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#SHE APPARENTLY FOR BILLS SO IM SELFISH IF I MOVE OUT
tittyinfinity · 4 years
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*****PLEASE HELP URGENT******
**PLEASE HELP DISABLED BISEXUAL SINGLE MOTHER ESCAPE HER OWN ABUSIVE MOTHER*
I finally have a place to live after escaping an abusive and overcontrolling mother. I only have one month there though. I just gave all my money to my mother before she kicked me out, despite the fact her job has been paying 3 months of her bills because of my father dying a month ago unexpectedly. Yeah, she may need the extra money because after losing my dad she's struggling, BUT - she relapsed and spent all of the money on m*th.
She is going on rampages. She is not doing ok. Shes using drugs as a way to deal with my father's death and I can't be in that household where she smokes it.
But if I don't find another place to live within the next month, I have to go back.
The money donated to me has been helping me pay for food, gas, and basic necessities along the way. I need at least an extra 500 this month to help me get into my OWN place, plus the added costs of food, gas, hygiene items, car issues that need to be fixed ASAP.....
Anyway I have to deal with this all while making only $500/mo in disability
Paypal.me/yanidork
Paypal.me/yeetpizza
$yourdestinymae
[email protected] (google pay)
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shoezuki · 3 years
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This is a post on the cheating accusations around dream mostly surrounding his response video.
If you don’t want to see this or any of these posts then blacklist the tag #discourse
SO I’ve been doing a lot of digging into what dream has said in his response to Geosquare’s original video and report, which was compiled and conducted by the Minecraft Java mods on speedrun.com. 
I won’t talk about that original report in detail, but basically: the mods came to the conclusion that Dream had a 1 in 7.5 trillion chance of getting the pearl bartering rates and the blaze drop odds that he did within the 6 streams he did. As in, someone would need that luck to replicate what dream got. Therefore, he cheated. 
I’m going to put this into a sort of ‘point form’ in according to topic, attempting to put it in chronological order.
Dream’s Initial Tweets
Ok so first like. these are bad. these tweets are what he said (on twitter, excluding in the speedrunning discord) directly after the video was Uploaded to Geo’s channel. 
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worth noting he did apologize later, although i wanted to talk about these two instances so i felt the need to include it. 
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there’s a lot of interesting wording in the apology tweet itself too. I personally find that when he apologizes he tends to still be very subtextually angry in them with the tone, but more specifically. where he says ‘although i have reason to be upset’, that’s kinda weak and really unneeded. Alongside the ‘intense criticism’, it reads as him trying to say he’s still in the right. kind of like “im sorry i was rude even though I had reason to be rude’. Its an apology sure but he’s not saying sorry for how he really reacted; its justified to him.
Dream’s Response Video
Dream posted a response on his side channel DreamXD on the 22nd, along with the report he had a supposed astrophysicist conduct. I’m going to talk about the report separately from the video for reasons I’ll explain. 
Frankly, the video doesn’t really summarize or explain the report in a meaningful way. At most, it takes some points from it but tends to twist the numbers around, misunderstand the probability and math, and also what the report itself concludes. 
Essentially, dream’s video insists that the numbers found by the mods are wrong and therefore he didn’t cheat at all, yet the report concludes that the numbers found by the mods weren’t entirely accurate, however they’re still extremely unlikely. This is also all under the assumption that the report is entirely correct (ill say how its not next)
His first point is that only his 1.16 run (that was at 5th place two months ago, would have now been 16th) was deemed cheated. This is true; the mods have said that he isnt banned outright and theres no reason to question the legitimacy of his 1.15 runs. 
He also concludes that Geo’s statement that Dream didn’t cooperate with them, and that he deleted 1.16 mod folders, was false. This one is a little more complicated. It could more be chalked up to a miscommunication, although it’s relevant. Geosquare posted screenshots of the specific conversation they had:
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Essentially it wasn’t entirely clear, i can understand how geo and the mods interpreted it in such a way. Altho April added in a quote retweet thread that dream didn’t supply the folder she asked for, so he didn’t supply everything they asked for like he states in the video
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Essentially: yeah, misleading and weird on both ends. I dont think this is really anything quantifiable, although dream talked about this in the video heavily. 
Out of this though, Geo DID correct himself in the description of the mods’ video. Dream shows this in his own response, but it crops out some of what geo says. here’s from dream’s video
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that Update 2 is where he corrects himself. literally why the fuck would you crop it like this and put it in the video i mean this looks so weird and genuinely doesnt provide anything. Here’s what geo actually said
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Dream specifically cut it before the line where geo mentions how he said he deleted his specific 1.16 speedrun profile. This one is just so dumb to me. I’d say ‘why not include that’ but either i feel its a) so there’s no potential for people to say what he had actually said could be interpreted otherwise easily or b) doesnt want people to know he got so upset he deleted files (ego wise yknow). Again, I dont think this is definitive of anything but god. it feels scummy lmao
The Video: Incorrect Representation of His Own Report
Dream straight up doesnt present the report’s numbers properly. In fact it makes the entirety of his visuals forfeit, i.e. the gold block analogy that goes on for like 20 minutes. 
The mods said his luck was 1/7.5 trillion. Dream’s report says its 1/10 million (with the addition of 5 other streams) or 1/100 million (only the 6 streams).
I’ll only consider the 1/10 mil odds, since its all dream really brings up. but Basically; there’s not much difference between 1/10 million and 1/7.5 trillion. 
Dream says that the difference is 7.5 trillion minus 10 million, aka 7.4999 trillion. This is what his entire visual with the gold blocks is based on. This is absolutely incorrect, i cant stress that enough. 
You can’t find the difference of fractions by subtracting only the denominators. Like. this is elementary school math. it just doesnt work. 
It’d actually be calculated as: (1/10 000 000) - (1/7 500 000 000 000) = (74999/7 500 000 000 000)
If the mods are wrong, they’re only wrong by 749999/7.5 trillion. that’s literally only  0.000000099999866666667. 
Dream no doubt saw the numbers, considered 10 million vs. 7.5 trillion, and used these big numbers to hold his own point. PROBABILITY DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT. I really think he was just taking advantage of the seemingly big numbers here and wrote it out in a way that favoured him. The gold block analogy in the video played throughout the entire video practically, jokes were made on it, and he made a point of it being ‘so big the game crashed’. 
It’s just plain wrong. even so a difference in the odds doesnt prove shit. He’s downplaying his own odds that he found too. 1/10 million isnt a small number. Even though the legitimacy of that calculation is in question, it is still significant enough to proclaim he cheated. 
Some quick points before I move onto the report; these aren’t as significant in my eyes but it adds to the picture
there’s been criticism of his joking manor throughout the entire video, very specifically the Bill Nye joke. Considering he doesnt actually have a name to provide for his astrophysicist, this joke doesnt feel right
the mod he had a voice clip from (willz) even believes that he cheated and has agreed with the mod team the whole time. 
Dream never has a name for the mod who is apparently on his side (more understandable), the minecraft developer he quoted, or the astrophysicist (most damning)
Dream states that fabric is used by most speedrunners which is true, but fabric and fabric API are different; dream also had the latter installed. my knowledge of how theyre different is limited, all i really know is the API is what can enable editing of the code while fabric is more a modloader. im not entirely sure on this
Dream has said at the end of the video that all funds will go to the mod team so they can make a client that will regulate cheaters. this has been noted as feeling manipulative or like a ‘bribe’, but it definitely puts the mods in a bad position. 
either they accept it and look like they ‘gave in’ to dream and therefore acknowledge him in the right
they deny it and look selfish/taking dream’s kindness for granted
geo said they would insist it goes to a charity instead
Dream constantly disregards the mods as young, inexperienced, ‘just volunteers’ etcetcetc, despite the fact that theyre analysis has been discussed by people with confirmed PhDs without much criticism
Dream’s Report
The report itself is extremely interesting, in that it’s very questionable, but even so it doesn’t come to the conclusion that dream didn’t cheat. The tone between the video and the report is drastically different. 
This is from the “3. What are the goals of this document?” section:
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It essentially says this isnt intended, from the very beginning, to completely exonerate dream of cheating. Also note that the author says the mods’ report was mostly correct. 
This is at the end of “9 Conclussions”:
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It does notably say cheating isnt the only explanation, but it doesnt actually go as far to say that it’s not possible that he cheated. 
But this can be argued to not matter if we consider the validity of the report as a whole
Dream’s Report: Criticisms
Possibly the first and most known debunking of the report is by u/mfb on reddit, although there’s been much more such as this programmer criticizing the code provided at the end of the report (partially due to how the author of it stated that piglins barter 4-7 pearls, which is incorrect: it’s 4-8), Andrew Gelman, an actual statistician professor from harvard, commented on the original mods’ report as ‘impressive’ while Dream’s report is being regarded as something funny in the comments, and even analysis of dream’s behaviours and his argument by a law student
But what u/mfb posted is what i’ll focus on. Some background into the user; he’s a particle physicist, is moderator in subreddits like r/cosmology and r/astrophysics, he’s regarded as a reliable source on r/askscience and r/askreddit. Basically, multiple other people have vouched for him and before all this he had many posts in these fields. 
that’s already better than the unnamed astrophysicist. 
The post is better speaking for itself but here is a few exerpts from it;
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Essentially, the report’s methods are debunked by u/mfb-, alongside that a moderator of r/statistics regarded the report as ‘nonsensical in its application of statistics’ and linked to u/mfb-’s comment. 
i’m going to end this here. Partially because severe backpain or whatever,.
but I want to say at this point its practically definitive that dream cheated, that he lied to us, and that he continues to do so. Much more could be said on his video such as his tone, intentions, the overt emphasis on the ‘biases’ of the mods. 
I havent even mentioned that the ‘astrophysicist’ themself may be a scam; they are sourced from a website that is extremely sketchy, has no names attached to it, and was created less than a year ago (with practically no traffic on it until maybe a month ago). 
But i hope this is coherent. I have interest in this so if theres questions im always open. 
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gcmblingdice · 3 years
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..
Hopefully my next paycheck will push me having 2000 so i can pay off my aunt so I can get my car this weekend. Gotta make sure too that I can also pay off dad too (but he says to wait til next week?) But then i gotta like buckle down again om finding insurance.
Im also afraid Ill loose my state insurance and wont be able to afrord my meds because i cant afford insurance (unless i go through my work but idk how much extra that will be out of my paycheck.)
Yes I am moving in with my boyfriend and his partner, but I think its only until I am able to be on my own??? Idk. I need to get that clarification but i always forget.
Im also nervous and worried that once I move my dad may decline and idk. Also im not over how my brother keeps joking about me paying dad back cause its his inheritence too.
Like we already did the math and between bills going out and income coming in, he would have 600-700 a month of left over money to use for gas and grocerries etc. He can easily rebuild that 6k+ (8k if we counting the vet) and i mean I understand he wants the money back, but he keeps asking me ans reminding me and i keep telling him Ill.pay him back.
Then he also says to not rush it, but will remind me.of what i already paid him and its like SIR PLEASE? AND I AM SO DONE.
Im full on bulimic again and dont fucking care much anymore about shit and Im slipping. I find myself drinking more and more.
I resubbed to the gym but only went once and feel like shit. Like good job ya dumb bitch 10 dollars wasted a month. (I been trying to do evening walks tbh but i wanna do the gym for real again)
OH AND EVEN THO I CLOSED THE CREDIT CARD MOM HAD FOR DAD I FORGOT I NEEDED TO 0 OUT THE BALANCE LOL I FUCKING HATE IT SO THAT ONTOP OF EVERYTHING.
Man i just do not. Not to mention the walking on eggshells and I am still not over how my dad's side has villainized me ever since the funeral when i told them to fuck off. Also the gays are pedo narrative is one they cling tigthly too because CLEARLY ME HELPING TO LET THIS 13 YR OLD BE HEARD AND ENCOURAGING HER TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HER GENDER AND SHIT IS BIG NONO AND I AM I NOT ALLOWED TO HELP A YOUNG QUEER BECAUSE SHE IS 13 ANE DOESNT KNOW WHAT SHE IS FEELING AND ITS A PHASE.
Man fuck off. The way she was so excited to see someone who was also queer, who gave her space to vent, made me cry.
My aunt knows of her being gay (or qieer) but even she says that the girl might change her mind.
MA'AM. and even if she does end up not being queer ( which i highly doubt since she confessed she was always different in that she liked girls and those who were non gender conforming and always said she felt more seen by gay tiktok and that she wants ti learn more before she can settle on who she is, but she isnt allowed...
BUT APPARENTLY ME JUST SHOWING BASIC DECENCY AMD GIVING HER SPACE TO BE IS BAD AND MAKES ME A P*DO???
and people on either side of my family constantly telling me i look like mom or how well I am doing when ITS CLEAR I HAVenT HAD TIME TO HEALTHILY PROCESS ANYTHING BUT OKAAAAY AND YEEESSSS
Tell me Im selfish because I want a safe space to grieve. Tell me I should be more respectful of my dad cause he is hurt too. Also we love them telling me i am not allowed to speak out on my own abuse at my dads hands because "now you onownyour dad is a good man"
FUCK OUT HERE WITH THAT SHIT. ON GOD.
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*SPOILERS* Thoughts I had while watching TGD 3x17 “Fixation”
Not that anyone probably cares but sorry being m.i.a. and only active on the day tgd comes on 😭 I just feel bleh during the week and as sad as it is lol the Good Doctor coming on makes me happy again so I will catch up on my notifs soon and reply to everyone!!!💕💕
-I’m so excited for tonight and the melendaire drama holy shit I’m not gonna be able to deal
-v dramatic patient entrance with the helicopter
-this actress annoys me because her character annoyed me in marvel runaways lol
-oof wow dash in the hospital with Claire and Melendez watching HE JUST DID HIS LOOK BACK AT DASH AND CLAIRE OH MY GOD 😭😭 before the confirmation of a date 👀
-so we’re taking it as canon that Melendez helped Claire with Kay’s death right?!!?
-Melendez and Claire bouncing ideas and exchanging looks with each other is what I LIVE FOR
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-Melendez feels awkward talking about lim in front of his boo Claire 😭😭 and they had a moment
-Melendez giving advice to shaun is also what I live for THE OGS ARE BACK BABY
-melendaire is killing me already this ep and we’re only TEN MINUTES IN
-I want shea to work our so bad ngl
-oof family drama with park yay
-I’m still waiting for the ep where shaun will be wrong and “learn a lesson” and have a patient die on him, will this be that ep??
-how do people have money for these endless hospital visits and bills like how is this lady not in debt
-there’s too many different dramatic storylines going on this ep
-damn what the fuck y’all really gonna let Morgan get away talking to people like that
-shaire friendship yesss. We love to see it
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-this is going too smoothly shaun can’t be right already lol we’re only 30 minutes in
-Morgan looks v pretty this ep tho
-why is this husband so creepy and unsettling
-is Morgan about to donate a kidney
-my babies!!!! Interacting!!! Him seeking Claire out and being there for her as always HES SO CONFLICTED AND WANTS HER TO SAY NO TO THE DATE I CAN TELL FROM THE LOOK ON HIS FACE but hes encouraging her so softly and says she DESERVES TO BE HAPPY IM DEAD OH MY GOD
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-he wanted to know what Claire thought before giving his opinion because he loves her and doesn’t want to make the first move if she doesn’t feel the same 😭
-shaun calling Morgan the most selfish person he knows lmaooo HES NOT WRONG but I still love her problematic ass even tho she has been pushing it lately
-Melendez mentoring shaun is what I’ve been NEEDING
-it should be a democracy lim tf is that not what happened with Claire when she disagreed with Melendez last season?!
