#The only thing I do know is that I don't trust John The Cop

[bloodanna]

Finally caught up on The Cellar Letters again.

This show makes me feel insane.

What is a connection? What is a red herring?

Was that continuity error a mistake or on purpose?

There were seven steps to the basement and then twelve.

There have been 12 clock chimes multiple times and then one episode ended as they were sounding which cut them off at 7 chimes. Did you mean to do that?

ARE 12 AND 7 IMPORTANT?

I FEEL INSANE!

I just want answers!

Please!

#this is partly a joke #But also... #The Cellar Letters #Spoilers #I guess? #Podcasts #You say your dad told you his parents died in a fire #Then you say he never talked about them #Did you forget? #Did the writer fuck up? #Who knows?! #The only thing I do know is that I don't trust John The Cop

[unlikelyjapan]

s2e8 rewatch notes

I've been living under a rock this week, but I did do a dive into Bolognese.

I've noticed there's only sunlight in the dining room when Syd and Carmy are together - otherwise it's always cast in a pale blue or artificial hue during the daytime. There's so much uncertainty in the opening scene, with Syd surveying the in-progress landscape by herself, like she knows it might be all for not.

Cut to Carmy stimmying alone in the kitchen. Claire's "you alright?" and Carmy's blank expression "Yeah, I'm alright" followed by Claire whispering "everything's fine" - others have touched eloquently on the infantalization, but so much of their relationship is dependent on her telling him how to feel. She asks him about the NICET level-2 exam, and he trails off mid-way because he really doesn't want to be discussing this with her - it punctures the love bubble.

Claire can feel the hesitation marks - re: with him sharing about his work, about his relationship/situationship with her, and that's what spawns the abrupt "never, ever apologize" - she's effectively telling him "you don't need to say anything" so she can continue being in control of their narrative. She's emotionally intuitive enough to see he's mentally in anguish,  and she's trying to protect the connection at all costs by denying him any opportunity to experience/feel that anguish.

I don't think her actions are nefarious, it's just that when someone really REALLY wants someone else, they're bound to manipulate their emotions. We see it in her helping flip the narratives about the cannoli too - it's very much a "change the angles/change the lighting" move on something that is actually big . fucking. deal - it's projected like she's simply invested in Carmy's improvement, but it's also incredibly self-serving.

UGH the whispering. On second viewing, I can view it more as intentional discomfort, but it's still like being spit-roasted in CW Network hell.

"Lay my Love" John Cale and Brian Eno playing - "I am the crow of desperation, I need no fact or validation" - the whole song is about the relentlessness (and shadiness) of getting someone to love you back. Carmy suppresses who he is (and what he's feeling) to be with Claire, Claire aids in suppressing Carmy's feelings and completely sublimates her own need for everything (other than Carmy) to get him to want to be with her.

Tina & Ebra - yay, I love witnessing platonic friendships/working partnerships! /s

Someone please cross-stitch me an "Old bitches like their bitch ways" pendant to hang in my kitchen. Beyond that, there's not much to analyze in this scene - Ebra seems to feel more shame than resentment in his need to stay fixed. This is such a great interlude for the episode - showing that failure is tolerated within the found family, there's a place for everyone etc.

The fire suppression test is the shoe that doesn't drop for Carmy (so it emboldens him - the world didn't end, he's safe, so he immediately jumps into a defined relationship 2 weeks from open at the end of the episode) while Syd understands that the test just means they have permission to begin the first leg of their journey.

Hence, her response to "Just thinking about the fire suppression test" is a broader "Controlling the zone, staying calm, creating space, trust" - "How do we do this?" Carmy defers to her for the emotional labor of running The Bear - again. He figures he's there to deliver her things that impress her and elevate her (his talented palate, the chaos menu, a chef's coat, her star via his cache) - so naturally he thinks it's mission accomplished as soon as they have clearance to open.

Talking about the potential of failing the suppression test, they say "We are fucked" - in unison. When Sydney echos Carmy, he cops another sneaky glance at her face (sorry, I'm graphically feeble so I didn't grab a shot) not unlike the scene where they're talking in the kitchen. Contrasting this with the mumbled anxiety conversation with Claire, this conversation gives him strength - when they have these synchronistic moments, Carmen feels incredibly seen and heard.

"The best offenses have the ability to reset and adapt on a dime."

"We can do that though."

"We have to."

Well, one of them achieved this. Sydney is the offense. Carmy is the defense. Sydney is adapting to all the travails set up in the process of opening the restaurant - including Carmy - attempting to score a win. Carmy is blocking her from that win, but he's a shitty defense because his whole schtick is impressing Syd ironically taking Coach K to heart in his personal life. I think back to the intro-interview I transcribed at the beginning of Forks (from Coach's interview):

The very first thing is that in order to get better you change limits. And when you change limits, you're going to look bad and you're going to fail. And at West Point I learned that failure was never a destination. In other words, when you are knocked back, you know, figure out why, then change.

Carmy changed the limits in so many things - in his boundaries in relationships (with both Syd and Claire), opening his own restaurant, and reaching for more of life in general. He's failing, as expected - but he's also failing to play defensively, to figure out the why- the wind is just sort of carrying him along.

They also reinforce in the same talk that "you're not going to get there alone" -  he's simultaneously trying to do this with Syd (as a "team" as it exists in his mind) and FOR Syd (laying what she's asked for at her feet like a sad cat seeking praise when she really just wanted him to listen).

"Carmy said he was going to handle it" - ahaha, I get it. The fridge handle comes off - Carmy constantly says "I'll handle it." Someone in the writer's room earned a cracker.

By this point, you can tell everyone on the team is exasperated by his absentee B.S, even if half of them are enablers.

"I was going to surprise you" - oooh Marcus.

"I see you with the olive oil" - Syd calling back to the apartment kitchen scene in s1e8.

The smile dissipates from Marcus' face instantly after Syd tries the dessert and Carmen interjects with the dextrose. These man hoes are so messy - I don't care what the Hollywood Reporter cranks out, I write it as I see it.

Marcus resets and the smile comes back when Carmen looks at his dessert and says "very yes", but not with the same intensity.

Also, so much for the Coach K "don't make excuses" - when Syd accosts Carmy about the fridge door, he immediately discusses his 'gnarly panic attack' - from one angle, he's learning to open up on his trauma via his relationship with Claire, but he's also using subtle manipulation to evade responsibility for things.

"She's a girl who's a FRIEND??" - Syd

"She's a girlfriend? You think?" - Carmy

"Oooh." - Syd

"Ooooh. Okay. Uh. Next" - Marcus

If you follow this up later with Marcus saying "That's healthy" re: the cannoli with solemn eyes, one begins to intuit that he doesn't think much of Carmy beyond boss-guy by this point (I mean, neither do others right now, but he's been in Europe).

He attributes Copenhagen to Syd (which, fair enough, it was her idea, but it was a window into Carmy's life orchestrated by Carmy) and you can tell the writers are playing with the tension by this point. Carmy as buffer/barrier. He only breaks the tension when Carmen says "for real" after trying the Copenhagen sundae - Carmy's expertise still means something to Marcus.

Richie's apology to Natalie - for Everything. "For a long time I didn't know where I fit, and I would shove myself into, like, places and things where I definitely did not fit. And I think that that probably....definitely....made things worse. And I'm sorry if I took anything out on you and if I treated you like shit."

In summary - sorry for injecting myself into your family for years and riling everyone up and manipulating the whole family dynamic. Sorry for aiding in Mikey's downfall. Sorry for aiding in Carmy's downfall.  Sorry for not protecting you amidst all that. Sorry for all my "Van Halen" shit at work trying to compensate for what I lost with your family, with my own family I tried to build.

"That's why you're wearing the suit?"

"Um....I'm wearing the suit because it makes me feel better about myself."

I like that Natalie appreciates the visual confirmation that Richie is trying to be better, to practice self-love - she knows that's the inverse of The Beef and the Berzattos. And hearing Richie say "I need this place to work" and Gary echoing "WE need this place to work" is Natalie's first confirmation she's probably heard that the team isn't just her and Syd. She becomes so much lighter after this scene.

Syd rolling her eyes after hearing Carmy say he "had to draw them because the heat was off" - she's a technical and practical person, and you can tell that it's mildly aggravating (in that lovingly jealous way) that creative pursuits come to Carmy so easily. She has to absorb inspiration and creativity through observation and study, whereas with him it's self-contained.

Carmy cuts the tape as he's getting fired up/enthusiastic with Syd - noticing the details again, getting into the zone, and smiling.

Originally, the golem in me was like "haha, he ignored the lame "level 2 baby!" text from Claire, but I now realize that he reads it and then immediately leaves that "zone" - he again pushes labor onto Sydney regarding his Iberico hook-up  "uh yeah - I'll give you his number, and uh, you can go ahead and you can call him." He was stoked seconds ago, he finally seemed absorbed in his space and his work - this man is so conflicted.

"This looks kinda like a chaos menu"

"Well no, it's like, it's a thoughtful chaos menu."

"Oh."

"Look, Claire and I, we were talking about it last night, and she-she made me realize that maybe I'm clinging onto some things that....I don't know, maybe, I just, I don't care that much about anymore"

I just noticed that he looks directly into Syd's eyes as he says the last sentence - dagger to the heart of their partnership from her POV.

"And this is good, right? Because this is what you wanted."

*this is a 'your cat dropping a dead bird on your carpet' moment*

"Yo why are you being like that?

I feel like Syd's perspective on the fight has been amply analyzed on here, I have no notes.

I found it more interesting that Carmy starts ranting more hurt and emotional than he's ever sounded talking to her before. "I'm sorry, I like, fucking hated Cannoli's my whole life and now..."

*Cue ASL* "STOP. Stop."

He was about to spill his guts for her here. He can't understand why she's upset (I did this for you), he doesn't understand why she's mad about Claire (she was my sounding board for your ideas, she's not my girlfriend!), and he wants to share with her how he got here (Syd's menu, built for Syd - his pain converted into something healing).

Ugh - Syd's "you need to decide if this person is a girlfriend or girl that's a friend" demand for an answer being interpreted as an instruction. Again, it's been discussed to death, but now there are so many dead birds on the carpet to clean up.

The Crane Wife by The Decemberists plays as Carmen enters the fridge and asks Fak if Claire is his girlfriend. I feel like "I hate Fak's meddling ass"  is going to be inscribed on my tombstone by loved ones at this point, but it doesn't need to be discussed - the whole thing is beautifully broken down with the meaning behind the song here. (Ugh, I've lost the link! Whoever has this post flagged come forward so I can link it/give credit? It was perfect.)

The interjection with Richie (doing Carmy's bidding) in having Sydney approve putting Mikey's dying note to Carmen on the line though? Jesus H. Christ - it's not even that they pan to a scene with Sydney after Carmen says "I love her a lot?" re: Claire, it's literally about Syd having the final say as to WHETHER HIS DEAD BROTHERS LOVE LETTER TO HIM IS OKAY TO BE ON THE LINE.

I feel like this scene was a win for the sydrichies too, and I earnestly I don't know what they were doing there - the compliments, the only-child dialogue. "It's nice that you have Syd and Nat" "Yeah, now you do too"

But she says "thanks for asking" to Richie - even though it was Carmy asking her if this massive thing was okay. There's a wall (the one just rebuilt) between Syd and Carmy after the kitchen conversation, things are moving through Richie as the conduit now. Richie is her partner while Carmy is MIA.

Cicero and Natalie in the car:

"Appraisal on the lot came back".....

"But here's where things, uh, get funky, right? .... skyrocketing interest rates"

Remember the Olivia Coleman scene where she was talking about the market crashing and her initial dream restaurant getting killed? More foreshadowing for S3 I guess.

"Hey, if you were to have kids all over again, what would you do?"

"Oh, honey, I wouldn't have them......"  "You know, Nat, I'd um...what would I do? I would want them to be....not so fucking afraid of things, you know? I'd protect them less. Yeah. I'd want em to have more fun, make more mistakes. Get into more fuckin' trouble, you know? I don't know how to do it...but that, that's what I'd do."

Although Cicero smells blood in the water, he's The Bears daddy (and probably the closest thing to a father that Richie, Carmy and Natalie have now) - I think he wants to push them, he'll let them make mistakes, but he won't let them become "a story of complete and utter failure" I believe. And so does Natalie.

As the sign changes to "10 days to open"

Carmy "What are you guys doing?"

Natalie "Just staring at some stuff" as her and Syd go over the calendar. They're alone together in work again.

The inner narratives of each character during the fire suppression countdown are so revealing:

Syd - Restaurant closure signs, old boxes of Sheridan Road paperwork, her father grasping her shoulders in comfort as she looks away from him, seemingly insecure/dejected. (Fear of failure dominates)

Natalie - Bills and IRS statements piling up, her mother torturing her 5 years earlier, cuddling with Pete on the couch and looking peaceful. (Fear of moving backwards dominates)

Ebra - Being praised with "He's learning!" and putting on his Original Beef shirt with a smile. (Nostalgia dominates- fear of change)

Marcus - Smiling at the beef, tasting his own dessert, taking care of his mother in the hospital. (Comfort dominates - fear of loss)

Tina - "I'm grateful for all y'all motherfuckers" hugging Richie, laughing at family meal. (Love dominates)

Richie - Tiff saying "You're going to be such a cute dad", family snaps with a picture of Claire holding and smiling at Eva front-and-center (!!!), laughing at family meal. (Loss dominates - also living vicariously through Carmy with Claire or!? What a weird fucking montage, someone please explain)

Fak - The balloon popping repeatedly (Fear of immediate failure...)

Carmy - The stove burners, the burning frozen food at his apartment, the portrait of the bear he drew, Mikey's face when he received it, the flames licking the wall at the beef, the clock at 11:51, his eyes vacantly reflecting the flames, pictures of Natalie/Donna/Cicero/himself as a kid, Mikey smiling deranged, Michelle telling him "keep going", the flash of the red kitchen clock as the examiner says "3" (wow....this gets its own post in a bit, it's late)

Then it's just interspersed shots of Carmy nodding and Sydney's nostrils flaring as they count down the remaining numbers.

The aftermath/the hugs have been well-dissected, I'll leave it to others.

Song lyrics during restaurant cooking montage

I will come to you in the daytime

I will raise you from your sleep

I will kiss you in four places

As I go runnin' down your street

I will squeeze the life right out of you

You will make me laugh and make me cry

And though we try to forget it

You will make me call your name

As I shout it into the blue summer sky

And we may never meet again

So shed your skin and lets get started

And you will throw your arms around me

Song lyrics from "I gotta go call my girlfriend"

I have dreamed of you in the daytime (Claire working the ER)

And I have watched you in your sleep (Carmy grocery shopping)

I met you in high places (Carmy cooking while wearing his The Beef shirt - regression much?)

Touched your head and touched your feet (Syd scrubbing the floor)

And though I disappear from out of you (Claire leaving the ER)

And though I disappear from out of you (Sydney on transit watching the game - announcer says "they need a miracle")

And though I try to forget it (Carmy cooking/shredding cheese)

You will make me call your name (Sydney getting home)

As I shout it into the blue summer sky (Sydney getting undressed, revealing the 3 of Swords tattoo - Claire walking in and kissing Carmy)

"We may never meet again" (goes to black)

Apologies if someone already broke all of this down, but what in the heavy-handed fuck is this?

#the bear fx #the bear season 2 #the bear spoilers #the bear #carmen berzatto #carmy x sydney #syd x carmy

[lydiaas]

You know what's something really subtle I really really REALLY hated Mike for? When he said "but then I learned about hard work" TO JJ!!!!

This kid is 16 and has been working for God knows how long ‘cause he doesn't have a single adult figure who provides for him, he worked with boats, he worked at the bar, he did small things for the Heywards 'cause yeah, Pope's dad is actually a decent man who recognizes JJ doesn't have much and offered him to help out with their family business from time to time for some extra money and the Carreras who also own an activity?What have they done to give this kid a chance?The guts Mike Carrera has to know damn well this 16 years old kid comes from an abusive household and had to provide from himself since forever and to say he doesn't know about hard work and what have you (an adult aware of the situation) done to help? He could have easily thought "ok my daughter's friend is in serious need of help and we could offer him a job" but he didn't. You have a job to offer, give it to him a sixteen years old homeless kid who also happens to be a really important person for your daughter.

I hate JJ's situation so much 'cause not only it's incredibly hard as it is but you also add the fact there isn't a single adult who cares enough to help him out of it, starting from the cops who should have reported him to social services like they did with John B but instead constantly mocked him, the school, the parents of his friends who could have easily stepped in but didn't (except for Heyward, the only adult with rights in this show)... and as if it isn't enough those same adults are also surprised and blame him for not trusting the system, adult figures and authorities, well how could he? Every single one of them let him down.

