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anincompletelist · 6 months

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rwrb fic recs! :D

I wanted to take the time to compile a few fics that have massively helped me over the last tough few months and never fail to bring a smile to my face (after the angst, of course)! thank you to everyone who takes the time to write for this lovely fandom, please keep it up! your words are so important and often change lives even when you don't realize it. I hope you're all doing well, and enjoy! <3

(please message me if for any reason you would like to be un-tagged!)

in no particular order:

he looks up grinning like the devil | @coffeecatsme | E | 38k

Henry can’t help it—he lets out a laugh and shakes his head. Beta Sigma Chi being a safe space is about as likely as the Republicans championing queer rights. “Right, and who’s this new president that somehow managed to turn around an entire fraternity?”

Pez winces. She hesitates at first, but then she must decide on something because her chin juts out. “Well,” she says slowly. “It’s Alexander Claremont-Diaz.”

Henry laughs so hard he almost falls off his seat.

Or, Henry Fox learns to fall in love with everything that is Alexander Claremont-Diaz, even if he insists on calling Henry "dude".

A Sporting Chance | @clottedcreamfudge | E | 126k

"Marry Henry - destination wedding. Combine all of our names so paperwork is a fucking nightmare." Henry stares at him and Pez rolls the dice, and-

"Congratulations to Alex and Henry Claremont-Diaz-Fox-Mountchristen," he says with a bright grin, and Alex punches the air and makes a 'whooping' noise. "Your wedding is attended by the Beckhams, the President, and several key members of congress. Henry is very gentle on your wedding night." Henry is going to fucking kill Pez. "Fucking sweet," Alex says, because Henry is apparently the only one here trying not to have a coronary about all of this.

***

It had just been a party game, except now Henry is in way over his head.

a degree of fate | (locked) | lockedinmybody | E | 34k

Against the wishes of the palace, Henry decides to go back to university for a graduate's degree in Literature. And when you want to lay low, what's a better place than Austin University? It's not Henry's fault that Alex Claremont-Diaz is also there. Something must be his fault though, because despite having never met before and Henry only knowing him as the son of the Former President of America, Alex Claremont-Diaz clearly hates him. It's going to be a long two years.

the poem you make of me | @omgcmere | E | 91k

After being discovered on Instagram as a teenager, Alex Diaz is thriving as a social media influencer and model who just landed a high profile, high fashion contract with Calvin Klein. Alex can get any girl he wants, and he’s loving it. Meanwhile, British poet Henry Fox has just arrived in L.A. to kick off a North American tour promoting his new, steamy book of gay erotic poetry, and he’s attracting a lot of attention.

Bad blood is immediately sparked between them when Henry blows Alex off at their first meeting. Several tabloid rumors and an Instagram tantrum later, Alex and Henry are reluctantly thrust together to make nice, resulting in a grudging friendship and a magnetism between them that Alex can't explain. Why is Henry's poetry making Alex feel like this? And just what is it about Henry Fox that gets to him so much?

Mr. BodyPillow | @inexplicablymine | T+ | 21k

Two boys cuddling on a couch right on top of each other because they are in fact very gay™.

Inviting over a complete stranger for cuddles because you are touch starved might be the worst idea Henry has ever had, or the best.

More Amour | surveycorpsjean | E | 45k

Alex discovers something in Henry's closet that changes everything.

we've been here forever (here's the frozen proof) | @onward--upward | T+ | 12k

Objectively, I am aware that you – a stranger – cannot tell me my own sexuality any better than I can, however... Can you, please? Tell me? It’s 4am and I have been thinking about this for hours, and I can’t sleep.

Warmest regards, ACD *** It’s four in the morning, and Alex Claremont-Diaz has managed to follow a research spiral straight down into a personal crisis. It isn’t the first time.

Oblivion | milowren | NR | 31k | please CHECK TAGS & NOTES prior to reading!

What if the moment in the hospital wasn’t a false alarm and the publicity surrounding the forced bromance between Alex and Henry had the adverse effect of them being kidnapped together?

But I love him, whether or no. | @leaves-of-laurelin | E | 77k

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

we might just get away with it | (locked) | smc_27 | E | 21k

Alex is a model. Henry is a journalist, and a bit of an asshole. Alex wants him anyway, even when it doesn’t feel good.

Hashtag Soulmates | @everwitch-magiks | E | 44k

Alex is perfect and handsome, the golden boy, everybody’s secret crush. So there is absolutely no way that he is the reader who screeches in caps lock every time that Henry posts as much as a drabble. There’s no way. Except Alex just closed his browser fast as fucking lightning, but not before Henry had gotten a good glimpse of the page Alex had open: AO3. ‘Don't Stop Me Now’, Henry’s current wip. The one that Henry literally just updated.

Sweet Jesus. Could it really be?

the rubble or our sins | weather_stained | E | 14k

As the Emperor's grandson, Henry despises the gladiator games and resents being forced to attend them — that is, until he sees Alexander fight.

It's a romance doomed from the very beginning, as Henry's family is already pressuring him into joining the army and finding a wife, but he falls hard for Alex nonetheless. Will Henry find a way to be with him, or will he spend the rest of his life looking back on their time together?

that's all for now! I'd like to do this again very soon since there are so many new fics being posted that deserve love as well.

please let me know if there are any issues with the links, if you'd like to be un-tagged, or if you'd like to come and scream about these with me!

another good place for recs is @rwrbficrecs !

if you enjoy any of these (or any fic at all) please know - as someone who writes them as well - every single comment and kudos goes such a long way. it's not necessary, but it's always so much appreciated. <3

thank you for reading, and I hope everyone is having a lovely day/night! :D

-- anincompletelist / sarah

#rwrb fic recs #rwrb fic #red white and royal blue #fic recs #rwrb fanfiction #my fic recs

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piracytheorist · 9 months

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Despite my dedication to being anime-only, there is one difference from manga to anime that I will never forgive from the director/animators/whoever was in charge for this change. In chapter 30, after Nightfall leaves the Forger household and Twilight follows her to give her an umbrella, she shows him her distressed face.

Here, Twilight noticing Nightfall's sudden difference in mood (and the very fact that she was expressing an emotion) and reacting to it is very on par with an important part of his character: his empathy.

