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#I'll just add both lmao
aylabyu · 1 year
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Sleep.
A GN!Reader x ??? SFW fic
A/N: y'all, my knowledge about this character is non-existent so forgive me if I ever had any information wrong, or completely wrong. never correct I'm sure... also I wanted this fic to be gender neutral so please point out to me if there are mistakes, in this context and grammar-wise too!
[whoever guesses who this character is can tell me what they want next to be published by me! (lmao I'm acting as if I'm well-known) like they can tell me who the character/s will be in the fic, genre, some tags, things to not include, etc. I can write other fandoms... I think, but I don't generally watch most animes like MHA or JJK but I might manage..? but for games like OM! or twst, I can...! kinda,,] [still open, will edit this if it changes later on!]
.... because I have so many ideas and idk what to do first so I'll let others decide...
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the moon greets the man who is looking up at it, its majestic form putting pressure on him. he was about to stand up and reluctantly leave his lover when she muttered.
"ugh, what.. time is it?" you groaned, feeling the bed dip and soft lips on your forehead.
"it's not near daybreak, go back to sleep."
"where are you going then?"
he looked at you with his gentle smile, the one where you know he'll fascinate you until you heed his wishes.
"i'm just going out for some fresh air," he simply stated.
he was brushing your hair, detangling and smoothing it down, which ultimately makes you in a trance between reality and dreamland. the latter is the winning side.
as a last resort, you threw your body at his, "you'll go off somewhere again, stay with me."
"but I am with you. you are my lover, my sweet."
"oh stop. stay with me. in bed."
you felt him softly sigh and surrendered. he fixed your sleeping position so he can put his arms around your frail body.
silence reigned, and when he heard your soft snores, he whispered, "... i'm sorry, my dear. i'm so sorry."
tears ran down his face, but he made sure they never touch your complexion. he doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve tainting you, even with his tears – doesn't deserve you. his heart and soul ached for you.
he stopped when he felt a hand touch his wet cheek.
"why are you crying? who hurt my sweetheart?" you mumbled through closed eyes, still rubbing your hand on his cheek.
"it's just the water, dear. my hair is acting up again."
you started to open your eyes to see if what he said was true, but he put a hand over your vision.
"i, i am not attractive right now. please, have sweet dreams," he glided his hand over your forehead which made you close your eyes and instantly sleep.
he made sure you are in deep sleep until tomorrow when he is sure he will get the job done. time for revenge.
he got up and went out of their dwelling, meeting his friend who he called upon.
amber eyes stared at him when he saw him, "are you sure? you do know that i can't, and won't, help you."
"yes, if it is for them, i am willing to face everything. even when going against you," he looked at the steely man in front of him.
"... have no worries, i will not meddle in your retaliation. the time is near, get going. i will stay back, as promised, to take care of them until you get back."
your lover nodded, thankful for his friend's consideration, "thank you, i will be eternally grateful to you. excuse me."
both men nodded at each other, the elegant one going out to his adversary and the man with amber eyes going to you, who is slumbering incredibly deeply.
"my dear, forgive me. i love you to the moon and back, let Celestia go to hell for all i care," thunder rumbled through the night skies, as if hearing his declaration of battle.
he teleported to the entrance of this damned nation, and instead of a knock on the door, he raised his hand and let a severe flood wreak havoc upon everyone.
why would he care if innocents die? why would he care if people curse him to death? why would he care if he would die?
why?
they never cared even when you were innocent. they never cared when you were just framed so obviously, but they threw you down until your wings got torn and bloody. they never cared about you.
that should change now.
they will know of your dignified self. oh so regal and majestic, no one should even set their sights upon you – not even his own.
his gaze burned with the thought of you, itching to be within your delicate embrace and alleviating aura, but he used this fire to intensify the torrent silencing the screams of the citizens.
daybreak is near, and he should be done with the first step in his plan before it. with this, he moved on to the grand fortress with hatred in his heart.
"i have to hurry, they might wake up without me nuzzling their neck," he smiled maniacally while summoning his hydro serpents to aid him in this gratifying massacre.
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mattodore · 9 months
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The BOLD THE FACTS tag with Theo (requested)
tagged for theo by @wldestluv-rs and @earthmoonz <3
The Rules are simple! Tag people and name a character you want to know more about! If you want to let the person you tagged decide who to showcase, then don’t name a character and they can pick somebody. Easy! The person who is tagged will then bold the remarks below which apply to their character &, if they want to, include a picture with their reply!
[ PERSONAL ]
$ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty / other (theo is financially dependent on his wealthy parents and technically has no money of his own) ✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly (he overworks himself, gets very little sleep, smokes frequently, and abuses drugs… he’s not doing so hot) / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable ✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but hasn't been caught (theo uses illegal drugs) / yes, but charges were dismissed
[ FAMILY ]
◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parents / not applicable / other (while technically living with his parents and being raised by them as a teen, theo was raised more closely by his au pair when he was younger)
[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ]
♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ disorganized / organized / in between ♦ close minded /open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between (he can lash out but generally theo keeps a lot of his thoughts to himself) ♦ leader / follower (theo doesn’t like the spotlight) / in between ♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown (theo hasn't had enough people in his corner to answer this one with any amount of certainty) ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown (similar to the above, theo hasn't dated enough to give a general answer for this)
[ BELIEFS ]
★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical: yes / no
[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]
❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual ❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless / other (theo has sex regularly but that doesn't necessarily mean he's favorable... this isn't to say that he never wants or enjoys sex, but that he has a tendency to use sex in unhealthy ways. it's complicated.) ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naïve and clueless / romance suspicious (doesn’t trust people not to hurt him) ❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naïve / inexperienced / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all
[ ABILITIES ]
☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none
[ HABITS ]
☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / Alcoholic ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker ✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed (headache meds regularly and sleeping pills a few months out of the year) / frequently / to excess ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending: never/ sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler
tagging @wldestluv-rs for faye (i've got you nene ☝️), @veone for nick, @stinkrascal for vlad and also maybe amarie if you wanna, @omgkayplays for malaika, and @lucidicer for pogo and vincent whenever you come back from your break ♥
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prettybbychim · 2 months
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me, sleep deprived as all hell: that guy looks like pantalone
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trashlie · 1 year
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Nol and Kousuke; their continued parallels
I know I never shut up about parallels and mirroring and foiling but that’s something that I find so fascinating about ILY - the intentional set up of characters who can illuminate something else in another character, and how the way they respond similarly or differently to their similar scenarios makes or breaks them. For instance, we see in Nol and Shinae typically positive mirroring - where she has learned from him how to be a better friend and turned around and gave it right back to him. But we also see between Nol and Kouske’s parallels a tendency to fracture and create chaos. 
The more we learn about Nol and Kousuke, and their relationship, the more intrigued I grow about how they parallel each other, because I think they are more alike than they - and some readers - realize. Or, rather, I think Nol is at least aware of it to some degree, but Kousuke remains locked up inside his comfortable bubble. 
I don’t have a clear cut thought-process for this post lol so please bear with me - I’m just tossing around some thoughts I’ve been having. It’s a LOT of long-winded rambling lol I’m sorry in advance 
To some degree, Nol and Kousuke’s parentage is paralleled. Neither of them had much of a relationship with Rand - for Nol, he didn’t even know his father for years, and Kousuke may as well not have as busy as Rand always was. They also had a mother who loved them. I’m using this word loosely here because frankly I think Yui sees Kousuke as an extension of herself, rather than a person of his own, and thus I feel like her love is more of a means for what she wants but, that’s part of what I’m getting at, too. Kousuke interprets it as love, Kousuke believes that their family is unlike others and that they don’t show affection the same way, that nurturing isn’t the same, and that Yui wants what is best for him and guides him to that goal. On the flipside, we have Nol who, as far as we can tell thus far, had a mother who loved him and doted on him, was affectionate and warm and made him feel like he was special, gifting him with a special nickname. 
The foil goes further, too - Kousuke grew up wealthy and privileged, wanting for nothing, with the security afforded to the family heir who would go on to one day inherit the company and the fortune. Nol, on the other hand, we can tell didn’t have the same fortune as Kousuke, and we get the sense that the only abundance they had was of warmth and love. Or maybe that’s just my projection, haha. At any rate, we see the set up clearly: one is cold, lonely, but with all wants fulfilled*; the other warm and affectionate though they may not have had everything they wanted. 
It’s easy to see that Nol was nurtured. That he may not have had all materialistic wants met, but his basic needs were. When he first meets Kousuke, he exudes confidence and charm, he seems like a friendly child. We also can see in him, even if he buries it deep down, that Nol is deeply empathetic and understanding of people, and even if he did it for penance, he took it upon himself to help others - but more than that, he seems to intuitively understand what people need, because he understands the wants and needs of people. 
Kousuke, on the other hand, doesn’t have that same ability, because he lacks the experiences Nol has. When you’ve had to want for nothing* your whole life, when you are intelligent and successful, when you have every opportunity afforded to you, you grow to accept what you’ve been told your whole life: that you are the best, that you will go on to do great things, that you are above these other baser needs. It was through the internalized belief that becoming better will make his father love him, that he could earn his father’s love by being just like him, that he would impress him and receive the love and attention he craved. So Kousuke never developed that understanding of the importance of friendship and peers, never learned the strife and trials others endure. He knows he’s privileged, but he also knew that empathy was beneath him, because he had no need to engage with others, because he knows his place and it’s above others. 
We haven’t seen young Nol interactions with kids his age outside of the teasing about his name, but it’s safe to guess that he probably had a pretty decent childhood before he and his mother moved closer to Rand. Kousuke on the other hand admits that he knows no one likes him, that he lacks the personality and charisma Nol possesses, that he fears he acquired none of Rand’s good traits and only the ones that made him the most like him in the worst way. 
Idk this is something I like to talk and think about, because it’s not clearly not simply a story of have vs have nots, or, well it isn’t so cut and dry. Because to some degree I guess it is. Nol had something that Kousuke didn’t - that affectionate nurturing, someone who gave him reassurance and warmth, someone who made him feel love. Does Kousuke feel love towards his mother? Does he even feel love towards his father? At a very young age he internalized that love is different for them, and he also internalized a transactional sense of love. That he must be worthy of love, that he must earn it. He forsook the activities a normal child his age should have engaged in and instead set himself on a one-track quest to chase after the one thing he ever wanted but couldn’t obtain: his father’s love. 
Though it can be argued Yui loves Kousuke, it doesn’t negate that he grew up in the face of neglect, and that he so deeply internalized this neglect until it poisoned him and grew from him an ugly, thorny bush that has him deeply caught within it. I think that’s the thing that’s saddest to me about Kousuke - he had everything he could want but for the one thing he truly desperately wanted, and it clouded him so strongly that he couldn’t see beyond it. It turned him into someone jealous and unhappy, someone who couldn’t bear to live with the idea that someone else might have had what he wanted, that someone else had experienced it, someone who wasn’t (in his mind) good enough. 
Kousuke believes that in order to win his father’s affection, he has to be good enough. And how could this illegitimate child possibly be good enough to win it? This illegitimate child who was nearly a spitting image of Rand, who had a bright smile and laughed. This child who emanated every positive trait used to describe Rand - every positive trait Kousuke had never born witness to. 
And because Nol wasn’t good enough because he was insatiably jealous the fear took root. Fear that nothing he did would ever matter, fear that Nol who already had beat him when it came to genetics, could possibly best him again. 
That neglect played so heavily into Kousuke’s identity that he has yet to separate himself from it, has acknowledged the way he is driven by fear and jealousy, that he couldn’t bear the idea of Nol ever besting him and did all he could to tear him down, to ensure he never could. And that’s the thing - Kousuke wasn’t wrong, although he wasn’t correct, either. Nol could have bested him, just not the way he feared. And, until now, he had chosen not to.
That’s the biggest difference in where Nol and Kousuke foil each other. Kousuke was raised with cold, lacked the kind of warm nurturing Nol had, learned love to be transactional, and that neglect turned into want and grew into jealousy and fear so intense that he had to tear someone down. But where Kousuke was raised in a corporate family, by business minded people who had no room for empathy and certainly not for those beneath him, by people who needed to be cunning and make calculated choices, Nol was raised by someone who seemed to exude warmth and instill in him the kinds of morals that were beneath Kousuke. Nol came to this new home equipped with empathy, and also with a gaping hole of want. 
Over and over Nol reached out to Kousuke, wanting to help him fill that hole of his own, hoping for a companion, for a buddy, to be part of a team. That even if they felt small - and though Kousuke may have felt otherwise, Rand certainly made him feel small and not good enough - they could have been together, they could have lifted each other up. Nol learned at an early age what it was like to have an ally, to have someone on your side, to have someone you were able to show your weakness to. Kousuke never did; he had to be perfect at all times. He could never make a misstep, lest he disappoint father, lest he set himself back on his quest for his father’s love.
And this further came to manifest as they grew older. Where Kousuke’s neglect turned him jealous and fearful, Nol’s didn’t really externalize the way Kousuke’s did. Even though he was punched down by Kousuke and attacked, even though we know his experiences with Yui still cause him fear, even though he, too, suffers from disappointing Rand, Nol never really took it out on Kousuke, the way Kousuke did to him. I think there’s another reason to it, but I do think his sense of empathy played a strong role, here. As someone going through it, and worse, Nol understood what it was like to feel like you weren’t good enough, that no matter what you did you would never make a difference. Over and over again he appealed to Kousuke knowing he wasn’t good enough in his eyes, but hoping one day he would be. He understood! 
That’s not to say that he hasn’t fought back because we’ve certainly seen that throughout ILY Nol has started to push back more, that more and more his veneer has changed and he’s gone from obedient for the sake of keeping peace to going toe to toe with Kousuke and finally voicing his feelings. But I think even up until the night before his court date, Nol hoped one day  he would reach Kousuke, that maybe there was something left in him that was salvageable. 
But that’s not all! I think that’s the most obvious way that Nol and Kousuke foil each other, because it constitutes for so much of who they are, of their core identities. Nol made a point to distance himself from people out of both a fear that he would bring harm to others and a deeply held belief that he didn’t even deserve that kindness. And yet he still reached out to people who needed that help. Even though his motivation stemmed from a selfish place (his penance), it still was an act of kindness, it was still him empathizing with people and playing his part to benefit them. Kousuke, though, came from an environment that encouraged every man for himself, that there’s no good in softness, that you had to be hard to be strong you had to be above your feelings, that you had to be the best, that people were beneath you and you had to ensure they knew it. 
And yet, Nol and Kousuke both are SO SIMILAR in ways that they don’t seem to realize, I think, because they are so blinded by the very thing that makes them so similar. 
Especially at this current stage of the story, we see that both Nol and Kousuke are at war with themselves. Or rather, there’s a battle raging on within each of them, both of them contending what they believe to be true and actual reality. 
Kousuke has spent a long time projecting on Nol. We’ve been seeing it for many episodes, all the way back to the night he got drunk at the club with Kousuke and Yujing and all the voices he “heard”, people talking about him and saying things that were, frankly, true. Things that deep down he knows to be true of himself. We’ve seen him lie to himself on MANY occasions, usually to placate himself. We’ve also seen times he’s stated things with eyes closed, impying some kind of mask or lie. One that I remember off the top of my head really clearly was when Nol and Shinae were bickering about his jacket at dinner, and Kousuke told them they’re ridiculous, they’re acting like children. But looking back on it, doesn’t it feel more like a moment of Kousuke’s jealousy he spoke of? That Nol is someone so good natured and easy to get along with, that people just naturally get along with him. He doesn’t have these kinds of frivolous relationships with people, doesn’t even allow himself them because there’s no time he has better things to be doing. 
But by stuffing down these little truths, by squashing down his insecurities and fears, by lying to himself at each opportunity, Kousuke plays heavily into the world he believes in, and it’s clear to us readers that the world he believes in is not, in fact, true. 
Quimchee has talked before about how memory plays a role in this story - and that there isn’t one true memory, because everyone’s memory is biased by their own views, their own feelings. Memories are malleable - over and over you remember things and details change and you can’t quite recall what was or wasn’t true. 
Kousuke speaks with such conviction of things that aren’t entirely true. Even recently, he said to Nol “Do you know how much trouble I’m in with father because of you?” even though he’d just had a phone call with Rand reassuring him he was not, in fact, in trouble, and that all Rand wanted was to know they are safe. But it doesn’t compute with what Kousuke knows to be true - that Rand will be disappointed in him, that he is Nol’s keeper, that it’s his job to keep an eye on Nol, so he dismisses the truth and reverts back to his own version of things. 
Not only that, but even the aftermath of that call roughed him up and worked him up so much it set him off on a spiral. Kousuke was dealing with a lot that night, especially with what he believes is expected of him. He was already high tension long before Nol jumped into the pool, and long before that call with Rand, but by the time he shows up at the Parks’ house, he’s full on spiraling, ruder than usual, meaner than he tends to allow himself to look in front of others (he prides himself on being a gentleman and understanding the importance of decorum and a good public image). 
When reality tests his false reality, it sets him off. He can’t handle the dissonance between the two, is incapable of facing that what he deeply believes to be true may not be. Because if that isn’t true, what else isn’t it? And from what we saw after he punched Nol and he took that fall, there’s something buried deep in Kousuke’s subconscious that he cannot face, that he refuses to. Something that he is protecting himself from. 
“Sometimes those that experience trauma create falsified memories to cope.” 
