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aphroditesbaby1616 · 1 month

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Balessan - (c.b. oneshot)

♡ O.S Inspo: Balessan ; Also known as: Poplar Buds, Balsam Poplar, Balm of Gilead, Mecca, Mecca Balsam, & Bechan - This Magickal herb can be used to bring forth; Love, manifestations, protection, healing, de-stressing, and assisting in healing from the loss of a loved one. Use in love sachets; carry for healing, protection, and mending a broken heart.

♡ Summary: This amazing, big brained, fabulous & wonderful request is inspired from this ask from my beautiful flower @daysofyellowroses - Thank you my love. -- In this O/S You & Carmy spend a day with his nephew at the park!

♡ W/C: 4,200

♡ Posted Date: 03/19/2024

♡ A/N: Aaaa! look at me pumpin' these one shots out like hot cakes!!! Get your requests in folks I have a long weekend ahead hahaha!! This was BEYOND fun to write, thank you so much again Rose for such an amazing request. I hope it's everything you imagined!! I lovee love love writing mushy happy Carmy, he deserves all the love in his life!! I totally see him being the pushover uncle just like this, Happy Meals & Ice Cream for daysss!!! <3

♡ Warnings for BTC: NONE!!! Well... carmy smokes a cigarette at the end? That's all hahah - ***NO USE OF Y/N - AS LITTLE PHYSICAL DESCRIP. AS POSSIBLE - READER IS CALLED 'BLOSSOM' IN THIS O/S :)***

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

Carmen had never felt true love before. He didn’t think he’d ever know what that felt like. He’d heard stories of parents meeting their newborn babies for the first time, saying that ‘it was an indescribable feeling of holding the entire world in the palm of your hands.’ And that to him, sounded like bullshit.

It was sweet and all, but considering the way his mother and father treated he and his siblings growing up- that moment was fleeting at the very least.

That was what he’d thought, until that is- he got the call that would change his life, forever.

Sugar and Pete had kept the gender of their baby a secret, Carmy was very excited for them, and though Pete wasn’t his favorite person- he knew in his heart he’d be a great dad. Better then he could ever do at least, so that had eased his mind for the new blood of his family.

Pete had called to inform him that Sugar had given birth, finally, he thought to himself. He didn’t realize that the labor process could take days. Sugar had went into the hospital on Tuesday, in the early afternoon when her water had broken- it was now 4 pm Thursday evening. It was about time for the kid to make an appearance.

He’d made his way down to the hospital right away, no questions asked. It was Sugar after all, and after Pete had told him she wasn’t having any visitors, but had requested that he specifically come see her- he wasn’t gonna let her down.

He’d even stopped at the 24-hour deli convenience store on the way, getting her a club sandwich that she’d been moaning about not being able to have for months - something about pregnant people not being allowed to have lunch meat? He wasn’t sure what that was about.

When he got in the room, it was so quiet, he could hear his heart thumping in his ears. He wasn’t sure why he was nervous- it’s not like the kid was gonna have an opinion on him…yet. But still, he knew first impressions were important. He also didn’t want to fuck anything up, he wasn’t very sure how to hold a baby- he’d never held Eva when she was young, and he heard babies necks were super floppy, so he was really nervous he’d hurt them by mistake.

“Hey..” he said softly, and Sugar sits up. She looked utterly exhausted, she was pale, her hair was knotted and sweaty all stuck to her forehead, and her eyes were bloodshot from either pain or being so tired, he wasn’t sure which.

“Bear! You came!” She said quietly, opening her arms for a hug. He walks over to her, carefully wrapping his arms around her as he wasn’t sure if her stomach would be hurting or not, and kissing her cheek lovingly.

“Y’re amazing Sugar, you did so good, thats fuckin’ crazy- you had a baby, Sug” he tells her, rubbing her arm gently. Carmen didn’t know much about pregnancy and birth, other than what he’d learned from Sugar over the past year or so. The only thing he really knew about the birthing process was what he’d seen on TV, and the fact that birth hurt like an absolute bitch, and that there was no way around it.

“Thank you…is that-“ she asked, picking up the bag he’d placed next to her on the bed. He smiled a bit, pulling the sandwich out.

“Club sandwich. Don’t say I never listen to you” he teased and she pouted, tears filling her eyes and she pulled him into another hug.

“Y’re the best Bear.” She said. “Sorry…I’m gonna be hormonal for like..another year” she laughed a bit.

He chuckled softly, rubbing her back. “I’m used to it by now.” He teased.

The door opened, and a nurse wheeled in a bundle of white striped blankets in to the room, lying in a bassinet.

“Oh! Uncle is here! Okay so baby did great, they’re all set. We got all the bloodwork we needed, took their k shot, everything is looking wonderful. I’ll let you get acquainted” she said, being sure not to give away the baby’s name or gender before they were ready, leaving the little bundle next to Sugars bedside before heading out and closing the door quietly behind her.

The baby coos, making sweet adorable little noises. Carmen took the bag of food for Sugar, placing it on her bedside table as she carefully picked up her baby, cradling them in her arms.

Carmen was in awe. Everything about them was so…tiny. So pure, so untouched by the world. He carefully nudged the blanket down so he could get a better view of their face, the babies teeny little hand peeking out. He couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped his lips as the babe curled their whole hand around his forefinger.

“Sug” he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes and falling to his cheeks before he could try and hold them back. “Oh god…” he said softly, stroking the baby's tiny fingers with his thumb.

“Michael Anthony Lombardi” she said softly. He looks up at her, jaw dropped.

It was totally something sugar would do, so sentimental. Naming her first son after her 2 brothers. But now, Carmen felt even more attached to the little guy. He was carrying his name- he had to take care of him, protect him, the same way Michael had done for him.

Carmen sniffles, kissing her head and resting his cheek on top of it as he looks down at the beautiful little baby. Well- maybe not beautiful physically- yet. Carmen always thought brand new babies looked fairly weird, of course he’d never tell Sugar that, though.

But, beautiful in the sense that he knew what this baby meant for them, for their family. It was a brand new beginning, and maybe- just maybe…this would be enough to get his mother to clean up her act enough to be the grandmother for this baby how she couldn’t be a mother to he and his siblings. “Nice to meet you, Mikey” he said with the kind of smile that made his eyes crinkle, vision blurry with tears.

It had been about 6 months since you and Carm had met, and one of the things you loved about him was what an active, engaged uncle he was with his little nephew, Michael.

He’d grown plenty now since the first time he and the little cub met, being ‘a whole hand and a thumb’ as Mikey proudly told you the time you’d met the little firecracker at the first family dinner you’d attended.

That little boy was Carmy’s sun, moon, and all of his stars. He was constantly spoiling him with new toys, clothes, taking him out for “Mikey and Bear” days, the kid was the lockscreen on his phone for crying out loud. If you weren’t dating him, with the way he talks about that boy- you’d think he was a single dad.

Sugar very much appreciated it though, she never wanted to stop working when she’d gotten pregnant, so being able to balance four different days off with 3 adults, rather than just split the duties between her and Pete- it helped their lives as a couple run a lot smoother overall.

It took a while for Carmy to even introduce you to Mikey. He’d been nervous, reverting to his old ways of ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ and nothing would crush him more, then introducing his favorite little guy to someone, getting him used to them, and then them leaving him.

