#Lazlayon

[sophierequests]

Could I please request a Toyla x reader..? (Bless you for writing for everyone I can’t find any for him 😭) they’re crushing on each other and them having to share a bed 🥺

you are foolish to want

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Pairing: Tolya Yul-Bataar x gn!Reader

A/N: After reading this you might ask me: Sophie, will you ever write anything else than Hurt/Comfort when you get requests that aren't in any explicit genre? The answer to that question is: no <3 Also, the second time of using horses in a Tolya fanfic?? What has overcome me?? Thank you for the request! I hope you'll like this, even though the one bed trope isn't the main focus of this story </3

Summary: Tolya and the reader are on their way to the Lazlayon until unforeseen circumstances put a slight dent in their plans.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff (if you squint)

Word Count: 5.8K (oh god)

Warnings: Mention of almost dying, broken ribs and hurt feelings

The silence between you became louder the longer you indulged in it. It wasn’t really silence, so to say. It was more the state of not speaking. The forest surrounding you was anything but silent. Between the creaking of old rotting larch trees swaying in the wind and the padding of hooves against the more or less solid ground, nothing ever really felt quiet. 

He couldn’t be sure how much longer the path ahead of you could possibly still drag on; all he knew was that he likely wouldn’t be able to stay awake for the entirety of it. The tension of riding next to you alone would have usually been enough to keep him from falling asleep. Hell, the thought of you alone did the job well enough already. Yet something about this time felt different. 

It was just the two of you. No Tamar. No Nikolai. No Zoya. No one else to worry or think about. Just the two of you, wordlessly riding next to each other. 

And while his brain screamed at him to use that factor in his favour, to finally make some sort of move, his body recoiled at the impulse of opening his mouth and articulating his feelings. Whenever he even attempted to do so, an obstruction seemed to form inside his larynx, blocking the feeble sounds that might’ve crossed the breach of his vocal folds. Maybe it was his heart leaping out of his chest and ending up in the enclosure of his throat, desperate to be spat out and stowed away inside a neat little box that he could disregard as long as he pleased. Maybe it was bile at the thought of having to come clean about the months and months of yearning he had been subjected to since meeting you. Maybe both of these options rang true; he couldn’t be sure. The sole thing he was painfully sure of was that it had to be closely related to you. 

Everything was somehow related to you. You had always been everywhere and nowhere; everything and nothing at the same time. At least to him, he hoped. You occupied his mind, his space, and his time whenever he should be focused on anything else. When he wanted, no, needed to focus on anything else. You were everywhere just as much as you were nowhere. Nowhere he could reach. Touch. Hold. You had always been more of an idealistic daydream, rather than something concrete. And just like most dreams, you would be foolish to pursue.

“Do you think we’ll reach the Lazlayon before the night sets in?” Your voice broke through the air like a gunshot, forcing his gaze away from the impenetrable barrier of trees next to him. You stared at him expectantly, waiting until he could will himself to produce a coherent sentence.

He let out a huffed breath, absent-mindedly fiddling with the reins in his hands as if they were a set of tarot cards that would permit him to look into the future. “If we keep up this pace, we’ll likely get there right before sundown.”

“Oh, lovely. Just in time for Count Kirigin to welcome us. I’m sure he’s already buzzing with excitement,” you chuckled dryly, giving your companion a distinctive eye roll to accentuate your annoyance. 

Tolya rolled his shoulders, the mention of the count’s name sending a wave of unease through him. He didn’t necessarily hold any tangible grudges against him, he didn’t know him well enough to form any sort of well-shaped opinion of him to begin with, but what he knew was that the man was an absolute rake. If the countless times of resolute flirting with anyone that didn’t leave his presence on the count of three wasn’t enough to support this hypothesis, Nikolai’s long-winded tales of his drinking and lavished parties sure filled the gaps. Count Kirigin as a whole simply wasn’t a coeval he wanted to be around. Not when he was busy enough with keeping his emotions in check while you were close to him. 

“There’s still hope that he chose to go to bed instead of waiting by the door for us to arrive. I doubt that he’s all too invested in our presence. After all, Zoya isn’t accompanying us, so he won’t have much to ogle at,” the Heartrender objected slyly, using the scarce situation of being alone with you to voice his obvious disdain for the man in question.

“We can only hope.” You clasped your hands together, holding them in front of your chest as if you were in prayer. “At least we’ll share the same fate if it comes down to him having genuinely waited on us.” 

He nodded in agreement. It was a comforting thought to know that he was there with you. The fact that you were meant to take on the journey to the Lazlayon on your own at first disconcerted him greatly. Not that he wouldn’t have trusted you to come back in one piece, however, having you be out of his sight for so long without a possibility of contacting you made him uncomfortably aware of the actual extent of his feelings.

Another wave of silence settled around you. It was more comfortable this time. Especially since it didn’t take too long for you to speak up again. “I’m glad Nikolai decided to have you come along.”

His smile falters for just a split second, the wave of emotion your simple statement had created stripping him of the last bit of feigned confidence he had. Perhaps his years of studying and breaking down ancient poetry had gotten the best of him. Convinced him that there was more to the comment than merely you being glad that someone else had to suffer through the hours on hours of travel. But that’s what you would have said, right? You would have said ‘someone’ instead of explicitly mentioning him. During times like these, he genuinely missed Zoya’s bluntness to bring him back down to earth.

“Oh, uhm, it’s good to know that you don’t see my presence as patronising,” he stammers, his voice hitching and cracking as if he was a puberty-stricken young boy again.

You tilted your head and looked at him with narrowed but gentle eyes. The same eyes that always seemed to magically find his own whenever he had stared at you for a bit too long. “Your presence could never be patronising to me. I like being around you.”

In an ideal world, he would have told you that the feeling was mutual. The sentence would have rolled off his tongue equally as casually as it had off yours, and you both could have continued your travels with the knowledge that you appreciated each other’s company. This was not an ideal world though. In fact, he didn’t even give you a verbal response. Instead, he hastily turned his head away from you, futilely trying to cover the gleaming blush that had spread across his cheeks in a matter of seconds.

Once again, the steady whirring and rustling replaced your short-lived stab at a conversation. It took another hour for the unkempt thicket to gradually turn into a widespread field, stretching out in front of you until it was obscured by the dense artificial fog that hid the watercraft testing grounds of the Gilded Bog. It would have been a stunning view if you hadn’t been aware of the massive amount of work that lay behind it.

A sigh of relief escaped your lips when Count Kirigin’s estate came into view. Your whole body ached after riding for hours on end without a break, making you long for a warm bed and a good night’s sleep. It didn’t take long for Mother Fortuna to knock that idea out of your head though.

Just as you had intended to throw some sort of sarcastic comment in your friend’s direction, a sudden sound of a rifle being fired cut through the forest behind you. After that, everything continued to go downhill horribly fast. 

You barely managed to calm down your horse, yanking the reins to the side to let it spur out its fright by trotting in a circle. Tolya, on the other hand, was less lucky. He hadn’t been able to react quick enough, his horse rearing on its hind legs before he was in the right mindset to properly hold onto the straps of his saddle. He was thrown off its back quite roughly, his back hitting the hard ground with a bone-chilling thud.

“Tolya!” you called, dismounting your horse without thinking about the looming threat of someone directing their gunshots at you. It was as if you were passing through a tunnel, eyes only focused on what was in front of you.

A litany of his name spilt out of your mouth as you knelt down next to him; you repeated it so many times that it didn’t even feel like a real word anymore. But no amount of repetition could bring him to regain consciousness. He remained laying on the ground, perfectly still and with no reaction to anything you did. Years and years of basic medical training flickered through your mind, hopelessly trying to give you an impulse that might be able to save his life. Your hands promptly moved to the pronounced column of his throat, a motion that would have been intimate if you weren’t filled with panic. The skin underneath your fingers was warm - and unexpectedly soft - as you dug for any form of heartbeat. When you finally localised a faint but rhythmic thudding, you sucked in a deep breath, momentarily considering changing your stance on the Saints if they had been the ones to grant you this minuscule act of reassurance.

“Tolya,” you tried again, hands cradling the sides of his face as you shifted him onto your lap. His eyelids fluttered open briefly, immediately seeking out contact with yours. It took another moment for him to recognise what position he was currently in. Your hands on his face and his head on your lap felt almost too good of a situation to be anything but a dream. 

He wanted to say something, anything for that matter, but a piercing pain in his chest caused him to let out a stifled groan. It hurt to move. It hurt to speak. It hurt to breathe. His whole body felt like it had been pulled apart and reassembled without a manual, and you couldn’t do anything to ease his discomfort.

“Hey.” You let your thumbs smooth over the ridges of his cheekbones, your feather-light touch creating an embarrassingly visible trail of goosebumps all over his arms. Everything you did was too soft. Too delicate. Too wholly overwhelming. “I know it hurts. Just stay here for a while and-”

“Saints!” A shrill voice made your head shoot up, the memory of the gunshot striking you like a brick. When a familiar figure scrambled out of the woods, an extravagant hunting rifle strung over his back and a mortified look on his face, you began to piece together what was going on. “I’m terribly sorry! I- We were just coming back from our hunting trip and we didn’t- Oh, no.” The count ran a shaky hand through his neatly slicked-back hair, causing a few stiff strands to fall onto his forehead.

Something inside you wanted to be mad at him. It was his fault after all. If he had been more careful and a little less trigger-happy none of this would have happened. However, Tolya’s weight still very much present on your legs substituted your anger with worry. “Kirigin, I’ll need some help getting him to the Lazlayon. He needs to be looked at by someone more…medically-inclined than me.”

Emil nodded his head reverently, calling over a few of the other men that had joined him in his hunting party. With their help, you heaved him back to his feet. His nails dug into your shoulder as you helped him walk to your horse; neither of you trusted his horse enough to not throw him off again. It was quite the struggle, but after a lot of cursing and griping coming from the normally very composed Heartrender, you reached the opulent mansion just before the sun had vanished behind the mountain range completely.

Upon entering, the count immediately called for a medik, showing the two of you to his drawing room while he flittered through the foyer in a frenzy. Tolya let himself fall onto one of the plush divans with a groan. His hand flew to his side as soon as his back met the fabric underneath him, flinching as he seemed to have pressed down too hard. It was a strange picture to see him look this helpless. He appeared small and vulnerable, almost as if a bare touch could cause him to break and crumble.

“Don’t move,” you requested gently, one of your hands reaching out to take hold of his. He was aware that this gesture was merely meant to give him a piece of reassurance; you wanted to give him something to hold on to, something to get his mind off of the erupting pain in his chest. Still, a nimble twinge of hope sent a burning wave of longing through his body. “I think you may have broken a rib. After your fall earlier that would be one of the lesser evils,” you assessed, letting the fingers of your free hand brush over the clothed expanse of his chest. “We should probably pass a message to Nikolai. You can’t be expected to take on the ride back anytime soon. But all of that can wait until tomorrow.”

The medik arrived just as you closed your mouth, forbidding Tolya from saying anything in response to your short-lived ramblings. He was a bit miffed by the fact that the person treating him was a simple medik instead of an actual Healer that could have fixed him up in the blink of an eye. However, a faint memory of Kuwei accidentally setting a whole section of the laboratory on fire told him that their presence was a bit more required downstairs. 

He was ripped from his thoughts when the medik pushed down on his ribcage with unexpected force. A jolt of pain flashed through him again, and embarrassingly enough, that only caused his grip on your hand to tighten. You didn’t show any sign of discomfort as he did so, entirely concentrated on providing the tiniest bit of comfort you could offer him.

“Fractured rib,” the woman beside you muttered, her brows furrowed as she looked at his exposed chest stomach. “This will take a few weeks to heal on its own. We can send for a Healer as soon as one’s available, but that will probably take just as long. The new project is keeping everyone busy, I’m afraid.”

