#I have a photo album of almost a hundred tags I Will be sharing thanks

[nugnthopkns]

i wish i could disappear

word count: 3.6k

warnings: explicit!fem reader, cursing, feelings of anxiety due to social media harassment, invasion of privacy that border on stalking

recommended listening: brutal | olivia rodrigo

series masterpost: here

a/n: and we're off to the races!! i love this album and olivia so much. there's a shoutout to goon by tobias jesso jr. in here bc it's my favourite album to cry to lmao (highly recommend giving it a listen!). i'm on the fence about this one but am posting it anyways because i don't think i can make it any better

How the fuck do people find your social media?

All of your accounts are private and Kevin makes sure to never tag you on the rare occasion he posts a picture of the two of you together. The wives and girlfriends who have public accounts make sure to never post about you, and you’re careful not to comment on posts often. You’re a private person and though you understand that due to the nature of your relationship with Kevin you intrigue some fans, you don’t want to give them more than you have to.

Despite making no attempt to open up to the public or media, every day you wake up with hundreds of follow requests from complete strangers. At first it was a little exciting knowing that people were curious about your life but after years of the same routine it’s become draining. It takes you nearly twenty minutes each day to weed through them and accept only the people you know personally. Kevin doesn’t actually know how many people want to catch a glimpse of your daily life because you do your best to keep it from him. Knowing would only bring him stress, and you want him to be able to focus on winning games and loving you with his entire heart.

☼☼☼☼

The phone on your desk rings loudly, pulling your attention away from the computer screen that has way too many numbers on it for your liking. The finance department needed someone to proof their audit before sending it away and since you’re the only one in human relations that has a business degree the job landed on your shoulders. Eager to take a break, you pick it up and press the receiver against your ear.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other side laughs gently, but you immediately know it’s Kevin. “Hi sweetheart,” he says warmly, “How’s work?”

“Fine I guess. It’s work, Kev. Nothing terribly exciting happens here,” you explain but continue to fill him in on all the coffee pot gossip you got this morning. Kevin listens as you complain about forgetting your lunch on the counter and chuckles at how upset the situation makes you.

“What if I told you I’m outside your window with a burrito bowl?”

Excited at the possibility of seeing your boyfriend before dinnertime, you whip towards the window and spot Kevin on the sidewalk, waving like an idiot despite knowing your office is on the fifth floor. You hang up quickly after telling him you’ll be down in two minutes and let the receptionist know you’re stepping out for lunch. There’s a line for the elevator so you head to the stairwell, taking them two at a time in your haste. You’re crossing the street to the small park where Kevin has set up a picnic before your co-workers are even out the door.

You plop down on the blanket beside Kevin and lean into him. He presses a sweet kiss to your forehead before passing you the food he brought. You take a bite, sighing at the taste. Kevin knows you better than you know yourself and knew exactly what to get that would satisfy your mounting hunger.

“Thanks babe,” you smile, holding up your fork and offering him a bite. He takes it graciously but makes a face. “What’s the matter?” you laugh as you take the utensil back.

“I fucking hate avocado.”

The two of you eat in relative silence, speaking only when you remember a detail from your morning. Kevin tells you about the drills he’s going to lead at practice in the afternoon and what he plans on cooking for dinner since he’ll be home before you. You insist you can whip something up when you get home but Kevin shakes his head. He reminds you that relationships are give and take, and that you’ve made dinner the past three nights because he had a string of games. You manage to reach a compromise that has you doing the dishes before you have to return to work.

Kevin insists on walking you back to your office even though you protest vehemently. Your relationship is far from secret, and has been the topic of workplace gossip more times than you can count, but after five years you’ve learned to ignore most of it. However, you don’t want your co-workers to think you flaunt your NHL player boyfriend to prove you’re better than them. They all love Kevin, and a couple of them congratulate him on last night’s goal as he follows you down the hall. A few of the newer hires stare in awe and shake his hand, completely blown away that one of Philadelphia’s biggest stars is asking how they like their jobs.

“Pretty soon they’re going to approach you to do PR for us,” you chuckle as you flip the light on and close the door of your office.

His laughter echoes off the walls as a pair of strong arms find a home around your waist. “It would be kind of fun to hear myself crush those radio commercials.”

“Since when do you listen to the radio?”

“Checkmate,” Kevin sighs, pulling you closer. He kisses you quickly, not wanting to give a show to anyone who could be walking past, but it still sends you reeling. You don’t want him to pull away and kiss him again.

You get your way for a few more moments and then Kevin’s leaving with a promise to not burn the house down and wishes for a good rest of the day. Focussed on giving the audit its final once-over you don’t bother pulling your phone from the drawer you had placed it in when you got to work that morning. You turn up the small radio at the corner of your desk and get to work scanning the document for errors. There’s a mistake halfway through that skews the rest of the data and fixing it takes a bit of time, but it isn’t a huge deal. You have nothing else to do except answer a few emails and organize meetings for after the weekend.

An hour or so later you’ve completed all your tasks and debate what to do. It’s too early to leave for the day, so you decide to kill time by checking your phone. You’re expecting a few notifications, perhaps two or three memes in the group chat you share with your friends, but not the hundreds that greet you.

The majority of them are instagram notifications, and assuming they’re just more fans requesting a follow you ignore them, instead heading to your text messages. There’s a picture from Kevin of a dog he found walking home and another from your mom asking why you haven’t called home in a few weeks. However the one from Claude’s wife is the one that piques your curiosity.

Just a heads up that someone posted a pic of you and Kev to one of those stupid wag pages. I filed a request for Instagram to take it down but it’s gotten a lot of traction. Sorry :((

Your heartbeat increases rapidly and a million thoughts fly through your head at a rapid speed. Fingers shaking, you respond with a thanks and open up the dreaded app. You don’t see it immediately, your feed being full of photos belonging to friends and family, but it’s in your messages almost two hundred times. Many of them have text attached and you know there will be a comment about your relationship regardless of which one you open.

Tapping on the most recent message you brace yourself for the worst. The new window opens a photo someone took of you and Kevin while eating lunch in the park across from your office not even three hours prior. It’s grainy and the camera angle is strange, but you’re eating and Kevin is looking somewhere out of frame. The accompanying caption reads Kev and his girlfriend out for lunch today! Follow @philllywagupdates for more :).

You let out a sigh of relief – it could have been a lot worse. Personal pictures of yourself have made it onto pages like that before and most of them they’re paired with mean-spirited captions about your appearance or other trivial matters. Assuming you’re in the clear, you head back to the page of the original message to thank the person for bringing the post to your attention. However, the message accompanying the post is anything but positive.

He can’t even fucking look at you. It’s only a matter of time before he leaves you

The blood in your veins runs cold. You know it’s not true – Kevin’s made it clear you’re the one and truthfully you’re just waiting for a ring – but it doesn’t stop the sting you feel. What could possess someone to say such horrible things? You decide not to respond despite, possibly opening another can of worms with the seen function, and close the app. Leaning back in your office chair you focus on anything but your phone, looking out the window at passersby while regaining your breath. It works for a while, but eventually not knowing what others said eats away at you. You go through every single message to see hundreds of similar comments to the first, with only a few saying they’re glad you’re happy or how posting the picture is a violation of your privacy.

By the time you’re finished your spirit has been crushed. However, it’s also an acceptable time to start the weekend – at least no one in the office will have to see you cry. Things are hastily packed into your bag and you wave a few quick goodbyes before once again taking the stairs. You curse yourself for deciding to walk to work that morning and set off in the direction of home wiping away tears. The last thing you need right now is for someone to recognize you, but you have to get home. Tobias Jesso Jr plays at much too loud a volume through your headphones and Kevin will most certainly remind you it’s bad for your hearing, but the melancholy piano riffs of Goon overpower the thoughts swirling around your head.

Do people really feel that way about me?

Are my friends just too nice to stop inviting me places?

Does Kevin really feel trapped?

Hundreds of similar sentiments and situations cross your mind as you stumble through the streets of downtown Philadelphia, but you force them as far back as possible before opening the door to the apartment you share with Kevin. Hoping to slip inside undetected, you take your shoes off slowly and throw your jacket on the end table instead of hanging it in the closet. Your plan fails somehow and Kevin hears you, greeting you in a goofy apron covered in flour.

“Hey sweetheart,” he smiles, but it drops once your eyes meet and he sees the hurt on your face. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing,” you insist, trying to step around him in pursuit of the bathroom.

Kevin doesn’t buy it and sees right through your feeble words. “It’s not nothing if you’re this upset. If you don’t want to talk now that’s fine, but I think you should get it off your chest.”

You know he’s right, but you also know you can’t tell him the true cause of your despair. “Just some work stuff,” you sigh. “The audit got all fucked up and I had to fix it even though it’s not my job.”

It’s not technically a lie, which makes you feel better, and Kevin buys it. He presses a sweet kiss to your lips in sympathy. “Go take a shower and the gnocchi should be ready by the time you’re done. We can spend the night cuddling on the couch.”

“And watching Selling Sunset?”

“We can watch whatever you want sweetheart,” he chuckles. You part from him with a final kiss and head to the bathroom. Hopefully the steam from the water will carry away the negativity brought on by that damn post.

☼☼☼☼

Time passes but the hateful comments on social media don’t stop. In fact, you’re pretty sure they get worse. It’s so bad that you’ve deleted every app except facebook because you need it for work. Kevin doesn’t notice your abstinence from social media, but he picks up on how you spend more time criticizing yourself or staring off into space. When he pushes you either brush him off or feed some bullshit excuse about how work is getting you down. You know he doesn’t believe you but trusts you enough to come to him when you’re ready to talk.

You aren’t sure if you’ll ever be able to tell Kevin what’s been going on. There’s been scrutiny from social media before, when you first started dating, but it quieted down after the initial media frenzy. He helped you through that but it’s different this time around. Never before have you had strangers tell you your life is worthless or that your boyfriend should end your relationship. Some of the other wags notice your absence on instagram but chalk it up to you just taking a break. They reach out via the group chat and send wishes to see you at the next home game. It’s nice to know they care, but the voice in your head that has grown much larger in recent weeks tells you they don’t truly mean it. This leads you to decline the invite as politely as possible, citing extended work hours for your absence. In reality you’re too anxious to be anywhere that isn’t home or work, petrified someone is going to post something that will add fuel to the flames of those who interrogate you.

It’s another Friday afternoon, and you’re leaving the office early once again. There’s a small craft exhibition taking place around the corner from work and today is the last day it’s open. You had been meaning to go all week, hoping to find something small to add to Kevin’s birthday gift. As you step out of the building there’s a small group of young women, who don’t look old enough to have graduated college, standing off to the side. It fills you with dread, worried that somehow someone found out where you work and the insults are going to start occurring verbally, but you force yourself to be rational. You work fairly close to one of the artsier districts in the city and it’s more than likely they just want to find a cute mural to take pictures in front of.

You pass by and swear you hear them snicker, but you remind yourself you’ve just been jumpy lately. When they peel from their place on the wall and follow behind at a distance you think the coincidences are running out. It seems a little too strange how their movements line up with yours, and you go down a few winding side streets in an attempt to lose them. Part of you feels ridiculous because what group of barely legal girls would track a full-blown adult around a city of nearly two million people, but your life is currently strange enough you can’t be sure. They don’t follow you, and by the time you reach the market your heart rate has returned to normal.

The first few stalls have little to catch your eye, but a few rows in you find a leatherworker who makes adorable wallets. Kevin’s is ridiculously old and falling apart at the seams – his mom bought it for him before the two of you got together. You think a new one will make a perfect addition to the concert tickets you already bought and browse the table for something simple and elegant. A deep brown one with tan braiding around the edges catches your eye and you know it’s the one for Kevin. Checking the price to make sure you have enough cash in your wallet, you approach the shop owner to purchase. The older man has a kind smile that reaches his eyes as he thanks you for purchasing from him.

“No, thank you for making something so beautiful!” you gush. “My boyfriend is going to love it.”

It’s then you hear it – snickering accompanied by the click of a camera. You look over your shoulder to see the same group of girls from before laughing as they huddle over a cell phone, no doubt already starting to broadcast the photo across the internet. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. Those girls don’t deserve to see their mission accomplished, but the longer they laugh at you the harder it is to swallow your feelings.

Head held high, you thank the owner one more time before holding your head high and walking past the group. The only way out is past them so you hold your breath and pray they don’t notice you. Unfortunately you aren’t that lucky, and one of them looks up just as you come into earshot.

“If Kevin doesn’t leave you after that sorry excuse for a gift I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she sneers.

Another one chimes in, “You’re honestly so pathetic.” They all cackle in amusement, and you speed up. The tears flow freely now, and you call an uber even though it will be a ridiculous amount of money. You just want to get home.

The uber driver doesn’t say anything when you get in, though you know it’s strange to be bawling your eyes out at four in the afternoon. You can’t help it – weeks of keeping all the hate to yourself finally got to you and being followed with the sole intent of ridicule is the final straw. At one red light he silently passes you a box of tissues, which you accept gratefully.

Luckily the lobby of your apartment complex is empty and you manage to get to your floor without encountering a familiar face. There’s a few hours until Kevin gets home from his final roadtrip of the season, and if you play your cards right you can get all the tears out and be as normal as possible before he comes through the door. You don’t even bother to put anything away, just head straight to the bathroom to slump against the tub. Sobs rack your body and you lose all sense of time. All you can feel is the hurt you’ve been holding in releasing itself and soaking the material of your blouse.

Kevin finds you laying in the position hours later. He tripped over your shoes coming in the door and immediately knew something was wrong – you always place them neatly on the rack in the closet upon arriving home. Peering through the quiet house for a hint at where you are, he sees the bathroom light on and makes a beeline for the room. It breaks his heart to see you like this, and even more so because he doesn’t know what spurred it on.

“Sweetheart, hey,” he coos, maneuvering his body to sit beside you and pull you into his lap. “What’s the matter?”

You bury your head in his shoulder and clutch the material of his dress shirt as you cry harder at the sound of his voice. Kevin takes your reaction in stride, rubbing circles on your back and working on evening out your breath. He doesn’t pressure you to speak and provides the stability you desperately crave as the world around you spins. An unknown amount of time passes before your tears run out, but spend it all on the bathroom floor curled into Kevin.

“I guess I should have told you sooner,” you mumble, “But I didn’t want to bother you.”

Concern laces Kevin’s features and his eyebrows knit together. “Tell me what?”

“I, uh, have been the subject of some internet hate for the past little bit,” you say sheepishly. It feels stupid to not have told him now, but you can’t change that. “But you were really busy with the season and I wanted to make sure your head was completely focused on the game so I just dealt with it myself. I deleted the apps and tried my best to go about my life. And then today after work I was followed by some people and they said some really hurtful stuff and shit became a little too real.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

It’s your turn to be confused. “Why are you sorry Kev? You're Not the one sending me death threats.”

He tucks a loose strand of hair back into your ponytail. “Maybe not, but I still made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about what was going on. What kind of partner am I?”

“The best one,” you say confidently. “It’s okay, I’m okay. I just want to forget about it right now. Can we just disappear for a little bit?”

Kevin wraps his arms around you tighter, as if he can engulf you to protect from the cruel outside world. “We can do whatever you want. If you want to get out of the city for a bit if you want, or just spend the next few days here away from prying eyes.”

“I love you.”

You say it because you mean it, and if you could scream it from the rooftops you would. Kevin is incredibly easy to love, even when you make it difficult for him to love you back. You know another much longer conversation is coming about everything that has happened recently because communication is the only way to solve problems and Kevin deserves that, but you’re thankful he’s willing to put it to rest for a few more moments.

He cracks a smile for the first time since he’s been home and kisses the crown of your head. “I love you too sweetheart,” he whispers, “Always and forever.”

Things are far from over and though you still never want to show your face in public ever again, you know that Kevin is going to do whatever he can to make things better and that’s enough for you.

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @ricohenrique @tortito @boqvistsbabe @iwantahockeyhimbo @himbos-on-ice @2manytabsopen if you want to be added just shoot me an ask :)

#i don't love this but here it is!!! #one day i'll like the stories i write #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes fic #philadelphia flyers imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey imagine #hockey fic #cwrites #sour

[wondersofdreaming]

Lost Boys - THREE

Characters: August Walker / Captain Syverson / Walter Marshall

Word count: 2.389

Warnings: Family reunion. Memory overload. Realization. Hurt. Self-loading.

Author’s note: Everything in this story is a figment of my imagination, with inspiration and snippets from the movies ‘Mission: Impossible - Fallout’, ‘Sand Castle’, ‘Nomis/Night Hunter’. This is pure fanfiction. If something doesn’t make sense, it’s not supposed to.

I do now own any of the characters from the movies that I write about in this story. Only the OFC’s are mine.

Tag: @katerka88​ @littlefreya​ @hell1129-blog​ @radaofrivia​ @gothwhopper​ @fcgrizi​ @vania-marie​ @mary-ann84​ @sciapod​ @mitzwinchester​ @omgkatinka​ @mis-lil-red (your tag isn’t working 😢)

MASTERLIST

Feedback is appreciated. Seriously, please tell me all the good and bad stuff, else I won’t be able to develop into a better writer if I don’t know what I’m doing right and wrong. I swear I don’t bite.

[ONE] [TWO] [FOUR] [FIVE] [SIX] [SEVEN] [EIGHT] [NINE] [TEN]

Lucas was sent home to Georgia to heal. Joshua, the Syverson’s biological son, flew across the Atlantic Ocean to meet and bring him home. Silvia Syverson was a stern woman, and when she wanted her younger son to pick up her adoptive older son that is what she would get. His brother had been curious about what had happened, as a medical practitioner he was also compassionate and wanted to help in any way he could.

A 12-hour plane ride later Lucas was back in his childhood home, lying in his old bedroom filled with rock music posters. On his dresser sat an old boombox and next to it, a towering stack of CDs.

Silvia had demanded he got some rest. There he was. Staring at the ceiling like a good little boy. Fuck. He was a captain in the US Army. He had seen death and destruction enough to last two lifetimes, and he was still a little momma’s boy.

After dinner that evening, Lucas asked his mother for the things he had with him when he was sent to be fostered by them.

“Are you sure you want to rip up in the past?” Silvia asked him, her brows pushed together in concern.

“Ma, I need to know.”

She sighed and motioned for him to follow her. Joshua was right behind the two. All three entered the basement and towards the wall filled with stacks of boxes.

“One of them should be labelled Trevor Thompson.”

Lucas started lifting his uninjured arm to one of the top boxes, but a steely look from his mother made him back away and sit on the stairs.

“Joshua, come help your old mother,” Silvia commanded her younger son, who was snickering behind his older brother.

“There’s nothing old about you, ma,” the younger man said and kissed his mother’s cheek. He started taking box after box down. Of course, the box that belonged to Trevor Thompson was at the bottom of the pile.

It contained Trevor’s birth certificate, fostering papers, adoption papers, name changing papers, and a black photo album. Lucas opened it with one hand and a pair of blue eyes were staring right back at him. The same colour as his own haunted eyes. Beneath the photo was written ‘Jennifer Thompson’. The next page shocked him even more. ‘William Thompson’, Lucas was the spitting image of him, besides the eye colour. In his dream, his father was always too far away to get a close enough look besides some minuscule features.

“Wow, Luc, you look just like your dad,” Joshua exclaimed, “You even have the same freckle on your lower lip.”

“Josh, that is creepy as hell that you notice stuff like that,” Lucas looked at his brother with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m a doctor, I would be a terrible one, if I didn’t notice the little things. Now turn the page and let’s see those brothers of yours.”

Lucas sighed, preparing himself mentally to take a look at his biological brothers. Brothers he couldn’t remember until a week ago. They had shared a womb, so why the hell couldn’t he remember them?

Silvia noticed the change in her son. She put a hand on his good shoulder and squeezed. He looked into her green eyes that were giving him the confidence to face the past.

“Lucas, you were five years old. Don’t beat yourself up for not remembering.”

“I just have this feeling that we were so very close as children. I feel bad for forgetting them. They are my brothers. I’d do anything for my brothers, those in the army and even Josh.”

“Gee thanks, bro.”

Lucas chuckled and turned the page. Three identical young boys were smiling back at him. One of them had a front tooth missing. Probably himself. He couldn’t even see the difference between who was who in that picture. Only the names under each boy answered his question.

Trevor, Oliver and James.

