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tagthescullion · 4 months

Text

Feelings I Once Had

Fandom(s): Percy Jackson & the Olympians

Summary: After years of not even an Iris Message, Percy catches up with Nico in one of his sporadic visits to the US. They've come a long way from who they once were, but have they really changed that much?

Based on @yonemurishiroku's post!

Rating: T

AO3 link

It was ironic, Percy thought as he saw Nico play with his cat, Moncho. He’d spent years thinking of him as his young, troubled, weird cousin. He had no right to appear out of the blue, after years of almost no contact, looking strikingly handsome in a dark blue sweater and jeans.

His face had got longer, but it suited him well, together with his straight nose, he looked like a Roman emperor. Level-headed, powerful, and just a slight trace of irony in his barely quirked lips.

He was alone. He’d brought nobody back with him. A detail Percy was surprised to have noticed, and even more surprisingly, it had given him a weird sense of satisfaction.

“It’s been a while,” he told the boy –man now, Nico was in his mid-twenties, he’d come far from the antisocial 14-year-old Percy remembered—. “Where have you been?”

Nico, who had shrugged after his first remark, smiled. “Italy. I went back to my family’s home in Veneto.”

Percy had heard about that. “Annabeth mentioned you were making it a home for demigod children across the Atlantic.”

“I already have!” He grinned then, a cheerful expression he couldn’t remember in his cousin after Westover Hall, ages ago. “The structural work was finished a couple of years back, and now I’ve seven children living there already!” His face turned serious after a second. “I’m sorry about you and Annabeth, I only found out the other day. Hazel told me.”

Percy gave him a rueful smile. “It’s okay. We loved each other, but we’ve changed a lot. She’s still fun to hang out with, anyway.”

“Yeah, I don’t doubt that.” Nico nodded. “She helped me out with some of the remodelling. She couldn’t stay long, though, she was doing that doctorate-master’s-whatever-it-is…”

“Harvard loves her,” Percy agreed. Still, he didn’t want to talk to Nico about his ex. He put a hand on his shoulder lightly, ready to let go if Nico reacted badly, but he didn’t seem to mind. “So, what brought you back to the US?”

“I was visiting,” Nico said. “It’s been a while since I saw Hazel. Her little girl’s grown so much!”

Percy studied his face while he talked. He looked proud, Percy knew he loved his niece to hell and back. He’d spoiled her rotten back while he lived in the country, and he didn’t doubt Nico had brought a suitcase full of presents for her, now that he’d returned.

He squeezed Nico’s shoulder, then let go.

Nico looked around Percy’s apartment. “Nice place you’ve got here.”

Percy gave him a half-smile. “The landlady certainly thinks so, she’s charging me rent as if this was Hudson Yards.”

Nico scoffed. “Landlords are shit.”

“ You are a landlord,” Percy reminded him.

He frowened. “No, I’m not.” Then his expression relaxed. “A bit, but I don’t really rent out my family’s properties. There are tenants –who, by the way, live there for free—, and they mind the place, that’s all.”

Percy didn’t know whether that was reliable information or not, he knew Nico was adept at twisting the truth to his benefit, but for whatever reason, him speaking about tenants in that way gave Percy an impression of what Nico could’ve looked like in the past. An earl, perhaps, or one of those rich fancy people in his mom’s shows who were called ‘my lord’, and ‘your grace’.

For an embarrassingly long moment, Percy had a very vivid daydream of calling Nico ‘my lord’ as he pushed him against a wall and kissed him hard.

He waved that thought aside.

What the hell was happening to him? Since when did he want to make out with Nico di Angelo of all people?

Nico must’ve realised Percy was staring at him strangely because he looked uncomfortable.

“Sorry,” Percy said. “You just reminded me of that guy in Downton Abbey.”

Nico rolled his eyes, but seemed relieved.

Percy made a conscious effort not to frown. It wasn’t that he usually enjoyed being observed with intension , and to be very, very honest, he was still a little bit bemused about this sudden attraction he was feeling, but Nico had had a crush on him for a while, was Percy’s interest really that unwelcome?

Percy shook that train of thought away. He was overthinking things. Nico had no idea what had crossed his mind. While he had many talents, mind reading was not one of them.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” Percy suggested. “I’m starving.”

“It’s like half past six,” Nico pointed at a clock in the wall. “You can’t be hungry already.”

“It’s dinner time,” Percy argued.

“If you insist.” Nico shrugged. “But let’s go somewhere they serve coffee, I don’t feel like having a real meal yet.”

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

In the end, they decided to go to a little sandwich place that had takeaway coffee and some pastries left from the afternoon.

They must’ve looked like strangers forced to share a table, Percy with a gigantic kebab sandwich with fries, and Nico with a monumental cup of coffee and two caramel croissants.

They chatted about what they’d missed, straying from the topic of Annabeth, which Percy was glad for.

Nico had wandered around his childhood neighbourhood, and his grandparents’ estate. He’d learned a bunch about his family, he’d got their affairs in order –made easier by Hades, who, despite being a sociopathic bastard, appeared to have kept things running smoothly on the di Angelo estate —.

He was happy, Percy thought. Not at all upset about being single, or so Percy guessed, since Nico hadn’t mentioned a boyfriend at all. He wondered whether being alone bothered him because he’d got used to having Annabeth beside him for everything, or if he really wanted a partner.

Regardless, his hope that his fantasy had been a passing fancy hadn’t been heeded by fate.

Every time Nico talked, Percy’s mind got caught in the slightly raspy undertone of his voice. When he spoke of things that made him happy, Percy felt as if the sun through the window melted the brown in his eyes into a puddle of warm joy. At one point, he’d sucked caramel off his thumb, and Percy had felt himself blush.

Blush. He was a 31-year-old man! Men didn’t blush.

Nico had caught his expression then, and had blushed himself.

“Sorry,” he’d said. “Not very elegant, I know. But this croissant is surprisingly good, considering the place.”

Percy would’ve defended Santi’s Sandwiches with his life, but the way Nico had pronounced ‘croissant’ had brought forward the kissing scene in his mind, so he’d let it drop.

The worst part was that it wasn’t just a physical pull.

Nico had turned his life around. He’d taken all that hurt and despair, and grown strong from it. Strong and kind. He wasn’t resented, or jealous about people having it easier than he had. He was fighting to make that happen! To have children be spared the atrocities he himself had faced.

Percy asked, at some point, whether it bothered him to keep helping the gods, when they’d done, frankly, so little to deserve it.

Nico had shrugged.

“It’s not for them,” he’d explained. “It’s for their children. It’s hard being like us. They need a place to call home, where they can be understood and looked after. Away from the streets, and all that emptiness one feels when you think nobody cares.”

Percy couldn’t believe this was the same boy who’d wanted to exchange Dedalus’ soul for his sister’s. To him, Nico had turned from spiteful goblin into a Disney princess, full of hope and optimism.

Although, thinking about it as Nico kept telling him or his wards, Percy couldn’t recall a time when Nico had been purposefully cruel. He’d lied, omitted the truth, manipulated, but he’d never had bad intentions.

Even as a child, Nico had cared about fairness, despite having had very little of it himself.

They were walking back to his place now, but Nico said he wanted to walk.

“Let’s go to Central Park,” he decided. “I’ve never been a tourist here, I deserve it.”

Percy would rather eat his own shit than pretend to be a tourist in his own city, but he could always pretend to be a kind stranger taking a photo for a nice Italian young man, so he accepted the detour.

“It’s so pretty when there’s not a war going on,” Nico said. “And huge. How can there be such a big park in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world?”

“Lots of people come here to exercise,” he replied, unsure of Central Park’s history.

“Can you talk to the fish in the lagoons?”

“It’s a lake,” Percy corrected him. “I’ve never tried to talk to the fish.”

“There’s ponds at my grandparents’ place,” Nico said. “You should visit them someday, see if you can talk to those .”

He’d spoken in a good-humoured way, with the beginning of a smile that Percy couldn’t help but appreciate. But there was a trace of sheepishness in his posture too, as if he wasn’t sure of what he was suggesting.

“I’d love to go,” Percy told him honestly.

“Do you think the fish would talk in English or Venetian?”

Percy rolled his eyes. “Sea creatures don’t talk in English , or any other language, Nico. They… I don’t know, they communicate, I guess.”

“Che figo!” Nico said. “I wish I could communicate with Cerberus, he’s such a nice dog.”

Percy wasn’t all that sure. Yes, the dog had tried to play with a rubber ball, but it was also a line of defence in the Underworld, and Grover had said it had wanted to kill all three of them, back in their first quest.

There wasn’t much to say until Nico decided to take a selfie.

Percy couldn’t believe he even knew what a cellphone was, much less how to use one.

“I’m so not taking a photo in Central Park,” he said.

“Come on,” Nico insisted. “It’s just for Cleo, she wanted to come to visit Brooklyn House, but she was dealing with some people trying to rob a tomb, or something of the sort.”

“No,” Percy repeated. “It’s not dignified for locals.”

As he spoke, a couple of runners crossed their path, going the other way. They slowed down so they wouldn’t run them over.

“They could’ve seen me,” Percy said, once they’d gone out of sight. “What if they heard me speak, knew I was a New Yorker, and saw me take a picture?”

Nico pushed him lightly with his shoulder and muttered, “You’re so dramatic.”

“You wouldn’t go around taking photos if I strolled around Venice with you, would you?” Percy asked, turning to return to their path.

Nico thought for a second. “Depends.”

“On…?”

“Not in the Canałaso,” he admitted. “That would be undignified. But anywhere else? Yeah, why not? It’s a beautiful city, Venice. It’d be a waste not to take photos of its prettiest spots.”

Percy thought the real waste was not having visited Nico in Venice yet. He wondered if he’d be more relaxed there, in his childhood city. Percy guessed he would. He liked visiting other places, he’d even lived in New Rome for a memorable term and a half, but there was something so nostalgically comforting about coming back home.

“Your grandparents’ house isn’t in Venice, though, is it?” Percy asked when the silence had gone on for a while.

Nico shook his head. “It’s a small town North of the city. Not too far, specially for somebody used to American distances. Around half an hour by car.”

“If I were to visit you,” Percy decided. “I’d have to see that town, too.”

“Of course!” Nico grinned. “That’d be fun. There’s not much to do, if you like a social nightlife, but the children would love to meet another demigod! They’ve heard a lot about you already.”

“You told them about me?” Percy was surprised.

Nico gave him a perplexed look, “Of course, I did.” Then he blushed. “I mean, you’re one of the most powerful demigods alive. You’ve gone through so much, and yet here you are, living your adult life: a university degree, a stable job, father to Moncho, the most unstable cat I’ve ever met. It’s motivating.”

His words were candid. The awe in his voice filled Percy with pride, as if owning New York’s most fuzzy cat was a feat on its own. But Nico looked embarrassed, so Percy thought of something to say to put him at ease.

“I was worried you had warned them about me,” he told Nico. “But it seems you’ve sold me better than I’ve ever managed to do so myself. You should write my CVs!”

It had the desired effect, Nico rolled his eyes with a rueful smirk.

“I’m rather good at bullshitting,” he said. “I could write exquisite CVs if I needed a job.”

“I keep forgetting you’re a trustfund child,” Percy said. “Even after a whole afternoon talking about your grandfather the marquess and your inherited properties.”

Nico pushed him with his shoulder again. “Let’s go back to your place, I’m getting dinner hungry now.”

Percy laughed. “You should’ve had a real sandwich.”

“Unfortunately,” Nico replied grimly. “You might be right.”

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Percy didn’t have much to offer at his apartment.

At least, not something that counted as a real dinner, so he made Nico a couple of pre-made meat patties, and a lettuce and tomato salad.

“My compliments to the cheff,” Nico said. “For this gourmet cuisine.”

Instead of replying, Percy laid the salt and pepper shakers in front of him with a little more force than necessary.

“Bon apetit,” he told Nico. “If you want me to cook for you, you should warn me of your arrival more than three hours in advance.”

Nico shrugged.

