#YOUR DESIGN FOR THEM FUCKIN ROCKS

[mortuarywriting]

Falling into Place

Ao3 Link - [First] - [Next Chapter ->]

All things considered this isn't what you were expecting to wake up to when you went to bed. One minute you're on your phone, trying to pass out, and the next? You're here. You've had some interesting greetings in your life, but dropping about six feet and having twelve guns leveled at your face? That takes the cake

Warnings:

Reader Insert, Plus-Size Reader, The Author Regrets Everything, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Isekai, canon divergence Look we're gonna dig into the implications of omegasverse changing bits and pieces of history as well as addressing whatever the FUCK is happening as CoD's history. Idk man Godzilla is canon and nobody bats an eye at that fact and you think I'm gonna be normal about that? No

You could be having a worse day, you think, as you stare at the interrogation table you're cuffed to. They could've shot you the second you fell the six feet from the sky into a random army base. That's a very real thing that could've happened.

But no, you just had a dozen guns pointed at you in one moment and a slew of questions you didn't have satisfying answers for.

No, you had no idea how you got there. You'd been in bed tooling around on your phone and then you were falling.

They asked who you worked for, and were not impressed by your mundane answer. You didn't work for some pmc or intelligence organization. You asked them to their faces if they thought you could pass a PT test if you tried. Not that they answered or appreciated your point, mind.

It was only after you gave them whatever identifying information you had that things got… spicy.

"I would love to tell you what this designation of yours is if you tell me what you mean. Is it like a classification of civilian versus enlisted? Is it physical? Is it your horoscope? I don't know what I don't know," you explain again for the Nth time. You didn't wanna play twenty questions but here you fuckin were, captive audience and all.

The man asking you questions had lost his charming good cop look. He was getting more and more annoyed on this one, "your designation," a demand, not a question and sure as shit not an answer.

"Again, would love to tell you! I don't know what you mean! Feels like some kinda Star Wars thing," you grumble the last bit to yourself but the man cocks his head.

His eyes narrow, "what are… Star Wars, you said?"

You blink owlishly, "beg pardon?"

"Star War. Clarify."

It's your turn for your brow to furrow, and furrow it does, "Star Wars? As in the multi-billion dollar franchise created by George Lucas and eventually sold to Disney," your tone is questioning, just shy of asking if the guy lived under a rock but his expression didn't let up and the last thing you needed was bad cop, so you continued, "the story of what happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? The political space series of movies versus Star Trek's more scientific and discovery based longstanding TV show? Nine major movies and the Clone Wars before Disney sunk their talons in. Like yeah we got more shows and movies that expanded the universe but they also cut out decades of book contributions in their acquisition and that kinda sucked. But yeah, that Star Wars?"

"Nine movies," his tone is disbelieving, and now it's your turn for your eyebrows to raise, "can you name them?"

You nod, "well yeah. Do you want them in episode order or release?"

His brows furrow, "did they not release in order?"

"In a sense? Three trilogies, 4-5-6 back in the late 70s early 80s, then 1-2-3 in the late 90s early 00s, and 7-8-9 through the teens. So order, yes, just… not a cohesive one."

"Release, then," he leaned back and crossed his arms, a position you'd love to mimic if you weren't cuffed to the table for… an indeterminate period of time now, actually.

"A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi-"

"Woah now, empire? What's a jeddy?"

You give him a blank look, trying very hard to mask your disbelief as you look between him and the mirror behind him. You look at your reflection, take a deep breath, and- "sir would it be easier for you to maybe check the internet?"

He seemed to bristle, nose flaring and looking at you expectantly.

You just… kinda sat there. You tapped your fingers together on the desk and kept the eye contact he was intent on. It took a good minute and him getting progressively pissier before you simply ask, "would you like the other movies now?"

You didn't expect an explosion of movement from the man. He downright snarled and slammed his hands on the table as he burst to his feet, the sudden change sending his chair screeching back before falling with a clatter. You leaned as far back as your cuffed hands would allow, eyes wide and a panic rising.

Both of you turned to look at the door when it slammed open with a barked, "Williams!" 

The man who opened it reared back a bit, "Christ, layin' it on a bit thick," he groused, his tone sounding more like someone chastising a teenager for using too much Axe body spray. He smoothed his posture back into something casual as he fanned the air dismissively with a hand, "cap wants you to take a walk."

Your interrogator- Williams, apparently- stares at the man in the door, the two locking eyes before the one in the door straightens from his purposely relaxed posture. You watch the both of them, noting the shoulders tensing as the two just. Staring at each other? Eventually the guy who'd been grilling you looked away and stormed out, the man in the doorway letting him slip out easily enough before turning a charming look back to you.

He took a minute to fan the door a few times to get newer, blissfully cool air in before he entered the room, "sorry 'bout him. He really did a number in here," the new guy tsked before closing the door quietly behind himself.

Your brow furrowed even as you slowly relaxed a bit, had this Williams guy like… farted or something? A nice quirk of ventilation keeping you from smelling something abhorrent? Either way you simply shrug as he walks in and tips the chair back up, sitting and giving another reassuring smile, "how you doing, love?"

You opened and closed your mouth a few times before simply settling on, "I'm a bit… whelmed? This has been," you give as vague a rolling gesture as you can without your cuffs rattling too badly, "a lot? And I have no idea what just set him off either?"

It's the man before you's turn to quirk a brow, "no idea?"

"If I knew the answers to his questions I'd've given 'em by now. I don't, though, and then he just started staring? And hell I just thought it was some kinda macho 'I can stare the truth out of you,'" you pitched your voice lower and pushed your shoulders out for a second to mimic the douchebag behavior before settling, "so I kept eye contact because I'm so out of my depth I have no reason to lie at all and now…" you trail off, gesturing around the room, "all that."

The man nods slowly, "alright love, could you tell me about the last five years?"

Your brows furrow, "oh fuck, 2019 was five years ago wasn't it. God, time is an illusion. Anyway, you want what I was doing leading up to and through the pandemic?"

You think he might've startled for a second but he simply moved to scratch his chin, "mhmm. Just your thoughts on the last five years is all."

So… you ramble. Because he was nice and not prodding or asking weird questions. You talk to him about your job before the pandemic, how people thought covid was just a flu until the death tolls kept climbing, how tons of governments dropped the ball on a local or country-wide level and how that kicked back onto your life, and then the absolute crapshoot of the last election cycle, the shitty 'oh no this is the new normal everything is fine' behavior that has lead to surges and cycles of a fucking plague and so on. He simply nodded, gave some sympathetic hums and winces appropriately at your experiences.

"And did you go back and watch Star Wars through that? Or other things Disney owned?"

And, well, that was a weird way to phrase it but you shrugged, "the mouse is just shy of a monopoly and not one that anybody can take that down so… yeah, I guess? They kept putting shows out and expanding their Star Wars universe so that's been kinda neat to watch but not just them, no. Couple other games and stuff like that to keep me busy, too," you kinda handwave and shut up because panic rambling to MILITARY PERSONNEL is probably not your smartest move in hindsight. Especially when you don't know his name. A+, self.

You tap your fingers against the metal table as he looks at you, "and you said covid has a long term effect of ruining people's senses of smell and taste?"

You nod slowly, "yeah, dude? It's one of the biggest warning signs for most people? Like if everything starts tasting like it was made by a middle class white mom who keeps shoving random letters in her kids names you should swab? That kinda shit?"

What rock has this guy been living under? You were pretty sure the military were supposed to be way more familiar with this shit all things considered, but you've been wrong before.

It was his turn to give you a bit of a wide eyed look before he poorly covers a laugh, "alright, that's fair. I need to go talk with my captain," he hooks a thumb over his shoulder to the window, which didn't surprise you that there had been people back there. He offers a reassuring smile as he stands, humming idly as he pushes the chair back in. He pauses mid-step, "you mentioned that there were cards…?"

You find yourself nodding slowly, "yeah it was important and you couldn't fly or go to certain places if you didn't have one for a while. Should still have a picture of mine buried on my phone," you really didn't wanna get another first-round of covid shots, you REALLY didn't wanna repeat the 24 hours of suck for no reason.

"Cool, thanks," he flashes another charming grin before he slides out of the room.

You lean back in your chair, what an odd guy. Nice though.

-------

"Right," Gaz says as he opens the door to Price and Ghost, "either our mystery guest is off her nut or she's legitimately from somewhere and somewhen else."

Ghost and Price look at each other before turning back to Gaz, this… complicated matters.

Well, it's not like you hadn't given them information to identify yourself. They'd dig up who you were one way or another.

-------

You stare blankly as the nice man from before gives you a sympathetic look, "what do you mean I'm dead?"

Behind him is a guy you're not sure if he's just fuckoff huge or if he's just moderately huge and it's forced perspective.

You don't think it's forced perspective.

You are absolutely trying not to panic spiral.

You are absolutely doing a horrible job at that.

"Well," he opens the file before him and there's a news article, proudly proclaiming "Locals Die in Horrible Freak Accident" like that's not some form of you that was looking like some smear on the pavement, "there's this. Fingerprints match up. Can check for dental if you're really curious."

"Were there even any teeth left after that," you mumble as you take and read the offered article. Seven people were involved, the pictures used are mostly flattering. Hell, you almost don't mind what pic they used for an alternate you but… "that's certainly not the pic I would've wanted. Maybe this me had different tastes?"

You take the time to actually read through the article. It's not helping because for as much as you stare at the page you're not absorbing any information. Some form of detachment, if this was really you? You'd died. A different you but a you nonetheless. You died and you're reading how it happened. There was a lot to unpack in all this and you just needed to put the suitcase away for now. You'd much rather throw it away at this rate.

You were rapidly coming to the understanding that you and Toto were not in Kansas anymore, and there wasn't a convenient yellow brick road to get yourself back home. No easy way to get the hell out of Dodge either. Was it Dodge or the O.K. Corral that was in Kansas? No the O.K. Corral wasn't in Kansas- Dodge was though, that's right. 

This analogy was getting away from you and some part of you figured this was just your brain trying to protect yourself but… wait, wasn't this a metaphor? There wasn't 'like' or 'as' or goddammit not again.

You recognize some names here and there but largely everyone involved were perfect strangers. The article doesn't cover if it would've been slow or quick. You hope for the smear that it was quick. Smears like that don't happen slowly, right? Well, not unless it's like a dramatic slide down a window, but not usually across pavement like that.

Still not sure how you feel about all of it. Bit morbid being confronted with your mortality like that.

Certainly answered a lot of questions about your theoretical passing you never thought about. Like if the obituary for you in what you know to be your own home and world is just as… really kinda just mediocre as this. Have you really done nothing of note for an obituary? Damn.

You kept pouring over the article, each pass bringing new words into focus that help connect the picture a little bit, but… Something repeated in the article made you pause, "two alphas, four betas, and an omega?" 

There was no decent way to ask about that. Any questions invoked from here would border into dangerous territory better kept between yourself and a private browser history. You knew what you were about but there was no fucking way.

"Their designations," the nice man whose name you still hadn't caught explains, "mostly explaining their secondary gender."

You look at him owlishly. You pray to whatever God might be listening that you wake up shortly. Or that the earth below your feet opens up and swallows you. Whichever comes first, the mortification will snipe you otherwise.

"Please tell me this is an elaborate joke at my expense," you are very quiet as you are trying to get really cool with a lot of things really quickly.

"Negative," the big fucker in the back practically growled and you knew that voice would do things to you if you weren't half stepped out of your own body. 

You missed whatever his followup was but your brow furrowed when you checked the date on the article, "I've been dead for months? That…" you let the paper fall from your hands. Everything about this is wild at best and very overwhelming at worst. 

A lot of this qualified as worst.

You look up at the two, missing the odd look they shot at each other as you try to pull yourself back together, "so now what? You've got a not-a-smear of me that fell from the sky onto a secure military base, and where I'm from we didn't have," you paused to gesture between the paper and the two soldiers, "dynamics was it? That was just a fanfiction special."

"Fanfiction."

The way he said it was so carefully neutral you paused, "oh my god without Star Trek to popularize fanfiction and the fan community, how has fandom evolved? Is fanfiction a thing- well, yes, it does fanfics have been a thing since Dante Alighieri wrote the Divine Comedy and even before- well, the question is more if it's still popularized? Are there still the wattpad fics of- I am getting so off track. What exactly is the next step?"

You look from the nice man to the big fucker and back, neither saying anything but looking at you with careful blankness.

You felt like you were being weighed and measured in their eyes.

You hoped to anyone listening that you weren't found wanting at least. Not when you're in the shit situation it looks like you ever so increasingly fell into.

"Considering I'm. Not smear. And very much not from here? Are blanks a thing? Or is that what a beta is I'm," you trail off, brow furrowing, "fuzzy. On the whole thing. The flavor of understanding, dynamics, and population skew tended to be dependant on the author's level of horny."

The did get a bit of a snort from the pretty one before you, the one in the back tilting his head just so as the pretty one spurred you on, "okay please don't take this the wrong way, you have given me nothing to go on but A/B/O and-" a finger was raised in question to that, you quickly explaining, "the fanfic shorthand for the universe without being a mouthful. Anyway- I've seen population numbers being roughly the same across the board, I've seen alphas and omegas at roughly 1% of the population of society on either end, I've seen alphas at about 5% and omegas at 1%- those ones are usually the most horny I swear.