“Aw, Luc, look at how innocent you looked once. Now you’re a grumpy old man with a beard,” Joshua was teasing him. Lucas ignored his little brother and looked at the next page, which was of the entire family sitting on a porch swing all together, laughing and smiling. The boys were smaller, maybe three years old at the time.

A sense of sadness washed over him. The flush of some childhood memories overwhelmed him. Lucas closed the book. He handed it back to his mother and walked away from the basement. Both mother and brother calling his name, he didn’t listen, just kept walking. He needed to be alone, to collect his thoughts. His mind was flooding with a million memories, his heart was racing, his legs just kept walking, until he was standing at the end of the driveway. He went into a sprint and ran as fast as he could to the beach, or as fast as his broken arm would allow him.

The beach was almost void of people. Only a few were out swimming or walking along the edge of the water. Lucas sat down and just let his mind wander. Letting all the memories in. His brain was throbbing, the feeling was like it wanted to escape from the cramped space of his skull.

Memories of smiles, laughter, love. He remembered the devastating feeling when two policemen came to the front door and told their neighbour, who had been watching over them, that their parents had died. A social worker, Marcy Kane, had taken care of the boys until they were divided into new families. He remembered a lot of yelling and screaming.

“They are only young boys. You shouldn’t separate them. They need each other!” Marcy roared at her boss.

“Nobody wants to take in three boys at the same time, so either you calm down, or you are off the case.”

The next he remembered was Marcy crouching in front of the three boys. They hadn’t said a word since the news of their parents’ death. They had vowed not to talk or be happy again without their parents.

“James, Oliver, Trevor. I’m sorry.” She started and hugged each boy in her warm embrace. It nearly made Trevor cry. As the eldest of three, he needed to stay strong for his brothers.

The families came and picked up each of the boys, separating them, forcing them apart from each other. Marcy put the medallion of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton over each boy before they departed. None of the boys cried. They had made another pact, to find each other when they were old enough. A vow all three of them forgot as they grew up.

Now it was time to make that vow come true.

Lucas stood and brushed the sand from his well-shaped ass. With a clear mind, he walked home to get some sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

Joshua drove him to city hall. They released his papers but there was nothing hinting where his brothers had ended up.

Back home he called an old army buddy, Aiden, who had started a private detective company when he was released from the military. It took Aiden a few hours before he called back.

“Aiden, any news?” Lucas asked the minute he answered the phone.

“Yeah. I have some good and a whole mountain of bad, which one do you want first?” His friend told him.

“Give me the good ones. You found my brother? James?”

“I did. He was sent to live with a family in Minnesota. He’s still there. He changed his name to Walter Matthew Marshall, and guess what, he’s a police detective. He used to be S.W.A.T. and, dude, he has a daughter.”

“I have a niece?”

“Yes, congratulations Uncle Lucas. Are you ready for the bad news?”

“Hit me.”

“The brother, Oliver, you met in Iraq, he was moved to Virginia and changed his name to August Christopher Walker.”

“August? What the fuck kind of name is that? August is a month, not a name.”

“That’s not the worst part. Lucas, he was in the CIA.”

“He was definitely well trained. What else?”

“He rebelled.”

“What do you mean ‘rebelled’? What did he do?”

“Luc… your brother is wanted for planning to set off nuclear bombs around the world.”

Lucas nearly dropped his phone. His parents and brother were giving him worried looks. He went to sit down on the sofa before telling Aiden to continue.

“They thought he had died somewhere north of India, but they haven’t found his body. And there’s a warrant for his head from all the intelligence agencies around the globe.”

“How much?”

Nothing. Aiden kept his mouth shut.

“Aiden, tell me. How much?”

A heavy sigh could be heard through the speaker.

“A hundred.”

“A hundred what? Just a hundred? A hundred thousand? Spit it out, man.”

“A hundred million dollars. All the agencies want him gone, Lucas.”

“What does the warrant say? Dead or alive?”

“Both.”

Lucas groaned in frustration. What the hell had his brother done? Why had he done it? What happened to him?

“Thanks, Aiden. I really appreciate your help.”

“No problem. Call me if you need any help. Any kind of help.”

“Will do.”

Lucas pushed the end button and threw the phone on the coffee table. His mother came to sit next to him. She touched his left bicep, trying to comfort him without saying anything.

“What now?” Joshua asked and sat on his other side.

“I don’t know.”

“Son, look at me,” his adoptive father, John Syverson, was a rather large man himself. Don’t be fooled by his grey hair and grey beard, he might look like a nice old man, but he could kill people with a spoon. Lucas heard the authoritative tone in his general father’s voice and looked into the compassionate green eyes. “What are my rules?”

“Always be kind.” Joshua and Lucas said at the same time.

“Treat your woman like a queen,” Silvia chimed in.

“Don’t judge people based on the first look,” Joshua continued.

“Don’t do things to make other people happy, do them to make yourself happy,” Silvia smiled.

“And never leave a brother behind,” Lucas’ voice was firm. His mind was made up.

“I’ll book you a ticket to Minnesota.”

“Who’s going to Minnesota?” A soft female voice said from the hall. Four pair of eyes looked at the curvaceous woman entering the living room. The Syverson’s only daughter, who had been born a year after they had adopted Lucas. Her long curly brown hair was put up in a bun, her glasses sitting at the edge of her pretty little nose. She had her father’s deep green eyes.

“Melanie, darling, we didn’t know you were coming home,” Silvia exclaimed and went to hug her daughter.

“I heard through the grapevine that the captain was home, so I had to come home and say hello,” Melanie smirked at Lucas and squeezed his left side, avoiding his casted arm.

“Good to see you, shorty. How’s the University treating you?” Lucas asked and kissed his sister’s forehead. She went to get kisses and hugs from her other brother and father, before plumbing down with a huge sigh on the armchair.

“I love my job. I love that I can do research all day long, I never get tired of that, but lately…” She started.

“Lately, what?” Joshua gave his sister a quizzical look.

“Lately it’s been a bit boring. It’s too much of the same. I know it is what I signed up for when I accepted the job, but I was also promised more fieldwork, where I would be able to travel and study the texts, ceramics, and people up close, not from a computer where someone is streaming. So, I’m taking a sabbatical, one year where I figure out, if I still want to do desk research or if I need to find a job that is better suited for what I want and need.”

Silvia and John gave each other a look that only a married couple could give. They were communicating non-verbally. Lucas looked at his parents.

“No,” he said sternly. “Not in a million years.”

“You need someone to help you,” Silvia told her son in the same hard voice.

“I can take care of myself.”

“You’ll need help with the cast.”

“Josh can help me.”

“Sorry, bro. I have to be back at work on Monday.”

Lucas sighed and turned to the young woman, who had put her hair down. Her long curl cascading down her shoulder.

“Melanie, will you come with me to Minnesota?” He said through gritted teeth.

“Anything for you, Luc. What’s going on in Minnesota?”

“We’re going to find my brothers.”

Lucas had filled his sister in on his history. She had taken one look at all his documents and said she would figure out why in the world they had to be separated into three different states. They dropped their belongings off at a nearby hotel, walking to the precinct where Walter Marshall worked.

The secretary at the front desk didn’t even look up when they entered and just told them where to go.

“Hey Marshall, when did you break your arm? And I thought you said something ‘bout never wanting to cut your hair.” A young man, fresh from the police academy by the looks of it, was yelling from the other side of the room. He walked over and gave Melanie an appreciative look over. Lucas clenched his left hand into a fist; it wasn’t his dominant hand, but he could still break the little fucker’s nose.

“Hi, we’re looking for Walter Marshall, could you direct us to his office?” Melanie asked as she blinked a few times. Lucas smiled; he knew the look in her eyes. The charm-glare as he called it. That look that had gotten her out of trouble countless times.

“Well, miss, he’s right here,” he motioned at Lucas.

“Cade, get back to work or I’ll wring your neck,” a deep grumpy voice said behind them. Lucas turned around to look into another mirror version of himself. Walter Marshall was standing with his leg spread, his arms crossed over his broad chest, wearing a black jumper. His eyes widened as he looked at Lucas. “My office, now.”

#Henry Cavill #This man #Lost Boys #Series #My story #Fanfiction #Chapter three #Triplets #August Walker #Captain Syverson #Walter Marshall #I need a drink #henry cavill fanfic

[ongaku-ato-kakikomi]

Could we get a continuation on the proposal head cannon with wedding head cannon

(A/N): Here you go, hun. I hope you’ll like these headcanons

Miranda Vanderbilt:

○ If you think you’re not getting the most expensive wedding in the entire universe, you’re wrong.

○ Miranda is a princess who wants everything to be perfect and traditional, so she’s gonna get what she wants.

○ That means classic cake, classic white dress, ‘90s dance hits, and abundance of food and a pretty venue… but all of it upgraded to an even higher level.

○ And you know some of her servants have died because of minor mistakes

○ The wedding is obviously going to happen back into her palace, with her royal family and subjects.

○ Of course, your own family and friends are invited, because she wants you to be happy too.

○ You and Miranda spend the whole morning separated because she takes this very seriously and doesn’t want to bring your wedding any bad luck.

○ “We can’t see each other yet! Or else the universe will doomed us!”

○ You find it rather cute, and so despite wanting to see her and hold her close, you do what she says and prepare in another room than hers.

○ Her serfs are the one doing your hair and makeup, and they’re doing an amazing job at it.

○ It doesn’t take long for you to start stressing about everything, because it’s the happiest day of your life and anything could go wrong.

○ But every worry disappears when you see her in her white dress, her eyes sparkling brighter than the sun.

○ You’re not even scared by her father accompanying her beside her, because all you can see is her.

○ And when you both say “I do”, you couldn’t be happier.

○ She cries when you say your vows, and she barely manages to say hers.

○ It’s a very traditional wedding, but it’s the most beautiful one that had ever existed.

○ And thanks to Miranda, you have ten photo albums to remember it together.

Damien LaVey:

○ You already know that this wedding is gonna happen in Hell, so it’s not gonna be a normal one.

○ Damien loves dark and creepy things, and maybe you do too, so the wedding’s theme is gonna be dark and absolutely amazing.

○ No torturing happening around as to not disturb anything, because Damien might love torturing souls, but he loves you more.

○ Although… torturing souls might be part of one of the reception’s activities… but shhh

○ The classic wedding song where you march towards your future spouse is definitely played in a metal genre, because why the hell not?

○ Also your wedding dress is a dark black that matches perfectly with Damien’s tuxedo (if you’re wearing a dress, that is).

○ It’s a dress (or tuxedo) that he helped you picked out because he has a great sense of style and there’s no way he’s gonna let his other half walk around wearing garbage.

○ So yeah, he doesn’t care about the bad and good luck myths of weddings.

○ “I’m the Prince of Hell, babe. Our wedding is gonna go exactly like we planned it or I’ll lose it.”

○ He’s the one who did your hair and makeup, which almost took forever because he wanted it to be perfect in both his and your eyes, but you’re really glad you got to spend most of the morning with him.

○ One of his dads happily marched with you, and the other one took care of binding your souls together.

○ Yes. Binding your souls. This is a hardcore version of marriage, you have to deal with it.

○ You’re more than glad though, because you couldn’t imagine binding your soul to anyone else and neither does he.

○ It’s a wedding that everyone will remember, not only because of how different and edgy it is, but also because of how much love you two showed each other.

Scott Howl:

○ Your wedding would be big and somewhere in the outdoors, preferably in the woods, because Scott’s family is absolutely gigantic and every single one of the members is a werewolf.

○ It’s something that you had anticipated in the preparation of the wedding, along with the menu that you knew would need to be very meaty because of them, and so your wedding was perfectly arranged to welcome a hundred of hungry werewolves.

○ Scott was very grateful that you didn’t complain about the things you had to do because of his family, and you could see that he was very happy with everything you had done.

○ Because let’s face it, Scott wouldn’t be able to help you prepare the wedding properly.

○ Why? Probably because he would lose his concentration after five seconds and go play with a random butterfly he spotted earlier.

○ But you love him and you know he wants to help, so you include him in every little thing you have to do without actually expecting him to do any work.

○ And despite all the struggle to get it done…

○ … everything was worth it in the end.

○ You felt so happy when you finally marched towards your one true love, the forest welcoming you with bright colors and an amazing smell while the sun felt warm against your skin.

○ But the best part was seeing Scott looking right back at you, a wide smile on his lips while his eyes watered in happiness.

○ Everything was absolutely perfect, even with his cousins whistling and screaming at you two to just kiss already (even though you haven’t even started the ceremony yet), and the whole crowd erupted in huge acclamations when you did kiss.

○ Then the whole wedding turned to this huge family party with lots of wine and upbeat music, the children chasing after each other in a wild game of tag.

○ But you didn’t care, because those people were now your family too.

○ And you couldn’t be happier to be part of Scott’s future.

Liam de Lioncourt:

○ You were already so happy that Liam wanted to marry you despite how cliché it was, you didn’t want to give him something that would make him feel uncomfortable.

○ So you crossed the ‘big princess wedding’ off of your list and instead prepared a small one with him, with only a few members of your families and friends.

○ You didn’t mind that at all, because you’ve proved each other multiple times that your love is your own, and you have absolutely nothing to prove to anyone.

○ And big or a small wedding isn’t gonna change the fact that you’re promising to love each other for eternity.

○ But Liam knows you always wanted a beautiful wedding, and so he rents a small venue and actually invests time with you into picking flowers and colors.

○ It’s a beautiful compromise between the two of you so that you can both be happy with it.

○ The fact that it’s a small wedding makes it all so much more intimate and special to the two of you.

○ You were so beautiful to his eyes that Liam felt compelled to compliment you the whole day, without caring about how lovey-dovey he might have sound.

○ It’s his wedding day, it’s the one day he gets to be as romantic and cliché as he wants without getting judged.

○ Also, Liam is lowkey the best dancer in the entire universe and you have difficulties to follow him sometimes

○ While your friends are getting drunk at the reception, you would probably sneak out without getting noticed to have some alone time, and go to a secret spot where you had one of your first dates.

○ It’s just a cute and adorable wedding that warms both of your heart, no matter how hard you might cringe in a couple of hundred years.

Polly Geist:

○ You didn’t get a chance to say one word about the type of wedding you wanted that Polly already screamed something:

○ “Let’s have a beach wedding!”

○ She then went on to all the good things that come with a beach wedding: first off, a beach, then the ocean, also the bright and warm sun, and finally, the huge possibility to make the most amazing beach party of all the time.

○ It didn’t take long for you to agree with her (mostly because you knew she wouldn’t stop talking about it if you didn’t agree), and the two of you went on to prepare the wedding.

○ Somehow Polly’s the one who takes care of almost everything.

○ She’s very passionate about your upcoming wedding and she wants it to be absolutely perfect for both you and her.

○ Though, she hides it with well-played jokes, but you always manage to see right through her.

○ You think it’s sweet that she cares so much, and you trust her with all of your heart, so you let her manage everything.

○ Turns out she prepared the most beautiful beach wedding you could ever ask for, both of you holding hands the whole time the judge was marrying you.

○ You loved feeling the breeze in your hair and smelling the salty water, but what you loved the most was the passion in Polly’s eyes.

○ She actually becomes a blushy mess when she says her vows, scared that she’s gonna mess it up.

○ It’s so adorable, you can’t help but give her lips a small kiss.

○ “Wait, you’re not married yet!”

○ That outburst from the judge made everyone laugh.

○ But it cheers you hear when you finally share a passionate kiss.

○ Then music had blaster all around and people with trays full of drinks arrived.

○ “Hell yeah! Now let’s get this party started!”

Vera Oberlin:

○ Let’s be clear, she’s the one who took charge of everything.

○ This is her wedding, it’s gonna be as perfect as she wants it to be.

○ Of course you reminded her that it’s your wedding too, and so she included you in some of the wedding stuff.

○ But you know she loves you and wants your happiness, so you were a hundred percent sure you would love the wedding she’s planning.

○ And you were right.

○ Much like Damien, the wedding’s theme is very dark.

○ The decoration is a Victorian-style exploiting somber colors, and sinister music is played during the ceremony.

○ She can tell you really like it and she’s so glad.

○ Also, very much like Liam, it’s a rather small wedding, which doesn’t surprise you.

○ Because Vera made a lot of enemies in the past and doesn’t want any of them to ruin her day.

○ But also because she doesn’t know a lot of people she would want to share this incredible moment with.

○ Aside from you, her family and a couple of friends, there’s no need for anyone else.

○ She says her vows first, like she told you when she proposed, and you can’t help but cry at them.

○ It makes her feel proud because she worked really hard on her vows, but also, she’s happy that she managed to make you feel all of her love for you.

○ She also almost cries when you say yours.

○ Almost.

○ It might be her wedding day, but she’s still Vera Oberlin and she will not cry in front of people.

○ The wedding ends up being sinisterly beautiful, and you wouldn’t trade it for any other wedding in the world.

○ Because it’s a wedding where you get to have Vera as your wife, and that’s the only thing you could ever ask for.

#monster prom #monster prom imagine #monster prom imagines #monster prom x reader #monster prom scenarios #miranda vanderbilt #miranda vanderbilt imagine #miranda vanderbilt imagines #miranda vanderbilt x reader #damien lavey #damien lavey imagine #damien lavey imagines #damien lavey x reader #scott howl #scott howl imagine #scott howl imagines #scott howl x reader #liam de lioncourt #liam de lioncourt imagine #liam de lioncourt imagines #liam de lioncourt x reader #polly geist #polly geist imagine #polly geist imagines #polly geist x reader #vera oberlin #vera oberlin imagine #vera oberlin imagines #vera oberlin x reader #imagine

[amphtaminedreams]

The Eras of Lana Del Rey: Lookbook no.9

Hi to anyone reading,

Hope you’re okay! AND that you didn’t end up here because you searched the Lana Del Rey tag so you could see people ranting about her-you’re about to be very disappointed. Sorry. This is not about to be some Question for the Culture discourse because the world is bleak enough right now and the last thing we all need is to be reminded of that saga. 

Being a Lana Del Rey fan is easy, they said. She’s not a controversial artist, they said. And yet 2020 had to do what it does best and fuck everything up. 

Whether people like her or not, it’s made me so angry reading all the abuse she’s been getting about her appearance for the last couple of weeks, because I really thought that if we could agree on anything it was that attacking individuals for the way they look because you dislike something they’ve done (with the exception of shit like racist tattoos and blackfishing) is, you know, awful and judgemental as fuck? Like you do realise when you treat the word fat as a pejorative that the fat people you don’t have a problem with understood that you meant it as an insult too? I think what all those people tweeting about Lana’s weight, and that includes some of her fans, are forgetting is that she was in her early 20s when she was thrust into the limelight. As much as there’s this conspiracy that her dad bought her a career in the music industry, she’d made the decision to go it alone and had lived in a trailer park as a struggling musician for years. On top of that, we have the unreleased tracks with lyrics seemingly referencing an eating disorder in her younger years. OF COURSE her body is going to look different. Why is it that we treat weight gain as an inherently bad thing without any insight into the other factors that constitute a person’s “health”? It’s fucking insane that so many feel they have the right to comment on other’s bodies in the first place and it breaks my heart that she might be reading these comments. This wasn’t intended to necessarily be a rant about how much I love this woman but all the shit I’ve read about her on the internet these past few months have pushed me to it. You'll respect your queen of alternative music or I shall stan twice as hard on your behalf. You can thank me later when you come to your senses xoxo

I’d love to say it was intentional that I finally finished this post the week Violet Bent Backwards Over the Grass was released but that would imply I have my shit way more together than I actually do. If I’m being completely honest, I’ve only heard L.A Who am I to Love You so far 1). because I want to wait for the hard copy for the rest and that doesn’t turn up til September and 2). because I do not have my shit together, lol. That being said, there is no doubt in my mind that I am going to love it-one thing I have always loved about Lana’s lyrics is how well they paint a picture and this is something that poetry only more freely allows for the exploration of. That ability to create such a strong narrative voice and atmosphere is a talent that extends to her visuals and the production of her records too, and is something I really missed when it comes to the Norman Fucking Rockwell era. I’m just going to say it: a strong aesthetic is to NFR as memorable songs are to Lust for Life. Lacking. Am I allowed to say that as a fan? The collaborations don’t do it for me, okay, and as as NFR is concerned, aside from The Greatest/Fuck It I Love You video which went down the whole neon surfer girl route, it’s hard to identify a cohesive theme. It’s understandable that at this point, she would want to just focus purely on the music, and it goes without saying that NFR will stand the test of time in that regard but I don’t think we can deny that when people think of Lana in the future, it’s not gonna be a green windbreaker that comes into their heads.