-why are they making her the bad guy wtf this is all coming from a woman who once defied a woman’s wishes on her reproductive surgery??? Like excuse me??? This is NOT my Audrey Lim I do not like this
-awww nooo they’re gonna have lim lie to the kid like that wtf why make her do that and why make that kid feel guilty when he inevitably finds out he is a match
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-the adorable that is melendaire and the ogs 😭
-is lim about to donate a kidney
-WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I EXPECTED TO SEE MELENDAIRE INTERACT AGAIN IM NOT OKAY I DONT WANT TO SEE THIS DATE WITH DASH
-okay wow break my heart before the ep ends why don’t you 🙃🙃 Shaun did need to take lea seriously though since she’s been saying no I wish she hadn’t said it like that though
-OKAY SO we finally got more confirmation that there WILL BE 20 eps with a two parter finale 👀 and Melendez telling shaun he won’t be his resident if he does something
-BUT REALLY NO MORE MELENDAIRE HINTS???!!? Like that Canadian promo built up this melendaire drama and those promo photos showed a melendaire scene that was cut out!!! I NEED MORE we were mislead with that synopsis too
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-I know this won’t be the the end of our ship though because we have 3 EPS LEFT!!! So plenty of time for more melendaire and angst and a lovely arc with those 3 eps and I AM READY!! DONT WORRY SEASON 5 ENDGAME IS STILL A GO
-also I’m still so disappointed about ANOTHER cut melendaire scene :// BUT APPARENTLY IN THE CANADIAN PROMO WE GET MORGAN SAYING SHES GONNA LEAVE BECAUSE HER ARTHRITIS IS GETTING WORSE AND CAN I JUST SAY I WAS RIGHT ABOUT WITH THE EP BEING CALLED HEARTBREAK THAT WAS GONNA BE A STORYLINE
-ALSO WOW just realized NO CARLY tfff
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ssweeneys · 4 years
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i’m having a REALLY bad day
or really past couple of weeks where work is concerned and i just wanna vent bc you know sometimes people out there in the working world understand ya know???
its long, beware. idek if i’ll keep this up its more so for me to just let it out.
so like i’m an office admin for a company (we’ll leave it nameless for protection purposes) and like i supervise receptionists for my office so i’m kinda an office manager but not technically? if that makes sense.
anyway. people these days just don’t want to fucking work like EVER and like to start jobs and then up and vanish to collect that unemployment which to me is really just dumb since there are rules to it in every state and nine times out of ten you’re making like 60% of what your normal paycheck would be and thats surely not enough to live on, so like ??? i don’t get it.
there’s been a constant rotation of receptionists come and go over the last couple of months and two girls who work for me have stepped in on numerous occasions. one lady is in her 60s and doesn’t know anything about computers and is kind of dense?? to say the least. nothing against old ladies. i actually find a majority of them cute or hilarious bc they say what they think and dont give a f*ck who it offends and sometimes that blunt honesty is refreshing and you just need it in a world where people bullshit you 24/7 to further themselves for selfish gain and yaddy yada
anyways.. over recent weeks she’s become more and more intolerable to deal with. i ask her to do things and she gives me attitude and its like the simplest of things.. like email this person, make sure you let this person know they got a package, etc, etc. she can’t do even the most basic of tasks without screwing up. her attitude is just atrocious.
and due to people coming and going i’ve had to alter our schedule a lot. recently, one girl requested off so i adjusted the older lady’s hours (lets call her--carla) mind you carla only works 1 day a week and i’ve been super generous in giving her the entire week of christmas off so -- yeah.
anyways the girl who requested off (we’ll call her nicole) told me she didnt need those days off anymore and so i fixed the schedule one more time to her original days/hours.
now, i print off the schedule every time a change is made and whoever is at the reception desk i tell them to let the other girls know and post it right by the computer they sit at every day so theres no excuse for anyone to say i didnt make them aware. well carla is not the brightest bulb as we already established and she doesnt pay attention so we pretty much have to coddle her apparently and make sure she understands (although its pointless bc she doesnt no matter how hard you try to explain something to her) ANYWAYS she comes in on nicoles day when she wasnt supposed to anymore bc the schedule was fixed, posted, etc. and she gets mad when i ask her why shes there. and yes, i understand that the rotation has fucked us all over and up in so many ways. she is not the only victim here. this has been stressing me out left and right and to no end for MONTHSSSSS. so like i get it? i’m sympathetic to that. i understand the confusion and frustration, i’m right there with them.
HOWEVER, because she’s annoyed/mad/whatever she gives me attitude all day yesterday and is flagrantly disrespectful. i’m her supervisor, regardless is someone upsets you, act professional.
but she doesn’t. we know that. or at least I DO. anyhow.. she’s mad. she’s pissed off right? she’s got an attitude. she sees the new schedule, she brings it to me in my office and asks if its the correct one for tomorrow WHICH SHE IS ON!!! let me make that clear. she was on. she asks if its correct, i’m in the middle of composing an email so i take a moment to respond ‘yes’ she huffs, storms off and goes “you know what? nevermind” i’m like.... okay?? i brush it off. i’ve been brushing off her poor attitude all damn day and i dont say A THING. BC I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. IM SYMPATHETIC TO THAT. we all have bad days. we all get a little frustrated sometimes. we’re human, yeah?
yeah. right. ok.
so then like... carla is working the morning shift for nicole. both carla and nicole showed up. carla pitched a fit bc she came in and was already there and didnt want to go home so nicole was so sweet about it and said thats okay, she can work i understand. bc even though nicole is like half her age, she’s MATURE.
at this point i dont even understand why carla is so upset? she got to stay. she got the hours. she’ll be making the money. all is good right? WRONG.
when the next girl comes in for the afternoon shift, i over hear carla telling her about the mishap that happened that morning (yesterday) and my office is literally maybe 6-7 feet from the front desk so i can hear EVERYTHING that goes on. i mean this is my job. i’m pretty much in charge of making sure the office is running, our employees are happy, etc.
so yeah i over hear carla telling this girl that and i quote “yeah nicole came in this morning and the schedule was switched around and i stayed because i was already here. (then something unintelligible I cant make out bc her voice lowers) you know, it really pisses me off that this keeps happening.”
SHE SAID THIS. TO A NEW GIRL. MAKING ME, NICOLE, EVERYONE LOOK BAD EVEN THOUGH SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED, NICOLE APOLOGIZED, I APOLOGIZED FOR THE MISHAP, IVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR THIS LADY TO PACIFY HER OR WORK WITH HER OR COMPENSATE HER.
so its so infuriating, disrespectful and really downright disgusting for her to trash me, my name, etc to someone. but you know what? I DONT SAY ANYTHING. I dont cause a scene. I go about my business and let it roll off my shoulders bc at this point I know if I say anything its just going to turn ugly and I’m in a professional setting. Sometimes its better to bite your tongue, hold your head up high and move the fuck on about your business.
NOW... oh now, we’re on today. carla is scheduled to work. she came into my office, confirmed it, she was FULLY AWARE OF THIS.
so nicole calls her 5 mins before shes scheduled to clock in and is politely like hey you on your way? and carla is like oh no i don’t work today.
BITCH! THE FUcK YOU MEAN????? WE CONFIRMED THIS LITERALLY!!!!!!!!
omg i cannot at this point i really cannot
but lets proceed... so carla. she’s like yeah i dont come in, tells nicole to check with me. nicole comes to me, i smh and just sigh and am like ok i’m sorry can you please call her back and tell her shes supposed to be here and if theres any issues, transfer the call to me. so nicole calls her, they’re talking, carla is being a cunt (sorry at this point you are) and so i talk to her and shes like you know, this is so frustrating i came in there i asked you if i was supposed to work and you said no (the other girl she trash talked to idk who to name her) and IM LIKE SITTING THERE GOING ????? WHEN????? TO MYSELF BC WE JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION
MY PATIENCE IS SO THIN, ITS NON EXISTENT AT THIS POINT IM OVER IT
IM TIRED
IM SO FUCKING TIRED AND SICK OF HAVING TO PICK UP THE SLACK AND DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF BC NO ONE CAN COME TO WORK, DO THEIR JOB AND GO HOME.
can i just make a point too that we make $12 an hour here. sometimes we are LITERALLY SO BORED we have nothing to do. we can read books or watch netflix if no one is around or i even have time to rp at times. so like THIS IS THE EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD A FUCKING MONKEY could do it.
all you do is answer phones and transfer calls or send an email
its LITERALLY. THAT. FUCKING. SIMPLE????
so like i just dont get it
but back to the point... carla is arguing with me, basically saying my communication sucks, i’m unprofessional (which is laughable but ok) etc...
and i just cant hold it in anymore?? and i’m like well carla, i’m sorry you feel that way and i understand where you’re coming from but i don’t appreciate that you were disrespectful yesterday, you told (new girl) that you were pissed off about what happened and proceeded to talk about me in a really unsatisfactory way.
and she WANTED TO TRY AND SAY THAT THIS WAS A DEFAMATION TO HER CHARACTER. WHEN SHE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!! i mean you can’t but if you were to ask anyone i know i have freakishly good hearing and it gets on my family’s nerves all the time bc i need quiet when writing and i have to beg them to turn their tvs down low just so i can concentrate.
I FUcKIng HEARD THESE EXACT WORDS COME OUT OF HER MOUTH!!!! and she wants to sit here and say that i’m defaming her character.
NO BITCH. Im repeating what I fucking heard you say!!!
why would i make that up? why??? how does that benefit me in any way??? what does that do for me???? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! i’m not benefitting from anything here.
in addition when talking to her on the phone i bring up the fact that she brought the schedule to me (the correct one which SHE IS ON) and asked me to verify if it was correct. but then proceeds to say in the same breath (contradicting herself) that she’s going off the old one????? like okay????? but you’re wrong?? SHE EVEN SAYS ITS AN OVERSIGHT ON HER CHARACTER, SHE ALREADY MADE PLANS YADDY YADA, SHE CANT COME IN TODAY
moral of the story is... she’s dumb. she’s a fucking cunt. and i hate people who try to spin things and victim blame and tell you you’re defaming their character when you call them out on something real they actually said because they’re scared little pussies and can’t just admit its what they fucking said.
yo i’d have a lot more respect for you if you just admit it. i’m not even mad??? i dont give a fuck what you think or feel about me. when i leave here every day i dont come home and cry about work or how people feel about me there.
work me is different from real me. I. DO. NOT. FUCKING. CARE. work people do not know me on a real level only a professional one. i am here to do a job, to make money, to pay bills, to LIVE. i am not here to fret over the opinions of people who do not follow me home, who do not know the real me. WHO. DO. NOT. FUCKING. MATTER.
POINT FUCKING BLANK.
THANK YOU AND GOODBYE
like seriously?? GOD FUCK! i’m so angry.
if you read all of this, like thanks for letting me vent to a total stranger lmao you’re a real one, may you be blessed today and always.
onto that note... i gotta get back to work. (lmfao fucking irony at its finest)
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alanaaacrawford · 5 years
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hello!!! i’m tori (18, she/her, ACDT) and this is my lil baby alana aka ember. she’s still very new so please bare with me for a bit while i find my footing with her hehe but im so so excited to start rping with her and all of you! enough of me rambling, here’s alana:
[ALICIA VIKANDER, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER] IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE EMBER JOINED VELIA FROM PORTLAND, OREGON, USA. APPARENTLY THEIR NAME IS ALANA CRAWFORD AND THEY’RE A ROGUE. THEY HAVE BEEN FIGHTING AS A SOLO PLAYER MEMBER FOR A WHILE NOW. DIDN’T PEOPLE SAY THEY WERE NOT A BETA TESTER? I HEARD THEY TURNED TWENTY FOUR THIS YEAR. LET’S HOPE THEY MAKE IT OUT ALIVE. 
BEFORE LOGGING IN
Alana didn’t have a particularly eventful childhood, though her family’s financial situation was tighter than most. Raised by her single mother, Alana spent a lot of her childhood with friends rather than family, her mother working long hours to make sure there was food on the table every night. Because of their limited finances, Alana and her mother did not have large holiday or birthday celebrations, but they were grateful for what they had.
Alana dropped out of high school a few weeks into her junior year, at the age of sixteen. Her mother wasn’t making enough to pay the rising bills, so Alana got a job as a cashier at the local supermarket. She moved out when she was eighteen, working three jobs (her cashier position, a waitressing job at the cafe around the corner, and an admin position in a real estate agent’s) to pay for her tiny flat and help her mother out. She knew she wanted to do bigger things than file papers all day, but she didn’t have time to think about what that would be, exactly – too busy working. Alana’s gruelling amount of hours also meant she didn’t have time for friends, she only had her mother.
After a lot of saving and scraping together tips, Alana managed to purchase Velia so she could escape from her reality of work and debt and 15 hours days for even a little bit.
AFTER LOGGING IN
When Ember first started playing the game, she was quick to join a guild, knowing there was strength in numbers. The close-knit community of Catalyst called to her with promises of protection and loyalty, a community she didn’t have outside of Velia. And for a while things were good.
She left Catalyst when she witnessed a guild-mate, her friend, commit a sleep player kill on a solo player. All the protection offered to her by Catalyst – a group she considered her family after so much time in the game – was not worth the deaths of defenceless people just to gain better weapons for the guild. Ember stood in the shadows, watching in shock as her friend killed the innocent. Sure, she’d done some morally grey things in the game (hadn’t they all?) but she was no longer able to turn a blind eye to Catalyst’s unnecessary cruelty. She packed her bag that night and escaped into the shadows. She’s worked mostly alone ever since.
Having honed her stealth and night vision to a sharp and threatening point, Ember has always been ready when other players have come after her. Her status as a prominent weapons merchant makes her a highly desired target for those not willing to pay her prices, but she hasn’t let a single weapon leave her person without… fair payment… thus far.
Ember's general strategic gameplay has been allowing the oh so heroic guild members to fight the major boss battles, while she sneaks around the side, launching sneak attacks on mob monsters. However, being a solo player means Ember has no one watching her back, so she splits her time between fighting enemy lines and looting shops, guilds or other solo players (whatever or whoever she can find, really) for weapons, clothes and supplies. You can’t always be the hero when you’re too busy watching your own back.
The only thing that seems to crack Ember’s strong exterior is her leopard mount, Eira. The animal brings out a soft, open side to her seen by no one else. Eira is the one thing Ember’s deathly afraid of losing in the game.
Unlike most, Ember isn’t in a rush to escape Velia. All that’s waiting for her back home is debt and the responsibility of putting food on the table, after all.
PERSONALITY
Life before Velia turned Alana into a cynic – wishes don’t just come true, you have to work and work and work.
When she logged on to Velia and joined Catalyst, Alana finally learned to lean on someone else and let others help provide for her. That’s why it hurt so much more when her friend committed the sleep player kill – the very people she thought she could depend on were capable of abusing power to such a horrific extent. And better believe she holds onto a grudge like it’s her lifeline.
Alana's experience in Catalyst hardened her. As a solo player, she became even tougher and more selfish than she was in real life. You won’t get any handouts from her.
She's pretty brazen (some might even say careless) in her battles. She doesn’t really care if she doesn’t make it out of the game.
If Alana lets you call her by her real name rather than her username, you know you’ve gained her trust. She doesn’t give it out easily.
(And she absolutely won’t hesitate to try and swindle you in a bargain.)
PLOT IDEAS!!
