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secondjulia · 1 year

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Hob Gadling's First Execution

WARNING: GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE

“He was begging,” Dream said. Mud squelched all around them, but he and Death made no sound as they walked over the already bloodied field. “I heard it.”

“He was begging to live, you idiot!” Death said.

“How do you know?” Dream looked at Hob Gadling, kneeling before a hoard of soldiers. His hair and beard were coated in blood.

“He’s writhing away from the man with the axe, not towards him!”

“The specifics were unclear. His lips seem to be leaking, his words were obstructed. And there is only one logical thing to hope for in this scenario.”

Death shook her head. It had barely been a decade since they’d visited the White Horse, and Dream had repeatedly pointed out — as if she could have failed to notice — that the world had only become a less appealing and more brutal place to live.

“But look at him!” Dream said. “Such misery, my sister! Surely he wishes for his torment to be over.”

“This is his torment.” Death said. “And he wishes, I am quite certain, to avoid it entirely.”

She sighed, her eyes running over the line of men on their knees in the mud, hands bound. A few met her eyes with a glimmer of hope. One beamed broadly, even as he shook and panted, blood running down his face. Hob Gadling did not look over. Though he had squirmed when they were first dragged out to the field where the masked man waited to end their short, brutal lives, he was now still. His gaze didn’t scan the assembled crowd for support or mercy but looked defiantly ahead.

“But how could any sensible creature wish to continue to live in a world such as this?” Dream asked.

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t,” Death said. “None of them do. Not in a world such as this. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to live.”

“Hm.” Dream nodded toward the man who had beamed at Death. “That one likes this world. He still dreams of the glory he may yet achieve through his sacrifice. He would continue on, dying a thousand deaths for his lord if he were allowed.”

“See?” Death smile kindly at the doomed man. “Some sensible creatures have found a way to embrace their reality.”

“I would not call that sensible.”

Death gave Dream a sad smile that said she knew very well his callousness was mostly an act.

Dream knew each and every one of these kneeling men. He had witnessed their final nightmares and bestowed, where he could, more comforting dreams. It was a balance that took a careful hand — something Dream had had to cultivate more and more as civilizations grew. Waking from a lovely dream only to face the executioner could be a torture, while waking from the horrors of night to face the end of torments could be a relief. Forbidden as he was from interfering in the lives of mortals beyond his own dominion, Dream did his best with the powers he had.

And to others — those who would walk away from this field — he gave harsher visions so that they might not forget the blood they shed. He hoped that one day the horror of such practices would impel their end.

Though he was still certain that the next few minutes would prove him right, Dream felt no pleasure. Parts of him would die today. Each of the men kneeling in the mud had lived rich lives within his realm. One who had dreamed of glory now only hoped for a swift end. Another only wished for heat as the chill rain soaked through his tunic and dripped from his hair. Several held friendly faces and warm hands in their daydreams. Others’ minds had gone blank with fear, all thought and creation already stolen from them. Their dreams would die today, and those parts of Dream, too.

Hob Gadling had slept little these last few days. Dream had busied himself with others, honorably not wanting to act in any way that would push his wager with Death one way or another. But now, Hob’s mind was unignorably full and active, daydreams spinning out, vivid and loud. He dreamed of—

Dream turned from the sight immediately.

His own face looked out of the daydreams of Hob Gadling.

“You are ready, my sister?” Dream asked, trying to cover his surprise.

She nodded. “This century’s looking to be nearly as busy as the last.”

As a soldier walked toward Hob, Dream forced himself to watch. He never enjoyed seeing his sister’s work, especially not when it began like this. Humanity had always been prone to fits of violence, but in its growing civilizations, their capacity to enact horror had exploded. Still, Dream had not expected to feel so sick at the sight.

Relief and fear gripped Hob in equal measure as the man strode forward to seize him first. He’d’ve preferred to die in battle, sword in hand, but at least this would be over soon.

Let us meet here again, Robert Gadling…

A slight smile brushed his lips. At least the voice he’d heard a thousand times out of memory, held closely in his heart, would accompany him to his end.

…in this tavern of the White Horse, in one hundred years.

“Forgive me, lord,” Hob murmured. “I shall not make our meeting.”

