#I'm just glad I never wrote it out and shared it on the internet

[simplyholl]

Although I was a constant lurker for months, today marks my one year as a Loki writer. It has been so fun whoring out with all of you. There have been too many laughs to count. By some miracle, I’ve reached a little over 1,000 followers. I’m shook that so many of you are interested in partaking in my wildest fantasies. But I am so thankful for all of you. If you have read, liked, commented, or reblogged anything - thank you from the bottom of my heart! I love reading every wild thing you have to say about these scenes I’ve created.

Sometimes I will just sit there and read your comments over and over in complete shock that my words would elicit such responses. I am so thankful for our little corner of the internet where we can unashamedly be ourselves. We all have different backgrounds, cultures, and lives but we can all agree we just want our favorite god to dick us down.

I’ve made lifelong friends from doing this, and I would’ve never met them otherwise.

@lokisgoodgirl Thank you for giving me the kick in the cooch I needed to start posting my writing. I would have none of this, if it wasn’t for you. Your words of encouragement mean everything to me. Thank you for being my tech expert for the first little bit. I would never give anyone else my login info. You’ve helped me get through some of the toughest times of my life and I am forever grateful for your friendship. I love listening to your voice notes. Your “Good morning” always puts a smile on my face. I hope we can meet in person one day, although I can’t promise that I would keep my hands to myself. I love you endlessly.

@wheredafandomat I only met you at the end of January, but it feels like I have known you my whole life. Is it possible for two people to share the same brain? Because I’m sure that we do. You can make a 2 hour phone call feel like 5 minutes. I’m lucky to have you in my life. My frequent collaborator and birthday twin - I love you so much.

I couldn’t think of a celebration that I wanted to do, but I wanted to share some of my favorite comments over the course of my time on here.

#burdened with a glorious manhood

-@coldnique

The threat to use his vibranium hand to do the choking was just the cherry on top of my death day cake. This is a filthy masterpiece

- @joyful-enchantress

Well spank me sideways, this went from O-deranged in 2.5 seconds AND I'M NOT MAD ABOUT IT

- @thedistractedagglomeration

Ohhhhhh he talks her out of her hero panties and in to his heart

- @cakesandtom

"sit on his face darling" l'm not gonna survive another paragraph I swear to god.this is too much in the best way

- @lokisgoodgirl

The thought of being an avenger and having Loki fuck you senseless is stupid hot, but add into it him talking about making you carry his secret sex baby and still be an avenger is 🔥🔥🔥

- @itsybitchylittlewitchy

Take that you little shit! I am so glad he saw them together and still mounted at that!

- @silver-tongue-taken-to-bed

I mean it's a fitting description after all the devil is tempting and so is Lokis dick

- @fictive-sl0th

You had me at President Loki and biting!

- @marygoddessofmischief

should have really realized that it was you, my dear, who wrote this!

- @smolvenger

I don't need legs, l'll just drag myself around.

- @goblingirlsarah

Spelling his....spelling his name.. ☠️☠️

- @lokisgoodgirl

absolute genius. i read the part about considering staying with him even if just for the sex and i was like "YOU GO Y/N GO GET THAT MULTIVERSAL ASGARDIAN DICK"

- @muddyorbsblr

Yeah Narfi you little bitch. Take that!

- @wheredafandomat

This was so naughty!!! When the vacuum fell and he was like, "fuck it" then continues to pound you harder!!! 🥵🥵🥵

- @mochie85

I neeeed a tall Loki to be my coworker for the job I don't have so he can fuck me in the storage closet

- @wheredafandomat

The best part of waking up is Bucky & Loki in your cup!! WAY better than Folgers.

- @km-ffluv

IT WAS PHENOMENAL. would have tears in my eyes with how proud I am if I wasn't so horny

- @lokisgoodgirl

Just for fun,

If anyone wants to give it a re-read, here’s the first fic I posted.

Snowed In

And this is actually the first thing I wrote

Across the Multiverse

It’s been a great year. I can’t wait to share more horny, unhinged, wild fantasies with you in the next one.

All my love,

-Holly 💚🖤

#loki #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson #loki fanfiction #loki fandom

[imaginarylungfish]

AUDHD 👏 GOJO 👏

I’m right there with you so, in true AuDHD style, I’m zooming into your inbox to infodump because I’m ALWAYS desperate to scream about this (shout out to @ellionwrites for patiently and compassionately listening to my unpolished rambles about a lot of this stuff in private)!

I actually have a LOT of thoughts about 236 and how it’s Gojo’s “unmasking”. That chapter is really emotional for me because of how well it articulates my personal experience of navigating the world as an autistic person. This post (and especially its tags) from right after it came out says it in a much more concise way, but Gojo’s upset pout breaks my heart because, to me, that's evidence of “no matter how much you try, people will misunderstand you” and damn… that hits a little close to home 🥲

It’s why his death had such a strong impact on me, especially when it felt like half the internet was ignoring the actual words Gojo said to claim “he never cared about that stuff, he was arrogant from the start and you just misread him". In combination with “it was the best ending for a character like Gojo" — right after we find out how deeply lonely he’s been, never able to truly connect with anyone after Geto left? Well, it was mindblowingly meta and, therefore, pretty painful to read.

I wrote an analysis of Gojo’s character in 236 and, even though I wasn’t viewing him through an autistic lens for that particular post, I think my words under the cut still read that way — that’s how baked into his character I think this stuff is! I genuinely think the two pairs of sorcerers sitting with their backs to each other is a visual representation of the double empathy problem. I'm not sure autistic and allistic people can ever arrive at a place where we fully understand each other, but that doesn’t mean autistic people have to carry all the burden and remain isolated. That’s why it’s meaningful that Gege makes it clear that all the characters care about each other, even if they don’t see eye-to-eye.

Glad to see you shouting about this reading of his character, because I haven’t seen many people talking about it. Some people are very hostile to ND headcanons, especially for characters as popular as Gojo, which is why I haven’t really talked about it much myself. However, I feel like any fellow AuDHDers who read my fic must be side-eying me constantly because I don’t think I’m subtle about how I write Gojo’s character at ALL 🤪

Maybe it’s time to be brave and publicly share my 236 AuDHD!Gojo manifesto for the five of us who are standing in a circle screaming about this! Cheering you on and sending lots of love ♥️

Ahhhhh thank you so much for this infodump!!!! I was on a AuDHD!Gojo rampage last night as my brain worm hit right as I should have been going to sleep. But such are things....

Like idk why it didn't truly hit me until now, but I can't unseen Gojo as AuDHD. (It was probably because I re-watched "Everything's Gonna be Okay" with some AuDHD representation and then I started thinking of other AuDHD characters and immediately thought of Gojo.) I did play with the idea a few months back, but it hit me with full force yesterday.

Idk like I get a little annoyed with people who think I or others like Gojo just because "he's hot" because like okay fine yes (but also I think I just have gender envy but that's a whole other can of worms). But also, no no no that's not it! My love for Gojo is more than that! He speaks to me as a character. He's misunderstood. He's seen as something he isn't. In my eyes, he's neurodivergent (and queer). And Geto was the only other person who ever saw him for who he really was.

Gojo's death was really hard on me. I remember exactly where I was when I read that chapter. And then the airport. Fuck. EmOtIOns. At first, I tried understanding Nanami's words. I really did. But really, I just didn't if I'm honest. Those words were a shock to me. Like yeah okay he's selfish (but like aren't all humans?). He also helps though! Isn't that obvious? And at the end? He wanted to have an equal to go all out with in a fight. Again, why was that bad? He was also helping! What's the issue? He's a fallible human. Like you said in your analysis, he contains multitudes. What's wrong with that?

So, like many others, I thought maybe I misread Gojo. But no. Now I think the missing piece was that Gojo is AuDHD and Nanami didn't quite get that. He didn't understand Gojo's actions. (And ahh god that lil pout. Gojo was just living his life and people saw him but they never ~saw~ him.)

I think the visual of the sorcerers back-to-back is a great metaphor for the double empathy problem. I never saw it that way, but I see it now and like it! And I think you're so right with the fact that the characters still respect and support each other even if they don't understand each other fully. I think that's a theme woven throughout the story.

Blahhh I feel like there is so much textual support for AuDHD Gojo. Like him being blindsided by Geto's defection because he didn't see Geto's decline (and don't get me started about Autistic!Geto with his strict black-and-white thinking), him just blabbing about sweets when he meets up with Megumi before fighting one-finger Sukuna at the beginning, the fact he thought revealing Yuuji to his classmates at the exchange event would be funny (cause hey, I thought it would too until it happened and I saw oh hey, it wasn't), etc. Plus, his blindfold. His overall personality. Like, it's such a heavy mask. Now I see that.

I feel like people either love Gojo or they hate him. (I immediately gobbled up your analysis and 100% agree. And I think people's reactions to his death are pretty telling.)

So, thank you for the yummy AuDHD!Gojo content. Please feel free to send me more/link me to things. I feel like I have a million more things to say but my brain is jumping all over the place and I've already spent 40 minutes this morning on this when I should have been getting ready for work. Hehe, whoops.

Gojo is AuDHD. I will die on this hill. Let's keep staring and screaming at each other about this. Sending you good vibes and love as well 🤍

#gojo headcanons #audhd gojo #neurodivergent gojo #autistic gojo #adhd gojo

[novamariestark]

I just read your Tallahassee story and omg it was incredible!!!!! Seriously that man hasn’t gotten enough love and you wrote him so perfectly.

If your taking requests for him using your prompt list I’d love #2. Like what you see? and maybe the reader is waiting for him wearing his hat and nothing else or whatever you have in mind for that prompt!

