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writingforstraykids · 27 days

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I owe you a kiss - Pt.6

Pairing: Minchan x femReader

Word Count: 5362

Summary: Once you're back home, your husbands try their best to support you, but the circumstances are taking their toll on you. It all goes well until you find out who was the one driving that night...

Warnings/Tags: mention of amnesia, angst, tiny mention of blood, fluff, cuddles, anxious!soft!min, caring!soft!channie, domestic stuff, husband!min, husband!chan

A/N: I know, I know it looks like shit in the beginning but trust the word count, it'll get all good, soft and domestic🖤

PART FIVE | PART SEVEN

Minho slips out of his shoes and stands still for a moment. Chan closes the door and hesitantly slips his hand into Minho's. “Kitten?” he asks quietly but gets no response. “Min, look at me, please.”

Minho does, looking at him with wet eyes, still not saying a word. Chan gently rubs his shoulders before cupping his face and flashing him a small smile. “I know I should be happy,” he finally says. “I know I should be relieved that she's awake and talking. I know I should be happy that we finally got her back. I know I shouldn't still be feeling like shit,” he rambles, and Chan soothingly fondles his cheeks. “But you know how much she hates losing control. You know how scared she gets of change,” he hiccups helplessly, and a few hot tears slip down his cheeks. “Once it'll all settle in, she'll hate me, and I-I can't even blame her because I did-didn't do anything else those p-past two months a-and-.”

“Hey,” Chan says so softly it makes him shut his mouth. “I won't let that happen, baby. It was an accident and there was nothing you could've done,” he says firmly and pulls him in close. “I'm so thankful you're both alive, you know? I don't know-” his voice breaks, and Minho's heart sinks at the sound. “I don't know what I would've done if…,” he stops himself, not daring to put his deepest fear into words. “I get it, Minnie because it would've been a lot easier without the memory loss. I'm terrified of hurting her because I'm not fully feeling well yet. But as long as you won't let go of my hand in all this, I know I'll be okay.”

Minho carefully pulls Chan's hands off his face and intertwines their fingers. “I won't let go,” he says.

“I'll always have your back, okay?” Chan asks timidly, and Minho nods quickly.

“And I'll have yours,” he promises and squeezes his hands.

“I could really use a hug,” Chan admits, and Minho doesn't hesitate, pulling him close and kissing his cheek. He gently sways them from side to side and exhales softly. “I love you, Min.”

“I love you too, Channie,” Minho whispers back and squeezes him tightly.

Minho gently helps you out of your jacket and hangs it up for you. Neither Chan nor Minho had remembered that you only moved in here one and a half years ago, so the house was another factor. He watches you glance around the hallway timidly and swallows softly. “Anything familiar?” he asks gently.

You swallow hard and shake your head. “Not besides…some of the interior,” you tell him.

He notices how anxious it makes you and carefully slips his hand into yours. “Let me give you a tour, come on.”

You follow him through the house and recognize some bits of your old home. He tells you where to find the most important things, and seems like he's afraid to say anything wrong. It makes you sick seeing your husband try so hard to make you comfortable in a suddenly so unfamiliar place. “I-I'll go use the bathroom real quick,” you tell him, and he nods, telling you again where to find it.

You close the door and take a deep breath, hugging yourself tightly. “Fuck,” you whisper and sit down heavily at the edge of the bathtub. If you wouldn't know Minho and Chan had been your boyfriends for four years and then husbands for another five you would've freaked out at the hospital. You couldn't remember the past two years of your marriage, but the seven years before are enough to trust them. Still, it all feels so weird. You don't notice how much time has passed until Minho gently knocks at the door and lets himself in. He sits down next to you, and for a moment, you're both quiet. “Minho?” you ask timidly.

“Yeah?” he asks gently, turning to look at you.

“Have I been a good wife to you and Chan? Did we have fights? Did I hurt you? Did you hurt me?” you ask, and he inhales deeply. “I know this sounds weird, but…I have no idea where we left off.”

Minho fidgets with his wedding bands and hums thoughtfully. “I can't remember anything big concerning the two of us, we usually get along very well,” he tells you, a small smile on his lips. “We were on a date before the accident. I was very tired, was fighting with Chan over the phone, and…you said you'd take me out for dinner. You were trying to cheer me up, and you did, you always do,” he says and gently clears his throat, pushing away the images of what happened after.

“What about Chan?” you ask timidly, sensing something off.

Minho straightens up and pinches his nose, trying to figure out where to start. “About…six months ago, Channie wasn't feeling very well. He was overwhelmed with work and had no resources left for either of us, including himself. He pushed us both away, and one night, when I was abroad, he called me, saying he got into a fight with you and something was seriously wrong,” he tells you and chews on his lower lip. “I called you, asking you to go back and check on him as I flew back home. Chan was feeling numb for quite some time, and we did our best to support him figure out ways to make him feel again. After a while, he decided to visit his family in Australia, take a break, and everything. I stepped in for him at work, and it was killing me,” he admits. “I missed him like hell. I had to lead our team, and I felt lost without him, but you never gave up on me,” he says and his hand subconsciously slips into yours. “He caught me on a bad day, we got into an argument, and well…then we had that accident. Channie got onto the next plane and came back home as fast as he could.”

“Is he still struggling?” you ask hesitantly, and Minho smiles weakly.

“I don't know, Y/nnie. This whole thing has taken a huge toll on me. I broke down repeatedly and Chan took care of me as best as he could. He even got me a therapist, imagine that,” he laughs, and you can tell he's not really doing well with any of this. “I don't think he had much time to figure out how he truly feels. I should've been there for him more, but I…I could barely get myself out of bed sometimes.”

“I'm sorry,” you apologize timidly, squeezing his hand. “I'm so sorry, Min.”

Minho shakes his head firmly. “None of this is your fault,” he says and searches your eyes. “None of it, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod hesitantly.

Minho inhales shakily, a suspicious shimmer covering his eyes. “I know this whole memory thing is shit, honey. I feel selfish for saying this, but I'm just so glad you're alive and back home.”

You smile weakly and squeeze his hand firmly. “As long as I have you two, I'll be okay sooner or later.”

Minho gently squeezes back and looks up as Chan steps into the doorframe. “Oh my, am I interrupting something?” he chuckles.

“Hey, Channie love,” Minho says softly and Chan leans down to give him a kiss.

“Hey, kitten,” he smiles, gently caressing his cheek. Chan turns to you and gently brushes back your hair, kissing your head, unsure if you feel like kissing. “You're okay?”

“More or less,” you nod, and he sits down on your other side.

“We're always here if you need someone,” he tells you and gently pats your knee.

“Thanks,” you nod tiredly. “I really appreciate it, this can't be easy for you either.”

Minho remains quiet this time and glances at Chan. “We're just glad to have you back. The rest we can figure out together,” he assures you. “Just let us know, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod gently.

You turn onto your side heavily and are met with a sight that used to bring a smile to your face. Minho's asleep next to you, his hair hanging into his face, lips parted, and his bunny teeth showing a little. His lashes throw their shadows on his cheekbones and you once more notice how beautiful he is. You've been home for a week now and Minho took another two months off to keep an eye on you. You like being home with Min because he's there when you need him but lets you be when you don't. He doesn't push, he doesn't talk your ears off, and he tries his best not to handle you like you're made out of glass. Still, you can tell he doesn't see you when he looks at you. He doesn't see his wife. He sees the accident and the woman he lost due to the memory loss, and the guilt in his eyes suffocates you sometimes.

You haven't dared look up the accident yet, but slowly, you can't fight the urge to see what really happened that night. Minho doesn't like talking about it, and Chan wasn't there.

You slip out of bed and grab your phone, leaving your husband on his own. Locking yourself in the bathroom, you start researching and soon find article over article. Pictures of the crashed car send shivers down your spine. Investigating some further you can tell how worried your friends were about Minho during their interviews, who looks nothing but truly exhausted. You can tell he hasn't been sleeping much; his eyes look glassy in most of them, and Chan never leaves his side.

Minho looks up as you come downstairs to join him for breakfast and gets up, putting some waffles on your plate. “Thought you'd like something sweet,” he says and flashes you a smile.

“Who was driving?” you ask, making him freeze for a second.

“What do you mean?” he asks, but the slight tremble in his voice tells you he knows exactly what you mean.

“The accident. Who was driving?” you ask again, stopping in front of the table.

Minho carefully puts the plate down in front of you. “Does it matter?” he asks timidly.

“It does,” you nod, tilting your head at him. “Will you be honest with me, or do I have to ask someone else?”

He stares at you, wondering what you're aiming at with that question, but gives himself a push. “I was.”

“Were you drunk?” you ask, and Minho's frown deepens.

“No.”

“You said you were tired, was that it? Was that what made you miss something?” you ask, and he subconsciously takes a step back. “Were you so upset about Chan that you weren't paying attention?”

“Y/nnie,” he pleads quietly. “Don’t do this.”

“Min,” you say firmly. “I can't remember the past two years of my life. I don't know what happened and no one can tell me because that'll only be your version of every day,” you say and take a shuddery breath. “Chan hasn't kissed me once since I'm back home, and you look at me like I'm something broken you're too attached to to get rid of. That hurts, Min. I just want my fucking life back!”

Minho raises his hands in defense and steps closer to you. “Honey, I'm sorry, you're right. I can't make up for all that time. But she said they'd come back to you in a few months, at least that the chance is very, very high,” he tries, but the way your eyes darken, he knows you don't want to hear any of it. He tries to brace himself for the emotional outburst that's about to happen, but he can't prepare himself for what you say next.

“No, you really can't make up for it. Not if you're the one causing this whole mess,” you say, noticing the fear flickering in his eyes, but you don't care. “You were the one driving, you're the one feeling guilty, and now I know why. My whole life went to shit because of you!” you snap at him. Minho doesn't say anything, simply stares at you as your words sink in. His body trembles, his stomach tightening painfully, and his eyes filling with tears. “You fucked everything up, and you're trying so hard to make up for it by staying home with me. Now I know why you so desperately try to make me feel better, and I thought it was because you loved me!”

Minho looks at you as if you just hit him right in the face. A soft whimper leaves his lips, snapping you out of your rage, before tears start running down his face, and his body shakes with a sob. “I know, okay?!” he snaps right back at you. “I know it's all my fault! I-I know I fucked up, and I-I'm the one to b-blame,” he hiccups helplessly, taking a few steps back as you reach for him timidly. “I'm sorry, Y/nnie, I swear, I did-didn't want this.”

“Min,” you whisper guiltily, but your husband shakes his head firmly, biting back a sob. “I'm so sorry, darling, I didn't mean it.”

“Don't lie,” he says, voice cracking.

“I'm sorry, please,” you try, but Minho pushes past you and goes back upstairs. You let him, knowing he can't handle you, seeing how badly you just hurt him. Helplessly, you grab your phone and call Chan.

“Hey, baby girl, I'm on my way home. Is everything-.”

“Channie,” you whimper.

“What's wrong, baby?” he asks worriedly, putting you on speaker.

“I hurt Min,” you tell him, hugging yourself tightly and sitting down on the sofa.

“Hurt him how?” he asks nervously, taking a turn left.

“I said some dumb stuff about him being responsible for my life turning to shit and that the accident was his fault,” you say, and it's quiet for a moment. “Chan?”

“Ynnie…please tell me you didn't,” Chan says lowly, heart sinking to his stomach. “Please tell me you didn't.”

“I'm sorry, Channie, I didn't mean it,” you whisper timidly. “I was just…I don't know what got into me.”

“I…fuck, okay, I'll be home in a bit,” he tells you, swallowing down the lump forming in his throat.

“Thank you,” you sniffle.

Chan stares at his phone as you end the call and slams his hand on the wheel. “Fucks sake Ynnie, not when I finally convinced him otherwise,” he curses and finally reaches your street. “Shit, shit, shit.”

Chan quietly pulls the front door closed behind himself and swallows hard as he meets your anxious eyes. “Where is he?” he asks.

“Upstairs,” you tell him. “Channie, I'm sorry,” you tell him, tears filling your eyes. “I'm so sorry.”

Chan sighs softly and opens his arms for you, pulling you into a tight hug as you get up. “I know you are. I know you're struggling, and I know we can't take that pain away,” he says, soothingly rubbing your back. “But baby girl, you can't forget Minho is a victim here too. He might have been the one driving, but he's also the one who saw you unconscious, covered in blood, and not knowing if you'd ever wake up again,” he tells you gently, without sounding like he's blaming you even a little. “He still feels guilty because he'd rather be the one getting hurt. He's been having nightmares and panic attacks and had a really hard time believing that it isn't his fault, you know?”

“I just fucked that up, didn't I?” you ask timidly.

“I don't know,” he answers honestly.

“I asked him if he was drunk,” you admit shamefully.

Chan bites back a sigh, trying to be patient with you. “Okay, come on,” he says and pulls you to the sofa. “The police provided us the security camera footage, where you very clearly see who's at fault,” he says and grabs his phone, showing you the clip.

You can see your car pulling up at the crossroads. Suddenly, a car races down the street from the right and crashes right into your side. It's raining heavily, making the road slippery and causing both cars to slide to the side a few meters. Once the video is over, you look at Chan horrified.

“That other driver was drunk,” he tells you gently. “He was speeding, ignored a red light, and honestly, looking at this, it's a miracle you two are still alive. So please, don't blame anyone else but that guy, hm?”

You nod quickly and chew on your lower lip anxiously. “Channie angel?”

“Yeah?” he asks gently.

“Can you tell him I'm sorry? I don't think he wants to see me right now,” you say timidly.

Chan nods and kisses your temple. “I will. We'll fix this, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod, relieved.

“I'll go check on him, alright?” he asks, and you nod bravely. Chan grabs a blanket and wraps you up in it, flashing you an encouraging smile. “We'll be okay.”

