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toxicanonymity · 10 months

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Q: if another man succeeded w/ sweet pea

WARNINGS: aftermath of rape, angst!!, might give you emotions? be careful with this one

raider master list

Anonymous asked: hiya toxic. Hypothetical raider question because he’s been taking over my life.

Hypothetically- if someone else had reader would he still want her? I mean we know canonically he makes her his because there’s something about her. And we know he doesn’t love her but I’m assuming that someone violating something that he considers his property would piss him the fuck off. What his reaction towards reader would be is something that I’m waaay too fascinated with. Like would he feel bad for her? Or would he feel worse for himself? Would he claim her immediately again or give her time to recover? Would he even want her anymore? Because reader admits she loves him we can assume this is a non con type situation. But would Joel doubt her loyalty to him? Sorry for the college essay I threw in your inbox haha! Thanks for all the awesome content you put out 🖤

Hi! Thank you for reading 🖤🫶

Joel would still want her. If he didn't, the implication would be that another man is powerful and dominant enough to take her away from him - no way.

His reaction could be similar to raider 4: failed escape when FEDRA touched her, but more extreme in a way. Like he might not realize how rough he's bathing her until he sees a dead look in her eyes and starts to be more gentle.

First he needs to get any trace of them off her physically. Then yeah he probably wants to reclaim her in a way. He can give her a rest from penetration but wants to at least kiss it better.

I don't think he would question her loyalty. I think right in the moment, anger is the first thing he would feel (not toward her), in the dominant/possessive context of someone fucking with what's his since that's how he's wired, but then he finds it's more than that. I think he would quickly feel bad for her too.

He would also feel like a failure (as he alludes to in raider 4) since the pretext of taking her was to protect her. He might have nightmares and feel like he doesn't deserve her. He might briefly pull away like Joel does from Ellie in canon.

But she'd make an affectionate gesture he just can't resist like getting all the way on top of him in bed to sleep, and he feels a tear roll onto his neck, and all the tension leaves his body and he hugs her like he means it again. Then fucks her?

#raider!ask #tw noncon #tw rape #ask #raider!analysis #dark!joel miller #raider!joel

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blackplaaague · 8 months

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🌡🧪💉Hey, y'all! 🌡🧪💉

☢️ Blackplaaague here! ☢️

🩻 I'm a comic artist, internet cartoonist, and goofy little guy who enjoys voice acting, diy clothing, doll customization, and hyperfixating on weird, niche lore for weird, niche things! 🩻

Art sideblog: https://www.tumblr.com/blackplaaaguesketchbook

Why I alternate text: https://www.tumblr.com/blackplaaague/730625551588540416/how-exactly-does-bolding-your-words-help-you-read?source=share

Boundaries:

🗝 I'm currently writing Victoria Darken, a part-comedy, part-horror, sapphic love story about a feral scientist in a city full of cryptids, set in the 1910s. 🗝

🥼 I have other projects going on behind the scenes, too... let's just say I love cosplay! 🥼

🧪 Feel free to drop by anytime to ask me a question or just to chat. I post a lot more memes than art. Anyone can interact, as long as: 🧪

~You aren't here to spread hate

~You're not Racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/aphobic/etc

~Only interacting with an 18+ blog

~Also, no terfs, please, that kind of mindset kinda messes with my vibes :|

>:)

About me!

🩵🤍🩶 I am a demigender/genderqueer person who uses they/he pronouns, but I'd be fine with being called an it if you're using it in a reclaimed way. 🩵🤍🩶

⚠️ My name is Ellis, but I also go by Corvus and Viktor because those are my personally-selected middle names and they go hard. ⚠️

☣️ I'm a baby punk, new to the subculture, and I'd love tips and band recs! ☣️

💉 I write my own music, and want to get into dollmaking and wig styling. 💉

🥩 My whole aesthetic is a combination of, like... rotting meat, mad-science-looking-radioactive stuff, and classic punk, so my blog is kind of styled like that. 🥩

☢️ I'm a big fan of a lot of things, but I don't like fandom culture just because of a long history of being bullied. ☢️

💚 I alternate my text like this to help my pals with ADHD read through long text faster, it really works! 💚

Tags I use:

Fnoof: this is how I tag FNaF-related posts. I also have "Link" for all of the Zelda franchise and "he head a cup" for Cuphead. I'm very sorry for being cringe about my favorite video games. It will happen again.