"And it's all over the board, no consistency- sometimes it's betas are infertile, sometimes they're the straightman to the comedy that's an alpha and omega trying to woo each other without being too horny to function. Sometimes it's a sliding scale where being beta just means you're more the more middle-ground regulated hormonally with alphas and omegas being the opposing ends of a spectrum. Can you please say something and give me a fucking break because my panic rambles are probably like. Some kinda prejudiced. I'm still not over the 'I'm supposed to be a smear on the ground we don't even have dental images of to confirm who it is anymore' nugget you dropped on me. I think I'm doing well for this"

You would rather not tell them that as soon as you're out of this box of a room you were gonna be curled up in a ball and unabashedly weeping. That was none of their business.

The pretty one gave you what you're sure was supposed to be a reassuring smile but the quiet stretched just a bit too long. You looked from one to the other before leaning forward, "is this supposed to be soothing in some way? Because it's just a bit of an extended awkward silence and that's uh-"

It was the big one in the back's turn to give an amused snort, the pretty one looking bashful, "right, sorry, we uh-"

You jerk a bit, "wait, was that supposed to be some scent thing," you really didn't wanna say pheromones and potentially dig yourself into a deeper, more awkward hole based on Horny Pseudoscience.

Pretty rubbed the back of his neck, "something like that. You really couldn't smell anything?"

You know the exact Face you're making. It's very much your 'I have told you this and I'm getting tired of having to repeat it' face. You can tell he clocks it but for the record, because to your mortification this has to be recorded, you simply give a succinct, "no, I haven't smelled anything. Not from you, not from him," you jerk your head towards the big fucker, "and not from douchebag from be- Williams! His name was Williams. Nothing. Really had no clue why you were fanning the door when you came in."

You sigh, rubbing the heels of your palms into your eyes, "okay. Assuming I'm not about to be put into past tense a second time. Do we have any idea what popped me out here?"

The sentences are stilted, you know you're getting more rattled the longer you're here but sue you alright it's been the worst six hours of your life here.

They just continue to look at you, pretty keeping a polite almost customer service look as big one just stares unceasingly.

"Right. Okay. Am I going to be reintegrated to society or is this," you gesture around the little room as much as you can, "looking like my home for the foreseeable future."

No change in what you can see of either's expression, and you just sag. Deep breath in, deep breath out, "cool. Alright. Well. I know nothing of how biology is altered here, I'm not sure how that has impacted changes throughout history, and frankly I don't know what your pop culture has done. I'm assuming math and written languages are largely the same but in all fairness I don't know what I don't know."

You just stare quietly at the table for a bit longer before looking back at the two of them, "is there anything else you need because I can feel the freakout creeping up and while I know there's no real privacy, uh…"

The pretty one looked back to the big one, at some point you're sure you'll get some sort of names but for now? Now you watch the big one nod, the pretty one give you a polite smile and some vaguely polite bullshit your brain is swiftly going too far out to hear.

You only hope that whoever is behind the mirror is polite enough to look away as you put your head down on the table and give yourself the opportunity to, just this once, cry. As a treat.

[Next Chapter -> ]

#rambles from the morgue #a for effort and all that

[bakugosbratx]

Tattoo Artist Eren Jeager

Tw: tattoos, smoking, fuckboy behavior, sex for tattoos, totally self indulgent.

A/N: I had this idea while being tattooed and now here we are. Enjoy :)

Tags: @nymphoheretic @lanarist @renhoeku

• Tatoo artist Eren Jeager who has suicideboys, NBA youngboy, and Post Malone blasting in his booth. Also, listens to heavy metal, hard rock, and some alternative. He likes a mix.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager who has a shit ton of black and gray tattoos on his arms.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager who is always a little too close for comfort when it comes to tattooing his clients. His hand really doesn’t need to be on your thigh or the way he has your arm positioned doesn’t need to brush against his dick, but no one is going to complain. And let’s not forget the subtle warm breath you feel from time to time on your skin coming from him.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager also vapes a lot. His booth always filled with smoke and if you have a problem with it, you can get the fuck out of his chair.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager is actually really good at his work. He does realism tattoos really well, but he also enjoys the older style tattoos also.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager definitely let’s people give him head for a discounted tattoo.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager seems cold as fuck, not much for conversation, but he doesn’t need to. His eyes do all of the talking. If he isn’t fuckin’ you physically, he’s fuckin’ you mentally.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager is popular on social media for how hot he is. People travel to see him all of the time. His books are very full so you better never cancel.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager has a mix of patchwork tattoos and also blackout on one of his arms or legs. He always wears black skinny jeans, black vans, and a black shirt that hugs his muscles tight. Sometimes his shirts have designs on them.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager does judge you for your tattoos. If you get something simple and stereotypical for your first tattoo, he is roasting your ass lmao. “Your zodiac sign? You believe in that astrology bullshit?” Yes, my first tattoo was my Leo sign

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager drives a truck. Don’t ask me why this matters because it don’t. But it’s nice. He also has a cool older car collection.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager eventually owns a shop. Not right away due to not wanting the responsibility, but he does get there.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager has earrings. Maybe eventually small gages, but he definitely has earrings in.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager is always worth the money. One way or another, you’ll always be a satisfied customer.

©bakugosbratx

All Rights Reserved — I don’t give anyone permission to repost, distribute, copy or re-use my works in any way. Especially not on other websites such as Tik Tok, Ao3, Wattpad, etc.

#tw tattoos #tw fuckboy #tattoo artist eren jeager #eren jeager #eren jeager au #aot eren #eren yaeger imagine #eren jaeger #eren x you #shingeki no kyoujin eren #eren headcanons #eren jeager x reader #eren jeager x y/n #snk headcanons

[gubbles-owo]

Asbestos tail vs Ho'oleyak tail comes down to whether you want to choke on a thick, fat, wet tail or on a thick, fat, scaly tail. It's hard to choose. How about Saria's long, spiny tail though?

SO TRUE. Different tastes, different textures, different mouthfeels. Really just depends on your preference in the moment, y'know? Alright so Saria's tail is METAL AS FUCK

Her operator portraits (and various outfits) all seem to go light on the details, but looks like Lone Trail here gives us more to go off of. And look at these fucking SPIKES holy shit.

On god it ends in THAT?? That is sharp goddamn... Mouthfeel? Awful. Excruciatingly painful. Swallowing a gallon of thumbtacks would be considerably less agonizing. But it also wouldn't be nearly as hot. If you're into having your guts ripped to shreds then yeah, this is the fuckin' tail for u. I, however, am a coward Spicy thoughts aside though this thing is sick, probably one of the coolest tails in arknights design/aesthetics-wise. Layered spiky scales with a slick black/red gradient is, for lack of my brain coming up with a better word, fucking sick. Sizeable length, fairly thick at the base, and hard as a rock. This thing's gotta be strong as hell too. Effectively a mace when whipped at high speeds, but I'm sure there's spots on it that wouldn't immediately break skin if you lightly touched them. Saria tail rating: the goth girl im too afraid to be

#gubbles' official tail ratings #saria arknights #arknights

[lady-ashfade]

Never come back.

Day 5 Of Fictober.

Human!Bakusquad x Naga!Reader. Quick drabble.

A lot to happen in a short amount of time. Idk with this but I thought about it.

Warnings: threatening from reader, readers dark pasted mentioned, cussing, horrible writing on this one, fish death.

In every story there is always a girl falling in love with the monster she finds in a cave. But in this story you are the girl in the cave, alone with your treasure. Far from any human connection and where no one should ever find, with millions of gold trinkets and gold safe within your protection. You lived many years from hatching alone with empty eggs of your siblings and a mother with no heartbeat. Only for your father to be the only one was left and who raised you while he could, teaches you to speak and how to hunt. He taught you how to survive one your own, knowing one day he’d be gone.

Being alone meant you got to pick a new home for yourself where not even the deadest of predators could find you. A cave with a lake within it, much space to climb and slither around and keep your treasure in. Your heart aches for someone to love and to keep you company but to afraid to look for them. After all you lost so much already and being alone was all you knew. You spent years clearing and moving things around in case anyone found you. But no one would be as stupid to enter your home…

“Dude, look how cool this shit looks.”

The group watch denki shine his flashlight around the dark and wet cave walls. Everyone watches their step and looked around themselves. “Does anyone feel like we shouldn’t be here?” Kirishima asked as he tugged at his backpack straps. Mine nodded at the redhead, “It was so warm outside but this place is so cold.” She shivered. The group were in summer clothes that weren’t made for this type of situation.

“Shut up, fuckin pussies.” Bakugo rilled his eyes and walked in front of the two, his phone shining his own light. “Came here to find some shit remember? It was your fuckin’ idea.” He sent a back glare at kiri as the man just shrugged. Mina held onto kirishimas arm and rolled her eyes at the blonde. “Actually, it was my idea.” She smirked as he turned his head and gave her a snarl with flared nostrils.

“Great, then you probably lead us to almost getting kill- Again! I had to save all our asses last time.” He shouted and his voice was so loud throughout the cave. Mina giggled and rushed to him and jumped onto his back almost making him fall, “But this time I have a good feeling.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and he blushed light pink for a moment before turning his head. His arms hooked under her legs as she wrapped her legs around his waist and neck.

“I wish I could smoke down here,” sero sighed and kicked a rock. “Left my shit at camp.”

Denki smirked as he saw a archway like opening in the cave and saw something shining through it. He stopped in his tracks and held his hands up to stop them all, “Get the camera!” He shouted excitedly. Kiri pulled out the camera immediately and was beaming with happiness, “Rolling.” He pointed the camera at the other blonde.

Mina jumped off bakugou as denki talked to the camera like some YouTuber. Everyone sneakered at him but followed him forward wondering what he saw or what he’s up to. Bakugo yelled at the other blonde and told him to hurry up so denki did so. Soon denki was walking into the room and they all froze at the sight in front of them.

“Holy shit.”

“What the fuck?”

“About time.”

“…I’m going to buy so much clothes.”

Mine ran passed the boys and went to the gold she she saw, many jewels and jewelry, small gold cups and coins. She picked a few up and threw them in the air, “We’re so rich!” She proclaimed. Sero came at her side and looked at some of the stuff that was in the almost infinite pile of treasure. He picked up a goblet and looked at the designs engraved in the gold. Snakes running up the bottom and around the cup.

“Treasure hunters! That’s what we are.”

Kirishima turned off the camera and ran to denki and pulled him into a jumping hug, Bakugo just looked around. He was in slight shock at finding so much shit. His eyes trail to the floor and found something strange, so he walk towards it and bent down. A small fish with only its head on it’s bones not looking a day old..Nothing rooting, hell the blood was still wet.

“I don’t like this guys.” He stood up and crossed his arms. “Somethings not right, pack all you can and lets go.” He took the bag off his shoulder and threw it over to them. Staring at the group he saw them looking at him but not saying a word and barely moving, he rolled his eyes. “Can’t take orders? I swear,” he huffed.

He was about to move to do it himself until something wet dripped onto his shoulder and made him shiver. Body freezing and eyes going wide as he looked closer and realizing they weren’t staring at him…

Something wrapped around his legs and lifted him into the air before he could react, a small yell leaving his lips. “What the hell?” He ask as he was flipped upside down from whatever was hanging him. The others watch in fear as the big snake like creature got ahold of their boyfriend and held him in the air.

“Humanss~ Should have known, nothing else yells like you.” Your tongue made more sounds as it rattled out of your mouth. “A full pack here no less? Greedy little things,” you shook your tail and made the human in your clutch swing a bit as you looked down at him. “Going after my treasure.” You listened at the one you hold onto as he yells at you but you pay it no mind. Looking back at the others you glare harshly.

“How many know you’re here? I bet you wanted to have my scales~ too!” You shout and hiss at them loudly to make them flinch. They group together and hesitant their movements in fear. They looked at the human you held and you looked down at him too, they seemed to care for him…

“Mate?” You asked and juggled him around again. Your hand came up to meet his ears and his hair to look over each detail, “Plain looking human.” It was almost laughable how calm you spoke when you said it.

“Please, we didn’t know this belong to you! I swear if you let us go we’ll never return.” You drop your hands away from the boy and look at the girl talking to you. She had tears in her eyes but determination… “Can’t trust humans.”

Next thing bakugo knew he was thrown from your grip and down on the ground in front of his lovers. He groans in slight pain at the hard ground he landed on. “Humans kill us- Take my family,” you looked around and they watch you grow bigger as you get anger “Take my treasure!” You lash out and swing your tail at them. The group jump out of the way together and shout at your attempts to attack them.

“We’ll do anything,” the girl you talk to earlier fell to her knees and cried out. “Let us live.” She begged as tears rolled down her cheeks as she hit the ground. You tilt you head at the sight of a human acting such a way…you calm down and sink back down.

“Humans don’t cry- You shouldn’t..” you looked around panicked and find a necklace on the floor and toss it to her to make her stop. “Stop crying! Look, shiny.” She looked down in confusion. You just tired to kill them and now..

“You’re strange. They said you carry large weapons to skin us, they say you scream at us…” they inch back as you got closer to get a look at them, “not like others.” A idea comes to your head.

“Must be weak.” Your tail inches closer as you wrap it around each of them as they try to get away. “Protect instead. Mates- Yes, Mates.” You rub your head on theirs. You hear them protesting and the loud one calling you stupid and trying to hit you.

“My little humans.”

