#I've never actually seen it but maybe I should it seems like totally my thing

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Deuce Spade - Rabbit Wear Vignette

"To be perfectly honest"

[Clock Town – Deuce's Home]

Ortho: I can't believe you have a fully equipped workshop next door to your home, Deuce Spade-san!

Ortho: Ehehe, I'm excited to think that I might be able to dress up like a white rabbit like everyone else.

Deuce: I didn't expect you to want to dress up like a white rabbit, Ortho.

Deuce: I really hope they'll let us borrow their 3D printer and materials…

Deuce: …Well, guess there's nothing else to do but ring the bell, then.

[buzzes intercom]

Workshop Owner: Yes, hello, who is it?

Deuce: Uh, it's Spade from next door…

Workshop Owner: Spade…? Wait, you're not… DEUCE!?

Deuce: Yes, sir. …It's been a long time.

Deuce: I apologize for this unexpected visit. I was wondering if perhaps we would be able to use some of the equipment you have in your workshop?

Deuce: Of course, we will fully reimburse you for its usage…

Workshop Owner: What did you say…?

Workshop Owner: YOU HAVE SOME NERVE ASKING THAT!

Ortho: EH!? This guy seems really angry…

Workshop Owner: You'd run around with all those punks, causing ruckuses in the middle of the night and destroying all sorts of things…

Workshop Owner: Do you even understand just how much pain and suffering you caused the people of this town?

Workshop Owner: Deila-san came to apologize for you so many times, but that doesn't mean squat here. Get out of here, already!!!

Deuce: I AM SO SORRY FOR ALL OF THE TROUBLE I CAUSED BACK THEN!!

Deuce: I know that I have no right to make this kind of request. But I really want to help my classmate make a rabbit costume!

Workshop Owner: Your classmate? What does my workshop have to do with their costume, in the first place…?

Ortho: Nice to meet you, I am Ortho Shroud. I'm a humanoid!

Ortho: I'm a classmate of Deuce-san at Night Raven College.

Workshop Owner: A h-humanoid?

Ortho: Yep! I really wanted a white rabbit outfit so that I could take part in the White Rabbit Festival…

Ortho: But I can't wear clothes like a living person can, so I want to make my own special gear to wear.

Workshop Owner: I've seen a few human-like robots in my time, but not one that can as eloquent as you!

Workshop Owner: And on top of that, you want to participate in Clock Town's famed White Rabbit Festival. Hmmm, what should I do…

Workshop Owner: Wait, nope, no way! If I let Deuce use my workshop, he'll totally destroy it!

Ortho: DEUCE SPADE-SAN WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!!

Deuce: Ortho…

Ortho: Do you truly believe that Deuce-san would actually come face-to-face to talk to you like this, hoping you'd let down your guard?

Ortho: THERE'S NO WAY DEUCE-SAN IS SMART ENOUGH TO COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF CUNNING STRATEGY!

Workshop Owner: …When you put it that way, I guess it's true that he used to just show up out of nowhere and just tear about.

Workshop Owner: Does that mean you guys truly came here to just ask for the favor of using my workshop?

Ortho: That's right! Please, mister! Please let us use your workshop!!

Workshop Owner: Sigh… Fine. Out of respect for the little humanoid boy, I'll let you use my workshop just this once.

Ortho/Deuce: THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

Workshop Owner: That doesn't mean I trust you, Deuce. Don't get me wrong.

Workshop Owner: If you get even one scratch on any of my machines, I won't let you get off so easy!!!

Deuce: I understand.

Workshop Owner: Tch… If word got out that I was letting someone like you in, that'd be bad for my own reputation.

Workshop Owner: You don't need to pay anything. Instead, just do what you came to do and leave as fast as you can.

Workshop Owner: Go and enter the shop from the rear entrance. You know where that is, right? Be quick about it.

[slams door]

Ortho: …Deuce Spade-san, are you alright? Even I can tell just from looking at you that you seem down.

Deuce: Maybe it's more… self-loathing than just being down.

Deuce: I enrolled in Night Raven College and have been aiming to be a model student, and I've been trying really hard with my club activities…

Deuce: I thought I had changed a ton, but that doesn't change my past, y'know?

Ortho: By the past, do you mean what he said about "running around with all those punks, causing ruckuses in the middle of the night and destroying all sorts of things"?

Deuce: Uhhhh… Please forget you heard about that! Also, I'd really like it if you didn't tell anyone else what happened just now.

Deuce: And my mom, too… I don't want to cause her any extra worry.

Ortho: Uh-huh, so it's that sort of thing. I got it. I can keep this a secret from the others.

Ortho: But in exchange, I'll have you help me with crating my new gear.

Deuce: Yeah, of course I will. Leave it to me.

Deuce: …But man, you're amazing, Ortho. I can't believe you persuaded him.

Deuce: You saw how angry he was, right? I totally thought he wouldn't let us use his workshop at all.

Ortho: I calculated that since he was running a blastcycle parts shop, then he'd probably have an interest in machines or robots.

Ortho: That's why I tried to appeal to him as a humanoid, to pique his curiosity.

Deuce: …Now that you mention it, I feel like his whole attitude changed when you mentioned you were a humanoid.

Deuce: …You calculated that, huh. I'm not really good at thinking and planning ahead.

Deuce: Even everything that happened just now is the result of me causing trouble for those around me without thinking things through back in middle school…

Ortho: Deuce Spade-san…

Ortho: You can do your thinking later! Right now, we need to get my gear done as quick as possible and go join the others!

Deuce: You're right, especially since he said to be quick about it… Let's hurry before he changes his mind!

[Clock Town – Clock Park]

Deuce: I sent [Yuu] a message saying where and when we're meeting up, but… They haven't read it at all.

Ortho: Maybe they haven't had the time to look at their phone, since Grim-san just keeps dragging them everywhichway.

Deuce: Can't be helped, guess we should go look for them. I wouldn't think they'd have gone that far, though...

???: NOM NOM NOM NOM!! Funyaaa～ I can't get enough of that strong flavor.

Ortho: Ah, that's Grim-san's voice. That saves us from having to search the whole park.

Deuce: Yeah, it helps that Grim's really loud.

Deuce: Heeey! [Yuu], Grim!

Grim: Hm? Oh, it's Deuce. Nice of you to come looking for me!

Deuce: Wrong! You're the one who ran off on your own, so we were all doing our own things right now.

Deuce: So, in about an hour, we're all going to meet up at the stall we were at earlier, okay? You better not be late.

1. I want you to show me around.

Deuce: Eh, me? Can I even do that…? But, sure, I guess. We can check out the area together.

2. We should wander around together!

Deuce: With me? …Yeah, okay!

Grim: Whew, that was delish～

Deuce: Looks like Grim just finished eating, too, so let's head off.

Deuce: [Yuu], is there something you want to see or do?

1. I want to look at souvenirs!

Deuce: I think I saw some stalls selling various stuff. Want to go check them out?

2. I want to move around some to help digest my food.

Deuce: I saw a stall a bit ago that had some kind of mini-game set up. Want to try it out?

Ortho: Sounds fun! I want to go with you guys too.

Deuce: Yeah, come along. That'll make it more lively and fun!

Deuce: They've got a ton of shops set up here, so the four of us can see all sorts of stuff!

[cheering on a street performer]

Grim: Nyahaha, that's so cool! That's way more amazing than Ace's magic tricks!

Deuce: You really like those street performances, huh. It looks like it'll go on for a little bit longer, but… Maybe we should move on now?

Grim: Ehhh, I want to keep watching.

Ortho: I haven't seen many street performances, so I think I'll stay and watch some more too.

Deuce: Okay. Then [Yuu] and I'll head off and check some other places out.

Deuce: We can meet up at where we were earlier when the time comes.

Grim/Ortho: Yeah! / Understood!

Deuce: Okay, then lets head over there.

Passerby A: Oh my, what cute outfits. Are you two from around here?

Deuce: Ah, yes, I'm from here.

Deuce: I just came home to visit with my classmates for the White Rabbit Festival…

Passerby A: Oh, so you're a Clock Town local. Then, I guess there's no need to warn you.

Deuce: Warn me? Eh, did something happen?

Passerby A: Well, not necessarily something, but… you know?

Passerby B: If you're from this city, then you should know, right? That there's been some bad characters running around.

Passerby A: It must have been what, 3… maybe 4 years ago? Anyway, a while ago, this terrible hooligan showed up.

Deuce: A terrible hooligan?

Passerby B: You never heard of them? Well, you two look like you were raised properly, so I suppose I'm not surprised you don't know.

Passerby B: There's this ill-tempered hooligan with bleach-blonde hair and a scary glare who'd ride up and down the city on their blastcycle at breakneck speeds.

Passerby A: I heard that whenever they got into a fight, they'd summon a cauldron and squash their opponents flat. Aah, so scary!

Deuce: URK!

Passerby B: I haven't heard anything about them recently, but… I can't imagine such a horrible hoodlum would've been able to fix their behavior.

Passerby A: Same. It was so bad that there even was a police officer who would always go on patrol even when off-duty.

Passerby A: Anyway, they are a troublesome delinquent. You two, take care so you don't get caught in their crosshairs.

Deuce: R-Right… Thank you.

Deuce: Whew, they finally left. Those ladies were really something.

1. That story just now… 2. Was that…

Deuce: Urgh, and I was trying to change the topic…

Deuce: Well, whatever. It's just you here, anyway.

Deuce: I think the person those ladies were talking about earlier was me.

Deuce: It's been a while since I enrolled in Night Raven College, but… I'm still being talked about.

Deuce: "I can't imagine they'd be able to fix their behavior" …Hm.

1. Even though we can see that's not true.

Deuce: Are you trying to cheer me up? Thanks, [Yuu].

2. It's hard to gain people's trust.

Deuce: You're right, it's just as you say.

Deuce: …Actually, I was told the same thing just a bit ago when Ortho and I went to the workshop next door to my house.

Deuce: I guess both the people who have met me before and those who haven't don't think that I could ever have fixed myself up.

Deuce: …But I have people outside of my family that believe in me.

Deuce: Remember what those ladies said? There was a police officer who would go on patrol even when they were off-duty.

Deuce: They worked over there… In the police station across the street from the park. And for some reason, they actually looked out for me.

1. Does that person still work at that police station?

Deuce: Nah, they transferred to a different city some time ago. I hear they've climbed the ranks and is some big wig now.

2. Let's go show them how much you've changed!

Deuce: As much as I'd like to… Deuce: They transferred to a different city some time ago. I hear they've climbed the ranks and is some big wig now.

Deuce: Isn't that awesome, though!? I wish I could have said bye to them back when they transferred, but… Back then I was just too hard-headed.

Deuce: I had decided that if I ever got to meet that person again someday, I would show them just how much I had cleaned myself up…

Deuce: But it hasn't really gone as planned.

