#I feel maybe discussion would help

[theultracharmingladynoire]

tumblr let me finish my tag rant challenge

#Anyway picking up from my previous post #It's just that I definitely feel there are some valid points in the disappointed/angry posts abt yuuri's not winning gold #But I just. I don't know why they run off wrong to me #(maybe because of their tone? most of them are like Yuuri was robbed!!1! and a bit petty #Which okay valid but they also for SOME REASON rub off really badly with me and just. Make me feel a bit upset/ conflicted maybe #I just. Don't know I am tired and I just want to enjoy this show without going too deep into it #But since it's been like what five years since it ended there's practically a dormant fandom #And looking for old posts was what introduced me to this whole controversy an discourse around the ending and now #I am conflicted and I HATE IT OKAY #honestly if you've watched/rewatched the show and feel somewhat *similar* about this whole thing #please talk to me about it #I feel maybe discussion would help #n rambles #I feel like I am being annoying because I am constantly whining about this but I need to let it out once in a while I guess

[uncanny-tranny]

I think there's this idea of privilege that people have where if you are privileged, you become a bad person, and the more privilege you possess, the worse of a person you are, like privlege is a nuclear bomb warehouse that you can add stock into.

This is an incomplete outlook on privilege because it places blame on individuals with privilege rather than the systems which give certain people privilege, while at the same time ignoring others to their detriment.

A cis person isn't bad because they have the privilege of not being trans. The system in place which prioritize cis voices, opinions, bodies, and, ultimately, cis lives over trans ones is bad. These are important distinctions because something like trans liberation will not be a reality if we don't dismantle the system which places trans people as lesser.

#privilege #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #this applies to much more than just trans vs cis #and perhaps my outlook is coming from a privileged point of view. but i can't help but wonder if the way *some* people approach this... #...topic would even be conducive #this post isn't directed at a person or group by the way and i'm not wanting to start heated arguments #this is just Some Guy's opinion about the ways in which i have seen these discussions happen #i don't think anybody is a Bad Person simply for how they express being an individual who isn't thought about in society #it's HARD knowing your government and society doesn't care about you and i totally understand where these feelings come from. i just... #...i just think maybe there is a better way to approach this where everybody can be seen and listened to #just a quick post where i shoot a thought out at break-neck speed roght as i think of words

[eebie]

my last post got me thinking so im gonna do a poll to see what u guys think

id love to do a second poll like this on twitter and compare the results. they’d probably be very different from what i’m predicting the response to be here But also twitter is a notorious hellscape and im not setting foot in there. also theres a typo in that last option we isn’t supposed to be there.

EDIT: some clarification bc my wording may have been a little confusing: if two characters are not related in canon, but their voice actors are related in real life, would it be weird to ship the characters?

#not making this rebloggable in case it breaks containment or something #last thing i want is this blowing up my notifications #personally i’d feel weird about it #like nobodys Really doing anything wrong but at the same time #what if their voice actors found out and it made them uncomfortable ? #i know ed helms told oncest shippers to get help LMAO #but thats different #i guess i just border on not really caring i dont really ship characters in general so it wouldnt affect me #but yea i’d still feel weird about it Personally #wouldnt speak out against it but i wouldnt really encourage or interact w that stuff #just bc it has the potential to affect those hypothetical voice actors #dunno. what do u guys think? #maybe not wise of me to try 2 have a discussion like this on here But i have faith that u guys will stay decent #idk. if it starts to get crazy ill delete this post #Coming back to this hours later after posting this Yeah i dont care #idk what i was on this morning the odds of this happening are so low talking about it isnt even necessary unless it actually became a thing #Guess i was just curious to see what other people would think

[katyspersonal]

It is only first month of 2024, and I've already lost not one but two subjects of nightmares, paranoia and reoccurring emotional torture. I really wish there was another way to get rid of these besides having extremely painful conversations.. but at least these scars are closing, one by one