[A/N] This is my first request and I'm very nervous 😅. Thank you. Glad you liked it. I was actually worried that Tallahassee may be out of character despite me watching Zombieland on repeat. For research, of course, not just to stare at Tallahassee 😂

I agree that the internet is lacking Tallahassee content. I always found myself searching for it so I decided to write some myself.

Now this here kinda ended differently than I originally planned and I hope you enjoy it as much as the other one 😀.

Like What You See?

Summary: After 10 years, reader finally gets to wear the cowboy hat. But nothing else 😏

Warnings: possible cringe cause I'm still new to writing smut 😂, PIV, unprotected sex, 🔞, no use of y/n, slight age gap (Tallahassee is 45, reader is 33), slight dom!reader

Words count: 1915

There it was. Just sitting there. That one accessory that he always wore. But in the 10 years you’ve been with him, not once had you worn it. But it was almost always glued to his head. Except now. Now it was just resting on the bed post. Why hadn’t you worn it? You had thought about it, but you never did. But before you knew it, your hand was reaching for it and lowering it onto your head. As you tucked a few stray hairs under the rim, you couldn't help but feel curious about what your loving cowboy would think of you wearing his hat. Does it look as sexy on you as it did on him? A small smirk rested on your face. Why don't you find out?

You bite your lip as you look at yourself in the mirror. Envisioning exactly what you want to do and what you want to happen. Knowing he’d be back soon, you began to strip yourself of your pj’s, which wasn’t that much to begin with. Just one of Tallahassee’s shirts and your thin piece of underwear. Tallahassee didn’t mind that at all.

Now wearing but your man’s hat, you looked at yourself in the mirror again. Years ago, before Tallahassee, you avoided seeing your naked body. You hated it. But Tallahassee had a way of making you feel gorgeous. At first you thought it was because it was slim pickings nowadays and you were the only girl for miles, he could fuck that wouldn’t try to eat him. But he loved you, and even ten years later, he still finds small ways to show just how much he does.

Underneath his sexy, tough exterior was an even sexier, softer man with a heart larger than life. He was someone who didn’t want to get attached because the pain of someone literally being torn from his life was too much. He didn’t want to feel that again. But boy did you fuck up his plan. He couldn't help himself from being pulled towards you by some invisible force.

The softer side of him worshiped you, your body and just everything you. In his eyes you were perfect, you were beautiful. You were his entire world. His other side was reserved for the times you’d purposely torture him at times when he couldn’t do a damn thing to stop you. Your hand exploring him under the dinner table or under a blanket whilst you were watching a movie with the others. You knew exactly what you were doing, and you knew you would receive your “punishment” later on in the confines of your shared bedroom.

Tonight, you were hoping for the latter.

You smiled to yourself when you heard a low whistle. Over your shoulder in the mirror, you could see your boyfriend, standing there, his eyes wide as he took in your naked appearance. His eyes travelled up and down your body, taking in every curve. The way your hips swayed as you moved, your tight stomach, and your full, round breasts had him mesmerized.

"Like what you see, baby?" you asked with a look of innocence swimming in your eyes. His eyes scanned over your body once more before returning to yours. You could feel his gaze burning into your soul like a lighthouse beacon in the dark night sky. His initial shock when he entered the room had dissolved and been replaced by something else. Something animalistic. He slowly stepped towards you, like a predator stalking its prey. His pupils seemed to grow darker as he stepped closer and closer. You could feel the tension between you two as if it were a living, breathing organism.

Now just inches from your body, he couldn't help but run his fingers through your hair and down your arm. His touch was electric, like a current running through your veins. You couldn't help responding with shivers of excitement and anticipation of his next move. He finally let out a small smile and mumbled 'Uh huh' as he reached forward, tracing his finger along your collarbone before it travelled lower, flowing down between your breasts like a river.

Tallahassee closed his eyes and let out a deep groan of pleasure that echoed throughout the room while he imagined you on top of him, riding him like a wild stallion. He envisioned your dark hair tousled and wild in the air as you dug your hands into his shoulders, laughing as you bent down to place a light kiss on his lips.

His hand quickly snaked around your waist and pulled your naked skin against his fully clothed body. A moan fell from your lips as the roughness of his jeans brushed against your exposed core.

“I leave you alone for five minutes,” he whispered in your ear, his lips attached themselves to your neck, gently grazing your skin with his teeth, before tenderly nipping, and sucking at the sensitive flesh. Your body trembled as his fingers travelled down your back with light caresses.

His hands found their way to your ass, giving your cheeks a squeeze before slapping one of them, making you yelp out in surprise. You giggled as you felt him smirk against your neck before biting it, eliciting another moan out of you. But this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Not yet at least.

You take hold of his hands, unwrapping his arms from you and slowly drawing them away. Your eyes never leaving Tallahassee’s. As you run your hands to the hem of his shirt, you feel a current of electricity pass between you. You pull the shirt up and over his head, discarding it on the floor. The passion in his gaze intensifies, making your heart pound. You slide your fingers around the leather belt of his jeans and unbuckle them. You feel your knees tremble as you take a step back to look at him, giving yourself some distance to gather your composure before continuing. You slowly draw the zipper down and feel the warmth of his skin through the denim. You guide the jeans and boxers to his ankles until he stands in front of you, bare and beautiful. His captivating eyes holding your gaze. You take a deep breath as you rise back up from your knees.

You placed your hands on his chest, pushing him backwards until his legs hit the bed. You smirked at him and gave him a push, making him fall backwards on the bed. You had just turned the tables on him. You licked your lips as you took him in. Sprawled on the bed, watching you intently and waiting for your next move. Did you look this sexy like this? No wonder he couldn’t stop fucking you.

You lifted one leg off the floor and swung it over his hips, bringing the other to rest on the other side of his hips. Your wetness kissed his hardening cock as you brought your mouth down to his, your tongues wrestling for dominance. Usually, a battle Tallahassee won, and you let him. But tonight, you wanted to be in control. Tallahassee’s mind was going a hundred miles an hour. Was his vision earlier about to come true? He surrenders, eager to see what you were going to do. You pull away, sitting up, your nails dragging down his chest. Your hands grab his, placing them on your shoulders before sensually moving them down your body. The roughness of his fingertips making your skin tingle. You rock your hips, needing friction against your clit. Tallahassee’s hands rest on your thighs as he watches your face scrunch up with pleasure. You were practically using him to get yourself off and it was as if you put a spell on him because he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Your hips continue moving against his growing member, coating it in your wetness. When you can no longer take your own teasing, you lift yourself up on your knees just enough to slip your hand between your bodies. Your hand clutched around his red, throbbing member and guided it to your awaiting hole. You placed your hands back onto his chest, your nails digging in as you sank down, swallowing him up inside you. Moans and curses fell from both your lips. You allowed yourself a few moments before you started moving your hips up and back down in the most excruciatingly slow pace that you could take.

Tallahassee groaned, as he realised you were going to tease him like he does to you. You were in complete control, and you loved it. You increased your speed as you rode him. The sight of him writhing beneath you was enough to drive you wild. You rocked back and forth, your tits bouncing in sync with every force you exerted upon him.

“Don’t fucking stop, darlin',” he groaned, his hands tightly gripping your waist as you continued your movements. His breath ground to a halt whenever you rolled your hips.

Tal's gaze was transfixed on your face as it twisted in pure bliss. Waves of pleasure rippled through you making you tremble and gasp, “Tal, I'm gonna...” you gasped loudly, no longer caring who heard you.

“I know, darlin',” he said with a satisfied smirk. His grip was strong on your hips as he felt your walls clenching around him, squeezing his cock, ready to milk him for all he’s worth.

You felt the fire rising within you and with one last cry, you felt as if you exploded. Pleasure ripped through you like a sudden surge of electricity. You could tell by his heavy breathing that Tallahassee was close but not quite there, so you tried to continue but despite your best efforts your legs gave way, and you collapsed on top of him.

Tallahassee takes over and with whatever bit of strength he had left, he wraps his arms around you and pulled you close. You moan out loud at the new angle. He drives his cock into you with more force. The sound of wet skin slapping, and moans fill the night air. His hands run swiftly up your back, until they meet your neck, pressing ever so slightly into your skin. His hands then grip tightly around your shoulders and he roughly pushes your body to meet his halfway, your hips crashing together and soon you can sense another orgasm fast approaching as your body began shaking.

The strength, the speed, the angle, was soon too much to bear. Your second orgasm hit you harder than the first, much stronger than the first. That feeling of you coating him with your cream alone pushed him over the edge and he released inside you, completely filling you up.

You took his hat off and reached over to place it back where it was before you curled up beside him, still wrapped in his safe embrace but feeling empty from the sudden loss of him.

“Fuck. Why have we not done that before?” he asked with a laugh.

“You liked it?” you asked, looking up at him shyly. Your confidence from before now gone and insecurity began to settle in your mind.

“I loved it, darlin’,” he replied, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. He bought a finger up to your face, gently moving the stray hairs glued to your forehead, “It looks so much better on you,”

You let out a laugh, “I doubt that,”

#reader insert #female reader #zombieland #tallahassee x reader #tallahassee

[bonetrix-arts]

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY UNDERTALE!!!

I made the first three drawings last year but never finished the set so I didn't post them jhfbeh

Decided to finish em up for this year!!! I wanted to do like an epilogue type thing, drawing everyone still hanging out a few years in the future :3

I imagine Frisk likes to help Asgore take care of his garden.

I also think they're pretty close with Toriel still!!

Papyrus likes sharing funny things he finds on the internet with them, I imagine he would try to be a YouTuber so he probably also shows them his videos XD

Sans is once again short in comparison to them, I think they'd use him as an armrest frequently JHBSDGHV I also thought it'd be cute if maybe one of Snowdin's residents or Grillby's patrons wrote a book with all of Sans' jokes in it hehehe

I like to think that they have anime marathons with Alphys fairly regularly. They strike me as someone who would grow up to be a huge animation nerd (what no I'm not self projecting at all shut up).

