#a guy whos holding on to so much grief and anger but he keeps getting up and pushing on yk

[peachesofteal]

The dead disco break up Pregnancy au got me in my feels all day. Literally all day.

And all I can think about is when the guys get home? Find her not at the apartment and they’re both like, “can’t blame her, I get it” and are over come with guilt. Their own relationship getting a little rocky. Maybe Johnny gets frustrated more easily with Simon. Simon withdrawals a little more into himself bc that’s how he handles pain and grief. But they make it through. They always do. Until they find out about darling and the baby. However that happens, be it in a grocery store or whatever. But Simon comes from a very traumatized childhood. He sees the baby and just knows. That’s their kid. And is overcome with so much grief bc now he’s no worse that his dad is he? What’s worse than someone that’s there and beats you? Someone that’s not there at all. Not knowing. And he has always promised himself he’d never be like his father, but than this is just too close to comfort.

I imagine he surprises not only himself but Johnny and darling the most when he ends up doing something drastic. There were no words he had to defend himself or Johnny. He’d be mature. Whatever it takes, whatever darling needed just let him be in his child’s life, let him be in your life, let him do better. Don’t LET HIM HAVE THIS WEIGHT ON HIS SHOULDERS.

Darling would have more whiplash than Johnny but even Johnny is taken back by the lengths Simon would go? (Getting out the military? Domestic security and law enforcement jobs so he can be home? Idk?) but Simon just comes out of no where, with “I’m here. I’m not going no where. I’ll spend the rest of my life making this right.” Bc he does love darling and he does love Johnny, but that kid? He’d move heaven and hell for that kid. It was Ryan Reynolds who was like “I love my wife, love her more than anything. Then we had our baby girls and realized I would use my wife as a human shield to protect my kids” As a joke of course but it’s to that extent. Simons 2 priority’s become taking care of that child and mending the relationship between the three of them, not bc he loves them (he totally does, and his devotion to his partners is infallible) BUT BECAUSE that kid needs to know what healthy relationships are based out of love and communication not grief and missed social cues and resentment.

Simon takes fatherhood seriously. Most serious job there is. And he’s not going to let darling’s (low key selfish) feelings of betrayal and self deprecation keep him from taking care of his child and said mother of that child.

———

Johnny however? He’s the one that’s hesitant surprisingly. He’s hurt. Beyond hurt that you wouldn’t tell them something like this. It’s the adult thing to at least say something right? Even if they did leave. This is more than them now. And he goes along with Simons initiative to fix all of this but Johnny needs some serious reassurance and maybe an outlet for all this anger and hurt he has. And there’s so much going on that it’s easy for Simon and darling to kinda miss that a little bit,

Until Johnny doesn’t want to hold the baby. Says he’s scared he’d drop it. But Simon knows better.

Johnny feels lost.

Darling feels lost.

Simon is their beacon of light in the darkness.

It comes down to the sexiest night known to human existence, and a lot of crying and confessions while fucking all those emotions out. Simon has always known how to get these two to let down their walls. Breakfast is for figuring out detail’s schedules ect. But that night? That was them fixing it. Letting go and moving forward. In the sexiest. Way. Possible.

^look what you’ve done to me. I’m serving alcohol at a bar thinking about these characters, THE DISTRACTION IS REAL AND I NEED MORE.

You’re fantastic. I hate you for doing this to my brain. Love ya!

Um… hi? Hello? Come back. Let’s talk about this more, let’s break it down. I am obsessed with this. I love this. 🩵🩵

Simon goes into protective overdrive the second he see’s you. Not sure how or when or where it happens, but Bee is not even two months old, and he doesn’t even need to ask you. She’s so little, cocooned in a linen wrap, cradled to your chest, and he already knows. How could that baby be anyone’s but their own?

He does exactly as you’ve described, drops everything and retires early. Price and Johnny always thought he’d make captain soon, but none of that matters now. His military aspirations have meant less and less every year since he met Johnny, and meeting you only sped his career’s ultimate demise along.

He’s not going to let the cycle repeat. He’s not going to let his child grow up and feel like they’ve been abandoned by him. He’s not going to let Bee grow up without him being there. Loving her. Supporting her. He won’t be his father. He refuses.

You agree to let them see her, and agree to let them take her for nights or days if they’d like. But you won’t let them in. Won’t do much more than co parent with them, won’t engage in anything real with them, won’t give them a single inch. You stonewall them, block them out, give them excuses and refusals at every turn. Sure, they can be in their daughter’s life… but they can’t be in yours.

While Bee is important, you are too. He wouldn’t use you as a shield to save her, he’d save you both. There’s no option. No choice. You’re the love of their lives, the now mother of his child. He’d lay down and die for you.

But none of that matters. You won’t let them in.

It drives Simon insane. He’s understanding, and mature about it, and patient (compared to Johnny, who’s running hot over it… frustrated, agitated, consistently visibly upset, holding onto his anger and resentment over the fact you never came forward and even told them about Bee. Johnny can’t get over that you went through everything alone… can’t understand why you wouldn’t tell them, give them a chance to be there for you.. and it stings. It hurts him, so fucking much, and that hurt melds into anger, it burns into his heart and twists his feelings until they’re a jumbled mess.) but he can’t seem to make you understand that they love you, that they thought about you everyday when they were gone, that they mourned the end of the relationship. It’s not just about the baby, they were coming back for you no matter what. They knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that they weren’t meant to live their lives without you. They made a mistake.

But… they fucking abandoned you. And now they come back, and see that you have a baby and just decide they want to be back in your life? No. Absolutely not. They didn’t want you anymore, before Bee… nothing has changed. You won’t let yourself fall back into their grasp, and you’re so adamant about that that you fight them nearly at every turn. Can they take Bee? Sure. But “family trips” to the store? “Family trips” to the park? Not happening. You pack her diaper bag and kiss her goodbye, while Simon watches you with an intense scrutiny, eyes tracking your every step while he holds little Bee is his giant hand. He doesn’t miss a single thing, doesn’t miss the way your hands shake when you press a sweet kiss against her cheek, doesn’t miss the way your body moves sluggishly, like you’re exhausted, even after the nights they’ve had Bee, which means you should have gotten plenty of rest. Johnny just stands in the corner and stares at the floor, hands in his pockets during these exchanges, practically unwilling to engage with you in any way because he’s just so… upset with you, still. He’s better with Bee, loves her dearly, but can’t get past what he’s holding inside of himself, can’t get past how he feels so betrayed you, even though a part of him thinks he has no right to those feelings.

I love your last little bit - about the night Simon breaks you and Johnny apart and then puts you back together. There is something very similar/along those lines in the actual fic outline.

BUT ALSO… let’s imagine: They try to fix it. They try to get you to let them back in, to open up to them, to let them be there for you. As time goes on, Johnny changes, the red hot fire of anger that burns inside of him eventually goes out, lovingly smothered by Simon, and his resentment and feelings of betrayal all melt away. How could he ever have felt those things, when you were the one who was left all alone? Pregnant, with no way to contact them? He lets it all go, fully embracing parenting with you and Simon, trying to get back into your life, trying to love and support you from afar, any way they can. They start to notice a change in you… you seem a little happier, a little lighter on your feet, a little more relaxed and they think it might be working… that you finally might be growing more amenable about letting them in, about building back the relationship.

Until… they show up for Bee’s first birthday party, and there’s a man with his hand splayed on the small of you back in the backyard, holding you, tugging your body into his, while Bee shrieks and giggles on the blanket in the grass. There’s another man, watching their daughter, holding their darling girl close, while they stand in the doorway, shell shocked.

#peaches asks #disco baby au #ghost x soap x reader

[gooeyslime]

I will die on this hill but William Afton being a good dad would have worked so much better at making him feel realistic instead of becoming a cartoonishly evil man and honestly the juxtaposition of like, witnessing him kill a kid, dropping his cheerful Springbonnie act as he locks them in a room, just a cold glare as he kills them, making the player go "what a heartless monster... I feel so bad for his kids, having to deal with such a piece of shit" as we see him get out of the suit, cleaning up the blood and head home, as he opens the door once again we see his attitude change as he tells his kids "Dad's back home!" And we see them run up to him, Michael playing it cool bc he's an angsty teen but you see him smile as he points out he's late, you can tell they all care for him and got worried, after all there's a murderer on the loose and while they seem to target kids who knows? They could kill adults too... William smiles at them, genuinely, not like the smile he gave his victim whith his Springbonnie act, they all eat dinner together and if you hadn't just seen him kill a kid in cold blood you'd think this was a normal family, just a single dad eating and chatting with his kids... As he makes sure they are all sound asleep you see him walk into his bedroom, looking at a picture, it's a picture of all of them, smiling together, next to William is a woman and it dawns on you that she's nowhere to be seen and that she might be dead and he's trying to figure out how to bring her back by killing a bunch of random kids bc nothing can stand between William Afton and the only people he cares about, not even death itself... that stuff would make me way more scared of him than any "oh I am so smart I planned for you to try and set me on fire again so now if anyone scans my parts into a computer I can brainwash a random person and get them to rebuild myself ooooh I always come back!"

