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amethystina · 2 months

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I wonder how Gaon and Yohan are going to explain the change in their interactions to Elijah, since it's going to be obvious to her that something has happened between them. Since Elijah knows that there's nothing between Gaon and Soo hyun, I wonder if she will play a role in clearing Yohan's misconception? Thanks for the update! I can't stop thinking how many ways this story can play out😅 Btw i really appreciate the time and effort you put into responding to our questions with such detail.

That definitely depends on who's doing the explaining xD Yo Han would just brush it off and pretend that nothing is happening — which would just piss her off — while Ga On would make a stilted effort to explain without making it too obvious what it's actually about. Which would also annoy her.

That poor girl, seriously. She doesn't deserve to get caught between these two idiots.

I'm not sure I agree that Elijah "knows" that there was nothing between Ga On and Soo Hyun, though. I think she very much thinks there was something between them. I mean, sure, they denied it when she asked if they were dating, but THE WAY they did so was pretty telling (especially in Soo Hyun's case). Even more so since Elijah is a bit... well, innocent? I think most of her experience with love comes from media, books etc. and how Ga On and Soo Hyun behaved is, well, straight from a drama xD

And Elijah also had that talk with Soo Hyun when they were eating ice cream on Ga On's terrace, where it became pretty obvious that Soo Hyun is in love with Ga On and has already confessed to him several times.

So I think Elijah very much believes they were in love. Which means she won't really play a role in convincing Yo Han otherwise — if asked, she'd probably only make it worse, even. Because her understanding of love is a bit superficial and probably pretty geared towards straightness. That's not to say that she's not aware of gay people (I think she might actually know more about that than Ga On does xD) but from the evidence she's seen both Ga On and Yo Han seem straight to her (because I can't imagine that Yo Han has flaunted his dalliances with other men in front of her).

I know I'm very, very firm about this but Elijah doesn't know that Yo Han and Ga On have the hots for each other. And not because she's stupid, but because she's grown up in a country where straightness is the norm and Yo Han has done everything he can to hide the depth of his and Ga On's relationship from her. Also, she's a self-centred teenager x'D

Like, take me for an example. I was around 23-24 and very comfortable in my own pansexuality but was still IN NO WAY PREPARED when my mum basically went: "I may only have had sex with two women in my life but, let me tell you — 10/10, would recommend." Because I had only ever seen her date and talk about men before and therefore assumed she had no interest in anything else. That's how easy it is to miss that someone close to you isn't entirely straight — especially if it's a parent/guardian.

So I really don't think that Elijah would notice until it gets a lot more obvious than this xD

Which wasn't technically what your ask was about (sorry for the tangent xD), but still important to know because Elijah really won't be all that helpful when it comes to Yo Han and Ga On figuring out their feelings for each other. In fact, she might just end up making things harder for them without meaning to. But more about that in later chapters ;)

ANYWAY. Thank you so much for the lovely ask! I'm so happy to hear that people are this excited and involved in my story! And, tbh, I can't help replying because I'm very excited, too, and love talking about my writing, my thoughts, and my takes on these characters. How could I resist? More often than not, I have to cut my answers short because I keep writing longer and longer ones.

Like, you guys have no idea how long the first drafts of my author's notes usually are. One time I had to cut half of it because it was reaching truly spectacular lengths. And sure, I know that some of you probably wouldn't complain if I had posted that first draft, but I'm trying to contain myself, okay? And also not reveal too much since it might end up spoiling future plot points. It's a constant struggle.

So yeah. I'm actually consciously holding back a lot of the time because I'm trying to not come off as completely unhinged x'D

#Amethystina Replies #Anonymous #Who Holds the Devil #I admit that I sometimes feel a little bad about being so firm about the Elijah situation #A lot of people seem to want her to be aware of Yo Han and Ga on's feeling?#And help them along?#But I genuinely don't see why she would be based on her character in the drama #She's incredibly clever yes #But also socially inept #(much like her uncle)#And a teenager #She's got her own problems to worry about #Her weird uncle's sexuality is NOT high on her list of priorities okay?

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naranjapetrificada · 7 months

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Fic recs based on what bits of s2 promotion made you go 👀

So obviously we only have a couple days left and I shouldn't have put this off for so long, but I've been making connections between fics I've encountered and questions raised by the teaser, trailer, and BTS video and thought I'd share some of them. Light (extremely light, like you've just emerged from an isolated cave light) s2 spoilers possible, although it's still mostly speculation?

Anyway this obviously got very long, so I'm throwing in a break now so I don't slow your scroll.

Maybe time in nature helps Ed do some healing?

Fallow Land & Bigger Sky, which I can't ever seem to shut up about was such a rewarding and healing read for me. Especially recommended for people who are interested in Ed's inner life, healing journey, and coping mechanisms, maladaptive or otherwise. Also folks who are excited for him to have an animal friend like Stede Bunnet, although in this fic it's a sweet little black lamb that he sometimes carries around in his shirt.

It begins with Ed having spent a year since The Dock living incognito on a remote (but not deserted!) island trying to get his head around everything that happened and looking for something like peace, however he can get it. It's written in an evocative, poetic way and includes some incredibly lovely flashbacks, believable character growth, important realizations, and tender emotional moments. The vibes are more pastoral than castaway, but Ed is still given time and space to do the work he needs to do in rugged, isolated surroundings so it still scratches that itch for me.

[There are definitely some triggers to be aware of but it feels like the author did a good job of mentioning them at the beginning of each chapter.]

Maybe they do some healing together?

There's no need to reinvent the wheel so I'm going to borrow heavily from an earlier post I made about healing and fanfic two make the case for these two:

Brace Yourself and Nestle into Me: The premise is that Ed and Stede figure out that they're into each other around episode 7, and they're deliriously happy to know that they feel the same way about each other. But Stede has some (understandable) sexual dysfunction around being queer thanks to the horrible society that he grew up in. Ed is a darling trying to help him through it all, and along the way he realizes he also has some of his own hangups he needs to work through, and that they can both support each other's healing.

I appreciate that this one doesn't treat healing like a straight line because it never is, and emphasizes that trust can't just be implicit, you really have to talk it through as a crew, even if it's just a crew of two broken middle-aged men who are desperately in love with each other. It also gets into some of the stuff I've been talking about on here about grieving your former selves and the selves you never got to be, which was validating as hell. That sounds heavy and there are concepts that are literally part of modern therapy modalities woven into the story, but there are also warm and loving and hilarious moments too, including this gem:

“Also can you just imagine how proud little horny baby gay Stede would be know you would be to know that whatever he went through, today you’ve got your own ship and are getting completely railed by Blackbeard? I mean, just absolutely dicked down by the most famous pirate in history? He would lose his mind.”

