#To say it once again

[laniemae]

I am going to take a break from milgramblr

[important please read]

ok now how do I start. Im going to take a break from tumblr for about a week. Things have been absolutely awful for me here since the very beginning of 2024, even if it may not look that way at times.

to retell the situation it happened with the new years gartic phone game, where someone made a prompt about a ship that made me heavily uncomfortable. To put it loosely it reminded me of an extremely bad experience with a fandom a few years ago when I called out a ship for being creepy and having a huge age gap but I was constantly dogpiled and harassed. It was probably the worst experience I’ve had on the internet and to this day I get really scared of people hating on me and I apologise for everything likely stemming back from the situation.

I tried to persist with the game but I got really upset and left. I expressed on my blog how uncomfortable I felt about the whole situation. Then this one person, who’s a prominent figure in the Milgramblr community, I won’t name them but I think you’ll know who, replied on my post saying that “it’s ok because…” in such an awful tone. It’s hard to explain but basically it felt really bad as they completely dismissed my feelings about the situation just to justify their creepy ship. And even worse, they way they responded was EXACTLY the same way that everyone else responded back in to at old fandom. At the point to I’d much prefer hate and harassment over that false positive attitude.

I freaked out and immediately blocked them and basically went into a panic attack. I was freaking out on my blog and just to make things worse I saw a post praising them and things got so bad. It was the start of the new year and I was on holiday and was supposed to do a bunch of things but because of that situation I was bedridden and couldn’t stop crying. I had so many nightmares about everyone here turning on me and the original incident and I still have them.

the way the person reacted to my situation was absolutely awful. After my breakdown they immediately went to their blog and started posting about how the ships good and you should praise it completely disregarding everything that happened. I’ve always been uncomfortable with them but this pushed me over the edge. And later on I got in contact with someone who was (presumably) trying to help me and we decided to see if that person could make an apology. But they took way to long to even think they gave any attention to the situation and the apology itself didn’t feel that genuine.

This person was still posting about it and didn’t change their pfp and title despite how bad it was to me and they did not do anything at all. Again I’m not naming anyone but I highly recommend you do not support them anymore. I said I’m going to be leaving for a while but if you want clarification on who it is you can just ask, I’ll check my stuff tomorrow morning before I completely shut off for the week.

I don’t know who it was but there was even a throwaway account hating on me and saying awful things. I didn’t care that much as things had already gotten so bad for me that I didn’t care about the opinion of an anon. But like I said, the sickly positive response that person gave was way worse than actual hate.

and that’s only one part of the story. Another thing happened much more recently with the person I mentioned who was trying to help me. They were the first person I followed on Milgramblr and the person who inspired me to join and make all these theories, so with this and them helping me I really looked up to them. It was a few days ago I think but they posted something on their account about that person and wanting attention to them. I expressed my uncomfortable feelings about the situation and they didn’t do anything about it. Instead they decided to KEEP POSTING about it, like constantly and me getting more upset at the situation and how they responded made it clear that they didn’t care at all. I blocked them and we were mutuals for a while.

It’s been a month and I’m still suffering very badly. I’m not constantly crying as I was when it first happened but it still pains me. I’ve been feeling incredibly distressed on this sight knowing that the original person hasn’t done anything about it and they’re still very close. No matter how much I block them or blog tags I still see them in reblogs or bought up. I had to exclude anything relating to the earbuds collab from my milgram archives as it gives me back really bad memories to the pfps involved. I just can’t feel safe in this place anymore and especially that no matter how I feel, nothing has changed since when it happened and no one’s even actually trying to help me or change things.