The pretty face shone in his mind as clearly as if he’d last seen it yesterday. His slender, black-clad stranger, the scarlet jewel hung over his chest no match in glamor for those petal pink lips dressed with a mocking smile. Oh, how Hob had wished to meet him again when they were both ancient and put a different expression on that lovely face!

Hob had been lucky. He was not yet old, but he’d made it longer than most. All his mates who’d laughed so heartily at his boasts all those years ago had gone to their graves, wounded or worn down, their laughter long gone. But Hob still felt like his brash, young self, defiant in the face of death. He even looked young. His body had held up remarkably well through years of battle and banditry and plague creeping back through England, and, honestly, he felt that he could have held up many more decades — if not forever.

But now his luck had run out.

Hob looked up defiantly at the enemy who had condemned him. He couldn’t even remember now why they’d been trying to kill each other. The political machinations behind the throne were too distant, and Hob didn’t care. A moment later, he was forced to his belly, pushed down onto hard stone, his face hanging over the river’s edge. He was not important enough for his head to be set on a pike, frightening others away from his treacherous deeds. He was a simple soldier, a common mercenary, just unlucky enough to take a coin for services rendered on the wrong side of the battlefield, — to be swept out of the way with the fall of the axe more for convenience than political statement. Hob’s mortal remains would fall into the river like waste.

He had not even been given the curtesy of a blindfold.

Hob shut his eyes. In the darkness at the end of his life, he looked into a moon-pale face with storm grey eyes. He ignored the final flashes of the life he’d led up until then, regretting only that he would never meet his pretty lord again.

Then agony shattered all thought.

Hob was falling.

Seconds swelled to years.

Warm drops that must have been his own heart’s blood splashed onto his face before the river tumbled him into itself and he was drowning, still feeling the gaping wound at the base of his skull.

Then cold, wet, darkness.

Hob woke, thrashing in pain.

He gasped and cried out as the air scraped over raw flesh. He flailed out with both hands and the soft mud was like hot stones against his skin. He flopped like a fish on the river bank, naked, every inch of him scorched with a pain beyond even the most brutal interrogator’s imaginings.

For a long time, Hob just writhed and cried.

Death had too much work to linger, but Dream had followed the severed head as it floated down the river. The body of Hob Gadling had been tossed unceremoniously into a pit with a dozen others. Dream knew that the life force that kept the foolish man alive would spring from the brain, though he still severely doubted whether there could possibly be any desire for such a life. Dream had seen uncountable last-second horrors of decapitated victims and knew the pain must be unimaginable, if (usually) brief. Now, he sat hidden in a grove of willows a little ways away from where Hob had washed up and waited for the begging to begin.

Death would not be too busy to return with her mercy.

Hob lay curled on the muddy river bank for a long time before he could really look down at the body that had, through some magic, appeared under his neck. It was tender as a fresh cut all over, but it looked like him. Slightly soft with hair over the chest and legs. Bound with the soldier’s muscles he’d had since he was a young man. The only difference Hob could see was that fresh skin had grown where old scars had once been. He hadn’t gotten any scars since his early thirties — not since around the time he’d seen his stranger in the White Horse.

His stranger!

“Oh you beautiful devil!” Hob’s voice was hoarse and it pained him severely to speak. But still, he laughed. “My wonderful, blessed stranger!”

In one hundred years!

He hadn’t just been challenging Hob to live. This wizard or saint or devil must have made it so!

“Oh my stranger, my beautiful lord!” Hob called out. His head tilted back to the heavens. But then he looked around, uncertain if that’s where his mysterious benefactor’s power had come from. He pressed his forehead into the mud, bowing to whatever unseen force had saved him. “If your hand were Satan’s own I’d kiss it!”

As soon as the words left him, he bit his lip — a sharp, torturous pain that made tears spring to his eyes. Hob sat up and looked around swiftly. Even in his glee, a thrill of fear ran through him. He didn’t wish to find out what it was like to be burned alive for consorting with the devil.

“From this day forward,” Hob murmured, his head bowed, “when I pray my Lord, it is to you I pray. Ever after, when I speak of thanks and mercy and forgiveness and glory, it is to you I speak. In your name, lord, though I do not have it. Thank you!”

