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#I wish you all the best on whatever you end up doing
vesppperoro · 3 days
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hii uhh, i had a little idea that id like to share if thats ok, it might be quite triggering tho so be warned ‼️
a sinner demon reader thats based on a teddy bear, because theyre too soft and mushy personality-wise, and they ended up in hell due to being suicidal. like their whole body is covered in stitches thats supposed to be a metaphor for sh scars
do whatever u want with that info, u can even ignore it if u like, have a nice day ❤️
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Hazbin Hotel Cast with a Teddy Bear!Sinner Reader
Includes: Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty, Sir. Pentious, Cherri Bomb, Alastor.
A/N: this is such an interesting idea! I’m going based on my own experiences as someone like this, along with research. I appreciate you for trusting me with this <3 I definitely WILL make a p2!! Might write for this sinner more tbh I loved writing them!! I thought you meant a child and I wrote that I’m so sorry 😭
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Charlie Morningstar
She truly didn’t understand why you were in hell.
You are such a sweetheart! She adores you.
When you showed up to the hotel one day, without clothes and covered in stitches, she was immediately worried.
She took you in and washed you up as best as she could.
You were like a child! Why were you even here?
She was happy that you wanted to be redeemed, however.
She became a mother figure to you.
You go to her when you’re sad and you hug her frequently.
She traces your scars sometimes and you two share a silent moment together.
A silent moment of understanding.
She loves picking you up and holding you!
She hugs you like you’re an actual teddy bear.
She’s the one you go to for emotional things.
She’s good at comforting you. She somehow knows what you wanna hear at all times.
Vaggie
She became a secondary mother figure to you.
She was Charlie’s girlfriend, so of course she was.
She understood your situation and was pissed heaven casted a sweetie like you because of your lowest point.
She’s the more levelheaded one.
She’s the one who gives you advice and stuff like that. While Charlie is the more emotionally supportive one, Vaggie is the more mature and steady one.
She also traces your scars. Even if you don’t like them, she tells you you’re beautiful no matter what.
When you told her more of your story, she almost cried.
A child feeling this way broke her to pieces. Especially since you were so soft.
Other than the sad stuff, she loves cuddling you.
You, her, and Charlie sometimes have cuddle sessions with you in the middle because you’re so warm + soft + squishy.
She would kill anyone for you. You’re just so adorable!
She tries to teach you to fight but gives up when you don’t want to hurt anyone.
Angel Dust
Honestly, he saw himself in you.
A lost, scared, and lonely child. You didn’t know the cruelties of the world, aside from those cruelties in your mind.
He tries his best to comfort you. He’s not the best with words, but he’s always there for you.
He calls you sugar bear! He loves you to death.
He would go to the ends of hell for you.
He treats you like he wished to be when he was the same way.
You two share a lot of similarities, so you bond well.
He nearly cried when you told him your stitches were scars from sh.
He embraces you any time he can.
He tries to be the parental figure he needed so you can have a better life, somewhere no one would judge you.
Husk
He’s stubborn, like a dad. He acts like one too.
A hardheaded, yet sweet dad.
He’s like the father you never had. Or did have. Whichever.
He’s the bartender, so he knew how to comfort.
But when you told him your story, he almost broke.
You two definitely sing some sort of song together. Maybe Angel or Vaggie joins.
He cuddles you and hides you with his wings.
If you give him baby doe eyes, he might just take you on a flight.
Husk is SUPER protective over you. He’s very similar to Vaggie in a way when it comes to protection.
He gives you good advice but he still hides behind his tough guy exterior.
He doesn’t understand why you’re down here, even if you tell him. You’re so sweet!
Either way, he adores you.
He loves patting your head and messing with your fuzzy ears.
Might even boop your nose once or twice.
Late night talks.
He probably talked you down from trying to commit again.
Niffty
Another tiny person! Yay!
You’re not a bad boy. She may be a psycho, but she would never call you bad.
Actually, she did once and felt bad once you cried.
She likes to hang out with you since you’re both tiny!
She cuddles and hugs you like you’re her stuffed animal.
Bug killers! Even if you don’t wanna kill bugs, she’s dragging you along anyways.
She tries to hide her needle from you since Husk told her what your stitches meant.
Alastor has to babysit both of you basically.
You and her do almost everything together! You’re best friends!
She sneaks into the kitchen and grabs you both snacks so you can watch a movie.
She makes you sleep in her bed sometimes so she can cuddle you.
Sir. Pentious
He’s a dad. Or, he was.
He treats you like he wishes he treated his son before he passed.
He acts like your father. An awkward father, but he still tries.
He also protects you.
Expect him to curl his tail around you and cuddle you when you’re sad.
He literally cried when you told him your story.
He tells you anytime he can that it’s not your fault. Your stitches are still beautiful.
Best girl dad ever.
Buys you anything he wants, even if he’s broke. (Except sharp things)
He teaches you some things about inventing!
You made him a little metal flower and he was so overjoyed. He took it with him everywhere.
He still remembers you, even if he’s in Heaven now.
Cherri Bomb
Chaotic auntie energy.
She would do ANYTHING for you.
She picks you up and places you on her hip like a baby.
She loves your ears! She also adores how sweet you are.
She wouldn’t admit it, but you’re the cutest thing she’s ever seen.
Even if you tell her your story, she wouldn’t see you differently. You’re a child, a child who went through so much.
Hangouts with her and Angel are a MUST.
They try to avoid doing the normal around you and focus on fun time.
She took you with her when she had a territorial fight one time and you almost cried.
She felt so bad that she bought you anything you wanted for a week.
She did anything you wanted to do, even if Husk or someone else said no to you.
Basically, if you wanted something, you went to her.
Alastor
He’s not one to like kids, really.
He was, however, kinder to you.
He did anything to protect you.
He was like your insane uncle.
He was the one who taught you how to use your abilities. Maybe to help you, or to manipulate you when you grow.
He made you jambalaya once and it became your favorite dish to share with him!
He introduced you to radio and he was happy that you loved it.
He started bringing you to his studio whenever he did a radio show.
He took you to an overlord meeting once. That’s how you met Rosie.
He pats your head like a dog lol.
Don’t expect him to be emotionally available. But he will be there to have fun sometimes.
