#You see when I write Stanley it's kinda in the back of my head that Stubborn!Stanley enjoys the Parable

[alexis-royce]

Hello! Question: is Lee trans by any chance?

If you've ever felt gender euphoria from looking at Charlie Day, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

Patreon | Ko-Fi

#NonPlatonic Forms #The original punchline was going to be that he only gave Celeste a 6/10 #Which is how he knows he's transmasc and not transfemme #But that was too many panels #But yeah Lee being trans is a big part of why I keep enjoying writing him #You see when I write Stanley it's kinda in the back of my head that Stubborn!Stanley enjoys the Parable #in part because he's trans #When I'm in VR Chat and I've got my Stanley avatar on it's really funny and cool to be this dumb glitch man #And Stubborn!Stanley feels all of that #I'm not gonna put Lee back in The Stanley Parable because I think I could use these two to make something cool #And I'm working on making them vibe in their world the same way Stanley and The Narrator clicked in Advanced Ludology #It was fun cracking open those storytelling conceits #And I legit have a lot to say about immersion vs being aware of craftsmanship #And y'know being trans means Lee and I might really love the craftsmanship side of things <3

[velvetmud]

Stanley Kubrick on film

joel finds a camera and expresses his desire to make a smut film.

warning(s): 18+ explicit, daddy kink, smoking weed, also lots of dirty talk, dirty things

silver fox two decades into outbreak!joel where cameras are a rare thing to come across but somehow weed isn’t. not a request just another fun little thing that kinda came out of nowhere. still working on some other stuff ! why he always comes out so dirty in everything i start to write is beyond me :)

-

the smell of smoke, sweat, and sex filled the air of the quaint room.

the stereo’s playing a mixtape from some romantic-alternative nineties albums on shuffle. joel bought a quarter ounce of weed from one of Tommy’s friends. went as far as lighting all kinds of candles and placing them throughout on various countertops. as soon as you walked in you couldn’t help yourself from grabbing him and laughing, “are you trying to fuck me or set me on fire?”

he grumbled about this being one of his trying efforts to woo you. while you relax and unwind together sharing the first spliff, he pointedly mentions how he found a camera while he was going out salvaging for stupid goodies with Ellie that afternoon. screen uncracked, quality like new. even the battery was at a lucky hundred percent. he wanted to take advantage of a lingering fantasy now that he’d been presented with an open opportunity.

it wasn’t until a few hours later, fucking and devouring you every way you’ve always liked, he managed to assure you only his and your eyes get to re-watch the hypothetical smutty tape.

reality also was that you got high and felt too fucked out to put up a fight anymore, and he needed to savor it all on film.

it wasn’t necessarily a hypothetical anymore.

joel’s hungry expression hides behind the camera lens as his thumb clicked to capture your each and every movement. he went on to start video recording after a little while of obtaining a lengthy photo gallery.

while he’s puffing on the roach end of another joint, he blows the smoke out from the side of his mouth. puts it down and starts to focus solely on you, ashing whatever’s left. he could see you were already smoked out over half an hour ago anyway. once he gets his fill of watching you tease yourself, rubbing your tits, thighs and legs up and down, he coaches you into opening up a little more.

“yeah, yeah. don’t be afraid to spread those lips apart—just like that, atta girl. gorgeous.”

he zooms in on your naked legs until the screen shows nothing but your drooling, freshly fucked pussy into frame. still pulsing around nothing, leaking the cum that’s yours and his combined inside.

sweat sticks to his forehead and his hair is comparable to a birds nest at this point. he’s hard again, even if he’s drained his dick in you several times in different places earlier. he easily slips into the role of film director, starts telling you how to move and what to say.

“gonna play this back and watch it whenever I miss you. wanna thank you for doing this, baby,” he sighs. runs his hands up your legs with admiration. “let’s see that pussy, yeah. spread ‘em nice and wide, wanna see.” two of his fingers scissor your puffy lips open. his thick spend slowly starts running down your leg.

“fuck, that’s gorgeous. looks so pretty when you’re all used up. full of my cum.” he already knows future him will easily finish less than two minutes into this. “tell the camera who fucked this sweet pussy.”

”you did daddy…” you answer, shy pink cheeks stuffed into the pillow, turned over to the side.

“mmm it’s okay, baby girl. don’t gotta be shy. you know I’ll always tell you exactly how bad I want you.” he breathes, leaning his head down to yours to hold your chin as he spoke. the camera’s still in joel’s grip. it picks up the soft sounds of his rough voice reassuring you. gentle and smiling. he just wants to watch you have fun for him, over and over, on repeat. this was the best solution.

he gets the camera and puts your body back in frame. he thinks he’s turned into Stanley Kubrick as he moves it around to get different lighting and angles of your pussy. once he’s found the most lewd, up-close shot possible, he keeps the lens focused.

“so go ‘head baby. since we’re playing show and tell, go on showing and telling the camera everything you begged daddy to do to you.” he instructed, keeping his eyes glued on you through the square little screen.

you’re grinning ear to ear, still flushed under the spotlight of attention he’s putting on you.

“I…I begged daddy to cum inside me.”

“that’s right, sweet girl. what else? did it feel good, feeling daddy fuck you hard like that?”

he’s stroking himself in a tight fist now, your leftover juices still lubricating his shaft. now the camera’s framed on the two of you, eagerly pleading and teasing with him. you’re harsh when you slip two of your fingers inside, watching him with an open mouth.

���yeah, mmhm. I see that look in your eyes. needin’ my cock again. this,” he holds the tip right up to your lips, making sure the camera sees. “is yours baby. could fuck and suck it all you want. whenever you need.”

he moves the camera higher to capture a nice bird’s eye view as you suckle down on a mouthful of his tip, running your fingers through the milky evidence still pooling between your legs.

a warning pops up on the screen, something about a low battery. joel curses under his breath then picks up speed with his hips, reaching down with the other hand to find your clit. he holds his breath while looking at the sight, delighted by the visual. he starts to feel the build up as he remembers that he gets to re-watch this over, and over, and over again.

“gonna have to go a little faster baby, yeah. just like that, that’s perfect.”

-

masterlist + buy me a ko-fi

#joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller/reader #joel miller tlou #joel miller fanfic #tlou fanfic #the last of us #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller #the last of us smut #tw daddy kink #joel miller hbo #pedro pascal

[missuswalker]

Dude the red hcs are so good bc I have the exact same vision of her in my head like playing volleyball and being extremely gay and pining for Wendy like that’s EXACTLY what I thought too 😭😭 BOUNCING OFF THAT VOLLEYBALL IDEA could you do mutual pining hcs of basketball player Kyle and volleyball player reader please? With bff Red on the side bc the energy u gave her makes me wanna see u write her more HAHA thank you!!

THIS IS SO BFHEFBEUIHU!!! lets kiss.

cheer you on || kyle broflovski x fem reader

✮ summary: your best friend, red, has been trying to convince you that kyle likes you, though you aren't totally convinced until he shows it himself (pt two can be found here) ✮ warnings: stanley marsh jumpscare

"God damn, he's so damn fine." Red gives me a look, already knowing who I was talking about. "Girl, you're like a stalker, hashtag free Kyle," Red scoffs, looking in the direction I was. "Yeah, well you can't tell me that Wendy isn't in your recently searched on Insta," I retort. "I could. It just wouldn't be true."

My eyes stayed on Kyle, watching as he talks to his friends, telling someone off for spilling water all over the lunch table. Kyle and I were okay friends, we talked when we saw each other, but it was never much more than that. Red swore on her life that he flirts with me all the time, but I could only think he was just being nice.

"If you don't go talk to him, I'm drowning you." Red jests, taking a sip from her water bottle. "Hell no, are you insane?" I say, shutting even the idea of talking to him down, stealing a grape out of Red's lunchbox. "He's looking over here," Red whispers, elbowing me.

"Shut up!" I snap, trying not to give in to the urge to look back. "Woah, woah, woah, he's coming over her," Red continues, her voice louder than I would've liked it to be. "Shut up!" I repeat, acting like I didn't have a clue that he was walking up behind me.

"Hey, Y/n, what's up?" Kyle asks, taking the seat next to me. "Not much, just... lunch." I need to shut the fuck up. "Cool," Kyle chuckles, pushing his curly bangs out of his eyes. "You coming to the basketball tonight? It's a big one and I was kinda hoping you could be my personal cheerleader," He grins. I could feel Red's amusement even while I wasn't facing her.

"I totally would, but I have volleyball tonight." I answer. Of course I have volleyball the night Kyle invites me to come watch his basketball. "Home game?" He asks, messing with his bangs once again. "Yeah, sorry, I really wish I could come." He shrugs, giving me a nod, glancing back at his friends.

"It's cool, don't worry about it. Next time, maybe," He mumbles, standing up. "See you in history?" I nod, giving him an apologetic smile. "Yeah, see you." I watch him walk back to his table, jumping as Red punches me in the shoulder.

"He was so bummed! "My personal cheerleader"? Are you serious? He wants you! That was so an invitation to have his little kosher children!" Red exclaims, shaking my arm. "Ew, what the hell? Have his kosher children? He just invited me to a basketball game, I bet he invited, like, eight other girls," I argue, pulling my arm away.

"Are you talking about Kyle?"

"Jesus Chirst," I huff, jumping at the sudden appearance of Stan. Whipping around, I see him leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. "He only invited you. He's been growing the balls to do it all day." Stan continues, staring into my soul. I give Red a look, my eyes going back to Stan.

"Ok... bye Stan," I say, waving in hopes he'd leave. He rolls his eyes, returning to his table. "Creep," Red mumbles, zipping up her lunchbox.

✮

Our match had just ended, our setter, Bebe, dragging out a cooler of gatorades. "Holy shit, Y/n, look to your left," Red laughs, nudging me. I turn and immediately see what she was telling me to look at. "Is that Kyle? Why is he here, did he skip his basketball game?" I say, completely shocked to see the redhead boy at my volleyball game.

He gives me a wave, his signature goofy grin taking over his previously straight face as he steps down from the bleachers. I meet him in the middle, giving him a confused look. "What are you doing here, I thought you had basketball?"

"I wanted to come cheer you on. I called in sick, Butters was gonna take my place." He answers, sending me into a swarm of thoughts. "You're fucked if your coach finds out you were at my stupid volleyball match." I scold, earning a playful eye roll from Kyle.

"It wasn't stupid. You were really good. Plus, I wanted to ask you something."

Hoooollllyyyy shit. If this was going where I thought it was going, I was going to pass away on the spot.

"I think you're gorgeous, and I was wondering if I could take you to get something to eat sometime. I really like you."

Woah.

"Yeah, that sounds fun. Text me?" "Definitely. See you tomorrow."

I was literally about to pass away. Walking back to my team, Red was readily prepared to shit on me about this.

"Told you so." "Shut up."

a/n: MEOOOWWWW

ruff ruff ruff im such a kahl gremlin (not proofread, i'll do it after my nap 😻) (its 3 am)

#south park imagines #south park #x reader #kyle brovlofski #kyle broflovski x reader #south park fanfiction #south park x reader #i want to marry this anon

[agaypanic]

hey girl! do you still write for stanley barber? if so, could you write about the reader having too many drinks and accidentally confessing to him??

Drunk Words Are Sober Thoughts (Stanley Barber X Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: To celebrate the end of finals and a nearing graduation, you and your friends have a little party at Stanley’s house. Being drunk makes you lose your filter, especially around Stanley.

A/N: takes place at the end of senior year, syd didnt killed brad, sydney x dina bc i love them

***

“Okay, okay, okay. Never have I ever…” You trailed off, trying to find the thought you just had. It took a second, but when it came back, you clapped your hands. “Got it! Never have I ever wrecked a library.”

You giggled while you watched Sydney groan, rolling her eyes as she sipped her drink.

“I’m starting to think you’re out to get me, N/n.” 

“You know I love you, Syd-Syd.”

“Okay, my turn!” Dina announced, playing with the lip of her cup.

Dina was the one who had the brilliant idea to have a small get-together to celebrate your friend group passing your finals. It was a unanimous decision to party at Stanley’s house, which was often parent-free. He provided almost everything: the weed, the drinks, the tunes, the looks.

That last part was probably your drunkenness talking.

“Y/n.” The boy in question shook your shoulder, taking you out of your thoughts.

“Dina said, drink if you’ve had a crush on someone in this circle,” Sydney said, smirking at you before taking another sip. Dina teasingly raised her eyebrows at you.

Avoiding Stanley’s gaze, you took the last sip your cup had to offer. Although you knew everyone took a sip, Dina and Syd were the only ones who knew your little secret involving an infatuation with the curly-headed dealer. Plus, you were all well aware of the whole love fiasco with your three friends. It ended with Syd and Dina getting together and you and Stanley being two third wheels.

“Empty cup!” Stanley announced as you swallowed the last drop. Seeing the slight back-and-forth waving your body was doing, he plucked the cup out of your hands. “Maybe it should stay empty.”

“Nooo.” You whined, looking at him with a pout. Whatever Dina had mixed in your cup was definitely having some kind of effect on you. You lay down on your side, arm supporting your head. “I’m fine, I promise.” Stanley didn’t seem so convinced. “One more drink?”

“I dunno.”

“Oh, come on, Stanley! She deserves it!” Dina exclaimed, giggling at the unexpected volume of her voice. “She practically killed herself studying for finals. Give the girl another drink.”

Stanley sighed, standing up and going to his coffee table, which was littered with an assortment of liquor.

“Fine, but after this one, she’s cut off.”

***

You did not get cut off. The next few hours became a blur of more chugs and sips, a couple shots, and a few inhales from a joint Stanley had rolled for the occasion. Sure, you’d wake up tomorrow with a killer hangover and probably everlasting liver damage. But as they say, you only live once.

Everyone had been dancing to a record on Stanley’s player, jumping around to the beat and screaming the lyrics. You were lucky that no one else was home and that the neighbors couldn’t hear you from the basement. 

While catching your breath, you listened to the next track play. It was a slow, somewhat romantic and sappy number. You found yourself moving towards Stanley like two magnets while Sydney and Dina wrapped their arms around each other to sway to the music.

“Aw, they’re so cute.” You whispered, which wasn’t really a whisper at all. But the couple didn’t seem to hear you. “It’s kinda gross.” You and Stanley giggled, watching your friends.

“Come on, dance with me,” Stanley murmured, hands guiding yours to loop around your neck before settling on your waist. You were lucky that your cheeks were already red from the alcohol because the close proximity made heat rise to your face.

“You’re so pretty, Stanny.” You blurted out, droopy eyes focused on his features. The boy grinned, letting a hand rub up and down your back.

“You’re totally drunk.”

“No, m’not.” You were. “Besides, doesn’t matter. You’re still pretty.”

“Well, you’re prettier,” Stanley responded. The two of you slow danced in silence, slowly forgetting that your friends were still a few feet away from you. You rested your head on Stanley’s shoulder, allowing him to press his cheek against the side of your head. “I think you bought me this record.”

“I did?” Your recollection was a bit fuzzy on the matter.

“Yeah. For my birthday.” Fingers gently raked through your hair, brushing some away from your face. “I really like it. It’s one of my favorites.” You hummed, secretly giddy that something you had given him was considered one of his favorite things.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“What?” You lifted your head off Stanley’s shoulder to see him staring at you. You couldn’t decipher the look on his face, but you hoped it was nothing negative. 

“I’m in love with you.” You murmured. Embarrassment slowly bubbled up inside of you. This was so stupid of you, getting so drunk you lost your filter and told one of your best friends, who couldn’t possibly feel the same way, that you were in love with him. “Or, maybe not, I dunno.” You figured if you tried brushing it off quickly, he would forget it. You groaned, hiding your face in his chest. “God, forget I said it. I’m just wasted.”

He didn’t push you away; in fact, it felt like Stanley tried keeping you closer to him. Knowing you were now beyond embarrassed by your statements, he focused on the wall behind you so you wouldn’t feel his stare.

“Well, some people say that drunk words are sober thoughts.” Stanley twirled a lock of your hair with his fingers, hoping to comfort you in some way. “Since we’re confessing things now, I have, like, the biggest crush on you.” He felt you stiffen against him from the statement, continuing when you slowly relaxed. “What sucks is that we’re probably gonna forget this. Because, y’know, we’re kinda fucked up right now.”

He was right, but in this moment, you felt stone-cold sober.

“I hope I remember.” You said softly, feeling brave enough to look up at Stanley.

“I hope so, too.” He gave you a small smile.

“Don’t worry,” Sydney said, making you both jump. You had completely forgotten you weren’t alone, being in your own little bubble. “If you forget, we’ll definitely tell you all about it in the morning.” Dina broke away from Syd and stumbled over to Stanley’s record player to replace the large disk with something else.

“Okay, lovebirds. This one’s for you.” She giggled, making her way back to her girlfriend. Stanley immediately recognized the song, pulling you closer as I’m Yours Tonight from Bloodwitch, Stanley’s absolute favorite band, bounced off the basement walls. Feeling warm and fuzzy, you melted into Stanley as he whispered the lyrics to you, gently guiding you back and forth in a dance.

#agaypanic #stanley barber x reader #stanley barber #i am not okay with this x reader #i am not okay with this #ianowt

[ryusuisloveinterest]

hallo!! may I please request hcs with stanley snyder being your commander? like, you're in the military and in his unit and he's quite fond of you and develops and crush on you that you later reciprocate, and he like, tells Xeno abt it lmaoo thank you!! love your writing!!

hello anon! I’m not sure if you’re the anon that normally requests so you’re now officially 💙 anon lol. There was so many things I wrote that it might as well be a scenario in hc format if that makes any sense at all. Anyway I hope you enjoy!

Stanley Snyder’s crush on his subordinate 💓

OH BOY WHERE DO I BEGIN

I think the first thing that would’ve drawn him to you is how you’re not afraid to speak your mind

While all of his other subordinates just mindlessly follow orders, you need to know why and don’t have a problem saying no

“On our next mission we’re going to have to take over a town until there is a peace treaty.”

“Why?”

“Because the enemy has to know we are serious about our demands.”

“Then what’ll happen if they still don’t agree. I’m not going to kill innocents commander!”

“No one is killing innocents. We’ll discuss it more when the time comes.”

Then of course you carried out the mission perfectly 

You’ve never once let him down 

From then on he thought you were the hottest person to ever exist

He tried to talk to you about personal things time to time but he found it hard because he has a hard time sharing things with people in the first place 

“So…do you smoke?”

“No commander, I value my lungs.”

The only exception to this is Xeno

Xeno and Stanley love talking to each other no matter what about, but they get even more excited when their friend talks about the thing they love

Every time Xeno hears Stanley mention your name he smiles to himself for his friend’s happiness 

“Found them changing an old man’s battery for his car today.” Stanley tells Xeno as he lights his cigarette. “When I asked them about it they told me they wanted to learn so they can teach their little sister.”

Xeno chuckles as he finishes mixing his concoction. “Maybe they can help you when you need to change your oil again. God knows you nearly flooded the Earth again with the amount of oil that spilt everywhere.”

Stanley never really asked you out, but it was clear that that’s what he was trying to do 

There was a military ball being held and Stanley was supposed to get an award and give a speech

He wasn’t nervous, after all he’s gotten plenty of awards. But the minute he saw you in your dress/suit, everything that was in his head instantly left

“Good evening (y/n). If I may say, you look absolutely stunning in your dress/suit.” 

You chuckle. “Thank you commander. And if it’s not out of my place I must tell you that you look very handsome in that suit. But of course you seem to look handsome in anything you wear,” you tell him as you place a hand on where his medal will be. “Congratulations on your award.”

With that you try to walk off. Notice the try😉

He instantly grabs your arm. “Dance with me.”

You raise an amused eyebrow. 

“It’s an order soldier.”

And with that the whole night the two of you were together. He introduced you to Xeno despite him basically knowing who you are. You dance with him, drink with him, talk laugh and everything else!

He almost forgot he got an award and has to make a speech lol

After the ball he insists he should walk you to your room 

When you get there, you both tell each other how much fun you had tonight.

Blame it on the alcohol or Stanley just being so sick and tired of wanting to be with you that he just kisses you

To his surprise you kiss back

You two kinda sorta make out in your bedroom for a hot minute but you push him off 🫢

“G-goodnight commander, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

When tomorrow comes and he starts assigning chores for his subordinates to do when I he can’t find your name of the list

He checked it again and again and again and again and you get the idea

He asks someone about it and they tell him you’re leaving the regiment 

He’s so shocked and mad he just storms to your quarters

“(Y/N)! WHY ARE YOU DROPPING OUT???”

Your sister that you’ve mentioned before is standing with a box in her hand as you tape another

“This is who you’ve settled for (y/n)?” Your sister asked you.

You chuckle and send her out to give you and Stanley some privacy

Stanley, arms crossed, waits there with a pout on his face

“I’ve found a job as a personal body guard for a new big singer. The pay is good but I won’t be working under you anymore so-“

“Is this about last night? Look I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or overstepped your boundary. I just couldn’t contain my feelings for you! But please you don’t have to le-“

“Will you let me finish commander? I’m leaving so I can pursue a relationship with you without all the other subordinates talking shit!”

His face is blank, but then he tried to hide the dumb smiling that’s just trying to form on his face 

He coughs. “Very well. I’m glad you want this as much as me.”

You stick your empty gun at his throat 

“Don’t make me regret it.” You tell him

Man he’s so in love with you 

#dr stone #dcst #dr stone headcanons #stanley snyder x you #stanley snyder headcanons #stanley snyder x reader #stanley snyder

[rubye402]

I'll be honest. I thought for sure Narrator was gonna Tumblr's sexyman for 2022 when Ultra Deluxe dropped. Really fandom, I'm truly disappointed in us. So I guess if y'all are too much of cowards to do it ya damn selves, (/j (joking)) I'll make the romantic Narry stuff. I'll be the clown. The court jester. The gremlin that screeches--

Romantic Narrator (He/Him) HC (we're going to assume he's in a sort of Narration room, and that he has a physical body. You're the only one allowed in.) Also GN!Reader.

