#I dodged a bullet but like. goddamn lmao

[deansaget]

tfw Mr. “I'm just a good person who tries to treat everyone with respect” straight up told me he doesn't respect me, was not thinking about how I feel and only thought about himself, gaslit my emotions and experience by saying that "this is just his job he was always just trying to be nice" as though he wouldn't make a point to see me and stick around to talk for 20-30min at work, alleged that I was cornering him, and then misconstrued all the honest good stuff I said about him as jabs????

I've never met someone so committed to convincing other people that they're a horrible person omfg and punishing them for thinking they have good in them like??? what the fuck??? ALSO WHY WOULD IT MATTER IF I TOLD YOU I STARTED TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE, WHY WOULD THAT BE A JAB IF YOU CLEARLY ALREADY PICKED SOMEONE ELSE OVER ME AND ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND ME SAYING THIS WAS LITERALLY IN RESPONSE TO THAT HE IS DELULU OMFGGGGGG

#covert narcissism #sooooo crazy #he's right he lives in a fantasy world #dude literally called himself the main character omfg #I dodged a bullet but like. goddamn lmao #I really genuinely believed he could be better and was working on himself #godspeed to the person he picked LOL

[aces-to-apples]

Damn I’m disappointed you’re falling in the camp of going from threatening an abuse victim with a lawyer and telling them to shut up, I had hoped with stance on other fandom harassment you would empathize.

............hey remember when I first got into Star Wars fandom and ended up following and being pseudo-friends with goddamn clonehub of all the fucking people and participated in a fucking smear campaign against several other artists for such "crimes" as "drawing icky art that made me, personally, uncomfortable"? Can you even imagine how fucking embarrassing that is to recall as a actual adult rn?? I literally want to tear my skin off sometimes remembering that I was absolutely certain that my personal discomfort and fucking ignorance was more important than other peoples' right to just fucking exist and vibe in their corner of fandom and I think we should all take a minute to contemplate how much more of a goddamn nightmare my loud obnoxious ass would be if I'd actually ended up full-on puriteen..... Fucking harrowing, isn't it?

And you know what? Maybe I'll end up having backed the wrong metaphorical horse this time as well and find out that I once again am running in the same circles and happily interacting with yet another goddamn bully. Shit's fucking embarrassing, if nothing else, lemme tell you. (God remember that bitchy little "ah shucks weren't you and clonehub friends once?? What happened???" anon ask a while back? Talk about harrowing lmao.)

But I've been running in the same circles as Jer for years, I'm friends with several people who've been Friends-friends with her for years and even decades who vouch for her, and I've witnessed several hate and harassment campaigns run against her already. And I don't know any of these people crawling out of the woodwork to start shit so idk. I'm going with my gut here. Maybe it'll work out like shit again. Or maybe I'll dodge the bullet this time and not participate in a vindictive smear campaign against people who make the "wrong art" or whatever the fuck.

And like.

Hey, Anonymous Goddamn Citizen, you ever considered that I'm fucking tired? That I'm tired to my goddamn bones of how every reactionary bitch on this planet with an internet connection can and will just make heinous shit up about random fucking people that they don't like and convince enough people to jump on the dogpile to the point where the truth doesn't even matter anymore?? Do you how many times I've witnessed this in the last three years alone??? I'm fucking tired man! I'm tired!!

So like. Idk. Maybe fuck your snotty ham-fisted attempt at a guilt-trip? And fuck your manipulative, performative bullshit "disappointment" with Internet Rando #7014?? Maybe even fuck you personally???

I mean, I don't know you, because if I did then you wouldn't be on anon, you'd be in my DMs actually trying to talk to me instead of, in all likelihood, hunting through Flamethrower's posts and copy-pasting this shit into the inbox of everyone who reblogs her posts or whatever. Like that's usually how I see this shit go. And believe me, I have seen this shit go. If we were friends, and therefore someone whose opinion I care about, you wouldn't be hiding behind an anonymous function, taking advantage of the observable fact that I am fundamentally incapable of not having both an opinion and the last word.

Yet here you are.

And here I am, answering the bait, as is my custom. But hey, I extra super deluxe mega promise that if I end up on the wrong side of history here, I'll do the whole YouTuber Apology song and dance and you'll get to smugly say I fuckin told you so. I'm sure that'll make you very happy.

'Til then, just as an unnecessary bit of extra snotty pedantry to sign off: I'm actually hypoempathetic, so feel free to hold your breath waiting for me to empathize with literally anything. Funnily enough, I'm actually trying not to let my personal knee-jerk reactions dictate my sense of morality and ethics these days. Just as a fun change from Anti-Lite Apples of 2017-2019ish??

#if i'm wrong then i'm wrong and i'm sure i'll feel very embarrassed #fortunately i'm literally nobody and nothing and not a goddamn person is basing THEIR opinions on whatever dumb shit I say #anon asks #answered asks #by apples #fandom slapfight #fandom harassment #gee apples how come you're more inclined to believe people that you know and like instead of these randos you've never even seen before??? #golly i don't know that's a tough one why AREN'T i just tossing over a years-old relationship #with someone who has been targeted over and over by hate and harassment campaigns run by insufferable gremlins #for actual goddamn years in favor of literal strangers whose word means absolutely nothing to me?? that's a doozy. #maybe you better grab an abacus and sit down to do THAT math idk #long post

[rollanan]

john and rose vs jack rematch

idk i just want to put this silly thing i wrote here in tumblr too

i had read somewhere that john and rose should had a rematch against jack on s collide and i wholeheartedly agree

so i thought it might go like this(im bad at writing so forgive me lmao)

pm and jack had recently been fighting for a while now with pm having the upper hand and pinned jack to the ground. as pm was about to deliver the final blow a flash of green light appears.

pm looks toward the flash and sees a red figure appear, she immediately raises her sword to block dave's attack and as she steps backward as she also got showered by bullets which she teleported to dodge them.

"jade we cannot handle two of them at once" shouts dave. "ill go teleport one of them out of here" replies jade. jade proceeds to teleport herself, dave and pm away on a flash of green light, jack continues lying on the ground for a while confused at what the hell just happened

"well well well look at what we have here" jack hears the voice and immediately stands up with sword in hand to the direction of the voice. there he sees john and rose, also with weapons ready in hand

"john?" says rose "yes?" john replies back "i think it's time to hammer the nail into the coffin once and for all"

rose proceeds to attack first sending a beam of magic straight into jack, he teleports behind john and attempts to stab him. having learned from his past mistakes john gracefully dodged the attack and attacks back with his hammer.

giving jack a really powerful blow right at the side of his head. he tumbles backward and rose sends another beam to his direction. jack gains his footing and dodges the beam by flying upwards. jack feels a gust of wind on his back.

john had appearified behind him and swings his hammer, jack was able to block the attack but not without getting sent back to the ground. rose once again sends a beam into jack, but he redirects it into john. fortunately he was able to block and tank the attack with his hammer.

rose seeing her mistake proceeds to go melee with her wands and approaches jack. he blocks rose's attack, john sees that jack is busy with rose he went for jack for another hammer blow.

jack notices john and teleports away with johns hammer landing on the ground with such force that rose who was nearby was sent backwards and nearly lost her footing.

jack teleports into rose, she tries to dodge his attack but failed giving her a slash on her shoulder, jack tries another slash after that but john uses the wind to stop jack while rose ignores the pain, dodges and sends a beam right into his stomach.

jack gets launched with the beam into john. just like baseball john swings his hammer into the flying jack and tumbles back into the ground.

once again rose sends another attack. jack dodges it again by flying upwards but not without the blast and smoke from the ground disorienting him.

he sees an orange figure from the clouds of dust and proceeds to block roses slash, but rose has two wands, jack only has one sword, rose uses the other wand and gives jack a clean slash on his cheek

jack tries to attack back but john appearifies between them and blocks jack's sword with such force he nearly lost his grip.

jack goes forward and attacks back but john turns into wind to avoid his slash while rose stabs behind jack with both of her quills straight into Jack's stomach.

rose pulls back while john once again sends a blow this time to his chest. jack thinks he cannot lose to goddamn children with nails and hammers.

jack attacks back to john, aiming right to his face. john once again blocks the attack. his arm and hands holding the sword almost feels like its going to shatter.

jack notices rose behind him and blocks her attack, john once again swings his hammer, jack once again blocks his attack but john uses the windy thing to lift up the hammer along with the sword and in one perfect slash rose behind him cuts his arm holding the sword and the ring.

john swings his hammer one last time straight into his face and goes smashing back down to the ground unconscious.

"we did it rose, we did it!!" says john "nice work to us, especially to you john" she replies back.

john and rose go back down. "hey rose!! come here" rose goes to john, he then proceeds to jokingly propose to rose with the ring and slides it into her finger, they then proceed to laugh and giggle together.

#john egbert #rose lalonde #jack noir #grimdorks #homestuck #writing #???? #idk how to tag this #words

[thepuckishrogue]

Javier Escuella x GN!Reader in: P-R-E-Double T-Y, Pretty Boah~

NSFW ABCs || X is for ‘X-Ray’

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

↞ Previous: Dismantle. Repair. || W is for ‘Wild Card’

|| ao3 version | abcs m.list | rdr m.list | writing blog ||

↠ Requested By: No one, naturally. ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: Not-SFW, obviously. ((MINORS BEGONE!!)) ↠ CWs/TWs: None ↠ Total WC: 1.1k~

↠ No fic this time around guys. Sorry about it, but I couldn’t think of anything and honestly I’m ready to wrap this thing up lol. But! The title was taken from Taemin’s aptly name song “Pretty Boy”. Six years later and it’s still a bop...

X-Ray || How they look with their clothes off.

💦Tags: Uhhh, nothing of note here besides my hand and tattoo kinks showing their asses, lmao…

Now originally this one asked what he’s packing, but honestly I’ve not stared at enough dicks in my lifetime to make that even remotely interesting; imo it’s average length, but thick as fuck, and that’s about all I have to say on the matter lol. Since that’s obviously not enough to warrant a whole post instead we’re going with this modified version which I got from another list. I don’t remember who created said list, so my apologies for that.

But anyways! We got a lot of ground to cover, so let’s get into things, shall we?

|| The Scars

Whether we’re talking a modern AU or something more canon compliant this man has his fair share of scars.

In the yeehaw days most were earned from living life as an outlaw. There’re at least half a dozen overly smooth lines on either arm from near misses with blades and bullets alike; a few puckered scars from the unfortunate occasions where he wasn’t able to find cover in time to dodge the latter. He also has a decent amount of knife wounds, though most of these are compliments of his love for five-finger fillet. These nicks are, for the most part, super old and confined to his hands—though he does earn himself a new entry (or several) every now and then if he actually finds someone that can match or exceed his skill. The rest of the knife wounds were earned in various bars and the like, and the fights that always seemed to find him there; these are mostly confined to his forearms and torso with the exception being the cut on his neck. As for my theory on how he earned that one…

Well, he was out with his former lady-love and someone made the great mistake of disrespecting her. This led to him bodying a mf, much to said mf’s surprise. Dude thought that just because our mans is on the smaller side that he would be easy pickings, and he, of course, was very, very wrong. Humiliated, the accoster limped off to lick at his wounds, but just because he’d been beaten in that moment that didn’t mean that he’d been defeated. He caught Javi a few days later in a blitz attack—meaning he cracked him over the head with his dagger’s handle before pulling him in and pressing the blade against his neck.