Adrift Between the Dreaming Seas: Based on my usual filtering on ao3 I probably never, ever would have come across this fic if it weren't for a recommendation someone posted here. It's got fantasy elements, allegory, metaphors stacked on metaphors, talking animals, and so many other things that would have kept me from ever discovering it on my own. My life would be poorer for it.

Basically Stede is cursed to be a lighthouse keeper on an island that seems to move around the world. Animals show up and the ones who talk to him are members of the crew, and Ed is an actual kraken. It's all this symbolism about monstrosity and trauma and maladaptive coping and the messiness that is Stede's kindness scraping against his self loathing. I shed tears of many kinds along the way, and it made me think hard about community and recovery and the things we do to and for ourselves and others.

It's just a lovely little gem of a story that made me feel so much so deeply while also making me laugh much more than I was anticipating. I'm so glad I gave it a chance.

Maybe there's a massive, life-altering storm?

A World of Tempestuous Things, which is nearly finished and has been such a rewarding, moving journey to follow as it explores another take on their reunion story. There's the expected angst and misunderstandings, but also wit and warmth and longing and rage and these casually devastating historical asides, some of which still haunt me out of the blue because of the staggering and inescapable nature of the passage of time. Speaking of passages and being haunted, dig if you will, this picture:

so little time to dwell amongst strangers as a citizen of the world will never, ever stop reverberating in my head like a cymbal crash and I guess that's just something I live with now. @lostakasha, you've given me the existentially beautiful prose version of tinnitus.

Maybe Stede's slut party era is finally upon us?

If so, good for him, he deserves it so much.

When the Light Shines In is a missing scene/lightly canon-divergent take on s1e06, if you just like the idea of meeting a jolly version of Drunk Stede (vs that "unhand me or bleed" guy, who is hot in his own way or course but can't beat messy earnest bossy Stede in my opinion). It's set immediately after the fight with Izzy. Ed is patching him up and trying not to vibrate out of his own skin, while Stede is affectionate and chatty and besotted whether he knows it or not, and steadily working his way through a bottle of rum for the pain. So not really related to season 2, but it will still scratch that same itch and make you smile real big.

Well, I Ain't Tactful is actually set during season 2, inspired by the moment in the BTS video where Ed sees Stede getting drunk with his new leather buddies. If you asked yourself what might happen if Ed felt compelled to keep an eye on Sloppy Stede and tuck him in with a glass of water, then this one will be fun. Ed is caring and lovely about it all even while still being a bit mad at him for everything, and Stede is a mess but so sweet and still so, so in love.

Maybe we'll get to see young Ed on Hornigold's ship?

There's no evidence of that so far beyond the whole ghost of Hornigold thing, but it certainly would be a treat. But even if it doesn't, if the idea of more young Ed appeals I cannot possibly recommend the pre-canon Never Shall We Die enough.

Now there's no getting around two crucial things that may be dealbreakers for some people: first, it's long. It's very, very long. Second: it's a WIP. Only one of two I've allowed myself to follow in this fandom so I don't get overwhelmed or bogged down. But!

The writing is so impeccable that it stands head and shoulders above almost everything I've ever read on ao3 and honestly above a lot of commercially published original fiction I've encountered in the same span of time since I've started it. The settings are deliciously (and sometimes, due to the realities of life on a pirate ship, disgustingly) immersive, the action scenes are perfectly paced, and the emotional beats, when they hit, hit hard and ring true and stay with you.

Starting at at age 13, young Ed's growth and development over time is equal parts rewarding and harrowing. Threads are pulled together from canon and from earlier parts of the story to coalesce into a portrait of a living, breathing version of our favorite guy trying to find his place in the world, stumbling along the way, and eventually realizing that if he wants a place he'll have to make it himself. The secondary characters leap off the proverbial page too, and the connections he does or doesn't form with them have interesting, believable fallout for everyone involved.

I mentioned action scenes earlier, but I want to circle back around to them again because NSWD takes Izzy's season 1 comment about Blackbeard being the greatest sailor he's ever known and says the same with its whole chest. I know I'm not alone in hoping to see Incredible Sailor Ed in season 2, but in the mean time this is more than scratching that itch for me. We see Ed set foot on his first ship with no skills beyond attracting (mostly) unwelcome attention and observational skills that become the foundation of his later abilities with the sea and with the art of fuckery. From the outside he looks like a savant but on the inside he builds his skills slowly over time, delighting in learning new things and seeing a plan come together. But best of all, he delights in the skills of others, eagerly learns from them when he can, happily teaches what he can to the few people he trusts, and takes pleasure and pride in their own success.

I could literally keep talking about this fic until the next chapter gets posted, but the good news is that happens regularly! I know it can be tough to trust a WIP but I for one am so thankful for the moment of poor impulse control that led to me starting this one. New chapters come roughly every two weeks, and looking at @tresdem's output elsewhere helps me feel secure that we'll actually get to the end.

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blazingblorbos · 11 days

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oh god. oh god. oh.. oh gosh. I didn't expect this so soon. I didn't expect this today, I've been busy with life related things so the HYV calendar is really unbeknownst to me, is this update really next week already?? where can I rant about this- whERe can I rant about this-

oh. I made a blog for that exact purpose ! OKAY—!

fuck. fuck me, dude holy-

FUCK.

the slightly worried look on Arle's face as Snezhevna is reaching out her hand, only for her face to seemingly revert back to cold and neutral once the camera actually focuses in on her. Her tone is cold but her words are reassuring,,,,,,,,

ALSO GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. HOW GENTLY SHE HOLDS HER HAND.

the d o o r. the DOOR. THE FUCKING DOOR, CHAT. the slow opening at first, and once you can make out that it's certainly Arle's silhouette she shoves it fully open - both doors, both hands. incredibly attractive—. the FEAR in that man's eyes.

The crossed hands. We can't see her face but you know what expression she's making (it's not really an expression. it's neutral but you can feel it). THE FUCKING F E A R ON THAT MAN'S FACE.

Oh- she literally just grabbed him by the throat. Just like that- ! There's the expression. Oh, you feel it, alright. If you go frame by frame, you'll notice her eyes narrow in the slightest right before ->

POV: you're getting chocked out by Arlecchino, and that's actually the least of your worries. (my god she is beautiful).