Ex-friend who committed sleep player kill (see bio page)
Ex-catalyst members who are hunting her down for the rare weapons she stole when she left
Information broker “friend” who sells their secrets in return for her weapons. maybe they’re friends (as a loose term) who don’t trust each other, screw each other over a few times (maybe screw heheh) (that’s v optional lmaoo the joke just worked) idk come plot with me
Alchemist/mystic friend. actually proper friends this time lol this friend is the one she comes to when she’s injured/needs somewhere to crash etc
Bring me fwbs with an excess of flirty banter thankqqq
just a few suggestions but PLEASE come plot with me i’m nice i promise and i’m open to basically everything so shoot me a message or like this post an i’ll message you!
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newf0undnirvana · 2 years
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My stepdad came to me 2 months ago and said "you cant ever stop talking to your mom ok. You cant ever go no contact like your sister, it would break her, please just, be patient with her, try to stay in her life ok"
And im like ??????? Ok???? Never planned on stopping talking to my mom .. but alright? Like u do understand the narcissism and gaslighting and controlling etc i have endured since I was a kid us what makes me avoid her right? And he completely invalidated me saying its all about perspective. Lol
And now Im learning that they reversed their plans to move to BC (which they were sooo excited for, my mom wanted to live near her brother) and now are fighting so much that they want to separate. Barely talking. They're both popping pills qnd drinking a box of wine on a daily basis just to not go psychotic on eavhother and they dont remember a THING you tell them. which then becomes being gaslit because obviously IM the one not remembering correctly and putting words in their mouths right..
We had the biggest blow out a week ago. over repairs im supposed to do to their bathroom in our rental house. We estimated 7-10k value for a regulsr homeowner for this reno, its an entire gut job. I told them i can do it for them for closer to 5-7k. They literally picked tile, looked at vanities, we talked about expanding the back wall to make it bigger because i already habe to rip the drywall down. But apprently they dont remember any of that. they lost it on me for an hour because they think me asking them to pay for my labour, (minimally, might i add, this is literally a 2 week job to gut and refinish a bathroom that was mouldy) is unacceptable and rude and disrespectful. Apparently because shes my mother she should get a 9k bathroom reno for 1200 dollars lol and do no work towards it. And even though we agreed on price MONTHS ago, their memories are fucked and now im being gaslit and blamed for them not remembering agreeing to this reno at all! She then compared me to her sociopath brothers qho abused her for her whole life, because i GAVE HER A BILL. which wasnt even a bill, it was 3 sheets of paper where i did my math to get my price.. i took regulsr price, and divided it by 4. Shes paying a quarter essentially by my math. But they would barely even look at it, they were just astounded that i was asking to be paid for my time. I lost it on her, they kept cutting me off, agruing with me, disputing whats been said, not even reading the numbers, and I told her maybe if they werent so fucked up on booze and pills all the time theyd fucking remember our conversations about this. I made her cry. Apparently it hurts her feelings that im expecting her to pay for this reno and i dont want to do it out of the goodness of my heart. Like I do feel bad that i hurt her feelings eith my blow outs that night but its not my fault that she doesnt remember OKing this reno and now shes upset that i dont like her enough to do it for next to free. When we already agreed on cost!!
So she left that night in tears saying i guess we dont have the relationship I thought we did. And im confused like idk what relationship YOU thought we had, but the one I KNOW we had is the one where you get the perks and i get shat on. i used to bend over backwards to help. To take care of the dogs and the kids, her house when shes away, to be her therapist for hrs anytime i visited, to make sure you dont get sad and kill yourself or lose your shit on me and the other kids cause rhat the life I qas used to growing up. The last 3 years shes hurt because i respect my own boundaries now. I dont drop what im doing the second she texts me to do something for her, i say no, and suddenly now im selfish and mean. We have no relationship. You dont call or text asking how im doing, how work is, how my dogs are, if anything in the house needs repairs. Because you dont care about anyone but your fucking self. If you text me its to passive aggressively call me out for not coming over in the last 2 weeks. I ran intocher a petsmart and i from her i got "oooh so i gotta go to petsmart to see my daughter huh?" And from my step dad i got "ahhhaaaaaa im so fucked up rn. I almost died last week on these pills sp im taking less but whoooowee im fucked up" and HE was driving.
Im done man. Im 26 years old. Im not a child anymore and I'm tired of being treated like it but only when it works for her narrative.
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hello I am a very casual fan of Fleetwood Mac and I'm very confused with all this Lindsey stuff. Could you pls give me a quick rundown of the history between Lindsey and Stevie?
hello anon!! i’m gonna try my best for this! these r all things i researched last year so sources might be a find ur own kinda thing bc last year i got into deep ass research RIP
stevie and lindsey met in high school at a party when stevie harmonized to california dreaming with lindsey. years later, lindsey asked stevie to join his band, fritz, soooo she did. over time, stevie and lindsey started dating, which their band didn’t entirely... like. and eventually, stevie and lindsey departed and formed their own duo. they released an album, buckingham nicks, that ultimately flopped but is honestly one of the greatest albums of all time. during this time, when they werent doing shows, stevie would work so lindsey could work on their music (which is an ACTUAL THING, he wasn’t lazy, she just took one for the team). lindsey ended up touring with don everly for some time, which was when stevie wrote landslide about their relationship. they stuck things out and went really strong, continuing their shows.
eventually, they were discovered by fleetwood mac and were asked to join (lindsey was asked to join, he pleaded that stevie was allowed to join as well). the two joined the band, where lindsey met christine and hit it off with her. they saw eye to eye musically and thus had a bond that stevie and lindsey didn’t have. christine also developed a crush on lindsey and even wrote a song about him (OVER MY HEAD). i think at this point, stevie was beginning to grow jealous of this relationship and also paranoid of lindsey cheating on her. lindsey never did actually cheat on her, but stevie drove herself to the point where she cheated on him, ultimately ending her relationship with lindsey. lindsey was broken hearted, but didn’t want to dwell over it, and moved on. he dated carol ann, whom i adore, and it drove stevie nuts (see: silver springs). stevie eventually began her affair with mick and later with lindsey.
things continued from there, a lot of it you can hear in their music. lindsey went back and forth on his feelings for stevie that he eventually wrote the Anthem™ go insane, which is about how stevie constantly lead him on emotionally one minute, and then would get pissed and blah blah blah. their relationship became unhealthy, manipulative, selfish, and just simply.... dead. there was so much hurt and blame there and it eventually pushed lindsey’s mental health to a point where he finally dipped from the band in 1987. he eventually rejoined when Bill Clinton, Our Lord And Savior™, reunited fleetwood mac. 
lindsey and stevie, in 1997, were touring again, and sleeping together again, when they were reportedly working things out and planning to get back together. lindsey had planned to leave his girlfriend for her so they could finally be together until.... Bam! Surprise! his girlfriend told him that she was pregnant. lindsey and kbuck (MY LOVE) eventually had their son, will (our leader) in 1998. stevie said her heart broke that day because she knew she had lost lindsey forever. lindsey and kbuck had a daughter two years later (my girl leelee!!!!), marrying right before im p sure. they then had stella a few years later.
during this time, when fleetwood mac was touring, lindsey and stevie had begun Their Thing again, apparently going to each others rooms quite often. there was one night, however, when stevie was expecting him and didn’t see him that night. lindsey’s wife had flown out to la to give him an ultimatum: it was either his affair or his family. lindsey stayed by himself that night, when he wrote cast away dreams--a song about letting go of a love. he also wrote say goodbye but thats a whole ‘nother tear jerker.
lindsey gave up his romance with stevie and is very happily married with kbuck and their three kids. stevie, now, apparently hates him again.
i wonder why.
anywayy sjhdbhbsjfhb i hope this does it!!!
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blame-canada · 6 years
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I Think - Crenny
Kenny is just starting to tiptoe into the realm of boyfriend terminology with Craig when he gives him a gift he could never repay him for. The way to Kenny's heart is his family, after all, and with the way he's gotten to see all their smiles so brightly this Christmas Eve, he's about ready to pop the question. He thinks, though, he thinks.
Hello everyone! I was given the opportunity to post the Secret Santa gift fic that I wrote for @kotaii-san! It’s some Christmas Eve fluff, just in time for Christmas Eve. It’s a bit long to be posting on Tumblr, but I guess that’s what cuts are for, haha. I hope you enjoy. :) Read it on AO3 here!
“I don’t mean to be a bratty teenager, but this sucks.”
The words hurt Kenny more than he wants to let on. At thirteen, Karen has had her fair share of pubescent girl meltdowns, and Kenny’s cleaned up the aftermath more times than he can count. In Kevin’s defense, he’s helped too, but the older he’s gotten, the more detached he’s become. His mother tries, sometimes, but more often than not she gets so overwhelmed so quickly that before Karen’s even done screaming, she’s reaching for the nearest illicit drug. It’s frustrating, but it’s life, he supposes, and Kenny sometimes wonders if in a different world he could have been dealt a better hand. It’s not worth the trouble to dwell on it now though, because the three of them are busy sitting huddled in the center of the living room, touching shoulders for warmth because the heat is at a bare minimum, and finding patterns in the stains on the carpet with their mouths shut and their fingers curled around small hands of cards.
“It’s not your fault,” she adds on, because apparently he hadn’t hid his disappointment well enough to keep it a secret and she reads him like a book anyway. “You do your best. It just kinda sucks.”
Kevin shivers while he nods, and the guilt in the pit of Kenny’s stomach weighs him to the floor so that he sinks further into the circle they’ve made, nearly touches noses with the discard pile. Sometimes in December he dreams of Stan’s house, or even Cartman’s, where it’s warm and there are soft lights and candles everywhere and pine needles wrapped around the banisters and fallen on the tree skirt that adorns the very bottom of their Christmas trees.
The McCormicks have never had a Christmas tree. He isn’t sure if it’s because his parents never thought it was important, couldn’t afford it, or both. He’d been planning on surprising them all with one this year with a meager savings he’d accumulated from the jobs he’s been working to help pay the bills, but it had to go to an emergency window fix, the glass punched out in a fit of rage. Kevin’s hand is still scabbed over and bruised on the knuckles.
“Do you think mom will be home in time? For midnight? Uno,” Karen asks as she drops a card onto the pile, because for some reason they still care that their family is together while the calendar turns to the twenty-fifth. Their father walked out ages ago, which was probably for the best. Now their mother works late into the night and early in the morning, and they don’t see her very much anymore. Kenny understands, but they all miss her, regardless of how horrible she can still be. It’s not a perfect place, and maybe when they move out they’ll each have their own revelations about just how toxic and abusive the household they came from was, but for now it’s all they’ve got.
“Dunno, Kare,” Kevin mutters, and Kenny puts his cards facedown on the ground to pat the top of her head instead. She protests with a whine and ducks away, but he still messes up the top layer of her thin hair. When she straightens up, she’s smiling, and Kenny smiles too.
“Love ya, kiddo,” Kenny says, because they don’t say ‘Merry Christmas,’ because it doesn’t really mean anything. They never were taught the story of Santa Claus. There isn’t much merry about their seance for warmth in a cold, dark house.
“Love you too, Kenny,” she replies, her voice small and fragile, and she adds, “love you too, Kevin.” Kevin grunts.
They finish their game and fall back into silence, and Kenny reaches for his phone, practically a burner several years out of circulation. He has a new text message, and he feels a flutter in his chest, because the name of the sender is a short string of emojis and there’s only one person in his contacts without a regular name.
His phone buzzes in his hand as another text comes in, from the same tiny spaceship between two stars.
   You home
   Answer if youre up for a good time :P
Kenny licks his lips, glances up at his siblings while he contemplates the offer. They’re each using one earbud to listen to music. The screen from the old iPod they still use is lighting up their faces, because night is setting in and the last drops of sunlight are fading from their profiles so that they turn to silhouettes. Ordinarily he would say yes, of course, in a heartbeat, because his spaceship crush is a deadly combination of addicting and rare. Tonight he hesitates though, because it is Christmas Eve, and as he realizes this, he thinks to ask him why he’s looking for a quick visit today of all days.
  tf u doin xmas eve that u wanna fuck around instead @_@?
The response is almost immediate. His spaceship is always lightning-fast, the same way it traverses the galaxies like ponds and hops stars like lily pads.
   Nothing important
Before Kenny can reply, he sends another.
  Thats not true. Im doing important stuff. Which is why I need to know if you are part of the important stuff.
Kenny sighs. Though it’s tempting, and he feels like maybe it’s selfish, his family needs him more. Maybe they’re fine, he doesn’t know. It just doesn’t feel right.
   i gotta spedn it w the fam dude. xmas sux but u kno. its family
  *spend
There is a long pause in which Kenny does nothing but stare at his phone. There isn’t much to do on it like the newer models, so it feels like more of a brick than anything else. He switches between watching the clock tick by and watching his brother and sister share music together. It’s approaching eleven, and he isn’t sure his mother will make it home in time after all. The pile of cards they’ve abandoned sits neatly at their feet. The brick vibrates.
   Well. Dont go anywhere.
Kenny’s curiosity is piqued, but he’s not sure if it’s too forward to ask what he’s talking about. His spaceship likes to keep secrets sometimes, within its indestructible metal walls. That’s not quite true, Kenny corrects, because he knows how to destruct it, and it’s one of his favorite things to do. The faint high of excitement and nerves makes his stomach flip, and he tucks his phone away in his pocket, reaching out to hold Kev and Karen’s hands again per tradition.
Karen drops her head on Kenny’s shoulder and starts to doze off then, and he starts blinking away sleepiness himself as the ambient noise of his house lulls him to sleep. He doesn’t want to fall asleep though, so he keeps snapping back up to attention, jolting his head up and blinking his eyes rapidly awake. Kevin seems to be doing the same thing, and eventually, Karen starts gently snoring against him. He adjusts his arm so she can rest her head on his lap and in her sleepy stupor she obeys- something she hasn’t done since she was nine years old. He pets her head with his now free hand and tries not to think about how much she deserves better.
A knock on the front door startles all three of them so that they sit up straight, and Karen gasps as she returns to the waking world. “Mom?” Kevin asks, and Kenny shakes his head.
“Nah, she don’t knock. Lemme check by the window.” Kenny stands, walks across the room carefully to avoid the squeakiest floorboards, and peeks out the window to check out the scene.
He’s met with a view of a mass of dark green.
He is even more confused than before. He looks back at his family and nods his head roughly to the left, silently telling them to hide behind the hallway, and they obey quickly. Kenny takes the metal bat he keeps by the door in his hands, shifting it in his grip carefully and weighing its potential fatality, and in a streamlined motion he’s practiced before, he yanks the door open and pulls his bat up behind his head, ready to swing.
“What the-” a familiar voice rasps, and its owner leans backwards, his eyes wide with surprise. “Kenny what the fuck,” he exclaims, and it takes Kenny a moment to take in what he’s seeing.
Craig, his spaceship between two stars, is standing on his doorstep, and in his arms is a big pine tree as tall as he is. Kenny drops his bat down against the wall, and takes a deep breath in through his nose. “You answer first. What’s goin’ on?”
Craig blinks, then shakes the tree a bit to his right. “I said important stuff.” He shrugs, a motion made awkward by his bulky cargo, and Kenny points at it.
“What is that?” he asks, not wanting to get ahead of himself, but he thinks he knows. He has a pretty good idea that he knows.
“The fuck does it look like?” Craig shivers and Kenny realizes he’s left him standing outside inappropriately, and he jumps to the side so Craig has room to enter his humble abode- emphasis on humble. “I got you a tree,” he says as he lugs it in, and with a small grunt of effort, he leans it against the wall beside the door.
Kenny is silent for a moment. “You sure fuckin’ did,” he replies, weakly, because he’s not really sure what else to say. “Where the fuck d’you find a tree on Christmas Eve?”