“My bad,” he said between bites of vegetables. “I wasn’t sure I was going to make it today. The babysitter didn’t arrive until a couple of days ago.”

Percy raised an eyebrow, sitting in front of Nico, with a plate of patties of his own.

“Oh, Will was going to get some days off,” Nico explained. “From the clinic, you know. But human resources took ages to get back to him, and he had to get the plane tickets to get there… and not everybody’s made to withstand the highs and lows of Trenitalia.”

The mention of Will Solace felt like a slap to Percy.

Nico and Will hadn’t been together in ages. That is to say, Percy had heard some rumours about them sleeping together a couple of times shortly after they’d broken up, but nothing serious. The fact that Nico trusted his wards to Will meant they’d stayed in contact much better than Percy had.

“Highs and lows of Trenitalia?” He asked to keep the stab of jealousy at bay.

Nico waved a hand dismissively. “They’re not the best trains, I guess. But Will’s been there before, he should know that already!”

Had he?

Percy thought of a subtle way to ask, but couldn’t come up with something quickly enough.

“Are you two a thing again?”

Nico frowned. “Jesus, no.”

“No need to sound so defensive!”

Nico sighed. “No, sorry. It took me by surprise, that’s all. Will and I haven’t been anything in years. He’s seeing an intern in the clinic he works in.”

“Right, yeah…”

“You look relieved.”

Percy blushed. “I’d hate to be the only one whose teenage relationship didn’t work.”

Nico smiled. He looked so sympathetic it made Percy guilty about lying.

“That’s fair,” Nico told him, putting a hand over his reassuringly across the table. “But if you ask me, it’s way more common to grow in separate ways than to have a happily ever after with the person you were dating at sixteen.”

Percy nodded, hoping he didn’t look too enthusiastic about Nico’s cool hand over his. He gave it a light squeeze, as if thanking him.

Luckily for Percy, the topics strayed away from exes and other lovers. Nico asked about his mom and Paul, and was glad to hear Paul had been made viceprincipal, and his mom was on her way to publish her third book.

“I read her mystery novel,” he told him cheerfully. “Absolutely incredible. I didn’t know who the murdered was until way past half the book! But when you read it again, it’s plain obvious!”

He told Percy whatever gossip he knew about their friends. About Reyna’s travels, and Piper’s art.

When it was time for him to go, Percy felt a sudden sense of loss.

“You could stay, you know,” he told Nico.

“That’s all right,” Nico said, patting his arm. “I’ve a hotel booked already. I’m only staying today, then Camp for a couple of days, and then back to Italy.”

Percy took a deep breath.

“I don’t want you to go.”

Nico frowned. “You’ve lived without me for years, I’m sure you’ll be fine once I’m gone.”

His tone was light, but Percy could see the puzzlement in his eyes.

“I—” How could he possibly put it in words? He hated talking about feelings. “I like guys now. Not now. Always? I mean, I’ve realised I like guys too.”

Nico gave him a funny look. “No offence, but people have known this for quite a while.”

“What?”

“That is to say,” Nico backtracked. “You once described Luke as ‘the handsomest fucker I ever had to fight’, that wasn’t very straight.”

“Yeah, no, I see…”

Nico’s face softened. “I know it’s confusing. Trust me, I know well. But it’s okay,” he put a hand on Percy’s arm. “If you need to talk, I’m an IM away. Or a WhatsApp, they’re less trouble.”

Percy put his hand over Nico’s. “Thank you. But that’s not— Urgh, that’s not what I wanted to say.”

“No, it’s fine,” Nico said. “Sorry I ruined your coming out moment, I really thought we knew this collectively. I really need to stop speaking over people when they have important information.”

“That’s okay,” Percy started, but Nico was on a roll.

“Remember when Hazel was pregnant?” He shuddered. “Gods, it was embarrassing, I mean what kind of brother says, ‘Yeah, I know, you’ve been craving rhubarb and you hate rhubarb’? If God doesn’t send me to Hell over that one…”

“Nico…”

“But at least I didn’t ruin Reyna’s moment,” Nico continued. “I had no idea asexuality had a name although—”

“I like you ,” Percy blurted. “I mean, I think? I just…”

He wasn’t particularly articulated in his speech today, but at least it had shut up Nico.

Then again, not only had he become silent, Nico’s expression had closed off, too.

“What?”

“I don’t know!” Percy said. “I didn’t know you’d become hot, when did this happen?”

Nico blushed. “Listen, Perce, I’m flattered and all, but…”

“But what?” Percy said. “But you can’t because you’ve got some secret sexy Italian waiting for you at home? Because it’d be way too weird after our past? Because—?”

“Because I don’t feel that way about you anymore.”

Right, well… that didn’t go as planned. Which was just fine because there hadn’t been a plan to begin with.

“It’s too late,” Percy said. “Is that what you’re saying?”

Nico’s face —far from looking stoic, as Percy expected, or repulsed, as he’d feared— was anguished.

“It’s been almost fifteen years,” Nico said. “I don’t— I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to feel as I once did.”

Percy could accept that. Had to accept that.

“It’s okay,” he said, although he felt anything but. “I’m sorry I threw that at you out of the blue.”

Nico still looked upset. “I wish I could say something different.”

“You don’t have to feel guilty,” Percy assured him, hoping he’d make a joke about Catholic guilt and leave it at that.

But Nico shrugged.

“You’re the person I admire the most,” he stated. “Always have and always will. You’re so many things to me, Percy. But… I don’t— I don’t think I can ever love you again.”

Love you again.

There was a bitter taste to those words.

Again.

Percy felt as if he’d been told a joke and only caught the punchline a decade and a half later.

“It’ll be all right,” Nico told him, his eyes clear with honesty. “It hurts at first. But then… then you see there’s a whole lot to the world than just one person.”

Percy nodded. There wasn’t much else he could do. For the first time that evening he wanted to be alone.

Nico nodded back, but avoided touching him, which Percy appreciated.

“I’m sorry,” Nico repeated in a low voice. “I really am.”

With a last scratch behind Moncho’s ears —silly cat had appeared just to witness Percy’s embarrassing confession—, Nico was gone.

#fluff with an angsty ending #percy jackson #nico di angelo #percico #(one sided)#pjo #riordanverse #pjo fic #tagthescullion #mis fics

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runningfrom2am · 4 months

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1. in her defense, she had warned arachne and academic pressure makes all the best people a little more unhinged.

2. “lady problems” aka the immense urge to use violence.

3. the fact that her threats are very real when directed at anyone but coryo. she had a weakness from the start.

4. sejanus, r, and coryo are the trio that is not exactly loved but hard to cross because who could dare to do such a thing? i love them.

5. i just know that livia was the one to suggest and insist someone should make sure r does end up in the office.

6. “You’re both lying to each others faces and neither of you knew.” OH!! HOW I LOVE THIS!!

7. did r just sibling-zoned him? that’s not how we run from our problems.

8. i will be thinking about the similarities between r and tigris for the next two business days.

9. coryo is the one to talk about, “gross and dusty and dark” honestly. he would know a whole lot deal about it.

10. “Cozy.” his Peeta Mellark moment!

11. i love how they how have their own ideas about what is wrong about the other but they will die before they make it known.

12. “Besides, an old couple wouldn’t be married if they didn’t at least get along most of the time.” with a marriage of 56 years they actually became this.

hi bestieeee (responses under the cut)

1. no literally (like i said,, that may or may not be based on something i actually did when i was that age lmao- i was like “move or i will hit you” and she was like “as if” and then i did and she had the audacity to be shocked like girl i literally warned you?? anyway lol-)

2. HAHAH like sir just say you don’t understand it’s okay (but also,, yes the urge to get violent is sometimes present)

3. yeah 🥹 she has always loved him and no one can change my mind

4. LOL like they’re not hurting anyone (except for r sometimes as a treat) but yk what i mean lol

5. no for real this is exactly how i picture that going down:

Livia: uhh you’re going to let them go on their own? do you seriously trust that?

Teacher: *sigh* Plinth- go get Coriolanus and send him back, you escort her down”

(and then sejanus doesn’t send coryo back but he does just go with them bc he just wants to be included)

6. and it would be a HOT minute before they ever acknowledge their respective situations in any meaningful way

7. unfortunately she did LOL, like the spirit was there. as we know, flirting is not really her thing ESPECIALLY before she was even conscious of her feelings

8. realllll. also (kinda continuing my last point) i’ve heard that some of the most stable het relationships are between a first born daughter and a last born son. this may not be proven but i’ve read up on it a bit and from personal experience i would agree!

9. like sir why are you complaining it probably reminds you of your house like 💀

10. AHH THANK YOU FOR NOTICING THIS LOL

11. YES and i think this is the beginning of the era where r starts to notice these things about coryo that indicate what’s up with his home life. clearly when this takes place he’s at least semi-aware of her situation already, but like i said she’s just starting to pick up on his. it never ever gets easier for them to talk about though- i wouldn’t be surprised if they ever really do (besides the very little that they discuss or allude to it in the main timeline)

12. sejanus once again being a fortune teller lol and as he should

#i have the answers #LTPF <3 #that-veela-girl

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ethanlandryshotwife · 1 year

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Hello 😊 how are you?

I’ve been wondering please write Xavier x shy femreader who’s a normie and they’re dating. When every time she visit Xavier at the weathervane (I don’t drink coffee, I’m hot chocolate heavy on the whipped cream), her jock best friend along with his friends go with her bc they wanted to see Xavier being clingy lovey dovey towards her. Bonus: she & her friends are also friends with Eugene Ottinger & Wednesday Addams

𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐞-𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐓.

SUMMARY: Xavier and Y/n want their friends to meet, little do they know they all made a bet on who is the clingiest.

PAIRING: Xavier Thorpe x Reader

WARNING: grammar mistakes, Xavier being a clingy hoe.

A/n: I totally agree with the hot chocolate I don't like coffee because it doesn't taste right for some reason. Thank you for this request! if you have any more don't be afraid to share<3

Words:552

This is horribly written but anyways.

___

Are you sure that your friends are okay, with me being a normie?

I text Xavier unsure about this whole thing. Me and Xavier wanted to meet each other's friends, but I am getting bad feelings about this. I hope everything goes smoothly.

Baby there is no need to be nervous they're going to love you

He replied in a matter of seconds:

Nevermore students usually hate norms because they hate them. I do not find harm to people who are different.

"Y/nnnn." A familiar voice sings from outside my room. "Are you ready?" Jaden asks me.

I have known Jaden since 1st grade. Some kids had snatched my animal crackers out of my hand, and Jaden took them back and pushed the kid onto the ground.

"Yeah, I guess,'' I answer, I grab my shoes from my shoe rack and I walk out of my room.

Once I enter the living room, I see my friends.

Tay, Jamie, & Hayden. I met all of them through Jaden. They're all like brothers to me.

They all wanted to meet Xavier to make sure 'He was right for me, ’ as they would put it.

“Hurry up we’re ready to meet your lover boy.” Jamie says. I blush at the fact that they call Xavier my lover boy.

"Let me put my shoes on." I say.

Jaden drives us to weathervane. The whole car ride was just them teasing me about Xavier.

We were the first to arrive. I picked up a booth close to the door. About two minutes later, Xavier and his friends walked through the door.

Xavier, Enid, Ajax, and Wednesdays walked toward the booth. "Hey, baby." Xavier said, then, leaning in and giving me a kiss.

Xavier slides next to me. His friends found places to sit. "Hi, I'm Enid nice to meet you!" A cheery blonde girl with pink and blue ends says, holding out her hand to shake.

"I'm Y/n." I say shaking her hand. Everyone then introduces themselves to one another.

"We've heard a lot about you." Ajax says from across the table: "A lot would be an understatement." Wednesday adds. Xavier goes red at the comment, and so do I.

The group then started talking about other things. Xavier slides his hand into mine. "I love you." he leans over and says into my ear, and I feel my face heat up.

"I love you too." I whisper into his ear. "Are you guys even listening?" Tay said, causing the whole table to look at me and Xavier.