^Illustration credit to Filip Kozak (https://filipkozaksart.tumblr.com/?fbclid=IwAR3vwLX2pNxoFNhTPD1ky14LllPqlLtL1GxGlD79xuHxdtzcHLw-6aNBZWo)

And here’s where this Filip Kozak illustration comes into it; after years of it sitting in my camera roll for years, it finally has a use. There’s really nothing better to illustrate how mundane life has become this year than the disproportionate level of excitement my photo-hoarding-self experienced realising it would fit perfectly into this post and is thus eligible for deletion. Up there with being able to fit a whole box of biscuits onto the shelf at work rather than having to individually take out as many as I can and then shove them on top of the existing box of biscuits one by one. Truly riveting content on this Tumblr page. Back to the point-by using this as my stimulus for the post rather than the Lana Del Rey albums as outfits tag that went round on Twitter, I can conveniently exclude NFR as an outfit inspiration category, and that saves me from having to buy a charity shop windbreaker with its price bumped up 150% by some upper middle class Depop e-girl or boy who uses the word peng as a descriptor like it’s a nervous tic. To make up for leaving out NFR, I’ve tried to branch out a bit and do the outfits not just based on the music videos or album covers but also from street style and stage looks and photoshoots from around the same period too. It was hard not to be influenced by the general “vibe” and sound of the albums either when I was planning outfits, whether it’s the grand, orchestral instrumentals of Born to Die or the 70s psychedelic rock inspired riffs of Ultraviolence and hopefully that’ll show as well! Enjoy:D

Born to Die (Release Date: 27th January 2012)

It’s been 8 years, and when you ask most people what they think of when they hear the name Lana Del Rey, they’ll probably dismiss her as the one who sings about being sad and doing coke and sleeping with older men. That’s the Born to Die impact. Say what you want but it’s one of only a handful of albums released by a female artist to have spent more than 300 weeks on the Billboard 200 chart and it really established the mythos of “Lana Del Rey” because before all this, before all the think pieces from other women claiming she’d set feminism back hundreds of years with her music, before she ousted grayscale Effy Stonem as the queen of angsty teen Tumblr (which as you can probably guess was a subsection of the internet I was very much engulfed by, lmao), she was just Lizzie Grant, a relatively normal aspiring singer songwriter in her early twenties. But as Lana Del Rey, she was someone else-some beautiful, mystical being that personified the sentiment of being born in the wrong era. Whilst every other singer’s record labels seemed to be trying desperately to thrust them into the future and keep them on top of all the musical and stylistic trends, it was refreshing to hear someone whose music and visuals captured all the most glamorous elements of the past. Part Priscilla Presley/Jackie O reincarnation (the National Anthem video really illustrated how Lana is just as much a storyteller as she is a musician), part high level mobster’s wayward wife à la Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface, she was the good girl by day and the bad girl by night, and I think that’s a duality we can all relate to or would like to think we’re interesting enough to relate to deep down.

Her style from around this period was EVERYTHING. She had those grungy Tumblr girl elements, the camo jacket and the oversized pieces and the leather jackets, but she also heavily drew on the styles and silhouettes of the 50s and 60s with the beehives and the new look Dior inspired cinched waist dresses. Even now in 2020, I think this period is what most people would think if they were asked to describe Lana’s style. I made sure I got the grungy pieces in there with the chunky boots and the vinyl and the oversized leather but the foundation of her looks back then were usually these daintier throwback pieces like the white silk dress and the corset and the mint fur trimmed coat (House of Sunny’s Penny Pistachio coat).

Favourite lyrics from the album? “Now my life is sweet like cinnamon, like a fucking dream I'm living in” from Radio. Nobody asked but I’m gonna give it to you anyway.

Born to Die: The Paradise Edition (Release Date: 9th November 2012)

Lana’s Paradise EP contains probably my absolute favourite song of her’s, Ride, and with that, the beautiful opening monologue that will stay in my mind forever. This era was of course ushered in by Tropico, the short film that included the premiere of the songs Bel Air, Body Electric and Gods and Monsters, which established the ethereal tone of this period-it’s in the name, after all. Both the album and the videos were other-worldly and leaned heavily on religious symbolism which I’m sure pissed off many a middle-aged bible basher at the time. Most prominent in her lyrics were reflections on the freedom of the open road which corresponded with visuals of biker gangs and desert dwellers and modern interpretations of the Wild West, as was an attempt to capture the nature of the so-called “American spirit” which as Lana portrayed it shared more qualities with a kind of celestial, transient being than any kind of solid concept or identity. She played an emotionally detached stripper and a haunted saloon-style-bar singer (almost looking like a runaway bride) and Eve the “first woman” all in the same album and honestly, if that’s not iconic, I don’t know what is. We saw SO many incredible red carpet looks in this period too which built upon this idea of her as the fallen angel tempted by original sin that Tropico established; I feel like this era was all about laying bare the soul of the character she played, this broken, delicate but ultimately liberated being that was so dangerous to the idea of the strong, stable modern feminist ideal. She went about it in COMPLETELY the wrong way in a post that betrayed the ignorance of the privilege she has as a white female performer, but I think this is what she was getting at in it and Ultraviolence only went on to bolster her critics.

In response to the criticism she still receives about the choice to wear a Native American war bonnet in her Ride music video, I’d like to say that it really seems like she’s learnt from that-actions speak louder than words and so though it’s not my place to say whether this makes up for that error, the work she’s done with Native American reparations-focussed foundations since and the money she’s donated to the cause says a lot about her intentions. Again, I want to stress that it’s not my place to say! But it’s a detail that is often overlooked so I thought I’d mention it here. 

“I was a singer, not a very popular one. I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet. But upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky, that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken. But I didn’t really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is.”

Ultraviolence (Release Date: 13th June 2014)

AH, Ultraviolence. My favourite of Lana’s albums and imo, a masterpiece. ONE skip. ONE. Sorry Guns and Roses. I got stoned in my back garden and listened to this (for research purposes ofc, heh) and ended up deciding that this is what I want to listen to when I die (also whilst stoned). It sounds dramatic but listening to this album in that state of mind is such a heavenly experience that I’d be too zen to notice myself slipping away into nothingness on the basis that if I didn’t as long as I could stay in that bubble of awe, nothingness forever wouldn’t be so scary after all. I know, I know, that sentence has big Jaden Smith’s old tweets energy. But if an album is what helps me get over an existential crisis, I beg you allow me the nonsensical ramblings about how I felt like I was ascending into the stars.

Though in terms of the lyrical content the public perception is probably correct, I think the reputation Ultraviolence has as Lana’s darkest, most gothic album (which is something I’ve in incorporated into the outfits I put together) is mistaken; instrumentally and visually it drew more on 70s psychedelic rock and the bohemian counter culture of the period than anything, and her stage looks are a clear reflection of that, and also the outfits I was most excited to channel. It seems counter-intuitive to the moody atmosphere I associate the tracklist with but it’s my go-to summer album; it’s raw (probably her most stripped back work along with NFR, lots of the songs are barely edited) and it’s gloomy but let’s be real, hot as fuck-don’t bother making a sex playlist, just put Ultraviolence on shuffle, and you’re good to go. This was the album where Lana debuted some of her most criticised lyrics and where the notion that she glamourises abuse comes from, one of the points she also seemed to be getting at in the Instagram post, but imo it’s fair to say that she sang truthfully about the initial allure of a dangerous relationship and the nature of the mindset that facilitates staying with somebody poisonous where you do feel like you’re nothing without them. Turning horrific experiences into romantic tragedies is how Lana has always made her music and yeah, out of context there are some fucked up lyrics on the album, but policing how a woman expresses her trauma and complaining that she glorifies weakness because she wrote honestly about the reality of a complicated partnership is hardly any more “feminist” than the lyrics themselves. I can only guess that the reason Lana felt the need to bring up this criticism in 2020 is because these darker themes are going to be revisited in her upcoming album and that in spite of the issues with the way she expressed herself, this time critics will be more accepting of how she chooses to address these themes. 

On a lighter note “yeah my boyfriend's pretty cool, but he's not as cool as me” will always be a great line. Simple but effective. If my boyfriend ever is cooler than me it’ll be doing Lana a disservice.

Honeymoon (Release Date: 18th September 2015)

Considering that a lot of other Lana fans are of the opinion that this is her best album, I find it weird that I really don’t remember all that much about this period, other than High by the Beach being released and then hearing Salvatore and Freak for the first time. I guess because she didn’t do a Honeymoon specific tour and didn’t make that many public appearances in this period? It was definitely harder for me to find visual reference points beyond the HbtB music video and the cover art, so I mostly drew on the general vibe of the album, a cinematic accompaniment to a summer in Italy or the South of France, filled with exotic instrumentals and the sense of impending romantic doom that Lana does so well. I suppose if I associate the visuals of this era with anything it’s idyllic florals and warm tones, bygone country club pool days, a rich American’s vacation in Southern Europe, long walks on the beach (and as our Lord and Saviour Jujubee once said, big dicks and fried chicken). Apparently inspired by Lana’s relationship with Francesco Carrozini, it’s a hazy story of some ultra-feminine, submissive archetype becoming unhealthily enchanted by a mysterious “foreign man” who’s ultimately not all that good for her, which as the story goes turned out to be quite prophetic. Going against the grain, it’s my least favourite of her albums after Lust for Life, but in spite of that, I will always remember how obsessed I was with the sax riffs (I think? I don’t know my instruments all that well so forgive me, lol) on Freak and I definitely understand why it’s a firm favourite for so many.

“You could be a bad motherfucker, but that don’t make you a man.” was truly a cultural reset of a line.

-on an unrelated note, OMG, I never realised how I have my mouth open in literally every fucking photo I take, somebody tell me how to pose, please and thank you-

Lust for Life (Release Date: 21 July 2017)

Lust for Life is a controversial one. On the one hand, I appreciate that this album was the victory cry of a happier, more independent, politically-aware Lana in spite of it apparently being a far more optimistic sounding album than the one she wanted to release, but on the other there were way too many collaborations for me and this meant that the album lacked a sense of cohesion and the characteristic narrative thread that usually runs throughout her tracklist. Aside from Love, Cherry, Get Free and Tomorrow Never Came, most of the songs on the album aren’t hugely memorable and it’s a crying shame that a collaboration with STEVIE FUCKING NICKS of all people left so much to be desired. Coming from two witchy icons, I expected something absolutely magical so maybe I was setting myself up for failure, but come on. We could’ve had a real anthem there.

Aesthetically speaking however, this is one of my favourite eras for Lana, which is unsurprising when you consider the tracklist contains references to both Woodstock and Coachella. I’m not gonna lie, I think seeing Coachella fashion in my early teens was my style awakening-I remember seeing Vanessa Hudgens’ outfits and being like, wow, I want to be her (oh, what a fall from grace)-so the late 60s/early 70s flower power groupie style Lana adopted in this period really spoke to me. It was all long hair and dreamy pastels, and this era included some of the most head-to-toe coordinated looks we’ve ever seen from her. Of course I couldn’t completely abandon the grungy touches that I love, that I tend to associate with the early Lana street style days and the Paradise and Ultraviolence music videos rather than with this album, but I’m never gonna pass up an opportunity to whack out a good floral two piece and putting together Lust for Life inspired looks is the perfect excuse to do that.

So, that marks the end of this post! If you made it to the end, thank you so much for reading! I have a Yesstyle lookbook and review to edit but now that I’ve finished that, I’m trying to go down more of a style inspiration focussed  route with my lookbooks rather than just putting together outfits from clothes I’ve just bought (though I might still do one every so often to bring in a new season-let’s just ignore the fact that they’re all blending into one bc climate change for now, one catastrophe at a time please universe). I find that if you have a specific idea in mind of what you want, it’s super easy to find something similar on Depop and Ebay and that way you avoid buying new things and also take old things off a person’s hands that might otherwise end up being thrown out by a charity shop and then dumped into a landfill from there. Something I’d LOVE to do before this year is out is put together a lookbook based on the most stylish TV shows of the last decade, but that probably won’t be for a while-even so, if you have any recommendations of series to watch which could fit into this category, let me know! 

To finish, I need to go a little bit off-topic so forgive me, but I truly don’t know why this even needs to be said: WEAR A FUCKING MASK. IT IS NOT A POLITICAL ISSUE. IT IS A BASIC HYGIENIC PRACTICE THAT HELPS SPREAD THE STOP OF A HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS DISEASE! RUDIMENTAL SCIENCE! NOT A CHANCE TO PROVE HOW “EDGY” YOU ARE! SERIOUSLY, STOP MAKING A FUCKING PANDEMIC ABOUT YOURSELF! NOBODY ENJOYS WEARING THEM BUT THEY HELP PROTECT OTHERS! SO UNLESS YOU HAVE A VALID MEDICAL REASON NOT TO BE WEARING ONE, DON’T BE A SELFISH PRICK! 

Sorry to sign off on a rant-y note with something that has nothing to do with Lana, lol, but all the stupidity has been grinding me gears lately and I had to let it out on behalf of all retail workers: if we can wear a mask for 9 hours at a time, YOU can tolerate the mild discomfort of wearing one for 10 minutes. I know this doesn’t apply to the majority of people but there’s always a couple of arseholes, isn’t there!?

Stay safe,

Lauren x

#ldr #lana #lana del rey #fashion #fashion blogger #style blogger #outfit inspo

[winchesterbrotherstan]

SPN- Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things (2.04)

hahahhahah ohhh dean... so naive also freckles :)

Pairing: Olive Winchester (OC)

Summary: While visiting Mary’s grave, the siblings stumble upon a case. Dean’s rage rises to unprecedented levels, Sam tries to hold everything together, and Olive fears losing her brother.

Warnings: cursing, dead person, guns, dean is ANGRY, uh, the usual

Word Count: 6024

I clutched my stomach as we cruised down the road. Sam wanted to visit their mother’s grave, and Dean was having absolutely none of it. We hit a pothole, and the car jumped. I swallowed the spit in my mouth and turned from my back to my side. Jinx was still at Bobby’s, and I was glad. If she was in the car, she would’ve either thrown up or peed everywhere.

“Come on, Sam. I’m begging you.” Dean groaned. “This is stupid.”

“Why?” Sam sighed, puppy eyes most likely on display.

“Going to visit Mom’s grave? She doesn’t even have a grave. There… there was no body left after the fire, Sam.”

“She has a headstone.” Sam whispered.

“Yeah, put up by her uncle, a man we’ve never even met. So you wanna, what, go pay your respects to a slab of granite put up by a stranger? Come on!’

“Dean, that’s not his point!” I sat up in the backseat, leaning forward.

“Oh, then, please, enlighten me, Olive.”

“It’s not about a body. Or a casket. It’s about her memory!” I spat, then turned to Sam with a sad sigh. “Isn’t it, Sams?”

“Yeah. And… Dean, after Dad… it… it just feels like the right thing to do.” He sighed again.

“It’s irrational is what it is.”

I rolled my eyes. “Nobody asked you to come. Sam and I can both drive.”

“Why don’t we just swing by the Roadhouse instead? I mean, we haven’t heard anything on the demon lately. We should be hunting that son of a bitch down.” Dean offered.

Sam and I shared a look and he reached up to pat my hand. “That’s a good idea, Dean. You should. Just drop us off, we’ll hitch a ride, and we’ll meet you there tomorrow.”

“Right.” Dean huffed. “Stuck… stuck with those people, making awkward small talk until you guys show up? No thanks.”

I grinned at Sam, and he leaned his head against my hand with a soft smile. I kissed his head.

“Love ya, baby face.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, you too, bug.”

                                                               ***

Sam was by Mary’s grave. Dean was standing by Dad’s headstone with a serious pout on his face. I watched as Sam dug a small hole by her headstone, then dropped Dad’s dog tags into them.  I glanced back over at Dean, feeling like I had interrupted a sacred moment. He began to walk off, focused on something. I sighed and tightened my jacket around myself.

“Hey, bug?”

My head snapped back to Sam. “Yeah?”

He nodded his head toward the headstone. “Wanna come talk to her?”

My heart jumped in my throat. “But… Sammy…”

“Hey.” He smiled. “It’s okay.” He held a hand out. “Come here.”

I slowly inched over, then huddled into his side as I stared at her headstone. Sam wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

“She would’ve loved you, Ollie.”

I leaned into him with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Sams.”

He only hugged me tighter.

“Hi, Mary…” I sniffled, feeling tears well in my eyes. “I’m Olive. I’m Sam and Dean’s little sister… I wish I could’ve met you. You did a really good job.” I glanced up at Sam, who had his eyes shut and tears falling down his cheeks. “I’ll take care of them for you. I promise.”

I turned and wrapped my arms around Sam’s waist and hugged him as tightly as I could, head in his chest. He chuckled.

“I love you so much.”

I nodded, hugging him tighter. “I love you too.”

“Hey. Angela Mason. She was a student at the local college. Funeral was three days ago.”

I looked straight up at Sam, eyebrows furrowed. He sighed and let go of me, crossing his arms over his chest. I put my hands in my pockets and leaned my cheek against Sam’s arm.

“Okay, and?”

“And? You see the grave?” He pointed at it. “Everything dead around it, in a perfect circle? You don’t think that’s a little weird?”

Sam and I shared another look. “Maybe the groundskeeper went a little agro with the pesticide?”

“No.” Dean shook his head. “No, no, I asked him. No pesticide, no chemicals. Nobody can explain it.”

“Okay…” Sam sighed again.

“So what’re you thinking, Dean?” I cleared my throat.

“I dunno. Unholy ground, maybe?”

“Uh…” Sam blinked as he trailed off, and then looked down to me with an incredulous look on his face.

Is he fucking kidding me?

“What? If something evil happened there, it could easily poison the ground. Remember the uh, the farm outside Cedar Rapids?”

“Well, yeah, bu-”

“Could be a sign of demonic presence. Or, the uh, the Angela girl’s spirit, if it’s powerful enough.”

Sam nodded and turned away with another heavy sigh. Dean looked at me and his hands went up, exasperated. I shrugged.

“Well, don’t get too excited.” Dean scowled. “You might pull something.”

“It’s just…” Sam sighed again and turned back. “Stumbling onto a hunt? Here, of all places?”

“Yeah.” Dean huffed. “So?”

“So… are you sure this is about a hunt, and not something else?”

“What else could it be about?”

Sam let out another heavy sigh, shook his head, and started moving toward the car. “You know, just forget about it.”

“You believe what you want, Sam. But I… I let you drag my ass out here, the least we could do is check this out.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me.

I groaned loudly and threw my head back, annoyed. Dean’s eyebrows only furled deeper. Sam looked at me and I shrugged.

“Yeah.”

“Fine.”

“Girl’s dad works in town. He’s a professor at the school. Let’s go.”

                                                              ***

“Dr. Mason?” Dean knocked on the open door of the office.

“Yes?”

“I’m Sam, this is Dean. This is Olive, our little sister. Uh… my brother and I, we were friends of Angela’s. We… we wanted to offer our condolences.”

“Please, come in.” Dr. Mason gestured us in.

We shuffled in, and he shut the door behind us. Sam and I sat down in the chairs across from his desk as he pulled out a photo album. Dean pulled an old book off a bookshelf and looked at the doc.

“Do you mind?”

“No, not at all, feel free.” He smiled.

Dean flipped through the pages.

I stared at the pictures as Dr. Mason paged through the book. I leaned into Sam’s side with a big sigh.

“She was beautiful.”

“Yes.” Dr. Mason smiled softly. “She was.”

“This is an unusual book.” Dean turned the book toward us.

It had greek letters and a weird triangular symbol carved into it.

“It’s ancient Greek. I teach a course.” Dr. Mason nodded.

Dean sighed as he stood behind my chair. “So… a car accident, that… that’s horrible.”

“Angie was only a mile away from home when, uh…” Dr. Mason sniffled.

“It’s gotta be hard.” Dean’s hands drummed against the chair. “Losing someone like that. Sometimes it’s like they’re s-still around. Almost like you can feel their presence.”

I glanced between him and Sam, who was now perplexed.

“You ever feel anything like that?”

“I do, as a matter of fact.” Dr. Mason kept staring at the picture.

“Well, that’s perfectly normal, Dr. Mason. Especially with what you’re going through.” Sam offered.