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the-fiction-witch · 3 days
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Little Dove
Media - House Of The Dragon Character - Aegon Targaryen Couple - Aegon X Reader Reader - Y/n Targaryen (Sister of Ageon, Helena & Aemond) Rating - Flirty Word Count - 1495
Warning - Mentions of Abuse and SA
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Aegon had been drinking so much that it seemed like a bright idea to take his little sister, who had rarely left the Red Keep before, for a stroll down the street of silk. The street was busy with people going about their business many not even looking twice to see the prince as him coming around was a fairly common occurrence, "So little dove finally left the nest. Thanks to the better brother. I'm talking of course about myself." he slurried a foul smell of alcohol wafting off of Aegon. Drunk men were everywhere, so Aegon's demeanour didn't attract much attention, 
Y/n chuckled as she walked the street of silk with her eldest brother, she wore a beautiful black and green gown as she held his arm partly guiding his drunk steps down the cobbles, she was very used to having to go out and fetch her older brother from whatever pit of sin he ended up in, "Aegon what are you talking about?" 
Aegon stumbled, "Isn't it obvious? I deserve you much more than Aemond does. I am the heir to the throne. He is just a second son. A spare." he grumbled, "I can be so much kinder to you than Aemond ever could."
"I do not doubt you would be kinder Aegon. But it's been agreed since the moment I was born, you are the heir to be king when father passes, you married haelena the first daughter. Then Aemond and I are to marry as the second son and second daughter, the two spares it is simply the way of it. Father and mother agreed,"
"But I could be much greater to you, little dove." Aegon leaned in closer, brushing his cheek against her. "Married or not, I can make you so much happier than Aemond can." Aegon grinned playfully, "You would be happier with me. I would make you so much happier than anyone ever could."
"I do not doubt you would, but there are things we cannot change, besides don't you love your wife and children?"
Aegon sighed and looked down at the cobbles. "You know mother forced me to marry her. And my children are a chore, you are the only one I care about."
"Aegon, that's very sweet and yes I do wish things had been different but these are the cards that have even dealt. We must learn to make the most of it. You know I will always be nearby, you and aemond are brothers you cannot allow this to come between you"
Aegon's expression sobered up a little. "You are right... you are right, little dove. I know. I know we have to play our cards right. I just... I wish things were different. That we had a chance to be together. But you're right that nothing can change the way it is. But I will always protect you, little dove. No one can harm you, no ever shall. Not as long as I breathe."
"thank you big brother" she cooed kissing his cheek
Aegon leaned his head against her. He was more affectionate to her than he had been to his wife at her best, or to anyone at their best really. Aegon seemed pleased to hear her call him 'big brother'. He was fond of that title. "So, little dove. Are you excited to be married?"
"... Honestly?"
"Of course, Are you not excited to be married?" Aegon frowned a bit, then he looked back at you, his expression solemn. 
"Not really..."
Aegon stopped walking and looked at her. He squinted his eyes, and his lips curled into a frown. Aegon tilted his head and placed a hand on her shoulder. "What is wrong, little dove? What are you not saying?" His tone was concerned and gentle.
"... aemond frightens me sometimes. He says thinks, does things, they frighten me that's all, but in sure I'll grow accustomed once we're married"
Those words shook Aegon to his bone. "Does he... hurt you?" His eyes widened. "Has he hurt you since the betrothal? Or done anything to scare you?"
"no he hasn't... Hurt me exactly he just scares me, he often tells me of frightening tales, of fights that end in bloodshed, makes me watch him in the practice yard against the poor squire boys, often threatens to take me riding on vahgar with him." She explained, "the other night he... I shouldn't speak I'll of him,"
Aegon's expression hardened. He hated it when his little sister was treated in such a way that she was frightened by anyone. Aemond did nothing to ease Y/n's fears, only made them grow worse. Aegon felt protective of her. "No, little dove, you must. What did he do that night?"
"he wanted a kiss before he left my chamber, I was feeling tired so I politely declined said I'd give him two kisses the next day but he got angry with me tried to pin me on the bed and take the kisses I owed him when I pushed him away he forced me against the wall and took far more then kisses as a punishment he said"
And he was furious. "He did what? Did he... take... take liberties with you?"
she nodded sheepishly 
"I want to know one thing and one thing only, little dove. Do you want to marry this man? This creature that calls himself our brother?"
"I do not... But father insists mother says it is no matter what he had done as my flower was long plucked anyway"
"I don't care what father says. I don't care what mother says." He paused again, and when he continued his voice was as cold as ice. "And I don't care what he says. I will not allow this. I cannot allow for you to be married to a man who you do not want. You are not his flower who has been plucked already. You are our family, and you will not marry a man who has used you."
"but if we are to follow the rule that no man who has used me can marry me... That would also mean you couldn't marry me" she giggled hugging his arm,
there was a slight smirk on his lips. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, "Oh, and why is that, little dove? Have I taken liberties with you that I don't know about?"
"It's strange... What you boys do and don't remember, do you really not recall what you use to do to me Aegon while we snuck around the red keep, when we made little blanket forts, when we used to... Kiss and touch in what's children should not" she reminds,
Aegon felt a weird sense of pride. Of course, he did remember those evenings. How could he not? It had been one of the most pleasurable memories of his life. “You are right, little dove."
"you hang your head as if in shame of those days? Do you regret our nights snuck away in blanket forts Aegon?"
"I certainly do not regret them, little dove. But... I suppose I am ashamed of what happened, or at least how wrong they are." He paused again, shaking his head. "I suppose I had forgotten that you looked fondly on those days. I had always thought they were a shameful memory for both of us."
"I recall no shame from that time. I was happy as we're you"
Aegon's lips turned up into a sad but genuine smile at the realization that she also had enjoyed that time as well. It was good to know that he hadn't been the only one, and that she had also felt pleased with it. "I suppose I was. Happy I mean. It's just that... as we got older, so did the guilt I felt. I always thought of those times as being so wrong and I felt horrible for it..."
"why? I wanted to play as badly as you did, never once did I deny you, I am sorry if I make you feel guilty for such things I do not think them horrible or wrong merely sweet experiments that I hold dear. And I'm sure if we were to make a blanket forts big enough for us both I'd be more then happy to continue our games "She smiled kissing his cheek
"My, my, little dove, are you suggesting what I think you are?"
she giggled "Depend what you think I am?"
"Are you suggesting that despite your impending marriage, you would like us to resume our... blanket fort games?" He looked at you, and his expression was almost bashful.
"mhm".she nodded
"And what if I said yes?"
