#I’m cooked my friends

[frescoisnotinthemilitary]

Not sure if this is how I send you asks but could you do a König x male baker reader? Like a fluff story? Like at some point Konig realizes he's in love with the sweet baker? If not that's fine too 🫶🏾🫶🏾 please?

Sweet Tooth

König x Male!Baker!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, and König being clueless about his feelings (Tags apply differently. Jokes about suicide, meant to be read with a light heart)

Pronouns for reader: you, he/him, reader is implied male

A/N: I really appreciate this opportunity to write for a character I haven't really written for or considered writing for in the past. I’ve also never written for a male reader before, so thanks so much for this ask! I’m also a firm believer that König drinks an unhealthy amount of hot chocolate. We’re talking 4+ cups on a normal day. I was given the idea and it kind of spiraled. He’s also shy and very pookie-coded here, I think.  Let me know if any of the German is wrong, I relied heavily on Google Translate for this. Also if I missed anything. I’ve read this so many times that the words are melting together and I just needed to post it. Sorry this took so long, I’ve been sick and it’s kicked my ass.

It was a bit of a shock, the first time he walked into the bakery. At almost seven feet tall, how could he not be a shock? 

Ding. The soft tinkle of the bell above the door alerts you to the presence of the morning’s first customer. You glance up, and the smile drops from your face, then immediately reappears. 

“Good morning! Take your time with the menu, and let me know when you’re ready to order.” Your voice cuts through the silence. “I’m going to go take some muffins from the oven, but I'll be back soon. Let me know when you're ready, alright?”

“Ja.” A man’s deep rumble sounded from under his dark veil. You notice his head tip back up toward the chalkboard menu as you slip through the swinging doors to the kitchen. 

When you return, holding a tray of still-warm muffins, he looks to you. “Bitte, ah, please, may I order?”

“Mhm,” you hum in response, your chest buzzing with the vibrato. “What would you like?” The air is filled for a moment with the quiet sound of each muffin tapping onto the glass display plate. 

“May I have a- a blueberry scone, and a medium, ah, large, hot chocolate, please?” He asks. You notice him picking at his gloves and shrinking down as if trying to appear smaller than he is. 

Maybe he’s shy. The thought makes you smile inwardly. “Yup. I’ll get those for you. Sorry for the wait, it’s just me this morning.” 

“Die Stille [hush], it is- do not worry. It is no problem.” 

Oh my god, he really is shy. 

“For here, or to go?” 

“To go. Danke.”

Several minutes later, you raise a hand in a slight wave as he leaves, paper bag and steaming cup clutched in one gargantuan mitt. “Have a good day.”

“Ja. You as well,” he replies. 

It becomes routine, after a while. At first, it was about once a week. Then, it was a few times. Now, Monday through Saturday, he’s the first customer in the bakery, often causing the bell to ring as soon as you flip the sign. 

It’s a typical Tuesday morning, about a month after he started coming in. You’ve already opened the door, he’s received his usual order, and you’re curious. “What’s your name?” You ask, the urge to inquire obscuring any boundaries you might cross. 

He considers lying for a moment, but you’ve been kinder than most. Always assisting him whenever you could, treating him like a human, not like an apathetic war machine. 

“König,” he answers. 

“König,” you repeat. “Isn’t that German for ‘king’? Are you German?” You can’t keep the questions in. They fall from your lips before you recognize that what you’ve asked is invasive. He’s a customer. He’s here to get cocoa and a scone, not be bombarded by questions he might not even want to answer. 

But the man seems unfazed. “Ja, it is German. However, I am from Austria, not Germany.” 

Thank god for those Duolingo lessons, you think. 

“Oh. I’m sorry for all the questions so suddenly, but what do you do for work? Do you work around here?” The embarrassment you felt at the barrage of questions leaving your lips ebbs, and you feel more comfortable asking them now. 

“Ah, well,” he hesitated. “I am a Marine. I am a colonel. I work on the KorTac base, just outside of the city.” He checked his watch, then looked back up to you. “I’m sorry. I have to go, now. It was good speaking with you. Ah, goodbye.” 