You timidly grab his hand and search his eyes. “I love you.”

Chan's face softens. “I love you too, baby girl.”

Chan opens the door to the room he uses to work from home, suspecting that's where he'll find Minho. His heart breaks a little as he sees him sitting on the small sofa there, his legs hugged up to his chest. Minho's wearing a sweater of his, burying his face in its sleeves as he takes shaky breaths, clearly trying to calm down. He silently closes the door and walks over, kneeling down in front of him and soothingly rubbing his thighs. “Bunny?” he asks so softly Minho looks up with wide, teary eyes. It's a term reserved for their most private, intimate moments and it never fails to make Minho feel so safe and loved.

He doesn't say anything, body moving on its own as he slips from the sofa and crawls right into his lap. Chan welcomes him with one of his most loving and healing hugs, nuzzling his nose into his hair.

“I love you,” Chan whispers, cradling his head. Minho slumps against him, burying himself into his arms as deeply as he can, growing so small it breaks Chan's heart.

“I'm so tired, Chan,” Minho says, voice raspy from crying. “I'm so fucking tired.”

“I know,” Chan says and turns with him in his hold, leaning against the sofa. “How can I help?”

“There's nothing you can do,” he answers quietly. “She hates me. I fucked up her life.”

“You really think that?” he asks patiently.

“Doesn't matter. She does,” he says.

“Do you?” he asks. “You think you fucked up her life?”

“Apparently, I'm not exactly making it easier,” he answers. “Since I'm the drunken, heartbroken, distracted fuck who got us into that accident.”

Chan mindlessly rubs his lower back. “Apparently…so you don't believe it.”

“I-” Minho grows quiet before pulling back and searching his eyes timidly. “Does that matter if she does?”

“To me, it does,” he nods. “You've been blaming yourself for months, saying the most hurtful shit about yourself…I think you made some progress,” he says calmly.

“Not really,” he shakes his head. “The minute someone throws it at my face, I agree with them.”

“Bunny, can I tell you something?” he asks, and Minho nods tiredly. “She called me the minute you left, saying she fucked up. She asked me to tell you she's sorry because you probably wouldn't want to see her now.”

Minho's eyes fill with tears. “Really?” he asks timidly, and Chan nods. “I really thought she hated me now.”

Chan gently cups his face and plants a tiny kiss on the tip of his nose. “She doesn't, I promise.”

Minho messily wipes his cheeks with the sleeves before stopping in his movement and groaning at himself. “Fuck, I completely messed up your sweater.”

“That's okay,” Chan giggles softly. “We can wash it.”

Minho hums and smiles shyly. “Just really needed you close after that,” he tells him.

“You're so cute,” he smiles happily. “Also-” he gets interrupted by the door opening. The two of them look up and see you standing in the doorframe, shaking with sobs.

Minho moves before Chan can fully comprehend the sight and wraps you into a tight hug. “Shh, honey, it's okay.”

You hug back tightly and shake your head. “Nothing is okay,” you sob. “I hurt you. Just be-because I can't cope with what's happening.”

“It's okay,” Minho whispers gently, caressing your head. “I promise we're okay.”

You timidly grab his sweater a little tighter and bury yourself into him. “I'm sorry, Min. You didn't fuck up anything,” you hiccup. “I love you so much.”

Minho buries his face in your shoulder and shakes his head. “I know,” he whispers and squeezes you gently. “I love you too, my pretty girl.”

“I just wanna feel normal again,” you whimper, and Minho's hold on you tightens.

“Try and give yourself some credit, honey. You went through some shit, and you're still dealing with the aftermath,” he says softly and kisses your hair. “Try being a little more patient with yourself.”

Chan smiles sadly, remembering himself saying something so similar to Minho only weeks ago when they went for a walk. So he did listen.

Two weeks later

You anxiously meet your reflection in the mirror before staring down at your products on the sink. Chan said he'd take you both out to dinner, and you just wanted to look nice but you had trouble remembering your routines. You talked to your doctor about it, and she told you it's completely normal to get confused easily by those things at the moment.

Minho walks into the bathroom, buttoning up his shirt, and flashes you a gentle smile. “You're alright, beautiful?”

“Yeah,” you nod quickly and stare back down at your things. “I…I think I need help,” you tell him, glancing up at him as he fixes his hair.

“Sure, what do you need?” he asks, not quite picking up on your struggle yet. Minho grabs your concealer and carefully hides the dark patches beneath his eyes. He's still not sleeping well, and it shows.

“I uh, I forgot what I usually do,” you tell him, waving at the various items displayed at the sink. “Like…did I have some sort of routine? Because if I did it's nonexistent in my brain right now.”

“Oh,” he nods and puts your concealer back down. “Uh, I'm not sure, but I can still help,” he tells you, and you smile relieved. “One second,” he winks at you and leaves the room, coming back with a chair. “Alright, take a seat, honey.”

You giggle softly and do as you're told. Chan joins you, chuckling in confusion as he sees you. “Min's helping me, my brain is letting me down right now.”

“Oh,” he laughs and watches Minho grab some of your things. “Yeah, it's good you asked him and not me.”

“I had a feeling,” you tease him lovingly.

Chan chuckles and turns back to the mirror, adjusting the collar of his shirt. He fixes his hair that frames his face in those beautiful curls you love so much and you can see the frown forming on his face before it’s fully there. It’s beyond you how both of your husbands were this stunningly pretty and still had their trouble believing so, Chan much more than Min. “Channie?” you ask gently, and he hums in response. “You look very handsome.”

Chan meets your eyes through the mirror, face softening. “Thank you, baby girl,” he says with a sweet, shy smile. Minho turns around, taking in the sight of his husband, and hums agreeingly before slapping his bum. Chan snorts and fondly rolls his eyes. “Typical.”

“That’s your own fault wearing those trousers,” he smirks before getting started with helping you. “Who even allowed you to leave the house in those, huh? Surely not me. No one else should be allowed to see how well-.”

“Minho,” Chan whines in protest, blushing heavily. “Shut up, will you?”

Minho smiles softly and then you realize he must’ve noticed Chan’s insecurities getting the better of him as well. “Only because it’s you,” he tells him fondly. “So, I think you started like this,” he tells you. He talks you through it, checking in with you if what he’s doing makes sense, and tries his best to make you satisfied with the result. Only a little later you’re ready to go and thank him happily. “Always, princess,” he assures you kindly. “You need help with your hair as well?”

“No, thank you, darling,” you smile at him. “I’ll be done in a bit.”

“No rush, honey,” he tells you and kisses your cheek before leaving you some space. He joins Chan downstairs, who’s standing at the kitchen island, bent forward on his elbows as he checks his phone. Minho smiles at the sight and steps behind him, wrapping his arms around him. Chan gently intertwines their hands on his stomach and finishes his message to Lix with one hand. “You’re alright, kitten?”

“Yeah,” he nods and nuzzles his face into his neck. “Ah, you put on my favorite cologne,” he smirks, burying his nose deeper into his skin.

Chan hums, agreeing, and turns off his phone, turning in his hold. He smiles as their eyes meet and gently nudges his nose with his own. “Pretty boy,” he whispers, and Minho blushes softly. “I miss you.”

“Miss me?” Minho frowns gently. “I’m right here, love.”

“No..like,” he leaves the sentence unfinished, gently squeezing Minho’s hips.

“Oh,” Minho laughs brightly and kisses him sweetly. “I can stop by the company tomorrow, just make sure Sungie and Binnie aren’t around.”

“I think I can arrange that,” Chan chuckles, gently cupping his face.

“Don’t start anything you can’t finish now,” Minho warns him, and Chan rolls his eyes, kissing him lovingly. Minho kisses back sweetly and pulls back soon, knowing Chan could get lost in kissing way too quickly. They really didn’t have time for this now. Not with you coming downstairs any minute, still finding your way back into your marriage. “Channie…is that place you picked in walking distance?” he asks.

“I figured there’s a chance she doesn’t feel safe to drive yet, so yes,” he nods, and Minho hums, relieved. “Also, you aren’t exactly keen to sit in a car yet, either.”

“Not really,” he chuckles agreeingly. “Thank you, Channie.”

“For what?” he frowns softly.

“For being so considerate and caring,” he smiles, shaking his head as Chan is about to respond. “Don’t you dare say it’s nothing now, I will kick you.”

“Oh,” Chan nods, holding back a laugh.

“Idiot,” he giggles fondly, poking his side.

“I’m ready,” you interrupt them gently, standing a little away from them.

Chan smiles at you sweetly. “You look beautiful, baby girl,” he tells you, and you mirror his smile.

“Our beautiful girl,” Minho agrees proudly, taking your hand and pulling you closer. “We should probably leave, right?”

Chan checks his watch. “Yeah, we should.”

You swallow softly and glance at them timidly. “Can I sit in the back?” you ask.

“I thought we could take a walk, it’s close by. If we’re lucky, we can see the stars on our way back home,” he says, watching your eyes brim with tears. “Or we can take the car?” he asks nervously.

“No,” you shake your head and laugh weakly. “I would prefer walking,” you assure him. “Thank you, Channie angel.”

“God, you two sometimes,” he breathes out, squeezing Min’s and your hand. “It’s nothing, really an-ey!” he breaks off in protest as Minho punches his shoulder.

“I told you, it’s not nothing. It means a lot, my love, and we’re very happy to have you,” he says. “Also, be glad I didn’t kick your pretty a-.”

“Okay,” Chan laughs and pulls you both with him. “Enough of this now, you’ll make me get all sappy, let’s go.”

You enjoy your first evening out immensely. It makes you feel less like something’s wrong with you. Both Chan and Minho focus mostly on you, making sure you’re alright and comfortable. The many smells and loud noises are overwhelming at first, and they try their best to distract you. Once you allow yourself to relax, things get easier. Dinner is delicious, but what truly makes your evening is the laughter, gentle touches, and the way they make sure you’re part of the conversation.

On your walk home, you indeed see the stars painting the dark canvas of the night sky. You’re walking between them, holding onto their hands, and feel a lot closer to Chan as well. Minho occasionally points out constellations, sometimes playfully bickering with Chan about the correct name. You find yourself smiling, genuinely smiling, for the first time in a while. You think about your day and suddenly stop in your tracks, leading to your husbands turning in confusion.

“Y/nnie?” Chan frowns as your eyes fill with tears. “Are you okay?”

“I remember that place,” you breathe out, and they both stare at you with wide eyes. “We had dinner there the week we moved in, didn’t we? Channie, you spilled your drink all over Min’s pants. Min, you wouldn’t stop cursing because it got all sticky and-” you break off in wonder as your mind forms such vivid pictures of that day.

Minho laughs wetly, a hot tear falling down his face. “Yeah, yeah, that’s exactly what happened.”

Chan still stares at you in wonder before laughing weakly. “You remember?”

You nod happily, messily wiping your cheeks. “Yeah, I know that’s not much, but-.”

“No, baby, this is huge,” Chan smiles through tears, wrapping you into a tight hug. “That’s your first breakthrough after only three weeks, baby.”

You giggle happily and beam at Minho, who’s still frozen in place. Reaching out for him, he takes your hand and lets you pull him into your hug. Minho cups your cheek and kisses your forehead softly. “I’m so happy for you,” he tells you genuinely.

Back home, as you prepare for bed, the weight of the day slowly settles on your shoulders. For the first time since you got back home it doesn’t feel like the burden of another wasted day but a blanket of comfort. It reminds you of the love and care that surrounds you in the presence of your husbands. Minho brushes your hair as Chan takes off your makeup for you, both as gentle as they can get.

As you lay in bed between them, the events of the past few weeks replay in your mind. The argument with Minho feels like a very distant memory now, simply a hurdle you’ve all overcome together. His forgiveness, his understanding, and his undying love for you feel like a balm for your wounded, anxious heart. Chan’s patience, kindness, and unwavering support for the two of you remind you of the strength of your bond.

In the quiet of the night, with Chan’s steady breathing on one side and Minho’s warm presence on the other, you feel a sense of peace lull you in. The road to your recovery would still be a long one, and you weren’t naive enough to believe that there wouldn’t be any more challenges.

You whisper a quiet “I love you” into the darkness, and in the soft murmur of their responses, you find a promise—a promise of healing and a love that will never leave you. You don’t know why, but right here, you understand that no matter what comes your way, you’ll face it together as a family. With that thought, you drift into a peaceful sleep, knowing that with Chan and Minho by your side, you’ll be okay. You would talk to Chan about the distance you feel another day, and you’d work through your shared trauma with Minho another time, supporting him through his share of the deal as well. For today, you’re glad to be able to fall asleep between the loves of your life.

PART FIVE | PART SEVEN

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

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enstarriedownbad · 11 months

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Mayoi Ayase x F!reader

‼️Minors don't interact

Genre: smut

Tags: switch!Mayoi, breeding, established relationship, fluff at the start

Plot: After passing by a couple of young parents at the mall and helping a lost child, you and your boyfriend Mayoi have a baby fever. Maybe he could try putting one in you?

Words: 2,029

Day 19 OF Enstars x Reader NSFW month - Mayoi Ayase

By clicking on "show more," you acknowledge that you are 18+ and consent to read this fiction.

11 am. On a busy Saturday.

You are at the mall with Mayoi to try some sweets in a new cake shop. Apparently, Niki and Hiiro already went there and recommended it to him. It's only natural that you two go there together, be it because of Mayoi's social battery being low or just because he wanted you to tag along. In other words, this is a date.

Once you have arrived in front of the store, you get a table for two and sit on one of the chairs. You take a look at the menu. Everything looks so appetizing.

"Mhh, I don't know what to order..." you say out loud. "Have you already chosen, Mayoi?"

...

