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blackjack-15 · 3 years

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Leavin’ on a Jet Pack — Thoughts on: The Haunting of Castle Malloy (HAU)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. Like with all of the Odd Games, there will be a section between The Intro and The Title called The Weird Stuff, where I go into what makes this game stand out as a little strange.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: HAU, mention of DAN.

The Intro:

Yup, this is the jetpack banshee game.

Honestly, that’s probably the best introduction to this game. It’s semi-famous among the fandom for just being balls-to-the-wall nuts, and for good reason; while HAU isn’t quite as confused as some of the other Odd games, it’s definitely less organized, and there’s very little story to tell here.

And the story that is there? Well, we’ll cover that in The Weird Stuff.

The Haunting of Castle Malloy falls near the end of the Odd Games, and honestly it more than deserves its place. Sure, we’re in a different, ‘exotic’ location like…well, most of the Odd Games, but it’s not like it really matters, as Nancy sees very little of Ireland. A car drive, a brief interlude outside of a pub, and the weirdest outside interface ever seen in a Nancy Drew game (even being reused in the next game briefly), and for all of that we might as well be in the Florida swamps.

Let’s not even mention the teetotaler pub. The less said about that, the less silly that this game comes off. Everyone in Ireland drinks a tall, frothy cup of Juice when they want to relax.

Sigh. Honestly, HER. Just skip the pub entirely.

HAU is also a game that tries to contextualize itself in Nancy’s past, but doesn’t do a very good job about it. It’s not inside reference-y like Secret of the Old Clock, but it’s also not grounded in character like…well, all of the Nancy games (ASH through SPY). It just springs in the ‘hey remember this character you’ve never heard about nor had referenced because we made her up whole cloth for this game’ little mechanic and tries to whisk the player away with it.

Consider me unwhisked.

And maybe that’s the biggest problem – or rather, the biggest signifier – of The Haunting of Castle Malloy: it relies on whirling the player away in the Sights and Sounds and Juices of Ye Olde Greene Eire, but instead…well, it doesn’t have the power to whirl the player. It doesn’t even have the body to muss the player’s hair when the wind comes around.

HAU is very little like its source material; in fact, really the only thing that the book and game have in common is that they’re both set in Ireland, and that the mystery involves Nancy’s friends. Sure, in the book it’s Bess and George, rather than an obscure, hitherto-unknown exchange student, but since there’s nothing else, we’ll give them points for it.

The majority of this meta (and the majority of this game) falls under the weird stuff designation, so let’s pop on over and talk about what makes HAU truly odd.

The Weird Stuff:

The entire premise of this game isn’t too far off the mark of normal – Nancy’s summoned to help a family friend, which is the case for quite a few Nancy Drew games (more than the opposite, I believe, at this point in the series) — but it does stand out a bit that she’s going to be in a wedding as a maid of honor.

While I could see it for Bess/George, Hannah (which would be fun) or Ned (which is my personal headcanon), it’s a bit odd that this is a character we’ve never heard of who considers Nancy her closest female acquaintance. You’re telling me Kyler got through elementary, middle, high, and University without making a single friend other than the weird little kid she knew while studying in River Heights?

That’s weird enough to get a section by itself, but it’s not even scraping the surface of this game.

Going deeper, our predominant theme/conflict/effery in this game is a convoluted love triangle between the bride, groom, and their best friend (who for some reason isn’t involved with like anything with the wedding, regardless of the fact that he should be doing at least as much as Nancy is doing, and possibly more since he’s an actual friend of the couple), with Kit still being in love with Kyler (for some unimaginable reason) yet friends with Matt. Kit, notably, doesn’t really do anything about it, but just having that plotline being our main thread is a super weird choice, honestly.

This is also a story about marriage troubles; sure, they haven’t officially tied the knot yet, but the fact that Kyler thinks that her fiancé disappearing the night before their wedding is a “classic Matt prank” and not either something deeply worrying or a sign that he’s too immature for a commitment is a Huge Yikes.

Best case scenario and he’s playing a prank…does he think people won’t take this as a bad sign, that early-arriving guests won’t freak out, that this won’t cause any problems?

And worst case, he’s been kidnapped (the truth of course being even dumber than that), and the first 48 hours after a kidnapping are the most crucial, meaning that Kyler’s inaction could result in a death that didn’t have to happen on her watch.

What I think HER really didn’t think about was the implications of this setup. Either way, it doesn’t just look bad for Matt and/or Kyler (to say nothing of Kit), it looks bad for their future.

We have no faith that these two are actually interested in each other, let alone in love and committed to this relationship. Nancy, famously deaf to emotions like this, doesn’t really make any comments about how this bodes ill, but the player is bound to think that something’s not quite right if these two people are so mismatched.

In a slightly less uncommon theme for the Nancy Drew series, this is also a game about unrequited love. Let’s face it, for the majority of the game the only suspect really is Kit, since Donal isn’t big enough to kidnap Matt, and it’s a Nancy Drew game, so Matt definitely isn’t out there playing a very poorly timed prank on his bride to be. Kit even has suspicious documents (the land drawings) and such that add up to him wanting Matt out of the way, even without his unrequited love schtick with Kyler.

Honestly, how two people were in love with that chick is just…it boggles the mind, honestly. What is appealing at all about Kyler? Her weird hair? The fact that it looks like she’s wearing a green dress the whole game only to have it be pants? Her bland personality? Awful voice? The way she looks in the weird photographs in the game?

Sorry for the digression, but I am struggling here.

The last section within this section will talk about the thing that’s by far the oddest conceptionally in this game – the banshee/jetpack storyline. Most of the time when it’s a folk/faerie story in these games, it turns out to be not true, and that’s still the case here. To have it not be a banshee, but instead be a senile, badly mentally damaged old woman flying around on a jetpack from World War II, on the other hand…that stretches the limits of believability to where it would have been better to just have it be a banshee.

Fiona and her backstory and her jetpack are pretty much the oddest pieces, with none of them actually fitting into the larger themes of the story. Our backstory in this game — WWII Ireland and its scientific achievements — isn’t integrated at all with the present day, dethroning previous WWII-focused backstory game Danger by Design for ‘least related backstory’ award, and it’s not justified at all within the story or characters either.

The Title:

As far as titles go, “The Haunting of Castle Malloy” isn’t bad at all; it’s fairly standard, slightly pulpy Nancy Drew fare, and certainly better than the title of its book inspiration (“The Bike Tour Mystery”, so named because Nancy et al go on a bike tour in the book). It tells you the “what” (haunting) and “where” (Castle Malloy), and is fairly evocative.

I really just have a problem with it being the title of this game. Not only is the Castle not really relevant — sure, it’s where the game takes place, but it’s not important to the game outside a conversation or two — within the story, but the game doesn’t really pull off the ‘haunting’ side either. It’s established pretty early on that there are weird lights and sounds, but that’s about it.

If you want to keep the location, “The Banshee of Castle Malloy” I feel like would have been a better choice, as it tells us right away we’re dealing with Irish mythology, and shows it’s supposed to be a Haunting game (no matter how poorly it pulls that off) without any excess fuss. It’s also a little more specific, which is generally a good move to make the title more interesting — like how “The Shadow in the Fog” is better than just “The Shadow” as a title.

HAU’s title seems to be solidly in the middle of Nancy Drew titles, so there’s not much more to say about it. Let’s move on to the mystery it somewhat, but not completely, speaks of.

The Mystery:

Nancy’s been summoned overseas again, but this time it’s for pleasure, rather than business. An exchange student that Nancy and Carson housed for a few months is getting married, and wants Nancy to be her maid of honor.

And no, I have no idea why Carson wasn’t invited. Way to snub the man who fed and housed you, but invite his daughter (who was 14 at the time Kyler knew her) to hold one of the most important places in the wedding.

Anyway, by the time Nancy arrives — the night before the wedding; bad form Nancy — the groom — Matt Simmons — is missing, which Kyler suspects is a practical joke (as Matt has a reputation for pulling pranks) and Donal, the caretaker of the Castle, thinks is a sign of being kidnapped by faeries for the crime of being English and marrying an Irishwoman.

Out of the many crimes of the English, I don’t think this one ranks enough with the Fae to merit a stepping-in, but hey, what do I know about crudely-drawn stereotypes in a HER game. I’m sure they did all of the possible research, talked to experts about Irish mythology, spent about 5 minutes on the Wikipedia article for “banshee”…at least one of those.

The only other person on the Castle grounds is Kit Foley, Matt and Kyler’s friend — and Kyler’s unrequited admirer. A land developer, he’s literally the most suspicious person at the castle by being the only one actually in the castle and by holding the (honestly reasonable) opinion that Matt just got cold feet and left.

Once Nancy finds Matt’s broken glasses and Kyler mentions that he’s blind without them, however, the race is on to find Matt — who definitely couldn’t have broken a spare/fake pair of glasses as part of the prank, shush you — before the wedding the next day. What should have been a grueling search takes an hour or so, and they find out that he accidentally fell in a secret passage and got trapped there, being fed carrots and potatoes by the resident crazy woman like he was a blind, helpless rabbit.

Yeah.

As a mystery…I mean, is this even a mystery??? What honestly went on in the pitch room that day? “We’re gonna write about fidelity, unrequited love, the stress of a wedding, a friendless woman who invites an 18-year-old because she never made any friends…and a crazy old woman with ties to World War II. And a jetpack.”

I don’t even know how I would begin to rate this mystery. Bad? Because that’s honestly the word that comes to mind. I’m never a fan of “oh it was all a Hilarious accident, ho ho ho” endings to mysteries, and this one is worse than most. Nothing follows, the backstory is such a non-entity it really doesn’t bear spelling out, and the characters aren’t even a little likable. This section could delve into each problem with the mystery but, honestly, that sounds exhausting and I’m gonna go over the bigger points below anyway, so let’s get to the clowns that make up this circus.

The Suspects:

Beginning with Kyler Mallory, our bride to be who, for some reason, has her hair and tiara done the night before the wedding — I guess she’s not planning on sleeping? — is searching for her prankster groom to “teach him a lesson” and so he knows that once they’re married, “no more pranks ever”.

Sounds like she loves him dearly and wouldn’t change a thing, huh. If that wasn’t worrying enough, she’s not super fussed that he’s disappeared the night before their wedding, and considers it a “Classic Matt” sort of thing to do.

As a culprit – man that would have been a dark turn, to have her kidnap/hide away Matt to teach him a lesson about not pulling pranks. It, of course, would have made a friendly acquaintance of Nancy’s into a bad guy, and that’s a huge No-No for HER, but it would have been kinda cool all the same.

Kyler’s groom is Matt Simmons, an Englishman who is decidedly unwelcome in Ireland (at least, according to Donal) and who has a strong reputation for being a little too heavy on the pranks — so much so that when he disappears, his own fiancée just thinks it’s another prank. To be fair to her, he did disappear while pulling a very sad little prank on her, so she wasn’t entirely off base.

As a culprit…how would that even work? That would be like FIN’s Maya kidnapping herself for no purpose whatsoever. Matt isn’t really given any character beats other than “prankster” and “fed like a rabbit”, so there’s really not much to speculate on here. I do wonder what Kyler sees in him…but then again, I also wonder what he (and Kit) see in Kyler, so we have that as well.

Next up is the couple’s friend Kit Foley, who’s sporting an enormous shiner to the wedding courtesy of a wayward branch (and a bit of karma) that smacked him while he and Matt were pranking Donal. He’s in love with Kyler (why????) but seems happy enough for his friends, and is of the opinion that Matt simply got cold feet and left.

Not sure why you’d be friends with someone who’d do that, but no one in this game has any character at all, so we’ll blow past it.

A land developer, Kit is basically the only suspect and yet a terrible suspect at the same time. Sure, he’s in love with Kyler (again, why???), but he also doesn’t really gain anything from them not getting married, just like he doesn’t gain anything from them getting married. I never thought I’d see the day where a brooding best friend is so…unaffected by the marriage of his long-time crush, but that just goes to show you how little depth even Kit — who somehow has the most depth of any character — really has.

Finally, Donal Delaney is the caretaker of Castle Malloy, and a firm believer in the Fae. He’s also really the only Irishman in the cast, which isn’t a great look for HER. He thinks that the Fae have taken Matt in return for being in Ireland and sleeping in the old nursery room in the castle, and is easily frightened.

Seriously, that’s his whole character.

As a culprit…as much as Donal is grumpy, he’s not really any sort of entity as a suspect. He hangs out at the pub, drinks fruit juice, and talks about the Fae, and that’s the extent of his involvement in the plot. The most importance he gets is inadvertently being the source of Kit’s black eye, and that’s so tertiary to the plot that it might as well not be there.

The Favorite:

Even though this game is, by all accounts, a ridiculous non-entity, there are a small amount of things that I do like.

I’m actually a fan of the opening sequence; it’s like a better version of CUR’s opening, has Nancy crashing her car (always fun) while telling Ned she’s not gonna crash (even more fun), and she doesn’t show up right away at the castle. Honestly, the first about 10 minutes of the game are actually solid, and more fun than the rest of the game as a whole. So that probably qualifies as my favorite moment in the game, spliced with the revelation that Matt has been subsisting on raw carrots and potatoes, which is just…honestly unimaginably funny.

My favorite puzzle is the seating chart for the wedding. Veterans of this meta series (all 5 of you) will know that my favorite types of puzzles are word and logic puzzles, and this is a great logic puzzle. I honestly could have done an hour of that puzzle and been happy as a clam. It really stands out as, well, the only fun I had during the majority of the game, but it was honest fun.

The Un-Favorite:

And then, on the other hand…

There’s a lot about this game that isn’t great, but almost none of it do I hate; there’s just not enough effort for me to hate it.

Except the background setting.

Having already done WWII as a backstory, HER really should have thought twice about returning to it only five games later. With Brendan Malloy developing fuel for armored vehicles, only stopped by it exploding in his (and everyone’s) faces in 1944…honestly, there’s no reason that this game’s backstory should take place in World War II, other than to have a reasonable chance of Fiona still being alive. It also makes it seem like ‘oh the War really didn’t touch Ireland that much hahahaha” which isn’t a great look either.

Honestly, HER’s treatment of Ireland is pretty ‘un-favorite’ here, but since HER never really does a good job handling any country (or most states outside the Pacific Northwest), it’d be fairly pointless to begin talking about it at length now.

My least favorite moment is probably the reveal of the culprit/mystery at the end; it’ so anti-climactic, honestly, and only comes after much struggle through two very stupid puzzles. It doesn’t give any meaning to the game, no one learns any lessons, and — probably unpopular opinion here — it probably would have been better for everyone involved (including Fiona) if Fiona would have died in that explosion 60+ years ago.

My least favorite puzzle would actually be the two puzzles at the very end — the chemicals and the rocket ship. The chemical puzzle is the worst offender, but both are pointless, do nothing for the story, and really feel like they’re there because Nancy Drew games have to have a puzzle at the very end. Putting something into a game because you ‘have’ to is never good, and this is a prime example of how annoying that obligation can truly be.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Haunting of Castle Malloy?

The first thing I’d say is that, despite the games in the Nancy Drew series often containing one, I don’t really think the HAU needs a historical backstory. If you must give something to the Castle and the explosion, set it back in World War I, which would at least be something different.

But honestly, it’d be better to just get rid of it entirely. It’s old, it’s a castle, it’s in ruins, move on. The present has enough potential for drama without mucking up the past.

The second thing I would do is to take out Fiona entirely. Sure, still have the legend of the banshee going around the area, but it’s all things that are (mostly) easily explained, like in most haunting games. Figures in the fog? That’s just grounds crew who have been working for months to prep the site for the wedding. Strange lights? Well, yeah, the castle wouldn’t be wired for electricity if it’s been abandoned, so the workers have to bring in their own lights. Screaming noises? That’s just pre-marital jitters. Or something; you get my point.

As in all haunting games, have one or two unexplained things to suggest that the banshee actually was real, mourning the “death” of the last Malloy — because Kyler’s taking Matt’s name, or some other such nonsense. The sad thing is that it doesn’t really matter; anything that adds meat to the story would be an improvement on such a nothingburger of a game.

I would also bring in Alan, the best man, as more than a phone contact. Let’s face it, only having Kit and Donal as suspects (as Matt’s gone and Kyler doesn’t even pretend to count for a second) is really stupid, and this game needs some more detail and at least an hour more of playtime that doesn’t just involve getting lost in the bog.

Bring in Alan who is confused as to why he was chosen as best man, but suspects it’s because Kyler also has feelings for Kit and thus didn’t want Matt to choose him to be the Best Man (in other words, take out the weird social climbing angle). It would take a subtle hand, but I actually wouldn’t mind Alan having a bit of a thing for Matt himself, just to re-emphasize the “love is like an Egyptian painting; everyone is looking at the back of someone’s head” sort of theme we’ve got going on in this game.

The last thing I’d do is to bring Ned in, and have him be in the car with Nancy on their way. Think of it; usually wedding guests get a plus one; it would be a good excuse for Nancy to ask Ned out rather than leaving him behind as per usual, and Ned would probably be able to relate to Kit/Alan better than Nancy can, on account of Ned having actual emotional intelligence.

I wouldn’t say to have him be player-controlled, but I think Ned hanging around the castle, trying to help out with the emotional snarl that the guys have gotten themselves into (with Nancy focusing more on Donal and Kyler) would not only be in character, but would be a great way to make room for some emotional depth — something that Nancy herself, if not the games, usually skirts around or ignores entirely.

Would these changes fix the game completely and make it a winner? No, I don’t think so. I think the game is too structurally weak to really ever rise above mid-level, and possibly not even lower mid-level. But I think, along with some sprucing up of motivations and puzzles, these changes could help make HAU better than it is — and that’s worth it, no matter if it makes it into the Top 10 Nancy Drew Games list or not.

#nancy drew #clue crew #nancy drew games #the haunting of castle malloy #HAU #nancy drew meta #my meta #long post

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a-solitary-marshmallow · 4 years

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Please Don’t See Me - Chapter 4

As shaky as things with Rebus had begun, they quickly settled into a comfortable companionship. The wolf was stubborn and willful when he wanted to be but it was… actually quite nice, to have someone to talk to.

As the days passed Rebus allowed Ford closer and closer, finally permitting Ford to brush his wild fur when more than a few of Ford’s belongings got tangled up in there. If anything Rebus seemed to appreciate the grooming. Ford couldn’t say he liked having his hair brushed (it was too short to do anything with and he’d never had anyone try to touch it beyond casual hair-ruffling) but he had to admit, it was quite soothing to run his hands through clean, silky fur.

If only the wolf wasn’t so frightening to look at.

Ford sighed, standing alone and empty-handed at the front door where the mailman had run off screaming, taking Ford’s package with him. Rebus yawned and stretched and looked generally imposing and wolf-like.

“Could you not scare away the postman?” Ford complained. Rebus looked entirely unapologetic. “Unbelievable.”

____________________________________________________________________

“You’re only making this harder on yourself.”

Rebus growled stubbornly and planted his ass on the porch, refusing to move no matter how much Ford pushed and pulled. If only the darn wolf wasn’t so heavy! Ford was up to his elbows in thick fur.

“You’re filthy, and you’re shedding!” He pressed his back against the wolf and shoved, only managing to slide him a few centimeters. Great. In an hour they might reach the front door. “You need a wash.”

Rebus let out a little growl.

“Oh, stop that.” Ford grabbed handfuls of fur and pulled. The hound sighed dramatically and flopped onto the deck, making Ford squawk in frustration. “Don’t lie down! Rebus!”

Rebus resolutely ignored him. Ford straightened.

“Of course. Of course I have to deal with this.”

Rebus’s outright refusal to bathe almost reminded him of his teenaged years, Ma bullying Stanley into washing. ‘A dip in tha ocean doesn’t count!’ She’d scold. ‘Go get yer ass in the shower or I’ll empty a bucket a’ water over yer head!’

Hmm.

Rebus yelped when Ford dumped a bucket of cold water over him. Ford snickered at the wrinkled nose and dirty glare Rebus shot him as he crawled, wet and dripping, from the rather sudden puddle.

“You were the one who refused to move to the bathroom. Don’t blame me for the consequences.”

Ford got to feel vindictively gleeful, up until Rebus shook and sprayed him from head to toe in dirty water.

____________________________________________________________________

Ford went on a shopping run to stock up on supplies. When he returned, Rebus was curled up on the couch and the TV was blaring. Ford froze in the doorway.

Rebus glanced up almost guiltily. Reruns continued to play. The wolf rolled

sideways onto the remote and the TV switched off. Rebus yawned, stretched, and padded away, leaving Ford gaping.

____________________________________________________________________

It was past midnight and Rebus was still bothering him! Ford threw down his pen and turned to glare blearily at the fussing animal. Rebus glared back from his spot in the doorway of Ford’s study.

“What? I already fed you! I’m busy.”

Wait, had he fed the wolf? He must have, Rebus would bark and whine and generally be a nuisance if Ford forgot. So what else did he want? Ford was getting frustrated with all the pacing and the stares. Rebus had been sending him those looks all night! All… morning? Afternoon? Ford wasn’t sure how long he’d been at it. He was pretty sure he’d pulled at least one all-nighter in the last few days but it was all a little hazy.

Tugging – Rebus had bitten his sweater sleeve and was currently tugging Ford out of his chair. Ford yelped and grabbed the desk to steady himself.

“Hey!”

He pulled back. Rebus yanked again with a jerk of his head and sent Ford stumbling forward.

“Let me go – you ridiculous animal – hey!”

Rebus continued dragging him through the house until Ford stumbled and caught himself on the frame of his bedroom door. He grabbed Rebus’s jaw to try and pry the fabric from his teeth but Rebus shook his head from side to side to avoid the reaching hands.

At some point it devolved into a tug-of-war, Ford still half inside his sweater and unable to hold back snorts of laughter at how hopelessly tangled he was quickly becoming. He wrestled Rebus to the ground as well as he could one-armed. Rebus growled playfully and tugged at his clothes.

Ford wheezed. He hadn’t noticed it while at his desk, but now that he was moving his vision was swimming a little. Come to think of it, when had he last slept? He was conveniently near his bedroom, as if that was where Rebus had been so intent on pulling him. Maybe a nap wouldn’t hurt…?

Rebus seemed to sense that Ford’s head wasn’t in the game anymore, because he quit playing and instead leaned against Ford’s side. The scientist yawned and reached up blindly to pet Rebus’s ears.

“Yes, yes… play can wait. I think I’ll try to catch a few hours of sleep.”

Rebus didn’t seem too disheartened. In fact, he watched sternly as Ford stumbled to bed, letting out a satisfied huff when Ford’s head hit the pillow.

Odd behaviour… Ford thought, before slipping into dreams.

____________________________________________________________________

Rebus growled and dodged out of the way as Ford tried to clip the harness around his chest.

“Stay still! A leash is necessary if I don’t want to get in trouble. It’s either this or a collar, and you made your position clear on collars.”

Rebus glared at the object in Ford’s hand. The scientist scowled.

“You and I both know you don’t need a leash. But the residents of Gravity Falls don’t. They’ll get in a panic if you walk up unrestrained! Do you want to visit the town or not?”

The stare-off continued, until Rebus finally looked away. Ears pressed flat, he slunk forward to unhappily let Ford clip him in.

“See? Not so hard.” Ford said triumphantly. Rebus continued to mope the entire drive down to Gravity falls. That is, until the houses came into view. The wolf perked up, even going so far as to press his face to the window to get a good view of the town around them.

Once Ford parked and they exited the vehicle, getting around became a little more difficult, what with the teen screaming ‘WOLF’ and jumpscaring everyone on the street. Ford lifted his hands, holding the leash in clear view, in the hopes of de-escalating the situation.

“It’s okay, he’s domesticated. He’s my, uh…” Damn, he hadn’t thought this far ahead. “…dog. A crossbreed.”

The teen continued to peer suspiciously at the obviously-a-wolf. Rebus wagged his tail helpfully.

“…okay.” She said dubiously. “Er – what’s its name?”

“Rebus.”

The teen tipped her head, still squinting somewhat. “Does it bite?”

“Certainly not.” Ford lied. Well, it technically wasn’t a lie – Rebus didn’t bite people. The wolf in question stepped forward to greet the slightly-less-suspicious teenager, who hesitantly offered one hand.

“Um. Hi, Rebus? I’m Matilda.” She added to Ford, who nodded and introduced himself in turn.

“Stanford Pines.”

Matilda looked up suddenly from petting Rebus. “Wait, you’re the scientist dude who lives in that weird shack?”

Ford rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah, well, yes. I am a scientist.”

“No kidding. Everyone knows about you, dude. They’ve just never met you before. Or heard your name or know anything about you.”

“I tend to keep to myself.” Ford admitted. “How did you know who I am?”

“My boyfriend Dan talks about you sometimes.”

“Ah, yes, Boyish Dan. The lumberjack.”

Matilda sent him finger guns. She seemed quite laid-back when she wasn’t screaming about wolves. Ford decided to chalk up that incident to surprise.

“Well, give him my regards. Rebus and I must be on our way before the shop closes.”

“Sure.” Matilda stood, dusting hair off her jeans. “And, uh, just a word of advice; you might wanna get that dog a collar.”

Rebus shot him a glare. Ford sighed. “I’ll certainly keep that in mind.”

____________________________________________________________________

Ford had grown used to the crashing of gnomes raiding his bins every few days. When he first came to Gravity Falls he’d tried to put a stop to it, but they’d always come back the next day. Eventually he had given up. They rarely tried coming inside, and as long as they stuck to raiding the bins and nothing else it was tolerable.

But he hadn’t heard the tell-tail banging and clattering for almost a week now. Ford peeked through the window to check; there sat a row of untouched bins. The gnomes hadn’t just gotten very quiet all of a sudden; they hadn’t come at all. Why had they suddenly decided to leave his house alone? Not that he wasn’t thankful. More often than not they would leave a mess for Ford to clean up after.

There was the clicking of claws, and Rebus brushed against his legs on his way to the lounge. Ford failed to notice the strands of grey beard hair sticking out against his dark coat, and turned away from the window just in time to miss a party of scuffed and bruised gnomes scrambling into the forest as fast as their little legs could carry them.

____________________________________________________________________

Ford had made a slight, miniscule mistake.

A lapse of judgment, maybe. He’d gotten so caught up in a recent breakthrough that he had… maybe… forgotten to pay the power bills. And the water bills. And, he was pretty sure, a couple other bills he probably should have been paying.

With the sudden onset of a blizzard he was now firmly shut up in his not-heated house, shivering against the chill. He’d tried lighting a fire but what little firewood he had available had been soaked through by the melting snow. Ford resorted to bundling up in the warmest clothes he could find and huddling on the couch.

He shot a jealous look at Rebus, still shivering slightly under layers of blankets. The wolf’s heavy coat had finally come in handy and now he lay, perfectly warm and content, on the carpet.

Ford pulled his blankets tighter around him, unable to suppress a shiver. He vowed to never forget to pay his electricity bills again.

Rustling got his attention – Rebus had gotten up from his comfortable napping spot and yawned, before jumping up onto the couch next to Ford. Ford lifted one corner of the blankets invitingly.

Rebus squirmed in with him, heavy and warm, like an oversized heater. Ford didn’t object when the wolf lay half on top of him and yawned again. He only buried his face and hands in the warm fur and, toasty and comfortable for the first time in hours, fell asleep.

(he would wake up the next morning with a crick in his neck and a wolf snoring against him, warm despite the frostiness of the air. And after that night Rebus would often sleep by him, curled up at his feet or at the foot of his bed or flopped across him without a care in the world, as if liberated by the realization that he was truly safe and wanted)

#please don't see me #my writing #my fic #chapter 4 #gravity falls #the stans #werewolf stan au #werewolf!stan

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side-effect-of-the-meds · 4 years

Note

Hey beautiful! I saw that reblogged gorgeous art and I’m wondering if you wanna Drabble about Ania and Erin doin some day after vday sweets shopping! Maybe with a teddy”fox” making an appearance? I hope your day is going well!!!!

It’s 11:56 pm but I will get this out before Vday is over or die trying!

