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#I’d actually watch the fuck out of this
erwinsvow · 1 day
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introducing... bitchy reader!
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rafe never pays attention to sarah’s friends. new yet similar faces seem to make the rounds through tannyhill every week; the place was a revolving door. the occasional familiar girl would say hi to him, which would of course be ignored since he doesn’t care enough to say hi back.
so naturally, you become the exception to his little rule.
you and sarah are on opposite sides of the counter, flicking through magazines and taking sips from overpriced iced coffees, when he overhears a conversation that makes him stop and listen.
“-and he’s not like topper, like, at all. he’s really nice and actually talks to me instead of at me-”
“wow,” he hears you say, dragging out the syllables and sarcasm dripping from your voice. “such standards you have. no, really.”
“shut up. he’s totally sweet-” sarah says, but you interrupt her.
“he’s, like, totally a dirty pogue.” that catches his attention—not just the fact that there’s something going on between his sister and some pogue, but the way you say the sentence, how the words sound coming from your mouth. 
you nearly sound like rafe.
“that is so rude-”
“what? i’m just being honest. i’d be a bad friend if i didn’t tell you the truth.”
“what truth?” his sister questions.
“that you’re settling for some pogue boy because you’re bored of top. i get it. if i was dating him i’d be bored enough to fuck a pogue too.”
rafe cringes at the topic even though your word choice makes him laugh—topper is boring, though he doesn’t think he’s heard anyone else bring it up until now. he steps back into the doorway, watching the two of you. the crass words are coming from you, dressed in a sunny yellow dress and tapping pretty pink nails against the counter. 
“hey! i’m not bored-”
“you mean, you like hearing about his boat and golf every single day?”
“he has other hobbies! like-”
“like what?” you pause, watching sarah’s expression before giving her a pointed look—a look that says told you so. “who are you really trying to convince right now?” you flip through another magazine, finding something that must have caught your eye. you lift it to show sarah—some pinked striped pajamas and fuzzy slippers on the pages. “don’t i totally need this?”
“shut up.”
“that’s what someone says when they know the other person’s right,” you say with a mocking smile, setting down the magazine. he’s watching the whole thing—you’re funnier than he would have thought. “and if you change your mind just go to country club. top’s dime a dozen there.” the two of you start laughing. 
“i’m not gonna change my mind-”
“that’s what you said when you started dating topper,” you say it deadpan, and rafe holds back a laugh.
“-because he’s really nice. he’s a good guy.”
“ugh, sarah. making out with a dirty pogue at a bonfire is one thing. you’re talking like you’re in love. get a grip.”
“what? what’s so wrong with that?” sarah asks, taking a sip of her drink.
“because you can’t be in love with someone you have to hide your valuables around.” that’s when he decides to walk in—sarah sputtering on her drink while you roll your eyes.
“and what’re you girls talkin’ about?” rafe asks, and two sets of eyes turn to look at him. you look at him a little confused—in all the years you’ve known sarah and times you’ve been at tannyhill, rafe’s never once spoken to you.
“i don’t think it’s any of your business-” his sister says, and then he rolls his eyes. you interrupt right away.
“sarah, it’s okay.” you turn to rafe, looking right at him and leaning in a little like you’re gonna tell in something. “it’s really not any of your business.”
blank face, trying to be annoyed but not actually feeling annoyed, he stares back at you. his sister laughs stupidly, heading into the living room. she leaves you alone with rafe in the kitchen, but as you grab your drink and try to follow sarah, rafe says something.
“y’know i heard that shit you were sayin’. you’re funny, kid.” you turn back to look at rafe.
“thanks. i wasn’t joking.”
“yeah. good. at least one of my sister’s friends has ‘er head screwed straight.” you laugh, but the look on your face says you didn’t think it was funny.
“are you trying to compliment me? by insulting all my other friends?” he wasn’t expected that retort.
“no. no, i-”
“maybe if your friend wasn’t such a shit boyfriend, sarah wouldn’t be talking to some pogue. but hey, what do i know?”
“hey, kid, i-”
“don’t call me that.” you roll your eyes, walking to the living room without even glancing back at rafe. he calls out after you again.
“so have you?” you pause, turning again.
“have i what?” “made out with some pogue at the bonfire.” he shrugs. “that’s what you said to sarah, isn’t it?”
“again, how is that any of your business?” you ask, cocking your head at him.
“that’s not an answer.”
“i don’t owe you an answer. but for the record, no, i haven’t. i actually have standards.” he doesn’t miss the remark and what it says about his sister.
“good,” rafe says, looking at you. his eyes rake over your body before he can stop it—your short hem, the jewelry dangling on your wrists and neck, the heels even though you hadn’t gone anywhere.
“shut up. weirdo.” you walk to the living room where sarah’s waiting for you.
rafe’s gonna have a hard time staying away from you.
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semischarmed · 1 day
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River
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River was a walking enigma. 
Instagram, TikTok, Facebook- hell, I even tried looking for a yearbook. Nothing. I had nothing on the guy. Like an illusion, he merely appeared, did his work diligently and then promptly vanished. In fact, his most common phrase around the office was a “Sorry, I can’t- busy.” His distance seemed to put some people off. That only made me want him more.
When Chelsea threw a quitting party, he dropped in, chatted for a few minutes and then left without saying goodbye- except to Chelsea. He wasn’t rude by any means. I’ve only ever seen the guy be polite. I personally found it quite hot. His mysteriousness brought an allure about him.
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During another quitting party- a dinner for Mark this time, I tried to make conversation, asking him why he was named River. I actually asked the question in a few roundabout ways. Most I ever got was a “just what my parents named me- they thought I’d have brown hair”. I tried to pry for his hobbies, asked what he did for fun and he only responded with a “I watch baseball, go to the gym, watch TV. I guess”, before asking me about mine. The conversation was cordial, and probably a little boring, but I was captivated. This had been the closest I ever sat next to him. 
My breathing quickened, ever so slightly, as I watched his shirt struggle to contain the form within. I traced the vascularity in his hands, the craftsmanship in the sculpt of his neck, the fabric of his shirt stretching taut when he would reach to grab a napkin. There was a full plate of food in front of me but I was only salivating at one thing.
The conditions were not ideal- but what choice did I have? The guy was like a ghost. I laughed a bit at the irony. I sat right across, trying to filter the scents and the sounds of food and camaraderie to focus on him. This would take all my brain power. I steadied my breathing and sharpened my focus, as I continued to answer and ask mundane questions about some work projects we both had. I started my work, mimicking every microexpression, every slight movement. I tailored every word from my mouth- even my delivery to slowly match his. This had to be subtle, of course- I’ve found out the hard way in the past how creepy this process could look in public if done too quickly. 
River’s eyes blinked slower, like a haze was forming in his mind. I followed suit, weaving my slight impersonation in and out of our conversation. Like a pulse, I felt our movements begin to sync. Almost there. Now came the tough part, slowly drawing him out and isolating him without lo-
“C’mon, let’s all get shots- uh… River you ok bro?” Mark asked.
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He shook off his daze, surprised at himself before laughing off the weirdness. 
I was pissed the rest of the night, forcing myself to hide the permanent glare I would have worn for Mark. 
As the night drew on, River left early- of course, and I continued on, staying a bit longer to wish Mark well in one final toast for the night. 
That would be the last time in a while I’d be so close to him. The following drought was unbearable. For the next few months, no one quit. No big holidays were coming up, and our office wasn’t much for parties. Instead, I had to satiate myself with glances and the occasional short conversation.
= = = = 
“Does that work for you two?” My boss asked. I nodded readily, eyeing River’s response. Another nod.
Fuck. I practically jumped when the boss said those words. A presentation. A presentation with River. A chance.
I think I deserved an Oscar for my acting in the few weeks after we were both tasked with the presentation. A wrong font here, corrupted save there, a missed chart. I “worked” tirelessly on the presentation with River, making sure to leave enough mistakes and gaps to drag the process out. 
The guy was too polite, and I knew I had to use that against him. I ran the clock, watching the days progress into weeks and his brow furrow as stress deepened. Of course, I had to play my part, acting innocent at every step. A quick “sorry” for every mistake I planted was enough to ease suspicion. I even faked a confession about roommate drama causing my decline in performance. I thanked how private he was in that moment- I lived alone. Ever the hero, River was quick to take on the responsibility- even covering for me on few occasions. I knew I had to get inside this man.
