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katareyoudrilling · 6 months

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The Sweepstakes: Dave York (Porn Star AU)

Pairing: Porn Star Dave York x Female Reader

Summary: You’ve never been able to explore your kinks with a partner. Could a night with a porn star give you that opportunity?

Word count: ~2.6k

Rating: Explicit (18+ only. NO MINORS)

Content Warnings: kink negotiation, some choking and breath play, unprotected PiV (paperwork is involved), oral sex (m and f receiving), multiple orgasms

A/N: This is rougher sex than I have written before, and I definitely got in my head about it. Please heed the warnings, but also know that it’s still me writing it, no matter how much Dave York tried to say otherwise. The company mentioned is heavily inspired by Bellesa. Bonus points to anyone who can guess which performer in particular inspired this one. Enjoy!

Comments and reblogs are always greatly appreciated!

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Taglist – link in my bio and on my Masterlist

You can’t believe you’re standing in the room you’ve seen so many times on your laptop and phone. White walls, hardwood floor, gauzy white curtains, and most importantly… the bed.

You take a deep, calming breath and wipe your damp palms down your leggings as pace around the room waiting for him to arrive.

It all started when you saw an ad for “The Sweepstakes” advertised on your favorite porn site. It said, “Enter for a chance to win a night with your favorite porn star!” You filled out the form before you could even stop to think about it.

You won and now you wait anxiously for your choice to arrive – Dave York.

You love Dave’s videos. He can go from laughing and flirting to intense and demanding in the blink of an eye. It’s ridiculous how much that dichotomy turns you on.

You don’t feel turned on right now, though. You feel very, very nervous. You take another calming breath just as the doors open and Dave York walks in.

In his more scripted videos, he’s often cast as a businessman, wearing a suit and tie, or maybe just a dress shirt and slacks. In the casual, unscripted ones, he wears all black.

That’s what he’s wearing today.

His black sweater strains across his broad, muscled shoulders. Track pants hang low on his trim waist. He’s clean shaven and his dark hair is short and neat. If it weren’t for the intensity of his gaze, he would probably just look like an average guy.

He’s anything but.

Dave extends his hand to you and introduces himself. You manage to fight through the haze of nerves and arousal to do the same.

“Erin asked me to go over your sexual interest survey with you to make sure we’re on the same page, since your tastes run on the rough side.” His deep, gravelly voice vibrates through your body sending jolts of need to your core. It’s so much better in person than through a tiny phone speaker.

You met with the director, Erin, earlier in the day to sign releases and fill out paperwork related to your sexual history, health, and interests. You even agreed to be filmed for your private use. A chance like this doesn’t come around every day.

You nod and Dave looks down at the papers he’s holding.

“Let’s start with spanking, how hard do you like it?” he asks, warm brown eyes meeting yours.

“I… uhhh…. I don’t actually know,” you stammer. Dave waits patiently for you to continue. “My partners have never been willing to uhh… try things with me.” That’s an understatement. Not only have your partners not been willing, they have looked at you like you were crazy. “I like watching it. I like it when you do it,” you choke out, heat flooding your cheeks as you look anywhere but at him.

Dave sets the papers down on the bed and reaches for you, lifting your chin up so you meet his eyes.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed.” His hypnotic, liquid chocolate gaze starts to melt the tension you’re holding in your shoulders. “We can try these things and find out if you like them, but you have to talk to me. If you can’t, then we can’t. Can you do that?”

You nod.

“Say it,” he commands, but not unkindly. Heat floods your center.

“I can do that,” you answer, a bit breathlessly.

“If you say no, or stop, or anything else to indicate something isn’t working for you, I will stop immediately. Understood?”

“I understand.”

“Good,” he smiles and picks up the paper again. “Let’s talk about breath play.”

A burst of adrenaline floods your body as Dave moves closer to you. Holding your gaze, he lifts his arm and places the heal of his hand against your collarbone. Your heart beats loudly in your ears as he gently wraps his fingers around your throat. You can still breathe normally even as he squeezes gently.

“I will not squeeze harder than this, is this ok?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

“Good, remember at any time you can tell me to stop, and I will. Now…” he removes his hand from your throat and brings it towards your mouth. “I will only cover your nose and mouth for five seconds at a time, ok?”

“Ok,”

“Let’s practice.”

Staring intently into your eyes, he covers your nose and mouth and counts to five. Your fingers and toes tingle as the adrenaline courses through your body. Dave’s pupils dilate as he watches your reaction.

Five seconds isn’t very long at all, but you gulp in air when he removes his hand. The rush goes straight to your head and you sway towards him. Large hands steady your shoulders.

“How was that? Are you ok?” he asks, his voice husky with his own arousal.

“That was… very good,” you reply shakily. Your pussy is already throbbing, and you’ve barely begun.

“Good,” Dave murmurs. He’s still so close. You can feel the warmth radiating off his body, he squeezes your arms before letting his hands drop. “Is there anything else you want?”

“I want…” you take a shaky breath, locked into Dave’s hypnotic gaze, “to be thrown around a little.”

Dave licks his lips, “Fuck yes,” he replies, closing the distance between you. “You want me to use you?” His eyes are as black as his sweater as he crowds your vision. Desire ripples off him in waves. It hits you that he desires you and it and makes your knees weak. You nod, hypnotized by his gaze.

“Can I kiss you?” he practically growls.

You whimper yes and melt into him as he plunges his tongue into your mouth. He’s so intense and overwhelming. God, you hope the cameras are already recording.

Your head swims with arousal as he explores your mouth, pulling you tighter against his broad frame. Your hands fist in his sweater as you fight the urge to climb up his body.

You break apart panting. Dave steps back, his large hands helping keep you steady.

“I have to take this back to Erin,” he swallows and holds up your paperwork, now slightly crinkled from getting crushed between your bodies, “and give you a few minutes to make sure you haven’t changed your mind.”

Dave steps away from you and heads for the door. You can’t help but notice the bulge in his pants that wasn’t there before. You lower yourself to sit on the edge of the bed on wobbly legs.

He pauses at the door and turns back to you, “One more question. Are you wearing underwear?”

“No,” you blurt out, surprised. He smirks and leaves the room.

You collapse backwards onto the bed, taking in a deep lungful of air to try to calm down. You’re embarrassingly wet between your legs.

No.

Not embarrassing, you correct yourself.

Just because your previous partners haven’t been open to trying these kinks does not make it embarrassing that you are into them. There wouldn’t be a whole industry devoted to these things if you were the only one. Dave certainly seems to be.

You push yourself back up to sitting. The nerves you felt when you waited for him the first time have burned away in the wake of your arousal. Your knee bounces impatiently as you wait for him to come back.

You pop back onto your feet when you hear the door handle begin to turn. Dave enters the room with a question in his eye. You nod. There is no way you have changed your mind.