No reply. You lay your eyes off of the menu to look at your boyfriend. He looks lost in thoughts, staring at something. You turn around to face what is at the end of his gaze: a couple of young parents with their two children. By now, you know that Mayoi likes kids. He loves being a brotherly figure to them. Even though Mayoi barely mentions his family to you, you don't recall him having a little brother or sister.

"Are you envious of this family?~" you ask him kindly, thinking he's wishing he had a sibling.

"Huh? Ah, not really..." he replies in a tone that makes you thing he wants something else.

"Hmm... Anyways, have you chosen what to order?" you ask.

"Ah, sorry Y/N, I was deep in thoughts. Let me see..." he replies. "I think I'll go with the parfait."

"And I'll take a cheesecake!", you reply joyfully.

After ordering, your desserts are brought on your table. Mayoi looks all shy after interacting with the waitress. You can't help but want to tease him a bit.

You wait for him to dip his spoon again in his dessert.

"Could I try your dessert?" you ask your boyfriend.

"S-sure!"

"Aaaa" you let out as you open your mouth, waiting for him to feed you.

Without him saying a word, you can tell he's probably thinking 'Is this real? 'I'm so sinful for having weird thoughts!' 'She must be hum...I don't know?!' Or something like this. So you don't mind re-doing it for him to get it.

"Aaaa"

Reluctantly but excitedly, Mayoi puts the spoon in your mouth. His dessert tastes so good. You can't help but let out a small happy noise. You back up from the cutlery and smile at him. Even though he's hiding his face, you can tell he's blushing.

After leaving the store, you hear a small voice calling out for you.

"Mommy?!", a small child cries while holding onto your skirt. "Mommy??"

You and Mayoi turn around. Looks like this kid is lost and mistook you for his mom. You look at your man in surprise.

"Maybe we should help this little one..." he advices. "Hello there... What's your name?" he asks the boy gently.

Mayoi proceeds to calm the child down. As expected, he's good with kids. You look at him acting all kind and gentle. It triggers something within you, but you can't put a word on it. Nonetheless, you want to help as well.

"We'll help you find your mommy, don't worry!" you tell the child as you take his hand in yours.

You first try to wait for the mother where you are. After all, when a child is lost, their parents always tell them to stay where they are so that they can come find them. As you three are waiting nearby the shop you just ate at, you notice Mayoi is blushing even harder than usual.

"W-we kinda look like a family right now..." he softly whispers in your ear.

Oh. True. So you would be the mom, and Mayoi the dad. Parents, huh... You blush at his reply.

No mother in sight.

The three of you then try to get to the mall's security office, but the passageway is too crowded to move safely with a small child with you. Mayoi suddenly takes the little one on his shoulders and finds a short-cut. You follow him. The view you have before your eyes is so sweet. He's definitely looking more manly under this angle. You find a liking to this side of him.

"Honey?! Where were you? I was so scared..." a woman says in the distance.

The mother then thanked you both and left the mall with a smiling child.

On your way home, Mayoi holds your hand tight. The warmth of his hand makes you feel safe. The two of you have the same thoughts: you'd love to see each other as parents.

"D-Do you want kids, Y/N?" your boyfriend asks, expecting a negative answer.

"I'm not against the idea if it's with you..." you mutter.

Mayoi stops walking for a second, surprised by your answer.

"H-huh? I probably misheard... You deserve better than me as the father of your children... After all, I'm worth---"

"Because you know someone who would treat me better than you?" you cut him off. "Who else would clear their busy schedules to see me everyday? Who else would gift me cute stuff? Who else would love me more than you?"

He wants to reply, but he doesn't manage to.

"Besides, YOU are the one I love Mayoi, not anyone else, you," you reply in a semi-angry tone, a bit frustrated that your boyfriend thinks he doesn't deserve you. "So back to your question, yes I'd like to have kids with you!".

"You would bare my kids...?"

It's only after he finishes his sentence that you realize you've just shouted out loud that you want his kids. Plus, the way he worded it sounds like this isn't the first time he's been thinking about this. The both of you are now a blushing mess. His hand feels even hotter.

By chance, you finally reach your home. The two of you stop at your front door.

"Then, I'll see you soon, Y/N?" he says as he fidgets with his fingers, obviously wanting to stay by your side. He looks like he's desperate to continue the conversation or something else inside...

"Come on, stay for a while..." you reply.

"A-am I allowed to??" he asks, even though he's been there a hundred times already. Plus, it's not the moment right now.

You kiss him as an answer.

"You want to put your kids with me but won't get inside the house?" you ask, all flirtatious.

Suddenly, the tension rises even more. After an intense eye contact, the two of you walk toward your bedroom while kissing and removing each other's clothes on the way there like animals in heat. Once you reach the room, you are already fully undressed.

Mayoi sits on your bed. You sit on his lap, facing him. The two of you start making out on the spot. Your tongues intertwine, not leaving room for anything else, even for oxygen. All you can feel right now is the sweet taste in your mouth as well as Mayoi's dick hardening against your abdomen. The passion of the kiss makes you fall even harder for each other. You two can only think about each other's bodies. The kiss is so exquisite that tears are forming down Mayoi's eyes. Too bad you have to back up to get some air.

As both of you are practically panting, you slightly push down your lover's shoulders so that he lays down on your mattress. You take the time to admire his body. It's not the first time you've seen him naked, but now that you know that this body of his can and will impregnate you, you look at him in a different light. Mayoi's scanning is quite persistent, too. You caress his abs and thighs before digging in and putting his cock in your mouth. As your mouth licks all around his tip and length, you can hear his moans resonating in the room. His dick feels thicker now. He's definitely hard enough to get to the main part.

"Hm~... Y/N..."

You suddenly stop the blow job. Surely you don't want any drop to go to waste.

You get back on your knees and align yourself on top his cock. Mayoi's cock twitches at the contact of your two genitals. You slowly insert his dick inside of you. Your walls spread open to take him in. The thickness of his length hurts a bit. You stop for a second.

"Are you okay? I-it doesn't hurt, does it?" Mayoi asks, concerned.

"N-no, it's okay," you reply as your body adapts to your lover's.

Soon enough, you continue going down, fitting more of him inside of you, until you finally reach his thighs. Mayoi's hand is resting on your thigh while yours is resting on his torso. You begin moving a bit, going up and down repeatedly. What was slow at first gradually became faster. Mayoi joins in, too, and starts pushing his hips forward to thrust a bit more into you. It all feels so romantic.

"Aah Y/N...," Mayoi moans.

"Mayoi~..."

You fasten your pace and begin focusing on where you two are linked. Suddenly, Mayoi uses his free hand to grab one of your boobs and squeezes it.

"Ah~!" you let out.

You feel your climax is approaching, so his must be even closer because of your blow job.

"...Y/N... Do you really want to be pregnant from me?" he asks while panting.

"Yes~"

"T- then together..."

After a few more thrusts, you slam your thighs against his one last time before locking his dick deep inside of you.

"Ah... Carry my kids..!" Mayoi moans while closing his eyes from the pleasure.

"I-I'll bare your kids," you moan while having an orgasm alongside him.

You feel his semen filling you, going up your womb, trying to reach your deepest parts. Mayoi is pressing hard on both of your thighs, trying to make sure that he's pressing himself against your cervix while shooting more inside of you. He definitely wants to impregnate you.

The first drops of his cum leave your body because of the position. Mayoi instantly notices and frowns.

"L-let's try again," he says.

Suddenly, Mayoi lifts you up as if you weighted the same as a feather. In the process, his dick leaves your cunt. But only a few seconds later, you find yourself lying down, head on the pillow, spooned by Mayoi. This position is definitely one of those that help to conceive. He doesn't waste any time and penetrates you from behind. Both of his hands are busy with your chest, and his thighs are pressing against yours. Mayoi really switched the roles. And there is no way you wouldn't get pregnant from this position. Nonetheless, Mayoi thrusts harder, yet still romantically. Because the positon, ou pretty much can't do anything other than taking what he gives. And he's pretty good at it. All of his thrusts are deep enough to reach your end every tim he moves. Adding that to the naughty sound that is made when he slams his thighs into yours, it's only natural that you reach your climax again.

You turn your face around with your tongue out, begging for a kiss. Your lover joins in, mixing your two salivas again. His expression is so... manly and different than usual, minus the fact that you got him blushing again. You love this side of him. You only want him to show that face to you. But you love all of Mayoi's aspects. His laugh, his smiles, his everything. You're very much in love. Wet sounds, moanings, Mayoi's facial expression. You can't hold it anymore. Your boyfriend secures you as close as possible before cumming inside of you again.

"Mayoi~"

"Y/N~..."

Your stomach definitely gets bigger from all the cum he's pumping inside of you. You stay in the position for a moment.

Ah? You suddenly get turned around again in another position that helps to get pregnant. Mayoi definitely saw into those. It looks like he won't be done with you until he shoots blanks.

Sorry I'm late jsjdbej

No proofread, eyes burning (send help)

#esxreadernsfwmonth2023 #nsft es!!#enstars thirsts #enstars x you #enstars x reader smut #enstars smut #enstars x female reader #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #ensemble stars x y/n #ensemble stars smut #mayoi ayase smut #mayoi ayase x reader

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jackdaw-sprite · 9 months

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Fic Author Self Rec

I got pinged by @murphy-kitt in the fic authors self rec (Thank you!) so here we are a couple of days later.

I actually only have 14 published works on AO3, and one of them is a collab so unlike some I don't have too many to be indecisive over! This did not keep me from being indecisive.

The Horologist's Paradox

Summary: A quiet little domestic lost time oneshot where Danny lives with Clockwork. That doesn't mean that everything is good. Clockwork in particular has some regrets.

Reasoning: This is my most recent complete fic, and there's a bit of a recency bias in my head. But also I love how I balanced the domesticity and Clockwork's inhuman nature in it, and finally managed to include some more of Clockwork's snark in a characterization that still made him care deeply about Danny and be soft with him. The build to Clockwork's fantasy of fixing Danny feels properly slow to me, and I loved writing it -- I wrote most of that fantasy in a single night, compared with a few hundred words here and there for the rest of it.

A confession: I decided on submitting the 'Danny discovers his insides are turning into clockwork' prompt for phight before writing this. The prompt got so far into my brain that I needed to write it (well,something related :)) myself. Well. More than I already had. I do have a lot of WIPs :D

Funerary Rites (ongoing)

Summary: Alternate portal incident. To save his parents' lives, Danny agrees to a deal with the fae who tends the veil after they rend a hole in it.

Reasoning: I'm happy with the writing thus far, but really this is more on my list because of how much I'm looking forward to writing the rest of it. Unlike everything else on this list, this is incomplete and very slow going -- the planned character interactions are difficult to write and it's only going to get worse as things, uh. Get worse. The outline for this thing is 13k words, about 7k of which is specifically for the incident in question. The moment I reread the outline it bores directly into my head again and inflicts me with more Thoughts.

Mare

Summary: Danny goes on a fetch quest to the moon. A ten years later fic, set in a spirit world au somewhat inspired by Natsume's book of friends.

Reasoning: While this fic ended up being about moving on, growing up, (not) letting go, and the fear of change it started as an excuse to just go completely nuts with description, which I consider one of my strong suits in writing. It shows! The pacing here is honey-slow but I still adore a lot of the description I used. I'm going to indulge in copying a scrap from the start, in fact:

At his left, the swells of hills and mountains began to sway, as the boughs of the forest covering it caught in a breeze. In the razor-edged light, the leaves gleamed silver and for long minutes it was as though Danny were flying between not one but two seas: one a mirror, and one of blades. In the real world, neither existed. The lunar soil was barren and dry. But Danny hadn't existed in the real world for a long time.

Cosmic Horror

Summary: Clockwork comforts Danny in the wake of the cloning incident. But Clockwork is not human, nor anything close to it, and his lair is vast and deep.

Reasoning: This was my first published fic for the fandom, and really I'm still fond of it! Again the description here is a strong point but it's less of a vivid spirit world situation and more of an eldritch god that loves Danny situation.

Solanum

Summary:

After she mentions that one of her tomatoes isn't doing well, Danny and Tucker decide to cheer Sam up by sneaking a replacement tomato plant into her greenhouse. It does not go well.

Short and sweet, at just under a thousand words.

Reasoning: Really I just like how light this was, and how fun! Most of my stuff is varying shades of fucked up and most of that is lost time. This is just Danny and Tucker meaning well but not really thinking things through, and not really knowing anything about plants.

As for tags... here are some no-pressure tags:

@gamma-radio-dp @strawberrycamel @reading-wanderer @datawyrms @seaglass-skies @echoghost1

#me talking #tag game #well sort of #danny phantom #long post

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livebeginning · 5 months

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Kastany's Raphael Prompt List

Hello! So, I have a ton of smutty ideas for Raphael, originally for my Pretty Little Pet fic, but I've come to realize that I don't have the time and energy to write all of them or fit them into my story.

So I'm releasing my ideas into the wild, hoping someone else will pick them up! If you use any of these, credit isn't necessary but appreciated, and of course I'd love to read your stories :) I'm Kastany on AO3, if you publish anywhere else tag or mention my tumblr main @deadending

Most of these prompts are made with sub!Raphael and my male OC Mio in mind, but obviously you can substitute your own OC, Tav, reader or maybe even another character, like Haarlep. Speaking of Haarlep, some prompts will mention them specifically.

Pretty much all of these are NSFW/18+ and most of them involve some form of BDSM. They're intended to be consensual but can be made dub-/non-con if that's your thing. I also added some uses for spells and potions found in BG3.

I'll probably add more in the future, so check back sometime!

Raphael getting spanked - He might be indignant at first but is a moaning mess by the end of it

Impact play - Raphael definitely has a collection of whips, canes and other implements for causing pain. Give him a taste of his own medicine and punish him. Remember that BG3 has healing potions, so Tav doesn't have to hold back!