A buzz of excitement settled over most of the Foxes as Valentine's Day grew closer. Dan was planning a very special present for Matt this year. She'd recently bought a collapsible pole, taking up dancing once more for her own enjoyment. While she'd sworn off dancing for men's pleasure, she'd decided to make an exception for Matt.

"Besides," she continued "it's not like I'm not going to get my own fair share of fun from it." The flirtatious wink she gave Ania did nothing to cover up her nerves. Honestly, Ania couldn't care less about Valentine's Day. It was a stupid holiday, existing for the sole purpose of financial gain. Even so, she tolerated Dan's rambling and even sat through a few performances. She knew that, more than anything, Dan was trying to convince herself of her own motivations. Dan's career as a stripper had left her with her own scars. If dancing for Matt was how Dan chose to reclaim her passion, Ania thought it best to support her. After all, she was just now learning to reclaim her body and sexuality.

There wasn't much she could do. She' slowly relaced to the point at which she could push past the elastic of her panties and into herself. She'd also begun to develop a tolerance for Erin's hands and lips on her. It wasn't much but it was far more than she'd even thought possible. Had it not been for the constant, unyielding support of Erin, Ania would probably still dissolve into a screaming, sobbing mess at the weight of a hand over her clothed breast.

Shaking the thought from her head, Ania brought herself back to the present. Dan was inspecting a bottle-green bra and panty set.

"So… what are you two doing for Valentine's Day?" Dan asked, suddenly.

"What?" Ania choked out.

"Oh, you don't have to play that game with me," Dan pressed on. "I see you two all cozied up together all the time." She punctuated her words with a nudge of her elbow into Ania's ribs. Ania felt the heat rise to her face. So, maybe she and Erin had been sitting a bit closer together than was strictly necessary but there wasn't much space on the couches in the lounge. But there was in the canteen at dinner. Or at the booths in the coffee shop. Or on the benches between drills. "You and Kevin aren't slick," Dan continued.

A small bubble of laughter rose up in Ania's chest, born equally from relief and at the sheer ridiculousness of the implication.

"Kevin and I don't have any plans," Ania said. In fact, she was beginning to wonder what exactly Kevin planned to do with his girlfriend a thousand miles away. Probably drink himself into a stupor before crying himself to sleep, Ania thought with a sigh. Maybe she would spend the night with Kevin, watching old Exy games in the hopes of keeping him distracted. "But candy goes on sale the day after Valentine's day. I should probably pick some up for Erin."

"How is she?" Dan asked, cautiously. Ania frowned. "I mean, Erin’s just been so quiet. Nicky's always fretting about her but now… even Aaron looks concerned. You're the only one she talks to."

"We don't talk all that much," Ania replied. It was true. Their mouths were usually too preoccupied.

“She does your hair doesn’t she?”

“So?” Ania snapped, tugging self consciously at one of her braids. Dan cocked a brow at her before steering the conversation back to safer territory. It wasn’t until an hour later that the two of them returned to Fox Tower. It was Thursday and they had a game tomorrow.

Sprawled out across her bed, Ania shifted through her stacks of homework. After wasting another hour trying to settle on something to do, she gave up entirely. Padding over to her door and out into the hall, she found her feet taking her to Kevin’s door on their own accord. With a soft rap at the door, Ania stepped back to wait for one of the boys to let her in. The latch clicked and the door swung open. A pair of empty hazel eyes met Ania’s, making her stomach somersault.

“I was looking for Kevin,” Ania said. Erin stepped back just a bit in silent invitation. As Ania stepped through the threshold, she felt the ghost of a hand brush against her hips. It sent a full-body shudder down her spine.

“He’s not here,” Erin said, shutting the door. “Nicky and Aaron are out too.”

“Oh,” was all Ania could manage. Shoving her shaking hands into the pockets of her sweats, she made her way to the living room. She let herself fall onto an unoccupied beanbag. A half-empty pint of ice-cream sat on the floor beside it. From behind her, Ania heard Erin’s quiet footsteps. Moving to stand in front of her, Erin crossed her arms as she waited for Ania to give her back her seat. “There’s still space for one more,” Ania said, a sly smile curling her lips despite the hammering of her heart.

Ania was good at this. Messing with people was second nature to her but her ability to get under Erin’s skin was on another level. The toxic twists of Ania’s tongue drove Erin up the wall and there was nothing Ania wanted more than to see Erin lose control. Exy was amazing. It really, truly was, but it had nothing on the thrill that raced down Ania’s spine as Erin stepped forward and sunk to her knees.

“Yes or no?” Erin asked. Ania went quiet for a minute, taking stock of her own mental stability.

“It’s yes until it’s no,” Ania replied. She felt a rough calloused palm cup her face, a thumb pressing into the four tattooed there. The other hand traced down Ania’s arms before slotting itself into the spaces between Ania’s fingers.

“Who am I?” she asked.

“Erin,” Ania replied, opening her eyes. The normally empty eyes had grown hard, searching Ania’s face for any sign of hesitation. “Kiss me, Erin.” Their lips collided together. Erin slid her hand down the column of Ania’s neck to cup the back of it. She shifted her weight forward, bearing down on Ania. She fell back with little resistance. Ania was more than content to let Erin take the lead. A commercial for lord knows what played quietly in the background, easily drowned out by the little symphony of sounds spilling from Ania’s lips. It felt like an eternity before Erin peeled herself away, breathing heavily. Breathless as she was, Ania chased after her. It didn’t matter if she couldn’t breathe. Who needed oxygen when Erin’s lips were right there? Erin dodged easily, winding her hands in Ania’s hair to distract her. At the gentle scrape of nails on her scalp, Ania relaxed and fell back.

Erin shifted her attention away from Ania’s lips, occupying herself with kissing her way down Ania’s jaw and neck. Resting a hand on the zipper of Ania’s jacket, she looked up at her for confirmation. Ania gave a sharp nod and watched with bated breath as Erin tugged down. Three months ago, Ania had promised to show Erin the reason why she changed alone in the stalls. After last month's fiasco, it seemed that Erin wasn’t going to let herself get cheated out of their agreement.

“Kill her,” Ania had said with a shrug. “Give them exactly what they want: a reason to throw you behind bars. Who’s going to protect Aaron then? Certainly not me. The second you’re gone, Kevin and I will get whisked away back to Evermore. The next time you’d see me, I’d be an official member of the perfect court. Couldn’t possibly keep my promise to you then, could I?” In the blink of an eye, Erin was standing before her, a hand fisted in the material of Ania’s t-shirt.

“Deal or no deal, I’m not going to break my promise to Aaron for you,” she’d snarled.

“Of course not,” Ania replied evenly, despite the savage look in Erin’s eyes. “While I might not be a hallucination, I’m not real either. You’d be a fool to throw away Aaron for me. Besides, be it by Riko’s hand or my own, I’ll be gone by the end of the year. All my life I’ve been running. With you at my back, I’ve finally managed to catch my breath. As soon as you're gone, I’ll slip back to my old habits. Don’t you think Aaron will too? I’m not asking you to pick me over him. In fact, I’m asking the exact opposite. I’m asking you to be to him what you are to me.”

“And what’s that?” Erin asked.

“A friend.” At that, Erin’s anger faltered.

“You are not my friend,” she snapped, recovering quickly.

“Oh, I’m fully aware of that. But just because I’m not your friend doesn’t mean that you aren’t mine.” Ania slowly uncurled Erin’s fist from the material of her shirt. In its place, she slid her hand. “Ania has a lot of friends. She has people to fuss and worry over her. She has people to talk and laugh with. Sometimes I think that they might even love her. But I’m not Ania Josten and they’re not my friends. You and Kevin are.”

The panels of Ania’s jacket fell away, revealing her ruined torso. She shut her eyes but she could feel Erin’s eyes trained on her body. A hand settled on her hip, the thumb rubbing over a scar that raced down her pelvis bone and extended beneath the waistband of her sweats. Immediately, memories long buried of people stripping her down, inviting themselves to explore her body without consent resurfaced. Their wild, wide grins mocked the fat tears that rolled down her face. Their rough hands pinned her hips down as she gagged on the stale alcohol on their breath. A pair of hands undid the clasp of her bra. Another yanked savagely at her hair. A third pressed a blade deep into her flesh and dragged it down, down, down.

“Oh, darling,” Riko’s voice crooned. “Look at you. That pretty face of yours is all you’ve got left, isn’t it? No one’s ever going to want a wife covered in such ugly scars. No one but me. Nathania, love, won’t you marry me?” Screams echoed in Ania’s head. She felt handcuffs biting into her skin, reopening the skin that had only just begun to heal.

“Ania,” a voice called. It sounded as though she were underwater. “Ania,” the voice called again. Suddenly Ania felt the weight of a hand pressing against the nape of her neck. “Ania, who am I?” the voice demanded.

Ania wracked her brain. Who’s voice was that? Distantly, Ania felt a hand laced through her own. It tightened as the voice called her name again. Suddenly, she felt the ridges and valleys of thin scars, nothing like her own.

"Erin," she gasped. Her eyes flew open and she was greeted once more by a pair of hazel eyes. But they weren't quite as empty as usual. Instead, fear shone in those wide brown eyes. Looking down, Ania saw the pale scarred skin of Erin's forearms. "Erin," she said again quietly, still tracing over them, grounding herself. ErinErinErinErinErinErinErinErinErinErinErin. “Erin, will you sing for me?” Erin sang. The soft, unmistakable rasp of her voice in Ania’s ear eased some of the tension in Ania’s body.

They stayed like that until a knock sounded at the door, breaking the two apart. Erin stood to answer it tugging her bands back on as she went. It bought Ania enough time to cover herself back up. It was Matt. If he noticed their bruised lips and rumpled hair, he said nothing. Instead, the three of them headed down to the canteen. The rest of the monsters were already waiting by the car. Nicky rambled on about something or the other, Aaron’s voice competing with his to offer a counter-narrative.

At dinner, Ania chose a secluded corner for the Foxes to eat. Seated between Kevin and Erin, she ate in silence. After her silence on the ride over, Nicky had given up talking to her.

“What happened?” Kevin asked in french.

“Nothing,” Ania replied. He looked unimpressed by her sordid excuse for an answer. “Sometimes, you look just like your father,” she said. Kevin refused to speak to her for the rest of dinner.

The Foxes win the next day came easily, or as easily as anything came to the Foxes. After all, they’d been through this year, their easy win was a welcome turn of events. Even Kevin and Aaron were in good spirits. Piling into the car, the monsters headed out to Columbia to celebrate. As always, Kevin drank himself stupid, Nicky and Aaron danced, and Erin sat on her barstool staring out at them.

“Yes or no?” she asked suddenly.

“What about Kevin?” Ania asked

“Ronnie will watch him. Now, yes or no?”

“Yes.” Erin slid out of her seat and extended a hand out to Ania. With wide eyes, Ania took it. She let herself be led across the landing to a door near the bar. Punching in a code, she pushed open the door and led Ania down the hall and up a set of stairs. Pushing open a door at the top, Erin led Ania out onto a balcony. From it, Ania could see the city skyline, brilliant against the inky backdrop of night. “The view,” she whispered, in awe, “is amazing.”

“It is,” Erin replied. Ania turned to find Erin’s eyes still trained on her. Blood rushed to her face.

“Who’s staring now?” she teased. Erin wound a hand around the back of Ania’s neck and closed the space between them. There was something different about the kiss this time. Usually, when Erin kissed, she kissed like it was a fight for their lives. Her kisses were like fire, all-consuming. But where they usually left Ania feeling scorched clean, this one felt like there were hot coals simmering beneath her skin.

“Dance with me,” Erin mumbled against Ania’s lips.

“How drunk are you?” Ania countered.

“Not drunk enough for your shit,” Erin snapped. Ania laughed and nodded, knowing full well her face was as red as her hair. Erin laced her fingers through Ania’s and rested her other hand on her waist. Beneath them, a slow song that Ania didn’t recognize played. It seemed that Erin, however, did. She sang along to the beat thrumming beneath their feet as they swayed alone on the balcony. As the final bars of the song faded they broke apart. Erin’s phone buzzed.

Without another word, she headed back the way they came. Ania followed silently. Corralling the rest of the monsters, they headed out to the parking lot and piled into the car. In the back seat, Nicky was sprawled out across Kevin and Aarons laps already fast asleep. The two of them were bickering good-naturedly over whether or not the bones of some Welsh king could really be buried in Virginia.

Erin pulled up onto the drive. The boys got out, dragging Nicky up to the front door. Just as Ania was about to undo her seatbelt, Erin caught her hand. Staring the car back up, she pulled out of the drive and out onto the road. It was a short drive out to the grocery store. Grand displays of flowers greeted them as they walked in.

“Tomorrow’s Valentine’s day,” Ania remembered.

“Today,” Erin corrected, pointing at a large clock. It was three in the morning.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, bitch,” Ania said with a smile. Erin snorted and shoved her away. Rummaging through the pockets of her cargo pants, Erin pulled out a list. Handing it to Ania, she headed for the dairy section with the cart. Ania grabbed a basket and set out to hunt for the items on the list.

Two loaves of bread, a bunch of bananas, a few peaches, a carton of eggs, a few vegetables, and a box of instant rice later, Ania steered herself towards the dairy section. On her way, she passed once more the massive display of flowers. Dozens upon dozens of roses burst forth in stunning bouquets. Ania found herself drifting over to them, drawn by an unknown force. Her fingers traced the delicate petals, delighting in their velvety feel.

“Junkie.” Erin’s voice startled her from her trance. Erin was leaning against the bar of her cart, filled with gallons of ice-cream. Once she had Ania’s attention she straightened and steered the cart towards the check-out. Their total went well over a hundred dollars, the price of Erin's sweet tooth. She paid for it with the p-card.

“Coach needs to take that away from you,” Ania said as she gathered the bags.

“Coach needs to mind his pay grade,” she replied sourly. They drove home in silence. Erin put away the groceries while Ania disappeared to change. Creeping up the stairs and into Erin’s room, Ania snagged a pair of her thick pajama pants and a faded sweatshirt before changing quickly. She opened the storage closet, rooting through it for the inflatable mattress. “It popped so Aaron threw it out,” Erin said from behind her.

Ania shrugged, grabbing the pillow and blanket that they’d designated as hers. As she reached for the doorknob, Erin stepped into her path with her arms folded across her chest. Neither of them said anything.

Are you sure? Ania wanted to ask but she knew better than to question Erin. Instead, she turned and headed for the bed. Erin slept in a California king bed. Why she insisted on having one so big when Aaron himself only had a queen Ania didn’t know but now she was grateful. Tossing her stuff onto the bed, she lay as close to the edge as she could, facing Erin. If Erin woke in the middle of the night, the last thing Ania needed was to wake with a hand around her neck.

“You’re going to fall,” Erin said. Ania scooted over a hair’s breadth. An arm wrapped around her waist and drew her further in. Erin readjusted herself so that her back was flush with the wall. That left Ania at the edge of her reach. Pillowing her hands beneath her head, Erin curled up and closed her eyes.

Ania lay there, staring at Erin for the better part of an hour before her eyes began to drift close. “Goodnight, Erin,” Ania whispered before they fell shut.

“Go to sleep, doll face.” A small smile tugged at Ania’s lips as sleep dragged her under.

Ania woke late the next morning to the noise that seemed to accompany the monsters everywhere they went. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she searched the room for a clock. She nearly fell out of bed when she saw the time. It was two in the afternoon. Sure, they’d been out late last night but Ania had never woken up so late before. Tossing the sheets off of herself, she got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Brushing her teeth, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and flinched instinctively. Looking once more, her mouth fell open.

Tracing the tender skin beneath her eyes, she found that the dark circles beneath her eyes weren’t as pronounced as usual. It was odd seeing some of their natural color return. From a young age, Ania had struggled to get enough sleep. Even while she’d been living in Baltimore, she’d been plagued by nightmares, further enhanced by her father frequently dragging her down to the basement to ‘celebrate’ alongside him. Ania washed her face quickly and padded down the stairs.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe !” Nicky called when he caught sight of her. Rocketing out of his seat, he rounded the table and caught her in a bear hug. “Come open your presents,” he cheered. Once he’d set her down and Ania had managed to catch a breath, she found that three packages had been stacked neatly at her seat.

It took Ania a few tries to find her voice. “Why?” she croaked.

“We figured you don’t really get presents often so we just got you a little something,” Nicky said quietly.

“But it’s Valentine’s day,” Ania said.

“Friends can give each other valentines,” Nicky said, waving away her concerns as his upbeat self returned. “Now sit down and open them.” Nicky caught her by her shoulders and steered her towards her seat. A thin package sat atop the stack with a little note pinned to the top. Ania opened the envelope first.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Ania! I wish you could have spent it here with us but I didn’t want you to feel like a third wheel either. Anyway, Matt and I shouldn’t be having all the fun by ourselves ;) So Nicky and I picked out a little something for you. Love, Dan and Nicky

A sense of foreboding settled over Ania as she peeled up the tape sealing the package. Inside was something soft and sheer and lacy and bottle-fucking-green. Nicky’s impatience got the best of him and he snagged the present from her and tipped out the contents. Out spilled the matching set that Dan had been looking at when she’d taken Ania shopping.

“Isn’t it adorable?” he asked. Out of the corner of her eye, Ania saw something slip from the counter. Ania turned in time to see Erin catch the pan she’d dropped, the tips of her ears burning. Maybe Ania would get some use out of it. Turning back from the scene Ania saw Kevin watching her. He raised a brow, a sly smile tugging at his lips. For whatever reason, Kevin was fluent in American Sign Language. She decided to use the only bit of sign language she knew. The single finger she extended in response was enough to trigger his smile to break free entirely.

The next present was from Aaron. It was a long box wrapped in a simple matte red paper and tied with a velvet bow.

“No way,” she whispered in awe. It was a brand new skateboard. Often, Ania had seen Aaron riding his board around campus. She’d never been jealous of something so stupid. After catching her staring a few times, Aaron had shown up at her door and chucked a helmet at her. He’d taken her down to the parking lot by the stadium and strapped her into the helmet and pads. Their progress was slow, seeing as their schedules rarely lined up, but they’d managed it anyway.

“Stop smiling so hard before you tear your face in half,” he snapped. Ania only smiled wider.

“Thanks, Aaron.”

“Shut up, Josten.”

The third present was a small package from Kevin. Once again, she carefully peeled up the tape in an attempt to preserve the wrapping paper. Inside it was a new cassette player with a tape already loaded, a sticky note attached to the top. For when Erin and I can’t sing you to sleep anymore, it read.

Inserting the buds into her ears, Ania pressed play. The opening bars of the song Erin had sung last night flowed through them, surrounding Ania. Erin’s own voice rasped softly as she sang, Kevin’s voice layered atop hers. The two of them enveloped her in a melancholy calm. Kevin was right. There’d soon come a day when neither he nor Erin could sing her back down from the ledge. Once more, she’d be all alone. Ania didn’t know she was crying until she felt Kevin wipe the tears from her cheeks.

“How about some romcoms?” Nicky said, breaking the silence as he always did. Ushering them all into the living room, Ania saw the snacks he’d already laid out. She snagged a bag of chips and waited for the others to settle. Nicky and Aaron took the two-seater. Kevin stretched out across the largest couch. All that was left was the one-seater Erin had occupied.

“Kevin,” Ania said, a note of warning in her voice.

“What’s wrong? You can share a bed with Erin but not a seat?” The smile he wore was almost enough for Ania to forgive his jab. There was something so… fox-like about it, it wasn’t unlike any of the smiles she’d seen him wear before. Kevin looked so goddamn happy here. One of them was going to have to leave. If Ania wanted Kevin to be happy, she knew it was going to have to be her.

A hand tugged at her sleeve. Ania pivoted to see Erin staring blankly at the screen while she tugged her down into the seat. There wasn’t much room in the seat but Ania sat down essentially in Erin’s lap, aware of every inch of their clothed bodies pressed together. Nicky had already turned the lights out and closed the blinds by the time Ania had settled. Beneath the cover of darkness, Erin guided Ania’s head to rest in the crook of her neck. Loosing a breath against it, sent a shudder down Erin’s body.

“Don’t,” she warned. Ania nuzzled into the crook, trying to get comfortable. Kevin got up from his seat, complaining that it was too cold. He walked over to the coat closet and tugged out the extra blankets. He threw a blue one at the cousins, took the orange for himself, and covered the girls in the black one. Both of them glared at him but he pretended not to notice.

Several movies and a few bottles of alcohol later, it was time for dinner. Apparently, while Ania had slept, the whole family had pitched in to cook. The vegetables she’d bought last night had been turned into a stew with the meat they’d left in the freezer last week. The thick bread and rice were set out on plates in the center of the table. For dinner, Erin had baked a peach pie that neither she nor Aaron could enjoy on account of their allergies. Instead, they ate ice-cream doused with an insane amount of chocolate syrup and sprinkles. Each time Kevin complained, they drenched the concoctions with more while maintaining eye contact. Eventually, he learned his lesson and gave up on them, consoling himself with the fact that at least it was strawberry ice-cream.

They left late that night or early the next morning, depending on what kind of heathen you were. In the back seat, the boys had dozed off. All was silent except for the hum of the car and Aaron’s soft snoring. Both twins snored, not the loud rumbling of Renee, but a quiet almost comforting sound. Ania was quite possibly the only person in the world that thought someone’s snore could be a comfort.

She’d only been up for eleven hours but her eyes were closing once more. She fought with all her might to stay up.

“Go to sleep, doll,” Erin said.

“I’m fine,” Ania yawned.

“Say that again and I’ll kill you,” Erin shot back.

“If I died, would you cry?” Ania asked.

“I wouldn’t waste my tears blubbering at the funeral of a dumbass.”

“But in private?” Ania pressed. Erin’s silence stretched on. By the time an answer came, a veil of sleep had already settled over Ania, too thick for her to make out anything more than the sound of Erin’s voice.

Ania woke early the next morning in an attempt to reset her sleep schedule. She went for a run and returned a little later than usual only to find Erin gone. She padded over to the girls’ room next door and ate breakfast with them, listening to they recounted the events of the day before. Dan and Matt’s night had gone as planned and she now sported several hickies, worn with great pride. Renee and Allison had spent the day together. They’d gone out to Redding for a spa day and then out to dinner at a very high end restaurant.

“So… how was your day?” Dan asked, mischief written into every crevice of her face.

“We went to Eden’s Friday night so we came home late. We watched romcoms and had dinner,” Ania said with a shrug.

“And the presents?”

“Aaron bought me a skateboard.” Dan deflated, upset that her gift ranked below Aaron’s. Ania had no intention of telling Dan that she was wearing the gift right then.

Around twelve, Ania left the girls and headed for the store down the street from campus. It was a little late, but hopefully, they’d still have what she needed. The store was empty, save for the two employees working the mid-day shift. She grabbed a basket and beelined for the holiday section. Turning down the first aisle, she felt her heart bottom out. The chocolates and candy had been swiped clean off the shelves. On the other side of the rack, she heard the clatter of several boxes tumbling into a cart. Fury lit up in Ania. Swinging around the corner, Ania was fully prepared to chew out whatever asshole was out here buying up the last of the candy. That was until she caught sight of exactly which asshole was doing it.

“I didn’t know you had a sweet tooth,” Ania said as she abandoned her basket.

“I don’t,” Aaron replied.

“Kate doesn’t either,” Ania pressed. Aaron shot her a glare. Ania tried to hold a straight face but she couldn’t stop the smile twitching at the corners of her lips.

“Shut up, Josten.”

“Didn’t say anything,” she replied, sweeping an armful of goodies into the cart. Standing on the bar connecting the front casters, Ania let Aaron guide them down the aisle as she filled it with as much candy as she could.

“Day’s going to have a heart attack,” he said as he steered the cart towards the checkout.

“All the more reason to do it.” For the first time since the revelation of Ania and Erin’s relationship, Aaron smiled at her. It didn’t last long, though. At the sight of something behind her, his eyes grew wide.

“Tell me that doesn’t look like-”

“It does,” she whispered. Immediately, Ania hopped off the cart. “Come help me.” Aaron ditched the cart and got down on his knees so that Ania could climb them. Just like his sister, Aaron was ridiculously strong. Even so, Ania worried he might buckle beneath her. He didn’t. In fact, he stood in one smooth motion, boosting her up, up to reach her prize.

They threw their final item onto the conveyor belt before paying for their haul, this time with a credit card. Just as she’d finished loading the bags into the cart, Ania felt a pair of hands grab her waist. Before she knew it, she found herself getting thrown in along with them.

“Hold on,” Aaron said. And suddenly he was racing down the street, pushing the cart as fast as he could with Ania inside. A scream tore from Ania’s throat as she curled up inside. Whenever Aaron wasn’t being an ass, he was amazing. He was kind and charismatic and funny. The laughter that bubbled out of him as the road sloped down was infectious. Where there was once fear pumping through her veins, there was now screams of joy pouring from her too.

“Aaron, the wall!” she screamed but he already knew. She smelt burning rubber as he dug his heels in to slow them down but they were going too fast. Instead, he banked to the left and the cart toppled. Ania grabbed hold of the last item they’d bought and used it to protect her head as she fell out. Gravel embedded itself into her flesh. Skin peeled back and blood ran in rivers down her arms from the newly opened wounds but she didn’t care.

“Ania?” Aaron called.

“I’m alright. You?” she asked. The bright smile he gave her was enough of an answer. The pair of them dissolved into laughter before they finally found the strength to stand again. Hauling themselves up, they grabbed the bags and limped up the stairs. He handed her the remainder of the bags before parting ways to head to his own room. With some difficulty, Ania unlocked the door. Passing up the living room, she took the bags to the bedroom. Upending all but one onto Erin’s bed, she left the last one atop her own. She headed to the bathroom to assess the damage from the cart. It wasn’t anything too serious. Picking out the gravel, she applied disinfectant to the cuts and plastered bandaids over them.

When she finished, she put the little first aid kit back in place. She headed back to the bedroom only to find Erin already waiting. She was standing at the foot of her bed with her back to the door.

“Candy goes on sale the day after Valentine’s so I went to buy you some. Aaron beat me, though. I helped him carry it back if that counts for anything,” Ania said as she entered. As she did, she caught sight of what Erin was holding in her hands. A mask of apathy had settled over Erin’s face and it didn’t budge as she shoved it into Ania’s hands.

“This doesn’t mean anything, Junkie,” she said. With that, Erin grabbed a box of chocolates and moved to leave. Ania was too shocked to say anything. In her hands, she held a large bouquet of roses, just like the ones Erin had caught her playing with at the store the day before.

Once Ania had regained her senses, she headed for the kitchen to find a vase. There was one already waiting on her desk by the window. Erin stood before it, shaking out a packet that had to be plant food. She snipped the corner off and emptied into the water. Stirring it in, she held out a hand in a silent demand for the flowers. Ania handed it over carefully.

“Why?” Ania asked.

Erin loosed a sigh as though dealing with Ania was physically tasking. “You’ve just never shown any interest in anything other than Exy before. Besides,” she added after a pause. “Friends can give each other valentines.”

“Does that mean-”

“Shut up, Josten,” Erin snapped. When she turned, Ania was smiling wide. Erin closed the space between them. “Yes or no?” she asked before trying to kiss the dopey smile off Ania’s face.

When Erin left, Ania scurried back to her room. Pushing aside the plastic, she pulled her final present out of the bag. Soon Ania would have to leave and she couldn’t bear the thought of being all alone again. Maybe you can keep me company, she thought to herself as she flopped down on her bed.

“I think I’ll call you Jude,” she said. To anyone else, the empty brown eyes might have been unsettling, but to Ania, they helped ground her. She pressed feather-light kisses to the black fur extending from both front paws up to the torso, pretending that they were the pale scarred skin hidden beneath the black bands of another fox instead.

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wolfpawn · 4 years

Text

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 46

Chapter Summary - Tom decides a weekend away is the best cure for a blue little girl, some space and fresh air being the cure for some problems before Alexianna asks for him to join her at the school.

