#also the elves are just as tall or taller but they NEVER smack their heads on the doorframes

[mirkwoodest]

I was thinking about Aragorn's stupidly long legs again and I think it should be canon that he regularly smacks his forehead into low door frames and stuff. Just somwhere in Minas Tirith there's a loud thunk followed by a long string of Sindarin swearwords and Arwen is like "ah yes, here he comes, the King of Gondor and Arnor, the love of my life."

#it's funnier because none of the humans around her are able to hear the thunk and the swearing so they think she has some kind of #Magical Elf Love Sense that anticipates his arrival #but no #she just hears him smacking his head on the weirdly low door by the eastern staricase AGAIN #also the elves are just as tall or taller but they NEVER smack their heads on the doorframes #unless they are very very drunk #txt #aragorn #arwen #lotr

[takahero]

in honour of finishing inkspell, here are some basta observations I picked up along the way. also, inkspell spoilers warning! i also have MANY MANY thoughts so i’d love to hear what you guys think to some of the questions raised

“He hadn’t changed: the same thin face, the same way of narrowing his eyes, and there was an amulet dangling around his neck to ward off the bad luck that Basta thought lurked under every ladder, behind every bush.” — pg.138

“Basta’s left hand was bandaged, Elinor noticed when he took his fingers away from her mouth.” — pg.139

“‘I’d have been here much sooner, believe you me, but they put me in jail for a while on account of something that happened years ago. No sooner was Capricorn gone than all the people who’d been too scared to open their mouths suddenly felt very brave.’” — pg.140 (see they never tell us WHY he was in prison, do they? the possibilities are endless. we know he committed atrocious things, like arson, but imagine if he got put in jail for something completely different…LOL)

“‘You wouldn’t believe how often I’ve told him there’s nothing to be ashamed of in going to jail, particularly when your prisons here are so much more comfortable than our dungeons at home.’” — pg.140 (OHHHTMGOD MEME IDEA)

“Basta flung his arm so roughly round Orpheus’ neck that his glasses slipped down his nose.” — pg.141

“‘Hold your tongue, Basta!’ Mortola interrupted him abruptly. ‘You’ve always liked the sound of your own voice.’” — pg.141

“‘Well, Silvertongue, I’m sorry it’s taken some time,’ he said in his soft, cat-like voice.” — pg.180

“‘My son always said revenge was a dish best eaten cold,’ observed Mortola.” — pg.181 (question. did basta find out about mortola’s true identity between inkheart & inkspell? do u think he realised it when mortola cried when capricorn died?)

“Basta passed a finger over his throat and winked at him.” — pg.186 (wink 2 LMAO)

“Basta bent down and picked up a rusty helmet lying at his feet. ‘What do you expect me to say?’ he growled, throwing the helmet back into the grass with a gloomy expression, and giving it a kick that sent it clattering against the wall. ‘Of course it’s our castle. Didn’t you see the figure of the goat on the wall there? Even the carved devils are still standing, though they wear ivy crowns now — and look, there’s one of the eyes that Slasher liked to paint on the stones.’” — pg.190

“‘So Basta was right after all. He’s dead, here and in the other world too.’” — pg.191 (interesting….so Basta knew Mortola’s plan wouldn’t work? he just wanted a ride home?)

“‘I’d really like to know what happened!’ he muttered. ‘I always said Capricorn wasn’t here, but what about the others?…What are we going to do if they’re all gone?’ Basta sounded like a boy afraid of the dark. ‘Do you want us to live in a cave like brownies until the wolves find us? Have you forgotten the wolves? And the Night-Mares, the fire-elves, all the other creatures crawling around the place…I for one haven’t forgotten them, but you would come back to this accursed spot where there are ghosts lurking behind every tree!’ He reached for the amulet dangling around his neck, but Mortola did not deign to look at him.

“‘Oh, be quiet!’ she said, so sharply that Basta flinched.” — pg.192

“‘You’re going to leave them here?’ That was Basta’s voice.” — pg.193 (at first I was like oh so he has a heart….but then he was mean to resa straight after this 🙄)

“‘Sorry, but he must have overlooked me, shut up in that cage as I was,’ purred Basta in his catlike voice.” — pg.377

“‘Wasn’t it Mortola who had you put in the cage to be fed to the Shadow?’ Basta just shrugged his shoulders and flung back his silver-grey cloak. Of course, he had his knife. A brand new one, it seemed, finer than any he’d ever had in the other world, and undoubtedly just as sharp.

“‘Yes, not very nice of her,’ he said as his fingers caressed the handle of the knife. ‘But she’s really sorry.’” — pg.377 (okay so it SOUNDS like he threatened/made some kind of bargain with his knife, but I strongly doubt that considering how afraid he seems of her?? i know he’s technically working for the adderhead but even by the end of the book, it seems he is far closer to mortola than adderhead. what is their relationship? or does he sincerely think she’s sorry/has deluded himself into believing such? UGH SO MANY QUESTIONS)

“Basta had always liked describing his own and other people’s abominable deeds in detail.” — pg.378

“‘But we’re not going to shoot you.’ Basta came a little closer to Fenoglio, his face as intent as that of a stalking cat.” — pg.378 …. living for all the cat references tbh

“‘He wants you to crawl on your belly to him, that’s what our noble lord and master likes. But never mind, he pays well!’” — pg.378 (yes basta all abt getting that bread LMAOOOO)

“He slowly drew the knife from his belt. Its blade was long and slightly curved.” — pg.379

“‘Hey Basta, I know you like the sound of your own voice.’” — pg.379 (AHAHAHAHA HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE CALLED OUT BASTA ON THIS NOW? IVE LOST TRACK)

“With a regretful sigh, Basta put the knife back in his belt. ‘Yes, very well, you’re right,’ he said in surly tones. ‘I need to take my time with this sort of thing. Questioning people is an art, a real art.’” — pg.380 (LMAOOOOOOO HE IS SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN)

“Basta. The same thin face, the same twisted smile. Only the clothes were different. Basta was no longer wearing his white shirt and black suit with the flower in his buttonhole. No, Basta now wore the Adderhead’s silvery grey, and he had a sword at his side. With a knife in his belt too, of course. But he was holding a dead chicken in his left hand.” — pg. 455

“‘Yes, they are!’ purred Basta. ‘The little witch, and the fire-eater into the bargain. It was well worth the wait. Even though I’ll probably never get that damned flour out of my lungs again.’” — pg.455 (ok….so who’s gonna draw basta sitting amongst the flour AAHHAHA)

“‘Servant? Who’s a servant here? Just listen to him. As bold as if he’d never felt my knife! Have you forgotten how you screamed when it cut your face?’” — pg.457 … don’t call basta a servant…..noted

“‘Oh, don’t look so disbelieving, little witch, I still can’t read and I don’t intend to learn, but there are enough fools around the place who can, even in this world.’” —pg. 457 (i wonder how much capricorn influenced basta’s views on reading. because capricorn said that he learnt how to read from a maid, right? so basta certainly wouldn’t have trash-talked reading in front of him. and even after living in OUR world for nine years, I’m still surprised that he never attempted to learn, given how dependent we are on it. anyway my headcanon is that he secretly wants to, but doesn’t want to give others the satisfaction of knowing they have something he doesn’t. also nobody he knows would be willing to teach him (unless he threatened them) bc of his obviously violent and short-tempered nature…and learning requires so much patience. still, though, would love a fic of basta being taught how to read in secret and having some kind of positive interaction)

“‘You’re even more talkative than you used to be, Basta.’ Dustfinger’s voice sounded as if he found this tedious.” — pg.458 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH IM DYING. honestly the animosity between them was just. A+++

“Basta was in an even worse state. He was sitting close to Mortola, his face so red and swollen that Meggie almost failed to recognise him. But he had escaped death once again. Perhaps the good-luck charms he always wore worked after all.” — pg.526

“The sunlight falling into the room made Basta’s face look like a boiled lobster.” — pg.575 

“Basta put his hand to the amulet hanging around his neck. It was not a rabbit’s paw, as he had worn in Capricorn’s service, but something that looked suspiciously like a human finger-bone.” — pg.581 (THIS STILL IRKS ME SO MUCH)

“The Piper straightened his back, as ready to attack as the viper on his master’s coat of arms…He was a good head taller than Basta.” — pg.582 WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING HES NOT TALL LMFAO

“The two men were standing so close that the blade of Basta’s knife wouldn’t have fitted between them.” — pg.582 HAHAHAJAHAAJAHAHHAAHAHAHAH PKESJENE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH … IMAGINE BASTA SQUARING UP W HIS NOSE JUST SMACK BANG IN THE MIDDLE OF PIPER’S CHEST OR SOMETHING

“The Piper struck Basta in the face so hard that his head hit the door frame. Blood ran down his burned cheek in a trail of red. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. ‘Take care to avoid dark corridors, Piper!’ he whispered. ‘You don’t have a nose any more, but one can always find something else to cut off.’” — pg.582-583 THIS SCENE WAS SIMPLY……CHEF’S KISS

are you serious is he dead??? WHAT. okay I knew dustfinger’s love for farid would be the end of him and basta being the instrument to rip that away from him was totally heartrending. i WISH it had been more climactic? like dustfinger unleashing his fury and fighting basta, blind with anger and grief. THE DIALOGUE POTENTIAL BETWEEN THEM AS THEY FINALLY TALK ONE-ON-ONE, and then some revisiting of the scene where dustfinger has the opportunity to kill basta but AGAIN withholds because killing is not in his nature….THEN MO IN SHINING ARMOUR SWOOPS IN TO DO THE JOB

now, off to inkdeath!

