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taintandviolent · 18 days

Text

Knead ; Kit Walker x reader

summary: Kit hasn’t been coping well with Briarcliff life, and developed an unhealthy solution to the numbness he feels on a daily basis. You’re a perfect, beautiful part of his plan.

word count: 1.7K

w a r n i n g s: hurt, angst, depression, kind of whump, brief mentions of smut, female receiving, violence, fist fights and brief mention of injuries.

a/n: my first official Kit Walker fic!! requested by an anonymous!! anon; hope this is what you had in mind and I delivered!! I tried to focus more on Kit’s motivations and issues than the smut, so that’s why it’s a little lighter on the fucking this go round! I dunno why I struggle writing for Kit so much, aaaaah! also written at work, so usual apologies for any disjointed or clunky writing!!!

full fic under the cut! / ao3 link here! / I don't have a taglist, but please turn on post notifications if you want to be notified of future fics!

The storm raged on outside, a horrible deluge that had lasted days. Kit's dark eyes flitted to the clock on the wall. The hands ticked by but time never seemed to change. Not here. He needed to feel something. Anything. The days turned into weeks, weeks into months and nothing ever changed. He was an accused man, previously compos mentis, but with his surroundings, that title deteriorated gradually.

Kit Walker was losing it. Slowly, but surely. The cold, grey tone of Briarcliff was swallowing him whole, like a starved, but fading beast. Days were the worst - at least come evening, he could sleep. With sleep, came dreams. Dreams of somewhere else, dreams of you. Days were long and dreary, and Kit soon realized that the only thing that mattered were physical feelings. His mind wasn't a safe place to be. The truth of it was, Kit felt his fire burning out, and started acting out.

First, it was intentionally burning the biscuits. He was reprimanded and sentenced to biscuit duty for the next two weeks. Then it was sneaking out from the common room on repeated occasions, sulking along the hallways as though he wanted to get caught. Deep down, he did. Reprimanded again, and confined to solitary as punishment. But that afternoon, he craved something deeper. He needed something that would last, and Sister Jude had an unusual streak of mercy lately. It had to be good.

"Hey, sugah’."

Your tired hands stopped their kneading. You looked up, wide-eyed, with a smear of flour across your cheek. He didn't know it, but you'd had a thing - a silly little crush - on Kit Walker since you saw him in the common room during your first week. You'd heard the rumours, but every time you exchanged words, he was the nicest guy you'd ever met. Seemed like he had good, strong family values and manners -- which was more than you could say for most of the men you'd met.

Kit spotted the dash of white and reached out, wiping it away with the pad of his thumb. You really were one of the cutest girls he'd seen since Alma. It wouldn't be hard to do what he wanted... what he needed to do to feel again.

"Hi, Kit." You murmured, frustrated before returning to the pile of off-white dough. The last thing you needed was a distraction; the biscuits were already hard enough to get right, and Sister Jude was a stickler for them being made correctly.

"Whatsa' mattah'?" He could sense your irritation, and furrowed his brows. Maybe his plan wasn't going to work after all.

"I can't... get these darn biscuits right! Every time I try, they come out too hard and I'm just..." You grit your teeth and shoved the mound of dough away from your hands. "I'm so frustrated!"

"Dough duty, huh?"

You nodded, and pushed a strand of hair out of your eyes with your wrist.

"Here, sweethaht', lemme' show you. I've done enough of 'em to know how to do it right."

He was suddenly behind you, his arms stretching out to the table in front of you. He rested his hands atop of yours, and slowly began moving them, kneading them slowly. Much slower and softer than you had been.

"Just like that," he murmured, his lips close to your ear. "You gotta' be gentle with 'em... firm, but not too much... or they'll seize up on ya', makes 'em tough." His words were low and sweet, and you didn't have to try very hard to find another meaning to them. They evoked a deep, body-rocking shiver from your core. It travelled up your spine and made your teeth chatter. Kit laughed breathily behind you.

"Am I doing it right?" You whispered, your voice sweet and demure, laced with intention. "I have a tendency to wanna'... go fast."

"Slooow, sugah', nice n' slow. Othawise..." His teeth grazed your ear. "The dough won't rise."

Without warning, you rutted your ass against his groin, moaning aloud. You ground your ass against him slowly, just like he told you to. Kit made a fist in the dough over yours, forcing your hands deep into the flour. This was progressing faster than he expected. He hadn't known you'd be so willing to his advances. His cock twitched to life, tightening the front of his pants.

"You want it bad, sugah'?"

"I want it bad," you echoed. Suddenly, all worries of getting caught went out the window, you were no longer concerned about which Sister would find you - you just wanted him.

It had been weeks since either of you felt intimacy, felt that clawing hunger as it boiled in your core. You whimpered and dropped your head to his shoulder.

"Let me feel you, Kit... please..."

Kit ripped his flour-covered fingers from the dough, and reached back to his crotch, pulling his throbbing cock from his pants. He flipped the edge of your uniform up, and pressed his heavy cock against the curve of your ass. The sensation was indescribable, and he let out a throaty groan.

The hunger had him. The hunger, and the promise of punishment. Your body was soft and sweet like the dough in front of you two and had him going, that was undeniable, but the threat was what was really driving him forward. He needed to feel everything he could. He took hold of his cock, stroking it slowly against your ass cheeks, feeling the precum as it leaked into his hands.

Kit's free hand wrapped around your hips again, urging them backwards into his own. You whimpered, letting him take full control. Your fingers were still embedded in the dough, squeezing through the spaces between your digits.

With a deep sound, Kit slipped himself inside you. Your walls squeezed around him as he plunged himself as deep as he could, humping you hard. His thrusts were determined, but steady and slow. Just like he'd said...

You reached around to take hold of his soft brown hair, making a fist in the locks. He didn't care that your fingers were covered in flour, and it was falling into the collar of his shirt. He didn't care about anything except what he was feeling.

Touch-starved, it didn't take him long to climax. Kit emptied his load inside you, pumping it deep. You whimpered, rolling your lips inward to soften the moans. You were close behind him, and when he whispered in your ear, begging you to do it, you did.

Kit heard the heavy bootsteps before you did. But he didn't move. He was ready.

"Hey! What in the hell do you think you're doin'!?" The orderly bellowed, and Kit yanked his softening cock from you. Your legs twitched together as it left you, the slippery feeling sending another wave of pleasure through you.

Phase two of his plan was in action. Kit stepped in front of you, fists raised in front of his face. He pumped, and threw the first punch, making contact with the guy's cheekbone. He reeled back, touching his skin to see if he'd broken skin -- he hadn't. But he was going to pay for that.

Fortunately for Kit and his now-sick need, he hit him back, harder, splitting his lip immediately. You spun around, pressing your back against the table, covering your mouth in horror as the two men fought.

The man threw a hard left hook and Kit went down, falling to the cold cement floor with a thud. You could do nothing but scream, begging for him to stop. Through winces, Kit looked up at you and shook his head. To you, he was being noble. To him, he was revelling in the pain he was feeling and wanted nothing to interrupt it.

"Assaulting an orderly, Mr. Walker?"

"Yes, Sistah'. He looked at me sideways."

"He interrupted your fornication, is what he did." She sternly remarked. Kit swallowed, looking down at his feet. The punishment was coming - he wouldn't have been called into her office otherwise.