He probably could’ve killed Javier if he hadn’t started monologuing like a goddamn idiot. Honestly it was some shit straight out of a B-rated action flick; he really wanted Javi to remember who he was, and what he’d done, and why he was about to die. It was all very dramatic, and low-key annoying, but good in that it gave Javi enough time to loosen his own blade and drive it back into the man’s side. It wasn’t a killing blow, but it was enough to get the man to flinch. This was both good and not—good because Javier was mostly free at that point, not because the blade ended up digging into his neck some. The resulting wound was deep, but thankfully not so deep as to cause any fatal damage.

Back in the yeehaw days this is what set off the chain of events that eventually led to him fleeing Mexico all together—at least in my personal canon—and ig the same can apply to modern AUs, depending on said AU. And since we’re on the subject–

In modern times he obviously doesn’t have the bullet scars and other combat related injuries—or hell, maybe he does if this is a Gang/Mob!AU type deal—though FFF is still a thing he enjoys across all AUs/eras so his hands being nicked up is p. much always a given. The neck slice is also still present and, as I said, was obtained in much the same way.

|| The Tattoos (oh lawd, the tattoos)

But his scars are far from being the most notable thing to grace his skin because tattoos are a thing and they are a very, very good thing indeed.

Look, Imma level with you guys—I am an absolute fucking whore for tattoos so naturally I want to cover anyone I can in the things lol. Luckily I think that Javi would be pretty into them. He views tattoos as a cross-section between accessories, art, and self-expression. Because of this his reasons for getting them ranges from “I thought it would look cool.” to memorials of lost loved ones to just wanting to get inked by a certain artist.

As for what he specifically has that’s a whole ass thing and too much for me to think about right now. No, seriously, I would be here for literal days coming up with designs and trying to arrange them in a way that flows lmao. It doesn’t help matters that I switch between him being absolutely covered in ink and only having a few tasteful pieces. Regardless of how many he has, I do think he’d be a fan of blackwork. I don’t really see him having too much color at all; maybe the odd pop here and there for aesthetic, but that’s it.

Also—HAND TATTOOS. That’s it, that’s the kink. He’s already got amazing hands, now imagine them (especially his fingers, holy SHIT) accented with ink…

(I’m totally not fanning myself as furiously as a southern belle at an outdoor ball during the height of summer, no sir.)

|| The Whole Damn Package

Looking beyond his skin, dude’s got a body regardless of what century he’s in. If we’re talking outlaw!Javier it’s earned by necessity as it just isn’t viable to not be in shape by his estimation. So much of his life revolves around physical work, be this tending to his chores around camp or the more dangerous side of gang life, so being at least somewhat fit is kinda unavoidable. It makes his life easier and moderately safer if he’s able to do things quickly without having to worry about getting winded or not being strong enough to get things done.

In modern times he understands the importance of keeping healthy, plus he’s—well not exactly vain, but he does take pride in his appearance. He likes to look good both in and out of his clothes so exercise is a must for him. This doesn’t mean that he likes doing it though lol. He’s that guy that goes into the gym on a mission; he’s got his regimen and his workout playlist and god fucking help anyone who gets in the way of him getting shit done lmao.

Overall he is a very pretty boah—10/10, would ogle again.

Up next: “Seriously?” or Five Times Your Friends Were So Over Your Foolishness || Y is for ‘Yearning’

“Seriously?”

↠ In which the pair of you can’t catch a fucking (heh) break…

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2020 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

#javier escuella x reader #javier escuella x gn!reader #javier escuella x gender neutral reader #javier escuella x neutral reader #((immy does fan fiction: the yeehaws))

[second-chance-stray]

RP Log: Cravs and Rising go on a disastrous hike.

Cravendy Hound has invited Rising to “relaxing hike through Sorrel Haven,” despite the area being infested by countless malboros and ziz. She leaves off that part - it’s not lying if you just don’t mention it. For now, she waits by the exit of the White Wolf gate for her companion.

Rising Lotus wasn't too far behind Cravendy, strolling through the gate a few minutes later and catching up to her. "Hey there!" as she was hurrying over her eyes gazed upwards toward the giant fallen tree. "Gods, it's crazy how huge they get out here, I guess by the company home too, but like," she outstretched her hands around her.

Rising Lotus: "Out in the forest forest the trees get so big here! "

Cravendy Hound: “Ye know, I’ve ‘eard that they’re just as tall below ground. What poor sod ‘ad to be the one to dig one up and find that out though, eh?” Cravs shrugs.

Rising Lotus rubbed her chin. "Maybe they dug out a littler one and jus' figured it was the same? Or not the same, but figured, bigger the tree bigger the roots." she returned the shrug, she was no botanist after all.

Cravendy Hound rubs her chin. “Mmh, that makes sense. But ‘ell if I know ‘ow trees work, specially out ‘ere in the Shroud.” She then absentmindedly fiddles with her gun as she turns to face the forest. “Anyway, let’s ‘ead out and ‘ope nothin’ interrupts our walk...though with my luck, we should expect the worst.”

Rising Lotus nodded, putting her hands behind her head afterwards. "I'm sure there ain't nothin' we can't handle. I /am/ back to full strength after all." she flashed a cocky grin. "Lead on!"

Cravendy Hound leads on, past stalking brood ziz and to the oddly named ‘Hopeseed Pond.’ She wrinkles her nose upon seeing the weird, planty...meaty? Plant-meat creatures wading around. “Ye know what, I don’t know what I was thinkin’ bringin’ us ‘ere. If one of those boros breath on ye, ye’ll be sick once again.”

Rising Lotus is calm despite the wildlife all around them. "Ugh..can smell their maws from here.." her eyes dropped to the bridge, then back to the pond full of ravenous giant plants. "Gonna go out on a limb an' say not many folk use this bridge no more." she pauses for a moment. "Hey! Why you so sure it's gonna get me sick!" she huffed a bit.

Rising Lotus: "I mean one ain't breathed on me yet and I wanna keep it that way, but it could jus' as easily hit you. Plus! Me being sick last week was jus'...a fluke."

Cravendy Hound playfully bumps Rising’s shoulder with her fist. “Aye, right right, a fluke. As for me, I never get sick. So if one of these boros come our way, ye can just stand behind me, heh.” She then takes a step on the rickety bridges and observes how...well. Gross it is? The whole area is pretty gross? Rotten wood and stagnant waters and looming monsters - but a little danger never hurt anyone.

Rising Lotus cracked a smirk. "Well to be honest I'm more worried about the smell then gettin' sick, but if you wanna take the brunt of it for me.." she was sure to follow behind Cravs as she started across the bridge, testing each plank with her foot before putting her weight on it.

Cravendy Hound is not nearly as careful as Rising, and strides forward with all the confidence in the world. She inadvertently steps onto a weakened plank of wood, which snaps under her weight. She falls, one leg stuck in the gap. “Goddamned shite piece of wood!”

Cravendy Hound: “I think ye were right about people not comin’ ‘ere often...” She grumbles under her breath.

Rising Lotus was caught off guard by Crav sinking down, more by her reaction than the actual board breaking. She carefully hurried behind her. "You didn't get cut up at all did ya?" She was right behind Cravs, looking over her shoulder and trying to peer down the hole. "Here lets get ya out of there.." kneeling down, she hooked her hands under Crav's shoulders.

Rising Lotus: "I'll pull ya slowly, you jus' make sure you don't get torn up or a nasty splinter on the way up."

Cravendy Hound: “I don’t need ye fussin’ over me like some freshfaced whelp, I got it,” Cravs stammers as she wiggles left and right in attempt to wiggle herself free from Rising’s help. “Don’t ye worry yer pretty lil’ face, it’ll take more than a splinter to down ol’ Cravs.”

Cravendy Hound - However, as she tries to pull herself up, she feels something keeping her ankle held down. That’s odd. And, more embarrassingly, she’s still stuck after being so confident earlier. The more she struggles, the deeper her leg sinks. By now, Cravs is sweating bullets.

Rising Lotus was still concerned, but she did get it, being incredibly stubborn herself at times. She released Cravs and stood back up. "Alright alright, I shouldn't of doubted ya." snickering a bit, she took a step back, giving her friend the space she might need to escape. "I'll make sure nothin' comes by to maybe take a bite of a delicious leg wigglin' under the bridge..an' I'll give ya a heads up if any travelers are comin' too."

Cravendy Hound - To this, Cravs only grunts in response. Coherent thoughts escape her under the immense embarrassment she’s currently dealing with. If Rising were to look under the bridge, she’d find a juvenile stroper idly tugging on Crav’s leg. Every time the Sea wolf tries to lunge out, it pulls her back down by the foot with greater force.

Rising Lotus was still waiting for her friend to free herself, keeping an eye on the bigger stroper's minding their own business thankfully. "Alright no need to make a big show out of it all, stop stallin' before you fall all the way through." she was biting her lower lip gently to stifle a bit of laughter. "You stuck on somethin'? Want me to peek under the bridge?" she started toward the edge, more so to try and catch a glimpse of Crav's leg comically wiggling under it.

Cravendy Hound: “‘Suppose the Navigator saw fit to destroy what little remains of me pride, right ‘ere and now.” Cravs crumples against the bridge and sighs against the wood. “Aye, yeah, it feels like somethin’s got my foot. Can ye see what it is?”

Rising Lotus quickly got to her knees and stuck her head over the side of the bridge, eager to see what manner of thing had snagged the Seawolf. "Oh! It's a baby one of these things!" she waved an arm out to the pond. "Luckily his teeths don't look too sharp yet, still has a good grip on ya though." Cravs would hear a bit of snorting and giggling coming from under the bridge. Rising grabbed her spear off her back, not bothering to start up aetherial blade, and started jabbing at the small stroper, not aiming to hurt it really, but just shoo it off. "Go on get ya lil bastard!"

(Cravendy Hound) you know what I'm feeling spicy )) (Cravendy Hound) Random! 19 (Cravendy Hound) aaahahha )) (Rising Lotus) Well then, bye leg!))

Cravendy Hound - The young Stroper turns to Rising and squirms in an attempt to dodge the jabs. It succeeds...that is, it succeeds in annoying it. It puffs up a bit and then charges at Rising in an attempt to knock her down. But as it does so, it fails to loosen its grip on Cravs, and the sudden motion tugs the Seawolf completely through the half-rotten boardwalk.

Cravendy Hound: “WHAT THE FU-” Cravs gets out before she falls face first into the slimy malboro.

