#Something about Dragon looking at Crocodile and being like ''why the fuck are you more handsome than me'' cracks me up okay

[moongothic]

On the train of your last ask, what are your thoughts on dragons sexuality?

Personally I think he’s Demi something (more attracted to personality than looks or gender)

Honestly because we don't know that much about the guy it's kind of hard for me to form an opinion, and if Crocodad Real then we're going to find out his orientation eventually (since we gotta find out if that was a contributing factor to the Dragodile Divorce (assuming they're divorced)) so I'm kind of okay with not forming any headcanons, since the headcanon could get thrown out the window

If anything, what interests me is how Dragon's orientation could impact the story-- like when I've discussed the Dragodile Divorce I have mainly focused on speculating how Crocodile would've felt about it, but how Dragon felt about that is interesting too

Because if he's straight then yeah that probably contributed to The Divorce, but how did Dragon feel about it? Learning that the love of his life is now happier than ever before after transitioning and being happy for him, while also losing the version of Crocodile that he fallen in love to begin with? No longer feeling thet draw to him because of the thing that has brought him so much joy and comfort? Knowing that even if they did take down the WG the family Dragon had hoped to have would never come to be, because their relationship would now end? And that it would be on some level his fault, because he's not attracted to Crocodile anymore?

Like even if Dragon took things well and the divorce happened "on good terms", it would've been sad for Dragon too.

But then there's a slightly juicier option, because what if Dragon was bi, but the Divorce happened under unpleasant circumstances (be it Dragon lashing out or things getting violent because he couldn't recognize Crocodile) and he didn't figure it out until it was too late?

Because you'd still have Dragon going through some if not all of those previously mentioned feelings, of having to come to terms with the version of his significant other whom he had fallen in love with no longer existed, the family had pictured in his mind would never become a thing, that those things were be kind of his fault and that he had hurt Crocodile deeply in the process. But then he'd be looking at some news article of Crocodile's most recent heroic stunt, seeing his handsome face with that usual, unbothered expression, and realizing he still loved him? That he still wanted to be with him, wished they were together, even now that Crocodile was a far more handsome man than he was? And then the realization that he's bi hitting him like a fucking truck But it's too late. The divorce already happened. He already hurt Crocodile too deeply. Knowing Croc, he had probably already moved on. There was no fixing it, the relationship was over. At least for now, trying to go see Croc could be dangerous due to the WG and not wanting to risk the WG finding out about them and The Kid and Croc would probably be furious if Dragon even risked that at this point, after what he had done. Oh, and then Crocodile killed thousands of innocent people attempting to usurp a country by manufacturing a civil war. Something Dragon can't forgive. (Not to mention, hearing he had been taken down by their own son... Oof)

But what if despite all that, and not knowing the full circumstances behind what had happened (like the fact that Crocodile didn't know who the hell Luffy was), Dragon still loved Crocodile? What then?

#Moon posting #Asks #Dragodile #OP Meta #Answering an unusual amount of asks today because 1) Compensating for being AFK for a while and #2) The Tumblr News are deeply fucking upsetting and I need something to lighten my mood desperately ngl #So clearing my ask box it is wheeeee #Sorry this is a little incoherent lmao #Something about Dragon looking at Crocodile and being like ''why the fuck are you more handsome than me'' cracks me up okay #When your transgender husband gives you gender envy #I just love the story telling potential bi Dragon would give us because like. Yeah if they're straight then the relationship is joever #But if he was bi then there's that theoretical possibility they could maybe reconcile and get back together #And the fucking drama? The possibilities? I'm so here for that man give it to me #Luffy and/or Ivankov telling Dragon to get over himself and admit that he still loves Crocodile and wants to be with him? Gimme #Dragon taking a deadly blow to protect Crocodile because he doesn't want to lose him again? It's a trope for a reason #OR Dragon craddling a dying Crocodile begging him not to die because he still loves him? Oh yes #Crocodile trying to sneak away while everyone celebrates the destruction of the World Government #And Dragon showing up like ''I don't wanna lose you again pls don't go ;_;'' #And Croc telling him to either piss off OR to hurry up and get on the ship so they can leave before Luffy finds out #I am. Obsessed. Dragodile Retirement Romance let's fucking go #THE POSSIBILITIES MAN. Like I don't wanna get my hopes up because I doubt we'll get Canon Gay Dragodile BUT IT COULD BE SO GOOD

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hi!! Hope everything is going well!

Could I Please ask for some bottom buggy (mayhaps with some watersports since I saw you had a interest) or some ftm crocodile being fucked into submission!

Have a nice day.

Ftm Sir Crocodile x male reader

Ficlet

I love Sir Crocodile so much 🗣️ 🗣️

Reader is part of Buggy’s crew, cuz I thought that would be hilarious. Reader doesn’t have a devil fruit, but is still super kickass. Hes kind of the information gatherer, smuggler, etc, for the Buggy crew. Reader is also normal human height.

Mixed terminology for Crocs bits. Also, breeding/pregnancy? kink warning ig. but its just mentioned for the fantasy.

The Cross Guild appeared great for any outsider or lesser in the know members, which was most of them. They all saw your captain as someone great and almost godly, thinking he was so much more than he was, but you had been with him for many years, even before the Buggy pirates had even been created. Shortly after the execution of Rogers, Buggy had stumbled into your path and had accidentally saved your life, and from then on you had been by his side.

Most people thought of you as something akin to an accountant or treasurer, wearing an outfit that looked very much like that of a ringmaster, long red tailcoat and top hat and all. You were always one of the first to run away, giving you a reputation of a coward who couldn’t fight.

The only one who truly knew how much of a threat you could be, would be your captain and his inner circle, which you were also part of. You might not have been the strongest physically compared to someone like Mihawk, but no one could gather information like you could, smuggle like you could, or have someone “disappear” like you could. Your network was so extensive that even the one they called Joker, who you knew was none other than Donquixote Doflamingo, was jealous.

That was why you knew everything about Sir Crocodile and Mihawk before the day was over when the Cross Guild was formed. You cowered off to the side, keeping up your weak act as you flinched at their raised voices or the light reflecting off Crocodiles golden claw.

They believed you a weak fool who’s only worth was your quick mind and ability to calculate numbers quicker than most computers, which resulted in them mostly dismissing you. It was a role you basked in and felt comfortable, using it to keep your true identity under wraps. That was until they pushed your captain too far, as Crocodile especially seemed to take great pleasure in antagonizing and hurting your captain.

You were protective, most pirates were, if they felt any sense of loyalty to their captain. It was because of that, that you dug up a trusted contact, a celestial dragon with greater access to seastone than anyone else you knew. Using measurements from the moment’s clothes had to be made, a pair of cuffs in just the perfect size soon arrived to you with the post.

It was easy to press Crocodiles buttons, to get him worked up by acting stupid and pathetic, just the way you knew made his blood boil. It was even easier to enrage him so far that he chased after you, so blinded by his anger that he didn’t even notice how you kept avoiding his sand, or how you were leading him further and further away from the rest of the guild.

When he finally caught up, Crocodile caged you against the wall, hook digging into the drywall as he almost snarled down at you, cigar crunched between his teeth as his purple eyes blazed. But mild confusion crossed his face as your fearful expression dropped, his body straightening as your eyes met his head on. Before Crocodile could order an explanation, a feeling of weakness crashed through his body, making his knees buckle enough that you had to catch him, supporting his towering weight and bulk.

His vision swam as you started dragging him along, his feet dragging along the floor because of his height compared to your own. Crocodile felt dizzy and mildly nauseous, his eyes finally catching the heavy bands around his wrist, the one he still had left. “ssseastone?” he slurred out, voice lighter than the growl you were used too, cigar long forgotten somewhere along the journey.

In the beginning, you had planned on torturing him, the blades strapped to your person burning at the thought, but as you threw him down almost carelessly on a barely clad bed, a different through passed through your mind.

A slight thrill ran down your spine as his purple eyes burnt into you, his usual anger still present, but mixed with something else, something deeper and hungrier. Soft pants left Crocodiles lips, sounding faintly struggled as the seastone drained the power from his body, leaving him limp and pliant.

You could see the heat rising to Crocodiles cheekbones as you started stripping off your usual getup, tailcoat slid off your shoulders and neatly folded, top hat placed down with care. “What the hell are you doing…” Crocodile rasped from the bed, his pupils blown as an unfamiliar need unfolded inside him, the familiar thrum of pleasure running through body.

Maybe it was his weakened state, but he swore his cunt was pulsing with need, especially as you unbuttoned the stark white shirt you always wore, revealing a tightly muscled and heavily scarred body underneath, leather straps adorned with vials and weapons stretched across your torso.

Crocodile tried to shuffle his legs, maybe to squeeze his thighs together, or to spread them further apart, he wasn’t sure, but all he could do was a minimal twitch and jolt. “I planned on cutting you up, making you beg for mercy. But from the looks of it… you wouldn’t mind some other kind of discipline” you murmur, almost stalking towards him where Crocodile was splayed out on top of the white sheets.

You could see all his muscles tense as you let your hands climb up his legs, up his thighs and stomach, traveling all the way up his arms towards his hook. A choked off noise leaves Crocodile as you remove his hook with ease, like you had done it a thousand times before, placing it off to the side with care.

“Behave yourself” you tell him, squeezing the sides of his jaw to make his lips part. Crocodile tried to growl or snap a threat, to snap his teeth at you or somehow fight back, but his body was mostly unresponsive, his tongue feeling thick and useless in his mouth.

A shiver of anticipation ran through Crocodile as you moved again, settling between his thick spread thighs. Your eyes met as you reach for his belt, your brow lifting as if asking if he wanted you to stop. You may be a pirate, but you had class and manners, at least when it came to stuff like this.

But when all Crocodile responded with was a sour expression and glare, you make easy work of his belt and slacks, tugging them down his hips and legs, throwing them off to the side with little care. Your disregard for his clothes made Crocodile grumble, but the noise was quickly silenced as you pressed your entire hand against his slick underwear, fingers teasing his hard t-cock and soaked folds.

“Tsk tsk, look at you, bet you just need someone to put you in your place, is that it?” you mumble in an almost mocking tone, looking up at him with an almost feral hunger in your eyes. Crocodile chokes on the words that want to form in his throat, some kind of rebuttal perhaps, that he would never want someone as low as you to do anything to him, but as you pinch his cock between your fingers, it morphs into a shaky moan.

Crocodile’s boxers as easily pulled off, thrown to the floor with a damp plap, making his face redden further as you only find amusement in the obvious sign of his arousal. Kicking off your pants and boxers, you crawl up the bed and sit between his thick thighs, pushing them further apart to expose where he only grows slicker, hole clenching around nothing as if begging you to fill it.

“What would they say, seeing the great Sir Crocodile, spread out like this, ready to take the cock of a feeble weak treasurer” you taunt, pressing your hips closer to his, so that you could drag the tip of your cock up and down through his folds. The act has Crocodile arching as good as he can with the cuff on, his eyes squeezing shut as he clenches his jaw, a breathy noise leaving him, folds only growing slicker around you.

Maybe it was your size difference, with you being average human size, compared to Crocodiles almost 9 feet, or maybe it was his gut deep arousal, but his hole didn’t need much prep for you to be able to fit inside.

That didn’t mean you were just gonna give it to him, since this was supposed to be a lesson. A stuttery moan spills almost silently from Crocodiles lips as your fingers rub through his folds, barely pressing against where he wants you the most. He had never imagined himself in a situation like this, splayed out and dripping for you, someone he had always just seen as a nuisance, but here he was.

“Come on Crocodile… ask nicely” your tone is almost cruel as you push only two fingers inside him, barely felt because of his size, but just enough to rub against his wet gummy insides and leave him aching for more. Crocodiles jaw clenches, barring his teeth as his head weakly rolls to the side, as if to hide his face into the sheets.

“Or… I could just leave you here, thighs spread open, cunt glistening with want. Im sure someone will pass by, and who wouldn’t want a chance to fill this” as if to exaggerate your point, you push two more fingers into his slick hole, burying them as deep as possible into Crocodiles wet insides, punching a gasp out of him.

Crocodile seems to debate it, if he wants to put his pride aside for someone like you, but his thoughtprocess is knocked off course as you pinch his cock with your free hand, twisting it cruelly. Had he not been wearing the seastone cuff, his thighs would have clamped shut and a shout would have left him, but now all his body could do was tense up as a wet keen tumbled out of him.

“P…please” Crocodile finally mumbles, voice small and almost shy, but it can barely be heard over the wet slick sounds of your fingers thrusting in and out of him, his wetness running down your palm and wrist in the process.

“Hm?” you hum, the questioning tone in it clear, as if you didn’t hear him at all, giving his cock another twist just because you could. “fuck me… please…” is gasped out, Crocodiles insides clenching around your slick fingers as they rub and prod around inside him.

Your fingers movements slow to a stop, silence filling the room long enough for Crocodile to peek an eye open and look down at you. Your eyes are intense as they bore into his, the predatory flare in them making Crocodiles insides quiver. “Normally id demand better than that, but I’m starting to pity you” you scoff out, withdrawing your fingers from his hold with a slick noise.

Instead of wiping them off on the sheets, you use the large amount of slick that had gathered in your palm to slick up your shaft, releasing a huffed exhale as Crocodiles eyes widen at the sight. “I’ve thought about making you ride me, so you’ll have to make yourself take it, but we can’t do that right now, can we” you eye the cuff around his one wrist, making Crocodile growl and spit out a weak warbled “fuck you”

His insult carries no heat, clearly only for show, his glare quickly wiped off his face as you finally push inside him. Crocodile needs little time to adjust, resulting in you almost immediately setting a bruising rough pace, drawing in and out of him with loud wet slick noises, his hole gripping onto you as he gasps and moans.

Reaching down, you push his shirt up just enough to splay a hand across his lower stomach, a foxlike grin spreading across your lips as you watch his hips weakly roll into your own. “If you weren’t such an asshole, I could fuck you whenever. Imagine that Crocodile, walking around, cunt leaking my cum, as you try to play tough.” You chuckle darkly, tone thick and hungry in the way only a predatory animal could possess.

As your cock rams into that sensitive spot inside him, Crocodile is finally starting to realize you are truly more than you seem, his cunt drooling a wet puddle under him on the sheets as you take him with a new hunger, a glint appearing in your eyes as your hand presses down harder on his stomach.

“I could knock you up you know, right here.” Is hissed out as you bottom out inside Crocodile, the words making him tighten up and shiver in want. “No one would find you so scary then, would they Crocodile. Waddling around, fat with my kid” you purr, letting both your hands splay across his stomach. It was all fantasy, but by God did it make Crocodile wet and wanting. Something about the fantasy of you, some lesser subordinate knocking him, Sir Crocodile, up, had him seeing double.

The seastone didn’t help with his woozy state, all attempts at forming words only becoming half formed and slurred, Crocodiles eyes going wet and glassy as that familiar feeling spread through his body. “in… inside me…” Crocodile slurs as you curse to yourself, clearly close to the finish line as well. Had it not been for the cuffs, he would have thrown his legs around you, squeezing you against his body to keep you inside him, but all he could do now was beg.

Crocodiles pride crumbled as your fingers squeezed his cock one last time, a pure orgasmic expression crossing his face as he gasped and moaned, his entire body twitching weakly as he came, wetting your cock and the sheets even further as the feeling thrummed through his entire body.

With a deep groan you bottom out inside Crocodile for a last time, letting your eyes squeeze shut as you spill inside him, coating his insides in a thick coat of white. Crocodile whimpers weakly at the feeling, trying to squeeze around you as if to milk your length for more.

He slumps against the sheets further than he already is, eyes falling shut in a relaxed exhausted expression. Crocodile barely notices as you pull out, white leaking out from between his folds to join his own mess on the sheets. He barely even notices you cleaning him up, only twitching and gasping softly when you clean up between his legs.

Its only when the seastone cuff leaves his wrist that Crocodile returns to himself somewhat, as the familiar feeling of his devilfruit washes through his body again. Squinting his eyes open, he catches sight of you getting dressed again, tucking on your shirt, then your coat, and lastly placing your hat on top of your head.

Even with his devilfruit returned to him, Crocodile still feels weak and exhausted, but the good type of exhausted one only gets after a good fuck. Part of him wants to ask you to stay, to hold him and pet his hair, to maybe mumble more dirty fantasies about knocking him up, and how you’d make him live as your pretty little housewife. But instead, Crocodile just grunts to get your attention, his attempt to demand to know where you are going.

“I have to get back to the others, since ill be taking over your duties for the rest of the day and tomorrow” you say, voice resolute and not allowing any denial or struggle. And normally Crocodile would have growled and rejected anyone taking over his duties, but for some reason, the idea of you taking care of him made him relax deeper into the bed, muscles lax and thoughts empty and calm for once.

Approaching him, you press a soft kiss to his forehead before telling him “this room is hidden away from everyone else, so take all the time you need. Ill check up on you later” as you pat his cheek. After telling him where the bathroom is, where he could find towels and replacement sheets and blankets, you were on your way, leaving Crocodile on his lonesome.

It took a while, but he finally pushed himself into a seated position before getting to his feet. The feeling of your cum trickling down the insides of his thighs as the familiar heat of arousal burning inside him once more, making Crocodile shuffle towards the bathroom you had pointed him towards. Even though you had just left, he could still get himself off a few more times from just the memory alone.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad to be disciplined by you, he wondered how you’d react if he caused issues with your smuggling routes. The idea sent a line of heat up his spine as he stepped into the shower, hand quickly traveling between his thighs, fingers burying themselves into his still sensitive hole, fantasies of hungry glare and cruel fingers filling his mind.

