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#red robin dc
parks-and-get-wrekt · 2 days ago
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Tim: I am the most forgotten middle child
Jason: I’m not so sure about that replacement
Tim: No! You’re the fuckup so you get attention anyways. And Cass is the only girl. What do I have? Nothing! I have nothing special
Dick: (trying to make him feel better) well you’re gay?
Tim: … that’s a good point actually maybe I should be banking on that
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headcanonthings · 22 hours ago
Conversation
Tim: ...and then I was like, "I'm no Einstein, but - "
Kon: Did you know he wasn't real?
Tim: I'm sorry, what?
Kon: I was reading about him. He was a theoretical physicist.
Tim:
Kon:
Tim: The scary part is, I genuinely don't know if you're joking.
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emblazedwinter · 4 months ago
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Based on this headcanon post I made.
Damian: *Angrily venting about an animal shelter's condition*
Tim: *Typing on computer*
Damian: Are you even listening?
Tim: The owner is a wanted criminal and I just bought the shelter.
Dick: You... bought an animal shelter?
Tim: It was the easiest solution.
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dick-rayson · a month ago
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Bernard tells Tim his theory about how Robin and Superboy are dating, causing Tim to reevaluate his entire life
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imjusthereforbatfam · 3 months ago
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I dont have a snappy caption for this one, but if anybody wants a pic of my "data" board before I take it down I'll share it 😅🥰
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bat-bbyy · 16 days ago
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Jason: I'm sick and tired of having no respect in this house!
Bruce: All I said was that you can't punch someone for bumping into you on accident
Steph: no no no Jason was in the right for this
Tim flips the two of them off while holding an ice pack to his bruised face:
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Heard from Wayne Manor Part 4
Liana: For being someone who cries when someone slightly raises their voice at them I sure do love a lot of asshole characters
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Damian: I’ve decided that getting more than five hours of sleep a night is excessive
Stephanie: Seriously? Sleep is for the week, you don’t need more than an hour
Tim: Wait, you guys actually sleep?
Dick: Are you guys, like, okay?
Damian, Stephanie and Tim: No
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Me: You have three seconds to explain why you just woke me up
Duke: Because it’s morning and you should be awake.
Me: Oh! Interesting. I didn’t know you wanted to die today!
Duke: August you can’t kill me.
Me: It’s too late, I’ve already decided how.
*Duke screaming*
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Bruce: What are the symptoms of teen depression?
Dick: Why are you asking me?
Bruce: Tim was doing laundry earlier and he dropped a sock and I heard him say “why has God forsaken me?”
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Barbara: Jason, you’re an absolute idiot!
Jason: What the fuck did I do?!
Barbara: *shrugs* Nothing, just saying it in case you’re gonna do something stupid and I’m not there to say it.
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Alfred: Master Bruce, why are you baking cookies at 3 a.m?
Bruce: Because I’ll be damned before I bring bakery goods in front of Sharon.
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Cassandra: Getting into trouble a little early tonight, aren’t we, Jason?
Jason: Trouble? No way. You’re only in trouble if you get caught.
[Bruce catches Jason by the arm]
Bruce: Gotcha!
Jason: I’m in trouble.
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Liana: *about Damian* This child looks so smug. Why is he so smug? Does he know something I don’t?
Me: In my experience? Yeah probably.
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Selina: How many children do we have?
Bruce: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there’s a difference.
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Jason: [rolls down the window] What seems to be the problem, officer?
Dick: Get the fuck out of my car.
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parks-and-get-wrekt · 21 days ago
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The Robins (plus Duke) as moments from the try guys episode where they get kidnapped
(The last one of these did pretty well and I have more to share so)
Kidnappers: where’s your phone?
Dick: it dropped outside
Kidnappers: why’s it outside? Why’s it not on you?
Dick: I don’t like the way it makes my pants look
Duke: what’s being kidnapped usually like? Is it like an escape room?
Jason: it’s more like a bdsm room
Dick: Oo-Kay
Tim: I was afraid of being kidnapped as a kid. And there was this one nightmare I remember, where the kidnappers got to me and I just started screaming “I love you”
Dick: the royal family have to get trained for live kidnapping situations. Meghan Markle had to go through a kidnapping scenario like we did today. So I’m basically… married to prince Harry. Except I’m gonna have a better dress
Stephanie: I’m gonna put the nap in kidnap!
Duke: (talking about Batman’s survival training) he’s the kind of guy who goes into the woods and bites into raccoon neck for like, sustenance
Jason: I’m not scared, I’m kind of like… hard. Nope that wasn’t the word I wanted to say
*laughter from his siblings*
Jason: I meant hard like I’m tough not hard like, stop laughing dickhead I didn’t mean it that way
Dick: (clutching his stomach and cackling)
Stephanie: Tim’s the best at strategy because he plays a lot of board games, Jason and Damian are obviously the craziest. Me? I can create a distraction. Then we’ll throw Duke at them and run away
Duke: what?
