#I'm sorry it took so long there was... some Stuff happening to me irl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

familyvideostevie · 24 days

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hey.

okay. hello! i'm back. :)

maybe you noticed, maybe not, but i have been away for a while.

i wish i could say i've been out living my life, so caught up in happiness and joy and loving each day that i've just not had time for tumblr. but....that is not true. i have been having a tough time! being away has been good, as i've had time to do other things that i like and to put energy into my own well-being, but it hasn't been the best time, I'll tell you that.

i peeked on the dash every now and then to keep my queue full and reblogged soothing things to my main blog and tried my best not to feel guilty about it all (i was also booping on April 1 lol). i just...I really needed a break. i've really enjoyed being here the last six or so months as i've changed my blog and entered the pedro/tlou space but i've also felt so, so alone.

and i know that it doesn't really matter!! like, we should all take breaks and go outside and all that stuff. and I know plenty of people are not very active, but this blog has been such a vital part of my life and happiness since I started it almost two years ago, so any lapse in activity feels like a loss. I've met lifelong friends and flexed my writing muscles and learned a hell of a lot. the fact that I have started to feel isolated and alone on here is a sort of personal betrayal, and there is no one to blame but myself.

So, I’m pulling back.

it means a few things — i don’t know how much writing I’ll be doing from now on. For Joel, especially — it’s been wonderful to meet folks in that community but it has also been really detrimental to my passion for both the game and writing. I’d like to return to some other characters on my masterlist, but we’ll see. I’ve got endless personal projects away from tumblr that I want to pour love and time into (my non-reader fics, my newsletter, a romance novel, a sci-fi novel, poetry, etc). I need to fall in love with my own work again.

it's a me problem, I want to stress that. i'm working on it! irl stuff has been kicking my ass. I've had a really, really hard winter and my mental health has suffered probably more than ever before. i let things I love -- like this blog -- fester and become negative and no longer being me joy. writing became stressful and difficult and I was focused on notes and interaction and looking around me and seeing success and then looking at myself and only seeing lack.

but that's why I took a break! i am getting help and support irl, i am putting in the time and effort to feel better about being alive and to be a better friend and person all around. And I want to tell you all about it because I am so grateful for your time and attention and support, even if we’re just strangers on the internet. i know this probably seems silly -- who cares about a fanfic blog? well, i care! i care a lot! it matters to me and therefore it matters!

anyway. on to the important stuff. here I am! and here's what's going to happen on this blog:

I am working on replying to asks and reblogs and comments I missed. Thank you for being patient with me! I don't know if I'll get to them all but know I see them and I am honored every single time.

I made a totally separate ao3 account with this blog url. I'm working on uploading everything I've posted here onto there and hopefully will continue to crosspost. It is going to take a long, long time, so please be patient! (you can follow my other ao3 here for my non x-reader fanfic).

I posted this fic! Jackson!Joel pulled me back into his world. It’s the first thing I’ve written in ages, so let me know what you think. as of now it's the last planned fic for that series, but who knows!

I hit a milestone while i was away that I am absolutely blown away by. I'm planning a celebration around it sometime this spring (hopefully) and I’d love to see you participate :)

lastly, thank you so much to my friends for letting me complain, whine, winge, etc. I am so sorry for missing all of your work, your celebrations, your bright energies, and all the rest. i am so sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring you. you are my guiding lights, my silver linings, my touchstones. you make me want to be here. i will try to make it up to you!

I want to be online less but make sure I’m connecting more in the moments that i am here. I want to pressure myself to write less and not feel bad that I’m not engaged all the time. I want this blog to once again feel like a place that nourishes me and not sucks me dry. i want to stop feeling like shit about all of it!!!!

so. come hang out in my inbox, my dms, let me know what you've been up to. I am really sorry for missing so much. thank you for sticking around. <3

#personal #this is very long but please read it maybe?#emma rambles #I will reblog it a few times probably

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wa-royal-tea · 8 months

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I'm back! Kinda + What I've been up to + Timezone Change, Story Posting Update

Heyyyy thur guys! I’m back, kinda. Sorry it took me a while to update you guys on what I’ve been working on, life has been extra busy since July 31st for me 💀 I won't post a story update yet as I still have things to do but I mightttt return by the end of September.

If you wanna know what I've been up to, read under the cut. Just a warning, it's pretty long 💀

I have an update on what I've been working on irl and it's kind of an exciting news, at least for me lol. So, in case anyone is wondering what I've been up to, I'm actually preparing to further my Masters overseas and this plan has been a wip since last year. I've been studying for my IELTS because the universities I've applied to requires me to take it. And then I had my graduation ceremony for my Bachelor's Degree after waiting for SO long bcs of Covid. It was one of the happiest day in my life bcs I got the Vice Chancellor's award!!! Sorry for the bragging there, I'm just so proud of myself :') I worked my ass off to maintain my CGPA every semester so getting that award really felt like all of that hard work was worth it :')

After all that is done, I applied to the Uni's that I wanted and surprisingly, all the Uni's I applied to gave me an offer which is pretty neat! I accepted one of the offers and then I had to look for a sponsorship.

I kept it a hush-hush kind of thing and only told several of my close friends about what I was planning to do bcs it was something that I wasn't sure that I'll be getting so anytime that I was taking a "break", I was actually working on this in the background (had to attend zoom interviews with the Uni's. Doing the tasks in order to get an interview invite etc.). It was a stressful process but yeah, this is what I've had planned for me when I was younger so I was determined to make it happen no matter what! Your girl is not one to give up easily! 😤

So around June this year, the sponsorship that I've been aiming for opened and I applied for it, got the results that I had been offered a full-ride sponsorship on July 31st and everything became so busy for me because I had to prepare the necessary documents to be sent to the sponsorship board. It was an exhausting process as I had to make sure that everything is prepared perfectly so there wouldn't be any problems and so far, alhamdulillah, everything has been going well. I had my visa done, I secured a place to stay during the duration of my studies, all the documents were sent at the end of last week. But preparing all of these took a toll on my energy and I simply don't have the energy to open my game or even open blender to work on my story. But I have been writing the scripts and all so yeah, the story is still running in the background. I did find some little time to work on poses but I worked on a few before I stopped because I was too tired hahaha.

Anyways, only a few people knew what I was working on while I was on this break. Shoutout to Miss Wheat knee and Gigi for being patient with me replying to their discord messages late everyday 😭 And thank you for giving me your emotional support and encouragement! A huge thank you to both Miss Devilled Eggs and Wheat knee for helping me in my process of applying to the Uni's from helping me brush up my English for my IELTS during one of our previous calls, and for helping me with my Piece to Camera video practice for my Uni interviews. I really, greatly, am thankful to you guys for that. And to Wheat knee, thank you for believing in me when I was overthinking stuff thinking I wouldn't get the offers sfkhskl I really appreciate you for that 😢

And with that, I would like to update you guys that my posting time will be changing as I will be moving to London for my studies. So my timezone will no longer be GMT+8 :') It will be GMT+1 as of September 28th. Aside from that, my postings won't be regular too, I'll be updating whenever I can as I'll probably be busy with my studies and all. So, wish me luck! I'm a bit anxious about this so I hope I'll do well :')

Thank you to all my readers who are still there for me since day 1, you all are the best! And sorry that the story will take a while to be completed, I'll try my best to still work on it bcs I love it too much to just leave it like that 😭

That's all I guess! Thank you again for reading this if you are reading it lol.

