#aphobia is real

[yagikidd57]

I just love when people tell me Acephobia/Aphobia is not real and when I describe some of my acephobic experiences, they go “that happens to every queer person though”, literally acknowledging the discrimination against ace spec people is real🤣🤦🏽‍♀️, that is the literal definition of aphobia/acephobia. Also I don’t get this argument when it’s another queer person because if they know what it feels like to be discriminated against because of their queerness, why would they do it to another queer person?😒🤔

#tw acephobia #aphobia #lgbtqia+ #asexual #asexuality is valid #ace community #asexuality #ace space #lgbtqia #lgbtqia community #lgbtqia+ community #queer community #asexuality is a spectrum #aroace #ace spec #stop discriminating #discrimination #wtf #acephobia is real #aphobia is real

[convolutedblasphemy]

Saw a big ace positivity post on Twitter and there was one aphobe in the replies who was like "if mental health institutions existed you'd all be in there 🤷🏻‍♀️" and I rolled my eyes and was ready to scroll on and then I stopped like wait wdym if mental health institutions existed??? What in the conspiracy is this????

#i've seen people who denied the holocaust #and covid #and even allergies #and addictions #but this is the first time I've seen someone deny the existence of mental health clinics #what do you mean those aren't real??? every major hospital has one?? #tw: aphobia #aphobia

[golden-haired-native]

I know the debate died down a while ago, yet I still constantly hear the rhetoric that aros are inherently un-queer and non-lgbt.

Yes, it is slightly different from the other queer identities due to the lack of attraction that is integral to the identity. Nonetheless, I will defend aros with all my might.

Just because it is “different” doesn’t mean it doesn’t belong in the community. Yes, it may be different because of the lack of attraction inherent to the identity and the disconnect from sexuality. And, that doesn’t matter. Not one bit. It diverges from the heteronormative and amatonormative.

I’ve seen people try and justify its exclusion by stating it is not discriminated against. They’re wrong. They couldn’t be any more wrong.

It faces discrimination like many other queer identities, but in different ways. It faces aphobia and prejudice, amatonormativity, and ignorance.

But that is beside the point, discrimination shouldn’t qualify you for queerness, your queerness does. Thus, aromanticism is a queer identity.

To further clarify, I define the word ‘queer’ as an identity that diverges from the normalities in today’s society surrounding gender and sexuality. And I’d be dense if I said that didn’t include aromanticism!

#lgbtq #lgbtqia #aroace #aro #arospec #aro positivity #aromanticism is valid #aromantic #aphobia is a real thing and aromantics are as discriminated as any other queer identity #aphobia #arophobia #aro pride #aromantic spectrum #aromance #aromanticism #aro spec #aroallo

[kaibascorpse]

Can you shut up about transmascs and PLEASE ask yourself why no one besides trans men claim that trans androphobia exists

very funny receiving this ask considering i’ve literally only made one post specifically about transmascs in the past several months, and apparently that’s still too much for anon here.

anyway, trans men are not the only people who believe transandrophobia exists (case in point being that I myself am not a trans man, I’m nonbinary), but even if that were true, I think the answer is pretty obvious? like, considering the way you and many other people want everyone to “shut up about transmascs” and sweep our issues under the rug by pretending they don’t exist, obviously trans men + mascs are going to feel the need to speak up and advocate for ourselves. you’re literally saying “ummm why are the victims of this specific form of oppression the only people talking about it??” and acting like that’s some kind of ‘gotcha’ when it’s actually very easy to understand.

here’s some questions for you anon: have you asked yourself why you take such personal offense to a marginalized group trying to name their struggles? have you bothered to actually listen to what transmascs are saying? have you bothered to try and understand what transandrophobia actually is before attacking people for using a word you don’t like?

#gotta love when someone shows their ass by proving how much they hate transmascs while in the same breath saying transandrophobia isnt real #lmao #transandrophobia #examples of transandrophobia #also very funny how this is another clear example of how this is just a rehash of ace discourse #just swap out transmascs+men for aces and transandrophobia for aphobia and bam! it’s like we’re in 2016 again!

