#WHY is this STILL fucking with me 15-16 years later the only solution is finding you and killing you im SORRY

[autoneurotic]

support group for girls who were romantically involved with guys who were too old for them and should have known better and we all go and get to. kill them

#not me not me not me in therapy last session talking to my therapist ab it #and STILLLLLL STILL to this DAY being like well. he wasn’t like a bad dude tho. he was going through shit too #and my therapist was just like. uh huh. you’ve been through shit do you want to date a thirteen year old #like :| #probably will delete this so whatever #my first romantic encounter was w a guy who was at least 17-18 when i was newly 13 and it continued #on and off through my SENIOR year of high school #and i want to fuckingggg skin myself #like the fucking typical creepy dude shit #kissed me and said This Has To Be A Secret #and i thought that was special!!!!! i’m going to KILL #WHY is this STILL fucking with me 15-16 years later the only solution is finding you and killing you im SORRY #ok also this happened a few times #second guy i ever kissed was 21 and i was 14 #fuck this dumbass shitty earh

[poohkeepsee]

I was going through my AO3 bookmarks, and I wanted to organize them a little bit. These are my Dean/Cas canon-ish fic recs.

season 5

canticles  by  2street2car Words: 10,311     Chapters: 1

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

FTBYAM MY BELOVED

post season 6

Someone Who's Feeling For Me  by  ellispark  Words: 45,876     Chapters: 1

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

post bunker

Sun Can't Set Until Nine  by  LeverDrift Words: 67,939     Chapters: 16

Cas moves into the bunker as his powers start to fail. Dean doesn’t know if the arrangement is as permanent as he wants it to be. He's also not sure why he keeps dreaming about his friend. All he knows is that he wants Cas to stay. Overall warnings: canon-typical miscommunication & Dean having self-hatred issues.

Life Skills  by  ilovehowyouletmefall           Words: 26,052     Chapters: 3

After Metatron steals Castiel's grace, and Cas comes to live in the bunker, Dean spends a lot of time with him, sharing all of his favourite things. Dean can't help it if sharing things with Cas just makes everything better. Besides, it's Dean's job as Cas' friend to introduce him to the joys of human life. To teach him how to be human.  And if one of the experiences they end up sharing is sex with women, well... that's just part of Dean's job as Cas' friend too, right? The desire is triangulated, the rituals are intricate.

Sam Stole My Boyfriend  by  sobsicles    Words: 8,445     Chapters: 1

“Dude, you’ve been staring at me a lot lately, like even enough that Sam noticed. More than usual. So, like, what’s up?” Dean pauses, purses his lips and reconsiders. “What did I do?”

Cas knows that would be a perfect time to confess to Dean what exactly happened and what he was thinking. Maybe, Dean had some insight into the situation or even some kind of comfort to offer. But, the longer that he sat there, he realized that he could not tell Dean absolutely anything. So instead, for the first time, Cas fumbled.

“Um,” Cas mutters and abruptly stands. “Freckles?”

Dean blinked up at him as Cas pivoted and left the room. There was only one remaining option he had and unfortunately, it involved Sam.

Aching in the Absence of You  by  sobsicles Words: 95,090     Chapters: 10

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back.

He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales.

"Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time.

By nightfall, Cas is gone.

'Communication'  by  JustAnotherSamlicker Words: 11,656

The same story told from two perspectives.

Dean bought a house and he and Cas fix it up.

Is Dean moving out? Is Cas moving in?

Should they just talk to each other already? (Yes they should)

Build a Home  by  domesticadventures Words: 20,102

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them.

He doesn't

season 10

The Most Important Thing  by  NorthernSparrow Words: 94,462     Chapters: 14

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

season 12

Heroes for Ghosts  by  pantheon_of_discord Words: 42,922     Chapters: 7

Canon-divergent from 12.08

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

season 13

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees)  by  sobsicles   Words: 74,173     Chapters: 8

Dean keeps going back.

When he arrives, it's always to blooming flowers and a windmill in the background, not too far from a brook, the sun painting the plains.

He likes it there. He likes to stand in front of the makeshift urn and check that it's still where he put it, switching out the flowers when they wilt. He likes to listen to the sound of birds chirping, insects singing, the faint sound of water trickling in the distance. He likes to turn his face up and feel the sun on his skin, wondering if Cas would do the same if he were here, somehow knowing that he would.

He likes to talk.

There's never a response, but Dean feels the breeze rustle through his hair and watches the flowers bob when bees come to them and stares as the windmill keeps turning, turning, turning. And he imagines that Cas is replying—the windmill is the tilted head, the bobbing flowers are a gentle smile, the breeze is whatever words Dean wants to hear at the time.

Sometimes, it's almost like he's there.

Trial and Tribulations of Raising a Nephilim  by  Sickandtiredofyou Words: 14,910   Chapters: 6

Dean has far too much on his plate, losing his mom, his best friend and now being a single parent to a newborn nephilim.

In which Jack is an actual newborn instead of a teenager.

post season 13

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)  by  sobsicles           Words:     108,427     Chapters:     4

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next.

Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want."

"What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before."

"Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out."

"Easier said than done."

Reasons to read this:

Dean reads a story that ends like despair and his reaction is FUCK THAT

Cas wears Dean's hoodie

Jack is a toddler

The Jack and Claire sibling energy we deserve

Eileen being awesome and pulling pranks with Dean while Sam thinks she's an angel

Sam knows

YOUR HONOR THEY'RE IN LOVE

First Date  by  aeli_kindara Words: 8,968    Chapters: 1

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

Also known as the Dean Winchester makes the first move fic.

season 14

Broken Road  by  thegeminisage Words:     109,629     Chapters:     7

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

post season 15

fools and pilgrims  by  lagaudiere Words: 31,904     Chapters: 2

Claire shows up at the bunker a day before Dean was planning to leave, with her hair cut short and a fresh tattoo on her left arm under a bandage. Chuck is dead, Jack has given up his godlike powers, and Cas is back from the Empty, which doesn't make it any easier for Dean to talk to him. Suddenly finding himself in a world without monsters, supernatural forces, or any need for hunters, Dean's solution is to go on a road trip. Claire tags along.

Dean-Claire mirror fic post Despair

what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now)  by  sobsicles Words: 27,403

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

canon(?) au  (Hunters and Men of Letters)

Dean Winchester's Secret (Angel) Boyfriend  by  reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.

But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas...

Shot Through The Heart  by  peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean is a hunter.

Castiel is a Man of Letters.

And even though they have to work together on a regular basis, there is not much sympathy between them. Castiel thinks Dean too brash and reckless while Dean in return sees nothing more in the other man than a rude asshole with an obsessive love for books and a truly terrible fashion sense.

But fate clearly has a funny way of throwing those two together over and over again.

And somewhere along the way feelings change into something neither of them would have expected.

#destiel #deancas #fic recs

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Somebody

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6  🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20 🡪chapter 21 🡪chapter 22 🡪chapter 23 🡪chapter 24 🡪chapter 25 🡪chapter 26 🡪chapter 27 🡪chapter 28 🡪chapter 29 🡪chapter 30 🡪chapter 31 🡪chapter 32  🡪chapter 33

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

I never felt like this with somebody I never thought I'd feel like I do I never felt this close with somebody Somebody, somebody but you I never had this rush in my body I never thought I'd feel something new I never felt this close with somebody Somebody, somebody but you

Something 'bout you and the way we fit Like the stars in the night, heat of you on my skin Hadn't known you for long but it felt like years From the second we met I knew things would change

click here to be on the update list

PLEASE VOTE FOR ME, AM CONVERSATIONS, STUCK WITH YOU, NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOURS AND MY ONESHOT ON HERE!

NIALL

                                         A few days later, Devon and I had packed in silence. It was snowing and I kept glancing outside the window, seeing her from the corner of my eyes every single time. I knew I had been rough with her and I also knew that fucking her roughly against the wall of public toilets was a bad idea. At that time and with so much alcohol swallowed, It had seemed legitimate but now, I felt like an asshole and I had no idea how to handle it or what to think of it.

It was a good fuck, I wouldn't say different, but definitely not our best. I remembered the first time we had sex and the pictures she took, realizing she had never showed them to me, even if she had promised she would. Perhaps we had been so busy with our ex lovers and fighting with each other that we forgot about how amazing the few days alone at my apartment had been.

We remained silent a lot now and I hated it. I missed the sound of her laughter, her rambles and complaints, her comments while we watched a movie. The only thing I was still aloud to hear were the snores while she slept and I found myself sitting in my bed to listen to them a bit too much, and a bit too late at night.

I wanted to ask her to sit in the front seat with me in the car but I was scared she'd refuse and I was not even sure why it actually scared me anyway.

"Are you gonna ride with Lewis?"

"Mm, I'd rather ride with you." she admitted, glancing back at me before grabbing a hoodie and throwing it randomly in her bag. "Daxia and him are just getting on my nerves with their cute little nicknames and their non-stop affection. Did you know she sometimes pretends to purr? What the fuck?"

I let out a laugh and zipped my bag before turning around and letting myself fall on my bed to sit. "I know, I noticed. I think it's cute."

"Oh you would." Devon chuckled, shaking her head.

"What does that mean?"

She turned around to sit on her bed too, sending me a huge amused smile. It felt so good to laugh with her and feel like she actually cared about me that it made me want to lock the door and not go on that trip, keeping her here with me.

"The first impression you give is like, a fratboy." she admitted with a smirk. "Confident, a bit stuck-up, someone who brags all the time. Basically, you seemed to embody everything I hate in boys, especially those in college. But when we get to know you... you're a romantic, a softie. You've got the biggest heart I've ever seen in someone, and that makes you extremely endearing. That's why everyone loves you, that's the real reason you're so popular."

"Is it?" I just whispered, a bit shocked by all the compliments she had just thrown at me.

"Yes." she confirmed with a nod, sending me a fond smile that turned into a smirk. "Your face helps, too, I have to admit."

"Oh you think I'm handsome?"

She smiled more and tilted her head, nibbling on her bottom lip. "You know I do. Everyone does."

I wanted her to get up, walk to me and straddle me. I kept imagining her sitting on my lap, facing me, before her lips would meet mine. I couldn't stop thinking about my hands traveling on her body and her moaning in my mouth. I wanted her to whisper to me that she loved me while I made her cum. It sounded like the perfect scenario but I knew it wouldn't happen. I had made it clear I wanted more than just sex, and she made it even clearer that she didn't want a relationship. It was a mess, we were fucked, and I hated this situation more than I could explain. I didn't know how to handle it or change it. We had reached a deadlock and I couldn't find a solution.

Louis kept repeating me that she loved me but the more time passed, the less I was convinced. Was it even possible to resist that feeling for so long, especially when the other person is always so close? It didn't seem likely and my fate in the reciprocity of my feelings was faltering.

"My first impression of you was that you were a shy and boring girl." I admitted with a chuckle. "That's why I wasn't sure why I felt so connected to you. I don't think being around people who thinks art is useless is something I could easily do. But you turned out to be so fascinating, talented, funny and genuine. You're also a little cheeky minx, and I love how you don't let anyone walk over you, especially not me. And god knows I tried."

Her lips curled gently and she looked a bit embarrassed but I was not sure why. She licked her lips before pressing them together and finally, she chuckled.

"That's something I had promised myself when I left my old school, that I wouldn't let anyone walk all over me anymore. That I wouldn't be this... this vulnerable, naïve girl with so little self-esteem." she explained with a shrug. "It's nice to know I partially succeeded, even if it's hard to save my own heart, sometimes."

"Sometimes we just don't know how to really save it." I explained in a low tone, looking in her eyes. "Sometimes we just do it the wrong way, you know?"

"I don't know, I'm just trying the opposite of what I did last time." she confessed. I could read in her eyes how sad she was and it broke my heart.

"How does it feel so far?"

This time, she looked up and stared at me for a few seconds. "Not good."

I was trying to find the right words to tell her that she should give us a chance without being too aggressive but I couldn't find anything and after a while, my phone beeped. I sighed and grabbed it before reading Louis' text message.

"Okay, Louis is here. I didn't even know he was gone." I admitted with a frown.

"He's been so weird these days, and absent too. He's always super busy and doesn't answer my text messages."

"I think he's got a girlfriend."

Devon sent me a sad smile and shrugged a shoulder. I didn't know why she seemed so sad about it but I didn't try to find out. It was already hard to accept that she didn't love me the way I loved her, I really didn't need to start being jealous again, at least not of Louis.

"Yea that's one of my hypotheses, too"

We both grabbed our bags and got out of the building quickly, walking until we both spotted Louis' car. I held my breath but my lips finally curled when I noticed a cute brunette sitting on the passenger's seat and glanced at Devon to see her reaction. She didn't seem to think anything of it but I noticed she moved slightly closer to me.

"Look, I got to warn you two, Daxia invited Mandy and Noah, and one of them invited Abby." Louis let out as soon as we got close enough.

I glanced once again at Devon and at the same time, she had glanced at me. We shouldn't even care about Abby at all but here we were, and I was not sure why she was so much of a threat to Devon. Of course, I would be suspicious of Henry only because he's her ex boyfriend, so I could understand the aversion she felt for my ex girlfriend but at the same time, if Devon didn't love me, why was it such a big deal?

"Hey, Dev." Louis let out gently, grabbing her attention. "We won't let that ruin our trip, alright?"

She nodded and pressed her lips together before taking a quick look at the girl sitting next to Louis and then look back at him. "I'm gonna ride with Niall, okay?" she let out gently. "Give you two some intimacy."

She just sent him a fake smile and turned around. I was about to follow her when Louis yelled her name and she turned her head and raised her eyebrows up. "I just... I'm offering you the first drink, okay?"

It took her a while but she finally just nodded and we walked to my car before hopping in it. She threw her bags on the backseat and when I started the car, she immediately reached for the heating button.

"What's wrong? What happened between you and Louis?" I asked as I drove, following Louis' car the best I could.

"He's distant, and annoyed with me." she just shrugged. "People tend to get tired of me at some point but I honestly thought Louis was different."

"Devie, Louis isn't getting tired of you." I just explained, shaking my head. "He's got a new girlfriend, that's it. He's never gave up on me and he honestly could have many times. That's not how he is, trust me."

She remained silent but sighed and turned to look by the window. I would have given a lot to find out what was happening in her head but I didn't dare asking. We weren't back to being close, and we hadn't talked about those rough exchanges of words, whether it was the one we had late at night in the dark street or the one in the public toilets of a bar, and I was not sure we ever would. We could pretend everything was alright all we wanted, it was a lie. She was sad and I was in pain, and pretending we were fine was not going to change anything.

"Apparently, Daxia and Lewis are going to ride with Mandy, Noah and Abby." she finally said, taking me out of my thoughts. She typed something on her phone and my heart jumped in my chest when It made me realize that we were going to be alone again for a few hours. "That's a pretty loaded car." she added with a shrug.

"Not our problem."

"Nope, not at all." she agreed, leaning on the bench and bringing her feet up, placing them against the door of the glove box.

I noticed she had taken her boots off and even if it should bother me, it really didn't. I was in it very deep and I was literally drowning.

"That means we could have gone with Louis, save fuel and a car." she added, turning her head my way and making me chuckle.

"There's no way I'm riding with him. Not in that car. Plus, look at how slow he is. We're following him and it's a pain in my ass."

This time, Devon laughed genuinely and it made me smile. "I don't even ski, you know." she pointed out a few seconds later. "I'm just going because I'm really alone for Christmas this year, but I don't think I'll ski or anything. I brought canvases and paint, I've brought a few books and movies.. I mean I'll join you guys downstairs for a drink at night or a hot chocolate but I've never really been sportive or anything... and even less when it came to sports practiced in winter."

"Alright, no ski time for you. You know, we only go to spend time altogether. Some of us just also likes to ski."

The conversation continued for a while but when it stopped, Devon put music on and I started singing despite myself and she joined me. At some point she just stopped and even turned the volume down a bit. It made me chuckle and I glanced at her only to feel my heart jump in my chest at the way she was looking at me.

"Did I annoy you?"

"No." she whispered, leaning her head in the bench, sending me a fond smile and shrugging. "I just get so many feelings when you sing."

My smile fell and I licked my lips. It brought so many questions in my mind but every time I wanted to ask one, I stopped myself, either scared of the answer or of the way it would make her react. Before I knew it, we parked and took our stuff out, following Louis and his girlfriend in the hotel. We were walking in the lobby when Louis moved closer to us without looking at us.

"Look you two don't be pissed but, I sort of put both of you in the same room." Devon frowned while I raised my eyebrows and Louis just groaned. "Don't blame me. First off, the rest of us are sort of in relationships. I think Abby's got a room by herself so if either of you want to switch room to be with her, be my guest. Anyway, it's not like you two weren't used to share a room, right?"

We stopped near the counter but neither me or Devon had mentioned anything. Louis turned to us this time and his eyes moved from me to her and he finally rolled them. "Look I'm sorry, I just honestly thought you two would be dating by now."

I cleared my throat, feeling suddenly a bit uncomfortable, and noticed Devon bringing her shoulders up and wrapping her arms around herself, showing she felt pretty much the same. We had planned to meet in a few hours at the restaurant but it's only when Devon and I entered our room that my jaw dropped.

"I can... sleep on the floor if you want." were the only words my brain could form and express and it made Devon chuckle.

