#I'm actually gobsmacked

[matthewmoorwood]

Eddie Diaz cheating on his girlfriend with someone who looks exactly like his dead wife was NOT on my 2024 bingo card.

#circling back to the store after having an outing with your son and gf #so you can SAY to the workers face “yeah single dad” IS NUTS #EDDIE WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?? #not sure if I can apologise for this one king #Eddies fave habit is being a shit boyfriend #oh my god STOP TORTURING THESE WOMEN #Be free #be gay #DAYU #M #also buck saying “good cologne we don't wait up for you” #is AN INSANE thing to say #9-1-1 on abc #eddie diaz #I'm actually gobsmacked #dropping your kid off with your (boy)friend so you can cheat on your girlfriend with another woman is SO FUCKING CRAZY #EDDIE WHAT

[jungleclan]

I CANNOT BELIEVE that in like 24 hours my silly little Clangen has already reached 100 followers--the support has been SO incredible, and so I want to do a lil somethin' for you all 💖

Reblog this post with a Clangen cat--either from your own Clangen comic or a Clangen comic you like--and I'll make a lil artwork of them! First come first serve, so the first six will be chosen! Only rule is you must be following @jungleclan to enter!

Thank you guys again 🐅 Ya'll the real ones

EDIT: We got all our cats gang! But I'd still love to see your little guys if you still want to reblog <3

#jungleclan #jungleclan't #clangen #warrior cats clangen #100 followers #six fanarts #I'm actually so gobsmacked I did not expect to get this much support #warrior cats #wc #clangen comic

[wackysach]

sometimes...

sometimes you just have to close the app. and walk away.

just walk away.

#🍎🧃 chit-chat #for context this is not serious whatsoever. #i just watched somebody in a discord server simp over a building. #A BUILDING. NOT A HUMANIZED ONE. BUT A BUILDING. BRICKS. CONCRETE. #i'm. i'm actually mindboggled. gobsmacked. BEWILDERED. #i haven't felt this confused since the barbecue sauce and chex mix incident. i don't know how i'm going to recover.

[moe-broey]

Alfonse's faith in Ratatoskr and the fucking dynamic is so fucking insane though. Like. I'm in fucking awe. She knows EVERYTHING about him. Way too much about him. He knows next to nothing about her. All he knows is the first impression (saddest wettest poorest little thang in the whole wide world) and that she was sent to kill him. Lightning fast judgement and assessment of her character and he fucking. Decides. I'm going to put my life on the line for you because I trust that you trust me. That you know me enough to trust me. Even though you're a stranger to me. Even though it's been previously established that I have one million interpersonal issues and trouble letting people in. Dude what the FUCK

#fire emblem #feh #LIKE. SOMETHING ABOUT ALFONSE. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. you acknowledge him Once (1) on an interpersonal level #and if he feels seen and heard he's going to INSTANTLY get in way too deep and go ride or die. NO warning #i'm still so obsessed and so gobsmacked. they were fuckinh conspiring. alfonse TOLD her to do that. it WASN'T a betrayal. it was his PLAN #AND I'M GOING SO SICKO INSANE MODE OVER IT. you can extrapolate SO MUCH FROM THIS #like it's p much been debunked as a translation error but i still firmly hc he sees sharena in her #maybe a younger sharena. but like esp w the female charas i feel his relationship w sharena bleeds into everything he does. #ALSO SPEAKING OF. WWWAHGHHGH SHARENA SPEAK TO ME #I'M GOING SOOOOOOO INSANE OVER IT. SO FUCKING INSANE OVER IT #my hands can't fucking keep up w my brain running a million miles a minute and my thumbs hurd so bad. #BUT I NEED TO MAKE ONE BILLION COMICS ABOUT IT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #FUCK. sometime i should actually draw ratatoskr too LMFAOOOOOOOO #i NEEED to be insane over sharena first though. first and foremost. it is SO important to me. #fe alfonse #ratatoskr