(Cravendy Hound) I love a good bad roll )) (Rising Lotus) How big is it, like minion malboro sized or bigger?)) (Cravendy Hound) hmm I'm taking that Stroper nearby as adult, and the giant one as grandpa )) (Cravendy Hound) so teen = half of the adult size? )) (Rising Lotus) Okays! Also grandpa malboro x3))

Rising Lotus's eyes went wide as she saw Cravs fall through the bridge, all upside down from her perspective. "Ah shit!" pulling herself back up, she swung her legs over the side of the walkway and hopped down, shuddering as the mud she landed in seeped into her sandal boots. With Cravs so close to the beast, she didn't dare turn the blade to her lance on. Instead she reeled back then attempted to give it a good thwap across to the side of it's toothy mug

Random! Rising Lotus rolls a 224.

Cravendy Hound - Thwap! The beast is taken aback by Rising’s attack and, being young and inexperienced, decides to hightail it outta there. Cravs is taken along for the ride.

Cravendy Hound: “Overgrown, squid-looking plant bastard - argh!” As she’s dragged along the ground, she fumbles for her pistol and attempts to send a couple of rounds towards her captor.

Random! You roll a 55.

Cravendy Hound misses. Even worse, she drops her gun. Cravs goes limp, just...unable to take much more embarrassment.

(Cravendy Hound) lmao the RNG gods have something against me today xD ))

Rising Lotus grinned at the direct hit, quickly grimacing after it took off with Cravs in tow. "Oh gods damnit!" with a huff and a twist of her wrist the aetherial blade sparked alive. "Alright, uh, Cravs! Try to keep yourself high!" she was able to easily keep up with the stropper's wiggling legs, and when she got in range she aimed a mighty swipe across it's lower half, hoping to separate its top half from its bottom half.

(Rising Lotus) Random! 957 (Rising Lotus) That's causee the all the luck is mine \o/ )) (Cravendy Hound) all the luck!!! ))

Cravendy Hound - The swing separates the stroper into two. On both ends, its limbs continue to wiggle around like landlocked eels, but despite its continued movement, the monster is clearly dead. Or at least downed - who knows how malboros work.

Cravendy Hound gets up, completely covered in mud and malboro slime. She wipes her face clean with the side of her arm, revealing a very pissed off expression. For a moment, she simply stands there, dazed. She had said so herself earlier, that something bad was going to happen...but there was no preparing for something like this. Eventually, she glances over at Rising.

Cravendy Hound: “.............That happened.”

Rising Lotus quite pleased with her slice, she started to the the lifeless maw to help Cravs up, though didn't make much distance before she got up on her own. As she stowed her spear, she was doing her absolute best to not laugh as she saw the woman wearing a nice coat of ooze. It was when Cravs cleaned her face she lost her composure, snickering softly at first but quickly bursting into full out bellowing laughter.

Rising Lotus: " I-I-I'm sorry! I-I Am!" she started to snort a bit as she laughed, quickly cupping a hand to her mouth as her cheeks blushed a bit. "R-Really...aha... I'm glad you're alright!" she snorted once more before her laughter started to ease down.

Cravendy Hound is as still as a statue, save for the mud that slorgs down her body at a painfully slow speed. Cravs then lets her head go limp as a sort of mischievous intent grows within her. Once Rising is done laughing, she lifts her head back up with an evil grin on her face. “OH, oho...no need to apologize! After all, ye saved my ‘ide. Now let me give ye a proper thank ye.”

Cravendy Hound spreads her slime and mud covered arms, and then tries to hug (though it’s more of a tackle) Rising to the ground.

Rising Lotus "N-Now wai-" she had just put up her hands to try and halt Cravendy's assault when her muddy form smacked against Rising, both of them falling onto the ground with a splat. Rising laid there motionless for a few moments as Cravs pinned her down before. "You ass!" she finally blurted out, scrambling to push the sea wolf off of her now mud covered self.

Cravendy Hound is already one with the mud - she cannot be muddied any further. She cackles gleefully as she’s pushed over. “Thank ye kindly, oh noble adventurer!” It takes a good while for her to calm down enough to do anything but laugh from the ground. When she’s finally able to get up, she plods over to pick up her gun and flicks the mud off of it. “Ahh...haha. Hah.”

Rising Lotus quickly sat up after Cravs was pushed off, the entire back of her form coated in the sludge. The front was covered quite a bit too, front the tackle hug and the stuff the the ground that seeped over. As she tried to get up she shuddered, the openness of her outfit probably to blame. "Ugh...it's.. it's.." she shuddered once more. Needless to say she'd need a deep cleaning.

Cravendy Hound: “If we ‘ike to the end of the trail, all of this shits gonna ‘arden on us like a second skin. I’m ‘eadin’ back afore that ‘appens,” Cravs states as she gives her gun a good lookover. Poor thing had mud clogging up its every opening, and water was never good for metal. Better hurry. She turns to Rising. “A dip in the pools round the Lavender Beds should be enough.”

Rising Lotus nodded. "Aye.. probably don't want us trackin' this through the house either..." she started scraping off as much as she could. "Gods, it was bad enough the first time this happened.." she stomped through the muck to the shore, boots full of mud by now. "Though last time this happened it wasn't friendly fire." she shot a sneer toward Cravs, chuckling softly soon after.

Cravendy Hound - With every step, the two became less Roegadyn and more akin to mudmen. And on their way back to the FC, many civilians, just going on their day to day lives, would stop to stare. Thankfully, the walk wasn’t especially long, and the lake surrounding the Lavender Beds would do a fine job of washing them clean, though the stench lingered. A proper bath was certainly necessary after the fact.

#ff14 rp logs #Cravendy Hound #Rising Lotus #lets go on a relaxing hike! spoiler: it was not relaxing

[bishiglomper]

Lmao I just dodged a huge fuckin' bullet thank fuckin' God

I finally got a hold of the new pain clinic. You know, because my insurance said I didnt have a doctor anymore? But between us getting covid, generally being useless and these damn people not getting back to us... It's been a month.

Well, the news was that I would need to start from scratch: send in a new referral, an MRI and an establishment appointment. Before they'd consider treating me. Meanwhile I'm already stretching the remainder of my lyrica to 1/3rd its dose for 6 more days before empty. Oh, but the kicker was this: they're booked through December anyway.

I was lamenting this to my beautiful wonderful sister when she got right on the phone to get that referral and see if my primary could spot me some lyrica until then.

And it turns out.

That the insurance people are goddamned idiots. My doctor still takes my insurance. It sounded like they moved and had an address issue. Not that anyone cared to rectify it, I guess.

So I have an an appointment first thing in the morning. All is good.

Well, except for the reasons I need the appointment but we'll deal with that tomorrow..

[thingswannasave]

Shit Damon Says: The Remake Pt 1

Funny starters based on things I have actually said:

"I'm not obsessed with knives, I just like sharp pointy objects. " " I've got anal glaucoma, I just can't see my ass goin' anywhere today." " I'll eat your soul with a rusty fuckin' spoon." "Pickles are the instigators of communism." " Santa wouldn't give me a pony, but I'd ride you like a horse." " Are you really hanging up pictures at 3 in the morning?" "No, you shouldn't be having sex with a lawnmower"

"Here I am tending to my memes and watering my blog with relatable ™️ content and y'all can't stop poppin boners for 5 goddamn seconds." "TOUCH A TIDDIE -Name here- U CAN DO IT!"

" They like gemini twins, yin an yang....only they both Taurus"

" TIME TO GET STRIPPERIN AT WORK! "

" Look, I cannot believe you would out me like this. "

" I am super innocent, never seen a single tiddie. "

" You would blame me for these shenanigans. "

" GOOD JOB -Name here-, YOU FUCKED GOD! "

"I AM LIKE GAY FOR HORROR. “

"I had one my friend mixed that had absynthe, rum, jaeger and a few different vodkas, it was nothing but alochol and it was....disgusting. We nicknamed it "Mouthwash" and I was the only one who would drink it...a whole fucking red solo cup"

" Antisocial bitch does art, more at 10. "

" What is the sex, I have no clue. "

" I have never in my life even looked at 1 smut. "

" GET THE ANGEL NAKED!! “

" Apparently I'm attracted to murderous assholes. "

" ....actually that isn't a joke, one of my exes legit murdered someone recently soooo.... "

" Imagine finding out dodging THAT bullet. "

" That's what he gets for being a big ol dickbag. "

" Who is getting DPed? "

" Wow just like in real life. "

" See him strip, see him daaance, making God shit in his paaants~ "

" OOOHHH SEE THAT BOY,  MAKE A SCENE, HE WANNA FLIRT WITH A QUEEN~ "

" Paypal hung up on me like a bunch of douches. "

" God put the pointy end in the squishy part. Make big ow. "

" He will kill you later Chuckie Sneeze. "

" Okay imma poof now that I have upset the balance with skeleton dick. "

" That artist didn't draw him buff enough lmao. "

"A SKELETOn??? IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN SERVER??!?"

" She's a turd. A witch with a capital B. "

" Every day is sexually frustrate -Name Here- day if you aren't a bitch."

" I had to be an antisocial eboy and listen to music to bring back my will to live. "

" Mini Apocalypse in the livingroom. "

" Snap me Daddykins UwU "

" That was exactly why I said it, for cringe factor lmaooo. "

" I describe myself as " Casual Disinterest #Aesthetic" "

" GOOD THING HE'S BEEN TO A STRIPCLUB. "

" Wait who is already naked? "

" I'm like a huge music nerd, my loner self will just listen to music all the time. "

"Enters Chic-Fil-A, BBQ sauce on my gender non conforming nipples. Dick out. I am forcibly removed from the premises. "

" I WAS ON GRINDR. "

" THEY WERE SENDING PICS SO I NEEDED TO SEND BACK WHAT I WAS PACKIN. "

" I think that is the proper response to dick pics right? "

#Askbox meme #Askbox memes

[leorugiet]

part one

part two

plz enjoy this comic of iris dragging cor to get a parfait against his will and getting him to take an awkwardly cute photo.

#iris is too precious for this world #or any other world #click for links #I love how her threat is 'you're going to make me eat this parfait alone?' #and guilt trips him into coming along #cause he just NOPES the fuck out when he's like #cutesy parfait/ice cream parlor??? #nu-uh #i don't wanna #also damn this artists draws cor huge af #goddamn #i can't tell exactly what the chocobros are saying but p much something like gladio dodged a bullet cause those fuckin things cost a lot #LMAO #cor shucking out all his cash for his not-children #he loves them truly

[supercasey]

So I watched Batman Ninja with my buddy Jason the other night...

Under a readmore because I'm screaming and y'all normal people don't need to see this shitshow.

So, like, to begin with; the animation is gorgeous- I will in no way try to deny that- and does a lot of cool things with the art style. You can tell a lot of work went into this movie, and while I personally find it so bad that it's funny, I'm not gonna shit on anyone who likes this film more seriously. (Also, I'm gonna shit on the outfits a lot, so sorry if that comes off as unintentionally racist. I am white and stupid.)

However, other than that... What the shit??? Was that??? I'm still reeling 48 hours later.

