#Yeah it's more like an unpacking

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

#DONT COMMENT ON THE BACKGROUND I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW #anyway this is day 1. they take a bus. the bakugo household has fishing gear so ´deku is wearing bakugo's onesoe (?) and bakugo is wearing #his dad's. and notices he has grown :') #anyway they take a BUS and don't feel like doing this at all it's awkward for so many reason #also trying to relax after everything is neurologically just really hard they might be hyperivgilant dik #and there's so much they never got to unpack bnut they have to and they have to start somewhere and with someone #deku makes that flower crown while bakugo preps everything and they both look at it and are thrown back into their childhood 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ #and at first they just sit and wait for the bavarian fish to bite (rody should make a cameo tbh) but then bakugo breaks the iceeee. #and he starts with their moms because their moms have been such a stubbron connection between these two :') #and deku answers with the usual 'good :) how's your mom :)?' and to everyone's surprise he actually opens up #and tells deku about his mom's insomnia because she watched her son die (that shit was live streamed tpo 10 bnha tweets btw) #idk i love to think of their moms being a very easy subject to connect through i think it's easier for them that way to be more vulnerablei #and then some fish biteeeeeeeeeeee #but like 3 small ones so they have to gather berries and mushrooms and make stew (dw there's an aldi this is bavaria after all) #but yeah day 1 is a bit weird like it's just them in the woods with no distractions #which is so different from whatever went on during their 1st year of high school #don't read this i will throw up i just need this somewhere this is my public scrapbook #bnha #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #the flower crown on their knees makes this a bit homosexual but fishing is always homosexual im not fighting against that #au: #fishing

[rainbowresurrection]

What I love about K/S is that it doesn't crumble under scrutiny. It just gets gayer

#I went through a re-study of it during pride month #i had forgotten just how much was there to unpack #six+ months later I am still unpacking #im noticing MORE content than i did the FIRST time I did this like. nine years ago. #yeah #spirk #k/s #the premise #star trek

[intotheelliwoods]

Seeming as I dont think that poll is swaying anytime soon- keychains have been ordered! And if you can afford the shipping, I can ship outside the USA! :)

#2al merch #uh #tags #the back is a dif design btw #same pose just different angle so theres no “wrong arm missing” situation #ill send actual photos when they arrive #which should be in no more than 20 days #and yeah just 30 will be up for sale #all bundled with the stickers and buttons #friends also have first dibs- #theres like. 15 of my friends interested- #I cant tell how fast these are going to sell baha #this will def be a real fun experience though #tbh ive always wanted to sell shit off etsy #and my that I mean tenderly pack everything into a little bag #handwrite a thank you note #give the poptart keychains all a little kiss on the forehead before sending them off #and also see peoples unpacking pics :)

[dovalore]

ibispaint test with little ghost

#hollow knight #little ghost #hi tumblr friends as a longtime user of medibang i actually prefer this app #enjoy pieces where their shadow is different from their physical body #you know as lord of the shade and all i think they deserve a cool shadow #i'm starting to realise now that even though this style made with 'simpler' means it's still... worthy? #like yeah sure it's made on a phone but i still put my effort into it #it's only ever an issue when it comes to my stuff specifically #my realisation came when i exited the canvas and saw the tracked time lol #so sleepy... i'm going to bed gnite tumblr friends #i will unpack my thoughts when i'm more awake

[thesherrinfordfacility]

the more that ive thought about it (it of course being the argument clip), the more that i need to get something off my chest and defend aziraphale - not necessarily against anyone, not saying anyone is attacking him, but whilst crowley is my special apple crimble crumble boy, aziraphale is the goodest lil dude and there is nothing i wouldn't do for that messy man-

i think what a lot people forget about aziraphale is that he is so fucking clever, he is arguably more intelligent than crowley, but has the irksome, painful dichotomy of being kind. what kinda upset me in the clip is that crowley almost addresses aziraphale as if he's stupid, when he's anything but. aziraphale is fully aware that gabriel, michael, uriel etc are all wankers, he's not oblivious to it, but aziraphale is an unfailingly empathetic and compassionate angel, and will try to always see the best in people.

