#Im not bussy like i dont have time

[ruvigapo]

Lowered the dosage on my adhd medicine this week.

Fingers crossed i don't Regret That 😅🤞🤞

In other news, bussy but also eyeing my wips and to do lists respectfully

I want to draw tm9 again SO BAD

#Please life #Give me a free day where other things aren't more pressibg please #Im not bussy like i dont have time #I just also wNt/need to do other things #But im getting the itch again #I think if i dont draw smth soon ill simply combust tbh #Its that kinda life im living #Muffin rambles #Personal #Been vibing to me gen cr playlists for a bit now woof feeling things

[citrus-sours]

I'm so fucking tired hi how r u guyz

#day 3 of nonstop puking right next to my head #my mom is so sick and shes. well loud about it. #like dry heave as loud and as forceful as possible and dont forget 2 add a little scream and thats. my life rn. #every hour. i cant sleep for more than 10 mins at a time #and im not mad at my mom. if it sucks for everyone else in the house it must be awful for her #but just RARUGHHH BITCH STOP THROWING UP RIGHT NEXT TO ME I HAVE WORK IN 2 HOURS. #orange is typing... #if yall see me active mind ur bussiness. i have become an insomniac in a matter of days

[litt1e-prince]

epic win! the prince thats going to rescue you is wearing trainers -- obviously. he cant run away from the dragon in high heels!

#did a life drawing class today with a drag king #took the time to realise i dont know how to draw shoes and that i should for sure learn #aLSO IF THESE ARE BLURRY JUST . IDK MIND UR OWN BUSSINESS IG CAUSE THESE IMAGES?? #A STRUGGLE TO GET #was fighting my lil laptop so hard had to move the file to my big laptop #anyway i have gotten. too comfortable with sketching fabric and figure drawings it is time i actually put detail into my art again #but me? me personally? im lazy by nature #maybe one day #maybe another week! maybe! #we'll see! we'll find out ig! #my art #smudgie art #sketches #i hope it is obvious to see where i stopped caring about my art and started to b in pain #cause the chairs i was sitting in?? owwwww my baaaack #aLSO YEAH THAT IS DOJIN IN THE SKETCH #I GOT BORED #AND I DREW DOJIN BUT W THE IDEA OF HIM WEARING A SNOODIE #LIKE- TURNING HIS SCARF INTO A HOODIE. FOR WHEN HE SNEAKS AROUND U KNO

[asurix]

emo choso.... emo boy choso... c'mon f me emo boy choso... brainrot

OMG YESSSS EMO CHOSO, you're so real for this anon, imagine cumming on emo choso's fingers OASJASHAJ

Genre: choso x fem!reader, emo choso, dom!choso, sub!fem!reader

Content warning: degration,fingering,vaginal sex,oral,sex,public sex, train grope,loads of scenerio in one post, non con, dub con(in different scenerios, brain rot(putting my soul into this writing this 12 am in the night, kissing,swearing.

im legit so excited for this omg like anon ilysm, imagine just imagine choso finger fucking you on a train in public omg degrading imagine omg hJSAJSAJSH

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 CHOSO

you and choso were roomates, unlike choso, you were kind, warm, friendly and nice, you were the sun, but for choso, he was aloof,mean,irritated easily, and was also in his room glooming, he was the moon to you're sun, you and Choso didn't have romantic feelings for eachother, you both knew it, but everytime he brushed his hand against you're whike you're both standing at the fridge trying to reach the last packet of milk? you cant help but blush a bit of his touch, of course you didn't let Choso see you blushing because he would bully you for all enternity, later that night you were touching yourself to Choso, moaning his name out quietly so that he couldn't hear you, but oh but little did you know, he was listening at the next room, listening to you touch yourself to him.

The next day you both had to go to the groceries to buy milk,eggs and bread you asked choso to tag along because he's that person that says he doesn't need anything but then calls you, what a pain he is, you were taking the train to tokyo city, to go to a convinence store, you both were in the train, it was a busy day today, so there was a few extra people, you both had to stand, Choso was behinde you and you were infront of him, you were infront of the train door due to the lack of space, while you were waiting for the station, you felt a touch underneath you're skirt, you're tight, oh god oh god, a train groper?! where is choso? wasn't he just behinde me? you looked behinde you to see who was the gropist, all for you to find out, it was Choso?, ''choso w-what the hell,was that you?'' you whispered just so that you both could hear eachother, ''yeah it was me so what?'' he scoffed, he grabbed you're ass, ''you better be quiet about this, going around making me hard, touching yourself to me in you're bed'' he frowned, he knew? he knew i was touching myself last night?? oh god how? i was quiet?! right?, ''u-uh what makes you think i was touching myself'' you cleared you're throat, ''you were hella loud idiot'' he's expression showing how annoyed he is, ''w-well mind you're bussiness for gods sake!'' you said a bit loudly, but calmed yourself down, after you realised you were loud, ''how can i mind my own bussiness when you're touching yourself to me, hm?'' he asked raising an eyebrow, ''i-i god i dont know...'' you whinged, he started pulling down you're panties, making you whimper, you held the leverage, ''d-dont choso, not here atleast'' you said irritated but horny all at the same time, he dragged a line down you're pussy, the nectar dripping on his fingers, he slowly put his hand to his mouth, then licked his fingers dry, ''you're so impossible Choso-'' you said whimpering, you felt his erect poke in you're ass, ''d-dont do what i think you're gonna Choso please not in a train'' you groaned, ''dont worry ill be quiet'' he grinned, he took out his hard cock, pressing it against you're cunt, he pushed his tip inside you causing you to quietly yelp, ''f-fuck you're so tight...'' he whined in you're ear. ''if i dont destroy you as soon as were home'' he groaned in you're ears, he took out tip out of you're cunt, you were left panting due to the overstimulation, you looked back at Choso, and he exhaled putting his twitching cock back into his pants, as soon as he was finished he started rolling his hips with youre's, making you whine a bit, he started grinding on you're ass until you guys reached you're station.