"Me, Wednesday, Ajax, and Hayden clearly already won the bet, you guys might as well give up." Jaden says. "What I bet?'' I ask them.

Everyone's face panics except for me, Xavier, and Wednesday's natural glare.

''Idiot." Jamie says smacking the back of Jaden's head "What are you guys talking about?" Xavier asks.

"Jaden should be the one to tell them since he blabbed about it." Ajax says. "That's not fair!" Jaden whines as a two-year-old would. "Fuck! I'll do it!" Enid says rolling her eyes at the boys childist behavor.

"So basically everyone made a bet on who would be the clingiest." Enid explains.

"Anyways, I clearly one nothing new." Jaden says "You guys are so childish." I giggle.

"Who was the clingiest though?" Xavier asked

___

Send me request<3

#xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe fanfic #xavier x you #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thrope imagine #wednesday 2022 #wednesday series #wednesday netflix #idk lmao #im bored

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esther-dot · 1 year

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I’ve just finished watching Game of Thrones for the first time but Daenerys did always act like a spoiled brat when it comes to Cersei, not sure why people are mad to see it pointed out. It’s literally how it was written. She acted like Cersei stole a toy from her (a toy that never belonged to Daenerys in the first place, her ancestors are foreign conquerors, her father has been overthrown, she’s only a claimant). Daenerys hated Cersei long before Missandei and Rhaegal’s death and Cersei only felt contempt for her, the kind you reserved for a sick animal. Daenerys was outclassed in the Dragonpit meeting, the only one acting like a queen was Cersei. No one spoke for Cersei, she had all the power in that meeting. Daenerys should have been grateful that Cersei bothered to pay any attention to her.

She kept being surprised at being outsmarted time after time and even her final “snap” was Cersei-related because she did it AGAIN and Daenerys knew that Cersei’s popularity rate skyrocketed the moment she rang the bells and it was a lose-lose situation for her now. The people of KL choose Cersei instead of Daenerys. There’s no reason for her stans to be angry. Anyone can be outwitted by a legend.

LOL! She was undone by the best! I really enjoyed show Cersei. She and Joffrey were wonderful villains! But, I intensely disliked how they tried to force me to care about Dany's feelings about Cersei. I resented it a lot, actually. Sansa and Arya watched their father die because of a Lannister, Sansa was held prisoner (by Cersei) and abused (at Joffrey’s command) and forced to marry a Lannister (Tywin’s idea, Tyrion following through). Robb, his wife, and Cat were betrayed and murdered because of the Lannisters. Dany's desire for a throne (and even her anger about Jaime's little naughtiness in killing her dad who she knew was a baddie), simply doesn't weigh as much as me watching all of these characters I love die. It made Dany's feelings so small in comparison.

But yeah, I agree that Cersei was impressive in the Dragonpit meeting. When Dany does that outrageous "bring you pets to work day" entrance, and Cersei just refused to be intimidated. And then immediately lies to them. She made me laugh so much, y'all don't even know.

I also thought it was so dumb that they kinda wanted to pin Dany burning KL on Cersei and killed Missandei to trigger Dany. Dany had a) been talking about burning cities for seasons, b) already talked about attacking KL with dragons, c) just concluded that “Jon is the rightful heir, if the people know, they’ll choose him,” so they didn't need to do that at all. She already knew that she would have to terrify people into submission if she wanted to rule!

Anyway, yay for watching GoT! or, I'm sorry? 😬 How did you like it? What did you think of the endgames other than Dany's? Did it all seem pretty straightforward watching the seasons back to back? What all did you see coming? Which were your favorite scenes/characters?

#dot chat

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i-heart-hxh · 10 months

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Hey I’ve been thinking about this a little bit lately but I wanted to get your opinion on who you believe believe fell in love first, Killua or Gon. However, I’m going to go into a bit more depth with this ask then that because I actually don’t like how that question is formulated, I only start off that way because it’s how I see most people ask it.

The reason I don’t really like the world choice for the question is that ‘fell in love’ implies consciousness awareness of feelings and the significance of them. I think that if we are dealing with CONSCIOUS feelings of love or just romantic feelings in general it will be a totally different answer from unconscious one’s.

So basically I’ll ask you both of those then. Who do you think unconsciously fell first and who consciously did? I see a lot of debate of this in the fandom but I think most people talk right past each other without clarifying this.

So yeah, I’m curious what you think.

Personally I’ve always been pretty convinced that Killua fell in love consciously first, I think the events and meaning of CAA support this pretty well, but I do believe that Gon probably did unconsciously develop romantic feelings first. However, I don’t think there’s really any indication that I’ve seen (and I’m fairly sure I would have by now if it exists) in the text or subtext that Gon recognizes what those feelings are. In fact, Togashi makes it very clear on many occasions throughout the series that Gon has very little grasp of understanding when it comes to romance, relationships, intimacy or anything of the sort while Killua very clearly does (I won’t elaborate further on this here but there are many examples I could show you if you’d like more details).

While most people point how Gon repeatedly asserts strong feelings towards Killua I believe that Togashi is rather showing us how Gon feels these strong emotions without fully understanding them or why, and that if we was consciously aware of romantic feelings he’d be very unlikely to hold them back.

And of course, I feel that it’s heavily implied that Gon’s next arc/development will be him realizing how much Killua means to him (something more important), especially since Killua already has his own gay realization arc and was left heartbroken.

Anyway that’s just my thoughts on the subject, I’m curious what you think!

Thank you so much for sending me an ask again, I'm always glad to talk HxH more with you!

Here are two previous posts I made on this topic, one on when I think they fell in love with each other and another on how I think about Gon's feelings specifically. Of course, I'm happy to elaborate more because I'm always happy to talk more about these two!

I totally agree with you, and I think my posts I linked above can essentially be boiled down to what you're saying--that Gon started falling for Killua first (fairly early on even, I'd argue), but he doesn't currently understand what the feelings are or what they mean exactly. Meanwhile, Killua fell unconsciously a little later, but he starts understanding the meaning of the feelings he's having earlier because he's more aware of the larger context of romance, and he's also more of a contemplative/introspective type. In Chimera Ant Arc especially, it seems like he is aware (to some degree or another) of the nature of his feelings for Gon.

I've talked quite a bit about canon reasons for why I see their feelings being this way, but here's a bit more of my personal feelings on how I think it develops for them.

Gon likes and admires Killua right away, and thinks he's cool and amazing even when he's doing things that would scare most people. I think the beginnings of a crush on Killua develop early on, sometime during the Hunter Exam before Gon goes on his do-or-die mission to rescue Killua from his family. Gon has grown up with very little exposure to other kids his age, so it makes sense that, even if his feelings do go beyond what's "normal" for friendship, it's difficult for him to separate that out or know what the limits are. If his feelings for Killua are intense, it's because they're best friends, of course! Because of his lack of anything to compare it to, it's easy for him to just assume it falls into these normal categories, especially with his straightforward personality. Gon isn't completely unaware--he's smart, and I think there are likely moments where he notices his feelings towards Killua and recognizes that they're different than the feelings he has towards other friends, but it's easy for him to brush it aside or not get all the way to a conclusion because he doesn't have all the puzzle pieces together yet.

I agree that the way he declares his feelings is a good indicator of the strength of his feelings, though--and this is something Togashi emphasizes time and time again. Also the degree to which he trusts and relies on Killua is important. As friendly and sometimes trusting as Gon can be with his other friends and people he meets, his bond with Killua is clearly different to him--it's a partnership where they mutually support each other, and I don't think he would be comfortable with that degree of reliance with anyone who isn't Killua. Gon is often trying to prove himself and prove his usefulness to others to soothe his self esteem issues, so I think allowing Killua to be useful to him instead (i.e. Greed Island dodgeball match) is a form of vulnerability to Gon.

He's also just so proud of Killua and grateful that he's in his life.

I agree that I think Gon's next arc is going to be realizing the significance of and finding his way back to Killua, and I also agree that once he's aware of these feelings he probably won't hold them back, especially if he thinks Killua is ready to hear them.

For Killua, of course he hasn't lived a normal life with normal friendships either, but because his parents are married and he's lived with siblings of various ages (including whatever media his family exposes him to, etc.), he has more awareness of romance/relationships/intimacy like you were saying, and like I've also said before. He's also been out in the world more and presumably observed and learned more about society, even if it was within the context of training and/or assassinations.

With Killua, my headcanon is that he has an inkling of what these feelings are for a long time with his more in-depth knowledge and the fact that he's so reflective and analytical, but I think he spends a lot of time denying what they are to himself (even though he Knows) and resisting them because it's scary and awkward to him. I think it's something he grapples with, tries to keep under control, sometimes manages to push down for a little while, and then in the end the feelings always get the better of him and he keeps having to come to grips with his lack of control over them. He's ultimately just consumed by them, unfortunately with terrible timing in Chimera Ant Arc.

I actually think Gon might have some idea that Killua's feelings for him are really deep and that it somehow goes beyond the normal friendship (even best friendship) category even if he doesn't entirely know what that means or fully recognize the meaning of those same feelings in himself; and I think Killua might be aware of these feelings and what they mean to some degree, but have the (mistaken) impression caused by his own self esteem/circumstances/the fact that Gon is kind of an enigma that his specifically romantic feelings are definitely one-sided/something that can't be reciprocated and he just has to suffer with them alone. Both of them have issues with their own self-esteem that I think might prevent them from decoding the situation fully as things are.

Anyway, I definitely agree with you that Killua fell consciously and with awareness first, and Gon fell first unconsciously and without the awareness to fully understand what's going on. Thanks again for your thoughtful ask and patiently waiting for me to get back to you as always!

#hxh #hunter x hunter #killugon #gonkillu #gon #killua #meta #my posts #asks #tjlnn22

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crystalninjaphoenix · 3 months

Text

Colder Weather

Paranormal Preteens AU: Episode Twenty-One

A JSE Fanfic

Welcome to the third season of PNPT—both in the sense of the time of year, and in the sense of an arc of a story. The kids have laid low for a while, but they're still planning to meet up and talk about stuff, just to be sure nothing's happening. But something does happen. JJ gets something strange from their school. Could the Circle or Anti be involved? Read to find out! :D

More of this AU | From the Start

++++++++++++++++++++

Winter break was coming up. A week after the paperpillar incident, the school officially put its Christmas decorations up—though some teachers had their classrooms decorated since the beginning of November. The kids hadn’t had any trouble from the teachers belonging to the Circle. Which was a bit strange. After all, Mrs. Karter went out of her way to confront them. The Circle must have known what they talked about. Maybe the Circle was also waiting. Waiting to see what the kids would do.

Well, the truth was, not much. They’d agreed to lay off the supernatural hunting until after the holidays. And even if they hadn’t, the end of the term was fast approaching, and that meant they had to get through exams before they could finally have their winter holiday.

“I hate exams,” Chase complained one day at lunch.

“Yes, you have said that a lot,” Schneep muttered. “And I tell you, once the exams are done, they are done. You do not have to worry about them.”

JJ shook his head. It’s the buildup that’s the worst. The anticipation. And then when it’s finally the day, there’s a time limit to complete it. It’s too much pressure.

“Yeah, well, at least you get fucking hundreds all the time,” Marvin said, idly tearing apart his empty milk carton. “Imagine what it’s like for those of us who aren’t actually that smart.”

You’re very smart, Marvin, just not in a school way, JJ said.

Marvin blinked. “Yeah. And... we’re in a school.” He gestured around at the cafeteria. “Where did you think we were? Fucking outer space?”

JJ rolled his eyes. Okay, I get it.

“Stacy, what do you think about exams?” Schneep asked.

Stacy shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I don’t really have strong feelings? Uh... I think I hate homework more, though. At least at school it’s usually quiet. So hard to do my work when Roxy is watching Barbie movies in the next room.”

“Anyway, d’you guys think we can meet up after school today?” Chase asked. “I already asked Jackie, and he said he was free all day. We can go to Zelly’s and talk about... stuff.” He gave them all a meaningful look.

The greenlight and Anti? JJ asked.