Though he's chosen a type of lifestyle that necessitates using violence and deception, Twilight has a deep sense of empathy and compassion. He understands how much suffering he went through because of the war, and he aims to create a world where no child has to go through what he did. He understands other people's pain and he doesn't want people to feel such pain, with no judgment on who "deserves" that or who doesn't. That's unconditional empathy and compassion to their core.

So, seeing Nightfall suddenly go from her usual poker face to an obviously distressed expression shocks him. He's never seen her like this before, so it must be something big that's upsetting her, something that he missed, and something that he instinctively worries about.

And this face of his makes me think that, maybe, if Nightfall had allowed him an opening, he could have attempted to reach out and comfort her (with the appropriate distance and professionalism). It wouldn't have worked, considering the very reason Nightfall was sad, but it's interesting to think about.

And then the anime changed his expression to this.

No shock. No bewilderment. No worry. It wouldn't even be far fetched for someone to interpret this look of his as him thinking "Ugh what a weirdo, what does she want now". For the first time he sees an emotion on her face, and a negative one at that, and he doesn't respond to that at all.

It's a betrayal to Twilight's character. It's a deliberate ignorance of Endo's choice to portray Twilight's empathy in this moment, his instinct to care and worry for others.

And I fear that it was not an intentional misinterpretation, but rather a reluctant compromise for shipping's sake. Because hey, look. This is the episode where the Romantic Rival™ appears, right?? If by the end of the episode Twilight shows one (1) iota of care for her, then it means he doesn't care for Yor and twiyor is over, right???

And on one hand, I understand their decision. Stans of romantic ships can be very paranoid especially when it comes to "love triangle" stuff and some are incapable of grasping the concept of showing the same care to a platonic friend that you'd show to a romantic partner. Though I think the narrative does a great enough job to show that Nightfall has no hope of being a romantic rival in this situation, and that her character is there to show another aspect of Twilight, not to create tension for the ship.

Unfortunately, this decision comes at the expense of Twilight's characterization. In order to pacify stans who only focus on the shipping aspect and not in the story or the characters (and to the anime team's defense, those stans are neither few nor quiet, and not only in SxF), they preferred to cut off a reaction from Twilight that showed how layered of a character he is - because even though he was annoyed with Nightfall for breaking spy protocol and meeting with him in person AND for doubting his methods to his face, he was still worried about her. Because his empathy is so deeply ingrained in him that he naturally shows it even to people who annoy him - to a degree.

I mean, look, I also ship twiyor hardcore, yeah. But I hate this change. I want my man to be empathetic, and if you read the chapter/watch the episode without paranoid shipper goggles on, it's very easy to notice how hopeless Nightfall's ambitions are, and how safe twiyor is from her. So to me that change was unnecessary and damaging to Twilight's character, and I sincerely hope they won't continue such a butchering just to placate the kind of audience that only cares for shipping and not for storytelling.

Oh btw, this is my post, and while I disagree with this choice I still believe the anime is a great adaptation and a very entertaining watch, so comments that drag the anime to the dirt will not be tolerated. Make your own post if you want that and leave me out of it.

#sxf meta

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total-drama-brainrot · 3 months

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Hello hello ophe 👋😇

How are you doing so far?

So yeah I have an another crack idea

Lindsay and Alejandro rivalry

That it’s that’s the ask

Alejandro is over there losing how someone as dumb as Lindsay dear can outsmart his ass

While Lindsay is here doing all that shit by accident and crap

-Ass Stars anon

Hello hello, A.S. Anon! 👋😁

I'm still pretty sick though I'm slowly getting better, but otherwise I'm doing well! How are you?

NOTE: I'm gonna put this under a Read More because I got a bit wordy with my reply. 😅

I like the idea of a one-sided rivalry between Alejandro and Lindsay, where Alejandro is just dumbfounded by how someone so objectively dense can "manipulate the competition" as efficiently as she does.

Meanwhile, Lindsay is just A Nice Person so people actually like her and as are willing to do things for her/do as she asks. There's no hidden meaning to it; Lindsay's just a kind and friendly person (she doesn't have an intentionally mean bone in her body). Alejandro, however, interprets this as her using her looks and 'feminine charm' to 'beguile the competition' or something because Of Course He Does.

So he seethes over how she must be some sort of hidden genius, with how her dumb blonde 'act' always seems to generate results in her favour (it's not an act, and things working out in Lindsay's favour are always just happenstance), and he hates how he's being outplayed in a battle of wits by someone so outwardly ditzy even if he knows it's all a façade (again, it's not, but Alejandro doesn't know that).

And he spends a concerning amount of time scheming between/during challenges, trying to figure out a way to expose Lindsay for the mastermind she is (she's totally not), but she always seems to find some way to dodge his carefully laid out plans- yet more proof that she's outwitting him! (It's all coincidence.)

Lindsay is oblivious to this whole situation, our Unbothered Queen. 💅

It could be a mutual rivalry between the two of them, but for different reasons?

Alejandro still has his "Lindsay is a secret mastermind whom I must outplay for the million" mindset, but Lindsay also just Can't Stand Alejandro because he's (seemingly) effortlessly well put together.

His hair is so healthy and glossy whilst hers is still kind of straw like from all the bleaching, and in all the time they've shared on the Jumbo Jet he's never looked anything less than perfect, even when he'd just woken up? Not even the slightest bit of acne on his naturally tanned (which Lindsay, who goes through a bottle of fake tan a week, is so jealous of), perfectly smooth and even skin? It's so unfair! Every time she's tried asking about his skincare routine he's shrugged her off- which, rude! She's so mad about how he's gatekeeping his beauty tips that is eventually evolves into the two of them beefing for completely different reasons.

Of course, Alejandro sees Lindsay's shared animosity as her acknowledging a fellow Manipulator™ and disliking how he has 'seen through her bluff', meanwhile Lindsay thinks Alejandro is just kind of a jerk who hates her for trying to 'steal his beauty secrets', so any attraction she might've felt for him plummets into nothing because she Doesn't Like Mean Guys (further proof of this is the fact that Tyler is a sweetheart who has done nothing wrong, and she was immediately infatuated with him).

