#Im trying to work on overcoming that but can we?? not act like people are assholes for hating christmas music?

[deadghosy]

If I was in Hazbin hotel:

Author insert x Hazbin Hotel

Prompt: an author is bored as they decided to jump into their favorite fandom at this very moment.

Honestly I’m bored asf rn lmao.

Will, the blogger in tumblr known as Deadghosy was bored in his room as he listens to jay aka kub scoutz 😍 playing lil guardsman. Being even more bored they opened their palm as a digital portal opens-

OKAY STOP…at first I was gonna do that story ass shit but let me be real. I died by not getting enough sleep and I popped into hell for not liking those Jesus posts😭

I’d honestly be in the sloth ring for being lazy asf and being tired most of the time. But also be in the gluttony ring as well. A BIG BITCH GOTTA EATTTT😭

But I would probably still be able to go into the pride ring because of my pride in not needing help from people. 😭 I hate asking for damn help irl.

I actually have very sharp canine teeth and bottom rows, I might as well be mistaken for a humanoid demon lol/j

But if did have a demon form, it’s a bear since I eat and sleep all day lmao.

Alastor wouldn’t “hate hate” me but find me annoying. I would try to get on his good side and never do deals with him obviously cause I like my soul 😍. But dead ass I’m showing him lingo of gen z ☝🏾💀 cause ain’t no way ima hear this deer man yap in a way I can’t understand. This is not no new broadcast from the old times dude. “Salutations!-” HAVIN ASS😕

Friendship level: 5/10

Sir Pentious, I’m teaching this bitch how to do the whip and nae nae 😄. I love him personally cause he so silly sometimes. I would just pop up as he works on weapons but not help him lol. I think personally our friendship would be the kind to talk to each other for a little and stop and repeat😕

Friendship level: 4.5/10

Charlie would like me because of my hyperactive personality sometimes. Like if I’m fixating on something, she would listen and probably tell her father. But mostly i wouldn’t do the trust exercises, she’ll have to drag my black ass to do them 💀

Friendship level: 6/10

Lucifer and I would be so chill dead ass. He’s probably adopt me if I’m gonna be honest cause I also have a duck toy in my room as we speak 😭LITERALLY I MIGHT AS WELL BE A MINI HIM WITH HIM HAVING HYPER FIXATIONS.

Friendship level: 10/10

Vaggie and me, idk she’s chill but short tempered. But I don’t think she would hate me but only he suspicious at first, but then just be chill with me. I would try to help her around but procrastinate lmao

Friendship level: 5.5//10

Husk would probably be chill but not have an opinion on me honestly. It will depend on me just going to talk to him or being nervous to talk to him. I hate being awkward so I would just wave or sit by his bar and chill with him as I draw.

Friendship level: it’s probably between 3/10 and 5/10

Angel and me, idk I feel like I would be a small friend of his to help. He wouldn’t trauma dump that much on me cause I’m just a kid so it would be like “oh my work is shit but my boss is even more shit.” So I would just nod acting like I don’t know what’s going on. Plus, I would probably try to make him something with the help of Lucifer

Friendship level: ima be honest…it’s probably a 4/10 cause I’m a minor and he has problems he need it overcome. He doesn’t need a minor to yap his ear off 😕

The Vee’s…😕ain’t no way ima talk to them front to front if I’m actually gonna be their friends dead ass. I would probably mostly be friends with Velvette to hook me up on outfits😍

Friendship level: -1000/10

Valentino…HAH YOU WOULD HAVE TO CATCH MY BLACK ASS ACTUALLY DEAD IF IM GONNA CHILL WITH THIS BASTARD 😂 I’m burning his whole studio down in a cool ass pyro tf2 mask. Fuck that bitch, all my homies hate Valentino 🤭

ENEMY LEVEL: 10000000/10🖕🏾

Vox, I’m begging him to try to advance my phone so I can prank call heaven and hell at the same time. I’m using so much evil ass shit🦆 like dead ass ima say “I heard your high school bully is in heaven” to an angel so they would go crazy trying to find their bully lmao. But Vox would hate my ass cause..I’m me? Idk lol

Enemy level: 8.5/10

Velvette, eh I feel like we would be mutuals but not too friendly. More like a hook up just so i can get free outfits and she can get a quick teen model and I can leave with the fit fr 😍 no money, free outfit‼️

Friendship level: 4.5/10

Adam and me..we throwin hands. Full on fist to fist. He probably would try to cheat but nahhh, you gettin kicked in the manhood bitch 😄‼️ but yeah me and him, enemies for life. He’s funny I’ll admit, but be honest having him beside you irl💀

Enemy level: he better keep one eye open.

Sera…yeah she not letting me in heaven lmao 😭 that’s all ima say LMAOO

Friendship level: -0/10

Lute will 100% percent kill me for my mouth 😭. I’d probably say GYATT to her for funnies only to get stab. But I would just be quiet and try to be on her good side lmao

Friendship level: 2/10

Emily would like me but would be the type of person to keep me in check with my mouth and vulgar language as I just chill eating all the food in heaven. She def givin me good tours.

Friendship level: a good 7.5/10

That’s all I have lmao

#author insert #hazbin hotel #hazbin headcanons #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin vaggie #hazbin hotel hell #hazbin hotel Adam #hazbin hotle heaven #og post #i’m bored #I’m tired #I’m HUNGRYYTY #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin imagine #hazbin heaven #hazbin hell #hazbin lute #hazbin lucifer #hazbin husk #hazbin angel dust #hazbin pentious #hazbin emily #hazbin adam #hazbin vox #hazbin charlie #hazbin Vee’s #hazbin hotel vees #the vees #valentino

[angryteapott]

I think one of the things I actually like about Fang Duobing's and Di Feisheng's relationships to Li Lianhua is that they don't get him all the way, but truly understand a specific part of him.

The part that Fang Duobing gets is they both have a genuine desire to do good. I'd also argue that both of their ideas of good can be hypocritical and inconsistent in similarly emotional ways. I think Li Lianhua becomes truly interested in Fang Duobing for the first time when he tries to get justice for those unrelated guards, and over and over it's shown they share each other's overall goals even when they're supposedly not working together. They share the same broad ideal.