“I will send a letter to the King,” the Count interjected, rubbing his palms together in an attempt to cope with his nervousness. “The Healers at the Grand Palace are often more willing to make the trip than the ones we have on our hands here. I’m certain he would do everything in his power to ensure that one of his most trusted…guards is back in his service as soon as possible.”

“I suppose that would be for the better.” The medik took out a few differently coloured vials from the pouch on her hip, handing them to you as if the person needing them wasn’t also in the room with you. “These are painkillers. Make sure he takes one of these twice a day.” You nodded along slowly, letting go of Tolya’s hand to not drop any of the flimsy flasks. “It would be best if someone keeps an eye on him for now. Especially after taking the medicine. In case the pain gets worse, you know where to find me.” She directed her gaze at Emil who merely dismissed her with a grateful wave of his hand.

“Thank you for…taking the initiative.” You gave him a brief smile, sitting on the armrest of the sofa where Tolya was still laying. Slowly but surely, the heaviness of the day began seeping through your bones.

“But of course! That’s the least I could do after causing such a mishap.” He pursed his lips but opted to force them into a straight line while he pondered his next words. “I shall send for a servant to mind you during the night if that’s alright with you. Someone should probably be there to attend to you, just in case something happens.” 

Tolya looked up at him, evidently not too fond of his suggestion. The idea of having some stranger even do as much as stay in the same room as he slept didn’t sit right with him at all. “I…appreciate your kindness, Count Kirigin. However, I would prefer it if you refrained from doing anything like that. I’m certain it will be fine if I’m left unsupervised for the night.”

“The count has a point,” you reasoned, a distinct expression of worry present on your face. “You’re hurt; don’t be so blasé about it. It would genuinely be better if someone is there for you. At least for tonight.”

“Maybe you could stay with him for the night if it’s the aspect of familiarity he’s concerned with?” Emil offered, his eyes darting between the two of you nervously. If his upper body had allowed it, Tolya would have shot upright in his seat after hearing that. As much as he hated the notion of having someone else practically babysit him while he was asleep, anyone else would be a better option than you. He wouldn’t survive spending a night under these circumstances.

His suggestion caught you off guard with what felt like brute force. He was a good friend; one of your closest actually. Yet you had never even seen the inside of his bedroom. Spending the night in the same room, no matter under what circumstances, seemed like a terrible way to improve that friendship.

“I… Tolya? Your call.” You shifted all the responsibility of decision-making onto the Heartrender, giving him an apologetic look while he struggled to find the right words.

He mentally considered all the implications this action might entail. What if he snored? What if he talked in his sleep? What if the medicine made him do or say things he might regret? What if nothing out of the ordinary happens and he was just diving into the worst-case scenarios? “If I have to choose, I’d prefer your presence,” he mumbled, instantly clamping his eyes shut in order to avoid looking at your face while you let his words sink in. 

“It’s decided then,” you chirped, slumping off your seat to carefully place the ampoules in your bag. You sounded pretty much unbothered by the prospect of sharing a room for the night. Weren’t you even a little bit uncomfortable with that?  He should be glad that you were taking this situation so well, however, your unexpected nonchalance concerning the topic made every last speck of hope that you could possibly like him back dwindle down to nothing.

“Very well!” Kirigin clasped his hands together with a resounding clap, the jovial nature returning to his face in an instant. “Now, if you’d be so inclined - and able -, please follow me upstairs to the guest bedrooms.”

The guest bedrooms of the count’s estate reminded you of the countless ornate rooms you had seen at the Grand Palace; broad wide rooms with high ceilings and long windows that made them appear more like a makeshift dining hall than an actual bedchamber. Needless to say, the Lazlayon was a bit more bucolic than what you were used to seeing in the capital, but the white walls and the rococo king-size bed definitely opposed every notion of humility one might expect if there was no prior knowledge of Kirigin’s spendthrift way of living.

Neither of you really had enough willpower to change into your nightclothes, so you merely rid yourself of the thick jackets and clunky boots, which you mindlessly tossed on top of your bags. The bedding would be changed in the morning anyway.

It was a terribly awkward scene, the tension practically electrifying the air around you. Tolya sat on the bed, his back perched on the carved headboard while he watched you scurry around the room like a rabbit in front of a rifle. You also seemed to have realised what the offer of staying in the same room for the night might imply; your previous casualness being gone completely.

“Here,” you said, handing him one of the vials the medik had given you earlier. He took the medicine from your hands, eying it with a suspicious expression. In comparison to his hand, the tiny bottle looked like a prop right out of a doll house. The image of comparing your hand to his popped into your mind, but you hastily shooed it away, thinking about how inappropriate that thought was. “Drink. I’ll get you some water to help with the taste in case you need it.” 

Quickly, he downed the viscous medicine, cringing at the sickly-sweet flavour that spread inside his mouth as he swallowed. As soon as the liquid went down his throat, he had to stifle a cough, the taste only getting worse the longer he occupied his mind with it.

You plopped down on the empty spot next to him, cautious to not spill any of the water that you held out for him. When he reached out to take the glass, your hands touched his for a split second, your fingertips barely brushing over his. Still, that simple gesture was enough to make his head spin. Saints, he hated that you had that effect on him.

“Thank you,” he breathed out, not quite knowing what exactly he thanked you for. Thank you for being there for me when I fell off that damned horse? Thank you for holding my hand earlier? Thank you for staying with me tonight? Thank you for getting me that glass of water? He could probably think about at least a hundred things to thank you for off the top of his head.

“How are you feeling?” Your voice sounded just as sweet as the medicine tasted, he thought. He just liked listening to your voice a whole lot better. Were the painkillers already kicking in?

“Better. Sore, but better. I’m dreading thinking about what Nikolai will say once he gets wind of this.” He let his head slump against the wall behind him, his eyes glancing at you furtively as you scanned his body for any sort of unease or pain he might still feel.

“Forget Nikolai. He can survive without you for a bit longer. And Tamar is still there to save his ass when it comes down to it.” You gave him a quick smile, taking his hand to give it a reassuring squeeze before leaving his side again. “The only thing that matters now is that you’re getting better. No matter whether that happens naturally or with the help of a Healer."

“I’d prefer it happening through the help of a Healer,” he muttered under his breath, scowling at the idea of having to spend another six weeks alone in the confines of a bed without being able to follow his usual duties.

“Well, an actual break would do you some good every once in a while. After everything that Nikolai put you through during the last few years, you should be eligible to take off at least a few months without him being allowed to say anything against it.”

“So eager to get rid of me now?”

A sharp snort escaped your mouth as you looked at him, the feigned pout on his lips making him look like a kicked puppy. Sometimes you had the suspicion that Nikolai’s inherent obnoxiousness was rubbing off on him.

“Believe it or not, I still like being around you. Even though you now gave me the added stress factor of having to keep a close eye on you when we’re around horses.” You walked over to one of the cushioned armchairs that decorated the corner of the room, leaning against it without actually sitting in it. “And If I really would be so eager to get rid of you I wouldn’t have agreed to play your nursemaid for the night. Especially not if I had known that I’d have to sleep in one of these forsaken chairs. Kirigin could have at least given us a double room.”

Tolya’s previously playful expression dropped. He had been so hung up on the fact that you’d be with him for the entire night that he had completely neglected to think about the logistics of his request. Had he known that you’d end up sleeping in a chair rather than a bed, he would have answered differently. 

An unwelcome thought clawed its way into his mind; he wanted to strangle it before it could properly manifest. Had he been Nikolai or Tamar he would have immediately sprung into action, offering you his bed, and probably also his heart while he was at it. But he wasn’t like either of them. He wasn’t brash, or romantic, or even socially intelligent. These attributes would be foreign on him, like a coat that was just a bit too big to fit correctly - contorting his actual silhouette to make him look like something he wasn’t.

“Are you okay?” you asked, a worried undertone present as you spoke. He quickly closed his mouth, straightening out his features to appear more collected than he felt before fixing his gaze on you again. You didn’t only sound worried, you also looked the part; eyebrows tightly knitted together while a distinct flash of concern gloomed in your eyes. “Are you still in pain? Should I get-”

“No, it’s- I’m fine, Y/N. I was just thinking…” 

“Care to share with the class?”

Even though everything inside him rebelled against opening his mouth and speaking his mind, his heart moved quicker than his mind could process. “Sleeping in an armchair can’t be comfortable. We could share the bed,” he trailed off, watching as you gawked at him like a fish on land. “If you want to, that is.” He felt the need to add that, even if it was only enough to calm his raging nerves.

“Tolya, you’re hurt. You need the rest more than I do. I can’t possibly do that in good conscience.” The room was filled to the brim with the nervousness exuding off of the two of you. It was almost sad to watch you two stumble over your own words, acting as if you were two little schoolchildren that both had a crush on the other.

Seemingly taking your refusal as a challenge, he awkwardly shuffled towards the edge of the bed, leaving the other side very clearly unoccupied. “Would that be enough space for you?” Your eyes darted from the comfortable-looking bed to the stiff armchair you had originally intended to sleep in. Much to your dismay, the bed did look more inviting than the chair could ever be.

“I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” was everything you could muster up to talk yourself out of it. A futile attempt at not giving in to the want clouding your coherent thoughts ever since being in the same room as Tolya.

“You wouldn’t.” You couldn’t. “Trust me, I don’t mind. I couldn’t let you sleep in a bloody chair with a good conscience either.” As if to underline his statement, he patted the empty space next to him.

With an exasperated sigh, you shook off the roots that had metaphorically formed around your ankles and moved to the offered side of the bed. You felt terribly awkward as you slid into bed right next to him. You two had never been this close. Not in this context.

“Thank you,” you whispered, laying flat on your back with your hands folded over your stomach. He mirrored your movement soon after, albeit a bit slower.

He wanted to say something - anything - to relieve some of the tension buzzing between you. But everything he could have said wouldn’t have improved the situation in the slightest. Just like a few hours ago in the woods, the silence was anything but silent.

“You really scared me earlier, do you know that?” you mumbled, breaking through the uncomfortable silence. Again, he thought. “This could have ended with way worse consequences than a fractured rib.”

“I know.” The words were heavy on his tongue, suffocating him. Up until the possibility that worse things could have happened had sounded like an impossible what-if situation to him. But judging by the honest fear in your voice, he really could have suffered a fate way worse than being forced to rest for an uncertain amount of time. The only feeling he could recall after his fall was the dizziness of laying on top of your lap and the intoxicating touch of your hands on his cheeks. He didn’t even think that he genuinely registered the pain in his chest until he felt the impulse to move. “Thankfully, we didn’t have to find out exactly how badly this could have ended.”

“Good. I honestly wouldn’t have known what to do if you hadn’t woken up. What I would do without you.” The last sentence was so unexpected that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. You had your way of catching him off-guard with your words that was so brutal, but equally as stunning.

“You won’t have to that out either. Not if I can help it.” He wanted to tell you. He wanted to tell you so badly that breathing normally became more and more difficult. But he couldn’t. Not right now. And maybe not ever.

Silence fell over you again. It was such a stark contrast to the chaos raging inside his head that he barely noticed when you turned to lay on your side, facing him. He forced his eyes to close in hopes of at least getting a few full hours of sleep before he was pushed back into a world where it wasn’t normal for you to sleep next to him.

“Tolya?” you whispered, resisting the urge to nudge him. 

“Mhm?” he murmured, eyes still clamped shut.

He heard you shuffling next to him, probably to put a bit of distance between you and him. “I have to tell you something.” You shuffled again, the mattress giving in ever so slightly when you did. You were sitting up now. “This might be a terrible time to do so, but I have to get it off my chest.” That caught his attention enough to look at you again. You sounded so serious.