#/vent #personal #and this time was like.. opposite of the previous one #previous one absolutely wrecked me with very ugly insight and basically made all puzzle pieces fall together #this one was just pain and crying and having my worst suspicions about other person AND self faced and confirmed #but again it got solved #I really want the power to move on without having a closure. #I hope I will be strong enough for it one day. #I just need to think.. #I think I really should avoid other depressed/traumatised people until something can be done with how I react at perceived threats #(which is eternity because hell I know when I will be able to afford therapy. probably never with how my life situation is going) #as jarring as being close only with 'healthy' people would be I just can't make things worse for both me and them #until I can change my default response from aggression into avoidance I'll just stay away from anyone with depression #I say very terrible things when I feel threatened and it is way too easy to make me feel threatened. it is THE easiest thing in the world. #I won't survive without close friends anyhow but there is category of people that can't recover from these words normally #I mean I am ALSO this 'category'. I also hurt from awful words thrown at me for MONTHS don't I #it is very hard to be aware of my glaring flaws when everyone that points them out is outright malicious and wants me bullied off the Earth #and then everyone who does think I deserve my human rights either doesn't see my flaws or doesn't mention them #so at least discussing it without outright intention to harm me was helpful for a change #maybe one day I'll have a friend that can be open if I've hurt them a lot so I can work on it but that's another story I guess

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

#i know there are compromises out there #and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered #and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine #but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit. #i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough #i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them. #but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu'' #it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps???? #it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me #throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks #when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding #it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer #''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped. #the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone #the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me #and they've got their own shit to deal with #on that note #i was discussing stuff with my mom #and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents #and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????'' #oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting #or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting #maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace #maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted #maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc #and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me #how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way #how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells #broadcasting my misery #vent

[mishapen-dear]

I read that same fic earlier and I just straight up muted the person so their works don't show up for me anymore lmao

there was also another one like that posted yesterday because the person was mad at something qBad did a couple of days ago while not at all in his right mind and amnesiac, it was odd (not shitting on the person just confused and slightly concerned)

yeah there’s. a lot of misconceptions around qbad rn lmao. It’s one of the reasons Im so obnoxious about him, tbh, so that it’s not JUST the negativity that gets spread. He’s a really good target for the hate rn, because he has a smaller fanbase and his pvp playstyle + lore lead him to all that antagonizing during purgatory, and that gets vented out into fics.

It’s genuinely really interesting, the dichotomy that seems to exist between tumblr and twitter regarding him. Ive heard nothing but slander about bbh from twitter (again, he is not faking his illness, that is a lie), but he’s got a solid enough foothold on tumblr that ive seen more hate towards the fans that the cc, here. which makes sense, given how we take over the tag almost ever day when he logs on. genuine o7 to people who find that obnoxious but thats one of the reasons i overtag so much, for blocking purposes.

anyway i think all the bbh mischaracterization means that we just need to write about him more >:D please this is a call for more bbh centric fics from people who do not hate him/know a little bit about his lore. blease he’s such a fun pov to write i promise

#mishapen answers #discourse #<- discussion of it anyway #idk maybe people are spreading lies over here too but i block anyone who doesnt filter their neg/go out of their way to make bad faith #arguments. #i think ita REALLY interesting how seeing all the hate towards bad had me finding myself saltier towards other fans/creators too #so i can understand why these vent fics are being put out yknow sometimes its just really fun to hate a guy #but that’s what neg tags and bashing [character] tags on ao3 are for #on tw/itter where a lot of this gets spread you dont really. Have that #dont mind me ive just been ruminating on this a bunch the past two weeks #ive never been so active in a fandom where discourse had the opportunity to actually reach me #its been p interesting to observe how thats effected the way i say and clarify things #<- rhats the main point of my other post ig because if my gifter is someone who has been seeing nothing but bbh neg after bbh neg comes her #*here and sees me swooning about bbh’s ‘only egg protector’ and ‘no one helps him’ complexes Getting Worse during the end of purgatory #then they dont have the context that im doing so strictly for fun and not putting it on other characters/blaming them for not also swooning #we have media literacy in this house i promise #i would like more characters to have flaws and feel alone and commit incredible sins #anyway. excusez-moi im verbose when im tired and procrastinating #anonymous