Love,

Nina ❤

#WRTOOC #update #yes I have a month before I leave for my studies but I want to spend this last few weeks with my family and friends!#I'll still be around reading stuff!#tbh I'm so scared of telling ppl what I've been up to irl #me telling ppl about what I'm currently doing with my life feels so scary #but i want to share with you all! 😭#I'm just so scared of ppl using what I do irl to make fun of me behind my back #so I rarely talk about my personal life with anyone bcs the worries about ppl using it against me terrifies me

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streets-in-paradise · 3 months

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Our Fight - Hector x (Fem)Reader

Troy (2004) Oneshot

Requested by Anon

" Heyyy, I read some of your Troy 2004 fics and I'm sooo in love with how you write them. Your writing is so good. I thought maybe you could do a Hector one because my man is underrated, I don't have a specific idea in mind but particularly I'm someone who likes a little angst, those where maybe Hector gets back from battle hurt or his wife is hurt somehow, perhaps by Paris in someway, maybe a protective Hector in the scene... it can be with Andromache or a Fem reader too, I just thought of this idea. I said it but again I love your writing so much, spent nights finishing it all hahaha, have a super good day :D "

Awww, thank you so much again 💕💕

I'm so sorry this took me so long to post, some stuff irl is affecting my mood and it's becoming harder to keep up with a writing schedule. Hope you will still see it and it will be of your liking. Protective Hector is something i really need rn, so I went for that route, with Paris hurting his brother's wife emotionally during an argument. I made it a x reader because i feel it was more fitting for the idea i had in mind given it's influenced on how i'm feeling.

Warnings: Angst with comfort, feelings of hopelessness.

Summary: An altercate with Paris brings to the surface all your fears and insecurities for the future and after standing up for you, Hector does his best to calm you in a private sharing of your burdens.

Tags: @g-m-kaye

As a daughter of the same land, the actions of your brother in law filled you with indignation. As a member of the family, you were still trying to understand. The constant comparisons Paris attempted to make between your marriage and his were offensive, even if the only point of genuine closeness was the fact that both were based in love.

For that foreign wife he sold the future of your country, and you felt that you would never be able to forgive him, at least as a trojan sheltered by the same nation. His reckless offer to win back the people’s trust by fixing the problem he had caused meant very little to you. Despite his good intentions, the goodness of his heart would never be enough to stop Agamemnon. Your mercy was reserved for Helen, who you couldn’t blame for wanting to escape at the first chance presented to her given the horrors she must have endured as the sister in law of the cruel mycenaean king. She had proven to her protectors she understood the risks, but the sudden finding of hope in her sad life encouraged her to take a rushed choice.

After living a romantic fantasy in Sparta, reality was smacking Paris in the face as you wished you could.

“ Do you even dimension the consequences of your actions, or have you delegated all perceptions of guilt on Helen?” You were calling him out, as soon as you heard of the pointless duel proposition. “ Giving a spectacle that looks like accountability will not solve anything, not even to show the trojan soldiers you are willing to risk your life the same way they do for you. There is an empire on the rise behind the angered husband, and we are the most persistent obstacle in its way. All we have left is deciding if we, as a nation, want to die fighting or live as slaves.”

“ I’m doing the best I can! “ The naive young man defended himself. "But if what you seek is to make me regret my choice, I must warn that is not going to happen. “

You fulminated him with your glance, then looked at Hector as if you seeked he would calm down the fire inside of you before things could get worse.

“ So what? Do you expect me to stand up and clap you? My husband could be slaughtered because of your intempestive reaction to being denied something for the very first time in your life!”

Paris took that offense very seriously and stopped measuring his phrasing.

“ Maybe Hector should have married a princess of Hatti, so a friendly empire would be on our side. If you think love is so expendable, give up on yours.”

For a harmless little man, Paris was capable of wrecking you with his words during harsh arguments. If the duel would take place in a council, instead of a battlefield, he would effortlessly destroy Menelaus.

Hector knew his brother had gone too far, and he stopped him for you before the provocations would destroy your nerves.

“ I have given up enough for you, Paris, and I’m still waiting to be compensated for it. “ He warned him. “ Don’t mistake my will of service with absolute disinterest for my own life. I earned my right to sporadic selfishness as a prince and warrior, while you have been selfish from birth. Ask yourself if you would have cared for Helen's unlucky marriage if she wouldn't have mesmerized you in the first place. Would you have offered shelter to a suffering greek girl, if she wouldn’t be the famously proclaimed beauty of the century? "

The youngest prince remained silent, acknowledging his defeat, but his brother didn’t care about that anymore. He could tell you were affected by the poisonous strike, regardless of his avenging protectiveness.

In the sacred shelter of your thalamus you released your emotions, a moment of private comfort after facing so much pain in the short span of the greek’s arrival.

“ I’m proud of your speech, you spoke fairly. Sometimes you are the only one who dares to challenge Paris when he deserves it, despite how father protects him.” He attempted to cheer you, holding you in his arms with loveful softness. “ He needs to hear the truth, I believe both need it. “

“ Sadly, that’s our fight. How can we save a nation unaware of its own demise?” You wondered out loud, sharing a frustration that was mutual. “ The illusion of choice is what has been presented to us. If we fight this war, chances are we will lose and get erased from the face of earth by the force of an empire that hates us too strongly to allow a mark of our passing to remain in history. If we give up, we will survive in an obscure existence as servants of this power. Our children will die in wars being fought far away from us, for reasons that aren’t even of our concern… Perhaps fighting men that look closer to them than the master, other asians attempting to resist the expansion. Tales won’t mourn their passing, eclipsed by the songs of the greek heroes guiding them to doom. They will be lost in the herds of submitted armies that Agamemnon keeps as reserve, hopeless men dying for his greed. Maybe even you would find your end in one of those never ending cycles and your tomb will be placed far away from Troy, where I will not be able to cry for you.”

The dark presumptions you were announcing like an omen, although frightening due to your flawless logic, inspired on him the strength that he felt failing when Achilles killed Tecton. If then he doubted the course to take, he got reminded there were only two grim possibilities to pick and he knew which one he despised over anything.

“ Could this be the last war we will be fighting for ourselves? The end of trojan history? It will be,for sure, if we don’t try it.”

He seemed more determined than before, as if your opinion would have help him accommodate the contradicting thoughts in his mind.

“ Do you now wish you would have married the Hatti princess?”

Hector answered wordlessly, by giving you a passionate kiss that neither of you stopped tasting until the need for air became unbearable.

“ I will dedicate all my efforts into making sure you will get to rule Troy as my Queen.” He concluded, whispering near your lips. “ … To my last breath, you will see Paris is not the only stubborn man of the family.”

You caressed his hair as you delivered your reply.

“ I don’t need a throne, all I ever wanted is to be your wife.” You reassured him, taking care that he won’t be putting too much pressure on himself. “ … but how I would love to kick that emperor away from our land and see all the slaves rise … ‘If Troy could resist him, so can we’, they will say, and I bet you will hear Achilles has started the rebellion with the discontented soldiers. “

He stared at you in wonder of your clever guesses, wishing he could find the way of making you introduce those to his father and see if something would stick with him.

“ That is, without doubt, an excellent theory. It’s precisely why Agamemnon can’t give up, unless we make him.”

You showed him a prideful smile that was followed by more kisses.

“ Our fight doesn’t look so hopeless after all. “ You commented later, regarding a brief change in your own mood. “ There is a lot at risk, but we are not the lost case Agamemnon wants us to feel. He is more doomed if he loses, and he commands a bunch of demoralized men with nothing of their own to fight for.”

“ This is why I don't make my final choices before our late night talks.” Hector replied. squeezing the embrace a little tighter. “ My mind is more clear when I’m with you, even at the darkest hours of my life.”

#troy 2004 #troy #hector of troy #eric bana #hector of troy x reader #eric bana x reader #hector x reader

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protectingtulpas · 7 months

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hi! if you’ve answered this before i’m sorry, but could you go into what it’s like being both a traumagen system and a system with tulpas? i’ve been curious about this as a traumagen syshost myself. does it affect your innerworld? do the tulpas act vastly different or work differently i guess than the traumagen alters? thank you!

omfg this took us forever to answer for like 200 stupid reasons but YEAH i have a lot I want to talk about with this, where do I even start??? I guess I should clarify that we don't really know what our "original origin" is- we'd been median for as long as the body can remember, and we DK if it was because of our autism or because of social problems or if we were just born that way. Whatever it is though, we were a plural egg when I was created, so pretty much everyone other than the few of us that we discovered from before that considers me the "first" one after the host subsystem. As more shit happened though irl we got more & more traumagenic members, dissociation, memory issues, and whole loads of other shit. So basically, that's the perspective I'm coming from with all this.