After you guys went home, you put the groceries on the kitchen counter, you could feel the atmosphere being...not as it used to, fighting, yelling and annoying eachother, it was just...quiet, all tho you could hear Choso...breathing...weirdly, ''h-hey Choso are you al-'' just as you were about to finish you're sentence you got cut off by Choso grabbing you're waist, picking you up, walking to his bedroom, closed the door then threw you on the bed, ''you know...'' he said taking his shirt off while talking, ''this was were i heard you touching yourself to me'' he grinned getting on top of you on his bed, you blushed at the sight of the anti-social man on top of you panting, his erect brushing on you're leg, ''t-the fact you even listened is weird!'' you yelled, ''does it even matter? you were touching yourself to me!* he scoffed, you groaned turning you're eyes away from him to look anywhere but directly at him, he grabbed you're chin, reaching to your lips, sharing a tendering kiss with you, making you're stomach flip upside down. he flopped on the bed taking you with him, now you're on top of him, ''now what...'' you say shyly, ''i fuck you rough thats what'' he grinned, grabbing you're waist, pulling you're panties out of the way just for him to push his tip inside you, ''ah~ Choso dont go to d-deep...'' you whine, he pauses for a quick 5 seconds before slamming inside you without any warnings,

''WHAT THE FUCK?! CHOSO, NGH s-shit so deep...!'' you cry out, ''didn't feel like preparing you'' he rolled his eyes, ''f-fuck you're so tight are you a virgin?'' he asked curiously, ''NO!'' you yelled at him moaning at the same time due to the pain, ''what a bummer, wanted to be you're first'' he frowned a bit but switiching to a grin, he grabed you're face kissing you again, you can taste the coke he drank while you guys were picking out groceries, ''mhm~'' you muffled, Choso pulled away, he raised a eyebrow, ''what?'' he asked a bit irritated by you're interruption, ''s-stop biting my tounge'' you whimpered, Choso still fucking you're cunt, after 1 hour of panting and moaning, he finally released his thick seed inside you, ''fuck...'' he groaned, you came right after him moaning as well, ''damn...we should fuck more often'' he looked up at you, you were still on top of him processing what just happened, ''are you serious Choso?!'' you groaned, ''i sure as hell am'' he rolled his eyes, before grabbing you're chin capturing you're lips to his, for a kiss, you felt his tounge inside you're mouth, swirling around, exploring and tangling with you'res

After a day

A day after the intense sex you both had the tension between you both was really akward, you both greeted eachother but after that... complete silence, after minutes of silence, Choso broke the silence, ''h-hey uh how was..'' he cleared his throat ''last...night..'' he akwardly smiled at you, ''oh yeah uh...it was quite nice actually, i enjoyed it'' you smiled geniually at Choso, ''so what are you eating for breakfast Choso'' you asked trying to keep the conversation alive, ''oh yeah uh im just thirsty thats all'' he looked away thinking about something, ''oh..would you like a glass of water?'' you titled you're head, ''n-no'' he turned a bit red, ''oh what you want orange juice, apple juice pineapple juice?'' you tried figuring out what Choso wanted ''can...i have you're juice..?'' he asked glaring at you, ''m-my what?'' you're face flushed with red, ''you're juice'' he said again confidently, ''n-no you ca-'' you got cut off by Choso lifting you up then making you sit on the kitchen counter, he pushed you're body back a bit so you're lower body was a bit outside the kitchen counter, you were still wearing panties, he pulled the panties to the side before licking a stripe on you're wet cunt, you gasped a bit at the sudden move, ''ngh~ choso-'' you moaned out, he contiuned licking you're cunt, he started sucking on you're clit, he burried his face in to you're cunt, not one drop of nectar escaping, after minutes of choso eating you out, he finally finished, ''what a nice breakfast'' he grinned, he went to the living room to play games, leaving you drained out on the kitchen counter.

#smut #choso x reader #choso x female reader #jjk men #choso kamo #jjk choso #fanfic #jjk smut #jujutus kaisen #౨ৎ — archive

[g-xix]

yeah sidemen eating pussy is nice but what about GETTING their pussy ate. that's right, ass eating hcs when 👀👀👀

AHHHHHHHHHh IVE NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF THIS

ngl reading "getting their pussy ate" was a whole ass JUMPSCARE to read LOOL i thought u were talking ab bussy for a sec and i did NOT realise that there was ppl like that in the fandom 😭😭

Tbh tho i dont think ive ever thoguht of this, mayb bc im j not into it but also i feel like it's a lot more uncommon??? I can't say that imma do anything in depth for this bc it's not my speciality per say, Anon, but lemme do some quick HC's for u here:

TOBI -Deffo would prefer getting a straight n plain bj than ass eating lol -Tries to be quiet when he's getting it done bc even though he can feel the pleasure from stimulation, it feels so... weird? -Will let out a hummmf at most, litch is squeezing his lips shut to try not to make noise -deffo needs some tlc and words of affirmation afterwards, bc the post-nut clarity of this one makes him feel v mixed tbh

JJ -First time he had it happen he was kinda surprised to have your mouth there, kinda jumped n pulled away to ask wth -U just shushed him n told him to trust the process n went back to yo thang -He was kinda begrudging at first but slowly realised more and more the way that he liked it... -Replacing your tongue w a finger n then two, scissoring them inside him he had a completely new sensation n had an orgasm different to any that he'd had before

HARRY -LoudLoudLoud!!! -Whiny w it, impatient n shuffling n moving to help u reach that spot that he's so desperate for u to stimulate -his hand's wrapped around his cock, stroking n providing double stimulation that has his mind spiiiiinning -And ofc we've all seen the lie detector vid where he's admitted that there's perchance been a finger up his bum -Well, his dirty secret is that he loves to sit on a face n have them alternate between ass eating, or paying attention to his balls whilst u finger his ass

ofc no Vik, Simon, Josh or Ethan bc they're married, engaged n baby-daddy respectively

My word i feel like i violated my eyes n laptop by writing this

Hope u did enjoy that tho anon

#WAFFLE!! #harry #wroetoshaw #harry lewis #w2s #harry lewis smut #wroetoshaw smut #tobjizzle smut #tobi brown #tobjizzle #ksi #jj olatunji #sidemen #headcanons

[man1ae]

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒃𝒊𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒆 (𝒊𝒚𝒌𝒚𝒌)

ft: eren jeager,armin arlert,reiner braun,jean kirstin

[Im doing this instead of my collage papers so ppl better see this😿]

NOT PROOF READ!!!

Eren

His dick us around average or what you would expect,around 6ish inches but MY GOD does he know what hes doing😏

He seems like the time to tease you till you beg for him the be inside you and then edge you till hes satisfied

He wont stop until you cum,even if hes tired and over stimulated he wants the sense of achievement knowing he made a girl cum

He is MEAN,if you tell him to go ruff prepare for him to beat your pussy black and blue,he wont stop till youre screaming his name,even when hes going easy on you it has your legs shaking,your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your head wipped back

Hard dom,but we already knew that

When hes feeling up for it once he penetrates you he will use your cunt as a cock warmer while rubbing clit,then he waits for you to cum on his dick to start thrusting into you,MY GOD😩

armin

Hes a little smaller than you think,around 5-6 inches but MY GOD THE GIRTH🥵a sold 3-4 inches😩🖐️

mommy kink. Did i even have to say¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Is a switch but is a really soft dom,but when you tell him to be ruff he will have you screaming his name while you cry from overstimulation

Loves when you suck him off😻when hes completely naked and you have his legs over your shoulders while you suck him dry😩🥵he could cum just thinking about it

He loved when you have him laying on his back and your on top of him riding him

If hes feeling in an especially good mood😏he will get a good grip on your hips and thrust up into you

He will give you love bites wherever he can get his mouth on although his favorite places to give you them are your neck and nipples,he loves when you do the same to him as well

Did i mention armin is a mega bisexual king and likes when you put on a strap in and fuck his ass till he cant speak😏

He returns the favor by sucking on your clit though

jean

Not much girth but in length hes a solid 8 inches😻

He can hit you DEEP,loves kissing you cervix with his tip,the way you cry his name makes him so hot

His loves when he has your legs pinned up against you chest and hes on top thrusting into you,he can penetrate you so deep like this😍

He always makes it a goal to have you cum first,he loves the feeling of your gushing on his dick and your walls clamp around him

He is loud in bed and is not ashamed of it,will moan very loudly when he cums and has no shame.

Will sometimes sub and when he does his is a soft sub

Cock warms with your mouth.

Once you are done he will stay inside you till hes soft(or until you say so) and then watch yours and his cum drip out of you.

Pulls you in and overloads you with kisses while you are both still naked🥺

Reiner

LONG GIRTHY😍😍😍 around 7-8 inches length and about 3 itches girth😻

Hard dom and soft sub

Know how to work with his fingers😏will have your legs shaking and your pussy squirting all over him,you get a lil embarrassed when this happens but he loves it

I feel like hes had a minor mommy kink,hes not really into that but one time while you where sucking him off he yelled "Ooh,mommy dont stop,let me cum in your mouth." It was very unexpected and you both had a laugh about it after but it turned you on greatly

Moans really loud without even realising,yall will be getting down to bussiness in a bathroom stall at a club and he will suddenly yell "oh fuck!" And then quickly cover his mouth but the people around you will have already heard

Doesnt actually realize how big he is until hes towering over you and your whining and trembling under him

Would defenetally use bedroom toys to spice things up a bit😏

i feel like when you are domming he would love it when you say stuff like," you re such a dirty boy" or "could you be a bit loader for me my love" MY GOD😩🖐️

TY FOR READING ILYYY<33

HAVE A GOOD DAY WHEREVER YOU ARE :)))

#aot x reader #snk #snk x reader #anime and manga #aot imagines #eren jeager #eren smut #eren x reader #armin arlert #armin smut #armin x reader #jean kirstein #jean smut #jean x reader #reiner braun #reiner smut #reiner x reader