#male reader #one piece #sir crocodile #ftm sir crocodile #op #breeding kink tw? #pregnancy mention tw? #one piece imagine #one piece headcanon #one piece x male reader #one piece x reader #sir crocodile imagine #sir crocodile headcanon #sir crocodile x male reader #sir crocodile x reader #ftm sir crocodile x male reader #ftm sir crocodile x reader #ftm sir crocodile imagine #ftm sir crocodile headcanon #op imagine #op headcanon #op x male reader #op x reader #one piece smut #sir crocodile smut

[transmascswagpolls]

Transmasc Swag Polls- PRELIMINARIES

This round will eliminate the LOSER. The two characters with the most votes have a guaranteed spot in the polls, so choose whichever one suits you. The "?" characters are already in the polls proper.

Propaganda and other info under the cut.

Why are these characters in the prelims?

This entire post.

Canonicity Levels-

ZORO: Gender Tomfuckery

LORD CROCODILE: OOPS! Accidental Trans Man (in the manga and anime, Subtext/ Coded in the live action series)

FRANKY: Subtext/ Coded

Media?

One Piece

Zoro Propaganda-

He goes around with an open shirt, showing off his scars, buff as anything. Also he’s a Gender Equality guy. As kids, his rival said when they grew up she’d never be able to beat him because he’s a boy, and he scoffed at the statement and insisted otherwise. That doesn’t necessarily make him trans but it would put a neat lens on the scene if he were.

He’s a sword guy! He uses three swords, is cranky, picks fights, and is secretly the goofiest guy around! When he challenged The World’s Greatest Swordsman to a duel (and lost) Zoro turned around to face the guy and take the wound on his front, because “scars on a back are a swordsman’s shame.” That’s freaking cool dude.

[Pollrunner's Note: He is gay but almost exclusively for swords (and whatever the hell he's got going on with Sanji). Also, he can make his tits bounce.]

Crocodile Propaganda-

Him and Ivankov (a canonically trans character with the ability to change people's sex) are stated to have known each other in the past, with Ivankov knowing SOME SECRET about crocodile that he gets INCREDIBLY NERVOUS about being potentially revealed.

The organization he runs is incredibly gender-centric with everyone using either Mr. or Ms. as part of their code name...except him, who uses Sir.

One Piece Live Action kinda sorta made trans crocodile canon in that series at least- at Roger's execution you can spot a woman wearing a fur coat similar to his, and we know in the manga/anime Crocodile was there. Not to mention Inaki (Luffy's actor) STRAIGHT UP says crocodile is there and everyone at the table looks like he said something he wasn't supposed to.

[Pollrunner's Note: I've long held the headcanon that Crocodile is Luffy's secret birth parent. We've never met Luffy's mother and Oda is incredibly vague whenever asked about the subject. Crocodile has a notable past with Luffy's dad, Dragon, as does Iva.]

Franky Propaganda-

He's canonically changed his name and rebuilt his body (cyborg) to his own standard of "romantic masculinity" (actual quote). Franky's introduction to One Piece was him being the leader of a gang of queer-coded delinquents (who all call him "big bro") because he himself has been cast out from society. He's a huge fucking cyborg. He refuses to wear pants ever, even as a child and only wears open hawaiian shirts.

[Pollrunner's Note: Robots have a very intentional masculine coding in One Piece, and Franky loves to pretend and play up that factor at every opportunity. I have gotten into vehement disagreements with people before who've said how he 'can't be trans' because we've gotten confirmation that Franky has a dick and balls. My counter-argument is that Franky is more than capable of building his own body parts if he wanted to, which we've seen with how he was able to turn his entire torso into a mini-fridge.]

#transmasc swag polls 2024 #preliminary polls #roronoa zoro #sir crocodile #crocodile one piece #iron man franky #franky one piece #one piece

[awesomecitys-blog]

One Piece Spoilers below

Something that’s really funny to me is that the Straw Hats are speed running being pirates, which I’ve talked about before, but it gets even funnier when look at it from the perspective of the World Government. Like, one day you get told that a random guy in a straw hat took down Buggy, Don Krieg, and Arlong, which gained the highest bounty in the East Blue, 30 million Berries. Which you think is crazy, but whatever, that just puts him on Smokers radar and nobody gets past Smoker, right? Wrong, cause according to Smoker, Dragon showed up and prevented Smoker from taking down straw hat guy. And for a while, that’s it. You don’t hear anymore about him or his crew, which you believe is because of the Grand Line being, well the Grand Line. Smoker calls you up one day and is like, hey, the Straw Hat Pirates, that what they’re called now, defeated Crocodile in Alabasta. To which you suddenly freak out, because know this Luffy kid is a threat, and you can’t have people finding out about his actions. So, the world thinks that Smoker took down Crocodile and that Luffy played a tiny part in that. In accordance, his bounty is now 100 million Berries. And then him and his crew vanish off the face of the earth, which you take to as a relief. Then Kuzan calls, informing you that the Straw Hats pulled up to Long Ring Long Land with Nico Robin in tow, he didn’t catch them, but that they’re most likely heading to Water 7. Great. Well, at least Lucci and co. are already at Water 7, so they just capture Robin, head to Enies Lobby, and… what? They did what? Scratch that, the Straw Hats broke into Enies Lobby, saved Robin, and escaped the Buster Call to boot. Increase the bounty, 300 million Berries! Poof, Luffy and crew are once again the wind, and you think they might ended up encountering Moria, so you send Kuma to warn him, as well as be there in case Moria washes up. Which he does, but so does Kuma, but at least it wasn’t public like Crocodiles. And besides, you have more pressing matters, what with the upcoming execution of one Portgas D. Ace and all the Supernovas arriving at Sabbody at the same time. Then that idiot punched a World Noble, because of course he did. So Kizaru rolls up, as does Sentomaru and some Pascifta, and the Straw Hats were totally defea… Kuma sent them away? Oh. Well, that’s basically a defeat, right? Huh? Luffy is were? Impel Down? Trying to free Ace, who’s apparently his brother? Ah, good ol’ Mellegan, I knew we could count on him to take down Luffy. Pardon me? Luffy escaped? With who? Crocodile, Mr. 1, Mr. 3, Ivonkva, Inzuma, Buggy, Jinbei, and a ton of prisoners? Gosh darn it all, I’m busy enough as it is! All right, let’s just focus on killing Ace and… GARP IT’S YOUR OWN DAMM FAMILY AGAIN! Fucking hell, Luffy just dropped out of the sky, caused so much trouble, and then vanished for two years, but at least he’s gone…he just showed up? Did we capture him? No?!?! What do you mean no?!?! Well, where the hell are they?!?! (Worth noting that Luffy’s bounty went from 300 to 400 million Berries during this time, and that Dragon was his father, which is probably why Luffy was saved by him all the way back in the East Blue.) At which point, the Straw Hats proceed to wreck havoc at Punk Hazard, according to Smoker, defeat Doflamingo, giving Luffy another bounty increase to 500 million Berries, pull another disappearing act, during which they give Big Mom a headache, which you decide warrants a bounty raise to 1.5 billion Berries, and then they hop their way into Wano, in which you have no power. But you do have spies, which inform you that they, along with their allies, dropped both Big Mom and Kaido. Because of course they did. So, you slap a bounty of 3 billion Berries on Luffys head, and the last you heard, he was gallivanting in Egghead, with Kizaru, Saturn, and a bunch of marines heading there to take down Vegapunk. Oh dear.

Like, Luffy and co. should not be where they are now, but they are and they’re pretty powerful as well.

#one piece #one piece luffy #monkey d. luffy #kizaru #aokiji kuzan #anime #funny #mini rant #every time you think their gone #their back #it never ends

[nehswritesstuffs]

So, um, it's time for Nehs to go off again on One Piece bc my gears are turning thanks to Lore Piece being solid as per usual. Spoilers for chapter 1097 are under the cut, as well as talk of some of the basis of Crocomom, a fanon theory I do not ascribe to but don't necessarily dismiss, so if you do dismiss it then don't read I guess.

Okay, um... so I've been kind of thinking that Bonney isn't really twenty-four years old for a while and something more like a middle schooler (10-14), but this chapter to me sort of soft-confirmed it, as well as set things up for this other crazy-ass fucking thing I didn't think was even possible.

'Cause the end of the chapter puts things fourteen years ago, right? No mention so far of a kid despite Ginny's enthusiasm to get into Kuma's pants. Oda would have mentioned a kid, especially if it was already ten years old. Kuma is too cute to have been a dad and NOT gotten a moment with his baby. (LORD ALMIGHTY why is Kuma so adorable in this edition of Lore Piece I just wanna smush his cheeks and tell him he's doing a fantastic job at caring for his flock and being a rebel.) This means that Bonney is one of a few things:

Kuma and Ginny's daughter they had after rescuing her, giving her a different family name to distance her from the Buccaneer race, ala Ace going by Portgas

Ginny's rescued relative we don't know exists yet

Kuma's adoptive daughter that he takes in bc she looks hauntingly like Ginny

Ginny's daughter from things happening while she was kidnapped

Ginny's clone in the Clone Trooper sense, taken and prematurely aged

Ginny's clone in the Boba Fett sense, taken w/o being aged

No matter how you shake it, unless Bonney is some until-now-unknown child waiting to be rescued, all of these options point to her actually being somewhere around tween/young teen in actuality but presenting like an adult in order to get taken seriously. The anti-eyebrow piercing would even play into that, being a potential way for a kid to prove they're so big and tough and able to run with the big kids take me with you Shanks I'm no anchor. So, we're getting to her true origins soon, also where Vegapunk comes into play, whether he is a cause or a secret-keeper or whatever.

Now, remember how I said something about Crocomom? As it turns out, I feel like if we get any confirmation for the trans!Crocodile fan theory, it's gonna be within the next two or three chapters. Why? I think Croc is potentially connected to whomever captured Ginny. Iva, being their fabulous self, is not above using their power to disorient opponents. While this could mean that Crocodile is a cis man but got temporarily femme'd and turned back after humiliation, it also leaves open the possibility for Iva putting Croc through permanent HRT for either punishment purposes (so unwitting ftm not changing you back candy you've been bad now go learn a lesson) or for negotiation purposes (already afab ftm but give us our Ginny back and I can make you grow a dick and lose your tit fat). While I don't think that Crocodile was necessarily designed to be transgender from the beginning, I also feel like Oda has to know about the Crocomom/trans!Croc fanon and he is specifically the kind of author who just shrugs and goes with shit fans make up. That's how he got almost all, if not every single, birthday for the cast, so why not this twist? Like, I wasn't sold on it the first time I encountered this theory, but like I said: I never discounted it because we never know what's going on in Oda's brain. He really gave us a good potential set up here, so it'd be weird if he didn't use it.

(I still think that Crocomom specifically is a long shot since Luffy's five at this point, so unless Dragon is going to potentially wage war on his ex/babymama and neither of them mention Luffy, it leaves even more parts of the puzzle that don't quite fit (and Croc wouldn't already be ftm bc that's a lost chance at a new character design, which we all know Oda is shit at resisting). There's a lot of them that already don't fit to me, but that's neither here nor there. I'm just concerned that even if we do have ftm!Crocodile thanks to Iva's Devil Fruit, that a lack of Crocomom would mean that One Piece has its own version of the Blaise Zabini Debacle in the works (apologies for bringing HP into it but it's true) and we as a fandom are better than that.)

OR I COULD BE WRONG ABOUT ALL OF THIS AND GINNY WAS CAPTURED BY MARINES, GIVING HER TO VEGAPUNK FOR EXPERIMENTS, WHICH WOULD LEAD INTO OTHER STUFF but yeah

None of this theorizing I think could have been possible, like, ten/fifteen years ago, because part of me feels like Oda has been putting his foot down a lot based on what it is we've been getting. Some stuff could have, yeah, been sort of meddled with by the editors/SJ at this point, but it feels like he's been able to get away with a lot more than he did before. Being such an important asset can do that.

...but yeah, if none of this happens (or is at least more firmly kickstarted) by chapter 1100, chances are that we're not getting it.

#One Piece #One Piece spoilers #1097 spoilers #I love that Oda of all people says trans rights bc that's funny as shit #so even if none of this goes down that doesn't change what we got #I might tag other things later but right now this is here

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Op Men React to Hearing You Moan There Name Out Loud During Sex N/SFW

Hello Hello lovely spirits! Sinning hours tends to be something we often talk about apperantely a sinners mind is never at rest! Me and the lovely @simpforroses @starrybrujita and @fireflykaizoku came up with these lovely head cannons! There is more underway too! teehee I hope you enjoy!!

Warning: Sexual Content, Suggestive language, Penetration, Begging, Dominance from op men

Hearing the mumbling curse words coming from underneath his breath. The room was filled with cries of pleasure with a mixture of ecstasy. The sound of the skins slapping against one another. Feeling his girthy cock thrusting so deep inside of you. The moans coming from your mouth couldn’t be contained for much longer. He was just making you feel everything and anything the next thing you know the sweet sinful moans of calling out his names took him by shock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Climaxer (the way you moan his name out loud as he continues to fuck you in sends him over the edge, just a few more thrusts hearing him say “fuck babe your gonna make me cum just the way you say my name.” )

Shanks, Franky, Ace, Bon Clay, Daz,  Shachi, Penguin, Fujitora, Katakuri, Curiel, Yassop, Lime juice, Usopp, Buggy, Haruta, Sanji

He wants you to say his name more (A smirk curling upon his face hearing his name spill out of your mouth “that’s right babe, keep saying my name just like that as I fuck you.” Feeling his fingers digging in your flesh)

Thatch, Aokiji, Vista, Benn, Kizaru, Marco, Killer, Cavendish(he enjoys hearing his name being praised like the god he is), Wire, Oven, Sabo, Whitebeard, Garp, Zoro,Rayleigh, Roger, Izou, Rakuyo, Bellamy, Buggy, Caesar Clown, Katakuri, Duval, Law. Katakuri

The dirty talker  (Leaning over to your ear “You must fucking love the way my cock fits so well deep inside of you. Just wait I’m going to have you on your knees while you clean the mess you made on my cock.”  he would lick the shell of your ear.)

Thatch, Vista, Ivankov, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Heat, Shachi, Perospero, Wyper, Enel

Gets very bashful  (his face becomes hot he could have sworn steam was coming from his ears  “I-i didn’t know you could say my name like that” would pique his interest wondering how many more times he can hear you say his name just like that.)

Koby, Usopp, Vander, X-Drake, Hawkins, Juzo, Kaku, Jinbe, Rosinante, Bartolomeo, Jean-Bart, Haruta, Caesar Clown

Raising the Volume (he will slam his cock into you deeper and harder wanting to hear you scream his name out loud so everyone could hear you “let’s make sure everyone knows who  you belong to.”)

Kid, Mihawk, Arlong, Zoro, King, Law, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Cracker, Marco, Heat, Wire, Oven, Sabo, Whitebeard, Gaban, Thatch, Sasaki, Wyper, Kaidou, Bellamy, Enel(he is his s/o god in that moment)

The private one  (covers your mouth his hand, the moans would be muffled by his hand “are you trying to have people know what we are doing?” seeing the say he is flexing his jaw as he contains his own moans.)

Lucci, Akainu, Pell, Daifuku, Sengoku, Momonaga, Smoker, Paulie, Iceberg, Dragon

Will moan your name outloud (He knows he is making you feel good, you are also giving him the same pleasurable effect “fuck _______ you feel so right now. I love how your clench around my cock.”)

Vander, Ace, Cavendish(he will moan it better), Sanji, Penguin, Garp, Roger, Oden, Katakuri

The questioner (When you moan his name out loud he would look at you and tilt his head wondering why you called his name out “Ummm _______ did you need something?” )

Luffy

The one that makes a joke( "That moan sent these pile of bones into a hot femur Yohohohoho”)

Brook

The Over Eccentric One ( When he moans your name, rose petals and romantic filters manifest in the background "Say my name again y/n, it sounds so beautiful on your tongue, and I can make your name more beautiful too.”) Cavendish

Human Combustion (Catches on literal fire hearing you moan his name just right "too hot, damn hot")

Ace, Sanji, Rosinante, Oven

Tagging: @undercoverweeeb @kristaline2dmensimp @vemuabhi @athenatakami @iloveportgasdace @kerokerogecko @kaizokuwritings @dressroba @pure-kirarin and to anyone who would like to join the tag!

#one piece headcanons #one piece #the witch of one piece #simpforroses #starrybrujita #fireflykaizoku #portgas d. ace x reader #one piece sabo #law trafalgar #marco the phoenix #katakuri charlotte #eustass kid #killer #portgas d. ace #op sanji #roronoa zoro #one piece thatch #rosinante #one piece rayleigh #one piece shanks #op benn #king the wildfire #op whitebeard #one piece scenario #one piece x reader

[unmaskedagain]

Marinette: Stone Cold

Ok so i love this prompt but it took forever to get to. And as soon as I did its like suddenly I was swamped with everything. So frustrating. But I finally finished it. And I love it. @vixen-uchiha​

              Marinette was six-years-old when her parents died in a car crash. She had been at school when the vice principle, Mrs. Valmontes, stopped by and pulled her out of class. The little black haired girl had known something was wrong instantly as Valmontes had smiled just a little hard at her and much more gently than what she was known for.