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

Previous Chapter

Tags: @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @theoneanna

Request if you wish to be tagged

Tom took charge of the whole situation. He ordered that Alexianna pack an overnight bag for herself and Lily and that he would be back soon, he was going to do the same. They would be leaving first thing. Alexianna made an argument about her coursework to which she was told: “bring it”.

That night, Tom held Alexianna against him as sleep evaded him because of the day’s happenings and the same caused her to toss and turn for the night in fitful sleep. Come four AM, he had been sleeping lightly for a short time when he woke as he heard the door to Lily's room open. He listened as she rambled to the bathroom but instead of her going back into her room and closing the door, he heard nothing. Gently, he moved Alexianna to the side as she continued to sleep before getting out of the bed and over to the door. Opening it, he saw Lily sitting on the top step of the stairs, looking at him sadly. 'What's wrong, Princess?’

'I'm sorry, Daddy.’ She whimpered.

Tom didn't know the reason for her apology straight away, it was only when he put on the hall light and saw the back of her PJ's wet and the ashamed look on her face he realised what had happened. 'Okay, it's alright. This happens.’ He consoled kindly. 'Come here.’ She got up and walked over to him. 'You go into the bathroom and take off the wet clothes and I will get Mommy, okay?’ she nodded and did what she was told. Tom went into the bedroom and gently shook Alexianna. ‘Lexi, we have an accident.’

Alexianna groaned and stretched. 'Coming.’ She got up and got her nightgown. 'Where are we?’

'Lily is in the bathroom getting out of the clothes.’

'I'll deal with it, you go back to sleep.’

'You clean her up, I'll get the bed sorted.’ Tom instructed.

Tired and seeing that he was adamant that he would not be swayed, Alexianna merely nodded before going to the bathroom. 'Hey Munchkin, let's get you cleaned up.’

'I didn't know until it was too late, sorry Mommy.’

‘It’s okay, come on, we'll wash you up and get you comfy and ready for bed again.’ Alexianna kept her voice calm and relaxed and assisted Lily to get cleaned and redressed into fresh PJ's passed to her by Tom before bringing her out of the bathroom and back to her bedroom. There, Tom had redone her sheets and placed the soiled ones on the floor by the door. 'Ready?’

'Yes, indeed.’ He smiled and picked up the freshly cleaned Lily. 'You need to get back to sleep now Madam, we are going on an adventure tomorrow.’

'What are we doing?’

'Only girls who are well rested get to find out.’ He grinned as he lifted her up and placed her in her bed. 'If you have a problem, Princess, never hesitate to come and knock on the bedroom door, okay? Mommy and I are more than happy to help.’

‘Okay, Daddy.’ She sighed contently, grabbing Baloo and cuddling into it before leaning forward to kiss his cheek, then looking to her mother for one.

With her goodnight’s said and with no fuss made of her accident, the adults left and went back to their room.

‘Did I do okay?’ Tom asked curiously, having never done a night accident before.

'Tom? He looked at Alexianna curiously. ‘Thank you.’ he gave her a small smile. 'You are incredible.’

He kissed her. 'I only follow your example. Now back to bed, we are up again in two and a half hours if we want to leave at eight.’

'Yes, Sir.’ Alexianna joked with a salute before Tom chuckled and they got into bed again, holding her against him again as they tried to get some more sleep.

Lily inhaled deeply as the sea air entered her little lungs as the car drove by the coast. When she realised where she was going, the foul mood that had engulfed her over the past week disappearing immediately. When Diana stood on the footpath, she giggled and bounced in her car seat. When Tom pulled in, she beamed brightly out the window as Diana opened the door. 'Nana.’

'Hello, Poppet.’ Lily all but wriggled out of her car seat when Diana opened the clasp and into Diana's arms. 'I missed you.’

'I missed you too, Nana.’ She cuddled the older woman.

A moment later, Diana gave both Alexianna and then Tom hugs in turn. 'I missed all of you. You know, you don't require an occasion to come to visit.’

'Are you sure it's okay?’ Tom asked, pointing to Sarah's car, indicating that his sister was at their mother's also.

'The more the merrier.’ Diana beamed honestly. 'Sarah and Yakov left her Ladyship here last night, they had a wedding to go to. They should be back come tea time apparently.’ She informed them.

As soon as they entered the house, there was excited squeals as Sophia and Lily both realised that the other was there. The girls immediately rushed to the living room to play with their toys, giggling and laughing.

'So, what is the story? I am delighted to see the three of you, of course, but there is clearly something afoot.’

'Lily is being bullied in school.’ Tom explained. Diana's face went stern. 'She is so down in herself, both at home and out and about and yesterday she begged us not to send her in. Alexianna told her to tell the teacher if the boy bothered her again and when she went to try and do that, he beat her up.’

'The poor pet.’ Diana shook her head. 'Sure, she's the quietest little thing. I never met a child as naturally quiet as her.’ As though to make a liar of her, the very next moment, both girls screeched loudly. 'Bar when she teams up with her cousin, that is.’

‘But before she went in, I told her that should she be physically accosted by him, if she was being hurt, she has the right to defend herself.’ Alexianna explained further.

'How did that go?’

'I am going into the principal on Tuesday. I was called in because of our daughter's behaviour.’ She responded angrily.

Diana took a moment to think about it. 'I deplore violence, as well you both know.’ Tom and Alexianna nodded. 'It solves nothing. What did he do to her?’

'Tore her hair tie out, painfully and hit and kicked her.’ Tom recited.

'And she struck back?’

'Yes, just once.’

'Did she tell a teacher?’

‘She tried to.’

'So it's a "he said/she said" really.’ Diana sighed.

'Not really.’ Tom clenched his jaw as Alexianna spoke. 'Lils?’ A moment later, she and Sophia rushed into the room. 'Show Diana your leg.’

Lily's smile fell and she lifted the leg of her pants. There on her shin was a dark purple bruise. 'Shawn was mean to me, Nana, he hurt me.' She said with teary eyes.

Seeing such heartache, Diana extended her arms and Lily walked over. 'My poor little girl.’ She kissed the side of her head. 'You are such a wonderful little girl and you are incredibly loved by your family, you know that, don't you?’

'Yes Nana, I have the bestest family in the world. I have you, Mommy, Daddy, Uncle Dan and Auntie Anna, Auntie Emma and Uncle Jack, Auntie Sarah, Yakov and Sophia.’ She listed.

Diana felt herself smile at the addition of her family to Lily's view of her family. 'That's right, my dear. Now, why don't you run along now and go back to the game you were playing with Sophia.’ Lily's smile returned as she rushed off to play with her “cousin”. When the children left the room, Diana spike again. 'I see.’

'Her hair was also unkempt when I collected her.’ Tom explained. 'I thought nothing of it, I thought she was playing and the hair tie fell out but no, he tore it out and you could see the scalp was red. I took photos and have them saved, in case this needs to go further.’

Diana nodded. 'Good. State your case. You need to do right by that little girl.’ Alexianna and Tom nodded. 'And don't think I didn't hear your little piece on the TV.’ She smirked. 'I am so proud of you, sticking up for Lily like that.’

'A man defends his family.’ Tom smiled looking to Alexianna beside him before taking her hand and kissing it.

The weekend did a lot to brighten Lily's mood, as well as give Alexianna and Tom some time to think and plan their course of action. Sarah revealed a lot when she confessed that Sophia had suffered similarly to Lily to the extent they demand that Sophia be put in the other reception class in the school but also stating they considered changing schools because of the remarks on their daughter. The talk of changing schools made Tom consider his plan to talk to Alexianna regarding Lily going to Hampstead Hill again but he decided to say nothing until the result of Tuesday's meeting was known. He asked if she wanted him there and was met with an emphatic yes.

In truth, Alexianna was anxious as she sat in the office chair, even with Tom by her side as they waited for Lily's headteacher to join them. When he did, he apologized for being late as well introduced himself formally to them as her teacher sat in another chair.

'Ms Hughes, Mr Hiddleston, I am Thomas Martin, and of course, you know Ms Smith, Lily's teacher while Mrs Robinson is on maternity leave.’ They nodded in acknowledgement. 'We are here because of an incident last Friday where Lily struck another pupil. This school has a zero bullying policy, we state that clearly, so we need to discuss the procedure going forward with how we deal with this, have either of you anything you wish to say?’

'Yes, actually.’ Alexianna sat straighter in her chair. 'I wish to know what procedure will be given to the boy and Ms Smith?’

'I'm sorry, I don't understand.’ the headteacher looked at her. 'Why would they be involved in any procedure?’

'For the week of abuse my daughter endured before she finally defended herself against it. For the fact that she told her teacher about her issues more than once with her classmate and was dismissed and told to let him settle. For when I came to said teacher on Friday to ask about it only to be told that said the child was her priority and she gave no indication that she would discuss the matter with us at another point and then proceeded to snap at my daughter that she was delaying things. Where are the procedures for all of the above?’ Alexianna was seething as she listed the wrongs against Lily and her and Tom's attempts to seek a resolution. 'I am not a violent person, Mr Martin, I do not believe violence solves much in this world but I do feel my daughter has the right to defend herself when she is being assaulted by another pupil and I will fight to my last breath to defend her in this situation. On Friday morning, after a week of her becoming more and more withdrawn and unhappy, she revealed to us the reason for her depleting happiness and I told her to tell her teacher, but also that should she find that that was of little help, that I gave her consent to protect herself.’

'Violence does not solve violence.’ The headteacher began.

'Neither does sticking your head in the sand and pretending it is not happening.’ Alexianna retorted. 'Do I have to wait for my daughter comes home with a broken arm or suffers childhood depression and fears school because of one boy before I do something? No, I won't allow it and I will go all the way to the department before I let it happen.’

Tom looked at Alexianna in awe. The woman that was still working so hard to get back to herself was going full mother bear mode for her daughter.

'What does Lily say this boy did to her? I was not made aware of this.’ Mr Martin asked with intrigue.

'A few random hits and name calling through the week, she told Ms Smith who proceeded to dismiss her, then on Friday, when she was accosted by him again, she went to tell the teacher and he pulled her hair so hard her hair tie snapped and kicked her and hit her more, so she gave him a slap back.’

'I didn't see any of this.’ Ms Smith declared.

'It's alright.’ Tom stated, taking out his phone. 'I collected her and she told me what happened so I got on to a legal friend of mine who told me to document any and all marks she had, so I did.’ He showed the headmaster the photos of Lily's marks.

Mr Martin looked at them for a moment before inhaling deeply. 'Ms Hughes, Mr Hiddleston, I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to you both and I will also extend my apologies to Lily.’ He handed Tom back his phone. 'It is blatantly clear that Lily has been on the receiving end of this and I will ensure that it is dealt with.’

'Thank you.’ Tom put his phone back in his pocket.

'I would ask that you ask Lily to refrain from violence also.’

'I will tell her as I did before, she is not permitted to hit anyone for no good reason, but should she require defending herself and a suitable adult is not around.’ Alexianna specifically looked at Ms Smith as she stated those words. 'Or the assault continues, she is allowed to do so.’

‘I understand, well we will make sure that does not need to happen.‘ Mr Martin stated. 'Thank you both for your time. Ms Smith, have you anything to add.’

'The boy is a good child and is just settling in. He does not need to be dragged into this.’

'Perhaps you require seeing Lily's shin also?’ Tom offered taking out his phone again. 'This is not a “boys will be boys” situation, that excuse is for grazed knees and mud not assault. If we did not document this and she showed these marks to someone outside of our family we could easily be investigated for child abuse or neglect such are her injuries.’

'I frankly don't care about whether or not he is settling well.’ Alexianna stated. 'I know new schools are scary and I feel for him on that level, I really do but if you think for one moment his way of relieving his emotions supercede my daughter's health in my eyes, you are very much mistaken. My daughter has wet herself with anxiety caused by this Shawn boy and I will not have it. Her, her education, and mental well-being are my priority, above all else.’The teacher remained quiet after such a statement. 'Thank you for your time, I think I speak for both Tom and myself when I say we are pleased that you are seeing sense here. We had to rearrange work for this so we had best go and let you both get on with your day.’ She stated. 'I really hope we can meet next time on better terms.’

'As do I, Ms Hughes. Once again, I am sorry for all of this. Mr Hiddleston.’

Tom gave a small nod and a thank you before they left the room and went back to the car. 'To be honest, I am not overly fond of that teacher, or her attitude.’ Tom confessed.

'Nor I.’ Alexianna concurred. 'I feel guilty for being annoyed at Mrs Robinson for having a baby.’

'Come September, she'll have a new teacher.’ Tom consoled.

'Still, I just really am not happy at her being stuck around this situation.’ She sighed and let her head hit the back of the seat. 'I thought I was doing the right thing getting her into that school but I just feel like it is not the right fit for her.’

'We can look into other schools if you'd prefer?’

'She was registered in this catchment area, Tom, it will be hard to get her in anywhere else. The one closest us is Hampstead Hill and unless I get a magic eleven thousand pounds in my bank account every year, it's not going to happen.’

'We can look at other options.’ He rubbed her hand. 'Let's just see what happens.’

#Life is a Game of Risks #chapter 46 #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic

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gucciwins · 5 years

Text

Baby Talk

I got to hold my baby niece today and it brought the inspiration for this.

4:26 a.m.

“Shut that bloody thing off” Harry mumbled letting go of your waist before giving you a quick squeeze.

You reached over to the side table and picked up your phone. You did not bother checking who was calling and just answered because the faster this was over the faster you could go back to your fiance’s arms.

“Hello?”

“The bun is leaving the oven.” She yelled on the phone.

“Maggie?” You questioned on the phone. She should be sleeping not calling you.

“My son is on his way. He wants his godmother at the hospital.” Maggie yelled at you.

“Nice way of asking me.” You shook your head at your sister. The hospital was thirty minutes away from you but thankfully at this hour there would be no traffic. You finished the call by telling her you would meet her there.

You set your phone down and got out of bed. You stopped and looked over your shoulder at Harry wondering if you should wake him because he had meetings with Jeff he could not miss.

“Lovie, give me five minutes and I am up.” His voice surprised you making you jump.

“You’re coming with me?”

Harry lifted his head and looked at you as if you had seriously just asked him that. “Move that beautiful peach into the restroom so I can rest five more minutes.” You seriously could not love this man more.

5:04 a.m.

You are in the waiting room because your sister is about to push out a baby. You were not a religious person but in that waiting room you prayed to anything and everything for the safety of two important people in your life.

“Lovie, you want a coffee?” You looked over at Harry who had wild curls all over his head. You reached up to move one from his forehead.

“Coffee, will make me more anxious. I’m craving Anne’s tea that puts me to sleep.” You pout looking up at Harry.

Harry frowns and pulls you into a hug.

“They will be fine. Dan would let us know if anything was wrong. Plus, if your sister is as strong as you then her and your nephew will be fine.” Harry placed a kiss on your forehead and that seemed to calm you entirely.

“I know you have a busy day tomorrow, so thank you for being here right now.” You leaned back from his hold and gave him a sweet kiss. One that spoke all the gratitude you felt you could not put into words.

“Petal, my schedule is cleared for tomorrow because we ain’t going home till we hold that baby as well as help your sister in any way she needs us.”

Harry and you are not sure how much time passed but you both freeze once you hear a baby cry. You are quick to stand up. Harry is holding onto your hand very tight but at this point you do not even feel it. As soon as you reach the door it swings open to a beautiful sight.

7:25 a.m.

This rocking chair is not the most comfortable but you don’t care because it is where you sit holding your godchild and first nephew. You look over at your sister and could not be more proud of her.

“Hey little guy, I’m going to be in your life forever. I hope you know I love your mommy very much, but after looking at your gorgeous hazel eyes you have took that spot. You and another special man are at the top.” You run a finger across his cheek. He moves a bit to get more comfortable. “I’m surprised your mommy asked us, well more like told us we got to be your godparents. Then she told me a story and it all made sense.”

You took a deep breath to stop yourself from crying. “Now, Nolan this story I promise I’ll tell you when the time is right but the one I’m going to tell you now is how you got your name.”

You had recently been in a slump and although you did not involve your family, your sister knew better with just one phone call. She had gotten you a ticket to L.A. but most specifically a place in Malibu to soak up the sun and relax.

After a morning run, you decided on getting muffins and a smoothie. It was a place that your friend Kim raved about.

Once in line, you saw the strawberry croissant and had to have it but also got four muffins because hey it was vacation.

The person behind you sighed when you bought what looked like the last four muffins. Your heart decided to be nice and told the cashier to bag is separately.

As you waited for you Kiwi-Mango smoothie by the counter the man approached you.

“Did you order the last muffins?” He asked (Never be mean to a lady, Nolan. You’ll go far in life with that.)

“I did but I felt ba-” You started to say before he interrupted you.

“Do you know who I am?” He questioned.

“No, I don’t but I do know you are rude” You paused to look at him. “You don’t even let me finish my sentences.”

“Listen girl, I’ll-”

“Woah, I’m sorry for my friend. Hope he didn’t bother you too much.” You look behind you to see beautiful green eyes.

“Thanks for the apology, but all I wanted you to know was that the muffins were yours. I wanted to be generous but that bit me in the ass.” You stepped closer to the counter grabbed your smoothie and pastry and bid them goodbye.

Walking to the car you were stopped. Harry followed you out because he can’t believe his friend was rude to such a generous and beautiful person.

“Hey wait, can I make it up to you?” Harry questions.

“That’s sweet and all, but aren’t you in L.A. to film a movie.”

Harry looked at you with a smirk. “Keeping tabs on me, love?”

“Tell your friend not to wear his badge everywhere it draws attention.”

Harry’s smirk falters, “Let me take you out, love.”

You look at Harry not wanting to say no but also not having the power to say yes.

“I doubt Nolan gives you time to date with the busy schedule.”

Harry finally gives you a real dimpled smile. “He will understand if it has to do with true love.”

“Cute line rockstar. Very cliché.” Harry lets out a loud laugh.

“Jokes aside, you are probably too good for me. Let me prove myself to you, muffin girl.” Harry grins holding out his hand.

You reach over and connect your hands. “Let’s do this rockstar.”

Hand in hand, your lives were never the same after that day. It all started because of muffins and Christopher Nolan.

“Now Harry and I should have named our first child after Nolan, but your momma likes telling stories of my life so she picked that one.” You looked around the room and saw Maggie and Dan still sleeping. You did not see Harry and had enough of sitting so you got up. You didn’t want to put him down so you swayed back and forth.

Harry was walking back in the room but stopped just outside the door when he heard you telling the little guy a story. He slowly pushed it open and seeing you in that rocking chair looking at the baby with so much love, he couldn’t help but crave for a baby of his own.

Harry’s lovie was a natural and he could not wait to get married so that they could start a family soon. He walked in and knew that no matter what you would always be his to love.

“Lovie” Harry whispered.

You snapped your head to your fiance holding your tea and smiled at him.

“Yes, H?”

“I want to have a family with you.” Once Harry spoke the words out loud he let the tears run down his face.

“Oh bubby,” You set Nolan down in his little bed and made sure he did not fuss before you turned to Harry. “I can’t wait till we add additions to the family. First, you must make me a Styles before we go making one.” You told him honestly.

“We get married in a year. I don’t want to wait that long.” He whined.

“Harry you picked the date. I’d marry you tomorrow if you wanted.” You told him honestly hugging him tightly.

“Well, let's get married at the end of this month.” Harry smiled

“Tomorrow start planning because in twenty days the month ends.” You told Harry.

Harry nodded and couldn't help but pick you up and spin you around because he could not shout his emotions due to the sleeping family.

You sealed the deal with a kiss so filled with love you thought you could faint.

There in room 308 Harry and Y/N decided that starting a family was the next step to take in their life.

Feed back is appreciated

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry x reader #fluff #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles x you

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boogiewrites · 6 years

Text

Choking On Sapphires 19

Title & Song: Show Me

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Word Count: 1800+

Summary: Genevieve is a force to be reckoned with. An intelligent, independent and brutal businesswoman. She’s been intrigued by Alfie since she met him. But where will she draw the line between business and pleasure now that they are working so closely together? The way Alfie chooses to celebrate a personal milestone catches Gen off guard.

Warnings/Tags: Language. Fluff.

A/N: Every chapter of this story will have a song to work as the title and as a soundtrack. Chapter song is Show Me by Dan Auerbach.

Positive feedback is MUCH appreciated! Reblogs, likes and comments feed this artist to write more!

My Masterlist. (Includes Parts 1-18)

Your yawn and very noisy stretch are interrupted by a newspaper hitting you as it's tossed onto the table next to you.

"You see this?" Alfie asks with a strange urgency, sitting in the chair next to you, tapping one pointed finger, large bauble atop it, at an article you were already familiar with in the Business and Agricultural section of the paper.

You settle your hands back in your lap, nodding at him slowly with sleepy eyes. "Mmm Hmm." you say with a bird-like melodic delivery, a pleasant expression on your face. The medicine you'd been given by the doctor had left you sleeping your life away like a cat. Much like an actual kitten, lying about and looking fuzzy and delicate just the same with your unkempt hair and loose dresses.

"How long have you known?" he exclaims, his hand motioning at you with an attitude.

"I had assumed as much after I persuaded my biggest competitor to sell me their business." you look over at him, shoulders slumped and face slightly dazed from sleep and medication.

"This isn't something you'd think to share?" his chin drops, inquiring with words and the look in his eyes.

You shrug, your mouth in a thoughtful pouted pose. "I suppose...since I did the work it didn't feel like a big deal. My day to day hasn't changed drastically since." you shrug. "It's easy to fall back and forget such things when you're under the influence of heavy medication," you say with a slight shake of your head in elaboration. "Didn't want to go braggin' anyway. I saw the article came out but I've been down so I haven't been up for celebrating in my usual manner." you explain, face back to warm and easy going as it swings back his way.

"Number one producer and seller in all of fuckin' London is something you can brag about dear. Especially to me. I mea I'm fuckin' impressed." he admits, his hands moving at you in praise. As he speaks, a smile slowly grows across your face.

"You are?" your face shifts into a bashful expression he's not seen before. The reactionary and less thoughtful Gen was becoming something he's very aware that he'll miss once you healed up and you weren't a kitten version of your usual jungle cat form. Even if the medicine had made you so out of it he'd seen you walk straight into a door frame, then later into a bust in the hallway and apologizing to both after the fact, looking adorably confused and bewildered before he'd contained his laughter to swoop in and help you.

"Of course I am! Aren't you?" he almost shouts, a warm smile on his face, eyes wide and brows raised at you as his faces leaned closer to yours with an expression of genuine care for your thoughts on the subject.

You look down as a smile hits your lips. It spreads and you look back over, biting your lip before admitting with a drawn-out "Yeah."

"'Course you are. You should be, sweetheart." he holds your chin gently as he speaks purposely at you. "Shame you're hurt," he says, chewing the inside of his cheek for a moment in thought before his eyes return to you. He retreats his hand. You're doe-eyed and still, sitting, slouched and soft in your big plush chair. "Since this calls for a celebration 'n all," he says with his grumpy thinking face. "Can't smoke cigars. Don't want ya coughin' and breakin' in half, do we?" he muses, his hand patting yours.

"If I'm still on top once I'm healed, perhaps?" you suggest with a slow chuckle, your eyes blinking slowly as the sweet smile of your pride lingered on your lips.

"I'll figure somefin' out." he nods, looking around the room.

"You don't have to Alf." you say, your nose scrunched, head shaking subtly at his fussing.

"I know I don't gotta but I wanna, so I'm gonna. Yeah?" he says definitively with a playful nod and expression.

"Sounds like you." you say with an almost dumb laugh that moves your chest when you raise your shoulders to accompany a teasing, cheesy smile. ----------------------------- Alfie has been gone for over a week. Thankfully for both of you, he returns in time for the weeks Shabbat and you get to spend the entire evening catching up. He set bottles of wine down on the dinner table when he'd rolled in to join everyone.

"Lad at the counter thought I was mad for ordering nothin' but lavender." he explains, shaking his head as the familiar brown paper crinkles under your hands and the smell hits your nose and you let out a small moan at the olfactory triggered memories. "But you talk about that French lavender from ya home being so much better than ours here and well, I just had to bring you home some, dinnit I?" his head is tilted, his most dashing, charming expression leaned in close to your reluctantly impressed one.

You kiss his cheek and he seems thoroughly pleased with himself from the grin he's directing at you. "Thank you, Alfie." you go back to a pleasant closed mouth smile. "They're perfect, ya big sweetie." you softly sigh as you hold the bouquet like a baby.

You saw him tucked away with Aggie in the scullery, giving her a bottle of some alcohol she couldn't find around here and a small book. She practically swooned and kissed his cheek, patting his face and you knew you wouldn't hear the end of what a wonderful husband and provider Alfie would make for at least the next week.

Now you're sitting on his bed in his room, discussing the pleasure side of his trip, as he seems like he felt a bit chatty about it. Maybe it was the combination of wine and tiredness. He's asked you if you'd had the meals he'd had on his trip before and if you'd seen a particular type of flower he'd seen because they were "bloody everywhere" as he exclaimed. As you yawn, he clasps his hands together and turns to a trunk and brings out a box.

"I got ya somefing." he announces, his head dipping as he approached you to sit next to you on the bed.

You don't respond, you just face him with a very endearing smile.

"I happened to be in a jewelry shop, yeah?" he side-eyes you with a cheeky grin as he sees you bite the bait he's set with vigor. "I know you weren't up for celebratin' but I saw this and knew it were put in my path so it'd find it's way to you, eh?" he beams at you, the charm coming from his genuine enthusiasm instead of wolfish smiles.

You barely suppress your excitement and it doesn't go unnoticed by him. You place the box in your lap and bite your lip in anticipation as you lift the lid of the black silk covered box. Inside sits a necklace. A delicate gold linked chain, holding a gemstone encrusted bee. "Alfie..." you say breathlessly, your mouth open and your hand to your chest, not being capable of hiding the lust in your wide eyes. The body and legs made of a gold, textured and painted with shimmer that caught the light in small starbursts. A striped thorax sits underneath diamond encrusted, delicate wire wings, it's head tipped in large faceted emerald eyes. "Are you fucking serious?" you inquire with an open mouth, not looking at him.

"I saw it and I knew it was meant to be yours. The timing couldn't of better, yeah?" he pulls the lid back so he can see the piece more clearly. "Couldn't leave without it, could I?" his face beaming down at you, still wide-eyed over the gift.

"This is..." you sigh out in a huff. "It's perfect." you place the pendant in your palm and whine at the heaviness of it. How expensive was this thing? Did he steal it? Did it matter? "It's more than a necklace, it's a work of art." you practically moan. "I know gifts can act as proposals in your religion," you dip your voice and layer it in tease as you smile suggestively at him. "Are you trying to seduce me with this?" you accuse with a smirk, lifting your eyes to his.

"'Course not, Genevieve." he says with an exaggerated head shake and frowns with an animated insistence. "The thought has not crossed my mind," he says with a dismissive hand gesture that moves to his chin, drawing your attention to his now mischievous grin. "Not no more than five, ten times." he adds in a smug tone.

Your expression shifts to match his mischievousness. "Clever, cheeky, charmer, you." you say scrunching your nose at him in a laugh. "I thought the number of times would be much higher, honestly." you tease, looking back at the bee, distraction appears in your eyes again quickly.

"I've wondered what this looks like on you for a week now, c'mon." he says with a chuckle, taking it from you and standing. You move to the mirror on a vanity in his room. He stands out of frame after clasping the necklace shut for you, his arms across his chest, one hand rubbing his beard. "I'm so good at what I do I amaze even myself." he says with a nod of pride.

"It's bloody brilliant." you say, your posture correct, your fingers delicately dragging across your chest and shoulders as you look at the piece.

"It was made for ya, sweetheart." he insists with a shake of his head.

"I have to plan an outfit around this." you state with laid-back enthusiasm, holding up parts of your hair, already planning hairstyles. "Fuck me, now I have to go to these posh business events and show it off, don't I?" you say it like it's a bad thing but you have a cheeky smile on your face. "I have a portrait painting coming up soon I might just wear this." you say, leaning back, impressed by your own idea. "Ohhh." you express your enjoyment of the idea. "That would look so good in my office." you state with hunger in your words. You swing your face towards Alfie, who is biting the tip of his thumb at you. "Chime in anytime, Solomons." you laugh and rest your hands on your waist in a pose.