"Don't be silly, the bed's big enough for both of us." she replied, putting her bags near a side and taking her coat off before placing it on a chair. "Besides, it won't be the first time we share a bed."

Flashbacks of us cuddling in the bed of my apartment appeared in my mind and I blinked a few times as if it would make the memories even clearer. We had spent many days sleeping in the same bed but somehow, at that very moment, it felt totally different. I wondered if Louis had asked only for one bed for us because he honestly thought we were going to be together by now, or just because he's an asshole. Either way, it didn't change anything and I walked in the room to put my bags down.

I got ready to join our friends but when I got out of the bathroom, I noticed Devon in sweatpants with a book in hands. It made me frown and I grabbed my phone and my wallet, glancing at her.

"You're not ready?"

"Mm, no, I think I'd rather stay here." she admitted with a shrug. "I'm not really hungry anyway. Besides, I'm not really in the mood to see your ex girlfriend."

"Legit." I admitted, raising my eyebrows and nodding. "Do you want me to bring you something back?"

She looked up from her book and leaned her head against the pillow behind her. It made me want to kiss her and tell her once again that I loved her. It made me want to stay in the room to spend the whole evening with her.

"No, thanks, that's very sweet of you." she let out gently. "It's late anyway, I'll probably be asleep when you'll come back."

When I came back, however, she was not in bed. I frowned, realizing the lights were still on, and found her laying on the floor in a fetus position. She had put papers on the carpet to be sure she wouldn't make too much of a mess and she probably had forgotten her easel because her canvas was on the floor. I smiled when I noticed she still had a brush in hand and even more when I realized she fell sleep using yellow paint.

I turned to look at her panting and finally noticed the shades of orange and red all over it before crouching down to have a better look. I couldn't explain how good it felt to see her use other colors than dark grey and navy blue, and it made me wonder what exactly it meant. I took the canvas slowly and gently, placing it on the desk in the corner of the room before walking back to her and getting on my knees.

"Devie, hey, come on, let's get in bed okay?" I helped her up and she groaned, leaning on me and still half asleep.

I brought her in bed, laying her down and she quickly curled up again as I brought the covers over her. I got undressed and got under the blankets too, turning my body her way to look at her, my head leaning on my pillow. She looked peaceful and I noticed dried paint on her hands and forehead, wondering how long she had been asleep. The whole time I was at the table with my friends, I regretted not staying in the room with her but somehow, I knew she probably wouldn't have painted if I had been there, and the result was totally worth it.

"Mm, Niall."

I held my breath when she whispered my name and something twisted in my stomach. For a second, I wondered if she was awake but she started snoring softly again and I exhaled when I realized she had literally murmured my name while sleeping. It was the cheesiest thing ever and at the same time, I had never heard anything that made me happier.

"Don't worry Devie, I'm here." I whispered back. "I'll always be."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan enemies to lovers #niall horan college au #niall horan au #niall horan uni au #my fanfics #swy

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, we’ve added to our friends to lovers rec list. You can find part one here and there will also be a part three (and possibly a part four!) up eventually, which will be linked here when it’s been posted. We hope you enjoy these fics! Happy reading.

1) Roses In The Rain | Mature | 5267 words

“Don’t- I know what you’re going to ask, and I… Harry, I can’t,” he said, his voice cracking. “Please. You know that I can’t.”

Louis had his six siblings and his old house with its falling-apart porch to take care of. This town was where people still approached him, 8 years after high school graduation, to tell him that they loved him as Danny in Grease. This town was where he had his pick of suitors, where he had his first kiss, where he took his first steps, where his mama lived, died, and was buried, and he couldn’t leave just to follow some man that he loved.

Harry, for now, seemed to understand that.

“Okay, baby,” Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Okay.”

2) Candy In Your Mouth (I Know You Love Me) | Explicit | 6937 words

Things have shifted since last Christmas.

3) Glimpse Of The Silhouettes | Explicit | 7181 words

Harry isn't sure what the rules are for this. It's hard to believe that there are any, that's there's a handbook just waiting for him to buy: why is my best mate getting hard in my lap when I touch his arse?

4) Woke Up Feeling Knotty | Explicit | 7903 words

Beta Louis has a kink for knotting and the secret aesthetic porn blog he runs about it is more than proof.  When he accidentally finds out his alpha best friend Harry is one of his biggest fans, he knows he has to come clean after everything that has already happened between them.  Harry just might be willing to help him out anyway.

5) A Love Reaction | Explicit | 9968 words

It's never been a thing. Not until now.

6) Got It Right Such A Long Time Ago | Explicit | 9699 words

Four months into One Direction's hiatus, Louis comes to stay with Harry after a bad breakup.

7) (You're Gonna See Me In A) New Light | Mature | 13631 words

A fake relationship AU where everyone knows it's real but Louis.

8) As A Memento From Me | Explicit | 15817 words

Five lives in which Harry and Louis didn’t end up together, and one in which they did.

9) I Put A Spell On You | Explicit | 17525

A BBC/Secret Santa mashup featuring Captain Niall, our intrepid weatherman/amateur matchmaker, rather clueless sports reporter Liam, charming political analyst Zayn, and cheeky entertainment reporter Louis. Harry is the new fashion correspondent who prefers to dress like a flamingo. And pining. There’s a lot of pining.

10) Oblivious | Explicit | 19095 words

Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird.

11) Break Open The Sky | Explicit | 20372 words

Werewolf AU. Harry might be a werewolf, but he still wants to experience Uni like everyone else. Turns out he learns a lot.

12) Runnin’ Like You Did | Explicit | 20061 words

The college AU where Louis knows how to hold a grudge and is definitely not in love with Harry Styles.

13) UN(RE)SOLVED. | Explicit | 20873 words

The ghoul boys are back, but this time around there are some unresolved feelings involved. Harry is a skeptic, Louis is not. Watch them go on their ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?

14) Hats Off To My Distant Hope | Explicit | 20990 words

Harry is in White Eskimo. Louis is in London.

15) The Way The Storms Blow | Explicit | 20649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

16) Love Like Wildfire | Explicit | 21774 words

Louis was an Omega and a Prefect. Harry was an Alpha and a little rascal. They were mates, drawn to each other since they first met in the Hogwarts Express. They worked well like that, or at least they tried, which only made their relationship way more interesting.

17) Indestructible | Explicit | 24423 words

“Hi,” Harry murmurs, and Louis hiccups out a sob.

“Hi,” he manages, still clutching onto Harry’s shoulders. Harry’s fingers drift across Louis’ cheeks, and there’s something off about Harry’s expression, but Louis can’t figure out what it is.

“I’m okay,” Harry says, and Louis is going to say something to that, even if he doesn’t know what, except Harry’s kissing him.

Louis freezes.

18) A Whole New World | Not Rated | 24967 words

Louis has moved into his new apartment to start his new job as a teacher. Things would be great. If only his arsehole neighbour didn't wake him up every morning by playing piano.

19) Another Day Gettin’ Into Trouble | Explicit | 25619 words

Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them.

In Harry’s defense, when he first thinks about it his intention is just to buy the kit and give it to Louis to make his own dildo with, because that’s what he wants anyway, right? To have a penis filling him up?

Then he realizes that it would be weird if Louis made a copy of his own dick to fuck himself with. It’d be super weird. Louis fucking himself? That’s a weird idea. Harry’s pretty sure Louis wouldn’t like that.

Clearly the only solution here is to use his own dick for the mold.

20) Brooklyn Saw Me | Explicit | 28537 words

In the cold and unforgiving city of New York, Louis doesn't have a home and Harry wants to give him one. But as their heartstrings become increasingly intertwined, and the snow continues to fall, home is getting harder and harder to find.

21) Rivers ‘Til I Reach You | Explicit | 29315 words

AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

22) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Mature | 30429 words

Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.

23) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words

"So, I guess we'll go?" Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. "I mean, I wouldn't mind. We could make it an adventure."

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He's fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry's gaze–he probably knows that Harry's mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he's not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he's also Harry's best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he'd still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He's got Harry's back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they'll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. "We're going," he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

24) Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | Mature | 32354 words

The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

25) The List | Mature | 32074 words

'In the weeks that follow, Harry opens his old journal more than he has in the past two years each time he remembers Venice or thinks about Louis. He always flips to the same random page in the middle of the book, marked by the picture of himself that Louis sent him a few days after they got home. There’s a message on the back that says, ‘Spontaneous looks good on you! See you soon,’ and it makes Harry’s chest warm each time he reads it. He wedges their list out from between the worn pages, and it feels silly staring down at a folded up piece of paper with a strange sense of nostalgia for experiences they’ve yet to have; for places they’ve never even been.'

26) Mark My Word (We Gon’ Be Alright) | Explicit | 35524 words

An A/B/O AU featuring an oblivious Harry as the pack leader, a pining Louis as his second-in-command, and an entourage of friends and family who are a little too good at keeping their mouths shut.

27) The Sun Will Rise With My Name On Your Lips | Explicit | 37927 words

When Eleanor breaks up with Louis he finds it hard to keep pretending that Harry isn’t what he’s wanted since the day he first met him.

28) Runner On Third | Explicit | 39643 words

Note: The sequel to this fic is not BL.

The AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don't pick up where they left off.

29) My Sweetest Downfall | Mature | 42048 words

Louis is a retired guardian angel. After the death of his last charge, he became jaded. Humans die—what use is prolonging the inevitable?

He's more than happy to forget about humanity altogether until one day, when Louis is pulled from his desk job for a new assignment: protect One Direction's Harry Styles. It doesn't help that there's something about Harry that Louis can't resist, and it's making him question everything he's ever known. Humans are strictly off limits, and breaking that rule means risking everything, but Harry just might be worth it.

This is a story about forgiveness and discovery, featuring an angel who wants to be a little more human and a human who is so much more than he seems.

30) For the Sake of Propriety | Mature | 52360 words

Louis Tomlinson is the caretaker of an estate that is not truly his, and when his Uncle calls upon him to take it back, Louis knows he will soon be out on the streets with four overly zealous sisters to care for.  His only solution: wed the eldest two off and pray for the best.  When an even better solution unexpectedly presents itself in the form of the charming Mr. Styles, Louis is faced with a difficult choice.  But as with all things in the regency era, reputation very well may threaten to outweigh the fleeting matters of his heart.

31) The Bachelor | Explicit | 53953 words

The one where Harry dates six other guys and still falls in love with Louis Tomlinson.

32) We’ve Got the World in Our Hands | Explicit | 54964 words

Note: This fic has been locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

A mutants/superpowers AU. Louis and his friends attend the Cowell Institute for General Education and Mutant Training in London; when Louis meets Harry, the newest student at the Cowell Institute, he immediately recruits Harry to help play matchmaker for his friend Zayn. Harry and Louis are so caught up in meddling in Zayn's love life, though, that they don't notice that their own friendship is progressing into something more. Meanwhile, an ominous threat up north grows slowly until suddenly, no mutant - or human - is safe.

33) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 49873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

34) Since I’ve Found You | Mature | 74005 words

Louis woke up on the morning he was meant to volunteer at the Feed the Homeless program at St. Mary's church hoping for an opportunity to give back a little to a city that has given him everything he could ever want. Little did he know, there was one more great thing waiting there for him; a boy with radiant green eyes in a weathered jacket and a beat-up backpack slung over his shoulders.

35) Saving Symphony Hall | Mature | 124766 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

36) Falling Into You | Mature | 143517 words

In the grand scheme of adolescence and boyhood, Harry was still working himself out, so far with little luck. But four things he could say for certain: 1) he'd been at the top of his class all through primary and secondary school, 2) he was the shittiest alpha to ever walk the earth, 3) Liam Payne never let him forget it, and 4) he’d been in love with this boy, Louis Tomlinson, ever since he was fifteen years old.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#larry #fic recs #friends to lovers #bottom louis #top harry #blp #blp fic recs

[spaceskam]

92 or 98 for malex? 💗💗💗

92. “I want you to be happy.” & 98. “Take a deep breath.”

ao3

For a king who had been hailed as a genius, Alex found that Michael was a goddamn idiot.

“What is wrong with you?” Alex breathed, tears already covering his face as he stared at the man he loved more than anything. It was late and the rest of the castle was asleep aside from a few guards, leaving them stuck with speaking quietly over candlelight.

Alex Manes had been found as a toddler, abandoned and hungry with an infection on his leg. The queen at the time had taken pity on him and brought him home, letting a doctor do what he needed so he could learn to walk again. With a specially crafted leg funded by the royal family, Queen Nora gave him to her staff as sort of a side project. He grew up inside the castle as the son of 20 different women who doted on him like their own and 20 different men who thought it was their duty to teach him to be a man. It made him skilled in a vast number of trades as the king and queen watched. 

By the time he was 10, they realized how intelligent and capable he was and began letting other, higher staff members teach him things like how to read and write. He was 15 when he was granted tutoring sessions alongside Prince Michael where they became close friends, but things didn’t start becoming complicated until they were 16.

King Heinar died, leaving the throne to Michael who was panicked and sad, but he took on the duty. Alex took it upon himself to help him to the best of his ability, but they soon found that their attraction ran deeper than simply friendship. They talked through royal plans while naked in bed most nights, sharing thoughts and ideas and it never bothered Alex when Michael passed them off as his own.

At 17, Queen Nora suggested that, for appearances' sake, it would be best if Alex officially became a Gentleman of the Bedchamber. It would explain why they were so close without stirring the wrong kind of gossip. There had already been publications of drawings with Michael as a giant baby with Alex spoon-feeding him political ideologies. People were already assuming, so he agreed.

Alex’s duties for the last five years as Gentleman of the Bedchamber was to be Michael’s closest companion, to help him dress, to wait on him when he ate, to guard his chambers when he was most vulnerable. He quite typically did none of that. His sword and prosthetic leg usually laid beside them on the bed for easy access, but no guarding or servent-esque duties took place. Alone, they were equals. That was their rule.

Which worked quite fine until Michael had to begin courting a young princess. He needed heirs after all and that was something Alex couldn’t provide. It made it harder to steal time alone with him, harder to show affection, harder to stop his heart from aching in a way he couldn’t heal. Because as of tomorrow, Michael would be married and he would need to begin working to provide heirs. Loyalty was no longer an option.

“What is wrong with you?” Alex repeated, feeling disgusted not for the first time as he stared at Michael. He looked sad and lost like he did most days lately. “How dare you ask that of me? I know you are a king, but I am not your plaything. I never have been and I refuse to let you treat me as if I am.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Michael insisted, struggling to keep his voice down, “I just need you there, beside me, to give me strength.”

“Do you hear yourself?” Alex scoffed, “What we have is ending tomorrow morning for good and you want me to stand beside you as it happens? You want me to stand in front of everyone as you rip my heart out of my chest?”

Michael stared at him, bottom lip quivering as he let his tears flow freely. Alex assumed he didn’t have any control over them. He gasped a desperate little breath and wiped at his face, but Alex didn’t back down from staring. He knew he had no right to be angry, he knew what he was getting into when he first laid with a king, but, God, he was.

“It’s normal for kings to have mistresses,” Michael said weakly, the same argument he brought up every single time they’d spoke about this since it came apparent that he would need to get married, “It’s normal. We can still be together. I don’t love her, it’s pure politics. I’m sure she’ll have her fair share of men as well.” 

“You don’t understand,” Alex said, shaking his head, “You simply don’t understand. Mistresses are normal because you have power. This is all power. The fact that I am forced to have a title simply to be close to you is all power. And I don’t want a love that has any sort of fucked up imbalance in it any more than I’ve already accepted. I refuse to be some sort of mistress. You either have only me or you don’t have me at all. That’s how it’s been for years and that’s the only way I’ll take you.”

“Alex,” Michael begged, coming closer. Alex took a step back. “Alex, this isn’t an option for me. I have to produce heirs.”

“I know,” Alex said, sniffling as he wiped his eyes, “Which is why I can’t stand beside you at your wedding. I’ll attend, I have to, and I’ll take up duties as the Gentleman of the Bedchamber, but I no longer can be anything more. I can’t take it.”

“Fine!” Michael said, falling to his knees and taking Alex’s hand to place over his heart, “Fine! I won’t touch her! I’ll marry her for appearances and I’ll only touch you. Fuck heirs, fuck it all, nothing matters without you.”

“And what if people find out that your marriage hasn’t been consumated? What happens when she asks you won’t touch her? And what happens when she is publically and ritualistically shamed by your people for not producing heirs? She doesn’t deserve that either,” Alex said, “The only way is to stop. You marry her, you learn to love her, you have children with her.”

“I don’t want that! I want you!”

“Michael,” Alex said, resting his hand on his wet cheek. His face was a wreck from crying and Alex assumed he couldn’t look much different. Still, he looked in his eyes and told him the truth. “I want you to be happy. For that to happen, you need to let go.”

“No,” Michael said, shaking his head, “I can’t be happy without you.”

He dropped his head forward, resting on Alex’s stomach as he wrapped his arms around him. He didn’t seem to have many intentions to let go. It was times like these that Alex realized that, although they’d grown up at the same time under the same roof, they were taught many different things. For example, Alex was taught that all good things come to an end eventually. Like when Sir Aubrey, the only other man he’d met with an artificial leg, died the night he told Alex he had a surprise trick to teach him at his next sword lesson. Years later, Alex still wondered what it was.

