#also im not very good at writing but ive got to practice somehow!

[justsomeradom]

Leon kennedy x stalker reader!

hello everyone this is my first post and just so y'all know my writing isn't that good so i might mess up some commas and such hope you don"t mind :3

Warning: p in v, degradation?, smut.

Leon being a agent was always weary of his surroundings at all times. He would have never thought that you a stranger be able to sneak past his guard, but there you were watching him walk to his apartment, noticing his every move and detail. One night it was the same as always Leon comes back from a mission and you get word of it....somehow. You grab your camera and make your way towards his apartment. Per usual he takes his same route from the parking lot to his building. You have this habit of taking pictures of Leon as he walks to his destination but you would have never expected for this to happen. Your camera makes a shudder sound right as leon gets out of his car. leon looks around worried if someone was collecting information on him. you quickly hid but decided to peak over the bush you were hiding behind.

He saw you.

Leon then starts running towards you and you start booking it. He catches up fast due to his rigorous training. Leon then tackles you to the floor making you both grunt in pain. you tried to get up and run but Leon pins you down.

"who the hell are you!" Leon shouts

you look at him in shock not being able to speak. Leon then grabs you camera and deletes the photo but but not before seeing the rest.

"what the hell...." Leon said in disbelief. "who the hell do you work for!"

" I-I" you said trying to come up with an excuse.

"Im dragging your ass to the police department" said leon in anger

"w-wait no!" you said in desperation

"then get to talking!" Leon said in frustration.

"ok fine look i've just...."

Leon looks at him with a annoyed face.

"ive just been interested in you so i've been following you around and taking pictures of you".

Leon looks at you with pity on his face

"wow how can someone be this pitiful" he said with a disgusted tone

he then walks away with your camera.

"please Leon give me a chance!" you said desperate

"come" said leon not looking back.

you then followed him into his apartment that was surprisingly very clean and nicely decorated.

"strip" said Leon

"h-huh"

"i said strip"

you didn't protest you just did as you were told until there was nothing on you.

"wow such a needy slut i didn't even have to force you" leon said smirking

you look away feeling embarrassed.

"don't look away you wanted this didn't you"

you then look at him.

Leon then sits you on the couch.

"open up" said leon looking down on you

you then open your mouth and leon spends no time unzipping his pants and shoving his cock in your mouth making you gag.

"good girl open up" Leon say with a slight moan

he then starts moving faster making you bob faster. Leon's hands stroke your hair while also pushing you deeper onto his cock.

"f-fuck if i knew you were this good at sucking dick i would have been the one spying on you"

that comment made your panties wet.

leon was close....dangerously close.

he then became rougher and was bucking his hips into your mouth and making it harder for you to breath.

"f-uck" leon said grunting.

and with that leon then came all in your mouth making your mouth feel warm.

Without him asking you swallowed it all.

he then pulls out and puts his cock away zipping up his pants.

you stare at him in confusion clearly wanting to be pleased aswell

"what you really think im going to fuck your only hole" leon said smirking

you stare at him in disbelief.

"be here same time next week" leon said turning away from you.

you didn't want to push your luck so you got dressed and started to head towards the door.

"make sure you practice how to not gag so much when you have dick in your throat" leon shouted from across the room

you then excited slamming the door behind you.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon kennedy smut #smut

[hearts4robs]

Hello~!

I've never done a match up event before! But knew I had to try once I saw it was open cause your writing is absolutely precious!

For Fandom, I guess DC! Love Batfam family chaos! Makes me want to curl up with a blanket and watch them bicker and roughhouse until Alfred comes in with a feather duster, looking equal parts disappointed and amused.

I'm a 5'3 18 year old asexual panromatic. (Yes, im just a baby, though i have been told-more like my therapist often told me that i dont act my age, saying i act like Im 30. Still trying to figure out if I should be offended by that.) With long hair that's completely grown out red box dye like little mermaid red, my roots being somehow not quite brown not quite ginger and just not blonde enough to be strawberry blonde. My appearance is fairly round and cute even if my expression is often RB. My eyes are a green that appears to be more of a dark grey.

To sum up my personality in one word would be cat like. Sometimes I'm docile and actually a bit of a doormat. In new environments, I tend to shadow some I know and can't find myself able to stand up for myself. This is probably ties into my selective mutism and social anxiety. Sometimes, when I'm in a familiar environment, I tend to be more aggressive for better or for worse. I love a good argument and debate, standing firm in my decision even if I'm wrong. That stubbornness has gotten me in trouble quite a few times. Though cause of it, I've thought of becoming a lawyer. When I'm not arguing I'm drawing, or painting on my walls which I've done far too many times now.

I'm very much a homebody who rather stay in pjs but perfect date wise would probably be a bit of a classic nerd/bookworm date of going to a cute book store and getting lost in the deep wooden bookshelves flicking through various of books catching my eye. Maybe debating on what book is better or whatever trope is more interesting in a detective novel. (I love murder mystery, horror, thrillers, romances of all types, and absolutely despise shakespeare. I was told Romeo and Juliet was a tragic romance. Liars they all are all I can see is the making of a really creepy stalker movie. I can't watch horror movies funny little contradiction, right?) Personally I'd probably write something after the date. I always get inspired by going out and always find myself hunched over my laptop writing whatever inspired me have it be the moment or a movie. I don't know how many times I've watched a movie and got inspired just to spend hours writing whatever fanfic about it. Which can be either amazing or terrible cause I'm an okay writer with a preference for angst due to my dark humor.

I never realized how hard it was to pick an ideal type until just now lol. I guess my type is someone who would enjoy talking/debating/discussing with me, someone fun who loves to do new activities as ive never really do much and is willing to listen to me ramble about whatever hyperfixation. Bucket list kind of things or be able to stay in and talk about their day while I cook some food. (One of my love languages is food. I want to be full and content.) I'm a homebody who has more of a traditional mindset due to my upbringing. So staying home and activities at home would probably be more common. Oh! A bit more open minded or at leasr able to deal with my curiosity, I love discussing religions and culture practices (im unfortunately like the whitest of whites. My dad's side is a bit of a classic white racist). I'm a pagan with some more Wiccan practices, yes crystals and candles. We put holly near our front door and hang cinnamon brooms throughout the house to bring good fortune.

Trope is also a hard pick. I like a good enemies to lovers or a revenge story but romance wise probably a childhood friends (or friends to lovers) idea. Just the idea of your partner being someone who was your friend since you were a tot and chasing butterflies, picking dandelions to blow them into the wind. Someone who has looked at you like your the center of their world while you pull them through the park. Even though they have no idea what lo6ge is truly is. Just kind of melts my heart, and will probably give me cavities from the fluff.

Ahh hopefully I did this right! Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. Hope you have a blessed day, and something amazing happens to you soon <3

𝐓𝐢𝐦 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐞: 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞-𝐨𝐮𝐭

“I’m back!” Tim exclaims out into the open hallway as he pushes the door closed with his foot. There were multiple white, thin plastic bags in Tim’s hands, his keys dangling from one of his fingers.

You raise your head from the book in your lap, leaning forward to catch a glimpse of your boyfriend as he shimmied his way out of his shoes.

“Hi, honey.” You smile at him as he walks to the coffee table in front of you, setting down the bags of different take-out.

“Alright.” Tim sighs with a grin, his chest heaving a bit quicker, like he was a bit out of breath.

“What’s all this?” You ask, reaching over and pulling some of the thin plastic away from the food. “Smells amazing, no doubt but-“

“Well, you said you wanted to taste the world.” Tim says, a giddy smile on his lips as he plops down onto the couch beside you with a sigh. “So I brought it to you.”

You smile at him before snorting out a chuckle.

“Fuck you.” You say, and Tim simply smiles before grabbing a small box of thai food, handing it to you, giving you a chance to get the first bite.

“You’re welcome.” He says, nuzzling a small kiss to the softness of your cheek.

Headcanons:

Tim and you have annual movie nights. Every Friday night. Very simple, very easy. You have a joint letterbox account where you leave brutally honest reviews and you both analyse that shit like your life depends on it.

When you guys moved into your shared apartment, Tim dedicated one of the walls of your living room for you to paint and draw on. Needed more space? He’ll paint it over with whatever background colour you need.

You guys have a small chalk board on your fridge. It was used as a small shopping list at first, like writing up stuff like ‘ran outta eggs and cucumber’, but it quickly ended up in Tim leaving you cute notes and reminders for when he was gone on patrol.

Tim doesn’t always understand your asexuality, and he struggled to figure out how to relieve himself, but he figured out a solution and tries to turn the topic whenever someone discusses it to the point it makes you uncomfortable.

I hope you like this </3 it’s a bit late and honestly a little rushed but I’m trying😭🙏this also ISN’T proof-read so I’m so, so sorry if there’s mistakes☝️☹️

#★ robins match up event! ★ #★ robins events ★ #I’m just tapping atp #dc #dc x reader #sfw #tim drake x reader #Tim Drake x reader sfw #red Robin x reader #red robin dc

[ankhisms]

ok one lovely person said they wanted to read the writing practice i mentioned being tentative about sharing so here <3 i have some notes and thoughts as well included. since the dont reblog function is still broken pls dont rb this thanks

as a disclaimer i am very rusty with prose which is why im trying to practice it at all since ive mainly been writing poetry and not any prose for the past few years since i felt discouraged about writing prose but now im trying to get myself to practice again. also one thing im aware of is that i have a tendency to accidentally switch between tenses so if you notice that yes i know its something im working on. also both of these arent finished they have gaps between action and thoughts which ive noted in the text

for this first one i havent written the beginning establishing the setting and everything but the premise is hiromu has a dream where he and enter are sitting at a cafe in paris and shenanagins ensue. well not really shenanagins its just a conversation i think their dynamic is interesting and i wanted to explore it in a more neutral not battle related setting so thats why i wrote this

---

(beginning and descriptions of surrounding add here)

hiromus narrows his eyes, "did you hack into my dreams?"

this causes enter to scoff, "really, red buster, you wound me," he rests his chin against his palm and explains, "i havent hacked into anything. you called me here."

"thats ridiculous," says hiromu, blunt even when sleeping.

enter smiles, "oui, ridiculous, perhaps,  but it is true none the less. it would be rude of me to refuse an invitation, dont you agree?" he pauses, and leans over the table to add, "besides, i wouldnt lie to you- at least not here."

hiromu doesnt like that one bit, nor does he believe anything enter could possibly say. still, its not as if enter had invaded his subconciousness and just started torturing him with computer cables. compared to the more avian related nightmares hiromu had, this was pretty tame.

he briefly tries to recall anything he could have possibly read before, even in passing, about how to wake yourself up from a dream. unfortunately for hiromu the only thing that comes to mind is how to wake up a buddyroid from sleep mode. too bad he doesnt just have some kind of power switch like nick or usada. but maybe something similar to that could work, some kind of jolt to his system. people pinch themselves when theyre dreaming, right? or was it something about holding your breath? hiromu cant remember which one is supposed to work, so with a deep inhale he starts pinching his arms.

to enters credit, he doesnt immediately laugh like a madman upon seeing hiromus cheeks puffed out while he frantically pinches his arms. the most he lets out is a quick snort, before reaching over the table to pat hiromus cheek, "your manners are awful," enter says, "weve only just said hello and youre already trying to wake up. you cant possibly hate me that much, mon cher."

the hand against his cheek is warm. of course, most peoples hands should logically be warm to touch, but not enters. the projection of a human shouldnt be warm. did jin ever feel warm? hiromu doesnt feel keen about playing back all the moments during battle when enter had gotten close enough to possibly feel some kind of heat. thus, thinking about his avatar team mate is the better option. except he cant recall any time jin had ever felt warm either. does a dream offer an avatar more humanity somehow?

hes thought about it for too long perhaps, because he hasnt replied and enter is starting to look at him curiously, and so hiromu decides he can dwell on it when hes actually awake. he lets out his breath and swats away enters hand with a scowl for good measure. enter feigns an exaggerated pout, but then he settles back in his seat all the same, keeping his hands to himself.

hiromus cheek still feels warm and itchy, but hell be damned if he lets enter know something he did got under his skin. this too is like a battle, the enemy can find weaknesses even in the smallest of movements. he restrains himself from scratching his face, opting instead to glare more at enter across the table.

his enemy looks different in the cerebral parisian landscape theyve found each other in. for one thing, hes actually wearing civillian clothes rather than his usual long coat or any of his attempts at disguising himself. with enter perched opposite of him wearing a dark turtle neck and a caramel sweater, hiromu is struck by the jarring realization that the avatar almost looks like a normal person. almost, if one didnt already know that the man sitting there was made of code rather than flesh and bone.

eyeing him carefully, hiromu thinks that he catches the slightest glitch at the edge of enters face, an abnormality that is gone by the time hiromu has noticed it. enter may have decided to wear something a little more reasonable for this encounter, but he still isnt fooling hiromu. even in a fashionable sweater theres something off about him.

the rest of his attire aside, he does still have those ridiculous goggles pushed up against his brow, because of course he does. he would fit the part of a cafe loving paris tourist better if he had a silly little beret instead of his trusty eyeware, but hiromu doesnt particularly feel like pointing that out. seeing enter flounce around in a beret isnt exactly an enjoyable thought at the moment.

(add something here)

"ive heard about people going to paris for the first time and getting sick from the shock of how dirty it is," hiromu says, "you should be glad it doesnt smell here."

enters nose wrinkles, "dont say that, you'll ruin my appetite"

"so you have an appetite? its not like you need to eat, right?"

the avatar shrugs, and carefully picks up his fork, saying, "i may have no need for food to survive, but that doesnt mean i cant enjoy it." enter takes his time with slicing off a chunk of the lemon cake between them, and continues, "theres things humans dont need but do none the less, non? your lives are so short after all, why not chase after every little pleasure."

seeming satisfied with himself, enter takes a bite, eyes closed with an exaggerated look of bliss. whatever emotion it is that enter has been trying to elicit from hiromu, hes just growing more annoyed, rolling his eyes and pointedly turning his body away from the cake.

(add something here)

hiromu stands up with a jolt, and the screeching sound of his chair breaks what little illusion of idle cafe chatter this dream had left to offer. he fumes, fists clenched with his gaze set firmly on enter, who only barely looks up to offer a smug smile.

"we," hiromu spits out the word disdainfully, "are nothing alike. theres nothing to compare between us."

despite the outburst of his dining companion, enters expression remains unchanged. if anything, hiromus insistance upon distancing himself has only amused enter further. he laughs, throwing up his hands half heartedly, as if they were old friends having a casual debate rather than mortal enemies with their blades always at each others throats.

"i suppose we should leave it at that then," enter reaches for one final bite of cake, clearly enjoying himself, "this has been lovely, you really should invite me more often, ma puce."

"go to hell," hiromu tells him, and lunges to try and land a punch against that awful smile.

by the time hiromus fist reaches where enters face would have been, the avatar has already disintegrated into a burst of code. orange numbers and the distant sound of laughter linger for a moment in the air, before hiromu blinks awake in his room.

---

this second one i wrote before the first one and im still not very happy with it and might scrap it and try to rewrite it. i couldnt decide what point of view i wanted to write it from between third person pov or vaguely enter talking so it feels muddled to me. this was mainly a kind of train of thought because i had and still have a lot of thoughts about the avatars and what it means to be human and what it means to be an avatar and if they can feel things etc along with enter and escape being their own people and having their own identities and lives. but i feel like i didnt exactly get all the thoughts that i wanted to convey across very well so again im probably going to rewrite this at some point lmao

--

86 billion neuron cells, with another million billion synapses connecting the spaces in between, all sending information to and from the brain, the extremities and sensory organs having gathered data from the outside worlds stimulation in order to help the human machine function.

  from ancient calculating tables and tally sticks, to early machines reading punch cards, to alan turings first thought of the modern computer, you could trace an avatars lineage back to the very first time a human began to count just as easily as you could to any of these.

enter and escape are not any of the doomed researchers that crossed the gap between dimensions, whos data was cleanly picked apart from their miserable mortal bones and woven back into the code of their forms. perhaps you can not fault those same humans for their squeamishness at the thought of any person being undone in such a way, let alone a family member. really, nature has functioned like this long before the first digital computer ever graced the earth with its code.

when a deer falls dead in the forest its body becomes food for the rest of the life among the trees, and in time its flesh decomposes and turns to soil. another one bites the dust only to offer up a meal for the starving masses. you are born, you die, and someone finds a way to steal from you long after youre gone. c'est la vie, as we say.

think of it, dear reader, as such; a thousand photos lie before you of humans. pictures of people from across the world, some of them seeming familiar and some of them with faces unknown to you. you can thumb through as many as youd like, but in the end you will always come to the same realization that somewhere, within these people, are bits and pieces of yourself. this one, looking off camera against a gray sky, has your nose. this person, leaning against a bridge and failing to strike a good pose, has your eyes. the next person will have your smile, ectera ectera. you get the picture- ha.

even if you were not flipping through a book of old family records you would still spot bits of yourself in people far away and long dead. this, mon cher, is how i see best fit to consider what it means to be created from composite data, for i assure you one need not be an avatar to be formed in such a way. you have been strung together from bits and pieces of every person your ancestors ever loved.

love, ah. thats another subject we must discuss, sooner or later, i suppose. can a machine love? really now, i wish you would find something else to ask. anything else would be a more stimulating topic of conversation. why must we agonize over such messy details? humans simply can not stop themselves from philosophizing until theyve got nothing left to make a philosophy out of.

what does it matter if a machine could or couldnt love, when plenty of stinking humans have never even thought to act on the very principle they obsess over. love. let us not get sidetracked by such nonsense, we still have other aspects to examine.

delete that last input, page back with me, now think again on the subject of data, and of rebirth. the doomed researchers are not escape, nor are they enter, just as much as you are not the person who first gave you a specific gene in your dna. the researchers were a sample for an experiment greater than any they had ever run through before. do you get it now? do you understand? of course you wouldnt. humans are foolish enough to think they are one of a kind.

   forget about if a machine loves, just what can an avatar feel? if their coding is to be equated to the human nervous system, then is it so hard to consider that they too could find the many vices of the earth pleasurable? enter cursed himself for spoiling messiah, having given the virus too much of a taste of just how splendid human suffering could feel. he was taught pleasure too soon, and greed was already something he knew from birth. enter should have known better than to offer up a plate of food he could not continue to harvest sustainably- not yet, at least. especially when the one gobbling down that harvest throws a tantrum the moment its all gone.

really, is it so terrible to ask for a thank you once in a while? you would think that after devoting your existence entirely to a single being, you might get a few bones thrown your way. in this we could draw another parallel between the humans and machine, where enter is scorned by his messiah in the same vein as humans praying for salvation from some unforgiving god.

i am drifting off course. forgive me, you see a machine can ramble just as easily as a human, non?

---

ok yay thanks if you read all or any of this honestly i appreciate it. id love any feedback anyone has including constructive criticism from writer friends but i just ask that you maybe try to be a little gentle with me and remember that im very rusty yknow but i do still appreciate any thoughts or helpful tips thank u again mwah

[screamingay]

started ranting about doctor who to my gf and realized i actually have a lot of opinions (which start off summarizing hbomberguy's takes from the sherlock video but it was kind of a revelation for me) so if u want to hear them ive copypasted and edited them a bit for u guys under the cut <3

so like to set up how bad steven moffat is he explains why doctor who was so bad when moffat was the showrunner in a way ive been trying to articulate for years

basically he's a decent writer who was good at individual episodes that make reference to the doctors history but when it came to actually writing that history and the big events that would become the doctor's history he sucks so so so badly

like in the empty child he was amazing, he prioritized the story of the episode while giving the doctor an air of mystery and references a long and complicated backstory without compromising any charm or humor

but in the very first episode where he had reins on the entire show and its storylines he resorted to just a monologue from the doctor about how cool and special he is and that trend continued the whole time he was in charge. the entire universe suddenly revolved around the doctor

like. chibnall was clearly trying to subvert that by only using brand new aliens during his first season and having extra companions (three of them jesus christ) but he didn't address the heart of the problem and somehow made it even worse. the charm of the doctor was always that they were just a traveler bouncing around the universe and helping people or having fun or whatever

and of course there was always the tragic backstory and the genocide and being the last of his kind and all that but that always came second to the humans he loved!! the first time the master came back in tennant's run it was martha and her family and jack that saved him!! and chibnall tried to do that with yaz but it just didnt feel as impactful bc of how overpowering the master & timeless child plots were (dont even get me started on the timeless child shit retconning the entire history of the show to make the doctor quite literally the most important being in the universe)

moffat on the other hand went all over the place with it and wrote in intergalactic cults deadset on killing the doctor and when he did try to make companions special and important he completely took away their agency in the process

to me clara was a decent companion and had some great moments for me until she turned out to be not real or a metaphor or forgotten or dead or somehow retconned into existing since the show started in 1963 it was all so WEIRD and misses the point of making a companion important. it made her so important she lost her humanity imo

and then there was bill who also died and was mutilated beyond recognition and it just makes me think about how rtd never did that to companions. they were special not because of time magic or destiny or fucked up deaths but because they were just humans. with families. martha got to go back to her family. donna had to forget but she was happy in the end. rose was supposed to live out her life in the parallel universe with her own mortal doctor, and she did, but moffat STILL found a way to bring her back as a metaphor because his desire to deconstruct female companions into concepts and tragedies was just too strong

that's not even getting into what he did to river. or amy...

none of this is to say rtd is perfect of course, i'm really nervous to see how he deals with everything that's been thrown at the show in the past couple decades but considering he plans on staying for a while i really hope he manages to put a better twist on all of it. honestly the thing im most curious about is the special effects.. the show has been leaving very heavily on cg lately but chibnall did introduce a few decent practical effects and puppets so i hope rtd pushes for more of that. im getting off topic tho

that's all i have for now i hope u enjoyed and if u wanna discuss anything pls feel free although that's all the brainpower i have for today come back tomorrow <3

#the thing about doctor who is that it's still doctor who even when it's bad. which presents a dilemma to every new showrunner #in that they have to find a way to either incorporate the previous canon into their canon or find a way to discard it. in canon #how funny would it be if rtd started and immediately said all the timeless child bs was a fever dream

[rocaillefox]

on another note i disagree vehemently with judging books or media solely by their genre. like- thats the vehicle with which they are telling their story, and sometimes they have fancy cupholders and custom hubcaps or whatever, maybe its got a sunroof, but the contents inside are ultimately more important. not to say some genres dont have recurrent problems (ive seen so much zombie media id have to forget a solid 80% of it to make that claim) but that doesnt mean they dont have potentially important or relevant things to say, or arent making significant improvements on the standards within their genre. thats just the basic topic of the book, like finding an essay written about x war or such and such scientific field- before making a judge you have to actually read the paper in context and being open to the idea of there being larger allegories or themes in it.

genre fiction isnt escapism or somehow separate from the human experience. yeah, some books may follow a cookie cutter formula, but theyre also important to analyze in contsxt- and to show the current prevailing themes within said genre. every book has themes. every book has potential allegories and symbols. maybe theyre disorganized, or not followed through on, maybe theyre poorly chosen themes for the genre, maybe the symbols are too multifaceted or so specific it becomes heavy-handed, but they Are still there.

like just in general- im a big proponent of 'every genre deserves to be taken seriously', like ive written about animal fiction before and how the underestimation and softening of its implications has led to rampant racism and biological essentialism within the genre, at the very least partially based on pseudoscience being presented as immutable facts and through facets of oppression being painted as inherent to sentient life, which has resulted in alt right talking points and racial caricatures being shared and recreated uncritically in what is a modern commodification of people of color and disabled individuals.

and as soon as we write off an entire genre as 'only x thing', we are refusing to engage critically with any works within that genre or to properly analyze them for their long-term effects and implications or to see the history behind said choices. 'the curtains are just blue' as a mindset refuses to think about the implications behind authorial decisions or where authors get their ideas, or what effect those ideas may have after being written.

also, to judge something solely as escapism just means its upholding the status quo, or saying 'its safe to stop thinking during this book', or means its reaffirming a belief you have already been told about. the problem is that, generally, its a good idea to practice critical thinking about everything you read? especially since people affected by oppression dont have the choice to stop thinking about it. books that uphold the status quo are still saying something positive about that status quo. books or even entire genres classified as escapist fiction should be analyzed deeply, as theyre assuming youre just going to stop thinking about context or larger implications when reading, which is a big issue lol

etc etc etc also yes this includes YA, scifi, fantasy, animal fiction, supernatural fiction, historical fiction, alt historical fictions, romance, etc.

#ramblings #mar does reading

[mawileskitchen]

(Asking--Sterling) Nayden@Mawile: The eon noticed the Mawile, and decided to have a quick chat with her along the way. "Hello! You looking good today! Quick talk, do you have any names... like others called me Nayden, not Eon... or i just call you Mawile?"

“... and not really. I’m the only Mawile where I’m from so everyone has always just called me that! My moms are Ampharos and Cinccino, and they’re the only of their kind at my grove as well. I think the only Pokemon I know besides you with a name is my neighbor! He’s a Parasect but we all just call him Steve. I’ve never heard of an Eon before! You seem to be quite special. I’m glad you came to talk to me :) “

#asking--sterling #replies #thank you so much for the asks everyone! i promise i will get to them all but drawing takes me a little while #and i like to make sure im happy with it as well #also im not very good at writing but ive got to practice somehow! #pokemon #pokemon ask blog #mawile #my art

[transmasc-wizard]

autism? autism! me too!!! wanna rant about your special interests? go for it!

hello fellow autistic individual

be warned im about to talk a FUCK TON, specifically about the raven cycle. this post will very much need a "readmore" to keep it from clogging dashes

ANYWAY

the raven cycle is a YA urban fantasy quartet by maggie stiefvater published between 2012 and 2016, which also has a spinoff series "the dreamer trilogy" but ive only read the first Dreamer so far; i have a signed copy of the 2nd and am mildly worried ill ruin it. i first read TRC last year in july and am actually currently doing my 3rd read (via audiobook this time). So what is it about, you ask??? WELL

TRC stars 5 teenagers--Adam Parish, Ronan Lynch, Richard Gansey, Blue Sargent, and Noah Czerny. the boys meet blue at a restaurant and somehow drag her into their "quest"--find the body of Owen Glendower in the hills of virginia and wake him up. They want to do this because when gansey was 10 he died via wasp stings and was brought back to life with the voice of glendower talking to him and now he's OBSESSED with finding glendower. Along the way we find out Blue is gonna kill her true love, and that guy probably is gansey (who only has a year to live).

u may be thinking, 'alright, cool plot, but why special interest-worthy?" and i shall gently yell BECAUSE ITS THE BEST WRITING AND CHARACTERIZATION IVE EVER COME ACROSS

Maggie stiefvater knows how to make the best characters, like, ever, because she doesnt do the typical YA thing of "oh uwu here are their flaws: theyre too nice, too sweet, too naive". she's got shit like "purposely failing school" & "stupid about money and insensitive to friends about it" and "refuses to ask for help" and "drinks to cope", y'know, things that are actually flaws to overcome.

they've also all got amazing little traits just-to-them; blue really likes trees, layers her clothing, loves yogurt, is the only non-psychic in a family of them, & shreds her shirts to make them look more interesting. Ronan races cars, knows how to farm, LOVES his little pet bird (named Chainsaw btw), and grapples with being religious (catholic) vs being gay. Noah is quiet and "smudgy" and doesn't eat enough (because he doesnt. actually. have a stomach or like an actual brain really thats another thing tho). Gansey loves his journal and is terrified of wasps and eats avacado on his pizza and is really good at finding things. Adam wears a coca-cola shirt and is super focused around money (bc he Has None) and lives above a church and helps ronan do stupid shit. like, this is the stuff i thought of within 30 seconds for each character, and most of that alone is in the 1st book. like, it gets even more thorough as it goes on.

and the WRITING. i know exactly what the inside of gansey's car looks like and it wasnt boring to learn that. like, i still remember that stiefvater described that there's CDs in the backseat and beef jerky thats long expired and too many receipts. I remember 300 fox way (blue's house) doesnt have a single man living there and that there's a sewing-phone-cat room. I remember monmouth (gansey's house) was a factory but it's unknown what it produced but there's scorch marks on the walls and really high ceilings. I know blue adores the stars and trees and i know persephone (blue's mother's friend) listens to angry PHD music. Like, this was all peppered in casually but written in such a gripping way that its lodged in my brain. i was never once bored reading TRC, and ive gotten bored reading almost every other book, even the ones i love.

and the MAGIC is so cool, there's psychics and trees that speak (but only in latin!) and dragons made of fire that came out of people's heads and demon bugs and weird sticky stuff that tears apart the world. it's not all explained, and i love that, because it's explained enough that i'm satisfied but i don't somehow know more than all the characters combined.

