#also my brain: why does it make me itchy

[wall-maria-around-ba-sing-se]

I love the part in Melancholia that goes very dramatically and emotionally “everything will never change!” followed by very serious echoing whispers of “everything will never change…”

because it’s not incorrect like grammatically, but it’s still also definitely not how you phrase that sentence. the singer sounds so sure of it though

#xenoblade #xenoblade chronicles x #Hiroyuki Sawano #xcx #kudos to her for saying these lines so confidently #it took me a couple listens to realize why my brain kept remembering part of the song wrong #my brain: clearly the line is ‘nothing will ever change’ #also my brain: why does it make me itchy

[lazyevaluationranch]

*pats askbox gently* there are more Thermoreceptors?

(I'm sorry ur dome was so hot; I hope its much cooler now!)

My bluff has been called! Hooray!!

I am not a neurologist, a biologist, or a scientist. If anyone with better credentials than "obsessed with emergent properties" contradicts me, listen to them instead.

Cell membranes include little portal proteins that open under certain circumstances based on the shape of the protein and let chemicals into and out of the cell. These portals are useful for all sorts of things: managing water and nutrients, sending messages to nearby cells, serving the whims of tiny intercellular cats. Science hasn't found the tiny intercellular cats yet, but we all know they're there; the existence of a door that can be opened necessarily implies an indecisive feline.

Some protein shapes open up if the temperature is within a certain range. This means that if a cell with that sort of protein in its membrane experiences a temperature in the right range, it will move some chemicals around. This is used to make nerve cells that send a message towards the brain whenever they experience a certain temperature.

Because evolution does all its best work the night before the deadline while on a Code Red Mountain Dew bender, the opened-by-temperature portal proteins are mostly copied from opened-by-a-specific-chemical portal proteins. All of them, in fact, still open for specific chemicals, which means there exist out in the world liquids you can put in a bottle that most animals will instead perceive as "a temperature between 8 and 26 degrees" So things can get a little weird.

Temperature-opening portal proteins:

TRPA1 Opens for temperatures below 12C (not air temperature, skin or body temperature, so you might be kind of in trouble when this happens). Used by hunting snakes to detect where heat isn't so they can find prey. Feels painful in an itchy sort of way.

This one also opens for allyl isothiocyanate. Many plants have evolved to take advantage of the existence of a chemical most animals perceive as itchy pain, especially horseradish and wasabi. Allyl isothiocyanate is harmful to plants, so they keep two separate components in tiny compartments. When an animal bites the plant, the compartments break open their contents mix to create allyl isothiocyanate.

"This plant tastes like itching" is a good defense against almost all animals, but some humans have taught themselves to appreciate the taste of itching.

TRPM8 Opens for temperatures between 8 and 26 degrees. Opens for menthol (peppermint, spearmint, wintergreen) and linalool (roses, orange blossoms, basil). Feels cool or cold.

"This plant tastes like cold" is a somewhat less effective defense against being eaten than "this plant tastes like itching" but it's a more widespread defense because TRPM8-activating chemicals don't harm plants and don't need elaborate two-part storage.

TRPV4 Opens for temperatures from 27-37 C. I'm not sure what this one feels like, or if even feels like anything, since it covers normal human body temperatures. Whatever feeling we get from this one, we're feeling it nearly all the time.

Plants do make a chemical that tastes like this temperature, and it can repel nonhuman creatures with different body temperatures: allicin, the flavour of garlic. Like allyl isothiocyante, it is stored in two compartments inside the plant, and combined when the plant is bitten.

Maybe this is why vampires abhor garlic. There is a feeling that, as humans, we always have. Something we don't notice, something deeper than touch. That feel disappears forever when you become a vampire, except those unbearable moments when garlic returns to you for a fleeting moment the experience of lost humanity.

TRPV3 Opens for temperatures 33-39 degrees. Opens for eugenol, found in cinnamon, nutmeg, bay leaf, holy basil, ginger, allspice, and cloves. Feels like warmth.

Plants with high quantities of eugenol, like holy basil and Japanese star anise, are sometimes sacred to buddhists because they smell nice and bugs don't like to eat them, so you can burn them as incense without worrying about all the little crawly guys.

Humans apparently think food that tastes like "warm" is comforting.

TRPV1 Opens for temperatures over 43 degrees. (The one I was experiencing in the overheated dome, which I had never felt from air before) Opens for capsaicin, the active chemical in hot peppers. Opens for the combination of temperature and acidity of fevers and infected wounds. This one we feel as pain, as burning, as flame.

TRPV1 says: Your flesh is failing, and your doom is very near.

Humanity says: This is incredible. We are going to breed plants that cause this sensation as much as possible, and we will spend thousands of years getting it right. We are going to dry this and powder this and flake it and grill it and ferment it and eat it with everything.

And when we leave earth and go into space, we take hot peppers with us. Without gravity, fluid builds up in nasal passages, and astronauts sort of have colds the entire time they're in space and can't smell food very well. But the Nearness Of Your Doom is not a smell and is not perceived by the nose, so - with their doom always on the other side of ten centimeters of insulated aluminum - astronauts can taste hot peppers. In 2002, Peggy Whitson, commander of the ISS, jokingly refused to let a replacement crew on board until they handed over the hot sauce.

We are a strange and wonderful species.

#question #ame-kage #vampires #astronauts #intercellular cats #fun post to tag #we are growing something that affects each of these. :) #there are at least three more heat-reactive ion channels but I don't think we use them for much: TRPM3 ANO1 TRPV2

[megamindsecretlair]

Could you do a quick one shot where someone tries to flirt with the reader from vampire Tyrone. How does he react?

Chapter 5 Chapter 7

Pairing: Vampire!Tyrone x Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. SMUT. Public sex, PIV, cursing, AU Tyrone, Toxic Tyrone. Dark fic. Dirty talk. Mentions of blood, overstimulation. Slighty bratty reader. The concept of "rolling" is brought up when Tyrone is able to hypnotize reader, but it is consensual. Exhibition kink. This one is a littler darker, reader gets aroused by violence and violent thoughts. Non-inclusive language used.

Summary: A chance meeting at a club introduced you to the enigmatic Tyrone. He was interesting in ways that you weren't expecting. Back in Tyrone's world, full of heavy clouds of lust in the air, Tyrone catches you flirting with another man and he loses his mind.

Word Count: 4,101k

Midnight Sin Masterlist

A/N: Woooo, had to get this one off my chest! Are you sneaking a look at my outline, anon?? I swear I love jealousy in fiction! I don't tag ageless blogs. Toss a comment or reblog to save a writer!

Taglist: @planetblaque @westside-rot @umber-cinders @kindofaintrovert @notapradagurl7 @twocentuar @blackerthings @sevikasblackgf @beenathembo @theyscreamsannii @lovedlover @henneseyhoe @dayjlovesromance @melaninpov @blowmymbackout @miyuhpapayuh @soft-persephone @eggnox @browngirldominion @longpause-awkwardsmile @slippinninque @amethyst09 @ciaqui @we-outsiiiide @iv0rysoap @thecookiebratz @harmshake @nworbaij

You felt desired. You bravely walked through the room in nothing but your panties and black high heels, parading around. Back at Tyrone’s sex house, he had been teasing you all night. He combined rolling with wine, and fingering with powerful kisses so now you were in a sex-crazed brain fog and loving every second. 

You asked him to roll you and make you do something. It was a sign of extreme trust and you didn’t know where it came from. You only wanted to see what it was like once. If he could truly make you do anything and if you would remember or if it would feel like a dream. 

You also told him that if he did anything that crossed one of your hard lines, he’d never see you again. Vampire or not. He promised to behave himself. You’d had many, many talks about your boundaries and his. He never wanted to make you uncomfortable.

That was why you were comfortable letting him roll you all night. God. If they could bottle this feeling and sell it, it’d be the fastest selling drug to ever exist. 

The other vampires and donors, who were members of Tyrone’s club, looked at you as if you were the sexiest thing in this room. Tyrone rolled you to make you strip slow for him and walk around with your breasts out.

Getting pounded in front of a mirror was one thing. It felt like you and Tyrone were the only two people in the room, though he constantly reminded you that there was an audience. And they loved seeing you. 

You still had your wits about you, but you had to do what Tyrone asked you to. You wanted to. Your clothes were too hot and itchy and you clawed them off, relishing the cool air that rushed over your skin. 

The way Tyrone stared at you…like he wanted to eat you made you desperately horny. And now others stared at you too while you walked around. You modeled for them. Modeled your body. Modeled everything your mama and God gave you. And the men nodded appreciatively. The woman gave you knowing smirks. 

You’d never felt more alive. More in control. Turn around for me. Tyrone’s voice whispered through your mind. You turned around, eyes searching for Tyrone. He stood at the other end of the playroom, one of many in his giant ass mansion. This one had dark walls and low lights strung across it.

In the middle of the room, there was a platform where a scene played out of a male vampire getting dominated by his female donor. She cracked the whip against the man’s flesh and tortured ecstasy sprang from his lips. Some in the room watched. There were chairs, tables, and couches set up around the room and some took advantage. There was also a room or three in the back for people who wanted a little privacy.

You, however, only had eyes for Tyrone. He only wore his briefs, so his chest was out and shining against the lighting. He would be an angel if he wasn’t a confirmed devil. You grinned in his direction. He was so gorgeous. So sexy. So otherworldly you wanted to pinch yourself. Come here.

Your foot moved without a second thought from you. You were aware that he was still in your mind, still commanding you. But you couldn’t stop moving towards him if you tried. It was freaky and exciting. 

Kneel and crawl.

You stopped and then lowered yourself to your knees. Your wet pussy squelched and you bit back a moan. You were achingly wet, so hungry for Tyrone’s dick that you were ready to sing for it. You crawled to Tyrone, eyes eagerly on his. 

He smirked and let you stop, not wanting you to hurt your knees on the rough floor. A loud crack split the air as the whip hit the vampire again. His moan was longer this time. He was getting his. Why the hell couldn’t you get yours?

Tyrone closed the distance and stared into your eyes. “Come back,” he said. His voice echoed in your mind. You felt like you were getting yanked through a pit of darkness. 

“Come back,” he repeated. That pit of darkness was endless. You weren’t afraid just…reverent. Like there was something in the darkness with you that recognized a kindred spirit and winked.

Like death.

“Come back.” His voice stopped echoing and you stopped feeling the flighty, floaty feeling of rolling. It was a trip being pulled back into reality, but Tyrone wanted to give your mind a rest. 

“Are you okay?” He asked. 

You nodded. You wanted to tell him about the odd visions and feelings in your mind whenever he rolled you. You weren’t sure if it would give him concern or if he would stop. You had lunch with Nikki tomorrow. You needed more answers.

Tyrone answered as much as he could, but it seemed like he acknowledged that you were unprepared but was unwilling to teach you more. If there was something bad waiting for you at the end of this, you were going to be pissed.

Tyrone kissed your cheek and held your hands. “I’m going to make sure everyone is behaving and bring you some water,” he said. “That means you behave too.”

You smiled at him. He was so damn cute. “I always behave myself,” you said.

Tyrone shook his head and moved away lightning fast. You moved about the room. No one approached you. No one talked to you. You could only guess that it was Tyrone’s doing. Everyone too busy being afraid of him than to extend a hand to you. 

They still looked at your body, at your breasts. They could probably smell how needy you were. How wet you were, clenching around nothing. Wishing Tyrone would go on and fuck you.