#katsuki bakugou #bakusqaud x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki Bakugo x reader #ejiro kirishima x reader #kirishim x reader #Mina ashido x reader #denki kaminari x reader #denki x reader #fictober #fictober event #fictober 2023

[kingkatsuki]

Dirty | Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Literally another thirst post that turned into a fic because I have absolutely no constraint. Bakugou was supposed to be more subby in this but I kinda liked the banter? The request was sucking Bakugou off when he’s desperate to piss and here we are. Thank you to whoever sent it in, it had me woozy💕

Summary: You’re out on patrol with your boss Dynamight, but he needs to use the restroom. The only problem? It’s kinda difficult to pee when your pretty little sidekick has you rock hard.

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x f!reader.

Warnings: 18+, no beta, omorashi/piss, Bakugou pisses in our mouth, blowjobs, face fucking, swallowing cum, public sex, a little smidge of degradation (to reader), hinted age gap.

Word Count: 3k.

Bakugou hated the effect you had on him, the way you could get him popping a chub beneath his hero outfit without even trying. It was as if you’d specifically designed your hero costume around trying to torture him, the way the material clung to your body as you walked ahead of him along the streets of Musutafu as you beckoned for him to hurry up.

“Yeah yeah, woman. I’m comin’,” Bakugou rolled his eyes beneath his mask as he came into step beside you, “I thought I told you to stop fuckin’ talking to me like that.”

“You love it really Katsuki, don’t lie.” Any attempts he’d made at spending this patrol without a stiffy had all but disappeared the moment you used his given name. The sound of it sliding off your tongue like smooth silk as Bakugou sucked in a breath through his clenched teeth.

“Fuck,” He muttered beneath his breath.

“What was that?” You raised a brow as you turned to face him, watching the way he pressed his gloved fingers through the loops of his belt with a huff as he adjusted his pants.

“Need’ta piss,” He replied gruffly, already looking for a public urinal that he could escape to for a few moments. If nothing else he’d be able to subdue the raging boner beneath his hero costume for a few moments before returning to patrol.

“So why didn’t you say when we were at the agency?” You huffed in irritation, knowing full well there wasn’t a public restroom around this part of the city.

“Cause I didn’t need to go then, dumbass.”

“I told you not to drink that bottle of water, I said it would go straight through you-” You began to ramble and it irked him, the way you were able to ramble on about something so effortlessly with no clue about what you were doing to him, “Didn’t realise that you lost control of your bladder past thirty, old man.” 

“Just shut up– wait here.” Bakugou snarled, slipping down an empty alleyway as he hid behind a large dumpster, fiddling with his belt as you watched at the opening. 

Staring intently at the way he bit the middle finger of his glove, keeping it held in his mouth as he pulled it off his hand. The sight of his clenched teeth had your clit throbbing between your thighs as you rubbed them together to give yourself some relief as you decided to face the street. Keeping a lookout for any pedestrians that might be walking by, but this area of the city seemed to be pretty quiet unless it was peak hours when the nightlife had the streets packed to the brim.

“Hurry up, I wanna try and get back to the agency before it starts pissing it down,” You laughed at your own joke as Bakugou turned to glare at you over the garbage bin, lifting his hand to give you the finger as you turned your back to him.

You were tempted to peek, the thought of Bakugou’s hand wrapped around his thick cock had your body pulsing, trying to imagine what he looked like even when his cock wasn’t hard. You weren’t naive, you’d seen the way his trousers would tent when you’d both successfully apprehended a villain, the victory clearly sending a swell of pride directly to his cock.

If only you knew the real reason why he was hard so often around you–

“Fuck,” Bakugou snarled, the word muffled by the glove that was still between his teeth. 

The familiar clang of his metal filled the air as he pulled his pants back up, fiddling with the buckle of the utility belt.

“You good?” You called, his vermillion eyes shot you a glare, “Hey– what’s wrong?”

“I can’t go-” He snarled, shoving his glove back on his hand as he moved towards the end of the alley to meet you.

“But I thought you said you were desperate.” You snorted.

“I am,” The questions were irritating him now, the sooner he could get back to the agency and take care of his little problem the better. Fisting his cock in the warm showers at the agency at the thought of you would allow him to kill two birds with one stone, he just had to make its back there.

“So why didn’t you-” You raised a brow in confusion, “Should I walk down the street?”

“No,” He scoffed, shaking his head, “Let’s just go-”

“But you said you were desperate.” You couldn’t help yourself as you looked down at his crotch, noticing the way he shifted his legs from foot to foot as he stood in front of you impatiently, “Oh, you’re hard.”

“Hah?” Bakugou’s eyes widened beneath his hero mask.

“Is that why you can’t go?” You tilted your head to the side and Bakugou could’ve killed you then for looking so fucking cute. You definitely were not helping, his cock throbbed beneath his pants as he felt pre begin to stain his boxers, the fabric sticking to his skin uncomfortably. 

“Shut up,” He tried to walk ahead of you, but you were quick to clasp his forearm, “Stop talkin’ shit and let’s just fuckin’ go.”

His bladder ached now, a tight throb in his pelvis as he tried to ignore the sensation. There was no way he’d be able to go with his cock rock hard, and you were going to make sure he stayed hard until the end of this patrol. All he could do is try and imagine the most disgusting and unarousing scenarios imaginable to alleviate the growing tension between his thighs, his nostrils flaring as he tried to take a deep breath.

“Katsuki,” Oh, fuck. You had to go and say his name in that saccharine tone again, his cock pressed dangerously against the fabric of his pants as it demanded freedom. Certain you’d be able to see the thick veins that ran along the underside of his length pulsating against the material as he bit back a moan, “Maybe I can help?”

“No, you can’t,” He grunted, “Hurry the fuck up-”

“But, Katsuki.” You leaned forward to press your palm against the tent in his pants, watching the way his hips jerked messily as he leaned into your touch. Wide eyes looking down at where your hand pressed against him as his cock throbbed painfully.

“Shit,” He hissed, “Don’t fuckin’ do that-” A gloved palm wrapped around your wrist to pull your hand away, but you tightened your grip around his length, fingers finding the shape of him beneath his boxers as he involuntarily rocked into your touch.  

“Come on, Dynamight.” You cooed, “You can’t spend the rest of the patrol like this. What would the city think? Let me help you-”

Bakugou felt conflicted as his eyes darted around the empty streets, wondering whether getting caught with his pants around his ankles would be more embarrassing than an article about him having a chub on the job. Allowing you to take his palm in yours as you dragged him back to where he’d been standing moments earlier down the deserted alleyway.

“Be quick,” He grunted, watching your hands slip into the buckle of his utility belt as you undid it, letting the heavy weight of his sweat-filled grenades sag his trousers as it revealed his grey boxers beneath.

Biting down on your bottom lip as you noticed the dark grey patch against his boxers where his pre had soaked through the fabric, licking your lips at the sight.

“You sure you didn’t go already, Katsu?” You laughed at the way his cheeks flushed at the words, his gloved palms already moving to tug his pants back up before you stopped him, “–Wait! I was only joking, Kats– please?”

“Didn’t fuckin’ piss my pants.” He grumbled, cheeks a dark red as you reached out to wrap your palm around his length through his boxers, jerking him softly.

“I know,” You cooed, “Sexy that you’re this turned on though.”

Bakugou’s eyes clenched shut as you stroked him through his pants, certain that if he took one look at you with the way you were touching him, you’d have him coming in his underwear. Deft fingers slipped beneath the hem of his boxers to tug them down just enough to free his aching cock, the heavy weight of it had it drooping towards his thighs as you licked your lips at the sight. The swollen head was slick with pre as it beaded at the slit, thick veins scattered along his girth to make him appear larger than he was, which was no mean feat. He was huge. No wonder you were always able to see him hard during his shifts, you were certain his length would still be impressive soft.

“Hurry the fuck up,” Bakugou spoke, but there was no real malice behind his words, “‘nd don’t make a mess.”

“So bossy,” You laughed softly, as you dropped down onto your knees.

“What are you doing?” Bakugou’s eyes widened beneath his mask at the sight of you looking up at him from between his thighs.

“Helping you,” You replied simply before leaning forward and swiping your tongue against the bead of pre that leaked from the tip of his cock.

“Jesus,” Bakugou threw his head back with a resounding bang as it knocked against the brick wall. His hips jerked roughly at the sensation, nudging the fat tip against your cheek as you smiled up at him. Noticing the way his eyes were clenched shut as he tried to open them to small slits to peek down at you, grinning as you repeated the motion.

“Is this okay?” You leaned forward again, this time taking the tip of his cock inside your mouth as you sucked softly, watching his nose scrunch as he clenched his teeth.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, woman.” He groaned, “It fuckin’ hurts,”

“Poor baby,” You coo, “Then why don’t you just relax and let me help you.”

The tip of your tongue presses into the slit of his cock as Bakugou hissed at the sensation, his hips cant forward to nudge his tip against your lips. Opening your mouth to take him deeper, feeling the heavy weight of his cock on your tongue as you stare up at him with sweet eyes that only serve to heighten his desire. Humming softly to send pleasurable vibrations around his cock as you begin to set a languid pace, bobbing your head along his length as you reach a hand up to paw at his thick balls.

“Oh, fuck.” He snarled as your tongue salved against the bottom of his length, following the pattern of one of the thick veins along the underside as you sucked his cock.

Bakugou’s chest was concaving as he tried to ignore the harsh throb in his bladder from his desperation to piss, the sensation throbbed through his lower half as it fought to take over his pleasure.

Your cheeks hollowed as you sucked him with more vigour, the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat with each forward motion as the hairs at the base tickled your nose. Your cunt throbbed with neglect as you squeezed your thighs together, trying to give your clit some much-needed stimulation as your tongue continued to swirl along the underside of his length.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Bakugou continued to mumble incoherently as he began to rock his hips into your touch, pushing his cock deeper inside your mouth as he balled his hands into fists at his sides, unsure where to place his hands as he continued to watch you worship his cock.

Your free hand moved to wrap around his wrist, your fingers barely connecting as you moved his hand to the back of your head. Encouraging him to hold onto you as he splayed his hand against your hair, wishing he wasn’t wearing gloves so you could feel his skin against yours. But you could still feel the warmth of him through the material as he began to guide your movements, pressing you down harder against his cock as you gagged around him.

“Fuck, sweetheart.” He groaned huskily, “Sound so fuckin’ pretty gagging for me like that.”

His words made you want to do it again, pressing yourself forward to take as much of his cock inside your mouth as you could. Blinking back the tears that clung to your lashes as you gagged around him again, a mixture of spit and pre began to drool down your chin. Pulling back for a moment to catch your breath as silvery lines connected you to his length before moving forward to pull him back inside your mouth.

“Shit,” Bakugou hissed as he used his grip to hold you down against his cock, the sensation of you gagging around him had shivers running down his spine as he almost forgot how desperately he needed to urinate. The only thing on his mind was how pretty you looked with your lips wrapped around his cock, an image he’d been fucking his fist to for months– ever since he’d been introduced to you in his office as his new sidekick. But there was nothing in this world that could’ve prepared him for how ethereal you looked on your knees for him now, his fantasies paled in comparison as he tried to commit the sight to memory, “So fuckin’ pretty, princess.”

You keened at his praise, one of your fingers brushed against his taint as you massaged his balls, trying to coax his climax out of him as he lazily rocked his hips into your touch.

“So, damn, good,” Each word was pronounced with a rut of his hips as he found himself closer to his climax.

“You gonna cum for me, Katsu?” You cooed, half-lidded eyes gazing up at him from under your lashes as your palm moved to pump his cock softly.

“I dunno if I even can,” He groaned, “Shit hurts.”

“Poor, baby.” You whispered condescending, your lips curling into a small smile, “I know you can do it, Katsuki. I know you wanna– don’t you want me to make you cum?”

“Fuck– shit– yes– fuck,” He began to ramble as you took him inside your warmth again, sucking him with more vigour as you fondled his balls, working him towards his release, “I’m gonna fuckin’ cum.” 

You hummed around his cock as you sucked him hard, humming to send pleasurable vibrations along his length as he began to quiver against you. His fingers dug into your scalp through the glove as he held your head steady, shamelessly thrusting his hips against your lips as he fucked your face. Using you for his own release as he began to sway on the edge of his climax, waiting for something to have him flying over the edge as you gave his balls a final rough squeeze. His ass clenching as a slew of obscenities left his lips. Banging his head against the wall again as he came, emptying white warm spurts of cum inside your eager mouth. 

“I’m– fuck, I’m sorry–” He grunted through throngs of pleasure, “I should’ve fuckin’ said I didn’t think– oh fuck,” 

You pulled back with a wet pop as you continued to squeeze his still painfully hard cock, swallowing his cum as you smiled up at him eagerly, still stroking his cock.

“Get off,” Bakugou tried to move away from you as he felt the forgotten throb begin in his bladder again, feeling the wall inside his urethra switch as he allowed himself to succumb to the relief, “Gonna fuckin’ piss-”

You made no attempt to move as you stared up at him expectantly, the sight already had Bakugou’s hips stuttering as you pinned him against the wall. With nowhere to go, and his resolve crumbled he began to release a warm stream of pee against your face and chest. 

You held his cock with uncertainty as you tried to direct the stream towards your mouth, feeling the warmth of it hit your tongue before it trickled down against your hero outfit and onto the cool ground of the alleyway. 

“Jesus christ,” Bakugou groaned at the way you shamelessly opened your mouth for him, your tongue slipping out to show him your mouth empty of his cum and now tasting the stream of his piss as it trickled out of his cock, “You dirty slut.”

