#also apologies for my low output lately

[spinetrick]

a guilty man

#solar opposites #solar opposites spoilers #barely lol #jesse #terry #korvo #the halloween special was so good #possibly the sweetest korvo episode yet #he loves his family so much... #also apologies for my low output lately #ive been having joint issues that make it hard to draw and it's a pain in the ass

[strangunddurm]

The Cabin

Masterlist

Pairing: Clyde Logan x fem!reader

Word Count: 6.8k

Warnings: PinV sex, unprotected sex, self pleasure, fingering, masturbation, alcohol consumption.

Please accept my offering of my vision of mountain man Clyde.

A hike in the woods was meant to calm your mind and let you focus on yourself for a while; a sort of cheap alternative to going to a spa. However, you were anything but relaxed, and focused on everything except just yourself.

You were lost. Despite spending hours on YouTube trying to learn how to navigate, you had still taken the wrong turn and didn’t notice until it was too late. Thankfully it was the beginning of autumn, so it was still warm outside, and you didn’t need to start worrying about getting cold just yet, despite the sun slowly descending across the horizon.

The crappy phone which you had insisted didn’t need replacing had died long before you realized just how lost you were. You had a particularly bad habit of never charging your phone and it was coming back to bite you in the ass.

You had taken a, supposedly, easy trail. ‘Beginner friendly’ was the description your friend had given you when you asked for tips. You were cursing them mentally in your mind now, their definition of ‘beginner friendly’ was obviously vastly different from yours.

It had been hours, or at least it felt like it. You were steadily making your way through the granola bars you had packed. Your version of survivor mode consisted of trying to eat everything you could see due to anxiety, instead of saving it in case you’d be out here for hours.

It was the same rock you had passed a while back, you were sure of it, convinced that you were officially just walking in one big circle.

You hadn’t seen anyone else out on the trails which were surprising.; you figured trails were usually always packed with curious adventurers.

The snap of a branch pulled you out of your inner monologue, causing you to freeze and your heart to painfully contract in fear. You were sure that this was the moment you would die; a rabid coyote was surely bound to attack you at any moment. Were there even coyotes in West Virginia? You didn’t want to find out.

Turning around to see what it was that had made the sound wasn’t an option in your mind, it really wasn’t. Turning around would, in your mind, mean that you were accepting being mauled to death and despite your sometimes negative output you wanted to live for a while longer.

“Please, please, please don’t be a coyote… pleas-“ You let out a loud scream as a hand grabbed onto your shoulder, instinctively jabbing your elbow back to connect with the somewhat soft stomach of someone who was very much not a wild and crazed animal.

Whoever was behind you let out a low ‘ouff’ sound from your attack but did not seem overly affected otherwise.

“Sorry!” It was a man’s voice, judging from the deep tone of it. You whirled around whilst simultaneously attempting to take a step backwards, resulting in you falling to the ground ungracefully. There was definitely no chance you could run away from him now if he turned out to be less than friendly.

“Who are you?” You shuffled back against the ground, trying to put some distance between the two of you in naïve hope. The stranger, noticing your distress, put his hands out in front of him whilst taking a few steps back, increasing the distance between the two of you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare ye.” You surveyed him sceptically as he apologized. He looked like he was a nice person, but that only went so far, anyone had the ability to look nice. He blended into your surroundings, lacking the bright colours you were wearing; it was obvious that he did not share in your desire to want to be seen. He also looked like he was much more used to the woods than you were (not that it was hard).

“Are ye okay?” His question made you realize that you hadn’t replied, and you were still lying there like a seal on the ground. You stumbled up onto your feet with a huff, grabbing a stick that was laying by your hand just as you thrust yourself up.

It was a small stick, definitely incapable of causing serious bodily harm but you hoped that if you were desperate enough, it could poke out an eye. Or at least scratch it.

You held it out in front of you, wielding it like a sword. It was hard not to miss the smile that flew across the stranger’s face. You were most likely a funny sight, a flustered and oblivious city girl waving a twig. But you felt like King Arthur waving Excalibur and that was all that mattered. One lonely girl pumped full of adrenaline could do a lot of damage with a twig and a mean right hook.

“What do you want?” You spat. A tiny voice inside of you told you that you were being ridiculous. Here he was, a nice man probably just concerned over seeing you wander through the woods, obviously lost, so close to nightfall. But the devil on your other shoulder told you to trust no man, to kick him where the sun doesn’t shine and take off like a bat out of hell.

“I just wanted to see if ye were okay; it gets cold out here at night.” He still had his hands up like he was getting arrested. You considered his words carefully. You weren’t okay, you hadn’t planned on staying out until nightfall. All you were going to do was hike to the top of the mountain and go back down, but apparently, you were too incompetent to even perform that simple task.

“I called out a couple of times, but ye didn’t seem to hear me.”

“Oh,” You dropped the twig at the revelation. It explained a lot; you were after all notorious for getting lost in your thoughts and turning deaf.

“Sorry.” You said sheepishly as you lowered the stick to your side but still grasped it tightly (just in case). You sent him a small apologetic smile even though you didn’t owe him one.

“So, do ye need help?”

“Hmm…” Did you need help? You glanced around you, surveying your surroundings again. It was a lot closer to dark than you were comfortable with. The granola bars were all gone, you didn’t have anything warmer on than the fleece jacket you had dug out from the back of your closet. You had no way of contacting anyone and you were not competent enough to build anything close to a working shelter for the night.

You eyed him again as you thought over your answer. He seemed nice enough, he reminded you slightly of a big, burly bear. He was a behemoth of a man, standing tall and wide with dark hair and eyes, but there was some kindness there that made you feel as if you could trust him.

The thing that eventually won you over was his hand, it was obviously a prosthetic now that you were focusing on him. You hoped that a prosthetic hand meant that it was much less likely that he could grab a firm hold on you.

-

Clyde Logan wasn’t a very talkative man. If you were to google ‘mountain man’ he would pop up as one of the image results. The modern version of course, accompanied by the usual camo gear. You had always had a weakness for the lumberjack flannels and the thick moustache that tickled his lips had you wondering what it would look like drenched in your juices.

But it would be stupid attempting to seduce the grumpy man that had saved you from certain death, right?

He knew so much about the woods and the dangers that were surrounding you, making you realize just how stupid you were to be out there alone. But of course, he didn’t offer you all of this information on his own. No, you had to practically force the words out of his mouth, but thankfully you were the Master of Babble, and he was eventually forced to answer if he ever wanted you to shut up.

You were making your way to his cabin that was apparently just over a mile away. Clyde was leading the way with you practically walking on his heels trying to keep up with his long strides and sneaking looks over your shoulder in paranoia to see if anyone was following the two of you.

Clyde had said that it was too late to return to your car seeing how late it was. Apparently, you had walked in the completely wrong direction from the start and were now a couple of miles away from civilization. He had graciously offered you a sleeping spot in his cabin over the night with a promise to help you back first thing in the morning.

It was picturesque, Clyde’s cabin. Nothing less than what you expected of the man, and surprisingly a lot cleaner than what you had assumed from stereotyping.

“This is so cute!” You admired, sending a small smile up to Clyde with a tilt of your head. He almost looked embarrassed over your praise, only responding with a small huff as he took his shoes off and walking toward the kitchen area.

It was a studio type of situation. Everything was in one room: the small kitchenette, tv-area, and makeshift bedroom. Clyde had flipped a switch which turned on a light that illuminated the entire cabin in a soft glow.

“There’s a bathroom over there.” Clyde gestured to a door on the left, and you couldn’t help peaking in. You hadn’t expected a fully functional bathroom at all, seeing how you were in the middle of nowhere but here it was. And you were so grateful. Going potty in the woods was not on your bucket list.

“Are ye hungry? It’s nothin’ much but I have some sandwiches that we can eat.” Clyde ran his fingers through his hair as he asked the question nervously when you came over after your brief tour of the cabin.

“A sandwich would be great, thank you!” You took it gratefully from his hand as he offered it to you before plopping down on the couch.

You were a lot hungrier than you had though. Your stomach rumbled loudly as you unwrapped the sandwich and taking a bite.

“Have you had this for long?” You said after you had finished chewing your first bite, gesturing with your hand wildly to the cabin.

“Couple of years.” Clyde didn’t look at you as he responded, focused intently on his own sandwich.

He left it at that, not elaborating any further and you didn’t want to cross the obvious boundary he had drawn, so you stayed quiet.

You were never good with silence and awkward situations. When others were perfectly comfortable with silence you just had to talk. Googled had diagnosed it as a symptom of anxiety but you had never actually built enough courage up to actually have a evaluation.

“Do you like to read?” You had taken notice of the overflowing bookcase he had. It was hard not to, it was perhaps the biggest piece of furniture he had, spanning the length of an entire wall.

“Mhmm” Honestly, the hums he would do to answer your questions made you soaked.

“What’s your favourite?” He looked as if he was considering your question, leaning back into his seat and looking up at the ceiling for a moment.

“It would have to be In Search for Lost Time by Marcel Proust.”

“I love that book.”

“Is that so?” You nodded your head with wide eyes, happy to have found a subject to talk about. You loved books, yes, but to be honest you had never read that book. But you were hoping you could wing it enough so that Clyde wouldn’t notice.

“What’s your favourite part?” Okay, so maybe you hadn’t thought it through. You couldn’t hide the small wince you did at his question.

It would’ve been better to have said nothing at all, you just really wanted Clyde to like you. You didn’t know why; it wasn’t like you were ever going to see him again. It was just that there was something about him that made you want to kneel and say, ‘please daddy’ and you didn’t know how to get there with someone so reluctant to talk.

“Ye tryin’ to impress me?” He must be a mind reader.

“Oh, no I just-“ You trailed off, unsure over what to say that would not make you seem as desperate.

He stood up, watching you as he made his way around the room, but he wasn’t moving toward you; instead, he disappeared through the front door without a word.

You deflated like a balloon as the door shut behind him, sinking into the cushions and cursing yourself. Why were you so desperate to impress people? The answer was simple because you were you and you had an irrational need for people having to like you.

-

Clyde wasn’t gone for long. He had simply gone out to fill up on the firewood for the fireplace that you had neglected to notice before.

“It’s supposed to get below 30 here tonight.” Was it rude to say that you were impressed with how easily he did things despite only having one hand? It wasn’t that you expected him to not be able to function at all, it’s just that you were barely functioning yourself with two hands.

It had already started getting just a tiny bit colder, enough for you to have curled your legs onto the couch, leaning on the armrest with a blanket thrown over you. The cold was a fiend that you would never get along with.

“I’m sorry.”

“What are ye sorry for?” He looked truly bewildered over your words, stopping what he was doing and looking up at you from his crouched position.

“I shouldn’t have lied.”

“’S okay.” He continued with starting a fire. “We’ve all told a white lie.”

“That’s true, but I’m usually better at playing it off.” You joked and he shared a chuckle with you.

It was cozy once Clyde got the fire started. He turned off the lamp in the ceiling, muttering something about preserving a battery, opting to turn on another by the bed and then settled back down. He was sitting next to you this time, not across from you in the chair as previously. You could practically feel the heat radiating from his skin, he was so close. The couch was small, only a two-seater, but you suppose that he didn’t need much more seeing how he was only one person.

Clyde crowded your personal space. It felt like he was everywhere around you, suffocating you (but in the best way). He slung his arm over the back of the couch, just barely grazing your back. You were surprised with how forward he was being but decided not to question it too much, figuring he might take it wrong and shy away.

“Yer not from ‘round here are ye?”

“Is it so obvious?” Of course, it was obvious. You told him where you lived and there seemed to be a small glint of recognition in his eyes.

“Ye should get a guide next time, one of the rangers will take ye for free.” It was surprising how caring he seemed to be.

“One of the rangers?” You didn’t want a ranger to show you around the next time.

“Mhmm”

“Can’t you take me?” You diverted your eyes from his face as you asked the question, feigning being shy. You let them trace down his sculptured-by-God body, double-checking for a ring on one of his fingers. There was none, or well you assumed that it wasn't a wedding ring. It didn't look like one, it had more of a class ring vibe to it.

Clyde didn’t respond immediately. He was studying you, analyzing every crevice of your face it seemed like.

It was impossible not to get lost in his eyes. You tried really hard not to at first but gave up way too quickly. You wondered if he knew just how attractive he was. He had to have several ladies running after him, desperate for a getaway in his cabin in the woods.

“Do ye want me to?” He finally asked. It was obvious that he had tensed up at your question. His back was rigid, he was sitting as straight as you had ever seen a person sit.

“Maybe…” You were subconsciously leaning closer toward him, inhaling as much of his sent as you could discreetly. It was very vampire-like of you.

He smelled just as you thought he would. Like pine trees. There was just the smallest undertone of sweat and it drove you wild. It wasn’t usually your scent of choice for obvious reasons but on Clyde… On Clyde it was as if he had been doused in some kind of pheromones that made you completely drenched and mad with want.

You thankfully stopped yourself before you could release the moan that was bubbling in your throat. Who in their right mind moaned to a stranger that they hadn’t even touched over the way they smelled? (Only counting people that weren’t high or drunk, of course).

It was a battle getting you to lean away from Clyde again, but the rational part of your brain thankfully won. You had to dig your nails into your thighs, trying to pinch yourself through the fabric of your pants to bring you back to reality and gain some self-control.

“I’ll take you.” He promised with a nod, looking as serious as always. You wondered if he always wore that expression with everyone. You hadn’t been able to coax a lot of smiles out of him, despite categorizing yourself as a fairly hilarious person and having cracked some jokes on the walk to the cabin.

You sent him a small smile in response, feeling relieved not to have been rejected. That would’ve been embarrassing.

He surveyed you for a while more before finally asking if you wanted a drink.

-

The makeshift bar cabinet that he had was surprisingly well-stocked. Too well-stocked for him to be a raging alcoholic. You questioned him curiously about it. Finding out that he was a bartender was a welcomed surprise. You challenged him to make a drink you had never heard of, and he was quick to deliver.

It was delicious, making it easy to pay him compliments over his talent.

“I own a bar, ‘s called Duck Tape.” It was clear that he was proud over his business, with the way his chest seemed to almost swell with his words.

You told him about your own job, not exactly sharing the same enthusiasm seeing how your job was one of the main reasons for why you needed a stress-relieving hike in the first place.

You’d always been a lightweight. It was no secret; you had an uncanny ability to be able to get hammered on one glass of alcohol. Google told you that it could have something to do with your liver, but you did not want to go to the hospital to find out.

You neglected to think about this small fact when you asked Clyde to make you a drink and you were now suffering the consequences. You were drunk, or at least somewhere over the border of tipsy.

Clyde seemed to have relaxed from the alcohol as well. He was much freer in letting a laugh leave his body which had caused you to jump at first in surprise at the boisterous sound.

He had shuffled closer to you, or was it you that had shuffled closer to him? It had happened without either of the two of you noticing but you didn’t try to move away once you did.

You didn’t speak about anything of significance, not really. It was all nonsense, but you never wanted it to stop. Eventually, you mutually decided that sleep was a necessity if you were going to have the energy to get back to your car in the morning.

“Ye can take the bed if ye want.” Clyde motioned over the back of the couch toward the bed in the corner of the room. You glanced over at it, gnawing at your lip as you considered his proposal. Would it be inappropriate to say that you wanted him to share the bed with you?

The bed was too small for it to be shared in any way that wasn’t intimate which was exactly what you wanted.

You assumed that Clyde was as interested in you as you were of him. His hand was dangerously close to your knee as it sat on the seat of the sofa; if he moved his finger less than an inch it would graze your skin.

“Where would you sleep?” You feigned innocent.

“I’ll take the couch.” He knew what you were doing; you could see it in his eyes. They had grown even darker than before and were hooded as they watched you. It was easy to get lost in them, they were the most expressive eyes you had ever seen.

Both of you knew that neither of you would sleep on the couch that night.

There was a flurry of hands and all of a sudden you were in his lap, grinding down, lips connected to one another.

Clyde was a great kisser. Scratch that. He was amazing. He knew exactly how to make you completely drenched from just a few nibbles and strokes of his tongue against your own. He was a natural (Or a player, but you somehow got the impression that he didn’t lure innocent people to his cabin on the regular for a quick lay).

You could feel how hard he was despite the layers separating his bulge from your core. Hard and large and it made you dizzy to think about.

Clyde was taking his time running his hands up and down your waist, his right hand grabbing here and there, never moving under your shirt despite your obvious eagerness. A roll of his hips elicited a moan from you.

Your own hands weren’t shy in their movements; they were grasping onto his broad shoulders, holding on to the fabric as you tried to pull him closer to you.

He separated his lips from yours with a chuckle.

“Eager, are we?” His crooked grin was panty-dropping worthy.

He trailed his lips down your neck before you could reply, suckling gently over your pulse point.

The moan he pulled from you echoed around the room as you tilted your head to the side, allowing him more room to roam.

Your hands tighten their hold on his shoulders. You had always been extra sensitive around the neck and the combination of his lips and the tickle from his moustache was enough to send you into overdrive.

“Clyde…” You breathed out his name shakily, feeling tingles start to travel from your hands and up your arms from the excitement.

He hoisted you up surprisingly quickly from the sofa, causing you to let out a shriek in surprise.

He was strong. Of course, he was strong, you shouldn’t have expected anything else but still…

He carried you toward the bed, setting you down unceremoniously on the edge. You had to grab a hold of the sheet so as not to fall over.

“I want you to strip.” There was no room for arguing in his voice, and it was exactly what you needed. You didn’t want to have to think about your actions.

He was watching you intently, waiting for you to do as you were told, causing you to frantically reach for the zip of your fleece, pulling it down your arms and then throwing it mindlessly away from you.

Your shirt was the next thing that came off. Clyde’s gaze followed as your shirt revealed more and more skin. You didn’t miss the way he bit his lip hungrily.

Your bra wasn’t perhaps the sexiest thing you owned but you weren’t exactly expecting to be in the situation you were when you headed out that morning.

The bra joined the other items a bit slower. You wanted to drag it out; was it mean that you wanted him to have to suffer just a tiny bit?

You were basking in his obvious admiration of your body as you slowly slid the pants down and stepped out of them, leaving you in just your socks and underwear.

Perhaps it wasn’t the sexiest you had ever looked, but it was the sexiest you had ever felt, and that was the important part.

“Panties too.” He had started palming himself through his pants, huffing out small groans of satisfaction here and there. It had made you drenched and you did not doubt that it was obvious to him just how aroused you were.

You were finally standing there in front of him, completely bare, socks and panties having been removed. His eyes ran over every inch and crevice of you that was visible in the low light.

He was still fully dressed, having just unbuttoned his pants so that he could force his hand down to tug at himself.

“I want you to lay down and touch yourself.” Touch yourself? Couldn’t he do it? You opened your mouth to argue but one look from Clyde made you snap your mouth shut again.

The comforter was soft against your skin as you laid down on your back. You were shy as you separated your legs just enough so that you could slip your hand in between your legs.

The first touch was electric. You had never felt such a reaction from simply touching yourself. Sure, you were an expert in getting yourself off, but it never felt quite like this, not this good from so little.

You circled your bud, applying just the right pleasure that caused you to moan. Your eyes fluttered shut involuntarily, getting lost in the feeling building in your belly.

“Open yer eyes.” He had moved closer, a lot closer, with surprising stealth as you hadn’t heard even a low scuffle of feet. His eyes were commanding the attention of your own as he scolded you.

You withdrew your hand automatically from yourself, moving it up to rest on your belly, thinking that he must want you to stop. You were wrong, however, for his eyes snapped down to watch it and he scolded you once again.

“I didn’t tell ye to stop.” He only moved away once more when he was satisfied with your continued movements.

He walked over to the single chair by the living room table, dragging it with him back over to the bed, placing it by the end where he would get just the right view of you working yourself.

He pulled his pants down before sitting down with a huff. He had gone commando. You let out a whimper of need at the sight.

Clyde Logan was the owner of the most perfect cock you had ever seen. It was so heavy that it had barely been able to bob against his stomach, despite his sitting position.

You arched your neck, trying to get a closer look. It was swollen and huge and pink at the tip. His thumb was working over the head, smearing the precum that had leaked out.

“Ye stopped.” It was a statement, and he didn’t need to give you further instructions for you to once again start moving your hand between your legs.

You let it travel further down this time, to collect some of your wetness with two fingers before bringing it up to your mouth and tasting yourself. Sweet and tangy.

Clyde didn’t make a single sound to let you know if he was affected by your actions, so all you could do was assume that he was, and that was enough to spur you on.

You brought your hand back down, inserting a finger slowly, testing the waters. You were more than ready, your walls giving way easily to the intrusion.

A second soon joined the first and you set a steady rhythm, pumping them in and out with a squelch as your walls clenched around your digits. Your other palm came up to massage at your breast, twisting the nipple between your fingertips.

Your chest heaved with your moans that were penetrating the air. It was hard keeping your eyes open with the overwhelming pleasure you were feeling but you had to stay focus, you didn’t want to miss a second of seeing Clyde slumped from the pleasure of his touch as he fucked into his hand.

“I want ye to make yerself cum.” You were more than happy to give in to this demand. Your fingers were moving urgently inside of you, and your other hand moved on from your breast, coming down to pinch at your clit and then rub tight small circles over it.

The heat that had been steadily building inside of you, blossoming in your stomach, was slowly taking over your entire body now. Your toes were beginning to curl, and you were fighting your eyes from rolling backwards in your head.

And then, it all became too much for you and you let go and the best part of it all rolled over you like tidal waves, washing through you, soaking you with that post-orgasmic glow.

You let your fingers slowly slip out of you, letting your arms fall to your sides as you watched Clyde get up. You didn’t know if he had come, having been too focused on yourself, but it didn’t matter, he still stood at full attention.

Your mouth practically frothed at the sight of him, you could turn rabid from the need that you had for him. A whine slipped out of your mouth, an arm lifting up to reach out for him, needing to touch him.

He came close enough so that your fingers could just barely brush against the fabric of his pants that he still insisted on having on.

Rage took over your body. It was an irrational rage, why did he still have them on? You wanted them off and you wanted them off now. You had to see him, all of him, before you went insane from the deprivation. Was it even possible? To lose your mind over not getting to see another person naked? You certainly thought so.

You sat up, leaning on one of your shoulders as you looked up at him with a glare on your face.

“Take them off.” He was thoroughly amused by your attempt at a demand. You didn’t achieve quite the same rumble in your tone that he had which left no room for arguing, but still, he conceded and pushed the pants down his legs until they were low enough to be kicked off.

His shirt followed soon after, almost hitting you in the face as he threw it carelessly toward the corner of the bed.

You couldn’t help but admire him. A work of art, good enough to be hung in the Met, that was for sure.

You got on your knees in front of him, the height from the bed aiding you in being just tall enough so that you could place kisses on his chest- You placed the first one in the middle, right over his sternum whilst looking up at him.

Your eyes stayed locked as you planted another kiss over his heart, the next on his right pec, and so forth. They circled around one of his nipples, letting your teeth give it a small nibble before pulling it with you just a bit before releasing it and letting it revert to its original state, hard as a rock.

It was starting to get more and more obvious just how affected Clyde was getting, his arousal much more prominent, if that was even possible. You could feel it against your skin, you didn’t want to touch it just yet, dragging it out for as long as you could.

You enjoyed watching him become more and more flustered by your actions. His chest was heavy with each audible breath, cock tapping against your lower stomach, begging to be touched, but you kept your hands away. They were holding on to his thighs, caressing them in small movements that were making their way toward his cock at snail pace.

“Ye gon’ tease me all night?” You let out a laugh at the ridiculous accusation. If anybody had been the one to tease, it was Clyde.

“Are you going to tease me all night?” You threw the question back at him, biting your lip with an innocent smile.

He growled. He actually growled and you could feel how it caused a trickle to roll down your leg.

“Didn’t yer mammy or daddy ever teach ye not to talk back?”

“They didn’t actually” His eyes had steadily grown darker and darker as the evening progressed and were now on the border of black.

He smashed your lips together, grabbing a hold of your face with his right hand with a bruising grip. He kissed and nipped at your lips before pulling back and pushing you back onto the bed.

He was quick to follow you onto the bed as he guided you to lay on your back, spread eagle, with him kneeling between your legs. His hands were on his hips as he watched you. You squirmed under his gaze, trying to create some type of friction anywhere that would aid in bringing you closer to another release.

His kisses started on your inner knee, building their way up at a torturous pace. He didn’t leave a kiss between your legs; instead, he just hovered there so you could feel his hot breath tickle you before continuing.

You were practically sobbing for more when he finally made it to your lips.

“Please, you have to…”

“I have t’ what?” He looked completely serious as he looked down at you, balanced on one hand. He was expecting an answer from you, and you didn’t know what to say. You obviously wanted him to fuck you but for some reason, you were too shy to say it.

“Mhm… thought so,” He hummed before dropping down to his elbows pressing his entire body onto you.

You could feel all of him. His skin was electric against your own and you could feel his length brushing over your clit. He rolled his hips in a small wave and you arched your back from the moan that escaped you.

It had all built up so much that the smallest touch from him could cause you to completely fall apart, despite the orgasm you had had. It was because it was different when Clyde was the one that touched you; your own touch was nowhere near adequate in comparison.

He rolled his hips again, this time applying just a bit more pressure and you couldn’t help but to widen and draw up your legs slightly, wanting to give him easier access.

“I didn’t tell ye tha’ ye could move.” You were trembling from need at his words. You needed more; couldn’t he understand that?

You were reluctant as you started to bring your legs back down, but he (thankfully) hooked his left arm around your leg, stopping its descent. He hoisted it up to rest by the side of his hip as he simultaneously sat back upon his haunches.

“Do ye need me inside of ye?” Your head had started nodding before he could even finish the sentence, causing a wicked smile to spread across his face.

“I need t’ be inside of ye too.” They were the most glorious words you had ever heard.

His right hand gave a tug at his cock, but it didn’t need any more preparation. It was hard and as ready for you as you were him. He grabbed a hold of base, stabilizing it as he dragged it through your sweet and slickened folds before slowly slipping inside.

Your walls easily gave way for him as he finally pushed in due to your overflowing arousal. He stretched you as wide as you would go with little pain and raw pleasure. You were clenched tightly around him, walls squeezing him in a vice grip, trying to draw him in even deeper.

You could feel yourself grow more and more manic in your need as he sunk deeper and deeper into you. It was as if all other senses had disappeared and all you could focus on was his powerful thrusts that were drilling into you.

He kept your right leg at his hips, whilst his other hand was hoisting your left over his shoulder after just a few deep thrusts.

You choked from the warmth that spread through your body from this position. He was deeper than you even knew you could take him. The head of his cock tapping at your cervix with every drilling thrust but there was no pain, only excruciating pleasure that made tears leak from your eyes from happiness.

The carnal need was as fervent within Clyde as it was you. He couldn’t take it slow; his thrusts were forceful and intent on driving you to your next orgasm as quickly as he could.

“Fuck, ye feel good.” Clyde hissed. “Such a sweet an’ tight little pussy.”

Your eyes could barely focus on him, only catching small glimpses of him with his hair plastered to his forehead from the moisture that was collected there. Your hands were grasping onto the duvet, needing something to hold onto in desperation.

His thrusts were precise and well calculated; he hit that spot inside of you over and over again that made you let out guttural moans.

But he enjoyed torturing you and he suddenly came to a halt, retracting from you completely.

“Move over.” He helped to guide you in your haze. Your own movements were thankfully still quick despite your barely lucid mind as you shuffled to the side, and he laid down on the bed.

Clyde’s hand was supporting his base, helping it stand tall, ready for you to penetrate yourself onto it. You threw your leg over his hips to straddle him. You hovered over his cock, looking down to see how you were dripping on to him.

You didn’t stay there for too long before mounting yourself onto it, dropping down with a pant as you engulfed him within you.

The pace you set was frantic, chasing climax. Your hands came down to rest on his chest to better help you push yourself up and down his cock. The sound of your skin slapping against his echoed around the room, driving your wild.

He was a sight for sore eyes underneath you. Lost in the madness and wild from it all. His desire and pleasure were so clear on his face from the way his mouth was parted and the way his eyes admired you, following your every movement.

He used his right hand to help you ram down onto him again and again.

You got on your feet, gaining better leverage than you had had before on your knees, bouncing up and down. You were so, so close; you could feel your orgasm simmering there underneath the surface, you just needed a small push to get there. And Clyde delivered that small push.

“Yer such a good girl, takin’ me so well. You just love bein’ fucked, don’t ye?”

Your walls clamped down on him, legs shaking as you came to a stop, being unable to continue as you fell forward onto his chest, overwhelmed by the pleasure that filled your body.

He received you in his arms, letting his hand caress over your spine as you continued to slightly convulse from your orgasm.

“Such a good girl” He crooned in your ear with a kiss and tug on your lobe.

Clyde wasn’t as sweet when he pinned both your arms to your sides with one of his, holding you in place as he started slamming his hips up into you, chasing his own pleasure.

The sounds that came out of your as he rammed himself in over and over again were indistinguishable. You were gushing around him, your entire body vibrating from another orgasm, but he still didn’t let up. His hips were starting to stutter, however, thrusts being off-pace as he pounded into you.

And then a sharp thrust was accompanied by a husky cry as he ejected deep inside of you. He managed to pump into you a few more times as your walls milked him, your mixed climaxes collecting at his base.

You were exhausted, unable to move so he stayed there, deep inside of you as he grew flaccid.

You thought it was a fuck for the history books.

#clyde smut #clyde logan fanfiction #clyde logan x you #clyde logan #clyde #clyde x reader #clyde logan smut #clyde logan x reader #adcu fanfic #adcu fic rec #adam driver #adcu community #adcu fanfiction #adam driver character #adcu #oneshot

[petri808]

Bakudeku canon divergent, vampire quirk AU

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

For the next several days, Bakugou stopped in towns along the train route that were in the easterly direction to see if any other strange reports had been made. He wasn’t sure if the first man’s attack had anything to do with his friend, but in the towns, he was able to confirm a sighting of a green streak, there were coinciding reports of attacks in the days preceding them. Always a similar story, late at night, didn’t see the attacker, and bite wounds on various parts of the body such as the arm, shoulder, or even neck. The other thing they had in common, were the victims were found in drunken stupors. Was it a coincidence? What was another coincidence, is after the first victim, the rest were all what police classified as problems. With or without quirks, they were bad men who had lists of crimes under their belts. That meant whatever was causing the attacks now appeared to have a specific target.

Bakugou stood in the Ena township police station, tapping his foot to release some of the pent-up energy. “Yesterday,” he questioned the desk sergeant, “are you telling me that attack was just yesterday evening?”

The man nodded. “The victim is still in the hospital being treated for low blood levels. They’ve had to keep him sedated through the IV infusions because he wouldn’t stop screaming about a man with green eyes.”

“And there’s no other incidences?” The officer shook his head. “That means the attacker could still be here.”

“Wait, do you know who it is?”

Bakugou shook his head no. He wasn’t about to tell some beat cop who he suspected it could be. “It’s just based off the pattern I’ve been tracking. There are usually a few attacks over the spans of one to three days, and then they just end. So, if this was the first, it means there will be more.”

After speaking with the cops and getting a map for the area of the latest attack, Bakugou staked out the scene. There are no traces left behind to say who or what had caused the attacks, but what he did notice of the area is it was a seedy side of town. The victim said he’d been pulled off the main street into an adjoining alley way around 1 am, too quickly to even get a scream out. He remembered the time because the bar he’d just left had hit its closing time. The alley was narrow, and empty save for a few dumpsters for neighboring shops, no doorways or lighting, perfect for hiding in.

‘Tonight, is still a new moon…’ Bakugou noted, which added to the dark cover of night. After his reconnaissance, he went back to his tiny hotel room to get a few hours of sleep. It was going to be a long night.

It was a decision he didn’t know if he would come to regret someday, but in the end, the blonde hero realized that his flashier costume would make him stand out way too easily. So, after foregoing his costume, Bakugou dressed all in black for the undercover work. He climbed to the roof of a building, dead center of the area the attacker might choose in the hopes that the green lightning seen by eyewitnesses will be the tell-tale sign he’ll be able to use to track the person. Patience wasn’t exactly his virtue, but it was the only way he was gonna catch the guy.

The first night’s stakeout yielded nothing. No sightings, no attacks. Which could mean anything or nothing. Previous attacks didn’t always take place every night in a row, but it could also mean the attacker had moved on. Did they catch-wind of him being there and fled? Damn he hoped not! This was the closest he’d come to catching up to the green lightning! Two nights later, Bakugou was growing disillusioned. Every day he checked back with the authorities to make sure no other sightings had been made in town or in surrounding cities, and with the answer being ‘no’ each time, there was a small glimmer of hope he was still in the right place at the right time.