You were surrounded by debauched people, each giving in to carnal desires right before your eyes. You scooted around a couch where a couple was practically in each other’s laps. They got each other off, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. 

There was still the vampire on stage. You stopped and stared at him, at his prone form in supplication to his donor. She was a gorgeous, thick Black woman with tightly curled hair in puff balls on her head. She wore nothing but high heels, digging that heel into his side.

“Are you okay, baby?” The donor asked.

“Yes, yes, yes,” the man said, chanting like he wasn’t really here anymore. Even though the donor was in charge, there was genuine love and affection between them. They constantly checked in on each other, knowing exactly when to push and when to pull back.

Would that be you and Tyrone one day? Would you let everyone look at you while Tyrone dominated you so publicly? Your thoughts turned sour as you imagined a future with Tyrone. One in which you start to get older, wrinkly. If you managed to live that long.

“I thought these things were supposed to be arousing. Why you frownin’?” Tyrone asked from behind and off to the side of you. You started to turn around.

“Mhm, eyes forward,” he said. He sounded…different. Like his voice got deeper or he scratched his vocal cords on something. Tyrone’s voice was always deep, but this one seemed different. 

You faced forward, interested in this new game of Tyrone’s. You watched the couple on stage.

“I am aroused,” you said. If he would fuckin’ touch you, he’d know that. Maybe you just weren’t used to denying yourself an orgasm. Your previous lovers were ehh. Certainly nothing to write home about. Certainly nothing like Tyrone who could say two words and have your panties dropping to the floor. 

Your pussy throbbed and you rubbed your thighs together. Your panties were ruined at this point. You wanted to be ruined.

“Why do you smell so good?” He asked. He took a deep sniff and you shivered.

You huffed, the breathy sound burning your lungs. You were out of your mind with desire. You didn’t have another rolling in you if he didn’t touch you. Your body felt acutely aware of everything he did. He stepped closer, running a finger down your side.

You moaned, that much contact from him was too much to bear. Your skin tingled where his finger had been. Your breathing increased, feeling like a rabbit caught in a wolf’s path. 

Tyrone stepped even closer, dropping a simple kiss to your neck. He smelled different. You tilted your head, confused about his presence. Something was telling you that something was off. Something was wrong with Tyrone.

You turned your head but Tyrone roughly grabbed your chin and pushed it away from him. “You are too damn beautiful to be standing here by yo’self,” he said. 

“Ty-” You went to say but he was suddenly away from you. Snarls filled the room. You turned to your left and then did a double take. 

Tyrone stood next to…Tyrone. There were two of them? There were two of them. Only, the other wasn’t half dressed like everyone in the room. He still wore dark jeans and a hoodie. His hair was wilder, kinkier, sticking up and away from his head. He had a bigger beard than your Tyrone and grills in his mouth. 

He smiled, running his tongue along his golden, elongated canine tooth. He gave your Tyrone a wink. “Little brother,” he said. He held out his hands as if inviting your Tyrone in for a hug. 

You were so confused, your head bobbing back and forth like you were watching a tennis match. The intensity of the room seeped away to curiosity and nosiness. The moans and groans and curses stopped. There was only your Tyrone and the…other Tyrone. You were still trying to wrap your mind around that.

“She’s mine, Fontaine,” Tyrone said. There was your man. Deep voice, but with a thick LA accent. 

Fontaine, the other Tyrone, tilted his head at you. His eyes raked over your body but you didn’t feel the need to cover up. Everyone saw your body tonight, he’d already gotten an eyeful. “Must be special, little brother,” Fontaine said. 

He looked at you and his red eyes seemed to swirl in the low lighting. His face clouded over like he’d just inhaled something delicious. “Smells really good in here,” he said. He stepped in your direction and Tyrone punched him. 

“She’s mine,” Tyrone said once more. 

Fontaine smiled, blood pooling in his mouth before he licked his lips. “Heard you the first time,” he said.

“Tyrone, what the hell is this?” You asked. 

Tyrone rolled his neck and then looked at you. He held out his hand but you were too nervous to take it. He looked feral. Animalistic. But you still got the sense that he was holding back. That he refused to show you the monster beneath. 

You stepped closer but only eyed his hand. If you touched him, you’d get distracted. Tyrone was a sin in and of himself. One touch and then you’d be on hands and knees sucking him off. 

He withdrew, staring at his lonely hand before turning to Fontaine. “This is my brother, Fontaine,” Tyrone said. He introduced you by your name and Fontaine said it a few times, getting the hang of it. 

“Nice to meet you,” Fontaine said. 

“Tyrone? Explain?” You asked.

“My brother is usually on the East Coast or overseas. It’s rare for him to make it back West. It’s been some time since he’s been here last,” Tyrone said. 

“I didn’t even know you had a brother,” you said. You looked at Fontaine. They were eerily similar. And yet wildly different. Fontaine seemed rougher around the edges. Like he liked to pull on girl’s hair while he disrespected your soul. 

“Tyrone don’t never talk about me. He knows I’m usually the one picking up the pretty girls,” he said with a wink. You rolled your eyes, but smiled a little. The next punch to Fontaine’s face made you gasp. 

You didn’t see Tyrone move. You didn’t see him cross the short distance and knock Fontaine’s head to the side. Red fire lit up Tyrone’s eyes as he looked at his brother. Fontaine wiped his mouth, another bloody smile for Tyrone. 

“I’m going to find some hole to stick this long dick into. You get tired of him, find me,” Fontaine said. He winked at you and then looked at Tyrone. “I’ll see you later.”

The threat was evident in Fontaine’s tone. He slunk off through the room, leaving entirely. Tyrone had other playrooms, you’d yet to see them all. You wondered what else Fontaine was into. 

“Did he touch you?” Tyrone asked. 

“I thought it was you,” you said, biting your lip. Fuck. Did you screw all of this up? Were your days of being a donor over now because he never told you to be on the lookout for someone who looked and talked like him? 

“Where?” Tyrone asked. He stepped closer to you, hands gripping your arms. It wasn’t hurtful. It was more like desperation. Like you were the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. If he let go, there was no telling where his mind would go. 

You floundered for what to say. Fontaine hadn’t really done anything bad to you. Nothing worse than what you dealt with on a daily basis growing up a woman. Tyrone looked so pissed…until his dick slapped against your thigh. You looked down at the growing tent in his pants. He was…turned on? 

“He only touched my side. And kissed my neck,” you said. 

Tyrone’s nostrils flared. Without a word, he moved from the room. There were too many people looking at you. Vampires with fangs bared like they wanted some of what you were having. You were confused and horny and you weren’t sure if you wanted answers at the exclusion of a dicking down, or to hope you getting dicked down didn’t mess with your desire to have answers. 

Tyrone dragged you up the stairs and to his side of the house. In his bedroom, no sooner had he closed the door than did he slam your back against it. His kiss was punishing, hard, and rough. 

His breathing fanned over your face. He panted so hard like he’d just run a marathon. He ran his thumb over your lip, cupping your jaw and tilting your head. “You’re mine,” he said.

His dark, red eyes still had that feral glint. He wasn’t all there, not truly. You weren’t sure where his mind went. But you hoped he stayed there a little longer. You liked that he was taking off the kid gloves. You wanted to see him unleash that tight hold on his control. 

“Is that so?” You asked. You didn’t know where this wild, reckless part of you was coming from. This fascination with toying with a deadly creature. It was like you were flirting with your own mortality. You’d spent so long worried about the curse, that you started to admire it. Study it. Tease it. 

Tyrone’s grip tightened around your neck. You groaned, tilting your head up and rolling your eyes. Tyrone stepped closer, pushing his erection against your belly. 

“I’m not fuckin’ around right now. I’ll allow a lot of things, little doll, but this ain’t one of them. I’ll kill anybody that look in your direction,” he said.

Shivers wracked your body. You stared into his red eyes. He had to know, right? He had to sense how turned on you were. You rubbed against his erection, palming him. He hissed and moved away. He used his free hand to grab your wandering one and pin it against the door. 

You still had your left hand free and you moved it closer to his body. You slipped your fingers beneath his black briefs. He was still shirtless from your little game earlier. When you found his dick once more, you rubbed him.

“I can’t be held responsible for shit you didn’t tell me,” you said.

Tyrone’s eyes widened before he smirked. “You trynna be cute right now?” He asked.

“Telling the truth,” you said.

Tyrone chuckled. Too fast for your brain to comprehend, your cheek was pressed against the cool, smooth wood. One of Tyrone’s hands pinned both of your wrists behind your back. You hadn’t felt like you moved. One minute you faced him, one minute you didn’t.

Tyrone leaned down and bit your ear. Hard. You cried out, a big wave of arousal flooding your panties again. “Ty-Ty–” You shivered.

“I’on usually deal with brats, so we gon’ fix you,” he said. 

He moved behind you and then he was pulling your panties to the side, grabbing his dick and swirling it through your dripping entrance. You cried a wretched sound. You were incredibly sensitive. Too sensitive.

He hadn’t done anything yet and you were ready to explode. He got the tip wet with your juices and then slipped inside you. You gasped, bucking away from the door. Tyrone shushed you, kissing along your ear and neck. He found a spot just below your ear that made you giggle. It felt good, but was too sensitive to hold for long. 

“Nothin’ more to say? It only took one hit?” He teased, nibbling on your ear. He could bite into you at any moment. You didn’t tell him, but you loved when he drank from you. When he gained energy just by biting into your soft flesh. 

“If that’s all you got, then you can’t really claim me,” you said, taunting him back. 

Tyrone chuckled. He looped his arm around your torso, grabbing hold of your titty like he was holding a liferaft. His fingers toyed with your nipples while he started to stroke roughly, making you take his big dick. Incoherent moans left you, crying with every deep stroke. 

“This pussy know who own it,” he growled in your ear. “Feel how wet she is. Takin’ this dick too fuckin’ well.” He moaned in your ear and you nearly came undone right then and there. 

He stroked deeper, groaning as he found a new angle. “My fuckin’ pussy,” he moaned.

He stroked harder and it sounded like you were stirring thick cake batter. It was wet. It was lewd. Tyrone had you against the door like he couldn’t wait for the bed. Like he needed you at the first opportunity you weren’t around other people.

Like he couldn’t wait. Like he needed you.

Tyrone had your arm pinned so you couldn’t leverage yourself against him. Your heels dug into the carpet of his room and you were amazed that you hadn’t toppled over yet. “Oh fuck!” You shrieked. “Dick feelin’ so good.” 

“I know it do. This all mine,” he said. To prove his point, he angled his hips against until he was thrusting up and hitting that perfect spot that made your eyes cross. You climaxed, screaming to the rooftop with the force of your orgasm. 

It was unbelievable. Primal. Beast and prey. Prey and beast. There was nothing but the underlying drive to fuck. To copulate. To poke and be poked. 

You shook on Tyrone’s dick while he continued to stroke. “Mhf, gonna fuck this shit outta this pussy till you beg me to stop,” he moaned.

“Don’t stop,” you moaned, twitching on his dick while he continued to take his pleasure from your body. 

“Can’t stop,” he groaned. The sound of him deep in it made you moan even louder, rivaling him at this point. You loved a vocal man. The way he didn’t care about what he looked or sounded like. Your pussy was just that damn good where he couldn’t stay quiet. He had to let you know. 

Whether it was by the way he squeezed your nipples past the point of pain, or your wrists bound by his hand, or the wet and aggressive smack of his balls on your clit. 

