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menhera-info-archieve · 8 months

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in case you haven't seen it yet, here's the menhera 101 article by HoshiCandy from Kei Club Issue 3. not sure if i'll post the other menhera related articles from this issue or not, so consider checking the link in source if you're interested.

i'm also leaving a text transcription under the cut for anyone that may benefit from that

Menhera 101

Menhera fashion has quickly been gaining popularity worldwide! This fast growth has come with its fair share of misunderstandings about the community and style. Menhera artist and designer HoshiCandy is here with a lesson on menhera’s origins, history, and basics. Find more of her work on the pages before and after this article!

What is Menhera?

“Menhera” can be thought of as “a person who seeks mental wellbeing”.

The word “Menhera” was born in Japan in 2001, on the “Mental Health” board of anonymous forum 2ch, where users discussed their wellbeing. The users of this board were named “Mental Healthers” which was shortened to “Menhera”.

The Menhera community covers anything that might cause one mental suffering, such as: physical illness or disability, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, bullying, hyper-sexuality, sexism, homophobia, etc. Importantly, there is no need for a formal diagnosis, as the focus is on how you feel, and that you want to feel better.

It is difficult to talk about these topics in Japanese society without being heavily stigmatized. Menhera is a community to speak safely without that stigma. Of course, this stigma and need for community when it comes to one’s mental wellbeing is not limited to Japan, and that is why menhera has grown in the west as well.

Since the creation of the word in 2001, there have been several manga published with “Menhera” in the title, many Visual Kei songs about it, Menhera idol groups, and several menhera fashion brands.

However, an unfortunate addition to all this has been the discovery of the word in mainstream media...

Just as the topic of illness is heavily stigmatized in Japanese society, the word “Menhera” itself became quickly stigmatized and stereotyped as “an attention seeking, troublesome person” or “an overly attached girlfriend” (aka “yandere”). If you were to speak to a Japanese person about “Menhera”, this would most likely be what they would think you meant. This stereotype tends to be referred to as “Menhera Kei” in Japanese which is why we avoid the use of “kei” for Menhera in particular.

Despite all this, the true menhera community has continued to grow.

Menhera Motifs

Artists in the Menhera community created many works of “Vent Art” art that expresses their feelings and suffering. When this art was printed onto clothing, Menhera fashion was born.

These are some themes you will commonly see in Menhera:

Medication

Suicide

Self-harm

Hospitals

Sex and BDSM

Social Media Addiction

Heartbreak

Wearing Menhera art printed on clothing serves as a way of literally wearing one’s feelings on one’s sleeves. It turns invisible suffering visible, and fights against the stigma driven silence. This means that Menhera fashion is highly confrontational, with graphic depictions of illness symptoms. Although the onlooker may feel discomfort, the Menhera style says “this is my true reality, don’t pretend it doesn’t exist!”

Depending on the feelings of the wearer, Menhera fashion also says “although I am sick, I can still be ‘kawaii’” or “although I appear ‘kawaii’, on the inside I am suffering”.

Turning the invisible visible, forcing the silence to be broken, and challenging kawaii culture, these are the goals of Menhera fashion.

The Menhera Silhouette

Carefully avoiding a highly theatrical or OTT (over-the-top) look is important for maintaining the integrity of the goals of menhera. Menhera is a very casual style, with few accessories and light makeup. The key is for a coord to centre on Menhera imagery, whether vent art or text-focused designs, printed onto clothing.

Be careful not to dress up as the characters depicted in vent art, who are often costumey, gory, and OTT.

Menhera Coord checklist:

Printed Menhera art

Byojaku/Minimal makeup

Not OTT/Few accessories

Flat Shoes

[optional] Oversized top

[optional] Hime bangs

[optional] twintails

Colors can vary: a pastel yume look, or a gothic yami look, both are fine!

The makeup style is called “Byojaku” meaning “sickly/weak”. Reddish colors are applied to areas around the eyes to give the impression of crying or illness. The rest of the face is kept plain without much color.

A Note of Caution

The Menhera community is about healing, and seeking recovery and wellbeing. It advocates getting help, medication, therapy, and receiving support through your recovery journey.

True Menhera never encourages or enables harmful behaviors, and never glorifies them. Menhera fashion is an alternative way of expressing your suffering without self-harm. Menhera fashion empowers the individual through their recovery, but does not empower harmful behaviors.

There are some, sometimes labeled by the community as “Wannabe Menhera”, who mistook the meaning of “menhera” after seeing its rise in popularity, as it being trendy to fake mental illness. They engage in behaviors such as posting self-harm photos (real or faked) to social media with the tag #menhera, and other attention-seeking behaviors.

While this is the opposite of what the Menhera community stands for, is harmful to the unfortunate viewers of these photos, and creates further stigma against the community...it cannot be ignored that these “Wannabe Menhera”, too, need help and healing.

The Menhera fashion movement is to help you feel comfortable, unashamed, and kawaii in your skin, scars and all. It is NOT for encouraging people to create new scars “for the aesthetic”.

If you are struggling with mental or physical suffering, thoughts, or behaviors that cause harm to yourself or others, please seek help. If you do not believe you deserve help, you do, please seek help. If you believe you are faking it, you likely are not, your feelings are valid, please seek help.

Don’t have access to therapy?

We found a comprehensive list of suicide prevention hotlines at https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines [link no longer working]

There are also free and affordable counseling services online like Better Help and Pride Counseling! Look online to find what option could work for you!

Alternatives to Menhera

After reading all this you may be thinking “the Menhera community sounds good but all the fashion is too restrictive for me” and if so, you’re not alone! But the good news is that you don’t have to wear Menhera fashion to be in the Menhera community.

Look up any of these alternative styles online for examples and more information:

Yamikawaii (“Sickly-cute”) is essentially the aesthetic of Menhera without the activism, a corrupted dark kawaii. Unfortunately the word was trademarked and now suffers from copyright takedowns.

Yumekawaii (“Dreamy-cute”) an aesthetic evolved from Fairy kei to describe everything pastel and kawaii, but with a slight edge, described as “fairytales with poison”.

Marekawaii (“Nightmare-cute”) created as an alternative to Yamikawaii to avoid the copyright issues, and as a counterpart to Yumekawaii. Marekawaii is specifically defined as being open to your own interpretation and style.

Medikawaii (“Medical-cute”) a pastel kawaii aesthetic focusing only on medical motifs, such as medicine and hospitals.

Gurokawaii (“Grotesque-cute”) mixes frightening and disturbing imagery with kawaii. Kyary Pamyu Pamyu helped popularize it.

Iryouu Kei (“Medical Kei”) a Visual Kei substyle with lots of gore and hospital theming, very OTT and theatrical, such as dressing like a nightmare nurse.

Living Doll artists see themselves and their bodies as a canvas to create art and express themselves, often with intricate makeup and body painting. This is a good one to look at if you’re into heavy artistic makeup.

#menhera #info #op #menhera.txt

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help-im-a-gay-fish · 11 months

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In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came...

That voice that comes to me, and speaks my name...

*inhales*

I am in love with his musical. I was very lucky to get to go and see The Phantom of The Opera at His Majesty's Royal Theatre in London.

I LOVED IT.

I have been listening to this sound track on repeat all week, I have been so invested in this story, I just had to cross over it. So this is a crossover of the musical, not the movie, very important distinction because the musical is different, and better

Honestly I have a lot to say but I'll ramble in the tags heh.

Some more charactersssss!!

Dream is going to be left gender ambiguous here, so if you want them to be a he like regular Dream you can, but if you want them to be a she like Christine then you can!

Also Cross' scar is only present for some of these drawings, because I decided he gets it from broken glass coming off the falling chandelier.

A kind of more detailed synopsis of how the Crossover lore works. And my concept art :)

In this Cross over, Dream and Nightmare were twins, but from babyhood, Nightmare had a strange mass of gloop around his eye. First covered with a small mask, the mass grew more over time. He ran away from home at age 6 and was taken by a circus to become the star of a freakshow attraction.

Over his travels he learned a lot and was proven to be a musical prodigy, but the mass grew. Soon wrecking one side of his face and covering one side of his body, that's why he wears one glove, and has the tendrils, hiddenunderneathhis cloak.

