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shihalyfie · 3 years

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Shiramine Nokia, and her role in Cyber Sleuth’s narrative

This one’s on request! Cyber Sleuth is quite the interesting game and a rather landmark entry in the franchise, mainly for being a love letter to the franchise and its long history itself, and for being the franchise’s very first work exclusively aimed at adults, meaning that it can explore different topics that wouldn’t normally be Sunday morning timeslot material, while also being a little more willing to assume that the people playing this are familiar with a lot of older parts of the franchise (not that it’s advisable to have complete lockout, but the game benefits greatly by not needing to assume lockout by default).

One of the ways Cyber Sleuth exhibits its “franchise love letter” status is by starting off the game all the way back at the franchise’s roots, before Digimon Adventure changed the game and everyone’s perception of Digimon and Digimon partnership, when the V-Pet lore was intertwined with Digimon as elements of hard sci-fi. As the game proceeds, the atmosphere slowly starts to resemble the more fantasy-like version of the franchise established by Digimon Adventure and its follower entries -- and that change is represented in none other than Nokia herself.

Before we begin: As anyone who follows my meta work has probably noticed, I generally prefer to have my analyses use tons of references and screenshots so that it’s easy to follow and the evidence is concrete, but Cyber Sleuth is a game, and it’s much harder to get those things without replaying the entire game, so I hope this won’t be too hard to follow despite being mostly text.

Nokia’s background and personality

If we want to apply the producer’s statements on Twitter, Nokia is 17 years old at the time of Cyber Sleuth, and has a backstory of having originally been a shy, bullied child who broke out of her shell thanks to the influence of her cousin (who, of all people, happens to be none other than Date Makiko). The flashback we get with Nokia in chapter 18, however, portrays her as just a fairly cheerful, go-getter child, but (although we only get to see her hair) she’s not quite as “flashy” or in-your-face as the description entails.

A possible hypothesis for rationalizing this all together comes from a what we learn about the process of memory wiping in Cyber Sleuth chapter 14: even if memories are extracted from the person, there’s some kind of residual memory left behind (the producer’s above statement also states that the same thing had even happened to Suedou). In Hacker’s Memory chapter 16, Arata confesses to Ryuji that the first Under Zero incident and Jude's loss to the Knightmon had re-triggered his trauma from having lost Yuugo years prior -- “not the memory, but the feeling.” So in other words, there was some feeling of loss that came after the loss of Yuugo that impacted those involved -- and it’s very possible that this deeply impacted and traumatized Nokia as well.

Assuming we’re still following this line of thought (since, again, this background point wasn’t actually in the game proper), Nokia eventually decided to break out of her shell thanks to Makiko’s influence, and become eccentric and assertive, and thus, the game begins.

While we’re here, I also want to point out that Nokia is also voiced by Han Megumi, possibly the Digimon franchise’s most notorious “promoted fangirl” who freaked out after getting to meet her childhood characters’ voice actors while cast as Airu in the Xros Wars crossover and ended up casted in a handful of major Digimon roles thereafter as a result. Which is not to say that her voice performance wasn’t also absolutely perfect for the bright and aggressive Nokia, but, you know...considering the below analysis, food for thought.

Nokia as a representative of “the conventional franchise”

Cyber Sleuth opens on a world where Digimon are largely seen as hacker programs, and even the hackers themselves only see them as non-sentient programs; there are ones like Chitose who treat them with empathy, but his attitude seems to be kindness towards them in a way not entirely unlike a family would treat a Roomba. Although he doesn’t admit to it at first, Arata himself also comes from this “world” of hackers, and we later learn that Yuuko herself is as well (via her “Yuugo” persona), meaning that, other than the playable protagonist, Nokia is the only “outside-context” person -- a completely ordinary civilian who’s gotten dragged into all of this.

Much like, say, the protagonists of Digimon Adventure.

With this background behind her, once she’s thrown into the world of hackers, she immediately has a “fateful encounter” with Agumon and Gabumon, instantly recognizable as two of the franchise’s most prominent Digimon (and complete with their Adventure voice actors, too). And I do especially bring up Adventure specifically, because while Nokia’s position in the game does end up taking in certain elements that roughly came around that era and possibly slightly predated it (mostly Digimon World and V-Tamer), Agumon and Gabumon weren’t particular mascots of the franchise until Adventure basically blew everything to pieces.

Right off the bat, Nokia does not have a single shred of doubt that Agumon and Gabumon are living beings and should be treated as such (again, much like the protagonists of Digimon Adventure; even Taichi in his “is this a game?” mode never doubted this). And they open up their meeting with this conversation:

Agumon: Umm, who are you? Nokia: It... It can talk?! It's so... so... so adoooooorable! M-M-M-M-My name's Nokia. What're your names? Agumon: Me? My name is Agumon! Gabumon: I... I'm Gabumon. Nokia: Agumon and Gabumon? Hee hee! What weird names! Gabumon: Hey, they're not weird! Agumon: You're the one with the weird name! Nokia: As if! My name's not weird! Hee hee!

And on top of that, Agumon refers to Nokia as having a “familiar” scent. Remember this for later.

Nokia’s second encounter with Agumon and Gabumon in Cyber Sleuth chapter 3 involves her properly partnering herself with Agumon and Gabumon, and learning about the existence of the “Digital World”. Note that, for all intents and purposes, EDEN had been treated like the functional equivalent of the Digital World in this narrative up until this point -- cyberspace with hackers, coming from the network, it’s basically a “digital world” from top to bottom, and yet here Agumon and Gabumon are introducing the concept of a more fantasy-esque incarnation of a digital world. (And, in fact, despite EDEN being right there, many long-time Digimon fans playing this game often complained about how little you get to see the “Digital World” in this game, because of how associated that term is with something more fantasy-like.) So, again: here we have Nokia, who’s forming a partnership with Agumon and Gabumon as equals instead of recruiting them as hacker tools (even the protagonist wasn’t immune to this method), and being indirectly responsible for introducing the more fantasy-like concept of the Digital World that the modern franchise is currently associated with.

Nokia embarks on the conventional shounen anime character arc of starting off cowardly, but eventually learning to have her own inner strength, with her Digimon evolving in accordance to her emotions. And, eventually, in Cyber Sleuth chapter 8, she decides to form her own hacker team, called the “Rebels”. She ostensibly bases it off the old creed of Jude, having heard that they were a team that never caused trouble for others, but we later learn via Arata turning out to have been its former leader, and the even later portrayal in Hacker’s Memory of its spiritual successor Hudie, that this is an extremely rose-colored image of them -- Jude (and Hudie) was not a well-intentioned team by any means, but rather a sort of mercenary group meant to enforce the “freedom” of EDEN, often taking on shady jobs and “punishing” entities they considered to be causing chaos. But in this case, Nokia forms her team under the idea of legitimately fighting for justice and good will -- again, much like a Digimon Adventure protagonist.

In case the metaphor weren’t clear enough, Nokia decides that the members of her group will not be called “hackers”, but “Tamers” -- the same lingo used by the franchise to refer to a human who partners alongside a Digimon to help them get stronger -- and that she wants to promote the idea of humans and Digimon working in tandem (complete with emotional bonding exercises). For this, everyone looks at her weird, and yet her methodology, initially naive as it seems, keeps working, because Nokia’s natural charisma starts bringing people from different places together and making quite the formidable team. Everyone is perplexed by this, but perhaps it’s only natural, because Nokia has just independently invented the modern concept of Digimon partnership in a world where it did not exist. And this is eventually solidified by the Under Zero invasion in Cyber Sleuth chapter 10, in which Omegamon is finally formed (from sheer guts on her part).

Omegamon is yet another symbol of the modern franchise, but it’s important to remember that he hasn’t always been so; even his appearance in V-Tamer was as more of a tactical piece than any kind of game-breaker, but the impact of Our War Game! has led him to constantly make a resurgence in major franchise roles (maybe a little too much these days). However, on top of Nokia basically embodying the modern franchise itself by doing this, Nokia and Arata’s positions are an obvious reference to Our War Game! in particular, being Omegamon and Diablomon Tamers -- but they’re not seen directly fighting each other. In fact, Arata’s partner only ever reaches Diablomon when he’s at the highest point of his morality, so the reference is more ideological; Nokia represents the more idealistic and heroic side of Digimon, whereas Arata represents the more dirty-playing and cynical hard sci-fi side of it (remember that Diablomon himself was rather detached from the fantasy conflict of Adventure, being a mysterious entity that sprouted out of nowhere on the Internet and wreaked havoc). Moreover, Nokia’s usage of Omegamon embodies a theme that’s central to both Our War Game! and Cyber Sleuth itself as a whole -- while most people associate Omegamon with Taichi and Yamato these days, the original method of formation back in Our War Game! came from “bringing people from different places together”. Nokia managed to bring together a formidable army in a place where everyone else in the hacker world was trying to promote a dog-eat-dog philosophy, and the sense of cooperation is arguably making her stronger than anyone else.

(I should also point out that Nokia’s name is, obviously, a reference to the Finnish telephone communications company, and this has a lot of relevance to the game’s theme of connection, along with her phone Digivice...and, also, the method used to bring everyone’s powers together in Our War Game!’s spiritual successor, Diablomon Strikes Back. Feels a bit too on-the-nose here.)

In the second half of the game, when the world starts falling apart due to the Digital World portal opening, Nokia becomes one of most important people holding everything together as Arata goes off the deep end and Yuuko starts fixating on her own personal problems and revenge -- because she’s the one most in tune with treating Digimon as the living beings they are, she’s most active in advocating for them and helping them bond with humans, and and she’s the one making the chaos be a little less chaotic. The second half is basically the more fantasy-esque version of Digimon leaking into the sci-fi, with the sidequests progressively resembling your average Digimon anime monster-of-the-week episode, and holding that all together is Nokia, who becomes a vital figure in maintaining that fellowship by being in tune with the modern franchise’s philosophy.

Through all of this, Nokia ends up taking a role rather similar to a Digimon protagonist, which is highlighted very strongly in Cyber Sleuth chapter 18 when she ends up literally becoming the player character while the main protagonist is out of commission. During that time, Yuuko and Nokia learn the truth of what happened during the EDEN incident eight years prior -- and we also learn that the five children involved had an extremely conventional “first meeting in the Digital World” experience that could have been pulled right out of the first episode of a Digimon anime, with them having a lovely adventure meeting new creatures. And at the center of that “first contact” was none other than Nokia, Agumon, and Gabumon themselves:

Agumon: Um... who are you? Nokia: Ahem! I am Nokia! And just who are you? Agumon: Me? My name is Agumon! Gabumon: I... I'm Gabumon. Nokia: Agumon and Gabumon? Hee hee! What weird names! Gabumon: Hey, they're not weird! Agumon: You're the one with the weird name! Nokia: As if! My name's not weird! Hee hee!

Nokia, Agumon, and Gabumon’s meeting at the beginning of the game had been an (accidental) reenactment of their first meeting in the Digital World eight years prior -- and, in the flashback, Nokia invites them to go on an “adventure” with them. So in other words, Nokia getting involved in the hacker conflict at the beginning of the game was, unknown to all of them, her attempting to restore that beauty and idealism of the Digimon Adventure-esque philosophy and fun in a world where the Eaters had torn it away and EDEN had turned into a haven of cynicism and hacker battle royale.

In the end, the game’s conflict is only resolved by bringing everyone together; Arata has to be retrieved from the deep end, and Yuuko has to settle her deep-seated personal grievances. Everyone makes a promise to return together, in the sense of making things right and repairing the connections between them that had been cut in that incident. The final battle (momentarily) causes the playable protagonist to literally fall apart, and the one reaching out to them and sending her message to them at the end of the game is none other than Nokia herself -- again, in the absence of the game’s protagonist, Nokia is the one with the closest role, because in the face of the new world going forward, she was the one who contributed most to restoring its idealism.

Ultimately, all of this is especially because Cyber Sleuth works under one of the most terrifying imaginable premises for a fan of a kids’ franchise: “we made an entry for this, but for adults.” Many of us can testify that this kind of premise can go very well, or very badly -- the latter especially in the case of things that decide “taking the opportunity to do things that you can’t do on a Sunday morning kids’ timeslot” means “going out of your way to put edgy violence and sexy things and cynicism just because you can”, or, in other words, looking down condescendingly on its kids’ franchise roots with malice and deciding that something for adults means “more suffering” and not “issues that require more life experience to understand”. The reason the game ended up getting as much acclaim among longtime Digimon fans as it did was that despite being the franchise’s first venture into this territory, it did end up setting itself up as something that took that opportunity to do something new and unique that would have never made it into any of the prior entries (holy hell the doll quest) and yet never gave up on the idealism and themes of connection that make up the franchise at its core, and paid respect to everything that had contributed to all of that while it was at it.

And at the center of that is Shiramine Nokia, who is effectively the spirit of Digimon Adventure, condensed into a single character.

#digimon #digimon story cyber sleuth #shiramine nokia #nokia shiramine #shihameta

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drmedicsgamesurgery · 3 years

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Danganronpa Kirigiri Volume 2 Full Translation Part 1

Thanks to DJ Shocker, Shenmen, Chilly, LiarieCC, and Blackflirtlarping. This is a fully fixed up and complete translation with no missing bits.

Danganronpa Kirigiri Volume 2: The Norman Hotel Detective Auction

Chapter 1: Daily Life

Couples dressed to the nines for Christmas Eve wined and dined in window booths, but due to the height of the building, no matter how much I craned my neck I couldn’t see them satisfactorily.

I must have gotten a little carried away, bouncing around the hall to eagerly check out the outside scenery from the windows of this high-rise building, as I felt someone tug on the sleeve of my coat; Kyoko Kirigiri. She gazed up at me, wordlessly, with cool eyes. I felt almost as if I was being scolded.

“Thank you for waiting! Please come this way.” Both Kirigiri and I followed a waiter into the interior of the hall. Suddenly, an enormous Christmas Tree came into view. A fir tree that must have been imported from abroad, decked out in dazzling star ornaments that were determined not to lose to the lights of the city in terms of brightness.

We found ourselves being led to a wide individual room.

An antique candle holder stood in the center of a table draped in a white cloth, the candles fully aglow.

Napkins and cutlery for three people were already laid out on the table. And the furthest wall was transparent, giving us a scenic view of the city nightscape.

“Woww! This is amazing!” I dashed over to the glass wall without thinking, and gazed out at the city lights twinkling under the night sky.

“Kirigiri, come here!” I called out to Kirigiri, who stood behind me. She seemed to be hesitating. She looked at me with a slightly concerned expression on her face, then approached the giant window. She looked over the city nightscape with pink tinged cheeks, seemingly unable to tear her eyes away from the lights of the city.

“Isn’t it pretty?”

Kirigiri nodded.

“Won’t you tell me how you really feel, out loud?”

“…It’s pretty.”

At this point, Suisei Nanamura entered our private room.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, ladies. I see you’re enjoying my Christmas present to you.”

By ‘present’ did he mean this view?

I suddenly felt a little embarrassed at taking the bait so quickly and backed away from the glass wall, flustered.

Suisei pulled out a chair with a gesture that made it seem like this was something he was well accustomed to. I lowered my head to him in a quick bow and took a seat. I really wasn’t used to how to act in a place as fancy as this.