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

au where the day of unity isn't until decades later and luz never comes to the boiling isles. willow somehow still gets transferred to the plant track and gets really good at her craft. amity never learns that bullying is bad, actually and they never reconciled in school.

and years later, blight industries is the most affluent company on the isles. odalia continues to be allergic to letting amity, who is her only child at this point to not run away from home the moment they turned 18 and cut all contact, associate with witches of "lower social standing."

so eventually when odalia tells amity that she's going to find her a nice respectable spouse amity just rolls her eyes and goes with it. maybe its some other heir to a big company. maybe it's a captain from the emperor's coven. maybe it's even the golden guard, if hunter managed to survive that long.

and then eventually she finds out that her mother has been trying to get her a date with PLANT COVEN HEAD WILLOW PARK

you've seen the countless amity x hunter miserable arranged marriage aus get ready for the amillow friends to enemies to arranged marriage to friends again to lovers 50k slowburn

#toh #the owl house #shut up pandora #amity blight #willow park #odalia blight #amillow #the hunter and amity arranged marriages were interesting unfortunately what the fandom didnt know then #was that there was no way belos would ever let a clone of his brother marry a witch bc belos thinks they all have cooties #i discussed this with my friends mandareeboo and yardsards and if they want to add anything they should feel free to #anyway im thinking odalia uses her connections to get audiences with the emperor #and every day shes like oh emperor you know my daughter is very beautiful and talented and of marriageable age #wont you introduce her to a respectable member of your coven #and belos gets so annoyed that in the end he forces willow to marry amity to get odalia to stop bothering him #and here willow would be kind of fucked up too #you dont become a coven head without doing religious trauma on the members of your coven #id like to think if no one was able to help her become confident like luz did when she discovered her plant powers #she would have overcompensated by becoming a horrible person as well #she would have tried to emulate boscha and amity bc to her thats what strength is #idk how gus fits in maybe hes also a coven head maybe he acts as willows guilty conscience maybe hes chilling

[aeide-thea]

thinking abt (1) that post abt how most censorship is preemptive self-censorship¹ (2) bras²

⸻ ¹ wow, tumblr search actually worked for once??? ² i do understand and respect that for many people bras serve an actual structural function wrt support/comfort! however, for many other people (hi!) they do not, at least in everyday non-sports contexts, and that's the set of concerns i'm speaking to here.

#i mean for me personally it's also like. sometimes/often/always i don't want to have visible tits‚ for Gender Reasons #so rendering them more compressed & visually ignorable is a move in the right direction #but that's sort of seasonal (which sounds insane‚ but‚ idk‚ in the summer the visible body hair helps balance out the visible tits???) #so it's like. objectively very obvious that i ought to go braless more in the summer #when it would bother me less visually and dramatically increase my comfort levels #and i do‚ in the house! but like. when i go out i still feel the need to render myself Presentable and i'm mad about it #bc like. yeah it's partially a trans desire to hide my chest but like. is that actually separable from the way women are socialized #to manage their breasts to HOA-approved standard or else open themselves up to a whole gamut of inappropriate treatment. (no.) #and so it's really just like. reimposing many different shades of cisheteropatriarchy on myself simultaneously #but unfortunately the only way out is to just. accept all the bad reactions i'm living in fear of. but those DO feel bad! #as always it's like. hard when yr self-protective conditioning isn't serving you wrt being a free person #but IS a rational reaction to the hobbled reality of yr actual existence… #like. easy to say 'just ignore those worries.' and maybe i will‚ at least in the context of like. casual public appearances #but like. even if the material consequences are unlikely‚ for me‚ to be more than unpleasantly judgmental stares— #that's still a real emotional consequence that has an impact on my well-being! but so does the self-censorship. #anyway. too many tags & no novel insight. just like. sux lol #(also usually on here i omit any discussion of Tit Management Issues bc it's my space where i get to pretend not to have a body) #(but like. that's self-censorship of a kind too.) #embodiment (is violence)