He could handle that rejection- but he damn sure wasn’t gonna subject Mikey to that same pain. If there was one thing Carmen swore, it was to protect the child with everything he had.

This was the third time you’d be meeting Mikey. Carmy had asked if you wanted to take him to the park together for a picnic after he’d picked him up from school, and of course you agreed. There was no better way to spend the afternoon than sharing snacks with your Bear under the shade of oak trees from the late spring sun, and chasing around Sugars mini-me until he clonked out on the blanket for a nap.

When you’d arrived to the park to meet them, you spotted Carm’s large black blanket with his backpack and 2 matching big and small Nalgene water bottles, adorned with stickers from different water parks and amusement parks they’d been to together, but he nor Mikey were nowhere to be seen. But you couldn’t miss them with how loud Mikey was being.

“No! No! I call foul!!” Carm laughed boisterously. You continue on, seeing them come in to view past the blockade of a large tree- to find Carmy rolling in the grass as Mikey tackled him for the football he was holding.

“The Cub takes down The Bear at the 20 yard lineee!!” Mikey shouts ferociously, jumping up and pouncing on Carmys chest in a bodyslam.

Carm groans, “Ohhh you little cheater- when did we start wrestling?! They don’t do bodyslams in football, kid” he wraps his arms around Mikey, caging him in and tickling his sides, causing him to squeal and laugh wildly.

“Wow! Uncle Bear has been lacking at the gym, thanks for takin’ care of my light stuff Mikey” you said teasingly with a big smile.

Mikey quickly got up, running over to you “Blossom!!!” he squealed, crashing into your waist, nearly knocking you over in the process. Blossom had become your nickname in the family, since the first time they’d met you, Carm insisted you’d smelt like cherry blossoms, to which Sugar and Richie agreed, so from then on- you were Blossom.

“Woah! Kid you’re getting strong huh? Peewee football training been gettin intense?” You give him a big hug.

Carm chuckled, getting up and dusting the grass and leaves from his hair and shirt, coming over and greeting you with a peck on the lips. “Tell me ‘bout it- Thanks for meeting me, kids got crazy energy today.” He said, ruffling the boys curly soft brown hair lovingly.

“Nowww can we eat our lunch?” Mikey looked up at him, his pretty blue eyes sparkling in the afternoon light. He really did look like Mikey, and Carmy mixed together in the best way. The Berzatto family genes were mighty strong, at least on the men’s side.

“Yes Cub. Y’know…you scammed me into a happy meal before we got here, how can you be so starved?” He teased, causing you to giggle.

“Again? Wow Carm, you’re going softer and softer as the days go by” you teased, sitting down with he and Mikey on the comfortable blanket under the shade of the trees.

“Well it’s hard to tell him no. Did you know he got a 100% on his spelling test t’day? Mikey, tell Blossom how to spell ‘water’ ” he told him with a grin.

Mikey looks over proudly “w-a-t…” he stops for a moment, looking at Carmy nervously.

“You got it bud, keep goin’- sound it out, what’s next?” Carmy encourages gently.

“E! It's E! w-a-t-e-r!” Mikey finishes proudly and you both clap for him excitedly.

“Oh my goodness! You are such a smart boy. Good job Mikey!” You gush, giving him a high five.

“That’s right the smartest. First spelling test of the year, and you nailed it bud!!” Carmy praised, hugging him and kissing his head sweetly.

“Mommy’s gonna be so excited!” He said, sitting crisscross as he opened up his pb&j Carm packed for him.

“She’s gonna be stoked, Cub. Absolutely stoked” you told him, taking the sandwich Carm had offered you.

“Oh! Blossom I learned a new joke- listen, so you say who’s there when I say ‘knock knock’ got it?” Mikey asks and you nod with a smile.

“Alright, thank you for my lines ahead of time, Cub” you joked, earning a chuckle out of Carmen who had surely heard this joke one million times since he’d learned it, considering he saw the kid no less then 5 days a week.

“Knock knock!” Mikey said, looking at you expectantly.

“I’m doing the dishes” you said, causing Mikey to burst into adorable giggles and Carm to follow suit since he couldn’t help himself when Mikey got started.

“Nooo! Blossom!” He giggled “you say ‘who’s there’ this time, ok?” He said and you nod.

“Okay, okay. I’ll make sure to be not so busy this time.” You teased with a giggle.

“Knock knooock!” He said again.

“Hold on just a second! I need to feed mister mittens- my cat!” You said and he laughs again, shaking his head.

“You promised! Blossom! It’s ‘who’s there!’ “ he giggled.

“Okayyy! Okay! Whoooos there?” You oblige.

“Harry!!!” He said happily, popping a grape in his mouth.

“I don’t know a Harry- so scram!” You teased and he laughed so hard he snorted, causing you and Carmy to crack up in a fit of laughs together.

“You’re bad at jokes Blossom, here watch, Bear will do it right f’me. Bear, knock knock” he looks over at Carm.

“Who’s there, Cub?” He said, taking a bite of his own sandwich.

“Harry” he smiled big, “listen blossom” Mikey urges, causing you to giggle.

“Harry who” Carm said with a large grin. “Harry up and open the door it’s raining out here!!!” Mikey said, bursting in to a fit of giggles which of course caused you and Carm to join.

“Ready or not here I come!” You hear Carmy say. You hold your finger to your lips, holding Mikey tightly in your lap in the tube slide so you both won’t fall and give up your ingenious hiding spot the two of you had come up with.

“Shhh! We gotta be quiet Cub or he’s gonna find us- the bear will eat you!” you joked and he covered his mouth quickly to contain his giggles.

“Where are youuuu!” Carmy called from the other side of the playground, you giggled quietly to yourself.

“We picked a good spot bud!” you whisper proudly and he nods, hugging your arm sweetly. Leg suddenly cramps up from being in such an awkward position in a tube meant for children much shorter then you, and you gasp quietly, moving your foot to relieve it but in the struggle- your flip-flop slips off, sliding down the tube slide and you hear it thump on the ground below, blowing up your hiding spot.

You and Mikey look at eachother as you hear Carm laugh, “Ohhhh! Dead!! You’re both dead!” he said and you quickly lift Mikey behind you.

“Go Mikey! Save yourself he’s gonna eat you!!!” you laugh and he scrambles out of the tube as Carm climbs up from the bottom, grabbing your bare foot.

You squeal in laughter as he pulls you down the slide by your feet, catching you at the bottom and kissing all over your face and neck, nibbling as he goes. “You’ve been caught” he growls playfully, pinning your arms above your head and kissing where your shirt rode up over your stomach leaving playful lovebites on your hips.

“Hey!” Mikey yells, running up and hugging Carms leg, hanging on it like a little monkey. “Thats my best friend! Leave her alone you big grizzly bear!” he yells through his giggles, playfully hitting Carmys leg.

“Ohhhh you’re dead Cub, dead meat buddy” he pulled away from you, scooping Mikey up and swinging him around. “Y’think y’can just beat up y’re best uncle mm little man?” he holds him upside down by his legs holding him carefully and dangling him in front of your face causing him to laugh wildly. “I present your savior Blossom, he’s been defeated” he sways him teasingly causing him to laugh more.

“Oh noooo! Cub! The Bear got you! I forgot to tell you….he and I were working together in secret- mwahaha!!” you laugh evilly, tickling his exposed belly and he wiggles screeching in laughter.