I did not expect him to simply be thrown down to the ground and I ... d i d not expect her to step on his FACE. [insert gay masochistic joke here. you know the one]. Did not expect her to smile (this is the ONLY scene wherein we see her smile even slightly... huh...) *And the reason I say "I did not expect her to smile", is because with the momentum we were getting I thought she was straight up going to crush his throat, or stab him (hand, weapon or otherwise). It looked like she was digging the forefoot of her shoe into the guys head and not the... .. y'know deadly fucking heel, so that.. confused me. (and the sound when she supposedly stomped his head in did NOT sound all that impactful) but ANYWAYS I digress-

I'm of course assuming more happened after the cut to black because . madam where did you get that bloodstain on you—

BLOODSTAIN ON HER FACE!?!?!? (more on this in a second)

Freminet??? Freminet feature ! (not Lyney or Lynette.. interesting). :(((( the poor boy sounds so,, desensitized. His father

holy shit quick intermission. After the mental chronological fuckfest that was "The Song Burning in the Embers" I don't think I can look at Arle and the HotH the same anymore because she's.. she's like not even 10 years older than them (?) it's insane this doesn't make any sense- ANYWAYS.

HIS FATHER comes back with what we later see to be real blood on her face. Tells him "I've acquired new funds". We know what that means... HE knows what that means!!, and the way WE - THE AUDIENCE - know that Freminet knows what it means is because the boy replies "Oh.. Okay.."

LIKE-! chat omg this is truly just routine for them,,,, Like out of the 3 siblings, Freminet always gave off the biggest child assassin vibe, but wow. To see that routine and desensitized nature of the HotH's line of work just,, splayed out in a Character Trailer is . wow. and the look in his eyes as he says it is- wow.

YEAH UHH BLOODSTAIN ON HER FACE??/ The lighting in this scene now is evidently less saturated. And it's just- oh my FUCKING GOD it does so many things:

the blood on Arle's face looks... dry. it doesn't look as fresh as you may expect which could mean many things. It could mean she spent,,, hella long in there with that guy doing what needed to be done. It could mean she took care to something else immediately after dealing with the guy (perhaps smth related to the children Snezhevna wanted to save). But regardless it means she didn't put in the effort to clean her face and hide what happened. OBVIOUSLY !!! that is so . obviously her style but to S E E IT IN MY GENSHIN IMPACT CHARACTER TRAILER it's- oh my god

it serves to highlight the really, truly, bleak nature of the scene now that we know plain and simple Arlecchino just killed a man. There's no subtext, there's no reading between the lines. The only thing that didn't happen is that we didn't see contact nor see a body. But, no sugarcoating, Arlecchino killed a man. No one is hiding it. You are not surprised. No one should be but damn.

and ofc it acts as a representation of Snezhevna dying...

because it seems like the saturation is back once the camera switches to looking at Snezhevna laying in bed.

And is it me, or does it look like Arle's allowing herself to actually display a tinge of worry in her expression this time? And also, EVER so slightly in her tone as well. You can feel it, it's gentler.

"Once I'm better I'll start my next mission.."

THIS. THIS!! IN SO MANY WAYS THIS!

OKAY. so bear with me. I haven't actually read any of the sibling's character stories yet, so there could be a LOT of info I'm missing but:

There's still a pretty thought-provoking conversation going on (in MY mind, at least) about just how intensely these children are being trailed to be soldiers for the Fatui. They're obviously in an environment that indoctrinates them into being soldiers of SOME kind, but I still don't know what kind of soldier that's supposed to be. Are they all ALWAYS extensions of the Fatui? Or are they more-so extensions of Arlecchino specifically..? Snezhevna was obviously trying to help those children she came across, and I'm assuming that happened on her latest mission, so was the mission for a charitable cause?? What was her next mission supposed to be?? Same line of work? Saving people? Or would it switch up and was she going to be sent to "take care of" (kill .) someone???

So I don't know whether to interpret that line as a hint of them being overworked and 1) feeling like they need to continue their work out of pure fear that they'll be deemed ineffective and useless... or 2) feeling like they need to continue their work out of a sense of loyalty and duty to the place that took them in and raised them. Or both..

and ofc the funeral scene. I can't say much more than what's already shown right on the screen.

and am I bugging? Or is the location of the grave....

#LONG post #first of all. I am kissing Genshin Impact's (HoYovere's entire) artstyle on the mouth.#second of all #Erin Yvette #oh my god Erin Yvette.#the 'My child...' line.. what if I literally blow up the world I'm going to explode #Arlecchino is drop dead gorgeous in this. That's a given but what kind of gay person would I be if I didn't say it anyway #it's always a given with their trailers. A l w a y s.#she's so drop dead handsome oh my god I fucking hate gender #blazingramble #holy shit new tag wtf #I try not to do these on here often but...#meh. my blog #I needed a place to write it down and I'm honestly getting self-conscious abt using my discord server #I say the kids at the HotH are desensitized 'cause like.. it's FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE that they DON'T know!!!!#they can ACT like they don't !!! sure! repression is very real and these kids are exposed to a LOT of trauma. Yes #but they are NOT FUCKING IGNORANT about it #the older ones at least; of course the younger they are the more likely they're sheltered from the Fatui's violent practices #like Lyney Lynette Freminet and other kids their age are child assassins. Now I'm PRETTY FUCKIN CONFIDENT they've killed people #like it wasn't hard to believe before but (and remember I haven't read their character stories) before it was mostly believable conjecture #I can't get over the scene where she returns to the bed #Arlecchino #genshin impact #genshin #genshin arlecchino #the knave #Genshin the knave #blazingshitpost genshin edition #blazingshitpost #Youtube

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hamarhemmo · 2 years

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Hello, I'd like to share some LGBTQ+ JoJo headcanons again.

This time the JoBros:

Robert Speedwagon: He is gay and this is a fact. He got kicked in the face and immediately fell in love. He literally devoted his whole life to Jonathan. I love him. Also I think in some translation/version Joseph comments something about his and Jonathan's suspicious relationship but I might just be imagining that.

Caesar Zeppeli: Just like Joseph, he is incredibly bisexual. Obviously likes women or at least enjoys flirting with them, but he very obviously has a crush on Joseph. This isn't even my Caejose propaganda, this is a fact. Also this is a stretch but Lisa Lisa said that he has commited "every crime short of murder". Do you know what was illegal in 1930s Italy? That's right: being queer. Case closed.

Noriaki Kakyoin: Not gonna lie dude, he got so little screentime that I actually have no idea. Like I don't know how you guys can make anything of his sexuality, he said almost nothing and interacted with almost no one.