I also think that Undyne would wind up as a personal trainer because. COME ON people. It would work so WELL for her!!!

I love this game to pieces, it's crazy to think about how much of an impact it's made on my life. I'm glad I finally got aound to finishing these, I was super happy with this idea n I'm pretty stoked th how it came out!!! Found Family my BELOVED <3<3<3

Anyways erm I wish I didn't feel the need to say this but please please please don't tag this as ship because,,,,yeah. Icky. Just wanna be safe yk.

#evie art #undertale #undertale fanart #undertale anniversary #frisk #asgore dreemurr #toriel dreemurr #papyrus #sans #alphys #undyne #found family #happy anniversary undertale

[thefrogdalorian]

It's New Year's Eve and I just wanted to share some mushy thoughts about life and Mando and Din and how this year has been overall for me!!

If you don't want to read below the cut I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year!! I hope you have a wonderful time, whatever you do to celebrate. I'm currently on a trip so I may not be terribly active, but if you're struggling and the emotions of the day are a little too much, please do message me. I've been there plenty of times. You're not alone. NYE should really be about looking to the future rather than dwelling on the past, but I know how easy it is to get caught up in that depressive loop of thinking.

But if you do want to keep reading, then strap in for some Oversharing Online and gushing about how much Mando means to me:

I first started watching Mando during the pandemic in 2020, I think the first episode released like 2 days after the UK went into lockdown or something. 2020 was an awful year for me, as I'm sure it was for so many of you. A lot of things happened to me that I'm still trying to process but I hope to start therapy in the new year and go some way to addressing it.

Anyway, The Mandalorian came to me at a time I dearly needed it. It was welcome relief from The Horrors I was experiencing. I was hooked pretty much straight away, who was this mysterious man? What were his intentions? Was he good or bad? OH WOW THAT WALK. THAT VOICE!!! I loved it, but it wasn't until The Believer that everything changed for me. It went from enjoyment to full-blown obsession. I couldn't wait until Season 3 aired, and I think the expectations I had built up in my head could never have lived up to the reality of what I felt upon watching it for the first time. I was pretty disappointed most weeks, but I feel so differently now.

This year has been pretty strange for me. I had some amazing highs (like being able to go to Star Wars Celebration where I got to see so many amazing Din and Mandalorian cosplays which was an INSANE experience and I still kind of haven't properly processed yet??) and also some difficult lows.

In June I finally got my autism diagnosis, something I'd been essentially waiting for for EIGHT YEARS. It was a huge shock but also not shocking at all. As in, I knew I was autistic since being a teenager but I was absolutely not expecting to be told right there and then at my assessment. So when the psychologist looked me in the eye and told me that I was autistic it was somewhat of a gut punch. Processing it was extremely difficult but during that time I found myself drawn back to Mando and particularly to season 3. I rewatched it again and again fell in love with a season that I'd probably felt on the whole underwhelmed with at the time, until the last two episodes, which I loved instantly.

When rewatching it, I noticed things that I'd missed before, which led me to become kind of obsessed with the idea of Din and Bo together. I know not everyone enjoys that but that truly is what I love about media, that we can all watch a similar thing and interpret it differently! I don't think I'm any more correct about the way I view certain interactions than anyone else. Shipping should just be a little fun, not ruin your mental health or dictate how you treat strangers on the internet. And it especially should not lead to any real world harassment of creators and actors.

So in September an idea formed and between then and November a 182,000 word fic landed in my lap. That's the best way I can describe writing it for me, I was so fixated on finishing it and the plot just kept coming the more I wrote. It is by FAR the longest thing I've ever written and probably ever will write, but the routine of writing it and publishing it helped claw me out of a spiral I was in after my diagnosis.

And it was publishing it on AO3 that gave me the confidence to rejoin a fandom space again. It was a big step for me to put myself out there but I'm so glad that I did because that's what led me here, to discover this wonderful community who adore Din and The Mandalorian just as much as I do. I'm so happy that I finally found my way here. It was way less intimidating than I ever thought it would be!

I know that I haven't been here for the longest time, I wish I just got over my nervousness and made a tumblr earlier in the year so I could have joined in with the hype before season 3. But also considering how poorly received the season was overall, maybe it was for the best that I wasn't here.

Despite my relative newness here, I just wanted to say how welcomed I've felt and that is a truly lovely feeling. Thank you so much to everyone who has interacted with any of my posts and especially my writing in any way, big or small. It means a lot to me! I cannot wait to be around for all the buildup to Season 4, honestly. I know it seems so far but after midnight we can say it's (probably) only NEXT YEAR!

I have no idea what 2024 has in store for me. That doesn't scare me, in fact I'm quite excited about not knowing what will happen. I

Of course, I have some goals I'd like to achieve for myself but whatever happens, I know that Mando will be there to endlessly rewatch and whatever comes my way, I'll always have Din Djarin. He's the only man to ever exist! That gorgeous tin can who instantly soothes me every time I get to watch his silly little exploits with his silly little son. Where would we be without him, eh?

Anyway, whatever you're doing tonight to celebrate and even if you aren't, I wish you all the best. Stay safe, enjoy yourself and I'm sending you lots of love and light for the year. May 2024 be a healthy, happy prosperous year for you and your loved ones.

See you in 2024!

Love,

Spud 🥔🐸

#text post #a little oversharing on the internet as a treat #actually autistic #i basically just love din and all of you here THANKS for welcoming me to a space where i can just rant a lot and you all support me djdjdj #just autism things #i wrote this before i went away lol #but i still feel every word!! #almost midnight for me 🥺🥺🥺

[ifidiedinadream]

babies of the band you say? well, good sex is nice right, and it only gets better the more you do it with the same person, so why wouldn't the two of them decide that hey, we might both be straight or so we think, but hooking up with someone always there on tour seems like a great way to relax right? do the others know? do they walk in on them and wonder when the hell these two turned gay and dating? do they think they're being secretive but really, constantly sneaking off together for a quick bj in some supply closet or behind a corner isn't all that subtle? does one of them high on concert endorphines bring up wanting to try anal sex/penetration and they both end up learning a lot about their bodies that night? i'll leave it up to you!

hellooooooo i wrote something funny please tell me it's funny

also on ao3

"Sorry for earlier," Aleksi blurts out. The curtains of their shared hotel room are closed and it's night. They should be sleeping, the day has been exhausting enough for them to doze off immediately and sleep like babies until tomorrow morning, but they're scrolling their phones in the dim light of their bedside tables instead. Olli just couldn't relax. 

"It's fine, you were irritable, I understand that." 

Olli does understand, but it still hurts a bit. Aleksi hardly ever loses his patience, and he never snapped at him before. Olli was expecting a reprimand from Joel or Niko if there had to be one, certainly not from Aleksi. 

He guesses getting lost in a Swiss train station when their train was supposed to depart fifteen minutes later was too much bullshit even for calm, seraphic Aleksi. 

(Especially when their flight had been canceled, they had to wait for hours at the airport with no certainty they would be able to leave at all, and when they finally managed to land in Switzerland, Aleksi found most of his gear broken and part of it missing. All in the same day.)

"I deserved that," Olli adds later. 

"No, you didn't. I was an asshole." 

Olli will never forget his clenched teeth and hard eyes, the way he spat out "Are you for real? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" when they finally reunited. Olli had been panicking himself, because what the hell was he supposed to do in a foreign country that wasn't part of the EU therefore provided no internet connection nor signal to lost Finnish boys like him, but he didn't tell the others. He was relieved upon finding them, very much so, but Aleksi's hostility made him feel like shit not even a second later. They didn't exchange a word all day until now and it felt so wrong. 

It never happened before. Olli would say Aleksi and he are good friends, Aleksi is probably his favorite guy in the band and they get along very well most of the time. He's his best buddy, even. 

He's glad they seem to be normal again. 

"This tour has been stressful," Aleksi says, putting his phone on the nightstand to charge and rolling on his side, giving his back to Olli. They're sharing a double bed. "It really is no excuse for how I behaved but... I really need some release." 

"You could've gone out with the others," Olli remarks, but he knows Aleksi doesn't unwind like that. Aleksi's back expands and shrinks back down, like he just took a deep breath. 

"Clubbing won't do. I need something..." he trails off. He rolls in the bed again, turning to Olli. "Something more physical." 

Olli snorts and puts his phone away. "You can lock yourself in the bathroom, dude. I'm not gonna judge, nor interrupt." 

Aleksi grunts. "I become grumpy and obnoxious when I don't have sex for a while." 

"I think any person with balls can relate." 

Aleksi stares at the ceiling, seeming to consider it. "Maybe I should've gone to the club after all. I could've found a girl to hook up with." 

Olli can't help but imagine the scene. He thinks of Aleksi getting on top of a woman and pounding his hips into her. His stomach flips because apparently he's a perv like that. A sigh from Aleksi's lips pulls him out of his daydreams. 

"How I wish I had someone I could hook up with. I don't mean a one night stand." 

"'Cause sex is nice, but it gets even better when it's always with the same person, right?" 

"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I do hook up with strangers when I'm at home sometimes," Aleksi confesses, "because I need the sex, and my hand isn't always enough, but at home I don't need it as much as I do when I'm on tour. It's stressful on tour. But at the same time, is finding a different girl every other night worth the hassle? When at the end of the day she doesn't know me, I don't know her, I come because of course I do but maybe she doesn't because I don't know where to touch her, I don't know her body, she doesn't know mine, it doesn't feel as good as it could, you know. When you know a person, it's one hundred times better." 