“Not fair- Not fair!!!” he said between giggles. Carm carefully laid him on your lap so he wouldn’t get sick from being upside down and checks his watch for the time.

“Alright- we got 15 minutes, do we want swings, slide, or playing a game?” Carmy asked, causing Mikey to whine.

“Noooo! Bear! It’s not time yet!!! It’s not even dark” he pouted, pointing at the sun, causing Carm to smile.

“Y’re right, its not dark, but bein’ a big man in kindergarten means you got big man responsibilities now, like goin’ home and doin’ homework w’Dad yeah? He’s gonna be waitin’ on you, Dad’s not a man I can reason with m’friend, Higher rank on the totem” he ruffled his hair.

“Fiiiine” Mikey grumbled. “I wanna do swings, race me-” he jumps up from your lap, sprinting towards the swingset.

“Wha- hey! You’re supposed to say 1,2,3, go! Those are the rules cheater!” Carmy laughs as he jogs after him. You slipped on your flipflop, going after the two boys.

“I beat you! See Blossom my new shoes make me so fast!” Mikey called to you proudly, hopping up and sitting in the swing as Carmy finally caught up.

“I did! Super fast Mikey!” you agreed with a giggle making your way up to the swingset.

“Oh! Oh! Blossom, let’s see who can get higher!” Mikey said happily and you oblige, sitting on the swing next to him.

“Alright, Bear- you’re the judge I guess” you smiled, starting to pump your legs.

“I’m a tough critic, I expect perfect form outta you” he teased, sitting down on the picnic table in front of the swingset as he watched.

“I’m gonna win” Mikey said confidently, already getting a few feet higher then you had.

You giggled, “Yeah- cause you had a head start” you counter, pumping your legs harder trying to gain more momentum.

“It’s lookin’ good for Mikey babe, keep it up kid y’re doin’ great” Carm encouraged, resting his hands behind his head and stretching his legs out as he watched.

“Bear can I jump off and you catch me?” Mikey asked hopefully to which Carmen laughs.

“Noooo way kiddo, I’m not takin’ a trip to the ER t’night, I got work in the morning and either i’ll end up hurt, or y’mother will kill me” he said, causing you to laugh as well.

“You’re gonna break your neck kid, don’t do that at school, did that once as a kid and I broke my ankle” you giggled, gasping as your flipflop flew off once again and hit Carmen right over the top of the head, causing you and Mikey to burst out in a fit of giggles.

“Hey!” Carm said, rubbing his head jokingly with a chuckle.”Those things are proving to be a horrible choice of park footwear, baby” he snorts, setting the shoe next to him on the bench for when you got off.

“I’m sorry! My work shoes were a worse choice and these are all I had in my locker” you giggled, the wind whipping your hair as you get higher and higher in the air.

“Bear! Bear! Look how high I am!!!” Mikey said proudly to which Carm nods with a big grin.

“That’s right bud! Y’re so high right now, bet you could touch an airplane if it was flyin’ over huh?” he said, digging his phone out of his pocket to take a video. “Say hi to Mommy!” he said and Mikey laughed happily, waving at Carm.

“Hiiii Mommy! I love you!” he said sweetly with a giggle. “Am I beating Blossom? Huh Bear? Am I higher?” he said and Carm chuckled.

“Mhmm- sorry baby, I think Mikey has ya beat this time around,” he said, ending the video and slipping his phone back in his pocket.

“Well how could I beat the best huh?” you mused, stopping pumping your legs so your swing would slow.

“I told you!” Mikey giggled, digging his heels into the woodchips to come to a hard stop and running up to Carmy, giving him a big hug. “Can we get ice cream bear?” he asked and Carm laughed, shaking his head.

“You don’t stop, huh kiddo? No ice cream, It’ll spoil y’r dinner. How ‘bout, if y’really good at school this week- When I get you on Friday, we’ll go you ‘n me yeah?” he pats his back and Mikey nods with a pout.

“Pinky promise” He holds up his pinky and Carmy hooks his own around it, kissing Mikeys hand, and Mikey kisses his.

“See? Deal” he ruffled his brunette curls and got up, grabbing the flip flop and coming up to you, crouching down grabbing your leg and kissing down your calf causing you to giggle before he carefully put the flip flop on your foot.

“I want a piggyback!” Mikey said, jumping on Carmys back to which he caught his balance with his forearm.

“Woah! Okay! Alright piggyback it is bud but y’gotta tell me yeah? We don’t want anyone gettin’ hurt” he told him, hiking him up on his waist as he stood up, Mikey wrapping his arms around his neck securely.

“Ok I’ll tell you next time” he replied. You hopped off the swing, taking Carmy’s hand and interlacing your fingers as you walked, swinging your hands together happily. The weather was absolutely perfect today. Not a cloud in the sky, perfect humidity, 72 degrees, you were surprised there weren’t more people here at the park other than the fact it was a Wednesday afternoon.

The three of you made your way back over to the blanket, and Carmy gently sets Mikey down to fold it up and pack up his backpack with the remainder of the food we couldn’t finish. “Blossom look! Look! I can jump so high in my new shoes!” Mikey said, tugging your pants to look at him and you obliged, keeping him busy as Carm tried to get everything situated to pack into the car.

“Alright little jumping bean, time to go home d’you wanna race to the car, or I’ll carry you?” He asked, putting on his backpack and carrying Mikeys for him.

“Race- 123go!” Mikey said quickly before taking off and you laughed. Carm shakes his head with a smile, holding your hand as you both walked after him to the car.

The ride back was full of laughter and singing Bluey songs, of course. That was Mikey’s favorite show at the moment, and you couldn’t help but smile at the way Carmy sang with Mikey along to every word. Carmy had even gotten a little Bluey air freshener that hung on his rearview mirror, just another little piece of Mikey that hung around, alongside his carseat that permanently lived in the back, the polaroid of him, sugar, and Mikey on his dash, the many toys scattered along the backseat. It was more than clear that the little guy held his entire heart in the palms of his hands.

“Alright buckaroo” Carmy said as he pulls into sugars driveway. Mikey unbuckles himself, flinging forward and wrapping you into a hug.

“Bye awesome blossom, thanks for playing with me” he said sweetly. You smiled, ruffling his hair and wrapping your arms around him.

“We’ll do it again soon, bud. Be good yeah? Listen t’your momma” You told him, patting his back. Carmy got out, grabbing his bluey backpack for him, helping him out of the car and carrying him up the steps, opening up the door and heading in to drop him off.

You opened up the center console, digging out Carm’s cigarettes and a lighter, knowing he was gonna be craving one bad when he got back in the car. Sugar didn’t even have to ask, as soon as the baby was born- if he was gonna be around the baby he wasn’t smoking until after he’d left, so there was absolutely no chance of any secondhand smoke being passed on to him.

Cracking the window, you lit it, taking a drag as he shuts the door behind him and comes back to the car. You offered the cigarette between your fingers and he smiled, taking it after he buckled his seatbelt. “Have I reminded you today, how much I love you my perfect angel” He leaned in, giving you a sweet lingering kiss on the lips.

You smiled, humming softly at the sweet gesture. “Yes- well- not in person today, but, you did text me - good morning, I love you when you went to work, so that counts” he smiled as he took a drag, backing out of the driveway carefully.

“Well, I love you baby, What are we doin’ f’r dinner? Am I cookin’ er we goin out?” he cracks his window, ashing his cigarette before having another drag, resting his tattooed hand on your thigh, stroking gently as he drove.