Jean Pierre Polnareff: You know the phrase "He's bi but no one wants him"? That's Polnareff.

Okuyasu Nijimura: I feel like he's bi. Though that might just be Josuyasu brain speaking. Like he's a bit too close to Josuke for that to be entirely straight, but also if he is straight, I respect him for being so close with his friends.

Koichi Hirose: I think he's straight and trans (FtM). Like if he was attracted to men, there's no way that his relationship with Josuke and Okuyasu wouldn't be fruitier. He's the token straight friend. Also I'm definitely not projecting my transness into every short guy I see.

Guido Mista: He's definitely bisexual or pansexual. I actually have seriously no explanation, I can just tell from looking at him. I actually kind of feel like he wouldn't care about gender at all but he has way too strong bisexual vibes for me to call him anything else.

Bruno Bucciarati and Leone Abbacchio: I'm putting them together because they're a set in my mind. Like I just can't seperate them. Anyways they're both gay and that's a fact. I can't possibly imagine them dating anyone but each other.

Narancia Ghirga: He feels like a he/they to me. Maybe a cis dude who just uses those pronouns. I'm pretty sure he likes girls so maybe he's straight?

Ermes Costello: A lesbian. Or like lesbian who also like female aligned enbies, I don't know if there's a specific wird for that. I can totally see her dating Jolyne and F.F. so probably polyamorous too.

Foo Fighters: I feel like they're agender but also don't really care what people call them. They'd probably be fine with any pronouns. Also I feel like they're pan, like they're literally just some plankton in a human form, they probably don't even know what gender means. Probably also polyamorous for reasons mentioned previously.

Gyro Zeppeli: Continuing the Zeppeli tradition of being bisexual. I surprisingly don't have much to say about him despite him being like my favourite SBR character.

Yasuho Hirose: Again, I haven't read part 8 yet, but her outfit is in trans colours so you know what that means! She's trans and I don't take criticism.

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will80sbyers · 4 months

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I knew and didn't know at the same time, at first I didn't have the words to describe it and I thought everybody felt that way but then I started to receive the message - I don't know how or from where - that it wasn't something people were supposed to do or like, it was weird and I was already weird enough without adding that to the list, so I was straight because everybody was straight and I was supposed to like boys so I had to put away the extreme jealousy I felt for my first best friend because it was weird and I had to only look at boys... Then I started to learn that it was ok I guess? and "love is love" but being bisexual is just something that people that want attention do and it's mostly because they liked having sex(omg!) with a lot of people and they also only did that because guys found it sexy...! Well, it is but... Um, no, just for boys, I mean... Then growing up I luckily stumbled on feminism 101 and got a few of those bs ideas out of my mind but I had always been straight so there was no point in thinking about it anymore I had found a boy I liked a lot and oh yeah that's love and yeah I do like boys for sure. After the first heartbreak of my life here she comes, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen is in my school but the reason I go and introduce myself in a very extroverted way is not because I knew that I liked her but because "she had good vibes and I felt like I had to introduce myself" cut to a few years later and we are best friends now but I feel so weird around her all the time and I don't know why and sometimes I think I'm having gay thoughts but actually it's just that everybody has weird thoughts like that it's normal and we are both dating guys anyway...I'm not comfortable cuddling with girls because I don't like people touching me anyway unless we are dating that's the only reason... I'm not comfortable changing in front of girls or watching them change because I am not ok with how my body looks and it's just insecurities and wanting privacy.... That's it.

I'm not having weird thoughts when I look. Because sometimes I look.

Cut to the second heartbreak of my life and losing her because I was too depressed to reach out and I let the friendship slowly die and we didn't go to school together anymore and she was dating someone and I wasn't... I was still straight in my mind.

Then things get better and I meet the second boy that I've been in love with and make new friends and start so many tv shows and these shows are... Not straight, and then I join a fandom online and at the same time start meeting a bunch of queer people in my old university but I'm still " straight!!!!" so I feel out of place(I was in the closet and didn't want to think about being queer at all) and don't pursue those friendships and then I end up leaving because it's not the right university (no one will ever be) and then one year later I'm still in love with my boyfriend but I can't deny it anymore and now I'm feeling good about it actually, it's scary but I'm taking a bit of confidence in it and letting myself think and imagine a relationship with a woman and it's nice. I can see myself in it. I'm okay and I'm bisexual and I start telling my friends...

and here we are lots of years after the third heartbreak of my life I'm still bisexual... as I always was 💗💜💙

#bisexuality #Bi tag #Bisexual #The Bi experience lmao #why did I write down all this idk

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irrealisms · 3 months

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You dont have sex because you're waiting for marriage or because being gay is a sin?

man i dont remember posting anything abt not having sex/celibacy/being side b before this ask, idk what this was inspired by. it's probably bait (and, quite frankly, it's none of your business why i'm having or not having sex) which is why i waited almost a full week to answer but i'm going to answer it anyway (once) because i want to be open about this. if you or anyone else is interested in having a discussion on why i believe the things i do, send me a message or an ask off anon. i'm much more willing to be vulnerable in a setting that isn't "anon question that is probably bait".

as a clarification that will probably mean very little to my secular followers but will be appreciated by my side b followers (and hopefully at least mean something to my side a Christian followers): i reject this dichotomy. i'm celibate because i'm gay--but i don't think being gay is a sin. i am gay. i do not believe my existence is a sin. i believe that i've found many beautiful and true things from being gay, and that God made me gay for a reason. i am glad i'm gay, and i don't wish i were straight or pray to become straight. so, so much of side b advocacy within the Church is focused around making it clear that, while being gay comes with different temptations than being straight, it is not a sin to be gay. (note also: different temptations. not "being gay comes with temptations and being straight doesn't".) it would be a slap in the face to not start with that. i share a lot of thoughts on this with eve tushnet, who's also a side b Catholic lesbian; this post was incredibly meaningful to me on my journey, but check out her blog if you want more.