           Still, she had been really surprised to see Office Raincomprix, her classmate Sabrina’s dad, waiting for her in the principle. Marinette always thought he was really nice; always jolly and quick to lend a hand to the teacher at the end of the day if he got to class early to pick up Sabrina. However, he too, seemed rather despondent when Marinette entered the room. His partner, a rookie named Lorna, looked really sad too.

           They took her down to the station where she was led to one of the back offices. Sabrina’s dad waited with her there. And then woman name Susanna LeFlont, who Marinette would later learn was a grief counselor. Then they told her.

           Susanna held her as she cried and begged and called them liars, until she couldn’t cry anymore. And then they gave her a stuffed animal, and said they would try calling her relatives to pick her up.

           They came back an hour later, saying they got ahold of her parents’ emergency contact…

           Marinette’s Uncle Jareth Dupain.

           She had frowned when they said his name because to her he had never been Jareth Dupain. No, he was always her cool Uncle Jagged. So it took her a second to remember that his real name was Jareth Dupain-Stone, her father’s younger half-brother. Marinette even briefly remember her dad mentioning having to change their emergency contact after his mom, Gina, passed away a few ago.

           He was only 20 when Marinette born and he was always a budding Rockstar so he wasn’t around too much. And 6 years later he was the biggest rockstar in the world. Still, that didn’t stop him from rushing to the police station, Penny hot on his trail, and pulled his sweet niece into the biggest hug he could.

           Jagged took his niece to the hotel room to get her settled and had Penny go back to the bakery to get some of her things. He didn’t think it was a smart idea to take her there yet; not when the wounds were still so fresh.

           Still as the twenty-six year old Rockstar stared at the small form cuddled up to Fang, he realized for the first time that he was all Marinette had in the world; the only family she had left. The only family he had left.

           So he knew, despite the lawyers taking days to contact him regarding who Marinette’s guardian would be, that it was him. Jagged was the person Tom had entrusted to protect and watch the most precious thing he had the entire world; his daughter. And he wouldn’t let his brother down.

Tom had always been the best big brother anyone could have. And when Jagged’s own father, Tom’s Stepfather (as tom’s own father had suffered a heartache when Tom was a teen), had walked out, Tom had stepped up. He showed Jagged, who was still called Jareth at the time, how to be a man. He believed in Jagged’s rockstar dream when Jagged didn’t even believe in them himself.

Jagged would do right Tom, by Sabine; he would do what they would do if the situation was reversed and they were given Jagged’s kid to care for.

He would raise Marinette as he own. And though he knew would never come close to being the father that Tom Dupain had been…

Jagged would damn well try to be.

…

…

Jagged Stone, Shattered Roses, Nightmare’s Hail Mary, Unmasked Dragon, True Born Rejects, and Emancipated Mirrors were some of the biggest rock band in the world. Whenever, they went on tour together, they were the epitome of what people thought Rock Stars were. They were loud. They partied all night. Groupies hung around everywhere. To them, it was paradise. When all the bands were invited to go on the Kings of Neverland tour, with Jagged Stone headlining, they expected very much the same as they were used to. Jagged always had the most Rockin tour bus. His parties were legendary. They came to expect it.

However, when Neon Savage (front man of the Shattered Roses), Austin Knight (Leader of Unmasked dragon and lead Guitarist), and Niklaus Bane (Lead vocalist of True Born Rejects) showed up with beers and all other sorts of alcohol the day before their opening concert for the tour, they came across something very unexpected.

Or rather someone.

A little Asian girl with pigtails in her Blue hair, a tiara on her head, in a rainbow tutu paired with a black too large Guns N Roses shirt, her hand on her hips, no shoes, and a rather large crocodile next to her.

“What’s with the ballerina?” Austin asked. He had dyed silver hair done in a stereotypical emo style, grey eyes, and too many piercings. He was slim and tall.

           Niklaus sighed in relief, “Oh good, you see her too!” He had curly blond hair, dark brown eyes, and wore mostly black. He had ripped jeans and a red tie. The tie was as red as the whites of his looked. “Why is your hair blue?”

“Because Uncle said I could,” She answered and pointed a figure at them, “You’re not supposed to be here.”

Savage scoffed, “You got that twisted, kid.” He was a bulk guy, with long dark hair, and a severe expression on his face. His arms were covered in tattoos. He played in a metal band, and it was obvious. “Where’s your mommy?”

“Dead,” The little girl said bluntly. “I live with my Uncle Jagged now. This his tour bus, and you’re not supposed to be here.” She glared at them. “Fang, Stranger Danger!”

           What happened next was a bit of a blur. One minute they were fine, the next they were being chased around Jagged’s tour bus by a rather vicious crocodile while pint-sized twerp laughed.

           Lucky for them, their yells for help were overheard by Penny and Jagged who had been working in back, “What’s going on?” Penny asked as she ran in.

“Mates, what the h. e. double hockey sticks is going on?” Jagged asked right on his assistant’s tail.

           Austin, who had jumped on top one of the shelves, gave Jagged a confused look, “Better question; what the hell did you just say?”

“Ooohhhh! There’s five bucks for the swear jar!” The little girl taunted.

           Jagged glared at rockstar, “Watch it! A Kid’s in the room!”

           Savage glared at his longtime friend, “Who the fuck do you think set Fang on us?!” He cast a dark look at the crocodile. “Stranger danger my ass! I’ve known you sent you hatched, you overgrown cheap pair of boots.”

“That’s ten buck for the swear jar!” The girl said.

“Ten bucks?” Austin frowned. “Kinda of steep for just two swear words.”

“I swear to God-” Savage growled but was cut off.

“Chill, mate,” Jagged said. “This is my niece Marinette.” He gave her a loving smile. She beamed up at him brightly. He had been taking care of her for a year now. “I told ya about her.”

“You didn’t say she was Satan!” Austin whined. Fang had bitten him, the slowest of the three, quite a lot, and he had a giant hole in his jacket.

“I’m not Satan,” Marinette huffed. “I’m a ballerina, princess, Rockstar on my way to a tea party with Duchess Rosy Sparkles, of the Unicorn Fairies. And guess what, you’re not invited!”

“Oh that’s just mean,” Niklaus complained.

“She sicked a mini dinosaur on us,” Savaged hissed.

“Yeah, well, now she hurt my feelings.”

           Jagged sighed. The guys were some of his closest friends, and by the look up the “entertainment” they brought, they were ready to raze it up like always. But things had changed. Jagged couldn’t be that guy anymore. “Marinette’s staying with me from now on,” He reminded them. “No parties on the tour. She has a bedtime. And doesn’t need to see “us” at our finest, no matter how Rockin we are.” Jagged shrugged. “Spread the world, my bus is off limits.”

The rock stars grumbled a bit but didn’t leave. They could hang with Jagged without presence of booze, weed, loud music, and groupies. It would be a little weird but they’d managed. Jagged was their friend; they’d known him before any of them became famous and stayed close well after. They hadn’t been there for him as much as they wanted to after Tom died; too many commitments, too many required appearances in different countries that had taken them away. But they were there now. And if being there for one of their best friends meant regularly chilling with a six-year-old, then they’d deal.

Savage grunted, “Austin, get rid of the booze.”

“By ‘get rid of’, I assume you meant put back in my tour bus,” The silver haired guitarist corrected.

           Niklaus raised his hand like he was a student in class, “I get the whole no alcohol thing; that stuff will kill ya. But what your feelings on pot?”

           Jagged just sighed. It was going to be a long summer.

           The three musician, and even the other Rockers on tour, slowly but surely got used to the seemingly near constant presence of a six-year-old around Jagged or running around backstage. And the swear jar was a serious thing. It didn’t count when they were singing on stage but off it and anywhere near Marinette and they found themselves forking over five dollars for ever swear word. It added up a lot. And quickly.

           Jagged’s tour bus, instead of being the Party palace it used to be, now was the chill zone. It was also the cleanest of all the tour buses. No empty beer bottles everywhere. No one random passed out anywhere. No having to watch out for throw up. No rabid fans, as Jagged had increased his security to Tony Stark worthy levels.

           All they had to do was mind their manners and remember that Marinette was very impressionable at her age.

“OH screw you!!!!!!” Savage roared as he jumped up and frantically mashed buttons on his controller. “I’m not losing!”

           They had been babysitting Marinette all day while Jagged did an interview Buzzfeed.

           Austin snickered, “Says you.” His character raced past Savage’s. Only for something to hit him and send poor little Yoshi spinning out of control. “Did you- did you just blue shell me, bitch?” He hissed at Niklaus.

“Nooo!” Niklaus said sarcastically. “Hey!!! Not nice, brat!” He told Marinette after a banana caused him to slip off the ice.

           Marinette smiled easily, but there was a determined look in her eyes. Her hair was jelled into a faux-hawk courtesy of Ashley Crimson, from lead singer for Emancipated Mirrors, an all-girl punk rock band.

“Die, scumbag!” Ashley roared as her racer zoomed by. She was a vivacious redhead. Her and her bandmates got used to being some of the only girls around that weren’t either working for one of the rock stars or were scantily clad fangirls who do “anything” to get backstage.

“You’re going down, twerp!” Savage told Marinette.

“Bite me!” She snapped back just as Jagged and Penny walked into the tour bus.

           Jagged crossed his arms, “What did you morons do to my sweet little niece?”

“Nothing!” Niklaus, Ashley, Savage, and Austin chimed together.

“Savage taught me to throw a punch, and or kill a man.” Marinette smiled happily. “I helped Austin set up a glitter bomb in Nightmare’s Hail Mary tour bus. Niklaus and I are banned from Chuckie Cheese. Ashley and I spray painted her ex boyfriend’s car. Cleo and I got arrested. We disturbed the peace!!” Cleo was a pink haired girl who played drummer from Nightmare’s Hail Mary. She had to rush off for her own interview. “Oh and we’ve only been Playing Mario kart for an hour but they each owe like a hundred bucks to the swear jar.”

           There was silence as the words were processed.

“And not one of us taught her how to keep a freaking secret?” Ashley face palmed.

           Jagged just sighed.

…

…

           For the next few years that was Marinette’s life. Austin, Niklaus, Savage and Ashley became pseudo Uncles and Aunt to Marinette.

She spent most of her childhood on tour with her Uncle; going from to place, concert after concert. Marinette was homeschooled and didn’t mind it. Jagged went on tour with a bunch of different people over the years and she got to meet all sorts musicians; Clara Nightingale, Ed Sheeran, Adam Levine, Brendon Urie from Panic! At the Disco, Taylor Swift. Her favorite were the award shows though. Through them, she got to meet all her favorite actors. And was inspired to start designing on her own clothes after seeing so many fabulous looks. She got to model and do some acting. In her free time, she ran a very popular fashion blog/youtube channel.

The press had always loved her. To them, she was Marinette Stone (Jagged didn’t want her real name released to the media). She was always on the best dressed list, frequently seen with various celebrities, and could be found on the cover of various magazine.

However, when Marinette was eleven, she begged her Uncle to let her go to school with other kids. She was getting older and she wanted to have some type of normal childhood. It took him a year to agree. Her uncle Jagged had become quite protective over the years.

So Marinette went back to Paris. She cut her hair, used her given name of Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Her Uncle bought a grand penthouse not too far away from her new school, and whenever he was gone her bodyguard, a sweet woman named Harlow who was former CIA, was in charge of her. She started at her new school with a smile on her face.

Not long after, she became the hero Ladybug.

Everything was great. She had friends, a normal social life, went to school with other kids her age. She wasn’t constantly being followed around by paparazzi. She still ran her fashion blog and had frequently updates. It was perfect.

It took two years for it to go bust.

The reason’s name was Lila Rossi.

And she was the biggest liar Marinette had ever met. And Marinette had grown up in the entertainment industry.

Lila made wild claims that the other kids just ate up. A simple google search could refute all of them. The ones Marinette could stand was always about Jagged. Like her Uncle, or an airline, would be reckless enough to let a kid race on to an airport to save a cat; not that Jagged had ever own one. Fang was territorial.

Lila made her out to be a bully, and slowly Marinette lost all her friends. Her only one left was Adrien, her partner Chat Noir. The blond and Marinette had modeled together a few times and he had recognized Marinette despite her new looked but he kept it a secret. Because of their history, Marinette developed a crush on the other and Adrien was quick to lose his crush on Ladybug once he found out it was his dear friend behind the mask.

When Marinette was exiled to the back, Adrien was quick to join her (much to Lila’s fury) and nothing could change his mind. Mostly because he was sick of Lila always touching him despite his vocal protests, and Bustier not doing anything about it.

Soon Marinette things started being messed up or destroyed; her homework, her sketchbooks and pencils, her jacket. She was tripped and called rude names. Her cellphone, (Well one of her phones. She had two; one she used as Marinette Stone. One for Marinette Dupain-Cheng; a number only her classmates had.) was filled with mean texts.

Bustier caved to demands and had her excluded from class trips and events due to being a negative influence; again Adrien decided not to go either, and Lila was Akumatized once he said this. Marinette hadn’t been surprised. Bustier always ignored the bullying and harassment clearly happening in front of her. Still, Marinette decided to start recording her classes a hidden camera on her desk, on the corner of the celling and even on top of the whiteboard behind Bustier. It was just in case anything took a serious turn.

Still losing all her friends because of a few promises and dreams of glitz and glamour had been a wakeup call. Her Uncle had warned her. Her Aunt Penny, who Jagged had married with Marinette was ten, had warned her. So did Savage, Ashley, Cleo, Austin, Clara, and Niklaus. They told Marinette to watch out for fake friends and gold diggers, coattail clingers and desperate wannabes; people who would sell out every secret she had to the paparazzi behind her back just for five minutes in the spot light. So called friends who would do anything to get ahead, to get famous.

And it was clear that’s who most of her ex-friends were. Even Lila learned the hard way. When she told Alya about her mom meeting with some important celebrity about their Go Green initiative, this wasn’t a lie as it would turn out. However, the glasses-wearing girl posted it online, despite Lila legitimately asking her to keep it a secret. Lila got in big trouble with her mom apparently.

The teacher, Bustier, was awful but she always had been. Marinette ignored it in the past because at least she had her friends. But if that witch told Marinette to be a better example one more time, it was over.

           Everything came to a head after Marinette got expelled, granted she was brought back after evidence that it was impossible for her to have cheated surfaced, and the bluenette decided enough was enough. She finally gave in and told her Uncle everything.

           Jagged was pissed. He cursed up a storm; enough to fill the swear jar ten times over and buy Marinette a car.

           It took a while to get him to calm down. And to convince him that Marinette could handle it. She had a plan.

           Still, she remembered that Uncle was a wild card.

           Friday, during lunch, Marinette was eating in the cafeteria, when suddenly the lunchroom doors burst open, “Marinette,” Jagged called as he entered, trailed by a happy Penny and bodyguards “Where’s my favorite little fashion designer?”

           Marinette just sighed.

Adrien smirked at her; looking way too amused. The jerk must’ve known. She had thought it was strange that he wanted to eat in the cafeteria. The two rarely ate on the school grounds, opting and preferring to go to local restaurants rather than deal with terrible food and pesky classmates. Still Marinette didn’t mind as long as they away from her classmates. And they did.

Kagami, Aurore, and Claude gave her perplexed looks.

           The students in the cafeteria went wild. Girls and guys screamed, and tried to get pictures. Jagged ignored them and went straight to Marinette’s table, walking passed where Bustier’s student at lunch. Alya shook Lila’s shoulder and pointed at Jagged, and loudly asked if Lila could get her an interview. Lila looked horrified.

Jagged beamed when he reached Marinette, “There you are, you’ve been ignoring my texts,” He accused. Which to be fair, Marinette had been. Her Uncle had been coming up with way too many revenge plots to be healthy. “I decided I need a new look for the VMAs; something rockin, something tasteful, something to show remind the world the amazingness that the Rock Gods have blessed them with.”

“I’m at school,” Marinette told him.

           He smirked, “Then Learn to answer a text,” The Rock star shrugged. “But fine; we can talk later. How about at my concert, yeah. You and your friends” he motioned to the kids at Marinette’s table, “Can have backstage passes. We’ll talk then. But I really want you to wow me. Maybe get a matching hat for Fang too.”

“Fang?” Adrien asked innocently. Still Marinette could practically hear see the script he was reading off of.  “Is that your cat?”

           Jagged gasped as if insulted, “Cat? Do you think I’d ever own anything as ordinary as a cat? Me? Jagged Stone?! I should be insulted, mate. I hate cats, always have. Never owned one, never will. Fang’s a crocodile. Marinette’s knows. Fang loves her.”

“That is strange,” Kagami shot Marinette a smirk which caused Marinette to nearly hiss at the betrayal. Kagami knew too?! “Lila said you did.”

“Lila?” Jagged asked. “Who’s Lila? I don’t know a Lila.”

“Lila Rossi?” Aurore offered. “The Ladyblog practically swears in an interview that Lila Rossi saved your cat from being hit by a plane or something.”

           Jagged scoffed, “What a loud of bull! Any journalist that believes that is not worth the pen they write with.” Gasps were heard. “But I heard that rumor. Didn’t know where it was from. Thanks for letting me know who I should sue. This Ladyblog and Lila Rossi will be hearing from my lawyers.”

           It was a photo finish as to who fainted first; Alya or Lila.

           Lila went home right after that. This caused the reactions of the class to be split. Half the class still defended Lila; refusing to believe their golden ticket was lying. The other half was ready to burn her at the stake; they had carried her books, done her homework, wrote her notes, nearly everything for her.

           Marinette just sat back and watched with amused eyes. If they thought this was bad, they hadn’t seen anything yet.