After you both met (however the hell that happens) Narry's... A little clingy already. Not that he's downright obsessive or hugs you without permission, but he wants you to stick around as he vents about Stanley, he wants you to just be in his presence when Stanley (and he) is happy in the Story ending, and he needs comfort after things like the Zen ending. Things like that.

With enough time, he eventually THEN starts to kinda show signs of just how touch starved he is, by starting to subtly get his fill of physical touch.

"Oh, my papers for this part of the story HAPPENS to be is right next to your side. Let me reach around you and grab it."

"Ugh! Can you BELIEVE Stanley?! Here, let me lay my head in your lap as I lay down and complain and be dramatic about it."

...Well, HE thinks he's being subtle.

Narry doesn't think much about it at first, thinking he's just been alone without physical contact for so long that he just craves it.

...Then you hug him on your own after Stanley has given him nothing but bad endings one day. (Is Stanley being a prick or was causing Narry to have a genuinely shit day an accident? You decide!)

And then he just feels... Warmth in his face as he slowly realizes that he likes you.

Oh this boy when he's in love. He gives Stanley new paths to follow, and those paths have everything to do with trying to figure out what you like and don't like in a romantic setting, and he takes notes on your reaction. (He says it's for Stanley though. Meanwhile our office worker is... So confused why it's basically a fucking DATING SIM)

Then there's the poems. He's a writer, of course writing you a poem is his bread and butter. He is SO flowery in his words though. What a drama king.

Of course, eventually you accept his eccentric way of saying "I like you, a lot." And he is OVER THE MOON he's so happy

I feel bad for poor Stanley who more than likely, heard several times Narrator and you kissing, and Narry scrambles as he realizes Stanley heard ALLLLL of that.

"NOPE IGNORE THAT STANLEY THAT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS-"

He's very attentive to you. If he even THINKS something is up with you, he'll put everything on pause.

"Yet there was not a single person here either. Feeling a wav-- Hold on Stanley. Are you OK over there, dear? ... Oh, you're alright? You sure? ... Ah. I see. Alright then. Forgive me Stanley, let's proceed. *ahem* Feeling a wave of disbelief-"

And when you do need something, Narry tells Stanley to stay wherever he is and might even lock him in that room for a bit, as he goes to your side, with a muted mic, in a heartbeat.

And while Stanley wouldn't see it, sometimes you two cuddle on the chair Narry sits on to narrate the Stanley Parable, with one sitting in the others lap. It really depends how tall you are compared to Narry on where you sit.

If you're shorter, you're little spoon and he hugs around your waste with one hand, as the other controls everything needed as he narrates, as he puts his chin on top of your head.

If you're taller, he sits in your lap and he'll reach back and pull your arms around him as he works.

If you want to be in the opposite position (short behind him, tall in front of him), he'll try to work around you the best he can as he complies.

So to say the least, his bonding with you is vibing together as he works. Though if you want his attention more often and you express so, Narry makes some more endings for Stanley that will distract the office worker for a long while. Maybe even load up some more games and let him go off in the world and do whatever for a while.

If Stanley has especially misbehaved though, Narry will plop him down in the baby game and tell him he's not allowed to leave until he's played the full 4 hour game.

His petnames for you include:

(My) Dear(est)

(My) Darling

Sweetheart

(My) Love (or rather Luv bc british?)

And probably a few others that are either individual to you, or some semblance of an inside joke between you two.

And if you have any petnames you'd like him to call you, just say the word and that's the thing he'll call you most often.

Overall, he's a dramatic drama king with a short fuse that only you can put out to see his more patient side. He's going to be clingy, but he's ready to be at your side for anything you'll ever need.

#ta-stinkin-da fandom #you're welcome #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #kinda #tsp narrator #tsp narry #narrator x reader #tsp narry x reader #tsp

[continentalblue]

can you maybe do a tsp narrator x masc reader (sorta hurt/comfort), where the reader is kinda like stanley (can move about the game and hear the narrator, but actually can talk) (btw the narrator wouldn't have a physical form at this point, just being a voice), and reader is depressed, so when he gets to the zending, he wants to jump off the stairs but breaks down in tears at the edge (and is also really sad that he'd be ruining the narrator's happiness), and then the narrator gets into a physical human form to comfort him. i keep thinking about it and wanted someone to write it. it'd probably be in short fic format, thanks :)

Super sorry this took so long to write!! I've been really busy with life stuff at the moment and this fic really evaded my muse lol

Wordcount: Approximately 1,053 words

CW: Suicidal ideation/ suicide. The fic will be under a "Read More."

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or ideation, please contact your local crisis counsellor or suicide hotline. Help is available.

It had been another shit day. 

It wasn’t that the story was bad, of course. It was fairly compelling and ever since you had started dating the Narrator, he had added additional paths to freshen things up. Things weren’t shit because of Stanley; he mostly kept to himself while continually replaying the Games Ending. The Narrator himself was an absolute delight. His endless sarcasm had softened a little bit from your first meeting into something more teasing. 

No, it was just your brain today. 

The Narrator took notice after your fourth replayal of the Apartment Ending. “Love? What’s wrong?”

You mumbled out a “nothing.” To be honest, you didn’t think he would notice. He was fairly self-absorbed in his own story. You winced, knowing that the words were a bit mean yet not being able to deny them. That just made you feel worse. 

He gave an unconvinced hum. 

You followed his story until you got to the lift. You jumped down at the right moment, wincing at the impact. 

“Where are we heading?”

You could detect the first undercurrent of nervousness in his voice. 

“I’d like to see the Zen Room. I need … a break.”

“Oh, well, if that’s all. Yes, let us be happy together there. I’m fancying a break, myself.” 

The relief in his voice was palpable and you swallowed back the lump in your throat. “Yeah. It’ll … well … it’ll be nice.”

Not for you, the traitorous little voice whispered in your brain. You know what you need to do. 

Squaring your shoulders, you stepped into the Zen Room. As usual, it was nice. Perfect. 

It was a shame you wouldn’t be able to see it again. (Or until the next replay, but the gravity of what you needed to do weighed on you.)

“It’s so happy, here, isn’t it? I knew what I was doing when I designed this place.” You could hear him leaning back in his chair with a happy sigh. “It took me a long while to master the lighting. They’re designed to evoke a complex set of emotions within the human mind …”

You got up and, wordlessly, stepped out of the Room. You were hoping he wouldn’t notice. It would be much easier for the both of you if he didn’t. You wrapped your arms around yourself, as if warding off some chill. Goosebumps rose up at the thought of all those stairs. No matter what your current thoughts toward heights were, you couldn’t deny that they were really high up. 

Each step spelled your doom. With each and every stair, another tear began welling up in your eyes. You knew you had to do this, of course, but that didn’t make it any easier. You were scared. For the Narrator, for what it meant for his story, and maybe a little for yourself.

As you looked down the edge of the gap, you realized you couldn’t do this. The Narrator was so happy. How would he feel when he saw your … your …

You broke down into guttural sobs, clamping a hand over your mouth as you flumped to the floor. You curled up into the fetal position, letting your other hand dangle over the edge.

“Wha—oh dear. This is more serious than I had imagined. I simply cannot stand by idly any longer.” The Narrator’s voice was grave. “I’m going to come to you.” And then, quietly, “I have been a blind fool.” 

The large gate sprung up where the gap was and a few moments later, the Narrator was on the step beneath you. He rested his palm on the curve of your shoulder, gently drumming his fingers. 

“Don’t ask me why,” you gasped out. 

You couldn’t see his face, but you culd tell that he was frowning thoughtfully. “I wasn’t. I was going to say that, while I always offer my characters an out, I’m glad you didn’t take mine.”

Somehow, this made you cry more. You lifted yourself from the fetal position to crash into his arms, and somehow, you were in Stanley’s apartment.

“I didn’t have time to make another couch,” he said, gently settling the both of you onto his couch. He moved your head onto his lap and you could have wept at how safe you felt in his gentle touch. “Speak to me.”

“I’ve been feeling bad, lately,” you mumbled. “But I couldn’t make you feel bad, so.” You lifted a hand weakly, having exhausted yourself with your crying. You wanted to sleep for a million years; sapped of all your energy, that was all you could say. 

He gave a hum. “I … I don’t know what to say. I haven’t ever had a character—no, a boyfriend—who has gone through the same struggles as you do. There’s Stanley, of course, but he’s not you.”

“I’m sorry.”

Looking up, you could see his face was conflicted. “As am I,” he settled on. “How shall I help you?”

You shrugged. 

“Mm. Perhaps the bucket may help. I’l add in some more pillows perhaps; lessen the falls in some way.”

“You don’t need to change your story for me.”

“I don’t need to!— how preposterous. I would change the very fabric of my being for you.” He leaned over to press a gentle kiss to your temple, his hair tickling your cheek. “We’ll make it work,” he said. 

“I dunno if we can.”

“It will be hard,” he said, continuing on as if he hadn’t heard you. “But you have survived thus far. You are an exemplar for your species.”

“Exemplar? I’m all fucked up inside.”

“Perhaps you are. Yet despite this, you have been one of the best characters and men I have ever had the pleasure of interacting with. Your mind is unparalleled.” He cleared his throat a little. With embarrassment, he added: “the story we have written together is … perhaps … better than …”

You cut him off. “Do you really mean that?” “Yes.” Then, more gently than you have ever heard him: “I don’t have all the answers. But our story did not end today, and for that, I am grateful.” 

You simply sighed, hoping he would understand that you felt the same way. Based on the way his grip on your hand tightened, you hoped he did.

#the blue parable #tw suicide #suicidal ideation #tsp #the stanley parable #tsp the narrator #the narrator tsp #the narrator x you #the narrator x reader #the narrator/reader #the narrator/you #reader x the narrator #you x the narrator #reader/the narrator

[tsp-invisible-narrator]

O.G Stanley it's quite a shame that nobody will get to see what kind of comedies you can write if you quit being narrator after your first parable. Do you think people would be happy with the best authors gave up after one story; Oscar Wilde, Douglas Adams and our old narrator. I think he will explain it best when it's time.

"Well, I could write a few short stories when everything is done... I have to admit that writing is kinda fun, heh..." Invis rubs the back of his head. His Stanley looks scared. Invis notices that. "Hey, how come you always look horrified when I talk about wanting to stop as a narrator? Are you misinterpreting my mood or is there more to it?"

His Stanley doesn't answer.

#ask #text

[thelovelybitten]

vera's first watch of south park - season one

okay since stendy has taken over my life, I wanted to watch all 26 seasons of south park just for fun (and get more depth on the characters), so here's a little blurb on how season 1 went.

EPISODE 1:

oh my god the first episode is the fucking anal probe... the one clip I saw on tiktok disturbed me a little but that's the vulgarity of it all

KICK THE BABY

YOU'RE TELLING ME SINCE THE FIRST EPISODE STENDY WAS MENTIONED ?!?!?@?#??#! THE LITTLE LOVEY DOVEY STAN IS IN THE FIRST EPISODE ?????? DECEASED

STAN THROWS UP WHEN HE SEES HER WHAT this is new knowledge to ME it's so gross yet so cute LMAO

wendy giving him the note and the meeting at the pond... KYLE WAS IN HIS ANGRY ARC

my trio doing the damn thing stendyle FOREVER !!

"when do I get to make sweet love?" STAN RELAXXXX

kyle popping the FUCK OFF at the aliens as he should

I'm crying at stendy he vomits on her and her immediate reaction is "LOOK, A FRENCH FRY?" please they are so CUTE

EPISODE 2:

OH WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE IT'S THE EPISODE WHERE WENDY AND CARTMAN FIGHT FOR THE WINNER OF THE PAPER WRITING CONTEST

it's the way I know exactly what kenny is talking abt PLEASE

"hey, stop defending your little girlfriend for writing about some stupid fish" SO THEY'RE DATING NOW??????? stendy has been canon since the beginning?!@?!?#?$ HOW ARE THEY NOT POPULAR IN THE FANDOM

STAN DEFENDING WENDY <3

CLYDE AND BEBE OMG THEY ARE SO CUTE GSJSKBKG

uhm... i don't know how to feel abt this racist stuff, wouldn't fly in this modern-day timeline it's uncomfortable to watch tbh. Will have to get used to it

miss wendy GIRL DON'T GET CAUGHT

omg the TikTok MEME THAT MADE ME FALL IN LOVE W THEM GDNGKJNSNGJKGNKNK

the quote for my otp tag: I can't do it alone

stan in his simp era as HE SHOULD

stan and wendy in their duo arc they slayed

DOES KENNY GET KILLED IN EVERY EPISODE ???? that makes me sad

EPISODE 3:

it's stan being soft with animals for me <3 he's so SWEET my fave boy

kenny chugging gasoline???? my unhinged son

kenny popping AWF killing things

stan wanting to be a man like kenny BABY BOY YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE SBGKJBS

so they do kill kenny in every episode.... weird dunk

chef making me CRINGE PLEASE

stan killing Scuzzlebutt iconic

EPISODE 4:

SPARKY is STAN'S DOG SJNKGSKNSK SO CUTE

wait is this is where the hc of stan being the high school quarterback comes from ??? so iconic

omg INFLATE STAN'S EGO PLEASE very king shit of him

as a bisexual... this is a little much :l

sensitive but i'll get over it

kyle filling for stan so style of them

why are Y'ALL KILLIN KENNY I hate it here

stan slowly becoming an ALLY

stan carrying the show as he fucking should that's my mf son right there

EPISODE 5:

not STAN GETTING BEAT BY SHELLY??? Is that her name??? Idk his big sister i don’t want a HAIR on his head touched

Kyle baby boy i love you but WHERE THE FUCK DID U GET AN ELEPHANT

Oh so Kyle’s the smartest kid at school ugh i love my brainiac son u EAT THESE BITCHES upppppp

Mr. Garrison common L

Shelly is AWFUL OMG

I love how stan gets launched and Kyle is just. Hey bestie we going to do this shit u better come

Cartman & fluffy is very wholesome (very rare that i like cartman, don’t count on it)

DON’T POKE STAN

Oh y’all be cloning stan ihy

Oh my god u can’t be serious is this actually gonna happen SKBSBGJS

Elton John ate

Mutant!Stan is a freak of nature :/

WHEN KENNY WENT IN THE MICROWAVE I WHEEZED HE’S SO CUTE LMAOO

Shelly redeemed herself for half a second and now she��s back on my hit list of “characters i cannot trust with Stanley Marsh”

EPISODE 6:

Oh lord we in for a wild one aren’t we

Not Stan’s grandpa wanting to unalive :(

KYLE AND IKE MY FAVOURITE SILBLINGSSSSS they’re so cute watching tv

I'm w kyle's mom on this, TF is terrance & Philip it's LAME

kyle's mom snitching kinda iconic tho

KENNY NOT THE EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA pls

EYE. STAN pls not this question

KYLE DON'T FEED THIS IDEA NGJKSNGSLGD

EPISODE 7:

kenny in his zombie era

OMG STAN AS RAGGEDY ANNE OMG

omg wendy as chewbacca

not wendy roasting stan pls they're chaotic

common cartman L with his costume

kenny falling to pieces fdsjngnsdkgjks

kyle being the solar system HOW WHOLESOME

wenSLAY AS THE WINNER AS SHE SHOULD

NOT THEM ALL SHAMING STAN

stendy's first fight :((((((((

CLYDE DON'T EAT BEBE

stan eating cartman up that's my fucking son

wendy being a good samaritan

shit stendy fight part two

NO WENDY GETS ZOMBIEFIED FJNDKJNFSDKNSK

is this a reference to the triple K ??? wtf this is fucked

chef W this ep pls kick cartman's ass

candy >>>>> everything else

period Michael Jackson ref

NO DON'T KILL WENDY STANLEY FUCKING DON'T YOU LOVE HER

"don't worry babe, everything is gonna be okay" KILL ME SJKBGJBKGSBK THEY ARE SO CUTE

stan this does not excuse u for wanting wendy to die tho... not proud of u

EPISODE 8:

omg I saw a bit of this on tiktok too

tHE AMOUNT OF CHESSY POOFS RELAX

kyle smelling kenny jbwejgbjkgbjkg please

wendy <3 my angel baby cake eat cartman up

the fuck did I just watch... whack ass turkeys

starvin' marvin ??? tf

'bad starvin' marvin THAT'S A BAD STARVIN' MARVIN'

OMG NOT THEM GRABBING CARTMAN DSBSDGBKJGDSBDSBK so slay marvin so slay

cartman finding the motherload of snacks alr I'll give the W

kenny doesn't deserve this shit save my mf son

EPISODE 9:

omg is this a CHRISTMAS SPECIAL?!?!??!?! OMG SO CUTE

stan IN HIS NARRATOR ARC

WENDY AS VIRGIN MARY BNJFJKFDNJDNJ I'M DEAD

KYLE DOING THE DAMN THING

KENNY THE ANGEL <33333333

omg stan and wendy catching snowflakes on their tongues :')))))) that's wholesome as FUCK

kyle's musical number !!!!!! where's the album sir ??? the vocals are FIRE

NO NOT IKE ON FIRE

MR.HANKEY IS A PIECE OF LITERAL SHIT....

CARTMAN FINDING A VIBRATOR... PLS

this is where ‘Kyle’s mom’s a bitch’ originates ?? not gonna lie cartman ate that tbh

MR MACKEY <3 m’kay man reigns supreme

not y’all setting up Kenny :/

oh he’s okay thank god

KENNY SPINNING AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PLAY DFNJNJDVFKVDJFKNKNJ HE IS BABIE

stendy in three frames it must be so

something…feels…unfinished…. Y’all rly gonna kill my son before the end of the episode FUCK YALL FR

I manifested Kenny not dying period

EPISODE 10:

it’s cartman’s bday ok this is gonna be FUCKING WHACK

Damien a spawn of Satan fr

Kenny the platypus ! <3

not satan being real :/

Mr mackey slayage AGAIN <3

common cartman L DON'T TOUCH MY SON KYLE JSJKGKJBKJSG

EPISODE 11:

god my throat hurts so bad KMS

STENDY INTERACTION I'M WINNING

wendy being wholesome and cartman being an ass... weird dunk

stan at least being supportive

OMG WAIT THIS IS THE EP WHERE WENDY IS IN HER PSYCHO ERA BC STAN IS A SIMP :'(

omg the main four are in their simp era

NOT STAN PUKING THE BETRAYAL

wendy :((((( stan is DELUSIONAL DW DW

stanley u SHUT UR DAMN MOUTH

wendy being sad is NOT MY FAVE

I love wendy in her jealous era flame this bitch

NO NOT THE STENDY FLASHBACKS GDJBBJKHDGBJKGDBJKDHBJK KMS

wait they are all of him vomiting LMAOOOOO

Wendy crying is my weakness

GOD DAMN IT i knew SHE WOULD ASK STAN TO DO SOMETHING FOR HER FUCKING BITCHHHH

“DON’T FUCK WITH ME.” WENSLAY AS USUAL. When is she not an icon

Gives miss Ellen a dead animal i love her so much

Jesus Stan being an idiot >:( i love my son but he’s stupid

OMG WENDY IS SO TRUE FOR HER

WAIT MISS ELLEN IS A LESBIAN OKAY A SLAY

Stan…. Ur not a lesbian pls

The BIRKENSTOCKS NDFSNKSFK

Mr.garrison got RIZZ

Bebe & Wendy my fave duo they besties for the resties

WENDY IN HER SANDRA DEE ARC I REPEAT WENDY IS IN HER SANDRA DEE ARC

I am obsessed w this omg

NO NOT MISS ELLEN COMING IN THE SAME OUTFIT this is CRUEL

Bro miss Ellen on my hit list she rizzing up my son and ruining my ship FUCK AWF

Um ???? WE JUST NOT GONNA TALK ABT WENDY’S GMA UNALIVING???? SO TRAUMATIZING FOR LIL WENDY

NO WENDY DON’T GIVE UPPPP

Wendy STOP IT I’M SOBBING i love how selfless she is but it’s also a con

???? NOT THE IRAQI AFTER MISS ELLEN

Stendy reigns again period

WENDY AND BEBE SLAYED

Aw my psycho children i love them <3

EPISODE 12:

KYLE GETTING THE CLOUT as he should <3

Barbra get ur hands off Kyle and don’t yell at stan >:(

Not cartman breaking into kyle’s house ur weird

Lol them just hanging there… weird

The Japanese i love it

Barbra destroying the town ew

Literally wtf is this ep

I’m very lost

Ike AT THE END FDDJJCNDJDJ

EPISODE 13?:

CARTMAN’S TEA PARTY ok this is wholesome

Cartman just wants to know who his dad is aw :’( big relate

My fave kids putting their video of cartman on AFV sjdsncdj

GO KART KENNY :’(

WAIT ONLY THIRTEEN EPS? WERK IG

I made it boys woo thanks for reading this far have a cookie

#faves: south park #viv watches #otp: i cant do it alone #first season a 7/10 i would say #South Park #anyways S2 S2

[mrsrcbinscn]

Playlist for Reba! @straythisway

A playlist for Reba trying to make it in Nashville

I. If Only You Played Football As Well As You Play Girls - Maggie Antone

If only you played football as well as you play girls You may not be on the bench Thinking you're the only one in this world

It's giving...a song she'd maybe write in high school.