... anyway i realize ive practically written an essay, and also i have to do my nano shit now cause theres not a ton of hours left in the day, but!!! soul is doing the smiley emote!! because raven cycle!!

anyway everyone should read it, it's very very cool

(also i will be posting my Autistic Gansey Theory at some point)

good day to all

#the raven cycle #trc #the raven cycle quartet #trc fandom #asks #special interests #i have 3 spins of rotating intensity lol #atm TRC is tied with writing as the biggest #this made my soul so happy #in which nico remembers he is a fandom blog too #books #bookblr #actuallyautistic #self dx autistic #not writblr

[one-boring-person]

You forced this upon yourself😂 you forced this rambo simp.(and i dont mind)

Okay this may not be as good! But! Im giving you the liberty to take it where you want!(because i love your little details and how you express the feeling in your writing i- AH! Its great. I cant say it enough, it’s great. I mean it.)

How about Rambo finally getting enough courage to show The rancher around the tunnels, in a date sort of way!(they don’t know thats actually where he lives. Aka that photo i showed you before.) i really saw how the rancher was so happy to have him at their house, I’d love to see rambos side of scheduling a house tour and date type deal!! Maybe him even sitting and showing the rancher through all his old photos, and them just in awe because wow. He’s so much cooler than they even thought! He just so nervous and surprised seeing them so interested in him after all this time alone, and them just- in awe of him.

( i also really think it would be funny seeing rambo go through his friends house and seeing-“why the hell you have so many plants???” And just. Adorable assassin living with a wholesome and loving hardworking s/o)

Ah! Im sorry if that’s not as good!! But hey, you feel free to describe their antics and relationship as you will!!

I think I may have run a bit with this, but I hope you like it regardless!😊💛

I've Got Your Back, You've Got Mine.

John Rambo (Rambo IV/V) x reader

Warnings: mention of death, mention of war, mention of injury, mention of PTSD, mention of violence, (possible flash warning for gif?)

Masterlist

The heavy knock on the door surprises me where I'm sitting, the sharp sound snapping me from my thoughts. Looking over at it from my position at the table, I frown and set down my spoon, standing to go answer, unsure of who it is: I'm not expecting anyone today. Colt looks up from his place on the floor, the dog just as curious as I am as to whom it may be, though he doesn't bark, so it must be someone we know. He watches me as I cross the room, going straight to the door.

Opening it, I'm somewhat surprised to see my neighbour, John, standing there, a tentative smile on his face as he looks me over appreciatively, his gaze drawing a blush to my face. 

"Mornin' (Y/n)." He greets, rough voice friendly as he waits for me to let him in.

"Morning John." I smile back, delighted to see him, "What can I do for you?"

I step back, waiting for him to enter, which he does so with a nod of thanks.

"Since when have I needed a reason to see you?" The veteran chuckles, the sound reverberating within me, my brain subconsciously storing the action away for later recall. Gently, John moves into my space, one hand coming to lightly rest on my hips as the other cups my face, drawing me in for a slow kiss. 

Kissing back, I feel a glow of happiness flare up in me at this contact: he's never really one to initiate touch like this, so it's a whole lot more intimate when he does. Relaxed, I loosely wrap my arms around his neck, languidly caressing his dark hair as our lips move together. 

Being the killjoy he often loves to be, Colt pushes in between us, nosing at John's leg, tail wagging enthusiastically as he recognises the familiar man, the dog as fond of his company as I am. Chuckling, John and I pull apart, looking down at the large canine between us, the dark eyes staring up at us imploring us to pay attention to him. Still smiling, John lowers a hand to scratch Colt's head, ruffling his floppy ears a little as the dog instantly allows his mouth to hang open, tongue lolling in content.

"Hey, Colt." The veteran greets, biting back a laugh as the dog pushes me out of the way, nudging at John's stomach.

"He never gets that excited to see me." I complain jokingly, standing back to watch the two interact, a smile playing at my lips.

"Sure he does." John replies, eyes fixing on mine with an expression of fondness, one that had me weak at the knees.

"He really doesn't, he just sits in the corner and whines at me until I feed him. Isn't that right?" I address the dog himself, giving him a light slap on the rear, his ridiculous height meaning I can quite easily reach it, "Anyhow, did you need something? Or did you just come here to kiss me? I can't say I'll complain if that's the case."

Cheekily, I wink at the veteran, leaning back against a nearby counter.

"As nice as that sounds, it's not the reason I came by." He chuckles, blushing lightly, "Though that does sound good."

Grinning, I nod my agreement, only now taking in his body language: he's nervous. His hands fidget, rubbing his fingers over scars and lines on his palms, and he shifts from foot to foot every now and then, small tells he's never quite managed to hide from me.

"Is something up?" I ask him, slightly more serious this time, unnerved by his discomfort.

"No, no, not at all. I, err, well, I just wanted to ask you something." He rubs the back of his neck, head tilted to the side as he regards me, dark eyes fixed on mine.

"Ok, go for it." I prompt him, curiosity sparking my interest.

"Well, do you wanna come to mine? I mean properly, like in the house." John cocks his head to the side, lowering his arm again.

Blinking, I feel shock flood my system, before it turns to unbelievable happiness that he's trusting me enough to come into his private space. Initially, I can't find the right words, somehow struggling to respond, until I find my tongue again.

"I would love to, John." I agree, features lighting up as my mood brightens, "There's nothing I've really got to do today except train up one of the younger horses, so I've got as long as you want after that."

"Great. Is four o'clock alright?" The veteran smiles broadly, though he still looks somewhat nervous.

"Yeah, should be. I'll be there." I promise him, taking up my Stetson from the table as I briefly turn away to put away the plate I was using, having lost my appetite in my sudden excitement.

"I'll get it tidy." He says, looking around the room again, "I'll never understand why you have so many plants in your house. It's like a damn jungle."

At his comment, I laugh loudly, glancing around at the variety of different houseplants I have placed on various shelves, the greenery practically covering every available surface. 

"Because it's way too dry to grow anything like this outside all the time. Anyway, they look nice." I shrug, calling Colt to my side as I follow John from the house, grabbing my jacket from the hook as I pass.

"But why so many?" 

Once again, I shrug, following him over to a nearby post, where he's hitched Bandit, the horse I gave him a few months ago. The buckskin stallion paws at the ground, his pale coat looking as clean as ever even as he noses at the dust, the dark colouring around his eyes (the reason for his name) and legs standing out much more in the bright sun. As we approach, he looks up, snorting in greeting.

"He's looking good." I acknowledge, admiring the strong stallion appreciatively - I had reared Bandit from a foal, before I had given him to the veteran as a gift four months ago, hoping it will help him to grow his own ranch. My plan had worked, and John now has four horses, including Bandit, as well as a couple of other animals, such as a cow, a pig and five chickens. I'd sold him a couple of goats as well, but we soon found out that John and goats just didn't get along. At all.

"Yeah, he's doing well, too. Takes the training very well, too." John runs a hand through the stallion's dark mane, untying the reins.

"That's good. Reckon he'll be ready for a competition soon?" 

"Should be." 

Snorting again, Bandit pulls at the reins, clearly eager to get going, especially as Colt moves up to sniff at the horse's back legs. I quickly whistle him over, knowing Bandit has always been shifty around the dog.

"I'll see you at four then." I finally say, unwilling to say goodbye, even if it is only for a few hours.

"Yeah, see you then." John smiles, leaning in to kiss me again, keeping it brief this time, leaving me wishing for more, as he always does.

"See ya." I grin, watching him climb into the saddle, still somehow fluid in doing so despite his age. 

Gathering the reins in hand, John adjusts himself in the saddle, before he smiles down at me again as he gently urges Bandit into motion. Obediently, the stallion moves into a swift trot, which turns into a faster canter as the two move off down the driveway, heading towards the split in the fence separating our land. I watch as they go, still finding myself enraptured by the sight of the muscular man sat astride the horse, Colt eventually snapping me from my mind as he barks at me. Shaking my head, I follow him towards the stable.

Hours later, having showered and cleaned up, I feel a sense of relief go through me as I hoist myself into the saddle secured into place on Leo's back. It's relaxing, the stallion beneath me more relaxed than the youngster I've been trying to train all day: she never gave me a break. Seemingly sensing this, as he always does, Leo flicks his ears back and nickers softly, very lightly pawing the ground as I give him a pat on the neck, glad to have a more reliable horse taking me where I need to be.

Tilting back my Stetson, I take the reins in hand and ease the stallion into a trot, intending to let him pick up his own pace, my trust in this horse far greater than in the mare from before. Obediently, Leo moves into the correct gait, the two of us moving as if as one, years of riding together having made it easy for us to become in tune with each other. Together, we start off down the road towards John's ranch, the new path we've created beaten and well-used, allowing for relatively easy riding. Leo's hooves pound the dry ground rhythmically, my hips moving in time with his every stride, the relaxing movement helping to calm the nerves that have sprung up inside me.

A part of me is still unconvinced about going into John's home. Yes, I had helped him rebuild it and had seen very little of the inside rooms, but it still feels as if I'm intruding upon the veteran's safe space, his reprieve from the cruelty of the world he lives in. Something about that doesn't sit right with me, but I tell myself it's John's decision to make, not mine, so I should trust him, which I do, wholeheartedly. 

I'm still torn by the time I reach the main house, where John is already sat waiting for me in his rocking chair, dark eyes fixed on me as I approach. Lifting a hand to him, I smile and slow Leo to a halt, praising the horse as I climb down, the gray stallion nosing affectionately at me. Swiftly, I tie him to a nearby post, only to stop when John calls out to me.

"Put him in the stable for the night." He instructs me, gesturing for me to follow him as I try to fight back the sudden onslaught of racing thoughts at his implications: he wants me to stay the night?

"Sure, thanks." I smile back at him, walking after him with Leo in tow.

"Don't worry about it. It's not fair on him if he has to stay out all night." John waves me off with a short grin, "How'd training go?"

I groan.

"Not great. That horse has it in for me, I swear." I complain, rubbing at my arm, remembering the moment I got the new bruise forming there.

"Oh yeah?" He muses, looking amused.

"Yeah. She threw me off eight times!"

"Eight times? Wow, must be a new record." The veteran jokes, something that stirs up the familiar fondness inside me at his more personable behaviour.

"I reckon so. Painful one to set, though, I'll tell you." I remark, smiling broadly as we enter the stable, where I quickly house Leo next to Bandit, removing his tack and other gear.

"Must be." John watches me work, leaning against the door to the large building, muscular arms crossed over an equally muscular chest. Turning back to him, I have to stop and admire the bulging of his biceps as his hands grip his forearms, the veins I've come to love laying out a pattern on the tanned limbs. Everytime I see them, I imagine his strong arms wrapped around me, holding me safe and secure against his solid body, wishing I could feel his hands splayed against me more often.

"Like what you see?" John interrupts my thoughts, voice teasing as he lifts an eyebrow at me, almost smirking at me.

Blushing furiously, I avert my gaze, lifting a hand to gently tap the brim of my Stetson out of my vision.

"You know I do." I laugh nervously, before I look back up at him, "Anyway, since when do you use pickup lines?"

"Since I figured out they get you all flustered." His playful tone is new to me, though it's gone almost as soon as I see it, his guarded expression falling back into place as he returns within himself, probably thinking he overstepped some invisible boundary.

I still can't help stammering for a response, his gruff tone awakening something within me.

"Heh, I guess you're right." I stutter, going over to him.

Nodding, he keeps his expression straight, leading me out back to the house, where he quickly welcomes me inside.

"I tried to tidy it as much as possible, but it's still a bit messy." The veteran apologises, observing the interior of his home critically, even as I do so in awe.

The rooms, from what I can see, are mostly filled with sparse furniture, a few chairs here and there, an old sofa, a couple of vanities and dressers, with a mantlepiece in most, if not all, of them. He hasn't used much colour, but what he has used is tasteful and works well with the overall appearance. The walls, however, are what really draw me into the place.

They are littered with photographs and memorabilia, frames and objects cleaned and polished so they shine brightly in the afternoon sun, many smiling faces visible in them. Curious, I go over to one wall, looking over the array of pictures, which I now recognise to be images of John and his friends from the years he spent here. Amongst them is a creased black and white photo of a young John sat astride a horse not unlike Bandit, a broad grin on the boy's face as he stares at the camera from under a mop of thick black hair. I can feel a small smile creep onto my face at the sight of the veteran looking so happy and carefree, something I've not seen very much of at all in my time around him.

"That was my first horse, Hector. I had him until I left for the army." John says from behind me, sounding somewhat quiet, eyes softened from nostalgia as he stares at the picture along with me, "I loved him a lot, but my father always said he wasn't good enough."

His words hang in the air as I stay speechless, listening intently to what he's saying to me: it's the first I'm hearing about his life before he came here again.

"What happened to him? Hector, I mean." I ask him quietly, tearing my eyes away to look up at John.

The veteran shrugs, appearing somewhat remorseful.

"I'll never know, but I reckon my father sold him as soon as I was gone."

"Oh." I frown, glancing back at the photograph.

"The horse was getting old by that time, though. He probably wasn't much use." John chuckles wryly, moving away towards the stairs nearby, "Do you want to see upstairs?"

"Yeah, sure." I nod, following him as he ascends to the second floor, which I now see consists of three different rooms.

He takes me to the farthest, opening the door to reveal an old study, which looks as if it hasn't been used in a good few years.

"This was my father's study, where he did all his business. I was never allowed in here as a kid." John sweeps his arm around the room, staying by the threshold, as if abiding by a rule that no longer exists, "Not that I go in here that much as an adult."

I look around, finding the neat area interesting: images of a young John hovering by the door, waiting for his father to finish business entering my head.

"It's nice, I like it." I remark, turning to find him smiling very slightly at me.

"It's the only room in the house that's exactly as it used to be. I haven't had time to do up the others properly." John says, leaving the study and going back down the hall, where he opens the other two doors to reveal a bathroom and an empty room.

A dull curiosity flares up within me as I realise one thing about the top floor, but I easily find a solution to it, following John back down the stairs. As we go, however, I realise that my assumption is wrong, as the only other rooms down here are missing the one thing I'd expect in any house.

"Where do you sleep? I haven't seen a bed or anything anywhere." I ask him, cocking my head to the side as he takes me to one final door.

"I'm gonna show you." He smiles at me, before he opens the door.

I blink as I see the dark steps descending into the ground, unease biting at my throat as I flash John a hesitant look. A cool draft wafts up from the black depth, but John only chuckles and moves down into the space below, gesturing for me to follow.

"It's perfectly safe, don't worry." He calls to me, a light flickering on as he reaches the bottom of the steps, illuminating the path to me.

Swallowing, I gingerly step down the stairs, emerging into a tunnel of sorts, my curiosity piqued as I take in the chiselled walls around me, the rock cast in an odd light from the naked bulbs positioned along the length of the cavern. Struts of wood hold the ceiling steady, wiring hanging off of them in places where he's had to hastily put it all together. John watches as I take in the passage, a thoughtful look in place on his face.

"What is this place?" I wonder aloud, still taken aback by the oddity of having a tunnel beneath the house that stretches off in both directions.

"This is my safe space." The veteran informs me, urging me along with him as we go further into the tunnel, walking together for a minute before we emerge out into a larger room of sorts, which is well lit. 

My eyes widen as I realise exactly what he means.

The room acts as his bedroom and bathroom, and also has space to sit and relax, the whole area having a homely feel to it. What was missing in the rooms in the house can be found down here, including more photographs, though these ones seem different to the others. They adorn the walls, all except one, which is decorated with a variety of weapons, both guns and knives. Going over to it, I look over the rifles and shotguns hooked onto the wall, struck speechless as I then turn my attention to a machete, the blade honed but chipped from use, seemingly out of place as it hangs beside another, smaller hunting knife. 

Moving on, I regard the photographs, only now realising that they're military pictures, many of them containing images of a youthful John in fatigues and uniform. A smile creeps back onto my lips as I feel my eyes land on a particular image of a group of men, where I can see John standing amongst them, a triumphant grin on his face, long locks of dark hair held back by a strip of fabric around his head. The others also smile, though there's something bittersweet about the inscription at the corner of the photo: Baker Team, Vietnam. As I look past the other pictures, I notice that the team slowly dwindles, beaming faces becoming drawn and solemn, eventually just leaving two people behind. Beneath this image is another inscription: Baker Team Survivors.

"That was my team in 'Nam." John says suddenly, voice husky as he remembers the friends he had, "None of them made it back. Not really."

Eyes wide, I look back at him, taking in the distant look in his own eyes, the barely concealed grief still raw in his expression as he stares at the photographs. Noticing my gaze, John gestures for me to come sit on the edge of his bed with him, the veteran pulling another photograph from it's place on his bedside table. Doing so, I make sure I'm not touching him, but am close enough to reassure him, waiting patiently for him to start talking of his own accord, knowing that this is a sensitive subject for him.

After a moment, he starts, his voice low as he pulls me into his stories, taking me through suffocating jungles and blistering heats, through recon and rescue missions, through bloody gunfights and hellfire,  through hours spent in torturous situations. He puts me in his shoes as he loses every single member of his team to the gruesome fight he should never have fought, the harrowing grief and pain of letting go of a comrade, someone who's supposed to be by your side for as long as the two of you can stay alive, laid bare for me to see and experience. And even as he moves on, back to familiar territory in the States, the fight never leaves him.

Facing harassment in what should be his safety and security, I can feel every bit of betrayal, of anger and grief that he felt as he is let down by his own country time after time, used again and again by the authorities to do their dirty work, only to be cast aside when it doesn't go their way, the old catchphrase he once lived by, "I've got your back, you've got mine" completely meaningless in this hollow life. His disgust in humanity is plain to me as he outlines his most recent forays into warfare, where the rage he felt is once again transferred to me, and I experience the violent need to take out the parasites in the world that destroy anything good that he did. It's as if I'm there with him, through everything, his description and memories so vivid they chill me to the core, keeping me hooked on his every word.

After a long while, he eventually trails off, and I realise there's a tear rolling down his cheek, his body shaking a little as he holds himself back. My heart breaking, I have to fight the urge to reach out and pull him into an embrace, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. I place my hand on his shoulder instead, rubbing the tight muscles soothingly until he looks up at me with the most heart-rending gaze I've ever seen in my life. At that point, my resolve breaks.

Carefully, I lean in and wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling the veteran towards me. He goes willingly, sobs wracking his body as he wraps his own hands around me, burying his face into my neck, tears flowing freely now as he lets himself go, each pained sound agonising to hear. Tightening my grip, I lay back onto the bed, allowing him to press his body around me, holding me against his muscular form as I rub his back, whispering soothing things to him as his breathing starts to calm a little. It takes time, but eventually he starts to relax, body going limp as he lays in my arms, his larger form awkwardly wrapped around mine as he depresses his face into the crook of my neck.

I barely hear his broken voice as he whispers to me.

"Thank you." 

Breathing in his familiar scent, I just mould myself closer, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead as he does the same to my neck.

"I'm here for you, John. I'm here, and I'll never leave. Not as long as I live, I promise."

#rambo x reader #rambo imagine #rambo #rambo 5 #rambo last blood #rambo 4 #sylvester Stallone #John Rambo x reader #John Rambo imagine #John Rambo

[freunwol]

you got some uhhhhhhhh ssau concept arts?

GHFLGJHDSFGLJH UH UM WELL a good amount of it is at home where i am not but i will be this weekend!!! and im sure so much is lost in old notebooks n papers n shit too... i was not good at committing stuff to a model sheet or anything similar. im still not!

case in point: this mess from this morning

(the first time i put this in the post there was a gigantic spoiler right below her feet lmfao)

im still kinda figuring out what i want but i wanna lean into like... a round gothic ouji cowboy look for lucid which is a wonderful phrase! u can sorta see it in that doodle to the side but i decided to opt for suspenders instead of a vest, it feels better. the huge sleeves are part of the button up though. whether they stay open n flare out or i go for the poofy look im considering is up in the air lol. the cowboy hat isnt though that stays

(also on the side, eun posing. hes so shapes)

the ages/timeline are all kinda mixed around (cuz like wm and freud are here but so is the resistance & neinheart and all. dw abt it) and i wanna make lucid younger than i had her in the first iteration of ssau. so maybe a little older than she was in her lachelein flashbacks, so like...... [the elven equivalent of] 14? they might be like half elves and age like humans til theyre adults but can you fucking imagine being a preteen for 30 goddamn years omg

u can see tentative shape notes on the side, also i did in fact forget that magnus exists and that i should include him somehow. hhhhh

as for older concept art... theres more than i thought!!

i realized a lot of it was in ipad doodles along with old computer files, which for a second i thought i deleted but i DIDNT theyre SAFE

p sure i posted this. the one on the left was basically his design concept tho lmfao... i dont think there was anything in particular i was going for aside from edgy and some black wings elements, and it never really strayed from that

not really anything to write home about (aside from mercs design looking NOTHING like that by the end omg) but look at that fucking tapestry

i also posted top left (i still think it looks kinda alright!!) im not sure what i was doing w the thing covering his whole arm but. hey

me too aran. me too. and a very brief glimpse at who i think is merc? my full design for her n aran are at home but there she is. i remember liking how they turned out, arans story has changed DRAMATICALLY but i can prolly keep a lot of elements lmao.. not too sure whats happening w her hair here though

i think this was actually her first iteration though. i took a lot of elements from the time guardians from tot (which i think was very smart and cool of me)... i used to do a lot of designs like this. how i actually remembered anything like this? answer: i didnt

fairly sure this is what i sent someone as a ref sheet for a commission. which is def serviceable but like lmfao. i honestly dont think ill change much aside from the headband and making the collar more distinctive? maybe make the shirt itself a lil more interesting, but honestly keeping it kinda plain may be best practice

theres other doodles but i wouldnt really call them concept art...or theyre otherwise spoilery. when i get home n can take pics of the other art i can find ill post em!!

im... honestly still really surprised and happy that ppl are still interested in ssau, it does mean a lot. ive had this au for, what, 6 years? ive always wanted to do this justice and i think now im really able to

#listening to lagtrain on repeat #its a good song!! #and yes there is an ingo doodle on the top with the worlds jankiest hand dw abt it #ssau #i can break this tag out again lets gooo

[kendrixtermina]

Things I admire about other enneagram types (from a 5 perspective)

6: You have this switch you can throw where you can just act confident in dire situations. I know from what you tell me it feels awful on the inside but it’s still useful. I can’t do that unless I’m actually confident about something. Some of you also have excellent BS detectors & think of checking things that wouldn’t occur to me. ive learned so much from you guys im jully that your ideas are so much more practical on average

3: You somehow bring the joys of practical problem solving approach into the social/interpersonal realm & somehow solve things that I wouldn’t consider solveable. There’s something rly valuable to being ‘a positive realist’.

8: How are you so concise? You’re so good at saying things in a clear, impactful manner! (compared to us rambly head types at least)

It’s a somewhat rare type & I don’t know many people, so I don’t know anyone IRL in depht, but at least for the more self-aware examples, many that I’ve seen in internet videos etc. also strike me as pretty likeable, especially in that straightforwardness & the way they admit to their stuff and like... actually say things out loud that’s just instantly interesting. 

1: Some 1s are not chill, but the ones that are are very chill indeed. Very impressive. The cool & unique thing about your way of thinking is how you’re objective but positivistic (without an overly positive focus) - my way of thinking is more negativistic, I see holes, things that are not there etc. novel visions happen but it’s hard to synthethize them on purpose. You guys tho? You see what IS there & concrete visions for what can be done to fix stuff. 

Something that I find fascinating is how we’re both running optimization algorithms but yours is maximizing (looking for the most results for a fixed expense)  while mine is minimizing. (looking to get a fixed results with least uneccesary variables)

7: So many cool ideas! Actually way more competent & dilligent than ppl assume especially if older & wiser. Ppl underappreciate how much this is very much a mental type. Please, do keep talking interesting stuff to me im listening * big shiny owl eyes *

 Also have the advantage of usually having tons of other friends to have fun with when I don’t feel like extroverting right now so i dont feel so bad if i cant make it all the time. 

9: Maybe you think ppl don’t want to hear about your vast imagination but I for once think it’s super cool. No pressure to share though, not making a big deal about it just makes you mysterious. When you do tell me your thoughts, i can rest assured in the knowledge that im a special level 10 friend. ^-^

Also you can be so likeable & funny & ppl really listen to you? Like I’ve noticed myself that sometimes I’d be all angry & worked up into some complicated idea about why I’m right and the other person is terrible,  and then this 9 dude who’d just been listening on the sidelines so far would say something super disarming that just cut through all my BS rationalisations, and soon after there was just no more argument & I really changed my actions long-term??  

4: Ppl don’t sufficiently appreciate how badass you can be, esp when you know what you want

Over the years I had several 4 friends who were just, like, me but cooler, if I had the energy & comitment for this sort of consummate defiance against The Machine every day. One had picked up some old mannequins & made a decoration for her room out of it & that was such a power move? & she knew all these obscure art films... I wish I’d stayed in touch with them more.  

2: i would prolly write more here if i knew more 2s in-depht; Even so I must commend how you notice & remember so much stuff about ppl? 

For all that I think that conventions like social obligations gifts & holidays are often forced BS, I’m impressed with how much love you can put into that. It doesn’t feel like BS coming from you. 

5: Now I don’t know that many in-depht, but from my own, possibly biased PoV I’ve perceived the few other ones I’ve actually got to know as refreshingly uncomplicated & accepting (even if they seem picky at first), but also way more passionate than you’d think on first glance. You should see them in their element, if you have the opportunity. The sorts of ppl whose eyes sparkle for the beauty in forgotten places. 