"Yeah," Olli agrees, "it would be nice to have someone to hook up with. Always the same person." 

"Yeah." 

"Yeah." 

"Too bad there's no one." 

"Yeah. Too bad." 

Olli reaches his arm out to turn off his bedside lamp, assuming the conversation is over. When he makes to lie down again, he finds Aleksi hovering over him, blue eyes huge and bright even in the dark. Olli gasps. 

"You didn't get what I was trying to say, did you?" 

"I - what were you trying to say?" 

"We could hook up. You and I." 

Olli's hand, still on the light switch, turns on the lamp again. Aleksi is looking down at him with expectant eyes and Olli doesn't miss the vague desperation dwelling in them as well. 

"But dude," he says, "I'm not a girl. You're not a girl." 

"I'm aware." Aleksi pushes the blanket off of him, sitting up. He takes his t-shirt off. "Who gives a shit. It doesn't have to mean we're gay." 

"So if I, a man, hook up with you, also a man," Olli looks at his hands, counting on his fingers, "it won't... it won't make us gay?" 

"Nah," Aleksi says, "it's only gay if we catch feelings for each other. Which can't happen, 'cause we're not gay." 

Olli must admit Aleksi's argument doesn't convince him in the slightest, he's pretty sure it's not how it works, but Aleksi's hairy chest is right there in front him, there's a bulge in his pajama pants, and suddenly he doesn't give a shit about labels anymore. 

"Alright," Olli says. "Let's hook up, then." 

*** 

Despite them not being gay in the slightest, it becomes a habit quite easily, naturally even. Olli and Aleksi hook up backstage before the shows, in the showers after the shows, in the bus when the others are exploring the cities, in the hotel rooms the others always let them share for some reason (Olli is sure no one suspects anything, they're being very subtle and sneaky about it, they're good at that. They've always been attached at the hip anyway, so why would anyone notice a difference now?). 

One night they're both in Olli's bunk in the bus, Olli's cock is in Aleksi's mouth, his hands in his hair. And Olli's being silent. The others are asleep. Aleksi's slurping sounds are quiet, and so are the heavy breaths he takes when he resurfaces for air. 

It gets a bit harder to not make a sound when Aleksi swirls his tongue around the rim of the head of Olli's cock, focusing on a particular spot on the underside, one that drives him crazy, so he puts his own fist in his mouth. Aleksi looks up at him with mischievous eyes, cheeks hollowed out, and when he pulls away he's smiling smugly. 

"Stop teasing or I'll tell everyone you're into sucking dick."

"Shut up or I'll tell everyone you're the one whose dick I usually suck." 

Aleksi wraps his lips around him then, relaxing his throat so that he can take all of him in. Olli sends his head back and it hits the wall behind him. It hurts but he's pretty sure it didn't wake anyone up. 

*** 

Another time would be when after a show that went particularly well, in the heat of the moment, Aleksi grabs Olli by his shirt and pulls him into the nearest secluded space, which happens to be nothing more than a small storage closet. The others arrive when the closet door is closed, missing them by mere instants. The door isn't even closed, to be fair, it doesn't lock and the way Aleksi is thrusting his cock in between Olli's thighs makes it move and open slightly. No one is watching, no one is listening, Olli tells himself. It feels so good, Aleksi's dick soft to the touch yet so hard, his breath on his neck from behind, his hand wrapped around Olli's own cock - he doesn't want to stop and worry. 

And why should he worry, anyway. It's not like they're being loud. It's not like Joonas and Joel aren't yelling and filling up cups with booze. It's fine. 

What probably isn't fine is how much Olli is getting into this. Their habit soon turned into some sort of tradition, where Olli is having sex more than ever before in his life, even multiple times a day, and he's never felt better. Aleksi said it's not gay until they catch feelings, and sure, there are no feelings to be caught, they're best bros, but the idea that all this will stop once the tour is over makes Olli sick to his stomach. 

But Olli doesn't have to think about it now. Tour is far from over. Aleksi's amazing dick is between his thighs where his pants and underwear were pushed off just enough to allow Aleksi this movement, and the urgency feels nice, too nice, desperate Aleksi must be Olli's favorite brand of Aleksi. 

He's going fast and muffling his moaning by pressing his mouth on the top of Olli's shoulder. Olli comes all over Aleksi's fist, biting his lip hard, and Aleksi follows soon after, tightening the grip on Olli's hip. They stay in the closet until they're sure the others are too drunk to notice. They giggle and tell each other to stay quiet, making more noise in the process, and maybe they kiss, even make out (just to pass the time, obviously, no other reason), the urgency from before nowhere to be found. Olli doesn't find it in himself to care. It feels good; Aleksi's mouth is so warm and gentle and his hands on Olli's face are delicate and his eyes always turn so soft after sex, when he's finally satisfied. That specific gaze sort of brings butterflies to Olli's stomach, and today, when they part, it's not any different. It's only a moment, though; soon mischief is animating Aleksi's eyes again and he reaches out to grab Olli's balls, just a bit too tightly for it to feel nice. Olli says "ouch" and Aleksi giggles again, kicking the door open and storming out of it. 

"What was that for?" Olli asks, fixing his pants before following him. 

"For pinching my ass during the show." 

They don't look suspicious, Olli thinks. The others wouldn't be able to notice anything with how much they've been drinking. 

*** 

Tour goes on and the habit-turned-tradition turns into obsession, at least on Olli's side. It's science, Olli tells himself. The more endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin his body produces, the more it wants them. It's chemistry, really. He doesn't like Aleksi and he isn't gay, he's just getting his body addicted to the feeling. 

Which isn't a problem, he'll get over it after a week or so of detox when the tour ends. 

(Something Olli doesn't really want to think about, the tour ending.) 

Now he's lying in the bed of his hotel room just like that first time, and something is bothering him, but this once it has nothing to do with Aleksi being mad at him. 

"Can I ask you something?" Olli inquires, the kisses Aleksi is leaving on his neck doing little to clear his mind. Aleksi hums. "Do you think it's gay if we have, like, anal sex?" 

Aleksi stops kissing his skin, pulling away slightly to look at him. His gaze is heavy lidded. He looks into Olli's eyes, then at his lips, and that's when he says, "Nah. Why should it be?" 

"Because it would be. Two men having sex." 

Aleksi has started kissing Olli's neck again, this time it's slower though, wetter. "It's two men having sex when you're sucking my dick behind a gas station, when I'm giving you a handjob in the lounge area of the bus when the others are watching hockey on TV." Aleksi's lips move downward, caressing Olli's collarbone, and then he's biting there, making Olli yelp. "It's two men having sex when we grind against each other first thing in the morning, still in bed, when Tommi knocks on our door and tells us to get ready for breakfast." Aleksi's hand fondles Olli's cock through his pants. "All of this is two men having sex. And it feels good, doesn't it? It feels right." 

"Yes," Olli breathes out, because what else can he say when Aleksi is stroking his dick like that. 

"Remember this: we're good as long as we don't catch feelings for each other." 

"Right." 

Right.  

"We can try anal sex if you want," Aleksi says. "We have condoms and lube. Did you want to be on top or -" 

"I actually wanted to try bottoming," Olli says, cutting himself off before he can add because I want to have you inside me on a whole new level as he suspects it could sound, indeed, a bit gay. 

This isn't catching feelings. 

"Alright." Aleksi flashes him a reassuring smile. "I'll be gentle." 

"How do I - have you done this before?" Olli asks. 

"A couple of times, yeah. With women, of course." 

"Of course." 

"Lie down." 

Olli does. Aleksi takes his pajamas off slowly and then undresses himself. He grabs Olli's knees and parts his legs gently, lowering his face and kissing his inner thigh once. He tells Olli to raise his legs and keep them folded. 

"Like this?" Olli asks, feeling a little exposed but Aleksi is eyeing him tenderly. 

"Yes, perfect," Aleksi says. "I'm gonna touch you a bit... getting you used to the sensation. Okay?" 

Olli nods. Aleksi's fingers end up in between his cheeks, brushing lightly, then up his perineum, making Olli shiver. Aleksi pours lube on his hole directly from the bottle and it's cold, but Aleksi assures him the lube has to be copious. 

"Tell me if you need more, alright?" Aleksi says, and Olli nods once again. 

Aleksi's fingers are gentle. He describes what he's doing to Olli, making sure he's okay. When a finger is inside it isn't necessarily comfortable, but Aleksi's patient and soft gaze makes Olli relax easily and his body gives in. Aleksi prepares him for a while longer, and when Olli says he's ready, Aleksi withdraws his hand and ends up on top of him, kissing him slowly before smearing his cock in lube. 

Their bodies are flush and it's so slick where Aleksi's cock and his ass touch. Olli wraps his arms and legs around Aleksi because he loves the feeling of having Aleksi everywhere, of his scent permeating the air all around him; he loves how sweet Aleksi is tonight, his considerate questions and kind eyes. 

He won't tell him that, of course, because that would be gay, and we all agree that neither of them is gay, so Olli just hugs Aleksi silently as the latter gently penetrates him, not before asking if it's okay a million times, not before reminding Olli he can tap out if he needs to, he can add more lube, he can stretch him more, he'll do whatever Olli needs him to. 

They have slow sex. It's uncomfortable before it feels even remotely pleasurable, but Aleksi's tender care makes it all worth it. He moves so slowly Olli can feel every centimeter of him inside himself, and the way Aleksi is looking at his face, attentive and careful, makes Olli feel all fuzzy in the chest. However, it's when Aleksi tells him he feels so good that Olli lets out a moan, which seems to invigorate Aleksi, making him move a bit faster. Olli doesn't mind, he's totally relaxed now, and when Aleksi lifts his hips a bit and the angle changes, Olli feels a kind of pleasure he's never felt in his life before. 