And, years from now, he’d wonder what it would be like to have had Michael to himself for eternity.

“I’m going to sabotage my own wedding,” Michael said into his stomach. Alex huffed a humorless laugh, losing a bit of inhibition as he dropped his crutch and combed through Michael’s hair for the last time. Michael held him upright easily. “I-I’ll insult the priest. I’ll forget what I’m meant to say. I’ll trip and need a doctor.”

“Your new wife doesn’t deserve that. Give her a nice day,” Alex insisted. Michael squeezed him.

“Stop it, you’re too kind. If you must push me away like this, you’ll have to make me hate you,” Michael stated firmly. Alex laughed softly, closing his eyes as he slowly started to get to his knees. Michael helped him, eyes still full of sadness as they found themselves face to face. Alex wanted to kiss him, to grab him and run away, to go somewhere that they could be together without consequence.

But Michael was a good leader, the best they’d had in years, and Alex played a crucial role in making that happen. Neither of them could leave for the sake of their country.

“I’ll make you hate me,” Alex promised, taking his face in his hands, “Just you wait.”

“Good luck,” Michael said, chin raised and jaw set in determination despite his wet eyes, “Nothing you could do would make me hate you. I lo-”

“Shh,” Alex said, shaking his head as he put his thumb to those lips that he’d kissed daily since he was 16 years old, “Take a few deep breaths. You need to calm down before you go back to your room.”

Michael shook his head. 

“I’m not leaving until I figure out a way around this,” Michael stated, “We think best together, we always have. If anyone could come up with a way to make this work for everyone, it’s us.”

Alex’s shoulders dropped as well as his hands, scared to touch Michael when he was speaking that way. It was too easy to fall into habits he hadn’t had the chance to break quite yet when he did. He still wanted to touch him, still wanted to find a solution, and it made it harder to stand his ground when Michael wanted to do the same.

“Michael, we’ve already tried. We’ve been trying,” Alex said weakly. Michael looked at him for what felt like an eternity and Alex stared back. It was easy to get lost in his face again and just think about what could’ve been.

But then Michael’s eyes widened.

“We haven’t tried one thing,” Michael said. Alex, refusing to get his hopes up, eyed him suspiciously. “We haven’t tried talking to her.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asked hesitantly.

“I mean,” Michael said, already moving to get to his feet. He grabbed Alex’s crutch on the way before holding out his hand to pull Alex up as well. “We need to talk to my soon-to-be wife. Maybe she has someone I don’t know about that she had to give up for me. Or maybe we can have her fake a pregnancy and adopt. There are other options, but if she’s going to be my wife, she’ll need to be included. And I want to keep you, so we need to ask her. Come on.”

“Come on? Michael, it’s the middle of the night,” Alex said, though his heart was beating in his chest. He knew telling this woman would be a very risky thing and she could easily confirm the suspicions of people, but she was their only option. 

“Yes, and our wedding is in the morning. We’re low on time,” Michael said, pulling him just a little bit closer, “I refuse to lose you, Alexander. You are a gift from God himself and I don’t intend to give you back.”

Michael kissed him to seal his promise and Alex was couldn’t say no. This was their last chance to have a future and if that meant doing something reckless, well, it wouldn’t be the first time.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much to stand beside him as he married someone else if he knew he was still all his.

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #rnm fic #my fic #prompts

[fandomfanfics12]

We Are A Family-Part 33

Title: We Are A Family. Pairings: Steve x tony, Peter x Wade, Nat x Clint, Sam x Bucky. Part: 33/? Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, eventual smut, slowburn. Summary: When Nat comes into the avengers tower with baby Peter Parker, the avengers didn’t know what they were getting themselves into. But now that Peter is here,Steve and Tony both feel protective over him. It doesn’t help that Peter hates everyone other than Steve and tony. But as Steve and tony raise Peter, they start to fall for one another. Will this superfamily work out or will it all turn to hell?

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32

Steve was angry, devastated, but mostly angry. At himself and at Tony. Why was it so easy for Tony to just move on? Was it because he got the extra years with Peter? Did he get his fill of Peter and decide that he didn’t need their son anymore? Steve knew it wasn’t fair for him to be bitter that Tony was around in the last couple years of Peter’s life, but he couldn’t help it. Tony was there and Steve wasn’t. and now it was Steve fighting for Peter, not Tony.

“Steve?” Natasha prompted and Steve snapped back to attention.

“Yeah?” he asked, but she was frowning. Her head tilted to the side and then she rolled her eyes.

“I still can’t believe you gave up on Tony, after everything.” Steve shook his head, that wasn’t fair.

“I didn’t give up on Tony.” Steve told her and she snorted.

“Right.”

“He gave up on me. and on Peter.”

“so that was the deal breaker huh, the very thing that brought the two of you together?”

“I don’t see Clint hanging around either.” Steve snapped and knew it was a low blow. He’d vanished and Steve knew that Natasha had been hunting him down. Halfheartedly, but Steve knew that she was just afraid of the man that she’d find.

“On the account that you and Tony just broke up and given the history, I’m going to let that one slide. Besides, they’re both not here for the same reason.”

“And what’s that Natasha?” Steve asked, crossing his arms.

“They’re scared that it won’t work and that they’ll have to face the disappointment of not bringing everyone back yet again.”

“And what about us? Don’t they think that we’re scared to?” Steve asked and she shrugged.

“When I first told you that I was doing this, you said you didn’t want Tony to know. You wanted to protect him from that disappointment, so don’t get shitty with me that you blabbed.” Natasha said and Steve sighed, he was being an ass and he knew that, but the idea of losing Tony was killing him. He wanted Peter back, and Tony and Steve didn’t understand why he couldn’t have both. Why was Tony making him choose?

-

Tony felt like the worst person on the fucking planet. The worst person in the fucking universe. God, how was he so selfish? His own fear of facing disappointment, was ruining the one good thing he had left in his life. Here was Steve, working tirelessly to bring back Peter, and Tony was being selfish. Yet, if it didn’t work-if they couldn’t figure it out, how the fuck would Tony survive that disappointment? It would be like Peter dying all over again. So he’d asked Steve to choose, in Tony’s head he thought Steve would just nod and that would be that. But Tony should have known his husband better than that, should have known the truth that was coming for him.

Steve didn’t quit.

Especially not when it came to their family. this whole time Steve had been fighting for it, he’d never given up on their little family. so why was Tony?

-

Four years later...

-

Steve stared down at his phone and was overcome with the overwhelming urge to call Tony. He just had to press down on the screen and the phone would dial. But Steve was afraid of rejection, of being told no by Tony. He was scared to tell Tony that he couldn’t give Tony what he wanted. All Steve could do would be to ask for forgiveness, for them to learn to get passed this.

“Hello? Is anyone there?” Steve’s brows furrowed and he shot up to his feet, his phone forgotten. He knew that voice, the man who that voice had vanished along with everyone else. Natasha pulled up a video clip and there was Scott, waving at the camera.

“is this an old message?” Steve asked as his heart leaped up into his throat. How was that possible? The only person who was still alive despite Thanos’ best efforts was Wade, and that was only because he rematerialized faster than the stones had been able to take him.

“No.” Natasha said and the phone fell from Steve’s hand and clattered against the floor.

“Let him in.” natasha pressed a button and Scott grinned, Steve took off so he could meet the man halfway.

-

The phone ringed and ringed and Tony’s heart was up in his throat. Finally it stopped ringing.

Ttony? Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, I wanted to talk to you about that little girl, Morgan?” Tony asked and the therapist chuckled.

“So you’re going to go through with the adoption?” she asked and Tony began to pace around his little cabin.

“Yes, I think so.”

“That’s great news, her parents disappeared in the snap and she’s just been passed around from foster home to foster home.” Tony nodded, that was why Tony cared about this little girl so much. She was Pepper’s daughter, and if he’d known about her earlier-he would have adopted her sooner.

“So when can I get her?” Tony asked and the therapist laughed.

“Well I’ll have to make a few arrangements, you’ll have to sign some papers but I suspect that within the next couple days she’ll be all yours.” Tony grinned, feeling relieved.

“Excellent.”

-

“How the hell are you alive?” Steve asked and Scott shook his head.

“It’s a long story.” Steve couldn’t help but look around, hoping others would start to materialise out of thin air.

“Well how’d you do it? I need you to tell me every detail Scott, we need to bring the others back.” Scott shook his head, a sadness in his eyes.

“I didn’t go in the snap Steve, I was in the quantum realm.” Scott said and Steve shook his head.

“I don’t understand.”

“I didn’t come back from the dead.” Scott said and Steve shook his head, his brain couldn’t process that.

“No but you, you were gone and-“ Scott cut him off.

“I was in the quantum realm. I’d explain it to you but I doubt you’d actually hear anything I said and, are you okay?” Steve felt like he was being crushed by disappointment.

“I’m uh, fine. Just go talk to Nat.” he could feel her watchful eyes on his back, but Steve didn’t care. He needed a moment to process. To understand that once again, he didn’t have Peter.

“I spoke to my daughter Cassie and she told me everything, and while I didn’t die in the snap, I think I have a solution for it.” and there it was, a spark of hope that flickered to life in Steve’s chest. He whirled around, eyes wide and heart hammering.

“The stones were destroyed, we can’t use them to bring everyone back.” Scott nodded his head, but he didn’t look disappointed.

“Yeah I know, but that’s not my solution.” A new idea, Scott had an idea-a theory and it was the biggest breakthrough Steve had.

“And what is it that you’re suggesting?” Steve asked and Scott scratched the back of his head, suddenly seeming nervous.

“Time travel?”

-

Morgan was perfect in every way imaginable. She was adorable and sweet and so so smart and Tony fell in love with his little girl instantaneously. She stared up at the cabin with wide eyes and Tony’s heart leapt up into his throat. He would protect her at all costs.

“so I really get to live here?” she asked and Tony nodded his head.

“Yeah kiddo, you get to live here.” He murmured and she grinned her big toothy grin.

“Yay!” she began to run, dodging in and out of rooms and jumping up and down on pieces of furniture. Tony smiled and his mind flashed back to little baby Peter, who had run around in their new house in a similar manner. No, stop. Tony shook his head, wishing the memory away. He didn’t want to think of Peter and of all the sad memories that came with thoughts about Peter. God, what was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he move on? Why couldn’t he let go? Steve would love her, he’d adore Morgan-Tony just knew it. but he also knew that Steve would never forgive him for this. this would be a slap in Steve’s face, but Tony had done this for Pepper. So Pepper’s daughter could grow up feeling loved. This wasn’t to get back at Steve.

“Mr Stark?” she called and Tony followed the sound of her voice, she stood before the fireplace and was staring up at the pictures.

“Yeah Morgan?” Tony asked and she tilted her head.

“Who are they?” and she pointed at an old family photo. Back when things were good, Peter and Wade were twelve, and Steve hadn’t had his mind under Thanos’ control. Back when they’d all been alive and happy.

“Nobody important.” Tony said and she frowned.

“They look important.” Tony sighed, unsure on how to proceed.

“They’re just some people I knew.”

“Did something happen?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you see them anymore?” Tony’s eyes focused in on Steve’s face, smiling and happy. Not the haunted look he’d worn for the last year they’d been together.

“No.” There was a finality in Tony’s voice that stung, but it was the truth. He hadn’t spoken to Steve in years, and he only saw Wade a couple times a year. And Peter was gone, so Morgan would never meet him. Which really sucked because Tony just knew that Peter would be the best big brother. But Peter wasn’t here anymore, so Tony just picked up Morgan and carried her to her room.

-

Wade slumped down into a chair at the bar, his mind foggy.He hadn’t spoken to any of the Avengers-apart from Tony-since they’d failed to bring everyone back. He’d dropped off the map, unable to look at Steve or any of the others, it was too painful. He still saw Tony though, a couple times every year. Just to check in with him, make sure he was doing alright-for Peter. Everything Wade did these days was for Peter, he tried to make the world a better place because the world had lost Peter and that was absolutely devastating. But when Wade wasn’t busy helping other people and being a good citizen of New York, he drank. A lot.

“Whiskey.” He said to the bartender who rose a brow.

“Do you want me to call you a cab buddy?” Wade sighed and shook his head.

“No, I’m fine.” He was about three drinks away from passing out, and he was so so desperate to pass out. The bartender set down the whiskey and Wade downed it in one large gulp. It burned his throat but he didn’t care. The world spun and he tapped the glass. The bartender hesitantly refilled it and then Wade tipped the amber liquid back.He was supposed to go visit Tony tomorrow, Wade was hoping he’d never wake up. Next thing he knew, he was sliding off his seat and body crashing to the floor.

-

“What are you doing?” Wade spun around and there was Peter, sitting on the bottom bunk in May’s apartment and scowling.

“Trying to see you.” Wade said and Peter shook his head.

“You can’t keep doing this Wade.” Peter snapped and Wade shrugged.

“it takes the edge off, seeing you.”

“I don’t care, you can’t waste your life away for me.” Peter said and crossed his arms. Wade wished he could touch Peter, wished he could hold him.

“Steve is still trying to figure out a way to bring you back.” Wade told him and Peter groaned.

“You both need to stop, I’m serious. He’s not allowed to keep this up, it’s been what-five years?” Wade nodded and Peter shook his head, mostly looking disappointed.

“it’s all we have Peter. Looking for a way to bring you and everyone back, it’s all that’s left.”

“No it isn’t. you could move on and be happy and and-“ he was panicking and Wade tried to go to him but was stopped by some invisible barrier. Peter shuddered and glared at Wade, but the room was getting blurrier. Peter was becoming translucent-Wade was waking up.

“Petey?” he asked and Peter spoke but Wade didn’t hear it. the real world came rushing back to him and Peter was gone.

-

Steve took a steadying breath as Natasha parked the car in Tony’s driveway.

“You alright?” she asked and Steve found himself nodding.

“Yeah, it’s just-what do I say?”

“Sorry?” She suggested and Steve snorted. Like that would make up for it.

“This is going to work Steve, but only if we have Tony’s brain to help us.” She murmured and Steve sighed.

“What if he says no?”

“Then we figure out a way to persuade him.” Steve got out of the car and saw a little girl with brown hair and a tutu running around.

“Who’s that?” Steve asked and Natasha frowned.

“I don’t know.” Steve spotted Wade, chasing the little girl and both Wade and the girl fell silent and stopped once they had spotted Steve.

“Steve?” Wade’s brows rose and Steve forced a smile.

“Hey Wade.” And then Tony stepped outside, a smile on his face.

-

Tony stepped outside expecting to see Wade and Morgan playing, instead they were looking at the driveway. When Tony turned he saw Steve who was in a leather jacket and looking as gorgeous as ever. Once again Tony was overcome with all the love and desire he felt for the blonde man, who was forcing a smile and looked extremely uncomfortable.

“what are you doing here?” Tony asked and Steve’s blue eyes snapped to Tony. Tony saw his face soften and felt relieved to know that Steve was still in love with Tony.

“I need to talk to you about something.” Steve said and Tony heard nerves in his voice. For a second, Tony thought Steve was asking for another chance. A chance Tony would give in a heartbeat, but then he spotted Natasha and knew that that wasn’t what Steve was here for.

“What?” he asked and made his way to Morgan, scooping her up in his arms. Steve clenched his jaw at that, clearly putting two and two together.

-

Steve’s brain was short circuiting at the sight of Tony with what Steve presumed to be his daughter. She was adorable, and Tony’s face lit up when he looked at her. Steve wondered if there was someone else? Had Tony completely moved on? Found a new partner and adopted a new child, completely started life from scratch?

“We’ve got a lead.” Wade reacted first, a flinch and Tony stared at Steve.

“No.”

“Tony I need your help.” Steve pleaded and Tony shook his head.

“I told you once and I didn’t think that I’d need to repeat myself when I said that I didn’t want to be disappointed again. Steve you can’t just show up here and say you have a lead.”

“Think about Peter, I can’t do this without you.” Steve said and Tony shook his head.

“shouldn’t we let him rest in peace?” Tony asked and Steve shook his head.

“He shouldn’t have died and we can bring him back. I just need you to trust me, do you still trust me?” Steve’s voice shook with each word and he hated how desperate he sounded. Tony didn’t need Steve, but Steve needed Tony and that fact terrified him. But he couldn’t focus on that, he had the opportunity to bring back Peter, and he fully intended on taking advantage of that opportunity.

“Of course I still trust you Steve.” Tony said, and Steve smiled gently.

“Just hear us out, alright?” Steve asked and Tony nodded his head, his hair had gotten longer and Steve was filled with longing. It had been a long five years without him.

“alright.” And then Tony was leading them inside, and Steve’s heart filled with hope.

#superhero #superfamily #super husbands #stony #stony fic #The Avengers #Avengers #avengers fic #avengers fluff #avengers angst #tony stark #tony stark rogers #Steve Rogers #steve stark rogers #Iron Man #captain america #peterparker #we are a family fic #wade wilson #deadpool #spiderman #spideypool

[period-dramallama]

A skim read of jean plaidy’s St Thomas Eve

For @thalassodromid bc this is our Niche

General thoughts on quality (TLDR)

-First off, I should give this book something of a pass because it was written 60+ years ago. Historical research, like science, Marches On.

-I skimmed it because i was not loving the style. There’s very little description, the pacing feels like This Happened And Then This Happened. With this story, you should have a sense of the stakes, the tension. It lacks atmosphere.