“Fuuuuck,” Tyrone moaned, unleashing a hot sticky load into you. You moaned, dropping your head against the door. 

Still, Tyrone kept fucking you. The force of his dick inside was keeping you upright. You slid up and down his dick like he was your personal toy and you squealed and moaned. “Don’t fuckin’ stop, don’t fuckin’ stop,” you moaned. You were on the heels of another orgasm. 

Tyrone kept his same pace, but angled his hips again. He pushed into your hips until you were practically flush with the door. He dropped your nipple and it grazed the door. You hissed from the cold and it bloomed into unnameable pleasure. 

Tyrone slapped your ass, moaning as your ass jiggled from it. “So fuckin’ gorgeous. I’ll never let anyone else have you,” he moaned.

And fuck if that thought didn’t send you over the edge. Your nails clawed at the door as you whined, panting, huffing, lungs burning, and knees wobbling. You felt like you were being burned from the inside out and you liked it. 

As if sensing your thoughts, Tyrone cursed through an orgasm of his own, your name on his tongue. His hips jerked and twitched, but he still sloppily slammed into you. His cum began to seep out of you, leaking down your legs. You moaned from the weird sensation. You were full and not full enough.

Each encounter with Tyrone felt like he was splitting you in half. You lived in a sea of dichotomy. Living in excess and moderation. Bliss and pain. Where ‘stop’ hovered on your lips but your brain knew not to make you say. 

Your mind drifted into some other realm. A space in your mind where you were at home in your body. Completely in yourself and not only feeling the pleasure, but your overly analytical brain finally shut off. 

A silent hum of pleasure vibrated along your skin. His hand massaged your ass. His other had your wrists against your lower back. Sweat dropped from him and onto your back and ass. Sweat gathered in all of your crevices. 

Huffing pants of ecstasy filled the air. Tangled with moans and soft fucks. “I-ca-can–” You stuttered.

“Sure you can. You was big and bad earlier, where that go?” He asked. 

It was on the tip of your tongue to apologize. To take it back. But Tyrone wasn’t done. He slowed down, letting more of his cum slip out of you before pushing back in. You heard the wet noises and it made you clench harder around his dick.

For what seemed like hours, there was a call and response to your orgasms. Tyrone came over and over inside you, an endless supply of cum. He said he had decades worth of cum to give you. Every time he came, you were hot on his heels. Coming with loud, raucous moans. Your throat was dry and ragged.

No more than bursts of air escaped you. Your face was covered with tears and snot. You lost track of how many times you came. You were going to be sore as fuck in the morning. You were sore now. Tyrone absolutely bullied your pussy and the sick part of you wanted to hurry and recover so you could do it all over again.

“No more,” you whispered. Tyrone panted beside you. Rivulets of sweat ran down his body. He smirked. 

“No more, little doll,” he said. He planted a kiss on your forehead. He massaged feeling back into your arms, having been kept in the same position too long. He apologized but that was the least of your worries.

The floor beneath you was wet with your combined, nasty juices. Your legs wobbled with aftershocks from a deep fucking and you sighed dreamily, ready to fall asleep. You thought getting fucked to sleep had been a myth when you were younger. Tyrone changed all notions about that.

You didn’t notice that Tyrone had lifted you and placed you on the bed. You didn’t notice that he was placing you down into a warm hot bath. He slid in behind you and kissed your neck and back, cleaning you off from what you shared. You tried to kiss him back, but he told you to relax.

“Don’t you fuckin’ say sorry neither,” you mumbled before you passed out, tucked softly into his bed. This wasn’t his resting place, but it damn sure smelled like him. Like home. You curled up and went right to sleep.

Masterlist | Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

#Megaminds Secret Files #The Secret Tyrone Files #Tyrone x Black!reader #Tyrone x Black reader #Tyrone x Fem!reader #x Black reader #x Fem reader #Tyrone x Fem reader #Tyrone x plus size reader #Vampire!Tyrone #They Cloned tyrone smut #They Cloned Tyrone fanfic #They Cloned Tyrone fan fic #They Cloned Tyrone fan fiction #They Cloned Tyrone fanfiction #John Boyega fanfic

[lipglossanon]

okay this one’s been brewing for a while but it’s finally a complete thought lol, cow!reader,,,, leon adopts a cow hybrid and let’s just say for shits and giggles reader lactates more on their period if we’re doing a more human like cow hybrid and leon’s already established house rules, hooves (assuming it’s a bipedal cow hybrid that has hooves instead of proper feet but has hands) must be covered if not on the carpet, all mooing has to be done outside (you woke him up too many times mooing when you’re hungry that’s also why you’re not allowed in his room), DO NOT under any circumstances get your horns stuck in a wall (again), and lastly, only refer to him as daddy. now the only thing my brain gave me was he comes home from work super irritated and your all up in his lap licking his face telling him he’s so nice while softly mooing and praising him while he runs his hands over your ass (your naked because well it’s leon and he definitely got you a collar with a bell) he occasionally squeezes your ass making you moan a little while rubbing himself against you telling you how wet you are while you try to keep still when he notices and cups your cheek asking what’s wrong when you look at him with big doe eyes and quietly ask “milk me daddy” when he chuckles at you and says “it’s almost that time of the month, huh?” and you sheepishly nod trying to hide your embarrassment but no fast enough because you’re in his bed (somewhere he doesn’t really let you) on your back (idk if we’re going udder route or swollen areola route, i also said more nips though 🤔) he’s massaging your breast’s (two or more i don’t fucking know) softly telling you you’re a good lil moo while you hold onto his biceps while he milks you with his hands before he gets too needy and uses his mouth 🤭

- 💀

(~note time~ imagine the little hoof sounds on hard wood before getting scolded by leon for scuffing the floor and like the little jingles from her running around the house playing with a ball and demanding pets from leon because i feel like horns get itchy or wrapping her tail around leon’s hand while he pets her 🥺 like i seriously didn’t think of how cute a cow!reader would be now i want to be one lmao )

AGSHFL 🙈 🙈 cow!reader does sound pretty cute! 🤭

But just Leon drinking from her cause she needs milked is melting my brain 🥴 🥴

And the little head pats!! 🥺🥺

#ask box #💀 anon #lipglossanon #lipglossanswers #cow!reader #hybrid!reader

[urfavnegronerd]

all right u obscene fucks some of you don't have a skincare-obsessed sister and it shows

alright so anyone who shaves their no no square is going to know what im talking about so just bare with me. some of us are too broke to afford a wax (i have eight dollars in my spending account rn), so here's what ur gonna do. everyone whos shaved that area has most definitely experienced irritation, ingrowns, bumps, and itchiness. this is not good, especially for those of us with a history of sh. that alone has triggered multiple relapses for me, cus why does my body itch? and then my brain spirals from there

if its been a while since u've shaved? no worries stink i didn't use to be regular either. if its been a while and you have a bit more hair, make sure to trim the area carefully, with a sanitized pair of scissors.

dry brush the area, you can get a dry brush at target, i got mine for five dollars

gently exfoliate the area, i use a home made one w sugar, oil, and dr bronners unscented soap. i use unscented because i have keratosis pilaris, eczema, and sensitive skin. use unscented soap, not no Japanese cherry blossom ass shit from bath and body works. do you want a yeast infection? unscented is the way to go.

get clean razor, i switch mine out every month or so. i use harrys because they're marketed towards men so a closer shave w more blades. before u do anything w the razor, run it under warm water, if the pressure in your showerhead changes switch it to the highest pressure and rinse the blade to get any gunk out of there

drop the shaving cream, the conditioner, whatever u use. drop it. switch for coconut oil instead, unscented as to not irritate the area.

at first go with the direction of hair growth, stopping to rinse the razor and the area every few strokes. then go side to side, and up and down.

as soon as ur finished rinse the area with freezing water as to close/tighten the pores!!

when ur out of the shower use either after shave, or witch hazel. i like to use aqua velva after shave, it smells nice, and also marketed towards a male audience so it actually fucking works. pour a little bit on a cotton round, wash rag, or toilet paper and apply it to the area. it'll sting a little bit, but that's the tightening and toning of the area, don't worry. for those of my afab friends do not put it in there. only on the skin outside of it!! no one wants a yeast infection, or a uti, we don't do that here. (however if you do get a uti or yeast infection, boric acid suppositories at target, azo cranberry tablets and apple cider vinegar tablets. do what you will with that. miasaurus on youtube has great videos on these topics, an ex-stripper and also incredibly funny) tend skin is also a great option but really expensive, when my parents were together my mom got my bald-headed ass daddy a big thing of tend skin for his birthday.

moisturize with unscented lotion, i use cetaphil on that area and coco butter everywhere else

in the showers following ur shave down there, use a salicylic acid face wash on that area. i use cerave because i got it cheap with ulta points, i would recommend cerave because it's formulated with ceramides to keep your skin barrier healthy as well as being unscented. salicylic acid is an acne medication that also helps prevent ingrown hair and itchiness.

moisturize moisturize moisturize!

repeat as necessary friends! go fuck that person bald down there. or don't, whatever floats ur boat. if you wanna be smooth down there (cus its fucking comforting), go be smooth if you wanna!

my mom or my older sister did not teach me this, so i had to figure out what works too embarrassed to ask for help.

#urfavnegronerd #advice #big sister advice #skincare #shaving #hygiene #body care #skin care #black people

[risingsouls]

So Momo, you mentioned before that Vegeta has complicated feelings about his race. What are they of exactly? Does he mourn the Saiyans being gone? Does he not care? Does he miss the role he was supposed to fulfill as prince, and eventually king? Are there other, obscure factors at play? Do tell, if you want to 👀

[Bless u Nebula for giving me a platform to discuss why I think Vegeta is more complex than we usually get to see.

This got long, so under the cut lmao

To start with the topic at hand, ideas of celebrating the Saiyans makes him itchy because it brings up all his repressed, complicated feelings about his race, most potently just the fact that they're dead. Thus, celebrating something like Saiyan day sounds really stupid to him. But I will try to delve into the depths of those feelings here and address your questions. And maybe some other thing if my mush brain can manage it.

Even though Vegeta has made callous comments about his races demise, up to and including basically suggesting they "deserved it" because they were to weak to stop it, this is all just posturing on his part. An attempt to act strong and unaffected in front of others, especially Nappa and Raditz who he was the sole monarch to after their planet was destroyed. It was also a way for him to cope that was easier for him since that was basically the Saiyan mentality: the strong survive, the weak don't. He just...tries not to think about the fact that the three of them were simply lucky to have been off planet. That they would be space dust with the rest of them if not for that simple fact. Most people, including Nappa and later Raditz, likely see through this, but they don't really dare to correct him. These days, he doesn't say these kinds of things; he's not trying to fool himself anymore, in other words.

That said, he does still mourn the loss of the Saiyans and his home. In truth, this is the first time in his life he's had the chance to, and parsing through it all has been an ongoing process. He won't admit to it or do it openly because of how he was raised, and might even suggest that he doesn't care anymore, but he definitely does mourn them.

As for missing his role as prince/king...I'm not sure if that's the way to word it exactly. In a sense, he didn't really want to be king because the role meant he would be stuck planetside more often than he would like. However, ruling the Saiyans was still his birthright, and it was one he wanted to SOME degree in that sense. It is still complicated though because, on one hand, he does feel he was denied that birthright and all that came with it. But at the same time, it's hard for him to care with the entire race he was meant to rule is dead + depression. So basically, he didn't necessarily want to rule, but that was still supposed to be HIS right.