Dream watched, dumbfounded, as Hob Gadling pushed himself up and limped naked down the river bank, grinning like an idiot.

Regretting the time away from his duties, Dream shook his head and turned away. He would be right eventually. This day had only served to vividly remind him him of the acute horror of this world. And Hob still had ninety years left to endure before their next meeting.

Dream was patient.

#I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ONE WORD ABOUT ORPHEUS #This is the AU called Things Work How I Want Them To #Ferdie Friday #Ferdinand Kingsley #Sandman #Dream of the Endless #Death of the Endless #The Hollow Crown #Richard II #Spoiler Alert I guess #I mean this story came out like four hundred years ago so I feel like the Statute of Limitations on Spoilers has expired #I really didn't realize how much the first one looks like he's calling Henry Bolingbroke YOU BITCH and I think it's totally appropriate

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bookowo · 9 months

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Found my art of Edgeworth from last year. I'll post it, why not :]

Also spoiler alert I guess?

made different versions

Maybe now I can redraw that but now I'm drawing something else!! 🤫 So later...

#ace attorney #art #miles edgeworth #dl 6 incident #spoiler alert i guess

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ashleybenlove · 7 months

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Oh, well, I guess if I have Hiccup tell Toothless he loves him before Hiccup has a surgery, I have to have Hiccup say that to his dads, too.

Causing emotional damage to myself, I guess.

(Please read 'emotional damage' in Steven He's voice btw)

#ashleybenlove posts #he doesn't even die in surgery he'll die during recovery #spoiler alert i guess

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pinazee · 18 days

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Watching Will Trent right now-him meeting his uncle- after having read the books is like watching a car wreck in slow motion. Im just sitting here screaming swerve, damn it, swerve!

#spoiler alert i guess #ugghhhhh i can feel them building the feelings so they can then blow it to pieces #but also idk if they plan on incorporating all the messed up character bits from the books #causeeeee ormwood…#and… angie….#like are they building these characters to be so likeable just to psych ys out #i kind of want it to happen lol #like it almost feels like a prequel to the books #will trent series #will trent #will trent abc #will trent season 2 #will trent season 2 episode 6

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sainamoonshine · 6 months

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Eltanin, an overconfident man who thinks he is untoucheable: argue with me as much as you want, but I’m still more poweful. I have magic and you don’t. And magic can’t be learned, it’s in a wizard’s blood. So hah!

Autumn, a woman perfectly willing and able to add the tags ‘light unconsentual cannibalism’ to this story: in blood you say? Inch resting…. 🤔

#married to the evil wizard king #eltanin really just handed her the keys to the kingdom right there didn’t he #Spoiler alert I guess

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folerdetdufoler · 2 years

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is there a reason there’s no smut in your new fic? 💔

heartbreaking, i know. it was actually pretty hard writing a relationship that doesn't go all the way, because i always have, even if it's only implied. but because i would have to keep this fic unlocked in order to be part of the bang, i wanted to be comfortable with what i was sharing. i still have a fear of my writing being read by people who worked with the characters/actors i'm using, even if that's highly unlikely at this point. so i lock the smut down to prevent that. also i'm writing a 17-year-old character for most of the story, and didn't want to deal with "underage sex," even though it happened in canon.

to make up for it though, i'll have about 11k of an explicit postscript that i'll link to at the end of the fic, a separate work that i can lock, where isak is 18 and they get down to it like the canon horndogs that they are.

#spoiler alert i guess #they do be fucking by the end #so yah they're together and there's a happy ending #but like....you already knew that #all of my stories have happy endings and happy endings #ya feel #kerrywrites #nine letters #and i wrote that postscript mad fast #like i had repressed it for so long while writing the main fic #that all the sex built up and was just waiting for me to finish #i could sit here all night and write double entendres in the tags #but we all have better things to do

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diabolimeservavit666 · 1 year

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Is it just me or is there something about these images that look very wrong?

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mermaid-trash · 1 year

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rainn wilson of 'The Office'? who's th- oh, you mean rainn wilson of Rob Zombie's iconic debut feature length film 'House of 1000 Corpses'?