#inkspell #inkspell spoilers #basta #inkheart trilogy #BASTAAAAAA

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Elmer's Glue pt.1

Éomer/Reader

God you just can't get his name right, and it's a shame cause's he's cute af

Awkwardness Humor and Fluff

----

Someone like you shouldn't have survived nearly as long as you did.

You first came tumbling into Middle Earth a few days before departing for some big important quest to destroy a powerful ring, having landed yourself in a place called Rivendell that's full of elves and lovely scenery.

You were presented at some meeting and urged to join this 'Fellowship' and became a valuable member of the group even despite your lack of fighting knowledge, because you somehow had some sort of 6th sense regarding things that have yet to happen.

Just barely did you and your friends survive Helms Deep, The Hornburg, after all of those horrible events (losing Gandalf, Merry and Pippin being captured, and Frodo and Sam departing to continue on on their own), but once all is said and done, you're ecstatic to finally have a moment of rest and celebration.

A grand party is thrown in the royal halls of Rohan, but you're none to interested in the drinking or dancing.

Instead, you opt to watch everyone else enjoy themselves.

At some point after Legolas wipes the floor with Gimli in a drinking game, the prince, and brother of the sweet woman Eowyn, ends up meandering over to where you idly sit.

You remember riding with him to and from Isengard during your journey to reclaim your hobbit friends, though the two of you didn't speak much. It was kind of embarrassing for you to sit so close to him and attempt to share a conversation while looking straight ahead, so you didn't speak much at all, and he didn't engage himself often either.

It was surprising to you how comfortable the journey was, though, all things considered.

His horse was huge and he was just as large, but you never felt afraid or feared falling even once during the ride.

It's not a big deal, but it still stuck out to you since he's so clearly a very skilled rider.

Even after all that, however, you still totally blank out on his name when he suddenly approaches after helping Legolas bring Gimili to the resting area.

Your mind begins to race as you try to remember the name that belongs to him, and all too soon do you realize that you're both staring at each other and he's waiting for your to say something (probably after greeting you, which you did not catch).

"L-Lord... Elmer..." You say slowly after a moment, praying to god you got it right since you took inspiration from your favorite brand of kids glue.

He raises an eyebrow when you say his 'name', and a smile creeps on to his face. "Elmer?"

Ah, shit. You definitely didn't get it right.

"Elmo?" You mentally kick yourself for that one, he's definitely not a small red puppet monster, you would've noticed if he were.

He shakes his head this time, amusement painting his features as you struggle to come up with his actual name.

"Emir?"

Another head shake, and also a full on smile.

"It's not Edgar, is it?" It definitely doesn't sound right, but maybe you'll get lucky.

At this point, you know for a fact that your face is on fire, this is so embarrassing, but you simply can't remember.

"Would you like me to tell you?" He offers after you don't guess again for a time, leaning his arm on the table next to you, leaning closer to you.

Getting help at this point would be mortifying, so you deny his offer for the proper answer and take another crack and guessing. "No, no wait. I've got it! Your name is... Elinor..." You mentally smack yourself in the face for that one; he doesn't even look like an Elinor (mostly because he's not a woman).

"Not quite. Eomer is my name may I remind you."

So your first guess was the closest, but still so far away.

"W-Well, this is extremely embarrassing." You stutter out, adverting your gaze from his eyes which have suddenly become so close.

Eomer can't help but to laugh, and the smile that graces his lips is positively dashing.

You glance back up at him and notice right away, and once more your face begins to burn like a furnace.

"I-I didn't mean to forget, I swear! And I definitely wasn't trying to make fun of you either!"

His chuckles die down when your slightly panicked speech betrays your concern of being disrespectful, and he wastes no time in assuring you that it's perfectly fine. "If you are worried that you've upset me, then do not fret. I'm not offended, simply amused."

Well, that's a relief.

"Um... well, that's good- I guess," you tell him your name, then continue, "I feel so bad. You took me on your horse and everything and I didn't even remember your name! Gosh, I suck."

The tall blond-haired man looks at you oddly when you insult yourself so strangely, and you realize that you forgot to keep your other-word slang to a minimum since it can be hard to understand.

"Right, well, I came over to ask if you would like to join me on a walk outside. Are you interested?" He leans down a bit closer when he asks you this, acting as if he doesn't want anyone else to hear.

Typically you'd be more cautious than this, but you find yourself nodding along regardless.

---

Lord Eomer (you'll definitely remember his name this time, you swear it) took your hand in his and led you outside after you nodded your assent, and while you'd normally dislike being grabbed so casually, you allow it for some reason.

He releases you from his gentle hold once the both of you are beyond the party halls and outside in the cool night air at the bottom of the steps, and you finally find your voice to ask about his intent.

"So... did you want to talk to me about something or...?" You look up at him curiously with your hands clasped in front of you, twisting your heel in the dirt to ease the anxiousness.

"No, nothing in particular. I do have questions, but I simply wanted a moment alone with you," he pauses, then adds slyly, "Your friends have taken up al your time since we arrived, so I had hoped to steal you away for a time."

You aren't sure if you should be flattered, flustered, or both.

"I-I see... well, you've got me now." You mean it as a joke but it's hard to sound humorous when you're so flustered.

He only smiles and nods his head once, "I do."

Cue the awkward silence.

It appears that he's once again waiting for you to say something, so you decide to pull no punches and go straight for the heavy hitting topics.

"So, hows about that battle, huh? Crazy..."

His eyebrows knit together as he thinks over your strange speaking mannerisms, but he doesn't question it and only nods his head instead. "You could say that. The men fought bravely and we lost many, but our victory does not go unrewarded."

"Are you talking about the party?"

"Yes. That, and the knowledge that some of my men get to return home tonight and see their families."

His words bring a small, sad smile to your face, and you speak much more softly this time, "I'm afraid it isn't over, though. With everything going on, it's only a matter of time before we're all sent away again."

"We?"

Oh, right, he doesn't really know about your role in this merry group of misfits.

"Um, yes. I fight, er, kind of. I do my own thing really, but I can't afford to stay behind." It's hard to explain since you aren't sure what the extent of his knowledge is.

His uncle, Theoden, knows almost all about your deal, but does Eomer? He should since he's a key part of this whole Rohan operation, but it's not necessarily your place to tell him either.

"A shield-maiden?" He wonders aloud, taking a seat on the stone steps next to you two.

Even when he's sitting down he's taller than you, and it shoots an arrow of envy through you. The bigger you are, the more intimidated your enemies are, after-all.

"Not quite. I'm not the best at fighting really." It's kind of a lie, actually, because you've got some hidden skill that makes you pretty good at that kind of thing, but it has to do with your foresight to you choose not to explain much further.

Your answer seems to only confuse him more, however, for his eyebrows knit together and his smile tugs downwards into a frown. "You are not? But they bring you into battle regardless?"

Well, shit, now you're making them sound like negligent, reckless idiots.

"N-No- I mean, I'm okay but, uh, it's hard to explain." It's like you somehow just know how to affectively fight; it's like something inside of you just takes over and keeps you from dying, and it proved to be both extremely useful and also unexpected.

They found out about this 'hidden ability' (for lack of a better term) during the battle in which Boromir was slain and you first lost your hobbit friends. You were surrounded and everyone else was fighting for their lives, and in that moment of hopelessness, something inside of you snapped and the floodgates were opened.

Your skill lies in defense, not offense, but it was all you needed to make it through the fight alive and intact.

"I-I know it seems like they were being irresponsible, but there's more to the story- I swear!" You try to defend, taking a step closer to his seated form, "Really, they need me, so it'd be even more irresponsible if they didn't bring me along."

He doesn't seem to get it, for his doubtful expression remains and his frown deepens, but he tries not to judge too much either. "I... see."

A subject change seems like the best course of action, so you decide to ask him a question of your own. "W-Well... anyways. Why'd you want me to come out here with you?"

"I simply wished to learn more about the beautiful newcomer that graced our halls, and I find that I'm even more entranced than before."

Lord Eomer's words bring a flush to your face and leave you flustered, and it seems you can't get your brain to form a coherent thought either.

"Have my words troubled you?" He asks when you still don't manage to find your voice.

"N-No, it's not that..." You trail off and cover your mouth and nose coyly, looking off to the side when you find that you can't meet his gaze any longer. "I'm just not sure how to reply to that. I've been here so long I don't even remember how to flirt." Your words are, of course, an embarrassed joke, and it seems to land well for he chortles with amusement.

"If that is all it is, then it must be fine that I say you've caught my eye, and I'm afraid I cannot get it back until I know more."

"Know more about... m-me?" You repeat slowly, simply trying to wrap your head around it all, "Like... Like what?"  