But Fang Duobing has a very different view of their current world and what people owe each other- twice in the conversation at his shiniang's house Fang Duobing brushes off Li Lianhua's regret, and especially earlier in the story he sees the world as something that can easily be reverted back to righteousness through personal effort- the difference between becoming a detective and trying to change the institutions of the world by founding a court. Li Xiangyi saw the world's structure as something that needs correcting, and while he gives that up Li Lianhua sees how circumstances push people. This makes perfect sense; Li Lianhua was orphaned and treated unfairly, only rescued by others while Fang Duobing is a rich kid whose struggles (being sick) were overcome by personal effort (and expensive medicine, which he would take for granted) which rings as ableism to me as a plotline but im not disabled so idk

Di Feisheng gets this other half- he intimately knows how viscerally cruel and unfair the world is, and so he gets Li Xiangyi's need for excellence and control issues and Li Lianhua's sometimes cold eyed assessment of things. But he wasn't rescued nor allowed to save others so he sees that cruel world as something he can act honorably within but whose dog eat dog nature he can't change- be a swordsman not a hero.

Neither of them get how Li Lianhua's drive for good and his knowledge of the world's injustice create guilt for his what too bold actions (which FDB endorses) in a cruel world (which DFS sees as inevitable) resulted in, driving him to egotistically and self destructively attempt to "finish his business". They also didn't truly get his love of a simpler life, his exhaustion with pain and striving, and how he was ready to let go. In part because he never told them that in a way that wasn't tainted with guilt or lies my guy stop saying it in ur bs tone and just say how ur feeling i swear to

So neither of them really understood him fully, which is human especially when someone's lying to you 24/7 li lianhua im in ur walls. Understanding something fundamental about someone doesn't mean comprehending their every thought.

I think what makes Fang Duobing closer to understanding him in the end is that he was trying so hard to listen and understand Li Lianhua, constantly trying to meet him three quarters of the way there. That's why I'm obsessed with that conversation at Madam Qin's- Fang Duobing misunderstood and denied his regret once then twice, then said, fine, you're right. You should've tried harder in that relationship, and I should've tried harder in ours. We already said we're friends. I was wrong for the moment where I wasn't reaching out for you. But Li Lianhua never reached back.

#mysterious lotus casebook #mysterious lotus casebook spoilers #me making 30 thousand meta posts about essentially the same thing

[star-crossed-mid]

Little ramble on water boy 2 and red string cutter and their powers

The Goddess of Fate's power was the ability to change the future/fate of anyone. In some of the other gods stories it kind of seems like her power was just giving people a choice. I like to believe that MC has that power still but its more toned down as in she just talks to people about what choices they can make like idk telling leon to not kill everyone and wipe the universe teehee.

We see her power work in every story intentional or not. Maybe it was the king using the help of her powers to decimate the underworld or the simple acts of kindness performed through MC. Anyway, it can go into theories of dominos falling or butterflies flapping their wings that Clotho's power was very strong and had lasting impacts on a persons future.

Hue's power is clairvoyance, granted he can't use it without touching the person but he could still see into the future. He keeps to himself when he does this, only preparing for the inevitable.

I love that Huedhaut was the one to help Clotho figure out how to use her powers and incidentally was one of the first people who had his fate 'changed'. Whether his fate was actually changed by her or it was just him trying to create a logical answer to him catching feelings is wild.

One of my fav excerpts of them is I think in one of Hue's stories he gets surprised accidentally reading Clotho's future. He saw that they were dating before he even knew they were. Ended with both of them getting awkward about it and just acknowledging 'hey we're dating', and along the lines of him saying 'i've never had my own future spoiled'.

TLDR their relationship

One of the reasons Hue fell in love with MC/Clotho was because Clotho always forced Hue out of his comfort zone (at a reasonable level) and was his total opposite. Something refreshing, sun and moon.

Clotho definitely woke up Hue in the middle of the night to ask if he would still love her if she was a worm (and him in a begrudging state of total confusion would say yes, he loves them in any form, he loves their soul etc etc).

It's also to note that her power literally interrupts his. He can't see/predict the future if it's always changing. It was unpredictable for him. Which ties into the philosophy he learnt when we see him in S1 that he doesn't know how to process the illogical and irrational. He also gets a bit mad at MC when she brings up the concept 'fate' once again being a theoretical concept not set in stone. Huedhaut tries to grab onto any reason when it came to an emotional experience and it left him with centuries full of grief as to why Clotho did the things she did.

In a sense, Huedhauts season 1 reads like a ghost story. Clotho is the ghost that haunts MC, Hue, and some of the other gods. There's a famous quote by David Foster Wallace that says:

"Every love story is a ghost story"

Clotho haunts the narrative, and surely haunts Hue. Those versions of the goddess of fate with the god of Aquarius doesn't exist anymore, yet they still have a very persistent figure in the story. Clotho gave up (not sacrificed) herself/powers because she wanted humanity to feel the love that Huedhaut gave her, her last thoughts were literally of her and Huedhaut hugging the morning prior as she found comfort in the absolute. Huedhaut was near her/watched as she faded from existence. Everything she did, Huedhaut took it personal as Clotho's decisions were purely emotional.

Whether it was inconsistent writing or intentional, Hue's reasonings/graspings at Clotho changes throughout the story from (TLDR SUMMED UP)

"Oh gods I desecrated myself for love" "Did she love me or was she unhappy and decided to do that" blaming himself for not stopping her/finding a solution/not being smart enough at the time

it changes in his route a few times but I think its a realistic depiction for someone who didn't get closure and is heavily focused on reason. tldr im rambling love overcomes as a theme and love is good. Voltage I am begging please give Hue a good update also redo his promise of infinity.

hue and clotho/mc have that doomed yuri type beat also something about them just spreads tragedy i love them i have like 3 scm aus and one of them is dedicated to them entirely.

#star crossed myth #star-crossed myth #starcrossed myth #voltage otome #scm huedhaut

[shimamitsu]

You know im a fool so i may be wrong but i think AtSv is not too big on copaganda, or that's just to copaganda working on me but just , hear me out, ok?

Miles mentioned something about his dad and his uncle trying to get a business started before he decided to be a cop, arguably because Miles was on the way and probably wanted a stable job to provide to his family. This means he didn't consider it his profession until he felt pressured.

While making the toast at the party he mentions how Aaron must be making fun of him for becoming a Captain, deep down he probably makes fun of himself.

When he has this conversation with his dad while being Spiderman, how sergeant mentions "that's why they hate us", i mean it was pretty clear he doesn't like this. Ik ik this could be a feel sympathetic towards poor cops they humans tooo 🥹

Hobie reacting to 'a dead cop' with "yeah, and what of it?" Idk, i dont think that marked him as a tragedy also i jut wanted to include Hobie because i love him.