"Seems like he got the better of you." She gestured to him pointedly. He had, that was true. Kit had gotten a few good punches in, but the orderly was bigger and brawnier, and had walloped him as soon as he'd gotten the chance. The cut on his lip stung every time he spoke, and his ribs were definitely bruised from the steel-toed berrage that he'd endured earlier.

"Over my desk," she rasped. Kit was almost excited -- a disgusting, disappointing feeling that he knew, deep down, he shouldn't be feeling. But a feeling was a feeling and he had to ride it out, in whatever way he could.

"Sistah' Jude," he interjected, as he bent over the modest wooden desk. "I'm sahrry' for what I did but don't punish her. She didn't do anything. It was all me."

"Mr. Walker," she replied. "I'll do exactly as I see fit."

The first hit stung. She was using the wooden switch, and it sliced through the air with an audible thwip. It burned against his skin, sweltering hot heat coursing over his cheeks and the back of his thighs. Tears bit at the corner of his eyes, it felt so terrible. That was just it -- it felt so terrible. He hadn't felt this much in weeks.

She hit him again, just above the spot where she'd previously hit. Kit winced again, clenching his fists hard atop her desk. Another one, and the tears streamed down his cheeks. He inhaled through clenched teeth and exhaled hard through his nose with each hit. Sister Jude's kind streak had ended, and she was unrelenting.

Twelve hits later, she finally stopped. Kit was sent back to his room, welted and bruised all over, but hell... at least he felt something.

#Kit Walker #Kit Walker x reader #Kit Walker x you #kit walker x y/n #ahs asylum #myfics #AHS smut #AHS fanfiction #Evan Peters #fanfiction #kit walker fanfiction

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teaboot · 3 months

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Since I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be, I have been trying to send to more asks to engage more. I really don't want to bother anyone though so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Detailed? Vague? Work? Fandom? Movies? Books? Childhood? Gardening? Thoughts? OTPs? OCs? I'm sure there are way more categories, I'm not limiting you to these listed options. Perhaps if it's an easier question what types of asks do you not like?

pPAAASGGFYGGJIK THANK YOU?

Detailed asks good yes

Vague asks??? Do not understand but open to the concept

Fandom: My first Fandom was X-Men, then Lord of the Rings, then Homestuck, Transformers, Fullmetal Alchemist, Teen Wolf, Avengers (first movie, when it came out), Batman, Overwatch briefly, Mass Effect, Gravity Falls, Trigun, and now my sister's getting me into Call of Duty! Feel free to ask about any!!

Movies: Yes movies are a great topic I have SO MANY

Oh lord I haven't consistently been up to date on books in FOREVER but yes books are good, you can ask book questions, I'm reading a lot of old classics and recently finished Pride & Prejudice, am now on The One That Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Childhood- oh my god bud you have no idea

Gardening- My house is full of plastic plants on account of how good I am at killing things

Thoughts- Always

OTPs YO YES

OCs? YO YEAH GO FOR IT I NEVER TALK ABOUT THEM aaaaah I need to start writing again- I've been working on an urban fantasy for like. God like 7-8 years now

If I don't like an ask I'll just ignore or delete it but not much is off the table. I will not answer where exactly I live, who I am, if I'm a specific person you met, etc. for safety reasons.

I've worked in sex education so I can answer questions on that topic but if you get too personal or abrasive I will not respond.

I'm regularly flooded with donation requests and it's often too hard to figure out which are real and which are scams using stolen legit posts so as a general rule I do not spread those, I'm sorry.

And if you pop in to sexually harass me or use abusive language towards myself or others then I'm just gonna block you and delete the message.

If you want to warn me that a post I shared came from a bad source I do appreciate that, but if I do my research and can't find a legitimate reason to block someone then I probably won't.

I consider Legitimate Reasons to block someone on recommendation to be abusive language and behaviour, threats, bigotry, propagation of misinformation, production of AI content, and encouragement of dangerous behaviors that pose genuine harm to self or others. I'm not gonna block a random cause they enjoy Steven Universe and you think it's annoying. We all like stuff.

Womp-womp.

Thanks for asking!!! I probably shoulda talked about some of this myself, lol

EDIT: Terfs and radfems are block on sight, it's not your fault you're dumb but I am not capable of educating all of you

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sweaterkittensahoy · 3 months

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I found your post about inbox empty and no camp requests literally five minutes after opening the tumblr post episode 8. Were you summoned? Was I? Who cares.

I haven’t had the time to properly comment on your 2buck sexy prompt fill but please do know I will BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN LIVING RENT FREE IN MY HEAD. So fucking well written (pace, words, characterizations, aaaaah). I ramble, sorry.

Back to the point at hand, PROMPT(s) for my two favorite idiots (Buck/Bucky):

- post war bliss, let’s heal the boys a bit and give them their happiness

- set whenever, possessive Gale (boy is 100% unhinged, called it day 1 when Greenland tower control told him to circle back and he just floored it like a goddamn pro)

- magpie behavior John, he just collects stuff for Gale and brings it to him, it’s a character trait (bikes, shit needed to make a crystal radio, boy just does)

- observer Gale, he just loves the physicality John moves in when he’s in Major mode and when he gets the rare chance to look without being seen or having to worry what is seen on his face he just looks and lets himself feel it

- talismans, I love the idea of both of them having something that means ‘I am of my beloved and my beloved is of mine’

- literally whatever other sexy scenario you can concoct, your whiskey one has rewired a couple of circuits in my brain

- soulmarks, on the basis that I’m a sucker for them

Bonus for good ole Benny De Marco as Gale’s keeper when John isn’t around while at the same time John’s handler when Gale’s not there (ngl this is because of the way Buck yells De Marco’s name in the pilot, my boys are MATES™️).

I am afraid I single-handedly murdered your inbox, please forgive me.

Thank you in advance and cheers ✨❤️

(These are all amazing, and I would like to encourage anyone who is reading this and gets an idea from one of these to write you one of the ones I don't [or write the one I did but as your own thing!])

In the barracks, each bed comes with a side table. It has a drawer and a lamp. Most of the boys keep a photo of a loved one on the top, a skin mag in the drawer, and whatever they carry in their pockets each day next to the photo.

Buck's is different because he keeps whatever he carries in his pockets in the drawer, and on the table itself is a collection of random objects that look like he's collecting odds and ends with no real sense. Amongst the clutter are the following things:

A skeleton key with a filigree 'G' carved into the head.

A rock that shines when the sunlight hits it during the day.

A broken bracelet made of blue stones.

A tiny piece of foil shaped into an oak leaf cluster.

The first time a replacement asks about it--because Major Cleven doesn't seem the type to collect odds and ends--Demarco barks a laugh and buys the replacement a drink.

"It's not Cleven's collection. Well, it is. But it's not."

The replacement stares at Demarco. "Uh-huh. Clear as mud."

Demarco sighs. "They're all his, but he didn't pick them, okay?"

"That's no clearer."

Demarco shrugs. "You'll figure it out."

A week later, the replacement is reading in his bunk when Major Egan walks in, giggly and flushed from drinking. He drops hard onto Major Cleven's bed. Major Cleven is--or was--sleeping, but he wakes up and huffs a laugh and says as calm and even as he seems to do everything. "What are you up to?"

Major Egan holds out a hand. "Look what I found!"

Major Cleven squints at Major Egan's hand. "It's a penny."

"No, look closer," Major Egan says. He picks up the penny with his other hand and holds it very close to Major Cleven's eyes. "Look."