Link: We just explained this

He head a cup: we just explained this, too

VD stuff: me rambling about my webcomic

BP rambles: literally anything I said, in the tags or my own post, that I think is funny. There's some gems in there.

VD spoilers: this is, obviously, spoilers for my comic. Spoilers/gore/other stuff like that is always tagged with a simple tw tag.

Mother Corporation: this is my FNaF AU that I had to make because I couldn't bear to let one of the games of all time rot in a muddle of confusing plotlines and pixel-art character models when I could rewrite half the games on a whim. It's actually pretty good, and only about as canon-deviant as the books and stuff, but I'm aware it's cringe of me so you can filter that tag out if you want.

I love you platonically: positivity and mental health reminders

Summoning the mutuals: I'm tagging people in this post and it could be you.

Peace and love on planet punk rock: this has been a psa about what punk is (a subculture about self-expression, uplifting those smaller than you, and overthrowing bigotry) and what it is not (homophobia, racism, transphobia, etc)

Daily reminder to stay alive: all the posts from my "list to stay alive" queue. I could've made a sideblog, but those always take a long time to get going and I get hundreds of reblogs from friends here who needed it. I'm just glad to help people with them.

Ellis' sketchbook/Blackplaaague's sketchbook: art posts also uploaded on my sideblog @blackplaaaguesketchbook

I'll keep adding new tags and updates as I get new interests and such. This blog is as fluid as I am.

Please keep in mind that, even though I do not have a 200-page DNI, hate, bullying, harassment, or prejudice of any kind is not allowed on this blog. In the tags, the comments, the reblogs, nothing. If you send hateful content to my mutuals and my blog, you're getting blocked on sight. This is a safe space.

🖤🩶💚🤍 ...Also I'm aromantic btw 💚🤍🩶🖤

If we're mutuals, I will read all your posts and it will be great.

Nice to meet you! See ya around!

--Blackplaaague/Ellis

(DM me if any of these images are yours and you'd like credit, I can't remember where I got these, regrettably, and I'd like to provide credit so people can see more of the creator's content!)

IMPORTANT INFO REGARDING FANDOM, BOUNDARIES, AND VICTORIA DARKEN

Link to full post (check reblogs):

https://www.tumblr.com/blackplaaague/729620629418131456/this-might-be-a-stupid-question-but

🖤 I'm not Vivziepop. I'm not Lauren Faust. I am a teenager who likes gothic literature and silly cartoons, and I do this all for my own amusement. If I'm not liking the vibe, I'm out. 🖤

💚 From now on, we are setting boundaries: 💚

*Boundaries in linked post*

Thanks for understanding,

☢️ Ellis ☢️

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illumiera · 5 months

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for the oc relationship asks...👀

11, 15, 23, 25, 26, 30, 85... (I could go on forever with these, really...😭)

✨ from these asks! ✨

ee, thank you for the ask, Gigi! 💖

11. Who is clingy?

you know, I don't feel like either Miraak or Elentari are what you'd call "clingy"! that is, they love being around one another and draw strength from each other's company, they're very in-tune with one another, and they're very physically affectionate in private, but there's always space for both to breathe and spend time apart doing their own thing if need be. I guess it comes with that innate dragonsoul-knowledge that the other is nearby!

15. How do they comfort one another when the other is upset?

they both struggle somewhat heavily with nightmares. Ellie in particular regularly dreams of her family and how she (in her eyes, at least) failed to save them, and for a while after Apocrypha, Miraak must battle dreams where he is there again.

a kind of ritual develops where, without a word, whoever has the nightmare will head outside to Ellie's beautiful garden beneath the stars. the other will follow them, sit beside them, and begin telling them a story that always works wonders in calming the other down. it doesn't have to be a fictional story, either—sometimes it's pulled from a book or invented wholecloth, but sometimes, it's a tale from that person's own life.

(usually, they'll head back inside after a while, or Miraak will carry Ellie to bed if she falls asleep, but they have been known to doze off lying in the grass, kept warm by either magic or the body heat Miraak emits.)