It was a different kind of euphoria that Bakugou felt after coming so hard, finally releasing the tension in his bladder. Feeling lightheaded as he rested his head against the dirty wall, his chest heaving as he tried to regain his breath as he continued to empty his bladder with you between his thighs. There was something so depraved, so lewd about having his sweet little sidekick on her knees for him in such a public setting. Especially knowing that you were so far away from the agency and you were going to have to walk back completely covered in him. His pelvis quivered at the thought as a possessive dominance washed over him at the sight of you so eager on your knees– a complete and utter mess for him.

“Good boy,” You cooed, giving his soft cock a shake as the stream began to thin out before pressing the tip of your thumb against his slit when it stopped, licking your lips as you gazed up at him with doe-like eyes. Bakugou’s teeth clenched together as he could already feel his semi-hard cock throbbing back to attention as you pressed a soft kiss to the tip.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it? Didn’t think the great Dynamight would get performance anxiety taking a piss.” You teased, sticking your tongue out at him before licking your lips. 

Bakugou’s nostrils flared at the condescending tone of your voice, his hands rough as they pulled you up from your knees, feeling a slight ache in your legs from lack of use as you stumbled against the wall. Your cheek pressed against it as Bakugou rut his hips against your ass, his breath warm against the side of your face as his lips brushed your ear, “Do you wanna say that again, little girl?”

#tw:piss #trigger:piss #bakugou smut #bakugou x reader #bakugou thirst #jo thirsts #thirst posts

[luciothedevil]

Polycule ghost x soap x könig x GN reader headcanons

This is basicallyJust my 2 am ramblings tbh sorry if it's not structured I didn't edit lmao

Sleep routine with the boys

Soap tends to be a semi chaotic sleeper in the sense that most nights he fidgets and moves around in his sleep due to his active brain. He's even kicked someone on multiple occasions and when he's asked he says he has no recollection of ever doing it you've made fun of him on multiple accounts for it and have even woken him up in the middle of the night for kicking you to which he'd apologized sleepily and kissed your head before knocking right back out.

König doesn't mind too much he's a deep sleeper and sleeps like a goddamn rock once he's out he's gone it's hard to get him to wake up again at least back at home when he feels safe and like theres no impending doom around the corner he's also a cuddler the person closest to him will be getting a leg thrown around them and pulled closer to him no ifs and or buts soap loves it ghost is indifferent though it is a bit annoying as no doubt he'll get warm since König is a fucking furnace as well as himself usually if it gets to hot he'll push König away into either you or soap who won't mind as much.

Ghost gets extremely annoyed at soaps sleeping habits because he is an extremely light sleeper someone who wakes at the sound of wind scratching against the window, yeah he's that type of light sleeper usually if soap is too active at night he'll find himself leaving the sleep pile and going to lay on the couch to hopefully catch a little rest. Usually he doesn't. Sometimes you'll wake up and find Ghost gone. You'll go downstairs and find him staring listless at a wall. He notices you instantly "why are you up?"

"I think the question is why are you up?" You'd say.

"Couldn't sleep with Johnny being a fuckin' tornado" in that annoyed grumbly tone you'd come to love you'd come down and cuddle with him just sitting in silence or maybe talking about nothing important just to pass the time eventually you'd probably get all exhausted and ghost will direct you to go back upstairs and sleep even if you tell him no he'll still try and get you to sleep remarking he doesn't want you being all cranky in the morning. He'll carry you upstairs if he has to.

He doesn't tell you early on in the relationship but he's used to staying up because he often suffers from nightmares which you'd all later learn into the relationship

Morning routine with the boys

Ghost is always up before all of you probably preparing tea or coffee he would cook breakfast but he sucks at cooking so that's usually up to könig or you if you suck at cooking then könig is the designated house chef as he's extremely good at cooking a meal.

He makes you all try his Austrian dishes. He'll also learn English and Scottish dishes for soap and ghost so they feel at home. He'll also try a hand at your culture's dishes taking notes from either you or your family to make them as authentic as possible.

Soap always compliments König's work and even tries to help him in the kitchen occasionally but it always ends up with soap making a mess and König getting overwhelmed at all the cleaning he'll have to do (König also has adhd which makes it easy to get overwhelmed by tasks) you'll probably have to step in and help out with the cleaning or else König will just stand their overwhelmed trying to figure out what he needs to clean first. You've all learned having soap in the kitchen is mostly a no go but there are still attempts made König just needs to learn to watch soap and chastise him when he's not cleaning up after himself.

PDA

Soap is extremely clingy it doesn't matter If it's you ghost or König he has to be touching one of his partners nearly always he's learnt that while ghost and könig are a bit averse to pda (moreso ghost, könig is just shy and takes a bit to get used to the idea of it) you'll allow it but only in small doses. he knows to be good in public with the boys and tries not to go overboard with you but he just can't help it sometimes, he's got lots of love to give so he'd prosper better if you were someone who liked pda are is at least okay with it in certain aspects.

Ghost doesn't like pda I wouldn't say he necessarily hates it but he's reserved with his affections in public he'll let you or soap hold onto his arm if you really want to and maybe give you guys a peck or two but that's about as far as he goes he's not like soap he won't makeout with you guys in public with no shame like soap would if you guys allowed it. He also doesn't appreciate the strange stares you guys get in public when/if people put the pieces together that no you aren't just friends going out together.

König is a mixed bag it really just depends on how long you've been in a relationship at the start he's a bit averse to pda he's not used to affection in general but he's slowly gotten used to it and even crave it however showing it in public freely is a whole nother can of worms he's kind of envious with the way soap can show you guys off so easily without even thinking twice about it. He tries to take a page from Soap's book and slowly lean out of his shell starting with small pecks on the cheek leading to handholding and all that stuff he gets really proud of himself when he's able to publicly hold onto one of or multiple of you guys without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

Random/crack headcanons

König is obsessed with physical intimacy. When he gets used to it he absolutely loves anything to do with touch.

Please let him rest on your chest and play with his hair, he absolutely melts into you and becomes putty in your hands hardly able to form a thought other then 'this feels good'

He finds it so endearing when soap plays with his hands; tracing the palms and the lines on his fingers when he gets bored.

Similarly he enjoys it when you trace your fingers across his scars he'll always shudder at the way you touch him so gently as if you could hurt someone as big as him like you think he's fragile. It makes his head spin from how fast his heart pumps. It's such a nice change from the usually harsh things he feels on his skin he can't help but let out soft whimpers every now and again which promptly cause him to blush. Soap definitely teases him for it.

König likes to chill with Ghost; they're similar in the sense that they mostly thrive in quieter spaces unlike soap who loves chaos. They could be reading or watching a show together or simply just sitting in the same room doing different things to them that's considered quality time together even if they don't necessarily interact.

When the boys are too tired to go out, soap will most definitely force you to go outside with him. if you are also an introvert like the other two he'll beg and use puppy dog eyes if he has to its worked on Ghost a number of times he always says "fuckin' hell" but he'll nearly always relent to whatever soap asks this also goes for you too all you have to do is bat your eyelashes at him or beg and he'll give in. you guys almost never have to do that for König as he's almost always willing to go do whatever you and soap want even if he doesn't particularly like going outside.

Ghost sucks at video games, literally all of them no matter how easy the game is he's going to find a way to screw it up he'll play if you want him to. He's just going to suck.

You; Simon get away from the creeper! *cue him blowing up*

You: How the fuck did you die I left for five seconds"

You: Did you seriously just run into that wall?"

Simon: :[

You: *he gets spooked and thinks you're an enemy running across the screen* Simon stop shooting me *you die* Jesus fucking Christ Simon!

He is not having a great time but he loves you so he puts up with it

Somehow soap will always beat you at mortal kombat all he does is mash buttons and yet he still wins no matter what

König loves video games, he loves elden ring and rdr2 and tries to get Ghost to play elden ring just so he can watch him rage.

Soap headbutts to show affection like a cat.

Both soap and König have Adhd just different types.

Ghost will always ask you and the boys about their days during dinner. He likes to know what you guys got up to and if someone was bothering any of you.

____

First post hopefully many more to come but who knows writersblock is a bitch request something if you want I do any mw2 character

#könig x y/n #könig x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #john mactavish x you #john mactavish x reader #soap x you #soap x reader #simon riley x reader #soap x könig x ghost x reader

[underworld-park-offical]

TOLKIEN: Zzzzzzzzrzrzrzrrzzzz

TOLKIEN: Zzazzazazezezezezezrzrzzrrzrrr

PHONE: ♪ I'M A BARBIE GIRL ♪

PHONE: ♪ IN THE BARBIE WORLD ♪

PHONE: ♪ LIFE IN PLASTIC ♪

PHONE: ♪ IT'S FANTASTIC ♪

TOLKIEN: Huhhheheehdbfd…

TOLKIEN: Huh

TOLKIEN: What

TOLKIEN: What the fuck?

TOLKIEN: Why is my phone going off?

TOLKIEN: Are the fucking queers calling me again?

TOLKIEN: Eeeeyup its them

TOLKIEN: What

GARY: Have you ever been beaten by a wet spaghetti noodle by your girlfriend cuz she has a twin sister and you got confused and fucked her dad, well that’s how it feels to drive a Ford F-250. That sounds really cool. But you know what else is cool? The new 2020 Ford F-150, winner of 10 J.D. power awards. Perfect for hauling big things and going long distances. But you want to go offroad? Try the new Raptor Edition, which cannot just go offroad, it is perfect for going extreme off-roading. You can go rock climbing or across a desert, really quickly. It is also good for the great American thing - BBQs! In fact, you can haul MORE than one oven! That's pretty cool, huh? So hurry, and buy the new 2020 Ford F-150, now for sale at your local Ford dealership. RED: Wgat RED: Stop RED: Stop speaking BEBE: Girl get the tape from the backseat RED: Already on it NICHOLE: Heyyyy Tolkien NICHOLE: Did I wake you?

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: No..

NICHOLE: Oh NICHOLE: That’s  NICHOLE: That's good

TOLKIEN: What's going on

NICHOLE: So uhm NICHOLE: Ahahaha NICHOLE: Funny story

TOLKIEN: Nichole what did you do??

TOLKIEN: Did you fuckin

TOLKIEN: Commit fraud?

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: Again?

NICHOLE: What NICHOLE: No NICHOLE: Of course not NICHOLE: I am a law abiding citizen NICHOLE: Except for when it comes to the Barbie Movies

TOLKIEN: Okay? We’ve all  pirated a Barbie Movie

TOLKIEN: What makes you special?

TOLKIEN: If it's not fraud or piracy what did you even do

NICHOLE: There’s a sentient advertisement in our Porsche now

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: Excuse me?

NICHOLE: Yeah uh NICHOLE: We saw Gary NICHOLE: Or G-4R-Y if you wanna use his actual name? NICHOLE: Fuck I don't know anymore NICHOLE: He was walking in the cold for some reason? NICHOLE: And you know how he only speaks in ads?

TOLKIEN: We all do

BEBE: Wait BITCH do you think we could reprogram him to be like

BEBE: An ALEXA???

GARY: Need some music for that impromptu dance off? Ask Alexa to play songs or playlists from Prime Music and Spotify so you're always ready to show off your sweet moves-if that's what you call them ;) "Amazon Echo: Alec Baldwin and Missy Elliott Dance Party Commercial" via @popisms :https://www.popisms.com/TelevisionCommercial/126873/Amazon-Echo-Commercial-2016 GARY: I really don't want you to see me like this. You need some entrance music. Alexa, play Alex dance playlist. Playing Alex playlist. That's dance music? Alexa, play Pep Rally by Missy Elliott. Really? Perfect! I got a little something for you. It's beautiful. Does this mean I'm gonna be in your next video? Let me see what you got. (Lyrics) Anything you want me to (Lyrics) Pep rally, pep rally, pep rally Oh, this a pep rally Pep rally, pep rally, pep rally Bounce, biggity bounce, biggity-biggity bounce, bounce Where my clappers that stomp? Now rock with it Bounce, biggity bounce, biggity-biggity bounce via @popisms : https://www.popisms.com/TelevisionCommercial/126873/Amazon-Echo-Commercial-2016 GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises! RED: I mean RED: I’ll become a mechanic if it gets him to stfu 💀💀💀 WENDY: No- RED- NO PUT THE WRENCH DOWN! RED: FUCK YOU GARY: The future. You used to chase it. Now you’re living in it. The Wavefront is an all-electric automobile that propels driving into a new era. With sleek, aerodynamic design, and ultrasonic sensors that prevent collisions, there’s no more getting left behind. Life’s short. Drive fast.  GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises! RED: SHUT THE FUCK UP!! WENDY: RED!! NO!! BEBE: GIRLY POPS AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU BEBE: I'M GONNA HIT A DEER IF YOU ALL DONT HUSH RED: WENDY LET ME GO I'M GONNA KILL HIM WENDY: WE ARE NOT KILLING THE AD NICHOLE: SHUT THE FUCK UP IM ON THE PHONE BEBE: SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M DRIVING!!!! RED: CAN I THROW HIM OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR??!?!?!?!?!? WENDY AND NICHOLE: NO!!! NICHOLE: Tolkien I'm gonna have to let you go NICHOLE: We might die- NICHOLE: RED PUT DOWN THE WRENCH YOU'RE GONNA KILL SOMEONE! RED: THAT'S THE GOAL!! GARY: As a parent, I want to know that my kids are safe wherever they are. That includes riding in the car. With the new Carpool Optic from Solar I can breathe easy knowing my kids will arrive where they need to safely – whether I am the driver or not. RED: AUGHHHH!!!!!! NICHOLE: I’m hanging up now NICHOLE: MMMMMMMMMOKAYBYE

TOLKIEN: Bye?