"then I suppose we'd need to find somewhere to cuddle"
Aegon's lips curved into a smile. “Indeed we do little dove,” he smirked grabbing her hand and tugging her though the streets so they could find an inn for the evening to enjoy their time alone, 
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acourtofthought · 2 days
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I like the potential of elucien but they currently have no chemistry. How do you think Sarah will go about their story?
For Elucien it's really as simple as forced proximity. Put them in a situation where they're forced to spend "two weeks alone together" (quote from ACOMAF) and I'm 100% certain that we're going to see exactly why SJM mated them. Heck, give me a day with them alone together, no sisters hovering near by, Elain having no choice but to speak directly too him without the heavy shadow of recent loss hovering over it and we'll see it.
I think some in the fandom are confusing Elain's physical attraction to Az as proof that she has chemistry with him but when physical attraction is used to build romantic chemistry between characters it will always result in a shallow love story. Lucien did find Elain to be the most beautiful female he'd ever seen so I'm not saying attraction can't be there but when you have characters giving into that attraction before something deeper has been established, true chemistry is going to fall flat. Having Az tell us he's avoided Elain for a year while she's still recovering from trauma doesn't call to mind that he's someone she was able to lean on, it doesn't make me believe that he feels anything for her because she could have used his friendship during that time (since she wasn't asking for distance) but he chose to stay away.
It calls to mind desperately crushing on someone in high school, where you watch them from afar, hoping for the day you can be together, and then finally you get your wish but you realize you actually don't know this person at all. You're infatuated with the idea of them rather than the real them.
I'm not saying Elain and Lucien have any sort of wild on page chemistry right now but it was kind of difficult for there to be any while she was mourning the loss of her humanity and Graysen. And though there was a little bit of hope that she was ready to move past that by the end of ACOWAR, she regressed in the novella Likewise was zero chemistry on page between Nesta and Cassian in ACOFAS, when she chose to push him away after the war.
Characters can't have chemistry when they are ignoring their possible love interest, you actually have to see them talking.
As far as how Sarah will go about their story, I think there are a few options.
Right now we have already had Elain volunteering to help with the Trove, Rhys saying that Elain is capable of more than they've given her credit for, that gardening results in something pretty but involves one getting their hands dirty along the way, and Elain saying she'll do whatever is needed.
The options are limitless because of the above.
The issues they currently face are:
Beron allying with Koschei and setting his sights on Spring.
The NC reminding us that they need Springs army as an ally but that Tamlin is even worse after the announcement of Feyre's pregnancy.
Koschei preparing to call Vassa back.
Koschei trying to get his hands on the Trove to free himself so he might rule their world.
The NC could decide they need to utilize Elain's Seer powers and send her to Day Court to help her train her powers. They don't seem very knowledgeable on Seers so Helion's library's might be the best place for her to learn how to train her powers.
The could decide a marriage alliance between themselves and other courts might benefit them and Elain could volunteer to marry Lucien because she's so over the concept of love and men after Graysen and Az's rejection that she's decided she'll simply focus on helping the courts rather than marrying for love (the concept was introduced in SF after all and SJM carried it out an arranged marriage trope in HOFAS).
They could send Elain as an emissary "spy" to the Spring Court. Not in the shadows or anything, just acting as their courtier, where she would gather information on the situation there, to be sure Lucien's reporting has been unbiased.
Elain could end up dreaming of the drums of Calanmai and find herself pulled to Spring on her own.
They could send Elain to the continent to retrieve Mor since Feysands daemati range does not work that far and have Lucien accompany her.
Or something SJM imagines up! I don't think any of us guessed how Nessian would end up being forced together in SF.
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gerdy-sertorius · 2 days
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A Damsel Pristine Cut Prediction
Alright, I have a theory for the leadup to Damsel’s Chapter Three. So, what information do we have on Chapter Three presently? Well, we already know it’s going to be depressing as all heck (Tony has mentioned that Abby's plan for the chapter would be very painful for both you and the Princess). We know that it will exist in relation to staying with her in the cabin. We know that there are heavily Romantic themes within the chapter. We know that one of Damsel’s primary themes is her lack of agency, so frightening in her Deconstruction and somewhat nervously endearing in her fairytale escape. So to recap, it will focus on Damsel and you staying together, it will focus on the Damsel’s lack of agency, and it will play into traditional Romantic tropes while simultaneously deconstructing them. 
So the idea is that when Damsel declares her wish to leave, rather than simply deconstructing her, you deny her request. You declare that you will stay with her and live out your romantic destiny. While taken aback, she accedes to your request, as she always would. So you stay together in the basement, spending time with each other, maybe opening up new lines of dialogue. She would be acting odd throughout, clearly wanting to leave but also wholly devoted to you. If you say that you’d love to continue to be with her, then what does leaving really matter? She has you, what more could she want? But the drive to leave, to be free, it still tugs at her, to fulfill her purpose as a vessel.
She eventually works up the courage to ask you if you would be willing to leave yet. You could either agree and get the standard “Romantic Haze” ending, or continue staying with her, much to Hero’s chagrin. It feels uncomfortable to so disregard the Princess’s wishes for this life. Smitten, for his part, is so completely out of touch with reality that he genuinely believes that spending time with the Princess like this is something that she honestly wants, and is pushing for a continuation of the status quo. He wants the time with the Princess, he wants to take her and live out their life together, forever.
In response to your second denial, she is clearly hurt but also putting on a brave face. *For his sake.* She is happy, she tells herself. She is with the one she loves, she is willing to do whatever he wants. If being with him would make him happy, then that is what she will do. You unlock more dialogue with her. You talk and laugh and love each other. But the Damsel’s wishes still have been ignored, the one thing she wanted, taken from her. She, after sitting for a long while with you, declares affirmatively that it is her wish to leave. Once again, you can simply get your “Romantic Haze” and abort, or you can continue on and definitively say no. She accepts your wishes, a smile on her face as a tear rolls down her cheek (meant to be reminiscent of the Scorched Grey leadup). 
The dialogue for you… shifts. It becomes more possessive, more controlling. More in tune with the player. The Hero, by this point, is fuming. He keeps telling you that this isn’t right, that this isn’t what she wants and that this needs to stop. You ignore him. You and the Damsel will be together, there will be nothing standing in your way. You lifting her, her lifting you, forever and ever. Consumed by true belief, there is absolutely nothing that will stop you. You are her guide, the one who knows what is best for her. She needs you and you need her. 