-This book really didn’t spark much emotion in me. I was heartwarmed and amused, but never frightened, horrified, fascinated or upset. I felt no panic when Meg got the sweat. 

-Honestly i was so bored I started wondering if maybe this is too difficult a story to tell, because i came in loving these historical figures and wanting content. How bored must the unobsessed reader be?

-Show don’t tell, Jean! Don’t tell me everyone’s very upset, show me them upset. Don’t tell me Meg loves Thomas, show their bond. Don’t tell me everyone loves Thomas for his honesty, show me him helping his neighbours.

-To be fair, there’s a lot to get through in 260 pages.

-I just love how historical fiction pulp novels have Book Club questions at the back. It just feels rather cocky, imo. Like you think your book is Deep enough for me to sit and ponder the characters. Like there was a question that was something like: “do you prefer Katherine of Aragon or Anne Boleyn” which was kind of hilarious because the whole book it was Poor Loyal Old Ugly Katherine and Six Fingered Anne Boleyn Is A Minx And Wants Thomas More Dead

Pet peeves

-at the beginning of the book, it says “Secretly Henry VII was unbothered by his wife’s death” or something along those lines. Given that Henry VII locked himself away after Elizabeth died and his mum had to step in and rule because he stopped functioning, this left a bitter taste in my mouth. Henry VII in this book is a Mean Evil Miser so of course he can’t love or be loved by a Good Woman.

-John More jnr being described as the family dunce. To be fair, maybe the book came out before we knew he was a translator too, but STILL. Don’t put John down to raise the girls up. He is valid too. 

-the language is what my old tutor would call ‘mock Tudor’. I think it was expected at the time that you had to try and make the language authentic- The Blanket of the Dark and the Man on a Donkey both use Tudor language. It really made the dialogue annoying. Lots of ‘tis and ‘twas and it was this close to beshrew me verily and hey fucking nonny nonny. Every time Alice said fuckign ‘Tilly valley’ I went AAAARGGGH. JUST HAVE HER SAY THE WORD ‘NONSENSE’. There’s a happy middle, imo, between too Tudor and too modern, and it’s quite a broad middle, you can move around a lot in it, but there are limits. 

-SPEAKING OF ALICE. Her character introduction was so good- first described as ‘an authoritative feminine voice’ *chef’s kiss* she stops a fainting Jane from being trampled at Henry’s coronation, accompanies her home and cares for her while simultaneously lowkey roasting her interior decoration. But then she becomes a bit of a caricature. When Meg gets the sweat she nags her for going near anyone who might have the sweat. The book club questions say ‘there’s more to her than meets the eye’ THEN SHOW ME MORE THAN ONE SIDE OF HER. Also Thomas loves her even though she’s ‘rude and stupid’ but Meg doesn’t understand why. Grr. 

-”mistress middleton will hear you [2 year old John] crying and box your ears” NO NO NO NO NO!

-also i get a 1950s Spanking Children Is Good Parenting vibe because Alice hits the Morelings with a slipper if they don’t study, and Tm’s described as too much of “a coward” (literally the word coward is used) to hit his children other than with peacock feathers.

-Utopia being described as an ideal state...it’s really more than that. I don’t like the idea that Meg and Thomas were okay with religious toleration but then Thomas became Consumed With Hate and he says “well religious toleration would be great in an IDEAL state...”

-Meg being horrified by heretic burning. Maybe the evidence of her views wasn’t yet available and so social mores of the 50s meant that writers and historians assumed that Of Course Being a Delicate Woman She Would Have A Natural Desire For Peace And Mercy. Grr.

-Too romancey. To be fair, Jean Plaidy wrote a lot of historical romances so maybe that’s just what she’s comfortable with (and these are historical figures that never get a chance to shine) but between Meg and Will, Clement and Mercy, Joan and Thomas, Giles and Cecily... it’s a bit like Pearl Harbour in that it’s hard to care about the cute romance when men are getting burned alive in the background. A good historical romance is more like Titanic: the lovers are directly connected with the Big Historical Events ongoing. Skip!

-in this book, Mercy thinks to herself that Meg would have Tm sign the oath, but Mercy would prefer tm to do as his conscience dictates...that feels like the wrong way round.

-Erasmus and Thomas More speaking in English...Doubt.jpeg. 

-Thomas More muses on how Complex men are because there’s Proud Cold Thomas Howard who is Soft for Simple Launderess Bess Holland...yeah given the multiple colossal power imbalances in that real-life affair, I’d be very surprised if it never strayed into abuse.

-baby Meg is a lil too precocious.

-dying Joan tells Meg to look after her father, no Joan stop I love you but don’t give a six year old responsibility, I don’t care if she’s six but acts eleven, looking after TM is Alice’s job not Meg’s. 

-Tm using the phrase ‘our little secret’ with Meg. The context is not abusive, but the phrase is so weighted, it’s like referring to something as “a final solution”: the famous meaning is too horrifying to feel comfortable with that combination of words in any context at all. 

-Joan’s younger sister being described as beautiful and flirtatious, and the whole bit about More fancying the younger sister but going for the older out of honour. The book says that More’s fascination with joan’s sister is the reason he realised he couldn’t be a priest. Given Joan’s 16, her sister’s 15 at the oldest, possibly 14. So a 26 year old can’t be a priest because he’s lusting after a 14-15 year old girl who is attractive and who has been flirting with him. Squick. 

-also no mention of erasmus at the end of tm’s life. Boo. I think a dude in the tower would think about his BFF of 30+ years who he hasn’t seen for 10+ years 

Good bits

-It’s obviously unintentional, but given how the word ‘gay’ has changed, i gave a little cheer every time a character was described as gay. Cecily and John are both gay, Thomas More is very gay, and later in the book wishes he could go back to being gay again. Loving the accidental representation 

-”a boy who is not worth the tossing” i have a dirty mind ok

-Joan getting something of a personality! She even feels insecure because she’s a normal person stuck in a family of geniuses.

-George Boleyn is described as being ‘a bright boy’ and later the girls joke that if they meet him they’ll probably fall in love THIS SO REFRESHING. Otoh, Mary Boleyn is slutshamed and Anne is a scheming minx so the double standard does spoil it a little. 

-Thomas More makes puns! At one point Alice says “more’s the pity” and then immediately says “don’t you dare make a pun out of that. i know u will. DON’T I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR PUNS” Granted, Plaidy stresses that his wit is never cruel or mocking (Doubt.jpeg) but i think this is maybe the funniest More. 

-It acknowledges the heretic burning! Not bad for 1950-something. At the end there’s a sort of Hm Thomas More Is A Complex Dude How Do We Approach Him page from H8′s POV.

-More’s father getting all misty-eyed when his son becomes Chancellor

-Henry VIII kissing tm’s forehead

-the flogging of the mentally ill upskirter being depicted

-Wolsey not being a caricature but a worldly and practical man. He’s explicitly described as “not a bad man”

-”He [TM] was no Erasmus, who, having thrown the stone that shattered the glass of orthodox thought, must run and hide himself lest he should be hurt by the splinters” not a very fair way to depict Erasmus (as he spent a lot of the last decades of his life arguing against Luther and trying to mediate between religious factions, esp in Basel) However, I like the metaphor

-Meg talking about how she and her sisters will always compare men unfavourably to their father... understandable.

-More explaining why Heretic Burning is Good Actually is done well

-Meg pointing out that More and Erasmus both criticised the Church, only it’s a bit half-baked because More never experiences any doubt or crisis over it. 

-Meg being torn between the Lutheran and the Catholic men she loves is at least some conflict and stakes when it finally shows up.

-Alice standing trial for dogknapping on page 195. A Big Lipped Alligator Moment, and I’ve no idea the source (i doubt Plaidy would make it up completely, it’s so out of nowhere) but it’s fun. It feels like one of More’s ‘merry tales’

“[Erasmus] read aloud to Thomas when he came home; and sometimes Thomas would sit by his friend’s bed with Margaret on one side of him and Mercy on the other; he would put an arm about them both, and when he laughed and complimented Erasmus so that Erasmus’ pale face was flushed with pleasure, then Margaret believed that there was all the happiness in the world in that room.” my emotions! my emotions! my ship is sailing, i repeat, the ship is sailing!

-”Meg, this is one of the happiest days of my life. it is a day I shall remember on the day i die. i shall say to myself when i find death near me: ‘the great erasmus said that of my daughter, my meg.’”

-”So the King likes verses!” said mistress middleton, her voice softening a little. 

“Ah, madam,” said Thomas. “What the King likes today, may we hope Mistress Middleton will like tomorrow?” Do I smell... flirtation...

-”His face was pleasant and kindly, [Alice] concluded....She would like to feed him some of her possets, put a layer of fat on his bones with her butter.” Does this version of Alice have a feeding kink I definitely think, in this ‘verse, Tm and Alice are 100% having sex.

-John Colet’s in it, though described as tm’s confessor (who i think was actually grocyn or linacre)

-Alice clearing a path for a fainting Jane with “Stand aside, you oafs.” alexa, play X gon give it to you. 

#historical fiction #warning: very very long post

[blaurascon-kzk]

KZK Discord Digest [Week of Nov 22 - Nov 28]

SUMMARY: Work's still progressing on the LE Kirins. Some previews for the Aeterna (Time) one in this post! Kat's made a channel in the Discord specifically for posting quick WIP shots and previews while he's working. I likely won't be covering that channel in the Digests, given 1. there are a lot and 2. there are still WIP shots in Announcements, but we'll see. In the meantime, you'll have to check out the Discord to see em. Links in my SL profile. We migrated our databases to a new host the other day. The old host had been giving us fits for a long while, from downtime to failed purchases, but the recent streak of "vendors going offline and unable to come back online if we had to reboot anything" was the last straw. New host is much more robust than the old one - you'll notice this in faster purchase times, and if vendors need to reboot, they'll come back up faster. In addition, we'll be able to add item descriptions again! We weren't able to have these for quite a while due to issues with the old host. We'll get those updated soon as we have a bit of spare time. One caveat: If you happen to have any Vouchers left over from old events (e.g. the Sweetheart vouchers from Valentine's where you choose an avatar color), those will no longer work. They need to talk to the databases & don't have the right configuration now. You can manually redeem them from Kat if you need. Similarly, any vendors that we missed updating will no longer be able to properly talk to the item servers. If you happen across a vendor that seems to be failing to deliver an item, let us know so we can update it!

______

Nov 22

KatLast Friday at 5:09 PM @everyone So one of the final 4 kirins to be release is Aeterna, the avatar of Time. Here's a quick concept doodle for it. It wears a mask resembling a ram's head, and the horns are notched like a gear or cog.

For the design, I wanted something that looked aged and wise, yet still had a regal air to it. its main colors will be bronze, gold, copper, and maroon.

KatLast Friday at 8:31 PM @everyone So tonight I was approached by a fellow KZK community member and friend, with a simple request to help them troubleshoot a rig. After trial and error, a solution was found and they were well on their way toward finishing a project that had been plaguing them for weeks.

And herein lies the problem. The individual, who will remain nameless, who rigged this model, seems to have taken umbrage to me assisting.

I don't understand this mentality. I don't understand why they're upset, or why they're taking it out on the person who asked me for help.

KZK wouldn't be where it was were it not for the contributions of many before me. Everything I've learned, I learned from youtube videos, forum tutorials, and industry leaders like Michael "Orb" Vicente, most famous for his 'Orb_Cracks' brush that basically every major game studio uses these days(I'm not kidding).

Im also not afraid to admit when I'm wrong, or when I don't understand something. Years ago, I didn't know how to make good LODs, until members of this very community gave me information that made it possible.

Point I'm trying to make is, and the reason I'm posting this: If you don't know something, reach out. Its not dumb to not know something. Its dumb to not ask for help, because it just makes you look close minded and ignorant. Don't punish others for your ignorance, because the files I worked with tonight were new territory for me. I had the missing piece to the puzzle and progress was made.

Art and progress can't exist in a vacuum. There's entire generations of others who came long before you did--And there'll be plenty more to follow in your footsteps and eventually surpass you. Its why I'm always so eager to help. always eager to teach, because someone else was kind enough to teach me.

This has been your latest 'Old man shouts at clouds', brought to you by Kat who needs another cup of coffee.

KatLast Friday at 8:39 PM @everyone Also, if you're new to KZK, or not familiar with this: Sometimes a topic will come up, or something will happen that sorta.. just sets me off.

I'm 'famous', at least as far as the furry community in Second life is concerned. I could use that power for evil, but I dont. Instead I use it to try and spread a message from time to time. Today's lesson just happened to be about 'learning to learn', a subject that's always been near and dear to me.

You can ignore these kinds of posts if you want, but if you do read them, Please take them either with a grain of salt, or to heart. up to you. Its just important for me to raise awareness for issues like this from time to time.

______

Nov 24

KatLast Sunday at 1:57 AM @everyone Kinda dawned on me tonight that I wanted to make a channel where I could post updates and teasers to ongoing projects too minor/frequent to place into announcements(I don't like sending too many too often).

So, I've added a new channel to the General tab, called #teasers-and-wips. Reactions are enabled, but replies are disabled--you can share feedback in #general chat.  Enjoy!

KatLast Sunday at 5:25 AM @everyone My progress for today on the Aeterna Kirin. I've got the rings already modelled, just need to uv unwrap them and get them baked out once I get some sculpted detail onto them. Then its on to the floaty bits of fabric, which should go quickly, and lastly a new set of fur assets to make this old soul look wiry and wise. I'm particularly tickled with the skull so far. While definitely not true to a goat's skull, as intended, I much prefer the visage this design gives and I hope you all do too!

The skull and horns (and all other parts), will be static(with a bento alternative tail included, per the norm), so you'll be free to rip everything apart and repurpose it as your heart desires!

______

Nov 25

KatLast Monday at 6:16 PM @everyone Progress on the Aeterna is probably 95% at this point. The skin/body textures in use are not final(jsut using the chocolate textures so its not solid white), and I still gotta add the belly scales and make the asset for the maroon fabric hanging from the rings all over. I'm pretty stoked with how these hair assets came out. Also fun little side effect, when you remove the mask/horns, it looks like a cool kirin/zebra witch doctor kinda, so hey, some modding potentiall there for people.

Bonus: No mask

______

Nov 27

KatYesterday at 3:37 AM @everyone Hey reminder that there's a snazzy new #teasers-and-wips channel where I post progress on upcoming projects! I've been posting my recent progress on the Nova, complete with some behind the scenes  showing how I create assets that contribute to larger items. Its good fun!

KatYesterday at 4:35 AM @everyone At this moment, we're performing some server migration for our databases(We've got backups this time I promise!), so purchasing will be unavailable.

For those curious, we've had many vendors crashing and not coming back online in recent months. We originally suspected this to be a Second Life issue but it traced back to recent changes our host made, effectively crippling our servers.

We're migrating to a new host, and internal testing has already shown faster purchases, vendor boots, and the restoration of a long missing feature, item descriptions!!

We'll give the all clear once migration is done.

KatYesterday at 7:20 AM @everyone It is 7:15 in the morning, and Flame and I have powered through the night (although this is his day), to chase down a MYRIAD of issues that have been plaguing our system for the last several years. The crashing and failure to boot was definitely the nail in the coffin So this had to happen sooner or later.

BUT! We're ..technically code orange. The migration is complete, and as of the time of this writing, only the MAIN STORE KZK vendors and DIREWOLF Vendors have been updated to cache to the new server.

ANY Purchases made from ANY OTHER KZK vendor WILL NOT DELIVER at this time. I will be fixing the remaining vendors grid-wide once I've gone and copped a few hours of beauty sleep. This includes all KZK Multi-category vendors, and ALL Single prim vendors besides the Direwolves.

ALSO: If you are in possession of a voucher, they will no longer deliver items! There is no way to fix these going forward besides doing a manual delivery of the desired item(in exchange for the in-tact, unused voucher). All future vouchers going forward will use the new system.

TLDR: Only kzk main vendors work in Okarthel, as well as direwolves. Everything else is still fucked and im too tired to bother. I'll deal with those in the morning(after ive slept) (any purchases made to off-site vendors will be manually redelivered tomorrow as well, so if you wanna avoid failed purchases, just use Okarthel)

Flame SoulisYesterday at 7:35 AM Do note though that vendors and vouchers will continue to be recorded. All we have to do is re-add the purchase/item redemption to the newer system and your item will deliver.

So, in short, your purchase will be recorded if purchased outside the main store. It'll just be delayed until someone can update the newer system.

KatYesterday at 8:08 PM @everyone Took all day but I think I've managed to track down all active locations. All vendors, including the single prim stuff, has been switched over. In the event you find a vendor that fails to deliver properly, please let me or blau know.

Current vendor versions are 1.94(sergal and normal), and 1.51 for the stone pillar ones.

you are now free to move about the cabin. Now if you'll excuse me, I need more coffee and food. Stupid blood sugar @-@

#kzk-dd #kzk

[jiminstanbxtch]

Jikook Fic Rec ;; The one and only.

Well, hello everyone! As a Jikook shipper I always had rough times when searching and finding fics. So, don't worry! I got u covered ;)

This is the definently, the on and only post you were looking for, it has from angst shit to romcom.

Anyway, enjoy!