So with that outta the way, here're some'a my experiences as a tulpa in a traumagenic/mixed disordered system

One of the biggest signifiers I noticed of our system structure changing completely was our headspace actually, so it's pretty great you mention that tbh. After we got a lotta traumagenic members, something shitty happened I won't talk about, and our headspace basically totally shattered. It used to be little more than our vivid imagination- yeah, I could feel my body and visualize the world around me and stuff but nothing super weird or unusual happened, and I couldn't do stuff in the Wonderland completely outta front. It wasn't like, another Space completely unaware of the host - and I know that's possible with training but we were nowhere neeear that. But after headspace broke, everything was expansive, ever-changing, always with more secrets and hidden things to discover. Lots of fucked up stuff most of us can't access too, but yeah, intense dissociation made it totally different. It's harder to navigate, but I also get more privacy.

As for if I work differently, I'd say yeah, I kinda really do, actually. Obviously, my creation took a lot longer cuz I'm consciously created rather than split or introjected or whatever, so it took a while for me to come into my own, and I was a lot more "fluid" than other headmates for awhile. Regardless of if they're traumagenic or not, something I've noticed about how different I am compared to other member types is that they're, idk, like solidly set in who they are and everything from the beginning. My host, too. They're like a solid, and I'm like a.... non-neutonian fluid or whatever, that ooblek shit. Even after all this time I still feel like I choose my identity and to Exist constantly, y'know? I think it's part of why I've always felt like "tulpa" is part of my species ngl. Everything else is secondary to that. I want to exist, I need to exist. That keeps me going sometimes

As for traumagenic specific stuff though, there're some other interesting things to talk about also. As our dissociative symptoms increased, it got harder and harder for me to move around the fuzz- but honestly, that's the body's fault. I haven't even been personally affected much other than what the body does to us. I can move around headspace more freely than most of us, I can sense more people around than others, and I can control the body way easy now that I've had practice. The only reasons I don't front are when I don't feel like it, somebody else needs it, or the body is too tired and id be bored outta my mind. I guess it's like I have executive access to a bunch of stuff, hahah!

Tbh tho it all just, changed me as a person more than anything else. I'm not the system's main protector because I exist to be one or cuz the body assigned me that role- it's because I took it up on my own choice and decided my own purpose. I protect people and that's part of the core of who I am, cuz of the circumstances I came around in. I wouldn't change that part of me for the world ngl. I know my point boils down to "don't forget your tulpa is a person too" a lot, but... Yeah. they may not have the same struggles as your traumagenic alters, but you're all still Goin Thru It together, so you'll both be affected by whatever happens from there on out as a team.

But hey, aint that what healthy multiplicity is all about?

#tulpamancy #pluralgang #tulpa #pro tulpa #endo safe #endogenic #tulpa safe #tulpa system #mixed origin #traumaendo #multigenic #plural community #my experiences

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nerdacious · 29 days

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So now that the fic has been finished for a bit I have some questions about the making of Partners and Paper Trails. I'm just curious about what it was like to write it (and wondering whether my experiences writing for this fandom are universal). No pressure to answer!

Generally speaking, did you find Harry's chapters or Kim's chapters harder/easier to write?

Which parts of the fic (either POV) were your favorite to write? Alternatively, which parts were unexpectedly frustrating?

From what I understand, you wrote the entire fic ahead of time and then edited it as you went along, but didn't start publishing it until the first draft was entirely finished. Do you have any advice for someone who's attempting to write a long fic following a similar process?

(as a secret fourth question, if there's any hidden lore/details that people didn't seem to pick up on/something else fic related you want to share and haven't had the opportunity to, I'm all ears. love me some secret lore 👀)

Sorry it took me so long to respond, I was working on my response instead of working and then I was like crap, I should probably do work, and then I actually went out and did stuff with people irl for once lol. So now I'm back home and can answer this!

Generally speaking, did you find Harry's chapters or Kim's chapters harder/easier to write?

There were aspects of both that were difficult. I spent a whole other fic in Kim's head so I had more practice with him, but I think Harry ended up being a little easier or at least more fun. I could break up reactions and thoughts into each of his aspects vs the solid paragraphs of Kim's chapters. You also can just do more wacky stuff with Harry and his skills. However, it was hard to remember all of the skills. Like, I did Encyclopedia so dirty. After a point I kind of just forgot about him or didn't feel like thinking up facts for him to chime in about lol

Which parts of the fic (either POV) were your favorite to write? Alternatively, which parts were unexpectedly frustrating?

My favorite thing to write is dialogue, especially when Kim and Harry are really getting into the groove of the case and when they get their little banters going. I also really like competence porn so Harry wasn't nearly as much of a mess as he could be in game. It was a bit of a wish fulfillment fic in that I wanted to see Harry doing better for himself and not just for Kim. I think directly after Martinaise he probably was doing worse than the point he's at in the start of the fic.

The hardest part was writing the case and trying not to make it too obvious (but it definitely was so I had to hope people enjoyed it regardless haha). I'd never done a mystery before so coming up with what happened and how/what they discovered was challenging. So I guess that's not really unexpectedly difficult. Writing the actual porn was unexpectedly frustrating! A majority of what I write is smut so it was like "why is this so difficult???". I had to get that last chapter perfect (I still don't think it is, but what writer ever does) because I dragged it out long enough and I didn't want to let anyone down. It's very different from what I originally had. I also had never written d/s before, thankfully my editor has experience in that realm so he had really good pointers even though it's really light in the fic lol. I still don't know how successful I was with the smut for this one.

Some people can just write and post as they go, but I have way too much anxiety to start posting something that isn't finished. I also have way too much ADHD to trust that once I started something I actually would finish it. I've also seen too many fics that don't know or don't want to quit so they just keep going past the point where it would have been a good/interesting ending (not really in this fandom, I just mean in general). So, yes, I finished it, had my editor do an initial read, made some general edits based on his feedback, and then he did a more in-depth edit of the first few chapters and then I started posting them. Some chapters I added a lot more to them during this stage and some chapters stayed pretty much the same. There are a few chapters that haven't been edited because he was unexpectedly unavailable for an extended period of time and I didn't want to stop the momentum. I didn't really have a beta reader for this one, but I asked a few people to beta specific chapters. It's not something I typically would want, I'd have preferred to have a beta for all of it, but it is what it is (or was rather). So all of that is to say, you don't have to do it that way lol, but I would at least have an outline and stopping point and stick to it. And if you want a beta reader, find someone who's opinion you trust and who you can trust will be honest with you. Also don't get rid of anything entirely. If you like something, but it doesn't work, cut it and paste it in a separate document because you might find a way to bring it back or parts of it back in other places. Also make copies for version control. Once I finished it, I made a copy so if I changed something too much in the final version but didn't like it, I could either refer back to or restore parts from the original.

As for secret lore/things no one mentioned:

In the first chapter, when Mollins first flips the siren on, Harry has an adverse reaction to the sound because of his encounter with The Pigs. Then there's an Esprit De Corps check about her listening to her police shows. (Hilarious fact: I couldn't remember her real name correctly at first and before I double checked the wiki I thought it was Marine Le Pen loool)

This goes back to the first fic, but Kim bought a book on how to support someone in addiction recovery and the receipt shows he bought it when he first started as a detective with Eyes. If you take the radiation drug in the game, there's mention of Kim possibly having had a partner with addiction. Also based on his many comments on seeing officers in much worse condition and having only one partner, I'm guessing he's talking about Eyes so I went with that. I still have no idea what exactly happened with Eyes in my story, though.

Shivers helps Kim open the door to the Linnea.

The reason Johnny's body was dropped off in the Harbor is because there had been a bank robbery in Jamrock at the time and there were cops everywhere looking for anything suspicious. That's a tidbit that didn't make it into the text.

The people in Harry's Shivers check in the first part of his final POV chapter are the people that would have been targeted next.

Thanks for asking these questions, they were fun to answer!