But as he laid on a rooftop on the night of day 4, a lot of thoughts were plaguing him because there was nothing to do while waiting but think. Sometimes he would run the events of that AFO fight though his mind trying to remember any little details that may help him. Other times, it would be about Midoriya and what could have possibly made the man run off like this. Those thought’s either left him broken or wanting to strangle the guy for causing them so much pain. Midoriya better damn well be ready to do a hell of a lot of apologizing to their friends and family!

Bakugou grimaced at the last thought. Such personal emotions he would rather lock away into some box deep within the recesses of his soul than to admit the truth. He told himself he was doing this for their friends. He tried to convince himself that he was doing this for aunty Inko and to make All Might proud. These were a part of the search, yes… but not the full reason. The blonde had to admit he missed the stupid nerd. Midoriya was his childhood friend, and no matter how much shit he gave the guy, he was the one person he could count on. He was still determined to beat the mouse and become the Number one hero… but he was also proud of how far Midoriya had come in the last three years. It would be a shame for it all to be thrown away now.

Just as he was ready to call it a night, Bakugou heard a muffled scream from a nearby street. He rushed over as quickly as possible, racing into the alley way just as the unconscious victim’s body is being laid down. Bloody hell he was right all along!

“DEKU?!”

All he could see was the person’s back, but he’d know those red shoes anywhere. The mousy green hair looked even wilder than normal. Midoriya still had on his costume, but it was torn up with a raggedy cloak swaddling his upper body. Simply put, his friend looked like a homeless man off the streets. The figure froze for a second, then without turning to face off against Bakugou immediately flashed with green and took off into the sky. Green lightning!

“DEKU YOU, FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!” Bakugou blasted off after the man. Damn it, his gear would have helped with the propulsion! He couldn’t remember him being so quick before, what the hell was going on? Midoriya was streaking away, zigzagging along roof tops, and heading towards a section of industrial warehouses. If it wasn’t for the quirks electrical output to tell him where to go, he could easily lose sight in the darkness.

He gritted his teeth and pushed his quirk to its limit. There was no way Bakugou was going to screw up this opportunity. So, if he couldn’t catch up, he could knock the nerd out of the sky! “ARRGHH!!!” He sent repeated AP-Auto shots towards Midoriya at medium power, growing angrier as the man dodged the first few volleys. “THAT’S IT!!!!” In his rage, Bakugou increased the spread like buck shots of crackling fire ringing around the fleeing figure, and he kept up the pace in rapid succession.

“AHHHHH!”

The scream pierced the night and Bakugou saw several hits knock the man off course, barreling the body straight for the ground. It wasn’t his intention to hurt, but damn it, Midoriya shouldn’t have run in the first place! He turned on the turbo and reached the man just as he was trying to get back on his feet.

“Don’t fucking think about it!” Bakugou grabbed the man’s shoulder and whipped him around. “Goddamn it Deku! What the fuck is your problem?!”

“K-Kacchan, wh-wh—”

“Don’t you Kacchan me, you bastard!” He gripped tightly so that Midoriya can’t squirm away easily. “Did you think I wouldn’t come looking for you idiot!”

“Yes.”

It was as if the wind had been knocked out of him. Okay, he should be surprised by that answer. When had he ever acted like he cared when it came to Midoriya? But that didn’t mean such a quick and blunt response wouldn’t hit him like a brick to the head. And you know what, he has shown he cared in his own way. Damn it! When has he ever just left the man behind? His fist balled up and cocked back, striking Izuku hard on the chin and sending him back to the ground. “Stupid fuck!” Bakugou spat the words out before dropping to his knees on top of the man. “I ought ‘a beat the crap out of you right now for even thinking that!”

But Midoriya shoved back trying to push the man off. “What the fuck are you talking about?! You don’t give a shit about me, never have! When the hell did you start caring?!” He kicked and twisted, fighting the larger male. “Get the fuck off me! I can’t stay here!”

“You are coming home with me Deku whether you like it or not!”

“NOOOOOO!!!” Midoriya activated his quirk up to 70% and bucked Bakugou off him. “It’s too dangerous, Kacchan just get away from me!” He took a stance to spring himself back into the air, but the blonde scrambled and jumped on top of him, pushing him back to the ground. “Get off, I don’t want to hurt you!” Midoriya screamed. This was getting out of control. Exhausting so much energy on Bakugou was stirring up his hunger and if that happened, he didn’t know if he could control himself.

“What the fuck ya gonna do, drink my blood too? What the hell is going on with you Deku?! Goddamn it tell me what the fuck happened in that forest!”

“Y-You know about that?”

“How do you think I tracked your ass down?!”

The pain is his stomach was rising fast. Midoriya winced as the rush of blood sounded off in his ears and other tell-tale signs progressively made its entrance. This was not good! “Kacchan please,” his voice whined and pleaded through the aching throb in his core, “let me go before something happens.”

“I don’t care what it takes Deku, I can’t lose you again.”

“I-I’m so sorry Kacchan.”

Bakugou’s eyes widen as he saw a dark red sheen enveloping the whites of Midoriya’s eyes. Is this what happened when he’d attacked all those men?

Every last nerve was fighting against control. It was an option Midoriya didn’t want to use, but if he could control it just a little longer, all he wanted to do was give himself a head start. “Please,” he begged one more time, “just forget about me Kacchan.”

“Get it through your fucking head! I’M NOT LEAVING YOU!”

That was the last thing Bakugou remembered…

#bakudeku #katsudeku #bakudeku fan fic #bkdk #ktdk #bakudeku fan fiction #bakudeku canon divergent au #vampire quirk #decchan #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku

[mainviper]

can you do a soviper hc with a cute moment after a mission which one of them tried to save another? pls

Am I late ? Yes! Did I wrote this after seing @ad-1812 art on Soviper ? Yes! Was it worth it ? You tell me, anon...

Sova x Viper - Undercover

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

When Brimstone signed them on for the mission, Sova didn't think it would be so easy to forget her goal, but by the time Viper entered the room, her focus had shifted completely.

In another universe, who knows, this date would really happen ... She would be wearing the same black dress and he would be in the same dark suit that favored him so much (at least that's what Killjoy said while passing him the lens to camouflage his bionic eye).

The initiator took a deep breath, but regretted it as soon as he did, because the controller 's scent quickly provoked him, mocking his feelings and making him thirsty.

Viper on the other hand was extremely focused, not daring to look at her colleague. Avoiding any kind of contact as much as possible and wondering if she would be able to end the night without regretting having agreed to this farce.

- Let's go over the information, Viper.

- We are a couple of investors, celebrating our anniversary and big fans of Mr. K.

- Sabine, try not to mention how stupid you think that nickname is.

- I think he's completely stupid and despicable, but that's okay I'll do my best.

- That's how I like it! Sova?

- The plan is to talk to him long enough to listen to the meeting he will have later with the scientists from the Kingdom.

- And if everything goes wrong ? Viper ?

- We call you.

- Without fighting back?

- Without fighting back.

- I'll let you finish getting ready and then I'll take you to the restaurant.

The door closed and they fell into comfortable silence. Viper tried to understand the things Killjoy and Raze had prepared them to wear and while she read, she fixed her snake earrings and Sova checked if they weren’t forgetting anything. The fact that the domestic scene sounded so familiar to both of them didn’t go unnoticed, seeing the woman beside him hand over his fake ring was also painfully ironic.

For the first time, she turned and Sova could see her back fully exposed, this was already becoming torture. A chill went up his body, like a danger signal, forcing him to shake his head to avoid any inappropriate thoughts. His blood froze when he heard what she said next :

- Do you trust me ?

This was not what he expected, not by far. Perhaps a sarcastic comment or warning, but that question caught him off guard.

-Y-Yes.

- We’re about to enter a building completely guarded by Kingdom, even if it looks like a fancy restaurant on the roof of a building: Make no mistake.

- Right.

- We will not have any kind of communication with the outside, as soon as we enter we will leave our wiretaps aside. They will search us, they are suspicious of everything and everyone, so don’t mention specific things or the name of anyone in the protocol at any time.

- And how are we going to call for backup?

She turned to him, there was a certain irritation in her eyes but also a certain fear. Oh. They wouldn't call for backup. The two had to work together or they could die.

- It’s the safest way for the protocol and I know that an important meeting like this cannot come that easy for us.

Sova knew that the information was essential for the end of this war between worlds, to obtain answers and to help in the researches that Valorant did.

- We need a subject then, a goal for this dinner.

Viper smiled, knowing that the hunter would never let her down. The two had this strange dynamic of always knowing what the other need, whether on the battlefield or on the way to death at a fatal dinner.

- Yes, forget that happy couple thing. We need something credible and that will excuse the attention of anyone who tries to listen to us.

- What if it was the opposite ?

- A couple who hate each other? Interesting.

- Tired of each other ...

- Keeping the flame burning in the midst of discussions ...

This time the initiator smiled, perhaps enjoying the make-believe too much. They had little time and so they walked to the door together, discussing their past and false present.

- And how you love to make me suffer.

° • °

They went down a block behind the Hotel where the dinner was to take place. One of the entrances led to the kitchen and the other to the hall. Upon entering the building, the two kept only to their cell phones. Discarding almost all of the equipment where the kitchen was. Viper took care to hide them well without any of the employees seeing, Sova made sure to identify all the cameras and prepare the way so that both could leave without any suspicion.

Brim immediately realized that none of the agents' audio outputs were working and called the controller. Viper thought about hanging up, but they were already getting into the elevator and needed to get into the characters.

- Mr. Bryant! How are you ?

- Sofia please, you promised.

Sova said in an irritated tone, squeezing her waist as a warning. How did his hand got there? Why did it seem so natural? And how she couldn't feel irritated by this sudden liberty? 

- Calm down, I have everything under control and as soon as I can, I’ll send you. We just need to ... review some things in the contract.

She hung up the phone and apologized saying that she couldn't help but answer her boss. Sova snorted, causing her to look at him. God, it would be a long night...The elevator operator seemed curious about the story, especially when he heard:

- Keeping people waiting is what you usually do, Sofia, I don't think it's that hard.

Oh, that was low. She smiled at him falsely, facing danger head-on. Sova swallowed and a lapse of insecurity appeared in his eyes. Had he gone too far?

- Patience is a gift, dear.

The tension between the two was enough to make the operator look away. Viper exited the elevator, parading towards the restaurant, lost in thought and trying to regain some control. Sova took a deep breath before following her, mesmerized for a brief moment by the cleavage. That woman would be his death, for sure.

°•°

Mr. K was sitting in the back of the restaurant, a completely despicable and indecent man who authorized the experiments in Omen, who didn't care who but how much. He had met her as an intern, the young Sabine who worked in ward 236 with a uniform that covered her face and made her just one more genius among the others he hired.

Sova also had reasons for hating the man, after all, he was the one who evicted his poor babushka from his family's hut. And now even if more comfortable in the city, she keeps complaining about missing the fresh air and the remains of her father that were buried on that floor. Mr. K knew exactly what he was doing because a week before he came into her house and had dinner with the food that his grandmother had prepared with such affection, if Sova had been there that night he would have finished with the man right there.

°•°

Until the appetizers were served, everything was going well, they talked and irritated each other all the time. But their waiter... A poor, inexperienced recruit from Kingdom who took too long to serve the wine. 

Sova's napkin "fell" and a small device caught his attention, he quickly got up and signaled to Viper, that touched the bottom of the table and quickly stopped as soon as she felt what it was about.

From then on, another conversation started between them. Much more aggressive and quick, between their eyes and being ignored by everyone around. The device that captured what THEY were saying was something expected but added a certain insecurity to their hearts. Was tha plan still on board? They had to wait patiently for the right moment to strike, and continued to speak in the midst of the initial panic.

- It seems like you can go more than ten minutes without looking at your cell phone. (Sova's eyes subtly signaled the man looking at the clock across the room)

- Ha-ha how funny, I'm rolling on the floor laughing. Tell me Boris, how long did you rehearse this joke? (Viper scanned the surroundings trying to check if something weird was going on)

- Long enough to see your beautiful smile ... I believe it worked. (She stared at him, dead serious and raised an eyebrow in defiance.)

The same waiter returned with the main course. On the other side of the room, Mr. K got up to go to the bathroom and they knew that the opportunity was unique to put the tracker on him. Her phone rang and she thanked Brim for the perfect timing.

- You won't answer. (For a brief moment she thought he meant it, that it was a warning about something she hadn't noticed. A need to counter it, however, came to her.)

- It’s important. (She answered looking at the waiter who was taking too long to serve them and signaled him to hurry up.)

- Sofia! (He was irritated, indignant and perplexed by her calmness. Not only that, she raised her hand to stop him speaking. Sova was reaching his limit, the man could leave at any moment and their chances would be lost.)

From the outside he just looked like a husband indignant at not receiving attention from his workaholic wife. They were buying this idea, because "Sofia” had casually crossed her arms and completely ignored the man in front of her still talking on the phone. On the other side of the line, Brim just pretended to understand all that bureaucracy that the agent spoke and agreed to, repeating a few words.

The Russian's blood boiled and after seven and a half minutes without getting her to return to attention he decided to take the reins of the situation and marched to the bathroom irritated.When he arrived at the men's room, he was faced with a grotesque scene. Mr. K, leaning over one of the toilets, putting out all the appetizers he had eaten.

- Are you okay, sir ...?

His response was another wave of vomiting that seemed to go on forever. Sova took the small device from his pocket and easily put it on the man's collar as he tried in vain to help him. When he pushed the agent away it was too late, the tracker was already in position.

- I-I’ll call someone to take you to the hospital, sir.

An even worse noise came from the man, seeing as a positive response, Sova walked over to his table without paying attention to Viper. She disconnected the call and holded his arm.

- What happened ?

- There's a man, sick in the bathroom. I think it's best to talk to his companions about ...

She agreed. Letting him go alone, watching the desperation on the faces (even the waiter) when they all went to the man's rescue. Predictable. In the midst of the confusion, they didn’t notice that they had left all their belongings aside, nor did they suspect when she approached the table and placed a small device in the wallet of Samuel Kingdom, nor did they notice the trackers that she managed to fit in at least three men who ran past her.

Her "husband" came up supporting the target, helping him return to his table and staring at her all the time. A chill went up her spine when he finally sat in front of her, loosening his tie a little and removing his jacket. Sova was a little breathless, scared but apparently satisfied. Viper looked at the main course, looked at the man in front of her and made a decision.

- Tired, dear? I love it when you save the day...

Sova grunted, almost losing the little patience he had left and closed his eyes thinking about how happy he would be to take out the anger at his training the next day. He almost took a bite, but stopped in the middle of the path when he felt Viper's foot caressing his right leg. In the eye of chaos, at a almost ruined mission, she managed to find another way to frustrate him. it took all the strength he had not to get out of there and take a cold shower, it would have to be freezing to make him calm down.

- Sofia. I swear to God that if you keep doing this ...

Teasing the hunter was one of her favorite hobbies, but her real intention was to get rid of that annoying recruit who continued to spy on them both.

- Doing what? 

Unbelievable. Could it be that the woman couldn't feel an ounce of compassion for his situation? The last hour was the most tense of his life, all the worry and calculation that the two did, didn’t seem to matter, he risked everything for her, directly disobeyed Brim's orders and all of this didn't even come close to how frustrated he felt for not even being able to touch her as he wanted.

And how he desired her was no secret, the lust in his gaze was nowhere near the thirst he felt  every day and night. His feelings at the top of his skin being made fun of and being part of a circus.

- I pay the bill, meet me on the stairs next to the elevator.

Oh oh. He was so lost in thought that he had only noticed at that moment the predatory look that the scientist had.

- Let me just finish the dish, I'm hungry.

- Me too.

Without raising any suspicion, even from her partner she managed to hide a knife in her purse. There was just one more thing left ... Boris got up asking for the bill to be brought and went to the indicated place, taking a sip from the wine glass and leaving his plate untouched. Everything happened very quickly, he went out to the Hall on the floor and realized that someone was following him. The sound of footsteps was not that familiar high heels and it seemed much more urgent than it should have. He was unarmed and had promised Viper that under no circumstances would he call anyone. With no way out, he turned to see the waiter who was serving them.

- Who are you and who do you work for?

The boy looked scared but determined, his hand was shaking as he held the Ghost.

- I don’t know what you're talking about.

- Don’t lie! 

God, the boy was almost screaming. What would they threaten to do to him if he was unable to finish the job? Sova opened his mouth to speak, to try to argue anything, but it was too late. Blood was already running down the boy's throat as he fell at his feet. In front of him, Viper held the dinner knife, she took a handkerchief from her bag, sprayed a liquid and wiped it, leaving it beside her body.

- Thank you.

She held out her hand to him, the two went down the stairs, crossed the top floor and returned to the restaurant to take the elevator without raising suspicion.

The same elevator man was waiting for them, curious to know how the couple's night would end. Sova smiled at the operator and hugged his "wife", trying to forget the situation a little.

- Someone is needy today...

If the sarcastic comment hadn't been followed by a kiss on his neck, he might be able to formulate an answer. His hands instinctively squeezed her bare back, pulling her close and making room for just a gasp in response.

* PLIM *

The elevator arrived and they left without speaking. The operator nodded and winked at him, showing his thumb as a sign of pure approval. 

Even after hearing Brim's scolding, the two remained silent on the way back to Headquarters and both went to their rooms without saying goodbye.

At least, that's what Sova thought.

He lingered in the shower, thinking about how Viper managed to be calculating in the most tense moments. He put the water as cold as possible to get her out of his head, but the events of the night were flashing back in his mind. Still wrapped in the towel, he recognized the perfume and turned on the light.

- Since the lobster was poisoned, I decided to bring you a- oh.

Poisoned? How did she know the lobster was poisoned? Why the hell did she suggest that he order that dish then? So that was the reason for her calmness, she knew the man would run into the bathroom because Mr. K also ordered the lobster, and she annoyed him to almost lost his mind just to keep it undercover... 

Sova had so many questions and they all died when he saw Sabine's flushed face. Was the all-powerful and controlled Viper speechless when she saw him shirtless?

- May I know how you got here?

He said heading towards his closet with no intention of drying off halfway. He took a while, trying to give back the torture he had suffered in the last few months ... He didn't get an answer, but he also didn't know if he wanted to.

- I have to thank you for saving me, but I'm not sure if I should because you almost poisoned me, am I right, Sabine?

The controller's mind was blank. The only thing she could conceive of was the existence of the man in front of her. Okay, she also wore a nightgown with a clear intention of provoking him and keeping him waiting again, but she was tired of walking away, of avoiding contact, of not being able to fully enjoy him.

- Eat first, thank me later.

Was all she was able to say. He laughed and moved closer and closer to her, taking the plate from her hands and placing it on the table in front of the window. This was already getting ridiculous in her opinion, but he really needed to eat so he asked her to wait and put his pajamas in the bathroom.

- So tell me...

His phrase died there, the passionate kiss was everything he hoped for and better than he dreamed. His hands were holding the woman in front of him to make sure it was really happening. The two pulled away abruptly for air, Sova smiled and Viper had an expression of astonishment that was almost comical..

- I-I don't know what came over me!

Sova went to the table stupidly happy with the situation and opened the package with the hamburger. She was still standing in the middle of the room and he contemplated his effect on her, deciding to give her time to get used to the idea.

- I should have let you eat the lobster.

Her voice was a little hoarse. She sat across from him, waiting for him to finish the meal. Sova bit the bread, but stopped in the middle of the way to feel Viper's foot caressing his right leg. This time he wouldn't wait.

This time he was not going to be frustrated.

#sova #viper #oneshot #undercover #anon ask #soviper #valorant #valorant sova #valorant viper #this is probably going to ao3 #i'm so tired ans sleepy but i finally finished it

[agallimaufryofoddments]

Yet another personal post about today, which I’m putting under the cut mainly because I’m afraid I’ve been posting too many personal posts and I don’t want to bore followers with another paragraphs-long non-Naritaverse post.

Sorry about the ratio of personal > fandom posts, by the way. Two things worth highlighting from the stuff under the cut:

1) I’m back on my higher dosage ADD meds, which should really help with attention and productivity toward fandom content as much as it will help with everything else in my life. (Basically: on meds = more fandom activity)

2) Baccano! Vol 11 releases tomorrow, and I do intend to have a Release Notes post out too. However, real life events (outing with friends + visiting admin office to try and sort out enrolling confusion) the same day may impede post delivery. Just a heads up.

Edit: I forgot you can’t add read-mores if you’re writing a post in the app (writing this on a tablet). Argh! Apologies! Won’t happen again! Because I just might never post anything from the app again.

It’s about 20 minutes to 5 PM. Today I’ve registered with my municipality (as required in this country) and taken a (thoroughly terrible) photo for a uni card. Three of the women in line for a photo were also in archaeology (!); the two Bachelors students said they tried registering for classes today and found the enrollment system a mess. “No one, including the staff, had any idea what was going on (with it),” I think one of them said.

Which is a bit of a relief, since I’ve been having some unique trouble with the system myself. Whenever I try enrolling and sorting classes by ’academic requirement’, the system shows... well, the outer box is labeled with my degree, but the inner box (within which the classes are grouped) is labeled with a different degree, meaning the displayed classes are following that degree’s prospectus and not...mine???

I know I can manually search for the classes listed under my degree prospectus and enrol in them, but the fact the system thinks these classes are the ones I should be signing up for is...worrying. I went to the student front office (currently still sitting there) and they said to take it to my department’s education administration office. Office only appears to be open on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a few hours (Tues 2-4 PM) despite the building being open 7/7:30 - 7 PM (depending on which page you visit) so I think I’ll go tomorrow and ask if the enrollment page is showing what it’s supposed to be showing.

Edit: It’s almost 5:30. Maybe I’ll go now just in case...? Even if there’s no one there, I’d at least learn where the building is / one route to getting there, etc.

Two slight hiccups: two friends have invited me to the botanical gardens tomorrow, and Baccano! Volume 11 releases tomorrow (!!! Get hype). At...probably 9 AM my time, since the Yen Press digital releases are typically timed for 12 AM Pacific Time, of which I’m nine hours ahead. The botanical gardens are open from 10-6...admin office from 2-4.......how do.

Essentially I’m writing this up in order to reassure folks that I will one way or another get a volume release notes post out (I’ve already started preparing some notes + wiki edits in advance)...but also to give advance notice (and explanation as to why) the post may be delayed tomorrow or otherwise not finished as soon as it might otherwise be.

(Also, I’m so sorry for the amount of personal posts lately? Specifically (especially) for how I’ve been behind on posting Baccano! / non-personal posts; my activity on a Tumblr definitely took a dive in August, though frankly I have a hazy notion my fandom participation/output has been subpar the whole summer...

(...but hopefully it will be on the up and up soon enough! Especially now that I’m back on my ADD meds—and the more fitting dosage at that. I ran out of them months back and spent the last month on a lower dosage [doctor’s precaution] which was...Unhelpfully Low. I took the new* (not new, just higher) dosage today for the first time since getting the prescription and...yeah. Yeah, the lower dosage just was not what my brain needed.

(So better dosage means better productivity and hopefully better focus for everything, fandom job hobbies included! There’s one fandom thing I really want out before October, so here’s to going full speed ahead on that. Er, sorry that this is a very long personal post at that; maybe I should come up with a more specific tag than #personal so people can blacklist these posts...?)

Now, I just have to remember to actually take the meds every (business) day...

#personal #hhh I guess I should bus to the building now anyway #just in case #I really am sorry to those following me for fandom content #the well isn’t dried up yet #the well has just been off its meds since the beginning of summer #if not the year #that’s the thing about ADD #it affect the hobbies one loves and even special interests #as much as it does one’s work job chores etc. #my mind has felt amorphous and fuzzy for months #frayed at the edges. withered and deteriorating

[magioftheseas]

Day 7 - Moving Forward

Written for @the-hinata-project

Prompt: Birthday~

Rating: T

Warnings: Some suggestive stuff and implicit sexual content, but... Yeah it’s pretty chaste for the most part.

Notes: Last day, whooooo! It’s fluffy and introspective just how I usually like it! I’m glad I managed to get all these done on time, even if it’s a much more modest output than usual. I’m really glad that people have been enjoying these because they were pretty fun to write. Happy New Year and Happy Birthday to two of my bestest boys, chestnut and seaweed. I love you so so so much.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

“I just...wanted to be someone proud. Someone who could stand tall.”

“Someone special, correct?”

He nods glumly.

“You didn’t have to go that far,” she tells him kindly. “You were fine as you were.”

“I didn’t feel fine,” he mutters bitterly. “Nothing felt fine, especially with how things turned out.” He shook his head. “Someone like me... I was doomed from the start.”

“You mustn’t think that way.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he sighs. “It really...doesn’t matter. Just look at how things turned out.”

She makes the saddest face and he could only laugh mirthlessly.

“Sorry... I’m...so sorry that I just couldn’t be happy... Nanami.”

--

“I had no desires, no dreams, no drive. I merely existed because others willed it.”

“But you still had your own thoughts, y’know. You weren’t a fucking robot with nothing on the mind but programming.”

For a while, he is quiet, contemplative before his vacant gaze flickers to the side.

“My thoughts...were not much. Everything was so boring. Not much even worth thinking about. Not really.”

The other scoffs. But then he laughs, coldly and brokenly.

“Yeah... That’s partially my fault, isn’t it? God, I...really screwed up with you.”

“And that is why I was necessary, right, right?” she asks cheerily, giggling. “You were so bored, so listless. Poor wittle senpai. You would’ve taken anything that gave you some sort of a thrill.”

“...it wasn’t your fault,” he ends up saying to the other, before turning blankly to her. “And you’re right. I was bored. So hopelessly bored. But...” He pauses for a moment more. “What is most to blame is my own arrogance working in tandem with my listlessness. Because I knew myself more capable, more than anyone or anything, I simply allowed things to happen. I let myself to pulled around and dragged about because I did not truly feel I had any stakes in the matter.”

When he finally meets the other’s gaze, it’s full of guilt and remorse, and he is not sure if his own gaze is reflective of that.

“I was foolish,” he said. “I did not realize how much I needlessly risked until you were lost, Matsuda.”

Matsuda’s frown deepens and then he sighs. Her expression is blank.

“That...was my own fault, too,” Matsuda mumbled. “You know that, right?”

“I do,” he says, and all of them are quiet. He brushes his hair back.

He takes a deep breath.

“I...as well...apologize.”

--

“And so what?” Komaeda asks, looking remarkably bored, cheek resting against her hand. “You’re sorry and that’s all fine and dandy but are you going to just leave it at that? How booooring.”

“You’re right,” he grumbles, running his fingers through his hair.

“You’re so arrogant,” Komaeda says, eyes blank, expression shadowed in a world of light. “So presumptuous. You still are. Why else would you continue to exist? Both of you forfeited that right. You both got so undeservedly lucky.”

“...yeah.”

“But isn’t that admirable?” Komaeda asks cheerily, playing with the chain now locked around his neck. “Now only did the underdog persevere, but you also completely turned the tables, huh? That’s incredible, no matter how you look at it.”

“It’s...not really something I can be impressed with,” he says, sighing. “Considering all that decision lead to.”

“What about all that?” Komaeda’s head tilts. “It’s not like it’s all your fault. You weren’t the one forcing the student council to kill each other. Although...” He smiles brightly. “I suppose everyone almost dying and getting possessed in the simulation—that was your fault, ehehehe.”

“...”

“But it’s okay,” Komaeda goes on, hands open. “It’s not like everyone targeted in that was an innocent victim, right? You had all the reason in the world to hate us.”

“I did not hate you,” he snapped, unable to help it. “It was not like that.”

Komaeda simply smiles, unassuming and nonjudgmental.

“We don’t deserve a future either,” Komaeda then says, eyes falling shut. “With everything we’ve done, all that we’ve destroyed, all those we’ve hurt... We don’t deserve to live.”

“...letting you die or just killing you directly isn’t going to solve anything, either,” he points out. “There’s...been enough death and murder, don’t you think? Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m very tired,” Komaeda says serenely, and everyone else is behind him. “We all are.”

“But...you still shouldn’t give up,” she ends up speaking for him. “At least... I don’t think so.”

“That’s right,” he agrees quietly. “We shouldn’t give up.” He offers Komaeda his hand. “We should keep going. All that we’ve done—should motivate us to go forward so that we can much more properly rectify those mistakes.”

“That really is overly idealistic,” Komaeda giggles. “And so naïve. Do you really think I can believe in such words after everything that happened?”

Komaeda says that, but he still places his hand in his.

“Can you?” he can only ask.

“Only because I admire you so much,” Komaeda replies.

--

Sunlight is filtering through the window. It’s fairly late in the day, being early in the afternoon. His eyes open slowly and he squints blearily at the ceiling.

...that was...

Komaeda is snuggled up against his side, curled into him with a content little sigh. His mechanic hand rests against his chest, warm from body heat and sunshine.

Because Komaeda is atop his arm, it’s gone a little bit numb. But because Komaeda seems to comfortable, he doesn’t dare move to potentially stir him from his slumber. Instead, he continues to stare upwards, vision slowly and surely focusing.

There’s a low droning pain in his head. That’s gotten pretty normal for him. He just tolerates it at this point. It doesn’t really matter, after all.

What’s important is... I don’t actually know. I have no idea. To continue working? To continue living? To keep going? Is that really all that there is?

It’s bright out. Everything is softened by sunshine. Komaeda is warm and soft against him. There’s an afterglow.

“...it’s nice,” he can’t help but murmur, dazed and lower than a whisper. “It’s really nice. It’s one of those moments where you’re thankful to be alive.”

And isn’t that nice? Isn’t that so wonderful?

...I suppose.

His head hurts. He uses his free hand to brush his fingers against the scarring. He thinks, for a moment, about how Komaeda lightly touched the scars with cold, delicate fingertips. How Komaeda’s eyes would be wide, lips parted to form a perfect circle. And then, how Komaeda would smile, palm pressing into Hinata’s cheek as the two of them kissed.

“...mmf.”

“Mm...” Komaeda shifts against him, face practically buried into his side. He sighs against his skin, and the sensation is one that sends his nerves on haywire. In that moment, he knows the exact saline concentration of Komaeda’s breath, and the exact temperature of his body. The exact rate of his heartbeat. The particles of skin flaking off. How Komaeda smacks his lips. How chapped and dry his lips are. How he shivers. How the fine hairs stand on end. How bones protrude. How, how, how— “Hhh... Hajime...”

Hinata blinks once. Twice.

“...is that really me?”

“Iiii... Izuru...” Komaeda slurs next.

Blink. Blink.

“...is that accurate...?”

He’s aware, now, of just how rigid his body is, and how Komaeda seems to notice, too, with how Komaeda begins to stir awake.

“Mm... Hm?” He rubs his eye with the mechanic hand, and pushes himself up. The blanket flutters down the curvature of his back. “Did you have a nightmare?” Blearily, he pats Hinata’s face. “Dissociating?” Komaeda’s lashes fluttered. Blankly, Hinata reaches up and brushes off one of the fallen eyelashes from his cheek. “What’s wrong?”

“I...do not know. I just don’t know...” He feels himself seize up. He feels himself shiver. “Hey... I’m...me, right?”

“You’re you,” Komaeda says softly. “You wouldn’t be anyone else except you.”

“Hah...” He sucks in his breath, and nearly struggles to do so. Komaeda tells him to breathe and thankfully, thankfully, he can at least do that much. “I really do feel out of it sometimes... Like I’m gonna fall to pieces or disappear if I’m not too careful.”

He throws an arm over his gaze.

“Am I Hinata Hajime? Kamukura Izuru? Both? Neither? Sometimes it’s like a million things are shouting at me at once and I feel beyond overwhelmed.”

“Mm...” Komaeda just rests his arms and cheek against his chest. “You should talk to a therapist about that. Let’s contact Naegi-kun and ask if he knows anyone, okay?”

“Urgh...” He groans. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Komaeda murmurs. “I’d be a hypocrite if something like this bothered me. Considering the moods I can get into...”

Without warning, he ends up remembering a Komaeda in despair, fingers tangled into his hair and screaming.

“...yeah...” His fingers card through Komaeda’s hair. “Still. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Komaeda pushes himself up, but still straddles him. “Oh. That’s right. I haven’t finished giving you your birthday gift.”

Predictably, he finds himself flushed.

“A-Ah... Huh?”

“Yeah. I ended up getting too drunk last night during the party.” Komaeda’s smile is apologetic as he lightly touches his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so bad. How will you ever forgive me?” There’s a teasing hint to his voice. “But it’s still your birthday, right?”