Degradation - Call him a slut, whore, a tease, not even worthy of Tav's attention. Maybe use the fact that he's a mere cambion (not even a real devil!) to really humiliate him

Temperature play - Raphael is used to the heat of Avernus, which makes him more sensitive to cold. Use ice cubes or spells to make him shiver

Sensory deprivation (with Haarlep?) - With or without the help of spells (e.g. blindness, silence, hold monster), make him extra sensitive to any touch Tav deigns to give him. Especially fun in combination with Haarlep, where Raphael doesn't even get touched directly, only experiencing the ghost sensation of Haarlep's pleasure

Dress up - Raphael definitely has a giant closet and when Tav discovers this, they want to play dress up with him. At some point they discover Raphael's collection of lingerie, corsets, maybe even high heels and of course want to see him in those too

Waxing - Raphael has lovely chest hair hidden behind that fancy doublet, now remove it in the most painful way using wax (or other methods!)

Dumbification - It's hard being the smartest person in the room all the time. Give Raphael some relief by removing some of those brain cells (maybe with the help of some spells like Confusion or Hypnotic Pattern?) and letting him focus on what's really important - being Tav's dumb little sex toy

Deep throat training - Using a dildo or strap-on Tav helps Raphael get rid of that gag reflex. As a reward he gets to enjoy the full length of Tav's cock

Genital change - Maybe Tav has a preference, Raphael just wants a change, or he's always been like this. Either way, Raphael has a pussy now. Haarlep could join for some double penetration fun. Or perhaps Tav already has two cocks to fill up Raphael?

Loss of Power - Tav has nice gift for Raphael, a necklace/collar/ring. Unfortunately for Raphael, he didn't realize that it would bind his powers before putting it on, so now he's powerless and only Tav can remove the item. Which they will only do once they had their fun!

Tying his wings together - Using ropes, spells, or maybe chains. They've got spikes a the bottom, if you were to put cuffs on each on them and chain them together he couldn't open them anymore

Suspension - Let him dangle from the ceiling and writhe in his binds. Maybe display those pretty wings of his and turn him into a piece of art

Hidden statue - With the help of some spells Raphael replaces one of the many statues in his own house, on display for all the debtors. Maybe they know it's him, maybe they don't

Candelabra - Attach candles to his horns or have him hold them up while Tav reads a book. Maybe suspend him from the ceiling as a chandelier!

Public humiliation - Raphael has an important meeting and he arrives there at the end of Tav's leash wearing (almost?) nothing. The other party may or may not want a taste of Raphael's new found willingness to pleasure them. If you want to preserve Raphael's dignity, simply erase the other party's memory after everything's done

Haarlep's reward - Tav has Raphael pleasure Haarlep for once. They deserve it after putting up with Raphael for so long. Maybe they want a full body massage, a blowjob, every inch of their body worshiped, fucked by Raphael for once or all of the above. You decide if Haarlep has Raphael's form during this or they don't want to share the sensation with him

Tail bondage - Make Raphael use his own tail to tie up his hands and arms

Cut his wings - Imagine those wing membranes are very sensitive - now take a knife a carve them up in pretty patterns. Don't worry, afterwards you can heal them with potions, no lasting harm done!

Spells & Potions

Mage Hand - Having an extra hand is always useful. Maybe make it invisible for that extra surprise effect?

Shocking Grasp - For pain/electrocution play

Sleep - For somnophilia. Raphael can wake up when Tav fucks him or we can pretend Sleep has a stronger effect and Raphael stays asleep

Blindness - As alternative to using a blindfold, so Tav can still see those pretty eyes!

Enlargen - Especially fun if Tav is usually smaller than Raphael. Now they can toss him around for a change

Invisibility - Not knowing where Tav is gonna touch him next can be exciting. Maybe combine with a mirror so Raphael can fully see himself come undone? (We're gonna pretend Tav can keep the spell up while they fuck)

Silence - More effective than any earplugs

Hold Monster - Keeps Raphael from moving around so Tav can do whatever they want to him

Planar Binding - Full control over Raphael!

Telekinesis - Throw him around a bit

Potion of Cloud Giant Strength - Usually weak Tav surprises Raphael by suddenly being able to manhandle him

#bg3 #bg3 raphael #baldur's gate 3 #raphael bg3 #pompts #fanfiction prompts #fanfiction ideas #raphael x oc #raphael x tav #haarlep #bg3 spoilers

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mynotsohealthyobsession · 6 months

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Disembodied parte 4/8

Warning: Mention of death // Angst // Fluff

Pairings: Adrian Raines X MC // Nik Ryder X MC

Words: 1.277

As always, tags in the reblog!

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

They both stood rooted in place. Neither of them moved or said a word. It seemed like time had stopped and neither of them knew how to reset it. Their eyes studied each other's faces, recognizing themselves. Amy saw the ponytail that Alex had made with her hair, something truly unusual for her. Alex, instead, noticed that Amy had picked her more casual clothes, avoiding anything hunter-related.

After a while, Amy walked inside the penthouse and closed the door behind her, leaning her back against it to keep her distance. She cleared her throat, trying to compose herself. "I don't know if you are who I think you are but–"

"You are Amy." Alex cut her. "The real Amy."

"And you are Alex."

"Yes."

"We need to talk."

"No kidding. Let's start with what's going on and why are you in my body?"

"I don't know." Amy said sorrowfully. "I've been asking myself that for over a week." Alex stood quietly, simply observing Amy and what used to be her body. It was curious but for some reason, she trust Amy. She sighed.

"So I guess you know as much as I do."

"If you know absolutely nothing, then yeah, we are on the same page." Alex chuckled grimly.

"I need a drink." Alex said and Amy observed how her former body moved to the kitchen without her conscience in it. Like she was watching an extremely realistic movie about herself. “Where the hell is the alcohol here?”

"There's a wine cellar under the counter."

"You have been here before?"

"Yeah. Adrian let me stay here for a while last year." Amy looked around nostalgically. "And we celebrated our first victory here."

"I see." Alex returned with two glasses and a bottle of wine, sitting back in front of Amy again. "This has to be the strangest thing I've ever seen in my life." She commented. "And trust me, I've seen a few really weird things."

"Yeah, me too." She took the glass that Alex was passing her taking a big and grateful sip of it, trying to relax her nerves.

"I don't know if you know but I'm a vampire." She thought over her words for a second. "Well, you are a vampire."

"I imagine it." Amy sighed. "After what happened I guess it was the only option."

"Does it bother you?"

"...No. I didn't want to die or leave Adrian and the rest behind." She touched her chest. "There are too many things I want to see and do yet."

"I know the feeling."

“I tried to talk with Adrian about it before everything but it wasn't the right time. The truth is… I wanted to be Turned. Maybe under better circumstances but…” She took a deep breath. "Anyway… Apparently, you have new powers too."

"I do?" Amy put her hand up, the palm facing the ceiling, and concentrated, closing her eyes. After a while, her skin became warmer and Alex gasped. "Oh, I can't wait to test those babies out." She grinned until their reality hit them again. "If we actually manage to get this right."

"We will. We have to."

"What happened to Thomas?"

"Thomas?" Amy paused for a second. "Oh, that white thing." She nodded. "When I woke up, I killed it, with your new powers."

“Finally. That bastard gave us a lot of problems.” Alex left her glass on the table. “Everybody is okay, right?”

"Yes, they are all fine. They were more concerned about you.” She took the bottle, removing the cork again. “Nik came with me, actually."

"Oh."

"You don't sound too happy. Should I tell him to leave?"

"No, it's just… Things are complicated between us right now."

"I see." Amy filled the glasses again. "If it's worth anything, he's been really worried about you." Alex shrugged, looking down at the red wine. "Are you close to him?"

"I thought I was." Her stare became distant like her mind was somewhere else. "But apparently his care has an expiration date." Amy nodded, taking a sip. "How about you and Adrian?"

"We are. I think…" Amy smiled. "...We are kinda dating? Maybe?" She grinned for a moment until her eyes focused on Alex and her smile was gone. She hadn't thought of what had happened here until now. They had kissed? Or maybe more? She couldn't blame him if it was the case, he would have thought it was her, but it would hurt either way.

"I think you should know that nothing happened between us."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I have the feeling that he was wanting to talk about something with me… You… But the second he noticed something was different, he kept his distance." Alex swirled the reminds of wine in her glass, pensive. “I think that, deep down, he knew I wasn’t you.”

“I’m not that surprised, to be honest.” Amy gently chuckled to herself. “Adrian is really perceptive at times.”

“I think he is especially perceptive about you.” Amy drank a sip, covering her smile with the glass.

“Same goes for you and Nik, you know.” Alex bit down her bottom lip, looking a little sad. “And nothing happened between us either. Actually, he gave me a really hard time.”

“He gives everyone a hard time.” Alex stood, getting close to the dark window and looking down to where Adrian and Nik were waiting for them. “He is kind of an ass but his heart is in the right place. Most of the time at least.”

“He also wants to talk with you about something. From the moment I woke up.” Alex nodded absently. “You don’t seem surprised.”

“I’m not. Before Thomas’ attack he…” Alex sighed. “Let’s just say we weren't on the same page.”

“I understand.” Amy also let her gaze wander to wander to the outside world. “Are you ready to go?”

“As ready as I’m going to be.” She took a jacket and they both walked to the hallway, taking the elevator down. Seeingthe woman exit the elevator, the men walked over.

“Everything okay?” Adrian asked.

“Yeah.” Amy smiled at him and Alex cleared her throat.

"I think I should introduce myself. Alex Fontaine. And…" She hesitated before continuing to talk. "...Adrian, I'm sorry that I've lied to you for this past week, I–"

"There's no need for that." His tone was polite and normal, not angered at all. "I understand why you did it."

"Thank you."

"Alex," Nik called her. She didn't say a word, simply watching him with a mix of anger and sadness in her posture.

Amy called Adrian's attention with a discreet squeeze on his upper arm. "Maybe we should give them some privacy." She murmured to him.

"I appreciate it but that's not necessary," Alex said, firmly. "First, I think we should try to figure this out." She narrowed her eyes looking at Nik's eyes directly. "Then we'll see."

"Works for me." Nik agreed. "Ivy is going to join us in a video call. She decided to stay back in NOLA and check some books."

"We can use the conference room for that," Adrian said, guiding the group through the doors to the elevator.

Nik whistled looking around. "Nice setup, man. Are you trying to compensate for something?"

"Nik!" Alex reprimanded him but Adrian just smirked.

"Curious. That was my exact thought about your many weapons." He opened the conference room and gave Nik access to the main computer to call Ivy. Only a minute later, her face popped on the wall screen. After exchanging a few friendly words, she looked straight at the camera.

"I have found a few things about this you all need to hear."

✨️

#choices stories you play #playchoices #choices fanfiction #adrian raines x mc #adrian raines #fanfiction writer #nik ryder x mc #nik ryder #disembodied serie

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ashes-writing · 2 years

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skin | the walking dead ; s.walsh

A/N ; As you all know good and well by now I am one thousand percent not sorry for sharing this. I probably should be, but alas, I'm not, so here we are. This takes place at the CDC and there are vague mentions of Lori. It's barely there, though.

Tag List; @beardedbarba is the only person on my Walking Dead taglist. If you'd like to be added, hit the link below or let me know. Otherwise, I won't tag.

Other Stuff ; tag list || rules - fandoms and some of the characters I write for || requests ; open -headcanons + fluff and smut alphabet letters for any fandom/character but wrestling please and thanks?

I do not consent to having my work reposted elsewhere or reworded, copied/reposted here. Reblogs / likes are nice and greatly appreciated though.

18+ only. Minors, don't you dare, oh my god. Go read fluff. Also, if you're not into shower sex, body fluids, biting/marking, nudity/peeping and p in v sex, you won't like this and should probably just skip to something else. Ignoring this warning is strictly your own fault.

“Only one room left.” Shane said it with a shrug as he gazed down at you. You popped a bubble with the gum in your mouth and stared right back. “Take it. I can sleep on a couch or somethin.” you answer after a minute or two.

“Or,” Shane rubbed his hand over the back of his head as he took a deep breath, “We could share th’ room. Ain’t like it’s a big deal, right?”

Dark brown eyes were searching yours. Probably looking for any sign of fear -or everyone else’s second favorite emotional response when it came to him, loathing. It shouldn’t have shocked him when he found neither emotion displayed in your eyes but somehow, it still managed to.

You licked your lips and tried to swallow down the massive lump in your throat as you shuffled your feet against the hallway floor. You leaned against one of the cool brick walls of the hallway and shrugged. “We could.” you answer after a pause that felt heavy and lasted just a little too long. Your hand tangles in your hair and dark brown eyes follow the movement intently. He’s sizing you up. Waiting for an actual answer one way or another. You laugh softly as you step just a little closer to him. “Am I makin you nervous… Officer?” you toy with the button on his dark blue button up just a little and focus your eyes on the muscular patch of skin left exposed by the fact that he’s left the top two buttons to the shirt undone. Just the faintest hint of coarse and dark chest hair. Just a hint of old ink peeking out that draws your attentive gaze as your tongue softly drags over the outline of your lips.

He takes a breath and it’s shaky. And he snorts at the question you asked seconds before. “Kinda think I’m th’ one makin you nervous…Princess.” he tacks on the term because he knows that princess and any other cutesy little nickname, those tend to get you real irritated, real fast.

It’s a little game you two have been playing since you found the group and were talked into joining up by one of the women, a real nice lady named Carol. You’d come to think of her as the mother you never really got. And if Carol were present to bear witness to the little scene unfolding between you and Shane right now, she would not be thrilled at all.

But it didn’t matter.