23. Who said "I love you" first?

so, they haven't said those three words to one another yet in their fic—and nor are they at a point to do so—but I have a Very Good Feeling it will be Miraak... 👀

25. Do they have any pet names for one another?

DO THEY EVER.

Miraak has many names for Elentari: rinisili (my same-soul), Kundruniik (light-bringer; the first name he knew her by), vusoveni (my nightingale), mal dovahdin (little dragon-maiden, meant complimentarily), mal yolstrun (little firestorm), filjud or filjudi (star-queen or my star-queen), filsehili (star of my heart). TO NAME A FEW.

as for Ellie's names for him, she might well come to use his birth name, Mímir, as a name just for the two of them—at least until he's comfortable reclaiming it altogether. as a lover of languages, she's fluent in Old Bretic, which is just me repurposing Quenya Elvish; as their relationship develops, she'll call him anarinya (my sun). in Dovahzul, she might go for rinisili, wuth dovah (old dragon, meant teasingly), or to match his filsehili, shulsesili (sun of my soul).

26. Who gets jealous most often? How does their S/O deal with that?

funnily enough, that draconic urge to go all "mine!" aside, they're not jealous people, either! I don't think they really see a need for it, not when they know just how much the other feels for them.

30. Describe how one character would cheer up the other after a hard day.

let's say Ellie has a bad day for whatever reason, one that cannot be improved by killing whomever or whatever is responsible—ahem. either on foot or through flight, Miraak will take her to a secluded beauty spot where they can both just be. if she wishes to talk, she can, but if not, what better way to calm down than to watch the stars, the sunset, or the world going by?

she'll often do this for Miraak, too, or simply hold him in comfort. through her, he's learning that there exists a world where he can be what he might deem weak, and there's neither danger nor shame in it, only safety.

85. Their S/O is tipsy. How do they handle it?

for a good while, it's Ellie who has the stronger alcohol tolerance of the two of them—after all, several millennia in Apocrypha probably reduced Miraak's ability to hold his mead, and she likes a glass of wine or two now and then. she finds him funny when he's a little tipsy, as long as he doesn't fall asleep and render himself impossible to move without magic given the height and weight difference between the two of them.

(get them both drunk, however, and they'll start chatting animatedly, or trotting off on an Adventure, or wandering between Tamrielic and Dovahzul like it's no big deal, or No Really, I Can Do This Fascinating Thing With Magic, Look—)

#asks #ask game #oc: elentari #miraak #otp: i fear no fate (for you are my fate)#i fear no fate (for you are my fate)#miraak: 6'6. built like a fridge. a bit of a lightweight.

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chaos-burst · 3 years

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4, 8, 23 and 35 for Io, Nika and Nessaya (my beloved)? 😌❤️

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

Io: Io recently multiclassed into Paladin (they're now 14 levels of Barbarian and 3 levels of Paladin, Oath of vengeance). I think a spell they would really like to have is Warding Bond to take half the damage for their friends. Nika: Astral Projection for reasons I cannot say bc spoilers. Nessaya: Contact Other Planes to speak to their deity more often.

8. what are three songs that suit them?

Io: Who Will Save You Now - Les Friction Hopeless Wanderer - Mumford & Sons You Won't Feel A Thing - The Script Nika: Out There - The Hunchback Of Notre Dame Birds - Imagine Dragons We Don't Get Tired, We Get Even - Pat The Bunny Nessaya: Don't Stop Me Now - Queen Raise Your Glass - P!nk Born This Way - Lady Gaga 23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

Io: Io likes their name, but it's something very personal to them. Not everyone gets to know their real name. They enjoy petnames given to them by their chosen family, they get flustered if pretty men call them by endearments. The titles and names they get from other people are usually along the lines of "Io The Bloody" and "Io The Savage" and stuff like that. They don't like it, but they know it's useful. If you're a somewhat infamous mercenary captain your reputation is important.

Nika: Nika doesn't like his birthname and chose his own name. That one he loves a lot and gives away freely. He loves petnames - both giving and receiving them. Some people have labelled him intentionally negative things all of his life but by now he just rolls with it and is even amused by it. Ma boi is all about reclaiming hurtful things :'D

Nessaya: Nessaya loves her name, loves petnames, if anyone ever gave him a dramatic title they'd be overjoyed :'D

35. which party member do they worry for?