Eventually he found himself at the opera house, and lived there secretly, living as the oprea ghost.

And then who should turn up, but Dream, moving in with the other dancers after their mother's death. It didn’t take long for Night to recognise their twin, and seek to keep on eye on them from a distance. To protect them, but also teach them to sing.

Protecting to be an angel of music, and instructing Dream from the shadows. And Dream growing convinced that he's the spirit of their 'dead' brother, and they were kind right.

And in a true dreammare fashion, some of this sibling protectiveness turned into a bit of a more twisted obsessive love in Nightmare...

And that's most of the stuff that is changed, the rest stays mostly the same.

Original cross jakei95

Original nightmare and Dream by jokublog

Original ccino belongs to black-nyanko

Original ink by comyet

Original error by crayonqueen.

original lust by nsfwshamecave

@zu-is-here asked me to tag her in this post.

And I also want to bring some attention to this work, as well :)

Concept art! <3

Thank you so much!

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lovelybucky1 · 6 months

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House of Amateurs- Exclusive Interview with Zena Daren

as the #1 and possibly only anakin x zana stan, i asked @hanasnx if i could write a fic about them. i got full permission to write and post this and aboslutley 100% of the credit goes to indy for the original character(s), the universe, and for this super sexy version of anakin. i tried my hardest to keep the same characterization and i hope i am able to do it justice. please please please check out the krayt house masterlist if you haven't already. all of the fics are so amazing and well written. this fic seriously got away from me. it's 4.8k words of sexual tension and filthy smut. thank you so much indy for allowing me to write this, and i hope you enjoy <<333

krayt house masterlist

my masterlist

warnings: pornstar!anakin x OC!zena daren, dirty talk, minor roleplay, mentions of porn, vaginal fingering, minor nipple play, minor misogyny, semi-clothed sex, degradation, praise, mirror sex, smoking, minor corruption kink, mention of knife play, minor dry humping, unprotected sex, 18+ minors DNI

Anakin sits across from Zena with his thighs spread and his arms outstretched over the back of his chair, taking up as much room as possible. He's dressed up a bit nicer today than he usually is for these interviews. A loose-fitting grey t-shirt, black cargo pants, and black boots that lace up past his ankle.

Anakin doesn't enjoy doing interviews but it's part of the job, so he tries to have a little fun with it. It may be his own twisted kind of fun, but it entertains him nonetheless. It certainly doesn't hurt when the interviewer is kind on the eyes.

Zena's pretty; she has glasses and wears pencil skirts and blouses that have one too many buttons fastened. She doesn't look like Anakin's typical co-stars who all have filler and eyelash extensions to make their eyes look even prettier when they tear up from choking.

She doesn't act like his co-stars either. They're always all over him, wanting just a shred of attention from the most sought-after male star in the industry. Zena is all business; she's not seeking his praise and she doesn't want to use him as a jumping-off point for her career.

Zena is the kind of art you want to touch, but aren't allowed to. She makes you wonder what lies underneath that buttoned-up collar. She can't be as proper as she seems; everyone has a dirty secret, but as hard as Anakin tries, she won’t let him discover it.

Anakin doesn't like to admit it, but he isn't used to women who don't fall all over themselves to get to him. He likes their banter, it's not something he usually gets to experience. Maybe he's being a little difficult in these interviews, but it's fun to try to make her crack. She's doing the same thing to him, so it's only fair.

"We've talked a lot about your series so far, but I would like to get more insight into your personal life," Zena says, crossing her legs.

Anakin eyes her legs shamelessly, tracing the lines of her calves down to her kitten-heeled shoes. She sits upright, looking very proper compared to Anakin’s lazy posture. His eyes flick back up to hers, finally ready to stop ogling her.

"What about it?" he asks.

"What do you like to do for fun?" Instead of responding to her question, Anakin raises his eyebrows just slightly in a suggestive manner. Zena blinks at him, obviously not accepting what he’s trying to convey as an answer.

"I like to work out," Anakin responds.

Zena hums as she scribbles on her notepad. “That’s not surprising. You clearly put a lot of work into maintaining your physique."

Anakin has a smug expression on his face from the comment. He knows he looks good and he’s told so often, but Zena’s acknowledgment of it makes him preen with pride. It wasn’t even a compliment really, but

Moving on, Zena asks the next question. "Are you in a relationship?"

Anakin huffs a small laugh. "I don't date."

"Why not?"

"Why would I? I get paid for the best part of them already, and I don’t do that shit for free." Anakin takes notice of Zena's expression of mild disgust. "I hope I didn't crush your dreams," he adds, smirking.

"Not my dreams, though I can sense hearts breaking across the galaxy," she replies.

Anakin has never had an interviewer who can roll with the punches like Zena. It's impressive, though it does bug him that he can't get her to break. He supposes he just has to try harder to make her sweat.

"That's enough about my personal life," Anakin says, tone not leaving much room for argument. For a moment, surprise flashes over Zena's features as she flips through her notepad to get to the next question.

"Alright then," she says. "Why don't you describe for us your perfect scene? If everything was entirely up to you, what would you shoot?"

Anakin wets his lips as he looks at Zena. There's no way this question wasn't meant to bait him.

"That's a good question," he says, just to see if she'd have any reaction to the minor praise. Unfortunately, she's still as stone as she waits for his answer. "I have a good amount of pull around here, being the main star and all, but if I had complete control..." Anakin adjusts in his seat like he is searching for an answer as if he didn't already have one in mind meant to get a rise out of Zena. “I’d want to do it home video style. No camera crew, no lighting, no mics. Just a small camera on a tripod shot in her bedroom," he says.

"Why specifically her bedroom?" Zena asks, not reacting to any of his comments.

"It'd probably look nicer than mine, and I've always liked the look of a woman's room. It has lots of personal touches you can't get on a set, so it feels more authentic. And there's something about being invited into a sacred space that's appealing to me."

Anakin isn't being untruthful in his answers, but he is playing it up a bit. Zena nods along with what he's saying, but Anakin can tell there's another question brewing.

"And what kind of co-star would you be looking for?" she asks.

That's exactly what he wanted her to ask. Like innocent prey, she has no idea what she just set herself up for.

"Not an actress, that's for sure. No offense to the girls, they're all great, but it gets boring after a while. I don't want the exaggerated moans and begging. I just want a regular woman who's down to make a video."

"Careful, you're going to get people thinking they have a chance with you," Zena jokes. Anakin lips turn into a smile, honestly enjoying this interview more than he thought he would. "Would there be any specific content you'd like to include?"

Anakin presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he thinks, the action only half-meant as an innuendo. "I like a lot of things, but I'd want to keep it more tame in this. Crazy stuff is meant for the studio, but a home video lets you capture the passion that you don't get on set," Anakin explains. "We'd just fuck."

For the first time in any of their interviews, Zena looks affected by Anakin's words. It's not obvious and if Anakin didn't have a keen sense for horny women, he probably wouldn't have noticed it. Her legs are crossed a little tighter, her chest rises and falls quicker, and she has a punishing grip on her pen.

Before Zena has a chance to respond, Anakin speaks again. "But what about you?" he asks.

His question catches her off guard. "I'm sorry?"

"You've done a lot of interviews and I'm sure you've seen your fair share of films. What's your perfect scene?"

Anakin schools his expression into one of earnestness like he's genuinely curious about her answer. He is, to an extent, but he has an ulterior motive. He told Zena his acting skills were rusty in a previous interview, but perhaps that was downplaying his talent a bit.

"Well... that's not really my area of expertise," she says, surprising Anakin with her eloquent answer. Not that he was expecting her to babble incoherently, but he would have thought it’d take longer for her to recover.

"This is the house of amateurs after all," he says, leaning back slightly in his chair to make himself look even more imposing.

Zena narrows her eyes at him slightly. "That's all the questions I have today. Thank you for your time, Mr. Skywalker. As always, it was a pleasure speaking with you."

Zena's abrupt ending to the interview catches Anakin off guard, but just like her, he can adapt. He smiles at her and leans forward in his chair, extending his hand for her to shake.

"The pleasure was all mine, Miss Daren," he says, looking into her eyes. Surprisingly, the close proximity and eye contact don't make her shrink away.