[thesituation]

No the botox/plastic surgery thing is so true bc its not just the money and time that makes it insane to do due to social pressure,, but also the fucking pain of it all?? I had to undergo plastic surgery for ‘necessary’ reasons (which are none of anyones bussiness, youre just gonna have to trust me on this) and yk what?? It fucking sucks ass. It feels like youve been mutilated. Everything reeks of blood and death. You dont look like yourself in the mirror due to bandages and swelling (which is genuinely so scary, i couldnt look at myself for so long) and healing takes rlly long!! What im trying to say is, plastic surgery is not just some purchase,, its fucking horrible to go through. To undergo that for ‘societal pressure’ makes you a masochist that likely hates themselves. I would never do this to be ‘prettier’ bc i legit think that would be like long term self harm. Also sorry for the rant love u!!

no exactly, my manager had a breast reduction and she talks about it like it was almost more traumatizing than her two C sections. like if your sole reason for going thru all that is “i want to look hotter” you’re INSANE & i do not respect it

#answers

[monkiebois]

Okay dont get me wrong i LOVE mei pigsy and tang.

but

now hear me out

ynow how the jttw gang always kinda--how do i say this--hurt wukong. now wukong didnt hate them and im not saying that jttw gang and lmk gang are the same but they ARE thier reincarnations. idk ever since i started watching lmk i noticed something odd with the gang. and maybe its for plot convenience but it always stuck out to me.

they dont really listen to mk.

you could argue that mk kept lbd a secret from the others bc he didnt want to put them in danger--which yeah he did say that BUT-- i think it was really because they werent listening to him and he didnt want to seem like a burden.

ynow how when children try to say something to thier parents but the parent brushes them off annoyingly so now the child thinks thier a burden and that they should keep the thing to themself.

yeah.

cause if i remember correctly during shadow play mei was talking about the things mk would ramble anxiously about and she mentioned a "bone demon" i dont think she exactly meant it as "oh its just annoying" i think she meant it as "chill out and have fun" theyre talking about how he keeps going off to do monkie kid stuff instead of hanging with them and honestly i think theyre being kinda selfish.

i mean if i was the monkie kid.

and i had the fate of the world/my family/my friends resting on my shoulders then i'd be pretty determined to be a good monkie kid and work my ass off to be the best monkie kid i can be which mk is doing.

but they always say something like "its fine" or "we have your back" maybe mk does get anxious a bit too much but think about it.

they might have his back.

they might always be there for him

but in the end (at least b4 mei got the samadhi fire) they dont have the same power mk does. they dont have the same weight on thier shoulders.

if dbk came back during these seasons as strong as he was in the pilot who's responsibility would it be to save the city? the gang can evacuate everyone but its up to MK

his strength. his friends might be the support but mk is the hero. they dont understand that. acting like he just needs to chill out and spend more time with them. idk im rambling rn and this makes no sense at all i just feel like in the first three seasons they just...act a bit strange when it comes to mk's monkie kid bussiness.

(b4 samadhi fire)

"oh we're a team. its up to all of us"

"Mei your not the one here that has the powers of a god"

"im a dragon tho!"

"and im the succesor of the monkey that could only be taken down by buddha himself get on my level"

(post samadhi fire)

"hah, now i have god powers too"

"...okay maybe now you'll understand the pressure ive been under that you guys keep undermining"

"huh?"

"yeah thats what i thought. lov ya girl. call me when the weight of safety of the world starts breaking you down" * pogo staffs away *

"....huh?!"

#wordscribbles #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #pigsy #lmk tang #lmk mei #mk

[lifepaint]

Hello :>

So, dont have any idea who will read this or what, but, my name is Lifepaint and Im new here on Tumblr! While I do make quite alot of art, do to my life being fairly bussy atm, I dont know how much Ill post original stuff here. But if you are interested to see some of my art, feel free to check out my Deviantart profile!

Im mostly interested in media such as video games, movies, tv shows, animation, anime, writing, and art in general!

I mostly ascosciate my social media with some video games Im into are Zelda, Metal Gear, Fallout, Assassisn creed, minecraft, God of War and a hella ton more that would make this blog longer than it needs to be-

Also really love star wars, Dragon ball, dc and marvel related media :>

When I post any original stuff here it will most likely be fan art of stuff I like. I hope it will be worth your time ^^ But Ill mostly do reblogs for the time being, I hope I get to know more awesome people while Im here :D

Here are some of the rules I copy and pasted from my DA:

-Please do NOT steal, use or redraw any of my work without my permission!

-Collabs are for friends only.

-Art Trades are mostly for friends too, aswell as mutuals. And only I decide if I want to have an art trade with someone who is neither of that ^^;

-Do NOT sell my art as NFTs, I strongly forbid it!

-Do NOT use my art for AI!

-Any innapropriate comments or questions about my personal life will be deleted.

-Construstive critisim is always welcome! Feel free to tell me your thoughts!

-I dont do follow to follow, so please no guilt tripping

-Dont try to get me mixed up on a drama which has nothign to do with me.