How one big mayor constant in the Spiderman is a cop dying because spiderman is unable to save them is already avoided 1 time when Miles interferes in Earth 50101 *

Gwen baring her emotions and troubles for her dad helps him make up his mind and drop the force, changing the canon once more*

Miles dad dying in Earth 42 even tho there was not a spiderman to be shaped by this tragedy*

*All three events show us canon can be changed and the dead of a Captain is probably not necessary to shape Spiderman as a hero and this anomalies, like the spot swallowing Earth 50101 are probably just happening because of The Spot.

Idk idk they showing us how Gwen and her dad solve this gives me lots of hope that maybe Miles will have to finally talk to his parents because thats what they were trying to do for most of their scenes but were ultimately denied, i mean Gwen was the most strongly against talking to parents and still faced it head on because her fear of her dad choosing the force over her was overcome by her fear of losing her friend.

And the Spider force/Miguel acting like a cop like institution but being questioned by Gwen "we were supposed to be the good guys" and leaving the doubt lingering???👌👌👌

I like to believe the resolution is Sergeant Morales leaving the force in favor of his family, his son. We've been shown beforehand that's what fractured his family and he doesn't want that to happen again.

im a fool pero se vale soñar, se vale soñar.

Vuelvo en dos años a comerme mis calzones si me equivoqué 🤡

sorry to tell you this but i think the copaganda is indeed getting to you. a cop that felt pressured to get that job is still a cop, a cop who hates their job is still a cop, a cop that makes fun of their job is still a cop, a cop that's """critical""" about their job is... still a cop. a cop's a cop. and fuck all of them. the stuff that you mention can be leading up to something ig but the copaganda is so blatant i don't think that's the case (many people have already made entire posts pointing out these aspects of the film so i'm not gonna go into detail, just look them up). the copaganda's there in the first movie, it's here in the second, i don't think it's going away in the third. i don't think a marvel movie's gonna be the revolutionary anti-cop manifesto people are hoping for. even if somehow they manage to turn it around, this would be a very weird way to go about it. so yes, it is too big on the copaganda

#also just post this stuff on your own blog guys #con amor

[fictionaladoptionpolls]

Yuuta Tomonaga

Age: 10

Home: Nanamagari City (Brave Police J-Decker)

Likes: Robots, wearing girl’s clothes

Dislikes: Bugs, ghosts

Rank: Chief Inspector

Okay, yes, Yuuta is a cop. Technically. But I’m pretty sure he only joins the police to stay with his robot buddy, and we all had bad ideas when we were his age, so I’m sure we can forgive him. And yes, one of the profiles posted yesterday was a child who has waterboarded multiple people.

Wait, why am I worrying so much about this when a bunch of the bracket’s kids are villainous mass murderers? That’s worse than being a cop! Probably.

Anyways, there’s not much to say about Yuuta. He’s a grade schooler who discovers a secret transforming police robot named Deckerd. He befriends the robot, “teaches him various things about life,” and accidentally turns Deckerd into a sentient being capable of empathy. The police obviously have to wipe Deckerd’s personality before he can enter police service. (I am not making this up, by the way. The wiki doesn’t imply a connection between that and the empathy, but I sure will!)

Luckily, Yuuta intervenes when a mad scientist tries to steal the memory-wiped Deckard, which…somehow restored its memories of Yuuta, which I assume has something to do with the “Super-AI” thing explained by neither the wiki nor TV Tropes? Apparently all “Super-AI” treat Yuuta as a little brother to protect. Also, he’s promoted to chief inspector when he’s still a tween, for some reason? This sounds like a weird show.

I can’t find much information about his personality. He misses his parents, who are archaeologists and I guess work somewhere far from Nanamagari. He’s exceptionally empathetic for a cop, even to the point of trying to save convicts instead of fighting the evil robot that was attacking the prison. Also, TV Tropes mentions that he was happy to cross-dress to infiltrate an all-girl’s school?

…yeah, he looks pretty happy. Happier than he does in the other pictures on the wiki. Huh.

Anyways, has anyone posted about the humans in this this obscure mid-90’s in-house Transformers knockoff?

I finally gave into peer pressure and started watching Brave Police J-Decker, and all I am saying so far is that Yuuta is ABSOLUTELY going to be pioneering Nanamagari's LGBTQ+ Community when he grows up. No one dresses like THAT at age 10 and grows up to be both cisgender and heterosexual

okay random thoughts but i just couldnt help myself but im completely amazed how much Yuuta had to go through during the series like do you have any idea how much this 10-11 years old little boy had to overcome countless devastating moments? [...] he acted as a kid for most of the time, but there have been moments when he judged better than anybody else. he took action regardless of his sorrows and agonies..i know this can be spoilers, but—

Yuuta, you really should pick better places to sleep.

#tomonaga yuuta #brave police j decker #anime child adoption bracket #profile

[alexithymia3008]

Heyy, as much as I understand your views on obesity, obesity is most of the time not under a person's control. Obesity is a disease. There are many medications which have the effect of obesity on people, and how much ever they workout, it doesn't help shed those kilos a lot. A lot of others are born with obesity due to their genetics. Which again, is extremely difficult to shed. So when you call out a person for being fat, you're also putting down obese people who work hard to shed weight everyday but still don't see results. And a lot of times, it is just better to accept their body as it is than to put themselves through unnecessary hell. (I'm not talking about obesity due to unhealthy habits, which again doesn't deserve shaming imo).

Imagine you're put down for something you're trying to overcome but can't. It doesn't feel very nice....i hope you get what I mean :)

first off, thank you for not being as arrogant as others in my inbox, i genuinely appreciate that. however, i want to mention that a lot of studies do show that yes obesity can be influenced by genes, and i cant disagree with that. however, in the recent years, the rapid increase of obesity isnt because these genes are carried by everyone. the larger the population, the more genetic diversity. you prompted me to conduct some research, and i come to find out that most of the time, only genetic factors affect us from controlling our weight. there are of course certain situations like thyroid which affects weight, i have family members with thyroid, and i have seen them grow increasingly fat. they refuse to work out and take care of themselves but act pissy when we tell them theyre getting fat. they could lessen the suffering of thyroid by working out, however, they refuse to do so because they think it's easier to sit and sulk over it for them. now for my research, read over some of these website:

im not going out everyday and bashing people up for being fat, i have better things to do. however, this is a platform where im not directly calling out names, i'm just calling out people who idolise obesity. Lizzo is one of them. Take a look at this video:

this the stuff i hate. anyway, have a good day. Jai Shree Ram🚩🙏🏽

[hi-intrepid-heroes]

hii so ive seen you posting about gming and i just want to ask you if you were anxious early on, and if you were, how you went about overcoming it? i know gming can be fun for me and i have a lot of cool ideas but im scared of like messing up and ruining the game for my players.