Kousuke is speaking of Nol, but I’m pretty sure he’s projecting. He’s the one, I think, with the falsified memory (though I’ll get to Nol in a moment). He is the one who has come away from that night Nol was taken away the inherent belief that Nol is unstable and violent, that Nol attacked him, that he is constantly laying an attack on him. He’s paranoid of Nol at every turn and takes every success Nol has as a slight against him. Maybe Nol was planning all along to use Oxford as an opportunity to best Kousuke and threaten him. But Kousuke never even considered an alternative. I think there’s even a likelihood that he got in the way of Nol and Shinae’s growing friendship not only to isolate Nol again, but because that jealousy still eats him up: that Nol is so personable and likable, that he just has a way with people who end up genuinely liking him, whereas no one likes Kousuke; he lacks what Nol has that makes him so likeable. But anything Nol does that looks like success is a slight against Kousuke. He can’t bear to see him rise up, lest he ever rise high enough to eclipse Kousuke. 
And while it’s very believable Nol is the violent one - because we’ve seen him lash out already and we know about his punching bag and what angers does to him and how he relieves it - we also have to wonder. If Nol was the one who attacked, why was Kousuke the one huff huff huffing in his memory, just like after punching Nol? It doesn’t match up with Nol’s memory - asking what he did wrong insisting he didn’t do anything. We’ve already established memories can be falsified - so whose is? What is it that is so traumatic about this experience that Kousuke couldn’t clearly recall it? There’s a whole post to be said about that memory and why we should be wary of its accuracy based on the coloring but that’s not for me to write (someone else on reddit has said they are working on it and I look forward to it!) but the point is: Kousuke is probably the one coping with falsified memories, with a false reality. 
But he’s also not quite wrong, I think. Like I said, this is where Nol and Kousuke overlap in similarities. 
It’s harder to state for certainty regarding Nol, since it’s just conjecture at this point, but I think it’s safe to say that Nol’s inherent belief that he is a monster, that he is a villain, is part of a falsified reality, and I think his was born out of the time he spent in that mental facility. In fact, a lot of Nol’s other trauma reactions seem to be born of that time. He’s vehemently against medicine, he doesn’t like to be in hospitals, his entire reaction when he woke up thinking he was back at Hirahara Memorial alone is enough to deduce that the time Nol was there was awful and irrevocably changed him. Is that where the belief that he’s a monster was born? Was it through Kousuke’s emotional abuse and the time he spent in the mental facility that Nol came to regard himself so lowly, that he came to believe everyone is better off without him, that he can only bring danger and badness to people he cares about? 
We’re obviously missing a few puzzle pieces here, but I think it’s a safe guess. Did something happen to his mom as a result of her pregnancy or his birth, or is it more than something happened to her and he feels like it wouldn’t have if he’d never been born? It feels like something happened and he was made to internalize it. Not all “mental facilities” are good, and not all have the good of the kids in mind. And worse, with Yui’s connections to the hospital, it’s likely that what was “meant to be” help was the complete opposite. I feel like that’s why Nol has internalized it so deeply; it’s something that was pressed upon him at a vulnerable time and it completely changed the way he views himself and how he thinks he’s reflected to the world. 
Kousuke clings to his falsified reality for comfort, Nol hides in his because he has nowhere else to go. Kousuke is afraid of reality and the truth, Nol is incapable of even seeing it! And even here, where they are so alike, they still react differently. When faced with dissonance between his reality and actual reality, Kousuke externalizes it, starts spiraling and grows angry. (Or, we could say.... he becomes.... unstable?) Nol, though, internalizes his and delves deeper into that dark. 
Now, I’m not saying there’s no case for Nol having ever attacked Kousuke. But I also wonder if we aren’t supposed to think deeper on this. Nol looks like he’s violent based on this altercation with Kousuke and what we saw with Sangchul, and how hard it is for him to bite back his anger. But we also know Kousuke to be an unstable person - he struggles with reconciling truth with what he believes and when he gets overwhelmed and stressed, he becomes irascible and paranoid - and some of that paranoia seems to leak the truth he’s fighting. But that’s not what this post is about lol. 
The point is, both Nol and Kousuke are struggling to reconcile what they believe and what is really true. So much of Kousuke’s peace seems to hinge on what he believes - it’s so easy to tip the scale and lead him into a spiral as he fights off the truth. Control is what makes him feel powerful - not in just the lording over people way, but over his own mental state. He needs everything to adhere to what he believes, lest he have to face something he isn’t ready for, something that will change everything he believes. He needs to believe that what he knows to be true, because who is he, what is he, if it isn’t? What of the years he spent grinding and trying his best to meet someone’s approval if it was all in vain? 
But Nol struggles with his falsified reality because he believes himself to be dangerous and undeserving. Who is he, to think he deserves friendship, to think he deserves kindness? Who is he to think he deserves comfort. For what he believes he’s done, he must suffer and any form of peace is undeserved - even dying. But we see that he is starting to struggle with that - he has formed friends he thinks he doesn’t deserve and they care about him. He is allowing himself moments of relying on others, of accepting their comfort. How does he reconcile his internalized beliefs with what he is finding himself wanting?
If we are to take their drunken states to be indicative of some truths they cannot face - like Kousuke’s paranoia that people are talking about him, that they are saying horrible (but true) things about him as a reflection of how he sees himself and what he believes of himself, then Nol fighting with Alyssa and stating that he doesn’t even want to be there, that there’s somewhere else he’d rather be is indicative of the truth he is denying, seeing in a group of strangers the people he’s yearning for. Just because he doesn’t believe he deserves it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it. As much as Nol believes he’s a monster meant to be vilified, he still craves the comfort that comes from his friends. He still wants to be around people who DO love him, around people who see the good in him. 
They both struggle to reconcile this with reality. Kousuke can’t face who he really is, that he spent his whole life trying to earn affection that should have been given. He left no room in his life for anything he enjoyed because there was one desire that trumped it all, one reward that would justify the means. Who is he if what he believes isn’t true. What has he lived for, if he will never obtain his strongest desire? How do you live with yourself, when you realize that? So he runs from it, he takes shelter in something that makes sense, that makes him feel better, that grants him the control he needs. And Nol runs from his truth, because what he believes - that he is a monster - is something he can’t let go of, lest he bring more harm to people he cares about. He has to evade it, lest the truth catch him - that maybe he isn’t the monster he believes, that maybe he does deserve the love he craves. How can he continue to evade it, though, unless he continues to believe in his truth? 
I really look forward to seeing what Nol and Kousuke make of these scenarios, of whether or not they ever choose to accept/embrace reality (or if it has to be pushed on them). In a sense, they both reside in these falsified realities for a sense of control and security. Maybe Nol knows deep down that he can’t control what happens to the people he loves, so he just hopes by distancing himself he can control that much. They both face very difficult choices and have a lot of demons to confront, and I want to see they’ll ever find where they overlap again or if they will choose forked paths. 
It all boils down to this: Nol and Kousuke are both prisoner of their own minds, in some way. Neither of them can move forward until they tackle that, but it’s such an intrinsically woven part of them, how are they to shed that? That’s what I’m dying to see. 
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 8 months
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so the story goes, i was about to whack gatekeeper bc buddy i love u but ur not my mans and i was gonna get big mad
but then mans came home
...but he had terrible ivs
so i pulled again! thinking why not what if i actually get him again!
and in that moment i learned he still loves me.
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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there are very VERY few fictional characters i could openly say with my whole chest i’d be chill hanging out in the same room with but like kiryu, ryuji, shinada, and saejima ?? yeah they’re probably chill to hang with i prob wouldn’t run to the bathroom and escape through the window
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arklay · 1 year
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Your anger and sadness are so fucking justified. Stealing someone's oc is ridiculous. There's NO need to do that! You don't even need that much creativity to make your own, and if you're really stuck (like I get sometimes) just look towards canon characters or blogs dedicated to help building ocs. What's worse is tumblr's blocking system because, unless you block them on anon, it simply blocks their blog. They can log out and still view your blog! God I'm so sorry that this happened.
thank you 😭😭 i'm like so just horrifically angry right now that idk if i'm overreacting or if i was seeing things that weren't there, but no, the more i look and the more i match up the timeline of posts, it becomes extremely apparent to me that their oc is a copy of diana, and that really really hurts. and yes, i've cried a lot about it, because i talk about her so often and how much she means to me and how much just creative energy she gave me this year and the fact that i even write consistently now, so it hurts. i put a lot into her, so it's just really unfair, and like you said, blocking people on here is like hardly even effective
#asks.#anonymous#thank you for like validating my anger because i often feel a lot of guilt with my reactions and um idk like i feel like i am not allowed#to get angry in the first place because of like imposter syndrome and all that nonsense. but i just kept seeing things from that oc's story#and not just backstory but little facts or what were throw away comments and it just... everything. i could connect to diana. and the#colour scheme is similar too and the heights and the timeline and the little things about like ex-husband. working at nest. close to the#birkins. saw al as an annoyance at the start lmao like there's so much i could connect. and now seeing that their oc also injected themself#with a virus on a whim which i've talked about many times with diana doing and that he got very overprotective and worried afterwards with#it. like. all these things in isolation. fine. whatever. but when they all add up... it's ridiculous. like i'm just so hurt because i#constantly talk about how special diana is to me and how special they both are to me and i don't know what to do because i don't feel the#need to reach out and like accuse directly but it's like. they get away with that. and my ideas. and my character who has been around since#feb. i made her on valentine's day. i'm not even joking. so. i didn't post about her until early march. well i did but that's the earliest#in her tags because i delete posts a lot. went and looked at my oc blog and no there are still things from feb. but on here the earliest is#march. i'm just not doing great with it all i suppose. especially because i had something happen last week that made me really upset and i#was just getting back into like okay i'll post on here more often. and then i notice this and idk i'm rambling but i just feel really sick#like the realisation sunk in and i felt sick to my stomach so it hurts#but um thank you for saying all of this like it does mean a lot to me to know that my reaction is justified so thank you
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nonzero people podcasting about goosebumps the musical & it’s never enough. neither extensive enough nor enthusiastic enough & that’s coming from me which is the entire explanation for the assessment. 
on the same topic but a completely different point, i was just appreciating how extra fun i always find understudy buddy to be. and obviously i would like to think that maybe tina & the unit that is brooke & zeke are like, more neutral to amicable after the show lol. tina is a lot of fun as is, like, automatic shoutout to any character just being like, getting in the way being offputting / a pain and all powered by one’s own intensity, that’s fun & funny & who among us? and like yeah she’s also definitely doing the mean girl thing like, in the song as mentioned lmao like please, rein it in. and maybe she will, but then when other suspects are being kind of crossed off the list just before thee play she manages to just be regular supportive towards brooke, so that’s promising lol. and also just shoutout to the Fun of a lively antagonistic role, great stuff, delightful number for her there, and sure helping ramp things up. and zeke and brooke not just showing up for this one horror musical (also i would love to shoutout zeke’s plight there lmfao like, the experience of original readers of poto where the twist is “nah it’s not a phantom it’s just some wet pathetic guy” like he’s so hyped to be The Ghost Lead and then he’s like oh god i’m a romantic lead in a hole & i’m five & it’s embarrassing & i even know my counterpart irl (the bestie) like i guess technically the role’s a ghost by the end & good for the mystery mask wearing element being exciting still) but that they were unnamed ensemble members in guys & dolls & saw that through, they’re bringing support & appreciation for the theatre, & on the flipside tina might just enjoy the theatricality & attention from it but she was having a great time informing everyone that on top of their haunted school it’s a specifically haunted (cursed) play, so maybe she can also relate to zeke and brooke’s horror genre appreciation. and she might warm up at all to zeke when he’s cleared about the fact he wasn’t trying to prank their efforts into oblivion, at least to the same degree she can manage to provide regular supportiveness to brooke when it comes to it. and on the one hand, despite brooke and zeke sure seeming like that hell of an established unit like probably just have their [socializing at school] foundation covered by hanging out w/each other, they could let brian in on that easily enough for something of a triumvirate, but now not only are they bffs since 5ever who love a genre together, they sure had an Adventure in emile messing up by [you never try to scooby doo villain your way through it] but also doing it all wrong where they think You’re the danger here & that you’re going to murder them, plus it’s scary for real exploring the darkness elevator underground tunnels anytime, but also now they have this off the shits experience with that new guy friend who was a ghost for real. kind of its own bonding element & maybe you wouldn’t exactly let anyone else in on it, much less like, tina lmao. she might be interested in The Legend but she was also super interested in telling everyone all about it, and idk, difficult and weird to explain, thing it’d all be quite the stuff to process for one lol like sure we love drama and ghosts and attention too but it’s A Lot. ghosts are real and i online dated one except across time rather than space and he was just some guy hanging out and i also hung out with him sometimes but then in the end it got weird b/c he was the suspicious understudy all along and this role is really not coming through....but also hey, could talk about it all eventually, and tina’s got plenty of context already. next year’s cast n crew party for the last show, be like hey guess what, b/c we’re solidly amicable now also
plus being extracurricular buddies like, ms. walker head in hands dealing with these three menaces lmao....although zeke wasn’t Really up to that much, tina’s sure committed to the show, etc. and it’s like, being a student or teacher or anyone else at a middle school is just always gonna be like that. could really be worse, she can handle it. and maybe she can know of the lore also, she’s out here engaging in irl drama and lore about like avenging her grandmother’s theatrical aspirations, or none of this would be going on lol. get used to these three and actually they’re reliable really, maybe tina will have learned to better accept not getting the dream role, which will be an easier time for everyone. but it’s just always gonna be a handful lol but all these kids were also all about putting on the play too, actually, yes maybe some problems arose from messing around with the platform but they could’ve been worse problems (queues of ghosts in line for their turn at finally achieving one last goal of performing their part in this one damn play lol) and does seem like it’s engineering issues inherently rather than Just messing around backstage unsupervised which isn’t often otherwise going to be fatally risky, and maybe just give people a rundown about the riskiness of things that Isn’t emile’s botched effort where he mostly just made children afraid of Him. like idk, i did shop class throughout middle school, we avoided injury w/successful cautionary rundowns. brian’s one other last goal could’ve been about safety measures, but whaddaya gonna do. anyways point is, hanging out after school for theatre purposes and having an understanding and bonus patience affordance with the teacher in charge of this and maybe everyone gets to know the Real Ghost Story or maybe it’s zeke & brooke’s personal inside secret, it was already a shared adventure for all involved even if they didn’t get the Full story the way those two did, all of them are up for Drama and for Horror, they’re good to go. and good for them
#goosebumps the musical#like let's do a play by play of the show And this kind of meandering musing about any and all elements lmfao#funny when the [just some guy] was clearly not at all intending to murder them but so far as they know he might've. which yeah terrifying#and their Real Ghost was a just some guy new friend. brian truly just hanging out like yep what's up everyone. yeah i'll paint a set#and i can't get over book brian being all the more just So Nervous in general lmao that's like his whole thing#like is this some extra anxiety you get when you die & then have been a ghost abt it? maybe. or maybe he's just already like that.#either way lol. i Love how they talk abt maybe encountering an actual ghost via the platform & brian's like omgg nooo stopp ;m; too scary#if you're a kid who would've been scared of ghosts then....just b/c you happen to be one yourself. still like omg no stopppp#but zeke & brooke aren't too overly terrified of this possibility of Real Ghosts though it Is clear they're both scared in the abyss there#like. yeah fair. you're like eleven and that is scary for anyone and does involve various elements of not insignificant danger#and it's more fun when they Aren't utterly unfazed by everything happening in the story ofc. which they are not#and who knows maybe zeke's a bit put off about actual ghosts lmfao like he Did get ghost attacked. whoops#hopefully as simply disorienting as alarming rather than like yeah i had a whole fight for my life back there while gradually smothered#things that have you looking up folklore abt ghosts' breath stealing ability. like fatally or just a lil sip...#well i don't know. where is the fog patch haint warding tradition recited humorously from perhaps my grandma as the lore source there lol#not online i suppose. go figure. anyways theatres & ghosts & superstitions? already going on. the ghost light for sure. just add some more#and be all the more earnest with it lol. hey why do you always say ''brian no more of that shit please i don't care if you wanna be man 7''#might still be more like ''i hope emile who's an alive guy out there doesn't try to kill me :/'' lmao fr....#maybe he makes himself scarce a while but returns also. kids probably wouldn't tell a soul so long as he doesn't try to scare them abt it#kind of difficult to ask these children straightforwardly to just not say anything to anyone once they know you're here but#they probably don't wanna go exploring back down there again. did that. just don't haunt the plays or seem like you'll kill them#and like who knows maybe a lot of ghosts w/goals hanging around & they're generally Just Ppl in gb situations thusly#your new friend even if they're really more Mortal than you for the temporariness of it all; ideally#given that they Do have some goal to fulfill & then they'll peace out a ways. really hardly the worst gb style of situation to be in#it's the drama & mystery & theatrics....& the fun of like layers of genre awareness lol. you like horror & you know you're kinda in A Story#the play; the play having a mystery history & possible curse; school's haunted; someone's sabotaging you; fake janitor; suspicious behavior#and a couple of protagonists who are liable to go looking for some degree of trouble for the fun of it....#anyways what a setup. lot going on lol. lot that Did go on. including the show; congratulations to everyone just about
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pandoa · 2 years
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okay so, you have really interesting titles here... I mean, at least what I can imagine the stories are about. For tentative titles, they're really good! I wanted to ask about "The Phantom of Ramshackle" *organ sounds* but I actually got curious about Cater's "Every Piece of Me". Cater is a okay character for me but I love imagining he seeing reader having this moment of "I love all of you, Cater" its just <3333
ahhh cater's fic <33 cater was one of the first twst characters that caught my eye when i started the game so this idea stemmed from me crying over the fact that cater seems to often put up some sort of facade around others, like a mask he uses to hide from the people around him.
my idea for this was to mainly focus on cater's internal conflict with the developing feelings he has for the reader. what if you only liked him for his usual cheery personality? what would he do if he knew you were only there for his little facade? or even worse, what if you had seen through his false exterior and wished to stay? to take apart each and every mask he placed on himself and reveal the true side of the young man, cater diamond? the side he hoped to keep hidden away, especially from you? and what if... he had let you see for yourself, the real, genuine parts of his personality?
this will all be in cater's pov. sprinkle in a little angst but with some fluff or comfort at the end. i honestly have no concrete draft for this yet except for the small brainstorming portion i wrote jotting down all of my ideas for this fic lol. idk when i'll actually write this tho- all i know is that i want to work on it and i will eventually~
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godsandmonsters505 · 1 year
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Roll Like Thunder | Negan Smith
dbf!Negan Smith (The Walking Dead) x younger fem!reader
(AU where the apocalypse never happened)
Summary: Negan is your dad's best friend and the two of you settle some tension while on your family vacation.