If I have more to say here I may edit this, or make an updated blog Hehe

But yeah um, lookign forward to what this site has to offer :D Feel free to tell me anyhtign I should know as a newcomer :>

[aspec-advice]

Hey! So I think I might be on the ace spectrum in some way but im still questioning and could use some help

I know I feel attraction and like romantic feelings and things like that but I feel a bit off about sex-stuff sometimes I guess (this feels a bit strange talking about haha but I will try). For example I dont really feel like it unless I know the other person does, like its fine and I can enjoy it and get in the mood but i dont really initiate anything cause I would enjoy just cuddling and kissing just as much. I don't really feel the need for sex to be honest, even though I may enjoy it when it happens. And sometimes i get a bit grossed out with it in a way, all the not dry and clean things makes my skin crawl sometimes?

I guess I just want to feel like my feelings are valid cause I know they are but I cant really talk to anyone about it. And my ex was fine about it, like he absolutely wouldnt do anything he knew I didnt like but he also didn't really understand cause when I brought it up like how I didn't really need sex he took it personal and interpretated it like it meant that i didn't love him as much or wasn't as in love as he was or that I wasn't as attracted to him even though I know it isn't like that. I still think people look hot or attractive and I was as much in love as he was, I just enjoy other forms of intimate stuff in a relationship more

Also, finding a label wouldnt be bad cause even though I dont think I will ever tell anyone because I don't think its any of their bussiness it would be nice to have something to search for on the internet and read about others experiences to make me feel more normal. Cause I think it is something normal, its just a personal preference and it doesnt mean anything else than just that

hi!! i completely understand what you're saying, i'm very similar to you in that i don't mind sex like as a concept or actually in practice it's just not something that i need in a relationship, and like you, i would rather just hang out and cuddle and kiss or whatever. your feelings are completely valid, i definitely feel like that all the time. in addition to that i've also not ever experienced sexual attraction, i've never been with someone and looked at them and wanted sex it's more of an option that the other person says, which seems to be what you're describing. i personally label myself as asexual, because asexuality is a spectrum and being sex-neutral is part of that which is what i am, like i don't mind either way. if you want to look more into asexuality and what the spectrum looks like i think that would be helpful and some specific labels you can look into are demisexuality and graysexual! i hope this helps and if you have any more questions you can dm here or on my personal tumblr (weareliterallyonfire), i can help to explain more in depth or just explain some of the things i meant here!

mars

#asexual #demisexual #graysexual #aspec advice #ace asks #asexual asks

[fishnotfoundie]

Ive realized that my problem with these controversies it isnt the controversy itself, its the fact that in twitter i feel like i have to have the same opinion or else ill get effing cancelled over it.

I understand that people may not feel safe and that the first content on the platform is what people have been asking a long time ago and they feel pressured to tap into the stream because dream is in there. You dont have to watch it if you dont want, dont blame dream on this and also dont shit on sapnap more on this dumb decision he took.

You were telling his intentions are good and everything but the moment you see content you want on there its conflicting becaude while you want to watch you dont want to give attention to a platform full of shitness. Im just gonna say that what you do its not my bussiness and ngl im not gonna watch not only for that but bc im tired af rn lol.

Im gonna probably see what peps are saying on tumblr than seeing people go full angry on twitter because im very sensible and seeing twitter had me dissociating a lot.

#kick discourse

[claralouvette]

im just going to express and vent some feelings, but ya'll can just avoid

will someone care? well idk

im just tired, and i felt like crying, ending the term in a mid notes. I did passed two of my main extreme exams, got into a scholarship, but im left drained and unmotivated because people around the community doesn't believe in me, except my parents (mom i love you thank you so much for everything)...

I'm a student council with a position of second year batch representative on my architecture community and were in a middle of finding a new people to replace us. I'm was planning to run as a third year batch rep, because i really enjoy interacting with students and helping them (even tho its still getting annoying with the repetitive questions/ concerns) but i still enjoyed helping them, you could feel how thankful they are when you helped them. but inside the student council they didn't believe in my potential because i was mainly inactive on the events at school, only within reach on messages, i can agree i cant always be at school because of the 3 hour travel time (you may just say "well get a dorm" i dont have enough budget for that.) but i still try my best to help the students, but they dont see that. I'm tired whever there are meeting, i can just feel that im not welcome anymore, is it just because im not always activine in such events???, sometimes when i try to clarify something for the announcements im making they just ignore me. why are they like this, i cant handle it i felt like a bomb just wanted to explode with tears. Now in the group chat (which i rarely click and see), i can see notifications of there message where they just trash talk about my performance and now finally they have someone who can replace me. guys im trying my best, if only if you could give me a chance to explain myslef, but if this is how you treat me then im so sorry for how my actions have caused you.

i guess its partly my fault, joining such organization, while trying to focus at studies to maintain my scholarship, helping my mom with her bussiness so that we can have funds and 3 meal a day.

life is just... i dont know

this was just a messy rant im sorry my head was a mess too im really sorry

#vent

[my-monologues-to-my-brain]

Re reading aftg and im just. Broken. These god damn twins. Neil rightly points out they can barely stand the sight of each other on a good day, but they still fiercely care about each other and only upon re read did it fully hit me. And, boy, did it fucking hit me. These stubborn, traumatized, mean idiots. They would kill for each other and they do, but they dont understand each other one fucking bit and now i cant unsee how easily they couldve given up on each other but refused to.