hi!!

thank you so much for sending me this!! i've been dm'ing for about a year now but we don't play super regularly so i still feel like a new-ish dm if i'm being honest. i'm still nervous before sessions and am still learning but some of my tips for overcoming anxiety are (note after writing: this got SO LONG sorry i hope it helps!):

-pick the right players: i think when you're starting out it's really important to have players that you trust! i'm really lucky and i play with people i've been friends with for like 10 years so i'm really comfortable around them, but in general try to have players that you trust not to hold mistakes you make (see tip #2) against you. it's easier to just go for it and try some things when you're comfortable around your players

-accept you're going to mess up sometimes: we all make mistakes, especially when you're learning a new skill, which is what dm'ing is. i don't know all the rules by heart, i have to change things halfway through sometimes, i sometimes run a not so great session, and that's just kind of. how it is. not everything's gonna be a banger. for me, it's really nice to address that? like, i recently ran a thing where two pcs were involved in a duel while the other two were just waiting, and they clearly got bored. so when the duel was over, i turned to them, said 'this was boring for you, right?', they said 'yeah' and i nodded and said 'cool, then we won't do it again', made a note of it, and move on. i cannot emphasise how much addressing something i did wrong due to miscalculation (i thought it would be shorter + more interesting for the pcs not involved), acknowledging it was a mistake and that i now know it doesn't work, and then just moving on instead of lingering on it helped in overcoming the anxiety around mistakes was. i tend to linger on my mistakes and by addressing it, i removed both doubt in my mind about how the players felt + doubt in their mind about whether i caught that it just wasn't that interesting, and that gave me the space to simply get on with the parts of the story that are interesting!

-find someone to talk to about your campaign that isn't your players: it's so nice to just braindump to another person sometimes, and this doesn't have to be someone who plays dnd! for the longest time, i would just talk to my mum about it, and simply the act of explaining to someone else what was happening and what i was struggling with helped me solve my own problems!

-prepare as much as you feel is necessary: i see a lot of people warning against over preparing and although you want to try and not railroad your players, preparing is great and in the beginning i prepared a lot! i'm now confident enough to improvise fantasy shots when necessary but i definitely wasn't a year ago and so i would just. make a bar if i knew they were going to an area with bars, and sometimes they wouldn't end up doing shots and i'd just save it. for me, this over preparation helped me feel safe in my own world and i knew there was less chance of me getting surprised (it still happened, it always happens (flashbacks to the barbarian in session 2 deciding she wanted a pet so i had to improvise a full fantasy pet store rip), but by preparing i saved myself a lot of stress)

-use online resources: there are so many blogs, youtube channels, and other things to help you with dm'ing and for me finding info/instructions made me feel more secure! i really like matthew colville, he's got a full playlist called running the game (find it here), which is about learning to dm, it's got 100+ videos and it's amazing. he advocates for using adventures, which i like cause they're a little bit more accessible! you don't have to homebrew if that seems intimidating, just run an adventure, they're just as fun and cool to do!! matthew colville is a good intro, when i have a specific question, i also look at the DM Lair, who has a lot of really focused videos, but i haven't seen that many. in theme with this blog, i also like adventuring academy which is brennan + guest, specifically this one with murph cause they have a beautiful bit where they emphasise that if you have watched dimension 20 you can dm, anyone can do it and i 100% agree. you can do it!! i understand you're nervous but the biggest hurdle (for me, at least) was the first session. the second they laugh at something you said or are creeped out by the haunted mansion you created based on a backstreet boys music video (only normal decisions here), you realise 'oh. this is kind of fun actually'. i'm still nervouse before sessions and a lot of way more experienced dms are too but it's also so fun just try it!! i'd love to hear how it goes!

dm's please reblog with your best tips for overcoming anxiety!!!!

#so sorry for the length i have one mood and its in this essay i will #thank u for the question if you have any more let me know i will try to help in any way i can <3 #good luck with dm'ing im rooting for you!!!! #shut up judith

[whoneedssexed]

Hello, I just need som advice.

I've been with my bf for 6 yrs now and I've lately been getting irritated or just tired of dealing with him... such as him wanting to be at my home alot such as our routine is staying in and watch TV and eating and while this is nice, I have more of a wild side and want to go out and he gives me a bit of attitude and hesitancy but is willing at times. He asks me to do thing he doesn't do to me such as sweet talk ? And it bothers me bc I have asked him to do better with that as my love language is words of affirmation, he "tried" but hardly . And lately he will cancel plans or make a big deal out of small fights like we could be arguing and I tell him my perspective and he'll cancel plans which throws me off bc we don't really argue alot and usually still act mature to continue with your plans . Even with sex, its a constant effort to ask him, I understand not eveyone has the same sex drive but when I bring it up he just say I'm fine but I always do it for you and when I express that it doesn't really make me feel good bc it feel like im pressuring him that I need him to atleast try to initiate it he just doesn't and says he'll "try " which never happens. A week ago he was sick so I didnt see him for a whole week and that was probably the first time I didn't feel anxious or upset that I wasn't gonna see him, I felt really okay and I made plans with my friends and just did things on my own which wasn't as hard as it used to be. I took a yr to be truly alone as I was going thru some friendship problems, and I think now I'm really okay with being alone which is weird and I think its making me second guess my relationship bc I used to believe you have to be somewhat obsessed with your partner and obiv now I know thats not normal but I also feel like I lost this connection I have with my bf bc I get more irritated if we constantly have the same plans or routines. And I guess I'm just tired of asking for better ? I do love him and I know he's a really great guy, he's my best friend but now im not sure if this relationship is still giving me what I need. im not sure if I'm over reacting or reading to much into it..im happy that we can both be independent together but I also am feeling a off bc what if this means our relationship is fizzling out . Also how do you talk to someone who doesn't really know how to communicate their feelings or not take everything like an attack..pls if any advice about long term relationships and healthy attachment styles would be appreciated,

It sounds like you might be getting tired of each other, or even simply not a good fit. Both of these are normal and not everything always works out.