On the other hand, Kirigiri seemed used to it. She lowered herself onto the chair, almost princess-like, and gave Suisei a casual nod as her thanks.

Kirigiri continued to surprise me, but I think she was essentially a refined and well-mannered kid. When it came to being a detective and solving cases she became cool-headed and almost difficult to approach, but I wondered if that had something to do with being raised in a family of detectives.

Suisei placed the Santa hat he’d been wearing on Kirigiri’s head and sat down opposite her. He didn’t offer any explanation as to why he’d given her the Santa hat, and Kirigiri herself didn’t react.

Well, she looked cute like that so I had no complaints…

“Well, I am a happy man! Having the honor of spending Christmas Eve with such beautiful young ladies…”

After sitting down, Suisei propped both elbows onto the table and rested his chin on top of his hands, suddenly observing us intensely.

I was bewildered by the suggestive look in his eyes.

“W-what ?”

I suddenly found myself feeling very shy.

Suisei had a face as handsome as an actor - he was an attractive man. I had absolutely no objections to joining him for Christmas dinner-

‘“2,000, 9,800, 23,000.” Suisei suddenly rattled off a series of mysterious digits.

“Huh?”

“The price of your glasses, the price of your coat, and the price of your boots.”

“W-what…? How did you…?”

He knew?

The numbers were more or less correct.

“There are many ways to observe other people, and one of the most effective ways is to judge them by the value of what they’re wearing. Through knowing the value of their material possessions - in other words, their quality - is not a method to be overlooked.”

“I - I see."

“Yui Samidare-kun - for example, in your case you’re confident about your legs, so your most valuable possession is your boots. However, from the way your boots are worn down, they don’t seem to be specifically designed for sports. And you’ve chosen to walk down the path of becoming a detective. Aiming to become a detective at such a young age is probably due to something that happened in your past-”

“O-okay, I got it.”

I put both hands up in front of me, as if to evade Suisei’s words. I don’t think I wanted to hear anything else he had to say.

Suisei’s lips curled into a grin and he spread out his arms while gesturing at the clear glass wall.

“7,445,000 yen. The price of everything you can see from here. Along with the price of electricity for every building. The true essence of everything is so beautiful.”

Suisei gave me a smug wink.

Detectives were really hard to understand.

Suisei Nanamura was a Double Zero Class detective. According to the DSC (Detective Shelf Collection) at the Detective Library, his number was 900. The number nine indicated that he dealt primarily with murder investigations, and his double zero was proof of his skills.

In the past there was a detective who, due to the successful handling of his cases, moved up as far as rank three, but that took over 20 years of his career. For Nanamura to hold a double zero at the young age of 37 was, quite simply, incredible. It was not an honor you earned with half-hearted skills.

“Well then, let’s continue talking about the job over dinner.”

Suisei snapped his fingers, and from behind him a waiter appeared to fill his glass with red wine. Two more waiters also appeared by his side as if they were servants attending to a prince.

Since Kirigiri and I were still underage, we were passed a soft drink menu. I chose orange juice, and Kirigiri ordered a coffee.

“Let’s toast to our first meeting - is what I’d like to say, but allow me to refrain. After all, in our world a toast doesn’t signify the start of something, but the end.”

Suisei took a sip of his red wine.

The waiters began to lay out plates in front of Suisei. Usually when it came to French cuisine, every dish was served one by one, but for some reason they continued to pile dish after dish in front of him.

“10 hours, 28 minutes and 49 seconds.” Suisei suddenly rattled off another series of digits.

“That is the time that’s passed since I opened the letter challenging me to this Duel Noir. The time limit from when you open such a letter to who is victorious being decided is 168 hours. For my own sake, I opened the letter at exactly 10 am today.”

Suisei said with a serious expression on his face. However, he hadn’t stopped eating. It occurred to me that most of the food had already disappeared from his plate.

When did he…?

One plate each was placed in front of Kirigiri and me. If we tried to match Suisei’s pace, the food would be devoured before we could even enjoy it.

“Mr Nanamura, how many Duel Noir challenges have you participated in up until now?”

“This would be the fifth time.”

“The f-fifth time?”

“I can only call it bad luck. Out of all the detectives I know, there’s some who’ve never even heard of Duel Noirs. In fact, it’s more likely a detective will hear of Duel Noirs.”

Naturally, Kirigiri and I knew what a Duel Noir was.

Just a little earlier, Kirigiri and I had been wrapped up in one. A Duel Noir was a game organized by an organization called The Victims Catharsis Committee. Both a detective and a criminal engage in a deadly duel. After receiving a letter of challenge from a criminal, the detective will attempt to solve a case in real time.

Unlike what their name suggested, The Victims Catharsis Committee wasn’t a charitable organization at all. Under the name of providing catharsis for victims of crime, the committee lured participants into their game. It seemed that when it came to recruiting ‘challengers’, they particularly aimed for those who were driven by a need for revenge. In other words, by using those who were willing to go as far as murder, the game unfolded.

The detectives, on the other hand, were chosen out of the names registered on the Detective Index at the Detective Library.

There were approximately 65,500 detectives registered on the list, and their names were public information. It was assumed that The Victims Catharsis Committee summoned detectives from this list according to the difficulty of each case. For this, a detective’s DSC number was used as reference.

“The further you move up in rank, the amount of detectives decreases. Statistically it becomes more likely for one to be challenged to a Duel Noir.” Nanamura placed his fork on top of his plate, wiped his mouth with a napkin, then suddenly threw them all behind his back. One of the waiters caught the plate while barely moving an inch. With the space he cleared from throwing away his plate, Nanamura placed his two fingers together on top of the table.

Suisei began to stare at Kirigiri and me as if he was observing us.

“I read your file about the case you solved, you two. It was a great case for your induction.”

The Sirius Observatory was our induction case? And yet even now every time I remembered that day I felt a dreadful despair.

“However, the next one doesn’t seem to be so. Looking at the letter of challenge, the culprit seems to not only understand the aim of Duel Noirs far too well, but they also plan to win. That’s a troublesome attitude. Seems almost as if they’re enjoying the game. It’s probably a treat for the spectators as well.”

“Spectators?”

“Oh? You didn’t know? Duel Noirs are broadcast in real time. The spectators watch over them during what’s called a Closed Circuit, whilst eating and drinking together. You could call it a live-viewing.”

Speaking of which, didn’t the mastermind between the previous case say something along those lines?

The Victims Catharsis Committee didn’t just want to play a game - they wanted to offer a show.

“This is all pretty hard to believe. Who on earth would watch a Duel Noir?”

"I can’t tell you exactly who watches them, however there’s no doubt they move in high-class circles. In order to participate in a Closed Circuit, it’s said that the price is equivalent to that of the school fees from a third world country.”

What an incomprehensible and compassionless comparison. We can compare this to the duel in the arenas of Rome. People paid a lot of money to see blood and people killing each other. They want drama. Of course, I don't think I'd like to see that myself, people being killed so brutally.

“By the way, why are you after the Victims Catharsis Committee?" asked Suisei.

"We can't leave such an organization in the wild! " I said with a cry from the heart.

"A great sense of justice, huh?" smiled Suisei. He then turned to Kirigiri. "What about you?"

Kirigiri hesitated for a moment, "There is no reason. Honestly, I haven’t received another invite to do so. "

“Um, a-ah, w-wait we should really be united on this!” I turned to retort at Kyoko. “Wait, are you telling me you aren’t willing to fight the Victim’s Catharsis Committee!?”

“No, I’m just interested in having my detective skills recognized.”

“...Seriously, you’re only interested in moving up the ranks? Are you really satisfied with that? After being manipulated, aren’t you the least bit offended?”

“...I do.” Now that actually surprised me. Still, she was answering me in that usual expression of hers. She wasn’t quite good at showing off her feelings, or rather she has an incredible poker face.

"It's not right to hide your emotions behind a stone face, you know? So just try to deal with this organization with me! Isn't this a detective's job? That we aren’t just limited to dealing with immediate threats!?" I questioned.

"If Yui-oneesama wants me to help her, then I will."

"You're so childish!"

I chewed my lower lip to control my frustration.

"Don't you have your own opinion? Are you just a doll that we can control as we please?"

Kirigiri simply looked at me with cold eyes. Was she actually angry?

"A detective operating without a client is just fulfilling mere self-satisfaction." Kirigiri said before looking away.

"Maybe, but at least I’m making an effort to find out the truth." I suddenly got up. Weirdly, it reminded me of my childhood, and especially of my sister.

“Find the truth? What a childish response.”

“Says the actual child!”

After my sudden outburst, a sound echoed in the room. I looked at the source of the sound; Suisei was holding a mini trumpet. My ears began to ring.

“Alright, no fighting. Honestly, you’re like children. No wait, not even that, but rookies” Even so, from my point of view, he was much worse. He then threw the trumpet with a bitter laugh and a waiter caught it without problem.

"A detective is nothing without an ideology, especially not trustworthy. They’re also nothing if they’re too self-serving. I guess you two have at least one half of what it means to be a proper detective." said Suisei before shrugging.

Kirigiri and I looked at each other for a moment.

"Sorry I got carried away." I said as I sat back down, my face flushed from embarrassment. Kirigiri remained silent with her face being stoic.

"Well, let's go back to our history lesson," Suisei said, “Since my investigation into the Victims Catharsis Committee began, the amount of missing detectives had reached the double digits.”

“D-double digits?”

“Get what I’m saying? It means that the situation is getting increasingly difficult to back out from.”

“Is that what you got from this investigation into such a dangerous organization? If so, then that just means we need to hurry up and eliminate them!”

“Really brave of you, Yui Samidare. The detectives that disappeared would have said the same thing. These detectives were Double Zeroes, yet even they couldn’t shake this organization. It’s proof that this situation can’t be solved so easily. Say, did you know the Victims Catharsis Committee is registered as a non-profit organization? Complete with an office building, people can freely enter and exit.”

“Really? But then… what’s the matter?”

“The matter is that the only information that can be gathered is what they have open to the public. They spread detectives thin with so much useless information, while the real information is carefully concealed. If you want to hide leaves, put them in the forest. That good example is written in ‘Father Brown’. It’s a famous detective novel by G.K. Chesterton.”

“Then...what purpose does this group have? Is it to really treat the vengeance of others as some sort of program to watch?”

"From what I know, those who traced this organization before they disappeared seem to know there was a real purpose to that.”

“There’s a purpose?"

"The detective who told me about it is still missing, so maybe he knew the real purpose of the Victims Catharsis Committee, or..."

"Well, it definitely wasn’t for ‘Catharsis’."

"What is it from you, Yui? You refer to the Victims Catharsis Committee as evil."

"Isn't that natural? They kill innocent people."

"But both parties are often criminals, aren't they? You should know that if you've ever participated in a Duel Noir." Suisei challenged me. "They're trying to get revenge on someone who's made them suffer in the past, often from a crime."

In the past Duel Noir, the culprit of it, was trying to get revenge for his family that was murdered. He wanted to avenge them.

"Life has also taken away the criminal’s common sense." Kirigiri challenged as well. "They have decided to take revenge on the people who stole from them."

"In this world, there are people who live their normal lives without being judged for the mistakes they have made, while others live a miserable life in the depths of society. Life is simply unfair. Don't you think their behavior is normal?" asked Suisei.

"I can understand that feeling... but it's still unacceptable to turn to violence." I spoke back in retort.

“In the end, what you’re saying is only the opinion of one detective. There is only a thin line that separates justice from evil. For many people, the Duel Noir is a relief or a holy war. Some people think that challengers are rewarded only because of a necessary evil that can change the world.."

The Victims Catharsis Committee was a necessary evil?

Is that really the case?

"Even if there was another reason... when you're determined to kill people, and you

choose this path, I think you should be punished, no matter what the context is."

"You really are someone with a strong sense of justice." Suisei laughed softly. "But if the iron is twisted, it's very difficult to go back once it's done. A child like you can turn out to be the biggest threat."

"A threat..." Didn’t expect him to call me that.

“Don’t get too personally involved if you ever want to be married to an adult.” he said

"Don't let your feelings get in the way of your judgment, Yui-oneesama." warned Kirigiri. Well, I couldn't think of anything else to answer.

For a professional detective or for Kirigiri, hiding their emotions and not bringing their personal ideas into the business is very easy. I also think it is necessary. However, there's no reason to leave the Victims Catharsis Committee alone like that.

"Whatever the circumstances, I don't think it's time to change my mind about an

organization like this," I stretched my neck slightly, "No matter the context or despair, a normal human being has to control themselves."

“So what they said about youth being both a wound and a sharp knife was correct!”

“Mr. Nanamura! Do you really think the culprits of these Duel Noirs are innocent victims?”

"Yep, but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter to me." laughed Suisei as he answered without hesitation. "Innocent or not, as a detective, my true opponent is mystery. My existence is there to solve those that are right in front of me. Say, don’t you think it's more fun solving a mystery solo?"

“And so it turned into this…”

This was expected from a Double Zero. He really trusted his experience. "Do you really think I can forgive criminals? I'm not that naive," he said.

"I'm sorry I doubted you…”

“That’s quite alright!”

“Is there anything else we should know about the Victims Catharsis Committee?"

"I don't know anything else, but I heard another story from a single detective who had been the victim of a Duel Noir."

"Just one?"

"We call him the President, a man... I mean, they could be a woman, who is the brains of it all. Their identity is surrounded by a veil of mystery. One day they founded the Victims Catharsis Committee, a little less than 10 years ago."

"So they are the boss of the organization?"

If we could reveal the identity of the president, we would be able to charge the Victims Catharsis Committee as a criminal organization. The shadow that organization had casted was beginning to mold itself into a human figure.

"Who could be the president? Could he have been an ex-detective?" Kirigiri said abruptly.

Suisei raised an eyebrow, placing his elbow on the table to support his chin. "Why do you think that?"

"Duel Noir targets must organize an unsolvable crime and become guilty of a false incident. In fact, it means that the organization is able to cover up the real culprit in a case and keep it for a future game. Only a top-notch detective could do that." I spoke, and was rather surprised from what came out of my mouth. Wow, guess I was getting up there in being high level as well...

"That's right, you're absolutely correct." Kyoko nodded.

"However, if it is a high class detective who could find the real criminal very easily, he can survive their little adventure. As long as the rank is high enough, for example..." said Kirigiri, "The triple zero rank of the detective library counted four people in the past, but one of them disappeared from the records, perhaps they are the President we are after."

"This may be a consideration to be taken into account in order to identify the president of the organization." Applauded Suisei. "I'll skip the explanations, because to us, time is money. Kyoko Kirigiri, you seem to be able to follow me easily. "

"So, which detective was struck off the books?" Kirigiri asked.

"Unfortunately, I don't know." Replied Suisei, extending his arms. "When I registered in the detective library, there was nothing that could designate his identity, like most triple zeroes. All we know is that he's human. He was probably one of the first detectives in the library. If anyone knows anything, it must be a detective who handles gender cases. As far as I know, one of the founders was in this field."

Speaking of the founders, I heard that Kirigiri's grandfather is one of them. It doesn't look like he's registered, but... anyways, I might be thinking too much.