the fandom sometimes mistakes this for naivety or even ignorance, and it's not - aziraphale is not naive, he knows that these angels are shits and treat him poorly, but aziraphale has a pretty strong view on what an angel should be, what they should embody, and even though he knows deep down these other angels don't really follow the same blueprint, he hopes and he tries to remain optimistic and see the best in them. he hopes to be forgiven for his trespasses just as he forgives those who trespass against him✨

and so by the end of s1 i think he really does give up on being an angel ("just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" got the most satisfied, bashful grin on him we've ever seen) and instead is just a good person. and i think crowley fails to realise or accept this - not bc he's stupid either, but i think he sometimes really underestimates aziraphale and possibly because he thinks (possibly due to his own trauma- the apocalypse as well as the Fall) that god will never love a being that isn't good and godly at the same time. he can't accept that that the two things, being good and being godly, are entirely different concepts, and that in aziraphale the two must go hand in hand.

aziraphale understands the difference, and knows that he can still be loved by god even if he doesn't align himself with heaven anymore. so therefore its a real foreign idea, a ludicrous concept, to crowley that aziraphale is still being kind to gabriel, being compassionate, when in his mind this is the angel that wanted to kill them both and is a first class wanker to boot.

but i think that does actually show that, not in any way maliciously or intentionally but likely just as a projection borne out of anger and possibly self-hatred, crowley is thinking appalling little of aziraphale right now. does he really believe that the angel that he slithered up next to on the wall and who not only didn't smite him on sight but also conversed with him and listened to him and sheltered him from the first rain whilst not even bothering to shelter himself is incapable of being kind without being heaven's puppet?

so yes i totally get where crowley is coming from, and whilst it kills me a little inside to think that crowley might consider himself so unworthy of kindness and affection unless it originates from a systematic compulsive side effect of being a Holy Entity, i think he's being grossly unfair to aziraphale in not realising even after 6000 years of knowing him that aziraphale might just simply be a really kind person.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #corr big feelings being discussed here tonight lads #theres a lot more i could say about this theres so much to unpack #and noone is at fault in this but yeah i think bc of the ✨comedy✨ and 🤌angst🤌 value in this scene #aziraphale isnt being given due credit for just wanting to help a lost and lonely person? #like i joked about it but this is NOT gabriel? as far as we can tell atm this is just a person that looks like him??? #aziraphale is the goodest purest person in the world and truly is the only rep on earth that actually seems to embody ✨god✨ #gomens shitpost

[watanabes-cum-dump]

I didn't know you were also a ffxiv fan!! If you have any thoughts on yandere ffxiv characters, I would LOVE to hear them.

Like, zenos is obvious, but I totally have some thoughts on others 👀👀

YES YANDERES YESYESYESYESSSSSSS

Yandere Haurchefant is hopelessly devoted to you. Sure it's not super different from regular Haurchefant who is Down Bad™ for WOL but I think here it becomes more of an obsession. Is he capable of holding you down? No, you're the Warrior of Light for twelve's sake. He couldn't lock you away if he tried. His resolve? Be around you 24/7. And I MEAN 24/7 365 12 months a year. Bro worships the ground you walk on and I really do think he would have joined the Scions if you know... the Vault didn't happen. Having his devotion might be a blessing or a curse, bc he is NOT letting you out of his sight. Attachment issues fr fr. Honestly I don't think he'd do anything super insane. Like yeah he'd kill for you, but he'd do that normally. And he's not doing it just bc he wants to or whatever. If you're ever threatened or god forbid, hurt- someone is going to taste the steel of his blade. Yandere Haurchefant is just regular Haurchefant with a little added insanity and unhinged-ness. Maybe he's extra horny too, bit of a pervert that one.

Now, Yandere Aymeric is giving me many thoughts thanks to this fic called Captivate so though I am a firm subscriber to the idea that literally only Zenos might be able to lock up WOL, I can also make an exception to Aymeric because of this fic. Please read it this changed my feelings for Aymeric. Though, Aymeric locking you up would also require him to have a sadistic streak, which he doesn't really have and this fic itself also feels like an AU where Aymeric actually caved in and became a piece of shit due to his upbringing. However, my personal idea for Yandere Aymeric is that via his political power, he pushes you to be with him. Of course, he only does this if you reject his advances at first. He would 100% find a way to force you in a semi-political marriage with him. Like I said before, no one can hold WOL down, but, he can keep you on a leash. No matter how long, he can always reel you back in if he wants to. I think he would harbor a bit of guilt personally. Like, he knows it's unhealthy, he knows it's hurting you- but he just wants you so damn bad. And he tries to make it up to you with gifts and whatnot, but at the end of the day, your collar, no matter how gilded and comfortable, is still a collar. And the Lord Commander had the leash.