“You know, I still phone her.” He sighed. “And the phone’s ringing before I remember that, uh… family’s everything, you know?”

I leaned further into Sam and looked up at Dean.

“Yeah. We know.”

“Angie was the most important thing in my life. And now, I… I-I’m just lost without her.”

Sam nodded. “We’re very sorry.”

                                                              ***

“Guys, I’m telling you, there’s something going on here. We just haven’t found it yet.” Dean’s eyes were wide.

I sighed and tried to focus on my book. Sam said nothing, instead zoning out while staring at the TV.

“Hey.” Dean snapped his fingers in front of my face.

I turned the page. Dean groaned obnoxiously and snatched my glasses off my face.

“Dean! I need those to see, prick!” I tossed the book aside and sat up on my knees, reaching for them.

He held them above my head and tried to keep a serious face.

“Dean!”

“No! Pay attention to me, then you’ll get them back.”

“Sammy!” I whined, turning to him and huffing.

“Dean, so far you’ve got a patch of dead grass and nothing.”

“Well, something turned that grave into unholy ground.” Dean snapped back.

“There’s no reason for it to be unholy ground, Dean. Angela Mason was a nice girl who died in a car crash. That’s not exactly vengeful spirit material. You heard her father.” Sam got to his feet and plucked my glasses back from Dean. “Here you go, bug.”

Dean huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, maybe Daddy doesn’t know everything there is to know about this little angel, huh?”

I rubbed my eyes and slid my glasses back on. “Dean, I don’t think your average teenage girl is evil enough to turn ground unholy.”

“She’s right, Dean. We never should’ve bothered that poor man. We shouldn’t even be here anymore.” Sam put his hands on his hips.

“So what, guys? What, we just bail? Without even figuring out what’s going on?”

Sam shook his head. “I think I know what’s going on here. It’s the only reason I went along with you this far.”

I tilted my head at him.

You lost me.

“What are you talking about?” Dean scowled.

“This is about Mom’s grave.”

I shrunk into the bed and looked down at my hands. I couldn’t play referee on this one.

Dean scoffed. “That’s got nothing to do with it.”

“Dude! You wouldn’t even step within a hundred yards of it. Look, maybe you’re imagining a hunt where there isn’t one so you don’t have to think about Mom. Or Dad.”

Dean turned to him with a look of pain and disgust on his face. Sam sighed and held his arms out wide.

“You wanna take another swing? Go ahead, if it’ll make you feel better.”

Dean shook his head. “I don’t need this crap.”

He pulled on his jacket without a word, then grabbed the car keys. I scooted to the edge of the bed and sighed.

“Dean…”

He came my way and cupped my face, pressing a long kiss to my forehead. He pulled away with a soft smile and rubbed the tip of my nose. I sighed. Dean was having a lot of mood swings lately, which was understandable, but I felt guilty when he was sweet to me and cold to Sam.

“I’ll be back before you know it, princess. Love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Dean, where’re you going?” Sam called as Dean started for the door.

“I’m gonna go get a drink. Alone.”

“Be safe!” I shouted as the door shut behind him.

                                                              ***

Something whacked me in the head and I groaned, turning onto my back before sitting up. I looked down at my side to see that the TV remote had landed next to me.

“Dude, what the hell?”

“Where in the hell were you, Dean?”

I rubbed my head and looked between Sam, who was on the edge of the bed, and Dean, who had just walked in. He glanced between Sam and the TV.

“Hey!” I shouted. “Who the fuck just threw the remote at me?”

Dean and Sam looked at me before quickly pointing at each other. I groaned and threw the remote onto the other bed.

“Dean, where were you?”

“Working my imaginary case. You?”

“I was sleeping.” I deadpanned. “What d’ya got?”

“Well, you two were right. I didn’t find much.”

Sam gave a sympathetic nod and I sighed before going to lay back down.

“Except that Angela’s boyfriend died last night.”

I sat back up and stared at Dean, eyebrows furrowed. He nodded, smug. I rolled my eyes and got to my feet, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Okay, and?”

“He slit his own throat. But you know, that’s normal. Uh, let’s see, what else. Oh, yeah! He was seeing Angela everywhere before he died. But you know, I’m sure that’s just me projecting my own feelings. Ya know, Mercury must be in retrograde.”

I snorted and moved to sit next to Sam. He sighed, defeated.

“Okay. I’m sorry, maybe there is something going on here.”

I turned to him with a glare. “Maybe? You think so, Sams? I mean, wh-what was it? The suicide or the seeing his dead girlfriend part?”

“Hey.” Sam warned.

“She’s right, Sam. I know how to do my job, despite what you might think.”

I sighed. “Okay, we should check out the guy’s apartment.”

Dean leaned against the cabinet with the TV on top of it and crossed his arms. “I just came from there. Pile of dead plants, just like the cemetery. Hell, dead goldfish too.”

“So, unholy ground?”

“Maybe.” Dean sighed. “I’m still not getting that powerful angry spirit vibe from Angela.” He got up and crossed back to the table, where he plucked a pink book out of his jacket pocket. “I have been reading this, though.”

“You rat!” I gasped with a smile on my face.

“You stole the girl’s diary?” Sam was far from impressed.

“Yeah, Sam. And I’d love it if you’d appreciate my genius like Olive does. Anyways, if anything, this girl’s a little too nice.”

“So what do you wanna do?”

“Keep digging. Talk to more of her friends.”

“You get any names?” Sam sighed.

“Are you kidding me?” Dean held the diary up. “I have her bestest friend in the whole wide world.”

                                                              ***

“Hey!” I stumbled to stand as Sam and Dean came down the steps. “What’d we get?”

“Apparently Angela found her boy cheating the night she died.”

I scratched the back of my neck as Dean let out a low whistle. “That’s not ideal.”

Dean snorted. “Well, the vengeful spirit theory’s starting to make a little more sense. I mean, hell hath no fury…”

“So if Angela got her revenge on Matt, you think it’s over?” Sam asked as we climbed into the car.

“Well, there’s one way to be sure.”

Sam titled his head. “What?”

“Burn the bones?” I looked up at Dean, and he nodded.

“Burn the bones.”

Sam scoffed at both of us. “Are you two high?”

Dean and I glanced at each other. I scratched my nose while he cleared his throat. Sam smacked my arm.

“You are fifteen, you should have no clue what being high even is.”

I giggled, and Dean cracked a grin.

“Wait, what’s the issue with burning the bones?” I turned back to Sam.

“Angela died last week!”

“So?”

“Oh…” I grimaced as I realized.

“So, there’s not gonna be bones, Dean. There’s gonna be a ripe, rotting body in that coffin.”

Dean shrugged. “So? Since when are you afraid to get dirty? Huh?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Fine, but Olive stays in the car.”

“Wh-”

“Please.” I begged, sending Dean puppy eyes.

He sighed as he looked at me, then huffed. “Fine.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“Sissy.”

“Call me whatever the fuck you want, Dean, I don’t do corpses. Only bones.”

“We burned the witches down in New Orleans!”

“I threw up, remember!”

“Oh, yeah, you did.” Dean shuddered. “Puked all over my new boots.”

I shrugged. “Sorry.”

Sam stared at us both with a defeated look. He let out a long sigh and turned to stare out the window. I giggled and leaned into his side.

“Let’s just go get this over with.”

                                                              ***

“What’s going on?” I asked as Dean and Sam slammed the trunk shut and scrambled into the car. “Why didn’t you burn the body?”

“There is no body.” Dean scowled.

“What?”

Sam sighed and shook his head. “The coffin was empty.”

I tilted my head. “What the fuck?”

He nodded. “Yeah. There were some symbols in the wood.”

“What symbols?”

Dean pulled out his phone and showed me a picture. I hummed.

“Haven’t we seen those before?”

He nodded. “Yeah. And I know exactly where.”

“Well, where?”

                                                              ***

“Dean, oh my god.” I took a few steps back as Dean pounded on Dr. Mason’s office door.

“Dean, take it easy. Please.” Sam pulled on his shoulders.

The door opened, and Dr. Mason smiled at us. “You’re Angie’s friends, right?”

Sam was the epitome of a gentle giant. His smile was soft, his posture was relaxed, and his tone was warm. “Dr. Mason-”

“We need to talk.” Dean cut him off with a snarl.

“Well, then, come on in.”

Dean pushed past him, and Sam followed, an apologetic smile on his face.

“Thank you, sorry.” I whispered.

Dean didn’t even wait for the door to shut as he whipped out the paper with the symbols. “You teach Ancient Greek. Tell me…” He unfurled the paper. “What are these?”

“I don’t understand.” Dr. Mason squinted, then looked at Sam and I. “Does this have something to do with Angela?”

“It does. Please, just humor me.” Dean snapped.

“They’re part of an ancient Greek divination ritual.”

“Used for necromancy, right?”

Dr. Mason nodded. “That’s right.”

“See, before we came over here, we stopped by the library and did a little homework ourselves. Apparently they used rituals like this one for communicating with the dead. Even bringing corpses back to life. Full on zombie action.”

Dr. Mason nodded. “Yes. I mean, according to the legends. Now, what’s all this about?”

Sam and I glanced at Dr. Mason, then at each other with matching expressions. This guy didn’t seem like someone who would bring his dead kid back to life. I caught Dean’s eye and sent him a pleading look. He kept going.

“I think you know.”

“Dean.” Sam warned.

“Look, I get it. Okay? There are people that I would give anything to see again.” Dean softened, then got in Dr. Mason’s face. “But what gives you the right?”

“Dean!” Sam took a step forward.

“What are you talking about?” Dr. Mason was beyond confused.

“What’s dead should stay dead!” Dean shot.

“What?” Dr. Mason’s eyes were wide.

“Stop it!” I ran at Dean and pushed him, but he didn’t budge.

“What you brought back isn’t even your daughter anymore! These things are vicious, they’re violent, they’re so nasty they rot the ground around them! I mean, come on, haven’t you seen Pet Sematary?”

“Dean, stop!” I hit his chest.

He caught me off guard and pushed me, sending me stumbling into Sam. Sam forced me behind him and glared at Dean.

“You’re insane.” Dr. Mason shook his head.

“Where is she!”

“Get out of my office.” He picked up his phone, but Dean knocked it out of his hand.

“I know you’re hiding her somewhere! Where is she!”

“Dean! Stop!” I ducked out from under Sam and pushed Dean, hard this time.

He glared at me and I grabbed his wrist, making sure I dug my nails into his skin even though it hurt me. I pointed to the windowsill.

“Look. Plants. Beautiful, living plants.” I growled.

“We’re leaving.” Sam told Dr. Mason.

Dean jerked himself out of my grip and stormed out the door.

“I’m calling the police.” Dr. Mason scowled.

“Sir, we’re really sorry. We won’t bother you again.” I gave him the most apologetic look I could before Sam and I followed after Dean.

                                                              ***

“Dean, what the hell is the matter with you?” Sam called.

“Back off.” Dean growled.

“That man is innocent! He didn’t deserve that!”

“Okay, so she’s not here! Maybe he’s keeping her somewhere else.”

“Stop it!” Sam shouted. “That is enough, okay? Enough.”

“Sam, I know what I’m doing.”

“No, you don’t!” I shouted. “You don’t, at all, Dean! Look, just about everything in this world scares me, but you never have. Except for now. You’re scaring the shit out of me.”

Dean bent down and got in my face. “Don’t be so overdramatic, Olive.”

Sam pulled me away from Dean and scowled. “You’re lucky this turned out to be a real case. Because if it wasn’t you would’ve just found something else to kill.”

“Wh-”

“He’s right, Dean! You’re on edge, you’re erratic. Except for when you’re hunting, because then you are downright horrifying. You’re spinning out, dude. And you’d rather die than talk about it! And you won’t let Sam and I help you!”

“I can take care of myself, thanks. I don’t need my little siblings to do it for me.”

“Dean!” Sam was panting, exasperated. “You can’t take care of yourself. And you know what? You’re the only one who thinks you should have to! You don’t have to handle this on your own, Dean. Nobody even can.”

“Dean, we’re still a family, and family is supposed to take care of each other!”

“If you bring up Dad’s death one more time I swear-”

“Stop! Please!” Sam looked ready to smash something against a wall.

“Dean.” I spoke, lips trembling. “Dean, this is killing you. Please.” My voice broke. “We’ve all lost Dad. You two have lost your mother. Sam’s lost Jess. But if you keep living like this, we will lose you too.”

Dean sighed. “We better get out of here before the cops come.”

I let out a strangled cry, trying to disguise it as a groan as I turned away. I pinched the bridge of my nose and looked up, holding back tears.

“I hear you. Okay? Yeah. I’m being an ass, and I’m sorry. But right now we’ve got a freaking zombie running around. And we need to figure out how to kill it.”

Sam let out a small chuckle and I wiped the tears from my eyes, turning back to the boys.

“Right?” Dean’s face was still serious.

“Our lives are weird, man.” Sam chuckled again.

“You’re telling me?” Dean huffed. “Come on.”

                                                              ***

“We can’t just waste her with a head shot?” Dean continued to pace around the room.

Sam chuckled and looked up from Dad’s journal. “Dude, you’ve been watching way too many Romero flicks.”

“You’re telling me there’s no lore on how to smoke em!” Dean put his hands up. “What else am I supposed to suggest?”

I giggled and Sam shook his head as Dean took a seat across from me. “No, Dean, I’m telling you that there’s too much. I mean, there’s a hundred different legends on the walking dead, and they all have different ways to kill them.” Sam moved from the bed to the table, pushing my feet onto the ground. “Some say, setting them on fire, uh, decapitation, cut up the bodies…” He sighed.

“Oh! I found one you might like!” I grinned as I flipped the laptop toward them.

“Feeding their hearts to wild dogs?” Sam read off the screen.

“I say we break into the zoo and find some hyenas and go for it!”

Dean’s head tilted. “Are wild dogs and hyenas the same thing?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “I think so.”

Sam shook his head. “No they’re not.”

I pulled the laptop back my way and googled it. “Wait, no, they actually are two separate things. Hyenas are more closely related to cats? And… mongooses?”

“What the fuck is a mongoose?” Dean leaned forward.

I pulled up a picture of a mongoose and snorted. “This is an overgrown ferret. You’re telling me that that is related to a hyena?” I pushed the laptop back their way.

Sam rubbed his eyes. “I mean, the point is, who knows what’s real and what’s a myth?”

“Well, is there anything they all have in common?” I shut the laptop with a sigh.

“No.” Sam sighed. “But a few said silver might work.”

I looked at Dean, who shrugged.

“Silver’s a start.”

I leaned back in my chair. “Well, yeah. But how are we gonna find Angela? It’s not like she’s in her grave.”

Dean sighed. “We’ve gotta figure out the person who brought her back.”

“Alright. Any ideas?”

“I think that if it’s not her dad, it might be that guy Neil.”

I glanced between the boys. “Who?”

“A friend of Angela’s.”

“Okay… how’d you come up with that?”

Dean crossed the room and grabbed the pink diary, tapping his fingers on it with a grin. “You’ve got your journal, I’ve got mine.” He flipped it open and cleared his throat. “Neil’s a real shoulder to cry on, he so understands what I’m going through with Matt.”

I giggled and he nodded, throwing the diary onto the table and sitting back down. “There’s more in there where that came from. It’s got unrequited duckie love written all over it.”

I giggled again, and Sam cracked a smile.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he brought her back from the dead.”

“Hmm.” Dean pouted. “Did I mention he’s Dr. Mason’s TA? Has access to all the same books.”

Sam rested his chin in his hands and made a face.

                                                              ***

“Hello? Neil? It’s your grief counselors. We’ve come to hug.” Dean called out into the apartment.

There was no answer. Dean pulled out a gun and nodded at me. I pulled my own, and Sam made a face.

“They’re silver bullets.” I grinned.

Sam shook his head, but there was a hint of a smile on his face.

“Enough to make her rattle like a change purse.” Dean matched the grin on my face.

Dean led the way. Sam was in the middle, and I brought up the rear with my gun ready. Sam nudged us both and pointed. I looked over to see a windowsill fill of wilted plants. I groaned, feeling sick. Dean nodded and led us to a door. He nodded to it.

“Unless it’s where he keeps his porn…”

Sam sighed and opened the door. Dean led the way down, Sam and I followed. The room was empty. 

“Sure looks like a zombie pen to me.” Dean huffed.

“Yeah, an empty one.” Sam sighed. “Think Angela’s going after somebody?”

Dean pulled a loose grate off the wall. It landed on the floor with a thud and I sighed. It was a tunnel, and it definitely led somewhere outside.

“Nah. I think she went to rent Beaches.” Dean mocked.

I whacked the back of his head and Sam rolled his eyes.

“Okay, jackass. She might kill someone. Which means we’ve gotta find her.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, alright. She uh, she clipped Matt because he was cheating on her, right?”

“Well, yeah, that’s the working theory.”

“Okay, well, it takes two to have hardcore sex.”

Sam frowned and I grimaced.

“I don’t know, it just seemed that uh… Angela’s roommate was broken up over Matt’s death. I mean, like…” Dean raised his eyebrows. “Really broken up.”

                                                              ***

Someone screamed, and Dean and I both fired, nailing Angela in the chest and shoulder. She screamed but went out the window. Dean and I went after as Sam went to the roommate. We reached the window, but she was already out of sight. I stuck my head out the window and looked around. She was gone.

“Damn.”

“Alright, so the dead chick can run.”

I sighed. “What do we do now?”

Dean thought about it for a second. “I say we go have a little chat with Neil.”

                                                              ***

“Okay, so the silver bullets did something, right?”

“Yeah, but obviously not enough. What else you got?”

“Um, okay… besides silver, we have…” Sam skimmed through Dad’s journal. “Nailing the undead back into their grave beds. It’s mentioned a few times.”

“Probably where the whole vampire staking lore came from.” I mused.

“Their grave beds? Seriously?” Dean glanced from the road to Sam.

“Yeah.”

“How the fuck are we gonna get Angela back to the cemetery?”

                                                              ***

“Just stay behind me, okay?” Sam squeezed my shoulder.

I nodded. “Okay.”

Dean pushed the office door open, and a guy was sitting at his desk in the dark. Dean shot us a look over his shoulder. I kept close to Sam as we shuffled into the room.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“You know, I’ve heard of people doing some pretty desperate things to get laid, but you.” Dean snorted. “You take the cake.”

“Okay. Who are you guys?”

“You might wanna ask Angela that question.”

“What?”

“We know what you did, Neil. The ritual and everything.”

Neil scoffed. “You’re crazy.”

“Your girlfriend’s past her expiration date and we’re crazy?”

“When someone’s gone, they should stay gone.” Dean reiterated.

No.

I swallowed, caught off guard. It was happening again. I cleared my throat.

“Angela killed Matt. She tried to kill her roommate too.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Hey!” Dean stormed over to the desk and hauled Neil up by the collar.

Sam was shocked, but I didn’t even blink. This was how it was going to be until he let us help him.

“No more crap, Neil. His blood is on your hands. Now. Me and my siblings can make this right, but you’ve gotta tell us where she is. Tell us!”

I noticed the window behind his desk. All the plants were dead.

“My house! She’s at my house.”

Dean dropped him, and I cleared my throat.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” He nodded.

I glanced past him to see a closet cracked open. I cleared my throat again, and the boys looked at me, confused.

“Listen. It doesn’t really matter where she is. There’s only one way to stop her. We’ve gotta do another ritual over her grave to reverse the mess you made. Gonna need some black root, some scar weed, some sage and some candles. It’s complicated, but it’ll get the job done.”

I noticed Dean holding back a smirk, and Sam’s eyebrows furrowed.

“She’ll be dead again in a few hours. I really think you should come with us.”

Neil said nothing.

“I’m serious, Neil. Leave with us. Right now.”

“No. No, I can’t.”

Dean leaned back in and whispered something to him. Neil’s face drained of color and Dean turned back to us. “Let’s go.”

                                                              ***

“Do you really think this’ll work?”

I shrugged as I lit another candle. “Dude, fuck if I know. It’s the best I could come up with.”

There was a crackling sound from nearby, and our heads snapped up like three deer. Dean nodded to Sam, who slowly stood and held his hand out. I pulled my gun from the small of my back and handed it to him. As Sam stalked away, I opened my mouth, letting my teeth do as they pleased. Fangs slid out, cramming my regular teeth to the sides. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before focusing on the noises. There was another sound, closer to where Sam had gone.

I heard the shifting of his clothes and then a small gasp.