I was watching Kirigiri's reactions from the corner of my eye, but she didn't seem disturbed.

"If you're able to speculate that far, why can't anyone find him?"

Suisei took a knife & fork and raised his arms up. "It's because everything is speculation. If one of the old triple zeros turned out to be the president, it would be a shock."

"Why?" I asked

"There is a difference between time, money or talent. That's the difference between us and the Triple Zeros. If they turn out to be criminals, it will have a big impact on the rest of us and our reputations. It's not a joke- it's a fact - and it's not an easily by-passable problem. It's an undeniable defeat." Suisei said.

For me to be a Double Zero was already above the clouds, so if someone with a lot of pride like Suisei said that... then maybe I should at least admit that I wanted to fight much harder than I already was.

"There's only one way to get closer to the Victims Catharsis Committee," said Suisei. "It's to capture the challenger, the murderer. They are in direct contact and receive private information. But then again you'll need to know the identity of the murderer. However, if we can do it, it would be a big step. Do you understand?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed. "I wouldn't let a criminal win."

"That's a powerful mantra." Suisei got up from his chair and looked at his watch.

"What? Are you planning to leave?"

"We are eating, but time is running out, and time is money." Said Suisei, waving to the waiter. "Even if there wasn't a confirmation, it's still a Duel Noir. Are you sure you want to come?"

"Yes." I said without hesitation. Kyoko saw my face and also nodded.

“Then let’s discuss this Duel Noir, shall we?”

The culprit of the Duel Noir can get funds from the organization in order to purchase Techniques. These Techniques range from tactics to weapons and once their ‘deck’ is assembled what they chose will be on display in the letter to the detective.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Message for the Detective

Heed the Cry of the Noir

Location — Norman Hotel — 80,000,000 yen

Weapon — Knife — 5,000,000 yen

Weapon — Revolver — 15,000,000 yen

Weapon — Hammer — 3,000,000 yen

Weapon — Rope — 3,000,000 yen

Weapon — Automobile — 10,000,000 yen

Trick — Locked Room — 100,000,000 yen

Trick — Disappearing Act — 100,000,000 yen

Other — Cash — 1,000,000,000 yen

Total cost — 1,316,000,000 yen

According to the above cost, the following detective is summoned — Suisei Nanamura.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It seems he's the detective to ask.

I felt a little overwhelmed when my eyes met Kirigiri's. This time, the person had accumulated several weapons and tricks. He could buy this from the organization, the price being marked on the letter.

The higher the price and difficulty, the higher the rank of the detective. "I'll tell you the most important things first," said Suisei, taking the bag a waiter had handed to him. He put the letter back inside and closed it.

"In a Duel Noir, there is a rule that says the criminal cannot kill the detective in charge of investigating. It's because there's no game when the detective's not there. The detective is always asked for through a letter. If you're not the detective, you're just a secondary companion. So it could be that the culprit is one of the victims, even if they're dead. You could die." His voice suddenly resounded. "Me and the others, if you think about it, are jumping into the criminal’s trap. It may indeed be that if we apply ourselves to all this, you won't get out of it unscathed and wind up a victim."

“A...victim?” Those unexpected words made my voice change.

We would need to think about this carefully….

If we get in the way of the culprit, we could die.

“Are you scared?” said Suisei

"I... think I'll be fine." I lied to myself.

In contrast, Kyoko looked quite calm and gave a nod of her head.

"For the criminal to win, they must kill their enemy to get revenge on them, and last 168 hours without being discovered by the detective. If you win the "Duel Noir." You win the amount of money spent on the game. For a criminal wanting to start a new life, that's a good motivation." He said.

“That...sounds like such a desperate situation to wind up in.”

"Exactly. They can put everything aside, including their past, and have a normal life if they wish. On the other hand, if the detective manages to find out who the culprit is, they will have to refund the money they spent on the game. If they cannot pay with money, they will have to pay with their life. In tune, I will do the same and fight with my life.”

In short, it is a game of life and death for our enemy. To stay alive, they're going to do everything they can to not get caught. But I'm not going to be beaten. I became a detective to answer the call for help. If you want to bring justice as a detective, you have to put your life aside. That's the purpose of a detective. As such, I have no qualms about risking it all and even giving up my own life for it all. In contrast, Kyoko was a detective by nature with no sense of purpose outside of the profession. She was involved in this career since she was so young, and is now about to become a detective machine, utterly incapable of feeling death.

But, no matter how much detective work was installed in her, she was still a junior high school girl still starting out.

"The Duel Noir does not always take place in closed areas. However, as this limits the movement of detectives and drives the police back, these locations are often chosen. The Norman Hotel, which was chosen for this game, is an old abandoned hotel in the mountains. It will be very far from the city. We cannot afford to neglect the preparations. We’ll probably be there for at least 100 hours."

Suisei looked at his watch once again, and raised his hand to say goodbye.

"I have to go." Suisei began to leave, when he suddenly turned around, remembering something. "Oh, and let's confirm the schedules before that. I'll leave for the Norman Hotel the day after tomorrow, because there's something I absolutely have to do tomorrow. I will leave around 7am, and with the transport, I'll probably arrive around 10am. Is that okay for you? It's only one day, but..."

"Isn't there a time limit?"

"With my speed, we shouldn't be late. There's no problem."

“Oh...okay?”

"Let's pray for our victory!"

Suisei then headed for the exit of the private room, before diverting to the windows. He opened one of them. A strong wind rushed into the room. Suisei moved his legs to the other side of the window. "Good luck!" He gave us a thumbs up and jumped out of the window.

"Mr. Nanamura!" I quickly got up from my chair and rushed to the window that was still open. I then saw him slowly descend towards the illuminated city, a parachute deployed. The big sky-blue parachute added something to the beauty of the city. Were the high-ranking detectives all like this? I froze for a moment, watching the man slowly descend. The sound of cutlery made me return to my senses. A waiter came to close the window, blocking the wind.

"Well, let's continue this meal, even if we’re worried. D-day is only the day after tomorrow.”

"Yui-oneesama." said Kirigiri. "This could be our last Christmas."

"Don't say such a thing! Of course we won't be killed so easily! We'll have more Christmases after this!"

And I'll protect you. I couldn't get those words out of my throat. I could only superimpose

Kirigiri's possible death based on my little sister's... Because of that, I didn't even want to think about it. I didn't really trust Suisei. Moreover, if I let myself be trapped in my little sister's illusion, it could be annoying for the investigation. I forced myself to drop a "I'll do my best for the Duel Noir."

"I guess I don't have a choice if I want to improve my rank."

It's still my little sister's voice....

"Hey, Yui-oneesama." Kirigiri was young, but her voice sounded very adult. "We must survive the Duel Noir, no matter what happens there."

A waiter approached me, and gave me something that looked like a fine notebook. When I opened it, I discovered the dinner bill. 62248 yen.

“So Mr. Suisei Nanamura didn't pay?”

The waiter tilted his head and smiled to remind me of his presence. I checked my wallet but I only have two 2,000 yen bills on me.

“What’ll we do?” I whispered to Kirigiri: “That damn detective! His spectacular exits and entries show he has money, but likes to keep it!"

"Keep calm, Yui-oneesama." Kirigiri replied gently. She then took a card out of her wallet. "Can I pay at once?"

"Certainly." After settling everything, the waiter bowed and then left us alone.

"Kirigiri... you’re so cool..."

Once dinner was over, we left the building. Even if we moved as far away as possible, it was impossible not to see it. Lights that were almost blinding our eyes were emanating powerfully from across the city. I felt like I was in a paradise under the ocean, walking with Kirigiri. The Christmas lights were comforting, and a row of Christmas trees illuminated the faces of passers-by.

"Well, now that we're here... I can walk you home..." I said. Kirigiri remained silent for a moment, listening to the sounds of the night. She then turned around and started to walk away on her own.

"No need, it's too late anyways. I'll send you a message."

"But, alone at this hour..."

Kirigiri leaned her head and said to me over her shoulder: "Maybe if it was a foreign country, but there is nothing threatening on the roads of this country."

"But, if a man is attracted to young girls like you... he could do... that!"

I tried to attack her from behind, to grab her neck, but the next thing I knew, she was

gone. She then appeared behind me and put my arms behind my back.

“Ow, this hurts…”

"See? I can defend myself." She released my arm. “You need to be careful, Yui-oneesama. If you tried you could probably beat an older man with a high kick from those legs of yours.

"Be careful though, because if a man really wanted to attack you, you probably won't be up to it."

"Of course I will."

"Did you take a self-defense course?...And if possible can you teach me that trick too?"

"I'm going now." Kirigiri said as she looked at the street clock.

"Let's just go back together anyways, I want to talk a little more with you. It's quite boring, being alone."

Kirigiri frowned, creating a wrinkle on her forehead. She kept walking without looking at me. I ran up to her.

"We can keep talking about..."

"What, teaching you self-defense?"

"No, about the president of the Victims Catharsis Committee..."

"What's the matter?"

"He's a former detective, and one of the founders of the Detective Library... couldn't it be your grandfather?"

"It's very dramatic, but no, it's not him."

"How can you know that?" I asked.

"My grandfather was never registered in the library. He told me that before. He never became a triple zero, and it's not registered, so it couldn't be deleted."

But did her grandfather tell the truth?

"Are you sure he's not lying to you? A grandfather would never tell his granddaughter that he is the president of such an organization..."

"My grandfather is very proud to be a Kirigiri, more than anyone else in my family... He would never settle for being put in boxes like the library ranks. He was against the whole DSC classification system in the first place."

"Just pride?" I opposed. I've never heard of this family. She came from a detective

family, there was no doubt about it. She has these abilities at only 13 years old. Maybe she really comes from a big detective family and that blood flows through her veins, but I haven't seen any other detective react to the name 'Kirigiri'. Even Suisei, who was a double zero.

"I know what you're thinking. The Kirigiri family are good detectives, but we don't want to

be known. We live in the shadows. So the ordinary detectives don't know us. That's why my grandfather didn't register in the library, to protect the Kirigiri pride. We almost never talk about ourselves."

"It's an incredible story... but why did Kyoko-chan register in the library? Isn't that

against your family's principles? At least, according to your grandfather.”

"First, my grandfather technically lives abroad. So he doesn't fight crime from here. It is

impossible for him to be the president of a small organization located only in Japan."

"It's true that he's on another level... Sorry for doubting your grandfather, Kirigiri. Even

adults fight crimes like this anonymously, ignoring the opinion of the public and the government, but maybe he knows the president of the Victims Catharsis Committee? I mean, he was the 'president' of the library."

"I wonder about that, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"Maybe if you say your name, an official will recognize him. It's probably easier to sneak in discreetly."

"It doesn't matter. It'll always be the same thing; what do I do after that? How can I sue the president of such a non-profit organization?" Kirigiri looked troubled, and she moved her fingers closer to her face, as if to warm them with her breath.

"Whatever! Everything ends up being discovered! Like how Al Capone ended up being nabbed for tax fraud. There’s probably something that can be put on him. As long as we can stop the Duel Noir"

“Such an extreme line of justice, that’s no different than succumbing to evil.”

“Erk…”

"Yes, but being around all the time thinking about conspiracy theories will do worse than

better. For now, we should put the president's case aside. Let's try to clean up what's in front of us." I was really getting told by a girl who was younger than me.

That's right. We have already made good progress. Suisei Nanamura's Duel Noir had already started for 12 hours. We must remain calm. We'll think about how everything will go after we arrest the Duel Noir criminal... If we manage to get out of the hotel alive.

We continued to walk, our minds clouded with questions. Kirigiri suddenly stopped.

"What? What's the matter?"

"We have arrived." I looked up to see a huge traditional house, with a huge door. I had

trouble closing my mouth. The streetlights continued along the hill, and the white barriers extended far and wide

“Were there any houses like that left?” In this case, it was the largest traditional house I had ever seen. I watched Kirigiri, my eyes full of jealousy. Yes, she was definitely a lady.

"My curfew has already passed." Kirigiri said. "Fortunately you're not a man, because even for a detective, he would have been angry." Kirigiri seemed a little uncomfortable.

"If you had a curfew, you should have told me. We would have left sooner." I said.

"It's because I was talking to you that I'm late," Kirigiri replied, with cold eyes.

"Yes, it's because I've talked too much. I'm sorry, but I had to be absolutely sure what we discussed."

"If you say so."

“I’ll explain the situation, if that works?”

“That would help me quite a deal.” she said with a slightly softer tone than before. I felt rather pleased from it all.

Kirigiri walked to the large gate before stopping. The gate was made of wood, and I could only imagine the splinters that would be caught by touching it. It was still quite warm, but there were no signs, just an intercom.

"Aren't you coming home?”

“Only outsiders go through the front door. Family access is through the back.” She said as she walked along the wall.

“How… formal.”

The massive trees planted on the other side did not allow me to see behind the gate. It was difficult to see the majestic residence, but it was impossible to see a human presence. For someone who didn't know the place, the residence was a total mystery.

"Do you live with your grandfather or alone?

"It depends, but there are three maids. One person is always there."

“Servants, are you serious?”

Since the school we went to was full of young girls, it was not difficult to hear that some families hired maid servants so that they would not leave their daughter alone. One of these families was Kyoko's. She had neither her father nor her mother. I didn't have the details, so I didn't understand the situation well, but I easily understood that I shouldn't ask more questions.

"By the way, didn't you live abroad for a while?"

"Yes, with my grandfather. I stayed there for 5 years. Then I had to come back to this school, as I was already enrolled here," Kirigiri said. "It had to happen at some point. There's a small portal that allows easy access."

"My life is very different from yours."

"Really?" Kirigiri stoically replied.

We walked along the fence for a while, until Kirigiri pointed to a specific place. There was a small gate to make it easier to get in. She took the key out of her pocket, inserted it and turned the key. The gate opened easily.

“Eh? You had the key for this place on-hand?”

“The problem isn’t about me having the key. The problem is what to do afterwards.”

“Is sneaking to your room not on the table?”

“He’ll definitely catch me.”

"So what should I do?" I asked.

"Wait here, I'll call Grandpa."

"Okay, I'll wait."

"I'll be back soon."

"Oh, wait a minute!"

"What?"

"Wouldn't it be better if you took that hat off your head," I replied, pointing at the Santa's hat that was on her head. She pushed it slightly. I watched it fall at my feet. Kyoko looked rather surprised.

"What is it?"

"Didn't you notice?!" I picked up the hat and encouraged Kirigiri. "Hey, you better go."

"Oh, yeah." Kirigiri walked towards the door of the house. Once Kirigiri was out of sight, I put my hands in my pockets and leaned against the fence. It's unusual for Kirigiri to panic. Maybe her grandfather was that strict? Or maybe she really loves her grandfather. That must have been it. For her, who didn't have parents, it must have been difficult. I looked up to the sky, looking at the streetlights.

Suddenly, little white glitter began to fall from the sky. A white Christmas? On Christmas Eve I am often alone, wondering what I will do next year, and my anxiety overwhelms me. This year, I met a girl named Kirigiri Kyoko, whose presence really helped me. I no longer have this feeling of loneliness and emptiness. We're both detectives too. Will she be here again next year? I was imagining our future: two detectives always together. I didn't want a dark future, but wasn't that the fate of a detective?