The simple fact of the matter was that there was only one room left to sleep in. Either you cohabitate or one of you sleeps down in the lobby where the two kids were camped out due to gaming consoles and all manner of other ways to keep themselves occupied.

And you could’ve easily chosen to do just that. You could’ve but honestly, the thought never really even crossed your mind.

Boldly you look right up at him, twisting hair around your fingertip as he stares right back at you, waiting. A sarcastic gleam in deep dark eyes as he rubs his chin thoughtfully.

“Yeah, that’s a big ol’ firm no… Officer.” you do it right back, referring to him by his job title just like you’ve done since early on in joining the group when you surmised completely on your own that he had to have been in some kind of position of authority just because of the way he carried himself and because there was just something about the man that irked you instantaneous, he didn’t even have to try most of the time. You step towards the door of the room in question and you turn back to look at him as you lean against the cold metal of the closed door. “You comin or not? Because I’m going to take a shower. A real one.”

Shane rubs his chin again. He raises the bottle of Wild Turkey to his lips and takes a sip. You take a sip of your own chosen drink of choice and push open the door, letting it close swift behind you. At first you think for sure he’s chosen to go down and sleep in the community area on a blow up mattress but to your surprise, just as you’ve started the shower and the bathroom adjoining the little bedroom is starting to get real good and steamy, the door to the bedroom outside closes firm. And the lock clicks as the door is locked.

Shane moves around the little room and tosses down the gym bag with the few articles of clothing he’s still got onto the bed closest to a small window that kind of made him think of the cells down at King County Jail for a hot second or two.

He sinks down onto the edge of the bed to sit, his hands braced across his head as he’s bent it down. Taking a few deep breaths because honestly, he had to really stop and think about whether he wanted to spend the next stretch of time immeasurable ahead of you all with you so close underfoot again.

Everything about you has gotten under the man's skin and it’s the one thing he told himself he wasn’t going to allow to happen after the huge shit show with Lori Grimes that still hasn’t quite blown over. It’s an on-going internal struggle because despite telling himself he’s not letting it happen, he was the one who brought you to the group after saving your life in the first place. And for a while there, until you went on a supply run and came back with not only your own damn tent but a pretty damn big machete to use as a weapon, he’d been dealing with the struggle of having you underfoot constantly. Just always present. He’s only just gotten used to being alone again and now, here the two of you were… Sharing a space again.

The running water in the bathroom goes quiet and his head snaps up. He’s looking right at the door to the bathroom when you push it open and wander out, totally nude with wet vanilla scented hair piled up on top of your head.

When you see him, you freeze. He freezes too. And right along with both of you, time and space seems to freeze as well. You palm your face first and then remember to throw up your arms over your tits to at least pretend to have a little decency.

Thing is, you haven’t ever been one to bother with the formality of it. Working a club like you did before the world went to shit got you real comfortable with people seeing you in the flesh and in the flesh only.

Shane coughs and in a hurry, he drops his gaze and his little taunt from the hallway comes rushing back to you. Being the antagonistic type, you smirk. “Now who’s nervous, huh?” you call him out on the fact that you’re totally fine with flitting around the room bare naked and he’s the one looking down and away like he’s never seen a pair of titties in his whole entire life.

When everything about the man screams otherwise. You’d almost bet all the money left unguarded in the United States Federal Reserve that not only has he seen a lot of naked women before, he probably went through the women like a fish in water before the world went to shit. Probably had stupid reasons for ghosting them all and you laugh to yourself quietly about the thought while nodding to the open bathroom door. “Should be a little hot water left.”

“It’s at least 110 out. And yer takin a hot shower?”

“Keep your opinions on my hell water to yourself.” you smirk as you grab the first shirt you find spilled out on the second bed where you’d also dumped your clothing. The shirt is olive green. It’s too big for you, it hangs down to the middle of your thighs.

And it smells just like him. Earthy sweat and just the slightest hint of old detergent from the last attempt at washing clothes down in the quarry pond still lingers. Maybe it’s a power play on your end, maybe it’s the fact that the scent of him is so strong, so masculine that it makes you feel just a hint of safety, but either way, you don’t bother taking the shirt off once you realize what you’ve done.

His eyes are fixed on you, glued to your body. They travel up bare legs and he swallows hard, your eyes fix on the way his throat bobs just the slightest when he does it. He nods to the shirt. “ ‘At one’s dirty, woman.” and he digs around, tossing you his clean one, a simple black tee.

You turn the soft garment over in your hands and you bite your lip. Laugh softly to yourself. While you’re thrown for a loop over the little olive branch in your hand, Shane’s started to strip down himself across the room and it just so happens that you glance up and catch sight of him.

And now you’re the one who can’t seem to swallow down a massive lump in their throat. Now it’s your eyes roaming, taking in the muscles and the way they flex as he stretches his arms and rests his hands against the back of his head.

He just stands there. Can he feel you staring?

The question is answered when he turns to you with a teasing smirk. A wild gleam in dark brown eyes as he nods towards the shower. “I’m goin t’ cool off. Want me to leave th’ door unlocked case y’ need t’ get in, princess?”

There’s something different. Something huskier about the way he calls you princess this time. It brings back the last time he said it in a similar tone, early on. When you first joined the group and you awakened to find your injuries from a run in with another group bandaged and him sitting in an olive colored folding chair with his head down. Until he looked up and right at you.

He was the one who’d saved your life then. Brought you back to the group with him. And until you gor your own tent to sleep in, you’d shared the back of his Bronco with him.

And suddenly, you’re looking at the man in a whole new light. One that has your thighs clenched. Your heart racing just a little as you tug at wet hair and tilt your head just to continue staring. Your mouth opens but closes again. “Uh.” you stammer out after seconds stretch to hours in the blink of an eye somehow, “Could you?” the question comes quieter. A little syrupy toned and you want to kick yourself for it. Now is not the time to flirt, to try to push the man. It’s the end of the world, now is not the time to think with the sudden re-emergence of your sex drive.

But you just can’t help it.

Shane walks into the bathroom and the door shuts behind him. It’s left open a sliver and you notice that he’s taken the bottle of Wild Turkey into the shower with him.

You fall back against the empty bed of the two in the room and throw a hand up to your forehead dramatically. Then you pull yourself up to a sitting position and reach for the black shirt he’d handed you and you tug off the olive colored one you currently wore, tugging down the black one in it’s place.

After a good minute or two of quietly sipping your tequila and staring at that damned bathroom door, you take a few long and very shaky deep breaths and pull yourself off of the bed, slinking over to the door. Stepping into the room.

You can see him through the thin plastic curtain and you lean in the doorway, a leg crossed over the other one and your arms folded against your chest and you just… watch. Your mind racing as you try to find one good reason to stop yourself from what you want to do right now.

You can’t find one. And you shed the shirt, letting it settle on top of the pile of clothing he’d brought in for himself. You tug open the curtain and step in behind him just as he turns around to face you and you reach down, prying the green glass bottle he’d been chugging free from his hand, setting it out of the way of the water in the corner of the shower.

Shane chuckles quietly. Brown eyes flit over your exposed body slow. Lingering.

You take the soap covered cloth from his hand and motion for him to turn away but he doesn’t. He steps closer instead. And with a quiet chuckle, he speaks up in that same husky tone.

“If I’d known y’ were gon do this, darlin..” he gasps as your hand raises and the soapy cloth makes contact with his chest, “Woulda just got in with you like I started t’.”

The confession does make your hand falter in it’s slow journey over his chest and you swallow hard as you try to figure out what to do with what he’s just said. Because this is… Huge. And the ramifications of getting entangled with somebody, especially now when it’s probably the worst idea in the world, especially considering it’s somebody like, well… Him.

But you knew exactly what you were doing when you wandered in, prepared to offer yourself up to take care of him like he took care of you after saving your life and bringing you up to the quarry with him and the others.

There’s really no sense in fighting the magnetism anymore.

Life was too short before and it’s gotten so much shorter since.

You step closer, your soft curves melt against his firm muscles. And you keep working the soapy cloth over the front of his body as he bites back a growl on more than one occasion and stares down at you. Wordless. Quiet. In awe.

“Y’ didn’t have t’ do this.” he finally speaks, his voice is the perfect velvet gravel mix and it goes straight to your core like usual. You shrug, wordless. You motion for him to turn away so you can wash his back and he does, but only after he lets a hand settle against your hip as he squeezes. “Yer playin with fire right now, princess.”

“Am I?” you question. “Maybe I enjoy playing with fire.”

The words and the way you’re being so soft, so.. Gentle with him. That last shred of self control he’s been clinging to for a while now snaps completely and he tries to reign himself in as the soapy cloth moves over his back and you hug against him slightly while soaping him down but no amount of his palms against the wall to brace himself and try to keep himself tethered and keep his hands from everything they actually want to touch… It’s not working.

He turns to face you and pries the cloth free from your hand. Towering over you as the water streams down over you both. His hands are all over you and you’re hauled against his body as his head dips down and his forehead rests against the swell of your breasts and he breathes heavily.

You can feel his cock rise, standing at attention. Pushing into you when he pulls you as close as he can get you while pulling you up his body. “Gonna take real good care of y’, princess.” he groans out against the front of your throat as his teeth scrape against your skin and you dig your nails into his shoulder, your legs squeezing either side of his body after wrapping around his waist, “Fuck.”

And you can look into smoldering dark brown eyes and tell he means exactly what he’s just said. Every word. In every sense it can be taken to mean.

Starting here and now, if you’ll allow him.

And the realization stuns you. Somewhere in everything, in all the chaos and insanity that’s been your life for months by now, you trust him.

Your fingers card his hair as his tongue drags a circular motion around one of your nipples. Between the stubble on his jaws and the necklace around his neck banging against your skin when he moves, you’re whimpering at rough lips against your skin, rough hands as they caress your body and grip, squeeze now and then to mold you against him a little better. The leaky tip of his cock drags against your folds and you shiver violently in his grasp, your cunt soaked and throbbing so fast all you can do is nip roughly at his neck to leave an angry red bite mark against his skin. The bite mark has him laughing, pausing the movement of his mouth over your opposite nipple to gaze up at you and you pout because you’re aching for his touch, the connect you feel when his lips dance over your skin.

The water is freezing by now and he grimaces and reaches out a muscular arm to shut off the shower. Your back is pressed firmly against cold and wet tiles, goosebumps raised to the surface of your skin that you’re not sure are from the cold or just the way his touch feels so damn good.

“Not gon’ last long, princess.” he’s almost apologetic about it and you laugh, the soft sound makes him bite his lip as his mouth crashes against your mouth finally. Frantic, needy. Almost desperate when his lips lock on your bottom lip and catch it between. You manage to mumble that it’s okay and your next words bring a rare grin to tug up the corners of his mouth and he stops, staring at you in awe. Making you grab hold of the back of his head and pull his mouth against yours all over again, greedy. Desperate. Your tongue slips past his lips and his tongue meets it, dominating the kiss in the bat of an eye. The tip of his cock grazes between your folds and you shiver again, moaning out quietly before you can stop yourself.

“Fuck.” he grunts and his fingers dig into your body harsh, “Feels so good.” he repeats what he said to you minutes before, promises to take care of you and you grab his face in your hands. “I know. I believe you.”

You reassure him quietly. The reassurance has him giving you a cocky smirk and his cock pushes into you a little more.

“Next time, darlin.. I’ll taste y’.” he promises in a loud groan against your neck as he buries to the hilt inside you and goes still, searching your eyes to make sure you’re okay and he’s not hurting you. Brown eyes squeeze tight when you start to fuck yourself up and down on his cock after you’ve gotten adjusted to the way he fills and stretches you out. You can feel the tip smashing against your cervix and your nails drag up and down his back and shoulders as his mouth buries against your neck, leaving more bites to litter skin that somehow got forgotten about in his earlier quest to do so.

His name falls from your lips like a prayer, over and over. He’s groaning, growling and swearing with each deeper drive into you, saying your name so loud that you’re pretty sure anyone in either room beside the one you happen to be in can hear him but you don’t care. Both of you are completely lost, caught up in each other. Your stomach coiled tight as you beg for release only to have him coax you back away from the edge in just enough time. His hips beat against your body in a harsh steadiness and you shiver with every graze of those rough hands or lips against your skin.

“Shane,” you beg in a whimper, “Please.” you breathe against the shell of his ear. “C’mon darlin. Let go. I gotcha, promise.” he mutters his permission and your orgasm smashes into you and leaves you clinging. Whiny and needy, desperately fucking yourself up and down on his cock as he holds you against his body with your back against the shower wall and his mouth crashes against your own. “Fuck. Fuckin shit, princess,” he groans in need as your release coats his cock, your walls vising around him to push him headfirst into his own release. It happens without much warning, you can feel the way he throbs as his hips stammer against you and finally come to a stop, his forehead resting against your own and it’s gentle. So is the look in his eyes for once.

Not teasing or irritated, just.. Gentle. Relaxed.

You finally untangle yourself from his body and climb down from his arms and slink over to the towel near the pile of clean clothing. You hold the towel out to him and he takes it, wrapping it around you. After he grabs the second towel and knots it at the waist around his body, he pulls you against him all over again. Rough hands caress your face as he stares down into your eyes.

Neither of you say a word. Neither of you need to but both of you secretly want to.

But life is too short now to make promises. No matter how much you know you mean it.

#shane walsh #shane walsh fanfiction #shane walshxfem!reader #shane walshxfem!reader fanfiction #shane walsh imagine #shane walsh fic #shane walsh smut #//minors dni.#// read all warnings + hashtags c a r e f u l l y #// p in v #// shower sex #// body fluids #// biting and marking #// kissing #// so this came out of nowhere. trust me this is not even remotely close to what I sat down to write for Shane.

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spaghettificationandpretzels · 2 years

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Congrats on the followers! You deserve every one of them!!!