but also, yeah. i don't have sex because i converted to Catholicism with the intent of obeying the Church's doctrine. i note in my bio that i obey the doctrine of the Church. and, well, i can't get gay married as a Catholic, and i'm not supposed to have extramarital sex. so i don't i know that there are side a Catholics, many of whom i respect, but i'm not one of them. i don't believe in "ex-gay" therapy or "pray the gay away" and i don't think that being gay is inherently sinful, but (and here's the part that i assume you're reading for) i do believe that having gay sex is a sin. i follow the teachings laid out in the Catechism, to the best of my ability and understanding. that's in my about page. right now, for me, as a lesbian: that means celibacy. the Catechism is pretty clear on that, imo. i don't talk about this often because most of my friends (and, for that matter, tumblr followers) are queer non-Christians, many of whom have trauma around Christianity and Christian homophobia (which is, to be clear, very real, even if you agree that gay sex is a sin). but like... i'm just living my life. i go to Mass on Sundays and i fast during Lent (or get permission not to from the local priest, when my eating disorder makes it a health concern) because doing otherwise would be a sin; not having sex (or masturbating! which was/is tbh much harder for me to give up than partnered sex! but people ask a lot less about that, because it's less discourse bait and more clearly none of anyone else's business) is the same sort of thing, to me. was it hard (is it hard)? yes, sometimes. but God doesn't just ask me for sacrifices that are easy. maybe some day i'll change my mind again and become side a or deconvert altogether. maybe i'm wrong about things! but this is where i'm at right now.

for what it's worth, i'm happy. i don't hate myself. as mentioned earlier, i'm glad i'm gay and i don't want to be straight. my life is full of love--from friends, family, God. celibacy has had its downsides and painful moments for me, but it's also had its upsides and moments of joy. i've been able to deepen and prioritize and value my friendships. it's been valuable and beautiful and worth it. fundamentally: i believe what i believe, and i'm living true to that. if you want to unfollow me for this, go for it. if you want to filter it, my tag for religion + queerness + being side b is #too gay to live too trad to die.

#therapists dni #too gay to live too trad to die #catholic tag #follower purge time ig

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bitchkay · 1 year

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Court of darkness ships

Explained *biased and /hj*

Guy x Toa

Oh this just reeks of trauma and internalized homophobia you broken broken men!

Do you actually hate him or do you hate him because your attracted to him and you've been conditioned to think that's wrong and sinful and your channeling all that into anger toward the person your the person your attracted to and supposed to hate more than anybody and the "feuding families" provides you with an excuse.

Like babe closet is glass, its giving obsession, fan behavior, go be homoerotic somewhere else😐

Mfs glare at each other so often you think they're staring into each other's eyes

Mfs are about to kiss💀💀

Spouting insults at eachother at any chance they get

Gay as hell to have an arch nemesis, tf he arching? His back?

"I can't stand the sight of you" "I hate the sight of you more" like bruh might as well be a declaration of love💀

Guy x Fenn

This fanfic.

If you tell me these two haven't had sexual intercourse you're lying.

They've literally kissed before

IN CANON‼

MULTIPLE TIMES‼‼

Guy lets that man get away with a little too much with him if you get what I mean🤨🤨

Guy x Jasper

What straight man acts like thatt!!

Again the closet is glass

You don't have to act like you not boyfriends we already know, you straight up be flirting in front of everyone anyway

Nah cus why they act like a married couple in their honeymoon phase💀💀

The other princes have a valet, Guy gets a life partner💀

These two act like they're in a polyamorous relationship with MC no matter which one MC is specifically dating

No way these two haven't kissed

They walk into a room together and the air gets a little fruitier

Hold on-

🤨🏳️‍🌈⁉️

Guy x Roy

It's giving "I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me"

Roy literally gets jealous when other people have Guys attention

Roy's lil boy crush on Guy is sometimes a little embarrassing like bro is whipped💀💀

Like bro is so in love with him💀💀

Guy x Lynt

Guy secretly likes being cuddled.

This pairing is proof nobody can say no to Lynt

"Let go of me, I'm not your pillow." *dosen't struggle* *makes no effort to move* *ends up either napping with him or staying there the whole time for Lynts comfort*

Lynt likes Guys smell and Guy simply does nothing about it

I bet Lynt can tell when Guy uses a new body wash

Toa x Lynt

I've learned the ship name for this qelkedia and I love it

this fic.

Nah but for real tho these two are actually besties like

Lynt was the first person to give Toa a candy when they were children, if that doesn't sound like the beginning of a budding romance idk what is🙄🙄

Like imagine it, Toa(🏳️‍🌈 in denial) crushing on Lynt this cuddly cute bean and every time he does Toas having a major internal gay panic cus "I swear I don't like men, this is just normal Lynt behavior"

The internalized homophobia is hitting😳

Lynt x Roy

Imagine Lynts consort path right

Except Lynt and Roy fall in love instead.

That's all I have to say about that.

Roy also takes care of Lynt😭😭

Who else would be fully willing to CARRY Lynt to their S rank lectures because he wants him to go to class for once and its apparently common😭😭

"Will you carry me?" "If I must"

That's his boyfriend yall.

Violet x Jasper

Tell me they're not exes. I dare you

They used to date and Jasper did something (cus let's be honest why wouldn't it be Jaspers fault) and that's why Violet doesn't trust him

"Be wary of Jasper, he is a bad bad man" "to what do I owe such slanderous claims😊" "YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHY"

"While I have you here, would you join me in town for a drink?" "Would you happen to be inviting me out on a date?" "Maybe I am😏" "THERE YOU GO AGAIN, FLIRTING WITH ANYTHING THAT WALKS" "you wound me, not just anyone meets my standards😏" "... do you enjoy lying Jasper?"

Tension so thick you can cut it with a knife.

Violet does however trust him and respect him as a valet but she will drag his name through the dirt if she can help it

Half the time she wont even say his name outright💀 it's always some iteration with spectacles💀💀

Idk for some reason I can see them having a reconciliation like say Jaspers in the valets quarters and Violet comes in but like is trying to avoid him but ultimately fails and then they're left alone in the valets quarters and idk have a heart to heart or some shit

Violet x Grayson

Tell me they wouldn't be drinking buddies at some point

So many times over in events and consort routes has Violet gotten drunk after being dumped by a man

Like if she was just broken up with best believe she'll pick up a bottle, and look Gray can't hold his liquor for the life of him

What ever happens happens I rest my case.