Warnings (18+): age gap (reader is college age, maybe 20-ish, and Negan's age is not specified but I'm feeling early 50s), smut (fem receiving oral, unprotected p in v), possibility of getting caught, edging
Notes: this actually kinda turned out sweet in a way I think, which is surprising because that's not often an outcome when I write for Negan lmao. not proofread yet because I just wanted to get it out to you all asap, but will edit if needed when I get the chance. hope you enjoy!! (also the intro is kinda long oops)
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Grabbing your glass of wine you take another much needed swig, cringing at your dad and uncle. They always find some way to turn every conversation into a political argument while the rest of your family eat their meals and exchange knowing glances
Family holidays were always like this. The one time a year when everyone was together: your parents, aunt, uncle and cousins. Only this year, there was a new addition.
Negan had grown up being a close friends with both your father and uncle and they are still best friends to this day. He recently went through a messy divorce and this is his first Christmas without his wife in a long time. Your dad never was good with showing kindness or friendship, but your uncle had convinced him it would be a good idea to invite him to his cabin for your annual Christmas getaway.
And that's how you got here.
You'd always had a little bit of a crush on Negan, for as long as you could remember. Though you never saw much of him as a kid. It wasn't until you got older - old enough to be able to drink in front of your parents - that you got to spend more time with him. Drinking was a big part of their social life, so once you could join in, you got to know him better. You got on well with your parents so you'd have barbeques with them and their friends, join in with conversations in the kitchen when they'd have people over, go out to dinner. But then you went off to college and started spending less and less time with them. So now it's Christmas time, you're happy to be able to spend time with your family. And Negan, more than you'd care to admit.
"Okay fellas," your mom chimes in. "Enough of that."
Negan makes eye contact with you from across the other side of the table and you smirk at each other. You're both all too familiar with watching this from an outside perspective.
"The food's delicious, Negan," she adds, turning to Negan, who had cooked this meal for you all. Sort of as a thank you for letting him tag along. For the first few days in the cabin he felt a little out of place, like he was intruding on your family's time together. But eventually he began to find himself settling. You were lucky to have a very fun, non-judgmental family so everyone was happy to have him there.
You nodded in agreement with your mother's statement. "I'd have more if there was any left." You motion to your empty plate.
"I'm glad it's got your approval, ladies," he grins.
The meal comes to an end and alcohol starts flowing. Your cousins are all younger than you so they head off to their bedrooms to do whatever it is kids their age do.
"I'd better get these dishes cleaned," Negan declares, standing up from his seat.
"No," you say, protesting. "You cooked. I'll clean."
"It's fine, you don't have to," he says kindly.
"I want to," you smile. "Really I'm happy to."
"We'll do them together?" He suggests, coming to a compromise and you nod in agreement.
"You raised a stubborn one," he mumbles teasingly to your dad, patting his shoulder as he walks past him.
"She gets that from me," your mom chirps as the two of you pick the plates up from the table and carry them into the kitchen.
Putting the plates on the kitchen top, you head to the fridge and look inside.
"Beer?" you ask, peeking around the door to look at Negan's response. Though you already have two cans in your hand, knowing he won't turn down the offer.
He nods. "Can't do anything without a drink in hand in this family, huh?"
You close the fridge door and pass him his beer, cracking open his own.
"You should be more than aware of that," you tease. "I've heard what you and my dad used to get up to."
"I'm sure you've not even heard the most of it," he teases back.
You laugh softly under your breath at his response.
"I'll wash, you dry?" You suggest as the sink begins to fill with soapy water.
The two of you get the dishes done relatively quickly as Negan tells you a story from his college days. You have to keep yourself composed and remember who he is. Remember that these stories he's telling of him at your age took place before you were even born. A decade before, at least. But, every so often, as you pass him the plates to dry, your fingers touch his and such a small motion has you weak. You can't look him directly in the eyes as he stands so close to you. That signature grin of his spread across his face.
The two of your finish and you take a large swig of your beer, but it's no surprise that the flush of alcohol doesn't help your body heat. You can only hope and pray that your cheeks aren't beetroot red right now.
"I'm sure you've got plenty of stories, though, right?" He asks. "Being in college and all. And with your dad's genes...God."
A playful smile spreads on your face. "Sure. I'm absolutely not telling you though. My dad would have a heart attack."
"Ahh," he smiles back. "So this whole 'good girl' thing is just an act, then?"
Holy shit. Good girl? He has no clue what he is doing to you calling you things like that.
"I can be good when it suits me." You say, almost flirtatiously, and immediately kick yourself. Why the hell would you say something like that to him?
Your off-the-cuff reply has him grinning. He swipes his tongue over his teeth as he contemplates your words and you almost drop to your knees.
"Let's go see what political debate has become the talking point now," you say, changing the topic to hide your complete embarrassment. You leave the kitchen and head to the living room, Negan following.
Somehow, in the time it took you to wash the dishes, your mom and aunt have gone through a bottle and a half of wine, and they're sat on the floor with your dad and uncle playing some sort of drinking game.
You sit down on the couch and Negan sits next to you. Why? Why could he not just sit away from you? Give you some space to compose yourself? But the action is completely innocent. There is just less than a foot between the two of you, yet it still feels like he is on top of you. Like you're breathing the same air.
"What was I just saying?" Negan says, nudging your arm with his elbow. "Alcohol."
You shake your head in playful disagreement with your relatives' actions.
"Hey, mom," you say and her head whips around, as laughter escapes her lips. "Think you've had enough for tonight?"
"Oh, you're so boring," she waves her hand at you dismissively.
The four of them continue for about half an hour as you and Negan observe and laugh. The game finally comes to an end when your aunt and uncle discreetly head off to their bedroom for a reason you don't even want to think about. Your parents follow shortly after, your dad having to carry your drunk mom up the stairs.
You come back from the kitchen where you were getting another lager for you and Negan. As you do so, you look for the TV controller and find a blanket that was lying around. You sit down again next to Negan and look down at your phone to check the time.
"God, it's not even 10 o'clock yet." You laugh.
"Amateurs," he says sarcastically.
You pass him his beer which he thanks you for, then get under you blanket.
"Want some?" You ask, holding out some excess blanket towards him.
"Sure," he accepts, getting comfortable himself.
The whole situation you're in is completely innocent, but it dawns on you that you're currently alone with Negan, tucked under the same blanket. Given that fact, you make a conscious effort not to touch him at all and try to remain composed.
"Put a movie on?" You ask him, passing the TV remote to him.
He takes it from your hand, brushing his fingertips across yours.
You watch him carefully as he selects a film to put on, making sure not to get caught admiring him. He just looks so good. The salt and pepper sprinkled throughout his hair and beard. The tattoos that cover his arms. The way his white t-shirt hugs his body just right. You're brought out of your thoughts when he speaks.
"You seen Batman Returns?" He asks, looking down at you.
"Of course," you smile. "It's a classic."
"Feel like watching it again?"
You nod. You'll watch whatever he wants. Do whatever he wants.
"Absolutely," you answer. "I didn't peg you as a Batman kind of guy, to be honest."
"Like you say, it's a classic," he says. "Plus there's always Michelle Pfeiffer."
You laugh at him. "I feel you."
You polish off another beer as you watch the film. You try your best to pay attention, to keep your eyes open, but you grow increasingly tired. It must have only been fifteen minutes into the film when you finally drift off, reality slipping away.
When you wake up again, it takes a while to fully gain consciousness, You feel something under you head, under your arm, but you don't pay much attention to it.
You feel warm. Comfortable. You don't want to wake up, you could stay here forever. The smell of men's shampoo and cologne comforts you, a soft material under the touch of your hand.
All of a sudden reality dawns on you. You realise that your head is leaning on a shoulder. That your hand is draped across a torso. You shoot up, sitting upright and see Negan smiling at you softly through slightly hooded eyes.
"Oh God," you say, feeling incredibly humiliated. "I'm sorry." But he just chuckles.
You look over to the television and see a black screen.
"Did the movie finish?" You ask groggily and he nods. Fuck. You slept for the entire duration of the film and who knows how much of that time you spent laying on Negan's shoulder.
What you're only just realising now, though, is how close you're still sat to him. How even though you're sat up, Negan's shoulder is casually draped across the back of the sofa, dangerously close to your shoulder blades.
"Why didn't you just wake me up?" You ask, feeling flushed.
"You looked peaceful." He answers, honestly. "Didn't want to disrupt you."
"I'm sorry," you apologize again. "You should've woken me up."
"I didn't mind, sweetheart." He insists. "Honestly."
The pet name drives you utterly insane. As if this whole thing wasn't already enough. Your body feels so hot. What with the blanket, his body heat, your arousal.
"I will say though, you do talk quite a bit in your sleep," he smiles coyly and dread shoots through your entire body.
"Wh-what-" you can't even get a full sentence out. "What did I-"
A flash of a dream comes back to you in that moment. Oh God. Oh God, no. You can't remember the details, but you remember the feeling. Negan on top of you. His body weight on you. The ecstasy you felt. His hands on your body. His name slipping from your lips.
You had a sex dream about Negan while you were laying on his Goddamn shoulder. You're lost for words, but Negan is enjoying watching this play out. He bites his lip, trying to suppress his smug grin as he watches you realise the possibilities of what you might have said.
His arm slowly slips off the back of the sofa and creeps around to touch you, the movement making you flinch a little. What is he doing?
He takes his other hand and places two fingers just under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. The two of you make eye contact and you can't even contemplate what is happening - still a little groggy from your nap - before his lips are coming down gently on yours.
You kiss him back almost immediately. It's a surprising delicate and intimate kiss, and you daringly bring your hand up to his neck to pull him in deeper, but he pulls back.
You worry that he is having second thoughts, but the look in his eyes says the complete opposite. He just wants to get a good look at you before he tears you apart. You feel vulnerable under his hungry eyes but you love how it makes you feel.
The two of you take a moment to catch your breath before your lips join again, this time the kiss rougher. More passionate. His arms wrap around your back to pull your body snug to his and you intwine your fingers into his hair, tugging ever so slightly. His large hands snake further down and grab your hips, pulling you onto his lap. As you get comfortable you shift along his length and gasp, feeling that he is already hard.
"You were practically fucking dry humping me in your sleep," he chuckles. "You can't blame me."
"So that's why you didn't want to wake me up, then?" You're barely able to mumble, teasing him.
"Hmm, maybe." You can feel him smile into the kiss and it makes you want him more. Everything about him is so endearing. He just radiates this warmth, this aura, and it's radiating.
Even now, however, you're nervous to move things along. You know what you want but this is still so surreal, and it would be an understatement to say you feel a little intimidated in this moment. You have enough sexual experience, but this is Negan. This is different. So you're glad when he takes control and begins to lift up your top, pulling it over your head to expose your bra.
His mouth makes contact with the flesh of your chest, sucking and nipping while he reaches around to unhook your bra. He feels his cock twitch when he sees your bare breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth immediately as his warm hands roam and caress your back, travelling over your smooth skin.
As you start to subconsciously grind into his bulge, Negan continues to explore your breasts. You're looking for any kind of relief and you begin to find some as he presses up into you, but both of your pants are restricting you.
You feel yourself crumbling further and further as Negan's hands come around to aid him with his attention to your breasts, squeezing and practically groaning as he does so. The noise changes something inside you, and makes you realise that you need him stripped of his clothes right this second.
You grasp the bottom of his shirt and he briefly pulls away from you to allow you to move it, but the second you're done, his lips are back on your skin, leaving marks on your collarbone and neck. Next, you move onto the buckle of his belt but he swats your hand away.
Pulling back from the kiss, you look to him with wide eyes full of confusion. That look alone is nearly enough to cause him to fold and fuck you right then and there. But he has other plans.
"Be patient for me, honey," he says sweetly, and as badly as you want him, you trust him.
He pulls your body flush to his, so that your breasts are pressed entirely against the heat of his chest. Then he grips your lower back and stands up, holding you tightly.
"We can't do this here," he says, carrying you towards the stairs. You grind up against him playfully as he does so and he stops momentarily half way up the stairs, clearly affected by the action. In retaliation he gently swats your ass and you giggle at his response.
"Shh," he hushes, but he can't hide the grin that spreads across his face as you bury your face in his shoulder to muffle the sound.
Being as quiet as possible, he takes you into his bedroom which - awkwardly - is across the hall from your parents' room.
He puts you down on the bed, barely allowing himself to be away from you for a second, climbing on top of you hastily. He goes back to kissing you, the taste of him intoxicating. The way he kisses are gentle yet so hot and passionate at the same time, becoming increasingly sloppy as they shift from your lips to your jaw, neck, chest, abdomen, until you're a writhing mess beneath him.
Once he has kissed so far that he reaches the waist line of your trousers, he unbuttons them and pulls them all the way down. He throws them onto the floor, leaving you just in your lace black panties. He nudges your legs open and moves his kisses to your thigh. He's slowly breaking you and you're not sure how much more you can take. Painstakingly slow, he trails his tongue up your inner thigh until he reaches the edge of your panties.
Eventually he slips your panties off and you tremble as you feel the cool air of his room against your hot, aching core. He places his hands on your inner thighs to push them open further, mouth watering at the sight of you. The delicate touch of his fingers send shivers up your spine and you're in desperate need of more.
"Please, Negan," you say, barely a croak.
"Shh, let me take care of you," he soothes, his voice low and gravelly as he tries his best to stay quiet. "Wanted to taste this sweet pussy for so long."
As if to affirm his words, he lowers his head and licks a stripe straight through your folds, groaning as he feels how wet you are.
He then moves his mouth to make contact with your clit, your hips raising at the action. He starts off by sucking gently, leaving you aching for more as you reach down to grab his hair, not knowing what else to do. He chuckles as you do so and sends vibrations straight through your core. Unable to control yourself, a moan escapes you lips and he squeezes your thighs warningly, wordlessly telling you to be quiet.
He takes his time to precisely pull you apart, but then his motions begins to get harsher, faster. You feel that rising feeling in the pit of your stomach begin to spread after waiting for what feels like so long. He alternates between kissing, sucking, licking, nipping until you're desperate for more. Sensing this, he teases one finger at your entrance.
"Please," you whimper, legs trembling. He answers your pleading by pushing his single digit inside you in one long push, as deep as he can go, and keeping it there momentarily. As he continues to eat you out, he begins moving his finger, fucking you gently. When he adds a second finger you have to clasp your hand over your own mouth to stop yourself from calling out his name. Your legs wrap around his head, wanting to pull him closer to you in any way possible.
Closing your eyes, you feel that white hot feeling flooding through your veins, but right as you're about to reach your peak, he pulls his fingers out and his mouth away from you.
You let out a guttural sound, one of desperation which causes Negan to laugh under his breath.
"Negan, God, please," you whine, putting both your hands on his head and pushing him back down.
"So bossy," he mumbles with a smile on his face, but he obliges.
He doesn't use his fingers on you again, but it makes no difference. You're already pent up enough as it is that it won't take a lot to make you reach your peak. Plus, you don't doubt that Negan's skillful mouth is more than enough for you.
He circles his tongue around your clit, going back to sucking while using his free fingers to absentmindedly trace little patterns into your thighs. The only noises are your heavy pants and the wetness of his mouth against you, and it fills the otherwise deadly silent bedroom.
He's starting to become more familiar with your body and your reactions and he can tell you're getting close again. To which he stops and pulls away yet again.
"Negan," you almost cry. Tears prick in the corners of your eyes as you throb for him. "Please, I need to-"
"I got you baby," he assures you, stroking the flesh of your thighs comfortingly.
You can't bare it. You almost despise him for doing this to you, but you can't. It's all so surreal: having this man between your thighs. So often you have fantasized of it and though it's so wrong, it's now happening.
Before you can beg again, his lips make contact with you. This time he's a man on a mission. His tongue flicks against your clit as two of his fingers slip back inside you. You're so wet that it's an easy motion, but you still feel the tight, delicious stretch. He allows you to get used to it, building you up until he adds a third finger and you have to use all your power not to yell out his name. You try your hardest not to hurt Negan by squeezing your thighs too much or pulling his hair too hard, but he loves it. He loves driving you crazy, seeing you unwind for him. The noises you make. The taste of you.
Relentlessly, he penetrates you with his fingers, pushing and curling his fingers deep inside you, hitting a spot that eventually brings you your release. One last push, one last flick of his tongue and you're falling over the edge. You squeeze your eyes shut and you can't help the animalistic sound that leaves you as white flashes behind your eyelids. He continues eating you out through your orgasm and it hits you that you think you're doing something you never have before.
Once you manage to come around again, you let your legs relax and look down to Negan who looks up at you. He smiles smugly, your wetness remaining in his beard and it causes you to go weak in the knees.
"Did I just-?" Squirt, you want to say. But somehow it doesn't seem like the nicest word to describe what just happened between of the two.
He nods with a glimmer in his eyes as he makes his way up the bed, his body above yours.
"I've never-" you croak. "I've never done that before."
"You just needed a man, that's all," he gloats and you roll your eyes. "It was hot as fuck, for what it's worth."
He leans down and places a soft kiss on your lips. You can taste yourself on him.
You're still shaking a little, but you manage to pull back a little to look him in his eyes.
"Are we really doing this?" You ask, bordering on timid.
"Do you want to?" He counters.