The cameras cut and Zena slips her notepad and pen into her purse. Before she could stand up to leave, Anakin stood in front of her chair, blocking her path.

She raises an eyebrow at him inquisitively. "Yes?"

"I'd like to speak to you privately. Off the record," he says.

"Okay," Zena says. "Go ahead."

Anakin shakes his head and steps aside so she can stand up. "Not here." Zena doesn't appreciate the subtle power play he pulled by blocking her in, but she supposes he's used to that trick working. "Do you smoke?" he asks.

She nods and without another word, Anakin walks off towards the door to the patio. He holds the door open for her and once outside, he fishes in his pocket for a cigarette. Zena offers him the lighter out of her purse and he thanks her as she lights her own. They stand in silence for a bit while the smoke swirls around them. Zena waits for Anakin to speak but he doesn’t say anything.

"So what did you bring me out here to talk about off the record?" she asks.

Anakin leans against the wall of the building and looks over at her. His eyes shamelessly trail over her body, even more so than during the interview.

"I like you," he says.

"Thank you," she says, slightly confused.

Anakin sighs. "You're not gonna make me do this whole song and dance, are you?" he asks.

Zena takes a drag of her cigarette and the smoke flows easily out of her mouth. "I don't know what you're referring to," she responds.

She's playing coy, Anakin knows that, but coy isn't cracking and he desperately needs to see what's under her buttoned-up exterior. Anakin resolves himself, knowing he has to tell her directly what he wants. Anakin steps closer to her so she has to look up slightly to meet his eyes. She doesn't back away, much to his delight, but it's another show of her strong will.

"I want to fuck you," he says.

Zena blinks at him, not looking surprised at the admission in the slightest. "I don't do porn, Mr. Skywalker," she replies easily.

"I'm not asking you to."

"You said it yourself, you don't do that shit for free," she says before taking another puff of her cigarette.

"I'd make an exception."

Zena huffs a laugh. "I know you're used to women just throwing themselves at you so hopefully that's your reason for being so bad at this," she says. "No girl wants to hear that they're the exception, no matter what your scripts may tell you."

Anakin isn't deterred by her stubbornness. He smirks, tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth slightly. "Women do throw themselves at me, but you’re making me work for it."

"Men like you always want what they can't have," she says.

Anakin doesn’t deny that. "We've been dancing around this for what, three weeks now? I know you want it just as much as I do."

Zena looks up at him, her eyes looking deeply into his as she smirks. "What a title this one would be. Anakin Skywalker Grovels for Busty Interviewer to Fuck Him."

"Those titles are always sensationalized," he says.

Zena takes a deep breath and crosses her arms over her chest. If the buttons of her blouse were undone, he'd surely be able to see cleavage but alas, she's too much of a good girl to show anything off.

"If I were to take you up on your rather pushy offer," she starts. "What's in it for me?"

"You've seen my videos," he says with a smirk.

"Like you said, all those actresses fake it."

That gets to Anakin. It's been a long time since someone doubted his performance in bed, but he's not exactly surprised that Zena went for the low blow. He doesn’t take the bait and attempt to prove himself. He knows he’s a good lay and she’s watched enough of his videos to know that too.

"I promise you I can deliver," he says, his voice dropping a little lower. "We can do whatever you want."

"Even knife play?" she asks. It isn't until he sees the faintest smile on her lips that he realizes she's joking.

“Whatever you want,” he repeats, leaning forward a little to crowd into her space. “Come upstairs with me.”

Of course, Zena knows what upstairs means. She’s only ever been in the living room of the house for interviews, but the bedrooms upstairs all have cameras in every corner to catch the best angles of the action.

“I don’t want to be on camera,” she says.

“My closet doesn't have a camera," Anakin replies.

"Your closet?" Zena repeats, unimpressed.

"Dick's the same everywhere," Anakin says with a slight shrug.

“Fine,” Zena sighs as she drops her cigarette on the ground and steps on it. Anakin does the same and opens the sliding glass door to reenter the house. Zena follows him as he walks up the stairs and down the hall to the bedroom.

Zena is familiar with the house from the videos, but it looks a lot bigger from the inside. Anakin opens the door to his bedroom and Zena takes in the sight. His bed is unmade, but other than that, the room is neat, though it lacks in personality. Anakin opens the door to his closet, a large walk-in that doesn't have much in it other than clothes on the racks and a mirror on the back wall.

"Do you want me to lay down a blanket?" Anakin asks. It's a genuine offer, but his voice is teasing.

"I'll be fine," Zena replies with a roll of her eyes.

Anakin reaches out to grab her wrist and tugs her inside the closet. He shuts the door behind her and backs her against it, hands gently holding onto her hips.

"I've been thinking about having you like this for weeks," Anakin says. "Been dying to know what you're hiding."

"What I'm hiding?"

Anakin moves his hand up to her collar where he toys with her buttons. "You act like such a good girl but you can't be in this industry without having some dirty secrets."

He undoes her first button, and when he nods at him to keep going, he undoes all of them down to her navel. When Anakin pushes the fabric of the shirt to the side, he reveals Zena's lace bra. He raises his eyebrows at her, but she doesn’t give him any explanation.

Helping him out, Zena unbuttons her shirt the rest of the way and pushes it off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Anakin takes in the sight of her breasts: full, round, and absolutely mouth-watering. He ducks his head and presses open-mouthed kisses to the top of her breasts.

"Don't leave any marks," she says.

Anakin's eyes, now blown wide with lust, flick up to hers as he grazes his teeth over her skin. He grabs the top of the cups in each hand and pulls them down, making Zena's breasts spill out of the bra. She gasps when he attaches his mouth to her nipple and sucks.

"Oh," she moans when he pinches her other nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

With a pop, Anakin releases. "Gorgeous fuckin' tits," he says.

"A compliment from the Anakin Skywalker? I'm honored," she teases with a smirk on her lips.

Anakin narrows his eyes at her. "Are you gonna be stubborn this whole time?" he asks.

Zena leans her head against the door, somehow feeling powerful even as she has her tits on display. "Yeah," she smirks.

Anakin reaches behind her body to unclip her bra and he lets it fall to the floor next to her shirt. He then moves to the zipper of her skirt but she stops him.

"Yours off too," she says, tugging at his shirt.

He obliges, revealing that impressive physique she commented about in the interview. His shirt is tossed away and Zena admires his defined muscles and pebbled nipples.

"Can I take off your skirt now, princess?" he asks. The pet name is used sarcastically, but Anakin can tell she liked being called that. Zena nods and Anakin pulls the zipper down and pushes her skirt to her ankles, leaving her in just a pair of delicate panties.

He raises his eyebrows, curious at her choice of undergarments. "Were you expecting this?" he asks smugly.

"Certainly not," she says. Anakin hums, not believing her, but doesn't comment.

"We're gonna play a game, Zena," Anakin says. Though he’s speaking to her, he looks down at her body instead of into her eyes.

"What game?"

Anakin licks his lips. "A choose your own adventure. You tell me your favorite video of mine and we'll recreate it."

Zena thinks it's honestly shocking that Anakin doesn't have devil horns that speak through his curls.

"I don't have a-" Zena starts, but Anakin cuts her off.

"Don't give me that. I know you've seen all of them. You can't tell me none of them got you even a little hot."

Zena is suddenly unable to make eye contact with Anakin. She wasn't intimidated by him during the interview. They were five feet apart, fully clothed, and every time he put her in the hot seat, she could turn it around on him. Here, though, they're inches apart, naked, and there was no way out.

"I liked... the panties one," she says quietly.

Anakin's face lights up, grinning widely with deviousness in his eyes. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Zena shrugs but still doesn’t meet his eyes. “Y’know, you’re breaking the house rules right now.”

Anakin slips his finger under the elastic of Zena’s panties and lets them snap against her skin. She looks up at him finally and bites her lip. “I didn’t know those rules applied to me, too.”

Anakin grasps Zena’s waist and brings her over to the back wall of the closet to stand in front of the mirror. Anakin stands behind her and presses himself against her back. He leans down to press his lips against her ear. “They do if you wanna be one of my girls,” he says.