“Don’t say it out loud!”

JJ raised an eyebrow. I didn’t.

Chase blinked. Then he burst into laughter. “I-I didn’t even realize—that just slipped right by me!”

JJ also chuckled. Most people in this school don’t know BSL. They won’t realize what I’m saying.

“Pretty helpful!” Marvin said cheerfully. “I’ve asked him to help me with exams before but he’s always denied it.”

Because it would still be obvious what I’m doing, I’m not getting you in trouble for that, JJ said.

“Well, I don’t have anything today, either,” Stacy shrugged. “So yeah. I can go to Zelly’s after school.”

“Chase, should we not study?” Schneep asked. “If you are so concerned about exams, studying will help.”

Chase groaned. “We’ll have plenty of time to study today! We’re not gonna be there until bedtime!” He rolled his eyes, then looked right at Schneep. “And if you’re worried about Mom, she’s not gonna be too bothered about us not studying every day. Even with tests coming up.”

Schneep nodded slowly. “I suppose that is true... she has not been like that...” He shook his head and cleared his throat. “Well, if that is the case, we can do so, too.”

JJ frowned. We can’t go directly after school. I have to go to the dean’s office.

“Huh? Why?” Stacy asked. “Did you do something?”

I’m not sure, they just sent a note to my homeroom. I think I’m supposed to pick something up. He sighed.

“Well... be careful.” Chase frowned. “It could be a trap.”

“Don’t worry, I’m gonna go with him,” Marvin said. “They couldn’t stop me if they tried! And if it does turn out to be something with those Circle guys, I’m prepared.” He drummed his fingers on the table, sending tiny ripples of green light across its surface.

“So... we can go around dinner time, then?” Chase said. “Maybe?”

The others agreed that would work out for all of them. Shortly after, the lunch period ended, and they headed off to their respective classes.

++++++++++++++++++++

JJ’s last class of the day was his Physics class, up on the third floor of the school. It was a long walk down to the first, ground floor where the dean’s office was. Not to mention he had to stop by his locker on the second floor to grab all the textbooks he’d need for homework that night; he never wanted to carry them all around, all day.

He finished stuffing his bag with the books and turned around, waiting for Marvin to meet him here like they’d planned. He looked one way down the hallway—

And then something flew down the hallway from the other direction and hit the back of his head.

He turned back around, surprised and a bit nervous, and saw a paper airplane at his feet. “Sorry!” a voice shouted, and a boy his age ran up to him. “I wasn’t aiming for you! Guess the design needs some work, haha.”

JJ froze up a little. Oh shit. River Bailey was talking to him.

River was a boy he had a couple classes with, with messy blonde hair and big green eyes. He always wore a brown leather jacket with fur around the collar. Even when strict teachers tried to get him to take it off, he would just put it back on whenever they weren’t looking, like it was a game to see if he could get away with it. Some time last year, JJ realized that he was starting to feel... weird whenever River was around. Like... his face kept getting hot. And he just wanted to stare at him. And he wondered what it would be like to talk to him, really talk to him, outside of school projects, but thinking about that made his stomach jump a little. And then, at the end of last school year, JJ finally had a name for these weird feelings. But he didn’t ever want to say it out loud.

Oh no he’d been quiet for too long. JJ smiled, then reached down and picked up the paper airplane, handing it to River.

“Thanks!” River grinned and took it, examining it. “Yeah, it must be a bit unbalanced.” He looked at JJ. “You’re... Jameson Jackson, right? The quiet kid? With the twin?”

JJ nodded.

“Wicked. Is this your locker?”

JJ nodded again.

“Cool. Mine’s on the corner, there.” River pointed.

It was?! How had he never noticed?!

“See you around!” River smiled and waved, wandering off.

And JJ just stood there, waving back. Wanting to follow after him, but finding his feet rooted to the spot.

Footsteps came up from behind him. “Oooooo.” Marvin appeared at his side as if by magic, grinning. “River talked to you. Congratulations!”

Jameson shoved him. He looked around, slightly panicked, but the hallway was now empty except for the two of them. Don’t say stuff like that! he signed quickly.

Marvin nodded. “Yeah, yeah. D’you know if he knows sign language?”

JJ shook his head. Probably not, to be honest. I’d have to use the notebook.

“Did you?” Marvin asked. “Use the notebook, I mean.”

He shook his head again. There was no time. It was just a passing exchange. That’s all. He looked down at his bag, pretending to zip it up. And I need to get to the dean’s office, remember?

Marvin frowned. “Boo. Fuck the dean’s office. You could’ve had like... an actual conversation. Maybe he’s... you know.”

JJ shook his head again, more fervently than before. He’s probably not. And that’s fine. Now let’s go. He quickly started walking, and Marvin hurried to catch up, falling into place by his side.

A flight of steps and a long hallway later, JJ walked into the dean’s office. The room had glass for walls on two sides, looking out into the school’s front entrance. One of the other walls had windows looking out the front of the school, observing the car park. JJ and Marvin were both very familiar with the layout of the office. The first part was where the receptionist sat, in a big metal desk with an old clunky computer on it. There were a lot of chairs to wait in here, along with a book where you could sign in if you were late to school and missed homeroom roll call. Behind the receptionist desk was another glass wall with an empty doorway in it that led into the dean’s office proper, which was a lot more personally decorated than this front area.

The receptionist—maybe that wasn’t the proper word for the role but neither of the twins knew what the proper word was—looked up as the twins entered. She smiled warmly. A nameplate on her desk identified her as Mrs. Lowe. “Hello there, boys. How can I help you?”

JJ nudged Marvin slightly, and he said, “My brother got a note to see the dean? His name’s Jameson Jackson.” As Marvin spoke, JJ took out said note and passed it to Mrs. Lowe.

“Alrighty, one second.” She took the note, and used the mouse to click something on the computer. “Okay, everything’s set! I’ll go get Mr. Worrall.” And she stood up, going through the empty doorway into the office.

Think it’s worth it to sit down? Marvin asked JJ.

No, hopefully we’re not here too long, JJ said.

Do you think it’s another award thing?

Definitely. That was the only reason he ever went down to the dean’s office. There would be an award ceremony later, but there was always a moment at first when they let him know he won something, maybe passed out a small certificate. They apparently hadn’t contacted Mam and Dad this time, but they didn’t always.

Mrs. Lowe returned with Mr. Worrall, the dean, in tow. “Ah, Mr. Jameson Jackson, always good to see you down here!” he said, clapping his hands together and smiling.

Jameson nodded and smiled back.

“Feels like just yesterday I saw you in here for Excellency in English—or was that Excellency in Maths?” Worrall chuckled in a friendly, but slightly fake-sounding, way. “Well, I’m sure you remember this one. The Royal Choice for winter term. Three years in a row! Very impressive, very impressive. In fact, it’s so impressive, that this year, before the actual assembly, we wanted to give you a little gift. Think of it as an early Christmas present.”

It was then that JJ noticed Mrs. Lowe was holding something. A green gift bag with white tissue paper. She walked over to him and held it out. “Congratulations, Mr. Jackson.”

Well... this was new. Sometimes the awards came with little trophies or medallions. Stuff like that. JJ would think that this was something like that, but the bag was a bit bigger than necessary for a trinket that small. Even so, JJ smiled and took the bag, signing Thank you with his other hand.

“No, thank you, Mr. Jackson, for being such an exemplary student!” Worrell smiled. He knew that sign—but JJ knew from experience that the dean couldn’t follow a full BSL conversation. “Please, carry on. The assembly will be on the nineteenth, at nine o’clock. Please let your parents know.”

The last day before winter holiday. That made sense. JJ nodded again, still smiling, then turned and waved goodbye, heading for the office door with Marvin right behind him. The adults didn’t stop them; apparently they had nothing more to add.

The two of them were quiet until after they left the building. At which point, Marvin started talking. “That was a bit weird. I mean, I’ve never heard of them giving out presents with the award stuff—but then again, I’m not really involved in all that, so I wouldn’t know. But don’t you think it’s a little suspicious?” He leaned closer to JJ. “We know some of the teachers are in with the Circle. And he said the teachers have given you this present. What if it’s—it’s some sort of trap in there?”

JJ considered that. But there’s a chance it could be real, he said. And Mam and Dad would be so upset if they heard that I got some special gift for my academics and we... like, got rid of it or something.

Marvin grumbled. “They don’t have to find out. We could, you know, fucking lie to them?”

Okay, but what if they talk to teachers at the assembly and they ask about how I liked the gift? JJ pointed out. I think we should play it safe. If it turns out to be some Circle thing, we can get rid of it later, and say that we lost it.

“Fiiiiine.” Marvin shook his head. “I think this is a fucking stupid idea, though. What’s in the bag, anyway?”

Let’s wait until we get home, JJ said.

“You can fake your first reaction for Mam and Dad, yknow.”

Well, also it’s cold and I don’t want to waste any more time out here, JJ said, hurrying over to the school bike rack.

“Okay, that’s fair.” Marvin followed him, and the two of them unlocked their bike chains and quickly pedaled off down the street, hoping to get home quickly.

++++++++++++++++++++

Mam was in the kitchen when the twins got home, talking with Granmam. But she immediately stopped once she saw them come in. “Hello boys!” she said, smiling. “Was the ride home from school okay? Oh, what d’you have t’ere, Jameson?”

JJ had put the gift bag into his school bag for the bike ride, but stopped outside to take it out again. He set it down on the kitchen table. I got another Royal Choice award for the term, he said. And the dean said the teachers wanted to give me a gift for getting it every term three years straight.

“Oh!” Mam’s eyes lit up. “Well, take it into the living room, we can open it up t’ere!” She hurried out of the kitchen and towards the staircase. “Rob! The school gave Jameson...” Her voice faded away as she climbed up them.

“Congrats, lad,” Granmam said, giving him a small smile. She was holding a mug in her hand, which she took a sip from. “Either of you want tea? I jus’ made a kettle.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Marvin said. “Thanks, Granmam.”

Same. JJ nodded.

“Very well.” She took another sip. “Well, let’s see what all t’is nonsense is about, t’en. To the livin’ room.”

The whole family crowded into the living room. “Here, sit on the sofa, Jameson,” Dad said, angling him perfectly. Mam was fiddling with the camera, getting it set up. Meanwhile, Granmam sat in the armchair in the corner, frowning while the parents couldn’t see her, and Marvin was sitting on the floor, using a cat toy to play with their kitten, Sinney. Her big green eyes followed the end of the string diligently, but she wasn’t quite coordinated enough to catch it yet.

JJ sat down on the sofa, watching all this, trying not to squirm. “Alright, go on, show what it is,” Mam said encouragingly. He nodded and opened up the gift bag, pulling out the tissue paper until he could see what was inside. What... was it? He’d been expecting something like a congratulatory T-shirt, or maybe some sort of water bottle. This was... weird. He reached inside and pulled out some sort of toy. A doll, made of soft fabric and cotton. It wore a smaller version of the school uniform, and had brown yarn hair and black button eyes. He held it in both hands and squeezed the torso until his fingers touched, going all the way around. There was a tag around the arm that read “Congratulations! Hollewych Secondary School is happy to have you!”

Marvin looked up, seeing it. “What the fuck is that?”

“Language, Marvin,” Dad said idly.

JJ turned the doll around and held it up for the rest of the room to see.

“Whaaaat the fuuuuck?” Marvin said, eyes going wide.

Granmam raised an eyebrow. “Bejesus. T’at’s an odd t’ing to give your student, isn’ it?”

“Oh, but I t’ink it’s cute!” Mam said, sounding delighted. “Here, Jameson, smile for the camera.”

JJ did so, smiling while she took a couple pictures. As soon as she was done, he turned it around, looking at it again. Studying it. Yeah... this was weird. This was very weird. And a bit creepy. He didn’t like the dead stare of the button eyes. He shivered, then quickly put the doll down, deciding to change the subject. The dean said they’d give me the certificate at an assembly on the nineteenth, at nine o’clock.