#rlly wanted to do estinien but idk i don't see him like that #personally i think he's a little too emotionally constipated to act on his desires idk #he's so found family i love him <3 #actually in general i wanted to do more characters but haurchefant and aymeric r just constantly on my mind #i mean y'shtola and ysale are too but idk i can't see em like that #maybe bc i can only see a man being so unhinged and borderline cruel to someone he proclaims he loves #but that is a whole other thing to unpack lmao #ffxiv #haurchefant x reader #aymeric x reader #yandere ffxiv #ffxiv x reader #haurchefant greystone #aymeric de borel #haurchefant x wol #aymeric x wol #oh also i literally just started stormblood so yeah #kouryuu answers

[rawliverandgoronspice]

behold: my second least favorite string of words in the entirety of Tears of the Kingdom.

(it's a little less transparent why this time so I'll explain my thoughts under the cut)

So why do I not like this?

In so many words: because if you remove it, the scene still works, but you lose the moral certainty of what is going on.

This single sentence does so much legwork for the entire game (the kind I dislike), to the point where I'm about 60% sure it's the product of a rework that realized how ambiguous Rauru's position was as the Good Rightful King and needed to nervously reassure the players that Ganondorf Is and Always Was the Invader, Actually.

(no matter that it leaves the gerudos in this awkward in-between state of both invaders and victims, while never dwelling in the specifics of their history and their own agency in the entire thing; brushed off as a sin they have to expiate through loyalty to the winners of that particular strife, but without explicitely blaming them either to avoid the implications of what that would have looked like)

If you remove it, not only do you lose a pretty clunky line that detracts from Ganondorf's intimidating presence (who is he even speaking to? who needs to hear this right now?) that honestly speaks for itself when it comes to his experience with warfare, but also you lose any tension and any mystery regarding why he is attacking in the first place.

You also... kind of rob Ganondorf's motivations of their meaning. "Hyrule will bow down before me" leads to asking... why? What does he want? What does he see in those lands? And what little we get with Rauru and then Link during the final fight begs more questions; why do you prefer hardship to peace? Why do you value strength? What leads you to want to rule a land devoid of survivors, become a king without a kingdom? I don't think we ever get satisfactory answers. If you remove this sentence, on the other hand... Subtextually, it becomes pretty clear that his motivations is that he felt threatened by Rauru's power, which is ripe with subtext and questions about whether this is a legitimate reaction, whether his "no survivor" stance is due to a feeling of betrayal when his own people turned against him post the Demon King shenanigans... I'm not saying it would fix the entire game's writing, far from it, but it would already do *so much more*.

(genuinely, I think he could have stayed completely silent during the Molduga Assault, speaking only in the Show of Fealty before going completely nuts after Sonia's murder, and it would have worked MUCH better in terms of characterization but anyway anyway

EDIT: ALSO!!! that way he wouldn't speak hylian to fellow gerudos, which is weird inherently)

Without this line, the core of the tension between the gerudos and Hyrule comes front in his conversation with Rauru; it allows the cause of his hostility to be Rauru's invitations, that he would have taken as a threat, and would have still made him warlike and domineering without making him cartoonishly flat, because, once again, Rauru is not acting in a particularly more legitimate way when Zelda arrives in Ancient Hyrule; and it would have been... fair to point that out. And make for better characterization for Rauru, and Sonia, and Mineru, and everybody. But the priority was for Hyrule to be pictured as unquestionably holy; always legitimate, always truthful, always beautiful, always just.

Also, and this is more of a nitpick but: why would Ganondorf want Hyrule, specifically, to bow down before him also? Was he at war with the rest of the disparate tribes before, and just carried on his ambitions to the very very newly-founded kingdom as they allied under a new banner? (though it seems to be implies the lands were crawling under monsters in a generic sense, and not Ganondorf's attacks in particular) Why would he even consider Hyrule a legitimate entity worth taking over then, if it is so new, born from the will of a powerful rival, founded by what is basically a stranger to these lands? Why would he covet something so young instead of destroying it and just calling the lands Gerudo Lands II or Grooseland or something?