JJ DESERVES NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS AND I HOPE HE BUILT HIMSELF THE LIFE HE DESERVES IN THOSE 18 MONTHS!!

I'm gonna put you in jail for these takes in a second!

You're so right. I'm now thinking about the way that half of JJ's wardrobe are clearly things he got from places he's worked. He's been providing for himself for so long.

A lot of the way JJ is treated comes down to who his father is and it's sadly realistic. Luke is a piece of shit who has probably burned a lot of bridges and people can't look past that and recognise JJ is still just a kid who is doing whatever he can to survive.

Every negative thing JJ thinks about himself comes from other people or his father telling him so. He had no hope at being a well adjusted teen. It's really damning that Mike, someone who admits to recognising parts of himself in JJ, can't realise he could be the one to make a positive difference. This choice of characterisation for Mike is really interesting to me because it is in line with the way the writers explore flawed father figures (Heyward really stands alone).

At the anniversary party JJ says "When you see Mike, could you just let him know that I don't feel bad about the money clip? Okay? Just let him know I actually needed it". And yeah he's lobbing a grenade into his relationship with Kie because he's in self sabotage mode but there is also nothing but truth in that statement. You can feel the resentment in "Just let him know I actually needed it". Resentment that no one recognises how much he is struggling and resentment that every terrible thing he thinks about himself keeps being validated by the adults around him. JJ is drowning and Mike can't even throw him a lifeline.

#jj maybank #obx #jiara #jj x kie #again FUCK mike carrera #asks

[itspdameronthings]

Benny the Rookie Cop Pt2

Summary:I know this part is intense. First part is anyway. It deals with Santi going off the deep end. Sorry about that. Fear not! there is a sweet Benny and Grace moment at the end which im gonna write another fic . More like an extended scene.

Meanwhile a few blocks away sounds of restlessness fills Santi’s home. He is on the floor with a bottle of his favorite whiskey. Drinking the numbness he feels. Life hasn't been good for him. Latest relationship has ended. That really hurt him to no end. Thought she was the one. After two years together things were on the up and up till something happened. Coming home to see her stuff was missing. All that remained was a dear John letter. No explanation,but she can't deal with his manic episodes. Then… his baby sister getting married to his best friend. He should be happy for them. Welcome Benny into the family. Resentment fueled his mind. Goal is for others to be shitty. 

He hasn't been to work for days. Will was beyond worried. Calls and texts were unanswered. On this night he goes over to see if Santi was okay. Letting himself in with a spare key looking around how messy the place was. Dishes in the sink smells of booze fills the air. Clothes on the floor. Caused Will to go upstairs to see his friend on the floor only wearing a pair of ratted green sweats. No shirt. Unkempt hair ,and matted beard. Kneels down,” Care to explain why you haven't called me?! Was worried that something happened! Had to postpone our presentation to next month! Our ass is on the line?! Gonna lose our important client ?! Are you gonna say anything?!” Santi looks at him whipping his mouth,"Of course I care,but not right now. Leave me to wallow in my misery. Too sick to care about shit. Now leave me alone! Go back to your happy home!” Looks like Will isn't getting through him. Think he needs some help. Thought about calling Frankie,but he is on vacation with his daughter. Benny hates to call him knowing he just got off from work. Taking a breath got out his phone: 

Older brother: look bro, hate to do this,but I need your help. At Pope’s he is in a drunken mess. 

Sound of a phone going off caused Benny to slowly wake up from sleeping with his beautiful wife. Can't stop holding onto her. Rubbing his eyes. Looking at the message,” Shit! Not again!” Tried not to wake Gracie slowly got up to get dressed, sudden movement stopped him. Small hands on his shoulders stopped him . Soft voice fills the room,” What's wrong baby? Another bad dream? If it is? Let me help.” Taking a breath,” Your brother is drunk yet again. Gonna go to help Will. Wantcha to stay home okay? Can't have my rose hurt. Need ya to keep my side of the bed warm and toasty. “ Gracie not listening. Still wrapped in the bedsheet. Goes to get dressed,” Think I can help too. We are family, remember? “ Benny goes over to her now naked form. Hugs her from behind,” I know darlin. Just trust me okay? Let me and Will handle it. If we need help? I'll call. “ Gracie closed her eyes. Knowing he might be right. Sure both of them had training in dealing with this kind of behavior. This is her brother. Might not have seen Santi like that. Oh the boys have. Soon as her husband leaves. She goes to her nightstand to fetch her phone. Calls someone who delt with this before. Her mother. 

Benny arrives at Santi’s . Noise of shouting caught his attention. Sounds of things hitting a wall. Rushed upstairs to see both Santi and Will yelling. Sees a broken bottle on the floor. Goes over to break up the fight. Goes between them,” Enough! Stand fucking down!” Santi not hearing this. Goes to push Benny away from him,” oh look is here! Person who stole my sister away from me! Ordering me around my own place! Why don't you both go home !”Looking into his brother in law in the eye. Not moving,” Not a chance man. You're endangering yourself ya know that?! Need help! Not leaving so tell us what's wrong.” Santi grunts,” Nothing ,and I mean nothing is wrong! Can a person be alone for a while?! That's all I fucking want!! Want to wallow okay?!” Now the plot thickens. Wallow. It's Will who figured it out. Leans against the wall in his signature pose. Arms crossed,” I know why. Chelsea. Left you in this state of misery. Furthermore? Resenting the fact Benny stole Gracie from you! Preposterous! Can't face that she is an adult. She loves you man. Problem is that can't someone else take over. “ Those words cut through Santi’s soul like a knife. Yes he is going through a lot. Feeling like the others never endure that kind of pain. Until he remembers Will went through the same thing. Now he feels like shit. Brothers sat next to him while he cried. 

Rosa Garcia rushed inside her son's home. With Gracie in tow. Looking at the state the home is in. Brought back memories of her late husband. Brought tears to her eyes. Her son is going down the same path . She knew he was going through stuff,but never thought he would destroy himself in this kind of matter. Gracie stays downstairs to clean up. Rosa slowly approaches a bedroom to see her son,and her sons in law . Benny, first to see her, goes to hug her,” Mama, Glad you are here. Got him calm ,but.. with all of my trainin in this? Thought could get through him. “ Hugs him tightly,” It would be fine my baby boy. Go downstairs okay? Your rose is there cleaning up. Means you too William shoo!” Will kisses her forehead as he leaves. Santi whimpers,” I'm a bad son Mama! Don't know how I can overcome it…” Rubs her son’s back as he lays his head on her lap. Needs to feel safe right now. Rosie knows that as well. He needs help to cope. Whispers to her son,” I'm here baby boy. You know drinking your troubles away isn't gonna help. Either is being a complete boota to your sister,and husband. Can't you see it's hurting them? Getting dumped hurts I know. Been there honey. Tell you what. I'm gonna move in for a while.help you get through this. First thing first. Go downstairs to apologize to the young couple. Tomorrow? Taking you to counseling.” 

Mother and son come downstairs to see his family cleaning up the living room. Gracie is first to see her mom and brother. Not looking at him she walks away. Not before Santi blocks her,” Look here G. I'm sorry. Okay? Never thought my anger hurt you the way it did. Was in a bad place. I'm glad you have Benny. I mean it. I'm afraid that I'm..” Reaching out to hug her brother. So does Benny. Hug him close. Rosa whispers to the young couple,” Go home. We got this. Family dinner is gonna be pushed back for a few days. You two have fun on your days off. Mama’s orders.” Santi watches from afar as his sister and brother in law hold each other close. Try not to fall apart. Will comes up to him placed his hand on his shoulder,” you will find one special man. First thing is to get ya well again. “ Santi takes a deep breath,” Thanks for coming by man.” Will chuckles again,” That's what family does man . We help.”

Young couple arrived home. Exhausted mentally and physically. Benny reached out to hold Gracie who practically held on to him. Breathed in his special scent,” Had to call mama. Had too. Hope you aren't mad.” Kissing her forehead ever so gently, he whispers,” I'm not. Glad ya did. Wasn't getting much lead way until Will figured it out. Now.. how about we go to bed. Hmm? Can cuddle, or watch some trashy show ya like.” Tracing patterns along his neck as he picks her in a bridal position,” I much rather have my rookie make love to me. Followed by some cuddling. Then.. we can stay in bed tomorrow since it's gonna rain.” 

Once they get into bed. Benny holds her close to his warm body. Trace loving patterns along her arm. How he wanted to fully fill her first request. Sees her fast asleep in his arms. Making love is the first thing to do in the morning. Holds her close to him. Thinking about how he really needs to protect her even more. Yes, Santi has a long journey ahead. Feared he might have a relapse. Whispers into her ear,” Love you my Rose bud. With all of my heart. Make sure you are safe for what's to come. Pray for Pope’s recovery is a success.” 

#triple frontier #benny miller x reader #santiago garcia x reader #garett hedlund #charlie hunnam #oscar isaac

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

OFMD EP1 REACTION

i already know this is a dream sequence but opening on stede and izzy having a badass swordfight is dope

stede's fantasy is all about him looking and sounding super masc... babyboy that's not you...

HE FUCKING STABBED IZZY. HE KILLED HIM

and of course izzy's last words are "you absolute twaaaaaaaaaat" i'm fucking dying

AND THERE'S THE SLOMO BAYWATCH RUN GOD I LOVE IT

"knew you'd find me babe" and of course ed's got his beautiful beard back and he looks perfect and he loves stede's beard sfjgdskjgdshj stede

aaaaaaand f in the chat for stede's dream sequence, wee john is doing chemical warfare

"can't be worse than you moaning 'ed, oh, ed' all night long" f in the chat for black pete and the rest of the crew

AHAHAHA roach going "he's single" and shoving the swede at jackie. c'mon swede be a hobosexual for us we gotta sleep somewhere

"come closer. spanish jackie don't bite. i lied, i bite" and he giggles i am immediately on board congrats jackie on your 21st husband

love olu's fancy bartender waistcoat!

"i'll buy you a drink" this guy! the guy who's practically stede's twin! in the disco outfit that stede steals! is he the guy stede does a punch on? is he hitting on stede? oh my GOD where is this going

"richard banes. are you stede bonnet?" dear lord this guy could not have a posher accent. is he the guy who ends up with a fake nose. he's an undercover cop isn't he. how else does he know who stede is

awww fuck we're cutting to ed. shit's about to go down

(stede) "hope you're thinking of me as well" close-up on ed's TRUST NO-ONE tattoo. fuuuuuuuuck

and immediately the wedding ed's gonna crash is like some extremely classist/"we must breed more upper class, worthy humans" shit, so ed can do a little murder actually i immediately don't feel bad for them

"objection" ed can board a ship without anyone fucking noticing if it looks cool actually

THERE HE IS he's made everyone put on the emo paint. i keep pausing and rewatching this part. love izzy's sarcastic little smile

jim looks so fucking sexy

so does frenchie tbh

ed's just eating the cake. cake topper my beloved...

OH NO IVAN DIED. OFF-SCREEN. F IN THE CHAT. and frenchie only cares about the cake JUST KIDDING HE IS HARDCORE DISSOCIATING. poor fang tho...

stede taking down blackbeard's wanted poster... does he have a little shrine in the pig sty he's sleeping in. does he draw hearts on the posters

"he's just blowing off some steam" stede has decided the atrocities are cool and fun actually. atrocities are okay if the man doing them has big beautiful brown eyes too. what about it

"i also killed someone and stole their kiosk. sometimes action is better than vision" can we get sue on the crew? "that's what i've been telling him" "that's 'cause you're the smart one" sue confirms that olu is the only crewmember with a brain cell

'we can't turn up with any old ship, we need to look good" STEDE. FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD.

ed putting the little cake topper in his breast pocket next to his heart i'm going feral

"did everyone get cake?" "yeah they got cake"

ed is doing drugs and izzy has never looked more miserable and soggy. he looks like someone dunked him in an inkwell

OH HERE'S THE SCENE. THE SAD WET MEOW MEOW SCENE

shit's gotta be really bad if izzy needs to be rocked and cuddled while he cries... babyboy you should have just let ed hold the talent show...

i am not at all surprised that jackie's taking all of stede and co.'s savings. this is jackie's house. jackie does not have a tip jar. you're in the republic of pirates hide it better next time

BOO CAKES!

well you didn't even get jackie and the swede a wedding present. this is her wedding present. HIDE THE JAR BETTER-

"what if we took that back?" "i think my husbands would have a problem with that. have you met all twenty of 'em?" PAUSING TO LOOK AT THE HUSBANDS.

"that's a lot of husbands" black pete misses his husband, tails. he misses him a lot

love the one wearing no shirt and a tight waistcoat/corset thing with the axe. one's got cool glasses. two of them are either super twinky or lady-husbands, excellent either way (jackie and her lady-husbands, nandor and his guy-wives... beautiful...)

EDIT: THE TWO HUSBANDS ARE TRANS GUYS HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

"i know that guy we had breakfast together" "you will be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh ok" sometimes a family is a pirate businesswoman and her 20 19 18 20 husbands and we stan

maybe the sexy axe husband cooked the breakfast. i am delighting in imagining them being all cute and domestic until jackie needs them to stand around and look intimidating and then they all scramble into position. their job is to cook breakfast and look sexy and scare the shit out of anyone jackie points them at

i like to imagine that as soon as one of jackie's husbands died she's like fuck i gotta get a new one to make up the numbers. my brand is 20 husbands i can't be seen with only 19. who's new in town that is remotely attractive. ooh, swedish blondie with a metal tooth, he'll look nice next to the one in glasses

anyway stede and co. are now homeless rip

why does roach have buttons on a rope leash sfhdskjghsgk is buttons so desperate to return to his true love (the sea) that they have to treat him like a toddler trying to run into traffic

"dear ed, i think i'm afraid to see you. i'm not afraid you're gonna kill me, i'm afraid your life is better without me!" I AM GOING TO LOSE IT. SOMEONE GET THIS POOR BOY SOME SELF-ESTEEM

i paused on the wanted poster and it said "wanted for theft brigandry larceny arson tax evasion" sgkjhsfgkjsfhgk the fucking IRS is going to find ed before stede does

"could be. could be, mate" stede your ed impression sucks shit

oh god richard's there. are you a cop or just a fan.

"the gentleman pirate saved my life! quite frankly, you're my hero!" with his fancy fucking coat oh god stede has a fan. stede has a copycat fan. AND STEDE'S NOW HAPPY OH MY GOD I AM HITTING HIM WITH A HAMMER (affectionate)

he fed stede a line about jackie's roman puzzle chest... i don't fucking trust this guy i'm convinced he's either a navy plant or a husband plant...

(if he is truly just a baby stede i'm putting him in a jar and shaking him (affectionate))

I FUCKING LOVE THE SWEDE

oh god back to ed's depression den

"not good enough. and that's another toe. take your boot off." okay ed, i know you're trying to get izzy or anybody to kill you in your sleep or something but i'm still. noooo don't commit atrocities you're soo sexy aha

"who am i to you" oh god. shit's gotta be really really fucking bad if izzy's doing emotional intimacy

"i have... love for you, edward" i'm going to explode

first of all izzy is delusional if he thinks he knows ed better than anyone else - we know and love this about him

second, con's fucking acting is going to kill me. he's looking at the floor, there are tears in his eyes, he's whispering and pauses as if saying the word love is going to kill him (and it's not just the emotional repression considering how volatile ed is)

and the way the line is written - it's not "i love you" or "i'm in love with you", it's not a thing izzy does or is, it's a thing he has. an object he's carrying around, separate to him, he's trying to distance himself from it.

and of course ed interrupts him with "oh come on" because he does not trust that anyone actually loves him and he doesn't want anyone to any more, he wants izzy to hate him and kill him!

"i'm worried about you, we all are. the atmosphere on this ship is completely poisoned. but if we could all just maybe... talk it through" SHIT'S GOT TO BE REALLY REALLY UNQUESTIONABLY HORRIFICALLY FUCKING BAD IF IZZY IS ADOPTING STEDE'S CATCHPHRASE

ed, ominously "as a crew" as blackbeard's leitmotif starts up... WORST CHOICE OF WORDS EVER IZZY I'M TERRIFIED

izzy: i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up

POOR FANG IS WHIMPERING ED DON'T SCARE HIM!!!!!