IDK if others would also describe me this way as well. One does try. 

#enneagram #typology

[hanjisungz-remade]

penny for your thoughts? ☽ changbin

✦ genre: harry potter au, fluff, slow burn ✦ description: perhaps staying behind for christmas break would be good. you could get a lot of studying in for OWLs and since you were alone, you wouldn’t get distracted... except you weren’t alone ✦ pairings: seo changbin x reader ✦ word count: 28.2k ✦ warnings: mild language, tooth rotting fluff (seriously.... its a lot) ✦ a/n: ive had this idea for so long (nearly 4 years) and im so excited to finally write it! merry christmas and happy holidays in general to you all that celebrate, i hope you eat well and rest well and enjoy 💓 

i.

“Did you hear about the accident in Potions class today?” Jisung spoke quickly, elbow locked with your own as you tried to avoid being separated in the large crowd of students. Somehow he was always able to get the most gossip out of students and continue to stay at the top of your class. 

“No, I’ve been busy focusing on OWLs. I would tell you that you should study too but I know you’ll ace them all.” You nudged him, almost pushing him into a very annoyed looking Slytherin. 

“Hey! I’ve done my fair share of studying as well.” Jisung pouted but shook his head, focusing on shuffling his feet and recounting his story. “Okay so the accident. It was fucking hilarious, first of all. Secondly, I heard this first-year couldn’t tell the difference between fluxweed and knotgrass when they tried to make Polyjuice and they blew up the whole cauldron, like boom!” He made an explosion motion with his hands.

“To be fair you’re quite the handful in Potions as well, and that's coming from your partner.” You thought back to Jisung burning his eyebrows off in third-year after incorrectly mixing ingredients among the many other things you’ve had to endure the past years.

“I will have you know, I am the best partner ever. You get better marks because you fix my mistakes!” Jisung was about to go on but he suddenly lifted his head, a soft, “woah” coming out as you both entered the Great Hall.

Lights were just being hung up as everyone walked into the Great Hall. Professors flicked their wands and spun the strings together to turn the admittedly boring beige walls into a disco-like party of reds and greens.

The tables, which had normally been decorated quite plainly, were now filled with anything and everything Christmas-like. Small trees sat at the head of each table and at the front table where the teachers sat. The goblets shined with a dark red glow, and the cloths protecting the wood from careless students were dyed a light green and shined with sparkles of glitter. Every year they seemed to do something different, whether it be the color of lights on the tree, the decorations around the house banners hung on the walls or the jeweled arrangement on the cups.

You made your way to the Ravenclaw table quietly, smiling at your other friend Luna as you sat down next to her. Before you could say anything, everyone cheered at the sight of the food being served. To be fair, you were very hungry, and you almost joined in on the loud hollers and claps, mostly coming from the Gryffindor table.

As plates of food floated down the long tables you listened to everyone talking. At the table next yours the Hufflepuffs quietly munched on their food, no words being exchanged except for the occasional student squealing and cursing from another playing a trick on them. From that table you made eye contact with your friend Seungmin, raising your eyebrows and laughing when he held up a Potions book and mouthed “kill me” to you. 

Behind you the Slytherins sat quietly, some of them laughing at one of the other houses while others had their heads in their books. You never fully understood the motivations of Slytherins. They loved to be top of the class yet they always felt as if there was something else higher to achieve. Though you couldn’t find them too weird, you were the top of the class and you still wanted to go higher, still wanted to prove yourself. 

You always wondered if you should have been placed in Slytherin, but no one ever dared question the Sorting Hat. That, and you heard a rumor that the Hat took your own feelings into account, and you knew you were always more drawn to Ravenclaw.

On the opposite wall there was a loud murmuring, the Gryffindor’s heads clacking together and you could only assume they were talking about something interesting with your they all seemed to push together into the middle of the long table. How they could relay a message down the whole table made no sense to you, it all sounded like an impossible game of ‘Telephone’, yet with the nodding of heads it looked as if they got their message across.

“Think they’re having another dick measuring contest?” Jisung whispered in your ear as you both began filling up your plates. Of course he had to overload his, but you knew he would end up eating it all.

“I think they wait to go back to the Common Room to do that.” You stated simply, shoveling as much turkey as you thought you could eat onto your large plate. It always turned out that your eyes were bigger than your stomach, but much like Jisung, you were determined to finish.

To your other side Luna leaned towards you, one hand on a fork and the other holding a book open. “Have you guys finished the Herbology study book yet?” Her voice was soft and barely above a whisper.

OWLs started two weeks after Christmas break and to say you were completely not ready was an understatement. You had studied day and night since the beginning of the year, getting as many books from the library that you could. Learning was fun and while you were quite good at it, the thought of failing was always a fear of yours. With the deadline rapidly approaching, so was your heart rate. 

“I skimmed through it but I feel like it would be better to have more hands-on experience.” Jisung shrugged, stuffing his cheeks with turkey and vegetables from the floating plates passing by even though he had a near full plate sitting in front of him.

“Smarty pants.” You looked at Jisung, sticking your tongue out at him. “I’ve been really busy with Potions so I haven’t started yet. How about you?” 

“I haven’t even started either. I’ve been trying to memorize these spells for Charms but I can never find the time to practice them.” Luna launched forward, nose fitting perfectly in the middle of the textbook, a loud sigh escaping her.

“Well, we can study together more often if you want?” You offered, watching Luna lift her head up quickly. You feared for her neck when she did that. 

The three of you would study together in a small group, sometimes recruiting other people and friends from other houses, but with the ‘big tests’ coming up, maybe studying together more often could help more than hurt. Although you did like studying alone more, it was definitely more beneficial to study in a group. It also offered as an occasional distraction when the stress got to be too high.

“Oh my god really? That sounds awesome. You’re the best.” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes while her hands rested in her lap. Through the years of knowing her and being her roommate for one of them, you knew Luna would occasionally meditate to ground herself. She was quite the quirky person, as most Ravenclaws were, but Luna took it to the next level. It wasn’t a bad thing, in fact it made her infinitely more interesting to talk to. 

Her hair was what first drew you to her, it was a coral blue, but when she turned around for the first time you saw glimpses of reds and purples. When you asked her, she said it was an invention her father came up with, color changing hair dye. At that point you knew you had to be her friend.

A comfortable silence fell over the three of you as you continued to eat. Luckily you had friends that felt like silence was as good of communication as talking was. Well, Jisung was quite the jabberjaw, but he always knew when to stop and when to let the room descend into quiet.

If only the rest of the room could have stayed quiet.

Two tables down a loud crash caught everyone's attention. The silence you had wished for just a second ago granted to you. Your eyes fell on a wide eyed boy, his pink hair weighed down from liquid that had been poured on him. By whom? Like everyone else you looked next to him to see another wide eyed boy, this one with dark hair and seemingly older yet you weren’t quite sure.

“Oh shit.” The black haired one said, his wand quickly being tucked back into his red and black robe but it was definitely too late for trying to conceal anything with hundreds of eyes locked onto them. 

Behind the boys came Professor McGonagall, the Head of the Gryffindors, although it was less of a walking over and more of an appearance from thin air. Her glasses rested on the tip of her nose as she looked down at the two cowering boys in front of her.

“Mr. Bang, what is it do you think you’re doing?” Neither of the two turned around, their eyes closed and noses scrunched. Eventually the older looking one turned around, his hands lightly trembling. If Gryffindors had anything to be afraid of, it was Potions class and McGonagall.

“I’m so sorry Professor. I was just practicing my Wingardium Leviosa spell for OWLs.” He reached next to him and patted the pink boy’s head, shooting him an apologetic look when the younger scowled at him. “I tried to levitate my goblet but I must have gotten distracted and it fell.”

You felt Jisung lean towards you, “I call bullshit, the water would have flown everywhere, why just on that poor boy’s head?” Of course Jisung would be the one to use the logical part of his brain to call someone out. 

“You’re definitely a Ravenclaw, aren't you?” You chuckled, nodding at his statement. “As much as I hate to say it, you're right. It was obviously a prank or something.”

“And Mr. Yang,” McGonagall directed her attention to the pink haired boy. One of her hands rested on her hip, “you’re obviously not studying for OWLs, how did you get into this predicament?”

The two boys looked between each other then back at McGonagall. The older one, Mr. Bang, nudged the other with his elbow. At this point they both looked around and noticed the silence in the room, only causing their already pink faces to go full on cherry red.

“Uhh.” The younger one hesitated with his answer. Small droplets of water dripped from the tips of his pink hair. It wasn’t a bright pink, more of a faded bubblegum pink. Whether it was the aftermath of a spell or he chose to do that you weren’t sure but he looked cute. “I was just sitting next to Chan while he was practicing. I’m sorry.”

She nodded before pulling out her wand. With a flick of her wrist and an inaudible mumble of what could only be assumed as a spell, his pink hair flew up, strands flying everywhere before eventually settling back down. Everyone in the Great Hall gasped as they saw his hair was completely dry now. Even the recipient of the spell was surprised, his eyes crossed as he tried to take a look at the hair covering his forehead, mouth gaping open.

“Woah.” The other one, Chan, you could assume, inhaled and lifted his hand up to touch the other’s hair. “How did you do that?” He looked towards McGonagall, all fear and embarrassment gone in favor of wanting to know the spell.

“Maybe I’ll let you know when you pass your OWLs. For now, minus 20 points to Gryffindor.” Her voice conveyed disappointment as she turned around and seemed to glide back up to the big table at the front of the room. 

Once she finished talking a murmur fell among the students. Each table went back to their own devices, studying, eating and gossiping as usual. You continued to eat, your plate slowly dissipating into empty as you listened to the noise around you. Although you couldn’t hear any specific conversation you were content in the atmosphere around you. Noise wasn't always the worst, but more often than not it felt like a million bee buzzing in your head so you tended to lean towards the silent route.

“Oh my god.” As if snapping you out of your thoughts, Jisung nudged you accidentally, pushing his plate away and patting his stomach through his robe. “That was so good I can feel my brain waves flowing.”

“You know sometimes I just have no idea what the fuck you’re saying.” You eyed him, pushing your plate away as well and shaking your head. If you were given a dollar for every time Jisung said something weird you would have been a billionaire in first-year. 

“You don't know how many people have said that to me.” Jisung laughed, the same loud laugh that he always does. A lot of people would make fun of him for having such an animated laugh, yet you never found it annoying. It was like sneezing, when Jisung would laugh you would start to laugh as well. Once he finished laughing, he leaned his head on one of his hands, “anyways, do you have any plans for break?”

“I think I’m gonna stay here, I already told my parents I wanted to study for OWLs and not be distracted.” You paused when you saw students start to get up, signaling it was time for class. “Besides, our family wasn’t one for holidays so I would rather stay here and do something productive instead of just lay around for three weeks.”

Both of you stood up, following the students as they started meandering and finding their way towards their classes. Luckily you shared the first class with Jisung so you just followed him through the crowd, hand clutching a bundle of his robe so you didn't lose him.

The walk to class wasn’t long, and as you two sat down you both took out your books and quills, getting ready for another grueling day of mixing and hoping you don't blow that part of the castle off. Class hadn’t started yet but Jisung looked around at the other students, checking to make sure no one was listening in before leaning closer to you.

“I heard another student is also staying for break, some Hufflepuff.” Jisung said quietly, messing with the vials of liquids out in front of him.

“First of all,” You smacked his hand away from the ingredients for the day’s potion, “don’t fuck with the ingredients, you don't want to end up like that first-year.” Jisung pouted but let you continue, his hands now resting on his book. “Second of all, I’m focusing on my studying, hopefully they stay away and in their own space.”

You knew you sounded harsh, but you also knew that OWLs were the most important exams and you needed to pass them, though preferably not just pass but get high marks. Obviously if you ran into this Hufflepuff you would be polite, but ultimately that was your time to study. Besides, you didn't even know who this other person was. Maybe they were an asshole, then it would be infinitely easier to ignore them.

“I heard he was also a fifth-year. He.” Jisung emphasized it again, elbowing you into the side. “You guys could study together.” When he raised his eyebrows and wiggled in his seat you resorted to pushing Jisung over, laughing but also shooting him an evil eye. “You know when you do that look you just look like a puppy. Totally not intimidated at all.”

“I could push you over again.” You threatened, watching as more people started to file in before class started. “And I definitely do not want you to be my wingman again, I still have nightmares of last time.” Shuddering, you pushed the memory of the Yule Ball to the back of your head.

Jisung looked like he was going to combat your blow to his ability to wingman but before he could, Professor Slughorn strode through the door. All the students fell silent at his entrance, hands folded in front of their books, eyes scanning the liquids and cauldron in front of them.

As you listened to Slughorn drone on, picking up vials and mixing them into the cauldron, you felt a finger poke your elbow. Looking down you saw a piece of paper sitting between you and Jisung. When you looked up at him he was focusing on the front of the room but his mouth was quirked into a smirk that you knew meant that was a note from him. You grabbed it, opening it quickly and trying to read the messy scribbles from Jisung’s quill. When you finally did read it you shook your head, elbowing your best friend, crumbling the paper and putting it in your robe pocket.

“You never know what might happen ;)” - Your favorite wingman.

ii.

“I can’t believe we leave tomorrow.” Jisung’s cheek was pressed against the Herbology book, the page sticking to his skin. The steam from his hot chocolate floated into the air of the library. The pages beneath his face had some important text on whatever plant you were just learning about (if you're honest, you barely remember the name of the damn flower).

“You’ll be okay, Sung.” You reached across the table and patted his head. His hair was soft as always. When you first met him you were sure he used some sort of magic shampoo and conditioner or found a spell to make his hair that smooth but after being friends for 5 years you learned it was just ‘great genes’ as he had put it.

“It’s only for three weeks. Besides we can send each other letters.” Luna rested her hand over yours.

The three of you had been studying for nearly four hours. Having the day off was both a blessing and a curse, no classes but more time to cram studying in. The library was packed with students, all of the seats and window sills filled with bodies and books. Despite having so many students in one space it was quiet, no one wanting to upset the librarian fairies that flew through the bookcases and sought out anyone not following the rules.

“But it’s not the same.” Jisung drew out the last syllable. “I want to annoy you guys in real life not just letters.”

“Trust me you’ll find a way.” A chuckle escaped you when Jisung rolled his eyes, lifting his head and a pout prominent on his face. 

“I guess it’ll be okay.” He looked down at the textbook, fingers quickly skimming over the page before he looked up, an alarming smile on his face. “Oh! Speaking of break,” He leaned closer to you. “I know who is staying here with you.” Jisung winked at you and if you didn’t know that the fairies would kick you out of the library you would have reached around and smacked him in the back of the head.

There was a moment of silence as Jisung waited for you to ask him who it was, and you desperately tried to hold back. You set your mouth in a thin line and shook your head. Yet, your curiosity dug through your brain and got caught in your throat. You knew if you opened your mouth those words would slip through. 

So you did.

“Who is it?” You sighed, waiting for the answer. Truthfully, there wasn't anyone that you didn't want it to be but the answer still shocked you.

“Seo Changbin! The Herbology nerd.” Jisung nearly shouted, and it took you and Luna to tell him to quiet down.

You had known about Seo Changbin, seen him around the castle and in the library and although you didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he was a Hufflepuff and really good with plants, you did know that he was damn cute.

“Ooh! He’s cute!” Luna squealed, mirroring your thoughts. She bounced in her seat and patted you on the arm. “You guys should study together!”

As much as you would like to entertain that idea, you knew you would have to focus on studying alone. Sure, you could study with Luna and Jisung but that was different, they knew what methods worked and what didn’t. Their humor fit yours and having someone else come in, someone incredibly attractive and cute, would be infinitely more distracting than Jisung’s dick jokes and Luna’s tangents.

“I would rather stay in the solitude of our Common Room.” You noticed the frowns on their faces, so you decided to entertain them and hopefully get them off your back. “But, you never know what could happen, maybe he could help me with my Herbology troubles.”

“You can’t study Herbology without us!” Jisung pouted again, looking down at the book and looking back up at you. You found his pouting funny so you nodded, chuckling when he firmly nodded his head back. “Good. Now let’s please get at least this chapter done before my brain melts.”

iii.

It wasn’t long until you were sitting with Jisung and Luna for the last breakfast before everyone left for break. It was eerily quiet in the whole room, but you didn’t mind it, instead you just ate in silence, enjoying the presence of your friends around you before you couldn’t see them for three weeks.

You smiled when students from other houses were allowed to sit together and you found Seungmin walking over from the Hufflepuff table. He took the empty seat next to Luna, but not before nearly tripping and spilling all his food over the dark blue tablecloths that represented your house.

“Careful dude, I am not sitting next to you if you reek like eggs.” Jisung said with a full mouth, a laugh nearly sending his breakfast flying.

“You’re telling me to be careful yet you're the one talking with a mouth full of food.” Seungmin’s eyebrows raised. Jisung looked like he was going to argue back but decided against it. As soft as Seungmin looked, he was not afraid to stand up for himself (or anyone else, for that matter.) 

“Both of you should be careful. If one of you spills on me and I have to take another shower I’m sending you a howler for Christmas.” You threatened, looking up at them through your lashes as you ate all you could.

Jisung stood up, arms raised in surrender and it took you yanking on his robe sleeve for him to sit down. “Okay,” He said a little too loudly, causing a few Slytherins to shoot you looks. “I surrender to you, your majesty.” You smacked his arm but laughed along with everyone else.

You stopped laughing before the rest of your friends did so you looked around at them, letting out a breath you didn’t know you had held onto. It was nice to laugh as loud as you wanted to and feel just that little bit of relief from stress before you were left alone to study until your brain turned to mush. 

For the past few weeks you had convinced yourself you would be okay alone and that was definitely true to some extent, you loved to be alone and be left to study or read or learn new spells that might come in handy. You had even taken to learning the hair drying spell McGonagall used and that cut getting ready in half. As much as you loved to be alone you knew that you would have to distract yourself somewhat to not think about your friends and how much you would be missing them.

If anything, you knew you could sneak into Hogsmeade or take a stroll up to the Astronomy Tower or the Owlery and send a letter to your friends but you knew that a part of you would still miss them.

Your thoughts were cut off by Jisung tapping you on the head, his face coming into view as you spaced out looking at one of the illuminated lanterns on the wall above the Gryffindor table.

“Hello? Earth to Y/N? Anyone in there?” When you looked down you realized your friends were all staring at you. Jisung’s finger was still tapping on your head and you shook him off.

“Of course I’m here, just thinking about my schedule of studying.” It wasn’t a lie, you had made a calendar of subjects you would study every day with breaks to spend in the Astronomy Tower to calm you down.

“You’re gonna miss us aren’t you?” Luna asked, chewing on the rest of her food before snapping and watching as it disappeared to the dishwasher. She was always the straightforward one of the group, and that was saying something because mister honesty sat directly next to you.

“I’m definitely going to miss you Luna.” You nodded then gestured towards Seungmin and Jisung. “These two, though, I’m glad I’m gonna get some peace and quiet.”

“Hey!” They both said simultaneously.

“You know I’m kidding. Of course I'll miss you all like fucking crazy but like you said, we can send letters and I am happy I get extra time to study for OWLs.” You knew it was stupid to lie to them so you told the truth.

Everyone nodded before they went back to eating. It didn’t take long before everyone was finished, your plates gone and bellies full. After a long speech by the Headmaster students started getting up, some saying bye to friends and leaving and others just sitting and waiting for their ride to arrive.

“So,” Seungmin leaned forward on his elbows. “I heard that Changbin was also staying behind. He’s a sweet guy, always studying as well. He’s a few doors down from mine in the dorm and I hear him singing all the time. He’s damn good.” Jisung and Luna chuckled, wiggling their eyebrows at you.

“He sounds like a cool dude, maybe we could be friends after OWLs.” You held up your book. There was a moment of silence and you spoke up again. Before you could stop yourself your curiosity got the better of you. “Do you know why he’s staying back?” 

“No idea, sorry.” Seungmin said. He looked up front before jumping up and grabbing his suitcase in a haste. “Oh shit my ride is here, I gotta go. Bye guys, have fun!”

You three said your goodbyes to the back of Seungmin’s head, watching his yellow scarf fly in the wind as he squeezed past everyone, muttering “excuse me”s and “sorry”s to anyone he bumped into. As soon as he was gone you turned back to Luna and Jisung, eyeing them as they skimmed through their books. Everyone was cramming before leaving for home, having three weeks at home without the pressure of studying was a godsend to most but some preferred taking their books with them to study while at home.

Although they were Ravenclaws, Jisung and Luna definitely did not share that sentiment. They much preferred to abandon all notion of studying in favor of taking a break. “Studying is important but there was only so much you can do before your brain explodes.” Professor Flitwick had said one day when he met with all of your house.

“So,” Jisung started and you held your breath, knowing something was coming. “Just friends?” He smirked and before you could shoot him down he continued. “All I’m saying is learning and studying is important, I wouldn’t be a Ravenclaw if I didn’t think so, but it’s also important to have a little fun here and there. You’ll have a lot of time and I know you’re not just going to spend it studying or in the Astronomy Tower.”

Shooting him a look you shrugged, he was right and you knew it but you would be dipped in Hell before admitting it to the boy in front of you. There would definitely be a lot of down time considering it was just you in the whole castle (and Changbin but you chose to ignore that thought). 

“Chill out horndog.” Jisung chuckled at your attempt at an insult, patting you on the head. “If I did hang out with Changbin it definitely would be as just friends, no matter how cute he is.”

Jisung’s face moved and his mouth twisted, him mouthing a ‘I can't hear you’ which you knew wasn't true, Jisung acted like he wasn’t listening but his ears were as good as an owl’s. He heard anything and everything in a mile radius and could repeat it back to anyone in a heartbeat. So you were sure he heard you.

“Oh look!” Jisung jumped up, picking up his suitcase and cage with his owl Albert before looking back. “My ride’s here, hope you have fun with Mr. Dreamy Puff, you better spill all the juice when I get back.” 

“There will be no juice to spill but sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. Have fun!” You yelled after Jisung. He waved behind him, body weaving through everyone and you swore you saw him almost take out a group of first-years on his way to the front of the castle.

“He’s gonna bowl someone over one day.” Luna shook her head, looking back to you. There was a quick silence before she spoke again “I’m not gonna pester you about Changbin, just remember to have fun as well as study. You have the castle pretty much all to yourself, enjoy it.” 

You nodded, thankful you had Luna to not drive you completely insane like the two boys. After her statement you two sat in silence, occasionally chatting about Herbology or the latest Potions mishap. Around you students hurried to the front, the occasional pile up happening when a student tripped or knocked someone over.

Eventually you looked up from your book, foregoing studying for the moment and instead enjoying the noise and presence of everyone in the room. As time went on students filed out, the big suitcases and cages full of animals that lined the walls slowly dissipating until only a handful were left.

“My ride is here.” Luna quickly packed her book in her suitcase, zipping everything up and standing.

You pulled her into a hug, smelling the peppermint shampoo that changed scents based on the season (it was her favorite buy from Hogsmeade). The smell was pungent, like drinking butterbeer after chewing gum, but it was a smell that you knew you would miss. 

“Relax a little, okay? Don’t stress about OWLs until after you get back.” You joked with her, knowing she would have fun with her unconventional family.

“I could say the same for you.” Luna tightened her scarf around her neck, the tip of her nose already red from the cold air bellowing in from the doors. “I’ll send letters, Scarlett has no problem flying to the castle.” Her owl stirred in its cage, the white feathers standing out against the bronze bars.

“Of course, I’ll send letters too, though it’ll probably just be me ranting about how many potions we have to memorize and me worrying I'll burn my eyebrows off doing it wrong.” You both laughed. “Now go! I don’t want you to miss the ride to the train.”

“Okay, okay. I’m going!” Luna darted away, screaming a final, “goodbye!” before disappearing into the white snow.

“Bye!” You shouted even though you knew she couldn’t hear you.

There were only three other students in the Great Hall waiting for the last train home. The high windows cast a shadow on your side of the room, the sun going down and the light bending. You weren’t sure if Changbin was there, there were two boys sitting at the Hufflepuff table yet having not seen the Changbin’s face, you had no indication that he was anywhere to be seen.

It wasn’t like you were looking for him or anything.

After looking up and down the table you noticed you were the only Ravenclaw left, even the seventh-year prefect Woojin was gone, having been one of the last ones to leave and help the first-years to the train. It all looked so empty sitting there, so you decided to call it a night and start the three week break in the morning.

You didn’t bother looking at anyone as you walked past, fingers playing with the pages in your Charms book as you made your way to the Ravenclaw Common Room. 

Once you were inside, having solved the riddle lock many times before and answering immediately, you looked around and sighed. You decided not to think about how empty it was, instead focusing on walking up the stairs to your room. Although your bed was soft, you looked over and saw Luna’s empty one, a small pang echoing in your chest.

“I just need some sleep.” You muttered to no one but yourself. “I’ll feel better in the morning.” Turning over, you faced the window. The snow cascaded down so hard it almost looked like rain. It was calming, along with the mix of cold and warm from the fireplace in the Common Room.

You knew the first night alone would be hard but the particular lack of a human presence anywhere near you was the most difficult thing. At night if you couldn't sleep you would find yourself talking out loud and eventually Luna would respond to you. That time, however, she wasn’t there to respond.

The first night is the worst, you thought to yourself, twisting under the comforter and trying to find a comfortable position. Just get through the first night and you’ll be okay.

Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes, reviewing different charms and spells that you had learned through the week. It was a nice distraction, and you felt yourself drift off with the sound of the wind in the background.

iv.

The start of the third day you woke up with a massive headache.

The previous two days had been spent in the Common Room, a big blue and bronze quilt draped over your figure as you stayed curled up on one of the large couches. The fireplace remained warm and inviting and you found yourself content in reading about Transfiguration and the history of magic for the first two days.

Starting the third day with a pain almost as bad as hearing the screaming of a Mandrake was definitely not how you wanted it to start, but there you were.

“Oh, fuck.” Your hand stayed on your head as you sat up, temples thumping with a rush of blood. The light from your lamp burned as you opened your eyes, forcing you to squint. 

It’s not like you hadn’t gotten enough sleep, in fact, one could argue you got too much. There were often times you sat in the large chair, book in your lap, that you found yourself dozing off, time disappearing into dust in an hourglass. You were only focused on the words in front of you and the sense of dusk outside that forced you to trudge up the stairs and finally sleep in your bed.

The rumbling of your stomach made you stand up, slipping into your robe and fixing your bed head. The time on the clock indicating it was breakfast time so you slowly trudged down towards the Great Hall, the paintings whispering as you walked by. 

As soon as you walked through the large open doors you stopped in your tracks. The Great Hall had transformed. In the middle of the room was the giant Christmas tree, lights twinkling like stars and bulbs filled with full snow scenes glittering across the branches. At the very top stood a fairy, twirling on her toe like a ballerina.

On the edge of the room right next to the fireplaces were small tables, sets of chairs set up for anyone to rest in. All of the chairs were empty except one.

Seo Changbin. 

