#acephobia is real

[yagikidd57]

I just love when people tell me Acephobia/Aphobia is not real and when I describe some of my acephobic experiences, they go “that happens to every queer person though”, literally acknowledging the discrimination against ace spec people is real🤣🤦🏽‍♀️, that is the literal definition of aphobia/acephobia. Also I don’t get this argument when it’s another queer person because if they know what it feels like to be discriminated against because of their queerness, why would they do it to another queer person?😒🤔

#tw acephobia #aphobia #lgbtqia+ #asexual #asexuality is valid #ace community #asexuality #ace space #lgbtqia #lgbtqia community #lgbtqia+ community #queer community #asexuality is a spectrum #aroace #ace spec #stop discriminating #discrimination #wtf #acephobia is real #aphobia is real

[kindly-gourd]

maybe the reason you can’t find very many people having negative reactions to Connor coming out or even calling it homophobic for him to be ace is because you’re just wrong and acephobic 🤔

maybe what’s harming the LGBTQ+ community isn’t asexual people existing openly, but rather you villainizing groups within the community like this

#asexual people belong at pride #asexual people deserve representation #acephobia is real #ace connor hawke #connor hawke #dc pride 2022 #asexual representation

[bloggingboutburgers]

Since aphobes (or just the one aphobe idk) decided to go ham in my inbox today I didn’t choose peace either

Good thing those peeps are a minority in the community tbh (I think...? I hope...? From what I know...?)

#no one can know i don't like sex #aphobia #acephobia #asexual problems #aromantic problems #exclusionist tw #ace exclusion #real talk i don't like drawing stuff like this i hope i can get back to lighter hehehoohoo stuff that doesn't fingerpoint at anyone soon #just needed things out of my system ig #my art #nonburger

[aroaceking]

"#god I think about this all the time#my 15 year old niece identifies as ace#and I’m like (privately)#you’re 15!#you don’t want to have sex! that’s fine!#it’s not an identity!"

screaming forever endlessly agonizingly this upsets me viscerally

I found the label 'asexual' also sometime around 14. This helped me immensely with recognizing ways I was different from my peers and even potentially harming them. Realizing I had an experience that could be defined and also was outside of many of my friend's helped alleviate some of the panic surrounding what attraction even meant.

I literally did not think attraction was a real thing, except maybe some strange future things adults had that I never wanted to experience, before I ever had a name for it.

Some of it was trauma, some of it wasn't. I still do not experience sexual or romantic attraction.

Also!! It's not!!!! About action! It's not about if you want to have sex or not!!! For some people that's how they learn it but it's not! Fucking! About that! It's about attraction!!!!!! It's about if you're fucking attracted to people!!!

I'm so fucking tired of this shit I'm so fucking exhausted with it. You think it's weird or creepy for a child to identify as asexual but it's weirder and creepier to me that you 1) equate it with sexual activity and 2) equate a child's desire to identify with it to sexual activity!!!

And even if that was how a child was using it, okay, they can always identify away from it when they understand themselves better or feel more comfortable!!! It's okay for labels to chance, it's okay for our identities and understanding of self to shift. It's okay for them to not!

Stop! Sexualizing! Asexuality!!!! It is an orientation! It's very alienating to be a teenager and not have any crushes or understand what people are even talking about when they discuss crushes or what makes someone 'hot' or whatever fucking else and sex doesn't! Have to be a part of that even!!

#asexuality #acephobia #idk how to tag this I want to keep in mind ppl don't want to see this #bc obviously I was triggered #ace discourse #idk #I literally did so much damage to some of my friend's guilt over attraction #bc I didn't! think it was a real thing! #and I was alarmed and upset by conversations on it! #so bc I was autistic as well I'd just be like 'no that's not real or something must be wrong' #LEARNING I WAS ACE #HELPED ME #it helped me contextualize things I didn't fucking understand!

[negativepeanuthoarder]

Genuinely the worst take I've ever seen in this fandom was someone saying "well is he REALLY queer - he's only ace" about Karl (they were looking for reasons to justify disliking him ig?)