He doesn't want to go out any more, and "gives you attitude" if you insist on it. He has stopped reciprocating your love language. And he seems to find little reasons to cancel things and dwells on fights. This sounds like he's just as irritated as you are.

I do want to note a few things, though:

1) If you understand everyone has different sex drives, why ARE you pestering him about his?

If he's not interested and doesn't want to, then you need to drop it. If you can't handle that he "doesn't rise to the challenge", then that may be a sign you guys aren't a good fit - sometimes, majorly differing drives can't be overcome, and that's normal.

However, if he's saying he's okay with doing it if you want to, but isn't strongly for or against it, that's also just how some people are. Some people just don't initiate, too; a lot of people aren't "up for it" until someone else brings it up. It doesn't mean they feel pressured or hate it. Again, if that's not something you like, and he isn't budging in making a common ground in this point, then you guys might not work out.

2) It's very normal to work independently of each other. In fact, it's even healthier to do that. Hanging on each other can wear on the nerves a lot, which both of you might be feeling. That is, you're suffocating under each other, which makes you both snappy and irrational.

All that aside, if you're needing him to do things he just can't, or won't, do, it's… probably time to end it. Which I know is not what you want to hear. But, it's worth looking into whether it's a matter of you guys just needing more space and independence with each other so you're not smashed together all the time.

Regardless, here are some resources that you have asked for and those related:

21 Bits of Relationship Advice From People In Long-Lasting Relationships

12 Tips for Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships

6 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Long-Term Relationship

7 Secrets to a Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationship

7 Golden Rules of Long-Term Relationships, From Couples of Nearly Four Decades

25 Relationship Tips for a Long, Lasting Love

6 Tips to Keep Long-Term Relationships Exciting

20 Keys to a Successful Long Term Relationship?

Scarleteen also has a section for articles and advice about relationships, and Planned Parenthood also has a few answers on their relationships section.

How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships

Secure attachment style in relationships explained

Secure Attachment - from Childhood to Adult Relationships

If You Want a Happy Relationship, These Are the Qualities to Look For

The Different Types of Attachment Styles

How to develop a secure attachment style so that you can have healthier, more loving relationships

What is Secure Attachment and How Does it Develop?

What Types of Attachment are Healthy and Unhealthy?

What is Secure Attachment?

Secure Attachment: What Does it Look and Feel Like in Relationships?

Attachment Styles & Their Role in Relationships

Creating a Secure Attachment With Your Partner

Which of These Four Attachment Styles is Yours?

How Adult Relationships Benefit from Secure Attachment

10 Signs of a Securely Attached Partner

-Mod BP

#relationships #asks #attachment #attachments #secure attachment #relationship advice #secure attachments #attachment theory #attachment styles #healthy relationships #relationship respect #mental health

[scrapperjoe]

Doesn't making keichos character disabled defeat the original purpose of him?

Yeah this ones a tricky one that's been on my mind. Huge spoilers for talks of abuse and ableism. Keep in mind this likely will not be the best written since its before work and stuff.

Yeah its no doubt that keichos introduction shows him to be verbally abusive towards okuyasu, and holding ableist beliefs at that, which is... Hm, not the best choice for making a disabled character, especially if you consider okuyasu autistic like i do. So why make him disabled?

The original theme of the au was to heal from trauma and abuse, a theme very much in my own life. Id also forgotten "wait cant josuke just heal him" before id put medical research into this so, yeah. Anyways... I thought, "hey, if he wasnt dead, him and okuyasu could willingly work on their relationship together!" Emphasis on willingly. Because keicho has minimal use of his legs and such, in the early days of his recovery he'd have to rely on okuyasu to help take care of him. (By the time keichos finally discharged okuyasus near graduation, don't worry.) The time apart with keicho in the hospital allowed them to rework their relationship in a less heated setting, and having to rely on okuyasu more, someone he once looked down upon, really shifted the dynamic and you can see things are working out more healthily between them while the both of them also seek counselling and had jotaro act as a middle man in the early days of the au. Even when okuyasu becomes a parent, keichos past abuse is NOT swept under the rug because okuyasu has several boundaries set in place such as keicho not being allowed to punish or yell at the kids no matter how fatherly he mat feel towards them. He is still just the uncle, and okuyasu doesn't want them to go through what he did.

And now for what this post is actually supposed to be about! As i mentioned, the aus core theme was different at the very beginning, but does try to tackle many complex themes because i can. And you guessed it, ableism is a hot topic! Ill admit it, i hadnt originally thought of it cause my autism brain thought, "wow, nijimura bros alive!" But as ive done research ive really been cracking down on how to handle this. Ive put in much medical research and what its like to live with what disabilities and conditions he has such as being an amputee, nerve connection issues, chronic pain (i actually live with chronic migraines myself), brain damage, organ transplants, etc...

Making keicho disabled and having josuke heal him was NOT to punish him for his abuse. Not in any way. If anything, it more so puts him in a state where he quite literally cannot run away from his issues and has to actually face them with CHOICE. The spwf faced the nijimuras with whether or not they wanted to stay together or split apart because of their complcated relationship, and they both chose to stay. Anyways... With keichos character who was depicted with low-key ableist veiws, hes undoubtedly going to deal with internalized ableism up the wazu. Im not going to go into way too much detail with that because if you're disabled you know what it's like. But there's a LOT of him trying to overcome it with the years. When they were finally home together for the first time in years keicho finally got to see okuyasus survivors guilt for himself and that was one big hurdle. Keichos self hatred at that time was adding to it and once he saw just how badly it was affecting okuyasu without realizing it, boy that had to freaking change. But every hurdle after that wasn't a hurdle, it was more like climbing steps of a stair.

As we all know, recovery is no straight line. A lot of times people will wish theyll be their former selves, but a lot of times that's an unreasonable desire. Keicho has a hard freaking time accepting that. He keeps pushing himself, wishing his recovery was faster, in turn actually pushing himself back. Over time keicho has to learn his limits which is a very bitter battle. You make advancements but then you go back a bit. With josuke and okuyasu doing so much for the family keicho often feels less than, and like he should be doing more. He pushes himself to do all the chores in the house even if it means puking from his migraines or wearing his stumps to the point the friction in his prosthetics start to bleed. Because we all know keichos as stubborn as a mule. The family is very adamant about getting him to rest, and i know i joke about them having to tape him down to the couch, but this feeling is a very real part of us who live with internalized ableism. Our society is so rooted in production and everything, that it can just be so hard to accept that our brains and bodies are simply incapable of doing certain things... What's more is that with keichos fluctuating condition its hard for him to keep a job. But even when he feels like crap, the family reassures him. Cause when your body won't let you do much more than bring up laundry without being in immense pain, or can hardly let you read for fun because of brain fog, it can be hard.