Dick: now I’ve heard of Stockholm syndrome which is where you fall in love with your kidnapper. I’m not saying that’s gonna happen today, but that could happen today
Jason: you look so stupid right now
Tim: *messing with his handcuffs* thank you
Tim: wait, can I just- *starts pulling his hand out*
Others: slender wrists! Slender wrists! Slender wrists!
Duke: have any of you ever been in a situation like this?
Damian: I got into a cab once, it was going in circles and the driver kept changing directions and talking on the phone. Eventually I just put a knife to his throat.
Dick: I’m the run guy, he’s the stab guy
Jason: this is some dark shit y’all
Stephanie: is it weird that I’m excited?
Damian: *immediately kicks a henchman’s leg and makes a run for it when they put hoods over everyone’s heads* *gets caught and brought back to the others*
Dick: (conversationally) hey Dami how’d you do?
Damian: I made it about 50 yards
Stephanie: oh that’s pretty far
Random henchman: get down on the floor! No talking!
Dick: (lying facedown) what about singing?
Henchman: (kicks dust over him)
*muffled laughter from the other kids*
Stephanie: (mocking the others bc she’s not actually adopted) you’ll never get away with this, my dad is a very powerful man. Ooooh when my dad finds out about this
Tim: (giggling)
Jason: okay I’ve got a bunch of tape, what did you all get?
Duke: I got zip ties
Dick: I’m handcuffed pretty tight
Tim: wanna trade?
Jason: (motioning to a lock pick shiv he’s got in a secret pocket) okay unzip my pants
Dick: (unsure what’s going on but down for it) okay yeah
Tim: I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sweating like crazy right now. Feel my hand
Jason: no I don’t need to feel it that’s gross
Tim: I think I can just slip out
Duke: oh no way
Stephanie: his sweat lubed it up!
Dick: Tim’s anxiety is the best secret weapon
(During interrogations)
Duke: wait you guys it sounds like they’re torturing Jason
Jason: (In the distance) ow my dick!
Stephanie: *barely holding back laughter*
Damian: Drake you know what you have to do now, when they’re torturing you you have to slip out and kill them
Tim: *concern*
*the goons returning from an interrogations*
*muffled giggling as the kids try to get their hoods and restraints back on*
Dick: wait, help!
Stephanie: you’re on your own man!
*individual interrogations*
Goons: so who has the most money?
Jason: oh Tim definitely (immediately throwing him under the bus)
Goons: wow you really don’t hesitate to give each other up do you?
Goons: *spray something in Dick’s face*
Dick: is that axe body spray?
Dick: oh that’s really bad actually
Goon #1: disgusting isn’t it?
Dick: (cheerfully) yeah!
Goon #2: purest form of torture
Goons: so apparently this group’s leader is Tim
Tim: what are you talking about?
Goons: on your feet Timmy
Tim: oh I’ll do that, that’s fine, I just want it to be on the record that I am the leader, I’m the number one (being dragged away)
*interrogation room*
Goon #1: this is bear mace, you ever been bear maced?
Duke: I have not seen bear mace no, I can guess though, that it’s mace but bear strength
Jason: *trying to help get Dick’s hood off with his hands tied* come towards me I can probably do it with my knees
Dick: wha- you can just use your hands. You’re just humping my head
Stephanie: (joining the chaos) no wait hold still
*inaudible hump talk*
Stephanie and Jason: 1 2 3, go!
*they actually manage to get the hood off*
Dick: it did work, but it was super awful
*interrogation room*
Tim: I don’t know if you know this but nobody loves me, it’s kind of my shtick
Goons: who has the money?!
Tim: (rattling off business statistics)
Goon #1: you just like to babble and spit out a bunch of shit huh?
Duke: it’s how I think when I’m nervous!
Goon #2: how do you talk when you’re in pain?
Duke: pretty much the same
Goon: what’s wrong with you?!
Tim: oh so many things
*back in the main room*
Stephanie: (as she’s being dragged away) may I just say that you’re doing a great job, you have a beautiful operation here
Goon: *insults Damian*
Damian: I’ll remember that when I cut off your head
Stephanie: *fixing Duke’s hood to look like Yoda ears*
Tim: I told them my shtick is that nobody loves me
Dick: we love you!
Tim: okay then you pay my f*cking random
Damian: not all of us
Jason: (to Duke) (with authority) interrogation 101, you give them nothing dude
Goons: *forcing Tim to stand in a wall sit position*
Tim: oh is this exercise? This is gonna be so uncomfortable
Dick: oh! We got it! We got it!
*the others shushing him*
Dick: okay yeah shh you guys, shh, we got it!
*the kids walking away mostly barefoot after escaping*
Stephanie: (holding up the hoods) I’m keeping this as a souvenir!