"Yes," you say, quickly, not wanting him to think you're having doubts. Because there is absolutely no doubt in your mind that you want the man above him. Hell, you need him. But somehow you find yourself feeling a little insecure and needing reassurance. "Do you?"
"Darling," he laughs. "Not to be crude, but you just came all over my face. I want this more than you know."
You nod and smile, feeling more confident. "I'm sorry, I just-"
He interrupts your babbling with a long kiss to your lips, silencing you.
"You need to worry less," he says, bringing his hand to stroke your cheek sweetly.
"Make me." You propose flirtingly, smiling up at him.
"That I can do." His lips crash down on yours and his tongue intertwines with yours.
Reaching down to his pants you fumble with his zip, which he helps your shaky hands undo. He shifts both his pants and boxers down off his ankles, and though you can't see his length fully from this angle, you can feel its hardness press against your lower stomach and he feels big.
"You ready, baby?" He raises his brow at you as he grips his member and teases it through your folds.
"Yes, please Negan," you pant, even after having the best orgasm of your life, you still need more. "Need you inside me."
He groans as he slips inside of you and the way you practically beg for him drives him crazy.
"So fucking tight, holy shit," he mumbles into your ear, his head dropping down to bite and suck on the crook of your neck. "Oh, baby, fuck."
Hearing him say such obscene things affects you in an indescribable way. His voice has always been massively attractive to you, but now...you're done for. The deep rumble, smooth like honey, even lower in an attempt to remain quiet to your family in the surrounding bedrooms. It's like dark magic. It has you hooked. He could say the right thing to you with that voice and you'd cum right there and then.
His movements are slow, savoring the sensation of you around him. He wants to take his time with you. He never wants it to be over.
Instinctively, you wrap your legs around his back and lift your hips up wanting more from you. He maintains his pace, but does start pushing deeper inside you like you wanted.
"I've wanted you for so long," you say, not even in control of your words anymore. It's like he's fucking them right out of you. He moans into your neck at your admission and starts thrusting a little faster, as if in response to your statement.
"Do you know-" he stops speaking for a moment to breathe and compose himself, clearly enjoying this as much as you, "how often I get myself off thinking about you?" He punctuates his point with a particularly hard thrust and that - in combination with the idea of him masturbating to the thought of you - causes you to cry out. You thought he would shush you, but he seems too far gone at this point.
"A fucking pretty little thing like you," he says, his hands groping at your tits, his touch rougher than before, "it'd be hard not to."
"Oh god," you whimper. "Harder, please."
His movements get harsher gradually, following your command and getting you closer and closer every second.
He lifts his head up and the way he looks at you makes your insides collapse. To be the sole object of his attention. How he looks at you like you're all that ever mattered.
"I'm so close, Negan," you tell him.
"Taking me so fucking well, darling," he praises, reaching one hand down to lazily play with your clit. That's all it takes and he can feel it coming as you begin to squeeze around him. He takes your lips in a long, sensual kiss as you climax, trying to muffle your moans as he fucks you through your orgasm. Your hands are wrapped around his back, squeezing into his shoulders as you try your hardest to be quiet. Pure pleasure surges through your veins as he presses his entire body weight into you: suffocating in the most beautiful way possible.
Gradually, Negan's movements come to a halt and he stops moving inside you briefly, letting go of you come down from your high.
"You're gonna be the fucking death of me," he declares and before you can reply, he suddenly starts moving inside you again, faster than the last time, placing a quick peck on the tip of your nose as he does so.
He soon reaches a pace much faster than before and you're rendered speechless.
Your attention is grabbed, however, by the open and shut of a door somewhere. You gasp and your eyes widen at the sound. The possibilities of who it could be and if they'd heard you start to race through your mind but your thoughts are cut off when Negan clasps a hand firmly over your mouth to keep you quiet. He presses you further into the mattress as he fucks you even harder than before, enjoying tormenting you.
You listen closely to the footsteps. They're quite loud - that of a man - probably your dad or uncle. The pitter patter grows closer and your heard races, both from the fear of getting caught and from the sensation of Negan deep inside you. Hitting places you're sure no other man ever has or ever could. You relax a little as you hear the footsteps pass Negan's bedroom and head into the shared bathroom, the door closing afterwards.
Negan takes his hand off your mouth and you gasp for air.
"Oh my god, please don't stop," you beg as he sets a pace and sticks with it, snaking his slender fingers back down to your clit and circling it gently.
"I don't plan on," he chimes. "You're taking me so well."
You've never felt anything like this. Your entire body is numb and slick with sweat. All you can do is grab onto his hair and try your best to lift your hips to meet his thrusts.
To help you out, he grabs your body and switches positions slightly. He lifts himself up then clutches your thighs, lifting them onto his shoulders. Then his hands grip onto your hips and he has access to you in a way that allows him to go much deeper. You know you can't take much more. You're close to crying just from how much you want to scream his name.
Your eyes keep fluttering shut but you force them opening, wanting to keep them on the man doing this to you. His tousled hair, his flexed biceps, his tattooed chest.
"Harder, please," you whisper. "I'm nearly there."
Thrusting harder, he also adds his fingers back to your clit, rubbing harshly. It's almost painful on your sensitive nerves but it feels unreal and it's enough to build you up to near-ecstasy.
Your mouth hangs open but you refrain from making any noise. In one unexpected motion, he lands a slap to your clit and it sends your orgasm rushing.
"Good girl, that's it," he guides you through as your body starts to spasm.
He continually pounds into you and turns his head to the side to place soft kisses to your inner thigh, contrasting the way he now ruthlessly moves inside of you.
You contract around him as you cum and you can tell he is trying his hardest to hold on as he visibly hesitates, not knowing where to release.
"Cum inside me, Negan," you give permission. "Want it so bad."
Those words were all he needed as he spills inside you, the warm liquid filling you.
Gradually, his movements slow down as he fucks you through the both of your orgasms, fucking his cum deeper inside you, and then pulls out and collapses next to you.
You rest your head on his shoulder and to your surprise, he pulls you closer to him, placing a kiss to your forehead.
"Holy shit," you giggle, the whole situation setting in.
Negan's about to speak but his sentence stops forming when the bathroom door opens and closes again. You'd completely forgot about that.
The two of you exchange a glance as you wait for the footsteps to disappear down the hallway. Once they're gone, you relax back into his embrace.
Absentmindedly, you place your hand on Negan's warm chest, tracing the ink of his tattoos. Its surprisingly comforting having him this close, to be held by him. You're entranced by the smell of his cologne and the way his chest heaves up and down, catching his breath. He smiles as he watches you, equally as entranced by you. He can't quite believe that the daydreams he thought were exactly that - daydreams - have come to life.
"We'll have to do this again," he grins coyly, "some place where you can scream my name as loud as you need to." His hands run over your body, cupping your breasts as if to appreciate as much of you as possible.
"I'd like that," you smile back, snuggling into his arms. You know you can't stay here all night, but you'll appreciate it for as long as possible.
3K notes · View notes
nc-vb · 1 year
Note
DONT FORGET ROT FOR THE MALE MOANING AUDIOS
My dear, I'm going to use this ask of yours as a catalyst... All of my personal favourite ASMRs, vids, etcetera... beneath the cut. Not all of them are only male moaning! Literally just all my faves I've collected LOL.
Links will not only be audios; a majority of them are videos.
Links will be from any of the following: Twitter, the Hub, Audiomack, Soundgasm, and likely other sites, so be prepared because they're not labeled, lol. And sorry if any of the links are repeated; my bad.
BUT YES, THE MALE MOANING AUDIOS UGH 😮‍💨
BLUE TEXT MEANS NEW LINKS HAVE BEEN ADDED.
Links with sparkles are my personal faves.
Edited, more added July 21, 2023
CerberosVA Now, if y'all like your man extremely vocal, if you like whimpering, or lowkey, you like the whole subby bf thing, PLEASE, THIS MAN, I cannot recommend his shit enough. He's on twt, the hub, probably the mack; please support his official work on Patreon, if you can.
x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x
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softxwarm (hub) This guy does both asmr and stuff with his girlfriend, but his solo ASMRs are pretty coo'. I'll just share my top three since you can just sift through his videos, anyway.
one (video; solo) | two (video; solo) | three (video; solo)
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moonxx911 (twt) ANYTHING by this man. I won't even both being specific; I listen to his shit on repeat, rotated.
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Akiradubs (hub) He mostly does character dub audios, but he has some simpler ones that I enjoy, like this one.
one (audio, gn!; sub male, ig?)
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RedactedASMR I haven't gotten so deep into the lore of it, but Redacted has a whole series of ASMRs that tell long ass stories, so if you have the time, I recommend searching him out. I believe most of them are on YouTube? Personally, Lasko is my favourite (he's so cute with the stuttering, ughhhh). I'm just going to link my personal Redacted playlist I've started, rather than link specific ones. You can find him on more platforms, but I don't think his n/sfw ASMRs are on Youtube... idk.
ncvb RedactedASMR playlist (the mack)
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SeikyuuVA (hub; also on the mack) Look, Seikyuu isn't everyone's flavour... there's only a couple specific ones I enjoy, just because he really goes over the top with the sounds and aggression sometimes, LMAO, and it gives me second hand embarrassment...
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Lxvesickk (twt) Just found him, hehe. Just listen…
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WickLuvsU (twt) His audios are... immaculate.
X | X (play these both at the same time... you're welcome.)
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Video Links, general
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 ✨ | 19 | 20
21 | 22 ✨ | 23 ✨ | 24 | 25 ✨ | 26 | 27 | 28 ✨ | 29 ✨| 30 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 ✨| 36 ✨| 37 | 38 | 39 ✨| 40 ✨
41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 (mmf✨)| 46 (aud✨)|
Video Links, mlm
I had to put these links in a separate post because I reached Tumblr's 100 link-per-post limit? Didn't know that was a thing. So, please find them here! There's about 80+ links.
Video Links, wlw
1 | 2 | 3
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Characters Like, the fake dubs. I dunno what they're called.
Hanma Shuji (hub, audio; Akiradubs) Zhongli (hub, audio; Akiradubs) Akira/Joker (hub, audio; Seikyuu) Take this Audiomack link, too; it's my other personal playlist that has a shit ton of character ASMR dubs on it, and then some...
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I'll have more to add along the way; keep an eye on the update date!
3K notes · View notes
ayyy-pee · 1 month
Text
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Discord 18+ - Twitter 𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂: 𝙄𝙏'𝙎 𝘼 𝙎𝘾𝘼𝙉𝘿𝘼𝙇!!
In celebration of reaching 3,000 followers on Tumblr, it seems ayyypee has decided to host her very first collab!!! The theme is Celebrity Scandal!
What are your favorite celebrity anime men, women or you (the reader) up to these days? New relationships? Maybe a nasty breakup or divorce. Cheating? Leaks, Murder, Cover ups?! There's so much to report on and so little time. But rest assured, The Jujutsu Journal will find out. Someone is always watching.
Status: OPEN
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𝙍𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨
✩˚。⋆ This is an 18+ collab! Minors dni
✩˚。⋆ All characters portrayed must be 18+ (No aging up of minor characters pls, but if there is a canon timeskip, that's fine. Just write them as their adult selves.)
✩˚。⋆ It does not have to be only an x Reader pairing!
✩˚。⋆ Open to ANY fandom (Even though it says Jujutsu Journal lol)
✩˚。⋆ You can join with as many fandoms and as many characters as you wish
✩˚。⋆ Both NSFW and SFW works are allowed!
✩˚。⋆ If you use any topics that need a warning, please use warnings and tag appropriately!
✩˚。⋆ That being said, dark content is fine as long as it is not any of the following: Non-con, r*pe, beastiality, incest/stepcest, pedophilia
✩˚。⋆ No particular format or word length required. And you can even do art! Just let me know what you’ll be doing!
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𝙃��𝙒 𝙏𝙊 𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙍
✩˚。⋆ To join, please send me an ask, or you can dm me! Also I'm nosy so let me know what your idea(s) are! Like Stalker!Paparazzi Sukuna x Reader LMAO)
✩˚。⋆ The deadline for submission for the collab is June 30th
✩˚。⋆ I would also REALLY appreciate it if people reblogged this post so that it's boosted!
✩˚。⋆ Please tag me in your works and use the tag: #JujutsuJournal after you're done. I'll add it to my Masterlist and reblog it on my account! I know the tagging system is bonkers right now though, so if tagging doesn't work, you can just send me an ask.
✩˚。⋆ If you have any other questions, just let me know!
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𝙈𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏
𝙂𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙥 𝘾𝙤𝙡𝙪𝙢𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙍𝙚𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝘿𝙪𝙩𝙮:
JUJUTSU KAISEN
@ayyy-pee - actor!nanamikento x fan!reader, model!shokoieiri x model!ioriutahime x videographer!reader
@tojiscumdumpster - stalker!model!naoya x journalist!blackreader
@bungalowbear - stuntman!toji x actress!reader
@lost-immortality - DELICIOUS FANART (Characters updated later)
@lemonlover1110 ✩ HEADLINES - actor!toji x reader sukuna x reader
@xo2dee - actress!yuki x actress!reader
@yasu-1234 - tailor!higuruma x movie star!reader
@fizee: ✩ Non Disclosure Agreement - ceo!naoya x femdom!reader
@mysteria157 - celebrity chef!reader x food critic!nanami
@toasted-ry3bread - nanami x actress!reader
@pattycakes5516 - ✩ What It Takes to Win - probasketballplayer!suguru x criticalsportsanalyst!reader
@kentocalls - manager!geto x idol!reader, farmer!satoru gojo x actress!reader
@violetsaffron5 - nepo-babystalker!gojo x reader
@hyperfixationsporfavor - actor!sugurugeto x director!reader
@brujawrites - nepobaby!gojo x interviewpersonality!reader
@storiesoflilies ✩ cherry cola, cigarette kisses - guitarist!toji x singer!reader
@joontroverted - WWE! Yuki Tsukumo
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©ayyypee, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, reupload or modify my work to other accounts and platforms. please ask before translating any of my works!
Banner Credit: @benkeibear!
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ddejavvu · 1 year
Note
can I request a James potter version of him having sex tapes/nudes of the both of you on your phone <3 and James is similar to Remus in that he isn’t too worried about the marauders accidentally seeing because he trusts them LOL but anyone else is a hard no lmao
Thanks x
"Remus," James calls from the kitchen, apron around his waist and curls flopping over his face, "Would you check the recipe, and tell me how much tomato paste I need? I screenshotted it."
"Yeah, mate," Remus groans, "Just gimme a sec."
"I don't have a sec," James prods, stealing a glance over at the living room, "Can you just get off your arse and do it?"
"I'll look," Marlene offers, and suddenly James is no longer tied to the stove.
"No! No," James lunges for the device that's balanced on the arm of the couch, a song playing through the speaker that's setting the ambience for the room, "Uh, I can do it."
"What's on there," Marlene's eyes narrow, "Mary...?"
"Right behind you," Mary grins, and as a pair, the girls lunge for James, "Now!"
He screams, shrill and panicked. They tackle him, but he tosses his phone across the floor, praying it hasn't shattered as it slides over the kitchen tiles.
"What's on there?" Marlene digs her knees into his waist, smirking down at him, "Embarrassing mirror selfies?"
"No!" James huffs, only straining harder against Marlene as he sees Mary step back into his line of sight, phone in hand, "Don't look!"
"I'm looking," She cackles, and James finally uses all of his strength, not concerned anymore about the way he shoves Marlene to the side. If she hits her head, that's her fault.
"Absolutely not," James snatches the phone from her hands just before she can click on his photos app, "No one gets to see m'girlfriend's tits but me, thank you very much."
"I could have seen a titty picture?!" Marlene's mouth falls open, "No fair!"
"Hey! If she wanted you to see 'em she would have shown you by now." James huffs, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to add the tomato paste."
"She has shown us," Marlene snickers, watching as James stands stiff, frozen in place, "What do you think we do at sleepovers, Potter?"
4K notes · View notes
withleeknow · 21 days
Note
i think you'll do well with requests bc they seem to be popular in the fanfic side of tumblr! but even if it doesn't take off that quick, at least that'll be less overwhelming bc some ppl can be so demanding....anyways, i hope the best for you in this new journey haha 💝
me personally, i'm not very creative so i'll leave the details to the professionals (aka you) but i'd like to req something from minho's pov. i think those type of stories are SEVERELY lacking in the lee know fics department lol 🥲 it could be a childhood friends to lovers where he is pining for oc but he has a lot of self esteem issues and thinks she's not interested in him. also a big softie and just all around head over heels for her. you can add your magic! (if this is even remotely interesting enough to write lol i just want a minho pov tbh shsjjfjdjdj 😭)
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light years.
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summary: three times minho bites his tongue, and one time you don't let him.
pairing: minho x f!reader genre/warnings: childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst; kissing, cursing, so much pining i could hurl. could this have been more edited? oh absolutely lmao but i actually don't hate it sooo this is what we're going with :p word count: 4.2k note: to the first anon, thank you so much for your kind words! :') and i'm sorry that this took me longer than expected. i was trying to figure out what i wanted to write for your prompt but then i got the second request with the song and i thought they would go nicely together hehehehe i hope the both of you enjoy thissss
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
navigation / request masterlist / ko-fi
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I'm not sure what it means to love But I blink kind of slow around you I'm not sure what it means to love But I'll grow wherever you do What that means, I don't have a clue
I'm Not Sure - Margeaux Beylier
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One.
Minho is 18 years old, and he doesn't know what love is, doesn't really care for it at all.
While his friends are out there wrapped in the clutches of young love - the kind that blooms with stolen glances in classrooms and sticky notes passed in secrecy, Minho finds it simply unnecessary. He doesn't understand it whenever Hyunjin whines about not having a girlfriend because they're still young, they've got all the time in the world for romance later down the line. It's not the end of the world like Hyunjin laments it is.