Deuce: Even today, I wanted you guys to enjoy yourselves in my hometown…

Deuce: But I don't know anything about my city, and can't even show you around properly.

Deuce: And it wasn't until Epel said that I didn't have enough pride in my hometown, that I thought I should study up on the place…

Deuce: I thought I had changed, but maybe I haven't grown up after all.

1. That's not true… 2. (I don't know what to say...)

Deuce: Sorry! I didn't mean to talk about this sort of thing when we're at a festival.

Deuce: It's almost time to meet up with everyone else. Let's head back there.

[Clock Town – Clock Park]

―After the conflict with the Black Bunnies

Deuce: Okay, then I'll go register us, so everyone wait here.

Ortho/Epel: Got it.

Silver: Right.

Grim: I'll go with you. I worry leaving it to you alone, Deuce.

1. Yeah, I agree. 2. I'll go too.

Deuce: I don't know how I feel about Grim worrying about me, but… Thanks for coming with.

Deila: The registration for the Rabbit Run Race is near the entrance to the park.

Deila: All three of you, take care over there.

Deuce: There's the entrance to the park. Uhh, let's see, where's registration…?

Grim: Isn't that it?

Deuce: You're right… EH!?

Deuce: There's a line. There's a lot more people doing this than I thought there'd be…

Deuce: Well, whatever. Let's just line up at the very back.

???: WHAT SHOULD WE DO? AT THIS RATE, WE CAN'T REGISTER FOR THE RACE!

Grim: What's goin' on?

Workshop Employee: I thought I put it in my bag, but… My rabbit ears, where could I have left them?

Workshop Owner: Rabbit ears? Oh… Do you mean the headband that was left on the 3D printer back at the workshop?

Workshop Owner: Even if we were to run back to the shop now, we won't make it back in time to register...

Workshop Owner: It's a shame, but I guess we have to give up on participating in the race this year.

Deuce: On a 3D printer in the workshop… Ah, maybe it's the one I saw when Ortho and I were working on the printer just a while ago?

Deuce: Maybe… Maybe I can help her out with magic.

Deuce: I never got to thank him for using the workshop, either… I guess I can go talk to them.

Deuce: Ah, excuse me.

Workshop Employee: Yes? …Eek, Deuce-kun!?

Workshop Owner: Now what do you want? What, are you trying to harm my employee or something?

Deuce: No, not at all! I overheard that she left her headband, and…

Deuce: I'll summon it for you with magic! That way, you can register for the race, right?

Workshop Owner: You'll summon it with magic? Can someone like you who only has the brains to cause havoc really do something like that?

Deuce: I'm not that confident, but I think I can at least summon… But I still mess that up sometimes, too… But I'm going to try!

Grim: …I don't know how good this’ll go.

Deuce: Sh-Shut it! I have to focus, so be quiet.

Deuce: [inhale, exhale] …

Deuce: COME FORTH, RABBIT EAR HEADBAND!!

[rabbit ear headband magically appears]

Deuce: It's the same design as the one I saw in the workshop earlier. That means…

1. Congrats! 2. You did it!

Deuce: Yeah! I'm so glad it worked out.

Deuce: This is your headband, right? Please accept it.

Workshop Employee: …

Grim: This lady's completely frozen in her tracks… Maybe she's terrified of you!!

Deuce: Eh!? Oh no, is it because I just suddenly called out to you? Sorry, I shouldn't have done that…

Workshop Owner: I can't believe that that Deuce just successfully summoned something, and even took care to think of my employee's feelings…

[FLASHBACK]

Deila: Hey, listen to this! Deuce has been really motivated ever since enrolling in Night Raven College.

Deila: Just the other day, he sent me a picture of a certificate that he won as an award at a track meet.

Deila: It… does look like he's having a bit of a hard time with his studies and magic, though. But he's doing is best in the only way he knows how.

Deila: And recently, he's been really considerate, saying stuff like, "Aren't you tired?" and "Don't push yourself too hard"…

Deila: Sounds like he's made some good friends, too. I'm truly happy that he's enjoying himself every single day over there.

Workshop Owner: …Looks like Deila-san was telling the truth.

Deuce: Eh? Did my mom say something?

Workshop Owner: Yeah. She said that you had a change of heart and are doing your best now.

Deuce: My mom said that…?

Workshop Owner: Honestly, I couldn't believe that you actually cleaned yourself up, no matter what Deila-san said…

Workshop Owner: You've convinced me, Deuce. Thanks to you, my coworkers and I can enter the race.

Deuce: Since I couldn't thank you earlier for letting us use your workshop… I'm glad that I was able to be of help here.

Workshop Owner: Oh, don't worry, there's still a lot that you need to pay me back for.

Workshop Owner: But for today, you did good. Hey now, you thank him, too!

Workshop Employee: …Thank you for helping me. And, sorry for being scared of you!

Deuce: And I'm sorry for suddenly calling out to you and scaring you, too.

Workshop Owner: You're going to join the race too, right? Let's all do our best!

Deuce: YES, SIR!

Deuce: I "convinced" him… Huh.

1. You did it! 2. That's great.

Deuce: Yeah. I was worried that I hadn't matured at all, but… Thanks to that, I'm feeling a bit better.

Deuce: To be perfectly honest, I planned on just coming back here by myself.

Deuce: After swinging by to see my mom and the festival real quick, I was just going to jump on my blastcycle and go for a ride.

Deuce: If you, Grim or the others hadn't come with, I don't think I would have had a chance to talk with people in town.

Deuce: So… Uh, yeah, thanks for coming here with me!

Grim: Heheh, least I could do.

Deuce: For everyone who came here with me... And also for my mom, there's no way that I can lose this race.

Deuce: We'll definitely win! [Yuu], watch me go!

Requested by Anonymous.

#twisted wonderland #twst #deuce spade #epel felmier #ortho shroud #deila spade #twst deuce #twst epel #twst ortho #twst silver #twst grim #twst translation #twst white rabbit festival #mention: ace

[dinodinodin0]

Time to Get to Know Yourself

Pairing: Eddie Munson x bestfriend!reader

Warnings: angst, slight mentions of being cross-faded, fem!reader

part one part two part three - Part four of the The other woman series part five

You brought your fist to the door, and knock.

it opened.

"y/n?"

it was Eddie. he looked as surprised as you were worried, while his eyes were dark. they seemed, deeper. as if a million thoughts were bouncing around in his head before you'd knocked on his door.

were there even more now?

"hey.. I.. well I wanted to apologize… for last night. I'm not sure what exactly I said, but I know the gist and.. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have blown you off," you say, eyes darting everywhere but his eyes, fiddling with your hands.

"It's.. okay. I mean I wish you told me all of that when you weren't cross-faded out of your mind," he chuckled, ruffling your hair.

you look up at him, "can I come in?"

he nods and lets you pass. you plopped down on his couch and sighed, the air feeling thick as a layer of tension filled his trailer. he sat down next to you, twisting his rings deep in thought.

you speak, attempting to alleviate some tension, "so where's Wayne? isn't he still on the night shift?"

"yeah, he's actually hanging out at the bar with his friends right now. I'm glad because he would have had my head if he saw me skipping again. just.. needed to think somewhere where Dustin isn't going on and on about his nerd stuff- as admittedly cool as it is - and mike isn't being a total dickhead preteen," he jokes, staring into your eyes.

you watch as his expression softens for a second, before looking away and tensing up again. you've never seen him so preoccupied with something, apart from his campaigns. and this was a different concern.

you noticed how much his leg was bouncing, aswell.

"Can I ask.. what's got you thinking? like.. if it's something I had said to you?"

he bites his lip, assessing. he nods solemnly and begins to speak hesitantly.

"you.. you don't think I hate you right?" he says, brown eyes staring up at you needily. he looked genuinely worried about it, like it had been on his mind since last night. he looked like he desperately needed an answer, whether yes or no.

"no. I mean.. I don't think you hate me. I've just.. had some things I've been thinking about for a while," you sigh, slightly ashamed. you were ashamed you had them for so long but ashamed you blew up on him while you weren't sober.

he sighs, and some of both of your nerves relaxed.

"how long have you felt that way?"

you stopped, blushing a bright crimson red. Maybe he felt your eyes burning into him as you seemingly froze, but he chuckled.

"Sorry. Know it's probably not something you want to be out in the open like that, right?" he smiles reassuringly at you, "I'm… sorry you couldnt tell me. I mean, spent m'whole life trying to be your best friend and a safe space for you and I guess I've just been an added stress huh?"

"no! no.. don't think this is your fault, it isn't. I should have said something, I was just.. scared. I don't want to.. lose you. and if you're uncomfortable with me now I completely understand.."

he stops for a second, staring into your eyes. you stir, wondering what exactly he's thinking about. he sits closer to you, and places his hand on your cheek.

"You won't ever lose me, sweet girl. y'hear?"

for a moment, everything stood still. you were both smiling sweetly at each other, and though it was a prolonged amount contact, you didn't feel the need to look away or to sit back. it was just Eddie again.

you feel tears appear in the corners of your eyes, slowly running down your cheek.

he wipes them away and presses you to his chest, hugging you as tightly as he could.

"hey, hey it's okay. I promise. I'm sorry you've been harboring this for so long, you don't deserve that. I… I love you too."

...

"Ed's which towel can I use?" you hear a voice call out from the bathroom.

you slowly peak up, wiping your tears and staring past Eddie to the bathroom.

"Y/N, I know that probably sounds bad after right now but she just ended up staying at my house after, she didn't want her parents to know she-"

you sit up, not even bothering to look at him.

"i.. don't want to hear it. bye, Eddie. Tell Chrissy I said hi, okay?"

you smile and walk to his door, slowly opening it and walking out. you felt your knees attempt to buckle, but you soldiered on. you bit your lip harshly to keep it together.

You began to jog to your house, opening the door and releasing all of the hurt you had pent up.

"hun, whats wrong??" you mom prodded, running over to you and hugging you.

"He... doesnt care. you were right. He doesnt care about me anymore."

you mom looked at you briefly before hugging you tighter.

"i'm so sorry dear. Thats horrible, and just weird for him.. boys are stupid, sweetie. always will be, no way around it," she chuckled, patting you head and kissing the top of it.

after your sobbing subsided, your mom had advised you take a bath.

as you listened to the running water, you thought over your most recent moments with him. he was so sweet and reassuring, he even..

he even said he loved you.

why would he do that?

why was Chrissy there?

you know he tried to tell you, but you didn't want any excuses anymore. you just wanted to be by yourself, sinking into the warm water filling your bathtub.

as you relaxed, you heard you home phone ring multiple times in the next room. You also heard your mom telling the phone that you, 'didn't want to talk,' and you were grateful she wasn't taking his excuses either.

you looked at your hands, raising them above the water.

its time you learned how to be Y/N without eddie.