I don't think any of that was even accounted for, because, beyond everything else: to me, this sentence is so clearly and painfully crammed in here to shield Hyrule from any potential blame and immediately characterize Ganondorf as Bad without having to remove any of the causes that could lead one to side-eye Rauru's little pet project as equally questionable.

Beyond the clumsiness, it is cowardly --and, I think, a little damning.

#totk #totk critical #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war... #ganondorf #gerudos #rauru #tl:dr it is cowardly and reveals that nintendo knew about the Implications to some degree #sometimes less is more #really in that case less would have been so much more #it is literally ganondorf's first chronological line #yeah sure it tells you everything about the guy but #it's also such a bold commitment to flatness and self-righteousness that... yeah #and before I hear any “at least Rauru wasn't using force” I mean as far as we know though? #the constructs attack anyone deemed an “invader” on sight one of the things rauru does is to apologize for this #(I reread Rauru's initial dialogue in the Sky Islands and it would have been SO GOOD if any ambiguity would have been allowed) #(like the thing about Constructs mindlessly pursuing their useless tasks forever disquieting him...) #(yeah buddy so true that could uhhh almost be a metaphor for something else regarding purpose and lineage or something wow) #and even if he didn't use force directly the power dynamics and repeated invitations are still undeniably questionnable #like my guy why do you want everybody to kneel down to you what's up with that do we unpack this or #at least ganondorf was like.... born and raised a king (not that it excuses anything but he inherited pre-existing traditions) #so did zelda #she was born in an imperfect system and did whatever she could about it #rauru *crowned himself* #he *made* the system

[utilitycaster]

Wait this is a TV reference I don't know how many people will get but you know the 30 Rock episode where Liz remembers that everyone was horrible to her in high school, and then she goes back to her reunion and it's revealed she assumed everyone hated her, so she was constantly hostile to them even when they were reaching out? Until otherwise proven, I feel that Imogen was like, a toned down version of this (cold and distant rather than actively rude, perhaps) in Gelvaan prior to the Unspecified Incident.

#also if the rest of the party could get the details out that would be nice bc right now it's like. let's unpack this. #critical role #critical role spoilers #imogen temult #but yeah I think imogen like. assumed the worst of everyone around her bc she could read their weird bad thoughts #and most people were totally normal to her and she was like EVERYONE HATES ME I HATE IT #like her story is so much more interesting if she is her own worst enemy! #it's also a fun parallel of imogen like everyone hates me and I did nothing (no one hates you and you were kind of cold) #and laudna everyone hates me and I did nothing (you definitely did a murder is what you did) #(if that is indeed the case)

[rueria]

hortus de escapismo word vomit bc i cant seem to get this event outta my head apparently

i don't know who and how many exactly in the monastery were influenced by arturia, maybe her arts made the non-sarkaz more on-edge towards the sarkaz as a reflection of their hidden frustrations. maybe delfina and fortuna could have resolved things more calmly if it wasn't for her music. if she wasn't there, maybe clement wouldn't have submitted to his despair so soon. or maybe not.

i believe what happened in the monastery wasn't her fault (the root cause here is laterano's status quo, among other things), she "just" accelerated it. what happened would've probably still happened. and it's not like removing one's inhibitions and showing their truest emotions is inherently destructive. the abbot prepared the communion bread, but at the last moment he decided not to bring it to the last mass. i believe that was his true desire.

honestly, what i find curious is executor's single-mindedness in trying to apprehend her. and i do remember that he blames her, saying something like "once again, your actions have led to deaths" (non-verbatim)

idk, i also think her arts are dangerous, but that dangerous that he almost drops everything else the moment he recognizes her cello? and what i find ironic is that, he essentially watched clement kill himself. he tried to dissuade him, yes, but he ultimately respected his choice. is it because he knew, as someone who knows arturia's arts more than anyone else, that *this* was what clement really wanted to do, and he couldn't bring himself to interfere?