"Yui-oneesama." I heard a voice. I saw that the large gate was open. I turned around to see Kirigiri, looking at me with concern.

"Where's your grandfather?" I walked away from the white barriers by redoing the button on my coat. I approached Kirigiri looking behind her, but there was no one there.

"You're the man who wants to seduce my Kyoko!”

The voice came from above my head. An old man wearing a kimono was on the wall. I only noticed it now? I stepped back before being pulled forward again, put on the ground. A short time before, I was quietly contemplating the sky. It was disturbing to see an old man jump off a wall that high. The old man's cane kept me on the ground. Was he really that strong?! He lifted it up to try and hit my head.

"Wait, it's not her! She's a woman!"

"What?" He pulled his cane away, lifted me up, and grabbed my chest. "What are you doing!" I shouted, clearing the man's hand. I jumped away.

"It's Yui-oneesama, the detective who goes to the same school as me."

"Oh, is that true?" he said, scratching his white hair. "Sorry, I heard Kyoko was going to eat with a boy, excuse me for the misunderstanding!"

Despite his white hair, he looked pretty young. His hair was shiny, his wrinkles discreet, he stood up straight and his eyes were shiny with life. He had a cane in his right hand, but his legs didn't seem weak. Maybe it was some kind of weapon for him.

"I'm glad to know that Kyoko has made a friend. Was it you who called?" he said with a smile. He looked like another person with that soft smile on his face. “You’re taking care of my granddaughter. I’m so embarrassed. She was always alone, and didn’t seem to be used to life here. I was getting worried. If she has a good partner like you, then I can relax. Right, Kyoko?” “Yes.”

"I'm sorry for delaying Kyoko and making her miss her curfew. She didn't seem familiar with life here, and I wanted to make sure she didn't get hurt."

Kirigiri was half hidden behind her grandfather's back. She seemed more comfortable than usual.

"We both talked about the incident, and it took a long time... I didn't know there was a curfew. Please, don’t punish her!"

“Heh, I always wondered who Kyoko would bring back to me. Anyways, don’t worry, there’s an exception to every rule. If it involves a detective case, I'm willing to forgive her. For the Kirigiri family, detective business is very important and comes first. Even death does not deviate from its purpose."

“O-oh, so…”

“If it was detective related, then that curfew crap can wait!” he said with a merry laugh.

Was that what Kirigiri's grandfather taught? It sure explained a lot...still, glad he wasn’t unreasonable. Honestly, when he knocked me down and groped my chest, I was expecting the worst. Still, from what I’m seeing, he’s a pretty agreeable guy. Though, perhaps, that could be just his love for Kyoko, spoiling her?

“Heh, thought I was a grouchy old man? It’s all over your face!”

“Erm, s-so sorry!”

“Like I said, when it comes to being a Kirigiri, being a detective goes past one’s family, even death itself. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, Grandpa.”

"That’s my girl! If it is for a case and to see Kyoko become a first rate detective, than I suppose it's worth keeping the gate unlocked at night,”

"Really?" Kyoko asked in wonder.

"Of course, as long as you’re focused on your duty!”

"I'll do my best to be a good detective," Kirigiri replied, her eyes shining.

"Good girl." said the grandfather as he stroked Kirigiri's head. She and her grandfather seemed quite happy.

I felt a little uncomfortable in front of the stage, but I couldn't help but think it was cute.

"Uh, tomorrow we'll have to solve a Duel Noir case, so Kyoko will be spending the night somewhere else. O-Of course, I’ll also be there with her! Is that alright?”

"Of course!"

Well, it was easy... but sending his little girl without hesitation into such a case... He

didn't seem to be afraid of the death of his loved ones. Did he know a lot about the Duel Noirs? He must have heard about the Victims Catharsis Committee, thanks to Kyoko. He at least knows a little. Maybe he even knew more than we did. Such a great detective, who is also the founder of the Detective Library, necessarily knows more. I hesitated for a long time, not knowing if I should ask him or not. The man spoke again.

"Well, it's about time we head inside. You should go home too, Yui. It's cold tonight and you need to prepare to investigate. Shall I call a cab for you?"

“Oh, no, I’m fine.”

"It was a pleasure to meet you. Kyoko, you can see her off."

I slowly lowered my head, always thinking.

"May I ask you for another cho-..."

There was no old man left in front of me. I was looking around, but nothing... nowhere. He had disappeared. Completely missing.

"Yui-oneesama, maybe you should go home..." said Kirigiri, near the gate.

I hadn't noticed it, but I was tired. The tension and my heavy breath disappeared, and I could feel the fatigue falling on my shoulders.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Yui-oneesama."

"It's okay, I'd let an old man touch my chest if it's for you." I said, removing the dust from my coat. "But I didn't know your grandfather was so... focused on your education. Still, it's great he’s not so uptight. "

"Hey, Yui-oneesama?"

"Yes?"

“It’s weird to choose detective work over family, yes?”

“W-w-well, I w-wouldn’t call it strange, just… well, it does seem to involve a lack of caring about people’s feelings in the matter.“ I said after a good degree of thought.

“People’s feelings?”

“Are you asking because you have doubts over your detective work?”

"No, that’s not it. Anyway, what Grandpa said earlier, that detective work was more important than the death of a family member… don't you think it's strict?"

"Well, I find it stranger than strict, but I guess that's your family's opinion of detectives..."

"No, it's different. For my family, work is really more important than the death of a family member. It's not a suggestion, it's an obligation. A dogma."

"Okay... I think it might be beautiful? It means you're very proud to be a detective, right?"

"Don't you think it's abnormal?" Kirigiri continued.

She had so much pride in her work as a detective that I could hardly see her doubting that. She was raised into it during her childhood, which made the thought of her doubts even harder to fathom. Still....

"What do you think?" I asked her.

"I don't think it's abnormal. I think… I think it's a good mentality," said Kirigiri. I thought for a moment to say that she didn't have to continue, but she opened her mouth before me. "But I feel like I force myself to think like that. Like, I live like a real detective, because I don't want to feel empty."

For her, her life was all about detective work, but even still...

"As long as I'm here, you won't be alone or empty." I hugged her.

"I want it to stay that way," Kirigiri said, looking at me.

"Of course! You're the coolest, most pure detective I know! Let's do our best together! Tomorrow and for as long as possible."

"Ah? ...Well, goodbye." Separating myself from Kirigiri, who walked back with a shyish look on her face, I laid my hand on the gate. I gave her one last look before running to the dormitories, the snow accompanying me. My curfew passed a long time ago! The dormitories were guarded, so I discreetly passed through a window.

Heh, violating the rules on Christmas night.

It felt quite nice!~

Chapter 1: End

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primrose-path-of-dalliance · 3 years

Text

on bren and feeblemind.

(cw: lots of caleb backstory. self-explanatory, i think?)

this isn’t something i’ve talked about on my blog yet, but since the campaign has begun drawing to a close, i want to make sure i say my piece on the popular theory that bren/caleb was institutionalized because trent ikithon feebleminded him to disable him.

my piece being that it’s exceptionally unlikely he did—at least as a premeditated plan. this kind of theory also falls prey to the exact beliefs ikithon has tried to exploit in caleb.

for our mutual reference, i’ll quote the spell description of feeblemind.

FEEBLEMIND (PHB) 8th level enchantment

Casting time: 1 action Range: 150 feet Components: VSM (a handful of clay, crystal, glass, or mineral spheres) Duration: Instantaneous

You blast the mind of a creature that you can see within range, attempting to shatter its intellect and personality. The target takes 4d6 psychic damage and must make an Intelligence saving throw.

On a failed save, the creature’s Intelligence and Charisma scores become 1. The creature can’t cast spells, activate magic items, understand language, or communicate in any intelligible way. The creature can, however, identify its friends, follow them, and even protect them.

At the end of every 30 days, the creature can repeat its saving throw against this spell. If it succeeds on its saving throw, the spell ends. The spell can also be ended by Greater Restoration, Heal, or Wish.

considering the characteristics described and implied by actors other than ikithon—caleb and astrid prominently—who are not motivated to deceive on ikithon’s behalf, feeblemind is not consistent with caleb’s mental break.

fact the first: when bren broke, he became violent and spellcasted.

when astrid describes the circumstances in which he was taken to the vergessen sanatorium (e89, 1:49:30), she refers to his lashing out as “creat[ing] a lot of sparks everywhere else” and rubs at burn scars across her neck. she says that they had to subdue him because he was too dangerous. all of these statements add up to a bren who was viciously spellcasting at his friends and mentor when he broke down.

this wouldn’t have been possible if he’d been feebleminded. feeblemind explicitly prevents the affected creature from casting spells or activating magic items. in that scenario, the only thing bren would’ve been capable of is throwing hands. from him? not very dangerous at all.

how do we know astrid wasn’t lying or intentionally deceptive? because she (and eadwulf) still cares so much for caleb that she risked her life multiple times to aid him. no one who would give caleb a map to a secret volstrucker vault with her own handwriting on it (e127, 29:29; and 30:57)—or intentionally fail to counterspell him when ikithon could’ve seen her do so—would lie to caleb about ikithon attempting to permanently feeblemind him if she knew.

to preempt the idea that astrid had set the m9 up: it’s very obvious she didn’t, since trent ikithon had clearly had no forewarning of a break-in. he would’ve at least been waiting in the vault, already prepared to subdue them quickly, if he’d known.

so it’s fair to determine that astrid would either be honest to the extent of her knowledge to caleb or make it clear that she couldn’t answer him. since she didn’t imply the latter, we can assume she was being honest. and because of astrid’s competence, it’s highly probable she would’ve noticed if his behavior was symptomatic of feeblemind over the years.

fact the second: bren’s mental condition repeatedly improved and regressed while he was institutionalized.

astrid states this in the same conversation about their subduing him after his breakdown (e89, 1:50:50). considering this with the context of their romantic relationship prior to his breakdown, her genuine care for him, and her rise to power that included accompanying ikithon frequently to the sanatorium (e127, 31:07)—astrid would’ve had the motivation and the opportunities to visit bren in person. she could’ve also kept well-abreast of his condition.

actual times of improvement and decline in the mental state that astrid first observed during his breakdown wouldn’t be consistent with feeblemind. although it reduces the victim’s intelligence score to 1, they still retain thought and their sense of identity without problems.

this is a maintenance of consistency and (relative) reason. feeblemind does not actually damage a person’s basic perception of reality. but the health of bren’s behavior throughout the years was instead very unstable.

fact the third: caleb doesn’t remember anything from the burning of his home up to his healing by the unknown cleric.

in the conversation with astrid in e89, he asks her what happened when he broke and explicitly says, “the last thing i remember is my home” (1:46:58). when he first tells beau and nott about his past, he explains that he doesn’t remember much of what happened to him there (e18, 2:51:54).

beyond the reduction to their intelligence, feeblemind doesn’t affect the victim’s ability to form memories. caleb’s keen mind feat and established narrative element of his eidetic memory would’ve still been present as well. therefore, feeblemind alone can’t explain such a significant, near-empty gap in his memory. he would still remember something.

even the possibility of trent ikithon altering them directly is precluded by the fact that the cleric’s healing removed the alterations to caleb’s memory. if all those years had been magically blocked away, they’d have returned when he was healed of everything else.

fact the fourth: sometimes, people really do just break.

nothing about caleb’s backstory is inconsistent with just... being a person living their life, even a terrible one. he was a young man that believed so zealously in his country and his purpose, abused by a powerful older man, that he did many horrible things and believed they were right. until finally he did something that he couldn’t process and broke down.

there’s two reoccurring, underlying assumptions i’ve noticed behind why this theory seems to be so compelling and popular:

caleb just seems so remorseful and traumatized by his double patricide. there’s no way he would’ve willingly murdered his parents. ikithon must have known and decided to preempt his inevitable betrayal.

everything we know about bren, especially from the horse’s own mouth, suggests that he had been willing (at least up until his mental break) to murder his parents. he was literally an extreme nationalist—a fascist, if you will. he was lawful evil (twitter source). he gratefully executed many “criminals” put in front of him, more than likely by burning them to death based on his ptsd. victims whom we now understand may not have been guilty of anything at all.

he was glad to do what he thought was best for the dwendalian empire, and he truly thought being volstrucker was the correct path. trent ikithon, his abuser, treated him as his favorite (e110, 3:30:58). because he believed.

that fervent faith, in fact, is the key to something like his breakdown in the first place. hearing the dying screams of his parents, bren was forced to confront a violent dissonance between his radical beliefs that condemned traitors (as he believed until the cleric’s healing) and the intuitive horror of murdering his parents that he couldn’t reconcile. this fathomless sense of betrayal is why caleb so deeply despised ikithon and himself.

a young evocation wizard who didn’t want his parents dead would’ve run into that burning house, feebleminded or not. someone magically compelled to set that fire would’ve understood what happened as soon as the charm left him and would definitely remember every detail once the cleric healed him.

caleb is remorseful and traumatized because he willingly murdered his parents. as well as many others.

it can’t be that simple. caleb was institutionalized for eleven years just because his abuser pushed him too far? there must be a more nefarious reason. ikithon even said he basically stored him for later.

putting aside the fact that bren having a breakdown in the way he did makes complete sense for his situation, ikithon’s “claim” that he orchestrated all of caleb’s subsequent years is not only something he never actually says (e110, 3:16:34)—it is a claim that’s patently absurd.

i’ve written meta that discusses this in the past (link here). essentially though, the number of moving pieces and assumptions that would be needed for such a series of events is ridiculously improbable. even assuming that ikithon feebleminded him—so that caleb’s mind would be intact when he ‘woke up’—even assuming that ikithon somehow procured the service of a cleric of the archeart—a banned deity in the empire that would oppose ikithon...

why in the world would he ever reasonably believe that caleb widogast, the man he viciously betrayed and lied to and abused, would do anything to benefit ikithon?

trent ikithon is a mortal man. he has power, yes; enchantment magic, authority, and a history of abuse and manipulation over caleb’s head, yes. but ikithon is a mortal man. not a puppeteer in the sky piloting people’s bodies.

he certainly wouldn’t have led caleb to a whole new family that would change everything about his life for the better. a family that would love him, truly—a family that would help him heal, bear the weight of his guilt, and find a real future waiting for him again instead of a self-destructive end. a family that would fight tooth and nail for caleb’s sake against ikithon.

abusers lie. their biggest lie, the one they always circle back to in the end, is that their victim is unique: that there is something which makes them deserving of abuse, and that their abuser is both right and inescapable.

ikithon is read as honest because he chooses his words carefully and has the self-confidence to believe it. everything he’s claimed about caleb and his past have either been implications that he encouraged others to reach for him or platitudes empty of everything except gaslighting intent.

caleb has escaped. and everything ikithon wants is to convince caleb and his friends that he continues to control caleb’s life, that caleb is special, so he can regain some influence over a man who’s come to command so much power.

the idea that caleb must’ve been feebleminded—that he couldn’t have just had a mental breakdown like so many other prospective volstrucker before miraculously, then strenuously, recovering to create a hopeful future for himself—falls into the trap of validating ikithon’s lies.