Io: Their current party? Ash. But not as much as they would any member of their former group. From that group, they worry SO MUCH about Tano after learning that he's still alive. Tano was their first friend ever and is the best person Io has ever met. Also they have a massive crush on him.

Nika: Nika is technically an NPC and doesn't have a party. Otherwise he usually approaches stuff with a mindset of trust, knowing that his closest friends are all competent people who can take care of themselves.

Nessaya: Worry? Nessaya doesn't know her. (Maybe Nephira because she was so afraid to be on the frozen lake.)

69. (from your second ask :'D) how would they describe their party members?

Io: Oof. Io hasn't known them for very long, this is hard. They don't like or trust Luv. Jury's still out on Ellis, but Io definitely thinks he's pretty. Ash is complicated because from the whole group Io trusts him the most, but also they haven't known each other for very long. But Io thinks Ash is a good person. Io also projects a fuckton of issues on Ash because he's a healer just like his closest friend and crush is.

Nika: Nika loves all of his closest companions unconditionally. He would trust them with his life and believes they're the best people to ever walk the earth.

Nessaya: Nessaya's perception is mostly very shallow up until this point so like, everyone is really hot for sure. Shaggy and Lix are his best friends, obviously. She definitely wants to bone Eira, Nephira and Eleanor. Arisaa is so grumpy which Nessaya finds highly hilarious. Overall they're delighted by this whole ragtag group of new friends :D

#ocs #nika #io #nessaya #d&d #ask #screeching into the void #text #thanks so much for asking i love all my idiots a lot ;-;#love youuuu!!

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leelee10898 · 4 years

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No Control

Gonna blame One Direction yet again for this.. This Idea popped in my head the same day that You & I did.... so here ya go.. Also if you. aren't a 1D fan... im sorry LOL.. But at least enjoy the fluffy gooey Colt moment!!

7,8,9,10

Colt huffed, finishing his last set and setting the weights down. He worked out.. alot, more on days where his mind could not shut off, Where his every thought was consumed by her. It had been 1 month since he had seen her last, her hair was different, her makeup was excessive, and if she had been someone he had seen randomly on the street, he wouldn't even recognize her… but those eyes. Those eyes we're the only thing that mattered.

What he wouldn't give to be on the outside right now, to hold her, feel the softness of her skin against his. To press his lips tightly against hers, the ache to be with her almost too much to bare, but in here he had to be strong, always vigilant. He made his way back to his cell, waiting for the metal door to click shut as he tossed himself onto his bunk. One positive thing about the entire shitty situation he landed himself in was he had no cellly, no bunk mate if you will, And no one to beat to a pulp when they thought they could go up against him. His last one tried and failed. He did not leave visible marks, he didn't cause a scene Colt was smart, savvy, and calculating.

The bed shifted above him late one night, he knew what was coming and he was ready. As the man lurched over him, he kicked his foot out with all his might, right into the center of his stomach sending him flying back. He jumped out of bed stealthily gripping the man up and holding him against the wall, both arms pinned behind his back. "One move and I will end you right here, I can make it look like an accident. You suddenly stopped breathing in your sleep." He seethed. "Im sorry. Im sorry. Dont kill me. I'll tell you everything you need to know." His cellmate squealed quickly, folding like a piece of paper.

Colt had big dreams, he wanted to be the king of L.A. he wanted to take the reigns of the MPC and rule with his Queen by his side. The more time he sat in that cell with the days and months passing by at a snails pace, the more he thought of another life, one beyond the thugging and gangs. A small house somewhere in the suburbs with 2 or 3 kids running around. He would open Kaneko Autobody there and he and Ellie could live the life she deserved.

He would move heaven and earth for that girl, just to make her happy. He remembered the time he knew he had fallen for her, the exact moment he knew that he was completely head over heels in love with Ellie Martin.