And because i worked it for josuke only to partially heal keicho because keicho told him specifically not to heal him, keicho obviously has disfiguring burn scars. And with his prosthetics and mobility aids, it goes without saying that he gets nasty looks and people staring at him. Those whispers around him when he goes into public. Those that lead him to often cover up even during summer time, that have the kids have to stand up for themselves and their own family at school because they get picked on because they have a VERY non traditional family. Those stares and comments can make him feel sub human, doctors constantly offering facial reconstruction surgery, and the way people can treat others is just... Appalling. Its taken keicho YEARS to feel comfortable in his own skin. From not getting that jarring feeling every time he looks in the mirror, not having to shower with a shirt on, not wanting to peel his skin off, etc... It was a bitter battle of self love. A bitter battle that sometimes he loses. But when that little hyakuko would play with his missing finger, boy did he feel less like a monster and more like the human that he is... Not to mention body positive josuke always being there to help him out. Since crazy diamond cant heal himself, josuke has lots of scars and stitches on his body from old stand battles and the sutch, and even if his scars arent disfiguring like keichos, they at least make him feel less alone, and okuyasu just being happy he's alive is always something that makes him feel better.

Overall, the au is centered around the theme of overcoming trauma and abuse much like my other works. In this case keicho is overcoming his old self and the abuse hed once done. And as time goes on, he does grow and evolve, becoming at least a somewhat better person and more understanding of others. Himself? Come on, its keicho. But no matter the hardships, when he sees how okuyasu has grown up and the happy family hes been able to have, and let alone keicho be part of it, its made all the hardships worth it. Disabled people are not a tragedy. Stop treating us like it.

#jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #diamond is unbreakable #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo part 4 #josuke higashitaka #jjbaau #nijimurarecovery! #keicho nijimura #okuyasu nijimura

[corruptedsilence]

Yes I have done something right and made a smart point Shit I made it so that Missi will have more confrontation

Task failed sucessfully

In all seriousness though yeah, guys, I’m really surprised no one has bothered to try and call Missi out on her BS when she calls herself a Duchess. Everyone just accepts it at face value and lowkey it’s hilarious but equally frustrating cuz no one bothers to say anything.

I understand why, people dont like confrontation and Missi does play up the act as a royal so it can be convincing especially when she’s proven to have connections with other hell denizens and stuff, But at the same time it is a tad frustrating for Missi to not have any challenges, she doesn’t have to earn anything in her RPs, she’s just given everything because everyone here is a sub (yes im calling you out) so when a dommy mommy vampire comes across everyone just folds.

Either way if you don’t want your muse to call her out, send anons. Honestly the best way to get at Missi is through anons. Whether it be of demons or random NPCs or *use the voices in her head*

I implement a fun little idea that you can send anons that are Missi’s hallucinations, you can influence harm or help her mental state because it’s all in her mind and no one else can see it so no one else has to be involved but the anon and Missi. I do try to get people involved as much as they can, people can influence my muse, change her, progress or regress what she wants to do and influence how much Anger has control over her.

Use that to your advantage. I want to encourage blog interaction, anons and blogs alike. I just am pushing anons in case people don’t want to start things with characters that have established relationships. You can play NPCs, you can play her hallucinations and just have fun with it.

The main point is though: Challenge her. Give Missi something to work towards, a task she has to overcome or prove herself, a challenge mentally or by status, anything rlly

I’ll be honest the main reason I am so invested in Duke and Patrick’s stuff (lilly included) is because Patrick is the only one who challenges Missi substantially and so I get more invested because that impacts my character, that influences her and makes her think and change, and influence her thought about those around her and how she has to act going forward.

I don’t mean to shit on people when we have fluffy cute threads and non-angst confrontational ones but I just, want something more about Missi, give missi a reason for being here, give my muse a goal they have to achieve because one major thing is I need a new blog event or some long-term thing Missi can work to that then can evolve into more threads, and actually have character growth--

#Out for a Bite // OOC #Screams from the Abyss // MT #;; sorry if i sound rude or ungrateful #;; i dont mean to come off like that hfejwk

[zzlovezzangelzz]

I’m sorry but someone needs to say it.

I just got done watching the first episode of she hulk and I am… feeling a lot of things about it.

(Edit: ALSO THE B.B AND T.S IN THE HULKS BAR IS SO CUTE IM CRYINGJDJD)

First of all I am so happy that they are really trying to represent women in all the best ways in the MCU, as a woman seeing all these new female hero’s is awe inspiring and it makes the child in me so happy. Especially with what they are doing with Wanda.

Her character design really is gorgeous and absolutely represents Miss Walters in the best light, I absolutely love how she looks and how she acts in this show.

Here’s the issue: She-hulk like it or not is a Mary Sue. Or so it appears, maybe she will change with the coming episodes but I highly doubt this to be the case.

As a feminist and lgbtq member this representation in the mcu is so crucial for our society and I think at some point we have to realize when it becomes too much- or- trying too hard to be relatable, or to people please their audience. It almost feels mocking to our stance and cause. Being represented and showing equality does not mean give us everything we want, it means give us everything we need. Showing equality does not and will never mean superiority.

I love the attitude Jenifer has and the sass to go with it, I love her personality and her can do attitude but I am appalled at how quickly she was able to learn everything. As a women, we have to work almost twice as hard to do anything in this male dominated world. In my opinion if they wanted to represent her in a way that could make us all feel seen she should of had to work for her knowledge and skill.

I will express again her character is beautiful and well written but her skills are “incredible”(ly) flawed. I would have loved to see her work to control her emotions when they have become heightened with her newfound powers. I would have loved to see her actually struggle and show her insecurities with her new body and adjusting to it. I would have loved to see her truly overcome these obstacles and take her time. It all just ends up feeling rushed and “Mary sue” like.

I do look forward to watching the rest of this show just was not very impressed and kind of felt let down by this new Jennifer Walters. She-Hulk has always been someone I’ve looked up to as a little girl and I so strongly feel that they could have done better.

I am excited to see all the new characters and how this story will pan out and who knows, maybe I will change my mind.

Definitely a love hate relationship with this show.

I apologize if this feels repetitive or offensive in any way, this is not a truth but it is my truth so do keep that in mind. I respect and absolutely love hearing other’s opinions and view points as well.