"i know who we should ask, ol' blackbeard!" (shoves gun under his own chin) jesus christ ed

"FUCKING END!" izzy has had ENOUGH

AND AS SOON AS HE SAYS STEDE'S NAME ED SHOOTS HIM

"frenchie, you are now first mate" STEPS OVER IZZY GROANING IN PAIN

i am very worried

HARD CUT TO THE SWEDE AND JACKIE LMAO

oh god stede's adopted ricky. this can only end terribly

aaaaaand f in the chat for ricky's nose

"i can't believe you guys robbed jackie! so bad!" swede.

jackie looks gorgeous though

SUE IS OF COURSE THE BADASS PIRATE QUEEN

and jackie loves her a sexy swedish double-crosser

thank you sue for adopting the gang of idiots

OH GOD JIM AND ARCHIE MOPPING UP IZZY'S BLOOD. THAT'S A LOT OF BLOOD

poor fang is still crying

awwww and jim's telling him pinocchio to calm him down! (but they suck at telling stories)

"do the voice"

and jim does the fucking voice

ed sounds like he's holding back tears as he describes sailing and robbing and never landing

"fuck you, stede bonnet" "good night, ed teach" HHHHHHH

stede come on man pick up a fucking oar you're not the captain any more

at least we got one romantic reunion! and it was buttons and the ocean <3

sdkfjhsdkjgsdk everyone being like "are we soup merchants now? sweet" and olu with his poor overworked brain cell like "hang on... there's no soup here"

ZHENG YI SAO FUCK YEAH BAY BEE

AFTER CREDITS SEQUENCE!!! storytime with jim extended edition!!!!!

#our flag means death #ofmd

[whatgaviiformes]

Thunderpride headcanons

I've been in and out of work and life things, so I've not been able to stay as tuned in to thunderpride as I would've liked. I am loving what you all have been creating and celebrating for what I've seen so far, though!

For myself, this may be a cop out answer, but I am not tied into any one headcanon for the bros, which means I tend to feel very open to different perspectives about their sexualities, partners, and identities. If it's a good story or exploration I am all in.

Virgil

Is the only one I've written with a queer headcanon, and it was unexpected and unplanned. He just started flirting with one of the staff in TSOF and I just listened to what he clearly wanted. In this moment, my headcanon is that he feels constantly surrounded by beauty of all forms, and so his attraction to people is based on their energy. He's pan in this AU and I do kind of love that for him. Just open with no reservations to gender. (Ev identifies as gay btw I case you are curious)

But I do also love the idea of a demi or grey Virgil, where it's not really in the cards for him until bonds of trust and love are formed and it's just ... oh! This is what I want.

For him and the rest of the boys, I really will read it all. Bi Gordon has resonated with me in my reading journey before, as has ace John and gay John.

I've had a few ideas as background in Thunderteers, but they've definitely not been fully designed yet - and again, romance is really not my wheelhouse so I don't know if it will come up.

But yeah. Not the most elaborate of pride posts at the moment, but I wanted to share and celebrate in the moments life let's me.

(And I wanna write.... WORK brain, come on)

#thunderpride

[dentedsky]

Review of The Untamed

This is one of the only tv shows i have ever marathoned and then immediately watched all over again. I started watching this show on Netflix knowing absolutely nothing about it; i didn't even know it was a gay love story... likewut. I had previously over saturated myself with American sitcoms and so looked for something completely different. Little did I realise I would smack myself in the face with my own love for the characters, themes, costumes, and downright beauty of the thing. I was immediately hooked in when in the first scene the lead character is murdered by his brother, cos I am a real sucker for stories that start out with, "Once upon a time, I DIED!!!" That to me is pure chef's kiss.

If you haven't watched it yet, let me forewarn you: the first two episodes are a clusterfuck of situations and lines and characters you don't give a shit about and have no context for. But push past these into episode 3 and beyond, and trust me, you will.

So here is my review of The Untamed. I'll try to be as spoiler-less as possible.

General premise

Five major clans control majority wealth, power and magic. Teenager Wei Wuxian is from one of these clans, and attends Ancient Chinese Hogwarts with BFFs/siblings Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng. But it's not all fun and hormones; soon after the semester ends they are thrown into war. Despite knowing magic and sword art, they are woefully under-prepared for the carnage and political shitshow that follows. Alliances fray, hearts are broken... and Wei Wuxian dies.

Sixteen years later he is resurrected by a necromancer who wants revenge on his shitty family. Wuxian's crush from magical high school, Lan Wangji, is now a 30-something hottie and a top-tier wizard, and is investigating a sword spirit that's gone apeshit. Since the revenge plot and the sword spirit issue are related, they team up buddy-cop style to solve the mystery.

The Pros

Costume and set design

It's beautiful. Someone in the costume department was having a ball with this one bc every outfit is gorgeous and unique. The long shots of the ancient Chinese sets are eye candy too. I found myself drinking in every little detail of their clothes and swords.

Themes and metaphors

I've seen a couple of Australian movies that talk about asylum-seekers, but I've never watched a show that has brought in the subject quite like this one. No doubt the episodes dedicated to our untamed hero Wei Wuxian saving war prisoners are a metaphor for China's incarceration of its minorities, but for me I was seething, constantly remembering that cunts like John Howard chose to use their power to treat people fleeing oppression like they were nothing but inconvenient garbage. Why governments choose to infeasibly sweep refugees under the rug rather than help them I still don't understand. In The Untamed, it's highlighted that the reasons are all about power - who has power must do all they can to keep it, even if it means torturing people they have never met, and slandering those who don't fall in line.

Cancel culture and mob mentality is a constant theme in the show, shown throughout several episodes from start to finish. Although set thousands of years before the invention of the internet, The Untamed highlights one important truth: internet trolls have always existed in some form or other and they will never change. They don't attack the reputation of others because they honestly believe that person deserves it - they do it because it fucking makes them feel good. If you can't take their shit any more and you kill yourself, it only solidifies in their mind that they were right all along. It's uncomfortable, and is almost impossible to endure. Like Lan Wangji, I wanted to take sweet Wei Wuxian into my arms and whisk him away.

The love story

Hooo boy, da love story. I ofc realise this is the main reason fans love this show. Between them, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji portray all the emotions that have ever existed, and then some. I found myself melting at Wuxian's every smile, looking closely at Wangji's infinitesimal widening of his eyes or curl of his lips. Wuxian is a guy who talks a lot with his mouth and his body but never says the right things, and Wangji is a bloke who says very little but his thoughts are written all over his supremely gorgeous face. And when they're together... woof. Gurrl. Idek. The chemistry is just... something. There is some over-acting on Wuxian's actor's part in some scenes Wangji's actor isn't in, but when these two are in a scene together, they're kind of amazing. The actors put full effort in, and it shows.

The Cons

CGI and make-up

Although the same genre, don't expect the production value of Game of Thrones, or The Witcher. This one runs more along the CGI lines of Merlin and Doctor Who. If you can use some imagination and stomach those two shows, then you can watch this. Similarly, the zombies are not scary, like, at all. But maybe that is less to do with make-up and more to do with wangxian being so overpowered that if this was a jrpg video game, wangxian would be lv 99 by age 17.

Plot holes and side characters

This show is well written and paced. However, there's one episode in the second half that you could quite frankly chuck in the bin and nothing of value would be lost. The side story involves a third-rate villain and three side characters who the villain emotionally and physically tortures for shits and giggles. If you liked these characters, that's great, but the whole thing to me stank of torture porn and added nothing to the main plot or central characters or relationships. The Untamed is not the only show to suffer this; Altered Carbon comes to mind. There was literally a whole ep in that show dedicated to torturing the lead and I'm still flummoxed as to why some stories choose to do this when literally there is no point?? I get that this villain is central to The Untamed plot and that he is a dark reflection of Wuxian's future if he didn't have Wangji as an anchor, but those things could've been shown in other ways without dragging three characters idgaf abt into some flashback that bored me to tears.

Summary and general thoughts

Omg, dis my fandom now. I'm already reading fics and God, look, writing fucking essays. I'm so naughty - I got my bff into it just so I could have someone to talk to. Luckily, her 1st language is Mandarin, and after watching the show, she read the web novel in 4 days, then translated the porn for me. Of what she tells me though - unpopular opinion - I think I prefer this drama. I prefer the idea that Wuxian fell for Wangji love at first sight, and also, I'm not a huge fan of sex while drunk - it's actually kinda triggering for me. That's just personal things tho. Wangxian have some beautiful moments that I like to rewatch and keep cupped in my hands.

6/5 stars.

#the untamed #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #lan zhan #wei ying #jiang yanli #jiang chen #mdzs #mo dao su zhi #wang yibo #sean zhan #the untamed review #i made a thing #stuff #my review #netflix #text

[roadtogracelandx45]

Uncharted Waters| B. Sherman

Summary: Dewey is a well-known jerk within the Los Angeles police force and his family including his daughter Tess who has nothing to do with him until he gets shot and Chickie, his partner, calls her to let her know he has been hurt. A couple of weeks later, he is planning on retiring and Tess goes to the party and meets rookie cop Ben Sherman suddenly how Tess feels towards her father, Chickie and even John Cooper changes. 

Ben Sherman/ OFC 

Rated M for adult content

@marycorleone

Introduction 

Chickie sighed as she copied the number for Tessa Dudek, her partner's daughter from his phone to hers, she had been tasked with calling her and telling her father had been shot and was in surgery. And it was the last thing that she wanted to do. Dewey's relationship with not only Tessa but his wife had been strained, so much so that at 16, Tess cut him off only talking once or twice every few months, and even then it was strained and short. 

It had taken almost 4 years of Chickie and John Cooper working with him to find out that he had a daughter and that was only because he had to hunt her down. After all, she missed one of the twice-a-year meetings she had with both of her parents and his ex-wife and her mother freaked out so the three of them had to go hunt her down. 

They had found her of course, but the girl wasn't happy, she had slammed the door in Dewey's face after cussing him up one side and down the other. And personally, they found it funny that she did that. It was only fair that Dewey had someone who treated him how he treated others.

Taking another deep breath, she dialed the girl's phone number and was instantly met with a Hello. "Hey Tess, it's Chickie." "Oh hey Chickie, what's up?"  There was a lot of background noise and she wondered if Tessa was back to her old ways of working with adult entrainment and turning tricks, something that she and John swore they would never tell Dewey until they absolutely had to. 

"It's Dewey." 

"Oh?" 

The background noise faded slightly and the blonde officer was relieved, which meant she wouldn't have to shout to be heard, "he was shot, it doesn't look good." 

"And you are telling me this why? I don't have a relationship with him, you know that."

"I know kid, but he is your father, do you want him to die without trying to resolve what has happened in the past between  you two?"  

"I guess you are right, if anything it would be a good chance for me to tell him, I hate him."  Tess agreed, there were so many unresolved issues between them and so many things that she wanted to say to him but every time she saw him the anger took over and the curse words came out.

 "I will meet you there. Don't leave me alone with him Chickie, because I swear to god, he isn't dead, I will kill him myself."  "I will meet you downstairs," Chickie said before hanging up the phone, she was the only other officer who was there for Dewey and that was saying a lot.  People liked him when he was doing a drunken act but didn’t care enough to actually show up and hold virgle like she did. 

**

Ben Sherman glanced back at the doors that were swinging shut behind Chickie, there was a tall brunette who was going into the ICU waiting room. “Who is that?” He asked tearing his eyes away from the girl to Chickie who smirked, “Trust me it's not worth it.”  

Ben took one more glance over her head and then shook his head, if he wasn’t so exhausted he would go in there and talk to her.  “How is he?”

 “He will be okay.”  She gave a tired smile and went towards the exit ready to go home to her son. Deep down she had almost hoped Dewey would have died.

 This was a punishment of sorts. It had to be. 

 Ben glanced back at the girl before going into the waiting room.

***

"I must be dead." Dewey commented as he came back too, his daughter was sitting next to his bed, an open magazine on her lap and her lit-up cell phone in her hand, "I have to be because there is no way my daughter will be here under any other circumstances." 

"No, not dead but you should be." Tess returned as she snapped her phone shut and twisted to look at him, "Doc said they took 5 bullets out of you. Why weren't you wearing your vest?" 

Dewey groaned and reached to press the button for the nurse. He was going to be more medicated to listen to his daughter's bitching.

"Tess."

"Dewey."  

"Don't start."

She pulled a face and mimicked him, "What happened? All Chickie said was you responded to a disturbance that was it." 

"Why do you care?"  

Tessa flipped the magazine shut and reached for her bag that was on the window sill,  "See this is why I didn't want to come. Knew that our relationship was beyond repair. Told Chickie that. Told Charlene that. But they didn't want to listen. Told me it would be good to try. Said I should get to know my father. " 

The doctor came in with the nurse to check on him, "Glad you aren't dead. But kind of wish you were." She excused herself quickly from the room and went to exit to the waiting room. 

'Tess." Charlene started as she came back into the waiting room. 

"I got to go, Char, I was right he is never going to change." She returned. "Don't go back to work. Just go hang out in the waiting room."

 Charlene had been trying to talk Tess into quitting her nighttime jobs and going to school but the girl refused, repeating Dewey's statement about becoming a reporter. 

"Fine, I will hang out for a while longer."

**

Ben looked up when he heard the soft footsteps come into the waiting room, he had been expecting the mother of the girl that was asleep in the row of chairs near him but it was the girl he had seen in the hallway. 

"Hi.' He offered as she sat down a few seats away from him. "Hi.' She returned before glancing at the girl and then back at him, clearly curious about him.

 "Are you here for Dewey?" He asked. 'Yeah, you?" 

"Yeah, I was with him when he got shot."

"You are a cop?" 

He laughed almost bitterly, that was the third or fourth time he had heard that day and it wasn't getting any better. 

"I don't mean like that it's a bad thing. You are just too handsome to be a cop. Not like Dewey or Cooper."

"How do you know them?" He glanced at the sleeping girl one more time before turning fully to face the girl. 

She chewed on the inside of her cheek before answering, "Dewey is my father. I have known John since Dewey got settled into the same district." 

 "Dewey?" He repeated, "Dewey? Is your father?

" "In the loosest meaning of the term."  He laughed, he knew that feeling all too well, his own father was like that. Tessa felt a warm spread through her chest and she shook her head, she knew better than to get involved with anyone who wore uniforms, it usually ended up with her heartbroken and her going on a shopping spree. 

But like her father, Tess never ever learned. 

#ash writes #oc: tess taylor #series: uncharted waters #ben sherman fan fiction #ben sherman #ben sherman imagines #southland fan fiction #southland imagines

[sunnyie-eve]

Trust(Pt.14)

Series: Never Leave You | OBX

Paring: (JJ Maybank x OFC! Rafe Cameron x OFC!)

Word Count: 1998

Warnings: death, comforting, John B jealous, no secrets,

Last | Next

The next day Pope goes to visit his grandmother to ask about the key. Pope goes in to talk to her alone so the other five leave driving around close till they go back to pick him up. The girls go to get drinks while the boys wait in the van. Sarah and Kiara talk about their boy problems then say it's unfair Callie doesn't have any with JJ.

"The perfect couple." Kie smiles as they walk back to the boys.

"I don't have any problems with JJ... I do with your brother." Callie says so Sarah stops her.

"My brother? Rafe? You have problems with him?" She says super confused.

"Yeah, care to explain?" Kie eyes her.

"When you got back yesterday before I got stuff from home... I went to Rafe to give him a piece of my mind for trying to drown you. Also when I got flushed out of the sewer that was Rafe's doing. He thought you, JJ, and Pope were just down there. He felt bad when I told him it was just me down there."

"When did you guys have that conversation? When you went to go see him?" Kiara asks.

"No, it was later that night it happened. He snuck into my room because my window was unlocked..."

"How many times have you talked to Rafe alone after everything has happened?" Sarah asks Callie slightly annoyed.

Callie thinks back, "Five times." She says making the girls look at her, "The first time I went to go see my dad, Rafe was there and I slapped him. Later that same day he came by the house. Then the whole flushing me out thing. Umm, when I was running away I bumped into him and had a few words. Then when I went to go see him to give him a piece of my mind." She explains to them.

"I can't believe you talk to him." Kiara gets in the van.

"Talk to who?" JJ looks back at the three as they get in.

"Rafe." Kie eyes Callie.

"What?!" JJ raises his voice.

"It's nothing... Every time we talk I'm hitting him or shoving him away from me." Callie huffs.

"Has he tried kissing you again?" JJ asks her so they all look at her.

"Only two out of five times we've talked... the first two was in one day during the end of the summer when I went to go see my dad."

"You let Rafe kiss you?" Sarah laughs.

Callie stares at her, "No." She slightly lies laughing, "Why the hell would I let him kiss me? After everything? He's insane, Sarah."

After picking up Pope, he lets the group know everything being related to Denmark Tanny. As they all hang out they joke calling Pope royalty before Carla surprises them, and in exchange for the key, she hands over the recording to them. However, the key is fake and they rush to take the tape to Shoupe.