#rainn wilson #i like to imagine he'd rather be recognised from that than the office #even though he was only in it for like 15 minutes #spoiler alert i guess #house of 1000 corpses #rob zombie #the office

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probablyanalienindisguise · 26 days

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Black and white canvases my beloved

#I just love linearting things without colour ngl #It's fun :)#Also also what's the thing my favorite characters have in common?? Can you guess??#Spoiler alert #They fucking die #This game is like “Okay here's characters you will absolutely love. And we're gonna put them through so much torture and pain.”#“They're not gonna live to see you fix it either. :)” :(#digital art #art #hollow knight #the hollow knight #hk hollow knight #hk tiso #tiso #hk quirrel #quirrel

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redheadedbrunette · 2 years

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Gonna assume you’re probably younger than 25 but older than 21

False!

#i'm beyond one of those limits #i'll let you guess which one #(it's that i'm in my 80s)#spoiler alert i guess

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echo-stimmingrose · 1 year

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*Percy and Jason arguing over gods knows what*

Leo: Oh my gods I need them to shut the fuck up! I'm trying to work!

Hazel: What are they even arguing about?

Piper: I don't even know.

Hazel: They're not being mind controlled again are they?

Piper: Naw, if they were being mind controlled there would be bloodshed

Frank: Okay it's starting to storm, we need to break it up!

Leo: How exactly do you want us to do that?

Nico: *Appears from the shadows* I could break it up.

Frank: Where did you come from? Nevermind ,Piper and Annabeth couldn't even break it up, how could you?

Nico: Like this

Nico: *Screams like a child* Percy I need help!

Percy: *Over to him within a second, riptide in hand* What's wrong?

Jason: *now soaked, dazed, and confused* What just happened?

Nico: *laughing*

Percy: I told you if you keep doing that I will stop coming!

Nico: *smirking* And yet you're still here

Percy: Okay boy who cried wolf

Jason: What?

Percy: Not you!

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americankimchi · 3 months

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the way i finished bg3 and immediately went through the 5 stages of grief for like a solid 2 hours

#liveblogging #liveblogging baldur's gate #guess who just got a bad ending #spoiler alert: it's me :)#200 hours down the drain ♥#i looked it up after the fact and apparently one (1) dialogue option fucked me over #and it's like. 60+ hours back so it's not even worth it #everyone got a happy ending but my tav 😔#THANK U FOR UR SERVICE....... AS THE FIRST ONE YOUR PLAYTHROUGH WAS DESTINED FOR FAILURE.......#we will always remember ur sacrifice 🫡🫡🫡

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oops-its-a-fanwork · 5 months

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Bountyhunter/Thief reader x the Pirates ☆

Based on the pirate au by @mega-punani, check out her stuff if you enjoy this! They are currently not creating content for it but what is there is really lovely :3

Reader is trying to catch the crew for their bounty! Or at the very least, get some of their fabled treasures for themselves. Your specialities are thievery and catching people or crews alive, which usually yields more bounty anyway. Not to mention that if you can get people to talk, they may reveal more valuable information, items or treasures. Your skills are becoming pretty well known around te area, and that reputation will grow even bigger when you finally catch one of the big dogs~

Yeah thats right, the Skull Pirates' ship just docked nearby! A perfect opportunity. You realize it would be easier to pick them off one by one (fighting the entire crew is obviously a Bad Time) but oops the first one you picked is like kinda cute actually?? Wait scratch that you're here for the money! ...even if they have some redeeming qualities that make them not that bad and- hey wait when did you end up on their team?

Sans It takes him such a long time to wake up from the knock-out that you are frustrated before he even starts talking. After that it really doesn't help that he starts talking to you as if you were buddies chatting during break instead of, I don't know, a hostage situation?? You press a knife to his neck to shut him up but he just keeps talking, telling you he thinks you'll like some of the edgier types on his crew and making puns about sharp edges and this not being very knife of you, chill as ever. When a loud bang rings through the air and your hideout shakes, he breaks the news: his team is getting him back right now and he has decided you are joining the crew. He thinks you're cute and you've got skills if you can manage to knock out and kidnap someone like him. You know you don't stand a chance against his entire crew so begrudgingly you join, letting your displeasure be known every single step of the way. Even if they start to grow on you rather quickly. The crew is confused and amused about your arrival but they at least tolerate you due to you being introduced by Sans.