Additionally, Vegeta feels he failed his people. He failed to save them, even if he was a kid. He failed Nappa and Raditz, the last two Saiyans he knew of before meeting Goku, even if that was partially his own fault for his callous behavior arguably learned from Frieza to certain degrees (I need to write about this again akdfjkladf). He basically feels like a failure who doesn't deserve his title as prince and, on the worst days, doesn't feel he deserves to call himself a Saiyan at all because he's sure his ancestors would be disappointed in him, what happened, and who he became.

The irony in all this is that, even if he were presented with the ability to revive them...it wouldn't be an easy yes for him (as seen in a thread I had long ago with @earthforsaken :'3). On the one hand, it's been so long. The nihilist in him thinks it would be pointless. He sees nothing good coming from reviving them and their planet. It's also about that last point of feeling like a failure. That he wouldn't live up the the high expectations the Saiyans had for him, especially since he had been beaten by Goku, a Saiyan of a lower class. He carries a lot of shame in himself, and he's certain he would see that reflected in his dead race's eyes. He isn't sure he could face that after decades of beating HIMSELF up over it all.

Overall, he is proud of his race. He's proud to call himself a Saiyan for the most part on most days. But between mourning them finally and his own perception of himself in regards to their demise and the like, things become a lot less rosy. He's working on it, on feeling that pride without the baggage attached, but it's not easy for him to do.]

#.:ask:. #// vegeta ♅ #// headcanon ♅ #this probably isn't everything I've thought on this topic #but he's sad #that's the moral of the story

[illmetkismet]

Hihihi!!!!! I Hope You don’t mind yet another ask from me!!!!!!! I’ve already said this before but I absolutely adore the way you answer questions and analyse stuff, it’s such a breath of fresh air to see!!!! This is totally self-indulgent so I hope you don’t mind me asking, but do you have any personal headcannons/analysis thoughts on Luis perhaps??? It feels strange to admit but he’s a very big special interest of mine so I just wanted an excuse to hear somebody else’s thoughts on him!! I hope You’re having a good day regardless!!!!

Always happy to see an ask from you, and don't even start with the strangeness or self-indulgence of being really into or asking about Luis; just yesterday I was wondering whether I should wait for spring to get a splish splash fish ankle tattoo or just do it now and deal with an itchy ankle in my winter boots lol...

So yeah, Luis is my love my turtledove the light of my life and I would LOVE the chance to talk about him!!! He was one half of why I got into resi in the first place (serennedy had me like 'hmmmm maybe horror games are not too scary for me if they have cuties in them....'), and every time I think about him my brain does that thing where you put your head in your hands and sigh while cartoon hearts float up above you...

He's just..... So good.... And despite that, he's made SUCH shitty choices. I love how painful that is for him, but that he's got enough self awareness to understand when he fucks up. He doesn't try to blame anyone else - he faces his mistakes and his own shortcomings (pride, willful ignorance, cowardice) head on, and tries so desperately to make up for them, even as he keeps making them.

I love that he's not some perfect angel, that he hangs on to the amber and intends on handing it over to Ada at first, in exchange for getting out of Valdelobos, despite knowing full well that no good will come of that. The part in Separate Ways where he tells her he doesn't care who she works for, could be the devil himself, so long as she gets him out of there was so shocking for me to hear at first, but then I realized that's the core of his tragedy - that he's a good man trapped in a horrible situation, and he's scared, he wants out, he wants to live so badly! Unlike Leon, he's got a healthy dose of self-preservation, and honestly, if I were in his shoes I would probably make the same choices.

But still - he runs into the burning lab, he risks his life to get the suppressant to Leon, he tells Ada he won't leave her, he picks up his 'lance' and says alright, let's go rescue the princess! He's so full of regret and fear and he keeps making shitty choices, but he also keeps doing the right thing.

The way he's written and acted is so rich and nuanced. Watching him, I understand exactly where he's coming from and every single one of his choices. Out of all the characters in re4r he feels the most real to me, the most human. Every second he's on screen is a joy, even the horrible painful seconds at the end.

I wanted him to live so badly, and not just because I like him, but because he wanted to live so badly... All the re6 AU's I've seen floating around where he meets up with Leon again are among my favourite things to come out of this fandom!! I know Capcom is never gonna do that, but in my head it's canon: when Ada told the helicopter pilot to change course she actually went back for Luis, gave him a little first aid spray, and then they joined forces and lalalala everything is fine!!

Ok I'm gonna wrap it up cause if I keep talking about him I'm gonna be late for work, but thank you so much for the chance to gush!! I love Luis so much and I think about him all the time.... My sweet bisexual disaster man..... Going to his death with a smile:

Aasdghhhgddfghjkljjgdaaddghgfdffhh......

#luis serra #resident evil

[babydin]

- Joel Miller X AFAB partner - 18+, minors DNI! - Joel's POV. - Child death implied, depressive thoughts of a middle aged grump, no smut just fluff, but implies that it leads there so consume at your own risk. - 627 words - Comments/likes appreciated. Requests are open! - Joel doesn't want to celebrate his birthday, until the thought of unwrapping you changes his mind. - A/N: Wrote this to celebrate Joel's birthday. Happy birthday you piece of shit. I love writing in Joel's POV, so I would love more requests for this. Or even Javi G as a challenge!

Now, I was minding my very own business and I was going to continue to do so until the day was well and truly over but the promise of pancakes did put me in quite a predicament.

The sound cuts through me like a knife. Having one good ear meant the sounds I fucking hate are even harsher and make my brain itchy. It must be the ass-crack of dawn and she always fucking does this. She knows I don’t like making a big song-and-dance on my birthday, my birthday was the day the outbreak reached critical mass and here we are still fighting off shit-faced zombie motherfuckers and trying to rebuild civilization, not knowing if life will ever be the same again. It’s also Sarah’s remembrance day. I’d give all of my birthdays to have her back just for an hour.   And yet here she is, with one of those noise blowers that I swear I throw out every goddamn year, and a scratchy vinyl of the Beatles singing about how it’s my birthday, and I take one pillow and launch it at her while the other comes up over my head and I hope if I stay there long enough she’ll get the hint that I ain’t playing. “Happy birthday, Mr Miller.” Is it? What’s happy about it? The world is in ruins, and I’m another year older and it’s completely against my will at this point. “I made you blueberry pancakes.” Now, I was minding my very own business and I was going to continue to do so until the day was well and truly over but the promise of pancakes did put me in quite a predicament. I hated my birthday, I hated the fuss, I hated getting older, I hated missing Sarah, unfortunately for me though, I liked blueberry pancakes. I liked blueberry pancakes quite a lot.  I force my eyes open and she’s smilin’ down at me with that goddamn noise maker in one hand and a plate of blueberry pancakes in the other, dripping with maple syrup, her hair scraped back into a messy bun, her pyjamas all askew but I’ll be a son of a gun if she ain’t worth livin’ for. “You turn that shit off?” The Beatles aren’t bad, I just don’t want Paul McCartney squawkin’ at me and reminding me every second that it’s my birthday. “You’ll sit up for blueberry pancakes but not for me?” I’d do a lot more than sit up for her. ”Ellie awake?” She shakes her head and there’s a twinkle in her eye as she hands me the plate of pancakes, “No, why? You want your present?” I don’t like to be presumptuous, I ain’t never expecting shit on my day but the way those words come out of that pretty mouth I can’t help but wonder if – “What is it?” Sometimes my sweet thing runs her fingers through my hair in a way that really feels like it goes deep down into the creases of my brain, and I’m telling you now if I were a dog, my hind leg would be crankin’ like I was tryin’ to start a motorcycle. “That’s the point of a present,” she tells me, “you have to unwrap it.” That girl of mine stands by the side of the bed like she’s waiting on me to do something, and as usual I do the wrong thing and take a bite of the pancakes because the blueberries smell good and the syrup is making my mouth water but she smiles like she finds my idiocy endearing and I thank god she does because someone’s gotta. “Are you– are you my present?” She climbs in my lap and although I try and protect my plate of blueberry pancakes (if she expects me to share, she can whistle. It is my birthday after all) my day just got a little bit better. “Yes, Joel. I am your present. Happy birthday, you grumpy fuck.”

#( joel miller: babydin ) #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Hi Mr. S—I’ve got a very tmi ask about to follow so if any of this at all steps over the line please feel free to ignore and delete. I’m honestly a little mortified to even be writing this but I can’t think of another way to source this. Okay—

I am a learning writer and definitively not a dick-haver. But I’m trying to tackle writing smut and getting over my fear of it so I need to know (and I know you’ve sort of talked about what it’s like being hard so I’m hoping this is just. Next-step level stuff) whatever you can tell me about how it feels or how to descibe it to get aroused, be hard, and frankly, like… get over the finish line. I just have no idea how to put words to it in a way that actually feels realistic so anyone who does happen to have a dick isn’t pulled out of the writing.

Anyway I’m. truly sorry about this but your blog has always seemed very tmi and sex positive so I figured it was worth a shot! If this crosses a boundary please please ignore it :)

Hey!

That's all good, you're alright. This isn't too tmi, lol (even if it took me a minute to actually get to this ask. Sorry about that) and I do like to be open and sex positive.

This ask is the one you reference, about what it feels like to be hard.

*Before anything else, though, I have to say that I've never been bothered by the way fanfiction authors describe erections, orgasms, or any of that jazz. It's not so much about it being accurate as it is about the tone of the writing, y'know? Like, if it's in that wonderful, smutty tone, hell yeah, that's what it's about.

Obviously, tmi under the cut

Erections

As linked above, I have described what it feels like, to me, to get hard before. But, it was in fic form, and, hey, why not try and describe it more here right now?

I feel like most of the words for being erect that aren't so clinical as 'erection' are the words for it because they're descriptive of what it feels like. It can be really hard (ha) to build on it from there. Like, yeah, it feels hard. It feels stiffer. It feels hotter.

It's a rush of blood to my dick, pooling in the area, so naturally, it feels engorged and stiff and hot. It can also physically feel heavier or, at least, emotionally heavier in that I'm aware of my dick more than when I'm not hard. All those descriptions, to me, typing this right now, feel kind of dumb, though, lmao. Like. It's a hard-on, no shit, it's hard 💀

So, we move on, and as far as the stiffening, a detail that I don't see a lot is how, in my own experience, I can literally feel (if I pay attention to it, and depending on how fast the erection happens) my skin pulling--sort of expanding and stretching. The sensation is very particular and hard to put into words. It's itching without it being itchy. Hot and tight. Tingling sometimes. Like I mentioned in that short fic, it's almost like there's a balloon under your skin that's inflating. As it inflates, it gets more and more sensitive, too. So, you're more aware of it, and you touch it, then as you touch it, it feels like it expands more and more, getting more and more sensitive, pushing you to touch it more.

That expanding, pulling sensation, for me, has always been particularly noticeable around the base of my dick and my balls (which makes sense, lol, because, physically, when you see a dick get hard, you see the change in how the balls hang and the size of the shaft). It's a lot more noticeable when my skin brushes against itself. Hypersensitive and much hotter temperature wise. I don't even have to be actively touching myself to feel those sensations (it is a trip, though, if I think about it too much, touching myself and feeling my body swelling and getting stiffer with blood in my hand... just because of some spicy feeling in my brain, lmao).