[scrawlingskribbles]

still endlessly fascinating to me that the whole "Casanova"/"romance" angle of Raymond's character is just a word-of-god informed trait that we never actually.... see, in-show?? Like, if you're Just watching the episodes without any other contact to fandom/Krew stuff, Raymond is purely just a haughty sports-themed bot with a bit of a flair for the dramatic, so Ernesto's jab at him in Let's Watch The Boxmore Show about needing to "pick a lane" between Sports or Romance feels like it comes?? completely out of left field????? 😂😂 (yes, sports pun intended lol) Like... is it just because of his whole roses/flowers motif??? Is that really all it takes to somehow constitute "romance" here?? Because I call BS on that honestly xD 'Romance' as a concept has way more depth/complication than simply "the existence of roses/flowers"; not to make another pun so soon, but It Takes Two To Tango as the saying goes, and the only person Raymond ever (sort-of?) tangoed with was Rad but that dance battle was definitely Not romantic-coded, so?? xD (Insert joke here about Second First Date largely consisting of a date-fight with a focus on flowers which Was supposed to be romantic-coded but SHHH x'3c) But at the same time, if the flowers aren't supposed to be the reasoning then W H E R E are we supposed to have seen any kind of ""romance"" from Raymond for Ernesto's line to make sense??? Please, I am genuinely asking to be shown the logical thread here, it's been killing me for years now and I simply Cannot see it jhgjshgkjsg x''3

#OK KO #baffled. absolutely *gobsmacked*. like I know it's a kids cartoon and he's nowhere near a Main/focus character #but you can't go making claims of Casanova and Romance-Bot and then NEVER actually show that at all??? #I mean my Actual theory for why they refer to him like that is that it's like. a workaround/codeword for The GayTM #which then makes Ernesto calling him out for it even more rude & tbh kinda hilarious but I digress xD #''oh no he's totally flamboyant & dramatic & XYZ because he's a ~RoMaNcE~ robot; don't worry Censors there's nothing to see here <3'' #and yeah again this is Specifically about Ernesto calling him out for something that we Never saw on-screen in-show #so like if there were other PlansTM or whatever that didn't make it in then fine I get that but then you need to cut Ernesto's line too #because otherwise it just doesn't make sense 😂 #OKAY I'm done with this ramble for now; my apologies for taking up your dash/screen space with this nonsense x3c #shut up Wisp

[famdommcfanface]

That was the straightest show I've ever seen featuring 5 lesbians

#doctor who #yes I'm counting Kate #okay it wasn't particularly straight except for Tegan's husbands #but I'm actually gobsmacked we didn't get a Thasmin kiss #doctor who spoilers

[todayisafridaynight]

confession: sometimes I come to look at your art as references because you have noted details like moles + looking at what colors u put down in my quest to find what something looks like under neutral lighting I know the shit here has been thoroughly researched

i will be normal upon learning this news.

#fave #snap chats #JUST KIDDINGLAKJVKLE I CANT EVEN MAKE A FUNNYMAN™️ COMMENT THAT'S SUCH AN HONOR THANK YOU SO MUCH #especially when i'm such a fan of your own work... i love your lighting and shading and how Shaped everyone is so much... #just the FEEL yk i cant explain it but your art just feels super great to look at.. #the funniest thing bout being sent this today is ironically i was gonna make more 'model sheets' for myself like how i did with y2 daigo #dunno why i just felt compelled to do so.. just so i could draw bitches without having to think ACTUAL Rotating Like An SSBB Trophy moment #except this one i'd make more note heavy..... cause idk i always wanted to do that tbh.. #if my arm didnt hurt i probably would ☠️ maybe tomorrow or if im too stubborn later tonight i will ☠️☠️ #but wow... again thank you that means a lot. new favorite compliment achieved thank you... #i do spend hours looking at these bitches so im glad. im glad thats apparent i pay attention 😫 #in truth i dont even draw EVERY mole on every character- daigo is esp awkward because his moles change throughout games #the moles i draw are specifically for the ps3 era/y3-75 #he has different moles in the dragon engine- they're actually on the right side of his face opposed to the left: theyre entirely different #AND IM GOBSMACKED BOUT THE COLORS BIT people tell me my colors are nice but its still ?? for me to acknowledge that sometimes #like not BAD OF COURSE NO NO IM REALLY HAPPY im just.. hm... i didnt think i was doing anything nice.. #in any case again. thank you. ive made it clear this is a big compliment I Will Can It now ☠️

[ybcpatrick]

are you there god? it's me kell.......................... yeah, it's that wrestler again.