Papyrus You tried to lure him into following you with flattery, talking about his interests and even sharing gossip from the village. Asking him to assist you with something was far too easy and he seemed happy to help, stating that he would let his brother know where he was going just in case! He's been told there's some sketchy folk around ;) Before you can stop him he's marched off. You mentally debate on simply leaving now before deciding against it. When he returns he lets you know that his brother is excited to meet you! You are pretty much carried aboard by the pirate before you can even object, where a few curious crewmembers give you a quick nod before continuing their tasks. Shit, now half of the ship knows your face, your surprise attack is ruined! When Papyrus sees you pout he immediately makes it his mission to cheer you up again: he showers you in compliments, shows you every nook and cranny of the ship since you seem so interested in it and he encourages you to talk about your home some more. In the chaos of Papyrus's boundless energy he manages to introduce you to Sans and ask if you can join the crew ('Wait wha-'). Sans agrees easily ('No seriously wait-'), recognizing you from a wanted poster and knowing that keeping an eye on you is far easier like this. Not to mention that he can clearly see that his brother really likes you and that he is already winning you over bit by bit. Welcome to the crew kiddo.

Blue He's clearly trying to impress you. You can use that. He's another one you tried to lure with talking, but he was too stubborn to lure with flattery alone so you used the next best thing: a bet. Feigning innocence as a random townsperson simply curious about the new faces resembling the famous Skull crew, you challenged his abilities. Surely they can't be all people crack them up to be? If you lost, you would tell them more about that lost treasure your town has rumors about, and you would accept that he is simply amazing. If you won, he would help you carry those heavy groceries of yours to your home to make up for the lost time. You knew he was strong so you expected to lose. You were hoping to be introduced as an innocent citizen so the crew won't be suspicious if you show up again to snoop around. Maybe the cutie fool can even vouch for you! Worst case scenario you can get him alone in your hideout and knock him out, then get the information you need by force. Either way, you were getting a good deal out of this. Aaaah bummer, you lost~ Guess you'll give his crew any intel you have! Feeling accomplished, you let him lead you to the ship... where he promptly introduced you to the others as the famous bounty hunter they had been hearing so much about. He knew all along???

Stretch He woke up to the sound of someone softly playing some notes on his banjo, his hands and feet tied. He was too tired and hazy to think too much, but looking a little to his right, he saw you softly inspecting his beloved instrument: gentle touches over the wood, fingers following the pretty carvings along the handle. Soft notes filled the room when you'd pluck the strings gently, listening to the notes intently as you waited for him to wake up. You could've been a siren with how entranced he was... until you snapped him out of it by looking up to him with a mischievous, self assured smile, putting the banjo aside and moving far too close to him. Oh boy. When he was inevitably rescued by his brother, you escaped quickly through a window with a smile and a wink his way, intensifying his orange blush as he looked away. You still follow them around, looking to get some riches here or there. Whenever you encounter each other he can never look you in the eye, a rush of magic spreading across his face, which only makes the chase more fun for you. Eventually the crew outvotes him on trying to get you on board, and he really doesn't make too much of a fuss about it. At this point everyone just wants to see how this turns out between you two. (including him.)

Red Just because you flirted with him when trying to get him alone, doesn't mean he gets to keep flirting when he wakes up!! Every part of you gets complimented, every conversation topic gets turned into a pickup line, and every time you threaten him he tells you he's into that shit. You didn't even know skeletons had... eyebrows?? brow-bones?? but he keeps waggling them at you every time you try to get to the point. It's absolutely infuriating! Annoying! Revolting even! (so stop blushing!!) You are this close to hitting him in the face but he'll probably make a flirt out of that too. When his brother shows up to rescue collect him, you pretty much just shove Red at him and tell them both to get lost. Now every time you encounter each other he drops everything to flirt with you and to convince you to join them, even mid-fight. The crew knows about the whole thing too so you don't have the element of surprise anymore. God damn it.