Like even showing him before he completely loses it would be terrifying, how he's just a normal guy who has his own troubles sure, but still isn't going around killing kids to study weird ghost stuff... Not yet anyway... And the the last straw happens and he falls to the deep end and you wonder, if you were in his shoes... If you lost the love of your life... And everyone just tells you life goes on and you just gotta get over it... What would you do? Would you also break? Would you go as far as killing someone in the hopes to bring her back? To put your family back together? And as you do that how would you handle your family breaking apart even further? Your daughter killed by YOUR machine, the machine you built to kill kids, the machine you desperately tried to keep her away from? Your older son acting out, angry because he couldn't handle his own sorrow at losing his sister shortly after his mom, he's falling apart just like you and in a moment of anger he ends up killing his younger brother, your other son killed because you couldn't see that your older son couldn't handle his own grief too? What would do then?

Stuff like that is utterly terrifying to think about... At least for me... Shame they made him so evil he's basically a Saturday morning cartoon villain now, he could have been so terrifying in so many ways but instead they made him an annoyance... Like even him coming back post Pizza Sim could have been terrifying if he wasn't such a joke by then, like we thought we finally defeated him but he's back, because he still hasn't done what he set out to do, put his family back together, and absolutely nothing can stop him from doing just that... Instead we get him showing up in 1 (one) ending and he's just... Walking around... Then he stares at a monitor and eventually he hacks Freddy by... Holding out his hand like he's using the force?? He doesn't even have a jumpscare either... I really hope the DLC at least gives him that bc him being threatening again is almost impossible after all the peepaw jokes people made...

Anyway I'm sure you can tell I have very strong feelings about this and so many thoughts for plot points that could be added to the lore if this was canon but I'll shut up for now before I write a whole essay lol

#ramblings #fnaf #william afton #elizabeth afton #michael afton #fnaf 4 cc #mrs. afton #burntrap #glamrock freddy #fnaf sb

[quietwingsinthesky]

I completely agree with your post about 11 and how well Matt Smith embodies the exact necessary tone/expression for each beat of the script! I can't imagine someone else being able to bring to life that incarnation of the Doctor. Obviously 11's era and writing has its misgivings and flaws, but I still find a lot of joy rewatching those episodes, because you see this scared, lonely doctor who's still so enthusiastic and hopeful, even when the grief and rage gets to him. It's like seeing those emotions reflected in you, and a reminder that you'll feel that hope and appreciation for life/nature again, too. I think that emotional catharsis and sincerity is the heart of doctor who and what attracts us all to the show, to be given reminders that compassion and hope are a strength, not a weakness. Seeing his expression change during that part of The Doctor's Wife always, always moves me because of the kind of honor and awe that dawns on 11's face at his tardis using the exact words he uses to describe how he stole her. It's such beautiful, tender reciprocity between two beings that couldn't communicate their feelings in this way until right then 💜

yeah, couldn’t have worded it better myself if i tried.

i think i’ve said before that eleven is my least favorite doctor, but i need to make it clear that that doesn’t even come close to me disliking him, or even feeling neutral about him. he’s still incredible, like if we put these guys on a line from bad to amazing, all of them are so close to the amazing side that you’d have to zoom in to see the order. he’s just got the unfortunate fate of being in the weakest seasons of the show that i’ve seen so far, but if i was judging this solely off of the performance of the doctor himself? he’d be tied right there with david tennant, if not above him.

no matter the quality of the writing, matt smith is bringing his A game to the table. tennant’s performance before him has moments where his doctor is serious and cold, but he’s so generally affable that those moments sort of slide off to the sides. not that you forget about it, but that it feels like a lesser part of him. and matt smith’s performance follows that with a doctor who is silly and energetic and sweet, but I think he pulls off keeping the harder parts of the doctor to swallow in mind, the scary sides of his grief and anger. some of my favorite scenes for eleven are when he’s given the space to show the full range of the doctor. the two that really come to mind are obviously that moment in the doctor’s wife, and my other stand-out favorite, his scenes with river in angels in manhattan, where we watch him lash out at her when he’s scared and angry at the fact that it was her name on the book that’s fated his friends to be pulled from him, and then a scene later, he heals her wrist by sacrificing what little regeneration energy he has left, because he does love her, he does know he was wrong to let her be hurt, but he also doesn’t ask if he can do this to fix things beforehand and upsets her again.

it’s just such a delicate balance to pull off there to make that scene work, and he does it perfectly, brings across both how much potential he has as the doctor to hurt and to heal the people he loves. i think, in the hands of any other actor, i would find eleven really hard to watch, really unlikeable. but just like he manages to never let you forget those unbearably painful parts of the doctor’s personality, you also never doubt that, even when he lashes out at the people around him, he loves them so much. he’s just. you know. Going Through It.

(also, personal touch, i so love how physically affectionate he portrays the doctor to be. it’s a small touch that means the world to me. really pulls the whole thing together when you know this man is just jumping for an opportunity to hug and hold onto and kiss the people around him. rory getting a forehead kiss when the doctor sees him for the first time in months, my beloved, rotating that moment in my head forever.)

there’s just so much going on with him. he was a fantastic doctor. (hell, all the people that have gotten to play the doctor so far have been, in my eyes, which is astounding to me. just straight bangers the whole way through, i’m incredibly impressed by how much love and work you can see go into these performances.) i think if i rewatch his seasons again, knowing exactly what to expect this time around, i’ll enjoy them much more than i did the first time.

sorry for rambling on so long, but i just need it known how much i really do love eleven. i needed a bit to warm up to smith, i’ll admit, but he earned every last bit of praise i can give him.

#ask #doctor who #the doctor #eleventh doctor

[mirandimoo]

once again thinking about how aki’s character is one of, if not the most tragic character i have come across in any media i have ever consumed in my life.

like guys you don’t understand, i’m not saying this from a ‘csm stan’ pov or anything i’m saying it from a literary standpoint AND as a media production major like yes objectively speaking he is the most tragic of tragic characters i have ever come across in any story. like from his childhood to his adult life it was all hell and trauma and after spending his whole life with nothing to dedicate himself to other than revenge, he finally found something worth protecting in denji and power so much so that the thing he spent his whole life chasing after suddenly didn’t matter because he had a little family now and that was enough for him. going through all of this only to then become the very thing you feared the worst and to be taken out by the hands of the person you cared for the most in the world. afterwards there’s no one to properly mourn you, aside from the one who took your life. everyone else is gone and the guy you cared so deeply for that you were willing to give up your life’s mission to protect has to now navigate the world with your blood on his hands, forever stained by the regret of not only killing you, but never even getting to say a proper goodbye. he’s had so much thrown onto him now that he doesn’t have time to properly grieve you and power. but no, for him your death is even worse than hers in retrospect. because there’s still a small glimmer of hope, no matter how faint, that some day she’ll come back. and that hope is so important to hold on tightly to, it’s enough of a reason to keep moving forward, to keep living. but you… oh you. for you there is no coming back. no second chances, no glimmer of hope for a happy ending. just pain. just death, anger, and so much pain. so instead of grieving properly and moving on, he’ll forever be stuck in this limbo of self hate, grief, and guilt that’ll end up with him just hurting himself physically and mentally over and over and over again. sort of how you acted in your own life... it’s kind of ironic is it not? that even in death all you do is hurt those you love, and not only fail to protect them, but deal them a fate even worse by actively being the reason they hurt. a fate worse than death it seems. and although when told it, you didn’t want to believe it, you honestly did die in the worst possible way imaginable.

#sorry this analysis is great or too in depth #i’m just tired and thinking about aki again #like i love csm with a passion #but this isn’t me blindly hyping it up cause i’m a stan or something #i’m not even sure if i AM a stan #regardless i just have so many thought about aki #not to mention too that it’s implied that he cared for them #and loved them much more deeply than either of them did for him #but i won’t get into that cause i know loads of people have STRONG opinions on that #but evidence wise it adds up but alas #we’ll save that for another day wheb i’m less tired #and more capable of articulation #chainsaw man #denji #power #aki hayakawa #hayakawa family #csm #power csm #denjichainsawman #if you guys want a more in depth analysis #cause that’s what i do best #let me know and i’ll deffo make one #i just love aki so much

[dogboyjackkennedy]

so. thought a little too hard about my headcanons for Dsaf 3. and now i'm a bit sad. so now y'all get some!

Jack listening to Henry's tapes and getting about...five more reasons to want to tear that man to shreds. at lest three of them involved Dave. the other two involve Dee and himself.

Dee first coming out of her box in The Flipside looking like the Puppet, but then shifting into looking like herself again when she sees Jack. and then shifting into the Puppet again when the fight starts. just. my Dee shapeshifting headcanon <3 (basically, after she died, Dee could shift her ghostly appearance into being either the Puppet or a ghostly version of herself)

Jack looking at Blackjack and just seeing a younger version of himself, frozen in time. this young man in his early twenties, his whole life ahead of him, who had all of that ripped away from him cruelly. his sister. his brother. himself. all by the same man. reduced to a snarling ball of rage, who wants nothing more than to rip Henry to shreds where he stands. the only reason he hasn't done so is because he's been convinced that doing so won't truly set him free. when Fredbear told Jack that, despite the souls desiring vengeance, killing their killer would not set them free, Blackjack took that to mean that it wouldn't set him free either. he's been stewing in his rage and grief for decades, neither feeling ever subsiding in that time. if anything, his rage has only increased. he lost everything because of Henry. why wouldn't he be angry? and so, if everyone else must move on, and leave him there to guard Henry and make sure he doesn't cause any problems, alone, then he will.