It seems rushed, but you think little of it. He’s just shy. 

“Oh, yeah. Of course. See you tomorrow.” 

“Ja, I will be here.”

Tomorrow comes and goes. As does the next day. And the next, and so on. You don’t ask any more questions, as he seemed to leave hastily the last time. 

But he wishes you would. Why did I not ask one of him? I want to know more about the man, the little voice in the back of his head tells him. 

Weeks pass. He returns again. And you’re feeling brave.  

“König?” Your voice accompanies the sound of the paper bag as he grabs the top. “Would you, uh…” You trail off. 

“Would I what, der Nachtisch [sweets, dessert]?” 

“Would…” You had a hard time getting the words out. Your palms begin to sweat against the counter, and everything seems to be amplified tenfold. “Would you like to get dinner sometime?” You blurt. 

König is silent for a moment. Then, “Dinner?”

“Uh- yeah. With me.” You wish you could see under the veil, as he doesn’t answer. It seems like hours before König’s head tilts back upward to you. 

A small smile grows on his face, not that you can see it. He finally speaks, and his voice is soft. “Ja. I would like that, very much. Thank you.”

He doesn’t understand why his neck feels hot. His ears. His cheeks. His face is on fire and he doesn’t know why. 

You breathe a sigh of relief. He didn’t reject me. He wants to go to dinner. 

Shit. He wants to go to dinner.

“Cool, cool. What, uh, what kind of food do you like?” You ask casually, as if talking about the weather. As if you hadn’t just asked Colonel Colossus to grab a whole ass meal with you. 

He thinks for a moment before responding. “I quite enjoy anything. I am in favor of the foods of my Austrian background, though I am sure you are much more accustomed to those of your home. The choice is yours, mein Täubchen [my dove].” 

“Uh, well, it’s not Austrian, but there’s a little German restaurant a few blocks from here.”

Why did he ask me to choose? “If that’s okay.” 

König smiles, though his glowing cheeks remain obscured by the veil. “That sounds perfect, Mein Schatz [my dear].”

Your face lights up. “Great. When are you free?”

#könig #könig cod #könig x reader #könig call of duty #Cod #König fluff #König x reader fluff #Honestly I think I killed this one #Shot dead #I’m cooked my friends #It’s 22:39 and I genuinely want to put a Glock in my mouth #Who said thaaaat #⚠️ ⚠️ IT WAS A JOKE I PROMISE #I will not commit anything except my life in service to my beautiful country (translates to: I don’t own a Glock) #goodnight my pookies #I might be on later if I can’t sleep #My tummy hurts #könig x you #König x male!reader #König x baker!reader

[yea-baiyi]

oh my god hua cheng is fucking trans we never find out his birth name because it’s his fucking dead name

#my hyperfixation demon #tgcf #rambling #this is literally a shitpost i’m still thinking about the butterfly lovers #also frankly why cant hua cheng be trans it’s in the text it’s right there #also the butterfly lovers is so queer too bc it’s about a girl dressing up as a man and then falling for her friend and it’s a whole thing #i’m working on this thought this. still cooking #i’ve said it before i’ll say it again #trans hua cheng #hua cheng king of gender

[hecateisalesbian]

what my mom probably thinks I do when I’m home alone: she’s probably drinking and smoking and doing drugs and inviting friends over and partying-

what im actually doing: *speedruns baking*

#I’m baking a pumpkin bread for my friends cuz we’re having a friendsmas on Friday but I didn’t tell my mom #And right now she’s gone out but I’m not sure for how long so I basically made a batter in like 5 minutes and now it’s in #The oven the thing is I halved the ingredients and also I used almond flour cuz I don’t have regular flour #So I’m not sure how long to cook it it also didn’t look that appetizing but idk I hope it turns out okay

[mikodaiyo]

Sesskag Fluff Week Day 1 // Friendship

Are you unwell, Miko?