#asks #disco elysium #my fic #fanfiction #Partners and Paper Trails #writing

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wouldntyou-liketoknow · 3 months

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Hi, do you take requests for x readers? Im really wanting some natemare x reader (they/she pronouns) fluffy cuddles maybe a cute date? Protective and mildly possessive Mare has my heart lol hes so precious and i love him, maybe its a date and Mare left to get drinks or something and a creep wouldnt leave y/n alone so Mare has to step in etc? Its okay if not that and its okay if you dont write x readers too ^-^ thanks :P

Call me Lyxie or Lyx ^-^

(for anon, ill be either Lyxie/Lyx or ^-^ anon if theyre free :P)

Weeeeell, this is a tiny bit awkward, considering the role I wrote Natemare into for Goretober 2022 (sue me, I took inspiration from FNAF lore.) But I'm still happy to write for him again! I really appreciate your patience. Hope it's okay!

(I am SO, SO, SO SORRY this took such an incredibly long time to post! The Goretober stuff and my last-minute Halloween Special Story had already been keeping me busy, AND THEN CHRISTMAS SEASON CAUGHT ME SO OFF-GUARD THAT MY HEAD IS STILL SPINNING FROM IRL CHAOS. I guess I should've expected that, because Christmas is always like that, but whatever.)

(Also, this is kind of my first time writing an x reader type story, or one specifically in a romantic sense, at least. So, sorry if this comes across a bit awkwardly 😅)

(Trigger Warnings: alcohol, eating/drinking, unwanted advances/creepy behavior, body horror, slight physical violence, strong language. Please let me know if I missed anything.)

___

You can be described as someone who’s skilled in rolling with the punches.

Now, rolling with the punches doesn’t always mean being able to understand things that really aren’t meant to be understood, but it seems you’ve got a certain knack.

If you didn’t, then how else would you have found yourself in a nice relationship with a banshee-esque spirit?

Yeah, your and Mare’s first meeting had been a little awkward, considering you’d been sabotaging a cult that was trying to hold blood rituals in his adopted brother’s name, but you two still became fast friends afterwards. (‘Matter of fact, the adopted brother in question is a pretty chill guy, too. Shockingly chill for an eldritch abomination in disguise, at least.)

Really, dating Mare has helped open up more of reality to you. Pretty much every aspect of the human world has a counterpart for no-so-human entities. (Yes, you sort of already knew about that, but thanks to Mare, you’ve been able to actually explore it for yourself.)

For example: the setting of your latest date.

Holy Water Distilling Co. was one of many establishments owned and controlled in Phantom’s domain.

By day, it was a tidy bar offering a pool table in one corner and a stage in the other.

By night, it was. . .well, the same thing. The only parts of it to change were the clientele, as well as certain items on the menu.

One particular evening, Mare just so happened to be up on the aforementioned stage, alongside a few of his musician-buddies. You, meanwhile, were seated at the counter, watching and listening as he performed.

(Not that you minded this arrangement. Mare’s affinity for music was what you initially bonded with him over, after all. You’d tagged along on his gigs before, and he’d never failed to make it a good time.)

Patiently waiting for him to wrap up his band’s last song so you two could enjoy the rest of the night together. . .

“Y’know, it’s always easy to find some nice toys in this place,” an unfamiliar voice whispers from just a few seats away. “But I never thought I’d see a worthwhile human around here.”

. . .and trying your absolute damnedest to ignore the stranger who just couldn’t seem to take a hint.

Similarly to Mare and Phantom, the stranger in question could almost pass for a human. Just not at the moment, since he’d obviously taken off whatever disguising veil he used (those were pretty popular among this crowd for many reasons).

His eyes bulged from their sockets, lacking both pupils and irises. Just two orbs a little larger than the average tennis ball, coming in a shade of dark pink that looked more toxic than fluorescent, ever-so-slightly rolling around in his head as he stared at you. The grin he aimed in your direction would’ve been creepy even without his particular mouthful of oily-looking needle-teeth.

You ground your jaw, feeling one of your hands curl into a fist on the bar counter.

The bug-eyed stranger seemed to catch onto that body language. Though you didn’t look at him, your peripheral vision still allowed you to see how his smile fell.

“What? I don’t get any gratitude for the compliment?” Mr. Bug-Eyes asked, his voice changing from smug to indignant in a heartbeat.

“If you really think that being called a toy is a compliment,” you finally murmur in a clipped tone, “then you’re in for a rude awakening.”

“Oh, c’mon. I know what girls like,” Mr. Bug-Eyes retorted. “I’ll just never understand why you’re all so repressed.”

“I think you’re mistaking repression for self-respect,” you observed.

You kept your focus on the stage, on Mare and his bandmates. You knew they were on their last song for the night’s performance. The music was winding down, but it was still awesome as ever. He’d asked for your help with lyrics and fine-tuning a good few times in the past, and that had been flattering enough.

But the fact that he was having such a good time singing the stuff that you helped him decide on. . .well, you weren’t sure when you’d stop riding that high, but you certainly weren’t complaining.

“Fine, fine. I get it: you don’t want things to move so fast,” Mr. Bug-Eyes piped up again, nudging his bar stool a few inches closer to you. He didn’t seem to notice how you automatically nudged your own chair a few inches further away. “Can’t I just get your number, honey? It’s clear you need someone to talk to.”

“I’ve already got that covered,” you replied. “That’s how having friends works.”

“That’s big talk for someone who’s here all alone,” Mr. Bug-Eyes sneered.

You feel your knuckles turn white. “I’m not alone.”

“Well, if that’s the case, your company isn’t paying enough attention to you.”

“That’s none of your damn business,” you hiss, trying to keep your voice down. Yeah, you weren’t shy about potentially clocking this guy in the chin if he tried anything, but you still didn’t want to cause a scene. Not when Mare was wrapping up his gig, so close to finally coming offstage and continuing his date with you. “I already told you: I’m. Not. Interested. If you were half the guy you think you are, you would’ve left me alone after the first time.”

Mr. Bug-Eyes gave a melodramatic sigh, and a sickeningly sweet smell permeated the air around you. It almost instantly caused the first stage of a migraine to flare along the bridge of your nose. You shook your head, blinking as your eyes grew watery way faster than necessary.

A chill raced down your spine as you registered the weight of a hand on your head, ruffling your hair.

You jerked back, slapping it away. “Get away from me!”

The quick motion, combined with the smell, caused you to lose your balance. However, instead of collapsing onto the floor, you felt yourself being caught. Despite your now hazy vision, it took no time at all for you to recognize the colorful tattoos adorning your rescuer’s arms.

Relief sliced through the awful type of adrenaline that was thrumming through your head.

From there, things moved pretty fast.

The environment around you was a blur as clouds of dark violet smoke poured from Mare’s eyes, from his mouth, through his skin itself.

Mare guided one of your arms to rest along his shoulder, helping you to keep up with his pace.

Cool nighttime air rushed past the two of you; you almost didn’t notice the deep whooshing sound of a heavy glass door being swung open.

And before you knew it, you were suddenly sitting down again. The weight of Mare’s arm was still around your waist.

“Deep breaths. Take deep breaths,” Mare coached. There was a slight echo in his voice; his pitch seemed a bit all over the place. That always seemed to happen whenever he had too much energy, good or bad.

You nodded, following those instructions. You raised a hand to knead at your temple. Then, after a moment of scrubbing at your eyes, you realized that you were now in a completely different part of the downtown area. If memory served, you were now a far distance away from Holy Water Distilling Co.

“Are you okay?” Mare asked, keeping a firm yet gentle hold on your hand.

You finally looked over at him. His eyes were pitch-black, the purple tear tracks on his face now branching out like veins or tree roots. His skin had turned a deathly shade of gray; if you looked closely enough, you could almost see the shapes of his teeth and skull through the barrier.

Despite his obvious anger, concern and fear were still present in his features.

“I’m okay. I’m okay,” you eventually reassured him. Your head still felt a little funny, but now that you were away from the scent, your senses were much clearer. You didn’t hesitate to hug him, resting your head on his shoulder. He returned the gesture tenfold, sighing.

The minutes dragged along, but you didn’t mind.

“Whoever that idiot was, I think I’m gonna have to kill him,” Mare murmured after you pulled away. The edge in his voice had died down a bit, and his features were slowly but surely turning less ghoulish, but his eyes remained dark.

“I won’t stop you,” you hummed, having long-since grown accustomed to his more monstrous side, “but could that wait a bit? Just until tomorrow?”

Mare squinted at you, understandably incredulous.