Andrew cared for Aaron as much as he ever did even when Aaron hated him for keeping his promise: even when Aaron hated Andrew and assumed that he killed Tilda for his own reasons, despite the fact that Andrew had done so to keep the promise he made to Aaron, to protect him. We know how angry Andrew is about that. The first time Neil sees a glimpse of the intesity and fury that Andrew hides behind his indiference is when the twins briefly argue in the stadium and Andrew almost casually confesses to killing Tilda in front of all the foxes. Aaron denies Andrew having done that for him, and when Andrew says that just because Aaron decided to forget about that promise that didnt mean he wasnt going to keep it, and that fuck him for expecting anything else, theres real anger in his eyes. To him its obvious. Hes been clear about it. He keeps his promises, hes brutal not because of some sociopathic inability to care but because he cares fiercely. But Aaron doesnt understand that. Or him. And they dont talk about it. But as much as Andrew despises him for that, he never stops caring.

And Aaron. Boy. Reading the story knowing where we were heading allowed me to see a lot of things i hadnt fully taken in on first read, and Aarons arc is one of the many things that hit different. Hes so sure that his brother not only doesnt care, but is in fact incapable of caring. And it doesnt change a fucking thing. He hates Andrew, but he never gives up on caring for him as fiercely as Andrew cares for him, and it fucking breaks me. Hell of a thing, really. To never fully withdraw, to care that much, with that intesity, all while being so completely certain that it was a one way street. To Aaron, Andrew would never care. Not really. To Aaron, there was no changing Andrew or his sociopathic tendencies. And it didnt change a fucking thing. He made peace with that fact, in a way: knowing that Andrew would never feel their dinamic the way he did, it didnt change the fact that Aaron cared. Through hate and while never shortening the distance between them, he cared. He kills Drake in a way that rightfully mirrors Andrew killing Tilda. And he is one of only people in the entire series to actually look out for Andrew, concerned about Andrew being in danger and not just being a danger to others, which is why he sets to confront Neil to check what is going on between the two. The only other people who we see being aware that Andrew is in fact human enough to be hurt are Wymack, Bee and, of course, Neil. Everyone knows Andrew can physically hold his own in a fight, and most of them do not even consider how someone could hurt Andrew, even after Drakes abuse, and their obliviousness is not there out of malice but its there none the less. Aaron not only cares enough about Andrew to get himself up in his and Neils bussiness (though in a much smarter way than Nicky, who tried to be nossy and almost got stabbed for his troubles cause of course he did), but he also is concerned and suspicious when he learns about their relationship cause he actually thinks of protecting Andrew. Aaron confronts Neil in a purposely cruel way, and he has to know the likelihood of that ending with him being punched by Neil (as he in fact did) and possibly Andrew, hes not dumb, but he goes for it and very especifically evaluates Neils reaction. Aaron does like being a dick to Neil, but thats not something he would just do for the fun of it. He doesnt even need to figure out Neils stand on the relationship in terms of getting Andrew off of his and Katelyns backs: that hinges on Andrews view of the relationship, not Neils. They havent yet fixed their issues, the twins dinamic is still shaky at best, but Aaron not only cares about Andrew, he cares about Andrew in a way barely anyone thinks of caring for him.

They both had enough reasons to give up on each other. They wouldnt drop out of each others lives entirely, they couldnt, being in the same university, in the same team, with promises of sticking with each other until graduation, yet they still couldve given up on every other level. But they didnt.

Why stick with someone who cant be reached?

Why stick with someone who doesnt think theres enough of you to be reached?

I think of Neils words to Kevin. You just need to be more afraid of letting go than you are of holding on.

After all they went through, the twins still knew they didnt want to let go of each other.

Its easy to see strained relationships and just cut ties. Sometimes theres not enough to save. Sometimes distance is the only way to heal. I think of Nicky and his parents. I think of Kevin and Jean. But sometimes theres healing after rock bottom. Sometimes theres enough will on both parties to mend whats broken and build something better. Sometimes theres enough people around you willing to stand with you and remind you of that will. And so we heal.

Somehow, we heal.

#aftg #aftg trilogy #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #neil josten #palmetto state foxes #all for the game #the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men

[sankyeom]

BELLEEEEEEE MY BELOVED HOW HAVE YOU BEEN I HAVE MISSED U SO MUCH I AM NOT KIDDING I HAVE UPDATES W MY LIFE SO PLEASE UPDATE ME TOO <33

warning very long rant upcoming mentions mental health issues kissing relationships being high (jokig manner being high on adrenaline) eating and idk what else

1 mental health has been going down hill its so bad i have gone back to my old habits of studying for 4 hrs ish????? and crying for like a 6.3 out of 7 very very bad