Damsel, in one final effort, merely asks to go up the stairs, not to leave but simply to look out the window. To see the stars, to keep a grasp of what could have been. To have a dream. The game will allow you to say “no” as long as you want, but she will begin to deconstruct along that route, unless you allow her to go upstairs. You take her hand and the music swells as you take the stairs, and despite the bleakness of the moment, despite the fact that you will never leave, the moment is beautiful, seeing a smile upon her face that you have not in a long while, seeing the wonder of the outside world. She smiles, turns to you with tears filling her eyes. 
“My dashing hero.”
“I’m sorry.”
She grabs the knife and begins to stab herself in a cruel reflection of Chapter One, apologizing to you all the while. She was incapable of living like this, incapable of being there for you and for that she is truly, genuinely apologetic. She is broken and tearful the whole while, and eventually, as the last flame of light exits her eyes, she dies, with a simple “I’m so sorry” exiting her lips. The Smitten immediately takes the blade to end his own life, both finally being together forever in the cabin. The Hero does not try to stop him this time. 
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miloisdone1 · 22 hours
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☆ “I don’t…. I don’t like girls” part 1
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Warnings: cursing, drinking, internalized homophobia
Summary: nicks bestfriend has been acting distant and ignoring him for weeks on end now. nick is at some party and drunk out of his mind… he decides to call his bestfriend.
Saying Nick was drunk would be an understatement. It was nearing the end of a party thrown down at the beach where the typical teenagers liked to throw parties, and he was definitely more than a few drinks deep at this point. He pulled his phone out, too drunk to stop himself as he calls y/n, one of his best friends who he hasn't seen in a few weeks. y/n has been acting distant and very cold and nick has no idea why.
y/n sits on the edge of his window, hitting his burnt ass penjiman bored out of his mind when he gets a call from nick. y/ns eyes widen and his body seems to freeze. “fuck” he mumbles to himself. y/n sighs and stares at his screen considering declining while hitting his cart again, his thumb moves to the decline but he stops and moves his thumb to the right, putting his phone to his ear.
“hey nick” y/n says with a dry whisper, shutting his eyes slightly while exhaling the smoke.
Nick blinks in surprise as y/n pick up the phone. He tries to stifle a yawn as he speaks, realizing he sounds more than a little intoxicated. "hey." Is all Nick seems to get out.
“hey” y/n says back softly. y/n has been soooo distant from his bestfriend. truth is,recently y/n has realized in the past few weeks that he is, in fact, gay. He's known that on some level for a long time, but it's finally become real to him. Too real. He’s disgusted with himself, he knows being gay isn’t a bad thing but he just doesn’t understand why he has to be. On top on that he's beginning to realize that he has feelings for Nick. He doesn’t know if Nick even likes boys. He can't fully admit it to himself yet, and he hasn't told anyone else either, but that feeling of shame, guilt and disgust is definitely there. It’s there anytime Nick pops in his mind.
"What're you up to?" Nick asks, trying to sound sober though he doesn't completely manage that
As y/n’s sitting at his window, he tries to speak confidently, like everything's fine and he isn't bothered at all by nicks call, but he still sounds somewhat shaky, his voice wavering just a bit.
"Uh, nothing really, just chillin'… what about you?” y/n fiddles with the sleeve of his hoodie.
"Just at some party ." Nick chuckles a bit. "God, you should've gone, you're missing out." He’s trying to make this sound like some normal call.
Y/n giggles a little to himself at nicks drunk voice as he's sitting at his window - he can't help it, even though he really wants to keep on with his distant act. It’s nice to act like everything is normal between them for a second. something about the call with nick just got his heart rate soaring, and he's got a flutter in his stomach. He's trying to hide the fact that he's thinking about his new found feelings, but he can't help smiling a bit and getting a little giddy.
"What are you doing instead of being here?" Nick says snapping y/n out of his thoughts trying to sound more curious than he is. In reality, he's slightly miffed that y/n didn't show up even though y/n knew damn well he wanted him here.
there is some silence between the boys
"You should've come..." nick says more quietly, hoping to prompt y/n to say something more.
"Yeah, sorry I went out with someone but I'm back home now." y/n’s tone is a little dry as he says it, and he's trying to sound casual and like it wasn't a big deal, but you can tell there's more at play than he's letting on. Y/n’s mouth tenses when he says that, because he's lying - he didn't go out with anyone, he’s been sitting alone in his room all night listening to music and getting high.
“Went out with someone? Like a date or something?” Nicks tone completely changes .
“no… just hanged out that’s all” y/n lies through his teeth
“Whatever,” nick says, his tone getting more and more irritated. “So you just hung out with some random girl and didn’t even consider going to a party with me?”
y/n mentally groans at the word “girl” and still hasn’t spoken a word. “uh-“
"You're seriously passing up a great party just to 'hang out' with some girl?” Nick interrupts, his tone clearly accusatory. He's got a bit of a jealous streak in him, so he gets kind of pissy when people spend time with other people instead of him. Especially if it's y/n.
“Me and you have hardly hanged out anyway.” y/n says through a whisper. he knows this conversation won’t end unless he is cold. every fiber in his body tells him not to say things like this to nick but he can’t help but push Nick away.
“Yeah…” nick says quietly. “That’s kind of what I’m trying to change, you know? We haven’t hung out as much lately and that sucks… I just don’t understand.” Nick slurs a bit while rubbing his eyes, frustrated.
there’s just silence on the other end. Nick thinks of why on earth y/n would be so distant and ignoring his best friend.
“You’re not mad, are you?” Nick says, sounding slightly more drunk as he asks that while his voice breaks a bit . There’s a clear tone of insecurity in his voice though, and a bit of annoyance at having been ignored for the past few weeks.
“no I’m not mad” y/n says through a shaky voice. he hates that he made someone feel like this, especially Nick.
“Good,” Nick says quickly, not really believing him but not wanting to argue with him either but his drunk brain is letting him say whatever he thinks. “Cause you got no reason to be mad at me anyways.”
“alright…” is all y/n seems to get out. every part in him is telling him to start apologizing and tell him everything but he bites his tounge, staring at his feet dangling from his window.
"So, you gonna come meet up with me or what?" Nick slurs.
y/n sits at his window still biting his tounge. he can’t help it… he misses nick. y/n sighs. “fuck it… fine I’ll sneak out.”
"Good," Nick mutters sounding more relieved than he should be. His slightly drunken state only amplifies this relief and annoyance into something a bit more pronounced. "So you're coming then?"
“mhm” y/n hums while grabbing his backpack.