Once it was done for Ward, the boys, and Callie celebrated while Sarah and Kie watched. Sarah gets a call from Topper saying if she wants to talk to Ward, she better do it now since time is running out. As the group drives Sarah home, they see all the cop cars speeding there.

Ward was surrounded by the authorities and the group runs to watch. Ward yells Sarah shouldn't be there. Ward blows himself and his boat up. Sarah falls to pieces, and with John B and the others are stunned beyond belief. Topper goes to Sarah's side to comfort her while the others just watch still shocked.

Callie looks over at Sarah sobbing and felt bad for her because that was her father after all. For most of her life, he was a good father to her. JJ takes Callie's hand into his.

-

Callie walks up to the Cameron's place to go see Sarah knocking on the door and Rafe opens it, "Sarah left a few minutes ago. I know you aren't here for me." Rafe goes to shut the door so Callie stops it.

"As much as I hated your father and would've preferred to watch him rot in a cell next to you... I'm sorry for your loss. He was your father still. And I, at least hope when you were younger before you became a pain... you guys had a decent father and son relationship." She says making him look at her confused, "I'm not a monster, Rafe. I have empathy for people... even those who really don't deserve it." She gives him a sad smile.

"Rafe, who's at the..." Rose walks around the corner, "Callie." She looks at her.

"I came by to say sorry for your loss. The way that happened..." Callie starts to get glassy eyes picturing the scene again.

Seeing someone blow themselves up was something she would never get out of her head. But she couldn't decide if he deserved it or not because he murdered people and suicide was the easy way out for him to avoid the punishment for his actions.

"Thank you." Rose nods her head walking away knowing Callie actually meant her words.

"I should go back before the others wonder where I am." Callie turns to walk away.

When she walks out the gate Rafe rushes after her, "Callie, wait." He shouts making her turn around so he can hug her and she lets him.

"I have to go now, Rafe." She says after a few minutes of him just hugging her.

"Please don't leave me. Please don't leave like Sarah did. I don't have anyone but Wheezie now. I know I did a lot of bad shit. I've jumped your friends, I killed Peterkin, I almost killed you, and I almost killed my own sister...." He starts to tear up, "I know I can't change the past, but I'm gonna be different now. I'm sorry."

Callie just stares at him, "I believe you're sorry deep down but you being different is hard to believe, Rafe. It's not that easy, especially for you to do alone without getting help." She tells him truthfully.

"Then help me, please." He begs her grabbing her hands.

"Rafe... I don't know if I'm the right person for that. I still shouldn't even be here talking to you. I hate you but I don't hate you at the same time. Which makes me hate myself." Callie tears up.

"I just need a friend, Callie."

"I can't be that for to you for a while... I'm sorry, Rafe. I wish you luck." Callie leaves him standing alone wiping his tears away.

Callie swung by her place and it was just her aunt there, "Getting more clothes for John B's place?" Tess walks into the room.

"Yes."

"I know you're mad at me." Tess sighs.

"Of course, I am. Your sister moves back in and tries to be a parent to me again. Then you let Anna, the worst mother there is, try to talk you into sending me to boarding school with Kie. All we want to do is help our friends." Callie sighs as she puts clothes in her bag.

"I know. I'm just worried about your future, Callie. I want you to have a good one. Personally, I don't want you Kook but they could help you get there. But I know you won't because your heart belongs to a Pogue named JJ."

"You don't need to worry about me aunt Tess and yes, my heart belongs to JJ." Callie finishes up, "Now, I have to get going." Callie heads for the door.

"You're welcome back Callie. You don't have to run away."

"Actually, I do. I can't live with my mother." Callie leaves the house.

When she gets to John B's, he tells her that Sarah came by and broke up with him because of things and how he reacted to Ward dying.

"She'll come back around. She's one of us now." Callie says as it's just the both of them by the water.

"So you and JJ." John B looks at her.

"What about us?" She laughs at him with her feet in the water.

"You two are actually together now?" He eyes her.

"Yeah, we are." Callie smiles looking down at the water.

"I'm happy for you two. He deserves you." John B lets her know.

Callie watches him seeing him hiding something deep down, "You're keeping something to yourself. What is it?" She asks him.

"It's nothing important."

"Apparently it is if you're keeping it to yourself and not letting me know." She turns to face him.

"I really am happy for you two... it's just...younger me hurt deep down is hurt you kissed and are dating JJ over me." He sighs making Callie slightly laugh.

"But you aren't the younger you anymore, John B. I mean, I liked you when we were younger, I did but-,"

"But it's always been JJ who stole your heart?" He looks at her so she nods her head. "Don't think I'm not happy for you two or hate you guys together, I do love you both together."

"If I could heal younger you, I would kiss you back." She kisses his cheek but he grabs her face kissing her so she just gives him a kiss back quick so he will stop. It meant completely nothing to her since she didn't feel anything.

"Found them!" They hear Pope yell so Callie gets up leaving John B side going up towards JJ and Kie.

"Trying to cheer him up?" JJ wraps his arms around her.

"Yeah, he then asked about us. Said he's really happy for us."

"I think we're all happy you two are officially together. I better be the maid of honor for the wedding." Kiara heads inside to get some beer while JJ laughs.

"You okay?" JJ sees Callie's face.

"I don't want to keep secrets between us..." She looks up at him.

"I don't want to either. What is it?" He walks them over to sit in the hammock.

"Promise me, you won't get mad at me or anyone else." Callie puts her pinky finger out so he takes it. "Just now John B kissed me and to get it over with to heal young him I did like a kiss your grandma kiss." She spits out and JJ just nods his head.

"It meant nothing though right?"

"Of course not, I felt nothing with him compared to you."

"Anything else?" He asks.

"When you were ignoring me before school started and my dad just got back. The first day I went over to see him and Rafe was there... I accidentally spilled a huge secret to him and he when he was comforting me he kissed me. Except this time I kissed him back before I realized what I was so rushing home."

"You kissed Rafe back?" JJ stares at her. "What was your secret he comforted you about for you to kiss his ass back?" JJ gets slightly upset.

Callie starts to tear up not wanting to say it again and on purpose this time, "I slipped that Joey raped me."

The slight anger in JJ disappears from her kissing Rafe to what Joey did to her.

"Please don't hate me for this next part." She grabs his hand. "Later that same night I was home alone drinking and getting high because I wanted to relax. Will was back, you were ignoring me, I spilled my biggest secret, I kissed Rafe, and I was stressed with everything. Rafe ended up coming by wanting to talk about earlier but I didn't want to... so I told him to kiss me again. He didn't want to because of the state I was in. I told him to kiss me or get out of the house so he kissed me and things happened."

"So you hooked up with Rafe?" He asks but wasn't mad at her.

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. We weren't together and you were going through a lot of things. I'm not mad at you, Callie." He squeezes her hand.

"You should be. I hooked up with Rafe. Out of everyone on this island, I picked the worst person. After everything."

"Callie, I'm not mad and I'm not going to be. I can't be because you actually told me. You didn't keep it to yourself. I know I can trust you."

#obx #outer banks #obx ff #obx jj #obx john b #obx kiara #obx sarah #obx pope #obx rafe #jj maybank #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope hayward #rafe cameron #sarah cameron #jj mayback imagine #obx jj maybank #rudy pankow #rafe cameron imagine

[gloriousprincesscreature]

This is how I spend a weekend

I watched Minority Report on Friday night although I had a strong hunch that I would Not Like it, because Tom Cruise is smoking hot in it. Turns out, I did not like it, but Tom Cruise was hot. Absolutely no regrets.

And then I spent the entire Saturday thinking about the blocking and set design in Minority Report, woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep. So I went back and watched thirty more minutes of grey dreck just so that I could stare at Tom's beautiful face and on Sunday morning I am exhausted.

Now its 3pm on Sunday and ... I am rewatching the rest of Minority Report because TC is positively glowing in every shot he appears in.

I don't know what it is about this guy, there's just something magical that draws the eye to his face at the exclusion of everything else on the screen.

Observation 1: He can do the subtle eyes shimmering with tears really well. We don't even know what really happened with John's son the first two times this expression appears and I am already sad because I'm empathizing Hard, and hey, I am a deeply unemotional person due to being dead inside. OCD and a lousy job will do that to a person. But I'm also terribly, terribly aroused. The script is thin with regard to John's character but TC's vulnerability and the thin, almost bruised-looking skin under his eyes just Does Things to me.

Observation 2: He can't convey anger with depth. It's just shouting.

SPOILERS AHEAD. If you can even spoil a twenty year old movie. Maybe with expensive vacations and designer lingerie. I'm too poor to have ever tried.

Observation 3: The movie is better on a second watch. I can mentally filter out the silly comedic/action elements that should not have been there in the first place. Without them it's a straight up neo-noir in the vein of LA Confidential. Just as in LA Confidential, there's a Twink (Danny Witwer/Colin Farrell), an evil authority figure, and a beautiful, deeply tormented, emotionally repressed cop.

Observation 4: TC's eyebrows and hair have never looked better.

Observation 5: John Anderton is in love with Lamar Burgess. Of this much I am sure. He saves his only real smile for Lamar and ... hahahaha ... we all know what happens next.

I'm replaying bits of this compulsively. Something intensely fucked up and loving happened between these two men.

"Remember, the eyes ... the eyes of the nation are on us right now. And we both know, I'm not the generation anyone listens to, but people trust you, John. When you speak of your absolute belief in pre-crime, they know its a belief born of pain, not politics. I always understood that, and I may have even encouraged it, to help with the cause. [Deep sigh] But now, your pain is hurting both of us."

Lamar meets John eyes briefly before looking away. John has been looking at Lamar the whole time. John continues to gaze at Lamar with so. much. Love. Concern. And all these feelings just getting in the way of what is So Obvious to Us. Lamar is hiding something. John is honest.

"They're not gonna take it away from us. [long pause. Continues to stare into the face of his Beloved/Teacher/Saviour/Master. Makes a vow] I won't let them."

We stay with this moment for awhile before cutting away (BUT NOT LONG ENOUGH). Which is (still) lovely and a lot of modern films don't do this.

I think, I think this is the most intimate, personal interaction in this movie. Minority Report is poxy with zooming camera, overbearing soundtrack, office environments. But when Lamar and John speak, its quiet and the camera just stops fucking around and doesn't get in the way.

Max von Sydow is class. He's inherently slinky and he purrs.

These two minutes hold the seeds (or fragments? fragments) of a much better movie.

At this moment, I don't know if Tom Cruise can Act, but that face was carved by the Gods.

*deep sigh*

I can't finish the rewatch.

#not tom cruise #minority report #2002 #this is my life now #no screencaps because that's how xxxxxx Pxxx rolls Fuck this I am buying the DVD after which I Swear to god I'll complete this write up #for now you just have unhinged commentary without pictures #watching and commenting while half assing several other work things is how you take 6 hours to watch 40 minutes of a movie

[sincerelyjxyy]

Gold Rush - Five

Invisible String - Gold Rush

Chapter Five - Before Giving Up My Aches

✧ i don't want to beg. i know you can feel it, my longing, the aching, my need for love. i don't want to beg. but oh god-oh god, please. please. love me. love me. — a.m, desperation sits heavy on my tongue ✧

Summary: Josie's emotions are at an all time overflow as she tries to cope with watching her best friend stick a a weapon to someone's head and her consistent lying to her mother. But there's no time to stop, as she and the pogues revisit the wreckage to find out why everyone on the island is looking for it. Whatever it is, it seems to be worth someone trying to kill them.

Word Count: 13k

Gold Rush Masterlist

SLEEPING IN THEIR OWN BEDS THE NIGHT AFTER THE KEGGER GAVE THE POGUES MUCH NEED SPACE. And when each of them woke up the next morning, the weight of what happened the night prior hung heavy over their shoulders.

Word always spread quickly around the island; so it was only a matter of time before everyone knew about a pogue shooting off a gun at the beach.

Josie spent the morning hanging out in Kiara's bedroom, listening as she ranted about how stupid and ridiculous boys were, especially the ones they chose to hang out with. That afternoon, the group gathered at the Chateau, unsure of how to bring up what'd happened. But it was clear that they'd have to face it head on after John B told them about the visit he'd received from Sheriff Peterkin.

Apparently, Peterkin had a suspicion that they'd all been out and found the wreck, as well as knowing about JJ's incident at the Boneyard. And Josie couldn't help the red flashing lights going off in her head as she thought about those implications.

JJ in trouble. John B in trouble. Her mother finding out.

The group congregated at the mini shack as John B filled them in on his morning with the Sheriff. JJ, who'd been acting weird all day, sat away on a table by himself throwing rocks out into the grass. Jose watched Kie tap at some bongos as she tried to strum at a Ukulele, reading some notes Kiara had jotted down for her. Pope was catching up on some summer reading.

"Look, I'm callin' it off. Alright?" John B called after a while, gathering everyone's attention. "Peterkin said, if I stay out of the marsh, she'll help me with DCS."

Josie understood his caution. It was a concern for all of them as much as it was for John B. They were a team; a family, and him being sent out to foster care in the mainland was an absolute no-go. They could not let anyone separate them, especially not people who had no idea what was really good for them.

"And you believed her?" JJ questioned, never one to trust a cop.

"Yes, I believe her JJ." John B countered, clearly not willing to discuss any other alternatives. He was rightfully adamant; the boy was being threatened with forcefully being removed from his home.

"An actual cop, John B. You believed a cop." JJ laughed in disbelief as he spoke. He angrily threw another rock out into the distance.

Josie couldn't entirely fault him; it was the only thing JJ had ever known; to always have his guard up and not believe a word any authoritative figure had to say. The Maybanks didn't exactly have the best record with cops, that was no secret among the islanders. And she knew that his father's constant back-and-forth from jail only aided in JJ's mistrust towards cops.

Somewhere in the back of his head, he blamed all of them for being jackasses who forced parents away from their kids; no matter how illegal the shit his father was doing was.

Josie had to keep herself from bursting into flames at the mere thought of Luke Maybank.

"All I gotta do is stay out of the marsh for a couple days, and she'll help me out." John B angrily stated, throwing the walking stick he'd been fidgeting with down on the ground. Josie nudged it away from her foot, and she tried to avoid watching the argument unfold. "It doesn't help that your ass was the one shooting a gun."

Josie winced as John B blamed their blond friend, willing herself not to think back to what was arguably one of the scariest nights of her life. How were any of them supposed to look at people and say that there wasn't a gun, when the one who held the weapon was none other than one of their own?

"You know what I should've done, man? I should've just let Topper drown your ass." JJ shook his head in disbelief, like he couldn't believe John B wasn't grateful JJ had stuck the barrel of a gun to Topper's head.

Josie rolled her eyes, looking at her best friend as if he'd grown two heads. She couldn't see how he still didn't see why what he did was fucked up.

She could, of course. She knew he was too stubborn and prideful, but it was still stupid.

"Yeah, because Topper was gonna drown me?" Despite the tone in John B's voice that declared he didn't believe the Thornton boy was capable of it, Josie couldn't help but disagree with him. They didn't really know what the kook would've done.

"Sure looked like it." JJ rebutted, standing up from the table. Josie sighed, leaning down to place her head in her hands. She listened to John B, who let out a sarcastic laugh at JJ.

"Funny."

"Have you looked in a mirror?" JJ countered, motioning to his eye as he approached the group. John B's eye sported a gnarly looking black and blue bruise around it, a clear indication of where Topper had gotten a few good hits in.

Josie had gotten a glimpse of it forming the night prior, when she'd held an ice pack to it as they frantically made their way back to the Chateau. But that was when it was fresh and still forming. The bruise was vibrant and present in the light of the sun by the next day.

"John B..." Josie sighed, looking up at the boy, and he stared down at her expectantly. She could tell that he was annoyed she'd decided to pick JJ's side, though not uncommonly, and was seemingly going to defend the boy's inexcusable actions.

"You didn't see the way Topper was holding you down. I know I always joke about it, but you do only have one life. The way he held you under the water...it really did look like he was going to drown you." John B scoffed as he rolled his eyes, and he glanced around like Josie had said the most ridiculous thing ever.

"I'm not saying what JJ did wasn't stupid, because it definitely was," she turned to fleetingly glare at the blond. "I'm just saying that it really did look like something bad was going to happen" She peered at John B and hoped that he could see her concern at the situation. It was more complex than this is wrong, this is right.   

"Jose, I know you hate the guy's guts, but so do I. You don't see me claiming he's capable of murder." John B sternly stared down at her as he spoke, crossing his arms over his chest. Josie scoffed at the notion, looking back down at her hands and leaning back in the chair she was sitting in.