[swordsonnet]

on the off chance anyone on here followed me for my jonmartin fake dating au, currently standing tragically unfinished at 7 out of 8 chapters: i'm still working on the last chapter! i would love to have it up this year, but unfortunately i can't make any promises, because i've started a new medication and the side effects are wreaking havoc on my mind and body. haha isn't chronic illness fun. but rest assured the fic is the beating heart under my floorboards, and i WILL finish it one day

#i feel pretty bad about it because my update schedule has been really inconsistent for the whole fic :/// #and now the final chapter is going to be even more epically delayed than the other ones #should've probably finished the whole thing properly before i started posting it but you live and learn i guess #my chronic illness really messed with my ability to write and i hate it #like the chapter is almost done. under normal circumstances it wouldn't take me long to finish it #but it's like my brain has forgotten how to make words happen. ugh. #i don't want to let people down by making them wait so long for an update #but i also don't want to let them down by giving them a mediocre chapter y'know #if all goes well the new meds might help with both the chronic fatigue *and* the depression which would be an absolute godsend #but ngl. the side effects are rough. and they can apparently last for up to six weeks #and i've only been taking the meds for about 2 1/2 weeks so i've still got a long road ahead of me #i also started my period yesterday which certainly doesn't help lmao #delete later maybe #just needed to vent for a lil bit. and as everyone knows there's no better place to discuss your private business than tumblr dot com

[idkimnotreal]

the conundrum of adhd medication, as perceived by me.

my natural brain (aka weaker dosage than i need): i want to do everything at once, but i can't see myself doing any of those things because they all seem too much (executive dysfunction) or too difficult. i can't do anything, but i want to do everything, hence i get understimulated, and it hurts.

my medicated brain (overdosage): i don't want to do anything at all, every activity has the same appeal to my brain, be it drink a glass of water or conquer the world, both activities that would reward me 0 dopamine because i already have too much of it at that moment. i can actually see myself doing stuff, and if i want to do it i can do anything, but the problem is that i don't. if i miscalculate whether to take the meds or not, i may end up just waiting for my natural brain to return so i can find literally any joy in living again (luckily it's 8 hours at most for ritalin).

#adhd meds #medication #i can't seem to figure out the right ritalin dosage for me #i keep switching between 20 and 30mg month in and out and it never seems right #maybe due to recent life events i can finally settle on a dosage though if i try #vyvanse is too expensive #but i figure it has none of the problems ritalin has for me #but i need a job first #which is tricky because i feel like the right meds would help me get that #but i can't wager my parents' money on that #they say concerta is more chill than ritalin even though it's the same substance but i'm just afraid that due to #it being less popular there'll be shortages and stuff but i can discuss it with my doctor #and for the 2195th time adderall is banned in brazil so fuck me

[theultracharmingladynoire]

This has been a rant building up for a while now and I just need to put it in here but it's that. I remember the joy and excitement I felt when I watched y/o/i ep 1 - 10 because I literally. Knew nothing about the show except for the fact it was gay?? dvsjgshd but it just was so GOOD but then I. Came across a couple of interpretations of ep 11-12 (which I hadn't watched by then so I had no idea what went down) which was just people being disappointed, people thinking the ending was changed for a season 2, people thinking it was out of nowhere (especially V/ictor's comeback?? I guess??) And that really. messed up my perception of the show?? Like upto then I was forming my own interpretations of the characters and after this I. Was lowkey scared to watch the last two episodes because I was afraid of it being bad™ (if that even makes sense) and then one day even when I did watch them I didn't watch them properly?? Like I even missed a lot of scene and dialogue because I was too nervous about what I had read about it before.