I’ve just been feeling so bad that I’ve been going days without eating. Just because I can’t be bothered to get out of bed. The only solace for me is sleep but even that’s not good enough as I might have nightmares and I often feel much more tired afterwards. Things are changing for me as I actually have to get up and do something now and it’s surprisingly going kinda well, but that has nothing to do with this situation.

just to note I will be continuing my milgram archives series, I’ve scheduled quite a few posts for this week so they’ll keep going. For me I’ll completely cut off all activity for this week, and may return on Wednesday.

it’s just. I hate how nothings changed. I want something to happen but no one’s helping

#I don’t know how many people will see this #i don’t even know if people will care about this #perhaps I just come back and everything’s the fucking same #I’ve been considering leaving the fandom because of this and I guess this would be to see what’s it’s like #If it’s better to stay or to leave #I’ve blocked so many people from this situation it’s hard to believe #people I thought I could trust… #To say it once again #If you know the person I’m referring to please unfollow them and don’t support them #I can tell you if you ask for a while #And just seeing all the praise the fandom got with people saying the fandom is such a nice and wholesome space is sickening #It was right after what happened and it’s just awful seeing people say that like they don’t care about what happened #They even started a minecraft server which I wanted to join #But avoided like the plague when I realised it was the person who started the original prompt #There was also a thing that happened recently where someone drew all their mutuals as cats #I ended up seeing that person in one of the cats and knowing that they followed them I instantly unfollowed #The cat pfps just make me so uncomfortable as it constantly reminds of the situation #It sounds stupid because it is but I’m at the point where any little reminder can set me off #But it’s not as bad as the collab pfps which I just can’t look at anymore #Although it’s only with a few characters that really make me feel that the art style in general just gives bad memories #To what I said earlier I don’t know anything about the person the originally made the prompts stand on this #I don’t know if they’re purposely ignoring me I don’t know if they even have no idea this is happening but I’m worried #I’ve also had experiences with a bunch of people I used to follow blocking me #And I’ve talked about it here but no one pays attention

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?) #(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay) #long post #tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then #anyway once again i'm sorry #i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone #i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks. #hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper #because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.

[luminarai]

hey, hi, I was just on the former bird app and came across this info from a brand new study and now I cannot stop screaming internally??? what the actual fuckkkk

theres' an article from the guardian here and here is the actual study:

#period products #menstruation #what the fuck what the fuck!!! #i know i probably shouldn’t be surprised but wtffff #idk what to tag this but #science #menstrual bleeding #heavy bleeding #period problems #reproductive health #alt text #described #physical health #blood mention tw #periods #edit: btw I skimmed the article overview and I’m glad to say it seems very inclusive #so once again: terfs can go fuck themselves in the not pleasant way <3 #it always bears repeating and I will ad naseum

[sheepgirlmaidtummy]

man. this whole thing pisses me off because like. even when people talk about staff having a history of hating trans women, that this isnt the first time, without fail black trans women are forgotten to be included again and again. im not surprised this caused such an uproar when the popular white woman gets deleted. nobody should be, its been that way like forever. some cunt in my inbox got annoyed i called rita a sex worker (lol? okay)

but i mentioned that in my post because so many black trans women have gotten removed from this site for their sex work alone, regardless of if it "broke community guidelines" or not, especially when tumblr live and the ads on this website are so fucking horny. idek what to say rn because like. this wont get as many notes as the posts talking about her will. the exploding car thing is gonna get more attention than the trans women on this site you dont actually care about listening to. ive been talking about how unfair it is to be a black tgirl on this site for years and nobody cares.

i love rita, we talked abit the other day and she's doing fine, dont get it twisted and think i hate her or some bs, she's a big fucking reason im not fucking homeless.

but part of why her deletion got to #1 trending on tumblr for multiple days in a row is that she's white

#reblog this you fuckers. im tired of you people saying you care about us. about my sisters and then ignore us like we never existed #gonna have to put abuncha these tags here again too otherwise literally nobody will see. i got abuncha new followers for that post #yall better Do Something other than performative bullshit for once #whatever. whatever. #predstrogen #photomatt #transgender #trans rights #black trans lives matter #black trans women #carhammerexplosionmatt

[sluttypatrickstar]

#james somerton #hbomberguy #had to add the second bit apparently je says he's gonna donate it to the plagiarism fund but he once again didn't even ask harry first

[sonknuxadow]

if a characters name is just a word related to their powers or job then they are transgender. because obviously their parents wouldnt know that information the second theyre born so how would they have those names. its because they named themselves

#sonic. blaze. espio. probably others im forgetting #once again reminding you all that archie sonic DID say that sonic named himself. #well maybe not specifically that he named himself but that sonic isnt his birth name #AND ITS NOT OLGILVIE MAURICE. before people say that. thats not canon just a widely spread misconception

[critterbitter]

A trip down memory lane! Though the tower seems to have changed…

Celestial tower! Built during the direct aftermath of the Founding Unovan Civil War, it remains a cultural landmark in memory of those lost in the fire and storm.