what does he really think about arturia and her arts? federico isn't prejudiced the way other sankta are, he just enforces the law to the letter (and for that matter, why *does* he do that? i doubt it's just bc it's his job?). does he view arturia as urgently dangerous because she's a major threat to the law, aka the status quo? if thats the case, isn't it strange that he seems to be the only one who's that dedicated to catching her? mr. oren "preserve laterano's greatness" argiolas was more concerned about protecting laterano-leithanien relations over her. maybe bc he's the only one who understands how powerful her arts are? then, how does he react when he finds out that she's [redacted]? can ZH pls come faster

anyway uh back to arturia, i don't think arturia is evil but i do think she's wrong. wrong in that i personally can't agree with her on principle. i don't think what she wants is bad or evil tbh, or even truly wrong. i just can't agree with it. a person's true emotions and desires aren't all a person should be. inhibitions, while they can be limiting, are also just as much part of a person as their truest emotions. it's like putting a person in a dire and deadly situation and judging them based on their actions in those circumstances, labeling that as their true self. idk, maybe i'm misinterpreting what exactly she wants and how her arts work, or what "true emotions" even are. maybe it's because i try to think what would happen if *i* listened to her music and i feel like i'd probably do things i'd regret.

well, ZH should probably answer a lot of my questions about arturia. but it seems to me that it'd be a long while before the laterano storyline is resolved, especially since it also concerns the sarkaz

#arknights #shut up eri #i should reread exe's profile again #also apparently virtuosa's profile is the longest there has been so far #like even longer than the average oprec #so yeah. lots to unpack in like. 4 months #tho i'm starting to feel like ZH won't answer a lot of my questions #bc if it will #why havent more people been all like “omg guys #massive lore drop!!!!“ #then again #i try to avoid all ZH spoilers if i sense them lmao #here's hoping it'll be like that for the next 4-5 months

[rotzaprachim]

digging my teeth into the really dark fascinating fucked-upness of helnik. they’re fascinating in being a wartime love story about an intentional victim of genocidal violence and an unintentional fuck-around-and-find-out victim of “collateral damage,” both of which are different forms of wartime violence. 

nina is targeted as a grisha, she’s almost killed by the druskelle and fjerda in the books not for being a ravkan spy or agent but simply for being grisha. they will kill her for being grisha. and how will they kill her? they will burn her. and it’s fascinating when she tells matthias in a very justified moment of rage (i mean. they’re looking at the dying burned corpses of her people whom jesper, also a grisha, had to physically shoot) and says i want your family to burn i want them all to be burnt in the way my people were. and matthias says, they already have been. they already burned. and how that changes the entire dynamic between them, everything leading up to that, becuase FUCK. yeah. his whole family has already been burnt. he’s a lone survivor of something in much the same way she is, and his family was burnt not on purpose for being grisha but as a “justified accident,” the casual civilian side-damage of war. and it was her people. unlike the intentional, systemic violence that destroyed her people and left nina a shaken, traumatised survivor of a purposeful genocide, we have matthias as this destroyed survivor of one of those little sorts of accidents that’s swallowed and justified by the shape of the war and what Must Be Done to succeed. (also he serves as like, one of the only times i think it’s really faced that the first army is, you known, a national army that does national-army-during-a-war things.) one does not cancel out the other. 

their relationship is difficult and fucked and that’s why it’s fascinating and has so much potential to explore. it’s so much more complicated than the tiktok “enemies to lovers” trope because they dig right at the base of what it is to be an enemy to someone else. from the ship nina is an almost-lone survivor of the damage his people did. from his village being burnt by inferni matthias is a lone survivor of the damage her people did. from the consequences of war on his people and violent prejudice against her own, nina is raised a child soldier and in many ways reduced to weaponry, something that absolutely is a form of child abuse. from the consequences of war on her people matthias is inducted into a cult and subjected to spiritual abuse. they’ve been hurt by each other’s nations, but also by their own. there’s something so brutal but also tender in the way they knock each other off the orbits they’ve been living in and force them out of the home that is burning. love may make you free, but not without drowning first. 