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Then came the day before the big presentation.
“I- uh… okay. Maybe we can finish this at my apartment,” He stated, clearly uncomfortable. I held back a moan.
= = = =
“You can set your stuff down there”.
It was a bit boring compared to what I expected. He was definitely put together at work, so it was a bit surprising to see some mess littering his apartment. 
A few posters dotted the walls. Some basketball guy, I guess. An action movie. A generic college banner. His furniture boxy and grey, and the carpets running through the floors were in need of cleaning. Perhaps unsurprisingly, his kitchen was pristine, practically sparkling, aside from a small collection of protein powders and supplements. 
“Uh.. sorry I don’t really have any snacks.”
He sheepishly opened the near-empty fridge and offered me a choice in drink. Some kind of pre-workout beverage and water. I took the water. 
“Okay, I need to head to the gym for a bit. You still have a few slides you wanted to add, right?” A Hoodie-wearing, duffel-toting River asked. I nodded, trying not to look too eager and straining to keep my eyes from staring at his well-defined legs. 
And then, there I was. Alone in River’s apartment. Alone with River’s apartment. I ran to his dirty laundry pile. 
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“Mmmphhhh” My eyes rolled back as I took the deepest inhale of my life. These were River’s boxer briefs. The same ones he had just worn. Doused in the scent of a day’s work. It was damp- guess River was a sweaty guy, though the long walk and couple flights of stairs to get to his apartment may have also been culprit. I was paralyzed in bliss, as I took in every note of his natural musk. 
It reverberated deep in my chest as I continued to circulate every ounce of River I could inside me. The underwear was practically glued to my nose and mouth before I finally relented and drew them away, gasping for air. Exquisite. 
My dick jumped at the sight of a single strand of his pubic hair, like flickering flame. A perverse smile planted itself on my face as I gingerly pulled my clothes off. I shivered as the cold, damp fabric that had just touched his bare flesh was now touching mine. I felt his hair on my flesh, now caked in his sweat. The elastic snapped around my waist as I released, a bit tight. My breaths fell shallow, ragged as I sat there basking in his cold embrace.
Next came the tank top. I mentally hit myself for not putting it on first, as it was a significantly less erotic experience. Still, as I slipped my arms through the holes that his once filled, my dick couldn’t help but twitch in approval. 
I ran to his bed, gripped his sheets, and stifled another moan with his pillow. This man had, until today, been a full on mystery to me. And now, here I was- deep in the recesses of his apartment, nestled in the indent on his bed, buried in fabric stained with traces his scent and natural grime. I was drowning in the all aspects of his daily life. It was an intimacy with River previously unheard of and practically a miracle I hadn’t cummed yet. 
The next few moments were sluggish, mind hazy and drunk in pleasure, as I wore my jacket and pants over the River clothes I had already had on me. I mentally thanked myself for wearing tighter clothing earlier today, as I felt them compress River’s undergarments tighter on my flesh. I walked back, sitting on the dining table and pretending to work.
A few minutes later, the door clicked open and a panting River waved. He no longer had a hoodie on and left nothing to imagination. I eyed the feast before me.
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I fucking knew it. This kid was ripped. 
I salivated as my eyes followed every contour of the body that would soon be mine. His flesh was flush and glistening with sweat.
“M-must have been some workout,” I mumbled. I couldn’t stop myself from staring.
“Yeah, fucking kicked my ass today,” River said with a short laugh. My dick twitched. River never swore, never gave off a jockish vibe at work, but here he was, beaten tired and unable to contain his natural state behind a facade of politeness. 
My lip quivered when his post-workout scent wafted into my nose. It was divine. True to his name, River had an earthy, deep musk about him. A delayed, almost sour afternote followed, the kind that clings to the nose. It riled me up, knowing this offensive, raw blast of testosterone had been working next to me for the past two years, hidden by layers of work clothes and pleasantries. River was cleaned, masked and sanitized for corporate America. And now I had a private showing to it. I was feral. I wanted-no, needed to be piloting this hunk for myself.
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My trance was broken when River dropped to his couch, laughing slightly. This wasn’t his normal laugh- it dropped all pretense and I recoiled out of reflex, thinking back to that same laugh that emanated from the football jocks back in high school. 
A lazy pair of eyes drifted up to meet me. “Sorry bro, just new a few minutes.”
I gulped. This was my chance. No need for precision, no need for focus. River was vulnerable. In any other circumstance, I’d be syncing to his movements, slowly, imperceptibly altering his as he would start following mine. Then I could pull him into my trance, lead him to a safe area as I continued the process. This was different. River served himself up on a platter for me, beaten to near immobility by his workout. No way was I gonna miss this. I stripped quickly, abandoning my original plan.
Without a word, I walked closer to him, grabbing his wrists. 
“W-what are you”. In that instant, i jumped on top of him, allowing my body to follow the contours of his.
He grunted in defiance while I began to grind in pleasure. “Ughhh! Fuck bro. I can’t! I can’t wait. I can’t wait to be River!” 
The process was quick- his drenched, energy drained flesh practically grabbed at mine, drawn by my own energy into itself. It was osmosis. I moaned as I saw the process start, and River’ meaty form encapsulate my own. His arms and legs splayed as he screamed at the intrusion. “What the fuck are you-“ He grunted in pain as he felt our two forms begin to meld. I laughed a perverted laugh, eyeing how deep I was inside him. His lack of energy had been his downfall.
I licked the inside of his head, feeling him shiver and whimper at the intrusion. I whispered venomously. “What am I doing?” I thrusted myself deeper into his muscled form, “I’m becoming River. I’m gonna wear you like a fine red suit.” I felt my facial muscles match his and pulled him into a smile he did not intend to make. “You boring prude. This body was built for sex. You’re starving this poor thing. I bet it’s backed up.” I whined in half-whispers. “Let me take you for a ride.” River moaned in horror, kicking his legs into the sofa in discomfort as his muscled back began to close over me. Possessing the ginger felt like a warm, dank hug. “You feel that?” I teased, this time his voice mimicking mine. He could no longer respond as it had become my mouthpiece. Instead, his head repeatedly slammed the sofa in resistance, forced to wear a smile that was not his own. 
I laughed, feeling our combined chest heave in deep pleasure as I jammed my fingers deep into each bicep. I drilled into each arm, relishing in feeling his muscle fibers slip past me. Power. He shook as he tried in vain to resist my fingers filling into his. Putting on those vascular hands like well-fitted gloves. “Fuck yeah bro… that’s the stuff. Dominate me. Command me. Control my every move. My nerves are itching for their owner. Put this ginger meatsuit on…” I mock in his voice. Tears welled in my eyes, as I felt him continue to slam our slowly merging head into the sofa. I purse our lips before moaning further. “Wear my clothes…” My legs wove into his, twisting and binding into one. “Wear my personality…” the bottom half of our merged face laughs, while my new eyes blink away angered tears. I felt his memories begin to flow and surround mine. His rage and desperation flowed through me. The slamming slowed, coming to a complete halt as a reborn River’s eyes blinked into a lewd, sinful glee. “Wear my life.”
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I stood up, piloting my new body towards the mirror. “You’re still in there, aren’t you?” River’s outward defiance no longer showed over his perfect flesh but his mind was a raging storm. “Good.” His body lit in searing pain, sore muscle tendon and fiber forced to flex. I felt the storm calm as he was stunned. I myself winced slightly before my arousal imprinted itself through River’s face. This was my pain now. I could feel every fiber of his musculature tearing and repairing themselves. Building back stronger with the pre-workout mix he had drunken earlier. Building back with me embedded deep inside. Our leg wobbled in pain, before I slapped it back into submission, forcing it to flex. “Fuck yeah, that’s the stuff.”
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I roared and patted my new chest and abs. “YEEAAAH!” Just one last piece of me was left. An intentional dessert I had left not internally bonded with River. 