           That weekend Marinette Stone released a video on her blog about bullying. She had been mentioning her own trouble with bullying for months and people had asked her for more information.

           The title of the video was:

           Bullying Stone: The Expose

           In it Marinette revealed that at her school she went by Marinette Dupain-Cheng, her real name, and had a new look. She told about how much she liked school at first. And they what changed; that it all started when a new girl arrived and started telling lies about celebrities about Marinette. She told the story of how she was expelled; and just how many procedures were broken when it happened.

           Marinette used the recordings she had of class, and even showed up the horrible texts she got.

“As you can see the teacher does nothing,” Marinette frowned. “It’s all happening right in front of her and she does nothing. In the next video, you’ll see someone being sexually harassed, in front of the teacher and she doing nothing about it. And then what victim blaming looks like. Again, as a reminder, all these videos and pictures are unedited.” She had offered to blur Adrien’s face but he declined, and even appeared in the video too and talked about his own experience.

           At the end of the video, Marinette looked straight at the camera, “Anyone can be bullied; famous or otherwise. If you’re being bullied; speak up. Tell your parents, your Aunts, your Uncles, your siblings, your cousins, teachers who you know will actually do something about it. I waited too long to tell someone. I regret that. They thought what they were doing was hurting me.  They thought I’d be miserable without them. They thought I’d cry and break and come crawling back to them. They thought wrong. You can bully Stone but it takes a hell of a lot more than that to break it.”

           The video went viral in an hour. And people were angry. The people who knew Marinette and loved her were beyond furious. Jagged, even more so, as he hadn’t seen the videos before, read the texts.

           Marinette Stone’s phone blew up with texts and calls. She was tweeted and retweeted thousands of times. And she got far too many, ‘You want me to kick their asses for you. I can kick their asses for you,” texts. But she had known she’d get them.

           The Ladyblog was ripped for lies by celebrities who been lied about on site and fans.

           Gabriel Agreste, Adrien told her, was pissed about what had been happening to Adrien, in front of a teacher no less. Lila Rossi fired. And if Lila ever had dreams about working in the fashion industry, they were over.

           Savage, after berating her for not kicking Lila’s ass, told her he and the gang (Austin, Cleo, Ashley, and And Niklaus) was coming over for some Mario Kart and artery clogging fast food.

           When the call disconnect, Marinette got a text from him.

Why did you sic Fang on them?

And that’s a five for the swear jar!

           Marinette couldn’t stop laughing.    

#ml salt #ml fic #ml salt fic #marinette dupain cheng #Marinette deserves better #adrien deserves better #adrien agreste #alya salt #class salt

[bitterfucked]

finally beat all the ds3 bosses solo the other day so here’s a buncha shitty cell phone pics i sent to my friend to brag

build was a regen faith build 44/40 VIG/END, 28/16 STR/DEX, 60 FAITH. rings were Sun Princess, FAP, Havel, and Chloranthy (all +3 for Midir/Gael). i used Blessed Lothric Knight Greatsword for Soul of Cinder, with Ancient Dragon Greatshield offhand, Sunlight Straight Sword + ADGS vs Nameless King, and the Blessed Dragonslayer Axe/Ethereal Oak Shield you see in the pics vs everyone else.

here’s my review of the 5 hardest bosses:

1. Soul of Cinder: 9/10

fun fight, the super varied movesets were really thematic. loses a point cos if you aren’t familiar with previous games’ lore this is kind of an “okay i guess there had to be a final boss” type of fight. like great gameplay but Cindy has 0 story build-up in ds3

2. Nameless King: -100/10 first phase, 7/10 second phase

overhyped garbage fight. hate playing camera souls phase 1, hate that you’re encouraged to bring lightning for the drake’s weakness and then punished for it phase 2, and i hate his janky stab-grab hitbox.

“he’s got a super varied moveset” okay but he doesn’t if you do the typical “suck dick and smack booty” ds3 boss strategy; the fight is just swing swing punish for 2 minutes straight. don’t get me wrong i love ds3 gameplay and i’m here for that but the way ppl talk about NK i was expecting something better than a trashfire phase 1 followed by a phase 2 that is IMO subpar when compared to Dragonslayer Armor or Cindy for “big dude with sword” fights.

i won’t be fighting NK on any NG+s i think. phase 1 is that unfun, so it’s probably a 1/character fight to get his sick fashion and maybe that swordspear

3. Sister Friede: 9/10

first phase is fun as hell once you get the hang of it, phase 2 is a bit meh and really why she isn’t 10/10, phase 3 is terrifying and so satisfying to beat. not much to say here. Friede and Cindy are both very nearly that platonic dark souls ideal of a boss that feels impossibly hard until you learn their moves and realize how fair (yet challenging) the fight is.

4. Midir: 10/10 potential, 7/10 practical

i love midir’s moveset and he’s the dragon fight of my dreams. you know how a lot of video games do dragon fights but they don’t do a good job of actually showcasing what it’s like to fight a five-storey tall crocodile that can breathe fire and fly? midir falls (omg spoiler) a lil short on the flying department but nails everything else.

the thing is, he’s a health sponge. this’d be my favourite fight in the game if he had about 2000 less HP but as is, he’s a bit too much of an endurance fight. which takes away from the sheer terror of a well done dragon - there should be more of an element of “take him down fast or die”. endurance fight removes that tension and makes it more of a “somersaulting arsehole teases animal for ten minutes before delivering a brutal headshot” kind of tone. midir also gives a surprising amount of space for you to heal for a battle that’s considered the hardest in the game, which removes the tension of an endurance fight - you’re not outlasting a series of deadly combos, you’re using your own massive HP pool to marathon 200 hits into midir’s noggin

5. Gael: 6/10

i’m probably never going to fight gael again but he does score a lot of points for

a) having each phase be more of an awe-inspiring “oh shit oh fuck” moment than the last

b) making me nearly piss myself when i passed through the fog gate for the first time and was like “huh this a weird spot for the gate” and then see him just fucking sprinting at me

c) literally saying “it’s always darkest before the soul!” like what a fucking funny line for the final boss of the series

anyways he’s got the same issue as midir where it’s a sastisfyingly difficult fight made frustratingly much harder by an inflated HP pool. even once i got phase 1 & 2 relatively down, he was such a slog that my mistakes would just pile up for phase 3. i know i don’t have this complaint for Friede who has a similar size HP pool but she’s not an endurance slog - she can get combo’d down fast phase 1, and phase 2 is so full of free hits that she’s effectively 5000 HP less than her written total. you don’t spend the entire fight dodging around being like “okay… where’s my one hit opening…” which is fun to do sometimes! just not for the entirety of an extremely long fight

outside of HP bloat, teleporting into phase 2 feels janky and basically having to use the pillars to create space for estus and buffs reduces an epic fight into cheesy videogame moments. i also literally did not realize that his cape hurts you because that makes no fucking sense. i thought he just had janky hit boxes until i looked up a video on how to beat him

fun as hell game overall tho time to finish my pyro, sorc, and ranger playthroughs

#dark souls #ds3

[thesilkenlair]

(Casey Here!)

As much D&D as I play, you'd imagine I would eventually get around to illustrating some of their most iconic monsters! Which is to say, the ones that I personally find the most iconic. Which is to say, the ones I memorized when I was reading my dad's monster manual at age nine. Purple worm - Sandworms never go out of style. I've seen a lot of rad designs for this bugger over the editions, but I favor the slightly less reptilian older takes for this particular critter. It's kinda basic, but sometimes that's what you want. It's like a shark or a crocodile: Just flat out unchanged across the ages. Hook horror - I've heard it rumored that Gygax used a small Gigan figure to represent this monster. I can't verify that, but it definitely sounds right. Hook horrors are one of the very first things you meet when you play around in the caves, and they kind of remind me of the Father Deep monsters of the Hork Bajir homeworld that way. Mind flayer - Mind flayers! Basically, take all of your Dracula conventions and dip them in a fresh coat of Lovecraft. There's that old "decadent aristocratic upper caste system who literally eats the poor, but still somehow comes across as less evil than the actual real life 1%" setup that will never stop being relevant. Though personally, I see mind flayers as the first alternative for folks who want to play that monster-who-feels-the-urge-to-eat-their-friends-but-refuses-to-do-it shtick but don't want to deal with vampire baggage. You know, the furry option! ... Slimy? Rubbery? Do we have a word for anthro-cephalopods? I'm only a casual furry. Gelatinous cube - I'm not apologizing for giving this one a slot. Froghemoth - So, back when I participated in my very first long-term campaign, I played a druid. You've met Talia before. Naturally, I was chomping at the bit for the day I finally got to turn her into a froghemoth, and celebrated the day my wish was finally granted and she was allowed to chug human-supremacist-cultists like popcorn. Yeah, okay, the froghemoth is one of the classic vore-monsters. But it's a charming design in its own right. Kind of a freaky Hanna Barbara critter, like you'd see Space Ghost fighting. No matter how many artists draw it, they can never shake that inherent goofiness that third edition tried so hard to purge. I would probably cram them somewhere onto Fronterra if I was sure they were public domain. As is, I'm 99% certain that this is what Visser Three turned into when he ate Elfangor. Tarrasque - D&D's original kaiju! Kind of just takes the name and nothing else when it comes to its mythological origins, but I don't mind. The Tarrasque is that endgame "let's test the players" final boss monster... Or at least it's supposed to be. My DM reskinned it for our final Pathfinder session, and one of the PCs still nearly killed it in a single turn. Also, he let Talia turn into one, so maybe Pathfinder is just bullshit? Regardless, the Tarrasque has one of those simple, iconic designs. I've heard rumors it was based on the concept art for Fallout's deathclaws, and like the Gigan-figure, I can't verify this in any way. With its reptilian features, twin horns, spiny carapace and grabby fingies, it has an undeniable lizardlike quality that I can't help but find charming. Kinda feels like a more refined version of Zilla? Though for an insatiable eating machine, I notice a lot of artists give it very little belly to work with. Come on, this guy eats entire cities! Give him somewhere to put it! Rust monster - An icon of icons, the rust monster! Drawing its origin from a bizarre Chinese "dinosaur" toy, later designs have made it more insectoid in appearance, but never feeling QUITE like anything Earthly. It's the four limbs. Between the four limbs and the tail, it's hard to tell if it's an arthropod mimicking a vertebrate or the other way around. I'm pretty sure this is part of what inspired my ossaderm creatures for Fronterra. Also, Ryla can turn into one in our campaign. I have no shortage of havoc to wreak when the opportunity comes. Behir - Dragons in D&D are kind of... extra. Godlike beings, paragons of whatever personality trait they represent. Whenever there's something uber powerful in D&D, it gets compared to dragons. It makes them kind of unapproachable. Behirs provide all the essentials of a dragon - Serpentine body, scaly skin, horns, sapience, breath weapon, taste for human flesh - wrapped up in a smaller, weirder, IMO cooler package. You know, your Lambton Worms. A lot easier to port in and out of adventures, a lot less of an event when they show up, but still a formidable force in their own right. I like the behir. The behir knows how to taunt me just the right amount. Bulette - Another Chinese "dinosaur" figure monster, the bulette is actually another one I associate with Talia. Whenever we faced a problem that didn't have a glaringly and immediately obvious solution, she would turn into a bulette, whether it was for beating up robots, digging through obstacles, trampling smurfs, navigating labyrinths, distracting slashers with cute dog tricks... it was kind of her signature form. But shenanigans aside, the bulette is just an excellent monster. While the "land shark" shtick may be common, there's a lot more going on with the bulette's design. It's rumored to be a mad wizard's creation, as he combined a snapping turtle with an armadillo and mixed in a helping of demon blood to taste. Personally, I always considered that to be a neat little rumor to flesh out the world, but never assumed it to be true. The bulette just feels too naturalistic for that. Like some kind of protomammal or crocodylomorph, or weird triassic monstrosity. Magic and demons and dragons and so on DO affect the ecosystem. I always figured the bulette was just something that evolved to compete in this new biosphere. Owlbear - This one, on the other hand, I fully believe the "mad wizard was bored" explanation. Another chinasaur critter, the owlbear is frequently made fun of. What makes it scarier than a regular bear? It can't fly, so why have owl parts at all? Why trade fangs for a beak in what is at best a latural move? Well, first of all, fuck you, owls are creepy motherfuckers, and that alone is enough to justify it. But secondly, that's part of its charm. Besides some improved vision, the owl DOESN'T make it more dangerous. What makes the owlbear dangerous is that it's an insane, Frankensteinian monstrosity roaming uncontrolled through the wilderness! It doesn't need weaponry, its sheer temperament is enough to make it a worthy opponent. Sure, the practical threat might not be hugely above that of a bear, but storytelling isn't about numbers. Any asshole can go outside and get eaten by a bear. The owlbear is part of this world. The owlbear is a reminder of what magic can do. Someone somewhere actually made this thing, for whatever reason, and now the world is irrevocably changed because of it. Owlbears go beyond practicality. They bring the lore! Also, bears don't have very good eyesight, so the big owl eyes probably make them better hunters. Flumph - Is that a Japanese-style martian? Do we just have aliens in D&D? Dear lord, I love them! Okay, the flumph has got a sizable hatedom. And that hatedom can eat my ass, because the flumph is precious and perfect just the way it is! Flumphs are designed as a sort of sidekick-type creature. They're not very good fighters, but they bring knowledge and lore to the table. Whether they're aliens from some far off star, seeking your aid to prevent catastrophe, or psionic natives of the Underdark eager to bask in your positivity and hopefully stick it to the tyrants they're forced to share real estate with. My group generally treats them as straight up aliens, benevolent but strange. Course, we're all pretty strange, so we get along just fine. Otyugh - Okay so, the aberration creature type implies that this is something from another world that doesn't belong. And yet otyughs, which are aberrations, are an essential part of this world's ecosystem? Okay, I can buy the idea that an alien organism adapted to our world and is now a key part of it. Fronterra's got a TON of that. It just feels like after a point, the otyugh would be considered a beast? Otyughs are great. Every ecosystem needs a decomposer, and every fantasy story needs at least one dive into the sewers. Otyughs provide both, and are intelligent enough to keep the plot moving if it hits a snag. There's always going to be garbage, refuse, carrion, decay, things that need to be broken down and processed. Carrion crawler - The carrion crawler is pretty similar to the otyugh in that it's technically not considered a beast, and therefor must have its origins elsewhere, but feels so integrated into the ecosystem that it just feels like it belongs. They usually can't talk, so they're not just reskinned otyughs, but I still consider them pretty essential. Otyughs find a singular spot where waste is dumped and shovel it down at their leisure, while carrion crawlers skulk through the tunnels, actively seeking their food. The crawler got one of the most radical redesigns on the transition from second to third edition, but I can't really choose a single favorite. The oldschool tentacle-faced cutworm looks like it could be a real animal, while the googly-eyed Halloween decoration feels like it could be from another world, merely having set up shop here. Could there name apply to two wholly different creatures? If so, then I'm not sure which one mine would be considered. I kinda mashed them together into something that doesn't quite feel like either. But I like it for what it is. Maybe I'll sneak it onto Fronterra. Aboleth - Tentacled, telepathic sea creatures who turn humans into slimy minions, who remember everything their race has ever seen, and who are always plotting something behind the scenes. Yeah, the aboleths really crank up the Lovecraft elements. Actually, between the mind flayers, the flumphs and the aboleths, even the most oldschool D&D covered quite a few essential Lovecraftian bases. The flayers are your corrupt yet still recognizable humanoids who can be considered truly evil, the flumphs are benevolent-yet-bizarre guardians who know more than you, and the aboleths are the truly unknowable, sinister intellects. The fact that they can barely function on land honestly only adds to that, IMO. They're inherently difficult for a party to reach, and they offer some nice underwater adventure seeds. Not enough adventures go underwater. There's this perception that the ocean is bad for storytelling because so many writers lack the creativity to make it work. I wanna run an underwater adventure now. Beholder - Icon of icons! THE D&D monster! The beholder! Paranoid, jumpy, always five steps ahead and twenty steps perpendicular! Beholds are fun in just about every way. Between their wacky, diverse designs, their elaborate lairs, their eccentric personalities, their bizarre powers, you're never gonna run out of fun with beholders. Remorhaz - It's always been a thing that bothered me with environment-based monsters. Why does the ice monster who lives in the cold use ice as a weapon? Aren't most of the things it encounters going to be resistant to the cold? Sure, a cone of cold will still kill a polar bear, but a lot of the monsters in the tundra are outright immune to cold. A while dragon's not going to get much use out of its breath weapon fighting frost worms and frost giants. That's one reason the remorhaz sticks out to be. We have an icy tundra beast whose insides are a scorching furnace, which it can intensify and weaponize as it sees fit. Which also conveniently explains why its design - a sort of cobra-esque centipede - invokes warm-weather creatures, despite its icy environment. It's a nice subversion of the usual tropes, plus it's just a memorable, cool looking critter to begin with. On a smaller note, the remorhaz feels like a good loophole for Ryla's "no cold weather morphs" rule. Turning into something elementally affiliated with ice is no good, but a non-magical monster that survives the cold by superheating its insides? That seems perfectly viable to me!

#RiftWitch #My art #D&D #DND #Dungeons & Dragons #D&D monsters #Purple worm #hook horror #mind flayer #illithid #bulette #froghemoth #tarrasque #rust monster #behir #owlbear #flumph #carrion crawler #aboleth #beholder #remorhaz

[mrneighbourlove]

Band of Pirates: Ch 1. Next Stop, Hyrule

“Captain. We’re coming up to Hyrule now.”