"I'm happy that you're happy with it Genevieve." he says with a dashing expression. "You look a proper titled Lady now, don't ya? Well suited since ya runnin' London and all now, eh?" he gives you a wink, his hands rubbing your arms as his face nears your shoulder. You roll your eyes at the playful suggestion. "It couldn't look better on anyone else." he voice border lining sweet and predatory, his taller form framing yours in the mirror as you bask in the high of expensive gifts and personal attention as he took in the sight of you. The look in his eyes holds the same fondness that yours did for the image reflected in the mirror. Your gazes meet abruptly, causing an unexpected connection in the tension filled moments. Neither of you prove brave enough to hold the stare for very long.

Pt 20 No You Girls

Tags! Let me know if you’d like to be added or dropped! Thanks!

@fangirlfreakingout @jaegeeeeer @cosettewinchester @lookuptheskyisfalling-blog @brianaisasongbird @cry5t4l-w4rri0r @iliveonchocolateandnetflix @jess2464 @hardygal69 @thegarrisonpublichouse @a-flock-of-angry-pigeons @pootle@negansdirtygirl22 @musingsby-night @wtf-is-wrong-with-this

#ChokingOnSapphires #Alfie Solomons #boogiewrites #Peaky Blinders #Alfie Solomons x OFC #Alfie Solomons x Reader #Alfie Solomons x reader fluff #alfie solomons x ofc fluff #alfie solomons fluff #Alfie Solomons Fanfic #alfie solomons fan fiction #alfie solomons fic #alfie solomons fan fic #peaky blinders fic #peaky blinders au #alfie solomons au #alfie solomons slow burn #alfie solomons smut #peaky blinders fan fiction

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drycerealthief · 6 years

Text

3:53

AO3 Masterlist - “LET’S JUST REACT TO EVERY DOG BREED IT’S THE ONLY CONTENT THAT MATTERS!”

*cut*

Phil has a few thoughts during the filming of a certain Sims video...

Written for @phandomficfests Pet Flash Fest

“LET’S JUST REACT TO EVERY DOG BREED IT’S THE ONLY CONTENT THAT MATTERS!”

“Are we really…?” He responds, unsure if the exaggeratedly determined look on Dan’s face is part of a joke, or just trying to get a reaction out of their audience, or him. Or both.

Probably both.

“You do what you want Phil, but I am looking at EVERY. SINGLE. OPTION.”

Not kidding then, and probably also not going in the video. Right then. He relaxes slightly, leaning in closer to both the computer and the bundle of caffeine-fuelled energy in human form he’s sat next to, grinning fondly when he sees Dan glance at him happily, before knocking their shoulders together gently, even as he fixes his attention back at the screen, scrolling through the menu of potential Howlter dogs. Dan loves dogs. Phil likes dogs well enough, but Dan… Well, Dan LOVES dogs– like, make a beeline for-, crouch down on the pavement-, make a fuss and “Oh Hello! you’re such a good dog, who’s a good dog, yes YOU are, you ARE! Oof! Thank you for the kisses!!” playing and petting whilst Phil awkwardly makes eye contact and smiles at the owner- ADORES dogs of all shapes and sizes. The week they’d recently spent shooting their calendar had been one of their most enjoyable work-dominated weeks they’d had in a long time. Aside from what they’d included in the vlog, Phil had carefully saved another few hours worth of footage of Dan playing, wrestling and cooing over the dogs they’d chosen to include, as well as countless pictures saved on his phone. He couldn’t help it. He’d been so, so happy and carefree in a way he so rarely was when surrounded by strangers, and facing a rigid schedule. Admittedly, they hadn’t had to do much – just change clothes umpteen times, pose, and pull a funny face or smile for the camera, none of which was particularly demanding, but even the inevitable problems that had popped up had seemed so much easier to deal with, almost inconsequential, really, when surrounded by four-legged fluffballs. Well-trained ones too, so Phil’s usual worry that Dan was a snarl away from getting savaged by a strange dog was smothered under about a ton and a half of stinky fish treats. (And Dan’s jokes about if only it was as easy to “train” him into doing things as it was a dog. Thanks, love.) He hadn’t realised that a frown must have flickered across his features, until Dan catches his attention, asking what’s wrong, in a worried tone. “Nothing!” He replies, turning to smile at his boyfriend, determined to turn their attention back to the game, hoping that he’s at least made enough of the right noises at the right times to cover up his daydreaming. Though it quickly becomes apparent that Dan hasn’t fully been paying attention either. “You know, I kind of thought we’d beat Dil to it this time…” he murmurs quietly, frowning slightly. His meaning doesn’t go unnoticed or misunderstood by Phil either, as he moves to slide an arm somewhat awkwardly around his neck and tug him in for a quick hug. “One day, eh? After a house is bought…” He whispers into his ear, playing on the words Dan himself had said in their liveshow just after they’d moved into their current, temporary home, pressing a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s temple, before he’s shoved away on his chair as Dan giggles. “You’re such a sap!” he accuses, still laughing, but at least there’s a smile replacing the frown. That’s why Dan needs a dog, really. Why he loves them all, whether they’re his or not. Phil’s listened to enough stories about Bangy and Colin, anecdotes about daft things and silly escapades Dan’s had with his family dogs whilst growing up, but also equal amounts of stories about how both dogs had just been there with and for him when he wasn’t quite so happy, or happy at all. He’d also seen how devastated Dan had been when his Mum had called to tell him Bangy had died, but also how excited he’d been when she’d phoned to say they had a new member of the family, and how he’d immediately organised train travel for them to go meet the new pet that weekend. He knew that on truly Bad Days before he’d met Phil, sometimes all Dan could force himself to do was make sure that Bangy had been watered and fed whilst the rest of his family had been out at work or school. Also that countless other times, Bangy had accompanied him on walks when he’d just needed to get away. Or he’d lay on Dan’s bed for hours when his human seemingly couldn’t get up and face the outside world, quietly accepting the fingers threading through his fur, and offering comfort with just his presence, or the occasional lick if a hand strayed close enough to his face. Dan’s told Phil all these things and more besides, he knows that knowing that he’s got responsibilities helps Dan tackle his problems, and that sometimes those responsibilities have been the only reason he’s made it through a Bad Day. However much he’s tried to help, however hard he’s tried to beat back the demons lurking in the shadows of Dan's mind, really, at the end of the day it’s Dan’s fight. For now though, he’s winning most of the time. And Phil is so proud, and so thankful that he is. So yeah. Dan loves dogs. And Phil loves Dan. But until they can have certain things themselves, they’re going to live vicariously through their virtual family.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phandom fic fest #phanpets

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seven-oomen · 6 years

Text

Till the end of the line - Chapter eleven

Tony

Pain. Throbbing, pulsing pain all over his body. He tried opening his eyes but they seemed to be glued shut. At least he was laying on a comfortable surface. Probably a hospital bed. He groaned softly and moved his head to rest on the warmth on his right.

“How is he?” He knew that voice from somewhere… Was that cap?

“I think he’s waking up, he’s been stable for the last few hours. That serum they gave him is like a miracle juice.” He knew that voice too, but it wasn’t as easy to identify. Could it be Barnes? Not likely, Barnes wouldn’t dare come that close to him. Would he?

“EXTREMIS. Yeah it is. From what I’ve heard it used to be quite explosive and dangerous. Until Tony improved the formula.”

“Excuse me, what?”

Yeah he was fairly sure that was Barnes. He sounded a little agitated too.

“It’s not dangerous anymore, Buck. Tony fixed it.”

And that definitely was Cap, alright.

“You sure about that?-”

“Course he is-” Tony croaked out, coughing due to his throat feeling bone dry. “I redesigned it.”

“And that automatically means it’s safe?”

He managed to open one eye to glare at Barnes. “You doubting my intellect, Barnes?” Tony frowned and glanced around. Wait a second, what the fuck was Barnes doing in his hospital bed. “Water, please.”

He heard Steve scuffle around and soon enough a straw was offered to him. He sipped from it carefully and sighed in relief as the water re-hydrated his throat.

“What? No. I’m just worried, Tony.”

“Okay. New rule, you, plural, don’t get to call me Tony until you earned it. You will call me Anthony or Stark. Two, get the fuck out of my bed, Barnes. Three, never insult my intellect again.”

Steve spoke up. “Tony I doubt-”

“Shut up, cap.” Tony bit back.

“Hey.” Barnes gently patted the back of his hand as if the man was scolding a goddamn child. What a fucking nerve!

“One, We will call you Anthony or Tony and we will prove to you we can be trusted. Two, you practically pulled me in. Three, I wasn’t insulting you, Tony. I’m worried you’re going to get hurt again. So stop acting like a child and let’s talk about this.”

This absolutely wouldn’t do. The universe was trying to screw him over. That’s what this was. That’s why Barnes and Rogers were his soul mates. There was no other explanation. Stupid Alpha, actually making sense…

“Fine you wanna talk, let’s talk.” Tony snapped, his throat felt scratchy once more and he started coughing profusely.

“Easy, Tony.” Steve started rubbing his back and held the glass of water steady for him.

Fuck he hated this. He didn’t want to feel this dependent on these two Alphas. But his Omega was reveling in their attention. Little fucker was really enjoying their touch and presence and Tony hated that. He didn’t try to fight it though. If you can’t beat ‘em, join them. Right? He didn’t have the energy to fight the Alphas right now.

When his body was finally done coughing Steve guided the straw back to his lips and he obediently drank from it again, letting himself relax against Barnes. He wasn’t enjoying this, just for the record. He was very much against all of this.

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” Barnes suggested softly.

“You mean the night you killed my mother?” That was a very low blow and he knew it. But dammit the man had to pay for that. Brainwashed or not.

“Tony!” Cap sounded appropriately scandalized at least.

Barnes sighed. “No he’s right.”

Woah, wait a second, what? Did he just hear that right?

“I can’t bring her back, Tony. I can only say how incredibly sorry I am that I did that to you… I’m so sorry Tony. If I could undo what I’ve done, I would…”

Fuck, now he felt like a dick. Shit. This wasn’t supposed to happen, he wasn’t ready to accept this, not really. “I’m sure you would.”

Barnes actually looked away for a second and he could see a lonely tear roll down the assassin’s cheek.

“Buck?” Steve carefully reached out to the other Alpha.

“I’m fine, Stevie.”

He really wasn’t. That much was obvious. Goddammit.

“You want to hear about the twins?” He didn’t really want to start on what had happened in the VAULT.

He shivered a little, his left side actually started feeling a little chilly. Steve seemed to notice though and set the glass of water aside for now. The Alpha walked around the bed and sat down on Tony’s left side. “Mind if I join in?”

“Get the hell in here, I’m cold.”

It actually drew a chuckle from Barnes. “Guess that answers that question?”

Steve chuckled as well and kicked off his shoes, climbing in to carefully snuggle up against the Omega. Tony hummed in content, he was warm on all sides and the heat soothed his painful body. Not to mention that it was quite… interesting to be sandwiched in between two super soldiers.

“Anyway, twins.” Tony cleared his throat. “I first found out about them when I was thirty two…”

June 5th, 2002

“I’m sorry, mister Stark.” The doctor looked at him with great sympathy, but it barely registered in Tony’s mind. Pregnant? At thirty two years old that was no small feat…

“No, no I can’t be pregnant.” Tony muttered, shaking his head as he got up and paced through the small office.

“Tony, darling, please sit down.” Aunt Peggy gently tried to guide him back to his seat.

“No, goddammit! No! I’m not pregnant! You’re a fraud! I can’t be pregnant!”

“Tony, calm down. This isn’t good for the baby.”

“I’m not fucking pregnant!” He screamed, he could feel a vein on his forehead throbbing as anger and denial coursed through him. He felt a sharp pain in his abdomen and he doubled over in distress, clutching his stomach. It was the first time he felt fear for anything but himself. What if he was pregnant and he was losing the baby due to his stubborn nature… He couldn’t live with that.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely positive, mister Stark…”

Tony

The Omega chuckled. “That’s how I found out. Aunt Peggy wouldn’t stop fussing over me for days.”

“Did she knew them?” Steve asked softly.

“Aunt Peg?”

He felt Steve nod against his back.

“Yeah, she knew them.” He smiled sadly, “They’ve called her Nana all their lives. All of the kids. She was there when Oliver, Thea and Yalina were born. She was even there when I picked up Harvey and Laura from their foster family. Even though Uncle Dan died not hours earlier.”

He felt Barnes exhale softly before his gentle breathing resumed. “What were they like? Oliver, Thea and Yalina, you know, when they were little.”

Tony felt a flutter of warmth travel through him, though he pushed it down quickly. He was just doing this to stay warm, they weren’t bonding. Nope, no such thing. Yet he couldn’t help but smile gently.

“Oliver was so quiet, he didn’t cry when he was born. Not a single sound escaped him. Freaked everybody out with his silence. And then Maria, who screamed her head off until she was right next to her brother again. The two of them have always been inseparable. Oliver’s an artist, loves to draw, Thea doesn’t have the patience but she loves to be active. I could barely keep up with her when she was a toddler. Oliver, he was easy, I’d give him crayons and some paper and he’d be occupied for hours. But Thea?”

He chuckled.

“She made me run around the mansion and tower so many freaking times I’ve never had to visit a gym in almost fourteen years.”

Steve laughed at that. “That sounds just like you, Buck.”

“You kidding me, punk? You were more trouble than I ever was.” James grinned. “You know, I’ve been wondering. The story Rhodes told us, that you were kidnapped and inseminated… is all of that-?”

He sighed and nodded. He’d have a stern word with Rhodey after all this, but he couldn’t really blame his best friend either. Tony understood why Rhodey had broken his promise.

“As fucked up as it is, yeah, it’s all true. I was captured, released, found out I was pregnant, carried them, gave birth. Been raising them all this time. But it’s true, I was captured and inseminated… and now I know it was Ross who ordered it all.”

Both Steve and James froze up at those words. “What?”

He swallowed heavily and nodded. “Yeah, Ross told me he sanctioned the procedure. Damn bastard had it all planned out. I believe he called the twins, perfect little weapons of mass destruction. Thank god he never got to use them as such.”

“They’re not.” Steve muttered. “They never were.”

James nodded. “Steve’s right. They’ve never been weapons. You kept them from becoming that, Tony.”

It was more praise than he felt he deserved. He just raised his kids the way he thought was right.

“You want to hear about Yalina?”

James smiled a very gentle smile, which was a little weird. Did, did he feel parental over his little girl? Nah, that couldn’t be right. Alphas hardly ever felt parental over a child that wasn’t theirs. He doubted James Buchanan Barnes was any different.

“Yeah, tell us all about her.”

“It was three months before I became Iron Man. I was going through the desert of Afghanistan in a convoy, just made a major weapons deal. Next thing I know we’re attacked and I’m forced to leave cover. I hide behind this rock, try to use my phone. Then a grenade with literally my name on it lands next to me and goes off. There’s shrapnel all in my chest, I’m miles away from medical facilities and I think… this is it. I’m dying. Next thing I know I wake up in a cave with a car battery hooked up to a magnet in my chest. The Alpha doctor who saved my life is there too, he keeps me alive during the next few weeks and then one day my heat starts…”

He let those words sink in for a minute before continuing.

“I didn’t want to be raped by the Ten Rings leaders, not by terrorists… So I beg the doctor to help me through my heat. After a little while he agrees, Yinsen and I lay together and the next morning my heat’s already disappearing. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out I was pregnant. I became Iron Man while carrying his baby, after he gave his life just so I could escape Afghanistan. So in order to honor him, I named my baby Yalina. After Yinsen’s sister.”

“Jesus, Tony…” Steve wrapped his arms around him and cuddled closer, basically pressing him into James.

“I’m sorry..” James whispered, running his hand through Tony’s hair.

“I’m not. He gave me Lina, I can’t think of a better gift. I just wish I could’ve protected her brother…” A sob escaped him, causing the Alphas to cuddle closer, wrapping him in their warmth.

“Ross executed him because I refused to give up the twins’ location. In the end it didn’t matter, he still found them. Ahmed died for nothing, Yinsen’s oldest pup died for nothing.” He cried into James’s chest.

“You’re wrong.” James gently lifted Tony’s chin up. “He died protecting his sister. He died for what he believed in. Ahmed’s a hero, and he will be remembered as such. If this Yinsen is as noble as you say he was, he would’ve been proud of his son and of you. The two of you protected his little girl.”

“Buck’s right. Yinsen would’ve understood.”

He wiped away his tears and sniffled a little. He didn’t want to tell them any of these things but the words just kept coming. He shouldn’t feel this safe or comfortable around them, he shouldn’t feel any of this but he did. He did and he hated it.

A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts and the three of them looked up to see Coulson in the doorway.

“It’s time.”

#stuckony #mpreg #aboverse #alpha steve #alpha bucky #omega tony

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loveinthebones · 6 years

Text

can’t you see i’m falling apart, love (want to fall together?)

Word Count: ~7,247 (I actually don’t know since I’m getting a different number on my document. Weird.)

Chapter Summary: He was not expecting the florist with the tricolored eyes but he can't say that he's not taken with him.

Read it on AO3

Check out the art and the artist for this!

Also our lovely beta.

Part Two: Anger (Dan)

“Oh my god.” The high-pitched cadence of disgust made him stir, curling into a curved ‘C’ against the warmth radiating from his right side. “Dan. Your breath reeks.” There were feather-light touches fluttering across the top of his head and he turned his head to trap the hand under his cheek.

“Wha’ time ‘s it?” Dan’s words slurred as his still foggy brain fought against the weight of grogginess threatening to drag him under, but he forced his body to uncurl. “Ruthie?”

“It’s only six-thirty in the morning,” Ruth answered with a suppressed giggle, burying her face into the juncture between his shoulder and neck. “You still have time to sleep, babe.” The mint of her toothpaste and the light, airy perfume she wore wafted around him and Dan grabbed her gently to nuzzle her cheek aggressively as she squealed.

“Dan! I have an audition!” She admonished, but she made no move to pull away from his embrace. “We all can’t sleep until noon, Mr. YouTuber.” Dan merely snuffled exaggeratedly into her ear and grinned as she screeched, wiggling finally.

“Hey, hey,” Dan teased, voice deep and gravelly. “We can’t all be adorable turnips. I can’t rely on my good looks.”

“Of course not,” Ruth parried easily, and he could practically see the circular motion of her eyes, still hidden in her preferred spot. “You got there on talent and not these--” She pulled away to poke at where his cheek caved in, making him smile wider, and deepening his dimple as if to prove her point. “Absolutely adorable-- just- fuck your dimples.”

Dan shook his head before giving Ruth a small peck on her lips, brushing away choppy bright ginger locks from her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, but you’re going to make me late!” Ruth grumbled good naturedly, leaning forward to brush her lips against his in a series of playful, quick pecks. “You can go back to bed but don’t forget Peej needed you for something today.”

Dan hummed in agreement, eyes already heavy and sliding shut but he made sure to murmur:

“I love you.”

“I love you,” Ruth echoed as he felt the bed shift and heard the muted thumps of footsteps across the carpet. “Don’t get into too much trouble.”

The next time Dan was pulled from dreamland was infinitely less pleasant.

He squished his face into his black-and-grey checkered pillow forcefully, determinedly ignoring the shrill, incessant loud notes of his mobile’s ringtone. He willed his brain to cling to the fuzzy haziness of sleep as their bedroom went blissfully silent, shifting to cradle his pillow between his arms since he was on his stomach.

That’s better.

He had stayed up until four a.m. attempting to film a video. He had drug the tripod to the office (nearly breaking the domed hallway light in the process) and sat to fiddle with the camera listlessly, fumbling over the miniature screen that showed himself. He had done numerous takes but the script hadn’t been flowing as well as he hoped- and he kept his volume as quiet as possible since Ruth had gone to bed early to be rested for her audition.

Dan should remember to get the foam tiles for the wall…

He jolted as his phone rang again before grabbing it to wedge it between his ear and the fluff of his pillow reluctantly.

“Hello?” Dan hissed, words muffled and distorted but still tinged with his annoyance.

“Hey!” PJ’s greeting was playful and warm with affection, but Dan squinted as there was also a hint of mischief hidden in the single phrase. “Get up!”

“I hate you,” Dan said simply before flopping onto his back, blinking to rid his eyelids of the gritty feeling that was making his nerves frazzle before he had even set foot out of bed. “Why am I getting up?” Even as he whined slightly, he swung his legs so he could stand, rolling his neck carefully so he didn’t accidentally disconnect the call.

“Dan, you’re the one who pleaded with me to help you,” PJ reminded him, and Dan could hear the vocal eyeroll as his friend continued, “As a matter of fact, your exact words were--”

“I am shit at romance,” Dan deadpanned, raising his eyes to the ceiling and letting his eyes take in the blank expanse of white for a bit before his shoulders slumped. “I really am, Peej and I want…”

“So you are going to propose, then?” PJ pried lightly and Dan heard the scratch of the phone being shuffled before a whoosh of breath crashed through the receiver.

“I…” Dan sighed, letting his eyes drift away from the ceiling finally, as he sat on the edge of his mattress. He didn’t know how to even begin to explain what was going through his mind as it was a jumble of different tendrils of thoughts twisting and tangling with each other- some realistic and cautious and others hopeful and bright and still others that were better left in the recesses of his consciousness. “I mean- we have only been together a year but we just- click, Peej. We are able to exist together and move around each other without it feeling like it is hindering our own activities. Ruth is so lovely…” Dan trailed off, his lips turned up in the corners before they fell. “And I’m not getting any younger.”

“You’re only twenty-two, Dan,” PJ assured him, and Dan felt a pang of gratitude for the man on the other end of the phone call. “I’d hardly call that old.”

“I’m almost a quarter way to death,” Dan joked, running a hand through the fringe that had been pushed off his forehead and wincing as his fingers snagged in the slight curls.

“That reminds me!” PJ gasped and Dan raised an eyebrow.

What could his morbid joke have jogged in his friend’s brain that had him sounding like a mix between an excited puppy and an older sibling scolding their younger counterpart?

“I heard there was a convention? In the States?” PJ was guessing- Dan could tell by the slight drag of the vowels on the last words of each statement- but it didn’t deter him from hitting Dan with two more questions that left him a bit off-kilter. “Why didn’t you go? Isn’t it a big deal?”

“Er…”

So eloquent.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go but he also hadn’t been inclined to go either. It was always a rush to meet his subscribers and place faces with the more positive comments on his videos but sometimes…

Sometimes, he rubbed them the wrong way in person. Playfully biting and jabbing teases flowed from his lips easily and while most would merely laugh or (if they were quick on their feet) fire a light jab back... some would curl into themselves and not say a thing, which would leave him fumbling awkwardly with their phone or stuttering out apologies.

Some would stare at him blankly.

That was worse.

Not to mention…

“Where’s Ruth?”

“Is she okay?”

“Are you guys still together?”

“You’re thinking of VidCon,” Dan corrected absentmindedly before filling his lungs with a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I didn’t go because...well…”

Ruth was resting on her side, chest rising and falling rapidly as she watched him with half-lidded eyes. Sweat was shining on her skin and Dan’s fingers slid through the moisture at the small of her back.

“You should really tie the condom. It’ll leak and we really don’t want to find a laundromat.”

Dan grunted in acknowledgement, tracing spirals contentedly as he watched the way Ruth’s eyelashes fluttered in the soft lamplight and the way she nudged his hip lazily.

“Or sleep in cum.”

Dan was still watching her face- the way her azure eyes roamed his face, lips quirked up in the little permanent half-smile she wore even when it was just them, and the freckles spread across her nose- so he jumped as he felt her hands on him again, taking off the latex shield as gently as she could manage.

A zap went through his chest as he watched her tie the knot and get up on shaky legs to throw away the barrier.

He loves her. Holy fuck.

“Make a video with me.” His brain had disconnected from his mouth and the words were out before he could call them back, but Ruth peered over her shoulder, hair wild and untamed, and eyes so, so soft. He could barely breathe as they flashed with a brightness that he had come to recognize, and even as the flippant tone met his ears, he was still gasping for what little oxygen he could get.

“A sex tape? Not a chance. But-” Ruth was blinding as she faced him, open. “I’ll make a vlog with you, sure.”

“I wanted to wait until I could bring Ruth,” Dan confessed, scrunching his toes in the carpet and letting the heat rise to his cheeks without a fuss. “We’ve been making videos and the fans are curious. Ruth doesn’t mind sharing but…”

“I get it,” PJ affirmed genuinely but with a note of inattentiveness. Dan thought that Peej was picturing Sophie, and it was cemented as PJ lowered the volume of his voice so that Dan could barely hear. “Soph hasn’t been on one of my sets yet but we’ve been talking. It’s a big step. Sharing your relationship with the world.”

“Yeah.”

Both of them drifted into silence, and Dan was picturing Ruth with her legs crossed, sitting on a sinking couch cushion on a stage, or Ruth opening her arms to hug fans or the sometimes fleeting look she got when a comment didn’t quite rub her the right way and Dan couldn’t help but wonder if they should be sharing the little they did.

“But, seriously,” PJ was talking again, and his inflection rose with his previous joviality and trouble-making undertone. “Get up. This florist has amazing flowers and don’t get Ruth geraniums!”

“Why not?!” Dan yelped, crossing his arms across his chest with a scowl. “They are pretty!”

“You’re basically calling Ruth stupid,” PJ snickered, and Dan let his arms fall to his sides as his mouth dropped.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. You need to meet this guy. He seems like he could really help you.”

“This is a horrible idea,” Dan muttered as he followed a step behind PJ on the trail, fidgeting with the zip on the left shoulder of his shirt. “A stupid, terrible idea.”

“You still haven’t gotten used to being recognized,” PJ sounded tired. He leaned his neck to one side before rolling it to the other. He rammed his palm into Dan’s upper arm, watching as the other stumbled, before shaking his head slowly. “It’ll get better.”

“If you say so.” Dan wasn’t entirely convinced but he let it go as the “It’s so yellow, Dan. It’s practically neon!” van came into view and raised an eyebrow at Peej, lips pressed together and gathered in one corner to say, “What gives?” without opening his mouth.

The van was, indeed, very bright, and the aqua screen cover had been pulled out. Dan had to admit that it was very...cute. There were various wooden shelves scattered about in close proximity to the van with a few carefully positioned tables but they were completely empty.

The only plant that Dan could spy was the long, slim leaves sticking out the window of the van and he rushed to press his hand to his mouth but it was too late. He brayed with laughter- raw, unbridled hiccuping hyena snorts- as he leaned forward, supporting himself on his knees.

PJ cast his eyes heavenward, fighting a smile as Dan lost his composure before running a hand through his hair.

“Are you done yet?”

“No!--I-” Dan was trying to pull air into his lungs but he couldn’t. “You said--and there’s no--I-”

“Oh! You came back.” A chirpy northern twang interrupted Dan’s unexpected laughing fit and he immediately sank his teeth into his bottom lip to quiet himself, flushing. He shoved against his knees to stand straighter, ruffling his fringe with a quick swipe of his fingers, keeping his gaze on his black shoes. The friendly voice continued, “PJ, right?”

“Yup!” PJ trilled, clapping Dan on the shoulder roughly. “This is my friend! He needs some flower advice but it seems like you aren’t open yet?”

What am I missing?

Dan blinked as he finally lifted his eyes to the other, and he was breathless once more but not from laughing too hard.

The man had his hip propped on the tail light of his van as his pink glove covered hands cradled the wide pot in his hands. His black fringe was pushed up from his forehead by a worn purple and gold sweatband, strands sticking out at awkward angles in some places.

Dan’s tongue seemed to take up too much room in his mouth as the man’s radioactive eyes settled on him a moment before he flashed a charming grin at PJ.

What did PJ say?!

Dan realized that he had no idea but he wasn’t too concerned, tracking the man’s movement as he ambled on unsteady legs to place the pot of different bright stalks of flowers on a light wood table, a sharp breath escaping him as he set it down with care.