Here's another sort of metaphor for the purpose of illustration--it's kind of like if you've ever hit your hand (or another part of your body, like your hip) on something solid, and as a result, you can feel the low-level throb under your skin with the pulse of your blood rushing to the injured area. It's like that. But it doesn't really hurt. Not right away. It can start to hurt if you prolong the experience. Like, a bruise might not hurt after getting it, not until you press down on it again. But, usually, it's not pain. It's an ache or a throb or pulse. Hot and intense, but not outright painful. Sometimes, getting erect almost tingles, but not really, also. It's hard to describe. It's a rush, certainly. Electric and thick, arousal going through your body in this hot, pulsing wave.

Oh, also, pre-cum is a thing. Humid, hot, and wet. Personally, I haven't found that I get super wet in the same way fanfiction describes (including my own fanfiction, lmao). However, not all dicks are the same, some people really do drip. To me, it doesn't really feel like anything, aside from registering as wet. It's not like ejaculation where I can feel it happening--it just comes out amidst the waves of pleasure and arousal already happening. And if I'm already using lube/lotion/whatever, it's actually fairly hard to notice.

Another way to describe it is like a bug bite--just stick with me here, lmao, I grew up camping and being ✨️manly✨️ so I have had lots of bug bites in my life.

Imagine the feeling of having a bug bite without the urge to itch the bite. What you have left is the swelling, the pressure, and the heat. You're very aware of the bite, and even hovering your hand over the bitten area means you can feel the radiating heat, plus there's this insistent need to do something about it (itch, lmao, don't you enjoy this mental image). Without touching, though, it still feels like something, right? It's swollen and tight. Pulsing, even. Plus, when you have a bug bite, the skin that you normally don't really notice becomes hypersensitive. Alive and awake. When you're hard, your dick is especially sensitive and responsive.

Pre-orgasm

Probably the best way to describe the build to orgasm and ejaculation (which, I know, for some men and dick-havers, can be separate events (dry orgasms) but for me they've always been the same, lol) is similar to how you feel when you've been out all day, on a road trip, or whatever has happened that's resulted in you not being able to go piss. But! Suddenly, you know you're going to be able to go piss--you're walking into your home, or you finally stopped at a rest stop, etc.--and your body is like, Oh, I Know What This Means. Now Is The Time. And you feel yourself start to relax prematurely even as the pressure continues and maybe even worsens. It's relief. It's pressure and heat, and it can get to the point where it's been so long that it hurts.

Lmao, it's almost like the moment before a sneeze but more tension and more pleasure; the same sort of time stopping as you wait for the moment to overtake you, though.

Also, edging is absolutely a thing, as are ruined orgasms for men and people with dicks, that being said, though... I find that it is near impossible to hit the breaks once the pressure is building and you're almost there. It's like a cliff precipice, and there's no holding back by the time you're aware you're at the edge. It definitely has something to do with how short the conscious build-up to orgasm is. Like, the whole time, my arousal is ramping up, but by the time I'm aware, oh, shit, now, it's kind of too late to do anything, lol.

Orgasm

In my experience, orgasm and ejaculation mirror each other--they happen at the same time, usually, so that tracks. They have the same sort of deep, rushing waves of heat and pleasure. In order to get the semen out at all, of course, the body's muscles are squeezing--rhythmically spasming, really--and I can feel it. Sometimes, those spasms feel stronger than others, and when it's strong, it feels like it's really being pumped, even ripped out of me.

The aggression or pure force of orgasms in fanfiction I find to be is fairly true. Not every orgasm is a double-over, gut-punched, ripped-out-of-you, teeth-gritting feeling, of course. Unfortunately, not everything is a sex-pollen, omegaverse knotting fantasy, haha. BUT from the way I've heard cis women describe orgasms as a full-body, more slowly fading, longer lasting experience, it seems like my orgasms are a lot more one note. It's building. Then breaking. And then gone.

It feels fucking great, of course. Tingling. Shivering. It's tight and hot, and then tighter and hotter, suddenly wet and tightening, pumping, blood rushing through my ears, but the only thing I feel is heat and pleasure. I'm not paying attention to anything else.

If arousal starts deep in my body, somewhere low, low between my spine and belly button, then an orgasm lunges forward and starts from the muscles around the base of my dick, spreading, reaching out lower and higher and wider. All directions. Radiating. It hits me in the balls and the flat muscles under my belly button. Contractions. Sometimes, it even reaches out to my hips, squeezing at the bones. It definitely tightens my balls, too. I've heard common "locker room talk" (as much as I hate that turn of phrase) description of ejaculation as shaking up a bottled soda and then unscrewing the lid as fast as you can and... yeah. I can get behind that. That's pretty close to how it feels.

Post-orgasm

Once it's over, I'm usually like, damn, when did I start breathing so hard? Lmao. I also nearly always get lightheaded afterward when with a partner. That moment of fuzzy vision, blinking a few times to get it to clear. It depends more when I'm jacking off alone--sometimes I have the same feeling, sometimes I don't.

(I also will say that I'm aware I work a little differently in my arousal and sexual response. I genuinely would rather get someone else off than get off myself. I specifically enjoy kinks when sex isn't always involved, and it's not about sex at all. So... maybe take this all with a few more grains of salt than normal when talking to someone on the Internet 💀 I don't even know if any of this is useful at all, though, lol.)

Erections don't go soft immediately after, naturally, but it is fairly soon if you aren't still in the headspace of being aroused.

With clean up, I don't mind it as much as I think fanfiction makes it seem like I should. Maybe it's because it's how it's always been, ever since I learned to jack off, so I don't find it to be a chore. I barely even notice that I have to do it 🤷🏻‍♂️ It's also not as much, volume wise, as fanfiction makes it seem like. Which, yeah, that's fantasy for you. It doesn't really matter anyway, lol. There's nothing wrong with a little extra semen here and there, haha.

Hopefully, this was helpful in some way! If so, go forth and write all the dick-filled filth possible 😘😘

#asks #personal #thoughts #tmi

[river-r1t3s]

💕, 🌻, 🤞 for seventeen (any member but preferably Seungkwan or Hoshi) plssss!! Thank youuuu

I did little drabbles instead of full fics, hope that's okay <3

💕- sniffles

Seungkwan-

It started innocently enough, a small sniffle, barely noticeable over the chaos of dinner. Seungkwan himself thought nothing of it but Vernon, who sat next to Seungkwan noticed the sniffle. A moment later a second sniffle came, then a third. Not long after a fourth. Eventually Vernon was getting a bit confused, (maybe even a little annoyed) he nudged Seungkwan with his elbow. Seungkwan stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth, "what's up?"

"you keep sniffling" Vernon softly said, Seungkwan shrugged, "the spices are making me sniffly" he explained, Seungkwan sniffled again, "then blow your nose, you keep sniffling right by my ear, it's all I've heard the whole meal. Seungkwan apologized, he took a napkin from the center of the table and blew his nose. Right after his breath hitched, he ducked towards his elbow, "hktchU - tcCHU- kekTChHu"

"bless you Kwan" a few of the members said, Seungkwan thanked them and took another napkin to blow his nose, "are you okay?" Jeonghan asked, The other members had drawn their focus to Seugkwan, who was sniffling into a tissue, "the spices" he said with a nod towards the food, "ktchu- hehh- hKtchu"

"bless you"

"thank you" he said, he blew his nose. "you sure you're okay?"Jihoon asked, Seungkwan nodded, "I'll be fine. I'll just be a bit sneezy while I eat the spicy food." Seungkwan explained with an itchy sounding sniffle. Seungkwan went back to eating normally, despite him having to stop and sneeze every few seconds. Vernon had gotten just a bit fed up with him, but also knew that Seungkwan had put up with him and his flower allergies for years so he chose to just ignore it.

Hoshi-

"It's gonna snow tomorrow" Hoshi commented, seemingly out of nowhere. Chan, Jun, and Minghao all looked at him, "what?"

"it's gonna snow tomorrow" Sooyoung repeated, he sniffled, "how do you know that?" Jun asked, looking as if he didn't quite believe him, "because I get a snf stuffy nose when it's gonna snow"

"that's not a real thing" Chan said with an eye roll. He pulled out his phone, "even the weather says it's gonna be sunny tomorrow"

"it is!!" Hoshi said stubbornly, right after he sniffled. "I'm serious. why do you think I always get colds in winter"

"because you never wear a jacket" Minghao chimed in from his spot on the floor. Sooyoung rolled his eyes and kept stretching, he sniffled again. "I think you're doing that on purpose" Chan said, playfully rolling his eyes at the performance team leader . "Am not!!!" he sniffled again, which caused the other dancers to groan. "Guys!!!" they all started laughing at him

~the next day~

Chan was awoken the next morning by Jun and Minghao screaming and running into his room, "what the heck guys!!!!?"

"he was right!!!!" Jun yelled flopping down on Chan's bed. "who was right?" Chan asked, his brain still trying to wake up. Sooyoung" Minghao said, he walked over to the window and drew back the curtains, snow was falling outside. "how?" just then a harsh sneeze came from the other room, "maybe he does get colds when it snows" Chan said, he climbed out of bed and went to the team leader's room. Sooyoung was standing by his closet, a tissue up to his nose as he used his other hand to sift through his clothes. "aktchHu- hhatcchu"

"bless you" Sooyoung flinched at the voice, he blew his nose, then turned around. "I told you guys!!" he said with a wet sniffle. "sorry, but you know, it did sound kinda crazy"

"yeah, it's a bit strange. Took me a while to get used to it" he paused, "ATChu- atCHu- snf but every time it's gonna snow"

"Sooyoung makes a better weather man than the actual meteorologist." Jun said with a laugh. The maknae rolled his eyes, "how long has this happened for?"

"I think since I broke my nose back in 2019"

"you broke your nose?"

"y-hh-hea- atCHhu- atchHu- during filming one time"

"how come we didn't know?"

"no one did, except me, our manager and Scoups hyung, mainly because our manager made me tell him" Sooyoung explained, he sniffled and blew his nose again. "Sorry for not believing you hyung" Chan said sheepishly. The maknae shrugged, "I wouldn't believe me either"

🌻- taken by surprise

Seungkwan-

The vocal unit was gathered in the studio recording something for their newest album, things had gone smoothly all morning. That was until Seungkwan had started recording. The second he started singing he felt a strange tickle in his nose. He rubbed his nose and ignored it. He started singing again and the tickle came back. He put his hand up to stop the recording. Jihoon stopped and gave Seungkwan a confused look, when the youngest vocalist ducked towards his elbow and sneezed twice. "All good?" Jihoon asked, Seungkwan gave him a thumbs up. Seungkwan was able to film two lines before his nose started tickling again. He raised his hand again, signaling a stop. Jihoon gave him a confused look, but did pause the recording. "Everything alright Seungkwan?"

"kktchu- kktchshu-ttchshu- ugh sorry"

Jihoon signaled for them to stop completely. The staff did so, he went into the studio, "everything okay Kwan?"

"I don't know what's wrong with me! My nose itches."

"you sick?" Jeonghan asked looking a bit concerned. Seungkwan shrugged. "I felt fine all day, still do, just keep- kktch-tchu-hTchu sneezing"

"is it allergies?"

"I don't think I have allergies" Seungkwan said, he turned away and sneezed again. "You could have developed some, or come in contact with something new" Joshua said, he turned to the staff, "has this studio been cleaned recently" they nodded, "do you have the cleaning stuff that was used?" The staff nodded and left the room, "what's that for hyung?"

"well the room smells faitly of the cleaning stuff, I wonder if you're having a reaction to it."