II. 979 - Ryann Elise

I'm headed for the city full of neon lights, I gotta chase that dream

She left her small town for the city!

III. New Strings - Miranda Lambert

And I'll grab the wheel and I'll point it west Pack the good and leave the rest I'll drive until I find the missing piece

It's giving lil Reba going to the city to have a music career!

IV. Cheap Seats - Emily Scott Robinson

Half way through a busy night I get a song idea to write And I slip out back to get the chorus down Now table twenty-eight is complainin' about the wait And my manager just shakes his head and frowns

For when she's working shitty server jobs that she hates just becaise she needs to pay rent while really she just wants to be an #artist

V. What Else Can She Do - Kaitlin Butts

She left the country with big city dreams running wild in her mind Looking for love or adventure or anything else she could find But her small town pretty didn't play in the city too well And the life that she thought would be heaven now feels more like hell

For when she's having second and third thoughts about leaving home for the city! It's hard out here!

VI. Stay In Your Lane - Bronson Diamond and Greta Stanley

Ꮃe were talkin' Ƴou were talkin' so loud Ⲓ could barely hear the band

Ꮃe were drinkin' Ƴou were drinkin' so fast Ⲓ'm surprised you could even stand

It's giving a song Reba would've written for the Singin' Strays and sung with the male vocalist! It's a witty duet, 10/10 song!

VII. This Town Gets Around - Margo Price

Now the very first manager I ever had He was old enough he could have been my dad He took me out for drinks and talked a big talk He said, "darling sign on the dotted line You know, "kiss my cheek and drink this wine But if you walk on me, then you can just walk

It's about sexism in the industry, how hard it is to be a woman, to not be a nepo-baby, it's quality content

VIII. Letters on the Marquee - Vincent Neil Emerson

Well they ran out of letters on the marquee They can't spell my name

When you're a newcomer and the least important name, catch them spelling it R3ba Str@y on the marquee, for real :/

IX. Fly On The Wall - Jake Worthington and Lauren Watkins

I wanna be a fly on the wall So I could learn how to not run you off And I wanna see how she fits in your arms Does she sleep in the bed that used to be ours? Oh, do you tell her that you love her? When you say it, do you mean it? Or do you treat her like you treated me? Like a fly on the wall

This is another great duet song that could've been one of hers! But also wow, WAS she dating her fellow singer of the band? Who knows :eyesemoji: so it this a good song that's made her money or her story lol

X. Ten Year Town - Hailey Whitters

I'm twelve years into a ten year town I'm too far in to turn around Too old to go back to school Won't be much longer, I'll be old news I thought I'd be a big star now I'm twelve years into a ten year town

For fifteen minutes of fame Somebody says your name on the TV Or back of a CD Waitin' tables another month Waitin' on that break to come All it's ever done is break my heart

Nashville may be known as Music City to most, but to those in the music industry, it's the "10-Year Town." While overnight successes can happen, for most creatives, it's a slow and steady climb if you climb at all — and in Nashville specifically, the story often goes that it takes a decade before catching that big break, but much longer than that, you're kinda SOL, you're old news.

#swynrptask

[yutafrita]

🥥 anon here, hi!! I hope you're doing great!!

I plan to start writing again and probably do some crochet projects this summer- and also go out of course!! Can't wait for the Barbie movie!!

And OMG great minds think alike!! All your head cannons were like mine- I love it.

Doyoung being Dwight and Taeyong being Micheal is funny, cuz they bicker but in the end they are really good friends.

Mark is definitely a Pam, they have the same cute awkward and sweet energy😭, and with Jim— I think Yuta would fit it best too!!

Johnny being Darryl is funny because if you take into context how Micheal sometimes fears Darryl it kinda makes sense. He is also really funny and quite chill— so perfect match.

Taeil being Stanley is so funny😭, unbothered and chill but not afraid to side eye the camera or give his usual 😐.

Haechan being Kelly also makes a lot of sense, and with Pam being Mark— it just makes it better. Ryan being Jaehyun just makes perfect sense, cuz Jaehyun’s the perfect amount of nonchalant and unbothered— along with the right amount of neo-crazy.

Lastly with Jungwoo I’m torn, he reminds me of Erin most of the time but when you mentioned Creed it strangely also made so much sense. He would definitely just drop something about his life with no hesitation and he is also very witty and funny😭

Creed is literally my favorite character in The Office, he keeps me cracking up all the time.

But those are my takes!! Also do you have any tips for someone getting back into writing ??

Hehe great minds do think alike! Creed is my fave character too!!! He has the humor i typically most lean towards. I can sooo see Jungwoo as Erin in the same way that both characters will just drop something random about their life and keep going. I love Erin too but I also just love her actress honestly!

I love crotcheting 🥹I’m in the process of making a color block cardigan actually. The Barbie movie looks good I can’t for it to come out! I just saw the Spider-Man movie and wanna see it again- it’s honestly a perfect film.

Writing tips!! What I did is basically just throw whatever I was thinking down onto paper. I have a google doc entitled just “spit wall” where I just spit out whatever little scene I was thinking about. This helped me reinvigorate just a passion for writing. While I was in my undergrad it was hard for me to find a love for writing, so after graduation is when I got to write for fun again. Don’t think it worry about posting at first, just spit stuff out. Even if you can’t write out a whole scene, I’ll sometimes go into more depth on my planning and character sheets- it makes me end up getting even more excited to write!

Whatever it is that works best for you, just make sure you’re writing for you! :)

#🥥 anon

[sorryjustafangirl]

what home is

a/n: this is my submission for @antoineroussel 's summer fic exchange 2k21! thank you for organizing this all demi. i recieved @timstuetzle and i am so excited to finally share this! im sorry it's so late but i had a lot of fun writing for Tim and i hope i did him justice! i made this a gender neutral reader again, so please enjoy my take on some friends to enemies to lovers :)

pairing: tim stützle x reader

word count: 18k+ (holey moley)

warnings: some angst, set in no covid-universe, a few swears, an odd timeline

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and real person fiction if you don’t like that, please don’t read! the banner is made by me, with photos found from pinterest and the transparent made by @art-and-the-hockeys (thank you!!!)

The start of the season was your favourite. The chill of the rink, the sound of skate edges on the ice, the smell of skate sharpening- it was all so familiar. As an analyst, the start was the best. There were new lineups, new plays, and a chance to try new things. Considering this was your first year as a real analyst, not just checking over others' work, you were excited. You got to actually help to build a Stanley Cup winning team.

What you didn’t love was how everyone seemed to lose their heads and decide to run around the arena. You’d been looking for the coach of the Ottawa Senators for the past twenty minutes. You’d think the man would be in his office the first day back, but no. He decides to take a stroll to who-knows-where and leaves you to follow invisible breadcrumbs.

Eventually, you found yourself on one of the lower levels. You continued down the hallway, entering an open space with concrete floors. The bustle of the new season was in full swing as you swerved between various people working like gears in a machine. You tried to do your best to stay out of other people’s way but you still ended up walking into a hard surface.

“Oof!” Shit. Hard surfaces don’t usually talk. You looked up at what you ran into and saw two men staring at you. Both were wearing Senators hoodies but one was a taller blond and the other a slightly shorter brunet. The brunet has a backwards snapback on but that wasn't what made you stop in your tracks. It was his eyes. They were soft and welcoming, something like a home cooked meal, but they had a glint of adventure in them.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I wasn’t really looking where I was going. I am so sorry.” You apologized to the blond you ran into.

“Hey, all good. I’m-”

“Number 7.” You turned toward the brunet. “And...number 18, right?” When they both gave you a weird look, you shrugged. “I’m an analyst here so, uh, you’re just numbers to me.”

“Okay, ouch but you are the reason we’re going to be winning more games this season, so I'll give it to you. I’m Brady, and this is Jimmy.” The blond gestured to himself first, before gesturing beside him.

“It’s Tim, actually.”

You introduced yourself to the two players, before looking around the hallways. “Um, would either of you happen to know where the coach is? I can’t find him,” You held up the file folders in your hands. “I’ve got new numbers for him.”

“Oh yeah he’s probably close to the ice, we’ll show you.” Brady started down a hallway, both you and Tim falling in stride behind him. “So Numbers-”

“-Y/n-” You glared at Brady for the nickname, rolling your eyes as he continued on. From your peripheral vision, you saw the corners of Tim's mouth turn up.

“-If you don’t mind me saying….either you look really good for your age, or you aren’t old enough to be working here,” He continued, giving a glance your way.

You looked down at your shoes and gave a sigh. “I get that a lot, and I am young-er than my colleagues but I assure you, I am qualified to work for this organization.”

“Wasn’t doubting that, just seeing how much I get to tease ya. Jimmy’s the rookie,” He elbowed him and Tim tried to swerve around it, only to bump into a stack of pylons. Brady and you shared a grin at his expense. “So he gets all the teasing. Same for the numbers people. You’re the rookie.” He shrugged

“Well, I’m not actually a rookie anymore. This is my second year here,” You mentioned, looking towards the two guys. Brady looked impressed whereas Tim’s eyes went large and his jaw slack a little.

“How?” He asked, and you laughed. The three of you turned a corner, and you walked slightly faster to talk.

“I graduated high school pretty early. And then took my statistics undergrad at the University of Ottawa. I minored in sports studies and I met your GM at a conference for the department. When he found out I was in Ottawa alone, he kinda took me under his wing, checked in every now and again. When I graduated two years ago, he offered me an analyst position and I was lucky enough to land it. I love working here, even if I’m way younger than everyone else. Last year, I stayed in my office a lot, double checking people’s work but this year, they gave me more responsibility. I’m excited for the challenge.”

“You are going to be great.” Tim said, meeting your eyes, his gaze showing that his comment was genuine. You ducked away from his gaze but muttered a ‘thanks’. The three of you rounded another corner, Brady ducking out to talk to a reporter, but Tim said he’d help you find the coach.

You settled into a comfortable silence as you walked beside each other through the chilled hallways. He abruptly took a left turn, cutting you off and causing you to bump into him. You immediately apologized, this being the second time today you’d run into a hockey player.

“‘S my fault, I’m still getting used to the new arena,” He said, a sheepish smile appearing on his face. He nodded his head down the hallway, as a silent ‘after you’ and you started walking. As you got further down, you realized Tim walked you out to the bench. The light became brighter, the air a little crisper, and the floor turned from a concrete grey to a bright red. Your eyes wandered up, admiring the view from down here. You’d be truthful earlier, you’d only ever visited your office. But from down here, you could see everything- the thousands of seats, the banners hanging from the ceiling, the crystal white ice. You stood close to the wall, as if to try to intimidate a fly on a wall, seeing everything as if you weren’t there. You could feel Tim could up from behind you, letting you take it all in for the first time.

“That’s Coach,” He leaned closer to you as he pointed across the ice towards someone in a tracksuit. You nodded and although Tim dropped his hand, he stayed close to you. The coach eventually noticed the two of you and started to skate over to the bench. Tim cleared his throat and you looked at him.

“I got to- I have to go now, but, um, I’ll see you around?” You nodded to his question, a soft smile on your lips. He rocked back and forth on his heels, as if he knew he had to leave but he kept getting pulled towards you. “Good luck with the season.”

“Good luck with yours too.” At that he turned away from you, and you turned to the coach, pulling out your file folder to talk with him.

***

A week or two later and the start of the season was upon the Canadian Tire Centre. The home opener was in a few days and your week had been hectic, trying to get notes from practices and implement what you saw into your analysis. After a morning full of spreadsheets, you decided to take your lunch break in your sanctuary. Last year, the arena felt too big to stick around in on your lunch break. So you had headed outside, where you discovered a small hiking trail about a ten minute drive from work. It quickly became a place where you went whenever you needed to clear your head. And after the morning you had, it was the perfect place to go, so you hopped in your car and started towards it.

At the top of the hill, you put the car in park, grabbed your lunch bag and started towards your spot. It was past the picnic tables that had a nice view of the suburbs, but it wasn't secluded. Your spot was off the beaten path, but there was a small ledge with a perfect view of the arena, highway, and surrounding green spaces. You turn the corner, ducking under a tree branch, ready to exhale the heck of the morning you had.

But there was already someone sitting in your spot. Their head was down, but you recognized the logo and number 18 on their hoodie. Cautiously, you approached him.

“18...Is it okay if I sit here?” You asked, and his head shot up. He shot you a small smile and quick nod. You sat down, placing your bag in front of you, taking out a granola bar.

“You can call me Tim, you know. That is my name,” You gave him a shy smile and you could feel your cheeks heat up at his comment.

“I didn’t think anyone knew about this place, Tim,” You mentioned quietly. It felt weird, to be honest, to be sharing your spot with someone, but it didn’t feel like he was intruding.

“My city in Germany has a lot of parks. There’s a forest near my house where I’d go when I needed a break. This is the closest I could find near the rink. I hope you don’t mind?”

“Just don’t go telling the whole team about our place,” you winked at him and took a bite of your snack.

“I can keep a secret, don’t worry.” He laughed lightly and sent you a smile.

“I don’t know if you remember me but-”

“You’re the analyst, you graduated super early right? Y/n, yeah?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” You smiled at him. “So, how are you liking Ottawa?”

“It’s alright, I haven’t seen very much of it. The ice is very good. My house is nice.” He shrugged and you gaped at him.

“That’s all you’ve seen? So you haven’t been to Parliament Hill or ByWard market or…?” you trailed off when you saw him biting his bottom lip and slowly shaking his head. “Well, you are missing out, you should go see the city sometime.”

“Do you think you could show me around? You seem to know all the best places,” He offered. You met his eyes and nodded. He dug his phone out of his pocket, passing it over to you. You raised your eyebrows at the gesture but he just pushed his phone closer to you. Silently, you imputed your number, placing a small graph emoji beside your contact name. You handed it back to him and a small smirk graced his face when he saw the emoji, before he pursed his lips at the device. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Sorry, it’s all good. Thank you. It’s- I have to go back now, but I’ll text you, yeah?” You nodded as he handed back your phone. He walked towards the parking lot, but turned around to wave at you before he disappeared around the bend.

Later that day as you sat in the stands, a clipboard and pen in your hands, you got a text from an unknown number.

Hi

It's 18 :)

You chuckled at his use of his number and texted him back.

i thought you said i could call you tim? :(

also it’s practice?? how are you on your phone?

It starts in a couple minutes

your teammates are already on the ice

Spying on me already??

it’s literally my job to watch you practice

Guess I'll see you in the stands then :)

Oh and I'm free this weekend for that showing of the city, team bonding’s on friday

i’ll check my schedule and get back to you

now get out on the ice or you’re going to be late :)

***

You had checked your schedule, and agreed to meet that Saturday. You said you’d pick him up since you knew more of the city. You didn't want to be late so you arrived five minutes early in front of Tim's place. He walked out in his signature backwards snapback, some curls poking out the front, and a monochromatic beige outfit. Waving animatedly at you, he jogged to the car, his ever present smile on his face.

The twenty minutes ride into the city was quiet yet comfortable. A few words were exchanged about how each other’s day was so far but nothing groundbreaking. The low hum of the engine filled the silence as you drove into the city.

After parking in a Superstore (‘Free parking in downtown Ottawa is hard to come by, Tim. We’re parking in the grocery store parking lot’) and walking a few blocks, you come to the far end of the market. Lined with local businesses and brick streets, it felt homey. Tim smiled as it reminded him of back home.

“So, what are we going to see first? Your school?” He asked as the two of you walked along the streets. You laughed and shook your head.

“Pfft no. It isn’t all that interesting. I figured we’d see some of my favourite places, if that’s okay?” He assured you it was and the two of you continued through the streets, Tim with his head down as you passed people. He wasn't famous just yet, but in Canada you find hockey fans at every corner. Soon, you arrived in a small plaza with coloured picnic tables and muskoka chairs.

“Ta-da!” You gestured to the large block letters that spelled ‘Ottawa’ in the middle of the space. “It’s not much, but you’ve got to be a tourist in your own city at least once right?” He laughed along with you and you got out your phone, ready to take a picture of him so he could send it to his parents. You thought he would want a picture of him but he was quick to insist you had to be in the picture as well.

“I’m sorry, but would you mind taking a picture of us?” You asked one of the girls who were taking turns with the Ottawa sign.

“Oh sure!” You stood beside him, between the two ‘T’s in Ottawa, his arm slung over your shoulders. You smiled and looked up at Tim to see him smiling as well- and not one of those classic boy coy half smiles, a genuine one. She took a few landscape and a few portrait ones before handing your phone back. “You two are such a cute couple!”

Before you could correct the girl, Tim answered for you. “We’re just friends actually.” She apologized profusely before rejoining her group. You shuffled your feet as an awkward silence overcame you for the first time since you’d met. Your body shivered and you promptly changed the subject.

“Hey, you hungry?” He shrugged and nodded. You nodded and led him away from the sign, through a few back alleys lined with a few merchants, home artists and such. You entered a building, bustling with people. It was long and narrow, with brick flooring and merchants on either side of the middle. There were lots of people, ranging from people doing their weekly grocery shopping to tourists looking for souvenirs. You weaved between strollers and friend groups, Tim grabbing your hand to avoid getting lost. He kept his head low, hoping it would disguise him enough. This day was about you and him, not you, him and the hockey world. Eventually, the two of you exited the indoor market and came to a small opening. Instead of staying in the opening, you turned left, tugging Tim across the street to two small shacks, one red and one blue. The red one had a classic fairytale vibe to it, with beige wainscotting, red painted window frames, and topped with a white and light brown canopy over the window. Underneath the canopy, there was a string of small Canadian flags.

“Do you trust me?” He arched one of his eyebrows but nodded. “I’ll be right back.” Confused, Tim stood there as you walked up the window, spending no time looking at the menu as you ordered. He looked above the shack to see in fancy lettering the word BeaverTails. When you came back, you were holding two paper containers and had a smile on your face. He looked at the sign and then back to the bags in your hands.

“A beaver’s… tail?” You laughed at him and handed him his BeaverTail.

“It’s not actually a beaver’s tail. It’s just a fried pastry that looks like one. They come in lots of flavours but I got you the best one, cinnamon sugar.” You could tell he was hesitant but bit into his and you took a bite of your own.

Almost instantly, he groaned. “Do you take every guy here? Wow. Oh my god,” He got cinnamon smeared over his chin and you laughed as he tried to wipe it off while holding his pastry.

“Hilarious Tim, but I’ll have you know you’re like my only friend here. So… no I don’t take anyone here.” He scoffed and you raised your eyebrows.

“You’re joking. How do you not have other friends? You’re great,”

“I started university as a 16 year math major. It’s not a surprise people didn’t want to talk to me. But it’s okay. I’m used to it by now.”

“Don’t you have people from home come and visit?”

You scoffed. “I don’t really get along with my mum. We moved around a lot when I was younger and I always sorta resented her for not seeing how it affected me. And then, when I got accepted to school out here, she sold the house and started travelling. Last I talked to her, she was in Tahiti.” He raised his eyebrows.

“What about your dad? Or brothers or sisters?” You swallowed your piece of BeaverTail before answering him.

“I have an older sister, Dani. But she’s eight years older than me, so we're not the closest. She checks in every week or so because she knows my mum doesn't. She’s never come out to visit though, she runs her own business back in Seattle.”

“It must be nice to have someone though. Especially when you were growing up. What about your dad?”

“I don’t- I don’t talk about my dad.” You picked at the pastry before changing the topic. “C’mon, you have to see this place.” You gestured to a side street and the two of you made your way towards your favourite destination. You exited beside a taller building and you pressed the button to allow the two of you to cross the street. As you were waiting for the light to turn, you turned to Tim.

“So, I’m guessing you don’t have any siblings then?”

“No, but the guys at the rink were like my brothers so it wasn’t bad.” The light turned red, and the ‘walk’ light turned on. You made your way across, staying close to each other as people walked both ways.

“Hockey tends to do that,”

“Is that why you picked to work in hockey?”

You glared at him as you made it across the street. “That’s personal.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we? Friends share personal stuff.”

“That’s… it’s just different.” You shook your head and lowered the volume of your voice. “Besides, we’re here.” The two of you had stopped in front of some shallow steps that led to a tall archway, with black statues underneath and on top of the arch. It had some engravings on it, both small and large letters. From where they were standing, Tim could make out some numbers, but not well enough to understand the significance. Behind the monument and slightly to the right was the green tipped roof and gothic architecture of the Parliament building.

“What is this place?” He tilted his head as he looked at the arch in the middle of the square. To him, it wasn’t anything special, perhaps another statue of one of the colonizers of the country.

“It’s Canada’s war memorial.” You whispered, and he nodded, clasping his hands in front of his body and lowering his head. “When I was going to school, I’d come here at least once a week.”

His head stayed where it was but he raised his eyes to meet yours. “Why?”

“I know it’s not exactly everyone’s favourite place...because I know so many people died for the country, but for me, it’s a place of silence. Of reflection. It reminds me to be grateful for everything I have. Some days school would be really bad, so this place was perfect to sit and remember that life isn’t bad at all. Not when I was in a safe country, not when I had an education, not when I had a warm house to go back to.”

He nodded. “That seems...perfect. Some days are too loud, there’s too many people saying stuff. I get that.” His voice was quiet as well, as he lifted his head to focus on the stonework and engravings. The two of you stood in silence in front of the memorial for a few minutes more before you tugged on his arm.

“See that building?” You leaned in close to him, your finger extending to point at a building in the distance, a little taller than the ones around it. “That’s the university’s mathematics and physics department. I had most of my classes in that building.” He nodded, leaning in closer to you, your heads almost touching. You lowered your hand and nodded with your head towards the way you came.