And like. I don't even think those interpretations are entirely wrong for record. I understand that especially when there was a whole week between episodes and when the fandom was so huge and active people might have a very different viewing experience which directly plays into how they interpreted the character arcs! And those interpretation are extremely valid even though I disagree with them. The show definitely leaves a lot upto intrepretation of the viewers so there isn't any interpretation that is necessarily wrong™ (Idk how to phrase this sorry)

But it's just that I wasn't able to form MY own interpretation properly because I was influenced by others' ?? (In lack of a better way to word it) and I just. I've been mulling over this for a whole MONTH and going back and forth and back about the ending. And it just feels very draining when I go out to look for meta and people who had opinions similar to mine and find...like what ten people?? it kind of makes me feel like I am looking at things wrong, and that probably the finale WAS just bad or whatever (which seems to be a more common idea in what I've seen)

I do think there were pacing issues, and I do think the character arcs CAN be interpreted differently than what they are in the finale but I also am a bit sad that not many people tried to recontextualise the show in light of the finale (again, it isn't a MUST But I really wish people tried to if I am making sense?)

And it's sad because I know this can be fun if I just created my own bubble without all the meta and opinions I disagree with but it's hard when that is somehow always what I come across? And I KNOW I should stop reading a post when I see that it may suggest something towards the opinions that I disagree with (because that'll just waste my energy), but then what if I AM wrong? What if those posts are right and I am willingly closing my eye towards what the characters originally are or something?? Is what perplexes me out and really makes me sort of nervous and uneasy(?)

And now it is getting worse and I feel like I am slowly losing all the love I had for this show and it absolutely SUCKS because I just want to enjoy this silly little show and now this is all....just a mess

#N rambles #I feel like I am just repeating things at this point #I've been trying to hold back a lot from venting about this on the main because it just plainly seems like a very trivial thing to be this #upset about #But after weeks of ranting in tags I just feel I really HAVE to say this because it is actually really making me sad #Like. I thought maybe after exams I wouldn't be upset? And I was so excited to do a lot more things for the show #I was so excited and looking forward to this #Especially since I have TOO much of free time now so I also am prone to overthinking in such a situation #And I did and this just sucks and I am fed up with just overthinking and keeping all of this to myself and getting too upset #so. yeah. I still feel very bad but I also think it's probably due to a lot. Of other factors #and this one is not helping #And for one thing: I am actually really nervous about posting this because this seems to be such a dividing topic #And by no means am I saying people shouldn't have been upset - but...yeah #I just. Don't know. I really do wish I could find more people who are active and who liked the finale?? I really want to talk about #The character arcs and themes and ramble about them but there's no one to. talk about it to positively??? #I also want to rewatch the show. It would actually just solve this problem but #I am low-key scared??? I don't think this would be a right time to do it because I am just really confused about this whole issue and it #Will definitely reflect in forming my own opinions and I don't want that #like at this point I just want to discuss about the finale with people who also didn't feel it was too off or ooc or something #And just tried to intrepret it in good faith #Again I don't really care about people disliking it obviously #It's just that*I* wish I could find more people who liked it #(sorry for the weird phrasing in this whole post I am trying to express what I feel but idk how to do it exactly) #Also I used the slashes because I don't want this to turn up on search sorry

[uncanny-tranny]

I think a lot of people don't support punitive justice on a governmental level (good), but they don't understand why punitive justice is overarchingly a bad thing, so they still operate with the idea that it's still the Best Option, but only when they can wield it.

Of course, there is a difference between a government having access to punitive justice and individuals or a small community having access to it, but the mindset is still strikingly similar. I've seen it time and time again where one's desire to destroy after even a small slight outweighs anything else, and that's alarming, actually. Yes, it's understandable, but I still don't think it is a healthy impulse or knee-jerk reaction for every minor affront.