#shut up kell #this blog is turning into a confessional booth for my sins #you guys remember back when magic mike first came out and every single cishet woman over the age of 25 went cuckoo over channing tatum? #i understand now. i get them fundamentally. #the unbearable soulcrushing self-respect-obliterating crush i have on ko is the same fucking thing. AWFUL #that stupid quebecer unlocks the same sleeper agent in me that straight men have for ryan reynolds i swear to god #down beyond apocalyptic. down heat-death-of-the-universe style over him #local demisexual experiences an Exception. more at 11 /j /j /j #editing immediately actually. i got more to say #its not even that its an '''exception''' like i am firm in my demisexuality that's fine i'm cool #but he just..... man i don't know what is WRONG WITH ME i feel ILL ABT IT #he's so fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and for WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #IT'S DEBILITATING. every single stupid fucking thing he does has me smiling and stimming so hard you'd think i was preparing for takeoff #category 5 ​flappy bird moment for REAL #he's so hot. he's so fucking hot. i am flabbergasted at my own behaviour out here. positively gobsmacked. #(i say ''my behaviour'' as if it isn't just me playing minecraft and watching matches he's been in so i can max out my audhd stats) #i cannot tell if i want to look like him or make out with him or chew on him like rubber polly pocket clothes. I DONT KNOW. #i am. so sane. you guys seein how well adjusted and normal i am out here? goddamn this place is MAGNIFICENT

[spiinsparks]

        ||. not to be that guy who talks endlessly about a previous game but honestly  forces timeline sonic is just so angry all the time i can’t handle it

#(so much pent up rage) #(like idk i keep just going back to the cutscenes just to make sure i'm not forgetting any details) #(and i keep getting gobsmacked by how :knife: he is) #(gets out and is immediately like 'yeah i have 6 months of payback i'm dying to spend') #(and then when he's w the rookie for the first time it's bc he's like 'yes let me trash eggman's place') #(knuckles offers aid bc he JUST got out and sonic is like 'NO NEED' so fast like guys) #(when he's still figuring out wtf is going on w shadow and he's so >:T when he says hiis name like wtf) #(immediately tunnel-visioning on infinite bc he 'can't wait to get another go' at him like im) #(he's so ready to fight everyone and everything around him) #(which i mean makes sense but also like dang) #(ok homie. you've been gone for 6 months and plunged headfirst into a war and this is what we're doing ok) #⸨ * OOC ⸩ — he was never actually called a rodent in the games but yknow . #⸨ * HC ⸩ — i’m gonna reach for the stars although they look pretty far . #⸨ * FORCES ⸩ — my heart & soul - are incorruptible .

[expectiations]

I don't have much patience for people who read something and then twist their interpretation to fit their beliefs. like homie, Patience broke the curse and you're insisting she didn't have naturally born babies because it wasn't explicitly stated??? what in the universe then what'd she break the curse for?? literally growls

#i know i know i should stay away from those kind of people but i was gobsmacked okay? speechless astounded dazed surprised #patience doctor who #dw musings #tia yaps too much #i use multiple question marks when i'm actually honestly frustrated

[genshinarchives]

Cyno, Al-Haitham, Kaveh, Tighnari / gender-neutral reader.

Synopsis: Cyno's, Kaveh's and Tighnari's reactions to Al-Haitham introducing you as his partner.

Cyno looked at Al-Haitham, then at you as if he was making a detailed analysis of your characters inside his head. While he normally wouldn't butt into other people's love affairs, he couldn't help but internally question your choice of partner.

Of all the people you could have dated in Sumeru, you chose the Scribe? Al-Haitham has zero dating experience, is a chronic bookworm and probably a sociopath deep inside. Cyno was positive that he wouldn't hesitate to abandon you for a measly book about communicating with cats if it ever came to that.

Nu-uh. Al-Haitham doesn't deserve someone like you.

"I think you should break up with him, (y/n)," he bluntly said as he shuffled the deck of cards.

"Cyno, I'm right here."

Kaveh was flabbergasted. Gobsmacked. Stupefied. Bamboozled.

If The Scream existed in Teyvat, that's what Kaveh looked like at the moment.

Since when was Al-Haitham dating you? He doesn't even look like the type to be romantically interested in someone!

Dropping his glass of wine, the architect staggered over to you and clamped his hands down on your shoulders with a disturbed look, beads of cold sweat rolling down his forehead.

There has to be a logical reason behind you, the sweetest angel in Teyvat, dating his sociopathic roommate.

"Are you being threatened?" he asked, puzzling you, "Or... do you have Stockholm Syndrome?" His mind was a whirlpool of unlikely hypotheses, and you swear you could see the spirals in his eyes. "If you need help, you can always come to me."