Tastes Like Victory — 170k Words, 13 Parts, Completed, Top!JK ;; By Eumorious

Summary:

"You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole. "

Jeon Jeongguk's, a successful underground fighter, life collides with the damaged, vulnerable stripper Park Jimin who needs training on how to fight and defend himself against his clients. Jeongguk is the perfect candidate for the job.

The Omega Revolution — 158K Words, 16 Parts, Completed, Top!JK ;; By PinkBTS

There are things Jimin loves. There are things Jimin Hates. In the middle of a shifting world, Jeon Jeongguk manages to be both.

ABO Dynamics.

All Your Glory — 104K Words, 11 Parts, Completed, Top!JK ;; By Eumorious

Jeongguk and Jimin's families have been rivals for decades, immersed into a life of extreme fortune and success. They've been groomed, since birth, to feel nothing but resentment and hatred for each other. Despite knowing that they're not allowed to interact, that they're meant to be competitors and nothing more — they can't help coming back to each other. Through the years, since teenagers, they cant help the intense attraction they feel towards each other.

Glass Diamond — 18K Words, OneShot, Top!JK;; By GinForInk

Jungkook accidentally fired his skateboard through the window of a dance studio.

The Bet — 46K Words, 11 Parts, Completed;; By jonghyunslisterine

Where Jeon Jungkook makes a bet that he can get the notoriously single Park Jimin to sleep with him by the end of the semester.

Needless to say, things don't go exactly as planned.

Once Upon a Timeshare — 32K Words, 5 Parts, Completed;; By Namakemono

Jungkook is in desperate need of a vacation, but spending two weeks in Namjoon and Hoseok's timeshare in Okinawa with his recently separated ex of three years was probably (Definitely) not what he had in mind.

White T-shirt And Brown Timberlands — 11K, OneShot;; By Rose_gold715

Jimin is filing for divorce after eight years with Jungkook. He needs to let go, and yet, he wants to hold on a little longer.

Leave Your Mark — 112K Words, 15 Parts, Completed, Top!Jk;; By snarcsics

Put of the three patients within Namjoon's lab, Jungkook is the one Jimin finds the most frightening, yet shamelessly intriguing. Even as a beta, there's something distinctly animalistic about Jungkook that does not bode well for Jimin

Riptide — (Canon fic) 62K Words, 18 Parts, Completed;; By peppermint_wind

Jeon Jungkook is still just a kid when he sets out for Seoul. He knows about the tall buildings, the make-like roadway, and dorm life he's signed up for. He expects the difficulties of being a trainee, finds it in the holes of his worn out dance shoes and countless sleepless nights. But what he doesn't expect, could never expect, is meeting Park Jimin.

It's then Jungkook realizes that there's more to learn in Seoul than dance coreographies: about growing up, falling in love, and about himself.

Time Slip — (Canon fic) 29K Words, 3 Parts, Completed;; By Namakemono

Jimin wakes up in the year 2017, wich is very strange, considering the fact that last time he checked it was 2013.

International Playboy (Don't Answer) — 119K, 21 Parts, Ongoing;; By blt_prf

oH

I FUCHKED UP

I FU

UCKED UP

YOUR'E NOT NAMJOON

yeah

what I've been trying to tell you

Or

The one in wich Jimin manages to mess up everything in one night and accidentally text the guy he has a crush on.

Falling For You Again — 30K Words, 4 Part, Completed ;;By Rose_gold715

Jungkook loses all memory of the last five years of his life.

Jimin is scared he will never love him again.

No masters or Kings — 10K Words, OneShot, Top!Jk ;; By petrichorian

"So, does that mean..." Jeongguk says, voice deep and tentative. "Is this gonna become a thing?"

"This?"

"Us fucking at weddings?"

Mono No Aware — 104K Words, 10 Parts, Completed;; By Eumorious

Jimin and Jeongguk were only 18 when they moved to New York City and got married, sure they were soulmates and destined to last forever. Four unfortunate years later, they're divorced and haven't seen a single sight of each other. That is until Jimin's signed as a model in the company Jeongguk works as a photographer for.

Peaches and Cream — 2K Words, OneShot;; By jiminlogy

The story of how booty shorts ruined Jeongguk's life.

Practice — 5K Words, OneShot;; By Orphan_account

Jungkook is fed up with being inexperienced.

Jimin helps him out.

Wish You Were Here — 28K Words, 7 Parts, Completed, Top!JK ;; By orphan_account

Jungkook clicked on his picture. And wow. Taehyung was right for once. The dude was gorgeous. His name was Jimin. He was Korean, like them and he had really pretty smile. Pretty enough that Jungkook actually felt nervous.

"He's really cute. What do I say?" Jungkook asked.

Jokes on You (I'm in Love) —2K Words, OneShot;; By NaHe

Jimin plays a prank on Jungkook for his YouTube channel, expecting him to get angry but jungkook has always has a soft spot for his hyung. Things don't go as planned.

And Back Again —3K, OneShot, Top!JK ;; By novilunar

Jimin wishes he could stay away from Jungkook.

Your Body is a Place to Stay — 8K Words, OneShot, Dad!JK ;; By jonghyunslisterine

In wich Jungkook juggles a five year old daughter, Jimin the pretty bookstore employee, and coworkers who like to tease him too much.

Black Rabbit — 166K Words, 23 Parts, Ongoing, Top!JK ;; By vlevxn

Park Jimin inherits an overwhelming amount of gambling debt after his father passes away.

Fortunately, Jeon Jeongguk is willing to make a deal with him.

Arrangement Null and Void — 58K Words, 15 Parts, Complete, Top!Jk ;;By Holymotherofduck

Jungkook is the prince of the north. Dutiful to his position and passionate about his kingdom. When his parents announce they have found him a partner he is not surprised it is a member of the south kingdom. They had spoken for years on a union between the two sides of their country. What he does not expect is for that person to be a prince, in the same position he is and with the same passion. Prince Park Jimin. Unfortunately their views differ greatly and Jungkook has little respect for the south's soft approach, but Jimin is a prince just like him and will not stand by and let him have his way. 

Blood, Love & Tears —51K Words, 9 Parts, ongoing, Top!JK;; By Iamconfusion

You would think Jimin's life is like any other broke, 23 years old university student.

1. He has the craziest bestfriends.

2. He works a waitersjob at a highclass club.

3. He caught the interest of Jeon Jungkook.

Maybe it’s not so ordinary afterall.

This is Another Jikook Mafia au.

Of Piercings and Costumes — 4K Words, ongoing, Top!Jk ;; By zzmijetina

Everything Kim Taehyung does, makes Jimin's life a living hell.

Or maybe not exactly everything he does.

My Honey, you Taste so Sweet — 83k Words, 7 Parts, Ongoing, Top!JK ;; By MyHops (Cutesyme)

Namjoon agrees. “Jeon Jungkook was small and meek. Everyone was surprised when we heard he was sent away for the initiation ritual because he wasn’t strong enough to be a threat to Head Alpha Jeon so why send him away?”

“All of us gave up hope on him the first day he was gone and we were sure he was dead when he didn’t come back after a month,” Head Alpha Park says and adds. “Apparently we all underestimated him. If all Jeon Jungkook needed to become strong enough to murder his father was one year in the forest, then what can he do now? What did he even do in that year?”

(Where Jimin only wants to find his soulmate but there is a war threatening him every second of his life)

Baby, Love me Hard and Hold me Tight — 50K Words, OneShot, Top!Jk ;; By MyHope (CutesyMe)

“If you can’t say no to the arranged marriage then make him say no,” Hoseok suggests, closing his book.

Jimin turns to him. “What do you mean?”

“You said you can’t say no because your parents will most probably stop supporting you and thus ruin your future, which we aren’t sure of by the way. That means if you can’t say no, then Jeon Jungkook has to. They can force you into marrying Jeon Jungkook but most probably not Jeon Jungkook into marrying you.”

“And how do I do that?” Jimin asks. He isn’t sure if Jungkook can say no to the marriage but Jimin at least has to try to get out of this.

“Embarrass him. But don’t make it too obvious what you’re doing. Be clumsy, be loud, laugh like a dying hyena. Those are the least bearable people.”

Taehyung's Little Black Book — 61K Words, 8 Parts, Completed, Top!JK ;; By neverhelast

Have you ever heard of the term ‘black book’? It’s a secret list of phone numbers, addresses or other contact information a ladies’ man keeps of women who wouldn’t mind to meet up, and Jungkook was certain Taehyung had it.

Okay, it’s not a legit ‘black book’ per se. It wasn't even a real address book and the list wasn’t of women. Aside from his parents and a few company workers that checked up on him, the list consisted of several guys Jungkook would describe as the people Taehyung trusted the most – his real friends.

Or

Taehyung cashes in an old favor and makes Jimin pose as Jungkook's fake boyfriend. Jungkook had no idea in what kind of mess he got himself into just to make Yugyeom jealous. Despite his fear, he finds something way more precious along the way.

Run Into a Sin — 85K Words, 6 Parta, Completed, Top!JK ;; By Eumorious

Jimin and Jeongguk are roommates from two separate worlds. Jimin is an introvert, Jeongguk is an extrovert. Being university students and struggling to pay rent, bills and tuition fees means they are compelled to turn to one last solution: entering a homemade porn contest for money.

[loveisalwayswise]

The 100 Ask Game

I was tagged by @foreverandalwayscrysis! Thank you ;)

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from? Probably Factory station because my parents both work in insurance and there’s nothing like it on the ark, but since I’m training to be a chemical engineer, I’d probably transfer to Mecha or Hydra.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark? Stealing medecine/supplies to help someone.

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground? No, I’d keep it because I’d probably follow Clarke everywhere haha.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..) A lynx

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be? Wells, without hesitation. Or Roan. My boys.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? Clarke, Bellamy, Murphy, Wells and Roan

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to? Floukru

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? I have no idea how my name would be changed (it’s Ariane so? maybe add an h? or an apostrophe somewhere?)

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious. I never liked him. I disliked him from the moment he got the kids killed in the pilot. It was obviously a bad idea to go floating around in a falling space shuttle.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? I would’ve been completely unwilling. I don’t even drink alcohol, the chip would horrify me.

11. What character do you relate to most? 100% Clarke and it always will be. I’m the kind of person who looks at the pragmatic solution first and foremost.

12. What character do you like the least? Is this even a question? E/cho. Always E/cho. The best moment of my life was when Roan banished her, and the worst was when they decided to bring her to space so that she could survive. Fuck that.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical) Jeans, sneakers, a warm shirt and a blue pastel rain coat (with many hidden pockets)

14. Favorite type of mutant animal? I loved the underwater animal they encountered in the pilot even if we never really saw it, and I would love to see more, even if I wouldn’t want to see it in real life.

15. What would your job be on the Ark? Chemical engineer

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked? Yes, and I probably would’ve volunteered before she asked.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive, then who would have made the best commander? I really love Roan, but maybe Indra or Luna (before she went “let everyone die”)

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty? I’d probably go hide in a corner until it was over

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach? More like Bellamy.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone? The political system on the ark seems a little bit broken (which political system isn’t?), but if I had to choose, I’d prefer either s1 Abby or s2 Kane.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis? Kane. I wouldn’t have been on Pike’s side at all, but even after all this time, I still dislike the Grounder society, so I wouldn’t want abide by their rules in Polis.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s iPod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there? Anything that could be used to play music and/or play games and/or read a lot of books. 

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? I wouldn’t have any war paint, but I would probably get tattoos on both my arms, I’d want them to be really intricate, and abstract. I’d probably wear my hair loose or in a French braid.

24. Favorite quote? I have so many! It’s either "You may be the chancellor, but I'm in charge” (Clarke), "Maybe life should be about more than just surviving." (Clarke) or "Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things" (Bellamy)

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? It depends on the season of the show. In s1, I’d said probably a grounder (Roan, Indra, Luna and Lexa would definitely be in the finals). By the end of s2, I’d say Clarke or Bellamy might have a chance. By s3, Clarke would be the clear winner for me.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non-canon ship? 

Least favorite: B/echo 

Favorite canon ship: Marper

Favorite non-canon: Bellarke. Always.

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo? My swiftie side is showing, but anything involving Taylor Swift would make me very happy.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time? I’d probably spend all my time trying to figure out how to get out of there? Because since we’d be two in the bunker, the food supply would go out twice as fast and we’d probably starve if we stayed as long as Murphy did.

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die? In an epic duel (that I almost won, if only my opponent hadn’t cheated) with the villain of the season, a sword through the heart. It makes the delinquents want revenge for my death. ;) ;) ;)

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of? I know he’s dead, but Roan. I really wanted to learn more about his past.

31. A character you’d bang? Bellamy or Roan or Wells.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden? Before s5 I would’ve said space, but now I want to stay with Clarke and Madi on the ground, and never have to worry about other people ever again (or at least until 6 years later)

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground? Yes, but after the cannibal thing, I probably would’ve made myself as small as possible so that she wouldn’t notice me. Ever. I’d go in complete stealth mode.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits? Trying to cover for someone who spoke up against Bloreina or did something that would get them in the pits (like stealing).

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with? I’d bond with Monty for sure, and I wouldn’t get along with E/cho at all.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself? I’d die within 3 days. Because water. And not being able to find it.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do? I’d probably watch from a distance, hidden, to see who they are and what they’re doing. I’d probably realize that they outnumber me, so I’d show myself because there is nowhere else to go on the planet. 

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite? DIYOZA!!! SHE’S THE BEST!!! And my least favourite is McCreary (obviously).

39. Would you Spacewalk? Not if it used up vital oxygen, but if I could, I would. I love space.

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat? Algea

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it? No, which is why I would show myself to Eligius in the first place. I don’t want to go to war, and I since I’d be alone against them, I prefer following their rules than trying to take them out.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes? Neither? Neither? Neither? Please can I do neither?

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia? I have a brother, and if my brother tried to do what Octavia did to Bellamy, I would poison him. And hope it wouldn’t kill him. But even if I needed to stop him, I would never intentionally be able to kill him. I’d probably even try to stop attempts on his life. So really... don’t count me in to try and stop Octavia if she’s my sister.

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper? Cryo. 

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet? Clarke, Bellamy, Murphy and Diyoza. The rest can stay asleep, but I would try to eject E/cho into space at some point.

tagging @hopewolves, @anne-shirley-blythe, @talistheintrovert, @goddess-clarke, @aainiouu, @goosexdanvers, @clarkgriffon, @chants-de-lune, @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky and @prophecy-gurl 

#tag game

[saddntiredd]

21.

.

Take 1..

At 15, my best friend, jenn of 11 years committed sluiced. I didn’t know then how badly this would affect me until later in my life. I remember then being angry. I remember shutting down and staying far away from people as much as possible. I stopped going to school and dedicated my time to exercise and being alone. At 16 I met someone who, to this day, is the most important person in my life. I believe in the depths of my soul, Jenn gave her to me. And honestly, it saved my life.

Her name is Hannah. The most beautiful, complex, intellectually and artistically intelligent human being I have met in this lifetime and I am blessed that we have had the opportunity to cross paths. Hannah is the type of person that is not like any other. She glows with radiance of overflowing love and compassion. A person who would break for you over and over if she knew it would give your soul peace. The definition of selfless. Absolute Pure gold.

I believe Hannah is the only person on this planet who understands me without physical spoken words. She has never judged me and has accepted me and the baggage that follows behind. Genuine, and honest. I believe everyone has a soulmate, and not always in an intimate way. Hannah is an example of this.

The saying it’s either black or white does not describe me best, but grey area does. I am always stuck in the middle and stuck in the war of head vs. Heart. It’s exhausting. Not that I’m indecisive, but because I feel to much, too often. Being sensitive is awful. Human beings are selfish and I’m having a really hard time finding where I belong. I guess you can say I’m lost. How cliché.

At 18, I loathed myself. The way I thought, the way I did things, the way I looked. I just plain and simply despised my entire existence. It ruined me and ruined a lot of relationships. It destroyed me and everyone else who knocked on the door. “Go away” was me favourite phrase. I bottled everything inside so tightly, and screwed the lid on so snug I was certain it would never be able to open. I have never liked confrontation. Apparently not even with myself. My image of myself was distorted so badly I believed I wasn’t good enough. I felt so small that Nothing I did or said was of any importance to anyone. I continually felt like a burden not only to myself but to everyone around me.

I’ve grown since then but I’m still tired of feeling invalid, and not getting recognized for what I’ve been doing bu only for what I’ve been doing wrong instead. I pour myself empty for people. I’m aware I should stop this, but it feels so nice to see others happy even though it’s destroying me. I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal challenges this year and I honestly feel defeated. I’ve been choosing things that aren’t good for me, and knowing this but not being able to stop. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY do I continue on this path of self distraction I choose it every time. I feel like a puzzle piece that just won’t fit into the spot that you’re so certain is suppose to belong there. The cut is perfect, that shape is just right but for some reason I am not flush with the rest of the puzzle and will only stay with force. How annoying. Hannah once said to me “I don’t hate my life. I hate THIS life” and I’ve never related to something more before. That’s why we’re soulmates. Because she understands and feels me on a different level that most human beings can not comprehend.