“C’mon, we’re not done yet. You’ve got to see the Parliament building.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and headed left towards it. You quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him right. “I’m the tour guide, remember? Trust me, there’s a better view.” You dropped his hand as he started to walk in time with you but you had to shove it in your pocket to replace the heat his hands gave you.

A quick ten minutes walk later and you stood atop a hill overlooking the river. It was a large park with benches and an eccentric art installation in the corner. You walked close to the peak of the hill and stopped, breathing in the fresh air.

“There is Canada’s capital building. It’s nicer to see it from here than from the front where there’s a bunch of tourists. Besides, from here, you get to see more of the architecture.” The building was across the river, its massiveness more pronounced from your viewpoint. There was a dome nearest the river that was covered in flying buttresses, each support beam having intricate details that stood out. The clock tower and green tinted roof completed the gothic look.

“This view is better. Quieter. It reminds me more of home,” You bump your shoulder against his lightly.

“Glad you like it.” The two of you stood in silence until Tim shivered, at which case you decided you should start heading back. If the hockey player was cold, it was cold enough for you too.

The walk and drive back was uneventful, aside from the two of you passing jokes back and forth. When it came to drop him off, he unbuckled his seatbelt but didn’t make an effort to leave the vehicle.

“How much for our snack? I’ll pay you back,”

You waved him off. “It was my treat, don’t worry about it.” He pursed his lips, then shook it. He pulled out his phone from his pocket. A few seconds later, your phone dinged. You glared at him as you opened the text to see an e-transfer. Before you could protest, he cut you off.

“You never said I couldn’t pay for your gas," He laughed, and despite your annoyance at the loophole, you found yourself laughing along with him. He had that effect on you; he seemed to be able to ease any tension you held. “I had a good time today. Maybe we could meet again sometime?”

“I’d like that. I’ll see you at the rink?” He nodded before getting out of your car, waving like he did that morning as you drove off to your place. When you arrived home, you saw a new text from him.

Can you send those pictures you took today?

You tried to suppress a smile, sending them over to which he responded with a ‘Thank youuuu’. You set your phone on your nightstand and turned off the light. Despite your efforts, you fell asleep with a smile on your face from a perfect day with a great person.

***

“Hey, Numbers!” You stopped in your tracks and turned around to see Brady sticking his head out of the dressing room. He had taken a liking to calling you that, especially as you had started hanging around the house more. It was nice, movie nights and sometimes you’d take a pre-game nap with Tim, you had even stayed for lunch at Tim’s request. At this point, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Brady to shout the nickname from anywhere. Practice had ended and you had given your notes to the coach about what to focus on for the Toronto game. “You didn’t happen to see Jimmy, did you?” When you shook your head, his face scrunched into a small frown.

“Where’d he go? Didn’t media like just end?”

He shrugged. “He didn’t even bother to change from media, he just stalked out. He didn’t say anything to any of the guys, so I thought you might’ve seen him.”

“I’ll keep a lookout for him,” You told Brady before he returned to finish dressing and you returned to your office. But even after you’d settled back into your work, there was a feeling in your stomach you couldn’t quite place. Sending a quick text off to Tim, asking where he was, you dove back into work. But it only took five minutes before you were checking your phone, seeing if he’d read the text or responded. When neither happened, you gave him a call. It sent you straight to voicemail and you hung up before you could leave a message. The feeling in your stomach grew and you packed up your bag, knowing no more work would get done tonight. It wasn’t like Tim to sulk or get in his head; he was a generally happy guy. Something must have set him off for him to be acting this way -- even with you. And if it was something this big, there was only one spot he would’ve gone.

“Brady said you stalked out of media. Figured I’d find you here.” He turned around at the sound of your voice, his shoulders dropping a little. He shrugged, which you took as your cue to take a seat beside him at your lookout space. The sun was setting, the golden hour light reflecting on his stress lines, and the sky was littered with wispy clouds.

Your hands were in the pockets of your hoodie, your legs tucked together. Despite being here for close to six years, the Canadian chill always surprised you. You sat with your shoulder pressed to his, a silent symbol of you being there for him. With his head down, he mumbled something too quiet for you to hear, so you leaned your head down to hear him better. At your movement, he huffed and lifted his head.

“I’m supposed… They wanted me to come and make a difference and to help win games. But I’m not helping! I’m supposed to be putting up points and helping win games, but we’re still losing! Like, why do I suck?”

Your chest got tight at his words. “Tim…”

“You can’t deny it, the numbers say we’re losing.”

“Losing doesn’t mean you aren’t producing. This is your first year in the NHL, you wouldn’t be here if they didn’t think you were worth it. Hockey is a team sport, it isn’t just your job to win the game.”

“But they wouldn’t have gotten me right out of the World Juniors if they didn’t need me to start making an impact right away! They were counting on me. And I’m not living up to it….”

“You are nineteen years old. Nineteen. The five other rookies ahead of you in points are all at least two years older than you. Let that sink in. You have so many years ahead of you. And secondly, no one here is expecting you to turn this team around. McDavid’s first year he didn’t turn the team around. And sure, yeah, the next year, the Oilers had more success but guess what? They missed the playoffs the next three years. Hockey is a team sport, one person, not even McDavid, can completely turn a team around. No one is expecting you to turn this team around in one season. This isn’t on you.”

“But the numbers…”

“Are you going to trust the analyst on the numbers or the assholes on Twitter?” He glared at you but let you continue on. “If you really want to talk numbers, we aren’t last in the league anymore. We’ve beat the top team in the division a couple times now. You’re putting up points, you’re helping us win. Cut yourself some slack. You’re nineteen and living in a new country. This team isn’t expecting you to be Ottawa’s saviour, okay?”

“There’s pressure to be better though! Everywhere I go, I just see how I should be doing more, how if I don’t produce more, I’m going to be a draft bust. I’m the young guy, I’m supposed to be the new blood and be able to make a difference. I feel like I’m letting everyone down.” His words lingered in the sunset glow, a contrast to the darkness he was feeling. You fell silent at his outburst, the air feeling too quiet, even with his heavy breathing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

You ignored his apology, knowing he would never intentionally hurt you. “I graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I didn’t have enough job experience but my grades were one of the only reasons I was able to get hired so young. My first year, all I did was double check other people’s stats and predictions, and it was okay. No one expected much out of me because I was young and they didn’t really give me any responsibilities. But this year… they’re looking to me more. Teams with more than two analysts are more likely to produce teams that make the playoffs. I’m number three; I should be helping make a better team. But I’m not. I’m not getting the numbers we need or the stats we need. I know more updated methods and technologies but...it’s just not working. I’m not finding solutions to problems that this team has had for years. And the board and my colleagues see that. I know I shouldn’t worry about them firing me, but I still do. I mean, I’m not producing, why would they keep me around? This wasn’t what they wanted when they gave me the job.”

“They won’t fire you, you’re doing your best. And you’re young, you graduated early. They have to give you a chance to prove yourself in the workplace before they fire you.”

“You wanna take your own advice?” He flushed at your words, but you smiled. “Thanks, though.” He nodded and looked out over the suburbs surrounding the arena.

“The pressure in this league sucks.” He said and you leaned your head on his shoulder.

“Yeah. It does. But we’ll get through it right?”

“We’ll figure something out. Together.” He placed his hand on your thigh and the two of you looked out at the sunset, his touch lingering on your body until the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Silently, he helped you to your feet, and walked you to your car, making sure you got in okay, before he got into his car. On the drive home, your chest felt lighter from the conversation.

***

The final buzzer rang, signalling a 4-2 win for the Senators. You smiled at the scoreboard and gathered your papers. The game was nothing spectacular, but for you, it was a career defining game. Some of the lines you'd suggested were risky, but you had the numbers to back it up, and it worked. It worked. The conversation with Tim earlier last week helped with your confidence to take risks in terms of your analytic advice.

You went back to your office after the game, wanting to type up a report of how you impacted tonight's outcome. If it worked this time, who's to say it couldn't work again? But in a higher stakes game? You felt like you were finally contributing to the team, and damn, it felt good.

Your office was barely even that. It was small, but you had a desk, a window, and your name on the door. It was enough for your first major gig. You'd made it a little homey-er with a small succulent and some motivational quotes. You opened up your laptop and began to type up a document report. The words flowed from your fingers and you used the numbers you counted from the box to back up your findings. Time seemed to stand still as you typed, the document becoming longer and longer.

A knock broke your train of thought and you looked up to see Tim poking his head through your office door. He had a shy smile on your face and you shook the writing haze out of your eyes.

"Hey! Come on in," He nodded, closing the door behind him before leaning against the wall. "You played a good game." His cheeks flushed and he lifted his hat, running his fingers through his hair.

"Thanks, thank you. Anyway, did you eat yet?"

"I mean, I had an iced coffee before the game and a granola bar during the second period. So yeah?" Immediately he started shaking his head and he pushed himself away from the wall. You open your hands as if to say 'what’?" and he outstretched his hand to you.

"Coffee and a granola bar isn't a meal. Let's go get some real food, I'm hungry." He made a grabby hand with his outstretched hand and you sighed.

"I have to finish my report, I can't." He sighed, pushed your laptop shut, and grabbed your hand.

"That can wait. Besides, the boys went out and I need a ride home." He flashed you a shy smile and you rolled your eyes, before picking up your bag and leaving your office with him. You tried not to notice how Tim was still holding onto your hand, but as he tugged you along to a quiet area of the concourse, it was difficult to do. He stopped at a small table with two bar stools. He let go of your hand, cold enveloping you, and you hung your bag on the back of the chair. As you hopped onto the chair, he stayed standing, tapping his fingers on the tabletop.

“What do you want to eat?" When you shook your head again, he pulled out his puppy dog eyes. "Tim, seriously, I'm fine."

"I'm getting some fries and you will eat some of them. Deal?" Your face pulled into a frown and he repeated himself. "Deal?"

"Yes, Mom, deal."

He gave himself a self assured smile. "Great. I'll be right back."

A few minutes later he came back with a container of fries and two small containers. He set them down in front of you before he got seated. A closer look at the container showed one was ketchup and the other was…

"Is this mayo?" He picked up a fry, dipped it in the white substance, and popped it into his mouth. With his mouth full, he nodded. "You eat your fries with mayonnaise?"

"You don't?"

"No!" You shook your head. He took another fry, dipped it again, and ate it.

"You have to try it, it's good!"

“No, no thank you. You can keep your weird German eating habits to yourself." You laughed, dipping a fry in ketchup before eating it.

"Nope, you've got to try one. Please?" You scrunched up your nose, and he held out a white coated french fry. You gave in, taking it from his hands and shoving it in your mouth. You chewed it slowly, contemplating the taste.

"It's...not horrible." He raised his eyebrows at you. "Fine, it's alright." He gave you another look, a small smile forming on his face despite his efforts to hide it. "Okay, okay, I like it. Happy?" He let out a loud laugh.

"Yes! I knew you'd like it!" You laughed a little with him, before dipping another fry in the mayo and popped it in your mouth. The two of you ate in silence, the sounds of the zamboni in the background.

"Why didn't you go out with the guys? You had a good game,"

He shrugged. "I wanted something quieter. Besides, I was hungry and the guys wanted to go out to a bar. Bar food isn't exactly a meal."

"Neither is french fries,"

"Well, maybe, you're just better company than the guys."

"Damn right, I am." You smiled, tapped his fry with yours in a makeshift sort of 'cheers' way. When the two of you had finished your snack, you picked up the container and threw it in the compost bin near the table. You grabbed your bag off the chair, holding up your car keys. He got up off the table, joining you in a slow walk towards the parking lot.

You wished the custodians a good night as the two of you left the arena, the street lights in the parking lot illuminating the way to your car. Silently, you unlocked the car and you both got in. You gave him your phone, telling him to pick any playlist he wanted while you started the car. He picked one of your favourite playlists, a mix of relaxing beats and soft music, which was perfect for late night drives.

"You should have some lo-fi on here, it's a lot like this. I think you'd like it," he said, after you had merged onto the highway.

"Yeah?" He only nodded, allowing a comfortable silence to come back to the car. The rest of the drive was easy, the road being mostly empty and the music filling the car. He gave you quiet directions to the house, more points and here's than actual directions but you were able to find it.

"Thank you for the ride," He said, once you’d put the car in park.

"Thanks for sharing your food with me,” He shook his head and smiled at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“I’ll always share with you.” You caught his gaze, his brown eyes filled with sincerity. You could feel your cheeks flush and you waved him out of your car.

“I gotta get home too, you know.” You joked and he got out, popping his head back into the doorway for a second.

“Text me when you get home, yeah?” You murmured an ‘of course’ and he nodded, closing the car door and making his way to his front door. You waited until he entered the house before you drove away, turning on a lo-fi playlist from Spotify.

***

“Your turn to pick the movie, but no subtitles please, I’m too lazy to read today.” You handed Tim the remote for his TV while you pulled the blanket closer to your chin. The October chill had settled in his apartment and you hadn’t dressed for his room to feel like the arena.

“Jimmy!” Someone called from the kitchen and a loud clang dissolved any annoyance Tim had from his roommate interrupting his time with you. He rushed to the kitchen and you followed behind shyly. There were platters across the kitchen island, each with a different coloured dish. It looked like there was a salad, a couple casserole dishes, and some plates of desserts. A taller brunette was standing in the kitchen, frantically gesturing between Tim and a pot on the stove. There was a lid on the ground, a splatter of pinkish red liquid surrounding it. You entered the kitchen, picked up the lid before placing it in the sink. The other guy was still explaining to Tim what exactly he wanted to do, even though his head was tilted like a confused puppy. You brushing him aside llightly, grabbing the spoon Tim was holding to stir the pinkish red liquid on the stove. You sent him a small smile back over your shoulder and all you could see in his eyes was relief.

“Thank you!” The oven beeped and you noticed an embroidered #9 on the roommate's Senator sweats. You moved to the side to allow him to get another baking dish from the oven. He placed it on the stovetop and took off his oven mitts. “Thank you for doing that. I didn’t think he’d be that helpless in the kitchen.”

“I’m surprised anyone in this house can actually cook,” You laughed. The liquid that smelled of oranges and cranberries started to boil, so you reduced the heat and continued to stir it. You look at the baking dish that he brought out of the oven. “Are those brussel sprouts?”

“Yeah! My mom’s recipe; they’re delicious! Do you like them?”

“They’re one of my favourites! My recipe uses bacon though.”

“Oh nice! You’ll have to share it with me, I’d love to try it. And, sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Josh,”

“I know.” He shot you a look and you backtracked. “I-Sorry, it’s just-I actually work with you? I’m in the analytics department, so I know your jersey number and I saw it on your sweats and put two and two together. I’m not being a creep, I’m sorry.” The sound of laughter behind you made you blush.

“Not being a creep my ass. They did the same thing when me and Jimmy ran into them for the first time!” Brady commented, walking into the kitchen. He was wearing a nice pair of dress pants and a button up shirt. You shook your head before nodding towards his attire.

“Going somewhere nice?” He looked down at his outfit and shook his head.

“It’s Thanksgiving? It’s why they gave us the day off?” That...that would explain the amount of food in the kitchen. No matter how many years you lived here, you’d always forgotten that Canadian Thanksgiving was a whole month earlier. You placed the stir spoon on a plate next to the pot and wiped your hands on your pants.

“Oh! Um, right, well, uh in that case, I should be, I should get going. You guys must have plans. Nice to meet you Josh.” You made your way out of the kitchen to the foyer where your coat and shoes were without so much as a goodbye to the guys. You could hear Tim coming after you, his steps lighter and more graceful than Brady or Josh’s. But, he didn’t make a move to do anything except stare at you as you got ready to leave. It wasn’t until you were getting ready to put on your shoes that he spoke.

“You should just stay. We’ve got lots of food.”

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude…”

“Brady’s bringing his girlfriend and a couple other of the guys are coming over. You wouldn’t be intruding.”

“I really shouldn’t…”

“You should. Why won’t you stay?”

“I don’t know if you have this holiday in Germany, but Thanksgiving is a family thing, Tim.” You sighed. “Besides, shouldn’t I have brought something? Am I even dressed okay?” You looked down at your outfit - a simple pair of jeans and one of your comfiest graphic tees. He shrugged.

“Don’t worry about that. You look great, just enjoy the night with me. Stay? Please? C’mon schatz, you’re like my family to me.” The two of you maintained eye contact until you broke it and took off your coat. You could see Tim’s smile widen and when it came to walking back into the kitchen, he extended his arm. You took it and the two of you made your way back towards what would end up being a wonderful evening full of laughs and smiles shared between friends.

***

You had come over for a trashy reality TV binge after a particularly hard day at work. None of the numbers were adding up the way you needed them to and your laptop was having a hissy-fit all day. Soon enough, you called it a day and texted Tim, telling him you’d be over in twenty minutes. He greeted you at the door with your favourite chocolate treat, a box of Timbits, and “there’s popcorn in the microwave right now, it’s almost done”. You could’ve melted right on the spot. Instead, you made your way over to the couch where you collapsed and pulled the blanket he had already set out for you up to your chin. You breathed in the smells of pine and sock tape and felt your body relax. HGTV played in the background while you waited for him to bring the popcorn out when his phone dinged.

“Tim, your phone!” You yelled to him from across the living room.

“Who is it?” You sighed and moved from your comfortable spot on the couch to check his messages. You turned on the phone to see a message from Josh, saying he’s five minutes away. You went to lock the phone, seeing the unimportance of the message but something caught your eye. You swiped to clear the notification and his background came into focus. It was the two of you standing in front of the Ottawa sign at ByWard market, his arm around your shoulders and a grin on both your faces.

“Who was it?” He entered the room as he repeated his question.

“Just Josh,” you whispered, turning around to face him holding up his phone. “Am I your lock screen?” He blushes, opening his mouth stammering for words. “I am! I knew I was important to you.” You poked him a couple times for an extra tease when his face settled into a small pout and he retaliated by tickling you. You shrieked and hopped up from the couch, laughing as he chased you around the house.

“Stop doing that!” He laughed as you escaped his clutches once more. Your laugh echoed through the house as he tried again to try to tickle you, but you grabbed Josh and used him as a human shield.

“No fair schatz,” He relented his tickling and sat on the couch. You took a seat beside him, but kept your distance in case he decided to start his torture again.

“You know, you’ve never told me what that means,” You look over to him and he’s already scratching the back of his neck.

“What what means?”

“That thing you keep calling me. Like shats?”

Josh laughed and spoke up. “It means swe-”

“Friend! It means friend!” Tim interrupted loudly, his cheeks rosy. “It means friend.” You raised your eyebrows at his outburst and his explanation.

“You call your friends, ‘friend’?”

He scratched at his jaw and slowly nodded. “In my city, it’s common for friends to just call each other ‘friend’. It’s normal,” You managed out a ‘okay’ between breathy laughs, wondering why he was being so strange about it. It was just a nickname. But the blush in his cheeks didn’t diminish until well after Josh left the room, muttering under his breath about ‘idiots’, and you couldn’t help but think that maybe it meant more than Tim was letting on.

***

“Are you going to be at the gala on Saturday?” Tim asked you as the two of you ate (lunch for you, pre-practice snack for him) on the concourse. It was your first concourse snack since the All-Star break and you had missed him. WhatsApp messages and Instagram messages just weren’t the same as being in his presence. You finished your bite, and shook your head.

“It’s only for players isn’t it?”

“Would you want to come with me?”

“Like...as a date?” You looked up at him, your eyes wide. Maybe this was the clue you were waiting for.

“As friends?” Your eyes darted down onto the counter and Tim took that as a sign you didn’t want to go with him. “There’ll be puppies there.”

“Well,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, “If there’s going to be puppies, I need no more convincing.” You forced a smile onto your face and he returned the sentiment, before finishing up the food. You wished him good luck before the game, and left to go the the box.

Soon enough, it was Saturday night and you found yourself in front of the Fairmont Château. You gazed up at the stone walls and admired how the orange glow from the lights gave it such a warm feeling, compared to the shivers that were going up and down your back. You had found time to go and get a fancy outfit for the night, its gold fabric being a perfect fit on your body. Tim had told you he’d meet you inside, so walked upt the steps alone, avoiding the other guests in fancy attire. They looked like they belonged here. You couldn't relate. The front entrance of the hotel was exactly as you expected -- it had marble floors, crown moldings, and a domed ceiling. You followed the chatter to one of the conference rooms, someone offering to check your coat. With just your clutch, you entered the ballroom with the sound of your shoes following you.

You looked around to try to find Tim among the executives, easily spotting him when you heard Brady’s booming laugh in the corner. You made your way over to the group, including Brady, Josh, Drake, Tim and some respective dates. Josh waved at you and Tim turned around to see you walking towards him.

Tim stood there, memorized by the way the Senators gold fabric hugged your figure and the way your eyes had lit up when you saw one of the puppies. You came over to him, brushing his arm before joining the group. Hellos were thrown your way and it wasn’t long before everyone went back to their conversations and you were able to speak with Tim.

“You look handsome." You handed him your clutch, which he held unashamedly, as you adjusted his gold bowtie, letting your hands linger on the front of his chest. You gulped before snapping out of your trance and took your clutch back from him.

“Um, uh, thanks. You look...good too,” His voice was breathy and his cheeks had flushed a little. You smiled at him, before noticing another golden retriever stumbling around next to its trainer and darting off to pet it. Tim watched you go and he stood back, blown away by the way his heart was beating faster and how he couldn’t seem to get enough air into his lungs.

“You finally figured it out, huh?” He turned around at Drake’s voice. He had recognized the look on Tim’s face, it was the same one he had when he looked at his partner. Tim furrowed his eyebrows.

“Figured what out?”