Jack finally helping to set him free, looking his younger self in the eyes and saying maybe that means that killing Henry is the one thing that will set him free. and even if it isn't...well, he needs to be dealt with, anyway. what if he gets out and causes problems again? just...Jack looking at Blackjack and feeling both like he's looking at a window into the past, yet also like he's looking at a different person entirely. because he and Blackjack are separate people, technically. but it's also him looking at himself.

Jack holding Dave's hand as they confront Henry, and squeezing it a little bit reassuringly. Dave tightening his grip as he gets more stressed.

Peter's death in the Henry fight being the thing that makes Jack say that their anger pushes them harder, and Dee's death leading to the line "We're gonna fuckin' FLAY you alive, Henry!" from Jack...like. just imagine how enraged he probably sounded, seeing Dee go down again. do you think it reminded him of the day she died? the day he went back to the diner to find her and bring her home, only for him to keep calling out for her and looking for her as the horror dawned on him that he couldn't find her? do you think that's what was running through his mind?

Jack and Dave reaching the end, and jack admitting that he can't go with them. Blackjack interjecting that...there is something they can try. no guarantee that it'll work, but it's worth a shot. Blackjack can try to fuse back together with him; not necessarily the same thing as shoving someone's soul back into their body, which is a big no no, apparently, but maybe a piece of him will break off, and it'll become Jack's soul. maybe them fusing will trick the universe into thinking Jack has a soul. who knows, but hopefully it'll work. and it does. Jack, by some miracle, gets his own soul out of this in a way that'll allow Blackjack to still exist. he also gets Free Afterlife Top Surgery™, because at this point he deserves it. he's been through so much shit.

at the end of the fire, Jack just looks at Dave and Blackjack and says "Come on, guys. Let's go home."

i just. aaaaaaAAAAAAAAA-

also, some Afterlife headcanons for y'all:

Peter: "Jackie, with all due respect, you have the weirdest taste in men." Jack just hanging out with Dave in the corner: "Peter, wtf-"

Steven just immediately laid down on the floor of the Afterlife and slept for a while. he was. So Fucking Tired.

Jack: "Okay, therapy circle time-" Dave: "Absolutely not, we don't have time to unpack all that." Jack: "Dave, we have nothing BUT time to unpack all of that-"

Peter and Caroline reunion <3

#dsaf #jack kennedy #dsaf dave #dee kennedy #peter kennedy #dsaf blackjack #dsaf henry #sorry for my ramblings i just Have to scream about my Dsaf 3 Flipside headcanons. as well as my Good Ending Copium™ #hope y'all enjoy!

[snailsrneat]

Can I order a Headcanon for Twisted Wonderland with Diasomnia and a male reader who has a terminal illness and his life span is coming to an end.

Ooooh, angsty. I love it! Here you go dear Anon. One angsty headcanon coming right up!

-----------------------------

Till death, do we part...

-----------------------------

Sebek Zigvolt

You had been diagnosed for awhile now, but you didn't want to anyone for fear that they would just start treating you like some sort of charity case. The only you had told was Lillia, who said he would keep his lips sealed. So you kept it hidden until, well, you couldn't.

The disease started out small. Only giving you minor headaches and pinching in your legs. Now? You could barely stand without sobbing in pain. Your head was pounding against you like a second heartbeat.

A loud bang coming from the entrance of your bedroom rang inside your head, looking over you saw him. Sebek, his face contorted into a mix of anger, fear, and sadness. Behind him stood Lillia, eyes filled guilt and melancholy.

"Prefect..", Sebek started," Why? Why would you hide this from me?" He finished, eyes swelling with tears that could burst any second.

You knew what the answer was. You knew your thought process was selfish. You knew that, and yet, why did you feel so sad?

"I-...I don't know, Sebek.", you spoke gently,"I'm sorry."

Your eyes to began to swell up with tears as Sebek crouched down and held you within his arms.

After Sebek finds out he becomes less of himself.

He stops obsessing over Malleus, stops yelling all the time, and being so anal about everything.

Instead he's more calm and silent. It's eerie.

He never really got the chance to confess before you got sick so now he spends all his time doing things with you to make up for all the lost time.

Sebek looks to Lilia for help on how to care for you during this time.

When you inevitably pass Sebek is there right by your side holding your hand.

-----------------------------

Silver

You don't remember how longs it's been since you left the hospital. You don't know how long you had spent inside your bedroom. You can't remember how long you've been just sitting there. Your brain repeating what the nurse had said to you over and over again.

A gentle knocking came from your bedroom door and a soft voice came from the other side.

"May I come dear?"

The voiced belonged to Silver. Ever so kind and hardworking Silver. Always there to make sure that you take care of yourself.

"Come in..", you replied.

The creaked open as Silver stepped in, stopping in his tracks when he saw your face. It held something he had never seen before.

Guilt

Grief

And most of all, regret.

"What happened?", he asked softly

When Silver finds out he kinda doesn't change all that much. Aside from the fact that he becomes more diligent of his sleeping habits.

He tries not to fall asleep all the time cause he wants to cherish every second you guys have left together.

He's even more gentle than ever and tries to take care of you as much as he can.

He also goes to Lilia to ask for some help.

He gets a tiny bit more short tempered.

Mostly around Sebek,.who doesn't seem to realize what's happening with you.

When you pass it happens to be when you and Silver are cuddling.

He holds your body close to him as he sobs uncontrollably

-----------------------------

Lilia Vanrouge

The road to the hospital was bumpy and rough, only making your anxiety heighten even more with each and every bump. Lilia assured you would be okay. Even going as far to hold your hand.

He held your hand as you guys waited in the waiting room to be called back. Squeezing it when they start the blood work. He even holds it as the nurse walks in with the test results.

"Sir I'm afraid you may have a terminal illness.", the nurse spoke gently, "We aren't quite sure what exactly it is. Further testing will be needed to fully confirm so. We've already scheduled you for another appointment on Saturday. I'll give you two a moment to take it all in."

Ooh boy

Lilia was well prepared for you to die, every human he ever cared for has.

But this young?

That stung him deep within his heart.

He makes sure to spend as much time with you as possible.

He also tries take care of you.

Key word "Tries"

You're pretty sure that eating Lilia's food will make you die faster.

But he makes up for his lack of cooking skills with his tremendous ability to make you laugh.

Even in your dying moments he can still make you giggle like a little school boy.

His hand slides into yours as you take your final breathes.

-----------------------------

Malleus Draconia

*BANG*

Your eyes snap open as the raoring thunder cracks the night sky. No stars were in sight, only dark grey clouds. The rain poured down like bullet.

Rubbing your tired eyes, you let your vision settle for a moment. As your eyes adjusted to the darkness a voice spoke from the corner of your room.

"Child of man..."

*BANG*

The thunder cracked once more, causing you to flinch in fear. Looking up you were met with bright green eyes, almost glaring into your soul.

"Malleus?", you questioned softly,"What's wrong? Why are you here?"

"You've been hiding from me.", he spoke with venom, "Why?"

"Oh..." you replied quietly. Guilt filled you, you knew it was a bad idea to hide from your friends, but you didn't want them to worry about you either.

Sighing you decide to speak up, "Well..."

Malleus was pretty pissed off before you told him.

But the moment you explained what was going on he was all over you.

He started taking care of you every day.

From feeding you, to helping you walk, to giving you your meds he was there to do it for you.

It got to the point where he was blantaly neglecting his own duties as both a prince and a housewarden.

Lilia was the one who reeled him back in, and came up with the most brilliant idea.

If they turned you into a fae he wouldn't have to take care of anymore and you wouldn't be sick any longer.

Plus you would be able to spend the rest of eternity with him as both his lover and Prince of Briar Valley.

It was an amazing idea! So much so he couldn't wait to do the ritual and did it as soon as possible.

Without your full consent how ever.

But it's fine right? You were dying and this'll make sure you never get sick again!

"I know it hurts my love, but you just have to push through. So we can be together forever..."

-----------------------------

Sorry this took me so long to finish, but I had a lot of fun making this. Hopefully more people will make some good requests like this one.