[bloggingboutburgers]

Since aphobes (or just the one aphobe idk) decided to go ham in my inbox today I didn’t choose peace either

Good thing those peeps are a minority in the community tbh (I think...? I hope...? From what I know...?)

#no one can know i don't like sex #aphobia #acephobia #asexual problems #aromantic problems #exclusionist tw #ace exclusion #real talk i don't like drawing stuff like this i hope i can get back to lighter hehehoohoo stuff that doesn't fingerpoint at anyone soon #just needed things out of my system ig #my art #nonburger

[aroace-ventplace]

hey heads up there’s another post getting traction that people are using as an excuse to be shitty about aspecs. good blocklist in the notes if you have the strength for that (and if you dont just block the post itself)

good god first that poll and now this. ​are we in fucking 2015 again? singling out individual aspecs with badly-worded opinions to pass jugdment on an ENTIRE sexuality?

#aphobia #aromantic #asexual #man. fuck this website for real #my post #seen a few people suggest it might be a sockpuppet and yeah it does have those vibes doesnt it.

[ihhfhonao3]

Aros and aces I know that everyone has for some reason decided to make us public enemy #1 again so I must remind you that you are valid, your identity is valid, you are whole on your own, and it is in your god-given right to listen to funky music while mass-blocking aphobes. It’s written in the constitution that you should do that, actually

#hyperpop is my go-to when I’m on a block spree because I get rage and funky beats #aroace #aromantic #aromanticism #aromantic pride #aromantic positivity #asexual #asexuality #asexual positivity #aromantic asexual #aspec #aphobia #reminder that aphobia is real and many of yall assholes are the exact reason why we are oppressed :3c

[skeleton-bat]

If you actually think an ace aro person asking politely if someone is still an aphobe is a 0/10 interaction and not the massive hate and slurs thrown at lgbtq+ get help and a better perspective

#or you know any type of prejuduce thats constantly out there #or idk how bout how people are bombing other people and killing thousands of innocent people idk that seems like a real 0/10 human interact #ace #asexual #aro #aromantic #aphobia #aspec #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #get some actual fucking problems if you think like this

[hidden-impish-creature]

Since Tumblr spat some ace discourse onto my dash like it's 2014...

"Cishet aroace" is an oxymoron. If someone is both asexual and aromantic, they cannot be cisHET because they are neither heterosexual nor heteroromantic. They're not het so they're not cishet. Simple as.

Cishet asexuals can exist because they can still be cisgender and heteroromantic. Cishet aromantics can exist because they can still be cisgender and heterosexual. Cishet aces and cishet aros are real and can be referred to as such.

But there are no "cishet aroaces" because they're not het. If they're both asexual and aromantic, then they aren't attracted to the opposite gender in any way. And that's literally what the "het" in "cishet" means. It's short for "hetero." So you can't exclude aroaces from the LGBTQ+ community solely on the basis that they're cishet. You need to use an argument that doesn't hinge on aroaces being straight, because they're not.

I'm not saying that cishet aces or cishet aros are part of the LGBTQ+ community. I don't really care. I've yet to even encounter one, which makes me wonder if this discourse was ever really about them. The problem here is that people try to use the same argument for people who literally cannot be cishet.

Seeing posts about "cishet aroaces" following that "cishet aro man" poll is giving me psychic damage. Where is the "het" part coming from? You people literally made up a cishet aro to get mad at and then decided that everyone who is aro must also be cishet, even if they're also ace and therefore don't fit half of what that word means.

I've had people in my ask box on my main blog calling me cishet even though I'm openly an ace lesbian dating another girl. Again, where is the "het" part coming from? Does being ace magically make my attraction to other women straight?

Use your brains. Words have meanings, and "cishet" means "cis and het," not "anyone who is aro or ace, regardless of their other identities." Tumblr discourse has misused that word so much, I don't know how to refer to actual cishets without going out of my way to make it clear I mean actual cishets. It's so fucking annoying. You're changing the meaning of important terminology to make it fit whoever you want to exclude. I love this hellsite but sometimes I worry.