It's time you knew yourself a bit better.

staring at yourself, you noticed a beauty mark on your hand you never realized were there before.

you smelled the sweet air, and realized all of your candles were vanilla. You didn't realize you liked it so much.

you looked over your past interactions. despite being around certain people for so long, you were sure of yourself for the most part, and assertive. maybe you seemed mean, but realizing now why you were like that and that it was warranted, you were glad you were.

you were already noticing things about yourself apart from eddie.

a new beauty mark

your favorite scent

your own personality

you were excited to remove yourself from them. You have no more strings attached, no more puppet-master controlling your feelings anymore.

you smiled.

A/N: hey guys!!! dont worry, this isnt the end of this series. Y/N is just trying to find some self worth which they absolutely deserve. im so happy you all like this series so much, i really appreciate it :( this series has honestly been helping me get my mind off of things in my personal life, and seeing so many of you support me wether its with 900 notes or 100, is so important to me. thank you guys <3

tag list:  @rebelcthulhu @ietss @soclover3000 @mddieeunson @charliiexx @bambi-munson @nightless @creativedogs @erodahellfire @thecraziestcrayon @yourfavoritefangirl @eddiemunson4ever @televisionboy @kellysimagines @comic-harley @chloebeansack @estellaisaloser @mcueveryday @thegirlthatsfalling @tillkummer @error-home-not-found @myfavoritesareproblematic @love-conquers-everythingg @munsonhrts @tayburkulosis @joekeeryswife @xoxoloverb @twihard08 @kibumslatina @eddiesange1 @tlclick73 @beep-beep-sherlock @littlemiss-yeehaw @violet-19999 @wyattsgirlfriend @0lissa0 @eddiethesexy @scoopsahoyspidey @givemehickeysplease @parker-natasha @seshacoono @alienthewolf @m-rae233 @rindousworld @minejungwoo

#eddie x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson series #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie x reader #eddie x you #reader x eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson angst fic #bestfriend!eddie #eddie munson x bestfriend!reader

[waffled0g]

how good is Hypnospace Outlaw at the 90s aesthetics?

I haven't played Hypnospace! It looks fun!

But looking at the trailer and some gameplay videos... well, don't get mad, but this is exactly the kind of stuff I wrote my article in faux protest about.

It's not wrong, it's not bad, not saying that. There's truths in there about 90s design. But if you're asking me, the game has a thick layer of Vaporwave over everything. It just comes across as fake 90s to my tastes, personally.

But I think that was the point. I think that's what Tendershoot was going for. It's a surreal game about surfing the web in your sleep, right? So the design isn't going for accuracy, it's more that dreamy fantastical look people remember (or misremember.) It works for them!

Like, I like the key art! That's pretty good. CGI head in space would have been right at home on a Trapper Keeper. That USB cord should have totally have been a serial port instead tho.

And this box art is chef's kiss. I feel like I'd see this on a textbook in computer class.

What I've seen of the actual game though? Hmmmm. You're asking a web designer here for an opinion, and this is a game all about web design. Like they get some stuff right. UI is a lot of fun, down to the Winamp-style skeuomorphic buttons in some of the screenshots.

But for something that's supposed to be set in '99, that's a huge overuse of pastel pink and purple gradients. It's like an Instagram filter over the whole thing. That's Vaporwave, and while it looked cool in 2018 that's not really what was going on at the time.

The MS-DOS sized pixel text bugs me when they should have gone with Windows 98-style higher resolution. They seem to run all their images through an aggressive dithering filter when in reality, JPGs existed too. But it's funnier to have all those crusty GIFs in there, that ages the art more. And is that a poop emoji button? An emoji in a 90s game?

Sorry, that sounds like I'm picking on a game I haven't played. Not trying to knock down any Hypnospace fans. The game looks fun! I'm just being a design nerd and taking a magnifying glass to something I've never seen before today. If you love the look of the game, that's valid! I like Vaporwave too. But Vaporwave is its own separate thing.

So, real quick, let's talk Vaporwave. It's important to understand Vaporwave is evocative of the 1990s, but wasn't an actual thing in the 1990s. The point of Vaporwave is it's meant to be a surreal parody version of the decade, as seen through the lens of the 2010s. I think what happened over the past decade was everyone forgot it was a parody and took it at face value. Vaporwave and 90s just became equals.

And that's how we got this:

What I wanted to share with you all was Vaporwave and Memphis style graphics are starting to be like THE ONLY representation of the decade. I wanted to share that there's more out there to pick apart and use for retro throwbacks.

Maybe further into Hypnospace they get into that other stuff? Thanks for tipping me off about the game! I'll add it to my Steam list.

;-)

#90s #vaporwave #hypnospace outlaw

[aly-writes]

Hey, I just read your aib fics and I really enjoyed them. So if it’s alright with you, can I ask for chishiya and Niragi with a burnout s/o who is unmotivated even though she actually has potential. Ty!:)

hello? is this a comeback? i'm actually not sure, i've been in the mood to write and decided to try and get back in the groove with one of the old requests sitting in my inbox. this may be a little rusty, but here it is (a year or so late, sorry!) also, totally had to relearn tumblr formatting lol

this is kind of all over the place but i think it's decent for my first time writing in a year and a half!

notes: chishiya's is pre-borderland, both are in college :)

warnings: maybe ooc chishiya? idk

niragi and chishiya with a burnt out s/o

chishiya shuntaro

the burnout wasn't sudden, so he had seen you at your peak

you had been a top performer at whatever you put your mind to. in your case, it had been your studies

both of you were going into similar fields, so he knew how tedious the work could be. even so, you managed to do it diligently and relatively painlessly

he had seen your love for learning firsthand. it was a common event to go out to lunch together and hear you ramble about whatever your professor lectured about that day

things didn't take a turn fast, but he was observant

he noticed your enthusiasm drop ever so slightly. the stars in your eyes dimmed over time and certain subjects turned into taboo topics around you

your usual "i wonder what we'll be learning today" turned into "professor's lesson will probably be useless again"

it seemed that you weren't even noticing it yourself with how subtle the change was. it happened over a few months and took you by surprise

all of a sudden, you were questioning everything about your life

"i should just drop out"

"what's the point anyway?"

these questions soon became a daily thing

soon enough, you stopped showing up to your daily lunches with him

chishiya likes to give off the impression that he couldn't care less. and for most people, that's the truth. but you aren't most people, and he genuinely cares about you

so of course he's concerned the first time you cancel on him.

he had shown up at the usual meeting spot and waited for you for at least ten minutes before he sent you a text. you were always punctual, so this was very out of the norm

your response was "sorry, had something come up. maybe next time?"

he decided to accept it, but before he knew it, next time never came

before either of you knew it, the things you loved to do soon became a chore

you came to dread school and stopped showing up at all. your motivation was in the gutter and the things that came easy in the past were now the hardest things ever

it felt like you were dragging yourself around. you were forgetful and the littlest things began to get under your skin

the worst part about it? you knew you could do better, you just couldn't bring yourself to perform the way you used to

chishiya knows you have potential. he had seen it himself. because you're important to him, he's willing to do what it takes to nurture that potential back into what it once was.

is chishiya the best at talking about feelings? definitely not. but he's clever and understands people at the deepest part of their core. he'll flip a tactic usually used for his own gain into something to help you out

he isn't very direct about what he's doing, he just kind of shows up one day and does it

he'll ask you about your classes and what you like and don't like. he brings it up as small talk but takes mental notes to bring up later

when you spout out something negative or cynical about your classes, he tries to guide you into a position where you'll have to reframe it into something positive

"god, i just can't stand this subject. i don't understand why they bring it up so often"

cue his tactful reply "if you know so much, won't it be easy for you to best anybody else there if the occasion arises?"

"yeah... i guess you're right."

he'll start walking you to class when he has the time to, that way you don't have an excuse to not go to school

chishiya prefers a hands-off approach. he cares about your feelings, but he would much rather observe from a distance and discreetly help you. he's not much for mushy-gushy stuff like a talk about your feelings

when he finally starts noticing your motivation spiking a bit, he couldn't be more relieved

if anybody were to ask him, he would verbally tell them that he was just grateful he wouldn't have to put up with you anymore (but we all know that isn't true :) deep down he only wants you to be the best person you can be)

overall...

chishiya loves you, truly. despite common belief among your peers, he doesn't want to see you fail and will do what he can to assist you given he doesn't have to talk to you about it face-to-face

niragi suguru

putting this as nicely as possible? niragi is dogshit when it comes to noticing stuff like this

unlike chishiya, if you want him to help you, you're going to have to be the one to tell him how you're doing

niragi is a very physical person, but lacks on the emotional side, so he can be a little intimidating if you want to talk about stuff like that

when you come up to him and break the news that you're starting to get burnt out, he really doesn't know how to respond at first

you had been doing fine, so what's with this all of a sudden?

he thinks your emotions are sudden and off-putting. he doesn't realize that they've been brewing for a while

maybe if he weren't a militant it would be different, but his priorities are all over the place

he enjoys running around the place with a gun, but he also enjoys his time with you. it's a little hard for him to balance both

when you finally sit him down and explain, he starts to get it

even if he finds it sudden, he's willing to listen. you're his partner after all, his self-proclaimed number one

you explained to him how tired you were from the games. how exhausted your mind was and how difficult it was to drag yourself out of your room on game days

considering you had been a high-ranking member due to how many cards you raked in during your stay at the beach, he was kind of thrown off

he didn't expect you to be struggling with the thing you were best at, but oh boy is he devoted to getting you back to where you were prior to your burnout

niragi will cut any corner and destroy anything in his way to achieve a goal. especially if that goal pertains to you

niragi is majorly possessive of you. if he knows you're unhappy, his brain immediately jumps to the thought that it will lead to you being unhappy with him. he doesn't like this thought, so he will fix it no matter what

he'll get you your favorite things. you want something specific for dinner? he'll go into the kitchen and threaten the cooks to make it. he notices somebody stressing you out or giving you a hard time? it's safe to say you won't be seeing them anytime soon

his way of dealing with your burnout is just trying to make you as happy as possible. he thinks that happiness will motivate you more, which will get you back in the groove

niragi understands very well how good you are at what you do, which is partly why he tries so hard

you had talent. one of the very few that did well at almost any type of game, not matter the suit

you shined brightest while doing your best, and damn does niragi love to see you shine

seeing you outplay everybody else gives him a thrill that can't be matched, which is the entire reason he got infatuated with you in the first place

overall...

while it may not be the healthiest mentality, niragi likes you the most when you're in top condition. it reminds him of why he fell for you and chose you out of anybody in the beach

when you're at your best and he's at his best, you could basically rule the world

because of these specific things, once he's aware of your burnout, he won't rest until you're feeling better

#chishiya shuntaro #chishiya shuntaro x reader headcanons #chishiya shuntaro x reader #chishiya x reader #niragi suguru #niragi suguru x reader #niragi x reader #niragi suguru x reader headcanons #niragi suguru headcanons #chishiya shuntaro headcanons #alice in borderland #aib #alice in borderland x reader #aib x reader #alice in border x reader headcanons #aib headcanons #aib x reader headcanons #alice in borderland headcanons #fanfiction #fanfic

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

If the Sky Comes Falling Down (For You)

First posted: January 25, 2019

Focuses on: Jason Todd and his various siblings

Favorite bookmark: "A variety of permutations and flavors of Robin h/c featuring Jason! The Baskin Robins of BatFam h/c, if you will."