Time has dulled the scars left behind by the twin dragons. Today, the tower is primarily used as a mausoleum (the preferred method of burial are urns) and, well, a tourism site. Legend says if you climb to the top of the tower and ring the bell, you can lay your ghosts to rest. But mostly? You can ring a GIANT bell.

Course, you gotta GET to that bell first.

Masterpost for more pokemon shenanigans here!

#my love of old backrooms esque buildings once again crawls into the forefront #celestial tower #now that’s a fun name! #sounds similar to… say… celestica #maybe even celestica ruins #but bah! lets talk about the funny patrat kids forgetting to explain to their pachirisu friend just where they’re scurrying to #elesa really just said: weird architecture! seems familiar! #meanwhile ingo and litwick are verbally sparring and emmet’s desperately trying to make sure they dont get lost #(spoilers they get lost) #pokemon #art #sketchbook #myart #submas #fanart #pokemon ingo #subway boss ingo #subway boss emmet #pokemon emmet #gym leader elesa #pokemon elesa #litwick #tynamo #blitzle #nimbasa trio #anyways stairs are nightmarish all my homies hate stairs

[astrhae]

Can I watch?

GOOD OMENS S2E5 + some underrated Crowley shots

#crowley yelling at the demons because he once led a legion of his own #him wearing a turtleneck in the bookshop #vs him rolling up this episode with a more proper shirt #and him saying LET THERE BE LIGHT to gabriel #there was so much loaded into this episode #he went to heaven once in s1 and now AGAIN for aziraphale #crowley really was very married this episode #i needed to make random gifs #for personal reasons #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #goodomensedit #my edits

[astearisms]

but it ain’t called love without a little tragedy 🍁

#my art #a love letter to betty and simon #getting to explore simon’s journey post AT finale and the nuances of his relationship with Betty has been an experience #I don’t know what’s next but we can only hope closure for them #that betty maybe learns to put herself first after putting every ounce of herself in simon #or that simon learns to let go? or both of them do #assuming we do see Betty again #i am preparing to say farewell to the series once again after the finale #thank you adventure time crew #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #simon petrikov #betty grof #petrigrof #adventure time #I forgot to mention #this animation was inspired by ‘autumn leaves’ by yves montand #but a cover of it #I was listening to the song because I wanted to learn it on an instrument #it’s a melancholy song about autumn and lost love #and as I heard the lyrics of course I instantly thought of these guys #and then I started drawing #inspiration had a strong grip on me #thank you for reading #and your support #I hope you guys have had as much fun with this show as I have #I’m grateful for it

[tagerrkix]

rage.

#welcome to today's episode of “me trying to draw 76 different emotions at once” #rage+grief???sorrow??? anguish????? #hmmmmmmm #definitely pain #and a hint of fear #no but like he's angry but there's sadness underneath you get what i'm saying #the kind of rage caused by something that left you traumatized and you just can't stop thinking about how unfair it was #like “i didn't deserve this nobody deserves this” kind of rage #well anyway #i don't even care about anatomy at this point #just let me see how much i can distort the face and still have it somewhat resemble the character #didn't mean to draw him crying again but my hand slipped oops #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion fanart

[tearlessrain]

I really do think an important component of activism is to make sure your motivation is based on a desire to help/improve things for the people being harmed by a system, and not hatred for the ones doing the harm. both for mental health reasons, and because either way you're training your neural pathways and it's gonna turn out a lot better for literally everyone if the question on everyone's mind after achieving a goal is "how/which people can we help next, what's the next step for improving things" and not "who do we need to attack next."

I'm not saying don't be angry, there are a lot of good reasons to be angry right now and it makes for an excellent kick in the pants, just don't define yourself by it or it's gonna poison you and potentially do collateral damage.