Minho has his own life to prioritize. College is starting after the summer and he still needs to figure out how he's going to cope with the absence of his cats once he moves away. He's got dancing and he's got his other hobbies to keep him fulfilled and occupied.
And above all, he's got you.
You're getting ready for your sister's wedding when it happens for the first time. Or rather, when it doesn't happen.
You step back into the room where Minho is waiting for you on the sofa, his gaze resting idly on the screen of his phone, scrolling absentmindedly through his friends' group chat even though he has no interest in whatever they're talking about. You cough lightly to indicate your return after disappearing into the bathroom minutes prior to change into your dress. He looks up upon your soft announcement, and when his eyes settle on you, he swears it feels like an invisible force has collided with his chest and knocked all of the air from his lungs.
Throughout all his years of knowing you, inseparable from childhood until now, Minho has never seen you like this - all dolled up with your hair falling over your collarbones, cascading over your shoulders in soft waves that beckons him to run his fingers through. The light blue dress hugs you beautifully, the silky material catching the light from outside the window every time you shift on your feet under his steady gaze.
"So...?" you ask, moving your arms awkwardly behind your back like you're not sure what to do with them. "What do you think?"
What does he think?
Minho thinks you might just be the prettiest girl in the world. He thinks he must have been an idiot his whole life, to have spent most of his waking hours beside you and not once has he noticed how truly breathtaking you are. He thinks about the feeling that spreads in the pit of his stomach, sends warmth throughout his body and makes his heartbeat race a million miles an hours.
Your best friend blinks slowly as he savors the warmth that he's never experienced before. It's similar to the feeling you get when you're sitting under the shade of a big tree on a summer's day. It's comparable to the satisfied tranquility you get after you've just finished a hearty meal. A little hazy in your contentment.
It's not until you probe with a pointed Well? that Minho realizes he's been staring at you in silence for a few minutes now. He swallows thickly, willing away the words that he wants to say but they get lodged in his throat. He reckons it's weird to verbalize them, because it's not how the two of you function. You don't often utter that kind of sentiment out loud and he doesn't either. Never have and likely never will.
In the end, he bites his tongue. "You look presentable," is what he settles on.
You roll your eyes, then reward him with a laugh.
Minho doesn't care about love. He only cares about you.
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Two.
Minho is 21 years old, and he's gotten used to his heart beating erratically whenever he's in your presence.
Three years flew by in the blink of an eye, and graduation is just around the corner. You've always done well in school, straight A student with a track record that most could only dream to have. You put in the hours, you do the work. You deserve everything that you've achieved.
But it's been a challenging few months for you both, being seniors and all. He's had to watch you struggle to stay on top of your classes while also having to slave over a thesis 24/7 until you were sure it was perfect. It reduced you to tears a few times, and Minho was there to hold your hand through it all.
He held you in his comforting embrace when you wanted to give up. He made you dinner when you were too immersed in your schoolwork to notice that you'd forgotten to eat. He was your biggest support system; if it weren't for him, you don't know if you would've made it through.
It's hot outside today, a little unbearable but not uncharacteristic for June. Minho waits in a familiar hallway, the same hall that he's walked past for hundreds of times over the past few years, the same hall that he won't see again once he holds a degree in his hands in only a few weeks' time.
As he sits on an old wooden bench, he bounces his leg as if he's one of the people in the classrooms that line the hall. He doesn't have to be on campus today, but here he is regardless because you're scheduled for your thesis defense this morning. You're in one of those rooms, probably also bouncing your leg from the overwhelming nerves. Minutes feel like hours; you went in there a while ago after he had sent you off with a pat on the head and an encouraging Godspeed.
He's nervous for you, but he's sure that you'll do great. Years of hard work accumulating in what must be the most important moment of your academic journey. You even stayed up all night last night, refusing to sleep a wink just to revise your arguments and talking points.
Minho's head snaps up instantly as he hears a door creak open, the sound of it reverberating throughout the empty hallway like a gong announcing your return from battle. It takes you a few seconds to step out of the room and into his line of sight. He can't see you very well with all this distance between you, but he can still make out the way your frame is visibly shaking with every step you take. He rises to his feet, and you break into a sprint.
He opens his arms wide - a hug of consolation or congratulations, he doesn't know yet - but he still can't seem to brace himself for the collision. You run straight into his embrace, your warms wounding around his middle tightly. Minho feels your tremors, hears your sniffles from where you're pressing your cheek against his shoulder.
"How did it go?" he asks gently.
You start crying then, and he doesn't know if the tears that his shirt is soaking up are those of joy or of grief, but he holds you through it anyway. He swears he can feel every single beat of your heart, hammering so wildly as you're pressed against him like you could sink into him if only you'd push just a little bit more.
"I passed," you say in between sobs. "I got an A."
Minho heaves out the breath that he's been holding ever since you entered that classroom, but it's not like he had any doubt about it to begin with. He hugs you tighter than he's ever had before, and he loves you just the same.
You two must look so dramatic, all wrapped up together in your own little bubble, but who the fuck cares? Although, when another student passes by and coughs, you do break away from him, a little embarrassed for a second.
Even with your hair all mussed up and your flushed cheeks stained with tears, he still thinks you look the same as you did when you were 18 at your sister's wedding. The prettiest girl in the world.
Minho wipes away the wetness on your face with his sleeves, then swipes with gentle thumbs at the moisture that's gathered along your lash lines.
"Holy fucking shit," you breathe out, your shoulders sagging with evident relief, so much more relaxed now that you've done it. "I can't believe it's finally over."
Your best friend can't entirely agree, because he's always believed in you. He's had faith in you since the beginning, since you were mere children laughing and crying together on the playground. You were meant to do great things, this was always crystal clear to Minho.
I love you, he thinks as he smooths a hand over your hair, his chest swelling with nothing but pride and fondness for you. You did so well.
But it's not what he ends up telling you. He swallows it down, washes it away with a dose of regret and longing. He's still not the type to express sappy sentiments, and he's grown accustomed to adoring you only in secret.
"Let's go," he says softly. "I'll buy you dinner."
Minho is still young, he's still got his whole life ahead of him, but he knows what love is now. He knows that it's you.
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Three.
Minho is 24 years old, and he finds it hard to make peace with the fact that you're starting to get out there, that you're finally going on dates now that academics aren't taking up most of your time anymore.
To be fair, none of the guys you've seen have been graced with a second date, and Minho thanks his lucky stars whenever you return from a night out and text him a simple Not it. He knows that it wasn't your decision in the first place, that your mom and your sister have been setting you up on blind dates because they want to see you bring a boyfriend home.
You complain about it all the time, whining about how you're not interested but your family is adamant on it. Minho is well aware, and yet, there's a part of him that's a little shaken, because what if? What if the universe miscalculates and the stars misalign just enough in his misfortune for you to cross paths with someone who's absolutely perfect for you? Someone who's a good man that can give you what you've always deserved to have.
He really doesn't know what he would do if that happens. When it happens?
He doesn't know why you're here tonight either, sitting on a chair on the other side of his kitchen island in a pretty dress when you're supposed to be going on a date in half an hour. The guy apparently works for a big record label, some producer that your sister knows through a friend of a friend.
You look indifferent, kind of bored, as you watch Minho makes dinner for himself. "You seem miserable," he comments, taking a quick break from chopping vegetables to glance up at you. You do look a bit miserable, but you're still the most beautiful in his eyes.
You throw your head back and groan loudly, "Because I am. God, I don't know why they keep making me do this. These guys always give nothing."
"Please elaborate."
"They're all boring suits with tedious routines." you say, and as absentminded as your tone is, it sounds a little pointed to Minho's ears. "They don't make me laugh."
Do they not make you laugh, or do they not make you laugh more than I can?
"Then don't go," he snickers, though there's no humor in his voice at all. "These guys sound like duds. Just tell your sister to fuck off."
"Do you mean that? Do you really think I shouldn't go?"
And there's something in your gaze, something so suddenly expectant in the way you're looking at him that makes Minho wonder. If he says yes, would you listen? Would you stay here with him? Would you stay here for him?
I'm serious. Don't go. You can have this and I'll make myself ramyeon. Just be here with me.
You both stare at each other on either side of his kitchen island for an infinite stretch of time. He feels like your eyes are trying to tell him something that he can't decipher, as if they're sending him signals in a language that he never learned how to read.
For a second there, he indulges himself. He pretends that you're only asking because you want to hear him say it. That you want him to put up a fight and not let you go.
But he bites his tongue because it's become a bad habit. A habit that he can't shake because he simply doesn't have the courage to do so. Because if you stay here tonight, looking like that under the cozy lighting of his living room, he might just spill his secrets and he wouldn't be able to take it when reality comes crashing down and you end up telling him that you've never felt the same way.
"I'm kidding," he musters up the words, and tries to plaster on a smile for your sake, even though he's not sure if you really believe it. "You're dressed up anyway. Go and get a free fancy dinner, if anything."
Minho knows what love is, but his love has always lived in the shadows, his longing has only existed in the dark that it terrifies him just thinking about it meeting the light.
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Four.
Minho is 26 years old, and he's been a coward for the better part of a decade.
Maybe he's loved you for even longer, but he has spent the past eight years head over heels in love with you, and not once has he done anything about it. Never been able to gather enough courage to ask you out, never even hinted at his feelings for you. He loves you from his place by your side and yet, you've never known.
He loves you the most, but he loves you in the worst way that a person can love another - he loves you in silence.
You're the prettiest girl in the world, and Lee Minho is a pathetic coward.
All these years, he's kept quiet and for what? There's always a spot reserved for him right next to you and yet, it feels like he can only watch you from the sidelines, far away from where it really matters, because he doesn't think he can fit into your life the way he truly wants. You taught him what love was, and love, to Minho, is unattainable. Something he can spend the rest of his life yearning for but won't ever have.
Love hurts. Sometimes, all love does is hurt.
"I would've taken you to a nice restaurant if you asked, you know," he says, putting a chocolate cupcake on the coffee table in front of you before he sits down next to you on the fluffy carpet of your living room. He pulls out a candle next, placing it right in the center of the sweet treat.
Your gaze follows his hand has he lights the candle, your eyes glinting with excitement as though you're a child again and your favorite day of the year is still your birthday. The tiny flame curves and bends, dancing to a rhythm that looks like only you can hear. You watch the candle like it's magic, while Minho just watches you, thinking the same thing.
He watches as you close your eyes and clasp your hands together for the theatrics, then you blow out the flame seconds later with a swift breath.
You turn to him with a smile, "I don't need a nice restaurant. This is perfect."
He blinks, and there's that warmth simmering in his belly again. He first felt it when he was 18, and he feels it now. He feels it almost every moment that he spends with you, and he reckons it's only reasonable, because you're his home personified and love can still be beautiful even when it hurts. There's his heart racing again, but that's nothing new to Minho.
He muses over your words. Perfect. Just one simple word is enough to get his hopes up in a way that it really shouldn't.
Your definition of a birthday well spent is in your cozy apartment, eating takeout pizza with your best friend. Perfect, to you, is him baking you a singular chocolate cupcake upon your request and being with him within these four walls, where his fingers occasionally brush yours when you sit next to each other.
Oh, Minho would follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked him to.
He clears his throat lightly, breaking away from your gaze that's full of gratitude and childlike wonder. "What did you wish for?"
"I'm not gonna tell you. It won't come true then."
Wishes don't come true anyway, he thinks, but obviously he won't say it out loud to you, and on your birthday no less. Instead, he diverts his attention to the cupcake, subconsciously tonguing his cheek as he takes a small chunk of the sweet and offers it to you.
You let him feed you even though your eyes are narrowed. "What was that look?" you ask.
"What look?"
"You had a look."
"No, I didn't," Minho insists.
"Yes, you did. You wanted to say something, didn't you?"
He shrugs, popping a piece of cupcake into his own mouth. The answer is yes, he did want to say something, but if you want to get technical about it, then he's wanted to say something for years now. He asks you the same thing every birthday, What did you wish for?, and you would refuse to tell him every time.
"Wishes don't come true," he verbalizes it this time, with a voice that's lighthearted on purpose despite knowing that you wouldn't take it that seriously either way.
You roll your eyes. "Now you're just being pessimistic."
"What? I'm speaking from experience."
"You've never had a birthday wish come true?"
"My birthday wishes haven't come true since I was 18."
Minho feels your eyes on the side of his face, and when you remain quiet for a beat too long, he turns his attention back to you. "What?"
"How do you know they didn't come true?"
"Because..."
Because you've been my wish for almost a decade now. I didn't use to believe in wishes but I always believed in you. Every year, I wish for you to look at me the way I look at you, but it never comes true. Every year, I wish that you would love me back, not just as a friend, but you never do. You are my wish, but you're also the very reason why I know wishes don't come true.
Then he's laughing, but nothing is remotely funny about this. It's your birthday and suddenly all he can think about is how much it stings to be reminded that you're the only thing he'll ever wish for, and still, maybe this simple wish is absurd enough that the universe will never grant him what he truly wants.
"Never mind," he says. "This whole thing is silly."
There he goes, biting his tongue again. Coward.
"No, what were you going to say?"
"You're so bossy today," Minho pretends to complain.
"It's my birthday. Tell me," you press on, and suddenly he can't find any appreciation for your stubbornness that he's adored all his life. You keep your eyes fixed on him when all he wants to do is hide from you.
What is he supposed to say to you? What can he even say? That he's spent more than a third of his life hopelessly enamored with you? That the second he utters any of this out loud, he knows it will be the end of your friendship?
And Minho can't afford to lose you. Even if it hurts, he would rather let love hurt than live in the absence of you.
"Eat your cupcake," he says instead. "I'll get some ice cream."
He makes a move to get up, and the bad habit further cements its place in his subconscious. He's always running away from you when you're supposed to be the person he can be the most open with. This is how he knows he doesn't deserve you.
But you reach for his wrist and it makes him still, the feeling of your hand sliding downward to hold onto his fingers. He's used to the feeling of your smaller hand in his, used to how he can hear his heartbeat in his ears whenever you lace your fingers together.
What he isn't accustomed to, is the look on your face this very second, akin to the one you wore two years ago as you sat on the other side of his kitchen island, asking him if you should go.
Expectant and hopeful; you're holding something back too.
The words that slip from your lips are ones that he never imagined you would say to him.
"I've waited for you long enough."
His poor excuse of retrieving ice cream is all but forgotten as he stares at you, doe-eyed and despairingly confused. "What is that supposed to mean?"
You take a breath, and Minho wonders if this is how he looked every time he wanted to say something only to back down in the end.
Then it all comes rushing out.
"For a while, I thought there might've been something between us, something more than just friendship. I don't know why I thought that, I just had a feeling. On the day of our graduation, I thought you would finally kiss me or at least say something, but you didn't. Whenever I went on dates, I wanted you to tell me not to go, that I was wasting my time with those guys that couldn't make me laugh because they weren't you. You never said anything, you never did anything. I waited every birthday just like I waited tonight. You're still holding it over me and I'm starting to wonder if you really love me too or if I imagined everything this whole time."
Your voice gets smaller toward the end, almost as if the uncertainty takes over you the longer he remains silent. He doesn't have the words for it, doesn't really have the mental capacity to process all of what you just professed. Years and years of longing, of hoping that you would come running into his arms the same way you did on the morning of your thesis defense, and it turns out that you were always the one waiting for him to reach you.
If you really love me too.
Your fingers start to loosen around his but Minho doesn't let you get away, not now and not ever again. Not when he finally knows that he's burnt up enough of your time just because he was too stuck in his head to see that you were holding a hand out for him all along.
He pulls you into his orbit and he likes to imagine that somewhere out there in the infinite universe, two stars collide when he kisses you for the first time, long overdue but still heavenly nonetheless.
He's crying but you don't seem to mind the tears. You're kissing him back and it's really all that matters. He can't think straight but he adores you to the point that his lungs ache.
"I love you," he mumbles against your lips. The sentiment comes out clumsy, half coherent but wholeheartedly sincere. "I'm sorry. I love you, I love you, fuck, I love you."
You're the one who breaks the kiss first, with your hand on his chest gently pushing him away. Panic instantly shoots through him like a lightning strike. These are the words he's been holding back for years, did he not even say them right? Did he fuck things up yet again?
You brush the tears from his cheeks, your voice so impossibly soft when you ask, "Do you mean it?"
Minho splinters into a million pieces, of course he does.
Your name falls from his lips, sounding like a prayer, like the most tender plea that's ever been uttered, "I love you the most. I'm so in love with you that it hurts. I've been yours for so long and I never said anything. Fuck, I-I'm sorry. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I-"
You bring his face to yours once more, shushing him with a kiss that makes him putty in your hands. You tell him that it's okay, and you kiss him like you forgive him. The world could be ending right now, and he doesn't think that either of you would even care very much.
Because you're the only wish of his life, and you kiss him as though you want to make up for the lost years. Because Minho feels like he's 18 again and you're the most beautiful girl in the world, wearing a smile that leaves him breathless in the most wonderful way possible.
