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dropthedemiurge · 4 months

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Got prompted by @pinkkop but also partially this might end up as the controversial Thai BL post because the range of characters I'd defend with the passion is very wide for me:D

8 BL BOYS I WILL THROW HANDS FOR

Uea (Bed Friend)

This show isn't jokingly called 'A Tale of 1000 Traumas' for no reason, I mean – there is only so much one young adult can go through, and Uea has been through... well, almost everything. Tagging hurt/comfort fics on AO3 will result into red triggers all around. What fascinates me in this character is his resilience, too. He managed to go through everything with the sheer will power and knowing his own worth, what he deserves and what he does not. I am so glad the show made an active choice to send him to therapy and give him a considerate and loving boyfriend! He really needs both.

Sky (Love in the Air)

Again, no surprise that everyone would want to protect Sky. The acting was also chef's kiss in this show, I know I shouldn't be but I absolutely enjoyed seeing Sky getting triggered and sent to the red-lit room in his mind because this was pure cinematography, but irl I would just hug Sky with consent and never let him go. And kick Gun until he never rises up again too. I think Rain should've been given full freedom to avenge for his best friend. But this is also why I'm writing all these skyrain fics – because they are safe space for each other and I want to keep seeing it.

Rain (Love in the Air)

Ehem, like I said– the show has not declared it loudly but he's one of the most ADHD characters in Thai BLs if I ever saw one. He does not deserve to be mocked for his struggles and airheadness. I wish we saw more of him playing into his strengths beside taming a dom, instead of being infantilized by the show sometimes. Don't ask me to dive into full analysis though, I only could watch the PayuRain half of the show once so I'm going off vibes I remember, but I absolutely adore Rain and love reading fics that focus on his ADHD headcanon and how others understand and help him. And also those platonic BDSM tendencies he has with his best friend Sky.

Kawi (Be My Favorite)

For this guy, I would not fight the show or narration because they treated both characters and viewers with care, gentleness, wise teaching and love (Max is a harsh brat but that's his personality). I would actually fight the fandom: from people who hate-watched this show and refused to acknowledge it was amazingly done further than 'i might've liked it but ew screw this actor and novel the show was inspired by amiright don't judge me for liking it jk lol' to some individuals who missed the beautifully developed and portrayed close bond (aspec on at that, I'll stay firm) that spread across >10 years and different timelines and reduced Kawi to immature whiny weirdo who's scared to fuck Pisaeng ten times a day instead of one, idk. This show is a gem with many life-lessons and Kawi has one of the strongest and fascinating character development in Thai BLs that I've seen. Hands are being thrown.

Boston (Only Friends)

The creators of the show said the series didn't have any intentional message, but considering how many long discussions and poured out frustrations we had with some people, Only Friends definitely did Boston wrong. So what if he's a proud slut, should the show punish him for it while praising 'righteous' characters high on their horses? I don't think so. My guy was constantly filmed illegally and threatened by his hookups and friends, he's very hesitant about falling in love but he tried his best with clearly spoken offers, poly views and limits. I also see Boston kinda neurodivergent and/or demiromantic based on many lines he said about himself and his own view of people and relationships in the series. Nick might not be fully compatible with him, and I would throw hands for both of them, but if those two would communicate better, there would be no need for the OOC "twist" at the end. Their story could be beautiful, sad and realistic, instead Boston being kicked down in the street dirt by everyone after opening up about his heart and fears made me angry.

Akk (The Eclipse)

These descriptions just keep getting longer and longer? Oops... I don't think I need to explain the desire to protect Akk – this guy has not stopped crying since a mischievous and passionate newbie managed to break through his 100m thick wall of composure, pokerface and sheer will to survive. And also through all the manipulation Akk faced from the people he looked up to. Akk and everything that he went through managed to rip my heart out, and I'm not kidding. If you're repressed, oppressed and/or struggling with money, desire to make your parents proud and can't help but feel 'disapproved' feelings for someone – meet Akk, he's very relatable. I'd protect him and you too.

Thua (The Eclipse)

*clears throat* I did say this post would get controversial. I can and I will consider 90% of the people who hate Thua as lacking media literacy :D But without getting into useless fandom discussions, Thua is a poor teenager that needs love and support to be able to find himself and his own voice. He's stressed out by a harsh step-father, constantly facing homophobia and mocking in school, has suicidal intentions and the only good friend who opposed homophobic students and teachers, who showed him safe space and helped reach out to his mother, encouraged him to speak out loudly... went behind everyone's back, started dating the main "bully" of the school who threatened every queer for months and decided to support him while silencing students' and Thua's voices. At least that's what Thua experienced from his POV. Would you throw hands? Thua did, and while I may not agree with how he handled the situation, I can't hate him. He finally stood up for himself and his own, tried to change the system, and I'd fight Suppalo school for him too.