#can you all just... go back to twitter already #impish rants #ace #asexual #asexuality #aro #aromantic #aromanticism #tw aphobia #tw discourse #aroace #aspec #(I'm not aro but I'm tagging this with aro tags because this is largely about aros always being called cishet even if they're not.) #aphobe bullshit #funny thing is they'll say the SAM isn't real but then they'll also use it to explain how an ace can still be straight romantically

[buttered-milky]

Something I think about a lot:

When I came out to my parents (I am asexual and aromantic) one of their first tactics to try to scare me back into heteronormativity was asking “well who’s gonna take care of you when you’re older?!”

That one question highlights so much of what is wrong with individualistic, primarily isolated nuclear familial structures in western society. First of all, yes. If you go by that structure who is taking care of you when you’re older would be an issue if you never married or had kids, formed some sort of traditional family basically. Second of all, you don’t have to go by that structure. And yet no one seems to think of this?

My parents were baffled to hear me answer “my friends.”

“Friends don’t do all of that”

??? They do. They can at least and mine would. Maybe some people’s don’t, but mine would. They know they’re basically my family in all but the way society perceives us.

I don’t understand why people can’t accept deep care and affection outside of a romantic/sexual context. I am not worried about being alone when I’m older because I do not plan on having one (1) friend who is also my spouse and whom I am also therefore quite wholly reliant on/intertwined with.

“Who’s gonna take care of you when you’re older”

My community. My friends. All of the people I’ve loved and who love me. Good lord man you don’t have to be stuck with one fucking guy and then also the people you concocted together.

#aphobia #asexuality #aromantism #aromantic #asexual #this attitude is downright odd to me #fym you put all the responsibility on one dude #I mean yeah I could be that one dude for someone but it’s easier with 3-5 business other dudes helping #And also how did you get through life without making a single friend beside your spouse #why is that a thing #why do married couples stop making friends what #I have some friends that I call a ‘package deal’ #where if I meet someone new I’m like okay you’re gonna meet This Guy real soon bc I talk about them so often #just do that with your spouse???

[yagikidd57]

#asexuality is valid #asexuality #asexual #aphobes #aphobia is real #twitter

[vulpinesaint]

(post in question is a bugs bunny image that says “i wish all cishet aro men a very you belong”)

wow! what a normal thing to say! what a regular well adjusted thing to put in the comments of someone’s posts! sure glad we’re not being fucking FREAKS right now. my fucking GOD! genuinely what the fuck is wrong with you

#not even my fucking post why are you replying to this on my specific reblog of it. #god whattttt #anyway in case you didn’t know people never stopped being fucking freaks about aro people #i know we were quieter about it lately. but the last couple weeks have made people REAL bold #at least we’re all making it really clear rn that aro people are welcome in our spaces. right. #we’re all making sure we don’t allow bitches like this on our dash or our blogs or our spaces. right. #we’re making sure our aspec friends know we love them. right. #anyway cishet aro men i love you you’re doing great #reeling actually what makes you SAY shit like this!! jesus christ!!! #aphobia #valentine notes

[saaraofthesand]

Hate how fans use aroacespec identities as a headcanon cop out when a character is anti-social or not human or that fan just doesn’t ship them w anyone etc etc. Hate hate hate hate. As if that’s just how it works. As if no arospec or acespec people have ever been interested in long-term monogamous (and yes even sexual) relationships in the history of time. “Your headcanon of x character marrying y character is invalid because I personally headcanon x as aroace.” “How can z be x character’s child? X is ace!” Yeah? What if rip your stupid little headcanon out of your weakass grip, huh? What if I throw it on the ground and stomp on it? Spit on it too? How about that?

#gettin real tired of trying to get allos to listen to me #it’s the aphobia for me #yes this is about my trans rock lee theory where rock lee and gaara are secretly married #okay rant over #ace ace baby #aroace #arospec #acespec #asexual #aromantic

[spoonbendersanonymous]

This is a post about sex-repulsed aces.