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all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 06.05.2024]
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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class was Basically cancelled today so im looking at the next two sabu ttm movies i wanted to watch and i stg sabu really does love putting ttm in bad situations <- this is a good thing
#snap chats#idec at this point let me talk bout my movies im gon talk bout them anyway#after like half an hour one of my classmates just got up like 'ok its been well over fifteen minutes we can leave' and then we all did LOL#i hope my professor's alright.. this is unprecedented and she didnt send an email sayin class was cancelled...#im sure she's fine and something came up but i'll send her an email anyways just to make sure. moving on.#Our Little Sister was a really cute movie i really enjoyed it as a haver of two older sisters and a bad relationship with our mom#their banter was so cute with each other.. and them trying to ease suzu into their new home... wholesome..#oh but right. anyway LOL NO I WAS LOOKING UP MORE STUFF TO ADD TO MY WATCH LIST#AND IM JUST READING THESE SUMMARIES AND IM LIKE 'i swear to god if i look in the cast list and see ttm is The Guy'#and wouldnt you fuckin know it He The Guy In Peril HEEEELP#i just imagine ttm walking on set and sabu handing him the script with a smile like :) Hey :)#and flippin through the script its just The Most Unfortunate Set Of Circumstances LMAO#its good for me tho I Repeat im an enjoyer of watching ttm scream and cry and have a terrible time. he does it really well i cant explain i#he always manages to look cute while doing it so </3 either that or so depressed/haggard im obsessed#the movies i plan on watching next are Postman Blues and Drive. they both sound goofy as hell and since its a sabu film ik they will be#trying to decide which one to watch.. they both sound good... plus drive was released my birth year lol....#i prob wont watch either of them tonight since i wanna finish a comm at least but still.. just choosin for the future..#ok bye i told mysellf id make myself mac and cheese. maybe a grilled cheese... im consuming cheese tonight is all i know
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msgexymunson · 9 months
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Sammy's Mom
Description: Eddie Munson finds it difficult to get over his fantasies about you, his best friend's mom. He tries so hard to keep it in check. The only problem? Sammy's mom has got it going on.
A/N: kind of a little nod to the song "Stacey's Mom" (which is 20 years old now BTW, so if you remember it it's time to take aspirin for your back pain), I've written too much older Eddie in my time so trying to balance it out, as I've given him far too much rizz! And his friend is called Sammy as I've watched a lot of Supernatural recently. Please comment and reblog if you enjoy this my sweethearts.
Warnings: where do I start lmao, NSFW, Minors DNI or I'll slap you with a wet fish, age gap, Eddie's 21, reader is early 40s, MILF reader, reader referred to as 'Mrs F' a few times no first name given, perv Eddie, voyeurism, male masturbation, very slight foot fetish (nothing actually happens), oral both male and female receiving, p in v unprotected sex, slight anal play, cum eating.
10.5k words
Masterlist 
"UNCLE EDDIE!!" 
Johnny's little six year old voice rings out like a bell in the front yard. You look out the window and see him running as fast as his little legs could carry him towards a young man getting out of a beat up van. 
"Hey Squirt!" Crouching to his knees, he accepts your kids embrace, then stands with him, swinging him around in the air as Johnny shrieks uncontrollably, unbridled joy brimming from his chest. The next minute he's got Johnny on his shoulders, walking around the house to the back yard. 
You smile at their antics, warmed at the gesture. Eddie has always been good with your youngest son when he comes to visit Sammy, your oldest. It was nice, him having another man around to look up to, even if he really needs to remember to watch his language. 
Voices sound from the back yard; Eddie had found Sammy and as usual, they were loud and laughing. Not that you minded at all, any laughter those kids could get was music to your ears. 
You grab your sunglasses and perch them on top of your head, searching around for your gardening tools. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and you wanted to be near the kids at least. Grasping your pruners and gardening gloves in one hand and a cooler in the other, you make your way to the rear of the house. 
Pushing the back door open with a hip, you see Sammy is already in the pool. Johnny is still talking a mile a minute at Eddie, as he sits on the edge of a lawn chair. 
Well, he's certainly grown up. 
Eddie's shirtless, sitting there in his long black swimming trunks. There's a new tattoo on his ribs but you can't make it out from this distance. He's looking toned; his jaw is sharper, with shoulders broader than you remember. He's become a man. 
When the hell did that happen? 
Shaking your head out of your temporary revelry, you walk over to the pair of them. The snippets of conversation you overhear as you approach widen the smile on your face. 
"So, you think of any new monsters for me big guy?" 
Johnny beams at Eddie with pride. "Yeah! So right, it's like, a big bat thing right? With metal bits all over, and- and- then it's got these huuuuge teeth, and- and- when he opens its mouth the teeth fly out, right, and turn into bats!!" 
He starts excitedly flapping his arms around and screeching as Eddie laughs and ruffles his hair.
"Bats huh? That's sick. Pretty metal, squirt. Have to add that to the campaign." 
Johnny beams at the praise, staring down at his hand, trying to work out his fingers, then flashes the devil horn hand at him triumphantly. 
"Johnny honey, do you want to play in the pool? Give Uncle Eddie a chance to breathe?" 
"Yeah! Can I do cannonballs? Can I can I can I?" 
His enthusiasm always brings a smile to your face. "Sure thing honey, just don't go in the deep end, 'K?" 
"Kay!" He flashes a thousand watt smile at you and runs off, calling to his brother. 
Your gaze returns to Eddie, who you are sure was just checking you out. His eyes flick to yours almost guiltily. 
"Brought some beers out for you both. Here." Passing him the cooler, your hands brush briefly, the slight touch running a shiver down your spine despite the heat. 
"Thanks Mrs F." 
Eddie licks his lips and you trace the movement with your eyes.
"Mom! What are you wearing?" 
Sammy has exited the pool, dripping water everywhere. You look down at your outfit. You were wearing a two piece, slightly skimpier than your usual swimwear, and a pair of jean hotpants. 
"Sammy love, it's hot. I'm in my backyard. What am I supposed to do? Dress like a nun?" 
Eddie snorts a laugh next to you. 
"But you're all… exposed mom." 
"Sammy, shut up. Your mom can wear what she wants." 
"Yeah? You're only saying that because you-"
But you're destined to never hear the end of that sentence as Eddie pushes him into the pool. Water splashes everywhere, and Eddie laughs, throwing his head back. The gesture has you staring yet again, looking at the skin on his neck, the way his Adam's apple bobs. A mad idea enters your head; what if you just darted your tongue out and licked over it? Decorated that delicate skin with kisses? Nipped at the sides of his throat with your teeth?
Eddie makes eye contact with you then, and you quickly look away. He was sure you were eyeing him up, almost certain of it. Hell, he's been staring at you for years, mapping your curves with his eyes, knowing he'll never get a chance to feel them under his hands, but the look you just gave him made his stomach twist.
Before your thoughts can go any further you tear yourself away and over to the rose bushes. You deadhead the rose bush as if your life depends on it, furiously snipping and cutting, as if you're trying to trim back the impure thoughts you're having. 
After a while, the bushes are looking a lot neater. Stepping back, you remove your gardening gloves and swipe the sweat beads on your brow with the back of your hand. 
"Mrs F, you wanna beer?" 
You turn to see Eddie laying on a sun lounger, waving a cold one. As you walk towards him he stands up to hand it to you. 
"That a new tattoo Eddie?" You ask, pointing to his abdomen. He looks taken aback by your question but responds nonetheless. 
"Yeah, you like it?" 
Your hand drifts towards him almost instinctively, only realising when his muscles tense under your soft touch. It's a scorpion, surrounded in a wreath of flames. Tracing it with your fingers, you circle it slowly. Eddie can feel his heart pounding in his chest. A slow moan escapes Eddie's lips which pulls you out of wherever the hell you were heading. The heat must have gotten to your head. Pulling back your fingers, you respond.
"Yeah, I like it. Metal." 
Looking up around him through your lashes, your eyes meet his. He looks flushed, cheeks heating at your stare. 
"You OK Eddie?" 
"Y-yeah, fine. I'm gonna have a dip in the pool." 
He shuffles awkwardly off, nearly bent double. All his strange stance does is draw attention to the tent in his swimming trunks that has appeared. It's really rather large; to your amazement, you can't seem to take your eyes off it. Eddie dives into the pool, swimming over to your son. 
Did I just do that? 
You shake your head, banishing thoughts of Eddie's package, and head off to the kitchen to clean some dishes. 
As Eddie rushes into the pool, he's wishing the cool water would shrink the raging hard on he just got. 
Fuck, you look so good today. That skimpy bikini top barely covering the curves of your tits; them damn near spilling out of the top. Those tiny shorts, framing your hips and ass perfectly. Then you had to go and touch him. That had him nearly busting in his pants. He can't help but wonder if it was on purpose. A crazy thought he shouldn't be entertaining. 
He dips his head under the water trying to cool the blood that had rushed to his cheeks. 
You had to be at least 40. Sammy's Dad had been out of the picture for a while, he knew that much. He couldn't help but wonder if you were a little lonely; maybe that's why you had been flirting with him. Or it was entirely Eddie's imagination and he just needs to jerk off and get it out of his system. 
As he gets out of the water, shaking his hair like a dog, he thinks he sees you looking at him through the kitchen window, but he can't be sure. 
"Dude, why have you got a boner?" Sammy points at him from the water, forcing Eddie to cup his erection, trying to hide it from prying eyes. 
"I can't help it!" He whisper shouts, cheeks flushing anew, "your mom's hot!" 
"Eddie! Don't say that, that's gross!" Sammy slings back, pulling a disgusted face.
"Hey it's not, she's a total fox, what can I do, it's like, biological, she's a babe!" 
Little did he know you can hear every word, pressing your lips together firmly to suppress a laugh as you dry up a cup in the kitchen. 
"She's like, really old, and she's my mom for God's sake!" 
"Hey, rude, she's not that old. You think she's into younger guys?" You can hear the smile in his voice, he's clearly just trying to wind Sammy up now, but your thighs clench together at the thought. The cup in your hands is dry as a bone right now. 
"Eddie shut the f-" 
"What's a boner?" The little voice is clear and loud, cutting through the argument. 
A loud laugh shoots from your chest uncontrollably. You try to mask it with your hand but there's nothing you can do, it's out there now. 
Eddie's head whips around to face the house, flicking water droplets in its wake. 
"Oh shit." It's low, but loud enough to hear. 
Making your way back outside, you call out to Johnny to save either of them answering the awkward question.
"Come on kid, you want a snack?" 
"Yeah mommy! Shit!" Eddie's mouth drops open. 
"What did I say about copying Eddie" you ask sternly. 
He parrots back in a sing-song voice, "don't copy Eddie, Eddie is dirty." 
"That's right. Come on, inside." He runs past you in the way only a child can, feet flat on the floor slapping on the concrete.
Eddie steps a little closer to you.
"I'm so sorry Mrs F it won't-" 
"Hey, it's OK," you reply, stepping to meet him. You drop your voice lower, hand up as if you're telling a secret. On autopilot, Eddie leans towards you to hear your whisper, close enough to smell your shampoo. 
"Sometimes mommy's dirty too." 
Turning on your heel, you walk back into the house without a glance, leaving Eddie with his jaw on the floor.
Where the hell did that come from?
You try to steady your breathing as you go inside. That was reckless of you, he's half your age. You admonish yourself, telling your brain that you need to stop flirting with the poor boy. 
Eddie's frozen on the spot. It's clear you overheard their little conversation, and then you come out with something like that? It's definitely not his imagination at this point. For a crazy moment he thinks he might actually have a shot at you. 
Stop it. She's Sammy's mother for Christ's sake. Pull yourself together Munson. 
"Imma take a quick shower if that's alright and get, er, changed. You wanna work on the campaign some more?" Eddie says it over his shoulder to Sammy, not daring to turn. He's never been so hard in all his life. 
"Sure, just stay out of my mom's room." 
Eddie laughs nervously, "who do you think I am?" As he walks to the house. 
"Eddie fuckin' Munson." Sammy mutters under his breath. 
As he stumbles into the house with his bundle of clothes over his crotch, he catches another glimpse of you, on your hands and knees searching in a cupboard. 
"Honey, I don't think we've got any animal crackers left." You say over your shoulder to a pouting Johnny. 
You're barely contained in your jean hot pants, the denim tight against your perfect ass. 
"Fuckin' hell" Eddie mutters under his breath, tearing his eyes away to make his way upstairs. 
He practically runs up the stairs, tripping slightly on the last step. Flinging his body into the bathroom, he shuts and locks the door. 
Five seconds later he's in the shower with his hand wrapped around his slippery cock, tugging on it as if it were his last day on earth. 
Fuck, why does she have to be so fine? 
He's whimpering and stifling breathy moans as he cums hard in less than five minutes. Shame snags its sneaky claws into his heart then, as he hangs his head under the shower head. He needs to get it together before the thought of you ruins him completely. 
********************
Knocking on your eldest son's door, he calls out for you to enter. Both him and Eddie are sitting on the bed, a pile of books and notes between them. You do your best to ignore the smoky weed smell as you address him.
"Sammy, I'm heading out, you still OK to take care of Johnny?" 
"Woah, Mrs F you look h-" Sammy elbows him in the ribs before he can finish the sentence, "-very nice." Eddie finishes lamely. 
A smile spreads over your face at his words. Your date tonight was nothing special, not really, but the need growing between your legs needed to be sorted out somehow. So, you'd dressed to impress; a red figure hugging dress, ending just at the knee, with matching slingbacks. Your hair was down, hanging past your shoulders in soft curls. 
"Mom, I'm going to Tiffany's, to stay over, remember?" Sammy responds, raising his eyebrows meaningfully at you.
"That was tonight?" Well, fuck. "Your grandma's coming to pick Johnny up at 9, can't you stay until then? 
"I can watch him." 
You both turn to look at Eddie. He looks just as surprised as you two at his words.
"I can watch him, no problem. I ain't got anywhere to be tonight."
Eddie doesn't know why he offered. Well, in part he did. He might get to see you again in that dress later. 
"Thanks Eddie, you're a lifesaver. I can pay-" 
"Oh no, don't worry about it." He flashes a grin which does something to your insides, melting them just a little.
"Thank you, I really appreciate it. Johnny's downstairs watching TV, he's had dinner, just need to wait for my mom to pick him up. You sure it's OK?" 
"Of course, it's no problem." 
"OK, well make yourself at home." You give him a winning smile of your own which makes his face flush red. 
"Oh, and Sammy?" 
"Yeah mom?" 
"Use protection." 
"Mom!" 
You laugh and shut the door, heading off to your date. 
********************
The date was a total bust, not that you'd expected anything less. Greg from accounting was nice, sure; kind of handsome, in a middle aged balding kind of way. A reliable sort of guy. Then, when the dinner was over and he kissed you, you knew there was no way it was going to go any further. So, you'd refused his invitation to go to a bar, made your excuses and got a cab home. 
Standing outside your house, you look at the time. 9:30. Rock and roll. You huff into the humid night air at how old you must seem right now, and open your front door. 
"Eddie!" 
Sprawled on the sofa, manspreading, sits Eddie. A beer rests on the coffee table, and the TV is blaring out some horror film. 
He scrambles to his feet looking like he's about to be told off. 
"Mrs F, sorry, erm, your mom's not here yet, she called saying she was running late-" 
As if on cue, there's a knock at the door. You open it, and see your mom standing there, pushing past you in a cloud of perfume. 
"Hey love, so sorry I'm late!" She looks at you, then Eddie. "Is this your date?" 
Blushing a furious red, you shake your head. 
"Oh, no this is Sammy's friend, he was watching Johnny for a bit." 
"Oh, the young man I spoke to on the phone. Shame, he's very handsome." She winks at you. 
"Mom!" 
Eddie looks like he's about to die from blood loss; his face is so drained it's ghostly white. 
"I-I'll go get squirt," he stumbles out awkwardly. 
"Mom, please behave." You whisper when he's left the room.
"I'm behaving! I thought you were on a date, what happened?" 
"He wasn't my type." 
"Well, you should find someone who is. How long has it been?" 
You run your hand through your hair, feeling a little more confrontational than usual due to the alcohol in your veins. 
"Mom, just drop it. I'm fine!" 
"OK, OK! That babysitter is a fine looking young man-" 
"Mom!" 
"Mommy!" You turn just in time for Johnny to grab your legs in a hard hug, squishy cheek pushing against your thigh. 
"We went on an adventure! I'm a Knight, I saved the lady! There was gobbins and stuff!" His little eyes shine, staring at Eddie in pure adoration. 
"Really? Well done! Sounds amazing love. Go on, go with nanna. I love you." 
"OK! Love you mom! Bye Uncle Eddie!" He runs over to him and grabs his legs fiercely. Eddie ruffles his hair in response.
"Night squirt. Or should I say Sir Johnny the Just?" 
"Yeah! Imma hero!" He beams and runs off to grasp your mother's hand, regaling her of his adventures. 
"I'll see you later mom," you say, passing her Johnny's overnight bag by the door. 
As the door shuts, the only sounds are coming from the gristly movie on the TV until Eddie switches it off. Silence. 
"Mrs F, I only opened the beer after I put him to bed, I swear-" 
"Hey, it's fine, don't worry. Thanks for staying longer, I appreciate it." 
"Oh, it's fine. My trailers empty anyway, and you have cable." He smiles sheepishly at you. 
"I told you, make yourself at home. Finish your beer." 
Shoes are kicked off to join the jumble at the front door, and you rub some life back into your aching heels. Eddie's staring at your feet and he can't figure out why. He's never had a thing for feet, but yours? Yours he'd happily have running over his body, in his mouth, on his cock. He's almost ashamed at how just the slightest bit of your flesh on show has him practically drooling. 
You're oblivious to Eddie's perverse thoughts however. Tonight was not what you wanted, and it makes you huff aloud at the thought. 
"You alright Mrs F?" Eddie asks, concern in his voice as he sits back down on the couch, trying his hardest not to stare at your cleavage. 
"Yeah I'm-" why are you lying? "no, actually I'm not. Not the night I was expecting." When you flash a weak smile at Eddie, it's not returned. He looks worried almost. 
"Wanna talk about it?" 
It's sweet of him to ask, and you're about to brush it off but he just looks so invested in your welfare that it takes you aback briefly. 
"Sure. Hang on a minute." You pad barefoot to the kitchen and grab a beer, returning to the living room to sit on the couch beside him. 
Eddie is trying to tell himself he's just being nice. It's not just an excuse to stay. It's difficult to believe his own thoughts however when your dress is riding up your thigh like that.