I let his normally stoic face relay the erotic pleasure I felt in wearing this flesh. I then pulled a “serious” face, bringing pained biceps into a flex. “We gotta live up to our name bro… gotta let the river flow”. A greedy tongue licked the dripping sweat hanging off ginger hairs of his armpit. I wanted to savor this. The tangy, salty nectar lingered in our shared tongue before I began to make out with my new reflection. With a grunt, I slammed River’s pelvis into the mirror, groaning as my growing hard-on began to fill into his dick. At first contact, I felt our senses mingle and the cold metal of the mirror. I grunted, trying to reign in the lust. With our linked sensitivity, I could feel my original body’s dick worming itself into my soon to be River-flavored cock. I thrusted my rod up, relishing in the soothing bare metal beneath the perverse cock and cock sleeve combination.
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I grabbed at my new rod with one hand, while the other greedily dragged across my new body, feeling every new muscle and crevice and damp piece of the hunk. River thrashed inside me, disgusted at feeling his own flesh violate itself. At watching this new carnal entity that wore his face and name.
“S-someone’s gonna find out. Someone will fix this” He threatened in my mind. 
“No bro… you’re the perfect host. No one at work knows a thing about you”. I cooed in his voice. “When we quit, when I take this thick ginger cock for a joy ride-“ tug “No one…” tug “No one will know.” I groaned as the last of his dick bonded to mine. We were complete. “I’m River now!” I shouted before devolving into whimpers of pleasure as I felt River’s warm seed stream out of me. 
River’s softening, sore wood was forced back into full mast as I eyed the full extent of my- now his- depravity. Not wanting to waste a drop, I smeared my new lotion onto my new flesh, caking in layers of his drying sweat with layers of drying semen. I could only hear gagging in my mind as River was forced to taste his own produce. It’s my body now anyways, why shouldn’t it reek of sex and his natural musk?
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some headcanons about dating timeskip!Kenma please!!
thank you Anon, I would absolutely love to share some stuff about this beautiful boy~ As always, feel free to send any other requests you got, I’ll be more than happy to share my thoughts~
status: unedited
word count: 1.4k (damn that’s the most I’ve written in a hot minute)
warnings: cursing, pure fluff, mentions of weed, crackfick a little suggestive? Idk man I’m sleepy
wrote this instead of studying for my physics final exam😋
🩵Aged Up Kenma Headcannons🩵~
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Ok first off we gotta get the basic facts down. This boy may be sweet as sugar, but he’s also one lazy mother fucker. And For the most part, I’d say that he really doesn’t change much from when he was a kid. The most I can say about him, is he definitely is a lot more confident being in front of people, ( I mean that’s kinda his job now, but bear with me) and has become less awkward around people. Very different from when he first met Hinata, he can actually hold a good and relaxed conversation now. That’s not to say he isn’t introverted anymore, (he definitely still would rather be at home) but he is more confident in himself to be able to actually be able to engage with someone. Is he gonna go out of his way to talk to someone? Hell no, but he can at least handle being approached without overthinking and triggering his anxiety.
This definitely also translates to his relationship with you. You still will have be the one who makes the first move, or at least initiating conversations.
But one things for sure, once he likes you, he loves you. Like wanting to wife you up regardless of gender. And I feel like, (later on in the relationship ofc) if you ever had kids, he would be the best most present dad ever. Like he wouldn’t be a house husband, (his YouTube gig is completely paying for your mortgage) but because the majority of what he does has him, stream for like an hour, go on call for a few minutes, or just edit his videos for a bit, he would be able to make a lot of time for any and all children he has. But that’s way later on in the relationship.
Once he’s comfortable in the relationship with you, I can definitely see him involving you in his content. Not like a whole boyfriend and girlfriend couples channel, but like a once a year “reacting to fucked up shit with my girl” type beat.
And since we’re on the subject of content, <<<<<<<<
Like imagine having the most shitty day possible and you come home to your boyfriend streaming COD or some shit. You just face-plant into the bed next to him and he snaps his head towards you.
”shit baby you good?” he asks as he raises an eyebrow, looking at you concerned as you mumble angrily. He recognizes the nonverbal gestures and just pats his lap with a quick, “c’mere baby,” and hugs you, letting you muzzle your face into his neck away from the camera, and wrapping a fluffy blanket around you, before he kisses you head and say, “gimme ten more minutes to finish this and we’ll order some takeout k?”. He gives you the most sincere and adorable smile ever sending butterflies not only to you, but all his fans watching, as he smiles and goes back to playing like nothing happened, the chat going wilddddddd. (My gay ass heart go brrrrrr)
I know for a fact that somewhere out there in haikyuu internet, there is a corny ass edit of y’all doing that shit, trust. (I need to keep my slang outta here man 😭)
ok, getting off the sidetrack, kenma is still like rlly introverted. Like his ideal date is just sitting at home watching some cheesy studio ghibi movie (His favorite is the boy and the heron, fight me on that, it’s the hill I’m willing to die on.)
If not some cute Disney movie, I also feel like he’d be into like some mystery or like not quite horoscope stuff. Like I feel like he would really be into Wednesday. If he had to watch an actual horror movie, I feel like I’d be like some of the older ones like scream or Nightmare on elm street type shit.
Speaking of scream, I feel like at least once yall would have to do the ghostface couples costume thing. Like I feel like this would just suit him so well. Idk my brains just going feral on it right now. (This was supposed to have a link attached, but it kept fuckin up and I’m to lazy to deal with it so just look it up, the couples version, it’s hot af)
aside from the specific stuff that I know people hate reading, the next thing you gotta know about this version of kenma is he is a TEASE. Like not even like an NSFW type tease. Just like a “he’s an ass but I love him.” Like when he was younger I feel like he was too nervous and flustered to point that kinda stuff out. But now? Man is a menace and a half. The type of dude to be like, “I have no idea how your ass fits in those shorts. Oh no, you’re not taken them off now~” or like the most basic annoying shit like bro fuck off and let me cuddle you in peace without being annoying. Like, he’d be like, “ damn someone’s neady today~ you tryna fuck me in front of everyone?” Like bro stfu I’m just tryna cuddle. Either that or he’d call you clingy for returning the affection he initiated. Like bro, quit being a lil bitch and let me be happy you butt muffin.
Man is putting full pussy into annoying you. He’s the type of guy to call you the most vile, disgusting, cringe ass nicknames, specifically to piss you off. You need him to take out the trash? “Yes my Pookie Wookie McSmoo Moo bear~” *gags while writing this* You’re yelling at him for some stupid thing, “I sorry my sugar booger~.”
Yeah this part is real OOC, and I was gonna write more but I physically cannot bring myself to do it so anyway, his other 3 favorite things to annoy you by calling you is, Cutesie Poopsie, Shnookums, and side piece #2. (Bro I just gave myself the ick)
Beige flags aside, he does have some green ones . For example, he’s a fabulous listener. Like, you just wanna rant and yell about your day? C’mere babes, he already got fluffy blankets, stuffies, and fluffy socks at the ready. You just wanna cry in piece? Looks like his lap has a vacant spot, he can play games and scratch your head at the same time. #bbgtreatment (regardless of gender. If tumblr has taught me anything it’s that nobody is to thug to be bbg, can I get an amen?🙏 )
The more comfortable he is with you, the more he will make jokes, but in the most monotone voice ever. Like you could be ranting to your bestie on the phone like, “I forgot my umbrella at work… yeah I’m soaked,” and you just hear him from his corner calmly shouting “that’s what she said,” not even turning away from his game, as if it was natural to him. It’s always so easy to talk with him, unless it’s about his problems, but we ain’t gon talk about that rn, I’m feeling too fluffy.
There is one thing that I absolutely have to address for this man though. The average female height in my country is 5’4. And Kenma is only 5’6. Chances are, he’s not gonna be towering over you or nothing. Especially if you a tall specimen like me. (AFAB but gender is a construct yolo on those hoes). So chances are, this mf is for a fact, stealing your clothes. No article of clothing is safe. Hoodie? Sorry boo he got cold streaming. T-shirt? None of his were clean. Miniskirt? Onlyfans- He was pulling a Gojo sorry 😋
Tbh I don’t see him ever really having a wedding, or really ever getting married. Too much social interaction and attention on him. Gross. The most I can see him doing is, one night while y’all smoking pot or something, being like “yo wanna get married?” He wants to be with you forever without the government getting involved, but hey, times are tough, and marriage helps with tax returns. So y’all just kinda go to the courthouse, get it done, then fly off to some place to elope.
in all Kenma is just a great loyal guy, who is the biggest pain in your ass, but the biggest cutie patootie this side of the nuthouse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hope y’all enjoyed, this was so fun to write, if you liked this and want more content like this make sure to request and check out my other stuff. Love y’all bastards, Thots and Enby Hots🩵
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aeomianamoure · 21 hours
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Ot5 txt trying to change their ways (smoking, drinking,staying up late,harming others or themselves etc) for reader’s parents or reader’s approval !!