Drake scoffed and took a gulp of his drink. “God, you already know and you’re denying it. You’re in love with them.” Tim shook his head, waving off the thought. You were his best friend, nothing more. “C’mon man, you can keep lying to yourself but it’s obvious to everyone else.” He was then swept away by a reporter, leaving Tim to his thoughts.

He wasn’t in love with you. He was sure of it. You were his best friend, his safe spot. It’s not like when he sees you his heart beats faster or he notices how your eyes crinkle when you laugh or when the sun hits your skin just right, you look like an angel. It’s not like the more he looks at your lips the more he wants to know if they taste like your sweet honey lip chap. It’s not like your smile could cure his darkest days or that he could see himself introducing you to his family as his partner.

Except it was like that.

Tim saw all of that with you. He saw more galas, more late night drives, lazy Sunday mornings. He wanted to see you after his games, not in your office, but in the tunnel where you’d be wearing his jersey and a special jean jacket. He wanted to take you home to meet his family, his hometown friends. He wanted to show you all the places that were special to him, just as you showed his places special to you. He wanted to meet Dani and see if she thought he was good enough to be your partner. As he stared at you petting the small golden pup, he realized Drake was right. He was in love with you.

He was in love with his best friend.

Fuck, what was he supposed to do now?

You didn’t give him too much time to think about that as you came up behind him, telling him everything about the golden retriever you just met. He smiled at you, and motioned with his head to find your seats as dinner was going to be served soon. You sat next to him, your leg brushing against his under the table. Even from that, he got shocks-- tiny lightning bolts trailing up his body. It was like every sense was heightened after he came to the realization that he loved you. How am I supposed to even act around them? He thought.

The meal passed without issue and while Tim went about schmoozing all the executives and donors, you stick with the other halves. You had already met Emma, Brady’s partner, and she introduced you to Dakota, Briar, and Marissa (she had also told you who they came with but that information had not stuck with you).

“Sooo… Emma, how’s the wedding planning going?” Briar asked. She had gotten engaged over the holiday break. She laughed and waved off the question.

“Oh, not at all! We’re just enjoying being engaged, it’s like the honeymoon phase all over again,”

“Just like you and Tim,” Dakota nudged you and wiggled her eyebrows. You coughed on your drink at her statement.

“What?” You managed to sputter. Emma looked uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. “What do you mean, like me and Tim?”

“Oh come on, it’s so obvious the two of you are in your honeymoon phase! Don’t be ashamed of it, you’re such a cute couple!”

“Ooh yes!! How his bowtie matched your outfit is like goals, I wish my boyfriend did that with me,” Marissa mentioned. Your voice felt caught in your throat and you were instantly aware of the breeze in the room and the sweat on the back of your neck.

“We’re just friends,” Your voice was small.

“I’ll believe that when pigs fly, babe. Oh, look, here comes your man.” Dakota winked at you before turning into her own date. You turn around quickly to see him walking over to you, laughing with Brady and Josh. Normally, the sight of him would calm you down. He was such a genuine person and you appreciated how you never had to shrink yourself to fit in with him. But with the girls’ comments, you suddenly couldn’t be around him. When his hand met the small of your back, you flinched before relaxing into his touch. It was just Tim, your Tim. It’s not a big deal unless you make it a big deal.

“Timmy, I was just telling Y/n what a cute couple you two are!”

“Well, what do they say? Oh right, they complete me,” He sent you a wink and pulled you closer to his side. You went stiff in his hold, and he noticed, instantly letting you out of his grip. You muttered out an excuse about work and said quick goodbyes to the group before you were out of the gala as fast as your shoes could allow. Your cheeks were hot with...embarrassment? No, that wasn’t quite it. But they were hot, and the room felt small with Dakota’s teasing so just needed to escape. You needed to have fresh air in your lungs, needed to feel the cool Ottawa air on your arms. Needed to be somewhere other than beside him and his light teasing that left your stomach in knots.

But you hadn't even reached the front door and grabbed your coat from the coat check when Tim caught up to you. He watched you try to put on your coat, as he rocked back and forth on his heels like that first day you met.

“Do you… do you actually have work in the morning or were you just saying that?” You looked up and met his eyes, the orbs holding a certain vulnerability you hadn’t seen before.

“I got called at the last minute. I forgot to tell you, Jody’s kid got sick so I’m covering the game on Sunday but I haven’t prepared my notes or anything and you know me, I’ve got to be prepared or I won’t make a coherent analysis and then I’m really in trouble-” Tim cut your rambling off with a murmur of your name and you slowed your frantic movements to look at him.

“We’re okay, right?”

You smiled at him before you walked out the glass door. “Yeah, we’re alright.”

***

Last night was confusing to say the least. You could still feel the heat in your cheeks from...embarrassment? No, it wasn’t that. It was more like you couldn’t stand around to see what he meant by his comment. You couldn’t stand around why everyone else say you as a couple when you knew you weren’t. But you were okay with not being a couple weren’t you?

It’s like not you liked him that way. Yeah, a simple smile from him could turn your day around and your concourse snacks were the highlight of your week. But that’s because he was your best friend. It’s not like you wanted to spend every morning waking up to him or spend your afternoons running your fingers through his hair. It’s not like you wanted to take him back to Seattle to meet Dani or how you wanted to wear his jersey to call him yours. It’s not like you daydreamed about him gently holding your hand as you walked through ByWard market or how soft his lips would be as he leaned in to kiss you or what his abs felt like without a shirt separating your fingers from his skin.

Except it was like that.

And then came the comment at the gala. Did that mean he liked you too? But he said you were just going as friends. Did he mean it platonically? What if you read things wrong? Fuck, why were feelings so complicated?

Dani, you needed to call Dani. She’d know what to make of all this. She picked up on the fourth ring. “Thanks for calling Books By The Ocean, may you please hold?”

“Dani, it’s me.” Hold music filled your ear and you rolled your eyes. A few minutes later, there was almost certainly a hole in your rug from your pacing and she finally picked up.

“Why’d you resort to calling the store? I would’ve answered my phone eventually,”

“Yeah, eventually. I just really need to talk to you now,”

“Okay, so what’s up?”

“There’s this guy…”

“Is it Tim? Please tell me it’s Tim.” When you didn’t answer, she rejoined before reeling it in and telling you to continue.

“Anyways...we’re pretty good friends, I've known him since like the start of the season, and I don’t know, like I think he likes me? And I mean, I like him, he’s really great but, like, I just-”

“Can you get to the point please?”

“I want to take the next step with him. I want to be more than friends with him. I want all those things but… I just seem frozen. Like when I think about telling him, my body feels like it won’t move. It feels like I’m underwater. But I want to do more with him. I want that. Why won’t my brain get that and let me… I don’t know, let me act on my feelings?”

“You’re protecting yourself. You’ve never got hurt before,” You scoffed at her statement.

“What do you mean, of course I have,”

“Okay, sure, when you scraped your knee or when Nancy Peters called you dumb in second grade but you haven’t got hurt before. You haven’t opened yourself up to someone and let someone into your heart and let them see you for who you are.”

“Well, yeah, okay, but that’s because they might not like what they see,”

She sighed. “You can’t go through life with your walls up, kiddo. It’s hard, but you have to trust yourself. You have to let yourself feel. You have to let people in. When we were little and moved around a lot, maybe it was a survival tactic. But you’ve been in Ottawa for close to five years now and have unpacked all your boxes? Have you had any friends over? You’ve put down roots there but you’re still holding onto a survival tactic when you need to be living, not just surviving.

“I let people in--”

“No. You don’t. Has Tim ever been in your apartment? Has he seen that even though you resent Mom, you still have family photos of the four of us in your living room? Does he know about Dad? You might have told him stuff but you’re still living behind walls.” She sighed.

“Look, I don’t mean to be hard on you, but I want to see you thrive kiddo. I want you to experience life, and yeah, hurt is a part of life. You aren’t doing life right if you come out unscathed. And sure, maybe he’s a great friend. But in some instances, that romantic partner can fill a more emotionally secure place. People usually place more trust in their partner than just a friend. You’ve got to open up to him more than you already have if you want more from him.”

“How do I do that?”

“You’ve got to figure that out on your own kiddo, but it probably wouldn’t hurt to talk to him. Honestly; no hiding behind your friendship.” You nodded to her advice, before realizing she couldn’t see you, and thanked her for her help. She hung up with the promise to chat again on Wednesday like you normally did. You threw your phone beside the sink and leaned your head against the cool counter.

Be honest with him

Okay, you could do that. Easy enough right? You just had to make a plan to tell him. You could do that.

***

You were walking through the halls close to the bench to deliver your latest stats to the coach. It was your job after the other analysts determined you “had the youngest feet” and could go scouring around to find the coach. You didn’t mind. Besides… if you just happened to bump into Tim while you were down here, well then that was a completely unplanned coincidence. Since the gala and your chat with Dani afterwards, you were feeling good about where you stood with Tim. And you’d made your plan. After the game, you’d meet up for after-game snacks like most home games and you had told yourself you’d talk to him then.

You had given the latest report to the coach on the bench, walking past the locker room towards the box when you heard Tim's voice.

“...I don’t know man, I just need a break from Y/n.” You stopped in your tracks. It wasn’t that you meant to be nosy, but at the mention of your name… you wanted to see what else he had to say. You hadn’t meant to smother him but you guess he saw it differently. Your shoulders dropped and you bit your lip.

“I only have a problem around them!” You could feel the breakfast in your stomach start to turn, the feeling of bile starting to rise up. A ringing started to fill your ears, the white static noise only being pieced by his once comforting voice.

“It’s just… We work together, you know? It’s awkward,” Where was this attitude when you were hanging out at the start of the season? Last week? If this is how he felt, why didn’t… what did he mean by his comment to Dakota?

His voice shook you out of your trance. “Like at the end of the day, I’m me… they pay me a lot to play my game and they’re...them.” At that, you rushed away from earshot. If that was how he really felt, then screw him. If he was the hockey star and you were just the analyst, then that’s what role you’d play. Nothing more, nothing less. And he wasn’t brave enough to say that to your face, you’d say it first.

This is why you didn’t open yourself up. If you were going to get hurt either way, it might as well be the least damaging option.

Over the next few games and practices, you kept your distance from the players. You avoided the bench, sending Jody to give reports to the coach. You kept your office door closed, the blinds closed, and you made sure to time your exits of the arena to avoid Tim. If avoiding him meant you avoided the inevitable conversation where he would tell you your flaws and point out every way you misread things, then you would do that.

After you heard that, you stopped going out of your way to pass by the boys in the arena. You went into your office, closed the door, and didn’t leave until you went home. When you had to sit in the stands for practices, you sat higher than you used to and ignored the waves and stared you got from the team. He sent the occasional text but you replied with an im busy too many times that he stopped trying. It was odd to you how he kept reaching out when he was the one who said he needed a break but you ignored that voice in your head.

It was a Friday when he finally confronted you. You had been so close to leaving the arena, just one more hallway, and you would’ve been out the door and into the parking lot. He had called your name and you tried to turn the corner without him but he caught up easily, grabbing your wrist to get you to stay.

“What’s up? It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever,” He let go of your wrist as you turned to face him.

“Well that’s what happens when you’re a bigshot NHL player and I’m a lowly analyst.” He squinted his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows at your statement.

“What?”

“Look, I don’t-- I don’t think we should be friends anymore,”

He slowly nodded, thinking your words over in his head. “Okay. Um...I think… yeah, that could be good. I don’t think we should be just friends either.” He shot you a shy smile with a spark of hope in his eyes but you frowned.

“Good. It’s settled then.” You turned on your heel and walked away from him, only wiping your teary eye once you had rounded the corner, refusing to let him see you cry. You missed the way he frowned as you retreated.

The weekend was spent in bed, repeat episodes of Loki playing in the background. Loki never hurt you the way Tim had, the way his words dug into your insecurities of being alone creating a wound like no other. You had turned your phone off earlier as it kept buzzing with messages from him. You didn’t want to hear his excuses of why and you didn’t want to explain that you’d overheard his conversation. But the season wasn’t over yet so you gave yourself two days to grieve. When Monday morning came, it was like nothing had ever happened.

Tim caught you in the main entrance way at the rink. It was close to 8am and you knew he didn’t have practice until 11, so it was obvious he was waiting for you. You walk right past him until he softly calls your name and you stop walking, but don’t turn around. “Why are you ignoring me?”

“You know why.” You whipped around and scoffed at him. “And you know what else? If you had a problem with me, you could’ve just said something. You didn’t have to keep hanging out with me.”

“What?”

“I think we should just keep this professional, 18. I’m nothing more than a background analyst to your hockey superstar, so let’s just stick to our jobs, yeah?”

“What are you talking about?”

“We work together, we shouldn’t be friends, you said it yourself. It’ll be better this way. Now, please, just leave me alone.” You brushed by him, bumping your shoulder with his, and you missed the way his jaw fell open at how quickly your relationship seemed to change.

He seemed to leave you alone after that. He didn’t check in and he didn’t send funny memes he found. He didn’t text you to tell you he landed safely on road trips and you didn’t congratulate him on a game well played. You could tell Brady and Josh thought it was weird but didn’t say anything, just gave you pitying looks when you passed by or caught their eye in the halls.

The Senators failed to clinch a playoff spot, thanks to an overtime loss to Winnipeg. The end of the season for you was nice. It meant a shift in your work to more prospects, and thankfully, a more flexible work schedule. You didn’t have to go into the arena and most of the players went back to their hometowns to visit. It was supposed to be a reprieve for you, knowing Tim wasn’t even in the country. It was supposed to be relaxing, going to all the places that had helped you in the past to regroup your thoughts.

But instead, it felt suffocating, strolling through the market. You’d been here thousands of times to clear your head, but this time the deeper you walked, the more the thoughts in your head swirled into a hurricane.

You’d never know what home felt like. You’d had friends tell you it’s having like extended family over around the holidays or it’s the peacefulness they felt at their lake house. You thought you had found it in Ottawa, its quaintness and history bringing you a sense of calm you hadn’t had before. But only with Tim did you feel that inner peace that home felt like. Only with Tim did you feel like you could take on the world. Only with Tim did you feel whole.

And that was scary.

Feeling like one person could complete you, like they had a piece of your heart you didn’t know you gave them, was scary. You were used to being on your own. You’d done it throughout your levels of schooling and throughout the beginnings of your career. And all it took for that strength to come crashing down was a bashfully confident German hockey player.

He couldn’t even tell you why. It would’ve hurt more to hear the exact reasons why you weren’t good enough for him, but it would have quelled your mind from picking on every single insecurity your mind could come up with.

Before you knew it, you were staring at the Ottawa sign. You glanced around to see couples waiting for their turn at the sign. Some of the guys had their arms around the shoulders’ of their girlfriends. Some of the girls had their hands clasped in their girlfriends’. Some people had their arms around the waist of their partner. But they all had a smile on their face, a fondness that was reserved for the love of their life.

Your eye caught the sight of a backwards Senators cap and your head whipped around. The person was tall and was wearing a grey hoodie. The man turned to the side and you caught a glance of the brown tufts of hair that stuck out of the cap. He threw his head back and the corners of your mouth turned up. Tim’s laugh was always infectious, even if you were upset with him.

But it wasn’t him.

He hadn’t reached out since the day in the hallway. As much as you knew you didn’t want to hear him say things more hurtful than what you overheard, you couldn’t help but wonder where you went wrong. The what-ifs tumbled around in your head, the possibilities of why suddenly your friendship was too much for him.

As you stood there in the market, the memories racing through your mind mixed with images of happy couples all around you, you knew you had to get out. You don’t really remember the rush of leaving, all you know is that the city that felt big for so many years now felt too small. You can’t go anywhere without being reminded of him, his smile, his laugh. How his eyes glimmer from the light of a movie. You drove yourself to the airport, knowing there wasn’t going to be a cab this early in the morning.

Before you knew it, you were standing outside of the familiar blue painted bookstore with your duffle bag in your hands. It was raining and overcast in Seattle, which wasn’t unusual, but even the fat teardrops felt melancholic. The sign in the window said closed, but you knew Dani would be in the back, organizing new stock. You knocked on the window, the sound rattling through the worn building. A few seconds later, her head of light pink hair came to the door, opening it. Before she could question your presence, you spoke.

“He didn’t want me,” you cried. “He didn’t even see all of me and he didn’t want me.” You dropped your bag as she pulled you into a hug. One hand cradled the back of your head as she pulled you out of the rain and into the store. You inhaled her scent, a mix of sea salt and the old bookstore, and squeezed her tightly. When she released you from the hug, she tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, her fingers grazing down your jaw. She gave you a soft smile, before walking to the back of the store, where her apartment was. Your shoes squeaked against the old hardwood floors as you followed her towards the kitchen, where you could smell a pot of tea brewing.

She was silent as she poured you a cup, kissed your head, before whispering everything was going to work out. She slipped out of the room, giving you your space.

You didn’t even have to ask. Dani let you stay with her for the summer, as long as you helped out around the store when you weren’t doing your own work. She didn’t push you for details about Tim, she just let you be. You tried your best to be cheery around the customers but that facade only lasted so long. When you were alone, you didn’t try to hide the emptiness you felt there.

***

Too soon did the days start to get shorter, the nights colder, the pitter-patter of raindrops became more constant which meant fall was coming. The season was starting up again, and you had to head back to Ottawa. This summer at home was a nice break but you knew that running away wasn’t going to solve all your problems. You were packing when a text from Josh came in.

So when are you getting in?

i land at 9pm on the 20th. Why?

Can’t I wonder when my friend gets into the city?

we’re friends?

Of course we are Numbers! I don’t share family recipes with just anyone :)

good to know thanks :)

You continued packing, thinking about what he said. You knew the two of you were friends, but he was Tim’s teammate. His roommate. To hear him say, regardless of where you and Tim stand, that you two were still good was a relief. As much as you’ve enjoyed your time away from the city, you missed work. You missed sitting in the arena, a brisk chill over your shoulder, the sounds of scraping ice and whistles. You missed the quaintness of Ottawa and, as much as he’d never let you forget it, you missed Josh’s cooking. Nights with Dani didn’t compare to nights with Brady (and sometimes Emma) and Josh.

Dani parked in the loading zone of the airport. She got out of the car to help with your bag, even though you had only brought one.

“Hey, listen, um. I know you don’t want to talk about what happened with Tim but… I think you need to talk to him.”

“Dani...”

“No, listen. I think you need some closure. You ran away from a city you haven’t left in five years, a city you so obviously love, because it hurt to think about him. Maybe closure means you talk to him. Maybe it doesn’t. But you’ve spent this whole summer looking lost, like you’re waiting for something to magically appear and make everything better. You look like you’ve lost a piece of yourself and you don’t know how to get it back. And that’s not you, kiddo. It’s never been you; you’ve always been so straightforward and sure of yourself. I want you to feel like yourself again, that’s all.”

“What if…” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “What if the piece of me that I lost isn’t something I can get back?”

“Then you fill it. It might not be perfect and maybe you need lots of tape, and maybe you accept that there will be small cracks in it, but those holes make your souls yours. It’s a part of life, and you can’t avoid it no matter how hard you try.” You pulled her in for a hug, some of the tears in your eyes dropping onto her shoulder.

“Thank you Dani. For everything.” She pulled back to wipe the tears from your face, a smile on her face.

“You know I’m always here for you, kiddo. Take care of yourself, okay?” You nodded, knowing if you spoke again, more tears would bubble over. You walked towards the departures gate, walking towards the reality you ran from.

Several hours later, you were happy to be back in Ottawa. You had missed it, as much as it pained you when you were here. Tim Hortons, bilingual signs, friendly smiles, and oh god you could have real poutine again. Yeah, it was nice to be back.

Dani’s words mulled over in your head throughout the flight, and continued to as you made your way through the airport. She was right, maybe you needed closure. Accept what happened and move on. You’d lost friends when you graduated early, you’d lost friends when you moved away. You’d lost friends before and this was no different.

Except you knew deep down it was different. It was Tim; it was always going to be different with him.

You shook your head, as if to physically rid yourself of the thought. If Tim didn’t want to be around you, then you weren’t going to waste your time waiting for him to show up. You’d suck it up everything you had to look at a stat, but other than that you’d focus on work, focus on proving yourself in the company. You started to walk towards where you’d parked your car (without wondering how much the parking was), ignoring the happy reunions of students and families. You had been perfectly fine being in Ottawa on your own until you realized how much better it could be when you had someone.

A hand grasped your wrist and instantly, you turned around and ripped your arm from the stranger. You looked up, first to see a bouquet of flowers made up of peach roses, white tulips, and hydrangeas. Behind the colours of the flowers, you see a familiar face, eyes full of sorrow and hope. Even when you were ignoring him, he was still so easy to read.

“Number 18.” You struggled to keep your voice even, but you lifted your head to appear as if he had no effect on him.

“Hi Y/n,” He met your eyes, which you quickly darted away. “These are for you.” He tried to hand the bouquet to you, but you shook your head.

“How did you know when I got in?” The coldness in your voice surprised Tim, but he didn’t show it, swallowing slowly before answering you.

“Josh told me." You folded your arms, your hands gripping your bag in case you needed to get away from this conversation.

“Josh mentioned it or you asked Josh?” When he didn’t answer, you knew it was the latter and scoffed at his sneaky actions. You quickly turned away from him and moved faster towards the exit. You heard him sigh from behind you and before you could make a sly comment about it beneath your breath, he was ahead of you, blocking your way. You tried to side-step him, but hockey reflexes prevailed. You glared his way and tried again, silently begging him to move.

“C’mon, you have to talk to me sometime, we work together,” He commented.

“That’s exactly it. We work together. You’re the high and mighty NHL superstar and I’m the nerdy analyst. We have our places. They don’t mix, so really I don’t have to work with you at all. So, please, if you could just move, I have nothing else to say to you.” You tried once more to step around him, but he lightly grabbed your forearm to stop you.