"Found it?" Aleksi asks, amused. 

Olli moans louder, holding Aleksi closer to him. It's heaven. Heaven. His body has never felt better, his heart is warm and large and full, his head is above the clouds, and Olli comes untouched for the first time ever. 

"Good boy," Aleksi says, and when he finally comes as well, Olli wishes he wasn't wearing a condom so he could feel all the cum inside him, claiming his body like it's his right. 

But it's not because he's catching feelings. It's just that the sex is particularly good. 

They're best bros. Fuck buddies at best. 

*** 

The habit-turned-tradition-turned-obsession somehow ends up turning into something else by the end of the tour. Olli doesn't exactly know what, but he knows it's bothering him. If he couldn't stay a day without having sex with Aleksi before, now he finds himself fighting for his attention, hating it when he spends time with someone else (like when he went shopping with Joel on their day off) and feeling like the king of the universe when Aleksi rests his head on his shoulder (like that day they were late to the venue because the bus was stuck in traffic). 

It's bothering him because deep down, despite him not being gay, despite Aleksi being his best bro, Olli knows he caught feelings somewhere along the way. He tells himself it isn't the case, that he doesn't like Aleksi like that, he only likes the attention, the sex, having someone to occupy his mind, but lying to himself can only get him so far, and it won't spare him all the hurt that will inevitably come. 

Because to Aleksi it's only sex, he made it clear right from the start. 

It gets even heavier on the last day of tour. They're getting back to Finland tomorrow and the fact that Aleksi will be in Helsinki and Olli in Oulu, how they won't have any excuse to sleep together anymore, how Aleksi will probably go on with his life like nothing ever happened tears up Olli's heart. 

It wasn't supposed to come to this. Fuck.  

That's why he agrees to go to Joel's acquaintance's party (a friend of a friend of a dude who works at a radio station), to try and drown his sorrows in alcohol before the hole in his chest gets too big and sucks too much of his life away. Aleksi will be there too, everyone will, but staying behind on the bus and crying his eyes out in his bunk bed is most likely the more pathetic option and Olli doesn't need that. 

At the party, Olli drinks and drinks and drinks. He's Mr. Recovery Man so he'll be just fine for the flight tomorrow. There are a lot of beautiful women trying to start a conversation with "the Finnish bassist who looks like a model", as Olli overheard one of them say, but sex is the last thing on Olli's mind right now. All he wants is to hold Aleksi's hand for one last time before they have to part. 

Before he has to tell him he fucked everything up by catching feelings and evidently not being as straight as he thought he was. 

Olli drinks again. His mood gets better the more he drinks, his head and heart lighter, to the point, some time later, where he's actually having fun and dancing to the beat pumping through the speakers and talking to people; however, it's short lived. He keeps drinking until a line is crossed and his stomach starts to hurt. Olli finds a bathroom before it's too late, throws up his entire soul, and by the time he's done, he can barely stand. 

Joonas finds him in the bathroom, holding on to the sink. His friend washes his mouth and takes him to the couch in the living room, asking him if he wants to go back to the bus with him and call it a night. Olli refuses. 

(He doesn't want the night to end, because that would mean the tour has ended, and so has whatever he and Aleksi had.) 

Joonas leaves, not without mumbling something about someone being a lovesick idiot. Olli considers the beer bottle sitting on the coffee table before him, but decides against it. He fights sleep but allows his eyes to close, focusing on the music resonating in his chest. He tries to figure out the notes of the bass he's hearing. It's a pretty basic bass line. 

Someone sits down beside him. Olli opens his eyes and it's a blurry, blurry Aleksi, with wild hair and sweat all over his face. Olli's senses come back to him at once, suddenly alert. Aleksi doesn't look much more sober than he is. 

"Kiss," Aleksi says, moving closer, but Olli pushes him away. 

"In front of everyone?" 

"They know." 

"They don't." 

"Literally everyone in the band knows. Niko just called me a pining mess," Aleksi slurs. Olli furrows his brows because it reminds him of something. "I just want one last kiss before you tell me to fuck off forever." 

"You're drunk." 

"So are you." 

Aleksi tries to kiss him once again but Olli moves away. It hurts. It hurts like hell, but another kiss would only hurt more. "We can't do this. Aleksi, this was a mistake. We said we wouldn't catch feelings. But I have." 

Aleksi suddenly turns serious. He looks at Olli's face for a moment, like he's searching for something there. His face is still blurry but he's as gorgeous as always, even with the two little expression lines in between his eyebrows. His gaze drops as soon as he starts speaking. 

"So have I. I fell in love with you. Sorry I can't say it sober." 

"You - what?" 

Aleksi's face crumbles after an intense moment. He starts to laugh loudly and for a second Olli thinks this was all a cruel, heartless prank. 

"Dude, we're so fucking gay," Aleksi says. "Don't know about you but I told myself so many lies during the last few months. Ever since we started hooking up. But I wasn't fooling anyone. Dude, I like you so fucking much. Always have." 

Olli feels like he could cry; he hugs Aleksi tight instead, kissing him on the mouth when they part and not giving two shits about it. 

"We should... probably talk about this when we're both sober. In the morning," Olli suggests. 

"Can you - can you just say it out loud? Again? Just one last time... Or tomorrow I won't think it's real," Aleksi says, looking small somehow. It makes Olli smile fondly. 

"What, that I like you back?" 

"Yeah." 

Olli cups the side of Aleksi's face, looking deep into his eyes, so blurry yet so beautiful. 

"You're all I ever wanted."

#my writing #blind channel fanfiction #blind channel fanfic #rpf #blind channel rpf #aleksi kaunisvesi x olli matela

[simplyclary]

You Made My Life Immensely Better

(Edit by yours truly)

[To be completely honest and somewhat candid, this is just a product of me thinking how the heck am I gonna beat the sentiments I wrote in the Thanksgiving letter and not sound repetitive]

To my dearest TZP Squad,

Here's a letter...

As 2023 draws to a close, I find myself thinking about this rollercoaster of a journey we've shared over the few months that I've been in this beautiful fandom. To each and every one of you who has become a part of my year, I want to express my deepest gratitude.

This year, especially the last 4-5 months, has been a wild ride with ups and downs in between, and in those moments, you have given me warmth, laughter, and a profound sense of connection. From shared smiles to small but lovely interactions, you have brightened the latter part of my year with your presence.

To quote our dearest Alex Claremont-Diaz: "You have made my life immeasurably better".

My dearest TZP Squad, thank you for being the the source of my smile during both the sunny days and stormy nights. Like I said before, if Taylor is the sunshine, you guys are the solar energy. You simply further ignite the positive energy that Taylor gives and I love you all for that.

To those who let me speak my unfiltered thoughts, big or small, know that your support has warmed my heart and your short and sweet replies have made it more meaningful. I am grateful for the shared joy in our collective achievements as a fandom, and what we've achieved this year (a.k.a Taylor seeing the birthday project) is only just the beginning of a beautiful fandom journey.

For the moments of solace and comfort and the unspoken reassurances, thank you. Your empathy and virtual love always melts my heart, and I'll always cherish the sanctuary of this little positive corner on the messy world of the internet.

To the people that I've been interacting with recently and since I joined this lovely fandom family (Josie, Nae, Kay, Lee, Bia, Kate, the admins behind my dearest @/InfoTZP and @/tzpsquads Mari and May), thank you for the meaningful insights, the unexpected laughter, and the undying support and love. You've added yourselves to the fandom chapters of my life story and I am forever thankful for each of you. I may not see your faces, but know that I see you and I appreciate you and everything that you do for the fandom, whether that is organizing projects or providing updates. It's the little things and gestures that matter the most.

Special mentions to @/InfoTZP and @/tzpsquads for sending me DMs after I sent out that Thanksgiving letter last month. Those DMs will forever hold a special place in my heart.

As a new year approaches, I'll carry forward the memories that I've created with you. May we continue to laugh and smile despite the troubles that came our way and will probably continue to come our way.

In a world that can feel chaotic and uncertain, your presence has been and will continue to be a constant source of light and love. December has been a mix of the light and the dark, but I'm glad that we stuck together and united against the dark forces. To quote one of my favorite literary characters (who shares the same name as me), Clary Fairchild: Alone, we're strong. Together, we're unstoppable.

Here's to the moments we've shared, the memories we've created, and the bonds that have made the latter part of this year truly unforgettable.

My dears, all I can really say is thank you! In the many years that I have been in multiple fandoms, I have never been in such a beautiful fandom like this. This is probably the one fandom that I'll forever treasure until time ends. I am lucky to have you (as virtual friends) and for sure, Taylor is lucky to have you who is always there to love, support, cherish and defend him.

Let's continue to share and express the mutual love we have for TZP, whether that be by simply appreciating how good he looks or thirsting over him on a feral level (oh yeah, I see TZP thirst posts daily), let's just continue to do it because it's one of my most favorite things about this little fandom family of ours.

The fandom is just as special as Taylor and I’m excited to spend the future loving and supporting him with you guys. The TZP squad is one of the best fandoms with the sweetest people and I’m just having a pleasant ride with you. I’m here for the long run and I promise to stand by Taylor and you guys until time tells me that it is already time to stop.

Wishing you all a new year filled with love, laughter, and the continued warmth of cherished connections.

I'll (virtually) see you at the fashion weeks, movie premieres and magazine photoshoots in 2024 ;)

All my love,

Clarissa

#taylor zakhar perez #rwrb #red white and royal blue #new year #wrap up

[k4tisblog]

08 MEDIA DIARY: Dan & Phil & Privacy

HELLO INTERNET!!!!!!!! If you didn't know me in 2012-2017, you might not know about my little fixation on these two British men on YouTube. Meet Dan Howell and Phil Lester. They started out as teenagers making silly videos in their bedrooms. Dan inspired by and a fan of Phil, made his own content and - come 2009, ended up meeting Phil.