“Aye. That’s good. Our pursuers? They catching up?”

“We’d have to ten minutes into shore before they’d catch us.”

“Ok. Redd. I’ll watch the little ones. You need to go up to the crows’ nest and fire and S.O.S flair towards the shoreline. Hopefully the rich land of Hyrule can give us assistance. Or Captain Corsaire if we were actually right about his location.”

“As you command Captain.” The Gerudo on the small ship scrambled about. They were not about to go extinct here.

~

On the shoreline of Hyrule, fishermen were working hard to become acquainted with the new Lorliedian refugees. This new union of traditional work and magic for wishing was taking some work. Coming around a corner they saw a ship on fire.

“What the-“

A viewers moment was cut short when he saw an emergency flare go off. Quickly, he rushed to find any sailors that could assist.

Corsaire was rather enjoying his new occupation. King Ganondorf and Queen Zelda had presented him with the task of building Hyrule's first navy. He was now the Admiral of the Hylian Navy. It was rather strange to think this was part of the condition of him marrying Orana. First, he had to give up piracy, second, he had to command their navy, and third, he has to present himself as an honorable man to their daughter. Supposedly, he passed the test with flying colors... or either the elder blonde prince was pulling his leg. The man liked to have a bit of faith in Orana's intimidating family. Of course, he was able to barter for his crew as well. Rat worked in the smithy with Asakonigei and helped teach the rookies how to wrestle. Acrobat was tasked with making rope for the new ships being built. Pockets aided Orana in running her animal sanctuary. Mojo and Juju both decided to run the trade routes, that way, the brothers could stop at the Firdosa Islands and see their family more often than not. Bomba oversaw the production of gunpowder for the canons. Everything was running smoothly...

Until someone started screaming fire.

The newly promoted Admiral hurried down the docks, seeing the ship on fire. Ordering the sailors left and right, he managed to take out one of the recently constructed ships, the Siren's Allure, to the one calling for help.

When the Allure came close, a bell was furiously run by a young Gerudo woman with gold trimmed hat and long flowing red hair. “Everyone jump aboard! Everyone jump aboard! Scarlet! Get your ass out of the nest!” Smoke was everywhere and fire was starting to take apart the integrity of the ship.

Corsaire maneuvered the ship close enough for the women to come aboard. He had his sailors lay down thick boards to where some could walk over to the deck. A few swung from ropes and others had the agility to jump from ledge to ledge. "Those of you who need a medic head below deck! Those of you who are fine and dandy, do a head count! Make sure everyone is safe!"

Scarlet jumped aboard first. Finally, Adda joined them. With three Gerudo babies attached under her arms in slings. “Make way!”

Once everyone was on board, and he had confirmation, Corsaire led his ship back to the bay and docked it. "... now you're a face that I didn't expect to see around these parts." He addressed Adda. "I have to admit, it's pretty ballsy of you to come into port after what you did to the Danjuran Prince."

“Prick had it coming. I really mean it when I say it’s good to see you Captain Corsaire.” Looking around, the man could see she had a significantly smaller crew this time around; 11 woman in total.

"I hate to sound all doom and gloom, but what happened?" Corsaire asked Adda point blank. "Your ship is now at the bottom of the sea, your crew is severely diminished, and---" A wail from one of the babies interrupted him. "... you're a mom?"

Adda smirked, hiding something deep down. “Where’s Rat? Need to ask him something.”

Corsaire sensed trouble. "He's not here. At least, not at the moment." Corsaire motioned for the ladies to follow him. "As Admiral of the Hylian Navy, it is my duty to ensure you are cared for, as far as injuries and a place to stay for this night. Then, you will be on your own. I don't know what you are going to do since your ship went down in flames, but I'd advise against you stealing one of these unless you want a bullet."

“Admiral of a navy? Who’d ya fuck to get that position?”Adda teasingly tapped his crotch before looking back with a glance at her crew to see how they were holding up. “Perhaps you can send the reptilian marauders chasing us to hell for an old friend, eh?”

"I married Princess Orana Dragmire." Corsaire swatted her hands away from being too touchy. "And unfortunately, I am not to engage any other ships in port unless said ship fires upon us first."

On que, the monsters did just that. “Corsaire. There are some people that’d commit genocide to have me dead.”

Outside, a pirate ship of Dinolfos and Aerolfos screeched with bloodshed as they were motivated on by their leader, Captain Eltontor. “Leave no ship unsunk! I’ll see that redheaded Siren singing her last swan song on this day!”

Grumbling under his breath, the Admiral started barking orders left and right. While the Hylian navy was just getting started, the defenses in the port were top notch since that incident with the kraken. It was not long before a barrage of cannons was firing upon the ship.

Adda directed her ladies to help dismantle the lizards in any way they could. Joining Corsaire up on the bridge, she handed her babies off to him. “Excuse me. I need to do something personal.”

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Corsarie rushed after Adda, stopping the woman in her tracks. "There's no way in hell I'm watching these brats." He handed the kids back to the pirate. "And you can't step foot out of the port without risking being arrested."

“Mother fucker, yes you will!” She shoved the babies back, and this time, one of the Gerudo pirates held Corsaire firmly to hold him in place. Grabbing a rifle from one of her crew, Adda looked down the scope, scanning the chaos on the monsters ship. Aerolfos were being shot down or snatched up by one particular and hungry dragon in the sky. The rest of the lizards were running about to exchange cannon fire. When she saw Eltontor a deep wrath boiled in her soul, icing her concentration.

“The fleshies are no match for us! Concentrate fire on—— ZIIIP!!!”

A single bullet from Adda traveled across the sea between them and went in and out the crocodile’s right eye and brain. With a wet slump the monster went down, bringing more chaos to his crew. Snarling, Adda thrust the gun to one of Corsaire’s men. It was a start, but not the source of her anger. “Die yee bastards.”

As soon as the pirate had Corsaire in her hold, guns were drawn. Every single one of Corsaire's men had pistols lined up to fire, pointing at the heads of the Gerudo women and Adda. No one would touch the Admiral. Most of the men were convicts given a second chance thanks to the Admiral. A few he had rescued from a bad situation. Others, he gave them a job when no one else would. He had built his navy on loyalty. "... Adda. I'm going to very politely ask you to cease this nonsense and let my men and women handle this." Corsaire stated calmly, trying to avoid a shootout. "I don't want anyone else hurt."

Adda didn’t budge at the guns in her face as she lined up her shot and fired for the kill. Once she had her carnage satisfied, she relaxed. “Sorry. Girls. Stand down.” Adda gently took the three babies back, closing her eyes to rest for a moment. “That was something personal I had to do.”

"Personal or not, you need to think rationally in these parts. You're not on your ship, in charge of things, anymore." Corsaire gave her a fair warning. "And you need to think of the safety of your kids first."

“Well, that’s why I sought you out actually.” When someone shot to close to her girls, causing one to cry, Adda put all herself control into not kicking the man in the ass. “Can- can we go somewhere safe? Inland preferably?”

"Unless you want to get arrested, I'd advise you staying at the Rickety Inn in port." Corsaire told Adda, but looked at her crew. "All of you. And you," He pointed to Scarlet once more. "If you punch Seer like you did last time, I'll kick your ass."

“Arrested?! I don’t have any bounties in Hyrule!”

Scarlet flinched, not wanting to give rise to any more problems. With the fighting settling down, she took hold of one of the babies. “No sir Admiral sir.”

"Bounties or not, Danjur has close ties with Hyrule and if someone recognizes you, it will cause trouble. Don't make me regret being nice to you." Corsaire handed Adda a small pouch full of rupees. "This should be enough for you and your girls. I'd advise you be looking to move at first light."

“You owe use more than that.” Adda frowned as she glanced at the amount of rupees she got.

"The Rickety Inn knows me; they'll give you decent boarding for all of you in double beds for 50 rupees. Give them my name and that's money for food. Cheap grub there, I can feed my whole crew for 30 rupees." Corsaire scoffed, opening the bag, showing her. "It's three gold rupees, you ingrate. There's enough left over for the little ones to get diapers and such, and a few of you need new clothes." He gestured to a few of the women who were wearing rags. "I'm missing an arm, Adda, not blind."

“It’s not money you owe me. It’s a better place to go.” She had to play this card now or she might lose the opportunity. “Our first mates made a baby together.”

"...!" Corsaire was surprised by this news, but he took it with a grain of salt. "Listen, I'm not trying to insinuate names here, but you told me yourself that your girls have slept with multiple Voes." He was not going to be part of this argument. "I can put a bug in Rat's ear, but that's all. I don't want any trouble near the castle. The Rickety Inn is as good as it is going to get for now, until I can find out that all of you won't be arrested, shot at, or just thrown to the dungeons."

“And Scarlets the biggest maiden on ship. Trust me, it’s theirs. Maybe you can throw a good word for me towards the Queen and King. Probably got information they can use.”

"I will see what I can do, but I have very little power in the courts of royals, even though I married their daughter." Corsaire looked at the tiny girl that Scarlet was holding, yawning widely with those adorable eyes fluttering shut. "For now, for the love of the sea, please lay low."

~ At the Rickety Inn, Adda and her crew finally had a moment to catch their breath after a few weeks of chaos, hell, and death. An hour of reflection, tears, a few screams, and silence. For Adda, in private, she hurt the most. She lost her treasure, her power, but most importantly, her family. 80% of her crew, gone in a flash.

After breast feeding her babies, she found the woman gathered in the mess hall. Although they had the whole port to explore, they didn’t want to leave one another. Hinkel, Robertta, Freddy, Jasmine, Claire, Zaranna, Sabrina, Foster, Miranda, and Scarlet. They were all that was left.

A somber mood filled the air. Adda adjusted her hat, and gritted her teeth. She was their leader. It was her duty to uplift them. “Ladies... stand up.” All the Gerudo did so, their attention on her now.

“I’m sorry. I failed you. I was supposed to lead us to promise and glory. And I failed you.” Grabbing a pint of beer, she started to chug it down. “We lost our family in the power struggle. Lost it to some fucken nightmare beasts of hell.” Slamming the glass down, she looked them all deep in the eye. “But they made one mistake. They didn’t kill us all.”

The women glanced around each other, nodding.

“We Gerudo know death. We embrace it. Because we’re warriors. And better, use pirates know glory.” Her tone rose, and she pointed around the room. “As your Captain, your Chieftan, and your friend, I promise you this. Those bastards might have won today, and they might sneer at us and enjoy the spoils tomorrow, but there will come a day where we shall have our revenge! We will tear fiends apart, and carve our own empire to glorious salvation! So, I say this, a toast! A toast to our fallen sisters! And promise that in this lifetime, we will see them avenged!!!”

The stupor the Gerudo were in was replaced by adrenaline. With a mighty cheer, they raised their fists to the sky. As drinks were ordered around, they began to have a celebration the port would never regret of drinking, songs, and hope.

It was not long after news ran wild in the ports, that a few crew members of the Sea Witch decided to see some familiar faces. "LADIES!!!" Bomba kicked opened the door to the inn, slicking back his hair. "Who missed me?!"

"Bomba, shuddup." Rat bonked the young man on the head with his knuckles. "Be a-nice, these ladies have just gone through a-hard time."

"I think they might be looking for something hard."

"BOMBA."

"Let him have his fun, it's been ages since he probably got laid anyway." Seer remarked dryly as Corsaire led him into the Rickety Inn. "And pray tell, why did you bring me here?"

"I told you, because Adda's brood is here." Corsaire told his brother-in-arms. "I thought you might like to see her---damn it, I thought you might like her company again."

"Nice, Cap'n."

"It's Admiral now."

"I doubt Adda even remembers me." Seer was not too full of confidence. "Well, we'll find out, won't we?"

"And you thought I'd miss this shit-show?" Orana hung on the back of her husband's shoulders. "Friends of yours from back in the day?"

"Friends with bene-HMPH!!!" Bomba was silenced by Rat's hand over his mouth. "Just acquaintances."

Some the Gerudo actually smiled seeing the runt again. “Bomba!!!”

Scarlet paused her dinner seeing Rat, quick to set her food down and walk up to him. Seemed she had some more confidence now. “Mousa!”

"See? Dey remember the hot stuff." Bomba remarked with a smug smirk. "Couldn't get enough of me."

"They remember the short stuff." Seer snorted. "Short and to the point."

"Hey! I'mma fun-sized all over!" Bomba huffed indignantly. "You's just jealous."

"Sure, jealous of a pint-size."

"Get ya head outta the flour clouds, you's know I'mma good at what I do; making a bang in two different ways." Bomba chuckled with a grin. "In the canons and in the bed."

"... remind me how you put up with him all these years, Cap'n?" Rat asked Corsaire with a roll of his eyes.

"I contemplate homicide everyday, but remind myself of the benefits of having him around." Corsaire mused as Orana stood at his side. "These were the Gerudo pirates I told you about."

"It's odd seeing more Gerudo women... well, so many in one place." Orana admitted. "We honestly thought Cass might be one of the last."

As soon as Scarlet obtained Rat's attention, the ex-gladiator smiled. "Aye, there's me pretty lassie."

“Pretty?” Scarlet blushed, trying to not to become timid. “I missed you a ton you know.”

Adda smiled ear to ear and gave a hardy laugh when she saw Orana. “Rrrr! So, you’re the fine lass that broke through this fool’s heart ey? Pleasure to meet you. I’m Captain Adda. But if you don’t like titles, we can go by first names.”

"Course you's pretty." Rat assured her. "Buffest, prettiest, strongest lady on the ship." "The crew calls me Missy Orana, my subjects call me Princess Orana, and my husband calls me Spitfire."

Orana shrugged her shoulders with a laugh. "You can just call me Orana. I have too many titles."

“Well you really are a spitfire. Join us. Was about to have my first drink of the night.” Scarlet, grabbed Rat by the hands and pulled him in for a kiss. “Can you follow me Mousa? I got something important to show you.”

"Oh, no, no, no, I can't drink, not tonight." Orana declined. "I have to check on my newest addition; a female Molagani tiger. She got caught in a poacher's trap and lost her back hind leg. Got to make sure she gets acclimated to the sanctuary."

"NRRRROOOOORRRRWWW!!!"

Mahaan was never too far behind his mistress. The huge Molagani tiger chuffed as he walked into the inn, earning a few startled looks before Orana scratched his head, earning a purr from the creature. He flicked his tail, watching the people around him closely.

"And, of course, take this big baby home. He's been mooching off the fish vendors all day."

"Nyaaaah."

"Yes, you have."

"Mrrrow!"

"No, you've had enough."

"Mew!"

"No, be good."

"Nnnnrrrnnn."

"Don't worry, he's a softie. Most of the time." Seer patted Mahaan's head.

"To show me?" Rat repeated. "What to show me?"

Adda sulked throwing a friendly arm around Orana. “Listen, to put a long story short I lost all my drinking buddies. Heard rumours of a Gerudo legend that out drank Corsaire muttered amongst many a sailors in just the last year! I don’t suppose that would be you?”

"Indeed, that was the grand 'Missy Orana', my crew deemed her, and she had her head stuck in a bucket for the whole next day." Corsaire snickered, earning a scowl from his wife.

"It was the only way I could get him to take me to the kraken's nest and he procrastinated that task too." Orana pouted.

“Have just one drink with me? Chicken if you don’t.”

"Classic guilt trip and reverse psychology move, but I'm passing." Orana kissed Corsaire on the cheek. "Don't be too long. You have a meeting with Ralnor and Covarog tomorrow to discuss the expansion on the north side of the port."

"Urgh, don't remind me." Corsaire groaned. "Your brothers don't like me."

"My brothers are just overprotective."

“Booooo.” Adda tossed Orana a rupee with a wink. “I’ll save my drinking till you’re ready then.”

"You really shouldn't drink anyhow, Adda," Orana reminded the woman. "Alcohol can go into breastmilk." She tipped the pirate's hat down as she waved goodbye to her husband. "See you later for dinner."

Finally taking Rat to a private room, Scarlet fumbled with the hotel keys. “Think it was this one.”

Rat, on the other hand, was wondering if Scarlet had something romantic planned.

Opening the door to the room, Scarlet completely blindsided him. Picking up a sleeping baby, she held her close as she approached Rat. “Mousa. I’d like you to meet your daughter. Revy.”

Rat was expecting any bedroom activity, and a baby was the last thing on his mind. Jaw slightly agape, he tried to think of what to say. He was speechless. Logic told him that the Gerudo ladies liked to sleep around and he should be skeptical. Though, he did not think Scarlet was the type to lie. That was more of Adda's game.

"You... you's serious? Not pulling me fish hook?"

“I am. I really, really am.” Scarlet lightly shook with excitement. “Would like to hold her?”

"... she's... she's so tiny." Rat looked unsure of himself. "Me hands awful large. I don't want to hurt her."

“And mine aren’t?” Very, very carefully, Scarlet placed Revy into Rat’s arms to be cradled. She slept like a pearl.

"Scarlet, me's going to be honest with you. Me's never had a... childhood. A good one." Rat carefully used a single finger to brush some of the little one's hair from her face. "Not sure if I's going to be proper father material."

“Hey. Half my life I’ve been a pirate. Not the safest life, but I had a family with my crew. I grew up around mothers of all kinds. I can pick up the slack.” Scarlet paused for a moment. “Do you want to be a parent with me?”

"If... if we's going to be parents, then we's need to do this right, Scarlet." Rat told the Gerudo woman. "A mama has to be there for her child. She can't go off galivanting on the high seas. You understand what it means if you want to be a-parent with me?"