He stalks towards you like a jungle cat and pulls you into another kiss, hands cradling your face. He’s less desperate this time, but still eager, confident, demanding.

You allow your hands to run down his sides, over the rippling muscles under his thin sweater. You feel the divot at his hipbone, but instead of trailing down to explore the swell you feel against your abdomen, you slip your hands under his sweater and draw them up his back.

Dave chuckles and breaks the kiss, allowing you to pull his sweater off over his head. You drag your fingers down the smooth, golden skin of his chest. You whimper as your fingers get to the waistband of his pants.

He reclaims your mouth with a curse and turns you, so the backs of your legs knock against the side of the bed. His large hands roam down your body and hitch under your thighs. Before you realize what he’s doing, he lifts you up and tosses you onto the bed.

You squeal as you bounce. But before your bottom hits the bed a second time, Dave whips your leggings down past your ass and pushes your knees into your chest. He dives into your pussy like a man starved.

Your squeals of surprise rapidly turn into moans as his expert tongue sweeps over your throbbing cunt. His question about underwear makes sense now.

Your hands scrabble for purchase on the bedding as Dave presses you open and feasts at your core.

All the buildup of being here, discussing your list, and finally getting to kiss and touch the subject of so many of your fantasies has you pulsing against his mouth in no time.

Dave pulls back from you to stand by the bed with a satisfied smirk on his face, pulling your leggings the rest of the way off and tossing them on the floor.

As your orgasm fades, leaving you boneless on the bed, you can’t help the huge smile that spreads across your face, or the laugh that escapes your chest.

“What’s so funny,” Dave watches you from beside the bed, eyes twinkling.

“You just… just…. that was so good and I’m just so glad I’m here,” you smile up at him. You’re no longer nervous. You’re excited to be here and experience all of this with him.

“I’m glad you’re here too.” Dave begins to pull down his track pants and you scramble up and over to him to kneel eagerly at the side of the bed. Now it’s Dave’s turn to laugh. “Do you want something, beautiful?”

You preen internally at the nickname and don’t even bother to hide your enthusiasm.

“I want to suck your cock.”

“Look who has things to say now. I think that orgasm loosened your tongue,” he teases you gently, his eyes flashing with humor and want as he frees the cock you’ve been dreaming about.

He’s so perfect.

You lick your lips and pull your top over your head before lining up to take him in your mouth. Dave hisses as you draw him in. He strokes your cheek and neck as he watches you.

With every flick of your tongue the ache between your legs builds, until you’re moaning around him with every stroke.

You pop off to catch your breath and Dave eagerly claims your mouth. He climbs on the bed, pushing you onto your back and crowding your vision, never taking his mouth of you. He kisses down your neck and nips at your shoulders and breasts as he lines up at your entrance.

“You ready for this cock, beautiful?”

You nod and pull him towards you with your heels.

“So eager for it,” Dave growls as he presses into your wet heat.

Your eyes roll back in your head as he fills you so perfectly. He plies you with long, firm strokes, pressing you deeper into the mattress, covering your body with his.

He’s all you can see and feel and you melt beneath him, giving yourself over to the force of him. Your orgasm begins to build in the distance, but before it can take hold, Dave rolls the two of you so that you’re now on top.

His hands stroke up your torso, cupping your breasts and tweaking your nipples as you adjust to the new angle.

Dave pistons up into you, his abdominal muscles tensing with the effort. His strong hands hold your hips firmly against him. A boldness you’ve never felt before washes over you as you grasp one of his hands and bring it to your throat.

He places his hand exactly as he said he would, at the base of your throat. You lean into him, knowing you are in control and could lean back at any time, but the theoretical danger of it sizzles under your skin. His strong fingers squeeze slightly sending dizzying waves of pleasure through your body.

You stare into his eyes, never breaking contact, as he brings you to the brink. Your clit throbs, seeking the friction of his body, you’re so close to breaking when he pulls out and flips you over onto your stomach.

He drags your hips in the air and presses your shoulders down onto the bed as he drives into you and smacks your ass. Your pussy clenches in response.

“You like that don’t you?”

“Yes, oh my god yes,” you babble incoherently.

“I feel that tight pussy grabbing me.” He smacks your ass again for emphasis and you clench around him again.

He is so deep in this position. He thrusts into you slowly, dragging his cock against your sensitive walls, allowing the orgasm to ebb away in favor of slow sensation punctuated with the stinging of his palm.

You press your hips back into him, savoring every thrust and allowing your mind to drift. You are not in control here. He will move you when he’s ready, you don’t have to think, just feel.

Seemingly to prove your point, he pulls out and flips you once again. This time onto your side before pulling you into his chest.

His strong arms band around your hips and shoulders as he enters your slippery cunt from behind. You are at his mercy and nothing has ever made you feel more alive.

He nibbles at your ear as he spews praise and filth under his breath – how good you feel, how wet you are, how he’s going to make you come so hard.

You don’t doubt his promises and when his hand comes up to cover your mouth, all you can do is take and take and take his cock.

You are only need and sensation, unable to move other than how he moves you. Everything else falls away except the white hot pleasure taking over your body. He has edged you over and over and you half expect him to do it again, but this time your climax is barreling towards you at full force.

“Give it to me,” Dave demands in your ear, and you launch off a cliff.

He removes his hand and you gasp for air, sparks clouding your vision. He doesn’t let up as you pulse and scream around him. He presses on your mound, intensifying the waves of pleasure wracking through your body.

He stutters and moans raggedly behind you, emptying himself into your fluttering pussy.

You sag against him, spent and floating. He presses kisses between your shoulder blades and up your neck as he helps disentangle your bodies.

You catch your breath, staring at the ceiling above you and then over at the glistening man next to you.

“That was…. amazing.” A whole new world has been opened to you, and you definitely like it. “Thank you.”

Dave props himself up on his elbow and looks down at you, angular jaw and aquiline nose catching the light of the fading sunset.

“That was just round one, beautiful. You have me all night.” He winks before kissing you once again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Taglist- in reblog

#the sweepstakes #dave york #dave york x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character

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wannab-urs · 17 days

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Outtakes - Sex Work

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy folks!

Here's a list of fics I've read where either the reader or the pedro boy or both are sex workers. We are pro sex work in this house!

Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.

updated 5/24/2024

Pedro Boy is the sex worker

Sex Worker!Frankie AU

Frankie series by @prolix-yuy

You’d never thought you’d be sitting on a hotel room bed, phone to your ear as you waited for someone on the other end to pick up. After a messy divorce you wanted something to ease the pain of loneliness. That something just happens to be the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen, even if you had to pay for him.