(Moral of the story: Parasocial relationships work! Sometimes!)

Chaos ensues, they bond for life.

Now you can never really think of one without the other.

Without getting too much into it, yes. You know the internet. There was HEAVY speculation on their relationship and sexuality. I never got into it myself, but it was a huge part of the "phan"dom in the early days. Inescapable. Them openly denying that they were gay while their fanbase wrote insane erotic fanfiction (think: hamsters, peeling of skin), made "evidence" edits, and leaked footage from their private lives - It was a wild ride, and dare I say invasive at times. They did come out as queer at the end of June 2019! In Dan's 45-minute-long video titled "Basically I'm Gay", we get to know a lot of his personal battle with his sexuality, yet while still barely scratching the surface of it all.

"Obviously we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic. This is someone that genuinely liked me. I trusted them. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe. And the relationship we formed at that point was something that I needed in my life. We are real best friends, companions through life, like actual soulmates." is what Dan says about Phil, choosing not to elaborate further. He sets a boundary with his audience, stating that he wants to keep his personal life private (and so does Phil).

I respect that dearly, and I am glad that the fanbase has matured a bit more over the years to abide by that boundary (at least from what I've gathered. I hope... Looking up their names seems to say otherwise). Learning what to keep private and what to turn into content is a fascinating practice. Especially when you're a celebrity whose entire brand revolves around your person, stories, and hijinks. There will always be people who you can't control - those who view you as a commodity, a story to unpack and watch unfold. I feel like none of us are built to be seen by this many people at once. On a personal account, everytime I've encountered a brush of virality I go a bit cuckoo and I find myself withdrawing into a shell. It really does take a certain strength/dissociation to be perceived by so many.

Anyways, they uploaded a video on their shared gaming channel recently! "A Fan Perfectly Recreated Our House in Roblox". Self-explanatory, and also not clickbait! It was fun seeing their old apartment perfectly recreated as they occasionally showed clips of videos, reminiscing about their old content.

...Pretty jarring to see their real street views outside their windows, though! (O_o) ( 8:38 ) A bit funny, but also not funny at all. I giggled, had a bit of a haha hehe, but I also worried. There are definitely people out there who stalk creators by going to places they frequent, or even their own homes just from clues online.

Everyone is a content creator to some extent, so we need to be mindful! Digital footprint, guys! Moral of the story is shut your blinds and throw away your phones and delete yourself off the face of the internet and change your name and live off the grid and. I'm kidding... I also wrote this at 1.25am and am unsure how to end it. GOODNIGHT INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Goodnight Chris.

#youtube #dan and phil #word vomit #blog post #media diary #digital diary

[faeriekit]

Hi, the guy who asked about the AI writing stuff again. Thank you for the response. I mostly just asked you because you wouldn't give me an answer biased towards trying to make me feel better, even if I also didn't feel quite right about using AI. I feel if I had asked anybody I actually knew, rather than a stranger they would have had some bias in there answer. I really like the way you worded it, writing really is a communal activity and it does feel wrong to try and disconnect that. Thank you.

Ah, yeah, that there's a good reason to ask an internet stranger. I'm glad that my answer makes sense; before ai was, like, a thing, there wasn't really a need to think of writing as a communal activity, because it just...was. That was the only option. Someone wrote something, and people read it, and they discussed it. There wasn't any factor that could possibly take people out of that equation. Trying to explain that now when people are so eager for cop-outs and shortcuts on stuff that's either 1) graded or 2) meant to be a fun hobby anyway... It feels like trying to explain how water is wet? What do you mean you've never interacted with water before?? It just...makes stuff wet by virtue of being water?? Writing is a shared experience?? The end goal isn't necessarily the piece? Well, it is, but there's more to it...?!

Thank you for asking, even if I was suspicious (since my one ai post is blowing up with...opinions.) Also sorry I didn't get back to you sooner; I had to tackle a bunch of baby spit at work.

#faer nonsense #thanks for asking! #ai

[kndrules]

in your take/au/adulthood shenanigans for Sector V, if they (like one of the couples or whatever) were to ever have kids, what would they be like?

ofc i stress "if" as by all means am only curious, doesn't have to be "canon" n whatnot lol

I AM SOOOOOO GLAD YOU ASKED...get ready for a long answer

Please note that all of these headcanons are cowritten by @sector-v and some of the kid OCs are his. I'll say which ones.

Let's start with Wally and Kuki

They foster kids, so a lot of kids have lived with them over the years, but three kids ended up sticking around. The two younger kids were adopted by them, and the older kid came into their home as an older teenager, so she just spent the rest of her childhood years with them.

Here they are:

Kat and Dirt Bug are in Sector V. I think Dirt's pronouns should be they/them instead maybe...I'm still developing these three, they're the newest of my kid OCs by several years. Dirt's name is like that because Wally let them name themself.

Kat- VERY energetic and impulsive. She's a bit sensitive, full of love and wonder, and prone to getting herself into trouble. She's very protective of her friends and siblings. She's also very into sports.

Dirt- Very curious and has absolutely no sense of danger. Also energetic, but mostly follows Kat around. Both Kat and Dirt LOVE bugs and collecting them. Dirt plays by their own rules, which they never share out loud. They somewhat live in their own reality, a lot like Kuki does.

Xue- She was in the foster system her whole life, so she's understandably standoffish around new people, including her new family. Her best friends are all internet friends. Wally and Kuki are trying to encourage her to get out more. I need to figure out more about her still.

Now for the Hoagie/Abby kids

I will admit my bias- Naomi is my favorite of all of them. Garth is @sector-v 's OC. Garth is short for Hogarth, making him Hogarth the Third!

(These drawings are from before I redesigned adult Hoagie)

Naomi is the leader of Sector V. Garth will join the KND too, but they won't be in Sector V at the same time, because of their age difference.

Naomi- Takes after both her parents to an alarming degree, but she has more energy than both of them put together. She loves inventing and engineering and is a huge extrovert. She's a natural leader who sometimes has a tendancy to be controlling. Her parents support anything she wants to do, so she's a very well-rounded kid with infinite resources. She's brilliant both academically and socially- and is a huge nerd...though she hates to be called one.

When she gets older, she's probably gonna start going by she/they

Garth- I don't know much about him yet, but he's definitely a typical younger brother in many ways.

Now...Lizzie and Nigel

They're a mixed family. Lizzie was married before she started talking to Nigel again, and she has one son from that previous marriage. His name is Joshua and he's @sector-v 's OC. Nigel becomes the Step Dad, but he hates being seen as the "parent" (he's got baggage about that). Lizzie and Nigel later have a child of their own, Monty Jr, who is also @sector-v 's OC. Actually this entire paragraph- pretend @sector-v wrote it, because these are all his ideas.

Joshua eventually joins Sector V, but was hesitant to at first.

Joshua- He and Naomi are inseparable best friends. Naomi got him to come out of his shell and pushed him to be more adventerous. Being raised by Lizzie, he's kind of meek and studious. He's a very well behaved kid, and Nigel doesn't know what to do with that.

Monty- I dunno he's a baby!

I could say more, but I think that's plenty! I have so many story ideas planned that feature them, but I have no idea if I'll ever draw them.

#my art #hahaha...thank u for asking this

[chthonic-cassandra]

I’ve been considering writing fanfiction again after 5 years, but I’m quite nervous. Reading your Compromise series inspired me to get back into writing, but I’m worried about how the fans will react to the subject matter of abuse and complicated feelings in the gray zone between romantic and familial. How do you deal with the anxiety of people misinterpreting your writing?

First, I wanted to say how moved I am that reading something I wrote inspired you to return to writing! That touches me very deeply and I so appreciate you sharing it with me.

This is a good question, and I don't have an easy answer to it, but I do have some thoughts. I do want to distinguish between misinterpretation which is just readers having a different experience of a story than the one we've intended, and actual hurtful and judgmental responses - I think you're most talking about the latter, but I'm not sure.

As far as hurtful responses, I've honestly been pretty lucky with that, at least in comparison with a lot of other people I know here/in fandom. Part of it is that I do deliberately keep a pretty low profile in a number of ways - I write quietly in my tiny fandoms - and I take steps to insulate myself from judgmental responses, like not allowing anonymous asks. I've made a decision in the past several years to just straight up not engage in internet debate, and this has served me well. These choices aren't right for everyone, but the risk/reward calculation of them is very definitely right for me. (I was a little worried that the increased popularity of Dracula in the past year would make all of this harder, but insofar as drama has happened there I think I've stayed largely oblivious to it or at least out of the way.)

But that doesn't mean those kinds of responses never happen, or that I never have anxiety about them, with the kinds of things I write. What's helped is honestly getting to a place with myself where I can hold a lot of confidence in my own understanding of trauma and abuse, both generally and in my own life, that cannot fundamentally be shaken by others' responses. So someone commenting on one of my stories that I'm writing Mina as "weak" and "allowing herself to be defined by her assault" (real example, albeit from a while ago) can make me angry, but it doesn't make me spiral or question how I understand myself. (I can't say how I would hold up to really persistently cruel harassment like I know others have had to deal with, and I count myself as lucky that I haven't encountered that so far in my fandom experience.)

I know what I believe, and I know how I choose to ethically engage in the world, and people can think that my fic is weird or gross if they want and that doesn't change what I know to be true. It feels really good in a lot of ways to put my stories out in the world and to hear that people are impacted by them, and a big part of that does have to do with finding ways of communicating aspects of my own experience, but I also can't expect readers of my fic to give me that validation; I have to get it elsewhere.