Second favorite bookmark: "and so, step by step, the prodigal stray coaxes himself home."

Tier: #3 in hits & kudos & subscriptions, #4 in comment threads, #2 in bookmarks

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Individual chapter notations below the cuts.

Chapter One

First, to note, the title came last and is from "Hey Brother" by Avicii because it was already on my BatFam playlist and gave me strong sibling feels, so it worked!

Okay if I remember correctly, this fic came about because 1) I had jotted down story ideas, all surrounding Jason, that were all just a bit too similar for me to feel comfortable doing them as one-offs, and 2) it was late 2018 when I start writing so I was deep in 5+1 IronDad fics.

This fic was so deeply indulgent from start to finish, which I think might be why people liked it so much? Like, if you're into the tropes into this fic, you're really into them. It scratches the itch just right, because it's my itch and I wrote it for me.

The plan was to do like I did for my other multi-chapter fics (except Nature and Nurture, RIP me) and write it all out before posting anything, so I could be sure that I would actually finish. I don't have that kind of self-restraint anymore. But it was a fun challenge to figure out what should happen to whom and in what order.

Jason didn’t sleep much anymore. He’d always been a rough sleeper, his years spent in low-security public housing and then on the street grinding away at his ability to rest with ease. He slept lightly, his consciousness skimming just below the surface, ready to spring awake at the softest noise.

As I've said before, sometimes I have an idea for a fic but then, when trying to start it, a sentence pops up immediately as my opener. That's always a wild ride because sometimes it seems to have nothing at all to do with where I want to go, so then I have to backtrack and figure out but why tho????

Moving to the Manor had helped some, after he’d assured himself that no one was going to scratch at his door or steal his shoes. The cold mornings had been the best, spent curled under a mound of the softest blankets imaginable atop a mattress so perfectly contoured to his bones that it’d felt like floating on the surface of a pool. He’d slept, truly slept, at the Manor.

I like the idea of, even at Jason's most toxic and vitriolic, the Manor itself still representing safety and comfort. Maybe sometimes he would twist it into stifling or grossly indulgent, but I think deep in his stomach he would know that distortion was a lie. The Manor was safer than anywhere else, even with his mom.

Those days of rest were long gone. The Pit had done a number on his brain—intensifying and altering his emotions, erasing some old habits and dialing up others, leaving dark chasms where memories should be.

I've seen other fics play with the idea of the trauma of Jason's injuries, death, resurrection, and the Pit all combining to some degree or another to swiss-cheese his brain (a phrase I lovingly borrow from Quantum Leap.) And that of course leaves a bunch of really fun room to play with—how much does Jason know he's missing vs. how much is gone or totally distorted without him even being aware? (Again, another thing I tease out in various fics like N&N.)

It was like someone had jammed a stick in his skull and given his brain a good stir. Or maybe that was just the crowbar. Ha.

I made myself snicker with that one. It's so voiceily Jason but also that ha is so guttural and specific in my head, you all will never know.

He was making progress with his budding criminal empire—splashy progress, as displayed on the crusting cuffs of his sleeves and the splattered toes of his boots, but also more subtle progress, too. The subtle form was harder, so much harder, but he knew its changes would be more permanent, in the long run. Splashy got people talking. Subtle got them bowing.

Jason! Todd! Is! No! Thug! He is smart and cunning and uses violence to make an impact and that's that on that.

And though he’d heard her speak before in the careful neutral of the middle-class, the sounds being beat out of her now were Crime Alley crooked.

I like the idea of Steph and Jason growing up in the same neighborhood. It's not a hill I'd die on, but it makes for some interesting fic.

The girl put up a good fight. She was rough, no finesse, no real training. All knuckles and elbows and feet and knees. He spotted some of the Bat basics pop up in the way she ducked and spun, but she wasn’t lithe like Nightwing or crafty like the Replacement. She was a brawler. And she was losing.

She is who he might have been, without Bruce and Alfred and Dick. A decent fighter, stubborn, willing to brawl it out, but ultimately destined to lose.

It sucked in an abstract way, the way it sucked that someone was going hungry halfway around the world, the way it sucked when a stranger missed his bus. It sucked, but it wasn’t Jason’s problem, and he couldn’t really bring himself to care. B needed to learn to pick up his toys.

Starting with Steph made the most sense to me. She wasn't (and isn't) a member I know super well, with so much of her canon backstory being things I have no interest in, and she's part of the Family but in that awkward "we're maybe siblings but also I have a mom and also I dated one of you too??" ways, so she's got a little bit of distance, for me as a writer and also Jason. She doesn't have the emotional heat of the others. He doesn't hate her, just what she represents. He also doesn't care what happens to her, except—

The knife glinted in the amber streetlight and cast a shadow across the yellow emblem on her chest.

She's not Batman. She's not a Robin. She's Batgirl. And that's a different thing entirely.

Jason knew what they saw when they looked at him. He was big now, broad-shouldered and massive in a way he had only ever dreamed of being as a scrawny, malnourished street kid. His helmet was blood-red and gleaming, its angles sculpted to subtly suggest a skull. And his clothes were still stained with actual blood. He was an Alley myth, a nightmare with more bite than the Bat, because he wasn’t afraid to do real damage. He was death.

Jason Peter Todd is scary smart, and he knows how to make the exact impact he wants.

“I don’t know you, but I know your colors. You’re Ibanescu’s boys.”

I had to google Gotham crime families. I know literally nothing other than the name.

It was one thing to let her get the snot beat out of her. And even if someone else had taken a shot at her, he wouldn’t have minded. But he couldn’t. Not in that suit.

:3

“It’s not about you,” Jason repeated, his voice gravelly and rough. He pointed toward the yellow symbol on her chest, the symbol that, in the world he’d left, the world he remembered, belonged to someone else. “I owe her a debt. And now it’s paid.” Jason was a murderer. A thief. A criminal. A drug lord. He had no illusions as to his own goodness anymore, no hope for redemption or grace. But he had his values, the few precious things that he would not allow. One of those, it seemed, was watch a man restrain and stab a Batgirl while he did nothing.

Someday I'll write more about that. The partner and friend and maybe mentor who was still reeling from trauma and hadn't yet found her way when Jason was snuffed out of existence.

Jason was tired, but the night was just beginning.

So that's where it starts. Jason tired, literally caked with dried blood, stepping in not because of love or hate or curiosity or concern but because he felt he owed a debt to someone else and that debt instead landed on the person in front of him.

#fanfic bts brain dump #fanfic #batfic #batfam #jason todd

[findafight]

hi i'm the anon that sent the ask about someone telling joyce and oh my god it being hopper that says it is so good. i can totally see him doing that. i also love that you added steve finding out from murray bc that's always been my preferred hc for how steve would find out. murray saying something about it that's weird and out of pocket is him to a tee imo. poor steve i feel so bad for him in this au, at least hopper is on his side completely. ty for acknowledging how fucked up it is that nancy and jonathan but esp nancy never actually told steve. i wonder what she would've done/told him if steve hadn't bit the bullet and broken up w her.

Thank youuuu (love getting ask mwah) (also idk what to call the au) Listen I loooove Steve and Hopper accidentally adopting each other. In my brain Dustin talked up Steve's hair skills to El at the snowball and she gets all starry-eyed like he knows! Hair? :0 Dustin you have to convince Steve to come over to my house and help me with my hair and I will convince hop to let him come! I also need hair advice!! Hop barely has hair!! Which is how Steve gets a little sister pre S3 (like he always wanted) (he also gets max a bit later too godbless) (sibling collector lmao) Steve 100% calls Hop dad once without realizing and Hopper gets choked up and Steve's like you okay there?? And Hop has to go yeah yeah I'm finE so he doesn't embarrass Steve. That's the shit. (Also makes more Steve and El angst post S3 with hop gone and them being separated ;-;)

Hopper gets to be a jackass to on his kid's behalf and I think that's actually beautiful.

Oh, yeah. The more I've thought about it the more I feel like Steve has no clue Nancy cheated on him. We saw how he acted in S1 when he thought so and while S2 Steve wouldn't be so extreme, he'd definitely be crushed. And with S4...idk I don't think Steve knew about the cheating then. It just seems like he wouldn't. Want to go back after being cheated on? Or that he'd have some serious hang ups with Nancy. Even if he still loved her if he knew she slept with Jonathan, would he want to act on it? Also did he know they were still together? Does she mention Jonathan at all to anyone but Fred?

Also Murray. You bizarre jackass. Of COURSE it was him. He'd feel guilty about it because he totally thought Steve knew and he was just trying to be a dickhead but not like. Cruel. so it's awwwkwaaaard and not the fun kind he can manipulate just the sad kind that has Hopper glaring at him.

Yeah... I understand that the writers do not feel like Nancy cheated but I have eyes and media comprehension and know how relationships work and Nancy herself said she had Steve back home to Murray so. What else am I supposed to think. I get why Nancy and Jon don't interact with Steve after the Upside Down but like. Not even to apologize to him? Did Nancy's relationship with Steve mean so little to her? I do think she, at one point, did love Steve, or convinced herself of it and did care for him, but for her to drop him like a hot potato the second Jonathan gets the nerve to make a move (she said she waited a month for him before going back to a probably grovelling Steve [based on how desperate he was at the Byers' to apologize to Jon] and it's like Woah! Okay writers! What do you want us to believe about this relationship?!) So just. Why didn't she actually tell Steve what happened? Idk. Jon I kinda get he and Steve were love rivals and Jonathan is already awkward it probably would have been weird and also it wasn't his place to say! It should have been Nancy!

Honestly if Steve hadn't broken things off....idk. I don't think she necessarily would have continued with both of them, but I think Nancy tends to look for easy ways out of relationship hurdles. So. Maybe it would have festered for a few months, before Steve finally couldn't stand the tension and cut things off there. I don't actually think, based on what we've seen in the show, the scene between Nancy and Steve could have gone any different. Like. It should have. Nancy definitely could have acknowledged her role in the crumbling relationship, but I think Steve letting her go is a significant character beat for him. He chooses he's not going to hold onto someone who doesn't want to be with him. For me that's him trying to move past his issues from his parents and to continue to be better.