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— emo txt trying to change their ways for your parents approval!
warnings <3: !cursing, use of drugs, smoking, !drinking, !sweet reader who is a bit of loser but in love, !loser and suicidal txt, mentions of smut, reader is in college, violence i guess, fluff!!
a/n <3: me personally i wouldn’t want txt to change their ways i’d accept them as they are..
to put it in simpler words; your parents absolutely hated your boyfriends guts.
they hated the loud screamo music he would blast in his car as he waited for you to come outside who the fuck is pierce the veil?
they hated your boyfriends stupid long hair, what kind of a boy grows his hair past his ears? and what’s with his unnatural hair color?
your parents hated how every time they saw your boyfriend he was either snorting coke in some abandoned lake with his friends, smoking pot with their friend groups along with drinking and again with the loud screamo emo music blooming in the air
your parents didn’t understand what you saw in him; they thought your boyfriend was a delinquent, a total scum bag and not that attractive
but then again they never brought it up to you, your parents knew you were sensitive and the over protective girlfriend and you wouldn’t hesitate to blindly defend your boyfriends actions
it also didn’t help that you were a very weird girl yourself, your boyfriend was your only friend. you spent all day in the comfort of your room, you were in college and you still collected plushies like if you were seven
although your parents loved you, they secretly wished you changed your ways and maybe that’s why you pulled your boyfriend considering he’s a loser too
hence why your parents just sigh quietly whenever they get reminded that your boyfriend is still around
another thing your parents didn’t like was how you were always up late with your boyfriend, he was a night owl meaning he never really got some shut eye and that meant you always were up with them doing lord knows what in his room
and you being very quiet and secretive with your parents you’d just giggle and say you two were watching anime together and nothing bad when they knew you were sexual active the moment the plushies on your bed were turned to their backs
although the thing that worried them the most was your boyfriends obvious signs of suicidal tendencies and your ability to not be turned off and go running for the hills was worrisome too
when your boyfriend was caught by your father in a knife fight with some guy simply because he was trying to flirt with you (although the guy swore to your boyfriend he was just getting help on an assignment) your boyfriend being your boyfriend he went a little bit overboard and didn’t believe your classmate
this resulted in an fatal knife fight, your father happened to be driving home when he’s seen your boyfriend laughing like some type of maniac on the ground covered with light cuts on his face seriously worrying your father
that following night, when your boyfriend explained why he was in that predicament and particularly begged for your father not to say anything to you about it he notices your boyfriends self harming scars that were healing around his forearms your father sighed in defeat agreeing
however there was a catch, either your boyfriend cleaned up his act or your father will tell you what really happened your boyfriends face that night
and your boyfriend and father could already imagine the amount of crying you’d do if you ever found out
weeks have passed and your boyfriend has been almost a month sober, no longer reeking of alcohol and drugs, actually fixing his sleeping schedule and getting therapy so he could learn how to cope with his tendencies of self harming himself and harming others when he was upset.
you however didn’t want your boyfriend to change, you knew the type of person he was and you loved and accepted him as he was but at the same time it felt nice knowing your boyfriend wasn’t self destructing anymore <3
a/n <3: very random but i ordered the ethereal ver of M3 and im very excited to pull emo txt 😔 hope u enjoyed im sorry if this isn’t the best im trying!
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v--143 · 1 day
Note
maybe a lee! minho and ler! chan (my fav pairing tbh😭) where chan is trying to find lee know’s spots like from least ticklish to most??
feel free to ignore this if it’s too complicated or u js don’t want to write it!!💖
> Doctors Appointment <
[Lee! Lee Know]
[Ler! Bangchan]
———————————————————————————
“There’s just no way you’re touching me with that goofy outfit on” Lee Know greeted me kindly as I walked into the patient room.
“Hello Mr. Lee Minho,” I said as I looked down at my clipboard, “today I’ve c-“
“Oh stohop Hyung” Lee Know burst out laughing and threw his head back. He was sat on a patient seat, which was almost like a massage chair. Arms sitting comfortably on the arm rests, legs laid out in front of him, and his head (currently) thrown back as he laughs at my doctor’s outfit and clipboard.
“You know I have to do this for my resume! It clearly states I must give a patient some form of a checkup or look over to be considered more highly!” I said while whining. I wasn’t lying, he was the only person to trust me enough to do this. Slightly shocking, but not unexpected. I never explained what I’d be doing, only that I needed an hour, a soundproof room, and a patient to conduct a sensitivity experiment. Lee Know’s curiosity got the best of him, so he accepted my request. Now we’re here.. and he has no idea why.
“So” Lee Know said, finally stopping his laughter, “what are you even gonna do to me doctor” he chuckled, crossing his arms.
“You’ll see” I said. His face contorted a bit as he nervously smiled. I just promised him he wouldn’t get hurt and he gave me a look.
“I mean I’d hope I wouldn’t get hurt?! But what is it that you’ll actually be-”
I cut him off as I strapped one of his wrists to the armrest.
“Wha? Hyung, what are you-”
“Hand me your other arm Lino”
“No! Why!!” He yelled through nervous laughter, “if you’re not gonna hurt me there would be no reason for me to be moving a lot!”
“Wrong” I said, followed by a buzzer sound and a click of the second wrist strap into place. He immediately began struggling against them as he realized they were much stronger than he anticipated.
“Chan.”
“Mhm?” I said as I pushed a button to make the chair lay flat.
“Chan.”
“Yesss Lee Know?” He was laid flat now.
“Chan!”
“What?” I bent down to grab the two other straps for his ankles. After some struggling and complaining from him, I got them down.
“You’d think that since you offered to help me with this, you wouldn’t be such a pain in the ass to tie down!” I said.
“I didn’t know I’d be tied down asshole!” He said, struggling against the restrains.
“You didn’t ask”
“Fuck you” he whispered (lovingly).
“What was that?” I teased as I grabbed another buckle strap beside his hip to keep him from bucking too hard. He decided to be difficult and thrusted his hips in the air, not allowing me to buckle the strap. Naturally, I began to tickle his side until he dropped and I strapped him up.
“Hyuhung you’re scaring me! Why the restrains? Why so ominous!? Why- mmhmph!” His voice turned into mumbled gibberish as I shoved a little towel in there. I did it as a joke, but Lino being Lino decided to be stubborn and keep it in his mouth by biting on it every time I tried to take it out. Fine then.
I spidered my fingers up and down his torso as I watched his face contort into betrayed shock.
“Mmhmph! MhmhmhmMM!! MPHHMnm!!”
“Thought you wanted the towel in there?” I teased.
Lee Know threw his head back to the best of his ability as his stomach kept contracting to try and make the sensations stop. I eventually did as he regained his breathing.
“We’ll mark… a 7/10 for that spot” I said as I took the towel out his mouth and threw it away.
“You.. hah.. you WHAT?”
Lino’s eyes widened as he saw me holding a clipboard that showed several different body parts labeled on it. He also saw as I marked “7/10” on the “Lower Stomach” portion of the paper.
“Oh no, no no no no”
“You agreed to thiss~”
“Yohou’re joking right?” He said without being able to hide his nervous, or, excited smile? I couldn’t tell, maybe both.
“Nope. Cat is your safe word, scream it if you need me to stop, okay?” I said.
He laid there just staring at me as I hovered over his body.
“Ooookay, let’s actually get started now”
“NO! Nonohoho plehehehease!!” Lino begged as his hands turned to fists, “Why mEHE!” He giggle-screamed.
“Well.. it’s always you teasing and messing with the members, rarely the other way around. I just had to hear your tickle laugh, and you agreed to this on your own. Hah!” I laughed.
“You don’t even know if I’m t- if I’m gonna react to that like you want me to anyway” he said, red in the face.
“We’ll see.”
“Wait please please pleasepleasepleaseplease-“
“You have your safe word for a reason, you can just say it and we can stop for a bit” I said.
He paused.
“So I can just say it whenever? Whenever I want you to stop..?” Lino asked.
“Of course. Even before we start” I said. I wasn’t lying, he could say it now, but…
I waited.