His hot breath on her neck makes Zena’s skin break out in goosebumps. Anakin chuckles when he feels her shiver in response to his fingertips dragging over her stomach. His hand slips into her panties and he cups her pussy, his large hand covering it entirely. He slips to of his long fingers inside of her and curls them up to press against her sweet spot but he doesn’t move them. Instead, Anakin uses the fingers inside Zena as leverage to push her back against his hips.

“Can you feel my cock, baby?” he asks. “Feel how hard you got me?”

“Yeah,” she replies quietly, looking at her reflection.

“Been teasing me for weeks, acting like you didn’t want me to fuck you like the dirty girl you pretend not to be. Where’d all that fire go?”

Zena leans her head back on Anakin’s shoulder and looks up at him. Her eyes are half-lidded and her lipstick is a little worn off from biting and licking her lips. She looks messy, nothing like how Anakin is used to seeing her. He likes this look, a nice girl turned into an insatiable slut, needy for him.

The way she looks at him is enough to get him to take out his cock. Instead of getting fully undressed, Anakin just undoes his fly and pushes his pants down to his knees. He holds his cock and slaps it against her ass before grinding on her again.

“Anakin,” she whines.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Stop teasing.”

Anakin looks beyond smug. It’s not often he’s faced with someone whom he has to break, so it makes it all the more satisfying that Zena is giving in. “You know what you have to do if you want my dick, Zena,” he says into her ear.

Surprisingly, Zena doesn’t put up a fight this time. “Fuck me, Anakin,” she says.

The words sound so sweet on her lips that they almost make Anakin want to kiss her. As he pushes her panties aside, he wonders what it would be like to kiss her. Would she fight for dominance or would she give in and let him take what he wants? Would she moan into his mouth the same way she’s moaning at the stretch of his cock inside her?

“Do I feel good inside you, baby?” Anakin asks once he’s fully seated inside.

“So good,” she breathes out.

“Your pussy’s gripping me, honey. She needs me that bad?” He asks teasingly as if he didn’t desire her just as much. As if she hasn’t been driving him crazy.

He rocks his hips into her and with every thrust forward, Zena’s face twists with pleasure. Anakin is desperate to give her more, but she hasn’t earned it yet and he refuses to play all of his cards just for some instant gratification. Zena avoids looking at the mirror, her eyes darting everywhere except for directly in front of her, and that just won’t do.

“Look at yourself, baby,” Anakin says. “It’s like you’re watching your own video, right? Virgin Zena Daren Taken by Experienced Anakin Skywalker.”

“I’m not a virgin,” Zena replies with an eye roll, though her annoyed act is shattered by a small moan that escapes her mouth.

“Tight like one,” Anakin smirks. “Tightest I’ve had in fuckin’ forever. The other girls are all used up but you’re nice and fresh for me, right, baby?”

Anakin’s words send shivers up Zena’s spine, though she’s a bit ashamed of it. He’s degrading other women to praise her and she knows it’s wrong, but it makes her feel hot all over. Anakin’s large hands grip her hips, ass, and stomach possessively like she’s his toy to touch and use as he pleases. He presses on her lower stomach, just below her navel, and the pressure combined with the deep thrusts of his cock make her knees weak.

Looking into the mirror, Zena can see the intense look in his eyes. She’s seen it before in his videos, but she thought it was all acting. Maybe it is, but seeing it for herself makes it seem real and it’s intimidating.

“A-Anakin,” she stutters out between moans.

“Yeah, princess?”

“I need it harder.”

Something unrecognizable flashes in Anakin’s eyes. Before Zena can realize what’s happening, Anakin’s arms are wrapped around her middle and he thrusts up into her. Her body shakes with the force of it and she’s unable to do anything but moan as he takes her.

“This hard enough for you?” Anakin asks, now sounding more breathless from the exertion. “You wanna be mine? I’ll make you fucking mine.”

His voice is borderline a growl as he uses Zena’s body. She feels like the girls in the videos: useless, dumb little toys for Anakin to use. He’s rough and relentless with his claiming of her body and she loves it. She’s not usually one for this kind of treatment, but she had no idea how much she needed it until now.

“Talk to me, baby. Tell me how fuckin’ good it is,” he demands.

“So good,” she gasps.

It amuses Anakin that he was able to reduce her to so few words after she gave him a run for his money during the interviews. Zena opens her eyes and through her slightly foggy glasses, she can see the fucked-out expression on her face. She’s never seen herself this way before and as humiliating as it is, she’s getting closer to the edge of orgasm.

Zena slips her hand under her panties to rub at her clit. Surprisingly, Anakin doesn’t bat her hand away and take over for her. He encourages her to touch herself so she can cum on his cock.

“Touch yourself for me, princess. You play with your little clit like this when you watch my videos? Doing all that research must tire your hands out, huh?”

Anakin runs his mouth like he’s getting paid to do it, though that is what he’s used to. His breathing is ragged in Zena’s ear but she can’t hear it over the sound of her own. They’re both close; Zena is desperately chasing her high with the firm press of her fingers on her clit while Anakin is trying to hold off so she can finish first.

“I’m cumming!” Zena announces with a high-pitched, broken voice. Anakin can feel her walls clenching around his cock, trying to milk him. Just as he’s about to cum, a wave of panic hits him. He doesn’t know if Zena’s on any kind of birth control. Pulling out isn’t something Anakin has to think about, but he manages to just in time.

He groans as he jerks himself off to completion over her ass. Hot, sticky ropes of cum land on her skin while she’s still riding out her pleasure on her fingers. Cumming from fucking his fist doesn’t satisfy Anakin as much as unloading into her would, but something is better than nothing.

Anakin’s head lolls back as he catches his breath and Zena goes limp against his chest. Luckily he still has enough strength to hold them both up. Zena wipes her hand off on her thigh, then adjusts her hair and straightens her glasses, trying to make herself look a bit more proper and put together. When they both regain their composure, they separate and without even looking at Anakin, Zena grabs her clothes from the floor and begins to redress.

“Hey,” Anakin says, stopping her by grabbing her wrist. “What’s the rush?” Zena makes a face at him and shakes his hand off. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna treat me like your dirty little secret now,” he says playfully.

Zena sighs as she steps into her skirt and pulls it back up, then reaches for her discarded bra. While she redresses, Anakin pulls up his pants and fastens them, but remains shirtless. “You don’t strike me as the cuddling type,” she says.

Anakin huffs a laugh. “And here I thought I fucked the brat out of you.”

He doesn’t bother hiding how he watches her stuff herself back inside her bra. Zena then slips her arms into her blouse and starts to button it, but Anakin stops her before she can get to the top. She cocks her head to the side and looks at him questioningly.

“If you ever want a job, I can pull a few strings. You’d add a sense of authenticity to the series,” he says.

Zena scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief. “And we’re right back to business, huh?”

“I’m just saying,” Anakin steps into her space and puts his hands on her hips. “I don’t fuck for free, and I know that greedy cunt’s gonna be needing more of me.” He’s smirking proudly like the arrogant diva he is.

“I know this must be hard for you to believe, but I’ll be just fine without your dick,” she retorts, mirroring his smug expression.

“Sweetheart,” he grins. “I got you hooked. You can deny yourself all you want but you’re gonna be dreaming about me.”

Zena pushes Anakin’s hands off her and collects the rest of her belongings from the floor before straightening up to face Anakin head-on. She looks perfectly proper again, save for the two buttons not fastened at the top of her shirt. It gets under Anakin’s skin a bit that he wasn’t able to wreck her beyond repair.

“I’ll see you next week, Mr. Skywalker,” Zena says using her professional voice as she extends her hand for him to shake.

Anakin bites the inside of his cheek and smirks slightly as he grasps her hand. “Yes, you will, Miss Daren.”

Zena turns on her heel once Anakin lets go and exits the closet without looking back. Anakin doesn’t see the wink she gives the camera mounted by the ceiling as she leaves the bedroom. When he hears the front door close, he sighs heavily. Yeah, he fucked her, but he wanted to break her open and catch a glimpse at all the things she’s buried deep inside her so no one could find them. Everyone else lays themselves bare for Anakin, but Zena is the only person he’d had to work on in years.