#Twst Angst #Request #Twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #Angst #Headcanons #twst headcanons #malleus angst #Sebek angst #Lillia angst #Silver angst #interactions are appreciated #first request #yay 🎉 #Snail Rants #twst x male reader

[yanyanderes]

Hi this is based on the Halloween ask about Yandere rise brothers x the reader with the death trap maze.You mentioned, something about if one of the brothers gets really badly hurt or doesn’t even make it out alive. I was wondering if you want to, What would happen if the brothers did get badly hurt or one didn’t make it out live ,what if the reader got hurt or didn’t make it out alive? How would the brothers react? If you don’t wanna answer this no worries , hope your doing ok 🀄️

i think this is the longest post i’ve made, this is the first time i’m using the “keep reading” thing i’m so sorry lol

also i haven’t proofread this because it’s so long and i’m tired so i hope you enjoy. if you saw any mistakes, no you didn’t ✨✨

OK THIS JUST GAVE ME AN IDEA

if (y/n) gets really badly injured, the guys are gonna amp up their overprotectiveness by a million and will 100% kidnap them and lock them up in the sewers, that much is obvious.

and if one of the brothers were seriously hurt or died… (y/n) would definitely be conflicted.

assuming (y/n) found out they were being creepy, they would definitely want distance… but leaving them alone, after such a tragedy, after such a scarring event… it simply doesn’t feel right.

this also amps up the other brothers’ crazy meters. they’re gonna lock up (y/n), give more restrictions to them than usual, more locks and cameras, less likely to be persuaded…

they need (y/n) to understand. they’ve already lost a member of their family. they can’t lose another loved one.

and that scenario where (y/n) dies, i just-

so the turtles fought as hard as they could, shielding (y/n) from danger and trying to keep them from knowing the truth. maybe they tell them to close their eyes to stop them from seeing the truth, and because of that, they don’t see the danger coming for them and die.

at first, they’re all in denial. raph goes into a blind rage and charges head first into danger. he’s not scared of getting hurt, he just wants this maze to feel pain.

mikey’s holding (y/n), telling them that they’ll be okay, they’re all gonna make it home safe, and they’re never gonna leave each other’s side again.

donnie, in all his delusions, refuses to believe it’s too late for them. they’re still alive, he can patch them up, he can fix this.

leo’s the most lucid of them all. deep down, he knows that (y/n) is gone. he knows there’s nothing they can do about it. but it’s a truth he doesn’t want to believe, so he shuns out those thought and let’s himself believe the lies. (y/n) is still alive. they’ll make sure they come back to the lair safely.

it’s only when they finally make it out of the maze that they’re forced to confront the fact that (y/n) isn’t alive anymore. no matter how many cuts they stitch, medicine they give, (y/n) won’t wake up.

they gone for good.

they all deal with the loss differently. raph isn’t the same anymore. he practically has to be dragged out of bed and into the kitchen so he can eat. his eagerness to fight is gone, and the fire in his eyes is dead.

leo tries to push away his grief with anger. he goes out every night and takes out all his negative emotions on some poor criminals. but no matter how many thieves or bandits he beats up, he can never rid himself of the heavy weight on his chest, and he always ends up curled up in a ball, crying on a rooftop by the time the sun rises.

mikey is the only one of his brothers who still refuses to accept the truth. he still wears a smile, still has that sing-songy tone in his voice, still acts like (y/n) is alive. he always picks out (y/n)’s favorite movies to watch, always cooks an extra plate of food for them, always texts them at the usual time… (y/n) isn’t gone! they love the guys too much to leave them!

donnie, as most might predict, buried himself in his work. his doors are locked 24/7, they have to be practically broken down if anyone wants to get in. yet, even when he makes the most groundbreaking inventions, it isn’t the same without (y/n) praising his machinery and listening to him ramble about how it works. he wonders if it’s even worth it to continue his science if it isn’t for them…

wait. that’s it!

raph is still moping in his room, leo is on the surface beating a group of criminals half to death, and mikey is playing video games with “(y/n),” so no one notices when donnie leaves his lab in what feels like the first time in forever. his figure stalks through the sewers, until he finally finds what he’s been looking for.

the one thing that can get raph out of his room without being forced out.

the one thing that would provide leo with comfort after any rough night.

the one thing mikey refuses to visit because it’s the one thing that could disprove his blissful lies.

(y/n)’s grave.

the boys couldn’t bare the thought of (y/n) truly leaving them for good. so instead of letting their friends and family know of their death, they kept their grave in the sewers, where they could have them all to themselves. sure, it was selfish, but at this point… they simply stopped caring.

but tonight, that will all change.

leo will barge into the lair, frantic, distressed, and enraged. he’ll drag raph out of his room and practically throw him onto the couch where mikey is resting.

“someone dug up (y/n)’s grave!”

raph’s mood will change in a heartbeat. he’ll go from not caring at all what leo has to say, to practically fuming. mikey, on the other hand, will simply pout.

“i told you guys! (y/n) gets upset when you say that they’re dead! you’re taking this prank way too far!”

“mikey, this is serious!”

“i know! you made (y/n) mad, so they tore up that stupid grave you keep saying you buried them in!”

“we have to find their body!”

“they aren’t dead!”

for a moment, it will look like the fight is about to get physical. that is, until the lights suddenly shut off. donnie’s lab door will fly open, with the lights flickering within. whatever experiment donnie will do, it will have short-circuited everything else in the lair.

amidst the flickering lights, the trio will see donnie hunched over a table, diligently checking over whatever he had done.

“donnie! what’s the big deal?!”

leo’s irritated words will fall on deaf ears. all donnie will do is grin as he mutters under his breath, his tone uncharacteristically chipper.

leo will groan as he walks into the lab, his brothers following not too far behind.

“whatever, that’s not important. someone took (y/n)’s body out of their grave, and it’s our job to-!”

leo will stop mid sentence when donnie steps out of the way. raph and leo will stare wide eyed at the experiment donnie had pulled.

“…(y/n)?”

it’ll be hard to believe, but it’ll be true. there, on the lab table, (y/n) will sit. they’ll look like they’ve been starving for weeks, some of their limbs might even be falling off…

but that bright light in their eyes will say it all.

donnie will explain everything; how he dug their body from their grave, how he double, triple, and quadruple checked everything to make sure this process wouldn’t go downhill, how he used all the power in the lair to power his invention so he could bring (y/n) back to life-

“i told you i could fix this!”

mikey will be the first to act. he’ll run up to (y/n) and embrace their fragile form. donnie will warn him to be gentle with them, they’ve just come back from the dead, and their body is still weak. mikey will respond with a pout, saying that (y/n) was never dead to begin with.

“i told you, they’ve been alive all this time! isn’t that right, (y/n)?”

leo will take a step forward… and laugh. laugh as if this is a joke. this is surely a joke, right? reviving someone from the dead is impossible. this is just a robot donnie built to hurt their feelings as some twisted prank, and soon the rug will be pulled from under their feet, right? right? but then, his hand will cup their cheek. they’ll lean into his touch… and he’ll know it’s the real (y/n). he’ll break down on the spot. he’ll laugh and cry and pull them close, stuttering and sputtering as he chokes on his words, before trailing off and simply letting himself relish in their embrace.

“(y/n), you- you-” *hic* “- you were- how did- i… i…”

all the while, raph will stare at the group in disbelief. he won’t say anything, and for a good while, he won’t even move. even when donnie tries to snap him out of his daze, he’ll simply stand there. it’ll be as if time had stopped. and then (y/n) will make eye contact with him, and his body will move on his own. tears will stream down his face as he wraps his arms around the three of them. he had felt so empty holed up in his room, but when he’s holding onto them, he’ll feel whole again…

he’ll smile.

of course, things can’t just go back to the way things were. the boys are so traumatized after what happened, and what will (y/n)’s friends and family think if they see them in such a state?

i imagine that after donnie’s experiment, (y/n) is like a zombie. they don’t want to eat brains or anything, but their body is kinda decomposing, their limbs sometimes fall off and have to be stitched back on, and their brain, well…

i think they’d have memory loss. they can’t remember their death all that clearly, they’ve forgotten events that have happened more than a few days ago, and they regularly forget where they are, what they’re doing, and have to be constantly helped by the turtles. not that they turtles mind, of course.

this definitely works in the guys’ favor. they’ve forgotten the maze, so even if they saw all the terrible things the turtles have done for them, they won’t remember. they barely remember their life outside the turtles, so they don’t have to worry about competition. even if they somehow come across a memory of a family member or friend, the turtles can divert their attention to something else, and they’ll forget the person soon enough.

sure, this isn’t the right thing to do. sure, it’s selfish.

but with all they’ve gone through for (y/n), don’t they deserve this?

tried to stay in the halloween theme since the original post was a holiday special, hope ya like it

#yandere rottmnt #yandere tmnt #yandere teenage mutant ninja turtles #yandere rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #yandere tmnt 2018 #yandere leo #yandere donnie #yandere raph #yandere mikey #yandere rottmnt raph #yandere rottmnt leo #yandere rottmnt mikey #yandere rottmnt donnie #yandere #yan-asks

[whattraintracks]

5. Video Games - Multi

What's this? More Raphael angst? Why are we surprised.

So I was listening to Stay Down by boygenius while some prompts simmered in my brain, and when this one started boiling somewhere around verse two, I knew what I had to do.  

Would Raph even like this song? Who knows, but I sure do, so I am going to close-read the heck out of it and draw so many connections.