“I...” Shivering, he could only nod. “Y... Yeah... It is...”

“Then there’s still time!”

With that, Komaeda bounces off of him, hopping towards the drawer and rummaging through. Wincing, Hinata pushes himself up, trying to keep his eyes on the curly wisps of white as he rubbed his chest. Komaeda seems to find what he’s looking for, clasping it in his hands and skipping back up to him as he swings his legs over the edge of the bed. Komaeda presents his clasped hands, eyes sparkling as he opens them and exclaims,

“Happy birthday!”

Hinata blinks. Kamukura squints.

“It is a yen coin.” A remarkably old, one, too. Decades old. Discolored with age and cracked. A rare marvel for the Ultimate Coin Collector, but otherwise... “Just a coin.”

“It’s a lucky coin!” Komaeda bursts with, giddy. “I found it on the beach! After nearly drowning twice in a row! Isn’t it amazing?”

Hinata tries to smile, but it’s strained and pitiful. He still takes the coin, feeling its cold weight in its hand. Komaeda frowns.

“...aha... I thought it’d be a good gift. Money’s pretty hard to come by, after all, not that I’d want you to spend it...unless you want to.”

“I’m not going to spend your gift,” Hinata retorted quickly, insulted at the idea. “I’ll cherish it. Really.”

Komaeda fiddles with his fingers.

“...mm...”

“I remember,” Kamukura says suddenly. “You once picked a bundle of four-leaf clovers and tried to make bookmarks from them. I suppose, then, that I should have expected this from you.”

“It’s...good luck,” Komaeda explains rather lamely. “It’s good luck to make up for the fortune you bring me, no...just the fortune you bring. Because the fact that you exist, that both of you still exist—is the most fortunate, wonderful thing.”

He perks at that, blinking. Just like that, he squeezes the coin and it feels a little heavier.

“...thanks. Nagito.”

Nagito blushes quite darkly, but smiles so brightly that it puts the sun to shame.

“Hey... It’s the new year, right...?” Without thinking, he reaches out and entwines their fingers. “I was thinking...maybe later...maybe when things have settled down...that we...”

“Happy birthday!” Nagito chirps. “It’s the new year! How exciting!”

He snorts.

“Don’t change the subject so clumsily.”

He squeezes Nagito’s hand.

“You, uh, get what I’m implying, right?”

“Happy birthday, Hajime! Happy birthday, Izuru!”

Another squeeze.

“You totally know. You just don’t want to hear it.”

“Happy birthday!”

“Got it.”

He pulls Nagito into his embrace, arms wrapping tightly around him, feeling the way Nagito tenses before relaxing.

“...the world still needs lots of rebuilding,” Nagito murmurs against him. “Once we’re free from the shackles of our crimes... Then we should do whatever we want.”

He nods in agreement, even as his smile fades just a little, but he still holds Nagito close.

“That said...please stay with me until then,” Nagito goes on. “I’ll be grateful for your presence every single day.” A pause. “Well. Of course. You can always leave if you have to. I don’t want you to feel chained to me, after all.”

“I understand.” He kisses Nagito’s ear, taking in how the pale skin flushes. “Well. Sometimes I want you chained to me.”

“Oh. Should I give myself as a birthday gift, then?” Nagito asks, almost innocently.

“...I certainly wouldn’t complain if you did.”

Nagito laughs at that, and all he can think about is how he can’t wait to spend the rest of his future with this person.

#the hinata project #thehinataproject #izuru kamukura #hajime hinata #nagito komaeda #KamuKomaHina #Magi fics #dr3 spoilers

[fedorasaurus]

Here’s a short Final Fight fic elaborating on a headcanon that I had about “what if Sodom uses swords in FF but not so much in SF because he was... encouraged by Mad Gear to use deadlier weapons.” Somewhat dark, I know. I promise I’ll write some cute stuff about Sodom after this. After all, if you ask me, he’s almost entirely unproblematic, and deserves all the best.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15269049

(fic contains strong language, implications of violence, and Belger generally being a manipulative ass)

-

Management

Sodom entered Horace Belger's office shortly after midnight, wincing from the ache in his back as he bent below the doorframe. Horace could smell the sweat and blood on him immediately, that overpowering stench of combat. He wrinkled his nose, brushing his hands over the sleeves of his shirt as if to remove a filth that had settled there by the man's very presence.

"You're running late, Sodom," he spoke calmly, looking up at him with his best impression of concern, "everything all right?"

Sodom stopped before his desk, dipping into a low bow as he muttered an apology, "Very sorry, Belger-sama, I came here as soon as I could..."

Horace smirked at the theatrics. Sodom was quite a... unique member of Mad Gear, that was for sure. But at least he was strong, strong enough to make him good money from fights in the underground arena culture, facing off against young punks whose anxiety manifested as raw violence. An entirely valid survival tactic, as far as Metro City was concerned. Horace, of course, survived the city in his own way, a way that benefitted from the disorganized rage of the youth, and he took pride in that. It was the sort of advanced thinking that had brought human beings out of their animalistic past, to become the sophisticated creatures of the modern day. It was a shame that many humans still remained dumb brutes, but Horace couldn't complain about the lack of competition.

"That's all right, Sodom. I'm a patient man. How about your winnings?"

Sodom held out a wrinkled envelope, at which time Horace could see the dark purple bruises around his cracked knuckles. His fingernails, too, were a filthy reddish-brown. The blue metal of his gauntlets was dented and scratched, matching the damage to his helmet that left one corner of his face exposed. Not that he could make out much of his appearance, what with the grotesque swelling around his eye. A dirty job, but someone has to do it, Horace thought as he took the envelope with a nod. He made a show of peeking in at the neatly-folded bills, furrowing his bushy eyebrows and pursing his lips in a deep frown of disappointment. "Coming up a little short again, I see..."

Sodom once more lowered himself, his face nearly touching the surface of Horace's stout desk. "Forgive me, Belger-sama. Please, it's just... the fighters you've asked me to compete against are... quite skilled."

Horace shrugged, turning to glance out the broad window pane that overlooked the lights of the city below. "I'd allowed you the opportunity to join Mad Gear with status because I had confidence in your fighting abilities... If it's too difficult for you, I might be able to assign you to an alternate job to make up the difference..." he left this off with a long pause, allowing Sodom to apply a meaning to his words as he saw fit. The nervous tension was evident in his reply.

"N-No, I can do this, I just need some time to train..."

"The trouble is," Horace growled, turning back around to face him with a sharp hiss of his motorized chair, "'time' isn't exactly something that I have to spare. I'm a busy man, you know. While you dirty thugs are out there in the streets, I'm up here taking care of the business that keeps everything afloat!" He then let out a long sigh, his tone softening, "But like I said, I can be patient. It's hard out there, believe me, I get it! You know I'd be out there, nobly fighting alongside you if it weren't for... you know..." he accentuated his point by solemnly running a hand over the frame of his wheelchair. Sodom said nothing, but made the sound of a choked gulp. Lucky for Horace, it seemed that he was a sympathetic fool in addition to being a strong one.

"Now..." Horace mused, stroking his beard, "what could we do to help improve your success output? You don't happen to have any other fancy Japanese weapons, do you?"

Sodom glanced down at the jitte that hung loosely from his belt. "I... also have a pair of katana, but I'm not sure that wielding something so lethal against unarmed opponents is honorab--"

"You have swords?!" Horace laughed with exaggerated amusement, "That's incredible! My goodness, you must be quite the samurai!"

Sodom flushed where his skin was not already red from his wounds. His posture straightened, his expression relaxed. He chuckled in both relief and solidarity.

"Katanas!" Horace exclaimed, "I like this idea! You're brilliant, Sodom! Brilliant!"

"Thank you, sir!"

"In fact, let's set you up with some real fights. The real money-makers. You're going to do well for Mad Gear's reputation, you know that? No one's gonna screw around with a strong and brilliant sword-swinging samurai in my city."

Horace then reached into the envelope and removed a small wad of bills. "Here," he added, tossing the lump onto the desk, "buy yourself a hot date, or... some saké or something. Whatever it is you're into."

Sodom bowed again and accepted his cut of the money graciously. As he began to make his leave, Horace called back to him. "By the way, if you see Rolento, tell him that he's falling behind on his earnings as well. Don't hesitate to use those katanas of yours to get the point across, either."

"Yes, of course, Belger-sama!"

It wasn't until Sodom had thoroughly exited his office that Horace began to make a proper count of the money, his expression locked in a smug grin.

"Fucking idiot."

#fanfiction #fanfic #Final Fight #hmm

[suzanneshannon]

The 2020 Guide to Creating Quality Technical Screencasts, Presentations, and Remote Meetings

I've had a lot of people ask me to write up a guide to creating great technical screencasts. This is an update to my 2011 post on the same topic.

What are you doing? STOP and reassert your assumptions

Hang on. You're doing a screencast or sharing your screen in some way for a meeting, presentation, or YouTube. What does that mean and why did I suggest you stop.

This isn't a stage presentation or even a talk in a conference room. Screencasts and remote meetings have an intimacy to them. You're in someone's ear, in their headphones, you're 18 inches from their face. Consider how you want to be seen, how you want to be heard, and what is on your screen.

Try to apply a level of intentionality and deliberate practice. I'm not saying to micromanage, but I am saying don't just "share your screen." Put your empathy hat on and consider your audience and how it'll look and feel for them.

Initial setup and tools

You can use any number of tools for screen capture. They are largely the same. My preferred tool is Camtasia. Other valid tools are CamStudio (a free and open source tool) and Expression Encoder Screen Capture. You can also use OBS to record your screen and webcam.

When you're using Skype/Zoom/Teams to record live, you're already set as those tools will share for you as well as record.

Windows Look at Feel

At the risk of sounding uptight, how you setup Windows and your environment is the difference between a professional and an amateurish screencast. It's shocking how many folks will start recording a screencast without changing a thing, then wonder why their 1600x1200 screencast looks bad on YouTube at 360p or low bandwidth on a phone. If you find yourself doing screencasts a lot, considering making a custom user (maybe named Screencast?) on your machine with these settings already applied. That way you can login as Screencast and your settings will stick.

Resolution and Aspect

First, decide on your aspect ratio. Your laptop may have a ratio of width to height that is 3:2 or 4:3 but MOST people have a 16:9 Widescreen system? A VERY safe resolution in 2020 is 1280x720 (also known as 720p). That means that you'll be visible on everything from a low-end Android, any tablet, up to a desktop.

That said, statistics show that many folks now have 1920x1080 (1080p) capable systems. But again, consider your audience. If I was presenting to a rural school district, I'd use 720 or a lower resolution. It will be smoother and use less bandwidth and you'll never have issue with things being too small. If I was presenting in a professional environment I'd use 1080p. I don't present at 4k, especially if the audience is overseas from where I am. You're pushing millions of pixels that aren't needed, slowing your message and adding no additional value.

On Windows, consider your scale factor. At 1080p, 125% DPI is reasonable. At 720p (or 1366x768, using 100% scaling is reasonable).

Background Wallpaper and Icons

Choose a standard looking background photo. I prefer to use one from http://unsplash.com or the defaults that come with Windows 10 or your Mac. Avoid complex backgrounds as they don't compress well during encoding. Avoid using pictures of your kids or family unless it feeds your spirit and you don't mind mixing the professional and personal. Again - be intentional. I am neither for nor against - just be conscious and decide. Don't just accept the defaults.

Hide your desktop icons. Right click your desktop and hit View | Show Desktop Items. Also consider whether we need to see your desktop at all. If it doesn’t add value, don’t show it on the screencast.

Fonts

Try to use standard fonts and themes. While your preferred font and colors/themes offer personality, they can be distracting. Consider the message you want to present.

If you're using Visual Studio or Visual Studio Code, remember that your audience likely hasn't changed their defaults, and if you show them something fancy, they'll be thinking about how they get that fancy widget rather than your content. In Visual Studio proper, go to Tools | Options | Environment | Fonts and Colors and click "Use Defaults."

In all your text editors, consider change your fonts to Consolas Size 15. It may seem counter-intuitive to have such large fonts but in fact this will make your code viewable even on an iPhone or Tablet. 

Remember, most video sites, including YouTube, restrict the embedded video player size to a maximum of around 560p height, unless you go full-screen or use a pop-out. Use the font size recommended here, and use Camtasia’s zoom and highlight features during editing to call out key bits of code.

Don’t highlight code in the editor by selecting it with the mouse UNLESS you've deliberately change the selection background color. Defaults are typically hard to read editor selections in video. Instead, zoom and highlight in post production, or use ZoomIt and practice zooming and emphasizing on screen elements.

Browser Setup

Unless your screencast is about using different browsers, pick a browser and stick to it. Hide your toolbars, clear your cache, history, and your autocomplete history. You'd be surprised how many inappropriate sites and autocomplete suggestions are published on the web forever and not noticed until it's too late. Don't view pr0n on your screencast machine. Be aware.

Toolbars

Your browser shouldn't show any, and this is a good time to uninstall or hide whatever coupon-offering nonsense or McAffee pixel waster that you've stopped being able to see after all these years. Remember, default is the word of the day. Disable any Browser Extensions that aren't adding value.

If you are using Visual Studio or an IDE (Eclipse, Photoshop, etc) be aware of your toolbars. If you have made extensive customizations to your toolbars and you use them in the screencast, you are doing a great disservice to your audience. Put things to the default. If you use hotkeys, tell the audience, and use them for a reason.

Toast

You've got mail! Yay. Yes, but not during your screencast. Turn off Outlook Gmail, GChat, Twitter, Messenger, Skype, and anything else that can "pop toast" during your screencast.

Clock and Notifications

Go to Start on Windows 10, and search for System Icons and turn off the Clock temporarily. Why? You can't easily edit a screencast if there's a convenient time code in the corner that jumps around during your edits. Also, no one needs to know you're doing your work at 3am.

Clean out your taskbar and notification area. Anything that visually distracts, or just hide the taskbar.

Audio and Voice

Use a decent microphone. I use a Samson C01U. You can also use a USB headset-style microphone but be aware that breathing and "cotton mouth" really shows up on these. Test it! Listen to yourself! Try moving the microphone above your nose so you aren't exhaling onto it directly. Use a pop filter to help eliminate 'plosives (p's and t's). You can get them cheap at a music store.

Be aware of your keyboard clicks. Some folks feel strongly about whether or not your keyboard can be heard during a screencast. Ultimately it's your choice, but you have to be aware of it first, then make a conscious decision. Don't just let whatever happens happen. Think about your keyboard sound, your typing style and your microphone, and listen to it a few times and see if you like how it comes together.

Avoid prolonged silence. There should be ebb and flow of "I'm saying this, I'm doing that" but not 10 seconds of "watch my mouse." Speak in an upbeat but authentic tone. Be real.

Also be calm and quiet. Remember you are a foot from them and you're their ear. It's a conversation with a friend, not a presentation to thousands (even if it is).

Don’t apologize or make excuses for mistakes – either work them in as something to learn from, or remove them completely.

If you are editing the presentation - If you make a mistake when speaking or demonstrating, clap your hands or cough loudly into the mic and wait a second before starting that portion over. When editing, the mistakes will show up as loud audio spikes, making it easy to find them.

Camtasia has decent automatic noise reduction. Use it. You’ll be surprised how much background noise your room has that you, but not your audience, will easily tune out.

If you must overdub a portion of the audio, sit in the same position you did while recording the original, and have the mic in the same spot. You want your voice to blend in seamlessly.

Preferred Video Output for Prerecords

Your screen capture tool should be produced at the highest reasonable quality as it will be compressed later when it's uploaded. Think of it like producing JPEGs. You can make a 5 megabyte JPG, but often a 500k one will do. You can make a 10 gig screen capture if you use uncompressed AVI encoding, but often a high bit rate MP4 will do.

The trick is to remember that your compressed screencast will be recompressed (copies of copies) when it is run through the encoding process.

Edit your screencast, if you do, in its recorded native resolution which hopefully is what you'll publish to as well. That means, record at 1080p, edit at 1080p, and publish at 1080p. Let YouTube or your final destination do the squishing to smaller resolutions.

Personally, I like to know what's going on in my production process so I always select things like "Custom production settings" in Camtasia rather than presets. Ultimately you'll need to try and find what works for you. Use an H.264 encoder with a high bitrate for the video and 44.1kHz/441000Hz 16 bit mono for the audio. Basically make a decently sized MP4 and it should work everywhere.

Do you have enough bandwidth?

In my opinion, if you are doing a live call with Video and Screensharing and you want it to be high definition, you'll need 4 Mbps upstream from your connection. You can check this at http://speedtest.net. If you have 5-6 Mbps you've got a little more headroom. However, if someone in the house decides to get on Netflix, you could have an issue. Know your bandwidth limitations ahead of time. If it's an important stream, can you dedicate your bandwidth to just your one machine? Check out QoS (quality of service) on your router, or better yet, take your kids' iPads away! ;)

Conclusion

Take some time. I put about an hour of work into a 15 min screencast. Your mileage may vary. Watch your video! Listen to it, and have your friends listen to it. Does it look smooth? Sound smooth? Is it viewable on a small device AND a big screen? Does it FEEL good?

Sponsor: Have you tried yet? This fast and feature-rich cross-platform IDE improves your code for .NET, ASP.NET, .NET Core, Xamarin, and Unity applications on Windows, Mac, and Linux.

© 2020 Scott Hanselman. All rights reserved.

      The 2020 Guide to Creating Quality Technical Screencasts, Presentations, and Remote Meetings published first on https://deskbysnafu.tumblr.com/

[philipholt]

The 2020 Guide to Creating Quality Technical Screencasts, Presentations, and Remote Meetings

I've had a lot of people ask me to write up a guide to creating great technical screencasts. This is an update to my 2011 post on the same topic.

What are you doing? STOP and reassert your assumptions

Hang on. You're doing a screencast or sharing your screen in some way for a meeting, presentation, or YouTube. What does that mean and why did I suggest you stop.

This isn't a stage presentation or even a talk in a conference room. Screencasts and remote meetings have an intimacy to them. You're in someone's ear, in their headphones, you're 18 inches from their face. Consider how you want to be seen, how you want to be heard, and what is on your screen.

Try to apply a level of intentionality and deliberate practice. I'm not saying to micromanage, but I am saying don't just "share your screen." Put your empathy hat on and consider your audience and how it'll look and feel for them.

Initial setup and tools

You can use any number of tools for screen capture. They are largely the same. My preferred tool is Camtasia. Other valid tools are CamStudio (a free and open source tool) and Expression Encoder Screen Capture. You can also use OBS to record your screen and webcam.

When you're using Skype/Zoom/Teams to record live, you're already set as those tools will share for you as well as record.

Windows Look at Feel

At the risk of sounding uptight, how you setup Windows and your environment is the difference between a professional and an amateurish screencast. It's shocking how many folks will start recording a screencast without changing a thing, then wonder why their 1600x1200 screencast looks bad on YouTube at 360p or low bandwidth on a phone. If you find yourself doing screencasts a lot, considering making a custom user (maybe named Screencast?) on your machine with these settings already applied. That way you can login as Screencast and your settings will stick.

Resolution and Aspect

First, decide on your aspect ratio. Your laptop may have a ratio of width to height that is 3:2 or 4:3 but MOST people have a 16:9 Widescreen system? A VERY safe resolution in 2020 is 1280x720 (also known as 720p). That means that you'll be visible on everything from a low-end Android, any tablet, up to a desktop.

That said, statistics show that many folks now have 1920x1080 (1080p) capable systems. But again, consider your audience. If I was presenting to a rural school district, I'd use 720 or a lower resolution. It will be smoother and use less bandwidth and you'll never have issue with things being too small. If I was presenting in a professional environment I'd use 1080p. I don't present at 4k, especially if the audience is overseas from where I am. You're pushing millions of pixels that aren't needed, slowing your message and adding no additional value.

On Windows, consider your scale factor. At 1080p, 125% DPI is reasonable. At 720p (or 1366x768, using 100% scaling is reasonable).

Background Wallpaper and Icons

Choose a standard looking background photo. I prefer to use one from http://unsplash.com or the defaults that come with Windows 10 or your Mac. Avoid complex backgrounds as they don't compress well during encoding. Avoid using pictures of your kids or family unless it feeds your spirit and you don't mind mixing the professional and personal. Again - be intentional. I am neither for nor against - just be conscious and decide. Don't just accept the defaults.

Hide your desktop icons. Right click your desktop and hit View | Show Desktop Items. Also consider whether we need to see your desktop at all. If it doesn’t add value, don’t show it on the screencast.

Fonts

Try to use standard fonts and themes. While your preferred font and colors/themes offer personality, they can be distracting. Consider the message you want to present.

If you're using Visual Studio or Visual Studio Code, remember that your audience likely hasn't changed their defaults, and if you show them something fancy, they'll be thinking about how they get that fancy widget rather than your content. In Visual Studio proper, go to Tools | Options | Environment | Fonts and Colors and click "Use Defaults."

In all your text editors, consider change your fonts to Consolas Size 15. It may seem counter-intuitive to have such large fonts but in fact this will make your code viewable even on an iPhone or Tablet. 

Remember, most video sites, including YouTube, restrict the embedded video player size to a maximum of around 560p height, unless you go full-screen or use a pop-out. Use the font size recommended here, and use Camtasia’s zoom and highlight features during editing to call out key bits of code.

Don’t highlight code in the editor by selecting it with the mouse UNLESS you've deliberately change the selection background color. Defaults are typically hard to read editor selections in video. Instead, zoom and highlight in post production, or use ZoomIt and practice zooming and emphasizing on screen elements.

Browser Setup

Unless your screencast is about using different browsers, pick a browser and stick to it. Hide your toolbars, clear your cache, history, and your autocomplete history. You'd be surprised how many inappropriate sites and autocomplete suggestions are published on the web forever and not noticed until it's too late. Don't view pr0n on your screencast machine. Be aware.

Toolbars

Your browser shouldn't show any, and this is a good time to uninstall or hide whatever coupon-offering nonsense or McAffee pixel waster that you've stopped being able to see after all these years. Remember, default is the word of the day. Disable any Browser Extensions that aren't adding value.

If you are using Visual Studio or an IDE (Eclipse, Photoshop, etc) be aware of your toolbars. If you have made extensive customizations to your toolbars and you use them in the screencast, you are doing a great disservice to your audience. Put things to the default. If you use hotkeys, tell the audience, and use them for a reason.

Toast

You've got mail! Yay. Yes, but not during your screencast. Turn off Outlook Gmail, GChat, Twitter, Messenger, Skype, and anything else that can "pop toast" during your screencast.

Clock and Notifications

Go to Start on Windows 10, and search for System Icons and turn off the Clock temporarily. Why? You can't easily edit a screencast if there's a convenient time code in the corner that jumps around during your edits. Also, no one needs to know you're doing your work at 3am.

Clean out your taskbar and notification area. Anything that visually distracts, or just hide the taskbar.

Audio and Voice

Use a decent microphone. I use a Samson C01U. You can also use a USB headset-style microphone but be aware that breathing and "cotton mouth" really shows up on these. Test it! Listen to yourself! Try moving the microphone above your nose so you aren't exhaling onto it directly. Use a pop filter to help eliminate 'plosives (p's and t's). You can get them cheap at a music store.

Be aware of your keyboard clicks. Some folks feel strongly about whether or not your keyboard can be heard during a screencast. Ultimately it's your choice, but you have to be aware of it first, then make a conscious decision. Don't just let whatever happens happen. Think about your keyboard sound, your typing style and your microphone, and listen to it a few times and see if you like how it comes together.

Avoid prolonged silence. There should be ebb and flow of "I'm saying this, I'm doing that" but not 10 seconds of "watch my mouse." Speak in an upbeat but authentic tone. Be real.

Also be calm and quiet. Remember you are a foot from them and you're their ear. It's a conversation with a friend, not a presentation to thousands (even if it is).

Don’t apologize or make excuses for mistakes – either work them in as something to learn from, or remove them completely.

If you are editing the presentation - If you make a mistake when speaking or demonstrating, clap your hands or cough loudly into the mic and wait a second before starting that portion over. When editing, the mistakes will show up as loud audio spikes, making it easy to find them.

Camtasia has decent automatic noise reduction. Use it. You’ll be surprised how much background noise your room has that you, but not your audience, will easily tune out.

If you must overdub a portion of the audio, sit in the same position you did while recording the original, and have the mic in the same spot. You want your voice to blend in seamlessly.

Preferred Video Output for Prerecords

Your screen capture tool should be produced at the highest reasonable quality as it will be compressed later when it's uploaded. Think of it like producing JPEGs. You can make a 5 megabyte JPG, but often a 500k one will do. You can make a 10 gig screen capture if you use uncompressed AVI encoding, but often a high bit rate MP4 will do.

The trick is to remember that your compressed screencast will be recompressed (copies of copies) when it is run through the encoding process.

Edit your screencast, if you do, in its recorded native resolution which hopefully is what you'll publish to as well. That means, record at 1080p, edit at 1080p, and publish at 1080p. Let YouTube or your final destination do the squishing to smaller resolutions.

Personally, I like to know what's going on in my production process so I always select things like "Custom production settings" in Camtasia rather than presets. Ultimately you'll need to try and find what works for you. Use an H.264 encoder with a high bitrate for the video and 44.1kHz/441000Hz 16 bit mono for the audio. Basically make a decently sized MP4 and it should work everywhere.

Do you have enough bandwidth?

In my opinion, if you are doing a live call with Video and Screensharing and you want it to be high definition, you'll need 4 Mbps upstream from your connection. You can check this at http://speedtest.net. If you have 5-6 Mbps you've got a little more headroom. However, if someone in the house decides to get on Netflix, you could have an issue. Know your bandwidth limitations ahead of time. If it's an important stream, can you dedicate your bandwidth to just your one machine? Check out QoS (quality of service) on your router, or better yet, take your kids' iPads away! ;)

Conclusion

Take some time. I put about an hour of work into a 15 min screencast. Your mileage may vary. Watch your video! Listen to it, and have your friends listen to it. Does it look smooth? Sound smooth? Is it viewable on a small device AND a big screen? Does it FEEL good?

Sponsor: Have you tried yet? This fast and feature-rich cross-platform IDE improves your code for .NET, ASP.NET, .NET Core, Xamarin, and Unity applications on Windows, Mac, and Linux.

© 2020 Scott Hanselman. All rights reserved.

      The 2020 Guide to Creating Quality Technical Screencasts, Presentations, and Remote Meetings published first on http://7elementswd.tumblr.com/

[tenshinokorin]

Running Down a Dream: The Definitive Guide

So. Back in January of this year, when I was about eh, twenty hours into FFXV, I started a fanfic on Ao3. I thought it would just be a nice place to sock away little drabbles or short fics, here and there, that might be inspired by my playthough. I had no intentions of doing more than maybe ten of them, and I thought they'd all be too small to be stand-alone fics. So I made them chapters, though they weren't really meant to tell any kind of overarching story. I called it Running Down a Dream, because too many things were already called Life is a Highway, and I liked the Tom Petty song better. I didn't expect it to amount to much, really.

...The current collective word count for my FFXV works on Ao3 is 106,074 words. (My FFXV game save is about two hundred and thirty hours.) Slightly more output than I planned. Probably more than anyone expected when reading the first chapter of this five months ago! (The fact that this comes after two years of painful block following the publishing of my first novel is just the cherry on the sundae.)

So, I realize that some people might not have read RDD, because the main fic and the B-sides are marked as unfinished. That's because they're a collection of stand-alones and the whole thing probably won't be finished ever-- I want to leave it open so I can go in and write something whenever. Someday, I may go in and mark them as finished. Probably about thirty minutes before the Earth crashes into the Sun. But each 'chapter' of RDD and the B-sides is complete as is, and while there is some continuity from chapter to chapter--mostly in the form of in-jokes and relationship status--you can still go in and read any one of them, at random. But who wants to plunge into a thirty-chapter mess that's part of a series which also has multiple-chapter fics and some of them are marked finished and some aren't and there's a crossover?? and what? Especially since this Tenshi no Korin person never puts in summaries that actually tell you anything and it's always a song quote or obscure movie quote I mean, the hell?

Don't worry. I've got you covered. Because I'm here with the......

DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO TENSHI NO KORIN'S RUNNING DOWN A DREAM FFXV ARC SO FAR (as of 5/12/17). With links. Buckle in. Here we go.

Running Down a Dream: Ao3 Series Page

Running Down a Dream: Main Fic: The start of all this mess, as described above. Note: While this series is generally fun/funny, I take maudlin turns without warning. Here to help you avoid or seek out what you will is the following code:

(~) this fic is lighthearted (~~) this fic is somewhat serious (~~~) this fic is thoughtful and/or melancholy (!?) this fic is utter crackpanties; your neighbors may call the police.

1.Sunburn: Prompto wants to put the top down, but Ignis pays the price. (~) 2.Garnish: Ignis Scientia: Wild Edibles Expert (~) 3.Lure: Prompto asks Noct about fishing. It's a mistake. (~) 4.Arson: Gladio gets on like a house on fire. (~) (very short) 5.Rain: Insomnia falls. Noct grieves. Prompto offers what comfort he can. (~~~) 6.Ebony: Ignis' poison of choice. (~) 7.Knickers: There's a strange pair of underpants in the hotel bathroom. (~) 8.Plume: Prompto takes a bad hit in battle. (~~) 9.Shield: Gladio meditates on his role, and on bacon. Prompto lands a big catch. (~~/~) 10.Vacancy: Saving the world is messy work. Deciding who gets the shower first is messier. (~) 11.Neon: Prompto and Noct on the hotel roof. First kisses and confessions. (~~) Noct/Prompto 12.Gourmand: Ignis thoroughly enjoys his hobbies, to the dismay and delight of his companions. (~) 13.Ink: Prompto asks about Gladio's tattoo. (~~~) 14.Laundry: Ignis steals his quiet moments where he can. Gladio steals more than that. Noct wants to know where the hell his pants are. (~~/~) Gladio/Ignis 15.Delirium: Noct falls into some dubious mushrooms and finds himself in some even more dubious DLC. Utter crack with no apologies. This is the most popular chapter of this entire series by a country mile. (?!) 16.Manners: Ignis attempts to make his party behave while they escort Iris. It's a lost cause. (Sorry, Iris.) (~) 17.Balladeer: Tomb of the Rogue, without Gladio. Noct sings. Lucian history in verse. (~~~) 18.Trim: Noct gets a haircut and nobody enjoys it. Except maybe Gladio and Prompto. (~) 19.Quicksilver: Prompto saves the day. (~~) 20.Carnivore: Concerning the habits of Chocobos. (~) 21.Poet: Noct and Prompto are up too late and everything is funny. Especially Gladio's hobbies. (~) 22.Phobia: Ignis and his worst fear. No, not brown shoes with a blue suit. Leeches. (~~) 23.Valentine: The most original fic premise ever: It's raining. They don't have spare clothes. The hotel only has one room. It's the honeymoon suite. (!?) 24.Spelunker: Prompto has a panic attack in the caves under Daurel Springs. Gladio offers his jacket and his shoulder. (~~) 25.Specter: Putting relics of the old war to rest. Wondering who will bury their dead. (~~~^100) 26.Payday: Gladio explains what he was doing while he was gone. Noct spies an opportunity. TW: tequila, body glitter, ornamental spoons. (?!) 27.Rations: Gladio's protein bars are terrible. Ignis can do better. (~) 28.Storage: Noct attempts to carry everything in his Armiger. That's how you get ants. (!?) 29.Crimson: The story behind the red soles. (~~~) 30.Bubbly: Gladio takes a hit for Noct, Noct finds a suitable reward. (~) 31.Talent: Something Ignis isn't good at. (~)

Running Down a Dream: The B-Sides: For some reason I made RDD a T+ rating, and then I wanted to write things that were out of the loose timeline that was developing in RDD, and also I just wanted to write M-rated smut. This was meant to be a place for both! Instead it's just the latter. Stories run parallel to the main RDD fic, but! You don't have to read the RDD fics to read these. NSFW (i.e.: #2) to ///desperately/// NSFW (i.e.: #5) 1.Poolside: Noct/Prompto. The Leville's rooftop pool. First time. (~) 2.Adult: Pit stop at a roadside porn store. Gladio shops the sale. Prompto works up his nerve. Ignis offers advice. Noct wishes he were dead. (!?) 3.Turnabout: Prompto/Noct. The King of Lucis takes it like a man. (~) 4.Stealth: Gladio/Ignis. Gladio and Ignis try to get a little on the down-low. Ignis thinks about the first time. Then he thinks about his king. And that's a problem. A good one. 5.Lucky: OT4. The infamous lucky man conversation. Prompto makes a boast, and then makes good on it. Prompto/Everybody

Running Down a Dream: Tyrants & Kings: Okay, so I really need to write about the second half of the game, I thought. But I didn't want to bog down RDD with all that, plus, I want to still be able to write lighthearted road fics (and let people keep reading them), and avoid major game spoilers. Tyrants & Kings is where I deal with the events from Altissia onward to the end of the game (and after). It's also actually complete, unlike most of the rest of this. All fics (~~~) at least. 1.Departures: Leaving Altissia, on the train to Tenebrae. Prompto does what he can. Ignis is grateful. 2.Armistice: Ignis has had quite enough of everyone's bad behavior. Gladio and Noct work it out the only way they know how. 3.Princess: Prompto gets rescued; Noct apologizes. 4.Crystal: Noct dreams about his memories, including how Prompto got his beloved camera. 5.Retreat: Gladio, Ignis, and Prompto head back to Lucis, and try to come to terms with what to do now. (Prompto/Ignis/Gladio) * 6.Regroup: Prompto and Ignis talk about the future, their lives, and about Noct. Ignis gets a phone call. 7.Reunion: The boys are back in town. Noct asks Prompto for a favor. 8.Requiem: The Astrals and the Aftermath. Carbuncle lays down the law. The end of the road. 9.Sunrise: The end of this story, and the beginning of all the others.