In all seriousness can we please not resurrect ace exclusionism just because we don't like a YouTuber? For fuck's sake people.

#discourse #aphobia tw #acephobia tw #cw aphobia #tw aphobia #aphobia #acephobia #You're not “protecting ”“”“”real“”“”“ queer people by excluding Karl for being asexual - you're harming ”“”“”real“”“”“ queer people by bein #an exclusionary asshole ffs

[theblacksmudge]

Every single person I've ever seen who tried to do the 'i do rad*cal femin*sm in a Good Not Bigoted Way' thing has had some dogshit opinion or other even if theyre genuinely not bigots in the usual manner. Often around kink or asexuality

#blog i was just on seemed fine but then tried to argue that acephobia was 'just misogyny' as if that holds up to any sort of real scrutiny #censored words to avoid getting into the tags #making one form of oppression the centre of your understanding of the world is bad for you i think #certainly bad for your Takes #personal

[lewvithur]

really feels like a lot of aphobes reduce aphobia to aces who are salty for being virgins or aros who are salty for being single. plenty of ace people have had sex. plenty of aro people are in a relationship. and even if someone is a single virgin, that is not why they are discriminated against holy shit

#bzz bzz #long story short aphobia real and pretending that people are upset because they aren't getting romance or sex is a great disservice #aphobia #acephobia #arophobia #aromantic #asexual

[griffworks]

carrd

Commissions

art/selfship acc

art fight

toyhouse

bluesky

Cohost

Previously @\wandererundeadd

#dni if you think acephobia isnt real also

[yagikidd57]

Feel free to add

#discrimination #asexuality #lgbtqia+ #asexual #asexuality is valid #ace community #ace space #acephobia #tw aphobia #lgbtqia community #aphobia #acephobia is real #asexuality is a spectrum

[chemicalarospec]

I do not recommend reading The Chandler Legacies btw. Pretty aphobic, especially arophobic -- one of the MCs says "I don't think I can fall in love" in her first chapter and then proceeds to fall in love later on in the book with that never mentioned again. Message obviously being that if someone says they don't fall in love, they just haven't met the right person yet.

#the chandler legacies #the rest of it was good tho. besides the astrology is real bit but that's a more personal preference. tho it was pretty fked up to use it #to decide which students to give a major opputunity #arophobia #aphobia #acephobia #there was a bit that could be seen as that way too tbh #I said this #books #YA

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

⚠️Content Warning: ab*rtion & politics⚠️

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⚠️

So I saw a TikTok from someone in one of the states that banned abortion talking about how most people responded by telling them “¿why don't you just move?” & they said “because this is home, and moving is expensive”. (/srs)

& I was thinking, it's not just that. If you always run from / leave every place something bad happens, eventually the bad spreads to the whole planet because nothing is being done. No laws are being challenged. No representatives &/or senators &/or politicians are being called. No real change is being enacted. (/srs)

& ¿looking at my situation? We're autistic, ADHD, disabled, a system, polyamorous, trans nonbinary, & demiromantic + as-xual. No matter where we go, there will be at least one law or policy (& many angry, hateful, or apathetic people, & people that are violent because they don’t understand) that endangers us & our identity/diagnoses/orientation/etc. (/srs)

¿Where are we supposed to move to? ¿Outer space? ¿Another planet? (/sarcastic, a little snarky)

Even if there were other planets that we livable, other Earthlings would follow & bring all their problems, apathy, hatred, etc. with them. It wouldn't stay safe. (/srs)

¿Do you understand? (/rhetorical)

Problems aren’t solved by running & starting over somewhere new, or by blaming the people who can’t leave. They’re solved by starting where you already are & making change happen. They’re solved by being empathetic, sympathetic, & compassionate. They’re solved by remembering that the people living there are still people, & are human, & deserve help. (/srs, frustrated)

¿Do you understand? (/rhetorical)

Okay to reblog, but hate & unhelpful bs will be blocked.