Black (Not Me)

There's someone who doesn't need my protection at all! A second before turning into bloody merciless activist-fighter who doesn't shy away from murdering capitalists and cops, I would still want Black not to think he's better off alone. While antagonistic sexually-tense exchange of comas with his ex-best friend can count as one of the most delicious type of romance that happened in subtext not text, he still deserved to seek solace in his ex-girlfriend and (ex? they were so close, why Gram does not care about him at all when he returns? we'll never know) other activist friend's company. Also, fighting with his life to change something in how the country works and hearing 'nah, your twin is better, he knows how to fight with social media so we achieved more with him than with you' from his mentor and Black deciding that he should again ditch everyone he cares about...noo:( I need spin-off about him where he gets everything he really deserves.

#I think I could've picked up 2 more but I can't think of anyone else right now #writing these 8 has already filled me with fire xD #thai series #thai bl #gmmtv #let's say pat and pran are the 2 left and i won't need to explain anything #dropthemeta

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cinnamon-bunni · 2 years

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alright lets go time for some of my aspec headcanons because, sorry to break the news to you, but they're all aspec. all of them. Also this is just my headcanons you hear me headcanons so like don't send hate or whatever. it's dumb and you'll look kinda pathetic tbh.

Also while writing this I was reminded on why i don't make headcanon lists anymore: they took too much time and I could be doing something better, like writing fics lol Anyways i really hope y'all enjoy this, once again just my hcs, but i couldn't get this idea out of my idea. (also tagging @ohheyitsyouagain for telling me to do this and also like helping me realize that boy all of them are like aspec lmao) Without further ado....

~~Aspec Headcanons for the OM! Boys~~

Lucifer:

This demon could not care less about romance

For a while he just simply chalked it up to not having enough time: having work to do for Diavolo and taking care of his idiotic brothers really is a 24/7 job

But when his brothers (Asmo and Mammon) set him up on a blind date, he realized he just...didn't care for it

He felt very detached from the whole dating and romance scene, so he doesn't dabble in it. Simple as that

He doesn't really care for labels. He just knows that he doesn't want to have a romantic relationship, and that's all that matters

He once mentioned it off-handedly to Asmo, and the younger cried

Lucifer had no idea why--it wasn't that big of a deal--but he still comforted him

Asmo was quick to tell him that he was just so happy to feel seen

And Lucifer...wasn't sure how to respond to that

He simply comforted him and told him to go rest

But at least Asmo seemed happy about the little piece of information he gave

But whatever made his brother happy made him happy, so. yeah.

Romance is just a very weird concept for Lucifer in general

He realized that he doesn't know much about it and then from that realized he doesn't understand it

Something Lucifer doesn't understand? Impossible. So he just pretends that that's not the case and goes about his day

he doesn't think too hard about it

Mammon:

Similar to Lucifer, he too does not understand romance

Don't get it wrong! He wants to settle down and find someone nice to date and do all that romance-y stuff, he just...doesn't really know how

He tells himself he's just really picky with who he goes out with. And that's because he is

Yeah, he's pretty picky. And with the people he does like, he tends to accidentally come off on the wrong foot with his tsundere vibes he gives and actions he does

So it's rare for someone to like him, and even rarer for him to like them back in that way

Stemming from that, he just isn't too big with sex

He definitely probably tries to play off on how he of course has a big body count, he's slept with so many succu- and inncubi

In truth he doesn't like to sleep with someone he doesn't know. He needs to go on a few dates before doing something as intimate as that

And sometimes...it feels a bit too intimate. Sometimes he just freezes up, and he feels so bad about it too

Why is it that some days he's completely fine with the idea of sex, but on other days he would rather have to deal with Lucifer when he's pissed than have sex or even think about sex? Was he that messed up and weird?

It's something he takes a bit of time to come to terms with; he deals a bit with some internalized aphobia, but he soon learns to be happy with who he is

Leviathan:

*self projects so hard*

This boy can fit so much internalized aphobia it's insane

He's always hated sex and the idea of sex. Which was weird already

Why was he so weird? Why couldn't he be like every other normie and just enjoy it? He watches....hentai...and has no problem with that and...getting off. But the idea of sex just put him off so much

When he thought about it for more than a second, he felt so uncomfortable with it. The idea of being so close to someone, the sweat, moaning, skin-to-skin contact, so much touching....