#she hulk #captain marvel #marvel #mcu phase 4 #mcu multiverse #my opinion #show review #review #feminist #feminism

[aquagustd]

i just want to say that i had a relationship similar to hie jk and oc. we fought so badly and said the worst things to each other but we always came back because it was what we were used to. its all about the forgiveness. being comfortable with the dysfunction is common unfortunately.

this story is very realistic in my eyes because to me they seem like theyre all so in deep with each other like on a soul level that regardless of how toxic it can be, one person is not necessarily more evil than the other. in other words, everyone thinks theyre justified. both jk and oc were young in love and that sticks so much to a person. im talking literally for ur whole life. feelings u cant help, merely because of the memories you shared and what you end up building together. jk is a broken person and so is she. not to mention now they have a kid! they literally cant get rid of each other for good unless they fight to the death. they also cant get past their old selves. hopefully they overcome that with compromise and work. depends on who wants to fully commit to that 🤷🏻‍♀️

finding love through trauma bonding is real!although not the healthiest, it is unpredictable and intense and passionate. i truly think that oc is not a fool she is just human. people forget how easy it can be to fall right back into a cycle of hurt if no one decides to change. their dynamic is different because they HAVE changed in some ways. maybe not completely but its progressing and it seems like the spark will always be there between jk and oc. they both obviously care at least an ounce about each other. just the subtle yearning is significant.

you can also love two people at the same time just in different ways. who you decide to build your relationship with doesnt mean u stop all feelings for someone else. with time love will be tested and all that matters is who will make who the happiest!! not excusing any of the horrible behavior, but everyone shows their ugliest sides when they dont know what they want from life. its just what it is. good news tho, i think almost all of the characters are fed up with the dysfunction and want peace. junho is a blessing because it takes everyones minds of themselves, and they selflessly think about that child. other than sora (lol) i truly believe that junho has both his parents and their friends rooting for him and want to step up to the plate so that can have a better life than any of them. junho comes first!!!

idk i like to think im an empath of some sort. well done on the update, cant wait to see how the rest of it develops. :) i love both ships tbh

-🐇anon💗

ahh bb literally everything you said 🥹 i teared up a bit ngl. the part where you said everyone has junho to try & take their minds of the dysfunction is so true 😭 not just oc & jk but also yoongi :(

whatever you said about jk & oc is true too !! no matter what, no matter how shitty the other person acts you just can’t help your feelings. especially when they were once a good person. you’re constantly thinking that the old them is still somewhere in there & that’s kind of how oc feels too. (even though she won’t say it)

i’m so happy you’re seeing hie for what it is !! & i’m so sorry to hear about your past relationship 🥺 i hope you’re doing better bun <3 and tysm for reading and always being so sweet !! ♡

#fic: hie #squishies #🐇 anon

[itsthemysterykids]

"Want any Camp Camp quotes? Just ask" -itsthemysterykids June 4th 2022. "Yes please!" -Me June 3th 2022

Dipper: Who’s gonna threaten us into submission?

—

Lili: I'm not here to make friends, Mabel. I'm here because camp is where kids are sent when their parents don't want to deal with them. Why do you think we return the favor when they hit seventy?

—

Coraline: Well guys, I hope we all learned something today.

Lili: Oh, no. I hope YOU learned, Coraline. I hope you learned that before today, you only had one little bastard to deal with. But now you've got three.

—

Lili: No! You're gonna get taken advantage of by the 1%! Rage against the machine, fight the power, 9/11!

Norman: Progressive buzzwords can’t save you now.

—

Dipper: Mabel, she's just using you! She just uses people!

Coraline: Don't listen to him, Mabel!

Mabel: It's okay, Coraline! I know you would never do that!

Coraline: No, its true, just don't listen to him Mabel! I need you on my side!

—

Stan: And, what brings you fine ladies to this completely normal summer camp?

Lucille: Why… Our precious grandson, Wyborne, of course.

Wybie: I said call me Wybie!

Stan: So you two are…

Wybie: My cool gay grandmas. *High-fives his grandmothers and poses* Aw, yeah!

—

Mabel: All I want is for you guys to have as much fun as I did when I was a Mystery camper. Is that really too much to ask?

Lili: I refuse to believe someone as happy as you can possibly exist.

—

Mabel: Ooooohhh~ There's a place I know that's tucked away, a place where you and I can stay, where we can go to laugh and play and have adventures every day! I know it sounds hard to believe but guys and gals it's true, Camp Mystery is the place for me and-

Wybie: The kids are gone.

—

Neil: Oh no! Rule 1: No backing down! Look out world. I’m hard and Im coming! Whether he likes it or not, Dipper is going to let me in! *Tries to badass kick down the door* … Ow.

Lili: … So, does he wanna help Dipper, or fuck him?

—

Lili: Hey guys! I found it! I found the bird!

Raz: Really?

Lili: Yep. It’s right here. *Holds up her middle finger*

—

Wybie: MOTHERFUCKER! Lili you don't crank SHIT! Get down from there, Neil!

—

Wybie: *Holding the platypus by its’ tail* Why do you people always have to make things weird and complicated?

Coraline: Well, I mean, I think this is all pretty normal.

Wybie: … I need more aspirin.

—

Mabel: So once, there was this girl that no one really understood-

Raz: So help me if this involves vampire romance!

Mabel: I-it could've been werewolves! You dunno!

Lili: Here's a horror story, go look at the job market you're dealing with once this camp shuts down.

—

Wybie: Nope. We're boned.

Rando: Fear not, sweet Wyborne. Once you work for the Wood Scouts, the only man you'll have to deal with in your life is me. *Wraps his arm around Wybie*

Wybie: Oh, Jesus Christ! Campers, we are winning that fucking trophy!

Neil: How the hell do we do that?!

Mabel: By overcoming our differences and working toge-

Wybie: NO! Shut up. You are not going to work together.

Dipper: We're not?

Wybie: No! You're all terrible at it! But we've got something they don't.

Lili: Sub-par indoor plumbing?

Wybie: We've got the most bizarre collection of campers with niche talents and ridiculously specific skill sets Gravity Falls has ever seen! And sub-par indoor plumbing!

—

Raz: That's the end of Act I. Intermission time. GO GET SOME SNACKS!

—

Raz: Yes Dipper! Loving the passion but feeling a little too on the nose. I need you to sell it to me without saying it to me. Lets do it again, but maybe try to bury your motivations in a *Dipper chokes him* ...bit...more...subtext.