“Uhm, sure, go for it.” To say that he was concerned would have been an understatement. His whole body tensed, much to the dismay of his fractured ribcage.

“I don’t recall the last time when I was genuinely so afraid of someone I care about not being alright, but what I felt when you didn’t wake up at first was way worse than just being scared. I'm not sure how to tell you this, and I’ve been putting this off for quite some time now. But I don’t just care about you like how I care about the others. I think I'm in love with you." The last words tumbled from your lips in a hurry, so quickly that he almost didn’t comprehend what you were saying. He could have sworn that this was a fever dream. Maybe the medicine had kicked in way stronger than he expected it to. Maybe he was genuinely going mad. Whatever it was, it didn’t feel real.

You realised how badly timed this confession was as soon as you saw the completely befuddled expression that was plastered all over his face. Suddenly, sleeping on the armchair looked way more appealing than the shared bed. You felt like you were trapped in a mass of writhing quicksand, slowly but surely devouring you until there was nothing left to take. This was way more embarrassing than you had imagined.

“I, uhm, this was a mistake.” You felt your cheeks heat up, burning you until you couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to get out of this bed. Preferably also this room. “It would be best if I leave, I’m so sorry. I’ll go downstairs to call fo-” 

Tolya seized your wrist just as you wanted to throw the covers off of you. The rash movement caused him to wince slightly, but he didn’t let go of you. A thousand questions forced their way into his mind, and he could answer none of them. 

“Wait.” He didn’t know what else to say. But he knew that you needed to stay. “Are…are you being sincere?”

“What? Of course? Do you genuinely think I would make a joke out of something like that? Especially in our…current situation?” you questioned, absolutely bewildered that he thought you were joking around.

At this point, his face was beet red. He couldn’t tell where his embarrassment came from. Whether it was the fact that he had been tiptoeing around his feelings for months by now while you felt the same or the fact that he had the genuine audacity to ask you if you were kidding.

“Tolya, I can understand that this makes you uncom-”

“No, no, don’t!” His grip on your wrist tightened as you tried to wriggle yourself out of his grasp. That was his cue to say something. Anything if it made you stay.

“What do you mean?”

“I love you too,” he blurted, maybe a bit too quickly. But the fear of having to watch you leave made his heart act before his brain could.

“You do?”

“Do you genuinely think I would make a joke out of something like that?” He gave you a sheepish smile, his eyes gleaming with adoration. Saints, he really was in love. “I never said anything because I didn’t think you’d feel the same.”

He had intended to let go of your hand, giving you a moment to process what he had just said. You didn’t let him pull away though. Instead, you took his hand in your own, tightly squeezing it before allowing your lips to curl up into a wide smile.

“Sounds like we’re both idiots then.”

“At least we’re idiots in love.”

“But idiots nonetheless," you laughed, your heart thudding even louder when you heard Tolya join you.

Taglist:

Grishaverse fics in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light @treasureofmy-heart

Tolya Yul-Bataar: @juneberrie @horny4knives

#tolya x reader #tolya yul bataar x reader #tolya yul bataar #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #netflix shadow and bone

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Steel That Went Through Hottest Fire: Chapter XVIII - From Darkness into the Light

Chapter Summary: You and Aleksander finally find a moment to yourselves, during which he reveals to you what he already has to Nikolai. He also has a confrontation with his mother, who still believes he has ill intents. And at long last, Alina and Mal arrive to Os Alta.

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Alina Starkov/Mal Oretsev

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Nikolai Lantsov, Genya Safin, Baghra, Alina Starkov, Mal Oretsev

Word Count: 4252

A/N: Smut alert. If you don't like this or are underage, please, don't read from "'Yes', he says and goes down on you." to "'That was… wow,' you breathe out when Aleksander pulls out.". Enjoy! Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389090100549/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389090100511/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389090100510/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

@drinix

Your heart is beating like crazy. Standing in the Darkling's chambers, you keep thinking about what has just happened. The Apparat and Yuri. The knife. People declaring you a Saint. Nikolai's promise…

Bring me Alina Starkov.

… Why?

Oh, I don't want her dead. We need her to win this. And besides… we have a long overdue… chat…

For a moment you thought he wouldn't agree. But he sent Tolya to get Alina and Mal at once. You can't wait for this meeting.

You shake your head. Now it's not time for this. You look at the door. And at that moment Kirigan walks in. He stops and for a moment you simply stare at each other.

'[Y/N],' he breathes out finally and rushes to you. He cups your face and kisses you like a man starved. You gasp and answer with the same fervour, tangling your fingers in his hair, which earns you a groan.

'Aleksander…' you sigh. He grunts and presses you closer to himself.

'Finally,' he murmurs. 'Finally, alone. It was driving me crazy. They didn't give us a single moment to ourselves in Lazlayon.'

'Well, they still don't trust us,' you remind him, playing with his hair. 'They feared we would be plotting. Or start a riot.'

'Or make out instead of working,' the Darkling hums. 'Because that what would have happened if they had let us be alone. I'd have been kissing you senseless and you wouldn't have been able to work on the antidote.'

'Well… seems like you have to make up for all the time we've lost,' you say, a mischievous glint in your eyes. Aleksander chuckles and presses a few kisses to your neck. Your breath hitches.

'Tell me what you want, milaya,' he almost purrs. 'I'm at your command. Whatever you need, I'll give you.'

'I want…' you start slowly, your hands going slowly down, until they reach his pants. He gasps when you push them inside and find his manhood.

'I want this… in here,' you finish, taking his hand and leading it to your core. 'I need it there. Please. I've waited enough.'

'You don't have to plead for it, lapushka,' Kirigan says, his voice husky. 'I'll give it to you there whenever you need it. I just waited for you to be ready.'

'I am now,' you whisper and kiss his jaw. 'Take me… Aleksander.'

In a moment, you find yourself in his arms. He barges into his bedroom and basically throws you on his bed. He stares at you with lust, quickly undressing himself. You get rid of your clothes as well.

'Mine,' he growls as he looms over you. 'All mine.'

'Yours,' you murmur, tracing his chest with your fingers, and look him in the eyes. 'And you're mine.'

'Yes,' Kirigan confirms, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. 'Completely, utterly yours. As long as you'll have me.'

'Even forever?' you ask cheekily. But he becomes serious. He looks at you and gulps. You frown, confused at this sudden change in his mood.

'It may be more possible than you think,' he says quietly, staring at your amplifier. You touch it, slowly understanding.

'I'm… immortal now?' you ask with disbelief. Aleksander nods.

'I can feel it,' he says. 'Thanks to my nichevoy'a. They connected us. And… I can't exactly explain it… but I know you… you're like me now.'

'So…' you say slowly, 'unless I am killed… I won't be forced to leave you in the end? I won't leave you alone?'

The Darkling's heart melts. That is what is your first thought after he told you that you're immortal? He truly doesn't deserve you.

'Unless I'll drive you away,' he answers. You laugh.

'Never,' you say, shaking your head, and smile brilliantly at him. 'Good. I'm really glad, then.'

'Being immortal is not easy,' he warns you. 'You will watch everyone you care about wither and die.'

'But I won't be alone,' you say and entwine your fingers together. 'Neither will you. Not anymore. And immortality is not so scary if you have someone to share it with, right?'

The gaze of absolute adoration and devotion he gives you, causes you to blush furiously. He kisses you harshly, groaning into your lips. Before you can response, he pulls away.

'Yes', he says and goes down on you. You gasp and your eyes go wide.

'Aleksander!' you groan, bucking your hips. He pins them down. He devours you as if you were last meal. His lips and fingers know exactly where to press and how. He licks all your wetness, but ironically, the more he licks the more it leaks from you. His fingers stretch you, prepare you for him. You whine when you can't take it anymore.

'A little bit more, my love,' Kirigan says softly and you cry out when he pushes another finger in. 'That's it. Are you close?'

You nod, panting. He continues his ministrations for a moment longer. And when you feel you're about to cross the edge… he pulls out. You exhale shakily and look at him.

He stares at you for a moment, admiring your sweating face, your dilated pupils. He sees the desire in them. For him. All of that is for him. He's no longer alone. And he never will be.

'I love you,' he says softly. You smile at him. He sees tears glistening in your eyes. His heart clenches with guilt. He definitely should have told you about his feelings sooner.

'I love you as I've never loved anyone,' he declares, his voice serious. You cup his cheek and he leans into it.

'And I love you,' you say. He smiles at you and positions himself at your entrance. You both moan when he finally pushes in. He waits a moment, giving you time to adjust, and then starts moving. Slowly, at first. But he speeds up. Faster and faster.

'Aleksander!' you moan, throwing your head back. He groans and starts kneading your breasts. You gasp and push them into his hands, needing more.

'[Y/N],' he says in awe and joins your lips again. You put your hand on his nape and pull him towards you, wanting him closer. Wanting to become one with him.

His moves become sloppier. But he holds on. He doesn't want to end it yet. So, he slows down, which makes you whine in frustration. He can't help but chuckle.

'Something's wrong, moya milaya?' he asks teasingly. You glare at him and buckle your hips. He gasps. You smirk.

'Little vixen,' he growls and sucks on your nipple. He bites it gently. You cry out, your toes curling.

'Please…' you whisper. Aleksander would want to prolong it, to make you truly enjoy it. To treat you like you deserve. But at this moment he's relieved you're so close. He's been holding back for so long it hurts him to continue doing it.

'Together, my love,' he murmurs and speeds up again. You're both moaning and panting now. And finally, you reach peak at the same time, groaning each other's names.

'That was… wow,' you breathe out when Aleksander pulls out. He lays next to you, huffing.

'Yes… wow,' he agrees. You turn to look at him. He's staring at the ceiling, his expression pensive.

'What are you thinking about already?' you ask. He smiles wryly and looks at you.

'I love you,' he says, causing you to blink in confusion. 'And I'm happy. This feels… strange. I can't help but waiting for something bad to happen… and to lose you.'

'I'm here,' you whisper, joining your hands. 'And I'm not going anywhere. I promise.'

He smiles at you and kisses your knuckles. You shift a bit to be able to touch his forehead with yours.

'You promise?' he asks, forcing his voice not to crack.

'As long as you'll have me,' you answer sincerely. He grins.

'Forever, then,' he says.

'Forever it is,' you agree. Aleksander kisses your forehead and embraces you. You both close your eyes, content. And at peace.

*

Next day, you're in the workshop. Nothing surprising nor new. But this time, since the world already knows he's alive or at least everyone in Os Alta, Kirigan is there with you. Normally, you'd be happy to spend more time together. But the way he looks at you… is terribly distracting. And others glancing at you two doesn't help it.

'Remember what you said last night?' you finally ask, having enough.

'Which part?' the Darkling asks.

'About me not being able to work because of you,' you remind him, sending him a pointed look. He has an audacity to grin.

'I remember saying you wouldn't be able to work if we were alone, because I'd be kissing you senseless,' he says, causing you to blush. 'Neither of the conditions are fulfilled, so I don't see a problem.'

You force yourself not to look at others. You can't bear to stand their gazes.

'It appears all you have to do is to stare at me to distract me,' you say, causing him to smirk. 'Don't you have work to do? Or something?'

Before he can answer, Nikolai walks in. He locates you and marches straight to you.

'Perfect, I was looking for you two,' he says and clasps his hand behind his back. '[Y/N]-'

'You want to ask about my kefta,' you guess and hand him one of the papers on the table. 'Here is the design for it for other Grisha. And here… for uniforms of the army.'

You hand him another paper. Lantsov studies it, utterly fascinated.

'Amazing,' he murmurs. 'And what exactly does it repel?'