Why couldn't he see that this was much more than a childhood rivalry? Why didn't he consider the real physical injuries that could've taken a turn for the worse?

"They always win, don't they?" JJ leaned his arm up against the post behind Josie's chair, looking around at all of them. The question was rhetorical, of course, just JJ pointing out what most of them already knew. Kooks were always a step ahead, and never had to face any of the consequences those from the Cut did.

"Kooks versus Pogues. They always, always win." He hit one of the hanging decorations and turned to walk away in frustration.

"Goddamn!"

"Look, it's okay!" Kie reasoned, desperately looking to her redheaded friend for help. Josie glanced back at JJ and watched as he whipped around to retort back at the girl in anger.

"No, it's not okay! It is not!" He emphasized, clearly irritated with everything going on. Josie looked up at him sympathetically as he marched back over to the group. She gave him an understanding look, and she stuck her hand out over the side of her seat towards him.

He took it without another thought and animatedly moved his other hand as he spoke. "They don't want us to go down into the marsh. That means there's something valuable down there and you know it, man." He pointed at John B, who rolled his eyes at his friends' spouting.

"I know you do."

The blond scrutinized Pope. "And I understand why you don't wanna go. You're the golden boy. You got way too much to risk. And you two..." he motioned with their joined hands towards the girls. 

"I mean, you're both already rich as fuck anyway. Why would you bother?"

Josie rolled her eyes as she glanced over at Kie and removed her hand from his. She never liked having that conversation with him, and it was no different around her friends.

It was the only thing about the boy that Josie genuinely couldn't ever accept; his preconceived notion that Josie may think herself better than him because of their financial statuses.

Many drunken nights, JJ had confessed to her that he fully believed Josie sometimes saw him as the gum on the bottom of her shoe- or at least should see him that way. And even when he was sober, Josie could sometimes see the resentment in his eyes when he was reminded that they were, in fact, from different sides of the island.

But in spite of all of that, they were best friends. So, Josie felt it sting a little when he condescendingly spoke to the girls as if they both wouldn't risk their lives for the boys.

"But you and me, man. We got nothing to lose!" John B rolled his eyes in exasperation. Josie could see JJ's dramatics were starting to get to John B.

"We really don't, alright? And I know, it didn't used to be that way for you."

Josie closed her eyes, willing herself not to think too much about Big John's disappearance. How she and Kiara hadn't been there when John B had lost the most important person in his life.

Big John getting lost at sea had absolutely taken its toll on John B, despite how much he'd insist that he was fine. She'd seen it in the way he'd never open or even look at his father's office door. Or the way he sometimes looked at Papa Heyward as if he was seeing someone else, his own father. She saw it when he'd sometimes grow quiet on the boat as he navigated around the island, staring out into the ocean as if it would give him the answer he was searching for. And her heart broke for him. She understood what it was like to search for answers that wouldn't come.

"I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk about it." John B's temper was short as he moved to withdraw from the group.

"So that's it?"

"Just get outta my way, bro." John B pushed JJ out of his path, ducking under the ornament and walking away to get his space. His tone was final as he tried to let the wind blow away his annoyance, but JJ was having none of it.

"John B, listen to me. I have a plan." JJ claimed, making his way towards a denying John B.

The three remaining pogues skeptically looked at each other in. It wasn't always a good outcome when it came to JJ's plans.

"You got the key to Cameron's big boat, right? There's scuba gear inside that, man. We just borrow that, and then we go down to the wreck this afternoon, and that is what's gonna save you, man." JJ wrapped his arm around JJ's shoulder, insistent as he leaned down to make direct eye contact with John B.

Josie was appalled that his solution was more illegal shit but was not at all surprised.

She leaned back in her chair exasperated, and she caught the sympathetic look Kiara was throwing at her. The last thing the redhead needed was a problem with Ward Cameron; mainly because she knew the man quite well thanks to her mother literally being his lawyer.

Even if it was just John B that Ward caught, word could easily spread to her mother. It would give her even more ammunition against the pogues in her attempts to keep Josie from them.

Not that it was the biggest concern here, but it still sat fresh in her mind.

She watched JJ pull the all too familiar persuasiveness card as he spoke to his friend. "You don't see rich kids go into foster care, do you?"

Hook, line, and sinker.

John B looked over at JJ, mental debate flashing across the expressions on his face, before his shoulders slagged and he turned his attention to the group. "Guess I'm the one stealing the gear then?"

Josie sighed, harshly placing the ukulele on a nearby surface and standing. She gazed at JJ, who now sported a grin as he and John B walked back towards the group. She shot a narrowed glare his way, clearly still not over his blatant lack of respect towards her.

She acknowledged that maybe she was being dramatic, but she currently felt like her head was going to explode. All of her lies felt like they were piling up on each other and she couldn't help but feel like she was going to combust from the emotions begging to be let out of her chest. She couldn't help but feel a little justified for some slight dramatics.

She shot Kiara a vexed look; not towards the girl but instead at the boys around them. She lifted her backpack from the ground and sighed out as she glanced around at the boys.

"Just meet me at the docks...I need a sec."

She began marching her ways towards the jeep, ignoring the sounds of confusion that audibly left her blond best friend. He glanced around at the others helplessly, but Kiara shrugged as she watched Josie go. She couldn't blame her for wanting to take a time-out, and she wasn't going to try and stop her friend from making her own choices to protect her mental wellbeing.

JJ vigorously disagreed with that notion, and he scrambled to follow the girl stomping away from them.

Josie tried to ignore the hasty sounds of leaves crunching under footsteps behind her. She made it about seventy-five percent of the way to her car before she felt a hand take hold of her wrist, ripping it away as she turned to look at the culprit.

Of course she knew it was JJ. He didn't need to say anything, and she didn't have to see him to know. The pull the both of them always felt with one another was enough to tell. Like they had a tether that glowed brightly within their souls when they were with each other. She just knew.

He wasn't fazed by her obvious attempt to convey that she didn't want him to touch her, reaching out to place both hands on her shoulders as he bent down to meet her eyesight. "C'mon, Jose, now you gotta tell me why you're mad."

He smirked, looking at her with knowing eyes. "I know you're dying to say something."

She peaked back at her friends behind him, gathering their own things and discussing the plan once John B was able to get the scuba gear. Her eyes moved back at JJ hesitantly, and she gently pushed his arms off of her shoulder.

Whilst she may be confused and contemplating her own feelings, she didn't want to be a bitch to her friends. And she especially didn't want to act awful towards the most important person in her life, despite her irritation towards him. So, she sighed and tried to collect her thoughts.

"Honestly J, I just need a few minutes to drive and be alone. Just tell John B to pick me up at the docks once he grabs you guys from here." She went to turn around, but he quickly beat her to it, moving in front of her and blocking her path to the jeep.

"Okay, then let me come with. We'll play some Taylor, and I won't say a thing." He pretended to zip his lips shut, holding two fingers towards her as if he was giving her the key. She shook her head, pushing his hand away in finality.

"No J, I mean it. I want to be alone."

She tried not to let the defeated look that crossed his golden features get to her too much, softly touching his arm as she passed him and continued on her way to the jeep. She couldn't turn back and look at him.

She knew herself well enough to know that if she saw that look on his face again, she'd give in and stay here with the rest of them.

As she approached the jeep, she went to reach into her bag and pull out her keys. She pulled them out, only to be slightly startled by the hand reaching out on her left side and pulling the door open. She looked up and met the apologetic blue eyes staring down at her.

She gave him a small, tight-lipped, grateful smile and climbed into the jeep. He shut the door behind her, tapping the open window as he leaned into it. She placed her bag in the seat beside her, and she tried to avoid his eyes by cranking the jeep and placing both her hands on the wheel to keep her fingers busy.

"Jose."

It was rare that JJ used his soft and small voice, which convinced Josie to look over at him. Her green eyes searched his as he smiled at her, his own blue gaze gentle as he reached in the car to squeeze her left arm.

"I know I'm a dick, alright? If it's about what I said back there, 'm sorry. 'Course I know you bother with us 'cause you care." He reached out to playfully poke her cheek, causing her to look at him faux unimpressed. But she still sent a gentle smile his way, and she playfully grabbed his hand from her face.

"You're right, you are a dick." Josie shrugged, but laughed to let him know that she wasn't irreversibly angry with him. "It's fine, I just need to figure out my own issues on top of all this." She let go of his hand to motion around at the Chateau around them.

He huffed out a laugh, leaning an arm on the top of the car door as he gazed down at her. Josie had to beat down the part of her that intently watched the movements of his muscled arms, while also trying not to focus too much on the gentle smile he was sending down to her.

"You sure you don't want me to come? I can be a good listener."

Josie laughed sarcastically, poking fun at the notion that JJ could do anything other than chat someone's ear off. She nodded at him doubtfully and patted the hand that rested on the window crack.

"I'll see you in a bit, love you."

She watched as he backed away from the car, and she made her way out of John B's makeshift driveway and down the main road through the cut.

She maneuvered to dig her phone out of her pocket and tried to multitask as she drove and connected the aux cord. After a few struggles, she finally was able to get it connected and playing.

And as she listened to Taylor sing about how anxious she was in her relationship; Josie could help but admire the silence that otherwise filled the car. The past few days had been full of commotion; if she was at home, she was constantly bombarded by any members of her family and only truly alone when she was asleep.

If she was hanging out with the pogues, she was almost never alone.

Josie would never complain about that. She wouldn't consider it a terrible thing to be surrounded by the ones that she loved. But even then, she hadn't had time to herself.

And most times she was in this very car, she almost always had someone else in here. She hadn't thought to take the time while she was driving to digest her feelings, to comb through them to try and accept what her reality had become.

It felt like her lies were quickly piling up, and it felt like it was worse now that it was summer, and she didn't have the excuse of being at school. And that could only last for so long; this next year being their last before they graduated.

She was getting older, and the pogues were experiencing more mature things than they had in their previous years. And with that came the notion that she was, to some extent, supposed to garner more and more responsibility to do the right things.

Her mother had always imposed the belief that before her children turned eighteen, they were expected to do everything absolutely right so that they didn't live the same life their father had growing up. They were to grow up pristine in the eyes of everyone else, making their mother look like the fiercest and most successful parent, because that's what mattered to Petunia Shoupe at the end of the day. Success in the eyes of others.

And then when they were eighteen, they were to graduate college and get into only the best of the best colleges. They'd do what their mother had decided seemed like the correct career path for them and would finish it to then be the best in whatever field she'd chosen. They'd eventually pop out a few legitimate grandchildren for her. It was the natural cycle of what was expected from Josie.

And now here she was, less than a year from turning eighteen, and doing absolutely nothing but feeding lie after lie to her mother. And it wasn't just about the pogues.

She still hadn't told her mother about Chapel Hill, or about her father being back on the island somewhere. How was she supposed to do it when Josie could barely get a word out without her mother needing to control the outcome?

She figured she had to get her neurotic behavior from somewhere. But Josie wasn't a liar; at least she didn't like to think of herself that way.

She felt everything fully and outwardly, completely aware that her emotions controlled her life a plethora of times. She knew that even though her mother was a shitty person, she was still her mother. And lying to her felt like telling her mother that she could fuck off a cliff.

Then there was the flip side to that coin, because how else could she be around her friends? The friends who she bared her soul to and knew her better than her own family. The same friends who her mother despised with a passion.

Her mother had made it very clear when Josie had started high school that any relationships with the pogues was to be left behind in her adolescence, as the real world would have no tolerance for those financially inferior to them.

She knew ultimately it was her choice to continuously hide things from her mother. She could tell them all right now that she didn't want to participate in any illegal activities they did and walk away. But where would that leave her? Applying for colleges she didn't want to go to and avoiding her friends?

It was the exact thing she was trying to avoid.

And JJ's sudden intent on trying so badly to one-up the kooks was no help either. Shooting that gun last night just emphasized the fact that they were all starting to deal with very real and very intense decisions. He was also getting older, and with that came having thoughts and making choices on right and wrong. She knew she couldn't hold his hand and guide him down her direction forever, especially not if she went off to college. He was a big boy who was going to have to guide himself.

She just wasn't sure she was fully willing to let him do it alone.

She didn't have many options to consider, and this conclusion made Josie hit her steering wheel in frustration. She had to just accept the fact that, until she was eighteen, she had to continue lying to her mother and living the one life she had.

As frustrating and complicated as it was, it was worth not losing her friendships.

She pulled into the Heyward's parking lot, not wanting to deal with paid parking and knowing that Pope's dad wouldn't really mind it, despite what he may say. She knew she was his favorite of Pope's friends, affectionately taking her in as a father figure after hers disappeared.

She removed her phone from the aux cord and grabbed her backpack from the passenger seat, pulling out her air pods from the zipped pocket. She didn't want to give anyone a reason to talk to her, sticking them in as she exited the jeep.

While walking towards the Coast Guard, she heard fits of laughter passing by near her. And usually, she would've completely ignored the anxious burst of sounds coming from teens, but she recognized one of the laughs very clearly.

She looked up to see a group of people making their way to pass her, green eyes immediately connecting with deep brown ones. They were shining brightly due to the laughter leaving from the paired lips, and Josie couldn't help but feel a bit jealous.

Max hadn't looked like that with her in weeks.

He stopped as he stared at her, causing the group around him to also come to a stop. They all looked back at him confused, before following his gaze to see the girl stopped in front of them.

She tried to ignore the harsh glares coming from the people with him, knowing that she'd made that bed the moment she chose who to be friends with.

"Why don't you guys go ahead? I'll catch up," he patted Topper's shoulder assuredly. The rest of the group seemed to check if he was sure, and he waved his hand at them to go ahead.

Josie tried to calm the sad bitterness that filled her chest.

From the corner of her eyes, she could see Topper glaring at her as they all passed by. Without even glancing at him, she only offered her middle finger as he walked by.

After a few moments, she glanced behind her to make sure they were out of earshot, before taking her silent air pods out of her ears and stuffing them back into her bag.

They slowly approached each other, both feeling awkward as they weren't sure what to say to one another. Josie also couldn't help but feel extremely guilty when she considered that she hadn't thought once to call him and work this out.

"So...you guys going somewhere?" She asked, throwing a thumb over her shoulder and sending Max a bitter smile. He avoided her eyesight. Apparently, their shoes were much more interesting than she could ever be. Her boyfriend nodded and cleared his throat.

"Yeah. Yeah uh, we were just going by the Wreck to grab something." He motioned towards the backpack over her shoulder, and out back towards the docks she was approaching. "You?"

"Uh, yeah. Just going out on the boat with Kie-"

"You mean Kie, Pope, John B, and JJ." He interrupted bitterly, raising his eyebrows accusingly as he finally made eye contact with her. He scoffed as pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously annoyed at the notion of her being with her friends, and immediately the mood shifted.

"I can't believe you- they literally held a gun to Topper's head last night, Josephine. Maybank was going to shoot him."

"Topper was drowning John B," Josie countered. Max laughed out in disbelief, stepping backwards once to look over her in bewilderment.

"I cannot believe you're defending him."

"I'm not defending anyone, Max. I'm simply stating it's a bit hypocritical for you to hold a grudge against JJ when your friends are just as bad."

"Oh, so now this is about my friends? You want to talk about your friends? Let's talk about the fact that I know you're going behind your mom's back right now to hang out with them. Doesn't that clue you in that maybe, just maybe, you should get better friends? Friends that don't walk around like they can do whatever they want, or aren't assholes who try to meddle in your relationship?" Max was speaking animatedly as he waved around them, pointing out the things that haunted Josie everywhere she went.

"My friends are assholes? Have you met Topper Thornton, or Rafe Cameron, or really any of the people you hang out with?" Josie accused, motioning back towards the group that had turned out of their eyesight. Even though Rafe Cameron wasn't currently occupying that group, she was still in her right mind to lump them all together.

"No, see the difference is my friends don't give a damn I'm dating you. Do they like you? Not particularly. But none of them have ever, not once, tried to convince me to break up with you. Because they have enough respect to stay out of our relationship." Josie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, clearly frustrated.

"How are they supposed to like me, Max? I barely know them, just like you barely know the pogues. Because instead of spending time together and introducing our friends, lately we've just been fighting and it's so frustrating! I want to be able to talk to you, and tell you the things I'm going through, but you don't seem to want to listen!" Josie cried in desperation, voice breaking as her emotions from the past few days spilled over her water lines. She reached up to quickly wipe them away, not wanting to show how sensitive she was right now.