~Nico (co-host, protector; he/they)

#abortion cw #politics #politics tw #usa politics #TikTok #real change #ableism #lgbt rights #lgbt phobia #transphobia #enby phobia #nonbinary phobia #aphobia #acephobia #ace #polyam #polyamory #polyamorous

[liaisun]

-

#was in a ship's tag and saw someone annoyed that there was queerplatonic content in the ship tag bc 'it's the romantic ship' #'i come for romantic content' #its giving acephobia u guys to be quite honest 😭🫡 #like there is also such less qpr content for that ship compared to like the mainstream fandom interpretation so is it even occurring so muc #2 disrupt ur life? lmfao #i survived ace d/scourse sticker 🫡💜🤍🩶🖤 #Anyway that was tje sign 4 me 2 exit the tag and sleep LOL goodbyeeeee #luniaisun #im back i lied. how r u gonna get 🤨 about a ship's qpr content with an aroace character too bro. BE SO FOR REAL!!!!!!

[salty-dracon]

I made this meme a while ago in response to the climate of the asexual communities on Reddit, specifically the meme subreddit r/aaaaaaacccccccce, which was constantly warring between "too many sex-repulsed memes" and "too many sex-favorable" memes.

Asexuality by definition is experiencing little to no sexual attraction to other people regardless of gender. It is considered an umbrella of sexualities. Every kind of ace person in the world exists, and you have no right to say that someone "isn't really asexual" or "is actively harming the community" by approaching life the way they do. Keep in mind that discrimination for being asexual intersects with race, gender, other queer identities, disability, and other factors.

How any individual asexual chooses to lead their life with regards to their asexual identity is none of my business as a human being. Rather, it is my duty to listen to their experiences and accept that even if they're not my own, that they're still a part of the community. And, as a human being, every asexual has a story worth listening to.

Text transcription under the cut:

[ID: A "The Simpsons Bus Stop" meme. The top panel is unchanged, it is a bus driver saying "don't make me tap the sign". The bottom panel, where the bus driver points to the sign, says the following:

There is no universal asexual experience. Part of being a community is understanding that there are people who have experiences that differ from your own, or what you think is the "proper" asexual experience. The existence of one experience does not invalidate the existence of another. You have no right to tell a real person that their expression is harming the community because they are sex-repulsed or sex-favorable and you are the opposite. Their experience is not the same as yours. That's normal.

You might argue that the existence of sex-repulsed asexuals leads to the perception that all of us can't have sex ever, which makes your allo partners think you're lying when you say you're asexual, or that the existence of sex-favorable asexuals makes allos think that you can be coerced into sex.

Ask yourself- why are you concerned with another person's experience? Why do YOU care so much about how amatonormative society sees asexual people as a whole? Do you think they'll treat us ALL better if you're "one of the good ones"? The only way you can make amatonormative society happy is to stop being asexual.

Acephobia is not the fault of asexual people.

End ID]

#asexual #aspec #asexuality #ace memes #asexual memes

[life-of-an-asexual]

Asexual Non-Fiction

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that's obsessed with sexual attraction, and what we can all learn about desire and identity by using an ace lens to see the world. Through interviews, cultural criticism, and memoir, ACE invites all readers to consider big-picture issues through the lens of asexuality, because every place that sexuality touches our world, asexuality does too.

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker

In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones.

How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess

In this brave, hilarious and empowering graphic memoir, we follow Rebecca as they navigate a culture obsessed with sex—from being bullied at school and trying to fit in with friends, to forcing themself into relationships and experiencing anxiety and OCD—before coming to understand and embrace their asexual identity.

A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality by Molly Mulldoon and Will Hernandez

Writer Molly Muldoon and cartoonist Will Hernandez, both in the ace community, are here to shed light on society’s misconceptions of asexuality and what being ace is really like. This book is for anyone who wants to learn about asexuality, and for Ace people themselves, to validate their experiences. Asexuality is a real identity and it’s time the world recognizes it. Here’s to being invisible no more! 