"Oi."

Tighnari laughed at the news and patted your shoulder as he congratulated the two of you. He knew that Al-Haitham had been secretly crushing on you for the past six months, and was glad that the Scribe actually took his advice after the latter sent him countless letters asking for tips on courting you, including letters detailing how he screwed up pathetically on some attempts.

What is he, a love counsellor?

Tighnari let out a muted sigh, shaking his head at Cyno and Kaveh badmouthing Al-Haitham to you right in front of the man himself, who looked less than pleased by his friends' behaviour.

Although he's happy to see you and Al-Haitham together...

His smile suddenly became strained.

He definitely thought that you could do better than this.

Taglist: @coco-goat-milk / @m3gitsune / @melkxsh / @irethepotato / @frostines-blog / @xphantasmagoriax / @crunchy-princeles / @nanamisflowerfield / @dulcetamore / @beowlet-spam / @sinnyrants / @chuusposts / @austrae / @chocogi / @angelkazusstuff / @flowwerpot / @mintydump / @kiraisastay / @niktwazny303 /

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin scenarios #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #cyno #kaveh #tighnari #gender neutral reader #✍️ : alice writes

[call-me-strega]

Dc x Dp prompt #1: Angel

I'd like to preface this by saying I'm incorporating tropes I've seen in other posts.

~~~

Jason has been a lot happier recently. His Pit Rage has been getting less and less frequent, he's cooking and coming over to the manor a lot more, and he even let Dick hug him last week without threatening bodily harm!

The rest of the batfam, while happy for him, are curious about the change. So one night at dinner they ask him what's up with him and why he's so happy recently. Surprisingly, instead of taking it the wrong way and getting mad Jason is eager to share.

Apparently, Jason has a boyfriend now. Yay!

He goes on and on about this civilian he met after stoping a cult who was trying to summon a deity and how he is this nerdy college kid who really likes space and how their civilian identies shared the same Gen Ed course so he made an effort to become friends. Turns out that nerdy space guy had caused the initial improvement in mood and his offer to go on a date to an incredibly diverse and well-stocked library had been the cherry on top.

The only thing is that Jason didn't want them stalking the guy and refered to him around the family exclusively as "Angel". Everyone thinks that's just a cute pet name he gave the guy as a way to both reference and distract the civilian from the cult ritual he was probably rescued from. Little do they know that it's actually because "Angel" was not a victim of the cult ritual but the summonee, that appeared in the form of a biblically accurate angel.

One day some supernatural entity decideds to attack Gotham and everyone is calling whoever they can think of for back-up. Batman calls Constantine, Nightwing calls Zatana, Red Robin and Robin are contacting the Justice League, and even Red Hood seems to call someone.

The situation is getting desperate. The JL is here but at most the can just slow the supernatural being down. Constantine and Zatana are still 20 minutes out and things are looking bad when another Eldritch Being spawns and seems to take down the threat in one move.

Everyone stands stunned as the being turns to them and in a booming voice exclaims "DON'T BE AFRAID. I WAS CALLED TO HELP". They all go through several emotions upon hearing those words. Where did this being come from? Is this a biblically accurate angel? Who called it here to help? Was it Zatana or maybe Constantine? Are they here yet? Upon looking around it is found that Zatana and Constantine are not here yet and the heroes get ready to engage this being carefully when a voice calls out

"Angel!"

Everyone whips their heads around to see Jason climbing over debris towards the Eldritch Being in front of them. The Batfam feels faint with a creeping realization and Superman swears he heard Batman's heart skip a beat for a second. Before anyone can ask Jason what he's doing the being shapeshifts into the much smaller form of a young fae-like creature with pointed ears, fangs, stark white hair, and vibrant green eyes floating in the air. He flys over to Jason before a flash of bright light leaves a young man deep black hair and frosty blue eyes in Jason's arms.

Jason turns to introduce his boyfriend to his family and the League only to find that Batman has fainted, a panicking JL, and a gobsmacked Zatana and Constantine have who've arrived in time to see the transformation. As Zatana and Constantine begin to freak out and prepare defensive magic Batman comes to and levels a scowl at Jason.

"Hood, I think you have some explaining to do."

#dp x dc crossover #dc x dp #dc universe #danny phantom #danny fenton #batfamily #batfam #batman #red hood #jason todd #the justice league #john constantine #zatanna #dead on main #danny x jason #dp x dc #Strega’s dc x dp prompt

[a-hazbin-reader]