(Beep Beep Beep)

TOLKIEN: Jesus christ

TOLKIEN: (Yawn)

TOLKIEN: Man

KENNY: Hey

TOLKIEN: Ah!

TOLKIEN: Oh my god I got jumpscared by a fucking queer!

KENNY: Oh hardy har har har

KENNY: You got games on yo phone?

TOLKIEN: …

TOLKIEN: What

KENNY: Do you got games

KENNY: On yo phone

TOLKIEN: I mean like

TOLKIEN: I got like

TOLKIEN: Subway surfers??

TOLKIEN: If

TOLKIEN: If that works???

TOLKIEN: Uh

TOLKIEN: Ok?????

TOLKIEN: Here

KENNY: Thanks

KENNY: Oh yeah, can I call my sister while I play subway surfers?

KENNY: I gotta make sure she’s not

KENNY: Yknow

KENNY: Fuckin’ dead

TOLKIEN: No you’re gonna kill my damn battery

TOLKIEN: Just call your sister you dont need to play fucking subway surfers

KENNY: Fine

KENNY: Killjoy

TOLKIEN: Ugh

KAREN: I can't believe McDonald's served me that lukewarm fucking patty 

KAREN: And then had the AUDACITY to tell me KAREN: That it gets cold over time!?!?

KAREN: I think they just undercooked it ON PURPOSE to make ME look like an idiot

TRICIA: Damn, that's crazy

(🎵 KAREN METAL 🎵 )

KAREN: OH MY GOD

KAREN: WHO'S CALLING ME AT EXACTLY 1:59 IN THE MORNING?!?!?

TRICIA: Bro just say 2 AM 💀

TRICIA: …

TRICIA: I can’t believe I just said that out loud

KAREN: WHAT?!?!?

KENNY: Hi

KAREN: WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME?!?!?

KAREN: DO YOU KNOW HOW LATE IT IS?!?!?!

KAREN: I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER

KENNY: Sis it's me

KAREN: UGHHHHH

KAREN: You missed your nail appointment

KENNY: Shiiiit that was today?

KAREN: You still owe me the money for it

KENNY: … KENNY: Karen, we don't have money, we’re poor

KAREN: Get a job

KENNY: …I do have a job

KAREN: Okay so then you have money?

KENNY: No

KAREN: That doesn't make sense

KENNY: Anyways- KENNY: You alive?

KAREN: Clearly

KENNY: Okay cool KENNY: So uh KENNY: There's demons around, I hope they find you and kill you and you die bye

KAREN: …What?

KAREN: Tricia do you know what the fuck he’s talking about?

TRICIA: No

TRICIA: Also stop calling on speakerphone

TRICIA: You remind me of my brother (derogatorily) 

TRICIA: …

TRICIA: WHY DO I KEEP DOING THAT!?!??!

TRICIA: UGHHH

TRICIA: I’m gonna go yell at my brother by cursing me into the influencer gene pool

TRICIA: You wanna come?

KAREN: If I get to yell at someone, of course

TRICIA: Be-

TRICIA: …

TRICIA: I'm not even gonna say that 

CRAIG: Who the fuck where you talking to

CRAIG: I feel like they were talking shit smh my head

KENNY: Oh just my bitch sister and your bitch sister

KENNY: Told her she was gonna die soon

CRAIG: LMAOOOO I’m dead 💀💀💀

KENNY: Lol it was funny she was so mad

TOLKIEN: I swear to god you guys are the same person sometimes

CRAIG: Smh my head no literally untrue

KENNY: Common Tolkien L

TOLKIEN: I want you both dead

CRAIG: …

KENNY: …

TRICIA: Okay where tf is blud

TRICIA: I'm gonna kill his ass

KAREN: Ugh

KAREN: He probably set up Kenny to fucking prank us

KAREN: Going to yell at them both when we find them

TRICIA: For real

TRICIA: Smh my fucking head

TRICIA: OH MY GOD CAN I STOP DOING THAT!?!?

KAREN: There's his door

KAREN: Should I kick it down?

TRICIA: No he will literally kill me

TRICIA: Instead we’re gonna go in his room

TRICIA: Steal all his shit

TRICIA: And fucking burn it

KAREN: Ohh yay! Property damage! My favorite!

TRICIA: Shhh shhh shhhh

TRICIA: Stfu

TRICIA: He’ll hear us

KAREN: No

KAREN: You're not the boss of me

TRICIA: Okay

TRICIA: On three

TRICIA: One- Two-

KAREN: THREE

KAREN: Ew it's so dark in here

KAREN: It smells like fucking Ccool Ranch Doritos in here

TRICIA: Shut the fuck up

TRICIA: He’s gonna hear you

TRICIA: I know where he keeps his Supreme hoodies

TRICIA: HOOOOOLY SHIT IS THAT A DEAD BODY!??!?!?!?

KAREN: AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

KAREN: WE ARE GONNA DIE

KAREN: GET THE MANAGER!!

TRICIA: SHUT THE FUCK UP THE KILLER COULD STILL BE HERE YOU QUEERMO

GREGORY AND ESTELLA: Shhhhh he eepy

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

TRICIA: …

KAREN: …

KAREN AND TRICIA: AAAAAAAAAAA-

TRICIA: Okay

TRICIA: HAILLLL NAWHHHHH

KAREN: I’m calling the police

TRICIA: That is the smartest thing you could ever do

KAREN: Hello? 911?

KAREN: Hi yeah, there's some queers in our house

KAREN: Please come

KAREN: Bye

(Edits made by @pissblanket and @cattpup5)

#craig tucker #craigfluencer #hellpark #south park #south park edits #sp #southpark #underworld park #underworld park estella #underworld park tolkien #underworld park gregory #underworld park gary #underworld park hype house #underworld park thomas #underworld park tweek #underworld park clyde #underworld park cartman #team gregory cutie pie 3rd #gregory cutie pie vrs craig the real tucker #underworld park kenny #underworld park stan #underworld park kyle #blue haired cartman

[punks-never-die205]

How do you think K&K would behave during their first kiss with s/o? I mean, who would be the first to kiss s/o? Or they would kiss all at the same time lol.

And how about their first intimate time together? Who would start and who would "take the lead"? Whould they be more soft since is the first time?

Sorry for the many questions, I'm obsessed with these 2😍

No need to apologize, but I'm going to cheat a little.

How they act and react would depend on things with their s/o at least a little, but I do see both of them as tops and doms more than bottoms and subs - and because of the confidence factor they both tend to have, I'd see them being more apt to take the lead.

Now, an experienced/cheeky s/o might get the jump on either one, but they're not going to stay in control unless they're really willing to fight for it xD

But! have some First Kiss moments from A Light Touch and Unseen, my eustass kid x reader and killer x reader respectively.

A Light Touch:

"... I want to touch you." "You already are, Mouse." He muses quietly. "I want you," you poke him to emphasize your point. "To want to kiss me." "Pretty ballsy for a little mouse," Kid's voice is husky as the warmth of his right arm slips around your waist. His prosthetic – designed for the kind of fine detail work he had to do for your hand's creation – slips under your chin, tilting your head back. You swallow as your eyes focus on his lips for a moment before looking into his eyes. "Gotta be, if I'm gonna be your Mouse." You're sure your face is bright red but seeing Kid's eyes go wide makes the embarrassment worth it. "Fuckin' hells, Mouse." Eustass swears as his prosthetic slips into your hair, and he pulls you into a kiss. The taste of lipstick gives way to the scent of the workshop – the smells of Eustass Kid - wood, metal and heat. He leans back, just enough to break the kiss, and you wrap your arms around his neck, your fingers going into his hair. You pull him toward you, and he complies, leaning back down into another kiss. He pulls you in closer than before, and you're held against a body that feels more like rock than flesh. There's a tug at your hair that causes you to gasp, and Kid pushes into your mouth without hesitation, his hot tongue causing your breath to catch as he controls the kiss and embrace roughly. It sends a rush through your chest and a soft moan slips into your mouth, causing the corners of his lips to pull into a grin. "That's a nice sound, Mouse," He says, his voice smoother than you've heard before now. "Make me make more, Kid." You demand, this first kiss making you needy.

And Unseen:

He leans in and you feel the barest hint of his lips against yours before he whispers your name, soft and sweet like silk and honeysuckle. The space between you vanishes. His lips press against yours and your breath stops in your throat. You push against him almost involuntarily, and your fingers wander. His hands flex against your body as he sets you against the wall. Breaking the kiss for a moment, your already needy gasps mingling in the small space between, you wrap your legs around his waist. "I don't want to sound ungrateful," you whisper, your voice nearly falling apart as it leaves your lips, "But I hope you mean to kiss me more than that." With your back braced against the wall, he only needs one hand to keep you steady. His other hand slips around to the back of your neck, tangling his fingers in your hair. He leans into the kiss again, but this time his tongue presses against your lips. With a shiver at the delicious sensation of it you open up and let him in. Kid might have commanded obedience with fire and charisma, but Killer had his blade at your neck before you could even hoped to be commanded. His kiss was just as absolute, it was almost overwhelming, and you could feel the rush welling up in your eyes. The heat and passion of the inescapable embrace he has you in threatens to consume you and it wasn't until he broke off the kiss that you realize you'd almost been out of air. You gasp and tremble against him, holding on as though you'd be plunged back into the depths if you let go. You could feel his breath against your neck, hot and heavy as your own. He nuzzles into your neck and kisses gently along the crook of it. Each tender action eliciting a stifled moan from you.

#eustass kid #x reader #reader insert #quin answers #side blog #anon asks #massacre soldier killer

[transformhim]

gonna commit to writing a few shorties, just to get myself back into the swing of it 🫠

I finally came to, unblinking but definitely conscious, looking face up at a whole lot of ass.

Wait… My ass..?

“Whassup, Donovan?” I heard my deep voice say. My body scratched its head right before it turned around to face me, noticeably hard as a rock.

“What a trip, huh?” My body continued with a cheeky chuckle, said with the same perky cadence as my roommate, Jiao.

Fucking Jiao, I knew it! He’s always been into freaky shit and always ogled at me. Always with the homo shit, too... He orders shit online like money meant nothing to him, and... sure, I’ll admit that I’ve taken one or two things from his boxes when they’ve arrived in the mail, but only because I’m sure with his family money he wouldn’t be missing a lot. And so what? His designer clothes looked better on me anyways, especially how they hugged my frame due to his much smaller size. I thought that’s what the box on the coffee table contained when I opened it up this morning... some more of his hundred dollar clothing to add to my growing collection... but apparently not. I can only remember opening the box and... my fingers barely grazing whatever it was that was inside... and then nothing. Apparently, something much stranger was going on. I couldn’t move my head, I couldn’t move my lips, I couldn’t do anything. I was fucking paralyzed.

“Weird, huh?” He continued as I blasted through hundreds of obscenities and insults, each of them blazing through my head with red-hot fury but none of them able to come out of my mouth. “For a first-time transference? It’s… Whoo, boy, it’s a doozy. Feeling stiff? Feeling confused? It’s natural, don’t worry. But… Jesus, FUCK boy, your bod is fuckin’ TIGHT!” He said, shaking out my large arm muscles and reaching down to pick me up with a giggle.

He picked me up with incredible ease, as if I weighed nothing at all. I felt my fingers curl around me snugly, turning me over this way and that in the palm of my hand. What in the fuck was going on?? Why was I fitting around in his hand like a doll??

“Let’s take you on a little tour, hmm?” He grinned down at me. He hummed in my booming baritone as we walked towards the hallway to our rooms. Jiao stopped in front of the door to his own room and turned the handle. “And behind door number one...”

He opened the door to reveal his own body... Was it sleeping? Entranced? It certainly wasn’t moving, same stiff-as-a-board, lifeless state as I was currently in.

“Look familiar? I’ll just keep hanging out there until you and I are done here. But now... Ready to see the big reveal?” He grinned back down at me with that same knowing, dickish smirk. He walked towards his bathroom and I could see the reflection of my body walk into the mirror with that tall, glidy strut Jiao always had, but I couldn’t see my own reflection. Looking closely, I could see that he was holding.. some kind of action figure in his hand? Or was it a toy? But with that pink, pearlescent silicone, it looked like it could only be—

OH MY GOD.

“Love this new look of yours, by the way,” Jiao laughed out with a deep boom as he wiggled around the shiny, pink dildo between his fingers. As he wiggled, my vision went to and fro with the wiggle of the dildo. That FUCKING FAIRY turned me into one of his dildos!!

“Don’t worry though, babe, you’ll get back this sweet deliciousness,” he cooed, running a hand down my firm, hard-earned physique. ‘Babe,’ I hated when he called me that. “But first… we have a lot to do together.” He brought me up face-level to him, my own face staring back at me with giant-sized proportions.

“Oh man, you and I are about to get so much closer,” a slurred with a horny grin. He brought me closer to my own face and kissed around me with my soft, pillowy lips. After a few more kisses around the entirety of my new form, he paused for a moment but then rolled my massive tongue out to guide me into his mouth. I could see and feel the dark, warm, wet, fleshiness of the inside of my mouth around my body as he welcomed the top part of my new form into his mouth. He pulled me out with a strong exhale, a giant webby trail of his saliva tracing his mouth to me. He stared at me with this carnal, drunken look in his eyes—my eyes. Like a lion looking at meat.

‘Oh fuck,’ I thought, knowing if my eyes could roll they would.