Asexualities: Feminist and Queer Perspectives edited by Karli June Cerankowski and Megan Milks

As the first book-length collection of critical essays ever produced on the topic of asexuality, this book serves as a foundational text in a growing field of study. It also aims to reshape the directions of feminist and queer studies, and to radically alter popular conceptions of sex and desire. Including units addressing theories of asexual orientation; the politics of asexuality; asexuality in media culture; masculinity and asexuality; health, disability, and medicalization; and asexual literary theory, Asexualities will be of interest to scholars and students in sexuality, gender, sociology, cultural studies, disability studies, and media culture.

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

In this exploration of what it means to be Black and asexual in America today, Sherronda J. Brown offers new perspectives on asexuality. She takes an incisive look at how anti-Blackness, white supremacy, patriarchy, heteronormativity, and capitalism enact harm against asexual people, contextualizing acephobia within a racial framework in the first book of its kind. A necessary and unapologetic reclamation, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality is smart, timely, and an essential read for asexuals, aromantics, queer readers, and anyone looking to better understand sexual politics in America.

I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life by Cody Daigle-Orians

Within these pages lie all the advice you need as a questioning ace teen. Tackling everything from what asexuality is, the asexual spectrum and tips on coming out, to intimacy, relationships, acephobia and finding joy, this guide will help you better understand your asexual identity alongside deeply relatable anecdotes drawn from Cody's personal experience. Whether you are ace, demi, gray-ace or not sure yet, this book will give you the courage and confidence to embrace your authentic self and live your best ace life.

Ace Voices: What it Means to Be Asexual, Aromantic, Demi or Grey-Ace by Eris Young

Drawing upon interviews with a wide range of people across the asexual spectrum, Eris Young is here to take you on an empowering, enriching journey through the rich multitudes of asexual life. With chapters spanning everything from dating, relationships and sex, to mental and emotional health, family, community and joy, the inspirational stories and personal experiences within these pages speak to aces living and loving in unique ways. Find support amongst the diverse narratives of aces sex-repulsed and sex-favourable, alongside voices exploring what it means to be black and ace, to be queer and ace, or ace and multi-partnered - and use it as a springboard for your own ace growth.

Asexual Erotics: Intimate Readings of Compulsory Sexuality by Ela Przybylo

Through a wide-ranging analysis of pivotal queer, feminist, and anti-racist movements; television and film; art and photography; and fiction, nonfiction, and theoretical texts, each chapter explores asexual erotics and demonstrates how asexuality has been vital to the formulation of intimate ways of knowing and being. Asexual Erotics assembles a compendium of asexual possibilities that speaks against the centralization of sex and sexuality, asking that we consider the ways in which compulsory sexuality is detrimental not only to asexual and nonsexual people but to all.

Ace Notes by Michele Kirichanskaya

As an ace or questioning person in an oh-so-allo world, you're probably in desperate need of a cheat sheet. Covering everything from coming out, explaining asexuality and understanding different types of attraction, to marriage, relationships, sex, consent, gatekeeping, religion, ace culture and more, this is the ultimate arsenal for whatever the allo world throws at you.

Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing Your Asexual or Aromantic Identity by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project

Join the The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) for a deep dive into the process of discovering and embracing your ace and aro identities. Empower yourself to explore the nuances of your identity, find and develop support networks, explore different kinds of partnership, come out to your communities and find real joy within. Combining a rigorous exploration of identity and sexuality models with hundreds of candid and poignant testimonials - this companion vouches for your personal truth, wherever you lie on the aspec spectrum.

Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca

Drawing on Sarah and Kayla's personal stories, and those of aspec friends all over the world, prepare to explore your microlabels, investigate different models of partnership, delve into the intersection of gender norms and compulsory sexuality and reconsider the meaning of sex - when allosexual attraction is out of the equation.

#asexual #asexuality #aromantic #representation #original post