Major Cleven grabs Major Egan's wrist and pulls it back a few inches. He squints at the penny, then reaches over and flicks on his lamp. He squints at the penny again. "It's still a penny, John."

"No, it's your birth year," Major Egan says. "See?" He points. "And I found it heads up! It's double good luck for you."

The replacement suddenly realizes neither of them have clocked that he's there. He coughs politely, and suddenly, both Majors are looking at him.

"Is this your first time experiencing Major Egan in his magpie form?" Major Cleven asks.

"Uh," the replacement says.

"He acts like it's silly, but he keeps all of them," Major Egan says, gesturing to Major Cleven.

The replacement expects Major Cleven to scoff or shove Major Egan off his bed. Instead, he smiles and holds out his hand.

"I don't act like it's silly," Major Cleven says and looks at his table for a long moment before setting down very precisely. "I just can't follow your booze-soaked reasoning when you wake me up in the middle of the night."

Major Egan flops sideways so he's taking over half of Major Cleven's bed. "It's only ten, you old man."

Major Cleven stares at Major Egan. "We have an audience, John."

"Eh," Major Egan says and rolls over, stealing Major Cleven's pillow.

"Hey, give that back!" Major Cleven says, yanking the pillow, but Major Egan isn't giving it up.

The replacement doesn't know what to do, so he goes back to his book. The next night at the officer's club, he buys Demarco a drink.

"What was it this time?" Demarco asks.

"A penny from his birth year that he found face up."

Demarco bursts into laughter. "Oh, that's a whole new level of lovesick."

"Are they together?"

"Joined at the hip and a few other parts," Demarco says, then downs his drink. He slaps the replacement on the back. "Come on. I'll let you tell Brady what the latest one is. He'll love it."

#masters of the air #outsider pov #not sure how that happened #buck/buck #goose #bucksquared #fic prompt #magpie egan

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alicedash2 · 1 year

Text

YN with post trauma stress

Yn and Whitebeard's crew

Warning: Death mentions and post trauma stress

°•°•°•°•°•°

Whitebeard's ship and its crew anchored on an island, a large, beautiful and extravagant island, where it had been 3 days since a certain 13-year-old girl was crowned as a princess, the girl didn't know very well what it was like to be a princess for more the teachings she had received, she did not care much, The princess, who was called YN, was a recluse, introverted and intelligent girl for her age, but she was kind and sweet, Whitebeard ended up being invited to the palace along with their crew, they had fun, but they didn't get to know the new princess very well, but something was behind it, a community against the palace had attacked the entire island, burning, attacking and kidnapping civilians, breaking and robbing stores, with the objective of dominating the government , as much as Whitebeard and his crew were protecting the civilians, the King and Queen were killed, as well as a part of the palace was attacked, YN, who was also attacked and seriously injured, ended up watching the entire island being devastated, causing post-traumatic stress in the future, she tried to fight together, but little of her was done, it was a fight that lasted for days, the Navy was summoned, which lasted more days of battle between the Marines and Whitebeard, for Whitebeard to emerge victorious

After the battle, they thought the princess had been killed, Whitebeard, feeling devastated, ends up gathering his crew, until, when they were about to leave, Whitebeard hears footsteps behind, slow steps and a heavy, panting breath, he turns around and just sees a woman, all hurt holding YN's hand

- Take her, she has nothing else here, and I won't last long...- Said the woman

Whitebeard looks at her, and then looks at YN, who was in shock, who contained a blank look.

-Please...- The woman begged.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°

-Are you awake, YN?- Whitebeard asked, YN does not answer

-Are you hungry?- he asked again, hoping for an answer.

- I lost everything... - YN said, starting to shake and shedding tears.

- I... I lost everything! everything!- YN cried more

- they weren't bad, the island had good conditions for everyone, there were no problems on the island! I don't understand, I just know that I lost everything! - YN cried more

- YN...- Whitebeard called her

- hm?- YN looked at him

- no matter how hard it is, you'll have to keep going...- Whitebeard said calmly

- you are not alone, you have friends and brothers here...- Whitebeard smiled sweetly

- brothers?- YN asked, Whitebeard nods his head

-Can you get up?-Whitebeard asked

-I think so- YN said, YN puts her feet that were bandaged, her body was bandaged all over her body, as she had been burned and injured on the island, Whitebeard takes her to the deck

- oh, YN, I'm glad you're good-yoi! - young Marco said

The rest of the crew greeted her with smiles and laughter.

- you will still be a princess, YN...- Whitebeard said

- the princess of the crew! Be kind to them! - Whitebeard said between loud laughs

°•°•°•°•°•

YN hardly got used to it, but it took a long time to start having fun and playing with them, YN was treated like a princess, being much admired and loved by the crew, who also admired and loved them equally

She liked to play and have fun, but she was also very crybaby, the trauma made her suddenly cry, sometimes, during the games, she would start crying out of nowhere, either for some moment that made her remember that day that the island caught fire , causing the crew to apologize for thinking they had hurt or upset her, or just a trigger that made her cry

-ah..- YN stop

-whats wrong?- Vista ask

-aah...Aaaaah..WAA- YN starts to cry

- oh, what's wrong? sorry, YN, I'm sorry! What's wrong? What i did?!- Vista asked the crying girl who suddenly started crying, the crew started to ask what Vista had done

-i don't know! she suddenly started crying! I did nothing...- Vista says

- what's wrong, YN?- Whitebeard asks

-they...- YN replied while crying

-they...?- WhiteBeard asks

- they are here! I saw them! they are here!- YN scream

-stay calm, YN!- Marco tried to calm YN

°°•°•

YN, woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night, scared, decided to go out, the rain made YN feel more scared, so she accelerated her pace to Whitebeard's room, who was sleeping, YN, with her blanket and pillow, opens the door. door, YN was crying and scared, she tries to lay down on Whitebeard's bed, but it was a little hard, YN manages to get some space, and tries to fall asleep

- What happened?- Whitebeard asked sleepily, making YN get scared and cry even more

- calm down, YN- Whitebeard said

- they came after me, so I thought they wouldn't come if I stayed close to you!- YN wiped her tears

- they won't come again - Whitebeard said

-so why do they keep coming?-YN asked, her face was pale and sweaty, YN was trembling

- I see them on the ship too, they are everywhere! - YN said

- once they were in the room, but I couldn't move! So I couldn't scream or ask for help - YN was crying even more

- .... I'll take you to Marco, come with me - Whitebeard looks at the window, it was almost dawn, some should already be awake, Whitebeard gets up and goes in search of Marco

- post traumatic stress, that's all I can think of - Marco said

- we'll have to take her to someone specialized - Marco said

- I can try to help her, but I don't know if it will be effective, I'm a doctor, not a therapist or psychologist - Marco said getting up

- she's still too young to understand what's going on, she thinks they're hiding on the ship- Whitebeard said

- on the next island, let's look for some help for her, in the meantime, let's try to do something - As Marco spoke, a scream echoes through the ship, YN was terrified in her room

- they are here! I saw them! - YN said terrified

- YN- Marco approached

- they are here! I know! I saw! - YN said pointing to the wardrobe

- they don't exist, don't worry, it's your head playing pranks - Marco would say, stroking the youngest's head

-don't worry, they're not going to attack you, every time they appeared they attacked you?- Marco asked.