Sex Worker!Frankie, implied other Triple Frontier Boys!Sex Workers, watch me make up shit about sex work, descriptions of male and female bodies, oral sex (F receiving), like super descriptive oral (there might be over 2500 words dedicated to Frankie’s talents), female masturbation, fingering (f receiving), safe PiV sex, a touch of Feral Frankie, one ass slap, fingers in mouths, some angst and feelings sprinkled in there for flavor.

"Din"scord Kitten

Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

When bounty hunting doesn’t work out anymore Din has to turn to alternative methods to support himself.

this is a crack fic lmao, Discord/Venmo/Dr. Pepper existing in Star Wars, bad sexting, dick pics, masturbating, bad Star Wars puns, sex work, cummies needs its own warning 😭, pet names (cyar’ika), oral sex (M receiving), cum eating, no use of y/n

The Sweepstakes

Various Pedro Boys series @katareyoudrilling

A collection of standalone one-shots featuring various Pedro boys. A popular porn site runs a contest for viewers to win a night with their favorite porn star.

Unprotected PiV (paperwork is involved), oral sex (m and f receiving), kink negotiation, some choking and breath play

Fluffer

Dieter one shot by @proxima-writes

fluffer - noun - someone on a pornographic film set that keeps a male performer’s penis erect in between scenes. You’re a production assistant on the set of an adult film starring Dieter Bravo, who mistakes you for his fluffer.

explicit sexual content (18+ MDNI), porn star AU, dub con - mistaken identity, oral sex - female receiving, face sitting, multiple orgasms, vaginal fingering, squirting.

Extra Whipped Cream

Dieter one shot by @pettyprocrastination

A pornstar walks into a coffee shop. Havoc ensues.

curses, past description of smut, talking about porn

Good Taste

Din series by @charnelhouse

He wonders if it’s in bad taste to fuck a PA at the annual holiday party.

question of power since reader is a PA. Mention of drugs. Smut. Age Gap.

Reader is the sex worker

Bouquet (+ Bloom and Blossom)

Dieter series by @mypoisonedvine

Quarantined in his hotel room has dieter getting a little stir crazy. When the drugs run out, he has to find a new vice—that's how he found you.

Smut, video chat sex, sex toys, masturbation (male and female), sex work, camgirl!reader, housewife kink, breeding kink, PWP, feelings, unprotected penetrative vaginal sex, oral sex (female receiving), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, creampie, mention of the COVID-19 pandemic, fluff, soft!Dieter

Defanged

Din one shot by @concussed-to-pieces

Din gets accidentally dosed with a sex pollen drug and comes to your establishment for help. Then he fucks you all night :)

Sex Pollen, sex work, sex worker!reader, accidental dosing (mando), blindfolded reader, tit fucking, nipple play, oral m receiving, soft!mando, the helmet comes off, soft dom!mando, consensually drugged reader, oral f receiving, unprotected PIV, fingering f receiving, dirty talk, consent king!mando, uhhh sexy massage?, mild sir kink, intercrural sex, dub con due to sex pollen

Bunny

Javi P series by @whatsnewalycat

Javi is your client and you're a phone sex operator / It didn't take you long to figure out that your new co-worker, Javier Peña, is a former client from your days working a phone sex line. But does he know who you are?

Phone sex, masturbation, aliens, professor javi, former phone sex operator reader, professor reader, co-workers, seduction, yearning, dirty talk, smut, smoking, swearing, drinking, sex worker!reader

Only Angel

Javi P series by @tieronecrush

After his return to the US, Javier is trying to settle back into a normal life without the pressures of Colombia and the DEA, but he finds himself feeling isolated with no one to spend his nights with. Now a newly appointed criminology professor at Texas A&M, he is drawn to you, a post-grad student in one of his classes. You’re intelligent and witty, sweet and kind, and he can’t get you out of his mind. To cope with his growing loneliness and to rid himself of thoughts of you, he signs up for an “arrangement service” to connect him with somebody—a sugar baby—he can care for. After he is matched up with Angel, he finds himself developing feelings quicker than he ever expected, but what happens when he finds out Angel is really you?

power imbalance (prof and student), sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, discussion of money, criminal activity, judicial systems, graduate school, smut, daddy/papí kink, praise kink, degradation, self deprecation, discussion of self worth, multiple sexual or romantic partners, sex work, cursing, use of spanish

Ravish

Joel series by @psychedelic-ink

Joel, only now starting to feel the impending sense of loneliness, decides to listen to Tommy and sign up on an online streaming service called Ravish.

cam girl!reader, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, Alternate Universe - No Outbreak, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Spanking, Sex Toys, paddles, Nipple Play, Nipple Clamps, Dirty Talk, joel is bi in this, POV Alternating, Mutual Masturbation, Masturbation, possesive!joel, Come Eating, Oral Sex, Size Kink, pillow humping, Live Stream Sex, Webcam Sex, good girl/sir, Light BDSM, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous!Joe, Titjob, Squirting

Go ahead and cry little girl

Jack Daniels one shot by @xdaddysprincessxx

Daddy issues with Agent Whiskey

Daddy issues!!, character death mentioned, daddy kink, piv (again wrap it up guys!), f & m oral, dacryphillia, 1 use of song lyrics, dirty talk (it’s jack mf Daniels what did you expect?) boss/employee dynamics, sex work (we support sex workers in this household!) squirting, voyeurism, cum eating, Reader is described as having hair, a vagina, well hydrated (; and can blush. daddy kink

Carnal

Joel series by @pascalsbby

You thought you had it all figured out before him. Animals. Tender, primal flesh. That’s what we are at the end of the day, no? Fucking, testing one another, and then eating each other alive, heart first. Maybe the heart is the sweetest part of the body- or maybe it’s just the easiest to get to. You knew you wanted to be completely devoured by him. You wanted to fill the space between his teeth. When he turned from the nude woman painted on the wall, a version of you in oil, to the warm, guts and roaring blood of you- the gash completely tore itself open in the moments it took for his eyes to eat you in. Every nerve ending in his forty-plus years heeding, 7 trillion of them.

SMUT, age gap (24/50s), best friends dad, dad’s best friend, stalking, conversation around trauma (not graphic or specified as SA), sex work, dark, overall pervy Joel & pure filth + more.

A Good Friend to Have

Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

You and your friend work at a brothel on Coruscant, while work is slow she reveals that she owes a debt to a loan shark who is willing to pay out a bounty to anyone who brings her in. When a Mandalorian shows up at the brothel you do everything you can think of to distract the bounty hunter and buy her time to escape.

Smut, canon divergence, sex work, edging, orgasm denial, Dom/sub dynamic, masturbation, penetrative vaginal sex, helmet stays on, helmet riding

The Princess and the Duke

Dave York series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Your hot stepdad Dave York catches you creating OnlyFans content.