trent ikithon didn’t see and believe in caleb’s ‘full potential’ before anyone else did. he didn’t foresee a single ounce of the man’s struggle to put himself back together after what he suffered. caleb was not institutionalized to serve as a toy to one day pull back out of the closet. there was no feeblemind or other secretive plan that could only serve to obfuscate the brutal truth:

ikithon abused a boy until he shattered, and tried to hide the evidence. a crime that he’s committed against countless other children. plain and simple.

so that’s my piece.

caleb widogast—bren ermendrud—was not the victim of a premeditated feeblemind from ikithon, based on the mechanics of the spell. even more importantly, the narrative of his and ikithon’s stories would suffer if he was.

now,

A LOGICAL POSSIBILITY I WON’T DENY.

what if ikithon feebleminded him as a method to subdue him after the breakdown?

this is more or less an alternate theory that’s irrelevant to the points i actually wanted to make. but i want to talk about it anyway because it’s kind of fun.

fact the bonus: bren spent eleven years in the sanatorium.

eleven years is a long time. he would’ve been able to save every 30 days after the initial failed save. the exandrian calendar has about eleven 30-day periods every year. assuming a feeblemind spell cast on him just prior to his institutionalization, that’s somewhere around 121 possible save attempts, give or take a few.

what’s the likelihood of him actually saving? to go through the mechanics:

normally, feeblemind reduces a person’s intelligence score to 1, modifier -5. caleb, as a variant human, possessed the feat keen mind from the beginning both mechanically and story-wise. this would make his intelligence score 2, modifier -4, even after feeblemind.

as a level 1-2 wizard, he would’ve had proficiency in intelligence saves. this would be +2 to his save.

in total, the modifier to bren’s intelligence saves would be -2.

in order to cast feeblemind, trent ikithon would have to have been a minimum level 15 wizard. this leaves two possible proficiency bonuses to determine his spell save dc: +5 or +6.

it’s probably safe to assume that his intelligence score is at least 18–20, likely 20. this would be a modifier of +4 or +5. (his intelligence could be 22+ if matt wanted to be a real dick, but let’s assume otherwise.)

spell save dc = 8 + spellcasting score mod (for wizards, this is intelligence) + proficiency bonus.

this means trent ikithon’s possible spell save dc is somewhere from 17–19.

therefore:

at minimum—17 being ikithon as a level 15–16 wizard with an intelligence score of 18–19 at the time of casting—bren would have to roll a 19 or nat 20 to make the save with his -2 save modifier.

at a dc of 18—ikithon either being level 17–20 or having an intelligence score of 20, but not both—bren would have to roll a nat 20.

at a dc of 19(+), it would be impossible for bren to save without additional bonuses such as bless.

i don’t have the brainpower to calculate some real statistical probabilities, but depending on your opinion of trent ikithon’s probable capabilities at the time of bren’s mental break, he may have been able to save against feeblemind sometime during the eleven years he spent at the sanatorium.

naturally, this has the earlier-mentioned conundrum of remembering that return of clarity once he was healed by the cleric, should ikithon have been retrieved to recast the feeblemind and altered his memories. nevertheless, it may or may not be a fun thought to play around with.

#caleb widogast #trent ikithon #blumendrei #cr #cr meta #critical role #critical role meta #critrole #bren aldric ermendrud #bren ermendrud #abuse cw #mental institution cw #prim post #prim says some things #long post

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thinkingisadangerouspastime · 3 years

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(pt 1) i really enjoy all your atla analyses & you've done a great job breaking down the usual arguments re how eip shows that kataang shouldn't have happened. i'm curious about your take on one specific argument that i just saw today, in an analysis of the show by a zker that was otherwise quite good and respectful (i know you've already talked about eip a lot, so no problem if you don't feel like rehashing). the premise: aang didn't just pressure katara in eip, he threatened her.

(pt 2) they point to when katara joins aang & asks if he’s alright: “aang: no, i’m not! i hate this play! katara: i know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting. aang: overreacting? if i hadn’t blocked my chakra, i’d probably be in the avatar state right now!” the suggestion is he’s threatening her when he says ‘i’d probably be in the avatar state right now’ to describe his anger. i think this take exaggerates and oversimplifies it, but interested in your thoughts on it.

Hello my friend!! It is true I am Old inside and don’t like rehashing dhdlksjslks BUT your comments on my posts are always incredibly kind and insightful so I am more than willing to do a bit of rehashing for you 🥰 Besides! I’ve seen this general take before a few times and it’s always irked me for the exact reason you point out - it simultaneously exaggerates and oversimplifies the situation (and honestly that’s an impressive duality since it’s seemingly contradictory, so hats off to them lmaooo) - and now is as good a time as any to address it. So, for starters, let’s go ahead and get the excerpt they love to focus on so much:

Cut to Aang standing alone on a balcony. Katara enters and walks up to him.

Katara: Are you all right?

Aang: [Angered.] No, I’m not! I hate this play! [Yanks his hat off and throws it on the ground.]

Katara: I know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting.

Aang: Overreacting? If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!

Here’s the thing about so-called analyses of this excerpt: in a manner extremely convenient to the poster, they never seek to contextualize this moment. (I mean, to do so would deplatform their entire “argument” - perhaps that’s why they avoid performing a full analysis?) So let’s avoid that pitfall from the start.

Firstly, below are some links to related posts; I’m going to do my best to summarize the most relevant parts, but for anyone who desires greater detail, I gotchu 😤

This post explains why EIP (the play, lol) is imperialist propaganda and is intended to belittle the entire Gaang.

This post explains how Aang never acted “entitled” to Katara’s affections, particularly in regard to EIP.

This post breaks down the infamous EIP kiss like Snopes Fact Checker, covering common misconceptions, important perspectives to consider, etc.

Alright. With that out the way, it’s time for some context.

Aang and Katara have this conversation on the balcony after watching 95% of “The Boy in the Iceberg,” a play chock-full of Fire Nation propaganda that demeans the entire Gaang in order to prop up the Fire Nation as superior (hence why the play ends with Ozai’s victory). Here is my general breakdown of Aang and Katara’s treatment in particular from a previous post:

- katara, an indigenous woman, is highly sexualized and portrayed as overly dramatic and tearful, because the fire nation objectifies women not of their own people and views them as less intelligent and less emotionally stable

- aang, the avatar, the sole survivor of the fire nation’s genocide of the air nomads who is incredibly in-touch with his spirituality and femininity, is portrayed as an overly-airy and immature woman. the fire nation portrays him with a female actor to demean him (like, that’s classic imperialistic propagandist tactics) and furthermore writing his character as a childish airhead reinforces the fire nation sentiment that the air nomads were weak, foolish people who did not deserve to exist in their world

In other words, these kids have just watched almost an entire play that preys upon their insecurities and depicts them using racist and sexist stereotypes about their respective nations. It is completely understandable that tensions might run a little high and that their interactions would not be as balanced as usual (Katara and Aang have a great track record of communicating well with each other, as it happens!).

So we have to keep that in mind when examining the aforementioned excerpt. But there are other factors to consider, too! Namely: they are kids. Children. Teens. Aang is 12, Katara is 14.

If we want to be scientific, a person’s brain doesn’t finish developing until they are 25, lmao, and the preteen/teen years are when the prefrontal cortex that controls “rationality,” “judgement,” “forethought,” etc. is still developing. This doesn’t mean Aang and Katara are irrational and make poor decisions 24/7 (obviously not), but it does mean that in an intense, highly emotional situation, like after watching a play that intentionally demeans them and depicts them as inferior, they are more likely to overreact, more likely to be emotional, and more likely to make mistakes. Like, I’m serious, lol. “Teens process information with the amygdala.” That’s part of the brain that helps control emotions! It’s why teens sometimes struggle to articulate what we’re thinking, especially in situations that require instinct/impulse and quick decisions, because we’re really feeling whenever we make those choices. Acting more on emotion. Our brains simply haven’t finished developing the decision-making parts, lmao.

In sum: Aang and Katara are both kids, not adults, and should be interpreted as such. This doesn’t negate their intelligence, because they are both incredibly smart and Aang is arguably the wisest of the Gaang, but they are human. Young humans. They have emotions, and we should not be so cruel as to assume they’d never act on them.

So taking that all together, we can now acknowledge the high stress Aang and Katara are under, understand why they might be upset (*cough* imperialist propaganda is hurtful *cough*), and examine how their youth might play into their emotional reactions. And funny thing - all analyses that come to the conclusion of Aang “threatening” Katara here do not usually bother with this context. I can’t imagine why!

And you know what, let’s add one more piece of context: Sokka states that Aang left the theater “like, ten minutes ago,” which is what cues Katara to go look for him on the balcony. The reason I mention this line is because to me, it suggests Aang knew he was more worked up than usual! He chose to separate himself from his friends so he could process his frustration! He did not take his anger at the play out on them; instead, he purposefully took time and space to be alone.

With that in mind, I don’t understand at all how Aang’s Avatar state quote could be interpreted as a threat? Canonly, Aang is someone who was aware enough of his frustration to separate himself from the others - yet the logical next step is him threatening Katara as a result? He knew his intense emotions were because of the play (which he says himself), so the logical conclusion is that he then pinned the fault on Katara? What?? Sorry, that interpretation has no textual basis, lmao. But I digress!

Aang tells Katara, “If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!” As you said, this is the line people point to in an attempt to justify their (baseless) conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. So let’s bring in the two key pieces of context: imperialist propaganda and age. Given that Aang is 12, and given that Aang has just watched almost a full play that demeans him and everything his people stood for (and let’s not forget it also mocks his and Katara’s love for each other)…

His reaction is understandable. An exaggeration and needlessly dramatic, but understandable. He feels vulnerable and insecure and Aang is human. He is human and flawed and he overreacts here and I love that A:TLA shows how even our heroes, even people who are truly good at heart and in soul, can get overly upset (especially given the aforementioned circumstances!). Would Aang actually be in the Avatar state at that moment, had it been possible? Of course not! He’s young and he’s hurt and as such he says something dramatic to convey his anxieties and frustrations. The line is not meant to be taken literally, and seeing people do so despite all the factors that should be taken into consideration when analyzing it… Cue a long, tired sigh from me and so many other A:TLA fans.

And to be honest? I cannot fathom how people watch this episode and come to the conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. To me, this episode - besides being a recap episode - is one that humanizes our cast even further. Aang snaps at Katara, kisses her when he shouldn’t (which the story appropriately treats as wrong). Katara pushes down her true feelings and retreats into herself, afraid to start a relationship with the boy she loves because she’s already lost him once before and can’t bear to do so again. Zuko further confronts the hurt he’s enacted upon others, especially upon Iroh. Toph practices being vulnerable and accepting vulnerability from others by conversing with Zuko. Sokka witnesses how others have erased his contributions and labelled him as nothing more than the token nonbender in the group. Even Suki learns that she is not the only person who holds a place in Sokka’s heart and that she can never replace what he has lost.

To watch this episode where our heroes must come to terms with how the Fire Nation deems them inherently inferior, with how they have more fights to overcome in the future with the Fire Nation than a single war, and to come to the conclusion that… that what, Aang is abusive? A monster? Irredeemable? That he would threaten his best friend, someone he loves in every way?

Wow. That says more than enough about the viewer, doesn’t it?

#getting back into the swing of things babey ✌️#aang #katara #kataang #kataangtag #the ember island players #atla #avatar the last airbender #amy answers #dramaticowl #amy analyzes #also i am speaking in GENERAL TERMS here lmaooo this is not a direct response to any one post 😂😂

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theseerasures · 3 years

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For the meta thing, how about big sisters with absent mothers: Winter and Yang? Like, how they dealt with things differently and what a friendship between them would look like

anon i just want you to know that as soon as received this ask i barged into my girlfriend’s room to be like “is this you???” because this ask is so EXQUISITELY tailored to my personal interests that i was like “literally who else would cater to me like this” and it was not her, apparently!!! so thank you very much for this ask.

of course i have SO MANY thoughts about this topic that it took me a complete month to marshal them into something faintly coherent, if staggeringly long, so. i hope it’s worth the wait.

S(chnee)-side: how to lose brothers and alienate sisters

let’s start from some well-trodden ground: the season 5 character shorts, and their subsequent caricaturization via Chibi, which posit the Yang vs. Winter dichotomy as something like “Yang loves Ruby by diving into a monster’s mouth for her, and telling her she always has her back, and Winter does the same for Weiss by...siccing monsters on her, and telling her that she won’t always be around to save her from them.” much hay has already been made about the reasons why the two of them would act in the ways they did, so for the purposes of my own meta i’m going to skip over those, and concentrate on how content since season 5 has updated these conceptions.

and on Winter’s end of things, these conceptions have been updated by showing that she’s, uh.

...full of shit.

we’ve now had TWO instances of Winter going above and beyond to protect someone vulnerable. the first time was for Penny, with whom she has a sisterly bond, and the second time was for Ren, with whom she has...exchanged a few lines of dialogue. if she’s so ready and willing to hurl herself bodily into the path of an aggressor for someone who is basically a stranger, then why all the pageantry with Weiss about how she can’t (or won’t) save her? did she carve some kind of blood relative exemption into her saving people thing? does it only apply to people who wear a lot of green?¹

to properly address this question--and to bring in the Willow of it all--i think we should step back and ask: how does Winter actually feel about the Schnee name?

not Jacques’ name, mind. nor anything he did to besmirch it. Willow’s name, and Winter’s birthright.

because what has always been interesting to me is that while Weiss has talked about reclaiming or rehabilitating the Schnee name from their father’s meddling and still clearly wants to reconcile herself with it, even after being disinherited, Winter has only ever talked about distancing. it’s entirely possible that she had similar aspirations when she was around Weiss’ age and was just more thoroughly disabused of them, but my point stands: Winter shows a discomfort with the Schnee name overall in a way that Weiss has yet to. you don’t have to look any further than Winter’s combat style to see how this discomfort is telegraphed, as she barely uses any Dust, or Glyphs, and the one aspect of her Semblance that she does use and tout are Summons, which just so happens to be the part that emphasizes her own individual ability to conquer foes. something about the Schnee name feels irreconcilably tainted for Winter,² and while i’m sure a large part of it has to do with her father, who can make her explode into emotion confetti by just being in the same room as her for thirty seconds, a not-insignificant part can probably be chalked up to the fact that...