Can I do “You are the bravest person I know” with Jax Teller as angst with a happy ending?

Thank you for your kind words and your request, I hope you enjoy!!!!!

Drabble Masterlist

The sea and all her evils

Contains Angsts with a happy ending, thalassophobia (fear of the ocean), descriptions of drowning, hurt/comfort, protective Jax.

440 Words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed.

Jax helps you face your fear of the open ocean.

"You cannot expect me to get on that boat."

Jax smiled softly, "I know you don't want to but this has to look real or the cops are going to get suspicious. It's only till tomorrow afternoon."

You shook your head, "no, take someone else. I'm not getting on that fucking canoe even if you pay me."

Jax put a hand on your shoulder, "it's not a canoe and Bobby knows what he's doing."

Jax didn't like the look in your eyes, "do you know what the open ocean is like Jax? It's unforgiven and it doesn't care that we have a child at home."

Jax took your arm and sat you down on the picnic table overlooking to dock, "you went cageless diving with Great Whites, how is this any different?"

You took a deep breath, "I'm not afraid of sharks Jax, I'm afraid of drowning in the ocean. Do you know what happens when you drown? Because I do and it's horrible, it's ranked as one of the worst ways to go."

Jax's tone was kind, "you're a great swimmer, you're not going to drown."

You shook your head, "oceans storms can come over before you know it, after that all it takes is the boat going over or taking in water and we're all dead, not to mention how cold the ocean is at night."

"We're not going out that far, you'll be able to see the lights from the docks."

You shook your head, "you think that matters, the amount of hidden debris under the water makes being this close to the docks worse. You think drowning in the ocean with nothing but blackness below you is rough, try being trapped under an old anchor."

Jax chuckled softly, it wasn't condescending, "you wanna tell me where all of this is coming from?"

You shrugged, "I read an old story in college, it was written by a privateer, a pirate who was in three shipwrecks. I had nightmares for weeks and the fear never left." Jax reached across the table and took your hand in his.

"You are the bravest person I know. There's nothing you can't do, and this, will be easy, I'll be by your side as much as I can. Plus, If we go down, you can always use Galen's giant head as a floatation device."

You laughed softly, "thanks Jackson, I love you."

Jax brought your hand to his lips, "I love you too, now put on that nice sun hat and get ready for some fun."

You shook your head, "there will be nothing fun about seeing Galen without a shirt on."

Fin

I really hope you enjoyed!!

#jax teller #Fluff #hurt/comfort #sons of anarchy fluff #sons of anarchy fanfiction #sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy #soa #samcro #charlie hunnam #jax teller imagine #jax teller x you #jax teller x reader #fluff #charlie hunnam imagine #charlie hunnam fanfiction #400 followers drabble celebration

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theblackphoneislife · 5 months

Text

You're here..? (Part two!)

This is part two to my very first post! "You're here..?"

please read the first part before reading this part (the story wont make sense for storyline reasons) and please check the TW's!!!!! On the first part or the tags at the bottom of this post!!

"Wait.." Robin backs up, wiping his teary eyes and looking up at Vance with a small smile, almost mischievous the way he looks into Vance's eyes like he has a plan.

"You're dead, right?" There's an idea in Robin's head, and it makes him smile and turn around to his nightstand, starting to dig through it.

"Yeah..." Vance said with a nod, not really sure why that was a question. "...I'm dead."

He'd shift up from where he sat, watching his friend dig through his nightstand. "What exactly are you doing, Ro?"

"Well..." Robin starts, shaking his head and opening another drawer. "Since you're dead... if I... was… if I was dead. Then.. technically.. we could be together again."

He keeps looking through his drawers, trying to find something, his movements almost desperate.

Vance stiffens at the mention, the possibility that they could become something after he died if Robin followed through."R-Robin... Don't do something stupid." He said, trying to hide the urgency in his voice.

"I'm here now, there's no need for you to... to throw your living life away for me."

He could be a ghost, but Robin was real. Real and alive, his living life still in front of him, and Vance was scared of messing that up for him.

"Vance. A life without you is not a life worth living." Bennett says, his voice rough, he's holding back tears.He keeps searching desperately in his drawers before making his way to his closet and pulling at the floorboards, eventually finding one that popped out with ease.

"...Robin-" Vance started, but he fell short of saying anything else.

He couldn't stop his friend from giving up his future life and becoming something like him.

It's something he'd dreamed of back then, being able to see Robin again...but not by making him give up everything.Vance only nodded his head, moving closer to Robin with as much caution as he could before kissing him on the forehead. "Fine...I still love you, regardless."

Robin stops searching, wrapping his arms around Vance's neck and pulling him down onto the ground next to him.

"You wanna spend my final moments with me?" His voice was a little shaky. He was scared, but he wanted to do this.

Needed to do this.

Vance was worried, but he could see how his friend desperately wanted to be with him after death, and he wasn’t about to break his heart.

“Always.” Vance whispered, leaning closer to the boy as he ran a through the boy’s hair.

“...I’ve always loved you.”Robin takes a deep breath.

"I've always loved you too, Vance." He smiles, enjoying Vance's fingers in his hair before he turns back to the closet, bending down to grab a knife and two bottles of pain Killers.

"You ready, Vance?”

“As ready as I'll ever be.” Vance sighed quietly, pulling Robin in for a very gently kiss, their first kiss, before they move onto what happens in the afterlife. They know its not going to be easy, but at least they have each other.

#robin x vance #robin arellano #vance hopper #cw: gore #death tw #willing suicide #Suicidal! Alive! Robin #Dead! Vance

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sky-squido · 2 years

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K, N, X, Z? ^u^

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

i knew what K stood for before even opening the post. hi silver! hope you're doing well XD

almost perma-death'd hyrule once. it was gonna be a whole huge fic, like a full LU novelization that really convinced you it was going to be a whole big funtimes quest. but it was going to have the MCD tag from the very beginning and a boldface warning that "one of the 9 boys will die and he will not be coming back."

somewhere between the one-half and two-thirds mark i was gonna murk him. it was going to have all the story weight and be a gorgeous scene (on mount satori, blupees and fairies gathering around him, his malice-induced suffering finally relieved when the lord of the mountain takes his life with the touch of the forehead, i even did art of it, i was seriously planning on writing it). and he was gonna be DEAD. like not even a ghost or anything and never brought back. like he was just gonna be GONE.

i was gonna split up his triforce amongst the others, too, with i think sky getting power, legend getting courage, and wind getting wisdom (there would have been a reason they couldn't use it to bring him back and those three would have been the ones he was closest to. he would have given power to sky because he was so sure sky would have the emotional fortitude to handle his death the best and then be proven utterly wrong very shortly thereafter. i also remember legend would have gotten courage because courage was something hyrule knew he would need in the aftermath of his death. i also think two of his spells were tied to each triforce corner).

obviously i never wrote it, and i don't intend to anymore. it was part of a phase where i was like "nobody writes stories where one of the actual main characters (not like a mentor or a clearly death fodder best friend) dies like halfway through and the others have to continue on and finish the journey without them and don't get them back at the end because that's not how real life works." then i realized why. because they're SAD! like clearly i don't mind writing sad things, but the biggest factor that dissuaded me from doing it was the knowledge that i would have to finish the fic without being able to write hyrule. no more lines from him, no more playing with or experimenting with his character—and i couldn't kill any of them, not just hyrule, because i knew, somehow, deep down, that it wouldn't be doing their characters justice to cut them from the narrative. they all either have something vital to contribute or deserve more screentime to give their characters the depth and complexity they deserve. to quote myself in poltea's dms, "I'm grieving for someone I haven't even killed yet!"

without mentioning anything specific to avoid spoilers, i've written character fakeout deaths before and do you know how HARD it is? i've just taken a fully developed, nuanced, interesting character (if someone isn't those things, then it's not even worth pretending to kill them) and deleted my ability to write them! what?! why would i do that! bring them back i have stuff i want them to do and say! their story isn't over!

so yeah. that's the story of the gut-wrenching quasi-grimdark shameless hyrule MCD fic i didn't write.

and JEEZ i was going to spend so much time building up all these relationships at the beginning because i wanted his death to hurt as much as possible. not just a 1k oneshot where a character gets a pretty death scene and the fics ends, but you really become attached to this world and these people.

and that's why this fic doesn't exist. i literally don't think i could write it. i wouldn't be able to. it's so completely different than committing to keeping legend blind in what hyrule hadn't seen. i just. i can't do it. let the record state that i am too much of a softy to write permanent MCD.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

uh. see above? it would destroy me but if someone wrote a full novelization of LU where everyone was given depth and complexity and then legitimately, believably, murked one of the nine halfway through and then sat with that grief and forced the boys to deal with it in all their messy, terrible ways, and then ultimately rise above it and save the world, i would read that and sob a lot and hate you for it but i also think it would be something so incredibly powerful.

oh, yeah, another reason i never wrote permanent MCD hyrule fic is that i've been fortunate enough not to have lost anyone incredibly close to me that i was old enough to remember. i feel like it'd be so far out of my comfort zone trying to do justice to emotions i've never fully felt the weight of. maybe i'll re-evaluate if i ever do lose someone and need to work through it somehow, but for now, this fic idea is perma-benched.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

i also love bullying legend. specifically because i know he can take it. and he's so SASSY. my question is never if legend can overcome something, but just how he'll manage to pull it off and how brightly i can convincingly get him to smile at the end.

i also also... have a new punching bag. kind of? i'll be playing with him eventually and i really wanna see how much fun i can have shoving him around and seeing how he reacts >:3

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

uh. see above 2: electric boogaloo? i actually... *leans forward* conspiratorially.

i like reading mcd fics. but long ones. where characters are actually given time to really deal with their grief. that's why i wanted to write the fic described above and why i've read as many mcu fics as i have.

the only deaths i can't tolerate are deaths of characters who didn't feel fully developed. you didn't kill a person, you killed a decorative wall hanging, calm down.

anyway, that's that. i should have (and 100% did) expect these from silver, the angst gremlin themself XD love ya, nerd.

#squido answers

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textsfromthefifthbasement · 1 year

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Returning the favour!

1, 3, 5, 6, 9, 10, 12, 13, 25, 26, 30, 34, 37, 38, 41, 42, 45, 46 !

💗

(1) What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work?

Probably Unspoken Secrets. It's my most popular fic, it's got fluff, it's got angst, and it's got a sequel.

(3) What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

I don't feel like I have a trope or detail that's super characteristic 😅

(5) What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

I'm just going to talk about my first Dark Week fic from 2021, The Child. I had actually written something like it back when I was 18 and had first read the book, but you know, 2 computers and a hard drive failure later it got lost. I managed to rewrite the fic and majorly improve it for the event.

(6) What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

I think the one fic I did the most worldbuilding for was All the Things Yet to Come. When writing it, I had planned on incorporating the Ratcatcher from the novel into it with the idea that ratcatchers were now very important members of society, but that never happened.

(9) How do you find new fic to read?

I usually check the new fics on AO3 every day and add the ones that interest me to my To Read list.

(10) How do you decide what to write?

I usually decide that through vibes 😂

(12) Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

I think I'd rather not answer questions on things I dislike in fanfic, but usually the things I dislike aren't things to do with tropes.

(13) Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

See above

(25) What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

I usually don't do research for fics. Probably the most research I've done was to play Plague, Inc., while trying to figure out the disease in All the Things Yet to Come, and watching some of Jammidodger's videos on Youtube when writing my latest Trans Erik oneshot and thinking of expanding it into a longfic.

(26) Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

No dialogue! I actually think I've done one of those before.

(30) Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

Yes, but I published it on anon for A Reason.

(34) What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

I usually base things Madeleine says or does after things my mother has said to me before.

(37) Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

Hellfire. It's an E/C oneshot inspired but Eddie/Chrissy from Stranger Things minus major character death. I'm actually planning on writing a sequel soon.

(38) Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

Probably In Your Skin and Blood and Bone because in my opinion, it was a hot mess that I was unhappy with but ran out of time to edit before I needed to publish it for fluff week. I think it did have a lot of appeal because it's an alternate LND beginning type fic.

(41) Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

Honestly, @wheel-of-fish's Unsung and Out of the Woods.

(42) Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

Not on AO3 but I still to this day giggle over @coatandtails reblogging Leave the Past Behind with the tag "moisten the maestro."

(45) What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

Chapter length and dialogue. Conversely, I feel like I regressed in being able to portray characters' inner angst.

(46) Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write?

Computer! And I do feel like I'm more relaxed when writing in my bedroom.

#phantom of the opera #the phantom of the opera

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kyofsonder · 2 years

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Find the Word

I was tagged by @on-noon to find a specific set of words in my WIPs, and tag others to keep the game going. Thank you for the tag, the more times I play this game the more fun I have and the more I enjoy the perspective it gives me on my own writing.

My Words: grow, worse, wind, snow, and wake.

I’ll tag @aohendo, @junypr-camus, @starlightscribe, @did-i-do-this-write, and @marinesocks this time. It's also an open tag for anyone else who wants to join, as always!

Your Words: voice, equal, second, purpose, and greed.

I found grow(s) in an original short story WIP, titled “Kiyo”:

Kiyo herself is pretty small, also like me, but her leaves are strong. They're bright red and her vines are a soft orange, so it's less that she grows like a regular plant and more that she spreads like a flame. She's a little wizened, with some crunchy edges of brown on some of her older leaves and a lot of black in her veins, but her roots keep pushing their way down through the soil. Reaching for water or more soil or whatever it is they find for her. The guy selling all those half-neglected plants hadn't acted like there was anything special about this one in particular, but I haven't heard of plants that look like Kiyo... pretty much anywhere.