“I’m in the mood for some Berzatto Family Pasta” you hum, resting your hand out the window to feel the cool kiss of the spring evening breeze. “Family pasta it is, Blossom”

#carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #the bear fic #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fanfiction #the bear fanfiction #the bear #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy #carmy the bear #carmy x reader #carmen x reader

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noremii · 2 years

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A Nerd has Secrets too (M)

Happy 420 followers hahaha!!

Pairing: nerd!jaemin x fem!reader

Genre: smut, drabble, small crack

Smut warnings: anal penetration, fingering, squirting, slight praise

Most people who look at Na Jaemin would see a bright and smart guy who is nice and loving to everyone he meets. Na Jaemin has good grades and treats everyone kindly. He was charming and most definitely a heart stealer (although the heart stealing part is purely unintentional. He's just too charming for his own good)

Everyone in school viewed Jaemin as a model student who would never do anything wrong. He never once broke any rules, he handed in his homework on time and never made any inappropriate jokes.

He was perfect and innocent as some may say.

But honestly, deep down, Jaemin found it amusing how everyone thought he was perfect. He was just fulfilling his duty as a student and as a person.

Outside of school, Jaemin was a completely different.

Let me rephrase my sentence a bit.... In the bedroom, Na Jaemin was a completely different person.

Very, different.

Jaemin, your boyfriend of 2 years had always maintained this picture perfect image in school. So on the day you lost your virginities to each other, you made a very shocking discovery.

Na Jaemin was filthy. Absolutely, filthy.

You didn't mind though, in fact, you adored his so called "double" personality. Not to mention how special you felt knowing that you were the only person who knew a different side of Jaemin that no one else knew about.

After each lustful night you had with each other, you realized jaemin was eager to try out many new things. You consented to it and let him do as he pleased as long as it didn't make you uncomfortable.

Anal was an interesting experience. And since that day where you had Jaemin shoved balls deep in your ass, you've realized that Jaemin slowly and surely got more and more obsessed with your ass. He'd grope or smack your ass at any given moment. Going risky and even doing it in school with a high risk of someone catching him and getting his perfect image destroyed.

Jaemin made sure to stick a finger up your ass at least once a week. "Keep it nice and open" as he says.

---

Jaemin loved the way his cock glided in and out of your ass so smoothly. He held in his groans by chewing on his bottom lip while his eyebrows scrunched together tightly; his hands were busy lifting your hips up and down his cock. "God, look at that ass!" Jaemin exclaims, sending a slap towards your ass making you moan out. "Baby, everything on you is so perfect it should be illegal" he mumbles into your neck, kissing down towards your shoulders while his hands stretch towards your breasts, giving them a little squeeze. "You praise me too much" you say with a small tired laugh, legs growing tired from bouncing.

"Aww but it's true" you hear the pout in Jaemin's voice as he slows you down, squishing your cheeks together and smothering your face with kisses. "Everything about you is perfect" he mumbles through the kiss. You could feel the sudden hard grab on your ass, large warm hands kneading the flesh. "Especially your ass. I really, really, love your ass"

"I know you do" you sigh out, clenching around his cock, savouring the fullness that you felt. His cock throbbed between your legs, always finding home in both your ass and cunt.

"But of course.. " Jaemin's sneaky fingers traced the skin of your thigh inching towards your core. He whispers in your ears, fingers spreading your wet folds. "I love your pussy too" he teasingly rubs your clit a few times before plunging two fingers into your sopping neglected hole. You break into a moan, head thrown back on to his shoulder when he begins thrusting his digits in and out, accentuating your pleasure by thrusting his hips up into your ass. He matches his thrusts in your ass with his thrusts in your cunt. The feeling of both your holes getting filled made your mind go blank. His fingers curl up, rubbing your g-spot perfectly and making you see stars. Jaemin thrusted his fingers as deep as could go until he felt your slick on his knuckles. You could hear the sound of your own wetness with every plunge of Jaemin's fingers.

"Ah, jaemin.. " you moan, eyes closed with your mouth hung open. The pleasure somehow felt even better when you couldn't see. "You love my fingers baby?" He asks and you nod. A soft "Mhm" escaping your lips.

His once moderate paced thrusts seemed to speed up slowly. Soon enough, you found yourself with your brows furrowed, tummy building with pleasure as jaemin rams his fingers in and out of your hole faster. "Cum for me baby, cum" jaemin mutters. His hips began to slam up your ass faster. His cock reaching the deepest parts of your ass, perfect thickness stretching your hole to the max.

"J-jaemin--" you squeak, feeling your orgasm coming closer and closer. Your body began to shake until finally, your legs begin to tremble, lifting up.

You feel jaemin pause all movement. His fingers slowly pulling out from your core. As you recovered from your intense orgasm, you hear jaemin wow in shock behind you. "Holy fuck y/n..." He breathes.

"W-what.. " you mumble out, tired and confused. Brain all foggy, unable to comprehend anything. Jaemin grabs onto your cheeks, squishing them together until you pout, directing your head to wall in front of you. The wall was dripping with something. It took you a while to realize. The wall was dripping with your arousal.

"Did I just.. "

"I made my baby squirt!" Jaemin exclaims behind you. His loud voice hurting your ears and head.

"Jaemin!" You yell out tiredly. "Right, sorry babe" he carefully lifts you off his cock. Your eyes squeeze shut from over sensitivity. Jaemin didn't even realize he came until he saw his white cum dripping from your ass. His mouth parts open in shock, unable to believe he didn't even realize he just orgasmed. But he quickly erases any feeling of shock. Getting you into bed all clean and comfy was his only intention at the moment.

He gently places you in bed, rushing to the bathroom to wet a towel before he wipes your whole body down. Running back and forth between you and the toilet to rinse the cloth that had unfortunately had to collect all the sticky human substances. He dresses you up in your 2nd favorite pair of PJs since your favorite one was still hanging outside.

He takes a quick shower and throws on some sweat pants, not bothering to even try and find a shirt to wear. Jaemin crawls into bed with you, hugging you from behind and throwing a leg over your thigh. He burries his face into your neck.

"What if we sleep with my dick in you"

"Goodnight Jaemin"

ᰔᩚ

Not so sure about this one but I hope you guys like it!

#jaemin smut #jaemin x reader #nct dream smut #nct smut #na jaemin smut

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isekaithatplease · 4 months

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You know what's even ironic,the fact that Kaufman is still in love with navier even though she's now pregnant with heinreys children. And the fact that kosair,naviers brother is a violent man that caused him to be outside the borders and how he even goes tok far as to feed rashta abortion drugs is so scummy. How the hell didn't navier even stop or at least call them out for their shit?

Because Navier doesn’t care. Slavery is a huge problem in her empire but she barely bats an eye at that when we’re supposed to believe she’s this ‘fantastic empress.’ Honey- where??? ((Stop congratulating people for doing the bare minimum lol)) It’s really just a bunch of telling but no showing especially for a story that should be a bit more politically involved?? Plus We really don’t see her interact with the lower class save for that magical orphan who- as we see has to be magical in order to get said attention in the first place! (Fantastic philanthropy really)

How ironic would it have been if she’d been originally pushing to end slavery before Sovidiot brought in Rashta?