Smut, daddy kink, sex work, infidelity, stepcest, possessive!Dave, sexism, choking, degradation, rough sex, oral sex (male receiving), exhibitionism, alternating point of view

Whatta Man

Marcus Pike series by @atinylittlepain

He's looking for something other than vanilla, and she is more than happy to provide such a service to him.

this is smut, pegging, rimming, sucking and fucking, sex work, lowkey sugardaddy!marcus, sweet shy marcus getting his world rocked, and then pancakes and a blackberry and a black american express card so ya know, the works.

To sell your love for peace

Javi P series by @brandyllyn

You are Javier’s newest informant. You’re not his usual type but he’s willing to make an exception. More than one.

smut, sex work, canon typical violence, javi being a moron

some good friend

Tim Rockford one shot by @covetyou

Nerves were coiling in his belly in a way they typically only did at the end of a big case. There was no judge or jury here, no sentence, no surprise acquittal. There was just your door, and the promise of everything that lay beyond it. And it made him nervous.

pegging, anal fingering, praise kink, mild glove kink, very mild feminization, masturbation, Tim has body image issues and a bit of an identity crisis, kind of coming untouched, sex work, comfort

Fare Well

Dieter one shot by @nerdieforpedro

Dieter has been working so hard. He still has an issue that might be because of his mind. What can he do about it? Do anything else.

unhealthy coping, sexual dysfunction, sex work, teasing, pet names, sexual activity (actual and implied I think? I should know. 🙃)

I don't mind bleeding

Din one shot by @quicksilvermad

You and the Mandalorian have a mutually beneficial relationship—he pays your rent and you feed him when he needs fresh blood.

vampire!Din, blood, PIV sex, biting, sex work, second person POV, AFAB Reader, one instance of "good girl", aftercare

Spent

Din one shot @joelscruff

you're a prostitute and din pays you for your services.

prostitution, dirty talk, creampie, slight degradation, helmet stays on

What happens on coruscant, stays on coruscant

Din/Poe/Cassian series by @beskarandblasters

Three men stroll into a brothel on Coruscant one night looking for their own individual services. But when you’re the only worker available that evening you decide you want to take on all of them at the same time. What started out as a professional relationship crosses the line into personal quickly leading to conflict between friends, betrayal and a choice you have to make.

reader is able-bodied, canon divergent, Poe, Cassian and the reader do not know Din’s name, sex work, reader has an alias she uses at the brothel (Nova), foursome/group sex, blowjob, handjob (but not to completion), nipple play, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, voyeurism, no use of y/n

They're both sex workers

Morning (+ Afternoon and Evening)

Dieter series by @write-and-buried

They gave you your choice of talent. How could you pick anyone else?

brief mention of pandemic, professional sex work, fingering, orgasm delay, dirty talk (like... woah dirty), size kink, praise kink, hand kink, orgasm delay, pussy slapping, its also a little strangely soft, squirting, rimming, throatfucking, PinV sex, premature ejaculation, facial, creampie,

I know it when I see it

Joel series by @bageldaddy

it's the golden age of porn. sex and sin are the national pastime. your career in adult films starts opposite a man who goes by the name texas.

sex work, masturbation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, it’s literally porn, age gap (unspecified), oral sex, dirty talk, explicit p in v sex, praise, catholic guilt, cowboy puns, mild angst, masturbation, more terrible porn puns, sex with other unnamed characters, mutual pining, coercive sexual encounters, references to sexual violence, discussions of advocacy and autonomy, drug use, premature ejaculation, come eating/felching, fingering, squirting, dirty bar sex, public sex, a lot of feelings, more feelings than porn, angst

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #ppcu fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #the spreadsheet outtakes #outtakes

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morallyinept · 5 months

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A list of all my favourite MARCUS PIKE Fic Recs, with the writers tagged. Includes fics I am currently reading/want to read.

Please show some love to the writers by re-blogging and commenting on their work. 🖤

PART 3

⚠️ Please ensure you check the triggers/warnings etc... on the stories themselves as some of them may not be suitable to your own particular tastes.

The Longest Night - @agentmarcuspike

The Interrogation Series - @charethcutestory02 Featuring Dave York & Javier Pena

I'm Here & Affirmations Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3 - @davnittbraes

Couples Getaway Series - @katareyoudrilling Featuring Dave York

The Sweepstakes - Marcus Pike & Marcus Pike Epilogue - @katareyoudrilling PornStar!Marcus

I Can't Believe You're This Innocent - @missredherring

A Baker's Dozen - Marcus Pike - @avastrasposts

She's Under The Weather, Tulip - @nerdieforpedro

Birthday Kiss - Marcus Pike - @something-tofightfor

Dirty - @bitchesuntitled

Give & Take - @agentmarcuspike

Lost In Our Vices Series - @thetriumphantpanda Professor!Marcus

One Night - @secretelephanttattoo

The Art Of Healing Series - @northernbluess

All About That Bass - @katareyoudrilling

Love At First... Bite - @goodwithcheese

Prince F*ucking Charming - @toomanystoriessolittletime

The Louvre - @psychedelic-ink

Long Distance - @ladamedusoif

Confetti - @secretelephanttattoo

The Worthwhile Fight - @swiftispunk

Keep It - @jksprincess10

Butterflies - Spring Prompts - @nerdieforpedro

The Ghost Of You Series - @write-down-your-dreams Ghost!Reader

Playdate Series - @daddy-dins-girl Featuring Dave York

One Condition - @pedroshotwifey Featuring Ezra

Second Chances Series - @pedroscurls Neighbour!Marcus

In Shades Of Gray & Candlelight - @freelancearsonist

Only For You - @burntheedges

Congressman Marcus Pike Series - @leslie-lyman

Lujuria - @absurdthirst Sex Pollen

The Plan - @criticallyacclaimedstranger

Something New - @ezrasbirdie PlusSize!Reader

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight - @whataperfectwasteoftime

#marcus pike #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike smut #marcus pike fluff #marcus pike the mentalist #marcus pike x you #jett's fic recs #fic recs

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spoookydoesart · 20 days

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So the snow globe from Spamton’s sweepstakes definitely means SOMETHING, right?

Other than a sans joke of course.

But I think by now people know that the snow globe is actually a Nightmare Before Christmas snow globe which! If you think about it

A creature from another world whose entire existence is to do one specific thing for humans accidentally discovers another world and falls in love. They do everything in their power to once again get a taste of that, but are tied back by their species and inability to truly comprehend anything besides their purpose. They put on the costume of some supernatural flying figure to try and achieve this, but are ultimately sent crashing down and have to grapple with the fact that they can’t change the reality of their own situation.

Not only do Jack and Spamton have a very similar story, but Spamton also (in a less direct way) twists and weaponizes christmas (a la Noelle) to achieve his goals.

I don’t know if people had already recognized this but I love both properties and the fact that they have any overlap makes me so happy.

EDIT: HOLY SHIT IM BLIND.