'Anything sharp that it's thrown at it,' you answer, shrugging. The King looks at you.

'Tell me more,' he urges you. You chuckle and shake your head.

'You do not want me to start talking about my projects,' you say. 'I can talk about it for hours. Just ask this one here.'

You point with your head at Aleksander. But he smiles.

'I'm afraid I'm a bad example, as I enjoy listening to you talking about things that are passionate for you,' he says. You blush again.

'And I really want to know how it works, it sounds fascinating,' Nikolai insists and looks at Kirigan. 'But first… would you mind checking on Grisha training? Zoya said she'd like to hear your thoughts about how they're doing.'

'Really?' the Darkling asks, raising his eyebrows.

'Well, not exactly, but I know that's what she meant,' Lantsov admits.

'Very well,' Aleksander agrees and walks to you. He presses a kiss to the top of your head and looks at your face, humming.

'What?' you ask, too late realising you're walking into a trap.

'You have lips,' he says, confusing you. 'And I have lips. Interesting…'

'Indeed,' you agree, not able to stop a smile forming on your face. 'We should test if they're compatible later.'

'Later,' Kirigan agrees, grinning, and walks away. You risk a look at the King, red as a tomato. But he's smiling.

'So, the kefta?' he asks, saving you from your embarrassment. 'What if Tamar throws her axe at it?'

While you're explaining your design to Nikolai, the Darkling hurries to the training ground with a spring in his step. Until he senses a familiar presence. He stops with a sigh. He waits a beat.

'Come out,' he says. 'I know you're here… mother.'

Baghra comes out of the shadows. She stares at her son grimly.

'What is your goal in all of this?' she demands. Aleksander scoffs and spreads his arms.

'I've missed you as well, mother,' he replies sarcastically. 'I've been well, thank you for asking. Well, besides the time I was dead.'

'You and only you are responsible for your death,' the old woman says, walking closer to him.

'I'm well aware,' Kirigan says. 'But I'm here now.'

'Yes,' Baghra says. 'What for?'

'Everything I want, I told to the King already. I don't have to explain myself to you.'

'Oh, but he can't see so clearly through your lies as I can. So? What are you really after? And what else do you want from that poor girl?'

'She is what I want. Nothing else matters but her. Now, excuse me. But our king has given me an assignment.'

He turns and attempts to walk away. But his mother grasps his wrist tightly. He tenses. Just like he was a child. But he isn't one anymore. He turns to her with a glare. She answers with one of her own.

'What is it in her that doesn't allow you to let her finally go?' she asks. He scoffs. He leans down, looming over Baghra.

'She's a mess of gorgeous chaos,' he says quietly, 'and you can see it in her eyes. She is… everything I've always wanted. And I warn you, mother… try to take her away from me… and I will feel no remorse in getting rid of you.'

'Do you really expect me to believe that you'll just let go of centuries of plotting for one girl?' the old woman scoffs. The glare she receives almost makes her shiver.

'After everything she's been through for me?' he asks. 'Yes.'

'What do you know what that girl has been through?' Baghra asks, getting back her confidence. But once again, the look in her son's eyes makes her freeze.

'I know they've informed you about… visions of me… that [Y/N] had,' he says slowly after a moment and she nods, confirming it. 'My nichevoy'a connected us. I was dead, yes. But thanks to a part of me being alive in Nikolai Lantsov, I was still here in a way. All the time I was by [Y/N]'s side. Yes, she could only see me at nights and not always. Because if I were to show myself to her every time that she fell asleep, I think it would have broken us both. But I was there. I watched her, sitting in that cell. I watched her losing herself. I watched her spirit slowly dying. I watched her being completely alone, scared and just barely alive.'

With every sentence he raises his voice and it becomes more passionate. Baghra's eyes go wide. She takes a step back against her own will. Aleksander pulls back, regaining his composure.

'So, don't question me what do I know about her sacrifices,' he says. 'Because I saw it. Every moment alone. Every moment she lied and manipulated, just so she could bring me back. I'm well aware of it all. I know that I don't deserve her. But I will gladly create another Fold if someone will try to take her from me. No matter who they'll be. And yes. If she doesn't want to rule by my side, if she just wants to have a peaceful life together with people she cares about, then damn it all, I'll give it to her. Because I'll choose her happiness over mine every time. And what's more, I know that with her by my side, it will be mine happiness as well.'

His mother stares at him, stunned. He challenges her with his gaze for a moment. When she doesn't say anything, he turns and walks away abruptly without a goodbye. She stares after him until he disappears behind a corner. Then… she smiles slightly.

'Maybe there's still hope for you,' she says softly, 'you stupid boy.'

*

Genya basically runs through the corridors of the Little Palace the moment she hears Tolya is back. She throws the door outside open and almost jumps down the stairs, then throws her arms around her dear friend.

'Genya!' Alina laughs, hugging her back. 'Oh, how I've missed you!'

'And I you, in case you haven't notice,' Safin says. Alina laughs again and the girls pull away from each other. They look at one another, noticing all the changes.

'How are… things?' Starkov asks hesitantly. Genya's good mood immediately dampens.

'They're… good,' she answers. 'At least for now. Hello, Mal.'

'Genya,' Oretsev greets her, nodding politely. Genya exhales slowly.

'Do you want to unpack first or do you want to get over it?' she asks. 'I know Nikolai is anxious to see you both, but you must be tired, so I'm sure he'll understand if you want to rest.'

'I'm afraid I won't be able to relax until I… see him,' Alina sighs. Safin nods in understanding and heads toward the Grand Palace.

'They have a meeting now,' she explains. 'Nikolai was informed you're getting closer and he thought it would be better if he was present during your meeting.'

'I think it's for the best,' Starkov agrees. 'If we're really supposed to work together, it wouldn't be good if we tore each other's throat right away.'

'Quite so,' Genya confirms. Two women chat with each other, excited to hear what the other has to say. Inside the Grand Palace, they meet Nikolai on their way to his chambers.

'Thought I heard your beautiful voice,' he says with a dazzling smile. 'Don't worry, he's still in my chambers. We're having a break. Wonderful to see you.'

'And you,' Alina says, hugging Lantsov tightly. 'You look well.'

'Thank you,' the King chuckles and pulls away. 'I definitely feel better than for the past months. Our dear Mal didn't want to start from meeting with him?'

'No, he's right-' Alina starts with a frown, turning. Her heart stops when she doesn't see her husband. She looks with panic at Genya.

'He was right behind us,' she says. But Safin gives her a troubled look. Because honestly, she can't be certain if Mal has followed them at all.

In the meantime, you finish the last batch of the antidote for today. You put it away and wipe the sweat from your forehead. You sense someone looking at you, so you look up. You freeze, seeing no other than Mal Oretsev.

'Here I am,' he says, spreading his arms. You raise your eyebrows.

'I can see that,' you say and clean your station, not giving him attention. He frowns and walks to you.

'I know you're the one that demanded Alina's presence here,' he says. 'And I understand why. You want revenge for her killing Kirigan. But if you want to kill someone, let it be me. I was supposed to die that day anyway.'

'Who says I want to kill anyone?' you ask, looking at him. He stares at you, surprised. You scoff and walk around the table. You face him and cross your arms.

'I wanted Alina here, because I know we're going to need her in the coming battle… or battles,' you say and shrug. 'True, maybe I want to take revenge on her. But I don't want anyone to die.'

'Then how are you going to take it?' Oretsev asks. 'Revenge, I mean. What are you going to do?'

'That's the most beautiful part,' you say and smirk. 'I don't have to do anything.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' Mal asks, frowning. You touch his chest and then poke it.

'She's already doing it for me,' you say. 'I knew it the moment you walked in her and asked me to kill you. You're missing it, don't you? Being the amplifier?'

Oretsev tenses. Oh, you've hit a nerve.

'You have nothing now,' you say quietly. 'Nothing but her. But it's not enough, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself. Your tracker's abilities were your greatest joy and source of pride. And she took it away. She took it away and didn't even allow you to leave, to finally get peace. What's more, to bring you back, she did exactly the thing she said she wouldn't. She used merzost.'

Mal takes a step back. He looks at you sharply, with a hint of surprise. You chuckle.

'Oh, yes, I know how she did that,' you confirm. 'I sensed it that day. And I wanted to tear her apart. For condemning Aleksander for his use of merzost and then doing the exact same thing. The difference? He wanted an army to fight with the king, so Grisha could finally be safe. And she did it so she didn't have to sacrifice anything. But there's always a price. And I'm gladly going to watch her pay hers.'

You stare at each other grimly for a moment. Then, you walk past him and head to the door. But before you can reach it, you hear hurried footsteps and a moment later Alina shows up in the threshold, panting. She glares at you and brings her hands together.

'Don't you dare hurt him,' she growls. You snort.

'I have no intention of hurting either of you,' you say, surprising Starkov. You walk slowly to her. You eye each other.

'Don't you want to take revenge of me for killing him?' Alina spats.

'Like I've just told your dear husband… congratulations by the way… of course, I want you to suffer for what you've put me through,' you answer and lean to her ear. 'But I don't have to do a thing to get what I want. You're already doing it for me.'

The Sun Summoner pulls away sharply. She looks at you with confusion, warily.

'And what am I doing?' she snarls.

'You're living,' you answer, stunning her even more. 'You're living and time doesn't touch you. Contrary to him. He's mortal. And you're not. One day you're going to lose him and you'll see exactly what I felt. Loneliness. Pain.'

'It will still take years,' Alina says angrily. 'Until then I may die very well myself. And you won't see me suffering from losing Mal.'

'True,' you agree, shrugging. 'But until then I'm going to satisfy myself with what's happening to your soul.'

'I beg your pardon?' Starkov asks harshly. Just then Nikolai and Genya finally catch up, both of them panting. They both freeze when they see yours and Alina's stand down.

'A few years ago, you'd have begged me not to touch him,' you say. 'And now? Now your first response, even though I was steps ahead of him, was to threaten me. Does that remind you of anyone?'

The Sun Summoner stiffens. You grin at her.

'I'm really going to enjoy watching you fall into his footsteps, while he finally gets the happiness he's longed for,' you say and wink. 'It was good to see you, Alina, Mal. I can't wait to work with you.'

You walk toward the door, leaving stunned Starkov behind you. Lantsov and Safin let you pass, watching you silently. No one says a word, until they no longer hear your footsteps.

'She's changed,' the Sun Summoner says quietly.

'Well, she's spent two and a half years in a cell,' the King sighs.

'Besides… who of us can tell we've actually known her before?' Genya sighs. Mal joins his wife and grabs her hand.

'Well, at least I think she was telling the truth about not wanting to kill us,' he says. Alina turns on him quickly.

'What were you thinking coming here on your own?' she scoffs. He cups her cheek.

'That I don't want you to die,' he answers simply. She stares at him for a moment. Then, she sighs and leans her forehead on his.

'I guess we should see him now?' she asks quietly. He nods. They join hands again and follow Nikolai and Genya. They expect to find Kirigan in Lantsov's chambers, but they find him outside the Little Palace, surrounded by little Grisha. They're hurling a question after question at him, and he tries to answer them all, laughing. Not far away you stand, smiling softly.

'Miss Starkov,' Aleksander says when he notices you. Children Grisha quickly fall silent, then scatter away. Alina separates from the group and faces the Darkling, her fists clenched. It's so weird seeing his face again, hearing his voice. She wasn't aware he still has such a hold on her.

'I'm truly glad to see you well,' he says and glances behind her. 'And my cousin as well. I'd apologise for everything but I know you won't believe I'm sincere.'

'No, I won't,' the Sun Summoner confirms harshly. Kirigan smiles wryly. He extends his hand to her.

'Can I at least hope we can put our differences aside and work together for the good of Ravka and all that we hold dear?' he asks. Alina eyes his hand for a moment, before she finally shakes it.