Video Games >> I'm just steering my life in a video game >> It's a half-life, it's a fallout 

before any of you wonder what this has got to do with the prompt, here it is! it's in the song. prompt satisfied

apparently, those are also references to video games

. . .

moving on

Fighting and Learned Behavior >> lean into the punch >> push me down >> hold me under >> stay down 

a.k.a. physical altercations as an allegory for Raphael’s life 

obsessed with the metaphor of him leaning into a punch

if he can’t avoid life's blows, he'll do what he can to make them hurt less

suffer the hit just to get it over with, or take it for someone else

on a less angsty note, I simply associate Raph with boxing 

he's a skilled ninja, but sometimes he wants to sucker-punch someone

cuz this boy really loves fighting, and that ain’t a bad thing 

>> wasn't a fighter 'til somebody told me I had better learn >> would you teach me I'm the villain

I think a lot about Raph and learned behavior 

when I tell you Rise and '03 Splinter altered my brain chemistry 

hiding their connection to the Foot/Hamato Clan

trying to spare their sons from anger, grief, trauma, vengeance, and wars that don't belong to them is fascinating to me 

but in every version, he teaches Raph how to fight 

and I've talked about how '87 Raphael still inherited those things from Splinter's

even the ones who don’t are still altered by growing up with him, looking at you M&M Raph 

it's not a coincidence '12 Splinter sees so much of himself in his son

Defense Mechanism and Love for Enemies >> lean into the punch so it don't hurt as bad when they leave 

Raph's anger often screams defense mechanism to me

if humans are going to hate him anyway, again he'll lean into it

be snarky and rude and scary and mean and give them something to really hate

sometimes, his anger is preemptive, but it's not always unfounded

I don't think even ten fingers are enough to count how many times a recurring character turned on the '87 turtles

Raphael should have been allowed to beat up Vernon as consolation

>> there you were, turning your cheek 

but wait! there's more! the Christian references in this song are not subtle

Luke 6:27,29 "Love your enemies; do good to those who hate you . . . if anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also"

I'm thinking about '87 Raphael's "Yeah, I'm with ya, but I'm bitter" and helping the guys protect a city that doesn't appreciate all they do

I'm thinking about '03 Raph, who is resolute it's not their problem that the city's at war but gets involved because Leo does 

I'm thinking about '07 Raph taking up the Nightwatcher mantle after Leo leaves New York 

Disconnection in Personal Relationships >> I look at you and you look at a screen 

this second verse, I think, is pretty open to interpretation, which works well given how many variations there are of Raph

linking "screen" to "video game" in the next line, I picture Raph reaching out and being ignored

like '03 Raph figuring his anger out on his own v. Leo getting sent away for serious/professional help

like '07 Raph missing Leo and hearing no word from him for years 

or I read "screen" with the connotation of concealment

like Rise Raph keeping it together for his little brothers until he can't

like their shock when he finally breaks down

the loneliness of Raph looking at his brothers and knowing them so well but feeling like they never really see him  

>> similar acts and a different name 

I am always struck by how similar Raph and his brothers are 

the little things they do the same because they were raised together

the ways they deliberately emulate each other  

it has to sting seeing so much of them in himself and himself in them and still be reduced to "the angry one"

especially when it's them thinking this way

(side note, Google has this lyric miswritten as "similar accent," which is hilarious in this context) 

Loss and Lack of Control >> I'm in the back seat of my body 

canon takes great pleasure in depriving Raph of control over his body 

how intensely all Raphaels experience their emotions 

off-screen and childhood trauma like “Savage Raph” in Rise 

on-screen trauma that must lead to dissociation, flashbacks, nightmares, etc. 

the two, at least that I know of, mind control events with ‘12 and Rise Raph

even ‘87 Raphael getting de-aged

you could also interpret this as gender dysphoria and I've seen a lot of good trans Raph headcanons

>> I'm just steering my life in a video game 

beyond losing control of his body, Raph never really has control of his life 

“turtle luck” and all that 

this often shows up when their stories shift

like ‘87 Raphael, who goes from a wise guy to a sarcastic grouch as his story drags on and takes a darker turn

as opposed to Rise Raph, who throughout the series, gets talked down from heroism and over-vigilance

but guess which behaviors get rewarded and reinforced during the Shredder arcs and Krang invasion

so as not to ignore the prompt any more than I already have, I do enjoy those episodes where “life in a video game” for Raphael is a little more on the nose

Combat Land (1987), Across the Universe (2003), Mazes and Mutants (2012) 

Literally Neurodivergent and a Minor 

(Shoutout to this art from @/20s-turtle-posting that inspired the name of this section) ((and, no, I did not realise this is an ironic meme and will be taking it seriously))

>> aren't I the one constantly repenting for a difficult mind? >> push me down into the water like a sinner, hold me under >> villain >> sinner >> half-life >> fallout 

I warned you about the religious imagery, but it's a little off in this verse

because repentance is about change as growth

but Raph feels like he has to change his "difficult mind" this ingrained part of himself

so he's stuck in a cycle of remorse and regret, unable to gain control

I think about running fast and far and anguished cries of “what is wrong with me?” (2003)

pushed into and held under, the waters of baptism are no longer cleansing and renewing but suppressing

it's the people closest to him saying “you are seriously twisted” (2012) and “you’ve got a rage problem” (M&M)

and having to decide between hiding those parts of himself or hoping they'll love him anyway

it's Raph feeling bad and broken, feeling like he's a danger and a poison to everyone around him

>> lean into the punch so it don't hurt as bad when they leave >> it takes so long for me to settle down and when I finally do, there's no one else around 

and I wonder if Raph's temper is ever tied to feeling unlovable, and one feeling sparks another in a vicious feedback loop 

a teenager testing the boundaries of care and affection, more defense mechanisms

how does he get himself to believe in their steadfast love even when he feels unworthy of it

to trust he's safe enough to feel all of his ugliest emotions when his life is so out of control

he forgets, his story doesn’t let him remember, that he’s still a kid 

he's got a lot of growing to do, and even if it takes a long time, he’ll settle down one day, find his balance 

his family’s gonna stick it out, and they’ll still be around when he finally gets there

tl;dr I will never be able to listen to this song without crying about Raphael now, so thanks, brain. 

#march for raph #cw trauma #discussed not shown #it's still the fifth somewhere right? #why did i think a pseudo-essay would be less work/time-consuming than a fic? great question #raphael splinterson #raphael hamato #tmnt #whattrainofthought

[daisyapples]

Holy shit, you guys, I just passed a 100,000 hits on my A03 account. 100,000 hits on my little stories about boys in love! I’m gobsmacked! Thank you all so much. To anyone who has ever taken the time to read my stories, I appreciate you! 

All my stories are under the cut! Thank you all so much!! 

Raven Boys- Pynch

Broken Things and Homecomings

Ronan Lynch has just returned from war; hot deserts, gunfire and bad memories. He's not sleeping or eating and the only thing keeping him functioning is his army buddy Noah.

Adam Parrish got out. He got out of Henrietta, and then he got dragged back in by his dad's funeral and his mom's illness. Now he's back at Boyds trying to figure out how his electrical engineering masters ended with him becoming a mechanic.

Delivery Boy

Ronan Lynch was crying when he opened the door. He didn't look like someone who would cry; his shaved head, sharp cheekbones and violent mouth looked more attuned to anger than tears. The attitude he had in school, when he turned up, didn't exactly scream person who cried.

Except he was crying and Adam had no idea what to do so he just said, “Eh, that'll be thirty five dollars please.”

(AKA Adam is a pizza boy and Ronan is crying and they are not friends even though Gansey wants them to be.)

Where does the good go?

Ronan has no idea why Adam broke up with him. Two years have passed and he hasn't seen Adam since, but with them both being Godparents to Gansey and Blue's new baby, it's time to face the past and maybe find the answers he's been looking for.

Talk some sense to me

Adam just found out that without being married, he'll lose half his scholarship for his MBA. He's pretty sure he can blame the next words on temporary insanity, the words saying he's engaged to his best friend and they'll get married in the next five days if it means he gets to keep his scholarship.

Now he just has to convince Ronan.

That'll probably be the easy part considering he's going to have to hide the fact he's been in love with Ronan since he was eighteen.

Hear you me

Adam met Nomad on an Aglionby forum, and they've been texting ever since. He doesn't know who he is, but when they meet at a Halloween dance, and he finds out that it's Ronan Lynch, Aglionby's star striker and resident bad boy, he runs.

Only Ronan's not ready to let go of Harvardboy, the one person who seems to understand him as an artist, not a soccer player, who seems to understand his grief and make the world more bearable, whose allowed some light back into his darkened world.

Will Adam be brave enough to face down his stepfather Colin Greenmantle, and his evil stepbrothers, Kavinsky and Tad, to be with the boy he's slowly falling in love with?

The darker the night, the brighter the stars

In which Ronan is the prince, and Adam manages to save the kingdom.

Choices

Adam Parrish is rich. Ronan Lynch is poor.

When Adam's mom commissions the mysterious artist known only as The Dreamer to create a sculpture for her husband's 50th birthday, Adam and Ronan are pushed into each others orbit and they learn that their choices are the most important thing they have.

ghost of choices made

Ronan Lynch hasn't seen Adam Parrish in ten years.

Working for Greenmantle to protect his brothers, he said goodbye to Adam a long time ago, but when Adam's parents die, and Greenmantle insists Ronan protect him from the people after Adam's inheritance, they are thrown back into each others lives and have a second chance to make the choices they wanted to make years before.