Another dashing smile brightens his handsome features, and this time your heart flutters nervously when he does, "Anything."

You twiddle your thumbs in front of you and dip your head down, racking your brain for any information that would be interesting but not super telling in terms of your 'earth of origin.'

"Um... I can do this-" You raise one of your hands and bend your fingers all the way back until they're perpendicular with your palm, displaying your double jointed fingers effortlessly.

He stares at your hand trick for all of 5 seconds before he's standing up and worriedly asking, "Have you broken your hand?" He takes your hand in his own, delicately turning it around in search of bruises.

"N-No," you pause and look at his larger hands taking yours, then add shyly after, "It's just a trick. I'm double-jointed."

"Double-jointed?" He repeats slowly, not releasing your hand though he does cease his search for damage. "I... see."

He sure does say that a lot.

"I can also do this." You take back one of your hands and reach into your pocket and pull out a lighter that you've had with you all this time, then you ignite a flame and brandish it proudly.

The blond-haired man looks on with wide eyes, and he reaches out towards it, asking with amazement in his voice, "You created fire so effortlessly!'

"Yeah, this little device has, er, oil in it and it ignites it using a spark." It has been helpful many a-night when everyone else has been out and about doing stuff and you were left to tend to the fires. "Don't get too close though, it's hot."

He nods his head once and drops his hands to his dies, watching the small flame dance on the lighter before you blow it out and place it back in your pocket.

"Where did you find such a magnificent contraption?" He asks once it's out of sight, looking down at you with curiosity sparkling in his eyes.

"I, um... made it." You think it best to lie, though he doesn't appear to fall for it, and change the subject. "So, how about that weather we're having?"

Your sudden and shitty subject change makes him raise an inquisitive eyebrow, but after a moment he starts to laugh, "Yes, the night sky's are very clear tonight. As it should be the morrow after a raging battle."

It's strange and none too awkward since you're no good at this, but this normalcy actually almost makes you forget all the shit you've seen up until now.

"I would very much like to see you again." He says suddenly when the conversation dies down and you both just stand there in silence.

You look back up at him and offer a small smile, repeating softly, "Sure. I'd like that as well. But I'm still here, so we don't have to talk about later just yet, right?"

"I suppose not." He reaches down and grabs your right hand gently, raising it up while he also leans down, then he presses a feather soft kiss to the middle of the back of your hand.

Eomer looks up at you while he does so, and you find that your face has begun to heat up once more.

When he doesn't move to stand normally and continues to look up at you expectantly, you ask uncertainly, "Am I supposed to kiss your hand too, or...?"

It seems you're quite the comedian to this guy, for he stands up straight again and bursts into joyful laughter, reaching down to pat your shoulders, "No no, but if you wish to offer me one somewhere else then I would not deny it."

People in this place really waste no time beating around the bush, though you suppose they can't afford to waste much time when things like the Battle at Helms Deep happen every so often.

There are murderous orcs everywhere and danger at every turn for them nowadays, do you actually feel a sense of appreciation for his forwardness.

This time you find yourself laughing too, and you readily reply, "Maybe next time, Lord Eomer. We only just met, you know. I could be trying to steal a place in the royal line, for all you know."

His smile does not waver despite your warning against yourself, for he only shakes his head and squeezes your shoulders gently, "No, such motives always make themselves clear early on. Unfortunately for me, you're honest."

"Unfortunately?"

"Unfortunate for my heart, yes."

#eomer x reader #Eomer of Rohan #lotr eowyn #lord of the rings #lotr #reader insert #reader #lotr fandom #lord of the rings fanfiction #romance #fluff #humor #awkwardness

[everlarkbirthdaygifts]

Happy Birthday, omercilessmoon!

Happy Birthday, @omercilessmoon​! We hope you’ve got a wonderful day planned, and that you get exactly the presents you were hoping for! To start you special day off right, the lovely @mega-aulover​ has written a story just for you!

PROMPT: modern enemies/rivals to lovers with one-sided pining? maybe they share a dance?

Omercilessmoon

Title: Hate to Love You

A/N: This is part one of the story I’ve never really written: enemies to lovers with one sided pining - and I hope you enjoy and Happy BIrthday. Special Thanks to @norbertsmom for betaing and helping me through plot points, to @eiramrelyat for help with the drink and @mandelion82 for your generous help.  It takes a village to write a story.

Rated T - for mature themes

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The annual office Labor Day outdoor party was filled with laughter, barely edible canapes that never filled anyone up, and drunken naughtiness in dark corners. It was Friday afternoon before the big weekend. The company made holiday decorations and it made most of its revenues between Labor Day and Christmas. 

Katniss Everdeen always skipped out on these social rituals. This year however she could not. Her boss, Haymitch Abernathy demanded she attend. Apparently the owner of the company, Coriolanus Snow, wanted everyone to show up for some grand announcement. The one thing Katniss hated about these parties, and hated about her job in particular was that upstart show off Peeta Mellark.

He was schmoozing with the assortment of models dressed as pumpkins, elves, and turkeys. He was just too perfect. Perfect height, natural ashen blond hair, straight white teeth and an ass that was slap worthy. Katniss closed her eyes. As much as she loathed Peeta, she was also wildly attracted to him. She wanted to strip that stupid smile off of his face all the while living la vida loca on a springy bed. Oh, she wanted him so much she’d taken to carrying an extra pair of underwear, his voice did things to her during meetings. She could just envision what he would sound like in the bedroom.

The canape she held in her hand crumbled and she came back to the present. This weakness is why she loathed Peeta Sexy-Ass Mellark so much. No man should be that freaking sexy. No man should make her crazy by just looking at her. Turning around, she stomped away to the drinks bar; the only way to survive this was to get buzzed.

The bartender was handing a drink to the person next to her. When they finished Katniss said, “Excuse me…”

The bartender ignored her and moved to the person next to her. 

Katniss shook her head. She often found herself in this position. She waited for the bartender to finish. She wasn’t that tall and naturally people looked right over her head at the taller person standing behind her or next to her.  She waited patiently and listened as the DJ’s switched two songs.

“Evergreen.”

Katniss grimaced when she heard Peeta’s voice. He always mispronounced her name. Peeta Mellark did this to annoy her. He knew everyone's name, he knew birthdays and anniversaries but her name he always butchered, and somehow always forgot her birthday. She turned to face him. His eyes were dripping with frost, and she reciprocated the look. “Mellark.”

His frosty exterior melted the moment the bartender appeared. He turned into the Prince of charm and finesse. “Hello, may I have a suffering bastard.”

The bartender smiled and winked, “Sure.”

Katniss fumed; she’d been waiting for ten minutes. “REALLY!”

“What's the matter Everdeen, making enemies with the bartender?”

“NO! I’ve been waiting for ten minutes for a drink and you come up and of course they serve you first.”

He raised an eyebrow as if amused by her story. 

These were the things that annoyed her about him.”UGH!”

“It’s just you don’t look like the type of person who drinks.” His lips formed that mocking smile, that made her want to smack him. “You also don’t look old enough to drink.”

“I am old enough to drink, and when I do I like strawberry daiquiris.”  

“Strawberry daiquiris?” He sounded amused.

“Well it’s better than your, what are you drinking, a suffering…?” Katniss stopped as she realized what she was going to say.

“You can’t even say it, can you?”

His amusement at her inability to say the ‘b’ word frustrated her even further. “I can too.”

“Go ahead,” Peeta mocked.

Spurred by his dare she opened her mouth, but small choking sounds. She couldn’t curse, everyone in the company knew she had a problem with vulgar words. It was the fault of her 9th Grade English teacher Miss Trinket who would fail students for using vulgarities and incorrect diction. 

He chuckled dryly. "You're so pure."

His words were a backhanded compliment and it set her on fire. Katniss was a Pollyanna from a backwater town and he hailed from Capitol City, and it meant that she was simple and unsophisticated. It also meant inexperienced. And while some of it was true, he didn't know what she thought, orr how tempted she was to push him into a dark corner and have her way with him.

Her problem was she did not have the words to communicate with him. Words weren't her thing, she was more of a doer. It's why she made a great account manager for the business development managers. They sold and she was able to get the order shipped out on time for them.

She currently worked with Caesar Flickerman. He was flamboyant, and sweet, but he was demanding when it came to excellence. Looking at Peeta she was trying to formulate the words to insult him when the microphone screeched letting them know their attention was needed at the stage. 

Katniss took that moment to slip away from Peeta. She stood toward the back of the crowd where she was sure no one could bother her.

Their boss, Corilianus Snow took the stage. He began speaking about the company’s long history and Katniss wished she had her daiquiri. She hated these long drawn out speeches. On the other hand, after the big announcement she could quietly slip out. Katniss focused on Snow’s words. 

“As an effort to bring our company forward into this new era, we will be instituting new initiatives,” Snow said.  “We will be offering a prize of a profitable cash bonus at Christmastime and two extra days of paid time off.” Everyone applauded.

The money would be amazing. The days off though were the biggest prize. Katniss didn’t have many days left, and two extra days meant she could possibly spend Christmas with her family. Katniss hadn’t spent a holiday with them in so long. She missed her sister and her mother. 