“Oh good! I can put in a vacation day request,” Dad said. Behind him, Marvin rolled his eyes.

“We’ll be right t’ere, cheering you on!” Mam added cheerfully.

Marvin groaned slightly. Granmam glanced at him, then cleared her throat. “Well, take yer mans up to your bedroom, t’en, Jems. Put it somewhere... safe.”

JJ nodded, standing up. Oh, before he forgot. Mam, Dad, some friends invited us out to dinner. Can we go?

“With exams coming up?” Mam frowned.

“Come on, Em, he’s clearly been working hard enough,” Dad said. “You can go, Jameson, don’t worry. But remember when bedtime is. You need to be home before that, so call us well before then. To account for driving times.”

JJ nodded again. He picked up the doll and looked over at Marvin, jerking his head back to the hallway. Marvin carefully moved Sinney off his leg and stood up, and the two of them headed upstairs to their bedroom.

Marvin closed the door as soon as they were inside. “Okay, but we can agree that thing’s fucking weird, right?” He pointed at the doll. “Who the fuck gives something like that as an award for—for whatever the fuck you did?”

JJ tossed the doll into the corner, where it disappeared behind a pile of dirty clothes. It’s creepy.

“Huh? I mean, I guess? I don’t really see it, but if you do, sure. It’s more like—like why the fuck would you do that? That’s such a weird thing to give you. It feels... personal.”

It does. JJ shuddered. Perhaps that was partly why the doll was creeping him out. So... do you think it might be from the Circle after all, then?

“Oh, for sure. I’m not sure why, but it definitely is.” Marvin glared into the corner. “Maybe it’s supposed to spy on us or something. Throw it out the window.”

We can’t do that, JJ said. You know Mam and Dad will ask about it for a while. They might even want to put it in the living room or something.

“Fuck them! Come on, JJ, say it with me.” Marvin began chanting it. “Fuck them! Fuck them! Fuck them! Fuck—”

JJ laughed. He shook his head. Stop it, they might hear you.

“They’re downstairs, they can’t hear shit.”

Okay, but seriously, we can’t get rid of it yet, JJ said. We should at least tell the others and get their advice.

“Hmm... yeah, we shouldn’t leave them out of it,” Marvin agreed. “Let’s get changed and get ready. Sounds like Dad wants to drive us there.”

The twins quickly changed out of their school uniforms and into more casual clothes. Then they hung around their room for a while before it was time to go. JJ tried to concentrate on the book he was reading... but somehow, he kept finding his attention drawn to the corner where the doll was. It felt like he waited forever before it was finally time to leave for Zelly’s.

++++++++++++++++++++

“Ah man, everyone else is here.” Chase plopped down into one of the last seats at the table. “I thought we’d be early.”

“Dad dropped us off so we got here faster than we usually do,” Marvin said. “Which like, just makes me want a car. To get places fast. But I do like biking, but it takes so long, y’know?”

“Takes longer in other places,” Jackie said, taking a drink from his glass of water. “We’re really lucky that we can walk to a lot of places.”

Schneep sat down next to Chase and picked up the menu. “Did you all order the orders yet?”

Stacy giggled. “Order the orders.”

“What? It is correct in grammar.”

“No, it is, it’s just funny to hear. Anyway, we didn’t, we told the waiter we were waiting for you.” She giggled again. “Told the waiter we’re waiting.”

Schneep frowned. “English can be strange. But I suppose German can also be strange.”

“So.” Chase folded his arms on the table. “Have any of you guys seen anything weird? Uh, especially, like... Has Anti shown up to any of you guys?”

The group all shook their heads in unison. Not since he knocked out Mrs. Karter and said that stuff about challenging us, JJ said.

“Which was so strange,” Stacy muttered. “This is all like... a game to him.”

“And it’s not to us?” Jackie said. “To you guys?”

“I got pushed down the stairs,” Marvin emphasized. “That’s not a game! That’s—that’s child endangerment!”

Jackie burst into laughter. “God, you’re right, actually.” He coughed, and stopped laughing, becoming serious again. “I’ve been looking more into Jack McLoughlin. I still don’t know where he is or where his family moved to, but Ram’s dad told me something strange when I was over at their house for a game. Apparently the McLoughlins moved really suddenly. Ram’s dad worked with Mr. McLoughlin, and he didn’t tell anyone at his work that the family was moving. Not even his bosses. He just didn’t show up one day, and when the work called him, he quit over the phone.”

“Maybe he simply hated his job?” Schneep asked.

“Maybe. But I’m just saying, that’s not how it usually works. And I don’t think the kids at school knew Jack would be going away until right before he did. He wasn’t really talking about it, y’know?”

Chase frowned. “Weird. I remember Mom and Dad talked about the move for a long time before we moved here. I told all my friends at school, and packing up the boxes took a while, and like... there was stuff with the mail, I think?”

“Moving is a whole process, especially if you’re moving countries,” Jackie agreed. “It’s strange that they just kinda... disappeared one day.”

Maybe they had a reason they had to get out of town fast, JJ said.

“Like Anti,” Stacy added in a quieter voice.

“Like Anti,” Jackie said, nodding.

“Ah... this is not too important to the matter,” Schneep said slowly. “But... what do you mean by ‘a game’? Were you playing sports at your friend’s house?”

Jackie laughed. “I mean, I’d be down to, if my friends wanted to. But nah. We usually meet up at Ram’s house for... uh...” He paused. “Have... you guys heard of Caverns and Creatures?”

“That nerd game where you pretend to have magic?” Marvin asked. Unconsciously, Chase, Stacy, and Schneep all glanced at the cape Marvin was wearing before looking away.

“Yeah, the nerd game where you pretend to have magic. I mean, my character doesn’t have magic, but others do—anyway. We, uh... do that. There. Ram’s good at running campaigns.”

“Campaigns?” Schneep asked.

“That’s what you call a C&C game,” Jackie explained. “It’s a whole thing. If you guys ever want to learn more about it I’d be happy to show you guys.” His eyes lit up as he said that. “I love to get people into it, and I’d love to try CMing sometime—Uh, I mean. If you guys don’t think it’s weird.” Jackie coughed, suddenly looking awkward.

“Uh... I’m not... usually into magic and stuff, but... if you’re interested, maybe?” Chase said reluctantly. He hoped that nobody at school would hear about that. But—no, he shouldn’t care about that. It’d be something fun with his friends. Still... playing a game like that was a step far into the dorky crowd. He wasn’t a dork... or at least not that much of a dork.

We can talk more about it later, JJ said. For now, me and Marvin have something to tell you.

“Yeah.” Marvin nodded, backing him up.

The others all instantly sat up straight, all their attention on the twins. “Did something happen?” Jackie asked. “More stuff about the Circle?”

“Well we think so, but I guess we can’t really be sure, it could just be something weird that happened,” Marvin said. “But I mean everything weird has been connected to greenlight or the Circle in some way in this town so I think it has to be connected too. So you all know how JJ had to go to the dean’s office after school? It was cause they had to tell him he got some award or something. And the dean was like ‘because you’ve won this award so much for the last couple years we’re giving you an extra present’ which I guess makes sense, but when we got home and JJ opened up the bag it was this weird doll thing. Like, a plush doll with button eyes. It was so weird.”

It looked creepy, JJ added.

“I can imagine,” Jackie muttered. “But... yeah, that’s very not-normal. I’ve never even heard of that happening.”

“I got an award last year for my art project, I didn’t get a present with it,” Stacy said.

Schneep shook his head. “That is not a thing in Germany, either. You may get a little sticker or something, maybe a medal, but not a toy. Very strange.”

“I dunno much about all that school award stuff, but that sounds freaky,” Chase said. “So, you think the Circle made that happen somehow?”

JJ nodded. We know that some of the teachers are involved. They could’ve pulled some strings to make it happen.

“I bet it’s some sort of fucking... spy thing,” Marvin said. “To make sure we’re staying out of their way like Mrs. Karter told us to. We gotta get rid of it, right?”

“I think that’s a good idea.” Stacy shrugged. “Is that why you brought it?”

The twins both looked at her, identical expressions on their faces. Mostly confusion... with a bit of fear. “Wh-what do you mean?” Marvin asked.

Stacy pointed at JJ’s bag. “Your shoulder bag is kinda unzipped and I can see something that looks all soft and plushy in there. Is that it?”

JJ looked down at his bag. His face drained of color, and he slowly reached down into the bag—oh so slowly, like he was waiting for someone to stop him. But nobody did. He grabbed something, pulling it out through the gap where the zipper is undone. It was a doll, with brown yarn hair and blue button eyes, wearing a tiny blue jacket and black pants. He gasped in surprise upon seeing it, dropping it on the table.

Marvin frowned. “When did you grab the doll? I didn’t see you do that.”

I didn’t. JJ’s signs were shaky. I know I left it at home.

The other kids stared at the doll on the table. “...Jameson,” Schneep said quietly. “Is it... supposed to look like you?”

“Oh. Oh my god, yeah, i-it’s wearing the same outfit you are!” Jackie gasped. “And the brown hair and blue eyes—”

“Wait a second, I don’t think it had blue eyes before!” Marvin protested.

It didn’t. JJ shook his head. And it was wearing different clothes.

“What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck?” Marvin said under his breath. “Okay, I’m with you now. This is creepy. And it’s definitely some greenlight shit. We have to get rid of it.”

“How do we do that?” Chase asked.

“It’s fucking fabric and cotton, just tear it apart!”

“Noooo nonono, I-I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jackie said hurriedly. “You guys know about voodoo dolls, right?”

“Hmm?” Schneep blinked. “No, what is that?”

“You know about so much, but you’ve never heard of a voodoo doll?” Chase asked.

“I do not know everything, Chase.”

“It’s fine,” Jackie said. “Uh, basically, a voodoo doll is like—well I think it’s based on a real thing in real life, there’s like a religion in America called hoodoo, I think? I don’t know much about that, though. But in pop culture and shit, a voodoo doll is a doll that’s meant to look like someone, and whatever you do to the doll happens to the person. Like, if you stick a pin in its stomach, the person will feel a sharp pain in their stomach. Or if you hold it underwater the person will have trouble breathing. This doll might be sorta like that.”

JJ was now as white as a ghost. Do you think that’ll happen to me?!

“I don’t know! I-I never thought they’d exist in real life—I mean, like I said, the idea of them in pop culture is probably based on something real but I bet it’s really exaggerated—but other than that, I didn’t think they would—they would—you get what I’m saying, right?” Jackie looked around at the others.

“There’s definitely something weird about how it looks more like JJ,” Marvin muttered.

“But if the doll is like how Jackie described, we should not destroy it, should we?” Schneep fretted. “I do not want JJ to get hurt.”

“He’s not going to get hurt,” Jackie said, looking like he regretted bringing up the possibility. “Here, JJ, just give it to me. I’ll hang onto it. Paul can use it to climb on.” That was what he named the paperpillar after it had shrunk down.

JJ quickly handed the doll over. How is the paper caterpillar, by the way?

“Good, it’s good.” Jackie put the doll in his backpack. “He acts more like a toy than a real animal, I think. One of those robot ones. Doesn’t need to eat anything other than paper, and likes wandering around or ‘sleeping’ sometimes. I’m trying to figure out how to buy a terrarium or something without Dad asking me about it.” He looked around at the others. “Anyone else have anything they wanna report?”

The group all muttered various ‘no’s.

“Great, so we can get food and chill, then,” Stacy said, picking up the menu. “I didn’t know they did actual food, either.”

“I think it’s a new thing,” Chase said. “But last time Schneep and I were here, we got the chicken fingers, they were really good.”

“I want to get that again,” Schneep said. “And I want to hear more about this Cavernous Creatures game Jackie mentioned.”

Jackie laughed a little. “Caverns and Creatures. I think it’s really fun! I mean, I wasn’t too keen on getting into at first, but Sly dragged me into the group he had with Ram, Mincy, and Celine, just for a oneshot, and I really liked it. It can be a bit complicated, though.”

“Isn’t there, like... maths?” Chase asked, making a face.