It grosses Levi out so hard

And don't get him started on romance

He's always hated watching the protagonist get the girl in the end. Main part of why he struggles to watch romance animes

He just assumed that it was his Sin acting up. Why did all the normies get the girl, but not him? Why couldn't he get someone like that?

But he also detests the idea of dating someone

Why can't he just be normal? Why does he have to be even weirder and make an even bigger gap between him and normies?

He just stews in internalized aphobia while he distracts himself by playing games that aren't romance-orientated

And if they do have romance, he just. decides to ignore it

But he's just so sad and takes him so long to learn to be okay with who he is

*also if you wanna read more about this go read my fic about him being extremely aroace please and thank you :))))*

Satan:

Oh how he hates unnecessary sex scenes with a passion

It's one of his biggest pet peeves, actually (well, he has many pet peeves, but this is definitely up there on the list)

But sex scenes in general he hates

Yes, he understands that sometimes they're important. They might not move the plot along, but it is something people do. They do it to show how much they love the other person they're with, and it's just something people do even if they aren't in love

Doesn't mean Satan has to like it though

He hates reading it. He often skips the parts too. Books that don't have sex scenes are by far his favorites

Even ones that allude to them make him feel very Icky and Gross. He hates it and gets very angry over it

He just. can't deal with it. He is very much repulsed by sex and hates it with a passion

But also realizing than he's asexual felt...freeing in a way

He immediately felt so much better that he had a label for what he felt

He finally felt happy about it, and felt a lot less frustrated and angry over the whole thing

He felt seen

Asmodeus:

Now, as the Avatar of Lust, of course he loves sex

Who would he be if he didn't? (...he didn't like thinking about that, too existential for his taste and stressing as horrible for your skin)

But romance?...that was a bit different

He just didn't care for it, simple as that. It didn't interest him

He couldn't get himself to get into it, no matter how hard he tried. And believe me, he tried

He just could never form that sort of romantic connection with people like others, though

He always thought he was so weird because of it. Why couldn't he just date like normal people? Why couldn't he just feel comfortable with kisses and dates and those loving touches from a significant other?

Being in a friendship just felt better. Or even doing those "romantic" things but in a qpr with someone made him feel a lot better and more at ease, too

But he just felt so weird about it. If he loved sex so much and was happy with that, then why couldn't he be the same with romance?

When Lucifer and Satan told them about themselves though, he immediately felt more confident and happier with who he is

Because he's not alone. Other's understand him, especially Lucifer and Barbatos

Barbatos is someone he frequents to vent to or ask questions about aromanticism. He's very kind and helpful, and Asmo cherishes him for it

He's proud of who he is, and wants others to be as well (once again plugging in my fic that features an aro Asmo okay thanks bye)

Beelzebub:

Beelzebub isn't really romance repulsed per say, he just doesn't really look for it

Like, he wouldn't mind being in a romantic relationship with someone

But he doesn't actively search for one, or really care about not being in one

Finding someone who enjoys his company and makes him feel good is something that sounds really nice, but he also doesn't really care if he doesn't find anyone either

He needs to really get to know the person before they start dating

Even more so before they could do any sexual activities

He needs to be close to them, it's such a thing he holds highly and is essential to him for his relationships

He is kinda ambivalent with both romance and sex though. Like, they were fine, but he also didn't care as much about them as others did

It was usually just a matter he shrugged at and figured he'll get around to it at some point in time

Belphegor:

Like Lucifer, he doesn't really care about romance. It's not something that he spends too much thought on

Unlike Lucifer, he doesn't mind the idea of dating. He just doesn't care about putting the energy into it though

Belphie just doesn't see why he needs to. He's happy with where he is now, so why change it?

Like, if he found himself in a relationship, he wouldn't mind. But he also doesn't mind at all with not being in one

Similar to Beel though, he needs to know and be close with the person before developing feelings and being fine with dating them or being in a romantic relationship

But in the end Belphie really just couldn't care less. Like he really just doesn't care

He doesn't care about romance, so it's hard to see himself in one

Again, if there's a special person that comes by, then yeah he could see himself being in a romantic relationship

But like other than that. He just doesn't bring himself to care

Simeon:

Of course this 🙏 Pure Angel is asexual

In all seriousness though, Simeon mostly abstains from sex

Unless he finds someone he really connects with, someone he truly loves and who loves him, he doesn't do sexual activities

Even then, sometimes he just. doesn't feel it, y'know? (i hope you know because i literally don't know how to explain it)

Sometimes he just feels Icked out by sex

He loves other romantic gestures though, like cuddling (he loves cuddling so much, like he just wants to hold his significant other so badly all the time)

But he has such a strange and weird relationship with sex, he struggles with it a lot