“Oh fuck,” Jiao repeated hoarsely as if he heard me, fishing my rigid, fat cock out of my briefs, tugging it greedily and intensely as he opened his mouth wide open, plunging me deep into his throat.

As I felt the slick expanse of my new form slide deeply in and out of the fleshy, dark cavern of his mouth, I could feel a whirlwind of sensations. I felt his tongue lap hungrily around my form. I felt the vacuum-like suction of his mouth and throat pull my slightly stretchy form longer and thinner as I felt more of myself slide down his throat. I felt the booming vibrations of his ecstatic moans pulse through me.

He mouth-fucked himself with me for a while until he seemed to be getting close. At which point, he quickly pulled me out of his mouth and lowered me down to his crotch. There, he placed my new form right next to my body’s shaft—a hot, thick, veiny shaft, if I say so myself, though I’d never thought I’d be this close to it—and began to pump me and his shaft together with two hands. With a few more moaning, piston-like tugs, I came face to face with my own giant-sized cock head erupting a pressurized geyser of jizz into the air, spraying out in thick, spurting ropes and dousing the bathroom mirror with noisy splats. His hips seized with jerking thrusts as the last of it seeped out of him, with much of the residual creamy remains coating the entire side of my new form up against his shaft.

With heaving breaths of air, he lifted me up higher again until I was face level with him, widening his mouth open and extending his tongue out, bringing all of me into his mouth one last time with a final greedy suck. He tightened his lips around me as he pulled me out, making sure to ingest every little drop of spooge that found its way onto my body.

“Fuck you taste good,” he smiled with more heaving pants. “Well, not you you, that just tastes like silicone and chemicals… but your baby batter? Dude, I could bottle it up and chug it.” He winked as he pulled my briefs up over my deflating tool.

“Good thing I got that out of the way, too, it’ll make me last much longer,” he reasoned as he stepped out of the bathroom and out of the door towards my own bedroom. “Oh yeah, don’t think this is all over, gotta make back all that money you stole from me over the years. I couldn’t think of a better way!”

He walked into the bedroom and slapped me down onto the low dresser I kept in my room with the suction cup on the base of my form. As I waggled lazily in my upright position, I saw him saunter over to my desktop, waking up my monitor and finding his way online.

I could see over his—my—bulging shoulders that he’d made an OnlyFans account… but using my pics, my likeness, my name, my everything. He’d been planning this for a while, that conniving fucker… He opened the webcam, went live on the account, hit record, and gave a little welcoming speech to his new subscribers. As he talked, I could see him flexing different parts of my body, flaunting my muscles. He lied over and over again about his gym routine and his favorite muscle groups to work, flashing peeks and flexes for his eager fans. Watching him, pretending like he was me, like this was the real me doing something so flashy, so revealing… it made my blood boil.

“Why don’t I just give you people what you came for?” He finally interjected during the middle of his welcome. He slowly lowered the briefs he was wearing, and slowly, eventually revealed my thick cock and balls—still slick and shiny with our session not 5 minutes earlier—to the rest of the world, swinging them around and playing with him like they were his. Standing naked in front of the camera, he did little poses with soft groans between flexes, working my body like he’d always been in it. I could see the firm contours of my ass from my vantage point and wished more than anything that I could do something about my situation.

“Pretty fuckin’ big, right?” He asked the camera, swinging my pre-leaking rod. Goddamn it, I hated him. “But I wanna play with something else today.”

He went off camera for a second, slipping quickly into his room before he came back with a bottle of something. I watched him pound the bottle into my palm, my chest jiggling with the motion, as he opened the cap and squirted something into his palm. He walked over to me and lifted me off the dresser, my suction cup loudly detaching from the wood top. He ran his other hand up and down my form, and I could feel the slick, sticky, jelly-like substance in his hand lather me up from top to bottom. Of course, he squirted a little more and spread his cheeks for the camera, I’m assuming to surround his hole with some lube too, and crawled on top of my bed.

He groaned as he positioned himself downward, extending my firm, round ass into the air, resting on my thick thighs, and looked into the camera with a sly, sexy grin.

“I hope you guys like this as much as I do!”

He lifted me up behind him until I was head-on with my own spread cheeks, my ass hair looking lubed-up and sort of welcoming from this angle. Well, I suppose there wasn’t any fighting it at this point.

He pressed me against my own hole, and I could feel the tight muscles around the rim and the warm walls of my ass surrounding me. Finally, he exhaled and my hole widened enough for him to plunge me in, immediately feeling the tight, moist walls inside my hole surrounding me.

Last thing I remember as I swung in a piston motion in and out of my own virgin hole was the loud, ecstatic, mumbled moans of my own body from outside, relishing every second.

#male transformation #male tf #male body swap #body swap tf #body swap #male possession #possession #inanimate tf #inanimate #nerd to jock #revenge #human to inanimate tf #muscle #giant #macro #soft vore

[dullahandyke]

yippee yippee yippee yippee eimear con haul!!!!

Hi. It was my birthday recently and I'm bad to shop for so instead of gifts I got money to spend at Kaizokucon. So here's a haul. Under the cut bcos I couldnt fit it nicely in one picture and I wanna ramble

ok we're gonna take it one picture at a time ^_^ the ID in the alt text explains what everything is if u just wanna see what i got without the rambling sure to come with it. links in rambling r to the artists of the fan stuff where i can find em ^_^ only one of them is a direct link to the product tho bcos some ppls shops r down and some ppl dont have all their stuff online. lemons_arent_green youre a real one

Ok the flat stuff!!! black rock shooter poster bcos i already have a figure but i liek her... badass anime girl ily.... was so so sure i saw a reigen keychain but when i went to go get one there weren't any so i got this sticker sheet instead :3 SPEAKING OF KEYCHAINS!!! yippee yippee kaguya i love you youre my special little tiempsy. yue you are a gay anime boy with a cool design. tomoyo ive always felt a kinship with you and its because im a desperate dyke. monokuma is here ig 🙄 i put him on my carabiner and hes fun to stim with. i am not immune to the sdr2 fanboying. also full disclosure ive not watched naruto (its in the spreadsheet) i just thought funko pop sasuke keychain was really really funny. my son who stares into my soul. comparatively i dont have as much to say on the badges!! luka luka fever for real girlie ily. the bandori ones were blind bags and i got himari on my first try <3<3<3<3<3<3 sorry eve i kind of dont care. 🙁 the dr girlies i kinda picked at random based on who i've been vibing w lately.

THE POKEMON DIORAMA!!!! its soooo cool, staff were setting up the trade hall so i was in there all day friday and this shop was one of the first to set up their stands and i was literally staring at it all day... so fucking awesome. the rings n the necklace r from the same shop look at them... im fucking obsessed w the catgirl necklace. literally look at her. i dont thiiink shes supposed to be a specific character but she might be. oh well. cat girl ily. aaaand the arisa stand is actually a little clip for papers n stuff!! she was also a blind box but specifically for popipa so i was gonna b happy w whoever <3

MIIIIKUUUUUU MY PRINCESS MY EVERYTHING!!!!! she was calling to me she beckoned..... shes actually rlly big irl shes the biggest figure i have, replacing my kokoro one... shes the one where i audibly said 'it was my birthday i can buy things' bcos figures spencey... she wasnt too bad actually i just like bitching. 6 euro axel for scale

BOOKS 💥💥💥 i was reading nana a while back and i dropped it but i gotta pick it up again... rlly pretty and awesome... aaaand the summer hikaru died!!! kay if youre seeing this then know you posting abt it convinced me <3 i originally got it bcos i was on door duty in a quiet area and didnt wanna spend my time draining battery life on my phone but after i bought it i realised that that was literally a terrible idea so <3 we'll get around to them soon

FINALLLYYYYYY TSHIRTS!!! the top yellow one was my staff t-shirt, it has 'staff' on the back i was wearing it all weekend and yippee i love it.... emotional bond.... and if this is a safe space can i just say. if kaito was a woman? would. next up FAYE FUCKIN VALENTINEEEE!!! do u remember that post i made going thru all the sellers that were gonna b at the con that started like 'i hate shounen fans. name a woman'? well this is the seller i was talking about but all was forgiven in the name of FAYE ! GODDAMN ! VALENTINE ! ugh i love you girlie. and the last t-shirt was given out free to staff after the closing ceremony!! it was the tenth anniversary of kaizokucon so we got this awesomes design yay.... wore it to classes today hoping somebody would comment on it and nobody did 😌and in the middle i got CLOW CARRRDS BITCHES!!!!!! i saw them and immediately all thought left my fucking brain. i needed them. so important. the seller also recognised the axel in my fanny pack yippee!!!! a few people recognised him over the weekend actually and i was always like yes!! the him

anyway. yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! con con con con con :)

#id just in alt text bcos my rambling p functionally describes it

[ottoslab]

hiii you said you wanted to get asks about psychonauts so I hope this is good ^^

I really like all your adult designs for the whispering rock campers & I like how Elka and Vernon are both in the “I can’t question my identity rn I’m fuckin stressed” (especially Vernon, love that silly guy)

And I’m getting that your Vernon is the type to try to absorb himself in his work and cut social situations out & since he’s older, he’s less talkative (probably, he realised that people didn’t ever want to listen to him talk due to his habit of rambling and not getting to the point of what he wanted to say. which is sad ).

But then I also have to wonder… is he still a dog owner? Or does he mourn his youthful days when he was able to walk his dog around the block for a seemingly infinite stretch of time…nothing in their way but the various manholes and gophers…truly, the pressing questions…

Anon im giving you a gold star for this ask. You’re the only one who’s noticed the vibe I was going for with Vernon! At least as specifically as this! I was definitely trying to basically answer the question “What happens when a kid who’s constantly being told he’s annoying and no one wants to listen to him finally starts registering what he’s being told.” Because. The answer is that he’ll probably reach a point where he just stops talking.

A few people who have noticed his mental connections in my design interpret it as him being skilled with mental connection now that he’s older! Which is really sweet! But also . Kind of the complete opposite of what’s actually going on with him. He’s naturally very talkative, of course, but once he resigned himself to just sort of shutting up because no one wants to hear his stories, all his thoughts and ideas weren’t able to stick in his head and they often start manifesting outside of his head as a result! Gets kind of muddled for him sometimes, having them all out in the open like that.

It’s also why he’s a True Psychic Tales illustrator, not a writer. He’s resigned himself to just being the translator for other people’s stories than thinking of writing his own. And, yeah, absolutely throwing himself into work a lot more since he doesn’t feel like he can contribute well to any sort of social situation.

I think he’d like to get a dog, but with the whole “throwing himself into his work” thing, I don’t think he has the time for a dog anymore. Something tells me Lady was pretty old when he was young (idk why, Lady is just an old dog name to me) and he just never really got around to getting his own. Maybe someday!

#Psychonauts #agent aquato and co au #vernon tripe #asks :0] #thank u for this ask ive been waiting to be able to put my ideas for vernon into words for a hot minute now :]

[thefuseoftemptation]

THE GRADUATE ||

EDDIE MUNSON X GN!READER

(GENDER AND RACE NOT SPECIFIED OR MENTIONED)

SUMMARY: Eddie finally gets to get on stage to receive his diploma and flip the bird to Higgins—that and run the hell out of there with you of course.

A/N: It’s what he deserved. Just something short once more—sorry, I’m in a little rut so I can’t really get much out.

WARNING(S): none? just cussing.

There stood to the side of the stage in line behind the other students, was Eddie. Listening expectantly for his name to be called, as he rocked back and forth. He turned his head—trying to see if he could see either you or his Uncle—and could only grin when his eyes found you both in the crowd.

It seemed to only get wider the further his eyes went, as he looked to the row where you guys were seated. The lot was there—Mike, Lucas, Max, Dustin, Steve Harrington, even the Byer’s and Hopper, who had just got back.

It was his year.

Lined up for graduation after fuckin years in that hole of a school. He never thought he’d get to see the day yet there he was. Not only that but he was getting the hell out of that town—and with you by his side—it made it all the more worth it. 

Upon hearing his name, Eddie quickly hopped up the steps, took the diploma, then looked at the camera and grinned. And just like he stated at the beginning of the year, when he was in the cafeteria—he looked Higgins dead in the eye and flipped him the bird before he could turn heel to leave. 

It had earned quite a few gasps from the teachers there as well as some of the students who were in line and the crowd. Higgin’s mouth was parted as he watched the, now graduate senior, hop down the steps and make his way towards the lot of you guys, not even bothered to go back to his designated seat for the rest of the event. 

You guys had pulled him into a group hug and congratulated him. Once you were all done, his Uncle, Wayne, was quick to pull him back into one. Wrapping his arms ‘round his nephew, who was honestly like a son to him, and tucking his head into the crook of Eddie’s neck. When they pulled back, Wayne cupped Eddie’s cheek, giving it a gentle pat before he leaned to press his lips to the top of his head, he then mumbled out words that had Eddie holding back tears—

“S’ proud of you, son. I knew you could do it.”

Eddie looked at his Uncle through the tears and lashes, and nodded. Mumbling out a ‘thank you’ before he hugged him once more. But it wasn’t just a ‘thank you’ for saying that—it was a ‘thank you’ for everything. 

For every time when he struggled with assignments, Wayne was there hovering over his shoulder for hours until it got finished, even though he had just gotten back from a shift and was tired—he made the time to be there for him. For every time when Wayne left the leftovers for him, knowing that he would get hungry and since he couldn’t cook—Wayne would give them to him instead of taking them to work like he had thought he would from the night before. For every time Wayne put up with all the metal tapes he popped in, even if it wasn’t necessarily his taste but still. But most of all, it was a ‘thank you’ for just being there and never giving up on him.