#sesskag #sesskag fluff week #skfw24 #sesshoumaru #kagome #yoart #I’ve forgotten how to draw them #ok I’m cooking lemme cook lol lemme get back in the zone #my interpretation of ‘’a moment of understanding between two people’’ #I was blending all the ideas for this one trying to think of platonic displays lol #and I thought oh friends take care of each other when they’re sick! #but like you know ‘’friends :)’’ #my art

[mavspeed]

something that really pisses me off is this headcanon that ice would have been or was against mav pulling bradley’s papers for the academy.

like i’m sorry but I need some of you to think for a second. this is a man whose jet wash indirectly also led to the accident that resulted in goose’s death and probably carried that guilt for half his life too. this is also the man who was there to watch mav and carole grieve for the brother/husband they lost for YEARS. not to mention he was close to goose as well since they were both at the academy. like he would have wanted to protect bradley just as much as mav did when he made the decision to pull the papers. it’s a dumb moment for both of them but again. 100% they would have both thought they were doing the right thing for bradley.

#this has been cooking in my head and I needed to let it out #actually while we’re on the topic I’m gonna go right ahead and continue #people saying Mav pulled the papers ONLY because of carole’s wish are.... dumb sorry imma say it! #that’s his best friend’s son. the kid of the brother he lost #like be fr for a second mav isn’t infallible he wasn’t being victimised by carole he knew perfectly well what he was doing #and he did it in part to protect bradley! bc he didn’t want a naval career to kill him just like it did his father! #and ofc you can argue that this doesn’t make sense when Mav raised bradley and knew how much he wanted to be a naval aviator #but. again. that is prob why Mav didn’t step in when bradley chose an alternative path #you can recognise your kid’s wishes and ambitions and want them to succeed and also think that it’s gonna kill them #and act on what YOU think is best for your kid #anyway idk why these headcanons specifically irritate me so goddamn much but they do 😭 #icemav were good parents but they weren’t perfect it’s like.... okay to admit that both iceman and maverick fucked up #in this aspect of parenting bradley lmao #su.txt #top gun

[arttitude130]

i started dragon ball for the first time these are my first ever gokus (using notepad until i’m not sick anymore)

#i mean i used notepad all the time anyway but sickness is a good excuse this time #i’m just laying here cooking in my own skin watching little boy fly around on a cloud this is the life #dragon ball #goku #i did watch db z kai as a kid and had no idea what was going on but liked it #but never got around to watching the rest until now #undescribed #the rat in the mouth is from ep 53 and 54 he put a little friend in there

[mangostar]

#my dad thinks it’s weird i talk to my cat a lot #i like talking to her when i’m playing games like i’m a streamer and she’s my chat #also when i’m cooking i act like i’m on a cooking show #like yeah i might be lonely but she’s my best friend and i love talking to her #IS THIS WEIRD. i don’t care abt my dad but this is making self conscious i hate him

[brattylikestoeat]

#I’m doing something like this for my friend #food #tiktok #tiktok food #brattylikestoeat #foodlr #food blog #video #foodie #cooking stim #stim cooking #savory stim #yummy

[yugiohz]

my 19yo brother is berating me for not knowing how to caramelize onions he thinks he’s bakugo

#He took over I’m not doing thisss #cooking Japanese curry for the 1st time I don’t think I’ll like it but my brother and his friends want it because of naruto or bebyblade id

[scrimblo-soab]

Ok so I’m not a part of the bsd fandom exactly but I wouldn’t say I don’t enjoy the content. My friend had me draw this and I think it turned out pretty good, considering I haven’t watched the show yet(it’s Dazai if you can’t tell lolzies)

#drawing #art #artwork #my art #artists on tumblr #artstyle #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #idk #i tried #Not a part of the fandom but I think they’re super cool #And I’ve liked watched part of the show and it seems super interesting #don’t come for me #also my friend threatened to cook my cat if I didn’t do this #i’m tired #lolzies

[analexthatexists]

THIS. TOOK. FOREVER.

BUT IT'S FINALLY FRICKING DONE.

Introducing my take on the Nightmare of this Superhero AU. This story and Nightmare’s design(s) are highly inspired by Spiderman villains, Resident Evil, and The Last of Us! Thanks to @thenocturnenarrator for helping me with this! Superhero AU belongs to @thelunarsystemwrites!