The basic plot of this wild ass movie (that I could figure out): Gorilla Grodd has built a time machine so he can go back in time and rule over Feudal Japan and change history (it never really specifies why he chose Japan of all places but go off, DC). He brings Deathstroke (my fav obviously), The Penguin, Two-Face, Poison Ivy, and The Joker + Harley Quinn (because if you want your plans to work you should absolutely bring in the disaster piece of shit that is The Joker).

Also Catwoman is here but from what I can tell it was accidental on her part/I think she's the one who fucked up the time machine??? Unclear.

So everyone goes to the past, including Batman, Alfred, and all the Robins (Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Damian Wayne as Robin) (none of the girls but let's be honest, I think they dodged a fucking bullet).

Batman ends up behind everyone else during the time traveling??? Not really explained, but now everyone has been in Japan for two years and Catwoman has depression.

Okay onto me rambling:

They have this scene where every villain gets a title card/one-liner, and everyone else but Deathstroke gets a line that fits their shtick. I feel like they had no idea what to do for a pun/joke, so there's just a literal pause then "... Yeah :)" from Deathstroke. I straight up scream-laughed so fucking hard.

All the Robins look so fucking stupid except for Tim. Nightwing looks like Goku, Red Hood has the tallest bucket on his head I've ever seen, and Damian's hair... good fucking lord.

Also, Damian is completely out of character. The people making this movie, I think, have never read a comic with Damian, and just made him into "annoyingly happy child character that is annoying as all fuck and talks to animals for no reason except Baby" and let me tell you, I got such whiplash from seeing that. Also Damian and Red Hood are apparently voiced by the same guy and my buddy Jason is freaking out about it lmao.

Joker's fucking UGLY next question.

Harley sounds low-key annoying in this film but that might just be me... feels like a lot of people who try to voice her make their voices as high-pitched as possible and it's very grating after awhile.

There's an amnesia plot??? Where Harley and Joker get amnesia after a boat fire??? Red Hood beats the fuck out of them and while I feel bad for Harley, fuck Joker, he can die. They get their memories back by seeing a plant... that looks like Joker's face... as my boy Deathstroke would say: "... Yeah."

There's a clan of Batman ninjas from the past and, tbh, they look pretty fucking cool and I thought they were a really neat concept. Doesn't excuse the bat ghost thing.

OH GOD THE ENDING FIGHT

Through a series of unfortunate events, Gorilla Grodd and all the other villains start fighting each other in giant mechas in order to decide who will rule Japan because of course they do.

My favorite parts from the villain fights:

Two-Face's robot is the shit of nightmares. At one point Deathstroke and Grodd are going at it, Two-Face gets between them, then FLIPS A COIN FOR WHO HE'LL BEAT ON (very in-character I guess but I was still screeching). Btw, he chooses to attack Grodd, and Slade just stands back like "... Yeah :)"

Can you tell that I'm not over that stupid line yet?

PENGUIN HAS SEMI-SENTIENT PENGUINS WORKING ON THE INSIDE OF HIS ROBOT WTF!?!? WHERE DID HE GET THEM!?

Poison Ivy is beautiful, next question.

Okay, back to everything in general:

Grodd reveals that he has been low-key mind controlling all of the other villains this entire time, and that he's the one who made everyone build giant robots. He attempts to take full control of everyone, but Joker does instead. This is maybe the most sane part of this entire goddamn movie.

ALL OF THE ROBOTS MORE OR LESS FORM VOLTRON, LADS!!!

So now our heroes (Batman, the Batsquad, and the Batclan) need to take on this giant robot... so what's a boy to do? Well, if you're Damian Wayne in this movie, you get a magic flute from Grodd after he nearly dies for you, and with the help of your baby monkey friend, summon an army of millions of monkeys that form a giant monkey.

This is a Batman movie. Just thought I'd remind y'all of that.

At first it doesn't work, but don't worry! Another monkey (wearing a pink bow to remind us that she's a girl and the other monkey's love interest) comes and helps Damian play the flute better so the monkeys are better.

Monkeys still aren't enough, so with the power of bats and probably a lot of weed being smoked, the bats that came out of literally nowhere form a giant Batman to punch Voltron.

(Side note: they destroy the arm that Deathstroke was controlling so I don't know why he isn't dead. Never explained. He isn't even really hurt!!!)

The Robins enter Voltron to fight the villains because Joker loses control of everyone: Nightwing vs Penguin, Red Hood vs Deathstroke, and I forget the other match-ups, but nothing matters except that Red Hood walking up to Deathstroke and saying "Tell you what... I'll let you take the first shot" was badass and the best part of the movie.

Too bad we didn't get full fights scenes between everyone 🙃

Batman nearly died??? But lived??? I was so lost at this point and probably should've been paying better attention, but I was too busy trying to convince myself this wasn't a fever dream.

They got back to the present and everyone lived happily ever after, the end :)

Notes: I'm sure I missed some shit but Jesus fucking Christmas, it was a wild ride from start to finish. It was, like, not that great storytelling wise, but it was so bad it was funny??? It was the "The Room" of Animated Batman films.

Batman is a fucking HIMBO in this movie. I dunno how to exactly explain it, but he makes so many stupid ass decisions throughout the movie, it's so funny. When he's trying to blend in with the townsfolk HE LITERALLY CUTS HIS HAIR TO HAVE THE BATSYMBOL ON THE TOP OF HIS FUCKING HEAD!!! WHO APPROVED THIS MOVIE!?!?

I have decided that Deathstroke didn't die because trans rights. Is he canon trans? Well, he is in my heart.

Jason Todd's voice actor did a great job with him, tbh I wish he had been more prominent in the movie.

I literally forgot Tim and Dick were there most of the time they were so unneeded in the plot.

I hated Damian but whatever.

I honestly did enjoy the movie, but probably not for the reasons the creators wanted me to. Again, nothing against the creators, but this was such an odd movie for 90% of it's run time.

7/10 would watch again, if only because it was so funny and nonsensical.

Ratings all together:

Animation: 10/10

Voice Acting: 7/10

Story (If taken seriously): 2/10

Story (if not serious): 8/10

All together; watch this if you're a Batman fan that feels like having a hilarious time and doesn't mind seeing your favorite characters be OOC or doing weird shit. I feel like this movie is best enjoyed on call/while hanging out with friends.

#dcu #dc #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #damian wayne #tim drake #timothy drake #deathstroke #poison ivy #the penguin #the joker #joker #harley quinn #for jason #supercasey ramblings #thinking of doing a series of me reviewing/talking about batman movies and shows #but I dunno yet

[conscience-killer]

15 Questions

Rules: 15 questions, 15 followers                                                        

Tagged by @theunrealinsomniac fanx pal! <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

Uhh, some Arthurian wench idek. I was almost named Rhiannon after the Fleetwood Mac song; I can’t decide whether I dodged a bullet there or whether any fucking name is better than my dull-ass shit lmao.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I’m not much of a crier BUT on Weds I wept like a little girl at Mac Finds His Pride. Unexpected is an understatement. I was also almost moved to tears at Bohemian Rhapsody last night. Queen was my goddamn childhood and it was just fucking sublime and I enjoyed every minute of it, even that entire last hour when I was dying for a piss. 

3. Do you have kids?

Ick.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Uhh, hair probs. Also noses. I have a severe fetish for a good nose. Reece Shearsmith is a superb example of one of the finest noses ever graced upon a person.

6. What’s your eye colour?

Grey with a sectoral heterochromia in the right. (It’s literally just a brown streak but it’s got a fancy name and I like saying it.) Here it is anyway, all together now: “Ooooh, aaaah.”

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

8. Any special talents?

I can fit my entire fist in my mouth (tho legit that’s not massively impressive when you take into account my tiny hobbit hands). I also have double-jointed thumbs. I also used to be able to do a mean Cartman, but I’ve tried recently and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost it. Waah.

9. Where were you born?

Chesterfield, UK.

10. What are your hobbies?

Writing and making le gifs and spending way too much time gaming.

11. Have you any pets?

Willow AKA The Beast, and Leela the world-weary tortoise. (Poor bastard’s table is all covered in mesh now because the aforementioned Beast wouldn’t leave her alone.)

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

Uhhh.

13. How tall are you?

5′5

14. Favourite subject in school?

English.

15. Dream job?

I’d give my left tit to write professionally. Of course I’d actually have to come up with an idea first but yeah lmao. Microbiology always looked pretty interesting; if I’d had a clue at school what I actually wanted to do with my life I might have worked towards it. Sigh @ hindsight.

tagging if they fancy it!: @riddlelvr, @woollenpharaohs, @bosswaldcobblepot, @jeffreycombs, @nookienostradamus, @memory-vacant, @kipsiih, @alvinmurphy (8 is gonna have to do lmao)

#personal

[marinsawakening]

2 3 4 and 7 for ur meme >:3 let the salt come forth

2: Most amatonormative ship?

UHHHHH of all time??? or just in FMA??? oh shit should’ve probably thought this one through before making the ask meme lmao

okay so I’ll do in FMA first because it’s the easiest and uh. that’d be alm/ei. there’s literally no reason for either al or mei to have a love interest, its clearly used as a gag in canon, it was pretty much 100% onesided in canon, but for some godforsaken reason the fandom just?? loves it???? and considers it canon that they’d get married later in life?????? I mean I’m not gonna say that Arakawa wouldn’t agree with that but. she and everyone else is would be wrong. Al is aro and Mei is lithro and they try a relationship post canon but it doesn’t work out bc they’re arospec babe so they decide to be good friends instead and its a relief for everyone involved and that’s the truth.

Of all time…. that’s tough. I’m gonna go with Ca/leo (calypso/leo from the heroes of olympus franchise) even though I’m sure there’s worse things out there because I remember being FUCKED UP MAD when good ol’ uncle rick decided to pair off literally the only character from the original series that didn’t get a love interest because that was LITERALLY HER ENTIRE POINT and then decided to pair of leo because amatonormativity I guess AND THEN decided that they wouldn’t actually work as a couple so he just fucking. changed calypso’s entire personality. and I don’t mind that change much bc I like her better in HOO but YOU CAN’T JUST CHANGE CHARACTERS YOUR NOT HAPPY WITH RICK ESPECIALLY NOT FOR A ROMANCE THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS. anyway im still salty about HOO can you tell.

3. Most amatonormative ship fic trope?

*slams my fist on table* HANAHAKI DISEASE. yes I know that the aro community as a whole is really Done with soulmates and I totally understand and respect that (even if my own feelings are a lot more complicated) bc they’re amatonormative as heckie and much more widespread but like. the entire concept of hanahaki disease is ‘if someone doesn’t love you back you will get TERMINALLY ILL” and I mean??? who the fuck???? thought this was cute????? seriously what the fuck.

4. What popular ship has the least chemistry?

Well I already used alm/ei so and I’m disqualifying ro/yed on grounds of wanting to make this fun so…. pissing people off lets go with edw/in. it sucks. its bad for winry’s character development and completely superfluous to the story. we gain absolutely nothing by having ed and winry be romantically involved. they work way better and are way cuter as friends, and we would lose no story beats whatsoever except for the proposal at the end which was awkward as fuck in my opinion. like if your ship contains canon dialogue like “were his shoulders always so broad” (or something either way it was winry busing about Ed’s shoulders which…. is that a thing? that I missed?) and “wait at home and bake me an apple pie” (again, something among those lines), that’s…. not great chemistry. sorry you guys i just don’t see it. 