Like Grayson would obviously refuse a drink knowing he can't control himself when hes intoxicated but Violet, probably way deep in her cups by now and really emotional dosen't wanna drink alone and probably doesn't wanna be alone in general since she just got dumped so Gray gives in promising to pace himself which doesn't work cus Grayson guzzles liquor down like juice like he doesn't know he a fucking lightweight

Again whatever happens happens, let them decide how they feel about it once they're sober

Violet x Tino

These two are besties yall

Violet complains about men meanwhile the perfect man is right there🙄

Tino has nursed her back to health when drunk after being dumped multiple occasions carrying her to bed making sure shes safe(canon)

Stop looking for love and let love find you baby girl😩😩

Like I can imagine Tino carrying an almost black out drunk Violet to her room cus another man decided to be fucking BLIND and like Tino leaving a glass of water at her bedside and Violet deciding to be clingy is like whoa Tino don't go😣😣 and Tinos like 😐girl go to bed😐/j but Violet just wants someone to hold if only for the time being. And Tino, sweet sweet hearted Tino is weak to the asks of some who truely seems vulnerable and needs a bit of comforting, stay with her until she falls asleep♡

Violet x Hawk

Idk where this one came from but I like it!

Violet x Zev

Yall remember when Zev was flirting with Violet in the princes path

Tell me they don't have history right now

*Violet turning down his date invitation*

Zev: MMM! I love it when you ignore me!😫

They went on like 2-3 dates, the issue lies where Violet is actually looking for a partner while Zev is just casually dating

Violet x Mc

These bitches gay.

Nothing about this is heterosexual.

Nah cus why both of them have admitted they wouldn't mind getting with the other

That's so gay.

Dia x Fenn

... you just had to be there

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Dia x Sherry

I know what yall thinking

What?

But have yall seen they're interactions in the short stories😭😭

In Dias path itself Sherry says to mc that it would be nice to know Dia as well as her like😖 baby

In the short stories it mostly them bumping into eachother and Sherry's like wow your so pretty and you should smile more

One in particular where they run into eachother and Dias trying to get away from her(like he does with every one) and he smiles politely and says he has somewhere to go and Sherry's like wow you have such a beautiful smile, you should smile more and Dias like "...thanks😳" and blushes and at the compliment then Sherry's like gimme one more big smile and he does smile, hes like 😊 and shes like I hope you have cause to smile more often, smiles make for more harmonious communications♡

That's so cute yall

In another story they wanna borrow the same book from the library but Dias like you can have it let's her have the book but the Sherry's like we should read it together😄💖

Like?????????

Is this a slow burn romance or something😳😳

No but fr Dia acts annoyed but hes actually so nice to her😭

Rio x Sherry

Not my personal feat, I prefer them as friends

But they cute asf

I love a good friends to lovers moment

Especially knowing they're known each other since they were children

Childhood friends to lovers😋😋

Also the height difference is so cute

Rio is 6'2-6'3 and Sherry's literally 5 feet tall💀

Shorty has to crain her neck to look up at him and Rios like *lifts her up by the armpits* there😄

Roy lowkey ships them but the big brother in him is like nah

It's not that he doesn't think Rio is a good guy it's just that that's his baby sister!!

The day Sherry gets a paramour is the day Roy dies a little inside.

Addis Ira x Gilbert Qelsum

These is literally the most hateful mfs.

Traumatized their children and are shitty people in general

Why are they the only kings that mutually like each others

Gilbert trusts Addis

Hes the only one of the kings that he does trust btw

And Addis dotes on Gilbert

Why are you doting on him-- are yall in a relationship🤨⁉️

Nah cus why all the other kings is like if one trusts another, the other is scared of them or one likes and the other thinks they irritating or they both just hate eachother

I bet they bond over disliking Roc Avari--

I'm stuck on Addis Ira doting on Gilbert

How you doting on a grown ass man but not yo child--

Sus🤨

Moral of the story, Guy is fruity as fuck, gayest bitch in the building, Violet got hella rizz😩 and Toa and Lance are step siblings--

#court of darkness #toa qelsum #fenn luxure #guy avari #lynt akedia #roy invidia #dia akedia #tino maes #valentino maes #violet muller #grayson hotz #jasper lane #professor hawk #zev avari #voltage inc #court of darkness headcanons #rio voleri #sherry invidia #court of darkness mc

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andguesswhat · 7 months

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Tagged by @whole-other-layer

Last song: Stromae - L'enfer

Favorite color: Petrol or Yves Klein blue

Currently watching: This is going to hurt (so good, with Ben Wishaw and the portrayal of queer I'm looking for)

Sweet/spicy/savoury: yeah, just that: sweet/spicy/savoury, like the fireworks in Remy's head when he eats cheese WITH strawberry.

Relationship status: none of your fucking business

Current obsession: the guys in my head who do things and the question why you do things you know aren't good for you and you do them anyway.

Last thing you googled: soft launch boyfriend (lol).

Tagging... oh, I don't know, how about @stmonkeys @lo20 @laurenjane1990 and @timmysneck ?

Thanks for tagging me @whole-other-layer

But I have to ask! Your addition "even though they appear to be a hardcore charmie"? What does that mean? That you don't like hardcore charmies? In any case, I have to admit I’m not overly fond of being called hardcore (maybe cor cordium fits better 😉). Hardcore sounds to me like someone who needs to be right, and I don’t need that. I don't NEED them to be together, I don't care who they go to bed with, I don't need (more) proof. I don't HOPE they are together, I just hope that they HAVE each other when times are difficult for them. I don't KNOW if I'm right, but after everything I've read and seen about gays in Hollywood (Leo!) or in the music industry (Harry!) or in soccer (Ronaldo!), after all the tons of quotes we've gotten from people in Hollywood saying that "Hollywood treats gays poorly" (Udo Kier) to "You're a slave to Warner Bros, they can do whatever they want" (Burton), after all the PR machinery that all my mutual friends so skilfully expose on a daily basis, in the end, unfortunately, Timmy looks to me like a reflection of just that. Because they do exit in Hollywood, queer actors.

And boy, these days I wish he was straight as fuck so I wouldn't have to worry about him, but with all the clowning going on around him, I just don't see it.

So him spending his life with Armie is just the most likely and plausible thing TO ME from everything I've seen. Everything else is always LESS plausible to me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

And if it IS true, then they would have an incomparably beautiful love story that is incomparably tragic just because they're queer, and I want to support them with all my queer heart and desire for equal rights.

They don't have to be together for the rest of their lives and now, after all these years of heart eyes, they might just be another boring couple like any other. But if they had the chance to show themselves without regrets, if they didn't have to do this shit anymore, I can't wait for them to smile and feel free and have their second spring, and after everything they've been through, I think they fucking well deserve it.

That doesn't mean I agree with what Timmy is doing at the moment, and I thank you for your input because I have something to say to him about it as well to make my point. But to that later 😉

And if this isn't clear from what I wrote: I’m fully ok with people don’t believing in them.