Hey! Love your stuff! But i kinda notice you mainly do Vox and Al so...

Can you do like....... A husker x child!reader headcanons ? (Platonic ofc)

The old bartender finds a kid completely without adult supervision at a bar (their just drawing ) , goes up to them to find thier guardian only to realise they dont have any?

Husker wants to get rid of them but they ultimately grow on him and they become closer. The kid is sarcastic and they shit on alastor together....

And they draw a mocking pic of the radio demon and stick it onto the fridge of the hotel for everyone to see?

There is a LOT of Vox and Alastor in my inbox but I'm a sucker for Husk so-

Husk X Reader Headcanons

❌️Romantic

✅️Platonic

TW: Unaccompanied minor in places a baby shouldn't be

Description: 👆⬆️

Sometimes Husk just needs a break from being a bartender, wanting to be the one being served

He wants to relax in his free time and just have a moment to himself

Actually starts to let loose when he suddenly feels a tiny hand tugging on his wing

Husk is so confused when he looks down to see a child staring up at him, clutching dirty paper and crayons

"Can you help me up, mister..? The chairs are too high..."

Sets you up on the barstool next to him, still too stunned to really ask why you're even here

He looks at the bartender as they pass him his drink, gesturing to you with a wtf expression

They just shrug as they give you a plastic cup with water in it, obviously used to having you around by that point

Finally snaps out of it once the bartender pushes a plate of food towards you

Don't look at him like that it's perfectly natural to be freaked out by a kid at a bar

You're just kicking your legs and drawing, munching on the food given to you

You shouldn't be in a rowdy place like this, who's supposed to be watching you??

"So uh...does your mommy take you here often?"

"No, does yours?"

Motherfucker you're already spilling your water on yourself-here let him help you-how are you so bad at this???

"Your papa then?"

"No, I don't have any parents but- *insert bartender's name* -is really nice and let's me hang out in here.."

You're breaking his fucking heart, kid

"Oh well...don't mind me then."

"Uh yeah, I won't."

Sarcastic for such a little squirt, aren't you?

His drink suddenly tastes sour and he's no longer in the mood for another, watching you unhappily

Starts seeing you every time he visits the bar, always keeping to yourself and oblivious to the things going on around you

At first, he's annoyed whenever he sees you, reluctantly keeping an eye on you and making sure nobody bothers you

Even if they do, you're so witty for your age that you leave just about everyone gobsmacked by the shit that comes out of your mouth

The whole point of coming where was to relax and instead he's worrying about some kid

Then that annoyance slips away to reluctant fondness as you worm your way into his old heart

He starts to look forward to seeing you and starts bringing little things for you like clothes, toys, coloring books

Listens to you babble about what you do with your days and how you've managed to survive on your own

Not the bartender developing a crush on him for it

Husk doesn't even realize how attached he is until one day he visits the bar and you aren't there, the bartender distracted and upset

You haven't shown up in couple of days

He immediately goes looking for you, frequenting all the places he's heard you mention

Is asking anyone if they've seen you, getting more frantic with each negative answer

Finally finds someone who knows where you are, leading Husk to where you've been hiding out

And now he knows why you haven't shown up

Husk gathers up your shaking, feverish body, hating the fact that you're so sick

"H-Husk..?"

You can barely even open your eyes, he can feel your little body burning up in his arms

"Hey kid..."

He's not leaving you here

He takes you back to the hotel so that you can be properly taken care of, leaning on the others when he doesn't know what to do

Charlie and Vaggie are the biggest helps tbh, they're actually good at caring for people

Alastor is entirely unhelpful except for the fact that he can provide medicine and other supplies

"My my~ Look at what the cat dragged in! Aha!"

"Shut up...you weird strawberry man.."

Even when you're sick you're still a riot

He tries to keep Niffty tf away from you but you think she's funny

He and Angel are your makeshift heaters, so fuzzy and warm that you want to cuddle them all the time

Angel complains the entire time though so you don't really prefer him

Mostly you want Husk with you and he sticks with you until you're feeling better

By then you're well acquainted with everyone at the hotel and they're all quite attached to you

Everyone agrees that you live there now and you get your own room even though you have a habit of sleeping in Husk's

It's okay, Husk looks forward to waking up to your adorable face and doesn't even mind when you kick him in your sleep

You play with Niffty and Angel, learn from Charlie and Vaggie, bother Alastor with your less than flattering renditions of him