#nina zenik #matthias helvar #helnik #they're so. they're SO. look i will gilroyfy this there's almost unlimited material #six of crows #symmetry and mirrors and the mirror hurts #but yeah the fact they're both absolutely victims not only of each other country's war crimes BUT THEIR OWN COUNTRIES WAR CRIMES IS LIKE #well that's a lot to unpack. the violence that comes inside and outside the house #they cannot go home! as a consequence of meeting each other they cannot go home #tw genocide #obviously none of this is to let matty off the hook but i think he is a FAR more complex character and his deradicalisation from military #violence is far far more complicated than often given credit too #his backstory especially is. damn. look have your entire family killed by a military apparatus and say that wouldnt' radicalise you too? #i love them for being a fantasy and (sighssss to use this phrase) enemies-to-lovers couple that ISN'T royalty #and that #for all their induction into nationalism hates each other not only along national lines but the violence of lived experiences like #nina may filter her hatred of him and his people through Ravka Good Fjerda Bad but it's also the fact they very much did kill her people #she very much /is/ a survivor of a whole shipload of drowned people #meanwhile matthias may filter his code through Fjerda Good Drusje Very Very Very Bad but like... also they very much did kill his people #it makes their relationship so much messier #but yeah they aren't royalty (matthias even in the one time he describes his background calls his family paupers) #they're ordinary people who have by structures of war been pulled into semi-priviledged positions of elite soldierdom and servitude #and that is fascinating. two kings set their fighting dogs against each other and they fall in love #that love can be liberatory it can be radical it can be real it can also just be. not enough to break the cycle of violence #ANYWAY!!! i love them forever. i have thoughts

[even-disco-baby]

YOU — “What was it like when we were partners?”

JEAN VICQUEMARE — He looks at you, taking a long drag from his cigarette. His eyes are hard. “You don’t remember at all?”

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Impossible: Failure] — You try to search through the mire of your mind, but come up with only the ghosts of vague and conflicting feelings— comfort and pain, gratitude and resentment, and above all, fear.

YOU — Fear of what?

CONCEPTUALIZATION — Of being seen. Seen and despised.

EMPATHY — He fears that, too. That one day, he’ll look at you and realize that it was all for nothing.

-1 MORALE

PRECINCT 41 — The night air is pleasantly cool, and even this late, you can hear plenty of signs of life in Jamrock. Dogs barking, laughter in the distance. It only makes your own silence more pronounced.

“I remember we were friends.”

“I remember we hated each other.”

“I remember you cramping my style.”

“I remember being a burden.”

“I don’t. I’m sorry.”

JEAN VICQUEMARE — He sighs. Smoke trails as he shakes his head. “It’s fine.”

DRAMA — It is decidedly *not* fine, sire.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “You know what? It’s probably better that way. Don’t worry about the past. Your great big life is finally starting.” Every word drips with irony. He takes another puff of the cigarette. “Good for you.”

“You’re right. I won’t worry about it.”

“I swear I’m going to make the most of it. It’ll be different this time. I swear, Jean.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“You sound sarcastic.”

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “Oh, do I? Sorry, let me try again.” He claps with mock politeness. “Congratulations on the amnesia. You must be thrilled.”

“Ha ha. Real funny.”

“Maybe I am. Fuck off.”

“No. I’m scared. It’s been really hard.”

“I’m sorry, okay? It’s not like I can undo it. I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I’m sorry…”

(Say nothing)

JEAN VICQUEMARE — He lets out another breath, closing his eyes. “…Sorry. Look, just forget it, okay, Harry?” He tosses the butt of his cigarette dispassionately into the bushes and lights another. “Believe me, it’s not worth dredging up.”

DRAMA — What he means to say, sire, is that you don’t want to know how bad things got.

EMPATHY — Even he doesn’t like to reminisce. Not on the bad *or* the good. It would all swallow him up if he wasn’t careful. But he can’t forget, either, so he just carries it. And now he carries it alone.

INLAND EMPIRE — He was fooling himself if he ever thought that to live was to be anything but alone. We are all either leavers or those left behind.

HALF LIGHT — It’s not your fault that he started to look like a leaver. You had to be faster than him. You couldn’t let it happen again. Never again.

VOLITION — Derail this train of thought before it builds momentum. It won’t lead you anywhere helpful.

None of this is helpful. Fuck this. [Leave]

[Espirit de Corps — Formidable 13] Just how bad did things get?

CHECK SUCCESS

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — Apocalyptic. Screaming matches that devolved into agonized wails. Words that neither of you can ever take back. Nights spent talking you off of ledges only for you to turn and shove him toward the edge. Times he told you to go ahead and jump, only to then turn and cling to you in terror of a lifelong haunting. Pitiful attempts to revive the corpse of your friendship. Empty ideals of brotherhood clutched tightly to your chests. His orbit around you, both a curse and a reassurance.

SAVOIR FAIRE — You needed him to think you were cool again.

EMPATHY — He needed you to think he was worth trying for.

INLAND EMPIRE — You both discovered that you were sad, cruel animals, incapable of anything but lashing out at each other and licking your own self-inflicted wounds.