—

Norman: How am I supposed to make EDGY ART without an authority figure to rebel against!?

—

Mabel: YEAH! Space is our turf motherfu-

—

Raz: Fab-u-lous! This is the kind of house I'll live in after my 'Hamilton, But With Jazz' musical wins all those Tony's

—

Coraline: Woah, check out the balls on new kid.

Neil: *Looks down* Where?

—

Coraline: Lady-sickness. My mom used to get that all the time.

Neil: How do you cure it?

Coraline: EDGE CLOSER TO DEATH.

—

Wybie: Heeeyy...Mabel?

Mabel: Yes, Wybie?

Wybie: WAKE UP AND SMELL THE KOOL-AID

—

Mr. Cipher: *Scoffs* I think I'm pretty resistant to Kool-Aid poisoning at this point. I just can't eat dairy anymore. You know what that's like, Dipper? NO ICE CREAM!?

—

Mr. Cipher: You see, Dipper. The last time I was unfortunate enough to have met you, you got me introspective. Where did I go wrong..? So, after a lengthy conversation with Xemüg, I came to a personal realization. In the pursuit of eternal salvation for Humanity, I've forgotten to salvage myself! And my idea of self care? KILLING Dipper!

—

Wybie: Thank you, Mr. Pines. Under my rule, I VILL MAKE CAMP MYSTERY GREAT AGAIN!

—

Wybie: Remember your place, Stanford. I am in charge today. Now, what seemed to be the problem? There is a missing child?

Ford: What?! No! I’m sure this is a misunderstanding. ‘Missing’ is such a strong word. I’m sure Neil is just… Hiding!

Stan: Ford! I swear to God, if you lost-

Ford: BECAUSE WE ARE PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK!

Wybie: Someone is hiding from camp activities? Unacceptable! We will make an example of him! LET THE HUNT BEGIN! *Thunder crash*

—

Lili: Where are your papers?

Norman: … Uh, I'm not quite sure what you mean.

Lili: Your papers, vhere are they? It's a very simple question, Norman… You are only hurting yourself by lying.

Norman: … Oh. Oh, you want more construction paper!

Lili: Ja, vhat did you think I meant? I'm not some sort of secret police or something

—

Mabel: Dipper! You must believe!

Coraline: Yeah, Dipper! Believe in the magic!

Raz: Believe or I’m punch you!

—

Wybie: I think we can all agree that I am the best camper.

Coraline: Hold up! I thought we agreed that I was the best camper! I’m the coolest.

Lili: But I’m the most powerful!

Raz: No, I’m the most powerful!

Neil: Yet I’m the most adorable!

—

Lili: Back off! I only bully Dipper Tuesdays, Thursdays, and non-denominational holidays. I understand he celebrates the Sabbath.

—

Raz: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest trick of all! Getting a cynical, close-minded asshole to believe in magic!

#coraline #mystery kids #paranorman #gravity falls #psychonauts #the mystery kids #ask stuff #answered ask #camp camp #incorrect quotes

[journalofanangel]

what causes me to self destruct?

the fear of losing, the fear of missing out, the fear of disappointing someone (regardless of our relationship or how close we are), the fear of being hurt or abandoned... i also overthink and blame myself and can't separate myself from my thoughts and emotions.

I feel pressured, ashamed, and anxious. I get a rush of adrenaline that is mostly, if not entirely, shame and anxiety. I get nervous and, even if I feel like I'm thinking clearly, I'm still irrational and I can't put two and two together. this might have to do with my disorders unfortunately.

If you label yourself as a bad person, you’ll start to believe that something’s inherently wrong with you and that you’ll never improve. Instead, by thinking of yourself as a good, worthy person who makes mistakes, you give yourself permission to grow. (quote)

i struggle with understanding why my friends think im a good person, why they love me, or why they don't think I'm a horrible person. i feel a lot of shame around who I am, where I come from, and the lies I've told. i feel like I have so many reasons to feel horrible and I feel like others should think I'm horrible too.

i know there's something positive to take from this but I'll add that on later.

you could tell yourself that you are allowed to choose a healthy alternative to your self-destructive behavior. For instance, you could turn to alcohol when you’re in pain, but you’re also allowed to call your friend for support.

the important thing for my to remember is that I'm allowed to rely on people. i can't consistently rely on most of the people around me because I don't feel understood or safe around them. i feel like if i don't have someone to ground me, i spiral. i can ground myself at times but then i still get scared. i get scared so easily unfortunately.

my friends have told me it's okay to reach out and rely on them. it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to talk to them, it's okay. i never really feel safe around my family though. i feel so disgusting around them. they say they're happy to be part of these things but it feels so gross every time. i don't want to be around them.

i wanna feel safe... i wish this one friend could feel safe around me but with this kind of behaviour and this mindset, I get why she can't. i understand why.

i wanna find some healthier coping mechanisms that work in the moment, things that can help me slow down when I can't rely on others.. I'd like to not be so dependent.

If avoiding self-destruction is intensely difficult, try waiting 30 minutes to engage in the behavior instead of acting on the impulse right away.

I've tried this, I think I just need to dedicate myself to it. especially when I feel myself having doubts that end up being true...

Overcoming self-destructive behavior is not an overnight process. Practicing self-compassion and forgiveness is essential as you work toward healthier coping skills. When you’ve relied on self-destructive actions to numb your pain for so long, you likely feel some degree of mental, emotional, or physical addiction to the behaviors.

I always expect to heal overnight, I expect to fuck up once then never do it again.. I never expect kindness or forgiveness, i scare myself into acting how I think I "should" and then inevitably end up shaming myself into acting a certain way.

this is really hard. i feel horrible but I'm trying to improve, I just hate hurting people over and over like this. im tired of disappointing people. I've been tired of this. it's so hard being consistent. it's hard but I'm trying. I've stopped caring if people notice or if they care, this isn't about them at this point. it's for me and, inevitably, the people I love. i can't keep shaming myself and running away.

I should bring this up to my therapist. this can be something she helps me with. i want to stop focusing on the past and putting so much energy into feeling bad or being angry about what's already happened. I want to heal, I want to do better.

i want to love people without deeply wounding them. i know the hurt and the mistakes are inevitable, we're only human after all and love is a complicated thing, but I want to love them anyway.

I want to love and I want to be good. I want to feel whole and safe.

saturday march 4th 2023 2030

#my journal #journalofanangel #bipolar disorder #angel's thoughts