Ngl Id actually be more sympathetic to Navier as a whole as despite her cold exterior it showed that you know she was actually pushing for reform for the lower class citizens! But nah she can’t be bothered to deal with peasants.

But back to your point- Can someone please tell me what the whole point of the Kaufman/Navier plotline was? Because honest to goodness it sounds like pointless drama to extend the story length at this point. Either that or just show how irresistible goddess Navier is.

Someone once reblogged/replied to my last post and said that no one in this series is a morally good person. That’s fair. I agree they’re all pretty terrible people in their own ways. Honestly I’ve said it time and time again. I don’t have a problem that they’re terrible people.

Good characters =/= good people

What irks me is when the novel disrespectfully handles heavy topics like slavery and trauma to build up its Mary Sue fl. The whole story markets itself as being some pro feminism revenge story but it’s really not? It doesn’t feel like at least half of the cast gets their proper comeuppance? No seriously- Sovieshu should’ve kicked the bucket. Heinrey and his creepy friend should’ve been held more accountable to a higher degree as well.

Navier isn’t a girl’s girl at all. To both the character and story’s fault Everyone must either worship her or hate her. No one who disagrees with her is allowed any sort of meaningful empathy that Navier in my opinion is sort of undeserving of. (Anyone is free to argue this- but she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and everything magically works out for her. I’m supposed to feel more sorry for her than the girl who was sold by her abusive father into slavery?) hahaha no.

At this point I’d advise people who actually want to see a pro feminism story with political intrigue to read ‘I’ll Saved this damn family!’ Now that’s a story that can treat other women who aren’t the fl well and promotes pretty good relationships between them too.

#anti remarried empress #anti Navier #anti Heinrey #rant #isekai

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bodycountgame · 1 year

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Hello! I was a big fan of the series a while a go and it is lovely to see that you are back. I'm terribly sorry that other anons put you through a lot with the voting aspect of the game. Absolutely no one deserves death threats for a story that they are bringing to us for free. However, I am not going to lie, I always feel a bit worried when a fandom majority vote is what has long lasting effects on character life/death. It was ok when it was everyone voting with an equal effect. Now there will be a wealth gap to vote. Only people that pay can contribute. And at least where I'm from wealth looks a certain kind of way.

Since you have characters that are in a minority it feels... Bad. Maybe I'm projecting how racist and transphobic my home country is on the vote for this game. I also don't want you to feel like this is an attack on you because that is not my intent at all! I love the diversity in the love interests and it was what brought me to the game initially. I am worried that if you do a majority vote on Patreon that characters that aren't white/cis will face a harsher vote. Trans lives are in danger and I was not surprised when a nonbinary character died first. I was part of the fandom and people treated them very grossly (it actually made me step away for a bit as well). There were many options but the vocally out and proud person got the boot first. What I'm saying is I trust you more than your Patreon supporters. If the people can't all vote as one, due to the actions of some terrible people, then maybe we shouldn't vote at all

anon, i totally understand your concerns because i absolutely shared them. to be completely honest with you, i had totally misjudged which characters i thought were popular or not and watching the three non binary cast members struggle through that first vote felt Bad. my personal disappointment about ellis being the character to receive the least votes in the vote contributed in no small part to the twist in chapter 3 and their revised arc (which was Not planned when i set out writing body count hahaha). howeverrrrrr, i did learn a lot from the process.

my main motivator behind making the vote patreon exclusive was that the voters would be genuinely invested in the game and that the polling would be much harder to game or manipulate. selfishly, i also think it will reduce a certain amount of the absolute barrage of wild anons from the first time around haha!

in addition to that, though, i think its important that i reaffirm what i have said from the start: i am acutely aware that in interactive fiction in general and particularly on tumblr there is a strong preference for white male characters, and i am not here to write some kind of gross POC/women/nb slasher. as much as i want the audience to have a say in the direction the story takes, i ultimately have final say on what happens in the story that i am writing.

the main way that i intend to have oversight of the voting process is by who appears on the polls in the first place; the first poll was the last time the whole cast will be available for a vote at the same time. since ellis, one of three NB cast members, was the first character to die, i've said that neither of the other NB cast members will appear on future polls. if it's women and POC suffering in the next vote, then i'll be applying similar logic. if that means we get towards the end and we need a white boy only poll then so be it!

that said, if people cannot behave then i will simply take away their toys. although i consider the voting mechanic to be one of the things that makes body count unique and fun, i'm absolutely not above doing away with it if there are Shenanigans that spoil it, ya know?

anyway, i hope that assuages some of your concerns! sorry for another giant wall of text wow i simply cannot answer a question concisely atm

#technical stuff #The Vote #faq #does this even make sense idk hope so!!

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twinkleomorashi · 19 days

Text

(Not omo, mental health mention but not really a vent just a personal post)

I think my little roadtrip situation will be good for me bc me and my gf are spending four whole days together in which I will basically be forced to get over myself lmfao.

Like oh we’re going to the beach?? Gotta take off my shirt for my swimsuit in front of my gf!

Sleeping in the same bed?? It’ll be okay to hold her and be held

So many opportunities to kiss and hold hands too! Skills I am still mastering lol.

I know it’s funny because hahaha I run like a well known (by piss standards) horny blog and write infinite smut but after what happened with my ex im so terrified of intimacy but i WANT IT SO BAD. I actually can’t even think about me and my gf actually fucking like I get so flustered that that is even a possibility. I want it so baddd she’s literally the hottest girl on the planet I see her and my brain short circuits. but in order for that to happen I need to AT LEAST get over myself first.

Who knows tho maybe as a graduation present my brain and the universe will allow me some lesbian sex as a treat idk

#don’t reblog #that’d be weird so I don’t think yall would but just in case

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smokestarrules · 2 years

Note

I want ALL of your Amity's analysis. Do u hear me? ALL, hahaha

ok bet

The family Amity grew up in was very simple: Odalia and Alador are the authority, Edric and Emira can do no wrong (though, of course, it’s more complicated than that), and Amity can never be enough.

Luz was everything Amity wanted to be herself.

She loved Grudgby, but she stopped playing it because she didn’t like the person she was while playing.

She has no fucking idea on how to talk to people, including and especially Willow.

Amity wasn’t going to fucking dissect Luz, and neither was Principal Bump.

Amity Blight does not cheat. That is an essential part of her character. She does not cheat to get to where she is, because 1) Blights don’t cheat (and it doesn’t matter whether or not that’s actually true) and 2) Amity doesn’t cheat. Amity doesn’t cheat because she’s worked hard for every single thing she’s ever been given and cheating would undermine her entire character.

She doesn’t have many safe spaces, so when she does find one, she makes sure to go all-out on making it feel like home.

Amity grew up having to justify every single thing she did to her parents, having to justify her own existence, and that especially includes things she enjoys.

If Luz hadn’t joined Edric and Emira in the library during Lost in Language, the relationship between the twins and Amity literally would have been damaged irreparably. She would have never spoken to them again.

Luz was the first person on-screen to make her laugh.

She is just a little bit dumb sometimes <3

Luz saying “We can fix this together” in Understanding Willow is one of the most monumental moments in Amity’s entire life.

If it weren’t for Luz, Amity almost 100% would’ve campaigned for the role of Grom Queen. Because Luz was there, though, her fears changed, and she knew it.