As far as general misinterpretation without hurtful responses...I don't know, I think I just have to be okay with it, and at this point I don't consider there to be a correct interpretation of my fics really at all. I do (often) write about kinds of violence that come close to things I've experienced, but it's also really okay with me if people read those stories and their primary take away is finding them sexy. There are also ways in which I find those elements of my own experience sexy! (And horrific and terrifying and devastating and and and...) That's part of what I'm doing by writing about them, letting myself feel out all these edges and angles and sites of messiness. That's one of the reason to write hundreds of thousands of words of fic largely about sexual violence rather than writing a memoir.

With Compromise in particular, which you mentioned here (I'm glad you're enjoying it!), part of what has been so interesting for me about trying this slow, serialized format for a story about tangled webs of violence and attachment is seeing the range of different ways people react to it, the people who are angry at Jonathan and the people whose hearts are breaking for him, the people who are hoping for Jonathan and Mina to come back together and fight back and the people who have become most invested in the brides and their arc. I'm sure that there are people who find the whole premise distasteful and I hope they simply don't read it rather than telling me so, but alongside that there's this particular energy and interest in the expansive range of possible interpretation, and if you do choose to write and post fic again I hope that's something that you can enjoy.

This is a long-winded answer that maybe didn't get at your question! But your question made me think a lot - thank you for that.

#riverwife #on writing #my writing #trauma frameworks #compromise series

[ratstuckinamarble]

<3 <3 <3

right, third time's the charm- You are someone I am very glad to have 'met' in whatever way the internet lets us.

Not because you're the first person I've ever exchanged drawings with like they were notes passed along on a rainy day, making silly little stories out of woodpeckers and lego toadstoods and trick or treat wishes- Not because I have those drawings printed out, woodpecker and otter hanging on my wall, the halloween ones added to my old lebkuchen box of decorations to be tacked up next year with all the rest- Not because the memory of looking at your art had me picking up pen and paper with a lightness that hasn't been there since I was a kid-

I just love seeing you around on here.

Blocks of tags with rambles- little stories and asides to soak up like a sponge or a plant, reminding me of this or that thought I've had myself- your passion for things, the breath of relief I let out reading something you wrote that says something I can't trust myself with.

The rhythm of your thoughts makes mine very happy, is what I mean. And that you share them- tossing small paper planes of your life out into the world- honest silliness, maybe? It takes bravery and kindness to do it, I think. Even when something upsets you or makes you sad, I'm grateful to see it- these things you care about enough to be hurt by, and to talk about.

From you, I won't argue about how good of a person I am. I'm smiling at the thought that you would think that of me, and I'll makes myself send this little ask to try to tell you back-

thank you for being you.

If tumblr crashes tomorrow and I never hear about you again, I'll always be grateful it lasted this long. I'll remember the rat stuck in a marble, with a skull for it's emblem, hoping you got to do some pottery, snuggled your cat, and had a little hot chocolate, as a treat~

I- I'm at a loss for words...

And crying. Oh words collect yourself into a proper order-

People have said kind things about me before, and it's always brought me joy- but nothing like this. You've cut right into my soul, found things I didn't even know would get to me like this if I heard them.

I want to comment more but re-reading what you said is almost painful, because I was not prepared to take in such words today, or ever. It hurts in the same way as thinking about the beauty in life for too long. I don't know if you understand what I mean- but strong joy, getting overwhelmed with feelings that are good

It's like my little body can't handle it, experiencing things it was not made for. This feeling is bleeding out of me, and I can't even name it. It's not joy. It's... Something better. The knowledge that someone I care for deeply could be made happier thanks to me, my words, my ramblings, my silliness, my art, even the serious and vulnerable moments. Everything. It's like you saw my entire self and said yeah... there's nothing I'd leave out. Oh gosh I'm crying again.

I didn't know you did actually print those drawings out. I've been wondering. I'm so very glad. Bringing you some joy with them is all I wanted. And that someone could appreciate my art this much- especially you. It's like something out of a dream. I didn't know life had such luck in store for me. That I could make art come more easily to someone else again. And you know I love your art. Every time you post something I scramble to get that across, after all. Clunky and anything but concise.

Often I fear that I may be doing too much, coming on too strong, saying so much where others would keep it short. But I've had my years of silence born of paranoia, and I got sick of it. So sick. The reason I started blogging is exactly that, a form of self imposed exposure therapy, I suppose. Every time I'd be afraid to share something, I reminded myself- that's exactly why you should do it. Even if your heart is beating so fast it makes you lightheaded. Which happens rarely now, because this worked, somehow.

And I find myself thinking of a different string of time- where I didn't. Where I let the fear win. Where I never met you and some other lovely people, where all these exchanges we've had, the art and the words and photos of little rocks and tote bags and comics of them running away- never happened. These things that fuel me even when things seem dim. You light something up in me that was previously difficult to cling to- an occasional burst of this spark. Now it is like a little star that has snuggled its way deeply into my heart, refusing to leave.

The rhythm of your thoughts make mine very happy too. I never feel like I have to adjust my thinking with you, because I know you'll understand. Your mind is just as wonderfully strange. I know no one else who creates hand snails and runaway totebags and the most perfect crest imaginable. Making art for you is so fun, because I feel like whatever I choose to depict, you'll get it.

What I want most in life is to be a good person. To bring people joy. Knowing I succeeded is more than I could ever hope for. Am I making sense? Why are you so easy to let into my heart? Why does letting you influence my creations, my way of thinking, my way of loving the world feel so right?

You bring out the best in me.

And that you think sharing what I do takes bravery- well I suppose you're right. I never thought anyone would realise. Would understand. But that it takes kindness? I never thought of it that way. I didn't think anyone would look at what I say and think, "how kind of you, that you chose to share this". I never thought that would be possible. I've had people tell me how happy my tags made them, a few times. That's what fueled me. I thought, if some have said it, then more must have thought it. And I want to keep spreading that joy. What I'm trying to say is you've reassured me in things I didn't dare hope for.

And that even my occasional admission of pain could be seen as good. That you would see me as good.

You're the reason you know. The reason I talk so much on here. I didn't use to do that. I think about the moment that made me follow you, I remember it clearly. I think about all that led to knowing you at all.

Thank you for sharing. I will come back to this, whenever I need a reminder that, well. That I did something right.

I'm glad you won't argue what I said. You couldn't change my mind anyways, on you being a good person. I am so very grateful to have you in my life. I find it hard to tell what people think of me. Thank you for the reassurance, your own bravery, and your beautiful words. They're like poetry.

If Tumblr crashed tomorrow, and I never heard of you again, I would be heartbroken. Truly and fully. But I would be grateful, as I already am. For the time you were a part of my life.

But this shall not happen. We haven't reblogged those snails yet, as we promised, and even after that. I don't want to imagine.

I'll do pottery some day. I'm snuggling my cat as I type, and I'll make myself a hot chocolate, in my dancing skeleton mug. And every day, I'll keep being reminded of you, and how you're everywhere now. In every little thing I've shared, that you got excited about. You're a part of that clay hand now, my spooky dishware, my lego frog, my tote bags, my rocks, my memories. I take a moment to take in nature and I'm reminded of your description of the light falling through your window, the spot you left just to appreciate it. I see a sword, a snail, a drawing of a werewolf, and you're always there.

When you let people take up your time, you let them take permanent residence in your heart. And with you, I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for being here, for being you, and for bringing a peace to my soul I didn't know it needed.

Thank you.

#this is so very long #and yet there is more I could say #once again I am anything but concise #but it's all I can be #I can't risk not getting my point across #do you understand #what you've done to my heart #and that I wouldn't trade it for anything #I love who I am with you #and you mean so much to me #being vulnerable is horrifying #but I think I can risk it #rätposting #ask by: #a-dauntless-daffodil #a url I hope to see for a long time to come

[spyroforlife]

23!

23.What work of yours would you like to have the biggest impact on the fandom?

Ooh.. tbh that's a tough one because I don't necessarily WANT to have a big impact on fandom at all, I'm just out to write self-indulgent lil things I enjoy and hopefully get feedback from people who come across my writing and also enjoy it, I write for myself but I also love discussing my works with others.

Storytime but I once had a very impactful fanfic, though this was while I was in the Gravity Falls fandom and it was midway through season 2, a VERY active time to be in the fandom. I wrote a BillDip fanfic called Payment in Blood that was pretty much just spawned from me drawing some stereotypical dark!Dipper corrupted by Bill Cipher artwork, and I thought. Hey I could turn this into a story. So I did, and what started out as a needlessly violent and gorey dark fic written for shits and giggles gained a huge following, to the point that you probably couldn't be a BillDip fan in late 2014 to 2015 and not know about it. I had people giving me suggestions to incorporate into the storyline and popular artists were drawing fanart for me, and when I showed up in art livestreams people would get all excited about me being there and want to discuss the story with me

Of course in livestreams I always made sure to gently redirect attention back to the artist, it felt rude to talk about my own stuff while someone else is sharing their art process with us, but it was really overwhelming tbh?? It was a LOT of attention to have on me and I felt a lot of pressure to make sure the story was absolutely perfect, and I think by the end I was really running out of steam and struggling to wrap it up. I DID manage to finish the story, it even got a sequel, and looking back on it I'm satisfied with what it is. And the story inspired a lot of new stories and artwork and I love that so many people got inspired to create because of PiB. But I'll always remember that as a very strange time in my life

So I guess what I'm getting at is that while it's fun to THINK about having a popular work that has a lot of impact on the fandom and everyone knows about it, having experienced that before, I can honestly say I can take it or leave it. I LOVE when I can inspire people to make things, if someone gets an idea from something of mine and wants to spin it into their own story, absolutely! Please! And I love having discussions about the characters and their choices, and about my planning, and ideas that were considered but ultimately abandoned, etc. Having a popular fic is fine. But idk. I don't think I'd like it if a story of mine got so popular that other people who aren't interested are getting bothered about if they've read it. I wouldn't want discussions about it dominating a tag that should be more general. I certainly wouldn't want to get harassed over a story of mine, or worse, someone ELSE getting harassed just because they openly enjoyed it. I can handle rude Internet tough guys. But I would never want other people being attacked because I made something popular and people liked it and other people think that's bad

idk if that makes sense but yeah. Sorry if this is really rambly, it's just that I genuinely am unsure if I want to make an impact on fandom, instead I just kinda like being in my own corner and if other people wanna come into my corner and hang out, that's great! But I don't really need to make anything that EVERYONE knows about. While there's good sides to that, there's negatives as well, so eh. I just don't know.