Snow put his hands out to quiet the crowd before continuing, “In the spirit of competition and to bring new dynamics to the sales force we will be shaking things up internally by switching Account Managers and Business Development Managers. So if you go to that table where our lovely assistants are located you will find an envelope with your name on it and inside it will contain the name of the person you will be working with until December 23rd.”

The announcement took everyone out of their comfort zone, but the necessity to know who they were being paired with drove the staff to the tables like brides descending on Kleinfeld’s semi-annual sale.  It was chaotic and it overwhelmed Katniss; she hung back. 

There were gladdend faces and faces that reflected horror by the new partnership. Katniss looked around frightened by the prospect of having to work with someone new. She walked to the table and picked up her envelope.

When she opened it her vision went dark.

“Looks like we’re stuck with each other.”

Peeta’s voice contained the grim foreboding sentiment she felt. 

She tried to smile but she was sure she looked deranged. 

“Stop smiling, you're scaring people.”

Katniss wasn’t sure how to best show that this didn’t bother her. Of all of the people in the company she had to be stuck together with none other than Peeta-I-want-to-scratch-your-eyes-out-yet-ride-you-into-oblivion-Mellark. Life was not fair.

"Everyone please enjoy the food, the open bar, and enjoy a dance floor..." Snow said over the microphone.

The music started and Finnick and Annie who were secretly dating made their way to the dance floor. Katniss and Annie sat together during lunch at times and she had covered for Annie when she met Finnick in secret.  Several others who saw the way Snow tipped his glass toward Finnick went to the dance floor too. It was all a game to show Snow they were not affected by the changes. The music was upbeat and definitely not Katniss’ style.

“Come on, dance with me.”

“What?” She hissed.

“We need to show them we’re a team.”

“NO,” Katniss didn’t want to dance with him. She didn’t like to be touched.

“Snow is watching us, and we need to make a good impression. I have a feeling this is going to be more than just about numbers,” he whispered.

Katniss took a look at Corilanius Snow, who stood off to the side in his white suit inspecting everyone. The one thing Katniss knew for sure about Snow was he had keen eyes and he was able to perceive things about people just by observation. 

“Fine,” she said.

The band struck up a slow song. Peeta led her not to the center but off to the side which gave her some relief.

“I’m not a good this,” she whispered as his one hand found purchase on the small of her back and the other cradled her hand as if it was the most delicate flower.

Her heart rate increased as blood flowed south, as all at once she was surrounded by his heat and scent. He smelled warm and spicy like one of her mother's medicinal teas. She had fantasized what it would be like to be held close in his arms, and it was better than her imagination. Peeta was fit, his shirt was cut close to his physique, her underwear was going to get ruined. His arms were solid and she involuntarily pushed herself closer.

“Just follow my lead,” he said quietly.

Katniss nodded. She noticed the slight flecks of gold in his blue eyes. Katniss committed them to memory as he moved. Their bodies fit together perfectly and she was thankful for his graceful movements because she wasn’t sure of her steps. Dancing wasn’t something she participated in regularly. The last time she committed herself to a slow dance was back in middle school, and it ended up with her partner having a broken toe. 

“You need to relax your shoulders, you're too stiff,” he said.

His words ruined the moment for her.  “I told you I don’t do this.”

“Just close your eyes,”he said.

Katniss stared at him. 

“If we're going to work together you have to learn to trust me."

His words were a gauntlet thrust in her face. How dare he talk about trust when he didn't even know her. She shot back, "Then you're going to have to earn it...trust and respect are earned. And you don't trust me either and you certainly don't respect me."

"Look Evergreen,” Peeta said.

“FIrst off, it’s not Evergreen. It’s Ever-deen,” Katniss hissed. She knew this was a mistake. 

He raised that infernal eyebrow of his.

“If we are going to be working together you need to at least learn my name.” 

“Where’s the fun in that?”

His voice was beginning to grate on her nerves. 

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Katniss needed to get away, to compose herself before she did something stupid. Thankfully the slow music stopped. 

Peeta let go of her.  She walked away and sat down on a bench near the bathrooms. 

She heard women laughing. One of the women’s voices she recognized was Clove, the other she didn’t know, but this woman’s voice sounded breathy like a phone sex operator. 

“Did you see who Peeta Mellark was paired with?” The woman with the breathy voice asked.

They were just around the corner from where Katniss was sitting. They didn’t know she was listening.

"She’s the one person in this entire company who's not a team player.” Clove snickered.  “No one wanted to work with her and poor Caesar was stuck with her when Claudius retired. He tried to make her likeable in front of everyone, by saying she was a hard worker. All she ever does is scowl at anyone and everyone who approaches her cubicle. There’s a reason Peeta calls her Evergreen."

“Doesn’t his nickname mean Evermean?”

Both laughed.

“He’s so gorgeous. I heard from Glimmer that he’s good in bed.”

“I hate that bitch,” Clove said. 

“I also heard he’s been spending time with Cressida.”

“Really,” Clove replied. “told me she shot down Cato.”

“She’s so exotic, I think she was once a model.”

“Well at least we know he’ll never touch Everdeen, he’s too busy going after Cressida.” 

Clove's words hurt because she wasn’t a likeable person, even Haymitch said so, but she was a hard worker and she put her heart and soul into everything she did. She also knew the chances of someone like Peeta Mellark liking someone like her were slim to none. Getting up, she quickly walked away, not wanting to let them see her dilemma.

She walked right into Peeta. His arms went around her shoulder to keep her from falling.

“I was looking for you, come on,” he tugged her hand, dragging her back to the dance floor. “We need to keep up appearances.”

Katniss relented and walked with him to the dance floor. She wanted to escape and seek shelter from the ugliness of the world.  He pulled her closely and slowly they danced.

“Just one more dance and then we can go home.” 

Katniss looked away.

“I see the scowl is back.”  

Her face hardened, she didn’t want him to see the hurt in her eyes. Clove’s words were in her head, she was unlikeable. And now she was stuck with Peeta, a man she loathed but at the same time lusted after. Nothing good would come for this.

“Come on Evergreen,” Peeta whispered. 

Katniss' eyes narrowed.

“Maybe if you smiled more…”

 Saddened and angered by his actions and Clove’s words she lashed out, “Smile more, you mean like one of the empty headed bimbos that you frequent Sae’s with?”

“Have you been following me?”

“What, no?”

“Do you have a crush on me? Is that why you’re stalking me?” he taunted.

Katniss spotted Glimmer making moon eyes at him. “No, but your little friend over there would love a round two of Peeta’s greatest hits,” she hissed. She then spotted Cressida standing by Finnick and Annie. “Oh look, another one of your little fanclub.” 

He looked amused when he spun them around so that he could see who she meant. He chuckled, “You’re jealous.”

“You’re an idiot to think every woman wants to drop their drawers because you cast a look at them.”

“You’re pretty when your eyes flash, they look like daggers.”    

Frustrated she looked at him and said, "You disgust me." And she stomped her foot down on his before marching  away.

Even as she left she felt bad for striking his foot. He could go to HR because of that and she could be fired. 

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #everlarkbirthdaydrabbles #everlarkbirthdaygifts #fan fic #by mega-aulover

[criticizing-blogger]

Fudge

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warning: cursing, gore

Word count: 3423

In a small, snowy town of Minnesota, a black Chevy impala drives into a motel parking lot and settles into an empty spot up front. Two men, brothers, stepped out. The driver was a shorter man with a crew cut style;  his hair a straight, dark blond, matching his smooth forehead to his strong cheekbones and chiseled jawline. His eyes were hues of a forest, an earthy green that revives grass from the harsh winter. His stature is short, a brown shirt covered with a black and red flannel and that covered by a brown, leather jacket as his pants were blue going over his brown boots.

The passenger was tall, taller than his brother. His hair was shaggy brown and long, shoulder length to be exact but brought wonders to his features. The man’s eyes were the softest of brown, infused with a deep green as if he held a forest inside them. He wore a blue and white flannel with a grey, denim jacket. Pants were a light blue and like the other man, they, too, covered his dark brown boots.

The two looked at each other before walking into the motel. The bell on the entrance door jingled signaling the employees that customers were walking in. A plump, ederly woman who stood behind the check-in counter smiled and greeted them. “Welcome. Bed for one?”

“N-no...we’re not….we’re not together.” The taller man of the two stuttered.

“It’s okay sweetie. No need to be ashamed. We don’t judge here.” .

“Yeah, no need to be ashamed, honey.” The short man spoke as he spanked the taller man, grinning in amusement.

He gave his brother a look of annoyance. She gave them 2 sets of keys and he grabbed one before walking off.

“He's something, isn't he?” He winked and walked away with his key. 

The brothers walk out of the building and towards their shared room. Walking in, the walls are a dark, plain green with brown wood trims and the flooring white carpet. By the door to the room was a mahogany desk with a small, black desk lamp on top, a painting of a forest hung above. A dresser, the same color as the desk, stood against the wall with a small green dining table and matching chairs beside it. Across the table on the other side of the room were two separate beds with an end table in between and a large lamp on top. On the far side of the room across the entryway stood a door to the small bathroom. 