7. Which ship discourse is the funniest?

*pulls out my time in the VLD fandom* LET ME TELL YOU A THING

(under the cut because this shit is too fucking long)

okay so for the most part the VLD fandom wasn’t actually…. that bad. I mean it was childish and volatile as fuck and everyone was really hostile to each other don’t get me wrong, but honestly, it’s not the worst fandom experience I’ve ever had, and once I managed to carve out a little niche for myself it was pretty enjoyable (also a lot of the fans were autistic which. neat). 

but there was one event in that fandom that just fucking. killed me. and I’m still not over it. 

so once every three months or so (on average, sometimes it’d happen multiple times a month and sometimes it’d say quiet for months on end) we had some Major Bullshit happen that got on top of the regular ship wars. sometimes it was something a cast member (Pidge’s voice actress, usually) had said or reblogged, sometimes it was new age ‘confirmation’ that just added wood to the fire of the regular discourse, sometimes it was a new Hot Take™ on the show that everyone loved for a while until someone inevitably pointed out that it was ooc/problematic/etc. and then everyone hated it, etc. etc. pretty standard volatile fandom stuff, all things considered, with the vast majority of the discourse having valid points but being taken way out of proportion because of the sheer size of the fandom.

the shaladin discourse is definitely a good example of that. the main point of the anti side in that discourse is ‘hey don’t ship shiro with the other paladins he is an adult and they are teenagers’ and the point of the anti anti side is ‘don’t tell me what to do you pearl clutching purists’ which. i mean im clearly biased here. but the discourse was blown so far out of proportion, primarily because, again, this fandom is too fucking big, but also because a lot of people involved in the discourse were kids themselves. you basically had a bunch of 14/15-year-olds who by and large haven’t quite mastered critical thinking yet yelling at each other in debates that got very emotional very easily. (not saying this to be condescending, lord knows we should all be happy that I wasn’t into fandom when I was fifteen or I would’ve 100% been the person going ‘well actually it’s called ephebophilia get your terms right’ so we all dodged a bullet there. but im just saying that, historically, young teenagers don’t have the best trackrecord for rational, calm discussions, and it really showed.)

so, why am I taking the time to tell you all of this? so that you have proper context to how stupidly ridiculous this discourse was on a regular basis. many (most) of the people in this fandom seemed to totally forget that, while telling people not to ship pedophilia or stuff like that is generally pretty important, it’s ultimately still fandom bullshit and doesn’t really, actually matter that much in the grand scheme of things. it very quickly became a very strong ‘us vs. them’ mentality on both sides that resulted in actually pretty seriously toxic behaviour like death threats (although the anti side definitely had more of a tendency to go witch hunting after people, shaladins were absolutely not exempt from Bullshit, as you’ll see below). like i shit you not we were all genuinely waiting for the time someone would get stabbed irl over it or something, it was so tense.

and at some point, at what I consider the height of this stupid discourse, came Operation Shalanonymous.

I might be getting the name wrong, but they genuinely called it something like that, with a serious graphic behind it. I shit you not. This whole thing was so, so surreal.

Operation Shalanonymous was literally a spyop. A 15-year-old shaladin (and maybe some others, I don’t remember) who at the time went by the url ‘theblackguardianofsheith’ or something similar (they deleted, to my knowledge, and I hope they’re living their best life) pretended to be an anti and went ‘undercover’ in an anti discord server, with the purpose of ‘exposing’ the antis for what they really were. they gathered a bunch of screenshots and such, and then released them all as ‘damning evidence’ onto Tumblr, claiming that they showed evidence of sexual harrassment and hypocrisy, among other things. 

I can’t remember all of the accusations, but some were pretty serious, so I took the time to go through the screenshots and found… very little. there were some distasteful remarks here and there in the form of ‘i wanna kill [insert shaladin]’ that the mods shouldn’t have let slide, and a childish, kinda sexualizing derogatory nickname for the shaladin in question in the form of ‘hunty’, but those two things were really the worst of it. yes, this behaviour was bad and the mods shouldn’t have let it slide or participated in it, but all in all? not worth an entire spyop. if anything, what I found much more damning was that the shaladin (who, as a reminder, was 15 as well) had written a couple of little notes on the screenshots drawing attention to some particular messages of a then 13-year-old anti who said they had a crush on shiro. the notes themselves would’ve been nothing more than childish IF that same 13-year-old hadn’t just come out of a massive dogpiling attack where they were repeatedly misgendered and accused of wanting to have sex with adults themself despite them being a csa survivor. so attempting to throw back to that discourse to ‘prove’ some kind of hypocrisy was distasteful at best and honestly, it did not make them look very good.

so yeah. as you can imagine, the discord members and mods took that very well, and just. for a while, Operation Shalanonymous was this actual Thing, where shaladins were crying that the antis were finally exposed and the antis were accusing the spying shaladin of sending graphic rape porn into the chat to shock users, which the 15-year-old shaladin refuted by saying that they were attempting to get them to do something about it (apparently they were trying to get it taken down or something, but I genuinely have no clue why they thought the antis could help with that, but then again, this whole situation was so far-fetched and there was little evidence provided that this was actually ‘graphic rape porn meant to scar csa survivors’, like the antis claimed either, so like. i don’t fucking know), and accusations went back and forth for a while. it was a mess.

and this, this right fucking here, is hands down the most childish, most distasteful, most useless ship discourse that I’ve ever encountered. not only did someone actually take the time and energy to pretend to be an anti for quite some time in order to ‘spy’ on antis, they also decided to, in all seriousness, release the screenshots under the actual fucking name ‘Operation Shalanonymous’, dropping them like they were the fucking panema papers. like guys??? you know this is the fucking voltron fandom, not goddamn wikileaks, right???? these are not state secrets you’re releasing. they’re screenshots from a fandom chat. it. doesn’t. matter. that. much.

there were some genuinely horrifying things that went down during this whole debacle, and I probably shouldn’t find it as funny as I do, since this really was a prime example of how toxic people can get when they think they’re in the right, especially when the person in question is a teenager (who, again, don’t have the best track record for emotional regulation and foresight). but I just fucking can’t take this shit serious. you gotta remember that a 15-year-old was mostly heading this thing, and it really shows; the whole entire set-up and pay-off was just overwhelmingly childish, and it makes me so, so glad that I wasn’t into fandom at that age, because who knows what shit I would’ve pulled. and I just can’t stop imagining what everyone involved will think of this shit when they’re in their twenties or thirties. because god. ship discourse does not matter this much, guys. it really, really doesn’t, and this whole debacle was nothing but an embarrassment for everyone involved. 

so anyway that was hands down the most ridiculous ship discourse I’ve ever witnessed, thanks for coming to my history lesson.

#Anonymous #aro stuff #diskhorse #i see i have some other asks in my askbox as well and i'll answer those tomorrow its too goddamn late here #my posts

[pinkletterday]

Legends 4x3

Okay so after the fucking Flash kicked my heart in the nuts and left me to die last week, my soul needs an ice pack to numb the pain. Not in the mood for bullshit, folks.

I mean in no mood for wank. This show is some top-shelf bullshit.

Already bracing for Americans trying to speak English. I'm not excusing any of the British Empire's atrocities but every time an American tries to imitate an English accent, I feel kinda sorry for them.

What the fuck is that voice. DOLORES UMBRIDGE IS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Ah, the Crown Jewels. Or as we of the former Raj like to call them, Loot.

...

...I see they've started pumping the Beebo-grade crack through the writer's room air vents early this season.

I have no love for the House of Windsor but the Dolores Umbridge shaking her bum at me is giving me conflicting feelings.

Guys. You are way overestimating the importance of the monarchy on UK politics. For one, Scotland and Ireland have been trying to get rid of that dog leash for years, it would stopper the largest welfare drain on the British tax payers and force them to find a better tourist attraction than a houseful of barmy inbreds who get paid to wave at idiots.

It is possible I have some feelings about the British Monarchy. I'm sorry, Americans. I understand you sacrificed one of your own to them recently.

Nate and Ray watch Patrick Swayze movies together. Good to know good to know.

So Zari's sacred totem is now a sacred FitBit? Eh, why not.

RED ALERT SARA LANCE IS IN A TANK TOP WOMAN ALL STATIONS!!

I don't understand why these are supposed to be bad guys. LEAVE THE SMELL ALONE.

Gerard Way is evil?

Jesus fuck how does Caity Lotz work the Roxette hair so damn well???

Oh don't look like that Sara. "So the Legends walk into a bar" is now a historical punchline. Let the one who cast the first beer bottle stand in judgement - no wait that was you.

Lolololol work it Ray work it! Brandon Routh is the most adorable comedy gold mine.

Goddamn I did not know there would be this much UST between Mick and John Con.

You know it's bad when MICK RORY is concerned for the team's survival.

Gary stop being so embarrassingly heterosexual.

Blawks. Blawks.

BLAWKS.

OKAY MY EMBARRASSMENT SYMPATHY SQUICK CAN'T TAKE THIS I'M MUTING TILL ITS OVER.

Look so far I am 100% behind the punks. Not only are they gorgeous and revolutionary and anti-kyriarchy, that Indian girl can also get it anytime anywhere arré shawash meri jaan ok this devolved somewhat.

You want people to Rage Against The Corgis?

RAY STOP TRYING TO TALK BRITISH MY EARS TRY TO CRAWL BACK INSIDE MY SKULL EVERY TIME YOU DO.

"The pooch seems to have fallen in with a bad crowd" Loooool

YO NO HEALTH AND HYGIENE IS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT TO THE PUNK MOVEMENT. DISCO IS NOT THE ONLY ONE PRO-STAYING ALIVE. THERE IS NO GLORY IN SEPSIS.

Mate, it's Liverpool. We could drop you in 1423 and you'd still somehow find Liverpool like due fucking North.

Is he hitting on Dr. Who's next companion?

!!!!! MUM!!!!!!

Yes Zari we all have regrets now.

I don't care about Nate and Amaya I need more Constangreen deets!

But oh way to twist that knife dude, damn Gary.

I see the CGI department are going to town with the extra two dollars in their budget.

"DECLAN IS CUTE" RAY PALMER IS OFFICIALLY QUEER THIS IS CANON NOT A DRILL ALL SHIPS ARE GO

Corgi mohawk. Of course it is. OF COURSE.

There's a FAILSAFE? Does Barry Allen know?

So I guess the grandfather paradox is officially off the table? No?

Ok but what if you kicked a bucket out under a ladder or something that would precipitate a chain reaction that killed one of your ancestors? Would you still find yourself flat on your back in an unfun way, no buckets harmed?

I will say, as far as self-loathing goes, that's a pretty inventive way of committing suicide. But then who among us has not wanted to punch our Dads in the nuts so hard we would never be born? Show of hands!

Okay then. I guess its just me and you, Constantine. Awks.

Your past is coming for you? It would have to catch up to your lungs, your liver and Mick Rory, mate.