His back was to the door, not noticing you walked in. Wanting to stay out of his eyesight, you quickly shuffled to a table as far away as possible, wincing when you pulled the chair out and a loud noise echoed through the large room. When Changbin didn’t look back you let out a breath of relief.

Your plate appeared in front of you, with all the food the castle had to offer for breakfast. Again your stomach reminded you of exactly what you came there for. You ate in silence, the past two days of living on a small dinner you would sneak down to the Great Hall to get and the few snacks you hadn’t eaten from your last outing at Hogsmeade.

As you ate your eyes wandered, settling on the only other person in the room, and you were surprised to find his eyes staring back at you. Immediately you lowered your head, playing with the egg on your plate. All the food was nearly gone and after not eating much you found your stomach was definitely full.

You were about to wave your wand to send your plate to the dishwashers when the feeling you were being watched washed over you. Pausing, you assessed your options. You took the easy way out, looking up and coming face to face with none other than Seo Changbin.

You never had enough time to actually look at him, only recognizing his name from first-year when you were sorted into your houses and being called in some classes. Now that he was standing in front of you, you noticed how handsome he was.

He had two yellow and black scarves wrapped tightly around his neck, his robe held close to his body. His cheeks and nose were a soft rosy color, as if he had fallen asleep face first on a pillow. Dark hair framed his face, red highlights reflecting in the light of the candles. His eyes were bright despite their dark color, lips curled into a slight smile and you felt a warmth different from the warmth of the candles in the room.

“Hi.” His voice was light, barely leaving his lips in a wisp of condensation from his hot breath.

“Hi.” You responded, a smile making its way onto your face.

There was a moment of silence and you realized that Changbin’s hands were resting on the back of the chair in front of you, the sound of his nails tapping onto the wood the only noise. It echoed through the room loudly. Or you just thought it was loud, the silence heightening everything around you.

“Can I sit here?” Changbin asked, pointing to the chair across from you. When you nodded Changbin smiled wider, slowly pulling out his chair and sitting down. As opposed to almost all other Hufflepuffs you’ve known, he stayed silent upon looking back up at you. Normally you would feel uncomfortable under someone’s stare, but you found yourself entranced with the way his eyes shone in the candlelight.

“So,” you broke the silence, “I see you’re also staying here for break.” Great, just the state the obvious. You thought to yourself. Looking down you noticed your plate still there, quickly taking out your wand from your robe and mumbling the spell, watching as it disappeared from in front of you.

“Yea, yea I am.” Changbin paused for a moment, softly hitting his temple with his fist. “Oh shit, I forgot to introduce myself, you probably think I’m weird. My name’s Seo Changbin, Hufflepuff, fifth-year.” He stuck out his hand and you chuckled at his adorable expression, like he was mentally hitting himself.

“I’m Y/N, Ravenclaw, fifth-year as well.” You reached out, his hand was warm and fit well in your own. The handshake was done way too fast, you noticed, trying not to let a pout show itself. 

It was then that you realize you had quite literally rolled out of bed earlier, rubbing a hand over your face and smoothing down your hair with your other. “I just woke up, I probably look so bad right now.” You laughed.

“I think you look cute.” Changbin mumbled, shrugging his head and looking down at his hands. Before you could reply - quite possibly with a you too - he looked back up at you. “I just woke up as well, I was up all last night studying for OWLs and I was so hungry I figured I should probably have breakfast.” 

“Are you nervous for the exams?” You were intrigued about whether or not everyone else was as scared about OWLs as you and your friends were. Just from the tidbits Jisung heard around the castle, Gryffindors were leisurely studying, Slytherins were nowhere to be seen in the library, probably studying in their Common Room, and most Hufflepuffs were in their own little study groups, determined on studying almost as much as Ravenclaws were.

“I definitely am. I think most of us are, we all have one or two subjects we are the most scared for.” You nodded along to his words, watching the way his fingers tapped on the table. 

“What subjects are the hardest for you?” You asked.

“Charms for sure. This dumb thing,” he pulled out his wand from his robe, “refuses to listen to me sometimes.”

His wand was very pretty, you noted. Dark wood with specs of gold glittered throughout it. A lighter brown wood flashed from beneath his fingers and you saw a soft glow from the tip as he waved it around. When he put it back in his robe you trailed your eyes back up to his face, a lopsided grin stuck on it.

“How about you? Surely you don’t have anything you’re too worried about, you’re top of our class.” Changbin leaned forward, shoulders no longer slouched in an uncomfortable position. It surprised you that he knew who you were, yet a smile involuntary made its way onto your face. 

You shrugged, not wanting to admit that your worst subject was one that his house should be the best at. “I’m not top of the class.” When Changbin raised his eyebrows you chuckled. “Okay, okay, top five, but I’m not first!”  He raised his hands up in defeat, a louder laugh echoing from the both of you. From the top of the Christmas tree the fairy chuckled as well.

“You’re avoiding my question.” Changbin smirked, crossing his arms in a playful manner.

“You’re really observant.” At this point you weren’t avoiding his question because of embarrassment, it was actually quite fun to mess around with someone other than Jisung. 

“You do know I’m a Hufflepuff? There’s no way in hell I’m going to let you off the hook.” 

You sighed dramatically, throwing yourself onto the table and smiling at the table upon hearing Changbin’s laugh. Actually, it was more of a giggle than a laugh. But either way it was really cute and you were sure you wanted to hear it more often.

“Herbology.” You mumbled into the table. When a sound of confusion came from the boy across from you, you spoke up. “Herbology!”

There was silence, and when you looked up you almost had the wind knocked out of you. Changbin was smiling, an extremely big smile that made his eyes disappear and his nose scrunch up. You’re friends had told you he was cute but he blew past that statement. He was more than just cute, he was like ultra cute with a big side of extremely handsome.

You were too busy admiring Changbin that you missed what he said, your face heating up when you had to ask. “What?”

“I said,” He chuckled again, arms unfolding and resting back onto the table. “I’m quite good at Herbology, one of the top in the class, in fact.” Although he said that, it wasn’t in a bragging tone, more of a proud hint to his voice. “I can help you if you want?”

The reminder of the loneliness you would be going back to if you said no creeped into your mind. Paired with a small warmth that spread through you when Changbin smiled prompted you to nod. 

“Sure. I definitely need it.” You chuckled, completely forgetting about the deal you made with Jisung. 

Above you the fairy on the Christmas tree squealed. “Ah, young love!” She screamed, her shrill voice echoing through the large room and piercing your ears. As she said that you're whole body felt warm, but not the warmth that previously came and went. Looking at Changbin you found his face turned towards the floor, his cheeks dusted once again with pink and the corners of his lips pulled into a small smile.

“So what were you planning on doing today?” Changbin asked, the tint in his cheeks slowly fading. Perhaps you were letting your loneliness guide you, but you found yourself drawn into Changbin and his soft smile and pretty laugh. That or you had been slipped a love potion in your breakfast. Or Changbin was just that alluring. 

It was probably the last one.

“Just studying.” You shrugged, not having anything special except digging your face in a book. “That’s why I stayed here for break. That and the fact that all my relatives in one house together isn’t the best thing to go home to.” 

“I get it, family is complicated.” Changbin nodded. “Do you wanna maybe study together? You know that saying, two heads are better than one.”

“Yea, I think that would be leagues better than staying cooped up in my Common Room. I can only take so many taunts from the paintings outside for not coming out all day.” You rolled your eyes, reminded of the annoying voices that were seemingly like a loudspeaker in the Common Room. How their voices carried through the walls like that, you had no clue, but you wished that they had built the castle more soundproof.

“Oh don’t remind me.” Changbin groaned. “I get a lot of shit from our paintings as well. So annoying.”

“So do you want to go to the library?” You asked, getting up from your spot at the table. “Oh wait, I need to stop by my Common Room to get my scarf, it’s only going to get colder as the day goes on.” There were plenty of books in the library to study from, not needing your assigned textbooks just yet. You definitely didn’t, however, want to die from hypothermia. 

Changbin stood up as well, hand tousling the messy hair at the back of his head. “Do you wanna use my extra scarf?” His other hand played with the edges of the extra fabric around his neck. “I mean, as long as you don’t mind wearing another house’s colors.”

“Oh,” You said, surprised. “I don’t mind, but won’t you be cold?”

“I’ll be fine, it’s actually kinda hot in here so I was going to take it off anyways.” Changbin’s face was flushed, teeth pulling at his bottom lip. 

“Okay then, thank you.” You smiled, watching him quickly unravel the yellow fabric and hold it out for you. When you grabbed it you noticed how warm it was, like it had been sitting in front of a heater for an hour. You didn’t mind though, wrapping it around your neck and nearly nuzzling into it. There was a delicate smell to it, like laundry soap that had just started to fade and you wondered if this is how Changbin smelled in general.

Stop it, you thought to yourself, just friends. Focus on OWLs. Your fingers played with the edge of the scarf. It was then that you noticed Changbin staring at you, waiting for you to do something, and you realized you had just been standing there playing with the loose strings of the accessory. 

“So,” You flipped the scarf over your shoulder, striking an overdramatic pose. “How do I look?” The warmth came back when Changbin laughed, and you fought to smother it into ashes.

“Hm, I think you look fabulous, a natural Hufflepuff.” You smacked his shoulder. “Hey! That was the highest compliment I could have given you.” Loud laughter echoed through the Great Hall again, and you were sure the unicorns and other animals in the Forbidden Forest could have heard it from over there.

“Okay let’s go before you think up any other ‘compliments’ for me.” You gestured towards the library. It was only two floors up so luckily it wasn’t that far of a walk, but you still wanted to get it over with so you could relax in the soft chairs up above.

“You say that like I don’t already have a whole catalogue loaded into my brain.” Changbin turned towards the big doors, looking up in the general direction of the library. “I’ll race you?”

Upon hearing that you got into what you could only assume was a good enough stance for getting ready to run. “Okay.” You said, crouching down even more and looking towards your right at Changbin. “1, 2, 3, go!”

With that, you took off, laughing at the faded yelling of Changbin following behind you. Everything turned into a blur, yellow streaks from your (Changbin’s) scarf and the words being screamed at you from the paintings quickly passing by faded until you didn’t care about anything. It was freeing, being able to run through the halls and not worry about losing points (though you did think about the paintings ratting you out to the professors when they came back).

As soon as you had passed through the door to the library you stopped in your tracks, hands resting on your knees and breath coming out in small gasps. It wasn’t everyday you ran as fast as you did, in fact, the last time you did run that fast you were being chased by a small troll through the Forbidden Forest.

You took your time walking to one of the plush chairs surrounding a huge table, plopping down on it unceremoniously. Yeah, you had won the race, but had you really won the race? 

Within a few seconds of sitting down Changbin came bounding through the door frame, chest pumping with every labored breath he took. He followed the same path as you, starting with his hands on his knees and then slowly shuffling towards a chair. Unlike you, he nearly collapsed before reaching the chair, fortunately he barely made it, a loud thud echoing through the library when he fell into it.

“Holy,” He took a breath and let it out, “shit.” Changbin laid back in the chair, hands clasped in front of his stomach. “You’re so,” Another breath, “fucking fast.”

“I knew a shortcut.” You tried to laugh but all that came out was a puff of air, lungs still working overtime to provide you oxygen.

“Damn Ravenclaws.” Changbin mumbled, his breath still escaping in short puffs.

You both took a few minutes to calm down, your backs resting comfortably on the plush cushions. You felt your breath even out, a small bead of sweat falling from your hairline. The smell of old books filled your nostrils, small fibers from the scarf coming up to tickle your nose. Although you had just run until you felt like your lungs would pop, you felt relaxed.

Snow fell softly outside, cascading past the windows of the library and making everything feel like a winter wonderland even from the comfort of the heat filled castle. There was a sense of urgency to study, what with so little time until OWLs, yet as you sat there, you also felt comfort wash over you. You still had a month and a half, there was time.

“We should start studying now.” Changbin said, his voice still holding an airiness to it. Despite him saying that, neither of you moved, feet staying planted on the plush carpet. Neither of you bothered to even sit up, backs being scrunched up slightly from slouching.

A few more minutes passed by, your fingers stroking the soft chair and head turned to watch the snow falling outside. You desperately wanted to grab a thick coat and just lie in the snow for a few hours. Or a few days. Or a few weeks. However long it took for your mind to stop worrying about OWLs.

“Penny for your thoughts?” His soft voice pierced the silence, and you tore your eyes away from the winter wonderland outside to look at Changbin. His hair was cut perfectly, some strands wavy and messy while others completely straight. His eyes were completely calm, just observing you and you felt more exposed than if you were just given a truth serum.

“Just thinking about the snow and OWLs.” You rested your cheek on your shoulder (well, the thick yellow scarf covering your shoulder) eyes closing for a moment of peace before opening them to Changbin’s gaze again. “You know, stressing about exams is my secret talent.” You continued, a near silent chuckle escaping you.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, you’re one of the smartest people in the castle, but a little extra studying won’t hurt.” Changbin sat up, a loud huff accompanied by a puff of air following his statement.

“Fine, fine.” You sat up as well, tightening Changbin’s scarf around your neck. There was a slight scent of pine needles and cinnamon, an unlikely combination but it made you immediately relax. “But don’t blame me if I start dozing off, your scarf is way more comfortable than any of mine.”

“If you want, you can keep it, I have Hufflepuff friends that took up knitting and can make me however many I want.” Changbin smiled and you declined to retort with, well they won’t smell like you. 

“I’ll think about it.” You looked around at the rows of books, debating silently what subject to start first. Of course, the logical thing would be to start on what you were the worst at, but sometimes you decided to ignore those thoughts in favor of working up to the worst. “So where should we start? History of magic?”

With Changbin’s nod you both set out a plan of gathering books, spreading them on the table and skimming through each one. Occasionally you would quiz one another, loud laughter erupting in the normally quiet space when one of you would mumble a funny answer to one of the questions. 

That continued until the sky started turning orange outside the windows, a deeper sense of fatigue settling over the both of you and reminding you both that sleep was an important part of studying. It was then that you both rose from your seats, uttering a soft goodbye with a warm handshake as you both went your separate ways to your Common Rooms.

It was also that night that you realized you hadn’t taken his scarf off.

v.

This pattern of eating breakfast in peace at the same table and racing to the library to study all day went on for a few more days until one morning you approached your normal table, plates of food already laid out. Changbin was already sat down, stuffing his cheeks with everything he could fit in there. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, sitting down in front of him and starting to eat. You noticed it was everything you always put on your plate, and your face heated up at the thought of Changbin paying that close of attention on you. Luckily you could hide any hint of the heat rising with the scarf - Changbin’s scarf - wrapped around your neck.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” His cheeks were still stuffed with food, words coming out slightly jumbled. “I figured today could be the day we get some good old hands-on practice!”

“Okay, I’m both confused and worried at the same time.” You started eating, the warmth from the food spreading through your body and instantly brightening you up from the bone chilling cold night before. 

You both ate in silence, Changbin finishing before you and spending his extra time looking at the Christmas tree. He had a small smile on his face, the lights from the ornaments dancing across his features. With the soft light from the tree illuminating you both, you sat staring at Changbin, who was quite literally glowing.

“Okay so what are we doing today?” You asked, sending your plate away once you had finished eating.

A sly grin made its way onto Changbin’s face and he leaned forward, hand resting underneath his chin. “It’s a surprise.”

“Oh, great. I love surprises.” You said sarcastically, yet a smile still popped up. As much as you tried to act upset or annoyed at not knowing, you couldn’t stop the warmth that filled you at having Changbin’s smile, albeit mischievous, directed at you.

Changbin stood up, extending his hand towards you. Confused, you stood up as well, putting your hand into his and feeling the warmth heat up when he interlaced your fingers. “Close your eyes.” The last thing you saw before darkness washed over you was the slight tint of pink on Changbin’s cheeks and the tilt of his lips up in a now genuine smile.

You inched forward slowly, Changbin’s hand firmly secured in your own so you didn’t accidentally walk into a wall or something. “Just trust me.” Changbin’s voice came from directly next to you and he squeezed your hand softly. You chose not to reply, just squeezing his hand back and waiting as he started picking up the pace.

When you finally started walking normally you focused your other senses, listening to the pictures mumble things about people in the castle over break, to which Changbin firmly shushed them. His hand was warm, palm moist with a thin layer of sweat. Whether it was from your hand in his or the warmth of the fireplaces providing heat you didn’t know. 

From what you knew of the placement of the paintings, you were headed in the opposite direction of the library. As you already guessed, you knew that you weren’t going there, yet the curiosity still ate you up inside. 

All of a sudden Changbin stopped and you almost ran into him, a sound of surprise coming from your lips. The feeling of his eyes on you even though you couldn’t see him made you impatient. You tapped your shoe on the ground, trying to fill the silence with some sort of noise. 

“Okay you can open your eyes.” Changbin said, slowly disconnecting your hands and you had to fight to keep the frown off your face.

Opening your eyes you found you were stood in front of the door to the Herbology room, the full glass wall showing the rows and rows of plants all laid out. The thought of actually handling them while the professor wasn’t there was worrying, and you looked towards a smiling Changbin with raised eyebrows.

“So we’re going to be messing with the plants? Without the professor?” Your voice raised slightly in worry.

“Well, yeah. Why else would I bring you here?” The smile on Changbin’s face comforted you, yet you still had the thought of not being allowed in there. “I know what you’re thinking,” Changbin continued on when he noticed you not answering, “Professor Longbottom asked me to stay behind during break to tend to the plants. You could say I have a green thumb.” He gave a thumbs up and you chuckled.

“So I’m not gonna die of a mandrake’s scream or anything?” Changbin chuckled at your question. 

“Just trust me.” He said, opening up the door and gesturing for you to walk in. “I wouldn’t let you die, there’s no one else to pin it on if you do.” 

“Ha ha,” you faked a laugh, walking into the Herbology room. It was a completely glass room, and you could see the thick snow blanket on the ground outside. You had to admit it was a very beautiful sight, and you stood in awe. The rainbow of plants contrasting with the pitch white outside was picture perfect.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Changbin came up behind you, walking down to the opposite end of the room. From there, he picked up two pots, each with similar looking leaves and shapes. You were still mesmerized by the picturesque background to focus on anything that was happening in the warm room. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin asked, much closer. He was still holding the two pots of plants.

“It’s just, so beautiful.” You had seen snow plenty of times before, being at Hogwarts for five years and being there for the slow building cold months, but nothing compared to the sight you saw. The inches of snow coating the ground made everything look bright, even the dark leaves on the trees at the edge of the forest were stark white. It was like a winter wonderland you would only see on TV.

“Yea it is.” Changbin sat the pots down, turning around and leaning on the table. He faced the outside, a soft smile on his face as he watched the slow cascading of the snow. “I’ve been staying here for the past two years to take care of the plants and I’ll never get tired of how gorgeous this view is.” 

When you tore your eyes away from the outside you looked towards Changbin, your face becoming hot upon noticing he was staring at you. You smiled at him, turning around towards the plants on the table. “So what are these?” You asked. You recognized the colors and leaf shapes but you doubted you could dig deep in your brain to remember what their names and purposes were.

“Well,” Changbin turned around, gesturing to the plant on the left. “This one is wormwood. We’ve used it before in Potions class. It’s most commonly used for healing potions, but putting too much could result in extreme effects including death. Kinda ironic.”

You nodded along, watching the way Changbin softly petted the plant. It was almost as if he was communicating with them. His touch was gentle, the same sort of gentle as when he held your hand while leading you to the classroom.

“This one is very similar, both in looks and use. This is dittany.” He pointed to the other plant to his right. “It’s used for healing but doesn’t need to be mixed into a potion, just one leaf could heal a skin wound.” 

You again nodded at what he was saying, trying to distinguish between the two. It became easier as you observed them up close, closer than the professor would let anyone in class. Everything started clicking together and as you listened to Changbin go on and on about each and every plant in the room (besides the mandrakes, you already knew plenty from the extensive lesson in second-year) you started understanding just how to tell the difference between each and every plant. For so long you despised walking into Herbology class but the way Changbin described it made it seem so simple and even a little bit fun.

As he went on you helped him tend to the plants, listening to him naming and describing each one along the way. The way his eyes would light up upon looking at each different pot as he walked along made a smile appear on your face. He was so engulfed in talking that he didn’t notice you stop at the end of a row, watching as he was oblivious to everything happening around him.

When he finally noticed you weren't behind him he had reached the opposite end of the row, turning around and seeing you standing so far away at the other end of the room. He had stopped talking, fingers tapping on the wood table in front of him. His lip was pulled between his teeth, a hint of rose on his cheeks.

“Sorry, I get carried away with talking about the plants.” He shrugged, looking back up at you. 

“No it’s okay.” It was your turn to get embarrassed, even though moments ago you had kind of, not really, been staring at him unabashedly. “I’m learning so much better than if I was stuck in front of a textbook all day. Besides,” You started walking up the row slowly, recalling all the plant’s names in your head. You could remember some of them, and you thought that even a little progress was progress nonetheless. “I love listening to people talk about what they’re passionate about.”

“What are you passionate about?” Changbin asked.

You thought for a moment, your feet stopping in front of a lily flower. “Learning.” You started, “I’ve also really loved astronomy since I was a kid. It’s one of my best subjects.” 

“I’m not that great with astronomy. They’re so far away that I just end up not caring too much but the stars are pretty to look at.”

“I can help you with it one day if you want?” You asked as you started to walk forward again. Outside a strong wind whistled through the trees but you paid no mind, focusing instead on the pricks of the leaves of each plant you passed by. You made sure not to touch the poisonous ones, Changbin was a plant expert but he couldn’t stop the effects of any of the deadly plants.

There was silence as Changbin nodded, turning around to load the mister with water for the plants. By the time you made your way up to him he had finished, facing you again with the same pink cheeks and smile on his face. You pushed down the thought of leaning forward just a bit more, and instead pulled back, one of your hands going to stroke the leaves of a dittany plant. The room was a mix of scents, though the unmistaken rush of cinnamon from the scarf around your neck flushed everything else out. 

“I, uh, I think that's enough for the day.” Changbin was the first to break the silence, one hand playing with his sleeve while the other tapped on the table in front of him. “Those are all the ones Professor Longbottom said would be on the test, but don’t tell him I told you.”

“There’s no paintings in here to eavesdrop and rat us out so your secret’s safe with me.” You made a lock gesture over your mouth, lightly tossing the imaginary key over your shoulder. 

“Hm.” He put his hand on his chin, stroking an imaginary beard. “Okay, I guess I can trust you.”

“Well you've already told me so you’ve got no choice.” You laughed, noticing the sun starting to set outside. Long shadows made the glass room you were in seem much more eerie. “So, should we get going back to our rooms? It’s getting dark.”

Changbin leaned forward, the same damned smirk on his face and you didn’t know whether you wanted to slap it off or kiss it off. “Are you scared? I can protect you.” He raised his right arm, flexing it but with his thick robe in the way you couldn’t see any hint of muscle.

“If anyone is gonna need protecting it’s you,” You jabbed at his arm, laughing when he feigned hurt. “I’m the stronger one here.” You mimicked Changbin, holding up your right arm and flexing.

“Remind me never to meet you in an alley, I’m afraid I’ll get my ass beat.” Changbin held up his hands in defeat, eyebrows raised and a loud laugh coming from his mouth. When he lowered his arms his smile lowered as well. “It’s getting really dark though, do you want me to walk you back to your Common Room?” 

You were going to decline, but then you remembered what you said only moments ago. Perhaps tonight was the best night to help him in return. “Actually, I have a surprise for you.”

Another strong wind from outside rustled the branches of the trees. The sun had almost completely set, and you knew that was the perfect opportunity to go somewhere you had been missing out on since everyone left for break. 

“Oh? Okay, where are we going?” Changbin asked.

“It’s a surprise.” You smirked, leaning forward and grabbing his hand as he did to you earlier in the day. “Close your eyes.” 

You waited for Changbin to close his eyes, not before giving you a very suspicious look to which you raised your eyebrows. Once he did, you interlaced your fingers with his, taking notice on how sweaty they were. Deciding not to torture him too much, you started walking, taking special care not to bump him into any walls or anything. 

“You better not be leading me to the pools to push me in.” Changbin threatened from behind you, the hand that wasn’t grasped in yours covering his eyes. 

“I’m not that cruel.” You chuckled, almost wincing at how tight he was holding your hand. On the surface you could see no nervousness, but with the way his fingers twitched and the small scrunch of his nose you knew he was hesitant. “Just trust me, I trusted you right?” When Changbin made a small noise of agreement you continued. “Exactly, you’ll be fine.” 

A silence filled the castle as you continued walking, knowing it was only a few more minutes before you made it to your destination. A deep rumble came from behind you and before you could ask any questions the familiar notes of a Christmas song came flowing around you. You decided not to say anything, enjoying the soft sound of Changbin’s voice behind you drowning out the murmurs of the paintings you passed. 

By the time you got to the tower Changbin was humming the end of the Christmas song, his thumb tapping the rhythm into your hand. It was quite comforting to have his voice fill the silence, bouncing off the walls and seemingly echoing through the whole castle.

“Okay.” You stopped in front of the doors, giggling at how Changbin almost ran into you. “You can open your eyes now.” 

Changbin took his hand off his face, eyes opening and immediately finding yours before searching around. His mouth dropped open when he saw the intricate carvings on the door in front of you.

“As payment for you helping me with Herbology I decided to help you with Astronomy.” You released his hand, a cold air rushing in and reminding you how empty it was.

“Aren’t we gonna get in trouble if we’re in there?” Changbin asked, the hand that was previously in yours fall to his side, palm slowly rubbing on his robe.

“Professor Sinistra lets me up here all the time.” You proceeded forward, holding open the door and waiting for him to follow. “I go up here at least twice a week, you’ll be fine, I promise.” 

Changbin didn’t say anything as he followed, the only sounds being your feet on the steps going up to the top of the tower. You had climbed these steps hundreds of times before but it never really got easier, you found. It was extremely tall, the tallest thing in the castle, and your legs always felt like jelly by the time you made it to the top. 

That time, as well, your legs wobbled when you finally reached the top, but a hand rested lightly on your back, steadying you and preventing you from falling. “Careful.” Changbin’s voice was very close behind you, his fingertips just barely pressing into your spine. “I thought you said you had been up here many times before.” 

“I guarantee your legs would never get used to walking up these stairs either.” You shot him a side eye, walking over to the far end of the room and sitting down. “Come on.” You patted the spot next to you. You didn’t see Changbin come to sit next to you but you felt his presence move and eventually settle beside you. 

“It’s so beautiful.” Changbin followed your eyes to the ceiling. Night had settled in and with the darkness of the forest around the castle it only amplified the bright show above your heads. You made a noise of agreement, your shoulder brushing up against Changbin’s. 

“So, test time.” Changbin groaned at your statement and you rolled your eyes, resting back on your hands as you continued to search the sky for the perfect question. “Where is Capella?”

Once you found it yourself, you looked over at Changbin, chuckling at the absolutely clueless look on his face. The light from the stars lit up his features, his pouted lips, scrunched up nose and quick flickering eyes all shone with a glittering shimmer. 