Not one word out his mouth, only redness on his cheeks.
“…Okay” I smiled.
I walked over to his torso again and, with my tight blue doctors gloves on, began to poke and prod at his right ribcage as if I were examining it.
He began to angle his body away from my hand immediately as I got closer. Need to try out ghost tickle testing one day…
“I didn’t know there can be people born with with a different number of ribcage bones! Did you, Lee Know?” I asked.
“…hello?” I asked again. He seemed a little too busy to answer me as he had his head fully turned to his right, mouth clamped shut, and eyes held shut by sheer force.
“Okay so let’s see you have one-“
“K-kahamhmnm~”
“Stop snickering, this is science. One~” I wiggled my finger in the crevice up and down, “Two~” and again, “Thr~”
“NeahAHAHAHA” he suddenly screamed, shocking me.
“So is just the third one bad? Or all??”
“SHUHUT UP! PleheHEASE NO-“
I dug my knuckles into that third crevice and vibrated them as lightly yet teasingly as I could. Lee Know writhed on the examination table as if I was truly electrocuting him, except he wasn’t only screaming.
“AHAHAHAHAH!!” His laughter that followed his screaming never failed to make me coo at him. He never openly laughed this much, it was almost refreshing to hear, not to mention his crazy desperation to get out of the restraints (even though he knows he has a safe word…).
“You’re acting like I’m actually hurting you!!” I said.
“YAHAH YOHOU MIGHT AS WEHELL BE- AHA!!!!” I latched both hands onto one of his ribcages and squeezed up and down, causing him to angle his body completely to the opposite side. His quick realization that he literally cannot go anywhere without my help made his face contort into something like nervous childish excitement.
I decided to move on after marking ribcages a whopping 9. I couldn’t tire him out too much in one sitting, but I did have to get at least one more body part down.
“Okay.. I’ll let you pick” I said to him.
“Yhaha..” he was still out of breath. Seeing as he has his eyes shut and his chest heaving hard, yet still holds a smile… I think he’s fine.
“Awwwwweeee you’re soooo not the second oldest when you laugh”
“Whahat’s that supposed to mean!! I’m literally beheing held against my wihihihill!!!” Lino complained.
I just rolled my eyes. “You have two options. One, neck. Two, underar-“
“NECK. NECK PLEHEASE” he yelled at me in desperation. While he may keep his guard up often, it’s well known he’s way too ticklish under his arms for him to survive more than 10 seconds there.
“Hmm I guess since you want me to sooo badly” I teased as I began to walk around the chair/table he laid down on.
“This is so stupid this is soho so stupid I’m such an idiot why why why” Lino whispered (dramatically) as he shut his eyes and mouth tightly.
“Oh you’re gonna be fine calm down” I said as I got out some of those fluffy pipe cleaners from a nearby cabinet, but not before putting a blindfold over his eyes.
“Is this necessary” Lino complained.
“It says that if the patient does not see the stimulator coming, then it’ll make it more sensitive! I guess we’ll see how you react” I said.
He clamped his mouth again as it gradually grew into a smile.
I took one pipe cleaner in each hand and began to slowly trail it along the sides of his neck. He scrunched up a lot very fast, but wasn’t making any audible noise yet.
“Lots of movement… little sound… okay, how about this?”
I began to poke and graze the inside and outside of his ears with them.
“Eeaaahah!” Lino squealed high and long as I did this. His legs also began to do little kicks at the end of the chair.
“Awwww!!” It was one of the cutest things I’ve seen.
“Stohop! Eeeaahaheha!!” He couldn’t help but scrunch up even more as I began to trail my fingers too. He never got to a point of physical desperation or harsh bucking, but he did move his head violently at times because the sensations were so light. Luckily I had given him soft restraints and a comfortable chair to do this on, or else his neck would be done for.
“Ple.. plehehease.!!!” Lino begged as I tickled his nape and the spot where his neck and shoulder meet, “noahaheheAHAHA!!” The volume of his laughter raised an octave as I got faster and faster, eventually dropping to silent once the light teasing had been too much.
“Okay okay I’m done for now.”
“Geahah..~”
I began to put my things away as Lee Know stayed restrained on the chair/table, not seeming to care too much that he couldn’t move now. He stared at the ceiling with a big smile on his blushing face.
“You didn’t even use your safeword, idiot” I said (lovingly of course), “did you even remember it?!”
He smiled at me.
“Cat”
———————————————————————————
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mickittotheman · 2 days
Note
Maybe #6 ...on a falling tear.
But maybe smut 😅
Ahem. Um. Yes.
Putting this under a read more cut for obvious reasons 😶
6. ...on a falling tear (but definitely smut)
It’s Ian’s day off, the house is empty, the vibrating anal beads they splurged on finally arrived in the mail, and they're having a great time.
It’s obvious, from the way Ian is grinning wide, eyes sparkling, laughter huffing from his lungs, that he’s enjoying this. 
Mickey’s enjoying it too, of course. It’s just that he expresses joy a bit differently than most people. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck you, fuck you, Ian, gonna fucking kill you, fuck.”
Ian laughs again, and his warm breath puffing against Mickey’s spit soaked nipple gets an interesting response, so he follows it up by pursing his lips and blowing out a long, cool stream of air.
“Fuck. Ian,” Mickey whines, voice keening and plaintive once more. 
It’s one of the many, many things Ian loves about his husband: the way his mood flips on a dime even during sex, especially during sex, how he’ll go from growling threats to pathetic pleading to blabbering praises and back again.
“So good, it’s so good, Ian, please, love you, you're so good.”
“Yeah? You like this, baby?” Ian pulls back to get a better view of Mickey’s face. It's quite the sight to behold: skin flushed and brows furrowed and mouth swollen and slick, plush lower lip bitten hard by one sharp little canine tooth. 
Mickey tips his head back against the pillow. Shakes it frantically. “No, I don’t fucking like this, I hate this, fuck, I hate you.”
“Oh? You don’t like this?” Ian hums. Rubs one big hand soothingly up and down Mickey’s heaving chest. “Hm. Maybe we oughta try a different setting, then.”
“Wait–”
Mickey’s eyes fly open just in time to see Ian grin as he presses the button on the remote.
“Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck, Ian, Ian, please–”
“Please what? Put it higher?”
Ian presses another button without waiting for an answer. Watches in awe as Mickey’s back arches, as his muscles tense, limbs straining against the restraints, as his cock jerks untouched against his stomach, come dribbling down to join the other spatters in varying states of drying.
Ian clicks the remote again. Drops the strength to the lowest setting, switches the pulse pattern to something steady and predictable.
Mickey sobs, just once, and Ian’s grin widens. 
When Mickey cries during sex, that means Ian is doing his job really, really well. 
It’d freaked him out the first time. Made him panic. Made him think he’d hurt Mickey in a way he hadn’t intended to.
But that was years ago.
Nowadays, making Mickey cry is one of Ian’s favorite activities.
“So good, baby,” he gushes, leaning in to kiss Mickey’s forehead. “You’re doing so good. You were fucking made for this, Mickey. Made to be tied up and pleasured and used all day long.”
Ian can physically feel Mickey’s skin heat up against his lips. Can feel him shudder and shake. Can feel him nod, just a tiny, jerky little motion. 
Ian pulls back again, wanting to drink in the sight of him, wanting to see it forever and ever and ever. “Fuck, baby. I should take a fucking picture. Actually, I should just keep you like this 24/7.”
Mickey’s breath stutters, his eyes fluttering open to peer up at Ian blearily, the tiniest little noise clawing from his throat. 
Ian smiles softly at him. Brings a hand up to cup his face and swipe at his tears with his thumb. “You want that, baby? Yeah. Maybe you’re right about not needing a job. Maybe I should just keep you tied up like this all day instead, ready for me to use whenever I want. Would be a great stress relief, after a long day of work. ‘Course, some days I’d be too tired to fuck you, but that’s okay. I can just leave you like this, right?”
Mickey whines in protest. Shakes his head. 
“Shh, it’s okay, Mick. I’m just teasing,” he soothes, ducking down again to kiss the fresh tear rolling down Mickey’s cheek. “I’d never be able to leave you completely untouched. I’d have to do something. Something like this, maybe.”
He clicks the remote again, ramping the vibrations back up to level five, switching the pattern to an unyielding bzzzzzzzzzz.