VOLITION — And so you changed, somewhat. You did what you had to do to survive and evolve. There is no use or sense in regretting it.

EMPATHY — But *he* refuses to change. He cannot bring himself to dig his heels back out of the dirt. This precinct will be his coffin. He has already decided.

RHETORIC — A memory stirs. A letter, written to you, but never meant for your eyes. You read it, anyway. He never forgave you. You never forgave him, either.

“Kid,

“I bet you think someday your life will begin. That it’s still out there somehow, a great big life just waiting to start. Well, it isn’t. This is all there is. This job is the only fight we are given. After this, we will be its veterans.

“There is nothing more in that beloved future of yours. We are all done there. Done and gone.”

VOLITION — But there is a future beyond ourselves. There is all of the rest of human history-to-be, and they are at our mercy. Find some mercy in yourself, Harry. You know there’s something beyond this job, this precinct.

No. Jean is right. This is my home, these people my half-brothers. I would be nothing without them. I don’t want to die alone.

No. He’s right. There is no future for me. I’m a dead man walking, and soon I’ll be gone. It doesn’t matter.

No. There is no mercy in me. I’m tired. I hope the world ends. I hope we can all be done.

You’re right. I changed a little. That means that I can keep changing. I can be a kinder animal.

You’re right, but I’m afraid. I don’t remember my life before the RCM. I don’t know what I would be if I left.

Isn’t there any way to change Jean, too? Is there a great big life waiting for him?

VOLITION — I… I don’t know. I’m sorry, Harry. I cannot answer for other people. His future is in his own hands.

PRECINCT 41 — Dogs howl in the distance. What a lonely sound.

#disco elysium #harry du bois #jean vicquemare #suicide tw #ok sorry this is not the one that i said was gonna be different it’s gonna be the NEXT next one #i had to get this one off my chest while i was still thinking abt jean #but um. yeah. lots of complicated feelings abt this guy #can’t say i Like him. since he’s a cop and all. and also just generally #i think he’s very interesting and funny and there’s a lot of poignant stuff to unpack w him and harry #but i dunno i just???? how do you even articulate this #the damage to their relationship is never gonna be undone no matter what #but especially not if harry stays a cop forever #and i think jean is never gonna quit even if harry goes #hell i think even kim is more likely to be convinced to leave and i’m not even optimistic abt HIM #‘’there is nothing more in that beloved future of yours. we are all done there. done and gone.’’ #that does not sound like a man who has any interest in changing… man i dunno. #acab and all that.

[spocks-kaathyra]

"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that

#joking but like. am I wrong though #yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell #except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem #I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning. #and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me. #I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it #this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think #mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction #but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face #anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops #also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend?? #well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie #really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level #mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child #but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful #oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships #ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS #literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them #there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine #guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry #narcissus's echoes #vent

[red-moon-at-night]

Survivor.

kind of a 'then vs now' comparison (idolhood vs living through everything post-idolhood) but in the same outfit.

the urge to quote "despite everything, it's still you" is very strong right now.

#milgram oc #ocgram #koike yumemi #this is where the creative energy is at today okay besties we're unpacking self-image and self-esteem and the trauma and the baggage and th #it's funny bc by drawing yumemi in a more vulnerable state I am now feeling like an overprotective parent letting my kid out into the world #I cannot tell you how much I love yumemi in all shapes + forms ;w; there's so many idol career designs I haven't even gotten to showing yet #the time difference between these two is the closest though - I'd put it at around... 8-10 months before the present day?? yeah. #is it normal to want to hug your own OC? I'm feeling that right now oough TwT #I can't really explain it but I'm really happy with this piece 💜 I think the vibes are just right yknow #my art #Edit: can't believe I completely blanked about what I wanted to mention asdfghjkl- I want to emphasise yumemi's definition of a 'normal'-- #--body is highly distorted. when u spend ur whole life in idol training regimes you forget how fucked up the whole process is. #so for her the changes to her body feel way more dramatic than they actually are... like. she just has a regular body now. but it's not-- #-- *her* normal if that makes sense?? anyway. completely forgot to mention this when that was the 1st thing I wanted to say oof

[dennisboobs]

talking to macdennis shippers makes me realize how much more i enjoy charden lmfao

