#IT JUST SEEMS INEVITABLE.......

[lucabyte]

i need everyone else to understand that every time ive seen @samhainian doodle siffrin they've had a little star shaped bald spot on the back of their head. its basically canon to me now

#IT JUST SEEMS INEVITABLE....... #ALSO SORRY ABOUT THIS STUPID JOKE BEING MEGASPOILERS I COULDNT MAKE IT ANYONE BUT LOOP. SORRY. I THINK EVERYONE ELSE IS TOO POLITE #AND LOOP WOULD CARE. FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. #isat fanart #isat spoilers #isat act 6 spoilers #isat loop #isat siffrin #in stars and time #doodlebyte

[nerdgirlnarrates]

Even though it's been months since I switched from neurosurgery to internal medicine, I still have a hard time not being angry about the training culture and particularly the sexism of neurosurgery. It wasn't the whole reason I switched, but truthfully it was a significant part of my decision.

I quickly got worn out by constantly being questioned over my family plans. Within minutes of meeting me, attendings and residents felt comfortable lecturing me on the difficulties of having children as a neurosurgeon. One attending even suggested I should ask my co-residents' permission before getting pregnant so as not to inconvenience them. I do not have children and have never indicated if I plan to have any. Truthfully, I do want children, but I would absolutely have foregone that to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than anything. But I was never asked: it was simply assumed that I would want to be a mother first. Purely because I'm a woman, my ambitions were constantly undermined, assumed to be lesser than those of my male peers. Women must want families, therefore women must be less committed. It was inconceivable that I might put my career first. It was impossible to disprove this assumption: what could I have done to demonstrate my commitment more than what I had already done by leading the interest group, taking a research year, doing a sub-I? My interest in neurosurgery would never be viewed the same way my male peers' was, no matter what I did. I would never be viewed as a neurosurgeon in the same way my male peers would be, because I, first and foremost, would be a mother. It turns out women don't even need to have children to be a mother: it is what you essentially are. You can't be allowed to pursue things that might interfere with your potential motherhood.

Furthermore, you are not trusted to know your own ambitions or what might interfere with your motherhood. I am an adult woman who has gone to medical school: I am well aware of what is required in reproduction, pregnancy, and residency, as much as one can be without experiencing it firsthand. And yet, it was always assumed that I had somehow shown up to a neurosurgery sub-I totally ignorant of the demands of the career and of pregnancy. I needed to be enlightened: always by men, often by childless men. Apparently, it was implausible that I could evaluate the situation on my own and come to a decision. I also couldn't be trusted to know what I wanted: if I said I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than a mother, I was immediately reassured I could still have a family (an interesting flip from the dire warnings issued not five minutes earlier in the conversation). People could not understand my point, which was that I didn't care. I couldn't mean that, because women are fundamentally mothers. I needed to be guided back to my true role.

Because everyone was so confident in their sexist assumptions that I was less committed, I was not offered the same training, guidance, or opportunities as the men. I didn't have projects thrown my way, I didn't get check-ins or advice on my application process, I didn't get opportunities in the OR that my male peers got, I didn't get taught. I once went two whole days on my sub-I without anyone saying a word to me. I would come to work, avoid the senior resident I was warned hated trainees, figure out which OR to go to on my own, scrub in, watch a surgery in complete silence without even the opportunity to cut a knot, then move to the next surgery. How could I possibly become a surgeon in that environment? And this is all to say nothing of the rape jokes, the advice that the best way for a woman to match is to be as hot as possible, listening to my attending advise the male med students on how to get laid, etc.

At a certain point, it became clear it would be incredibly difficult for me to become a neurosurgeon. I wouldn't get research or leadership opportunities, I wouldn't get teaching or feedback, I wouldn't get mentorship, and I wouldn't get respect. I would have to fight tooth and nail for every single piece of my training, and the prospect was just exhausting. Especially when I also really enjoyed internal medicine, where absolutely none of this was happening and I even had attendings telling me I would be good at it (something that didn't happen in neurosurgery until I quit).