He’ll see her again in a week, and he already knows he’s going to turn the teasing up to hopefully convince her to fuck him again. He talked a big game about Zena wanting more, but it might be Anakin who’s addicted. Not to the sex, per se, but the chase of a woman who’s won’t give herself up to him.

if you enjoyed this fic, please give it a reblog because it encourages writers to keep producing content. also, please check out @hanasnx's masterlist because they have so many amazing fics and they are a great person. thank you so much for reading!

#anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker fanfic #anakin skywalker x oc #anakin x oc #star wars #star wars smut #star wars fanfiction #star wars fanfic #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x female reader #anakin skywalker x female oc #hayden christensen

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the-cheapskateler-show · 5 months

Text

“We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a very important message…”

((Everything beyond this point is out of character!!))

Hello everyone, Cheapmod here! Many of you reading this probably have not met me, so hello! Nice to meet you! 👋 You can call me Py if you’d like!

Right off the bat, I just want to make sure nobody worries since this post got kinda long. Here’s the gist of it!: Cheap��s blog is going to be continuing! It has not ended, and it won’t be for some time. I want to thank you all for sticking around and giving this blog so much love, and I encourage you to seek out additional askblogs you would enjoy cause there are many out there to love!

Okay with that out of the way, some further context for that and other things I just wanted to take the chance to say while I’m speaking out of character.

First, Im so sorry to anybody who’s been worried about Cheap, the state of this blog or me. I promise, we are both okay and this blog is continuing!

I just took an unanounced break from ALL my projects to focus on approaching art and writing more healthily. I was on break for longer than I thought I might be but I have not stopped thinking of Cheap and all of you out there. I am planning on returning to bring Cheap back to everyone soon! As a heads up, I will be experimenting more with the art style for this blog just to see if I can make things a little more quick and fun for myself!

As for the esteemed host of the show, Cheap is doing just fine! Nothing has happened to him since the last update. I would like to note that the real life passage of time will not always affect him. I will need to take breaks like this every now and then for my own sake and other priorities. If that happens, we will generally pick up right where we left off! I’ve also got many fun and interesting things planned for this blog, so I couldn’t possibly stay away for too long!

Now for something very important…you guys!!

I cannot thank you all enough for the incredible reception Cheap has recieved!! It means so much more to me than I can possibly express in words and seeing every last bit of it has really warmed my heart 🥺 Thats why its very important that I come back and make sure all the wonderful questions, comments and compliments you’ve sent in are responded to and addressed in time!!

As WELL I am so delighted that I have been seeing some incredible pieces of fanart from you guys!!!! I REALLY want to thank you each individually as i have been doing so far!! The reason I haven’t said anything yet about any fanart is because I want to give each one the dedicated attention it deserves!!! And that will be coming soon and coming first with the continuation of the little intermission we started on for giving these works a highlight!

All fanmade creations will be tagged as: #viewer-art-showcase! and I encourage everyone to check out the pieces there and especially the artists behind them!! I will be providing a link to this tag for easy access in blog description soon after this post goes up.

Another thing I’d like to mention before I wrap up here is I am posting this on an significant day for Cheap! On this day, Nov. 26th 11 years ago, I started Cheap’s first blog! With some hiatuses and pauses in-between, Cheap will have been around for 11 years. I can hardly believe it! I’m very happy to be running his blog again with this little revival here and Im so happy I made a character who has had a chance to develop so much and endured as one of my favorite OCs. It is in large part thanks to all the support and attention he’s received through all these years across all his blogs that I bring him to you all today and im so grateful to all new and longterm fans. I hope you will all continue to enjoy Cheap’s shenanigans as much as I do! Thank you!!

Lastly, I just want to encourage everyone reading this to check out ANY of the other ask-blogs that Cheap interacts with on here! I realized its not very easy to visit these blogs due to the way i’m answering asks with screenshots, so I will go back and provide @ mentions and links to previous posts.

But better yet, there are SO many awesome askblogs out there to discover well outside his blog so make sure you don’t miss them!! A great place to check out is the #lerkimpails tag for new and returning askblogs! If there are any other newer specific tags for askblogs in use that you know of, feel free to drop those in the replies of this post-im still a bit of a fandom oldie here… heh heh.

There are so many creative askblogs out there to discover and meet and they can all always use more attention and asks. This fandom and even this little corner of it are what they are because of the collective efforts of everyone on this platform inspiring and supporting one another, so be sure to make others feel welcome and appreciated and just go enjoy what they have to offer!!

Thank you everyone for reading this far! I mostly want to leave the hosting on this blog to Cheap, so there wont be many OOC posts like this, unless theres anything i really gotta clarify. Still, you will find me around in the tags now and then for sure. 🦋✨

We will get this show a-rolling again real soon! Hope to see you all then!

Cheapmod-Py

#((OOC post: A message from the mod))#the cheapskateler show #lerkimpails #cheapskateler

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comradekatara · 5 months

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if this comes off as a really weird and pretentious ask please just delete it but since iirc you've been in this fandom since 2019 or before 2019 i need to know . how do you deal with such in bad faith takes ??? i scroll & move on & filter tags as much as i can but it's astounding how anybody from any corner of this fandom will have piss poor takes whether they support canon or fanon

lmao not a bad question at all. some background context feels necessary: i’ve been very into atla since i was a kid, and before i used this blog i talked about it (and lok, because korrasami melted my brain) a lot on my primary blogs. in november 2018 i convinced my friend to start watching atla, and she got extremely into it. we talked about atla every day for months. eventually, my friend started this blog in summer of 2019 to talk about atla and invited me to join. it was mostly a repository for our inside jokes and for me to post the fanart i had been drawing on my phone. it was really just a space for our circle of mutuals to have some laffs.

the atla fandom was very small at the time so we were really one of the only blogs actively talking about the show. by complete accident, however, some of our posts got popular, and we accrued quite a bit of a following. we didn’t really know what to do with all the attention (some of it extremely negative and unhinged at that), and it would only get worse after “the atla renaissance.” we got more followers than we knew what to do with, at which we considered just abandoning the blog. my friend did, and handed over the reins to me.

for her, atla was a recent interest that had soured after the fandom became too much to handle, but for me it was an interest that had endured since childhood, and i found that despite all the negative attention, i still really enjoyed having a space where i could unpack my feelings towards this thing that felt like such a significant cultural touchstone, feelings towards characters i had been so deeply moved by for so long, and i enjoyed making art on a consistent basis for an actively receptive audience who praised my skills as an (extremely amateur) artist.

i’ve been drawing atla characters for a very long time, long before i had this blog, but it feels like the incentive to draw for an audience is what motivated me to improve my art over the years, so that’s genuinely been a really nice thing. and i enjoy analyzing art, literature, and media, so trying to pick apart one single text (or multiple connected texts if you wanna bring in lok, the comics, and the novels) for so long is very fun for me.

however, as much as i’ve tried to avoid engaging with bad faith takes, i am nonetheless aware that there is a not insignificant contingent of the fandom who viscerally hate my guts for whatever reason. it’s definitely less prevalent in my daily life now that the fandom is less active (cannot begin to emphasize enough how much the atlassaince ruined my life), but at the time a lot of people wanted to make their hatred of this blog known, loudly. which, especially when you’re in the middle of a lockdown and you cannot leave your room for fear of possibly dying, is not a great feeling.

that’s not really what you’re asking, but since i have had to deal with “bad faith takes” in the most personal possible way, my advice would simply be to try to shut it out. i follow maybe two or three atla blogs, and they are blogs that do not interact with the larger fandom. i do not seek out what other blogs have to say, and confine my scope to my friends and responding to my inbox.

for some reason, atla does seem to be a bad opinions factory, but actively seeking out those opinions is simply not conducive to one’s mental health or a productive use of time, which is why i keep to myself and try to mind my own business. i cannot control how i am perceived, which i am viscerally reminded of every time i see someone reblog an older post from this blog that i didn’t even make (and sometimes straight up do not agree with), but i try to remind myself that this literally has no bearing on my material existence whatsoever, and bad posts aren’t real they can’t hurt you <3

#making this nonrebloggable for obvious reasons #dogsinspaces #asks #housekeeping #running this blog has been such a strange surreal experience #but also. i am just minding my own business it’s fine. this is fine.