Okay I know what’s it’s saying is that ‘the only person you can trust is Spamton’

But idkkkk, the fact that ‘is Spamton’ is its own bullet point……

#deltarune #spamton deltarune #rambles

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taralen · 10 months

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The BEST ♡ & The [[Worst]]

"Pathetic."

B. Addison decided that a cute photo was just the thing to motivate and help boost the performance of the team's newest member, Spamton! Pairing him up with their top salesman, P. Addison, B. Addison had the two stand in front of a newly opened corner store looking to boost patronage by collaborating with the Addison Team. By flaunting Spamton's unique "asset," he was sure that pairing him with the handsome and popular P. Addison would allow them to complement each other and appeal to the tastes of Cyber City's scrupulous shoppers.

Using their partial levitation powers, the two stood by the tips of their toes. However, with Spamton's lack of poise, P. Addison was beside him like a smiling statue, uncomparable to the newbie trembling as he struggled to maintain form.

Still, B. Addison cheered them both for a job well done, encouraging Spamton to continue working on his posture. Unfortunately, P. Addison, irritated by Spamton's dearth of grace, glared at the shorter man, eyes shadowed by contempt.

ʚ♡ɞ ʚ♡ɞ ʚ♡ɞ

Just a silly thing I doodled and then decided to do something with. Thanks, Spamton Sweepstakes, for forever reminding me that Spamton is CAKED UP.

Done as a joke, but it has some serious undertones. Oooh... (╯•﹏•╰)

As usual, the white hair version is available for those who prefer it. 8^)

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funnyfooddatabase · 1 year

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Pepsi x IHOP’s #ShowUsYourStack Sweepstakes Maple Syrup Pepsi

Drink

Type of Funny Food: Event

Introduced: March 2022

Location: Contest Reward

As part of IHOP and Pepsi’s crossover “#ShowUsYourStack” sweepstakes, 2,000 lucky winners were given a can of the two brand’s synergetic creation: maple syrup-flavored Pepsi. All the contest participants had to do was post a photo of a stack of pancakes on Twitter or Instagram, use the hashtag #ShowUsYourStack and #PepsiSweepstakes, and tag IHOP.

The winning participants' cans came in a pancake stack-shapes package, and came with a syrup spout that could be fitted atop the can to give it the appearance of a syrup bottle. The soda’s flavor was a blend of maple syrup and caramel along with the typical Pepsi taste.

The jury is out on whether or not these actually go well together with pancakes.

#contest #drink #soda #funny food #maple syrup #event

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blurredblonde · 8 months

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BUCKET LIST, including the strange, the wild, the weird, and the borderline undoable

Go to a nude beach

spread eagle naked towards the sun

use Pinterest business to do brand links and get any amount of $$ from that alone

go to a pole dancing class

try hot yoga

do a burlesque show in Melbourne

post an animation to youtube

start a webtoon

learn to sew

get an apartment by myself

get an apartment with friends

post a shitty homemade music video in a lana del rey way with the help of friends

get a perm

visit coney island

be 125 pounds

get a the dachshund tattoo

post a vlog like im famous

be a extra in a movie

act in a gay indie movie like norman reedus

go to a gorillaz concert

get a snake

get a record player

meet a sugar mommy

go to a jazz bar alone

get a dressed up like a old hollywood star and go have a night on the town

get my license

own a mustang

ride a motorcycle

go to a mosh pit

go to a rave

get black out drunk

go skinny dipping

publish a art book

own a beach house

get a red gingham bikini

take a slutty picture in a american flag bikini and post it to instagram

go diving with whale sharks

be a art director on a project

do a mural on a wall

complete a painting on an obnoxiously large canvas

make a pop song with no knowledge of music or mixing

work on a big animated film

Do a boudoir photoshoot

party in paris

do a full cosplay

pet a pigeon

get a scuba diving license

explore an abandoned building

kiss a stranger

get in a fist fight

flash my boobs at something

attend a figure drawing class

be the nude model at a figure drawing class

receive fanart of my own characters

create a reel showing school doodles

be the cinematographer for a project

take a history class

be a dive instructor

post a animation meme to a jack stauber song

go on vacation all by myself

have sex

be in a youtube video

go on the video side of omegle

visit japan

go to a film festival

jump off a pier

do a pin-up photoshoot

go to an acting interview

heh

open an online store

do artist alley at a convention

cross country roadtrip with friends

stargaze on top of a car

invest in stocks and real estate

go on a cruise to thailand and thrift there

go to the new york library

visit bora bora

learn to play guitar

draw on the sidewalk with chalk

nurture and take care of a plant

grow my own food

get chickens

join a club in uni

take a pottery class

work out in a gym

surf a barrel

buy a surfboard

meditate for 50 days in a row

travel in a van

fly first class

go on a blind date

buy and fill a photo album book

kiss in the rain

do a thirty-day photography challenge and post the whole thing

explore the woods by my house

go to a ball/masquerade party

host a dinner party

say yes to everything for a day

grow my hair past my ass

become mildly fluent in french

attend golbeins animation workshop

buy an obnoxiously large rug

smell the tomford cherry perfume

get a Brazilian wax

get henna done

go to Brisbane museum by myself

get my i.d

go wine tasting

visit Miami

Meet my online best friend

dine at the ritz

go on a gameshow

do tent camping

win a sweepstake

create a artist porfolio/website

be featured in a gallery

go to okinawa

learn to ballroom dance

ride a horse on a beach/ and or backwards

go to a country club

bake a pie

buy a tourist t-shirt

do a escape room

live in Santa Barbara

stay in cape cod

belly dancing class

get my art viral on tiktok

do a commision

buy a fancy wardrobe

have a room with a slanted roof

sleep in a pool in an inflatable pool

snuggle with nurse sharks

bayonetta mui mui glasses.

go out in a pair of high heels

do a show at a convention

stay at the madonna inn

do lesbian handkerchief flagging in public

do a 'nude' photoshoot

own every sims 4 pack

complete a sims4 generations challenge

play subnautica

swim a motel pool at night

pick a girl from a bar

get a drinks bought for me

smoke a ciggrette

try mixology

get a hickey

have a friend or myself sew vintage patterns

wear a tailored suit

buy real cowgirl boots

bathe in a heart shaped tub

take a rose petal bath

stick a polaroid of myself somewhere public

use spray paint

do a vintage glamour competition

own a house with stain glass windows

go to a cathedral

get pink lace curtains

paint a room

milk a cow

replay Detriot become human

do a live stream

do a lesbian event like a cruise or smth

go to a pride parade

participate on a float in a parade

be a scare actor

act in a play

see a broadway show

shoot a gun

drive a convertible

see lana del rey in concert

do modelling work

do a commercial

buy a sewing machine

drive the road without directions

write a screenplay

submit a film for a competition

pitch an animated show

take a opportunity that scares me

do public karaoke

buy a shitty 2000s camera

get a boat license

buy a boat

go to a random diner

sell clothes on depop

play a drinking game with mates

stay in a hotel with mates

do a draw my life

do a drawing for each section of my Pinterest board

get my fortune told/ future read

buy some mega flare jeans

post a picture of myself to Pinterest/ start a 'me' board

buy some colorful tights

get blue streaks through my blonde hair like aquamarine

drop in on a skateboard

buy a castle

party at Hearst castle

post another fanfic to ao3

dress up in a slutty Halloween costume,its a rite of passage

bake and decorate a fancy cake for someone

#my bucket list #coquette #lesbian

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frenchifries · 2 years

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Deltarune.com “Secret” Pages

People have already catalogued the secret pages in Google Docs (1, 2), but they’re a little scattered for my tastes, so I thought I’d try to make my own. This is a compilation of information discovered by myself and many other people, so lots of credit goes to everyone who contributed to the linked documents!