#i love early seasons macden a lot but i think they sort of. fucked mcdn beyond repair in a lot of ways #where they Need to derail the show and do some genuine repairs #if theyd stayed the way they were in s5 itd be like oh yeah nbd theyre fucking lol #but now its. complicated #which isn't inherently bad but i think theres so much to unpack that its just like. if its not done right its going to be a disaster #charden have remained actual friends #it doesn't feel like a huge jump for them to be on good terms #but everyone immediately assumes something must have happened offscreen if macden are getting along #like. its overcomplicated! idk! i think dennis' entire character is overcomplicated #and it makes it really hard because he is So established to just have a fun plot #also i think theyve slowly fucked mac's character and have no intention of fixing it like they have with charlie and dennis' characters #like charlie was made Too Dumb and theyve been remedying that by making him a little more grounded and serious #dennis was Too Angry and they're remedying it by having him develop a way of burning off pressure without exploding #but everything theyve developed for mac has just sort of been left behind #if there was a moment to show how he'd changed it wouldve been post mfhp but it almost seemed like it was a complete reversal #he devolved lol #he was definitely like. better. in s16. but he's lost so much complexity while the others have gained more #and it feels incredibly unbalanced #dee is just a nothing character now too which (while i disagree with a lot of the complaints abt her in s16) can be seen clearly now #but mac is just. #okay im done rambling bye #ada speaks #idk how to explain but macden as a dynamic feels like it holds both of their characters back #and it rarely brings anything new or interesting to the table #dennis shows a different side of himself around charlie #but he is. mostly just angry or exasperated around mac

[numbaoneflaya]

I know we all love to clown on Vincent but personally I dont think we clown on him enough. One thing iv never seen fucking mentioned is that the only food he gives MC is a can of wet dog food. Which like, okay. First off does he just not have any other food in his house. Not even going the classic energy bar and beer route, alright man good to know fucking STRADE is a better host than you. Wet dog food. Like for a dog. Does Vincent eat dog food? Why does he have dog food? Does he legitimately eat dog food why does he have that? He doesnt have a dog. Does he only eat it in werewolf form or is it like a regular thing is it like a can of beans to him? Does he eat wet fucking dog food? when was his transition from dry to wet food? Iv GOT to imagine its actually implied that he eats the dog food since he offers it to MC not out of any humiliation tactic or weird freak desire but just bcs he says its the only thing he had. Its not even a weird thing to him. Its just, like, something he doesnt even register as weird. How long has he been eating wet dog food? I fucking hate it here why do i love this man can someone come pick me up. Why does he eat dog food

#vincent metzger #btd #boyfriend to death #i rememebr this randomly and convince myself like no you amde that up thats not in the game #then i went and replayed it and yeah he has dog food #HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN EATING DOG FOOD VINCENT #DOES IT TASTE GOOD TO YOU?? DO YOU HEAT IT UP OR USE A SPOON OR WHAT #im sobbing vrying throwing up. jilly im so sorry your man is like this #genuinellllly feel like im the only mf alive that has played his route like 500 times and has it memorized. everyone else is still hungup #on the vomit and piss. but there is SO MUCH MORE to unpack that gets lost in the storm

[vendettasfanfictioning]

this hurts my soul!!!!!!! viciously, aggressively, mercilessly.

because dean never was!!! dean grew up chasing for john's approval. he was desperate to be strong enough for sam, to protect him, and for john, so he can help find the fucker that killed mary and tore their family apart. dean was never allowed to be a child!!!! but back when john was alive, this wasn't something he could admit, because that would mean admitting that john was never a father to them, that he was the one who raised sam, because john was never there—that would mean admitting that even though john taught them that family should come first, he still chose revenge while dean and sam were left, starving in a motel somewhere.

and this hurts so, so much because during those times, dean looked to his memories of mary for comfort. to reminisce the times john winchester was soft, the way only mary could make him.

"you are not a child."

"i never was." because dad was too busy looking for your ghost to be a father.

that's how this scene comes across to me. and it! hurts!

#don't get me wrong. i like mary's character #a bit of a wild swing for the production to add into the story yeah but she adds more winchester drama #and boy do i love winchester drama #(looks at all of dean's childhood trauma) uh oh is it time to unpack all of that? #i sure hope so #god do i love this sad little man #supernatural #watching spn #dean winchester #spn dean #spn.txt #spn mary #mary winchester #12x14 #s12e14