“Farms sell them till the last minute. I knew you didn’t have one this year. I got a stand and shit too, because, you know.” It’s unspoken that Craig most likely knows that it isn’t just a this-year thing that they don’t have a Christmas tree.
He can’t really help himself; Kenny wastes no time in planting a sloppy kiss on Craig’s lips, not caring that maybe their relationship status isn’t the most defined or that his sister might see. He doesn’t care at all about anyone except the angel gone rigid in front of him who then wraps his arms around his back like he’s hugging him for dear life, like he always does. He feels tears prick at his eyes and tries to blink them away, but he’s not entirely successful. He wants Craig to know how much he loves this moment so he doesn’t try too hard.
Kenny doesn’t say anything at first because there’s not much that he can say to make it better. The silence between them is their usual comfortable normal, the adoration in Kenny’s heart beating so rapidly he’s sure Craig can feel it against his chest. “Thank you,” he finally decides on, whispering it, and Craig hums, the vibration of his Adam’s apple tickling Kenny’s cheek. “Is this real?” he breathes against his collarbone.
“I think so?” Craig replies, but the way it sounds genuinely like a question makes Kenny laugh.
“Craig, I don’t,” he begins, but he truly doesn’t know what to say, and so he says, “I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t say anything,” Craig murmurs, and he kisses the shell of his ear, and suddenly Kenny is floating miles above his own body. His soul dances in his chest like a ballerina, jumping and spinning in joyous circles that make him laugh. He must look crazy, doing that, laughing for no outward reason, but he doesn’t care.
“Kenny..?” a timid voice calls, and he remembers he banished the other two-thirds of his family behind the corner of his house for their protection. He leaves Craig’s arms as he turns around and Karen is peeking around the corner, her tiny hands gripping the wall and hair spilling straight down towards the floor.
“You can come out,” he says softly, his smile warm and glowing, “it’s just Craig.”
He can see the sigh of relief in her shoulders before she hops out from the hallway. She catches sight of the tree and gasps. A big smile is slowly growing on her face until it becomes too strong to hide behind her lips and her teeth poke out with glee. Kevin saunters out behind her, but rests his back against the wall, crossing his arms and keeping watchful distance.
Before she can crash into them, Karen screeches to a halt in front of him and Craig. She looks back and forth between the two of them, her eyes crinkled slightly closed from the pure intensity of the blissful grin on her face. “Um,” she begins, suddenly growing shy and clasping her hands in front of her sheepishly, “is that for us?” She looks over at the tree then back at Craig, waiting patiently.
Kenny looks to Craig too, whose expression is essentially unreadable at first but melts into a gentle smile, the kind that makes Kenny melt too. “I had an extra, so.” Karen giggles and Kenny sees Kevin chuckle a bit too before he kicks away from the wall to join the rest of them. “We gonna put this shit in the window or what?”
The rest of their evening is punctuated by happy chattering and giggling while they put together the small string of lights and miscellaneous baubles that Craig has likely stolen off his own Christmas tree for them, and Kenny wishes he could have recorded it. He wishes he could have committed every single second to memory, to savor the glow and genuine joy that pulsed from each of their chests so that every moment felt sweet, soft, and safe. He can, however, memorize the little flashes of things: the way Craig’s eyes get so dark they look black when the room is lit only by Christmas tree lights. The way Kevin smiles when he’s truly, really, happy, with one side of his mouth higher than the other and his tongue stuck between his canines in a smile. How Karen looks at him when no one else is looking, with so much innocent hope in the rosiness of her cheeks that he’s forgotten his worries entirely.
The way his mother looks shocked, confused, then overjoyed when she walks through the door at twelve fifty-three in the morning, officially Christmas Day.
They hold their breath as she steps quietly across the room and looks up at Craig, who struggles to keep eye contact and has to look away after only a few seconds. “Um,” he starts, but she pulls him down into a tight hug, and she starts to cry.
“Thank you,” she says, “oh, thank you for doin’ this for my babies. Thank you so much, Craig. Yer a good kid, you know. Your momma must be proud.” Craig’s cheeks are flushed with embarrassment after that, and Kenny can’t help but giggle at him, his heart in the clouds. “Well come on in now, kids. It’s Christmas, come on!” she insists quietly, her arms opened wide on either side of her, and Kevin, Karen and Kenny pile into them with Craig squished between them all.
She sighs, but it’s happy, and she holds them for a moment longer than usual. “Look, look,” she murmurs, twisting each of her children around by their shoulders- Craig too. “Look at all them pretty lights. You ever seen somethin’ so beautiful in this room?”
Kenny looks up, studies the way the white lights glow against the window and the wall, and he thinks to himself that he has. He’s seen four things so beautiful in this room in fact, and he sees them all around him, and it’s the most beautiful this room’s ever felt for as long as he can remember. Craig’s shoulder is bony against his own, and, remembering his proximity, he twists his hand around his forearm to search for his fingers. They find his and wrap together, warm and clammy, and Kenny breathes out deeply. For a moment, as his lungs empty, so do his troubles.
“Craig,” Kenny mumbles, his eyes struggling to stay open, the streetlight outside the only thing telling him that Craig’s eyes are open too across from him on his mattress.
“Hmm?” he hums, the way he does where his lips buzz and resonate with the vibrations of his heart. Their hands are clasped between them, meeting in the middle between their pillows and bathing in the white light that paints crescents in Craig’s dramatic knuckles.
“I think I love you,” he whispers, letting the smile in his heart overtake his lips, and Craig’s eyes widen before they return to half-lidded. Kenny watches his lips stretch into the widest closed grin he’s ever seen on Craig’s face. He looks so silly, like a caricature of a smitten cartoon.
“Oh yeah?” he questions, and Kenny laughs a bit.
“Yeah,” he says, “I think so.”
“Well,” Craig murmurs, in the deep, raspy voice that he adores that precedes his sleep and preludes his mornings, “I think I love you too.”
He squeezes his fingers in time with his racing pulse and closes his eyes, resting his forehead against the soft, flat back of Craig’s hand. “Thank you,” he whispers, and Craig hums again, and he falls asleep dreaming of the day he isn’t afraid to leave out ‘I think.’
Not yet, but maybe next year.
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zebrasaursaylor · 4 years
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My mom has been up my fucking ass to go and see her/talk for hours on end on the hpone which is all fine and dandy and i can usually manage a phone call but the fact that she demands/tries to tell me i must do shit for her and gets all butthurt if i dont when its shit that is 100% out of my way (like asking me to pick shit up from the store on days she thinks im not working or asking me to pick shit up after im already out of work when she knows im not the one who goes in stores my husband is and she always asks for shit that you have to go to the next town over or further yet can go to the bar with her friends and sit inside no less)
And then come to find out idk what shes saying but shes shit taking my dad again. I dont even want to speak to her right now bc i cant fucking even right now with her.
My parents have been divorced for like fucking 12 years now, my dad is remarried and she still demands he does shit like paint her house for free on demand ( meaning if she asks she wants it done the next week nevermind the 20 other PAYING jobs we need to get done FIRST), demanding my dad still owes her ever growing and changing amounts of money from the divorce (he doesn't) and my dad ALWAYS GIVES THE MONEY TO HER. So she has fucking 0 things to bitch about involving my dad yet i guess one her friends whos also my neighbors dad (and has alrrady married 2 other women previously with the same name as my mom) apparently now has a problem with my dad bc as my mom says "hes very protective of her". Why? Of what? My father is not only extremely nice and hates confrontation and will fuck himself over to make others happy, hes also like smaller than my mom noticeably. My dad is NOT a large man by any physical means and hes not going to verbally do anything either, he lets her walk all over him just to avoid making her even more mad. But like WHY.
And its even more annoying because she does this all the fucking time. If she can't take someone else's situation and make it into a pitty party for her shes not fucking happy. If she cant shit talk and let the whole town know your secrets and secret buisness, shes not fucking happy.
Last year she fucking told everyone in town we can't/dont pay our bills and live paycheck to paycheck, which tbh theres nothing wrong with that and SHE DID IT WITH MY DAD FUCKING 30 YEARS AGO, but it was an outright fucking lie bc we make more than her and she can't fucking stand it!!!! Shes said horrible things and spread horrible rumors about my husband and his private buisness, she even texted my exbest friend to try to contact my shit ass ex to try to get my ex and i back together AFTER we got engaged. :))))) and told my ex best friend a bunch of lies and bullshit about my husband.
So honestly i can just fucking guess what shes said about my dad and its taking so much not to drive to that fuckers house and ask what his fucking problem with my dad is bc i KNOW shes spewing her bullshit again.
And everytime she does this shit it brings back all the shit she did to me as a child and how shit of a parent she was after my parents got divorced (i lived with her and spent any time i wanted with my dad which was any nonschool time). Like i swear to fuck what kind of shit parent do you have to be to look your 12year old in the eyes and tell them that you're going to give them up for adoption and that if you "had more money, i wouldn't come home to you." Those are things that will be burned into my memory forever, i remember the exact moment. Where she stood. Her face. Her finger pointing at me. My face stinging. Being called a selfish bitch. But she claims it never happened. No kid makes that shit up to fuck? Themselves up? Its not like i told anyone my mom didn't want me anymore when i was in fucking middle school. Thats fucking embarrassing and everyone else already hated me too so i had no one to tell anyways.
But like. I work realllllyyy gard to work past those things with her and she ALWAYS does something to top herself. And its just. So fucking annoying. Shes not like that when others are around. Everyone thinks shes nice and sure she is, until she's not. And at the same time, her abuse is nothing compared to some, which is just another thing i tell myself to forgive her.
Like yea. Shes my mom and sometimes i hate her, sometimes hate myself for hating her. But sometimes i know im not wrong. She is. Shell never admit it. Never acknowledge it. Probs lie and say she never said anything to anyone. But she's lying.
And really? I just cant wait to move. When we do, my dad will still come visit and stay the weekend. My mom will probably not be able to stand it. Which i feel bad for. I know shes lonely...... But shes gonna stay pretty lonely if she doesnt stop this shit. Theres a reason all her friends are trumpers. Even where we live, my friends are still not Republicans, and sure im probs friends with damn near all the dems in my county but i just fail to see how you can be friends with people who talk about at the very least your child (and your husband of like 20 years) as if were subhuman. As if were nothing but a fucking slur.
Im just. So fucking done with her bs. When shes not starting shit shes fine but when she gets bored.... Jesus fuck.
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krebstar · 7 years
Text
hey so like i feel absolutely silly doing this but it has been really rough and i’m not sure i can really Handle my mom anymore
this is mostly planning in advance but, i’m in a mentally abusive household and i really need out of it. however, i am a minor so i’m unable to for at least another year. i would really appreciate having the money to move out as soon as i can, which is why i’m making this post.
my paypal is here, and you can buy me a coffee here. i do commissions, too if you would prefer that.
more details about what’s going on are under the cut. it’s... really long but has like. everything i can remember, so.
so... this has been going on as long as i can remember (~10 years old or so). it used to be both of my parents, but my dad passed away and now it’s just my mom.
the earliest thing that i can remember is from the later years in elementary school (3-5th grade? around 8-10 years old?). my dad was terrifying when he was angry and was very loud, and my mom had a tendency of getting me in trouble, and then telling him how awful i was and she would have him yell at me for something he knew very little about (she would make him just jump into the conversation.) this was one of those times, and i was curled up on the floor with him yelling at me, and her standing over me. i remember afterward, i wrote something along the lines of “my happiness is ruined” or “i’ll never be happy” or something of the sort about.. not being happy, then i tore it to shreds.
around middle school (11-14 years) was where everything sort of picked up? my mom began to pick on me with constantly telling me i was breaking out, i looked bad, smelled bad, and so on and so forth. i asked her to stop numerous times and she refused to, laughing in my face whenever i asked. it started to make me feel bad about myself, and is the root of why i’m self conscious.
one day (7th grade) when she was telling at me for something i can’r remember, i told her “i hate myself because of you” and she replied “if you hate yourself because of me, you need to get a life.” thus, marking when i stopped telling her anything.
there was one time at a restaurant, where my mom wanted me to try and do the math for the bill. despite me refusing due to my math learning problems (possibly dyscalculia, but she refuses to get me tested), she continued to try and press it on me. when i continued to say no and got stressed and upset that she was trying to force me to do something i didn’t understand, she reacted badly. she told me that we were joking and laughing (we weren’t, she was very serious) and then told me that i had a “personal problem.”
my mom and i were at my grandma’s over the summer and she told me that she always jokes with me after arguments (meaning: she yelled at me a lot and made me have a panic attack) so i “get over it quicker” / “forget about it”
at one point laptop broke, and my mom called the people to send it in and get it fixed despite already taking her medicine (which wouldn’t have kicked in for another 30 minutes). I was grateful and thanked her, though i was still panicky and crying due to being so dependent on my laptop. i was yelled at for being in that state, and it was another instance when my dad yelled at me as i was curled up on the floor. he yelled at me for not being grateful when my mom called even though she took her medicine, and for some other stuff i can’t remember right. (i do remember pulling my hair hard and calling myself a horrible ungrateful daughter.)
one time when my dad and her were fighting (they were on a brink of a divorce before he passed away) she said that if i wasn’t around, that she would kill herself. she said that.. when i was right there in the other room with the door wide open.
(my dad was always neglectful of me, and never? really gave me the time of day to the point where i didn’t entrust that he could take care of me, and if he payed attention to me, he would just yell at me.)
in 8th grade, my dad passed away by drowning (i feel uncomfortable giving more details about that, if you need them you can PM me, but otherwise i won’t disclose the rest. i have a post about it in my archives somewhere as it was happening.) i grieved “weirdly” i suppose, i didn’t wish to hear the word “dad” or look at the river, let alone be around it. i didn’t want to talk about it with my mom, though i talked about it with my friends.
i continued to not to want to look at the river, and would refuse to, for a couple months. my mom didn’t like this at all and told me to “get over it” several times. and even though i asked her not to talk about him several times, she did anyway, constantly and always.
around freshman year things sort of.. escalated. the rest of this will be taking place from freshman year to current (14-16/almost 17). these might be out of chronological order, but ill try to keep them in order as much as possible. i started writing stuff down around here so im going to start off with the dated ones:
Saturday, January 9 2016: admitted to wanting to slap me Wednesday, January 20 2016: admitted to wanting to slap me Monday, February 22 2016: Oak Court mall in a dressing room: grabbed me by my shirt Wednesday, March 30 (6:00am): “You know one day in the morning you’re going to cop a little attitude and i’m just going to smack you.” (a minute afterward coming and saying she loved me) Monday, August 8th (5:36am) “if you give me a sarcastic attitude this early in the morning, I’ll end up smacking you in the face.” Wednesday, August 31st (9:41am) she was throwing an eraser at me, and when I was showing discomfort, she said “be glad I’m not throwing something bigger at you” and pretended to hit me with my tub of icing
August 9th, 2016: i suggested we leave so we can go feed the cats [that i was catsitting]. she didnt get that, and got mad at me for “never listening to her” because she wanted to feed the cats afterwards. she said i always get what i want, and she wants to get what she wanted. started talking about how i “lived a charm life” and i always “get what i want” and asked me what i “didnt have” and “nothing? yeah”
told her i was upset because i felt like she was so mad at something that wasn’t that big of a deal. the conversation below happened (her voice was slightly raised)
my mom: you always say i get upset with you for nothing me: when was the last time i did that? my mom: the last time we fought me: and when was that?? my mom: my mom: it doesnt matter
she started talking about how it was a problem i think i “always get what i want” and if i didnt think it was a problem that i had a “serious problem” with her. i started to be unresponsive, just looking ahead and replying with “okay” and not being on my phone. she started to try to talk to me, and turned on the radio station i like to listen to. she started to tell me she loved me. she apologized afterwards, and its the only time i can ever remember her apologizing for anything.
there was a time we got into an argument, she said that we “dont have [my] dad to be peacemaker,” completely ignoring that it was NEVER his role to be peacemaker, and that she only ever made him yell at me more.
she talked a LOT about my dad and how awful he was, and about their marriage problems. she told me at one point that her bipolar is so bad because my dad never had sex with her enough.
she attempted to have .... something with one of my really close friend’s dad at one point in time, in the past couple years or so. i walked in on them making out sometime. she wanted to date him-- and lied about it-- and he didn’t because he was a bit weirded out because my dad had still somewhat recently passed away. she cried for a whole 24 HOURS, ignoring sleeping time, about him and about how much she missed my dad, but never let me grieve in my own way.
we were at perkins when the subject of dating was brought up and i told her i was uncomfortable with it (it hadnt even been a year, or had just been a year or something) and she told me, again, to “get over it”
and, then, she got her boytoy (who we’ll call larry) and successfully got (and still has) a friend with benefits. she lied to me a long time, and told me that they weren't together or anything despite them fucking while i was home, and NOT being silent about it, either. i eventually told her i knew and that it made me uncomfortable that they had sex while i was at home. she told me to get over it at first, that i always got everything i asked for, so on and so forth.
after a while, and me continuously asking her not to have sex while i was home because i already walked in on her once, she told me that it was her house and that her friends couldn’t “believe the audacity [i] had asking her not to fuck while im home” and she.. hasn’t stopped. ive actually found her bondage gear recently.