1 & 2. code & code/comments

The bottom of the sweepstakes page contains this banner...

...which links to this “blog post” in which Noelle mentions the official Dragon Blazers website (an in-universe video game many Deltarune characters play) updating with “a bunch of weird links.” The number of links mentioned was originally lower (the first reported number seems to be 14), but increased as more pages went live on the Deltarune site, capping out at 26.

The included audio file, midi-holiday-country.mp3, is a country-style rendition of jingle bells. In the post comments, Berdly attempts to convince Noelle to make him a mod or admin of the blog, which she rejects by alleging that her computer is bugged and the admin panel won’t work.

Berdly also complains that someone keeps prank calling him, as he has included his phone number in his username; the number was originally a static fake phone number (beginning with 555) but was at some point changed to randomize itself on every page load; it still has a 555 area code, and the number itself is one digit too long to be valid.

Jockington comments to ask if Dragon Blazers contains sports; it doesn’t.

3. icee

The sweepstakes page also displays one of three randomized banners. this one...

...links to a page titled Have you seen him? containing a submission from Noelle as a young child (with poor spelling and grammar) in which she encountered a creepy Ice-e’s pizza box. As we know from her room in Queen’s mansion, Noelle has had something of a fixated fear of the Ice-e character, worrying that he’s real and potentially dangerous.

The mention of Noelle’s sister at the end there is exciting! Let’s see what that links to!

4. december

...Oh. Well, you will notice this is of course a fake 404 page. It could certainly be a reference to the fact that December is known to be missing, perhaps even trapped outside of reality/within the game’s code itself. The note “had its name changed” could also be trying to make a point that Noelle’s sister doesn’t actually go by that name anymore; After all, we’ve mostly heard her referred to as...

5. dess

This page doesn’t seem to be linked from anywhere, but its existence may be intentionally hinted at by the above page. It contains a sprite of a guitar, and the page title reads * (It’s a red guitar).

When the guitar is clicked, a version of Lost Girl plays. The song is called findher.mp3, and was also uploaded as a short, titled decemberholiday.ogg, to the holidaygirl1225 Youtube channel (we might circle back on this in another post, as this one is going to be atrociously long).

All of this suggests that the song Lost Girl is indeed intended to be associated, at least in part, with our very own lost girl Dess Holiday, and that Dess may have played guitar. Interestingly, when Deltarune Chapter 2 is hacked so you can attempt to equip the Puppet Scarf to Noelle, she comments that it “feels like guitar strings.” Noelle is known to draw comparisons to things that remind her of her sister.

6. secretpipis

Now, let’s get back to those banners.

This one links to a page with an image of a single pipis, which plays a crowd gasping sound effect (crowd_gasp.mp3) when clicked. the page is titled You lost! Not much else to this one.

7. secret

The final banner we’re looking at links to a page titled But what’s behind door number one? containing a 4x4 grid of blue cabinets.

Clicking each cabinet opens it, accompanied by a sound effect labeled wing.mp3. Most will simply show the open empty cabinet and play a crowd groaning sound effect (crowd_ouch.mp3). The following cabinets will trigger different effects:

Row 1, Column 2: A Ralsei plush appears, accompanied by the adoring crowd_aww.mp3.

Row 2, Column 3: A pipis appears, accompanied by crowd_gasp.mp3.

Row 3, Column 4: A photo of an empty gumball machine appears, accompanied by crowd_ahh.mp3.

Row 4, Column 1: A cropped screenshot from the Wikipedia page for the website Superbad, a “web art” project from the late 90s.

Row 4, Column 3: Links to...

8. chair

This eerie page contains a picture of a chair with a cloth draped over its back.

Clicking the chair changes the page title from But what if it could... to ...get darker than dark? and swaps the chair with a dark, undulating version of itself, accompanied by the sound effect water.mp3.

There is also a smallish chance that clicking the chair will result in a “jumpscare” consisting of Spamton’s pixellated eyes, accompanied by the creepy laughter sound face.mp3; this jumpscare will quickly redirect to the main sweepstakes page.

9. catpetterz

Linked in the description of the “Fur-thentic Cardboard Box,” this is another blog post from Noelle in which she discusses one of her favorite games, Cat Petterz 2. The accompanying audio file is a corrupted-sounding version of the first one, midi-holiday-country.mp3, except this one is deceptively titled midi-holiday_country.mp3 – the second dash is replaced with an underscore.

I love Noelle’s discussions of weird, vaguely unsettling video game lore and mechanics. It feels very realistic to how many games, especially older ones, have aspects that aren’t inherently outright scary, but that, especially to a young mind, can come across as creepy and disturbing. I remember having plenty of irrational fears around strange video game glitches as a kid!

The link at the end here leads us to...

10. egg

Another entry from Noelle, although it seems the black and gray pages represent her personal blog or digital journal, as opposed to the pink blog where she talks about games specifically – though the page title on these entries is still “Welcome to holidaygirl1225’s game secrets, glitches, and theories blog!” so I guess it’s all supposed to be part of the same blog. The link at the end links back to /code.

In this post we learn that Noelle encountered a “special egg” in Cat Petterz that never hatched, made a weird sound when clicked, and “left home due to happiness” after being cared for as opposed to running away from neglect. She suspects the problem arose from having too many incompatible mods, but the fact that this page is linked from a second source – and that Noelle is certain the egg had a name despite being unable to remember what it was – suggests another possible source of said egg.

11. man

Sources say this page actually existed on the Deltarune website before the sweepstakes. I believe I remember seeing it as well, but I couldn’t tell you with 100% confidence. It mimics the strange hidden rooms in Chapters 1 and 2 in which Kris encounters the man who gives them eggs.

The page is titled * (Behind the tree.). – yes, with a period inside and outside the parenthesis – and clicking the space above the tree links to /egg.