Edge BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU- No but seriously he is pissed. You had jumped him from up high before he could set any traps to protect the ship's anchoring point! He would be even more pissed to be rescued by his crewmates, hoping to bust out by himself at least, or preferably even return without anyone knowing what had happened at all. Instead, you riled him up into talking, stole his keys and fled the little hideout to steal some of their treasure. Since most of the crew was looking for him on the shore you actually managed to steal some gems, but you were eventually cornered a few days later. He actually kinda respects your skills, he's just very butthurt to have been your first victim as the crew teases him for it a lot. In an act of reconciliation you prank the others and capture/'torture' them if any of them do something stupid or rude, showing everyone it's your skills that did him in and that he was no fool for falling prey to them. Although he nags about it to both them and you, he very quickly realizes that you are helping him keep the crew in check when they do dumb shit and you both reconnect from there. Now you're a terrifying couple to do stupid things around and you have quite the reputation. You both enjoy that a lot.

Razz You are confusing him with the way you act. You flatter him by calling him the most dangerous one there, saying how much research you had to do due to his reputation, telling him just how difficult it was to get some seastone to keep his powers in check... and you've stolen one of his maps too!! He is livid, seething, but keeps getting caught off guard by the flirtatious ways you address him. By the end of the day he's exhausted by the constant emotional whiplash you've been creating. When the crew comes for him you've already fled, leaving him tied to his chair. (insulting!!!) You sold his map for good money, which is how they tracked you down as he immediately recognises his own detailed work. You besting a guy like him made a good part of the crew curious about you though so now you are cautiously accepted in the group. Razz always brags about the quality of his maps to you and you tease him by telling him you'll steal them and sell them for a lot. Somehow, this has become the way you communicate. The higher a prize you name for a map, the higher its quality (and the more he blushes). When you're mad at him you tell him they won't sell cuz they look shitty. It's raining those days.

Cash He looked so tired and lanky that you hadn't realized he was part of the famed skeleton crew until you almost walked past him. It seems you surprised both yourself and him when you swiftly turned around and knocked him on the head, dragging him to your nearby hideout. Good thing you were always prepared for anything! And that no-one was watching. Now that he's awake, he's... far to meek. Almost a little smug, actually. You are suspicious of him, but he can't really do anything shackled up like this. Cash found himself in a really fun situation upon waking up: a good looking person standing over him, clearly ready to write things down in a little notebook and threatening him with the cutest little pocket knife he has ever seen. You remind him of his brother just a little bit... Welp, that does it. He's going to bully you into joining, this is too funny to pass up! Good thing he had impulsively stolen the keys from you before getting knocked out. Cash took you by surprise and carried you onto the ship, introducing you to everybody. He will never stop being a smug idiot about that story either.

Bear He's just sitting there, red eye on you and face blue. Maybe you shouldn't have come so close to threaten him, because as soon as you entered his personal space he completely spaced out. Fuck, did you get the mute one? How can you get information out of him like this! He's not holding anything of value either... maybe you can hand him in alone? It would ruin your beautiful complete-crew-cleanup-plan though... While you are contemplating just what to do with this guy, Bear is contemplating a few things himself: you're clearly not the most buff person, having relied on a sneak attack and the binds to keep him at bay. You were working on your own, which in a place like this likely meant you didn't have any close friends or family or you would've been in their gang instead. You also clearly didn't give a shit about his size, intimidating looks or injury, and while those thoughts made his face warm, it also meant you clearly had no sense of self preservation. Guess he has to take things into his own hands. He takes you by surprise by breaking the chair he was seated on, thus giving him enough space to remove his binds, and simply picking you up and taking you with him. He and the crew will take care of you from now on.

Cinnamon Ok you feel bad. He pretty much stumbled into your arms, apologizing profusely, called you pretty while looking up at you from within your arms and then apologized for the out of the blue statement in a whirlwind of stutters and sorrys. When after a second you recognised him from the wanted posters you knocked him over the head and he was out. You weren't even really hunting for the crew that day to be honest, just taking a stroll through the town for groceries. Now he's awake and stuttering so much you're not getting anything interesting out of him. You got close to his face to interrogate him properly and he almost passed out again. You end up dumping an awake him unceremoniously into his brother's lap, and now they know about you and are hunting you to be on their team instead. Sigh.