“I do.” Scarlet looked down at Revy, a sad look on her face. “I don’t have anything to gallivant to Mousa. Even if I wanted too...”

"I suppose, what me's saying is you are gonna have to a-put this wee one first," Rat stated, trying not to sound too harsh. "Not Adda."

“Well, Adda’s got her twins to look after now.” Scarlet snickered at the thought. Was still surprising to her that Adda wanted to keep them.

"Twins?" Rat repeated. "I's... assuming Seer is not the father?"

“No. He’s not. They ain’t blue.” Carefully, Revy was placed back in her cradle with her blinds closed. “You didn’t answer my question. You want to help me raise our daughter?”

"Course I do. Yet, like me said, I's wanting to do it proper." Rat then asked her suddenly. "Marry me."

Scarlet had her arms around his waist, but her face was blushing with surprise. “Just like that?”

"Sorry." Rat was flustered himself. "Tis not the most appealing way to propose to a lady."

“I do. But ask me again when you can make it so.” Scarlet pulled Rat down for a deep kiss, pushing him onto the bed room. “Girls made fun of me for waiting for you. I think it was worth the wait.”

"Psh, dey's just jealous cause you's got a man that can lift you and dey don't." Rat boasted. "And taller too."

“I could lift you too you know.” Pulling her top off, Scarlet pressed closer. “You gonna rock the inn with me?”

"We won't wake Reveka?" Rat asked, glancing at the snoozing baby in the basinet.

“She’ll sleep like a rock. Now...” she kissed him slowly, taking off his shirt. “Indulge me.”

~

Down at the bar, Adda trimmed the rim of her rum, thinking about what Orana said. Damn it all, she was right. Talk about a great mental space to have kids. Noticing Corsaire and Seer sitting down at a table, she sat down with them. “Hey Seer. Long time no see.”

"Like I haven't heard that one before---oh, look! Free beer!" Seer quickly pointed in the opposite direction of Adda's voice to make her look. Then, he grinned like an idiot. "Got ya."

‘You are an idiot’, an inner voice in her head told her. Shrugging it off, she smiled at him. “Not fair. I can’t drink. And I really, really, really want to.”

"You have to make sacrifices for your children." Corsaire was surprisingly mature about the whole idea of kids, but he did not want to take care of someone else's brats. He did want children with Orana one day, but right now, she was barely into her twenties. It was difficult enough trying to get Bomba to behave, and he always had to watch after his younger sisters and brother when he was a teenager. "Get a virgin strawberry daiquiri and be happy."

"Who's the father, Adda? Did you meet someone?" Seer asked. "I overheard the girls whispering that you found a hunk."

“A perfect man and a demon he couldn’t control.” Adda smirked, playing it cool. “Couldn’t let someone who couldn’t keep a lid on himself around my babies, now could I. Bartender! I’ll take the virgins!”

“Damn right you will~” One of her crew replied, getting a hooray from them.

Seer was not the biggest fan of drinking. He absolutely refused to do drugs. He was hoping his captain would take him away from this... triggering area. Luckily, Corsaire was able to sense Seer's discomfort. After bidding the women farewell, he locked arms with Seer and escorted him out of the bar. Rat could find his own way home.

“Wait, hold up!” Adda ran out after them, with her non alcoholic beverage in hand. “Don’t you want to actually catch up?” Adda actually sounded desperate. Just for a slight moment in her voice, despite what her body language showed.

"Are you speaking to me or the captain? I mean, admiral?" Seer asked Adda, turning around at the sound of her voice.

“Both?... You Seer? I mean, lot has clearly changed for all of us since we last saw one another.”

"As much as I love to catch up, I need to get home to my wife." Corsaire told Adda honestly. "I work enough as it is and I don't want Orana to feel like I'm ignoring her." "That's fine, go see Missy Orana, I know she misses you." Seer assured his friend.

“And you Seer? You got some amazing knock out with all her shit in a box waiting for you too?”

"Heh, I wish, but I've been working in the castle's kitchen to save up money to buy my own place." Seer admitted to Adda. "So, if I stay, I'll have to leave in a little while. I prepare breakfast for everyone, so I can't be late."

“Ok....” Adda smiled with sadness in her eyes, then a deep burden hit her and she crashed. “I... oh fuck this. I can’t drag you both into my fucking mistakes. I’m sorry. No. Forget you heard that. I- .... Maybe tomorrow then. Get me that all clear to come inland Corsaire. It was good seeing you too Seer. Got some babies to look after.” Turning heel, she stomped away back to her room not too far away.

"You know if you want someone to talk to, I'll listen." Seer called after Adda.

"Seer, you shouldn't get involved." Corsaire murmured to him. "It's old news, you shouldn't concern yourself."

"She just wants someone to talk to."

"I'd like that." Adda took his hand, quickening her pace to lead him to her room.

"Whoa!" Seer was surprised by her sudden tug, but allowed himself to be led to her room. The people here knew him and there would be someone to help him find his way to the castle later. "I just have to be back in the morning, so I'm not goign to drink or such."

Closing the door, she turned around and kissed him on the lips. She wasn't touchy with her hands on his body, and it came across as rather sweet. "That's my way of saying hello again."

"...?!" Seer was definitely surprised by the kiss. He was not expecting that, or any affections. It had been a long while. "I... honestly thought you probably forgot about me."

"Hey. It's only been shy of a year. No one's been really as sweet as you. And you were the last sweet thing to ever happen to me."

"Now I think you're just flattering me." Seer chuckled, feeling slightly embarrassed. "That was a nice night."

"It was. With all that's happened, it'd been easier if I had your babies instead, I think."

Now that comment really made Seer blush heavily. "I... um... that... uh... thanks?"

Heading to the twins’ crib, Adda rocked them gently. "Seer. Do you have any history with kids?"

"I... sometimes helped the ladies who had children at the brothel." Seer admitted, not liking the fact that the ladies were usually referred to as whores. Most of them were slaves, and could not control their occupation. He heard one of the babies coo. "I was good at feeding them or rocking them to sleep. Most of them were hesitant to let me care for them since I could not see."

"I wish I had a good mother. Good sister figures in the crew, but never good parents." Adda kept the slow rocking up. "Seer. How much knowledge did Corsaire share with you about different pirate clans? I know this is a very big world, so I wouldn't be surprised if you don't know."

"I don't know much. I just know there's a few different ones that have their own area they lurk in." Seer thought about some of Corsaire's stories. "That reptile boss from that set of gambling joints, the Gerudo ladies, the Firdosan Islanders that like to raid other pirates and cruise ships..."

"... I lost the Wind Waker Seer."

"... you lost it?" Seer repeated. "... I have a feeling I shouldn't ask how, but I'm going to."

"Same way I lost my spot in the war. To that demon on leather wings. Terror of the Sky and Sea: Onslaught." Adda stopped rocking the crib, her body going stone still. "I was still learning how to use the Wind Waker. I heard word of an ancient stone tablet that could give me the right song to tear ships from the water. I would have one the war for the seas in with just a stroke of my wrist. But I had a fucking turncoat that betrayed me and gave my location away to him."

"Onslaught..." Seer had heard rumors of that horrid dragon around port. "I'm... sorry that happened, Adda. Though, I hate to sound like the voice of reason, but... should you really be fighting now that you're a mother?"

"I thought I could quell the fighting to give my babies a bright future. Instead, I had nearly all my people killed or enslaved."

"We all make mistakes, Adda, but the bright side of all this is you're alive, your babies are all right, and you brought the rest of your crew to safety." Seer tried to help her see the positive outlook. "I know you're feeling down right now, but the only way you have to go from here is up. Try to build a good life for yourself and your babies. Forget about being a pirate, and focus on being a mom."

"My whole life is being a pirate. I have crew to look after. You think Corsaire would abandon you at your lowest point?"

"I didn't say abandon anyone, Adda." Seer told her with a firm voice. "I'm saying, you have other priorities now. Take your sisters, find somewhere to settle down, and make a good living without being on the high seas in danger all the time. Corsaire would never abandon us, no, but he'd never willingly put us in danger either. Sometimes, it was unavoidable, but Corsaire looked out for us. Found us all jobs once he married Orana. We're all brothers to him. So do the same for your sisters. Let them be happy and you be happy."

"They'll be the most happy if I give them Onslaught's head."

"You sure about that? I'd ask them first." Seer sniffed the air a couple of times and then scrunched his nose. "Scarlet, for example. The one who broke my nose."

"You still on about that?" Adda looked at him, a wrath in her eyes he couldn't see, but could feel in her voice. "All of us agreed. We will do our part in killing the bastard and avenging our people. And I have a hunch that your Captain and the King of this land will want to help my quest."

"I'm blind, not deaf, and I rarely forget something that hurts. Had enough broken bones and bruises to recall." Seer heard the bitterness in her voice. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but for the sake of these little ones," The Direnor gently felt inside of the crib, brushing his fingers across the twins' foreheads. "I'd suggest you let it go. If this Onslaught is as nasty as they come, he'll use them against you. It's your job as a mom to keep your kids safe---hey now, I need that back." Seer told the twin known as Liz when she grabbed his finger. "Strong one, aren't you?"

"Even in her sleep, she likes you." Adda shook her head with a light sigh. "This Onslaught will come after me regardless. It's my duty to destroy him. As for my girls... I have to provide for them somehow."

"You could just ask the Lorleidian Queen for reinforcements instead of putting yourself at risk. Ask nicely. Humbly. Make your case." Seer stated, emphasizing the word nice. He knew how Adda could come across. "She has dragons, you know. And as far as providing for your girls, there's always help needed in restaurants. The Farmer's Daughter is the most popular joint on this side and needs good waitresses. The old matron watches the little ones in exchange for a few rupees while you work. It's not the best job, but it's good, honest work. She even has a boarding area for the girls that work for her."

"A waitress? So someone can grope my ass? I know how Hryule treats Gerudo. I won't take any less than a position under a royal umbrella."

"You honestly think they'll just let anyone into the castle?" Seer asked her dryly. "Let me guess, you want to guard the queen with that creepy Commander Klinge? Cater to Missy Orana? Play dress up with Princess Kanisa?"

"I don't know! All I know is I'm not some peasant. I deserve better! My girls deserved better! My crew deserved better!!!" Adda nearly roared, shaking her head with discomfort at the situation. "I don't have a lover, I don't have anyone from the outside who seems to want to help me!"

"Hey, hey, hey, shh, shh, you're upsetting the kids!" Seer heard the twins whine in their crib and gently shook the sides so it would rock. Once the whining ceased, Seer released a breath of relief. He could not stand crying, it always tugged at his heart strings. "I'm trying to help you if you'd just let me! Good gracious, woman, not everyone gets finery handed to them on a silver platter. You should know as well as I do that you have to work for it. I suggested what work I knew of, if working in a restaurant isn't good enough, then you can look for yourself." Fixing the blanket on the twins, the blind man then carefully started to walk in the direction of the door. "You're not queen here anymore, Adda. If you want my help, then give them my name at Farmer's Daughter. It's owned by Lon Lon Milk, a local farming ranch. It's a good place. After all, I should know," Seer said before he stepped out of the room. "I cooked there before I went to the castle." Then shut the door.

Adda sat fell back onto the bed. There were no stars in the night sky. Just a cage. Once again, the voice in her head fed her doubts. ‘No one will come to truly care for you’.

________________________________________________________________

It’s a brand new AU! Hope that you will enjoy it! @ridersoftheapocalypse and I made it in mind for our friend @s-kinnaly. That Adda-Seer ship you for you buddy. Will also be other retellings sprinkled in, so stayed tuned! 

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/633413002943758336/band-of-pirates-ch-2-game-plan

#AU #Legend of Zelda #Crossover #ridersoftheapocalypse #Captain Adda #Corsaire #Rat #Scarlet #Seer

[moongothic]

You know I was wondering if Crocodile ever did have any kind of involvement with the Revolutionary Army in secret (lest the Government finds out and revokes his Shichibukai status), what kind of involvement would that even have been

And now, with both the Vegapunk/Ohara flashback and Kuma's flashback, it's being made very clear to us that the Revolutionary Army was broke as hell 22 years ago. Like the fact that this has been brought up twice now in a relatively short span of time is interesting to me, that's usually a sign it's not an unimportant plotpoint

But you know who would have had money to help fund the Army

A funny little warlord who would eventually go and build a fucking casino to run for funsies. A warlord who had to give the Government some of his Pirating Income to keep his warlord-status

Like Crocodile hated the Government anyways so why not help fund the Revolutionary Army in secret, out of spite if for no other reason

Vaguely related, but I keep on remembering this scene (post-Enies Lobby), which at first glance just seems like a basic Lore Dump

But then there's the

"Yet..."

(Or "however", she says "no ni" in Japanese and you could translate that in many ways, I would probably have gone with "however" but that wouldn't have fit into the speechbubble)

Mind you, the conversation just kind of ends there, next we see Garp realize he probably shouldn't have mentioned Dragon infront of such a massive audience, so wherever that "yet" was going to lead to we will never find out, because Oda conveniently changed the subject before we got to it

And you know. Like yes, Robin could be just expressing her shock over finding out that the leader of the Revolutionary Army had a child with someone

But also, Robin was a part of an organization that was trying to overthrow one of the founding countries of the World Government in an explicit attempt to go against said Government (compared to like, Blackbeard, who currently wants to make Fullalead into a "pirate country" that's a part OF the World Government)

Like you don't have to be a genius to look at Crocodile's ultimate goals and compare that to what Dragon is doing and find a few similarities here and there maybe

(Also like, Crocodile's equivalent in Romancing SaGa 2 is meant to be Wagnas, the queer-coded leader of the Seven Heroes (whom the OG Shichibukai are based on) who "hoped to help the world". You know, an interesting detail and all.)

Not to mention, during the time Robin spent with Baroque Works, if Crocodile was ever in contact with the Revolutionary Army at all, considdering she has the ability to easily spy on people and that she didn't trust Crocodile one bit, it wouldn't be unsurprising if she ever spied on Crocodile and/or just overheard a phone call or knew about Crocodile having secret spending habits or something

(Mind you, I'm not saying "she knew" Crocodile was involved with the Revolutionaries, more that she might've been Suspecting Things, that "yet" being about her connecting the dots while unsure if her conclusion was right or not)

Of course Crocodile's plans can't have been Dragon Approved by any means, especially considdering the Army had been looking for Robin for over 10 years (pre-timeskip)

Four years of which were with Crocodile. Like if he was FULLY allied with the Army and KNEW they were looking for Robin, surely he would've called Dragon and been like "hey I found the kid from Ohara, wanna come hang out" or something. But no, he had bigger plans and kept Robin a secret from the Revolutionaries and the Government alike

Also like, I have seen people question why the Revolutionaries weren't involved with Alabasta's rebellion at all, and "Oda hadn't come up with the Revolutionaries yet at the time of writing" (/"OP was meant to end at Alabasta at one point so there would've been no reason to introduce the subplot at that point") aside Between Baroque Works being a secret organization working undercover (thus the Army might not have been aware of the civil war being manufactured), the framing of the King making him look bad and very much the type of monarch that deserved to be overthrown in the Army's eyes, and Crocodile maybe lying through his teeth about what was happening in the country... Yeah, the Army's lack of involvement with Alabasta suddenly makes sense

EDIT Minor addition: Just realized that because Crocodile was technically working for the Government, if the Revs ever did send forces to participate in Alabasta's civil army and taking down the throne, the Government could've easily ordered Crocodile to step in to stop the rebellion and take down the Revolutionaries, right? Because he was supposed to be on the Government's side, right? And surely the Army wouldn't have wanted to fight against Crocodile if they were secretly allied (Croc's secret betrayal aside), and if Crocodile refused to fight the Revs the Government could've seen that as a reason to revoke his Shichibukai rights (which wouldn't be great if they wanted to keep Crocodile in a position where he could fund the Army?). So it could've also been a case of it being for the best for everyone's sake to let this one play out "naturally"

But my point is

I'm just deeply intriqued by these little details and wonder if I'm Actually Masterfully Connecting The Dots Like a True Genius or just seeing a pattern where there's none. Like this is far from confirming the theory, I'm just saying, the pieces do kinda fit together do they not

#Moon posting #OP spoilers #chapter 1097 #I'm just saying Crocodile being the Revolutionary Army's Secret Sugar Daddy would be hysterical #Not me having to tag this as OP spoilers because of one and a half panels from the latest chapter lmao #Also Croc and Iva knew each other etc etc everybody remembers that I don't need to point it out #((Although in Impel Down Iva-chan does actually tell Bon-chan about Crocodile being imprisoned at Level 6)) #((Saying ''he's crazy too in his own way''. Which is an interesting comment. IDK what to make of it. But it's there)) #((Like Level 5.5 was able to access news from outside Impel Down to the point they knew Bon-chan had worked under Crocodile)) #((To the point Iva-chan was like ''weren't you and Strawhat enemies''. So like. IDK I'm just Intriqued)) #You could also make an argument that this could also tie into Crocodile's good ol' trust issues #'Cause if his involvement with the Army was ever found out he'd have his Shichibukai Rights revoked etc #Also interestingly the Kuma flashback has very much skipped completely the period of time during Luffy was born #Going from the founding of the Army 22 years ago to Ginny's kidnapping 14 years ago #Crocodad Real etc (jk) #You know the derangement is bad when I look at one irrelevant line of dialogue and go like ''is this about my blorbo'' #OP Meta