“Fuck!”
Ian laughs. Palms at his own dick, just to take a bit of the pressure off. “We’re almost done, babe. Promise.”
“Yeah?” Mickey pants, melting a bit in relief even as his wrists flex against the leather cuffs fruitlessly.
“Ian! Fuck, fuck you, please please please, I need you, I love you, Ian–”
“Yeah,” Ian assures him. “Just gonna make you come one more time with these in.” He pauses. Cocks his head. “Well, and then of course I’ll have to pull these out of you, one by one, and fuck knows how many times you’ll come during that. Plus, I’m obviously going to have to fuck you at least once. Maybe twice. I’m feeling pretty worked up, y’know?”
This time, Mickey comes with a high pitched whine and a steady stream of tears.
Oh yeah. They are definitely having fun.
send me a number~
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britcision · 2 days
Text
Not gonna lie, we’ve been watching YuYu Hakusho alongside the release of Delicious In Dungeon and uh
It’s been illuminating
Like on the one hand hoooooooboy you can taste the 90s animation techniques (and the Netflix version is somehow more strobey and seizure bait, and they’ve fucked random chunks of audio?? I have the dvds I can prove they’ve fucked around)
On the other hand… yeah, it really, really highlights what people have already been talking about with the Delicious In Dungeon - the pacing issues, especially with going shot for shot from the manga instead of embracing their own medium
Cuz I will stand by YuYu Hakusho being the best anime version of a manga I’ve ever seen. It’s true to the manga, but keeps up the pacing and fleshes things out by leaning more into the side characters, and particularly our audience surrogates, Koenma and George
The fights all pace well because we cut to the people watching them, so it’s not just repetitive punch punch punch shots (although we do get those)
Whereas this week’s episode of DunMeshi in particular…. Really suffered from skewed pacing on that fight
They had way too much time just standing around talking, both with the harpies and in between Falin’s attacks, and I’d bet even an anime-only fan could pick out which shots were literal panels in the anime because nothing moved to flow between them
Those shots of the separated groups especially; this is anime, not manga. Those people could have been moving, interacting, doing things instead of panning over a still
I get that it takes more time and money but this was a really significant fight and it does make me worry a little for season 2, because the red dragon fight also had some pacing problems (although to a much lesser degree) and season 2 is when the combat pops off
I really do appreciate them wanting to do a faithful interpretation of the manga and sticking close to Ryoko Kui’s vision, but anime is its own medium and by sticking too closely they’re not taking full advantage of that medium
You have more time to fill in an animated episode vs a manga chapter because your characters literally move and flow, and three panels of action happen in a second
They’ve been folding two or three chapters into each episode, but this week’s especially (ep 17) really played too close to that two chapter timeline, instead of taking out the important story beats and the time to fill and working out how to pace around that instead
(Funnily enough though, they actually nailed the exact same kinda pacing issue in the exact same episode for the Laios and Shuro fight; that one was fucking great, it was clear that action was ongoing even while we focused on other people, and it had good weight and emphasis despite being largely offscreen, just like the harpy fight should have been
I. Guess. They coulda put more work into that than the Falin fight? Cuz it’s a huge character moment but for fuck’s sake Chimera!Falin SHOULD be the bigger one! We the audience got hints but this was the REVEAL)
Honestly just… the 1000% disinterest in the harpy fight was jarring, and it leading immediately into the Falin fight that was basically stop motion without the time lapse didn’t help
Cutting to Marcille and Shuro on the shirt tear was fucking great though, chef’s kiss, someone out there is still watching over us, I just hope they work out a happy medium soon
I get that there’s lots of iconic and fantastic panels in the manga, I made a complete summary of every single chapter, but the anime shouldn’t be showing them as stills
The characters should be moving in between them, not snapping from one face to the next like a slide show
In a perfect world I’d also love some more little character asides and things a la YYH, but there just isn’t the same easy audience characters to cut to
But but but
Thistle reacting a la Koenma to some snippets of the bullshit in his dungeon would give me fucking LIFE he can’t be watching all the time for obvious plot reasons but I want him to find a veggie golem
I want him to see the kraken and find some leftovers and be searching for Delgal and plotting their dinner and wondering why he can smell something delicious and what is it and can he make that
Move the background stuff that got cut from the Tances’ episodes, cut to Namari and the twins hanging out and talking about leg guards, there’s SO MUCH supplemental material
It might be less one for one to the manga but it’d stop the weird dragging out and give us something more, something extra to appreciate the anime on its own merits
It’s nice to have an anime experience that is very close to reading the manga, but it’s something really special to have the anime shine and add to the experience on its own
Anyway next week is the shapeshifter and I’m so hype for that and wondering if they are gonna include just a smidge of meta knowledge since Kui did tell us whose impersonations are whose 👀
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hunniebunniebear · 3 days
Text
The Magnus Protocol!!!
Twelth ep review!!
RIHJT sorry this took a bajillion hears to do sometimes i just forget how the fuck to write.
I actually really struggled to hear what they were sayin at the beginning this time, i had to look at the transcripts but god Sams such a dork. I’m glad That jealousy arc I was worried about doesn’t seem as forefront as I thought it’d be.
Holy shirtballs was I not expecting todays case. I’m not certain I like the pacing of the the mister bonzo case being so soon after we were told to watch out for it but eh minor quibbles. I was NOT expecting mister blobby at the strip club. Fr tho the setting was a great choice. If I were more pretentious (read: smart) I’d say something intelligent about how the nature of the kids entertianmwnt mascot being perverse now. Also the visual of him pulling one these 🤫 is incredible. I was not expecting the like.. in house hitman of the oiar to be such a messy eater if that makes sense. Not subtle in the slightest and I bet he dunt do any clean up.
Gwens reaction to the case is brilliant. I don’t think she realised just how fucked up her job is and I’m pretty damn sure alice has been known. If I wanted to go off on a little theory I’d say alice wasn’t lying when she said the government was in on this supernatural shit. Its giving like government cover up bullshit. Also dyhard fans im seeing the light now.
NEXT | PREV
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honeybcj · 2 days
Note
I think James should give some attention to Regulus too. Can you write some hcs of just Jegulus?
sure nonnie <3 i’d love to. jeggy does have my heart very much, and regulus deserves attention as well! i’ll give some sfw & nsfw ones.
— on the outside, we see that regulus is the very formal, stoic kind of person whereas james is the one always making jokes and filling the room with chatter and laughter, but i like to think that behind closed doors these two are complete opposites. with regulus, james can be quiet. he doesn’t have to put on a show for others because he knows reg accepts him for who he is. and vice versa where regulus feels like he can chat away for hours to james, and james will never tell him to stop talking. he’ll even nudge regulus gently or press a kiss to his temple and encourage him to keep going if reg starts to get particularly shy about his rants.
— despite james’ natural romancing and wooing personality, he (and reg) both like to keep most of their date nights at home. that’s not to say that they don’t like going out because they do. but when they go out, it’s like a big ordeal because james can and will wine and dine regulus to the fullest extent. i’m convinced their first date was at a really fancy restaurant because james wanted to impress reg so bad, and then they end up laughing when they leave because it was soooo not their scene. they end up on james couch, reg’s legs in james’ lap while eating ice cream from the tub.
— let’s be real, james is a little Arrogant and regulus is never afraid to call james out, he’s even encouraged to do so. same in the sense when reg gets a little snarky with his tone because he has a Bone to pick with every person to ever exist for god knows what reason.
— as much as i adore the whole grumpy/sunshine dynamic, regulus isn’t always grumpy or mean to james. of course, the teasing is always there, but james and reg have a very healthy relationship, even if they had to work really hard for it. that said, regulus is actually very far from grumpy, and not a whole lot actually disappoints him. he thoroughly enjoys giving james pet names and watching James’ cheeks go all ruddy when he’s feel sentimental.