Sorry for this answer you didn't ask for, but no one has ever told me I'm hardcore 🙃 PS: I love Tori Amos too ☺️

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ddrqoyote · 3 months

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A Big Fat 🇺🇸🎆🍔-Centric Identity/Heritage Vent

i'm so fucking sick of hearing "if white culture makes you feel empty, identify as what your family was before they assimilated into the social construct" I CAN'T DO THAT THEY'RE ALL ENGLISH.

i don't know where everyone is pulling these 20th century immigrants from but for me everyone going back at least 5 generations was already in the US and assimilated. i have scottish heritage somewhere based on my name but fuck if i know where. my grandma's been maintaining her ancestry.com account for years. it's not in there, which means i probably can't ever find out.

i don't even feel connected to english people. i barely know anything about pre-US english history and most of what i do know is king arthur, the worst kind of christianity, and poverty. there's an english historian in my family, so that's a bad sign.

and apparently everything decent about this country's culture was made or brought in by other people and everything my people made is tainted somehow. the good things always turn out to be exaggerations or just lies. i know that sounds excessive but i just found out dunk tanks were originally racist. fucking DUNK TANKS. even the littlest things. power and business are nice to have but they don't make much of a culture.

my heritage seems to be "cheat and kill better than anyone else, take credit for all our lucky breaks, tell everyone we were pacifist heroes later and if anyone tells the truth, make them shut up". and if i choose not to embrace that i have no heritage at all.

and again, english, so i can't pull some "nope, not me actually" card and hop over to a culture i like better than "generic white". i know that's insulting but it reminds me of when i was in high school and i was mad at myself for being straight and "part of the problem". it turned out i was queer so it wasn't my problem anymore, but i never actually solved my issues with it, i just found an escape hatch.

also i'm jealous and salty. the rest of yall (another word i thought was ours but isn't), even if you can never get back what you lost, at least you know there WAS something. it's a tragedy but it's not your people's fault. for me... was there ever anything of substance at all?

oh yeah. i'm queer so most of my ancestors would probably hate me anyway, or have values i think are disgusting. joy.

"why not queer english then?" besides the fact a lot of them haven't treated me right? because honestly, when i hear about our history from just 40 years ago i feel like it was a completely different world. i don't feel continuity from stonewall or the aids crisis to my own life. even today, i see some homeless gay teen whose parents kicked them out and i'm furious for them as a human being, but i'm not their people and i know they wouldn't think a middle-class CPA hopeful with supportive parents was theirs either. we've had completely different lives.

and frankly, thinking about our recent past and the injustice of it all makes me want to projectile vomit.

i've tried talking this stuff out with my friends but... my girlfriend has a god complex (/gen /pos) and doesn't understand why i need a heritage, or any culture larger than a friend group. my next-closest political friend is both european and kinda using communism as a replacement for heritage, and everyone else i'm either not close enough to talk about this or they don't care about this stuff.

(also, and this is a genuine question so please reblog and explain if i'm wrong, why is, say, blackness more real than whiteness? they were both manufactured at similar times by english people, a bunch of groups lumped together regardless of heritage, but i consistently hear people say one is real and the other is not.

i know most black people can't find out their original ancestries anymore but identifying as black is clearly more than "the only available option" for people. it feels like the unspoken answer is "ours is good and yours is evil" but of course no one wants to say they think that way out loud.)

the point is. i feel like i've been in a culture of one my whole life. i'm not proud of my heritage and without it i feel a gaping emptiness without roots and a pinch of essentialism to tell me what to be. no, i shouldn't, my girlfriend never stops telling me BUT I DO.

does anyone else have this problem.

#whiteness #these notes are either gonna be empty or hell there's no in-between #vent #identity #ethnicity #rant post

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boxwinebaddie · 4 months

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hi hi hi hi hihihi hi! SO.. happy early birthday/birthday (whatever time it is whever u read this idk, maybe then it's happy late birthday, haha!) uncle ninaaaa!! (this may get ramble-y but i think we both know u can't talk on that subject ;3)

eheeemmmmm, i'd just like to say (and i've said this before in an ask i believe) ur my writing IDOOOLLLLLLL like the only thing that keeps me kinda still writing my stupid lil SoT fic (aside from just overanalyzing , overplaying, and lore building the shit out of that game, even Timmy has lore) is just seeing how u are still truckin even w/ all the issues u've had along the way. (it rlly is inspiring)

Personally, i'm still in grade school and one thing that keeps me like going through THAT is kickin my feet n going "ooooh do u think rm/pep has updated yet" and my friend is just like "wtf r u on abt" and i just have to blabber on abt how good a certain boxwinebaddie's fics r until i realize ppl are looking at me funny so then i go back to trying to comprehend ANYTHING in algebra in my corner quietly. (also how do u get through that that shit is like WHATTTTT) anyway tho, happy b-gay belle from beauty and the beast (but gayer) i wish u the best of timesssss!! :33

hello, sweetness!!!!!!! <33333

as we speak i have just read your message and am responding to you in my silly little birthday princess dress with the big, billowy sleeves, my tacky dollar store light up tiara and am swiggin some uncle nina staple box wine around in my favorite vintage, hand-painted 'happy 50th bday' wine glass ( i collect them c: ), smiling so stanley randall william marsh wide that my unsightly human face can barely contain it, like my heart, with all the luv it has for u ( and all of you xx mwahh )

but, yes! thank you so much, my darling! <333 i love that even on my birthday, i cannot beat the deranged verbose girlie allegations lmao!!

ALSO PLEASE!!!! I AM NO IDOL, GLIMMER!!!! i am but a false prophet in false eyelashes!!! the devil ( me ) wears frauda, i'm afraid! the devil wears something that i found for $5 at the thrift store, tbfh! i swear i'm just a little cringe fail writer gal hiding behind a computer and some very big words! honest! but regardless of how unfit i feel for idoltry, it means a lot of me to know that you feel that way. :3

i know i write fanfiction, emphasis on fiction, but in my messages and interactions with all of you, it feels important for me to come across to all of you as real and warm. vulnerable and genuine. :)

because as embarrassing as it can be to come clean about things i'm struggling with, it also feels important to me to model mistake making and risk-taking as an author/adult person in order to show all of you who read my asks/updates that it is OK to be sad, mad or glad and that writing isn't always easy! or that life isn't always easy, but if i can do it, YOU can do it, dearest! i walked straight into the wall so you could walk right through that hole i made, haha. Standing Tall.