I've been told I should get over this, but I don't know how to. I don't know how to stop being mad about how thoroughly sidelined I was for being female. I don't know how to stop being bitter that my intelligence, commitment, and work ethic meant so much less because I'm a woman. I know I made the right decision to switch to internal medicine, and it probably would have been the right decision even if there weren't all these issues with the culture of neurosurgery, but I'm still so angry about how it happened.

#I would love to do something about this but I have no idea how to #even the faculty that I do really admire and respect seem entrenched in some of these attitudes #it's really hard to convince people that women aren't traitors in the making #simply because we might get pregnant one day and need time off #oh I also heard people shittalking a resident that was on maternity leave #and saying she wasn't serious about neurosurgery #so it's just inevitable #I'm not the only female student that feels this way btw #there's a reason no women have applied to nsgy from my school in years #sexism #neurosurgery #surgery #medicine #medical school #med school #med student #medblr #my content #my text posts

[ruporas]

soft (and some bittersweet)

#trigun stampede #trigun #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #i think they both spent majority of their lives in solitude and ofc vash went town to town and made friendships promises and etc along the w #way + he had his home and whatnot in the long years he's been alive but he still just seemed so lonely. #in prior versions of trimax he had friends at home at least and maybe he mightv made some but luida and brad are basically just his #guardians in this adaption. like brad used to be a homie.... vash watched that little dude grow up.... and jessica too.... but he doesn't #have that in this adaption. nor a town like july where he had grown close to the townspeople and shaped that tragedy to be closer to his #heart. and wolfwood spent years fighting under the eom and doing shit under their jurisdiction when we saw him so adamantly try to reject #and fight back against that fate. i dont think he had a second at all to get familiar with townspeople or even care to #so its just these two lonely ass souls and vash immediately seeing the good in ww and points it out #ww who is under orders again to be involved in vash's business but he's also SO touchy about it bc vash is so careless and lack that self #regard and also just is not seeing the world that ww is seeing. but then vash helps him and saves him by sharing a piece of what /he/ sees #and it fucking. rescrambled ww's brain for a sec. HE GAVE HIM HOPE!!! he gave him hope!!!! and in turn ww gave vash hope too and its #all done in like 3-4 eps. there's so much fervent attachment in what they managed to give each other in such a short time #but theyre limited to the contract to the inevitable confrontation with knives - so while theyd want to give into that chance to love this #person who managed to give them smth special they just can't at all #ruporas art

[furuba]

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snkedit #aotedit #gifs #ackerman supremacy #i used to wonder when and how levi would be k'd off because it seemed inevitable #but no this just made so much sense #like of course it would be the ackerman's who made it to the end to finish it

[vaguely-concerned]

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

#the unwanted guest #the unwanted guest spoilers #the locked tomb #ianthe tridentarius #augustine the first #pyrrha dve #palamedes sextus #this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate) #the locked tomb meta #the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though. #of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world #utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there #and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea #when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter #it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level' #she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him #because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing #to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after #IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival #ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god #gaining nothing at the cost of everything

[scintillyyy]

also i think there's a tendency to cherrypick tim's moments of morally grey thought musings as a gotcha for the idea that tim is totally cool with murder and just one bad day away from shanking someone only kept in line by the "rules", when in reality. tim's thoughts of moral greyness, the ruminations on what they're doing and why they're doing it the way they do and why they can't cross the line they set. he's not. alone in that. like. at ALL. dick has reckoned with wanting to kill someone (sigh. the joker). dick lowkey didn't want to give someone a chance at redemption simply because he hurt bruce (bane). bruce has thought about killing (and almost killed) both the joker & black mask. bruce is very frequently ruminating on his role and why he can't kill even if he wants to. barbara has very seriously considered killing and has wanted to kill. cassandra has killed and used that as the basis of her staunch belief that nobody dies tonight, but she's also still in frequent conversation with what that means ethically and morally. tim having doubts or trying to remind himself why they do what they do or debating their rules to himself is not some grand outlying abnormality here, it's par for the fucking course.