(This is a continuation of my Choices fic but it focuses on what would have happened of Ronan had made a different choice in chapter 23.)

and I feel just like I'm living someone else's life

“Oh,” he says again. “You’re mine.”

Ronan smiles, and it is a smile made for war, and a smile made for love, and a smile made for holding the things you love tight and safe. “And you’re mine.”

and when the lights go dark i wanna feel you standing next to me

The world ended when the dead started to walk.

Adam has been alone for a long time, but when he finds four strangers and a broken down camaro on the side of the road, he agrees to help them reach the mysterious Barns and apparent safety from the walking dead.

Essay

The Vacuum of Silence: What happens when queer characters aren't allowed to speak

At the end of it all, this is not just a representation problem.

This is a narrative issue.

We deserved to see Bucky and Steve have a conversation on screen because the narrative demanded it. We deserved to see Dean respond to Cas because the narrative supported it. Eventually, pandering to the lowest common denominator within the audience means bad writing, means unsatisfying conclusions to stories which have been told over years, means wasting your audience's time.

Teen Wolf - Sterek

Compulsion

Wolf watched Stiles watching him. "Who are you?"

Stiles snorted. "Yeah, okay, pull up a chair and let me tell you my life story." He pointed at the mask. "This is not just to make me look badass. Although that is a handy side effect."

He shook his head. "No, I know you. Your scent." He inhaled deeply through flared nostrils.

Stiles took a step back. "Geez, man. Ever heard of manners? It's fucking rude to scent a person without permission."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Why do you keep saving us?"

"Dunno what your talking about." He rolled his bat nervously between his two hands. No one was supposed to notice. Although he knew that was a pipedream, a fairytale he clung to so he could feel safe. Being invisible to HQ was all he cared about. "I am just a helpful person who happened to be passing by."

Shaking the wings of their terrible youths

Stiles didn't expect much when he stopped a stranger being attacked in an alleyway.

He didn't expect the wolf following him around New York, didn't expect the help when he was sick, didn't expect the psycho blond attacking him, or the place to stay. He didn't expect the new family.

Oh, and he definitely didn't expect werewolves.

#a03 #fanfic #pynch #Sterek #Raven Cycle #teen wolf #derek x stiles #derek hale #stiles stilinski #ronan lynch #ronan x adam #Adam Parrish

[mermaidsirennikita]

hi do you have a rec for a book where the heroine is like, nice and polite because Society™ but is bottling up her rage and the hero helps her let out the rage/emotions? preferably historical but i'll take anything!

Yes!

I've been recommending it a lot, but... this is For My Lady's Heart by Laura Kinsale. The heroine is a widowed princess who keeps a very icily polite and cold surface (maybe not nice, lol, but very in keeping with her societal role), and the hero helps her get in touch not only with her anger but her grief as well. So good, with such a unique heroine.

Joss and The Countess by S.M. LaViolette has shades of this. The heroine is a widow who was horribly treated by her husband (TW lots of discussions of sexual abuse in the book) and Joss is her bodyguard as she roams the city trying to meet someone who will take her to bed and make her feeeel. Turns out Joss can make her feel (and she's super into being dominated by him, naturally).

Melissa and The Vicar by S.M. LaVioette is another one you might want to try, and it comes first, I think? Melissa is a madame who now runs her own brothel but was sold into sex work at a very young age (TW). She goes to this village because her health, largely due to stress, has taken a turn. She keeps up a very polite and professional mask for friends, patrons, etc, but she meets this virginal vicar guy who just unlocks something vulnerable in her and allows her to really feel and vent about all the shit she's been through over her life.

Thief of Shadows by Elizabeth Hoyt SOOO has this vibe. The heroine is a society widow who's known for being like, very fashionable, very of high society. She's super polite and puts on a good show, and even takes care of her late husband's bastard child (though she herself is infertile and suffered a lot of miscarriages and suffers deeep down because of it). The hero, again a virgin lol, allows her to really let it all out--her anger, her pain, etc. There's one scene where he like basically holds her in his lap and strokes her hair and her back while she just loses her shit and I love it SO MUCH.

I meeeean lol Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath definitely has this. Olivia was really dissatisfied in her marriage, among other things, but kept it together because she was the duchess, and Jack empowers her to express her feelings more openly. She actually has a majorly defiant streak, and he triggers that.

Non-historical:

Evernight by Kristen Callihan. This is a Victorian supernatural, and one of my favorite Darkest London books. The heroine has the ability to manipulate metal, and she's this very removed, cool woman; she was used by a big villain to create this like... clockwork heart dealy situation for this guy who's essentially a vampire/demon, and having it in his chest and being this monster, basically, has driven him out of his mind. (He was previously very rakish and fun-loving.) He goes to get her to make her fix it, and she can't immediately, but touching her relieves his agony so he's like "well, I guess we're stuck together until you fix me". She's uptight, he's wild, they end up going on this whole adventure thing and also have very impetuous and poorly-planned sex on like, an exam room table thing, her name is Holly Evernight and even before they're vaguely romantic he calls her "my Evernight" it's GREAT.

No Rest for the Wicked by Kresley Cole. Lol, this is less "she's nice" but big on the "bottled emotions" thing. The heroine is a valkyrie who hunts vampires, and she's known as "Kaderin the Cold-Hearted" because she just can't feel emotion due to the loss of her sisters centuries before. She goes to kill this vampire, and it turns out he's basically a giant nerd who's had sex like exactly twice and lives in his big castle reading books and not hurting anyone. She still wants to kill him, but they end up dry humping on the floor instead, and then she's like "OH NO WHAT IS THIS FEELING???" and runs off. He understandably is all "you don't meet a woman like that every dynasty" and chases her, determined to make her feel a feeling lmao.

#romance novel blogging #book recs #romance novels #romance: ice queen #sort of???

[twdmusicboxmystery]

I want to talk about something I just realized I'm pretty sure Daryl is the one who hid Beth's body

Since he also hates goodbyes, he may have said sweet things to her, and how she changed his life and made him look at life differently, and I do not exclude that he said to her, "I love you, Beth."🥺🥺🥺🥺

maybe he kissed her!! 😭💖.

Imagine this with me, Daryl holding her body in his arms and placing her somewhere safe, away from the walkers

He puts his hands on her head, pushes her hair away from her face, examines her face one last time, hugs her tightly, cries and tries to kiss her. Isn't that cool guys?😭😭😭

Please, I don't want anyone to break my dreams. 🥺 Daryl might have done this on 17 Days Missing. It's all possible.👍🏻.

It's definitely possible! We don't know the details of what went down during the missing 17 days, but given the abject sadness of the characters in 5x09 and 5x10, I think we can safely assume it was highly emotional and full of grief.

Back after 5x09 aired, and we didn't get to see what happened to Beth's body, and Nicotero had the peculiarly specific answer of, "it's been 17 days since Coda," there was rampant speculation among TDers about what might have happened.

People talked about how Daryl probably went ape-shit when anyone suggested leaving Beth behind. But Rick would have convinced him of the logic of doing so, just so they could keep the living alive. And of course the idea of coming back later to bury her property would have helped.

But I can imagine the tenderness with which he would have conducted whatever funeral they managed before they were interrupted, and then, as you say, placing her in whatever car or trunk they did to keep her body away from walkers until they could return.

Don't forget that they probably returned to find her body gone, and assumed she'd turned into a walker. What would the emotion have been like, then? The only hint we have, I think, is the shot of Maggie crying outside the car. The camera angle is from inside the car with the door open, which I think is a hint that when they returned, the door is open and Beth is gone.

Notice how we don't get Daryl's reaction there. Maybe because he'd already taken off into the woods to look for her. Maybe because his reaction would have somehow given away what happened. Maggie crying could just be grief for her sister's death, which is what they wanted the audience to believe happened. But if we'd seen Daryl's ape-shit-anger, it might have clued the GA in to the idea that something else had gone down.

All speculation, of course. But the fact remains, they didn't show us everything that happened by far during the missing 17 days. They only hint at it with out-of-context shots in 5x09. An episode in which Beth appears. An episode that heavily hints at the twin theory and the CRM. An episode in which Kirkman said there were hints for the future of the show. (HERE.)

So maybe our theories are speculation, but that doesn't change the facts of what's been said and shown.

Thanks so much for your thoughts, Nonny. Love your head canon! Xoxo! 🍀💘

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

[d-issent]

You guys ever thrown a massive tantrum over things not going your way, to the point that it actually ruins the lives of those around you?

Hopefully not - but Cora absolutely has.

While "Dissent" was focused mainly on the Mid Sodor Railway, I had planned to only show the railway in flashbacks throughout the story. A huge chunk of these flashbacks involved Duke, Smudger, Stanley, the railway's manager and his daughter Cora.

I've talked before about how; due to pretty shitty circumstances, my TTTE AU is focused on the engines being sentient and mobile enough to essentially make up for the lack of humans, hence why they're cyborgs and not trains. However for some people there's a pretty fine line between the engines being there to assist humanity and being there to replace humanity.