Yeah this au is not nice to poor Steve. He does have support! Robin and Eddie are both there and know everything, Hopper and El also know most stuff and are very worried about why he's so keen to leave the house all the time (he doesn't live there but he doesn't...not live there...) Buddy's got issues that will be heightened by all these things happening with Joyce!

#stranger things #steve harrington #anti stancy #i guess?? #steve and hopper #steve and el #findaanswers #anonasaurus #joyce doesn't like steve au #terrible name but its what ive got for now

[drdemonprince]

How do you tell the difference between perfectly reasonable bitch sessions about people processing their problems with others/groups, as opposed to having ended up in a clique? I've been in situations a few times in my life where I ended up in a friend group whose complaining about others made me feel very irritated and/or uncomfortable. But I can't tell whether that's a reasonable reaction or whether my own tendencies towards people-pleasing and toxic positivity.

I don't want to give in to a bad impulse to "play devil's advocate" or anything, but my internal reaction tends to be "well, at the moment I'd rather be with them than you" and start looking for chances to make more distance so I won't be privy to those discussions anymore. But then I worry that distancing myself from people because of unexpressed discomfort isn't the right thing to do either.

To further complicate the matter: I also criticize people behind their backs sometimes! I feel like it can contribute to less charged, more robust relationships with those around me. My tolerance for this in general has gone up a bit over the years, and now someone else is doing it about a person whose flaws I've also seen doesn't bother me nearly as much. I can't tell if that's reasonable, hypocritical, or a secret third thing. I feel like I do it with the intention of ultimately getting to know/deal with them better, but maybe that's just toxic positivity talking again.

TL;DR any tips for how to a) identify constructive vs. destructive talking about people behind their backs when I'm privy to it, and b) respond if it seems like the destructive kind?

I think the search for an over-arching rule of what should be acceptable here is the wrong tactic! Rather than worrying so much about whether what you are doing is okay, or hypocritical, or too devils-advocatey, or too fawning, or what's the optimal level and form of talking about other people to which you should permit in yourself and others.... please just let yourself actually trust how you feel! This is an interpersonal vibe issue and how you feel and what you want matters.

It annoys you to be around people who are super negative and judgmental toward others. You think the judgements this person is making of a third party are needless. Just say that! You don't have to have some grand unified theory of why it's not acceptable for them to speak in this way or some established rule set to justify how you feel. How you feel is the point! These are your relationships and you get to decide how you feel about them!

Here are some statements that are totally acceptable to say in this situation:

"I don't really like hearing you talking so negatively about people."

"Can we talk about something else? This is not interesting to me."

"I don't have any problem with them, let's move on."

"When you talk about other people like this, it makes me wonder how you see me."

"Yeah yeah I get it the picture, you don't like them. Played any good video games lately?"

Or, if they are insistent in continuing to complain about people or talk negatively in ways that you dislike and don't listen when you say it's unpleasant for you, you could just not hang out with this person! This is a very legitimate reason to not like somebody.

I had a partner for a while who would constantly talk shit about other people. I'm a hater in a great many ways so at first I thought it was fine. I'm used to people thinking I'm too analytical and too critical so sometimes being around negative people feels safe and accepting to me! And I love a good bitching sesh -- especially in person discussions about online people who are never gonna be hurt or affected by me privately talking shit with my friends.

But I noticed this person I was seeing constantly would pick apart every one else's flaws, including random people they'd only just met, while also complaining often about how they didn't get enough affection or attention themselves... it frankly disgusted me because they could not see that their shitty attitude toward others was the sole cause of their own isolation. I had to end things because it was so viscerally off-putting. This person was always perfectly nice to me. Very generous, affectionate, complimentary, and attentive. It didn't matter because I didn't like how they spoke about others and how much time they devoted to being petty. It was a huge turn off and it can be a massive friendship deal-breaker too. If you don't like it, you don't like it! that's enough.

[erikahenningsen]

Thoughts on the movie? Spoilers welcome lol

MEAN GIRLS (2024) SPOILERS BELOW

Overall I really liked it! I had very low expectations, especially considering the track list showing that a lot of songs had been cut. That actually turned out not to be true, as there were some songs in the movie that weren't on the track list (Cautionary Tale, Someone Gets Hurt (Reprise), I See Stars). I expected a lot to be changed, but it actually followed the show fairly closely with some changes (they don't go to the mall, for example). A lot of the lines from the original movie and the Broadway show were kept but there's a lot of new stuff too that really made me laugh. Damian has some good one-liners.

Generally I liked the musical numbers, although I found Angourie kind of lacking when it came to performing during songs, although that's not entirely her fault. They changed Stupid With Love to be slowed way down and just like generally low-key and lines like "I am filled with calculust" just don't hit the same when you're singing it softly with no expression on your face lol. I've never been a big fan of Stop but I do wish Jaquel had had some song of his own. He just has Cady's part in Apex Predator now. The new opening song for Cady (What Ifs) was... fine, but I've never been super in love with Wildlife or It Roars so whatever. It seems like the writers never really could settle on what they wanted for that song since it had a lot of changes for the tour as well. They did totally remove Cady's dad's existence with no explanation which was kind of funny. (My new headcanon is that he was eaten by a lion.)

Definitely cannot go without mentioning that Janis is canonically gay and takes a girl to spring fling, and even Damian has a date he dances with! Regina does also tell Cady she likes her although I think they were going for platonic (could go either way). Cady had the exact same reaction to seeing Regina for the first time as Aaron, which was very funny to me. Obviously I didn't expect them to make everyone explicitly gay so I appreciate the little things they did add. (We know the truth.) I was worried they would completely remove the storyline about Janis's sexuality since the trailer showed the burn book saying "pyro freak," but it's still there. They also made Norbury and Duvall a canon couple which was cute.

I think they did go a little too hard on the gen Z culture aspect; I found some of the language was little cringy at times and felt like a cariacture, but I'm also not a teenager, so maybe it is authentic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (any teens reading this please report back to me).

In summary I had a really good time and I have some minor gripes but the bar was really on the ground for me and I'm excited to go back! I'm bringing a coworker this week who didn't know me during MG on Broadway and has never seen or listened to this musical so that should be wild.

#mean girls 2024 #mean girls 2024 spoilers #ask #anonymous

[simcardiac-arrested]

"or did people just like. Forget. and suddenly decide it was about aromanticism for whatever reason" that's it exactly! people repackage this specific brand of homophobia into an aro talking-point, when in reality they've totally conflated platonic relationships with being aro!! and as an aro i just ughhhh. it feels so underhanded because they know they can't outright be homophobic without backlash so they act like their opinions are on behalf of aromantics as a way of masking it. granted, this doesn't happen all the time but i've seen it too many times for my liking

RIGHT? Like i’m aro myself and it actually fucking baffles me when people will just parrot “why can’t these characters just be friends” like it’s an actual criticism and not a statement that people frequently used (and still do use!) to be homophobic about gay media/gay kids shipping smth that is gay. and it’s just like ….. it’s not a thing i’ve ever heard any aro person say? ever? Maybe because i’ve just surrounded myself with people who know that “why cant they just be friends” is a homophobic dogwhistle at this point, but also like …… when we talk about the overabundance of romantic relationships we say just that. we don’t usually take a popular gay ship that most likely has a lot of gay subtext and go Damnnn i wish people could just be normal and see these characters as friends :/ LIKE NO MAN we just say like we need more friendships in media in general. that’s it. we don’t single out some random gay ship i have NEVER seen an aromantic do that. So yeah like i totally agree with you that it feels 100% underhanded especially since it seems none of these people are actually aro

and tbh i really hate the implication that only aro people want more friendships in media, or that only aro people could benefit from it. it’s just so stupid. i assure you not only allo queer people but also straight people are Actual Friends with whatever gender they’re attracted to all the time. sometimes they’re even GOOD friends, sometimes best friends and sometimes even something entirely different but that still isn’t romantic. Like ….. i just cannot for the life of me get behind the notion that only The Aros would want friendship in media and that’s why we should stop making things gay! it’s for The Aros guys! and it’s like dude i swear if you just start talking to people outside your damn computer screen you’ll find out that non-aro people tend to value friendship just as much. they might even want to see more of it in media. But i doubt they’re out there saying “god why can’t characters just be friends”

#and yeah the fact that it’s always about gay pairings too is like … UR ASS NOT SUBTLE ! #at least be consistent and complain about forced canon m/f pairings too Bc some of them would actually be better as friends #cramswering

[my-name-is-bunnyfoxy]

For the TMNT Ships Ask Thing:

Caseynardo (Leo x Casey)

and/or

Aprilnardo/Leopril (Leo x April)

I love these 2 ships so much. I know they are kind of rarepairs (though, MM gave a lot of love to Leopril and there has been a lot more Leopril stuff. Which is great!), but I love them.

They are very dear to my heart. Personally.

Caseynardo 2012:

I've never heard of it until long time later

Now I'm just kicking my feet

YESSSSSSS

Silly goofball jock x serious and quiet nerd RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SCREW LEORAI

TO MAKE THIS BETTER LEO IS PRETTY MUCH BI IN THE SERIES (He's stated to have a man crush on Captain Ryan)

THE WAY THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER IN THAT ONE EPISODE

I'm aware they were kind of trash talking big foot in a foot too big but they were STILL bonding!!!

Please read Breaking the Ice by @fabuloustrash05 . I stopped studying for a few minutes to just read it and I'm proud. Disclaimer don't ditch your studies to just read fanfics that is not my message.

Anyways the fnafic solified my love for the ship.

Opposites attract

I can also see them as two friends who act gay but actually aren't or maybe they are.

Or two guys who seem gay but~ (inset bisexuality)

It's amazing. A solid 10/10.

2012 Aprilnardo:

We sadly don't get too much content with them but like-

I remember I was kind of introduced to this ship because I followed one of my idols who shipped it and made fanart of it and it was on DA. This was back before it got deactivated my account.

I LOVE 'Eyes of the chimera' episode. They were basically supporting each other all the way.

Ngl the transfem Leo lovers made me love it even more because I love me some lesbians. TMNT is already filled with some lesbians so why not add more!

I love how April is always by Leo's side and we see how much she cares for him.

I love the idea that April used to be into Space Heroes and then Leo got her back into it.

(For those who headcannon as both autistic) they would so totally talk and rant about their hyperfixation.

I wish though they had more moments together.

They are legit underrated.

The ship will get 9/10 for me.

I'll include rise and the mutant mayhem version cause why not.

Rise Leo x Cassandra:

Meh not bad

It's okay at best

I do feel like they could have become very close friends if Cass left junior under Leo's care in the bad future.

They are both reckless and over energetic and yet still have a lot of insecurities and issues that they have to cover it up.

Not a bad idea I suppose.

I guess 4.5/10. I don't know. We didn't get much of them so I mean.