Never.

Eddie pulled back and cleared his throat, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, and then went to greet the rest of you guys. Each of you, rustling his untamed curls and nudging him in a teasing manner. Harrington commenting on how it was ‘bout fuckin time.’

When Eddie got to you, he grinned wide—quickly pulling you into a hug. He brought his hand up to cup the back of your head, pressing his lips to the side just above your ear before he voiced hushly,

“Let’s get the hell out of here.” 

. . .

It had been still in there ever since you guys left, the van jostling every so often when there was a turn or curve to be made. Eddie had one hand on the wheel, and the other held tight in yours. You looked to the side mirror, remembering how just minutes before, you were met with the group in the street waving goodbye as you guys drove off. 

You were brought from your thoughts when you felt a peck to the back of your hand. You looked at Eddie, seeing him already staring at you. “This is our year. I can feel it.” He grinned, you nod fondly at him, looking out the window as you see the sign.

Now leaving Hawkins.

You turned to Eddie once more and smiled, “86, baby…”

.

.

.

A/N: feedback and reblogs appreciated.

TAG(S): @pitiful-anonymous-vampire @jessicainhell

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson hcs #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction #strangers things #stranger things 4 #vol.2

[niftukkun]

for the fourth and final week of @/shepscapade 's hermitcraft character design event, i offer an outfit swap between two blonde british minecraft men!

ok so im actually gonna take the opportunity to talk about how i generally design characters but especially mcyt characters. ill get to why grian and philzas designs are the way the are later but i wanna talk about how i design mcyt characters for a hot second. to start with i generally have two big rules when it comes to base character designs! they arent hard rules but i find them generally helpful when designing, again, base designs (so special one off style designs like the ones from this design challenge dont really count).

(1) is one i feel a lot of artists know, especially those in animation and comics - its KISS! aka 'keep it simple, stupid'. easily memorable and memorisable designs are good! more details can be good, especially for rendered pieces, but i find that designs i can easily remember and doodle from memory are the ones that stick and therefore become the base of other designs. the Silhouette Rule is also a good thumb rule, though i tend to be more loose with it - have your characters have one or more. identifiable? bits?? like, yknow, if your characters swap clothes with another what bits tell you this character is this character yknow? like with grian i have the two feather anime hair bits (and dave strider style hair) + four wings and a unique tail! and with philza i gave him antler horn things (because why not its unique ish) and, funnily enough since i dont use facial hair in my designs often his facial hair became a bit of an identifier too! my original character ambrosia has a signature bunny mask, big fwuffy coat, unique hair etc etc things like that!

the (2)nd mcyt design rule i have is literally a personal preference thing - No Humans. again its a personal preference but i. i cant!! theyre not real WHy Do They Have To Be Human!!! they dont!!!!! therefore they are not human. every mcyt if i can get away with it and find a good way to make them Not Human even if its like a simple tail or horns or what have you I Will Make Them Not Human. if they are human (tommy) then it means its like a cool story thing (tommys human) or its temporary until i find a better design (not for tommy) or for the case of Tommy Fuckin Innit idk his Vibes are Too Strong he Cant Not Be Human I DOnt KNow WHY. every character is lowkey on a scale of how many nonhuman features they have - grian with ear wings, four wings + tail, and funky birb legs and occasionally bird hands is on one end of that scale, and funnily enough philza - who by all means is human if not for the antlers (he can take his wings off) is on the other side of that scale. most designs i have are between those, notable exceptions doc who has four legs and a nonhuman face and Fuckin Innit.

now to actual design notes on the characters i drew - first up is grian! he has three sets of wings including his ears. its a personal headcanon that he gains a set of wings for every season of hermitcraft he was in, not including the one hes on now. so he has chicken ear wings (s6, poultry man) parrot wings (s7, pesky bird) and barn owl wings (s8, moon = owl). when the season ends im gonna find a bird thats sufficiently eldritch because with how the season has been going (rocks, entity, rift) it seems fitting. i generally give him glasses because he has them irl and also it fits - though i do tend to forget them because its uncommon in other grian designs and not actually on his mc skin. the tail i originally had as a more,, aquatic one? not that its not one now but like it had the mermaid tail end before. i didnt really like it! it looked cool but i felt like it didnt fit so i looked up more tail fins and chose one that looks vaguely like an axolotls but without the top fin part? if that makes sense. and it fit better and looks better so im proud of it but as is the nature of designs it may change at a later date

for philza i didnt really do anything special. kimono top with a looser bottom cause philza explores a lot, baggy pants and mostly human everything because it surprisingly fits? idk i feel like most phil designs i see lean more on the immortal angel of death thing he has but i feel like its more fitting if hes Just A Guy but hes tenacious enough that he Gains the nonhuman parts. the wings especially - a lot of people add those in by default but actually i feel like its more fitting if he only gets wings when he has an elytra! so on q/smp for example he doesnt have wings (even if he said theyre clipped that one time im a philza has no default wings truther he gets those by elytra and hes so good at them through practice you cannot change my mind). also in addition to the wings the elytra also gives him the coat poncho thing that i drew on grian because why not. also hardcore heart necklace!! hell yeah.

#gamble the queue #art #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #drawing #fan art #fanart #hermitcraft #grian hermitcraft #philza fanart #ph1lza #outfit swap #shepshermitdesign23 #quick and easy drawins because Busy. i think they turned out great but i feel like theyre also somewhat unpolished and thats fine and valid

[saltypiss]

Dark Souls offered most of itself up front, but still had you wanting to find more, because it inspired within you something you care about and want to see continued. There's a lot of classes and weapon types, ya pick up rocks for upgrades, find a merchant and some cool shortcuts. Cool items and just alot of things that make ya stop and consider, and want to see fleshed out more. And the further you go, the more it fleshes out, and the more difficulty there is. It starts off hard, ish, but teaches you it's mechanics through intuitive design and making things obvious, while leaving some thing obscured for you to figure out, but those mechanics were never completely hidden or unspoken in ways that will fuck you over later.

it also inspired you to learn the mechanics and respect/trust the developer's intent and design. Because it Earns that trust. The tutorial area may be shit but you're lying if you said it didn't make you feel confident in the design of the game. That's it's purpose. To make you Trust the Design and Trust there's a Real Intention behind the choices made in development.

Bloodborne offers absolutely fucking nothing. Absolutely nothing of itself. It doesn't inspire trust or confidence, it goes out of it's way to make you disgusted you're wasting your fucking time. It throws a big enemy that I managed to beat with my bare hands, but nobody new would stand a fuckin' chance towards, which teaches the player the worst fucking everything you cans.

For one thing, there aren't any enemies necessarily to avoid. They're all badly designed and you will take damage no matter who where or what and why. You Will Take Damage. This is a Damage-Trading game at it's Heart and it will FIGHT you to remain that way. Except you have basically 3 hits before death. All enemies take more hits than necessary but take full chunks off your health. You have Only One Way to Interact. If it's not the useless bombs, then all you can do is spam the attack button because if you STOP AT ALL they immediately aren't stunned and attack instantly. Heavy attacks take Way the fuck too long, enemies attack within mere frames of speed. They removed backstabs, but added a broken mechanic where if you do a heavy attack from behind, it stuns them and then you can backstab them. Except it rarely works? Ever? It's completely broken? Much like poise! Every enemy has 0 poise but that's because none of them can be stunned, except small enemies who, the second you miss or stop attacking, you Will get hit because you can't possibly dodge out of attacks fast enough. I-Frames are practically non-existent if they even programmed any at all.

Don't get me started on the attack patterns because my god they're completely fucking random. Again. You know, fromsoft, it's okay to be able to Eventually Read the enemy's attacks, right? Like. It's not okay to make Undodgeable attacks in the first place, but having them look the same as every other fast as shit attack? Maybe chill the fuck out and have fun???? Maybe this advertising shit doesn't translate to good gameplay just because it looks Epic and Cool in videos and streams?

Oh my god I really need to stress that you do No Fucking Damage Whatso-ever but you fucking DIE after 2-3 hits. It's abysmal. This makes Every Encounter the Exact Same. R1. Dodge backwards. Wait for random attack pattern to potentially not have a random 5th or 12th attack at the end, Run because you have to be as far away as possible, do an attack and hope it hits, if you don't, you get hit, dodge away.

or to simplify: Run, Attack, Dodge, Wait. Run. Attack. Dodge. Wait.

Every.

Fucking.

Encounter.

Every god damn one.

Your pistol does 11 damage.

Every enemy has nearly or more than 1k.

Play

Test

Your

Product

Have

Fun

With

Your

Game

This is not fun. This is not fun game at fucking all.,

Hit, dodge backwards, hope to god you don't attack to soon or you'll RUN STRAIGHT INTO THE ENEMY TO DO A FUCKING REGARDED ATTACK. Congrats on the fucking utter lack of playtesting to have this in your fucking game still. Jesus christ. Back-stepping is completely useless in every game, but they keep putting it in there! And they added an attack to it aswell! And they REPLACED THE DODGEROLL BACKWARDS WITH IT! SO NOW YOU ALWAYS DO THE SPECIAL ATTACK THAT JUST GETS YOU KILLED BY WHIFFING AND THEN PUTTING YOU BACK INTO THE SPHERE HITBOX SURROUNDING THE ENEMY.

And you have less than a SECOND to put ONE attack in, if you put 2 in, you're ALWAYS getting hit. It's not fun. It's not fun at all to fucking put TACKS into a GOD to KILL IT. It's fucking BORING. I'm not fucking Peter Pan going for tiny shanks in the shower you fucking idiots. I'm a hunter! A fucking warrior! Lemme hit them at least GOD DAMN TWICE! WHY! WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO 28/28000 DAMAGE TO A BOSS! SLOWLY!

At the LEAST get rid of the FUCKING Estus flask cap. If you're NOT going to playtest your fucking game, at the least RELY ON POOR DESIGN TO GET THE PLAYER THROUGH. At the least I could say "Okay they planned the boss around the infinite health potion mechanic, very poor" instead of "GOD THEY DIDN'T FUCKING PLAYTEST THIS SHIT ONCE!"

Mother fuckers over-HYPED this garbage. Go play fuckin' Dark Souls! The first one! The ONLY good god damned souls game! How is it possible I started with 3 & 2, Elden Ring, but Dark Souls, in 2022 a game from 2011, THE LAST one I played, still, Still, is better than anything Fromsoft has put out since. How do you Regress further and further?

They made the fuckin' BLUEPRINT DUDE! IT'S RIGHT THERE!!!! JUST... FUCKING PLAY IT! PLAY IT LIKE YOU SHOULD'VE YOUR FUCKIN' PRODUCTS BEFORE RELEASE! HAVE FUN WITH YOUR GOD DAMN GAME! SHIT!

#bloodborne

[lu-dao-writes]

❝ [𝐌𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐱 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫] ❞

【𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔(𝓈)】: Adam/ Aniosuke himself although he’s mentioned only briefly, talk of Kaoru getting sold off, briefly edited and, possibly bad grammar.

【𝒜/𝒩】: Another piece done!🥺😍 I changed some things up, and I hope y’all like it! Reader is gender neutral and black/mixed coded, but anyone can read honestly!

╰┈➤ Like most mer creatures the Aquatic Rescue brought, Kaoru was feisty.

╰┈➤ The team found Kaoru in the hands of Shindo Aniosuke, malnourished and frightened. Aniosuke had planned to sell Kaoru off to the highest bidder, but thankfully that was stopped just in time and Aniosuke went to jail. (Bitch ass-)

╰┈➤ Kaoru fought every chance he got when he arrived, refusing anyone to touch him. It got dangerous to the point he had to be sedated.

╰┈➤ When you got assigned to take care of him you were thrilled, always happy to take care of your patients.

╰┈➤Kaoru on the other hand… Fussy. Upsety.

╰┈➤ He’s petty asf so he didn’t speak to you much in the beginning, or just spoke in short sentences. Hell, you probably got splashed too.

╰┈➤ Kaoru also was hardheaded as fuck and would camp in the water, so sometimes there had to be a whole ordeal about getting him out to check up on him.

╰┈➤ Kaoru also REFUSED to let anyone go near his seal companion, Carla. Mf was ready to be on someone’s obituary.

╰┈➤ But luckily it doesn’t last long! It takes a lot of patience, but the end result is sweet as you gain his trust (and soon you fuckin’ soo🤪).

╰┈➤ You get to learn about him as a person, learning his likes, dislikes, his family and friends… You can tell he misses them very much and it makes you more determined to help him.

╰┈➤ You enjoy all the stories he shares, especially all the nonsense he got up to with his childhood bestie, Kojiro.

╰┈➤ Cherry enjoys your care and it made his heart swoon when you helped him deal with anxiety besides relying on Carla all the time.

╰┈➤ Now, this man is canonically clingy, so imagine how he’ll act when you’re late or busy with another person. Fussy. Fussy as hell.

The second you arrive into Kaoru’s designated area you’re greeted with the pink mermaid sitting on his sunning rock, fair and lightly scaled arms crossed over his chest, a frown over his pretty face.

“And where were you? You said you’d be here at 12!”

“Sorry, Kaoru, but I got held up by another mer that I’m also taking care of.”

At your words he frowns harder and turns a bit. “I thought you were strictly taking care of me…,” he pouts.

You snort softly, rolling your eyes as you come closer. “Sorry, Blossom, but you gotta share.”