12. bluecircle

Continuing Noelle’s Cat Petterz 2 saga, in this post – linked from the description of the Pipis Bath Rug – Noelle recounts the time she put some “random letters and numbers” from a mysterious spam email into the game as a mod.

When loaded, the game created a glitchy creature consisting of a single blue circle, capable of reproducing on its own until it created so many copies that the game crashed.

I wonder if Noelle’s note about how she “couldn’t explain why anyone liked it, but it was really funny to see who did XD” is meant to reflect people’s unexpected reaction to Spamton as a character 🤔

Once again, the link at the end leads back to /code.

13. kris dreemurr kriss

Let’s wrap up Noelle’s last two blog posts. They’re both marked as private, only visible to friends. This one is linked in the description for the Heart Locket. In it, Noelle recalls when she and Kris were younger and would play together at her house. Apparently Kris would sometimes play piano. The page is accompanied by an audio file called pianpian.mp3 that consists of... somewhat odd piano music.

So it seems Kris used to play piano, though we know from interacting with the hospital piano that they seem unable to do so while under the player’s control.

14. the n3w3st g1rl g1rl

Linked from the description of the Engraved Wristwatch – and no, I’m not sure what it means that the URL is spelled like that. Here Noelle describes an incident, likely shortly after Susie joined their class, in which Susie threatened Kris and said their mom would be happier without them. Yikes!

It’s interesting how Noelle seemingly recognizes how brutal this behavior is while still retaining her desire for Susie to push her around. Other people in other posts have already talked at length about Susie’s potential reasons for saying this stuff and how Kris might feel about it, so I won’t linger on it here.

15. d a m n y o u t e n n a

Now this is an interesting one! Linked in the description of the Spamton Engraved Wedding Ring – specifically, the text reading [It hurts! It Hurts!]. The page is titled DELETE THIS !. We’ve got a TV with a red X over it, and Spamton’s ramblings about how everything is someone’s fault, and that everyone will pay, except...

Mike, whose name is written in black so as to blend in with the background.

Tenna, of course, likely refers to a TV antenna. Is this another character involved in the Chapter 3 Dark World and Spamton’s backstory?

Clicking on the TV changes the page to TV static and the title to YOU’RE EARLY!, accompanied by the sound effect tv_static_bad.mp3. Scrolling down this page reveals some difficult-to-read white text that says “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU SHOULDN’T BE HERE!” At the bottom of the page are two clickable images, camouflaged with the background as they also consist of TV static. The upper one changes the page yet again to a blue screen, titled AREN’T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING? When you scroll back to the top, you will find a... door?

Which takes us to...

16. icepalace glaceir

(Yes, it’s spelled glaceir. Also for the record, the “broken image” is in fact a properly embedded image called screen.gif that intentionally mimics the old-school broken image icon.) Did I say we wrapped up Noelle’s blog posts? Sorry, I lied. It’s 2:30 in the morning where I am right now!

Ah yes, more old childhood video game weirdness. Noelle talks about a maze in Dragon Blazers where you can get stuck if you access it without the necessary character in your party. Except, in her persistent curiosity, she found a way to a door, and was able to repeat this despite feeling like the process is different every time. Unfortunately, she could never figure out how to open that door...

17. ramb

back on the static screen, we will find that the lower clickable image takes us to a... different door. The page title is Where could this be?

Clicking the door changes the title to Welcome to the Green Room! and we are greeted by a very pleasant looking room with some sofas, TVs, a bar (with a little Maus hanging up in it? Also swords?), and perhaps some sort of vending machine. A nice chill variant of the already quite chill Hip Shop, called greenroom.mp3. This seems like a shop area that will be in Chapter 3.

Each door leads to a different page. The one on the left takes us to...

18. weather

Here we seem to get a sneak peek of a couple weather-based Darkners we’ll likely encounter in Chapter 3! Exciting stuff! For some reason, the title of this page is You’re the Annoying Now Dog! (a reference to the website You’re the Man Now, Dog).

Clicking on these guys gets us a full page of them doing a little attack animation, large text that says THE WEATHER ALWAYS STICKS TOGETHER, and a variant of Rude Buster called battle_vapor.mp3.

i feel it’s worth mentioning that the 3D text effect was achieved by duplicating, resizing, repositioning, and recoloring every line multiple times (about 30-40 times each).

19. changingroom

Back in the Green Room, the door with the star on it takes us to the “changing room,” a page titled (Private...). A pink curtain awaits, just begging to be clicked.

Doing so cues up the “wing” sound effect again, and reveals a “Shadowman” putting on a sock. After a moment, he screams, using the aptly-titled scream.mp3.

There is also a chance that, instead of a Shadowman, you will find a tiny spinning Lancer!

Doing nothing will result in the curtain simply closing again, allowing you to open and close it as many times as you wish. However, you can also click on the Shadowman or Lancer before the curtain closes to go to, well, /shadowmen or /lancer! So let’s look at those.

20. shadowmen

More exciting stuff! This appears to be a preview of a Chapter 3 battle against Darkners called Shadowmen, sock-wearing cartoony gangster type characters that wield saxophones and shotguns. We get to see the Fun Gang “knock their socks off” with this cool group attack that for some reason involves wearing slick suits!

battle_vapor.mp3 also accompanies this battle. This page is also linked from the description of the Ralsei Nurse Costume For Plush.

21. lancer

Just a lil picture of a very small round Lancer, also linked in the description of the Lancer Cookie. Shares the You’re the Annoying Now Dog! title with /weather.

Clicking on Lancer does a similar thing as /weather as well, showing us a full page of repeating, spinning Lancers and large text that says HO HO HO! YOU JUST GOT LANCERED!!! with the same 3D text trick, accompanied by a fast-paced chiptune rendition of Lancer’s theme, called lancer-spin.mp3.

22. tv

Okay! Back to /ramb (the Green Room)! Finally, the door on the right leads to...

A TV, turned off. No, really, that’s all that’s on this page. I’m looking at the source code right now. It’s just this. The page title simply reads * It’s off.

23. bluebubble.rodeo

This is an odd one, as it’s not even technically hosted on deltarune.com but is its own standalone URL – which is found on the Spamton Toiler Paper. Not in the description for the toilet paper. ON the toilet paper.

Yeah, if you zoomed in to read that and decided to type in that URL, you would be greeted by a picture of Kris and Susie in cowboy attire on a page titled Get ready for 2 minutes of mildly entertaining shoot-out action! Clicking on the image plays a whip sound effect (whip.mp3).

24. blink

A page titled What? depciting Susie in her dark world outfit lying down asleep.

Clicking on her will cause her to open her eyes, appearing confused. She will proceed to blink at random intervals, with each blink accompanied by blink.mp3.

Clicking on her again will put her back to sleep.