Amity was going to confess to Luz before she had to go and fight Grometheus in Enchanting Grom Fright, but Luz offering to take her place stopped her in her tracks, because she wasn’t at all ready for that.

Amity’s fear, too, is the culmination of everything she was scared of losing, not just Luz rejecting her advances.

After King’s reassurance in Eclipse Lake, she’s self-aware enough to understand that the similarities between herself and Hunter don’t necessarily have to be a bad thing, and she makes a conscious effort to reach out to him.

She started learning Spanish before she was stranded in the Human Realm in an attempt to further connect with Luz.

Amity does not snoop through Luz’s things even when she thinks knowing more could help because she’s had that happen to her and she understands how small it makes you feel. She is ridiculously emotionally intelligent when it comes to Luz, and, later, when it comes to herself.

She would do anything for her friends.

She’s the only witch who’s ever read The Good Witch Azura series, which she latched onto because it served as a sort of escape for her. She sees herself within Hecate, because despite her wrongdoings, the narrative treats her with kindness. Consequently, the book in which Hecate is effectively redeemed is the only one she hadn’t been able to collect herself.

She sets incredible boundaries with her father. He’s trying now, sure, but that doesn’t take back the years of pain, and it shouldn’t.

Amity gets noticeably more and more silly as the time goes on, because she’s coming back into herself.

Also as time goes on, her magic grows more versatile!

She was not trying to antagonize Willow in Labyrinth Runners, but trying way too hard to protect the person that she had once hurt so deeply. It’s a setback, nothing more, and one that arises from miscommunication. It’s settled, too. They’re on the same page now.

And because of that, Amity is able to let herself be silly with Willow, too!!

She may be the least powerful (certainly one of the least powerful, at least) of the main cast, but that’s a good thing.

It’s also a good thing that we haven’t seen her library hideout since season 1, as cute as it was. She doesn’t need it anymore.

Over time, her relationship with her siblings has improved to the point that they know her well enough to know how to calm her down, and she’s comfortable with them to be able to talk freely about Luz.

Amity still had hope for Odalia, because even after everything she’s done to her, Amity still wanted to believe that she wasn’t all bad.

She tried so hard to make sure Luz also got through the portal in King’s Tide. She would’ve stayed behind if Luz did.

Amity knows full well in Thanks to Them that Luz is feeling guilty, if not the extent of it, and she tries to help out by setting up Halloween costumes that she thinks they’ll both love; Hecate and Azura, which is the thing they bonded over initially.

Recognizing that Luz doesn't feel like she deserves love, Amity quotes her girlfriend to show her that, yes, she does, and this is how much she means to her.

#what? you did say 'all'#god this took a while but it's worth it dhgjkdlfsghdf #toh #toh spoilers #the owl house #the owl house spoilers #amity blight #luz noceda #willow park #lumity #smokey answers #anonymous

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nobody-is-here01 · 7 days

Note

back on my bullshit, (im here to spam you Marine Luffy stuff)

Thinking about Marine Luffy’s dynamic with the 7 warlords and it's one of the funniest things ever.

Boa Hancock is going to get her own post because I have SO MUCH to say about her and Canon! Luffy along with Marine Luffy’s dynamic with her.

Anyway, personal headcanons of what I think Marine Luffy and the Warlords dynamics are.

Doflamingo: Luffy is usually the one who during Warlord meetings has to deal with Doflamingo’s bullshit. This is partially because Luffy is the only thing that really puts the fear of god back into Doflamingo. Also, Marine luffy is absolutely feral, and terrifying, and does indeed bite. I think in some twisted ways Luffy in this AU reminds Doflamingo of when he's younger. In some fucked up way of trying to cope with trauma Doflamingo tries to simulate situations that he went through as a kid to see how Luffy reacts. To see if things had been a bit better, if things had been different, if Doflamingo could have been a better person. The Dressrosa Arc still happens in this AU except a bit later. As Doflamingo’s tyrant rein finally falls he realizes that “huh maybe we never were that similar…”

(I have no idea if this AU is a Crocomom AU or not but I’ll go ahead and write up how it would go in either situations.)

Crocodile: Dynamic is definitely more cold and distant than in an AU where Crocodile is Luffy’s other parent. Luffy is seen as a threat, and Crocodile has at least 15 different drawn-up plans on how to deal with him. (none of these plans would actually work in practice.) The dynamic is pretty much just business, you leave me be I’ll leave you be.

Crocomom: Similar to the first one. Except the first time he meets Luffy and he hears that he's Garp's grandkid he's freaking the fuck out. Because holyshit, that's his alive, grownup, kid. Crocodile has no idea how to explain to Luffy that like “hey im your biological mother, now a man, hahaha…” So Crocodile simply doesn't. (The two of them do have a heart-to-heart much later alone in Impel down during the breakout.)

Moria: Honestly I don't have much to say about him. Luffy absolutely hates Hogback and Absolom though. So Luffy has a dislike for Moria and what he does. But Moria out of all the warlords not including Kuma is the easiest to deal with, so that earns him some brownie points.

Kuma: Im not sure if you caught up with the latest chapters. (specifically his backstory chapters) so I will be staying silent for now as not to spoil anything for you.

Mihawk: Mihawk is both intrigued and concerned at the beginning. Because that is Shank’s hat, and Shank’s kid. Why is Shank’s brat in the Marines?? Mihawk also like all the other warlords tends to use Luffy as some form of a coping mechanism. It's not uncommon to hear about Luffy and Mihawk getting into another physical fight. But after a while, Mihawk does realize that he has been accidentally treating Luffy as if he is Shanks. Mihawk realizes that he can't force Luffy to become his new sparring partner. Luffy is not Shanks, and he can't fill that hole either. After Marine Ford Mihawk reads the news regularly, a rare grin on his face whenever he catches sight of a straw hat.

Jinbei: That is Luffy’s emotional support parental figure your honor! The only one who is normal, safe, and sane. Also, the only one to look at Luffy and go “Are you okay?? I don't think healthy humans are supposed to act like that.” Also, the one to get Luffy to open up and heal slowly after Marineford. Also Luffy definitely knows the full truth of what happened to Fisher Tiger in this AU, so yeah that's something.

(I am so sorry, this is a really long post 💀)

Aaaahhhhhh!!! I've missed you and your bullshit bombarding my asks!

I love how with each dynamic all of them are also like, 'alright this kid is fucked up, keep an eye on him' but for different reasons

So here are some of my thoughts on what Marine Luffy’s relationship is with the warlords (love yours so much)

Crocodile : so unfortunately not a coco-mom au, like you said their relationship is strictly business, Luffy doesn't really care for the warlords as long as they don't get in his way.