The latter is unfortunately what Cora believes. By the time the comic reaches the 80's, there is a definite but not aggressive effort to start phasing engines out of public service as humanity begins to recover from the chunk taken out of its population. However, Cora ultimately reaches a high enough position of power that she can speed up that process, so much so that it ends up being more like a total decommission effort.

However there was/is one engine who - in her mind, she had planned to spare, though to most everyone else, he got arguably the cruelest treatment from her - and that engine was Smudger.

Cora's initial grudge against the engines stems from when her father - the Mid Sodor manager, tried to introduce one into the family after the death of his wife, Cora's mother. Hence where Cora's mindset on engines replacing humans comes from.

It's essentially deep-set and unaddressed grief and anger all mixed up into one, big mess, and unfortunately quite a lot of engines get caught up in that mess, with Smudger being the one who bears most of the brunt. Unfortunately for Smudger, the fact that his personality chip didn't come with a set personality - and he's essentially like a sponge, soaking up little bits and pieces of everyone he's been in contact with - makes him stick out like a sore thumb in terms of the way he acts.

To put it simply, he's really not like other girls! And that isn't lost on Cora, he's a breath of fresh air for her. In her mind; each time she visits the MSR in the story, she's surrounded by cookie-cutter, mandated-personality engines with no individuality, she sees them as nothing else but soulless machines, until Smudger. In her eyes, he's the only one who could actually pass as human.

So! She develops quite the soft spot for him, a soft spot that quickly turns detrimental when she confesses to him that she dreams of a perfect world where humans outgrow the need for engines, by any means possible! But as it turns out, he doesn't actually appreciate being her "only exception," and he also doesn't appreciate her confidently saying that she wants all of his friends and coworkers scrapped, so he quits being his usual feisty and warmhearted self and tells her that to her face.

From that point on, the plot becomes kind of fuzzy, but I remember that she was actually the one who convinced the MSR's manager to convert Smudger into a generator after all of that. I imagine the manager was already thinking of putting him to some other use, because it was very evident by then that his prototype bodywork wasn't anywhere near as durable as the rest of the engines. But Cora's influence was the killing blow.

I honestly can't remember much about her motives? I think her intention was to stop Smudger from blabbing about her whole "perfect world" vision, but I think what she really wanted was a way to punish him for rejecting her, and also to get hold of his personality chip. Going the generator route meant that she could put his bodywork to some other use and then take the chip so she could maybe build him another body later? I don't actually think I got that far back when I first thought up the story! But she definitely wanted to keep him with her, regardless of what he wanted. Ironic, since his "individuality" and his "ability to think for himself" was what endeared him to her in the first place.

But - that's Cora! She was meant to be a kind of "surprise" villain, but if I'm honest it probably would've been obvious that she was no good. I think she was also responsible for decommissioning Stanley too, since he was actually the first engine on Mid Sodor to realise that she wanted them all scrapped. Though she probably had a much easier time convincing the powers that be to convert him into a pumping engine, as he was clearly unstable and still had the weaponry he'd used in the war just, sitting on his shoulders lmao.

If I remember more - I'll be sure to add onto this post. But, man it feels great to get some of these ideas down after 7 or so years.

#TTTE #TTTE AU #she's the Big Bad

[baylardian-1]

Ok I need to know when Janeway has the “oh shit” moment in terms of her feelings about Chakotay. Like when does she realize she loves him and then things stop being awkward between them?

This is such a great question and quite honestly I love hearing about so many people's different impressions of when this would be. I can't even say that I hold my own opinion as "doctrine" for our AU because I love keeping this moment open and up to interpretation.

Like I love what I'd imagine to be the most instinctive response to this which would probably be Resolutions in which we see Kathryn slowly begin to accept and almost find content in her circumstances of living a rather stagnant, domestic, and mundane life with her First Officer; but to me Resolutions is SO EARLY and so much that happens between them later on in the series I find tends to work against the idea that she'd carry lasting and resonating feelings toward Chakotay at that point in time. If anything, Resolutions works to me as a metaphorical "planting of the seed" where she might briefly humor herself with the idea of settling down with this man, but is quick (Yet pained!) to set it aside once they are rescued from New Earth and resume their formal airs with one another on Voyager.

In talking with Riley (and-to-you-its-just-words) who at least in regards to her Threshold AU content has it that the two develop a relationship breaking certain "parameters" while onboard Voyager and inquiring after her own thoughts on the matter, I thiiiink she said it'd happen around the season four area of time surrounding some pretty pivotal circumstances like Scorpion and Killing Game where the two have been seeing each other be thrown into some life-threatening situations and have to chew on the repercussions of that. That's also around the time that Kathryn forcefully has to give up on the idea that Mark is still in the picture (Which, he is not). In tickling with this idea I fancied the thought of Night in season five, where Chakotay consoles her that she's not alone in her guilt and grief and inevitably she is pulled out of her slump. I could easily see them picking up a relationship around that time. :)

When it comes down to it though, I am QUITE HONESTLY most inclined to believe that this moment happens after she's already lost Chakotay (To Seven) and in that, all chances of getting him back. Because I think she is THAT STUBBORN with herself. So post-Endgame. Like I think it would take her future self telling her she loses Chakotay in more ways than one, and then beginning to experience it herself, followed by her feeling some odd, seemingly unprompted frustrations and projected anger toward him without really knowing why. Like I think she'd have to sit on this for a while. It does not click to her why seeing him and Seven together makes her act and feel the way that she does. I think she'd go so far as to fall into her work so deeply, impulsively accepting promotion and maintaining the busiest and most occupying schedule she can hope to achieve. All to avoid ruminating over her very unprofessional feelings toward her shipmates' relationship. I don't know when exactly it'd hit her, but obviously if we're following book canon this goes so far as to having her never confess her feelings to him EVER (Prior to book events in Full Circle). I think she'd be scared to, for how long it's taken her, I think she'd fear he doesn't love her anymore or never did, 'cause she's a LITTLE oblivious. They are simply the closest of companions after all and she wouldn't want to tamper or break their bond by making things awkward between them.

I think they are simply awkward people at heart. And unfortunately you have a very stubborn, headstrong, and oblivious lady, who unknowingly loves a IMMENSELY patient guy who dotes and fawns over his super crush to such a degree as not to pressure her or scare her away with FEELINGS, so they are basically two rocks who wanna kiss but they are rocks. They'll get there they're just slow. :)

(For future reference for all reading this please feel free to direct Threshold AU asks to @voyagerihardlyknowher! That way me AND Alice can both have access to looking at stuff instead of just me! You can send multiple asks I love sitting on asks for 5000 years. Can be questions about the AU or things you'd maybe like to see us draw; no promises on responsiveness obviously haha.)

#thank u for this ask GOSH sorry it took me so long HAH #i just wanted to wrap my head around it for a while! :D #i was admittedly pretty UNCONVINCED on JC for a veeeeeery long time watching the series my first runthrough! #like i saw glimpses but the inevitability was that they were not the intended relationship and so i saw it as such haha #not that it rlly matters IM HERE NOW :) #but i do really enjoy how the books have gone about it.......... though greedily i always crave a little more confrontation/discourse hehe #Ask #Ignisgalaxia #Headcanon

[crappy-homestuck-confessions]

I wanna play devil's advocate here and say I feel sorry for Cronus. Mituna was his best friend, he cared about him so much, I think canonly had feelings for him. One day Mituna goes off to fight this threat alone and destroys his own mind. Cronus tries to reach out again but Mituna isn't there anymore. He's not even close to the person he used to be, and what hurts more is he doesn't remember Cronus, what he risked everything for, or even who he himself is. There's no explanation for Cronus, he's just supposed to accept Mituna is gone and he grows bitter towards Mituna because it feels like he was replaced with this stranger that can't even hold a conversation let alone care about anyone or anything anymore, well, except for Latula, who he clings to while pushing Cronus away. But when Cronus is feeling upset, the other dancestors gang up on him on behalf of Mituna and just keep telling him to accept it, except he doesn't even get a reason, he can't even talk to him anymore! I don't see Cronus as a bad guy, I feel like he experienced loss and grief when the outside of the body still looks the same but everything they had was gone. And when he was trying to work through accepting it, everyone else got angry at him, and in turn, he got angry at himself and blamed Mituna for not being himself anymore. The dancestors had something terrible happen among them and instead of working it out, they just passed anger around like hot potato until it was accidentally thrown back at the person they're all supposed to care about. Cronus is pretty bad for how he treats Mituna, but I feel everyone else is pretty terrible too for not letting Cronus work through his feelings and instead jumped on him for them. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I haven't actually read Homestuck in years and I'm probably just basing it off the things I remember, idk

.

#homestuck confession #mod captor

[spiritedawaybyhiscamera]

07/11/2022

I read somewhere that grief, when first felt, is like a black hole that fills the entirety of your heart. It's overwhelming, and suffocating. It's hard to see through the darkness of it all, and any hope or light gets sucked away by that black hole. However, the phrase "time heals", as much as I still hate it after 6 years, maybe not be too far off from the truth of what happens... As you continue to make new memories, meet new people and experience new things, your heart grows whilst that black hole stays the same size. So although it once encompassed your heart entirely, through time it "feels" like it's getting smaller, even though it's just the surrounding heart that grows.