* Running Down a Dream: Coming for to Carry Me Home: A stand-alone fic that chronologically slots between chapters 5&6 of Tyrants & Kings. Ignis worries about Prompto, who's having a hard time coping with the turn their lives have taken. And, as it turns out, the things that happened to him in Gralea. Hurt/Comfort. (Please note fic warnings.)

Running Down a Dream: One Other Year: Everything that takes place after the events of Tyrants & Kings. (Wait, I hear you say-- If T&K is the END of the game, how can you have a fic about what happens after? Well. You'll just have to read it and find out.) Unlike RDD & B-sides, his is actually one fic published chapter by chapter, NOT a collection of stand-alone fics, and also not finished, though I try to update it regularly. 1.Picnic: Luna admits something to Prompto. Gladio makes a discovery. 2.Lineage: Ignis tells a story about the Rogue Queen, and about the Kingsglaive, and Galahd, and Royal Magic. 3.Dreams: Noct and Gladio talk about Iris, and about Lucis. Luna makes do. Ignis makes breakfast. 4.Vantage: Noct tries to come to terms with this Prompto Argentum. (Noct/Prompto) 5.Recap: An unknown enemy, an unexpected reunion. Prompto barely avoids causing a cross-cultural incident.

Persistence of Memory: The FFXV/FFVIII Crossover, that doesn't take place in the same timeline as RDD (or DOES it?? :D). Though I will always hold up FFIV as my favorite (and the first one I played myself), FFVIII was a huge catalyst for a ton of fic that I wrote along with my wife, in a continuity that eventually came to be known as the Infamous FF8 ARC. (For approximately two months in the year 2000 I think I was a BNF, but back then it was both an easier rank to get to and also one that you really would never ever want.) Even though we probably wound up writing more for FFVII--and these days are probably more remembered for our Turkfic than for our FF8 stuff, I will always adore those idiots. Playing FF15 felt like playing FF8 in a lot of ways, and putting the two together just made more sense the more I thought about it. So I did. Like One Other Year, this fic is continuous in that it's telling a single story and the chapters are not stand-alone, and also it takes longer for me to write the chapters for it. So while it's unfinished now, it will actually be completed in the future (unlike the RDD fics), but if you don't want to get involved in something till it's done then this is the one that you'd probably want to wait on.

SO THAT'S IT SO FAR. Hopefully if you haven't read any of it yet, you'll find something to try! And if you have, maybe this'll make it easier for you to find old favorites. I love getting Ao3 comments and I promise I try to reply to all of them, though sometimes it does take me a while. Now I'm off to write another installment of RDD, because there's never enough counter space in the hotel bathrooms.

XOXOX - TnK

#final fantasy xv #FF15 #FFXV #noctis lucis caelum #prompto argentum #ignis scientia #gladiolus amicitia #running down a dream #tnk fic

[truemedian]

Kotaku Reacts To Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Screenshot: NintendoTwo weeks have passed since Animal Crossing: New Horizons came out, and almost everyone on the Kotaku staff has poured themselves into trying to make our new desert islands feel like home. It’s been...a process—full of blood, sweat, and a lot of broken axes—and we have some thoughts about it.Hopefully by now you’ve read fellow staff writer Ian Walker’s excellent review of the game, but in addition, we wanted to share the opinions, reactions, personal tribulations, and success stories of others on the staff as we survive Tom Nook’s fascinating new time share scheme together.

“My shitty house”—Maddy MyersScreenshot: Nintendo Maddy MyersI do not play simulation games. I spend no time at all on character creators. I’ve never played an Animal Crossing game before. And yet, Animal Crossing: New Horizons has become a game that I play almost every single day.I’m not sure if I’m even enjoying it. But I do know that it’s fulfilling a hyper-specific need for me right now. As an introverted person who already works from home, I don’t get a lot of social interaction in my daily life, outside of spending time with my equally introverted girlfriend. Before covid-19 happened, I would get a lot of low-impact socializing done in a typical week by chatting with the cashier at the grocery store, or making small talk with the other people at my gym. All of that is gone now.Instead, I make small talk with Timmy and Tommy. I discuss exercise with Flip, the jock monkey villager who lives in my Animal Crossing town. And, of course, I decorate my crappy Animal Crossing apartment and I invite my real-life friends over to (virtually) see it, and then I apologize to them, because it looks even worse than my actual real-life apartment. Animal Crossing allows me to perfectly recreate all the awkward but somehow fulfilling social interactions that I used to have when society still functioned.Will I keep logging in to Animal Crossing every day after the covid-19 pandemic has passed us over? Probably not. But until then, it’s given me a chance to see what it is that other people enjoy about this genre. It’s also made me realize that I need to seriously work on my interior decorating skills.

Ian WalkerI only own two pairs of jeans in real life, but I’m rapidly running out of room for all the clothes I buy in Animal Crossing. Here are some of my outfits:Mike FaheyOn the day Animal Crossing: New Horizons launched, the 512-gigabyte micro SD card in my Switch died. Four days later, after my wife had started playing, her Switch suddenly stopped charging. While trying to get her Switch to work, my system, purchased mere weeks before the game’s launch, stopped outputting video. As I normally play in TV mode, that’s not great. I have a Switch Lite, but I ran it over with my wheelchair and cracked the screen.Nintendo’s warranty repair is down, so I have to wait until the world returns to normal to get any of these consoles repaired. With Nintendo supply down, it’s nearly impossible to buy a new Switch right now. So my wife went on eBay and purchased a refurbished Switch tablet for $250. That’s how much fun we’re having bonding over Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

I can’t play when she can’t play. It’s just too sad. I feel bad sharing items I get, clothing I wear, and bugs I collect with her. For the several days we got to play together, by which I mean in the same room, it was much easier to forget pressing real-world concerns for a little while.We stayed up late to harvest bells. We got up early to see what occurred on our islands as we slept. The chores we must perform on our islands are much more entertaining than the ones we must perform in real life. They are still chores, but they pass the time and make us happy.Bklurbbbb...Natalie DegraffinriedI’ve spent 105 hours playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons over the span of a couple weeks. I suppose I kind of like Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Or my OCD is back with a vengeance. I keep going to celebrations for inclines and bridges even though I’m tired of them, so it’s probably the OCD.

I didn’t think I could take the fine art of min-maxing to higher heights, but here I am in an endless cycle of Nook tickets, tarantula grinding, and organizing my inventory by item valuation. It’s all to fund my Able Sisters shopping problem, ultimately. I look fly as hell, though.

Min-maxing in Animal Crossing is not for the faint of heart, nor is it always a great way to play. It might be even harder to do now that the seasons have changed. Will that stop me? No. I’ll keep getting upgrades and obsessively trying to pay them off in the same day. Do what gives you peace, I say.Just don’t be a fucking goober like my friend.

Riley MacLeodNew Horizons is my first Animal Crossing—our editor-in-chief Stephen talked the game up so much I got really curious about it. I only actually started playing this week, so everything feels very slow—when I get the itch to do something, I keep wanting to switch to Stardew Valley, but I’m really charmed by how happy the NPCs are when you do the simplest tasks and how often everyone claps for you. I also really like that your character runs around with their arms out. I put face paint on my guy and I can’t figure out how to get it off, so he just has face paint now I guess.

Ari NotisThe short version: This is the most annoying game I’ve ever played.And here’s how I really feel: At every turn, this stupid game presents a somehow brand-new hassle: how Blathers has to assess your fossils before you can donate them; how the Nook twins stop you to say thanks before you leave their shop, and how they say everything in not-quite-tandem (WTF is up with that); how you can only eat one fruit at a time; how your shovel is always breaking, your ax is always breaking, your net is always breaking; how two players can’t shop from the same person at the same time in co-op; how it’s impossible to dig a hole where you want; and how every damn day, that damn raccoon monster wastes my time to tell me there’s nothing new going on. I know there’s nothing new going on! This is Animal Crossing! Nothing new ever happens! This game is supposed to be an escape? Please. It’s at best a shoddy Xerox of life’s daily headaches.

Luke PlunkettEveryone says this is the game the world needs right now, but the last thing I need is a second mortgage hanging over my head. At least this one’s on the beach.Heather AlexandraI’ve never played an Animal Crossing game before now. In some ways, I missed out on many Nintendo games as my focus shifted off the Nintendo 64 in favor of the PlayStation and especially the modding scenes of PC games like Half-Life. When I needed a fix for homes away from home, I played Harvest Moon. That led to Stardew Valley and long hours on a co-op farm with a former partner. I enjoy the quiet of village sims and farming games. I also struggle to find the time for them.I haven’t taken the biggest plunge into ACNH. I had to focus on Nioh 2, then Doom Eternal, then Resident Evil 3. So 20-minute sojourns to my island every day were a rare and delicious treat. I can’t compare New Horizons to the others in the series, but I can say that it is an incredibly cozy game during a time when coziness seems rare. Sometimes, a good day means little more than some new wallpaper for your room. In other cases, it’s figuring out where to put that memorial statue you found. Animal Crossing is simple, but that simplicity is why you play it. Planting a new tree, inviting a new animal friend to your island. Small things that don’t feel small at all.Now, if only that freako rabbit would get off my island already...

Where every month is hoagie fest. Screenshot: Nintendo Ethan GachEvery night I shake all the trees, pick all the weeds, and smack objects with my axes until all of them break. In the morning I sell the stuff, and the cycle repeats. Conversations with other villagers scroll past as I smash the A button so I can get back to work. I buy everything I can from Tom Nook like I’m filling out a Sears Catalog Pokédex. I pay off all the loans thanks to the million bells I earned from New Horizons’ week-one infinite item glitch and subsequently invested in the Turnip market. I donate the wood and iron needed to build new homes for new residents. I capture new bugs and fish for the betterment of science. And all the while I wait like Vladimir and Estragon for an epiphany that will help contextualize each individual mundane task and help them culminate into a larger story I can derive some deeper sense of meaning and purpose from.Instead I’m left with a list of things that more closely resembles a CVS receipt. I suspect that’s a problem with me and not the game.Nathan GraysonFor the past week, I’ve been meaning to play through Doom Eternal and finally, properly dive into Control. Instead, I have mostly played Animal Crossing.I don’t really like it? I respect the relaxed pace it’s trying to establish, but by forcing players to step to its beat with fussy mechanics and NPCs who needlessly repeat themselves all the time, it’s managed to annoy me just as often as it’s lulled me into a state of balmy island bliss. Also, I’m bad at interior design, so right now my house looks like World of Warcraft’s Molten Core raid if Ragnaros was a disorganized college freshman who had no idea what to do with his dorm.Oh, and all my neighbors suck. In previous Animals Crossing (correct plural) , that didn’t matter so much, because I enjoyed doing little chores for them and feeling like I was creating a sense of community even among characters with whom I didn’t see eye to eye. In New Horizons, though, it’s all about land development, which feels less personal. I don’t want KK Slider to show up because I optimized my town. I want him to play some tunes for my villagers and me because he’s a chill, cool dude.All that said, this game has given me one of the coolest in-game moments I’ve experienced since we all got trapped inside our houses. I wrote about this at length in another piece, but the other night, DJ and streamer Clarke “Grimecraft” Nordhauser threw an in-game rave, and I attended. Surrounded by the avatars of people I did not know and dancing along with awkwardly improvised moves, I felt the same mixture of fear and exhilaration I’ve felt at countless shows in real life. After I shook my nerves (read: drank a glass of wine), it turned into a relaxing, nice time where everybody mostly talked about how good the music was and how much they appreciated the whole thing. Sometimes, a vacation can be 90 percent unpleasant, but then years later, all you remember is a soothing day on the beach or a perfect sunset. Animal Crossing has some really nice sunsets.

“Me and my partner hanging out last night in AC”—Paul TamayoScreenshot: Nintendo Paul Tamayo I’ve already talked about how Animal Crossing: New Horizons couldn’t have come at a better time, but the ways it’s helping me keep in touch with friends by sending gifts in-game, getting help from my podcast listeners, and hopping on calls to visit each other’s islands has taken this game to another level for me. It’s also giving me the space to put care into my own island like it’s my own adorable bonsai tree. I get to care for it and improve upon it in a million different ways. My partner actually made the beautiful observation yesterday that even after island hopping through our friends’ islands, it really does feel good to return home to your own space. Read More Read the full article

[pearmelody94-blog]

[Transcript] – CBD vs. THC For Sleep, Microdosing Psilocybin, Can You Overdo Modafinil, How To Re-Program Your Body Language & Much More With Jordan Harbinger.

Podcast from: https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/podcast/lifestyle-podcasts/cbd-vs-thc/

[0:00:00] Introduction

[0:00:52] Podcast Sponsor

[0:02:45] Various Drug-Related Topics

[0:05:34] Ultimate Coffee Mix to Turn on The Brain During the Day

[0:09:10] Introduction to Jordan

[0:13:12] Taking Modafinil

Get The Low Carb Athlete - 100% Free!Eliminate fatigue and unlock the secrets of low-carb success. 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[0:18:34] Erectile Dysfunction Vs. Brain Dysfunction

[0:19:26] Kegel Camp App

[0:24:42] About Robert Greene And His Book

[0:29:30] Why Do Athletes and High Achievers Come Across as Intimidating?

[0:43:45] Non-Verbal Communication Techniques

[0:56:52] Recreating “Authentic” Body Language

[1:03:41] My Annoying Body Language Quirk

[1:08:00] Who is Dr. David Buss?

[1:09:35] The Doorway Drill

[1:14:20] Closing the Podcast

[1:15:58] End of Podcast

Ben:  I have a master’s degree in physiology, biomechanics, and human nutrition. I’ve spent the past two decades competing in some of the most masochistic events on the planet from SEALFit Kokoro, Spartan Agoge, and the world’s toughest mudder, the 13 Ironman triathlons, brutal bow hunts, adventure races, spearfishing, plant foraging, free diving, bodybuilding and beyond. I combine this intense time in the trenches with a blend of ancestral wisdom and modern science, search the globe for the world’s top experts in performance, fat loss, recovery, gut hormones, brain, beauty, and brawn to deliver you this podcast. Everything you need to know to live an adventurous, joyful, and fulfilling life. My name is Ben Greenfield. Enjoy the ride.

Hey, it’s Ben Greenfield. I interview my buddy Jordan today, Jordan Harbinger. We kind of just jumped right in. We hit record from the get-go because we always have these super amazing interesting conversations. You get to be the fly in the wall for this one and you are going to learn a crapton. We always have very, very interesting chats. You’re going to like this one. This podcast is brought to you by my company, Kion.

We have an amazing holiday and Christmas promotions going on right now. I realize we’re super close to the holidays, probably too late for you to actually go Christmas shopping at the time that this is coming out. But man, if you have a gift card or you got money for Christmas and you want to get like our super pure antioxidant rich coffee, the clean energy bar that I personally developed, pretty much took all the superfoods that I sprinkle on top of my smoothie in the morning and turn them into a bar with cacao nibs and almonds and sesame seeds and chia seeds and the gelatin equivalent of a half cup of bone broth, it’s all in there in the Kion Clean Energy Bar.

We’ve got our anti-aging skin serum, our gut healing colostrum, our Kion Lean which is basically the best weight management formula I have ever used. I take two of those every single night before dinner. I was at a steakhouse last night with some of my friends and I just break it out. I give it to everybody. It cleans up the liver if you’re drinking. It’s got rock lotus extract in it. That and so much more. Pretty much anything cool that I discover, you can find at Kion, K-I-O-N. So, you go to getkion.com, getK-I-O-N.com, and now is the time to go because we have a ton of prices totally slashed to the floor for the holiday. So, check it out, getK-I-O-N.com. Alright. Let’s go talk to Jordan.

Jordan:  Does consuming cannabis at night, it aids in deep sleep or it hinders deep sleep? I know it was one of the two and I just can’t remember which one it is.

Ben:  Based on testing, extensive self-testing, what I’ve found is that CBD especially in doses of like–pretty hefty, like 60 to 100mg, which is a lot when you consider a lot of CBD supplements like one serving. I don’t know why they sell it in such paltry amounts. It’s like 10mg, enhances deep sleep. So, CBD, by itself, enhances deep sleep without fail for me just based on my sleep tracking. Once you throw THC into the mix, you see a drop in sleep latency, meaning that it seems to kind of shut down ruminating thoughts, et cetera, but you also don’t seem to enter deep sleep cycles quite as intensively, which even if you’re not quantifying, you sometimes tell like you dream, which you don’t do as much during some of your deep sleep cycles. For me, I don’t wake up as rested if I say you–let’s say like an edible that has CBD and THC in it or some kind of an indica strain or something like that which is just pure CBD.

Jordan:  Yeah, because what I’ve been finding is if I wake up at let’s say 1:00 a.m. and I’m like, “Crap. I’m going to be awake all night now.” I tried it down a little bit of a tincture. And then I might pass out. Of course, the problem is it takes two hours to take activation or to take effect. But I wake up and I feel like, “Okay. I know that I just woke up but I don’t feel like that morning like, ‘Oh yeah. I’m good. Let’s do the day.'” I feel kind of like I know I was asleep but I don’t necessarily feel like I was asleep.

Ben:  That is very common with CBD. With CBD, a lot of times, you’ll wake up, you’ll be well rested but it takes like 10/15 minutes to shake things off. Kind of similar to melatonin, like if you take a bunch of melatonin, you get a pretty good night of sleep but it takes a little while when you wake up to really get going.

Jordan:  I guess my question is, does that affect your health negatively during the day or am I just groggy because I had a little bit of a substance, CBD, during the evening? Or is this like, “Hey, if you do this all the time, you’re feeling less rested because you actually are less rested”?

Ben:  You actually are rested. You’re just a little bit groggy. It takes a little while to shake it off. I think it has to do with the endocannabinoid system and the fact that it takes a little while. And there are things you can do to increase wakefulness. I was actually going to tell you about this because I know you and I like to geek out sometimes on ways to stimulate the body. And I think I have discovered the ultimate mix to really turn on the brain during the day. I’ve experimented with a lot of different nootropics and smart drugs but hear me out on this one.

What you do is very common like before adding coconut oil or butter or anything like that to your coffee or your tea, ghee was very popular. It’s like an Ayurvedic recipe from thousands of years ago, this idea of putting ghee into coffee or into tea and blending it, and borrowing from other elements of ancient wisdom and the nootropic world. And also this guy named Paul Stamets, who’s like a mushroom —

Jordan:  The mushroom guy.

Ben:  Yeah, the mushroom guy. What I do is when I wake up, I’m usually fasting for a while and I do a little bit of black coffee. But then for my second beverage of the day after I’ve done my fasted morning workout and all that jazz, what I’ve been doing is about a teaspoon to a full tablespoon of ghee. And then I put a couple packets of that Four Sigmatic Lion’s Mane extract into the NutriBullet along with the ghee. I do a little bit of salt, because it seems to kind of like make it more flavorful like a little bit of Celtic salt, a really good salt.

And then I do a very small amount of psilocybin like 0.1 to 0.2 grams, like barely perceptible amount but–and this is something Paul Stamets says. There’s a little bit of a synergism between the Lion’s Mane and the psilocybin. And the final thing that I put in there, even though Paul Stamets recommends like a niacin or kind of like a flushing type of compound, well, cacao and cacao flavonoids, those are notoriously good for vasodilation, opening up arteries. So, I have this tea–you know Tucker Max, right?

Jordan:  Of course, yeah.

Ben:  So, Tucker Max was talking to me at this conference and he told me he doesn’t drink coffee but he drinks this cacao tea in the morning.

Jordan:  Wasn’t I there for this conversation, actually?

Ben:  You might have been. You might have been on our table. So, I bought this, this My Cacao that he told me about and I put about a tablespoon of that in with the ghee, the Lion’s Mane, the psilocybin and the salt. And then just to make it taste good, I put a little bit of stevia in there. And then I blend that up, and holy cow, I’m just like ready to rumble for hours on end and you feel amazing. It’s something about the chocolate, the Lion’s Mane, the ghee and the psilocybin just opens you up for the entire day. So, it’s a pretty potent one.

Jordan:  So, you’re essentially micro-dosing with psilocybin then?

Ben:  Yeah, very, very, which is not uncommon, this idea of very small amounts of psilocybin to enhance your cognition. But this particular blend I like because it just–something about the ghee and the chocolate and it’s a little bit thick. It’s almost like you could eat it with a spoon. It’s just super good.

Jordan:  Wow. Okay. So, you’re doing this and you’re doing this every day?

Ben:  Well theoretically, you’re supposed to, when you do a micro-dosing schedule, micro-dose every three days. I don’t hit it exactly every three days but pretty much any day. And this comes out for me. I find it comes out for me to about three days of the week when I’ve got a need for higher amounts of cognition or output. Saturday and Sunday, don’t fall into that category, and usually, Friday doesn’t either. For me, it’s Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and/or Thursday. I do this and it works fantastically.

Jordan:  Gotcha. Okay. Perfect.

Ben:  Yeah. For those of you listening in, by the way, I hit record as I alluded to as soon as Jordan and I started talking. So, my apologies for the long intro for those of you who have no clue who the hell Jordan is. But Jordan, do you mind if I introduce you real quick?

Jordan:  I think that makes sense at this point, yeah.

Ben:  Yeah. It does seem to rather than you just being a random stranger that I’m talking to on the phone. Anyways, Jordan has been on the show before. He was actually on a show entitled How I Went From Eating Fast Food, Being Ultra-Shy And Reading Fantasy Novels, blah, blah, blah. It was a super long title and I think the title was more alluding to me than Jordan for some reason. I have no clue why I titled it that way but–

Jordan:  Yeah. I’ve never read a fantasy novel in my life.

Ben:  I know. Yeah. I went back and I was looking at it before recording, I’m like, “Why did I name this after me?” I think it must have been what we talked about. We mentioned about how to reprogram your brain and some cool eye tricks to improve your social confidence. We talked about bars and clubs and how to enhance your experience of those types of venues. We talked about body language mistakes. We talked about a lot of things that go into your area of expertise, which is broad but includes the whole idea that we’re going to unpack in greater detail today, which is nonverbal communication and cues that people sometimes subconsciously give.

But Jordan also has a couple of articles. He’s guest contributed to my site and I’ll link to all that. I’m going to put all the shownotes if you guys go to BenGreenfieldFitness.com/Jordan, BenGreenfieldFitness.com/Jordan. If you can’t spell Jordan, I’m sorry. My apologies. Google that. But anyways, Jordan has this huge interest in social influence and interpersonal dynamics and social engineering. He’s helped private companies test the security of their communication systems. He’s worked for law enforcement agencies, spent several fascinating years abroad in Europe and South America and Eastern Europe, in the Middle East. He speaks multiple languages. He’s worked for various governments and NGOs overseas. He’s traveled through war zones. He’s been kidnapped and I think you told this story on our last show twice.

Jordan:  Yeah.

Ben:  And he’s able to talk his way into and out of just about any situation. He actually has a podcast as well, the Jordan Harbinger Show. I’ll link to that, too. He gets a lot of really great folks on there like musicians and intelligence operatives and writers and visionaries and politicians and folks from all walks of life to deconstruct how they succeed. So, he’s got a fantastic show as well if that’s your thing, if personal development is your thing. He talks about way more than CBD and psilocybin.

Anyways, Jordan, welcome back.

Jordan:  Thanks for having me, man. I appreciate it. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time. It’s probably rare but we hang out much more in person than we do online and on shows, which I think is the inverse of most, what do you call it? I hate this word, influencer, friendships or whatever you’d want to call it.

Ben:  Yeah, digital friendships.

Jordan:  Digital friendships, yeah, which is a good sign. It means we’re actually friends in real life, which I think is probably in the scheme of things more valuable.

Ben:  I think so. Well, I mean there are books about that like, what’s her name? Sherry Turkle. I think her book, “Reclaiming Conversation” is the name of the title. She goes into how much is left on the table from eye contacts to the oxytocin release when you shake somebody’s hands to everything you need in a true flesh-and-blood relationship versus a digital relationship. And opening the kimono for those of you listening in, you know Jordan and I are part of different masterminds together. We get a lot of similar conferences together and I guess we’ve been friends for what, like probably six years now, maybe?

Jordan:  At least, yeah, because I’m trying to do the math in my head and yeah, it’s got to be around there, if not slightly longer. So, it’s great to have the ability to bounce complex stuff off of you and vice versa especially because the way we started this conversation was, “Okay. How does this affect sleep and what’s going on here?” Because for me, and I’m sure for everyone listening, the last thing we want to do throughout our life is develop habits that we think are bridging some sort of gap and then find out, “Oh, by the way, your brain died slowly over the last 10 years that you were doing X.” And I won’t mention any names here but I just heard about somebody that you and I both know, and I think this might be public knowledge, but he took modafinil for like a decade.

Ben:  Oh, really?

Jordan:  And I was just like–

Ben:  Geez, now I’m going to wonder who it is.

Jordan:  I can probably tell you off air. I don’t want to blow someone up on your show.

Ben:  No, don’t blow somebody up. Okay. So, he took modafinil every day?

Jordan:  For 10 years and I think it like–and it wasn’t just a tablet early in the morning. It was like, I think multiple times per day for a decade.

Ben:  Geez, man. What happened?

Jordan:  He’s alive and he’s running a company but that doesn’t mean that we won’t find out in 10/20 years what a decade of modafinil every single day does to your brain and body.

Ben:  Yeah. Have you used modafinil before?

Jordan:  So, I was going to ask about that and I think that’s an interesting point as well. I tried it and everyone’s like, “It’s amazing,” and I thought, “What the hell. I’ll give it a shot.” I was a cranky demon for the entire day and I experienced absolutely no side benefits. My wife just goes, “Whatever pill you took this morning, throw them all away or I’m divorcing you,” basically was the outcome of that situation because it was cranky like the hungry kind of cranky but not actually hungry. Just that same level of crank for no reason, and I was irritable.

And I remember hearing some mouth noise from a friend of mine who was smacking his lips on the couch. Normally, that would be like, “Oh, I don’t love that but whatever, it’s my own pet peeve.” I remember distinctively thinking I want to throw a piece of cookware at his face and I was like, “That’s not a normal human reaction. I’m turning into a psycho. What is this pill?” So, I had a massively adverse reaction to it.

Ben:  I have a little stash up in my pantry for–it’s an anti-narcoleptic drug. If I fly in from an international trip and I get home like 2:00 a.m. and let’s say I have a podcast to record at 8:00 or my kids want me to go to their Friday assembly and I’ve gotten home from Tokyo at 2:00 a.m. or whatever, I will pop it in a case where I know that otherwise, I would be unlikely to be able to keep my eyes open. Because that’s what it’s designed for, to keep you from falling asleep during the middle of the day, but what it does is it actually stimulates a part of your brain called the hippocampus to release a whole bunch of what’s called acetylcholine, which technically is the ingredient of a lot of nootropics and smart drugs. It gives better cognitive performance and better memory. It actually works. But the other thing that it does is it jacks up through the roof your levels of dopamine.

So, what this means is short-term, if you’ve got low levels of acetylcholine, or let’s say you just don’t need a lot of egg yolks and walnuts and when you take modafinil, you’re not thinking ahead and supplementing also with acetylcholine, within a couple of hours, you develop a lot of the symptoms you just alluded to, like you get cranky and you get weird and you get irritable. But what concerns me when you talk about this unnamed person who used it for 10 years every day is when you jack up dopamine levels to that amount every single day, you develop insensitivities to dopamine. Like nothing feels as good when you’re not on modafinil like sex or music or movies, or it’s like–have you been to the website, yourbrainonporn.com?

Jordan:  Actually, yes, I have. I did a show about that a million years ago. That’s right. I forgot about that.

Ben:  Yeah. It’s like a pornography user typically needs increasingly, shall we say, deviant porn in order to get the same effect or they have difficulty getting pleasure from a normal sexual relationship or just like a “normal” woman versus what they’re looking at on a porn website because they just developed this complete insensitivity because they’re just jacking up their dopamine over and over again with porn. Kind of similar with modafinil, when you’re on a long time, you just eventually exhaust your dopamine levels.

Jordan:  That is, yeah, obviously a terrible side effect. First of all, I get a lot of interesting things in my inbox as I’m sure you do as well. I do an interview with Dr. David Buss or Dr. Matthew Walker on sleep or just some kind of crazy expert that people haven’t heard of, and my inbox typically will fill up from guys and gals, young and old, but one thing I’ve noticed in the last few years that I don’t remember before was a lot of younger guys in their 20s, 30s saying, “Hey, I’m pretty sure I have erectile dysfunction that’s been induced from growing up with porn.”

That is terrifying because we didn’t–I don’t know about you, I didn’t have access to anything like that until probably college where I actually then had access to real women. And it was like I had an insatiable appetite for both but then after a short while you realize, “Okay. Well, there are tons of real women. I am in college.” And so we had a choice to deal with both of those things. But if you are in middle school and your first exposure to women is hardcore free porn on the internet, how the hell are we going to fix that? And that’s an entirely different conversation but with this modafinil and with all of this sort of nootropics, I feel like we’re playing a little bit with fire here and I don’t want to sound like the old guy or like the puritan. But when people are doing different types of generic modafinil for a decade straight, we’re running headlong into a wall here.

Ben:  Yeah, yeah, I agree. And in the case of a porn user and erectile dysfunction, I don’t think it’s erectile dysfunction. It’s just brain dysfunction, like you’re simply not producing the chemicals. So, let’s say you have the mechanics to be able to get it up, you just aren’t producing the dopamine and the other arousing chemicals that allow you to do it because you’ve just pretty much developed an insensitivity to those. Although I should note that I did have a 288K personal modem when I was in high school and I do remember when I visited a porn website and sat at the edge of my sheet for nearly 10 minutes waiting for a naked woman to appear. I do remember those days of pixelated images on the internet.

Jordan:  Yeah, a static image.

Ben:  Right, right.

Jordan:  Yeah, for a static image to download. And I think that might be even a different beast than what we have now, which is like open seven tabs with seven different videos that are uploaded instantly.

Ben:  Clickety click, click. Hey, speaking of porn, by the way you, I think–and if this is something you don’t want to talk about, just feel free to move on. But I think you told me that you set the record on the Kegel Camp app at one point.

Jordan:  I did.

Ben:  Tell me about this.

Jordan:  So, this is pretty funny and a blast from the past. So, Emily Morris from Sex with Emily has this app called the Kegel Camp where she did literally seven years ago probably when I got it at first. And it’s like you squeeze and release, you squeeze and release, right? And I was like, “Oh, this isn’t doing anything.” And she’s like, “Just keep going.” And I’m like, “Alright. Cool.” So, I went and there was something like 10 levels in the app and I got to level 10 and I go, “Hey, I’m on level 10. It’s pretty easy now.” She’s like, “Well, are you seeing results?” I was like, “Oh, you bet, yeah.” I probably don’t have to explain what those results are. When you have super strong Kegel muscles, there are a lot of different great results like not having to go to the bathroom a lot, which was the most useful one but definitely not the funniest one. But then she added 10 more levels and I made it all the way through Level 20.