also, can i just say its so COOL that you're writing an SOT fic!!!! like AAAAA!!! that is the one south park segment i have actually not explored very much of because of exactly what you said abt the lore. like, we have seen how drawn out i make my south park universes, i would go criminally insane trying to make a fuckin game of thrones skyrim lotr level high fantasy south park universe...you are so much stronger than me!!!! i do kind of...have a rough sot concept i thought about running by you all. but idk, its very half-baked. i'm sure yours is delicious tho!!! do share if you ever feel inclined! i'd love to hear abt it.

but :'}}}}}...if you could see the face i'm making rn ;-;;; <3 you are so sweet and honestly, you are MY idol! i also started writing in grade school, but my GOD, i was illiterate!!!!! you are so powerful, petal. you've said that i inspire you, but your passion and drive inspires me. you have more power in your pinky finger than i have in my whole body, i can assure you. and i can't wait to see how that manifests. :)

ALSO SLKHDLSDKDS!!! i think it's so cute when you guys talk about my fanfics in your daily lives!!! that is so special and near and dear to me!!!! i'm glad they make you that happy. i'm sorry for confusing your friends, and as a hopeful future educator, i apologize because saying the words boxwinebaddie in a grade school setting is probably not...ideal. rip. lo siento, sweetie. annnnnd lo siento x2 that i haven't updated in ages, but as we discussed, writing can be tricky sometimes. and its important to go at your own pace. its not a race.

side note about algebra: EW. ashdlksahd. i am the least excited to teach math truly. and i wish i could help you but, unfortunately, i failed math for liberal arts majors....THREE TIMES!!!! THREE!!!! i am like 90% sure they only passed me because i literally got out of the psychiatric hospital and my teacher felt sorry for me. but...slay? rip.

AAAAAA OKAY BEFORE I GO!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I CANT BELIEVE U GUYS THINK I LOOK LIKE BELLE FROM BEAUTY AND THE BEAST THATS SO STINKING CUTE!!! thank you for blessing my inbox, earth angel! and i hope you ALSO have a good day that is as lovely and sweet as this message was.

-uncle nina, belle from beauty and the beast but much gayer <3

#this made me tear up fr #u are so talented and lovely #literally YOU are my idol you are so cool for writing an sot fic #and just writing in general like that is not easy friend!#im glad i mean a lot to you you mean a lot to me #this message made me feel very warm and fuzzy #thank you for ur bday wishes and visit my ask box anytime darling

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voidstilesplease · 2 years

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Patrivan Drives Me Nuts, And Here's Why: Part 7

S5E5: Please, Tell The Truth [prev, first]

->Because Ivan TELLS THE TRUTH For Once

This is where Ivan acknowledges his repressed feelings for the first time, and boy is it thrilling as it is frustrating.

Let's go back a little:

At the beginning of the episode, we got blessed with this tender moment between our boys that I discussed about in part 6, where they talked about feelings, personal issues, what they're looking for in a relationship... just being bros with a serious emotional connection, you know?

By the way, y'all should listen to The King by Conan Gray. I think the lyrics of that song are so on point. Like:

"Crush always making me feel like I got nothing to offer. But I'm the only one that can make you feel right. // And you can't explain why I'm always running your mind. Don't you see the answer is right in front your eyes?"

Well, however intimate it may have seemed, I was still helpless to think that maybe it really wasn't going to happen and they were sticking to being just "friends" - in this season, at least. Especially because for a hot minute, it looked like it was heading southward. To hell where it isn't ideal, but not as awful as I thought, too. I know it's an unpopular opinion but if you're interested and haven't read it yet, I talked about why I'm not disgustingly enraged if they went the Cruz/Patrick route in this little interlude post right here.

Anyway, so after all that, and Cruz's "please come to my room tonight", there's me who's totally blindsided by what comes next. What comes next isn't Cruz and Patrick getting it on a few doors from Ivan's room like I expected, like they were implying would happen. But what comes next is a surprising turn of events.

A question, if you please: do guys really masturbate together and can still claim No Homo? Does it really happen irl? If someone can answer that because I am honestly baffled.

But in relation to our boys, Ivan, at least, doesn't deny that it's not the straight porn playing on his TV that's turning him on but the fact that he's watching it specifically with Patrick.

Why does he put on porn for their movie night in the first place?

Well, Ivan says it himself: "I was feeling it." He was feeling like watching straight porn because his gay friend is sleeping over and they're in their underwear. It sounds kinda douche-y, really, so in-your-face. Like saying: 'See? I'm into girls. I'm into p*ssy.' But I don't think it was Ivan's intention to offend Patrick, at all.

I think what happened is: Ivan is actually more affected by their conversation earlier on the lawn than he's letting on. I don't know, but something has definitely shifted during that scene. I always say it's the way they look at each other even on the earliest episodes, but it starts to really get more obvious during this scene. I mean, look:

So, furthermore, I think what happened is: finally getting more conscious of his feelings, Ivan gets hot and bothered by Patrick's presence and the idea that he's going to sleep on a bed with him half-naked for the first time after realizing the extent of his attraction for the guy. The last time we see it happen, them on Ivan's bed together, they were drunk and Ivan was adamantly "not gay".

But tonight, he's completely sober and still fucking turned on by Patrick. And he can't hide or keep it to himself. Why bother? So he puts on the only kind of porn he's watched in his life, throws pretensions out the window, and sees where it goes.

And it... goes. Boy, it goes. Ivan finally becomes honest with his feelings and it's glorious. The attraction is finally mutual. Even though it lasts all of two minutes.

Because when it looks like it's taking off to new heights, Ivan pulls the brakes at the last few inches.

And, honestly, he leaves not only Patrick sexually frustrated by this. 😒 I'm sure. I would know.

I can't really be mad at anyone, though. I understand both their sides. Patrick is upset because he thinks Ivan is back to playing him, jerking him around, right when he's ready to give it up, Ivan gives him something to cling to but cuts the thread again without warning. And Ivan, after stepping past the threshold of confusion, is now trying to pass through his fears and prejudices, in order to reach Patrick.

And I imagine it can't be easy. Everyone has different ways of accepting the latent sides of their sexuality that's only recently manifesting. And after living and being familiar of the "macho" world that his dad revolves in, and the homophobia that goes around it, it's not surprising that he's hesitant to just go for it. Go after what he wants.

But we'll still give credit where it's due. Ivan's honesty in this scene is commendable. So episode 5: "Please, Tell The Truth", I'd say, is very appropriately titled.

And the sweetest thing about it is it's only getting started! Something even better is coming next. 😏

#patrivan #elite #elite s5 #patrick blanco #ivan carvalho #ivantrick #manuriosmademedoit

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