25. sighting

A page titled SIGHTING 1997 depicting a slow zoom in on a grainy black and white photograph of a Spamton plush sitting on a toilet. Clicking anywhere on the page switches to a different photo and causes digitalroots.mp3 to start playing.

26. dog

I... don’t know why I saved this one for last. It’s not the most exciting page. I was just trying to group things together in ways that made sense, and these last few pages sort of wound up here at the end. Sorry.

This one is pretty straightforward. Titled HALL OF FAME, it’s linked from the description of the Championship Belt. Clicking on the image causes the Annoying Dog to appear in the picture frame, with the words BEST INU emblazoned across the plaque, and playing a triumphant variation of HEY EVERY ! simply called dog.mp3.

conclusion?

So, depending on how you count up all these pages – does /code count even though it introduces the idea of the secret pages? does /code/comments count as its own page? – that brings us to 26 pages, the final number mentioned in Noelle’s original blog post.

It took me a long time to write up and format this post! I think we’re approaching the 5 hour mark. So I hope the information here is cool and interesting to everyone, and if anyone has any questions, comments, addendums, or corrections, feel free to let me know.

Oh, and if you haven’t already, be sure to check out Toby’s September status update! Some neat stuff is in there.

#deltarune

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omresult · 5 months

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Sumo Citrus 2024 Legendary Taste Sweepstakes - Win Over $1000 In Prizes

Interested and eligible participants can enter to Sumo Citrus 2024 Legendary Taste Sweepstakes which provide you complete satisfaction and you will also enjoy it a lot. Sweepstakes open for all United States residents. All participants need to submit entry before January 31st, 2024 and can get a chance to Win Apple Watch, AirPods, Dyson Air Wrap, $250 Target Gift Card. (where the prize value is…

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#2024 Legendary Taste Sweepstakes #Chance To Win $250 Target Gift Card #Chance To Win Apple AirPods #Chance To Win Apple Watch #Chance To Win Dyson Air Wrap #Chance To Win Over $1000 In Prizes #Chance To Win Prize Package #Sumo Citrus Sweepstakes #sumocitrus.com

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nickgerlich · 1 year

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Jet Set

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”  

It’s an oft spoken phrase, and essentially it means that we should learn from our mistakes, hopefully never to repeat them. While we can also argue that we should learn from our successes—a topic broached by my podcast guest on 17th April—the broader point must be taken: We must always be in learning mode.

And with this the final episode of the Daily Blog for the Spring 2023 semester—can I get a hallelujah?— it is only fitting that I focus on just that. By now, you have long grown accustomed to my style. I write 700-900 words every morning, and whenever possible, try to wrap it up in a story. You know how you trick your dog to take its meds by wrapping those pills in cheese? Yeah. That’s my MO. The cheese is just the story. Inside is the stuff you need to take in.

For my parting shot, I choose to use an example that was actually suggested by one of my MBA students this term. It’s a good one, and even though it predates much of the digital era as we know it, the lessons are huge and just as applicable. It even spawned a four-part Netflix limited series late last year.

For now, put yourselves back in 1996. Coca-Cola and Pepsi have been locked in the Cola Wars for decades, a battle that intensified in the 1970s with the Pepsi Challenge and blind taste-testing taking center stage. Pepsi, long mired in second place, learned that in tests like those, consumers actually preferred the taste of that product instead of Coke. Yet those same shoppers were undeterred by reality: they kept buying Coke anyway, and the rankings never changed, even when Coca-Cola blinked in 1985 and killed “Old Coke,” replacing it with “New Coke,” and then having to backstroke by (re-)introducing Coca-Cola Classic.  

That’s another story for a different day. In 1996, though, Pepsi decided it was time for a sweepstakes that encouraged brand loyalty and frequent consumption. Collect Pepsi Points from cans and bottles, and redeem them for merch. It is a campaign that many marketers have used through the years.

But wait, there’s more. Pepsi listed one especially interesting prize: a $23 million fighter jet. Who would possibly take Pepsi seriously when they said you could redeem seven million points for the jet? Well, a 20-year-old college student named John Leonard did, and he set out to claim his jet. The problem, though, was that Pepsi had also made it possible for people to acquire needed points pretty cheap—10 cents apiece.  

Mr. Leonard thought on this. He could buy seven million points for $700,000. Being a college student, he did not have that kind of money around, but he convinced millionaire Todd Hoffman to front the money. Bingo. Todd had the points needed to get his $23 million fighter jet, a bargain considering he could do it for $700,000.

The only problem is that Pepsi wasn’t buying it. JK, they said. Surely no one would take them seriously, right?

But Mr. Leonard did, and took them to trial. He claimed it was an offer, and that he had complied. Fortunately for Pepsi, though, the court ruled that an advertising claim does not constitute a unilateral offer. “Whew,” said the folks at Pepsi HQ. That was a close one. Never mind the hoops and hurdles of—you know—actually delivering a military-grade fighter jet to a private citizen. The story is so legendary that Netflix released it as “Pepsi, Where’s My Jet?” It’s a great watch, something I did last winter shortly after it was released.

Even though Pepsi prevailed, it had massive amounts of egg on its face. How stupid could a company be to promote something it had no intention whatsoever of following through on? The message is clear for any marketer staging similar promotions: If you are kidding, then you need to make that abundantly clear. It costs money to defend yourself, even if you win. And the black eye it suffered was not worth any value it received from the rest of the folks redeeming points for far more mundane things.

Now skip forward—notice how we no longer say fast-forward like in the days of VHS—to the digital era. Imagine how this would have played out on social media. It would have been far bigger, and millions more people would have known. Class action lawsuits would have been filed. Major media coverage would have ensued. I suspect there would have been boycotts, because…why not?

This is a sad story for Pepsi, but they are lucky it happened in 1996 instead of 2023. I really didn’t even need to wrap cheese around this one, because it is tasty on its own. I mean, unless you work for Pepsi. I can only imagine folks in the C-suite at Coca-Cola giddy with laughter.

Complicating matters is that, as we have discussed just this week, sometimes companies do things for shock value because they think or know it will all work out in the end anyway. Ask the folks at AB InBev about that. Or, listen to the latest podcast episode tomorrow in which I feature the Mayor of Uranus. Yeah. Shock. Insert every double entendre you can imagine. He wins; Pepsi lost.

It has been my pleasure to serve as your guide this term. It is customary that I leave you with a benediction. It will feel strange tomorrow morning knowing that I don’t need to write a blog until the 5th of June for summer term. It will be great that I have more time to work on a couple of book projects I put on the back burner.

Now may you all go forward with the realization that you must be information sponges in order to be an informed businessperson. May you keep your eyes, ears, and—most importantly—your minds open to the changes around you. And may you act responsibly, ethically, and professionally in all that you do. Good health, and shalom, y’all.

Dr “Stay In Touch—I Mean it“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

#marketing #Pepsi #fighterjet #sweepstakes

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