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jfleamont · 1 year

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I think it's noteworthy how Sn*ly is all about Sn*p* changing for/because of Lily and how a lot of Jily fans don't like the idea of James changing only for/because of Lily. [I just saw your post talking about James and Lily in sixth year]

Hello! This is something I've thought about a lot.

As I said in the post (here it is), there is a substantial difference between changing for yourself and changing for someone else.

Now, there's nothing wrong with someone inspiring you to change for the better: people can and should be a positive influence on you, especially the ones closest to you. This is not Snape's case in my opinion. Lily tried to stop him from pursuing the dark arts, she showed there was an alternative, but he refused to listen. When she made the choice to cut him out of her life, he didn't accept it and kept harassing her. When he found out Voldemort wanted to kill the Potters, he asked him to spare Lily, and only Lily.

Did he behave differently after she died? You'd think he'd learn a thing or two from the love of his life, like compassion and kindness. Like being good without an ulterior motive. But no, he heavily bullied kids - and not just any kids, we're talking about his students - and was incredibly biased towards Harry because he was his enemy's son. He criticised James' bullying but he did the same thing even as an adult. Sounds a bit hypocritical to me.

It can be argued that Snape was just pretending to be horrible because he couldn't let his cover be blown. And it can also be argued that he grew fond of Harry but never showed it. Let's assume all of this is true... Am I right in thinking that being so hideous came way too easily to him? And what's more important, are we sure he didn't want Voldemort dead purely because he had killed Lily? After all, we have plenty of evidence that he's extremely prone to holding grudges. It makes sense that he'd want to get revenge against the man who didn't spare Lily's life.

We do not know if he had other reasons, but even the memories that Harry sees in the pensieve reinforce my theory. I'll play devil's advocate and not take into account the things he said or did as a Hogwarts student because many people think that he was just being an immature teenager. So let's see what we have:

“If she means so much to you,” said Dumbledore, “surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?” “I have—I have asked him—” “You disgust me,” said Dumbledore, and Harry had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little, “You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?” Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore.

And then:

“The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does.” There was a long pause, and slowly Snape regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing. At last he said, “Very well. Very well. But never—never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear... especially Potter’s son... I want your word!”

But this is when the pain is still fresh, right? Maybe he wasn't thinking clearly. Let's see another passage, ten years later, during Harry's first year, where Snape is 31:

“—mediocre, arrogant as his father, a determined rulebreaker, delighted to find himself famous, attention-seeking and impertinent—”

This is how Snape describes Harry to Dumbledore, the one person he didn't need to lie to, the only person who knew he was a double agent. But then again, this is just at the beginning, he didn't know Harry that well. Maybe he'll change his mind in the future? Let's take a look at the scene where Dumbledore asks him to kill him:

“If you don’t mind dying,” said Snape roughly, “why not let Draco do it?” “That boy’s soul is not yet so damaged,” said Dumbledore. “I would not have it ripped apart on my account.” “And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine?”

Sounds like he doesn't want to be the cause of yet another person's death. Understandable. Snape isn't being selfish at all, no. He's worried about his poor soul, who cares about the soul of 16 year old Draco, am I right? Maybe this next passage will redeem him:

“Why? You aren’t trying to give him more detentions, Severus? The boy will soon have spent more time in detention than out.” “He is his father over again—” “In looks, perhaps, but his deepest nature is much more like his mother’s. I spend time with Harry because I have things to discuss with him, information I must give him before it is too late.” “Information,” repeated Snape. “You trust him... you do not trust me.” “It is not a question of trust. I have, as we both know, limited time. It is essential that I give the boy enough information for him to do what he needs to do.” “And why may I not have the same information?” “I prefer not to put all of my secrets in one basket, particularly not a basket that spends so much time dangling on the arm of Lord Voldemort.” “Which I do on your orders!” “And you do it extremely well. Do not think that I underestimate the constant danger in which you place yourself, Severus. To give Voldemort what appears to be valuable information while withholding the essentials is a job I would entrust to nobody but you.” “Yet you confide much more in a boy who is incapable of Occlumency, whose magic is mediocre, and who has a direct connection into the Dark Lord’s mind!” [...] “You refuse to tell me everything, yet you expect that small service of me!” snarled Snape, and real anger flared in the thin face now. “You take a great deal for granted, Dumbledore! Perhaps I have changed my mind!”

Let's see... He's comparing Harry to James again, calls him mediocre and he's jealous because Dumbledore trusts Harry more than Snape. Oh, and he threatens to turn to the dark side if he doesn't get what he wants. This is a 37 year old man. Perhaps he's just upset because Dumbledore is dying? Yeah, that's it. Let's give him another chance:

Another long silence. Then Snape said, “I thought... all those years... that we were protecting him for her. For Lily.”

[...] “You have used me.” “Meaning?” “I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter’s son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter—” “But this is touching, Severus,” said Dumbledore seriously. “Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?” “For him?” shouted Snape. “Expecto Patronum!” From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe. She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears. “After all this time?” “Always,” said Snape.

I don't know, maybe they should protect Harry simply because he's a kid and he doesn't deserve to die? Isn't that enough? He doesn't have to be Lily's son to be worthy of staying alive. And when Dumbledore insinuates that he cares about Harry, Snape makes it clear that no, it's not for him, and after all these years... It's still for Lily. Because he's asking for her forgiveness. Noble, right? It's not as if you should do good things because it's the right thing to do.

Snape took the page bearing Lily’s signature, and her love, and tucked it inside his robes. Then he ripped in two the photograph he was also holding, so that he kept the part from which Lily laughed, throwing the portion showing James and Harry back onto the floor, under the chest of drawers...

Oh look! He's stealing a letter that wasn't addressed to him! And he's stealing the photograph as well! Well, not all of it, why would he care about James and Harry? Totally normal and justified behaviour from a man who's nearing his forties. Not possessive at all. He definitely deserves to keep that photograph of Lily more than Harry does.

... Sarcasm aside, Snape didn't change his ways. He didn't change his morals.

(Also, in the book Snape never says 'You have your mother's eyes', which, along with Alan Rickman's wonderful perfomance, greatly contributed to Snape being considered a good man. He does ask Harry to look at him, though, implying he wanted to see Lily's eyes one last time. Which makes me think that even up until the end he only saw Harry as an extension of Lily, and not as his own person.)

Unfortunately we don't have nearly enough information about James, but we do know that he saved Snape when he went after Remus to the Shrieking Shack when they were in school, while Snape was perfectly happy to let Lily's husband and son die if it meant she could live. James wasn't a saint when he was younger, and Lily reminded him all the time how much she despised his behaviour. But as I said in the other post, the incident at the lake was eye-opening for both Lily and James. It's clear that he hadn't realised that his actions could have hurt her prior to that. He was a sheltered and ignorant kid, but we know from canon that he grew up. He became responsible enough to be appointed Head Boy without any previous experience as a prefect, and then he joined the Order. Sounds to me like he proved he could grow. Personally I think that Lily wouldn't have let James into her life if she didn't truly think he had changed. Saying that she was brainwashed into marrying James is an insult to her intelligence. It's as if she has no will of her own, no choice, no autonomy. Which is simply no true. This is the same woman who refused to join Voldemort after being offered to, who refused to step aside when Voldemort arrived at Godric's Hollow.

Snape's love - if you want to call it that - for Lily is conditional; James' love for her is selfless. He could have lived a long life but chose to fight and die for the cause. And he made this choice long before they were together, by befriending people like Sirius (a traitor), Remus (a monster) and Peter (an outcast). And after Snape stops poisoning Lily's mind - insulting and judging James and his friends - Lily is free. When he is removed from the equation, Lily is allowed to grow.

In conclusion: Snape did not change and become a better person, and even if he did, it was for selfish reasons.