“Don’t laugh at me!” Changbin’s pout extended further when he heard your laugh, “How do you find them? They all look the same.” 

You tried to not laugh anymore, but the way his lip jutted out and the loud sigh that escaped him was too cute, so you chuckled again. “You have to put it in perspective of Polaris, the North Star.”

“There,” You pointed up towards the bright star directly above you both, “is Polaris. So Capella is due east of Polaris and it’s also one of the brightest stars. We learned about this in second year. There it is.” You found the constellation it was in and pointed, looking over at Changbin and finding him squinting in the general direction of where your finger was. 

“Which one?” Changbin asked, still squinting towards the stars. 

You sat up, leaning over and grabbing one of Changbin’s arms. Time seemed to slow down as your fingers danced up his arm, pushing his fingers down until only his index finger was up. You guided his hand until he was pointing at the star in question, but you didn’t let go of him.

“There it is.” You didn’t feel the need to raise your voice so you softly spoke into the air around you. “There’s Capella.” 

When you finally let go of his hand you turned to him, a near silent gasp escaping you when you realized just how close you were. Your noses were almost touching and you felt both the warmth from his breath and from his body heat. There was also a familiar warmth that started at your face and spread through your whole body. You were almost tempted to take off your - Changbin’s - scarf but you decided against it, knowing the cold would creep in quickly.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin had lowered his hand and it was resting in his lap. The fog from his breath lingered in the air before floating up towards the stars.

You tried to think of something to tell him other than the overwhelming warmth that undoubtedly came from being under his gaze, or the fact that you were only mere inches away from kissing him. It was something you never really entertained the idea of, dating. Sure, there were cute guys and girls at the school but you knew studying was way more important. 

But spending the past few days with Changbin, laughing and studying and having quite possibly the best time in a while with him, all you thought about was spending whatever time you could with him. Perhaps it was the loneliness or perhaps it was actually Changbin, you weren’t sure but you were more than happy to spend the rest of the break with him. 

“Uh,” You stuttered, moving away from him and looking down at your hands. Your face burned and when you looked back up at Changbin you saw his cheeks were a bright crimson. “Just really happy that I have someone to spend the break with. I can imagine how lonely it must be to be the only person in the castle.”

“Yeah,” Changbin looked down at his hands in his lap. “I love taking care of the plants but the past two years have been kinda lonely.” He shrugged, looking back up at you. By the time his eyes met your his cheeks had slowly lost their red color. “But you’re here now so it’s much better now.”

You nodded, and through the silence you felt the tendrils of sleep clawing at your brain. You fought back a yawn and looked back up at the stars. Ever since first year you had been coming up there at night to watch the stars. There was something so peaceful and serene about sitting in the tower and just sitting underneath the stars.

“Tired?” Changbin smiled softly. When you nodded he stood up, extending his hand to you. “I’ll walk you back to your Common Room.”

You reached forward and let yourself get helped up, smiling back at him. As soon as you were upright he let go of your hand and you fought not to get disappointed at the lack of his hand in yours. 

“My brain is melted from talking about Herbology.” You laughed as you started walking down the steps of the tower. “So many plants and uses and effects.”

“I feel the same about Astronomy and Charms, an infinite amount of stars and hundreds of thousands of spells to memorize. It’s fucking impossible.” Changbin said, his feet making a loud echo through the stone walls. 

“Nothing is impossible.” You countered, focusing your eyes on your feet and trying not to miss a step. “Things get hard but not impossible.” 

You walked in silence, the only sound you heard was the soft footsteps and the whispers of the paintings. 

“You shouldn’t be out at night.” A woman spoke loudly from one of the paintings. The pictures around her seemed to get the message in a chain reaction, they all looked around at each other and repeated the same phrase. 

In your head you knew the paintings couldn’t do anything at that moment to get you in trouble, but you also knew they could relay messages to professors when everyone got back. You looked back at Changbin, eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“Can’t we just have some fun?” Changbin shot back at the paintings, and you watched with amusement as they all were silenced. “You’ll probably forget by the time everyone comes back anyways.” 

You both laughed as the paintings disappeared behind their borders. As your laugher dissipated a low hum came from behind you and you smiled at the sound of whatever song Changbin was humming along to. 

The walk to your Common Room wasn’t too long, so you got there before Changbin could finish the first song. There wasn’t much else to say, but you also found that you didn’t really need words to convey whatever you were feeling.

You nodded towards Changbin, the small hint of a smile being somewhat hidden by the yellow scarf around your neck. Heat creeped up your face when Changbin mirrored your expression, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” It came out as more of a statement than a question but you still nodded to confirm. “Great.” Changbin stood still, not moving. “I’ll, uh, I’ll go now.”

When you nodded again you turned to the door to your Common Room, watching out of the corner of your eye to see Changbin turning around, fingers playing with the sleeves of his robe and head ducked low. You read the riddle on the picture above the door, getting distracted when you heard a voice from the hallway.

It was singing.

It was Changbin. 

You stood there in front of the door and listened to him singing. Although you couldn’t really distinguish any words other than ‘love’ and ‘snow’, you were still in awe at how pretty he sounded. His singing was much different than his speaking voice. Where his voice was deep and rough, his singing was light and airy. Never in a million years would you expect him to sing like that but you loved it.

His voice slowly dissipated as he walked away, and you stayed standing there until the last note could be heard following him towards the Hufflepuff Common Room. You wondered if he would still be singing in his dorm room, and you thought of him pacing his room, a serious look on his face as he continued to sing. 

You were disappointed when you could no longer hear him, so you quickly solved the riddle to get into your Common Room. By the time you had finally settled into your bed, changing from your robe into something far more comfortable, you realized something. If it was possible for you to fall deeper into your feelings for Seo Changbin, you were Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

“Fuck.” You said to yourself, hands going to rub at your eyes in an attempt to scrub all the thoughts from your brain. That, unfortunately, did not work, and you continued to think about Changbin’s beautiful singing and bright smile and everything else about him until you eventually fell asleep. 

vi.

After days of the same routine, going to the Herbology room for the day to learn about the next batch of plants and then to the Astronomy Tower to try and teach Changbin about another cluster of stars, you were quite literally burnt out. 

Yeah, it was endearing to see how passionate Changbin got about the plants, and helping him tend to them really boosted your knowledge, but it got to the point where you felt as though your brain was going to burst from how full it felt. You were also sure Changbin felt the same way because the last night you went to the tower he had fallen asleep, cheek squished on your shoulder and soft breaths escaping into fog around you.

“I’m so done with studying.” Changbin groaned as he hung his head over his plate of food. It was almost empty and you laughed at him almost dipping his nose in his syrupy pancakes.

“We can do something else if you want.” You suggested, finishing up your breakfast and sending your plate away. 

Changbin lifted his head up, mouth tilted and nose scrunched in thought. You waited for a few moments, observing the way his teeth teased his bottom lip and his eyes flickering between the lights hanging above.  

All of a sudden it was like a lightbulb had been lit up above his head, his whole body stiffening up and his eyes quickly snapping to meet yours. “I know what we should do!” You shushed him when his voice came out just tad bit louder than you would have liked, even though there was no one else in the room to be annoyed.

“Please tell me it’s not a surprise.” Not that you would have hated if it was a surprise as that meant you would have gotten to hold his hand again which you definitely weren’t opposed to, but you weren’t too keen on not knowing where you were going. 

“Well it would be pretty hard to hide this surprise so I’ll say no.” He chuckled, finishing his food at a very alarming rate. “Come on, let’s go!” The excitement in his voice only served to make your heart pump faster as well, a big smile curling past the edge of your scarf.

You followed him as he stood up, eyebrows raising as he stuck out his hand again. If this wasn’t a surprise, why did he want to hold your hand? You thought as you looked at him.

And he seemed to read your mind, because a pink hue spread across his face, the hand that wasn’t held out to you coming up to the back of his neck. “Oh, just so I don’t lose you.” Changbin smiled but it was more of a nervous one than the excited smile he had shown only moments before. “You know, the castle is really big. One wrong turn and we’re miles away from each other!”

His logic was sound, and you definitely weren’t opposed to holding his hand again so you made no protest, reaching forward and feeling warmth envelop you as your fingers intertwined again. While you weren’t sure exactly what the warm feeling was, you knew that it felt nice and it spread through your whole body. It wasn’t a hot warmth, but a comforting one, and you wanted to feel it all the time.

But if it only happened when you were near Changbin then, fuck. Perhaps you liked Changbin more than thought, or wanted to think, but you knew that at the end of the break you would go back to being strangers and you didn’t want to face that heartbreak. 

“Where are we going?” You asked, noticing that instead of turning right or left at the Great Hall doors, Changbin started walking forward, toward the front of the castle.

Changbin didn’t answer you until you were skirting the edge of the forest, the cold breeze nipping at your nose and cheeks. “It’s boring in the castle so I figured we could go to Hogsmeade.” When he turned back to you his nose was red, cheeks still pink and eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Is that allowed?” Your hand gripped Changbin’s tightly, the freezing temperatures making you cling to any warmth you could get and obviously it was all coming from him.

“There are no professors here to get us in trouble, and the people at Hogsmeade aren’t going to give a shit about our robes or anything.” Changbin shrugged, and you noticed you weren’t headed in the normal direction of village, but through a small path in the middle of the woods.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a Hufflepuff? You know, always following rules.” Your questions kept coming, and you looked sideways. Changbin’s nose was red, his cheeks almost matching. His scarf nearly covered his mouth, but you could still see the fog from his breath escaping through the fibers. As the snow fell around you, you noticed small snowflakes sticking to Changbin’s eyelashes. 

Before you could catch yourself staring, he turned to you, the snowflakes on his eyelashes slowly melting every time he blinked. “Even a Hufflepuff has to have some fun.” He winked at you, the tip of his lips curling above the scarf in a sly smile. 

The walk to Hogsmeade was much quicker than the normal way, and you wondered how many people knew of the shortcut. By the time Changbin had turned back to look down the path, a large brick wall was coming into view. Paired with the mix of talking, laughing and music growing louder as you approached, you were surprised at how quick you had made it there.

“Wow, that was quick.” You noted, looking up and down the wall and seeing you were right outside the village. There was no door, however, just the dark bricks that were jutting out in a distinct pattern.

Instead of responding, Changbin released your hand and you hoped he didn’t spot the way your bottom lip mimicked the bricks, jutting out slightly. He took out his wand, tapping a seemingly random array of bricks and you watched in awe as a small portion of the wall began swinging open. 

Behind the door you could see a steady stream of people walking up and down the streets and you realized you were right in the middle of Hogsmeade, without having to go through the front gates and deal with security. Changbin motioned for you to follow him, and without any thought behind your decision, you reached out and grabbed his hand. His eyes were cast downward and cheeks significantly redder than previously. 

“So I don’t lose you.” You mumbled out, feeling your face heat up and lip being teased by your teeth. The boy connected to you nodded, his fingers gripping yours tightly, but not tight enough that it got uncomfortable. If anything, you noticed the familiar warmth spread through you but this time it started at your hand in his.

“Come on, let’s go.” Changbin quickly started walking, and you looked behind to see the secret door slowly closing, the lines where it was opened now smooth again. You followed quietly behind, the people walking around you paying no attention to two students coming out of a dark alley together. It was understandable, with the holidays closely approaching, people would surely be more occupied with finding presents than busting students.

“Where do you wanna go first?” Changbin turned around to ask you, turning into a space away from the constant wave of people walking, not wanting to get swept away in the crowd. The constant talking and music around you made it hard for you to hear him, and you leaned closer, a sound of confusion coming from your throat. Changbin leaned forward, and you felt his nose almost touch the shell of your ear. “I said, where do you wanna go first?”

You looked around, taking in the shops around you and deciding to start there and just keep walking. Immediately to your right was the bookshop, Tomes and Scrolls, and you thought about seeing if there were any new astronomy books you could read. 

You turned to Changbin, a small gasp escaping you when you realized just how close you were. The tip of your nose just brushed his before he pulled away slightly, the tips of his ears burning red.

“Uh,” You stuttered, eyes trailing down to his lips and the way his teeth teased the bottom one. “Can we go to Tomes and Scrolls? I want to see if there are any new astronomy books.” When you looked back up at his eyes, you were surprised to see him staring at your lips. 

“Sure.” Changbin looked away, towards the bookstore only a few steps away. He seemed to be thinking to himself before he nodded. “Yea, let’s go.” He tugged your hand, weaving through the current of people, but not without catching a few dirty gazes for occasionally bumping into someone. 

As soon as you entered the building you were hit by the smell of old parchment. It was a very familiar smell, having been there more times than you could count when you would walk through Hogsmeade during weekends. You noticed there weren’t many people in the large shop, and knowing exactly where you needed to go, you started walking there.

Once you reached the row of books you had been looking for, the science section, you turned towards the one still connected by your hands. Changbin was looking around, the old antiques lining windowsills and shelves intriguing him.

“If you want, you can go look at whatever you want.” You let go of his hand, loosening your scarf as you had just walked into a room with heating. “You don’t have to stay by my side if you don’t want to.” 

“I don’t mind.” Changbin countered but made no move to grab for your hand again. “I don’t have any books I want to look for anyway.” He smiled, gesturing towards the shelf of books. “Go ahead, nerd.”

You lightly smacked his arm, sticking your tongue out at him and beginning to walk down the aisle, but not before throwing a, “You’re the nerd here, plant boy.”

Soft footsteps followed behind you, and you began to forget about your surroundings as you immersed yourself in the books. Most of them you had read before, some of them being presents from friends or your parents and others being given to you by Professor Sinistra had gifted you for being the top of the class. 

After you had picked out a few books you were interested in, you turned to Changbin, finding him looking very confused at a book of the history of the planets. You chuckled at him, walking the few steps until you found yourself next to him.

“Having fun?” You asked, laughing when said boy looked up at you with an incredibly clueless face. 

“This all feels like another language.” Changbin snapped the book shut, putting it where he found it and fully facing you. “Are you done?” The sentence would sound impatient if it weren’t for the smile on his face. When you nodded, Changbin motioned for you to go checkout, and you walked in silence with him behind you.

As you put your books down on the counter, you smiled towards George, the store owner. “Hi Mister George!” Everyone always called him by his first name and he always had a bright smile on his face despite the slight shake in his hand and the need for a cane to walk.

“Hello Y/N, it’s been a while! Found some books you haven't read yet?” His smile made him look so much younger. George started ringing up your two books, looking between you and Changbin yet he didn’t say anything.

“Yea, studying for OWLs set me back a little bit but I’m sure I’ll catch up with your supply soon.” You chuckled, trying to think back to the last time you had came by this store and not remembering.

“I’m sure you’ll do amazing, sweetie.” George finished ringing up your books, sliding them back to you. 

After you paid you reached forward to grab the books, only to be cut off by Changbin getting there first. When you turned to him, he simply shrugged saying, “I’ll carry them for you.”

You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest and sighing. “I can do it.”

“I know, I want to carry them for you.” He countered, bringing them closer to his body.

A chuckle came from next to you, and you both looked towards the noise, finding George looking at you two with another large smile. “You two are cute together. Remind me of my wife and I, both stubborn as hell but still in love.”

You wanted to say something but your face was aflame, ears burning and head tilted toward the ground. Instead of responding, you changed the subject, “I’ll see you later, Mister George, happy holidays.” You didn’t look at Changbin as you walked away, only knowing he was following behind you when you heard his footsteps and then eventually felt his hand envelop yours. 

Neither of you said anything about what George said, but with one look at Changbin you were sure your ears probably matched his own, bright red. You would have liked to say something about what happened, apologize for not correcting him, apologizing for not confirming what he said, but to be honest you weren’t too sure of your feelings. 

“Do you mind if we go to Dervish and Banges, the magic store?” Changbin asked, nodding towards the building only a few shops down, his hands preoccupied. “I want to get a few gifts.” 

“Of course, let’s go.” You agreed, quickly making your way down the road and running into the shop.

There were more people than the bookstore, loud chatter echoing through the whole shop and you felt Changbin loosen his grip on your hand. You let go immediately, looking over at him and seeing him searching for something.

“Should we split up?” You knew you could find a few gifts for your friends, and you wanted to give Changbin some privacy. “You’re probably sick of always being stuck with me.”

Changbin chuckled, shaking his head. “Not yet.” He paused for a second. “I’m just kidding, by the way. I don’t mind being with you. I mean, stuck with you.” He corrected himself, adjusting the books that had settled on his hip. “But yea, let’s split up and find our gifts. Then we can head back to the castle.” 

“Sure, sounds good.” You held your hands out. “Let me carry the books,” when Changbin didn’t hand them over you continued, “at least until we are done in here.”

“Okay.” Changbin drew out the last syllable, slowly giving them back to you. “But only until we are headed back to the castle, and then I’ll carry them. Let’s meet back at the front of the store in an hour.”

You nodded, turning on your heels and heading straight for the sweets section. If there was one thing you knew about Luna it was that she loved sweets. Looking through the different assortment of delicious looking things you settled on chocolate frogs, recalling once she had tried to keep one of the frogs in their dorm room and for the next month it smelled like stale milk. For a moment you debated getting her the chocolate frogs, but figured that she had learned her lesson the first time. 

For a while you were strolling up the aisles, looking at different gadgets and things. For Seungmin you had gotten a journal that had a whiteboard on the front, allowing him to doodle anything he wanted on it, it also came with a paper with a spell on it to animate the drawing.

You had also gotten something for Changbin, and you hoped it wouldn't be weird getting a present for someone you had only known for two weeks. It was a small snow globe, but instead of it being full of water or small flecks of artificial snow, it was an ecosystem full of plants. They were all alive, still growing from sprouts in the bottom of the globe. You thought that he could have his own greenhouse in his dorm room for when he couldn’t walk down to the large Herbology room. 

But, Han Jisung was an enigma. He was arguably your best friend at Hogwarts, ever since you walked into the Ravenclaw Common Room and saw a very hyper Jisung playing tag with some of the other students. He had ran into you, helping you up and introducing himself. Now five years later you told him all your secrets and he told you all of his and you wanted to get him something really special for when he came back from break. 

Finally you had settled on the quills, knowing how much he wrote, especially music, on anything he could. Sometimes you would go back to bed with ink marks on your arms from where Jisung just started drawing musical notes. 

There was a huge assortment of quills, and you were quite taken aback by it. Anything from quills that told jokes to quills that wrote in invisible ink that were only visible with a spell, they all were laid out in front of you and you were extremely indecisive.

That was, until you saw it. It was a medium sized quill with a very dark feather. At first glance it looked like any normal, non magic quill, but once you picked it up you read the tag.

“Turn any song into actual music with the flick of your wrist! Just draw a music note and listen as the quill plays it for you!” 

You smiled, clutching onto it as if it was the last one. It was perfect, you thought as you made your way up to the front, handing over the things you got to the cashier. Everything you had gotten seemed to perfectly encapsulate the ones you got them for, and you were excited to be able to hand them over and see their reactions. 

However there was still a nagging feeling at the back of your mind that Changbin would find it weird that you got him a present. Maybe I shouldn’t give it to him. You thought as you retrieved the bag of items from the cashier, walking toward the front with the bag in one hand and your books in the other. 

At the front of the store you already spotted Changbin, a small bag in his hand and the other shoved into the pocket of his robe. When he spotted you he smiled before reaching out. Rolling your eyes, you handed over your books, watching as he maneuvered them to one arm, that same hand holding onto his bag.

“Ready to go?” Changbin asked, his scarf already tucked into his robe and nearly covering his mouth. 

You nodded, doing the same to your scarf (which was still Changbin’s, but at this point you really didn’t want to give it back). “Yep! I can’t wait to get back for dinner and then sleep.” If you knew anything, it was that you had no expectations of going back to the castle and studying. One day breaks can be beneficial. Besides, you already felt as if there was nothing else new to learn, and you still had a month to review. 

“I never thought I would hear a Ravenclaw complain about studying.” A soft chuckle escaped into the air as Changbin once again grabbed your hand with his free one. It went without saying anything and you accepted his fingers gripping onto yours as you walked side by side. 

“Just because we like learning doesn’t mean we like studying.” You weren’t wrong, what with the amount of groans and complaints you heard in the Common Room when studying for OWLs started you were sure that if anything, most Ravenclaws despised studying.

There was a comfortable silence that washed over you as you walked, your connected hands swinging slightly as you made your way to the secret door back to the castle. Changbin mumbled something under his breath, his hand disconnecting briefly from ours, wand tapping seemingly the same pattern as when you had entered, and you set off on the short walk back to the castle, his hand subconsciously finding his way back to yours.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked from beside you, eyes still focused on the white covered path. It was like a winter wonderland, but you also knew the monsters that could be hiding in any nook or behind any tree so you wanted to get back as quick as possible.

“Why do you always ask that?” It was definitely what was on your mind, and you had hoped you didn’t come across as rude. “I didn’t mean it like that, I am just curious.”

“No, it’s okay.” Changbin started swinging your hands, the cold breeze it created making you shiver slightly. “I guess it’s just an easy way to start a conversation, and it lets others talk about what they want to talk about instead of just talking about something random.”

“I never thought about it that way.” You continued walking, your hand stopped swinging in favor of Changbin’s thumb softly rubbing the top of your hand. You assumed it was on accident, a subconscious thing that he does, but he had never done it before. Not that you minded in the slightest, which was why you didn’t say anything, letting him continue on, a shy smile slipping onto your face. 

As soon as you made it to the castle you both raced into the Great Hall, the smell of dinner wafting through the walls and making your stomach growl. There was only a week and a half until break was over and five days until Christmas, so each meal leading up to the holiday seemed even more delicious than the last.

You ate quickly, the hunger in your stomach almost unbearable now that you sat down and relaxed. Besides the loud noises of you eating, there was silence, not even the fairy at the top of the tree singing. Once you were done you pushed your plate away, watching Changbin do the same. 

“I’m officially done with today.” You leaned back in your chain, your scarf hanging behind the back. “I mean, I had a great time but I’m so tired.” Sleep crawled at your eyelids and you fought not to succumb to it, especially not sitting up in a chair where there was a high possibility your body hits the floor.

“We should head to bed, we exerted a lot of energy.” Changbin mumbled, his eyes also almost closing, his bottom lip poked out in a pout and you had to convince yourself to not kiss him in your sleepy haze.

You made a noise of agreement, too tired to even form words. Your plates still sat there and with a groan you sent them away. Each second you were awake was another second that you felt sleep pulling you under.

“Come on, we should get to bed before we both fall asleep at the table.” Changbin stood up and you saw he was much more coherent than you were. Albeit, he was still swaying on his feet, eyes drooping every couple of seconds. 

Standing up, you shook your head, forcing yourself to wake up just enough to get to your bed. You grabbed your bag and books and fixed the scarf back onto your neck. With a tired smile you reached towards Changbin’s hand, interlocking fingers like you had been doing over and over the past two weeks.

Your feet dragged as you walked and at some point Changbin let go of your hand in favor of wrapping a hand around your waist. Although you were somewhere between sleep and awake, you registered his soft breath on your ear and his voice saying, “You didn’t sleep much last night, did you?”

Thinking back to it, you really hadn’t. You decided to get in some study time by yourself, talking out loud into the room and trying not to think about Changbin’s handsome face. By the time you had deemed yourself done with studying for the night, it was well past midnight, so with some quick, sleepy calculating you held up four fingers to signal how many hours you figured you got. 

Changbin nodded, keeping silent as the walk to your Common Room felt like hours but was only a few minutes. You were coherent enough to eventually pick your feet up fully, but you leaned to the side, resting your head on Changbin’s shoulder. If he didn’t like it, you could just blame it on the fatigue when you saw him in the morning. He didn’t seem to mind though, just walking along as his fingers pressed even more on your waist to keep you upright.

The riddle at the doorknob blinked, indicating you hadn’t solved it yet. Changbin looked over at you and you shook your head, rubbing off sleep just enough to be able to solve the riddle with ease. (They tended to reuse riddles a lot and within the five years of you being there you had seen a few many times before.)

“Get some sleep, Y/N.” Changbin whispered in your ear, thumb softly stroking your waist and you felt a shiver race through you. Whether that was because of the cold or because of Changbin’s extremely close proximity, you weren’t sure. Although sleep was relentlessly trying to pull you under, you were coherent enough to register just how much you liked him saying your name. 

You nodded, not wanting to take your head off his shoulder and definitely not wanting to leave his very warm presence. “Okay.” You finally mumbled after a few seconds. “You too, get some sleep Changbin.”

“I will. I promise.” Changbin laughed, and guided you towards the door. 

As you stepped through the threshold the door closed behind you, and you stumbled towards your bedroom, a smile on your face when you remembered everything that happened. The bag of your gifts hung from your hand and you set it on Luna’s bed, it’s not like she was using it at that moment anyways. 

When you collapsed in bed, pulling the blanket up to your chin and eyes closing almost instantly, you thought back to how secure you felt with Changbin’s arm around you and how warm you felt when he was around. Sure, you had had crushes before, and that atrocious date at the Yule Ball thanks to Jisung, but what you felt was something unknown and as a Ravenclaw you definitely did not appreciate not knowing what you were feeling.

“Damn you, Seo Changbin.” Your voice trailed off, sleep finally taking over.

vii.

The next four days were filled with relentless studying. You would stay in the library way past curfew with Changbin, scouring the aisles for any types of books that could help you that you hadn’t yet read. At one point you even fell asleep sitting in one of the rows of books, one minute you were searching for a book of potions and the next you were being shaken awake by Changbin.

But the morning of Christmas you woke up early, finding Changbin’s present still sitting on Luna’s bed. You decided to give it to him when you both went to tend to the plants, finding it perfect that his present fit the scenario.

You put his present in a small box, trying slowly to wrap it and make it look somewhat presentable. Unfortunately there wasn’t a spell for it to wrap itself, so you begrudgingly fought with your own fingers in an attempt to cover every inch of the box.

You weren’t sure exactly how long it took you to finally be satisfied with the present, but you did know that the sun was shining in your window, as opposed to the dark pre-sunrise glow from when you started. 

“It’s not that bad.” You said to yourself, holding out the present, observing every angle and deciding that although it did look pieced together, because it was pieced together with a lot of patches of wrapping paper, that it looked good enough to give to Changbin.

Walking down to the Great Hall, the paintings around you sang Christmas carols and you laughed when you realized that none of them matched each other, the lyrics and notes mixing together into a very noisy and unpleasant sound. 

“Can you guys at least sing the same song?” You told them as you walked past, chuckling when that only caused them to have an argument over which Christmas song was superior.

When you finally made it to the Great Hall you were stopped in your tracks, the giant Christmas tree in the middle of the room was lit up even more than it was before. Vibrant blues, greens and purples sparkled on every inch of the tree, and when you looked closer you noticed that the lights were actually moving.

“Merry Christmas!” One of the lights screamed, the high pitched voice causing you to cringe. The lights were actually fairies, flying from branch to branch. Their wings emulated multiple colors, changing every couple of seconds. 

Your eyes then travelled to another sparkling object, but as you approached your regular table you laughed, sitting down across from a very glittery Changbin.

“What happened?” You asked, leaning forward and picking a piece of tinsel out of his hair. His regularly black hair with red streaks instead looked silver under the light, an immense amount of glitter and tinsel stuck in it.