"I hadn't even noticed the smell" Seokmin commented. The other members agreed. "It's really faint" Joshua said, "you just have a really strong sense of smell" Seungkwan said, "I can't smell it either, "it's possible that you can't but you're still reacting to it" Jihoon said with a shrug. Seungkwan shook his head, "I've literally never been allergic to anything"

"it could be something-"

"hh-ktchUH kktchu-"

"bless you, something new" Joshua explained, Jeonghan handed a few tissues to the youngest of the vocal team. He thanked him, his face flushed lightly in embarrassment.

The staff returned with a bottle of cleaner, "Kwan can you just smell this?" Seungkwan gave the bottle a look of distain, "just do it" Seokmin said nudging Seungkwan. He gave a dramatic sigh and took the bottle, "it's pointless anyways, I'm not allergic to any-" he caught a whiff of the scent and instantly pushed it back to Joshua, "HHKTchu- TchhhU- ketChu- hhektCHHu- EKTCHhuh"

"bless you" the others said, Jeonghan handed Seungkwan a few tissues, he took them enthusiastically and pressed them to his nose, he sneezed four times into the tissue and blew his nose. "Ugh"

"I think you might be allergic to that" Seokmin said, he patted Seungkwan's shoulder. "Can I go home and shower?" Seungkwan asked, looking absolutely miserable. "Of course, do you want someone to go with you?" Jeonghan asked, looking worried about Seungkwan, whose eyes were swollen and his nose bright red, "I'll text Vernon" Seokmin said, patting Seungkwan on the back. He said a congested thank you to Seokmin.

Vernon came a few minutes later to get his boyfriend and take him back to the dorm, "I'm surprised, it's usually you picking me up" Vernon said laughing a bit. "I know, I was really surprised" Seungkwan sneezed, "bless you"

"thanks, but I've never been allergic to anything before. It's so strange. It- kktchHu- ektchu- ttchu- awful. I hope that this is very much a one time thing."

Hoshi:

The performance team was choreographing something for their upcoming comeback. The whole morning had been absolute chaos. It had started thunder storming 15 minutes after the got there and the storm caused the power to go out, but the team (specifically Sooyoung) was determined to contiune working, despite it being nearly impossible. A rough demo that Jihoon had sent them played from Chan's phone speaker, barely even able to be heard over the storm outside, the lack of stable cell service also meant the audio was skipping and crackly.

But as if the storm outside wasn't enough, the members had started to notice how raspy Sooyoung's voice had gotten, but whenever it was brought up or mentioned Sooyoung was quick to explain it was from yelling over the thunder. The others let it go because it did make sense.

Halfway through one of their run throughs Sooyoung stopped dead in his tracks, the others looked at him in confusion. "Sooyoung is everyth-"

"HUTChu- ehtcHHu- aKkTchu"

"bless you" Sooyoung shook his head to clear the cloudy feeling and rubbed his nose, "sorry guys, let's get back in position" the others nodded and began moving when the leader of the unit stopped dead in his tracks and ducked his head towards his elbow "stchu- ktcCHu- hhestchu- hKtchu- ugh sorry"

"you okay hyung?" Chan asked, he looked concerned, Sooyoung nodded, "I'm fine."

"you sure? Dust bothering you?" Jun asked, knowing how sensitive Sooyoung was around dust. Sooyoung shook his head, "no, not allergies. I can say that for sure"

"you're sneezing a lot though"

"I don't get a sore throat with allergies"

"Do you have a sore throat?" Minghao asked looking surprised, "a bit yeah. Felt fine earlier"

"maybe you're getting sick."

"were you outside in the rain?" Chan asked, "you can't get sick from going in the rain Chan" Sooyoung said with a hint of exhasperation, "I know that, but if you went out in the rain and then came in the studio where it's cold, then maybe that could make you a bit sick"

"I don't know if it works like that" Sooyoung said before sneezing again. "Well whatever the cause is, it seems like you've got a cold so you should probably head back to the dorm and get some rest" Jun said as he starts gathering his stuff. "probably a good idea" Chan agreed and Minghao nodded, "I'm fine guys"

"you need rest, especially if you're getting sick. We don't want you to get worse with the comeback around the corner. And with how fast it came on I haven't ruled out the flu yet, so I'd rather be safe than sorry" Minghao said and handed Sooyoung's bag to Jun. "Ugh, fine" Chan smiled and put his arm around the leader's shoulders, "not like we were really getting much done anyways" Sooyoung started to protest but ultimately followed the maknae out of the studio. Once back in the dorms he was pushed to the shower and quickly sent to bed after.

🤞- stifles

Seungkwan:

There was a tense air in the van on the way to schedules. Seungkwan had been caught faking being sick to get out of going to schedules all of the previous few days. So the members had all gotten quite angry, but Seungkwan was nervous as this morning when he woke up he had a stuffy nose and a headache. Which he assumed was karma for him faking. But he also knew his members wouldn't believe him and would likely just get mad. Halfway to the studio his nose began tickling, he discreetly tried rubbing at it, trying to keep the sneeze from coming out. But eventually the tickle got really bad and he knew he was going to sneeze he pinched his nose and stifled a sneeze trying not to move much, or any. Mingyu, who was seated next to him, felt Seugkwan move a bit but didn't say anything, too irritated to really care what the youngest vocalist was doing. But when it happened three more times within the next 4 minutes he was starting to get annoyed, he looked at Seungkwan and saw his eyes were wet with what looked like tears. "Kwan are you seriously crying?" Mingyu felt irritated, thinking Seungkwan was upset he had to work. When in reality Seungkwan was fighting his tears as the stifles had caused his minor headache to turn quite painful. "no hyung, just got some dust in my eye" Seungkwan said softly, his throat had begun hurting from the sneezes. Mingyu wanted to believe him, but also felt a bit concerned when he noticed there was a congested note in Seungkwan's voice.

Once the group arrived at the studio Mingyu pulled the leader aside, "I think something is wrong with Seungkwan, he seemed upset in the car and his voice sounded off" Seungcheol shrugged, "maybe, but what if he's just faking again"

"right" Mingyu said, but deep down he really didn't think that Seungkwan was faking anything. The group went to a room to begin filming and Mingyu almost tripped when Seungkwan suddenly stopped right in front of him, "Kwan you good"

"hngphm- nngtchh- hnmphch" Mingyu wasn't sure what was wrong with Seungkwan but whatever it was, it sounded painful. "Kwan you okay?" he asked again, Seungkwan smiled, "yeah, all good" Mingyu noticed that Seungkwan's voice sounded very strange. Mingyu also noticed how pale Seungkwan was. "Kwan are you sick?"

"NO!!!" He said, he coughed after, "Shit Kwan. If you're actually sick you need to rest"

"No, they won't believe mbe- 'sall my fault" Mingyu was worried, "Seugkwan, I can tell them you're actually sick" He felt worried seeing the usually playful member almost crying just from a simple conversation. Seungkwan suddenly turned away from Mingyu very quickly and clamped his hands roughly around his face, "HNGtch-hhnptch- NGTChh-" Seungkwan wimpered softly, "Kwan if it hurts don't do that"

"don't want to bother" he coughed, Mingyu cringed at how painful it sounded, "Seungkwan, I know you made a mistake but if you're sick you can't be at work." He put his arm around Seungkwan's shoulder and walked with him to the rest of the members. Kwan let out a small whimper.

"Guys, Seungkwan isn't feeling very well--"

"Mingyu we just went over this he's fine" the leader interrupted looking irritated. Seungkwan sniffled and a few tears fell, he quickly wiped them away, brushing his sensitive nose in the process and triggering three sneezes, which he stifled into near silence, which caused him to audibly whimper. "Seungkwan, stop." Vernon, who was usually very soft for his youngest hyung, said. Absolutely no hint of softness now. This seemed to be too much for Seungkwan and he shrugged Mingyu's shoulder off and ran out of the studio crying. This caused the whole group to freeze in shock. "Told you guys" Mingyu said. "He's been stifling his sneezes all morning and it's very clearly hurting him. He almost started crying from it in the car" The members all looked guilty, especially Vernon and Seungcheol, who were both nervously twisting their hands. "I'll go get him" Vernon said, he quickly left the room. He found Seungkwan crying in a corner by a vending machine. "Oh Seungkwan, I'm sorry" Vernon said sitting next to him. "I'm sorry!" Seungkwan sobbed, Vernon felt his heart break for the vocalist. Vernon put his arms around Seungkwan. "It's okay Kwan. We should have believed you." Vernon noticed a warmth coming off of Seungkwan, "you have a fever Boo"

"oh" Vernon helped Seungkwan stand and go to the studio where the others were. As soon as they saw Seungkwan they all started apologizing. Which made Seungkwan cry again and he started explaining how he shouldn't have lied and how sorry he was. His words were woven in between sobs. The members helped Seungkwan back to the van where he was taken back home. Seungcheol and Vernon were obviously still feeling pretty guilty and stayed back with him, along with Mingyu, who Seungkwan, in his feverish mind seemed to find comfort in.

#seventeen #seungkwan #dino #lee chan #sneeze #sick #allergy #ksnz #idol snz #fluff

[r6-unifiedlands]

Lunchtime

[Polaris "Ursa Minor" Harmonics & Aarre “Switchblade” Kärkkäinen]

Summary: Today's lunch for Ursa didn't go as usual.

A/N: I finished this short drabble in spite of a rollercoaster of a mess fic made by a friend. Also, OC is by @corvidcrows

One of the perks as a member of Nighthaven is the free-for-all buffet for all mealtimes, even including midnight snacks. The cafeteria is something that unites all agents from all backgrounds and ethnicities in one spot, eating different things while also having a banter with their friends.

It’s good for Polaris’ own finances to lower groceries’s monthly budget and reduce food waste. But she’s a very picky eater in a way of “She won’t eat if the food looks unappetizing.” And buffet food often looks very, very unappetizing.

She’s sure it tastes good. But her brain would convince her to throw up if she fed herself with that without tweaking the appearances. That’s why she used the free meal perk to bring them as leftovers rather than eating them right there.

So there she was, eating her lunch at a secluded corner of the mess hall while sitting on the floor. Wedging herself between two vending machines got her strange looks from other staff. But who cares? She likes being in tight corners sometimes.

“Guten tag, Ursa.” Polaris tilted her head slightly upwards to see Monika’s smiling face. “How you doing? Comfy in there?”

“I like the pressure it gives. Makes me feel safer.”

The engineer’s calloused hand found its way to pat her head and left her alone. Why do people always aim for her head, anyway?

“Friend?” Her head tilted a bit higher now, seeing the familiar whitish blonde of a certain Norwegian with his award-winning smile that took the heart of his hundred thousand followers on Instagram. 

“Hm? Yes, Ace?”

“Why you’re in there? That position doesn’t look comfortable.”

“You’re the second person to ask that today.” She took a bite of her spring rolls. “IQ asked me just now. I just like the pressure, that’s all.”

“The only thing you’re lacking now is a fake tail and a pair of cat ears, friend.” He winked as he reached down to grab his can of drink, making the younger agent’s face heat up a bit. “See you around! Remember we have Operation Skyscraper at zero two hundred!”

Once again, she was left all alone. This time feeling sheepish.

She needed to eat fast before she got spotted again-

“Little bear?”

The food that she was currently chewing went straight to her windpipe, making her choke and cough violently. 

There stood Switch, hands crossed on his chest. Baby blue eyes behind the framed glasses staring down at her with curiosity.

She’s still not used to the sweet nickname, goddamnit!