#barbara almost headshotted black mask but tim made a joke about using guns he's clearly barely refraining from killing someone /s #sorry. just. it's like tim always gets called out for this in particular and he's not even the worst offender #this is fucking gun batman's fault isn't it. he's my worst enemy for a reason and the worst mistake ever #was bringing him back after the one stupid story like he's some kind of inevitability when the point #is that tim would genuinely rather die than become him. #don't talk to me about that guy (gun batman) i hate him #anyways the point is that they're all in conversation with themselves about why they do what they do #it's actually super important that they are! because it's very human to want to go against your morals if it seems easier #and the point is that it takes strength of character to make a conscious choice to do what you think is right #even when it's hard and it's the last thing you want to do

[darlingboydiaz]

i thought it was a fandom headcanon that buck is bi, but no, i'm at episode 3x12 in my first time watching and the opening scene is literally maddie, chimney, buck and josh playing poker. they joke about setting up buck and josh, with maddie being adamant about the fact that she's not setting the two up because she knows they wouldn't click ("oh no, i like you way too much to set you up with my brother. (...) and i love you too much to let you keep being so incredibly, tragically single.") at no point does buck object to being set up with a man, he's only complaining about how hard dating is.

what i'm saying is, buddie season 7 canon?

#buddie #911 #911 abc #911 fox #maddie watches a new show and is queer enough to pick up on subtext it seems? #no really is this not acknowledged by the fandom??? #and also #that would make it way funnier if buck was literally just gonna go with a i thought you knew i was into men #when he inevitably confesses his love for eddie #or vice versa #i am not picky tbh #but no i really believed that buck not being confirmed as bi was the same as dean winchester bisexuality

[fromtheseventhhell]

"It's normal for siblings to fight" Okay well it's not normal to be extremely classist and look down on your sister for being non-conforming. Or to go to the woman who ordered the death of your pet to tell her about your father's plans, when he specifically warned you against doing so, because you want to marry the boy you saw attack your sister and her friend (contributing partially to said father's death and your sister being unable to escape on the ship he chartered). Or to think of your sibling as unsatisfactory in comparison to another when you believe her to be dead. I notice that none of the "Sansa and Arya are going to reunite and instantly have no issues" crowd ever acknowledge any of this, which makes it seem like they don't actually believe what they say about their relationship being normal and easily reconciled. People wanting them to have no issues simply because they're siblings is another example of how fandom likes to flatten complex characters and relationships. They get reduced to being bickering siblings when their conflict runs deeper than that. If the author is telling you that they have "deep issues" to work out [X], I don't understand being so adamant about ignoring said issues. I also get the sense it's about ignoring the capacity for a certain character to be flawed, but that isn't going to change the fact that her "slip of the tongue" is very likely to be revealed and a source of further conflict 🤷🏾‍♀️

#arya stark #sansa stark #house stark #asoiaf #also if it's so normal for siblings to fight then why are you guys losing your minds over us theorizing they won't get along?? #the amount of condescending /that's just how siblings act/ takes I see 🙄 #sorry I guess? that we read the book and don't just delete parts of the story because we find it convenient? #it's not even like takes about them being enemies is widespread the most I see is that they aren't instantly bffs when they reunite 😭 #some people theorize they'll never be close but guess what? that's a completely fair and valid assumption based on their relationship! #personally I think they'll have a sweet reunion before the issues they have inevitably surface again because while they've been through #a lot they haven't fundamentally changed as people or the values they hold #and I think that's going to be very interesting to read about! #I can't figure out why people always take the most boring bland route for how things will play out #mostly because people seem to be unable to swallow the concept that Sansa is a flawed character who isn't perfectly sweet all the time #and the fact that their conflict is instigated by Sansa's classism #which is funny cause in the grand scheme of things her being mean to Arya is such a mild thing that opens the door to a ton of growth #never seen anybody but stansas equating her being a bully to her sister to her being evil/a villain #all we do is point out that it exists in the story...people in this fandom have no concept of nuance I stg 😭 #anyways they're both complex characters and their conflict is interesting and I hope we get to see how it plays out #cause it's definitely going to be better then that trash d&d came up with 🙏🏾

[naturecalls111]

Wish I never had to sleep I wish I could just stay awake all the time and do nothing but draw and had no responsibilities