#jfleamont rambles #jily #jple #lily evans #james potter #asks #I got carried away... sorry #just... be respectful

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onwriting-hrarby · 2 months

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the thing about not getting comments

i have 9 public works in my ao3 account, spanning two fandoms and multiple pairings, and i receive more than 40 weekly kudos in my works, long fics and short fics.

but i never receive a single comment. maybe someone does: they go on a "hera" spree, which i really appreciate, and they comment on most chapters in the long fics and sometimes i will receive a comment of another person in my short fics, and i'm incredibly grateful for every single comment i receive.

but the amount of comments vs kudos is disheartening. this is not a "wake-up call" or "attention seeking" or "blaming" to get more comments, because at this point i'm not really updating a lot, so i get that as much as i complain about not getting comments, others can sense that i'm not a "present" writer. but they keep reading my stories, and they keep giving kudos, and god, i don't write for kudos or numbers, i write for the people.

and the thing about kudos or hits is that they are not people, they are just statistics, they are not, for me, real people at all. they don't tell me if you've enjoyed my work: they tell me you've read it, you've seen it, the same way we've been taught to interact with instagram and twitter posts. kudos are the new "fav", which is to say that they serve more as a "hey, i recognize you" than "hey, what you've said, i agree". and in this era of algorithmic hatred, most of the comments that instagram and twitter content receive are discourses, or hate comments. and in fanfiction it begins to be the same:

how do i justify not getting encouraging comments for MONTHS, but getting 40 kudos a week, and then getting 2 or 3 hateful anons every few weeks? how do i encourage myself after that? is my work only serving to anons? do people not like it enough to leave a mere "i enjoyed this!"? is this the kind of writer that i am?

so no: comments are not the same as kudos. no: we writers wouldn't need to ask for comments, because we don't require "attention" and we write for "ourselves", but: we are sharing this with you. internet is about sharing and talking and exchange. if we were just writing for ourselves, we would not be uploading that. you are reading thousands of stories for free, something that people has crafted. it is not a 240-word tweet. a story is not content (although some might be). literature is a form of art.

i don't write for statistics, but it would be nice to really know what people are thinking about my writing.

pd: to the people who ask why i have taken some of my works down - when i put them up again, i'm plagued with hateful anons (here too). i put them down because i want to work on them as an original fiction, but also because i hold those stories dear, and i know that having them up on ao3 will mean hateful anons, lots of kudos, and few, very few, comments.

#writing #ao3 #fics #kudos #comments #problem #i'm sad i'm sorry

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ome-magical-ramblings · 5 months

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Massacre of the Innocents was/is coming.

The time of Christmas is not that of the nativity of the Child alone; it is also the time of the massacre of the children of Bethlehem—the time where autonomous intelligence is driven to kill, i.e. to strangle and push back into the unconscious, all the tender flowers of spirituality which threaten the absolute autonomy arrogated to itself by intelligence. Valentine Tomberg. Setting the tone of this post with this quote, I could only say I was unsure if this piece should be written publicly or privately for fear of scaring people unnecessarily. In any case it is here for some people who I practiced a Eucharist ritual with some friends recently. Bring your attention at this crucial moment during festive and celebration that we take stock and prepare for the coming days, weeks, and ages.

To imagine that our energy are slowly dwindling and days are shortening, we can only say "I am innocent" and wonder why are we being prosecuted by the cyclical passage of seasons. I also cry "I am not at fault, I won't be strangled and attacked", but how many times one get too proud only for the world to pushed him down and break his pride. In the same sense, all of us have to accept that we have the choice to follow the Star of Magi or to be killed along the innocents. Indeed this is a very dark and grim image. I wanted to start with this images, that of despair and injustice before moving into the alternative. I am not telling you to focus on Jesus, but focus on YOUR star. You will know that a whole world is at stake underlying the exhortation: follow the “star” above you and nothing else! those who follow the “star” must learn a lesson once and for all: not to consult Herod and the “chief priests and scribes of the people” at Jerusalem, but to follow the “star” that they have seen “in the East” and which “goes before them”, without seeking for indications and confirmation on the part of Herod and his people. The gleam of the “star” and the effort to understand its message ought to suffice. This is the whole message of this post, So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. In this moment it is all eternal, time and timelessness are eternal. The clock slows down and you should see thing for what they're, even if the whole year you were half-half about stuff then pull yourself up in this crucial moment as everything "dies" in solstice and be HOT or COLD but it is important to BE SOMETHING. Really have some star, a yogi, your guardian angel, your guru, your teacher, your saints, a prophet, etc. All what I wrote in the past year is for THIS, if you're not strong enough to carry yourself that's okay I am not. Throw yourself at a holy person, angel, star, or guardian angel you trust and attach yourself. Because I CARE ABOUT YOU. In every sense of the word, take refuge in someone holy and be prepared. In the end, the work is judged by how it ends. So there's still time to fix and change any problems or mistakes you might have. If anything I hope that this message reach you and you take it seriously. I put it forth and wish the best for you. I pray that you be safe, Amen.

#occult #magic #witchblr #prayer #jesus christ #tarot #tarotblr

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squ1dteeth · 10 months

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My thoughts on the newest helluva boss (mostly critical)

Man, usually I am in the boat of "critical, but ultimately still love it" with these season 2 eps, but Unhappy Campers might be the first I've hated.

Moxxie and Millie felt like their motivations should have flipped. Millie's need for validation came out of nowhere. She's objectively the most useful and competent member of the team and nobody has ever told her otherwise. Why would she be getting sidetracked by the compliments of some random humans? Moxxie's whole thing is loving and supporting her so Millie acting like he doesn't write more than one song about how amazing she is is really strange.

Likewise, Moxxie does need validation but his attention seeking behavior was really off. One of his strengths is he's a talented songwriter but he basically just wrote a song that went "Me me me me me?" and it just...didn't feel like him. I was watching the episode with a friend and I had so much secondhand embarrassment watching Moxxie make an ass out of himself.

I think the episode would have worked much better if their roles had been swapped. Moxxie has been the narrative's punching bag, especially this season, and it would be fun to have an episode where he is praised for once, but it goes to his head. And Millie feeling jealous, but then realizing her husband needs her support the same way he supports her, would be adorable and make sense for their first real moment of tension onscreen.

There's other ways it could have made sense too. We know very well Moxxie has daddy issues, and his need for Blitz's approval stems from the fact he's an older male authority figure. So what if there was a very fatherly camp counselor there that Moxxie wanted the approval of? In my opinion, this would make much more sense, because since when do M/M care about what humans think of them? Up until this point in the show, human characters have all been disposable meat sacks, with no traits other than dumb or violent. Not only humans, but human teens. It's just very cringeworthy to me since it's such an out of nowhere urge for these married adults to want teens to fawn over them.

Also, from the moment Moxxie said their characters were siblings, I knew it'd be an incest joke. And yeah it did happen...in the worst way possible. Is no one gonna talk about how they stripped down and banged for an audience of preteens? Yes, I get it, it's hell, the characters suck, blah blah blah but not with M/M. I could see characters like Blitzo or Verisoka doing that but M/M? Besides the pegging, I feel like the jokes always been that they're vanilla by hell standards. Moxxie got mad that Blitz watched them fuck and their whole plot in Ozzie's was about how he refused to publicly declare his lewd feelings for Millie. But...they're exhibitionists now, I guess, because this show is no longer about assassination, it's about character assassination.

(Some positives to finish off this post. I really liked Barbie Wire! Her design as a human especially. She's gorgeous and I wish we could have had more of her and Blitz. Also, the backgrounds and shading/lighting are better than ever. I'm a huge fan of the appearance of the sloth ring and the moody pink lighting it comes with. Helluva may irk me with its writing sometimes but the art blows me away enough to keep watching.)

#helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva boss review

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irelandseyeonmythology · 1 year

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Dia duit! Do you happen to know of any other blogs about Irish culture and language that aren't racist about it?

Dia is Muire Duit!

Embarrassingly, I don’t interact with all that many other people who do this sort of thing, mainly for 3 reasons:

(1) Professional distancing -- Small field, everyone knows each other, which means that if I find anyone or anyone finds me, there’s a not-small chance that we know one another IRL. There’s a reason my palms get a little sweaty when I think about new people coming into Tumblr, and a solid portion of that’s that I don’t want....too much attention on what I do here and, especially, not on my main. (Which I know is the equivalent of holding up a meat stick to a bunch of dogs and going “DO YOU WANT THE MEAT STICK?”) I can’t really vent about my department on main anymore simply because, even though names aren’t attached to things, it’s ridiculously easy to narrow me down if you know what to do. I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong, but there’s a difference between Me On Here VS Me in a Professional Context, and it’s been difficult to try to make that sort of...shift from being a shitposting teenager to suddenly being an Academic™. (But also, I don’t want people to think I’m unapproachable, either -- rule of thumb is “Mutually Assured Destruction.” You know I’m on Tumblr, I know you’re on Tumblr, and we both never mention it.)