“I just had a late start this morning.” The man with the startling eyes spoke, rubbing his hand across his cheek. Dan caught sight of the lace trimming along the cuffs of the gloves.

“Is that lace?” Dan wondered, realizing with a jolt that he had spoken aloud as the man flexed his wrist with an amused quirk of pale pink lips.

They look so smooth. I wonder if he uses lip balm regularly?

Stop it. Stop it.

“Yes, it is actually,” He hummed, tugging on the dirt stained ruffles lightly. “My friend, Chris, bought it for me as a joke a while back.” Dan’s heart stuttered as the other’s lips pulled back and his tongue pressed between his teeth as he grinned. “He told me, ‘Phil! It’s just your color!’ and Louise almost had a fit because she loved them, and Aiden was just laughing like an idiot and…”

His name is Phil.

Dan watched as Phil’s hands moved as he rambled, taking note of the slightly glazed sheen over his eyes. PJ was listening as well, giggling quietly.

Phil seemed to come back to himself and quieted immediately before clearing his throat in apparent embarrassment.

“Sorry,” He apologized, and Dan frowned at the lower, subdued cadence that was reaching his ears. “I got a bit carried away.” Phil kneeled to nudge a lopsided flower stalk to encourage it to sit a bit more center before patting the blooms with a single finger. “Long story short, I wear them to spite him. It works.”

Phil smiled again but his eyes seemed...lackluster and lost.

Dan didn’t like it.

“As long as he knows he’s a right twat,” Dan intoned, stuffing his hands in his pockets with a tiny shrug.

“Dan!” PJ groaned, placing his whole hand over his face.

Dan wasn’t paying attention to his friend but to Phil whose eyes had widened, and he nibbled his lip uncertainly. The slight knot in his chest eased as Phil’s eyes twinkled.

Better.

Dan didn’t want to even begin to consider the thoughts that were crossing his mind so he just let them come and drift away.

“He does. Believe me.” Phil squinted at Dan, studying his face with a warm but critical eye. Dan met his stare without flinching, even as his heartbeat started to flutter at being the center of Phil’s attention. “H...have we met before?”

Oh. I think I would remember meeting you, Mr. Pretty Eyes.

Dan tilted his head at the question, and felt PJ edge closer to his side.

It had been like this since the two of them started gaining popularity in their separate spheres. Dan and PJ had made a late night pact after a particularly distressing encounter with some pushy fans that whenever they went out together, they would help each other escape from curious eyes if need be. It was a good system that had kept PJ sane when the constant attention became too much, and it had helped Dan when trying to film in his dorm at Uni when his friend came to visit.

“I don’t think so,” Dan answered honestly, shaking his head as a response to both Phil’s question and PJ’s silent precautionary advancement. “I don’t get out much.”

“Oh,” Phil sighed, raising his fingers to drum against his mouth. “You look familiar. I just thought I might have seen you somewhere.”

“You might have,” Dan conceded reluctantly, digging the toe of his shoe into the loose dirt as his heart jumped into his throat. He wasn’t sure if it was the stupid impulse to impress the man he had just met- Seriously, brain. What the hell?- or uncertainty that Phil was trying to play him that was fueling his next statement. “I mean...I make videos on the internet for a living--” Dan snapped his mouth shut and clenched his teeth together, cringing.

Oh my god.

He’s going to think I’m a fucking cam boy or something!

PJ’s jaw had dropped, mouth slightly agape. Dan sent a caustic glare toward his friend, mouthing, “You are no help!” to which PJ merely swept his hand out to the side.

“That didn’t come out the way I wanted,” Dan tacked on in a mumble, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Phil didn’t seem put out by his poor wording at all- no raised eyebrow, surprise jerk of any muscles, or scowl.

“Are you a YouTuber, then?”

“How did you--” Dan marveled, cutting himself off to nod. “Yes, I am.”

“Right,” Phil said more to himself and he raised his hands, palms out, at Dan’s arched eyebrow. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way! I just meant you’re pretty enough to be a YouTuber.” Phil’s cheeks immediately started to redden and he lowered his hands to turn back to his van.

The crinkles around Dan’s eyes softened as Phil took quick long loping strides away from him. PJ elbowed him in the side with barely contained impishness, even and glistening white teeth bared.

“Say anything, I will deck you,” Dan threatened in a whisper and PJ’s grin widened before he inclined his head in the direction of Phil.

“You are pretty, Daniel,” PJ singsonged in a near inaudible volume before he placed his hands on his hips. He kept his voice to its soundless pitch. “Seriously. It could be worse- he’s a handsome lad.”

Dan couldn’t deny that. Phil had swung his leg up to lean on his knee as he slid pots with different flowers away from him to angle himself over the short plants. His arse looked fabulous in his tight black skinny jeans and were his pants…

Don’t look!

Dan’s face was on fire as he snapped his attention back to Peej.

He was taken by surprise when PJ flung his arm around his neck to drag him into a loose headlock, cackling. Phil peered over his shoulder for a moment at the two of them before he returned with a pot of geraniums cradled against his chest and a yellow legal pad in his right hand.

“If I remember correctly,” Phil set the container down on the table beside the only pot he had managed to set up, tossing the pad carelessly on the table. “You were looking at the geraniums, yeah?”

“Yeah,” PJ managed, shaking with the effort to keep his bubbling mirth under control. “It was Dan’s idea but when I heard the meaning…”

Dan shrugged PJ’s arm off peevishly as his eyes shot daggers at his friend. “They are pretty!”

“They are.” Phil reached out to Dan before seeming to think better of it, popping out a knee so he was leaning slightly to the left, as he brought his hand back to pet the geraniums on the table between them. “In the Victorian Era, though, they meant stupidity. There are other meanings but that is the most common that is still accepted today.”

“I didn’t know that.” Dan kept his reply as gentle as he could as Phil continued to caress the flowers like a doting owner would stroke their lazy cat who was lounging in the sunlight. “What would you recommend for a progressing relationship?”

“It depends. As in a transition from friends to lovers?”

“No. Just a step into deeper commitment.” Dan watched Phil’s eye drift upwards for a moment before pulling the paper he had brought with him earlier.

“Let’s try this…what’s your favorite color?” Phil asked, gazing up at Dan through his fringe.

“What? Why?” Dan blurted out in confusion and yelped as he staggered forward, planting his palms on the table’s edge from PJ’s shove.

“Let the man work his magic, Dan!”

Dan was about to retort when he realized that he was tipped forward into Phil’s space and that those eyes were raised to his, the darkness of his pupils seemingly larger. Dan’s words died in his throat, taking in the sunlight reflecting in slight blue streaks of Phil’s hair and how his pale skin was flushed lightly. How his eyes seemed to be a supernova- tendrils of yellow lightning snaking through the blue and flecks of green scattered in the space- and…

You’re being horribly poetic.

“You look pretty enough to be a faerie,” Dan pointed out softly, fingers releasing the edge he had started gripping for dear life (when did that happen?) to curl under his palms. Phil blinked harshly at his words while Dan leaned back, straightening his spine. “I mean…” Dan crossed his arms across his chest tightly.

Stupid, stupid, stupid...

“An elf.” Phil’s words were light and Dan caught sight of the twitching corners of his mouth as he focused on his paper, scratching the nub of his pen in an idle pattern as he spoke. “If you must associate me with something that is tied to plants, then I’m an elf.” Phil looked up then to pin him with a small secretive simper and Dan took a step back reflexively. “Because reasons.”

“...What even is this conversation?” Dan breathed, rubbing his sweaty palm on his jeans without a thought as a high, shaky laugh escaped his lips.

“I was wondering the same thing…” PJ’s eyes skimmed over Dan and then Phil, raising his thumb and pointer finger to curl around his chin with a thoughtful hum.

Dan shuffled further away from the florist. Phil bowed his head over the papers, reaching to push his fringe up slightly. His fingers brushed the headband.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Phil remarked quietly. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Oh, um, I don’t really have one favorite?”

It was true. He liked a couple of different colors despite Ruth’s insisting that black was his favorite because it spanned most of his wardrobe. There was something about the brightness of white that drew him...the cleanness of a hue that seemed unblemished, something to be filled with whatever you chose but warm earthy tones reminded him of fall and sinking into large sweaters without worrying about what other onlookers would think and being able to bundle his always chilly fingers.

“That’s okay,” Phil’s words broke through his reverie. “You can say more than one.”

Gold was striking to him and it wasn’t helping that Phil’s eyes had a bit mixed in that flashed brightly when the sunlight was at this angle. Purple was lovely and reminded him of Ruth, of the three month period that there was bright orchid along the last three inches of her hair and all over the tiles of the shower.

(There were still stains but they had faded.)

Dan didn’t realize he was smiling as he began listing: “White, gold, earthy colors...and purple. Purple is cool.”

Phil’s pen stopped moving and he tapped the list with his pointer finger. “I can work with this list. If you want to come back in a couple of hours, I’ll have a bouquet. Or tomorrow, if that fits your schedule better…” Phil trailed off before he carried on in a more polite tone. “Sir.”

“Dan. I’m Dan,” Dan immediately corrected with a relaxed smile. “We’ve called each other pretty. I think you can call me by my first name.”

“Phil.” Phil extended his hand and Dan took it, feeling a tiny current tingling along his skin. Phil tilted his head with a small smile. “Nice to meet you.”

“Dan!” Ruth dropped her large gray purse on the ground as she walked through their door, making a beeline for him and flinging herself into his arms. Dan flinched before laying his arms across her back, pulling her to him tightly, and curling his six-foot three frame around her much smaller five foot four body.

Ruth nudged his knees with her hip to situate herself more comfortably between them, bringing both her hands to card through his hair.

“How was your audition, babe?” Dan asked, raising his chin from where it had settled on the top of Ruth’s head. He noticed the way her lipstick had travelled slightly upwards, just a bit above the top of her heart-shaped lips and brought a hand to cradle her cheek. “That bad, huh?”

“Yeah…” Ruth sighed, exposing the lipstick that clung to the bottom of her front two teeth.

So, she had been biting her lip.

Dan pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Their loss. They missed out on an acting genius.”

Ruth didn’t say a word, still stroking his hair, before she broke into an immense euphoric grin. Dan couldn’t help the way his mouth parted slightly as he furrowed his brows in confusion.

“What?”

“They didn’t.” Ruth tightened her hold on the strands in her grasp gently.

“They didn’t...what?”

“They didn’t lose an acting genius…”

The words registered in his sluggish mind before his own lips stretched into a smile, letting his arms fall lower, encircling Ruth’s waist.

“Oh?” He feigned cluelessness, playing along. She hadn’t been biting her lip as a show of her anxiety then but because she was terrible at not blurting out news as soon as she walked in the door.

“Because they liked me so much that I’m getting a minor role! In multiple episodes!” Ruth exploded happily, muscles twitching with excitement. She squirmed as he sprang from the armchair to swing her upwards.

“Daniel!” Ruth shrieked as the points of her heels dangled above the carpet. “You need to be careful or--”

The carpet beneath his feet seemed to sway. He watched the walls jerk to the side and heard his girlfriend cry out before he was pressed against the soft springiness of the carpet, groaning. He couldn’t breathe so he wrenched his head to the side, closing his eyes.

There was only darkness in his vision but he could still feel the world spinning under him.

Ruth toed off her heels from where she had been dropped before crawling over to Dan, rubbing a palm between his shoulder blades slowly.

“You got up too fast.” The words were familiar on Ruth’s tongue and dripping with fondness as she scooted even closer on her bum, crossing her legs. “Do you want to lay your head on my lap or are you still dizzy?”

“Dizzy.” Dan puffed and adding: “I feel like a fucking logged tree.”

“Yay Orthostatic Hypotension.” Ruth chimed in with a perky sardonic lilt. She had ceased the sliding motion of her hand but her fingers tapped a random pattern in the space between Dan’s scapulas. “How long have you been in the chair?”

Dan grunted in response. Ruth took it as the “I lost track of time.” it most likely meant and giggled.

“You jumped when I hugged you. You looked like you were thinking…” Dan focused on the gentle pitter patter against his skin as she spoke, forcing himself to inhale slowly through his nose. He choked on his own spit as she continued: “You’re not having another crisis, are you? Should I be worried?”

Dan wasn’t sure how to respond. He didn’t want to say, “Yes.” because this wasn’t his normal spiralling into a series of questions concerning the value of his life in the grand scheme of the eternal timeline of humanity that turned into questioning whether humankind was important at all. This wasn’t him pacing restlessly at an odd hour. This wasn’t him climbing into bed to clutch at a sleep-warmed Ruth, breathing in stuttering heaves.

This was something else entirely but it was a something that wouldn’t let the word, “No.” spill from his vocal cords.

This was sitting in silence, beside himself and analyzing his reactions. This was picturing Phil’s tricolored eyes and feeling phantom fingers skimming along his spine that made him shiver. This was feeling the tickle of butterfly wings in his tummy and they were angry. This was seeing Phil’s pupils open as he looked at him and catching a flash of something before a dark weight of something melancholy overpowered it.

It was hearing PJ’s disbelieving but cautious tone.

“If I didn’t know you, Dan, I would think you have a crush.”

Dan hadn’t said a word to his friend but after sitting down for a while to think about what this was, he came to a startling conclusion.

He was attracted to Phil.

Dan opened his eyes, turning on his side to make sure that the room was stationary before swinging his body so he could lay his head in Ruth’s lap. She peered at him with a tenderness that had his chest clenching and he reached up to hold both of her cheeks between his hands. Her hair tickled him but he didn’t mind, relaxing at the unconcealed affection.

“I met a boy today,” He murmured and the devilishness that never fully left her lips quirked the corners higher. “While I was out with Peej.”

“Yeah?” She hummed, leaning down so she was invading his space even more. “He must be special if you’re telling me. Is he a subscriber?”

“I don’t think so,” Dan mused, thumbs starting to drag in small circles over the freckles splashed under them. “He’s seen my videos, though.”

“So what’s with this boy then? It is not everyday that Daniel Howell ventures out and meets someone!”

Dan had to laugh at that. His breath crashed through his nose, causing him to snort obnoxiously. His hands fell from Ruth’s cheeks as she joined in his laughter.

“I meet people!” Dan tried as he wheezed. At Ruth’s lifted brow, he squeaked. “Occasionally!”

“Conceded.” Ruth nodded, swooping down to brush her lips against his. She pulled back slightly. “So you met this boy who has watched your videos and?”

“His name is Phil,” Dan supplied, licking his lips and tasting the waxy tartness of the lipstick left behind. “I don’t know, Ruthie. Sometimes you meet someone and they are just…” His hands lifted to rotate through the air as he searched for a suitable word. “Bright.”

“Phil has a nice aura, then.” Ruth pecked the tip of his nose and smirked when he wrinkled it.

“Yeah, but he just seems…” Dan reminisces the way Phil had reached to brush away his fringe, the way his eyes dimmed at times with a heavy fog. “Sad. Lost. I don’t know.”

“You sound taken with him.” Ruth straightened her spine, making a contented noise as it popped. She leaned her weight on her arms, letting herself recline. “Why not ask him to be your friend? It wouldn’t hurt. I mean…” She seemed to consider something, scraping her teeth against her bottom lip- leaving stripes of her natural pigment behind. “If you don’t think he’s trying to be your friend because of your videos.”

“He’s not,” Dan soothed confidently, clasping his fingers on his stomach. “He reminds me of you.” He confesses before continuing a rush: “Genuine. Open. Kind.”

Beautiful.

“Then be his friend! Visit him tomorrow after your meeting,” Ruth encouraged, jerking her knee upwards so he scoffed as his shoulder was lifted unexpectedly. “C’mon, Dan! You’re heavy! And we need to celebrate!”

“For you!” Dan agreed, making sure to smile as big as he could to make his dimple prominent as he stayed where he was lounging. Ruth was always cozy with heat and she had all the tension draining from him, leaving him a contented puddle.

“And you making a new friend! It’s a miracle!” Ruth teased before jamming her blunt fingernail into his cheek. “Uh uh. Don’t dimple at me, you knob. Off.”

Dan groaned as she uncrossed her legs and scooted away, letting his head crash against the carpet.

“What are we getting, you leprechaun?”

Ruth glowered at his words for a moment, digging her toes painfully into his side. “Don’t make me hurt you,” She warned before tapping him much softer with her big toe. “Pizza?”

His feet slid in the gravel as he trudged in the direction of Phil’s van.

His eyelids fluttered shut before snapping open even as he put one foot in front of the other. Dan threw his shoulders back, fussing lowly in muttered snippets only audible to himself. He should have gone to bed sooner but Ruthie had been adamant about getting his script in order because he had promised his viewers that he would have a video up by the end of the week...which meant that she had bounced on their bed as he sat with his back against the frame, reading it.

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence but paired with Peej waking him up at an earlier hour, his mind buzzing with his new found crush, and Ruth bubbling with unspent energy…

He wasn’t a fully functional human on this particular day- at all- and for whatever reason he had been seated next to Chris Kendall for the meeting. The guy was a character- quick witted, spunky, humorous- but there was an intensity to him that had Dan squirming in his seat.

Especially when it was directed at him.

“You’re danisnotonfire?” Chris turned to him, using the packet of papers they had received as a makeshift fan.

“I’m Dan. Yes,” Dan replied, shifting in the cushion he was sitting on as another YouTuber with bleached hair and rose tips frowned in their direction. “We’ve met before.”

“Yes, we have,” Chris agreed with a lascivious smirk. “You are a charmer. Gorgeous smile. Sexy face. Marketable.” Dan watched as he laid the papers on the table to roll them into a loose tube.

“Pardon?” Dan coughed.

“But-” Chris singsonged before pointing the cylinder at Dan. “I don’t know what to make of you, Dan.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what to make of you. You seem cool but are you really?”

“Er…” Dan was at a loss for words and Chris’ smile widened. An image of the Cheshire cat sprung to Dan’s mind and he drummed his fingers in a show of nerves.

“I’m harmless.” Chris giggled at the display as he leaned back. “Relax.”

There was a hint of something...defensive swimming in the light hearted words that made Dan’s shoulders rise even higher before (thankfully- Jesus fucking Christ) the meeting was resumed.

It was safe to say that he was worn out.

He blinked at the scene before him.

Flowers were everywhere. The tables that had been bare when he and Peej had come yesterday were jammed with pots and blooms in every shade of every coloration. The shelves held twisting vines and Dan caught sight of the flat, skinny leaves of the corn cane that had been peeking from the window. It slanted to the right comically and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

Phil was motioning towards a pot with white orchids dotted with magenta speckles, excitedly, as he talked with a girl with short and wispy pale pink hair. A camera was slung around her neck and she was focused on Phil, posture slack.

Dan ground his teeth at the quiet self-assuredness surrounding her and he quickened his pace.

She doesn’t even look bothered. How can she not be a mess in front of Phil?

The girl adjusted her glasses as she smiled at Phil sweetly. Dan’s jaw clenched even tighter as she spoke,

“You’re very sweet. It just looks like a pile of cotton candy on my head.” She motioned to her hair for emphasis and Dan watched Phil giggle, teeth squeezing his tongue.

“No!” Phil disagreed amicably, shaking his head before he clapped his hands together. “Ah! I have an idea. One moment, please.” Phil zoomed towards a wooden shelf to his right, fingers dancing over the pots, bouncing on his tiptoes.

Dan couldn’t help but let out an amused breath as discreetly as possible but it stopped dead when Phil turned around with a single orchid in his hand. He was making his way back to the girl.

The girl who had the lovely pink hair.

Dan pressed his lips into a thin line as Phil handed the flower to her and motioned to put it behind her ear. She eyed Phil with a bit of uncertainty but obliged, giggling lowly as she slid the delicate stem behind her ear.

Phil was positively luminescent with satisfaction- shallow lines around his eyes deepening, that damn tongue trapped where it had been every time Dan saw him smile, and a liveliness twinkling in his eyes.

“See- it almost matches your hair!” Phil told the girl before pursing his lips, bringing his fist under his chin. “Your hair does look like cotton candy, though. Very delicious.”

WHAT. Did he just…

“Hello!” Dan broke in, keeping his steps at a leisured pace as he came to stand beside the girl. “How’s it going, Phil?” He flicked his wrist in a brisk wave before he gave a brief, slightly exasperated laugh.

“I’m just talking with Kate.” Phil nodded toward the girl he had come to stand beside. “She comes by every once in awhile after her photography course.”

That explains the camera.

Dan knew that he really shouldn’t be feeling as riled as he did. He carried a camera with him, now and again, when he decided to film a rare vlog but he couldn’t help the accusatory flick of his eyes toward the equipment before he met Kate’s shocked gaze.

“I knew Louise came here sometimes but,” Kate ran her nails over the camera lens as she gaped at Phil. “I didn’t know you knew Dan Howell! Do you know everybody?” The question was light hearted and Dan had to admit that he was taken aback by not being ambushed by someone who recognized him.

“Maybe I do.” Phil concurred before he chuckled. “I don’t, not really. It does seem like I am a magnet for YouTubers!” He wiggled his brows at Kate who laughed before he stood a bit straighter. “I have an idea! You needed a photo for your project, right? Something about intentional photo mistakes?”

“Yeah.” Kate drug out the word as she rocked on the balls of her feet with a slight frown.

“It’s just a shot or two?” Phil fished and Dan adjusted his own feet as he was suddenly pinned under those glittering eyes.

“Yes?” Kate’s answer sounded more like a question. Phil’s lips stretched even wider.

“Dan!” Phil clapped and Dan jumped.

“What?”

“Will you help Kate with her project?” Phil dipped his head to gaze at Dan from beneath his dark hair and…

He couldn’t be responsible for his actions when he was faced with that.

It’s only two photos, right? I’ll be fine. I take pictures with subscribers regularly. It’s no different.

Then, Phil turned to Kate and winked. Dan took in a sharp breath before flipping his fringe out of his eyes, putting on a small polite smile.

“I can’t.” Dan’s words were contrite and gentle as he shook his head. “I was actually on my way to a meeting.”

He caught the way Phil’s eyes narrowed but the florist didn’t say anything. Kate dropped the camera so it dangled from the strap with a quiet breath.

“That’s okay.” She flicked a piece of her hair away from her face before she bit her lip. “Can I have a hug?”

“Absolutely,” Dan responded, opening his arms. Kate shuffled towards him and he gave her a friendly squeeze, resting his chin on her head. “I’m sure you’ll do fine on your project,” He promised sincerely before he released her. “Have a good day. I have to be off.”

“Thank you,” Kate murmured and he gave her his signature two finger salute before nodding at Phil.

“I’ll stop by again sometime, Phil.”

He turned toward the trail and strolled away with a repressed sigh.

“Jealousy will be your downfall one day, Dan.” Ruth’s partly delighted, slight exasperated quip entered his thoughts, and Dan laughed to himself, pushing his hair up into a quiff before flattening it once more.

I’m not jealous.

Yeah. Right. You just sat through a meeting and now you’re off to another imaginary one.

At least, I can take a nap now.

“Dan!” Phil’s high yell broke through his inner monologue and Dan stopped, turning to see Phil making his way toward him with a single red flower with a darkened center. “Wait!”

A disbelieving laugh escaped Dan, and he caught sight of Phil’s pleased expression, lips twitching.

“Here.” Phil held out his little tag along to Dan who took it from him, fingers brushing against pale and smooth skin.

“What’s this?” Dan questioned, turning the flower in his grasp with deliberate care.

“A petunia.”

“Why are you giving it to me?”

Phil paused for a moment and Dan felt the air saturate with that dense sadness that Phil had lurking around him at times.

“I promised you a bouquet,” Phil started, pinching the hem of his shirt between his fingers as he caught and held Dan’s eye. “But, since you’re leaving... I figured a petunia would do- for now.”

“I can just get your number,” Dan pointed out brashly before the telltale rose hue of his embarrassment stained his cheeks. “It would let me know when you had it ready…”

“Or you could just come back since the YouTube meeting was held earlier,” Phil mused with sass sprinkled through the words before he sniggered. “Of course. That means you’ll have to tell Kate that you’re a dirty liar, Daniel.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Dan deflected, clearing his throat as his voice squeaked in the middle of his statement.

“Sure you don’t,” Phil drawled before he spun to face his van. Dan’s fingers tightened slightly around his petunia as the other started to wander away. Phil stopped once more to shoot over his shoulder.

“And I don’t know my number.”

Dan must have been quite a sight- holding his petunia away from his body while he was doubled over, howling with laughter. He could feel his eyes stinging with tears and was almost one hundred percent sure his cheeks were crimson but he couldn’t bring himself to care in that moment.

Phil was a cheeky little shit and Dan couldn’t deny that he was delighted.

(And perhaps more than a little fucked but he would ignore that little tidbit for now.)

Previous Part: Denial / Next Part: Anger, second act

#Phandom Reverse Bang 2017 #PRB 2017 #Phan #Phanfiction #Florist! Phil #YouTuber! Dan #Ambrose's writing #Kat's writing

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poursomesugaronu2 · 6 years

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A Cup of Diamond Eyes - Chapter 4

((Enjoyed listening to Studio Ghibli music while writing this))

An hour spent playing music with Dan, and Phil popped his head in, telling the pair that dinner was almost ready. Pretending that he hadn't opened all the doors so that he could hear them from the kitchen.

Luciano was in a far better mood as he stood, taking the bass back to his bedroom. He was glad that it was so close. He returned it to the case where it would be safe and went back over to Dan, who was waiting for him.

"You still haven't played me something, Luci," Dan said with a little laugh.

Luciano grinned and sat up on Dan's lap again, thinking for a moment about what to play. He considered classical but decided against it, going for his real passion. He began to play a piano version of So What by Miles Davis. It was one of his favourite songs to play. He hummed another side tune as he played. It was one of the first jazz songs that his grandfather taught him how to play. It, of course, sounded much better with a big band. But Luciano had never minded how it sounded when played as a solo piano song. His nonno had played it for him a million and a half times when he was very young.

There were quite a few mistakes from lack of practice, but it wasn't awful. "Sorry, daddy. I haven't had a lot of practice." He confessed in a soft voice once he reached the solo, which he'd never been able to do properly. He had been learning quite a few pieces, and the memorization hadn't been easy. He looked up at Dan, who was smiling.

"You're very talented," He said with a smile. "I'm impressed. You're welcome to play my piano anytime you want. Except at 3 AM when I'm having an existential crisis."

"A what?" Luciano stared at him, confused as to what that meant.

"Maybe not something you should learn at this age... Shall we see what masterful daddy Philip has cooked for us?" Dan asked, to which Luciano nodded and climbed from Dan's lap.

With Luciano clinging to Dan's arm, they made their way to the kitchen where Phil was plating up something that he didn't recognise... By sight. But the smell was something that reminded him of home. "You made pasta?" He asked in surprise. Well, it wasn't quite the smell of Nonno's house, but he was grinning anyway. Close enough to home.

Phil nodded, smiling. "Spaghetti bolognese." He stated, setting the leftovers aside. The pair of them were so tall, it was still daunting to Luciano, but he didn't care that much. He was hungry. He took his plate with a gracious thank you, and the pair of them led Luciano over to a couch in front of the TV. He sat in between them, cross-legged with his plate in his lap. He bent his head down and quietly spoke a prayer of thanks for the food before taking in his first bite. Phil wasn't the greatest cook in the world, but after the food in the orphanage, it tasted like absolute heaven.

"It tastes so good, daddy..." He commented, watching the screen as Phil began to go through the movies they had.

"Luci, what's your favourite Disney movie?" Phil asked, looking over at him. Disney? He remembered Ally mentioning something about it, but he wasn't sure what it was.

"I'm not sure what Disney is?" He admitted after a long pause, which induced shocked sounds from both Dan and Phil.

"What? Phil! Lion King! Put it on now! You poor deprived child," Dan put his plate down in order to hug Luci from the side. He was just confused as to what all the fuss was about.

The trio quietened as Phil set the movie to play, dimming the lights enough so that they could see well enough to eat, but it was in 'cinema mode'.