I found worse in my novel WIP “To Be Honest”, although it does show up in a scene where there’s (magic-related) self-injury and mentions of blood:

The feeling from earlier is practically screaming at him now, rattling his bones until he thinks the vibration might knock him out. The way David had greeted him. The way his voice has been changing. The fact that Micah hasn't been able to see his face this whole time. The repeated circles when he'd tried to walk. Something is wrong. Micah can feel the magic in his own blood, warning him that if he takes too long to figure this out he'll end up trapped here. Not just here in the woods, but somewhere much worse. He can't control his breathing anymore and every spell he knows is gone from his mind. Alright. Fine. Screw patience, then. The witch takes as deep and steady of a breath as he can manage, wincing each time it catches on the way down to his lungs. Without sparing a second more to think, he brings the knife down on his arm at whatever angle fate decides. If he's lucky, it won't catch any major arteries and he'll be able to bandage himself up later.

I found wind in a draft of a Given oneshot fic “Present Tense”:

He steps toward the water, bracing himself against the wind. It isn't cold, somehow, but he still feels like he should be wearing a jacket of some kind. The sound of the ocean makes it feel like Winter, steady and calm. Rolling like the sand, only stronger. Moving steadily. Making itself known. White noise, washing away the feelings of early afternoon sunlight that had been so vivid just a few moments ago. He finds himself sinking into a crouch, closing his eyes again and holding his knees close to himself. He buries his face into his arms. Ah. He wants to sink into this sound. Let it wash him away, too. Out toward the sunset. The gradually darkening blue and fading light pink of nightfall. The warped yellow and orange of a sun saying its goodbyes for the night. He wants to fall into these soft colors like a fluffy bed and rest.

I found snow in a Sk8 the Infinity fic “True or False”, although it shows up in a scene where Langa is experiencing a type of unreality that might affect some readers:

It's quiet for a while, then Langa adjusts himself so he can speak -- still holding as tight as possible, "Sometimes... I have dreams. They aren't like normal dreams. When I wake up, I can't tell if they were real or not. If I was remembering things that really happened, or dreaming things that never did. It feels like I'm awake and just thinking about real memories, but it also feels like I'm asleep and dreaming. That doesn't make sense, but... the dreams don't make sense. They get... it happened for the first time after I got lost on a mountain as a kid. I was out in the snow all night. I kept thinking that I remembered the way back -- then I'd realize that it was the wrong way. The path I remembered was from a dream. No matter where I walked, it didn't get me home. It got... really confusing. Ever since then, I'll get that way again sometimes. Confused from dreams like that, I mean."

I found wake in my novel WIP “Apricots” when the main character is talking about how long it’s been since his girlfriend died:

Noah doesn't let him get away that easily, "The beginning is the day Jess died, whatever day or month or year it was when that happened. I think you know that much."

"Kade's lost track of time since then, too. More than usual. It feels like he started talking to her ghost months before she died, every time he was at her bedside, like he'd already known it was coming. I guess... when her condition... that's probably why you got mad at me. You knew she would die so much earlier than I did. I still don't think you should have blamed me for not knowing. I did the best I could to take care of her. It's been two months and I still wake up thinking I'll take the bus to her place to... I think I'm still not convinced that she's even gone at all."

Thank you again for the tag – there was a little more original content mixed in with the fanfiction this time! I'm learning to balance how much I write between original and fandom projects, which is encouraging to see when I play this game.

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ilikeyoubetterthisway · 2 years

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Vol. 16 - The Romance Volume: A Ryuumo Analysis

Part 3.

Hi! This is a direct continuation of ch. 70.

So, on the last part we learned that Ryuuji confessed his feelings to Izumo and that the reason he fell in love with her was because he likes her real self, her heart, her soul.

We are then introduced to Lewin by Mephisto being the annoying know it all that he is. (I'm telling ya, he knows shiet we don't and is so annoying seeing him laugh and smirk at us, I wanna kick his face), anyways. Mephisto introduces Lewin and Ryuuji is impressed by his abilities and power. He gets the opportunity to help him sort his stuff out and Rin offers to tag along.

Lewin tells him that he's a genius because of his memory but Ryuuji doesn't think so.

Even if he has a good memory for exorcism, he feels down because he doesn't have an ambition anymore, there's no point for the good memory if he can't use it for something beneficial.

He comes clean about how the ambition of defeating Satan is pointless.

He's blushing in embarrasment while telling Lewin what he realized during the Illuminati Arc, of his ambition having no purpose anymore since everyone already moved forward.

I will have to remind you that all this is still happening on the same chapter where he had the intimate, honest, heart to heart talk with Izumo about their dreams and ambitions, the same day, just like three hours later. We can safely assume he still has that recent conversation in his mind while he's spilling all the beans to Lewin.

If we remember what was said during that conversation, Izumo has nothing else to do now, her only goal is simply to become an exorcist, she has no reason to have an ambition, she got nowhere else to go and lost everything, but for Ryuuji is another case: he thinks he needs a reason, a purpose, an "ambition".

Just like how he tells Lewin that an ambition becomes the strenght to move forward.

But Lewin laughs at him and tells him he has everything backwards, using the great examples of "do you need an ambition to eat or take a shower?"

Ryuuji gets embarrassed and asks him what is his reason to become an exorcist. Lewin, after playing with him a little, answers him honestly with the following sentences, that if we follow up with the Ryuuji and Izumo conversation and storyline it would go like this:

He already has his reason to do things, is just that he hasn't realized it yet. He's only seeing the surface of it (the 'gotta rebuild the temple', 'gotta reunite my family', etc), but after stripping the many layers of his reason, his 'ambition', he was left with nothing else but love.

On a surface level you could say he was doing it to reunite and rebuild Myo Dha, on a deeper level he was doing it for the love he has for his family.

The same reason Izumo became an exorcist: for the love she had for her little sister, for her family, the same reason as him. That's the reason he fell in love with her: because of her heart, her soul, her real self. They both share the same core reason for doing things: for love.

That's why he begs Lewin to take him as his apprentice: he has never had so much clarity in his life, about such deep topics (the future plus romance), but what Lewin simply did was describe his current situation, lay bare in front of him his reason and Ryuuji was able to realize it all by himself.

This is what a mentor, a guide, a teacher should do.

He didn't give Ryuuji his reason, he helped him find it.

That reason being:

Love.

Something that was established since he was a child, with him feeling angry at the disrespect and mistreatment his family and MyoDha received for the consecuences of being burned by Satan.

The same reason Izumo shares with him, the one we see explicitly described and mentioned in the culmination of her arc.

With her repeating how much she actually loved them (her friends, her family, her familiars, the young lady that tried to help her), and would do anything for them, but because of the circumstances she was surrounded with and was forced to face...

Izumo, as an 11 year old child, took the hard decision of building up walls around her heart to try to protect herself from going through the pain and suffering of having people she loves and trusts being ripped away from her and turning against her, because trusting others is what led her to have her little sister being taken away from her arms, to have her family broken apart.

The decision she learned she didn't have to do ever again, now that she has friends that would do anything to help her.

Ryuuji was able to realize that they both shared the same reason to do the things they were doing, the reason he inadvertenly ended up loving from Izumo, the reason both share in their hearts, which is:

Doing it all for love.

He blushes, as Lewin uses the word "like" for his reason to become an exorcist, when he connects everything about himself and his real reason for doing things.

He's connecting the last part of Lewin's small list to himself and Izumo, of how the reason he was doing things was because of his love for the people close to him, the same reason as Izumo, as well as it being the same reason that he liked about Izumo and made him blush for her behind the hospital room and subsecuently confessed it to her in the balcony.

He found his reason to do things (love),

which he shares with this girl (being love as well),

and that's the reason he likes her (that he also confessed to her).

Ryuuji and Izumo do everything for love. And is something they have noticed and like from each other, this last part at least is true from Ryuuji's side, we still need to see Izumo liking that side of Ryuuji even though she already knows that he cares deeply about his family and friends, and she will do anything to protect him and her friends from the people who wish to hurt them.

And just to end this chapter, the last thing Ryuuji thought was this:

Remember how he, from the beginning of the manga, was hellbent against wanting anything related to love? Anything related to relationships, girls, dating, romance..?

And now he ends his part of the chapter with such a classic trope of the guy that was unaware of his own feelings now facing and realizing them in such an impactful way while still not completely understanding them because is such a new topic and a foreign feeling for him.

When we know that he never had any interest nor actual romance experience before (aside from love letters), he's in shock and completely baffled by his own reactions and feelings, and he's now coming to terms with the fact that he may actually have romantic feelings for a girl.

This is the trope of the guy that has been slowly and unconsciously developing feelings but was too dense to realize it, and after being confronted by them again and again and again and again, suddenly has no choice but to face them, acknowledge that he may in fact have romantic feelings for a specific girl. The one he just told he "liked better this way" three hours earlier, in an honest, sincere way.

And now had a potential teacher, someone with more maturity with ages of experience in topics about self discovery, help him realize by pointing out (in an unintentional way), not just his reason to do things, but also the fact that he had actually been harboring feelings for this girl.

It all led to Ryuuji realizing that he had feelings for Izumo.

A good writer, storyteller, mangaka knows how to imply things in indirect ways, specially when it comes to romance and even more when is a shonen manga in which romance has to be pretty subtle. Here we were directly being told about Ryuuji's reason to do things (love), but it could also be inferred to him realizing his feelings for Izumo. But hey, don't take my word for it, you can simply read the entire manga again, focus on Ryuuji's interactions with Izumo and make something out of it, the easiest and quickest example is on this same chapter, just go to the beginning and see their whole love declaration. That should be enough to at least make you start thinking about the romantic undertones between them.

Anyways,

This whole chapter was about Ryuuji telling Izumo that he liked her better this way, the thing he liked about her was the reason he, hours later, found out was the same reason he did things for and is also something he shared with the same girl he confessed his feelings to.

Everything is interwined, these two are connected in such a deep, intrincate way with internal and external factors that both share and have noticed in each other, from physical to emotional aspects, that is seriously amazing, satisfying and beautiful seeing how their relationship improved and grew to the point of reaching this new stage with a romantic light now shining on it.

Thank you for reading this far!! <3 See you in the next part~!!

#ryuumo #ryuji x izumo #bon x izumo #bonizumo #bomizumo #ryuji suguro #izumo kamiki #aoex #ao no exorcist #ao no exorcist manga #lewin light

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camaro-and-smokes · 1 year

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Is She For Real?

Chapter 16: I'm Flying Home for Christmas

Links to other chapters on tumblr on CH 1 >>

Read on AO3 >>

Tags: Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove, original female character Emma, emotional hurt/comfort, Christmas

Summary: It's 1999. Steve's about to fly back home from a work trip on Christmas Eve, but of course things aren't going to plan.

Author's notes: So, I decided to add the inevitable Christmas chapter :)

::::::::::

Steve had just gotten two chapters in the book he bought from a kiosk at the airport when the announcement came.

"Oh, come on!" he huffed when he heard that his name was mentioned among the ones denied boarding and should contact the ticket counter.

"Listen, all I'm interested in is getting to San Francisco sometime tomorrow. I don't even care about the time," he told the clerk at the counter. "I know that this is the worst time of the year, but if there's any chance..."

"Yes, I understand that, sir," she replied patiently. "But all the flights from this and the neighboring airports are fully booked until the day after tomorrow. The earliest flight to San Francisco I can get you on leaves on the 26th."

Steve rubbed his face with his hand. "I have a little girl at home. She's three, and I have missed every Christmas with her because I've been travelling for work over the holidays. If it was just me, I'd take the package and the hotel you offer and be on my way already. But I want to be at home tomorrow for her, not for me. Are you certain that there's absolutely no chance for me to get on any flight?"

"Sir, I understand that this is most inconvenient, and I'm so sorry that you can't get to your little girl. I checked the flights, but everything is booked full."

Steve sighed, defeated. "Ok. I guess I'll then take the offer of the hotel for two nights and the first flight out on the 26th."

Steve sat on the only empty seat he could find close to the counter and took out his mobile phone. This Christmas would probably be Emma's first. She would have any actual memories of - and he was going to miss all of it. Telling Billy about him being stuck in Chicago was one thing, he understood things like this happened. But breaking it to Emma, that he wouldn't be there on Christmas - his own heart broke for the thought alone.

"Hey, babe! Are you boarding yet?" Billy asked when the call connected.

"I wish. The flight was overbooked, and guess who was denied boarding."

"Well fuuuck," Billy sighed.

"Dadda, no cussing!" Steve heard Emma scold Billy with the tiny lisp she still had.

"Sorry, Emma!" Billy replied to her. "I've been talking about cursing with her a lot lately. It's a nasty habit. I don’t know where she has picked it up."

Steve snorted and smiled. "Yeah, where indeed, I wonder."

Hearing Emma's tiny voice and thinking that he was missing this step of her development, too, made Steve swallow hard to keep his emotions in check. Even though he was happy that his work made it possible for Billy to stay home taking care of Emma and they didn't need to touch the fund—his fund—they'd planned to keep untouched for her college, moments like this made him question if it really was worth it. He missed so much when he was away. He took a deep breath. "So anyway, I'm stuck in a hotel for two nights because the first available flight is on Sunday. Every flight is full."

Steve heard shuffling and a door closing.

"Sorry, I just had to come to another room. I don't want Emma to overhear anything accidentally. So, you're stuck there until Sunday?" Billy asked.

"Yeah. No way to get from here to anywhere until then. I already have a ticket though. The flight leaves at four in the morning, so I'm there first thing."

"This sucks ass. Emma has been so much looking for Christmas. And she hasn't talked about anything else today but you coming home."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I took her to see Santa in the mall to distract her, at least for a moment, and when he asked what she wanted most for Christmas, she said that she just wanted daddy to come home. I fucking choked at it and had to bite my tongue so hard it bled."