— one thing is for sure is that they have vastly different tastes in music, so they could be cleaning the house one day, music playing in the background, and it would go from tchaikovsky to the backstreet boys to yoke lore to lil uzi vert sorry i don’t make the rules here
— Very adventurous in the bedroom. as in they are open to trying anything to other wants to for the most part. shibari is just so jeggy to me. i adore the thought of reg tying james up and leaving him to his own devices while he leaves the room, just to get james worked up into a frenzy
— actually big exhibitionists/lovers of (semi)public sex and not necessarily by choice. they get Horny all. the. time. and unfortunately that means they have to do something about it, no matter where they are. so be it, reg looked hot in those pants he just tried on, so of course james is going to fuck him in the changing rooms, you gotta do what you gotta do
— i talk about this one frequently, and i know it’s a popular one, but james is the king of giving head. simple as that. but let’s also remind ourselves that reg ALSO loves giving head, like he’s very greedy about it. loves it when his eyes get all watery and he’s crying and lowkey i think about james licking away the tears afterwards because it turns him on more than it should
— these horny fuckers fuck in the shower more than any other relationship i’ve ever heard of. it’s a problem only because they’re trying to get ready for the day or night or whatever and they get soooo handsy, so what else are they supposed to do
(this is getting a lot longer than i anticipated, so if you would like any more hcs, let me know, and i might do a part 2!)
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comicwritesstuff · 3 days
Note
okay this is so incredibly specific so please feel free to ignore BUT i’ve been wanting to read a fic for ages where the reader is Chase’s childhood best friend from Australia and she moves to New Jersey for a fresh start. She’s staying with Chase while she gets settled, and one day she comes to visit him at lunch at the hospital, where she ends up meeting House and he’s… intrigued by her 👀 either romantic or smut would be so very cool :^D <33 💐
YES. I LOVE THIS PROMPT IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT IM FINISHED!!!
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Gregory House x Fem!Chases bsf!Reader
Warnings: None really, just cussing and tooth rotting fluff >:) 3k+ words.
Chase's POV: 
“Well I was just wondering if we could go out sometime, I think you're really-” My attention shifted as y/n's call lit up my phone, interrupting the conversation. It was a more pressing matter than pursuing a one-night stand.
“Excuse me for a moment.” I say walking away, the woman having an annoyed look on her face. 
I answer the phone.
“Hello, y/n? Whats up” 
“Chase! Long time no talk haha.”
“You called me yesterday.”
“Learn to take a joke, anyways, I have some exciting news for you.”
“I’m moving to New Jersey!!” 
“Wait what? Really?”
“Yeah, I kinda forgot to tell you and i'm actually at the airport right now, so I hope you aren't busy tomorrow so you can pick me up.”
“Wow, um alright, yeah I can pick you up, do you have a place to stay?"
“Um…no…” I sigh, “Just stay at mine for now.”
“Don't even with the sigh i’ve known you my whole life you can put the nightly hookups on hold for your best friend.” 
I smirk and shake my head, “Yeah yeah, I’ll see ya tomorrow y/n” 
Y/N’s POV:
I smile as I hang up with Chase, grabbing my luggage and pulling it along the airport. Ahh yes, crying babies, rushed parents, annoying couples and that one insanely attractive person you see for a split second, I love the airport. 
Glancing at my ticket I realize I might have to hurry to make it to the gate, speed walking I see a text from chase, “Have a safe flight.” Let's hope so. 
Time skip (to lazy to write all the details about fucking airports)
Relaxing on a 21-hour flight proved challenging, especially with a toddler nearby. It was unclear whether the toddler would be a source of annoyance or just be tolerable. The flight just started. So to entertain myself I decide to do some digging about Chase's job, he brags about it all the time and the infamous Dr Gregory House. To be honest I thought Chase was gay for a little while with how much he talks about him. Still speculating. 
The plane lifts off and I start my look, at first just looking up Gregory House, a surprising amount of things show up. An article titled, “Gregory House, Talented Doctor? Or a lying Narcissist?” Oh well that's a good first impression.   
Scrolling down I see another article, “The world's greatest doctor, and his deepest secrets” 
Now that's enticing. I click on it only to find out his deepest secrets, including using 3 in one shampoo and how his leg got hurt. I guess people hardly know anything about him. I click on the photos of him, there's only a couple, most of them blurry but to be honest he's pretty good looking from the photos I can see. I’d honestly be gay for him if I was Chase. 
The toddler next to me starts giggling, I glance at her and notice her staring at a picture of House. She's kicking her feet too. That's so relatable. 
For the rest of the flight I find some stuff about this guy named Taub, who somehow also figured out that he cheated on his wife which is why he had to quit. How did I find that out? I took a coding class in 8th grade. (I got lucky) 
Lisa Cuddy the Dean of Medicine, unfortunately only good stuff about her, boring. 
Remy Hadley, oddly, can't find anything on her. 
Eric Foreman, his brothers in jail, fun. 
And the others are just as boring. For the remainder of the flight, the toddler proved surprisingly chill. I passed the time by binge-watching random movies I had downloaded earlier
*Another time skip to plane landing* 
Finally, 21 hours on a fucking plane is horrible. 
I check my phone after I take it off airplane mode, seeing a text from chase a couple minutes ago. 
“I’m at the airport, is your flight done?”
“Yep, wya.”
“I’m parked in the front.”
“That's specific” 
“There's no other front dumbass”
I roll my eyes at his text, and get off the plane as soon as I can. I walk out and see Chase standing outside his car waiting for me. His eyes light up as he spots me, and a grin spreads across his face. Unable to resist, I rush forward and envelop him in a bear hug.
“Man you’re a lot uglier in person” 
I say jokingly, smirking.
“Oh shut up”  
We climbed into his car, and he drove us back to his apartment. When we arrive he helps get my crap into the house, before he gets a call saying he had to head to work. 
Eventually a week or two passes, I've gotten more comfortable in his apartment, applied for a bunch of jobs, and looked for places to stay so I’m not invading his “man” space anymore. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of options, and no jobs have replied to my applications, which is weird since im overqualified, it's almost like they aren’t even getting my applications in the first place. 
I’m doing the dishes when I get a text from Chase.
“Hey, I left my wallet on the counter, so I don’t have money for food, could ya bring it for me?” 
“Nah”
“See you soon”
I breathe out a laugh and grab his wallet, putting a coat on then driving to the hospital. 
When I get there I walk in, looking around before I call Chase, “Where do I go this place is huge” I can hear talking in the background, actually more like arguing. “Uhm just wait at the entrance i’ll be right there.” He says in a whisper.
He hangs up so I just stand there awkwardly waiting, that was a weird ass phone call. To be fair Chase is a weird ass guy with weird ass coworkers so what do I expect at this point. 
Before I see Chase I see Dr Gregory House, limping quickly towards me. And damn he’s even hotter in person than the pictures I saw of him. 
“Hey, no time to explain, you need to come with me.” He grabs my arm dragging me into the elevator. Before it closes I see Chase come out of the stairway, he sprints towards the elevator but it closes. I hear him trying to say something, but it's muffled and I can’t understand it. Wait why the fuck did I even follow House? 
“You're real compliant, you’d make a great hooker.” 
I turn around and side eye him.
“Thanks, so would you.” I say giving a fake smile. 
“Speaking of compliant, why did you drag me away from Chase? What's going on?’’
“I made a bet with Chase.”
“That's really specific and helpful thanks” 
“Oh yeah no problem” 
Sarcastic asshole. 
“If you don’t tell me, I'll stop following you and go with Chase.” 
He rolls his eyes.
“Fine, Mom! The bet is that I can convince you to work as my assistant here.”
“Really? That's it? I need a job. Why would Chase even bet against that?” 
“He thinks you’ll fall in love with me so he doesn’t want that to happen, in his words, “She has a thing for homeless looking, narcissistic assholes with beards.” So he’s trying to prevent it, and he’s sure he can.”  
Damn- I feel so called out. I stay silent before nodding.
“Well to be honest he isn’t wrong.” 
I see House smirk before we get out of the elevator, he hobbles and leads me to his office, locking the door then having me sit down. 
As I sit down in front of his desk, he grabs a ball and starts throwing it against the wall, while sitting down. 
“So are you gonna interview me or something?” 
“Yeah, I’m just waiting for Chase to get back up here so he can watch me interview you.” 
He really is an asshole…it's kinda hot though. 
“Fair enough.” 
We wait a bit before Chase comes jogging up to the door, out of breath, he’s clearly been running plenty. He starts banging on the glass door that House previously locked.
“House!! Y/N! Let me in! This isn’t fair!” He exclaims, House is grinning when he leans over his desk, crossing his arms.
“Okay! Let’s start this interview now.” 