The Finnish agent fumbled with the mobile computer on his prosthetic arm and she could feel slight movements in one of the vending machines. He reached down and grabbed two cans of coffee latte, then passed one to her. 

Did he just hack a fucking vending machine?? Does this thing operate through the Internet???

Well, Polaris didn’t think too hard about it for now. She cracked open the top and chugged the whole thing, then quietly sighed. No more itchiness in her throat and she liked the cold liquid cooling down her body a lot.

Switch cracked open his own can and took a small sip. “This tastes like water.” He muttered.

“The fuck you think it is? This canned coffee latte brand is among the top ten least-selling items for these vending machines. Expensive and shit-tasting.”

He raised one of his eyebrows. “That’s a specific information to know.”

“I’ve been hanging around here for months. Fuck off.”

“Quite a charmer today, aren’t you?”

An empty can flew towards the hacker and he tilted his head a bit to dodge the attack of a very flustered SAR member. “One day I’m going to kill you with my bare hands.”

“You mean bear hands?”

“THAT’S IT, I’M RETRACTING MY HIPPOCRATIC OATH TO HIPPOCRATIC SUGGESTION.”

Her reaction caused the other to let out a snorting laugh, his prosthetic reached down to pat her head. “Okay, okay, I’ll tone it down for now.” Switch gave a grin. “Because I’m in a good mood.”

Polaris pouted, before prying herself out from her usual corner while holding Switch’s prosthetic as he pulled her up. As much as she liked her little place, she also liked being free from the pressure. 

“Why’re you wandering around here anyway?” She asked, dusting her pants from the dust sticking onto her jeans. “I thought you were on a debriefing session with others.”

“Boring. I sneaked out from the meeting room.” He started to walk, and she followed him from behind. 

“You’ll get your ass whooped by Kali at one point.” Her voice was softer. She’s genuinely worried that his behavior like this would get him in trouble. “Did you get hurt? Have you got yourself checked?”

It’s Switch’s turn to look at her, frowning. “I’m good, Ursa. I didn’t slip up like last time.”

“I’ll trust your words this time.” Her reply was short. “As long as you’re alright, I don’t have much comment.”

It’s hard to put her trust in Switch’s own well-being, considering how hidden he was in the past regarding his injuries. So many times Finka had to report to her that the man himself came to the medbay. And countless times, she had to sprint at full speed to catch up to him and and drag him back to either medbay or to her office.

“I appreciate that.” There was a small hum coming from the taller man, a small smile plastered on his face. “Do you want to grab a proper coffee? That watery stuff ruined my tastebuds and I need a better cuppa.”

The statement made Polaris chuckle. “I know a place near the city. My sister recommended it to me, but I never got my chance to visit it.”

“I guess we have that chance now? My treat, of course.”

Her breath hitched as the Switch leaned down, his face getting closer to her with that usual teasing tone. She’s trying so hard to hide her flushed face, dusted with pink.

“Well…if it’s your treat…How can I reject an offer of free things…” A poorly disguised excuse that she’d chosen to gaslight herself, all with the straightest face that she could muster right now.

He’s your co-worker, Ursa. Get ahold of yourself!!!

A sensation of cold metal holding her hand came to drag her down to stabilize herself from being flustered. But soon it came back in full force when she looked down and trailed towards the source.

Switch with a shit-eating grin. His cold prosthetic arm gently held her hand.

Oh, he’s fucking with her.

He tugged her hand, leading the way to the outside of the base, looking visibly brighter than before. “Don’t die on me, Bear. We still haven’t gotten that coffee that you promised yet.”

At least, her lunchtime didn’t end up as monotone as usual.

#r6s #r6s oc #operation northern skies #operation owl's daybreak #Wish y'all see the fic Candid was cooking #It was devastating I am devastated

[palindromefancorner]

Fairy bloop

Fandom: Invader ZIM

Pairing: ZaGIR (ZIMxGIR)

Characters: ZIM, GIR, MiniMoose (sort of) Mentions of Dib, Gaz and The Tallest.

Rating: T

Chapter: One shot ✩ 1531 words

Notes: This is some mild ZaGIR, if you don't like this ship, read anyway, you might end up into it.

It made me laugh that ZIM didn't get Gaz name's right in issue 16, so I used that here; also a lot of little details I got mostly from the comics.

Summary: ZIM is faced with a life-and-death situation in which one call to his lunatic partner in crime could be his last hope.

Invader ZIM belongs to Jhonen Vásquez

This fanfic was written by your pal, Pal 🐟

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

This is stupid, so stupid, everything else fails but me! That's the reason I am here all numb and bruised, adrift in space. Well, I guess it wouldn't be the first time.

So why does it feel like there's something different?

It is I, ZIM, the one destined to greatness, everybody should know that by now! But if it is as bad as it seems, if I'm done for, would anyone even notice? Dib would, I'm sure, the puny earthworm would think I'm working on my newest, most incredible plan. He would tell everything about it to Gus, even though she doesn't care; it is amusing for me to think that she hates his voice, maybe more than I do.

The Tallest sure will notice! Their most important invader, gone; my mission, a failure. It can't be, it won't be, I won't allow it. I am ZIM! I do not surrender. So even if every little move is pain and even if my PAK is overheating just to keep me alive, my genius brain is all I need! Mini Moose broke with the impact, but I don't have to fix them completely, just enough to make one call.

So I fix the little ones as fast as I can, which feels really slow, and right when I'm finishing I have to stop, my PAK is sending me a warning. It's ok, I won't move for some minutes, and then it will heal me enough, the warning will stop, I will make that call. And if I'm lucky, the answer will be quick; you'll be happy to talk to me, as you always are.

The best I can do is stay still, think of other possible solutions, and realize that maybe I'm worst than I thought if this is my desire: I wish we were in the sofa, binge-watching Floopsy Bloops Shmoopsy, that nonsense show. I would tell you how bad your taste is, and you would agree as you let out a little laugh.

Some distant stars and galaxies I see sparkle with a cyan tone, and seeing that color makes my eyes itchy even if I'm not wearing my human lenses.

I curse my PAK for not healing me faster, I curse the Voot Cruiser for being broken, and I curse the moment I decided not to bring you, only so you could go on with that obsession of making pancakes you have right now. And maybe I'm delirious for thinking that you being here would make things better, but I also know that the times I really do need you, you are there, with your burst of energy, with your crazy laugh that matches mine. You would take us home.

Why won't my PAK stabilized? Is it really this damaged? If I don't make that call, then it will be all over, won't it? Dib will win, Gus won't care, The Tallest will bring doom to the galaxy, without me! If I can't make that call, I won't be able to hear your voice again.

But still, somehow, I hear it.

"Master!" You say with that high pitch that hurts my head and soothes my squeedlyspooche.

"Maaaasteeeer, MaAAAaaaaaAaaAaaAAAAasssteeeEerr!" Now you sing at the top of your lungs, and my peace becomes irritation.

"GIR, please, stop singing" My voice comes out almost a whisper.

"Okey then!" You say happily.

Wait, what? As I almost jump from the seat, the alarm of my PAK goes wild.

"GIR!"

"Master! I made a pancake that looks like your face, wanna see?"

"No, GIR, listen"

"Are you suuure you don't wanna seeee?"

"Now that you say it, I kind of do" My voice is so low I don't know if you can hear me, but there's no way to see the pancake, since we are speaking through Mini Moose.

"I'll show you only because you're sooo cuuute" Then there's silence. You hung up, didn't you?

Did you really call me just for that? I can't even move a muscle, my PAK is reaching its limit and all I can think about is you showing me some deformed pancake.

I realize I've been smiling, why do I smile? Did I really want to hear that high-pitched voice so much? Maybe I'm just about to die, yes, the eternal slumber is here for ZIM, and even though my tactical strategies are flawless, I have no strength left to fight.

But that thought gives me an idea, if I do that human thing, sleeping, I will heal faster. I'm such a genius! When I wake up — if I wake up, no! Don't panic— I'll call you, I'll even be able to fix the Voot Cruiser, I know I can do it. So I let myself drowse while holding Mini Moose. My mind replays that nonsensical call, your aggravating and endearing singing voice.

─────⋅☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☽⋅─────

I'm taller than The Almighty Tallest, and I lead the armada right to the Florpus. You come to me, riding Mini Moose, hugging a handful of the taquitos you love so much.

Love.

You give me one taquito, then you ride out of the ship as you scream the word master and wave at me; I see that you are going to the moon, and I change the course of The Massive to follow.

With the sudden turn, The Massive is upside down, the snacks and the Irkens float around me.

─────⋅☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☽⋅─────

I wake with a jolt caused by the electric shock the PAK sends when the body shuts down. I try to understand what is happening, but it makes no sense, it reminds me of some human made up magic creatures they call fairies, they can be evil, benevolent or both? Yes, right, dumb; but, right now, I feel like I'm seeing one of them, flying towards me, surrounded by sparkles.

Am I still dreaming?

Then I see it is you, flying too fast to meet me, laughing and crying at the same time. Are you one of those fairy creatures? Have my PAK finally stop functioning? I feel like I'm falling sleep again, this time against my will.

I fight it enough to see how you enter the Voot Cruiser and take me in your arms with a delicacy I didn't thought you're capable of, you say something, but I can not listen. So this must be a dream, yes, my perfect plan: sleeping, recovering, fixing, going back to the base to binge-watch some dumb cartoon, maybe eat pancakes and conquer earth together.

I promised you the moon, and I will keep that promise!

─────⋅☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☽⋅─────

"I bloop you, Shmoopsy!" It's the first thing I hear, I groan and with effort I open my eyes, in my lap I see a plate with a weirdly shaped pancake served, it actually looks like me. I try to reach it, but it is hard when I'm exhausted, with all this blankets wrapping me and that weight on my shoulder. Oh, it's you.

When you look at me, you shine with the sweetest, most confusing smile I've ever seen, it makes my eyes feel itchy again. I get angry at you, and if I'm angry I shouldn't be smiling back like I am.

You take the plate from my lap to put it aside and loosen the blankets enough to tuck yourself in, hugging me tightly. All I can think is how crazy you are, and I return the hug as I almost never do, holding you close, listening and feeling your voice against me.

I break the embrace so I can understand what you are trying to say.

"I made so much pancakes, master. One looked like me, but I ate it; it was so sad!" But you laugh anyway "it said 'NoOOOoooo'" you laugh harder "I also made one shaped like Mini Moose, wanna seeee?"

I haven't even reply when you are leaving my side, but something stops you, it's me. When did I start holding your hand? I didn't even realize.

"Don't you wanna see, master?" You come closer and I feel better. A wave of emotion makes me shiver as I see that my PAK is connected to the base's computer, it's working, now successfully healing my body.

I look at you with disbelief. You saved me, didn't you? You do the most inexplicable things, and I find myself admiring that more times than I care to admit. You called me when I couldn't, you brought me and Mini Moose to safety and made my most stupid wish come true.

"Master?" Oh. How much time was I just staring at you?

"I wanna see, GIR, but show me later. When I fix Mini Moose"

"Ooooooh, okeeee!" You jump up and down, jerking my arm. Then you stop to look at our hands intertwine, you hold them against your face and a giggle comes out, it grows into a burst of laughter and I laugh with you. What is so funny?

We laugh so much that happy tears start peaking, and we don't stop until you launch yourself to me, giving me a shooting star kiss.