This turned out so much more gruesome and complex than I expected, so VISUAL AND DESCRIPTIVE CW for the following;

Lab Experimentation (Might be considered child experimentation), Body Horror involving mushrooms growing out of the body, Gore, Blood, Insects, Vomiting, and potentially heavy subjects that not all viewers may like.

Backstory

Meet Nightmare “Nyx” Yggdrasil, a 12-13 year old who was kidnapped and experimented on alongside his brother Dream. At the time, he was only able to talk to plants and comprehend how they felt, but that was going to change very soon. The scientists wanted to enhance the powers of the soul’s magic, creating a serum that could do so but was incapable of working on Nightmare’s current state. His “soul” couldn’t be classified as one, seeing as it was more of a purple fireball of pure negative energy, so they needed a way to make it something tangible and experimental. They eventually gain the idea to have the brothers eat a Gold Apple from their home world so their “souls” can merge with the apples and therefore be alterable. While Dream’s process goes fine, Nightmare’s Apple obviously rots, but he’s still forced to eat it, and soon after so he’s injected with the enhancing serum. This not only enhances his ability to talk to plants to being able to control them and connect with them on a higher level, but it enhances the magic and power of the Black Apple, causing black goop to begin tearing out of Nightmare’s body. To prevent his body from literally ripping itself apart from the inside, Nightmare controls the plants around him to seal himself away into a large, cocoon-like growth. A few months pass after Dream escapes the lab with CORE FRISK, and the cocoon breaks open.

The fungi and other plant life had merged with his body. Nightmare was still mostly mentally there, but the cordyceps merging with most of his body was taking tolls on his brain and making him go a little crazy, not to mention the pent up vengeance and wrath he was feeling. Naturally, he slaughtered everyone in the laboratory and fled to the same place Dream and various other superheroes found themselves in. Craving any sort of comfort and affection, he forced together a team of supervillains including Dust, Horror, Killer, and maybe other willing characters. He’s convinced everyone including himself that he assembled the group for personal revenges on the world and to show everyone that they’ll be more than just tools, as well as general instinct telling him to feed off people’s suffering and all that.

But deep down, it’s just because he doesn’t want to be alone with nothing. Never again after all of the suffering he felt growing up in the laboratory…

Powers

Pre-Experimentation

Plant Communication

Hand-To-Hand Combat

Post-Experimentation

Phytokinesis / Plant Manipulation (Includes roots, mushrooms and fungi, flowers, ETC)

Poison Expulsion and Immunity (He pretty much vomits it up, or can poison people with poisonous plants/spores)

Regeneration

Spore Infiltration (He uncontrollably gives off spores every time he exhales as well as from his body’s fungi. Inhaling these spores can cause headaches and nausea, but severe cases can result in brainwashing, in which a host will become a mindless drone forced to take commands from Nightmare)

If a skeleton is spore-infested, they must wash out their skeletal system and clear all spores before the spores begin growing inside of the body and through the eye sockets and bones. The fungi that grow from these spores feed off a person’s negative energy and soul magic, slowly draining them and turning them into an emotionless husk, eventually killing them and leaving behind a visceral mess of flesh and flora. Humans and non-skeletal Monsters require more advanced surgical procedures to remove spores and fungi, and have far lower chances of surviving the infection.

Abilities

Insect Attraction (The foul stench that Nightmare gives off usually attracts flies, maggots, worms, caterpillars, ETC to feed on and live in parts of his body. This also means it’s not just chunks of moss and goop he’s throwing up…)

Nauseation and Headaches (Nightmare smells like rotting flesh and mushrooms, and the scent is very potent)

Intimidation (He’s scary!)