At 21, I feel empty, confused and frustrated. But doesn’t every 21 year old? This is different. I just don’t belong here and it fucks with me everyday. Does anyone really understand how painful it feels to feel empty but not know what will fill me? How horrible it is to feel confused about my purpose and why I’m here and not have answers to help find a solution? The fact that I am so aware but I don’t know all at the same time is why I am grey.

I’m just so tired of waking up and feeling like this. And that breaks my own heart. I’m here because ofHannah. I am still here because she’s the only person that has somehow managed to truly understand everything I’ve been going through. The only person that has grabbed the shovel and dug me out of the 6 foot hole I’ve been laying in. For so long. The ONLY person who has wiped the dirt away from my face so I can, for a moment finally breathe. She hasn’t forced me to get out of that hole, but has decided to lay right beside me in it silently and patiently even though she has her own battles to fight. I am so lucky. Most importantly I am still here because I couldn’t fathom the heartbreak she would go through if I wasn’t around. EVEN THOUGH I know she would understand that this would set me free, and The pain would stop, to know she would suffer silently BREAKS ME and Knowing first hand how it feels to loose someone so important to you, I could never do that to her. She doesn’t deserve it. In fact, she’s the last person on this planet who deserves that.

I’ve heard so many time that life is what you make it. But is it? Do I enjoy waking up everyday and aimlessly wondering through life having no clue what the actual fuck I am doing or what I even want and just dealing with everyone’s shit along the way? Do I enjoy feeling suffocated and not having a say in what happens? am I choosing this? Why would I choose this. Why would I voluntarily put myself through hell. It doesn’t make sense to me. And it’s not like I haven’t tried because I’ve done everything I can possibly do to get me out of this rut. And after so many failed attempts, honestly I’m just so fucking tired. Where the hell is the reset button? BETTER YET where the hell are the instructions? Maybe if I had some, I could finally get it right. I’m not living I’m existing.

Home is a feeling. Not a place. Home to me is Hannah. I find comfort in her patience and I find peace in her ability to understand. Although most days I feel I will never grow out of this, Ive been taught through Hannah that you need to have rainstorms for beautiful things to bloom. It’s a process and I am forever grateful to have her as my best fiend and rock. Suddenly I don’t feel so alone.

[timeisacephalopod]

4, 6, 9, 10, 12: Rhodey and Bucky, 15, 16, 21, 23, 27, 29, 30, 32, 35, 37, 43, 46, 50, 54: Tony

You know that meme where the white woman is looking at the math overlaying the picture in confusion? That was me when I got this ask because instead of reading the fucking questions on the ask meme I put up I decided ‘Rhodey and Bucky’ were some other thing? Long story short I’m a moron lmao.

4- Favorite actress

Tbh I don’t pay much attention to the actresses and thus I almost missed out of saying Tessa Thompson like some kind of savage. I appreciate how hard she worked to try and make Valkyrie bisexual and also her character was basically the only thing I liked about Thor: Ragnarok (controversial opinion, I know).

6- Favorite quote

“Trust my rage” from Thor The Dark World. This line is so visceral and poetic. Like shit son, the rest of the movie was eh, but that line? Fucking amazing, and Hiddleston’s delivery of it is top tier bois.

9- BROTP

Pepper and Tony. I’ve never seen the romance between them, and in my opinion it was there because it seems movies are fucking incapable of not having a romance subplot (no hate to pepperony shippers either, everyone likes what they like and the entire point of fic is to circumvent canon anyways). But as a friendship pairing these two are excellent- they’re a great team, they understand each other on a fundamental level, and their friendship dynamic is interesting. Also, to me, I think their relationship is more compelling without the romance.

10- How did I discovered Marvel?

I’ve mentioned this in other asks but I had a friend make me watch Avengers and I didn’t like it lmao. I only gave it another show two years later and started from the beginning with CA:TFA and then I got into it. I’m not sure what changed or why I took to it later, especially when I found the later half of TFA to be kind of boring (I love Skinny!Steve ok) but it happened and when WS came out I saw it in theaters. From then I was hooked.

12- Make me choose between two characters: Rhodey and Bucky

Damn, I’d rather not have to choose, you suck! But, for the sake of the ask, Rhodey. As a character he’s better constructed, has his own story and motivation outside Tony, he’s funny, and while he has his moments (that I mostly blame on shit writing) he’s a great friend. I honestly wish that we could get a whole movie about him doing things but I did hear some rumors not long ago about Marvel looking into making Iron Man 4 an Ironheart movie and the only thing that would make that better is if Rhodey were her mentor (I literally wrote a story about this once).

Anyways, although I write Bucky a lot more than I do Rhodey I do prefer his character in a more fundamental way simply because he’s more fleshed out. Plus I love male friendships that are actually good and James Rhodey Rhodes is the God Tier of friends. The man spent 3 fucking months combing the desert for his disaster friend and that’s some damn dedication. Especially when you know people must have gotten real damn annoyed with him using resources and shit. But that action alone tells you everything you need to know about him and none of it is bad. I love Rhodey, seriously.

15- Top 5 ships

Tony/T’Challa

Tony/ Bucky

Tony/ Stephen

Tony/Rhodey

And, because I feel compelled to put a ship that doesn’t have Tony in it Steve/Howard

Honorable Mentions: Tony/ Peter Q

16- Top 5 villains

THANOS

Erik Killmonger

Loki

Justin Hammer (he’s just so absurd)

Ghost (from Ant Man and The Wasp)

Seriously, this was hard because Marvel’s villains are shit. They’re all the same one dimensional ‘they’re evil’ type characters.

21- Dream crossover

Basically any urban fantasy world I loved in my teens and the MCU. I’ve written a Vampire Academy/ MCU crossover but I’d love to write a House of Night crossover (I hate the characters in HoN, but love the world ok don’t judge), and a Shadowhunters crossover. I’ve seen some cool stuff with Teen Wolf being crossed over too though.

23- Most layered character

Tony fucking easily. His arcs are always the most compelling (or close to it), he’s had the most character development, and his trauma plays out so beautifully on screen. I’d argue Steve is a close second post WS, but the MCU will never let his character play out the development he’s gotten because they’ll never let Steve be less than perfect, which pisses me off. Otherwise his transition from a solider who wants to do right by his country to a cynical man who doesn’t know how to process the new world he’s been tossed into or how to handle a situation in which the morally correct solution isn’t abundantly obvious would be a compelling watch. But its been consistently proven that Steve will never get a real realization of his new characterization because ~~perfection~~.

27- Favorite moment

Shiiiit. That’s a lot of material and because I have a bad memory I’m going to go with ‘don’t call us plucky, we don’t know what it means’ because that was hilarious lmao.

29- Saddest moment

Shit boi, probs a toss up between Peter P’s death and Bucky’s. Peter’s is obvious but Bucky fucking dusting in front of the dude who spent so long trying to find him again in an effort to feel, even if its just for a moment, like he’s home again? Sad af. I felt awful for Steve there.

30- Most beautiful scene

Pretty much all of Black Panther is a visual treat, but I’m especially fond of T’Challa in the dream world with his father. That scene was so beautiful, and all the colors? Amazing. Only Guardians of the Galaxy even compares visually and even then Wakanda’s beauty has something else to offer that space doesn’t.

32- Actor/Actress I’d like to be cast by Marvel

As mentioned above I pay literally zero attention to actors- its a personal choice not to spend time being a voyeur into other people’s lives and treat them like commodities to consume because I loath celebrity culture (and this isn’t a slam to anyone who enjoys it, its more a slam to people who over engage in it- ie people who care enough to send death threats or paps basically). Anyways that’s an opinion you didn’t ask for, but because of that personal opinion I have no real cast choice lmao.

35- Most boring plotline?

I love Thor but all his movies. The first movie had good personal growth but eh. The second was an ok movie but forgettable (aside from my fav line from Loki in it), and unpopular opinion I hated Thor Ragarok. I mean it was funny. That’s all the good I have to say about it really. Though I have no idea why every comedy writers room is not leaping at a chance to get Taikia on their staff because the man is a comedic genius and that’s honestly being impolite to his comedy skill. Still, as much as I like Thor I didn’t really love any of his movies and all his villains were so fucking boring, even Loki wasn’t that interesting till Avengers. Poor Thor, MCU did him dirty :(

37- Most well done character death

Peter P. I give this to him over Bucky because apparently most of that scene was improv? I cried over my spider son ok. There’s someone who was in that theater with me who heard me sob out ‘my spider son’ and went home to tell people about it. That shit was heartbreaking. Second runner up goes to T’Challa but I didn’t think it was well done, I just thought it was sad as shit for Okoye and I love her so it was upsetting to see her lose her king :(

43- Characters I wish they’ve met

I don’t understand the question :( I think it’s supposed to be ‘characters you wish would met’ but all my wishes were granted in IW. Tony and Stephen met and so did Tony and Quill. I shipped Tony with both characters before they’d interacted on screen so it was nice to see :) Rhodey and Quill would be a fucking hoot together though, throw in Okoye and Valkyrie and you’ve got a bunch of drunk overpowered people telling war stories or, in Quill’s case, stories about that time he stole some shit.

46- What characters outside of the Mcu I’d like to see in a Marvel movie?

Ironheart, but I heard rumors they might do a movie with her. I think it’d be fun to have Riri in screen, especially since Peter is around her age. I’d also love to see a Young Avengers movie or a Kamala Khan/ Ms. Marvel movie though apparently there’s rumors of that too.

50- Characters that deserved better

Tony, Bucky, and Steve but all for different reasons. Steve deserves his fall from grace and not because I think he should suffer, but because keeping him on his pedestal means he’ll never be able to fully process his trauma and move on. Allow him to fall, allow him to know he isn’t perfect, then allow him to know that that’s ok, he doesn’t need to be, he just needs to do the best he can and then allow him a proper chance to move on.

Bucky because he deserves to be a character outside of Steve and, to a much smaller extent, Tony. Let the man have a movie about self actualization after trauma, let him figure out he isn’t Steve Roger’s best friend anymore (and that Steve isn’t really Steve anymore) and that that’s ok, they can both accept themselves as they exist now and still be friends. Let him develop hobbies outside of Steve, have him bond with Rhodey, he needs a good friend. Shit, let him bond with Sam too. Give me a buddy movie where Sam lowkey therapies Bucky into being a fuckin person again and Bucky finds some way to repay him. He can go beat up Scott for that time he kicked Sam’s ass lol.

And Tony because the MCU makes fuckin everything his fault, even stuff that only somewhat involves him. They drive him to an absolute breaking point and then have the characters get pissed that he broke? The only one that I found acceptable was Pepper and that’s mostly because I understand why she’d be freaked out both by Tony’s obsessive behavior and by nearly being eaten by one of his suits. She had her own shit she was dealing with post Mandarin so her I understand. Everyone else though? Mostly makes no sense. Why are you surprised that a person snaps when they’re pushed to the limit? That’s how people work lmao but that’s also because the writers make an active, and completely senseless, choice to have the characters react like Tony’s mental health problems are a choice he made and now he has to suffer because he has PTSD or some shit. Idk, but AoU was the worst for it, and, to a lesser extend IM3 but I refuse to believe Rhodey would really tell Tony to get over himself after a panic attack- the man is emotionally intelligent ok, IM3 did Rhodey dirty.

54- 5 things I love most about: Tony

Tony’s sheer level of wonder at the world around him- the look on his face in IM2 when he rediscovers that element perfectly encapsulates how he feels about learning and moving forward. (Flipside is that sometimes he has trouble staying in the present and that causes problems).

The way he tries no matter how badly he fails. Bih, if my random tests on a rock nearly ended the world I’d out and out throw myself off a cliff. Instead he accepts his part in it (and more) and chooses to try and make the best of it. He’s done that from the moment he got snatched by terrorists in Afghanistan. That in itself is basically a superpower.

His humor. I, too, hide my emotional distress under jokes so I can relate to being a lil bit of an asshole to hide how I feel. (Flipside: people don’t think he takes stuff seriously- hence Steve in the Avengers).

His mental health problems. Ok this one is weird, but I can appreciate that someone drew up a hero that isn’t based in perfection, but who tries to get there anyways. But the dude has problems, a lot of problems, and they aren’t always pretty. But they are complicated and it is compelling to watch.

The way he builds relationships. Its unconventional- Rhodey is probably the only person he’s super close to that he met in a normal way. Happy and Pepper were both people that worked for him and instead of just being their boss he took the time to learn about them and get to know them on a personal level. Obviously he ended up engaged to Pepper, but a guy who knows what his driver’s favorite show is and why he likes it is a good dude. He’d be nice to wait staff in restaurants.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 32

Spoilers, obv.

While I've done this in my Tumblr asks, I forget if I've put this in the actual notes or not. I would presume I haven't, because if I'd put the following caveat in the Writer’s Notes and I'm still being asked when the Writer Notes are coming when they're later than usual by people who presumably read the Writer Notes it would be more than a little rude.

(I write the following, and then bounce back here to put a caveat on my caveat. Don't worry if you've done the following. It's not the end of the world, it's really only a minor annoyance in the larger scale of things, and you didn't know.)

I've done Writer Notes for every single issue of WicDiv. That's 34 (with the Specials), including this one. They appear before the next issue drops. I've gone as late as the day before the issue is released. I don't believe I've ever gone any later. That's how it's always happened.

“Before the next issue.” That is when to expect my Writer Notes. It is not “late” until the next issue drops.

I write them as soon as I have time. If I haven't done it earlier in the month, you may safely assume that I've got other commitments that have to be prioritised above writing something which is, in a very real way, not part of my job.

If you're worried whether you've missed them, the Writer Notes are always tagged on my tumblr. You can click this link and see if they're there or not. There is no need to ask me.

I do not appreciate anyone asking where they are and when I'm going to do it. Please, don't do it. It stresses me out, both in the frustration at the entitlement in believing I should be writing it instead of many of the other things I should be doing, and in the simultaneous and entirely contradictory response of I SHOULD BE DOING THEM WHY THE HELL AM I NOT DOING THEM I AM LETTING EVERYONE DOWN!!!!

There is only so much a creative can give.

Er... and that appears to have segued into this issue's theme, hasn’t it?

Jamie/Matt's Cover

We finally reach full bleed on the Imperial Phase covers. By this point, I suspect pretty much everyone has seen what we're doing with the covers, and the implicit question of “how can you follow something that's doing this to full bleed”.

This is one of my favourite WicDiv covers. Jamie and Matt have excelled themselves here. The nonchalance of Dionysus, a return of the Acid House badge and so on. It's completely different to all the other gods – as is the nature of Dio – but is also the most visually magnificent. I love this.

Noelle Stephenson

Is a force of nature, and doesn't really need me hailing her here. Suffice to say, BUY NIMONA IF YOU HAVEN'T. She jumped at Baal/Minerva, and we just sat and let her do her thing. Clearly with this issue's content it rubs up unusually.

Walking Dead Cover

Homaging their issue 150 cover. We did it with 32, which makes it kinda funny. Persephone in her issue 22 costume.

IFC

With the double-length of Imperial Phase, we're very much reaching the recap page's breaking point in terms of working out what information to include. I smile that I managed to fit “He is such a shit” in there though.

Page 1

Return to the three panel of the start of last time. Immobility remains the point. I had a slightly more writer-y line for Sakhmet in the second panel, but I generally find it's best to strip her back to Just The Facts. There's no need to fence with Sakhmet.

Jamie's addition of a bloody-handed yawn is a perfect way to add a secondary reveal to the scene.

Reading people's commentary. I find it interesting that people seem to have Persephone's expression in the last panel to be bored. It reads pretty clearly as a wince to me. It's a very small response – which is, of course, the point – but it's definitely not ambivalent. One of the things in comics is how much for characters to verbalise, and how much you can just leave to the art. This is not a thing which has any one solution.

Pages 2-4

There's a craft thing here of note – we only explicitly introduce the idea that there is a sexual consent issue at this point in the Woden scene. We don't think leaving that sort of threat across a month is either ethical or useful. In a serialised narrative, we try to weigh these things up.

(It's still relatively quiet. There's twelve Valkyries. The thirteenth Asian girl is Cassandra.)

The page transition of Dionysus kicking in is the sort of thing I love as a storyteller. Repeats with a tiny difference.

The dialogue was moved a little after drawing, so as to leave the final panel on page 3 silent. Jamie's expression was perfect and didn't need disruption – more so when Matt pops the reds.

The glo-stick nunchaku first appeared in Rising Action, and make a return here. They were inspired by Christian Ward and Catherine Rooney's wedding, when they distributed a bunch of glo-sticks during the 90s rave set the DJ dropped. I was spinning them around, and it got me thinking.

Page 4 is obviously the key image, capturing Dio's hamartia in the same way as Amaterasu's final panel in 31 captures her. I get upset to even think of this panel. Futile acts of bravery when all hope is lost is something which almost always makes me cry.

Anyway – just wonderful. Jamie and Matt nail it. The oppressiveness of the mass of green, the crowd against Dio, the soar of his body. Perfect. Nice work.

Page 5

The Red Shoes being the Hans Christian Andersen story about a girl who gets a pair of ballet shoes and can't stop dancing. It doesn't end well for her either.

It's been used all over culture – Kate Bush is an obvious one, but I tend to think of the 1948 movie.

Pages 6-7

We basically keep the rhythm of the last issue going. As in, hard cuts between multiple scenes when the drama is highest. I'll be interested to see how this works in the trade – page 1's refocusing of the action here is the stepping stone back to this location, but it's quite the jump.