The bathroom, on the other hand, consists of a small, white sink on a grained counter top, the sink cabinet matching the dresser. A white toilet sat on the black and white tile floor, towels neatly folded on a silver rack above.  And next to the toilet was an off colored white bathtub with a few unknowable light brown stains on the sides; white tiles stuck to the walls and a silver showerhead attached above.  The bathroom walls are beige.

Dean slams the door shut and drops his bag onto the bed closest to the entry. He rummages through the bag grabbing out a black and white suit and a gun. Sam does the same before walking into the bathroom to change as his brother changes in the main room.

 “Witnesses first?” Sam shouts.

“You can question witnesses,” Dean spoke, fully decked out in his suit as Sam was when he walked out of the bathroom. “I’ll check out the crime scene.” 

Both men tuck their guns into the back of their pants and the fake FBI badges in their front suit jacket pockets. The same routine they do in almost every case. With their feet covered by white socks with black dress shoes, guns and badges ready, they headed out the door and to the first crime scene.

The small parking lot of the only hardware store in town, had attracted plenty of locals who stood behind yellow tape and two police officers at each end keeping them in line. Police cars and ambulances swarmed the outside, officers questioning witnesses all the while the EMTs checked for injuries. Despite the lot being small, Sam and Dean were able to maneuver around everyone. They found the sheriff talking to the owner of the store. 

“Excuse us, sheriff.” Dean spoke causing the man to look up from his phone.

“Can I help you gentlemen?” he asked, putting his device away.

They pulled out their badges from their front pockets flipping them open. “I’m Agent Page and my partner here is Agent Young. Can we ask what happened here?”

The sheriff squints his eyes at the fake I.D.s and sighs. “According to crazy Doreen-” pointing a finger at an elderly lady with an annoyed officer watching her- “there were small men walking out of the store wearing bloody clothes and holding tools stolen from inside.”

“Mind if I check it out?” Dean asked. The sheriff gestured towards the store.

Sam stayed to talk to the man while Dean went inside to check out the scene. The first thing he noticed was splatters of blood over the walls and counter where the checkout counter is. He carefully leaned over the counter so as to not get blood on his suit or mess up evidence, his eyes roamed over the area to see a man dead, multiple stab wounds to the chest. He leaned back away from the counter to look over it. Smack dead in the middle of the blood splatter was a tiny handprint; as small as a child almost. Dean took out his cell and shot a picture and sent it to Sam.

Turning away he looked down at the floor for any further evidence. The blood hadn’t gone too far as most of it laid where the man is. Less clean up he supposed even though he knew it wasn’t the time to make jokes but does it anyways. Dean kept walking throughout the store. Nothing could be spotted on the floor. Even the shelves didn’t show signs of anything supernatural. They just looked ransacked. 

But something shiny caught the man’s attention from the corner of his eye. A bell. A small, gold bell. He walks towards then bends down to pick the object up. As it sat between his thumb and index finger, he slowly inspected the object. What the hell, he thought. Unfortunately he couldn't think further as his ears picked up the sound of footsteps coming up from behind. Dean quickly stood and turned only to let out a sigh of relief. It was just his brother.

“What did you find?” Sam asked, noticing Dean a little tense.

Dean opened his palm and showed him the bell. Sam’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He picked it up to inspect it. As it is just a bell, nothing more. He pockets it and starts to tell Dean what the elderly lady had said. “According to Doreen, when she was walking past the store, she saw little men walking out with sets of tools covered in blood, the same for their clothes. Apparently they were wearing red and green striped pointed hats that contained bells on top, the shirt and pants matched and the shoes were pointed upwards on the end of them, also with bells on top.”

Dean looked at him like he didn’t believe any of the words that just came out of his mouth. And he doesn’t believe Sam. “So dwarves? You’re saying dwarves. Like Santa’s little elves.”

“I-uh, I mean, I guess,” he shrugs as he rubs the back of his neck realizing the elderly woman might actually be crazy just as the sheriff said.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Does any other witness say anything actually useful?”

Sam shook his head. 

“So no one else saw elves? Not even Rudolph?” Dean sarcastically spoke, making it Sam’s turn to roll his eyes. “Come on, let's go.”

Dean sat in his car parked in front of a small house with the window rolled down talking, no, flirting to a woman while Sam sat inside a house talking to the family of the dead employee from the hardware store. The woman, Dean learned whose name is (y/n), was trying her hardest not to laugh at his failed attempt of flirting with her. Which, he was epically failing and miserably. 

“Okay dude. Look, you’re cute and all but you are literally the walking cliche of James Dean. I’m not interested.” she spoke before walking off just as Sam was coming out of the house having heard everything and chuckling. 

“That was awesome.” he states getting into the impala.

“Oh shut up,” spoke  Dean, annoyed, as he started the car and drove off. “What did they say?”

“According to the mother, nobody told her and her husband that their son is dead. The sheriff said that the guy, whose name was Greg, died sometime around six this morning. And despite it being several hours later, they never got a call.”

“Anything useful?”

“She said that Greg had been seeing little men for about three days and shrugged it off as drinking too much. It seriously sounds like elves.”

“Yeah, no. There is no such thing as elves.” Dean spoke, obviously still not believing Sam.

“Do you remember the case with the girl that was in a coma and her dad was reading her fairy tales?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, so?”

“What if this is something similar except the whole disney sugar coating? Like how the mice were turning into servants and how Cinderella was being abused by her stepmother except this time it's elves.” Sam explains.

“Unless they’re dwarves from Lord of the Rings, I’m not buying it.”

.    .    .    .

Seven in the morning rolled around when a bedside alarm goes off. A hand reaches out and slams the top of it shutting it off. Yawning, (y/n) pulls back the covers and swings her legs over the side of the bed and stretches. She gets up and walks out of the bedroom and into the bathroom to do her business. When finished, she walked back into her room changing into some black leggings with a red sweater and white socks. After changing she walked downstairs putting on her black boots lined with white fur and a dark red double lapel jacket. She grabbed her purse and keys and headed out the door.

The weather outside was freezing causing her to slightly shiver. The ground is covered with pure white snow. Her boots leave small prints in the snow from the front door to her vehicle. She quickly gets into her car and lets it run for a few minutes before turning the heat on and leaving. She was used to the cold weather as she has lived in Minnesota for most of her life so the snow didn’t bother her.

The first place she headed for was the small cafe in town where she had breakfast almost every morning. The owner, Mrs. Smith has lived here for all her life and the cafe was passed down generation to generation. (Y/n) has known her since she moved here with her parents when she was younger. Mrs. Smith used to babysit her when her parents had to work. They were close and still are to this very day. The cafe has changed interior multiple times over the years as to keep up with modern times. But the outside has never changed. 

By the time (y/n) has arrived and walked into the building, her usual breakfast consists of fried egg, bacon and cheese on a toasted bagel, a bowl of maple and brown sugar oatmeal with sliced bananas and black coffee, in her spot she claims as hers in the far corner of the building in the booth. It was her favorite spot as she could watch customers for inspiration for her writings.

While she ate and watched people come and go, two men in black suits came in, taking a seat a couple booths away from her. One of them, the same one she talked to, well, technically watched him fail at flirting with her yesterday, caught her eye. He puts on a charming smile fixing his jacket while he says something to the other guy, who seemed amused to see him fail again, and made his way over to the woman. 

He sits across from her. “Morning.”

“Morning, Agent.” she smiles, leaning back into her seat, waiting to watch him fail for the second time.

“I think there’s something wrong with my eyes. I just can’t seem to take them off of you.” 

She couldn’t help but snort while she took a sip of her hot coffee.

“Boy, that coffee looks hot. Just like,” Dean started before sheepishly saying, “hi.”

That caused her to raise her eyebrows. “Okay, now that was kind of adorable.”

Dean perked up. “So, did it work?”

She stood up, her breakfast finished. “Nope.” And with that, she walked out of the cafe with an amusing grin on her face. Dean’s mouth was open with shock. He’s never been rejected by a woman in years. Especially twice. He lets out a groan before closing his mouth and sitting at the same table Sam currently sat at. Sam was grinning letting out chuckles at his older brother’s failure.

“Oh shut up.” Dean told him as he grabbed a menu covering his red face of embarrassment while he looked for food. “So, what did you find from research last night?”

Sam who already knew what he wanted to eat pulled out his laptop from his computer bag and placed it in front of him. “According to Wikipedia, in Germanic mythology, a dwarf is a human-shaped, usually bearde, entity that dwells in mountains and in the earth and is variously associated with wisdom, smithing, mining, and crafting. But in this case, it's around Christmas time so instead of it being dwarves, we could be dealing with elves.”

Dean deadpanned and looked at the man across from him. “Please for the love of Chuck, you’re joking.”

Sam shook his head.

“I thought elves were supposed to be nice. Not all murdery.”

Sam shrugs. “I think at this point from all the shit we thought wasn’t possible, this goes along with it.”

“But why would elves start killing people and taking hammers and shovels and whatever else?” Dean spoke confused as hell. 