"Good," Nick repeats "Welllll, hurry up. I'm kinda drunk right now and you don't want to keep me waiting." He says playfully, trying to mask his worry of what’s gonna happen when he try’s to talk to y/n later
“alright bye” y/n says dryly, he’s trying his best to seem nonchalant and not nervous.
“Bye,” nick mutters, a little hurt by his dismissive attitude. He hangs up and puts his phone away, waiting by the fire pit for y/n to show up.
Nick leans against some tree, looking at the fire, listening to the music that's being blasted through portable speakers nearby. Nothing really feels like anything is real right now for nick.
"Come onnn," nick complains to nobody in particular, glancing at his phone every now and then. He's been waiting for a little while, and he's getting increasingly impatient just sitting around and waiting for him to show up.
then he sees y/n from a distance. he’s talking to some people and dapping them up. Nick stares at how y/n talks to the others, he’s charming to say the least. Why is he only distant with me?
Nick gets lost in his thoughts and looks up as he sees him approaching, he blinks as he realizes how long he's actually been staring off into space for. He blinks a few times in rapid succession to try and focus back, and he gives y/n a half-assed wave as he approaches.
“hey” nick says trying to hide how buzzed he actually is. "Took you long enough."
y/n rolls his eyes and sits down beside Nick. He doesn’t know what to say, he never seems to around nick. he takes a shaky breath and runs his fingers through his hair.
"So did you meet up with some girl or something?" Nick asks, his tone teasing but also slightly agitated. He's still a little annoyed that he didn't show up to the party, even though he knows it's not really his place to control who he hangs out with.
y/n grabs a little on his hair and groans* “it was just my friend”
Nick gives a mock dramatic groan. "Right, your 'friend'... I'm so sure." his tone dripping with sarcasm and doubt.
“it seriously was just a friend but whatever…” y/n mutters while bitting his inner cheek, while matching nicks stance and leaning his head on the tree.
"Right, sure," nick says, still skeptical. "Whatever you say. So are you going to start hanging out with 'friends' more often and ignoring me? Is that how it's gonna be now?"
y/ns heart sinks into his stomach.”I’m not ignoring you-“
"Really? 'Cause you haven't made any effort to hang out with me lately, and you know damn well you could've come to the party but ignored me as usual instead."So what gives?"
y/n stares down at his feet and takes a deep breath, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna talk about this” why the fuck did I even come here y/n thinks to himself.
"You don't want to talk about this? "Why the hell not? You haven't been around for like a month, and I thought you could at least come to one fucking party with me today."
nick raises his voice a bit looking at anything but y/n. he just doesn’t get it, y/n has always been a person that is very stubborn. nick has tried to pry in the past to get him to talk about his feelings but he’s never succeeded.
y/n squeezed his eyes shut. he knew he should have came and everything Nick is saying is valid. “I’m here now” he whispers while glancing at nick, then bringing his eyes back down to his beat up shoes.
"Yeah, but you're only here now because I was getting pissy about you ignoring me! I had to call you and practically beg you to come, and you're just acting like this is fine. You weren't even planning on coming!" Nick now raises his voice, the alcohol making him have no filter.
“you just don’t know shit about me nick ok?” y/n snaps back, matching nicks tone. Nick just stares a him.
"The hell do you mean I don't know anything about you? You're my best friend! I know you better than anyone else in this damn town” nick is now yelling
Y/n’s jaw clenches and he takes a shaky breath “it’s just-“
"It's just what?" Nick spats at him
y/ns fingernails dig deep into his palms holding back tears. Taking deeps breaths. Doing anything he can to calm down. don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. He opens his mouth trying to form words. ” I don’t….I don’t like girls.” y/ns cheeks are now full of tears. no way he just said that out loud.
Nicks expression changes immediately, going from annoyance to confusion to realization. He freezes for a moment, and he doesn't say anything as he tries to digest this new piece of information. He thought he knew so much about him. truth is, y/n doesn’t know everything about nick either.
to be continued
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shinjisdone · 2 days
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Could you please make a scenario where the reader is being spied on by the rest of the ban and thorfinn deals with them real well🙏 I can feel his rage through my screen
I take it that the reader in this case is seen as female and the bandmates are reacting to it in a perverted way as they are/were depicted in their peak time as vikings.
TW: bandmates spying on female!reader while she bathes, hints at sexual harrassment and SA, not done at all but Thorfinn thinks about and decides to protect you from it, mentions of pervesity, Thorfinn pondering about killing them/committing violence, fuming Thorfinn
Such men pride themselves in being "warriors" but you and Thorfinn both knew this couldn't be further from the truth. They cackle and sneer at whatever they hold power against in the most vile way. In and out of battle they search for a kick, for something to make them feel powerful. So with grins so big it could crack their face, they shadow after you two as you look deeper within the forest for a lake.
Thorfinn had long sensed the group and would often throw glares over his shoulder as he made sure you walked in front of him.
He had long learned to get keen hearing for both on the battlefield and for situations like this. The both of you tried to make such trips short and discreet but some were insistent to tag along.
The blonde cannot afford to really break their bones and cut off a few fingers as they deserve since they are still Askeladd's manpower. It would be so easy to get rid of them for how predictable they are but Thorfinn has to deal with this in different ways.
You've long adjusted to put your trust in the young man. He has proven himself to be a friend even if it's only to you. So you say nothing and do as you always do as you step into the lake.
The corner is well hidden behind bushes and Thorfinn awaits the men's arrival. You've long undressed and began to clean yourself and as the bandmates eagerly hide, they are just met with Thorfinn's glare and him spreading his body wide, shielding you as best as you could.
The blonde is small but with the bushes and you hunching, not an inch of you could be seen. The men grumble in disappointment again as the blonde protects you, unnecessarily in their opinion, but still wish to not be spotted. You are quick to finish your routine, having thrown your belongings over Thorfinn's shoulder as he kept on guarding you, broad and unmoving like a boulder. The bandmates jokingly call him a scarecrow in these situations.
They also joke how lucky the young man must be to be so close to a woman's beauty. All he'd have to do is just peek over his shoulder to indulge in it while they have to hide over hills to even get a slim chance of finding the both of you.
Killing the men off would end up being a bigger hassle since the leader would have to find replacements. And anyone willing to become a viking is also someone who'd spy on you without a second thought anyway, so what is the point?