“It’s just addition and subtraction. But all the numbers could really put people off, I get it.” Jackie grinned. “But it’s mostly very creative. Like writing a story together. Each person makes a character, and they fill out details about the character on a sheet, and that’s where they can also write down the spells and treasure the characters get over the course of an adventure. Then the Cavern Master runs the game, giving you scenarios that you can work through! It’s like—like if any of you have ever played those old text games on computers—”

“Oh, I know those games!” Stacy gasped. “I love those games! And the ones where you click on stuff and do puzzles, too!”

“So... it’s like a video game... but it’s all in your brain?” Chase asked, tilting his head to the side as he considered this.

“Well there’s a board,” Jackie said. “And little pieces you can move around—but the pieces are usually pretty expensive so Ram just uses anything they have around the house.” He laughs.”But yeah! Kinda like a video game in your brain.”

“Oooo.” That did sound more fun than Chase thought. There would still be math, but he could put up with math if the rest was fun. “Okay, I’m kinda wondering about it too, now.”

“What about you two?” Schneep looked at the twins. “Are you interested?”

Marvin scoffed. “How dare you assume that I... would not be interested in a game where you can cast magic spells. Do you even know me?”

JJ chuckled a little. Marvin’s always been curious, but we’ve never known enough people to try it out in a group.

“Yeah, and you have too, don’t lie,” Marvin said, bumping his shoulder against JJ’s.

A little bit, JJ said slowly. Marvin rolled his eyes.

“Well, if all of you guys are curious I could... maybe... ask Ram to borrow some of their CM stuff,” Jackie said slowly, trying not to look too excited. “And we could hang out and try it out.”

As talk moved on, JJ slowly started to relax. The doll changing had really freaked him out. But it was fine now. Jackie could keep it, and they could figure out if they could get rid of it later. Everything was fine.

++++++++++++++++++++

When JJ and Marvin got home from dinner with their friends, their dad sent them straight upstairs to get ready for bed. Even if bedtime wasn’t actually for a couple more hours, he wanted them to be ready. Marvin groaned and complained but did it anyway. JJ did it without the groaning and complaining.

The two of them spent the last couple hours before bedtime hanging out with Granmam, all of them watching Sinney play in the living room. The time passed surprisingly quickly, and soon, it was 9:00 and time for bed. “You two are old enough t’get at least another hour,” Granmam complained. “But no arguin’ wit’ your parents, I s’pose. G’night, lads.”

They headed up the stairs—Jameson was sometimes nervous around them, ever since their birthday, he couldn’t know how Marvin could handle it—and into the room. “I’m gonna be tossing and turning,” Marvin muttered, heading straight for the bunk bed ladder. “Too fucking early.”

JJ shrugged. Good night, anyway. He turned off the overhead light and walked over to the bunk bed... and noticed something. A shape on his pillow. He couldn’t really make it out in the darkness, but he knew it wasn’t there earlier. Confused, he walked back over to the light switch, flipped it on, and hesitantly looked again—

It was the doll.

JJ let out a little shriek and backed up.

“Jameson?!” Marvin leaned over the side of the bunk, knowing that something really serious must’ve happened if JJ screamed. “What is it?! Are you okay?!”

He didn’t answer. His eyes were locked onto the doll... which was now wearing smaller copies of his pajamas. Slowly, he walked forward and grabbed the doll, holding it by its arm and as far from his body as possible. He held it up for Marvin to see.

“What the—” Marvin started to yell, then quickly corrected himself to a whisper-shout. “...what the fuck?!”

JJ shook his head, speechless. It was definitely the same doll. Either that, or someone had broken into their house to put an identical doll in a different outfit on his bed. He wasn’t sure which option was creepier.

“Throw it out the window!” Marvin hissed.

JJ didn’t argue. He ran over to the window, threw it open, and dropped the doll into the bushes below. Then he spun back to face Marvin. We have to tell the others!

“Gimme the phone, I’ll call them.”

The phone was on their dresser. JJ grabbed it and handed it to Marvin. Then he paced back and forth while Marvin tried to call their friends one by one.

“Ugh, no use,” Marvin finally said. “None of them are answering.”

Text them, then, JJ said. They’ll see it in the morning.

“You’re a faster texter, you do it.”

JJ took the offered phone and quickly typed out a message, sending it to all of their friends. The doll is back. It showed up on my bed despite Jackie taking it. I threw it out the window but it might do something like that again. Me and Marvin are gonna try to sleep now but call as soon as you see this no matter the time. He didn’t want to put the phone back on the dresser so he instead set it on the floor next to his bed. So he could lean over and grab it if he heard anything happen.

“Do we just fucking go to sleep now?!” Marvin asked, staring at the window.

I guess we try to?? JJ said.

“I... I guess? I don’t... know what else we can do...” Marvin trailed off. “Do you, um, think Mam and Dad would get upset if we left the lights on?”

JJ nodded sadly. You know how they are about the bills.

“Yeah... But is it worth it to keep them on anyway?”

JJ shook his head. I don’t think so.

Marvin was quiet for a while. “Well... if you don’t think so, we won’t do it. But... fucking hell.”

Yeah. That was the best way he could put it.

They turned off the lights and each climbed under their blankets. But JJ knew Marvin would still have his eyes open, looking towards the window. He knew it because he was doing the same thing.

The night was silent. But even so, it took them both a long time to fall asleep.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticeye au #jacksepticegos #septic egos #septic egos au #chase brody #jameson jackson #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #dr schneeplestein #brigid writes fanfiction #pnptau

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thethinkingaurora · 6 months

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I’ve just seen my first radqueer blog, and holy fuck is it disgusting

When I’m saying radqueer I’m specifically talking about transid and transdisabled and stuff like that because that was the main focus of the blog it seems

If you don’t know, transid and such is basically saying you identify as trans but your not actually trans, you’re cis but you want the label, and transdisabled is the same thing but they’re saying they’re disabled (whether that be physically or mentally) when they’re not

If you don’t agree with what I say here or you want to debate me on it, I’ll happily respond anyways onto the actual post

Ok so I came across the blog thanks to @urlocalsupermarketofendocrinosis and you can trawl through they’re reblogs/posts to find the account if you wish, and honestly the blog was impressively stupid

So to start off the blogger (I’ll refer to them as that as they asked to not be referred to as a person so I won’t) says they are transRussian, transUkranian and transJapanese but they’re actually American (at least I think that’s what they were trying to say) so they’re already saying they’re part of 3 different nationalities 2 of which are at war with eachother and while yes it’s possible and there are people who have citizenship in multiple countries that is not their nationality as your nationality is your place of birth

Next they said they were transdisabled with about every mental disorder under the sun (I’m talking all of them from BPD to ASD to ADHD to Schizophrenia to depression to ASPD, it just keeps going on) and then rickets and scurvy and POTs and it a whole host of other things

Next they have transage with about 16 different things there and the only number was 17 and then stuff like permakid, permateen, nounage, schizage and again you guessed it it keep going on

We also have trans race which is more of this shit and it keeps going on

So that’s the blogs pinned post well most of it anyway (I could probably fill an A4 page with all the labels they have there)

So now my problem with this

The concept as a whole is either sad or disgusting and disrespectful

They come along here and say oh I’m disabled because I feel like it when there is actually disabled people who suffer because of their conditions and this kid thinks it’s alright to just be like “ooh a disability I like it I’ll add it to my character traits list to make myself more interesting” which is just so goddam disrespectful

Or say I’m this nationality and that one and this one like my guy do you not know how logic works, you were not born in these places, you are not from these places like if you’re really gonna defend people like this what are you supposed to do, it’s just stupid and a miserable attempt to add interest to a boring character, there are certain things that are facts about you like where you were born and your DNA which do not change ever you can change your gender, you can change your name, you can change your body you can change your voice, but you cannot change your nationality

Another thing they also said they were transid but then literally said they were cis, like come on, they’re mutually exclusive you dumbass

Ok age, that’s another constant that is near unchangeable, you can change your legal age (I think) but you cannot change your actual age

They also say that they are autistic and ADHD and BPD (I’m not sure if them being a system is another radqueer thing but I’m going to go off of the point that there was only one name and the lack of plural pronouns like “we” or “us”), I actually have friends with a lot of these conditions and I have a few myself and they can cause problems and be inconvenient on a daily basis and it’s just disrespectful to people like us to say that your mentally ill or suffering a condition that your not purely because you want to be interesting

Oh yeah also if the blogger responds don’t be surprised if they respond with something about gender dysphoria when that wasn’t mentioned here at all

So yeah to close this off being transid or transdisabled or anything like this is sad and disgusting you are trying to add interest to your life with labels because you don’t have a personality so here’s something you can do throw away all of this bullshit and make yourself a life, discover who you really are instead of building a costume of fake labels in a desperate plight for friends and attention

Oh yeah the person was @emopack

And if you really want to justify this bullshit explain how you transition to being autistic or any of the other things said here

Finally this is not me being transphobic, this is not me being ableist if anything these sort of people are being those for impersonating and mocking disabled and trans people, but if you can find a genuine reason that this is transphobic or ableist tell me and if it’s an actual reason I’ll edit if not delete the post

#don’t do this shit it’s just sad #transid #transdisabled #radqueer

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tootempted · 9 months

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Guys I’ve literally never made a post on here but I’m giving it a try 👍🏽🥲

I’m starting a silly little hayffie series about haymitch’s healing process (post mockingjay) and I’m planning to make more within this storyline. I hope you like it🙏🏽🙏🏽

Characters: haymitch, Mentions of Effie, Katniss, Peeta, Mentions of chaff

CW: depression, alcohol use/abuse (obviously), cursing (a lot)

—————————————————————————

A Start.

6 months. Today marked exactly 6 months since the war truly ended, since Katniss and Haymitch went home, since he said good bye to Effie.

6 months since he was supposed to stop feeling like he was in so much danger.

On this particular morning, Haymitch heard about this “anniversary” after turning on the news and sitting in front of the T.V with a glass of early morning liquor. Great start to the day. As soon as he hears the news from some talk show host he’s unfamiliar with, he rolls his eyes and turns off the T.V. He barely ever bothers with the thing since all that ever seems to be on is something about the war or the games. How the hell was he supposed to somehow feel better if all he ever heard about was how terrible everything was? Deciding he would rather just be around his geese, he took a swig from his bottle and got up from his couch.

When he got outside, he grabbed the bag of goose food by the white wooden gate enclosing them, and scattered it around the ground. He watched as he leaned over the gate with a ghost of a smile on his face as the geese ate, and then looked up at him and honked, as if to say thank you. Haymitch appreciated his geese. In the rare instance when boredom would get to him, they provided him with something to do, something to put his time into.

Haymitch knew that very soon katniss or peeta would come walking over to his house telling him that they had to continue the book of people that died arbitrarily at the hands of the capitol. Recently, the kids had been pestering him on a near daily basis about what certain people were like for their book. How he felt about them, how they acted, how they died. Yet another blatant reminder of his darkest memories in life. On some days Haymitch didn’t mind it, when the memories of the people weren’t directly tied to some bit of trauma, but on a day like this, where he knew they were getting down to some of the more important people in his life, he wasn’t exactly jumping for joy to answer questions. However, he did know it was something that should be done, and if he could honer the people that he lost in anyway, maybe it would help with some of the unabated guilt he carried with him.

Just as expected, a few minutes later he heard katniss’s voice as she spotted him outside and started to walk up to him.

“Haymitch, me and Peeta have another person to ask you about for the book.” She said as he turned from the geese to look at her.

“I know.” He sighs. He can tell by her face that it’s not gonna be someone Haymitch will want to talk about. “Who is it? A family member? A classmate? Might as well just tell me now, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. He hadn’t called her that in a while. She notices he only calls her that when he’s in a certain pushy mood, like when he’s upset but doesn’t want to say that he is. Either that or he’s genuinely being sincere, but she could guess by his tone that sincerity was not the case right now.

“Haymitch, you know I’m not gonna tell you until you agree to come over and answer the questions. That way your responses are the most real. Please just come today, you know it should be done.”