You shrugged. “I mean, you seemed really excited about the movie. The screening’s supposed to start in about. . .” You glanced down to check the clock on your phone, “. . .twenty minutes from now, I think.”

Mare’s eyes widened as a surprised snicker escaped his lips. “Priorities, priorities.”

You tilted your head as you rose from the sidewalk bench. “Consider it your reward for rescuing the damsel in distress.”

“Well, when you put it like that. . .” Mare was quick to follow, locking arms with you as you began strolling together.

#the edgelord gets fed #writing requests #my writing #my stories #natemare #nathan sharp #natewantstobattle #lyxie/lyx #tw eating/drinking #tw slight physical violence #tw body horror #tw alcohol

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fancyfade · 6 months

Note

Hi I read your post about the bat boys dynamics, now how the fandom been handling it for years been pissing me off as someone in a blended family.

Now I have a step-turned adopted brother, him and I meet when he was 4 and I was 9. We’re currently estranged, but for the most part it took me….I want to say a year to see him as my brother properly. Not saying I hated him, but to form a bond.

Now the problem with the bat boys, well I want to say Damian histories with them in general. Is writers BARELY gives depth into their bonds and most of the time it seem meaningless. Vs how you and even Arabian batboy pointed out how their bonds with female characters seem more fleshed out as the writers put effort in making their bonds…for the most part…looking at you Williamson.

I am no eugenic, but there a difference between my bond with bio sister vs my bonds with adopted siblings

My issues is how the Batfamily fandom try to force a nuclear family dynamic into the Batclan…when writers clearly show that half of the time they see them as a militia vs a found family.

Oh and the writers personal bias, like in Gotham war where Tim told Damian he always saved Bruce vs the latter only fighting him….is there any goddamn archives at dc for writers to check up on characters lore?

Sorry I just want to air this out, because this bat brothers fanon been driving me up the wall. They are brothers on paper, but none of them are each other keepers if that make sense?

I think it makes sense. I'm sorry to hear about your estrangement.

And yeah a lot of time fandom wants to act as if the fact that they're all adopted (or biologically related) to Bruce on paper means that they'd have the exact same relationship people might have if they grew up together in the same house, but like... that's a drastically over-simplified thing. like i remember getting into an argument* with someone who was adamant that Damian should fanboy or look up to Tim b/c Tim is his older brother and people do that stuff IRL. But like... a) not everyone does b) Damian did not actually live in the same house as Tim, his dynamic was not the same as someone who grew up with an older brother, they clearly had many canon interactions indicating the opposite!

and also like: Obviously you shared your experience with how long it took you to form a bond, and realistically it would also take Damian time to form a bond. If his interactions are antagonistic, like they are with Tim, it would take work for them to get close, and panel time we do not see. This isn't to say they can't consider each other brothers, we see evidence at least Tim considers Damian his little brother and Damian's no longer antagonistic to him** and respects him some, but they definitely wouldn't have a super close bond like we see Damian have with Maya or Dick.

And yeah so many of the writers have personal bias its cringe to read. Except like. I have never seen Tim portrayed really negatively in Damian's comics. In general, it's to put Damian down. I analyzed it in general here (link)

And like. WRT personal experiences I'm sure there are some people who view their adopted siblings as similar to their bio siblings... but also WRT not simplifying everything -- that doesn't mean it's the same for everyone, and it definitely doesn't mean that that means every single Batfam member who is adopted by Bruce has the same relationship that people who are all raised in the same house in general at the same time, since they were babies might have. Like it'd be oversimplifying and trying to flatten out dynamics to act as if that's how it did happen.

Also if you are the same blended family anon as earlier, I do want to say I got a long anon ask from you ages ago but forgot to answer it sorry :C then I couldn't tell if too long had passed and it was weird to answer it

*act surprised, I was in an argument /j

**current canon shows more evidence for Tim being antagonistic to Damian than vice versa.

#anon #ask #idk #dc comics #batfam #damian wayne

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daisydezem · 5 months

Text

Irl stuff

So what's been going on... I'll put it under the cut since it might be triggering for some. It's about hospital, surgery, breakup/divorce and all that comes with it.

Let's start with the surgery and the hospital. It all went very well! The removed the uterus without any problem. I noticed the lack of cramp pain right away. It was such a good relief! In the hospital things got on so well I didn't need to say 2 nights but just the 1! But here on... the other stuff started. While in the hospital I got a lot of texts of friends, family and coworkers. All saying good luck, get well soon and love you and stuff like that. But my (ex)partner only said: hope you sleep well, I'll pick you up the day after tomorrow. That was it. No call to check in, no love you, nope... just a see you in two days. I texted back that I was okay to come home earlier and he said... oh. While being home he took a week off to help me get along.... well sorta. The mood was gone and even made our son sick. I really tried to always be positive and support, but after a week and a half (on Friday) and our son looking at the clock every hour, it was enough. I asked him to go. He did and he was gone for the whole weekend. I was upset, the little one was upset but we made it through the weekend. What pissed me off was a text saying if the little one felt a need to see or talk to him and if so that he didn't know what to say. Then Monday I got a text in the group of his family... Saying things were over that we talked about it and he wasn't confused or anything else, saying some might think he picked the easy way out now that I was recovering... This was all without me knowing, without talking about it or consent sent to not only his family, but also to my mom, stepdad, dad, stepmom, sisters, brother, aunts and uncles, friends.... everyone. On a Monday at 2pm in a school vacation week... So everyone called me up to find out what was going on while the little one was sitting next to me. This was for me the final straw. No matter what he did now, it won't be able to fix that moment. More happened now. And before more happened too. I don't want to get into it all. But yeah... it was and is a lot. Now I have to move out with the little one but can't right away since the housing market is just too awful. I'm lucky that he will have to pay me a lot to move out but still. Until June the situations is this: The little one stays in the house always and my ex and I move every week. I got the uneven weeks in the house with the little one and then the even weeks I live at my mom's place. I have however recovered fully from the surgery and am able to get return to work 100% as of upcoming week. I just have to change my hours. I used to do late/night shifts. Now I'll have to do early shifts in the uneven week. I also won't be taking my pc or any other stuff with me to my parents place so I won't be able to be online half of the time, but that's the least of my problems atm. I just... have to adjust my whole life. Just that:p But hey I'll be okay, even better We (the little one and me) will be okay. I have a plan just need to see if it will work out. If it does I'll be living in a very full house in June but more on that later. Sorry for the long post and thanks to anyone who reads it. I'm always open to talk more about it but not in a online for everyone to see post. Kusjes en Liefde Kisses and Love -Daisy

#nonsims #personal

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deathbydarkelves · 10 days

Note

Asking you this on anon, because I'm too nervous to ask otherwise.

Do you think night elves express their sexuality through art? I mean like, Blizzard is obviously not going to give us anything concrete or creative about this sort of thing. Their night elves are eternally monogamous.

But so many cultures in the world, even the ones we like to think of as stoic, or chivalrous, were, and are, incredibly horny lol. Like, there are swathes of surviving manuscripts, pottery, and paintings depicting sex acts. We have examples of this from the Greeks, to Medieval Europe, to Japan.

I'm so sorry, this ask sort of away from me. In short, all of the Warcraft races probably have their unique art forms, and I was just curious if, and how, you would think night elves would express this sort of stuff?

My immediate verbal response upon reading this was “Oh, abso-fucking-lutely”. As you demonstrated with your irl examples, horny is universal <3

You’ll find that indulged in every art form. Paintings, pottery, poetry, carvings, statues, and so on. If people can create an image or use words to describe something, they’re gonna use that power to depict sex. That’s just how it goes lmao

Some more specific thoughts though:

1.) Elven poems and ballads are rivaled in length only by those of the dwarves. And yes, many are sexually-charged in at least some aspect. Sometimes that’s the whole point, sometimes it’s a key plot moment, sometimes it’s a “key” “plot” “moment”, sometimes it’s just for comedic effect.