Domflamingo : Luffy finds him kinda annoying so he tries to avoid any situation where he would meet him, unfortunately he can't at warlord meetings, but he's tried, probably one of the only warlords Luffy wouldn't mind punching out of the blue, dude would punch him without reason (gets away with it too)

Kuma : (no sadly not that far yet but I know a bit of his background not much though) but Luffy likes him

Moria : almost the same relationship as Domflamingo, except he just straight up avoids him, unless he has to deal with Moria then he will and he'll do it quickly

Mihawk : one of the few warlords Luffy actually respects, he admires his fighting and his character, granted it annoyed him a bit to constantly be reminded of Shanks, like you said he also like the other warlords used luffy as some form of coping, but after he realized what he did he stopped and him and Luffy kinda became like gossip buddies, like they'd hang out whenever Mihawk was in the area, but Luffy wouldn't actively seek him out, Mihawk would have to come to him if he wanted someone to talk to or spar with,

Jimbe : only warlord and person that Luffy actually likes from the warlords, yes he likes Mihawk, but Jimbe is different, Luffy has a sort of awe for Jimbe and felt very honored to know about him and his past with Fisher Tiger, Jimbe is the only one who knows that Luffy secretly wishes he was a pirate instead of a Marine, when Jimbe asked why Luffy didn't just become a pirate now Luffy replied saying that he's made so many promises to the people he protects that he doesn't want to go back, not now at least, Jimbe is also the only one who knows about Ace and Sabo and how much Luffy misses them and how proud he is of them

absolutely love your asks 🩷

Have aa good day/night

#one piece #my asks #marine luffy #monkey d luffy #seven warlords #sir crocodile #dracule mihawk #jimbei

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bunji-enthusiast · 24 days

Note

Heyyy! I was out of town the whole day and came back just now I'm exhausted so this request might be short or too dumb XD

Sonic x reader

A Halloween night and reader was out trick or treating but it's midnight so time to head home, and sonic exe decides its funny to try and scare reader on the way back chasing them around doing his best to scare them

But reader is just pretending to be scared of him and hides, and when exe least expect they jump out from behind a tree and jumpscares him!

The Scariest Halloween (If that’s true)

Note || ohhh! This is such a fluffy fluff idea ❤️

WC || 729

“Oh this was such a great haul!”

Letting out a hum of agreement, you nodded. All the candy looked real tasty, but there were a few you didn’t have a particular liking too – so you handed those off to your friend.

You wondered if the streets were still open, but few here and there were already settling down into the night. Even with some that are actually already done with all the trick or treaters, you could recall a few good costumes you found during your extensive time as one of the few who actually decided to go out for halloween.

“Yeah,” Your friend says, “I gotta head home now, my mom set a curfew and I can’t be late.” They sheepishly said. You raised a knowing brow, but shrugged, you can understand their situation; “Don’t worry, I will be fine by myself. I need to go home too anyway.”

They smiled with relief, feeling as if a burden had been lifted from their shoulders. They waved you goodbye as they shouted, ‘Thank you! You're the best as always.’ You let out a long sigh, feeling a creeping anxiety set into the pit of your stomach. You didn’t like being alone by yourself at night on the streets, especially not for long. Regardless, you could manage in your unfortunate circumstances.

Though, all those costumes you saw were simply so comforting and dazzling.

Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z, Clowns, and a few. You couldn’t remember them all exactly, but they were very precious. There were pictures as proof, as you did ask for permission to take them. You thought they were nice people, having even exchanged contact information with one of them. Your friend from before was that person, you just clicked with them instantly. You wished they would have stuck around a little longer.

“Well, gotta get home.” You sigh, walking down the street as you keep your head held high. Not letting any little sound or misstep scare you.

Sounds of footsteps resound in your ears, reminding you to keep walking. It was your own fortunately, but something eerie sounded beneath your own. You certainly didn’t want to find out the source of that sound. So on forth, you continued walking. Up ahead you could see trees appear, laying in a row in front of the sidewalk you were walking upon. For a moment, the muscles in your ear spasmed, alerting you to something. It was random at times, but this appeared to be worse.

An all too familiar laugh resounds in your ear, glitchy yet affirming your silent suspicions. “You have to be kidding me.” You raise a brow, then continue walking, shifting into a hunched over stance as if to display to your pursuer that you were indeed scared of the situation you were placed in. For the most part, you could feel as if it worked. Sensing steps creeping up behind you, you jolted, shifting fully into running away. You didn’t want to stick around for his antics, you’ve had enough of them. But you could play into them for his sake, this felt fun for once.

“HAHAHA!” His laugh resounds once again in your ears, but it was as if it was stimulating. Yes, that was the word. Silly as it may sound, but his laugh was reassuring, that you weren’t actually alone.

And for a few minutes more, he chased you around the neighborhood. Having only lost sight of you once you dived behind somewhere, causing him to look around in confusion. Normally he had such good sight, so he looked around more, eyes glazing over the environment with careful trepidation.

‘No way I’m gettin old’ the demonic hedgehog thinks to himself, then shakes the thought off. “Hide And Seek huh? You may have chosen the wrong game.” He says, laughing once more as he looks around for you. His path was set and predetermined, so it wasn’t hard for you to angle your way around him, staying out of sight in the process.

Once you felt he was cornered, you snickered to yourself.

You could finally get the jump on him!

Carefully you stepped out, maneuvering your way toward him from behind so as to not alert him to your presence. He was still clearly very much looking for you, but it was in his unlucky state that you were actually-

“BOO!”

#sonic.exe x reader #sonic.exe #sonic

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soracities · 7 months

Note

it's been a month since i encountered larissa pham's crush (pop song) (i think i saw it from you) and it hasn't left my mind, so i wanted to start a discussion or know your thoughts about it. i know that having a crush is something that most of us can relate to. but i've always seen statements where people say when their crushes start to like them back, they begin to lose interest. i haven't experienced it. although i think it's because i haven't been liked back (at least in the way that it's been properly communicated or something that I felt), i always experienced being treated differently whenever someone that I have a crush on became aware of my feelings (whether it's from my confession or someone who know us told them my feelings) nonetheless, i just don't get the reason behind people say they lose interest when their crushes start to reciprocate their feelings. isn't the point of a crush for them to notice you or like you back? if not, then please, can someone explain or let me understand the rationale why people lose interest when their crushes like them back? anyone, anons, pls feel free to pitch in. so sorry guys for this nonsense hahaha. thank you.

I haven't read "Crush", but in response to your question--from my own experience and understanding at least--I think a lot of our expectations around crushes depend a great deal on where exactly our feelings for them are coming from, and this isn't always straight-cut for everyone. As much as having a crush can sometimes be giddyingly freeing in a sense, as though you've finally been released from the boring confines of your own being, it can also be something deeply reflective with regards to your own life and your own emotional landscape. Crushes are interesting in that, in the early stages at least, a lot of the time it's not so much about the actual person but your idea of that person and what they represent: and unlike the actual person, what they come to symbolise for you is something that exists entirely in your own head--and when it is in your head it is, crucially, under your control. There's a really good section in Alain de Botton's Essays in Love that I actually think does a great job of explaining this:

Whatever you imagine unfolding between yourself and the person you like are at the end of the day nothing but fictional narratives that are entirely on your terms: you can play out everything you've ever wanted someone to say or do or express to you. It's a very safe and (somewhat) fulfilling form of validation with very little risk. And I think this element of distance, fantasty, and control is partly why some people find themselves no longer liking someone when this person likes them back--the illusion of control a secret or unrequited crush gives you is suddenly gone and now you have to contend with reality. And reality is unpredictable. You go from something totally risk-free to something fraught with risk at every turn. And how you contend with that risk is a good indicator of what actually might be fuelling your crushes beneath the surface, and who those crushes tend to be on. In your fantasies, you don't have to contend with jealousy, insecurites, miscommunication, petty disagreements. But in real life you do. And underneath jealousy, insecurity, disagreement and miscommunication lie a host of other issues that you have to confront and work through and that can seem, depending on how immense they are for you, daunting and terrifying because they do not allow you a way out of your own messiness and imperfection.