#nc111 talks #I remember once telling a friend that my ideal partner is one who takes care of everything for me #i dont even have to love them they just help with everything i need to have to survive while i draw #and she was shocked #she said she didn't expect that from me and that it couldn't be healthy i felt that way #and i was like #well. yeah. thats why its an ideal. that would never work ever in an irl context. the inevitable power dynamic diff is why i dont pursue it #like. i know thats not how irl relationships work and i would never subject a partner to that #i would never want someone I love to actually just deal with shitty stuff themselves while i stay selfish lol #hence why its a fantasy where i dont have to focus on an unachievable romance #i have a fantasy of the perfect romance in my head but the other ideal seems more attainable. that's why say fuuucckk it #someone does my taxes while i draw #imagine.... WHY WOULDNT THAT BE IDEAL? #Anyway im just rambling because i have class tomorrow and im upset i cant just stay up all night and draw everything i want to #anyone want to take a guess why im so extremely charmed and in love with sanji... LMAO

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

do you think that what the doctor usually feels for companions, rather than romantic or sexual attraction, might just be idolisation?

#just thinknig abt how 13 calls river 'on eof the best people ive ever known' #which might just be her echoing yazs words bc that seems to be the only way she knows how to communicate #but it's also like the most open i can think of the doctor ever being wrt how they feel abt river #and thinking of 10 in the satan pit going i dont believe in god i believe in rose instead #and how much of an influence rose had on the doctor #maybe its less the companion does a doctor arc and more the doctor and the companion will inevitably grow toward each other #clara and the doctor matched in specific ways that just like maybe amplified them #they didnt like balance out they become More Them #did everything the way the other wouldve done who wouldve done it the way they wouldve done #feedback loop #13 mightve worried for the same with yaz honestly #they wouldve become something very different to 12 and clara i think but no less powerful #terrifying in different ways #maybe less 'i'll kill the world to get you back' and more 'i'll kill myself to get you back' #more inward-focused in that part of it while more outward focused in the like adventure parts #Helping People rather than 12claras adrenaline junkie adventure seeking #not that thasmin arent also adrenaline junkie adventure seeking and 12clara dont want to help #just like a slightly shifted focus #i think thasmin want to feel....important. useful. helpful. more than 12clara. i think 12clara are just looking for a good time in each oth #rs company more #but idk #anyway do you think the doctor idolised yaz back as much as yaz idolised her? #DO you think yaz idolised her? #i have a really hard time getting int he doctors head abt companions. like how they feel abt them Really #but like. idolisation would be a really fun one to add into 13s head i think #what if she wants to impress yaz just as much as yaz wants to impress her oh my god #('tell me youre impressed')

[leverage-ot3]

I’ve connected some dots. I think

#i’ve connected the dots #i’ve connected them #parker can’t let eliot die. like not to begin with ofc but definitely not when he thinks he’s going to hell #not on her watch #eliot believes he’s going to hell so parker and hardison just. Keep Him Alive Forever #can’t face the seeming inevitability of eternal judgement if you never die lmao #it’s their equivalent of cheat codes god bless #robot bodies #redemption #eliot spencer meta #meta #eliot spencer #eliot spencer headcanons #leverage ot3 #parker x hardison x eliot #parker #alec hardison #conspiracy meme #memes #humor #but also I’m 100% serious #this eliot lore is driving me insane #leverage redemption #leverage #mine

[palebluebirdcomputer]

Vengeance of the Moon Knight theory

#following the theories about moon knight gaining godhood in a way similar to stained glass scarlet #moon knight #moon knight comics #vengeance of the moon knight #anyway #GET HIM!!! GET HIM!!! DO NOT LET THAT BASTARD GET AWAY!! #i love the new moon knight he seems like such an asshole and if he truly believes he is marc spector (and the theory is true) #then it is only going to be funnier and more tragic to see him hit an inevitable identity crisis when he realizes what he is. #i want to see the midnight mission chase him down and make him realize he is a shallow image of the man they knew. #and also for them to get him to stop being such a dick. #no idea if marc is somewhere in there #or if its just that marc's public persona has come to life and is literally just tearing up the place now. #either way it'd be a really fun way for the plot to go.