2.) I recently took a trip to Europe which involved a stop in Vienna, and I had a fantastic time strolling through such a beautiful (walkable!) city with statues of bare-chested women on almost every corner. Both because it was a wonderful feeling being somewhere that didn’t treat my body as taboo, and, well, because I’m lesbian. What can I say. Anyway, I decided almost immediately that’s what it’s like in the bigger night elf cities. The body is a work of nature and Elune’s art, and is something to be celebrated. That goes for all bodies, but there is a general bias towards depictions of female bodies because, well, matriarchal society. Most of the statues in those cities are simply artistic nudity, but it doesn’t take long to find one that goes beyond that. ((btw I highly recommend a visit to Vienna. Get a Sacher-Torte from Café Sacher.))

3.) Tangentially related, but (ethical) brothels are more commonplace and fairly easy to find because of the societal acceptance of polygamy/amory. Casual sex is just not really a taboo, because there’s no pressure to be monogamous. Historical immunity to disease and current resistance to it means there isn’t as much risk involved either. It’s still a dick move if you don’t tell your partner(s), of course.

4.) All of this creates quite the culture shock for those coming from more “conservative” places. No one on Azeroth is catholic about it, but I have a hard time imagining the high and mighty Kingdom of Stormwind being that open about sexuality, for example.

5.) Because of the impression that ^ creates, there's a common joke/stereotype in many other nations that the Sentinel Army has a... hook-up problem. Never mind that's true to some degree for all armies lol

6.) Cathala’s adventuring journal she keeps notes in is also fucking filled with erotic art and writing. A woman’s gotta entertain herself somehow!!!

As a little note, though, there's no weirdness around ace and/or aro people. They're not any hornier than any other group of people, they're just more open about it. So they don't try to, like, force it onto people who happen to not be into that.

Anyway... I'll be the first to admit this is where I lean the hardest into wish fulfillment/escapism with my AU. Oh to live in a world where sex and sexuality and the female body are treated normally V_V

#ask box #au lore

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verdantvulpus · 7 months

Note

Hii!

Found you here after reading Friends with benefits series on AO3. You are the queen and I loooove you writing!

My question is about the Separation Anxiety part. Will you continue updating the story?

Thanks!

Yes! Absolutely!

I screwed myself over a bit when I originally blocked out the chapters because it turns out I'm balls at following a script. Half of Seperation Anxiety is already somewhat written because it happened on the twitter RP accounts. So much character growth happened for the book boys there that most of my readers never got to see. Now I can't write TTWBAD2 without addressing this gap because the book boys are in a much different place than they were at the end of TTWBAD. Trust me when I say TTWBAD2 needs to start with them all in a better position or it's gonna be an angstier story than what I want to I write...

So I took out a spreadsheet and figured out what key scenes were needed and then tried to shoehorn some tv boy stuff in there to bring them along for the ride aaaaaannnnnd can you believe it didn't work?!?

So after many conversations with my very patient beta reader, then periods of me hiding or wallowing because I didn't follow the advice of my very patient beta reader, I'm finally understanding that I can't plan these chapters out. I need to let it grow organically. It means letting go of the exact path the twitter book boys took, while still holding to the spirit of it, and to stop overthinking it.

The other end of things was that IRL got banger nuts this summer and only went GANGER FUTS in September when I was told I had 2 months to complete my Scouter training instead of my promised 12 (!!!)

Then I promised myself some stuff for Patreon in October that I've already had to widdle down. Then, last week, I got a head cold which turned me into a literal puddle of goo, incapable of writing or drawing due Tommy lack of cohesive form.

But GOOD NEWS

It turns out I'm further ahead in my Scouter training than I thought and I don't have to panic after all (long story), and it turns out I was doing Inktober-esque collections backwards and working too hard (long story (of my life)) and here's the best part!!

I'm visiting my parents in New Brunswick this week for Thanksgiving (Canada) and this means I'll be away from my very big (and very distracting) drawing tablet. I'm using this downtime to get back to writing and letting the story happen however it wants. With any luck I'll update soon with a story and nonsensical and meandering as this answer to your ask!

(sorry for the nonsensical and meandering answer.)

P.s. if you're one of the ppl recently commenting on my fics, thank you! I'm terrible at answering comments but they've really helped me chip away at my mental block

#ttwbad #asks #writing woes #the idiocy will not be controlled

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the-fiction-witch · 6 months

Text

Rip

Media IRL

Character TBS

Couple TBS X Reader

Rating Cute

I yawned trying desperately to stay awake,

"You can sleep you know, we won't land for another couple hours, have a nap" Thomas told me

"I don't like sleeping on planes," I said unable to stop another yawn

"Sleep. Go on I'll wake you if anything happens"

"You sure?"

"Yeah go on don't worry I'll look after you," he says

"Thanks, thomas" I smiled I did my best to get comfortable and get some rest but I couldn't I just found myself squirming in my seat

"Here" he spoke up grabbing his jacket and putting it over me like a blanket "That better?"

I smiled the jacket was so soft and cosy I nodded and did my best to get cosy with it but I was still struggling but without another word, he pulled me to lean my head on his shoulder

"There, that better?"

"Yeah thanks, Thomas" I smiled nuzzling closer and soon enough I drifted off to sleep I hadn't actually slept so well in ages nor since before we started shooting months back mostly because I'd been on hotel beds and trailer mattresses which is not good for sleeping

"Hey, hey... Wakey wakey" I heard his voice muttering and I quickly sat up noticing I had really been asleep and I had even slightly drooled down my chin

"Oh my god- I am so sorry"

"Don't worry about it, you needed to sleep. I kinda forget most people can't just fall asleep whatever like I can" he laughed "I did nap with you for a bit though I'm not gonna lie"

"Did you?"

"Yeah you looked so cosy, I just rested my head on you and that's it I was out"

"You really can sleep anywhere?"

"I once slept on my motorbike"

"How-"

"It was parked. But still. I was doing Christmas shopping in Oxford Street which is a bad idea in general and I was super jet lagged yeah I just laid myself in the fuel tank and I honestly slept for about three hours. Apparently, the guy in the shop was about to call someone he thought I was dead"

"I'm not great at falling asleep. Anywhere that's not my bed"

"Ohh, you must struggle filming away then?"

"It's not fun, how long till we land?"

"About ten-twenty minutes"

"Ohh my-"

"I wanted to let you sleep"

"Thank you Thomas" I smiled

"Have you tried bringing your pillow with you? To help you sleep? you know Dylan does that"

"Yeah I tried that doesn't help plus you look crazy carrying a pillow through an airport"

"True." He laughed

Soon enough we landed and gathered our stuff heading together so we could keep chatting but I noticed something just beyond the next doors

"What?"

"Shit."

"Ohh fuck. Just stick close to me we'll be alright" he says

I did my best to stay close to him but that wasn't easy as the crowd of the press had formed and clearly had intentions they crowded us and I did my best just to keep my head down ignoring the shouting, the flashes, and how uncomfortably close many of them were. I kept pushing people away as their cameras and hands just felt so close I was nervous I'd hit them as I walked or something worse, by now they had managed to separate us even if Thomas did look back to find me and I gave him a nervous look he managed to move back a little and offered his hand through the madness which I quickly took as they got closer and more aggressive the noise and flashing now hurt my eyes I felt so scared of these men and there cameras as they got so close to me leaving me little space to breathe let alone anything else especially as I was wearing a dress. Thomas saw I was uncomfortable and tried to pull me through faster but the moment he did I heard this unmistakable rip.

I froze my blood running cold, he clearly saw too as first his face read of shock, then anger.

One of the photographers in an attempt to get closer grabbed the back of my dress causing it to rip exposing my legs, and my panties the Rip so far up my back you could see my bra.

Immediately I screamed and every camera flashed quickly trying to get the scoop.

I was utterly paralyzed but Thomas quickly wrapped his jacket around me and pulled me through where security was waiting to help quickly ushering us to a security room without any windows to give us privacy and protection.