Haymitch gives a heavy sigh and looks at Katniss with a face telling her that he knows she’s right. “yeah, fine.” He says.

Sitting down on the same chair he always does in their living room, he flips through everyone they already have written down for the book, past tributes of Haymitch’s, notable capitol rebels, The fallen tributes from the 74th games, and most recently, Wiress and Mags. He remembers them asking him a few questions about the two, and that’s when he knew they were getting down to some of the people closer to their hearts. Peeta and Katniss had obviously been trying to avoid the deaths that upset the three of them the most, but Haymitch knew eventually they were going to have to get to them soon.

He closed the book when Katniss came in the room. “Okay, are you ready to start?” She said with pen and paper in her hand

“As ready as I’m gonna be.” Haymitch answered.

Katniss nodded at him, but then hesitated to start talking. She glanced at Peeta in the corner of the room for reassurance and he met her with a comforting nod. Katniss cleared her throat before saying, “Haymitch, what do you remember about Chaff?”

Haymitch froze. He hadn’t thought about chaff in a while. When he died it was in the midst of so much chaos; Trying to get Katniss and Peeta out of the arena, the building revolution, preparing to get to 13; With everything that was happening Haymitch hadn’t even properly grieved the death of his best friend. Not that he has ever properly grieved before, he knows that he usually just carries the baggage with him wherever he goes.

“…Haymitch?”

Katniss was looking at him with concerned eyes and he realized that he still had to answer the question.

“Oh, um…” he cleared his throat, his emotions now trying to well up in his face, but he was not going to let them.

“Chaff was..He was the winner of the 45th games…he took to drinking, like me, and we talked to each other a lot.” Haymitch tried to avoid anything positive about him because he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold his emotions back if he brought any of the things he missed the most about Chaff.

“Okay. Anything else? Anything about his personality?” Katniss asked. She knew how he was avoiding any personal information. It was hard for her to ask these types of questions, because she knew that it was easier to just try to push down the memories of everyone that died rather than go through all the motions of grief for every single person they lost. Still, she knew it was supposed to be healthy to grieve, and she knew they had to make the rest of this book.

Haymitch sighed. “Yeah, fine.” He breathed out. “I mean, I don’t know, he was funny, He was loud and extroverted but not obnoxious,” Haymitch started to forget that he was trying not to get emotional. “he was a damn genius and he always said and did whatever the hell he wanted without caring about what anyone else thought.” He said with a smirk and a scoff-y laugh. He paused for second. Katniss and Peeta listened with small smiles as he then continued.

“He was kind. To me, at least. Wasn’t too fond of many others, in fact. He cared a lot about me. He’d stay sober and make sure I wouldn’t drink too much whenever I had shit days. He humored my drunk thoughts. They’d become the kind’a jokes only we got… I’ll miss Chaff. “ Haymitch said, still smiling without even realizing how deep he got. He also didn’t realize until now the single tear that feel down his face.

“Damn it.” He said under his breath.

But he wasn’t truly upset about it. Surprisingly, it felt good to remember him, like he was still with him.

Katniss and peeta had the same small smiles on their face when she finished writing his last few words about Chaff. “Thanks, haymitch.”

—————————————————————————

guys I’m sorry I didn’t get to hayffie or anything too eventful in this one but I promise this is gonna be a series and this is not the end🙏🏽🙏🏽 also it may be happy now but it may not stay that way-

#haymitch x effie #thg #the hunger games fanfiction #haymitch abernathy #fanfic #post mockingjay #guys is this good #how many tags is too many tags #thg fanfiction #okay i think thats enough tags

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buck-yyyy · 2 years

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What's The Hype About?

Summary: What's the fuss about kissing? A rewrite of the scene from the movie My Girl, but with baby Byler.

Warnings: nothing :)

Pairing: Will Byers x Mike Wheeler

Words: 952 words

A/N: So I posted this a few weeks ago, but I can't find it anywhere, even though I've spent ages looking for it, and I need the link to the posted version of this fic, so I decided to repost it- I hope y'all don't mind :) This was originally requested in an ask, but again, I can't find the original post, so I guess it's all just lost to the endless pit of Tumblr >:/ If you haven't already read it, enjoy! And yes, I know that Sattler's Quarry is all rocky, but for my sake I've decided that there's sand and trees to fit my mental picture of it-

Mike and Will sat at the edge of the lake at Sattler’s Quarry, dipping their bare feet into the cool water and stirring them around in lazy circles to make ripples in the water. The mid-July sun beamed down around them, hot and enveloping. Mike ran his fingers through the sand, brows furrowed. He had a lot on his mind- at least, a lot for a ten year old boy whose thoughts were usually consumed by D&D and science fiction movies.

“Hey, Will?” Mike blurted out, turning toward Will. The other boy stopped swirling his feet and looked at him.

“Yeah, Mike?”

“Does.. Does Jonathan ever talk about girls with you?” Mike asked, contemplating a conversation he’d had with Nancy the day prior. She’d come running home after some party that she’d been invited to, and poured out a metric ton of information to Mike about what had happened- including the fact that apparently, she’d had her first kiss.

Mike didn’t get the fuss. He never saw his parents kiss, so if kissing wasn’t a sign of love like everyone else seemed to think it was, what was the point? Nancy told him that it was fun, but Mike had his doubts- he didn’t like to be touched in most cases, let alone on the face with someone else’s face. Nancy had insisted he would understand eventually, but Mike was dubious.

“I mean, not really.” Will looked back down at the water, resuming the simple swirling motions from earlier. “I don’t think he really cares about all that stuff. He’s always busy with his camera, he doesn’t really hang out with many people, you know? I guess he just doesn’t think about it much.”

Mike frowned. He glanced down, scooping his fingers through the warm sand. “It seems like all Nancy ever talks about is boys. She came home from a stupid party last night, and the only thing she wanted to talk about with me was how she kissed some boy for the first time. She said it was fun, for whatever reason.” Will wrinkled his nose in response.

“I’m glad Jonathan isn’t like that. He tells me about cool things, like the music he listens to. You could maybe use that talk- you listen to some weird stuff.”

Mike playfully splashed a handful of water at Will, who squeaked in response and scooted back away from the waters edge. Mike pulled himself up, and held out a hand to Will, tugging him up onto his feet. The boys retreated into the comfortable shade of a nearby oak tree, Mike resting his head on the trunk as Will settled down in front of him, legs pulled up in front of his chest.

“Do you..” Mike hesitated, looking down. “Do you ever get curious? About.. I don’t know, just what it’s like?” Will knitted his brows together, confused.

“Curious about what?”

Mike grimaced, not wanting to be the one to say it. I mean, how do you talk about this? Kissing was weird, and while Nancy seemed to think talking about it was fine, Mike wasn’t sure he agreed.

“Kissing, I mean. Do you ever wonder what it’s like?”

Will rested his head on his knees, arms wrapped around his legs.

“I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it. I wouldn’t know how to, anyways. How do people know what they’re doing?” Will asked, peering at Mike with questioning eyes. Mike shrugged.

“How hard can it be? Here, you can always practice on your arm if you want. It’s easy,” Mike held up his arm and pecked at it, Will following suit, albeit a bit slower. “Okay, okay- that’s fine. See, you’re fine at it!” “I don’t know. I guess I just don’t get the hype. Can it really be that fun?” Will twisted his fingers together absentmindedly, thinking.

“Can’t know until you try it,” Mike raised his eyebrows, and nudged Will. “Should.. I mean, do you want to try it? Just to see?” Kissing might be weird, but maybe if he tried it first, it would be easier later on. Right? That’s why he wanted to do this? It was Will, so there’s no way it would be weird- who cares if everyone only talked about a boy and a girl, surely this was fine.

Will hesitated for a second, then grinned. “Why not? Might as well get it out of the way.” He leaned forward, planting a quick kiss on Mike’s lips before pulling away.

Huh. That.. wasn’t so bad. Mike looked at Will, mulling over what had just happened.

“Well? Say something!” Will poked Mike in the stomach, waiting for a response. What was he supposed to say? He’d just kissed his best friend, was there something that you were supposed to follow with?

“Uhh… hi?” Mike offered, cracking a slight smile. Will looked at him expectantly, eyebrow arched, before dissolving into laughter.

“It was kinda weird, but I guess it wasn’t half bad?”

“Half bad? Are you sure that isn’t an insult?” Mike joked, shoving Will lightly on the shoulder.

“Hey!” Will knocked Mike’s hand back and pulled himself up, starting to walk backwards to the water. Mike leapt to his feet and followed him, picking up his pace into a slow run, chasing Will back down to the shore.

The boys spent the rest of the day like that, running around in the hot sand of the quarry, teasing and laughing.

Mike wouldn’t understand until years later why his stomach fluttered for those few seconds, or why he laid awake that night in his bed reliving the moment. But for now, he was content with the knowledge that maybe, just maybe- kissing wasn’t all that bad.

#stranger things #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #byler fic #my writing

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yanderefairyangel · 10 months

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Tbh I think some of the “No one’s talking about Engage anymore” claims boil down to people not looking outside their bubbles. I’m one of the few who loves both 3H and Engage so I look into both their communities a lot and I will say you see little talk of Engage in 3H circles unless to criticize it so if you only hang out in those circles of course you’ll get the “No one talks about Engage” impression. And while Engage does overall get less fan works every day than 3H, it still receives a lot more daily than the “Engage Fell Off” crowd would have you believe (they make it sound like its tags only get filled monthly). If you look at the accounts who make these claims, you’ll notice they primarily follow people who dislike or don’t care for Engage. I’ve seen dead fandoms and Engage isn’t one of them. So for some the answer to “Why is no one talking about Engage anymore?” is “because you only interact with people who don’t care for Engage”.

Hello anon ! I am glad you enjoyed both games !

And honestly I think you pretty much well explained the situation. As to whether ot not Engage receives more fancontent then 3H every day, I can't really tell since I don't try to compare the two but I agree Engage's fandom isn't a dead one at all, and if people searched for Engage related content, then they would see that for a game this short it does received more fancontent they believe it does.

What is actually weird about this is that... why does it matter whether or not Engage is being talked less then 3 H ? That's not really an indicator of it's quality.

Just to give an example, I am in 2 fandom : Vanitas no Carte and Fire emblem. Vanitas no carte is by miles better written then Engage or any Fire emblem game story and it receives little fan content. I just checked. It received like 2 fan content this day, while Engage already had 8 of them. What I am saying is that it doesn't matter if Engage isn't as popular as 3H because it's not an indicator of it's quality and if the people who keeps saying no one talked about it tried just for a second to look, they would actually see the fandom is still active. But of course if some people didn't like it, why would they want to talk about it ?

what's more is that everytime someone bring that topic up it turns into a Engage hating thing where people will trash on the story, the characters even the GAMEPLAY and GRAPHICS and FREAKING MUSIC to say "Yeah look 3H is better at those", just to remove the game of any redeeming quality... you think that's not going to make fans not want to look at Engage ? or not discourage fans ? It is, it will obviously depress fans to see people trashing a thing they love, so they'll move on to another plateform where they can see some Engage appreciation, which obviously to the people who stay in their own bubble will give them the impression those fans don't talk about Engage anymore when in reality they still do, just elsewhere.

Another argument I saw was that people return to play other FE games... which is the point ? Engage was suppose to encourage player to give a look to previous game or replay previous game... if anything you are proving Engage worked !! But let's not kid ourselves, 3H is much longer to complete then Engage and when I finished it, I never picked it up again and replayed Awakening instead. Like of course once you finished a game, you might not replay it right away let alone replay it at all. And it's not like everyone stop playing Engage.

youtube

BigKlingy replayed it recently and made comments on how it feels different to replay the game while already knowing the story, that's how you feel that there were some though put into the writing.

Anyway I would'nt think too much about that weird discourse because I don't even understand what they are trying to infer. I remember that in January -March there was so much Engage content I though no one was talking again about 3H and even saw some 3H fans complain about that ! It's really just a question of perspective at this point.