(sidenote on larry: hes... really disgusting. he watched one of my friends take a shower while she was over, and when i told my mom that she said “well not everyone is perfect.”)
and then... the night that prompted me to start this post, which happened october 8th. she left me home alone for ~30hours (and i only saw her for 2 of those), which... i had already told her numerous times that i dont like to be home alone at night because it causes my delusions to act up and makes me very paranoid. on the third night she was gone, i texted her a handful of times asking how she was because i hadn’t seen her, and i missed her (a novel concept) and.. that was apparently the wrong thing to do.
she came home at 2am that night and started to ask me why i could never be home alone and making it way deeper than it actually needed to be. she called me a coward for my delusions, selfish, and told me that she didn’t think i was going to be a functioning human being. she told me that im faking my mental illnesses because i want an excuse to be scared (which ill get into later*) and refused to acknowledge the research i had done on these mental illnesses. at one point she was guilt tripping me, and i gave in and admitted it was my fault... and then she..? guilt tripped me? for that. she said that i was just “saying that to make [her] feel bad.” she told me that i was making up my mental illness symptoms by telling me that they’re.... “in [my] head” and that i cant be mentally ill because ive stood up for myself twice. (the only reason that i’ve stood up for myself is because the things that were happening were very hazardous to my health and i was close to killing myself)
i had been sleeping in her room because my air conditioning upstairs wasnt working and it was too hot to exist up there at all, and so i packed the items i brought down with me, and was moving to go upstairs. she forced me to stay downstairs because i was “running away from the conversation” (which ill also get into later**) and forced me to stay the night downstairs. after the conversation was said and done, she returned and told me “do you ever think your delusions and hallucinations are overactive imagination because of your ocd and you think of the worse possible scenario when you hear a noise?” which is...not how anything works.
the following morning, she was EXTREMELY petty and wouldnt let me leave her side since “i missed her so much!!” and continued to force me to spend time with her and refused to let me on my laptop or phone. she started to yell at me again (which i cant really remember what she said, but she called me selfish for.. wanting her around?)
BONUS CONTENT :) aka stuff that i wasnt able to put in to keep it chronological
my mom has always threatened to ground me because of crying (though she said she would “never ground me because it would ground [her] too”) and im basically... not allowed to feel anything but happy, because if i express any other emotion it always results in her yelling at me for some reason.
*she gladly admits that i inherited OCD from my dad (who had an extreme case, as well as almost my dad’s whole entire family) but refuses to admit that i also inherited psychosis from her. ive brought up that im pretty sure i have DPDR, but she also refuses to even learn what it is and tells me that im just faking it. she won’t get me help, and says she won’t.
**my mom walks away whenever she doesnt get her way in an argument. she has left me in the middle of a museum in another state (not without shouting “fuck you” at me from across the room first), in the middle of a parking lot for at least 5 minutes, walked out of my grandma’s house twice, and then walked away from me another time downtown (thankfully i was with a friend.)
she shits on literally anything i enjoy. we go to the movies, i show her shows, i talk about things i like and she always has to find something she hated about it. even when she cant find anything specific, she replies with “eh it was okay” and doesn't fake it to ever let her child enjoy something. i always feel bad immediately after. the most recent example i can think with this is seeing moana with her.
if anything Major Happens(tm) ill probably reblog this and add it on, but until then.................. yeah
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winedwords · 7 years
Text
Seven| Fade |Dunne
Title: Fade
Pairing; Past Trent Seven/Reader, Pete Dunne/Reader
Words; 2457
Summary; Now all I can do is say congratulations and fade into the background.
Warnings; Mildly NSFW. ANGST. Brief description of oral sex. Unhealthy coping methods. Minimal editing, because I will die like a boss. Drabble.
 A/N: repost from the old blog
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Why was I even here?
I had been standing alone outside the church for thirty minutes, trying to collect myself.
My hands were shaking and clammy. My head was filled with ghosts of another life. It felt like there was an iceberg in my stomach, chilling me to the bone. Every part of my body felt like it was filled with slowly drying cement.
It was going to start soon.
I thought I had put this all behind me. I thought I had left the feelings for him in my early twenties. We were ancient history, better off as friends he said. And maybe we were, but my feelings had apparently never died. They only went from being a roaring bonfire to a dull ember. I was too selfish to actually let him go, accepting the friendship he had offered as a pale substitute for what I wanted.
Then that delicate cream and ivory invitation had turned up in my mail, stuffed haphazardly between a Vogue magazine and my light bill.
And now five years later…
I was woken by the warmth of the sun on my face, the smell of brewing coffee, and the feel of his mouth on my core, beard scratching at the delicate flesh of my inner thighs. My back bowed involuntarily and my hands travelled down underneath the sheets to grasp at the long hair between my thighs. He chuckled, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure through me and my heels digging into the mattress.
“Trent…”
I was knocked out of recollections of lazy Sunday mornings past by a small silver flask being pressed into my hand.
“The ceremony starts in ten. Figured you might want some liquid courage before you go to your seat.”
God fucking bless Zack Sabre Jr.
I glanced gratefully at him as I took the flask and worked the cap off of the silver container. He looked sharp, the tailored suit of a groomsman fitting his long form perfectly. Without asking what mystery liquor was in the flask, I tilted my head back and took three hard pulls, the liquid searing my esophagus.
Whiskey.
God, I was turning into a regular American country song.
I was silent for another moment, savoring the almost unpleasant burn of the alcohol, and wiping my lipstick from the mouth of the flask.
“You’re a treasure Zack. I appreciate this.”
The lanky man’s face was soft, his eyes understanding. I frowned at the look, shaking my head. I handed him the flask back and turning on my heel.
“Don’t. Let’s just get this thing done.”
The eyes of our friends and the bride and groom’s families were like lasers as I walked in to the church. The chatter went from a dull roar to a murmur, the sound of my heels clicking against the stone floors echoing through the chapel as I took a seat in a pew towards the back. The mother of the bride had barely concealed her sneer at my appearance.
Momma Seven though… It was her eyes that were the hardest to meet. Even from my seat to the rear of the church, I could see the subtle quiver of her chin and the suspicious brightness of her eyes. She gave me a watery smile with a discreet nod and it took everything I had to force back the tears I could feel burning at the back of my eyes.
I didn’t know if I could do this.
“I’ve never seen my boy like this with anyone. You must be something special.”
I smiled, flushing from the roots of my hair to my chest. “You raised an excellent man Mrs. Seven, I’m just lucky that he chose to spend some time with me.”
The older woman leaned in close, the delicate scent of her perfume tickling my nose, her hand clasping mine.
“I look forward to the day you become my daughter.”
I was forcibly jarred from memories of the past by the music starting to announce the entrance of the bridal party.
I turned to face the bridal party a beat after everyone, the whiskey dulling my response time by just a hair. I was thankful that Zack had provided me with the whiskey before the ceremony because facing the faces of friends from both the present and the past before the love of my life’s wedding was going to be rough.
Scurll.
Nods exhanged.
Andrews.
More nodding.
Sabre.
A small smile was met with a weak one of my own.
Dunne.
A barely concealed snarl? Curious.
Bate.
His arched brows were met with a glower.
Then there he was.
Trent.
He was perfection in his tuxedo, his chest puffed out with pride as he began to walk down the aisle. The grin on his face was a mile wide and he was glowing as he looked over the gathered assembly of his family and friends. Then our eyes locked for just a second and I could feel my skin heat and the hair raise on the back of my neck before Trent continued down the aisle. It was the sight of his back to me that dispelled the warmth his look had inspired in me, leaving me cold and my stomach roiling.
“I love you (Y/N), I always will…”
The opening keys of Here Comes the Bride and we all stood. She was radiant in all white, the delicate veil pulled over her face, and my heart sunk at the stony look in her eyes as she saw me. She knew all about who I was and what I used to be. That it could have been me instead of her. That she might have been me, sitting in the pew.
And just as quick as the stoniness appeared, it disappeared. She was all grace and polish as she practically floated down the aisle, her arm hooked with that of her father.
“But I’m not in love with you anymore.”
I tuned the opening remarks of the priest out, staring unblinkingly at a spot just beyond where the bride and groom were now holding hands and staring lovingly at each other. If I were to glance to them, even for just a moment, I don’t know if I could keep it together.
“ If anyone feels this couple should not be united in Holy Matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Tension tore through the chapel. Some people not so discreetly turned their heads in my direction and I steeled my eyes, my lips pursed. The bride herself had turned her head ever so slightly in my direction and Pete had clenched his fists, his jaw tightening.
Time slowed.
I loved Trent. I loved him like a sailor loved the sea. I loved him like the sun loved the moon and the stars loved the sky. He was lazy Sundays spent in bed wrapped around each other. He was the dark, smoky nights in a pub, hunched over a beer with our thighs brushing against each other and hands clasped tightly together.
Trent was simultaneously this wild, passionate, all consuming love and steady, soft, comforting love. I respected him like one respects a force of nature and like one respects a healer.
A small, vocal part of me wanted to object loudly and vigorously. This was the little torch I still carried for him, five years later, that wanted to rage and riot and do everything in its power to convince Trent that he was making a mistake, that we still belonged together, that I wasn’t just a friend.
He’d made his choice.
And that choice wasn’t me.
I stayed silent, my eyes firmly on my shaking hands, and just as quickly as it came, the moment passed. The priest seemed to let out a breath of relief, before continuing on.
Pete’s heated eyes didn’t move from my form, the look on his face unreadable.
I owed Zack. The whiskey had been drunk on an empty stomach and the pleasant buzz in my veins had made a ceremony that should have left me broken and sobbing pass in a blur. I was still helpless to the way my breath hitched and my body seized when the priest announced them man and wife.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Trent, that sap, grabbed his new bride and dipped her into a deep, borderline inappropriate kiss.
He wasn’t mine anymore. He hadn’t been for a long time.
There had been a little bit of hope for that little candle I still carried for him. But now?
Trent Seven belonged to someone else.
Mamma Seven had come by the apartment I had shared with Trent before… everything fell apart.
I was just coming down the stairs, another box in my arms to load up into my little car. I’d seen her approaching and I tried to walk faster to avoid what was coming.
“(Y/N)?”
My shoulder shuddered, but I kept going.
For an older woman, she was fast and she had caught me by my elbow. I turned to look at her, my vision bleary from unshed tears.
“Oh sweetheart I am so sorry.”
It was when she wrapped me into a warm embrace that a wet sob wracked through my body.
“I told ‘im to not do it, y'know.”
I had been essentially hiding on the outskirts of the reception, sipping on my third Jack and ginger, waiting for an appropriate time to say my congratulations and goodbyes and leave. If I was going to be the most miserable person at this party, I was going to at least take advantage of the open bar. Pete, who had spoken was to my left, his expression inscrutable.
“Told him to not do what?”
I took a long pull from my drink, knowing exactly where this conversation was going to go and keeping my gaze away from his sharp face. If the younger man was going to bring up what should be ancient, buried history, I’d need something to make the dull the ache in my chest.
“I told ‘im not to send ya an invitation. Told ‘im it was fucked up.”
I snorted, shaking my head a little too long before sipping again at the near empty drink.
“We’re just friends, Peter. We’ve been just friends for a very, very long time.”
His laugh was condescending and harsh, head shaking. I glowered at him, as he took a sip of his own dark beverage. The smirk on his face made me want to hit him with something heavy.
“Yeah, darlin’ yer not foolin’ me. What ya feel towards Trent is the furthest thing from fuckin’ just friends.”
My knuckles were white from gripping the tumbler as hard as I was. I had to grit my teeth and employ every bit of willpower I had in my repertoire to keep from flinging the glass into his face. Pete’s smirk widened by just a fraction at my silence, leaning in much closer to me, his gray eyes darker than charcoal and almost predatory. Some primal portion of my psyche was very, very responsive to his body language and the way he was looking at me.
“If ya need it, ya can use me (Y/N). Ta get Trent out of your system. What he asked ya ta do was fucked and ya don’t deserve that. Ya can take it out on me. Ya might even enjoy it, I know I would.”
My cheeks filled with color at his words in a way that could be misconstrued as embarrassment or anger, but the way my thighs clenched involuntarily. I had been with other men since Trent, sure, but there was something about Pete…
“Put your money where your mouth is Peter.”
He looked triumphant as he stood, an arm proffered to me to bid our goodbyes to the bride and the groom.
I was guided by him to the table on the dais where the bride and groom were holding court over the reception with the bridal party.
“I’m gonna take off Trent. Congratulations.”
My smile was so much more confident than I actually felt, but the whiskey provided a false light to my eyes.
Trent’s face was soft and warm as he stood to hug me.
Fuck he even smelled the same as he did back then. The embrace was a long one, so much so that I could feel his bride shifting next to him.
“Thank you for coming, (Y/N). It really means a lot to me that you were here.”
I could feel my eyes going glassy and I had to blink rapidly to prevent them from filling.
“Anything for you Trent. I wish to you all the love and happiness in the world.”
His arms dropped away from around me, leaving me cold.
Pete’s jaw was tightened again, his eyes dark with something that most definitely was not the predatory lust from just moments earlier. He nodded his farewell to the bride and the groom as I spoke to the new Mrs. Seven.
“You looked beautiful. Treat him well would you?”
She nodded stiffly, her smile wooden and eyes sharp with distaste. Not that I could blame her.
Pete was practically glued to my side as we said our goodbyes to other friends. Mama Seven seized me into a firm hug and pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek.
“Take your happiness where you can find it, (Y/N). You’re allowed to be happy.”
We turned to leave.
I didn’t see the steely glare that Trent sent to Pete, who had only responded with a victorious baring of his teeth.
I didn’t see Trent’s clenched fists as I left with the younger man’s thick arm draped dangerously low across my hips. I didn’t see Mamma Seven place a hand on the newly married man’s arm, her look stern and fiery. I didn’t hear her murmured words.
“You don’t get to have that feeling anymore, Trent. You made the decision.”
I did catch Zack’s disappointed stare and sober me would spend entirely too long dissecting that look and the consequences of my decisions.