2 im SEEING SOMEONE RN⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ HELLO AURI LOVER ERA SLAYYYYYY but yeah i like him 😿😿😿 a lot 😿 hes so nice super funny and makes me really happy he makes me forget ab my problems and those things are super important to me in a relationship ALSO HE LIKED ME FIRST???? like we were coming back from ene (i will explain later in the "update letter?? " what is ene) aND WE WERE 7 PEOPLE IN 1 CAR 😭😭😭 so there was 5 persons on the back thats like designed for 3 people😭 we left one friend at the school bc her mom was picking them up so we were 4 left in the back seats i sat beside him and because we were super high on adrenaline and a little 🤏 tight we moved a lot and so he kept putting his hand on my lower back??? AND WE ENDED UP HOLDING HANDS OUT OF NOWHERE and he carressed my hand a lot and did like patterns😿😿😿 SAOUR CUTE WTF bit we another friend and ( context we already dropped off the other two so its only 3 of us left plus the teacher even more context he is a year older than us im in 9th grade and hes in 10th but we were both born in 2007 if that makes sense??? ) ok so w that friend we were like anoying him like WHO DO U LIKE?? dont u trust us you dont like us anymore?? ( we were so high on adrenaline and also our relationship is like that extremly playful and not serious amongst friends) so we started are they from our class??? and he went yes?? maybe and then my friend lets call her rachel bc im tired of saying my friend, rachel went aura.... the other aura (there are 2 aura's in our class ) he went no???? rachel: this aura ( me) him :idk maybe AND W THAT SHE WAS SCREAMING I DIDN'T PROCESS SHIT AND HE WAS EMBARRASSED so rachel goes : aura did y process what just happened me: 😭no😭 so at this point we were in front of my house and i go: we are going to have this conversation tomorrow fast forward to today lmao my school is in the neighborhood i live in so i go home walking so we have a group of friends that live on the neighborhood and go home together me him and rachel are on that "group" but rachel didn't come home walking idk why and the two friends i told u ab last time (the one that i liked and my best friend update they are now dating and are aDORABLE i am the bridesmaid they both agreed on it) so we were walkinf home 4 of us plus my sister and another friend when we get to my house its the 4 of us plus my sister my 2 friends who are datinf buy icecream ( my family has a small ice cream bussiness the ice cream my mom makes is indeed bussing) and he my sister and i were left in my house so i go : you know we gotta talk and he goes : wdm🤨 i i say : mom im going outside for a bit and we go to the park in front of my house (like 4 meters from my house) and we sit on the bench and talk...... alot from 3:40 ish?? till 5:10 😭 we were holding handa hi put an arm around my waist put his head on my shoulder i put mine on his saour cute im telling u 😿 and the he had to leave for basketball practice and i had a road trip ( im on the car rn 😭) and he gave me a little kiss before he left ($? $! $? #;! $;$! #(_) () #) #/! _ WTF ⁉️⁉️⁉️ AAAA im dead my spirit is typing this but i friendzoned very had at the start of our friendship 😭 it was so bad so i felt kinda guilty but its all ok now

3 iM NOW WORKINF ON ENE ene is an experience of a whole weekend with students planning every thing its very magical and amazing so its a surprise so you first have to live ene and then you work ene ( you plan and make other people live the experience) its like scout?? but in chile its more much different you do dinamicas (dynamics??) so you stand in the center of a circle and you scream like a funny song w funny dance moves and the people in the circle repeat (its very weird explained) but im working ene and it gives me so much happiness its super super tiring but its so worth it

HOW DID UR INTERSHIP GO?? PLS TELL ME AB IT IM DYING TOKNOW JAYBAL🙏🙏

thanks for reading my rant belle

a very tired auri on a road trip

AURI OMG HI HI HOW ARE YOU 👋

i love very long rants omg i’m happy to listen please rant away any time 😌

i’m so sorry to hear that your mental health has been in a rough place recently!! i totally know what you mean, i was on that grind this summer and it was low-key unhealthy for a while. please take lots of breaks and take care of your beautiful brain and body too 🌸

OMG AURI YOU’RE LITERALLY IN YOUR ROMANCE ERA WHAAAAT I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! he sounds so cute and sweet i’m literally getting a cavity. ALSO IT HITS SO HARD WHEN HE LIKES YOU FIRST ASHFKGL I’M GIDDY FOR YOU 🥰🥰🥰🥰

"we were so high on adrenaline" girl valid lmaoooo loving this story so much

that job sounds so fun and exciting actually??? how long is this job, is it for the summer or are you doing it part-time for a while?

my internship went so well!! turns out i love academic research lmao it was a blast and it was so exciting and cool to study activism and successful allyship within academia, i love learning about how to be a good ally and finding out what makes people hesitate to be allies it’s literally so fascinating.

TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR BOYFIE THOUGH I NEED TO KNOW!!! you guys are so sweet the early stages of relationships are crazy cute omg you’re making me nostalgic for when i first started dating my boyfriend 🥹💗

#auri🪷 #magical mutuals ✨ #💌 : open me!

[esaarimain]

tag thing under the cut

Get to know me!

Tagged by @decayotherainbow​ thanx mwah honk honk

Relationship status: single

Favorite color(s): blue of course

Favorite food/drinks: water, pepsi/pepsi max

Song stuck in your head: TV In The Morning by DNCE

Time: 18:01

Last thing you googled: bussi talviaika

Dream trip: going to Norway again i guess. but anywhere is fine if the company is good.

Last book you hated reading: probs something i had to read for school which woulda been years ago so i don’t remember

Last book you enjoyed reading: The Egyptian by Mika Waltari

Last book you've read: The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris,,, but i haven’t finished it yet lmfao

Favorite craft to do in your free time: screw crafts i’m going to interpret this as  what i like doing in my free time!! because fuck you!: drawing, viddy games, watching movies/series, listening to music, playing with the doggo and eating copious amounts of borgirs

Bonus! Favorite to cook/bake: tortillas... and... voisilmäpullat.

Opinion on the circus: it’s my home and the hottest bitches come from the circus it is known

Do you have a sense of direction: absolutely not.

uh i dont know who im allowed to tag so i guess i wont tag anyone :((((((((((((((

#ramblings

[solardick]

Theres snow outside! What?! No way?!