Sex favorable aces exist and are just as ace as any other asexual. You can be ace and have the nastiest sex possible 25 times every week. People will then try to use that to invalidate these aces and tell them that they're not really ace or that aces as a whole don't exist or whatever, which is stupid and is objectively wrong. Attraction doesn't equal action. I'm clarifying this now to establish that sex positive aces are perfectly valid and this is absolutely not an attack on them.

In addition to positivity posts addressed specifically to sex positive aces, it would just also be cool to see more about sex-repulsed aces. It would be cool to also have messages aren't that aren't almost always 'See, aces fuck nasty like everyone else.' While a lot of aces do, not all of us do and it feels like some people are incredibly weird about it.

Not every ace is going to be up to handing out water bottles and orange slices at an orgy (ref: that one really popular ace positivity post) because not all of us are comfortable being around that. This doesn't mean we're sex negative or antisexual or want people to never ever have sex again because it's immoral or impure. It literally just means we're not comfortable being around something super explicitly sexual.

It also doesn't mean we'll burst into flames and die at the mention of one thing that's vaguely sexual, or that we're inhuman robots incapable of feeling anything, or that we're sick and need to be treated for something mentally or physiologically dysfunctional, or that we're innocent little children with no idea how anything in the world works, or that we're superhuman angels of purity that exist to make everyone who does like sex feel bad, or that we're inherently queerphobic bigots that think that queer sex is nasty and should never be depicted ever, or that we're inherently against people having kinks and think anything like that is perverted and deviant.

I've seen a lot of shit, a lot of it from inside the queer community, that's just blatant aphobia directed specifically at aces they don't like or understand. Aphobia of any kind towards any of us hurts all of us. I understand that a lot of the above beliefs are also often unconscious biases because of how society is built on the perception of sex as mandatory for everyone, but for the love of god PLEASE just recognize that sex repulsed aces are just people like everyone else. If you don't understand, ask legitimate questions in a respectful manner. If you're in a situation that involves sexual stuff and someone you're with is uncomfortable, let them have a way out of it like you should for literally everyone regardless of identity. My point is that we're people who want to be treated like people and it would be nice for sex-repulsed aces to also get some recognition sometimes.

#asexuality #ace #queer #tw aphobia #i understand this a big whole thing that didn't need to be written on tumblr #but also i've been real frustrated lately and wanted to say something about it somewhere

[voids-cave]

"Shipping characters who've explicitly said they don't wan't a partner is aphobic"

"Well- I'm asexual and I ship-"

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!

YOU'RE ASEXUAL, YOU MORRON, NOT AROMANTIC THEREFORE YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR US.

YOU DON'T HAVE OUR EXPERIENCES, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

#when the FUCK are asexuals going to get that them being in the fucking aspec doesn't mean you get to fucking speak on the side of the #spectrum THEY ARE FUCKING NOT. #like jesus fucking christ. #look dude im an aromantic ship enthusiast so i don't necessarily fully agree with the statement made #but i DO get where it's coming from. and it always is Endlessly annoying to see fucking ace ppl saying #im ace and im okay with you shipping this character who said romance disgust them :D #that isn't your experience. Shut The Fuck Up. YOU are not allowed to give anyone permission. #oh but you wanna know what IS real fucking aphobia? whatever the FUCK the hazbin fandom has going on w alastor #he's Canonically fucking Aroace #i don't like hazbin so i don't know the character but like cmon. you cannot fucking convince me that this dude would be Love-dovey #from what I've seen from him.

[lnkedmyheart]

Hi can we stop accusing people who ship their faves romantically of aphobia? Cause it's really silly and as an aroace bitch I get serious second hand embarrassment everytime someone whips out the aphobia card to drag people who like romantic shipping of characters.

#there is very real aphobia in the fandom #people enjoying a ship as romantic and qpr shipping not being that populat isn't one of thosr cases