#fe engage #fire emblem engage #fire emblem #thanks for the ask!#tbf tho #most of the 3H discussion I saw weren't about the game's lore but about Eddie #or people complaining that 3H is actually poorly written #but yeah those people are the one who don't know #underated #or hidden gem #are terms that exists for a reason #as well as #overated

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bigolgay · 4 months

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hello love! i already read your reply the night you sent it but i was way too tired to string two sentences together and then i got a bit too drunk to answer properly so i’m gonna reply now :) i hope you’re doing alright and you’re having a good day!

without your support it would’ve been a lot harder! you have nooo idea how much i needed some reassuring words last week! (and dog pics! loved the dog pics!) oh he got us burgers from a very fancy burger grill place, like not mcdonald’s kind of stuff but really good ones :) hehe thank you, we had a fun night out :) hmm yeah i do get the concept of self care, it’s just that i don’t really know what i like? maybe i should try and figure that out…or do you have any suggestions for me? i would love that actually, come over!! THIS!! i love taking care of others and it’s so hard for me to take care of myself!

i mean they should be wearing off by now, it’s been three weeks i think, but maybe i’ll just have to talk to my doctor again :// me neither, the first two night in a new place are always the worst for me at least…i hope you got some well deserved rest! mhm yeah, it’s kinda sad. especially when you think about the fact that you’re stuck with yourself forever and the people you put all your love into are not guaranteed to stick around you know? like why wouldn’t i put more effort into the one person i know is gonna be here forever? and what you said totally made sense! i struggle with the high standards i set for myself a lot just because i feel like there’s no way i’ll ever be happy with myself, no matter what i do :/ but then at the same time i think the standards i set for myself prevent me from being an asshole haha :) anyways! oh i get that haha, i have punched a few people (accidentally!!!) that just snuck up on me and touched my shoulder or something :)) hehe yes i remember! with the right people i’m a very touchy and clingy person as well, i just have to give them the mental “okay” i think haha :) well, if you’re down? i’d be alright with it hehe ;)

hmmm okay, just let me know if there’s anything else i can do to make it a little easier for you ;)

yeah, i wish we as a society would just get a little more comfortable around “uncomfortable” emotions…but i suppose that’s not gonna happen anytime soon :/ yes i agree! especially if you’re an ugly crier like me haha, it’s not a pretty sight to see :) i’m very glad to hear i’m not alone in feeling that way haha, i always thought it’s sort of weird haha… no you’re right, if it works it doesn’t matter! after you said that i thought about a few situations i’ve been in that i thought we’re super embarrassing…but really they weren’t! because if they happened to someone else i know i wouldn’t care for a second haha, very useful strategy you taught me!! doesn’t matter whether you know the word or not, i understand what you were trying to say! umm okay, i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to make you tear up *wipes your tears* it’s just something i do i guess? yeah i understand, sometimes i feel like that as well and then the only thing that helps is hearing everything is still alright.

well, in that case i’ll go with the standard shipping option, next day delivery would be nice but i don’t think that’s gonna work out financially for me :) very generous return policy, although i don’t think i’ll need it ;)

high school p.e. was the worst!! very weird concept to just force kids to exercise in front of their 30 classmates haha :’) i’ve never heard of netball before and i suppose that’s a good thing? i mean that sounds like a nice way to spend a p.e. lesson! when you forgot your stuff at my school you had to wear the clothes your teacher handed you (because they had like backup shirts and shorts lying around??) or you good a bad grade and that was NOT cool haha :// it IS the exact opposite of what you should do!!! please don’t stare and move on if someone’s taking care of the person who passed out! but also i understand that it’s difficult for one teacher to manage 30 other kids while i’m on the ground not feeling well. OOOHHH JUST REMEMBERED AWKWARD THING I BURIED DEEP IN MY BRAIN! i had to do physical therapy for an injury once and the lady asked me to lay down on my back on this table thing (which was weird enough already because you know, laying down in front of people is super embarrassing) and being the IDIOT that i am i laid down on my STOMACH, THEN REALISED I WAS WRONG AND HAD TO SHUFFLE AROUND ON THIS TABLE THING TO LAY ON MY BACK ALL WHILE THE WOMAN WAS WATCHING ME!!!!!! i must’ve looked like a stranded whale trying to get back into the ocean haha…anyways! i hope you had fun reliving embarrassing memories with me :) if you have a list please tell me more haha, i’d love to hear more :) and that’s the exact reason why i’m not using umbrellas anymore! not making a fool out of myself like that again in public! (i have limited options in visualising what i’m trying to say so using this (— and this )— was my best bet haha, i’m glad it entertained you a bit)

well, no need to worry! you’re doing amazing! awww that’s very sweet of you to say! i mean most of the mean stuff my brain says to me just stays inside my head but sometimes it gets…a bit much…and that makes it very hard not to believe myself you know? but now i’ll just tell you so you can say it’s not true! :)

Hello, am back from coffee (and shopping😑) now. Warning: I have had an awful headache for like… 2 days now, and waking up with one has put me in a foul mood, but I’m hoping answering this will cheer me up. (I’ve been adding to this throughout the day but my head has stayed consistent in it wanting to murder me, so I’m so sorry it’s come to you so late🤦).

I’m so glad I helped, but please make sure you’re giving yourself enough credit darling (I am always equipped with dog pics, so many dog pics… and cat pics…). Mmmmm yum! Uhhhh suggestions…… um okay so what I tend to do is play on the xbox, playing games and stuff is a good way to unwind. Uhhh I guess in a way sometimes I nap as self care? I’ve never been super into going on a walk to unwind (because where I live isn’t particularly an unwinding walking place🤣) but I think that’s a popular one. I dunno, it’s just whatever you want to do. Not anything you need to do, but you want to. I think at the very least once a week people should do one activity that is not done in the name of productivity or for any particular goal other than “I want to do this, so I’m doing it.” But it can be literally anything. Idk what you’re into, but if you’re artsy then you could draw or make something, or if you really love music then you can listen to music or sing to music or dance to music, as long as you’re not doing anything productive alongside it. It could be anyyyyyything. Also I’m running out of ideas now🤣. I’ll literally be there in a heartbeat, I love taking care of people, it’s one of the few things I’m really genuinely good at. And it would be my pleasure to come and take care of you🫶🏼.

Aww nooo, I really hope side effects are wearing off now and you don’t have to talk to the doctor again☹️. YES, we have ourselves forever and that’s for certain. For as long as I live, this body will be with me, so why place more worth in others than me? Why are other people so easy to love and myself so much harder? It’s gotta be one of the saddest things about humans. And I feel like with our standards for ourselves… there’s gotta be a balance to it but it’s so hard to get it right🤦. I remember when I first started working at the pub I used to work at and before people knew me I was constantly jerking away from people when they’d pass me and do that thing where they like… touch you to move you? Like a hand on the arm or the shoulder? Ugh it was awful for weeks. But then people caught on to that I didn’t wanna be touched and also I got closer with them so it wasn’t so bad as well. That makes sense, like… must be pretty hard to be touchy with people you barely know? I dunno, makes me uncomfy thinking about it sort of🤣. Well of course I’m down🙄nap date with such an adorable sweetheart? Who could turn that down? (Answer: not me!)

Oh don’t worry, I will😉I’ll have to have you make it up to me somehow…

I agree (hello. I fell asleep about here for an hour. So if the tone or whatever changed, that’s why🤣). Uncomfortable emotions aren’t always bad, at least not always in the long term. There’s a discomfort in so many things that end up being good in the end. I dunno, I think if people go through life avoiding every scenario where there’s a possibility of discomfort or pain then they’re gonna miss out on a lot of brilliant moments. Like some of my best moments involved taking a chance and being scared, or doing something that I feel is embarrassing or doing something I know will hurt, but in the end will benefit me. And the truth of it is, you can’t avoid uncomfortability. It’s gonna happen. So why not just accept it’s gonna suck big time for a while and hope that it’ll come out all okay in the end? And maybe make the best of the discomfort if you can? Fun things are usually scary, imagine how much fun would be missed if people took the discomfort as a sign to not do it🤷. I’m glad my strategy has helped you see that they weren’t actually embarrassing then!! We shouldn’t be embarrassed simply for existing and doing normal people things and sometimes you just need to see it from an outside perspective😌. Don’t apologise😭you’re so fine. That’s just the sweetest thing I’ve heard and ahhhh you’re awesome. I’m glad I’m not alone then🫶🏼I always feel super bad about having to ask if people hate me yet🤣

Hmmmmmm, now… you can’t go telling anyone this… it’s our secret. But there’s a super secret sweetie discount, it’ll give you next day delivery for the grand total of… free!!! But again, our secret. Not just anyone gets the super secret sweetie discount😉. Well aren’t you a little flatterer? Well the return policy is always there just in case anyway😌

OMG AGREED. So weird. I almost never did p.e in school, I hated getting changed in the changing rooms so I’d either take the detention or I’d try and lie and say I can’t do it because I had an injury (this one… admittedly didn’t work often because I’m… not a great liar😑). THEY GAVE YOU CLOTHES TO WEAR??? You poor poor soul😬that’s awful. P.e is bad enough in your own clothes, but in random clothes they hand you??? Nuh uh. Hate that actually🤣. I feel like it’s just… common sense and common courtesy? Like the person passed out is in a very vulnerable situation, so mind your own business?? Idk people are kind of dumb sometimes… and too nosy. HAHA OH NO. THATS SO EMBARRASSING. But again it’s one of those things that shouldn’t be??? Because like… maybe it’s a bit awkward, but not embarrassing necessarily? And I’d say you probably looked like a human turning over from being on their front to being on their back… unless you’re secretly a shapeshifter and forgot to mention it to me? Anyway, of course, here’s some more things that feel embarrassing that aren’t: when you’re walking up a hill or stairs and are out of breath and there’s someone near you and you hold your breath so they don’t know that you are struggling. Why is breathing heavily when you’re doing something physically exerting so embarrassing? It shouldn’t be. Oh when your shoes or a chair you’re moving squeaks really loud. Omg walking across a zebra crossing or crossing the road at a traffic light??? Like why am I suddenly compelled to give an awkward smile and go into that weird half walk half jog thing?? When you go into a shop looking for one thing and then it not having that thing and then having to leave the shop empty handed? That’s embarrassing, dunno why, just is. Also I’m always scared I’m gonna be accused of stealing stuff. Throwing stuff in the bin if you’re in the middle of a lesson? Lifts (elevators) with other people. OMG WHEN YOUR MOUTH/THROAT/STOMACH MAKES AN AUDIBLE NOISE THAT OTHERS CAN HEAR😃and then the awkward explanation being like “woah my throat made a weird sound ha… haha… yeah…” and then realising that no one really took any notice anyway🫣. Sneezing in public is always the worst. Scratching an itch anywhere on your body in public. I have this weird thing with how I’m standing? Like… I can’t stand too still because A: I feel like a weird robot or statue, and B: I can’t sit still for the life of me anyway. But I also feel super embarrassed if I move too much? So basically just standing anywhere is embarrassing for me. Also I forget how to position my arms when I’m standing and I don’t have pockets. WHERE DO THEY GO??? Because my go to is to have my arms crossed, but I’m scared that makes me look like an asshole. Anyway, that’s all for now, hope you enjoyed! It was very clever hehe

Thank you darling🥹. I understand, brains can be very convincing at times, but yes, please do come to me and let me know if your brain is telling you mean things. I’ll gladly tell you that it’s lying to you❤️

#okay #wow I’m sorry #I started this at like… 1 when I got back from coffee and shopping #and my head was killing me #and then I napped for an hour #and then I woke up and somehow my head was worse???#so I drank some water and took some meds and went and laid in a dark room #and ended up falling asleep for like… 3 hours?#then I was woken up because dinner needed to be eaten🙄#and then I finished doing this #and somehow one singular reply took me… 6 hours????#so yeah #that’s the explanation #I hope you’ve had a good day sweetheart🫶🏼#a sweetheart has stumbled into my asks!

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