I ended up taking comfort in that analogy, not because I wanted an excuse as to why I know feel positive emotions again, other than the sadness and anger that I could only feel in the first few years after what happened. More so because it showed me hope. Hope that I'm not a lost case, that I love again, and feel loved too.

Having said that, there are days when I loose myself. Days when that overwhelming feeling of anxiety and depression that I've been keeping under control just leaks through the surface. I can't stop it, I don't know how to stop it. I guess once broken, it always will be even if we fill the cracks, there's always a hole or 2 that gets missed. Therapy helped to identify the cracks, encouraged me to fill it in but never finished the job - that's something I'll have to work on for the rest of my life. But recently, I started to think I don't have to do it alone... and I'll explain why shortly.

Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of fun. I've gone out with friends, lost myself in the moment of joy, and have gone on dates in the past 2 years. I've kissed a couple of guys, and dated one. Speaking of - although I was miserable, crying most nights, and felt more alone during than when I was single, I want to thank him as if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have realised certain triggers in relationships that ultimately made me decide to go to therapy (after being encouraged by my mum to do so). It's thanks to him that I became healthy enough to go into my next relationship.

Losing a best friend is not easy, and losing a lover who you thought you would be with for the rest of your life, has been harder. But here is where I still feel angry - we broke up for a reason, and looking back at certain memories, it clearly was the best to separate. Although we were each other's worlds, we weren't each others soulmates. We did more harm to each other than good, and that's the sad truth. The reason why I'm still mad is because if he just waited, he would have met his soulmate too. Yes, "too". I've found someone. In some ways he reminds me of my old best friend, the one that I had prior to getting into a relationship with. But he's someone who compliments how I love someone, and feeds me with the type of love that I've always wanted.

I won't lie - it's been scary being with someone like that. It almost feels like a fever dream, soon I'll be cruelly awoken by the alarm on my phone, and I'll be back to reality where I'm alone and justifiably unwanted. It feels like God is dangling a carrot in front of me, but he's letting me have it, touch it and hold it. It's mine to take. Sure it has a few bruises here and there, it's not a perfect carrot, but it's mine. He makes me feel... loved. Comforted. Happy.

Here's the thing, I don't actually remember when or how I told him about my past. I wonder if it's because I felt so at peace and comfortable telling him, that the significance of this moment lessened in some ways and faded into my memories. After all, I remember how I told each individual person in the past, but not him. Instead, I remember the feeling. It was warm, like a sitting across a fireplace with a blanket wrapped around me and a hot chocolate in hand. I felt safe. I knew I was listened to, I understood that he took it all in, and the consideration of my feelings every since then has been sweet. It's like he understood my pain, and didn't think of me as weak or pitiful but instead as if he wanted to protect me from feeling that kind of hurt again.

I still loose myself from time to time, not so much directly from what happened, but more so the lasting effects from it. My current lover is no different, he has his ups and down, some very high and some very low. But seeing the impact I have on him, when he's at his lowest and I was able to pull him out of that, it feels like... retribution, a second chance that God has given me. It's like He doesn't want me to loose this one, He thinks I deserve to keep him. A gift.

But someone so codependent on me can be scary in itself. But I've tried what I thought I wanted - someone who always saw me second after his family, friends, and work. Someone who is only there when wanted, but never needed. I tried that and I felt miserable. Here I have the opposite, what I thought I would never want. But only because I was scared... if someone is this in need of me, what if I leave one day and they break. I don't want to hurt someone like that again... So what if it was someone that I don't want to leave? Someone that I could see potentially being with for the rest of my life? That's okay right?

That's what I think I have here. And I only said "I think", simply because we have a lot more to learn about each other. I still need him to meet my parents, which in itself gives me anxiety for obvious reasons, but also my friends. Here's one thing I know though - I feel happy when I'm with him. It's that similar warm feeling that I was talking about earlier.

August 21st is the day we met - it's only been roughly 2 months but it feels like a lifetime, with so many promises to care and love for each other. I'm scared to hurt him but at the same time I feel so at peace, like I can settle down. This black hole that will forever be there as my heart grows feels accepted, by not just me but him too.

Speaking of, he just called me on Discord... yes, I know. Remember those Skype days? I have that love again, I can only promise to protect it, cherish it, and love it back... and this time, I'll do everything I can so that I don't lose it. I promise.

#text

[sigurdjarlson]

Not to be a hater, Daryl is one of my favs but I personally have doubts he can hold a show by himself and idc what rando they stick him with (probably a woman they’ll ship bait fans with) in it. I don’t think it’ll work.

Like don’t read this if you’re excited about the Daryl spinoff I don’t wanna rain on anyone’s parade. These are just my own opinions

Disclaimer: I haven’t watched the last season but I do know some major plot points and also a lot of the Carol and Daryl stuff

Like I can’t even express my disappointment that the Carol and Daryl spin off was cancelled. I absolutely respect Melissa’s desire for a break. This isn’t about her because she’s valid and I love her. I think they’re just..stupid to go ahead with it without her.

The Carol and Daryl spin off would have worked because they already have this deep rich relationship and it hasn’t been concluded in a satisfying way. (Whether they get together romantically or not)

Also Daryl has arguably always been at his best character wise when interacting with Carol (um prior to the last two seasons at least)

He only started to become a more complex character when his scenes with Carol began. Their shared histories of abuse, his insistence in finding Sophia and grief at failing. The immensely strong bond that develops despite on the surface being quite different at first Comparing s1 and 2 Carol to s1 and 2 Daryl) but they’re really not, they’re both survivors and they find solace in each other.

They both bounce off each other in this really fun way too in more light hearted scenes too. They’re funny together

I genuinely think the episode where her and Daryl are on their own and stay in the woman’s shelter is one of the best episodes.

His relationship with Carol does more for Daryl’s character than any other relationship he has in the show. Merle and Rick definitely play their roles too but she’s the reason most people started liking him.

And Daryl plays a huge role in Carol’s development too of course. (I do think Carol stands in her own as a character way better though and it’s probably because so much of Daryl gets reduced to cool bsdass dude with a crossbow and him grunting in the background for like several seasons)

Carol who goes from flinching at his anger, expecting and accepting what she thinks he’ll do vs Carol eventually grabbing him by the arm while he’s mid rage mode and beating the shit out of guy and telling him to cut that shit out with no fear whatsoever because she knows he’d never hurt her. And Daryl who canonically is difficult to stop when he’s like that stops. For her.

What about how Daryl, the big tough redneck, who once flinched when Carol of all people raises a hand to tend to his wounds because he expects pain. Daryl who covered his scars as quickly as possible so no one sees. And then how Daryl who grows to not only accept physical affection from her but initiate it. The level of trust and love there okay..

But now we have Daryl who fucks random women in the woods and apparently has this grand meaningful relationship with someone he never mentions until now. He then proceeds to kill her and this effects nothing. What even was the point of the Leah arc it was terrible

And don’t even get me started on how poorly their conflict about Alpha and Carol almost dying (and presumably getting Connie and Magna killed due to her recklessness although I’d argue it wasn’t her fault but I digress the show treats it like it is) was handled like it could have been so heart wrenching but no let’s keep this awkward angry tension until we decide it’s better now with no proper resolution.

Also they made Daryl a huge hypocrite in that arc

Like they even say outside of it Daryl is just terrified of losing her but why aren’t you as writers showing that? Why is he just glaring at her and snapping at her over trivial things but we never get him snapping and inadvertently revealing that to her on screen? Give us some kind of emotional catharsis.

Why does he seemingly know she tried to commit suicide and all he has to say about it “thanks for saving her” to Lydia. Also how does he know? did Lydia tell him bc I know Carol didn’t with how she’s been walking on egg shells with him

Canonically Daryl “flips the fuck out when Carol is in danger” would have a pretty damn big possibly explosive reaction to that I think. He’d be angry initially yes because Daryl responds to hurt and fear with anger but at it’s root it’s about losing her. He’d probably say all the wrong things at first but he’d reveal without meaning to how fucking scared he is and how could she even consider…that

And give me her finding comfort in her best friend, finally letting him in like he’s been begging her too and letting out the massive amount of grief and pain she’s been hiding. (She’s lost FOUR children in horribly traumatic ways)

Just we had so much potential and got none of it :(

I’ve seen the ending scene with them and it’s sweet but it isn’t at all what they deserve. I’m not whining bc they should have made them romantically canon (although I do wish they would have) I just want proper resolution to one of the best dynamics the show has ever created.

Angela Kang promised a heart to heart but we never really got that from what I’ve heard? Brief moments but nothing like she promised and Daryl’s continuous flip flopping with her is annoying af.

I don’t think his spin off will work. Especially with some of the silly stuff I’ve heard rumored about it. It’s gonna flop like most of the spin offs will flop.

Like I can’t think of anything less interesting than a Negan and Maggie spin off and I say this as someone who loves Negan.

Rick and Michonne might be alright and at least it’ll give us closure but honestly most people don’t even seem excited about that anymore.

#maybe my opinion will change when I eventually watch the last season but from what I’ve heard what we got was subpar at best and just #bad writing at worst #twd blogging #maybe I’ve missed things and context #I don’t think so tho