But Max had already seen it, and she observed as he uncrossed his arms and sighed. He glanced up at the sky for a few moments and shook his head, before walking towards her and wrapping her in an embrace. She lifted her arms to wrap around his neck as his wrapped around her torso, her desperation to be held outweighing any negative feelings she had.

She tried to hide her face in his neck as her stray tears fell into the collar of his shirt. She pulled him into her, desperate for the warmth that surrounded him for comfort. She lifted a hand to run through the hair on the back of his head, placing a gentle kiss on his neck.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a baby."

She felt him squeezed her tighter into him as he rested the side of his face on her head. He placed a gentle kiss on her hair, and she listened to his gentle shushes as he rubbed a hand up and down the small of her back.

"I'm sorry, too. I had a lot to do with the distance between us recently." He pulled back from her, lifting his hands to cradle her jaw in his tanned hands. He gently ran his thumbs over the tear streaks down her cheeks, wiping them away as he gazed down at her. "I've been forcing you into something you're not ready for yet. I've been an absolute asshole. And you know what?"

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're completely right, we haven't been spending time together and we haven't been talking. But I promise I'm going to change that. First thing tomorrow I'm coming by your house, and we're going to spend the whole morning together. I'll take you out for breakfast, okay?" He tilted her head to completely look up at him. He leaned down to press the sides of their noses together, smiling as Josie closed her eyes to try and stop the tears.

"And we can talk about how we're gonna start making an effort, with all of our friends."

Josie nodded, opening her eyes to smile up at him. She just wanted them to try, just try, to make it work. She wanted to go to him about her problems and feel safe knowing he'd support her. She wanted the partnership and companionship she craved from him. She cared about him so much, he was her first boyfriend. And she so desperately wanted to be able to see this thing through. To prove that love didn't have to be hard.

She lifted herself off her toes to close the small distance and pushed their lips together, gripping the wrists that still held her jaw in their hands. Their lips moved against one another in sync, not having to worry about things as trivial as secrecy.

Max moved his hands to cradle the back of her head, and Josie giggled into the kiss. Teeth clashed through smiles and giggles as she wrapped her arms around his torso, hands flat on his back.

She laughed out as he moved away to place kisses all around her face. He kissed her temple, her cheeks, the corners of her mouth, her nose, her jaw, her eyebrows, and anywhere else he could reach. She couldn't help but squirm full of laughter as he let out obnoxiously wet kiss noises around her face. She playfully tried to push him off, but with no avail.

This was what love was supposed to feel like. Freeing and forgiving.

Their playful session was interrupted by a nearby whistle, grabbing both teens' attention as they surveyed the dock for the culprit. It was only moments before Josie made out the slowly approaching boat in the water, four pogues watching the couple, and three of them sporting unimpressed glares.

Josie sighed and gently shrugged her boyfriend away, grabbing both of his hands and lifting to her toes to place a quick peck on his mouth. "See you tomorrow, then?"

He smiled, leaning down to return with a kiss of his own, letting it last a little longer, before pulling only inches away from her face. "Tomorrow, breakfast. Eight sharp, no later."

Josie hummed, sending him a sweet close-lipped smile before breaking away towards her friends.

"I'll call you tonight!"

She nodded back at him, giving him a small wave and making her way down one of the closest docks.

She waited and tried to smile as her rather quiet friends approached, the boys squinting up at her with a bit of disdain. She tried her best not to physically squirm from the stares, and instead kept her focus on a welcoming Kiara.

JJ reached out for her hand, helping her step off the dock and into the boat without tripping. He quickly let go once she was steady, pursing his lips and nodding. "Alone, huh?"

She furrowed her eyebrows as she watched him walk away from her, shaking her head at the notion that she couldn't hang out with her boyfriend and not him. She rolled her eyes, making her way over to Kie and removing her bag to set it down by her friend's.

She sat down next to the girl, who gave her a sympathetic look in return. Josie then glanced over at Pope, who sighed and shrugged as if to say he was only doing it because the other two were doing it. John B and JJ shot her tight-lipped smiles, but otherwise refused to look at her.

And without another word, they were off to the Marsh.

They had about an hour or so to themselves, fishing for drum and chilling around on the boat. But they could tell they all were focused on something else entirely, and it wasn't long before they pulled in the lines and began their real journey. 

They navigated their way back to where they'd found the sunken boat the day prior. The water was considerably higher than the day before, having rushed back a bit after being blown away the day prior.

Once they'd found the correct spot, they began investigating the scuba gear John B had taken from the Cameron's boat.

"This is empty. You took empty tanks?" Kiara questioned as she checked the tanks, passing the empty one over to Josie to get out of the way. John B stuttered to find a reply, knowing how dumb he'd been for stealing an empty tank.

"'Kay this one's a quarter full," Kiara said once she checked the second one. It still wasn't very reassuring to send one of them down in a quarter full tank.

"It's enough for one of us."

"Love it when a plan comes together," Pope stated sarcastically, arms crossed on his thighs. He had a point; this was setting up for failure.

"Does anybody know how to dive?" Kiara asked, receiving an awkward silence as they all looked at each other to see if any of them had any experience. "Anybody?"

Josie had taken a class when she was younger, but she'd been more focused on leaving the lesson to play pirates with her friends than actually paying attention; so she was sure she'd retained nothing.

"It's kind of a kook sport." JJ responded awkwardly, considering the fact that all of them were water bugs and none of them knew how to dive. 

"I...read about it." Pope offered, causing Josie to giggle and pat his back. He smiled back at her solidarity, and she leaned forward to rest her elbow on his shoulder.

"Great, Pope read about it, so somebody's gonna die." Kiara sarcastically stated, pointing out the obvious risk factor that came with going down with absolutely no experience.

"Look, y-you put the thing in your mouth and breathe. How hard could it be?" JJ offered, looking around at all of them. He clearly didn't understand the ramifications of diving.

"If you come up too fast, nitrogen gets into your blood, and you get the bends." Pope stated matter-of-factly, and Josie scrunched her face and nodded in agreement. She'd read quite a bit about divers who'd died from the aftershocks of decompression sickness.

"Bends like, bend over and..." JJ bent over in a clearly sexual position, and Josie hid a snort of laughter behind her hand at his gutter-filled mind. Only JJ.

"In 1840 British soldier Charles Pasley reported that all the men who had made frequent dives to recover the sunken warship HMS Royal George had contracted the bends, aka decompression sickness. It killed all of them," Josie interrupted JJ's clear display of humor. The blond's face sunk in realization, and he stood back to his height.

"Right."

She shook her head and glanced over at Kiara. "I'll do it. We know I can hold my breath the longest. So, if anything happens, I can take it off and make my way up slowly. Plus, I took a class when I was like ten. Should just come back to me, like riding a bike, right?"

"Nope, don't think I'm okay with that one." JJ shook his head, tapping the metal of the steering wheel's windshield. His own gaze met her unimpressed one for the first time since she'd boarded the boat, shrugging his shoulders as if to say it was a done deal.

"No, I can-I can dive," John B offered, looking assuredly over at the redhead across the boat. He looked sure of himself, and Josie could help but shoot a skeptical look towards him. There was no way.

"You can dive. I'm cool with that."

Josie scoffed, raising her hands in front of her as she questioningly peered at the blond boy. Why could he trust John B to go down there and not her?

She looked at him in bewilderment, moving to see if Kiara was also witnessing the audacity of the boy. But she was looking at John B, unconvinced. "Since when can you dive?"

"I'll do it, it's fine." John B's tone was final, but Josie scoffed in retaliation.

"I literally just said I could do it."

"I'm not okay with that either." Kiara spoke sternly and shot the girl a glare as if to tell her not to push it. Josie shook her head, not knowing what other option they had to go explore the boat.

She stared over at the brunette girl and silently tried to convince Kiara to back her up. Josie was more than capable, and wanted to prove both to her friends and herself that she could contribute.

Kiara seemed to acknowledge the dilemma in the girl's eyes, but still shook her head in defiance.

"Let me do some calculations real quick," Pope suggested, taking out the map stuck in the cup-holder.

"You serious?" Kiara questioned John B, rolling her eyes and standing up to consider the circumstance. She looked over at Josie, who had moved up onto the bow beside her to peer down at the boat in the water as they listened to Pope.

"Okay, so that boat's about thirty feet down, right? So it'll take twenty-five minutes at most at that depth. Which means you need to make your safety stop at about...ten feet. Alright? For two minutes."

Kiara bent down to grab Josie's elbow, pulling her from her crouching position. She motioned her head at what Pope was saying, and tugged on the shirt the redhead was wearing. She then did a motion to mimic tying a knot and pointed down in the water.

Josie smiled gratefully at the girl, who had obviously considered Josie's desperation to prove herself useful in some capacity.

The brunette moved back as Josie unbuttoned and shimmied out of her shorts to dress down to her bathing suit, unaware of the show she was putting on for the boys and girl behind her. She lifted her shirt over her arms and, with a low high-five to Kie, jumped off the boat and into the water.

"What was all that about?" Pope looked at Kie, who just shrugged and smirked as she proudly stared down into the water. 

"I don't know, but I liked it. A lot." JJ stated, staring down at where his best friend had disappeared to in the water, clearly dazed at the sight he'd witnessed. All of them awkwardly shuffled and cleared their throats as they tried not to think about the show the redhead had accidentally given them.  

Under the water, Josie navigated her way down the anchor chain. She used her own feet to make an estimate of ten feet, swimming around and double checking that she was correct. She then tied her shirt to the chain like her friend had instructed. Once she was sure it was secure, she made her way back up out of the water.

She broke the surface, wiping the hair out of her face and taking her breath. She watched the pogues talking as she swam her way to the side of the boat. "Okay, B! I tied my T-shirt to the anchor chain about ten feet down. So when you get to it, make your safety stop."

"Cool, thank you." He shot her out to her, as she hummed and bobbed around in the water. She rolled her eyes but smiled and nodded at him good-naturedly.

She swam around in a circle as Pope debriefed him on any safety stuff he needed to watch out for. She noticed a smiling Kiara and a dazed looking JJ both staring at her in the water, and she sent them both a goofy grin in response.

Shortly after, she swam her way back over to the boat and grabbed both arms that JJ and Kiara reached towards her to pull her back in. "Thank you very much."

"Breathe as little as possible," Pope advised as she walked behind John B. She patted John B's back condescendingly; still thinking that she'd be the better fit but letting him go anyway.

"Zen. Think Zen, you know?" JJ offered as he imitated breathing through a mask. Josie laughed at the irony of it, considering the fact that John B was supposed to be breathing less.

"Yeah, got it."

"Hey, if we get caught out here in the marsh we're basically screwed, so...better get a move on." Pope advised, and Josie nodded up at the brunette. She dreaded to think about someone catching them out here.

"Copy that."

Much to Josie's overwhelming surprise, Kiara stepped up to stand in front of John B on the bow. She leaned in and placed a kiss on John B's cheek, causing Josie's eyes to widen and her chest to fill with all different types of emotions. The main one being overwhelming incredulity.

They had a code, a strict code. Josie couldn't fully tell if this was crossing the line of it, but it sure did feel like it. She thought she and Kiara had talked in detail enough about this rule that they had been on the same page with the boys. The rule that Josie held with utmost respect and seriousness.

No Pogue-on-Pogue Mackin'.

As she pulled away, a shocked John B's eyes flitted down to an equally shocked Josie. He desperately searched for some kind of humor to decrease the obvious tension.

"You want one, too?"

Maybe it was the slight bitterness that they had crossed a line over the rule, maybe it was the fact that she'd spent so long holding that rule to the forefront of her mind that she found it unfair that her friends could simply throw it away without seemingly a care, or maybe it was just Josie being dramatic.

Whatever it was, Josie took one step up the bow and planted one right on John B's cheek.

She immediately felt weird doing it, like she was encroaching on territory morally forbidden. It wasn't like she'd fully kissed him, but she'd felt as if she'd committed a serious crime. Like kissing her brother or kissing a dog.

She completely missed the scoff and sour look JJ was shooting the group, particularly Josie, as he watched the interaction. She instead rolled her eyes at the flabbergasted look on the brunette boy's face.  

"Diver down?" He directed to Kiara, and Josie stepped down from the bow.

"Diver down," Kiara confirmed, following her female friend to step down as John B pulled the mask over his face. The girls avoided eye contact with each other as she did so, neither one completely sure why that had just happened.

Josie passed by a huffing JJ and confused looking Pope as she made her way towards the back of the boat.

John B jumped from the boat, fully decked out in scuba gear. Once he rose, he gave them a two-finger salute and then fully submerged himself under the water. They all bid their goodbyes, and watched his shadow blend into the murky water the further he went down.

Pope went to sit by Josie, and he raised his eyebrows at her as he settled in on her right. Josie, who'd been picking at her cuticles, was trying to look anywhere but at the group.

The guilt that her own internal debates were causing tension between her and her friends ate at her. The annoyance at the obvious grudge JJ was holding against her after seeing her with Max, the frustration at the fact that she was letting her insecurities ruin her day out with the pogues, and the vexation at how much Kiara and John B's interaction had gotten to her.

She'd kissed all the boys and Kiara on their cheeks multiple times, most of the time through obnoxious laughter and smiles, and other times when saying goodbye. So, it shouldn't have been a big deal.

But it was the way they'd looked at each other, the way Kiara seemed ready to throw the rule right off the boat, that really stung.

Because if one of them threw the rule out the window, then what was even the point anymore?

Josie didn't realize that she'd never really considered what would happen if any of them had decided to get together, despite the boys' jokes about it. She had always considered it to be a passing thought, and out of the question for how unreasonable it was.

Pope's hand nudged her shoulder, and she turned to meet the curiosity in his gaze. "Y'know, for being probably the biggest advocate I know for the sacrosanctity of the rule, you sure were fast on the swoop there."

Josie shoved him with her shoulder, ignoring the looks JJ was throwing the both of them over his shoulder. It was obvious he was listening to the conversation.

"Please, I've kissed all of you on the cheek plenty of times, John B doesn't need to flatter himself." She tried to play off how much it affected her.

Pope laughed and threw his arm around her shoulder. "Well, I'm telling you right now. I love you, but if you try to kiss me, I'm pushing you in the water. No hesitation."

She didn't know if he could tell she needed the laugh, but Josie threw her head back in a cackle as he spoke to her. She held her hand to her chest and pretended to be offended, scoffing and trying to catch her breath. She smiled at the fact that Pope had also seemed to find his statement quite funny.

She was smiling appreciatively at him when his eyes fell behind her.

His eyes widened as he made out what was coming towards them, and he sat up straight. "Shit, JJ."

Josie turned in sync with the blonde, and her eyes widened as she caught sight of the police boat headed straight for them.

"Guys, that's the police."

Pope and Josie stood, the redhead ducking as she shoved past him and towards the side of the boat. She looked down at the water, whipping her head back at her friends. "I'm going in."

"What? No!" Kie stated, briskly walking towards her and grabbing her elbow to stop her. Josie looked at her with wide, panicked eyes, shaking her head vigorously.

"Kiara, I cannot be caught out here, especially with all of you." She glanced back at the steadily approaching boat. She turned to JJ, the fear of being caught evident in her eyes. "I'm serious, JayJ. He gave us a warning last time, but I can't put it past him to tell my mom. I gotta go down."

She pleaded with JJ, silently begging him to back her up enough for her to climb over the side. The setting sun was guarding them enough to where their faces were masked from a distance, but only for so long. As soon as the boat got too close, it'd be too late for her to make her escape.

The internal debate shone in his eyes; the overprotective part of him demanding that he not let her off that boat versus the part of him that respected and trusted her enough to make her own decisions, no matter how stupid he found them to be. The same part that Josie had so graciously extended towards his choices more than once.

She could tell when he'd made his decision, lips pressed in a thin line as he shuffled over and gently removed Kiara's hand from her elbow and nodded. "Fine, but if it gets too much you come right back up. We'll think of somethin', but don't let yourself drown, 'kay?"

Josie was already climbing over as she sent him a curt nod. The three bodies surrounding her blocked the approaching boat's view, so she figured it was her best option. She dropped off into the water, slinking up against the boat to wait for a signal to sink down. The other three settled around on the boat, Kiara's voice ringing out over the water.

"Just act frickin' normal."

She listened as the siren sounded, incredibly closer than what she'd perceived a few moments prior. The boat rocked against her back, a clear indication that the police vessel had come to a stop beside them.

"Evening, officers." She listened to Pope call out, and she could easily pick out the nervous quiver of his voice.

"Evening," her uncle's voice rang out. Josie squeezed her eyes shut, desperately pleading that he didn't see her or inquire too much about where she was.   

Pope instructed JJ to tie the police vessel's rope down, and Josie got ready to push herself straight down. She watched the shadow of her uncle spread out along the water and waited to see if they'd board the boat. 