- no, they just ran after me but didn't hurt me - YN said

- it saw? They are not capable why are we here, and why are you here, I will give you a mission- Marco asked

- which one?- YN asked

- when they appear, no matter how difficult it is, close your eyes and call us, or just close your eyes, they will soon disappear, on the next island, let's get a "weapon" that will drive them away at once, you can do it Is that it?" Marco said with a big smile.

- I don't know, they scare me so much!- YN was crying again

- you have to try until we reach the next island, and we'll be here, you can try, you have to be strong! - Whitebeard said

YN stops crying and looks at them, she nods in agreement

°|°•°•=

While they didn't arrive on an island, YN did what she was told, and however difficult, she managed to ignore it, sometimes not, sometimes she ran in fear, sometimes not, but with everyone helping her

- See how strong it is? - Whitebeard said in a smile

- I'm strong!- YN hugged the captain's face

- I'm strong, very strong! - YN said in smiles, Marco and the others looked proud, when they arrive at the next island, they seek help, they receive the proper advice and medicine, so YN is overcoming more and more, still being a princess, a strong warrior and princess

#whitebeard pirates x reader #one piece x reader #one piece #whitebeard crew #whitebeard one piece #op whitebeard #whitebeard pirates

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babacontainsmultitudes · 6 months

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I'M JUST THINKING ABOUT YOUR LINK POST

"At least you feel something"

AT LEAST YOU FEEL SOMETHING, AAAAAAH

Ugh dude head in my hands like. I almost need to relisten to this episode just to take all the Lincoln bits in properly. Matt's done such a good job at slowly making him less and less emotive and more and more closed off- and he really took the fucking LEGO bit and ran with it to serve a greater purpose (case in point with that quote!). I just need Grant and/or Marco to give that boy a hug aaaaah. Loved how straight he was with Norm in that convo near the end too, but I'd def need to give it a relisten before saying anything more specific on the matter.

(I'm so sorry but if you'll excuse me taking this as an opportunity to vent a bit-)

😅🙃 Also trying to avoid paying too much attention to some of the questionable takes I'm already seeing on him lol. Especially regarding the teen fact (which for the record I liked) aha like. y'all we already knew that Lincoln was a jealous kid when it came to his dads' affection- it's almost as though his dads created an environment in which they were his only source of attention (and really just. his whole world) so he wound up being very possessive over them. He isn't like. Evil cause of one bad thing he did as a child (and at least we know from Matt that this is "the worst thing he's ever done")- nor do I think it tracks to say that this somehow speaks to the kind of person he is in general. Rather, he absolutely is still very possessive of his dads (decreasingly so over the course of the season but still), but he's not like- the jealous type outside of that? I certainly don't think so anyways, not from what we've seen this season, and certainly not relative to some of the other PCs actually. I'm also seeing his current state be used to vilify him, which doesn't surprise me cause the fandom has villainized his dissociative episodes on many other occasions, but it still irks me lol.

I was happy that Scary was at least trying to look out for him regarding the LEGO stuff! But. Gah. It's like someone needs to break through to him but they've waited way too long for that be possible through a simple, "you wanna talk about it?"- y'know? Really looking forward to seeing how this develops. Ah! And regarding some of the comments you left on another post of mine- I totally agree that Lincoln's real arc (specifically in relation to his dad) is anything but over and dealt with! Again, really looking forward to (but also terrified of) what's to come!

#thanks for the ask!#dndads #dndads spoilers #dungeons and daddies #dndads s2 ep 48 #lincoln li wilson #always very flattered by any variation of ''thinking about your post ___'' haha #asks

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skibasyndrome · 1 day

Text

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thank you so much @darktwistedgenderplural, @wilmonsfolklore, @iwouldnevergetintofanfic & @earlgrey-lateatnight for tagging me in this!!!! This is so much fun!!! 💜💜💜💜💜

How many works do you have on Ao3?

17! (but only 12 of those "count", the other 5 are 6+ years old)

What's your total Ao3 word count?

107,628

What fandoms do you write for?

Young Royals

Top five fics by kudos

You crave the Applause / Yet hate the Attention

Lavender Haze

It's in the water, baby

Never Letting You Go

Close, Closer

Do you respond to comments?

Yessssss, I really want to reply to every comment I get because I appreciate people taking their time to write them a lot, but sadly I've been super busy this semester and so there are quite a few still waiting to be responded to. But!!! I've seen them, I have and continue to feel over the moon about them and some day you'll all get your replies!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

If we're only talking about the current fandom... none? I don't think I've ever given anything an angst ending. I don't even know if I'd be able to do that with Wilmon

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

By that logic, all the rest lmao. I think the ending that made me personally most giddy/happy for my blorbos was probably Lavender Haze because the potential, the big feelings that don't have a name yet, the I-really-wanna-see-you-again of it all? Yeah that one feels the happiest.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually, no. Although I had one salty anon who apparently thinks writing about characters being attracted to each other qualifies as fetishizing the actors? Lot to unpack there.

Do you write smut?

Yepppp

Craziest crossover:

I don't think I've ever written anything that could be considered a crossover

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah, in the early days of me writing fics people would go around and just... copy a whole fic and post it to their blog instead?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I get comments asking me if people can translate my fics, but I haven't seen a translation thus far, no.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! Would love to try it some time though

All time favourite ship?

Wilmon all the waaaaayyy

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ugh the list is so long. One thing that I'd LOVE to write but I'm just not sure I've got it in me worldbuilding-wise is a fic where wilmon are ancient greek heroes to be

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told that "filth with feelings" is one of my strengths. Oh and some of my favorite compliments have been ones that said I was good at really getting into a character's (let's be real, it's Wille's) psyche

What are your writing weaknesses?

How long do you have lmao? Idk where to start, hmm. I think I just always question myself and every choice a little too much in general, I have a very weird mix of perfectionism and impatience going on, I start too many new things before old ones are finished, my English isn't as good as it could be, I don't know when to stop rambling...

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I really don't see why you wouldn't use it. I think it's a nice little touch, at least I like it a lot on YR fanfic. It needs to make sense of course, but why not have a casual little "nej" somewhere, I think that's fun!

First fandom you wrote in?

One Direction, in ye olden days (2012) lol

Favourite fic you've written?

Oh this is difficuuuuult, aaaaah. But tbh I like Lavender Haze and the sequel All this shit is new to me a lot. Those are my sweet, sweet babies, because, I think I've said this before, this is my first multichaptered Wilmon fic that isn't "just" pwalp (=porn with a little plot) and I feel like I get to try myself out a lot with All this shit. I like the process of writing it and as for Lavender Haze, there are just some tiny elements in there that I feel immensely proud of.

I'm gonna (very much no pressure) tag @grapehyasynth, @oneofthosebells, @toffeelemon, @goldenwilmon & @piebingo and anyone else who sees this and hasn't been tagged yet (and if I'm double-tagging, apologies!) 💜

#simon.out.#tag thingy #wilmon #young royals #tales from the google docs

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jell0buss-37 · 2 years

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Charmer (Dylan Lenivy x reader) Part 6

It's here! And right before a big part too. I will be posting the next part shortly after this as well, but I wrote this chapter as a warm up for what was about to come for you guys.

TW: angst, a tad sad, but some funny Canon situations! :)))

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

You grit your teeth, and grip Dylan's hand with great anticipation, as well as his shirt. You feel the cold on your exposed back from the room around you. "Okay, it's not that deep, so this should be very quick and easy."