I sat doing my best not to burst into tears, thomas paced around the room utterly fuming muttering things to himself

"He's lucky I didn't break his fucking hand. or his camera. fucking cunt" until he saw me "Sorry y/n. are you okay?" He asked and the moment he did I couldn't hold back my tears he quickly pulled me into his chest kissing the top of my head and doing his best to soothe me "It's okay, you're okay. so long as you're not hurt that's all I'm worried about"

The door opened and we both jumped but luckily it was just one of the assistants for the press tour with our bags,

"Okay talked with security, and they have assorted the press out, we have been told from security they are crowding most of the exits but they have explained they can get a secure car around to a different less popular exit they can't guarantee no press but less" She explained

"We have any other way of getting out of the airport?" thomas suggested

"Other than getting on another plane"

"Okay, are you gonna be okay?" he asks

"Yeah, I'm just going to feel worse the longer I stay"

"Alright, I'll give you a chance to get changed" He nodded heading out with the assistant a moment so I opened my bag and got myself some other clothes even if I felt so horrible, once I was dressed the security helped us through another part of the airport sneaking us through until we got outside and quickly got into a blacked-out car "You okay?"

"I think so" I nodded

"Come here" He says pulling me onto his shoulder and keeping his arm around me

"Okay we have a bit of a problem" the assistant spoke up

"What?" He asks

"The press have found the hotel and are swarming like a plague of locusts"

"Is there at least a back entrance they can get us into?"

"Just finding that out"

Immediately I felt nervous

"It's okay. I'm gonna take care of you" He reassured

"There is a back door they use for staff they said they can let us in through there but they have already had to throw five guys out for roaming the halls looking for what room she's in"

"Fuck. Okay... how many rooms do we have booked at the hotel?"

"Three."

"Okay, get us in the back we can hold up in my room until these vultures calm the hell down."

"Okay that's the plan" she explained

"Don't worry I'll keep you safe. I promise"

#thomasbrodiesangster #tbs imagine #tbs imagines #tbs smut #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster #tbs #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster smut

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prettywon · 2 years

Text

MAiL (33): FUXK

warnings: NOT an accurate representation of track, idfk how it works irl but uh. we (I) will make it work!

wc: 1.7k

a/n: GOD I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG IM SO SORRY NFKWK SORRY!!!

a/n 2: HII I'm on summer break now so I got my shit together and finished this huehuehue

Sunghoon stared at his small handheld mirror, checking for anything imperfect about his appearance. He adjusted a strand of hair. He did some push ups to make sure his muscles were in prime condition. He did vocal exercises to make sure his voice wasn't raspy. Hell, he even practiced drinking water at the right angle so you could see his jawline at its best.

Despite all of his efforts, Sunghoon felt under prepared.

Jake was right, Sunghoon was the most loved boy on campus, why should he be nervous? It was just you, just the person who's been sending him letters and who he's pinned after for several years without knowing who you are. Calming his heart, Sunghoon gently clasped the small necklace that rested on his collarbone. Taking a deep breath, he stepped outside of the locker room and was met with the track team, and you. Feeling his throat catch as he tried saying hello to Heeseung, he hurriedly rushed inside to drink more water.

Maybe he wasn't as ready to see you as he thought he was. Steadying his breathing once again, he convinced himself to act natural as he finally stepped outside, just as you finished giving a rundown of all the shots you wanted to take. "Hey everyone," Sunghoon noticed Heeseungs glare, "sorry Hee." Finally looking at you up close, he felt like he was on cloud nine. You were the one sending him letters. Taking a breather, he started warming up with the other guys.

At first the meeting went by slowly and to be frank, was rather dull. Sunghoon was not here for it. He half expected you to be staring at him nonstop, not the other way around. Truth be told, you were speaking to Heeseung more than he would like to admit. Was this an elaborate prank Heeseung planned? No it can't be that— Heeseung? Planning something? Unheard of.

Sunghoon must've looked more bothered than he realized as Yeonjun laughed at his despair. "You're too obvious for your own good Sunghoon" Yeonjun finished warming up and patted Sunghoons back before he was on his way to run a few laps around the basketball court while waiting for everyone else. Before Sunghoon could let out a snarky remark, you walked over to him, very much due to the persuasion of Heeseung. Trying not to be as obvious as Yeonjun claimed he was, Sunghoon grew an even stronger interest in stretching.

"Sunghoon, is it alright if I take a few shots of you during practice? It's stupid but I need your consent for stuff like this" Hearing you call his name sent memories of everything that happened flowing through Sunghoons mind. Well, flow isn't the right word, it was more like a flash flood. He blanked, and before he could stop himself asked, "Yeah it's fine, but can you meet me after this? I need to tell you something"

Shit.

20 minutes have passed. Twenty excruciating minutes. Sunghoon watched as you laughed, took pictures, and (most importantly) paid attention to his teammates. The worst part? You haven't talked to Sunghoon once in those one hundred and twenty minutes. Sunghoon was hot, sweaty, and in perfect condition for him to absolutely wow you. So why the hell weren't you talking to him?

The reality for you was sad, in all honesty. You were nervous, scared even, and didn't want to talk to him after he so ominously asked to talk to you after the meet. But you knew Sana and Riki would be out for you if you didn't get any pictures of him, so you swallowed your nerves and walked up to Sunghoon.

Sunghoon has never felt so happy in his life. Finally, a proper conversation with you. "Sunghoon is it alright if I take shots of you running?" Running. Running? Look, Sunghoon knows he's on track and all. But running? How was he supposed to impress you with his muscles if he was running too fast for you to see him properly? How was he supposed to flex his jawline with him gasping for air? Sunghoon was having a midlife crisis before he reached his thirties.

Breathing in a sigh, Sunghoon smiled and nodded, heading over to the track field to do some laps. Glancing over to you one more time, your camera eagerly waiting to take shots of him, he sprinted. You jogged in front of him at a slower pace, but you were still able to take shots even Taehyun would be proud of. For the most part at least. You did catch yourself staring more than actually taking pictures, and that's probably why the world went spinning.

Prioritizing the camera over your physical well being, you wrapped your body around it, with nothing softening your fall. When you hit the damp grass, you felt stupid for falling in front of your crush. This embarrassment only deepened when Sunghoon kneeled down next to you, gently prying the camera away from you. You had scraped your knees, and you were bleeding a bit, enough for you to limp when walking.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Sunghoon tenderly examined your knee as he placed the camera on the ground, his eyes filled with such concern that it made you swoon. If it weren't for the fact that your knee was burning with the heat of a thousand suns. "Yeah I'll be alright, I'll just go to the nurse's real quick" You gently tried standing up, wincing slightly, and almost fell down again.

Almost.

Sunghoon caught you, and it was as if the world had stopped. As if your knees and palms weren't bleeding, Sunghoons sweat wasn't dripping onto your forehead, and you couldn't smell how much he absolutely reeked. Every imperfection in this moment was gone.

Until it wasn't. The pain was unforgiving and had you grimace beyond your control. Sunghoon said something to the other track runners, you couldn't hear what it was no matter how much you tried. Maybe the heat finally got to you, or the awkwardness between you and Sunghoon, or how you had a big test coming up in math that you needed to study for, but you felt yourself go limp.

What a great way to properly meet your crush.

***

You woke up to air conditioning, your greatest comfort. And Sunghoon, which you guessed was your second greatest. Your camera was in his hands, and he didn't realize you had woken up yet. "I'm sorry," you started, "for not getting that many pictures of you" you weakly mumbled and laughed. Sunghoon's head perked up, quickly wiping his eyes of tears.

"No, I..." Sunghoon looked down again, heart hammering in his chest, "nevermind, are you feeling better?" his head gently raised, making eye contact with you. You dully nodded and looked around the room to avoid the tense atmosphere. You felt a hand grab yours, the sensation you felt matched the warmth you felt in front of the soda machine so long ago. “Do you,” you tightened your grip on his hand, “do you know?” No other words were exchanged. Your sight was shifted from the nurse bed, and now you had a full-view of the boy you had sent letters to for so long. To think that there was a time you believed you didn’t like him.

Warmth bloomed in Sunghoon’s chest, this was the moment he had anticipated for so long. He had to do it now, or he'd never muster the courage again. And so, he leaned in. Every moment registered in your mind, the movement of his hand as he held your chin, how your heartbeat raced faster than he could during any track race, and how sparks flew every second between you two. And finally, your lips connected with his.

Just like everything else in your relationship with Sunghoon, the kiss was slow. But you wouldn’t want anything else in the world. Your eyes closed, using the rest of your senses to register and comprehend the boy in front of you. Your hands snaked around his neck, fingers intertwining with each other, deepening your embrace.