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #343

“i slither like a viper and get you by the neck  /  i know a thousand ways to help you forget about her”

What's your favorite kind of bear? I don't really know. I just like bears. Have you ever sent a FWD because you were afraid? Ha, yup, as a little kid. Would you ever date more than one person at a time? Nooooo sir. Have you ever rebounded... or been someone's rebound? No. What’s the biggest argument you’ve ever had with a family member? Did things ever go back to how they were beforehand? My grandmother cursed me the fuuuuck out one night as a kid because I was in a mood and didn't tell my mother goodnight. I still remember being called an ungrateful bitch with her like an inch from my face, and admittedly, I was being rude because I wanted to go home, but it kinda scarred me for life. For the remainder of her life, I was always sort of on edge around her and was convinced she didn't like me. Have you ever experienced some kind of natural disaster? I've been through lots of hurricanes. None that massively affected my life, though. If you have pets, do you feed them human food or do they just get regular pet food? If they do get human food, what’s their favorite thing to have? Venus is a snake, so she obviously doesn't get food meant for humans. Roman is very well-trained to not beg or make a move for people's food; he tried once as a kitten, and giving him a pop taught him right away. Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who won? No. What’s the mode of transport that you take or use the most? The car. Mom's, specifically. Have you ever had a zoo keeper experience or anything where you’ve been able to go behind the scenes and look after/feed the animals? No, but I wish. :( Would you ever want the responsibility of being a politician or a similar position of power? NOOOOOOO. What’s something your parents do that really annoys you? Mom is *always* right, pretty much indisputably. And she WILL have the last word. Dad, meanwhile, can be pretty rude to people. I don't think he realizes it half the time, but still. It's not an excuse. What is your main source of anxiety? Social interactions. What’s your favorite 90s cartoon? Pokemon. Describe the moment you realized you were falling in love with someone. I'd rather not. What’s your favorite sparkling water brand/flavor? I've never tried sparkling water. What’s your favorite makeup brand/brands? I don't have a favorite, considering I don't wear it nearly enough and have never even bought my own. I just use whatever Mom buys. What are some female names you would name a baby? Alessandra is my favorite for sure. I also love Anneliese, Justine, Evelyn, Chloe, Evangeline, Quinn... There's a lot. What about male? Severin is my favorite, and I also like Damien, Vincent, Victor, and Luther. Do you have any subscription boxes? No. What fictional creature would you like as a pet? I want a dragon, goddammit. Idc if it can breathe fire ok I want a dragon. Ewoks are also the one and only thing I enjoy from Star Wars. What kind of dwelling do you live in? Just a one-story house. Is there anyone you work with that you don't get along with? Why? N/A Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? PLEASE adopt, especially with cats and dogs, given the number of strays. Purebreds tend to have so many underlying issues, and besides, it's just a LOT of money for an animal that probably wouldn't outlive a mutt. Don't feed the machine if you can. What's your favorite chain restaurant? The Cheesecake Factory or Olive Garden. Why were you last pulled over? I’ve never been pulled over before. What was the last thing you've done on the water? Just kinda swam around a bit in the ocean. It was so warm, totally like a bath. I do NOT miss that sun poisoning, though. Are you cool with swimming in a lake? I think I'd do it if someone invited me to, and the lake didn't look filthy, of course. Do you have a drone? No. What's your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant? We have this tiny, local Mexican place that's really good. I don't know the name of it, and I wouldn't share it for obvious reasons. What do you order from there? Chips and salsa of course, along with a shrimp and cheese quesadilla, and finally their cheesy rice. What's your favorite ice-cream flavor? Depending on my mood, it bounces between vanilla with chocolate syrup or just plain chocolate. Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? No. Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? I used to listen to Mark, Bob, and Wade's podcast, but I'm like... ten months behind, haha. What's something someone calls you that you find endearing? I like "love" a lot. What's your favorite children's book? I loved books like The Rainbow Fish, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Stellaluna, 10 Minutes 'til Midnight, What Makes a Rainbow?, Chrysanthemum, etc. Is there a new season for a series you're excited to come out? Meerkat Manor comes back this summer, and I am fucking HYPED. How old are you? I'm 25. What is something unique you enjoy about the one you like/love? I tease her about it all the time, but it's really cute that she keeps all of her snakes' good sheds in her room. Proud reptile mom. Are you more liberal or conservative? I'm close to the middle, but I lean towards being more liberal, and I seem to go more that way with time. Do you watch American Horror Story? I used to. I saw the entire first season and really liked it, and then I almost finished the second, but I lost interest. The story got a bit stupid imo. I'd be willing to watch other seasons, though. Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? None that I’m aware of. The people there are scary enough. What's the scariest nightmare you remember having? Let's not talk about it. Are you medicated? Uh very. Are there any apps you're addicted to? Nah. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? It was initially a bunny holding a polka-dotted blanket, then it become a moose I got from Cabela's when in Ohio. Do you still collect stuffed animals? Only meerkat ones. Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex? Haha I've worn Jason's pj pants before and they just kinda... became mine, lol. What's the last movie you watched at home? The Shining, I believe. What's the last movie you watched in theaters? The CGI remake of The Lion King. I still don't get why it was received so badly. Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? I don't think so, no. If you do drink, what's your favorite alcoholic beverage? Margaritas, generally. However, Sara's dad made me this absofuckinglutely incredible chocolate drink before that tasted like a milkshake. It had like, no alcohol flavor, which worked out well for me considering I very much dislike that taste. Are there any songs you've been listening to repetitively lately? There's a new one every day lately, haha. Today it's Halocene's cover of "Love Bites (So Do I)." Cereal, granola, or oatmeal? Cereal. What TV shows did you grow up watching? You gotta gimme an age group... but I'd say the typical stuff for kids of that time. What does your phone case look like? It's just a boring purple that came with it. What were your favorite toys to play with as a child? I looooved playing with my "family" of a father crocodile, a mother deer, their two "children" (a fawn and smaller croc), and "friends" that were little Pokemon figurines. Then there was an evil t-rex with two stupid sidekicks, haha. I can't remember what dinosaurs they were. What's the most embarrassing thing you can ever remember doing? Hold on, lemme find my book. Do you remember what you dreamt about last night? I only very faintly recall dreaming about my cat Roman. Have you ever done anything embarrassing in a dream? Thank FUCK they're just dreams. Do you vape? Nah. What was a song you loved as a child? So uh. Apparently. I loved "Dookie" by Green Day. It's an undying story from Mom about how it came on once at a putt-putt place and I apparently started yelling "dookie!" and dancing. Do you enjoy the Arctic Monkeys? Yeah, I love some of their songs. Are you going to see Finding Dory? You bet your sweet ass I saw it. I've cried everytime I've watched it. Have you ever been horseback-riding? I have not, but I would love to. When was your last piercing? Whenever I got my tragus done, which I can't remember. What did your first crush look like? I don't remember my puppydog love first crush, but I can talk about my first REAL crush, Sebastian. He's a skinny dude with short, brown hair and a lip piercing... I can't remember which kind. He dressed in an emo style, and Facebook pictures at least suggest he still kind of does, I think. Is your body more curvy or flat? Well, I'm not at all skinny, so... What's your least favorite holiday? Probably Christopher Colombus Day, honestly. You didn't discover shit. Don't pretend to me it's worth celebrating in a clean conscience. if you’re having a boring day what do you usually do? If I'm rock-bottom bored, quite honestly, I normally nap, even though I know I shouldn't. Do you turn to food when you're upset? Ugh, I'm admittedly an emotional eater. I got way better about it, and then I started up again. Is your bf/gf good with your parents? I don't have an s/o. Do you think soda should be served at school? Vending machines are fine I suppose, as I don't believe they should be free seeing as they're nothing but sugar content, and I feel schools shouldn't just hand that out to kids at lunch or something. Do dogs have feelings? They sure do. Are you afraid of snakes? Oh no! I adore them. I respect snakes and am going to give wild ones their space for sure considering I don't recognize every native venomous one, but nevertheless, I'm not afraid of them. They are so vital to the ecosystem and are incredibly fascinating animals that deserve our protection. On that note, PLEASE do not kill any snake you come across in your shed or whatever. Call someone to relocate the terrified thing. Favorite snack? It depends on what I'm in the mood for, really. Ever seen The Notebook? Read the book, seen the movie plenty of times. Do you think cussing is trashy? No. Who is the most famous person you’ve met, if any? Nobody. Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic? No. Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part? No. Do you like gore? Yeah, generally. Do you like to drink water? Ugh, I really don't. I wish I did. Have you ever had a wax? I used to get my eyebrows waxed. Do you have any sets of matching bras and underwear? No. Are you any good at improv? Not at ALL.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''love bites (so do i)'' by halestorm

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Alex ze Pirate Mini Review 5: Why I love One Piece and my final verdict

(Warning. Post contains initial geek out about One Piece that is meant to correlate to my opinion on Alex in general)

When I started this series of posts, one thing I asked myself was, how could I sum up my problems with the Sam story while also tackling some general issues with AzP without redundantly repeating major points of my previous posts.

… So I decided instead of giving a straight answer, I would first tell you how I came to fall in love with One Piece.

Around 14+ years ago, I began reading manga, with works such as Ranma 1/2, Pokemon and Dragon Ball being my starting point. You know, the average stuff everyone had read at some point. One Piece, already back then consisting of over 25+ volumes,  was only something a friend started to lend me and I read the first seven volumes, not really quite getting why it was that popular. I did not hate what I read, but there was nothing outright standing out to me the way the story was told that got to me. And then I hit the Arlong arc with volume 8 and onwards. While it was mostly the adventure of Luffy with his crew against Crocodile and his Baroque Corporation that totally sold me on the manga later on, the Arlong arc was what really got my attention. Seeing the character of Nami betray her friends, pieces of worldbuilding that would years later play a role and so much more, made me curious where things were going. Particularly, why Nami would betray Luffy. And when I reached chapter 77 to 81, where I got to read Nami’s backstory, how Arlong killed her adoptive mother in front of her eyes when she was just a little kid and Luffy declaring he was going to help her and her village, I was hooked. This was the first time in my life as a manga reader, I was not just entertained, I was emotionally invested. Because not only was Nami’s backstory genuinely saddening to me, but seeing Luffy determined to help her and the ensuing battles was exciting. Exciting because it truly showed to me, how awesome of a character this goofball with stretching powers really is. Not because he was physically strong, but because he was willing to do all of that for someone just “because” he considers that person a friend. Seeing Luffy not just beat up Arlong, but destroying everything this bastard had build on the suffering of the village and in doing so setting Nami free of the past that haunted her, because he cared for her as a person not in a romantic but platonic manner, was satisfying on so many levels.

 And ever since then Eiichiro Oda proved to me time and time again, even if he hits a bump in the road (seriously, fuck most of the Fishmen Island arc) he knows how to write a world that doesn’t just manage to be cartoonishly entertaining, but also filled with heartfelt moments, where true heroism is not defined just by physical strength, but the willingness of the main characters to help and care for each other and the people they meet across the journey. There are many stories out there where the power of friendship as a virtue, and the virtues it is build on are a theme. But in the world of shonen manga, One Piece for me is still the top.

 And Andrew Dobson’s Alex ze Pirate is the complete antithesis to everything Oda EVER created in One Piece.

 While One Piece has one of the most complex worlds I have ever seen in fiction, with Oda often times setting building stones for future story arcs years in advance (seriously, the thing with Brook and Laboon alone is worth mentioning) , Dobson can’t even bother to properly tell us in what part of the ocean Alex has her adventure or why there is a beaver dog thing walking around a bunch of humans.

 While One Piece has some gorgeous artwork and unique designs with an insane level of cartoonish detail, Dobson has some very generic designs and draws like a 15 year old girl that read Spirou and manga too much and now starts doing scribble artwork.

 While Oda draws chapters for over 20 years now, Dobson could not even bother to finish up the adventure of the crew getting properly together back in 2004, as only one volume was released.

 While One piece tells a story that defines the shonen genre for over a decade, Dobson tells stupid newspaper strip jokes that are not even interconnected much.

 While Oda’s Strawhats are the embodiment of the word nakama, Dobson’s characters only bring the following old saying to mind:

 With friends like this, who needs enemies?

 Bottom line, Alex ze Pirate is absolute garbage as a work of entertainment, particularly in the world of kids entertainment. It was so already long before Dobson wrote the three part story I reviewed in detail, but this story in my opinion was for anyone with a bit of brains the last nail in the coffin. Cause overall, this was likely Dobson’s last chance in his and the eyes of the readers.

 The last chance, because he was going to put all his talent as a writer and artist into this one story to prove his critics wrong; That he could tell an engaging and emotionally fulfilling story in a multi part story, longer than his 15 pagers. But like with everything else I have seen so far, he failed.

 He failed artistically, because damn does this not look even remotely professional compared to other professionally published work or even other silly webcomics like Cludscratcher or Housepets (which I highly recommend you to read).

 He failed as a storywriter, because instead of emotionally engaging and well paced, this shit is rushed, works more on “tell, don’t show” than anything else and really just magnifies the worst aspects of his characters and Dobson’s mean spirited humor in general. Cause this is not a tale where we feel like Sam genuinely has found a family and friends in Alex and her crew. It is the tale of Sam just accepting that he has nothing better going on in his life.

 He failed, because instead of actually putting care, effort and love for his characters and work into this, he likely just wanted to get it out and hope that just because he “put effort” into this more than usual, he would already get praise by default.

 And once this thing was out, all that happened was the following: Even more people realized what kind of hack he is, that this project was not going to be salvaged even if actual stories instead of strip based jokes are told and he misinterpreted the disinterest as reason to just completely give up, instead of trying harder.

 And as a result, even if Dobson still went on to do shitty redesigns and a few more pages for it, Alex ze Pirate soon after ended. Put into everlasting hiatus, where it joins such work as Pilote Candidate or Frank Millers All Star Batman and Robin.

 Dobson, if you ever read this, let me just say it how it is: You failing to make even the most basic story about people appreciating their friends, particularly when within the last decade there has been an entire fandom of manchildren out there that was build on a show with “Friendship is Magic” in the title, just shows how bad of a storyteller and creator you are. You shouldn’t have gone to college in order to become an animator, you should have joined fanfiction.net in order to get some basic understanding on how to even write. Cause your writing is so bad, it makes fanfiction look genuinely complex and thoughtful. Well that and you should perhaps go out and find genuinely friends and not just online supporters that mistake you for some persecuted innocent artist, when in reality you are just a toxic idiot who attempts to manipulate people so he can profit of them and their fleeting interest in his substandard comics based on the lowest common denominator cartoons.

 I wrap this review up. We will revisit Alex one day again, but for now, I just want to focus on something more positive. So within the next weeks, if I post something, I will try to make it focused on something NOT Dobson related. You know, stuff to genuinely enjoy. Till then, I just want to say thank you. Thank you @hypocricyofandrewdobson for reblogging my entries. Thank you to everyone who liked this, reblogged this or started to follow me because of it. I hope I managed to educate and entertain you all in a positive manner, without making myself come off too much like an assholish nerd with too many interests. Stay safe.

 And hey, if any of you has his own two cents on Sam, Alex or the others, even ideas how to make them genuinely better, I am always open.

 See ya.

#andrew dobson #syac #so you are a cartoonist #one piece #webcomic #comics #western animation #tom preston #adobsonartwork

[hey-op-just-kill-me]

OK get ready for some quotes, I have so many....