#politics #i'm sure i talked about this before but it still strikes me as important #how exactly will everybody be helped by using the absolute extremes of 'justice'? #and because people only know punitive extreme forms of 'justice' that seems to be the only frame of reference they have... #...so when somebody proposes other methods of justice it is seen not unlike abuse or assault apologia or something extreme... #...because the nuance isn't there to recognize levels of severity in an action where punitive justice isn't going to work #and i'd argue that people are generally more invested in the perpetrator/s of abuse rather than the victims/survivors left in their wake #so people frame the discussion as Protecting Victims as a Class but really #ARE you helping us? and if so - what are you doing beyond going After Our Abuser/s? #people think it helps us to Go After The Abuser/s. much less do they think about *us* as people and what we need i think. #maybe its selfish of me but i know my abuser will never face any repercussions beyond people judging them slightly for what they did to me.. #...so me personally i would rather people take their fury with my abuser (in my real life) and maybe invest it in myself and others... #...maybe hell will be waiting with open arms for them when they die. but i'm still going through hell because of them so i feel it's even #maybe i've just ~given up~ but i want to help people rather than immediately going After People #not everything CAN be solved with an eye for an eye. not everything SHOULD.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

I hope my brother can arrange something so he can bear me part of the journey home after this week is all over and done because I am starting to suspect I will not be a safe driver and it could pose an unacceptably high risk that I'll semi-accidentally drive off the road.

#when will this pain end #i hope to discuss it and hopefully minimise the fallout and at least we won't see each other for a week or two. hopefully by then he might #at least be not avoiding me :/ #ridiculous and foolish to care so much about any single thing or any single person #i was already nearing the end of my tether socially for this week in any case #and is that a surprise? ive barely eaten and barely slept during this time #i want to talk to his mother who suffered almost identically the same thing at the same age but i dont know if i can bear it or not #i just want to clear this up with him somehow #and now - finally - ten hours after i was first told this - the tears are coming but they cannot #if they do i dont think they will stop #i just need to get through today and then i can break down #maybe i wont help with packing up tomorrow i might not be up for it i dont know #this week has been such a mix of so so good and so terrible #the talks have been really good and all #and i do not regret spending time with him #altho one problem was one time he apparently would have liked me to go away and didn't say but oh! i would have preferred if he had #i feel terrible for not realising that i should've gone away at that point bc it should have been obvious #except it's not to an idiot like me :/

[scorchedhearth]

is it possible to read green lanterns as a cult like group?

kinda? as always it depends on the writers and what they want to do with the story, the parallax arc was going in that direction with the guardians being very strict with hal and ordering him around without giving anything to help him, using him for their cause, and there are several stories that follow the guardians hiding a lot and using the lanterns to protect them, or with hal and ollie's story showing a more controlling side to the glc, or in the early GL 1990 where they force hal for a year in space, even john and guy being told to do the job after hal or the whole crisis thing with guy

but for the most part of what i've read of the green lantern 1960 (which isn't everything), it doesn't really veer into the extreme, that comes later on. the guardians do somewhat overview them but they're given a lot of freedom to do whatever they want, they offer the ring but don't force it on people, they do offer teaching and guidance when asked to but the lanterns remain relatively free of their actions. that's why i use spiritual rather than religious because the guardians aren't seen as gods or prophets of a religion, they're old so they're wise and thus of good advice but they don't interfere that much with the lanterns or force beliefs on them, they just pick people who want to do good and who will gravitate toward similar morals. i mean, sinestro was allowed to go full totalitarian rule on korugar without the guardian noticing, and he said things and acted in ways that clashed with a lot of lanterns when he was still in

i'd argue that it's more cult-like in their current copaganda era (post rebirth, what a surprise) where any questions regarding the guardians' actions are seen as an offense and to be corrected, something that shouldn't happen, having blind faith in them and doing whatever they're told to do is rewarded, when they're being sent in situations to act out the guardians' authority instead of going there willingly as the early comics and choosing their actions themselves