What they do not understand is that Thorfinn is anything but delighted. He silently fumes and has to press down his anger again and again only because they are Askeladd's men. How dare they? How can they call themselves warriors? Don't they understand how you feel? This isn't a 'priviledge', it is protecting you. Thorfinn would never think of betraying your trust by even having his sight go anywhere near you, even if he has feelings for you. He stands there not to indulge but his back is your shield, a brief safe space of anything that dares to threaten you. He will stand there until you are done and dressed, and even then will Thorfinn keep an eye on any bandmates. He won't even look at you, hours after your bath, dried and dressed, until you initiate any contact and tell him it's okay.
His priority is keeping you safe and having you feel safe. It doesn't matter if you were not hurt, if you feel violated in any way, then Thorfinn did not protect you. If you feel scared and uncomfortable, then Thorfinn did not an good enough job protecting you. Whatever needs to be done, he will do even if it means shielding you out of sight, including his own.
If, however, they were local perverts, Thorfinn would have no problem striking them down. He does not think of how vile they might be but is making sure any kind of danger for you is eliminated. He can't let that happen. In cases like that he is quick to deal with them but if somehow, harrassment has been going on for long, he wouldn't be able to contain his anger. How dare they talk about you that way? How dare they?
If he feels platonic towards you, he tends to silently fume in general. He doesn't want to cause more trouble than needed and prefers to just take care of the problem. If he can kill them, he will do so to stop whatever was going on and to have it serve as a warning to others in the future. He doesnt care if he has to call you 'his woman', he will make it clear as they that you are not to be messed with.
If he has romantic feelings, Thorfinn tends to freak out verbally. The acts of violence and warnings are the same but he will curse and scream a lot more. Don't they dare go anywhere near you! Or even speak your name! Any look thrown at you will be met with a glare of his!
For the case of the bandmates, he will end up holding a grudge against those who would attempt to spy on you. Doesn't matter how often and how long.
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blacklegsanjiii · 2 days
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Hii i wanted to share my thoughts on the soulmate for Oisín Sanji if thats alright
I voted for Zoro myself (even thought honestly they would all be sweet/funny) but i think the situation with Zoro is the funniest like-
imagine all your life till this point youve been training the be the greatest swordsman of them all and you has your eyes set on this one guy all this time and also in the back of your head youre aware he has a kid thats around your age (based on the wanted posters when they stopped updating) and you see it as someone to help you get closer to your end goal
Que you becoming a pirate and later meeting this pretty asshole of a cook who you quickly become head over heels for when he shows his spark when fighting, he's your equal and you havent had that since your best friend died
And then you find out he is the kid of your rival but somehow instead of it being heartbreaking it only makes it better because even in the time you didnt know, he takes care of your swords with so much love and care, he helps you get a proper swordsman diet like he has done it a thousand times already and- he has a swordsmans soulmate mark!!!
Idk i just think zosan for this would be very funny but at the same time very sweet (love sick Zorooo 💥💥 he loves his spicy boy friend)
But i also think it would give mihawk a giant headache so thats also funny
No, no I get it. Trust me. It is the funniest option but also gives Mihawk the largest headache-especially if Zoro never connects the dots fully until they meet up on Karai Bari. BUT BEFORE THAT???
Zoro who hasn't had a decent match since Kuina died. He's had his eyes set on Hawkeye since he was a kid and joined the dojo and wanted to be the best since. Not because Hawkeye was the best then-he wasn't but everyone knew he would be and he had a kid around his age and the kid has a twirly brow with a dumb name. Then the posters stop updating and Hawkeye becomes a warlord then Kuina dies. He takes Wado and leaves to fulfill his and Kuina's dreams. He becomes a bounty hunter because he needs the money and the roads and islands keep moving on him. He keeps his eyes out for the guy around his age who could be Mihawk's kid. Then he gets tied up in a marine base and is freed by a guy who wants him to become a pirate. He agrees. They get a crew, a navigator and then a liar/sharpshooter and when they get to this fish restuarant? Sure he loses to Mihawk and gets bisected and the prettiest guy he ever saw is yelling at him to give up his dream but he doesn't die. It's fine, it's fine~. He's alive and the blond guy is hot and he can kick ass and he doesn't use swords.
Also the blond guy's name is Sanji and Zoro doesn't use his name at all. He is whatever nickname Zoro calls him in that moment. He's an equal and Zoro tells him all about his plans to find Hawkeye's kid when it's time for a rematch and draw him out to a duel, twirly always laughs at him for it, keeps saying it's a one way ticket to dying. He says it with a dopey smile though. He cares for Zoro's swords when he's on bedrest and isn't allowed to move, doing so anyway despite Chopper's protests. Also they know they're so soulmates, Zoro's whole back covered in blue and fish. Sanji's shoulder braided like the hilt of Wado Ichimonji and just as beautiful. Zoro wishes he knew what Oisín's soulmark looks like because it would be so much easier to find him.
After Sabaody when he's on Kuriagana and wishing he could have been there for his captain but he's training against his dream, with the man who holds his dream and it's good. Even if ghost girl is there and he's away from his soulmate. When he asks Mihawk where his kid is and Perona is curious because he never came to warlord meetings with the kid. Mihawk is like 'yes, that was part of the deal I made becoming a warlord, they would stop updating his bounties. As for his current location, no idea.' because he has his own dream and he's not taking his father's mantle, doesn't want it. Zoro yells that he's no help and Mihawk asks if he wants to follow suit of the people who tried to take his son before him, just because he's stronger doesn't mean he's strong enough yet. Zoro takes massive offense to this.
When they get back together and are leaving Sabaody Zoro is absolutely complaining about this to Sanji despite saying he's stronger and Sanji is laughing his ass off again. Sanji points out that Zoro seems to be overlooking the fact the kid was raised by Mihawk and Zoro grumbles and just buries into his side. Of course after WCI and Wano Sanji is prickly, even to his soulmate, even after the death pact. Zoro is absolutely never letting Sanji out of his sight again so when they go meet Mihawk and the rest of the Guild on Karai Bari the crew is nervous. Except for the monster trio and Robin.