It was Luciano's first movie. That occurred to him then. He sat there, eating his dinner as he watched the animated pictures move across the screen. By the time the elephant graveyard was on screen, he had finished as much as he could eat, setting the half-full plate down on the coffee table in front of them, which joined his parent's empty ones. He blushed at that. He stayed by himself until the stampede came through on screen. He could hear Dan beside him sniffling.

"Long live the king."

Tears slid down onto his cheeks and he felt warm arms wrap around him from his right. He leant against Dan's chest, clinging to his shirt tight. "Wh-Why is Scar s-so mean...?" He asked. "He k-killed Simba's dad... He hurt him..."

"I don't know... It's so mean of Scar, isn't it?" Dan muttered down to him.

Another layer of warmth came around the two in the comforting form of Phil's arms. He was the only one who wasn't crying, not like the two of them. He too felt the sadness of the scene, but he didn't seem to shed tears as easily. He hugged them both and let them cry.

Luciano was embarrassed, he knew that he went on crying for a lot longer. But with the dinner out of the way, he got to sit in Dan's lap right beside Phil, who had Dan's head on his shoulder. The movie continued, and Luciano got more excited, happy that Simba was gaining power and saving the pride. He was happy with the movie.

"That's amazing! That was such a good movie!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

"I'm glad you like it because we might have to disown you if you didn't love lion king. Since Phil is the lion king." Dan said with a little laugh, turning his head to look at Phil, kissing his cheek. Luciano refused to look at that.

"Louise is coming over to drop off the books," Phil said, after a quick check of his phone.

Luciano huddled himself into Dan's chest, "Who's Louise?" He muttered, biting his lip.

"She's a friend of ours... She's lending us some books so we can help you learn to read." Dan explained with a smile, "You can thank Phil for that idea."

Luciano had to move into Phil's lap, hugging him tight. "Thanks, daddy..." He said.

"I'll do the dishes," Dan said, standing up from the couch, kissing both Luciano's and Phil's foreheads.

"This is so different from my old home..." He muttered, leaning against him. "Thank you... for being so kind and accepting and loving... I know God will have to accept you into heaven... And if he doesn't, I'll pray to him until he does!" He clung to Phil's shirt.

"Thank you, Luciano..." Phil had a little smile on his face. He was grateful for the sentiment, as he knew how much it meant to him, "Do you mind if I ask what your family was like? Mrs Pach was very vague about why you were there."

Luciano just nodded a little. "I was there because my family never picked me up from the hospital after my accident... They didn't want me. Compared to you and daddy... They were mean... Mama hated me for being different." He gestured to his skin and hair.

"Daddy and I will never hate you, I promise you that, Luciano. Being different is a good thing, something to be embraced. You're beautiful just the way you are. You're perfect just the way you are and nobody can tell you otherwise. Nobody. I don't see any imperfections when I look at you, Luciano. You're my child, our child." He looked in the direction of the kitchen.

Luciano was quiet for a long moment before he hugged closer to Phil than before, some tears slipping down his face. "I wish I could have been with you and daddy my whole life... You would've been nicer..." His little hands clutched the fabric of Phil's shirt tighter than before, his body trembling.

Phil rubbed his back, holding him close. He was so small, the size of someone much younger. Phil didn't have much experience with children, but he knew that Luciano was so much smaller than a child of his age. He didn't want to ask him further when it came to what his parents had done, but he could feel his ribs too easily. His child was underweight. What had his pare- No, his birth parents. Dan and Phil were his parents now... The others didn't deserve to be known as parents.

The pair had known it would be a lot of work when they decided to adopt an older child. But they had known that an older child was likely to stay in the system longer, as parents preferred to adopt much younger children... And children without disabilities. Sure, it was nice that Luciano was lucky enough to be able to wear glasses... Was that another thing that was his birth parents' fault? Or was is a true misdiagnosis. He had his suspicions. He kissed Luciano's forehead, glad that he seemed to be calming down.

The homophobia was something they'd have to deal with. When himself and Dan had spoken earlier, they had agreed that trying to make him switch away from his religion would be wrong... But they did need to teach him a few things. Dan going home in tears from Luciano's words wasn't something that they needed to repeat, or tell Luciano about. The homophobia that had come about once they made it known to the public had been quite bad for Dan.

They never made a 'coming out video'... It wasn't really their style. All it took was a goodnight kiss in a live stream followed by an 'I'll join you soon'. A simple way to tell people that yes, they were together and no, it wasn't that big of a deal. Of course, it ended up being one. But they didn't answer unnecessary questions. Still, the homophobia had Dan crying himself to sleep on more than one occasion, and he wasn't the only one to shed a tear. It had calmed down now, but hearing it from their own child was a hard blow.

Once Luciano was in his room, he had spoken to Dan. And he knew that another discussion would be going on later. He knew that even now, Dan would feel better once he knew that Luciano didn't want them to go to hell. Neither he nor Dan believed in it, but it was a sentiment that meant a lot to him.

"I love you, daddy..." Phil heard from Luciano. He smiled at that and kissed his forehead. "I love you too, Luci..." He said, noticing how tired he looked. "How about we get you in the shower and into your pyjamas so you can sleep? You've had such a big day, you need sleep, sweetie."

Luciano just nodded. Phil stood, carrying Luciano with him as he moved to Luciano's room. "Where did you put your pyjamas?" He asked, which resulted in Luciano pointing under his pillow. Phil had to smile at that and held them under one arm. These were the ones with the snake patterns on them. They had bought those and some unicorn ones. He held Luciano's hand and led him to the bathroom.

"To get the water warmer, you move it to the left, and colder to the right," Phil explained. "It's pretty simple. You can use this shampoo and conditioner for your hair, and there's some body-wash there too. You're free to use it, alright? We'll get you your own stuff later on." He pointed to the bottles, making sure Luciano took note of them. "Daddy and I will be just down the hall, and if you need anything, just yell out, okay?"

Luciano nodded, swallowing as he looked at the bottles. "Shampoo for my hair, conditioner for my hair... Okay." He nodded.

Phil kissed his forehead, "Just a little yell away." He said before leaving the bathroom and closing the door, heading down to the lounge and going on his phone. Dan joined him after a few moments. "How is he doing?" He asked, sitting next to Phil, looking over at him.

"He was looking tired... He's taking a shower, then he'll be in bed. He's had a big day," Phil smiled, shifting to wrap his arm around Dan, "Isn't it strange? We're parents now."

"I didn't expect this when I sent you that message, Phil. We've come so far... In our career... In our relationship."

The feeling of nostalgia was almost physical between them. So much that they'd done together. So much achievement. They thought together of the things that they had accomplished, looking into each other's eyes. They were powerful together, and they knew it. The long silence between them wasn't awkward.

It was like some people had said, they seemed to communicate in a way that was less than normal. A conversation with their eyes, if you will. Phil soon shifted, resting his head on Dan's shoulder.

"I could look into your eyes forever, Phil," Dan muttered, kissing down Phil's cheek and to his mouth, holding him in a chaste kiss for no longer than a short moment.

"I love you," Phil whispered in Dan's ear, "And I'm glad I can spend the rest of my life with you."

Dan turned to look into Phil's eyes, "You're more brilliant than anyone gives you credit for, Phil Howell-Lester. I love you too."

"My name sounds so much better with Howell in it."

"And yours sounds better with Lester in it."

The pair laughed before they were interrupted by the doorbell.

"I'll get it," Phil pecked Dan's cheek, standing and smiling, heading down to the front door to let Louise in.

Not a moment after Phil left, there was a call from the bathroom. "Daddy!"

Dan stood, heading to the bathroom, knocking on the door, "Luciano, are you alright?"

"Uh... I just need... Some help..." Luciano said, only just loud enough to be audible.

Dan opened the door and slipped inside, seeing that Luciano was on the floor, so far only wearing his pyjama pants. He knelt down beside him, "What happened, Luci? Are you alright?"

Luciano nodded, biting his lip, "Um... I just fell... And I can't get back up." He said. He had been taught from a young age not to complain, so he didn't mention the pain in his leg.

"Are you hurt?"

Luciano shook his head, "Nothing bad."

Dan's hands made their way to Luciano's sides and he lifted him, taking as much care as he could, setting him back down on his feet.

Luciano slipped a little, but settled, letting Dan help him with the pyjama top. He turned to look in the mirror, studying his features. "S'weird to see myself... Never seen myself properly before," He muttered, turning away, not wanting to look for too long. It was too strange.

Dan smiled, "You're very pretty, Luciano. I'm glad that you were able to see everything today."

Luciano blushed, nodding as he moved to hug Dan by his leg.

"Do you want to come and meet Louise?" Dan asked, smiling down at his child. Being a parent was still surreal to him.

"Will you carry me?" Luciano asked, smiling a toothy grin up at Dan.

He couldn't resist that face. Dan reached down and picked him up, surprised by how light he was, but made no comment. He carried him through to the lounge, seeing Louise and Phil sitting on the couch. Luciano blushed, pushing his face against Dan's shoulder out of nervousness.

Dan sat, letting Luciano stay in his lap. "Hey, Louise... My awkward buddy." He chuckled, "He's inherited my awkwardness."

Luciano looked up, waving at Louise. The woman in front of him was a little larger, but pretty. Blonde hair in a ponytail. "H-Hello, ma'am." He wasn't sure where the nervousness had come from, but it didn't negate it's existence.

"Hi, Luci! You can call me Auntie Louise," Louise smiled and extended a hand to shake, "Can I just say that I love your hair?"

Luciano shook it, smiling a little, "Th-Thank you, um... Auntie Louise." He bit his lip hard, remembering what his aunt back at home had done. He pressed himself close to Dan, holding onto Dan's shirt. A yawn followed, leading Dan to believe that he was just tired.

Dan leaned down to kiss Luciano's forehead, "Someone's needs bed I think." He said, smiling at the other two, "How about I tell you a story and you get so sleep?"

Luciano just nodded against Dan's chest. Dan stood once again to take him to bed, letting Phil give him a kiss on the forehead. "I'll come and say goodnight soon," He said with a smile.

Dan nodded and took Luciano to bed.

"How's it been so far?" Louise asked, looking towards Phil, intrigued, "Being new parents and all, I should hope that I can be at least a little bit of help for you." She was a mother of two, so it was logical that she would have some assistance. Though she hadn't had an eleven year old, as Darcy was only six.

"It's been... Interesting," Phil made sure that he heard the footsteps up the stairs go before he spoke again. "He was raised as a Catholic. Or a Christian, I'm not sure... He had a bad reaction when he put the glasses on and found out that Dan was not a female, as he had thought. Uh... He said that we were sinners and Dan had to go home because he was upset... Reminded him of last year."

Louise gave a surprised nod, "Ah... That's difficult. They seem to be getting on very well now, what changed?"

Phil's frown turned to a smile almost instantaneously, "Well, I spoke to Dan while Luci put his clothes away. And after that chat, Dan ended up playing music with Luci. He plays double bass, and I ended up buying him one at the music shop today. Did you see the post I put on Instagram of them?"

Louise took out her phone to look, smiling, "I suppose it's true then. Music does bond people together."

"He spoke to me earlier, saying that he knows that being homosexual is something that can be forgiven, and he hopes that God will forgive us. I thought it was very sweet. He was abandoned by his family... I think what he lets off is that they weren't too bad, but they seem like awful people, Lou. I'm not sure how to bring up the topic without upsetting him."

"My suggestion would be to be incredibly careful about it. Maybe not yet, let him settle in first, I suppose. Have you thought about school?"

Phil nodded, "Dan and I did our research, you know how bad public schools can be... We're thinking of trying a mix of online schooling and this thing called unschooling. So he'll take the main courses online, but he'll also be able to do things that will help him in the real world. I'm glad we don't officially have to worry about that for another month."

"That fits you two, y'know? Having online schooling. But it makes absolute sense. Public schooling may not be the best place for him... How old did you say he is? He doesn't look much older than Darcy."

"He's eleven... I think that's his birth parents' fault. Malnutrition. When I was holding him earlier, I could feel his ribs... I know that isn't normal. We're going to book in a doctor's appointment as soon as possible because I'm worried."

Louise nodded in understanding, standing up, "Of course. Well, if you don't mind, I'll leave you be. I'd better head home. I'll need those books back eventually, but you're free to use them while he's learning."

Phil smiled and stood up, hugging her before leading her down to the front door. "You're an absolute gem, Louise. A sprinkle of glitter." He attempted a wink, which more of a blink, before grinning.

"You are the pun master." Louise said, chuckling before she left, "See you later!"

Phil waved before heading back inside and upstairs. He went to Luciano's room, peeking in the doorway. He expected to see Dan with some form of book, but he was sitting there, Luciano in his lap, pale blue eyes gazing up at Dan in admiration as he told a story of an albino princess that made everyone in the kingdom happy. He didn't make any move to interrupt, watching from the doorway.

As Dan's story continued, he didn't seem to notice Luciano falling asleep in his arms. Phil approached, leaning in next to Dan, "And the princess fell asleep..." He whispered.

Dan looked up in surprise, his smile clear on his face, observing Phil's face. "Pull the blankets back?" He said with a smile, clear intentions to tuck Luciano in.

Phil pulled back the covers, allowing Dan to set Luciano down, kissing his forehead before grabbing his lion and slipping it in next to him. Luciano's body shifted naturally, settling once Phil laid the blanket over him.

"Goodnight," Phil said, kissing Luciano's forehead softly. Dan did the same, kissing Luciano's forehead once more.

The pair grasped hands before leaving the room and heading to their own. Quiet discussion ensued, before they too slept only two hours following Luciano. Night owls as they usually were, the day had been long. They were ready for sleep.

#danandphil danhowell phillester phan phanfic phandom helpmewhatamIdoing parentphan parent!phan fuck

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cantijustwish · 6 years

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Phanfiction One- shot: Souls

I rolled over lazily in my bed, staring at my alarm clock. 10:30 a.m. I sat up and began to dress in what I thought would be depressing enough for society.

“It’s too early for this shit.” I mumbled.

“I agree.”

I quickly turned around to find an attractive man in a blue suit. His eyes were like glowing amber, warm and tempting. But I knew them very well.

“What do you want, Satan?” I asked, arms crossed.

He looked around the room, his gaze not bothering to reach my own. “I need a favor.”

My eyes narrowed. Last time I saw him I was sixteen, and it was to make a deal. He sat down on the bed and crossed his legs, refusing to look at me.

“I will give you your soul back as payment for agreeing to help me.” He stated firmly, finally looking at me.

“And if I refuse?” I asked.

“Then I will drive you mad, take away everyone you’ve ever loved, haunt you in your dreams, until you finally surrender to my lovely friend; Death.” He tilted his head and smiled at me, his blonde hair moving as he did so.

I bit my lower lip. He didn’t give me much of a choice. “Fine. I agree to help you.”

“Splendid!” He waved his hands as he stood up. “First, I’ll need your hands in mine to return the soul you so graciously sold.” He extended his hands, palms facing upwards. With a sickening feeling in my gut, I cautiously rested my hands into his. They were warm like last time, which didn’t help the awful feeling. As he began the ritual the sky got darker, and the room got colder. His hands got warmer the more he chanted, and a burning sensation filled my chest with pain. He quickly let go and I fell to the floor, sitting hard on my butt. The sky was back to normal, the room returned to warm, and the burning in my chest lessoned.

My lungs were struggling to get air in because there was pressure pressing on them. My body felt heavier and I could feel my heart pounding faster than it should.

“Souls.” Satan said. “Heavy little burdens they are. Your balance will be off for a couple of hours, while your everything gets used to your soul being back. Along with your soul getting used to being in a body.” He offered his hand to help me up. “It will take a few days for your soul to find the weight and place.” He tugged me up to meet his gaze. “So you’ll feel random pain and pressure in various body parts. But don’t worry.” He winked. “It’s only temporary.”

And with that he disappeared, not even bothering to tell me what he needed me for. I shook my head and went to the kitchen, greeted by Phil, who was sitting on the counter, eating a bowl of cereal. We discussed what game we should play for our gaming channel, while I fried an egg.

“What are you thinking about?” Phil asked.

“Huh?” I looked at him.

He furrowed his brows at me. “You’ve got your thinking face on.”

I shrugged, coming up with a white lie to tell him. “Just thinking of how we met.” I smiled at him, as I flipped the egg over. “It was so long ago, and now we’re best friends living together. It’s pretty mind blowing.”

Phil set his bowl down and grinned at me. “Right? We had a radio show, we wrote a book, and went on tour.”

If only I sold my soul to gain his love instead.

After breakfast Phil went into his room to work on a video while I took my regular position on the couch. Before I could open my laptop I felt a heavy pain in my head. Thinking it was a migraine, I rubbed the sides of my forehead, trying to loosen the tension. When they didn’t work I got up and found some tylenol, and took two pills with a full glass of water.

Two hours later I was on my bed in the dark. At this point I figured it was my soul figuring out where to be and how heavy it should be. I’d rather be soul less than have this go on for a couple of days. At least I have a chance of going to heaven now, which is an upside.

The next few days were full of me falling over and getting pains in every part of my body. Phil was tempted to call the ambulance when I fell down the stairs and had a bloody nose. I told him that I was fine and that it’ll pass. He kept fussing over it and told me to see a doctor. I explain to him that I’ve had this before and it was no big deal.

At the end of the day, when Phil went to bed, my old friend, Satan arrived. This time he was sitting next to me, dressed in a red suit. “You haven’t had any more balance issues recently?” He asked.

“No. But I got a bloody nose because my leg decided to cramp up while I was going down stairs.”

“Well, as long as you have your balance, we can talk.” He started, his amber eyes glowing, “You see, I had a friend who helped me in Hell. His name was Joel and I had him go undercover for me.”

“Undercover, where?” I queried.

“Heaven of course!” he smiled charmingly. “He’s a Fallen and I gave him wings. I just found out from my other spies that he’s been missing for a few decades. Which is why I haven’t heard from him in a long time. I’d like to find him.” He stood up and offered his gloved hand.

I stayed seated. “Why would you like to find him, and why do you need my help?”

He took his hand back and had a serious expression. “He’s very powerful, like me. We bonded.” He took off the glove on his left hand. “We were branded, see?”

He extended his left hand to show a feather looking birthmark.

“Okay, what does that have to do with me?” I blinked.

“I cannot find him in his human form. No one but a human can.” He looked at me.

I stared at him. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

He waved his hands in air in frustration. “Alright fine, I’m worried, and I can feel him in the area. You’re the only one that’s not afraid of me, regardless of the fact that I’m Satan, ruler of Hell! “

I could feel him lying but I laughed. “You? In love?” I snorted.

“Dan, this is serious.”

“You’re not that intimidating, Satan.” I wiped my eyes after pretending to laugh so hard. “Okay, so it’s not that serious, I just gotta find the guy with the same birthmark. How am I going to do that?”

He gritted his teeth. “You have to sleep with him.”

I blinked at him. “As in, have sex?”

“Yes. Otherwise you’ll never find the mark.”

“Where exactly is mark the at?” I hoped I wouldn’t have to see any of my friends’ dicks’ to determine who they are.

He sighed. “It’s on his left hip.”

Well, that beats fucking every guy I know. I reached out my hand for him to shake. “I’ll find him. How long do I have, and how will I contact you when I find him?”

Satan closed his hand, reopened it, to reveal a bracelet with a feather charm on it. “You have three months and five days. When you find him touch the feather charm and think of me.”

I accepted the bracelet and he vanished.

It was a long night, full of tossing and turning. I tried to recall if I’ve ever seen my friends’ hips. I only have about three people I consider friends. Phil, PJ, and Chris, were the only guy friends I’m decently close to. I’ve seen Phil naked many times during tour, so I ruled him out. I considered texting Chris in the morning to schedule a time to hang out, but I wouldn’t know how to get him to show his hips. And I can’t ask him ‘nudes’, because that’s just weird. PJ would be easier because he’s an open book. I could probably ask him right now if he had any birthmarks and he’d reply within the next twenty four hours. So I shot him a text asking just that.

When I woke up, which was around noon, I saw I got a reply from PJ.

‘Nope. Why?’

I lied.

‘Tumblr had this post about birthmarks being the place where you got stabbed and died.’

I took five minutes to gather my things so I could shower. I didn’t even bother to get dressed so I walked out into the hallway in my underwear. Phil’s door was opened, and he was sat on his bed with his laptop. I told him I was going to shower so avoid using the toilets and sinks. He nodded his understanding.

The warm water cascading over my body cleared my mind. I have three months to find this person. I already have two people down. But then again Satan said Joel was in my area. He didn’t give me much to go on. Perhaps I’ll summon him tonight to ask for details. I don’t get why people are so afraid of him. He’s not that scary. Yes, I believe his threats, yes, I know he’s powerful, but he’s okay. He know’s mankind’s desires and he wants to help them get it. No matter how twisted that desire is. But in order to interfere with fate, it requires a lot of energy. So in trade you give your soul. Which isn’t much since it doesn’t really interfere with your day to day life.

He was my friend at some point. He was the new kid across the street from my old home. We became friends and I told him about how much I really wanted to meet AmazingPhil from YouTube. I brought it up almost every time we hung out, which was everyday for a solid week. At the end of the week he asked if I’d be willing to give my soul up for such a chance. I told him ‘Hell yeah!’. And that’s the story of how I made a deal with the devil.

But in that week, he told me that he hated his job because he had to deal with stupid people in Hell. I just assumed he meant customer service, not actual Hell. He told me all about the pressure of being the manager, and how he really just wanted to relax with a friend of his who was working for another person. He also told me his worries of said friend because he hasn’t heard from him in a long time. I recall telling him that it’s just fine, but he said that he’s afraid that the friend has changed over the years.

Now I know who he’s talking about.

Once out of the shower I asked Phil if he wanted to get some lunch with me. He agreed and we were out of the apartment by one. We didn’t get back til four, we were so caught up in our conversation about whether or not we’d survive the zombie cow apocalypse the whole time.

“Ready to film some Dil?” Phil smirked.

You’d think after having a normal day with Phil, I’d be completely relax. Truth is, I’ve never been more on edge. I don’t know much about Demons and Angels, and the thought of living near one made me uncomfortable. I debated if I should tell Phil about my whole deal with the devil, but thought it was best to not involve him. I didn’t want to hurt him in this, I had no idea what the consequences would be if I didn’t find the guy in three months.

Soon three months turned into two and I was still having a rough time finding Joel. I already questioned Chris and he said he didn’t have any that he was aware of. I started to question other youtubers, all the one’s I’ve worked with, the ones who we did videos with. I was left with Tyler Oakley. He was going to be easy considering it’s Tyler.

The only thing was, he lived in America. If I jokingly sent a message ‘send nudes’, there is a chance I may get some, which I wasn’t to thrilled about. I pulled up twitter on my phone and messaged Tyler on the subject of birthmarks.

‘Hey, do you have any birthmarks?’

‘Why?’

‘Reasons.’

‘No. Is this for a video?’

‘Nope.’

‘...okay.’

And now he thinks I’m a freak. Oh well, my life is going to shit anyways. I tossed my phone on the bed and flopped down. I was out of people that I knew. Perhaps I should just sell my soul again and make it so that he can never do anything to hurt the people I love. At least they’d be safe.

“Dan.” Phil poked his head in my door way. “I’m going out to eat dinner with my brother and his wife. You going to be okay?”

This was something Phil always did before he left; make sure I’d be okay while he was gone. If I ever said no, he’d cancel or take me with. I took it as an opportunity to summon my dealer, so I told Phil that I’d be alright while he was gone.

“You sure? You’ve been acting strange the past few weeks.”

“Just some stuff.” I gave a small smile.

He opened the door more so I could see his body. “Is it… about us?”

I bit my lip. If only, I thought. “Phil, I’m fine, spend time with your brother.”

“Dan?” Phil furrowed his brows and we locked eyes. “I know I didn’t give you an answer, but that doesn’t-”

“Phil, can we drop it? I know what rejection looks like and feels like. I’m fine, I promise you, I just need some time alone.” I half lied, lowering my eyes to the ground.

He nodded and closed the door. I touched the charm and thought about Satan coming to say hi.

“Well, have you found Joel yet?” He said from behind me, making me jump.

Hands in the air, I loudly exclaimed. “Can’t you just appear within my vision like a regular person?”

He thought about it for a second, and shook his head. “Have you found Joel?”

“How can I, when you haven’t given me much to go on? You didn’t give me any physical traits, or something he likes to do, how can I find him that way?”

He sat on top of my desk. “One thing a Fallen can’t do is hide their eye color. He has green eyes, though I’ve seen him change them to a green yellow while he was undercover. Look for a person with green and yellow eyes.”

“Okay.” We stared at each other. “Anything else?”

“He likes animals.”

“Okay.” I waved my hands for more.

“Just go on those characteristics, and I’m sure you’ll find him by next month.” He stood and turned around, getting ready to leave.

“Why did he leave?” I blurted out.

He stopped and turned to face me. “Nothing can scare men like love. Lust is easy, lust doesn’t require much. But love, now that is something completely different. You have to be committed to it, you have to show it, say it, fuck like it. Even powerful beings fall victim to it, and it doesn’t end well.”

I had the feeling that he was telling the truth. “So he rejected you, and then decided to disappear?”

“Yes.” He looked down and shoved his hands in the pockets of his black suit pants.

“So why do you want to find him so badly if he left you?”

He sighed. “Dan, don’t you want to know the reasons why you were rejected by people?”

I nodded.

“That’s all I want. An explanation. Depending on his answer, I may or may not ruin how a country functions.” With that he left me alone.

After the clock turned ten I heard Phil open the door. I sat on my bed, thinking over what Satan said about wanting an explanation. Perhaps it was time to ask Phil as to why he doesn’t love me back.

I got up and saw that he door was slightly ajar. I pushed it open to see Phil in the middle of undressing. My gaze quickly averted to the floor, a slight warmth flushed my cheeks. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. You can look at me Dan, I’m know you’ve seen more before.” He pulled up his emoji pants to his hips. “What do you want to talk about.?” He sat on his colorful bed and patted a spot next to it.

I sat down to the left of him, inspecting my hands. Finally I parted my lips to speak. “I just. Want to know why…. You don’t love me back?” I let out the air I was holding in my chest as my eyes watered. I wasn’t sure if I could do this. Any of it. But the need to know was there, it has been since the end of the tour. I just didn’t have the guts to ask until now, because I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to find Joel in time.

Phil turned to face me, his legs criss-crossed. “Dan, it’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I’m afraid to love you.”

I looked at him, confused.

“The phandom is so focused on us being together, I’m afraid that if we do tell them, they’ll go all crazy. And you know what happened a few years ago, after they almost ruined our friendship. We acted like we didn’t know each other, we rarely did videos together. I’m not sure if being together would be a good thing. Because there are still going to be weird people doing weird fanart and fanfiction. Those fans who think they know what’s going on in our lives, when they couldn’t be more wrong.” His eyes looked so defeated. “Dan. I don’t want our fan base to hurt what we have now, or in the future. I’m fine with just being friends, because I feel like that’s as good as it will ever get.”

“We can just forget about what they think, Phil? We can-”

“-Dan, I have tried, but it still bothers me. I’m not comfortable when the fan base does those things. Yes, I can ignore it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t annoy me.”

“We can just do it in secret. We don’t have to tell them, Phil.”

His blue eyes stared into my brown ones. They held uncertainty, pain, and hope. There was also another feeling in there. Longing.

He shook his head, his black hair swishing as he did so. “I don’t know if I could do it.”

“Why not?” I tried a small smile and placed my hands on his. I didn’t know how long I had with Phil, and I would love to be with him for the remainder of my life. No matter how short it was.

“I’ve never been with a guy before.” He sighed. “This isn’t the first time, Dan. I don’t know why I didn’t tell him that I liked him back,” He hung his head. “but I found you, and I’m so glad that I did because I feel more when I’m around you than I ever did with him.”

My eyes narrowed. “Who’s this him?”

He moved his hands away from mine and refused to look at me. “It was a long time ago. It doesn’t really matter anymore. I just don’t like hurting people.”

‘He has green eyes’, Satan told me. ‘ I’ve seen him change them to a green yellow.’

Phil’s eyes were mostly blue. But they had specks of green and yellow. “Stand up.”