Mostly if there is someone who is interested in it while he isn't

He feels bad about it, but after a while he learns to try and communicate his needs with his partner or future partners

Barbatos:

This dude is so aroace

That's it that's the section

He's known since like forever and has accepted it a long time ago

He's very knowledgeable (as he is on any topic) so many of the brothers and those in Purgatory Hall often go to him for advice or to answer their questions

Mainly Levi and Asmo went to talk to him, and often went to him for advice

He is a demon of many talents as he both bakes and gives solid advice for them to just love themselves and, even if they won't believe it now, to know that the panic over everything would fade

He's accepted himself and who he is, and just wants his friends to do the same as well

(also ugh this is not related but levi and barb being in a qpr makes me feel things am i the only one? yeah? alright then)

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that-was-anticlimactic · 2 years

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i started sk8! i'm two eps in and it's very nice so far. definitely more relaxed than what i usually prefer but it's still fun :] ngl that blue-haired dude is creepy as hell. i haven't watched far enough to find out for sure but it seems like he's manipulating miya which is. >:(( giving off nasty rich person vibes. reki is so <333 to me he's just!! a little guy!!! ngl a bit worried abt the fact that langa seems to be very good at skateboarding like absolutely good for him and all but if i was reki i think i'd be kinda jealous? it would be interesting if they addressed this later on in the show. loving joe's and cherry's dynamic so muchh! they're so funny to me. immense respect to joe for deciding to skateboard with his tits out. the only question i have is where are his nipples???? like sir??? i know its anime censourship or whatever but still. also if i may share my personal hcs for some of them: i hc reki as a trans bi guy. idk why but that just. feels right for him yk. i also love the idea of him having adhd and tourettes! you were so so right about that <333 one thing about langa is that he is definitely not straight. gay i think and aspec as well. also he is autistic bc i mean. have you seen him. he and reki are literally hyperfixating on skating together!! like that montage describes bonding about a shared hyperfixation so so accurately. joe def gives of bi vibes 100% but i'm not too sure about cherry. and also you were right i do love miya! i've seen him for 5 minutes tops and he has been mean for all of them but he is so <3333 to me!! OOPS I WROTE A LOT. AHEM ENJOYING SK8 A NORMAL AMOUNT.

YES YES YES ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

okay y eah blue haired dude is ad*m and i hate him i hate him i hate him he 100% is manipulating / grooming miya and i will STAB this man

oooooooooooh just you wait. just. you. w ait.

YES REKI BELOVED he is my blorbo my everything he is The character i am reki he is me he is he Is The Little Guy i would die for him i love reki btw if you didn't know

UYTFDGHUIJOUYGFU CRYING AT THE JOE NIPPLE COMMENT HELP-- I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE CACKLING

YES EXACTLY !!! @capt-snoozles actually drew some trans reki art and it is. it is SO GOOD. and yES TS REKI MY B E L O V E D!!! theo has also drawn AMAZING ts reki art that i just. i love so much. i literally showed everyone in my class once i cried i love him (reki and theo lol)

YES GAY ASPEC AUTISTIC LANGA !!! he is SO autistic coded there is literally a scene where reki and shadow (MY BELOVED I LOVE SHADOW SM) are talking and langa is literally just. sitting there and swaying back and forth with his eyes closed. i love him.

#olly tag #I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING IT #I LOVE THIS SHOW SO FREAKING MUCH #ALSO IK SHADOW SEEMS LIKE THE WORST AT FIRST BUT TBH IT'S ALL AN ACT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW WHO HE IS ANYWAYS--#the matchablossom content just gets even Better don't worry uyftfcgvhijugytfcvgbhjiuhygf #corey rambles:)

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theclosetisglassyouqueer · 1 year

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I need to get this out 🫶

(you're really just a third party listening)

(pretend you're my therapist)

So I've resonated with some aspec things but also not felt like I'm on the a spectrum.

WARNING

Trauma, mentions of sexual harassment, definitions, run-on sentences, opinions, and trauma dumping, (is it sharing my story or am I just trauma dumping on the people who might read this?)

...

(I know these are not definitive and having or not having these does not constitute asexuality, nor anything on the aspectrum, and that these vary and don't necessarily determine nor undermine the validity among the people on the aspectrum.

These experiences and events have it so as these make my feelings as to being asexual unlikely and that I'm not.

The same applies to the aromantic, or any other parts.)

Like I'm not asexual I want sex, I have a high libido, I get horny, I've masturbated more than I believe is common for my agab, and I've never had sex so I can't really say, right, and that unpleasant sexual harassment didn't change much in me, I just want VERY consensual sex.