At some point either Mihawk or Sanji slip up, it's just habit as they cook together on the Sunny since Mihawk is the only one to get along with the Straw Hat pirates. They're chatting idly and the crew is there just to make sure and Sanji points at something and is like 'hand the salt over, dad' and Mihawk just hands it over 'Oisín, you're an adult, really?' before they both pause and sigh. The crew is absolutely losing it in different ways. Nami is pissed that Mihawk wasn't there for WCI, Zoro is pissed that Sanji hid being Oisín, Luffy is laughing really fucking hard and asking Zoro how he didn't know, Chopper and Usopp are despairing. Robin hums and asks Mihawk if he knew Zoro was Sanji's soulmate and Mihawk sighs long and loud and Sanji asks if Zoro was telling him the same shit he was telling him for their whole relationship, Mihawk says yes and that Zoro is a fucking moron.
Do I also have something utterly heart breaking and wrenching for acesan in Oisín!sanji? Yes. Was this fun to write? Yes.
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“But now…”
Lockwood is so vulnerable in this moment.
He’s responding directly to what she said just before she stormed away from him and into their house:
“What does it even matter if we end up stabbed, or dead at the bottom of the Thames with nobody left to care?!
This doesn’t feel like winning.”
He stood there stunned, watching her go.
Hours before, he had stood in the same spot near a different taxi, watching her stride towards him in the same blue dress with the wind in her hair. She was a vision. He smiled despite himself.
“So it’s just us”
“Is that alright?” He had asked, as she held his gaze, her smile warming him thoroughly in the chill air, his heart pounding as he held the cab door for her.
There was no smile for him now.
And it was all his fault.
After showering off the river and putting on a fresh set of clothes, he’s had a quiet moment to think about what she said in anger… and how right she was to say it. She has the truth of the matter- he put them in terrible danger and they only barely survived the night. He was so reckless and careless and utterly foolish. The self loathing voice in his head threatens to take over as the weight of it settles on his mind. She’d be right to leave him, to hate him and never forgive him, he thinks, and the thought almost breaks his heart. Self loathing collides with a sense of desperation— she can’t leave me …I need her… I’ve fallen completely and desperately in love with Lucy …and I can’t—I mustn’t— screw this up, …if I haven’t already. He takes a slow breath and gathers himself, mentally rehearsing his apology before finding her in the kitchen.
He struggles through the apology… it’s not enough. The words feel like they’re falling flat and sound hollow in his ears. He moves closer, unsure if that will help but compelled to be close, drawn to her as always.
“I just wanted to say, don’t give up on us— please”
She drops the butter knife and it clangs to the plate.
He knows he’s got it wrong- he’s barely half way to the truth. He moves closer, compelled to see her and desperate to look into her eyes. He turns his body to her, she hesitates, still and waiting.
“Or, what I really should say is… don’t give up on me.”
Now she turns to him, and he’s grateful for it. Though her expression is unreadable, she gives him strength to show her his darkness. It’s her strength now that compels him:
“To be honest the bottom of the Thames used to be a far more appealing place to be.
And really no one would have cared.
But now…”
Is almost a question he poses, it’s so tentative.
There’s so much unsaid after those two words, and he has to believe it’s enough and she already knows the rest:
But now… Now I want to live. Because of you, Lucy. You came along and gave me something to live for.
But now, maybe someone would care if I ended up at the bottom of the Thames. I didn’t dare to think you cared about me, Lucy… but then you went and told me so. It was just before we went into Winkman’s auction earlier that night.
I was frustrated and rash and I said “when my time comes I don’t plan on leaving anyone behind who’s going to stare at that door every night, wishing I would just walk through it one more time”
And then you stopped me in my tracks:
“Well you should have never let me in, or George, because now it’s far too late.”
And that left me speechless.
So yes, I can say something as profound and crazy as “but now…” because I dare to believe you, Lucy. I have to try to believe you, to believe that I matter to someone. To two people even, my best friends that I love dearly and one that I love so deeply that it terrifies me.
“But now…”.
Silence. I have no more words. And I hope it’s enough.
I can only stare into her eyes, totally at her mercy, waiting for whatever she might say next …fully knowing it can break me. But what else can I do. I’m wrecked for her. And I’m a complete idiot and we both know it and she’d be right to reject my apology, to reject me. I stand with bated breath, looking into her beautiful eyes not daring to hope for forgiveness.
“Grenadier guard or policeman”
I exhale.
A wave of relief floods through my chest as the tension I didn’t know I held is released. I struggle to stand composed, this close to her while I’m taken by a flood of gratefulness and love for this fierce and brilliant girl who has —and forever will have— my heart.
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canisalbus · 5 months
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I'm sure you get loads of these but heck I said I'd give it a shot anyway!
Your artwork is so inspiring and beautiful. I recently graduated from art school with a degree in Animation Production but I've decided I'd love to be an illustrator some day. Your work really motivates me and gets my brain juice buzzin. Keep it up!!!
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uselessnbee · 5 months
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what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.
or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!
and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes
and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you
#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her#but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son#just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead#so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options#that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive#thinking about it makes me go feral#they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible#and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too#but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye#percy jackson#sally jackson#pjo#hoo#percy and sally#percy jackon and the olympians#whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work#and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts#don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him#but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore?#and he knows that's not true but what if?#i'm thinking it#okay i think that's enough
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lunarharp · 4 months
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figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..