The only thing Sam could come up with is, well, he couldn’t come up with anything as they never went through something even remotely close to this. They didn’t have much to go on since they only talked to very few people and saw one crime scene. He already knew this odd case was gonna take more than a few days unlike most of the ones they have been on. 

“Sam sighed. “I don’t know. We need to look at the other scenes and see what happened there. Like the one lumber yard.” 

Before Dean could say anything, a waitress came up and asked them if they were ready to eat. Dean ordered a large, meaty breakfast, something likely to give you a heart attack if you ate enough of it while Sam got something small and healthy so he could keep his physique up. She wrote it all down, eyes widening when Dean spoke what he wanted and giving Sam a flirty smile as she took the meus from his hand, letting their fingers touch before letting them know she’ll be back with coffee and walks away with an extra sway of her hips. Dean watched her backside as she walked away till he couldn’t no more. He looked at his brother eyebrows raising up and down and smirking at him. “She’s hot.”

He just ignored Dean’s behavior as he was used to it. 

“Dude! You should go for her.” Dean states.

“No thanks.”

“Oh come on, you need to get laid. That’s probably why you’re so tense all the time.”

Sam looked at his brother with annoyance and rolled his eyes. “Last I checked, saving lives is more important than getting some.”

“If you won’t have her, I will,” Dean grins. “What happened at the lumber yard?”

Sam pulled up the local newspaper, called Morning News written on top in huge black letters, on his laptop. Everything that had happened over the last several days here covered a good part of the first page. On the left column showed rebuilding the bridge that connects the two surrounding towns as it was falling apart and unsafe to drive on. It didn’t give an estimate of how much it would cost to demolish it, which Sam knew was gonna be expensive, but to build another was gonna be much, much more. 

On the right column was a ten-year-old boy being awarded for selling the most chocolate in time for the holidays. He won a two hundred and fifty dollar gift card and got to leave school to go to any restaurant for lunch. He remembers middle school used to do that but he was never able to because of his father, John Winchester. He would’ve liked to do normal activities growing up, and still does, but with the line of work they do, he can only do so many normal things every other human gets to do. Otherwise, nothing of importance.

And on the bottom of the page showed the weather for the next seven, cold and snowy. No sun or warmth which of course is normal with it being winter. Before Sam could get off topic in his thoughts, he read the column of the murders until it told him to turn to page nine. The whole entire page, he notices, was covered about the murders of two men but three crime scenes. Sam didn’t bother reading the few paragraphs of the scene at the hardware store. Next, it showed what may have happened at the lumber yard which apparently happened first before the hardware store as the man who chopped wood there was found with an axe in the back of his head.

“So it says here a man, Finn Huckle, was found at three am two days hunched over the tree stump. His legs hacked and an axe stuck in the back of his head as his body laid over the tree stump he was using to shop wood. It looked like a regular murder accoring to the police until they saw Finn holding a pointy hat in his hand. It looked like he tried fighting back because he had skin under his nails. But when the lab tested it, the skin didn’t belong to anybody. Like whoever, or whatever, did this, doesn’t exist. However, at the last scene, at a children's park, in the sand box was a large, gaping hole with what they know is snow, surrounding the area.”

Dean took everything his brother said in. This was definitely something they haven’t dealt with, even heard of. But Sam says he thinks its elves seem to be making more sense, oddly to him, the more they learn what's happening in town. But why elves? Weren’t they supposed to be nice and make presents for good boys and girls? This case seems to be getting odder and odder. 

“Say it is elves, did they lose their mojo or something? Maybe they ran out of alcohol. I’d be all grumpy if I ran out of alcohol and had to deal with shit ton of kids.” Dean spoke gruffly.

Sam suddenly perked up, an idea as to why, if it is elves, acting dangerous. “What if they were hit with some potion making them angry?”

Dean furrowed his eyebrows as he thought. Okay, maybe it is Santa’s little helpers, or logically, it's not. This is definitely something new. Before they can confirm what they think, they would need to see the hole at the park. His thoughts were interrupted with the pretty waitress bringing their food. She gave Sam his first, again, giving him a flirty smile then gave the other man his food, looking at him. Dean winked at her as he gave her his world famous smile he uses on all the ladies causing her to scoff and roll her eyes before walking off. Sam laughed at Dean’s flabbergasted look on his face. “Rejected by two women in one day. Got to be a new record.”

Dean rolled his eyes and flipped Sam off before digging into his food, annoyed.

___________________________________________________

DEAN X READER TAGS:

@akshi8278

#oneshot #dean winchester #supernatural #dean #imagine #supernatural one shot #dean x reader #supernatural imagine #dean winchester x reader #supernatural fluff

[yandere-society]

Day 11 | Santa Tell Me

Synopsis: You’ve always been strangely scared of Santa as a child. The thought of a stranger in heavy boots breaking into your home and rummaging through your stuff has always terrified you. And you felt that terror right now, in this instant, as you laid there with two men in bright green suits hovering over your pretend-sleeping form.

The 12 Days of Black Christmas Event Masterlist

Pairing: Vmin x Female Reader

Admin: @roses-ruby​​

Trigger warnings: Yandere themes, bad crack, attempted kidnapping, stalking, stupid jokes, joke about religion, swearing, bad mouthing Santa 

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You really hated Christmas.

You hated everything that had to do with Christmas. All the sugary deserts, the unhealthy binging, the fake family bonding and seasonal depression longing. The freezing weather that froze your toes and pipes, the blinding red and greens, otherwise known as holiday delights. The overzealous consumerism around every corner, the empty materialism that gave everyone boners. The deforestation and self-righteousness, the ugly sweaters and proud religious mess. You hated Christmas and its warping spider’s net and all the very, merry, happy, holy, holly, jolly shit that went along with it.  

It wasn’t like you ever had a good Christmas to change your mind. When you were six, every girl at school had the brand-new light up Princess Dolly sneakers for Christmas but thanks to your skinflint of a dad, you got the direct knock off; Princess Polly sneakers. Polly with a PUH. They didn’t even fucking light up. To this day you get nightmares from the bullying. At 15, you got typhoid fever before the big ski vacation and while everyone else got to go have the time of their life, you were stuck rotting at home with your weird cousin Sigil who collected the dead skins from snake sheds. And just last year, at an unbearably boring office party, your ex best friend and crush made out under the mistletoe for 15. Whole. Minutes. Last you heard of them, they were engaged.

Let’s not even start about your irrational fear of Santa Claus. Every bad Christmas could be traced back to him. You cried the first time you heard your dad describe the bearded old man. Your reaction confused the hell out of him but to you, he was the strange one. What kind of parent allows an overgrown, capitalist bear man who dresses in red and brainwashes elf and reindeer to come into their home using the chimney and spy on their kids throughout the whole year? Was he a sadist? When you were younger, you would wet the bed just thinking of him stomping around your house in the dark. Safe to say, you never left him any cookies. Now, you’re just glad you grew out of the phase of believing in such a horrid creature like Santa Claus. Finally, you could sleep happy knowing that no one would sneak into your house in the middle of the night.

So, while we’re on that topic…who exactly were the two men whispering in the dark inside your room if it’s definitely not Santa?

“We have to quickly get back before he notices we’re missing. QUICKLY, Taehyung.”

“I know, I know. Let me just untangle this rope, Jimin.”

Who the fuck were Taeyoong and Jimmy and what the fuck were they doing in your house? That’s what you were thinking as you laid on your bed pretending to be asleep, absolutely still in the complete dark. Of course, you had a break in on the night of Christmas because why the fuck not. What made you think this one year, your Christmas day would turn out okay?

You were stuck even further because you lost the window of opportunity to wake up and startle the intruders and perhaps scream for help because since the moment they snuck in (3 minutes ago) you did nothing but lay there listening to their banter like the idiot you are. Maybe you could pretend all their ‘noise’ woke you up, but then again you weren’t too fond of your acting skills.

But honestly, who were they? What did they want? Why did they keep mentioning returning before this ‘he’ found out they were gone?

As you were pondering your crisis, someone blew straight into your ear. You shot up from the bed with a scream and immediately turned on the lamp beside you. Two men in strange green tunics and stockings, pointy ears, and tall hats with a bell stare back at you with an equally horrified expression.

They were dressed up as…elves?

“See, I told you she was awake.” The one on your right, resembling a small animal, possibly the bastard who blew in your ear, chirps.

“Wow, you really do have night vision, Jiminie.” The taller one behind the edge of your bed, the one holding a rope says, while staring at you in a daze.

“Who the fuck are you both? How did you get in? What do you want?” You shout, bringing your comforter to your chest.

All they do is stare at you with lovesick eyes to which you scowl. Hold on, why were your potential murderers so hot?

“_-___,” The one on the right calls you carefully. He had round and soft features with a sharp jaw. Slender eyes and bright pink hair matching his rosy cheeks on his otherwise cute pale face. “It’s an honor to finally meet you…my name is J-Jimin.”

“I’m Taehyung.” You turn to the man with the rope. His features were extremely well proportioned and downright lethal. A devilishly handsome face, beautiful golden skin and dark brown mopy hair. He appeared and sounded like a mature sugar daddy but stared at you like a 12-year-old pervert.