But as an apology for such a long-winded answer. If I did need to choose one to have an impact. You know what.

Triple Life because omegaverse (sorta) Life series season is SUCH a ridiculous fucking idea and I'm so glad for the post that made me go "haha what if" and then actually write it. I think it'd be funny if people were doing like. Analysis and fanart and shit about this story of mine in particular. Look at my smutty Life series fanfic, boy

#youvebeenjynxed #mcyt #triple life #trafficblr #trafficshipping #ask games #writing #my writing

[skeefy]

For me, Off was at its most popular during a time where I didn't even know what fandom was. When I was introduced to fandoms, my interests were not in areas that would easily bring the game to my attention. Around 2018-2019 I came across Off through Markiplier but some kind of disconnect happened somewhere. He didn't even make it out of Zone 0 before I just clicked out. It wasn't him personally, i couldve always found a different letsplayer, it was just the game. I added it to my watch later with the intent of getting back to it but I never did despite having to look at it every time I watched the other videos I placed there. Roughly two weeks ago I decided to clear out the clutter of my watch later and was presented with a choice. Watch Mark play Off or delete it. Given that I'm typing this message I think you know what choice I made. Off is an amazing game and I regret ignoring it for so long. Especially once I realized the quiet state of the fandom. The reason I say quiet not dead, the reason I wrote this whole thing actually is to express my thanks to you and the other active Off fans for holding down the fort so latecomers like myself can still enjoy what you've been enjoying all this time. Thank you, God bless

Hello dear, thank you for this message!

I was never interested in joining fandoms, but there were a few tiny exceptions, off being one.

In 2012-2013 I tried to join the fandom but it was very hard for me to express my interests plus some ppl called me a weirdo for liking Enoch, I tried to search other fans of him or of zone 3 and didn't find much (most was focused on batter or zacharie back then) so I thought "I will return here in the future when the game is thriving".

However I forgot about it so I ended up missing everything that happened when the fandom was at its prime ah ah ah!

Only 10 years later I decided I wanted to try participating in fandoms once again. Told myself I'd make things different in 2023 and so, I decided to share my off stuff to the internet!

Thank you for appreciating the game and the fandom, and for your interactions in it, which also contribute! I hope others see this because the fandom hasn't died thanks to many.

I am very happy you have enjoyed my stuff and others, and I am glad others as well as me have decided to share their work no matter how quiet the fandom may seem.

There are people out there writing fics, making art, making fan games, music and even animations so definitely not dead!

Thank you for taking the time to put your feelings and thoughts into words! I love reading what others are thinking and feeling <3

oh and to anyone reading this, don't be scared to reach other to other fans and talk or tell them how much you like their ideas and work. This year I've made so many wonderful and talented friends that I used to admire from far away and it's the best feeling in the world to have common interests that bring people closer

#Skeef answers #off mortis ghost #off rpg #off game #off fandom

[frecklystars]

I’m so very glad you liked the 3rd fic too and you found comfort in it. I saw your vent art, and boom! It just came to me.

Can I admit something to you? You’re actually the first person on tumblr I’ve shared my writing with. I saw your original post about a Court x Keri fic and I don’t know, I just felt compelled to share. And then again and again!

And the fact you responded so positively really makes me happy. So thank you for your kind remarks.

Also congratulations, sweet friend. You’re the only person on this entire website - and one of two in real life besides me - who has access to my work :)

Whaaaat!!!! I'm so honored!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 That is extremely kind of you to trust me with viewing your writing. I think it's absolutely beautiful.

You have such a lovely way of tapping into a character and why they'd function the way they do. Like with your Six fic for example I really loved how you put this little sentence abt him being very sneaky, despite not trying to be, it's just ingrained into him from nearly two decades of being a CIA operative, being trained to act that way. Hell, maybe longer. He probably trained himself from a young age to be quiet and tiptoe around the house, given his... unfortunate family circumstances.

Or when you wrote that really sweet comfort fic... you had Ken hold me - er, my scared little star form - close to his chest, and he slipped from the leather couch and sat on the floor. I really like that line. That's a very Ken thing to do. We've never seen him do that in the movie, yet when you read that, you think "oh yeah he'd absolutely do that". It's a childlike, innocent gesture, and it really brings out his dollness. I love his dollness, I love little things like that 🥺 I love the little quirks and mannerisms about different characters doing different tiny throwaway things that make up a lot of who they are

I am so honored that you not only trusted me enough to share your work with me, but to even have your writing customized Just For Me. like... I know my name is Keri, but every time I'd read Ken or Six calling me Keri I'd be like "GASP. I'M KERI??? 🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘 THAT'S ME??? THEY'RE TALKING TO ME?? 🥺🥺🥺" SDFLKJSDLKFSF it just feels really exciting. And it's SO HELPFUL dude I've been struggling so freaking badly with feeling comforted/safe for such a long time, and I really really need these characters. I've always relied on fiction to get through the day. Getting that reassurance that they love me is so helpful, and especially in fic form; my gosh, that's one of the best experiences, I think, for someone to take the time and energy to create something for you. And you did that for me? A random person on the internet? I'm so touched.

"Your F/O loves you" is such a common reminder people in the self shipping community will leave in inboxes. I don't think I go a month without posting at least once "can someone send me reassurance on [insert F/O here]?" and reading positive things abt them being very loving is geuinely sooo helpful. Reading whole entire fics is like, a whole other level of reassurance, because you're writing a detailed series of events unfolding. It doesn't matter if it's 3 sentences or 3 paragraphs or 3 pages. You're mentally painting a picture of characters sitting in a room chatting, and you're making this visual of them being very gentle and loving with me, while tapping into the characteristics of what makes them who they are and how they'd show their fondness/tenderness differently. Having that?? Custom made?? For me???? With the characters I hold so dear to my heart and rely on to get through the day??? It means everything. It means everything and I think you're an incredibly sweet person for going out of your way to do that for me.

Thank you for sharing your writing with me anon, you're a sweetheart and I am giving you the biggest hug. sharing my chocolate chip cookies with you too 🍪💕

#anonymous #asks #keepsake #now if you'll excuse me i'm going to read all 3 of them 500 more times #btw if you ever want another doodle!! i gotchu!!

[palepinkgoat]

TAG GAME WEDNESDAY: FANDOM EDITION (ok, it's Thursday, but let's roll with it)

Thank you @juliakayyy and @energieviefor tagging me!

your name: Karen

your age: possibly as old as your mom, youngsters

your first fandom(s): I was OBSESSED with Buffy in the mid season in particular, but I didn't really know how to connect with anyone, and our internet was very, very slow because we couldn't afford the better kind. And the computer was unreliable. Different times.

your current fandom(s): Shameless

how did you first get into fandom? I saw a clip on YouTube of the van kiss, which led to the kiss at Svetlana and Mickey's wedding, and then I was like WHAT and bought the 3 available seasons via amazon. I fell in love with every character, but we all know who ruled that show for me. At the time I was recovering from a serious injury where I couldn't really walk and had a lot of complications, so I spent a lot of time in bed re-watching the episodes and fan-videos/montages. Then I joined Tumblr, where I had 9 friends. I just lurked because I felt shy.

how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? Oh sweet Jesus, since 2014. Not plugged in to social media for seasons like 7-9 just for reasons but I remained obsessed. The night the club kiss happened I seriously yelled and cried. I'm glad I could see that live because it was literally UNBELIEVABLE that that would happen and it was like a high intensity fandom moment. A group meltdown.

how often do you read fanfics? every single day

top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): Ian, Mickey, and I actually love Lip because JAW is fantastic and quite handsome.

have you ever written a fic for a fandom? if so, shout it out. I'm pink_ink on Ao3! My first fic was written in 2014 and I was so prolific in 2014 and 2015! I can't believe how much and how fast I wrote some of that stuff.

have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? Oh man, that would be amazing if I could. But I can't draw anything other than a puppy I learned how to draw in the third grade.

share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: Mickey was born at home and he has foreskin (aka was never circumcised). And Ian LOVES it. I will die on this hill. And despite Ian's disparaging comment in that highly stupid "carl is not circumcised" plot line (of course they would know he was intact, they would have seen his penis a million times in diapers and in dressing in close quarters, etc) he loves Mickey's dick just how it is. Which is with foreskin, obviously. It's (head)canon.

you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? I'd show the wedding kiss because it shows a bit of the intensity of the plot, and it's one of the first things I saw.

and finally, what does fandom mean to you? I've met some amazing people who are truly my friends as much as those in "real life." I'm still meeting new people who are becoming fast friends as well. We are connected by this love that makes us all so happy, and that's an incredible root of relationships. I've met a couple people in person and there are so many of you I'd love to meet someday! There can be drama in any group, but I'm too old for that shit. So I stay on the sunny side and love it over here.

#long winded #about me #go ahead and do it if you wanna!