And when I got there, I texted her and I was like, “Hey, what’s going on? You know, Level 20, I’m starting to do it.” She goes, “I didn’t even think Level 20 was possible.” She’s like, “I just added it in there and extrapolated. You’re the only person I know who’s made it that far.” So, yeah, I have the record so far in Emily Morris’s Kegel Camp app. And this was incredible because I’m one of those guys with a walnut-sized bladder that drinks a ton of liquids all day and stays super hydrated and is possibly overhydrated so I have to actually be careful with it. But I realize like, “Oh my gosh, I can control a lot of things, a lot of elements of having that urge.” And of course, there are sexual side effects that are very positive from being able to do crazy amounts of Kegels.

And I will also say that there’s a lot to be said for feeling like you can control the system down there because as a man, I think often we are reactive to that system, and which we’re sitting there with our fingers crossed hoping during sex that we don’t have problems with it. Beforehand, we’re hoping we don’t have problems with it especially if you’re one of those guys who wrote to me watching too much porn. And then also, I’ve heard of plenty of guys who are taking flights and things like that. And I don’t know, this is an entirely separate problem, a lot of guys are having–and I mean not 20-year-old guys but guys in their 40s and 50s are having issues with things like bladder control and I’m like, “Where’s this coming from? I don’t understand.”

Ben:  Yeah, urinary incontinent. It actually happens to guys, too. The whole Kegel thing is interesting because I actually download this app, this Kegel Camp app. I think it was after you told me about it and messed around with it. It reminded me very much of, I think it was maybe seven years ago or so, I wrote an article called The Private Gym. Have you heard of this thing called The Private Gym?

Jordan:  I feel like I have but possibly from you, yes.

Ben:  Okay. So, our mutual friend, Jordan Gray, the relationship coach Jordan Gray.

Jordan:  Oh, yeah.

Ben:  Another Jordan who’s been on my podcast before. I remember when we were at an event. I think it was one of our little mastermind events that we all go to. He was telling me about his wet towel exercise where he put a towel on your erection, just a small dry hand towel and you practice lifting that when you get an erection and then —

Jordan:  That’s funny. I feel like I accidentally invented that when I was 12 and I just kept doing it because it’s funny. So, maybe that’s why I’m so successful at Kegel Camp.

Ben:  And you progressively graduate to a larger towel and then you get the towel wet. Well, this company, Private Gym, developed an actual magnet that wraps perfectly around the penis that has progressively larger sizes of the magnet and so you can do progressive resistance training with your penis very similar to a Kegel exercise. And I remember for the article that I wrote, I spent–my wife would laugh at me because I would do it in the bathroom, in the bedroom, but I spent about eight weeks training with this device. And one of the side effects that I noted was, A, way better urinary control, and B, for those of you who deal with things like constipation and bowel movement issues, way better control over that function as well.

A lot of people think Kegels are for women who want to train for incontinence or for some kind of a sexual effect, or men who want to train for something similarly, but there appear to be a wide range of ancillary side effects from doing Kegels. So, if anything comes off of this podcast, I think everybody should download the Kegel Camp app and–I don’t know, maybe we should get them to sponsor the show.

Jordan:  Maybe, yeah. But just be careful. I feel like you’re going to end up talking–our next episode in a year is going to be about how you deadlift now with using only your penis, and that’s going to be dangerous for everyone involved. So, make sure you throw a little asterisk with some insurance or something at the end of this one.

Ben:  Yeah. Yeah. Maybe somebody can invent some kind of an attachment for a hex bar like some–I can imagine some kind of a sleeve that goes in the front of the hex bar for those who have graduated to that level. So, we haven’t really talked about anything that I planned on asking you yet. Here we are 20 minutes in.

Jordan:  That’s right, Kegel battle attachment. We do have time.

Ben:  Yeah.

Jordan:  We do have time to get to relevant information as well. I’m totally open to that.

Ben:  Yes. Okay. Maybe we should focus on something useful. So, here’s this, have you heard about this book–because I know you’ve had them on your podcast but I don’t know if you’ve seen his book. Robert Greene has this book called, “Laws of Human Nature.” Have you seen this one?

Jordan:  Oh, yeah. I read that book right before it came out and I interviewed Robert Greene on the Jordan Harbinger Show for two straight hours and so far, it’s been one of the most popular–it’s the most popular episode of the show. It was something like 430,000 downloads so far. He is incredible and that episode was everything that I ever wanted in a podcast episode, just incredible.

Ben:  That book, besides alerting to me how much of a narcissist, like a closet narcissist I probably am based on his description of narcissism. And he does have a fantastic chapter in there about how to be a good narcissist, like how to turn all of those inclinations around and actually develop a true appreciation for other people and use narcissism to become a good leader. But he gets hardcore into nonverbal communication skills, which I know that you’re kind of an expert at. So, I’m curious when you interviewed him, did you have any kind of major takeaways or things you learned from him in the realm of nonverbal communication?

Jordan:  Yeah. It’s funny with nonverbal communication. I started off learning verbal and nonverbal communication for the purposes of networking when I was a Wall Street attorney and I wanted to generate business for my law firm. And so, I thought about, “Alright. How can I master getting to know people and networking?” And it actually came down largely to nonverbal communication because it’s not what you say that creates those first impressions; it’s the way that you appear to other people when they notice you. So, when you become a blip on their radar.

And then, of course, I started taking classes like Dale Carnegie and things like that. Of course, the advice there is, “Look him in the eye and have a firm handshake.” And I thought, “Okay. If somebody doesn’t like you or isn’t giving you a million dollar legal contract, it’s probably not because you didn’t look him in the eye or have a firm handshake. There’s something else going on.” So, I spent the last decade and changed learning all I could about nonverbal communication. There are so many things out there that are flawed or oversimplified, or it’s like if their feet are pointing towards the door, they’re thinking about leaving. It’s like, “Ugh, maybe.”

And more recently, I started training three-letter agencies on verbal and nonverbal communication and things like that. I actually had a really interesting experience right after the Robert Greene interview where I was dealing with a lot of former clandestine operations people from the Central Intelligence Agency and we were all in a room together. I didn’t know who they were; I just knew the one guy who I was speaking with was. And I said, “You know, when we met at this party, I could tell right away that you were a former spy. It was either that or a professor.” And he said, “Oh really? Why?” Because he was undercover in Africa for like 10 to 20 years or something like that. So, not a good look when some random dude at a party can spot you out of the crowd. And he said, “There are other people here that I used to work with. Do you have any idea who they are?” And I got something like 8 to 11 out of the 15. And I say 8 to 11 because I was on the fence about a few of these 15 people that were in the room.

Ben:  Wow.

Jordan:  And we’ve actually tried to figure out and codify this because it’s potentially very dangerous if somebody who just walked in and talked with people for 20 to 30 minutes can pick these people out. That’s really, really bad. And they’re really good at picking each other out of a crowd, and that’s fine but it’s terrible if a random civilian can pick these people out because these are life or death situations a lot of these people find themselves in. These are guys and gals that go undercover in Iraq, Syria or elsewhere and have to deal with a lot of dangerous situations in Pakistan and elsewhere. So, this is not good.

And what we’ve codified as a result of this was a system of personality archetypes similar to what I’ve been using for a while but really, really specifically geared towards high performers. And what I’ve noticed actually, and that’ll be of interest to you, is that athletes, high performing physical competitors and things like that actually have a lot of similar nonverbal communication. And I’m not sure what causes this but I think it’s a lot of physical confidence and situational confidence that probably comes with dominating in sports and/or being undercover in the CIA which is no easy task. And I think it results in people sticking out in a way that for a spy is really bad, for an athlete or high performer can be really good but also has the side effect of being potentially intimidating.

And I don’t know if you’ve heard this from your show fans and from people that you work with but a lot of athletes come across as intimidating. And I don’t just mean like boxers and MMA fighters. I mean, there are track and field athletes that they’ll tell me things —

Ben:  Yeah. I mean, the CrossFitters, anybody who’s fit, really. I always, and hopefully this doesn’t rabbit hole too much, I’ve always wondered if whether or not it’s just people feeling ashamed because it makes them feel like a slob or something when somebody fit walks into the room or if there’s something else going on.

Jordan:  There’s a little bit of both, and we can rabbit hole on this because I feel like it’s relevant here. There is an element of highlighting people’s insecurities when this happens, and this does dovetail with what we can discuss here in a second, but it does make sense. So, for example, you have this problem in general regardless of how fit you are, let’s say that you are 250 pounds but you should be like 190 and you’ve got a bunch of friends that you hang out with and you play Xbox all the time and they’re all 245, 235, whatever. When you start losing that weight, what’s going to happen? Some people might be proud of you but that group of guys or gals that you hang out with that’s at a similar level are probably going to resist it a little bit.

It’s not because they don’t care about you and it’s not because they actually want you to be unhealthy or suffer adverse consequences. The reason that this often happens is because whenever somebody who we deem to be the most like us undergoes a series of changes, the more like us we deem that person to be, the more uncomfortable we get as a result of those changes. I’ll repeat that just in case because it might be a little confusing. The more we look at somebody and we think they’re like us or we’re like them, the more any change in their status like their social status, whatever that means, whether that means physical appearance, physical fitness, income level, the way that they–for guys like you and I, any sort of media attention somebody gets for their business or if their podcast blows up or their YouTube channel blows up, something like this, the more we end up kind of taking that personally.

And the reason, one of the reasons that this happens is because we compare ourselves consistently to other people with whom we feel we’re on the same tier. So, this can be great because it can be self-motivating but it can also be really dangerous to our interpersonal relationships because–let’s say we as a group decide to, “Oh, let’s all get fit, guys. All we do is play Xbox all weekend. Let’s go to the gym and do some other stuff and then we can game after.” Well, if we all start off great, and then two months later, somebody falls off the wagon because their knee hurts then somebody joins them because they feel like, “Oh man, every time I do this, I get sick for a day after,” because they’re not used to the physical exertion. So, then those two guys start gaming.

Well, let’s say the third guy, that’s you or me, we stick with it because we’re starting to feel good and like the changes and we’re getting positive reinforcement from our wife and kids. Well, the problem happens later down the line. Those same gaming friends, they might not want to hang out and see us anymore and they won’t say, “Screw you, buddy. All you’ve done is get in shape. I should be proud of you but I’m jealous.” What they do is we rationalize in our brain some other reason like, “Oh, this person’s not as friendly or as fun anymore.” Or, “They’re rejecting us because all they care about is the gym and their half marathon and they never join our gaming sessions anymore. Jordan thinks he’s too cool to hang with us.”

This is totally normal human behavior, and the reason is because nobody wants to have this highlighted for them. If you go and win a Spartan Race like you did when you stayed over at my house in San Francisco a couple of years back, then I go, “Well, of course. Ben Greenfield won a Spartan Race. I understand that. That’s his thing. I’m happy for him but –“

Ben:  I don’t think I won it. I think I got second.

Jordan:  Oh, you came in second?

Ben:  Yeah.

Jordan:  Well, I’m trying to do some revisionist history here. It must be because I had the life —

Ben:  I like your memory though. That’s great.

Jordan:  I try to remember everything in an ideal scenario for those–the benefit of those on the show that are not me. So, yeah, it makes sense that you achieve something like that. I don’t feel any sort of self-esteem issue because you’re more athletic than me because that would be weird that a professional, essentially professional athlete and health guru such as yourself, you’re supposed to do things like that and I’m–it’s not part of my identity. But if somebody else who’s in my same lane does something, well, then I might start feeling insecure about it.

And we have to be really careful about this because we want to surround ourselves with healthy people both emotionally and physically, and I’m sure your audience is the epitome of this. They’re always working on themselves. The definition of biohacking is what? Eking out that last 1% to 5% of changes that are going to make a difference because you’re already eating and working out and sleeping right theoretically?

So, we have to be very careful that our rationalizations don’t get a hold of us. And I see this happening all the time and destroying people’s relationships even with their significant other because people start to think, “Uh-oh. My wife did this or my brother did this or my close friend did this.” The fact that I’m not doing it, all my excuses are pretty much gone.” If the guys I’ve been hanging out with every weekend who have the same income level and the similar family situation, one guy gets in shape and the rest of us don’t, I start to see that I could do this but I’d chosen not to. And the cognitive dissonance where I have to rationalize why they did it and I can’t, it becomes so much work that I don’t want to face it anymore.

And this, I find, actually can stop people dead in their tracks from self-improvement because if by improving you become socially isolated, that’s a really strong trigger for a lot of people, especially people that aren’t in great shape, because if you’ve been in bad shape or mediocre shape your entire life, well maybe you were bullied. And even if you weren’t, even if you were just bullied period, you might have a trigger button built-in that says, “Oh, when people start treating me like this, I start feeling really horrible and isolated.”

This can be a trigger that people will actually choose to be less fit, less healthy, eat more junk, sit around more and derail their fitness plans because they want to keep their friends. And this is extremely dangerous. And so this is a good rabbit hole to go down I think even though it distracted from your original question because I see this happening all the time and it doesn’t have to be with fitness. That’s an example that’s great for the show but it can be somebody who’s a go-getter at work and their colleagues aren’t. It can be somebody who has decided to have kids and so all of their business go-getter entrepreneur friends split off from them. It can be somebody who decides to start a business instead of working for the man and then they find that, “Oh, you know what? My friendship and social circle has started to die out.”

So, we really do sort of have a magnet for what’s comfortable. The problem is it doesn’t have to be what’s comfortable for us; it can be what’s comfortable for those around us.

Ben:  Well, hello. I want to interrupt today’s show to tell you about Christmas in a cup. That’s right, Christmas in a cup. I promise I won’t talk about it. I talk like a grandma during one of those commercials a while ago and I think it disturbs people. So, I won’t talk like a grandma but what I can tell you is that if you’re sitting back in your rocking chair, preparing to open your stockings or hang the stockings with care by the fireplace or however that old Christmas poem goes, you want to be holding in your hands a wonderful heartwarming cup full of smooth coconut milk, cinnamon, ginger, lemon balm, super mushrooms just like grandma used to eat.

And this is all like a super healing golden juice. Good for the stomach, good for the gut, for the joints, for inflammation. It’s like those golden juices that you get at the coffee shop with none of the sugar and crap added to them, it’s just pure, golden milk. It’s full of anti-inflammatory spices, and did I mention, it tastes like Christmas in a cup. So, it’s called Organifi Gold. They also have a red juice that’s got some really good anti-aging and blood building properties to it; a green juice that saves you all the chopping and the cutting and the smoothie building. Just put it in water or anything else that you would like such as chili. No, don’t put it in chili. Put it in like maybe almonds milk or coconut milk, blend it up or use a latte frother. Organifi is offering 20% off of all their fine powders. You go to organifi.com. That’s Organifi with an I. Organifi.com. Use discount code Greenfield. It’s going to automatically save you 20% when you use code [email protected]

Also, right now, I’m not lying to you, right now I am wearing Birdwell Beach Britches. My wonderful Birdwell Beach Britches. I’m actually in California while I’m recording this if the audio sounds a little funky compared to the audio that you were hearing while I was interviewing Jordan. And these Birdwell Beach Britches, what they use are materials that are fashioned from or inspired by sailboats, sailboat sales particularly. And that means that they are completely unbreakable.

They literally inspect every single individual seam and stitch in grommet and if anything breaks, lifetime guarantee. You send it back to the factory, they fix it. They build these things for all shapes and sizes. And if you live in a cold climate like let’s say you’re in Siberia or Alaska or maybe some glacier in Russia, listening to this, the good news is they also have competition jackets, they have wonderful winter and fall wear, too. They’re light and rugged competition jacket just like the shorts will survive decades of adventures.

So, you get 10% off of anything from Birdwell Beach Britches on your first purchase. You also get a lifetime guarantee and free shipping over 99 bucks. So, go burn up some of that Christmas cash you just got or you’re about to get and go to birdwell.com. That’s B-I-R-D-W-E-L-L.com and the discount code that you use at birdwell.com is–brace yourself, you guessed it, Ben. If you guessed Greenfield, you’re wrong, it’s Ben, [email protected]

Yeah, for the people you’re hanging around. That makes perfect sense especially I know we have a lot of our listeners who are into things like intermittent fasting, which a lot of people don’t get when all of a sudden you aren’t joining in on whatever–whether it’s the Saturday morning church breakfast or the weekday feeds at the office. All of a sudden you’re the odd person out and I think that gets in the way of a lot of people adhering to whether it’s an intermittent fast or a lunchtime workout when you’re suddenly skipping out on lunch and you’re on the stair mill on the gym instead.

And I think it works in reverse, too. You’re no doubt familiar with the idea that the more your friends tend to fall into the category of overweight or obese, the more likely that you are overweight or obese. It’s kind of a relatively obvious scenario in which you are the equivalent of the five people that you spend the most time with but it really flushes itself out, pun intended, in the health and fitness realm where your fitness, your body weight, your eating protocols and diet, everything is very reflected by your friends and the people that you hang out with. And as you just alluded to, as soon as you start to strike out on your own or deviate from those patterns, you tend to create whether jealousy or anger or bitterness or some kind of alienation from that same group.

Jordan:  Absolutely. And I’ll take you one further. This is kind of terrifying. I talked about this as well with I believe Dr. David Buss on the show as well. There are network effects that are just terrifying. So, for example, you mentioned–what is that phrase? You only go as high as your five closest friends or you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. There are network effects that say things like–even if you and I, Ben, don’t have–let’s say we have no overweight friends because everyone around us is healthy and a go-getter, that’s great. I mean, it’s highly unlikely. That’s great but let’s imagine that it’s that way just for kicks.

The network effect of any of the people that we know also having friends that are unhealthy and overweight, we still suffer negative network effects from that. So, you heard me right. Even if you and I don’t know a single overweight unhealthy person in our life, which is impossible, even if the people close to us have close friends that are overweight and unhealthy, we still suffer network effects. And there is peer-reviewed research that shows unhealthy habits creeping in like freaking LinkedIn connections where it’s like you’re a second-degree connection, you’re a third-degree connection.

That person’s BS vaping habit or whatever is still at some level having a network effect on us. And I’m not exactly sure how this functions. It probably isn’t–well, you’ve got friends that do vaping and smoke cigarettes all the time so we’re going to end up smoking at some point. It’s not necessarily like this. It probably has to do with the way that people eat, the type of food that we’re around, social activity.

I’m not exactly sure how they did this study but the fact that there are network effects is really terrifying because that means that we can’t just surround ourselves with amazing people and be isolated from those negative influences, we actually–or it’s not possible unless we’re in some sort of elite military unit that never sees anybody else and only is surrounded by each other all the time. We are going to have those negative influences creep in. So, it’s important to have your own set of discipline, habits and ideas on how things are supposed to be done and really to stick to them because we think we’re doing great on our own, we think we’re resisting, but if anyone in our close circle is unhealthy or even in their close circle is unhealthy, it will still creep in. So, we have to really rely on our own systems. We can’t just say that we’re never tempted because it’s not realistic. It’s just not what the science shows.

Ben:  Yeah. Yeah. So, coming full circle back to athletes or people who are fit, being intimidating. When we walk into a room when we’re hanging around with people who may not fall into that category, what are some of the nonverbal communication skills that you teach to allow us to be better received in that type of scenario?

Jordan:  Right. So, it’s not as simple as, “Oh, this person’s an athlete so they stand up straight, so they look great,” or they’re, “Oh wow, they’re wearing clothes and they look like they’ve got good musculature.” Everyone’s intimidated. It’s actually a little bit —

Ben:  My Welcome to the Gun Show t-shirt.

Jordan:  Yeah, exactly, exactly. Some of that might do it right but that’s really not necessarily what we’re looking for. What we’ve found is that a lot of people who are athletic or are competitors in some way, they don’t necessarily have to be athletic but of course most elite athletes or even mid-tier athletes are very competitive people. That’s why you all get into that stuff in the first place. We find that we’re competitive. And what this does and the personality archetype scale that we developed for the Jordan Harbinger Show, the competitor is generally where most of us live. Athletes and high performers tend to be more of a competitor than most other people.

The other personality archetypes for reference are things like the doormat, somebody gets walked all over. The bully or somebody tries to drag people down to their level. Competitors are relatively healthy archetype because again, that’s where these high performers live. But the problem we have is as athletes or as high performers, we often look at relationships or at least to competitive relationships as zero-sum. And what that means is, “I have to be better than other people because that’s how I get social approval. If I don’t get it, they are going to get it and then it means something about myself.”

Robert Greene and I touched on this with the idea of toxic envy, and that we can talk about in a little bit if you’re interested. But the problem that we see with competitive people is often there’s covered up anxiety. It’s not clinical anxiety, right? This isn’t something you’re dragging yourself with that event all the time. But we often feel self-conscious, anxious, fearful or uncertain or unstable especially with regard to our sense of self because often athletes, high performers, our sense of self for years, especially if we’ve been that way our whole life, has been derived from the approval of others.

And then we spend our whole adult life being like, “I don’t need anyone’s approval. I’m going to the gym for myself and I’m competing for myself.” And often, that may be true but I’m sure you’ve seen this, Ben, it’s just as often the result–maybe we’re doing it now. Maybe we’re going to the gym for ourselves now but maybe when we started it was because we wanted the opposite sex to find us more attractive. It’s kind of like ask any musician, “How did you start playing guitar?” The answer probably wasn’t, “Well, I just loved the sweet, sweet melody of that bass.” It was, “To get women to like me,” or something like that, right?

Ben:  Oh yeah. Me, I originally began weightlifting so that I could get good at tennis/impress my female tennis instructor who I had a crush on. Same thing with running the hills back behind my house and then even though it really struck strictly with being–strength conditioning, we want to be a better tennis player through high school. Once I got to college, of course, it was about being a sex symbol and lifting weights to basically create that Adonis-like figure that I thought that women around me at university would respect. And then once I got married, it turned into–kind of came full circle and started turning in back into training for performance for like Ironman or Spartan or whatever.

And now, I’m actually at this crossroads now because I’m slowly kind of getting out of the competitive sports realm. And so now, I’m at this junction where I’m trying to develop the motivation to stay fit because I know it makes me feel good and will help me live a long time and will help me play basketball with my kids better. And basically, I’m having to develop this whole new set of rules, but you’re right, motivations change as you progress through life.

Jordan:  Exactly right. So, you’re starting to feel a little bit more of internal, I guess drive and of course doing it for your kids and you realize at some conscious and subconscious level, your kids don’t care if you have a 12-pack instead of a 6-pack of abs. And so your goals change. And so what I’ve noticed is that with competitive archetypes, we find ourselves comparing ourselves to other people on specific dimensions like wealth, looks or influence. With athletes especially, it has to do with the level of fitness, a lot of it, and this is totally fine.

Look, using other people’s status as motivation to become better is completely fine. The problem is when we build ourselves up or tear ourselves down using that comparison because yes, it’s great if you say, “Wow. Ben is in really good shape. He’s doing yoga in my living room on a foam roller and my wife and I came home and there he was and I’ve never seen a guy with 0% body fat or whatever, it’s incredible.” That’s great.

Ben:  I think I was also wearing an elevation training mask because you happen to have one of those in your little bucket as well.

Jordan:  Yeah. So, it kind of looked like naked Bane in my–or Speedo-wearing Bane in my living room and I’d never really seen anything like that.

Ben:  Like Skinny Bane.

Jordan:  Skinny Bane, yeah, exactly. Using that to motivate yourself is great, it’s fine but the problem is when we engage in this judgmental observation privately or internally. Obviously, if you’re doing it publicly, it’s really unhealthy because now you’re starting to consciously place yourself above or below other people and you will spend your entire day with your self-esteem fluctuating based on who you are around and what angles you have that are better than what they do and what they do that’s better than you. And you’ll often have an emotional reaction to those people. And the problem is using those observations that we have to ourselves to explain our own success or lack of success can be really, really unhealthy and it results in both verbal and nonverbal communication that pushes other people away.

So, you hear it from elite athletes that feel really isolated and by nature, we think, “Well, of course. You’re a gold medalist. There are not many other gold medalists.” It’s not just that. It’s the fact that they’re so competitive that they’re actually pushing people away who are better than them in some way because the feeling is so uncomfortable, but they also don’t want to be around people who they clearly dominate, which is probably the majority of the world, because they feel like there’s nothing there that’s motivating them. And if this is a subconscious process, it’s quite dangerous.

And if this is confusing, some of the archetypical thoughts of a competitor are, “I wonder what they think of me.” Or, “That idea sucks, mine was better.” Or, “That idea was really good. I wish I had thought of it.” Or, “This person has advantages I don’t have. That’s probably why they’re getting ahead.” Or even something really simple like, “Well, they might have a great job but I have a better social life or I’m healthier than them even though –“

Ben:  Yeah.

Jordan:  And that can lead to really dangerous communication patterns that push other people away and then an athlete wakes up or a high performer wakes up one day and says, “Holy crap, I don’t have that many close relationships and it’s starting to take a toll on my emotional health.”

Ben:  Are there specific things that you do then with your body language when you walk into a room and you’re like an athlete or an exercise enthusiast you know you’re going to be the fit person to allow other people to feel more comfortable around you?

Jordan:  Yes, absolutely. So, remember what I said earlier in the show which is that you are judged non-verbally especially when you become a blip on other people’s radar. So, most people think that social interactions of any kind start when you open your mouth, and that’s not really true. It’s very tempting to think that because then we think we have control over how the interaction goes or how we’re perceived. And this is especially true like in a dating context. Guys will say, “What do I say? What do I do?” And that’s largely irrelevant. And women will ask the same thing but I think women are, of course, more clued into nonverbal communication just due to their place in evolutionary biology. There’s a safety concern for females that are not usually there for men.

And so we find that when people walk into the room, we subconsciously look at new people who enter a doorway all the time. And we find, often enough, that when we judge those people, it’s happening so fast, it’s happening subconsciously. And we often have an adverse or beneficial emotional reaction to that person. So, if you’re an athlete and let’s say you’re more muscular or even just taller, let’s [00:52:21] _____ that because I don’t want it to just turn into the game of physical mass, taller than somebody else, you automatically —

Ben:  Or you can lift the heavier magnet on penis gym.

Jordan:  That’s right. That’s right. You know that you’ve got Level 20 on Kegel Camp. You’ve got that in your back pocket. A lot of people will be intimidated by this, a lot of people have an adverse or comparative emotional reaction to this, and that can be highly problematic for you because now you’re going, “Crap, I’d spend all these years getting in shape and now people don’t like me because I’m making them feel bad about themselves.” And of course what we think is, “Well, screw those people. I don’t need their approval. I worked hard for this. I don’t care if they feel bad.” But remember, we’re the ones that are facing consequences, unfortunately, of this.

And so we might be tempted to be around other high performers as a solution and yet then we end up being even more competitive with those people and them of us. So, it can impinge on our relationships there, too. Actually, the problem that we find is not we need to have athletic people or high performers become more accessible. I don’t want people to walk in and be like, “I need to slouch so that people think I’m a schlubby slap and don’t have an adverse reaction.” What we actually need to realize is there’s not much that we can do to change this perception. And so we should actually stop trying to mitigate because subconsciously, athletes and high performers will often do this especially women, and I know you’ve seen this in your inbox.

Women will go, “Oh shoot, I’m in shape and I’m really tall. I need to slouch.” Have you ever heard this before? Athletic women will be like, “I need to slouch or I need to not wear heels or I need to pretend I’m stupid so that I don’t intimidate other people.” This actually rubs other people the wrong way because we can tell it’s disingenuous and then you start making relationships with people based essentially on a lie. So, in many ways, you’ve got to own it but on the other hand, you don’t want to do this in a way that’s going to really throw it in people’s faces. So, we make ourselves more friendly or more accessible.

And the way that we can do this is instead of having–if we’re worried about intimidating people as guys, you’d literally need to smile more when you shake hands. And I know that sounds incredibly basic but you’d be shocked. When we videotape military Special Forces, intelligence agents, one of the things we do is we do video work where we will film them in interactions. One of the most obvious tells is this sort of really tight jaw and the firm handshake with the eye contact, it’s great but it’s really, really intimidating for a lot of people because remember, it’s not the handshake that’s intimidating, it’s not the lack of smile that’s intimidating, it’s the fact that you are clearly very physically able and agile and you aren’t letting us in at all.

So, we want to be much more accessible especially for guys. We want to smile more, we want to listen to what people say and do, laugh at their jokes even if they’re not necessarily that funny. You don’t have to lay on a completely fake façade, don’t get me wrong. I love authenticity even though I hate the word authenticity because I think it’s overused in silly. But for us as competitive people, we often will be inside our own heads and so that makes us seem unfriendly. Does that make sense? Like if we’re thinking about how we measure up to other people, other people are already intimidated by our physical presence. So, if we’re sitting there in our head and people are talking, we’re not reactive, that makes us even more intimidating. So, its presence and accessibility that make us look more accessible and more like somebody that shouldn’t scare the wits out of us as a competitive archetype.

Ben:  Yeah. It’s actually very similar to, for example, what I was reading in Robert Greene’s book when you allude to the idea of smiling, even if you maybe don’t feel like smiling. But he talks about method actors and how they actually learn to recall certain scenarios in their memory in which they, let’s say really, truly were happy. Like I’m the athletic guy, I walk into the room, my jaw is set, I’m ready to look you in the eye and give you a firm handshake and all of a sudden, I learned from Jordan on this show that I should instead maybe like hold back on the vise grip and give a true authentic smile when I’m greeting someone and not look them in the eye with extreme intensity.

Well, how do you do that without creating the complete opposite, like a fake smile with no crow’s eyes that’s obviously just like a fake smile? Well, Robert Greene in that book–what’s the name of the book again? It’s the Law–

Jordan:  The Laws of Human Nature.

Ben:  Yeah. The Laws of Human Nature. He talks about how you could actually recall a scenario in which you really, truly were happy or maybe you think of a crazy funny movie that you saw or something else that brought you joy so you’re actually able to create a smile that is authentic. It’s kind of difficult to explain but it’s this idea of actually learning to create authentic body language even when it might feel inauthentic. Does that make sense?

Jordan:  It does and the problem is that a lot of us, what we think as our authentic body language is actually the result of us trying to mitigate or change our first impression and we’re bringing this from childhood. So, people are wrapped up, especially us competitive archetypes. We’re wrapped up in our own emotions. We’re wrapped up in our own traumas. And this is a Robert Greene concept directly. We’re always reliving things from our childhood. If you weren’t athletic as a kid, now you’re compensating for that as an adult in some way. Even if it really is that you just enjoy physical activity and you changed, you’re still reliving things from your childhood.

So, other people who are reacting to you, you’re not really the trigger. The trigger is something that happened when they were four or five or fifteen years old. But this isn’t personal, but what we see is it’s not that guys and gals are walking through the doorway and being super look like The Rock and are scaring the crap out of everybody. Usually, it’s actually the other way around, especially with women, what we find is a lot of slouching, a lot of indirect or non-direct eye contact, a lot of trying to make themselves smaller and we’ll find–I even know–I don’t want to out anyone here but one of my friends is a very good MMA fighter and he was bullied as a kid because he had I guess a potbelly.

Ben:  Conor McGregor, is that your friend?

Jordan:  Yeah, yeah. My buddy, Conor McGregor. I don’t know if you’ve heard of him. He was bullied as a kid and people used to reach up his shirt and smack his stomach. Remember pink belly, you do that in school when you were a kid?

Ben:  No. I remember I was homeschooled.

Jordan:  Oh, yeah, that’s right. So, maybe your parents did it to you but the other kids didn’t, I don’t know.

Ben:  No. No. I had no friends nor did my parents touch my belly.

Jordan:  Oh my gosh.

Ben:  It’s horrible.

Jordan:  This explains so much. But they used to smack him on the stomach. And so he developed this habit of grabbing the bottom of his shirt and tugging on it. And the reason he did that was because of course he was self-protecting and we all have this. Now, he still does this as an adult. Nobody’s going to bully him because he will destroy people. Literally, what he does is knock people out for money, right?

So, it’s a little more complicated than that but he’s a showman when it comes to this and he’s a great person and everyone loves him but he still got this hang-up. We all have these little tells. And so often I’ll be coaching and talking with people who are high performers, especially if I’m dealing with military or intelligence agents and you’ll see these women who are like world champion skiers or something like that and I’ll say, “Do you work on the computer all day?” And they’re like, “Oh, not really. Why?” And I’ll go, “You’re slouching.” And they’ll go, “Damn it. I started doing that in middle school because I was taller than all the boys and I never shook the habit.”