You sat silent after the two men’s greetings. What were you supposed to say after intruders introduced themselves? Nice to meet you? And how did they know your name?

“…O-Okay…Jimin, Taehyung…why are you in my house.”

“We’re here to kidnap you.” Jimin smiles, his eyes turning into crescents.

“E…Excuse me?”

“Yeah! We’re here because we love you and we want you for ourselves, so we have to take you from your home.” Taehyung says, stretching the rope in his hands.

“WHAT?” You couldn’t believe your ears. Did you perhaps start hallucinating after your edible once again? Because that would explain this crazy ass dream you were having right now. Since when did you have an elf kink though?

“So you see,” Jimin begins walking to stand beside Taehyung so now they were both in front of you, “We’re Santa’s elves. We were the ones assigned to watch over you, see if you were naughty or nice.”

“Pfft, you’re very naughty~” Taehyung giggles, blushing like crazy. You raise an eyebrow at him.

“And over the years,” Jimin continues, “We came to fall in love with you to the point of obsession. So now we want to kidnap you and take you to the north pole where we three will live in a polyamorous relationship and only me and Taehyung will get to be with you.”

“We’ll fuck every day.” Taehyung chimes in proudly, earning a smack to the back of his head from Jimin who mutters ‘not yet.’

“Ahahaha, what Taehyung meant was…of course any sexual relationship would be consensual. No means no, after all.” Jimin winks awkwardly

You just sat there, mouth wide open as your brain refused to process all the information that was just presented to you. So not only were your intruders dressed up as elves, but they were also clinically insane.

“I’m calling the cops.”

“W-wait! We can prove it to you!” Jimin jumps, rushing back to your side. “When you were 10, you really wanted a MayaMaya doll collection set didn’t you? You didn’t tell your dad about it because you thought he would get you the knock off; the Papaya doll collection. It was the first and only time you were okay with Santa coming into your house, so you didn’t even set the bear trap in the fireplace like you did every year.”

He was right. What the fuck.

“W…how did you know that?”

“We saw you.” Jimin says, eyes soft and smile tender, “You were wishing so earnestly that Christmas Eve, it almost made me cry.”

“W…wait so…Santa is real?”

“Of course.” They sang in unison

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, time out.” You huff, “He’s been real this whole time, yet he’s never gotten me what I wanted for Christmas?”

“Oh, my love.” Taehyung strides up and sits on your side of the bed, taking your hand in his. “It was out of our hands…we tried to get you on the nice list, but he could sense your bad vibes…also I’m pretty sure he was salty you never left him cookies. He is sort of petty.”

“So you’re telling me that hippy bitch Claire really did deserved that large purple dollhouse more than me?”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, she hasn’t been on the nice list for a long time now…all she asks for are sex toys.” Taehyung stares off into the distance.

“How long have ya’ll been watching me?”

“We are supposed to stop once a kid doesn’t believe in Santa anymore...but we were just always rooting for you. Before we knew it, we were watching you way into adulthood...and then slowly we started falling in love with you.” Jimin blushes

“...Have ya’ll seen me-”

“Naked? No...but we really want to.” Taehyung bites his bottom lip.

“I can’t believe this…” You groan, placing a palm over your forehead.

“Hey now, Jesus didn’t die today for you to be full of despair.” The taller elf rubs your hand with his thumb

“No, you idiot. He was born today…I think.” Jimin tsks

“Oh…well the point still stands. Don’t be sad my love. We never want you to have a bad Christmas again.”

“Anyway, we should hurry before Santa notices we abandoned him. That ass-kisser Jin also tagged along so we don’t have to worry too much about our portion of the presents since he would love to show off how competent he is to Santa all by himself. We can just say we ran a bit late because some kid almost woke up.” Jimin tells Taehyung to which he nods, getting his rope ready.

Oh right, this was a kidnapping. You forgot.

“___, just stay perfectly still and we’ll easily load you into the bottom of Santa’s gift sack. That thing is huge, no one will notice but us.”

“Guys, wait.” You say to which they freeze. “Let me think about this.”

They look at you with pleading puppy dog eyes and you start to contemplate it. Should you go with the two elves that barged into your house and tried to kidnap you and possibly turn you into a sex slave?

…

What were the pros and cons?

If you go to the North Pole, you’d basically be stuck with everything you hate about Christmas all year round. But could it be that bad seeing how smoking these two elves were? They could easily keep you warm. Were all elves this hot? Wait…could Santa possibly be hot? Your mouth watered thinking about it. Is this an enemies to lovers AU after all?

Whatever it was, it was interesting and more importantly you had a lot of unfinished business with the man in red. You could see it now, forming a mutiny with all the elves. Killing Claus and taking over his empire. Then it would be you who rules Christmas and boy, do you have a few changes you wanted to make like the beginning of this story states. Finally, all your wishes will come true. This time you WILL get the light up Princess Dolly sneakers and MayaMaya doll collection set.

And so, with a sinister plot forming in your head, you smile at the two eager elves in front of you.

“Alright boys, let’s go.”

Maybe this Christmas won’t be so bad after all.

#bts #park jimin #kim taehyung #yandere bts #yandere jimin #bts crack #yandere taehyung

[cometkins]

crushcrushcrush

Pairing: Theo/Shouri (DnD OCs aka gayass elves) Rating: G (General) Words: 2615 Tags: Angst, comfort, pining, first love, loving through depression (these two have to do that a lot for each other oops), some mentions of bullying/abuse? Summary: Past canon. Shouri sees Theo the first time, and he’s immediately enraptured; but he doesn’t feel worthy. Shouri pines from afar, afraid he’s too unlikable for Theo to ever look at him. Then one day, Theo does see him.

Shouri doesn’t know who this boy is when he sees him, and this boy certainly doesn’t know who he is. Not in a million years. Shouri sees him at the river, a few yards down from him, cleaning pots and pans.

Shouri is taken by him. His bronze colored skin, peppered with freckles throughout; his dark jet hair, which looks so soft to the touch; his pale eyes, the color of sweetgrass. He’s so focused on the task at hand, and he doesn’t see Shouri at all. Shouri decides he’s fine with this; he can feel the heat in his cheeks, can feel his heart pounding a mile a minute. This handsome boy, his age, maybe a fraction older, would never look at him. Not his ugly, round face, not his messy, curly hair, not his awkwardly tall stature. No, this boy has sharp features, his hair is fluffy and smooth, and he is so small… Shouri can tell even from his distance. He wants to hug this boy so badly. He is the pinnacle of beauty and Shouri wishes he could even speak to him.

As if hearing his creepy thoughts from afar, Shouri sees the other elf boy pick up his pots and pans and return back to the encampment. Shouri feels himself deflate, and his shoulders sag. Maybe he'd see this handsome boy another time… Shouri resumes his own chores, staring with longing at the spot where the other boy had been.

---

As it turns out, Shouri sees this boy frequently. He seems very popular, and he's always surrounded by people. Shouri still watches from afar, feeling his heart melt every time this boy smiles, every time he laughs. It's like music when he laughs.

Shouri learns the boy’s name is Theo when he hears a group of girls call for him. More of Theo’s friends… one of them hanging off his arm.

Shouri feels his heart break, feels it turn to ice.

Of course this beautiful boy would never like him; he probably wasn't even interested in guys, much less guys as ugly as he was.

He feels hard smacks on his back and the back if his head as a group of rowdy boys passes him by (“Get fucked Shour-Shour!”), greeting Theo and the girls from before. Shouri’s eyes water from the sting of being hit, and he gently soothes the growing welts.

At least this time they didn't tug on his ears.

Shouri goes back to his chores, holding back tears. Theo would never notice him, let alone love him. It would never happen.

---

Shouri has had a horrific crush on Theo for four seasons now; a full year. Not once has he been seen by that beautiful boy. Shouri still feels like that's for the best. Theo deserves better than him. Though he does sometimes wonder; is Theo being complicit in his treatment? Does Theo know who he is, and just simply watches from the sidelines? Shouri feels his gut twist at the thought.

The abuse from the children in the clan has grown worse over the course of the year. An ugly, creepy, fatherless child, who deserves nothing. It moved beyond smacking him in the head or pulling his ears; now they beat him. Not anywhere his mother or the other elders could see; they also delighted in tossing him into the river after the fact.

Shouri had learned by now that if he stays far away from camp during most of the day, he can prevent this. He would run away out into the woods as soon as his mother freed him from daily chores, and it was here he was given his respite. Peace, quiet… and a view of his crush.

Theo is often in the woods, sometimes with a man who he assumes is his father, sometimes by himself. Shouri sees him practicing his aim with a bow. Sometimes he goes off to hunt, and sometimes if Shouri feels daring, he follows behind him, admiring him. He has no idea for how long Theo has been practicing, but Shouri can already see that he’s surely one of the best marksmen in the entire clan. His form is perfect, his aim is true, and his focus is remarkable. Shouri vaguely wishes he was one of Theo’s marks, if only so Theo would look at him with such a gaze.

Shouri starts practicing in secret as well, a few months before their formal lessons are meant to begin. He’s not very good, but he has to try. He has to impress Theo, he has to be seen.