Weaknesses

Extreme Flammability/Fire

Explosives (He’s weak to those and generally dislikes the loud noises)

Light/Blaster Magic

Herbicides/Plant-Toxic Chemicals

Low Temperatures/Cold Climates

Abandonment (General Fear/Phobia)

Other Information

Alignment is Chaotic Neutral that eventually becomes Chaotic Evil

He's asexual and biromantic

One drastic difference involving this Nightmare from the original personality-wise is that Passive Nightmare is still in-tact. He's not dead in this AU, he's just been driven a little mad by vengeance and his own fungus. The apple he had consumed WASN'T the one that was possessed by the human that killed Nim; It was a Gold Apple he turned rotten, meaning he'd have more of his conscious than the main universe's Nightmare

Furthermore, he's also more of a liar and willing to bend the truth, such as when he lies to himself and others about the true reasons as to why he formed a team

Nightmare doesn’t leave his team to fight alone; he comes along with them every chance he gets to, even if it seems like a bad idea towards the others

When Nightmare realizes who Dream is, he’s hellbent on killing him and everyone that he has bonds and friendships with. He believes Dream had abandoned him and wishes to exact the same suffering he had to go through. It’s that Spiderverse-Miles-And-Spot “They turned you into a lovable hero, but I was turned into THIS.” dynamic we all know and love. Nightmare’s also very envious of his brother due to the fact he got to live a better, more fulfilling life than he did

Nightmare could definitely do that sick “Akira hand explosion attack” thing

#“Keep it simple” says my friend when I tell her about the Superhero AU #I absolutely did not keep it simple #I’ve never cooked this hard on a character’s motives and inner fears #i’m so proud of myself #dreamtale #nightmare sans #sans au #dreamtale au #passive nightmare sans #corrupted nightmare sans #superhero AU #Utmv superhero au #alex draws stuff #cw gore #cw vomit #cw blood #entomophobia #cw bugs #SH!Nightmare

[plantswithme]

never forget that it’s canon that bucky has thought about moving in with sam and that he knows sam’s not good at sharing anything

#sambuckies keep winning #even a year later we keep winning somehow #sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #your ship could never i am just saying 😁 #and they were roommates… #roommates fics with friends to lovers and angst with happy ending oh that’s my drug throw in some cooking for eachother and i’m melting #oh and mutual pining and maybe friends with benefits👀 #dove posts stuff

[thenighttrain]

i truly do feel like a failure bc i can’t cook and i don’t have many friends and i don’t have a boyfriend and i feel like everyone around me is a functioning adult but i’m not!! and idk how to be one

#my friends hang out with their boyfriends all the time #everyone’s getting engaged #or gardening or baking and i cant do any of that stuff #im a terrible cook no one wants me in the kitchen #i’m 😭 fucked

[styxdippedorgans]

wait shit what do you mean bugs aw fuck jeez man aw shit wtf…

#sketchbook #marker art #trans artist #queer art #yall remember being 8 years old at your elementary school halloween class party and they brought in the paper bags full of cooked spaghetti #and peeled grapes #and called it organs……. #my organs were spaghetti and grapes all along and ah shit! they’re rotted and have attracted bugs. but bright side: new friends #yeah that’s kinda where i’m at rn #illustration #self portrait

[faeriefully]

whats interesting is that I’m not afraid of aging.. I do not dread it.. what I fear is the growing sense of ‘I have no idea what I’m going to do next’…

#I’ve been accepted to grad school #there’s seemingly no husband on the horizon #i’m learning two languages #I’ve learned how to crochet #I am getting a degree in reading books #I’ve been on road trips and friends visits and done most everything I was ever excited to as a kid #my life is a growing sense of ‘now what’?? #i work in the audio/video department of my church #I am trying to see if there’s a different need they have that I’ll be able to commit to #there’s still some skills I want to develop— better cooking- embroidery- baking- better at art #i want to write more #i am approaching another spiral of ‘I don’t know what I’m doing next’ #g.txt

[little-cereal-draws]

The platonic yearning is strong tonight boys

#not me daydreaming abt moving in w my friend instead of nightdreaming (going to sleep) like I should be #i started brainstorming our interior design and I showed her #(but didn’t tell her it was for our hypothetical house) and she said she really liked it #and now I’m dreaming abt playing w her cat even tho I hate cats #and cooking for her even tho I’m shit at cooking and she has so many dietary restrictions she can only have like three foods #i need to go to bed #platonic love #platonic yearning #qpr #queerplatonic