Willow Schnee was probably never all that good a mother.

granted: we’ve have exactly one scene (two if you count the 8.2 sneak peek) with her, so i’m fully ready to be called Boo Boo the Fool if we get a flashback and Willow was some kind of crusading super-mom prior to her descent into alcoholism, but. the idea that she hasn’t ALWAYS had to compromise herself and her children just to get by feels facile. this is not to victim blame, but to say that Willow is an imperfect person (in that she is. a person) placed into a horrific situation, which means that she could not always deal with the situation perfectly. it’s important to remember her agency--both before and after she became an alcoholic--but it’s just as important not to idealize it into something it’s not. Willow was by no means a co-abuser to her children, but she was probably always inconsistent, because living with your abuser for years on end does that to you. personally, i’ve always envisioned pre-alcoholism Willow as...well-meaning and much more perceptive and intelligent than people give her credit for, but beset with her own flaws that grew in proportion to her hurt and bitterness. she was capable of shielding her children from her husband’s worst excesses, and often did; but she was just as capable of retreating when she might have fought, of excusing Jacques’ actions to try to keep the peace, even of lashing out at those who shouldn’t have to handle her negative emotions.

her descent into alcoholism exacerbated these tendencies, but Willow has always been a complicated woman, and the idea that there was a prelapsarian time when Willow was an unmitigated good, before...idk, her Good battery ran out and she became Drunk Victim Non-Mom, is...well, it’s definitely something that a ten-year-old who had an ENORMOUSLY traumatic birthday would believe (and blame herself for), but Winter might disagree. i don’t think her view would be any more objective, if only because the day Winter Schnee has an un-myopic thought is the day i pass gracefully into the West, but her view is probably more complicated and less flattering, because Winter knew her mother more as a person, and that’s something we’re gonna talk about more with Yang and Ruby, later.

the point i want to make now, with Winter, is that her determined inconstancy, where she’ll readily jump into the jaws of a monster for her siblings in one breath and berate them and caution them against needing her in the next--that comes from her experience with Willow. the lesson she wants her siblings to learn is not just “the people who are supposed to love you are cruel, so get a helmet,” but “the people who are supposed to love you disappoint you, which is worse, so it’s better to not rely on them at all.”³ better for them to learn it from her than firsthand, but also--better for herself, because when she does disappoint them (and she did. she left.) at least she can take comfort in the fact that surely it doesn’t hurt as much; she warned them, after all.

in Winter’s mind, this kind of disappointment is an inevitability, so what’s paramount is to make sure that when it does happen her siblings are at least prepared for it. in the face of that the fact that she would actually risk life and limb to help them if they ever need it falls to the wayside; i don’t think it was a mindful decision that Winter consciously made--like, i don’t think she ever thought “i’m going to withhold the fact that i would die for them because that would contradict the whole social Darwinism thing i’m trying to drill into their heads,” because Winter’s just...not that kind of deliberate rational actor, in any arena. rather--and maybe even more damning--i think she just assumes that Weiss and Whitley already KNOW, that it’s a given for them the sacrifices she’d make for them in the same way it’s a given for her. but they don’t! because you have to say these things, and Winter has been force-feeding them the precise opposite.

ultimately all of these contradictory impulses stem from Winter’s deep-seated need for control--both of herself, and of the environments around her, and those in turn come from the fact that she was a) repeatedly wounded as a child and b) had to shoulder responsibilities far beyond her own ability as that same child, which...continues to this day. from this perspective, what matters is less keeping her siblings safe, and more her own ability to save them. she knows that’s imperfect, so she compensates by enforcing what worked for her onto them, and also by keeping them away from anything that could harm them, without their input. i never thought much of the contrast in environments for the character shorts--like of course Weiss would spar with Winter’s Summons at home like the untested shut-in she was--but what did take me aback was that in season 7, after Weiss has waltzed across an entire continent and been promoted to a full Huntress, Winter...still exclusively trains Weiss with her Summons up in Atlas, while Ruby and Yang are traipsing across Mantle killing ACTUAL Grimm. i have no doubt that this was for foreshadowing reasons, but still: it points to the fact that for all Winter loves Weiss and would fight giant monsters for her, there’s a part of her that...doesn’t trust Weiss, and wants to maintain control over her.⁴

this, i think, is part of the reason why Whitley treats her basically like an un-person: it’s not just that she left when he was too young and Jacques filled in all the gaps with lies and slander, it’s also that even when Winter was around the bigger age gap made it much easier for her to reconcile keeping him out of the loop, for his own good. she can’t ever be vulnerable around either of her siblings, but especially not Whitley, because he’s too young; he might let something slip when they’re around Jacques, and she shouldn’t be putting that kind of burden on him anyway. if he resents her when she’s just trying to protect him--except you said that you wouldn’t, Winter you absolute moron--then that’s his prerogative. it doesn’t change her own responsibilities. they can be miserable and Byronic in their own separate cubby holes and it’s fine.

(it’s not fine.)

R(ose)⁵-side: tonight, the role of Replacement Goldfish will be played by...everyone

let’s get one thing out of the way: Yang is a GOOD big sister, and some of the ways that she is good can be chalked up to the fact that she had a better home life, but only some. her character short ends with her promising Ruby that she’ll always have her back after spending the short proving it, and she has--until recently, and we’ll get to that--lived up to it. people get caught up on how much time Yang spends with Blake nowadays, but it’s important to remember that the entire impetus for Yang reuniting with anyone during the Mistral arc was about Ruby. so is the thing that separates a Yang from a Winter is that a Yang preaches what she practices, and isn’t firing a million zillion mixed signals at all times?

well--yeah, basically, but we’re gonna make a big thing out of it anyway.

what made Yang and Ruby different from the Schnees--even before the character shorts--was a sense of parity. in contrast to Winter insisting on maintaining a) the most unapproachable facade in the world, and b) a death-grip on every situation at all times, Yang was characterized from the outset as...chill (ironically). despite her Semblance being LITERALLY hotheadedness, Yang’s passionate energy never manifested in any real desire to take charge. the fact that she was fine (even happy!) with Ruby being bumped up to her year and then becoming leader speaks volumes to how much Yang trusts and respects Ruby’s judgement. rather than try to mask her flaws, she exudes this kind of...radiant fallibility and lets Ruby take care of her, or keep her in line. they complement each other: Yang takes care of more grounded concerns like individual fights and making friends, while Ruby--again, until recently--set more abstract goals and gave them moral direction.

a lot of this can be attributed to the smaller age gap, but i think it also comes from growing up as two motherless free-range children on an island--and the motherlessness is obviously a huge deal for both of them. when i started writing this i honestly thought i’d talk more about Raven, since she’s the mom who’s actually a character already, and her absence plays a huge role in how Yang deals with her abandonment issues in the present, but to be honest: the loss that cut the deepest for Ruby AND Yang is Summer, because Summer was actually around enough to be lost. despite the show frequently dividing custody of Team STRQ right down the middle between Ruby and Yang, where Ruby “gets” Summer and Qrow and Yang “gets” Tai and Raven, it’s the admixture of Rose and Branwen that makes the two of them who they are.⁶ Yang spent more time with Summer, but Ruby spends more time with Qrow, who is Yang’s blood uncle, so the dichotomy between nature and nurture is fascinatingly blurred.

i know this is an unpopular opinion, but i hope Summer really is dead, because the ways that her daughters interpellate their own identities from her absence drives so much of the story. that SUMMER was the first mother Yang lost--not Raven, because Yang didn’t even know about Raven until Summer died--is what shapes her relationship with Ruby, but also her relationship with Raven. what’s always simmering just below the surface of any Yang-Raven confrontation is that the person Yang actually wanted to find the whole time she was looking for Raven was Summer, because she wanted a mom, and a mom looked like Summer. Raven’s not stupid--it might be her one redeeming quality--so it’s likely that she’s always known and resented this. it’s not an accident that the moment Yang stopped looking for Raven for Raven and started looking for her for an easy conduit to her real family was the moment she actually found Raven.⁷ it was the first step to Yang outgrowing her old habits, of waiting for a mother to return--a classic “she needed a hero so that’s what she hurdy blah”

in a way that’s what she’s been doing this whole time. in contrast to Winter, who compensated for her mother’s flaws by ratifying them into universal law, Yang did the same by defying their supposed truth: people might leave her, but she won’t leave Ruby, and Ruby won’t leave her. it’s telling that whenever Yang leaves--even as a literal child--she always took Ruby with her, even if she planned on coming back. (it’s just as telling that when Winter left she didn’t.) she’ll always be there for Ruby, to give her the boost she needs to become the Summer they all want her to be, which means being a little of Summer herself--the part of Summer that baked cookies and slew monsters. and in return Ruby gave her...a sense of certainty, i think: that Ruby needs her and therefore won’t leave, but also that Ruby has the parts of Summer that Yang can’t muster herself--the grand heroic ideal, the moral certitude, etc.

...and now we’re finally gonna talk about the Schism, which i honestly think is the best thing that has happened to their relationship, development-wise. by the end of the Mistral arc Yang has arrived at a healthier perspective with respect to her relationships with everyone: now it’s not about indiscriminately giving herself away to people in the hopes that they might not leave her, but about choosing to give herself away to the people she loves and trusts. on one level this should not conflict with her relationship with Ruby at all, because Yang loves Ruby, but on another...the fact that Yang no longer feels obligated to perform unending support, to be the grounded complement, to fill in the parts of Summer that Ruby can’t--of COURSE that’s going to bring about conflict. because it turns out Yang never needed Ruby to give her direction or discipline. she’s now had time to think of the things she herself values, and those...don’t exactly match up with Ruby’s--or Summer’s.⁸ Yang, having known Summer as a mother, having been confronted repeatedly with the fallibility of mothers, is starting to outgrow Summer, and grow separately from Ruby.

but growing separately doesn’t have to mean growing apart, and i think Yang, at least, knows this. she clearly feels Some Kinda Way about their disagreement (and Blake’s implicit alignment with Ruby), but she’s also confident enough in her own beliefs by this point to commit to them. Yang’s taking charge instead of deferring to Ruby, and it turns out that...she’s actually not a bad leader herself, since she and Jaune have pretty much split a lot of those responsibilities. for her it’s not a question of losing faith or love in Ruby as a person, but about discovering what she herself fights for.

Ruby...sees it differently, because Ruby sees Summer differently. if Yang has always defined herself against Summer by deciding that she can NEVER fully be Summer, so she’ll make do with what she can, then Ruby’s always defined herself against Summer by marking Summer as the endpoint of her personal trajectory. what Ruby knows of Summer--that she was a person who enjoyed life and did not believe in original sin, that had a magical special destiny that was totally fine and awesome and didn’t drive her to her death, that she was a baker of cookies and slayer of monsters--is what Tai and Qrow--and Yang--told her about Summer, because Ruby was too young to remember the real Summer. so Summer for her is this abstract paragon to live up to, and no more. she can’t possibly exceed Summer, because the Summer Ruby knows encompasses literally all that is good.

when Yang tells Ruby “i’ve always got your back” in the short, a lot of it is about Yang, and the ways Yang needed to be there for other people so they’ll be there for her in return. but it’s also something Ruby really needed to hear, because Ruby needed the security and comfort of knowing that even if she screws up there are people around her who can help shoulder the burden. that security already took a serious hit after Yang lost her arm, but Ruby, kind and generous person that she is, was able to reconcile with that, because YANG HAD JUST LOST HER ARM. it would be ridiculous to expect Yang to have her back the way she used to, and besides--it was time she grew up, and growing up means becoming more like Summer, all of Summer, by herself.

and...she gets pretty far, is the thing, because Ruby IS a lot like Summer, and is incredible and amazing all by herself to boot, but the point is that no one should feel this much pressure to be All That Is Good, especially when you’re a teen. Ruby’s not ready to recognize that, partly because at this point so many people are looking to her for leadership, but also because being Summer’s heir is the only real link she has to her mom.⁹ so she hunkers down and does the best she can, in a situation that has far spiraled beyond anybody’s control...and then Yang tells her that it’s not working out, that this time it’s not that she can’t have Ruby’s back, but that she won’t. in Ruby’s mind, this could only mean one of two things: either Yang no longer believes what Ruby believes--what Summer believed, or...Yang no longer believes in Ruby, because she wasn’t good enough.

and well. it’s Ruby. it’s not hard to guess which reason she’s picking right now, especially since she pretty conspicuously refused to call the shots during the Amity heist.

but this is of course a false dichotomy. it’s not about which one of them is right, or even more right, and the show does a very good job with the framing to show that both of them have a point. similarly, what Ruby needs right now is neither confirmation that her long-held beliefs are objectively the best ones, nor that she is good enough to become Summer after all. no; what she needs instead is the knowledge that she’s allowed to fuck up, to deviate from what people have told her about Summer, to become what Summer never was. that’s something Yang can--and will--help her work out.

oh no this analogy is breaking apart: how they’d get along

...oi.

look, even beyond the fact that Winter doesn’t get along with ANYONE over much, i don’t think there’s any universe where she wouldn’t immediately rub Yang the wrong way. not only because Winter’d initially treat Ruby with the same cold tyranny that she (up until very recently) treats Weiss, but also because Yang’s partner is Blake, and--to say nothing of Atlas/Schnee-on-Faunus oppression--she was personally made collateral during the fallout with Blake’s abuser.¹⁰ i myself wouldn’t say that Winter abused Weiss, but to Yang’s protective and skewed view...

well, can you imagine Weiss trying to explain the way Winter ~~~trained her to the Bees? “oh, she sent a pack of Beowolves to hunt me! it was a meant-to-lose fight and when i started doing well she just moved the goalposts. one of her wolves almost ate me before i begged her to stop but it...probably...wouldn’t have...it was fine! my Aura didn’t dip THAT much. Winter’s the best!!” Yang’s hair would have been on fire after the first sentence, is all i’m saying. this coupled with the fact that Yang would very likely view Winter leaving Weiss and Whitley through the lens of Raven doing the same thing to her, and i think it would take a pretty long time for the two of them to see eye to eye on anything.

which is not to say that they have nowhere to go but antagonism, because at their cores Winter and Yang both have a) no hesitation whatsoever when it comes to protecting the people they care about and b) a tendency to define protection literally, often bodily. the difference is that Yang’s Semblance weaponizes these protective instincts for her, and she learned the limits of taking that too far. Winter...doesn’t, and hasn’t.¹¹ that COULD lead to some interesting conversations, but i don’t think Yang has quite the emotional clarity and generosity to reckon with that yet, and they’re not about to talk about it inside the Giant Whale.

a necessary part of Winter’s development is learning to respect the people around her instead of instantly categorizing them into boxes labeled “to fight” and “to protect and order around.” her friction with Yang could be an intriguing way to explore that; i have no doubt, for example, that Winter would have hurled herself between Elm and Yang just as readily as she had between Elm and Ren. similarly, i think if Winter ever were in the same room with both Raven and Yang she’d last about ten seconds before trying to rip Raven’s hair out with her teeth, because Raven is neglectful and casually demeaning in ways that are instantly recognizable to Winter (in the same way they were to Weiss).¹² the issue is that her doing any of these things for Yang--y’know, the same Yang who IMMEDIATELY gave Blake the cold shoulder when she tried to pull the whole “i’ll protect you” crap--is that she would only find it confusing and frustrating, and likely wouldn’t mince words expressing that.

Yang’s a big sister herself, and therefore knows all the big sister tricks, and Yang has a consistent pattern of not wanting to rely on other people, particularly people she sees as adults. so the best path toward a Winter and Yang friendship is probably not the head-on approach, but obliquely through someone else. that someone else can’t be Weiss, because Yang would be already hypervigilant about the way Winter treats Weiss--but it could be Ruby. even putting aside the fact that she is now one of the most important people in the world for BOTH her sisters, Ruby herself is very easy to love, and Winter loves very easily, despite herself. what they have in common--idealism and a martyr complex--would also engender some cool interactions, and Ruby would let Winter take care of her, if only to make Winter feel better.

i could see that being the impetus for Yang tentatively, grudgingly forming her own friendship with Winter, because there ARE things that Winter can give Yang, even if Yang can’t (or won’t) admit she wants them. it’s nice to try out being the kid sister, once in a while.

still, even if they get that far: i can’t imagine their relationship as anything friendlier than this.