I was going to lose myself in Pete and I was going to leave Trent and everything I had ever felt for him here at the reception hall.
The cab ride back to Pete’s flat was spent in his lap, the kisses feverish and desperate, the windows fogging. The cabby had grumbled about horny kids and Pete had just barked back to “Drive, old man.” before returning his mouth to mine, a hand disappearing up the hem of my dress.
If that took just one night or multiple nights, Pete had made clear that he was game for however long I would have him.
Maybe… just maybe.
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She does not have a US license/SSN, but she has a valid license from India. Can my wife drive my car and will she get insurance in her current status/license?""
Can I drive under my parent's insurance?
I'm 18, have a license and my dad bought a car for me to drive. If my dad registers it all under his name(title and insurance) will I be able to drive it? I don't want to be added into the insurance, I just want to drive it all under my dad's name. I'm in California, can this be done? If I get pulled over, will the police not hassle me over it?""
Is buying insurance where i go to college ok?
I live in new york city where insurance is high as hell but i go to school where it is much cheaper. i also live on campus. am i allowed to buy insurance where i go to college? i spend alot more time at college than i do in the city anyways.
Need help with Car Insurance?
I am a 17 year old male in california, who just bought a 92 Buick Skylark and I need to no what would be my best bet when it comes to getting insurance, I would like cheap insurance, as cheap as I can get. I have shopped around and its not helping. PLEASE DONT SAY LOOK IT UP YOURSELF CAUSE I HAVE AND I AM ASKING FOR SOME HELP!!!""
Do anyone have an idea about how the insurance of 1992 mistubishi expo cost for 19 years old male?
Do anyone have an idea about how the insurance of 1992 mistubishi expo cost for 19 years old male?
Will going to Driver's Ed make our insurance rates go up?
My mom tells me she doesn't want me to go to Driver's Ed because once insurance sees there's another driver on our plan, they will make the rate go up, or something like that... Is this true? Btw, sorry if I misused the apostrophe s in Drivers""
Why do you have to have full coverage on certain cars?
I have only liability right now on a 2000 ford. I am trying to figure out how much my insurance will go up, and if I have to get full coverage or not. Also what is the longest you can have a car loan? I really would like a Nissan Murano maybe around 12,000-15,000 at the abs. maximum. What do you think my monthly payments would look like? Thank you for any advice.""
Need to find an insurance that will cover infertility treatments?
Please can anyone help me. I have AETNA as my insurance provider. But it will not cover any infertility treatments. I really want to have a baby. My clock is ticking 35 So I will appreciate any info. I can get. THANK YOU!
How much insurance would a 1977 Camaro be for a 16 year old?
My dream car has always been a Camaro. Recently me and my dad have been looking for project cars to fix up and stuff. We found a 1977 Camaro that only needs cosmetic work, so I've been asking him about it. He says the insurance would be around $5000 a year. We could get the at around $2500 dollars. The Camaro has a 350 V8 engine and a T350 transmission. I'm 16 right now but I turn 17 in 2 months. I've had my license for 10 months with no tickets or accidents. I've had 2 cars already, a 1997 Nissan Altima and a 1998 Chrysler Sebring (Which I pay about $90 a month for.) I am on my parents' insurance, but I still pay for the car I drive. I know I won't get a perfectly accurate amount without asking our Insurance providers, but is my dad right when he says it would be $5000 a year?""
Why is my car insurance so high?
why is my car insurance so high my cheapest quote is 4000 on my own i have a 1.1 peugeot 106 im nearly 20 years old and passed my driving test at the end of november 2010
What are good insurance companies for young drivers?
I've used comparison sites and the cheapest quote was 850, Aviva was 690 are there any other good companies that offer cheap insurance to young drivers? I do not want one of those box things. I'm 20, held my licence for 20months and have 1y no claims.""
Tail lights and coop's young driver insurance?
I live in the UK and have been getting decent quotes from cooperatives young driver insurance However if I tick a box on the online quote saying that I have modified the car from the manufacturers specification (but does not let me say what it is that I have changed, ie the taillights) it will not give me a quote. Should I contact them about this or will it be ok to say that I have not modified the car and if I were to have an accident which would damage the tail lights that they would only replace them with manufacture tail lights?""
Do you need insurance for a 50cc scooter in florida?
Do you need insurance for a 50cc scooter in florida?
Car insurance help please for under 3 years experience..?
I need to get car insurance, the company I was with wanted way, way too much money to renew my car insurance (even though I didnt have any driving problems whatsoever).. Wherever I go though, they keep saying theyre unable to insure me because I dont have 3 years of driving under my belt. HOW am I supposed to get 3 years experience if I cant afford the only car insurance company to accept me guts me dry on a monthly basis. Does anyone know a car insurance place that dont require 3 years? I tried allstate, req 3 years I tried statefarm, req 3 years I tried the general, wanted me to pay 600 a month (rediculous) I HAD unitrin which billed me 180 a month, for 1 person on my 2 person household. Im employed full time, 22, almost 23 year old female, who is financing a car and has her own apt, who got her license at 21. Anyone know or have advice? And no, I dont have parents to leech onto for 3 years.""
What's the average insurance premiun for a Taxi in the US?
What's the average insurance premiun for a Taxi in the US?
How much do you pay for your car insurance ? (UK)?
I am 19 with a VW polo 1.4 payin 140 a month
How's insurance for an old model Lexus SC300 or SC400 (1990-1995)?
I'm 17 and getting my first car. Im a good student. Ive picked out either a Lexus SC 300 or 400 around 1992ish. I like the car but I just want to know if insurance would be very costly for eiher of these, considering it is luxury. I know insurance for cars like the Nissan 300zx is really ridiculous. How would this insurance compare? And please, dont recommend other cars to me because I have already decided on one of these, just give me an idea of insurance costs. Thanks""
On average what is the cost of mobile home insurance in the state of Florida?
Im looking to purchase a mobile home and put it on 2.5 acres. on average how much is home owner insurance in the state of florida if its a newer manufactured home?
Does Amica raise your insurance rates after first speeding ticket?
I live and am licensed in MA but got a speeding ticket in NH. I believe NH and MA share information so it will be treated as if it happened in Massachusetts. I am on a family plan with Amica car insurance, does anyone know if they will raise my rates? It is my first traffic violation of any kind. Will I lose any discounts like safe driving discount? I heard Massachusetts has a law where the first speeding ticket does not add insurance points? Is this true? If it is true, can Amica still raise your rates if they want to? Thanks""
home building and contents insurance quotes
home building and contents insurance quotes
What companies offer mobile home insurance?
i live in ny. all the ones i've found don't do ny or won't insure us because of the age. it was made in 1979. the only one i could find was geico but they want an insane amount of documentation that i just can provide. like if the roof has been replaced and stuff. i know insurance on such an old home is pointless but i have to have it in the park where i live and moving it isn't an option.
Is Motorcycle insurance the same price as car insurance or is it cheaper?
I had a coupld of friends that have motorcycles and some that have cars. They don't pay for their own insurance but i wanted to know if by any chance if motorcycle insurance is cheaper then auto insurance. I know auto insurance these days are sky high. But since a motorcycle is a lot smaller, shouldn't insurance for it be cheaper for it?""
How much can I expect to get back from a written off car?
I wrote my peugeot 206 off last week the insurance are sending out a settlement figure as soon as they have valued it etc I was just wondering what sort of pay back you get im not expecting much but am hoping to get a new car with some of the insurance money the value of the car is about 2,500 before the crash.""
What is the best/cheapest car insurance for high risk drivers?
What is the best/cheapest car insurance for high risk drivers?
Will speeding convictions affect my car insurance?
I have to speeding convictions, the first one a went to a speed awareness workshop so i didnt recieve any points but on my second one i recieved 3 points on my license. Will this show on my insurance renewal and will it bump up my insurance rates? I have been driving for a year.""
Cheap Car Insurance for my first car?
My dad owns it but hes giving it to me technically he wants me to pay insurance and I want something cheap, the majority of insurances say im underage to be reliable for it. I'm 17, is there a cheap insurance for my little chevorlate cavalier car?""
Where do i find affordable health insurance for my dog?
I need health care insurance for my American Bull Dog
Does a car insurance company need to know the state in which the car will be used?
I am buying car insurance for a 21 year old child who will attend graduate school out of state. Primary address will still be with me. Car will be in my name; child/student will be listed as primary driver. Child/student will live in an apartment while at graduate school. Does the insurance company need to know in what state the student will be?
Help! I need health insurance by thursday?
I finally went to the doctor for my period( lasting for nearly a month now) Currently self-pay but wanted to know if I can get affordable insurance by my next Doctor visit. I need to get lab work done, which everyone tells me its a lot of money. And I have to visit a Gyno for an ultrasound which when I called I received a price I cant possibly afford right now.What I do know is that I can't afford to miss the appoint ments. I am concerned about my health. So if anyone have any suggestions or answers please let know.""
My car insurance is 6000 and im 17 can anybody help pleeeeeeeeese.?
Hi on average my car insurance is 6000. I got these from price comparison wesbites. I am trying to insure a 2002 1.2 litre Vauxhall Corsa, on Third Party Fire and Theft. I am going to do about 10000 miles a year. I live in Lozells Birmingham United Kingdom. Can anybody get my Insurance done for cheaper. I have shopped around so much, i even put my mum on as main driver but it only gets 500 off my insurance. Can anybody help me maybe anyone that work in car insurance.""
How many people committed life insurance fraud on 911?
How many people committed life insurance fraud on 911?
What will happen when the car dealer finds out I lapsed on my insurance?
I financed a car from an in-house (buy-here-pay-here) finance car dealer, about 2 months ago I lapsed on my insurance, and now the finance company is asking for proof of insurance. I also got into a car crash about 1 month ago, and its currently getting the damages fixed by my hook-up, but not drivable yet. My payments have been made on time every month, as well. So my questions are * What will happen when the car dealer finds out I lapsed on my insurance? * If they repo my car, can I get it back? if so, and how long do I have to get it back?""
Car insurance question?
I'm looking to buy a car from a dealer. I'm going to put it under my parents auto insurance policy, can I put one of them as the primary driver of the vehicle, since I am only a co-driver on the policy? I am planning to buy the car with cash, so in order to get my parents as primary drivers, would the title have to be in their name?""
Would my father's insurance go up if...?
If I were to buy a car under my name and insure it under my name, would my dad's insurance rates rise because I live at the same address?""
How i can get insurance on my brothers car?
How i can get insurance on my brothers car?
Why does this motorcycle insurance quote from progressive sound too good to be true?
I'm 17 a year old male; my 12 month progressive quote came up as $161 for motorcycle insurance. Why is it so inexpensive when everyone around me says it's going to be expensive!!! Did I just type something in wrong or what? I don't know if this helps, but I live in a rural town in Oregon(population: about 3000) and have had my drivers license for one year and four months. I'm taking the motorcycle safety course at the end of August, and the bike I entered into progressive is a 1984 VF500F Honda Interceptor. I hope it's only $161/yr because that's a fraction of what I pay for car insurance!!!! XD""
How much will my car insurance go up if I make a claim?
I crashed into someone and my bonnet is crumpled up, it will only cost 100 to repair, so is it worth getting insurance involved? How much will my insurance go up if I do make a claim? (The other person involved is my neighbour and their car wasn't damaged so they are not bothered either way.) My car insurance is currently 1000 per year""
Car insurance price?
any 17 year old drivers (males) wanna tell me the price of your car insurance? and the car you own? Cheers!
Do I need SR22 insurance after a DWI 1st offense if my license is not suspended in the state of Louisiana?
About a year ago, I received my first DWI. I plead guilty under Article 894, and then about 3-4 months later, I contacted the DMV here in Louisiana, and they stated my license has not been suspended, and never was. Now, I am trying to get insurance on my truck I just bought, and the insurance company is telling me i have to get SR22 insurance. I thought SR22 insurance was needed when either your license was suspended previously, or you were forced to get a hardship license? I have never had to do either, and I don't understand why they are requesting me to get the SR22 insurance. The rates are already high enough with the DWI on my record, and the SR22 will be adding a good bit more. Just curious if someone can explain this to me about Louisiana and insurance which is required of me. I do still have a valid Class A CDL, not suspended, and never had to get a hardship license.""
Help with car insurance please?
Hello, I Live in the UK, I am 22 years old and I have a Kia picanto which is my everyday car. My girlfriend is the main driver and owner and I am a named driver on the policy. I have a Subaru Impreza which I want to use at weekends etc and only little use. Is there any sort of Insurance for this? Its a 1998 plate so don't think I qualify for classic cover. Basically I will do about 500 miles a year in the Subaru and can't afford the 4000 for the year. I know a lot of people will say just sell it etc etc. But I love the car and owned for the last year and do not want to sell. I just want a little help please. With the cost of petrol etc I no longer use the Subaru as everyday use as it gets me about 11 MPG and the Kia about 53 MPG and can't afford two full price premiums. So is there any temp weekend cover for the year or small use/classic kind of thing? Any advice will be very much appreciated. Kind Regards""
What is the most affordable health insurance in Los Angeles?
I am trying to find health insurance as a 35 yr old male. I have never had insurance before and don't have any illnesses. What is the most cost effective health insurance that will cover me and will allow me to go get a tune up quickly?
""Premium financed insurance, any risks?
What scenarios can bank repo the collaterals in premium financed insurance? It seems too good to be true.
Why do insurance take so long to settle a claim Both partys have the same insureance?
My daughter was hit by a student whos is a policeman with schools the student was speeding neither one was given a ticket We hve the same insurance
How do speeding tickets affect your insurance?
i received a 81 dollar ticket and lost 2 points last friday. im 16 and i was driving my moms car. the car is in her name and so is the insurance so since I got the ticket how will it affect my mom's insurance? i am not on the insurance nor on the title for the car.
Affordable health insurance?
I'm nineteen years old and I don't have health insurance. I'm going to be a college student in the fall. I was wondering if anyone had any idea how I could find good, affordable health insurance? Also some help as to how the whole co-pay thing works would help out, too. I used to have a certain health insurance for people from low-income families but they just cut mine off so I need to get some. Thanks in advance!""
home building and contents insurance quotes
home building and contents insurance quotes
Are private pilots required to buy insurance for their planes?
Are private pilots required to buy insurance for their planes?
Insurance on a 1998 Toyota Camry 16 y/old about to be 17?
Ok so i need your help. I am 16 years old and about to be 17 im going back to the u.s. and have a old 1998 toyota camry waiting for me (btw yuck) ok and my parents said to drive this until my insurance lowers and theyll get me a new car by graduation which is next june. So my question is how much do you think my insurance will be? Its a fairly old car and not in a good condition and i have had 1 accident which was pretty big but not completly my fault like 60%
Anyone know of a good affordable health insurance plan for a 32yr single male who visits the doctor often?
Anyone know of a good affordable health insurance plan for a 32yr single male who visits the doctor often?
** How much does car insurance cost for a 16-year-old in California?
Grr. I REALLY need to drive inorder to get home after sports, but my dad says that insurance costs too much... and I'm not about to walk home or take the bus when it's late. There are so many weird people and molesters out there. ='(""
Will insurance cover a salvage car?
I need to know cuz im buying a car. what insurance company will cover it. and will it be expensive??
Is athem blue cross a good insurance?
Is it really a good insurance?
Whats the cheapest insurance i can get for a 2006 or 2008 suzuki gsxr 600?
Whats the cheapest insurance i can get for a 2006 or 2008 suzuki gsxr 600?
Help! I need auto insurance fast?