Rise Leo x Junior:

ABSOLUTELY NOT

DNI IF YOU SHIP THEM

LEO WAS LITERALLY A FATHER FIGURE TO CASEY

"But I'm shipping the teen version of Leo with junior not adult-" NO. IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER.

ALSO IMAGINE DATING YOUR FRIEND'S SON. THAT WOULD BE SO DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE.

AGAIN, LEAVE MY PAGE IF YOU SHIP THEM.

Negative 0/10. Get the f out.

Rise Leo x April:

I've seen and been bombared by a ton of art regarding this ship on YT.

Controversial opinion: It's cute.

They both have the same energy and another controversial opinion but, Leo has a way closer relationship with April then Donnie. I've kind of seen more scenes with them together then with her and Donnie.

Though just like last time I prefer her being an older sister figure to him that Leo looks up to.

They both care for each other and love each other no matter what.

April pretty much comforts the turtles about their insecurities so she would do the same with Leo.

Probably a 6/10 or something. Again, prefer them as siblings but don't hate it. I'll kind of indulge in it tbh-

Mutant Mayhem Leo x April:

Better then 2012 Donnie's lmao-

They do have sweet moments

It's sweet they went to prom together

Mah boi was simping real hard

I feel like they should have gotten more scenes

I do feel like maybe April and Leo won't really happen or be cannon though. I don't know man. I'll see how it goes in the Tales of TMNT that will happen in 2024.

I'm really hoping they don't make it into a toxic love triangle or make it creepy or toxic.

I'll take this ship anyway as one of the only few good Leo romances.

It took them after 1987 to finally give Leo a good love interest.

the way he looks at her AHHHHHHHHH

The fanart of them together is really cute and wholesome (that made me remember that I still had that art request from you just sitting in my files- I didn't draw it because I didn't see MM yet- I'll try and get to it at some point I swear-)

Hope we get more scenes of them together

I'm unsure where I sit with this ship just yet. Again I'll see how it goes in the show.

For now, 7/10. I feel like a bit too high but you know what, whatever. The ship is okay so far.

Now...

Is anyone interested in Caprilnardo~?

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2012 #tmnt fandom #rottmnt #tmnt 2k12 #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt leo #tmnt casey jones #tmnt april #april o'neil #tmnt april o'neil #rottmnt april #rottmnt april o'neil #rise april #rise cassandra #rottmnt cassandra #rise casey #aprilnardo #caseynardo #leopril #rottmnt aprilnardo #rottmnt casey jones #rottmnt casey jr #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rottmnt leonardo #rise leonardo #caprilnardo #tmnt ships

[veliseraptor]

soft/hard hcs for xy/jc

did a couple of these for my boy xy so let's do this one for my boy jc (jiang cheng, not julius caesar or jesus christ)

hard headcanon: I feel like most of my hard headcanons for Jiang Cheng are all too often of the "he would not say that (cranky)" variety, and I don't know that I just want to use this meme to rehash the same arguments you've probably all seen a hundred times. so let's see what else I've got here.

okay okay. this isn't the hardest headcanon but I'm going to go with: there was a part of Jiang Cheng that actually thought, on some level, that Wei Wuxian could pull it off, pretty much right up until he died. he knew it wasn't actually possible, that people were falling into line with Jin Guangshan to turn on him (and Wei Wuxian was making it easy - not to blame him, just that hiding in a cursed place with a reputation for necromancy isn't exactly going to make you look good), and after Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun died it was even worse. and yet.

on some level, Wei Wuxian just...manages things nobody else can. he sets the precedent. he achieves the impossible. trapped in a cave with no sword and a monster? he'll figure it out. Wen Ning dies? he'll bring him back to life. it's what he does, and it's also I think part of Jiang Cheng's "that's my sort of not really older brother somewhere between sect sibling and blood sibling but not really either and he can do anything" younger sibling brain is still there, especially when things are bad.

he knows there's no fixing this. but at the same time it seems like there should be a way, and maybe he can't see it but Wei Wuxian will.

it's that, too, that makes him so certain for over a decade that Wei Wuxian will be back.

(the real hard headcanon buried under all of this is that a Jiang Cheng who never loved and trusted Wei Wuxian is incoherent and unrecognizable to me.)

soft headcanon: I feel like I see a fair amount of "Jiang Cheng is good with kids" and I think it's meant to be a sort of "so he's not a bad person" thing, but I actually don't think he's particularly good with kids. I think he's not actively hostile necessarily, but he is awkward and a little uncomfortable and doesn't feel like he knows exactly what to do with them, and I don't think he enjoys just spending time around young children in general. (Jin Ling is different, obviously.)

this makes it especially fun that he ends up with a lot more responsibility for a baby than he expected and truly feels like he has no idea what he's doing, he's totally going to fuck this up and irreparably damage his sister's kid (the only remaining member of his family), but also he can't disengage from him and just leave all of his care to somebody else without being involved at all. so he's gotta learn.

which makes the strength of his relationship with Jin Ling even better for me! because it's something that took work to figure out and involved a lot of fear and the fact that somehow he managed to end up with a nephew who comes to him when he's in trouble or needs help is I think one of the things Jiang Cheng feels uncomplicatedly proud of.

it's just. for all Jiang Cheng says to Jin Ling, it's very clear that Jin Ling knows he's loved. (which, you know. is not something Jiang Cheng necessarily takes for granted.)

#conversating #anonymous #aggressively headcanons #jiang cheng #lise memes #yes i have a couple of these left so sue me if it's been more than a week #LIFE IS HARD OKAY #the sad queer cultivators show

[whumpshaped]

im asking more hungary questions today... do u celebrate mikulás day and if not what DO you celebrate? or is it just christmas the way we know it in america?

sorry if this weird, from what i've seen the celebration days seem to vary a lot so im curious!

-@rule-masochism

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS.

SO mikulás is the hungarian word santa claus for anyone whos wondering. mikulás/santa day in hungary is on december 6th, and it's complerely separate from christmas. kids put their boots out in the window and receive treats and gifts in it! (yes i always put both boots out bc... choccy... i needed as much as possible...)

and u know how bad kids get coal in america or whatever? bad kids in hungary get smth called virgács. its this thing. it gets translated by google as like "rod" or "birch" its basically meant as like "u should be fucken beaten w this thing for being bad". from what ive always seen, most santa day packages have virgács in them lol but like, along w the treats. ive never seen a kid actually just receive that as like a punishment ajdjdk just as im sure not many ppl just receive coal for christmas

now christmas is totally different thats obviously on the 25th (in our household, the 24th, but we're the exception since thats normally just christmas eve) but... if santa came on the 6th then who brings the gifts, u might ask. BABY JESUS. ITS BABY JESUS! baby jesus brings the gifts...

as for some other customs, we dont do stockings as far as i know. santa and the reindeer are a popular motif and stuff but it doesnt quite make sense for christmas? it makes more sense for santa day on the 6th... idk as a kid growing up w hungarian traditions but A Lot of american influence, i kind of associate the reindeer and the sleigh with both holidays, but i also remember mixing them up and thinking baby jesus was going around in a sleigh- idk. weird times. kid brains do Things.

basically we have two separate holidays in december and on the 6th we get some chocolate and maybe some smaller gifts and then the actual big gift stuff comes on christmas. also leading up to christmas we do advent calendars which are also a thing in america i think. i always had so much chocolate in december bc i got TWO advent calendars with chocolate for every day from my parents and grandparents and then me and my brother also had an additional advent calendar that was a cloth thing that we hung up in our rooms with pockets for each day and every day some kinda treat would Magically Appear in it. so much chocolate.

also i have to tell this story- my mom unearthed some incredibly old letter i wrote as a kid to jesus (with my christmas wishlist). and listen... i had no idea where the man lived so i put down the address as heaven street 777... no further comment on the matter

oh also part of advent preparations is the advent wreath! we light a candle every sunday leading up to christmas. the one with the 3 purple and 1 pink candle is the traditional, the pink candle is lit on the third sunday. the colour purple represents fasting, repentance, and reflection. the pink candle is for joy and the virgin mary. separately, the candles in order symbolise faith, hope, joy, and love.

also if ur in church during the holidays (and ur catholic) then u know the priest also wears purple during the advent time (the other time he wears purple is easter and when ur one-on-one confessing). and he wears pink on the third sunday. thats just smth i mention bc i think its neat, i havent been to church in a decade lmao

thats all i can think of!

#asks #rule-masochism

[aroaceleovaldez]

...Has anyone else noticed that everyone defending Will"s characterization in this book. Hasn't actually hit upon any of the things people are upset about? I keep seeing people talking about how he always was portrayed with anxiety and, yeah, we're not contesting that; I'm upset about how he inexplicably won't let Nico shadow travel despite the fact that he shadow travels with Nico all the time, and I'm upset that the book fails to differentiate between constantly trying to "fix" Nico and trying to get him to rest because he was literally going to die that one time.

I honestly did not at all get the feeling from this book that Will was supposed to have an anxiety disorder. As someone with an anxiety disorder. When we're in Will's head it... doesn't feel like an anxiety disorder. Ever. Maybe some normal level anxiety at best? But it literally just feels like dread and apprehension because they're going on a quest to literal superhell. Not an anxiety disorder.

I definitely agree that Will constantly trying to "fix" Nico is incredibly annoying, and is one of my major gripes too, especially since the narrative keeps trying to prove Will right and validate Nico being in the wrong constantly. And yeah I totally agree the mischaracterization of Will fussing over Nico when he's literally one foot in the grave in misinterpreting that to be Will never allowing Nico to use his powers (and conversely, when Nico attempts to do the same thing paint it as Nico being harmful and not knowing what's best for Will, despite Will apparently being entirely in the right for Nico according to the narrative. The book just can't stop infantilizing Nico and making him completely helpless. grrrr.)

The main mischaracterization issue I take with Will is that they made him an asshole. Just an absolute insensitive huge asshole. This isn't even like low-empathy/autistic Will not realizing he's being rude, it's him actively being mean and the narrative never showing repercussions of that, only validating him. Will is a complete and total asshole, particularly to Nico, and the book says he is right about it. Which is HORRIBLE. And this is completely atypical to how we've seen Will in the past! In TLO, Will is serious but empathetic. In most of HoO, he's chill and lax and helpful. In TOA he's both. The only time Will is somewhat rude is in BoO when he's actively trying to keep Nico from keeling over and also this is the first time we see them interact significantly, so we can chalk up this discrepancy to just them trying to find their footing talking to each other. It's absolutely not the kind of dynamic they'd have one year into their relationship (especially not when we literally never see this in TOA). The book also completely retcons the fact that Will actually has an incredibly strong stomach due to being a medic, if not actually finding typically "gross" stuff kind of amusing. The closest acknowledgement we get to that in TSATS is Will liking true crime podcasts, but that honestly just feels like more of a joke poking fun at millennials/gen z kids being really into true crime. At every other point he gets so easily off-put, disgusted, and revolted by absolutely everything. I mean, heck, there's the whole bug house thing - Apollo is literally the god of midges and locusts! That's not a joke, that is a legitimate thing. He's also the father of the god of bees. Give me Will seeing the bug house and going "Oh shit that's epic." We should have gotten Will stumbling through the entire Underworld going "Oh, gross! I love it!" (I've heard others also compare Will's disgust towards the Underworld as feeling coded like someone refusing to respect their partner's culture, which I think is also a very accurate comparison and particularly notable given Nico canonically immigrated to the United States).