This is not to say that people who have crushes and respond in this way aren't aware of their own flaws--but I think the problem here is precisely that they may be too aware of them (and I include myself in this). Such hyperawareness is actually detrimental to the risks required to try and confront those issues because knowing every little detail about your flaws can make them seem insurmountably pervasive to you: you spend so much time analysing them that they actually eclipse everything else about you, so that it seems as though you are nothing but this deeply flawed and problematic being. In such a scenario the relative safety of your unspoken crush fantasy far outweighs the reality of having everything you feel you are defined by actually seen by someone else. Because you've spent so long cataloguing all your faults in microscopic detail, you assume everyone is going to subject you to the same harsh, withering glare you give yourself.

I think the difference between people who have crushes with the genuine hope and intention that they will be returned, and those who run away at the first hint of real affection comes down to that: an awareness and firm belief in the value of your own being, in what you do deserve and what you don't. Whatever the Crush™️comes to symbolise for someone, it can be just as indicative of what they like and value in a partner as it can be of what they lack and most desperately need for themselves: a crush, because of all the meaning, you've imbued them with, becomes a convenient stand-in for those needs (because it is a lot easier, as I said, than confronting them). As a result, we convince ourselves that this person is the solution when the reality is that, most of the time, the solution lies elsewhere. Sometimes it's simply down to a boredom that the giddyness of liking someone distracts you from. Sometimes it's something far deeper.

At the end of the day, a great deal of love, or any romantic affection, requires you to put yourself, at some point, into the eyes of your most beloved--you learn to understand and accept certain aspects of how they see and feel things in the world around them. Part and parcel of that, though, is that you also have to see and accept how they see you--you have to accept the love and affection they offer you, the love and affection they hold for you, as a fundamental truth to them. You have to accept being seen fully, with your virtues and your flaws, without imposing your idea of yourself on someone else who doesn't share that--in other words, not believing, as that excerpt says that there must be something wrong with them for liking "someone like me".

But if you're at a point where you cannot see that in yourself, or aren't ready to begin seeing, or even just accepting it from another, when you can only see everything that you feel is unattractive and wrong with you, you end up with your wires crossed: you assume that what they see has to be what you see or otherwise that you've just fooled them into thinking otherwise and it's a matter of time before they realise it--your own image of yourself is so certain because it's the most fixed and enduring image you have: it's familiarity makes it seem safer and that makes it harder to give up when someone arrives at your doorstop with an incomprehensible reality--that, actually, they do like you back. And actually, no, it's not a trick.

As I said, I think crushes are incredibly interesting because, the giddiness aside, the few times I've had them I've always wound up realising something about myself that had never ocurred to me until then. It's allowed me to recalibrate and reassess many things and a lot of it is painful, but it's also deeply important. Being loved and wanted romantically is something most people desire, one way or another, and when you find yourself frequently getting in your own way--despite genuinely wanting these romantic connections--there can be a variety of reasons underlying that depending on your own emotional makeup, your own personal histories, and your own fears and experiences.

#ask #anonymous #notes from elsewhere

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brandtner · 7 months

Note

As an Eastern Euro yourself how would you make the entire East Euro? (Since you said Himaruya screwed the whole region up). As someone who’s not from the region, my current thought is that if it were up to me there would be less blonds lol. Also: specific opinions on Russia, Ukraine and Belarus?

Yes, yes :D Less blonde I agree.

Russia - for me as a person who lives among them he's just... Too nice? Too well-behaved? Something like that. He needs just a little bit of spice, not too much. I would've also incorporated his sense of humor in some way, because it's a thing that is absolutely unique and IMO Russians have the best sense of humor in the world. And cartoons. Also his lack of organisation and general incompetence in EVERY SPHERE, I never saw that in Hetalia. Only his brutality. Shallow really. It must be there, that's what the Russians are mostly known for. Their main stereotype. He lacks carelessness

Belarus - I do get it. She's cold because of political reasons, only country in Europe to have death penalty... But I wish that she could also be warm. For example, yes, cold in the international arena, but comically warm and jolly among her friends. Belorussians are INSANELY nice and good people, like, I never met anyone on the same level. I absolutely love them and I am forever grateful to God for putting so many in my life. It's a miracle. I don't deserve this lol Also maybe a bit more play with Lithuania and Belarus, how he used to rule her, how she stole his coat of arms (xD), they're just a lot alike (same national bird etc). More spice in their relationship, not just Lithuania having a crush on her, but maybe accusing her of things, etc. Conversing about their love for potatoes. You know, things from everyday life that happen there.

Ukraine - Terrible. First of all, never met a Ukrainian without a tan in my life. They're reasonably positioned in southern Europe, the black sea... They're pretty dark although not all of them but I think it would be awesome if Bel and Russia were so pale and white and Ukraine tan but maybe still with blonde hair. It would contrast nicely. Tits, agreed. Poor gal? I don't think so, Ukrainians are quite strong and DEFINITELY NOT pushovers. What her design lacks are main events of Ukrainian history: Issues with Poland, nazi collaboration. Some edginess to her character. They're a bit nationalistic, but you can't blame them for it since how Russians and Poles treated them. (albeit they weren't exactly goodies either)

Latvia - I wish someone just read latvian history at least once in their lives. Just, one person, please. Hahaha. So basically, making Latvia more weak than Lithuania is a CRIME. At least more morally weak. Latvia had COLONIES, a great fleet, they were influenced with Germans, hence the better the development of his than that of Lithuania who was influenced by Slavs, LATVIA was the ONLY baltic state who fought the Nazis, who defended their country when they occupied them. Lithuania just let them in. He's just incredibly underrated, you can't just base his entire design on how he looks in 21st century. I'm not saying he's supposed to be buff and strong, because he is weaker in terms of military and sovereignty, but making him a woman I think would be very cool? Since the Latvian girls are the tallest in Europe. So making her tough in medieval times then making her weak in modern times would be pretty easy. They're way better than Lithuanians morally and behavior wise. Latvia is more liberal and easy going when it comes to ethnical issues, they don't really care that they're getting assimilated into Russia when Lithuania is really mean about it.

Lithuania - His name doesn't exist. The national clothes he's wearing in his design are incorrect, they look Ukrainian. Hair colour is very on point. Other than that, he has no right to be as nice as portrayed. They're usually mean and very passive aggressive. Terrible sense of humor. They're called the Italians of the North so that would be cool to see, making him the most emotional or in-your-face attitude out of all northerners. It's not good that his love for singing, the entire basis of that country - singing, was never put into spot. I think it should be mainly based off that. More pagan stuff, they had remaining pagans up until the 19th century which is unbelievable, and that religion still exists now, people practice it. Also its a bit hard to speak of it as one country because there's like 5 regions there and people in each one of them differ a lot. Samogitians don't even consider themselves lithuanian.

Hungary is way too nice too. Their politics or history are not nice at all, they have an attitude of an oppressor. She looks too normal, there's not much hungarian about her, give her some special features. Should be made into a duo with Poland since they both call themselves brothers.

Slovakia - should never exist and should never deserve own design and appearance in the series. Die Slovakia

Poland - Gay weak inconsiderate irresponsible annoying and lame. So 100% accurate. Very nice, I agree, good job Hima.

Also it would be cool to see Königsberg in the series!

#hetalia #asks #I dont really see an issue with their hair except Ukraine and maybe Russia

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