“I tried to ask the fairies to wrap my presents and they bombarded me with this.” Changbin gestured to his hair, shaking his head and laughing when glitter spewed in every direction. “At least they agreed to wrap them. I’m not that coordinated to do it myself.”

“I never thought of that. I would let them drown me in glitter if I didn’t have to wrap mine myself.” You thought back to your horrifically wrapped presents, but decided your friends would rather it be pieced together by you than perfectly wrapped by someone else.

Before you could say anything else two full plates of food flew and quite literally landed on the table. There was almost every type of breakfast you could think of sitting right in front of you and you looked up at Changbin, eyes wider than the plates. Changbin, however, was just smiling excitedly, his eyes scrunched up and cheeks shining with the remnants of glitter that had floated from his hair.

“Holy shit.” You whispered, eyes still trying to take in all the food in front of you.

“Yeah. They always serve this on Christmas. I swear I gain 5 pounds each year because I can’t stop eating.” Changbin laughed, licking his lips in anticipation. He looked like he would dive in immediately but instead he looked up at you, a lopsided grin on his face. “By the way, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Changbin.” You smiled back before staring down at your plate and debating where to start. 

A long groan escaped your lips when you finished eating, the last of the food having been cleared from the plate. It was quite possibly the tastiest meal you had ever had, and you considered staying there for break every year just so you could eat it on Christmas Day. Looking over at Changbin you saw the same expression you harbored, a very exhausted and overwhelmed smile on both of your faces. 

“Oh. My. God.” You shook your head, “I don’t think I can eat anything else ever again.” 

“We still have dinner tonight.” Changbin reminded you, chuckling when you groaned even louder. 

You sat in silence while you waited for the immensely full feeling to pass enough for you to be able to get up. The plates still sat on the table in front of you and neither of you had the energy to send it away this time. 

Before you could gather the energy to lift your wand, a flash of glitter appearing in front of you. “Merry Christmas!” The fairy squeaked. “I’ll take care of your plates. In the meantime,” another flash and she looked above the table. When you looked up your eyes widened, seeing a small mistletoe floating above you. “Why don’t the lovely couple share a Christmas kiss?”

“Oh.” You stuttered, “we aren’t dating, actually.” Daring not to look at Changbin, you locked eyes with the fairy, watching her face drop into a very dissatisfied frown.

“Too bad, you guys look cute together.” She pouted, glitter cascading slowly down her wings as she looked at Changbin and back at you. Her eyebrows raised, like she knew something and your face heated up. “Okay, I get it.” She winked at you, “Have a fun rest of your Christmas.” 

As soon as she had appeared she was gone, the plates and mistletoe following after her. You tried to stall looking back at Changbin, in fear of your face giving your new feelings away, but you figured prolonging anything would only make you look more suspicious.

Changbin’s cheeks were red, eyes downcasted and foot tapping softly on the floor. It wasn’t enough to cause an echo, but enough that the sound travelled the short distance between you. He looked adorable, and if you had enough confidence you would have leant over the table and kissed him right there. But unfortunately you didn’t, so you settled with clearing your throat, that sound echoing through the room.

“So, don’t you need to go tend to the plants?” You had the time table memorized at that point, knowing that after breakfast you would walk with him to the Herbology room, doing the same routine over and over. It would normally have gotten boring, but just being with Changbin made everything interesting. 

“Yeah.” Changbin looked up at you for the first time since the fairy came and took your plates. His hair was splayed across his forehead, nearly covering his eyes, and you almost commented on the fact that he should get a haircut soon but you also noticed just how good his longer hair looked.

“Okay, let’s go.” You tried brushing off the heat sizzling up in you, and the cold air from the cracks in the doors did well at cooling off your burning face. When you stood up you extended your hand, waiting just an extra beat longer than normal for Changbin to slip his hand in yours. 

Rather than awkward, the walk towards the Herbology was filled with tension. Changbin’s hand was sweaty, and neither of you chose to acknowledge it as you weaved through the moving stairs and winding hallways. It wasn’t a long walk to the Herbology room, but when you finally reached the door you disconnected your hands, watching as he unlocked the room. 

His shoulders were slumped as he made his way to the water sprayer, filling it up and then checking each plant carefully. You observed him, his present weighing heavily in your pocket. What if he thought it was weird? There were doubts in the back of your head, but you had already gotten it and seeing the way Changbin looked at each plant, like they were his children, with such care and love, you knew he would like it no matter if thought it was weird.

“Hey Changbin?” You called out to him, the present being held by your two hands behind your back. 

“Yeah?” He said, turning around after setting down a potted plant. His eyes moved to your arms behind your back, eyebrows raised in confusion and a small hint of alarm. “What’s behind your back?”

Instead of answering his question, you giggled, fingers drumming on the small box holding his present. As soon as you were standing directly in front of him, you took the box out from behind your back. Under the lights you got a better look, your lips quirking up into an apologetic smile.

“I tried to wrap it myself but it didn’t go as well as I planned, I definitely fucked it up just a little bit.” Despite it looking as pieced together as a jigsaw puzzle, you were quite proud of yourself for covering each inch of the box. You watched as Changbin took the box out of your hand gently, looking at each and every angle.

“It doesn’t look that bad. It means a lot more that you did it yourself.” Changbin smiled, fingers playing along the edges of the wrapping paper taped on nearly every side. A breathy laugh escaped him as he tried to pull the wrapping paper. “I think you did too good, I can’t get the damn thing off.” 

After a few seconds of struggling with the paper he ripped the top off enough to find the box underneath. A surprised look crossed his face as he slowly removed the top. There was a moment of observing what was inside before he took it out, holding it up to the light. His mouth was slightly hanging open, eyes wide and scouring every little plant that greeted him from inside for snowglobe.

“It’s a snowglobe, except it doesn’t have snow, it has plants.” You explained, pointing to the small sprouts in the soil of the snowglobe. “I figured you could have something to look at when you can’t come here.”

Before you could say anything else, a weight was pressed against you, hands immediately coming around you and resting on your back. Changbin was hugging you, and you quickly relaxed into his arms. He was much warmer than you expected, like a portable heater. The hand that wasn’t holding his present pressed flat on your back, slowly rubbing in circles.

“Thank you.” Changbin repeated over and over. His face was squished into your neck and you felt his breath on your collarbone, a shiver running through you even though you were far from cold. Your own arms wrapped around him, palms holding onto his shoulders and you could feel his muscles moving underneath your hand when you ran it up his spine. 

You didn’t want to let go, but Changbin pulled away first, holding up his plant globe once again to the light. His eyes shone as he scanned each little plant that had shown itself in the couple of days it had been in your room. It was like he didn’t believe it, and you smiled at how happy he looked. 

“So you like it?” Your voice was hopeful, and Changbin’s eyes immediately snapped to yours.

“Of course! I love it.” His smile was everything you could have ever hoped, all the previous worry and nervousness melting off of you. “Why wouldn’t I like it?”

“Well,” when you thought back to your worries, you realized that this was Changbin you were talking about, the sweetest Hufflepuff you had ever seen, even if he liked to break rules sometimes. Hell, he was softer than Seungmin. “I was scared you would think I was weird or something. I mean, we’ve only known each other for two weeks.” Your face heated up voicing your worries to him, but you knew he wouldn't make fun of you for it.

“You’re not weird at all. We’re friends, right?” You nodded, fighting the frown at the word friends. “Then you shouldn’t feel weird. I love it! I’ve been wanting to get a plant for my room but it’s not allowed, this is the perfect substitute.” Changbin’s smile widened again, eyes going back to scanning each and every inch of the plant globe. 

“Good, I’m glad you like it.” The light from outside was slowly dimming, midday already passed and evening creeping up behind it. A bright ray of sun shone directly through the clouds, aiming directly for Changbin’s plant globe. It seemed to feed all the plants in it, and you almost gasped when you saw some of them start to grow taller right before your eyes.

The next hour was spent helping Changbin check on the plants, and within the past week and a half you had learned almost everything you could about all of the ones in the room. How to care for them, how to clean them (at least, the ones you could touch without getting harmed or killed), how to tell if they were in need of more soil or water and how to handle them without setting them off, specifically the mandrakes. 

As soon as you were done checking on them all, you looked towards Changbin, who was still admiring his plant globe every minute. The last remaining light from outside illuminated his features, and you were in awe at just how handsome he looked. 

“Can we go to the Astronomy Tower?” Suddenly Changbin looked at you, asking the question with a nervous hint to his voice. When you nodded, he smiled, and he slowly set his globe in the box you had put it in originally.

Leading him to the tower, you walked in silence, the paintings around you finally on the same page as they all sang the same Christmas song, albeit in varying volumes and pitches. At least it was the same lyrics, you thought as you walked beside Changbin.

Your feet quickly struck the floor, a sense of excitement washing over you because you knew certain stars would be better visible tonight and you couldn’t want to tell Changbin about them. Whenever you would talk about the stars to him, you found his eyes always following your finger as you pointed in the sky. Sometimes he would get it and sometimes he wouldn’t, but just seeing the stars reflected back into his eyes made your feelings for him just dig itself a little bit deeper.

After the tantalus walk up the stairs, you settled for a different spot than before to look at the stars, picking one just a little bit closer to the stairs. Sitting down, you let go of Changbin’s hand, opting instead to start pointing up at all the stars you recognized that you hadn’t yet talked about with him. 

However before you could go very far into your explanation about Pleiades and it’s mythology, you noticed Changbin looking over to the side. “Are you okay?” You asked, your hand moving to rest on his shoulder.

Instead of answering you, Changbin turned back around, his hands clasped around something and before you could ask him anything he interrupted. “Close your eyes.” When your face morphed into one of slight fear and worry, he elaborated. “Just trust me, I have a surprise for you.”

You had trusted him that whole time, so you listened, closing your eyes and relying on your other senses to try and tell what was going on around you. To your right, where Changbin was, you heard a slight rustling and then the sound of fabric on wood. You felt a familiar warmth envelop you and then the feeling of two hands in front of your face.

Trusting him, you didn’t freak out, letting it all happen and suddenly you felt something very cold hit your chest right between your collarbones. Curiosity filled your senses but you waited for Changbin to give you a noise of confirmation to open your eyes. When a small “okay” came from your right you squinted at him, nose scrunched and you were nervous to look down. 

You couldn’t see much of it, but what you did was beautiful. It was a small charm, almost like Saturn itself. There was one dark orb in the middle surrounded by two rings and the one on the inside spun slightly when you moved. It was breathtaking, and you felt your jaw quite literally drop, eyes widening and face burning. 

“Wow.” Was all you could say as you watched Changbin grow more and more visibly nervous. “I love it.” You said, slipping your hand underneath it and admiring the way the night sky seemed to make it shine even brighter.

“That’s not all it does.” Changbin’s hand ruffled his hair, eyes still not leaving the necklace resting almost perfectly directly underneath your collarbones. “Stand up.” His hand was extended towards you and you took it, letting him pull you up before taking out his wand.

One of his hands stayed clasped in yours, the other holding his wand and you stayed staring into his eyes before he was the first one to break it. The tip of his wand tapped your necklace, “astra lumora” he whispered softly and you gasped when immediately you were surrounded by stars. 

Above, below, all around you were bright sparks of stars, and you found yourself looking everywhere you could to find you were quite literally standing among the stars. It was almost as if you were floating in space with nothing around you but the gas balls. 

“This,” your eyes continued to wander before finally settling on Changbin’s bright ones. “Is beautiful. I love it so much.” You couldn’t tear your eyes away from Changbin’s. Despite being in what felt like a dream, sitting among the stars, you were grounded by his eyes on yours. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” A smile flickered on Changbin’s face, and your gaze swapped from his eyes to his lips. There wasn’t really anything else you were thinking about except kissing him, and you decided, fuck it, what better time to confess your rapidly escalating feelings for the Hufflepuff in front of you than while you were surrounded by stars?

“I’m thinking about how much I really want to kiss you.” You were so close that you only needed to whisper it, watching your cold breath escaping as a small cloud in the air. It was going to be heartbreaking if he didn’t feel the same, but it was okay, because at the end of the break you would go back to being just a Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, not interacting or talking. 

“Ask me the same thing.” Changbin’s thumb rubbed your hand softly, eyes locked on your lips.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Your voice was barely audible, the hand that wasn’t clasped in his moving up his arm to eventually rest on the back of his neck. The hairs there were sticking up and whether that was because of the cold or your proximity, you weren’t sure.

Changbin took another step closer to you, your nose brushing his. His wand was gone, tucked away into his robe as his hand wrapped around you, resting on the small of your back. “I’ve been thinking the same thing for a while.”

Instead of saying anything else, you lean forward, eyes closing. The feeling of Changbin’s lips on yours could only be described as soft. He wasn’t too hard, perhaps afraid you would break into a thousand specs, blending in with the stars surrounding you. While you did feel like you could do that, Changbin’s hand on your back and the prickly feeling of the hair on the back of his neck grounded you into reality.

Yeah, you were kissing Seo Changbin, the same guy that you didn’t want to associate with at all after learning he would also be staying behind for break. The same guy that got too excited talking about plants and had always kept his hand clasped in yours. The same guy that gave you his scarf when you forgot yours and never once asked for it back.

You definitely had no intention of giving it back now. 

Changbin tilted his head, his hand leaving yours and joining his other one on your back. Your free hand also coming up to settle on his neck, thumb tracing a vein that told you his heartbeat was pounding.

It was effortless, kissing Changbin, and you found yourself thinking that it could definitely become a habit. He was like a drug, pulling you into a sense of euphoria and relaxation that had your knees buckling. All of your senses molded into one and you weren’t sure where you started and Changbin ended, or whether you two had just slowly combined to create one bright star to join the infinite others out there.

All you knew was that Seo Changbin was there, he was kissing you, and you could spend the rest of your life stuck in his embrace and you would be the happiest person in the universe.

When you finally pulled back from the kiss, you were met with Changbin’s sparkling eyes, smile stretching from ear to ear. His cheeks were slowly gaining color, his eyes never leaving yours and you were entranced. Leaning forward you left another soft peck on his lips, a small giggle directed at the ground when you rested your forehead on his shoulder. 

“Wow.” You said for the second time.

“I know.” Changbin’s thumbs pressed a little harder into your back, palms smoothing out over your muscles and pulling you closer to him if that was even possible at that point. “So,” He started, hands now moved to your waist and the warmth you had always felt when you were around him surrounded and filled every inch of you. “Where do we go from here?”

Where do you go from there? Surely you wanted to be with him, even if you had sworn off dating in favor of studying. You could have both, right? You would force yourself to have both if it meant having Changbin with you.

“Well,” Your hands moved to Changbin’s hair, softly pulling and stroking any inch of skin you could reach. “I like you, a lot.”

“Duh.” Changbin countered, laughing when you smacked his shoulder lightly. “Okay, okay. I like you a lot too.” Although his laugh had dissipated, the gentle smile still remained.

“Do you think we could make this, like, official?” Your voice stuttered a bit, and you weren’t sure how to ask, you had only been asked out once and that was to the Yule Ball.

“You want me to be your boyfriend?” A smirk played on Changbin’s face, his shoulder ready to take another hit but you just nodded, the yellow fabric of his scarf brushing against your hand as you played with a loose string.

“As long as you want to be my boyfriend.”

“Of course I do.” Instead of saying anything else, Changbin sealed his statement with a kiss, his lips cold after being separated from yours for so long. 

After you pulled away a long yawn ripped through you, the darkness of the night pulling at your eyelids and wanting you to join so many other people in dream land. It all felt like a dream, though, and you were convinced that when you laid down to go to sleep that you would just wake up. 

“We should get some sleep.” Changbin said, pulling out his wand and tapping your necklace twice, watching as the stars all got sucked back into the dark orb. “There’s only a week left until break ends.”

You let a pout fall onto your face, not wanting to go back to classes and the bombardment of students. You just wanted to spend all the time you could with Changbin before you were forced to sit at different tables and only see each other at certain times. 

“Okay. I guess we should.” You agreed, however, knowing that although you were the Ravenclaw, Changbin sounded much more logical at that moment.

Your head stayed on Changbin’s shoulder as you walked back to your Common Room, your hand still grasped tightly in his. Occasionally you leaned just a little bit closer, pecking the corner of his mouth or his cheek or his neck, whatever you could reach. When you did that, Changbin would turn his head towards you, letting you land a kiss on where you wanted to land one the most, his lips.

“Oh look at them!” One of the pictures whispered as you walked by, and you watched as they all followed your movements, soft whispers being exchanged. You ignored them, just wanting to stay with your hand in Changbin’s and his warmth surrounding you.

As soon as you arrived at your Common Room you pulled apart, though Changbin’s hands just wandered to your waist as you solved the riddle, listening to the click of the lock opening for you. When you turned around Changbin’s lips were on yours, a soft hum coming from his throat. You were content with just staying like that, but paintings eventually gossiped, and you definitely didn’t want the professors finding out what you were up to during break.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” The hands on your waist were distracting, but you kept thinking that the faster you went to sleep the quicker you could see him in the morning again.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Changbin confirmed, not making any move to leave. His hands stayed in place, fingers tapping lightly. “Hey, Y/N?” After a few moments of silence he called your name, stepping a little bit closer to you and the warmth started to intensify. When you made a noise in response, you saw his eyes flick to your lips. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Of course, Binnie. You don’t have to ask.” Chucking you walked up in front of him, waiting for him to lean in and give you what you knew you both wanted, but he didn’t. You opened your eyes, shooting him a confused look, eyebrows raised when you saw his mouth gaped open. “Are you okay?”

His cheeks lit up almost red and you found it cute that he was still shy. “You, uh, you called me Binnie.” A small smile appeared on his face, nose scrunched up slightly and before you could ask any other questions, like if it was okay that you called him that, he continued. “I mean, I like it, that nickname. It’s cute.” He elaborated, quickly leaning forward and landing a kiss on your awaiting lips. It was quick, quicker than you had wanted it to be but it was already dark and you knew how bad you got when you didn’t get enough sleep, so you relented.

“Well, you’re cute.” You laughed when Changbin rolled his eyes, turning around and proceeding to start to walk away.

He didn’t get far though before he turned back to you, “Good night, baby.”

Then it was your turn for your face to heat up, a soft, “good night” following him as he walked away. You waited until he was fully gone to shut the door, a small squeal leaving you. Jumping up and down you ran to your room, launching yourself onto the bed and burying yourself beneath the covers.

“Oh my god that actually happened.” You whispered to yourself after getting comfortable in bed. The comforter was enough to keep you warm from the winter outside, but you noticed nothing could compare to the warmth that covered you from head to toe when you were near Changbin.

As sleep took over, a smile fell on your face when you thought about Changbin and his messy hair and soft lips and dorky demeanor and how you couldn’t believe that he actually felt the same.

viii.

The next few days were filled with what you normally did: studying. Unlike the other times, however, you were much more cuddly with Changbin. Laying on one of the couches in the library, you would curl into a ball on his lap, the book open as you lazily read aloud. Changbin’s hand never left your back, fingers massaging your muscles, the occasional kiss being pressed to your forehead or cheek.

It was the last day of break. Tomorrow everyone would file in, the noise overwhelmingly different to the silence as you walked through the halls. It was bittersweet, you wanted your friends to come back and classes to start again, but after having been by Changbin’s side for almost the whole break, you didn’t want to go back.

You met Changbin in the Great Hall, smiling when you saw your chair moved again to be right next to his. The Christmas tree was still up, though you knew it would start to get taken down later that day. The fairies looked down at you two with a glint in their eyes. 

“Good morning, Binnie.” Sliding into the chair, you looked over at Changbin. His hair was still messy from sleep, cheeks just the slightest bit pink from where it had been pressed into the pillow. He gave you a sleepy grin, puckering his lips and waiting for you to catch on. You leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. A loud squeal came from the tree, the fairies whispering in an annoyingly shrill almost silent voice.

“Morning, baby.” Changbin responded, fingers playing with the edge of your scarf, noticing that it was still the yellow one that he had given you the first day you met. “Have I told you how much I like seeing you wear this?”

“No, but at least I know now.” Although the scarf covered the chain of your necklace, you could still see the glint of the dark orb resting right underneath the yellow fabric. You could still smell his distinct odor of cinnamon and pine needles, a scent that you had come to associate with the warmth that spread through you, but it was fading. “You’re going to have to take it back soon.” You said as your plate of breakfast waited in front of you.

Changbin was already eating, his cheeks full of pancakes and he turned to you, mouth almost dropped open and food almost spilling out. He took a moment to chew and swallow before frowning. “Why?”

“It’s starting to not smell like you anymore.” You said nonchalantly, picking apart your pancake and beginning to eat. A soft chuckle came from next to you, and before you could turn your head to question why he laughed, his lips connected with your cheek.

“You’re cute, baby.” Was all he said, going back to eating and you eventually followed, a smile and shake of your head preceding it.

After you had finished eating, you found yourself in the same place as the previous few days, strolling back into the library, one of your hands gripped tightly in Changbin’s and the other holding onto a History book that you found stuffed in one of your drawers. How it got there, you would never know, but you knew when you were done skimming it and eventually snapping it shut when you got tired of the boring history terms that it would go right back to where you found it. 

You set the book on the table, letting go of Changbin’s hand and walking down the aisles in search of another book, one that had been recommended by the Divination teacher to help with her class. Having been in the library almost every day for the last three weeks, you knew where more things were, but this one you couldn’t get your hands on. Surely it was there, your teacher wouldn’t recommend it if she knew it wasn’t.

Your search was interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around you, warm breath making you shiver. “Hey.” Changbin said simply, pulling you back into him. “It’s cold without you.” You could feel the pout through his voice, and you turned around in his embrace.

“I was just looking for this Divination book, but I can’t find it. I think it disappeared.” You looked up the aisle, trying to remember where it could be but coming up blank.

“The OWL for Divination is easy, all you have to do is look in the bottom of a cup and tell her what you see.” Changbin explained, and he wasn’t wrong, your teacher did say there was no wrong answers, so surely everyone would pass, but you couldn’t help to feel like somehow you would see something wrong or that by some sort of cruel stroke of misfortune she would fail you. 

“Besides, you’re too smart to worry about failing, you’ll probably get the top score in everything.” Changbin closed the small distance between you, his lips connecting with your forehead. In turn, you closed your eyes, smiling at the feeling of his thumbs pressing small circles into your back and cool breath fanning over your face. “If anything,” he started as he pulled away, “I need you to tutor me.” 

“I guess I can do that.” You wriggled out of Changbin’s grasp, walking back to the couch and grabbing the book you had set there earlier. Changbin closely followed, sitting on the couch and holding out his arms for you to fit into. 

You sat with your back resting on the arm of the couch, Changbin’s legs comfortably underneath you and his arms snaked around you. The book sat on your legs, one of his hands coming to play with the pages when he saw fit. Instead of exchanging any other words, you started reading a chapter, trying not to let your face heat up when you looked up to see Changbin’s eyes trained on you. 

It wasn’t like he had much else to look at, it was just snow and trees outside and the endless rows of books inside, but it was more of the look he had rather than the fact that he was looking at you. A soft grin stretched his lips, tilting up at one side. His eyes shifted from your eyes to your necklace - that you had yet to take off - and eventually settling on your lips. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” You asked quietly, watching as his cheeks began to gain a bit more color to them. 

“You’re just really pretty.” He shrugged, eyes falling down to the book in your lap. Instead of trying to read sideways, he resorted to tracing the lines of the map at the top of the page.

“I think you’re pretty too, Binnie.” Your lips found his nose, chuckling when his face turned into a deeper red. “But we really should try and get some studying in, there’s only one more day left of break.”

His face morphed into a deep frown, eyebrows tugging into the center of his face. You knew what he was thinking, and you mirrored the same sentiment. After everyone came back you would be forced to sit at your house tables, looking at each other across the Great Hall and wishing you were able to slide in the seat next to him. Reading his mind, you raised your hand up to his cheek, your thumb tracing his cheekbone. His skin was still warm underneath your fingers.

“I don’t want break to end.” Changbin’s frown turned into a pout, head tilting forward to rest on your shoulder.

“I don’t either but it’s not like we won’t ever see each other again.” Your hand moved from his cheek to his hair, smoothing down strands that had stuck up into the air. 

“I know.” He sat back up, the pout still deeply etched onto his face. “I’m gonna miss just us being here, though. We’ve only had a week alone to be cute and coupley.” You laughed at that, and his pout only stuck out more. “It’s not funny.” He dragged out the last syllable.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re just cute.” You countered, looking back down at the book in your lap. “We’ll still be able to be ‘cute’ and ‘coupley’, don’t worry. I think we should get back to studying though, how about we have a quiz?” You suggested, flicking through the book until you got to a section you had read to him before. 

So you read a section out loud again, watching out of the corner of your eye as Changbin looked up at the air, mouthing what you could only assume was dates and names to try and remember them. As soon as you finished the passage you turned your attention to Changbin, finding him still peering into the ceiling.

“What happened to the classes at Hogwarts in 1965?” You asked, knowing that you just went through it.

Changbin thought for a moment, his fingers drumming on your waist in an attempt to come up with an answer. “Oh!” His eyes lit up, a smile on his face as he turned to you. “The roof fell through from the heavy snowfall and so classes were canceled for a while to fix it.” 

You nodded, leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to his lips, his reward for getting the question right. You continued on with your questioning, rewarding him with a kiss every time he got one right. 

Eventually he began to drift off, his head bobbing up and down as he tried to think of an answer but instead was met with a soft tap to the forehead and you telling him to “wake up”. It wasn’t until the fourth time of falling asleep and being woken up by you that he gave up.

“Fuck it.” He said, tapping your back in a signal for you to get off his lap for just a moment. Changbin turned so his head was resting against the arm of the couch, grabbing a pillow and pulling it so it cushioned his head. Falling back, he nestled into the couch with a sigh. Before his eyes closed fully, however, his arms raised, hands making a grabby motion and you knew you weren’t going to convince him to study anymore so you relented.

Setting the book on the table, you walked forward and squeaked when Changbin’s hands immediately grabbed your waist, pulling you down quickly. A grunt was released when your head hit his chest, the sound of his heartbeat the only thing you could hear besides your breath. He was comfortable, just the right amount of hard muscle and plush skin and you melted into his embrace. 

“Let’s just take a nap.” Changbin suggested from above you, his chin resting on the top of your head, although it was more of a statement than a suggestion. His voice vibrated through his body and you could feel instead of hear his voice.

You didn’t reply, instead opting for snuggling closer into him, the edges of your robe draping over you and creating a makeshift blanket. Though you didn’t need much else to warm you, as Changbin’s body heat was enough to make you feel warmth from your head to feet. His hands settled on your back, thumbs massaging your tense muscles gently. The pressure seemed to let off eventually, and you looked up to see he was fast asleep, mouth slightly open and eyes closed. You weren’t sure how long you had laid there, but it wasn’t long until you were following Changbin into dreamland.

“Baby.” You were awoken by Changbin’s voice in your ear, his hands going back to their normal place of tracing shapes on your back. His heartbeat beneath your ear was soniferous, causing your eyes to stay closed and for you to almost fall back into slumber. That was, until he said your name a little louder, his hands shaking your body that was lying fully on top of his. “Y/N, it’s time to get up, baby.”