Ryan's words do little to reassure you, but nonetheless you nod, squeezing your eyes shut. You feel the tweezers grip the base of it.

"AAAaah? Huh? It's over???" You turn to look at the others when they plop the arrowhead in front of you mid scream.

"Yeah, that's it." Kaitlyn answers you. "Huh. Feels like I just got a splinter out, to be honest." It really did. It felt nicer, less painful. "Yeah, and the stab was like a centimeter upwards in your skin, so really you'll just need a gauze and some bandage." She tells you, smiling in relief. You release a breath that you've been holding, Dylan giving your hand a reassuring squeeze.

After you get patched up, you take a couple pain killers from Abi's little backpack. It still hurts a bit to put a lot of weight on your hip, but if anything it was more of a dull pain now. Thankfully that was the worst that you sustained from the attack.

"Okay, so Ryan and I were thinking about heading to the radio shack to tray and get a signal and contact someone out there. We tried the phones here and we just got cut off, which is already super sketchy, but whatever works, works." Dylan announces to the group once he and Ryan return from Mr. H's office.

Something about the situation doesn't sit right with you, you can't really seem to shake the feeling. "Uhm, I don't know if that's a really good idea… W-what if that THING is there..?" You voiced your concerns.

"We found a gun in Mr. H's office, so that way you can keep this one while we go." Dylan reassures you. It still doesn't feel right… "Okay. I'm coming with you guys then." You stand fully, grabbing your bow. "What? NO- no no, you can't. You're already hurt-" "Not badly, thank god." You interrupt Dylan.

"Yeah, but what if you get hurt again? You can't-" "That's the thing, I actually survived an attack. I only got poked a bit, but I'm not as fucked up as Nick." You stand your ground.

"I just want you to be safe, (Y/n)." He raised his voice. You raise yours back, "And I want you to be safe. I have a really bad feeling about this, Dyl. And you KNOW I'm never wrong when it's like this." You and him have eyes locked on eachother.

The air is the tensest it's ever been, especially between you two. This is the first fight you've ever had, and you'll be damned to lose. Everyone around you looks to eachother awkwardly.

"(Y/n) has a point… you both are the only ones who have any experience with all the tech in the Radio Hut too. And plus (Y/n) might have more knowledge on how to fight that, uh, bear thing if it is there." Ryan speaks up after a moment.

Dylan shoots him a look, almost betrayed, but he does waiver from the reasonable argument. "I shot it in the eye. It should still have the arrow in it, or at the least should be missing an eye by now. It's already weak." You soften your voice.

He looks at you finally, after a moment, he sighs out and nods. "I-I… I trust you. Fuck, if you say something bad's gonna happen, hell, how much worse can it get, really?" He lets out a dryish laugh.

You walk over to him. "Hey… we pinky promised, remember?" You smile lightly. He smiles back, reassured. "Okay, let's get going then. Kaitlyn, you'll stay with Nick and Abi, keep them safe." Ryan tells Kaitlyn, who nods confidently.

And with that, you were off. For a while, the three of you were silent, still a bit tense. From both the now dangerous woods, and the fight from earlier.

"Guys…" you begin, a horrible thought creeping in, "What if… what if it is a-a werewolf?" They both look at you, surprised, but not at the thought. More at the fact that you'd be the first to bring it up.

"Well. Then I'd say that Nick is totally fucked now." Dylan says simply, obviously joking. You smile up at him, happy to have the semi carefree Dylan back, if not for a moment. Ryan smiles at the two of you from the back. He missed the comfortable atmosphere that you both brought.

"So, you guys have any plans after this night is over?" He asks the two of you. You both look back, smiling at the question.

"Well, Dyl and I are actually going to be going to colleges in the same area. The original plan was going to be helping eachother out with moving and whatnot, but I don't know now after tonight…" You laugh bashfully, referring to the confessions from earlier, and not the probably-a-werewolf in the woods now.

Dylan smiles down at you. "Cool. What are you guys gonna Major in?" Ryan asks. "Oh! Well, I'm gonna be going for (Major of choice)." You answer. "Yeah, and I'm gonna Major in quantum physics." Ryan waits for him to say he's just kidding, but his eyes widen when he realizes he's serious.

"Wow… like, actually?" He asks Dylan. You laugh, Dylan rolling his eyes playfully. "See, that's exactly how (nickname) reacted." He groans jokingly. "Ugh, yes. I'm actually quite different than you'd think, Ryan." You nod in affirmation.

Dylan had the habit of changing how he acted around the others, but you gradually got him to become more comfortable around you. You had found out so many things that you never would have guessed about him.

And one of those things is that he's actually really fucking smart. He also has a really good memory whenever he's sure of himself. It's incredibly admirable. You also learned that he has actually been a camper at Hackett's Quarry for years, and had fixed up the Radio Hut himself.

These things that you found out made you realize how comfortable he truly became with you, and it made you truly like him even more.

Ryan hums to himself, taking note of that fact.

You guys finally arrived, deciding to look around the area for anything that might be important. You find an old looking tarot card, one with a queen on the face, simply titled, 'Queen of Swords'. You shrug, tugging it into your back pocket. Something about it feels incredibly important to you.

You walk over to the boys, nodding to walk into the hut. Dylan steps in first, a proud smile bright on his face. You walk in to the familiar space, having spent a majority of your time in the place.

"Huh, this place sure is a dump." Ryan mumbles out. Dylan's smile drops instantly, whipping his head to Ryan so quickly.

"Okay, well, ever since I was a camper here, it was never really used, and I spent literal years cleaning this place up. Sooo…" He raises his hands defensively, obviously hurt from the comment.

"He's really proud of the place, man." You tell Ryan. "Yeah! So sorry it's not up to your standards-BUT. I've been putting in a lot of TLC." "Okay, Okay. Sorry…" Ryan apologizes, looking around, noticing the power tools. You walk over to stand beside Dylan, searching around for things you may need.

"So, are these power tools used for anything special? Or…" Ryan questions. "Uhhhhh… no." "Mr H. said it was the only way he'd let him keep the station going…" you smile a bit sadly at Ryan, patting Dylan's back.

Ryan nods, looking around again. You walk over to the other side of the shack, looking around while Dylan explains to Ryan how you guys can use the radio.

You see a picture of you taped to the wall, as well as other various photos of the other Counselors. Dylan must've used the shack as a personal getaway often.

You smile warmly, finding his sentiment adorable. You walk back over to the guys, hearing Dylan speak awkwardly into the radio.

"Hello! How's it goin out there, uh, this is, uh-we need help." You and Ryan exchange an awkward look. "We are counselors at uh, Hackett's Quarry summer camp, and uh, there's been a horrible accident, a-an attack Stuffs bad… HERE. UH-we need your help. There's been a SWARM-OF bears. A-and they're EVERYWHERE and there's these hunters, too, uh, and they're shooting at the bears but also at US, which is not good, and some of our friends are hurt, and uhm-we are in desperate need of help so please uh, send some. There's vicious… BEARS-and we don't know what to do, so please uh, come help us, uh- SOS, this is uh, an emergency, S- save our ship. Ssoo come on doowwn… uh- please help us."

And with that, he turns off the mic. He looks to you guys. "So uh, how'd I do? Was that like, good or like..?" He asks you. "Swarm of Bears?" You ask. "Yeah." He looks confused. "HERD of Bears." Ryan tells him. "Uh, yeah, I've heard of Bears..?" Dylan answers only further confused. "Oh my god-" Ryan says, frustrated now.