"How you kids doing? You know the marsh is closed today?" When she glanced up, she caught sight of JJ on the edge of the boat right above her, obviously trying to cover any suspicions her uncle might have.

The pogues all denied knowing anything about it, surprised lilts to all of their tones; no, really, I didn't know. "Why-why is it closed?"    

"Well, we're conducting a search out here. Boat went down."

The boys both let out surprised noises; oh, oh wow, and looked out at the water in faux confusion. Josie glanced up to make fleeting eye contact with JJ as he winked down at her.

"You seen anything?" Her uncle asked, and Josie silently huffed at his condescending tone. She never liked the way any of the police, or authority in general, talked in that tone of voice specifically to people from the Cut.

The boys denied once again, and Josie glanced over to vaguely make out Kie staring worriedly at her. The redhead knew she risked being caught by wading in the water this long. But Josie wanted to be as careful as possible, and only go under when it became absolutely necessary.

The problem was, she'd have to make her way down pretty fast to get out of eyesight.

"Where's your friend you always hang with? He here? And Josephine," he pointed over to Kiara. "Thought she told her mama she was with you today?"

"He's working," Kie stated, shrugging her shoulders. "And I dropped Jose off at the docks before we all met up. She's with Max."

Josie silently praised Kiara's sneaky genius, silently reminding herself to shower Kie in gratitude later. If there was one person she could count on to come up with a cover story, it was the Carrera girl.

There was a beat of silence, and Josie stilled, wide eyed as she worried they'd been caught. She waited for her uncle to call her name, to say that he'd seen her jump over and that he was taking her home to speak with her mother.

She was counting down the seconds until her doom when the boat slightly tilted backwards, signaling that her uncle had grabbed something to hold onto as he climbed aboard. And without listening to what he'd begun to say, Josie silently took in her slow inhale and submerged herself.

Thump, thumpthump, thump, thump, thumpthump

She knew she had to hurry, but still let herself lower slowly so as to not exert too much energy and need for air. She made her way down and under the boat for cover. She tried to listen carefully to the muffled voices as she made her way as far up against the boat as she could, whilst still trying to relax and clear her mind.

She slowly moved around under the boat, keeping herself focused as she listened to her heartbeat in her ears.

Thump, thumpthump, thump, thump, thumpthump 

She stopped when she made out John B at the anchor tie, holding onto it as he looked up at her and the boat. She slowly pointed upwards, before pushing a finger to her lips. He nodded in understanding and looked up to watch the figures move above the surface.

Thump, thumpthump, thump, thump, thumpthump

She focused on counting her beats, closing her eyes as she tried to find her most relaxed state of mind. She wasn't underwater, she was at the Chateau. She was swinging in a hammock, watching the seagulls fly in and out of the water and occasionally taking a photo.

Her friends surrounded her, their laughter ringing through the air like musical melodies flowing from a guitar. Her side was flush against JJ's as they passed a blunt between one-another, and Pope was at the other end as they discussed the relevance of FDR as a president. John B and Kiara shared the other, also sharing a blunt and laughing at the animated argument their friends were having.

Josie would look over at JJ's piercing blue eyes every so often, and he would chime in with a passionate "yeah" or "you're full of shit" at her signal. Pope would scoff in annoyance, no one ever backing him up as much as those two teamed up with each other.

Everything was peaceful. Everything was serene.

Josie desperately tried not to think about the buildup of CO2 that she could start to feel in her lungs. It traveled up her throat and towards her brain, and she could feel the effects of lightheadedness stinging behind her eyes. She felt the urge to cough and gasp for air but held it down best she could as she listened to the muffled voices above her.

She opened her eyes to see John B panicking, looking down at his meter and looking up at the surface. He held a bag in his hands, a sign that he'd definitely found something in the boat.

But Josie couldn't fully celebrate the find before her eyes widened, suddenly remembering that her friend's life was in danger.

She began to move towards him, but he violently shook his head and pointed a finger up towards the surface. Fearful, Josie sank back to her previous position, and was now starting to feel the effect of a full five minutes underwater.

His alarm beeped again, and she panicked. Screw it.

She swam towards him, grabbing at the bag in his hand and looking at the beeping alarm in his other. She looked at him and tried to ask if he was okay, to which he nodded his head reassuringly. She looked back up, and pointed to the surface to ask if they should pop back up.

Before he could answer her, the sound of a boat starting back up caught their attention. The Pogue rocked a little as the bottom of the police vessel peeled away from the side of it. And with the confirmation that they hadn't been found out, both teens then made their way upwards towards their friends.

Josie let out a loud gasp as she broke the surface, coughing out the CO2 that had built in her lungs. She whipped her head to the side to see her friend resurfacing at the same time, mask still adorned on his face, as she felt him take the bag back from her hands.

"You dumbass! I can't believe you're not fucking dead! That's another life down the drain, and you don't have many more!" She splashed some water at the boy beside her and tried to catch her breath. Despite the joke, Josie felt immense relief at her friend's ability to avoid imminent death.

Sighs of relief rang from everyone on the boat as the duo revealed that they were okay. They all laughed in solace that both teens hadn't drowned. "Don't scare us like that!"

"Jose, you good?" Kie called, concern for her friend evident despite the smiling nature of the redhead. Josie smiled, pushing her arms out to swim backwards as she laughed out in amazement.

"Never better, Kie."

"How'd it go down there?" JJ questioned, and John B held out an okay sign with his hand. They both began making their way towards the back ladder, as the boy followed them down the boat. "Did you find anything?"

"Did I find anything?" John B laughed in disbelief and took off the scuba mask, throwing the bag in his hand up towards JJ's extended hand. The boy immediately cheered.

"Yeah, there we go! That's my boy!"

JJ flung the bag on the chair beside him as John B motioned for Josie to climb up first. The blond then grabbed her elbow as she climbed and helped her up and into the boat.

As soon as she was flat on her feet, Pope pulled Josie into an embrace. She gladly accepted, laughing as he pulled away frantically to look at her. "How could someone so smart be so goddamn stupid, dude?"

She could only shrug in response.

"You okay?" Kie called to John B, and Josie turned to grin down at the boy still swaying in the water. She could feel the aftershocks of an adrenaline rush setting in, her heartbeat pumping as it tried to catch up with the steady airflow moving through her lungs. She felt a little bit excited thinking about the rush her gasp of air gave her, a stark difference to actually being down there.

"Yeah, I ran out of air."

Josie chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief. "I was convinced Johnny-Nine-Lives over there was gonna pass out, and I was going to have to carry him back up."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, RJ." John B joked as he climbed up the ladder. She reached out for his hand, grasping it and helping him into the boat.

"You both scared the shit out of me." Kie complained, looking at the both of them full of relief. Josie smiled sympathetically and pulled her friend into a side hug. Kie reciprocated and wrapped her arm around Josie's shoulders, leaning the side of her head against Josie's for comfort.

"Yeah, the cops were up here, but, uh...took care of 'em." Pope relayed, and Josie smirked at the tell of adrenaline running through Pope's voice. He may never admit it, but he too craved chaos every once-in-a-while.

"My bad," John B apologized, grin wide across his face.

"You're all good."

"Yeah, you kinda missed the show guys." JJ revealed, and Josie rolled her eyes and smiled back at the giddy boy as they watched John B remove the scuba gear. It couldn't have been much of a show, and it was definitely one she didn't mind missing anyways.

"You guys? Guys, bogey, two o'clock." Kiara warned, and all of them turned to where she was looking.

"What?"

They watched as a very expensive-looking speedboat made its way towards them, albeit not directly at them. Josie swore she'd never seen that boat in her entire life, and because of the setting sun, she couldn't make out if the people looked familiar. She squinted and placed a hand over her eyes to try and get a better look, but still couldn't gather much.

"Do you recognize that boat?" Pope asked, voicing Josie's own thoughts at the sight of the unfamiliar boat. It was even weirder that it was out on the marsh when it was closed.

"I've never seen it," Josie shrugged, speaking in turn for the Figure 8 side of the island. She hadn't seen the boat around their side, she was confident she'd remember something like that. She continued squinting to try and see if she could make out any familiarity in the figures.

"What are they doing back here? The marsh is closed." Kie accused, and Josie nodded in agreement.

The pogues were out there because they were doing sketchy, illegal shit. So the probability was that that boat was also out there doing sketchy, illegal shit.

"I don't know, but let's not stick around and find out." Josie hummed at John B's statement, glaring out at the approaching boat. She had a thought as John B spoke, and immediately went in search of her bag.

"JJ, get the bowline."

"Yeah," JJ agreed, slowly raising the line as they all began to use steady movements. The boat was fast approaching.

Josie dug the camera out from her bag, pushing to stand right behind John B and zoom in over his shoulder at the boat. It's not like any of them had binoculars, and this was a sure-fire way to see if they could recognize the people driving the boat.

"Should we wait on 'em?" Pope directed towards John B, who quickly shut him down in a soft, stern voice.

"No, we're not gonna wait on 'em." He patted Pope gently on the shoulder. "Go get the stern. Go!"

"Are you joking?" Kie incredulously directed the question at Pope's prior inquiry, the worry clear in her tone as they watched the boat. She looked over at the blond boy who continued raising the bowline.

"JJ, hurry up."

"Guys, don't wait for me. Go!" JJ demanded as they watched him pull the line up, and John B moved to start up the boat as Pope got the stern up.

"You see anything, Jose?" John B turned towards her and watched as she used the lens to zoom in on the boat ahead of them. She could make out the features of both men vaguely and made a hasty decision to shutter a quick picture of the two of them.

She brought the camera down from her face, looking at John B and shaking her head. "I've never seen those guys before in my life. I don't think they're locals."

"I don't like the look of this. Are they coming for us?" John B hesitantly asked, his eyes never leaving the incoming boat.

Josie moved a bit further towards JJ as she continued to cautiously stare at the strangers. If something were to happen, she wanted to be able to pull him down from the front of the boat.

John B started slowly moving the boat as they continued to watch.

"Maybe they're fishing for drum too," Pope reasoned. But Josie shook her head back at him as she saw the clear path the boat was now set on.

"Go, go, go, go!" JJ rushed as Josie pulled him down into the cockpit and gripped his hand in her right one. He guided the both of them to squeeze in between the wheel and the side of the boat.

They all tried to keep their voices low, not wanting them to travel across the water and out to the boat.

"Go into the marsh," Pope instructed, and John B made a sharp right turn into the thick of the marsh. Josie pulled the camera back up to her face with her left hand, once again looking at the faces of the men that were newly set in focus.

JJ quickly pushed her arm back down, "no, don't let 'em see you."

The pogues all rushed John B, who was slowly navigating as he turned into the marsh.

"Act natural, act natural," Pope commanded, and Josie would've laughed at his tone if it weren't for the scary men in the boat approaching them.

She watched the boat behind them speed up, following as they fully maneuvered into the marsh. As she stood on the tips of her toes to look over JJ towards the back of the boat, she quickly realized that the unfamiliar boat had made a last-minute decision to follow them.

"Hey, guys. They're following us," Kiara called as she continuously looked over her shoulder at the looming vessel.

"This can't be good," Pope let out against John B's shit.

Josie gripped JJ's hand tighter, and she thought about what they could've wanted with them. If they were out there for the boat, and they figured that the pogues had also been out there for it, who knows what lengths they were willing to go to for whatever was in that bag.

"Dude, you gotta go faster! Gun it!" JJ urged John B.

"I'm going, I'm going!" The brunette began to pick up speed, worry evident as he navigated through the marsh with dread sinking into his bones.

It was obvious when they picked up top speed that the boat was chasing after them, and Josie couldn't help but panic. Was the bag really worth it?

John B made as many turns and swerves as possible, desperately trying to lose them in the marsh. Josie went to pick the camera back up to get a good look at them again, when she heard the bang.

All the pogues immediately ducked, JJ letting out a startled "what the?" He harshly pulled at Josie's hand to follow him down.

Kie let out a cursed cry, and they turned to look back at the boat in horror.

In the startle of the gunshot, Josie's camera dropped from her hands. And in JJ's frazzled attempt to pull her down by their connected hands, her other arm had flown out to hover over the side of the boat.

Meaning Josie's camera now belonged to the marsh.

"No!" Josie cried, letting go of JJ's hand and leaning over the side of the boat to stare down at the passing water. She couldn't believe that this had happened, that this is what the day had turned into. One of her most prized possessions, next to her signed picture of Kathleen Kenyon, now sinking to the bottom of the marsh.

Her life's work once again fell victim to the water. Maybe she wasn't as good in the water as she thought. 

"John B, Jose, get down!" JJ exclaimed as he urgently tugged Josie's arm to get her to bend down. She couldn't help but stare down alongside the boat, before eventually complying with JJ's repeated actions and bending down in front of the steering station. As she did so, another shot rang out.

"Oh my god, we're gonna die." Pope cried out, curling further into the floor to stay out of bullet range.

Josie began to look around the boat, trying to grasp her thoughts and figure out a way to slow the boat down long enough for John B to speed out of eyesight. She shuffled along the front in a crawl, hands splaying out frantically as she tried to think.

"Josie Grey, I swear if you get shot, I'm gonna kill you," JJ hissed as he watched her scramble around. He tried to reach for her ankle to pull her back towards the side of the boat with him, but she kicked his wandering hand away.

Another shot rang out, and Pope began hyperventilating at the notion of death becoming imminent. Josie hissed out a curse, and she tried to think of something fast that could get them to stop. John B could only weave through the marsh for so long.

"Aha!" Her hand ran along a floater fishing-net, and she pulled it out from under the tarp hiding it. She knew from experience that a fishing net could stop an in-motion jet ski, and she figured it didn't hurt to try.

It was the same concept, right? Net gets sucked into the impeller and stalls the engine. Simple enough.

"Kie! Do you remember eighth grade? Your dad's ski?" Josie shouted, holding the net in her hands as she turned to look at the girl. She raised the net towards her, and with just a look, Kiara understood exactly what Josie wanted.

Because she had been the passenger on that jet ski.

Kiara and Josie made their way to meet in the middle, when another bang let out around them. They both gasped in terror but were grateful that they seemed to be terrible shots.

"Get down, guys!" John B advised, but Josie ignored him as she moved forward and shoved the net into Kiara's hands. She hastily pushed at the other girl's shoulders, urging her to turn and make her steps towards the back of the boat. "Go, Go!"

Josie turned to John B as Kie maneuvered to the back. "Make a sharp turn, asap."

He nodded and abruptly steered the Pogue to a harsh right. As he did so, Kiara flung the net behind them and directly into the path of the other boat.

The redhead crouched down as another two shots rang out, and she watched the boat behind them approach the net. She crossed her fingers, praying that it would hit the propellers like planned.

The boat skidded as it moved over the net, bringing the men to a halt as it caught the trap. The pogues all stared as the boat completely stopped and John B kept moving, speeding around a corner as a last gun shot fired at them.

But they were out of sight, and out of gunshot range. They'd made it. They were alive.

They all looked around at one another, now standing due to the lack of immediate threat. And they couldn't help the chuckles of relief that fell out of their mouths.

"Oh my god! Whoo!" JJ cheered, looking back behind them in disbelief as he celebrated their state of living. Josie chuckled, watching the light burn back into his eyes.

"Booyeah! Pogue life, man! See you guys!" JJ waved behind them, even though the guys obviously couldn't see them.

"That was insane! You're a fucking genius, Grey!" Kie breathed out, marching to pull her best friend into the tightest embrace possible. Josie reciprocated, wrapping her arms under Kiara's and squeezing her tightly.

They were alive, but her dearest camera wasn't.

"I can't believe we're alive. What would we do without the girls?" Pope questioned in shock as JJ continued to cheer, standing at the front of his boat and raising his fists.

"We're not all alive," Josie mumbled, pulling away from Kie and looking at them mournfully. She looked out into the Marsh, dramatically displaying her grief.

"Looks like we're planning another funeral," John B's voice was laced with fake-solemn, and he reached to rub her shoulder.

Pope shook his head and groaned, leaning down to sit and calm his breathing. "No way. Last time I got roped into making a speech."

"It was a very beautiful speech," Josie concurred, and Kiara nodded in agreement. She thought back to the year prior when they'd all gathered in John B's backyard. Josie and Kiara had made everyone dress up in black tie attire and everything.

"It was for a camera."

Josie stayed silent, thinking about what she was going to tell her mother now that her three-thousand-dollar camera was sitting in the bottom of the marsh. She shuddered at the mere image of her mother's face.

The sun had set past the skyline fully by the time they'd made it back to the Chateau. They all had agreed that they'd wait to open the bag until they got there, and all five of them were getting quite desperate to see what they'd almost died for.