RETURN OF THE DISCO OUTFITS I AM SCREAMING YESSSSSS LORDDDD

Okay! Listen, Disco was a black music movement that was an expression of African rebellion against capitalism and white supremacy until it was demonized and then co-opted by white people like everything fucking else black people has ever come up with including yeeting. Why do you white punks think you're better than them?

I never associate Abba with Disco, despite all the sequins. Now Boney M. Donna Summer. Bee Gees. Fucking Prince. I love Abba man, but they don't rate within the genre.

Not being Irish isn't a past, bruv. It's a lack of one. A literal dodged bullet in the 1970s. Fuck off.

Oh my Lord stay forever my beautiful Brown Girl In The Ring.

I love Maisie but this South Asian representation is giving me feelings. I'm going to show up for every kind of diversity but I miss seeing my own people on my screen so much, y'all.

LOL mixtapes.

I hadn't realized Ray and Amaya were close at all. Did they ever have a partnered episode?

I thought the team's moral compass was Ray.

This whole "having to go hard to feel my own shape" thing is seriously relatable to my neurodivergent ass.

"Squad save the queen" Sara you aren't even trying.

I think there is some truth to the discontent rising from the Avalance faction that Sara is somewhat lacking in weight and complexity thus far. Give my captain her due, writers.

Oh woooow Ray Palmer is showing some TEETH.

To be fair, I too get that excited about lunch.

Gar-bear. *pained look*

Of course the one plant Gary managed to pick up would turn out to be friggin' Audrey II.

Nate in hot pursuit after a rogue potted plant, livin' his best life.

Aw man. Bad bitch!Ray was actually Charlie. That makes sense, I guess. *grumbles*

MAISIE!!! WITH HER REAL HAIR AND ACCENT!!! HI MAISIE WE MISSED YOU!

Sigh. Goodbye beautiful brown goddess. I hope you come back.

Lmaoooo Ray what the fuck is that face??

Lmao I love how the rest of the office is just clacking away peacefully in the background. Bust up with a man-eating Venus Sandwich-Trap in cubicle 17? Okay well, send a memo to HR.

Aww Nate. Oh no. You poor sod.

Hey Sara you wanna give a guy a heads-up on something that is very definitely gonna end up in a colossal heartbroken clusterfuck? No? Okay.

Ah finally. Some lesbian nookie...that is off-screen.

Ava: "how do you herd cats?"

Sara: "you don't."

And we’re done. An uneven episode and a distinct lack of Gerard Way or actual Disco but it got the job done!

#legends of tomorrow spoilers #legends of tomorrow #liveblog

[makeste]

KHR 071: Miniboss Fight Bingo (Part 1)

Okay, get ready, everyone, because this chapter has (part one of) Tsuna VS Lancia, which in hindsight is such an outrageously cliched shounen fight that after rereading it, I went ahead and made this:

Let’s see how long it takes us to win this thing.

So! Last time we left off, Yamamoto was facing off with Lancia while Tsuna was running aimlessly through the woods thinking about how that mysterious evil kid from the forest was acting really mysterious and evil.

However, Tsuna recalls that Fuuta was also acting weird, which goes a long way towards his excusing Mukuro’s strange behavior. But then I think to myself: “So if he thought that ~MYSTERIOUS KID~ really was innocent and was just being manipulated or something, WHY DID HE LEAVE HIM ALL ALONE IN THE WOODS AGAIN.” And the answer is… …. ……………………… um

It actually was kind of funny though, in hindsight.

Back to the fight! Yamamoto got hit by Lancia’s ball and chain and is now lying on the ground emitting smoke for some reason!

WHY THOUGH

Then there’s another panel of Gokudera being so worried about Yamamoto! Intellectually, I know that Gokudera having feelings of empathy doesn’t automatically equate to them being soulmates or anything! But emotionally I don’t even care, I am already on board this ship and it sailed ten fucking years ago and I don’t know where I am anymore! So you’ll just have to live with me enjoying my 8059 angst!

TWO EXCLAMATION POINTS MOTHERFUCKER

All right, and here we go. Brace yourselves and get those cards out, because Lancia is about to start monologuing.

Wow guy could you just cool it there for a sec

Can we count this as “it’s no use”? Eh, for the time being I’m going to play things straight. So no score as of yet, but we’re only just getting started.

So upon hearing this, Gokudera tries to stand up EVEN THOUGH HE’S DYING because HE IS HEROIC AND BRAVE

“Trying to stand up and failing” is pretty much all he manages to do for this entire chapter, so I have to give him whatever props I can while the giving is good.

BUT WAIT, WHAT’S THIS

LANCIA: ABANDON ALL HOPE

YAMAMOTO TAKESHI: (୨୧ ❛ᴗ❛)✧

THIS CHEEKY MOTHERFUCKER. I NEED AN MP3 RECORDING OF YAMAMOTO SAYING “OI OI” TO SET AS MY DAMN RINGTONE

LOOK AT GOKUDERA’S “HE’S ALIVE” FACE

I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO INTERPRET THAT FACE BUT IT’S GREAT

Also nice to see that Bianchi has finally set aside her own differences with Yamamoto! Things were a little dicey there for a while.

Not to spoil things here, but my guess: It’s probably something really stupid that makes absolutely no sense.

Lancia continues to monologue at them all like some sort of Sith Lord, and throws his giant ball at Yamamoto again.

Incredibly, I didn’t have “it is foolish to resist” on my card either. Lancia is so cliché that I couldn’t fit all of his damn clichés on a 5x5 card, goddamn.

Anyway! Yamamoto, who you have to remember at this point has no kind of formal sword training—or any sort of fighting training, really—whatsoever, then instinctively goes right into one of the Shigure Souen Ryu defensive forms, only using the dirt and his bat rather than water and Shigure Kintoki.

Can we give this boy some fucking props because damn. Seriously, though, this is Surging Rain. Completely untaught. This kid is a fucking legend.

So he uses the dirt he just swept up to track the ball’s rotation. It doesn’t make much sense but it seems to work within the context of the series so let’s just roll with it.

WHY IS HE SO CUTE!!!

Reborn then explains that Lancia’s ball and chain weapon works via the power of bullshit.

Look, I’m not a physicist or anything, I’m just your everyday layperson reading a shounen manga who is nonetheless telling you this is bullshit. If you go over to NASA and ask them if you can create a tornado using a grooved wrecking ball, they are going to say no, once they stop laughing long enough to speak.

But then again, a girl was microwaving things with her clarinet two chapters ago, and another girl turned that clarinet into toxic food sludge simply by touching it, so I’m not sure what it is I’m actually complaining about. I guess it’s that they tried to fudge a scientific explanation when they could have just said “magic” and it basically would have amounted to the same thing lol.

I’LL STOP RANTING ABOUT THIS NOW.

So Lancia doesn’t give a fuck if they’ve “figured it out” or not, and goes on the attack again. Yamamoto charges in, thinking he can avoid it now, and oh no

—THERE IT IS!!!! FUCK YEAH

SWEET, WE’RE OFFICIALLY ON THE BOARD 

Okay, I just want to press pause here for a sec and acknowledge that Lancia threw this thing at Takeshi again, Takeshi dodged it, and then the thing just magically changed direction and started going the complete opposite way, at the same time creating this fucking whirlwind somehow, that FUCKING LIFTS YAMAMOTO UP IN THE AIR. Like, this is a really entertaining fight, but it’s also just. SO ABSURD. NOTHING ABOUT IT MAKES ANY SENSE.

ANYWAY THIS THING’S ABOUT TO HIT HIM LIKE A WALL SO BRACE YOURSELVES

Oh my god right in the babymaker

AND YOU’VE UPSET THE BOYFRIEND AGAIN

1. You bitch, and 2. We know you’ve already said that, please say something new so I can update my bingo card again please and thank you.

YEEEESSSSSSSS [FISTPUMP]

Gokudera is all like “DAMN YOU” and trying to stand up to protect Yamamoto but then he falls down again because of his plot ailment!

NO MY SONS, ALSO, I’M LOVING IT THOUGH

BIANCHI GOES FULL GANDALF AND IT’S AMAZING!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHH

AND THEN LANCIA DELIVERS THE CLASSIC “ONLY USING X PERCENT OF MY STRENGTH” LINE, AND WE’RE ON FUCKING FIRE NOW WITH THIS BINGO SHIT

WHAT A SHOWDOWN

Time for Tsuna to finally blunder in just in the nick of time!

“WHERE IS EVERYONE—HOLY FUCK”

But then he sees that all his friends are either dead or dying and Bianchi is all on her own (REBORN WHO?!) protecting Yamamoto because she’s a goddamn hero!

And then Tsuna’s face does this.

LOOK AT THAT INSTANT 180 IN DEMEANOR. HE’S JUST ONE OR TWO RAGES SHORT OF JUMPING STRAIGHT INTO DYING WILL MODE RIGHT THERE ON THE FUCKING SPOT

Tsuna I love you so much and I want to write another rant about you becoming a different person all of a sudden when your friends’ welfare is at stake, but I think I’ve made my point on that already in past recaps lmao

Still, this is great.

Then a split second later he realizes what he’s actually done, and

SOB

Tsuna has no idea what to do. Until Lancia turns back to Bianchi and says he’ll just kill her first. 

Then Tsuna knows what to do.

REBORN SHOOTS THE DYING WILL BULLET, BUT ALSO MAKES THE MISTAKE OF SAYING OUT LOUD THAT IT’S THE LAST ONE THEY HAVE. THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER PROBABLY

ANYWAY

He actually moved to catch it before the bullet fully took effect. I choose to believe he was already in motion when Reborn shot him, because even if he hadn’t been in Dying Will mode he was still going to catch that thing one way or the other.

AH THE NOSTALGIA

Tsuna is SO ANGRY he SWITCHES TO A DIFFERENT FUCKING FONT TO SHOW HOW ANGRY HE IS

Reborn again says out loud that THIS IS OUR FINAL TRUMP CARD!! JUST FOR ANYONE WHO MIGHT SECRETLY BE LISTENING! NOW YOU KNOW! AFTER THIS WE HAVE NOTHING LEFT!!!!

Come to think of it, wasn’t there some guy in the very last chapter who said he was going to watch and wait for the Arcobaleno to show his hand first?

Uh oh

You were fucking timing him, Chikusa?

Yeah it is the last one. Yeah they have completely fallen into it.

HOW MANY FUCKING STEPS ARE THERE

Back to Tsuna!

This one’s not on the card either, but least they got him to say something other than “THE END IS NIGH REPENT YOUR SINS HEAR ME AND REJOICE YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE AT THE HANDS OF THE CHILDREN OF THANOS”

Lancia sticks to his one trick, unaware that Tsuna is the main character and this shit’s not going to work this time.

I LOVE THIS PANEL. THE BLURRY MOTION LINES ON TSUNA’S ARM. LANCIA’S HEAD TILTING BACK. THE RAW “OOOOMPHH” IN THIS MAGNIFICENT UPPERCUT. This was back in the days before we had fancy schmancy X-Burners and the like! Back in the days when problems were solved WITH OUR FISTS. LIKE MEN!!!