You don't like that Alastor is so rude to Husk so you've taken to being a little thorn in his side

Kids pick up on their parent's emotions what can I say

Which Alastor absolutely hates but hides it behind a tight smile, he's surprisingly patient with you

And if those drawings of Alastor on the fridge suddenly go missing?? Husk can always ask you to make him another one

Husk finds himself thinking of you as his kid more and more often, surprised that you ever got this close to his heart

And you yourself slip up a few times and call him dad/papa/daddy/father/pops

You're always a little embarrassed by the chorus of awwws that follow afterwards but you don't really mind it anymore

And neither does he if he's being honest

He struggles sometimes to be a proper caregiver for you but you always seem to just love him more for his flaws

You're too fucking cute

You're definitely his kid

And don't worry Husk lets the bartender know you're safe and brings you to visit them after their shifts

I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS I LOVE DADDY!HUSK SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT TOO

#hazbin hotel husk x reader #husk x reader #hazbin hotel x reader

[tennessoui]

im sure this has been done soooo many times but gffa au where anakin goes to the jedi council and fesses up to being married and they immediately think he means to obi-wan and he thinks they understood that it's to padmé

("how old were you when you got married?" "Nineteen, just after I became a Jedi Knight. I wasn't a padawan anymore!"

"Consensual, was it? Feel pressured, did you?"

"Not at all! I had to do the convincing. I really begged, for like. an embarrassingly long amount of time. I wanted this marriage more than anything in the entire galaxy."

"Has this marriage affected your reasoning during the war?"

"no way! We have the same principles, fight for the same things. Now I'm just fighting to come home as well so we can be together again.")

and anakin doesn't realize this until obi-wan gets back from a mission, does his debrief with the council, and comes to anakin's quarters with the strangest look on his face. "padawan, why did six members of the Jedi Council just wish me congratulations on my nuptials? to. my. former. padawan."

and anakin is gobsmacked and goes about trying to set the record straight, but now no one believes that he isn't married to obi-wan. they think padmé has agreed to be the cover-up because obi-wan got pissy that anakin told the council before he felt ready.

and to top it all off, now anakin can't stop thinking about actually being married to his master. he hadn't realized that was an option?? but everyone's making some pretty strong cases for it......

#kit's silly lil aus #obikin #all the jedi are just like yeah youre obsessed with him of course you begged to marry him #and he's obsessed with you of course he gave in and said yes when you were a knight #whats not making sense here #meanwhile anakin is having a meltdown over it #everyones finding evidence for their case and it's compelling!! #padme found it funny at first but its less funny as it goes on #and she starts realizing that anakin is taking it sorta maybe way too much to heart #in the worst way #also obi-wan has not made eye contact with anakin in like 3 weeks anakin is about to lose his shit

[alwaysshallow]

ex!bf soap most certainly asks you out on valentine's day.

actually, no. he doesn't ask you out, he just informs you that it's gonna happen a few hours before the dinner reservation.

he texts you that you should "dress up nice" and be ready at seven—he absolutely doesn't care that you're calling him a delusional freak and you basically say that he has no chance. nope. in his mind, it's you trying to be "sassy" and he actually finds it adorable.

soap seems genuinely confused when he finds that you're in fact not ready for the date. you're casually in your sweats, hair in a ponytail, absolutely gobsmacked and irritated that he has the audacity to be here as your ex boyfriend, completely ignoring what you've told him.

"i really tried to get this spot, lassie," he starts, hovering over you. there's something dark behind his gaze when he practically pins you to the wall with his body. it's not the playful, unserious johnny that you know, but someone else. someone that you can't quite put together. "just put something pretty, yeah?"

"i'm not gonna go with you," you almost growl; and something changes in the air. cold goes right through you when he grabs your throat, his fingers clenching around it tightly. not the sexual way, not the aroused way that's typical for sex with him. it's like he actually wants to... make you listen.

"don't make this more difficult. i want to be nice, but yer makin' me real mad. i don't want it, do you?" he cocks an eyebrow. "the last thing i want is to hurt you."

you want to protest, but when you don't answer, he tightens the grip. the fear takes a toll on you, so you just nod. and suddenly, he doesn't choke you anymore. he backs off a little, gives you space. turns into a different man that is a sheer contrast to the one that was a second ago; he actually smiles.