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Okay, just, before tonight... Can we accept that, given currently at a draw with both teams actually having been trying recently, blue and red are actually somewhat balanced, have both done crimes, and no matter who wins its nobody's fault what the consequences are except the Eye because that fucker has never given anyone sufficient info to work with?

#qsmp #bbh and phil's quick chat about how hopefully given they're drawing after the last “proper” day #the eye will consider neither of them to have lost #and therefore maybe they can only take some eggs home but the others won't /die/ #because tiebreak is probably inevitable but they can hope #seems overly hopeful but perhaps #also while I had to sleep and hit post limit a while before then #I do love how after the events everyone no matter the team just goes and hangs for a bit #which honestly? given that I doubt much will actually change back on island #because as soon as points aren't being scored they're just chilling together anyway

[viktoriakomova]

are we as a Community ready to have the conversation about how She is just a giant dumb bitch in general, re: stuff 0% connected to gymnastics ? like shes basically the undisputed goat as far has athletic performance goes but as a person god fucking damn she WORKS to undermine it all lmfaooooo

#shes the quintessential pick me #im not digging into all her baggage and trauma bc all gymnasts have it even post nassar #and/or never interacted with nassar. etc etc etc. its a toxic sport and thats inevitable at the highest levels u cant pin it on him #we are all very ready to have these discussions about beijing girlies and even increasingly ready about london girls #some who are not on twitter and just Poast on here are even brave enough to talk about suni and jordan #simone escapes in these Sessions every time it seems. and i get why dgmr but like. lmfao.

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

also this podcast LOVES to tell me hieronymous and sherman are having a crazy conversation offscreen and not let me SEE it--

#don't they KNOW how INVESTED i am in these guys.......... #they've now said TWO whole sentences in the same room you guys though DON'T even worry. #i wanted to see *saskia* reunite with sherman too... #and it certainly seems like saskia and harry only beat tzila there by about two minutes which is frankly very funny #plot twist tzila actually IS just as competent as her 12-year-old mind thinks she is #and there are going to be NO problems-- #thank GOD the four of them are in the same room now though. i bet that's going to be crazy when things inevitably go to shit. #probably immediately! #midst podcast #midst #midst spoilers #midst podcast spoilers

[donut-entendre]

I say a lot that Wash isn't empathetic when talking about people giving him Carolina's personality, but I don't think that really explains my thinking. Empathy is too vague of a concept in discussion of character.

Wash cares a lot about people. Wash cares so much it hurts. He trains the Chorusans without being asked, on his own initiative. He doesn't leave the reds and blues at the first sign of trouble. He's traumatized by violence by his own hand that he still agrees with the logic of, he remembers what he's done to people and while he doesn't regret it, it still haunts him. He doesn't want to care so bad but he does, he cares so much that violence against relative strangers hurts. Even if it was his best choice. Even if it was his only choice.

Carolina doesn't want people to know violence like she does. Carolina wants to tackle the whole world to keep it away from the ones she loves. Carolina wants to be the one to handle everything, to keep war off the doorstep.

Washington knows violence, and well. He thinks it is something that sometimes is the best option. He knows how to make the people he loves capable of protecting themselves. So he does.

Carolina is someone who wants to protect. Washington is someone who wants to teach people to protect themselves. Carolina wants to be the one to offer shelter in the rain. Washington wants to burn the fire so hot and so bright the rain evaporates before it can ever touch them, so hot it never even comes down, so bright no one could ever get lost. And he wants to teach everyone he cares for just how to do it, too.

Just in case it ever rains.

#it may seem like i went off topic immediately. but trust me. it's a hard concept to communicate. #logical 'empathy' where you care but you don't understand. you don't share it. it's hard to articulate. #it feels stupid. why do people care so much about this temporary problem? it's so obvious to you how trivial it is. #but they still care. even if you can't understand. and you care about them. so you show them how to approach it. #maybe your answer is callous. maybe it doesn't quite grasp the complexity of the situation #but it's what you know. it's what you can offer. maybe it's just inevitable that you will cause pain no matter what you do. #very autistic of him! #rvb #rvb washington #rvb carolina #nonsense thoughts