And so this awareness around our physical and verbal and nonverbal communication is extremely important because it’s not that we’re walking into places and were intimidating everyone with our stature most of the time, it’s that the things we are doing to try to fit in socially are actually causing us harm because we know that the body leads the mind and the mind leads the body but what we’ve found in what Robert Greene discusses in The Laws of Human Nature is that often these beliefs are shaped by us when we’re young and by events when we’re young and it shows up in our nonverbal communication. And to illustrate this, I had lunch recently with a bunch of ex-military guys that now do protection force like Elon Musk and Bill Gates in these sort of high-level Silicon Valley entrepreneur billionaire guys. And I remember–

Ben:  Dude, Elon Musk has a flamethrower. He doesn’t need bodyguards.

Jordan:  He doesn’t but you never know. Someone could sneak up on you when your flamethrower is still warming up. And I said, “Hey man, this is random but –” First of all, we’re talking about what we could do for the organization and I said, “This is random but were you the youngest of a set of siblings?” And he said, “Yeah.” And I said, “Did they bother you when you’re a little?” And he goes, “Yeah. We still don’t get along to this day. Why?” And I said, “The way that you’re sitting right now and the way that you’re talking right now and whenever I talk and we talk at the same time, you always cede to me and then you look down.” I could tell that he was bullied when he was younger but he’s so naturally fit and athletic. I thought there’s no way that it’s just kids at school because he would just destroy them. And so it must have been somebody in his family or his parents. And it turned out that his older brother, this particular individual, bullied him to the point where they actually don’t have a close relationship even now.

And so, this is all visible from nonverbal communication and it sounds like black magic when I can walk into a room and see somebody that I’ve never met before and wondered if they were bullied as a child by their siblings. But all of these personality archetypes, everything that I used to read other people and teach spies and whatever else to read other people, all of this stuff is from seeds planted ala Robert Greene’s book, The Laws of Human Nature, from when we were kids. And so this type of baggage might feel like we’ve let it go but all of those signs were still shaped by that physically and emotionally.

And this might sound a little woo-woo but I don’t think it’s beyond the realm of comprehension. For those listening to this show, I know you all do mostly biohacking but everything that you do when you walk into a room, all those first impressions, all the way that you relate to your friends and family, all of this has been shaped by who you were as a kid, and I can see it, and other people can see it. Even if we can’t put our finger on it, people will react to you in that way because nonverbal communication is all evolved.

Ben:  Yeah. Yeah.

Jordan:  We don’t make it up. We don’t have rules really other than some cultural things like handshakes or bowing if you’re in Japan. But the rest of it is evolved. You have a one millisecond whatever impression of somebody and it’s like 90% correct because of the way they—

Ben:  Yeah. Interesting. Now, I know we’re coming up on time but I want to ask a selfish question and kind of put you on the spot to see if–maybe this all just is biomechanical because I played tennis and had a right arm dominant sport growing up or something like that, but when I stand in a room, one thing that annoys me, when I see this in photographs, same thing, like why the heck am I doing that? I tend to stand with my shoulders back like rolled back especially my right shoulder, but even my left shoulder, like I stand with my shoulders back. That’s the best way I can describe it. Almost like thrust open with the right shoulder farther back than the left when I’m talking to people. Almost like my body’s torqued in some way especially when I’m engaged in conversation and I find myself even doing this like consciously, I’ll recognize it even if it’s not me looking at me in a photograph. Have you ever seen that or do you have any thoughts on that?

Jordan:  Yeah. I’ve actually noticed this about you in particular and–

Ben:  Crap. You’ve seen it too.

Jordan:  But it’s not a big deal. I just assumed that you had some sort of–it’s funny you should bring this out this exact example. I assumed that you had some sort of drill where you are constantly resetting your posture because you wanted to stand up straight and that that drill had a trigger that was conversational or you just noticed that other people were standing a certain way and you reset your posture but are you saying that’s completely subconscious?

Ben:  I wish I was that intelligent. No. I don’t know why I do it.

Jordan:  Interesting. Yeah, that’s super interesting. It’s hard to say why anyone does anything like that. I mean, if somebody has a specific set of nonverbal communication, it’s pretty easy to guess but just when you’re in photographs or is it mostly when you’re interacting with other people?

Ben:  Well, it’s photographs of me interacting with other people where I notice it.

Jordan:  Okay.

Ben:  I mean, sometimes when I’m interacting with other people, I actually also notice it.

Jordan:  How much physical affection did you have with your family when you were a kid?

Ben:  With my father, not much at all. I actually go out of my way to snuggle with my boys. I know my dad sometimes listens to my podcast and sorry, dad. I apologize when I put you on the spot on these things but yeah, with my father, not much at all. I don’t have many memories of snuggling or hugging or anything like that. With my mom, a little bit but we were–my wife when I talk with her, like her families just have like snuggle parties on the couch and there was just constant hugging and snuggling and that’s still like something she does with our boys, whereas, I have to go out of my way to remind myself to do it because I didn’t grow up in a house like that. So, probably less than average.

Jordan:  Okay. And of these photos of you interacting with other people, how many are you interacting with a man and how many are you interacting with a woman, and is the reaction in your body the same?

Ben:  Tough to say but I would say–man, that’s tough to say. I can’t say I’ve actually really paid attention to the difference between the sex of the person I’m communicating with.

Jordan:  You know, you can get back to me on this because I’m super interested in this particular thing. I mean, it’s not urgent obviously but I’m very curious because if it–I would hypothesize that you’re interacting with men and that you’re having sort of a physical reaction that is a little bit–not standoffish but that upright, extra upright posture with your shoulders back, it’s probably triggered by something usually, again as Robert Greene says, those patterns come from childhood. So, I’d be very curious. And if it’s women, it could be something completely different. I know you were brought up and still are quite the man of faith, and that may also have something to do with it. There are different theories for different reactions but this reminds me of something I discussed with Dr. David Buss. You’ve had him on the show, I assume. It’s something—

Ben:  No.

Jordan:  Have you not?

Ben:  No.

Jordan:  Oh, my gosh.

Ben:  You keep talking about him so I feel like I should. Who is he?

Jordan:  So, Professor David Buss is the world’s leading scientific expert on evolutionary psychology of human mating strategies which is a fancy way of saying, “Why the heck do men and women do all this weird stuff? Oh, it’s because of this thing in our past that caused it.” So, one of the things that we discussed on his interview on the Jordan Harbinger Show was what dating apps are doing to our brains with the amount of variety to allude to our conversation earlier about porn, mate switching strategies. So, why affairs happen and the mechanisms that are at play and why mating strategies tend to be universal even if, let’s say cultural variations seem to suggest otherwise? And there are just so many interesting things that we discussed.

With him also, we discussed a little bit of nonverbal communication and sort of what these strategies are especially when it comes to–you can see pictures of people in some of his studies where they’ve had, this is this person with this partner and this is this person with someone they’ve had an affair with and the nonverbal communication is completely different. It might be really fascinating for your audience. He’s extremely interesting.

Again, also Robert Greene, with his ability to pull things out of what might look like thin air but is really just evolutionary psychology mixed with reading nonverbal communication I think is fascinating. Look, I don’t want to give the impression that I can look at anyone and be like, “You got two little Halloween candy when you were 11.” I can’t do that. I can certainly tell if you’ve had too much Halloween candy throughout the course of your life but I can’t really pinpoint specific events. But what I found was by being acutely aware–what’s that?

Ben:  Oh, no. I was actually going to see if you could identify the actual Halloween candy that I like growing up or whether because I used to go after the king-sized Butterfingers if that reflects on my right shoulder stance.

Jordan:  I was going to say Butterfinger but now no one’s going to believe me. No one’s going to believe me because you already outed it. But I want to leave with a drill because I know we are coming up on time. I want to leave with a drill, and this is especially good for —

Ben:  Another drill in addition to the wet towel and the penis one? Oh, geez.

Jordan:  Yes. I mean, I know we’re overloading people with the wet towel and the penis and Kegel Camp, but this is a drill that you can do in public and it won’t get you arrested. How’s that?

Ben:  Okay. Great.

Jordan:  This is called the doorway drill. And essentially, what this is is for a lot of us that try to mitigate behavior or have some sort of social anxiety or even those of us that maybe don’t have social anxiety but change the way that we appear to others in order to fit in better, this is called the doorway drill. Essentially, what we’re going to do is right now unless you’re driving, for example, stand up straight, chest up, smile on your face, shoulders back like Ben Greenfield in a photograph just an upright positive open body language type of communication.

Remember this particular posture. The smile on your face is key and this is the type of positive open confident body language that we want to communicate when people see us first. Not when we see people first, when we become a blip on their right radar, that’s when it’s important because that’s when they form their initial judgment. And so we want to do this every time we walk through a doorway. And that for the ladies out there who were too tall in middle school will get rid of the slouch. That for the guys out there who feel like they’re scaring all of the other men and women because of their build size or because of their level of athletic fitness, this will reset you to somebody who’s still upright but also quite accessible, approachable and friendly looking, in any case.

We do this every time we walk through a doorway. Now, the problem is you walk through doorways all day so you’re immediately going to be like, “Okay,” and then you’ll forget five seconds from now. So, grab those–you know those useless sizes Post-it notes that are like an inch wide and you’re like, “Nothing fits on here except for one word,” and they’re bright lime green?

Ben:  Yeah. Dude, those are for books.

Jordan:  Grab a stack of those. Those are for books. That’s right. They are.

Ben:  Yeah. [01:11:20] ______ in books.

Jordan:  I wouldn’t know. I use audiobooks. Grab those that have been in your drawer for 13 years and stick them up at eye level in the doorways you use most. So, like your home office, maybe your actual office. And since it’s a Post-it note, nobody’s going to be like, “What the heck is this weird thing?” You don’t have to write anything on it. Put it up in the doorframe at eye level and this interrupts our autopilot pattern response.

So, we walk through doorways, we’re never going to notice it. If we see that Post-it note before we walk through the doorway because it’s at eye level, what happens is we go, “Why is there a lime green–oh right, the doorway drill.” So, then you remember to reset your body. And you don’t have to do–in order to have Post-it notes all over town, if you have it in the doorways you walk through the most, you’ll start to reset your body several times a day, and that’s what creates this as a habit. And you’ll start to see people reacting to you much differently than you were before, than they were before. And we also know that other people’s behavior towards us is actually what creates our self-impression.

A lot of us think our impression is self-created and it’s totally not. It’s all based on the way other people treat us almost exclusively. So, when we have different nonverbal communication, we show up to other people in a different way, which causes them to treat us a certain way, which we then reinforced naturally in our behavior. So, what we want to do is reset so that we look open, positive, confident and friendly; have people treat us as such and then we don’t have to manually change our nonverbal communication so that we’re not intimidating. We actually naturally do this. Does that make sense?

Ben:  Yeah, yeah. It does. Interesting.

Jordan:  It creates that virtuous cycle and all it’s going to cost you is a half a stack of not even Post-it notes. And that we found has made an enormous difference in having groups like the Green Berets or military Special Forces units and groups like that show up as “normal people” because when you’re surrounded by these individuals and those network effects we discussed earlier are mitigated, so basically, we have that military look, you can mitigate that with the doorway drill.

And I’d like to think that this is going to help save some clandestine operations people’s lives out there because it’s going to be less obvious who and what they’re doing. But for at least athletes, military and other folks listening to your show, this is a hack that can, not only aid you socially but will also make you feel and look better and result in better social health throughout the rest of your life, and you don’t have to keep those Post-it notes up forever. After a couple months, you probably have this habit solidified.

Ben:  Yeah. And it just basically is doing exactly that, it’s creating this nonverbal communication habit that you can practice in your house before you actually get out and try it in the streets.

Jordan:  Exactly, exactly.

Ben:  Okay. Well, we know that we’ve done well with this podcast and really reached out to a lot of people if all of the tiny miniature Post-it notes on Amazon sell out. We know we’ve actually changed some lives with this show.

Jordan:  That’s right. That’s right.

Ben:  Maybe I won’t put a link to the mini Post-it notes in the shownotes but what I will link to are Jordan’s episodes particularly with Robert Greene and David Buss along with the books, “The Evolutionary Psychology” book and “The Laws of Human Nature” Book also by David Buss and Robert Greene respectively. I will also link to Jordan’s podcast, his website, the Kegel Camp app of course, and everything else we discussed. Maybe I’ll even put the link to the funky coffee that we talked about in the intro.

Jordan, it’s always a blast talking to you and tapping into just a little bit of the wide body of knowledge that you have on this stuff. So, thanks for coming on the show and sharing this with us.

Jordan:  Yeah, I really appreciate it. Look, I love your audience because it’s all these awesome go-getters and people that want to eke out that last 1% to 5%. And I feel like these are appropriate geek level folks who are going to really enjoy the things that we talk about on the Jordan Harbinger Show. Even if it’s not Dr. Matthew Walker with sleep and it’s just Molly Bloom talking about underground poker games, I feel like your audience can really relate. So, I’m looking forward to hearing what the Ben Greenfield Show fans think of the Jordan Harbinger Show because I think there’s great overlap in the right areas.

Ben:  Word. Alright. Show notes are at BenGreenfieldFitness.com/Jordan for those of you listening in, BenGreenfieldFitness.com/Jordan. Everything will be there and his show is the Jordan Harbinger Show. You can find it wherever fine podcasts are found. I’ll also link to that and his website in the shownotes.

Want more? Go to BenGreenfieldFitness.com or you can subscribe to my information-packed and entertaining newsletter and click the link up on the right-hand side of that web page that says, “Ben recommends,” where you’ll see a full list of everything I’ve ever recommended to enhance your body and your brain. Finally, to get your hands on all of the unique supplement formulations that I personally develop, you can visit the website of my company, Kion, at getK-I-O-N.com. That’s getK-I-O-N.com.

Jordan Harbinger is back!

In my first podcast episode with Jordan we talked about:

-What kind of body language mistakes that fit people with nice bodies make which hold them back socially…

-How to reprogram your brain to actually like and appreciate things like kale smoothies and ginger juice…

-A simple eye trick to get you to “fake it until you make it” with extreme social confidence…

-Why bars and clubs are not necessarily the places to go to to enhance your social intelligence and ability to build relationships…

-How I went from eating fast food, being ultra-shy and reading fantasy novels to being named as one of the world’s top 100 most influential people in health and fitness…

Jordan has always had an affinity for Social Influence, Interpersonal Dynamics and Social Engineering, helping private companies test the security of their communications systems and working with law enforcement agencies before he was even old enough to drive.

He has spent several years abroad in Europe and the developing world, including South America, Eastern Europe and the Middle East, and speaks several languages. He has also worked for various governments and NGOs overseas, traveled through war-zones and been kidnapped -twice. He’ll tell you – the only reason he’s still alive and kicking is because of his ability to talk his way into (and out of), just about any type of situation.

On his podcast, he gets deep into the untapped wisdom of the world’s top performers — from legendary musicians to intelligence operatives, iconoclastic writers to visionary change-makers, deconstructing the playbooks of the most successful people on earth.

Among the many things Jordan and I discussed here in Round 2:

-Various drug-related topics…2:42

Hefty CBD doses enhance deep sleep

Throw THC into the mix, sleep latency drops

Does it affect your health negatively during the day?

You are rested, just a little bit groggy.

Ultimate coffee mix to turn on the brain during the day

Ghee

Put in Four Sigmatic Lions Mane extract

Salt

Trace amount of Psilocybin

MiCacao

Stevia

Jordan’s adverse reaction to taking Modafinil and the reasons I use it

yourbrainonporn.com

Erectile dysfunction vs. brain dysfunction

Jordan set the record on the Kegel Camp App

-About Robert Greene and his book, The Laws of Human Nature…24:40

Non-verbal communication

Appearance is more important than words for first impressions

Much of what we believe is either flawed or just wrong

Jordan called out a former spy because of his NV communication

Codified a system of personality archetypes geared toward high performers

Why do Athletes and high achievers come across as intimidating?

Shame for their own inactivity

The more we look at someone and think they’re relatable to us, the more any change in them makes us more uncomfortable or resentful

Rather than congratulate them, people find excuses why achievers are snobby, arrogant, etc.

People don’t like their shortcomings highlighted

-Non-verbal communication techniques Jordan teaches to be better received if you’re an athlete or high achiever…43:40

Hidden anxiety regarding sense of self

Motivations change as you progress through life;

Comparison can be efficacious to your self-development and also very unhealthy

High achievers shirk others because they don’t provide any motivation

Soon you realize you have no close friends, it’s affecting your emotional health.

How to behave when you’re “that guy” to allow others to be more comfortable around you.

Make yourself more relatable

Smile more; loosen the jaw

-Recreating “authentic” body language, even if it feels inauthentic…57:30

What we think is “authentic” is often us manipulating our body language to give off a desired vibe.

-Jordan’s observations on an annoying body language quirk that I have…1:03:40

-And much more!

Resources from this episode:

–Jordan’s website and podcast

–Jordan’s interview with Robert Greene

–Jordan’s interview with David Buss

–MiCacao

–FourSigmatic Lion’s Mane

–The Kegel Camp app

-Ben’s article on The Private Gym

-Book: The Laws Of Human Nature

–Dr. David Buss books

–Mini Post-It Notes

Episode Sponsors:

–Kion Check out our steep discounts on product bundles (like the Daily Life Bundle). Check it out if you’re looking for ways to use those holiday gift cards!

–Organifi delivers quality nutrition to the world with delicious, easy-to-mix superfood drinks. Get 20% off your order when you use code “Greenfield” at check out.

–Birdwell Beach Britches “Quality is our Gimmick” isn’t just our slogan, it’s a commitment we honor with every stitch we sew. Use discount code “ben” at check out and get 10% off your order + free shipping on orders over $99.

Ask Ben a Podcast Question

Source: https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/transcripts/transcript-cbd-vs-thc/

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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[chimeperson23-blog]

[Transcript] – CBD vs. THC For Sleep, Microdosing Psilocybin, Can You Overdo Modafinil, How To Re-Program Your Body Language & Much More With Jordan Harbinger.

Podcast from: https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/podcast/lifestyle-podcasts/cbd-vs-thc/

[0:00:00] Introduction

[0:00:52] Podcast Sponsor

[0:02:45] Various Drug-Related Topics

[0:05:34] Ultimate Coffee Mix to Turn on The Brain During the Day

[0:09:10] Introduction to Jordan

[0:13:12] Taking Modafinil

Get The Low Carb Athlete - 100% Free!Eliminate fatigue and unlock the secrets of low-carb success. 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[0:18:34] Erectile Dysfunction Vs. Brain Dysfunction

[0:19:26] Kegel Camp App

[0:24:42] About Robert Greene And His Book

[0:29:30] Why Do Athletes and High Achievers Come Across as Intimidating?

[0:43:45] Non-Verbal Communication Techniques

[0:56:52] Recreating “Authentic” Body Language

[1:03:41] My Annoying Body Language Quirk

[1:08:00] Who is Dr. David Buss?

[1:09:35] The Doorway Drill

[1:14:20] Closing the Podcast

[1:15:58] End of Podcast

Ben:  I have a master’s degree in physiology, biomechanics, and human nutrition. I’ve spent the past two decades competing in some of the most masochistic events on the planet from SEALFit Kokoro, Spartan Agoge, and the world’s toughest mudder, the 13 Ironman triathlons, brutal bow hunts, adventure races, spearfishing, plant foraging, free diving, bodybuilding and beyond. I combine this intense time in the trenches with a blend of ancestral wisdom and modern science, search the globe for the world’s top experts in performance, fat loss, recovery, gut hormones, brain, beauty, and brawn to deliver you this podcast. Everything you need to know to live an adventurous, joyful, and fulfilling life. My name is Ben Greenfield. Enjoy the ride.

Hey, it’s Ben Greenfield. I interview my buddy Jordan today, Jordan Harbinger. We kind of just jumped right in. We hit record from the get-go because we always have these super amazing interesting conversations. You get to be the fly in the wall for this one and you are going to learn a crapton. We always have very, very interesting chats. You’re going to like this one. This podcast is brought to you by my company, Kion.

We have an amazing holiday and Christmas promotions going on right now. I realize we’re super close to the holidays, probably too late for you to actually go Christmas shopping at the time that this is coming out. But man, if you have a gift card or you got money for Christmas and you want to get like our super pure antioxidant rich coffee, the clean energy bar that I personally developed, pretty much took all the superfoods that I sprinkle on top of my smoothie in the morning and turn them into a bar with cacao nibs and almonds and sesame seeds and chia seeds and the gelatin equivalent of a half cup of bone broth, it’s all in there in the Kion Clean Energy Bar.

We’ve got our anti-aging skin serum, our gut healing colostrum, our Kion Lean which is basically the best weight management formula I have ever used. I take two of those every single night before dinner. I was at a steakhouse last night with some of my friends and I just break it out. I give it to everybody. It cleans up the liver if you’re drinking. It’s got rock lotus extract in it. That and so much more. Pretty much anything cool that I discover, you can find at Kion, K-I-O-N. So, you go to getkion.com, getK-I-O-N.com, and now is the time to go because we have a ton of prices totally slashed to the floor for the holiday. So, check it out, getK-I-O-N.com. Alright. Let’s go talk to Jordan.

Jordan:  Does consuming cannabis at night, it aids in deep sleep or it hinders deep sleep? I know it was one of the two and I just can’t remember which one it is.

Ben:  Based on testing, extensive self-testing, what I’ve found is that CBD especially in doses of like–pretty hefty, like 60 to 100mg, which is a lot when you consider a lot of CBD supplements like one serving. I don’t know why they sell it in such paltry amounts. It’s like 10mg, enhances deep sleep. So, CBD, by itself, enhances deep sleep without fail for me just based on my sleep tracking. Once you throw THC into the mix, you see a drop in sleep latency, meaning that it seems to kind of shut down ruminating thoughts, et cetera, but you also don’t seem to enter deep sleep cycles quite as intensively, which even if you’re not quantifying, you sometimes tell like you dream, which you don’t do as much during some of your deep sleep cycles. For me, I don’t wake up as rested if I say you–let’s say like an edible that has CBD and THC in it or some kind of an indica strain or something like that which is just pure CBD.

Jordan:  Yeah, because what I’ve been finding is if I wake up at let’s say 1:00 a.m. and I’m like, “Crap. I’m going to be awake all night now.” I tried it down a little bit of a tincture. And then I might pass out. Of course, the problem is it takes two hours to take activation or to take effect. But I wake up and I feel like, “Okay. I know that I just woke up but I don’t feel like that morning like, ‘Oh yeah. I’m good. Let’s do the day.'” I feel kind of like I know I was asleep but I don’t necessarily feel like I was asleep.

Ben:  That is very common with CBD. With CBD, a lot of times, you’ll wake up, you’ll be well rested but it takes like 10/15 minutes to shake things off. Kind of similar to melatonin, like if you take a bunch of melatonin, you get a pretty good night of sleep but it takes a little while when you wake up to really get going.

Jordan:  I guess my question is, does that affect your health negatively during the day or am I just groggy because I had a little bit of a substance, CBD, during the evening? Or is this like, “Hey, if you do this all the time, you’re feeling less rested because you actually are less rested”?

Ben:  You actually are rested. You’re just a little bit groggy. It takes a little while to shake it off. I think it has to do with the endocannabinoid system and the fact that it takes a little while. And there are things you can do to increase wakefulness. I was actually going to tell you about this because I know you and I like to geek out sometimes on ways to stimulate the body. And I think I have discovered the ultimate mix to really turn on the brain during the day. I’ve experimented with a lot of different nootropics and smart drugs but hear me out on this one.

What you do is very common like before adding coconut oil or butter or anything like that to your coffee or your tea, ghee was very popular. It’s like an Ayurvedic recipe from thousands of years ago, this idea of putting ghee into coffee or into tea and blending it, and borrowing from other elements of ancient wisdom and the nootropic world. And also this guy named Paul Stamets, who’s like a mushroom —

Jordan:  The mushroom guy.

Ben:  Yeah, the mushroom guy. What I do is when I wake up, I’m usually fasting for a while and I do a little bit of black coffee. But then for my second beverage of the day after I’ve done my fasted morning workout and all that jazz, what I’ve been doing is about a teaspoon to a full tablespoon of ghee. And then I put a couple packets of that Four Sigmatic Lion’s Mane extract into the NutriBullet along with the ghee. I do a little bit of salt, because it seems to kind of like make it more flavorful like a little bit of Celtic salt, a really good salt.

And then I do a very small amount of psilocybin like 0.1 to 0.2 grams, like barely perceptible amount but–and this is something Paul Stamets says. There’s a little bit of a synergism between the Lion’s Mane and the psilocybin. And the final thing that I put in there, even though Paul Stamets recommends like a niacin or kind of like a flushing type of compound, well, cacao and cacao flavonoids, those are notoriously good for vasodilation, opening up arteries. So, I have this tea–you know Tucker Max, right?

Jordan:  Of course, yeah.

Ben:  So, Tucker Max was talking to me at this conference and he told me he doesn’t drink coffee but he drinks this cacao tea in the morning.

Jordan:  Wasn’t I there for this conversation, actually?

Ben:  You might have been. You might have been on our table. So, I bought this, this My Cacao that he told me about and I put about a tablespoon of that in with the ghee, the Lion’s Mane, the psilocybin and the salt. And then just to make it taste good, I put a little bit of stevia in there. And then I blend that up, and holy cow, I’m just like ready to rumble for hours on end and you feel amazing. It’s something about the chocolate, the Lion’s Mane, the ghee and the psilocybin just opens you up for the entire day. So, it’s a pretty potent one.

Jordan:  So, you’re essentially micro-dosing with psilocybin then?

Ben:  Yeah, very, very, which is not uncommon, this idea of very small amounts of psilocybin to enhance your cognition. But this particular blend I like because it just–something about the ghee and the chocolate and it’s a little bit thick. It’s almost like you could eat it with a spoon. It’s just super good.

Jordan:  Wow. Okay. So, you’re doing this and you’re doing this every day?

Ben:  Well theoretically, you’re supposed to, when you do a micro-dosing schedule, micro-dose every three days. I don’t hit it exactly every three days but pretty much any day. And this comes out for me. I find it comes out for me to about three days of the week when I’ve got a need for higher amounts of cognition or output. Saturday and Sunday, don’t fall into that category, and usually, Friday doesn’t either. For me, it’s Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and/or Thursday. I do this and it works fantastically.

Jordan:  Gotcha. Okay. Perfect.

Ben:  Yeah. For those of you listening in, by the way, I hit record as I alluded to as soon as Jordan and I started talking. So, my apologies for the long intro for those of you who have no clue who the hell Jordan is. But Jordan, do you mind if I introduce you real quick?

Jordan:  I think that makes sense at this point, yeah.

Ben:  Yeah. It does seem to rather than you just being a random stranger that I’m talking to on the phone. Anyways, Jordan has been on the show before. He was actually on a show entitled How I Went From Eating Fast Food, Being Ultra-Shy And Reading Fantasy Novels, blah, blah, blah. It was a super long title and I think the title was more alluding to me than Jordan for some reason. I have no clue why I titled it that way but–

Jordan:  Yeah. I’ve never read a fantasy novel in my life.

Ben:  I know. Yeah. I went back and I was looking at it before recording, I’m like, “Why did I name this after me?” I think it must have been what we talked about. We mentioned about how to reprogram your brain and some cool eye tricks to improve your social confidence. We talked about bars and clubs and how to enhance your experience of those types of venues. We talked about body language mistakes. We talked about a lot of things that go into your area of expertise, which is broad but includes the whole idea that we’re going to unpack in greater detail today, which is nonverbal communication and cues that people sometimes subconsciously give.

But Jordan also has a couple of articles. He’s guest contributed to my site and I’ll link to all that. I’m going to put all the shownotes if you guys go to BenGreenfieldFitness.com/Jordan, BenGreenfieldFitness.com/Jordan. If you can’t spell Jordan, I’m sorry. My apologies. Google that. But anyways, Jordan has this huge interest in social influence and interpersonal dynamics and social engineering. He’s helped private companies test the security of their communication systems. He’s worked for law enforcement agencies, spent several fascinating years abroad in Europe and South America and Eastern Europe, in the Middle East. He speaks multiple languages. He’s worked for various governments and NGOs overseas. He’s traveled through war zones. He’s been kidnapped and I think you told this story on our last show twice.

Jordan:  Yeah.

Ben:  And he’s able to talk his way into and out of just about any situation. He actually has a podcast as well, the Jordan Harbinger Show. I’ll link to that, too. He gets a lot of really great folks on there like musicians and intelligence operatives and writers and visionaries and politicians and folks from all walks of life to deconstruct how they succeed. So, he’s got a fantastic show as well if that’s your thing, if personal development is your thing. He talks about way more than CBD and psilocybin.

Anyways, Jordan, welcome back.

Jordan:  Thanks for having me, man. I appreciate it. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time. It’s probably rare but we hang out much more in person than we do online and on shows, which I think is the inverse of most, what do you call it? I hate this word, influencer, friendships or whatever you’d want to call it.

Ben:  Yeah, digital friendships.

Jordan:  Digital friendships, yeah, which is a good sign. It means we’re actually friends in real life, which I think is probably in the scheme of things more valuable.

Ben:  I think so. Well, I mean there are books about that like, what’s her name? Sherry Turkle. I think her book, “Reclaiming Conversation” is the name of the title. She goes into how much is left on the table from eye contacts to the oxytocin release when you shake somebody’s hands to everything you need in a true flesh-and-blood relationship versus a digital relationship. And opening the kimono for those of you listening in, you know Jordan and I are part of different masterminds together. We get a lot of similar conferences together and I guess we’ve been friends for what, like probably six years now, maybe?

Jordan:  At least, yeah, because I’m trying to do the math in my head and yeah, it’s got to be around there, if not slightly longer. So, it’s great to have the ability to bounce complex stuff off of you and vice versa especially because the way we started this conversation was, “Okay. How does this affect sleep and what’s going on here?” Because for me, and I’m sure for everyone listening, the last thing we want to do throughout our life is develop habits that we think are bridging some sort of gap and then find out, “Oh, by the way, your brain died slowly over the last 10 years that you were doing X.” And I won’t mention any names here but I just heard about somebody that you and I both know, and I think this might be public knowledge, but he took modafinil for like a decade.

Ben:  Oh, really?

Jordan:  And I was just like–

Ben:  Geez, now I’m going to wonder who it is.

Jordan:  I can probably tell you off air. I don’t want to blow someone up on your show.

Ben:  No, don’t blow somebody up. Okay. So, he took modafinil every day?

Jordan:  For 10 years and I think it like–and it wasn’t just a tablet early in the morning. It was like, I think multiple times per day for a decade.

Ben:  Geez, man. What happened?

Jordan:  He’s alive and he’s running a company but that doesn’t mean that we won’t find out in 10/20 years what a decade of modafinil every single day does to your brain and body.

Ben:  Yeah. Have you used modafinil before?

Jordan:  So, I was going to ask about that and I think that’s an interesting point as well. I tried it and everyone’s like, “It’s amazing,” and I thought, “What the hell. I’ll give it a shot.” I was a cranky demon for the entire day and I experienced absolutely no side benefits. My wife just goes, “Whatever pill you took this morning, throw them all away or I’m divorcing you,” basically was the outcome of that situation because it was cranky like the hungry kind of cranky but not actually hungry. Just that same level of crank for no reason, and I was irritable.

And I remember hearing some mouth noise from a friend of mine who was smacking his lips on the couch. Normally, that would be like, “Oh, I don’t love that but whatever, it’s my own pet peeve.” I remember distinctively thinking I want to throw a piece of cookware at his face and I was like, “That’s not a normal human reaction. I’m turning into a psycho. What is this pill?” So, I had a massively adverse reaction to it.

Ben:  I have a little stash up in my pantry for–it’s an anti-narcoleptic drug. If I fly in from an international trip and I get home like 2:00 a.m. and let’s say I have a podcast to record at 8:00 or my kids want me to go to their Friday assembly and I’ve gotten home from Tokyo at 2:00 a.m. or whatever, I will pop it in a case where I know that otherwise, I would be unlikely to be able to keep my eyes open. Because that’s what it’s designed for, to keep you from falling asleep during the middle of the day, but what it does is it actually stimulates a part of your brain called the hippocampus to release a whole bunch of what’s called acetylcholine, which technically is the ingredient of a lot of nootropics and smart drugs. It gives better cognitive performance and better memory. It actually works. But the other thing that it does is it jacks up through the roof your levels of dopamine.

So, what this means is short-term, if you’ve got low levels of acetylcholine, or let’s say you just don’t need a lot of egg yolks and walnuts and when you take modafinil, you’re not thinking ahead and supplementing also with acetylcholine, within a couple of hours, you develop a lot of the symptoms you just alluded to, like you get cranky and you get weird and you get irritable. But what concerns me when you talk about this unnamed person who used it for 10 years every day is when you jack up dopamine levels to that amount every single day, you develop insensitivities to dopamine. Like nothing feels as good when you’re not on modafinil like sex or music or movies, or it’s like–have you been to the website, yourbrainonporn.com?