Phil looked at me. “Why?”

“Just. Stand up. Please.” I commanded.

He stood up and my hand went to his left hip. I gently pulled down the side with my pointer finger. I saw a purple feather like mark on his pale skin. I let the fabric go back to place as I stood up to face Phil.

“You’re a Fallen. At least, that’s what Satan calls you.” I straightened my jawline. After all this time, the man he was looking for was a couple of yards away from me.

“Dan, what are you talking about?”

“You don’t need to lie, Phil.” My expression hardened. “You and Satan were once like us, but when we confessed our love to you, you left, or didn’t say anything. Now he’s looking for you, and the only thing stopping him from showing up, is me.” I held out my right wrist with the charm bracelet.

“Wha-why, would you have that? How do you know Satan?” His eyes bore into my skull.

Hesitation caught me in the throat. “I… made a deal with him, years ago.”

“As did I.” His eyes didn’t leave mine. “Dan, I left him because I didn’t want to be his spy anymore. I risked so much for him, only to have him tell me I wasn’t doing as well as the others.” He voice began to rise. “He used me, he took my blood, he gave me my wings after I promised him my soul. I had to fight to get out of there, I thought I was doing just fine, playing a human being.” His gaze turned into a glare. “But I guess not.”

“Phil.”

“What? What are you going to say, huh? Do you know how much pain he put me through, Dan? Do you?”

“Phil.”

“After I came back the first time to report, he pulled out my feathers because it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. The second time, he chained them down for years, until I begged him in my blood. The third time, he cut them off, putting me in pain I didn’t even know existed. Dan, I’ve been alive for hundreds of years, I saw mankind get hit with plagues, natural disasters, hell, I’ve witness rape and abuse countless times! I was casted out for speaking my mind on how we treat humankind, I was left to roam this earth with my wings visible. I had to hide, I had to insulate myself. Because if I didn’t I was going to get hunted. And I was, I was hunted til they finally cut me apart, they took my feathers, my wings, they took my skin. It was in my dying moments that I begged for another chance.” He switch his gaze to everything but me. “I was hoping to avoid him for one lifetime, just one lifetime, Dan. I was going to meet him again anyways, because he still has my soul.” He looked at me, betrayal masking his beautiful blue eyes.

“Phil.” I tried again.

“What? What is it, Dan?!” He demanded, tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

His mouth opened slightly, shock written all over his facial features.

“I was unaware that I was becoming like him. I don’t want to betray you, but I don’t know what he’ll do if I don’t tell him. I’m just human.” My body shook, fear grasping my heart.

Phil pulled me into a hug. “I know. But humans are better than my kind.”

After Phil explained the basics of how angels and demons work, we set out a plan. A plan which required him to carve certain markings into my back. I passed out a few times from the pain, but the ritual calls for no pauses, or even screams. So it was a good thing my body was weak because I was close to breaking those rules.

Once done, Phil bandaged me up, and gave me two days to heal. On day three I summoned Satan.

“You better have good news, because I’m sick of being called for nothing.” He appeared to the left of me.

“And what would you do if it wasn’t good news?” Phil walked in, and leaned on the door frame.

Satan inspected Phil, “My, my.” He looked at me and then back to Phil. “You certainly went over the top on your disguise. No wonder I couldn’t find you.”

“I know how to blend in.”

He walked over to face Phil. “Took a stillborn and gave its body life.” He whistled.

“I did what you wanted.” I spat at Satan. “What are you going to do to him?”

“That is none of your business, but I will make sure you get a good place in my kingdom.” He smiled coldly at Phil.

He grabbed Phil by the shirt collar but before he could vanish, I shouted, “Wait!”

Satan turned to glare at me, his once warm eyes, were cold with malice.

“I want to make another deal. My soul for Phil’s.”

“Dan, you can’t do-” But Phil was cut off by Satan’s hand in the air.

“Are you sure you want to give up your soul, again?” He let go of Phil and began his walk towards me. “You can offer it for much more than a petty soul.” He leered.

“Mine for his.” I stated firmly.

He snapped his fingers and Phil slid down hard on to his butt. “Done.” He thrusted his hands out, palms up. “Now time for yours.” He smiled cruelly.

I prayed to whoever was out there that the markings would work. I gave in and rested my hands on his warm ones. He began chanting, his voice getting louder and louder, shaking the whole apartment.

Only to dissipate himself back to Hell.

I sat down hard, the sudden pain knocking the breath out of me. Phil rushed to me and held me while the pain subsided.

“So. Did it work?” I shakily asked.

He held me closer, his breath on my neck. “Yes. He won’t bother us til death now.”

I closed my eyes, feeling safe in his arms.

After I was fully healed, we began dating. We decided to keep it secret because Phil really was afraid of what the fan base could do. But we left little hints in all of our videos together. Perhaps, we’ll announce it when we’re done with YouTube. Perhaps we never will and just keep it between us, letting the world decide. Perhaps, it was better that way.

#dan and phil #phanfiction

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lux-i-fer · 7 years

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In Sickness and Hell (COMPLETE)

Synopsis: Sickness never bothered Lucifer until it got ahold of Chloe

Ao3 link

Rating: T

Notes: Guys its been a year and two weeks in the making!! I'm done!! I'm so happy that this is finished!! I'm kind of on the fence about the ending, but tell me what you guys thought. Big thanks to anyone and everyone who read, commented, and subscribed; it meant a TON to me. Also special thanks to my beta for sticking with me ;) The poem Luci reads is Serenade by Edgar Allen Poe (do you think I have a favorite poet yet?) and the Milton scribbled in the corner came from Paradise Lost. Again, many thanks for loving and supporting this piece! I will now go take a nap just like deckerstar is.

Chapter Number: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Signing the release papers was almost as cathartic as dragging himself up the beach five years ago. What had only been about fifteen hours of panic had felt like an eternity for Lucifer. As if Amenadiel was purposely slowing time just to watch him suffer.

At the last pen stroke, a weight lifted from his shoulders until only a few shadows of fear still lingered in the corners of his mind.

Walking through the door of Chloe’s apartment made them claw their way back into his thoughts.

She made no move to shrug her jacket--which Lucifer had dutifully returned to her-- off her shoulders. She was still deathly pale; only a faint sheen of medication-induced blush painted her features.

Chloe made her way through the apartment, eyes flitting from thing to thing, but never stopped walking. Lucifer followed her all the same, still in a caffeinated haze and still afraid to let her out of his sight. He didn’t even pay attention to where his feet took him until they bumped against the bottom stair of the staircase.

“...Lucifer what are you doing?” she asked, voice quiet, but demanding. His mind couldn’t help but conjure the Detective he once knew. The one he never had to fuss over.

Lucifer willed his voice into what he hoped was innocent. “Are we not going upstairs to change?”

“ I am, you’re not.”

He gave a laugh that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Darling, I’ve seen everything there’s no need to be modest.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Modesty has nothing to do with it, my sanity does,” she said, letting the annoyance drip through her words. “I haven’t been alone since yesterday afternoon. You, the nurses, Dan, have all been hovering over me and if I go one more second with your sad eyes staring at me like I could keel over any second now, I’m going to go insane. So please, Lucifer, it’s five minutes.”

When he tried to open his mouth to protest, Chloe gave him a firm, but not angry, shove.

Lucifer stared up at her, his imagination running wild with death-filled scenarios that could happen the moment that he left her side.

He must have been lost in the illusion longer than he thought because her eyes softened and her palm slid from his chest. “I know you’re just trying to help, but I promise I’ll be fine,” she tried to reassure him.

She gave him a soft smile before disappearing up the rest of the stairs.

It took everything in Lucifer’s power not to follow her.

He sighed and wished for a bottle of whiskey and maybe a cigarette or two. Something to just take the edge off until he was certain she was fine.

Lucifer stared blankly at the bundle of clothes in his hand.

They’d made a quick stop at Lux for a change of clothes. Lucifer hadn’t failed to notice that someone had cleaned up his master bath as he’d made his way towards his closet.

Unconsciously, his fingers had skipped past his suits and vests. They’d pushed aside Armani and Prada alike until they’d come to rest on cheap cotton stuffed in the very back. He hadn’t really paid attention to which shirt he’d pulled off the hangar nor which of his few pajama pants he’d swiped.

Lucifer chuckled at them now.

With Chloe banishing him from the second level, he saw nothing left to do but drag himself to the guest bathroom.

Lucifer splashed water on his face and stared at himself in the mirror, unsure of just who exactly stared back. The reflection boasted sleepless eyes, the were clothes dirty and loose-fitting, and hair unkempt. He looked so vulnerable in the dim light of the bathroom, all devilish traces seemingly scrubbed away and replaced by a thin film of fear.

Smirking bitterly at his pathetic emotions, Lucifer began to undress. He folded his clothes from the day before back into their neat creases and tutted at their filthiness. His fingers drew over a long dried blood stain from when Chloe’s head had fallen against him, and then suddenly, he didn’t mind how dirty they were.

If her smile was the mud, her laugh the creases, and her happiness the blood; Lucifer would gladly do it over again. Whether that meant letting his emotions drown him or donning cheap pajamas for her comfort, he would sacrifice his sanity for hers in a heartbeat.

He finished slipping into the worn Bowie shirt he’d mindlessly grabbed from Lux and stepped back out into the living room to find Chloe making her way back down the stairs.

A tight smile graced her lips when she saw him.

“See, perfectly fine,” she said.

For the first time, Lucifer let himself believe her.

Now out from under the glaring hospital lights, her skin had lost the hollowness he’d watched crawl up her cheeks all morning.

She brushed past him and headed towards the kitchen, bundled in one of those oversized sweaters that she loved.

Lucifer turned to see her trying to put a few castaway dishes back into their rightful cupboards.

“What do you think you’re doing, Detective?”

“I’m cleaning up my house because my partner is being overprotective and my roommate doesn’t know how to put things away.”

He watched as she tried and failed to stretch to the top shelf of a cupboard. Sighing, Lucifer stepped behind her, took the plate from her hand, and put it away for her.

Chloe turned to face him, back pressed into the countertop.

“I like you like this,” she reached out, as if to trace the BOWIE block letters on his shirt, “Easier to read without that Armani suit of armor.”

Lucifer gave her a small smile.

“How about a deal then? I dress like this more often if you sit down and stop trying to get yourself killed.”

“I wouldn’t call internal bleeding my fault,” she said slyly.

Lucifer returned her look with a smirk of his own. “No, but if you keep this up surely it will be.”

She rolled her eyes in what he thought was both irritation and jest.

“Fine, just as long as you agree to stop doing--”

Lucifer willed his eyes to soften.

“ That.”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“ Right,” he offered a hand to her and she took it with a silent protest on her tongue.

He lead her out of the kitchen and towards the living room.

With a heavy sigh, he sunk into the corner of the couch, putting up the footrest in the process. It was lumpy and uncomfortable, but Lucifer couldn’t bring himself to care. His eyes fell closed and made a mental note to buy her a new one on Monday.

“I think they have more comfortable sofas in Hell,” he paused, brow furrowing. “No, I’m certain they do, because I did the decorating.”

He heard Chloe hum in sarcastic agreement and felt her sit down next to him.

Lucifer forced himself to keep his eyes closed as the seconds ticked by in agony. Finally, she blew out a defeated breath and curled into his side.

His eyes snapped open.

Her cheek rested delicately on his shoulder and Lucifer could feel each breath against his skin.

Blue eyes avoided his brown ones while Chloe drew her legs up to her chest and then let them spill into his lap.

She said nothing and neither did he.

The silence was comfortable, just as it had been in his flat all those hours ago. It was a warm and pleasant honey-coated buzz that drowned the tragedies of the night in gold.

“Luce?”

The nickname dripped from her lips like a prayer and Lucifer’s breath hitched.

He willed his blood to burn hotter, if only it meant to hear his name on those amber lips once more.

He swallowed thickly. “Mhmm?”

Chloe snuggled further into him with a yawn, the energy she had before seemingly dying away once again.

“Will you read something again?”

Lucifer willed himself to reach for his battered paperback off the side table. His fingers blindly shuffled the pages, his mind still all too focused on the Detective in his arms that had tamed the Devil in his soul.

For her, he would run through a thousand hospital corridors.

The very thought terrified him beyond belief. It was a pathetic shell of whatever had crawled up the beach five long years ago.

For four of those, Lucifer had distracted himself with booze, drugs, anything to dull the emptiness in his heart. At the thought of the fifth year, he couldn’t help the grin that split the corners of his mouth. Standing over the broken body of Delilah had ripped the hole that he’d desperately tried to close, wide open all over again.

Then there was her, the Detective, stepping under the lights of Lux and looking unamused by what had satisfied so many others. She had asked for nothing, but Lucifer had given her everything: a piece of him that no one else had had before.

Yes, he thought, for her, anything.

His concentration snapped as his fingers stopped on a page.

Lucifer knew without even looking at the page that this was the right poem. His eyes skipped over the title; he knew which one this was the moment he laid eyes on the smeared Milton in the corner:

So heavenly love shall outdo hellish hate.

The line was fitting, Lucifer supposed. He’d long forgotten which nightmare had driven him to scribble those words on that specific page next to that specific poem.

None of that mattered, though. What did matter was curled up against his chest, still cold and exhausted from her brush with death.

Chloe rested a hand flat against his chest, directly over his heart, dragging Lucifer back into reality. He tried to ignore how the heat of her palm made it skip and shudder. Pulling in a shaky breath, he turned back to the pages of poetry.

“So sweet the hour, so calm the time, I feel it more than half a crime,” he began softly, “When Nature sleeps and stars are mute, To mar the silence ev'n with lute.”

Chloe smiled sleepily and willed the couch to recline back as far as it could go before urging him to continue.

“At rest on ocean's brilliant dyes, An image of Elysium lies:”

Elysium’s perfection was cold compared to Chloe’s flawed warmth. Wrapped up in her embrace, Lucifer decided there was no other Heaven than in her arms.

“But list, O list,- so soft and low Thy lover's voice tonight shall flow, That, scarce awake, thy soul shall deem My words the music of a dream.”

Chloe shifted on top of him, but Lucifer read on.

“Thus, while no single sound too rude Upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls- O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love.”

Uttering the last line, Lucifer relaxed into the couch cushions. He lay breathless and at nothing and everything.

“I--Detective?” he asked gently. Lucifer glanced down to see Chloe asleep on his chest. “Chloe?”

When she didn’t respond, Lucifer sighed and closed the book as quietly as possible, placing it back onto the table. He stared at her sleeping form for a few seconds, absentmindedly carding his fingers through her hair.

Chloe’s breathing was peaceful for the first time that day.

Lucifer turned his attention to the ceiling. He imagined if he looked hard enough he could see his Father’s disapproving gaze from behind the dusky golden gates of Heaven. He flipped the apparition off, knowing full well his Father might never see it, omniscience be damned.

A dark smirk burst across his lips and he pulled Chloe protectively against him.

“You can’t have her yet, you son of a bitch.”

Lucifer brushed a ghost of a kiss on her forehead. Chloe stirred and shifted into his touch.

“Goodnight, Chloe,” he murmured before following her into the soft in-between realm of sleep.

#deckerstar #my fic #fanfic #lucifer on fox #lucifer morningstar #isah

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katybeth23 · 7 years

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Worries for another day (part 2)

A/N : I felt as if I had more to tell with this story, so here is part 2 ( the final part) to ‘Worries for another day’. I hope you all enjoy it. As always a huge thank you to @the-real-tc for her encouragement and for being my sounding board.

The weeks seemed to pass by quickly and before she had time to even think Lisa was heading off to what would be her last obstetric appointment before she was considered “full term”….. She and Jack had managed to travel through her pregnancy with very little concern, only a few “obsticals” along the way…but these were mainly due to Dan being difficult & doing his usual best go get under Lisa’s skin. He had made it perfectly clear that he thought the idea of Jack & Lisa becoming parents at their age 'absolutely insane’ and was making the transition { of Lisa taking a step back & her nephew Ben stepping in to her shoes at 'Fairfield’} a complete nightmare.

“Why must he always make my life so unbearable” Lisa sighed as she went through the mail on the way into her appointment. Lisa had being trying so hard to make the transition as straightforward as she could but after her last meeting with Dan and the 'Fairfield’ accountant Jack had put his foot down….and enough was enough… “Just let it go Lisa, he only does it to antagonise the situation and to get under your skin!…..we know what happened last time, so just leave it….please” Jack was furious with Dan, but had promised Amy and himself that he would keep his cool….the last time Lisa had met with him, she ended up in hospital for 3 days with hypertension & was at risk of going into early labour.

“You have made the right decision Lise, and Ben is more than capable ….I mean it’s only for the next few years, but he knows what he is doing & he is also well aware of what Dan’s like so like I said, just leave it”….Jack spoke firmly as he rested his hand on Lisa’s….. He glanced across at Lisa… He could see that look she got when she didn’t like what he was telling her, lips pursed & eye brows raised… “I just worry Lise…about you and the baby” his voice softened “It’s time for you to just concentrate on you…and taking it easy for a bit” Lisa looked across at Jack and smiled…she knew he was right….Ben was extremely competent and had more than enough qualifications along with common sense…she actually felt quite content that she had made the right decision…..it was only Dan that was driving her crazy.

Lisa looked back across at Jack, he was miles away in thought….she kept watching him as he drove…. She wandered to herself what these last few weeks of her pregnancy would be like….she had been so busy with the transition of “Fairfield” accross to her nephew, and in between that and trying to prepare herself as best she could for the new arrival she felt as if she had forgotten one thing….perhaps the most important thing, Jack. He was working so hard, and trying his best to look after her…and the baby. He very rarely complained and he been so patient with everything going on with Dan.. suddenly a wave of guilt came flooding over her…. She moved in her seat across to Jack and snuggled in against the warmth of his body…He turned in the drivers seat slightly so she could burrow right in, and leant down to kiss her forehead. “Jack”, she looked up at him…he looked down and smiled “Mmmmm” “I’m sorry….for being a bit 'pre occupied’ these past weeks…you know me, I just wanted to get things sorted….properly” “I know Lise, and I know you want to have things done right before the baby comes, I just worry….that’s all” he sighed “I know everything has been going smoothly and the doc is real happy with yours & the babies progress….but I just…..I dunno….worry, that’s all”.

Jack turned into the hospital car park and pulled up out front of the obstetrics rooms. “I don’t want to wrap you in cotton wool Lise, and I have tried to let you keep on as you normally would have, but I can’t help but worry….its just how I am…you are all I have and after what happened last month with Dan” He stopped and smiled as he got out of the truck and walked around to open her door… “Well I just might get out that cotton wool after all”….he chuckled as he leant in and kissed Lisa…he knew she hated him 'fussing’ but Jack somehow knew that Lisa relied on him now….more than ever.

“Lisa, you never cease to amaze me….both you and the baby are right on track, your blood pressure is normal & for a woman your age you have kept yourself in very good shape” …..Lisa glanced across at Jack and smirked…… “You are now 37 weeks and considered 'full term’, so it’s time now to slow down a little and rest while you can”….. Lisa’s obstetrition Dr. O'Sullivan was an old friend of Tim’s and even though he wasn’t a favourite of Jacks, he had to admit that he had been a wonderful doctor to Lisa right from the beginning… Dr O'Sullivan turned his focus to Jack “Now Jack, please make sure this wife of yours takes it easy these last few weeks, I don’t need to remind her how old she is, nor the fact that although everything up up to date has gone better than we could have anticipated”…….Jack looked across at Lisa….This was the part that scared him Dr O'Sullivan went on…. “This last part of the pregnancy along with the delivery are the most important and it’s essential that Lisa takes extra care of herself….I don’t want to worry you but with what happened last month Lisa is at some risk of hypertension and anything can happen between now and delivery, in particular to women in her age group” Jack could see that Lisa was nervous, she bit her lip in concentration…. “So plenty of rest, fresh air and try a little exercise each day if you can…please keep your stress levels to a minimum Lisa and absolutely no travel outside Hudson!”….. “Aside from that I will see you both back her in about 2 weeks…that is unless we have a baby between now and then”…. Jack stood up and shook Dr O'Sullivans hand, Lisa excused herself as she needed the bathroom before they headed home. “Thanks Doc” Dr O'Sullivan smiled…. “My pleasure Jack, She’s pretty amazing your wife, actually you both are….we don’t see too many woman at Lisa’s age with her past history fall pregnant naturally let alone enjoy such a healthy pregnancy”….. He looked at Jack and he spoke with such sincerity “I am confident Jack that these last weeks will be fine and Lisa’s delivery will be straight forward, but I must say that there are always risks and it’s my job to make sure these risks are kept as low as possible….so enjoy your last weeks together, have fun…but just take care”…. “I will doc, you need not worry about that….and thanks again”

Jack had a few errands to run whilst they were in town so Lisa opted to sit in the truck as he collected the last few things from maggie’s… The sun poured in the truck window and before she knew it Lisa had dozed off…. When he returned Jack smiled as he got in the drivers side….she was fast asleep, her head against the window. Jack rolled up his jacket and gently slipped it behind Lisa’s neck for support…. It wasn’t until they turned onto the dirt road and into 'Heartland’ that Lisa started to stir…. “Well hello sleepy head” Jack smiled as he looked over at Lisa…. “How long have I been asleep for?” “Oh it’s been a good hour I’d guess” Jack placed his hand on Lisa’ stomach…. “You musta needed it….both of you” he smiled

As they got out of the truck Lisa’s phone rang….it was Ben “Hey Aunt Lisa, how are you?… Jack left Lisa to talk to Ben as he carried in all the messages they had collected in town. "That was Ben…he wants me to go over to 'Fairfield’ to look a a few last things before the baby comes”…..Lisa’s voice hesitated….after what the doctor had said she wasn’t sure about what Jacks reaction would be like…. “Mmmmm, OK….but try and keep it short and sweet Lise, you heard what Dr O'Sullivan said….it’s time for you to rest up”….Jack trusted Lisa and didn’t want to nag her. “I know, and I will be don’t you worry. I’ll go over first thing tomorrow to see Ben and then spend the rest of the day here taking it easy”…….she looked up at Jack who had finished up bringing everything inside…. “I promise Jack…I really will take things easy now…. and as for Dan I have told Ben that I don’t want to deal with him anymore.Dan is his problem now”. Jack wrapped his strong arms around Lisa and pulled her in close… “Well that is good news! Jack half laughed….."Lucky Ben!” They both laughed as they stood on the verandah in each other’s embrace.

The following morning Jack woke early, Amy and Lou had spoken with him a few days previous, they had been planning a special dinner for he and Lisa, but in particular Lisa. She had told them both she didn’t want a 'baby shower’, but the girls really wanted to organise something special for her….she had always done whatever she could to help them both and although there had been times ( in particular with Lou) when she had 'stood on their toes as such’, they both felt a unique bond with Lisa and wanted to help celebrate the new baby. Jack rolled over and looked at Lisa, she was sleeping peacefully beside him. He smiled as he watched her for a moment….these past couple of months getting a good nights sleep had been difficult for Lisa. She had given in and brought herself a pregnancy pillow, which Jack had initially deemed 'ridiculous’. However these past 2-3 weeks Lisa had been sleeping extremely well….so Jack had to admit defeat. He quietly got up, covered Lisa with an extra quilt & made his way to the kitchen.

“Mmmmmm, is that coffee I can smell” he made his way to the kitchen table “Sure is! Freshly made just for you grandpa” Lou was busy making breakfast muffins, whilst Amy poured he & Lou a cup. “So grandpa are we all ok for tonight’s dinner? You haven’t told Lisa have you?” “We really want to surprise her” Lou smiled “Yep we have it all sorted grandpa, we just need you just need to get Lisa out of the house for a few hours this afternoon, and leave the rest to us” Amy added with a smile

~Jack new how much Lisa would be overcome with emotion by what Amy & Lou had organised…and it made him contented to think that they both cared for and loved her like they did ~

“Yup, I have some things to do in town, so I’ll get Lisa to come with me…we should be be out of your hair from about 3…that give you enough time?” He looked up at his granddaughters…

~ Sometimes Jack needed to pinch himself…he was an old man…a father to his late beloved Marion, grandfather to these two grown women and great grandfather to Georgie and Katie…and in a matter of weeks her would be a father again {almost 45 years after the first}. How did an old man like himself manage to find love again? How did an old man manage to find love not only with a beautiful woman, but one who was young enough to allow him the gift of fatherhood again? Jack had spent many a time thinking over his life, the good times and bad…but he knew that regardless of what he had endured it was the love he had found in Lisa, the second chance she had given him at life and the love of his family that made him….well…the luckiest man in the world.

“Grandpa! You ok?, you were a million miles away” Amy patted Jack on the shoulder as she went to grab her jacket. “ Yup, just thinking about how I am going to keep this secret from Lisa today, you know what she’s like when it comes to that sort of thing?”, Jack rolled his eyes “ Yeah, she is almost as bad as Lou is grandpa” Amy laughed as she smiled across at Lou “Very funny Amy, very funny” Lou added as both Jack and Amy laughed out loud. “Ok, I’m off, I have 'surprises’ to collect from the post office”. “See ya Grandpa….I’ll call you when I pick every thing up Lou” Amy headed off out the door into the cold morning air. “See ya honey….and thank you both for what you are doing for Lisa”. Both the girls looked at Jack and smiled.

Jack popped his head in the bedroom door, Lisa was just beginning to stir…Jack stood and watched for a moment…she rolled over and saw him standing there. “Hey you, what time is it?” She smiled a sleepy smile “Morning sleepy head” Jack came in and sat on the edge of their huge wooden bed “Well didn’t you sleep well….it’s almost 9 o'clock” “What? Almost 9! I told Ben I would meet him at 'Fairfield’ at 9:30!!” Lisa sat upright “Now Now” Jack rested his hand on Lisa’s….. “I rang Ben and told him you were still sleeping, so he is not expecting you until 10” Lisa looked at Jack and smiled, “Thank you” she said quietly “I haven’t slept this well in such a long time….I think I must have needed it” she continued “You sure did” Jack leant over and kissed her… “Mmmmmmmm” was all Lisa could manage to say, she pulled away and looked into Jacks eyes…. “Thank you….thank you for taking such good care of us” Lisa glanced down at her stomach before leaning in and returning Jacks kiss, then pulling him onto the bed… “Hey!…your coffee is getting cold and as much as I would like to stay here with you all day, you have to meet ben in under an hour” Jack shot Lisa a cheeky grin as he got up and went to head out the door…. “Oh” he stopped, turned and shot her another grin “And you don’t need to thank me Lise….I get all the thanks I need” Jack winked at Lisa before high tailing it out to the kitchen.

Jack came in from stacking small hay bales in the barn….it was 2 o’ clock, Lisa had been gone for hours and he needed to make sure she wasn’t here when Amy and Lou arrived home with all her 'surprises’. He tried to call Ben again ( he had tried twice in the past hour) but still there was no answer….where was she? Tim came in from checking the cattle in the far paddock….. “What’s going on Jack? Everything ok?….Where’s Lisa? ” He could see the worried look on Jacks face, and decided to tread carefully “I dunno, I have been trying to call for the last hour, but no answ”…… Before he could finish his phone rang….. “Is this Jack Bartlett?….this is Dr Smith from Hudson General Hospital, we need you to come in right away Mr Bartlett, we have your wife in here”….. Jack dropped his phone…Tim swooped in and continued with the call “Yes, no I am his son in law…..yes I understand” Tim listened…..then continued “Yes I will bring Jack in straight away!….is she ok? is the baby ok?” Tim went to his Truck…. “Yup we are on our way doctor”….,,

The next 30 mins were a blur for Jack…..Tim raced him into the hospital and stayed with him whilst he waited for Lisa’s obstetrician to see him…. “Jack” Dr O'Sullivan met him in the waiting room “Is she ok doc? Can I see her? What happened?” Jack spoke franticly “Jack Lisa is in the operating room, she is being 'prepped’ for an emergency caesarian”. Dr O'Sullivan continued “Lisa was brought in Jack with severe hypertension, she was at high risk of suffering a stroke….I have been able to use medication to lower her blood pressure, however she has gone into early labour which unbeknown to us has caused a pre existing cyst on her ovary to burst”….. Tim never left Jacks side as the doctor continued to explain Lisa’s condition “Lisa has lost an enormous about of blood Jack and your Baby was in foetal distress, I have no other option than to perform an emergency caesarian whilst giving her a blood transfusion….” “I am confident that Lisa will be ok Jack, she is defiantly a fighter….but it was close…far to close to my liking” Dr O’ Sullivan paused for a moment before placing his hand on Jacks right shoulder… “Everything will be ok Jack….now let’s get you robed up and into the operating room waiting area”. Tim looked at Jack and smiled, “She’s a fighter old man…and she needs you now more than ever before….now go” Tim patted Jack on the back as he followed Dr O'Sullivan into the theatre area.