Side note; She also probably doesn't get along with Justin for this same reason, as I can't imagine him humouring Lindsay with all of the restrictions and beauty routines he has to do as a model, which she'd also interpret as him gatekeeping industry secrets from her. (Man's got literal contracts outlining what physical activities he can and can't do in order to preserve his looks. That's wild.)

I like this idea a lot. Any idea that has Alejandro near enough tearing his hair out by being 'outplayed' by someone who presents themselves as a nonthreat/incompetent whilst the person in question really is just Some Average Joe who isn't even trying to ruin all of Alejandro's schemes, has me hooked. He's totally paranoid enough to always assume the worst in people, even when they're totally innocuous.

#got a bit carried away there. oopsies 🤭#total drama #td alejandro #td lindsay #silly ideas #others' ideas #long post #ass stars anon #replies

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the-feminist-filipino-fangirl · 1 year

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Reunited in the Afterlife

Summary: Set in the Kraang Apocalypse timeline. Each of the turtles & April reunite with their family after dying in battle.

Part 3: April

(Part 1: Raph, Part 2: Donnie, Part 4: Mikey and Leo)

April’s eyes flew open. She bolted to her feet, her senses on high alert. “Where am I?” she whispered to herself. She wasn’t in New York anymore. In front of her was a tall, ornate gate glowing a ghostly green. Beyond it was a vast field overflowing with hundreds of people emanating the same color. April looked down at her hand to see that she was now glowing green too.

Her eyes widened. “Oh my gosh,” she muttered. “I’m dead.” She suddenly remembered a bright red beam hitting her in the back before she collapsed onto a heap of rocks. The laser must have come from the leader Kraang.

“Yup, you are,” a cranky voice said. April turned her head to see a short, elderly ghost standing beside the gates. “So many people are dying from the battle down on earth, we’re running out of space. The afterlife can only expand so quickly. We had to install gates to keep the order. Anyway, what’s your name miss?”

“Commander April O’Neil,” she said, standing up a bit straighter. Using her title gave her confidence, something she did not have much of right now.

The old man looked at her with awe and respect on his face. “I know you,” he said. “You and the Ninja Turtles freed my family from that labor camp ten years ago. Thank you.”

April smiled. “It’s the least I could do.” That was what leading the resistance was about. Lives were lost every day, lives of their friends and family, which made every life they saved so precious.

The old man opened the gate and stepped aside. “Welcome to the afterlife, Commander.” April smiled and stepped through the gates.

She had no idea where to go so she just started walking. She could hear the souls of the dead whispering about her as she walked past. It made her a bit uncomfortable. She understood why, she was one of the leaders of the resistance and this was their most devastating battle yet. The fact that she was dead was not a good sign. But hearing everyone whisper about her behind her back brought back not-so-pleasant memories from high school.

“April!” someone shouted. She did a double take. The voice sounded just like Donnie’s. Wait, the voice was Donnie’s. April whipped her head towards the sound just as her best friend burst through a cluster of ghosts, glowing bright purple and looking very alert. Of course, Donnie of all the spirits would find a way to glow purple instead of green. She shouldn’t have expected anything less.

“Donnie?” April said, her voice cracking. Donnie gave her his signature smirk and eyebrow raise while leaning on his Genius Built™ bo staff confirming that yes, it was him. “Salutations, Commander,” he said, his expression warm.

April broke into a grin, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “Donnie!” she cried as she ran straight at him, Donnie’s arms already open for a hug. April crashed into him and latched onto his torso like a koala. She may be 42 and ridiculously buff but she was still much shorter than the turtle. April felt Donnie’s arms wrap around her as well. She squeezed her friend with every ounce of strength she had. The complaints followed soon after.

“APRIL, I CAN’T BREATHE.”

“You’re dead. You don’t need to.”

“Alright, alright, I missed you too. But please, you’re crushing my ribs.”

“You’re a turtle. You don’t have ribs.”

“Softshell turtles do! Apriiiiiiiil!”

“Fine,” she said. April loosened the hug a bit. “I missed you, Dee.”

“I know,” Donnie replied. April could hear the smile in his voice.

After a moment, April pulled away from the hug. She took a step back to get a better look at her friend. He still looked exactly the same as he did three years ago. He had the same smirk, the same Megamind size forehead, the same drawn-on eyebrows, and the same purple markings on his shoulders. Though those were hidden a bit by the cloak he wore. April smiled. Then she hit Donnie on the head with her baseball bat.

“Ow!” Donnie exclaimed, rubbing the spot on his forehead where she had struck him. “What was that for?!

“That was for dying on me,” April said giving him a look and pouting. “And on top of that, you programmed your voice into all your inventions! Every time I went out on a mission, it was like you were there but you weren’t at the same time! And don’t even get me started on Omega. Do you know how many breakdowns the boys and I had in the weeks after your death?”

Donnie glanced down at his feet, looking a bit guilty. “If I can remember correctly, you had 3, Mikey had 4, Casey had 1, and Leo had 5,” he muttered.

April’s eyes widened. “That’s… correct,” she muttered, shocked. “Wait, how did you know?”

Donnie scratched his arm. “You couldn’t see me but… the reason I know is because I was there. Raph, Dad, and Cass were too.”

“Of course,” April said, raising her head. “We are not alone. How could I forget.”

Donnie winked at her. “Can’t get rid of me that easily,” he said. She let out a small chuckle. God, she had missed him.

“YOU ARE NOT HAVING A REUNION WITH APRIL WITHOUT ME!” someone yelled. April snapped her head up. That voice… It sounded really familiar. She knew she had heard it many times before but she couldn’t put a finger on it.

“Who was that?” April asked.

“That,” Donnie said, a secretive smile on his face. “Would be Raph.”

Before April could react, the large snapping turtle landed with a big whump beside her, glowing crimson. “April!” he cried, his face lighting up like a flashlight.

And she thought seeing Donnie again was an emotional roller coaster. But he had only been dead for three years. April hasn’t seen Raph in thirteen years. She immediately teared up again.

“Raph,” she choked out, grinning through her tears. He smiled back before scooping her and Donnie up into a big bear hug. April started to laugh. When was the last time they had a group hug like this?