'For all that we care about,' she agrees. He smiles at her and she shivers. He lets go of her hand. Nikolai joins them and claps their shoulders.

'Now that we have this over with,' he says, 'I need you back, Kirigan, for our meeting.'

'Of course,' Aleksander says, his voice smooth. Lantsov looks at the Sun Summoner.

'You and Mal take all the time you need to rest,' he says. Alina nods. She watches the King and his peace advisor walking away, already immersed in a conversation. She turns her gaze away and it falls on you.

'See you tomorrow,' you say, noticing her look, and walk away. Genya and Mal join Alina.

'It's going to be hard, isn't it?' Oretsev asks. 'Working with them?'

'For now, it hasn't been bad,' Genya answers. 'But neither of us killed Kirigan, so…'

'Let's just hope they will keep their word,' the Sun Summoner says grimly. 'But if they try anything… I will kill them both this time.'

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could. Every comment makes my day!

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52696933/chapters/135403246

#aleksander kirigan #aleksander morovoza #the darkling #general kirigan #reader #aleksander kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander kirigan/reader #aleksander morozova/reader #the darkling/reader #general kirigan/reader #aleksander kirigan & reader #aleksander morozova & reader #the darkling & reader #general kirigan & reader #aleksander kirigan x you #aleksander morozova x you #the darkling x you #general kirigan x you #aleksander kirigan/you #aleksander morozova/you #the darkling/you #general kirigan/you #aleksander kirigan & you #aleksander morozova & you #the darkling & you #general kirigan & you #shadow and bone

[preferablyketterdam]

*Rule of Wolves spoilers*

I don't know if it's just me, but I've never been in more absolute (genuinely involuntary) denial than in the months after reading for the first time that David Kostyk dies.

Even writing this I still can't fathom it, so I've decided that David is just still alive. For a while I tried to make myself believe that David was dead but I've accepted now that that's something I physically can't do. I've never read the funeral scene and never plan to.

I was having a conversation with a family member about this and they said, "of all the characters to die, I don't mind it being David. Not that I think he's a bad character, but I don't mind him dying as much as I minded Matthias."

(I have strong opinions about Matthias' death too, but that's for another post).

Well, I don't agree. David is a unique character that is unlike any I've seen before in fantasy stories. He's a real genius, he's not just "the guy in the chair," and when he found love, he invented a way to make it work in a way he understood. He's a genuine workaholic, it's his personality, and yet he still makes time to note down compliments to give his wife because he never, ever forgets her, even when he's forgotten to sleep because of some project or other. I could go on and on about just how perfect Genya and David are for each other.

So anyway, in my mind, David Kostyk is alive and well and hunched over a pile of blueprints in his workshop at Lazlayon, or reading on a couch in the Little Palace with Genya's head in his lap (possibly stroking her hair), or having intense conversations with Nikolai over some new invention or other.

Don't bother to convince me otherwise.

#david kostyk #grishaverse #genya safin #genya kostyk #genya x david #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #leigh bargudo #king of scars #rule of wolves

[svyatoiy]

⊰ CONTINUED FROM HERE, @listmny.

❛ MUD BATHS AND LUXURY CUISINE ─ WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT FROM A STINT IN THE ARMY? ❜ to be able to ruminate on what now feels like their past lives with humor and mirth, when its reality looked much like breakfasts composed of stale bread, dinner-less evenings, frostbitten toes in the winter & her life wasting away before her eyes, was a compliment to the steady passing of time and the healing factor of his presence. though the sun bends to her will alone, nikolai has his own set of unique abilities ─ thawing the permafrost left in her chest by the war & its losses is only one of many.

beyond the ship’s railing and across the glimmering waves the sun tickles the surface of the ocean, painting a strip of orange between the blue of the sea and the sky. as if eager to keep the sun for a little longer, the wind picks up, and if not for the steady thrum of warm light in her veins alina might have shivered. instead she only knocks her shoulder against nik’s, a smile stretching lazily across her lips as she basks in the final moments of sunlight. ❛ you know, i’d wager there is nothing you would not be able to find some semblance of flattery in. it’s a most impressive talent of yours. ❜ when she speaks again, alina’s teasing words are muttered so quietly none but nikolai would be capable of discerning them from the sound of the waves crashing against the hull. her gaze glitters like the waves below them, though the sunlight that reflects off the sea is replaced by a childlike mirth in the depths of her eyes.  ❛ i can see it now! nikolai lantsov himself giving the sun summoner swimming lessons in the lake at lazlayon would make quite a sight, i’m sure. ❜

#listmny #moving to a new post for beta's sake! #❴ ❊⋄˚ ˒ — 𝔳. ⊰ between the ecstasy of sunflowers & the lips of an invisible demise‚ i dangle. #only these two can go from depressive emo talks to discussing swimming lessons in the blink of an eye and not give me whiplash!

[zmeydeva-arch]

          ˖ °.       PROMPTS THAT MAKE ME GO 👀    ⥽   (  ACCEPTING  !

       HOURS TO WEEKS SPENT POURING OVER STRATEGY.  the commander was tasked with the safety and repairs of os alta as the king attended nolniki at lazlayon.   all eyes affixed,  and ears attuned that that of the general nazyalenskaya.   this burden was a requisite to the status she occupied though it made it no less difficult to bow under duress.   a triad of raised voices,   there are figures moving across the lengths of the map.   replicas of war machines and military garrisons are peppered throughout the parchment landscape.   as they construct the craft of battle the delicate dance of politicking rears its wicked head.   genya is at the witch's side voicing concern in regards to a fraying marriage proposal and their dwindling influence over the shu princess.   she is sat at the head of the dark oak table, a position once reserved for the shadow,  the darkness which still plagued their lands.  pensky of the first army at her right and the tailor pressed close at her left. 

        a hand raises to quell the chorus of grievances and the other is held against her brow,  an attempt to stave off an impending migraine.   ❛   that is enough for today.  the council is dismissed,   i will take what you all have suggested into consideration.  ❜   wooden legs scrape against the stone as the assembly begins to diverge and she rises as well but does not move towards the door with the rest of her constituents.   instead,  her fingertips follow the troubled borders of her fragmented country.   with the room expediently emptying the stagnant presence of @daylighter​​ proves difficult to ignore.   in her stubbornness,   or perhaps fatigue she avoids locking gazes with the fringing sun.   there is heat behind this observance,   a demand for acknowledgement   ━    for recognition.   I AM THE IMPETUOUS TEMPEST OF A GIRL,   IF I VOICE MY AILMENTS THEY WILL OVERCOME ME.   when she begins her exit it is a swift turn on heel not allowing a single opening in her exterior to present itself to the daylighter. 

        the length of the chamber is no obstacle to proliferation through illumination,  an outpouring of effulgence at her back and then the fetter of heat encircled her wrist.  a touch so scorching it could be mistaken for a branding.  ❛   there is work to be done.  ❜  bone-weariness is present even in the tantrum of her cadence.   ❛   i do not want to talk about last night.   i will find a way to control it.    ❜   campaign already lost at the naming of frailty,   the lack of constitution she had displayed as she grew wild and set herself free from her bones.   so much of her solemnity could be attributed to the serpent,  the tether of contact quelling the rising storm and yet she refuses this for sedation now.   ❛  our agreement does not include…   personal matters.   ❜    she continues her stride in an attempt to dislodge herself from his grip but to no avail,  the clasp only stiffens further  (  the impenetrable marble of you,  i loathe it   )   finally,   she defies to face him.   liquid mercury eyes wide and rimmed with deep sunken circles.    ❛   let go,   kenneth.   ❜

#ken this bisexual wrist grab is getting out of hand bestie #𝖎𝖎𝖎. *ੈ ˖ ° ⥽ trust your anger / it is a demand for love ⥼ ⅋. v — row #𝖛𝖎. *ੈ ˖ ° ⥽ i move towards myself & towards ruins / the hush of catastrophe overtakes me ⥼ ⅋. asks #daylighter

[pritvolny]

nothing comes without a consequence or cost . / from David

𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙸𝙲 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙾𝚄𝙻.      ft.  david kostyk.     (  accepting.  )

the lazlayon had been functioning for only a week now:  the whirring of engines still loud and disruptive,   the nolniki scuttling around in attempts to make space for their inventions.    the walls had been painted a dark shade of black to contrast  the pleasure palace  it boasted on the outside,   individual workstations assigned for every class of grisha,   and david's hesitation to step towards his made nikolai  frown.    it shouldn't have surprised him,  but it did anyway,   for the king had been looking forward to share this excitement with the other.    a few moments passed in silence and they stood beside each other,   david examining the interiors like a deer inspecting the woods with  a wary eye  before it decides to drink from the lake,   and nikolai watched him carefully.

' nothing comes without a consequence or cost. '    and there it was,   at last.    the suspense and confusion shattering at once,   causing the line etched between his brows to dissipate.    ❛   you're right,  this is not a gift.   ❜    it was said with the stern authority of a monarch,   but he was hardly that anymore:   standing upright with the support of his triumvirate.    so he extended a hand,  gingerly settling on david's shoulder from behind to turn him around.    ❛   we are at war and we need you.   ravka needs you.   ❜    there was sincerity in his voice,   clear as glass.    ❛   but if you don't wish to be a part of this,  I shan't force you.   ❜

#khronoes #i. ( answered. ) khronoes. #i. ( khronoes. ) david kostyk. #v. they're calling him korol rezni— king of scars. #knocks on your door. breaks it down violently #i remember nothing of canon. making shit up as we go

[kcrclrezni]

@pistolslinger​ (my beloved) said:  

 "you know what you need in the palace? more secret tunnels,"  jesper is sure there's more than enough tunnels and hidden rooms in the palace to stump an explorer for many, many years.  but still.  "you know. in case you're being chase by a rabid admirer of yours, and need to escape very quickly."

“More secret tunnels?” Nikolai stands with his hands in his pockets, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. “I do happen to know the esteemed architect of Lazlayon and Saints know the amount of tunnels they put into that place for Count Kirigan and his shenanigans. Perhaps I should commission them to start digging?” He cocks his head to the side and studies Jesper, his grin only growing. “Is that why you’re here?” 

#pistolslinger #hehe secret admirer hehe

[kolarpem]

Morning Doodle: "The dense fog that shrouded the valley was frequently helped along by Grisha Squallers to provide cover from prying eyes and Fjerdan air surveillance. The ballooning meadow was in fact an airfield; the elaborate gardens hid two long, straight runways for testing experimental aircraft; and the frequent fireworks Kirigin staged disguised the sound of rifle fire and shelling." Leigh Bardugo's King of Scars Ch 4

#king of scars #rule of wolves #nikolai duology #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky #zoyalai #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #dailysketch #Lazlayon #emil kirigin #count kirigin

[acourtofcouture]

An Insider’s Guide to the Grishaverse: Lazlayon, the Gilded Hallow, 2/?

#an insider's guide to the grishaverse #lazlayon #the gilded hallow #gilded hallow #the gilded bog #gilded bog #king of scars #rule of wolves #king of scars duology #shadow and bone #siege and storm #ruin and rising #shadow and bone trilogy #the grisha trilogy #six of crows #crooked kingdom #six of crows duology #the nolnik #king nikolai's nolniki #nolniki #nikolai lantsov #nikolai #king of ravka #ravka #ravkan #grishaverse #the grishaverse #grisha #grishas #the grisha triumvirate

[laurore-stormwitch]

fic count: 12 

mostly zoyalai because they have an iron grip on my heart  

1. (part one) we will fight for you

Summary: weeks of tension and stolen glances after the mess in the Fold lead to a fight between Nikolai and Zoya, lashing on each other for their repressed feelings and pent up frustration.