#it also makes it so much easier to get sucked down those dangerous algorithm pipelines #I've said it once I'll say it again improving the world is often boring and unglamorous and anticlimactic #but it's fucking important

[joejoeba]

ABBA IN THE HOUSEEEEE

#leone abbacchio #Narancia ghirga #Guido Mista #Bruabba #Jojo's bizarre adventure #vento aureo #jjba part 5 #jjba golden wind #Joejoeba art #Abbacchio says the gay line. He summons his little idiots. Nara and Mista once again have some of the best duo scenes. I'm alive

[egophiliac]

this is basically what happened, right?

(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #these two are SO sleazy and i am utterly delighted by them #can't wait to find out their tragic backstory in approximately 3-4 weeks! #fortunately i have like a month to figure out how the heck to draw their hair (spoiler: i will never figure it out) #also. god. i love it whenever leona accidentally reveals his Mom Side. #he doesn't care about any of this but he WILL be tagging along to make sure no one else gets into trouble #once again he has to be the Responsible Adult and he hates it. the whimsical hat weighs heavy upon his head. #anyway this is me so excuse me while i now talk about diasomnia for three hours #but lilia being all 'kids gotta have some adventure in their lives!' is hilarious #specifically because you know silver would NEVER. #100% silver not only never snuck out but he always went to bed on time AND brushed his teeth AND flossed even when nobody made him. #lilia: aww but you should be enjoying your youth! >:c #silver: i am. i enjoy being respectful and disciplined and honoring you as my father. #lilia: #lilia: maybe i'm TOO good at raising kids #you know i was going to say none of his kids would be involved in this but i actually think malleus definitely would #he would not see it as a moral quandry though. he would just be excited to be invited along. #(the only reason he isn't there is because he was busy admiring a termite-infested beam somewhere and yuu didn't get a chance to ask him) #i mean MAYBE if lilia as his single authority figure told him no then he would have some reservations #but lilia's the one who's screaming HELL YEAH LET'S SNEAK OUT AND DEFY AUTHORITY while dabbing so moot point there #sebek would never and he would rat on everyone else. unless malleus is going in which case he's already there. #and i guess if everyone else is going silver probably would too #but he'd. y'know. feel conflicted about it.

[ryssbelle]

Night Owl vs Early Bird sleepover edition

#my art #trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls 3 #trolls floyd #trolls john dory #trolls branch #trolls au #technically #but i feel like this counts for outside of the au too so #only gets one tag #i am once again making a chowder reference #do i watch chowder #no #have i watched chowder #also no #do i know the memes from chowder #yes yes i do #and so the memes you will get #not to say i disliked the show then or now #i just never had interest in it when it was on #and i do not have the energy to engage in it rn #but its cute i like the art style and the joke lol #there will be more references coming that are more au focused lol #anyway i feel like after trolls 3 floyd just kind of hops from house to house spending time with his bros #but he has a very different sleep schedule from them all and is more of a night owl than an early bird #so he stays up all night #and JD is def an early bird so hes just trying to sleep while floyds yapping #so he gets sent back to branch who i feel like shifts between early bird and night owl #dude def has sleeping issues

[pansybrat]

itd be really cool if i was forced into puppyspace and asked if i want a treat, only for it to be giving my owner head. i want to be told to sit so they can fit my collar on me, attaching the leash so they can hold it taut as they tell me to wait and stay with my face between their legs, with my tongue out like a good dog. theyd tolerate as i lick and bite their thighs, rubbing my face over them, pulling my chain and choking me when i get a bit too excited and start licking over their underwear. i have to be a good mutt if i want my treat, and maybe ill get an even better treat if i please them well enough…

| this post is for t4t folks only, cishets dni |

#once again i say service dogboys NOW #pansyposts #t4t nsft #trans nsft #nsft puppy #puppyposting

[civetside]

TLT game night

#harrowhark nonagesimus #griddlehark #gideon nav #tlt shitposting #camilla hect #palamedes sextus #comic #i am once again just thinking of semi funny dialogue that kinda sounds like them and making a whole ass comic about it #putting them in situations #modern au #long post #needlessly long some may say #every time i post one of these sillay modern AU comics i always get nervous about how detached it is from the source material #OH WELL #i always try to play monopoly on my birthday every year i hope i get friends who will play with me SOON