“Thank you for taking care of Leo and Mikey for us, April,” Raph whispered, making April cry even more. “You don’t hear this nearly enough but you did a great job. We’re all proud of you.”

April sniffed and hugged Raph back even harder. “You’re the best. I missed you guys so much,” she said, addressing both Hamato brothers. “Though, I feel guilty for leaving Leo and Mikey behind. They were devastated after what happened to you guys. I don’t want to cause them more grief.”

“Not to be a pessimist but,” Donnie began to say.

“Dee, I know exactly what you’re going to say and I don’t want to hear it,” April said, shooting him a look from over Raph’s shoulder.

At that, the snapping turtle released the two of them from the hug and looked directly into April’s eyes. “That’s the hardest part about being dead. As much as I loved reuniting with Pops and Gram-gram, I felt guilty about leaving you guys behind, exactly like how you’re feeling now. But, there is something we can do about it.”

April’s eyes widened. “What is it?” she asked.

Raph grinned. “We don’t leave them behind. We’re spirits April, we can go wherever we want. If you like, we can go down to New York right now to look after them.”

“Yes!” April exclaimed. She may be dead but she was still the go-getter she always was. She wants to help in any way that she can.

“Alright,” Donnie said. “But first we need to gather the rest of our little spy crew.” Donnie cleared his throat and posed like a Disney Princess. “Oh, Papa! Gram-gram!”

The souls of Karai and Splinter appeared right beside them. April gasped. “Splints! Karai!” she cried as she ran to hug them. Splinter let out a chuckle as she scooped them up.

“It’s good to see you too, April,” her favorite rat man said fondly.

She pulled away from the hug and Karai put a hand on her cheek. “You’ve done so well, my child,” she said with a warm smile. April had to fight back tears. Again.

“I missed you guys so much,” April said. It was like she was a broken record, repeating the words “I missed you” over and over again. How many people dear to her had been lost over the past 24 years? So many people had died at the hands of the Kraang.

��Oh yeah! Our ghostly spy crew is complete!” Raph exclaimed. “Wait a second, where's…?” The snapping turtle trailed off mid sentence and fixed his eyes on something over April’s shoulder. Curious, she turned around to see the one and only Cassandra Jones charging towards them. April’s eyes widened. She really needed to get used to seeing the souls of her dead friends again.

“Guys!” Casey cried. “Guys, guys guys! I-” She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw April, her eyes comically large.

“April?” she gasped. “You’re here! Oh, no you’re here. Ahem, well, uh, good to see you again, sorry that you died. Leo’s been stabbed, we need to go.”

“Leo’s been WHAT?!” Raph screeched, sounding like he was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Oh, that’s not good,” Donnie muttered, his eyes showing the fear his voice refused to express.

“Tell me about it,” April said, having finally recovered from the shock of seeing Casey again. “Not only is he wounded, which is bad enough, he and Mikey are the only resistance leaders left since I, you know, already died.”

“Speaking of which, the wound on your back looks pretty bad,” Splinter stated.

“Hm?” April turned around to look at her back and winced when she saw the ghostly representation of her mangled flesh. “Yikes,” she whispered.

Raph leaned in to mutter something to her. “Don’t worry. We can fix it later. I came to the afterlife with a giant hole in my chest but I found a way to make it disappear before Donnie came.” He straightened up and made his voice louder so everyone could hear. “Right now we need to go down to New York. Leo’s going to need all the help he can get, even if it’s beyond the grave.”

“I second that,” Donnie said, stepping forward. “Something tells me that the next few minutes are going to be crucial to who will win the war.”

“Let’s go then!” Casey exclaimed. “Junior is currently dragging Leo to get help for his wound.”

“Ok,” April said confidently. “Wait, I don’t know how to…I don’t even know what to call it. Teleport down to Earth?”

“That is alright. Come,” Karai said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We will help you.” The six of them made a circle and joined hands, April in between Splinter and Donnie.

“Hey,” April whispered to the two Hamatos she was stuck in between. “As crazy as things are right now, I’m glad I’m with you guys.”

“Right back at cha’ O’Neil,” Donnie said with a smirk.

“We are all happy to talk to you again,” Splinter said. He gave her a big smile. God, she had missed him. April would have to catch up with him more later.

“Ready?” Karai called out. They all nodded. April looked around the circle, at Donnie, at Raph, at Splinter and Karai, and at Cassandra. She still couldn’t believe she was seeing them again.

“Alright,” Karai said, a soft smile on her face. “3, 2, 1.” And they disappeared into thin air.

Five Minutes Later…

“DID HE SERIOUSLY JUST RUN PAST MY DEAD BODY?!?!”

#rottmnt #future rottmnt #april o'neil #rottmnt april #rise april #dorky pals for life #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #rise splinter #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles the movie #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt movie #rottmnt hurt/comfort #rottmnt fanfiction

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sadhorsegirl · 1 year

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need it on the official record that i do love moiraine and lan's relationship sososo much!!!

i love the implicit understanding they have with each other, based partially in the fact that they are both heirs separated from a crown for very different reasons. moiraine and lan are both people who cannot go back to where they came from, whether they want to or not. so there is this shared sense of loneliness, and drift that they share, wrapped up in the idea that they probably aren't going to survive the last battle (or even the journey to it) and would rather sacrifice themselves than have anyone they care for or, in moiraine's case for some people deem more necessary to The Pattern (although to be fair to her, this often still means having a certain level of care for them she just um. wasn't raised to know how to show any healthy positive emotion i don't think) moving in companionable silence eternally Searching™

i've grown increasingly haunted by this exchange they have at the end of new spring:

like............"surrender after you are dead. yes." is the sentiment set up as one of the core values of their partnership starting from the very moment she decides to ask lan to be her warder. surely, this will end well for all parties and will NOT have any tragic implications!

it sets up this really harsh poetic symmetry (surprise) when they have their Big Fight™ in the great hunt. moiraine LITERALLY invokes how they first met with funny little jokes abt him throwing her in a pond to get his defenses down so she can jump scare him w an intense re-examination of their relationship. the whole fight is basically her forcing him to think on his toes so she can examine him at his most basic emotional level in order to try and expose the truth abt how he feels, going from playful to painful at the flip of a coin lol. and he's aware of it!!! him calling her out on it and her answering back w patented Aes Sedai Speak, in a relationship that should be free of such manipulation.....