#there was a post going around about how in modern comics GL arc should be about leaving it because of the moral implication #which yeah. given the state of the current glc its very similar to our law enforcing groups which. ac ab #but back then i dont think it holds true #idk maybe im biased if so feel free to discuss that with me #but i feel im being fair with this here. im not saying its perfect but it's less authoritarian than what we have now #the guardians would just chill together until a lantern went to ask a question. they rarely sought them at first #and the most they'd say was 'do good' #idk i know ive been vocal about hating the law enforcing direction the glc progressively took especially compared to the early stuff #where its more humanitarian (?) and selfless #even the story written wouldn't ask for law or retribution it was often small missions about helping ppl #anyway im rambling <3 hope this make sense #asks #anon #glc

[running-in-the-dark]

On days like today I really wish I still had a therapist. It would help so much to discuss what happened with a neutral outsider, someone who is a competent, apparently well adjusted person whose judgment I can trust. Like, I know we didn't do anything wrong, I even googled it to see if you have to ask your landlord before drilling holes in walls here (you don't). But it didn't help, I still feel like I did everything wrong and like I'm a horrible person. Knowing that's illogical doesn't help unless someone else that I trust confirms it and discusses the whole thing with me. Because my brain is stupid.

#like I think I really didn't gain many long term benefits from therapy #but having that opportunity to discuss issues as they happened absolutely helped a lot #now I can tell myself the things I know my therapist would have said... but that doesn't work because those thoughts come from my brain and #my brain cannot be trusted #ugh. #but it's fine or whatever #I'll feel better tomorrow I guess #until then I'll keep reminding myself that I could maybe have done some things a little better. but their behaviour was not appropriate and #the way they talked to us wasn't right #I can't control their behaviour or their reactions and I handled the situation the best I could #everyone was calm and friendly in the end and there don't seem to be any consequences #we'll adjust our behaviour and try to be even quieter (somehow) for a while so they know we respect their wishes or whatever #but in the end. landlords are scum and they're not our friends and tbh we don't owe them shit so like.. whatever. we'll be nice because we #like it here and we'd like to keep living here but they're not the amazing people that they think they are just for letting us pay them a #shit ton of money to live in this house. #okay rant over #personal

[oveliagirlhaditright]

LOL. In the Buffy tie-in book I read ("Unnatural Selection"), Buffy had to come up with the cover story that she and Angel were married and had two daughters: Ginger and Joy. And she came up with those names because ginger (the spice) was right in front of her, and the brand of the dishwasher she owned was "Joy"?

But an AU--or better yet, a continuation of this--where they have daughters and actually name them that. Pfft.

Also, interestingly enough, in these tie-in books, Buffy dreams of having kids with Angel quite a few times (like in moments where she gets to see her perfect life).

Not that that's what this was, but it's still definitely interesting.

#bangel #this book is about faeries and changelings for anyone wondering and that's why #basically the faeries are targeting the married couples with children who work for this one guy and then kidnap their kids and replace them #with changelings? #so buffy calls this one lady--when she's beginning to figure this out--to get more info/see if this has happened to her and pretends her #husband works for the guy and that they have kids #and then angel shows up (to help buffy patrol essentially) when she's about to meet the woman to discuss more and becomes a part of the #charade #because in seeing them together of course the woman would assume he was the husband buffy told her she had #not there's anything wrong with the names ginger and/or joy of course! i actually love them. i just feel like if buffy and angel ever #actually had kids those aren't the names they'd choose. heck i feel like those aren't even the names buffy would choose for fake kids if #she'd really had a minute to think about it #well maybe joy #because i do agree with fans who think they'd probably choose names that mean things. i agree with calenlily that it would probably be #grace or something like that #or maybe shannon. which i've also seen in another fic. since it's gaelic and means 'wise' apparently #though points to buffy for coming up with 'ginger' and 'joy' on the spot and having them both be names that start with a 'j' sound #because that does seem like something a parent could choose to do and probably made her story more believable