“Don’t wanna.” Your voice was distorted due to your cheek being pressed into the junction between his neck and shoulder. During your sleep you nuzzled even closer to Changbin, your nose pressed against his neck and lips close to his collarbone. You pressed a quick kiss there, a lazy smile floating up when the boy below you squirmed. “You’re comfy.” Going back to your previous position, you tried to ignore all other tries to get you to wake up, only wanting to be cuddled closer and to fall back asleep.

“It’s nighttime and although there isn’t anybody here, I’m sure some of the ghosts will do patrols.” Changbin spoke softly, “And I don’t want us to get in trouble the first day after break.”

Although you really couldn’t have cared less about the ghosts, they rarely walked through the library anyways, some citing memories from their deaths in the history books and others just not bothering because who would be in the library this late, you lifted your head. You were met with pink cheeks, hooded eyelids and a seemingly drunken smile.

“Did you just wake up too?” Your voice came out more stable that time, yet you still felt the small hands of the sandman trying to tempt you again. When Changbin nodded you stayed silent, just admiring the boy laid out in front of you. One of your hands rested on his chest to keep you upright and you pushed yourself forward to kiss both of his cheeks. 

“We should head back to our dorms, I don’t wanna get caught, especially not by the Fat Friar or the Grey Lady.” Changbin moved his hands from your back to your waist, helping you in sitting up on the couch. He, in turn, tucked his legs under you and stood up. “I’ll help you back if you want?”

Sleep sounded nice, but sleeping while also cuddled into Changbin sounded even better. So you shook your head, hand sliding down Changbin’s arm to find his hand, not needing vision to fit your fingers together perfectly. “No,” You stood up, squeezing his hand slightly. “I want to stay with you.”

Changbin’s cheeks bloomed red again, a shy smile and quick ruffle of his hair coming and going before he looked back up to you. “Okay, okay. Do you want to sleep in my Common Room or yours?” The fact that he was willing to risk getting in trouble for you had your heart clenching.

“I’ve always wanted to see what the Hufflepuff Common Room looked like.” You said with a smile, almost jumping for joy when he began walking in the direction of his Common Room.

You swung your connected hands between you, an excited skip in your step knowing that you wouldn’t have to cocoon yourself in your blanket to keep warm. The thought came though, that you wouldn’t be able to do that when break ended, and a frown etched itself into your face. The frown stayed there until you got to the door to the Common Room, when your lips straightened into a line.

Changbin looked over at you, hand immediately finding some switch behind a barrel that sat next to the door. You knew there was some sort of code or button or something to get into the room, Seungmin had told you a story of his first time trying to find it, but you didn’t know it was there. A smile was quickly flashed to him as you tried to not let him know what you were thinking.

As soon as the door opened, however, you forgot everything you had been thinking about, a loud gasp leaving your lips. 

You hadn’t ever seen the Hufflepuff Common Room, just getting a picture in your head from what Seungmin had described it as, but wow, did it look way better than anything Seungmin could have said. 

It had a low ceiling made of what looked like oak wood, with a simple chandelier hanging directly in the middle. The light from said chandelier reached every nook and cranny in the room, making everything bright and giving you a rush of energy. You understood why Hufflepuffs always seemed to be smiling. Scattered throughout the room were comfy looking chairs and couches, though there was a small circle of furniture around the fireplace, which was always slowly burning. 

The whole room was shrouded in a light yellow color, from the rounded walls to the fabric of the furniture. A soft orange spilled from the fireplace area, and you were immediately drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. 

“Woah.” You were still observing everything around you as Changbin led you to one of the couches by the fire. Small potted plants sat on tables along with small stacks of books. It was unusual that they had plants in the Common Room but weren’t allowed any in their private rooms, and you were glad you got Changbin the plant globe so he could have them by his bedside.

“It’s not much, but it’s comfy.” Changbin shrugged, sitting down in the middle of the muted yellow couch, pulling you down so you sat on his lap.

“What do you mean?” You continued looking around, seeing the thick layer of snow outside the windows. “It’s so relaxing to sit in here, I could fall asleep right away.”

“Well let’s do that then.” The hand that was clasped in yours let go, moving you so you laid in the same position as in the library. The couch you were laying on was much larger than the previous one, with much softer looking pillows. Not that you needed a pillow, you had Changbin who was like your own personal firm but soft pillow.

After a little bit of moving you settled with your nose pressed back into the column of Changbin’s neck, one of your hands sitting on his chest. As you laid there, you traced small shapes into his skin, chuckling when he started to shake. “I’m ticklish.” He had stated as an excuse, but you continued the small touches, only scaling back slightly because the feeling of his muscles under his shirt was comforting, more so than the color of the room or the lighting hitting the walls.

“Goodnight, baby.” was the last thing you heard before you let yourself fall into sleep once again.

viiii.

You woke up to the sounds of furniture being moved. It was extremely loud, echoing through the soon to be full hallways and traveling out into the snow. Instead of jumping up and exploring the noise, you settled in Changbin’s arms, not wanting to get up and face the reality of the day.

His hands were loosely resting on your hips, no longer adding pressure or drawing invisible pictures. You could feel his chest raising and lowering with each deep breath he took. When you lifted your head up you noticed the same pink tint to his cheeks and you kissed each of them, trying hard not to wake him up just yet. 

The noise continued on, and you decided to get up, your eyes already ridding themselves of the Sandman’s dust and your mind already ready to start the day that you had been dreading since the beginning of break: the end of break. 

You slowly lifted yourself off of Changbin, putting your hands on either side of his waist and swinging your feet to the floor. Luckily the carpet swallowed most of the noise of your footsteps as you walked out of the room. You thought about what would happen when Changbin woke up and you weren’t there, but you also knew that he would know where to find you.

The walk to the Great Hall seemed longer than any other time you’ve had to do it, and you looked on at the paintings, some of them not in their frames and others posed perfectly in anticipation for everyone coming back to the castle. Once you got to the hard stone of the hallway floors, your footsteps echoed underneath the ongoing noise. It came to a crescendo when you reached the doors to the Great Hall, finding what you expected.

The giant Christmas tree that once stood in the middle of the room was gone, the fairies that once danced on its branches stood on the lanterns hanging from the ceiling. They held their hands up like puppet masters, and you realized they were the ones moving the long tables back into the Hall. Everything was being turned back into normal, and while you were happy to go back to the routine, you also knew you would miss being one of the only people in the castle. 

“You scared me.” A voice came from beside you, but you weren’t shocked, only a nod coming as a response. Changbin stood beside you, his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you into him. “It seems like just yesterday I saw you eating with your friends and now here we are.” His eyes never left the moving tables, but yours trailed to his face. Had he known of you for that long?

Before you could ask, however, Changbin smiled. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while.” He shrugged, looking at you. The noise had calmed down, but he still leaned closer as if he was trying to talk over it. “I just never thought you would know who I was, so I kinda gave up.”

The scraping of the tables on the wood floor stopped, and you looked to see everything settled into place, just as it was before. You walked towards the Ravenclaw table, feeling Changbin’s presence next to you as you sat down.

“Well here we are now.” You said simply, leaning your head on your hand and peering sideways at Changbin. 

“Yep, here we are now.” Changbin stared at the Hufflepuff table in front of him. “So,” he started, not switching his focus from the table. “Are you okay if my friends know about us? You don’t have to meet them right away, they tend to come pretty late back from break anyways.”

The statement was kind of obvious, you noted. There was no reason for you to hide your relationship, if anything, your friends would be ecstatic to see you had met, and gotten very acquainted with, Changbin. Especially Jisung. Okay, maybe Jisung could be in the dark for a little bit. You weren’t ready to say he was right.

“Of course, I don’t think there’s any reason to hide it, do you?” The hand on your waist squeezed softly, almost in reassurance. “As long as you’re okay with my friends knowing? I mean, one of them is a Hufflepuff, you might know him, and the other two are very,” You paused, trying to find the right word to describe Luna and Jisung, “interesting.” 

“Of course, I want them to know about us. My friends are all Gryffindors, three of them. One was my lab partner in Potions, he’s two years younger than me, and then another one is a year younger and the other is a year older.” Changbin counted off his friends, not giving much detail except what year they were in.

“That’s an interesting combination.” You chuckled, trying to think of any Gryffindors you knew of. Having nothing come to mind, you gave up, knowing you would see them soon. “There’s not much more time left until everyone arrives.” There was a sad note to your voice.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin smiled as he asked it, his full face now on display as he turned his body to face yours. Instead of responding, you just leaned forward, connecting your lips and letting them rest there for a moment. Changbin was taken aback, a soft, “okay” mumbled against your lips before he kissed back. The hand that wasn’t on your waist was cupping your cheek, while your two hands rested on his shoulders, thumbs pressing into his collarbones. 

Your lips moved together in sync for who knows how long. Time didn’t matter when you were near Changbin, all that mattered was that he was there and that hopefully he would be there for a long time. You lost yourself in him, only focusing on the soft cotton of his robe underneath your fingers, the smooth glide of his lips on yours, and the way your skin heated up where he was touching you. 

The sound of a train horn made you pull away, your face hot and you were sure you mimicked Changbin’s red cheeks. You smiled at him, letting your fingers trail to the back of his neck and play with the short hairs at the nape. Landing one last kiss on the tip of his nose, you turned to the door, watching as some students already started piling in and sitting at their house table. 

You heard Jisung before you even saw him, his loud voice talking about something you couldn’t quite distinguish, but you knew it was him. Then you saw his hair, now a light blond, walking along with blue hair, Luna. Standing up, you grabbed Changbin’s hand, giving it a light squeeze and preparing yourself for the bombardment of hugs and questions you would get.

“Y/N!” The loud scream came from Jisung, startling the still small amount of students in the Hall. He came running up to you, causing you to let go of Changbin’s hand and use both of yours to brace yourself for the body crashing into you. 

It doesn’t mean you were ready for the body crashing into you, though. Almost falling over, you wrapped your arms around Jisung, a large smile making your cheeks hurt. There weren’t any words being exchanged, except for nearly silent “hello”s as Luna also came up behind Jisung and joined in on the hug. 

When Jisung pulled away, his eyes trailed from your face to Changbin standing next to you, his hand hovering over the small of your back. You said nothing, letting Jisung put the pieces together. You knew he figured it out when his mouth hung open.

“So now I know what you were doing instead of reading my owl messages and replying to me!” Jisung held your shoulders, shaking you slightly. “And I told you so!” He said the last part a bit louder, and you felt your face heat up. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure. You said something.” You rolled your eyes.

“I said a lot of stuff, all of which seemed to be correct by the looks of things.” Jisung stared down at Changbin’s hand on your back before following the hand to find it’s owner staring at him, a small smile on his face. “Oh, sorry I’m rude. I know you but you probably don’t know me, I’m Jisung, Y/N’s best friend and I was right about you two.”

“I’m Luna!” Luna said from behind Jisung, her hands holding her cage with her pet owl. 

“Nice to meet you guys. And you were right about what?” Changbin asked Jisung, and you whipped around to him, trying to tell him to not ask about anything Jisung said, but it was already too late.

“I found out you were staying behind along with our lovely friend here, and me, being the amazing lovebird I am, said she should have some fun instead of just spending it all studying.” Jisung explained, clapping at himself and you shook your head laughing. Luna came up behind Jisung, nodding along to everything he said.

“I think the only reason why we’re dating is because you weren’t here to be my wingman anymore.” You jabbed his side with your elbow. “Can we sit down? You guys look tired from the train ride.”

Jisung and Luna nodded, turning around to walk to the other side of the table. While they did that you turned to Changbin, face heating up when you saw he was smiling at you. “You talked about me before we met?”

“Don’t get so flattered, Jisung was exaggerating just a little bit.” You pouted, sitting down and leaning into his side.

“Even if he was exaggerating, I think it’s cute.” Changbin commented, kissing your temple and watching Jisung and Luna weave through students, now followed by Seungmin with very messy hair and an annoyed look on his face. “We can meet my friends later if you want.”

“Sure, that sounds good.” Your head stayed on Changbin’s shoulder as your friends finally sat in front of you. No one said anything at first, but the expressions on their faces told all. Jisung, of course, had a very I told you so face on, one eyebrow raised and a smirk playing on his lips. Luna was looking between you and Changbin and smiling, while Seungmin’s mouth hung open at the sight of the boy sitting next to you. “What happened to you?” You questioned Seungmin, watching as his face turned from one of surprise to one of annoyance.

“My sister’s cat decided to fall asleep on my head and then my alarm didn’t go off so I didn’t have time to fix my messed up hair before I had to catch the train.” Seungmin shook his head, trying desperately with his hands to smooth down his hair before giving up with a huff.

“Just use a spell.” Luna shrugged, running a hand through her blue hair. As she did so, the colors seemed to change slightly, and you realized she must have used a new magic dye to turn her hair even more colors under different lights. 

“It’s okay, we don’t go back to classes until tomorrow so I can just take a shower when I get back to the Common Room.” Seungmin shrugged, waiting a moment before directing his attention to Changbin. “So, I’m assuming you two are a thing?”

Changbin just nodded, the arm around your waist tightening while you just scooted closer to him. “Yeah, she couldn’t resist my Hufflepuff charms.” Your arm came around to lightly smack his stomach, all of your friends laughing as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah I couldn’t resist the plant nerd.” You patted his stomach where you hit him just seconds earlier. All your friends laughed again, and you felt a soft vibration of Changbin chuckling as well. You were so glad your friends liked him and got along with him, and you were glad that you had decided to give him a chance.

You looked up at Changbin, finding his nose scrunched up in a fake pout and you gave him a quick peck on the cheek to try and satiate him. When you pulled away you saw Jisung push his palms into his cheeks, a loud “awe” sounding throughout the room as he looked between you. Although your cheeks lit up, you stuck your tongue out at Jisung. “You’re just mad I didn’t need you as my wingman.”

“If I was your wingman you two would have been together for a year by now.” Jisung dodged your hand coming across the table, holding his hands up in fake defeat. “Well you are very cute together, like I said before break but of course some people just don’t appreciate genius.” He shook his head, looking down at his hands and then leaning back to pet his owl in its cage. 

You decided not to argue anymore, instead just listening to your friends tell their stories of Christmas spent with family. Changbin’s hand stayed firmly on your waist, his cheek resting on your shoulder. Sometimes he would interject with a statement or a joke and you smiled at how perfect he fit into the group. 

The warmth that you noticed at the beginning of the break when you first saw Changbin was still there, but instead of a burning heat it was a comforting warmth that filled your whole body to the tips of your fingers and toes. It was like you didn’t have to worry about being cold ever again when Changbin was around, even if you weren’t touching him, just him looking at you made you begin to heat up. 

You could have almost fallen asleep there at the table with your head resting on your hand, but you fought against it, trying to stay active in the conversation while also enjoying just being close to him until you had to eventually separate and go to your own Common Rooms.

You knew when you got back to your Common Room that Jisung and Luna would bombard you with questions, and you were happy to answer them. Through the break you had the best time ever, and you were going to have to thank Jisung for telling you that you should have fun, because that’s exactly what you did, and in the process you found someone that made you feel a comfortable warmth that you couldn’t describe but you loved. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin whispered in your ear while Jisung and Seungmin argued over some sort of history fact.

Looking up at him, you smiled, fighting the urge to press your lips to his again and again. Instead, a simple answer came to mind, and you spoke just as softly as he did, not wanting anyone else to hear. It was what you were thinking about since you met Changbin, and every day since then. It was what you thought in the morning and at night and every second in between. It was a simple answer, but you knew it would get the message across.

“You.”

#stray kids #m.writing #stray kids imagines #skzwriters #stray kids scenarios #stray kids oneshot #seo changbin #changbin #changbin imagines #seo changbin imagine #skz imagines #skz scenarios #this was actually so fun to write !!! #enjoy :D #and its sooo long i apologize i hope you all like it tho !!! 🙇🏻‍♀️😔

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Alright, Period Cramps just set in and Im looking for songs anyway so Im gonna be listening to every RWBY Song (V1-V7) in chronological order and rank them, starting with the worst. Lets go!

Caffeine: Thank god the team with the Nazi-based leader has the shittiest song so far.

Celebrate: Why tf is this here

Shine: Ehhhh. I dont really know why but the vibes were all off, somehow. The fact that really dislike Jaune (and as an extension, Arkos) doesn't help either.

Forever Fall: This song was 5 minutes long and it felt like 20

Brand New Day: I barely even registered that

Fear: not the worst

Lets Get Real: Either Im too tired or the songs are getting worse

War: Im ranking this one higher because it wasnt over 4 minutes

Bmblb: All the love songs are so generic

Dream Come True: Im listening to all these songs in the form of Lyric Videos and the art used in this one made me think 'Oh, a Jaune Song... Great. Well, maybe we'll get Jaune pining after Phyrrah now! Yknow, to balance it out. A cute lil song of him pining for a nice girl might me like him a bit more!' and guess what. It wasnt that. It was another Arkos Song from Phyrrahs perspective. AND this one had unnecessary Girl-Hate towards Weiss! For no reason! The only reason its above Shine is because they atleast got the vibes right this time.

Not Fall In Love With You: I think Im just not a big fan of the love songs.

Boop: It was pretty cute but nothing to write home about

Until The End: slow piano

Touch The Sky: Its not that bad, its just that Im tired and this song is too goddamn long

This Time (From Shadows II): A just fine song for a shitty arc

I Burn: I liked fine, until they started rapping.

Like Morning Follows Night: I thought this was gonna be one of the better love songs, then he started rapping.

Smile: All this does is make me question how Ilia was in the wrong even more. Sounded alright though.

The Triumph: Eh, pretty unremarkable opening for an unremarkable volume

This Will Be The Day: A very promising start! There's honestly not much to say here

From Shadows: It was fine. I liked the overall sound but the lyrics and the singing are just a bit too edgy for me.

Bad Luck Charm: Someone in the comments under the lyrics video said "looks like someone found his middleschool poetry" and honestly, yeah.

I May Fall: Hey, yknow how the FoB was apparently meant to happen in Volume 1? Yeah. Overall, I thought it was pretty alright. (You can probably already tell that Im not too big of a fan of the louder, more energetic songs so far.....

Trust Love: This is by no means a problem I have with only this song, but I hate how theyre all like "oh this isnt some FaIrYtAlE kid, this is real n dark n shit" as if RWBY isnt the least dark and least subversive story Ive seen in recent time

Rising: Alright but unremarkable

Miracle: Another alright but unremarkable one. At this point I feel like listening to these songs is frying my brain

Ignite: I was just gonna say its an alright Yang Song but that rap...

Big Metal Shoe: I can appreciate some fairy tale references

Gold: The chorus got a bit repetitive but I thought it was pretty cute

Home: Another cute lil family song! This one was kinda long though

Lionized: I really appreciate the vibe of this song

All Our Days: Adorable! I didnt really expect a Taiyang Song but this was pretty nice

Sacrifice: Not really much go say about this one, I thought it was fine

Neon: I feel like I just got aggressively flexed on in the nicest, yet most condescending way possible

Lusus Naturae: Very edgy, but in a way that I can appreciate more

Red Like Roses I: I really like the sound of this one! I kinda wish we had more lyrics, but this was the song used in the Red Trailer so Im assuming it was made to compliment the action more than anything. At the start and end there was this series of notes, that Im assuming is gonna be the Leitmotiv? Either way, Im curious how theyll use it

All Things Must Die: I feel like this song is definitely at its best during the slower bits

Lets Just Live: First of all, I cant believe they live-laugh-loved us. They kept mentioning like, stories and how 'this isnt your TYPICAL fairytale', I could practically feel the writers being like "Huh, huuuuuuuh? Arent we CLEVER? Yes we are, yes we are!" But other than it was mostly fine. A bit long, maybe.

Armed And Ready: Pretty alright Yang Song, I felt like it was just a bit too long

It's My Turn: Not much to say, I thought it was a fine Weiss Song

Nevermore: I think its good

Wings: I really enjoyed this song! Caseys voice is lovely and I think its a very good Blake Song

Indomitable: I liked this one, but I feel like its mainly because the line "the spirit is indomitable" reminds of Flame from VRAINS

When It Falls: This song is trying very hard to convince you that RWBY is Dark Now. And given that Im pretty sure this is V3s opening, I guess it fits. Oh well, it still sounded pretty nice.

One Thing: A real slappin song thats going straight to my YGO-playlist as well

All That Matters: Very neat song about Yang's conflicting feelings on Blake's return. Shame theyre literally not conveyed at all in the show.

Die: Very agressive title, but okay. I also enjoyed this one, who wouldve guessed. I love this whole vibe of Desperate Heroism In A World In Ruin, yknow? Its there in Time To Say Goodbye and Red Like Roses II (two of my favourite songs so far) too. Though it is quite dissapointing that the show never really matched it.

Hero: I dont get how people can look at this and go "yeah, Ironwood was clearly always a tyrant who never even remotely cared for others". Also Caleb Hyles my beloved

Time To Say Goodbye: Another very nice song! I also think the foreshadowing in the third verse (yknow the slow one) was quite well done. The only real issue is, that the plot point its foreshadowing is stupid as hell

The Path To Isolation: Why is Weiss a better character in her songs?

Divide: This song is trying very hard to convince you that RWBY is Dark Now pt 2. It is a banger though, so its fine.

Mirror Mirror: Funfact: This was technically the first RWBY-Thing Ive ever consumed! A Youtuber named Strawbelly made a german cover of this song (and the songs from the other trailers, I believe) and it was one of my favourites for a while. Ive also already listened to some of Weiss' other songs and I remember enjoying them too. I can definitely already tell that I prefer Caseys voice in the slower songs, so I really hope this keeps up

This Life Is Mine: Yoooooooooo, Caseys voice was amazing in this one(especially at the very start)! This is one of the Weiss Songs I listened to before I even watched RWBY and what can I say, I loved it back then and I love it now

I'm The One: Oh, this was absolutely lovely. For the first few seconds I thought I wouldnt like this one, but its a banger! I love the lyrics too, theyre very clever I think

Red Like Roses II: DUDE, I adored this! I did not expect there to be lyrics for Summer at all and I was so pleasently surprised! Sandra's voice was lovely, and I really hope I'll get to hear her again. But on a slightly more negative note, I feel like this is really where the whole 'RWBYs Songs Characterize The Protagonists In A More Compelling Way Than The Show Does'-Problem starts.

I originally wanted to write some kind of conclusion but Im tired and wanna read angst fics. Have a good night!

#rwby #rwby review

[semiconducting]

just reflecting on some personal growth stuff from last year !

im actually. genuinely okay. like i think im starting this year feeling okay! which is atypical. 

i think i can attribute it to the enormous amount of work id put into myself over the past year...i remember one year ago being extraordinarily depressed and really just. high strung? incredibly anxious but exhausted. and i fell down a descent slowly from not eating, to getting really irritable and not handling conflicts with friends well, to actively self harming again, to the point where i remembered sitting in a coffee shop with one of my friends and saying out loud that i need to go to therapy. and that i was going to talk to a mutual friend of ours about how the therapy services on campus are. which was a huge step for me! ive always had trust issues with therapy services since i was 12 for reasons i wont go into, but im sure you can gather the point of.

and then, literally the next day after saying that, got news about campus shutting down because of the virus.

and i made all of the effort possible to reach out to my friends and get things figured out to weather the storm because i KNEW shit was going to get bad if i didnt. but only one of my friends was really keeping up, and thats because he and i do homework together so we were already in a rhythm of talking every single week no matter what. and thats not to say that im ungrateful for him or the fact that even still he was there for me while i was going through hell, i have this thing about Not Putting All My Problems On And Confiding In One Person And One Person Only. so i withdrew, i stopped talking to everyone, i stopped logging into my classes, i didnt do any homework, i didnt lead my workshops, didnt hold office hours...i was just wallowing in my own misery

and i made plans to kill myself. and thats like, i mean i could say that several dozen times over the course of a year since i was like 12, but i mean a legitimate walkthrough plan. had my hiking bag packed with everything i was going to use, decided where i was going to, and was going to prep myself for it. wrote drafts and drafts of suicide notes until i decided just leaving the contact info of people who needed to know asap was all i was going to leave. in addition to sticky notes on some stuff in my room for what needed to be returned to who, or if something should go to someone in particular...

and i acted as normally as i could around my housemates. attributed my not leaving my room much to being busy with classes. i have a rule to myself to always sleep at least one night before killing myself because if im really serious about going through with it it can always wait one day. this time i decided i was going to clean my room and leave it as pristine as possible. the last thing i had to do was a load of laundry, and then i was going to do it.

and then someone from campus showed up at my door. because one of my professors filed a report and i hadnt responded to any of the emails id received checking in on me.

so i readjusted. caught up on my schoolwork, just barely finished the semester and definitely didnt do it strong or well (god bless the pass/fail option bc of covid LOL), but i did it nonetheless. went home, started my internship, had a miserably mundane summer.

i grew bitter and apathetic. i was angry at my friends for not being responsive when i reached out to them to talk or hang out or do anything. i got tired of dealing with it. i was tired of feeling alone and like no one gave a shit about me except for when it was convenient for them. i decided that i wasnt going to deal with people who werent willing to put any effort into me, so i stopped talking to everyone and kept up with people who were willing to reach out after the fact.

it’s definitely not the best approach. it’s really unforgiving and it doesn’t give people a lot of benefit of the doubt, but i think it was necessary in some respect. i didn’t have any criteria for how people needed to reach out, or how long after, or whatever, just that they did. really needed people in my life who are willing to communicate with me. i was honest with how i was feeling and why i did things if they did, apologized for the shitty approach, thanked them for still being willing to talk to me, and worked out the best way for both of us to keep things going.

over the months i dont think i really regret the decision, because it’s been a weight off my shoulders. i feel a lot better. i’m far more okay with where i stand in all of my friends’ lives, even if that’s not as a priority and even if that’s as just someone to talk to and catch up with like a couple times a year. it took a bit for it to pay off but it’s nice to take a look at people i was putting far too much work into and upon reflection realizing that they only interacted with me when they needed something from me, and not for me as a person. i think there are still people where there are loose ends and i think i may try reaching out myself to tie those up at some point, whenever i have the energy and clarity of mind for it. but i guess at the end of the day i just decided that people who weren’t willing to communicate weren’t worth the time. i’m okay if that communication means i need to be the one to initiate conversations even! i just need to know that.

but yeah. i came back to ny and started the semester totally apathetic and angry. i was so fucking depressed and bored with everything even if i was keeping myself incredibly busy. the only thing that i found rewarding (and what was just barely keeping me going) was leading my workshop for the intro optics class. 

and then a friend -- the same friend i was at the coffee shop with -- reached out to catch up. and i was honestly really bitter and angry with him and was prepping myself to start listing out issues that i hadnt been able to address with him beforehand (side note, while telling friends the issues you have with them is important, listing shit out all at once is hardly ever a good approach especially without warning LOL) but ended up...just having a calming and comfortable conversation about what was going on in our lives since we last saw each other. 