I'm 23 years old and need auto insurance immediately. I live in California and would prefer to have nationwide coverage. I am single, no kids. I'm really considering liability or something low-end because insurance here is a lot more than what I was paying in Pennsylvania. I am also a full-time student and heard that might get me a discount with some agencies. Any advice?""
Does anyone know the approximate cost of insurance for an 06 Golf GTI for a 16 year old driver in illinois?
Does anyone know the approximate cost of insurance for an 06 Golf GTI for a 16 year old driver in illinois?
What would insurance on a 2001 Mustang GT be in Michigan?
I'm deciding between a Mustang GT and any V8 Ford pickup. The mpg on the Mustang will be probably at least 5 miles per gallon better than the pickup, but I'm sure insurance will be more. I want to know which one would be cheaper to own in the long run. I plan on driving about 40 miles per day for work and this would be my first car. I am in highschool so the insurance will be even higher than if it were for an adult.""
""What is the cheapest car insurance place in the Farmington, New Mexico area?""
I've tried Farmers insurance and Geico. Both places quoted around $240-$280 every 6 months (or monthly payments). I did an online quote at Progressive and got a quote for around $180.00 (which was much cheaper). But I don't know if I filled the information out right? Oh btw, I'm trying to insure my 1995 Ford F-150 pickup. The insurance seems much more expensive on this vehicle than with other cars in my family.""
How does progressive auto insurance work?
i have never bought insurance for myself, i am on my moms insurance. i want to get my own insurance and when i did a qoute in the progressive site it said like 56.02 for a 6 month policy but then i see it says 178.54 a month....sooo....i dont get how that works....so if you have progressive do you like it? and this is a stupid question but are you able to buy it online and it just automaticaly starts covering your car? because i see they have a buy online button and then im assuming they can take monthly payments from your card or something. basically all information you can give me please.""
NCAP rating effect on car insurance.?
I'm looking to buy a car and noticed that some of the models I favour, such as Ford Puma; Vauxhall Tigra, have not been crash tested by NCAP. Does a car which has not been crash tested by NCAP necessarily attract higher insurance premiums?""
Health Insurance For Full Time College Students?
I overheard another student in class talking about how she gets free health insurance coverage because she is a full time student? Has anyone else heard of any programs or companies that do that? if so can someone give me some links to the sites of those companies? (Because since im no longer in the class with the girl, i cant get it from her)""
How much would I pay for insurance?
I am a 17 going to be 18 on October next year I am going to go and study in FL and I wanted to know about cars would buying a new one be better than an old one? how much would I pay for insurance with either new or old? I want to know exact prices to compare if it would be better to buy a new car or a used one? How much would I pay per month on the insurance?
Can you receive medicaid if your employer offers insurance at an unaffordable rate for a low income family?
My employer offers health insurance but it is not affordable compared to my income. Can I receive Medicaid and opt out of their insurance until my wages increase? It is a financial hardship to pay $115 every 2 weeks when I make less than $12/hr and a single parent of 2 children. I cannot find information on this anywhere.....
Aircraft insurance rates with DUI/DWI charge?
If one is a partner in a small aircraft, what effect does a potential DUI/DWI have on aircraft insurance rates?""
What are some car insurance companys?
would love to know ones that are cheap???
How much do you pay per month for your car insurance and gas?
How much do you pay per month for your car insurance and gas?
How much does insurance go up from a ticket?
got a failure to yield on a turn ticket on intermediate license first ticket wa state, I know it depends on a lot of things but I just want an idea, does it double? 10 percent? age 17 thanks""
Can someone please explain what these new insurance laws are?
are we required to have insurance? do all companies have to offer insurance now? What percentage do companies have to pay for insurance? Thanks
Infiniti g35 insurance rate for a 19 year old?
Infiniti g35 insurance rate for a 19 year old?
What would auto Insurance cost me?
I am 16, live in Toronto. I am a male, and none of my parents have insurance so I will be on my own. I have an 88 avg in school. And I will look for a car with low insurance prices and that is safe.""
Got into a car accident - how much will my premium increase if I go through insurance?
My friend says at most it could be $1000-2000 damage - but I'm trying to get the bare minimum fixed if they'll let me do that at their recommended shop...insurance company is nationwide...
How much will insurance be for the smart car that will be released in 2008 in the usa?
will there be a big from the other cars?
home building and contents insurance quotes
home building and contents insurance quotes
Where Can I get Cheap Car Insurance?
I am currently a full time student and I am trying to find Car insurance that won't cost me an arm and a leg. The cheapest quote i have gotten is 2052 (full license) yet im certain i could get it cheaper... I am looking to get a Citroen Saxo, 3 door, as they are meant to be a good first car and cheaper insurance, yet i don't call that cheap! Direct line has put their prices for young drivers up to a minimum of 3000 and the car is only worth 850! I will be the main driver of the car, if not the only driver and as my parents have polices with companies that won't put me on as a named driver I'm screwed. Im 17 year old boy and can't really afford to pay that much.... Anyone know where i can get a reasonable quote from. I expect it to be high but that much - wow Best quote came from Quinn direct""
Do you have health insurance?
If so, through your employer or did you have to purchase? Me? Unfortunately I had to cancel mine when the payment amount far surpassed the amount of my MORTGAGE payment. I'm hoping to have it through my employer very soon...and crossing my fingers until then.""
Best health insurance for a 63 year old male?
My dad retired at 62 and a half... to make a long story short, he was promised continuing health insurance from his employer but now they are saying they will only be secondary- meaning they only pay if he buys a primary. What would be a good option for health insurance for him? Unfortunately, he is a smoker and had a stroke... he is 63 and a half right now.""
Where can students get cheap car insurance from people who don't automatically make you out to be boy racers?
Where can students get cheap car insurance from people who don't automatically make you out to be boy racers?
Insurance and child support?
If my husband provides insurance through his work to his daughter and is also paying child support on her is he going to be responsible for the co-pay everytime she goes to the doctor? His daughter also has a secondary insurance through the state that her mom collects we were just wondering if the secondary insurance would pay or who would be responsible. The mother or him???
Insurance on my own car compared to my parents?
Hey all, Im interested in buying a car and my parents are quite objectionable to it. Id say i would pay for the car and the difference in insurance but they say i dont have the money to do so. I know that my being insured on one of their cars costs a lot less than being insured on my own car but i really dont know the difference. Obviously it depends on the type of car and other factors but approximately how much is the difference. I could fill out the quote stuff but i would have to fill it out twice and i really dont feel like being bombarded by emails and what not. Also, I am 17 years old and have had my license for over a year without a single violation. If it really matters, i have about 4500 saved up for now. I made a little over 1100 in the past month and should be getting about 700 or so a month from my job. I really dont spend any money on anything else. Is insurance on my own car really that expensive?""
I NEED A CHEAP AUTO INSURANCE ONTARIO?
I have my g2, i am 19 years old, and i am trying to find a cheap insurance to quote me on a cheap car....its only a 99 cavalier 4 door. I have done a lot of online quotes and i have basically gotten the same quote around $430. I would like a quote more around the $200 range!! Help! Anyone know of any cheap auto insurances?? Thanks!! Carley.xo""
Car insurance - Can anyone help?
We have company cars and Ive just told my manager that I would rather go in my car than the company car in this weather. She has just told me that its okay if I use my car because if I did have an accident, the company would claim on their insurance. How true is this? As she has lied to me before so i dont trust her. She told me that i could claim expenses and then once i put the form in, she said i couldnt so anything she says i dont believe.""
Can I take off car insurance if my car has been repoed?
My car has been repoed due to lack of payments and thus they repoed the car. They are even already putting it back on sale. Can I take off the car insurance, then?""
Whats the best insurance?
Im still on my dads insurance till I'm 21, but it wont cover prenatal care for his children unless its his spouse having his baby.... which is like most insurance... so what is the best insurance for me to use? I need opinions.... THANKS A BUNCH!""
Insurance cost?
Im a 16 year old male. Just got into wreck last thursday, not my fault. insurance stayed same. before wreck it dropped $20. I only have liabilty right now. Was 80 now it is 60. My car was a 1995 eclipe which i bought for $3500 and i paid $480 for 6 months. Now if i had that car i'd pay, $360. How much would it cost for6 months to buy a $7,000-$10,000 car. State farm is my carrier. And I do have experience. Make good grades and did steer clear""
Why is insurance higher on sports cars?
I pay high insurance on my camero.But some of these non-sport cars seem to drive faster than me. But I do drive the speed limits.Do you think its fair I pay higher?
How much is car insurance for a 17 year old boy?
How much is car insurance for a 17 year old boy?
In New York: Best health insurance on the cheap?
This information is for my stepdaughter and her family. After long term unemployment her husband recently went back to work as a trucker. He might bring home around $500 per week. They presently have no health insurance, although she said a New York State program would cover her two younger children. This leaves her and husband uninsured because his new job has no health coverage. Somehow she found a company willing to insure them for around $200+ a month. What this insurance covers I do not know. (By the premiums, I don't think much) The problem is they don't have much more than the $200+ to pay per month. Can someone tell me how to find(in New York) legitimate insurance companies with affordable cost? Also how can I educate myself on health insurance, the details, so that I can advise them correctly? They're in their late 30s and in reasonably in good health. Any an all advice greatly appreciated Tony""
Where can i get the cheapest motorbike insurance?
Hello, am currently 16 but very soon will be 17 and i am going to get my full motorbike license so i can rid a 125cc motorbike. I have been looking around for insurance quotes and so far all have been very expensive even third party only at around 900. The motorbike i want to get is a yamaha r125 yzf and am wondering if any of you have some advice?""
Provisional insurance for young driver?
Looking to get insured on my mums car but my mums insurance company wont put me on her insurance,,,, could i get insured by a company such as provisional marmalade? Any other suggestions?""
UK - Insurance for Teenagers?
Hello, Does anyone know where newly qualified drivers can take advantage of low insurance prices. I have tried a few of the price comparison sites, but find that the price of the insurance cover is more than the car. If I purchased a car for about 800, how much should the insurance be. What is the cheapest way of buying it. Is it better to Telephone a local Broker ? Or online.""
Who offers cheapest auto insurance in ontario canada?
Please suggest the cheapest auto insurance company in Ontatio, Canada.""
Where can i get the cheapest car insurance?
i'm 22 i've only had my driving licence for 3 weeks, and i bought a corsa energy 1000cc's the price i get quoted is 800+ is that right? or is there anywhere you think i can get it cheaper?""
""Got a speeding ticket in Oregon, can I go to traffic school so my insurance company will not raise my policy?""
I know in California you can go to traffic school once every 18 month and the insurance company will not raise your rates, is that the same for Oregon, and how do I go about it?""
Which would be less insurance wise?
I'm trying to figure out what car i want for my 16th birthday.. I've absolutely fell in love with the subaru wrx hatchback. the only thing im worried about is the fact that the insurance rates Might be high. i also like the Genesis Coupe 2.0t and i was wondering which would be more expensive insurance wise. Also what you think about them being first vehicles. and please no<, you should get a POS for a first vehicle... Thanks in advance!! The insurance company is usaa and nothing on the record""
Will my insurance be high?
I'm 16, turning 17 soon. I have strait A's so I get the driver discount and plus my insurance company has a program you can do for an extra 15% off which my mom is going to make me do. I'm a girl so I know my insurance will be less then a boys.. But If I got my own car ( years around 2000-2009) will my insurebce be extremely high?""
""If I work for an insurance company, do I get free/discounted insurance premiums from them?""
I'm paying nearly 2400 at the moment, if I went and worked at an insurance company do you think I could blag a bit of cheap insurance? (ENGLAND)""
Why is car insurance exhorbitant for 17 year olds and migrant workers run round with insurance thats cheaper?
Why is car insurance exhorbitant for 17 year olds and migrant workers run round with insurance thats cheaper?
""Health Insurance, Medical Insurance, and Individual Health ...?
United Health One health insurance plans for individuals and families. http://unblockyoutube.cn/health-insurance.html
home building and contents insurance quotes
home building and contents insurance quotes
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/honda-city-insurance-renewal-austin-kelly/"
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nomorekindness · 6 years
Text
The Hero Complex
Lets talk about heroes. Not real life heroes, I’m far too pessimistic to believe those exist. No lets talk about the fantasy heroes. The ones we watch in movies or TV shows, we read about in comics and books. I HATE THEM. Not them necessarily, but the way they are written. This “moral compass” they have is infuriating. 
Let’s talk MCU, in particular SHEILD. First of all just in case someone randomly finds this blog and reads it (HAHAHA) Spoilers. 
So this newest season of SHIELD YoYo recently slit bad girl Ruby’s throat after she took some gravitonium and was all evil and wanting to be called the “Destroyer of Worlds”. And Miss up her own ass Daisy Johnson (can we all admit how stupid her name is and call her Skye again?) is being such a judgemental bitch about it. Oh my god and Mac... you know the guy who has the shotgun with an ax built on to it... yeah he’s all “thats not what we do here”. Right he just needed some extra protection while he was chopping down a tree, you know in case of wolves. 
Lets just not. FIRST OF ALL the SHIELD team just recently got back from the future where someone called the Destroyer of Worlds (they thought it was Daisy) literally destroyed the world. This world. And the few remaining humans were all enslaved by an alien race. Sounds like fun right? Oh wait no, no it does not. While in the future YoYo meets her future self, who has been locked up for who knows how long, who has lived through her own death more times then she's willing to talk about and oh yeah who is also missing both her arms.  So when the team gets back to present time, they are all over this whole NOT destroying the world thing and they start trying to prevent it. Well here comes Ruby. A girl raised inside a secret Hydra facility who apparently has access to YouTube because her makeup is way too Kardashian for her to have picked that up in her bunker bedroom. She was basically bred to become this Destroyer of Worlds chick and she's all bad ass or whatever. Personally I think she's just an annoying little brat that needs some serious therapy. 
Well Ruby is a real bitch and like day one CHOPS BOTH OF YOYO’S ARMS OFF. So pretty much right off the bat YoYo is like “shit future me was right we all gonna die”. Cut to later when Ruby gets some gravitonium in her and she's definitely moving towards the end goal of destroying the world... so YoYo comes in and is having none of it and straight up cuts the bitches throat. BOOM YES GO YOYO!! Except wait... nope everyone is all fuckered up about it because Miss Up Her Ass is like “I was bringing her down, I was going to save her” sorry stupid fuck says what? Lets take some inventory here. Future world GONE because the Destroyer of Worlds rips it apart, killing MILLIONS. Present time said destroyer is a self involved bratty teenager that cuts off another persons arms without even a thought, then spends the next couple weeks plotting the death of MILLIONS and you think you were going to talk her down?
Oh and lets back up here. WHY IS IT THAT ALL HEROES ARE AGAINST KILLING THE BIG BAD GUYS BUT HAVE NO PROBLEM MAIMING AND KILLING ALL THE BAD GUYS LACKEYS? Honestly! Am I the only one here wondering WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? I mean lets be honest the lackeys probably don’t even really know what they are doing there. They needed a job and yeah maybe they might want to rethink their life choices but they deserve the right to be given a chance too, and yet here comes said hero pummeling through all the lackeys only to get to the big bad and be like “hey dude, its cool I know you are just hungry. Here have a snickers and stop trying to kill everyone and then we can all be friends” 
I seriously want YoYo to just look at Daisy and be like “you realize you have probably killed dozens of bad guy lackeys right? Or at least maimed them to a point that they will never live a normal life again, where medical bills will cripple their families until they break” (cause you know thats better). But cool at least the big bad, the one that was actually calling the shots and made all the plans, at least they get a chance. 