********

The rest of the crew were out on a job, they wouldn't be back until the next day. Ellie and Colt were ordered to stay behind and watch the shop, a bitch job that Colt hated. Ellie walked over to the couch in the makeshift living room of the garage, grabbing the remote from his hands. "Hey, what the hell?" he snapped, turning his body towards her. She gave him a smug little smirk as she started clicking through the channels. "So what, you think you can just flop down and take control of the tv because you're cute?" His eyes wide, a piece of popcorn stuck to the corner of his mouth.

"You just said I was cute." She smirked, she was challenging him and he knew it. She had been the only person he found to challenge him, a fact he bith loathed and also secretly liked and she had just made him slip up.

"I was watching that."

"Annnd now you're not!" He could see the corners of her lips curl up as she kept her eyes on the tv screen.

"I could take it back. Just like that." He snapped his fingers.

"Mmmhmmm."

Colt began to get irritated, she knew exactly how to push his buttons and she did it well.

He let out a furious growl as he pounced, pushing her down onto the cushions, pinning her hands above her head. The remote clattered to the floor as she stared back at him wide eyed, wiggling underneath him. "Let me go or else." She giggled, prompting him to roll his eyes. "Oh. Yeah. So frightening." He snorted.

"I could make you." She challenged.

"No offense sweetheart but, I kind of have the upper hand here." His face inches from hers. She lifted her head slightly, her lips pressing against his catching him off guard. He let go of her hands, cupping her face gently as he deepened the kiss, the task of reclaiming the tv remote all but forgotten.

The next thing he knew he was on the floor, Ellie reaching down grabbing the remote and continuing her clicking. Colt sat there dazed, what had just happened? He climbed back onto the couch, Ellie scooted over nuzzling into his side. He threw his arm around her as she sunk into his embrace. "So what are we watching?" Just like that, he folded.

The next morning he woke up to the sound of her phone. Music from the speakers. Oh god, not this shit again He silently groaned at the familiar voices of her favorite band.

Waking up

Beside you I'm my loaded gun

I can't contain this anymore

I'm all yours

I've got no control

No control

Powerless

And I don't care it's obvious

I just can't get enough of you

The pedal's down, my eyes are closed

No control

The lyrics resounding in his head. He looked over at her sleeping peacefully next to him on the couch.. he hated the music, but one thing was for sure. The pedal was definitely down, full speed, he was all hers. He had no control anymore, he was in love with her... absolutely and irrevocably head over heels in love.

**********

The sound of his door clicking open for chow pulled him from his thoughts. Five more months to go, and he would be with her again.. All hers, for he still had no control when it came to her.

ROD

@daniv2278 @brightpinkpeppercorn @lovehugsandcandy @going-down-downtown @mercyparkcrew @emichelle @annekebbphotography @walkerismychoice @yesivefallenpreytothechoicestrap @zaira-oh-zaira @sweetest-marbear

@simsvetements @zaffrenotes

@akrenich @ifyouseekheart @client-327 @choicelogansbitch @choicesarehard @paisleylovergirl @itskismetbb @itsmarleen

@rhischoicesfanfics @distinguishedsaladoperawinner @iplaydrake @coffeebeandragon @jasidu2 @charliezchan

@umiumichan @sarwin85 @skdskdskdskdskdsk @liamzigmichael4ever @sumbarbietingz @mskaneko @choicesgremlin

@allaboutchoices @hopefulmoonobject @crookedslimecreatorpasta @be-still-my-aching-heart @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom @cocomaxley @bobasheebaby @ownworldresident @cordoniaqueensworld @indiacater @blackcatkita @darley1101 @choicesgremlin @desiree-0816

#i love colt kaneko #rod colt #colt x ellie #colt kaneko #choices ride or die: a bad boy romance #ride or die bad boy romance #choices ride or die #ride or die au #leelee10898writes

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flying-elliska · 4 years

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Hi, Ellie! I have a quite stupid question for you and you definitely don't need to answer if it makes you feel uncomfortable! But since you identify yourself as bi and you have been willing to answer lgbtq+ related questions in the past, I thought I will give it a try. So, I obviously know there are "bi" and "pan" sexualities but even though I know about it for years and I have been reading multiple explanations on diffirent websites I still haven't been able to understand the difference. (1/?)