Jordan:  Actually, yes, I have. I did a show about that a million years ago. That’s right. I forgot about that.

Ben:  Yeah. It’s like a pornography user typically needs increasingly, shall we say, deviant porn in order to get the same effect or they have difficulty getting pleasure from a normal sexual relationship or just like a “normal” woman versus what they’re looking at on a porn website because they just developed this complete insensitivity because they’re just jacking up their dopamine over and over again with porn. Kind of similar with modafinil, when you’re on a long time, you just eventually exhaust your dopamine levels.

Jordan:  That is, yeah, obviously a terrible side effect. First of all, I get a lot of interesting things in my inbox as I’m sure you do as well. I do an interview with Dr. David Buss or Dr. Matthew Walker on sleep or just some kind of crazy expert that people haven’t heard of, and my inbox typically will fill up from guys and gals, young and old, but one thing I’ve noticed in the last few years that I don’t remember before was a lot of younger guys in their 20s, 30s saying, “Hey, I’m pretty sure I have erectile dysfunction that’s been induced from growing up with porn.”

That is terrifying because we didn’t–I don’t know about you, I didn’t have access to anything like that until probably college where I actually then had access to real women. And it was like I had an insatiable appetite for both but then after a short while you realize, “Okay. Well, there are tons of real women. I am in college.” And so we had a choice to deal with both of those things. But if you are in middle school and your first exposure to women is hardcore free porn on the internet, how the hell are we going to fix that? And that’s an entirely different conversation but with this modafinil and with all of this sort of nootropics, I feel like we’re playing a little bit with fire here and I don’t want to sound like the old guy or like the puritan. But when people are doing different types of generic modafinil for a decade straight, we’re running headlong into a wall here.

Ben:  Yeah, yeah, I agree. And in the case of a porn user and erectile dysfunction, I don’t think it’s erectile dysfunction. It’s just brain dysfunction, like you’re simply not producing the chemicals. So, let’s say you have the mechanics to be able to get it up, you just aren’t producing the dopamine and the other arousing chemicals that allow you to do it because you’ve just pretty much developed an insensitivity to those. Although I should note that I did have a 288K personal modem when I was in high school and I do remember when I visited a porn website and sat at the edge of my sheet for nearly 10 minutes waiting for a naked woman to appear. I do remember those days of pixelated images on the internet.

Jordan:  Yeah, a static image.

Ben:  Right, right.

Jordan:  Yeah, for a static image to download. And I think that might be even a different beast than what we have now, which is like open seven tabs with seven different videos that are uploaded instantly.

Ben:  Clickety click, click. Hey, speaking of porn, by the way you, I think–and if this is something you don’t want to talk about, just feel free to move on. But I think you told me that you set the record on the Kegel Camp app at one point.

Jordan:  I did.

Ben:  Tell me about this.

Jordan:  So, this is pretty funny and a blast from the past. So, Emily Morris from Sex with Emily has this app called the Kegel Camp where she did literally seven years ago probably when I got it at first. And it’s like you squeeze and release, you squeeze and release, right? And I was like, “Oh, this isn’t doing anything.” And she’s like, “Just keep going.” And I’m like, “Alright. Cool.” So, I went and there was something like 10 levels in the app and I got to level 10 and I go, “Hey, I’m on level 10. It’s pretty easy now.” She’s like, “Well, are you seeing results?” I was like, “Oh, you bet, yeah.” I probably don’t have to explain what those results are. When you have super strong Kegel muscles, there are a lot of different great results like not having to go to the bathroom a lot, which was the most useful one but definitely not the funniest one. But then she added 10 more levels and I made it all the way through Level 20.

And when I got there, I texted her and I was like, “Hey, what’s going on? You know, Level 20, I’m starting to do it.” She goes, “I didn’t even think Level 20 was possible.” She’s like, “I just added it in there and extrapolated. You’re the only person I know who’s made it that far.” So, yeah, I have the record so far in Emily Morris’s Kegel Camp app. And this was incredible because I’m one of those guys with a walnut-sized bladder that drinks a ton of liquids all day and stays super hydrated and is possibly overhydrated so I have to actually be careful with it. But I realize like, “Oh my gosh, I can control a lot of things, a lot of elements of having that urge.” And of course, there are sexual side effects that are very positive from being able to do crazy amounts of Kegels.

And I will also say that there’s a lot to be said for feeling like you can control the system down there because as a man, I think often we are reactive to that system, and which we’re sitting there with our fingers crossed hoping during sex that we don’t have problems with it. Beforehand, we’re hoping we don’t have problems with it especially if you’re one of those guys who wrote to me watching too much porn. And then also, I’ve heard of plenty of guys who are taking flights and things like that. And I don’t know, this is an entirely separate problem, a lot of guys are having–and I mean not 20-year-old guys but guys in their 40s and 50s are having issues with things like bladder control and I’m like, “Where’s this coming from? I don’t understand.”

Ben:  Yeah, urinary incontinent. It actually happens to guys, too. The whole Kegel thing is interesting because I actually download this app, this Kegel Camp app. I think it was after you told me about it and messed around with it. It reminded me very much of, I think it was maybe seven years ago or so, I wrote an article called The Private Gym. Have you heard of this thing called The Private Gym?

Jordan:  I feel like I have but possibly from you, yes.

Ben:  Okay. So, our mutual friend, Jordan Gray, the relationship coach Jordan Gray.

Jordan:  Oh, yeah.

Ben:  Another Jordan who’s been on my podcast before. I remember when we were at an event. I think it was one of our little mastermind events that we all go to. He was telling me about his wet towel exercise where he put a towel on your erection, just a small dry hand towel and you practice lifting that when you get an erection and then —

Jordan:  That’s funny. I feel like I accidentally invented that when I was 12 and I just kept doing it because it’s funny. So, maybe that’s why I’m so successful at Kegel Camp.

Ben:  And you progressively graduate to a larger towel and then you get the towel wet. Well, this company, Private Gym, developed an actual magnet that wraps perfectly around the penis that has progressively larger sizes of the magnet and so you can do progressive resistance training with your penis very similar to a Kegel exercise. And I remember for the article that I wrote, I spent–my wife would laugh at me because I would do it in the bathroom, in the bedroom, but I spent about eight weeks training with this device. And one of the side effects that I noted was, A, way better urinary control, and B, for those of you who deal with things like constipation and bowel movement issues, way better control over that function as well.

A lot of people think Kegels are for women who want to train for incontinence or for some kind of a sexual effect, or men who want to train for something similarly, but there appear to be a wide range of ancillary side effects from doing Kegels. So, if anything comes off of this podcast, I think everybody should download the Kegel Camp app and–I don’t know, maybe we should get them to sponsor the show.

Jordan:  Maybe, yeah. But just be careful. I feel like you’re going to end up talking–our next episode in a year is going to be about how you deadlift now with using only your penis, and that’s going to be dangerous for everyone involved. So, make sure you throw a little asterisk with some insurance or something at the end of this one.

Ben:  Yeah. Yeah. Maybe somebody can invent some kind of an attachment for a hex bar like some–I can imagine some kind of a sleeve that goes in the front of the hex bar for those who have graduated to that level. So, we haven’t really talked about anything that I planned on asking you yet. Here we are 20 minutes in.

Jordan:  That’s right, Kegel battle attachment. We do have time.

Ben:  Yeah.

Jordan:  We do have time to get to relevant information as well. I’m totally open to that.

Ben:  Yes. Okay. Maybe we should focus on something useful. So, here’s this, have you heard about this book–because I know you’ve had them on your podcast but I don’t know if you’ve seen his book. Robert Greene has this book called, “Laws of Human Nature.” Have you seen this one?

Jordan:  Oh, yeah. I read that book right before it came out and I interviewed Robert Greene on the Jordan Harbinger Show for two straight hours and so far, it’s been one of the most popular–it’s the most popular episode of the show. It was something like 430,000 downloads so far. He is incredible and that episode was everything that I ever wanted in a podcast episode, just incredible.

Ben:  That book, besides alerting to me how much of a narcissist, like a closet narcissist I probably am based on his description of narcissism. And he does have a fantastic chapter in there about how to be a good narcissist, like how to turn all of those inclinations around and actually develop a true appreciation for other people and use narcissism to become a good leader. But he gets hardcore into nonverbal communication skills, which I know that you’re kind of an expert at. So, I’m curious when you interviewed him, did you have any kind of major takeaways or things you learned from him in the realm of nonverbal communication?

Jordan:  Yeah. It’s funny with nonverbal communication. I started off learning verbal and nonverbal communication for the purposes of networking when I was a Wall Street attorney and I wanted to generate business for my law firm. And so, I thought about, “Alright. How can I master getting to know people and networking?” And it actually came down largely to nonverbal communication because it’s not what you say that creates those first impressions; it’s the way that you appear to other people when they notice you. So, when you become a blip on their radar.

And then, of course, I started taking classes like Dale Carnegie and things like that. Of course, the advice there is, “Look him in the eye and have a firm handshake.” And I thought, “Okay. If somebody doesn’t like you or isn’t giving you a million dollar legal contract, it’s probably not because you didn’t look him in the eye or have a firm handshake. There’s something else going on.” So, I spent the last decade and changed learning all I could about nonverbal communication. There are so many things out there that are flawed or oversimplified, or it’s like if their feet are pointing towards the door, they’re thinking about leaving. It’s like, “Ugh, maybe.”

And more recently, I started training three-letter agencies on verbal and nonverbal communication and things like that. I actually had a really interesting experience right after the Robert Greene interview where I was dealing with a lot of former clandestine operations people from the Central Intelligence Agency and we were all in a room together. I didn’t know who they were; I just knew the one guy who I was speaking with was. And I said, “You know, when we met at this party, I could tell right away that you were a former spy. It was either that or a professor.” And he said, “Oh really? Why?” Because he was undercover in Africa for like 10 to 20 years or something like that. So, not a good look when some random dude at a party can spot you out of the crowd. And he said, “There are other people here that I used to work with. Do you have any idea who they are?” And I got something like 8 to 11 out of the 15. And I say 8 to 11 because I was on the fence about a few of these 15 people that were in the room.

Ben:  Wow.

Jordan:  And we’ve actually tried to figure out and codify this because it’s potentially very dangerous if somebody who just walked in and talked with people for 20 to 30 minutes can pick these people out. That’s really, really bad. And they’re really good at picking each other out of a crowd, and that’s fine but it’s terrible if a random civilian can pick these people out because these are life or death situations a lot of these people find themselves in. These are guys and gals that go undercover in Iraq, Syria or elsewhere and have to deal with a lot of dangerous situations in Pakistan and elsewhere. So, this is not good.

And what we’ve codified as a result of this was a system of personality archetypes similar to what I’ve been using for a while but really, really specifically geared towards high performers. And what I’ve noticed actually, and that’ll be of interest to you, is that athletes, high performing physical competitors and things like that actually have a lot of similar nonverbal communication. And I’m not sure what causes this but I think it’s a lot of physical confidence and situational confidence that probably comes with dominating in sports and/or being undercover in the CIA which is no easy task. And I think it results in people sticking out in a way that for a spy is really bad, for an athlete or high performer can be really good but also has the side effect of being potentially intimidating.

And I don’t know if you’ve heard this from your show fans and from people that you work with but a lot of athletes come across as intimidating. And I don’t just mean like boxers and MMA fighters. I mean, there are track and field athletes that they’ll tell me things —

Ben:  Yeah. I mean, the CrossFitters, anybody who’s fit, really. I always, and hopefully this doesn’t rabbit hole too much, I’ve always wondered if whether or not it’s just people feeling ashamed because it makes them feel like a slob or something when somebody fit walks into the room or if there’s something else going on.

Jordan:  There’s a little bit of both, and we can rabbit hole on this because I feel like it’s relevant here. There is an element of highlighting people’s insecurities when this happens, and this does dovetail with what we can discuss here in a second, but it does make sense. So, for example, you have this problem in general regardless of how fit you are, let’s say that you are 250 pounds but you should be like 190 and you’ve got a bunch of friends that you hang out with and you play Xbox all the time and they’re all 245, 235, whatever. When you start losing that weight, what’s going to happen? Some people might be proud of you but that group of guys or gals that you hang out with that’s at a similar level are probably going to resist it a little bit.

It’s not because they don’t care about you and it’s not because they actually want you to be unhealthy or suffer adverse consequences. The reason that this often happens is because whenever somebody who we deem to be the most like us undergoes a series of changes, the more like us we deem that person to be, the more uncomfortable we get as a result of those changes. I’ll repeat that just in case because it might be a little confusing. The more we look at somebody and we think they’re like us or we’re like them, the more any change in their status like their social status, whatever that means, whether that means physical appearance, physical fitness, income level, the way that they–for guys like you and I, any sort of media attention somebody gets for their business or if their podcast blows up or their YouTube channel blows up, something like this, the more we end up kind of taking that personally.

And the reason, one of the reasons that this happens is because we compare ourselves consistently to other people with whom we feel we’re on the same tier. So, this can be great because it can be self-motivating but it can also be really dangerous to our interpersonal relationships because–let’s say we as a group decide to, “Oh, let’s all get fit, guys. All we do is play Xbox all weekend. Let’s go to the gym and do some other stuff and then we can game after.” Well, if we all start off great, and then two months later, somebody falls off the wagon because their knee hurts then somebody joins them because they feel like, “Oh man, every time I do this, I get sick for a day after,” because they’re not used to the physical exertion. So, then those two guys start gaming.

Well, let’s say the third guy, that’s you or me, we stick with it because we’re starting to feel good and like the changes and we’re getting positive reinforcement from our wife and kids. Well, the problem happens later down the line. Those same gaming friends, they might not want to hang out and see us anymore and they won’t say, “Screw you, buddy. All you’ve done is get in shape. I should be proud of you but I’m jealous.” What they do is we rationalize in our brain some other reason like, “Oh, this person’s not as friendly or as fun anymore.” Or, “They’re rejecting us because all they care about is the gym and their half marathon and they never join our gaming sessions anymore. Jordan thinks he’s too cool to hang with us.”

This is totally normal human behavior, and the reason is because nobody wants to have this highlighted for them. If you go and win a Spartan Race like you did when you stayed over at my house in San Francisco a couple of years back, then I go, “Well, of course. Ben Greenfield won a Spartan Race. I understand that. That’s his thing. I’m happy for him but –“

Ben:  I don’t think I won it. I think I got second.

Jordan:  Oh, you came in second?

Ben:  Yeah.

Jordan:  Well, I’m trying to do some revisionist history here. It must be because I had the life —

Ben:  I like your memory though. That’s great.

Jordan:  I try to remember everything in an ideal scenario for those–the benefit of those on the show that are not me. So, yeah, it makes sense that you achieve something like that. I don’t feel any sort of self-esteem issue because you’re more athletic than me because that would be weird that a professional, essentially professional athlete and health guru such as yourself, you’re supposed to do things like that and I’m–it’s not part of my identity. But if somebody else who’s in my same lane does something, well, then I might start feeling insecure about it.

And we have to be really careful about this because we want to surround ourselves with healthy people both emotionally and physically, and I’m sure your audience is the epitome of this. They’re always working on themselves. The definition of biohacking is what? Eking out that last 1% to 5% of changes that are going to make a difference because you’re already eating and working out and sleeping right theoretically?

So, we have to be very careful that our rationalizations don’t get a hold of us. And I see this happening all the time and destroying people’s relationships even with their significant other because people start to think, “Uh-oh. My wife did this or my brother did this or my close friend did this.” The fact that I’m not doing it, all my excuses are pretty much gone.” If the guys I’ve been hanging out with every weekend who have the same income level and the similar family situation, one guy gets in shape and the rest of us don’t, I start to see that I could do this but I’d chosen not to. And the cognitive dissonance where I have to rationalize why they did it and I can’t, it becomes so much work that I don’t want to face it anymore.

And this, I find, actually can stop people dead in their tracks from self-improvement because if by improving you become socially isolated, that’s a really strong trigger for a lot of people, especially people that aren’t in great shape, because if you’ve been in bad shape or mediocre shape your entire life, well maybe you were bullied. And even if you weren’t, even if you were just bullied period, you might have a trigger button built-in that says, “Oh, when people start treating me like this, I start feeling really horrible and isolated.”

This can be a trigger that people will actually choose to be less fit, less healthy, eat more junk, sit around more and derail their fitness plans because they want to keep their friends. And this is extremely dangerous. And so this is a good rabbit hole to go down I think even though it distracted from your original question because I see this happening all the time and it doesn’t have to be with fitness. That’s an example that’s great for the show but it can be somebody who’s a go-getter at work and their colleagues aren’t. It can be somebody who has decided to have kids and so all of their business go-getter entrepreneur friends split off from them. It can be somebody who decides to start a business instead of working for the man and then they find that, “Oh, you know what? My friendship and social circle has started to die out.”

So, we really do sort of have a magnet for what’s comfortable. The problem is it doesn’t have to be what’s comfortable for us; it can be what’s comfortable for those around us.

Ben:  Well, hello. I want to interrupt today’s show to tell you about Christmas in a cup. That’s right, Christmas in a cup. I promise I won’t talk about it. I talk like a grandma during one of those commercials a while ago and I think it disturbs people. So, I won’t talk like a grandma but what I can tell you is that if you’re sitting back in your rocking chair, preparing to open your stockings or hang the stockings with care by the fireplace or however that old Christmas poem goes, you want to be holding in your hands a wonderful heartwarming cup full of smooth coconut milk, cinnamon, ginger, lemon balm, super mushrooms just like grandma used to eat.

And this is all like a super healing golden juice. Good for the stomach, good for the gut, for the joints, for inflammation. It’s like those golden juices that you get at the coffee shop with none of the sugar and crap added to them, it’s just pure, golden milk. It’s full of anti-inflammatory spices, and did I mention, it tastes like Christmas in a cup. So, it’s called Organifi Gold. They also have a red juice that’s got some really good anti-aging and blood building properties to it; a green juice that saves you all the chopping and the cutting and the smoothie building. Just put it in water or anything else that you would like such as chili. No, don’t put it in chili. Put it in like maybe almonds milk or coconut milk, blend it up or use a latte frother. Organifi is offering 20% off of all their fine powders. You go to organifi.com. That’s Organifi with an I. Organifi.com. Use discount code Greenfield. It’s going to automatically save you 20% when you use code [email protected]

Also, right now, I’m not lying to you, right now I am wearing Birdwell Beach Britches. My wonderful Birdwell Beach Britches. I’m actually in California while I’m recording this if the audio sounds a little funky compared to the audio that you were hearing while I was interviewing Jordan. And these Birdwell Beach Britches, what they use are materials that are fashioned from or inspired by sailboats, sailboat sales particularly. And that means that they are completely unbreakable.

They literally inspect every single individual seam and stitch in grommet and if anything breaks, lifetime guarantee. You send it back to the factory, they fix it. They build these things for all shapes and sizes. And if you live in a cold climate like let’s say you’re in Siberia or Alaska or maybe some glacier in Russia, listening to this, the good news is they also have competition jackets, they have wonderful winter and fall wear, too. They’re light and rugged competition jacket just like the shorts will survive decades of adventures.

So, you get 10% off of anything from Birdwell Beach Britches on your first purchase. You also get a lifetime guarantee and free shipping over 99 bucks. So, go burn up some of that Christmas cash you just got or you’re about to get and go to birdwell.com. That’s B-I-R-D-W-E-L-L.com and the discount code that you use at birdwell.com is–brace yourself, you guessed it, Ben. If you guessed Greenfield, you’re wrong, it’s Ben, [email protected]

Yeah, for the people you’re hanging around. That makes perfect sense especially I know we have a lot of our listeners who are into things like intermittent fasting, which a lot of people don’t get when all of a sudden you aren’t joining in on whatever–whether it’s the Saturday morning church breakfast or the weekday feeds at the office. All of a sudden you’re the odd person out and I think that gets in the way of a lot of people adhering to whether it’s an intermittent fast or a lunchtime workout when you’re suddenly skipping out on lunch and you’re on the stair mill on the gym instead.

And I think it works in reverse, too. You’re no doubt familiar with the idea that the more your friends tend to fall into the category of overweight or obese, the more likely that you are overweight or obese. It’s kind of a relatively obvious scenario in which you are the equivalent of the five people that you spend the most time with but it really flushes itself out, pun intended, in the health and fitness realm where your fitness, your body weight, your eating protocols and diet, everything is very reflected by your friends and the people that you hang out with. And as you just alluded to, as soon as you start to strike out on your own or deviate from those patterns, you tend to create whether jealousy or anger or bitterness or some kind of alienation from that same group.

Jordan:  Absolutely. And I’ll take you one further. This is kind of terrifying. I talked about this as well with I believe Dr. David Buss on the show as well. There are network effects that are just terrifying. So, for example, you mentioned–what is that phrase? You only go as high as your five closest friends or you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. There are network effects that say things like–even if you and I, Ben, don’t have–let’s say we have no overweight friends because everyone around us is healthy and a go-getter, that’s great. I mean, it’s highly unlikely. That’s great but let’s imagine that it’s that way just for kicks.

The network effect of any of the people that we know also having friends that are unhealthy and overweight, we still suffer negative network effects from that. So, you heard me right. Even if you and I don’t know a single overweight unhealthy person in our life, which is impossible, even if the people close to us have close friends that are overweight and unhealthy, we still suffer network effects. And there is peer-reviewed research that shows unhealthy habits creeping in like freaking LinkedIn connections where it’s like you’re a second-degree connection, you’re a third-degree connection.

That person’s BS vaping habit or whatever is still at some level having a network effect on us. And I’m not exactly sure how this functions. It probably isn’t–well, you’ve got friends that do vaping and smoke cigarettes all the time so we’re going to end up smoking at some point. It’s not necessarily like this. It probably has to do with the way that people eat, the type of food that we’re around, social activity.

I’m not exactly sure how they did this study but the fact that there are network effects is really terrifying because that means that we can’t just surround ourselves with amazing people and be isolated from those negative influences, we actually–or it’s not possible unless we’re in some sort of elite military unit that never sees anybody else and only is surrounded by each other all the time. We are going to have those negative influences creep in. So, it’s important to have your own set of discipline, habits and ideas on how things are supposed to be done and really to stick to them because we think we’re doing great on our own, we think we’re resisting, but if anyone in our close circle is unhealthy or even in their close circle is unhealthy, it will still creep in. So, we have to really rely on our own systems. We can’t just say that we’re never tempted because it’s not realistic. It’s just not what the science shows.

Ben:  Yeah. Yeah. So, coming full circle back to athletes or people who are fit, being intimidating. When we walk into a room when we’re hanging around with people who may not fall into that category, what are some of the nonverbal communication skills that you teach to allow us to be better received in that type of scenario?

Jordan:  Right. So, it’s not as simple as, “Oh, this person’s an athlete so they stand up straight, so they look great,” or they’re, “Oh wow, they’re wearing clothes and they look like they’ve got good musculature.” Everyone’s intimidated. It’s actually a little bit —

Ben:  My Welcome to the Gun Show t-shirt.

Jordan:  Yeah, exactly, exactly. Some of that might do it right but that’s really not necessarily what we’re looking for. What we’ve found is that a lot of people who are athletic or are competitors in some way, they don’t necessarily have to be athletic but of course most elite athletes or even mid-tier athletes are very competitive people. That’s why you all get into that stuff in the first place. We find that we’re competitive. And what this does and the personality archetype scale that we developed for the Jordan Harbinger Show, the competitor is generally where most of us live. Athletes and high performers tend to be more of a competitor than most other people.

The other personality archetypes for reference are things like the doormat, somebody gets walked all over. The bully or somebody tries to drag people down to their level. Competitors are relatively healthy archetype because again, that’s where these high performers live. But the problem we have is as athletes or as high performers, we often look at relationships or at least to competitive relationships as zero-sum. And what that means is, “I have to be better than other people because that’s how I get social approval. If I don’t get it, they are going to get it and then it means something about myself.”

Robert Greene and I touched on this with the idea of toxic envy, and that we can talk about in a little bit if you’re interested. But the problem that we see with competitive people is often there’s covered up anxiety. It’s not clinical anxiety, right? This isn’t something you’re dragging yourself with that event all the time. But we often feel self-conscious, anxious, fearful or uncertain or unstable especially with regard to our sense of self because often athletes, high performers, our sense of self for years, especially if we’ve been that way our whole life, has been derived from the approval of others.

And then we spend our whole adult life being like, “I don’t need anyone’s approval. I’m going to the gym for myself and I’m competing for myself.” And often, that may be true but I’m sure you’ve seen this, Ben, it’s just as often the result–maybe we’re doing it now. Maybe we’re going to the gym for ourselves now but maybe when we started it was because we wanted the opposite sex to find us more attractive. It’s kind of like ask any musician, “How did you start playing guitar?” The answer probably wasn’t, “Well, I just loved the sweet, sweet melody of that bass.” It was, “To get women to like me,” or something like that, right?

Ben:  Oh yeah. Me, I originally began weightlifting so that I could get good at tennis/impress my female tennis instructor who I had a crush on. Same thing with running the hills back behind my house and then even though it really struck strictly with being–strength conditioning, we want to be a better tennis player through high school. Once I got to college, of course, it was about being a sex symbol and lifting weights to basically create that Adonis-like figure that I thought that women around me at university would respect. And then once I got married, it turned into–kind of came full circle and started turning in back into training for performance for like Ironman or Spartan or whatever.

And now, I’m actually at this crossroads now because I’m slowly kind of getting out of the competitive sports realm. And so now, I’m at this junction where I’m trying to develop the motivation to stay fit because I know it makes me feel good and will help me live a long time and will help me play basketball with my kids better. And basically, I’m having to develop this whole new set of rules, but you’re right, motivations change as you progress through life.

Jordan:  Exactly right. So, you’re starting to feel a little bit more of internal, I guess drive and of course doing it for your kids and you realize at some conscious and subconscious level, your kids don’t care if you have a 12-pack instead of a 6-pack of abs. And so your goals change. And so what I’ve noticed is that with competitive archetypes, we find ourselves comparing ourselves to other people on specific dimensions like wealth, looks or influence. With athletes especially, it has to do with the level of fitness, a lot of it, and this is totally fine.

Look, using other people’s status as motivation to become better is completely fine. The problem is when we build ourselves up or tear ourselves down using that comparison because yes, it’s great if you say, “Wow. Ben is in really good shape. He’s doing yoga in my living room on a foam roller and my wife and I came home and there he was and I’ve never seen a guy with 0% body fat or whatever, it’s incredible.” That’s great.

Ben:  I think I was also wearing an elevation training mask because you happen to have one of those in your little bucket as well.

Jordan:  Yeah. So, it kind of looked like naked Bane in my–or Speedo-wearing Bane in my living room and I’d never really seen anything like that.

Ben:  Like Skinny Bane.

Jordan:  Skinny Bane, yeah, exactly. Using that to motivate yourself is great, it’s fine but the problem is when we engage in this judgmental observation privately or internally. Obviously, if you’re doing it publicly, it’s really unhealthy because now you’re starting to consciously place yourself above or below other people and you will spend your entire day with your self-esteem fluctuating based on who you are around and what angles you have that are better than what they do and what they do that’s better than you. And you’ll often have an emotional reaction to those people. And the problem is using those observations that we have to ourselves to explain our own success or lack of success can be really, really unhealthy and it results in both verbal and nonverbal communication that pushes other people away.

So, you hear it from elite athletes that feel really isolated and by nature, we think, “Well, of course. You’re a gold medalist. There are not many other gold medalists.” It’s not just that. It’s the fact that they’re so competitive that they’re actually pushing people away who are better than them in some way because the feeling is so uncomfortable, but they also don’t want to be around people who they clearly dominate, which is probably the majority of the world, because they feel like there’s nothing there that’s motivating them. And if this is a subconscious process, it’s quite dangerous.

And if this is confusing, some of the archetypical thoughts of a competitor are, “I wonder what they think of me.” Or, “That idea sucks, mine was better.” Or, “That idea was really good. I wish I had thought of it.” Or, “This person has advantages I don’t have. That’s probably why they’re getting ahead.” Or even something really simple like, “Well, they might have a great job but I have a better social life or I’m healthier than them even though –“

Ben:  Yeah.

Jordan:  And that can lead to really dangerous communication patterns that push other people away and then an athlete wakes up or a high performer wakes up one day and says, “Holy crap, I don’t have that many close relationships and it’s starting to take a toll on my emotional health.”

Ben:  Are there specific things that you do then with your body language when you walk into a room and you’re like an athlete or an exercise enthusiast you know you’re going to be the fit person to allow other people to feel more comfortable around you?

Jordan:  Yes, absolutely. So, remember what I said earlier in the show which is that you are judged non-verbally especially when you become a blip on other people’s radar. So, most people think that social interactions of any kind start when you open your mouth, and that’s not really true. It’s very tempting to think that because then we think we have control over how the interaction goes or how we’re perceived. And this is especially true like in a dating context. Guys will say, “What do I say? What do I do?” And that’s largely irrelevant. And women will ask the same thing but I think women are, of course, more clued into nonverbal communication just due to their place in evolutionary biology. There’s a safety concern for females that are not usually there for men.

And so we find that when people walk into the room, we subconsciously look at new people who enter a doorway all the time. And we find, often enough, that when we judge those people, it’s happening so fast, it’s happening subconsciously. And we often have an adverse or beneficial emotional reaction to that person. So, if you’re an athlete and let’s say you’re more muscular or even just taller, let’s [00:52:21] _____ that because I don’t want it to just turn into the game of physical mass, taller than somebody else, you automatically —

Ben:  Or you can lift the heavier magnet on penis gym.

Jordan:  That’s right. That’s right. You know that you’ve got Level 20 on Kegel Camp. You’ve got that in your back pocket. A lot of people will be intimidated by this, a lot of people have an adverse or comparative emotional reaction to this, and that can be highly problematic for you because now you’re going, “Crap, I’d spend all these years getting in shape and now people don’t like me because I’m making them feel bad about themselves.” And of course what we think is, “Well, screw those people. I don’t need their approval. I worked hard for this. I don’t care if they feel bad.” But remember, we’re the ones that are facing consequences, unfortunately, of this.

And so we might be tempted to be around other high performers as a solution and yet then we end up being even more competitive with those people and them of us. So, it can impinge on our relationships there, too. Actually, the problem that we find is not we need to have athletic people or high performers become more accessible. I don’t want people to walk in and be like, “I need to slouch so that people think I’m a schlubby slap and don’t have an adverse reaction.” What we actually need to realize is there’s not much that we can do to change this perception. And so we should actually stop trying to mitigate because subconsciously, athletes and high performers will often do this especially women, and I know you’ve seen this in your inbox.

Women will go, “Oh shoot, I’m in shape and I’m really tall. I need to slouch.” Have you ever heard this before? Athletic women will be like, “I need to slouch or I need to not wear heels or I need to pretend I’m stupid so that I don’t intimidate other people.” This actually rubs other people the wrong way because we can tell it’s disingenuous and then you start making relationships with people based essentially on a lie. So, in many ways, you’ve got to own it but on the other hand, you don’t want to do this in a way that’s going to really throw it in people’s faces. So, we make ourselves more friendly or more accessible.

And the way that we can do this is instead of having–if we’re worried about intimidating people as guys, you’d literally need to smile more when you shake hands. And I know that sounds incredibly basic but you’d be shocked. When we videotape military Special Forces, intelligence agents, one of the things we do is we do video work where we will film them in interactions. One of the most obvious tells is this sort of really tight jaw and the firm handshake with the eye contact, it’s great but it’s really, really intimidating for a lot of people because remember, it’s not the handshake that’s intimidating, it’s not the lack of smile that’s intimidating, it’s the fact that you are clearly very physically able and agile and you aren’t letting us in at all.

So, we want to be much more accessible especially for guys. We want to smile more, we want to listen to what people say and do, laugh at their jokes even if they’re not necessarily that funny. You don’t have to lay on a completely fake façade, don’t get me wrong. I love authenticity even though I hate the word authenticity because I think it’s overused in silly. But for us as competitive people, we often will be inside our own heads and so that makes us seem unfriendly. Does that make sense? Like if we’re thinking about how we measure up to other people, other people are already intimidated by our physical presence. So, if we’re sitting there in our head and people are talking, we’re not reactive, that makes us even more intimidating. So, its presence and accessibility that make us look more accessible and more like somebody that shouldn’t scare the wits out of us as a competitive archetype.