It tastes like pancakes.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

-ˏˋ. The end ˊˎ-

#invader zim #gir #zim #fanfic #fluff #a bit of angst #a bit of humor #pal'sstuff #palwrites #ZaGIR #invader zim fanfiction #iz #zimxgir #girxzim #zim and gir

[decibelcoatl]

So, uh...teenage Lan headcanon that he's always admired Mayl since he was a kid, but never really saw her as anything more than his best friend, even despite Mayl's numerous attempts to get him to take a hint that she has feelings for him.

But once they're in high school, Lan starts seeing her in a slightly different angle, and his brain suddenly cannot think past "OMG pretty girl", and it makes him go red in the face, and he suddenly has the near-uncontrollable urge to SCREAM and CRY and THROW UP because how dare his best friend, his CHILDHOOD FRIEND, shut him down like that (not in the break-up way, but in the way he likes her as more than a friend and he just can't STAND IT because that's all his brain can think of when he sees her!!)

And when Mayl sees him red in the face, she thinks he might have caught a fever or something, which he straight up denies because it's not a fever, I like you but you also give me butterflies in my stomach when you're around me and I hate it when that happens, but also...

All he can do is hide his face in his varsity jacket (which he's not supposed to wear due to dress code but chooses to do so anyway because fuck that itchy-ass uniform coat, man), but everyone can tell! They can tell he is finally starting to develop a massive crush on the girl who supported him the most during his elementary school years, and it's so goddamn embarrassing! Girls gossip about it, guys cheer about it.

Yet, here is their hero. The ruffian kid who saved the world six times over, who reformed Wily by convincing him that he could be a good person again, and he doesn't know how to process a goddamn crush like a normal teenager would! Cannot understand why his heart wants to burst out of his ribcage, nor why these butterflies keep swarming his stomach!

MegaMan eventually takes it upon himself to just come up with something that Mayl would like. Give her a gift, or take her out on a date. But no! Lan has to tell her NOW, he needs to get these feelings out there, and he needs to get it off his chest! It's now or never, and hell, he'll be perfectly fine if Mayl doesn't return his feelings. So, he finally gathers up the courage to fess up to her. And, much to his relief, not only does she return the love he's been feeling for her, she also admits that she loves him...more than he could ever imagine.

And to him, that's more than enough for him.

#cyber rambles #oops I went on a tangent #oh well #Lan Hikari #Mayl Sakurai #Maylan #Mega Man Battle Network #I am once again knock knock knockin' on Maylan's door #long post #mmbn hc land

[eldritch-biqch]

Say Goodbye is Anti’s Demonstration of Power, c!Jack is IRIS’s equivalent of a Class D, and How IRIS Pissed off Anti (revival technology)

It’s a long title, but I think some people might enjoy these short theories all about Say Goodbye.

I’d recommend reading my theory on Kill Jacksepticeye and how it’s all about Anti threatening IRIS, this will kind of be in the same vein, and definitely follows the rules of ‘take this with a pinch of salt, it hinges on a lot of assumptions’. Also, as always, I’m open to being corrected on what we do and don’t know! Please just be polite about it :)

1. SG is just Anti establishing himself as a Professional Menace(TM)

In Say Goodbye, there is no obvious reason for Anti to kill Jack. Of course, there could always be backstory beef between them, but apart from Anti wanting a vessel (in which case he could kill anyone and take their body), there isn’t really much basis for Anti having it out specifically for Jack.

If Anti and Jack were put together for the express purpose of IRIS seeing what he’d do, then we can narrow it down to a couple of reasons:

Anti was bored and wanted to shake things up

Anti does have something against Jack, in which case it’s antis lucky day (but why did he wait the entire month before going in for the kill?)

Rather than having something against Jack, Anti wanted to send a message to IRIS. “Hey, look at this. I’m literally playing with you. I can murder this guy right now in a horrible way if I want to. Don’t believe me? Just watch!”

We’re going with the third option here. Anti knows that IRIS is watching their interactions, and he plays along, making them believe that he’s just annoying and makes people glitch out a bit, luring the watchers into a false sense of security with him. As soon as Say Goodbye comes along, they’re confident enough that Anti is harmless to give Jack some knives. They’re trusting Anti around weapons. Anti sees his chance, and not only demonstrates his power of possession and murderous intent, but also his ability to manipulate people: he made an entire agency believe he was harmless (of course, Jack was terrified but so would you if you were put with this entity for a month to see what happened and you were being constantly possessed).

Only after Say Goodbye do IRIS take Anti seriously, they give him his padded cell and keep him under surveillance.

2. C!Jack is IRIS’s equivalent of a Class D (SCP Foundation)

IRIS wouldn’t put anyone in a room with Anti if they thought they were important. They knew he could be dangerous, and it’s not worth risking your best people. That’s where c!Jack comes in: they put the two of them in a closed off space (all of the first month of the Seánanigans take place inside his house) and kept watching to see what happens. Jack starts playing video games as a way to keep himself entertained, and starts talking to the watchers to keep himself company. They give him the brain chip (see KJSE theory) to monitor him (he is an IRIS employee after all) and let anti loose on him.

See also: “you kept me inside” this could mean a lot of things, but I imagine they contained Anti, then when he got freedom it’s only like, diet freedom: he’s kept inside a locked house with one guy to torment. He feels like he deserves more (this links to part 3 as well).

3. How IRIS pissed off Anti

As I said above, Anti is firstly annoyed at being captured. We don’t know what he is, but I don’t think being kept in a small cell will be nice for anyone or anything. When he’s finally given some freedom, he’s allowed to roam one locked house and has one guy to torment, but that guy doesn’t acknowledge anti at all, he just talks to the camera and occasionally comments that his eye is itchy. Anti thinks he deserves more respect, so kills Jack to prove his point.

But then one day he sees Jack walking around like nothing happened. Mans been revived one way or another (looking at you Henrik and Marvin) and Anti is furious. It’s like IRIS looked at his demonstration, locked him up and just went ‘yeah as long as he’s in here he’s no threat’, basically adding insult to injury re Anti’s self esteem.

Anti wants to prove that he’s strong and menacing, and to do that he sets off making a plan on how to get IRIS to finally take him seriously: show them what he can really do. And that’s where we find KJSE.

#jacksepticeye #septic egos #antisepticeye #say goodbye #kill jacksepticeye #IRIS #eldritch theories

[gay-otlc]

More Santi thoughts (also brief warning for skin picking):

-He likes being organized, but also has terrible object permanence, so what ends up happening is that he knows exactly where the really important stuff is, and the rest is… somewhere. -Santi is good at reading people he knows really well, but it's something he had to consciously learn, rather than something natural to him. He has a hard time interpreting facial expressions especially, and even more so around people he doesn't know. -There's a fine line between routine and boredom. He likes having a schedule and making a list of what he needs to do, but he makes sure that not everything is exactly the same every day. -Scented soap is gross. It's fine on its own or on other people, but if he uses it, the smell gets overwhelming very quickly, and he used to think he was allergic to it, because it would make his skin feel really itchy. what no I'm not like this at all /s -There are a lot of social/conversational norms that Santi just. does not get, but a big one is eye contact. Brief eye contact is fine, a little weird especially if it's accidental, but it is what it is. Prolonged eye contact, on the other hand, feels very unnatural to him, and he usually looks at someone's forehead instead if he's in a situation that requires it. -Mostly, he just doesn't understand why it's rude not to make eye contact. Like, as long as you're looking at the person and paying attention, why does it matter if you're looking at their eyes or not? -He picks at his skin whenever he's bored or tense. It's mainly on his arms and hands, and occasionally his face. Mostly, he picks existing scabs, the skin around his fingernails, and his calluses. -As someone with calluses, they are the worst thing for a skin picking habit, because there's always some rough skin to pick at and it's very hard to stop. I will stop there but rest assured there are definitely more thoughts bouncing around in my brain. also why is the spacing so weird help

No worries if you don't have the time/energy but Ceres I think you should write a fic

Btw Wolfe is also autistic I'm assuming. I cannot imagine Santi wanting to date anyone neurotypical.

Imagine early in their relationship- like immediately post stormcrow- whenever Santi tries to talk to Wolfe he just tells himself make eye contact make eye contact make eye contact because apparently people think you don't like them if you don't look at their eyes and Santi wants Wolfe to know he likes him. Meanwhile Wolfe is going why is he trying to make eye contact with me no stop gross. Eventually the disaster gays COMMUNICATE and realize they both hate eye contact and they're both good with that.

Skin picking yes SO true. I can't remember the title but I read a fic where Santi picked at the burn scar (the Philadelphia one) when he was stressed and this has been promoted to canon. Also thank you for warning but this sign won't stop me because I can't read and now I want to pick at my face.

More thoughts on Wolfe and Santi both being autistic: They love to infodump to one another and they both love to be infodumped to. Wolfe goes on for two hours about some obscure historical fact and Santi is just about ready to propose. They also both love parallel play a lot. Not talking just existing in the same space (and probably reading because they're fuckin nerds).

Oh man oh fuck so many thoughts about them

#the great library #christopher wolfe #niccolo santi #also on wolfe being autistic #there is much that could be said with iron tower allegories #being alienated for not having the same abilities as everyone else -> neurodivergent

[dredshirtroberts]

well the tape has not gotten any easier to deal with but at least i'm starting to accept my fate continuing for the next 26 hours. the amount of joy and satisfaction that's going to come from taking this shit off is going to be so big i'd have had to record it in my heartbeat diary if i still had the thing on.

sleeping was... interesting. Thankfully i normally sleep with wired headphones in so i'm used to being attached to a device for at least part of my sleep cycle. That said, sleeping was still a nightmare. When i *was* able to really get some good snorks and mimimis in, i was having nightmares or having my brain jumpscare me awake for No Reason I Can Tell. Like the falling sensation but like. without the falling sensation, just suddenly "Wah! i'm awake!" which, y'know. fun.

i'm also like. struggling with the Awareness factor. it's that "am i feeling my heart doing something or am I just Aware I Have A Heartbeat" sort of deal. Which like. I know is the point of what we're doing here is to see what the fuck is going on and if it's Heart Related or if it's like. Some other thing.

It does not help I also had a really bad anxiety moment yesterday and i can't tell if i was having a hard time because of Mainly That or if it was all separate issues yesterday. so that's y'know. fun.

i hate this. i hope it gives me all the answers we need so i never have to do this again. the tape alone is my own personal actual hell. i know it's there to keep things attached/tamped down so it doesn't pull or tug, but like. i can't do it, guys. It's so fucking itchy i am going to have the *worst* rashes in perfect rectangles all over my torso and they're going to be so fucking uncomfortable because - and this is the stupidest part - i won't be able to cover them with bandaids to protect the raw parts because the bandaids will make shit worse due to the additonal adhesives.

and like yeah, the tape is bad enough on its own! and then, then you have the Wires. which either are digging into my skin to keep them from moving around and then creating divots that later fill with blood and itch when the wires are no longer digging in, or the wires are moving around and tickling me constantly. My chest skin is already some of my most sensitive skin this is just an absolute nightmare honestly.

but it's going the way it's supposed to, none of this is abnormal it's just... annoying as fuck and that's why I never want to do this again.

#holter monitor journey #i had more events yesterday than i had anticipated #but not as many as i feared it was going to be when i looked back at my notes to put them into my diary more succinctly #oh god okay i gotta stop trying to fuck with the tit electrode #it's the one in the most danger of being picked at because that's a normal picking spot and now it's Covered with a tantalizing Sticker #come on we can do it. nearly there. just one more solid day of this and we take it off tomorrow morning. hhhh