“But I have stuff to say to you.”

“You had months to say it, so I’ll say it again, please let me by.” Suddenly, he was on his knees in the airport, the flowers still outstretched in his hands.

“Y/n,”

“What are you doing?” You hiss to him, your face darting around to see people starting to stare at Tim’s grand gesture.

“I need you to talk to me, and you won’t, so I’ll beg until you agree to hear me out,” You could feel more people staring, the shutter of camera phones, the eyes of everyone in the Ottawa airport (or what felt like it) easily making up your mind. There was a reason you were an analyst, away from the spotlight, doing your work behind the scenes.

“Get up,” you started to pull on his arm, but he just stayed anchored to the ground.

“You’ll talk to me?”

“18, I will do anything as long as you stop making a scene,” At this point, your cheeks felt as if you’d stood under the beating sun for an hour. He got up from his knees, the flowers still outstretched in his hands, and you let go of his arm. You grabbed the flowers from his arms, dropping them in a garbage bin as you stalked out of the airport. Tim caught up to you and walked by your side.

You said nothing as you reached your car, unlocking the doors. You didn’t even wait for him to have his seatbelt on before you were backing out of the stall and driving away. Thoughts were running wild in your head; you were angry and embarrassed at the stunt he pulled at the airport, appalled at the audacity he had to show up after what he said, and last of all you were reluctantly happy to be back in his presence again. So you went to the one place you knew you could think.

You put the car in park overlooking the suburbs. You turned it off and rested your arms on the steering wheel. You couldn’t make the effort to get out and walk to the lookout spot, the car creating a safe bubble for your thoughts.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” His soft voice broke the tense silence in the car and you scoffed.

“We’re not friends anymore. You’re the Senators star player and I’m just the nerdy analyst. There’s no reason for me to need to talk to you.”

“See, you keep saying that but I-I don’t get it! What does that even mean?” You furrow your eyebrows as you turn to face him, his own face scrunched up and his eyes hard.

“What do you mean you don’t get it? You said that! The last game against Montréal? I was walking past the locker room and… I overheard you talking with the guys.” You looked down to your lap, findling with your hands. You briefly saw Tim’s hand start to move towards you, but you shook your head and it stayed in his lap. “You said you needed a break from me. You said that ‘at the end of the day they pay me a lot to play my game and they’re.. them’. You said you had a problem with me. What was I supposed to take from that except that you didn’t want me to be in your life?”

He stammered for words but you cut him off. “No, I don’t think you understand how much it hurt. Hurt to have the one person who I thought understood me to talk behind my back about how I wasn’t enough for them. It hurt to know that the one person who I always wanted to talk to, didn’t want to talk to me. Hurt to think that you’ve only ever seen me as just some nerdy analyst who has no place in your life. I had been fine before, without you in my life, but then you came in and knocked down every barrier I ever had. And then left as if you didn’t just break my life into pieces!

“I left Ottawa because it hurt too much to go to all my favourite places, because I went there with you. I let you into my safe spaces, and when you left, you shattered that security. You tainted all the good I had there. I thought that Ottawa was home before I met you,” you scoffed. “Not even close. You feel like home to me. And for you to say that I was a problem in your life?” You shook your head at him and looked down at your hands. “I tried to get over it, believe me I did. But every single place I went I was reminded of you… and how everything we had didn’t feel like a big deal to you.”

“I never meant for that to happen.” His voice was quiet and strained, as if he was trying to keep his emotions within him.

“You know the hardest part? I didn’t just have to get over losing my best friend. I had to get over someone I fell in love with! I lost the single most important relationship with one tiny little passing conversation. And you acted like nothing happened! Like we were still friends, like you still cared for me-”

“Ich liebe dich du trottel!” His outburst caught you off guard and you gulped. His heavy breathing was the only sound in the car as you whispered.

“You know I don’t speak German…”

“You don’t need to know German to know what I said,” His eyes were hard, a look you had only seen during games.

“Oh.” You shook your head and looked at him. “Wait what?”

“I didn’t say those things you think I did! You didn’t listen to the whole thing! Brady was teasing me about me saying I don’t have a problem talking to people I like and I don’t normally but you’re the exception! I needed a break from you because everytime I see you, my heart starts beating faster and my hands get sweaty and I don’t know how to act! And the guys said that sounds like I’m in love with you-- and I am! I am! But when I finally started to do something about it, you ran away from me! I didn’t know what to do. Besides, if I fell in love with you...it could mess with our jobs. Because if for any reason, something happens, they’d fire you before they’d ever trade me. And you’ve worked too hard to have an opportunity like this be taken away from you because of me. So... I didn’t know what to do. And then you just kept ignoring me and saying those things about how you’re just a nerdy analyst…. It felt like we weren’t on the same page anymore and I didn’t know where it came from or what to do either so I tried to give you space. But then you shut me out. And you said we shouldn’t be friends. So I thought that meant.... you wanted to be more than friends? And the boys were saying that you being mean to me was just you having a hard time having feelings for me but then you… uh, yelled at me so I left you alone. But that doesn’t mean I stopped thinking about you.” He placed one of his hands on top of your tentatively, giving you the option to shoo his hand away. When you didn’t, he rubbed the skin on top of your hand. “It never meant I stopped caring about you.”

He sighed. “I guess I see now that I should not have given you space. I should’ve been better for you because that’s what you deserve.”

“I could’ve been better too, this isn’t all your fault. I said some mean things.”

“I promise you, that when we’re together I’m not a NHL player. I’m just me… just Tim from Germany who likes hockey. You have always seen me for who I am, and that’s...that’s something I love about you.”

Your breath got caught in your throat. Love… was a big word. Love was for confident people. Love was for those who didn’t understand the weight of that four letter word. Love wasn’t a word you threw around. Love was scary. It asked you to place your bandaged heart in someone else’s hands and hope they didn’t drop it, shattering the pieces into smithereens. Love meant letting down those walls that time and time again had proved that needed to stay up. To protect you. To avoid the heartache of broken trust.

And here he was, throwing that word around as if the implications didn’t matter. As if he didn’t leave. As if he didn’t call you a problem. As if he didn’t know the months you spent trying to forget him and the fragments he left behind.

As if he still wasn’t understanding.

“I… I can’t do this.” You go to open the car door only for it to lock. You gasp, and you whip your head around, your eyes sharp. “This is my car, you can’t do that!” His eyes went wide and you tried again, only for it to be locked again. You gritted your teeth and he spoke before you could reprimand him again.

“Don’t shut me out again! You say you can’t do this, okay, but tell me why. We’re supposed to-to talk to each other! We would’ve had no mess if you had just talked to me after you heard what I said! So.. talk to me,” You met his soft eyes, your resolve breaking with just one look. “Please, schatz.”

You slowly pulled your hand off the handle, letting it fall into your lap. You picked at your fingernails while trying to compose your thoughts, Tim’s concerned eyes never leaving you. He murmured your name and you took a deep breath, steadying yourself.

“I’m sorry I just- I don’t know if I can jump back into where we were. I know that… it’s different than I thought but I can’t-” you cut yourself off before you said something you regret and a cold chill ran through you. “It still hurts. I can’t just unhear those things you said. Especially when they came from you. So, I’m going to need time to process everything.”

He placed one of his hands over your fidgeting fingers and you lifted your head to meet his soft eyes. “I’ll give you some space. Just let me know when you know, yeah?” Before you could nod your head, he had opened his door and got out of your vehicle. You quickly got out to question him.

“What are you doing?” He turns around at the sound of your voice.

“I’m… I’m giving you space?”

“How are you planning to get home? Uber?” He shrugged before nodding, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Uh, no. No. Get in.” He raised his eyebrows and you sighed. “It’s almost 11pm, we’re in a dark forestry area, and you are the least threatening person I know. I’m not going to let you get stabbed by some murder psycho; you still mean something to me, you know.”

At that he came over to the car, and the two of you got settled back into your seats. After you buckled up and started the engine, Tim broke his silence.

“Did you mean that? That I still mean something to you?”

You swallowed slowly and took a while to answer his question, your hand resting on the gear shift. You put the car in reverse, and looked over at him. “You’re always going to mean something to me. Just what exactly you are changes.” You backed out of the parking lot and started the drive to his place. He was quiet for a few minutes, pondering your answer, but when he spoke his voice had the quiet confidence he always carried around with him.

“Can I ask what I am right now?” Streetlights illuminated his face and out of the corner of your eye you see him slightly turned towards you, his face unsure.

“No. I’ll keep you updated?”

“Good enough.”

The rest of the drive back to his house was quiet, aside from the lo-fi beats you had playing in the background. Despite the tension, the drive felt comfortable. When you parked in front of his house, he cleared his throat.

“Um, thank you for the ride. I’ll see you around I guess,” He unbuckled his seat belt and placed his hand on the handle.

“Goodnight Tim.” Despite your smile, Tim really hoped your goodnight didn’t also mean goodbye. He got out of your car, walked up the steps to his door, unlocked it and gave you a small wave before he went inside.

Tim was true to his word. He gave you space. He didn’t go back to the lookout spot or the war memorial, knowing those were your sanctuaries before they were his. He didn’t ask for updates, he didn’t stop by your office, he didn’t ask Josh how you were doing.

And you appreciated it. The time and space left you alone with your thoughts and you often visited the lookout spot or the war memorial, trying to find some peace, but those spots were now shared with Tim. So, for the first time in a long time, you spent time in your apartment.

When you moved in, you hadn’t done anything to the place. Spaces were temporary in your experience. It was more hassle than it was worth to try to make the space your own if, in a year everything was a clean slate. But Dani was right. It had been close to six years now since you moved in. Six years. You had a stable job, you had friends here, it was time to accept that maybe this was more than temporary.

You started by unpacking the last few boxes that were stacked in the hallway. You replaced the command hooks hanging your picture frames with nails. You got new paint to liven up the living room from the basic beige it was before. You put the work into making your apartment really yours. You had to stop living behind walls and this was a first step.

The next step was to really open up.

***

You were waiting outside the dressing room for Tim to get out. You came down as soon as practice finished so you knew you wouldn’t miss him. You leaned against the cool concrete, trying to control your bouncing leg. He was one of the last out of the dressing room and you shyly smiled at the other players who left. When he came out, you popped off from the wall and stood in front of him.

“Do you still want to know why I picked hockey?” You could tell your question caught him off guard but he nodded nonetheless. “You had asked and I brushed it off...because it hurt to think about. Because it was my dad...He loved hockey. Everywhere we went, there was a team he could cheer for, but he always wished that his hometown team would win, no matter how bad they were. He took me to a game once. I had asked why he liked it so much, it was cold and loud and people were drunk and I’m pretty sure our team was losing. We were down in the crowd and he said to me, ‘Hockey is this great sport. It connects people. It creates families right before your eyes. Enemies can become teammates. This...this sport can be a family for you, anywhere you go. I hope one day you can find something that does the same thing for you.’ Two weeks later, he had a heart attack. So, I held onto the one thing that he found belonging in. I liked my math, it made sense, and I’m good at it. But when it came to doing something with my life, I just- I wanted something to make my dad proud of me, you know? I wanted to feel connected to him.”

Tim was silent but he pulled you into a hug, your head going into the crook of his neck. His arms went around your waist and he held you for a minute. “Your dad would be proud of you. I know he would. Why’d you tell me now though?”

“Well, friends share personal stuff, right?” You pulled away from the hug just enough to catch his eyes. You looked up at him hopefully, and he smiled.

“Yeah, they do.” He broke the hug, but kept an arm slung over your shoulder. “C’mon, friends also eat brussel sprouts for each other.” You laughed at his distaste for them and the two of you walked out the parking lot together, his arm still slung around your shoulders.

***

You looked up at the ceiling, your bedsheets twisted beside you. It had been about two weeks since you told Tim about your dad, and since then, the two of you had been exchanging texts daily. It felt familiar, even though both of you knew it was different. Not a bad different, just… different. You’d been over to his place a couple times and he came over for your place for a ‘welcome back’ dinner.

You were nervous to show him your apartment, but you knew you had grown into the space. It was no longer generic beige walls and command strips. The living room had an accent wall and you put nails in the wall to hang your family photos in the hallway. Tim took his time looking around your space, spending extra time in the hallway. He stopped in front of the picture of your family, all four of you, and smiled.

“My parents are coming into town when we play the Caps in December, if you want to meet them?” He had said when you sat down to eat. You sputtered your drink a little and set down the glass.

“Only if...you meet Dani when we go to Seattle in January?” His face broke into a grin and he nodded.

“I’d love that.” The rest of the dinner had no issues, just two friends catching up and getting familiar with each other again.

But he wanted you to meet his parents. He wanted you to meet the people who raised him, his family. And you didn’t have any hesitations. You wanted to meet the people who made Tim who he is.

This past week solidified that you knew what you wanted. You wanted to meet Tim’s family, you wanted to show him around Seattle, you wanted to be with him. If he still wanted to be with you.

If.

He had been pretty clear where he stood on his feelings, but the voice in the back of your mind taunted you with that one tiny two letter word. He might have seen how you reacted, how unstable you were, and how you weren’t ready to jump into things as a sign you didn’t want this. He could’ve taken your steps to being friends again as being just friends again. He could’ve-

You weren’t going to wait around to let what-if’s and might of’s and could’ve’s waft around in your head. You needed to talk to him, needed to see him. So in your pajama pants and a hoodie, you braved the Canadian night and drive to his house. You parked the car, rather haphazardly, but it could wait. You skipped a step walking up to his door and quickly phoned him.

You paced back and forth on the small porch as the phone rang three times before he picked up.

“Hallo?” His accent was thicker in his native language, the harsh constants sounding so soft from his lips.

“Can you come open the door?”

“What?”

“I’m outside. Can you open the door?”

“What? It’s like...early,”

A sigh escapes you. “Tim. I know. I know now.”

“Well if you looked at a clock before you left your place, you would’ve known earlier. That would’ve-”

“Tim.” You gulped and your voice trembled slightly. “I’m ready. I know what I want.” The tone of your voice dropped its lightheartedness and that alone was enough to shake the sleep from his mind. But your words? More than enough to get him out of bed and racing (as quietly as he could in the dark) towards you.

He opened the front door in his sleep joggers to see you pacing and shaking your arms. You hadn’t noticed him yet, so he took the opportunity to admire you. The way your hair fell, your Senator pajama pants that Brady gave you as a gag gift, the way you bit your lip between your teeth.

“Hey.” His voice broke you out of your trance, your head whipping around to see him standing in the doorframe.

“Hi.” Your voice was quiet, the nerves getting the best of you. You stood there for a while, just looking at each other. His hair was a mess and he was wearing the grey hoodie you knew for a fact was his favourite. “Oh, right, I have to go first. Um...Are- are you still sure about your feelings for me?” He nodded. “And-and they’re for sure, good feelings?”

“… They’re such good feelings.” You nodded and gave your body another shake through, as if to dissipate the nerves racing throughout your veins.

“I know it’s taken me a while to kinda sort everything out but… I like you too. That’s why hearing those things hurt so much. That’s why I had to take some time. I've been alone for most of my life and it was scary to let someone in so easily, unknowingly. You just waltzed in and made yourself at home in my heart and it felt like you belonged so I… I didn’t even realize you could hurt me. And when I heard those things, it hurt more. It just solidified that I should’ve stayed alone. You can’t get hurt if there’s no one to hurt you right? But every talk, every late night drive, everything we had...it was worth all the hurt. So I’m ready. I want to do this with you, even if it hurts. I don’t know if I can do life without you.” He pushed himself off of the doorframe and came to stand in front of you, his hand cupping your cheeks, soothing the skin under your eyes.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you and I don’t plan on doing it ever again, Y/n, you have to know that.” You nodded against his hands and you could feel some of his tension fade from his body. “Does this mean… we could be more than friends?”

“I want to be much more than friends with you, Tim.” You bit your lip to try to stop your smile from growing so wide, but it broke through when you saw how wide his smile was and how his eyes crinkled with joy.

“Does this mean I can kiss you now?” He asked softly, already leaning in. He left space between the two of you so you could decide but you easily leaned into him, your lips meeting. It was gentle but it was loving. You moved in sync, Tim’s hand moving to the back of your head to push you closer to him. Eventually, you pulled away for air.

“Schatz…” He breathed and you laughed lightly.

“You know, I don't think you've told me what that really means,” You said with a cheeky smile.

“Would you like me to say it in English, sweetheart?” He brushed his nose with yours.

“Hmm, German is fine,” You tilted your head upwards, almost brushing your lips with his. With your teasing, he let out a groan, bringing you in for another kiss. This time he broke for air, his eyes still slightly closed.

“You know, you cured my homesickness. I never felt like I missed home because I found home in you,” He whispered. Your heart melted and you brought your lips together with a passion he hadn’t seen from you before. Your hands tangled in his hair and he chased your lips as if it was a breakaway. When you broke for air, the two of you were breathless.

“As much as I want to keep doing that, it’s also very early and I am tired. Can we go back to bed please?” His arms were still around your waist, but he leaned back enough that you could see his face, puppy dog eyes and all. You nodded to his request with a soft smile, and went to remove yourself from his arms and go back to your car, but he tightened his grip.

“I got you now, so I’m not letting you go.” You buried your head in the crook of his neck and slowly the two of you made your way into the warm house. He led you through the dark hallways to his bedroom, giggling and sneaking kisses where you could.

You fell asleep so easily, the quickest you have the entire time you had lived in Ottawa. And it wasn’t only Tim’s warmth, or the way his sheets smell like hockey tape and his peppermint shampoo. You had finally opened yourself up. You had found that belonging your dad always wanted you to. And you found that in Tim; whether he knew it or not, he was home.

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[hoodieofholland]

Here is an ideia for a smut concept: Tom as been very stressed with work and one day he and the reader are going at it and he can't come and feels really bad and embaressed and the reader makes him feel better about it. Write it only if you feel comfortable about it of course. I love your fics by the way.

A/n: loved this concept so much, hope you like it. Got a bit long again lol ❤️ thanks for your comment :)

Masterlist Request/tell me your thoughts on this!!

NSFW content bellow

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, fingering (f rec), cockwarming, bit of angst, unprotected sex (pls use protection!!)

"Tom, I'm putting your bag in the car, okay? Have you got everything you need?", you shout as you crossed the corridor of you and Tom's bedroom with his bag in your hand. Both of you were in your way to the studios, Tom has been shooting Spider-Man 3 for a while now. With busy schedules, you two barely had the the time neither the energy to spend some time alone, so whenever you had a break from your work, you'd take the opportunity to make him company in his work. Right now, you were running out of time to make it to the studios in the right time, as you and Tom drifted in deep sleep and almost lost your time.

Tom didn't answer from the bedroom, and you decide to pop your head through the open door to check on him. "Hey, did you hear- Tom?"

You look at you boyfriend, who's currently sitting on the edge of your bed, elbows prompted over his knees and staring at the floor with nothing but a sad expression on his face.

"Tom? Is everything alright?" You ask softly as you drop the bag on the floor and make your way to him.

He glanced back at you with a sorry look, eyes dropping to the floor again as you kneel down and touch his thigh. "What's going on, baby? What happened?"

He sighed, brushing his hand over his face and pulling his hair a little. "I don't think- I don't think I can go today, y/n".

Confused, you furrow and straight your back to take a better look at him.

"How come?", you put your hand on his forehead as to check his temperature, a worried look on your face. "Are you sick? You feeling something-"

"No, darling, it's not that", he sighs impatiently. "I'm sorry, it's just that... I don't feel good, y'know? I'm tired. Like, really exhausted".

You blink a few times, trying to catch what he was saying, though you already new what it was all about.

You've seen Tom work really hard throughout the last three years, filming and being involved with a lot of projects. You always felt so proud of him, but at same time worried about how overwhelmed he might feel. You simply knew this day could come, and now there were you, taking a seat beside him and brushing his hair out of his face to reassure him.

"You've been working a lot, Tom". You say in a low and careful voice. "It's absolutely understandable that you feel tired".

Tom sighs and throws his body back on the mattress.

"Okay, I just need to... take a large cup of tea. Do you think you can get me, love? I promise I'll be down in five minutes, I don't think they'd be truly mad if I got twenty minutes later-"

"No, Tom", you sigh, climbing up on bed to lay beside him. Resting a hand over his chest, you look up at him. "You're not going today, okay? We staying home and taking a break".

Tom scoffed. "I can't just skip job, y/n", he sighed.

"Tom, be honest with me" you propped your elbow on the mattress and support your head on your hand. "We were about to head out for, like, half an hour ago and you can't seem to get out of bed yet. You're tired, it's fine. I'll call the team and tell them that you don't feel so good".

Tom grimaces and rub his hand over his cheeks. "That's not professional of me. I- I have a contract, I have people that are counting on me- I have you here, and it wasn't even your job to follow and help me while I'm working, but you're still here and I feel so stupid for being such a pussy and not being able to-"

"Thomas Stanley", you say sternly, lifting your body to sit on bed. "Don't you dare saying it again. Baby, you're so hardworking. There's no doubt in anyone's head about how dedicated you are and how strenuous you get with everything you're involved with. But you're human, Tom, and you're exhausted. There's no need to be ashamed of it".

Tom sniffs, pressing his nose with two fingers as he tries to gather his composure. He wasn't feeling like easing himself about it and you could feel it by the way he closed his eyes tightly.

"Okay, that's what is going to happen", you say, getting up from bed and clapping your hands together with determination. "I'm gonna call the directors, gonna say that you don't feel good and tell them you're sorry about it, but that they'll need to postpone the filming. Then I'm gonna run you a bath just how you like it and we're gonna order dinner, maybe some pizza. What do you think?"