"Well, okay. Let's switch over to the receiver side." You switch over, sitting next to Dylan. "Okay, well I'm gonna go keep an eye out." Ryan walks away from you two, standing by the window, peering out.

Dylan is fidgeting with his hands, bouncing his leg up in down. His anxiety getting to him. You grab his hand in yours, rubbing his knuckles with your thumb reassuringly. He looks at you, and calms down a bit more. You give him a small smile, and he lets out a breath, smiling a bit less shaky now.

Suddenly, a couple voices come over the radio. It's hard to hear, two guys talking about what seems to be the the probably-a-bunch-of werewolves.

Then they say something that chills you to the core.

Tarot card: The Queen of Swords

Meaning: She uses her intellectual power to cut through the noise and determine the best path ahead. She asks you to use your head and not your heart in your decision-making, and to commit to the choice that you make.

#the quarry #the quarry x reader #dylan the quarry #fanfiction #dylan lenivy #dylan lenivy x reader #dylan x reader #the quarry dylan #fanfic

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deliciouswastelandgoddess · 2 years

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A Delicate Villainy - Bible's Vegas

A case study of acting techniques

Also read:

Mile's Kinn

Apo's Porsche

Build's Pete

For me amongst all the main actors, Bible has the weakest acting skills. There are moments here and there where he either overacts or under performs - it's not a big deal really, every new actor has a learning curve, plus Bible is apparently really young [all my knowledge about him comes from what people post here because I usually don't care about celebrities and their personal lives, only their performances] Also you'd be surprised by how much of an actor's "performance" depends on the final editing and which shots were chosen for the final copy of an episode/film, so yeah, the definition of "good acting skills" is a mix of both objective and subjective perspectives. So according to me, Bible's inexperience is really evident sometimes, especially compared to the entirely effortless delivery of the rest of his co-actors.

Having said that, there are also moments when Bible's Vegas just.... blows me away.

First up is his physicality - I really like the way he holds his body. Bible isn't the tallest or largest man around and he doesn't try to be, so the first thing you actually notice is his face, which again, is a remarkably fierce face - a resting villain face, if you will - it's very ethereal in it's quality. That combined with Bible's extremely soft voice gives Vegas a sweet edge. Bible's Vegas is feline in his grace, a leopard or a lynx - compare that to Mile's Kinn who is also graceful but like a lioness, very hefty in his presence lacking Vegas' delicacy.

Bible's biggest strength is in appearing very soft and very sharp simultaneously. The next two gifs are from the same episode and the same scene with but look how gentle he looks in one and how cunning in the other. His softness is even more evident when his hair is fluffy rather than gelled as it is here. (Pool scene with Porsche)

He is also very good at using his entire body to act. This scene below is one of my favorites - he looks so broken down and in need of a hug, I was ready to forgive all his crimes in this moment, literally had adoption papers ready and everything.

And yet again, it's hard to believe that the human mess above is the same guy as this asshole 👇 he nailed this one frame, could feel the unhinged energy through to my bones, but notice how he still keeps it delicate not giving in to machismo like Kinn or even Porsche do.

Bible is actually very good at doing this sort of regular human to unhinged gremlin transitions and it's always thrilling to see that happens. I am just- this is just such good shit, I am living for this 😩

My absolute favourite scene though is this one- it's actually just another example of Vegas changing his skin in a split second, from polite softness to ruthless murderer.

Another rather unexplored aspect of his acting is the comedy. He really only got to be intentionally funny a couple of times in the entire series but I think he nailed those scenes. Would have loved to see more of that. Take this instance for example - it's so subtle but aaaaah it had me in fits. (Also his outfit here is absolutely bonkers - another post I wrote about Kinnporsche's Wardrobe)

Vegas' scenes in episode 13 have been my favourite so far. Bible has managed to successfully capture the duality of Vegas - he is a victim and a villain at the same time, he is hungry for love and a conduit of hatred at the same time, he needs help but has burned all the bridges where he could have received it (Pete, Porsche, his cousins). He realises his mistakes are too big to be forgiven but he still wants to be forgiven. He is so, so human and Bible just- Bible has played this character with so much sympathy you can't help but feel it yourself a bit.

Last but not the least, this scene - Bible has done such a good job at portraying Vegas' sensuality. It is very different and delicate from Kinn and Porsche's soft machismo and juvenility. Its just another aspect of crafting the perfectly balanced villainy of Vegas and yeah, Bible has indeed been a great casting choice for this role. 10/10 will watch him in any show again.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #bible wichapas #kinnporsche meta #vegaspete

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loulooser · 5 months

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Lou whats your top three twenty one pilots songs and why?

Tried to write this post but I couldn’t boil it down to three, so I’m going to do favourites from each album.

Starting with self titled (or twenty one pilots if you like):

- a car, a torch, a death (everyone should hear this song at least once. It’s a masterpiece)

- Johnny boy (awwww)

- fall away OR addict with a pen (I can’t pick)

Now blurry face:

- lane boy (fucking LIVE for this song. It’s so well written, very fun to sing along to and it’s super nostalgic.)

- message man (oh LORD is this song amazing. Definitely up there.)

- I feel like I’ve gotta say ride but then again fairly local, heavydirtysoul and the judge are staring me down so I don’t know 😭😭

Then from vessel (this one is going to be hard):

- Im putting all the bonus tracks in one because oh GOD are they SO GOOD.

- screen (I love the message and also it’s really fun.)

- AAAAAH I CANT PICK (car radio was my favourite song for a good few years, but then migrane was, and also ode to sleep, semi automatic and guns for hands are just amazing)

Okay moving onto trench (their best album - help me):

- levitate (really fast, refers back to car radio during the first verse, and is just a really good song)

- neon gravestones (I have no words. The message is just so beautiful)

- Legend (HE WROTE IT ABOUT HIS GRANDAD WHEN I THOUGHT IT WAS A CUTE SONG ABOUT HIS WIFE. I CANT HEAR IT THE SAME ANYMORE AND IT MAKES ME CRY.)

Finally, scaled and icy:

- the outside (easily the best song on that album)

- mulberry street (FUCK YEAH)

- formidable (I LOVE IT WHEN HE WRITES SONGS ABOUT HIS WIFE THEYRE ALL ADORABLE)

I didn’t include any of the albums like the mtv unplugged recording, scaled and icy livestream version or the collabs like MM x TØP, but if you want me to rank those I’d be happy to :)

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flowercrowngods · 1 year

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AAAAHHHHHGGG!! part 6 was so beautiful!!! sad in the most beautiful way!! 🥺🥺 I don’t know if you’d gonna post on AO3 but this is a fic I’m definitely coming back to read over and over again!! the rawness of their love and fear is captured so magnificently!!!!!!!

not sure if you plan on writing a part for chrissy and robin (i’m assuming she’s chrissy soul consuming, universal-law written love), i hope they get their happy ending too!!! 🥺🥺💚

gotta say one of my favorite parts was wayne’s moment with steve!!! I’ve seen a lot of fics who just make wayne back eddie up in whatever decision he makes and not really have his own opinion… and the way you wrote that just completely broke my heart about how much wayne cares for steve!!!