Steve could feel tears stinging his eyes, and he squeezed them closed. "I'm resigning. I mean it. This work has robbed me way too many important dates and development steps just this year alone."

”Babe, Steve,” Billy said softly, ”we’ll talk about it on Sunday. We'll come pick you up from the airport."

Steve couldn't say anything. He would've just burst into tears, so he just nodded and swallowed.

After waiting for a while, Billy spoke. ”Do you want to break it to Emma yourself?”

Steve took a few deep breaths. ”Yeah.”

Steve heard the door opening, and Billy calling for Emma to come to the phone.

The girl let out a high-pitched squeal and ran to the phone. ”Daddy?”

”Yes, firefly, daddy is here.”

”Dadda took me to the mall, and there was Santa!” Emma said.

”Really? Did you talk to him?”

”Yes,” Emma replied. ”He asked me what I wanted for Christmas.”

”Wow. What did you tell him?”

”Daddy to come home,” she answered after a moment of silence.

Steve couldn't hold back a tear falling on his cheek. ”Firefly, daddy wants to be with you tomorrow, but I can't.”

”But you promised!” Emma whined, clearly upset.

"Yes, I know I promised. Emma, do you remember when we talked about how daddy has to fly to get home?"

"Yes," she replied quietly.

"Well, sometimes daddy can't fly. And now that happened. And daddy can't drive either, it would take too long. Daddy has to wait until the day after Christmas to come home."

”But you promised!" Emma replied with a sob.

Steve had to squeeze his fingers to his eyes to keep more tears from falling. ”I know firefly. I'm so sorry I can't keep that promise. But it's just one extra day! And we can then have our very own Christmas. You'll get presents on two days. How about that, my fairy queen?”

”But it's not the same!” Emma shouted.

Steve heard the receiver clang against the wall as Emma dropped it and stomped away, crying. With her short temper, Emma was definitely Billy's daughter, even though they weren't blood.

”Hey,” Billy said to the phone a moment later. ”I'm sorry, babe. She was just...”

”Yeah, I know,” Steve interrupted Billy. ”I was really looking forward to being there too.”

They spent a moment in silence.

”I'll call you again later from the hotel, ok?” Steve said.

”Yeah. Baby...it sucks, but it's just one day. I'll talk to her. I love you.”

”I love you too, firecracker.”

Steve stared at the phone in his hand. This had to be the worst Christmas ever. Missing it when it was just him and Billy—it was different. But missing it with Emma, who had visibly grown both physically and mentally from the last time he'd seen her every time when he stopped by home—he had missed so many steps with her and it broke his heart. And now having to break his promise of being home by Christmas after he'd specifically told her he would be home then.

”I'm sorry, but I couldn't but to overhear your call,” the elderly woman who was sitting next to Steve said. ”You missed your flight?”

Steve glanced at her. ”Well, kind of. The flight fully booked and because I arrived among the last ones, even though I was on time, they denied me from boarding. Two nights in a hotel it is. At least there's a proper breakfast tomorrow.”

"So, you have a daughter?" she asked.

Steve smiled. "Yeah. She's three." He let out a sigh. "I was supposed to be home for Christmas for the first time since we had her. She was really looking for it. And me too. But I guess there's Christmas again next year. I just hope that my work allows me to be home then."

"Oh, that's unfortunate. It's always double disappointment with small children. My husband used to travel a lot for work too when our children were small, and he missed Christmases as well. And then when he finally didn't have to travel anymore, the kids were already the age they didn't care for Christmas that much."

Steve nodded. "I probably have to start looking for new options for work so that this doesn't happen ever again. This is the—excuse my language—shittiest feeling ever."

"My husband used to say the same thing," the lady said compassionately. "He couldn't do anything to it, though. We had four kids, and he had a good health insurance through his work, so we didn't have any options, really." She paused for a moment. "If you can do that, you really should. Kids are small only for a limited time."

"Yeah... And we don't even know if we can have more kids."

"Oh? How so?" As soon as the lady had said the words, she must've realized what she had said, for she hurried to add: "Uh, I'm sorry, you don't have to answer. It was rude of me to pry."

"No, it's fine. We're not just your average pair who have kids. My partner is a stay-at-home-dad, and I try to do my best to allow him to do that."

"Oh. Well, I can imagine it is different for sure to have kids in that setting. Is your daughter yours or his?"

Steve smiled, happy for the distraction. "She...Emma is adopted." He took out his wallet and dug out a photo of Billy and Emma to show her.

Seeing the photo always made him smile. He had taken it when they had visited Hawkins the previous winter. Billy was holding Emma on his arm like a rag-doll. Both of them had the reddest cheeks, and they were smiling their widest smiles. Both of them were also snowy because Billy had just moments before thrown Emma into the high pile of soft snow he, Billy and Emma had collected together in the yard. Steve had pushed Billy into the pile next to the giggling girl because Billy had done that to her. And then he'd taken the photo after he'd helped them get up. And then, after taking the photo Billy had given Emma to him and he hadn't realized why, Billy had dropped a fistful of snow inside his jacket collar as a payback.

The photo was perfect, and he had ordered extras of it to have one in his wallet, one in his suitcase and one on his office desks at home and at work. Billy had laughed that they should get a professional photographer to take a photo of all of them together and put that on his desk—at least at work. But he had replied that the photo had what he had signed for and not for plastic smiles in a perfect lighting.

"Oh my, she's cute! And this is your partner?"

"Yes. We've been together for just a little over fourteen years now."

"He's very handsome. And so are you, but, you know..."

Steve laughed. "None taken. I know he's a catch. I'm lucky to have him."

"And he stays at home and takes care of your daughter? Like a stay-at-home-mother?"

"Yes. He's actually a really talented car mechanic who specializes in classic cars, but he has taken it as his job to make a decent human being out of our daughter now. I try to help the best I can, but I'm away a lot and yet he's doing such a stellar job that I can't but admire him." Steve smiled and ran his thumb over Billy's face on the photo gently. "He didn't have the easiest start in this world, but you couldn't tell that when you see him with her. It used to be me who kept things running, but now it's the opposite. With Emma...he practically raises her, makes sure she has everything she needs, he organizes all kinds of things for her to do, they have frequent play dates and he's obviously charmed all the mothers on our street with Emma because there's always someone willing to take her over if we want to go on a date or something whenever I’m at home." Steve paused. "He has a network of people willing to help and I do not know how large the network actually is," he added, laughing. "There's just always someone who he can call and get help. I bet, though, that he does the same for others too when I'm not around. Another thing I never knew he was capable of before we got Emma."

The lady looked at Steve, seeing the wide smile on his face. "You must love him a lot?"

Steve took a deep breath. "Oh yeah, I do. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. He's a handful though," he ended, making the lady laugh.

"Well, the best ones are, right?"

"Yeah," Steve replied, chuckling. "Too bad I have now two of them. But I wouldn't change anything. I love them to bits."

They were silent for a while.

"It must have made your life a lot easier to have those mobile phones?" the lady asked, pointing to Steve's phone that still was in his lap. "Being able to call from almost wherever, right? I suppose they work everywhere?"

"Well, they work where there's network available. So no, they don't work absolutely everywhere. Not yet, at least. But in most cities, yes. And I mostly travel between cities, so it's not an issue. And yes, it has made a difference, especially in the very beginning, when my partner wasn't yet fully trusting himself being able to keep Emma alive."

"He seems to have done a good job."

"Yeah. He's amazing. And Emma adores him, just like he adores her." Steve smiled. "And she's even so much like him and they're not even related but through adoption. Both hotheads, and emotional. We use a truckload of tissues a year."

"But that's not a bad thing at all! Where else you can show emotions but at home where it's safe to do so?"

"You're right. Well, Billy's childhood home wasn't safe, and he learned to show emotions only when he was with me. All my jacket pockets are full of tissues." Steve smiled again and took a tissue packet out of his pocket. "You never know with my hotheads when the tears fall, so I always come prepared."

The lady laughed. "You are a very devoted husband, I can tell. So, do you just talk on the phone when you're travelling?"

"Yes. Well, sometimes when I'm stationed somewhere for a week or two, my partner might send me a home video to watch. They make these videos where Emma presents her own show. It's dancing or singing, usually both, and then she always wants him to join. So then they goof around and dance and sing together."

Steve's face softened as he thought of the latest video he'd watched at home. He'd had a horrible jetlag and he couldn't sleep, so he'd been watching one of the latest home videos late at night. In the video, in between the dancing and singing and overall shenanigans, Billy turned the camera to himself. He smiled his widest smile, the one he knew was like kryptonite to Steve, and said: "Babe, if you're watching this alone at night, please come to bed, next to me. You don't have to sleep, just be with me. I miss you." Steve had acted at once, turned the TV and VCR off, walked upstairs and crawled into bed, curling around Billy. He hadn't been able to sleep, but he'd been close to Billy, trying desperately to pay back for all the times he hadn't been there.

Memory of that time made Steve's heart ache, and the lump that had melted a little over the chat with the lady returned to his throat. "It breaks my heart that I can't be with them on Christmas," he said with a cracking voice.

The lady looked away for a moment. Then she patted Steve's leg. "Listen. I suppose you're going to San Francisco too?"

Steve nodded.

"My children live far and they weren't able to come visit me this Christmas. They have their own things to do. And my husband died two years ago. Which is why I'm here. I was visiting a friend of mine who's in the hospital. I have no one at home waiting for me. But you do. I have a ticket for that flight, and I want you to have it. I could do two nights in a four-star hotel with full upkeep."

Steve looked at her, surprised. "But what about your...if you have a caretaker or your medicines or...I can't take your ticket!" he stuttered.

"Young man. There's no one who visits me often. I have enough tablets with me to last for another week. I'll manage more than better. But you need to be at home for Christmas. So, come, let's transfer the ticket to you."

She got up, leaned on her cane and started walking towards the gate with her roller bag.

Steve was stunned. He sat in his seat for a moment, but got over the initial shock of his luck changing, and finally followed her.

"Yes?" said the clerk on the counter.

"I'd like to volunteer to take the next flight so that this gentleman can get to San Francisco by today," the lady told her.

"Umm, we can't really just decide who gets the free seat..."

"Young lady. This man has an important job he needs to be doing tomorrow. Being a father. His little girl is waiting for him to come home after a long time of being apart. Are you sure you want to deny that from a..." she turned to Steve, who heard the discussion and just showed three fingers from his left hand to her. "...from a three-year-old? It's their very first Christmas together. He must get on that plane."

The clerk looked at her for a while, then at Steve, pondering. After a while, she sighed. "Alright. But don't you tell anyone on board I did this," she said as she exchanged the tickets for both the lady and Steve.

Steve looked at the ticket in his hand, still not believing what had happened. He looked at the lady, who he had helped to return to their seats to wait for an assistant to help her get to the hotel.

"I really don't know how I can ever pay back to you. Words seem so inadequate, and since you won't accept money... Allow me and my family at least take you to a dinner when you're back home."

"Well, I might just accept that," she said, smiling, and squeezed Steve's hand.

The last announcement for boarding sounded from the speakers above their heads a moment later.

"Well, it's time to get on the plane then. Have a very merry Christmas," Steve said and started towards the gate. He took his phone out and dialled Billy's cell.

Billy answered almost immediately.

Steve smiled. "Guess what, babe. I'm coming home tonight after all. The last call just came and I'm walking to the plane right now."

"What? How?"

"There was this elderly lady..." Steve said and turned to look back at the waiting area - and his heart fell.

There was a group of people around the lady, trying to get her to respond to their calls. Her head was hanging against her chest and all colour had vanished from her face.

"Babe? Is everything ok?" Billy asked when Steve didn't continue.

"Uh...I don't...I-I don't know," Steve stuttered. "The lady, she gave me her seat...I think she had a seizure. She's sitting unresponsive where I just left her. I walked away from her literally just five minutes ago."

"Baby, if there are people taking care of her... There's nothing you can do to help her. You're not a doctor."

"I know...I just...She gave me her ticket..."

"Babe, she gave you her ticket so that you could get home to us tonight?"

"Yeah, she did," Steve replied absentmindedly, his heart tearing into two for the need to see if the lady was ok and hurrying to the plane.

"Steve. She probably would've had the seizure in the plane if she was there. Now people can help her easier."

"I know..."

"Baby,“ Billy said softly. “Maybe it was her Christmas present to you?”

“Yeah.” Steve took a deep breath and turned around and walked past the gate, showing his ticket to the clerk. "Yeah, I'm coming home, firecracker."

"The best Christmas present anyone could give us, our family, babe. We'll be at the airport waiting for you."

The moment Steve walked through the doors to the arrivals hall in San Francisco, he spotted Billy and Emma. She was sitting on Billy's shoulders holding a red placate with Steve's name and hand-drawn reindeers and stars on it.

When she saw Steve, she started chanting: "Daddy! Daddy!"

Billy let her down and took the placate letting her to run to Steve.

"Hey firefly!" Steve said as he scooped her into his arms and hugged her tightly. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you, daddy! Dadda missed you too."

"Did he?" he asked with a smile.

Emma nodded eagerly. “Daddy, I've been a really good girl. Do you think I will get a lot of presents?”

“Well, I don't know. That's up to Santa, isn't it?”

Steve walked to Billy, with Emma sitting on his other arm and pulling his flight bag behind him. Steve let go of the bag and wrapped his freed arm around Billy's waist, pulled him tightly against him, and gave him a kiss straight on the lips.

When Emma decided that his daddies showing affection to each other was enough—which was almost instantly—she grabbed Steve's cheeks and pulled his face away from Billy's, and hugged his neck tightly again. “I really missed you, daddy,” she whispered into Steve's ear.

“Yeah, I really missed you too, Emma.”

#harringrove #harringrove fanfiction #steve harrington #billy hargrove #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove redemption #is she for real #suometar writes #emotional hurt/comfort

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