Tom gumbled, feeling vexed that he couldn't argue with you, because you were right - there was no way he could go to work today. He knew if he tried to, he'd do a shitty job and feel even worse that he'd need to waste everyone's time again to redo it.

So he silently nodded, and you give him a small softly smile.

After calling the studio and telling them about Tom, you filled the bathtub with a warm water and his favorite bubbles.

When everything was ready, you called him out from the bathroom and reassured him some more, kissing his cheek as you gave him time to undress and get in the tub.

"I'm not getting in here without you", he stated, pulling his shirt off his head, a kind smile on his face. You bite your lips as you watch he taking his jeans off, his white boxers beautifully on display for you.

"It's supposed that you relax there. It's gonna be tighter if I get in with you, and you won't be able to spread out".

Tom snorts and gives you a smug smile. In no time, he grabs your waist and pulls you closer to his chest. "No way I'm buying that, love", then his feature turns goofy all of a sudden. "C'mon, I need you there with me. Hold you real tight so I can relax a little, eh?"

You laugh at his attempt and end up giving up, shoving his chest playfully to pull him away enough to take out your clothes.

Tom gets rid of his boxers, entering the bathtub next. Whilst, you are taking off your jeans. "You still coming?", he teases, eyeing you shamelessly. "Hurry up, darling, the water is amazing".

You poke your tongue out and giggle when get completely naked, testing the water temperature before entering it slowly. When you were about to sit in the opposite seat, in front of Tom, he shook his head and took your hand, signaling for you to come closer. “You’re too far. C’mere”.

Narrowing your eyes in a little protest, you did as he asked, not being able to turn down the offer to sit with your back pressed against his chest.

“You were supposed to be relaxed, Tom”.

“Well”, he wrapped his arms around you, hugging your body in the most comfy way possible. “How am I supposed to relax when my girl is right on the other side and not this close to me? See? Much better now”, he lowered his head to rest in the crock of you neck and you giggle for the tingle his breathe sent over your wet skin.

“You relaxed now?” You ask as your hands play dismissively with the bubbles in the water.

“Yeah”. He takes a few seconds to answer, and when he does, you can’t seem to believe in his words.

You turn your head to look at him, a furrow on your face. “Tom...”, you say in a concerned yet stern tone. “What’s up?”

He sighs and lifts his head from your neck. Chewing on his lips lightly, he looks at you. “I still feel kinda guilty. I mean, I was supposed to be working right now, and instead I’m taking a bath with you... It kinda of- embarrass me”, he confess, lowing his eyes to the water, a light pink flush on his cheeks.

You pout, feeling bad that he was still with that thought on his mind. Turning your body just enough to hold his face on your hands, you caress a finger on the smooth skin of his cheeks. “Tom, you shouldn’t be embarrassed for taking care of yourself. You’re just taking a day off, it’s not that big of a deal. No one would want you to have a breakdown in order to get work done, alright? Look at me”, you ask softly and he does so. “I’m so fucking proud of you, my love. Should never doubt that”.

His face lightens up a bit and you smile. “Okay?”

His eyes wander through your face, a bright shine on it as he seems to save every part of it. “Yeah. Thank you, darling”.

“Alright”, you smile wider. “Now, if you mind, I’d like to enjoy my bath”.

He laughs and holds you tighter, pressing his forehead to yours. “What would I do without you, my sweet girl?”

“Probably not much”, you joke, and he chuckles.

His voice is low and his face is centimeters away from yours. Two of his slender fingers rest on you chin as he brings you closer. “C’mere”.

It’s a matter of seconds until your lips as touching in a slow, sweet and soft kiss. It’s calming and relaxing, and you feel yourself melting in his arms. Tom parts his lips, and so do you, allowing his tongue to enter your mouth and touch yours seductively. Your hand goes straight to his neck, fingers curling up in his hair to bring him closer, deepening the kiss.

When he pulls away, his hands are on your waist, smoothing the bare skin. “Love you so much, darling”, he murmurs. “You’re just fucking perfect”.

You smile before bringing him to kiss you again. “Love you too, Tommy. So, so much”.

His lips are a little rougher now, tongues waging a battle as both of you get eager with the touching. You can feel his member pressed against your back getting hard, just in perfect sync with your pulsing heat, starting to claim for some sort of attention.

"Shit, that's relaxing", he says through kisses and you giggle, turning your body around to have a better angle. "Love these lips".

"Yeah?", you whimper as his mouth traces a new path, slowly going down your neck.

"Yeah" he breaths over the wet spot on your sensitive skin, and you shudder. "Love kissing your neck too. The way you get all excited 'bout it. Love how you get goosebumps over it. Always so responsive to me".

"You make me feel good, Tommy" you breath out, eyes closed as you enjoyed the moment.

His lips stops right on the edge of your shoulder, biting it slightly as a smirk makes its way to his face. When he's facing you again, you can tell his eyes are darker.

"Wanna make me relax, love?" He asks, voice husky. You nod once, fingers tightening on his hair.

"Tell me what can I do, Tommy?" You ask lowly, brushing your nose over his, though you knew the answer already.

Tom brings one hand to lay flat on your ass, squeezing it, while the other rested on your back. The tip of his tongue traces a wet path over your lower lip. "Ride me, darling, would you? Wanna feel you around me, this close".

"Mmm", you bite your lip to refrain a moan as you nod. You turn your body completely now, facing him, legs positioned to straddle him. He was hard already, his length pressed against his abs, the tip red and needy for you.

Tom's hand slides down your side from your back to your core, feeling your wetness and you buck your hips against his slender fingers. "Gonna prepare you for me, love".

He presses two fingers over your clit, rubbing it delicately in smooth circles as he watched your face draw all the pleasure. Though the feeling of him collecting your arousal to lead his fingers through your slit was already overtaking, you knew you wanted something else, so you touched his arm and pulled it away from you, taking his cock on your free hand.

"I want you now, baby. No foreplay".

He smirks lazily and helps you straighten your back, as you pumped him a few times, thumb caressing his tip and spreading the pre-cum. He growls, and you can see the veins on his neck outlining with the pleasure.

His grip on your ass gets more firm and you smile smugly as you position his cock right in your entrance. You brush it from your folds to your clit, teasing both of you a bit, before sinking down on him slowly. Tom closes his eyes at the sensation of your walls holding him tightly, coursing by every bit of his length that enters you.

You moan as soon as you feel him completely inside of you, walls adjusting to the stretch he gave you. Tom brings you closer, your boobs now pressed against his chest as both of you breath heavily.

“Shit”, he says. “So tight”, with the feeling of his teeth sinking on the skin of your shoulder, you buck your hips forward, to create some kind of friction, but Tom stops you right there. “Can we stay like this for a while?”

You look at him, hands grabbing his hair softly. “You don’t want me to move?”, you bite your lips when he nods, hands caressing your back up and down.

“Yeah. Wanna feel close to you and just-“ he breaths sharply and a deep groan comes through his throat at the feeling of your involuntary clenching, “just take it slow. Fuck, you’re gonna make it hard for me”.

You giggle and press your forehead to his. “I’ll behave”, you let out a heavy sigh. “You feel so good inside me. So deep”.

Tom takes the moment to kiss you, tongue slowly invading your mouth, in a messed way, as both of you released grunts and whines for the feeling of having each other so connected.

"You're so good to me, darling", he says when you pull apart, thumb tracing your puffy lips. You shudder at the feeling of his cock throbbing inside of you, closing your eyes briefly. "My gorgeous girl, taking such good care of me. Feels so snug around me, love".

You pant, biting hard in your lip as you find it extremely difficult not to move when your pussy clench at the sound of his words.

"Tommy, can't take it-" you breath out.

He squeezes your ass firmly, assaulting your neck with sloppy kisses. “Just a little more, pretty girl. Know you can”.

You moan when his lips connect with the sensitive skin bellow your ear.

“Shit”, you throw your head back. “Please, Tom”.

You can feel his smug smirk against your skin and want to slap him for that, but all is forgotten when he say, “It’s okay, darling, you can move now”.

You take it as your sign to move your hips up slowly, the friction getting more intense from the previous position. Your walls are sensitive, you can feel the wetness making it easier for you to move. “Fuck” you curse, gripping on his shoulders for dear life.

Tom tugged at your waist, helping you to stead a pace, when you sink down on him again. You started slow, just how you two felt like. His hands kept running on your skin, his mouth was glue to your ears, whispering motivating words to you.

“You’re so beautiful, riding me like this”

“Taking me so well”

“Gonna make me cum so hard”

His words were your fuel, and his touching ignited a fire inside of you. Soon, you were bouncing on top of him, water splashing everywhere, but you couldn’t care less about the mess on the floor. All you could focus about was the pleasure on Tom’s face, the way he gripped tight on your waist every time you swirled your hips and the need you had to chase your release.

“Fuck, Tom, I’m so close”, you moaned, hiding your face in the crock of your neck. You were growing tired, but still managed to keep moving. Noticing that you slowed down, Tom holds your hip and starts to buck his to meet with yours, his tip brushing on a special spot inside of you.

Your breathes were heavy, the sounds of the water among with skin slapping were all too much for you to take. Your rigid nipples were brushing against his toned chest, making you feel him everywhere. You moaned his name, clenching as your legs trembled. You knew you couldn’t last much longer.

“That’s it, baby” Tom panted, mouth on your ear as he bites your lobe. “C’mon, cum on my cock”.

And as easy as his command, you fell apart. The shocks ran through your body as Tom still pounded in you, chasing his release, following right after yours. Your walls clenched around him, riding both of you out of the recent orgasm.

A panting mess, the two of you stayed still, hugged tight on each other’s arms, catching your breath. You feel his length softening inside of you, and when you climb out of him, you feel his cum dripping out of your pussy too.

Tom had that light pink on his cheek, from the effort, and a beautiful brightness on his eyes. You smiled at him, who did the same and stretched his arms to reach you, holding your body just like when you entered the bathtub.

As he kissed the top of your head, you could hear his breathing still heavy and relaxed into his arms. After a few minutes of silence, just enjoying each other’s warmth, Tom speaks.

“Thank you, darling”, his words were soft, just like the brushing of the tip of his fingers on your face. “I mean, not for this”, he chuckled, and then sighed. “But for really taking care of me. You’re always so understanding”.

You turn your head and give him a sweet smile, full of the love you shared with the man of your life. “That’s because I love you, Tommy. And you don’t have to thank me for that”.

“I love you too, sweetheart. A lot”. He pressed a kiss to your lips.

Turning your soft smile into a smirk, you add, “Are you feeling more relaxed now, though?”

He laughs and kiss your cheek. “Absolutely”, licking his lips, he watches you with bight eyes. “But I’d love to repeat the relaxation session”.

…………………

Taglist: (add yourself to my taglist here)

@pinkrockstar19 @onyourgoddamnleft @spideyspeaches @miraclesoflove @zspideyy

#tom x reader #tom holland #tom holland blurbs #tom holland imagines #tom holland fic #tom holland smut #request #anon #boyfriend!tom #Tom smut

[sunny-flower-girl-01]

Ohana- A Hawaii Five-0 Fanfic  Chapter Seven

Hey guys.

So first I would like to apologize for it taking me almost a year to get back to this story. Life kicked my butt pretty hard this year, both good and bad. I really was not intending to abandon this fic, I just wasn't able to sit down and write like I was able to when I started it.

I hope this chapter isn't too disappointing (I kinda didn't do my editing that I normally do, which isn't great anyway but oh well). I really just wanted to get it posted so I can start writing again now that some things have calmed down and I can start to focus on my self a little more.

Please enjoy!

Edwards’ Residence:

Rachel crouched down on the floor against the wall furthest from the bathroom door. If she knew Stan was going to be the drunkest she had ever seen him when she got home, she would have kept Grace and gone out with Thea and Nora like their original plan. When Stan called her and asked her to come home so they could speak some more about their upcoming divorce, Rachel wasn’t all that thrilled. She knew that it was unavoidable, so she made arrangements to drop Grace off with Danny. She knew he was getting suspicious about the amount of time she was letting him have with Grace recently, but still hadn’t worked herself up to telling Danny her marriage failed because of her feelings for him. After the way she treated him throughout their divorce and the whole marriage to Stan, she didn’t see that going over well.

Rachel quickly tried to find her cell phone in her maxi-dress pockets and cursed silently when she remembered dropping it in the living room when Stan came after her. She hoped she was able to call Thea before she dropped it.

“ Open the fucking door Rachel, before I break it down!” Stan yelled angrily, beating his fist on the door. Rachel closed her eyes and slid farther down the wall and onto her knees, trying her best to keep her sobs quiet, even though he already knew she was in there. She knew the little lock on the door wasn’t going to hold Stan very long. Rachel had seen him break through one of them before when Grace accidentally locked herself in the bathroom and the keys they had weren’t working.

Keys.

She prayed he didn’t remember where the keys were in his drunken state. With her hand that wasn’t smashed from Stan trying to keep her out of the bathroom, she reached up on the shelf to grab her hair dryer, ready to chuck it at him if he made it through the door. She closed her eyes and waited for him to barg in, but suddenly it wasn’t just Stan’s voice she could hear.

“Stanley! Put the knife down!” She heard what sounded like Steve.

‘My call must have made it through’ She thought.

Everything started happening quickly. There was a loud thud, a grunt, and a soft knock at the door.

“Rachel… You can come out babe.” That was Danny. Rachel quickly threw the hair dryer to the ground and rushed over to the door. After a moment of struggling with the lock due to her hand, she slung the door open and threw herself into Danny’s arms.

Danny smoothed her hair out of her face. “Hey, hey, it’s okay… He’s outside, he’s in handcuffs, he’s not going to hurt you again.” He continued to stroke her hair as he pulled her out of the hallway and towards the living room.

The next while was a blur. Danny got her to a paramedic who was currently wrapping her wrist in a bandage, another was addressing a cut she hadn’t noticed she had on her head. Danny spoke with Steve, but he couldn’t hear what they were saying. Kono and Chin, who had arrived a few minutes after Steve and Danny were taking pictures of the trashed house. While it broke Rachels heart to look around and see her home destroyed, a small part of her knew this wasn’t really her home anymore and it hadn’t been for a long time.

Kono came up to Rachel once the medic was done patching her head. “Hey Rachel,” Kono paused to smile at her. Rachel looked up, a bit startled. “Is it alright if I take a picture of your wrist and the cut on your head?”

Rachel nodded, setting her wrist down and tilting her head so the Hawaiian woman could get a clear shot of it.

“Do you have any other marks on you? We can get pictures of them later, I just thought we could get them all out of the way for you now.” Kono said kindly.

Rachel ran her hand up her arm, as if she was trying to calm herself down. “Uhm, I-I don’t know.”

“If you find any later, we’ll take a picture of them so we can document them, okay?” Danny butted in as he walked over. “Stan’s downtown. Knowing his connections, he is probably going to post bail as soon as he’s sobered up. I don’t want you here when he’s released, so pack a bag and I’ll take you down to the Hilton, okay? I’ll get a bag packed for Grace too.”

At the mention of Grace, Rachel shot up from her seat. “Grace! Where’s Grace?” Danny could tell Rachel was starting to panic. He pulled her in for a hug, knowing that he’s always been one of the few people who have been able to calm Rachel down. Even married to Stan, Danny was the one person who could rile her up and have her completely calmed down in a span of 5 minutes.

“Grace is at Steve’s house with Thea. She’s safe. I have a patrol unit outside the house just in case.” He said so soothingly as he led Rachel towards the stairs. He wanted to get her out of this house.

For more reasons than one.

Steve McGarrett’s House, later that night:

Thea hummed softly to herself as she cleaned up the dishes that she and the girls used for dinner. Thankfully, Kamekona was more than happy to drop off some garlic shrimp for the three of them. Thea was too nervous and worried to think about driving, and poor Grace was scared out of her mind. Neither Thea or Danny told Grace what was going on, but she was a smart girl, she knew something was wrong with her mom.

Having Nora to play on the beach with was a great distraction but it didn’t stop her from asking questions about when her dad was coming to get her or when she was able to go see her mom.

Thea understood how she felt. She wouldn’t go so far to say her father was physically abusive. Emotionally abusive and neglectful, absolutely. There was one time she heard her father hit her mother. They were arguing in his office at their house, she had her ear pressed up to the door to try and overhear what they were talking about. She still doesn’t know what it was about, but she knew it was about her. She overheard that what she was positive was a slap in the face. She ran to her room and didn’t come out the rest of the night, not that anyone noticed. Since then she had never seen a bruise on her mother and her father from then on was never home or alone with either of them long enough to do anything. It wasn’t until her mother got pregnant with Nora that her father started coming home for longer stretches of time, but she was out of the house by then, so she didn’t concern herself with what her ‘parents’ were doing until Nora came along.

As she laid the freshly washed dishes in the drying rack, Thea felt a presence behind her. She put the girls in the guest bedroom with a Disney movie about an hour ago.

“Girls, I thought I told you it was time for bed. What are you doing up?” She asked without turning around or looking up in the window to see who was behind her.

“I can’t go to sleep without you tucking me in.” Her head whipped around at the male voice.

Steve grinned at her, leaning up against the doorframe of the kitchen door. Thea quickly dried her hands off and walked closer to him. “Is Rachel okay? What happened? He didn’t-”

Steve cut her off, putting his hands on her shoulders to rub them. “No, Rachel is fine. Danny took her to a hotel tonight, so she’s not home if Stan makes bail. She doesn’t want Grace to see her until her cheek and forehead heal a little more. So I told her and Danny that we’d help out.”

Thea nodded. She moved her right hand up his arm to the hand on her shoulder. “How bad was it?” She whispered, looking up at him.

Steve sighed and removed his hand from her shoulder to scratch his face. “Pretty bad. Her hand was smashed in the doorway, her cheek is bruised, and she has a gash on her forehead that luckily didn’t need stitches.”

“You think he’s going to make bail?”

“I hope not. While 5-0 has the resources and the ability to keep him, we don’t want to give him more ammunition since Danny is so close to this. We don’t want to make it worse when they finally divorce. Especially since we have the resources to protect Rachel and Grace.” Steve said. He took Thea’s hand and started to walk her to the stairs. “Come on, it’s late and it’s been a long day.”

Thea followed him up, noticing how he took the stairs a little slower than normal for her benefit. “I put the girls to sleep in the guest room a bit ago. I just didn’t have the energy or the mindset to drive back to my place. I’m sor-“

“Don’t. I’m glad you stayed. Danny and I felt better knowing the three of you were here. We had a patrol car parked out front just in case.”

Thea frowned. “What? I didn’t even notice.” A part of her wanted to kick herself for not noticing a cop right out front.

Steve shook his head. “We told him to stay parked a few yards back so no one would notice.”

Thea nodded. “Well the girls are in the guest room, so I’ll just sleep on the futon in the other room.”

Steve immediately stopped her from walking down the hallway. “Absolutely not. That thing is so uncomfortable I won’t even make Danny sleep on it. You take my room, I’ll crash on the couch downstairs.”

Thea gave him a smile, shaking her head. She found the gesture sweet but she really didn’t want to impose on him. This thing- whatever it was- was still about 24 hours old. “No, I don’t want to kick you out of your room Steve. I really don’t mind to go back dow-“

Steve interrupted her again. “Pregnant or not, I’m not going to make you sleep on the futon or the couch, Thea. Please just take my bed.”

Thea sighed before nodding. “Okay fine.” She leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you.” She whispered. It wasn’t just a thank you for giving up his bed. It was for the entire day, for protecting her friend.

Steve’s hand backed up to cup the back of her neck as he kissed her temple. “You don’t have to thank me for that.” He caught her meaning.

“Yes I do.” She moved her hand up to his cheek. “You don’t let people hurt your family. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in this.”

Steve pressed his forehead to hers. “My family’s safety is the most important thing to me. That includes you and Nora now. I won’t let anything happen to either of you.”

Thea’s breath caught in her throat. She moved her other hand up to his face to pull him down for a kiss. Before their lips could touch they both whipped their heads around to the sound of a door opening. Grace's half asleep face peeped out of the guest bedroom.

“Aunt Thea?” She mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

Thea quickly moved away from Steve and over to the little girl. “What’s wrong baby?” She pushed the bed head off of Grave’s forehead. Grace finally looked up and saw Steve standing in the hallway. She rushed over to him, throwing her arms up to him. Steve quickly crouched down to her height and wrapped her up in his arms.

“Where’s mommy and Danno?”

“They had something important they had to take care of tonight, but I promise I’ll take you to see them tomorrow okay?” Steve tried to comfort her. He could tell she was a little upset by not knowing what was going on. But he knew Grace was a smart girl and could tell that whatever it was, wasn’t good.

“Mommy?” Nora's voice came from the bedroom. Thea left the two in the hallway and walked into the bedroom.

“Did we wake you baby?” She asked, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Nora. She pulled the blanket up and encouraged her to lay back down.

“Who’s here? Where’s Grace?” Nora cuddled back down in the blue comforter.

“Just Steve. Grace is out there with him, she’ll be back in a minute.” Thea stroked her hair and forehead. “Just go back to sleep baby.”

A few moments later, Steve walked in with Grace and helped her climb back into bed. Once they thought they had the girls settled, they both quietly tried to exit the room. But where stopped again by a noise.

“Mommy?”

“Uncle Steve?”

Both their heads turned to the girls.

“Will you lay with us?” Grace asked.

Thea smiled softly at her before looking at Steve, who also had a small smile on his face. Thea nodded and walked over to Nora’s side of the bed. She might as well get used to having to share a bed for once the twins come. “Of course we will. Make some room for us, huh?”