“Wait! It’s not what you think. I didn’t ask to be brought back! But it’s still me. I’m still a person. Please.” Angela pleaded.

There was a gunshot, and I flinched, eyes snapping open. There was a scream and the subsequent crunching of bones. Sam began to run back to us, and there was another thud.

Sam.

I snatched Dean’s gun from the back of his jeans and made a run for it. Sam was down in the clearing, and Angela was trying to twist his head back. I shot her, and she scrambled away, right toward Dean. I shot her a few more times, and she stumbled into her open grave. Dean acted fast, grabbing a long metal stake and ran for it, sliding into the grave.

“Please, don’t!” She screamed.

I flinched as I heard the sound of the blade digging into her skin. There was a gasp, and then nothing.

“What’s dead should stay dead.” Dean hissed.

                                                              ***

“Man, rest in peace.” I huffed as we finished patting down the dirt over her grave.

“Yeah, for good this time.” Dean huffed.

Sam grunted as he lifted his shovel over his shoulder and we made our way to the car.

“You know, that whole fake ritual thing, luring Angela into the cemetery? Pretty sharp of you two.”

Dean and I looked at each other and grinned. “Thanks.”

“But why did I have to be the bait?”

“Figured you were more her type.” Dean teased. “You know, she had a pretty crappy taste in guys.”

“I think she broke my hand.” Sam huffed.

“Aw, Sams.” I pouted. “Gimme the shovel.”

“Nah, it’ll hurt more to move it.”

Dean laughed. “You’re just too fragile. We’ll get it looked at later.” He paused and glanced back at Mary’s grave.

“You wanna stay for a while?” Sam asked.

Dean shook his head. “Nope.”

He popped the trunk and let us drop our things in. I climbed into the front bench with a grunt. Sam and Dean followed.

                                                              ***

Dean pulls the car over onto the opposite shoulder with a scowl. Olive sits up straight, and Sam looks at the eldest Winchester, confused. Dean gets out of the car and sits on the hood, wordless. Sam and Olive share a look, then follow their brother out of the car. Sam sits down on the hood, leaving a space between himself and Dean.

“Dean, what is it?” He asks.

“I’m sorry.”

His voice is deep and his tone is serious, but Olive sees right through it. He’s about to burst into tears. She stands between her brothers, staying close to Dean.

“For what?”

“The way I’ve been acting.” He looks down and swallows. “And for Dad. I mean… he was you guys’ Dad too. And it’s my fault that he’s gone.”

Sam glances at Olive, expecting to share a look. Olive sinks into Dean’s side and swallows, hard. She doesn’t look at Sam. She can’t, or she’ll break.

“Dean, what are you talking about?”

“I know you’ve been thinking it. So have I.” Dean sniffs. “Doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Back at the hospital, I made a full recovery. It was a miracle. And five minutes later, Dad’s dead and the Colt is gone.”

“Dean.”

“You can’t tell me there’s not a connection there.” Dean shakes his head. “I don’t know how the demon was involved. I don’t know how the whole thing went down exactly. But Dad’s dead because of me.”

Olive begins to cry, looking down at her feet. Her chest aches, a combination of the harsh tug at her heartstrings and the healing wound from their previous case.

“That much I do know.”

Sam grabs one of Olive’s hands and shakes his head at his older brother. “We don’t know that. Not for sure, Dean.”

“Kids…” Dean’s voice is weak. “You two, and Dad… you’re the most important people in my life. And now… I never should’ve come back, guys. It wasn’t natural. And now look what’s come of it.”

Olive begins to cry harder, and Sam’s eyes fill with tears.

“I was dead. And I should have stayed dead.”

Tears begin to fall down Dean’s cheeks. Sam is distraught, he doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know how to help. Olive is shaking. She knew this would be her burden to carry, but she never realized it would become Dean’s too.

“You guys wanted to know how I was feeling. Well, that’s it.”

Sam nods, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks.

“So tell me. What could you two possibly say to make that alright?” Dean looks their way.

Sam falters, looks down. Dean looks back away, and Olive’s heart begins to ache. She looks up at her big brother, and barrels straight into him. She throws her arms around his neck and he steadies himself, expecting her to put all her weight on him. She doesn’t. She holds him, and gently pulls him forward. He lets himself be held, then slowly drops his head into her neck. He begins to shake, and she squeezes him tighter.

She can’t say anything to make it right. She knows that.

All she can do is hold him and hope he knows how much they need him.

Because if he can realize that, then it’s enough.

Previous Ep: Bloodlust (2.03)

Next Ep: Simon Said (2.05)

#supernatural cast #supernatural fic #supernatural oc #supernatural season two #sam winchester #dean winchester #children shouldn't play with dead things #supernatural #olive winchester #my posts #dean and sam #sam and dean #sam winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x sister!reader #dean x sister!reader #sam x sister!reader #sam x sister!oc #sam winchester x sister!oc #dean x sister!oc #dean winchester x sister!oc #john winchester #john winchester x daughter!reader #john winchester x daughter!oc #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #jeffery dean morgan #winchester #winchester sister #winchester sibling #micwrites

[justfangstvdto]

Open Coffin | Chapter 25: “We Are Forever”

Pairing: Kol x SalvatoreSister!Reader

Warnings:  fluff, angst, flashback in cursive (i know I hate it too),  if you´ve read the previous chapter you know what's coming so I won't tag it here, canon divergence, oh also it's Christmas time in this,

Word count: 5200

Tags & Author Note at the bottom. Feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

Open Coffin Masterlist

Six months, one hundred and eighty-two days quickly dissolved themselves into an endless stream of starry nights, heartful laughter, lingering kisses and a whole bunch of magic.

Kol was a great teacher from the beginning, delving deep into what was once his reality before he was turned into a vampire. You saw it in his eyes when he would rave about the possibilities of magic and the execution of it. He loved it. And you loved that he loved it.

Your new powers were a different story. You didn't have control over them whatsoever. Many accidental aneurysm or fire-related accidents later you were ready to just lock them away again. But Kol insisted to keep the training going, all the while documenting anything and everything with a Polaroid camera he picked up along the way...

“We have to commemorate these moments” Is what he said. So you did. And the enormous photo album resting on the backseat of the car is proof of that.

It's nearing twilight now, early in the morning, and the soft rocking of the car makes you almost fall asleep. Kol has been watching as your head dropped, nodding, then jerks up as you awoke, then slowly drops again. Over and over.  

You blame it on the early hours and the movement of the car, which could make you fall asleep in a matter of minutes. Even back when you were younger, you always managed to fall asleep in the carriage, dropping your head on into Damon's chest who huffed and puffed but tried his best not to wake you.

But it was much colder then, in the carriage back then, especially in the winter times nearing Christmas. now that´s it´s nearing Christmas.

And boy did the people of Mystic Falls love their Christmas celebrations. Even now, everywhere you look there are string lights on the houses, waving Santa´s in the yard and glittering reindeers that almost gives you a seizure.

“Remind me why exactly we're back here again?” You groan, watching the sign disappear in the side view mirror. ��Don't tell me we're spending Christmas with Stefan and Damon and the Mystic Falls Gang. If so, we either need to turn around right now, or we need to get drunk. Preferably both. ”

Kol chuckles “You´ll see.”

“It's not because of her, is it? The last thing I need is Mae´s lying ass.”

“She's not here.” He shakes his head “But- you cannot push everyone away, you know?”

“But I have you. I don't need anybody else, hell, I don't even like anybody else.” You grumble and look back out of the window.

As the care engine sings to the lone roads, you relish the roaring winds that twirl and twist your hair, like strings that hang from a scooters handlebars. On whim, you reach back, searching the backseat for the photo album. You'd rather bask in those memories than to watch this miserable town unfold before your eyes.

The first pages are filled with pictures taken along Route 95 all the way down to Miami. Then followed Cuba, Brazil right down to Greece, Italy and the rest of Europe.

But arguably your favorite memory was one of the first nights in Cuba…

“I brought you a gift. Something to remember me by.” Kol said, his hair and clothes drenched in the summer rain. He settled next to you on the bench seat overlooking the city and hands you an elongated velvet box.

“Looks fancy. Where did you get it?” You asked, “You stole it, didn't you?”

“It's hardly stealing if my charm acquired it, now is it?”

“That's not your charm, that's compulsion, you idiot. You're so cheap.”

He laughed and you swore your heart is tumbling over itself. You missed seeing him with this thrive for living.

“Will you open it or just insult me?”

“Maybe I insult you a little more and then open it, who knows?” You shrugged your shoulders, and he groaned, shaking his head in disbelief  

“Fine, I'll spare you the roasting.”

Opening the claps in the front, the velvet box snapped open with small resistance.

Filigree silver vines wrapped themselves into a star, the edges cut in silver with diamonds artfully arranged where the silver meets the vines. The silver necklace attached was so shiny it was blinding. And beautiful.

“We fell in love under the stars, but you will always be my favorite one,” Kol said, and reached for the necklace, slipping it around your neck and carefully clasped it shut.

Looking down it was right within your view, shining blindingly on your chest You'd just have to look down to always see it. “I love it, thank you so much.”

It wasn't one of favorite because he brought you some lavish gift, but because it was the first time you realized that this is your life now. No Klaus behind you, no dagger in sight. You were finally free, on your own terms.

You trace your fingers along the edges of the picture he took right after he gave you the necklace and you're smiling yourself at how ridiculously happy you look. And happiness looks good on you.

Kol glances over from the driver seat, a smile replicating on his face and he almost forgets the dumbing, scratching pain that's thumping in his veins.

Then, he remembers why he's actually going back to Mystic Falls. Not to give you a chance to visit your brothers or any other D-tour. He came back to die...

6 months ago - Salvatore Boarding House

“Tell me what we have to do to save her.”  

Kol´s question stood in the room, unanswered and demanding.  

“We could anchor her power to someone, as a conduit of sorts.” Mae explained “That way it ain't gonna overpower her. But, and here is the big but, we need a powerful counteract and none of us is powerful enough” She looks at Stefan and Damon beside her.

“Then I will,” said Kol.

“Then here's the catch, you ain't gonna survive it. It would swallow you whole.” She says, and Kol nods almost having expected that outcome. Magic always comes with a price.

Stefan and Damon shared a look of worry, but remain silent for the time being. It wasn't like they would ever think of choosing Kol over you. But they also know that you would be devastated and likely, go off the deep end when Kol has to pay his debt.

“How long do I have?” Kol asks.

“If we slow down the process, about 6 months. Give or take.”

“Absolutely not.” Klaus finally spoke, shaking his head “I will not allow you to be harmed.”

Kol had heard enough. His brother had never cared about whether he lived or died, so he wasn't allowing him to start now.

“Weren't you the one that put me in a box whenever you felt like it? Oh right, it was you, wasn't it?” Kol's fake smile faltered and his features became stern “Your care for my well being comes a thousand years too late.”

Klaus was wide-eyed with fear, and everyone in the room shared a look at this uncanny feature of the mighty Hybrid. Then, Klaus´ shell closes, and he returned to his stoic demeanour.

“Then go ahead, ruin yourself for her. See if I care.” With that Klaus marches out of the room, infuriated with everyone remaining.

Kol looked after him, both saddened and relieved with his departure. But he expected nothing less than disapproval. Perhaps it will be the last time at least.  “We better start before he comes back with the entourage,” said Kol.

“I´ll call one of my witches then.” Mae said and pulled out her phone “Are you positive you want to do this? She's gonna be devastated.”   

“There is no other choice. This is my fault, and I intend to make it right.” He said with a heavy heart. Then he looks at all remaining people in the room “All I ask of you is to keep this to yourselves. She deserves these months of peace. If this is all I can give, I will.”

“Sure, whatever you need,” Stefan says, knowing that nobody in this room would be likely to receive your forgiveness once you found out. But nobody, and of that he's certain, will waver from this decision to risk your good graces if it means saving your life.

Everything comes with a price.

You snap your fingers in front of Kol´s face, trying to get him back from wherever he wandered to in his mind. “Hey! Earth to Kol?”  

Touching his shoulder brings him back to reality. He doesn't jump, but the tiniest swerve on the road gives him away. He was deep into whatever he thought about.

It's very unlike him.

“You okay?” You ask him and he nods and flashes you a reassuring smile, before concentrating on the road.

“I love this. It's so unnecessary.” You chuckle, waving your hand to turn the photobooks page with your magic powers.

The car swerves again, this time crossing the outer white restriction lines and the tires meet the grass briefly, almost dipping into the ditch, before he regains control.

“What the fuck was that?”    

“Nothing. Saw something on the road.” He brushes it off and settles back into his seat, flinching as his back touches the seat. When your concerned look catches his eye, he turns to the sideview mirror, pretending to look at something to evade it.

Is he.. ....Evading gaze, elevated heartbeat -  yep, he's lying through his teeth.

“Let's just take a break up there. I need to stretch my legs.” You point to the next driveway and Kol takes a left to a what seems like an unvaccinated house.

Once there, he shifts the stick into parking, and you seize the opportunity to roll up the sleeve of his shirt. His entire shoulder is spotted with ash colored veins travelling in every direction.

“What the hell is this?”

“It's the spell.” He confesses, defeated with guilt.

“What spell?”

“The one to keep you alive.”

A conducting binding spell is killing him and it's all your fault. That's all you could take away from his explanation of what saved your life.

With your heart pounding and your fingers shaking, you turn page after page trying to search for anything to stop or reverse the spell. Kol is hellbent on going through with his suicide mission, but you´re not giving up that easily. Not after everything you went through to find each other again.

“Please don't be angry with me.” Kol´s voice is fearful and filled with uncertainty, shaky even.  

“I'm not angry, I’m-” You pause, balling your fist on the dusty table “ I´m not accepting this. You´re not dying for me, I´m not gonna let you.”

“And you´re not dying for me, darling. It’s settled. "He counters, and steals the book from your hands, setting it aside ”Now please, there's nothing to find.”

“Why didn't you tell me? I would´ve never used my powers if-”

“There was no other choice. They would have torn you apart.”

“And you think this won't?”

He cracks a smile and shakes his head as if the question was nothing but ridiculous. “You´re resilient, darling. There is nothing you cannot survive.”

“And what if I´m not strong enough for what happens next? To be alone again?”

“I will be there with you even if you won't be able to see me. I´ll always be right here.” He says, brushing his finger along the silver string of your necklace.

...Something to remember me by. He told you back then, but you didn't listen closely enough. Why don't you just listen?

“Now, before it's too late, dance with me He hops to his feet and outstretched his arm, offering you a last dance "Please."

“Why do I always have to say goodbye to you on Christmas? It's supposed to be a happy day.”

He whispers an apology full of regret and shame and pulls you into his direction.

You wrap your arm around his neck as much as you can reach. You don't want to let go because you know that if you did, you won't be able to hold him again. This is it, the deathly goodbye that wasn't supposed to knock on either one of your doors. And where does that door lead to? Will he regret his decision? Will he be...in pain? What if-

“I can feel you overturning every stone in that beautiful head of yours. You don't have to worry about me, if this is how my life is supposed to end then I count myself luckiest of all to die with you next to me.”

“I can't do this without you. There is no way. ”

“You can.” He says, “And that's all I want. You do not need me. You are destined for greatness all on your own.”

“You´re wrong. I do need you. I like myself best when I'm with you.”

“You and I are kindred spirits, no doubt about it, but you are everything you need to be. Smart, strong, fierce and so beautiful it ruins me. Promise me you won't let my death take away who you are.”

You nod and bury your face in his chest, trying to memorize every beat of his heart, every smell and touch. You can´t make any promises you´re sure not being able to keep, but if it brings him peace, you´ll try to fulfil his wish.

The swaying carries on and so does the fire,  the day outside coming into its full highest point. Kol is reminiscing of times past, From the first time, he saw you in the streets of New Orleans, to your reunion right to the endless memories mad ever the last 6 months. And you just listen to his voice carrying away. 

Then amidst his stories, his slow movements falter and he buckles, almost folding on his knees.

This is it. The time has come.

You help him to the nearby couch and he scrambles, searching for your hand. Terror is written over his face

“I'm right here.”

Watching him is like flowing in a current downstream with nothing to grab on to. You have no choice but to accept your lack of control.

Then, one of Kol´s lesson crossed your mind, and you took his hand, concentrating on the pain running through his every atom.

He pulls his hand away in an effort to spare you discomfort, but you grab it again, holding on tight. He shakes his head again trying to get away a second time.

“It's okay. I´m okay.” You reassure him and he relaxes as an estuary of dark gritty pain connects to your veins.

It's unbearable. Incending. Numbing.

You don't know where his pain ends and yours begins,  but it sees to lessen his, so you carry on, clenching your jaw to hide discomfort.  

“Be free. My favorite star.” A tear slips from his eye and smiles, struggling along the letter as if they´re double-edged swords. He winces in pain, clenching his teeth, as the decayed grey crawls up his upper body.

You lean forward, kiss his lips for the last time and with another shallow breath and he fades out of life, the remnants of his last smile fading with him.

The finality of his departure settles into your bones and with it, one single word passes your lips.

Incendia.

----

You´ve watched many people die, at your own hand or someone else's, and it brings nothing but one undenying truth; death picks apart every single shell you have created, self-made or forced upon. It tears apart your identity, rips apart all you have known and makes you doubt everything you have yet to learn.

And watching Kol die was self-annihilation in every aspect of the word.

Minutes have passed, sitting amongst your created chaos, coming apart at the seams with fire licking around the room like it means to play. 

Then, from a distance, you hear voices.

Soon, hands pull at the fabric of your clothing, helping you to your feet. You drag your eyes from Kol´s burning body, to look into Stefan and Damon panic-filled eyes.  They want to save you. Surely they know that it's far too late to save you now, yet they pull you away, naive to the anewed darkness of the world - your world.  

“Y/N?” Stefan carefully touches your shoulder, nudging you to move   “Hey, look at me.”

But his words fall on deaf ears.

This is the point where you´re supposed to break down in tears with every bit of regret boiling to the surface. But you feel numb, you can´t process the sound of his voice or the worried looks from both of them, all you can see are the flames and the smell of burning flesh reaching out of the house.

Kol's burning and you're drowning...

...and drowning

...and drowning.

“I'm sorry.” Stefan says, his hand still placed on your shoulder  “I tried to reason with him, but he insisted.“ Stefan stiffens once he let the words slip out of his mouth, realizing his slip up much too late.

You turn to him slowly, finally dragging your eyes away from the fire. Stefan backs away and raises his hands in the air “I can explain.”

“How could you?!” You shove him away from you with much less force he deserves. You punch against his chest, knocking the air out of his lungs, but he doesn't back away or resists. He lets it happen.  

But Damon has had enough. “Knock it off!” He stands in between you and Stefan “There was no other way! You would've died!”

“Then I would be dead right now!" You scream, against the uproaring wind "Instead…..How am I supposed to live like this, knowing that he died because of me because I couldn't leave the past in the past!”

“This is not your fault. You have to know that.” Stefan says, stepping out of Damon's shielding.

But Damon steps in front of him again. “I would choose you over one of them any day. If that makes me the bad guy, so be it. I don't need you to be okay with this.”

You could believe your ears. One of them….how insulting. Kol is….was nothing like his siblings.

“What about what I needed?  After everything I did to make up for my mistakes you thank me with this?”

“What did you want us to do? We´are family, we couldn't just-”

“Family.." You scoff " you're throwing that word around like it's supposed to mean something to me. I have no idea what having a family feels like. Scolded by Mom, punished by Dad and shoved aside by you two - I was left out of everything, and I should've known better than to expect it's ever gonna change"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm telling you to fuck off and leave me alone. I have to scrape by boyfriends ashes from the floor."

“You want to be alone? Fine.” Damon says “But this is your fault, not ours. Blame yourself. "

Damon looks at you with disapproval, perhaps even disgust, then takes a few steps back, taking in the burning mess you created before he turns and walks away.

Stefan calls after him, desperate trying his best to be the Mediator as he's always been, but it's no use.

"No, let him go. He's right. I ruin everything I touch. Just go or you might be next."

"Y/N.."

"Go. Or I will make you. "

The mansion exterior was duller and less impressive as you remembered it. The paint seems faded, the trimmed hedges uncared for - it looks like the house is in mourning. Perhaps it is.

Knocking on the front door, you up to the balcony on the western side of the house. The railing where you sat with Kol and head a heart to heart with Stefan is barely visible from your vantage point. It feels so distant in the past and yet too close for comfort.