"good girl. ye need help in picking the dress? maybe the one that i bought for ye a year ago?"

you take a big breath.

it's gonna be a long evening—and it's just the beggining.

#lumi inspired me. or should i say: my ex #john soap mactavish #soap x you #soap x reader #john mactavish x reader #x reader #cod x reader #soap mactavish #soap mactavish x reader #soap cod #cod mw2

[acewithapaintbrush]

"My dad has the hots for your dad!"

Amity can only stare as Hunter slams his hands down on the table she is working at. He glares at her with narrow eyes and a mouth pressed firmly into a thin line. The perfect picture of determination and confidence. 

"What. Did you just say?" 

He immediately deflates at her pointed and icy tone. His hands leave her table and fidget with his overalls and hair instead while he squirms from side to side, eyes averted and cheeks blushing. 

"I-uhm. I read that in one of Mama Camila's books. It- well, I mean, it means-" 

Amity cuts him off. "I know what it means. Didn't Camila forbid you from reading them?" 

Them being the small paperbacks with the half naked humans on the front. Usually a woman in distress with a very well built male, rescuing her from certain doom with wet hair and big abs. The first time Camila had caught Hunter reading one of them she'd almost burst a blood vessel and ripped it right out of his hands. 

"Nonononono," she had chanted and hugged a perplexed Hunter to her chest, carding a hand through his hair. "Those books are way too spicy for an innocent, cute boy like you!" 

Hunter huffs and puffs. "I'm an adult. She can't tell me what to read." At Amity's raised eyebrow he mutters "And she didn't find the one hidden under my mattress." 

He shakes his head and takes her shoulders to shake her a little. She allows it, 'cause she can see how agitated he is. "But that's not the point! Darius has… he likes your dad. As in like-like! And we gotta figure out how we feel about that." 

Amity thinks about Darius. The dashing rebel, who had been pulling the strings of an uprising in the shadows from the start. A headstrong abomination user. He would definitely be a big step up from Odalia, that's for sure. 

She imagines Darius as her father's new partner and discovers that she is more than okay with that. 

Amity is not naive. She knows her father needs a headstrong partner at his side, someone who is not afraid to take the reins in a relationship. Not like Odalia, who's taken that to mean that she should micromanage every facet of his life and turn him into someone he is not, but someone who reminds her father to eat and to leave work alone every once in a while. 

"I approve." Amity says and seeing Hunter's desolate expression narrows her eyes. "You got a problem with my dad?" 

"What?" Hunter lets her shoulders go as if they have burned him. "No, of course not! He's super cool! I just… Arrrrrg!" He rapidly runs his hands through his hair. "I just don't know if I can handle a second parental figure!"

"Uhhh."

He starts walking up and down in front of her, Waffles flying after him with happy little trills. "Things with Darius are good right now. He told me to call him Dad and it's… It's yeah, you know? But it's also a bit awkward sometimes, you know? The only father figure I ever had before… Well. And we are still trying to find our rhythm, you know? How am I supposed to deal with another parent right now?"

"Hunter!" Amity has to shout to get him to stop. She can't believe she is having this conversation right now. "Hunter. You do know that you have like, four parental adults in your life. Don't you?" 

He blinks at her and his blank face tells her everything she needs to know. She wants to face-palm so bad right now. "What?" 

Amity starts counting on her hand. "You call Camila Mama Camila." 

"Wha- But that's just-", he splutters. Amity talks right over him. 

"Eda calls you her Fledgling at least once a week and she and Raine are kinda a packaged deal. Grandma and Grandpa Clawthorne call you son so often, I don't even know if they know your real name. Every time Lilith fusses over your scars she mutters 'my poor boy' under her breath. And let's not forget Willow's parents who took one look at you and had the adoption papers ready." Amity looks at her hands, which have barely been enough to count on. "Oh look at that. Not four but eight, actually."

Hunter looks gobsmacked and not a little teary eyed. Amity pats his shoulders, just a little relieved that he has apparently forgotten about their parents budding romance over this new revelation. She'd rather not get involved in that for as long as possible. 

"Face it, Hunter. You are pretty much public son number one at this point." 

🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦

There is no reason for this except that I had the image of hunter saying "my dad has the hots for your dad" and me running with it

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