aaaaah this whole fic is absolute perfection to me!!! so glad I found your blog and got the chance to experience this story!! 💚🥺🥺

much love to you!!! 💚💚

aaah thank you so much!! i’m glad y’all like part 6, i felt like it needed to be a little sad, a little tragic, even with the happy ending on the horizon, because seven years or ten years or a lifetime of unrequited love and yearning aren’t easily overwritten, and they’re gonna have to learn to get the sadness and wistfulness out of their love. and work on it. and talk. and they kinda know that and it’s all raw and vulnerable. a plain and simple happy ending wouldn’t have been easily believable, i feel. but i also get the need and want for things to be easy and happy so yeah. i really love the way people love this story 🥺🥰

(am rambling again, i could always ramble about these two and the intricacies of their emotions in various fics of mine fhdhdh)

so thank you so much for saying that 🥺🥹🫶🤍

i’m definitely gonna put this on ao3, a few people have asked me to already. but i’m definitely gonna edit this a bit, make it flow better, etc etc — and yeah, potentially either add more buckingham, or write their own story. it’s just that it’s steddie week, and a similar focus on chrissy and robin would have felt misplaced (just like. yknow. writing angsty yearning barely-✨happy✨ ending fic. yknow yknow), but i kinda don’t want them to be left out.

god yes i loved writing the wayne part. that “i figured it would have been you” comment was something that i really wanted to write from the beginning of this :D with the way i constructed steve and eddie’s friendship/relationship in general, there’s no way that wayne 1) wouldn’t know, and 2) would simply take one side. he’d know that eddie moved on because otherwise he’d have been ruined. he’d also have seen the shift in steve at some point and been aware of their predicament/situations without judgment.

good papa wayne all round idk 🫶

anyway THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE 🥺😭🤍 appreciate it and you so much, hugging you so tight! 🌷🤍

#steddie week fic #nice people being nice to me #god i LOVE the way you love this story and trust me with it i will not grow tired of telling you #or rambling about it. hehehe #bitchysunflower

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alexlibbey · 1 year

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shadow & bone season 2 spoilers below!

Ok I just finished season two of shadow & bone and I have so very many thoughts!!

Despite not following the plot of the books and kind of cutting and pasting plot points together, I really loved this season. I view it less as an adaptation of the books and more as an adaptation based on the books. If you take out the pressure of the show supposed to be the same as the books, it’s so much more enjoyable!! I thoroughly enjoy seeing this unique adventure the two stories go through.

I think the proposed six of crows series could just be them going on more adventures and stories from the barrel! Maybe delving more into their backstories and relationships and adventures they went on before landing where we meet them and it would be amazing.

Wesper, despite the altered storyline, are absolutely perfect and I love them so much. I want to put them in my pocket. Their dynamic was nailed and it so lovely to see progress throughout the season!

Kanej (as well as Freddy and Amita) absolutely owned this season. They have the characters and dynamic down to a T. I love them so much and they are my all-time favorites!! I also am honestly quite happy with the ending of this season’s ending with Inej forging her own path in the world doing what she’s passionate about. And not just living under or for other people. I truly believe that they come together again, but they both need and deserve time to grow. Anyway I just love them so much and aaaaah.

I really tried to start loving Mal but I really can’t stand him. He has great moments and is overall a good character but sometimes he just says things that remind me of Gale from The Hunger Games and just get an insane ick.

Genya needs to feel peace and happiness next season and Daisy needs all of the awards like oh my god she was brilliant. Also I love her coronation outfit with the matching eyepatch and dress.

Nikolai my love he is literally golden and amazing and I just love him. Literally a beautiful person and character. Also that man has insane rizz like I’m genuinely impressed.

JURDA PAREM AND THE ICE COURT HEIST NEXT SEASON?? I’M SO EXCITED.

Anyway that’s all apologies for this insanely long post I just have so many thought in my head wooo.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers #shadow and bone season 2 #shadow & bone #shadow & bone spoilers #shadow & bone season 2 #kaz brekker #kanej #inej ghafa #wesper #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #genya safin #nikolai lantsov

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persnickety-peahen · 2 years

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i saw a post talking about how wild the human brain is, and in the comments, someone mentioned aphantasia, which made me feel things and i just have to talk about it so here ya go all seven of my followers and people interested in whatever tags i end up using:

if you don't know what aphantasia is, no shame at all. although it's becoming more widely known and researched, it's still a fairly obscure neurological condition. heck, i only know about it because i read an article on it once about six years ago and realized, hey, i have that!

essentially, aphantasia is the lack of a mind's eye, an inability to voluntarily produce mental images. sometimes it's acquired after a brain injury, but it's predominantly just something folks are born with. estimates about the number of people it affects vary pretty significantly—i've seen everything from 1% or less to as much as 5% of the global population! that's wild! statistically, that means you might probably know someone with aphantasia . . . or maybe you have it yourself but, like me, didn't even know it was a thing until someone told you it was and now you've got a little mini existential crisis on your hands where you realize that the brains of at least 95% of the people you know work in a fundamentally different way from your brain and you're missing out on an experience they all have in common and aaaaah

i don't know anyone else irl who has aphantasia, so when i find someone online who does it's like that moment when a dog sees another dog and recognizes that they're a dog and just goes absolutely crazy. i am consumed by the desire to overshare infodump about all the ways aphantasia has affected my life and then compare notes like, do you also have such a bad autobiographical memory that more than half of your childhood memories are actually reconstructions based on stories other people have told you about your own life? do you also sometimes get unreasonably anxious about being a victim of a crime someday and getting a good look at the perpetrator but not being able to describe them to police later because you can't picture what they look like and even a sketch artist wouldn't help and would probably only make things worse as whatever they draw would slowly replace what little memory you do have? are you one of those aphantasiacs who never got into reading because you couldn't picture things? or are you like me and loved reading anyway, but a) got really bored and pulled out of it when authors spent time describing what something or someone looked like because it didn't do anything for you and b) got really confused when your friends would talk about how they didn't like the movie adaptation of something because it "wasn't how they pictured it when reading" and you didn't know what the hell they meant by that? and then you went on to become a creative writer obsessively concerned with imagery and if you have enough of it to satisfy those people who actually like when things are visually described? do you want to get into drawing but give up in frustration every time you try because of the lack of direction you experience from not having an image in your mind's eye to that you're trying to draw in the first place? do you need visual aids to really understand certain scientific and mathematical concepts? were you frustratingly bad at making and interpreting graphs for school projects and presentations? and now you hope you picked a career path where you won't ever have to do that ever again?

are you also terrible at estimating distance and length and height because words like "foot" or "meter" mean nothing to you, much less bigger measurements like miles and kilometers? do you also need google maps to get anywhere despite living in the same city your whole life because lacking a mind's eye also means you lack the ability to make mental maps? were your inability to navigate and difficulty with measurements something people made fun of you for the same way they made fun of me for it? and now that you know you have aphantasia you can snap back at them and be all, actually the reason i can't navigate or understand measurements is because of a neurological condition so you're basically making fun of me for being disabled, how about that? do you also sometimes get sad and think about how you don't really remember anymore what your loved ones who've passed away look like? or even what your loved ones who aren't currently in the same room as you look like? how you rarely notice if someone got a haircut or new piercing or tattoo or otherwise changed their appearance because you can't visually compare it to how they looked the last time you saw them?