Grace and Nora huddled close in the middle of the bed while Thea and Steve got on either side of them. After some more moving around everyone was comfortable and ready to go back to sleep. Steve stretched his arm out to rest around the two smaller bodies and lay on Thea’s side. His thumb rubbed tiny circles on her bump. Thea moved her arm out to move closer to the three of them, her arm resting on Steve’s arm. He stared at her over the pillows.

He too really couldn’t ask for a better partner in this.

#Steve McGarrett #Hawaii Five 0 #CHIN HO KELLY #Danny Williams #danny danno williams #rachel edwards #grace williams #Kono Kalakaua #hawaii five o imagine #five 0

[fruitcoops]

If you’re up for more of a series could you possibly write the part of Remus recovering at home after leaving the game (the one with the stick to the face) and Sirius having to take care of him and all that?

Yes, I can! I’m so glad you guys are enjoying the continuation of something I wrote so long ago <3 Side note: I would give my left foot to be part of the Lions groupchat. Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for bruises and blood

Sirius was worried. Even though Remus claimed he felt fine, he was just fine, everything was fine, a small seed of doubt lingered in the back of his mind. He had dozed off in the car on the way home—Sirius’ heart had stuttered for a moment before the swelling-enhanced snores started. His phone lit up every few seconds, but he didn’t dare take his eyes off the road for even a millisecond, just in case.

Remus woke when the car stopped and immediately winced. “What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, taking the hand that rested on his thigh.

“Just hurts.” Remus kissed his knuckles as best he could. His skin felt strange, and the edge of the tape was an unfamiliar sensation next to the softness of his lips. Sirius collected their gear from the trunk, then helped him up the front steps; just as he went to unlock the door, he felt Remus’ hand tighten on his forearm. “I hate not being able to see well.”

Sirius kissed his temple. “That’s what you’ve got me for.”

Hattie stopped in her tracks as soon as the door opened, and Remus frowned. “Hatters? Where are you, sweet girl?”

“She’s here.” Sirius whistled for her and crouched, setting their bags aside while Remus sat crosslegged on the floor and held his arms out. Hattie’s tail wagged low, almost as if she was afraid; she glanced up at Sirius, who tilted his head back toward Remus. “Go on, mon chou, he’s not going to break.”

“C’mere,” Remus said softly, shifting in her direction. “C’mere, babycakes. I need some cuddles right now—there we go. Okay, Hat Trick, okay.”

Sirius carefully closed the door as Hattie climbed into Remus’ lap and let him hug her, resting her chin on his shoulder. “Good girl,” Sirius said softly. A quiet sniffle led to a flinch. “Re? What’s wrong?”

“I fucking love our dog.” His voice sounded even more clogged than before.

“Are you alright?”

“It really hurts.” A shuddering breath made Hattie nuzzled closer. “Hey, good girl. I love you.”

Sirius sat down next to them and wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulder, tracing a pattern with his thumb. “Deep breaths. You can take more Tylenol in a few hours. Let’s go get some ice, yeah?”

“Can I stay here with her?”

“Of course.” Sirius kissed the top of his head and gave Hattie a gentle pet before walking into the kitchen and grabbing an ice pack out of the freezer, as well as a towel to wrap it. The last thing Remus needed was a freezer-burned bruise. They were in the same position when he came back, though Remus raised his head from her thick fur when he heard him coming. “I’m going to put it on your face, okay?”

“Okay.” Remus sighed when the ice pressed against his eye and one hand came up to cradle Sirius’, running carefully down to his wrist. “Love you.”

“I love you, too. I was thinking about making some soup if you want to hang here for a bit.”

Remus nodded silently, though his lower lip wobbled in the one spot it wasn’t puffy. Sirius carefully transferred the ice pack to his hand and ran his thumbs over Remus’ cheekbones—usually they were sharp enough to cut glass, but now they were purple and overheated under his touch. He kissed each one before going back to the kitchen.

After grabbing some soup from the freezer and turning the stove on, he finally took his phone out. You Have: 20 New Messages

Message From: J ;)

Did you get home safe?

Call me when u can

Lil is worried ☹

Tell Re we send big hugs

 Message From: Tremz <3

Lmk when you get home

Leo is making soup for u

Bringing it over demain matin and won’t let us have any :(((

 Message From: Bliz

Nat sends her love for Re

Remember ice packs and NO IBUPROFEN DUMBASS

Ily

 Message From: Dumo

Sa mère est inquiète

Send text when home safe, love you

 Message From: Walkie Talkie :P

U okay? Sending lots of love

Lmk if you need soup or smth <3

 Message From: Hope <3

Thank you for the call honey <3

Tell Remus not to look at his phone and keep us updated please

Love you so much <3

 Message From: Baby Rookie

I’m bringing y’all soup and that’s a threat

NO IBUPROFEN OR I’LL TP UR HOUSE

Big hugs for Re <333

 Sirius laughed under his breath.

Message To: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

Home safe. Re is fine, getting lots of cuddles from Hattie. Thanks for the messages.

 He sent a few more texts to the individual people and, after a quick conversation with Hope, stirred the soup until it began to bubble. Remus entered the kitchen a few seconds after he took two bowls out of the cupboard. “Smells good.”

“It does. Are the lights bugging you?”

“Nah. At least I can see.”

Sirius poured out two portions and set one in front of Remus, handing him a spoon as well. “Careful, it’s hot.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Can’t cook it cold.”

Sirius’ phone began to ping several times in rapid succession and he turned the ringer off quickly, checking the screen to make sure there wasn’t an emergency. “Leo’s bringing us soup in the morning.”

“Neat. Is everyone else okay?” Remus blew the steam off his spoon.

“The guys are all worried about you.” Sirius glanced back up, only to see Remus staring down at his soup bowl, frozen in place. “Re? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Is this my mom’s?” he asked in a small voice.

Sirius wracked his brain. “…I think so? It was in the freezer. Is that okay?”

He nodded silently and a tear dripped down his cheek. “ ‘s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He reached across the counter and pressed Remus’ hand between his own, wiping his cheek dry.

“God, I miss them. You called her, right? To let her know I’m fine?”

“I did. She told me to give you something.”

Remus’ eyebrows drew together and he looked up. “What?”

Sirius scooted around the table and wrapped his arms around Remus, pulling him in for a tight hug and pressing his face into his curls. “This.”

“Thank you.” Remus went a little boneless against him. “I needed that.”

“I bet. Do you want me to give them another call so you can talk to her?”

Remus squinted at the clock. “It’s pretty late.”

“They’re still awake.”

“Could we?” Remus dug around in his pocket and handed it to Sirius, who dialed Hope’s number and put it on speakerphone.

The call connected on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, mom.”

“Are you okay, love?” Hope sounded like she was on the verge of tears already. “You sound a little funny.”

“A little banged up, but I’m alright.” Remus gripped Sirius’ hand tightly. “We heated up the soup you left us.”

“Oh, I’m so glad. Have you taken any Tylenol? Ibuprofen is bad for bruises, but I don’t know how much pain you’re in.” Her voice hitched at the end of the sentence.

“Mom, it’s okay,” Remus said gently. “It’s okay, I promise I’m fine. It looked worse than it was.”

Looks pretty bad to me. “Hestia took really good care of him,” Sirius said instead. “We got home safe and we’re icing up now.”

“What’s the healing look like? Sirius said you didn’t have a concussion.”

Thank you, Remus mouthed before turning back to the phone. “About two weeks, mostly for the little scrapes.”

The ‘little scrapes’ were held together by strips of medical tape, but once again, Sirius kept his thoughts to himself. “The blood was just a regular old nosebleed and a cut on the lip.”

Hope paused and they heard a new voice in the background. “Alright. Is it okay if Jules and your father say goodnight?”

“Yeah, totally.” Remus sniffled and Sirius silently handed him a tissue.

The line crackled for a moment. “Re?”

“Hey, buddy!” All trace of pain and exhaustion disappeared from his voice. “How’s it going?”

“Are you still bleeding?”

“Nope, my nose is a-okay. I’ve got a pretty cool black eye, though. Kinda look like a pirate.”

“The announcers were saying you were really hurt.” Jules’ voice wavered and Sirius’ heart broke a bit.

“Well, they were wrong.” Remus leaned closer to the phone, as if he could reach right through it. “In two weeks I’ll be good as new. I was really lucky.”

“Okay,” Jules still sounded unsure. “Mom says I have to go to bed.”

“Yeah, it’s late, buddy. Sleep well. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

There was a rustling noise. “Remus?”

“Hey, dad.” The exhaustion returned and Sirius rubbed his back gently, letting him lean on his shoulder.

After a moment of hesitation, Lyall sighed. “Alright, they’re in the other room. What actually happened?”

“High stick from the Ravens caught me in the face. No concussion, just bruises and swelling.”

“Do I want to ask Sirius to send me a picture?”

Remus winced. “Probably not.”

He sighed again. “I’m sorry we can’t come out and see you.”

“Don’t worry about it, dad,” Remus said softly. “Really, I’m okay. It sucks, it hurts, I’ll ice it and be fine.”

“Sirius, are you there?”

“I’m here.”

“If he starts pulling some ‘go back to practice early’ bullshit—”

“Dad—”

“—don’t let him. If you have to lock him in the bathroom, I promise to cover for you.”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius laughed.

Lyall chuckled on the other end as Remus groaned. “Love you.”

“Love you, too. If Sirius locks me in a bathroom, I’m citing you in the court case.”

“There won’t be enough witnesses if he does it right. Sleep well, kiddo. Thanks for calling.”

“Love you,” Remus said again as the call ended. He blew out a long breath and leaned his forehead on Sirius’ chest. “Thank you for that.”

“Ne rien, mon loup. You should eat and then take a shower.”

“Are you saying I smell?” Remus teased.

“Yes, I am. I also think you’ll feel better if you do.”

They ate in silence; both were hungry, so it wasn’t long before Remus walked carefully up the stairs. Sirius checked the groupchat as he poured himself a third bowl of soup. You Have: 7 New Messages.

Message From: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

DETAILS CAP

That is the blandest fucking response I’ve ever read

I’m guessing y’all are alive then???

Y’all

Haha y’all

Ok gator boy

Give Hattie lots of kisses from us and also GIVE US DETAILS

 Message To: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

What do you want to know??? We got home, ate soup, called parents, and now Re is showering

You’re so fucking nosy jfc

Also cut Rookie some slack it’s hard being so far from his swamp

 Message From: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

From the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.

He doesn’t have to he has Remus

Pots I’m going to remove your kneecaps

 Sirius paused just before responding. Despite the quiet of the house, he couldn’t hear the shower running. “Re?”

“Up here.”

“Did you take a shower already?”

“Not yet.”

The bathroom door was ajar and the light was on when he entered their bedroom; Remus stood at the sink, staring into the mirror as he felt along the edges of the butterfly tape at his lip. “Did something happen?”

“It’s worse than I thought.” Sirius stepped inside and joined him, staring at their reflections. The stripes that marked the stick’s edges had turned almost indigo since they left the rink; no less than six pieces of tape decorated the places between mottled bruises. Remus reached up to touch his cheekbone and Sirius guided his hand back down.

“Poking it won’t help.”

“Two weeks, huh?”

“That’s what Hestia told me.”

“Will you help me get the tape off?”

Sirius patted the edge of the counter and Remus pushed himself up on it, leaning forward for easy access. The first one was easy—a small cut just below his brow. It slid away without an issue and Sirius pressed a gentle kiss to the spot, then moved on to the next one. They fell into a rhythm—one side, second side, slow pull, and a kiss, until only two were left.

Remus hissed in pain as he lifted the edge of the tape across the bridge of his nose and Sirius shushed him softly, moving to the other side. “Two more, sweetheart.”

“Just rip it off.”

Sirius gave him a look. “Absolutely not.”

“I’ll do it.”

“No, you won’t, because that would be a stupid idea.”

Remus huffed, but didn’t protest. His jaw ticked as Sirius pulled the last bit off. “Can we leave the lip one?”

“Not unless you want an infection.”

“You’d be a good PT.”

“I would be the worst PT.” Sirius worked the inner edge free. “I know, like, ten stretches and basic first aid. My bedside manner sucks, too, and I’d pass the fuck out if someone asked me to set a bone for them.”

“Good points all around,” Remus laughed.

The motion pulled the last of the tape off and Sirius held it up with a grin. “All done. Hey, your swelling is down. I can see your eyes now.”

The slight gleam of amber brightened as Remus smiled. “I thought I could see a little better.”

“Do you want company?”

Remus thought for a moment, prodding the cut on his lip with his tongue. “As much as I’d love to invite you in, I think I need a second to myself.”

“Cool.” Sirius kissed his cheek and stepped out of the bathroom. “Yell if you need anything. I’ll be in bed.”

He made a pit stop downstairs to gather Hattie and bring Remus’ ice pack up, and by the time he finally slid between the sheets it was nearly midnight. Remus came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, looking happier but still incredibly worn out. He took another Tylenol and snuggled up against Sirius’ side with a quiet hum, laying the ice pack over his face once again.

“Sleep tight, Re.”

“Love you.”

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Coffee - T. Holland

Okay, I know I have requests but this song came on at work the other day and I felt super emotional and I had to write. The use of Tom was very last minute because I had no actual person in mind for the fic, and there are very little actual defining characteristics so you can imagine it to be absolutely anybody you want!

This has broken me, so I apologize in case it has the same affect.

TW: This story contains mentions of cancer, allusions to death, mentions of death, sadness, angst, allusion to suicide, a character with cancer, and all round sadness about death.

If this content may trigger you in any way possible, please do not engage with this fic. Your personal safety and wellness is important so please take care of yourself, my lovies.

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17. Please do not copy, translate or share outside of the boundaries of tumblr without my permission. Please do not steal my work and market it as your own. Basically, don’t be a dick. Also, the above gif does not belong to me. Credit to @thollandgifs

Also, sorry the format is shit. I write on my phone so it’s hella bad.

Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head. It'll get you up and going out of bed.

While his life stood still, hers moved. Most days he could barely move without the nausea taking over. His head pounding, body exhausted and weak beyond recognition. She had established a routine the minute she could. She made sure he had his morning coffee everyday. Whenever his eyes opened, she would be right by his side with his favourite beverage, bringing him breakfast and a warm, loving smile to entice him to get out of bed. She understood on days that his body fought him more than it already was - she was compassionate and considerate. On those days she would help him prop himself in a comfortable position, switch on whatever show they were watching at the time and curl up next to him with her work beside her.

His heart was often overwhelmed with the care she provided him. They were well into the fourth year of their life together, and he had no doubt in his mind that he would love her until his last days. He often solemnly thought of the ring he still had hidden in his drawer of their shared cabinet. He had made a vow to pop the question if he ever recovered, but the thought of that day never coming simply tore another piece from his already dwindling soul.

He would often sit in his chair, or on the bed in their small, studio apartment, watching her flutter around the house in a graceful way only she could. He had memorized her every move when she conducted the most mundane activity. The way she poured a glass of water, the way she tapped her fingers against her thigh to the tune of a theme song, the way she always made his coffee to pure perfection - in a way that nobody else had been able to do.

He had so much love for her, that he was terrified of it slipping away at any moment.

Yeah, I don't wanna fall asleep, I don't wanna pass away. I been thinking of our future 'cause I'll never see those days.

He was 24, and she was 25. They had already planned a life together. They had steady jobs, an intense and passionate love, names picked out for future children, dinner at his parents house every Sunday, lunch with her parents every Wednesday.

He just knew that he had done something to deserve such a fate. At first he was angry, terrified of the possibility of his soul leaving this earth, but as time went on, his self-deprivation grew. Apparently it was common for people in his situation. The fear of dying was clouded by a justification that this was meant to be. He had done something terrible in a past life, and karma was giving him the painful ending he deserved... but he despised the thought, because Y/N didn’t deserve to watch her boyfriend meet his end in this way.

He had thought of near every scenario in his life in which he hurt somebody - cheating on his girlfriend in his first year of college, letting Y/N down time after time, only for her to forgive him. The hurt he caused his parents when he was a teenager and full of such hate for the world. But now, all he could do was pray for forgiveness. He had hope that there was some way he could make it out of this, but he was losing hope rapidly.

Even as he sat with his love on their bed, watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

“When I’m gone,” his voice was croaky, his throat dry and scratchy. “Please tell me you will find somebody else.” He fumbled around to grab her hand, winching as he caught her head snapping towards his in his peripheral vision. He couldn’t turn to see the expression on her face. “You’re so young, so full of life. Your life is going to be so beautiful.”

Her hand was pulled from his, and he steeled what was left of his nerves to get ready for whatever tongue lashing she had planned, but instead he felt the bed dip further beside him, her hands framing his sullen face on each side and softly turning his gaze to meet her own.

“Don’t you say things like that, Tom.” He forced his eyes to stare into her own. His eyes seemed as if they were always ready to release tears, and the intensity of the hurt in her own made his pool unconsciously. “There is no somebody else when the other half of my soul is already with me. I don’t need anybody else because you’re not going anywhere.”

Her thumb brushed away the tear that slipped from his chocolate orbs, ignoring the dark circles underneath that made his face seem further sunken than it was.

“You don’t know that,” he sniffed heavily, dropping his eyes down to his lap. His fingers unconsciously toyed with the bracelet she had given him years ago. A soft, black, faux-leather band. An unfit symbol charm dangled close to the strap, reminding him of her favourite line from her favourite book/movie - the perks of being a wallflower. He had gone wuth her when she got the titular floral piece tattooed on her forearm. She was so happy that day. “One day you’re gonna be in a nice house, a ring on your finger, watching your husband dote over your little baby and you will be at peace in the way I know you crave. I just... I know that will never be me, who slips a ring onto your hand, or waits for you at the end of the aisle. I won’t be the one who holds your hand when you meet your baby, or the one who can give you the life you deserve - the one you want.”

His eyes snapped up to meet her own when he heard her breath grow shaky, but the action caused his brain to lose its equilibrium and he had to close his eyes for a moment. He hated doing so. Every time his eyes were shut, it was a moment that he lost of memorizing every line, curve, angle of her body. He opened his eyes again when able, and he was met with her own eyes as red rimmed as his, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

“Don’t you every talk like that, Thomas Stanley. You’re not going anywhere. You’re going to be the one to do all of those things because you’re going to make it and we are going to love each other until the end of our time, together. I’ll fucking Romeo and Juliet this shit if I have to,” her dark joke was met with a wet laugh from them both, before her face melted back into seriousness. “I’m never gonna need another person, Tommy. I have you, and I will have you forever.”

“You make every day a blessing, my love.” He whispered, his lips ghosting over hers as he gathered the strength in his lead arms to pull her into a hug. “You make hell feel like a summers day, and I cherish every moment I have left with you.”

My life was kinda short, but I got so many blessings. Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending

Their days continued on for another three weeks, the same routine of morning coffee and testing the boundaries of his own fatigue. Three weeks without the dreaded conversation arising again, until she woke to find him staring into the ceiling with such an intense and thoughtful gaze. She knew instantly what was on his mind, and she could feel her heart breaking into more little pieces.

“Tommy?” Her melodic tone was soft, snapping him from his nightmarish reprieve. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing honey. Thinking about us... when we were young and full of life,” he snorted into the dark room, Y/N’s soft laugh pushed through her nose and he felt her smile against his neck. “Just, thinking about how sorry I am for all of this. I’m sorry that I’ve turned your life upside down, that we have changed so much.”

He felt weaker. His body was fighting to hold on, and he felt that they both knew that. He was being eaten up from the inside out, but he couldn’t bear to leave. He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t leave her alone. He needed her, he loved her. He wanted to be her husband and give her everything she wanted in life. He wanted to live, for her.

“I would change everything if it meant I could be here with you,” her voice was heavy, riddled with sleep. Neither of them get much rest anymore. He is always up and down, and she frets too much to sleep through his late night jolts and retches. “You’re worth every minute of every day, Tom. You have nothing to apologize for. It’s not like you chose to have Can-“

“Don’t say it, baby, please?” He pled, silencing her before she could say the word. He hadn’t once uttered it since the day he found out. She had relayed the information to their families, holding his hand the entire time as he sat motionless. “Makes it more real than my emo ramblings.” His laugh was humorless, but he didn’t intend it to be so.

She apologised softly, snuggling closer to him. She knew how much he loved the feel of her body on his, how the intimacy of the comfort made him feel warm. Back when he could handle the weight, she would sometimes wake up curled on top of his chest because he had sought her out in his sleep.

“I would do anything for you, Tommy. I would give up everything I have just to see you smile. You’re the other half of my soul, my infinity.”

He felt a tear slip down his cheek. Her words always had that affect on him, but he loved the way she could send his heart beating with no effort. He loved her. So intensely.

“Sing to me, please?” A request he had let loose so many times before. He adored her voice, and the soft melodies that fell from her lips and lulled him to sleep.

She obliged with a smile on her face, and let the words tumble into his pale skin.

“If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do...”

Soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me

Two more months passed. His doctors were satisfied, stating that he was slowly improving. His body was beginning to regain strength. He had begun to grow more hopeful, slowly but surely.

Until there was no chance for hope left.

Y/N made his morning coffee, but when she went to rest it on his bedside, he could barely breathe.

Her fingers dialed emergency services faster than she thought possible, her voice cracking as she sung to him over and over, hands cradling his head in her lap as he whispered his love for her.

The coffee went cold as the red and blue lights approached.

Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head. It'll get you up and going out of bed

Tag list: @starshonerose @snookiebrookie @another-lonely-heart @mantlereid

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#tom holland angst #tom holland #tom holland x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker #spiderman #caz writes #deathbed #(coffee for your head) #I’m so sorry #I’m so emotional #this hits home so I had to write it #angst #marvel