I’m just gonna list them off the top of my head. some will be funny and some will be quotes that I really love and I think are really powerful

“you’re a toaster“-Starship

"In case you were wondering *rolls out from behind pillar and stands up* The 'D' stands for my wiener."- a very potter sequel

“i’m sure it’s an honest mistake on account of Oscar can’t count to 20 with his shoes on”-Bway Newsies

“History isn't something you look back at and say it was inevitable, it happens because people make decisions that are sometimes very impulsive and of the moment, but those moments are cumulative realities."-Marsha P. Johnson

“sit down you inarticulate bumble”-a very potter musical

“Ron: Favorite Aimee Mann song on three. One, two, three... Harry and Ron: Red Vines. Harry: Favorite color of vines, other than green. Harry and Ron: Red Vines. Ron: Favorite way to say 'red wines' in a German accent. Harry and Ron: Red Vines. OH MY GOD! *bro hug*” - a very potter sequel

“More like supermegafoxyawesomehot”-a very potter musical

“All of us who are openly gay are living and writing the history of our movement. We are no more – and no less – heroic than the suffragists and abolitionists of the 19th century; and the labor organizers, Freedom Riders, Stonewall demonstrators, and environmentalists of the 20th century. We are ordinary people, living our lives, and trying as civil-rights activist Dorothy Cotton said, to ‘fix what ain’t right’ in our society.”–Senator Tammy Baldwin

“Oh my God, I have to fight a goat? I don't think I can do that morally... *later* Oh my god I have to fight a dragon! I can't do that I'm just a little kid!"- a very potter musical

"There's no way we're losing to Slytherin, or Ravenclaw, or...Jigglypuff."- a very potter sequel

"There's only one thing to do: I have to die. I love you all... except you Draco. I can't f**king stand you."-a very potter musical

"Your irrational fear of the potty... Why else would you have such a little D? IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING ELF!"- a very potter sequel

"Gay as the Fourth of July...oh you mean the hat."- a very potter sequel

“it‘s not that. it‘s Hermione. I can‘t get her out of my head. It’s just every time I look at her I get these pains in my chest, and I just know it’s her fault, that bitch!” - a very potter musical

"Actually I have heard those things, Harry, about a thousand times, but never have they been told to me with so much sass. Drop the attitude, Harry Potter. You are acting like Garfield on a Monday.” -a very potter musical

"For 11 years I was a Muggle douchebag living under some stairs. This year I found out I'm a wizard, and I'm famous. I can fly and turn invisible...and I just traveled the f*** back in time! So f*** you, Draco. How's that for a happy thought?” - a very potter sequel

“Ow, crap. I hate this. Running is terrible. Everything is the worst.”- Bojack horseman

“There has been another mass shooting. I am totally unqualified to cover a news story this important, but as a straight white male, I will plow forward with confidence and assume I’m doing fine!”- Bojack horseman

(honestly if you look up “Bojack horseman funny quotes” you’ll find an insane amount! That show is genuinely one of the most equally powerful and hilarious things I’ve ever seen in my life)

“Hahaha, hahaha. Now you're just being cute. I can't GO to Pigfarts, Potter. It's ON MARS. You need a rocketship. Do you have a rocketship, Potter? I bet you do. You know, not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died. Look at this! Look at this! It's Rocketship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter! Traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts!”- a very potter musical

"I was in the car with my parents when we crashed...into a crocodile. My parents got eaten but then the crocodile took out a knife and gave me this scar.”- a very potterr sequel

"Mrs. Granger, you have to have learned by now that when one of you has gots a problem, all three of you has gots a problem. What would Zac Efron say at a time like this? 'We're all in this together...'"- a very potter musical

“Diane, I am a famous — everyone gives me everything I want all the time. It is an existential curse, but a huge day-to-day convenience.”- Bojack Horseman

“Well, I believe everything has its place. Muggles have their place. Mudbloods have their place. And so do your clothes. Namely, A DRESSER!"- a very potter musical

“Slap my salami, the guy’s a commie.”- Bojack horseman

“"Do you know who I think is the ugliest girl in school? Hermione Granger. You know what I'd give her on a scale of one to ten, with one as the ugliest and ten as the prettiest? I'd give her an 8... 8.5... or a 9... but not... NOT over a 9.8. Because there is always room for improvement. Not everyone is perfect, like me. I'm holding out for a 10. Because I'm worth it."- a very potter musical

"You gotta roll over, I can't sleep on my tummy." - a very potter musical (spoken by Voldemort)

"So basically, I've being putting everyone who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor, a bad guy into Slytherin and the others can go wherever the hell they want." - a very potter musical

“Totally, the best class by far is satanic rituals.”- a very potter sequel

Okay so first @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside thank you so much for sending me so many. 2nd and this is a quick disclaimer I’ve never actually seen AVPM or the spin off but I did find them all very funny so thank you I love you so much.

Please enjoy my very shitty handwriting

#woah not newsies for once #long post #i’m sorry

[likemymask]

One Piece Daemon AU

Presented with only slight spelling corrections and some elaborations, the mess of a One Piece Daemon/His Dark Materials AU that would not leave me alone and would only let me work on it at 1-3AM.

Also now I’m writing snippets for it just like my Gundam Wing and Star Trek daemon AU. Because.

Luffy: sea king with Conqueror Haki so they can’t be controlled. Separated but not because that’s as free as you can get. Fuck yea, she’s in north blue chilling the fuck out (heh) half the time and being absolutely chaotic as shit the other half. Her attitude is diametrically opposed to what Luffy is doing at the time. LOL she runs/swims into Shanks when Luffy’s still barely a pirate so he has no idea (not that the marines do either) one time. This 2000ft tall monster is squinting at him, and he thinks he’s about to get ate and then she goes “oh you’re so much smaller now!” Cause of course she spent her formative years as a baby version of his daemon. The entire crew is goddamn losing it, cause what kind of monster is this that even Red Hair’s Haki can’t control it, until Shanks yells out her name and then everyone loses it further still. I have decided Eastern dragon aesthetic but water/earth theme as opposed to Kaido’s air/fire theme. Still blue, but blue-green, tiger stripes cause camoflage and also badass and maybe she settles after Luffy meets Zoro’s daemon *whistles*

Zoro: tiger obviously normal colors or green and black cause why the fuck not, Zoro is not into stealth really. ”The only one who can call me stupid is me. “ “.....stupid” Cat vs sword fight ensues. Can be found cuddling Chopper when Zoro’s tired, super sloshed, both.

Nami: monkey? Lemur: small, fast, quick hands, caring but only when you prove you deserve it. Absolutely torments Zoro’s when she’s pissed because tigers can’t normally climb fucking main masts but a) she parkours and b) when has that ever stopped Zoro/her? Likes to hang out in the tree grove, absolutely pick pockets people while Nami plays distraction.

Robin: cat some kind of cat not big CARACAL. Looks aloof but absolutely ready to be ridiculous at any opportunity.

Franky: dog or dolphin. Something excitable loyal ready to throw down Newfoundland? Big, friendly, over-excitable, likes water and sailing...yes.

Usopp: Corvid or monkey; curious, intelligent, stubborn, inventive, tool solving/using. Lives in groups/troops and cares for others. Probably corvid, too similar to Nami otherwise. Crow most likely.

Sanji: swan. Black, and absolutely a viper and very sorry about Sanji’s attitude towards woman cause she’s more refined about it. Same intensity though. Will bite the shit out of you. Tiger vs swan fight, GO. Do also groom each other though cause human affectionate displays are stupid sometimes.

Fishmen don’t have daemons its another conflict and excuse for racism.

Law: wolf but like starved and Eurasian crazy with it. LONG leggos. Spiky black fur around the head, grey black white speckled cause T R A U M A

Ace: was a fire hawk, no actual fire but red as hell and BIG tail and wings. Her species not liked on most islands cause they don’t leave once they’re settled. They stand their ground. More angst ha ha. Never met settled Luffys daemon because I’M A MONSTER.

Sabo: never settled until he learned Ace was dead and then she settled as fire hawk because trauma and angst and also he knows who he is now. Not being settled was useful for a while when he did infiltration etc but now they’re both happy/sad about it.

Garp. Big dog. Bull mastiff dog. Not good with kids only with attacking things and defending but very loyal. Also big. “ Bullmastiffs are also difficult even for adults to control, so they aren’t a good choice if your child wants to help walk the dog. They like to please and crave attention, but they’re so big that even a well-intentioned nudge can end up hurting small children. ” HMMMMM RINGS A BELL, THIS DOES

Chopper: also no daemon or if so then monkey because HANDS. OH BOI THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A FUN THING. EAT SOME FRUIT, WAKE UP WITH A SOUL. Wait no people think he’s a pet. No daemon then.

Mihawk: literally whatever Shank’s daemon is he insists this is why they’re friends while Mihawk wine aunts in the background. He’s more refined though than Shanks and his soul (this is not a challenge). Like absolutely cold as ice until he cracks a pun, but no one believes the victim cause no way Mihawk would do that. Soooo proud, regal, loyal but willing to have a good time. Some kind of dog or cat. Big and fast and POWER. Could do big cat to be more like Zoro or a dog/canid to foil it. Maned wolf?

Vivi: it’s lazy to say her bird Caracue I can’t spell it’s one am but imma do it. KAROO HOW THE FUCK DID I MISSPELL THAT.

Crocodile: big fuck off alligator cause fuck you that’s why. HOLY FUCK I FORGOT HE HAD THE BANANA ONES IN HIS CASINO THAT’S GREAT

Logias turn to same element so Ace’s daemon is now a literal actual fire hawk, fuck the history books I’m writing this shit.

Don fuck face Flamingo: is what it is but like Kipo And the Age of Wonderbeasts it got TEETH, cause anything that survived acid water and shit is not cool. In fact, you know what, she’s albino and thinks that makes her special, honey you just don’t got shrimp vitamins, you buffoon of a bird.

All the dino Zoans are modern descendant of those animals so chickens. Or birds. Chickens would be so goddamn funny especially the 3 foot tall fluffy ones...fuck what’re they called(Brahmas). Oh wait. Emus. Ohhhhhhh fuck emus as an option.

Mammoth Zoan can have a Mammoth daemon because I want to see that on a ship.

(Makino) Bartender lady I can’t remember her name starts with m capybara cause she’s chill as shit and friend shaped. 

Dadan: is not friend shaped but is friend. Big fuck off bear or buffalo or wildebeest

Brooke: Laboon, Lampoon whatever Moby Dick. There’s some trauma, they had to leave him, but they didn’t want to and Brooke offered to stay but Laboon thought he’d be fine. Spoiler alert He Is Not. No one is fine.

Ohhhhhhh fuck bad good idea: Rogers daemon also a Sea King but the marines never goddamn figured it out, hoooooo my gods Shanks is having goddamn flashbacks. 

Momo and Kaido both have Eastern dragon daemons cause fake fruit.mythical zoan fruit but Momos is the size of a gecko and black so she’s hide-able. Kaido’s isn’t as big but is still Fuck Off huge. Red because I said so. 

Beastmen also do not have daemons because fuck the amount of significant characters in One Piece

Cora(zon): also had a wolf, because yay trauma and repeats and trauma bonding!But she was like, pretty yellow white and dog-ish up until the moment she ripped your throat out for offending her/harming her pack. Law learned much from her about appearances, being underestimated, and then for the most part did the exact opposite.

Slime man: *Aka Trebol* has a hagfish cause fuck him and Doflamingo

Boa: her snake weapon thing. Big noodley boy. The skull is for A E S T H E T I C

   Ace's daemon named Picaro: Spanish for naughty/badly behaved and that is a synonym for rogue cause MOMMA'S BOI and I keep misreading Rouge as rogue cause PIRATES, and this way it's a little better than naming the fire hawk Red though Ace does call her that sometimes .          You know what, he has the same daemon as Rouge/mom actually cause stubborn enough to not go into labor for 20 months is bonkers and that shit deserves recognition. Also because FUCK the number of characters in One Piece.              Celestial Dragons don't have special daemons but they do splice/separate cause they're fuckers that's why              AU of AU        Luffy's daemon close enough to WRECK MARINEFORD'S SHIT THAT'S RIGHT BABEY ACE LIVES, ASL REUNION AND SUCH          Sabo's daemon settles as a dog but one of the CRAZY breeds, like poodle or husky.

AU OF AU PART TWO: originally when thinking about a One Piece daemon AU Luffy was gonna have a cheetah; long, fast, use recoil to increase speed and change directions, males live in groups with their brothers and are highly affectionate. Tendency to run into walls. Has a fur pattern presentation named King Cheetah, looks like a more Armament Haki version.

#daemon #daemons #hdm #his dark materials #one piece #i have no goddamn control over my brain at 1AM

[laws-hat-headcanons]

10 + 10

I realised after I had posted this that I did it on a reblog that was already pretty long... so I have now done a separate post to try and make it smaller! Sorry! 

I was tagged twice to do this and was writing out my answers when Coop tagged me AGAIN!! So I am sorry to all of you, this is long and you're going to learn more about me than you probably wanted to!!

Answer 10 questions then add 10 of your own: 

@lucynnamonroll thank you for the first Tag flower!

1. A dream that you still remember?

I dreamt once that someone was chasing me and my dog and they bit me, took a big chunk out of my arm. And then my dog gave me this big blue fruit and my arm grew back. My dreams are always very strange.

2. What job did you want to do when you were younger?

I wanted to be a vet but I am way too emotional around poorly animals and also not smart enough to learn how to treat them haha!

3. And now? Did it has changed?

Yeah, I don't think I was ever cut out to be a vet. I'd like to work with animals though, maybe kennels or something? Zoo Keeper would be cool.

4. A favorite game?

I'm gonna take this as video game... There are a lot. I love Mass Effect and Dragon age, Gears of War... but Horizon Zero Dawn was amazing. I loved every single thing about it. Beautiful game, great story – just.. chefs kiss

5. Where did you have traveled? (Either it’s in your country or not)

I've been a few places- France, Spain, Somewhere else hot but I can't recall where... Ireland, Scotland. I was supposed to have gone to Bulgaria at the beginning of May but Coronavirus done fucked me over.

6. Did you have a totem animal/a favorite animal?

Ever since I was about 6 wolves have been my favourite animals. I originally started drawing so I could create a wolf fursona …. siiigghhh

7. Did you/Do you have a teddy bear to help you to sleep? How it was looking?

Yes, a little dog called Custard. He is a beige colour with brown ears but is still in pretty good condition. He sits on my desk chair when I'm not using it.

8. THE animated (or not) serie of your childhood/teenage years?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES – heroes in a half shell, turtle power!! I was also hella into Dragon Ball Z on Toonami when I was a kid. I remember we went to see some family up north and they didn't have Toonami and I cried because it was mid way through the Buu arc and I was gonna miss it.

9. Do you have anime/series/movie/whatever things merch?

I have a few bits. A Hatake Kakashi figure, one for Katakuri and Zoro. A heart Pirates hoodie. I think I have Kid's wanted poster somewhere...

10. How was your day?

Oh. It was a day. I slept through most of it. My energy/motivation levels are pretty low at the moment. But it was sunny, so that was nice.

@luffytarhoe thank you for my second tag!! 💙

1- What’s your favorite show/anime of the moment ?

I don't watch a huge amount of anime despite the focus of this blog. So probably One piece on that front. Otherwise I am watching Outlander atm, which is pretty good but there is sooooo much sex. An ungodly amount of sex.

2- What type of music are you into?

My music tastes are quite varied. I like stuff that you can listen to and put into a situation, so usually sad stuff where I can imagine I am the main character weeping over the bodies of my fallen comrades. Also Goo Goo Dolls!

3- If you could have one superpower , what would it be ?

Probability, or luck. Like Domino in Deadpool. That's always been such a cool concept to me.

4- What’s your favorite color ?

Blue and all it's hues. Maybe teal if I had to get specific.

5- Do you prefer animated or live action shows/series ?

I am happy with both. Though some animated shows should stay animated – looking at you ATLA...

6- Do you believe in ghosts ?

I believe that energy never disappears, only changes forms and I don't think that's any different for whatever happens to people energy once we die. I'm a big wimp though so it's easier for me not to believe in them!

7- Do you speak any foreign language(s) ? if yes which ones ?

No, sadly I never had a talent for languages. I'd love to speak Gaelic though.

8- Your n°1 fictional character ?

Probably Stone from the Raksura book series. He's just a fun grumpy old shapeshifting man.

9- Would you say you’re more of an extrovert or an introvert?

Definitely an introvert. I like me time. And all my hobbies are single person hobbies so that doesn't help haha.

10- What was the best vacation you ever took and why?

I haven't been on holiday in over 10 years but we went to a zoo in Spain once and a Monkey sat on my head. That was pretty rad.

@doctorgerth and finally, thank you for my 3rd tag!!

1. What are your zodiac signs (sun, moon, rising, if you know them) and do you think they fit you pretty well?

I am an Aries and that is pretty much the extent of my knowledge on the subject. Aries are meant to be pretty hot headed and outgoing and I can only really claim to be one of those thing and only when I need to be. So no, I'm not sure it fits me.

2. What is your favorite clothing item and/or accessory?

I don't reallllly care a lot about clothes and or stuff. So I guess either my glasses because I need them to see long distances (and to drive) or my phone if that counts as an accessory because that has all my crap on it.

3. Any future children or pet names?

Noooooooooooooo and no

4. If you could meet anyone (can be past, present, future, real, or fictional) who would it be?

I would have liked to have met Steve Irwin I think. He seemed pretty chill and I grew up watching Crocodile Hunter on TV so he was a big hero of mine for a long time. Also the Rock or Jason Mamoa because of reasons....

5. Brag on yourself! What’s something you love about yourself?

I am passably amusing and guess I write okay too haha

6. What is a movie or show that you could rewatch a million times and never get tired of?

The film Evolution is endlessly funny to me and it makes me laugh every time I watch it. I used to have it on VHS and I kept a video player in the house to watch it until my cousin got it for me on DVD (Yes I am old.)

7. What is your favorite album of all time?

I haven't listened to it in a long time but I really loved Maroon 5 – Songs about Jane.

8. Do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens? If you have stories to back up, plz share.

I want to belllieeveeeeee! Ghosts, yes, hesitantly but I think I answered that in a previous one. Aliens 100% because I refuse to believe that we are the only sentient life the universe. It's just... statistically impossible.

9. What do you do/who do you look to for inspiration?

I guess human being wise my mum is my inspiration for a lot of things? She's just a lovely person and she's very kind and sweet. I am very aware that we are not much alike, but I look to her as the sort of example of a good person. Creativity wise it's just a clusterfuck of books and badly organised pinterest boards.

10. What is your happiest memory?

Practically anything that has my nephews in it I guess. They're just... hilariously weird little dudes and I love them so much. They always make me laugh.

And here are my questions!!

1. What is your favourite book?

2. What is you most loved item and why?

3. If you got the chance to travel to another planet (knowing you would never see your friends or family again) would you do it?

4. One song that makes you cry?

5. Do you believe in supernatural stuff? Ghosts and Monsters and Fairies? Any experiences with it?

6. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever witnessed or had happen to you?

7. What one thing would you buy if you had the money?

8. What is your worst habit/personality trait?

9. If you could alter your body with one cool feature, what would it be? (camera eyes, monkey tail, etc)

10. Do you have the patience to play a full game of Monopoly with no breaks?

I'll tag @pinkhatlizzy @nakunakunomi @lirulee @one-piece-dumpster-fire and anyone else who wants to answer my dumb questions!! Tag me because if you decide to do it so I can see your answers 💙

#hat talks #tag game