the real master stroke here, though, is the fact that the chapter is from moiraine's pov. we get to see her own inner thoughts about it and see that beneath the devastating chess game she's playing she's just as heartbroken at having to play it. the argument is really a crystalization of what makes her such an interesting character for me -- she is leveraging absolutely brutal social dynamics in order to, from her perspective, HELP someone she cares for deeply.

essentially, moiraine is saying that in his love for nynaeve he's found something to live for beyond sacrifice and that means that their bond to each other must be terminated. he can create a new life, and bc she thinks she understands how everything will play out moiraine thinks she is just cutting down the time before he realizes he can and will ask for her to dissolve the bond anyway. he isn't wed to death anymore, leaving the heavy implication that moiraine still is.

which sets us up for something really interesting for them in s2 i think! while their relationship in the show seems to generally be under less strain than it is where we see them in the mainline series, there remains another crucial difference btw the books and the show -- moiraine has siuan!!!!! im rly excited to see how that comes into play in terms of any potential interpretation of this fight/the breakdown of lan and moiraine's relationship bc it makes her decision to push him away feel even more hypocritical and rooted in her tendency to be self-sacrificing to the point of self loathing.

tldr for anyone just trying to figure out what this might all mean for season two according to one singular poster on tumblr dot com: in the books moiraine feels very........time to burn all bridges so no one can chase after me on my suicide mission basically and i can't say im NOT excited to see if that's where she ends up in the show (to live is to suffer etc etc)

#ch 22 of the great hunt is the assigned reading for todays post!!!! plz be prepared for the pop quiz at tomorrows lecture!!#yes it WAS necessary to break out some NOTES some PASSAGES #this fight drives me insane one of the best thing in the entire series i am not kidding #he knows what shes doing!! she knows he knows what shes doing!!!! and still!!!! she chooses to hurt him to try and save him!!!#guess queer platonic life partners doesnt have to cover an entire life together 👀😬🫡#lan mandragoran #moiraine damodred #wheel of time #wot on prime #wot books spoilers #meta

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aramatientediada · 1 year

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So, I started to use antidepressants

Since depression is the main topic in this site I decided to share my experience here.

My psychologist said to me see a psychiatrist or general physician for medicine prescription. In the public health system we have to talk with the general doc to get a specialist anyway.

I asked for psychiatrist and the doc offered an agreement, he'd give me a medicine and if it don't work in 15 days then he'll refer me to the psychiatrist.

He didn't give any detail about the medicine, besides to take it once a day.

I meet with the psychologist that day. She reacted to the fact that the doc prescribed a whole pill instead half and she make it very clear I have to take it in the morning and only in the morning because it gives me "disposition".

I took it 6 am and then read leaflet (I know I know but I tent to trust the doctors). So, NOBODY WAS GOING TO TELL ME I CAN'T DRIVE OR OPERATE HEAVY MACHINES WHILE USING THAT? I mean, I don't drive, but I have license so... I might.(!)(?)

Don't you hate it when you take a medicine for a thing and the side effects include that thing? I had this experience with others medicines before, but at least with the allergy one it made sense.

Somewhere between 8 and 10 am I started to VERY SLEEPY. Where was my desired disposition? I also felt other foreseen symptoms, like much mental blurriness and a bit of nausea in certain moments.

High, I was high but without the "good part" of feeling high we get with alcohol. Only the bad part.

This all got some better in the evening, but before the nigh I was very sleepy again. Probably something to do with I woke up before 4am?

Now is the next day. I hold my sleepiness and only went to bed around 9 or 10 pm but wake up by myself before 6. Which now that I look at it was a very good sleep time.

I wake up with residual sleep, but with a bit of "disposition" . Still a bit of that "bad high" feeling and The Confusion™.

Disobeying medical orders I took only half pill today, now lets see how the day goes.

At this moment you must be asking "But what about the intended effect? What about what really matters? Does it work".

Yes... and maybe.

I don't know how far it's actually working or is the placebo effect. I was actually feeling a lil better since my psych said to me ask for medicine. And a lot better having the prescription in hands. It's what Lori Gottlieb mentioned in "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone", the hope for a "cure" that makes us fell better for itself. (Hope actually has great medicinal power according science)

I can say that while physically I'm feeling a lil trash, emotionally I'm... perfectly normal!

Which is a humongous upgrade!

Not more that psychological enormous pain, that despair, that dread of living. Even though all the things in my life that make me fell worthless, in danger, without future, hopeless, powerless are still there!

Now those thing are just bothersome things that exist, but no more thing that make me want to cease exist every time I think about 'em.

I feel as wanting to unalive yourself is not a feeling, neither a desire or any natural part of the brain but a malfunction! Ok ok, we know the depression itself is already a malfunction, but I'm talking about the will to end yourself.

I'm not feeling a super love for live, that sweet feeling of wanting to live, but neither to stop living. And I don't feel that only the feelings and rationalization that give me suicidal intention were vanished, because they weren't (completely), but the intention itself is unable to exist.

Bad though are just bad toughs and nothing else, not triggers.

Is this how normal people feel? Is this how the people who never want to end themselves feel even when everything is terrible in their lives? Is this how they can fight back?

What a delicious feeling, I wish I could have it without the sleepy and nausea.

#antidepressants #depression #medicine #experience #sertraline #suicidal

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reenvisiongame · 1 year

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Side Stories + About Liza

Time to talk about a new storytelling feature, as well as a certain shopkeeper!

Development on the shop system is still going steady! In fact, if all goes well, I have plans on showing that off in depth in the coming weeks. Being a solo developer, though, my attention must remain split across many fields, one of which being the writing department (especially important, as this is a story-driven game). This leads me to something that I don’t think I’ve really mentioned before...

In ReEnvision, there’s times where the story takes a break. This is usually done to create the illusion of time passing, as well as give the player some downtime to enjoy the world at their own pace. Stop and smell the roses, all that. These breaks are called “free times” (or “free periods”, I use the terms interchangeably). During these free times, one of the ways to end them is by completing a “side story”. As the name suggests, these are basically just story-driven side quests you can do. Think of how confidants work in the Persona series, it’s similar to that, but shorter!