¹ tbh neither would actually surprise me; what Winter does and doesn’t let herself do is only knowable to the Gods Who Have Forsaken This Land, and they’re certainly unknowable to Winter herself.

² maybe she knows that the whole “the Schnees were up-from-bootstraps-good-capitalists until that guy Jacques came along” thing is stupid!! i don’t care that he’s Santa Nicholas Schnee ain’t shit

³ this i think is why the current thing with Ironwood is such a bitter pill to swallow, because...she thought she’d been so careful. not in thinking that she’d chosen a man who couldn’t disappoint her, but in caring so deeply about him and investing so much of herself into him, despite the fact she’s only ever let herself call him “sir,” or “General.”

⁴ though i will say, to give Winter some credit: she actually accepts the fact that her sister is totally her own person now with a lot more aplomb than i’d expected, both in the “you stole an airship” scene and during all of Sparks. i wouldn’t be so generous as to read subtle treason into her disclosure of Ironwood’s Winter Maiden plans, but it does point to Winter’s desire for control being much more easily unlearned than that of her boss.

⁵ geddit? it’s a joke about handed-ness because now they both have the Hand Tremor

⁶ Tai is, as always and on purpose, the stabilizing agent. “appropriately underwhelming,” as Winter might put it, but absolutely essential.

⁷ of course then Raven had the gall to resent THAT too, because she’s the worst, and...see above, about Winter Schnee’s self-unknowing.

⁸ curiously, the values that Yang most espouses now--the importance of knowing what you’re getting into, protecting what is tangible, what is within your ability--are a) hard-won from years of taking care of Ruby and b) ones that she shares with Raven. the only difference is that Yang’s circle of protection extends far beyond Raven’s, which only includes herself.

⁹ weirdly enough the best person to talk to Ruby about this might be Raven, who has a very skewed perception of Summer herself (because Raven’s perception of EVERYONE is generally fucked up), but probably won’t hold back when talking about Summer’s flaws. Ruby won’t want to hear any of it, but i think she needs to.

¹⁰ i do think Blake and Winter would have some interesting conversations, if Blake ever...was generous enough to deal with *gestures at all of Winter.* it’s easier to compare Blake to Willow given the shared nature of their interpersonal abuse, but Winter on the other hand knows what it’s like to be hand-picked and groomed by a charismatic man with a singular vision who ended up wholly compromising that vision for the sake of their personal ego. that the White Fang are a good force perverted while the Atlesian Military is rotten to the core would...make the conversation more lively? it’s probably fine?

¹¹ “i’m Winter Schnee and i have maladaptive coping mechanisms that i am currently clinging to, as a maladaptive coping mechanism”

¹² though there...probably IS a world where Raven and Winter end up getting along after the initial skirmish, and it disturbs Yang and Qrow to no end

#Anonymous #yang xiao long #winter schnee #rwby #tl;dr they both play vanguard when they play mass effect #helen writes meta

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strangertheory · 3 years

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Hi! I don't think I've seen you comment on Noah's recent fanmio call where he once again casually talked about Byler. I was wondering what your thoughts were, as I value your opinion. Do you think he's teasing Byler because he knows it's endgame and just doesn't care about spoiling stuff? Or do you think he's talking about it because it's actually not gonna be canon and he's just like "yeah you guys will have lots of scenes to fuel your ship in S4!" (but platonic)? Anyway, I just want to say that I really appreciate your blog and reading your thoughts and I've been following you for more than a year now! Lots of love <3

I think that Noah is acknowledging Byler's relevance to season 4 because at this point in time he's allowed to do so because whether Byler is relevant to the story is not the most important or most mysterious question that we should be asking at this point in the series.

In my opinion the way in which Noah has answered these questions implies that there is a conditional "Yes, but!" that we should be aware of. Yes, but you'll see. Yes, but it's complicated. Yes, but it's not what any of you expect.

I'm aware that there is a lot of skepticism in the fan community and that there are even fans that insist that the subtext in the show that Byler fans have picked up on is completely imagined. As you probably know: I strongly disagree. I think the subtext is very intentional. But just because certain parts of the fan community have treated Byler like a controversial or unlikely idea doesn't mean that this is the same perspective or priority that the production team has taken in all considerations. Perhaps the production team has enjoyed allowing fans to argue over these types of details for long enough and they've finally decided that whether or not Byler is relevant to the story is not as surprising a question as fans think it is. Maybe they want our focus to extend beyond "is Byler going to be canon" and for us to instead ask "in what way will the potential for an eventual romantic relationship between Mike and Will be addressed and revealed in the story?"

I strongly suspect that the way in which Mike and Will's relationship will be written is not what fans might expect.

I think that Byler will not be what fans entirely expect it to be, and that this will be for multiple reasons.

I think that it's possible that the way in which either Mike or Will navigates their internalized homophobia could create a lot of complexities in their relationship.

I also suspect, as I've addressed in other posts on my blog, that there is a meta-narrative in the show and that we might see some huge plot twists and revelations that impact all of the characters including Mike and Will and the way that they feel about each other.

I'm of the opinion that Noah casually saying that there is "some of [Byler]" in season 4 simply means that "Yes, the relationship and the idea of romance between Mike and Will is relevant to the plot" but we do not know in what way it will be written. Who has feelings for who? Are they requited or unrequited? If they both have feelings for each other will they be willing to pursue a relationship or will one or both of them decide that they don't want to deal with the social risk? Could one of them be in denial and angry if confronted about their feelings? What assumptions have we made about these characters and their stories that might turn out to be incorrect? What questions will remain unanswered by the end of season 4 and possibly even after season 5? What secrets in these characters' lives will impact this storyline in a way that is very different than what we might anticipate?

To me, the question has never been "Will Byler eventually be acknowledged and explored in canon?" but rather "How will Byler eventually be acknowledged and explored in canon?"

I am optimistic that Byler is deeply relevant to the story because I truly think that the writers have put a lot of careful thought into creating the details and foreshadowing that was woven into seasons 1-3, but my optimism is still rooted in my respect for the writers' ability to tell a compelling story about characters that I care about and not rooted in a very specific conditional expectation of how that story should be told. Sometimes when I see posts by other fans in the Stranger Things community I become worried that a few of us are narrowing our expectations so strictly that fans may be setting themselves up for disappointment.

If you take actors' statements affirming the relevance of Byler to season 4 as simply meaning "yes the idea of a possible romantic dynamic between Mike and Will is somewhat relevant to season 4," then I think that's a fairly reasonable idea. If you take Noah's statements to mean "Yes Mike and Will both return each others' feelings, Mike and Will start openly dating in season 4, Mike and Will clearly state their specific orientation with terms familiar to teenagers in 2021, they both come out to all their friends and family in the 1980s without anyone reacting badly to it, and they both live happily ever after" then I'm concerned that you might be demanding too specific an outcome and that specific expectation could hold you back from enjoying an otherwise very powerful alternate narrative that tells a different story than what you may have expected.

It can be exciting to speculate on what might happen in the show but I am doing my best to not allow my expectations to limit my enjoyment and appreciation for the canon story itself.

I think that it's important that we also recognize that season 4 is the penultimate season and that it is therefore an opportunity for the writers to both begin revealing certain secrets while also, potentially, creating more angst and conflict before resolving issues in season 5.

Thanks for Asking about my thoughts on this! I share everyone's excitement over Byler being acknowledged as relevant to season 4 by one of the actors, but I don't think we can assume to know what that means. And that's exciting! I want to be surprised. I want to be able to follow the hints and clues given to us in seasons 1, 2, and 3 and to be able to understand and appreciate the eventual plot twists and revelations but I don't want to fully anticipate every single moment or else there's nothing to look forward to.

#byler #stranger things #stranger things theories #stranger things 4 rumors #stranger things 4 speculation #stranger things 4 spoilers #stranger things 4 #long post

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chalkrevelations · 3 years

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Back, finally, with Word of Honor, Episode 11, which involved a lot of waving my hands around over precious button Zhang Chengling and his concern about whatever ridiculous argument between his Murder Dads left his shifu in a snit and must be solved right this minute. I really think if he could’ve just pushed their heads together like two Ken dolls to make them kiss and make up, he would have. Didi, I could eat you up with a spoon, although not in the creepy way that Du Pusa threatens. I promise.

First, though, due diligence: Spoilers, possibly likely for the entire show, not just this ep, so scroll away and come back later if you are still, at this point in the game, trying to watch the whole 36.5 eps unspoiled. Also, this is hella long. Strap in. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

First thing I actually want to do is point out a couple of scenes that I found particularly striking for various reasons. The first one is not quite the opening scene - which is super-brief and involves Yueyang’s prep for the Heroes Conference, Gao Shan (AKA Chengling’s bully-in-chief) being smug about Yueyang’s upcoming ascendance (oh boy, are you in for a surprise, you little schmuck), and Gao Chong’s extreme weariness at the idea of Yueyang’s upcoming ascendance. Gao Chong is very tired, y’all. It’s been a long 20 years. There’s also a ginormous sword on display, like Yueyang is now having a dick-measuring contest with who they think is the disciple of the Changming Sword Immortal (and oh boy, are you guys in for another surprise. I’m not sure what part of “immortal” y’all don’t understand). But I digress - as I said, this is a very brief scene, and then we cut back to Luo Mansion, where we left Ghost Valley and Lunatic Wen at the end of the last ep. Everyone is gone except for Wen Kexing, who’s still plotting, Beauty Ghost, who’s trying to stay tf out of this current shitshow as much as possible (good luck with that), and Tragicomic Ghost, who is totally and completely Done With This Shit. She berates WKX for acting crazy, he gets snappy back – I feel like their relationship is maybe a little bit fraught at this point – and Beauty Ghost attempts to soothe the waters, leading to an eyeroll from Tragicomic Ghost with a directive to stand the hell up and stop being scared of this idiot child throwing his weight around. WKX dismisses Tragicomic Ghost so he can plan a Very Secret Mission for Beauty Ghost in secret. WKX is … he is super-tired at this point. Painfully, achingly tired. I would almost say weary. We can see it in Gong Jun’s face. It’s a nice subtle bit of acting, and it definitely says something about WKX’s relationship with these women that he’s willing and able to show it in front of them, even as he’s still throwing his weight around.

Anyway, Liu Qianqiao proves her smarts by showing her hand just enough for WKX and us to see that she’s seen through the Lunatic Wen act to the utility of chokin’ out a dude as a warning, to try keeping Changing Ghost in line (good luck with that), but she also assures all of us that she only wants to serve the Ghost Valley Master and has no agenda of her own. WKX assures her that he has everything under control (Uh … huh. OK, my dude) and tells her he has a task for her, before detouring into a quiz about her disguise technique (learned from Qin Huaizhang, Zhou Zishu’s shifu at Siji Manor, and this is probably a tipoff that the Very Secret Mission will involve disguising herself), about Siji Manor, and about why she never visited there. We get some interesting vague hints about her past, including the fact that she met Qin Huaizhang when she was “little” and he took pity on her “disfigurement,” according to both the Youku and Netflix English subs. @coralcoloratura pulled out 童年时 (tóngnián shí) from the Chinese subs for me, which does mean “childhood.” Given that the going story is Yu Qiufeng’s wife threw acid in LQQ’s face over their affair, this opens up some questions about how old LQQ actually was when all that happened. Viki subs, per @janedrewfinally, add that she says she treated Qin Huaizhang to a meal, so she couldn’t have been too young. But Qin Huaizhang dies when ZZS is just 16, and LQQ can’t be any older than ZZS, and is likely younger (good lord, I just checked actor ages, and Ke Naiyu is 7 years younger than ZZH, so that’s probably not a good age gap to port over to the show, because just. No.). All this leads me to place LQQ at somewhere between Zhang Chengling’s age and Gu Xiang’s age (at most) when this whole tragic backstory happened, which is still pretty freakin’ young, and I can see why she would consider herself a child, at least metaphorically, in terms of naïvete, if not literally. I don’t know how much exploration has been done about this, on the fannish side of things, but it seems like an area rich for exploration. Also, I CANNOT TELL YOU how much I now want to read the AU of WKX and LQQ both actually being brought to Siji Manor at various times by Qin Huaizhang and staying there. I suspect that with those two shidi backing him, ZZS might never have had to go to Prince Jin in the first place. (Clearly this makes some things problematic, including A-Xiang, but I keep thinking about ZZS, WKX and LQQ growing up together … And anyway, I’m ALSO willing to read the AU(s) where WKX’s storyline stays the same, but LQQ does come to Siji Manor – both the AU where she and ZZS together manage to save the sect, and the AU where she goes with them to Jin, and the kind of weapon she could be for ZZS there, as he runs Tian Chuang. Who’s writing all this? Anyone? Anyone?) Anyway, when WKX asks why she didn’t visit Siji Manor, LQQ tells WKX that she’s a ghost now and doesn’t want to think about the living world anymore, which is probably a way of saying she wishes she had gone there and doesn’t want to talk about her many and varied bad decisions back in the day; it also acts as an unknowing reinforcement of that bright line WKX is desperately trying to maintain for himself between the world of ghosts and the world of humans. Plus it gives him the chance to speak the very portentous line that “Yes, we’re ghosts, and ghosts disappear in the light,” pulling the theme of light back in, again and giving us all kinds of foreshadowing. Cut away as he leans in to whisper her mission to her.

The other really striking scene, for me, happens near the end of the ep, when Gao Chong visits the shrine room, with the memorial tablets of his various brothers and friends. This hit me not just because of Hei Zi’s acting (which is great, don’t get me wrong) but also because this is a scene that reflects both backward and forward in the show - back to ZZS in Ep 1 and forward to the two scenes that Zhao Jing will have in this same room – as well as giving us all sorts of subtle clues about relationships throughout the show. So first of all, we see, in a shot that will mean more the deeper we get into the show, tablets for Zhen Ruyu and Gu Miaomiao (or, “his wife,” as the Youku subs call her, and this is me, rolling my eyes), who were apparently close enough to Gao Chong that he keeps memorial tablets for them on his home altar - which helps explain why WKX is so incensed that none of these Five Lakes Alliance assholes helped his parents when they were turned out of the Healer’s Valley, although that’s not something we would have known yet on a first watch through the show. Gao Chong lights some incense and apologizes to the tablet of Zhang Yusen for letting Zhang Chengling get kidnapped. He talks about waiting 20 years to learn the truth – which is kind of cryptic, but probably means the truth about who poisoned his sword before the spar with Rong Xuan, which we hear about in a later scene this ep – and gets a little bit salty about the fact that it doesn’t matter if everyone else doesn’t believe him, but why didn’t Zhang Yusen believe him? Again, I’m assuming this is about Gao Chong’s protestations that he’s not the one who put poison on his sword. We also learn in this same ep – from Chengling – that Zhang Yusen’s break with the Five Lakes Alliance seems to have at least started that far back, and that Yusen would have been at Mount Qingya to stand with Rong Xuan against his other Alliance brothers, if Yusen’s shifu hadn’t broken his legs so that he couldn’t travel there. (Yusen clearly had some strong feelings about this, if that’s what it took to get him to sit still for it. Also, it makes me wonder how Ye Baiyi’s feelings about Chengling might change if he ever learned that Chengling’s father intended to defend and stand with a guy who Ye Baiyi considered his own child, as well as his disciple.)