I thought I got it when I read that bi people can fall in love with man or woman and pan people with man, woman, non-binary person or trans person. But then I read that it's not true and that bi people can also fall in love with for example trans man (because he is obviously a man) and I got lost again. (2/?)

And I really hate it and feel like a biggest idiot in the world but I really want to understand so I thought... would you be willing to try and give me an explanation? Maybe I will finally understand it it will come from you. (3/3)

Hey anon, that’s alright ! It’s a confusing question and there is a lot of misinformation online. I think it’s better to ask questions (even if a bit misguided) than to remain confused. The first thing to note is that trans people are not a separate gender ; trans men are men like you said, and trans women are women, and any sexuality definition that puts them in a different case ends up being transphobic because of that.

Beyond that though, I think it’s important to say that there isn’t a clearcut answer to this question because people will define their own labels in different ways. So anything that will try to compare the two labels in any definitive way will often end up being too reductive.

However, one big thing to know is that, while some bi people will define their sexuality as being attracted to just ‘men and women’, a lot of bi people, along with most mainstream bi activist and advocacy groups and scholars, don’t define bisexuality in a binary way - popular definitions include ‘being attracted to more than one gender’ or ‘being attracted to genders that are similar and different to yours.’ (Possible genders : man, woman, non-binary, agender, bigender, etc...)

So anyone saying that bi is binary or that it stricly means ‘man and woman’ is going to ignore the history and self definition of a big part of the bi community, and therefore strikes me as very disrespectful when it comes from people who don’t ID as bi themselves.

My own take on it - as someone who mostly identifies as bisexual but also feels some affinities for the pansexual label - is that bisexual is more of a broad, umbrella-type label, where you just say you are attracted to multiple genders in some unspecified way, whereas pansexual is more specific, meaning you are attracted to ALL genders. To me the advantage of the bisexual label is that it has a longer history of community and activism and visibility and reclaiming it helps reducing stereotypes ; whereas the pansexual label introduces the question of non binary genders in a more prevalent way.

But you can’t put a clear, strict line between the two and trying to do so will probably upset people. I think it has a lot to do with connotations of a word, it’s a sensitive, personal thing. For instance some bisexual people will say that their attraction has no gender boundary. I personally don’t feel a difference of attraction between genders, and so when I started coming out into the LGBT community I’ve had people tell me ‘oh but really, you’re pansexual’ and that felt very annoying and dismissive and invalidating. As if those people knew my sexuality better than me, as if there was something defective with the bi label. So, one very important take away is : don’t presume to tell people what they should identify as.

There is a lot of misinformation out there - I see a lot of people, especially on this website, trying to justify pansexuality by contrasting it to artificially reductive definitions of bisexuality, and that really annoys me. On the other hand, people saying that pansexuality doesn’t exist or is inherently biphobic is just as absurd to me. First of all - all words are made up, and the meaning of labels evolve constantly. Secondly, you can’t force people to adopt labels they don’t like, and yes that can include reasons you might find petty or unreasonable or shallow (honestly I’ve heard many people say they just picked the label they thought had the better flag lmao). I think it should be possible to introduce the nuance that while bisexuality as a label isn’t inherently binary, a lot of people will still hear ‘bi’ and think ‘two’ and therefore wanting a label that is more explicit about liking all genders is not superfluous. And I think labels have always been somewhat fluid in the LGBT community and that trying to impose too strict separations ignores the complexity of human experience and identity. It’s such a personal thing, and a shitty thing to get mocking or dismissive about, because finding a label that feels like it fits you and your specific sensibilities and history can bring such joy !

I hope this will clarify the issue somewhat ^^ but never hesitate to ask questions as long as you’re coming from a place of respect and willingness to learn ^^

#bisexuality #bi asks #pansexuality #bi pride #lgbt #lgbtqa

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thelazyeye · 5 years

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How do you feel about the d*ke slur? I've recently come to accept that I'm 100% into ladies but because I've actively tried to distance myself from lesbian culture all my life, I don't know if it's considered gross to use or reclaim that word even if it's just referring to oneself

OH YEAH! HELLO. Listen. I wrote a 21 page paper for my SJ class on what it was like to overcome internalized sexism and realize that I can both be attracted to women and… be a woman. And wow, that was a long, long battle for me.