During these side stories, you get some lovely time to spend with one of the 9 characters who have one. Establish a bond with them. Treat them kindly and by the end of the story, maybe you’ll get a reward! Who knows?

Of course, because this is ReEnvision, there’s still a bit of a challenge to this. You see, you don’t have endless breaks. This game has 3 different routes, and different amounts of free periods are available during them. In the true/neutral routes, you have 22-24 free times. In the bad route (also called the “erased” route), you only have 12.

Now, this doesn’t sound so bad... Except every side story takes up an entire free period. Most of them are also multi-parters, and some ALSO have prerequisites, so there’s a good chance you won’t be able to complete all of them in a single run solely because you messed up the order they’re loosely done in.

The best order to do them in is... Never told to you! So there’s some fun trial and error to do as well. These free periods are also spread across every chapter, so I hope you’re good at time management, too.

Don’t stress too hard, though! Completing every side story isn’t a requirement to beat the game. Feel free to only do the ones you want (as long as they’re unlocked, of course). You don’t even have to do any of them, if you don’t want to! I wrote the main storyline under the assumption that there will be at least ONE person who ignores every single free period, so although it’s suggested you take advantage of them, you won’t be lost in the story if you decide not to.

However, I do have plans on adding steam achievements, and completing every side story will be a requirement for a few of them. So... Have fun with that :)

ANYWAY, enough about the suffering of future completionists, let’s talk Liza!

My attention this month has been split between the shop system, which uses Liza as a test subject, and Liza’s side story, which has 3 parts to it. This month has felt like a Liza Appreciation Month™ because of it. It’s about to turn into two months, though, as although my time developing the shop system will finally be ending soon, my time with Liza isn’t done yet!

In April, I will begin developing a boss fight for the game, just to see how I should go about making them in the future. I didn’t feel like making a new set of sprites just to test this with the game’s very first boss, so I decided to make use of one of the bosses that are already in the game at the moment. Can you guess who it is?

That’s right, Liza! She’s not only the game’s main shopkeeper, but also the second boss of the entire game.

This boss fight will probably take a while to develop, largely because sprites take forever to create. But when Liza’s finally in action on the arena, I’m sure it’ll be super fun to see! This year is the year that development finally starts getting exciting, and we’re only just starting >:D

#reenvision game #pixel art #devlog #indie game #screenshot saturday #gamedev

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meetmeatthecoda · 2 years

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I believe that my friend is pregnant (I mean, she hasn't told me or anyone yet – except, maybe her partner, and even of that I am not sure – but the signs are all there, what with the change in her diet, behavior, that Look™ in her eyes that makes me think about that quote from 101 Dalmatians and it looks like she's starting to show) and I must admit I'm a little at loss for what to do right now (except making sure the food I cook when she's over is healthy for a pregnant woman, you know, just in case...) which makes me rather nervous (especially considering that we meet up today, for the first time since I realized she might very well be pregnant, and I'm trying to force myself to keep cool) and yet strangely reminds me about TBL (even my mum told me jokingly that I must have known something was up with how often I talked about Agnesgate these past few months 😅), so I guess what I'm trying to say is do you, by any chance, have any pregnant!Lizzy headcanons to share (because your headcanons are always a delight to read... not to mention your fics but that's a theme for a whole other ask)? No pressure, of course, but I would appreciate it if you do.

Hello there, anon!! 🤗 Firstly, let me say, what a lovely & considerate friend you are!! I've never had a close pregnant friend or family member, so I don't know how I would feel & behave in that circumstance, but I certainly hope I would be just like you!! I mean, wanting to cook appropriate foods for her??? How sweet 😭😭😭 Secondly... do we have a verdict yet?? 👀😂😁 Forgive me for being nosy, but I'm low-key invested now LOL And THIRDLY - to commemorate the (potential) occasion - OF COURSE I can whip up some pregnant!Lizzie headcanons for you!! It would be my pleasure & I must add that I'm very touched you think so highly of my silly headcanons & even my self-indulgent fics, that really means the world to me 🥺🥺 So, without further ado, here are your made-to-order headcanons (placed under the cut cause I have a feeling I'm gonna get carried away lolol) - I really hope you enjoy them, please feel free to pop back in & update me tee hee, & much, much love to you, of course, my caring friend!! 😍🥰❤️

Red is an attentive partner under everyday circumstances, but when he & Lizzie find out they're expecting a baby, he goes into overdrive. But not in an over-bearing, panicked, or annoying way; quite the opposite, in fact, as he becomes even more understanding, sympathetic, & loving. And one of the ways he feels he can be the most helpful is with food. When Liz's cravings hit her hard, Red prefers to retrieve her sought-after foods himself or - only if it's too far away that he doesn't want to leave her or she asks him not to - then he sends a trusted someone like Dembe or Baz, both of whom he knows will meticulously check the order for everything Liz wants before they make the return journey. Red also tries his best to obtain pregnancy-safe versions of the foods & drinks Liz can't have. He flies in specially-made sushi from Japan with no raw fish, orders her favorite caffeine-free imitation sodas from the internet (with Dembe's help), & buys mocha-flavored candies to quench her coffee-cravings. However, his favorite food-related act of love is cooking for her himself, much preferring to oversee the safe preparation of all the ingredients - carefully steering clear of anything that makes her nauseous - & lovingly putting together a plate for her with hearts drawn on the plate in sauces & gravy bc he's a total sap, who are we kidding

Red's favorite part of Lizzie's pregnancies (bc they FOR SURE have more than one baby together, I will NOT be taking questions at this time) is how her body changes. She is beautiful to him in any & every form & pregnancy is no exception at all. He makes a point to worship her body - growing & stretching & so gracefully accommodating his child - especially when she complains of "not feeling pretty anymore". He provides endless foot rubs, back massages, & jumps at the chance to apply lotion to her itchy, stretched skin. And, of course, he takes the most joy in pleasuring her in bed, trying his best to give her tired, aching body all the relief & joy he can. i'm predictable & i don't care 😏