The very air between you both seems thick and laced with unanswered questions, tension real and palpable. 
"So, Sir Johnny the Just?" You ask, to try and clear the closing space. 
"Yeah," Eddie grins, face lighting up at the mention of your boy, "I gave him the name. Made a little one shot for him, you know, fought some goblins, saved a damsel in distress. He's got a knack for D&D." 
Your eyes glisten at that.
"Thanks, he really looks up to you. It's nice, him having some guys around." 
"Can I ask, what happened to… Mr F?" He knows he's crossing a line here, but he's so curious, and Sammy never talks about it. 
"He left me. I was pregnant with Johnny, and he met some blonde twig, had an affair." 
"Oh, I'm so fuckin' sorry." 
You shrug. It's trauma, yes, but it's passed. A wound that has long since closed over the years, scarring but healing. You sip your beer and ask a line crossing question of your own.
"So, no girlfriend then? Since you're free on a Saturday night?" 
You're not sure where that came from, but it's been asked now. A bubble of nerves pops when you ask it, showering you in drops of second guesses. 
"N-no, well I mean, yeah I've had like, girlfriends in the past but no, I'm single. As a pringle." 
What was that about? Smooth Munson. 
You just laugh as he visibly cringes at his own words. 
"Pringles aren't single, they fit together. They come in a tube." You add, mock helpfully. 
You both chuckle then, diffusing some of the awkwardness between you. He knocks your knee with his. You reciprocate, and look up into those soulful puppy dog eyes of his. 
Eddie's arm lays on the back of the couch behind you, and he's painfully aware of that fact. He wants to drop it to your shoulder, to run circles on your exposed skin and give you that smile, the smile he's given to a dozen girls. But you aren't a girl. You're a woman. The thought is making him more nervous than a virgin on prom night. 
Coughing the thought away, he asks you about tonight. 
"So, what happened on your date? I thought you'd be out later." 
"So did I." You slug some more beer back to calm yourself, and continue, "he was a nice guy. Opened doors, paid for dinner. Then he kissed me." 
Eddie attempted to ignore the burning jealousy in his gut. 
"Oh yeah? Sounds awful.' 
Laughing, you reach and stroke his side for a minute. Your hand lingers, feeling down to his hip. Eddie's heart is pounding in his throat. To his amazement, you leave it there, absentmindedly running fingers over his t-shirt. 
'Yeah, torture," you quip, "it was the kiss." 
Suddenly, you're moving your hand, much to Eddie's dismay, and turning to face him on the couch. He does the same, noticing that his arm is now so close to your head he can feel a slight tickle from your hair. 
"Can I be honest with you?" 
"Sure," Eddie tries to say coolly, to act like his entire insides aren't on fire because of the eye contact you're giving him. 
"It's, er, been a while. A very long while." Your eyes dip down, unsure why the hell you're telling Eddie this, but something about him is making you want to be open when usually you're a closed book. 
Eddie swallows thickly. He knows exactly what you're getting at. On instinct his thumb is rubbing the back of your head, over the soft curls. You don't seem to mind, better yet, your shoulders drop some tension, letting go just a little. 
Still looking down, you say "I can usually tell what someone's going to be like, in bed, from a kiss. Never been wrong yet," you laugh a little, "and he felt, well, dull, and kinda selfish." 
Grabbing your beer for something to distract you from the ache in your core, you drink some more, nearly finishing it. 
As you place it back down on the coffee table, you glance at Eddie's lap. He's fumbling with his rings, spinning one with his thumb as he shifts in his seat. There's an unmissable bulge in the front of his jeans; they're so tight you can see the outline of it. Of him. 
Glancing up at his face when you feel brave enough, it's beetroot red, but his eyes look dark, hungry almost. 
"Well, th-that's a cool superpower to have," he laughs out nervously. 
"I suppose it is" You smile. 
Eddie's trying so hard to control himself. The devil on his shoulder is pulling at his hair and yelling in his ear to make a move. 
This isn't right though, it's Sammy's mom for fucks sake. 
That's when you put your hand on his knee, touching that bare patch of skin where his jeans are frayed. Your touch is delicate, almost hesitant, and it destroys any resolve Eddie had. His hand is shaking slightly as he puts his fingers over yours. 
The touch is warming and electric, fanning the flames of the blazing fire in your stomach. As your eyes meet, Eddie's confidence grows. He can see that you want this, but someone needs to make the first move, and he would kick himself if he missed out because he didn't have the balls to make it.
"You know sweetheart," he begins, as you take a sharp breath at the nickname, he's never called you anything other than Mrs F before that, "you can't just say you have a superpower like that and not show me." 
There's nerves in his voice, but also a cheeky smile playing on his lips. To his amazement you blush, mouth curving into a smile of your own. 
"Listen, Eddie, you're a very sweet boy-" 
"-man," He interjects, "I'm 21." 
Chuckling, you reply, "OK, a very sweet young man, but I don't think that's a good idea." 
It's true, you don't. It's a very bad idea, but it's one you can't get out of your head, your eyes drawn to the curve of his jaw, his stubble, those plush lips of his. Wetting your lips impulsively, you nibble at the bottom one which sends Eddie's head into a dizzying whirlwind. 
"I just wanna know if I'm good in the sack, think it's only fair if you can tell me, it's just a kiss." 
Luck being pushed as far as it can go and then a little further, he daringly places a hand on your cheek. 
He is right, it's only a kiss. 
You say it in your head as if you're trying to convince yourself of the lie. By the time you realise how weak of an argument it is, you're already leaning forward, eyes unmistakably drawn to his lips. 
Eddie leans in, breath fanning your face. 
"Don't you want to… satisfy your curiosity?" 
It's bold, he knows, but you're the one who leans in further.
Eddie doesn't think twice, not when your eyes are hooded like that and your lips are forming a sultry pout. He presses his lips to yours softly at first, feeling the plush of them melt against his, his hand winding into your hair. 
You don't stop him, or pull back. His lips on yours are disarming, taking away your bite. The kiss is gentle, and you dissolve into it, moving your lips against his with a passion you can't remember ever feeling. 
Eddie's trying really hard not to just stick his tongue down your throat and feel you up, but he needs to prove something. He might not ever get a chance ever again, so he takes it slow. Opening his mouth, his tongue swipes against your bottom lip, begging. Not only do you let him, you return his tongue with a lick of your own, running it over his lip in turn. Tongues stroke into each other's mouths sensually; you feel as if you have something to prove. Like he's the one who will be judging you and not the other way around.
He tastes intoxicating; you can't put your finger on why, it's beer, and cigarettes, and something else that's drawing you in. It's just pure Eddie. His smell too, leather, smoke and Old Spice;  it's filling you up from the inside out, making your head spin. 
Eddie's obsessed. Your touch, your scent, your taste. He could kiss you forever; he could kiss you until he dies, suffocated by your mouth, your passion. This feels like some sort of fever dream and he never wants to wake up.
Your fingers are touching cotton fabric before you even understand that you've got a fistful of his shirt, pulling him in further. He responds by dropping his hand to your neck, thumb rubbing intoxicating patterns on your pulse point. 
When you're feeling on the brink of being entirely consumed by his kiss, he's the one to pull away. It's a little sneaky, he knows that, but he wants the upper hand and thinks he won't get it ever again. Eddie can't believe his luck when he sees your eyes still closed, lips chasing his touch, with a ball of his shirt in your hands. 
As your eyes flutter open, you look up at him. A self satisfied smirk is smeared across his face and you can't help but think he's won this round of whatever the hell you're playing. Playing with fire it feels like. 
A moment too late and you remember your hand bunched into his clothes. You unhand him and slap his knee, fingers unwilling to pull away. 
"So, what's the verdict sweetheart?" Eddie asks. His fingers are still massaging at your neck, rubbing back and forth, sending tingles down your spine. 
"What?" You ask, mind well and truly blank. 
"Guessing that's good." He laughs, taking his hand away to take a sip of his beer. "Remember your superpower, Wonder Woman?" 
"Oh, yeah. It was… good." You shrug, picking up the last of your beer and downing it. 
"Good? Good?! Come on, you gotta give me more than that!" He huffs dramatically, slamming his beer bottle on the table. 
Laughing aloud, you turn and face him again. He really is beautiful. His hair framing his face, that triumphant smile on his lips, laughter lines creasing in his day old stubble. You can almost believe he's older than he is, but knowing what you know about his family, he's been through a lot. 
"OK, it was the best kiss I've had in a while. A very long time." 
"Yeah?" 
"Yeah." 
It's quiet for a moment; a loaded kind of quiet. It hangs heavily in the air like a thunderstorm. 
"Well, how about you?" You ask. 
"What do you mean?" 
"You know what I mean!" You laugh, nudging him with your foot.
"It was… good." He says, mimicking your words. Then he takes in your face, drinking in your beauty with his eyes, until he can't hold back anymore, "alright, it was mind blowing, you're really fuckin' hot." 
"Yeah, for my age" You scoff at his response, disbelieving him even after that kiss. You hear it alot, ever since you passed 35. 'You look good for your age', the backhanded compliment that feels like a knife in the chest. 
"That's bullshit!" Eddie responds loudly, shaking you out of your head and into the here and now, "you're fucking hot, period. Nothing to do with age sweetheart." 
If his words are lies, the bulge in his pants sure isn't. You feel drunk, and not from the alcohol. Eddie's kiss had you feeling reckless. Naughty. Young. 
"I overheard your little conversation earlier," you admit, scooching closer to him on the couch. Faces an inch apart, Eddie's torn between pouncing or running. So are you. 
"Yeah, you weren't supposed to hear that. Kinda glad you did." 
That makes you braver. All thought has gone, and the pounding need in between your legs has you losing all inhibitions as you lean towards his neck.
"Do you want me, Eddie?" You purr into his ear, nipping at the lobe with your teeth. 
"Uh, like, yeah. Yes, o-of course" He replies shakily, hand restless against your thigh. 
"You're trembling Eddie" it's your turn to smirk, lips dragging against his throat, "you've been with a woman before, right?" You know he has, but you can't help teasing him a little. 
Yes, a dozen, but none like you. 
"Y-yeah, I'm not a virgin, if th-that's what you're asking." 
Get it the fuck together Munson. 
"Then why are you nervous?" 
"Girls don't make me nervous. You make me nervous" He laughs, with absolute honesty in his words. 
With a flick of your eyes to his lips, you cradle his jaw. Eddie can't wait a second longer, he's about to burst. He takes a breath, grabs you by the hip, and presses a hard kiss to your mouth. 
The first one was a test, an examination. This one is pure desire, neediness etched into the marrow of his bones. Yet you're the one to deepen the kiss, mouth opening up to him, your tongue running over his with fervour. Lust is rolling off the pair of you, filling the room with its sultry fog.
Impatience gets the best of him, he needs you closer, so he yanks you into his lap, hands grabbing hard to your hips. Gasping into his mouth at the sudden dominance, you let him lead. His kiss is burning you, hot and heavy. Your hips start grinding into his lap of their own accord, each movement inching your dress higher and higher. 
Eddie rolls it up and over your ass so your red lace panties are on display, dress bunching at your waist. His hands are all over you, feeling at your thighs, your hips, your ass, kneading at the dough of your flesh desperately. 
Each grope, each bruising squeeze of his fingertips has you panting in his mouth, your hands winding into his loose locks, tugging. 
The kisses are becoming sloppier, allegedly immovable lipstick starting to smear on Eddie's face. You're biting at his bottom lip, grinding hard against his clothed dick; Eddie feels like he's died and gone to heaven. 
He tugs at your dress urgently, coaxing you to wriggle it up your frame and fling it away. 
The sight of you in your matching bra and panty set is enough to stop him in his tracks. It's gorgeous satin and lace, one of many you have. Even Eddie can see this is expensive. He runs his hands up and down your sides, drinking it in as if it were his last day on Earth. 
You allow him the few moments he takes to worship you with his eyes. If anything you're enjoying it as much as he is, his hungry stare fuelling your ego. 
"See something you like?" You tease, fingernails dragging across his neck. 
"Fuck yeah" comes his breathy response, pulling down a cup of your bra roughly, his mouth finding your nipple and sucking. 
Throwing your head back, you let out an unadulterated moan. You grab the hem of his shirt and tug it upwards. He gets the message, wrestling it off of his toned frame and throwing it away as if he's exasperated with clothes. Relishing in this new uncharted territory, your hands run all over his skin, tracing tattoos and freckles, fingernails leaving evidence of your desire. 
"Sorry, I just need to-" instead of telling you, he shows you, standing up with you grasped firmly at the hips. You think for a moment that he's going to take you upstairs, but he's pressing you down gently to the floor, lips and tongue tasting your neck, playfully licking over your collarbone. 
Eddie needs to know what your pussy tastes like; he's been dreaming of this for as long as he can remember. The thought of you unravelling because of him has him twitching in his pants. 
So, he makes his way down your torso, mapping your skin with his tongue. You're just so reactive; each time he laps and sucks at you a breathy gasp comes spilling from perfect painted lips.  
It's driving you crazy, his mouth is setting each patch of skin aflame, burning with passion. You're surprised by his movements as his mouth trails lower and lower. It looks like he's taking every enjoyment in tasting you, and the way he wiggles to get between your spread legs makes you realise he's going to go down on you. That is what's so surprising; you've never had a man who did that without some serious coaxing, let alone one who seemed to really want to. 
Now you're not self conscious by any means; you've grown to be very comfortable with your body, the feeling just comes with age. You can't help but be a little worried however, when Eddie reaches the stretch marks on your tummy. Little lightning strikes, lighter than the rest of your skin. You're not embarrassed, those little marks on your stomach and thighs are signs of your two beautiful boys. What's troubling you is the fact that Eddie can't have possibly seen any before, at least like this. What if they disgust him? 
It seems you needn't have worried. Eddie's in awe, running his fingers over the soft skin of the scars. He plants a kiss over the top and watches your muscles tense up. 
It's not that he likes them, or dislikes them for that matter; it's the fact that they are real. You're real, and in front of him in your underwear, and they ground him to the fact that this is actually happening. 
Reaching the hem of your panties he's torn between taking them off or not; you're just so damn pretty in them. He settles for running his tongue along the seam making you moan. You, Sammy's mom, moaning underneath him. He'd pinch himself if he didn't think it would spoil the mood. 
"You can take them off if you want baby." 
"Can I just, move them to the side? You're so fuckin' pretty like this." 
"Sure" you nod at him. He does so and nearly dies at the sight. Seems everything about you is thought of, down to your manicured nails, waxed legs, and bikini wax. The little patch of hair left is driving Eddie fucking crazy. 
He wastes no more time and runs his tongue through your folds, lapping at you like a man possessed. You taste exquisite, a flavour Eddie will remember for the rest of his life. It has him groaning into you, the vibration tingling over your clit making you writhe under him.
He's trying to map what you like, what makes you whimper, what makes you buck into his mouth. You can tell he's trying, really trying, but you know what you need. 
"Eddie, oh fuck, use, use the flat of your tongue," as he changes his tongue shape and rhythm, you wind your fingers into his hair and tug him right where you need him, "Oh God fuck, right there!" 
Yes fucking ma'am. 
Eddie's birthdays, Christmases, Easters, fuck it, all the holidays, have come at once. You are using him for your pleasure, riding his face. His dick is so swollen it's almost painful; he's rutting into the carpet like a teenager, the seam on his jeans not nearly providing enough friction.  
The pleasure is coursing through your veins, throbbing inside your stomach and thighs as you take what you need, fingers pulling hard at his hair. 
The moan that rips from your chest when Eddie pushes two fingers into your soaking wet cunt is pornographic, long and loud. He curls them upward, stroking incessantly at your g spot and spots appear in your vision. The last coherent thought you have is, fuck he really knows what he's doing. 
"Eddie!" 
You come with a strangled scream of his name, then it's all just white light and searing ecstasy as you ride out your orgasm. Your pulse and the feel of Eddie's hair taut in your fingers are the only things keeping you on planet Earth. 
Eddie just about holds it together, fingers working you through your release. You screamed his name. He almost came in his pants right then and there. The sound of you screaming his name is now a new core memory. He's sure he will replay it in his head many times with his fist on his cock.
Your back finally touching the carpet again, you tear Eddie's head away from your pussy and coax him none too gently upward. He hovers over your mouth, a little worried about kissing you when his face is covered with your release, but that worry turns into shock when you push his head forcefully towards yours and slip your tongue in his mouth. 
You can't help but moan at the taste of yourself in his mouth. The moan sounds low in your throat, buzzing into Eddie's mouth so low he feels it in his dick. Seems you weren't lying when you said mommy is dirty too. 
Suddenly Eddie's world turns sideways as you flip him onto his back, pushing his thighs apart with your knee. His scent, the feel of his skin, it's intoxicating. Before you realise what you're doing, you're sucking a love bite into the side of his neck, hard. 
Mine. 
Trailing lips and manicured nails down his torso, you pause at the fly of his jeans. You look up at him through your lashes. 
"This OK Eddie?" 
"Erm… oh God yes?" 
You giggle girlishly, flicking the button of his jeans undone and unzipping the fly gently. Relishing in the moment, you guide him to lift his hips and pull his jeans and boxers down slowly, unwrapping him like a gift.  
And what a fucking gift. 
As you pull his jeans and underwear down to his knees, his hardened cock springs out, coming to rest on his abdomen. It's big, the biggest you think you've seen in real life. Blushing a pretty pink at the tip, a pearl of pre cum sits on the slit at the top. 
Eddie takes your stillness as judgement, he can't help but fill in the silence. 
"Sorry, it's er, it's not like, impressive or anything- oh fuck" 
His apologies are interrupted when you take the tip in your mouth, sucking up the pre cum that glistens there. You roll the tip around your mouth, amazed at the fact he tastes so good. 
Breaking away with a pop, you reply, looking at him as you fist his length slowly with one hand. 