He wants Theo to love him. He wants to be loved.

---

Shouri is overwhelmed with anxiety on the day their formal lessons begin. He can see Theo amongst the group of students, perhaps thirty of them in total. Shouri doesn’t dare to sit next to him; he feels unworthy. Instead, he sits across from him, admiring him. His heart beats rapidly every time he looks at Theo, and his face burns hot. He can barely pay attention to the lesson when it starts, looking back at his crush every so often.

One of these times, Theo catches him looking back. Their eyes meet, and Theo holds Shouri’s gaze, and he feels his heart stop. Theo’s eyes go wide for a moment, finally looking Shouri over, and Shouri feels terror take over his body.

Theo would see how ugly he is, and he would wrinkle his nose in disgust, and he would move on. That’s what it would be.

Instead, he sees Theo’s lips part, cheeks turning red, and suddenly his face splits into a huge grin. He winks at Shouri, and Shouri feels his brows knit together in confusion. He tries to be subtle as he points at himself, and Theo just nods, winking again.

Theo had seen him, had looked him over, and wanted him.

Was this real? Was Theo toying with him?

It was at this point that the elder man teaching the lesson spoke up, calling Theo up to the front angrily. He was berated for being a distraction and for not paying attention, and he was switched over the wrists ten times. Shouri felt like dying, seeing Theo take each one of those lashes, all because he’d caught his attention, distracted him. Any chance he would’ve had with Theo had to be gone now, and Shouri felt tears start to well in his eyes. He’d messed it all up.

The elder released Theo after his lashes, and Shouri still had to admire the fact that Theo hadn’t made a sound as he was hit. Theo glanced over at Shouri as he walked back to his place, staring into his eyes, and kissing the air, grinning once more.

Shouri felt his heart beating out of control again, clutching at it for dear life, lips parting in shock. This couldn’t be real; how could any of this be real?

It was another hour later when the elder finally released them for lunch, and Theo ran up to Shouri almost immediately, grinning still.

“Hey there,” he said, and Shouri could still barely process that Theo was speaking to him, “My name’s Theo, what’s yours? I think you’re very handsome, and I’d like to have lunch with you...”

‘I already know your name, you gorgeous boy,’ Shouri thinks to himself. This couldn’t be real. It had to be a ruse, had to be fake; so many of Theo’s friends mistreated him, there was no way that Theo didn’t know him.

Shouri doesn’t know why he says it, why he begins walking away.

“D-Don’t make fun of me,” he says, turning away from Theo.

“Huh?”

Shouri starts running deeper into the woods, and Theo follows, shouting after him.

“Wait! Did I say something wrong?”

Shouri finally stops, once they’re a fair distance from the rest of the group, whirling around with tears in his eyes.

“Y-You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”

Theo just looks utterly confused again, shaking his head, stepping closer to Shouri. Shouri is at least a head taller than him, and Theo has to crane his neck back to look him in the eyes at this distance. Shouri is overwhelmed at finally being this close, at being seen. It’s too much.

“Why would I make fun of you? Y-You’re… you’re the most handsome boy I’ve ever seen…”

That was most certainly a lie.

“You are making fun of me! You and everybody else- calling my hair messy and calling me a hill giant and-”

Shouri feels cool hands on his cheeks, and he’s stopped in his tracks. He finally glances down at Theo again, seeing those pale eyes staring back into his, and he feels a wave of calm wash over him. He can’t recall any other time in his life where somebody eased his anxieties with a single touch, but here he was.

“Your hair is wild, yes… but it’s like the branches of a tree, growing out and reaching for the sun… You’re tall like a tree too. I feel so small next to you, but in a good way… Like standing next to a thousand-year-old sequoia, just as many feet high; the kind of awe you feel from that. And your face is round and smooth, like a river rock… Or maybe even like a holly berry, with how red your cheeks are. And your eyes… Gods, your eyes… They’re like new moons.”

Theo’s hands move down his face, fingers feeling along the smooth planes. Shouri closes his eyes, brows knitting together, and he’s trying so hard to hold back tears. Nobody had ever called him handsome before, and certainly nobody had compared him to such beautiful things.

“So, I’ll ask again,” Theo whispers, “You’re very handsome… Would you like to have lunch with me?”

Shouri chokes on a sob and nods, and he feels Theo kiss his cheek. His eyes shoot open at that, and he gasps, looking down at Theo again. This had to be a dream; there was no way this was real.

Even if it wasn’t real, Shouri wasn’t going to allow this to slip through his fingers.

“I would love to,” he whispered, and Theo’s face broke out into a toothy smile, cheeks turning pink, “A-And… my name is Shouri.”

Theo nods, kissing his cheek again, and Shouri feels like his heart is going to burst.

“Shouri… Also a very handsome name.”

Shouri feels more tears roll down his cheeks, and Theo wipes them away with his thumbs. He pulls him downwards into a sitting position, down against a large tree. Theo sits next to him, shoulders touching, and Shouri is surprised at the feeling. Theo’s skin feels cool to the touch, and Shouri immediately wants more of it.

Theo has a sandwich in his lunch pack, and Shouri has similar, though his mother had also included a bit of carrot cake as well. Theo glanced down at his cake, then at him.

“Could I try a bite of that? I love carrot cake…”

Without even thinking, Shouri breaks off a piece, holding it to Theo’s lips. Theo’s face turns red this time, and Shouri panics for a moment at realizing what he’d done. Even still, Theo takes the bite, humming in delight as he chews. Shouri feels his gut twist at the sound.

“That’s really good… Thank you!”

They continue to eat in companionable silence for a while, leaning against each other. Eventually, Shouri feels some of his courage return to him. He moves his hand ever so closer to Theo’s free one, and eventually he laces their fingers together. Theo turns to look at him, shock crossing his face this time. He looks utterly bashful, glancing away, but Shouri feels him grip his hand tighter.

“You’re really warm…” Theo whispers.

Shouri feels even more daring, giving Theo a peck on the cheek, then pulling him in close to hug. He presses his face into Theo’s hair, feeling how soft it is against his cheek, finally. He inhales deeply, catching Theo’s scent, feeling another wave of calm wash over him.

He can feel Theo’s heart pounding against his arm, and Shouri can’t help but grin.

“Can I confess something?”

Theo doesn’t speak, but he does nod.

“I… I’ve been admiring you from afar for over a year now. I’ve had such a terrible crush… I never thought you’d see me. But I’m… I’m so happy right now.”

Theo lets out a quiet laugh, finally placing his hands on top of Shouri’s arms.

“I’m only sorry this is the first time I’ve seen you… I’ve never really been interested in somebody before. None of the girls, none of the other boys, but… I saw you, and I felt enraptured. I felt a pull towards you, like magic, just… instantly. Did you feel that too?”

“From the moment I first saw you, Theo… And every moment after that. Auril’enaste, I can’t believe this is happening to me.”

Theo laughed quietly, turning around in Shouri’s arms, pressing their foreheads together. Theo’s face was so close, and Shouri felt his lips part unconsciously. He never thought this would be him.

“Believe,” Theo says, kissing his forehead.

Theo laces their fingers together again, then helps Shouri to his feet. When Shouri tries to let go of his hand, Theo only holds tighter. He worries about Theo being seen with him, but Theo just keeps holding him closer and closer.

Everything feels like a dream, but it’s all real. It’s all real.

---

Shouri still on and off wonders if the world is going to crash in on him, and that this entire relationship he’s formed with Theo is a fake, that it’s one final hateful prank against him to crush him completely.

He makes Theo swear to not tell anybody about their relationship; he’s terrified that the abuse he faces will become worse. He knows how many other people admire his boyfriend.

Theo is sad, but understanding when Shouri tells him this. Theo makes up for this as best he can.

They spend a lot of time alone in the forests, in the fields, and Theo is constantly trying to show off for him.

Then the tree incident happens. Theo’s arm is broken, he falls from that awful branch, and Shouri feels sick to see him in so much pain. They have to tell his parents, and Shouri finally meets them.

Any worries he had about everything being fake are tossed aside when Theo declares his love for Shouri the second he sees his mother. Shouri is overwhelmed, and Theo says it over and over again until he’s in too much pain to speak.

When Theo wakes up again, once his arm has been reset, he’s begging Shouri to not leave him, to not think him so foolish, declaring his love once more. Shouri’s heart is swollen with love, and he can’t help but smile. He kisses every freckle of Theo’s cheeks, and then kisses him on the lips. His lips are soft and plump, and Shouri feels his heart racing. He hears Theo gasp, and Shouri kisses him again, Theo returning the gesture, pressing his lips back.

Everything was happening so fast, everything was moving in such a rush. Shouri felt like he was blindsided by everything, but he was so happy. He was so unbelievably happy.

Shouri and Theo declared their love for each other at every chance they got after that, kissing each other just as often. Theo’s friends seemed to leave Shouri alone, and many even refused to keep speaking to Theo. Theo didn’t have a care in the world, though; he had Shouri. That was all that mattered.

#theo lavellan #shouri lavellan #ocs #dnd stuff #my writes #theo says 'i want that one' and that's all it took