“Hmph!”

╰┈➤ Kaoru really enjoys when you pamper him a bit. Like combing his hair, trimming his claws, or helping him pick out his old scales, he gets real soft.

╰┈➤ Once completely warmed up to you he’ll get playful with you, so expect him to pull you into the water and or get splashed at. But he won’t do it often and or if you tell him not to, he doesn’t want to ruin your hair (especially if you tell him you just got it do or it took a long time to do).

╰┈➤ Cherry eventually starts gifting you things he finds in the ocean once he’s allowed to branch out from his area. He’ll gift you pristine sand dollars, colorful shells, probably some lost jewelry, and anything else of value. This is of course when the feeling kicks/ed in.

╰┈➤ To show his love for you, he makes your a pearl necklace and the middle pearl is a beautiful black pearl. He wanted an all black pearl necklace but finding those were rare, so he’s just glad to have just one.

╰┈➤ Once he’s able to leave the rescue center, Cherry comes to your place often while also roaming the ocean again. (I imagine you have like a beach hut house(?) and like there’s a way where Kaoru can pop into the house cause there’s like a hole in the living room.)

╰┈➤ Sometimes it sucks that you two can’t do other things together (like walk around town or the beach, go to a restaurant together, etc), but you still love and cherish him and feel lucky he came into your life.

╰┈➤ I’m positive you met his family and friends, and where you sweating bullets? Up to you, lmao 🤣. But they all love you and Kojiro teased Kaoru endlessly.

╰┈➤ Oh! Y’all definitely have kissed underwater a bunch because we love soft shit🥰.

#𝐒𝐤𝟖♾️༝༚༝༚ #kaoru sakurayashiki x reader #mermay #mermay 2022 #cherry blossom x reader #shindo ainosuke #kojiro nanjo #mer cherry/kaoru #ofblckwriters #black reader insert #black reader #mixed reader #black y/n #x black reader

[fullmoonraven]

Meet Sahlux! A Legend Of Spyro oc originally spawned by re-playing Dawn Of The Dragon and further fueled by reading DragonOfIceAndFire 's awesome Destiny Intertwined comic!! As such, a lot of their design 'rules' and story elements are heavily influenced and inspired by his stuff, so go check it out!! Buncha story for them under the cut!- like, So Fuckin Much. Lemme know what y’all think!

   Sahlux was a Bit of an 'oopsie' egg; As in, a series of mishaps resulted in their biological parents taking home a completely different egg, while they were left unclaimed at the Nursery.    No one knew who their parents were, and thus didn't know what element they could've had- the coloring on their shell hinted at Earth, but the lightning-like jagged line in the top diamond marking suggested Electric. One couldn't be sure until the hatchling inside grew old enough to manifest it.    They were raised entirely by the Nursery's workers, who loved them about as much as a teacher could love a student they've had for several years. While their caregivers were perfectly kind, other young dragons were... less so. Sahlux, according to a few of their peers' own observations, was "too soft" and "too weak" to be an Earth dragon, and yet they were somehow equally "too slow" and "too dumb" to be an Electric dragon.    When they manifested their Element, for a whopping month they were like a small celebrity; Somehow, they had managed to manifest both Earth And Electricity- no dragon has ever manifested such different elements before. Water dragons may be able to heat or freeze their breath, but both can be explained by water being a derivation of Ice and Fire in the first place.   Soon, however, the glamor wore off, and the taunts just got worse.    Despite being a "wonder", Sahlux's magic was.... weak at best. Their lightning could barely cover their own scales, let alone zap someone else, and their earth was only useful for flattening the stone under their paws. A failure of an Earth And Electric dragon.    While the bullies were few, they were loud, and as such Sahlux kept almost entirely to themself, preferring to borrow plant identification books from libraries and see how many they could find in the public gardens. It was on one such excursion that they met the talk of the town- if not the talk of all dragonkind; The purple protégé himself, Malefor.    Well... 'met' is a strong way to put it. It's more along the lines of him appearing, asking what they're doing, and them freaking out, making an excuse, and running away. As it turns out, socially stunted outcasts don't particularly like when near-worshipped strangers approach them out of nowhere.    Unfortunately for Sahlux, they had already caught his curiosity, and he wasn't going to leave them alone until it was satiated.    Several awkward meetings later, things settled down, and they began to get to know eachother as Sahlux and Malefor, rather than as the Failure and The Purple Dragon. For a while, things were great, and had settled into normal, two young dragons who, for as long as they were together, could ignore the City's fixation on your worth only being as high as your magic could take you.    Then Sahlux discovered the true extent of their magic.    They'd only been playing around- wanted to see if they could use their sparks to bake an earth sculpture in place, like clay- but a schoolmate had snuck up behind them and startled them. Rather than rocks flying, or lightning zapping, bright yellow crystals burst out of the ground around them, pointed outwards.    Sahlux could somehow grow crystals.    Despite them begging their schoolmate to not say anything, word got out that they could create Crystals, a dragon's life force, out of nothing. And with some experimentation upon request of their Teacher, it was found that the crystals they created worked just as well as naturally sourced ones; Though, to create any sort of inherently magical crystal, for Health or Mana, they'd drain their own energy to do so. Any non-magic crystal, such as diamond or the topaz they had made when startled, required significantly less.    Once again, Sahlux became a celebrity, yet this time it wasn't going away. And they hated it. No one cared before they could grow crystals, no one but Malefor.    At the very least, now he and they could hang out without Sahlux getting dirty looks.    Years pass, they both grow up, with Sahlux being brought up to an almost healer or wiseman role in the community, while Malefor is trained for leadership. Despite this, both are still rather isolated and still prefer eachother's company over others'.    However, at one point Malefor comes to them as the sun sets, and confesses that he's running away. He explains it as being "suffocating"; He just wants to find his own way, his own path, without the Council's overbearing expectations and rules. Sahlux can understand that- the nearby Ape clans are getting more and more adventurous, and thus Sahlux is being pushed to create more and more magical crystals (by this point they've done it so many times that a few hardly drain them, but having to make dozens upon dozens would make anyone exausted). So, they slip him a few, and say nothing as he slips away in the night.    They say nothing about it when the Council asks, and they continue to say nothing even as he visits "when the winds guide his way back to their doorstep".    Things slowly get worse, however, as the Ape clans seem to be getting stronger and stronger by the day, organizing into larger forces and somehow knowing weak spots in several smaller dragon fortresses; As such, the dragons begin gearing up more and more for a full-out war, more people need to be healed and Sahlux is almost constantly working to make more crystals, natural veins of them not replenishing quickly enough to keep up with demand.    Malefor, whenever he stops by, helps where he can, organizing things and tidying up for them so they can get some rest; When he leaves, it's with a promise that he'll stay safe and will see if he can get any information on the Apes' forces for them to then feed to the Council and Generals.    Curiously, when he leaves, their Crystal stores are smaller than they usually are, but it's not uncommon for them to misremember things these days, with how they're starting to blur together.    Sooner than anyone liked, the Apes congealed into one Army and it exploded into a full war. Sahlux was constantly busy, making crystal after crystal and healing the injured- even worse, some dragons were beginning to defect to the other side, and there's word of a traitor in their midst; The Apes are getting information they shouldn't have any way of knowing, Info that only the highest ranking officers and the elders should have access to.    Now more than ever, people are clamoring for Malefor to come back, to swoop in from wherever he's disappeared to and help, to save the day as every past purple dragon has done. But he doesn't. He still visits Sahlux, still feeds them info that they then pass off as being from an informant of their own, but he never reveals himself to the Council or the public.    One night, Sahlux makes their way into the Nursery, doing one last nightly check; Eggs and hatchlings are fragile, and a sickness has began to sweep through the city, thus they often check to make sure everything is all as it should be.    There, they find several Ape soldiers, stealing eggs from their nests and hatchlings from their cradles.    Sahlux has never been a fighter, but no living thing can survive being impaled with diamond and then electrified from the inside out.    They call in guards and have them sweep the area, do checks to ensure that no more Apes are around and that no young is left unaccounted for. Once the all clear is given, the Nursery is moved to a completely different and hidden area of the City; No one knows what the Apes were going to do with the nearly-stolen young, and no one wants to find out.    A few days later, Malefor visits, and notes that they're even more tired than before; He makes small talk with them while helping, and at one point they mention that the Apes are getting more and more bold with their attacks, leaving more wounded. He snorts from his place counting crystals into sacks, and remarks that yeah, he can't believe they'd go after the young, and how savage and unhinged they must be for going after eggs and newborns.    Sahlux stills, paws still hovering over the mana crystal they'd been growing, and slowly turn to him.    They never mentioned the Nursery.    They never mentioned the Attack.    Only the Council and the guards who had been there should know about the Attack.    Needless to say, they confront him about how he knew, and at first he tried saying he'd heard it from a passing patrol while he was on the road (no normal soldier would know), then that one of the patrol members must've been a general (not even the generals know, only the Council members), then that he heard it from a Council member (the Council never left the city, and if he'd seen one they would've seen him, and they'd never shut up about it.)    All through his babbling, they're stalking closer and closer, and he's backing up more and more, backing his way out of their cottage before he could get cornered. They lunge, and he dodges, but their claws still catch on his bag and rip it open, causing crystals of all colors and sizes to spill out. All magical, and all of them, stolen.    At that point, they explode, cursing him out and attacking him outright, screaming at him for daring to play nice and pretend to be their friend when he's just been using them, stealing from them and laughing at them once their back is turned for daring to think they could ever deserve kindness-    They have no patience for his desperate pleas, refusing to listen to more lies even as he begs and swears that it wasn't like that, that he really did care about them.    Malefor may be the purple dragon of legend, but even he cannot fight against the forest of dark, life-sapping crystals that spring out around him. With one last desperate glance at Sahlux, he flees.    From there, it becomes obvious that they are on opposing sides.    They tell the Council of his defection, of how he's been visiting and siphoning information from them, and they are moved to a different, more secure location, unsure of how he'd react now that he no longer has to play nice. Considering how their lovely little cottage was torn apart in search of,,,, something not even a few weeks after their move, they think they made the right choice.    As the war rages on, Malefor steps into the role of the Dark Forces' king and leader, sending many of the dragon cities into despair as they realise their savior has become their doom.    Even as Sahlux helps with the war efforts, it seems like he isn't done with them, to the point that they're having to change locations quite often to get him to leave them alone- how he keeps getting their address, they don't know, but the letters he leaves are getting more and more demented, seemingly trying to beg for forgiveness, denounce the Council as conniving and controlling madmen, and even attempting to sway them to the other side all at once.    Malefor, for all he doesn't show it, genuinely does care for them, and he does believe he's doing good- But madness comes when you least expect it, and by the time you realise it's ensnared you, you've committed atrocities beyond forgiveness.    Such as setting up an elaborate trap to kidnap your childhood friend and try to force them over onto your side via a mix of isolative torture and mind control-    The kidnapping, of course, backfires horribly. Rather than endearing him to them, it further grows the gap between the two. With every visit to their cell, they say less and less to him, but the few words they do speak- well. Malefor tells himself that they don't mean it, that it's that cursed Council's mindtricks making them say such horrible things.      Almost a month after their capture, the fortress Sahlux was imprisoned in becomes overrun with dark crystals overnight, killing every Ape inside and setting Sahlux free. They quickly make a run for it, thanking the stars that no general had been in the Fortress (they weren't sure if they would've been able to escape, then), before fleeing into the night, barely having enough energy to get to the nearest dragon base before crash landing a few feet from the walls and not even having the strength to hold their head upright as soldiers swarm them.    From there, they're escorted to Summergate, a city a small ways away from the Dragon Temple, and were put into the medbay to heal and recover.    But, they just,,,, don't. Their injuries heal just fine, but the fatigue never leaves, and they can hardly flap their wings strong enough to fly around the city, let alone long distances.    Of course, it would probably help them recover if they could stop making hundreds of crystals a week, but in the month or so they were kidnapped or out of commission, the storage supply had almost completely run out.    Eventually, Summergate itself comes under siege by Malefor's forces, presumably looking for them, and Sahlux doesn't have the strength nor the will to evacuate with the civilians.    While the guards and soldiers are escorting the civilians to safety, Sahlux carefully slips away, down into the cave systems beneath the city, descending as far down as the caves will allow and then using what little earth magic they have to dig farther. Soon, the caves begin to warm and lose the chill the higher tunnels had, and as their tunnel opens into an magma pool cavern, they build themself a nest of crystal, so very similar to the one they'd been placed in as a hatchling.    Curling up in it's gentle embrace, cradled by the stones and warmed by the magma, they sleep soundly for the first time in years, unaware of the Apes tearing buildings apart in search of them and unaware of the crystal creeping up around them, encasing their body and filling the cavern with sharp spikes. -=-    No one knows what becomes of Sahlux, the Great Healer. Their whereabouts unknown, they fade into legend.    Some say they fell in the Summergate siege, fighting valiantly on the front lines, or even slain in cold blood, 'wingless' and unable to flee.    Others say they gave their life to create the crystal that would later become Malefor's prison, to boost the growth of natural crystal deposits.    No one knows what happened to them.    At least... not until a millennia later. A young purple dragon with a firefly companion flees a collapsing reality, prioritizing the unconscious black dragon on his back even as the prison behind him shatters and frees its only captive.    Thousands of miles away, buried deep within the earth in a long-cooled magma deposit, a large orb of crystal begins to glow, and crack, as a tiny white wind dragon watches in panic and awe.

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