Lastly, the only thing Red loves more than cooking for Lizzie or worshiping her body... is talking & reading to their unborn baby. From the moment Lizzie feels the first flutter, not a day goes by when Red doesn't press his hands to her tummy & murmur to their child, hoping to earn a wiggle or kick for his troubles. The day Lizzie grabs his hand & presses it to her side, trying not to get her hopes up that he'll finally be able to feel the tiny kick from inside her, only to see his eyes widen in amazement & quickly fill up with tears is a day she'll never forget. From that moment on, Red is touching & kissing her belly at every opportunity, talking to the baby quietly - assuring it how much he loves it & its mother - & ordering nearly every children's book ever published to read to it at night time, often managing to soothe both the baby & Lizzie to sleep. The baby responds to his voice from that very first day, always the most active when Red is close & reading in a low tone & Red keeps a hand on her belly to try & accurately judge which books are the baby's favorites, making Liz roll her eyes fondly & mutter that Red is spoiling their baby before it's even born, while she's not-so-secretly happier than she's ever been, tears always sliding down her cheeks as she watches Red interact so lovingly with their baby.

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #Agnesgate #thoughts #headcanons #ask #anon #ooooooooh this was fun #thank you so much for asking for this anon!!#and i hope you get some good news from your friend soon!!#😄#i hope you enjoyed these anon!!#much much love to you!!#❤️

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rambles-about-minecraft-ocs · 2 years

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If you take thoughts about your arranged marriage au may I offer

Scott taking Jimmy to a meeting if some sort and Jimmy's parents being there. How would they react to their son being not only alive, but happier than he ever was with them?

And how does Jimmy feel seeing the people who abandoned him and practically left him for dead again?

Love it so far!

i'm gonna be honest, i haven't developed lizzie and jimmy's parents much past "they suck for the sake of kicking off the plot." they definitely would know already that scott didn't go with the "killing jimmy" thing, the way they half expected him to. but based on the little bit i DO have decided about them, the fact that jimmy is thriving with scott, not just scraping by, would be a pretty big shock to them! they kinda went "well, we don't really care about our kid, so we'll throw him to the wolves to stop a war" and then didn't think anything good would happen to him even if he did survive the marriage. they'd really mostly just be kinda confused, but shrug it off so long as there isn't a war brewing. i think, honestly, the part that would frustrate them the most is that scott still doesn't seem to like them that much? they don't get why he STILL hates them, seems to hate them even MORE now. didn't he get what he wanted? he agreed to their terms, after all!

and meanwhile scott just despises them for being so fucked up that they'd throw their son away like that, and the only reason he's honoring the terms of the treaty at all is because jimmy has made a point to clarify that there are many good, honest people in his home kingdom, who would suffer if scott started up a war on jimmy's behalf

jimmy, meanwhile....well. he knows his parents aren't great - he outright encouraged lizzie to run away when she got the chance, even though she couldn't bring him with her. he knows that what they did wasn't necessarily a good parent thing to do....but he didn't fully internalize that? like. there's a part of him that really wants his parents to care about him, to not be disappointed with him. and after some time, he sort of decided "if i have to die in order to keep my people safe, then....i guess that's a noble enough end. maybe mother and father are right, this is how it must be"

it takes a WHILE for him to realize that they were just plain wrong, just trying to save their own skin as opposed to doing this for the sake of their kingdom

basically, his feelings on his parents are a confusing muddle, and it would really depend on when in the timeline this happened! towards the start, he would probably kinda revert back into being "the good son" who listens to them and tries to make them happy and show that he's strong and capable and intelligent and useful(which would probably in turn unnerve scott, because scott has finally gotten jimmy comfortable enough to be more relaxed around him, and a relaxed jimmy is NOT a quiet and serious and solemn jimmy). if it were later on, after jimmy has come to terms with the fact that he was never going to be good enough for his parents? he probably would go out of his way to not interact with them, even if they're there in some official capacity and interacting with them would be what's Proper™. either way, it would hurt a lot to see them just standing there, as though they didn't horribly wrong him with their actions. like, yeah, sure, the whole thing worked out in the end and he and scott are friends now(and later actually in love, too, not just Married For Politics), but he's acutely aware of the fact that they didn't think he'd get this far

scott would probably let jimmy just get up and leave, honestly, instead of insisting he stayed, but i think that jimmy would want to stay in the room regardless, partially because there's that part of him that wants to keep making them proud even if he knows he shouldn't care, and partially because he's not positive they won't say something awful to scott that might start a war if he's not around to try to mediate. scott....really doesn't like jimmy's parents, and the way they talk about their son can wear on his patience very very quickly

#flower husbands #empires jimmy #empires scott #empires smp #arranged marriage au #neohood #ask #jimmy has many confusing emotions regarding his parents #he's pretty sure nothing he does will make them love him but he still desperately wants to be wrong about that #it takes. a while to let that go #also i am absolutely accepting thoughts i love thoughts thoughts make my brain go brrr

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lytefoot · 5 years

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Malfoy Manor in the films

This is in response to this tag from @slowburnotptrash that I completely dropped in the vast wasteland of liminal time.

The question was about Hermione getting the “Mudblood” scar in the films but not in the books.

I’m gonna put this whole thing under a read more, though, with a content warning for mention of violence, disfigurement, alcoholism, and torture.

This is one of those things that, in isolation, is fine, but it’s symptomatic of one of the big problems with the movies.

In the movies, the human stakes are low. Nobody ever really suffers. People die, sometimes. But they don’t get really hurt.

Let me give an example. This is what Bill Weasley’s face looks like in DH:

(Image from the HP wiki.)

I mean, okay, scars, but hardly disfiguring. This is not we are given to expect by the description of his injuries in HBP. Yes, yes, makeup, etc... except that cosplayers typically manage to give him scars that are much more significant without a Hollywood budget.

In general, the stakes in the movies are low, and violence doesn’t have consequences unless someone dies. I think a lot of this has to do with maintaining the ratings. The HP films are all rated either PG or PG-13. In order to do that, they had to seriously tone down how serious a lot of what happened was.

(One obvious example of something that was probably omitted to keep the PG-13 rating? Winky’s story line. A serious, and sympathetic, depiction of alcoholism being used to self-medicate depression in the wake of trauma is really likely to get you an R rating right there.)