(2) Wanting to distance myself a little from what I do Every Day -- Posting on here and interacting with people who are willing to seek me out on here is fine, I like that, I enjoy doing it, I enjoy everyone who follows me, but it’s much more on my terms here. (Hence the inconsistent posting schedule.) When I was younger, before this was my job, I could be around it constantly, and it was a lot of fun, but now it’s like....it’s a Lot, now that it’s my actual life. I check in on the Irish Mythology tag every once in a while, but I can’t really follow it like I used to just because it’s this constant state of *engagement* for me, in a way that, say, French musicals that three people in the world like don’t have.

Brain tired, brain needs nappy.

(3) I’ve seen some people on here, when I’ve looked into blogs to follow be....well. Bitches. Especially re: Americans taking this on and, as an American myself who is very serious about my line of work, it does. Rather sting. (I have a lot of complex opinions on the whole business that I won’t get into now, but the tldr is that I get why people can be hesitant, especially with the borderline fetishization of Ireland in the States but, at the same time, the effect is often scaring people who have a genuine interest in this sort of thing away and, when it comes to an endangered language....the more people we have taking the time to learn it, the better.) (But also, if you imply that my degree, which I got from an *Irish* uni is worthless, the claws will come out. I made a lot of sacrifices for that....glorious....piece of poster board in Latin.)

BUT. BUT.

I do have a few. I want to emphasize that these aren’t all the Good People who do Irish Things on Tumblr, these are just the ones, off the top of my head, I can think of.

@trans-cuchulainn Excellent resource on the Ulster Cycle, A+ shitposts

@finnlongman Another Ulster Cycle specialist

@ad-ciu A former colleague and friend of mine, one of the only human beings in the world I trust with Mythological Cycle content. Not on as much these days because they’re doing things like “schoolwork” and “having a life” and “getting a PhD”, but genuinely a wonderful person to follow so you can catch when they do post.

@amylouioc Wonderful artwork inspired by medieval Irish lit, explicitly anti-racist, multicultural Tuatha Dé, Nuada is a snacc.

@forfeda-project Another A+ art blog, am considering getting their pub shirt for Fled Bricrenn to wear at conferences.

@bloctg4 Shitposts in the Irish language, brought to you by Ireland’s own Irish-speaking TV station (or, rather, an intern at said TV station.)

Just want to emphasize -- I definitely don’t believe these are the only non-racist Irish themed blogs on Tumblr, these are just the ones that came to mind, especially since these days I’m the social media equivalent of a hag hanging out in a little cave, sometimes poking my head out to drop a shitpost before returning, shaking my head and muttering.

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peccaberry · 7 months

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I made a Pokemon Legends of Arceus ship list bc lists are fun! These are all just my own personal preferences and not a condemnation/moral judgement of any ship. If a ship isn't listed it's because I don't really have an opinion on it/didn't think of it. Feel free to copy me and make your own list!

❤️ Talk of ships below cut ❤️

OTP ❤️:

Rei x Volo - No one who has spoken to me for more than 2 seconds is surprised about this one. I have an ongoing Fanfiction where they are the main couple and I am probably the biggest shipper of these two that I know of. Rarepair but they mean a lot to me in the specific context they have in the story I am writing. In any other interpretation it can definitely depend because Volorei is something a lot of people like to do in ways I can't get behind.

I tend to stick to just making my own Volorei content and just enjoying that but my friends also have started making content for them at times because they love me and like to see me lose my mind. I love them for it, y'all know who you are 😂

If you want to know more about why I ship this just go read Achilles Come Down (link in my pinned post) bc that is my 100,000 words and counting Volorei thesis paper.

Anyway Volorei is autism 4 autism to me and that should sum it up nicely

I really like this ship:

Adaman x Irida - Two young people leading rival clans who also are probably the only people with any real understanding of the pressures that puts on a person? Good shit good shit! They should yell at each other and then kiss about it. They should date in secret. They should be messy and lovestruck and it should affect the clan relations in ways they must deal with together.

Adaman x Rei - If I had to ship Rei with anyone who wasn't Volo it would absolutely be Adaman. I'd probably be cool with writing fanfic about them in the future but seeing as the next billion years will be taken up by writing Volorei in ACD it's too soon to say if that will happen.

Dawn x Irida - One of my friends ships this and has inducted me into the cult. Not something I would have thought of on my own but it's cute and if you've been following me I'm sure you've seen my art of it 😂 I prefer considering this interpretation as one of Dawn in the place of Akari bc Akari is aro ace to me.

Adaman x Melli - A ship full of any number of potentially hilarious situations. I actually really like it and I feel like there are actually some things that could be interpreted as canon feelings on Melli's end and I feel like that would be interesting to explore. Good luck Melli, go get your man!

Ginter x Tuli: THEY ARE MARRIED TO ME OK??? This is actually canon based on I said so.

Cogita x Ama: Ok this one is just Cogita x My fanfic oc but this is my list so I get to put it on here. Let the ridiculous sapphic woman get her awkward immortal gf ok? I mean it ends tragically in ACD but I still like them together so this is definitely my top Cogita ship.

I could get behind this:

Mai x Arezu - They both eat hot chips be bisexual and lie together. It's just so obvious how could they not be together? Needs more research.

Adaman x Volo - This is probably the only non Rei ship I would probably ever consider for Volo. Idk if I have any strong feelings about why or how it would work but they seem like two personalities that could be interesting together. Wouldn't seek it out or anything but maybe it wouldn't be so bad?

Cyllene x Cogita: Older ladies kissing? You have my attention.

Pesselle x any age appropriate girl: You know it!!! 🥺❤️ we must research the potential....

The Miss Fortune Sisters: Lesbian crime triad tbh. Absolutely Iconic for it.

I don't particularly like this ship:

Palina x Iscan - This ship held so much potential, especially as the only canon one, but overall it kind of disappointed me in practice. Iscan is just so cartoonishly afraid of ghost types it kind of makes him harder for me to like because they made it so much of his personality. If they'd been less heavy handed with it I'd probably like this couple more but I just end up feeling meh because I don't wanna see them interact more.

I feel like someone could convince me with a good fic where Iscan is treated like less of a complete coward though. There's nothing wrong with having fears or phobias but I guess I just didn't vibe with this particular portrayal of it. It's really too bad because the backstory they have together is so sweet and they are one of the ones I wanted to like the most but it just didn't end up happening. Iscan deserved better writing tbh.

Laventon x Cyllene - Cyllene just doesn't seem like she'd appreciate Laventon like he deserves. He's so nice to her and she just kinda brushes him off. I'm sure some people like ice queen type pairings and if you do you'd probably like it more than me but I want Laventon to have someone who acts just as happy to be with him as he would be with them.

Hard no:

Volo x Akari

Volo x Ingo

Volo x Emmet

Purely personal reasoning but I do what I can to avoid them. There's nothing wrong with them I just don't want to see it because all the characters here besides Volo I like to interpret as Aro/Ace and as an aro ace person myself it's just gonna be that way for some ships 😂 I also interpret Volo as a lot younger and the twins as a lot older than a lot of people so it's just not my thing based on that too.

It also feels weird that Volo x Emmet is as much of a thing as it is because Emmet is not in PLA. It makes it feel like more of a submas fandom thing than an actual PLA fandom thing so I honestly am pretty heavily dissociated from wanting to see it even more than with Ingo.

Volo x Cogita - While I know there's no official interpretation of their relationship I feel like too much points to both Cogita being way older than him (her having lines under her eyes/grey hair to indicate being older, her calling him "young man" to indicate she sees him in a much different age group than her) and potentially a direct ancestor of him herself (how similar they look in facial structure)

Now you could interpret things as they are the two unrelated people that got together to eventually have Cynthia and they are both immortals or whatever but it doesn't really seem that way to me and it kinda just doesn't vibe for me because of that. No shade if you disagree but it's not for me! They will always be dysfunctional family members in my eyes.

#peccaspeaks #pokemon shipping #pokemon legends of arceus

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