n later that day i ended up reaching out to an old friend that i had been meaning to catch up with because we fell out of contact, but had just barely been trying to start talking again in the months before this but had kept missing opportunities to properly converse. but we talked again, and we set up a day to hike and catch up.

and he comes to my house and picks me up. and i get in his car. and its like, holy shit, its been almost a year since ive seen you. and we hugged. and just started to catch each other up on the mess that had been our lives since we’d actively been in contact. we hiked, he told me about the books he wanted to write, we talked about people we knew, we talked about politics, we talked about school, we talked about life, and it was just as comfortable as if not a day had passed...even though it was obvious that he and i were both changed people over the past year. nothing about our friendship was any different though.

we resolved to hanging out with each other every week. decided we both needed the interaction, appreciated having each other around, and had a nice overlap of free time in the week that worked well. friday nights unless otherwise specified.

it was totally unexpected. he’d always been a great friend to me, but i never expected us to get as close as we did. neither did he. he’s probably the first person in my life (or at least in a very long time, and certainly the only person at the time) that i’d been so comfortable with that i practically had no boundaries around. none that needed to be addressed, anyway, because the only possible ones to throw up wouldn’t even come up (but of course, i constantly reassured that as soon as anything came up i would let him know because early on he kept asking sjhdkjfh). 

he became something for me to look forward to in the week. towards the beginning he was a shoulder to lean on when i needed it and was willing to listen to things i hadn’t been able to tell anyone out loud. and he confided in me as well. it was comfortable. it was safe. it was a level of trust with vulnerability that i’d never shown anyone else. 

but it wasnt even just that! it was fun! hes so fun. we could talk about everything and nothing, and hes one of the only people where i feel like i have to keep up with him in conversation instead of the other way around. we’d jump from topic to topic so much faster than either of us could think and it was all always so interesting. littered with humour that was just dumb and simple. i felt comfortable just being an idiot with him. i felt like i had nothing to prove. 

for the past few years ive held to the sentiment that i like to hang around with people that make me a better person. but somehow, with him, its not that i felt like he made me a better person, but that he made me more myself. he saw who i was without any kind of fronts. and i always was afraid to show anyone that me because i always assumed that they would be depressing, loathsome, bitter, angry, and vicious.

but....i’m not. i learned that i’m incredibly loving. that i’d do fuckin anything to for my friends, but always in a way that was healthy and rewarding for both of us. i’m very light-hearted and my sense of humour is so stupid, but also very analytical and thoughtful. just a bit judgmental and pretentious, but always for things that people dont expect. totally open minded in discussions. an avid explorer, and a bit of a thrillseeker. and so, so, so affectionate.

i realized im. not as horrible as ive always made myself out to be. i accepted that i didnt need to punish myself for things beyond my control. i realized that i could believe people when they tell me that they enjoy my company, or appreciate things i do for them, or that they think i’m a worthwhile person to keep around. 

its not that i dont have my flaws, its not that there arent things that i have to work on still. but maybe, at my core, i’m not actually motivated by spite, i’m not actually a hopeless pessimist, and that i’m not...broken. i’m not some secretly irredeemable monster.

and for a period of time i’ve been in a place where i could say i was genuinely...happy! and i don’t think i’ve ever been able to say that. i’ve certainly been made happy by doing things with friends in the past, i’ve been through periods where i’ve been okay with where i am at in life, but ever since i was like 12 (but probably even before that) i’d never been able to say that i was happy. it’s not that i wasn’t stressed, it’s not that things in my life were all going perfectly....but they didn’t define my mood. they didn’t define my view of myself. school, despite being the primary focus of my life, wasn’t dictating how i was feeling. even when things were agonizing and depressing because of school, i was still okay. i was incredibly stable.

and i owe that all to him being there for me. and hardly any of these things were anything that he was really directly responsible for, like its not that he sat there and just constantly showered me in reassurance and praise or anything that changed how i view myself...it was just having his company. it was just being able to sit there and listen to him go on about some totally random thing that he was exceptionally knowledgeable about. it was exploring caves and climbing hills. it was cooking together. it was talking about science. it was talking about love. it was talking about music. it was just having a consistent presence in my life, someone that treated me like a priority but never at the expense of himself, and someone i didn’t have to walk on any kind of eggshells around. it was someone who trusted me and respected me not by anything id done to warrant it, but just because of who i was. 

it was a reminder that i can take care of my own problems, that i just need to be a good presence in someone’s life and for them to be a good presence in mine.

but also that i can accept help from people who genuinely want to offer it! and that that help doesnt always have to be direct. that sometimes helping me means i get to do something nice for someone else LOL

it was everything i ever needed and i wasnt even looking for it. he meant the world to me and i was so, so thankful for the circumstances that led us here because i was so happy to have him in my life again. i was happy that we were able to get closer because we’d only been able to interact in professional environments before.

and then i realized i was in love. and i had a sexuality crisis. but i didn’t recognize it until i fell hard because it was a different kind of love than i’ve felt for anyone before. it was intense but entirely too comfortable. but i knew that i cared about him, and that he cared about me, and that i really didn’t need anything about our friendship to change but that it had potential to be something even greater than it was.

and i resolved to tell him about it...until he told me first. and that moment was, as cheesey as it sounds, nothing less than magical. we were both so happy and giggly and it was so sweet and warm and i dont know if im ever going to be able to recreate that feeling because it was just so particular, so specific to being something between me and him. its not that i cant love anyone else as strongly or be as happy as i was necessarily, but it’ll never be that same kind of feeling.

but things happened. things got complicated. i think he panicked. and then things that happened just felt so dirty and hollow and dark. he hurt me really, really, really badly, and it managed to happen in the span of four days.

and i’ve spent the last <2 weeks dealing with it. i think he’s dealing with it in his own ways, but realistically i don’t know how because i havent seen him since christmas eve, and we were both definitely not being completely genuine that day. was at his house for a small family party and he and i were the only ones who knew what happened. it was too soon to have healed from it any, but we couldnt exactly be honest about it then either.

and im doing better. im genuinely okay now. and, interestingly, i think i owe it to the past few months of hanging out with him and how ive been able to come to terms with a lot of things about myself. ive been able to show myself compassion. its really ironic.

its a situation where i was desperately trying to throw blame onto myself for, because if i could then i could punish myself for it and use it to fuel that deep rooted self hatred and then i could fix it, because i’d be the one responsible for fixing it. but, and i’ve talked to quite a few friends about it trying to figure out who to confide in about it, everyone who knows about it insists that i cant blame myself for it. theres not a thing about the situation that i can blame myself for. and its so fucking weird, because i cant bring myself to fully blame him for it either, just because it was so ABSURDLY out of character that it doesnt feel like it was anything he could have done to me. it was a boundary that i wasnt ever supposed to worry about him crossing, because he’s just not that kind of person.

and it’s the type of situation that you’re supposed to totally be willing to cut someone off for but...i can’t. he’s genuinely remorseful and i think he doesn’t really know how to deal with it either. and despite it being a massive fuck up its still like...the first fuck up in our friendship from either of us. and i’m willing to see this through. i think it’s salvageable, even if it’ll never be the same as it was. i have faith in our friendship. i think we can make it work.

but no matter what happens. i owe him more than i’ll ever be able to repay him for. and i’ll never, ever be able to hate him because of that. i’m in a much, much better place because of him and for that i’ll always be thankful.

#shut up mega #this ended up being longer and more in depth abt the earlier half of the year than i meant it LOL #a summary of my 2020 i spose #also there's some kinda detailed talk of #suicide ment - #self harm ment - #IM CRYING AFTER WRITING THIS OUT LMAOOOO

[tacittherapist]

((HS2 Spoilers under the cut!))

((For all the shit I give the epilogues, it does have its moments. Specifically highlighting this bit of dialogue here: ROXY: you think you choice mattered so much that no one elses could measure up? ROXY: n then what ROXY: did u get what u wanted? ROXY: did your life end and the points got tallied and you came out on top or like what? ROXY: still p much seems like were movin to me ROXY: and you sure dont seem like ur winnin so wheres all this good shit you got that you gotta go around handin out apologies for? ROXY: also damn dude while were at it!! ROXY: u forgot to actually say sorry in that apology! JOHN: no, i didn’t — i just meant... JOHN: i’m sorry for fucking up your life, or making it not— ROXY: i like my life!!! ROXY: i mean it aint perf and i got my share of fuckups n mistakes in there but you dont get to tell me its fucked up ROXY: or that it isnt real or somethin ROXY: its mine!

First: criticism. The writers wield this little section like a crude cudgel. They use it to underscore the weight of ‘canon’. This is the ‘candy’ timeline, so it supposedly ‘weighs less’ than the ‘meat’ timeline, but its characters still have meaningful thoughts and emotions. Here, John supposedly makes a choice that supposedly invalidates a bunch of supposedly important events, and Roxy here blows it all out of the water by claiming she made these choices too and that part of the blame rests with her in the direction her life has taken... which is total dogshit used to justify a bunch of really overt swings in character thematic. Continued here: ROXY: you wished i was one way the whole time we were married ROXY: but i wasnt ROXY: but now that youre all convinced ur the only real boy in a crowd o puppets ROXY: here i am bein me just like you ordered only i did it without your help ROXY: widen ur zoom my man!! ROXY: im not actin like this now because you want me to or bc you dont want me to ROXY: i was bad at standin up for myself then and im learnin to be good at it now ROXY: ive got my own self actualization train ROXY: ur just pullin in to one of my many roxy figures some shit out stations right as i built it JOHN: but... JOHN: you were never like that before i... ROXY: dude ROXY: where tf do u get off trying to decide what is or isnt me being “like me” enuff ROXY: do u think ppl stay the same their whole damn lives or what JOHN: you’ve really never felt like anything about our lives here was... off? ROXY: off from what exactly?? JOHN: the way things should be? ROXY: what does that mean???

Roxy here argues that there is no ‘one right way to be’ as a half-baked wink to the audience that all this gross mischaracterization is intentional and that it diverges so grossly from the established character arcs in order to demonstrate that nothing is set in stone. While technically true, this also makes for some pretty terrible writing.

Roxy was a caring, almost too involved individual before the epilogues. Her ditching Calliope for John and this messy marriage business and just letting Jane warp into a full-blown dictator makes no sense, even couched within the idea that ‘characters change.’ Yes, characters change, but there’s generally a reason for it! And not a shitty deus ex machina reason such as ‘John makes a choice!’ What even fucking happened to Candy Calliope anyway? She just fucked off somewhere? How do you sincerely throw a character away like that and then have the gall to wink at the audience as if what you’ve done makes sense? Changes in character are generally brought on by catalysts in their life! Trauma, joy, death, new settings, new ideas, events! Not... John deciding to eat a plate full of candy. If we had insight into Roxy’s thought process behind ditching Calliope and marrying John and having a kid on a whim, this might be saved. But we don’t even get a glimpse. Instead we’re pawned this shitty excuse for a very glaring departure from what we knew about Roxy. Character development is just that -- development! As in to become more complex or advanced! Roxy has made wrong choices in the past, yes, but her reasoning was laid bare in such a way that those wrong choices made sense for her to make. She then makes different decisions later because she learned from her wrong decisions. This is development! Her character is learning and changing behavior because of the things they’ve been through! Her reasoning for this awful series of bad choices is just... not explained, despite going against a ton of shit Roxy has learned. It’s slipshod. It’s careless. It’s sacrificing the tree to showcase the topper. The audience isn’t vested in this Roxy because she’s seemingly robbed of her agency, and then they’re trying to foist this idea that she somehow still has agency on us as if they didn’t preface the entire timeline with ‘well, all this shit is going to happen because we decided it and no other reason!’

Now: the praise. This bit of dialogue has huge implications for ‘non-canon’ dynamic. No, not ‘non-canon’ in the cheeky way the epilogues and HS2 claim to be ‘non-canon.’ I mean ‘non-canon’ as in this blog that I run and all the blogs that you, the reader, are writing and reading as well. Roxy’s insistence that characters change can swing the other way, too. Characters can develop in bad ways as well! Not bad as in bad writing, but bad as in flawed character reasoning! Suppose what Roxy learned from her time in HS1 was that most things can be solved by unvoiding fix-all solutions into existence? Then we might be able to see her trying to fix the human-troll-population issue by just... making more planets! Or unvoiding some sort of device trolls could wear that inhibits hivemind tendencies! That would be interesting and perhaps morbid to write about!! It would at least track with her past experiences!!! Or better yet: perhaps she actually takes a side against Jane (as she has done in the past) but instead of using their friendship as the moral plating, she went right into sarcastic arguments FOR eugenics to demonstrate how bigoted Jane was being? That’s a very Roxy thing to do!! She could have made the argument that if trolls need eugenics to suppress their violent tendencies, then so should humans! Having read about the Condesce’s eugenic practices during her formative years, this should have been fairly obvious to Roxy that what Jane was suggesting was from the same playbook, at least.

But I digress. What this bit of dialogue really does is give credence to us, the audience, in exploring these stories we’re currently writing for these pre-established characters. YES, canon Rose likely didn’t dabble so thoroughly in game magics, and she likely didn’t have as much anxiety as my Rose. BUT I prefaced my Rose’s current state with a bunch of events that make sense! She missed her rendezvous with the others! She had to float adrift, alone in a broadcast satellite, for nigh on a decade! She’s had a long fucking time to develop all these anxieties and mental illness because that’s what happens when you’re isolated for years! It is a tool I use to express my own anxieties and explore how someone might somehow overcome them! And most importantly: she’s still Rose. She has unprocessed mother issues. She cherishes her friends. She’s more than a bit gay. And she knows when the meta is using her and when it’s not, because she’s had a traumatic experience being used by Doc Scratch as a plot device. And that trauma isn’t going away (well, unless she gets therapy, but given the setting we’re writing... not likely), so she’s going to be overly cautious when it comes to big decisions involving her friends. What she’s not going to do is suddenly abandon everyone she’s departed from because uhhh Jade ate some bread the wrong way or whatever.

tl;dr: What this section of the epilogues/HS2 (well, really just this bit with Harry Andersen, Tavros, and Vrissy that is somehow more interesting than virtually EVERY OTHER PART of HS2) is telling us, the audience, is that it is good to diverge from canon. Non-canon characters will still have very real feelings and face very real consequences for their actions. Just... don’t do it like they did it. All these characters we’re writing for and all these events we’re writing around them... they’re valid! They matter! Just because they’re not canon doesn’t mean others are willing and wanting to read them, and that makes them important! Unfortunately, this also means the epilogues/HS2 are important, but let’s ignore that for now. What I’m trying to say is: be indulgent! Write the things you want to write! As long as they’re well-reasoned, they’re good writing! Characters can be overpowered! They can be cliche! They can have teenage problems as an adult! Just... give them a good reason.))

#ooc #hs2

[rqs902]

on one hand im happy that this means there’s gonna be a lot of official content since the eps are supposedly so long that they gotta cut them in half. 

youku has been pretty consistent with giving us a relatively good amount of official content. but on the other hand im always slightly concerned that by splitting up perfs, those whose perfs get aired first will have a competitive voting advantage since (as long as they do well) those kids will have a full extra day of persuading people to vote for them through their stage performance. It’s not as huge of a deal as when other shows split performances across weeks, because a whole week ahead is a much bigger advantage than one day ahead. but every day can help those who need the votes. at least akey and zhan yu got aired today.... feels bad for jin fan because he really needs the votes. 

also another down side is just this show’s eps are SO LONG they’re eating up a ton of my free time LOOOL but thats how these shows always go for me... because I always end up taking like double the amount of time to watch an ep, just to pause, digest, rewatch sections that i like (sometimes multiple times), make sure i understand, etc. i feel like these shows always consume my life during the few months they’re airing so i’ll just enjoy it while I can HAH

..

anyway ep 4 starting with singapore buddies huang junrong and sun yinghao speaking english with their singapore accents!!!!! lol can totally relate to yinghao tho, like when you cant read chinese you gotta find someone to translate for you

yang chaowen with dog!!!!! i wonder if the dog really likes him LOL they seem to appear together on camera often. akey with chen junhao!! and zuo linjie!! making friends!!!

lol i feel like the group leader choice method is some sort of extended advertisement for knock off apple products lol.........

HAHAHHAHAHAH LIN MO’S VIDEO STARTING OFF ALL FORMAL AND NERVOUS AND THEN XUE EN’S CUTS HIM WITH HIM BEING STUPID. I LOVE IT. there’s two types of people. how did they not vote for xue en HAHAHAH

interesting that they picked the songs for the self-composition group ahead of time, rather than make them make the song as part of the competition (looks at produce camp... fireman is my jam but the east binhe road team ran into complications with that, so I can see why it’d be more risky to let them do that again) but lucky for zheng renyu and li chenxu tho! I’m interested in hearing their music so i dont mind, just kinda wondering what the other kids who picked composition would’ve brought to the table

oh theyre still giving yan an screen time... every time i see him im happy but then feel oof

oo zhanyu’s first stage look is just so nice oof xikan talking to lin mo but lin mo looks ded and is all eye patched up :( 

LOL su er all jubilant over a sexy concept song - good luck with that

oooof this shot of jin fan’s perfect side angle 

aw akey being bested by shaopeng at every match... but im so excited to see what they can do together, theyre both so good at making music!!!! the resident music makers for each of their respective groups, tyger and coreone, theyre both so talented! def shaopeng has and deserves the credit but hopefully people will see akey contributed too bc im sure the two of them really led together, being the most experienced rappers hahaha

WHOA csp opening up to qu boyu and saying he has older step brother and sister who have a different mom from him and encouraging him to just be real when writing because there will be people out there who connect with his lyrics awww hes really taking this child under is wing and teaching him from zero, hes really like a big bro taking care of him and enjoying watching him grow. im glad csp is opening up and is self reflective enough to realize that he hasnt done so enough in the past and that he should involve himself more with the others. 

im happy cui shaopeng got to feature in the bts clip for his group, he deserves it and hasnt gotten much screentime relative to his talent before. im happy akey got a little time and some recognition for his skills too. honestly just happy akey FINALLY got to do a rap stage..... wish we couldve gotten more huang enyu and huang junrong but im happy they got to show off their vocals!! for being young vocals in a rap performance, their stage presence were both really good too! csp’s entrance is epic wow. 

wow this is the most hyper performance ive ever seeeen wow im so happy for akey because we know how long hes been waiting for a rap stage and wow csp’s leadership must be top notch to get this group to somehow be cohesive with such a not cohesive song LOL i respect that csp really respected akey’s skill and let him shine too. akey was a second c if ive ever seen one lol. they both got to shine and so did everyone else in their group, which is telling of his leadership and why this stage turned out so well that even all the teachers like jackson were so hype LOL 

OOF shen bohuai and lin mo talking about how akey’s lyrics are so moving like lin mo wanted to cry and bohuai felt like he could tell akey’s been through a lot

lol xikan and bohuai being all tough and lin mo being like lol i feel the pressure. shaopeng smiling like a proud parent when boyu gets good comments c: oof rip akey and shaopeng’s votes tho :c 

lin ran’s look tho LOL but zhan yu’s is so questionable?? why is he in this group ?? LOL but i guess its his turn to do something cutesy. mannnn why does zhan yu look like hes surrounded by children but hes not even that much older//?? hahahha ooooo is this the center zhan yu of legend?? ?hahahah yayyy hopefully more people will notice him! you know when i heard zhan yu was gonna be center, this was not the type of song i was imagining, but hey if it takes a cutesy happy song and a bunch of little kids around to get zhan yu a chance to be center, ill take it! i wish they’d show us some practice footage?? im confused why there isnt any?? i think sun boran’s stage presence is good! zhan yu’s voice so powerful yess somehow he managed to show off different aspects of his vocal skills in this very plain song LOL  im surprised lin ran didnt stand out a lot but when they pointed out that he purposefully put himself in the back to protect his team members i think that makes sense bc he knows being cute isn’t going to be able to win them as many votes but if the less popular kids in his group dont get votes, its a lot more devastating for them than for himself. lin ran didnt want this song and he didnt want to be cute but he really didnt want kids to suffer from choosing his group. lin ran has a cute image but i appreciate that this time we got to see a more serious side of him. isnt it ridiculous that theyve literally trashed zuo qibo and lin mo about being old but then literally i didnt realize until now sun yinghao is the oldest??? (he looks really young wow and so tiny aw) but also like they never bring up akey being old either?? some sort of weird bias going on... but i mean good for yinghao and akey lol 

but aw im glad theyre giving yinghao some attention... 10 years and starting off with jackson? oof... 

ayy zhan yu getting the most votes!! 

kou cong being older bro to zlj but also ultimate mentor to cxh aw yay for him getting some recognition from the judges and jin fan supporting him too heheh but it says a lot that he recognizes cxh’s efforts and wanted to put in his own effort to help him

i wonder if them giving zlj less audience votes is an elaborate scheme to get him more pity votes from the general public lol.... well im excited to see the rest of the stages tomorrow! 

#rants

[pacifistofpatience]

Again, can't access Masterlist for some reason so kindly ignore this if it's already been done please. Ut, Uf, and Ht Sans who meets said SO by the SO working at Grillby's (weather this is on surface or not depends on you)

((I hope I fixed themaster list thing! But thankfully this is not on it!!

ugh gosh, idk where i wanted to go with this. I started writing out a story for each one but then got distracted and started doing bullet points and it turned into this mesh. I think i may need to stop for the day cause Im running low on my creative energy)) 

Undertale

Sans

The first time you saw him,he had already seen you many times before

Most of your day was spentin the kitchen, cooking away as Grillby served the customers and only coming outwhen you felt like he was lagging behind

(that was rarely an issue,but you also knew business was booming now that monsters were on the surface. Afterthe initial tourists made their rounds to the monster shops you thought things woulddie out. But people quickly gained a taste for the little bar on the outskirtsof town. Enough so that the bar could very quickly get busy) 

Sans saw you in passing,carrying plates of food and rushing to and fro. Despite his aversion to crowdshe found himself going on the busier days, hoping to see you again as you bustledaround the bar 

And gosh, was it weird thathe might have started to get a crush on someone with so much energy? You alwayswere so full of life as you moved around. You chatted with the costumers animatedly, all while keeping pace with Grillby and somehow taking orders at the sametime??? How the hell did you do all of that??? He was getting tired justwatching you!

Eventually, though, hegets his chance to actually meet you

He had been walking intoGrillby's when he found you outside, sitting on the ground with your chefs hattilted downwards and he just froze up. This was his chance to talk but he didn’tknow what to do??? He couldn’t just say “hey ive been watching you work for thepast few weeks and I really want to get to know you and stuff but please donethink im creepy”

Of course, all thatworrying was for nothing when he heard you let out a loud, obnoxious snore

Were you… Had you just…fallen asleep? The big ball of energy out like a light in the middle of the day?! 

He checked under your capto see your eyes closed. Either waiting for your shift to startor -by how disheveled you looked- probably taking a break after a long day. Hewondered how many times you had worked yourself to the bone just to fall asleepthe second you had a moment. That maybe, more often then not, your boundless energywas diminished by the end of the day

And by accident (or somegod above that wanted to completely embarrass him) you woke up in the middle ofhis staring

“Oh!” you had said, withouta hint of malice, “You’re Tab Guy!”

“I’m the what!"

Underfell

Red

You were pretty sure hewas an alcoholic

The first few times youcame to work, he was already drunk. Bordering on black out. He slurred hiswords and made very… unnecessary comments at some of the patrons. Eitherlooking for a fuck or a fight. Whichever he could get

But never to you, whichwas both relieving and somewhat confidence shattering

(it wasn’t like you wantedto be catcalled (Or instigated)… but from the conversations you had with hisdrunken self when the bar was closing and the last patrons left you learned afew things about him

1: He liked puns

2: he was actually prettydang sweet

3: You were gaining a big crushon him very fast)

Grillby didn’t want todeal with him all that often (Something about a swiftly growing tab and hisbrother refusing to pay it off because he needed to learn responsibility) soyou became the go to deal with him. And it wasn’t like you were going torefuse, mostly because Grillby would handle the whole bar as long as you dealtwith Red for the rest of the night. It was like an all day long break!

Of course, after a wholeof getting to know him you had tried to cut him off. Just once.

“aint nothing…” he slurredto you, “ya see tha-tha alcohol… goes right thru-thro-through me…watch this…”

He proceeded to knock backanother drink, tipping both himself and the stood far enough that he toppledover onto the ground

For a long while he just laidthere, groaning in pain as you practically vaulted over the bar to check on him.Once you were down there you were greeted with his unapologetic snoring

After a quick chat withGrillby, who came out to find you hovering over the skeleton, he sent you offearly given you take Red home. So you slugged his arm around your shoulder andthen one of your own around his waist and headed off (after getting his addressfrom Grills, thankfully)

Most of the walk was spentwith him mumbling nonsense before nodding off, only to wake up a few moments laterand start rambling again

But something did stickwith you

“yer—” he said, all slurredwords and, “yer a gud human…all sweet an’ stuff… ya-ya listn ta me an… and yanever kick me out like grills does…a real sw’et’art. real gud an’ nice and..an...an--”

*SNORE*

Well... now you had to have his number

Horrortale

Jupiter

It’s a long while beforehe goes back to Grillby’s

You heard stories before,about these big skeletons in the underground that one day just came in and… assertedthemselves there. How one named Papyrus was the sweetest thing, even though so muchhe was the light of the town

And.. And then when theytalk about Sans- the other skeleton- it’s always in reverent whispers. Sure,they’ll tell you things like how he’s funny, a real sweetheart once you get toknow him, that he used to spend weekends at MTT resort before the incidenttelling jokes.

But then there’s thethings they didn’t tell you, hushed conversations of with only a whisper of hisname that would die out as you came by. It sent a shiver up your spine, because fromwhat you knew the guy was good but… 

...But there was somethingthey were keeping, some secret the whole Underground refused to let anyone inon, especially the humans

When you met him it was towardsthe end of your shift, on a quiet Wednesday night where it was too early to close,but far too late out for anyone to want to come in. So you were surprised whenyou heard the bell ring

The guy was big, hulkingwith a hole in his head the size of a crater, and you would have been terrifiedout of your mind had it not been for the fact he seemed so small in thatmoment. One big eye light darting every way and only relaxing when he caughtsight of no one except for little old you

He sat at the far end of abooth, and you bounded over to him with the kindest of smiles (Despite thesmall amount of fear still going through you) and spoke to him.

The conversation flowed easilyfrom there. Even though he spoke slowly and with a nervousness you knew well, hewas witty when he wanted to be, and his jokes had you laughing

(He beamed when he got youto snort, eye light flickering to a heart for just a second)

The rest would be dealtwith later but, for now, it was just you and this sweetheart of a skeleton in abar

(That is… until Grillbyfinally exited the back and practically engulfed Sans in a warm ‘welcome home’hug)

#Im starting to get tired #lol been working on stuff all day cause like #it was my day off and i gotta do something or i lose my mind #and it was this and some other stuff #Only one prompt left and then ... #i think 20 followers left until i can do the 500 follower thing!!! #So im gonna close asks until then! #Horrortale #HT!Sans #Underfell #UF!Sans #Undertale #Sans #Anonymous