And one of the things they had to tone down was the torture at Malfoy Manor. Why didn’t Ron respond appropriately? Because Ron’s appropriate response would have clearly communicated just how much danger Hermione was in. We have Hermione subjected to some Bad Magic (tm), and up on her hind legs making speeches in the next scene. Nothing traumatic here, kiddos. Nothing to draw too much attention to the fact that what just happened was that one of the protagonists, an 18-year-old girl, was just tortured nearly to death by a woman who we know to be an experienced torturer who rather enjoys the job.

But Malfoy Manor was a big stinking deal. Depending on how you read the second half of DH, it had a significant impact on Hermione as a person. The movie really, really needed to make it obvious that something serious happened, without upsetting the ratings board. So we get the “Mudblood” scar as something she can point at, something she can wear as a badge of honor.

But it just isn’t in character for Bellatrix to do something like that. For one thing, Bellatrix had absolutely no intention of Hermione surviving that encounter. Seriously. We literally have her on page saying, “And I think we can dispose of the Mudblood. Greyback, take her if you want her.” (DH p. 472 in my copy, US hardback.) She’s gonna feed Hermione to her pet werewolf now. No particular need to leave her with a lasting mark of dishonor.

The other issue is the clear fact that many of wizards’ most potent methods of torture, such as the Cruciatus curse, just don’t leave a mark. If they choose to do something that does leave a mark, like the cuts on Neville’s face later in DH (which we didn’t get in the films) or the “I must not tell lies” scar on Harry’s hand, they’re doing it for a reason. What would Bellatrix’s reasoning behind “Mudblood” be? What message is she trying to communicate? One reason might be to intensify the humiliation of being tortured, but that simply doesn’t seem Bellatrix’s style, certainly not when she’s torturing out of an urgent need for information. (There isn’t a mark on the Longbottoms, for example.)

So I don’t mind the “Mudblood” scar itself, but it feels like a part of the bigger picture of the movies making the Bad Things that happen in the books less meaningful and more cartoonish.

(I could go on for hours about how completely f***ed up the entire attitude toward violence perpetuated by these sorts of ratings decisions is, frankly. It’s fine to have violence as long as it’s consequence-free? Really? That’s the attitude we’re going to take as a society? That it’s less harmful to make children believe that nothing really bad happens if you get shot than it is for them to see that something really bad does happen when you get shot? Seriously?)

#discourse #malfoy manor #cw: torture #cw: alcoholism mention #cw: disfigurement mention #cw: violence #hp movies

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folatefangirl · 6 years

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Review: The Serpent’s Shadow

So I just finished my first book of 2018, which incidentally was my first foray into reading Mercedes Lackey with a copy of The Serpent’s Shadow that happened to be lying around the house I’m currently at. On the surface, it seemed like something right up my alley: 1) a medically-inclined main character, 2) diverse characters and relationships, and 3) set in a historical time period I personally find interesting (WWI or thereabouts). But after reading it, I think I might need to read something else by Mercedes Lackey to get a more objective read on her as an author.

This book is hella old, but a general warning for spoilers below, y’all.

Stuff I Liked:

The medical aspect of the book seemed to be well-researched and pretty accurate to the time period, at least as far as I could tell, and I think that was my favorite part of the whole reading experience.

The writing was enjoyable and fun to read, though Lackey seems to really like exclamation points. She also used a lot of em dashes, but I was cool with it since she only started favoring it when the pacing in the story needed to pick up so it was a useful stylistic choice, I think.

The main characters were good people, almost too good for my tastes (which I’ll go into more detail in the next section) and I thought the development of a biracial relationship set in a contentious time period for the UK was an interesting touch.

I like that the magic system has rules and that there are limitations set on it, which is something I still don’t see enough fantasy authors doing.

It did try to touch on at least some of the reasons why anti-colonialists were doing certain things.

I need more of the Scottish Selkie village like burning because, wow, that would make for an awesome modern-ish Celtic mythology story.

Stuff I Didn’t Like:

The characters are good people and very progressive for the time period. While I love that, to a certain extent it seemed like a lot of posturing? As in, they would do or think certain Progressive Woke Stuff™ and it just went on and on and on... Until I wanted to yell at them, “Okay, I get it. X = good, Y = bad! Now could we please get on with the story?!”

Per Shivani, I’m glad the book showed her hurt and anger over the colonization of India, but the story basically made it out to be a revenge story with Shivani losing her morals in order to attack the British and didn’t really expand upon the nature of colonization? As in, Dr. Progressive Maya didn’t add her own perspective on it all that much, even though you’d think she’d have a lot to say, being mixed-race and a daughter of both the colonizer and the colonized.

Addendum: Shivani was just the Bad Murder Queen while the Indian immigrants who served Maya were all good and didn’t seem to have much to say about colonization, either. Then the latter third of the book was all “Oh no, we must protect the British Isle from India’s revenge” without really addressing why Shivani wants that revenge so badly? I mean, Maya is innocent, sure, but Shivani was murdering those men who abused her nation for reasons she considered pretty damn important. By neglecting to address this, it just seems like a wasted opportunity tbh.

I had a lot of Feelings about how Kali was portrayed in this book. I know that authors can take artistic license, etc. etc., but it was just so blatantly off that I couldn’t get over it. Fortunately, there was something towards the end that improved this, but I can’t help but think any readers who are unfamiliar with Hinduism will get the wrong impression of Kali?

The accented dialogue, while kinda adding some characterization, got unreadable at times. Plus, the fact that it was mostly applied to impoverished Londoners or Irish characters made me side-eye it? Idk, I just wasn’t a big fan.

This is just a nitpick, but WTF was up with that suffragette subplot? I don’t really understand what it was trying to add at all. If I read more of the books (which I don’t plan to), I might try to see if the ones later in the series address the problematic parts of the suffragette movement or why exactly it was plopped into this story, except to show that the characters are oh-so-progressive. Idk, I like morally good characters, but not when an author anvil drops their Goody Goodness on my head at the expense of telling the story.

TL;DR: The best I can say about this book is that it was okay. Not great, just okay.

#booklr #book reviews #the serpent's shadow #mercedes lackey #my reviews

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