Jack paced the floor of the waiting area….because Lisa required a General anaesthetic Jack was not permitted into the operating room itself…and what felt like a lifetime to Jack was in actual fact under 20 mins. He glanced up at the clock 3:08 pm….he heard a baby cry…it was their baby…and it was a sound that brought Jack close to tears…. “Mr Bartlett?” Jack heard a woman’s voice behind him “Mr Bartlett, I am Susie, one of the nurses….would you come with me please?”…She touched his arm and smiled as she lead Jack through the green double doors “Mr Bartlett” Jack interrupted…. “Please, call me Jack” he smiled at the young nurse who wouldn’t have been a day over 25 “Sure…..Jack, there is someone here I would like you to meet…this is your son”. she smiled as she handed Jack a tiny bundle wrapped in a white and blue striped hospital blanket…. Jack was so overcome with emotion that all he could say was a whispered “thank you” As he looked down at the tiny baby boy the lay in his arms tears formed in his eyes, slid down his cheeks and into his unshaven stubble…. “ How is Lisa? Is she ok?….please tell me she is ok” “Your wife has done amazing well Jack, her surgery went better than we hoped and she is now in recovery”…..Susie’s voice was full of compassion “Dr O'Sullivan will be out in a moment to speak with you”…. “Oh and congratulations Jack, he sure is perfect” she gave jack a smile as she headed back into the recovery area.

~Jack sat with his new born son in his arms…how lucky was he to have this little boy in his life, to have the son he had so often wished for…and to have been blessed with fatherhood all over again. As he looked down at this tiny baby, soft pale skin, light brown hair and a tiny button nose and perfect lips like his mothers….Jack began to hum him a lullaby….

“congratulations Jack” Dr O'Sullivan greeted him with a smile “He is a beauty, that’s for sure” “He sure is doc….I can’t thank you enough” Jack’s voice was husky with emotion “How’s Lisa? Can I see her?” Jack almost pleaded “Lisa is doing remarkably well Jack, she is a resilient woman”…..the doctor continued “She lost a lot of blood, so she will be very weak over these next few days, but her surgery went really well and she is already asking for you in recovery” Jack smiled and sighed a huge sigh of relief. “I don’t want to alarm you Jack, but this very well could have ended quite differently. I don’t know what happened whilst she was over at 'Fairfield’ this morning, but whatever it was put her blood pressure through the roof”…. Dr O'Sullivan gave Jack a pat on his back as he ushered him towards the recovery unit. “Lisa doesn’t know that she has a son, we thought we would leave it to you to share the news” and with that Dr O'Sullivan showed Jack into Lisa’s room. As Jack carried their new baby towards her bedside, Lisa stirred….she slowly opened her eyes and looked at at him…. “Jack” Lisa whispered in a soft voice She looked so pale, but so beautiful….Jack thought to himself “I’m so sorry”…..Lisa began to cry It broke Jacks heart to see her like this. “Oh Lise…..shhhhhh, please don’t cry” Jack sat on the edge of her bed, leant forward and kissed her softly “And please don’t ever say your sorry”….. He murmured “ Lise, I have someone I think you might like to meet”…. And as he placed the tiny bundle into Lisa’s arms “Your son”

All these months Lisa had spent trying to prepare herself for this moment…..yet nothing could have ever prepared her for the love she felt for this little boy the minute Jack placed him in her arms…. Even after what she had just been through, Lisa felt a wave of emotion and felt a bond with Jack that she couldn’t have imagined possible. The two of them had been through so much over the years and Lisa loved him unlike anyone else…yet in the moment her love for this old cowboy….the father of her child had reached a whole new level. “I love you Jack” she spoke softly into his ear as their baby nuzzled into her chest. …….“And I love you too Lise, more than you will ever know” Jack’ voice was as he battled to hold back tears “I am just so relieved that you….that you are both ok”

There was a knock at the door…. “Come in doc” Jack stood to greet Dr O'Sullivan “Congratulations Lisa, he is perfect” “Thank you” she replied sincerely “He is the most perfect thing I have ever seen” her eyes were fixed on her tiny son

“So……In a nut shell Lisa” Dr O'Sullivan began…. “this was a very VERY close call, you lost over half of your bodies blood and you were extremely close to suffering what could have been a major stroke” …Dr O'Sullivan was renowned for being rather blunt, but it was important that both Jack and Lisa understood how serious Lisa’s condition was and how important the following weeks were to her long term recovery. “Lisa it is essential that over the next 8 weeks you rest as much as you can, you are unable to lift anything for at least a month and it is vital that you monitor your blood pressure twice daily over the next 6 months. Although this could have been avoided, it’s reality and now we must follow this recovery process”. Dr O'Sullivan sat down beside Lisa and looked her straight in the eye, yet spoke with a genuine care and compassion…. “Lisa, although you are a fit woman for your age, you are still only human and you must understand that the outcome could have been very different…you had us all very worried, no one more so than Jack….there is no doubt about it Lisa, that man loves you like crazy. But he needs you too…as does this little one” Dr O'Sullivan placed his hand on the tiny boys head and stroked it gently. “I will be back tomorrow morning to discuss your discharge for later this week…but for now Lisa, please get some rest”… “Thank you Dr O'Sullivan….thank you so very much” As he headed out the door he turned and smiled “It was my pleasure”…..

“Congratulations Grandpa!! Oh my god is Lisa ok?, is the baby ok?, what happened?” The questions were coming faster than Jack could get a word in…. After ensuring everyone that both Lisa and their new baby we’re doing well, Jack was given strict instructions from Lisa that she was to be woken when the family arrived to visit later that evening… He had insisted she hold off on visitors until tomorrow, but as always Lisa would have non of it and made Jack promise to wake her when the family arrived. “So Lise” Jack sat down beside her as she attempted to eat a little supper “I have been thinking about what to name our son”…. Lisa looked up at Jack, it was still surreal that she and Jack had a new baby…and that she was in fact….a mother “Mmmmmm, I have been thinking about it too” she said softly Lisa had from the moment she learned of her pregnancy decided that if the baby was to be a boy she wanted to honour Jack in some way… “Well….given everything you have been through Lise, I think that you should make the final decision” Jack was firm yet looked at Lisa with a love in his eyes that she had come to know so well…. Lisa looked at Jack, her piercing blue eyes he thought were as beautiful as always and although he knew how exhausted she was after her ordeal she had began to get colour back in her face and blush in her cheeks… “Samuel Jackson Bartlett” Lisa spoke gently as she looked down at the tiny baby asleep in his hospital crib… And in that moment all Jack could do was embrace Lisa, hold her tight & whisper “it’s perfect Lise”……

The first week seemed to come and go quickly. All Lisa’s follow up tests came back with great results and little Samuel was thriving. “Well I think Jack can finally take you both home today” these were the words Lisa had been anxious to hear. “Thanks Doc” Jack shook Dr O'Sullivans hand as he helped Lisa pack her things.

As they drove home both sat quietly, lost deep in thought… Jack glanced across at Lisa, she had her eyes closed and was smiling…almost as if she was soaking up the rays which streamed through the window of her SUV. He smiled to himself as he watched her…she was glowing…motherhood most defiantly suited her he thought t himself. Lisa must have sensed that Jack was watching her….she opened her weary eyes & glanced over to him…. “Whatcha thinking about cowboy” She said playfully Jack paused then reached out & touched Lisa’s arm… “Oh just at how beautiful you look….and how much being a mom suits you” Lisa scrunched up her nose….then leant over and kissed Jack “Well thank you” Lisa blushed….. “I don’t know about the beautiful part, but I never realised how much motherhood changes you”…..she leant in and kissed Jack again… “Just how much you can love this tiny person you have only just met” “So thank you” she smiled Jack was a little lost…. “What for” he enquired As he turned onto the dirt road, towards 'Heartland’….Lisa whispered as she peered lovingly into the back where little Samuel slept peacefully in his capsule…. “For giving me the most precious gift of all…our son” ~ It was Saturday and the morning sun shone brightly through the kitchen window as Jack quietly made a fresh pot of coffee. Lisa had been up only twice during the night to feed Sam, but he seemed to re settle so well afterwards that Lisa had decided to let Jack sleep through rather than wake him. ( the doctor had advised Lisa to be carful with lifting etc early on, so Jack had been getting up to assist with feeds). She felt like she had it under control now so she had let Jack sleep through these past couple of nights.He was greatful for this as things were busy at 'Heartland’ and with winter fast approaching he had his hands full getting hay ready and cattle moved.

Today was Samuel’s naming ceremony and like always there was a hive of activity at 'Heartland’. Jack and Lisa had decided early on that they would ask Amy and Ty to be godparents and Jack was especially looking forward to this particular naming ceremony, one for obvious reasons but the other because he had a little surprise planned…. Somehow throughout the years and through all the Bartlett naming ceremonies Lisa had not yet chosen her stone above the fire place….so Jack had thought to himself soon after she had told him she was pregnant that when the time came this would be not only a special day for their new baby, but also for Lisa. She had been such an important part of the family for so many years now that Jack felt a sense of sadness that it had taken this long for her to 'take her place’ above the fire…. She had never hinted nor asked about not having chosen her own stone, however Jack knew just how much family meant to Lisa…and just how much this would mean to her.

As the ceremony came to an end, Amy & Ty together had placed little Samuel’s tiny right hand on his newly appointed stone ( just above jacks & slightly to the right), Jack stepped forward. “There is one more very special member of this family who needs to choose their stone today” He smiled broadly as he looked across at Lisa… Jack continued… “Lisa has been a part of this family for so many years now and I am sorry Lise that it has taken this long”…..he paused, stepped towards Lisa and took her left hand in his… “You are such a special part of our lives…of my life, and you will never know just how greatful I am for the gift that you have given me”… Lisa looked up at Jack and wiped away the tears that had welled in his eyes…. “Now it’s your turn to choose your stone above the Bartlett fireplace Lise” his voice was husky with emotion ~ Lisa paused for a moment, she looked at Jacks stone, chosen so many years ago…and then at baby Samuel’s stone, freshly chosen today. Generations of tradition, of pride and of love. Lisa noticed a very small piece of stone, tucked in slightly above Jack, yet below Sam’s….perfect she thought to herself, right in between my two favourite men… And with a smile, Lisa placed her hand on the little stone between her boys and said softly, yet firmly to Jack… “I choose this one…this is my stone” .

#heartland #heartland fanfiction #jisa #jack bartlett #lisa stillman #my fics

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minieeyore · 7 years

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I don’t know how I get through the days. Especially right now, when I give myself the time to actually think… this is so hard. I know and understand that from mama’s passing experience that some days will be okay, a lot easier to deal with and other days would be a lot harder… logically I know that. But going through this phase again for the second time, when I – we- haven’t even finish mourning or totally moving on with mama’s passing… ya Allah… Cuma Allah saja tahu apa dalam hati ani.

Ya Allah please grant me & my family strength to go through this the second time. Please keep us in your straight path and don’t let us stray. Ujian yang besar kau bagi and sometimes, I feel like I’m not strong enough to bear this. People say ‘you’re so strong’ and I feel like such a fraud… I’m only able to put a brave front and be strong because I cry my sorrow, mourning, feelings into the quiet of the night. I let myself cry when I drive around in the car as I remember I always supir Mama and Babah before… to look at the passenger seats where they always sat now – empty. Empty like the hollowed feeling in my chest… when people say they feel a piece of them was gone along and hollowed when a loved one passed away, I understand now. Well, have been since Mama.

I got my finger tekapit arah kerita today and it hurts like a beach. It saddens me that I cant complain this kind of detail to mama babah anymore… they’d fuss over me & mama would probably tiupkan and bacakan my hand and giving suggestion on how to make it heal as fast. I miss being called sayang by them and being dotted on. No more parents to baby me and give kasih sayang. Rasa rindu dan sedih yang teramat sangat.

This is the cycle of life though. eventually all will meet their end, back to their creator. I am not unfortunate, kena bagi peluang yang sekian lama ani. Right now it is so hard to see past my own circumstance. Babah’s passing is still fresh and kami masih dalam process mourning. Kena always ingat ajal ani bila masa, ada orang ajal nya lebih awal, ada yang parents pulang witness anak dorang pergi dari diorang terlebih dahulu.... Lain orang lain circumstances nya. May all of us be given ease when given hardship, and mudahan kami ani ready and equipped to face our creator when it is our turn to go back to HIm.

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littlellamalittlelion · 7 years

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My Little Baby Llama - Part 11

N/A: I’m sorry it took too long. I can’t write when I’m in bad shape, and trust me, I’ve met my worse these past few months. But I’m back now, and things will get better :) Enjoy the chapter!

For those of you that might be a bit confused, this fic is happening around the end of January/2016. Before the tour dates release.

Words: 3400+

Disclaimer: Nor Dan or Phil belongs to me, and while I wish I had a Lizzie in real life, I do not have one either.

Masterpost

Dan’s POV

I need Phil. Things get harder when he isn't around. It has been only six hours since he left to his house back in the North, for his birthday celebration with his family, and I already feel like I can't do this alone anymore. The problem isn't Lizzie, she is great, and she is taking things so much better than I thought she would. The problem is me. I don't feel like I am strong enough to deal with everything that is piling up over me if I'm alone.

I know I shouldn't be codependent on Phil, or anyone else for that matters, but in the middle of the mess that I've been thrown into, I just can't stop feeling that I'm not enough.

I'm not enough of an adult, to be a good single father. I'm not enough of a son, to make sure to keep my mom informed about everything that is happening. I'm not a good professional enough to prepare a world tour by myself while Phil is having a weekend off. And I'm not a good friend enough to let Phil have a weekend off without feeling jealous of him. For the past 20 minutes I've been pretending to be a prince, ready to save it's princess from the beast protecting her castle, but I can't stop thinking that I'm not enough of a prince either, I can't save anyone.

"And booom! You died." Said Lizzie, trowing my prince doll on the floor.

"Wait, what?" I ask, pushing my attention back to our little play.

"You died. You weren't paying attention and the monster caught you." She said, pointing to the monster in our little game stage.

"But who is going to save you, my beautiful princess, from this oh terrible monster?" I make my worst Shakespearean accent, to make her laugh.

"I'm a strong independent princess, I don't need a prince to save me." She said placing her hands in her waist. Clary taught her right.

"So why did you ask me to be your prince, my warrior princess?" I joke, getting up from my sitting state to a one-knee position, to bound to her. Instead of laughing as I thought she would do, she held her head down. "Hey little llama, what's wrong?" I ask, trying to get into an eye to eye position with her, but she made it even harder putting her little hands in her face.

"I wanted you to play with me because you haven't been with me anymore. I wake up and you are not with me in the bed, you're with uncle Philly. When I want to play outside, you don't go with me. When I want to have ice cream, Auntie Louise or Nana takes me out. When I'm hungry, Uncle Philly makes me pancakes. When I need a shower, you tell me that I am a big girl and you don't help me much. Why don't you want to be with me anymore, Daddy? Is it because Mommy died and you don't like me without her?" She asked with her sweet voice, breaking my heart.

"Of course not baby llama. Don't you ever think something like that again. I love you so much, you are my little bottle of light in life, I will always love you and want you around." I pull her into my arms. "Nana, Phil and Louise are just trying to help."

"I don't want their help, I want Daddy." She cries.

"Daddy is right here honey, I promise you that I'll never stop loving you or caring about you."

"So why don't you ever go out with me?"

"I don't know honey. I think I was too afraid of what people would say or do when they found out that you exist. Some of the people that likes me and uncle Phil, they don't actually have their heads in the right place. They want to know our address to wait outside in the streets, wondering around to pretend they were just passing by. They want to invade our privacy and make a huge fuss about it. They don't know you exist yet because if they did know they would probably follow you to school, try to kidnap you just to have a picture with me and Phil, or do something even worse just to post on Twitter that they know where we live and they have pictures with us or something like that. I know it's not fair with you little llama, but I'm scared of them."

"I don't understand Daddy."

"I know you don't, but you will one day, and you'll probably hate me and all of my fans when you do, but right now I just can't make myself trust them with your life, because I don't trust them with mine yet."

"I would never hate you daddy."

"I'll hold you to that in the future." I hug her even stronger and then I let her go. "Now, who wants to watch some cartoons eating popcorn?"

“Can we have some jelly too?” She asked, smiling and getting up from the floor.

“We don’t have any jelly here Lizzie, we can make some tomorrow.” I answer, trying not to make her sad again. “Maybe, maybe we can go out for some ice cream later, what do you think?” That might be my worst idea ever, but the smile in her face makes it worth it. She agrees with her head, starting to pack her toys. “Great! Go put your toys in the box in our room, and I’ll make the popcorn.” She obeys, grabbing everything and running thru the hallway, “Don’t run!” I scream to her, but she is already far. I move to the kitchen to start making us the snack, and my phone rings. It’s Phil on Facetime.

“Hello!” He says, when his face shows up in my phone. “I’m home!”

“Yep, you told me that hours ago in your text.” I answer, placing my phone in one of the cabinets so I could look for the things I needed. “How was the train ride?”

“Crazy! There was this weird kid next to me, I thin she was possessed by a ravenous hamster or something like that.”

“What? A ravenous hamster? Why?” I ask, stopping everything I’m doing, in shock. There are just a few things in life that shocks me, most of them are things that happens to Phil on a daily basis.

“Well, she was eating cheese, non-stop, while making weird rodent noises. And she used her knuckles to push food from the back of her teeth to the front of her mouth. I’m telling you, she was possessed.” His face was priceless.

“So, what scared you the most? The rodent noises of the non-stop cheese eating?” I ask, returning my attention to the popcorn on the microwave.

“The cheese eating, for sure.” He laughs. “So tell me, what have you two been doing since I left?”

“Well, we watched some cartoons, played a bit, Lizzie spread cream cheese all over your bed, now I’m making some popcorn to watch some movies. You know, same as always.” I joked, but with a serious face, trying to prank him a bit.

“CREAM CHEESE? You’re gonna clear it! I don’t care if you were the one to do the laundry, you’re gonna wash it.” He was mad.

“I’m joking Philly. You’re bed is safe from the white creamy mess, don’t worry.” I laugh.

“Safe from ALL white creamy mess? You know, I’ll be mad if I get home and there is some white shit in my sheets, we just washed it.” He joked back. I can’t let this opportunity pass.

“I can’t promise its clean of all the creamy mess, you know, first time in weeks I have a room to myself.” The eyebrows raise has the intention of trowing him off, and its effective.

“Ew Dan, no! Disgusting mental image.”

“You started it.” I say, laughing taking the popcorn out of the microwave and placing it into a bowl. “No, wait, I started it. Forget about it. So, how’s your old room? Still smelling like a funeral home?”

“Thank God no. Mom didn’t put flowers on it this time. I miss my plant friends, but I’m happy that my room doesn’t smell like a 90 years old lady.” He looks around to make sure his mom isn’t hearing him, once he is sure he is fine, he returns the attention to Dan in the phone. “Where’s Lizzie? I miss her already.” He asked. I look around me in the kitchen and I don’t see her. I asked her to put her toys away, but she’s too quiet now, and that scares me. I leave the kitchen without picking up my phone, so I can search for her. I scream her name around the house, but she doesn’t answer me. I look around my room, around Phil’s room, the lobby and at the bathroom. I can’t find her. My heart is almost umping out of my chest, when I find her asleep in the sofa-bed at the office. I wait for my heart to pick up a normal pace before remembering Phil on facetime, at the kitchen.

“Sorry Phil, I just panicked for a second.” I say, entering the kitchen back. Phil is standing in the middle of his room making a mess with his backpack.

“What happened? Where is she? I was about to start packing to go back home.” He said as soon he saw that I was back.

“She is just sleeping, at the office couch.” I say, finally relaxing too. “She didn’t have a nap time today, I completely forgot.” I grab my popcorn and move to the lobby. I’m barely sat at the couch when Phil starts screaming at me.

“Dan!!! I left you my to-do list. Its in the fridge door. She needs at least an hour nap everyday, usually around 3pm. And we play in the backyard around sunset, when the lighting is bed over there, and people can’t see who’s there. I told you she would miss that! You have to do both of our jobs while I’m out.” Phil made sure to let me know. “Wait, why are you crying? Dan? Why are you crying? TALK TO ME!”

“You are screaming at me because I’m a horrible father.”

“No, no, no, you are not a horrible father Dan. You are an amazing father, you just need to do both of our jobs for a few days, and you are not used to it.”

“Its not your job. I’m her father, I’m supposed to be able to do all of this by myself. I’m supposed to know a ll of it, and to do all of it everyday. If I didn’t have you, I would have to deal with all of this by myself, but I can’t. I don’t know if I can. I don’t know how to be a single father Phil, I don’t know how to take care of a child without help. My dad was right. She needs him and my mom, my brother, her aunt, and everyone that she can get around her. We are not enough for her. She needs a stable house, not two guys who needs to check the sunset time to plan the hours to go out with her without fans noticing us and destroying her future.” I take a long breath before continuing. “I don’t think we can do it, I don’t think we should do it. I don’t feel like we are doing the right thing anymore.”

“STOP. Dan, just stop. You are letting your fear talk over you. We have been over this, we can do it. You can do it. You are an amazing father and I am pretty sure that Lizzie prefers to be with you than with your parents. You are her favorite person in the whole word, Danny, and you are completely able to raise your daughter, even if I wasn’t on board to help you with this, and I am, you could handle it just fine."

"What if she doesn't want me to do it?"

"Dan, Lizzie is loving it. She loves our flat and London, she is sad because of her mom, of course, but she is really happy there with us. She wants us to do it, and she needs us to be consistent with her caring. We can't keep moving her back to your parents house everytime you feel that this is too much. As you've said, she needs an stable house, and as long as we continue taking care of her, as we have been since we've got back home, she will have one."

"I wasn't talking about Lizzie." I say, making a pause, but Phil waits for me to continue. "I was thinking about Clary." I swallow my tears before continuing. "We have never talked about Lizzie's guard in case of her death, or mine for that matters, and I have no idea if she would approve this arrangement of ours or not. Maybe she would prefer my parents to raise Lizzie. Maybe she wouldn't like the fact that Lizzie is growing in a big city with so much danger and craziness around her. Maybe she would like Riley to have her, we don't know. How can I do something without knowing?"

"You are letting your fears talk again. You need to be rational. Remember that Clary grew up without both of her parents and she always said that she would do anything for the opportunity of having one of them with her when she was growing up. Of course she would want you to be with Lizzie, there is no doubt there." Phil tried to put some sense in my thoughts, noticing that I was losing it. "If that is not enough to make up your mind, think about the way you were raised and the way you want your daughter to be raised. You have great parents, but you really want Lizzie to grow up with their beliefs and way to see the word? You know that their generation isn't the most liberal that exists and the small town way of thinking isn't the greatest one for nowadays children. Do you really think that this is what Clarisse wants for her? Not trying to judge your parents, but do you really think that you dad's beliefs on the LGBT community is what you want your daughter to have?"

"No, of course not. I want her to be a good human being. That is why I keep thinking that I may not be enough, that I might do something wrong and destroy her future. I don't want to do that."

"So don't do that. We are humans and we are bound to make mistakes, but you can try your best to not cause any harm with yours." Phil said, making his point. "I need to go in a few minutes, mom needs help with dinner since Martyn and Cornelia are coming too. She keeps asking about you and Lizzie. She doesn't accept the fact that you are not coming to my birthday."

"I'm sorry. I really am. I wish we could go, but there is no way I can get in a 4 hours train ride with Lizzie and not get outed to the world."

"Well, she misses Lizzie. She still talks about the fact that we took two years to tell her, but she is so in love with that kid that I think she would prefer having Lizzie here for my birthday, than having me."

"Well, what can I say? She got my charm."

"And Clary's charisma, that's a fatal combination." He agreed. "You should go wake her up, or she won't sleep during the night. Try to take her out of the house for a few minutes so she can have some air and play a bit. I'll go help my mom and we can talk before bed."

"Alright, have fun with your family."

"Thank you. Bye Dan, I love you." He says, warming my heart.

"I love you too." We disconnect.

I finish eating my popcorn and cleaning the mess we've made, before waking Lizzie up. We decide to go out for that ice cream we were talking about earlier, I make sure to put a nice hoodie on, and cover her with jackets, before going out in the cold air of London. As soon as we step outside we notice that today isn't probably the best to go out for ice cream, since it's snowing.

"Hey Lizzie, how about a hot cocoa instead of ice cream?" I ask her, while holding her little hand on the streets. I'm afraid of everyone that passes by. I have a hoodie on and glasses, and I expect not being recognized since I have a kid with me, and Phil isn't by nmy side, but I'm always worried that someone will notice me and destroy Lizzie's life.

"I love hot cocoa. After that can we go ice skating too?" She asks, looking up to make a Pussy in Boots face.

"Yes, we can do that." I answer, trying to think of a nice ice skating rink where I might be able to stay incognito. The snow is getting stronger so I put Lizzie in my arms and get us a cab, instead of taking the tube. Precautions are never too much.

"Hey daddy, can we buy uncle Phil a gift?" Asked my baby girl, when we were safe and warm inside of the cab.

"Yes, of course my baby girl. What do you want to get him?" She thinks for a few seconds before answering.

"Do you think we can get him a baby girl too?"

"Wait, what? A baby girl? Why?" I'm kinda in shock and don't actually know what to answer.

"Yeah, like you have me. You once said that I was the best gift that mommy ever gave you, and I wanted to give uncle Phil the best gift ever. Do you think we can get him a Lizzie of his own?" I choke on air when I understand what she is saying.

“I don’t think that is possible Lizzie.”

“Why not?” Great question, why can’t I give Phil a daughter?

“Ahm… I… That’s the thing Lizzie, to get a baby you need a mommy and a daddy, and it takes time, love, and I lot of things that hopefully you only will learn about in 10 years or so.” I hear the cab driver laughing at me, and I try not panic with the face Lizzie is making at me. “What about a plushie? We can get him a plushie! He will love it!”

“Like Miss Llama?” She asks, completely over the other subject, for my happiness. “I don’t think he will like Miss Llama.”

“And what do you think he will like?” At this point I’ll buy her anything she wants to give Phil, anything to stay out of the babies subject.

“A LEGO CASTLE! He gave me a Frozen Castle for Christmas, and mommy always said that we only give gifts that we would like to get ourselves. I want to give him a lego castle. Can we get it for him Daddy?” She asks, really excited.

“Yes, of course! We will get him a lego castle, tomorrow morning, okay? Now lets go get that hot cocoa so we can bust our asses in ice later.” Did I just said ass to my four year old daughter? “Wait, forget I said that, don’t tell your mom… Don’t tell uncle Phil I said that.” I correct myself before she notices it, the cab driver is still laughing when the car stops. I make sure Lizzie has a nice cup of hot cocoa, and that she is really protected from the ice when we start skating. It took us over ten falls, and an almost broken arm, on my side, to get us out of the ice rink, and straight to a nice fun restaurant, close to the apartment.

Lizzie fell asleep in my arms before we got home, and I made sure to take her out of the wet clothes and into nice warm pajamas, before putting her to bed. I make sure to call Phil and let him know that everything went right during the day, before taking a shower and opening my computer. But nothing was right when I logged on my twitter account, and pictures of me and Lizzie were all over my mentions, all over the internet.

I think I’ll pass out.

Part 12

#my baby little llama #my little baby llama #dan and phil #phan #phanfiction

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