I have… opinions about the word dyke that might not be received bery well. I’m going to state them, anyway. I am fond of calling myself a dyke. I will not censor it. I will not hide it.

I love using the word dyke to describe myself. I want a pin that says DYKE in big bold letters. I want to tell the world I’m a dyke. BUT. The only people who I want to call me a dyke back are either my closest friends or other WLW/LGBT persons. I take major issue with cishet people calling me a dyke. I had a straight girl my age refer to me as a “dyke on spikes” when she found out I played softball in high school and I’m a lesbian. And I was livid. Because she wasn’t using it in an empowering way or in solidarity. She was using it as a signifier and a power move. She’s just a regular old softball player but I’m a stereotype. What did she have to gain my calling me that? In the same way white people have nothing to gain by using the N word casually, she can only gain power because she is in the dominant group. She cannot reclaim and word that wasn’t hers.

I can call myself a big dumb dyke. That girl cannot. It’s about identity, power, and substance.

Language is such a central part of our culture. Language shapes culture and culture shapes language. You really cannot have one without the other, right? If you have communication, in some sense you have language. You have syntax and semantics and paradigms. They occur naturally and things change naturally as the culture and community moves forward. We can all agree on this.

Slurs. In the LGBT community and literally every other minority group. It’s a power play and a political statement all in one, right? Slurs are used to put down the very group they’re trying to oppress. To take power away. To shame. To destroy. To deem vile and icky and horrible. Examples of slurs for the LGBT community include the word dyke. Dyke is, by all standards, a slur against lesbian women. It is used to demean us, to make us small, to equate us with evil. That we are predators. All things we are not. How do we reclaim a word who’s historical significance was used with so much hatred and vile intentions?

Let’s look at the word queer by example.

Queer is an extremely loaded term in the LGBT community. It was used as a slur throughout much of LGBT history. Words such as gay, queer, etc. were and are still used against the community. When the LGBT rights movement kicked off, phrases were coined, such as the popular “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.” These phrases were used in an attempt to reclaim slurs thrown at us. Today, queer is used both in a way to reclaim the slur and as an umbrella identity. For some people it is a lot easier to say they’re queer than to try to explain and justify who they are. I use the word queer as an umbrella term and a self-identifier. I am a gay woman, a lesbian, a queer. A dyke.

Dyke faces a similar climb in the same way that gay men use the word fag in the same way those who choose to use the word queer use the word queer. I love this quote. I think it holds a lot of weight in conversations like this.

“Everyone who came out before us took the glass bottles thrown at us and made them into shields and windchimes… when accused of being a hated, vile, thing, you can take two paths. You can deny being the thing and agree with your accuser that being this thing is AWFUL. The WORST. Of course, you are not that thing. OR you can INCREASE BEING THE MOTHERFUCKING THING” (Ellis, 2017).

It’s all about agency, right? The ability to make that choice for yourself. No one can tell you, AS THE WLW YOU ARE (or as I understand it) WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE ALLOWED TO USE THE WORD DYKE. Literally every lesbian and WLW I know has tried to distance themselves from their identity and the community. This comes from shame, not discrimination. You’re not gross if you decide to use a word you previously pushed away. We grow, we change. We reclaim. We take power for ourselves from those who used it to hurt us. I pushed myself so far away from lesbian culture that I pushed myself straight out of femininity and had a gender ID crisis when I was 17. Self love and self compassion isn’t a straight line. Neither is community.

I love the word dyke. You don’t have to. But, baby. If you love it, use it. Give yourself power and pride. Stand tall. If you want to keep talking, please send another ask in. Or, if you’d like, please come into my DMs and we can talk. I can share my journey of self love and acceptance and maybe I can bolster yours. We need to stand with our sisters, and I’ll stand with you always. I love you, girl.

Additionally, if this was too long or too wordy or didn’t hit the point you wanted me to hit, PLEASE send another ask in and we can keep chatting until we’re on the same page. I don’t want this conversation to end if it’s not over.

#long post #lgbt #lesbian #advice #if this was too #Anonymous #Em Answers #@ every lesbain on my dash or in my ask box #I love you all #Let me be your lesbian aunt

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