Besides the anxiety disorder thing, heck, I asked the PJO discord if anyone could check their ebooks/pdfs and it doesn't seem like the book even references ADHD/dyslexia, which is the literal foundations of the entire series. And throughout the entire book we never get any notes about it, or do Will or Nico ever show any traits of it. The closest we get is Will bounces his leg like one time. They couldn't even get that much right. Not to mention them referencing Nico's eating disorder at the beginning of the book and then immediately forgetting about it and it being implied to be "cured" by the end, and them only remembering Nico's autistic traits when it was to infantilize him, and in general them handling PTSD and depression extremely poorly. Basically the only neurodivergence/mental health topic they touched upon that actually seemed to be done somewhat well was Will have a very overt seasonal affective disorder metaphor/coding. And admittedly, it's kind of hard to fuck that one up with how they coded it.

Literally the only reasons I can think for them characterizing Will as they did in this book are:

a.) They completely mixed him up with Michael Yew, aka basically the only other Apollo kid with a fleshed out personality (and that personality is "asshole") b.) the book was blatantly going for a Percabeth 2 dynamic, and so tried to make Will some awkward fusion between Percy's snark and Annabeth's stubbornness and know-it-all attitudes, resulting in him just being a Huge Jerk c.) Solangelo had too healthy of a dynamic in previous books and to create conflict that would inevitably be overcome within the book they had to completely change Will and Nico's characters to insert it into the story for narrative purposes or d.) they were entirely drawing upon popular "fanon" for solangelo, particularly back from pre-TOA (circa 2014-2016), and because Will in that era was usually characterized as somewhat of an asshole due to his behavior in BoO and everybody was still trying to figure out what to do with him, that interpretation of his character was put into the book.

Whatever the case, it's definitely disappointing and they really didn't succeed in trying to code Will as having an anxiety disorder at all.

#will solace #tsats #the sun and the star #pjo #riordanverse #tsats spoilers #the sun and the star spoilers #ask #Anonymous #analysis #ask to tag #i should not i dont actually go into the pjo tags often so i have no idea what other people are saying about this really #save for what i see in my notifs/inbox and discussions on the discord #and i dont actually follow many pjo blogs. i follow like 3 which post pjo semi-regularly and thats about it #so these are almost entirely my own opinions on the matter #if anybody has any other posts discussing some of these topics that they'd like to recommend me feel free #if it wasnt obvious by the entirety of my blog i love analysis so its always interesting to read that type of stuff for me #long post //

[queenlua]

I've been thinking about picking up FF13, the way people talk about combat system intrigues me (I've never really liked standard final fantasy combat) and I love for a story to have a female lead... if the writing does a good enough job? I've heard a couple vague compelling things about Lightning as a protagonist but I've never known how much credence to give any of it. My hope, spun up from what I've heard, is that she's kind of a bitch (laudatory) without the writing being too... aggressively gendery about her being a woman, if that makes sense. Any information/perspective you care to share would be helpful 🙏

(and I don't care very much about spoilers-- sometimes spoilers end up being crucial for making me interested enough in a piece of media to actually try it!)

ohhh interesting yeah so re: ff13:

Lightning's arc didn't feel particularly gendered to me, surprisingly! overall i'd say her arc gave me vibes of Stressed-Out High-Performing Twentysomething Who Opts To Work Really Hard Instead Of Dealing With Feelings. which is, like, how i spent some chunk of my 20s, so, perfectly relatable on that front, and also a thing i've seen high-performing twentysomethings of p much every gender do at some point haha

for me her most compelling arc was the one she has with Hope, which is a kind of mentor-y arc—you sort of see her transition from "i'm barking orders and bossing this kid around because I Know Best," into, uhhh "oh fucking shit this kid is listening to me, they think i have Authority, how did that happen fuck fuck fuck i'm freakin out a little." you can read a decent amount of gender into that if you want to, right, mentor-liness is somewhat femme-coded—but not exclusively so; this arc also felt compelling to me in that i could kinda see that dynamic happening between a lot of different types of 20something-teenagerish pairs.

the writing has other weaknesses—ones you've probably heard already. the game seems to expect you to either Read A Bunch Of Tiny Print In Menus, or else Just Be Kind Of Confused For The First Few Hours, and i'm impatient so i opted to Just Be Kind Of Confused. weirdly, once you hit the 10-hour mark, the story tightens up hugely and everything's very coherent. and it's not like you're totally clueless before then. but it's just... yeah, it starts out a little wobby for non-Gender reasons

my big rec re: gameplay: would be, maybe watch a video of some speedrunners playing this video game first? just 15min-1hr should be plenty—watching speedrunners which got me interested in giving this game a second chance. the combat system is SO cool, but it's possible to do everything slowly/tediously/boringly, which will NOT feel satisfying, and unfortunately the difficulty isn't high enough to FORCE you to try interesting stuff early on. whereas, if you're trying to do Speedrunner Bullshit (try and finish combat AS FAST AS POSSIBLE, a few tricks you'll see them do), you will have an amazing time out of the gate. like i literally think those speedrunners TAUGHT me how to play the game "properly," and sure i wasn't LITERALLY speedrunning but i was focusing on gogogo in a way that felt really visceral and satisfying when i played.

i typed up some other scattered thoughts over here, ages ago

hope that all helps! & lemme know if you give it a shot, for good or for ill~

[coolgreatwebsite]

Happy 1 Million Views to the Video That Broke Me

This is a repost of something I wrote over on my Cohost, but I figured a year later it should also probably live on the domain I pay money to have. Better late than never!

This is the most successful piece of content I have ever created. At one million views it is the thing I've made that people have seen the most. It is the thing that the most people have seen my name attached to. And it's total trash.

It's 2017 and we're a week or so out from the release of Sonic Mania, a game that I'm, at that point, pretty damn excited for. A kindly poster from the Something Awful forums (that I have known from many forums previous) poses a challenge: be the first to beat his short kaizo Sonic the Hedgehog 2 ROM hack and he'll gift you a copy of Sonic Mania on Steam when it comes out.

I was already getting the game on PS4 but I figured whatever, everyone else seems to be having trouble with it, I'm bored, I got nothing better to do, I'll give it a shot. I load up KEGA Fusion, start a low bitrate and resolution OBS recording because it'll probably take a few hours and who cares it's a forum contest verification video, and get to work. A hour and half-ish goes by and I'm finished with the hack. I upload the video to YouTube, post it in the thread, win my free copy of Sonic Mania, and that's the end of the story. Thanks for reading.

Except of course it's not the end of the story. A few months after I got done thoroughly enjoying Sonic Mania, I realized that I'd been getting a weird amount of new subscriber emails from YouTube. I decided to actually look at my metrics and noticed a uh, highly localized spike of activity. Give you one guess on which video (hint: it's the one this post is about). "The Algorithm" had suddenly taken it and was running away with it at lightning speed.

In the timespan between posting the video and this spike, YouTube had announced they were drastically raising the bar on the metrics you needed to hit to have your channel monetized. I was by no means a large YouTuber at the time, but I was meeting the old requirements for monetization just fine. I wasn't anywhere near meeting the new requirements until now and this video was blowing the hell up for whatever reason, so I decided to do what any good opportunist would do and made it an unwatchable experience.

I set the ad frequency on that thing to the maximum that it'd let me. I forget exactly how frequent that was but it was something absurd like an ad every 5 minutes. Maybe even more than that. I figured I'd either get rich or maybe it would make people stop watching and leaving the worst comments in the world. Seriously the comments on this thing are their own nightmare, a bizarre soup of people ascribing meaning to nothing, trying to suss out emotions where there are none, saying complete gibberish, I'd need an entire second post to unpack whatever the hell is going on there.

Well, I wouldn't quite say I got rich. The money you get off what most people would conventionally call a popular YouTube video is just not much in the grand scheme of things. But holy shit they didn't stop watching. If anything they were watching more. Why didn't they stop watching? This video was less than nothing. It was an ordeal to watch all the way through. Why were they doing this? Why was the algorithm showing this to everyone? Why this and not one of the things I put effort into or something that was at least meant to be entertaining at all? I didn't have the answers and I still don't.

Before this I personally wasn't lamenting the possibility of losing monetization on my channel as up until this point I had made around $40 total on YouTube in the decade or so I'd had a channel. But I had been spending a lot that time watching friends with channels around the size of mine who were actively hustling to, and unfortunately failing to, meet the new hurdle. They were putting out some really good shit. Way better than my stuff, frankly. And here I was getting launched to the finish line by... a throwaway, blurry, hour and a half long, commentary-free, save state abusing playthrough of a crummy Sonic ROM hack? That I had made as a means to a completely separate end?? That got promoted by a computer program for seemingly no reason???

It felt shitty. One of the friends I mentioned in that last paragraph was my longtime friend Fotts who was in the middle of getting their (sadly now dormant) series TAS Force off the ground. They were constantly tweeting about the ordeal of trying to meet the new monetization requirements and it was a damn shame because they were putting in a ton of effort and it was great. The kind of thing I'd watch even if I wasn't friends with anyone on it. It was a million times funnier than anything I was doing, and the complete opposite of my shitty contest video. If there was any justice in this world the views I was getting on this dumpster fire would be going to them. But as it turns out, there is no justice online.

I recalled a conversation I had with them a few years back while they, I, and a group of about 7 or so other friends were all wandering around an Orlando Wal-Mart wearing identical black t-shirts that read "MARVEL CAN SUCK MY COCK" in big block letters (long story). They had actually kind of gone through this sort of thing before. See, they're the uploader and one of the voices of this video you may or may not have seen with 6.5+ million views on it.

They lamented to me many of the laments I was currently lamenting. "This was just a stupid throwaway thing", "why is this so much more popular than the stuff I put effort into", "it's just me making PaRappa the Rapper say the word 'Chinese' over and over". Ok maybe that last one was a bit more specific to them. Anyway, I responded with (and I admit a lot of the reason I felt this way was because I thought and still think the video is funny) something along the lines of "you can't pick what hits for people, it might have been throwaway but at the end of the day you posted it because you thought it was at least a little bit funny, try and focus on the fact that you have a popular video at all rather than the fact it's not one of the videos you're particularly proud of".