Anyway – Sakhmet and Persephone's final conversation. I needed something like this.

Standard-y me structure of a two-page scene with the first row of the first page merged as is the last row of the second page.

Lots of great expression work here, especially in how tight Jamie is choosing to cut things. It's not just as simple as a slow zoom to the character's features, but there is a gradual increase. I like how Sakhmet starts in a neutral position... and then when she laughs at the first answer, she gets a little further away... and when she gets the response to the second question, she's very close. That also means we also get a great pull away.

Expressions again. Sakhmet's three close-ups are my everything, in how much she's saying – the downcast eyes in the third! Especially compared to the deadness of Persephone.

“I think we only get to hurt ourselves and maybe people who want to be hurt” is just :(

Pages 8-11

Reprising of issue 8, which was Dio at his most iconic. These four pages “count” as two pages in terms of page budget, in that only 4 panels are drawn on each page. That we spread it out over a larger space means it's much more emotionally impactful.

My brain is failing, but I believe Dio and Woden are the only two characters other than Laura who've ever had internal dialogue captions. That strikes me as interesting.

Cutting the dialogue short enough to make it vaguely keep to the beat was obviously important. It ticks along, relentlessly.

Matt's colouring here is, like Dio's first one, a story in and of itself – the fading colour as Dio is dragged down in the first page, the glitch on page 10, the third panel of page 11.

The “One more time” came to me as writing it, and I was genuinely horrified at myself. I can make any cultural allusion depressing. It's a gift.While at this year's Thought Bubble dancefloor, this issue was at the printers. Various friends had read it, and were there. When I dropped ‘One More Time’, I glanced at them, and thought about the unique awfulness of WicDiv, in that they knew and no one else did.

Pages 12-13

I wish I had a page or two more in the budget here. There's a couple of beats I wish I'd been able to linger on.

The drop of Dio in the first panel brought to mind the fall of 455 Lucifer.

Woden's line is harsh as fuck here, but also not entirely wrong. As we see, Cass was unaffected by Woden's power. He didn't need to do anything.

The last panel on page 12 originally had much more dialogue, and it was bullshit. I moved that to the next panel, and keep it sharper. WicDiv isn't a comic where people can shout speeches as they do stuff.

I'M A FUCKING CRITIC is much better anyway. Jamie and Matt did great stuff with the multiple levels.

“One More” makes me feel bitter too. Brunhilde's excitement is also telling. More anon on this, I suspect.

More exposition than I'd like in the last panel with Cass, but I suspect we lose you if you don't know why she's phoning Persephone.

Page 14

Yes, Persephone hasn't changed her ringtone.

We don't have space to go far into the fight here, but we have to give the two big beats. Baal's burst of power, and the specifics of the terrible speed of Sakhmet. The colour choices are what scream to me here. Each of those two central panels are so much about the individual god who is dominating them. There’s just such direct choices here.

We start on the phone, and end on Minerva's owl, to try and get a transition to...

Page 15

...Minerva. Clearly for where the story goes, we have to see Minerva in the nearby area. We wanted to show the emotional journey towards going there – that's a great conflicted last panel by Jamie. We discussed what method to use in terms of communication – specifically, we needed Minerva to have ‘READ’ notes on her phone so she knows Morrigan has seen the messages and is ignoring them. Which sets up Minerva to make her decision.

After the colours of the previous page, the low light of this one is also really striking.

Pages 16-17

The fight scenes in the Underground were all written Marvel Method, with more ideas than would fit in the space. As such, it was a question of choosing where to edit, both in terms of Jamie's choices on the page and my choices at lettering. There was certainly more possible lettering in the script... but, as I say above, I don't like fight scenes to talk too much. When this is all happening as quickly as it is, it seems to undercut it.

Boiling the exchange to the “Predator or Prey” call back seemed to be the right call to make. Boil it down.

(The other options were a reprise of Persephone's “We only get to hurt ourselves and people who want to be hurt” in the last two panels, which I felt would be too much. I'd hope it would be subtextual in it anyway.)

Page 18

We leaned into implication here – choosing the moments. The slump of the hands in the second panel is the key one for me. That's just horrible, as is Persephone's distress in the third one.

Pages 19-21

Yeah, this scene is hard, with the characters' frustrations and anger at themselves crossing back and forth. It's telling that we go to eight panel grid structure for the first two pages, which is my standard one for this kind of more emotionally grounded scene.

Worth noting the other Norns aren't there. I suspect Cass hasn't been exactly gentle with them either. Still – Cass echoes a significant proportion of the readership regarding Persephone, I suspect.

Explicitly closing off the “No Person” line from back in Imperial Phase.

Eventually Persephone reaches a point and pushes back. For both of them, it's not the lies that hurt. It's the truths. And... yeah, that argument is totally not over.

I kind of wish I had the machine go BLEEP! Rather than BEEP!

Pages 22-24

Yes, it is very much our beeping device on the mantelpiece.

Odd hitting the last page, in that it's one of the end-of-episode beats I've known seemingly forever. It is a particularly frustrating one, clearly.

We did have a bunch of chat over exactly what should that final line be. It was as mild as “Oh my” at one point, but I like the last one.

Beep Test being a fitness thing.

And that's it. A few more weeks and issue 33, the end of Imperial Phase and moving onto Year Four of the book. Just re-reading all of WicDiv so far in preparation for scripting of that year, and it's a strange thing to look at how far we've come. If you have never done a WicDiv re-read, I suspect this is a perfect time to do one.

Thanks for reading.

#WicDiv #writer notes #The Wicked + The Divine

[blouisparadise]

As promised, here the continuing rec list of fics where Louis is called pet names. Part one can be found here, and when it’s out, part three will also be linked here. Happy reading!

1) Tie You Up and Make Me Scream | Explicit | 2166 words

AU where Harry teases Louis and it becomes a game until they cant handle it anymore and escape to have tent sex while the rest of the boys are in the other tents.

2) Feel The Need | Explicit | 4898 words

Louis and Harry attend Liam's Halloween party. Risky Business ensues.

3) Just Stop Your Crying (It’s A Sign Of The Times) | Explicit | 5864 words

My own imagining of the inspiration for Sign of the Times.  Featuring boys in love, even after all this time.

4) We’ll Stumble Through Heaven | Explicit | 6504 words

Louis likes to be a good boy for his alpha.

5) Raised on Rhythm and Blues | Explicit | 8034 words

“That look on your face makes me think you’re not cooking me spaghetti fast enough,” Louis announces as he walks back into the kitchen. Harry knows exactly where Zoe gets her habits from.

“Cooking for my two beautiful and insanely intelligent children, not for the weird bloke that sleeps in my bed and eats all my food,” Harry answers, tilting his head and wondering if he should add more sauce.

6) Forever, Uninterrupted | Explicit | 8578 words

Harry finds a mysterious picture in Louis' bag one night and drives himself crazy over it. It's definitely not what he thinks.

7) Spice Up Your Life | Explicit | 9501 words

After a conversation with his Uni friends, Harry worries that his relationship with Louis has lost it's spark.

8) Infinitely All For Me | Explicit | 10630 words

The Alpha Louis' been betrothed to since he was 14 has finally come of age and Louis' been delivered to his home.

9) Keep Holding Me This Way | Explicit | 13747 words

An English grad student, a frat jock, and an unimpressed rich boy walk into a bar. No one walks out.

10) Let’s Take the World By Storm | Explicit | 14656 words

Harry lifts his head off Louis' chest to look at Louis' face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

“I don’t know, but our sex life feels a bit boring, ‘sall,” Louis says, completely avoiding eye contact.

“Boring.” Harry says flatly. He doesn’t say anything more, and Louis looks up to see that Harry seems to be mulling it over.

“Yeah, boring," Louis says, and keeps talking before Harry can pipe up. “I mean, think about it. We’ve been dating since X Factor, and now things are starting to drag a bit. We don’t even have the time for handjobs anymore, much less actual sex.”

11) The Seed Inside You, Baby, Do You Feel It Growin’ | Explicit | 14793 words

Louis really wants Harry to get him pregnant.

12) Oops, Baby, I Love You (In That Order) | Explicit | 25344 words

The minute Louis Tomlinson decides he don’t need no man to start a family, Harry Styles literally falls into his arms.

13) Another Day Gettin’ Into Trouble | Explicit | 25619 words

Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them.

In Harry’s defense, when he first thinks about it his intention is just to buy the kit and give it to Louis to make his own dildo with, because that’s what he wants anyway, right? To have a penis filling him up?

Then he realizes that it would be weird if Louis made a copy of his own dick to fuck himself with. It’d be super weird. Louis fucking himself? That’s a weird idea. Harry’s pretty sure Louis wouldn’t like that.

Clearly the only solution here is to use his own dick for the mold.

14) Force of Nature | Mature | 25672 words

Louis is a shy, young musician who doesn't want to go to Harvard.

Harry is a confident,  second year athlete who likes to have a good time.

When their paths cross while their families are vacationing at the same lake resort, what begins as a summer of fun becomes a defining journey that might just change everything.

15) Up To No Good | Explicit | 26525 words | Sequel 1 | Sequel 2

Harry doesn’t think of himself as a womanizer, not at all. Sure, he enjoys sex, enjoys how women feel underneath him, and by some people’s standards he has sex with quite a lot of people, but that’s no reason to tell him that he can’t have a female PA anymore.

It’s especially no excuse for giving him a male PA who’s possibly the most gorgeous boy in the world who won’t even let Harry look at him for too long.

Sometimes Harry hates his life.

16) Always Come Back To You | Explicit | 28862 words

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

17) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words

"So, I guess we'll go?" Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. "I mean, I wouldn't mind. We could make it an adventure."

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He's fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry's gaze–he probably knows that Harry's mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he's not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he's also Harry's best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he'd still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He's got Harry's back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they'll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. "We're going," he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

18) Cupid’s Chokehold | Explicit | 35326 words

Louis is a Cupid who tries to match up Niall and Harry. It doesn't work out as planned.

19) Mark My Word (We Gon’ Be Alright) | Explicit | 35524 words

"He’s always known that there would come a time when Harry would bond with some beautiful, quiet omega, and they would have lots of curly-haired pups and live happily ever after.

Knowing it and living it are two very different things, though. Watching the object of your affection desperately search for a mate and completely disregard you as an option is all sorts of painful, but it is what it is, and Louis is just going to have to learn to live with that."

20) Who Would’ve Thought | Explicit | 44275 words | Companion Fic

The idea doesn’t come to Louis until they’ve been at the bungalow for a couple of days. Harry has no idea that he’s going to pop a knot. He’s been living his life with the expectation that he’s going to be a beta, and Louis isn’t going to tell him otherwise.

Louis is an omega, though, and most omegas want to be filled up with a knot,  fucked the way their bodies are made to be fucked, and Louis is no different. In ten years he wants to have an alpha waiting for him at home who will hold him down and fuck him exactly the way Louis wants to be fucked without worrying that they’re going to expect him to stay at home, open a joint bank account, raise a litter of babies, cook and clean and, most importantly, be submissive. For that to happen Louis needs an entirely different kind of alpha.

And so the plan is born.

21) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

22) Nobody Does It Like You | Not Rated | 58820 words

Louis isn't looking for a home, but he finds one in Harry.

23) Tug-Of-War | Explicit | 63000 words

Louis' husband dies suddenly and he is left with nothing. Well, not really nothing. He has Harry. And a St. Bernard puppy named Link, whom his late husband left behind for him. Louis takes care of Link and Harry takes care of Louis. Everything is okay until suddenly, it isn't.

24) Why Can’t It Be Like That | Explicit | 63567 words

A fashion AU with a royal twist, where Louis doesn't need a stylist, Harry's thrilled to have a real life Barbie doll, and they're both very wrong about each other.

25) Perfect Storm | Explicit | 80230 words

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#bottom louis #top harry #fic recs #blp fic recs #blp

[nullset2]

Why New 3D Mario Games Suck

Before I go to bed I want to write a quick article about my opinions of Mario games. Ah, Mario games... I will never tire of you. Crisp and clean, to the point and joyfully so. Just jump, mofocka. Games that revel in the concept of moving around, making it inherently fun. Is there more noble of a proposition in gaming? Has there ever been more lucid game design?

Yet, I think that modern Mario games suck.

Like everyone and their grandmother (and if your grandmother plays Mario send her my regards, she's cool as hell, dude) I've been playing Mario 3D All Stars to have me a nice time. However it does reinforce this idea that I've always had, that Mario games, even though they may share the same broad aesthetic values and mechanics, are different from each other by nature. In this article, I propose that this change over time has actually been for the worse, leading to a loss of complexity in platforming game design with each successive iteration which is being traded away in favor of more cinematics and bombastics.

First things first, we have the beautiful Mario 64. A timeless classic and most of us' first foray into 3D games (yes, this was the very first game I ever played where the notion of the third dimension actually mattered. I had already played Star Fox but in Star Fox you don't really move in three dimensions, you're just in a plane going on rails and you cannot move completely freely). I played this before I even touched Doom or other first person games of the sort.

Minor parentheses by the way: did you know that Star Fox was inspired on the Inari Taisha temple? The beautiful, big long mountain shrine in Kyoto full of orange gates?

Fox translates to Inari and its creator, Dylan Cuthberth, who loved Japan a lot, got inspiration from it which he applied to his new bizarre fucking mind bending 3D tech which he then pitched and sold to nintendo and then became the basis for the Ultra 64, which was to come, and thus one of the main pillars of all modern 3D gaming as a whole? Holy shit, right? In Star Fox you cross gates to gain powerups and to make it fun to maneuver around with your Airwing... How come that I had never seen the connection?

But anyway. Back to Mario 64.

It is commonly told that Mario 64 was created by Miyamoto parting from the concept of a "secret garden". Most of the development time initially, it is said, was spent on Miyamoto and Tezuka, Mario creators, fine tuning the movement system in an isolated garden map without any enemies or hazards.

The purpose of the secret garden was threefold: first, the team was used to designing Mario games as 2d platformers and they were uncertain about how to take Mario games into the 3D era (a literal, flat-out equivalent conversion of classic mario, think Super Mario World, powerups and all, was considered at a certain point in development, creating linear, obstacle course stages with a beginning and a goal, the remnants of which still linger in the final game as the bowser stages, an idea which was finally fleshed out with the Mario 3D series on the Nintendo 3DS and Wii U, 20 years later (!)), so they needed a way to hash out ideas about how to design this new installment.

Second, Miyamoto took as one of the goals of the project to design Mario's movement with a supreme level of fidelity, so he'd use this area to test and test and test all of Mario's acrobatics, to make them feel smooth, convincing and entertaining to play. He'd say that as long as a move didn't feel right in the garden, it couldn't be used in the final game, creating in the end as something that feels a little bit like ninja acrobatics on rollerskates or ice skating.

Third, the team eventually realized that, since 3D content was incredibly expensive to create back in 1995, when commonplace computer 3D animation and design was still quite in its infancy, they needed to develop the skill to design little sandboxes which were good enough to run around in over and over without getting tired of them (think of it as if constructing a highly detailed, complex diorama, an idea fleshed out finally in Captain Toad from Super Mario 3D world, again, 20 years later (!)). This was to create more content for the game while reusing the same architecture and geometry for the levels, since resource usage had to be maximized. The remnants of the garden are still present in the final game, as the Castle Grounds.

So, do you see the level of SOUL invested here? The level of care, the amount of love placed into each and everyone of Mario's moves in Super Mario 64? And the results show it: the game allows the player to tackle all objectives at their own pace, in their own terms, however way they can. The game forces nothing down your throat: blast to the island in the sky? Well, maybe just long jump to it if you're gutsy enough, no need to wait until you unlock cannons. Or get the 8 red coins first if you want. Or just fuck it, and go and release the chain chomp first because he looks very cool and this is probably the first power star that all people who play the game get first. Or just, fuck it, you can skip that objective all together if you want, just collect enough stars for the next door unlock.

Jump, double jump, triple jump, dive, dive from jump, punch, breakdance kick, backflip, turn and backflip, long jump, wall jump, grab objects and throw, jump-shortkick, slide down, ground pound, fly from triple jump, swim, crouch... and even crawl. I count a total of 20 possible interactions with the environment, maybe even more I'm missing. All movements completely available to you from the start to mix and match the way you best see fit (except for flying, which is unlocked like 15 minutes into the game). The world is yours and you're free, go nuts son. The only variable is your skill at the movement system.

So you can probably see why this is delicious design. There's never a single way to clear most power stars in the game, instead the decision is left to the player, which the game trusts is smart enough to figure out solutions to problems on their own. Wanna jump for it? Sure, if you can. Want to wait unil you got the powerup? That's cool too. Want to go play another level? Sure thing! OR FUCK IT! JUST RACE THE KOOPA IF YOU WANT!

So you can probably see why I loathe the fact that the sequel was based exclusively on giving people a dumbed down version of the same shit, with a fucking dumb water pack.