- second half of the first chapter (sorry for my mess)

Summary: Genya decides to take matters in her own hand and have a honest talk with Nikolai about his fight with Zoya. A moment of friendship, pride and strenght. 

2. (part two) the demon and the witch

Summary: after his talk with Genya, Nikolai comes to discover that Zoya took a ride out of the palace and got hurt. He rushes to her chamber and a confrontation ensues, the two of them not being able to hold themselves anymore. 

3. (part three) blissful mornings

Summary: Nikolai wakes up beside Zoya and reflects on the sheer beauty of their first morning together. Until someone interrupts and their friends don’t miss the chance to tease on them.

4. just one last night

Summary: based on the “holding hands in the quiet of his bedchamber” snippet. Zoya visits Nikolai and she lets another one of her carefully guarded secrets slips, as they dance around each other like always. Some angst. 

5. together now

Summary: Genya and Zoya are gettin ready together for a ball. A shared moment of sweet friendship, support and some teasing from Genya’s part. 

6. our first lifetime

Summary: short take on how Nikolai proposes to Zoya, after the war ends and they finally find peace. 

7. for other people, for other lives 

Summary: basically some plotless angst between Zoya and Nikolai, circling each other and keeping themselves from falling into making a mistake. Based on the snippet “sweet words and grand declarations were for other people, other lives”.

8. burning flames and raging fires 

Summary: the Fjerdan attack Lazlayon while Nikolai and the others are there. Zoya saves the day but gets hurt, and Nikolai loses it a bit. He then reflects on his feelings toward her in the doom of his impending marriage (planning to continue this one). 

9. you are my endless summer

Summary: the epilogue we deserved for Row and never got. This is the one I’m most proud of thus far, I poured all my heart into this. Nikolai courts Zoya, finally proposes and we get to see the end (or start) of their story. 

10. the blood in our veins

Summary: post Row. Zoya gets a letter that unsettles her. Nikolai holds her together, as he always does, and they both reflect on their families legacies and their still open wounds and hopes for the future. 

11. the times we made a choice

Summary: the time Zoya saves Nikolai in the Fold. The time Nikolai asks her to be his general. And the times when they had win their battles and they can tell each other of those times.

12. i’d give us time if i could 

Summary: Nikolai gives Zoya the dragon timepiece she wore in Rule of Wolves. And of course, we have pining and yearning and angst. 

13. we’ll make flowers bloom from ruins

Summary: set months after the ending of Rule of Wolves, as Zoya, newly crowned queen, and Nikolai, her advisor, try to steer the country into peace while learning what it means to be together. As they struggle with their new roles and relationship, a new threat arises in Os Kervo, and they face it with the help of the Dregs and Nikolai’s sister, Linnea. Lot of emotions, angst, fluff, and characters’ study into their new journey. (Published in full in ao3)

Snippets: (x), (x)

Art for the fic: (x), (x), (x), (x), (x), (x) 

#fic count #fan fiction #my writing #fan ficiton summary #zoyalai #zoya and nikolai #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #nikolai duology #Grishaverse fic #grishaverse #king of scars #rule of wolves #genya safin #tolya yul bataar #tamar kir bataar #they own my soul #and im not sorry

[sophierequests]

tolya yul-bataar

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Request

Angst: ☾ ┃ Fluff: ♡ ┃ Hurt/Comfort: ☆ ┃ Smut: ♤

"Why don't I ask Tolya to soothe you by reciting some poetry."

oneshots

underneath the surface (♡ / ☆) → Nikolai plans on going down into the hidden labs of Lazlayon, but Tolya reveals his fear of caves to the reader. How can they help him?

The man standing next to you only shot him a dissatisfied glance, chewing on the inside of his cheeks as his eyes darted over the stone in front of him. You didn’t quite know why he felt so uncomfortable with caves and underground exploration, but you were well aware that he did get unusually stressed whenever Nikolai would mention the possibility of being faced with the issue.

maybe i should try harder (♡ / ☆) → The reader doesn't feel like she belongs with the others so Tolya is there to comfort her.

However, exactly the one person that you assumed would never notice, grew the most concerned for you. Your sudden absence mixed with your change in behaviour was quite disconcerting to him, especially when he realized that none of the others seemed to know exactly what was going on with you.

i glow pink in the night (☆) → In fear of losing the other, Tolya and the reader decided to split before the war began. But what happens afterwards?

You couldn’t believe it at first. If Nadia hadn't told you the news with tears in her eyes and a victorious grin on her lips, effectively waking you up from your dazed state, you probably still wouldn’t be able to believe it. The Civil War was finally over.

tearing it all down (☾ / ☆) → Tolya tries to get along with the one person he hates, but now, other feelings threaten to come to the surface.

Tolya wouldn't say that he particularly hated, or even disliked, anyone. His faith had taught him that hatred was rarely ever justified, and merely the utterly blasphemous or cruel are deserving of his hostility. But you? You were certainly making him question that belief.

snowball fight (♡) → Snow shenanigans with Tolya.

Tolya truly had a love-hate relationship with winter. On one hand, he loved the snow, the festivities and spending time with his friends. On the other hand, the stinging cold of the snow and the harsh winds made him want to throw himself off the highest tower of the Grand Palace. 

you are foolish to want (☾ / ☆) → Tolya and the reader are on their way to the Lazlayon until unforeseen circumstances put a slight dent in their plans.

He couldn’t be sure how much longer the path ahead of you could possibly still drag on; all he knew was that he likely wouldn’t be able to stay awake for the entirety of it. The tension of riding next to you alone would have usually been enough to keep him from falling asleep. Hell, the thought of you alone did the job well enough already. Yet something about this time felt different. 

two-parters

on waters so inviting, i almost jump in pt. 1┃pt. 2 (☾ / ☆) → Tolya and the reader have been pining over the other since they met, but Tolya is too scared to get too close, since he and the reader are just seemingly too different.

“You know, normally I’d tell you to quit staring at them, but I don’t think I can blame you when they look this good.” Tamar appeared next to her brother without a warning, almost causing him to jump out of his skin. She looked awfully smug and he hated that he knew exactly what was going through her head.

headcanons

tolya yul-bataar x reader dating headcanons (♡)

tolya yul-bataar x chaotic!reader dating headcanons (♡)

#tolya yul bataar x reader #tolya x reader #tolya yul bataar #tolya #shadow and bone headcanon #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #netflix shadow and bone #shadow and bone #grishaverse headcanons #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse fanfic #grisha

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Steel That Went Through Hottest Fire: Chapter XVII - Moving Heaven and Earth

Chapter Summary: You fulfill your promise to Nikolai and complete an antidote to jurda parem in Lazlayon. But it gets an unwanted attention from your enemies. To protect you and the recipe, you head back to Os Alta. But someone is already waiting there for you.

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Nikolai Lantsov/Zoya Nazyalensky, Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky, Nikolai Lantsov, Yuri Vedenen, Fedyor Kaminsky, Ivan, Genya Safin, David Kostyk, Tolya Yul-Bataar, Isaak Andreyev, Tamar Kir-Bataar, the Apparat

Word Count: 3818

A/N: Inspired by prompt: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389090591501/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

@drinix

You're back in Lazlayon, where you work furiously on the antidote. Aleksander has, of course, insisted on coming with you. He'll not be parted from you ever again. Ever. There are, however, some conditions about his presence there.

While Nikolai has agreed to give Kirigan the position he wants, he and his friends have concluded it's better to keep him hidden and under observation. They want to prepare the people for his return first. The Darkling is not happy about it, but he concedes. For now. He knows, after all, they're going to need him sooner than they think. And hope.

One day, the first sample of the antidote is finally ready. All that you need is to test it on someone. Just then, Nina arrives in Lazlayon along with her companions and some women Grisha that are under the effect of jurda parem.

You go outside to tell Nikolai about what you think is a success. You were told he's there. You stop, seeing him talking to Nina and two other Grisha you don't know. There's also a Fjerdan with them for some reason. Not bound. So maybe an ally? You don't care about that at the moment. You care about a huddled group of women that look terrible.

'Are they under the effect of jurda parem?' you ask, letting others know about your presence. Nikolai, Nina and the three people look at you.

'Yes,' Nina confirms grimly. 'How's your work on the antidote going?'

Instead of answering her, you march toward the women. There was a time where you would hesitate. But you're another person now. So, you tap one woman. She looks at you with suspicion.

'Pardon me,' you say, reaching into a small box in your hand. 'Say "ah".'

'Huh?' she asks, confused. The moment her mouth opens, you quickly put your fingers in it. Her eyes go wide. You take your fingers out.

'Swallow, please,' you say. She doesn't want to, but has no choice. Her body suddenly starts shaking and she gasps.

'What did you do?!' Nina demands, rushing to the poor woman. You feel someone grabbing you and pulling you away.

'Helped her,' you answer calmly. A moment passes and something changes in the woman's appearance. No one can tell exactly what it is, but she looks healthier. She looks at you with surprise.

'I… I don't feel it,' she says, stunned. 'The need to… take it.'

'You should also lose your enhanced abilities,' you explain. 'But we should wait before testing it. Sorry for giving this to you in such a way.'

She shakes her head, understanding. You turn to Nikolai. He's stunned as well. He looks at you hopefully.

'We should keep her under observation to see if there are any side effects,' you tell him.

'You can make more in the meantime,' Nina suggests.

'If you get me jurda, then sure,' you say. 'And I'm going to need a lot of it. More of it goes into an antidote that into the drug.'

'It's going to be a problem, then,' Nikolai sighs. 'Since I made a deal with Kerch, that is going on a war with Novyi Zem, which has the most of it.'

'Just bring me some of it,' you say. 'It'll be enough.'

'You just said the opposite,' the Fjerdan, confused, says. You look at him curiously.

'And you are…?' you ask.

'Matthias Helvar,' the man introduces himself.

'He's with me,' Nina quickly says. You shrug and smile.

'Get me as much jurda as you can and I'll get us even more,' you say mysteriously and go back to your workshop.

A few days later a crate of raw jurda is brought to you. Your eyes light up at the sight. You quickly order to have it taken outside. There, Zoya and David watch as you take the seeds of jurda and plant it.

'It will take time before it will grow,' Nazyalensky points out. 'Anyway, I don't think it has proper conditions for it.'

'You forget about something,' you say and touch your neck. Your friends frown. You simply press your hands to the ground and concentrate. A moment later the plant grows rapidly until it's blooming. You tell someone to gather what you need and you plant the seeds. You repeat the process over and over again.

'That is… a bit terrifying,' David says, stunned. 'And she doesn't look tired at all.'

'But she will get us what we need,' Zoya says. 'Gather whoever is available. They will plant the seeds. So she could focus only on growing them.'

Kostyk quickly hurries away. Nazyalensky looks at you. You're lifting your hands off the ground, as you've just bloomed the next portion of flowers.

'Impressive,' your friend says. You smile at her. Your eyes land on the building.

'Where's Aleksander?' you ask.

'At the meeting with Nikolai,' Zoya answers. 'As always, these days. I have to admit, he has a point in some matters. And good ideas.'

'And when he'll be able to stop hiding?' you ask.

'As soon as we locate the Apparat,' Nazyalensky answers grimly. 'The rat can make a riot because of the Darkling's resurrection and us working with him.'

You hum and return to growing more jurda for the antidote. Zoya observes you for a moment longer. When David returns with others, she turns and walks inside the building to let Nikolai know about the process. When she does that, she can see Kirigan smiling with pride in his eyes. It annoys her. Because with every day she starts to see your point more. That they need both you and the Darkling to save Grisha and win the war. And she hates it.

*

Some time later, you're working on another portion of the antidote, when suddenly there's a loud explosion. Then you hear screams, shouts and sound of running. You look with confusion at David.