"Eddie, you're really, really big." 
"Really?" He doesn't look convinced, leaning up on his elbows to look at you. 
"Really. You're huge Eddie." 
"Yeah?" An edge of disbelief coats his voice, but he's smiling. 
"Biggest I've seen." 
Eddie's smile is damn near splitting his face in half. 
"So, could I get that in writing or- Jesus fuckin' Christ!" 
You take him in your mouth again, fitting as much as you can, fisting the rest in your hand. The groans and whimpers coming from Eddie's mouth are downright obscene. The wetter you get him, the louder he gets, so you dribble purposely all over your fist, letting it drip down to his balls. 
Eddie's eyes keep trying to roll back but he won't let them, he refuses. He needs to see this, to see you. The slick sounds your hand and mouth are creating are making him fizz from the inside out, each movement is making him want to blow his load in that perfect practised mouth. 
Sammy's mom is sucking my fucking dick dry. 
He's trying to get his head around this impossible situation but it's so outlandish he wants to laugh. Or cry. Or scream. He settles on moaning, hand resting on the back of your head, stroking encouraging circles. 
"Fuck, you're- you're too good at this, holy shit!" 
Relinquishing his length with a sodden wet noise, you fist his length, running your thumb over his tip and lapping at his balls. Taking one in your mouth and playfully sucking, he nearly busts right then and there. 
"OK sweetheart, I-I can't hold back if you, fuck, if you d-do that-" 
You finally unhand him with a cheeky smile and straddle him, your underwear the only barrier between your sex and his throbbing length. 
"You OK there champ?" You ask, a mischievous grin plastered all over your face as you drag your perfect nails down his chest. 
"Y-yeah, I'm fine, I-" Eddie grabs your hand, stopping you in your tracks, "Please give me a minute, please." 
Eddie's eyes are big, wide and wet. Almost like a lost puppy. You're torn between wanting to hold him close, look after him, and fucking him hard until he cries. 
Suddenly he looks concerned, eyes growing impossibly wider. 
"I don't have, a-a condom or anything-" 
You chuckle lowly, bringing his hand to your lips, kissing softly at his knuckles. 
"Eddie, baby, I had my tubes tied years ago. It's OK. If it's OK with you?" 
Holy shit. Sammy's mom wants to ride me raw. Jesus Christ. 
His head is spinning; he realises he's nodding so hard he may have whiplash. You smirk at his response, the rigorous nodding and wide eyed look is just doing something to your insides; twisting them up, making you hungry. 
Maybe that's why you do what you do. You wink at him, and swing your leg over, pushing your underwear to the side once again. Though this time, you're straddling him backwards, round ass on display as you tease the head of his cock with your soaking wet lips. 
As you sink down onto him, you hear the guttural moan that strikes out from his soul almost, travelling swiftly to your core. He's big, you weren't lying. You feel each vein, each ridge, as you seat yourself fully onto his cock. 
This boy has no idea what he's packing. 
Jesus Christ, the spots this impressive length can reach are unreal. You bounce on him slowly, revelling in the stretch. He's throbbing underneath you, inside you. The sensation makes you moan wantonly, feeling sexier than you've felt in years. 
Eddie's mesmerised by your ass, watching it bounce on his dick, drooling at the shake of it when it plunges back down. His eyes are drawn to your tight hole, half hidden by the pricey underwear that still adorns you. Just a tiny slip of lace hugged in your ass cheeks. 
He's already pushed his luck; he's well aware of that fact. The arousal pumping through him has him throwing caution to the wind however, so he sucks his thumb, getting it nice and wet, and pushes it against your asshole.
It surprises you, sure, but you're moaning louder at his bold move. 
Eddie's reeling, dizzy at your reaction. He was expecting at least for you to just slap his hand away, but if anything you speed up and make even more noise. Fuck, if you could get more perfect, you just did. He pushes his digit in, feeling you clench around it, riding him for all he's worth. 
"Oh fuck, Eddie!" 
It's too much for you to take, being filled in both holes, riding him hard and fast until your vision is blurring and spots are in your eyes. Your release startles you, a fuzzy feeling filling you up from the inside out and exploding from your cunt in a gush. 
Reality seeps in as you come down from your high; pain in your knees searing up your leg. 
"Sweetheart, I need to get on top, please." 
It's a relief you're not prepared to admit to as you climb off, legs twitching and knackered. 
Near collapsing on the floor, Eddie's on you, falling in his excitement. He's forgotten his jeans are still woven around his ankles. He kicks them off and slides between your spread legs. 
"Can I take your panties off now sweetheart?" 
What he's not saying, is he really doesn't want to miss what might be the only time he gets to see you naked. You oblige, lifting up your hips so he can wrestle the sodden garment off you. 
As if you can hear his prayers, you unhook your bra too, flinging it toward the couch. Eddie's nearly having a heart attack; it's hammering hard in his chest, the only thing stopping it from bursting out is his ribcage. The sight of you, nude, beneath him? It's unravelling him in a way he didn't know was possible. 
So he loses it for a moment, burying his head in the valley of your breasts, licking and sucking as if his life depended on it. Your nipples stand to attention at his ministrations, yet your core hums at the lack of attention. 
"Eddie, please, I need you inside me." 
Fuck this is unreal. She's so beautiful and she's begging for me. Feels like a dream. 
But it's not a dream. He's pressing his quivering length against you again and your pussy is swallowing him up as if it's hungry for him. 
You let him in, his hard member spearing you, humping into you hard and rough. You groan against him, fingernails finding leverage in his broad shoulders. 
His arms hook under your sweaty knees, pulling them hard against your torso, angling himself to fuck into you mercilessly. 
"Fuck, you feel- so fuckin' good" He stammers out, slamming his hips into you. 
You're beyond words, screaming his name like it's the only word you know. 
"You gonna come again? Please, fuck, please come, I need it, I need it baby please" His babbling words fire out at you, driving you ceaselessly to another orgasm. 
Fingers wind between your heaving forms, running urgent circles over your clit. They slip and slide against your sodden nub, desperately seeking to get you to that precipice. You moan, and moan, and finally clench and scream his name, voice hard, burning in your throat.
Eddie can't take it, not the way your cunt is grabbing onto him so tightly, constricting his dick as if it's afraid he'll leave. He stutters his hips and grunts his own release deep into you. 
For a minute he doesn't stop, He refuses to stop. He doesn't want it to be over. So, he fucks his cum into you until it's impossible to continue and finally comes up for air. 
You envelop his lips into a suffocating kiss, swollen lips and tongue and spit. Messy and passionate, he returns it, glad that you still want to kiss him at the end of all things. 
Though, you don't want it to be over. His touch, his feel, his taste, you could soak it up, roll around in it forever, wrap yourself in his arms and stay. A mad thought. A maddening thought. 
Eddie slips from inside you making you frown at the loss. His smile is soaked in mischief however, as he starts to kiss down your front again, burying his head in the deep valley of your breasts, tongue lathering over the supple flesh and moving downwards. 
He's never, ever, felt the need to taste himself on another. As a matter of fact, if you had told him yesterday he would feel the desperate urge to press his tongue into a pussy that is dripping with his own cum he would have laughed in your face. But, this is your pussy. Your tight wet cunt, and he needs to taste it. He needs it like he needs air to breathe. For a second he stares up at you with big soulful eyes. 
"I wanna taste what we made." 
His words are shooting into the pulse spilling from your core.
"Really?" Your words drip in perplexity, amazed that any man would want that, but the thought lingers, making you realise that you want that. 
No further time wasted, he dives into your dripping core, tongue dragging through your aching lips. For a moment it's too much, until it drops into pleasure; pleasure that you sink into, melting under his touch. 
Eddie laps furiously at your clit, both of your releases dripping from his chin. He sinks thick fingers inside, squelching into your soft heat. 
Wordlessly, he takes his fingers out and reaches them up to your face. His eyes are trained on you, flat of his tongue rubbing against your swollen nub. 
Hesitantly, you take in the sight of his sticky fingers, before you take them into your mouth, sucking and hollowing your cheeks. The taste is indescribable; it's salty, sweet, tangy, each separate flavour hitting your tongue differently, fuelling your desires.
You're making Eddie's dreams come true with that gesture. Your trust in him, your filthiness, the way your tongue works against his fingers, it's all shooting to his heart, and his cock. He's impossibly hard again, groaning into your cunt. 
Another release is speeding toward you. You can feel yourself hurtling towards it, free falling into ecstasy. You grip around his wrist, fingers digging bruises into the tendons as your orgasm rushes out of you in a string of curse words. 
He moves back up your body and you envelop his slicked lips in a firm kiss. To your surprise, you can feel his hard member digging into your thigh. It's been a long time since you've been with anyone who couldn't go more than one round before rolling over and falling asleep. The joys of youth. 
"You OK Eddie?" You ask between breath-taking kisses. 
"OK? I'm fucking amazing sweetheart. Feel like I just won the lottery or something" He huffs a laugh, nudging the tip of his nose with yours. 
"You, erm-" you begin, feeling almost embarrassed, "-you wanna go again?" 
"Oh hell yeah." 
His tip is already begging at your entrance but you place a firm hand to his chest, stilling his movements. 
"Eddie, upstairs? My back is killing me." You admit it, the hard floor giving you aches and pains. 
"Fuck, yeah, sorry. Come on" practically leaping up, he holds out his hand to you and you grasp it in yours. You giggle at his eagerness, the sight of him stark naked leaping up the stairs three at a time stoking your amusement. 
This might be inappropriate, it might be a bit wrong, but damn, this is fun. Having someone desire you so much, who wants to fuck you over and over? Morals can kick in tomorrow. Tonight, you have a gorgeous young man aching to give you more. 
********************
"Hey, you still here?" 
You look up, distracted from your musings of last night. God, that boy had some stamina. 
"Huh?" 
"Wow, that date must have been good! You going to spill? Come on, tell me about it!" 
Blushing, you sip the glass of wine in front of you. Karen Wheeler had popped round unannounced with a bottle and you were sitting around your kitchen table whilst she grilled you about why you were smiling so much. She would lose her shit if she knew who you were smiling about. 
"I mean, I can't really talk about it." You mumble around your glass. 
"Oh God, why? Oh, he's married, I bet he's married! You naughty thing!" Her words are admonishing, but her cheeks are glowing. She's loving every minute of this. 
Why not? At least that would explain it away. 
"Yeah, he's married." 
"Oh my you're terrible!" She cackles, laughing. "How was he?" 
"I don't know what you're talking about Karen." 
"Oh, come on you're practically glowing! I know that look" She says, nodding sagely. 
"OK, look" You say, taking a gulp of wine for composure and a deep breath before it rushes out of your mouth in a torrid whisper. 
"It was fucking incredible, like toe curling incredible, you know? And he just kept going, I mean, honestly? The best I've ever had." 
Karen coughs and nods pointedly behind you. Glancing over your shoulder, you see him. 
Eddie. Fuck. 
He's standing there nonchalantly, leaning on the doorframe with a Cheshire cat grin. 
"Sorry for the interruption, just grabbing a couple beers." 
He bounces into the kitchen and fetches two beers from the fridge. 
"Me and Sammy are just working on the campaign. I'll er, leave you ladies to it." 
He practically skips out the room, leaving you red faced. 
"That Eddie?" You nod, face red as a beetroot. 
"He's grown up, hasn't he?" 
You steer away from this line of questioning, mortified that he heard what you said. 
"Only on the outside. You want a top up?" She agrees with a grin as you fill her glass up and she regales you with all the poolside gossip. When the bottle is done, she leaves with a wink, saying she'll keep your secret. If she only knew what that was. 
Eddie's on cloud nine right now, bouncing up the stairs three at a time. 
The best she's ever had. The best she's ever had. 
It's in his mind, playing in a loop. His mantra, a quote that will live deep in his chest from now until forever after. 
The best she's ever had. 
He flings the door open and flounces into Sammy's room, banging a beer down on the bedside table. 
"A beverage for you, good fellow!" 
"Aha! Fine work m'lord!" Sammy twists the cap off, tossing it in the bin. Eddie does the same, twisting to face the waste paper basket, and takes a long swig. 
"Eddie you dirty fuck." 
He freezes, ice pouring down his spine. Spinning on his heel, he turns to face Sammy.
"What are you on about?" He asks, a fake smile masking the fear that had bottomed out in his stomach. 
"I see the panties you've got in your back pocket, red ones. They're poking out! Dude, did you get lucky last night?" Sammy smirks, swigging his own beer.
He couldn't help himself. He swiped them when he was leaving. They were still wet, soaked with a mixture of his spit and your release. He'd sniffed them and got himself off twice this morning. 
Chill out. Sammy's grinning. He's got no clue who they belong to. 
Eddie relaxes and grins smugly back, laying on the floor, his back against the bed. 
"Oh, you have no idea." 
********************
Humming to yourself, you sort through the dirty clothes in the laundry room, separating darks and lights. 
Your thoughts drift yet again to that messy haired rocker. His large hands, his tight torso, his dick. Fuck, his dick. 
Shaking your head, you do what you can to rid your brain of your salacious thoughts, loading the washer a little more forcefully than you necessarily needed to. 
You hear the unmistakable click of the door behind you. Not bothering to turn, you huff as you shut the washer lid with a bang. 
"I swear to God Sammy if you need a shirt for tonight I've already-" 
"Hey sweetheart." 
Flipping to face the door, there he is. Arms folded across his slender chest, smug smirk spread stickly across his features, he stares at you. 
"Eddie, you need to leave." 
Your tone is stern, but your bottom lip disappears into your mouth, being nibbled at by your teeth. 
"You sure? Thought you might wanna see me. You know, since I'm the best you ever had." 
"Eddie shut the fuck up!" You hiss between your teeth, eyes flashing to the door. 
"Sweetheart, Sammy's fallen asleep. He had a long night. You know what that's like." 
"Eddie, that was a one time thing. God, it's not like this can go anywhere, so why are you here?" 
Tapping your foot impatiently, he closes the gap between you, cornering you between the wall and the washing machine. 
You want to be angry; to push him away and leave, but the pounding of your pulse between your legs betrays you. 
As if he knows, he slots his leg between yours, denim clad thigh hovering near your throbbing heat, pushing your sundress up in the process. 
"I know. Fuck, I'm well aware. I just wanna- help you out. Like, an arrangement" He smiles, knuckles reaching up to stroke your cheek. 
"Eddie-" 
Before you manage to form words, he's on his knees in front of you, large palms running over your bare thighs. 
"Please." 
That's all he says, wet doe eyes wide, gleaming up at you as if you were some sort of goddess and he was kneeling at your altar. 
Eddie's begging to the old Gods and the new; fuck it, to anyone who might be listening. He wants you, with everything he has. Each fibre is burning for you. He thought it might go away after last night, but it was simply a taste. A drop of water doesn't quench an undying thirst. 
This little sundress is doing nothing to sate his hunger for you. The flimsy material clings in all the right places, forcing his eyes to trail over your curves like a man starved. 
Without a thought in your head, you wind your fingers into Eddie's hair, relishing the feel of his hot breath on your naked thighs. Guiding his head forward, you shudder as his lips trace across your flesh. 
Eddie lifts your dress up, reaching desperately to pull your panties off and away before you change your mind. Slick sticking to them, he pulls them down, watching as they gradually peel from your core. 
He sits on his heels, eyes flitting from your eyes to your cunt. 
"Sweetheart, please. I just wanna- I wanna help you with your needs. Fuck, with my needs." 
Nodding emphatically, you tug at his hair, drawing him in. 
Eddie counts his blessings and dives straight at your pussy, lapping between the folds just like you taught him. 
"Oh God" you moan aloud, then bite at your hand to stop your noises. Flicking one leg over his shoulder, you force his head as close as you can, nearly riding his face. 
If anything, Eddie is a quick learner, at least when it comes to you. 
His tongue is electric, hitting all of the right spots. He feels your cunt on his tongue, leaving hot and heavy licks. Running his hand up your thigh again, he presses his thumb against your clenching hole, wiggling into your slick drenched pussy. 
"Eddie, yes!" You whisper, fingers pulling at his curls incessantly. Eyes rolling back, you rut your hips into him, on the brink of falling apart.
White hot light sears your eyelids as you  come with a stifled cry, cunt undulating around his thick digit. 
"Fuckfuckfuck!" 
Yanking his head away from you by the roots of his hair, you cannot fail to hear the unmistakable moan that spills from his lips. 
Eddie's staring up at you dumbfounded, as if you created the universe just for him. 
Panting, you stare back down at him, his lips parted and shining with your orgasm. 
"Eddie, holy hell." 
He stands, wiping the slick from his face with the back of his hand, though it does nothing to remove the grin. 
Against every better judgement, you grab him by the shirt and pull him closer, lips nearly touching. 
"You- you can't tell anyone about this, OK? Not a soul, understood?" 
If it were possible, his grin grows even wider, palm resting at your waist. 
"I can be discreet." He whispers as he presses his lips to yours. Winding fingers into his hair, you deepen the kiss, tongue moving expertly between his parted lips to taste him, and you. 
Eddie pulls away reluctantly. 
"I better go." 
As he moves to the door, hand hovering over the handle, you call out to him. 
"Eddie, wait." 
Turning his head, he looks at you. 
"Sammy's seeing Tiff again tonight, and er, Johnny's still at his grandma's." 
"Good to know." He winks and leaves. What you don't know is that he does a mini victory dance once the door is shut, fists pumping in the air with sheer joy. 
He doesn't know how long this is going to last, but he'll take every single second he can get with you whilst you let him. 
Taglist (just some likely candidates ;) )
@cursedyuta @eddiesprincess86 @munson-blurbs @rip-quizilla @emsgoodthinkin @josephquinnsfreckles @zestychili @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @eiightysixbaby @lightvixxen @ali-r3n @usedtobecooler @roanniom
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