“Y/n! You traitor!” 
Did I abandon my childhood best friend for some disabled doctor? No, I did it for the job. At least that's what I'm telling myself.   
Turning my attention back to House instead of the Australian cry baby outside the door, he asks me, “First question, do you want the job of being my assistant?” 
“Obviously”
“Great! You have the job!” 
I mean, easy enough. I smile and shake my head. This hospital really has some unique people. 
House shakes my hand, grinning as Chase is sitting on the floor defeated outside. 
As the days turned into weeks at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, I got to know everyone. Cuddy had to actually approve of me working as House’s assistant first, but once she saw a…normal enough individual, she welcomed me into the environment.
Getting to know House better, I found myself drawn to him in ways I hadn’t really expected. The bet between House and Chase, Chase thinking I would fall for House, I took it as a joke, until that joke turned more into reality. 
Despite House being a narcissistic piece of shit, there were small moments that I saw, or shared with him that made me fall for him. Ones where he seemed happy, or just easy to be around. At work he's serious but when Wilson dragged him out to bars, or other social environments, he could actually be fun. And though him being a dick is undeniably attractive sometimes, when he was…”himself” that's how I began to fall for him.  
One day, after an especially tough day for the team, and being forced to go break into houses and get coffee and food, I found myself alone with House in his office. The rest of the team had left, leaving us in a rare moment alone with each other. As I glanced up from the medical chart of the most recent patient, I caught House’s gaze lingering on me, his blue eyes intense and unreadable. 
“Something on your mind, House?” I asked, attempting to break the awkward silence between us. 
He smirked, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease, “Oh just wondering why a catch like yourself doesn’t have a boyfriend, or husband?” He responds, his tone laced with flirtatiousness.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at his response, a faint blush on my cheeks. House and I had gained an uncanny camaraderie, made from me running around doing everyone's paperwork, being the designated “you get to tell patients they are dying!!” person. And as you’d expect people didn’t respect me a lot, but if someone was blatantly mean to me, House would step in and destroy their self esteem in a second and walk away like it meant nothing. That's another thing that I think made me fall for him. 
“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself that a lot too.” I smile, placing the medical chart on his desk. 
“Do you want a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, or a pet or something.” He quips, his eyes looking like they are reading me, studying my every movement and reaction to what he’s saying, it's flattering and uncomfortable at the same time. 
“A boyfriend would be nice.” I say reassuringly, a laugh escaping me as I shake my head in amusement.
“Alright let's say *hypothetically* I asked you out. *hypothetically* what would your response be?” 
Raising an eyebrow I ask, “Are you trying to go on a date with me?”
“I said hypothetically, now answer the question.” 
A smirk plays on my lips as I roll my eyes in a mock annoyance. 
“Well.” I say, “Hypothetically, I would say yes.” 
“Great, meet me for dinner at (some random fancy place idk u make up a name i'm too lazy to), wear something cute.” 
 With that, he sauntered out of the office, leaving me to think about what just happened. Glancing at the clock, I realized I had just enough time to get ready for our “hypothetical date.” 
The anticipation bubbled within me, standing outside (IDK A RESTAURANT NAME IT), waiting for House to arrive. My heart raced with nervous excitement, unsure what to expect from a…unique…guy like House. I had used all the time I had to work on my outfit, settling for a simple dress (or suit, or just anything you're comfy in :) ). 
As I scanned the busy street, searching for any sign of House, I heard the obnoxiously loud sound of a motorcycle approaching. House rode in, parking his bike before getting off and walking (limping) towards me. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him, he looked impossibly handsome, in a tailored suit that made his rugged charm come out, good god he looked fine. 
“Y/n,” he greeted with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine affection. “That outfit makes your ass look nice.” 
I scoff playfully, hitting his arm. “So much for acting like a gentleman, at least you look like one.” 
He chuckled, offering me his arm in a more gentlemanly gesture. “Yeah yeah, shall we?” 
With a nod, I looped my arm through his, savoring the warmth of his touch as we mad our way into the restaurant. The ambiance was elegant and inviting, with a soft candlelight casting a warm glow over the decor. 
As we were seated at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement in my chest. I’m finally going out with House, damn Chase was totally right. 
Throughout the evening, our conversation flowed surprisingly easily between us. I had half expected him to be rude or stuck up, but he seemed actually interested in me, in my life. He was asking questions, laughing and joking with me. Sharing stories of his own, and treating me like an actual human. Honestly it was scaring me a bit, but it was making me fall harder for him. 
House raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. ‘So, tell my Y/N. What’s the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?” 
I laughed, shaking my head as I thought about the memory. “Well, there was this one time in college-” 
“Let me guess,” House interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips. “It involved copious amounts of alcohol and very questionable decisions?” 
I chuckle and nod in agreement. “You could say that. Long story short, I ended up streaking through the campus fountain at three in the morning. I'm pretty sure Chase might still have a video of it still.”
House raises an eyebrow, an amused laugh coming from him. “I wish I could say I was surprised, oh and also. I am finding that video.” He states, with a determined and mischievous grin. 
The dinner continues and our connection just seems to get stronger, fueled by shared laughter, stories of shit Wilson and him did in college, things Chase and I did in highschool. With each passing moment, I found myself more and more under House’s spell, captivated by the complexity of himself, his character. His gaze, laughter, even his personality. Maybe it was the wine or something, but House was being nice, he had charisma, and was being attractive in general.  
I don’t even realize that we’ve spent almost three hours in the restaurant just talking. I check my phone seeing that it's 9:30 already. We had got and paid the check awhile ago, but had stayed to talk longer. The restaurant closes at 10, and I felt a sudden pang of disappointment that our date was close to being over with. I didn’t want it to end, I was savoring this moment I was having, this seemingly perfect night. 
When the waiter arrived to take our dessert order, I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that the evening was drawing to a close. I wasn't ready for it to end—I wanted to savor every moment, to prolong the magic of our time together for as long as possible.
House notices my look of disappointment, “I’m aware how amazing I am, but if its up to me, this won’t be our last date.” 
A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, my cheeks heating up as I blush. The butterflies in my stomach going absolutely insane. 
So with a quick glance around the restaurant, I rose from my seat, House grabbed my hand as he led me towards the exit. 
Stepping out into the cool night air, I felt a sense of happiness coursing through me. This was it, the beginning of a new relationship, a surprisingly healthy one so far. 
As House’s hand tightened around mine, his touch sent sparks of electricity coursing through my veins. I knew now that maybe Chase knows me better than I know myself, in all fairness he predicted this, but right now I wasn’t afraid to admit this, to admit the undeniable attraction that I had towards Dr Gregory House. 
His touch leaves mine, his hand pulling as we stand in front of the restaurant, close to each other, staring in each other's eyes. I glance at his lips before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, not sure if he expected it, but I pull back.
“Goodnight House. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that I walk away, to my car. When I get in my car, I look in the mirror, seeing House standing there with a lovestruck grin, one a child would have over some school crush. But it was cute, he was cute. And this was just the beginning of an annoyingly predicated relationship with a Vicodin addicted, asshole, who I suspect has a soft spot for me.
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ickypuppi3 · 2 years
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there’s something so freeing to me about the idea of billy, steve, heather and robin just fucking off out of hawkins and living in a shitty little apartment together in a city somewhere
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brother-emperors · 7 months
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like, two years ago I was doing some writing for a comic where Lorenzo de’ Medici and Francesco de’ Pazzi would’ve had a 1959 Ben Hur-Messala lovers turned bitter enemies sort of dynamic, but the Medici Family-Roman Imperialism comparatives I was working into the subtext were a lot to unpack for a story that started because I think the Medici show sucks
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gregmarriage · 1 month
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i may be lame as fuck, permanently single, celibate, with no prospects, but fuck it, i’m eating garlic crackers and watching 90’s japanese women’s wrestling
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parkercore-69 · 4 months
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me offhandedly telling a friend that i’d really like to get a few of the saw dvds from cex to add to my dvd collection but being unable to due to complications with being a minor who can’t by 18s alone, to which she responded “yeah but is it really a matter of life or death??” while i sat mouth agape gawking at the audacity she had to say such a thing.
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i’m sexualizing those men just for u mikalawlight enjoyers
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shegetsburned · 2 months
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i’d be all over this loser if he didn’t have that weird feline part.
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