Heeseung opened the door.

Never in your life have you pulled away so quickly. Sunghoon? Red in the face. You? Also red in the face. Heeseung? Laughing his ass off with a shit eating grin from ear to ear. With a whistle, Heeseung left the door open as he skipped back into the halls, visibly on Twitter. As Sunghoon stood to close the door after him, you cleared your throat. Now what. "Sorry about him" Sunghoon looked down, finally returning to your side.

"How long?" You fumbled with your fingers, "To be honest, like 3 hours" Sunghoon flashed a smile. "I accidentally took someone's medicine the night of the party and stuff just kept on happening" Sunghoon leaned back into his chair and sighed.

"So, does this mean I won't have to send you letters anymore?"

"I still want you to, just give them to me in person from now on" the boy gave you a wink and stood up to greet the nurse who had just walked into the room, smiling as he left for you to spill the details of what just occured to the school nurse.

---

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a/n: AHHHHH MAIL IS FINALLY DONE. gosh remember when I said I would finish mail by spring break LMFAOO more like summer break sheesh 😰. My inactivity is 100% mb, last quarter of school hit me hard. I thank everyone for sticking with MAiL to the end. And now, onto the next Sunghoon smau (latte) look out for the new masterlist after the epilogue!!

taglist (CLOSED): @ddeonuism @ja4hyvn @primorange @kyleeanne @miwonie @c9tnoos @nekkodiaries @killyoselff @kingkaithekiwi @liliansun @nyfwyeonjun @sunshine-skz @hoewithnojams @acciomylove @luvrseung @fairycheol @jejenono-ren @i2gyus @chirokookie @uauznaixla @verifiedsunghoonsimp @hotgirlsunoo @luvddeonu @enhacolor @mochisnlix @jjeongjjeongie @annoyingbitch83 @mykalon @hobistigma @kac-chowsballs @nnasheii @tobiosbbyghorl @stoatwashere @hoonstrology @zorrilloberry @abdiitcryy @baekhyunstruly @sheepgardenenha @squiishymeow @sbnchaos @solarswonderland @ily-cuz-i @fairydosii @yizhoutv @missmadwoman @cloudykyu @rinhyun @cosmiclele @sebongajju @yogurteume @hoon4life @mavlogist

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hybbart · 1 year

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May I request you draw some empires s1 flower husbands I Miss them so much( ps your jimmy design is adorable)

First of all thank you very much! Now, I have actually drawn a little sketch for you. But I'm gonna put it in another post cause I just wanted to use this ask to say a couple things so it doesn’t get bogged down by this, cause this happens to touch close to some topics I wanted to mention for a while now but my brain has a hard time letting me just make permanent text posts on this blog specifically since it's supposed to be for my art.

Long post so I'm putting it below the read more. Sorry if this seems like an inappropriate reply, I really just don’t know how or where else to say these things.

TL;DR: I've given myself strict rules on what I'll personally depict in my mcyt art, I'm not actually fond of flower husbands or Jimmy and Scott's dynamic in general (adore both of them individually though), and I still don't really know much about e1 outside of Lizzie so have 3rd life instead.

First thing is something I probably shoulda said a long time ago cause I've gotten a few asks about drawing explicitly romantic or sexual stuff, but I don't intend to draw either of those things. I have a big difference between what I'm comfortable consuming and what I'm comfortable making myself. I gave myself a lot of personal boundaries when decided to draw mcyt stuff based on my own comfort.

Rule 1 is no sexualization or gore, basically keep things in the realm of the same rating as the hermits.

Rule 2 is that my designs would only be based on skins, lore, and fanon, and never anything around their irl selves.

Rule 3 is not to draw anything that was more than interpretive in relation to romantic vs platonic.

Rule 0.5, the only exceptions to be made would be for references to gags they themselves have made in videos.

I know some of my stuff pushes against the line on these rules, especially for jokes or replying to asks that use shipping terms, but they're ones I don't intend to ever fully cross with my own art. There's a lot of other amazing artists on here who are more comfortable with drawing that stuff.

So if you ever send in a request for art just know that ones that push against or cross these rules to me, I'm going to skip over them. Not anything against the request it's just my own rules. Sometimes I also just don't get to them, but I'd appreciate those rules being kept in mind when requesting.

Second topic starts with a bit of a story. So, I got introduced to the life series through a Grian animation that popped up when I was in my more standard annual hermitcraft phase. The first thing I watched of the life series was thus Grian's videos of 3rd life and double life very out of order and jumping all over the place.

Cause of that the very first thing I ever saw in relation to flower husbands was after Jimmy was already dead, and it was Scott talking about how his husband is dead after the desert war, telling Grian "see this is why I don't trust Jimmy with anything, because he's incompetent. I did warn you all." and it never really recovered from that first impression for me. It actually took me a long time to figure out it was more than a one off joke to call him his husband, cause it felt like every time I saw a scene with Scott he was just insulting Jimmy or begrudgingly putting up with him in a not very funny way. I really do not vibe with them as the flower husbands cause of that.

(That said I do adore both of them separately, and they are very entertaining as exes. Scott's just a lot more enjoyable as part of GGG and the divorcees, and I am very susceptible to the 'Jimmy bullying joke didn't quite land and I'm now just uncomfortable' low tolerance problem.)

Third is, I have actually watched an empires 1 pov now! Yay! But it was Lizzie's and there honestly isn't all that much related to them in her pov. There was actually not nearly as much related to others as I expected in general. Still loved it but didn't provide much is far as context for the season as a whole. Plus I'm unhappy with Scott's design for it and wanna redesign it. So basically I drew them from 3rd life instead.

#ask #notes

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iamthecomet · 25 days

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I can say I'm not the type to send hate. However sometimes I get mean or sarcastic and people miss the joke. I've been blocked for shipping the characters that I ship and writing the tropes that I do. Which is just annoying because the very same people who block me are the ones talking about my stuff behind my back 😅🤣

Being on the internet is really hard sometimes. What I try to tell myself when I realize someone has blocked me, is that, they are allowed to curate their own internet experience. Not everyone is going to like what I do, or what I say, or how I write what i write. That's ok. I cannot make everyone happy. I shouldn't try. I get to be me, they get to be them, if we can't meet in the middle then that's ok. We don't have to. It takes all kinds to make the world work. What ISN'T cool is blocking someone and then bitching about them where they could still potentially see it. The internet really is like high school sometimes and I'm sorry that people are talking about your work like that behind your back in a way that means you know it's happening. I can't tell you that people shouldn't talk about you--people are people man and that's what they do. Should they be more discreet about it? yes. Should they try not be total assholes? Absolutely. People forget sometimes that even people who make things we don't like are still people. I absolutely get you about the mean/sarcasm bit too. I'm from the North Eastern USA, which is a place where people are known for being sort of cold, and unwelcoming, and sarcastic. It isn't just a stereotype (at least not in my irl community). So, online, I have to work really hard to remember tone tags, or to only talk in that sort of obnoxious, sarcasm, sort-of-mean way to people who know me well enough to know I don't mean it negatively. But that means that when I started talking to people on the internet I agonized about EVERYTHING I said, because I didn't want to accidentally make a joke that didn't land. It's hard to read tone on the internet, and not everyone is equipped with the same social skills or understands the same cues. It feels awful to be misunderstood--and to accidentally hurt someone when you were absolutely not intentionally doing it. And, on the other hand, it doesn't feel great to feel like you're masking who you are to be accepted. There's a middle ground...it took me a long time to find it. We have to meet people where they are, where ever it is. And be good to each other. Like, yes it's fine to block someone if they create content that you are upset by, but there's a respectful way to do that (which involves not being mean about it, especially where the person might see it). Ship and Let Ship. Kink and Let Kink. Don't like; Don't read. You know, all those things. I'm sorry that it's been hard for you, just know I get it. But also, working on not dwelling on what other people like or dislike about you will make your life (on the internet and in real life) so much less stressful. It's hard, and some days it's impossible, but holy fuck is it worth it.

#comet comments #a response to this ask #but also just a general PSA about existing on the internet I guess

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