Yes way.

Uh, not the best. Starts good with fear. But overall message works. It moves on to Dax

And the news about ukraine and the pope. Mr. francis. Asking ukraine, to put up a white flag. At roughly the same time my preliminary attention began focusing on Russia. Ukraine themselves said “no.” No peace talks with russia. While asking every other nation they can to aid them. It seems on surface level. That they are unwilling to sacrifice what little land they have already lost.

This all seems very familiar to the last few years. Save knowing it started long before the war. It serves as a supportive influence of the fortification of the will.

Thinknim dying. Lung hurts. Still. Its been months. Sorry i didn’t listen god but they wouldnt leave me alone always sabotaging me. Im not going theought hat treatment. For a slim chance at survival. Why? Ehats tje point of oiving ajyway. Ti be fucked with some more? Except for that weeks vacation time i took. My lung didn’t feel a thing. Until i went back to work. I gotta quit. Go back to being jobless again. Whochbis syicide anyway. I miss women. The only guidance ove wver got was from you. People suck. No one has ever told me anything upfront. 40 years of nothing. And the very few times they have. It’s been indirecr as of speaking of another person. I hate been alive.

Make ne guess at these stupid cards when there’s already a complete set out there. Holding the answer being language. And too bar the Devs of tblr are lgtbqueer mental disorder enthuthiasts. Ruinign abgreat platform.

Tv commercials are judge beauty, played by judge judy. Justice. Wc donalds. Get it? The wheel and the moon. The horrible tarot version of bs and death and then it goes to a cancer charity. Hahahah. Oh god. Blow up the world pls. Pardon me while i get assinated. Slow and painfully by my own government.

And i was having the first dream in… i cant remember when. I was living with my only x. And one day. She was gone and while i was in my appartment. I found she “moved” in. As she had put her stuff in my place. But, it was out of a horror flick. And i had a spychotic break from reality because of all the unexpected foreign horror crap. Like a dolls head as a ceiling light. That was talking to me. And furniture out of place. Hard to describe. But then she comes back. And theres still this distance. And i told her what haopened. She didnt really care. So i startted brushed my own cheek with my thumb. An dit felt really good cause she wouldn’t comfort me. And i felt at peace for a minute and then my alarm goes off and i wake.

And then i receive a message from tmblr. It was another lgtbfuck solidarity message. Ugh. While my lung hurts. And having proctisis like symptoms. Only severe on the weekends. Apparently. Except the lung. Only at work. So. Da fuck. Still being raped. Nearly 40 straight years. So when my lung isnt hurting i have a constant desire to take a shit. To the point its almost painful. While the news about the war is full of bs. Russia saying we cant rule out world war. If foreign bodies cant mind their own bussiness by helping ukraine. And allied forces saying we cant rule out sending troops to help ukraine. I hate life. Whole ukraine says. We aint listening to the pope. We ain’t having peace talks with russia. While a large oercentage of americans, canadians specificaaly. With the whole gay movement is agaisnt the church. Because they are the source of all wars. And they fondle little boys and dont supprt people sucking each other off for satisfaction of desires. No shit.

But now im working with a moroccan. Who practice yabadon or whatever. Where they practice resistance agaisnt bodily desires by starving themselves periodically through out the year. This kid knows atleast three languages.and so optimistic. So thats an upside i guess. Doesnt help mych if im already dying. And get bombarded with this other bs. Consistently. At every step and turn of my life. But ehy they decide to move to the americas when they arew the anti-thesis to all their beleifs. Starves yourselves what?! Fuck their dumb. Why do they do that to themselves. Man, every fucken american says the same exact thing about them. Go suck yourswlf offf eoth. Banana flavours condoms. And your extra large mc donalds servings. But atleast i have something positive to absorb to counter the consistioning of free peace and butt love and succubing to desires over the rational. Unlike what is olagues this fucken country. I camt believe they have the wntire land brainwashed into believing this shit is true. So while he’s doing that. Im going to fallow suit. Absorb his motovation. And quit smoking. Not starve myself. Because. That would be senseless and none required at this point in time. Though they arent as productive as the americans are. Because they are starving themselves. But its all in good conscience. Something. That isnt very well supporting here. And we’ll see if my ling problem goes away. And if it doesnt. It does t really matter. I’ll die. Not going through that without any love. Suicide it is. Ive been beaten enough by my own family and the last several years of this fake reality and this community of assholes.

Wow, that was much. Im afraid to read it.

Anyway. I think i need to go to the hospital. My lung is fucked. Theres something wrong with it. Its dying. Im so stupid. Its unbelievable. Can’t help it. I have a death wish. And now i think. That maybe…. Maybe my life instinct reaction. Whatever. Comes in. At the end. When its too late.

Life accomplishments….. i invented a couple tarot cards. Not much to look back on. Tried my best to avoid it all. But people wouldn’t let me. What it is, is a question to ask. The existential question of life. Knowing i was murdered. Slowly. But its ok. Cause theres is no point whne one looks back to the beginning. Not one point. Nothing good. I never stood a chance. From the get go. There’s no longevity that isnt negative. The positives are fleeting. They killed me. My family and then all them else. Needed some peace. Never got it. Hit after hit. Year after year.

#Spotify