Come 2002 and under pressure to perform, the team releases Super Mario Sunshine and it's the most bland, dumbed down sequel ever (though, could anyone really live up to such a predecessor's prowess?). In an attempt to make the game accessible to more players (tm), the game is stripped out of its complexity. Mario no longer moves as a gracious, roller skating gazelle that can navigate the world in the most agile and beautiful way ever. Instead you screech down to a halt the second you stop pushing the direction stick instead of providing people with that most delicious sense of momentum and friction SM64 had. Boo Hoo! Baby think 3D platforming is too hard? BABY CANNOT HANDLE PING PING WAHOO ON THE N64? Then we give babby a water nozzle which will allow them to correct any miscalculated jump ever (it's insulting that this is the best solution they managed to come up with) HOORAY!

But hey! Sunshine has good things about it! Uh... the water is pretty! (that's probably where all the development time and resources probably went anyway).

SAY WHAT? WE GOT TO RELEASE THIS YEAR? AND THEY WANT US TO INCLUDE 120 STARS AGAIN? FUCK! WE RAN OUT OF TIME; JUST ADD BLUE COINS, DUDE! YEAH WHATEVER! SHIP IT! THIS IS THE GAME! I'M GONNA GO LIE DOWN AND HAVE A BEER! FUCK IT!

Mario Sunshine is not a bad game, but it's not a bold, groundbreaking game like its predecessor was. It detests and rejects the fact that you are a competent platforming game player. It nerfs everything down. It makes it almost impossible to lose. It plays things too safe and too easy, replacing action game design with flashing lights, prettier graphics, and an easier experience; it has its moments but it's an inferior game mechanically: jump, double jump, triple jump, hover, rocket jump, turbo run (why), walk on tightropes (why), spin in air (why), spin from ground into high jump, turn and backflip, swim, spray water, spray water and dive, wall jump, ground pound. It's only 16 moves -- less than its predecessor --, and they have less complexity and are easier to execute.

Not only that but you're no longer free to tackle objectives the way you see fit. The world is now a container for several course-clears, and no longer allowing for the freedom of open world games. If you pick Shine 1, you WILL clear shine 1 in that run of the level. If the game wants you to watch a cutscene (of which there were none in SM64), you WILL watch the fucking cutscene. Wash rinse repeat until you get enough shines to clear the lamest end boss in video game history.

Again, it's not a bad game but it reeks of suits getting involved in the process and demanding shit to be made easier because otherwise it wouldn't sell. It reeks of misplaced priorities. It's a pretty game and it's nice for an afternoon, but after that you just have blue coins left and hooooooooooooo weeeeeee I'm not touching that shit. The most asinine side quest I've ever seen in a video game: to find blue coins hidden in random spots, usually by cleaning a spot of graffitti, and exchange 10 of them for a single shine, the collection of which cannot be stacked and forces you to watch a cutscene every time. Reeks of laziness.

Then Mario Galaxy comes out and Jesus Christ. It's like they don't give a shit at this point. Open-world, acrobatics-centric 3D Mario is just fucking gone. This is probably the point where it became cheap enough to make 3D content en-masse that they just started copying the classic Mario formula in 3D to churn out content.

The bad thing, is that at a certain point it feels as if the games play themselves and I've always been against it and will always be against it because I'm into games due to the fact that they're something which engages my brain. I don't like games which just keep me there, passively looking at the screen, reacting to quick time events. I want to be immersed, engrossed and I want to feel that nice sense of exploration and fun experimentation that you only get with open world games.

The games are back to linear now: even though, in Sunshine, they made an effort to at least make things seem open world, they don't care anymore in this one. It's all just linear levels happening in planetoids which you visit in a sequence, to, yet again, remove all hazards and all notion of challenge and complexity, even more than before. And you have to shake the wii remote to spin to top it off, and this gives you a free save if you miscalculate a jump. The galaxy games were extrapolated through the 3D series: Super Mario 3D Land and 3D World (strong candidates for most bizarre title to a video game ever), to form which is called the "course clear" vein of 3D mario games, starting from the Galaxy games.

See, nintendo themselves differentiate between "Course-clear" 3D Mario and "Open World" 3D Mario. Once Super Mario Oddysey got announced, they came out with this interesting infographic about their classification for 3D Mario games:

Don't get me wrong again, there's nothing inherently bad about these types of Mario game, and Galaxy 2 and Mario 3D World are both some of the best video games ever created, but I think that something got lost in transition when compared to the sublime finesse of the movement system in Mario 64. The way it respects your intelligence, the way it drops you in an open world and gives you freedom, the way that its worlds are built, I think that all of this has never been paralleled, not even by nintendo themselves for some reason, and I think the reason why this happened is that, maybe the excellence of Mario 64, quirks and all, was a product of its time and the limitations in production ability for 3d content and graphics that surrounded its creation at the time.

Yet, Lo and Behold! 2017 is here and Super Mario Oddyssey is in the horizon and it promises to be the Next Big Thing (tm) since sliced bread. A TRUE and HONEST return to form, to the Glory Days of Mario 64! And the game is way too enthsiastic with its embracing of Super Mario 64 nostalgia: there's literally a whole level inspired after the Mario 64 castle grounds in Mario Oddysey and the whole notion of absolute freedom from Mario 64 (somewhat) returns (but not completely because you still are subject to doing a main big event per level, after which the rest of the level unlocks; once you clear the game, the second half of the game unlocks even). And the emphasis is back into acrobatics again, which is a good thing: playing with your hat can get you places if you're handy with it.

But my biggest gripe with Super Mario Oddysey is that it's not completely honest as it claims to be. It's a course-clear game hidden under a coat of paint of an open world-game. It's literally Zelda Breath of the Wild's half-assed design all over again: big empty world full of collectibles, with tiny "levels" to be found. Once you find a game, it's time to do a thing --wash rinse repeat. In Mario Oddysey you explore around until you find a pipe or a door or a character and you get plunked into a Super Mario 3D World style course-clear game with additional collectibles. So it's not really the game which it was told to be. The levels don't feel like beautiful dioramas, and the acrobatics, even if nice, are nowhere near as rich as the SM64 acrobatics. There's infinite lives this time around, so there's no real feeling of risk. The game rehashes its own content, you make a tower of goombas, cool. Then you make it again, twice as long. Then you make it again, in the water. Then you make it again, in the beach level. Then you make it again, in the ice level. Then you make it again. Then you make it again, then you make it again...

You could argue that they were onto something with the capture system, because it's an attempt to enhance the movement system while at the same time it's trying to keep things interesting, but the bad thing is that this is really not the case. Captures are contextual, and you're expected to capture an enemy, do something with it, then leave it behind, so it's not a skillset that you build up on, it's yet another course-clear level in a disguise.

So even though it's a good game, it's not the game that it set out to be, I'm sad to say. The Brilliance of Super Mario 64 is yet to be rivaled, and Nintendo should feel ashamed of it. It's been 20 years, man. Where has your mind been all along?

Alright Nintendo, to conclude, here's a freebie for you. This is how you design your next Mario game so it fucking kicks ass: you bring back the SM64 movement system and ADD ONTO IT. Do NOT take away from it, just ADD. Complexity is good in games. All of your fans are fucking 30 year olds, they can handle a complex game.

Next, you develop a vast, broad, massive open world. Think GTA-size. You set up 1200 stars and you place them all over the world in ways where it is EXCITING by itself to explore the world. Make it so people can collect stars at their own pace, ANY WAY THEY WANT, and expand the world accordingly. Keep the Super Mario Oddyssey persistence, where once you capture a moon you don't have to go back to a menu screen, that was a good addition. Embrace the diorama mentality and go nuts with the world. Fill it with waterfalls, caves, chasms, canyons, and provide the player nothing but their acrobatics to clear everything in the world. Avoid pre-scripted sequences (they can still be good for some things like bosses). And make the world seamless, none of this island in the sky thing anymore. Moving around and getting stars should be their own reward, not "getting to find a course clear level".

#works

[rantsaboutponies]

Season 7 Retrospective

Well, we’re between highly anticipated movie releases this weekend (for me, anyway), so it’s time for our annual look back over the season!

Good lord, the beginning of Season 7 seemed like so long ago. I could have sworn the Flurry Heart episode was last season. Maybe this has just been a really long year. Well...okay, yeah, I can certainly see why it would feel that way, given the year this has been.

With a rating of 4-9-13 (W-L-T), this season must have been better than the last one, even if it didn’t feel like it. Season 8 is forthcoming, so how long before Hasbro gives up and reboots the series again? Only time will tell.

So, here we are. From best to worst:

#1. “Secrets and Pies”: This episode was...good? Like, really, really good? Why? I don’t get it! I wouldn't be so confused if you guys did this more often! I swear, the next time this happens, I'm going to get whiplash!

#2. “Rock Solid Friendship”: To complement the really good Pinkie Pie episode, here’s an episode that was really good in every way except Pinkie Pie! They’re at exact opposite ends of the season, too. Maybe it’s an equivalent exchange thing.

#3. “Triple Threat”: I thought this episode did a pretty good job of avoiding the “why don’t you just tell them?” problem that virtually every episode of every sitcom runs into. We’ve already established that Thorax is a whiny little milquetoast weenie and that Ember is a heinous prick who doesn’t listen to anybody but herself. Hell, that was the entire reason for the conflict in the first place! Honestly, why would Spike try to reason with either of them?

#4. “To Change a Changeling”: If the monster hadn’t turned out to be a giant mole, the ending battle might have seemed a little more life-threatening. That, Starlight’s very, very stupid plan, and Pharynx’s abusive ass made this episode a little worse than it should have been. Apart from that, though, I liked it!

And now here’s the hardest part of the list: trying to figure out which “tie” episodes were slightly better or worse than all the others.

#5. “Once Upon a Zeppelin”: Yeah, Twilight’s parents were annoying (and idiots), but not to the point that I’m going to dread them ever showing up in any future episodes (unlikely as that is at this point). Plus, bringing back Iron Will actually seemed to have a point, and it helped that he didn’t have to “unlearn” his lesson from his first appearance just to make the current episode make sense.

#6. “Uncommon Bond”: This episode went out of its way to prove that yes, Starlight and Sunburst really do have only one thing in common. I would have expected the resolution to be the realization that the two of them liked more things than just that board game, but nope! Giant version! That’s it!

#7. “Daring Done?”: I was so distracted this episode that I forgot to mention that Pinkie Pie was actually acting like Pinkie Pie and not an annoying little shitbag! It was refreshing! But anyway, you’d think Daring-Do would have written enough books by this point to realize the obvious tropes this episode followed. The real challenge for her is going to be stretching this adventure out to novel-length.

#8. “Discordant Harmony”: I’m still not sure what made Discord think he needed to change a bunch of shit about his house to make Fluttershy happy. It looked the same way he made her house look every time he visited her. What did he think she was expecting?

#9. “A Health of Information”: This is the second episode in a row on this list where Fluttershy acted kind of like a doofus throughout the episode for no discernible reason. It also proved that unicorns are the solution to everything. Need to grab some moss from a swamp without falling in? Unicorn! Need to collect honey from the flash bees without going anywhere near them? Unicorn! Need to destroy an entire planet without breaking a sweat? Unicron!

#10 & #11. “Shadow Play (Parts 1 and 2)”: The first half fools you into thinking this isn’t just going to be a run-of-the-mill finale episode by promising you a halfway interesting quest before immediately giving you all the artifacts within a few minutes. Ha! Gotcha!

#12. “Hard to Say Anything”: I’d kind of hoped we were past the whole “two men competing for the trophy that is the personality-deprived female character” cliché, especially in a show designed for children, but I guess not. I mean, at least Big Mac and Feather do realize that’s what they’re doing by the end, but that doesn’t fix Sugar Belle’s “sexy lamp” issue.

#13. “A Royal Problem”: Has Twilight been of help to any friendship-related issues since she stopped being the main character? I think these episodes must be based on Twilight's memoirs, i.e. this isn't how things actually happened; this is how she remembers them happening. Here's what really happened during "Magical Mystery Cure":

Twilight Sparkle: So...I accidentally totally and completely fucked up my friends’ lives, but then I fixed it! That means I'm good at having friends, right?

Princess Celestia (sarcastically): Oh, yeah, you're a regular princess of friendship.

Twilight Sparkle: *gasp* Really?!

Princess Celestia: Oh, no, I didn't mean– Ah, crap, the music's already started. ♫ You've come such a long, long way... ♫

Princess Celestia (mentally): I've really got to stop using the word “princess” as an insult. This is the third one this week. I'm running out of castles! She'll just have to stay in the library until I can find another one.

#14. “All Bottled Up”: This episode is a perfect example of why the writers typically just don’t include characters in an episode if they have nothing to do in said episode. That escape room nonsense was just stupid. The six of you might be best friends, but you have never gotten along that well!

#15. “Celestial Advice”: Ugh, this one. “As a teacher, I have to send my student away. I don’t know exactly why I have to do that, but I’m sure I’ll figure the reason out later. Oh, wait, you don’t want to leave? Well, that changes everything! You can stay!” I think they were making this one up as they went along.

#16. “The Perfect Pear”: One of the emptiest “love” stories I’ve ever seen. This was an “attraction story”, if you can even call it that. This is another case where I’m positive that at least a hundred better fanfics had been written about this exact story before the episode was released. I get why people have headcanons about things now. Why wouldn’t you have a fanon when the canon is so...weak?

#17. “Honest Apple”: Once again, we have a brand-new writer for this episode. Kevin Lappin was very likely just given a slip of paper with “APPLEJACK = HONEST” written on it, which constituted the entire material he had to work with. That might explain why Applejack was such an unlikable prick for the entire episode.

Whoo... All right. Here we go.

#18. “A Flurry of Emotions”: If you don’t want to watch your kid (because, seriously, you’ve got better things to do), just show up at one of your relatives’ houses one day and dump it on them. They’ll have such a guilt trip that they’ll be glad to accept! But make sure it’s someone who’s completely unqualified for the job and has a mountain of other responsibilities first. That’s the best way!

#19. “Campfire Tales”: The fact that this episode was actually just a clunky setup for the finale might explain why all three stories sucked so hard. It’s this season’s The Mummy!

#20. “Not Asking for Trouble”: Now we’re going to get into the part of the list where I have to figure out which episodes are worse by balancing how much the episode irritated me in general with how toxic the moral is. Trust me, if your children’s show has a moral of “Do what you want to do for other people, regardless of what those people have explicitly told you not to do, because you’ll end up being right in the end. After all, people don’t know what they want!”, you’ve fucked up something awful.

#21. “Fluttershy Leans In”: I said in this review that this felt like the MLP version of The Fountainhead, but I only just recently realized that I also said the same thing about Season 5's "Canterlot Boutique". Given that the episodes were written by different people, this must be a storyline that creative types really like (even if it’s nothing more than a power fantasy).

#22. “It Isn’t the Mane Thing About You”: All right, you actually had a good idea with this one. Despite being the Element of Generosity, one of Rarity's main problems has always been her vanity. That means you pulled off the rare feat of making the moral both 1. something the character hasn't already learned in a previous episode and 2. something that a normal functioning member of society might not automatically possess. (There has been a distressing number of lessons in the past five seasons or so that don't fit one or both of these qualifications.) It's just a shame you crashed and burned so spectacularly by 1. turning the moral from “don't be vain” to “have confidence” (something Rarity has never struggled with AND which you have already had as the moral in MULTIPLE previous episodes) and 2. went about it in the most nonsensical way possible!

#23. “Parental Glideance”: This one was a little sickening. The “my parents are so embarrassing!” trope is bad enough, but you’re an adult, Rainbow Dash! Grow up! If the things your parents are doing embarrass you (or if they’re legitimately dangerous, like SHOOTING FIREWORKS OFF AT AN AIRSHOW), talk to them! You can do that without snapping and acting like a dick!

#24. “Forever Filly”: Holy crap, I have never wanted to punch a fictional cartoon character in the face as badly as I did in this episode. I don’t know what made Sweetie Belle act like such a little shit or why Rarity is so out of touch with her (seeing as Sweetie Belle would have had to have been about four to be into the stuff she was trying to do), but I hated this. Shove your black box experimental theater up your ass.

#25. “Marks and Recreation”: I got the sense from the beginning of the series that cutie marks were originally supposed to be something really deep and meaningful. I mean, they’re your passion. They represent that thing that you love so much and are so good at that you can spend the rest of your life doing it and wearing a permanent symbol of it on your body. Well, not anymore! Now it’s just some obligatory shit that you get because you have to and that doesn’t have any real meaning at all! Fuck you! Just...fuck you!

#26. “Fame and Misfortune”: Yeah, no surprise there. Holy shit, this was a painful experience. Like “Stranger Than Fan Fiction”, this was just embarrassing to watch. To quote somebody else, “...you don't get back at critics by attacking them, you do it by ignoring them and continuing to be awesome.” Hell, this episode's moral is contradicted by its own existence. “You shouldn't be affected by criticism of your work. That’s why I wrote this episode where all my critics are painted as raving lunatics and I am totally the victim!” The fact that this is the SECOND such episode is just pathetic. This one actually manages to be worse, though, because, unlike the earlier episode when it was just Quibble Pants being a dick, this one paints the ENTIRE fandom as either complaining whiners who hate everything or creepy stalkers who follow everywhere you go. Nothing says “we want you to keep watching” like insulting the few fans you have left right to their face!

Remember, next week is the review of the remaining six Equestria Girls: Summertime Shorts. Be there!

#my little pony: friendship is magic #my little pony friendship is magic #my little pony #friendship is magic #mlp fim #mlp #fim #my little pony spoilers #mlp spoilers #spoilers #season 7 retrospective #retrospective