#to cheer me up.. i feel bad atm.. these things don't even make me feel very good tho bc i'm such a narrative/sketch-based artist..#but Proper Beautiful Finished Pieces are what grab attention and look good at the end of the year all neatly lined up lol.....#so looking at a “yearly review” where i can only choose 'the best image of the month' (??) is like...What have i even been doing...#i did a month by month look back on twt for myself instead..but even that doesn't express the quantity of comic-based stuff..#that i do put a lot of time/heart into..but alas i feel bad bringing even them back..RTing/reblogging my own art simply feels bad lol..#AND WHY IS IT ALL B&W...trying to accept that i LIKE doing that and sketching and scribbling..not like i'm trying to like..Get Artist Job..#this year was so profoundly lonely at times bc i spent all my time drawing instead of socialising and trying to find friends....#please please please have achieved more of your dreams in the future so you can look back at 2023 and think..#It was good that happened so that it got me further to the future. Or whatever i guess.....................#regardless i did have a great amount of fun drawing and improving this year and dwelling deeply & heavily on witch hat atelier.#art-wise and emotionally....march july & september were the best months i think..AUGUST WAS SO WEIRD SUMMER IS SO EVIL ALWAYS.#thank you very much if you are reading this for enjoying & leaving nice tags & such like <3 i've realised how fulfilling that is to receive#really keeps me posting stuff here instead of keeping it all to myself in my head#i wish everyone in this world could have a safe and happy end of year. i wish living in this world were easier
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icewindandboringhorror · 10 months
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recent lounging babey images
#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy#a beauntifulle boye...#cats#STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going#on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit#so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T#Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the#main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things.#Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've#now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do#and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and#everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over#the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many#potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all#seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o#cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat#ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together!#and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams#together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and#am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper#focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not)#even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern#age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu#I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb#AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3#I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol
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lemongogo · 10 months
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one day i will post eriks art .and rhe world will sing
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vvanessaives · 1 year
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i think the Thing that makes vhanya's tragedy so..tragic to me is her youth. but not in a 'omg dying young, she had so much to live :(' which is. well rip to her. but more like every single mistake she does is in a way..normal. like mistakes you do when you're a teen and are sooo dumb but make you learn and they shouldn't weight too much or more like. they shouldn't have you pay a too expensive price. while vhanya's mistakes aren't looked at with kindness, there's no Understanding. she walks around with her rage and tears like she's screaming "i'm still learning!! don't i deserve some kindness?" and instead of a "it's okay that you fucked up, we can fix this" it's mistakes that shape forever her future without any way to rewind and idk it gets me </3
#rena.txt#like does she fuck up? YEA. the betrayal and the mistakes that come from a first love and shit and stuff. like yea she takes.. questionable#choices and her behaviour isn't the best at times but lord doesn't she deserve a bit of understanding? she's angry and angry and ANGRY at#her mother that (in her opinion) looks down on her and doesn't love her and probably vhanya thinks ari considers her as her greatest#disappointment. and that's when the rage takes control and she screams and threatens and all of that shit but then sadness settles and#she's falling down and asking her mother to please forgive her. like SHE'S LEARNING SHE MAKES STUPID SHIT. WELL YEA WHO HASN'T DONE STUPID#SHIT AS A TEEN!! and then belonging. god she only ever wanted to belong somewhere but she always ended up being estranged? not a black not#a green not her mother's side not her family. she tries to find her place in a world where she feels like isn't made for her. which is why#when aemond dies </3 she's just like. i thought i found a place but to follow this idea i lost everything else and now that i lost that#Only one thing there's nothing else to live for. as if ari wouldnt welcome back her daughter after whatever stupid shit she would do GIRL!!#AND LIKE THE IDEA ITSELF that she convinced herself that was her Place finally. a first love. dumb and stupid the kind of probably doesn't#last but you remember it and she's like THAT'S EVERYTHING i will ever have in life and now that is gone it makes no sense to be alive.#there's only emptiness. brrr IDK I'M LOSING IT. SHE'S DUMB BUT ALSO SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE. ME @ ME: U CATCH MY DRIFT#in the words of my bestest bestie moravia who wrote about alienation in a way that spoke to me through my whole teen years: 'desire for#normality; a longing to adapt to some recognized and general rule; a wish to be like everyone else from the moment that being different#meant being guilty.' FUCKING DEAD ON THIS SUNDAY MORNING
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soullessjack · 9 months
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every day I remember that this fandom simply does not care about autistic people and, much like every other fucking thing I experience as an autistic person, the concept of it being a collective found family becomes increasingly alien to me. love this place.
#we really just can’t win I fucking hate it here#like this is my special interest. this is my community. I’ve met so many people through it that ended up becoming lifelong friends#I’ve been here for almost ten years and it’s meant everything to me for ten years. it’s kept me going through so much shit.#it’s more than just a show and more than just a fandom and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever been apart of#and like I didn’t realize I was autistic until like late 2021. I didn’t even realize SPN was my special interest until then either#I didn’t realize JACK was my special interest. but knowing that he is autistic means so much to me#and its meant so much to other autistic ppl in the fandom. somebody at MomentoCon even mentioned it to Alex last weekend for fucks sake .#it’s real and it’s special and it’s important to us but#but no we can’t have that. make him a fucking baby. toss every interesting thing about his character into a fucking volcano#and relegate him to being a fucking prop for everybody else.#I don’t know how else to tell you this but you are literally infantilizing an autistic person. you are being ableist. intentionally or not.#and the way you all seem to just. idk. double down on your own ableism? or excuse it?#or literally ignore autistic ppl who try to point out how ableist and weird your behavior towards an autistic character is?#it’s a lot of things. it’s so many terrible things and terrible feelings. but above all it’s disheartening.#it hurts to know that even in this space where everyone is family and everyone belongs. I’m still on the outside looking in.#I’m still not /really/ a part of everything else. it’s a horrible feeling and I don’t wish anyone to ever go through with it#but maybe you fucking should. maybe then you’d realize what you’re doing. or maybe you won’t. maybe I’m screaming into the void again.#which I literally always am w this topic anyways. nothing but screaming into a vast empty void that’s supposed to be my big special family#but whatever I guess.#spn#supernatural#spn fandom#spn family#spn famdom#jack kline#autistic jack kline#tfw2.0#destiel#sam and dean#castiel
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inmirova · 10 months
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yall my ex is so lucky we're not together now that I'm off my meds for like. not even the reason that makes sense.
#oooooh i have no appetite now that I'm not on multiple meds with weight gain as a side effect#surely that aspect of my being is evil of me#pretty sure my unmedicated bipolar disorder would just be like fun for him bc im not always depressed anymore#not to be like crazy or whatever but the fact that while i was taking meds and working on my relationship w food they were like. bitter?#like demonized me both having problems with food and seeking help for them#&viewed my being on medication as exceptionally privileged which like. i wish i was on them again i get it but also getting that 'privilege'#required 1) my own fucking money i got from having a job something they didnt get until we broke up and i was like#im not paying off our apartment alone so either you or your parents owe me money every month#and 2) getting hospitalized after an attempt#because i had the privilege of being on twice the max dose of an antidepressant that didnt help me#like. ugh yes it was a privilege and one that i miss having but it also sucked getting there it wasnt like#idk the way they framed it was always like i was offered the fucking luck of the draw on it or whatever#like sorry? remember when i was on so much lexapro i went into a dissociative fugue and started dating you lol fuck off#because i actually genuinely dont remember like 6 or 7 months because of that shit!#i actually ended up hospitalized from it and all i remember hearing about it was that you were sad bc you felt you werent enough to stop it#like it had fucking anything to do with you#like wish them all the best but damn. actually they sucked very very badly. i hope they figure it out one day but probably not#ik theyre on antidepressants now so yknow. im sure theyll forget being medicated means theyre privileged now#becomes normal once its them or some shit
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