If you could only turn back time, perhaps you wouldn´t stand here alone.

The front door unlocks with a squeak and Elijah steps into view, his face in a veil of grief. He must´be known. Everyone did but you.

“Please do come in. “ He says and steps aside.

Much like the exterior, the interior felt nothing compared to what you remember it as. Or perhaps you just lost all senses of beauty.

Elijah careful watches your steps, not waiting for an attack, rather to assert the situation.

“I´ll make it short. “ You say, noticing his discomfort. “I need you to hold onto Kol´s ashes. I can´t- I think you should have them. Promise me you´ll guard them with your life.”

“You have my word.” He assures you and carefully takes the urne out of your hand and places it on the table in the middle of the room, next to a fresh cut of flowers.

You can't help but wonder if somewhere down the line only a ceramic urn filled with ashes is all that´ll be left of you.

“Please, do not blame yourself.” Elijah says “Kol deserve much better than what we offered, but you were never at fault for the circumstances that led to this.”

“I know.”

There was no point arguing, you know your truth, and however delusional Elijah is, he has his truth as well. But no consulting words will reflect that fact that you´re a fault. You and nobody but you.

“I, uh, I better go” You continue “I'm sorry for everything I put you through with...you know. I don't know why I let it escalate like this.”

He shakes his head and waves the problematic past away like its nothing but a bee on a hot summer day.

“Vengeance persuades even the strongest minds.” He says “It's a disease even we have to abstain from. With mild successes, of course.”

With a last look of all that remains of Kol, you bid farewell to Elijah and slip out of the door. You make it about halfway to the parked car before an intense and calculating stare digs holes into your backside.

Klaus.  

“If you want to kill me for breaking the truce, just get it over with.” You say to him, leaning back on the car door.

“I didn't come to harm you.” He says, his voice calm and collected.

“Then why did you? To laugh at how much I lost?”

He swallows “Do you think that low of me?”

I do.  Is what you want to say, but by the look on your face, Klaus knew the answer to his question before you could even open your mouth. So you said nothing.

“I came here to give you this. Kol left it before you embarked on your journey.”  He continues and hands you a sealed letter.

Your heart sinks as the paper touches your fingers and you have to refrain yourself from crying on the spot.

“If it is any consolation, I am… I regret it had to come to this. In truth, Kol was centuries ahead of me and my pursuits. He was never tied to our promise and I envied and punished him for it.” He pauses, and finally drags his eyes from the floor  “And I punished you for achieving what all my efforts could have never brought; unconditional love.”

You´ve heard several claims out of Klaus' mouth, threats of painfully detailed ways of death and torment,  but none ever seems so sincere than what he just said. It makes you wonder if perhaps under this facade lies nothing but the same insecure, angry creature you have been shaped into, desperately searching for some sort of closure.

And it made you sick knowing that you sacrificed everything pursuing his downfall. How delusional you were. How destructively selfish.

“You know I can't figure you out.” You say,  “I don't know if this is the real you or the big ego version.”

“Well, that will remain a mystery, I´m afraid.” He smiles, and you roll your eyes at his beaming regained confidence.

Klaus opens his mouth, to say something, but he changes the topic “You have proven yourself to be quite the nuisance. And a skilled opponent. Until we meet again.”

“Don't count on it.” You reply before hopping into the car, shifting the stick into drive and flooring the car, leaving Klaus in the dust.

One last stop until you´ll leave this town behind, this time for good. Nothing good comes out of Mystic Falls.

Holes and ripped pavement litter the once smooth black roads leading out of Mystic Fall. Six months ago, with the same green hue of the city sign in sight, you couldn't wait to leave. Back then you had a purpose and somewhere to go. But now….where do you go when the only home you´ve ever known is gone? When home was always tied to a person rather than a place? What do you do?

Six months so quickly dissolved themselves into an endless stream of starry nights, heartful laughter and lingering kisses. But now those experiences are layered with the veil of grief and regret and you feel ashamed and angry because of it. Your memories, nor Kol deserved to be frowned upon.  Perhaps in the years to come, you would finally be able to smile rather than being drowned by them.

You reach over to the passenger seat, enclosing your trembling fingers around the paper edges of Kol´s letter. You twist it in your hand a few times, contemplating if you could handle reading it, or if it's better to store it away until you're more collected.

Get a grip, just open it.

It's just a letter...

It's just a letter...

It’s not just a letter.

With shaking but determined hands, and eyes ready to burst with tears, you read Kol´s handwritten words:

My darling,

Words could never describe how sorry I am to leave you. In all of my time alive and awake, I have never felt happier than when I  was with you next to me. Leaving you will be the hardest challenge I will ever have to face.

But with the time we spend in mind, I will gladly sacrifice my life for you to flourish.  So, please don´t mourn me, I'd give my life for you several times over if I had to.  

You have been my steady rock, my lighthouse in the dark, my best friend, the keeper of my heart and the love of my life - and you will forever remain so.

You have not only quelled my rage but you understood me like no one had before. You understood me better than I did myself. You did not wish to change me like everyone had the intention to. You accepted me for who and what I was, and for that, I could never repay you or love you enough, when you have already loved me more than I deserved to be.

And you deserve nothing but the greatest life you've dreamed of.  Live the life you´ve always wanted, live it for the both of us and don't even think about hiding that beautiful smile of yours in sorrow. I will know.

But fear not, this is not the end of us my favorite star, you and I, we are forever.

Eternally yours,

Kol.

Slow desolate tears run from your unblinking eyes, dripping steadily on the sheet of paper. The tears weren´t even half running dry, and you felt empty.

You havenßt experienced this feeling before. The pain was still there, but not raw as it has been all those centuries - now it´s a steady companion, a part of you can´t so easily bury.

But you will try to run from it, that´s a given.

As the city limits disappear in the rearview mirror, you think about how many seemingly good things must rest on the shoulders of something terrible. All you've longed for was nothing but freedom and instead, anger took over what sense of reality you had left, and the only person you cannot be without paid the price.

What else is there to hope for, to thrive for when your actions have brought nothing but doom?

However good one´s intentions, in the end, everything ends either in blood or ashes, bound in shallows and in miseries, lost in darkness and distance.

But there is one silver lining… this is not the end. It cannot be. The shadows are calling, and who better to answer than someone who is homeless to the world with nothing left to lose.

Perhaps this is a new beginning, one with sorrow and grief but with open possibilities. A new awakening, your own un-daggering….your own Open Coffin.

Author Note: And that's a wrap!!! For now at least. But there will definitely be a sequel to this in the future.

I might be inclined to write little timestamps from Kol and the reader's adventures. I couldn't put all of them in this chapter or it would´ve been totally unbalanced with anything else.

For now, though, I want to thank you for sticking with this story. I know it has been such a long time since I've started it and it evolved into something completely different from what I've planned and though it comes with many flaws, it's something I'm proud to have written.

And I want to thank each and every one of you who decided to read, comment and leave feedback. Without you, this would be a very lonely experience.

I have ideas for the second book, season - or whatever you like to call it. One is more going into thriller type of thing set within the TO universe. The other one would be a little more true to what we´ve seen in the show, and the other one is a more on the fantasy side.

I haven't decided fully on anything yet, so if you have any input at all, I would appreciate it if you would share it with me.

Open Coffin Tags:   @shadylittlewonder @thegoddessofvampire @newurleans @originalbish98@acourtofhopeanddreams @bonniebird @imnoaingeal @vaniileiinkeks @relmi-llorrac @piercethepottorff @maliae14  @5-seconds-of-animals @the-geeky-engineer   @rock-n-magick @flymeawayworld @givemesomehybrid@mikealsonlover @nuteller28 @fandoms-fandoms-everywhere99 @drkplum@fandooomqueenforyou @free-the-fangirl @clockworkballerina@twisted1ginger @superwholocksociopath474  @pacifyprincess @mustachio1616 @thealyana @sandyclaws @unicorntrooper@buckysummers @sanity-is-overratedxp @akshi8278 @lunna-star-8@graysonmalfoy @woodworthti666 @elenavaldez02 @lilulo-12 @selmasemlan@thelostallycat @characterobsessed @cococola-cocaine @crazyinternetgirl @tvdplusriverdale @-thatgirloverthere-  @alwxadria345 @trymexo @mizzezm@willieshakesqueer @spunky-89 @putyourherohaironstefan@xxdragonagequeenxx @thegingerthatwaited @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven@hinata7346 @controloffandoms

#kol x reader #kol mikaelson imagine #tvd imagine #the originals imagine #kol x you #the vampire diaries imagine

[marvelousbirthdays]

Happy Birthday, sarratorrens

April 13-Sam & Bucky after CW AU: "What did you say?" Platonic soulmates for @sarratorrens

Written by @iamartemisday

When it was all over, from the fighting to the politics to the alien invasions, they finally sat down and talked about it.

“You’re an asshole.” Sam had no interest in dancing around the issue. Good. Neither did Bucky.

“I’m not the one who wouldn’t move his seat.” Bucky eyed Sam’s shoulder, where those fateful words from that fateful car trip had been inked by the universe in silver writing.

Sam adjusted his shirt, even though the words were already covered. “I’m not the one who rips steering wheels out of cars.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“I loved that car.”

“You can buy another one.”

“Would you say that to a mother who lost a child?”

Bucky massaged his forehead. This was worse than trying to stop Steve from jumping out of planes without a parachute. “You know what? Fine. Have it your way.”

He stalked out of the room, not caring in the slightest if Sam watched him go. He definitely didn’t look back.

He didn’t want some dumb platonic soulmate anyway.

**

Two days later, his brand new box of Rice Krispies went missing.

It was Sam. He had no evidence, no witnesses, and no clear motive, but it was absolutely Sam.

When Steve didn’t believe him because Sam was such a stand-up guy who’d never steal, Bucky took matters into his own hands. He picked the lock to Sam’s apartment and walked in to find him at the kitchen table, the offending box of cereal right there in plain view as he enjoyed a crackling bowl.

“That’s mine,” Bucky said, making use of his ‘soldat’ voice as Natasha liked to call it.

Unlike a trainee or Peter Parker, Sam was entirely unmoved. “We’re soulmates. Soulmates share.”

“We’re also human beings. Human beings ask before they take things. Otherwise, their spines get broken.”

“Nobody’s stopping you from having somel.” Sam gestured with his head at the empty seat pulled out as if in wait of him. “Go ahead. I dare you.”

Bucky snatched up his cereal box and knocked the milk carton to the floor for good measure. White liquid spilled everywhere. It would take Sam all morning to clean it up.

For the moment, Bucky was satisfied.

**

He woke up from a nap with a photo stuck to his metal arm. Attached with a kitchen magnet. It was one of those New York skyline magnets they sold at souvenir shops in Times Square. Bucky hated those things.

The photo was of Sam’s hand flipping him off. How childish.

Bucky dropped his pants and Sam’s phone was soon graced with the image of his perfect ass. That’ll show him.

**

Sam’s redwings malfunctioned in a battle against a terrorist cell holding an investment bank hostage. Instead of attacking the bad guys, they staged a mutiny. While Sam batted them away, Bucky dispatched all seven terrorists with ruthless efficiency. Every single one of them was an amateur. They couldn’t even aim right. Why the Avengers had been called when a rookie with a donut in his hand could’ve handled it was beyond him.

The headlines the next day were awesome.

WHITE WOLF DEFEATS TERRORISTS. RESCUES TEAMMATE.

“You still haven’t thanked me for saving your ass,” Bucky grinned at Sam as he dropped another copy of the paper onto his lap (there were seven hundred more stashed away in his closet to wallpaper Sam’s bedroom with later).

Sam had the eyes of a hungry leopard. “What did you do to my babies?”

Bucky gasped. “Are you accusing me of sabotaging your equipment to embarrass you on a mission? I can’t believe you think so little of me.”

“I can’t believe suck my dick,” Sam snapped, crumpling up the paper and throwing it at Bucky’s head. To his credit, he made the shot.

“No can do. After that horrible offense, I don’t even want to be in the same room as you. Goodbye, dear platonic soulmate of mine.”

Bucky departed to a cacophony of bad language.

**

“Hey there! Any superheroes around? I need some new photos for my album.”

It was a curly haired young woman with glasses and a hat. Bucky had never seen her before, so he figured she was one of those new ‘consultants’ Steve was telling him about. They were getting two: a physicist and an administrative assistant. This girl didn’t look like either of those things, but as this was a private lounge no visitors should have access to, he wouldn’t call security just yet.

“Hi,” he said, waving her over. “I’m Bucky, I-”

“I know you!” She skipped over and shook his hand. That was the idea anyway. If she hadn’t grabbed the metal one he’d worry about his shoulder dislocating. “Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier, White Wolf. So many names, dude. You need to consolidate. I’m Darcy Lewis, intern and assistant extraordinaire. You may have heard of me.”

“Vaguely,” Bucky took his arm back as quickly and politely as he could. “I knew you were coming, but-”

“Yeah, this is way more exciting than when I went to New Mexico to be Jane’s assistant.” She flopped down on the couch like this was her own apartment. “Not that New Mexico can’t be fun if you’re in a place like Albuquerque, but we were in a real dust bowl. Actually, a dust bowl would’ve been good. This was like a dust bowl within a dust bowl. I remember this one time I had to charge my phone, and-”

Thirty minutes later

“I say to the guy, ‘I don’t care about your grandmother’s bowel movements, just pay me five bucks so I can go. And then he gave me the money and I bought a new charger, and I could finally charge my phone.” Darcy took the first breath Bucky had seen her take. “And then there was the time I had to get Jane a new battery for her laptop.”

“You know what? I just remembered I have to be somewhere right now.” Bucky shot off the couch like it was on fire. “Somewhere important… but you know, that was a really great story you were telling. I have this buddy, Sam Wilson, and I bet he’d love to hear it.”

“You mean the Falcon?” Darcy’s eyes lit up. “He’s my favorite! No offense.”

“None taken.” He entered Sam’s number into her phone, along with his apartment number and other relevant information.

“I’ll just pop on over and say hi.” She raced out the door, only to poke her head back in seconds later. “Almost forgot. Say cheese!”

Bucky did not say cheese and he didn’t smile. Darcy took the picture anyway.

“Nice,” she said, tapping a few buttons. “Friend me on Facebook. I’ll tag you.”

When she was gone and beautiful silence was restored, Bucky fell on the couch in a dead faint.

‘Have a good time, Sammy,’ he thought evilly.

Bucky went back to his apartment and ate dinner while waiting for the obligatory threatening text message he was sure to receive at any moment. By noon the next day, it still hadn’t come.

A full twenty-four hours after Bucky unleashed the Chatty Cathy horror that was Darcy upon an unsuspecting Sam, his phone finally went off. Sam had sent him a photo. It was of him with Darcy in his lap, kissing his cheek. There was writing on her neck he hadn’t seen before. It looked like the singular ‘no’ on his bicep.

‘Thanks for finding her for me.’

Bucky crushed the phone.

**

‘Just great,’ he thought later on after failing to fix his ruined phone. ‘Now I need to buy a new one and Sam is one up on me. I can’t believe that guy. Here I was trying to make peace with him, and all he wants to do is be a two-year-old kicking sand in my face. Un-fucking-real. Of all the people I have to be destined for. I don’t even want to think about what my romantic soulmate will be like.’

He stepped outside and ran straight into a petite figure, stopping his train of thought. The woman, soft where he was solid, bounced off him like a ping pong ball. She was no bigger than Steve before the serum, and some long-buried protective instincts rose to the surface as he bent over her.

“Jesus, I am so sorry. Let me help you.”

“I’m fine,” she said, pushing the hair out of her eyes. “Should’ve looked where I was going. I always do that.”

She got up using his arm as leverage. Bucky would’ve helped properly, but her words were burning in his brain and on his back. He stared at her like an idiot, like he hadn’t been lectured by his father every day on what to do when this day came. Something about being a gentleman and inviting her to dinner which he had to pay for. Maybe that last part was different with the modern day’s more egalitarian attitude towards dating, but at the very least, he shouldn’t be staring so much. Or at all.

“Sorry,” she said nervously, hands stuffed in her pockets. “I’m Jane Foster, I think you know my friend, Darcy.”

Bucky nodded. “Uh huh…”

Jane bit her lip. “She told me I should come and talk to you. I’m not sure why... actually, did I just say your-”

“Soulmate words,” he said with her. “Yeah, I… I think you did.”

He took Jane’s hand and squeezed it. Not too tight, just enough to feel her warmth. She squeezed right back and suddenly, the day was a little brighter.

**

It became easy to avoid Sam. He just had to spend all his free time with Jane. Getting to know her, learning about her research, taking her on long walks through the park, kissing her in the moonlight, making her cry out his name in ecstasy under the sheets.

He barely thought of Sam for a whole month. If they worked together, they didn’t speak unless it was mission critical. Nobody knew about their secret bond as of yet. Steve chalked the animosity up to stress and never tried playing mediator. For Christmas, Tony gifted them a ‘get-along’ shirt, which was promptly stolen by Jane and used as a sweat rag while she performed maintenance on her weather machines.

It was, shockingly enough, she who breached the topic two days after he and Sam took down a suicide bomber and only got the bomb dismantled with four seconds to go.

“Look, it’s not that simple,” Bucky said, pressing an ice pack to his head. He wasn’t in pain anymore, but with the cold came numbness. He needed some of that right now. “I’ve been trained in a lot of things, but diffusing bombs is not one of them. We got it in the end.”

“Yeah, barely,” Jane said, turning a wrench way harder than she needed to. “If you’d been one second late, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. Because you’d be dead. You understand that, right?”

Bucky did realize it, and it really sucked. He never wanted to be one of those guys who complained about ‘nagging girlfriends’, especially when Jane had every reason to be mad at him. He just… really didn’t want to have this conversation.

“What do you want me to do?”

Jane dropped the wrench and took a seat on the table. She was so light, it barely squeaked under her weight.

“Darcy told me you and Sam were arguing the whole time,” she puts a hand on his face, making him meet her gaze. “That’s why you were having problems.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“He’s your partner. And your soulmate.”

“You’re my soulmate.”

“Look, I know romantic and platonic soulmates aren’t the same thing, but they’re not so different either.” Jane wrapped her arms around him, moving from the table to his lap. “Most people don’t even have one soulmate, let alone two. People like us… we’re basically born with an emotional support system already laid out for us, and that’s not something to run away from.”

Bucky furrowed his brow. “Us? You have a platonic mark, too?”

The non-sequitur bugged her. He could tell without her saying anything. She pulled back her hair to show him the words behind her ear. It was such a small space, no wonder he’d never noticed before.

“Man this place is hot as balls. How do you even stand it?” he read, a grin forming. “Darcy, huh?”

Jane giggled. “The first few weeks were the worst. We couldn’t agree on anything. She drove me so nuts I had to sleep on the roof by the firepit.”

That didn’t sound right. Bucky had seen them together a bunch of times (without Sam of course) and those girls couldn’t be closer if they were sisters.

She seemed to read his mind. “We needed time to get where we are now, and I think you can have the same thing with Sam if you try.”

“He won’t try,” Bucky said. “He’s hated me from the start. Not that I blame him. We didn’t meet under the best circumstances.”

“None of that was your fault, Bucky. Sam knows that.”

“Does he?”

“Yes.” Jane touched her forehead to his. “I know I can’t force you to talk to him, but at least think about it. Because deep down, I think you guys do care about each other, or this wouldn’t be hurting you so much.”

“It’s not,” he said, even though lying to her felt worse than a punch to the chest.

“Just promise me you’ll be civil with him. You know, so you don’t get blown up.”

“I promise,” Bucky mumbled. Then he buried his face in the crook of her neck where he could forget all his troubles.

**

Sam was in the lounge, which sucked because it should’ve been empty this time of day.

Bucky was only there because he had no bad guys to fight and Jane wouldn’t be back from her meeting for another half hour. With nothing else to do, he’d hoped to get a nap in and maybe watch some TV. Instead, he found the bane of his existence resting in a recliner (the one Bucky usually sat in of course) reading a book and pretending to be dead to the world.

Which he wasn’t. Bucky knew that because his hands tensed and his breathing sped up as Bucky made a spot for himself on the couch.

The TV was in the corner and the remote within reach. He should’ve turned it on, but he didn’t. He grabbed a magazine off the coffee table. Nobody knew why Tony kept them when nobody ever read them. When asked, he’d only say it was for aesthetic purposes. Whatever that meant.