COME ON WRITERS! Are you honestly telling me that if Daisy and Mac were sitting in a room with Hitler and they had a gun they wouldn't take the shot. Are you telling me they would just try to talk him into becoming a good person. “Adolf man, whats up? Why are you killing all these people? I know its been a rough life and maybe you just need someone to believe in you, someone to give you a chance. Here we are (insert big hug here)” Then pardon him for millions of deaths and make him a part of the team! One big happy family!
NOPE! They would grab that gun, shoot him right between the eyes and sleep like little angelic benadryl filled babies!  And yeah sure, some bad guys can be made into good guys. Scarlet Witch for example. She was pretty pissed at Stark, blamed him for her parents deaths and making her and Quicksilver scared for a few days. I mean clearly misplaced anger, but did she straight up murder people? Like did she just go around taking people out for funsies and then plotting to destroy the whole world? Yes there are redeemable baddies, but there are also some that you just kill. You don’t try to understand them or reason with them, you kill them and move on. 
I wonder if the Avengers plan on having a nice sit down with Thanos (I mean the ones that are left anyway) “Hey Thanos, I know your planet was destroyed, all your people suffered, all because you guys were kinda selfish and they didn't listen. But look we are not your people. We have the capacity to change. Look at us with our hybrid cars and composting. We got this man, give us a chance.” 
“Steve (cause inevitably it would be Cap that would chat with Thanos) you're right. I never thought about it like that. Ok Im cool, I’ll chill”
“Thanks buddy, now why don’t you go ahead and bring all our other friends back so we can have a super cool slumber party”
“Oh yeah no I cant, my bad, that shit was permanent. Not even going back in time can fix that”
“Well shucks, at least we tried. Shawarma?”
End Credit. THANOS WILL RETURN IN AVENGERS 5 - THE NEW GUY
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herpaderpaman-blog · 7 years
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August 22nd 2017 Another shitty day. Feeling terrible after drinking half a bottle of tequila last night. Did some stupid things that i already regret. Miniscule but still wrong. What the fuck am I doing with my life.
I feel gross.And sad.
August 23rd 2017 Today is a little better. Didn’t wake up sad. Kind of just sitting at work feeling whatever.  I need to stop drinking.
Still kind of upset about the usual shit, but its not effecting me as much today.
Lookin forward to mcgregor fight on saturday and also GoT finale.
Heres to pretending everything is okay
August 24th 2017 Wish I won the powerball. Still want pizza. And outback.
Spent the whole morning thinking about what i’d do if I won that 270 million.
Fuck man.
Feeling kind of eh today she asked me to come upstate saturday to watch the mcgregor fight…..no thanks.
August 25th 2017 Another day of work. Woke up feeling alright i guess. (alright in the context of my life as of right now) aka still fucking terrible.  I just wanna be fuckin 16/17/18/19 again man. I hated life then too, but ya know it was a whole lot better than it is now and I sure as shit took that for granted. What was I thinking? I had it so easy. I had a good life. All my friends were around, still hung out. I was still in shape and had a nice fuckin body, unlike now. Did whatever I wanted for the most part. Waaaay more social, waaaaay less things to make me depressed. Didn’t have to deal with no fuckin brain injuries or fuckin bills, or fucking cheating girlfriends, or dying grandparents, or dying animals. It was all so good. And I was just a miserable bitch.
I guess the same thing can be said about me now. But who knows, in my opinion 2017 has been the worst year of my life, although I did say the same about 16 (usually every year as life goes on gets worse) But for sure 2017 is the worst shit imaginable. Everything happened at once.
- Got cheated on after being with someone for 5 years
- Grandfather dying
- Kicked out of childhood home/hometown
- Got fat as fuck
- Got unhealthy as fuck
- My kitties are dying
- Getting older and older everyday.
I miss the days of walking around parks and shit with my friends, just worryin about how to get the next gram of bud or the next pack of cigs, that was the biggest issues in our lives. fuckin pathetic to be honest. I never thought it would turn out like this for me though.
I gotta stop listening to A day to remember. Homesick just makes me want to die. I just wish I could go back to those years and do it all over and all different. I miss it so much.
But tomorrow at least I get to go watch the McGregor fight with my friends. I guess that’ll be good.
AUGUST 29TH 2017 Totally forgot about this over the last few days.
Shit went the fuck down this weekend. Nothing good. Way to drunk. At least I managed to stop drinking now. Haven’t really had any desire for it in the last couple of days.
Sunday(the 27th) I felt like fucking shit. Lost my keys, had to drive to new windsor with edgar. Felt like shit again, cried inside all day. Watched GoT finale. Was pretty good.
Monday the 28th, was shitty. Spent all day thinking about my sickness. Throat hurt, avoided going to the hospital to see gma
Today is going to eat dick simply because of these stupid fucking cunts coming over my house. It really pisses me the fuck off I have to see this stupid cunty realtor dude again. So fucking annoying. They better hurry up and get the fuck out and I swear to god if they’re late ill fucking tell them to fuck off. I dont even care anymore.
Think im just gonna stop talking to everyone. Should just delete my snapchat to be honest. Rid my life of it. Or at least block people. No point in it anymore. I need to  just get my life together somehow. I dunno how but I need to stop feeling like this.
Just want it to be tomorrow at this point.
August 30th 2017 Tired. High. Tired some more.
Dont wanan work, just wanna eat something. I wish I could work from home, i’d be so much more productive.
Feeling, “whatever” today, but Its alright I guess.
Labor day weekend, might ask to work from home Tuesday
What are the things that make me sad?
Moving
-Leaving my “childhood” “home”
-Living in long island…
-Kitties :( shitty and annabelle
Papa & Nana dying
Girlfriend cheating
Have nobody
Unhealthy & fat
Wasted 5 yrs of my life
September 3rd 2017 It’s a pain in the ass to remember this shit during the weekends.
Friday I got to work from home, was a decent day i guess. Didnt do much. Started drinking again.
Saturday, bought a new chair, argued with myself about an i7 7700, didnt end up buying it.
Today’s sunday, I woke up had to go to my uncles for the dog. Saw papa. Hes fucked up. Drove around for a little was pretty sad. Thought about you know who and what she did to me. Thopught about living in long island.
Right now im drunk, its 8:22 and Im watching sellout sunday. I’m feeling okay cause I’m drunk.
September 4th 2017 Woke up today, almost bought that i7. Decided not to.
Feeling the usual, don’t wanna work tomorrow, dont wanna take FD test. Whatever. I want more money.
Drunk rn, 4th night of drinking in a row. Should stop after this.
September 5th Another day of work. Im hungry, horny, and tired. I want bacon on a roll right now. Not going to happen though.
Its tuesday. I just want food.
Septemer 6th 2017 Found out my favorite person has cancer. Yesterday. Another wonderful thing in my life.
I wonder how I will feel looking back on this far from now, if i even can, if im not already dead.
Such a shitty time in my life man. Probably the most crucial as well. My life could even go further to shit or I could rebound somehow, even though I dont really see it in me. Worst part is the worst shit hasnt even happened yet. It’s all just oncoming slowly and dreadfully.
Despite the problems today was okay, was gonna go see nana but she said not to, got away with lying about the fd shit. Dad wants me to be a volly or ems. No thank tyou. To much of a pussy.
September 8th 2017 Yesterday wasnt that bad. Until I shit blood.
Yup. Drank and then basically as soon as I got drunk, and pooped, there was blood. A lot of blood.
So now I have that to think about. Just another thing.
September 9th 2017 Woke up at 1 30, went out and drove around for a little. Got alcohol and outback. Might go see IT tonight. Haven’t done anything really productive at all.
Havent pooped blood again, starting to think it was from the margies.
Going to a fire tonight
September 10th 2017 So mom gave me shit today because apparently its “GRANDPARENTS DAY” And im “selfish” because I dont wanna see nana today aka when my crazy psychotic cunt of a mother wants me to.
I fucking am so sick of that bullshit, I cant wait to tell that woman to fuck off. Honestly, it will be one of the greatest days in my life when I can speak my mind to that woman. I am waiting for the day, she says some stupid fuckin retarded bullshit like today, so I can fucking fuck her with logic. But for now I cant.
Last night spent a shit ton of money. Was alright though. Probably wasn’t worth. But whatever. Today, woke up, got bacon, came home, went to brandons, came home got hibachi rice shit, drank, watching cowboys and giants, and soda’s hurricane stream. Tomorrow is another day of work. Not looking forward to Friday cause I have to wake up at 6am and go to the city.
September 12th 2017 Forgot about this shit yesterday. Woke up felt like poo so I worked from home yesterday. Didn’t drink which is good. Played video games all day long.
Today, back at work, watching 9/11 shit. My stomach is fucking dying. Im soooooooo hungry. Shit sucks ass.
September 13th 2017 Hungry as fuck. I really wanna have sex. I just want my penis fully engulfed in a soaking wet puss.
Thats what happens when you dont have sex for 5-6 months I guess.
Cant wait for that shit.
But i prob should go to the doctor.
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Never again will i ever never be me
All my post were about a year or two into the relationship. You can see that I was insecure and unsure how to really take his actions was i wrong to think a certain way was I closed minded because I had never been in a relationship before this. I dont remember it being that harsh in the beggining and maybe thats because it got worse. I pretty much lived with him I never went home. We did everything together and I loved him so much and I thought he loved me and maybe he thought so to but it was a lie. Little things i did would piss him off to the point where he would ignore me completely. He started calling me stupid and useless. Sometimes he would ignore me for days. The worst part is he would play on my insecurities he would make me feel like I was just screwing up all the time when in reality it just wasnt the way he wanted it done. I tried to tell him how i felt but he said it didnt matter that the point was i had made him mad and i had to make it up to him but the way he wanted me to would always change to the point where I felt like i was literally jumping through hoops as he whipped insult after insult at me. If i got mad he would become angry, if i didnt console him and get over my anger by myself at the same time he would threaten to leave. He kept putting everything on me to the point where i truly believed everything was my fault. He became unemployed i started paying for electricity and bills, food...etc. He started talking to a girl and when i got insecure he made me feel worse by saying i didnt trust him that i wouldnt let him have friends. So i let him talk to her even though my instincts told me he liked her and she liked him and one day when i went to work he fucked her that day i felt something was up the shower had been ran it made me feel suspicious then he wouldnt let me touch him saying he had masturbated and his dick was raw...i even had a nightmare where he fucked her and i walked in on them and he consoled me reasurring me that he wasnt intrested in her do left it and he continued to talk to her. He tried to break up with me and broke down and told me and i forgave him I stayed with him...so stupid really. I lost more money in the place we were staying and then due to complications and an eviction notice moved in with my parents. For a while things were great we hardly argued and he was tolerant of any mistake i made just like i was to him as usual. Then he started to ignore me became frustrated at the tiny things people shrug their shoulders at. Expected me to sweep him off his feet everytime he became upset while he hypocritically shoved off my own feelings. I was all about him to the point of even though i lived with my parents i hardly saw them. I spent all my money on him I took him anywhere he wanted to go i cooked when he worked loved on him while he played video games it was never enough. He always said I never showed enough effort. When ever i tried to tell my side of an arguement he called it an excuse and a waste of time. Soon I had to change and he insisted i had to...he never looked in the mirror never wanted to hear my problems with him or things he did wrong only i had to change for him. He would belittle me to try to get me to change ignore me to teach me a lesson and at a few times used the chick he fucked to get inside my head and prey upon my insecurities. I tried to break up he came back and i still loved him. He tried to humiliate me in front of my family which outraged them and for awhile due to them lecturing him we were ok but apparently he wasnt satisfied. He just wanted to appease my parents he still wanted me to change and still refused to think about how he was treating me. I was walking on glass i had lost my confidence i just didnt want to make him angry mu goal everyday was just to have a good one and i never succeded once. Break and egg wrong, look at him a certain way, not apologize correctly there was always something. It got to the point where he admitted he was trying to fix me like i was broken...still i showed no effort in his eyes, and wasting time became his biggest pet peeve. Especially when it came to me trying to explain myself instead of making it up to him in the exact way he wanted me to. He tried texting the girl he fucked just nonchalantly and i became upset but he couldnt wrap his head around why why i wouldnt want him talking to the girl he had stabbed me in the back with. Made me feel bad like i should trust him and be ok with it that i was being closed minded. He didnt understand or didnt care. By now hed had a job amd had quit again he lasted almost two months then i was taking care of him againwhich i didnt mind i loved him. We went camping i was extremely excited it was a family tradition and i had been wanting to experience with him. Worst mistake of my relationship. He asked for a cig then because i dont like people smoking cigs he tried to love on me and didnt hear me when i said i loved him back. When he came back he wouldnt talk to me i cried and vegetated for almost the whole day. When i found out why he was being that way i tried to explain myself thinking if he knew he just hadnt heard me then he would get over it like i normal person...no he didnt believe me as tho i was some spiteful bitch bent on upsetting him and he didnt care excuses were a waste of time i had to make him feel better in the middle of the woods i didnt know what to do. He stayed mad then threatened to walk home if i didnt take him...like i was going to let him walk i had to tell my family we were leaving early after hardly spending anytime with them due to our fight...which to me was like saying fuck you to my entire family. I yelled at him the entire way home but he got what he wanted. He continued to be angry at me belittle me ignore me walk away from me and sometimes he would even mock my crying even when we went out with my mother something would go wrong and wed have a terrible time. I slowly became more and more frustrated and the onesidedness of it all...but i loved him. To him i just started to waste more time explaining things when i should be making him feel better. One day he made lentils and he wanted chips to dip and i didnt and emphasized that fact he proceded to throw chips into my soup and when i looked at him angrily because he had pretty much done the exact opposite of what i wanted something he complained so much about me doing he became mad himself and i had to get over the fact that he had pissed me off and kiss his ass. Which made me even more frustrated. Finally the day arrived we were making tuna sandwiches and i was growing more and more frustrated because he kept taking away the vegetables i was cutting because i wasnt doing it "right" i slowly became less enthused and quieter. Instead of acknowledging which to him is the first step in apologizing he became frustrated with me started asking me degradingly what the next step was and because i didnt know how he wanted it made i didnt know the answer he started to walk away i became panicked i had cracked the glass. I explained that i too was frustrated i wanted him to care he didnt he wanted me to get over it and console him feeling conflicted because i was angry myself and he didnt care i let him leave. He called me told me i was a selfish and stupid bitch going on and on insulting me telling me ge was thinking about leaving me over this shit...i began to cry i loved him he said i needed to figure out how to make it up to him he didnt care if i was upset as well. He mocked me for crying. All this time in the back of my head my past self is resurfacing going wtf and dont talk to me like that im not stupid this situation your ridiculous anger is stupid. So as he yelled at me again to figure it out or he would leave...i snapped i started shouting at the top of my lungs all the unfairness he started to tell me to shut up something he loved to do when i started voicing any opinion he didnt agree with at first i listened then i said fuck u i told him he needed to reflect on his own actions not only mine that he was a hyprocrite and selfish not only for not caring i was upset but also by walking away something i stopped doing for him cuz it upset him. I told him i wasnt stupid the fact that he gets angry over all these little things was ridiculous he as usual refused to listen. He said fine why be together at all and said it was over i repeatedly told him i loved him and i didnt want to end it like this he didnt care. He came got his stuff and left i texted him and called him probably 40 times pleading he come back because i loved him i didnt want to waste almost four years i missed him. And its sad because in two days i got over him in two days i became excited at all the things id get to do again now that i wasnt with him the freedom and happiness i felt now that i didnt have someone bearing down on me making me scared to make them angry or face a bad day. And the tuna sandwiches he made were disgusting. Im more myself in these few days then i had been in that entire 4 yr relationship.
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