Ben:  Yeah. It’s actually very similar to, for example, what I was reading in Robert Greene’s book when you allude to the idea of smiling, even if you maybe don’t feel like smiling. But he talks about method actors and how they actually learn to recall certain scenarios in their memory in which they, let’s say really, truly were happy. Like I’m the athletic guy, I walk into the room, my jaw is set, I’m ready to look you in the eye and give you a firm handshake and all of a sudden, I learned from Jordan on this show that I should instead maybe like hold back on the vise grip and give a true authentic smile when I’m greeting someone and not look them in the eye with extreme intensity.

Well, how do you do that without creating the complete opposite, like a fake smile with no crow’s eyes that’s obviously just like a fake smile? Well, Robert Greene in that book–what’s the name of the book again? It’s the Law–

Jordan:  The Laws of Human Nature.

Ben:  Yeah. The Laws of Human Nature. He talks about how you could actually recall a scenario in which you really, truly were happy or maybe you think of a crazy funny movie that you saw or something else that brought you joy so you’re actually able to create a smile that is authentic. It’s kind of difficult to explain but it’s this idea of actually learning to create authentic body language even when it might feel inauthentic. Does that make sense?

Jordan:  It does and the problem is that a lot of us, what we think as our authentic body language is actually the result of us trying to mitigate or change our first impression and we’re bringing this from childhood. So, people are wrapped up, especially us competitive archetypes. We’re wrapped up in our own emotions. We’re wrapped up in our own traumas. And this is a Robert Greene concept directly. We’re always reliving things from our childhood. If you weren’t athletic as a kid, now you’re compensating for that as an adult in some way. Even if it really is that you just enjoy physical activity and you changed, you’re still reliving things from your childhood.

So, other people who are reacting to you, you’re not really the trigger. The trigger is something that happened when they were four or five or fifteen years old. But this isn’t personal, but what we see is it’s not that guys and gals are walking through the doorway and being super look like The Rock and are scaring the crap out of everybody. Usually, it’s actually the other way around, especially with women, what we find is a lot of slouching, a lot of indirect or non-direct eye contact, a lot of trying to make themselves smaller and we’ll find–I even know–I don’t want to out anyone here but one of my friends is a very good MMA fighter and he was bullied as a kid because he had I guess a potbelly.

Ben:  Conor McGregor, is that your friend?

Jordan:  Yeah, yeah. My buddy, Conor McGregor. I don’t know if you’ve heard of him. He was bullied as a kid and people used to reach up his shirt and smack his stomach. Remember pink belly, you do that in school when you were a kid?

Ben:  No. I remember I was homeschooled.

Jordan:  Oh, yeah, that’s right. So, maybe your parents did it to you but the other kids didn’t, I don’t know.

Ben:  No. No. I had no friends nor did my parents touch my belly.

Jordan:  Oh my gosh.

Ben:  It’s horrible.

Jordan:  This explains so much. But they used to smack him on the stomach. And so he developed this habit of grabbing the bottom of his shirt and tugging on it. And the reason he did that was because of course he was self-protecting and we all have this. Now, he still does this as an adult. Nobody’s going to bully him because he will destroy people. Literally, what he does is knock people out for money, right?

So, it’s a little more complicated than that but he’s a showman when it comes to this and he’s a great person and everyone loves him but he still got this hang-up. We all have these little tells. And so often I’ll be coaching and talking with people who are high performers, especially if I’m dealing with military or intelligence agents and you’ll see these women who are like world champion skiers or something like that and I’ll say, “Do you work on the computer all day?” And they’re like, “Oh, not really. Why?” And I’ll go, “You’re slouching.” And they’ll go, “Damn it. I started doing that in middle school because I was taller than all the boys and I never shook the habit.”

And so this awareness around our physical and verbal and nonverbal communication is extremely important because it’s not that we’re walking into places and were intimidating everyone with our stature most of the time, it’s that the things we are doing to try to fit in socially are actually causing us harm because we know that the body leads the mind and the mind leads the body but what we’ve found in what Robert Greene discusses in The Laws of Human Nature is that often these beliefs are shaped by us when we’re young and by events when we’re young and it shows up in our nonverbal communication. And to illustrate this, I had lunch recently with a bunch of ex-military guys that now do protection force like Elon Musk and Bill Gates in these sort of high-level Silicon Valley entrepreneur billionaire guys. And I remember–

Ben:  Dude, Elon Musk has a flamethrower. He doesn’t need bodyguards.

Jordan:  He doesn’t but you never know. Someone could sneak up on you when your flamethrower is still warming up. And I said, “Hey man, this is random but –” First of all, we’re talking about what we could do for the organization and I said, “This is random but were you the youngest of a set of siblings?” And he said, “Yeah.” And I said, “Did they bother you when you’re a little?” And he goes, “Yeah. We still don’t get along to this day. Why?” And I said, “The way that you’re sitting right now and the way that you’re talking right now and whenever I talk and we talk at the same time, you always cede to me and then you look down.” I could tell that he was bullied when he was younger but he’s so naturally fit and athletic. I thought there’s no way that it’s just kids at school because he would just destroy them. And so it must have been somebody in his family or his parents. And it turned out that his older brother, this particular individual, bullied him to the point where they actually don’t have a close relationship even now.

And so, this is all visible from nonverbal communication and it sounds like black magic when I can walk into a room and see somebody that I’ve never met before and wondered if they were bullied as a child by their siblings. But all of these personality archetypes, everything that I used to read other people and teach spies and whatever else to read other people, all of this stuff is from seeds planted ala Robert Greene’s book, The Laws of Human Nature, from when we were kids. And so this type of baggage might feel like we’ve let it go but all of those signs were still shaped by that physically and emotionally.

And this might sound a little woo-woo but I don’t think it’s beyond the realm of comprehension. For those listening to this show, I know you all do mostly biohacking but everything that you do when you walk into a room, all those first impressions, all the way that you relate to your friends and family, all of this has been shaped by who you were as a kid, and I can see it, and other people can see it. Even if we can’t put our finger on it, people will react to you in that way because nonverbal communication is all evolved.

Ben:  Yeah. Yeah.

Jordan:  We don’t make it up. We don’t have rules really other than some cultural things like handshakes or bowing if you’re in Japan. But the rest of it is evolved. You have a one millisecond whatever impression of somebody and it’s like 90% correct because of the way they—

Ben:  Yeah. Interesting. Now, I know we’re coming up on time but I want to ask a selfish question and kind of put you on the spot to see if–maybe this all just is biomechanical because I played tennis and had a right arm dominant sport growing up or something like that, but when I stand in a room, one thing that annoys me, when I see this in photographs, same thing, like why the heck am I doing that? I tend to stand with my shoulders back like rolled back especially my right shoulder, but even my left shoulder, like I stand with my shoulders back. That’s the best way I can describe it. Almost like thrust open with the right shoulder farther back than the left when I’m talking to people. Almost like my body’s torqued in some way especially when I’m engaged in conversation and I find myself even doing this like consciously, I’ll recognize it even if it’s not me looking at me in a photograph. Have you ever seen that or do you have any thoughts on that?

Jordan:  Yeah. I’ve actually noticed this about you in particular and–

Ben:  Crap. You’ve seen it too.

Jordan:  But it’s not a big deal. I just assumed that you had some sort of–it’s funny you should bring this out this exact example. I assumed that you had some sort of drill where you are constantly resetting your posture because you wanted to stand up straight and that that drill had a trigger that was conversational or you just noticed that other people were standing a certain way and you reset your posture but are you saying that’s completely subconscious?

Ben:  I wish I was that intelligent. No. I don’t know why I do it.

Jordan:  Interesting. Yeah, that’s super interesting. It’s hard to say why anyone does anything like that. I mean, if somebody has a specific set of nonverbal communication, it’s pretty easy to guess but just when you’re in photographs or is it mostly when you’re interacting with other people?

Ben:  Well, it’s photographs of me interacting with other people where I notice it.

Jordan:  Okay.

Ben:  I mean, sometimes when I’m interacting with other people, I actually also notice it.

Jordan:  How much physical affection did you have with your family when you were a kid?

Ben:  With my father, not much at all. I actually go out of my way to snuggle with my boys. I know my dad sometimes listens to my podcast and sorry, dad. I apologize when I put you on the spot on these things but yeah, with my father, not much at all. I don’t have many memories of snuggling or hugging or anything like that. With my mom, a little bit but we were–my wife when I talk with her, like her families just have like snuggle parties on the couch and there was just constant hugging and snuggling and that’s still like something she does with our boys, whereas, I have to go out of my way to remind myself to do it because I didn’t grow up in a house like that. So, probably less than average.

Jordan:  Okay. And of these photos of you interacting with other people, how many are you interacting with a man and how many are you interacting with a woman, and is the reaction in your body the same?

Ben:  Tough to say but I would say–man, that’s tough to say. I can’t say I’ve actually really paid attention to the difference between the sex of the person I’m communicating with.

Jordan:  You know, you can get back to me on this because I’m super interested in this particular thing. I mean, it’s not urgent obviously but I’m very curious because if it–I would hypothesize that you’re interacting with men and that you’re having sort of a physical reaction that is a little bit–not standoffish but that upright, extra upright posture with your shoulders back, it’s probably triggered by something usually, again as Robert Greene says, those patterns come from childhood. So, I’d be very curious. And if it’s women, it could be something completely different. I know you were brought up and still are quite the man of faith, and that may also have something to do with it. There are different theories for different reactions but this reminds me of something I discussed with Dr. David Buss. You’ve had him on the show, I assume. It’s something—

Ben:  No.

Jordan:  Have you not?

Ben:  No.

Jordan:  Oh, my gosh.

Ben:  You keep talking about him so I feel like I should. Who is he?

Jordan:  So, Professor David Buss is the world’s leading scientific expert on evolutionary psychology of human mating strategies which is a fancy way of saying, “Why the heck do men and women do all this weird stuff? Oh, it’s because of this thing in our past that caused it.” So, one of the things that we discussed on his interview on the Jordan Harbinger Show was what dating apps are doing to our brains with the amount of variety to allude to our conversation earlier about porn, mate switching strategies. So, why affairs happen and the mechanisms that are at play and why mating strategies tend to be universal even if, let’s say cultural variations seem to suggest otherwise? And there are just so many interesting things that we discussed.

With him also, we discussed a little bit of nonverbal communication and sort of what these strategies are especially when it comes to–you can see pictures of people in some of his studies where they’ve had, this is this person with this partner and this is this person with someone they’ve had an affair with and the nonverbal communication is completely different. It might be really fascinating for your audience. He’s extremely interesting.

Again, also Robert Greene, with his ability to pull things out of what might look like thin air but is really just evolutionary psychology mixed with reading nonverbal communication I think is fascinating. Look, I don’t want to give the impression that I can look at anyone and be like, “You got two little Halloween candy when you were 11.” I can’t do that. I can certainly tell if you’ve had too much Halloween candy throughout the course of your life but I can’t really pinpoint specific events. But what I found was by being acutely aware–what’s that?

Ben:  Oh, no. I was actually going to see if you could identify the actual Halloween candy that I like growing up or whether because I used to go after the king-sized Butterfingers if that reflects on my right shoulder stance.

Jordan:  I was going to say Butterfinger but now no one’s going to believe me. No one’s going to believe me because you already outed it. But I want to leave with a drill because I know we are coming up on time. I want to leave with a drill, and this is especially good for —

Ben:  Another drill in addition to the wet towel and the penis one? Oh, geez.

Jordan:  Yes. I mean, I know we’re overloading people with the wet towel and the penis and Kegel Camp, but this is a drill that you can do in public and it won’t get you arrested. How’s that?

Ben:  Okay. Great.

Jordan:  This is called the doorway drill. And essentially, what this is is for a lot of us that try to mitigate behavior or have some sort of social anxiety or even those of us that maybe don’t have social anxiety but change the way that we appear to others in order to fit in better, this is called the doorway drill. Essentially, what we’re going to do is right now unless you’re driving, for example, stand up straight, chest up, smile on your face, shoulders back like Ben Greenfield in a photograph just an upright positive open body language type of communication.

Remember this particular posture. The smile on your face is key and this is the type of positive open confident body language that we want to communicate when people see us first. Not when we see people first, when we become a blip on their right radar, that’s when it’s important because that’s when they form their initial judgment. And so we want to do this every time we walk through a doorway. And that for the ladies out there who were too tall in middle school will get rid of the slouch. That for the guys out there who feel like they’re scaring all of the other men and women because of their build size or because of their level of athletic fitness, this will reset you to somebody who’s still upright but also quite accessible, approachable and friendly looking, in any case.

We do this every time we walk through a doorway. Now, the problem is you walk through doorways all day so you’re immediately going to be like, “Okay,” and then you’ll forget five seconds from now. So, grab those–you know those useless sizes Post-it notes that are like an inch wide and you’re like, “Nothing fits on here except for one word,” and they’re bright lime green?

Ben:  Yeah. Dude, those are for books.

Jordan:  Grab a stack of those. Those are for books. That’s right. They are.

Ben:  Yeah. [01:11:20] ______ in books.

Jordan:  I wouldn’t know. I use audiobooks. Grab those that have been in your drawer for 13 years and stick them up at eye level in the doorways you use most. So, like your home office, maybe your actual office. And since it’s a Post-it note, nobody’s going to be like, “What the heck is this weird thing?” You don’t have to write anything on it. Put it up in the doorframe at eye level and this interrupts our autopilot pattern response.

So, we walk through doorways, we’re never going to notice it. If we see that Post-it note before we walk through the doorway because it’s at eye level, what happens is we go, “Why is there a lime green–oh right, the doorway drill.” So, then you remember to reset your body. And you don’t have to do–in order to have Post-it notes all over town, if you have it in the doorways you walk through the most, you’ll start to reset your body several times a day, and that’s what creates this as a habit. And you’ll start to see people reacting to you much differently than you were before, than they were before. And we also know that other people’s behavior towards us is actually what creates our self-impression.

A lot of us think our impression is self-created and it’s totally not. It’s all based on the way other people treat us almost exclusively. So, when we have different nonverbal communication, we show up to other people in a different way, which causes them to treat us a certain way, which we then reinforced naturally in our behavior. So, what we want to do is reset so that we look open, positive, confident and friendly; have people treat us as such and then we don’t have to manually change our nonverbal communication so that we’re not intimidating. We actually naturally do this. Does that make sense?

Ben:  Yeah, yeah. It does. Interesting.

Jordan:  It creates that virtuous cycle and all it’s going to cost you is a half a stack of not even Post-it notes. And that we found has made an enormous difference in having groups like the Green Berets or military Special Forces units and groups like that show up as “normal people” because when you’re surrounded by these individuals and those network effects we discussed earlier are mitigated, so basically, we have that military look, you can mitigate that with the doorway drill.

And I’d like to think that this is going to help save some clandestine operations people’s lives out there because it’s going to be less obvious who and what they’re doing. But for at least athletes, military and other folks listening to your show, this is a hack that can, not only aid you socially but will also make you feel and look better and result in better social health throughout the rest of your life, and you don’t have to keep those Post-it notes up forever. After a couple months, you probably have this habit solidified.

Ben:  Yeah. And it just basically is doing exactly that, it’s creating this nonverbal communication habit that you can practice in your house before you actually get out and try it in the streets.

Jordan:  Exactly, exactly.

Ben:  Okay. Well, we know that we’ve done well with this podcast and really reached out to a lot of people if all of the tiny miniature Post-it notes on Amazon sell out. We know we’ve actually changed some lives with this show.

Jordan:  That’s right. That’s right.

Ben:  Maybe I won’t put a link to the mini Post-it notes in the shownotes but what I will link to are Jordan’s episodes particularly with Robert Greene and David Buss along with the books, “The Evolutionary Psychology” book and “The Laws of Human Nature” Book also by David Buss and Robert Greene respectively. I will also link to Jordan’s podcast, his website, the Kegel Camp app of course, and everything else we discussed. Maybe I’ll even put the link to the funky coffee that we talked about in the intro.

Jordan, it’s always a blast talking to you and tapping into just a little bit of the wide body of knowledge that you have on this stuff. So, thanks for coming on the show and sharing this with us.

Jordan:  Yeah, I really appreciate it. Look, I love your audience because it’s all these awesome go-getters and people that want to eke out that last 1% to 5%. And I feel like these are appropriate geek level folks who are going to really enjoy the things that we talk about on the Jordan Harbinger Show. Even if it’s not Dr. Matthew Walker with sleep and it’s just Molly Bloom talking about underground poker games, I feel like your audience can really relate. So, I’m looking forward to hearing what the Ben Greenfield Show fans think of the Jordan Harbinger Show because I think there’s great overlap in the right areas.

Ben:  Word. Alright. Show notes are at BenGreenfieldFitness.com/Jordan for those of you listening in, BenGreenfieldFitness.com/Jordan. Everything will be there and his show is the Jordan Harbinger Show. You can find it wherever fine podcasts are found. I’ll also link to that and his website in the shownotes.

Want more? Go to BenGreenfieldFitness.com or you can subscribe to my information-packed and entertaining newsletter and click the link up on the right-hand side of that web page that says, “Ben recommends,” where you’ll see a full list of everything I’ve ever recommended to enhance your body and your brain. Finally, to get your hands on all of the unique supplement formulations that I personally develop, you can visit the website of my company, Kion, at getK-I-O-N.com. That’s getK-I-O-N.com.

Jordan Harbinger is back!

In my first podcast episode with Jordan we talked about:

-What kind of body language mistakes that fit people with nice bodies make which hold them back socially…

-How to reprogram your brain to actually like and appreciate things like kale smoothies and ginger juice…

-A simple eye trick to get you to “fake it until you make it” with extreme social confidence…

-Why bars and clubs are not necessarily the places to go to to enhance your social intelligence and ability to build relationships…

-How I went from eating fast food, being ultra-shy and reading fantasy novels to being named as one of the world’s top 100 most influential people in health and fitness…

Jordan has always had an affinity for Social Influence, Interpersonal Dynamics and Social Engineering, helping private companies test the security of their communications systems and working with law enforcement agencies before he was even old enough to drive.

He has spent several years abroad in Europe and the developing world, including South America, Eastern Europe and the Middle East, and speaks several languages. He has also worked for various governments and NGOs overseas, traveled through war-zones and been kidnapped -twice. He’ll tell you – the only reason he’s still alive and kicking is because of his ability to talk his way into (and out of), just about any type of situation.

On his podcast, he gets deep into the untapped wisdom of the world’s top performers — from legendary musicians to intelligence operatives, iconoclastic writers to visionary change-makers, deconstructing the playbooks of the most successful people on earth.

Among the many things Jordan and I discussed here in Round 2:

-Various drug-related topics…2:42

Hefty CBD doses enhance deep sleep

Throw THC into the mix, sleep latency drops

Does it affect your health negatively during the day?

You are rested, just a little bit groggy.

Ultimate coffee mix to turn on the brain during the day

Ghee

Put in Four Sigmatic Lions Mane extract

Salt

Trace amount of Psilocybin

MiCacao

Stevia

Jordan’s adverse reaction to taking Modafinil and the reasons I use it

yourbrainonporn.com

Erectile dysfunction vs. brain dysfunction

Jordan set the record on the Kegel Camp App

-About Robert Greene and his book, The Laws of Human Nature…24:40

Non-verbal communication

Appearance is more important than words for first impressions

Much of what we believe is either flawed or just wrong

Jordan called out a former spy because of his NV communication

Codified a system of personality archetypes geared toward high performers

Why do Athletes and high achievers come across as intimidating?

Shame for their own inactivity

The more we look at someone and think they’re relatable to us, the more any change in them makes us more uncomfortable or resentful

Rather than congratulate them, people find excuses why achievers are snobby, arrogant, etc.

People don’t like their shortcomings highlighted

-Non-verbal communication techniques Jordan teaches to be better received if you’re an athlete or high achiever…43:40

Hidden anxiety regarding sense of self

Motivations change as you progress through life;

Comparison can be efficacious to your self-development and also very unhealthy

High achievers shirk others because they don’t provide any motivation

Soon you realize you have no close friends, it’s affecting your emotional health.

How to behave when you’re “that guy” to allow others to be more comfortable around you.

Make yourself more relatable

Smile more; loosen the jaw

-Recreating “authentic” body language, even if it feels inauthentic…57:30

What we think is “authentic” is often us manipulating our body language to give off a desired vibe.

-Jordan’s observations on an annoying body language quirk that I have…1:03:40

-And much more!

Resources from this episode:

–Jordan’s website and podcast

–Jordan’s interview with Robert Greene

–Jordan’s interview with David Buss

–MiCacao

–FourSigmatic Lion’s Mane

–The Kegel Camp app

-Ben’s article on The Private Gym

-Book: The Laws Of Human Nature

–Dr. David Buss books

–Mini Post-It Notes

Episode Sponsors:

–Kion Check out our steep discounts on product bundles (like the Daily Life Bundle). Check it out if you’re looking for ways to use those holiday gift cards!

–Organifi delivers quality nutrition to the world with delicious, easy-to-mix superfood drinks. Get 20% off your order when you use code “Greenfield” at check out.

–Birdwell Beach Britches “Quality is our Gimmick” isn’t just our slogan, it’s a commitment we honor with every stitch we sew. Use discount code “ben” at check out and get 10% off your order + free shipping on orders over $99.

Ask Ben a Podcast Question

Source: https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/transcripts/transcript-cbd-vs-thc/

[ghostinthegrain]

From Villafranca: “Preamble: An Advanced Warning for the Quick of Thumb”

“There is a remarkable picture called “Contemplation.” It shows a forest in winter and on a roadway through the forest, in absolute solitude, stands a peasant in a torn kaftan and bark shoes. He stands, as it were, lost in thought. Yet he is not thinking: he is “contemplating.” If anyone touched him he would start and look bewildered. It’s true he would come to himself immediately; but if he were asked what he had been thinking about, he would remember nothing. Yet probably he has hidden within himself, the impression which dominated him during the period of contemplation. Those impressions are dear to him and he probably hoards them imperceptibly, and even unconsciously. How and why, of course, he does not know. He may suddenly, after hoarding impressions for many years, abandon everything and go off to Jerusalem on a pilgrimage. Or he may suddenly set fire to his native village. Or he may do both.” -Dostoyevsky (The Brothers Karamazov) Why one decides to go on a pilgrimage, I am not so sure. One can hardly ever be certain of one’s own real motives. But Dostoyevsky’s explanation is, I think, as likely as any: because he didn’t want to burn down his home village. But here we are, already ten days from St. Jean Pied de Port, our point of departure, more than a hundred kilometers having passed underneath our feet; our ankles and hips have borne much of the impact, and they tell each of the three of us the story of the journey thus far, at various volumes. But among fractured memories, impressions already accumulate; there is already this strange distance, besides the geographical, between now and where we were just a few days ago: the crowds in Logroño, or the plaza in Los Arcos, the monastery in Estella. They feel like ancient history, or like, something that happened in a snow globe. And what about the impressions that preceded our departure altogether? People ask us why we came, and I often say, “because Ruth asked if I wanted to go.” But that’s only a time-saving response. Subtle things have momentous consequences sometimes. Like, what’s the difference between traveling and taking a pilgrimage? Or the difference between ‘thinking’ and ‘contemplating’? What is an “impression”? An impression is a sketch, A very low resolution image, a general sense which guides the emotions, especially with regard to collections of things and events which are so numerous that they cannot all be thought of, consciously, at once. Formulating them is largely the business of the unconscious. Ruth has been working on this party trick where, she says, a man was given 50 random objects, and then asked, “ what was the 13th object?“ and he could recite all of them back, with perfect accuracy. Ruth has been practicing the trick of associative memory, with some of the spare time we happened to have on the trail (she is up to 20), but everyone knows under regular circumstances, you can’t specifically think of 50 things at the same time. So, if you experienced 50 days somewhere, say hiking the Camino, your mind can’t simultaneously think of each of the 50 days individually, so it formulates an impression of the ‘overall experience,’ as though it was one thing, and you say “the Camino was challenging but beautiful. I learned a lot about myself, and also got to meet some great people along the way.” In that, you have reduced 50 days of probably thousands of individual events into just four items, which can all be thought of simultaneously. People often reduce things even more than this, so that you ask them, “ did you have a good experience in college?“ And they will say, “yeah, college was super fun.” They have forgotten about individual moments, many horrible ones; every time they cried their eyes out during that chapter of life, or were broken-hearted, or injured, or struggled to pass a test, or stayed up all night with a friend who was depressed, and having a panic attack. They have chosen, for whatever reason, to pull over everything difficult or complex or not memorable, with a curtain of one solid color, in this example, perriwinkle blue. It is futile to warn against formulating impressions, though there are a very great many dangers there, which it is perhaps well to be aware of. We cannot really beware them, but we might be more aware of them. It appears as though what the mind is doing is something like paint mixing, where any emotional output is registered as some kind of color, perhaps anger is red, repulsion is green, pleasure blue, and so on. And when asked to recall a segment of its history, it produces a blend. But how accurate is that blend when compared to the reality? Is the unconscious mind a reliable tool, or does it distort the truth in some way, and for some hidden purpose? And how does one measure the accuracy? The scientific method has no jurisdiction here, in the world of emotions. We know that the mind will erase, and rewrite, and that there is reconstruction going on at almost every moment. Does the mind even present us with an accurate portrait of the day when we close our eyes to go to sleep at night? Does it remember all the hills and valleys in glorious sunshine, every stalk of barley, and each red flower kenspeckled along the fringe? Did it remember the depth of the horror in the waste of Nájera? The drooped faces of the teenagers being carried off the streets by their friends, the waste along the river, and was each shard of broken glass taken into account? Did it correctly assess the depth of the insult to Saint John the Baptist, the great ascetic, in whose name a rakish feast was held? Did it remember the tweet of each bird, the creaking of every cricket in the late evening, the shape of each cirrus cloud disappearing along the horizon? Did it hear each lyric to every song, and did it remember even its own dreams from the night before? Or rather, was the impression formed after a process of less than random selection? Does it choose which events to exaggerate, which to suppress, which to put in the basket, and which to leave behind? And who is responsible for making these selections? Someone other than yourself? Or can we rightly say it was the ‘will,’ there quietly choosing how your life will seem to you, even before you have lived it? I’ve gone far beyond the scope and breadth of my knowledge even in asking these questions, but all that’s to say that much of what I relate will be an impression, or about one, and they are only abbreviations of real things. First impression of the Camino: it is long, and therefore there is the time and space for the long thought, rather than the short cut. For detail and accuracy over expedience. So advanced apologies to those accustomed to snippets and slogans which are brief enough not to slow your Instagram-scroll. This is a space for solitude, for the hard-earned truths that come with alone-ness. Maybe it should be considered “anti-social media.” For things in reality cannot be reduced to less than they are themselves; there is no way to relate splendor in a way that is less than splendid, or pain in a way that does not hurt. So carry in the back of your mind this kind of skepticism as you read, and be aware of your own mind, as you think of one and a half million individual steps as though it were one walk.

#ghostinthegrain

[ricardosousalemos]

The Chainsmokers: Memories...Do Not Open

Commercial EDM thrives on triumph, each one greater than the last, and the Chainsmokers have a bootstrap story as big as any in the game. When Drew Taggart and Alex Pall released “#SELFIE” in December 2013, they were relative nobodies trying to make a dent on the EDM scene. A month later, Steve Aoki’s Dim Mak label picked up the single—a novelty song about social media that suggested women are somehow more vain and annoying than men—and things started happening for the duo. But, like the viral spread of Baauer’s “Harlem Shake,” the success of “#SELFIE” and its attendant backlash threatened to eclipse their fledgling career.

“We made a novelty record that was, in my opinion, one of the most clever records ever made... Obviously not everyone got the joke,” Taggart told Idolator in late 2015, gravely underestimating everyone's ability to get jokes. “But we’re working our way out of that and proving that we’re pretty well-rounded musicians.” So they abandoned their EDM to emphasize slower tempos, slinky melodies, and songs about bruised feelings. Whether they helped initiate the move away from super-sized dance music or merely sniffed the shifting winds, it was a canny move. In the past year, they have become one of the biggest names in pop music. On YouTube, a pair of videos for their single “Closer”—a moody, surprisingly convincing song about sex, regret, and the passage of time—has been viewed 1.6 billion times. Their 10 most popular songs on YouTube and Spotify alone account for a combined seven billion plays.

This stylistic and emotional maturation is a big part of the narrative the Chainsmokers tell about themselves as party bros made good. The first lines we hear on the album are an apology: “You know I’m sorry,” sings a wounded, suspicious Taggart, sounding more like an emo singer than a superstar DJ, and it sets the brooding tone for an album preoccupied with breakups and betrayals. Musically, Memories… Do Not Open is of a piece with all of their output post-“Roses,” the single that marked their big shift. There are no big-room bangers, no concussive drops, no coked-up-mosquito-with-a-vuvuzela synth riffs. Diplo and Skrillex’s big hit for Justin Bieber, “Where Are Ü Now,” serves as the template for their pneumatic pads and processed vocals. With few exceptions—like “Break Up Every Night,” a peppy pop-rock number that could be a more caffeinated MAGIC!, or “Last Day Alive,” which features the country duo Florida Georgia Line in the musical equivalent of a poster of fighter jets—the duo and their 32 credited co-writers keep the tempos slow and the moods muted. It is an anodyne pop record for a post-EDM world, one where trap and trop-house mix with pale imitations of the Migos flow and Coldplay’s cornball sentimentality. None of it sounds anything like “#SELFIE,” but its worldview is barely any bigger than that song's narrow perspective; toggling between cheap thrills and bitter recriminations with all the emotional stakes of a drunken beach fight caught on Snapchat.

Taggart first sang on one of the duo’s songs with “Closer,” and its success seems to have encouraged him to take more of the spotlight here. His voice is capable, deep and boomy, and he has a way with reaching down for the low notes that faintly resembles the Crash Test Dummies. His chief quality, though, in song as in interviews, is a kind of everydude relatability, mapped out in conversational lines like, “Fuck it, yeah, I said it.” It is indicative of the Chainsmokers’ irony: a #nofilter vernacular sung through countless vocal filters.

Only “Paris” comes close to what they achieved with “Closer.” It’s enlivened by a similar ear for detail that flickers between the specific and the universal, and its us-against-the-world chorus has a way of reaching even the inner teen of even the most hardened listener. But too many of their songs writhe around in pettiness. “She wants to break up every night/Then tries to fuck me back to life” takes the art of the couplet to a new low—though whether that’s lower than the same song’s “She’s got seven different personalities/Every one’s a tragedy” may depend upon your views on assonance, make-up sex, and mental-health shaming. “Wake Up Alone” wastes Jhené Aiko on a song about worrying that once you’re rich and famous, people will only want to have sex with you for being rich and famous. And “It Won’t Kill Ya” pulls out all the stops—swaggering trap beats, horn fanfare, dolorous piano—for a song about hooking up before last call.

For two guys who sell reckless abandon as a lifestyle, they're just not very fun to be around. The smirk they wore on “#SELFIE” is dwarfed by the massive chip on their shoulder—both as Artists Who Demand to Be Taken Seriously and more exhaustingly as Dudes Who Can’t Seem to Catch a Break. The narcissism comes to a head on “Honest,” in which the song’s protagonist is tugged between his faithful girlfriend and the temptations of life on the road. “Bloodstream” might best encapsulate the album’s spiritual void. You don’t need to read the duo’s exegesis (“We are often criticized for being ‘party boys’ in what seems to be an attempt to discredit our artistry, when in fact, our partying has led to some of our most sobering songwriting moments”) to grok that it’s another song about the perils of fame. “Those things that I said/They were so overrated/But I, yeah, I meant it/Oh yeah, I really fucking meant it.” I’m not sure “overrated” means what he thinks it means here if he’s complaining that people have blown the duo's poorly thought-through public statements out of proportion.

But none of this stuff has happened in a vacuum. Despite the preponderance of sad piano across the album, the Chainsmokers remain preening arena hams who make videos that look like Maxim spreads. And that, as much as anything, is why they are so popular. The regret that’s baked into their tired-of-winning debut has as much to do with the ennui gnawing at the heart of modern culture as it does any of the time-worn traditions of teenage kicks, star-crossed lovers, and spring break blackout episodes. Beneath its shiny veneer, Memories… Do Not Open is a Pandora's box of self-loathing that, to use their vernacular, also wants to be really fucking meaningful. It would be daring to say that there’s levels to their music because maybe, like “#SELFIE,” this is all pop-art commentary and we’re still not getting the joke. But their billions of plays don’t lie: They've just got their fingers pressed to the basic, regressive pulse of America. 

#reviews-albums

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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