“So…” he licked his lips. “Nice weather we’re having.”

“Yeah,” said Sam.

“Pretty warm for March. Must be that climate change thing I keep hearing about.”

“Right.”

Bucky rolled his shoulders. Sam scratched his nose. They continued their reading as Bucky found himself on the same sentence six times. Every few seconds, his eyes flicked to Sam, searching for the slightest shift in expression. He soon gave up on the illusion of reading and set the magazine down.

He was ready to just leave, but if he didn’t say his peace, Jane would never let him hear the end of it. Best to get it over with and then go back to their mutual denial of each other’s existence.

Bucky took a breath-

“I’m sorry, okay?”

-and released it. Hard. His chest hurt now. “What did you say?”

Sam groaned like repeating himself was worse than the labors of Hercules. “You heard me. I’m sorry. I’ve been acting like a jerk and being unfair, so I’m sorry. I promise not to do it again.”

Bucky appraised him, his pursed lips and tight posture, like he was reciting lines for a play. “Did Darcy put you up to this?”

“You bet she did.” Sam returned to his book. He appeared to be on the wrong page. “Jane put you up to it?”

“She wants us to make up and get along because that’s what soulmates do. Did you know she and Darcy are platonic?”

“Yeah, I saw the mark.”

Bucky sighed and rubbed his face. “They’re not going to let it go until we make up for real.”

“Eh, they’ll get bored.”

“No we won’t!” Darcy and Jane stuck their heads out from behind the kitchen counter. Jane’s cursed as she realized they were caught and forced Darcy down. “Uh… I mean, pay no attention to the women next to the fridge. Carry on as you were”

Sam rolled his eyes but couldn’t hold back a grin. Neither could Bucky.

“I guess we could try,” he said. “Make a fresh start or some shit.”

“We could also do nothing,” said Sam.

“You could also sleep on that couch for a month,” Darcy snapped. “You, too, Bucky.”

“That’s not up to you, Lewis.”

“Bucky,” Jane said in her rarely used but deadly ‘I’m pissed’ voice. “Couch.”

Sam and Bucky looked at each other. They both knew how this was going to end, no point in delaying it. Bucky curled his fingers, then relaxed them. He held his hand out to Sam. “Hi, I’m Bucky. I’m your platonic soulmate. Nice to meet you.”

Sam looked at his hand like it was covered in mud, then took it anyway. “Sam Wilson. Nice to meet you, too.”

They shook and, somewhere in the back of Bucky’s mind where he never ventured, he was actually kind of glad for the semi-truce. Maybe one day, they really could have a nice friendship the way fate intended. Darcy and Jane certainly thought so. They came out of hiding, Darcy already with her phone out.

“This is gonna be my new Facebook header.” She motioned at Sam. “Come on, Sammy, let’s do this.”

He stood reluctantly and let Bucky put an arm around him.

“Sammy, huh?”

“Shut the hell up.”

They smiled for the camera. The photo proudly adorned Darcy’s page for the next few months. And of course, they’d given each other bunny ears.

#sam and bucky #sam wilson #Bucky Barnes #soulmate au #platonic soulmates

[blurry-fics]

Chapter Seventeen

Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 1447

Author’s Note: Ok, so I know this post is going up way, way, way earlier than usual, but I’m going to be traveling all day and right now was the only time that I was guaranteed to post until much later tonight. Of course, this also means I’ll be a lot slower to respond to comments, but I will make sure to respond as soon as I can! Anyway, enough rambling, enjoy the chapter :)

Josh was already awake and in the shower by the time that you woke up the next morning. You immediately started grinning as you remembered what had happened last night. Your heart started to beat a little bit faster as you remembered how soft Josh’s lips had been. He walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed and ready for the day.

“Morning,” you said, sitting up and smiling at him.

“Hey,” he said, avoiding eye contact with you as he packed up his stuff.

You were a bit taken aback by the way he was acting towards you, but you brushed it off. Something upsetting could have happened this morning that you didn’t know about. Rather than questioning what was going on, you got up and quickly began to get ready. You were expected to be down in the lobby in the next thirty minutes so that you could leave and you still had to pack up all your equipment.

Josh barely spoke to you as you packed up your things. It was almost like the conversation had never happened last night and you two were still being weird around one another. The thought of the kiss meaning nothing put a bad feeling in your stomach, but you tried your best not to think about it. Maybe Tyler would have something to say about the situation.

Unfortunately for you, Tyler had still yet to come downstairs by the time that you and Josh were stepping out of the elevator. You went and took a seat in the same chair as last night while Josh handed your room keys off to the tour manager. There was still a bit of time left before you had to leave, so you pulled your laptop out and got a head start on the day’s editing.

“Morning,” Tyler grumbled.

You looked up at him. His hood was pulled up over his head and there were deep bags under his eyes. One look at him told you that he hadn’t gotten enough sleep.

“Troubles sleeping?” you asked.

Tyler rolled his eyes and dropped his voice to a whisper, “The crew member that I got paired with wouldn’t stop snoring. It took me two hours to fall asleep. Two hours.”

“Yeah, my night wasn’t much better.”

Tyler’s eyebrows furrowed and he took a seat in the chair next to you, “What happened?”

You shut your laptop and glanced over to where Josh was standing with the rest of the crew, completely out of earshot.

“We kissed.” Tyler brought his hands up to the sides of his head in shock. You smiled at his reaction for a moment. “There’s more to it than that.”

“No, please, I don’t want to hear it,” he scrunched his nose up.

“No, not like that,” you laughed. “We talked through the entire situation and I told him why I was upset and he apologized, but when we woke up this morning he acted like none of it happened. Things are just like they were before, except now he’s being the distant one.”

“Oh.”

“I was hoping you might have some insight.”

Tyler shook his head, “He’s liked you since the beginning of the first leg. I have no idea why he’s chickening out now that you guys actually know you have mutual feelings.”

“Great,” you muttered, leaning back into the chair. “That’s helpful.”

“Sorry. I can try to figure out more if you want.”

“No, no. This is something for Josh and I to work out.”

“Ok. Then I’ll be here for emotional support,” he smiled.

“Thanks, Ty.”

“Y/N! Tyler! Let’s go!” the manager called.

You let out an audible groan and rubbed your eyes. It seemed like the number of photos that you had to edit wasn’t getting any smaller, no matter how many you finished.

“Are you ok?” Tyler asked, looking over to you from the couch.

“No,” you sighed, burying your face in your hands. “I’ve been editing for so long that I can hardly see straight.”

“Why don’t you take a break and have a snack?” Tyler asked. “You’ve been working all morning.”

“I just don’t want to get behind.”

“It’s fine. You deserve a break, Y/N/N. Besides, if we don’t have enough photos we can just use some from other dates that didn’t get posted. They’ll never know the difference,” he laughed.

“But I will,” you said, closing your laptop and taking a moment to stretch.

Josh had been sitting on the couch next to Tyler for the entirety of your conversation, but hadn’t said anything. Usually he was the one that would force you to step away from your computer when you got frustrated.

“How many do you have left?”

“I think two, maybe three hundred to sort through. Then I just have to edit my favorites.”

“That’s not bad, plus we still have an hour until we get to the venue.”

“Ty, I’m already taking a break. You can stop coming up with more excuses,” you laughed, taking a seat next to him on the couch.

“Fine.”

He held out a hand and you dumped some of the popcorn that you were eating into his hand.

“You guys excited for night two?”

“Always am,” Tyler answered.

“Josh?” you asked, leaning around Tyler so that you could see him.

He glanced up at you and met your eyes for a second before looking back down at his phone, “Yeah.”

You and Tyler shared a look. This back and forth of being distant that was happening between you and Josh was quickly growing tiring. All you wanted was some sort of straight answer as to what was going on between the two of you.

“I think we have an interview before the show tonight. Are you going to try and take some pictures, Y/N/N?”

“Oh, there is? I didn’t know that, but I can totally tag along for pictures.”

“Great,” Tyler smiled.

You watched as Josh stood up and walked off towards his bunk. Tyler turned to you and frowned.

“I don’t know why he’s being like this,” he whispered.

“It’s fine,” you lied, giving a slight shrug of your shoulders. “I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough.”

“Yeah.”

“So, this interview. Who’s doing it?”

“Some local radio station, I think. They just want to talk about the new album and the first part of the tour. It’s normal stuff.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“It shouldn’t be, as long as they don’t ask stupid questions,” he laughed.

“If they do, just give them equally stupid answers.”

Tyler reached up and rubbed his chin, “Yeah, I like that idea. I’ll get Josh in on it too.” He stood up from the couch and stretched his arms for a moment, “I think I’m going to take a nap.”

“Good idea. You look tired.”

“Thanks,” he laughed with a roll of his eyes.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you said, reaching out to lightly swat at his leg.

“Uh huh.”

He walked off to his bunk and you returned to your laptop. Now that you would have a ton of interview photos to edit later that night, you needed to get even more work done now. A quiet tour bus was the perfect opportunity for you to get ahead.

You were nearing the end of the photos when Josh walked back out. He looked around the bus for a moment with furrowed eyebrows.

“Where’s Tyler?” he asked, eyes never meeting yours.

“Sleeping,” you muttered.

Your eyes followed him as he moved across the room to grab some water. He sat down on the couch with a sigh and began to scroll through his phone. You almost asked him what was going on, but decided that was a bad idea with the potential of Tyler waking up at any moment. Besides, you weren’t really feeling up to that conversation right now.

“How are the photos going?” he asked.

You looked up, surprised that he was even talking to you. His eyes were still locked on his phone.

“Pretty good. I’m almost done, if you want to see some.”

You flexed your hands to stop them from shaking. It was just Josh, there was no need to panic about asking him a simple question.

“I’m ok.”

Even though that was the answer you had been expecting, hearing him say it still felt like a punch in the gut. You nodded and went back to editing photos, chewing on your lip to distract you from what Josh had said. If you didn’t figure out what was going on with him soon, you were pretty sure that you were going to lose your mind.

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[banditthewriter]

Choose Your Fate - Matt Murdock - 3

I know you guys have been waiting for this part for a while! Sorry about that. Hope you enjoy!

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!

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Enjoy!

***** Garden Well Assisted Living was a wonderful facility. While apprehensive to start with, Fran actually settled in pretty quickly. You were sure that she could probably tell you a hundred things about the other residents and she'd only been there for two days. "What do you want from dinner? The nurse said that you have a menu?" She gestured at the counter from where she was sorting through her photo albums. With a smile you headed over to where she had gestured to try to find the dinner menu. She had been in pretty good spirits all day and you were so glad to see it. The guilt of her having to be there at all had been building, but at least you knew she wasn't going to be miserable. While looking for the menu, you saw something sticking out from under the phone that was on the counter. You pulled out the business card and looked at the name on it. Nelson and Murdock. It took a moment for it to sink in why those names were familiar. "Why do you have this?" You held up the card and when Fran looked at you, you were surprised that she recognized it from the distance. "It's good to have a lawyer in the family," she said as she turned back to her photo albums. "They aren't family Aunt Fran," you said, half in confusion and half in exasperation in case she was needling about you and Matt again. Fran turned to look at you with her hands on her hips. "Everyone is family in Hell's Kitchen," she said stubbornly. You rolled your eyes and put the card back on the counter. You even made a big show of picking up the menu to look over the dinner options. "Chicken," she said pointedly. You turned to look at her, surprised, and she grinned at you. "I'm just saying that I'd like chicken for dinner dear." "Sure you were," you said with a laugh as you walked over and handed her the menu. She wouldn't be your Aunt Fran if she wasn't putting her two cents in. ------ It wasn't that the furniture was hideous or anything. Fran might have said she had the taste of an old woman, but a lot of it wasn't that bad. The biggest problem was that Fran was a bit of a hoarder on top of her items mostly being twenty or more years old. You had your furniture and things delivered from your apartment, the movers happy to take away Fran's stuff to the nearby Habitat for Humanity store. The front door was open so it didn't surprise you when you heard your name being called. You jogged from the bedroom and stopped short when you saw Matt in the hallway. Thankfully he couldn't see you in your old college t-shirt and sweatpants with sweat making your hair wet. "Hey Matt," you called as you walked around some boxes and stepped into the hallway. "Hopefully the movers weren't being too disruptive. I figured moving on a weekend would mean less people would hate me for moving so early." "No worries," he said with a smile, reaching up to adjust his glasses. "Getting settled in?" "Just had the last load delivered from my apartment. They were also nice enough to take the rest of Fran's stuff that she didn't want to Habitat for Humanity." "Better than a dump," he replied with surprise and approval. "I'd uh, offer to help you but I don't think my interior decorating skills are that reliable." The self deprecating humor made you smile and you nudged his shoulder with yours. "It's fine, but I do appreciate the offer." You turned to look in the apartment and sighed as you saw just how much stuff you'd need to go through. As if he was able to tell that you weren't looking forward to it, he cleared his throat and stepped forward a bit. "I've been told by Foggy and a few other people that I'm passable company," he began with a grin. "Might not be much help, but I could keep you company while you organize? If I wouldn't be in the way." The offer made you smile a bit like an idiot. Accepting the offer, you told him that you'd break down and make dinner after a while if he was interested. "Fran taught me a lot so I promise not to poison you or something." While you organized and moved things around, he helped when he could. Even if he just sat on the floor and didn't touch a thing, you were grateful for the company. It felt like it had been so long since you'd had a real conversation with an adult that wasn't Fran. The two of you mostly talked about growing up. He told you about growing up in the orphanage and how the nuns raised him. The stray joke about being a good Catholic boy left way for some indecent jokes but you gamely bit your tongue. He wasn't as quick to bite his tongue when it came to picking on you for your childhood. "Wait, you lived in Florida for a week? I don't think that's considered living there. I'm pretty sure that's called a vacation." You laughed as you seasoned the vegetables before you popped them into the oven. "Looking back, it was not a good way for me to be raised, but I loved my parents and it was fun so what did I know?" You heard your phone ding and you frowned at it across the room. "I'll be right back." You walked over to where your phone had been left all day. There were a few missed messages but the person who had been calling you was Lucas. The screen had gone dark when you got there but it lit back up with another call and you hesitated before you simply turned your ringer off. Without thinking about the choice you just made, you flipped your phone over and walked back to the kitchen to finish dinner. When you got back to the kitchen, Matt was perched on the stool at the island. You hadn't even thought about needing a kitchen table but you'd have to put it onto your shopping list. He turned his head when you approached and you saw his concerned face turn into a smile. "So, is your roommate okay with you moving out? You said she works with you at the school, right?" "Yeah," you said, pleased that he remembered. "I'm paid up for the next two months so she has time to find someone else. She's happy for me though. I'll introduce you to her some day." The thought that he might like her more than you came over like a wave and you pushed the thought away. It was ridiculous to let that worry you. "She actually got me a bottle of wine as a house warming," you said as you looked over to where you had put it. "Would you like some with dinner?" His smile was answer enough, but you still waited until he said that it was good with him. At some point during the meal, he dropped a little of the white wine on his shirt. Thankful that it wasn't red, you immediately went over to grab some paper towels to at least soak it up. You handed them to him and stepped back so that he could try to clean himself up a bit. As he did so, the shirt got untucked a bit from the waistband of his pants. Raised up as it was, you were able to get a glimpse of his side and some of his back. Your first thought was that you were being kind of creepy to stare at a blind man, but then you caught sight of something. Bruises, maybe even scars. He'd mentioned an orphange; was he abused as a kid? But no, the scars seemed newer. And of course the bruises wouldn't have lasted this long. The shirt had fallen back in place so you convinced yourself it had been a trick of the light. You must have imagined it. There was a moment as he was putting the paper towels on the table where you watched him freeze, his head tilting a bit as if he heard something. You strained your ears to see if you heard maybe his phone going off or something in the distance, but nothing. Before you could think more of it, he turned to you and smiled. "I hate to eat and run, but I have an early morning. I really enjoyed dinner though." You smiled and walked with him towards the door, letting him out. Without thinking twice, you gave his hand a squeeze as he passed by you. "You're welcome any time," you said with a second squeeze before you released his hand. "Goodnight Matt." As he tells you goodnight, you think he might have something else on the tip of his tongue. Instead he simply smiled tightly and moved into his apartment quickly. You were almost wondering if you should be insulted, but instead you just laugh and head back into your apartment. ------ There's a closet that you hadn't touched when Fran had moved. She told you that it was the junk closet but that if you had any worries, you could snap pictures and she'd tell you if it was okay to throw the things away. Since it was your last day before you had to go back to work, you decided it was as good of a time as any to start in on it. The first thing you saw was an extreme number of newspapers. As you started to pull them out to throw them away, you noticed the one thing they all had in common. They were all about the man in black, the vigilante. What did they call him, the Devil of Hell's Kitchen? Some of them were so old that they were yellowed. It seemed like Fran was quite the supporter because she only kept the nice articles when you knew there were plenty more that said how bad he was. She always did have a thing for taking in strays, you reminded yourself with a smile as you put the newspapers back in the box you had found them in. You wouldn't throw them out just yet. The next day you had to go back to work. The kids were all happy to see you and while you didn't want to be a teacher for the rest of your life, you had to admit that there were a lot of good parts of it. And it was good to see Meredith too. She asked about the apartment and made sure you were settling in. And as the two of you sat in your shared classroom for lunch, you had the feeling that she was hiding something. "Mere?" She looked up at you and smile and you looked at her expectantly. "Something on your mind?" "I wasn't going to say anything," she said as she put her elbows on the desk and stared at you. "I was going to bite my tongue because it's not my place, but I have to tell you. Just remember that you're my best friend, okay?" After you laughed and promised that you'd remember, she sighed and leaned back in her chair. "I saw Lucas last night with some girl. They seemed cozy." You laughed and pushed your pudding cup over to her. "It's fine," you said with a shrug. "Honestly Mere. We aren't exclusive or anything." Meredith frowned at you and then a grin started to spread over her face in a way that made you a little apprehensive. "What?" "Nothing," she said with a grin as she accepted the pudding cup and cleaned off her spoon. "This Matt guy must be something else." "I barely know him," you shot back, but she pointed the white plastic spoon at you and reminded you, "You're an excellent judge of character." You were. Maybe that's why you were so attached to him already. There was something there, something you weren't sure the name of but it filled you with happiness. You just weren't sure he felt the same. But you were pretty sure he felt something and that was a start. ------ While you looked at the information for your last semester for your degree, your phone vibrated on the desk beside you. You shot a look at it and away before the name registered. Lucas. You'd been ignoring his calls and texts lately. A surge of guilt went through you and you picked up the phone to check it. Sorry I didn't respond to the text about your aunt. I didn't see it at first and then when I did, I kept getting distracted. It was kind of a dick move. Yeah it was, you typed back as you put the phone back down. You knew that he didn't mean to be a dick, but sometimes it felt like he couldn't help it. A few moments later your phone went off again. Meet me for dinner? There's some stuff I want to talk to you about. Please? You hesitated, your fingers hovering over the keys. You wanted to say that you were busy or even just put your phone back down. For some reason the image if your next door neighbor flashed before your eyes. While you liked Matt, it wasn't like he had given you any sure sign that he was interested in you that way. And it wasn't like you were going to go and sleep with Lucas; it was just dinner. After another brief moment of hesitation, you typed out a quick response. X A post for voting will be up right after this. X

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[jikooksgirl]

🍀💌

wow can you believe i finally did it sajfnkjf i went off as expected so it’s under read more i love you so much kathi im so so sorry i took so much time to do this im the worst🤧❤💓💝💞💕💖💌 