But yeah damn turns out that advice is easier said than done when it happens to you, and it's even harder done when it happens to a factually not entertaining video. One you could have uploaded as unlisted and achieved your intended result with. The runaway success of this thing genuinely broke me on this whole "Internet" deal.

I should stress I mean this in a good way. I realized that it's not so much that you can't pick what hits for people, it's that you physically cannot pick what gets put in front of people. The people cannot pick what hits for them. A computer does. You can try and promote and affect what gets seen in your own small sphere of influence, but ultimately we are, on YouTube and on all of our social platforms, at the mercy of a black box of computer programs that I'm not even sure the people who created them understand anymore. I'd obviously known this on some level prior to this video existing, but bearing witness to it all happening firsthand to this video in particular was another thing entirely. Anything prior that I had achieved marginally similar success with (there were a couple that had broken 100k) was meant to be entertaining. It was meant for people to watch and go "I liked that", not for one guy on a forum to see and go "good work solving my maze Superman". I could classify the success as "neat, people liked that one" in my brain. This defied classification.

The only logical conclusion was that it truly didn't matter what I uploaded. It's all decided by a random machine picking things at random to serve random amounts of people, and the people click on it and watch it simply because it is there. You can poke at the machine, prod at the machine, try to guess what the machine likes, try to iterate on something the machine has previously demonstrated that it likes. It's all an effort to get the machine to put it in front of the people who will click it because it is there. That's what all the bigger capital-C Content Creators do. From the high level stuff of "what kind of things do I upload" to the low level minutia of "how many curse words can I say in the first minute", making it Big On Line in any capacity is about trying to appease an unknowable mechanical entity and nothing else. It's either that or you're "old money" in a sense, established before this all became the case.

And again, the bigger names do this. Entire companies do this. If I were "smart" I would have pivoted my entire YouTube channel to nothing but hour and a half long commentary-free bullshit hard ROM hack playthroughs. Maybe another one would hit like this did. But for the life of me I could not and cannot think of anything more soul crushing.

I wouldn't say I had aspirations to be a Big Time YouTube Man, but at that time I would have maybe liked to be a Moderate Size YouTube Man. Or a moderate size Twitch man. Someone who had people watching but was still able to have fun with it and do his own thing. This newfound realization that it was truly a random lottery, even beyond the random lottery that most of human life is, that becoming any size bigger than Small Time was literally decided by an actual factual random number generator, freed me from the desire to do anything that I didn't want to do. If actively chasing success on these modern, algorithmically-driven platforms, actively going after "Kaizo Sonic 2 Full Run" numbers, meant putting aside the things I like and reinventing myself and the things I do down to the minute details in order to appease a literal ghost beyond anyone's understanding or control that changes what it's looking for on a whim, then I did not want to do that. I did not want to keep a timer for when I could talk normal, I did not want to announce my streams on Twitter with the link in a separate reply one day, in an embedded image the next, and in my display name the next. If there is absolutely one thing I do not want to do in my life, it's dance for a robot.

But the most freeing thing about realizing this is that it also meant if I just kept doing stuff I liked, maybe, someday, I could get lucky enough to where the unknowable internet robot would push that in front of a million or so people. In the grand scheme of things it's about an equal chance of that happening on something I like and am proud of versus something I made in a desperate cloying attempt to placate an algorithm.

Anyway damn this got long and rambly sorry about that lol. This was initially meant to just be a little toast to the 5 year-ish anniversary of me fully becoming an Internet nihilist. Remember folks, it's meaningless to chase success in an algorithm dominated landscape. In the words of a certain extremely Normal-type man, "real life isn't all just being true to yourself", but I reject the notion that the Internet is not or should not be, in spite of the legion of ghouls and freaks at the top of the chain actively trying to make that the case every day.

Be true to yourself. Do what you love, make what you love, post what you love, and maybe if you're lucky a computer somewhere will decide it's your turn, because that's the single deciding factor in all of this. In the mean time, you'll end up slowly and naturally surrounding yourself with cool people who get you, if only a little bit. At least that's what's happened for me so far. I've been pretty alright with it.

#article

[spnfnaf]

Story of Us// Tomark

I’ve decided to create a Tomark story since the world needs more Tomark‼️ this story will take place from 1992-currently. I hope you guys enjoy!

TW// Light cussing!, mention of broken bones.

June 1st, 1992  at 5;40pm in Poway, California.

16 almost 17 year old Tom Delonge sat in his room, listening to his records. School was out and he had nothing better to do at the moment. He might ride his skateboard around for a while before the weather turns shitty. His older brother,  Shon, was currently at his girlfriend's house. Kari was having a sleepover at her friend's house, and their parents were out of town for the week. So Tom basically had the whole house to himself for now. He liked it when no one else was home. He enjoyed the peaceful feeling.

He could hangout with Scott. Scott was a few years younger than Tom, but he was pretty chill. They went to school together while Tom was still in middle school. Scott was going to be a freshman this coming year and Tom was going to be a junior. Tom's sister, Kari, would be in Scott's classes with him. They sometimes hangout whenever Scott is at the Delonge household. Scott only lived a few blocks down from Tom so it wouldn't be much of a walk. He soon got up, turning his record player off. Tom soon threw on his Descendents shirt along with his jeans and his converse. Grabbing his skateboard, he made his way down the steps and out the front door. Once he was outside, he hoped on his board, making his way to Scott's house. The sky was cloudy, but luckily it wasn't raining yet. He didn't mind the rain, he actually loved it. But, when he's trying to skate. Him and rain aren't the best of friends.

Once he made it to Scott's house, he noticed a few of their other friends were there. Including an unfamiliar car that he's never seen before. Weird. He thought to himself. Tom made his way into the house, seeing a few of his friends. He also saw Anne Hoppus. He knew her only because one of his friends was dating her. She lived in Ridgecrest, which was a 3-4 and a half hour drive. He was impressed that she made her way from there all the way to Poway for a little get together.

Anne soon noticed Tom and smiled a bit. She made her way over to the other. "Hi, Tom! I have someone for you to meet." She said. Before he knew it, she was dragging him outside to where a few people were. She took him over to a boy that looked very similar to her. "Mark, meet Tom. This is the boy I was telling you about. Tom, this is my older brother, Mark." She introduced the two. The boys looked at each other in awe for a moment before Mark spoke. "Nice to meet you, Tom. I heard you play guitar. That's pretty cool." He said with a soft smile. His eyes are so pretty. Tom thought to himself. He nodded and smiled a bit. "Yeah! I do. I've been playing for a few years now." Mark smiled a bit more. "That's cool, I play bass. We should totally jam out sometime." He said as he examined the taller male. Mark seemed to like this kid already. "Hell yeah, man!" Tom said.

Anne smiled as she watched their interaction. "Great! Now Mark has someone new to annoy for the next few days. I'll leave you two to chat. I'm heading back inside." She said before soon walking off.

Mark watched his sister for a moment before looking back at Tom. "So..uhm, what's your favorite things to do?" He asked, getting his packet of cigarettes out. He offered one to the other. Tom accepted it, wanting to seem cool to the other male. He really didn't know how to smoke, but maybe he could fake it. "I like to listen to music, ride my skateboard, sometimes draw, watch horror movies, and also learn anything and everything about aliens and other cryptic creatures." Tom was such a nerd when it came to aliens.

Oh my god, this kid is a nerd! But, I like him. Mark thought to himself as he listened to Tom speak. He giggled a bit at the mention of Aliens. "Aliens? Really? Well whatever floats your boat I guess. Don't worry, I think that's pretty cool. I've never really met someone who believes in that stuff. Well..minus the crackheads at the gas station." He laughed.

Tom laughed a bit before he smiled at him. "What about you then?" He asked as he watched Mark light his cigarette. The lighter was passed to him once Mark was finished. He took a drag from his cigarette before he spoke. "Well, I like playing bass, also skateboarding, listening to music, goofing off at college, annnnd..watching movies."

College? How old is he? Tom asked himself before lighting the cigarette. He soon handed Mark's lighter back to him as he took a hit from the cigarette. He attempted to inhale, but failed which caused him to start to cough. He cleared his throat before letting out a sigh. "You said you like goofing off in college..how old are you? Not to sound rude or anything. I'm just curious." He said.

"I'm 20, about to be 21 in March next year. What about you? You're not 14 are you? Cause if you were then you're pretty tall for a fourteen year old." He joked with him. The other shook his head softly, giggling a little. "No no, I'm 16 about to be 17 in December. Dude, try seeing my family. I'm literally the tallest one! I don't get it." He laughed.

Mark laughed as well before taking another hit. He was really starting to like Tom. Maybe they would become great friends. Maybe he could pull off that party trick of his. "You know what? This party or whatever is kinda lame. Do you know a place we could go?" He asked.

"I mean..we could go to my place? We can listen to music and chill. My parents and siblings aren't home so we basically have the house all to ourselves." He offered, hoping that Mark would want to hangout with him. Mark smiled and nodded. "Sure! Why the hell not. I'll just have to tell Anne I'm going with you for awhile."

Once the boys went inside, Mark told Anne where'd he would be in case she needed to get a hold of him. He didn't fully trust her being with her boyfriend, but he knew he couldn't be protective over her for forever. When him and Tom made their way outside, Tom got on his skateboard, looking over at the older boy and smiling at him. "Hop on, I don't want you to try and keep up with me." Mark smiled a bit as he accepted the younger boys offer. He held onto the taller males shoulder as he stepped onto the board. Once he was adjusted, he placed both hands on either side of Tom's waist. This caused Tom to blush a bit. He did have to admit, Mark was pretty cute. The two soon took off. They both smiled a bit as they enjoyed the ride. After a while, the boys eventually made it to the Delonge's house.

Once they got off the skateboard, Mark looked at Tom with a mischievous look on his face. "Wanna see a party trick of mine?" He asked. Tom nodded and smiled a bit. "Sure, what is it?" He soon watched as Mark began to climb up his light post. He laughed as he watched him. What the fuck is he doing? He can't be serious.

He thought to himself as he watched. Meanwhile Mark was trying to impress Tom with whatever at this point. So why not climb a fucking lamp post? What's the worst that can happen? I'm sure this will impress him. Mark thought to himself. Once he made it to the top. He looked down at Tom with a big smile. "Look, Tom! I bet you can't do that!" He laughed a little. "Now watch this!" He said, soon jumping off the pole. When he landed, he let out a painful scream. "FUCK!"

Tom watched in shock as he witnessed it. He rushed over to Mark, "What happened?!" He asked, worried. Mark groaned in pain as he sat on the ground. "I-I think I broke my heels. They fucking hurt dude." He said as he looked up at him.

What. The. Fuck. Tom thought to himself.

#tomark #tom delonge #mark hoppus #blink 182 #fanfic #travis barker #90s #2000s #budha #chesire cat #dude ranch #take off your pants and jacket #all the small things #i miss you #always.