#sans x reader #papyrus x reader #pirate au #papyrus au #sans au #homemade fanworks #undertale au #Bear voice: so you are lonely fragile and stupid. Well guess what we are adopting you you'd fit right in.#Also my face feels warm when I see you. In order to fix this I will feed you soup. Perhaps a stew.#and Cinnamon is simping so hard the crew needs to try and get you on their team so he'll stop being distracted all the time.#Spoiler alert: it does not make him less distracted when u join lol

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secondbeatsongs · 9 months

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I might love sharknado too much you guys

#sharknado #personal #sbs rambles #id in alt text #the director! of sharknado!#retweeted my overenthusiastic rant about how much I love his movie!#also #the remaster was so good!#it was so clean. you could see so much detail!#the audio was better too #honestly it was just a much more professional version of the movie #with remade (but still very corny) visual effects #and I love that #I want to own it so badly #I'm so glad I saw it in theatres #wearing my ''watch for falling sharks'' shirt that clouds got me #it felt like it all coming full circle #also I guess maybe some of you guys don't know that I love sharknado?#spoiler alert: I love sharknado #saw every single one of them when they came out #taped the first one on VHS #sharknado my beloved #ETA: don't bother following me on twitter lol #I am not there #I only use it for communication purposes #like in this case #telling the director of sharknado how much I love him

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relax-and-read-on · 1 year

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I finished my session!!! To celebrate....

Primarch, and what they would have written in my literary creation class

(yes this is highly specific, no idc)

Lion: minimalist poetry done so that no one can say that he didn't do the assignment. There is 109 words spread on 8 pages. One of said page literally just say "I am Myself."

Mortarion: write a short story about a lil robot being basically condemn to die by an evil all powerful ai. Everyone miss the metaphor and start arguing about who the narrator is.

Roboute: Report a series of incidents of people seeing a black monolith ovni in the shape of Ohio, of all thing. Actually based of a real incident

Horus: Explain how many daddy issues he has. Pretty funny text, the 3 way in the middle of it was highly unnecessary.

Ferrus: the worst scifi short story of all time. Zero talent. One sentence goes on for 11 lines. Get called out for making a teluric planet the size of a gaseous one and walk out.

Fulgrim: poorly hidden self insert recounting his sexual exploit. Has the most graphic scene ever involving masturbation and a vacuum. Read it out loud to all.

Rogal: Describe a trip he took once. It's 8 pages long of beach descriptions. Seem to have a slightly weird obsession with crabs, and describe in great detail the battle between two.

Angron: write a scene where he basically explain how he day dream of a murder plot against an old colleague. Suspiciously well written, will avoid the police.

Sanguinius: a 3 part non-linear story about live, loss and death, beautifully written, that hint at a secret. Forgot to put the big reveal in the fucking final text.

Perturabo: write a story about childhood trauma and daddy issues. Violently infodump on everyone. Someone ask if the "I" instead of "he" in the middle of the text was voluntary. Refuse to answer. ,

Jaghatai: Write a long form prose poem that turn out to be the lyric to an instrumental only piece. Said piece is 6 minute long. He insist to play it in full for class.

Konrad: Write a self insert isekai fanfiction into Age of Sigmar. Surprisingly violent and sexual. Terribly written. Will probably become a succesful YA author.

Leman: Write an essay about his dog and how much he love him. It's actually quite touching. Even put cute pics of his dig at the end.

Alpharius Omegon: wrote a fake wikipedia page about a species of carnivorous lamppost walking around and eating people.

Corvus: Write a poem so completely confusing, there is a 20 minute debate on the subject. Ideas are: Death, sexual assault, prostitution, religious cults or drogues. The poem was actually about autumn and migratory birds.

Lorgar: write an in dept essay about the history of the first Rabbi in town. Somehow trackdown the surviving family member for an email interview. Completely bust the page count.

Vulkan: a very cute memory piece about being born in a large family and the hardship of it. Casually mention an unsolved murder. Everyone is disturbed.

Magnus: that 25 pages, 3 part essay/poem/experimental narrative text on the myth of the minotaur, feminism and the importance of myth. It was borderline unreadable.

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