All of them excitedly jumped off the boat and onto the dock in record speed, JJ haphazardly tying down the boat before following them to the covered pier. John B sat the bag down in the center, kneeling down to open it as they all gathered around him.

"What do you guys think it is?" Kie asked, watching as they all approached excitedly.

"Gotta be money or somethin', right?" John B asked, and Josie shrugged in agreement.

"If it's worth getting almost killed for, it's gotta be something like jewels or cash or something."

"That or a couple of keys with street value to the low-to mid-mils, man!" Josie preened at the excited tilt of JJ's voice, grin widening when she saw the creases forming next to his eyes.

"Can we please just open the bag?" Pope exclaimed, causing everyone to look at him in bewilderment. Josie huffed out a laugh, impressed and confused by her friend's unnatural exuberance of positive emotion.

"Wow, Pope. That's a rare outburst of emotion." They all let out sounds of respect and surprise at their friend, teasing him to no end.

"Okay. You guys are literally killing me with anticipation, so open the bag."

He bent down to look at John B, and Josie slung her arm around his shoulder, and she leaned down with him, gently shaking him in their shared excitement. "We almost died over this. Bartholomew did die over this."     

Josie smiled at her best friend sadly, thanking him for thinking of her loss.

"I thought you named it Francis?" JJ butted in, looking at the both of them confused.

"She did, but then she changed it when she read The Devil's Captain," Pope explained, and Josie looked at the both of them, baffled that either of them had remembered that.

John B stood and pulled a cylindrical, aluminum canister from the bag. Josie chuckled as he struggled to get the top off, and bit her lip to not make any quips about doing it for him. He twisted the top off, and everyone leaned in to get a good look when he pulled it out.

He turned and dumped whatever it was in his hand, and Josie stared in disbelief.

It was a compass.

Don't get her wrong, Josie was a full-blown slut for antiques. Every piece of furniture, almost every article of clothing, every decoration in her room was second-hand or vintage of some kind. Whenever they went to the mainland, and even of the business around town, Josie frequented antique sections and thrift stores like they were her second home. It was the lover of history in her, and her admiration for all things that moved and survived through time, seeing the passage of time that people never truly could experience. All of this much to her mother's chagrin.

All that to be said, Josie was the first person to appreciate an old, timeless relic.

But they'd quite literally almost died.

"Oh, wow. Yup. That's about right. Good job, everybody. We found a compass." Pope removed himself from Josie, turning in disbelief as he raised his hands to his head. The other pogues stared in dismay and shock.

JJ removed his hat, a clear sign to Josie that he was really fucking disappointed. John B stood completely still, stare not wavering from the compass in his hand. JJ looked at him confused. "Dude, what? It's not worth anything."

In a soft, tender voice, John B spoke through a tone of pure incredulity.

"This was my father's."

⋄ ⋟⋆ june 19, 2020

sometimes I think whatever overarching being that observes as I live and die looks at me with bearing teeth and a cruel heart. and other times, I remind myself that the pangs of hurt in my soul are fully of my own doing. no hands can scar your heart like your own. I often find myself sinking into my innermost turmoils, and letting them control how I behave. god rest the souls of my loved ones, who stand with open arms and open hearts as I bare my cruelness towards them. but I know it is how I was made. to take every single word sung in my direction and insert it into my veins like an addict yearning for another hit. I crave love, I crave acceptance, I crave companionship. there is a reason I bear resemblance to my mother. as I sat under her boot begging for her to accept me, she kicked me away only to pick me up and kiss me on the head. but for all the faults my mother gave me, I am also my fathers daughter. and I would swallow myself whole before giving up my aches and pains. I will carry them with me like the scars from childhood on my body. and they will consume me, as they always have.

- josephine grey ⋄ ⋟⋆

#the outer banks #outer banks #obx #outer banks fanfiction #obx fanfiction #jj obx #jj obx fic #obx fic #jj maybank fic #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank #jj maybank x oc #john b routledge #kiara carrera #bisexual!kiara #pope heyward #sarah cameron #rafe cameron #josephine grey #josie grey #invisible string #gold rush

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Has anyone ever suggested Hey Jealousy by the Gin Blossoms for the Johnlock playlist? It's a good one to imagine from John's perspective!

[Verse 1] Well, tell me, do you think it'd be all right If I could just crash here tonight? You can see I'm in no shape for driving And anyway, I've got no place to go And you know, it might not be that bad You were the best I'd ever had If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago I may not be alone

[Chorus] Tomorrow we can drive around this town And let the cops chase us around The past is gone, but something might be found To take its place Hey jealousy Hey jealousy Hey jealousy Hey jealousy

[Verse 2] You can trust me not to think And not to sleep around And if you don't expect too much from me You might not be let down 'Cause all I really want is to be with you Feeling like I matter too If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago I might be here with you

[Chorus] Tomorrow we can drive around this town And let the cops chase us around The past is gone, but something might be found To take its place Hey jealousy

[Instrumental Break]

[Chorus] Tomorrow we can drive around this town And let the cops chase us around The past is gone, but something might be found To take its place Hey jealousy Hey jealousy Hey jealousy Hey jealousy

[Verse 1] Well, tell me if you think it'd be all right If I could just crash here tonight You can see I'm in no shape for driving And anyway, I've got no place to go And you know it might not be that bad You were the best I'd ever had If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago I might not be alone

[Chorus] Tomorrow we can drive around this town And let the cops chase us around The past is gone, but something might be found To take its place Hey jealousy

[Outro] Hey jealousy She took my heart Well, there's only one thing that I couldn't start

[Lyrics from Genius.com]

Hey Nonny!

OOOOOOOOO NICE CLASSIC ROCK, beautiful! The older tunes always hit different for me, especially the ones I listened to on the radio growing up, hahah <3 

That said, yeah, I totally see it!! Thank you so much for adding it to the playlist!! LOVE IT!

🎶 LISTEN TO THE JOHNLOCK PLAYLIST ON [SPOTIFY] & [YOUTUBE] 🎶

#steph replies #johnlock playlist #artist gin blossoms #song hey jealousy

[tarlos-spain]

I always find you

Title: A always find you

Pairing: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand

Characters: Carlos Reyes, TK Strand, Gabriel Reyes, Andrea Reyes, Owen Strand, 126 family

Summary: TK believed that his life would be perfect forever. His marriage to Carlos is almost perfect, they have three wonderful children, Carlos has made detective... everything is perfect, until the darkest part of TK's past comes back to torture him. Someone has taken Carlos, someone is sending him videos that TK will take a long time to forget.

Acknowledgments: Thanks so much to the people that have helped me to create this story. @lire-casander, for being there and helping me with the story, @morganaspendragonss the best beta reader and @chaotictarlos for these incredible edits.

Warnings: Hurt Carlos, Hurt TK, Kidnapped Carlos, Sick TK, Tortured Carlos, Drugged Carlos, Protective TK, Hospital

Chapter 01

"I'll be there in five minutes." TK said to Carlos over the phone, as he saw the uber finally arrive.

He looked at his watch, it was late. The cab was never late; just the day they were going to have dinner with their parents to start preparing the school holidays and the damn cab was late.

Add to that the fact that Carlos never left the police station on time because he was a damn perfectionist and had to close any open cases before he went home.

They were going to be late and the consequences of leaving their parents talking alone could be terrible for the next three months.

"I'm just finishing up some paperwork, but I'll be ready when you arrive."

"I know that's not going to happen, so remember we're booked at 8. My dad will be there at 7:45 and your parents will probably arrive earlier. We'd better avoid them having too much time to talk about the kid's holidays, or when we get there they'll have it all set up and we won't be able to say two words about it."

"Don't worry, tiger. I'm sure they'll behave themselves."

"I'm not so sure but I trust you. I'll get in the cab and see you soon. Be on time please," TK repeated again as he watched the cab park in front of him.

As the vehicle stopped, TK saw that the cab driver was someone different from the usual driver and that made him hesitate for a moment.

"I'm sorry Terry is at home with Julie. Did he tell you about Julie, his five year old?"

TK nodded. The usual cabbie, Terry, usually talked about his family a lot and sometimes it seemed like TK had known them forever, even though he had never met them before.

"Oh wow, I hope it's nothing serious."

"Nah, a little gastroenteritis; you know how kids are. But he's asked me to take you home. He'll give you 10% off for your trouble."

"No, really, it's been no bother at all. But I'm used to Terry and well...my partner's a cop, I guess it makes me overthink things.

He looked at the clock, it was getting late and if he counted the time it would take Carlos to finish and leave the police station, they could still make it to the restaurant in time.

Unlike Terry who kept talking, their driver for the day, John, was a quiet guy, who only cared about the drive and getting him to his destination.

He parked in the police station parking lot. TK looked at the time, he was going to give Carlos five more minutes before literally telling him to get his ass off his desk. But he was so nervous that he decided to relax for a moment, close his eyes, and rest his head on the cab seat.

A noise made him open his eyes and it almost seemed normal to find the barrel of a gun pointed at his face. But that didn't take away the fear that John behind the gun might shoot.

"What's this all about?" TK asked, trying to sound calm.

"You'll find out in a few minutes; don't worry. All you have to do now is stay here quietly with me and don't make a fuss."

"You expect me to sit here quietly while you point your gun at me and not ask for help?"

"I know what you're going to do, if you don't want us to hurt your boyfriend."

There were few things that really made TK nervous, but someone endangering Carlos was his weakest point.

"Who are you?"

"Too bad you don't remember me and my boys."

Two men opened the back doors of the car. One grabbed TK and no matter how hard he tried to scramble he couldn't get him off him, even less so when he wrapped an arm around his neck and squeezed him to stop him from moving. The other pinned his legs against the seat and grabbed his cell phone from his pocket.

"Let's go tell your husband we're waiting. We're late for the wonderful family dinner."

"Leave Carlos alone! Leave him alone!" TK protested as they dragged him out of the car, pulling him out and leaving him lying on the ground, in between the occasional, totally unnecessary blow or two.

"He's coming."

"Great." John said. "Get into position."

"Carlos!" TK shouted, hoping his husband would hear him before he got there, that he could do something, that he'd be ready.

Keep reading AO3

#911 ls #tarlos #lonestar #911 #9 1 1 lone star #9-1-1 lone star #carlos reyes #tk strand #911 lone star #Tarlos #Hurt Carlos #Hurt TK #Kidnapped Carlos #Sick TK #Tortured Carlos #Drugged Carlos #Family #Kids #Protective TK #Hospital

[countrylessman]

my posts seem to get a lot of attention lately so imma just throw this in here

i don't know if anyone will be interested in reading this, but, i present to you -

my headcanons about tanner:

actually, the songs that you hear in d:sf soundtrack are tanner's favourite songs, he just remembers them while in coma

he's a pretty hot-tempered and emotional guy. he can shout at someone because he's in a bad mood or whatever, but he tries to control himself around people he trusts

tanner is just emotionally burnt out from everything, really

his self-control is pretty bad when he's drunk. i mean, when he's drunk he talks about some funny nonsense and rants about random people he doesn't like for whatever reason. it's kinda funny, but it's a good thing he doesn't get drunk a lot

he had a wife (that one is kinda canon? i mean the devs wanted to add tanner's ex-wife into the storyline) but they divorced because 1) they had different life views 2) she eventually got tired of tanner overworking himself and diving more and more into the job routine

aaand speaking of overworking. because of that, tanner usually falls asleep right behind the desk, while working on important reports (that one is canon, yes). if this happens, jones covers him with a jacket/whatever, puts the super important papers away and just lets him rest

jones is also pretty much the only person he trusts

he often has same dreams that he had while being in coma, like cop chases in san francisco, doing crazy stunts and etc. if he doesn't have those dreams, he has nightmares, in which crows and broken glass appear quite a lot, instead

and he talks in his sleep a lot. in fact, john can keep a normal conversation while literally sleeping

john has a lot of scars, especially gunshot scars

he really loves his car and calls it «his pride and joy»

stability relaxes tanner. that's all he wants from life. stability and rest. and i bet you would want that too if you were him

will there be my hcs about jones? or tanner hcs pt. 2? yeah probably. i still hyperfixate on this game, y'know

#driver san francisco #driver: san francisco #john tanner #d:sf #driver

[violetsystems]

Bloodstained is pretty bad ass. Especially if you are a symphony of the night / aria of sorrow kind of person. That should be a personality test. Midnight Pulp has a poorly subtitled version of Sailor Suit and Machine Gun I started watching. As in the subtitles are only there for the first five minutes and make no sense. Similar in respect to Happiness of the Katakuris which I'm surprised hasn't been subbed by now. Delinquent school girl that is apparently a distance relative to a yakuza boss who dies gets wrapped in the underworld and dipped in concrete from a construction crane. MXC vibes on that scene. It's worth watching for the cinematography. It plays like Cops Versus Thugs meets the beginning of House. I like that era of Yakuza film because there was a lot of complex stuff going on politically. So without the subtitles the plot gets lost in really experimental shots mixed in with a really difficult lead character. It has a really amazing vibe to it if you are into Japan from that era. Especially the fashion. Ooh Kosh denim jumpsuits aside. But then again I liked Switchblade Sisters so don't trust my judgement on anything. Just hard to parse what exactly is going on and who is killing who. The one thing I've learned about the Japanese mafia back then is that it isn't much different from America. Lots of property and construction fraud. I grew up in a suburb and a subdivision like that. Mortgage and loan racketeering. The most modern Korean film I've seen that explores that is Nameless Gangster which is also on Midnight Pulp. You can thank the Samsung Channel for helping me discover that because it's right next to the anime channels in the lineup. Also saw the Roundup recently. Ma Dong Seok is in both of those playing very different characters. Probably one of my favorite comfort ensemble actors in Korean cinema. It is interesting taking gangster films from Asia and comparing them to the plots going on around me. Infernal Affairs worked well in that respect. Although I'm not the biggest fan of the Departed. I guess the point is that gangsters in both cultures believe they are doing well by breaking the law. Same with police. Cops Versus Thugs expresses this a lot in Japan at the time with how the police were working with the Yakuza to fight communism. But in the end, it's the people who die and suffer on and off screen. I don't know how Castelvania fits into all of this. Maybe there's an underwritten loan on Dracula's castle. A blood tax if you will. Don't get me started about goths and communism. Call that a “downward spiral.” Swedish House Mafia version of your seminal Japanese gangster film scored by Peter Bjorn and John. Call that the Lutheran brotherhood. Cue the drumroll. 🌀

#Youtube #I never noticed the drummer is wearing a hulk shirt #but yeah

[aalhmk-blog]

I had this Erika Ransom we've been together for 2 years I really love her more than she'll ever know or realize all she's done ever since we've been together is have nothing nice to say hurtful words all the time and if I would say something wrong she would hang up and play the ignore me game for however long till she's done decided I'm coming back around every 3 months for 2 years so she was asking me about the house she lives in can't let the house go don't know why taking your sweet time moving out so in the meantime just recently just before the deadline of the last week she has to be out she calls me in the middle of the night yelling screaming and crying tell me how sorry she is for hurting me the way she has 3 weeks later what did she do she does it again even worse and get this little stupid John Deere letter from her saying I'm leaving you cuz I'm going to live on the street so I can see what it's like being homeless maybe it'll help it grow temporarily on the streets that's what I get for being nice to someone she had everything that she ever could have had never happy with nothing nothing I am a good person you know she did was sit there on my couch looking at me judging finding everything she didn't like about me to use against me to do this won't speak to me want nothing she calls the cops all the time I trusted her I have a home I have a swimming pool have a nice backyard I know how to build things with my hands like sheds chicken pants I've done nothing to her for this I just don't understand why anybody want to break somebody's heart and hurt them so badly like this all the f****** time she does this she acts like she's the only one that's got feelings and it's all about her everything always all about her Mary f****** Christmas b**** never own up to her own s*** like she's better than everybody else I'm narcissist introvert is what she is what a joke what a f***** up f****** joke I am so sick of b******* Lying Game playing people that think they can come around and use me for their own convenience Diamondback is s*** down my neck well I'm from California I live in Northern California near Sacramento any single lesbians nearby want to go out on date now that I'm single her loss not mine I am a good person I'm trusting I'm loving up caring I'm giving I'm honest I love nature I'm somewhat outgoing hard to laugh and have fun I'm respectful I communicate an easygoing easy to get along with all I want is to love and be loved and be together with someone you can love me back who can respect me back you can communicate treat me right the way I should be treated for a lifetime it's not asking for much I don't think is it

#hear from u bc ur u. And not bc u can do smth or validate them or give them an answer or lie and say ur doing great so we can quickly move