Bianchi and Reborn watch like proud parents from the sidelines.

Lancia does a backflip for no reason and then Kamehamehas the ground!

Tsuna catches the ball and chain again because NEWS FLASH LANCIA YOU CAN’T BEAT HIM LIKE THIS

And then to add insult and injury, Tsuna Kamehamehas that shit RIGHT BACK AT HIM

oof

Without checking to make sure Lancia is actually dead, Bianchi and Reborn start patting themselves on the back and making celebratory dinner plans.

Mukuro and Chikusa watch from the window. Mukuro admits he’s surprised, but…

Holy shit. You know what that means, kids. SAY IT, LANCIA. SAY IT YOU COWARD!!!!

MOTHERFUCKER HE REALLY SAID IT!!!

Hot damn. 

And that’s where the chapter ends! It feels short, but it was actually 23 fucking pages. It’s just that a good deal of those pages were just Lancia’s giant metal snake ball whirling around over and over and over.

NEXT CHAPTER WILL CONCLUDE THIS EPICALLY GENERIC FIGHT. Will we ever get bingo?? STAY TUNED

#khr #katekyo hitman reborn #yay old chapter #I actually have no idea if this is a winning card or not #so your guess is as good as mine #but it FEELS like a winner goddammit #anyways the next chapter is where it really gets going #those reborn heads are about to start piling up

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 71-72

These goddamn chapters are so long I want to d ie

The Queen of the Fae was exactly as Aelin remembered. Swirling dark robes, a beautiful pale face beneath onyx hair, red lips set in a faint smile

Of course Maeve is also drop dead gorgeous. Somebody gotta put a cap on the amount of beauty in SJM’s novels, it’s becoming too much.

With [Maeve’s] attention elsewhere, Lorcan took up a place at Aelin’s side—as if they were somehow allies in this, would fight back-to-back. Aelin didn’t bother to say anything to him.

I mean, Lorcan being on your side gives you a much better chance of rescuing Elide, but sure Alien, be like that.

That ripple of Lorcan’s power the day Ansel’s fleet had closed in … [Aelin]’d known it was a summoning. The same way she’d summoned the Valg to Skull’s Bay. She’d refused to immediately explain Ansel’s presence, wanting to enjoy the surprise of it, and he had summoned Maeve’s armada to take on what he’d believed to be an enemy fleet. To save Elide.

This seems kinda weird to me? Elide has stated to Lorcan numerous times that she’s on Alien’s side, so wouldn’t Maeve consider her a threat and an enemy? Why would Lorcan summon her to save Elide, then? But whatever, the less time we dwell on shitty writing, the quicker we get this shitshow over with.

Elide was trembling; every bone, every pore was trembling

Every pore??? Lmfao is SJM just giving up at this point?? She can’t shoehorn in sexual references when her protag is confronting the villain so she wants to just get it over with.

Lorcan betrays them and Alien is shocked, but like... why are y’all surprised Lorcan was literally only with you guys for Elide, he has no reason to like anyone else in Alien’s group of jackasses.

Flame danced at Aelin’s fingertips. No. Her magic had been emptied, still hovered near burnout.

Maeve kick her ass please I am begging you, wipe the fucking floor with her

Maeve returned Aelin’s smile. “(...)Of course, the fools didn’t realize that when you had drained yourself on their armies, I’d be waiting. You were already exhausted after putting out the fires I had my armada ignite to tire you on Eyllwe’s coast. It was a convenience that Lorcan gave your precise location and saved me the energy of tracking you down myself.” A trap. An enormous, wicked trap. To drain Aelin’s power over days— weeks.

Alien’s tiny mind is fucking blown by this but no fucking shit!!! You’re a dumbass who thinks wasting her magic on shooting fireworks out of her ass is a good idea, of course someone would notice and take advantage of you!! Does Alien even have a goddamn brain???

“The armada was a precaution. Just in case the ilken didn’t arrive for you to wholly drain yourself … I figured a few hundred ships would make for good kindling until I was ready.” To sacrifice [Maeve’s] own fleet—or part of it—to gain one prize … This was madness. The queen was utterly insane.

I mean. Maeve is an evil bloodthirsty monster, but she’s way smarter than any of these dumbasses. Honestly, I’m starting to root for her. She figured out her enemy’s weakness and used it against them, which is more brain power than Alien is capable of.

Flame slammed outward, red and golden—just as a wall of darkness lashed for Aelin. The impact shook the world. Even Manon was thrown on her ass.

Love how SJM tries to make this showdown all ~epic and uhmayzing~ but then throws in Manon falling flat on her ass. The rivalry between Maeve and Alien is barely developed so I’m hardly excited for Maeve to kick Alien’s ass. Makes me wish I could be reading Death Note instead, now there’s a good power play between rival characters.

Lorcan grabs Elide while Maeve and Alien duke it out and he tries to get her to run.

[Elide] would not. She’d sooner die than flee like a coward, not when Aelin was going to the mat for all of them, when—

Going to the mat? Wtf??? Yes I know it’s an expression of struggling/fighting until defeated or victorious, but this completely threw me out of the story when I read it. This is a (supposedly) medieval setting, and this saying just seems out of place in this setting.

A whip of black sliced into Aelin. She went down. And Elide thought the impact of Aelin Galathynius’s knees hitting the sand might have been the most horrible sound she’d ever heard.

Elide was literally enslaved in a tower and abused by her uncle but seeing some stupid queen she barely knows getting the shit kicked out of her is the worst thing she’s ever witnessed. Okay, SJM, okay. Elide deserves so much better than to be reduced to a fangirl to splooge over Alien.

Aelin crawled backward, blood sliding from her right nostril. Dripping on her white shirt.

*clenches fist* fragmentsssssss. A comma or the word and would’ve sufficed better there.

Aelin tried to rise. Tried, but her legs had given out. The Queen of Terrasen panted, fire flickering like dying embers around her.

I’ll admit, I rather like the symbolism of the embers dying out around her, highlighting how she’s utterly failed and gotten her ass whooped. Very nice.

Fenrys and Gav roll up to the party while Maeve continues to beat Alien. I know it’s cruel to say, but I’m rather enjoying Alien getting her arrogant ass whooped after unfairly winning literally every confrontation with no effort in this novel.

But Maeve let the darkness around Aelin part. She was curled on her side, bleeding from both nostrils now, more blood dribbling from her panting mouth.

Considering she’s getting whipped and stabbed by black magic, I think she should be bleeding from actual wounds than having just a nosebleed lmao. Maeve starts grilling Gav.

“Did I or did I not tell you to execute Lorcan on sight?” “There were … circumstances that prevented it from happening. We tried.” “Yet you failed. Am I not supposed to discipline my blood-bonded who fail me?” Gavriel lowered his head. “Of course—we will accept it. And I will also take on the punishment you intended for Aelin Galathynius.”

NOOOOO I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD SJM IF YOU KILL OFF GAV FOR ALIEN TO LIVE I WILL FUCKING FIGHT YOU

So Maeve kicks Gav out of her court and dishonors him, but he lives, thank god. If Gav ends up dying in this series I’m gonna have to have a long angry chat with SJM. Gav basically disappears for the rest of the scene even though he’s right there? Whatever spares him from the agony of this shitty book I guess.

Elide splooges about what a badass assassin Alien was and how she’ll wait for the right moment to strike, before Maeve removes all of Alien’s weapons for that exact reason. My sides hurt from the fucking cackling I did at that. Can’t believe I am about to stan Maeve, but she’s a ruthless, badass, calculating villain who is capable of thinking about things other than sex. Nothing but respect for my evil queen.

“What a powerhouse you two would be—[Aelin] and Prince Rowan. And any offspring of that union …” A vicious smirk. “You and Rowan could rule this continent if you wished. But your children … your children would be powerful enough to rule an empire that could sweep the world.”

Ungh, c’mon Maeve, I know you’re just fucking with Alien, but don’t make me read that garbage. Can’t wait until there’s a sequel series to Thr0ne of glass about Alien’s goblin kids being even more uber powered special snowflakes than their mother. C’mon, you know SJM would.

“It was so easy to tug on the right psychic thread that day Rowan saw Lyria at the market. To shove him down that other path, to trick those instincts. A slight altering of fate.” (...) Maeve said, “So your mate was given to another. And I let him fall in love, let him get her [pregnant]. And then I broke him. No one ever asked how those enemy forces came to pass by his mountain home.”

Great, so Lyria was nothing but a plot point to get Ratlin together now? Fuck off SJM, stop reducing your other characters as nothing but plot points for your precious OTP. Lyria deserved so much better than this.

“[Rowan] took the blood oath without question. And I knew that whenever you were born, whenever you’d come of age … I’d ensure that your paths crossed, and you’d take one look at each other and I’d have you by the throat. Anything I asked for, you’d give to me. Even the keys. For your mate, you could do no less. You almost did that day in Doranelle.”

Lmfao I love how one of the main selling points fans use for this series were “it depicts love accurately, Alien has more than one love interest!1″ and SJM fucking killed any chance of using that as a positive of the series hahahahaha I am actually fucking dying. Chaol, Dorito, and Sam didn’t mean shit because her one true love was Rowboat all long. Couldn’t have written a shittier plot twist if I tried, SJM, hats off to you. That deserves a slow clap.

Maeve ignored [Elide pleading]. “Well? When did you know [Rowan was her mate]?” “At Temis’s temple,” Aelin admitted, glancing to Manon. “The moment the arrow went through his shoulder. Months ago.”

Nothing turns me on more than my abusive boyfriend almost dying by an arrow to the shoulder. I know, I know, the mating bond in AC0TAR is different than the ones in T0G, but still.

Maeve shrugged. “If it’s any consolation, Aelin, you would have had a thousand years with Prince Rowan. Longer.”

Go tf off, Maeve!!!! I’d read an entire book of Maeve just ripping Alien a new one tbh

Turns out Alien is due to Settle in five years or so. What a relief, SJM’s precious Mary Sue won’t ever have to grow, god forbid, old and ugly! Phew, really dodged a bullet there!

Maeve calls out Cairn, the asshole dude Lorcan brought up many chapters prior.

A handsome, brown-haired warrior walked toward them from the cluster of escorts. Handsome, if it weren’t for the sadistic cruelty singing in his blue eyes.

So is he handsome or not, SJM? These two sentences are so contradictory. Maeve gives Alien a choice whether to come willingly or to refuse and let Elide be dragged along. Alien is a selfish shitlord, but she cares about Elide despite barely knowing her, so we all know which she’ll probably choose.

Next chapter, finally, holy shit that one was so long I had to skim most of it.

Aelin’s body hurt. Everything hurt. Her blood, her breath, her bones. There was no magic left. Nothing left to save her.

It’s funny how this is framed as we’re supposed to feel bad for poor Alien but I’m laughing my ass off. Act like a little shit, get hit, Alien.

Aelin simply nodded at the Fae Queen. Her acceptance and surrender.