'That wasn't us,' you say. 'So… who blew something up? And more importantly, why they didn't invite us do help them?'

'Let's better check,' Kostyk says. Every Durast and Alkemi that are in workshops hurry up. The source of the commotion is outside, so you rush there. You stop on top of the stairs, stunned. You're under attack.

'What in the names of Saints?' David asks, stunned. You see a small army fighting with your Grisha. Khergud attacking from above.

'Shu-Han,' you say. 'How did they find this place?'

'It doesn't matter now,' Nikolai says, hurrying past you. 'For now, we need to stop them from getting inside.'

But then you see more of them showing up. The King curses.

'We don't have enough men,' David says, showing up. 'Most of our soldiers are in the Grand Palace or looking for Grisha affected by jurda parem. Because it was supposed to be a secret lab!'

'I know!' Lantsov scoffs. 'I have no idea how they found us.'

He looks at the battle, gnawing at his lip. His face becomes grim. He looks at you and you already know whatever he's about to say, he's not happy about it.

'We need Kirigan,' he declares, causing Kostyk to sharply inhale. 'Only he has enough power to stop it. Zoya is away. And maybe, if we're lucky, his sudden appearance will scare them enough.'

'Are you sure this is a good idea?' David asks nervously. 'People are not ready for it. We aren't ready.'

'We have no choice,' Nikolai says grimly and looks at you. 'Go and get him. Tell Tolya it's time to get out of the shadows.'

You nod once and sprint back inside. You suspect what you're to say to the Heartrender is some password. So Tolya would know that these are really the King orders and not you trying to deceive him. You applaud to their smartness and speed up.

In his chambers, Aleksander argues with Tolya. He wants to go outside and help. The Heartrender is against it, obviously.

'You can hear very well it doesn't sound like we're winning,' the Darkling growls, losing patience. 'We're losing. I can change that.'

'You know very well you can't show up yet,' Tolya says, irritated.

'If things continue going the way they are, there will be no people to show up to,' Kirigan barks.

'And why do you care about that so much?' Yul-Bataar asks, crossing his arms.

'Contrary to your belief, I care about Grisha,' Aleksander says, clenching his fists. 'Besides… why do you think they are here? At that time?'

Tolya frowns. Kirigan scoffs.

'We finally have an antidote to jurda parem,' he explains. 'We can finally deal with the innocent Grisha they and Fjerda sends at us that are under the influence of it.'

'They're here for it,' the Heartrender says, going pale.

'And for the person that knows how to create it,' the Darkling adds. Yul-Bataar stares at him.

'So, it's about the girl,' he says and scoffs. 'Not about Grisha, but the only person who wants to be by your side from their own free will.'

'Both reasons are why I want to get out of here,' Aleksander says through gritted teeth. 'We need-'

He's interrupted by a loud explosion. It must be close, because the ground shakes and they have to hold on to things so not to fall. They look at each other. Before Tolya can react, Kirigan bolts out of the room. The Heartrender scoffs and hurries after him.

They're forced to stop at some point because of rumbles on the ground. There's a hole in the wall and another one in the ceiling. But what causes the Darkling's heart to stop, is a hand sticking out of the rubbles. An arm in a purple kefta with grey and black embroidery.

'No…' Aleksander says, horrified, and throws himself at the rubbles. He quickly moves them away. He's not even aware Tolya is helping him. Nor that there are also more hands, as Ivan and Fedyor also have showed up after hearing the explosion.

'[Y/N],' Kirigan says, his voice shaking, as he finally can take your body out of the mess. There are scratches on your face and some bruises are also forming already. But you're breathing. You're alive. And suddenly, your eyes flutter open.

'[Y/N]?' the Darkling asks, anxious. You smile slightly at him. Your eyes find Yul-Bataar.

'Nikolai says… that it's time… to get out… of the shadows…' you whisper and lose consciousness. Tolya's shoulders slump.

'What does that mean?' Fedyor asks. Yul-Bataar looks at Kirigan.

'That it's time to show the world you're alive,' he explains.

'Good, because there's nothing that could stop me now,' Aleksander says, his voice low. 'Fedyor, take her to the Healers.'

'Yes, sir,' Kaminsky says, his face serious. Kirigan stands up slowly, the look in his eyes absolutely murderous.

'Don't worry, [Y/N],' he says. 'They will pay for this. All of them.'

*

Nikolai kills another enemy and looks around with a grim face. It's not looking good. But for some reason, the soldiers are not trying to kill every one they see, but they clearly are trying to get inside. For what, Lantsov has no idea. He managed to hear a fragment of a conversation between them. He only managed to hear something about 'finding the girl'. But what girl? Ehri? But she's in the Grand Palace. Alina? Zoya?

He gets his answer when everything is covered in the darkness out of the blue. He instantly looks at the entrance to the building. There stands Kirigan, the look of absolute fury on his face.

'Someone did something to [Y/N],' David guesses, showing up by Lantsov's side. 'Very bad move.'

These, who recognise the Darkling, stop fighting. There are looks of fear and surprise. And also, some of awe.

Kirigan sends his shadows to attack soldiers from Shu-Han. Everyone now know who he is. The King's soldiers quickly scatter. Ivan shows up by Nikolai's side and grabs his arm. He pulls him away.

'What are you-?' Lantsov starts. But he doesn't finish. He doesn't have to. Because he sees Aleksander bringing his hands together and forming the Cut. With an angry roar, he sends it at their enemies, cutting them in two parts. They don't even feel it.

Silence falls. Kirigan straightens up, breathing heavily. Others slowly turn to face him.

'The Darkling…'

'It's the Darkling…'

'He's here…'

'He's alive…'

To Nikolai's astonishment and horror, some Grisha fall on their knees, staring at the Shadow Summoner with stunned expressions. But what shocks Lantsov even more, is that Kirigan just glances at them and marches back into the building with Tolya at his heels.

'You know, I expected some grand speech at his first public appearance,' the King says after a beat.

'He has other things on his mind,' Ivan explains, finally releasing Nikolai.

'[Y/N]?' David asks with worry. The Heartrender clenches his jaw.

'They blew up a hole in a wall,' he explains. 'We found her in the rubbles.'

Lantsov curses and runs a hand through his hair. Kostyk rushes back inside, not waiting for anyone.

'She didn't look too bad,' Ivan says.

'Let's see how much she got hit, then,' the King says and glances at still stunned people. 'And after that we have to do some damage control.'

The Heartrender nods. They hurry after David. They reach an infirmary. To their relief, you're already sitting on a table with an amused expression on your face. You're surrounded by Fedyor, Aleksander, Tolya, David and Tamar.

'I'm telling you, I'm fine,' you say, exasperated, and notice two new guests. 'Ah, maybe you can talk some sense into them. You see I'm fine, right?'

'I'll have to ask a specialist to say that,' Nikolai says, reaching your group.

'She's fine,' a passing Healer says. 'She managed to protect herself from more serious hits.'

'See?' you ask with triumph.

'You still need rest, milaya,' Kirigan insists. Lantsov nods.

'I agree,' he concurs. 'We can't afford to lose you now, [Y/N]. Or drop dead from exhaustion.'

You huff and cross your arms. But you don't argue anymore. You allow Fedyor and Ivan fuss around you a bit.

The King catches the looks of the Darkling, David and Tolya one by one. They follow him out of the room.

'How is the mood outside?' the Heartrender asks.

'Hard to say,' Nikolai sighs. 'Everyone is mostly shocked. Some Grisha kneeled. But for now, no one has started a riot.'

'So… what now?' David asks hesitantly. Lantsov and Kirigan look at each other. Aleksander calmly puts his hands behind his back. The King thinks for a moment.

'We're coming back to Os Alta,' he finally decides. 'All of us. The rumours are about to spread anyway. We must control the narrative.'

'Are you sure the people are ready?' Tolya asks doubtfully.

'I don't think they'll ever be, to be honest,' Nikolai answers after a pause. 'We've been just putting away the inevitable in time.'

'What about the Apparat?' Aleksander asks. 'We still haven't found him.'

'He will show up the moment we arrive to the capital,' Lantsov answers. 'I'm sure of it.'

'And then?' David asks. 'What do we do?'

'We'll put Yuri to good use,' Kirigan suggests. 'Let them argue publicly.'

'I don't want another civil war,' the King protests.

'There won't be,' the Darkling says with a disturbing smile. 'Some people will side with the Apparat, but not enough to cause a riot.'

'How can you be so sure?' Tolya scoffs. The Shadow Summoner looks at him.

'Because I've just stopped an attack of Shu-Han,' he answers. 'For months there have been miracles that people believe were my doing.'

'But they weren't,' David reminds him.

'They don't need to know it,' Kirigan argues. 'And sometimes manipulation of the people is necessary if you want to keep this country save, Your Majesty. And since the three Saints are dead… no one will tell on us.'

'Let's say I agree,' Nikolai says glumly. 'What else?'

'Well, I've been resurrected, haven't I?' the Darkling asks, shrugging. 'It's both fascinating and terrifying for the people. And they all adore you. If they see you with me, assuring them we've made peace for the good of Ravka, they will calm down. Ah. There's also one more thing.'

'The antidote,' Lantsov immediately guesses. 'Yes. We have to make it known we can make it.'

'They will come to steal it,' David points out. 'Or destroy it.'

'They've already did,' Tolya sighs. 'At least that's what we suspect with Kirigan.'

'I've heard Shu-Han soldiers talking about "finding the girl",' the King says, understanding. 'They were talking about [Y/N].'

'Somehow they've found out she's the one who created it,' David says, going pale.

'Which makes her and you our most valuable assets,' Nikolai says, looking at Aleksander. 'They will expect you two to travel together. Which is why you have to arrive in Os Alta separately. You can handle yourself and she'll have the best protection. I swear.'

'She can handle herself, too,' the Darkling says calmly. 'Unless a wall falls on her, that is. So, send Ivan with her. He's very protective of her. More than of me.'

Lantsov nods, agreeing to this. He smiles wryly at his companions.

'Shall we then?' he asks. 'Better to arrive before the Apparat. I'd like to keep the crown for a while longer.'

*

The journey to Os Alta is not boring only thanks to Ivan. He keeps you entertained thanks to telling you all about his life with Fedyor during the last three years. You're glad to hear they've been happy. They also plan to get married. They waited with that for you and Aleksander, which makes your heart melt.

'Everything alright in there?' Isaak, who's been assigned to you as well and is riding on a horse next to you, asks as you get close to the capital.

'We can't wait to get out of this coach, but other than that we're good,' you answer. 'Do you have any messages about others?'

'Just that they were attacked on the way but easily subdued the attackers,' the soldier answers and chuckles. 'Apparently, they were surprised not to find you with the Darkling.'

'Who would have thought that Lantsov was right about that,' Ivan murmurs.

'He's not an idiot, contrary to your belief,' you say, rolling your eyes. 'And yes, that plan was brilliant. I trust everyone got out of it alright?'

'No serious injuries nor worse,' Isaak confirms. You exhale with relief.

'Good,' you say. 'Now the worst part. Convincing people we mean no harm.'

'Luckily, the party is to start without us,' Ivan comments. 'Maybe they will finish without us as well?'

'I doubt that,' you chuckle. 'Thank you, Isaak.'

'Milady,' the soldier says, nodding his head respectfully to you and disappears from your view. Ivan looks at you curiously.

'I saved his life, remember?' you ask. The Heartrender nods, understanding now.

Some time later you arrive in Os Alta. People are on the streets. The mood varies. You see shocked faces. Stunned. Angry. Overjoyed. People are praying. Crying. But no one is shouting.