You’re my:my actual soulmate👭 my r&b/bachata/reggaeton loving partner!!! i’m always just so amazed by how alike are our music tastes and everything else in general sdjknakjf like, it’s just so hard to find someone who loves and enjoys the same music/artists i do and that i can scream and go off about them without being judged!! one of my best friends💖, one of the people i love and cherish the most in this world and i would die for, actual jimin’s angel👼, one of the most gold hearted, loving and caring persons i’ve ever had the privilege to meet!! like you truly are an angel kathi i’m not even being dramatic how are you even real🤧 the one w whom i go off the most sjanjdfn like we really cant shut up even once right bub?? we always go off about the most simple things anjasnf that’s why it’s always so hard for us to keep up w our conversations bc we never can talk w just some sentences or some words but we always write the biggest paragraphs ever djskanf i love us!! my extra-dramatic-long-tags and studio ghibli loving partner👭, also you’re my club partner even if we haven’t been on a club together dsjanjf but i know you would be and we would have the time of our lives so!! the one w whom i share almost all of my biases sajknd and im really so happy it’s you!!💗 you’re honestly everything kathi you’re like family to me i love you so much💗❤💓💝   How I met you:omg it was such a long time ago we’ve been mutuals for a long time now back when you were pjmsboo and i was chimchimshi sajndjk i don’t remember who followed who first tbh but everything started by us tagging each other specially on jimin’s posts (which i’ve been lacking so much lately asjkdkf i’m sorry) and i’m just so grateful to jimin and bts bc thanks to them i got to know such an beautiful person🌈💝🌻 but idk why we never really talked to each other in private like what was wrong w us?? tbh in my case was bc i thought you were too cool to talk to me sajdnf your blog was so aesthetic and you interacted w a lot of ppl so i was too shy to talk to you!! but sarah got the amazing idea of creating a jimin gc and now here we are, closer than ever👩‍❤️‍👩💞💕💖💌      Why I follow you: ok but WHY I WOULDN’T BE FOLLOWING YOU??? honestly any jimin stan/army/aesthetic blog/human being should be following you right now so if anyone isn’t following kathi what are you doing w your life?? you and your blog are always so full of love, good vibes and happiness you’re always so caring and giving so much love to your followers and mutuals and always tagging us in the things we love the most and even if you sometimes think it’s annoying trust me IT ISN’T LIKE THAT AT ALL!!! you make us so so happy and smile all the time, tbh if every blogger were like you tumblr would be such a better place bc you’re always so thoughtful and caring radiating so much love it makes me so so soft!!! your selfies saved my life a hundred times already you’re an actual goddess!!💘 and also please any jimin stan would agree that you’re truly THE QUEEN OF LONG POETIC TAGS AND EXPRESSING YOUR LOVE FOR JIMIN!!!💘💓💗 your love for him is so wholesome and pure and i’m just so happy i decided to hit that follow bottom like i really can imagine not following you, you make me so happy🤧💗💞🍒Your blog is: the only blog that matters?? one of my absolute faves!!! as i said you and your blog are so full of softness and love i’m always so happy when i go to your blog and even if you keep telling me i’m the queen of tags YOU’RE TRULY THE QUEEN HERE!! you always write actual essays and novels about your love for jimin (and jeon…😈) and you just love and cherish every single detail about him it’s the cutest thing ever!! and there aren’t just normal tags but you really use such poetic words like sjadnjsf sometimes i don’t even understand some words and im like this girl is really so extra i love it sm!! tbh you would be such an amazing novel writer kathi!! i’m so so happy jimin has someone who loves him as much as you do he truly deserves someone like you and he’s so so lucky bc he has you i’m the biggest kamin shipper!!💘 and obviously your aesthetic is absolutely flawless i’ve seen you care so much about it asnjdfn like it’s so funny bc you’re even extra about your aesthetic and if something doesn’t fit well w it you feel bad sjasdj you’re so cute🤧💗 Your URL is: the most accurate thing in the world like!! i’m not the only one who says this but everyone can agree w me that you’re truly jimin’s angel?? it just makes so much sense he’s your bias bc you’re as angelic and loving as he is💓 y’all would really be that couple who’s always radiating so much love, warmth and supporting each other as well as your loved ones giving all of you even if y’all aren’t completely ok🤧💖 tbh there isn’t another url that could fits you the best kathi, this url was truly made for you and describes you so well and im glad that you’re the one who has it bc you truly are an angel for jimin, me and everyone who’s lucky to have you in their lives🍯💓💗 Your icon is: my girlfriend🤧 asjkndkjaf one of the most beautiful girls i’ve ever seen in my entire life like!! i’m really so weak for her ajsnjfnj honestly every single blackpink member is such a bias wrecker for me and i bias them all but jennie is really coming for me and i’m all here for it!!😣❤ she’s so so gorgeous and talented and just!! look at her in your icon sakjnsfj she looks so so cute and soft w her chin on her hands and that plain white tshirt and her flawless long hair!! when will i ever?? god i really can’t wait for their comeback and i’m so excited to see what they’ve prepared for us!! and just by seeing her teaser pic sdjkanjkfnjf i swear i had 284182491275 heart attacks she’s absolutely stunning!!!! i love this baby girl so much i would die for her😣💕❤A random fact I know about you: omg idk which one to say out of all of them sjakdnjsa ok but you’re so passionate about so many things it always amazes me?? even if you think you’re not talented enough for some of them trust me you HAVE ALL THE TALENT IN THE WORLD TO BE ABLE TO DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO!!!! you love dancing and theater and i just cant believe once again how much in common we have jdnsjaf and baby for real i think that even if you only do it as a hobby you could get really far doing it i really thing you have the talent!!💖 also you love r&b so much and it just makes me so happy to have someone which whom i can scream and go off about one of the music genres i grew up too and like?? we even have the same fave r&b artists and the same opinions and i just LOVE sharing opinions w you so so so much kathi it always makes me so happy and i learn about so much things w you💓💗 also we always have the same faves in every group or solo artists?? like it’s so funny we have the same taste and as i said if i have to share my babies w anyone i couldn’t be more grateful that you’re the one!! honestly they’re all so lucky to have you🌈 i also know you’re gonna look ABSOLUTELY BOMB at your brother’s weeding like bitch i still can’t get over how absolutely stunning and breathtaking you look w that red dress asnjfknjkasf you truly look like a greek goddess pls take lots of photos!!!💗💞💕❤ and obviously i know your weak for jeon but you don’t want to accept it sajdnjf even if we all already know you’re completely whipped for that boy and you’re not 100% loyal to jimin as you always lie omg sorry say!!😘General opinion: your friendship is without a doubt one of the best things that has ever happened to me and i will forever grateful you chose me as your friend like, you’re truly an angel kathi i’m honestly not worthy of your friendship at all🤧💘💞💝❣️💋 i’m truly so lucky to have you in my life and you’re such an amazing, caring, loving, and loyal friend and it’s so rare to find a friend like that these days! you’re always worrying and looking after me, you’re always there for me and you’re so mature i always look after your advice and your words! and you’re always so sweet to me like sometimes i even feel like i don’t deserve the things you say to me or think about me sakjnjkf you have so much love to give and i’m so thankful you chose me as one of the ppl you want to give it! i always enjoy talking to you so much even if sometimes we don’t talk for days and i miss you, i know it’s because we’re busy but when we get to talk it’s just so amazing how i can talk w you about everything or anything and you never judge me! like tbh every time we talk it’s the most amazing experience we always go off about everything (we even go off about studio ghibli movies or songs/albums/movies we’re looking forward like?? djkansjkfn i love us!!) anyways anyone who gets to interact or be w you every day irl is truly the luckiest people in the world can’t relate🤧 i hope our friendship lasts for a long long long loooong time and we get to meet and go have the time of our lives dancing in a club 👭💓💗💞 i truly love and cherish you incredebly much kathi and i know you’re really insecure about yourself and about people around you but never forget i really love you and you’re really important to me, and i’m not the only one who thinks that way. you know you can talk w me about anything, in the good times but specially in the hard times, i’m always here for you bub!✨ tbh even if this is so long (and i took 387483298748 years to do this sdjknaf i’m really so sorry i don’t know how don’t you hate me bc of it) all of these would never sufise to describe what you mean to me, you’re like a sister to me and i love you so so much, i wish you nothing else but happiness and i hope my friendship makes you as happy as you make me w yours, i love you sm kathi 🤧💗💓💕💖💫⭐💘💞💝❣️💌💋💛💙💜💚❤️️👼✨💐👭👩‍❤️‍👩🌸🌷🍀🌹🌻🌺🌼🌈☀️🌙🌟🍒🍇🍉🍓🍑🍌🍍🍫🍦🍬🍭🍯 A random thought I have: when are you going to accept your love for jeon like🤔🔍 i’m waiting here it’s already so obvious😈 come to the dark side!! even if we’re starving here sjknajf but we love our boy a lot🤧💓💗🍒🍯 askjnakdn i love you kathi!!!💓💗💞

#no more pls! actually i took 37828734673829837438928738928329 years to do this one bc i've been so busy im so so so sorry kathi!!! #im really the worst friend ever sjnadkjs but i love you so much :( also i didn't check if there were some mistakes bc as i told you i've #written a lot already on another one and it got deleted sjkandkja so i didn't re-read this one so i'm sorry if there's #a lot of mistakes😣 i love you a lot kathi (for the 448273843258 time) i hope you know that and i think the first one was even #longer IM SO MAD I HATE MY PC sjdnjkaf but i went off too in this one so💞💝❣️💌💋 #jiminsangel #answered

[lj-todd]

Bookish Questions

Bookish Questions

I was tagged by @ilily-23 :)

1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest? 1st Edition copy of Dracula I inherited from my grandmother when I was eight. The yellow jacket stands out really nicely against the black wood of the shelf :)

2. What is your current read, your last read and the book you’ll read next?Current read: We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver.  Last read: The Beguiled by Thomas P. Cullinan. I was intrigued by the release of Sofia Coppola’s remake of the film. Next Read: Probably The Witcher series by Andrzej Sapkowski.

3. Which book does everyone like and you hated? The Fifty Shades trilogy. I tried, when they first came out, because everyone was gushing about how amazing the books were. I got three chapters in, hated what I was reading and said “This reads like bad fanfic”, so I Googled the author to see what else she had written and BOOM! Found out my instincts were spot on with the bad fanfic.

4. Which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t? I have The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevski on my bookshelf…i reaally want to read it but there is something else picking my interest and i always forget?

5. Which book are you saving for “retirement? War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. I’ve actually read the first chapter but the book is insanely long and I just want to wait until I have the full time to sit and devote to this masterpiece.

6. Last page: read it first or wait till the end? Oh no, always wait until the end. I don’t like the idea of spoilers in anything, but especially not in anything I’m reading. It ruins the excitement of a good book.

7. Acknowledgements: waste of ink and paper or interesting aside? I always read the acknowledgements. If an author has taken the time to acknowledge or thank someone then it clearly mattered/was important to the author.

8. Which book character would you switch places with? Ah my favorite question! I would switch with Bilbo Baggins and go on an adventure with Gandalf when i turned fifty! Otherwise Hermione Granger because who wouldn’t want to go to Hogwarts?

9. Do you have a book that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)? Harry Potter. My friend and I used to take turns buying 2 copies every time a new book came out. One for each of us. Every time I look at those books I think of her and our shared love of HP and how willing and happy we both were to share with each other something that made us so happy.

10. Name a book you acquired in some interesting way. I did a work study program at a local library and we did a book drive one weekend and an elderly gentleman brought in a very large box of books. He stood and talked with me as I cataloged the books and when I came across an old copy of Treasure Island I explained how my grandfather had read me the book when I’d been little because I went through a “pirate phase” and he was trying to encourage me to live a life full of adventure. The gentlemen refused to donate Treasure Island and instead insisted I keep it because he said he saw the joy and love in my eyes when I spoke of my grandfather reading it to me. It now sits on a shelf next to a framed photo of me and my grandfather.

11. Have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special person? I gave a beloved copy of Winnie-the-Pooh, one of the first books I bought myself when I was a kid, to my friends when they had their little girl because I wanted her to be able to fall in love with the Hundred-Acre-Wood and Pooh and his friends. She’s now seven and, quite often, when I visit she insists I read the book to her because she knows I gave it to her and she loves it.

12. Which book has been with you to the most places? A battered old copy of ‘Salem’s Lot by Stephen King. It’s my go-to travel read. I’m actually surprised it’s still in one piece to be honest, lol.

13. Any “required reading” you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later? Lord of the Flies. Hands down. In high school it felt dry and boring but when I read it again in college I found it to be intriguing and the characters brilliant. I could finally see the beauty and horror of the plot.

14. What is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book? Bought a secondhand poetry book one time at a thrift shop and I found several pressed flowers in it. Can’t remember what happened to the book but the flowers are between the pages of an old photo album.

15. Used or brand new? It depends on if it’s meant to be part of a serious collection, like my Harry Potter books or my copies of The Strain trilogy. But honestly so long as the book is in good shape I’ll buy used over new because it’s usually more affordable.

16. Stephen King: Literary genius or opiate of the masses? Have loved King since I was a kid. I have nearly all his books but I especially love The Dark Tower series.

17. Have you ever seen a movie you liked better than the book? Interview with the Vampire. Not a word of a lie. I love the book but the movie, for me, takes it to a whole other level. And the biggest reason for that is the amazing casting choice of Tom Cruise as Lestat. He fit the role perfectly and is one of the only things I actually can say I love him in.

18. Conversely, which book should NEVER have been introduced to celluloid? Queen of the Damned. I just...can’t even with that movie. I felt terrible for Anne Rice and all her hard work in creating a complex world full of intriguing characters only to have it reduced to a half-assed love story.

19. Have you ever read a book that’s made you hungry, cookbooks being excluded from this question? Gonna sound a bit morbid but the Hannibal books by Thomas Harris. I can’t explain it but whenever I read them I need to have a snack ready or I end up having to get one after the first few pages.

20. Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take? My Mum. She encouraged me to read and write and often brought me home books that I almost always ended up falling in love with.

Tagging… @loriemitchell @groovygreevy @kwarcop and basicaly anyone that wants to do this! Asks are fun!

#personal #books #book #book asks #reading

[envodkados-blog]

Compact Digicam Guide

Features to Look For In a Digital Camera For Travel Photography. Update: The initial model of this evaluation didn't give correct credit to the Panasonic DMC-TS1's video capture, which not only also shoots 720p video, however allows optical zooming while doing so. The Panasonic Lumix LX15 is high-end, however, critically, comes minus the very best-finish price level. With its 58 sq mm dimension..about 1\2 the scale of a 1 inch sensor and far bigger than the great 1 1.7 sensors of the fanatic class a couple of yrs in the past. Point-and-shoots are engaging because of their small measurement and do-all functionality, however they've limitations from an optical best point and shoot camera perspective. This Nikon Coolpix L830 is doubtless top-of-the-line point and shoot cameras ever produced. A few of these housings are backwards suitable with the RX100 IV as effectively. This digital camera actually has best point and shoot camera no nasty surprises to it. It takes excellent photographs and respectable video, is a superb performer, nicely-constructed, great ergonomics, and has a straightforward to use interface. It's bought an excellent liveview mode too, helpful for those making the leap from compact cameras or smartphones, with responsive subject monitoring for sharp pictures of moving topics. While it's a lot thicker than a smartphone, the LX10 can nonetheless slip easily into a relaxed-fit denims pocket. Moreover, S9900 presents digital vibration discount which removes consequences of digital camera shake making the photographs smoother and more correct. All in all, Canon's new mirrorless digicam guarantees to be among the best available on the market, though we'll have to wait and see. Refine Your Outcomes By: Store Cameras + Camcorders. And the cherry on prime: the FZ1000 is among the solely cameras on this listing that shoots 4K video. All in all, the Samsung Galaxy Digital camera 2 is basically like a sensible phone that is traded its potential to make phone calls for the ability to take respectable quality pictures. It's going to still be notably higher than your smartphone, and packs a 32x zoom, small size, and simple to make use of touchscreen. Further features, equivalent to movement blur discount (which reduces digital camera shake), and HD video recording (720P) make this a fantastic buy and comfortably among the finest compact cameras accessible for under £one hundred. So I took the plunge and purchased the Fujifilm X20 and I used to be happy with my purchase for some time but then Fujifilm released the X30. While the DSCWX350 is our favorite digicam at this worth point, the Powershot SX620 definitely runs it close. I have been serious about shopping for a camera with giant sensor (eg. The Olympus is much cheaper than the Canon above regardless of its excellent CMOS sensor. Option to make use of touchscreen show for framing photos or using the viewfinder. Thanks to those features—combined with two lens rings, a thumb dial, and a number of other buttons on the rear of the digicam—you'll hardly ever have to burrow into the digital camera's menu to change settings. In digital photography, ISO refers back to the sensitivity of the camera's sensor, or how much gentle it absorbs in a given period of time. I usually travel to photograph wildlife and I would like a succesful zoom lens, which is why I hesitated about switching fully to mirrorless. As an additional advantage, you'll receive FREE worth transport on a big selection of non-eligible ShippingPass objects. Users can even add pictures from almost wherever through their suitable iOS® or Android gadget with the obtain of the free Canon CameraWindow app. It is one thing of a worth jump shifting as much as the Panasonic Lumix DMC-FS25, and for that you simply get... mainly the identical specs as the Canon. Shutter response is near-immediate, by the way, so you've gotten a great chance of catching whatever shot you've got scrambled to seize. The RX100 V packs a exceptional function set into a pocketable camera, supplied you could have sizable pockets. Due to this fact, if a photographer has a movie SLR digicam, full with lenses, the change to the DSLR is generally an easy one. The only buttons, physical or otherwise, are located alongside the precise-hand edge; you've got acquired a two-stage camera key, quantity rocker and power button, all of which are one kind of metallic or another. Its most notable characteristic is the massive APS-C picture sensor—the same size as many digital SLRs—in a compact physique that weighs less than eight ounces. That's solely 45 minutes less than the Z3, which carries a much larger 3,one hundred mAh battery, and is a nod to what you may anticipate with on a regular basis use. Plus, in case you are eager about hacking the software inside for more customization, try CHDK (Canon Hack Growth Equipment) which affords more options like UNCOOKED pictures and extra. Fujifilm X70 has a 16.three-megapixel APS-C X-Trans CMOS II sensor with a 6×6 major coloration filter pattern. Many level and shoot cameras include totally different taking pictures modes that routinely assist photographers get the most out of any scene. Quite a lot of cameras sit within the center, including the Canon G1 X II and G7 X II in addition to the Sony RX100 I/II. The Panasonic GH5 is the only choice for 4K 60p with stabilization. The costs of premium compact cameras have significantly climbed and now price more than entry-degree DSLR or Mirrorless fashions. First time digital camera users should get a Level And Shoot digicam. We evaluation the whole lot from fun and informal cameras to DSLRs and advanced system cameras that price 1000's, and have simmered down all our research to this simple-to-digest checklist of recommendations. All three are mounted on a rotating dial which is a part of bigger plane-grade aluminum case. Zoom can be improved over previous models, due to the motorized lens and built-in toggle. To make vibrant photographs clearer, the EX2F also contains Dual IS (OIS and DIS) to reduce the effect of shaking - significantly helpful in low-mild situations. It's one in all Samsung's greatest-looking handsets up to now, and carries the identical highly effective processor because the Z3 Compact. As well as, the XP120 sports activities an honest 16.four-megapixel CMOS sensor, three-inch LIQUID CRYSTAL DISPLAY and 1080p recording at 60fps. Such variety permits adjusting to various situations of a images course of. With its newest iteration, the Sony RX100 V , that holds true — but there is a catch. Aimed squarely at the Sony RX100 viewers, the Panasonic LX15 is a small digital camera with a one-inch sensor and a 24-72mm equal focal length vary. One other pocket-pleasant system which nonetheless manages to include a large sensor, the LX15 has the widest aperture (f/1.four) of cameras of its sort. With this mechanism, photos can't be previewed on the LCD screens of most digital SLRs, although some manufacturers have discovered a manner around this limitation. All else being equal, a larger sensor can seize more gentle, which results in cleaner, extra detailed pictures and better background blur when you're shooting at huge apertures. Geo-tagging retains observe of where the photographer has been, allowing them to shortly and simply share content with their community, while Bluetooth 2.zero and Wi-Fi capabilities enable for the best of uploads without having a computer. The new Star mode offers users the ability to capture the brilliance and marvel of the evening sky via the use of three scene modes. Here at Pocket-lint we have been chopping through the abundance of compact digicam releases over recent years, together with the creme de la creme of final yr's fashions which remain strong. The bonus feature here is that you may share your pictures to social media right from the digicam itself. With Samsung's convenient Good Album characteristic, you'll be able to shortly scroll by way of your total library of photographs and organize them in the way that's best for you. So, I recommend that you simply check out the pricier fashions. Which means Sony has continued manufacturing all five fashions which are nonetheless accessible for purchase at present. To make the image a bit more fascinating, play just a little with the location of the topic by keeping the topic just a little away from the center. We fell in love with the E-M5's insane focusing efficiency, but the digital camera's $1,100 package worth placed it out of attain for many shoppers. Professionals: Flexible camera that works in quite a lot of settings, can record 4K video, includes built-in GPS, affords a water-resistant physique, has a touchscreen display.