Surprise, surprise. I’ll at least give Alien a little credit for considering the safety of somebody else besides herself or Rowboat’s Fae peen. Man, the bar is set pretty low, eh?

And because she had won, Maeve even loosened her power’s grip on Aelin’s bones. Allowed Aelin to turn to Elide and say, “Go with Manon. She will take care of you.” Elide began crying, shoving away from Lorcan. “I’ll go with you, I’ll come with you—”

Wtf Elide, no, you’re smarter than this!!!! Alien is sacrificing herself so you can be free, you run and get Alien’s comrades and then you have a chance to free Alien afterwards!! Goddamnit SJM you’re making me repulsed by Elide because all she is now is a tool to fawn over Alien dhfkhfksdh I'm so goddamn mad

Aelin’s soul splintered as she saw the iron box the escorts now carried between them. An ancient, iron coffin. Big enough for one person. Crafted for her.

Oof, so there’s the coffin bit I’ve been hearing about. Can’t really say I’m sorry for Alien. Yeah I know that’s mean, but she’s a massive unlikable selfish asshole who gets everything handed to her without her doing any work, so forgive me for not feeling bad when she finally gets a good deserved kick in the bottom.

“And tell Rowan,” Aelin said, fighting her own sob, “that I’m sorry I lied. But tell him it was all borrowed time anyway. Even before today, I knew it was all just borrowed time, but I still wish we’d had more of it.”

Again, good concept, just wasted on an absolute shit tier ship. Someone write an AU of this but with a good ship, yeah? And, y’know, rewrite most of the plot so it makes sense.

Maeve lowered the mask and drawled to Aelin, “Rumor claims you will bow to no one, Heir of Fire.” That serpentine smile. “Well, now you will bow to me.” She pointed to the sand. Aelin obeyed.

I shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as I am, but ahhh feels so good to read Alien get taken down a peg or two after being so irritatingly arrogant! Feels good, feels organic.

“Take off your shirt.” Aelin tugged her shirt out of her pants and slung it over her head, tossing it in the sand beside her. Then she removed the flexible cloth around her breasts.

So.... a bra, essentially? Is she wearing a bra? Or was SJM unsure of whether or not medieval women wore bras and was like “Ehhhh I’ll describe it as just a cloth, that way nobody can point fingers at me for shitty world building!”

Aelin didn’t fight as [the Fae warriors] each gripped her by an arm and hauled her up. Spread her arms wide. The sea air kissed her breasts, her navel.

Man, given how there’s only a few chapters left, this may be the last unnecessary focus on a female character’s breasts we get in this novel. And it’s right before our main character endures a harsh whipping. Oh SJM, you never disappoint.

Cairn halted. [Aelin] felt him studying the tattoo on her back. Rowan’s loving words, written there in the Old Language. Cairn snorted. Then she felt him revel in how he’d destroy that tattoo.

Evidently, SJM never learned what nuanced characters are. Cairn whips Alien some until Maeve orders them to chuck Alien into the iron coffin. Manon peaces out with Elide, and I hope SJM lets them run away with Abraxos to a better novel.

Time—[Aelin] was grateful Elena had given her that stolen time. Grateful she had met them all, that she had seen some small part of the world, had heard such lovely music, had danced and laughed and known true friendship. Grateful that she had found Rowan. She was grateful.

Another good example of good concept that’s wasted on a shitty character. This should be breaking my heart, but it’s about Alien and I fucking hate Alien more than almost any other fictional character. So alas, I’m left just feeling hallow and tired.

So Aelin Galathynius dried her tears. And did not fight when Maeve strapped that beautiful iron mask over her face.

Seems odd Alien would describe what is essentially an object meant to torture her as beautiful, but alright. We’re almost done folks, buckle up for the final leg of this shitstorm of a journey.

#the worm talks #the worm reads: eos #anti sjm #anti tog #anti eos

[kaiji-chan-blog]

Oumas Mental breakdown (eng subs)

Jes, i used the voice translator for this. Just ignore my random comments xD 

Ouma: "I-i won't..." Shuuichi: "O-ouma-kun?!" Ouma: "HAHAHAHA! YOU REALLY BELIEVED ALL THIS FAKE-CRYING I JUST DID?!" "YOU IDIOTS! I DIDN'T CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT GONTA! WHY WOULD I THO?!" Tsumugi: "Y-you were fake-crying..?" Ouma: "If i would be... how do you say it... honest, Gonta didn't matter to me." (he actually said something about a true thing inside of him, but this makes more sense to me) "He was just a waste of space in this whole game and.. Of course that(the fake-crying) was just a lie to convince you to believe in me!" "You see? Lies are useful!" Kaito: "What are you saying...?" Shuuichi: "So... All that crying he did before Gonta died... Wait Ouma, what is this 'true thing' you're talking about?!" (i guess ouma is talking about the monster inside of him...) "Why did you make Gonta do that?" Ouma: "Of course to make this more interesting." (Ouma you sociopath) Shuuichi: "Huh--!" Ouma: "I used Gonta like a little kid playing with their doll. He was just a tool in this game. I thought i could end it with this, since you wouldn't be able to find the true culprit. Me, the puppeteer, or him, the puppet." (damn ouma) "But well, think about it." "The fact that we worked together to save everyone" "I never betrayed that." Shuuichi: "B-but why did you use Gonta for-" Ouma: "Nishishi~" (Ouma goes insane again wtf) "WHO CARES ABOUT THAT IDIOT?!" (gonta probably lmao) "I SIMPLY WANT TO HAVE FUN PLAYING THIS GAME OF DOUBT, PARANOIA AND SUSPICION!" (he is still taking this as a game... and i think he really has to fight that monster inside of him, he switches so often right now i can't-) Shuuichi(thinking): "While saying that, Ouma laughed with a psychotic smile." "As soon as i saw that smile, one word in the back of my head popped up." "Evil intent." (Ouma never wanted to do anything bad, it's the monster, get your facts straight Shuuichi-) "So he used his innocent body to hide his evil intentions." (GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT SHUUICHI THERE'S A GODDAMN MONSTER INSIDE OF OUMA!) (Lmao, Ouma just read shuuichis thoughts) (Ah, Ouma is going crazy because his plan to save everyone failed and now everyone is putting so much pressure on him, it's hard for him to keep the monster inside... And Ouma saw a video that drove him even more insane... OUMAS SANITY GETS SO DAMAGED IN THIS KILLING GAME I CAN'T-) Ouma: "Hey, i *am* an evil leader, right?" "And since i'm an evil leader, i have to be like that, don't i?" (Omg ouma... der hört sich total an als würde der gerade immens zittern...) "Seeing you all suffer like this, me being an evil leader, my body must be shaking from excitement... But why do i feel none of that?" (I guess he really is shaking as shit...) (and he starts shouting again, monster up) "I JUST LOVE TO SEE PEOPLE SUFFER! DON'T YOU KNOW THERE ARE THIS KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD!?" "Without a big reason, this people, people like me enjoy to see others suffer. AND I JUST WANT TO SEE THIS CRUEL WORLD BURN!" (i'm literally shaking from this translation, i feel so bad for ouma..) Kaito: "Are you serious right now..?" Maki: "So you did this just for your own entertainment? To have your fun?" Ouma: "What's so wrong about that? You kill for money, don't you? I'm not that mean like you, Harumaki-cha-" (rip maki xD) Maki: "I do it for my orphanage, but of course a stupid bastard like you wouldn't understand that. And stop calling me 'Harumaki', that's disgusting coming from you." (AND NOW YOU'RE DEAD MAKI) "Do you wanna get killed?" (LAY ONE HAND ON OUMA AND YOU'RE DEAD!) Ouma: "Nishishi~ Harumaki-chan really does have an angered face~" "But you all believe people way too easily." (i think ouma has trouble trusting people, this just makes me wonder more about his backstory...) "If you look at it from a paranoia standpoint, like me-" (monster takes over) "HAHAHAHHA! THAT MEANS GONTA AND IRUMA DID DIE FOR SOMETHING MEANINGLESS LIKE ME!" (aaaah... Ouma made gonta kill iruma, because he is really scared of dying, so he *had* to make him do it, or the monster inside of him would've done it...) (and dont call yourself meaningless ouma...) Kaito: "What are you saying?!" Shuuichi(thinking): "As Momota said that, he sprinted all the way to Ouma like a bullet." Narrator: *punch sound* Shuuichi(thinking): "A blunt noise echoed through the room." (ah, kaito *wanted* to punch him, but Ouma was faster than him lmao) Ouma: "Oh sorry, i actually wanted to dodge. (ouma wanted to dodge, the monster wanted to hit kaito. Monster won...) But, see what i did instead~" Shuuichi: "Momota-kun!" Kaito: "You bastard..!" Ouma: "And well, just by the way, even though it might just be my imagination, But why did that punch come so slow? You could've easily be faster than me..." Kaito: "Ngh-!" Ouma: "Could it be that Momota-chan is hiding something from me..?" Maki: "MOMOTA! Are you okay?!" Shuuichi(thinking): "Maki stared at Ouma with a sharp glare." Maki: "Didn't you say you're not good at physical activities?.." Ouma: "Haha, you believed that lie~!?" (ouma, stop making fun of Maki, you're getting in danger. Maki deserves it, but she definetly wants to kill you right now) Maki: "Do you want to get killed?!" Ouma: "Aw, did i make you angry? Now you're going to say 'this is for Momota' and finally kill me, right?" Shuuichi: "C-calm down Harukawa-san!" Ouma: "Nah, let it go Saihara-chan. Harumaki-chan isn't someone who would quit if it's for Momota-chan." "And Momota-chan is just an uncool guy who can't do anything." (HAHA RIP KAITO XD) "He says he is an ultimate astronaut, but he's barely even at training level-" Shuuichi(thinking): "Even after all that, Ouma didn't stop there. But everyone started ignoring him, just rushing to Momota." Tsumugi: "Momota-kun! Are you okay?" (MOMOTA WANTED TO HIT OUMA, WHY ARE YOU ALL ONLY CARING ABOUT KAITO!? GODDAMNIT!) Kiibo: "Can you stand? Here, you can lean on me." Yumeno: "I'm sorry, my MP is at zero, i can't heal you..." Ouma: "Wait... Everyone? Why is everyone so worried about that dork who tried to hit me?" Shuuichi: "You're the dork here, Ouma-kun." Ouma: "H-huh..?" (HE LOOKS SO HURT BEING CALLED THAT BY SHUUICHI ;Q;) Shuuichi: "Momota-kun has everyone at his side, you have nobody at your side." "And not everyone is like you." (Shuuichi, you misunderstood him...) Ouma: "Haha! Are you all being friends? Even in a game like this, you still make friends? Then why am i getting left out?" "....." "Huh, how boring you all are. Ne, Saihara-chan, you just destroyed the exciting mood, congratulations." (he looks bored, he talks bored. Jep, all in all, he is bored xD) "Whatever. I'll just tell you all now." (monster takes over) "I'LL BE THE ONE TO WIN THIS GAME!" Shuuichi(thinking): "After that, Ouma-kun started walking and went away." (fiiiinallly goddamnit)