'It's quiet,' you murmur. Ivan nods, noticing it as well. You quickly find out the reason. In front of the Grand Palace two groups are facing each other. Followers of the Apparat and followers of Yuri. In the middle of them are Nikolai, Aleksander and others. Lantsov doesn't look happy. Kirigan is calm and collected as always.

'Looks like they got here in time,' Ivan says. 'Do you think we'll make it worse?'

You don't answer him. You listen to the argument with a sour mood, as you pass the people. All eyes are on you and Ivan, as you step out of the coach.

'And here's a creator of the miracle!' Yuri cries, causing you to wince. '[Y/N] [L/N], the most powerful Durast, has brought the Starless Saint back to us!'

People murmur, astonished. Some also angry. You ignore them and join your friends.

'How we're doing?' you murmur.

'It varies from moment to moment,' Genya sighs. 'I'm not convinced about this plan of yours.'

'It will be fine,' Nikolai assures her, forcing a smile. It drops, the moment the Apparat points an accusatory finger at you.

'I've warned you, Your Majesty!' he shouts. 'I told you releasing her will do Ravka no good! She broke the rules of life and brought the enemy of Ravka back among us!'

'I wasn't thrilled about it at first either,' Lantsov says loudly. 'But after calm conversations we came to an agreement. We need them both to make Ravka safe and secure.'

'They've corrupted you!' Apparat cries. 'You no longer deserve to be our leader! You've been seduced by power and that Durast girl!'

'I beg your pardon?' you ask, astonished. 'I did what now?'

People murmur. You can see that some agree. You must do something and fast.

However, you're not the one who does that something. One of the followers of the Apparat pulls out a knife. People scream and pull away.

'Die, witch!' he shouts and throws it at you. No one has time to react. It lodges itself in your chest. People scream and gasp. You look at the knife and then at the monk.

'Do you need this back or…?' you ask. Silence falls. Everyone stares at you in shock.

'You're asking if you can keep the knife in your rib cage?' Nikolai asks slowly.

'Yes, it's very… homey,' you confirm.

'It's a fucking knife!' Zoya scoffs. You pull out the knife easily, causing people to gasp, and show it to her.

'Look how pretty it is!' you say.

'Sankta!' someone cries. You look at the crows, surprised.

'Sorry?' you ask. People look at you with awe.

'She resurrected the Darkling and now didn't die herself,' someone says. 'A true Sankta.'

'Now hold on just a minute,' you say, panicked. But people look at you tears in their eyes. They fall on their knees, saying:

'Sankta. Sankta [Y/N].'

'No, I'm not!' you protest. 'It's… It's just my kefta-'

'Don't, lapushka,' Aleksander says, grabbing your arm. 'Let them believe it. Look at them. And now look at the Apparat.'

You do as he says. You see how people look at you with joy. And Apparat is nervous. It's clear he's lost today.

'I know you don't like it, [Y/N],' Nikolai says quietly. 'But for now, let them believe you're their Saint.'

You stare at him with horror. But when you look at the people again, you know he's right. They're ready to defend you from the Apparat. As longs as you're on the King's side, they will support him. And the Darkling as well.

'Fine, but under one condition,' you say.

'Name it,' Lantsov agrees quickly. But when you turn to him, he regrets his decision. There's that unnerving look in your eyes again. And his blood runs cold, when you say:

'Bring me Alina Starkov.'

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could. Every comment makes my day!

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52696933/chapters/135301627

#aleksander kirigan #aleksander morovoza #the darkling #general kirigan #reader #aleksander kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander kirigan/reader #aleksander morozova/reader #the darkling/reader #general kirigan/reader #aleksander kirigan & reader #aleksander morozova & reader #the darkling & reader #general kirigan & reader #aleksander kirigan x you #aleksander morozova x you #the darkling x you #general kirigan x you #aleksander kirigan/you #aleksander morozova/you #the darkling/you #general kirigan/you #aleksander kirigan & you #aleksander morozova & you #the darkling & you #general kirigan & you #shadow and bone

[kirsbataar]

wait i’m dumb and can’t find your rule of wolves theory… what is it? thank you !!

ive got several and im not sure which you’re referring to so:

- nikolai dies.

- mayu is killed by her brother, who was put in the khergud program even after she volunteered to sacrifice herself to prevent that.

- somebody takes parem. i could maybe see it being hanne bc they need her power, and nina knows she can coach her through the recovery ? could also see it being david because they need the knowledge for war weapons or something similar.

- brum figures out that “mila” is grisha. i could see him promising to spare her life if she aids them in the war effort . . . or maybe even if she kills nikolai for them.

- there is a massacre at lazlayon ( the underground lab ) where characters die. tolya, nadia, and david are all potentials here.

- the darkling sacrifices himself in an attempt to be a hero. think like shadow weaver in she-ra, where it’s a villain sacrificing themselves because they think doing it will redeem them. so ultimately it’s not a real redemption arc because it was selfish.

#grishaverse #rule of wolves #nikolai lantsov #mayu kir kaat #nina zenik #hanne brum #david kostyk #jarl brum #tolya yul bataar #nadia zhabin #the darkling

[nazyalenskyism]

The Love of My Life When... (Part 6)

Ao3: The Love of My Life When...

Summary: Part 4 of The Love of My Life When... a Zoyalai fic.| Zoya gets a call from the last person she wants to be talking to. A/N: It's been a while since the last update and I'm sorry about that. I actually forgot that I had Part 6 ready, formatted and sitting in my drafts, so here you go! I also forgot how much I enjoyed writing this story and I hope that you enjoy reading this part ❤️. 

        Sometimes I go blurry-eyed

        Small talk and you tell me that you're on fire

        Lights on and it's black and white, I couldn't stay forever

        “What?” Zoya hissed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Who was calling her at, she glanced at the clock, 3 A.M.? 

        “You’ve forgotten me already?”

        “Nikolai?” She was so incredulous that she forgot to call him by anything other than his name, bolting upright in bed.

        “Zoyaaa!”

        She blinked, “are you drunk?” 

        “No. Maybe… a little?” Zoya shook her head, how was this her problem? She reached to end the call when she was stopped by a sudden rush of words.

        “Pleasedon’thangup.” She hesitated, she had been about to end the call, but, even if Nikolai had only been a little drunk, he would’ve never asked her to stay on the line, which meant he must be completely wasted. To her knowledge, he’d never gotten this drunk, and she was a little worried.

        “Why did you call me, Nikolai?” Zoya asked wearily.

        “Tolya’s coming to get me and he saidtotalk to someone until he gets hereeee.” 

        She considered this, if Tolya thought Nikolai should stay on the line with someone that must mean that Nikolai was too out of it to be left unattended. 

        “Okay Nikolai, what are you doing right now?” She waited for nearly a minute before she heard Nikolai’s voice, more sober sounding than it had been before.

        “I’m waiting for Tolya at Lazlayon.”

        She groaned before she could stop herself, “not Kirigin’s? Bad call Lantsov.”

        He let out a chuckle, “I designed the bar, I was his first investor and I get free drinks… I think it’s ergonomical to go.”

        “Economical?” She felt a smile tug at her lips, despite herself. 

        “Aye, there’s the rub!”

        “Drunk quoting Hamlet now, are we?” 

        “How well you know me, Zoya dea--”  he cut himself off abruptly but she caught what he’d almost said, Zoya dearest. He doesn’t mean anything by it, he’s drunk and it just slipped out, it’s just an old habit. But it being instinctual didn’t stop her breath from catching. It hadn’t been that long, but she hadn’t realized the warmth that his casual terms of endearment had brought her. A cool wave of shame followed the heat today, she couldn’t let herself be affected by him. It’s over Zoya reminded herself… but if it was over then why didn’t her body respond in the same way as her mind?

        She heard a sharp inhale before Nikolai broke the silence. “Why did you leave? Zoya… every time I try to understand it, I can’t. We were happy weren’t we?” he huffed out a breath, “from the minute I wake up to the minute I fall asleep, it’s like you haunt me. Even when I close my eyes, you’re still there. You give me that look, the ‘Nikolai, shut up, you idiot’ look, and it burns as much as it always did. One look from you, even the memory of you and I’m on fire,” a humorless laugh choked out, “why did you leave?” he repeated.

        “I—I told you from the start, I couldn’t stay forever.”  

        “Why Zoya?” he said quietly, “Because I wasn’t worth forever? Because we weren’t?”

          She felt the walls close in, he was repeating what he’d said to her on the night they’d broken up, sounding just as broken as he had when she’d closed the door on them. “Nothing lasts forever Nikolai, I was just facing the music before it got to us first.”

        “That’s not an answer,” a rustle on the line told her he was running his hand through his hair in frustration. She slammed her eyes shut, trying to combat the endearment that always flared up when he did that. Was she really this weak, brought to her knees by an attachment that she severed weeks ago? Or was it just a side effect of being sleep deprived and on the phone with her ex at 3 AM? She shook her head, she couldn’t do this anymore.

        “What do you want me to say? I broke up with you because I don’t-- I didn’t love you.” She refused to wince at her words. She refused to wince at his sharp intake of breath, at the silence that followed. He had never told her that he loved her, he had known her issue with the words, and so even if he’d felt that way, he’d spared her from the need to reciprocate. She knew that he had loved her, or at least thought that he did… but had he truly expected her to love him? She had told him from the start that she wasn’t capable of loving, not like that. And he’d accepted it with open arms, just like the parts of herself everyone else turned away. All it told her now, however, was that he was more a fool than she’d originally thought, letting his heart fall into her unintentional clutch. Zoya couldn’t give it back, even though she wanted to. It was his and he needed to let her go.

        “Tolya’s here. I should go.” The flatness of his voice was punctuated by the abrupt ending of the call, and Zoya sat there, her phone still clutched against her face, eyes  burning, as she stared blankly at the wall. She hadn’t been in love, but if that was true then why did she feel like she was falling apart? Zoya heaved one breath, and then two, repeating to herself that she was okay as the silent tears rained down, staining her cheeks with her emotions she couldn’t name.

#zoyalai #zoyalai fic #my writings #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky #kos #kos fic #tgt #s&b #nikolai x zoya

[lazlayon]

URL Change!

bookwormmakesanaccount >>>>> lazlayon

#sb!

[kcrclrezni]

A Visit from King Nikolai 

TWAS the night before the feast day, when all through the estate,  Not even Oncat was stirring, for it was too late. The orphans of Keramzin were nestled all snug in their beds; While visions of buttery sweets danced in their heads.

A snowstorm had descended and covered the realm;  Making travel perilous, even with Grisha at the helm. But the children had been promised a visit and gifts handled with care;  They pleaded with Sankt Nikolai, hoping he would answer their prayer. 

I myself was bundled up in fur and set for the journey;  Telling Tolya, “Stop rhyming ‘cause we’re in a hurry.”  The horses did struggle for the sleigh was too heavy;  Overloaded with toys... we may have packed one too many. 

A stone’s throw from the palace, a tree blocked the path;  Giving us the option to only turn back.  But what of the children? We all thought with woe;  Their feast day can’t be spoiled 'cause we’re stuck in the snow!

THEN a brilliant idea sprung into our minds; Another means of transport that could get us there in time! So we turned around the sleigh to sprint to Lazlayon;  And climbed aboard the first airship we laid eyes upon. 

WE took to the skies, I in the Captain’s seat;  Knowing getting to Keramzin on time would be a feat.  Visibility was low, with the sleet and the snow;  But then we saw lights from the orphanage below!

DISEMBARKING our vessel, we were met with a cheer;  As the doors flew open and the children came near.  We unloaded the goodies and toys with delight;  “Happy Feast Day to all, and to all a good night.”

#mutuals can reblog #bc i'm proud of this yes #♔‘ﾟ‣ { drabbles } — ❝ ten words when two would have sufficed ❞