when you try to picture a loved one's face, what happens? me, i run through a list of traits in my head, oftentimes more focused on personal attributes than physical ones because that's what i'm actually capable of remembering consistently. i don't just know what someone's hair or eye color is—i have to memorize it, like a fact for school. mom and dad have blue eyes. my husband has hazel-ish green eyes. my best friend is blonde, but her hair is darker now than it was when we were kids, and she got glasses while we were going to college in different cities, i should know that by now and stop being surprised when i see her wearing glasses. her mom, my second mother, has straight brown hair and a long face, but i can't remember what color her eyes are even though i've known her for twenty years. i think they're blue, but i can't picture it. i don't know for sure, and if i think about it too long it kills me. when i have kids, will i remember their eye colors? or will i have to ask my husband if he knows?

i take a lot of pictures. all the time, of everything—of people, of scenery, of my food, or myself, of pets and cools animals i see strolling around the city. boomers criticize me for not living in the moment, and it makes me feel awful, like i have to choose between experiencing something and remembering it. cause yeah, without the pictures, i would forget. i keep movie stubs and playbills and fair tickets and museum handouts and even fucking hospital bracelets, and i cherish them the same way other people cherish religious items.

it's lonely sometimes, having aphantasia.

the people close to me know about it, so they know how to accommodate me in relation to it, and they're supportive and interested in learning more. but they don't live with it themselves, so even though they know what it is, they don't know what it is, ya know? their knowledge is all second hand. as wonderful as my people are, when i'm really feeling my aphantasia and getting into those sad thought spirals, talking with them about it just isn't the same as it would be to talk with someone else who has aphantasia and has dealt with the same issues and feelings about it

i guess in the end i just want what we all do: community. when i find someone else with aphantasia, i don't wanna be like a dog seeing another dog because i'm so starved for contact with other folks like me; i wanna be like someone recognizing another member of a long distance club i regularly participate in, like hey! same hat! and then go about the rest of my day because i'm satisfied with the community i have. ya know?

anyways yes this is a free invite to message me if you have aphantasia or think you might have it and you wanna compare notes and chat about shared experiences, or alternately if you know someone who has aphantasia or are just curious about it and want to learn more about it :D

#i almost made the ah longer to better convey the sense of existential panic #but long nonsense words like that or strings of emojis can be hell for folks with screen readers #aphantasia #loneliness #the intense desire for community #just neurodivergent things #maybe #cause like yeah obviously aphantasia impairs my ability to do certain things in a way that causes distress #but does that make it a disability?#cause disability feels like way too big and important a word for my experience with aphantasia #like i'm being overdramatic about something that doesn't actually impact me that much #but then again it does significant affect the way i interact with and see the world #and it is literally a neurological condition #can i call myself neurodivergent?#do i have a right to use that identity and claim it as my own?#language is hard #long post

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arashi-no-saxlphone · 2 months

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I'm in like month 4 of knowing about guilty gear and I'm not the most well versed in the story, I pretty much know the bare bones stuff, but when I say your gear posts have been significantly impacting how I think about the characters + themes in the best way possible and have made me excited all over again to experience more of guilty gear I mean it thank you for sharing this is so serious to me I love storytelling

aaaaah thank you that's really nice! I think the story of Guilty Gear is really really good and it's one of those things that you can experience and have it resonate with you so deeply that you feel seen and think "it's all gonna be ok" and that's why I love it very much.

Also worry not - I wouldn't consider myself that well-versed either there is A Lot LOL. I actually hesitate to go back and review Xrd and Strive's story because I KNOW I wouldn't be able to behave; there's always gonna be more to see and dive into because all of these characters are so dense and complicated. Hell, I haven't even REALLY gotten deep into the drama CDs or other side material like the mangas and such - I just know bits and bobs cause of wikidiving (cannot stress enough how good the new Gear wiki is for that it's very well organized and well written).

I'm actually not a very passionate or ambitious person normally - the day I discovered the depth of Guilty Gear's narrative was the first time I ever felt that feeling of getting a fire lit under me and REALLY caring about something like this to this level, so I'm really glad to hear about people reading my little snippets of going crazy about it and getting a little crazy themselves too (you wanna be crazy you wanna go freak out you don't wanna break down, ignite rusty heart, and such). As an English major and someone with a deep affection for the more artsier and less quantifiable fields, I think stories like this and other media that has comments to make about humanity, existence, and connection are SUPER important - they're the parts of us and the world that we have to hold on to no matter what or we won't make it; I think Guilty Gear's story does an exceptional job of touching on things like that in multiple ways.

Thank you for sharing your feelings about this with me, and especially for the comment on storytelling at the end there - I like it very much too and it holds a great amount of value for me as a way of trying to navigate and understand the world when our more scientific and "objective" tools fail to.

Obligatory "Storyteller" joke (this is one of the best songs in the whole series so I'm sticking it at the end here, sorry):

youtube

I'm linking the new wiki again again again too cause I like it very much and if this had been up when I had first gone wikidiving on this series I would probably be at least 10 times more powerful than I am now in terms of Gear Brainrot:

#sairambles #guilty gear #guilty gear xrd #ggst #ask #thank you for this ask this was very sweet #I hope you continue to have a fantastic time with this silly little series #and a pleasant day as well!

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finchy4077 · 2 months

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Oh boy oh boy *rubs my little hands together*

* favorite mash episode: so SO hard but the one that got me the most excited to talk about after watching was Dreams, it gave me such a unique insight to each of the characters and highlighted a lot of nuances in a way that didn't feel like the writers just explaining the insecurities and trauma of every character in a straightforward in your face sort of way. Close second and maybe even better is Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen but that's such a common consensus because of how excellent it is, it was a given

* favorite character: I feel like it changes depending on the episode but my top three are probably Hawkeye, Margaret, and Sidney just based on how much I talk about them. The one I relate the most to is the tragic funny man sadly, I quickly grew attached, you can see how this lead to my immediate downfall

* my favorite headcanon: autistic Radar but I swear that's practically canon so I'll just say it's BJ going to see Hawkeye some time after the war

* favorite ships: used to be a hawktrap truther, then like mid series I started coming around to hunnihawk/beejhawk, and recently I've been warming up to Houlihawk but I'm still rather neutral on it. Frankly most ships in this fandom I can get behind in some way and what I've discovered by joining this fandom is Hawkeye is a whore and everyone knows it

* if I could write an episode hm that's a hard question. I've been told I write everyone's dialogue and mannerisms SPOOKY accurate so I'd absolutely love to write a mash episode. The problem is deciding on a concept lmao probably something silly involving the post season 6 swamp rats + Margaret, Klinger and Mulcahy get the B plot. Potter comes in at the end to defuse any loud disagreements and tell them they're acting like children to which they all respectively refute by shouting "NUH UH" all at once. He throws his hands up, tells them not to kill each other and leaves

Hope that's good enough lol I had fun answering your questions!

aaaaah thank you so much for answering!!!!

- i can’t wait to rewatch dreams for pretty much all the reasons you’ve already listed!!! i’ll have to send you a message when i get around to rewatching it!

- YES THE TRAGIC FUNNY MAN. if we’re going down we’re going down together at the hands of that Machiavellian smirky cowboy bastard <333

- bj!!!! goes to maine!!! so here for it!!! also radar absolutely is that’s canon to me

- HAHAHAHA amen to whorek-eye

- omg have you released any fanfic??? if so and you feel comfortable sharing i would love to read it sometime!

again thank you for answering this was fun!!! <33

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