Gao Chong then proceeds to have a little crisis of faith – he’s very tired, y’all, it’s been a long 20 years – and talks about how no one understands him, and he’s old, and everyone’s dead. He also yells at Rong Xuan’s tablet, calling Rong Xuan da-ge but also saying he’s sorry he ever met him, but then there’s this brief little moment after, when he seems a little bit shocked at himself for saying it out loud, which reminds me, honestly, of the moment in CQL (we’ve all seen The Untamed, right, I don’t have to put spoiler warnings for it, right?) when Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are in the Yunmeng Jiang memorial hall and Wei Wuxian talks about Yu Ziyuan’s punishments back in the day, then pats his own mouth and says “My fault, my fault, my fault” before bowing to her tablet. Like, yes, their relationship was multiple levels of fucked-up, and his reaction is not out of place given some of his continuing neuroses, but also, this is just not a thing you do, speaking ill of the dead to their faces. I’m sure Gao Chong does regret ever meeting Rong Xuan, and the way that led to the building of the Armory and the Five Lakes Alliance to guard it, and the position that ultimately put Gao Chong in - not to mention that if he never met Rong Xuan he never would have accidentally killed him. But you can’t say things like that OUT LOUD to the MEMORIAL TABLET. Then contrast this to Zhao Jing, who literally takes a piss on the tablet in one of the later episodes. Because he’s the worst. And THEN, Gao Chong kneels and talks to the tablets of Zhang Yusen and Lu Taichong, his dead Five Lakes Alliance brothers, saying they must have met again in the netherworld, and that they’re probably swearing about him right now, and this is the point when I sit straight up and exclaim, out loud, “Fuck. Me. This is Zhou Zishu’s breakdown at the mirror in Episode 1.” When he talks to Jiuxiao about how Jiuxiao and Jing’An must have met again in the afterlife by now and are probably discussing what an awful shixiong ZZS is, right? And then Gao Chong even laughs bitterly like ZZS, and cries like ZZS, and I just. OK. FINE, show. I’ll try to go a little easier on Gao Chong, because you’re clearly linking him to ZZS, here, and I’m willing to forgive ZZS for anything. I suppose I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t try to extend just a little bit of the same grace to Gao Chong.

So, that’s a lot of verbiage, and I haven’t even gotten to Wenzhou yet, but trust me, I have some things to say about them. While WKX has been terrorizing the troops, ZZS left Han Ying’s place and immediately started drinking again, because that continues to be the best way – in combo with his Nails – he knows to kill himself by increments, but so sad, he’s run out of wine as he wanders the marketplace, alone and zhiji-less. Inside Yueyang, Chengling finds a note purporting to be from “Xu,” instructing him to meet at the North Gate that night, and like the little idiot they keep calling him (he really is too pure for this world), he takes it at face value. On his way that night, he runs into Gao Shan, who inadvertently almost saves him by interrupting his sneaking around to try to bully him back to his room. Something something food as bonding, because the lie Zhang Chengling comes up with is that he’s hungry (he’s not eating Yueyang’s food, and it’s not nourishing him), and he’s on his way to find something to eat (because he and his Murder Dads are in a mutually nourishing relationship, and that’s who he wants to be with). Also, no, he would prefer going to find something to eat for himself and not eating whatever Gao Shan will bring back to Chengling’s room. (A little bit, I’m sad there’s never any place to fit in some canon-complicit long-form enemies to failboats to lovers fic for these two. I have to admit, I would read it. Someone should do something with the tension between them, although I don’t really want it to be anything that will make Best Boy permanently sad.) Anyway, A-Xiang shows up just as Gao Shan is about to frog-march Chengling back to his room, and Gao Shan never sees her coming before he’s knocked out on the ground. A-Xiang is confused about the note but nevertheless helps Chengling get to where he’s supposed to meet “Xu,” whereupon she gets beat up and gets her didi took by the Scorpions. (There’s an interesting moment here where Pretty Arhat is fighting with A-Xiang and asks what her relationship is to Beauty Ghost, which whaaaaaat? THERE’S some backstory I need more on. I’m assuming this is based on A-Xiang’s hand-to-hand fighting style, which I think is the only thing Pretty Arhat has seen at this point, and exactly WHEN has she gotten so familiar with Beauty Ghost’s fighting style? Also, I like the apparent nod to Beauty Ghost’s influence in raising A-Xiang (and we’ll see more of this).) Meanwhile, ZZS has been inexorably drawn to the place he left his child disciple child and is moping right outside of Yueyang, so he sees Pretty Arhat fly away with Chengling. Murder Dad 1 springs into action.

Yueyang disciples run around like ants whose hill has been kicked over, looking for Chengling in town, and two of them encounter Wen Kexing, out for a midnight stroll in a fetching pastel blue and green combo. They ask him about seeing a guy. With a pipa. Or maybe without a pipa. So maybe just a guy. Wen Kexing correctly deduces they’re asking about Phantom Musician Qin Song, who covered Pretty Arhat’s getaway by incapacitating everyone with his magic music. YY disciples are excited and tell WKX yes, this dude was involved in kidnapping Zhang Chengling! Y’all. WKX’s face when he hears that. He is not happy. Almost immediately, he spots Qin Song on a rooftop. Murder Dad 2 springs into action.

So, WKX the Ghost Valley Master finds Qin Song, asks him where Chengling is, crushes his playing hand, threatens to break every single bone in his body one at a time (meanwhile dropping the tidbit that he learned the number of bones in the human body from his dad), and tells him a little story about a time when – apparently – he asked another guy the same question (about WHO? has A-Xiang been kidnapped in the past, because that’s about the only other person I can imagine him being like this about?) and only had to break 80 bones before he got an answer. Meanwhile, ZZS actually finds Chengling, in the Scorpion lair where Du Pusa and Pretty Arhat have variously been molesting him (srsly, I feel like I should probably say something to a trusted adult Murder Dad), torturing him with unpleasant magic pixie dust, smacking him around (he loses a tooth, y’all), and waterboarding him. During all this, Pretty Arhat says she’s yet to meet a man who can stand up to waterboarding, and I’m kind of reminded of WKX’s scene threatening Qin Song, and I don’t know if that’s on purpose or not. Chengling literally spits in her face and proclaims that he’s the son of Zhang Yusen, none of whose sons are cowards, and about then, ZZS busts down the door like he’s WKX (by throwing Monster Jiang through it), tells the Scorpions he’s their daddy, and gets into a big fucking fight with all three of them. He flags a little bit somewhere in here as he starts having some Nail pangs (which, yeah, it must be getting about midnight, which is when that’s supposed to happen) and spits some blood, but he reassures Chengling and then tells the Scorpions no one can stop him from killing who he wants and getting what he wants (OK, Wei Wuxian …). Then he shoots some projectiles from some little contraption up his sleeve that we get a quick look at that I did not remember AT ALL from my first watch of the show but is literally like the gun hanging over the mantel in the first act. Huh. Anyway, he kills Monster Jiang, and Du Pusa (who didn’t give a shit about Monster Jiang OR Qin Song earlier), wants to capture him alive, supposedly so she can get revenge for them by teaching him how it feels “to want to die more than live.” Joke’s on you, lady – too late! That’s literally his constant state of being!

About this time, Qin Song comes flying through the doors – or what’s left of them – gasping his last breath as WKX makes his dramatic entrance. Chengling not only calls him “Wen-shu” but also has already figured out exactly how to manipulate Murder Dad 2 and tells him that in addition to kidnapping him, they also hurt ZZS. WKX is predictably murderous, and Du Pusa and Pretty Arhat run away and hide behind the skirts of Xie Wang’s robes as the Zombie Drug Man Army approaches. WKX tells ZZS to take Chengling and leave, ZZS refuses, and Xie Wang LITERALLY SAYS “IN LIFE AND DEATH YOU WILL NEVER PART. WHAT A TOUCHING MOMENT.” and I am DYING. Also, this will not be the last time ZZS/WKX will exhibit what Xie’er wants from his Awful Yifu. Anyway, Xie’er calls ZZS “Leader Zhou,” then tells WKX that he’ll tell them who he (Xie Wang) is if WKX tells them all who he is first. ZZS is Very Done with all of this and smoke bombs the Scorpions to escape. Xie’er shows he actually does know who both of them are – even though each of them doesn’t know everything about the other’s identity yet, and won’t for a while – by telling Du Pusa and Pretty Arhat that they’re the leader of Tian Chuang and the leader of the Ghost Valley and wondering “How did these two devils end up together?” Like calls to like, I guess.

OK, this is getting super-long, so I’m going to attempt to wrap up with the actual Wenzhou material. We cut to Murder Dads and Chengling sitting in the forest, around a campfire, and Chengling is in heaven, back with his family. He’s super-emotional, and ZZS is all, come on, be a man, don’t cry (OK, crybaby). WKX gives some campfire-cooked rabbit? maybe? to ZZS, who starts a precedent by passing it to Chengling. Please, A-Xu. WKX wants to feed his laopo, will you eat something, ffs? Chengling, still emotional, tells them that he knows they’re the only ones who are sincerely kind to him, that Five Lakes Alliance has all kinds of agendas and none of them care about him, and nobody has asked him what he wants. (I know, bb, they were awful.) ZZS asks what he wants, and Chengling says he wants to learn martial arts, to get revenge, and to not be a useless child anymore. Oh god, the cut to WKX here. His face, y’all. He is not cool with the fact that Chengling thinks he can’t be a child anymore, and probably with whatever role he (WKX) had in it. He is so sad. It’s killing me. However, it’s not as if WKX has lost his edge, and he also pounces, asking Chengling if something happened that made him suspicious of the Alliance. Chengling spills that his dad already didn’t trust them and also told him not to trust anyone ever, but he trusts his Murder Dads! This kid, I tell you. He tells them that his dad hid the Mirror Lake Glazed Armor in his stomach and starts getting ready to cut it out for them before ZZS stops him. He tells them Yusen gave him a letter for the Changming Sword Immortal detailing Rong Xuan’s injury (and we get our first iteration of the story of the battle between the Five Lakes Alliance brothers and Rong Xuan, the poison on the sword, and how that turned Rong Xuan evil). Per Chengling, the original argument was about the Combined Six Cultivation Method. Also per Chengling, the Alliance bothers should have been responsible for Rong Xuan after that, but no one stood up for him – I mean, Zhang Yusen would have, but his legs were broken. We learn that the poisoned sword that injured Rong Xuan belonged to Gao Chong. ZZS looks taken aback, but this all just CONFIRMS WKX’s SUSPICIONS.

Cut away for another scene. Cut back. ZZS has suddenly remembered that he’s pissed off and that someone (else, not him) is sleeping on the couch tonight. Earlier, they were sat in order of Chengling, ZZS, WKX. Now Chengling has been put between them. WKX asks for wine, A-Xu is being passive-aggressive and ignoring him before finally handing the wine gourd to Chengling to pass to WKX. He won’t even look at WKX. It is hilarious, particularly as he only remembered he was mad after they’d all eaten dinner, which WKX cooked, and the pair of them made sure their child was OK. Chengling wants to know if they fought and tells them there’s nothing confidants can’t resolve. He’s in full puppy mode. He tells WKX to hurry up and comfort ZZS, because you know he looks tough on the surface but he’s got the softest heart! Didn’t you teach me that tough women can’t resist clingy men? ZZS’s indignant little face at this is a picture. Chengling offers to apologize for WKX. WKX’s face is all fondness for Chengling, except for the eyebrows, which are doing the Tragic Sadness Eyebrows at ZZS. ZZS is all, OK, fine, although he immediately changes the subject and starts talking about the kidnapping attempt. He tells Chengling that the world is dangerous right now, and the safest place for him is Yueyang Sect. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS? Chengling sadly nods. My little dude, c’mon. ZZS’s Nails are bothering him and WKX takes the chance to feed him qi, which ZZS accepts – might I note - without complaint. WKX waxes rhapsodic about A-Xu’s shoulder blades, and says he once saw a dead body with beautiful shoulder blades. Smashcut to a flashback of two people who we don’t yet know are Zhen Ruyu and Gu Miaomiao dead on the ground. Although this takes place immediately after the scene of Gao Chong at the altar, when the first tablets we see are Zhen Ruyu’s and Gu Maiomiao’s, we also don’t know yet to connect those names to these bodies. Tricksy, show. We see Zhen Yan place his hand on Gu Miaomiao’s back, and WKX’s voiceover talks about how he could tell she was a beauty despite the blood everywhere. ZZS interrupts this morbid tale to say they should let the past stay in the past, and then tells WKX, “My condolences,” even though WKX hasn’t actually mentioned anywhere in the story about this dead body that it was even anyone he knew, let alone someone he was related to. Because A-Xu isn’t stupid. Immediately after this - after saying they should leave the past in the past - ZZS asks WKX who he is. WKX goes into his Philanthropist Wen evasion spiel. ZZS shakes his head, visibly steels himself, and apparently comes to the decision to model the behavior he’s trying to encourage by coming clean about his real name, his relationship to Siji Manor, all of his bad decisions, his choking guilt over the deaths of all the Siji Manor disciples, and his reign of state-sanctioned terror as founder and leader of Tian Chuang. Notably, the very first word Chengling speaks to ZZS after hearing this rundown of supposed and actual crimes is to call him “Shifu” again to get his attention before asking for more info about the Scorpions. THIS CHILD. MY HEART.

ZZS tells them both, “I spent half my life alone, doing things I didn’t want to do and killing people I didn’t want to kill,” and I literally want to reach into the screen and shake WKX, because OMG LAO WEN. You are reflections of each other, and he’s baring his soul, and you’re going to continue to be so afraid that he’s not going to accept every part of you that it’s going to be episodes and episodes before you open up, and even then, only after he figures it out on his own. :hands: To make things even more OBVIOUS, ZZS then asks Chengling if he still wants ZZS to be his shifu after learning all of this, and Chengling doesn’t even hesitate, he says “Of course,” and ZZS and I are both about to cry. UGH. Zhang Zhehan, your face. It’s killing me. This is a man seeing the hope of resurrection for the sect he was convinced he had ground into dust. ZZS and Chengling are both so busy being emotional at each other that WKX has to take matters into his own hands, encouraging Chengling to bow, and we get a real bow to shifu this time, in a scene that once again mirrors the later scene when Zhen Yan makes his bow to Qin Huaizhang to become a Siji Manor disciple.

ZZS tells Chengling, all right, then. You are the first disciple of the sixth generation. (SHIXIONG. NO PRESSURE.)

End ep.

#zhou zishu #wen kexing #zhang chengling #beauty ghost #liu qianqiao #gao chong #gao shan #du pusa #pretty arhat #qin song #gu xiang #xie wang #tragicomic ghost #luo fumeng #qin huaizhang #word of honor #word of honor episode reax

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