Dick: lets just go until we find like-
Tim: a Starbucks
Duke: does it have to be a Starbucks?
Tim: it has to be a Starbucks I want a caramel macchiato
Jason: can we get fro-yo?
Stephanie: I’m very proud of myself, I escaped and I annoyed my captors relentlessly
Dianian: they probably would have killed you first as a message to the rest of us
Tim: I would like the record to state that they called me the leader
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emblazedwinter · 4 months ago
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My neurodivergent brain has recently moved the long-time favorite topic of Batman and his army of children back to the top spot for what special interest I feel like indulging in, and I have some headcanons!!! This might have done spoilers but I’m gonna try to avoid anything major.
I’m not going into any of the attempted murders or stuff like that because we’re all aware the bats mostly have shit mental health, and that’s not what this is about (I’ll probably post something like that later).
I have a bunch of headcanons, but this post is just gonna focus on one category. Let’s talk about the possible siblings dynamics cause I’m a bitch for found family tropes!
First up is Tim and Damian Wayne. Can you imagine if they got along?
Both of them are unique chaotic on their own. Damian was raised by assassins, has is army of animals and his love for them mixed with his more... violent approach to problem solving. Tim found out the identity of Batman when he was nine years old, became CEO of a company at 17, and at this point is most likely fueled with caffeine and depression ‘cause he definitely isn’t getting energy from sleeping.
I imagine something happening that frustrates/upsets Damian and Tim just fucking... solves it and informs Damian with the same tone you’d use when telling someone what the fucking weather forecast is. If the problem can’t be fixed he’d take him to the petting zoo or something to help take his mind off things.
In return, if Tim mentions someone is bothering him Damian will either offer to or say he’s going to stab the person. Someone saying something negative about Tim and Damian overhears? You better run because Damian’s got his fucking sword and his animals are running right along side him.
Both of them actually working together to fight villains or simply mess with their other siblings? Downright terrifying.
Next we have Tim and Jason (I really like Tim). They’ve had some good moments in the comics, but this dynamic also has potential for absolute chaos.
Once again, we have Tim, the sleep deprived genius. Then there’s Jason, legally dead, technically a zombie, actually a comedic badass.
I like the idea of these two bonding over how they became Robin. Jason failing at stealing the tires of the batmobile, Tim literally blackmailed Bruce to convince the man to train him.
Jason being unexpectedly protective of Tim in true Jason Todd fashion (ie, probably threatens to steal Tim’s coffee, drug his coffee, or get Alfred if he doesn’t get some fucking SLEEP–!)
Tim randomly crashing Jason’s safe houses to drag him over to the manor for family dinner or some charity gala because “if I’m being forced to socialize so are you!”
The batkids switching to a different language randomly in the middle of a conversation just because.
Dick and Jason making up "traditions" just to fuck with their younger siblings.
Duke casually announcing things the other batkids did or are about to do.
Prank wars!!!
Think about all the possibilities!
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dick-rayson · 23 days ago
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since Tim's dating Bernard and Jason is back with the family I'm imagine a "meet the family" situation with Bernard would go something like this:
Tim: "and this is Jason"
Bernard, knowing full well Jason is dead but not wanting to question it: "....hi Jason"
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bat-bbyy · 15 days ago
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Get your batfamily head cannons! (Angst edition) (so tw I guess??)
- Tim constantly gets stress headaches so it's not surprising to see him with his head in his hands
- Tim always feels super guilty whenever he ends up having a bad thought about his parents especially his father since he doesn't think that they were THAT bad compare to his siblings
- Duke eyes have recently started glowing yellow. Whenever they glow it hurts Duke really bad!! It's basically like getting a flashlight put in your eyes but extremely close up. It also leaves him blind for awhile.
- Jason sometimes haslunate his Robin self whenever he's reminded of his death. His Robin self always asks if it was worth it and he always replies that it would have been better if you stayed dead. The other batfamily know about this but only Roy have been a witness to this.
- Duke and Damian tend to be really jealous of their classmates. Damian is more on the violent and bitter jealous type while Duke keeps it in and just think about it while he's with the other person.
- Jason has very intense violent thoughts and sometimes they get so bad that he doesn't know rather or not he's going to go through with it
-Damian has such a complex relationship with his mom. He can easily praise her without hesitation but if anyone points something out or make him think about what his mom did to him in the pass, he will have a mental breakdown
- Steph has an ankle that is permanently damaged. It's not serve but it is noticable and something she can't hide.
- When Tim ends up having a breakdown he'll break everything in his room and stop taking care of himself. There is signs before this happens, that Jason happened to catch on to. So now whenever he sees Tim having any of these signs, he takes him to rage rooms and take him to his favorite pizza place.
- Steph hates having people enter behind her whenever she goes into a room. She's so conscious about the fact that they might lock her in there. There's only a handful of people that she doesn't worry about that happening with.
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