But I don't think I feel sexual attraction like everyone else, like people have described theirs, i don't just see someone and think I wanna fuck them. I see someone in public and I wanna be someone special in their life not just date them, like I feel like it seems like I'm saying when I mention it

I'm not aromantic, for example, I'm SOO desperately lost as a hopless romantic, I WANT LOVE I want to share secrets to understand someone and be understood, almost every social media account I have has a saved folder with a heart or the word love (with the plans of showing anyone who's fallen in love with me, when I needed to give myself a reason yk.)

But I've never felt something I'd label romantic attraction, I chose my first crush (hehe he still wears Remus sweaters like everywhere, aesthetic) maybe it's only recent that I've realized I could feel something for people now(religious trauma) (can't date till you're 40 jokes) that I could get in a relationship with someone. And maybe it's the overuse of the word love in everyday language, but I don't really feel anything when someone says "I love you" to me, I say it back, but there's no deep feeling put into it. We've said it in tears knowing we won't see each other physically for years and I know I'll miss them, and I cry and there's a feeling there but I don't feel for it long, but there's no existential pain in knowing. Maybe I've just stuffed all feelings down for so long and maybe I don't know how to not do it and maybe I'm numb about it because I've already stuffed any feelings down subconsciously.

But maybe someone special will show up in my life maybe they'll be a certain gender that assures me in my sexual attraction maybe they'll make me feel something so I know love exists and romance is possible, and we can do everything together, sex and cuddles in the sun and sharing and enjoying each others interests together and seperate but close, but that means there has to be another person.

But oh platonic love!!!!🥰🥰❤ it's not romantic and it's oh being ever so close to someone but without the expectations of a romantic relationship. It's truly pure love it's a 🥰 but not 😍 and without the expectations of 😘

But I've never been very good at having friends, close friends or even just acquaintances, they've always petered out after some time and practically non existent after a week or two if it's online not almost daily, like living together is what it would take, almost. (Hey bestie who's my sister who doesn't have Tumblr and will probably never see this lol) and even relationships with grandparents and extended family members who don't live close, and we don't spend constant or regular-ish time conversing or spending with each other, are nearly nonexistent if we're not together and spending time juntos.

So maybe it's my trauma or mental illness (pretty sure I have ADHD, depression, anxiety, and the like but I've never been diagnosed so...🤷‍♂️) and I truly don't know how to have and keep up a relationship, or maybe it's because every relationship I've ever had, sexual or romantic or platonic, has not been balanced ⚖️ probably very one-sided without either of us consciously knowing.

ANYWAY

I found the term "alterous attraction" about 2-3 hours ago:

"Alterous attraction is a type of attraction that is not entirely/neither romantic or platonic. It’s seeing someone and immediately going “I must become very close to them” but like. Not in a romantic way. By nature, it’s meant to be nebulous so for some people it might feel closer to romantic attraction while for others it might be closer to platonic."

I feel closer with this description and phrasing than to those of love and attraction (and trust me, I've read many of those. We're you aware that the ancient Greeks had seven to nine words for love each with different descriptions and definitions?) It's the same comfort as I felt with the label pangender, nebulous, I don't have to decide which gender I am, male, female, non binary, it's nebulous and I can be all or some without distinction. Without distinction, is what I feel sexual, am I fetishizing? Is what I feel romantic, is this what love feels like? Is it platonic, intimate and affectionate but not sexual?

"Alterous attraction is the desire to be emotionally close to someone. it’s not romantic attraction but it’s also not quite platonic, so it’s a “weird” gray area that some identify as being between the two or just completely different. alterous attraction can also be used to describe attraction that is confusing, can’t be determined by the person experiencing it, or can’t be labeled/described by typical or amatonormative terms. hope this helps!"

"A weird gray area... as being between the two or just completely different." Describes my identity, my past, my life, and my literal existence. Lol (but a semi-serious lol)

There's truly no need to specify. Nebulous and no need for distinction it can be romantic and platonic, either or neither, or somewhere in between.

"Alterous attraction is liking the idea of romance, hearing what a qpr is, and having a crisis because you thought that’s what romance was."

Honestly I just WANNA be close with someone and I don't know if that's trauma or I'm just very touch deprived. Which I am/have both to an EXTREME extent

Feeling alterous attraction doesn't have to make me identify on the aspectrum.

I am valid in identifying that I feel alterous attraction while also not identifying as being on the aspectrum.

Tldr: I trauma dump and realize the attraction I feel can be accurately labeled as as alterous attraction 🫶

#alterous attraction #a spectrum #ace spec #ace spectrum #aromantic #aromatic #i crave validation #trauma #trauma dump #gaylife #lgbtqi community #update #pangender #distinction

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