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#also they were literal children then...babies!!!!
lees-chaotic-brain · 2 days
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Yuji: he’s the bubbliest little baby ever. So happy and babbles the entire time he’s around you, toddling on his chunky legs and laughing when he falls on his tushy. Has no qualms sharing his toys with the others and loves following reader around.
Nobara: little pouty cutie who wants your attention solely on her. She stalks after you, presenting you with dolls and toys to play with her 🥺 gets grumpy when her friends try to join in or play with you, often crying to get your attention back on her
Megumi: again, pouty little baby. He’s often left out by the other children, opting to play with the foam blocks by himself but will force himself to play with you 🥰 wants your attention on him, but discretely. Like, rub his head a little when you give him his snack, or an extra hug when it’s nap time 🥰
I WOULD KILL FOR THE BABIES RAHHHHHH
no because this. THIS!!!!!
yuuji's just a little bundle of joy 🥺
he definitely banged his head the first time he rolled over, but instead of crying he just giggled and did it again
(you on the other hand freaked out and were worried he was going to hurt himself)
he also would be the first one to walk
(nobara a close second because she couldn't let yuuji beat her)
literally the happiest baby ever, never crying, always laughing or babbling away 🥺
nobara would just be LOUD
always screaming, trying to be the center of attention
listen, she's just a girl. you can't expect her to not try to be the center of attention  💅 😂
there is no such thing as "too far" if she feels like you're paying too much attention to yuuji or megumi
screaming, putting her siblings up for sale, doing something she's not supposed to do, there's nothing she won't try to get your attention
she might be a handful, but heart she's just a sweet kid who wants your love
stop, and megumi??
he's def the quietest of the three (his favorite thing is nap time with you and his divine dogs 🥺)
he's just a little snugglebug
when you heard he didn't like hanging out with the kids at daycare and often played by himself you worried yourself sick that your sweet megumi was too shy
however after a conversation with him you realized that he just didn't like other people
but don't worry
he made sure to reassure you that you were different, and that he really liked spending time with you 🥺
he doesn't like anyone else, but he loves you 🥰
anyways, this was SO CUTE. i'm probably going to be making the first years as babies into an au, so let me know if you want to be added to the au taglist!!!
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apostleofgreed · 2 days
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It's here, the finale - my friends thoughts throughout Nona the Ninth (it's a long one)
Right which one of these idiots is stuck in Nona's body
Signs point to both
I think more likely Harrow and shes just removed the massive stick up her ass
Most other signs thus far do point to Gideon though- lack of aforementioned stick, finds herself attractive, loves ass jokes, wants to pet dogs (Harrow seems like a don't work with animals or children type)
Also these other kids have names like they're gonna be running in the fucking grand national
Honestly what the fuck is going on with child conception in this series???
Someone has five dads, God was asking if Harrow and Ianthe were being 'safe' sexually and I'm just confused
Okay so I've only listened to half an hour today but if Crown isn't coronabeth I will eat my own arm
My theory is that neither of them are in Harrow's body and that she's being possessed by The Body
Maybe I should follow in Harrow's footsteps and ask you to fucking lobotomize me
No beta we die like Babs
"what do you think is sexy?" "Eating breakfast" Me too, Camilla, me too
Maybe someone needs to lobotomize Judith, has anyone thought of that?
Thing is I feel like I'm supposed to think John is really bad and is the villain here but I just don't
The worst thing he's done is lie to his friends for a few thousand years
Finally, the baddest bitch in all the nine houses (it's Ianthe)
What a power move honestly first she steals Babs' soul now she steals his body, absolutely inspired
She could literally kill another 200 babies to resurrect Harrow and I'd be like what a babe 😍 at this point
I'm bored of shooting can we go back to swords and doing weird things with your body please
I just think it would be great if Harrow could hop back into her body and have a full meltdown about how to function in this world
Erm Corona darling can you please try to stop them bombing your sister in the body of one of your lifelong pals pls and thanks
Y'all better sTOp
Fucking marry, kill, reanimate I can't hahahaha
"that's not actually crown's boyfriend Nona, it's her sister but I don't think anyone could blame you for getting confused" Fair hahahahah so very true
Don't know how they think this is gonna work seeing as though Harrow and Ianthe literally lived together for like over a year and had an interpersonal relationship but ok
Maybe it's because pash has the accent of a rudeboy from Oldham and suffer is weirdly French (on disliking We Suffer and Pash)
Palamades in Ianthe in Babs is sending me west
Abigail died too soon and really she did all the legwork in Harrow
Can't help but feel all of this drama could have been avoided if Harry had just done the job properly in the first place and just let Gideon die properly
All of this just because an 18 year old gave herself the brain scramblies
Cam has just burst into fire wtf
Can't believe Crux hasn't dropped dead tbh
I've got less than an hour left I feel like we're cutting it fine to get Harry back in her body here
Big flex to be waiting for everyone to arrive smoking a ciggie with your golden skeleton arm
Fucking friendship bracelets and a secret handshake hahahahah
Gideon needs to stop being such a bloody himbo
Who has shouted "get in line thou big slut!" Hahahahah
There we have it, the full series. Hope y'all have enjoyed this.
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menstits · 1 month
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Idk why this whole diluc vs kaeya argument is even happening like it's so dumb because there is objectively a correct opinion to have in this debate. I literally like diluc, he's genuinely one of my favorite characters in the game, and honestly that's part of why it's so fucking annoying to me when people downplay the fight or act like he was justified in attacking his visionless younger brother with pretty clear killing intent because he very much was not justified and it's not treated that way by the game itself either AND. If you approach kaeya's character in good faith the whole situation is really heart wrenching and so is his reaction to the whole crepus delusion thing but obviously none of these people ever do that because they're dumb as fuck and only take whatever is said about kaeya at face value or read him as more malevolent and ~shady~ than he actually is even though that's literally not how he's written & then when it comes to diluc they will entirely make shit up about his character that is nowhere to be seen in his actual characterization to make him nicer and more meek than he actually is . I need to stop bitching about this recreationally because I'm getting so mad I'm getting dizzy but you get the gist. It's just all around very clear when people will afford a character the benefit of the doubt when they react like an insane person to strong emotions vs when they will interpret someone's reaction to grief in the most cruel possible way literally entirely because they either consciously or subconsciously consider kaeya's grief at the loss of their father "less real" on account of him being adopted even though one fact that genshin keeps hammering into our brains at literally every chance they get is that family bonds don't depend on blood ties alone.
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yourlowkeyidiot3 · 4 months
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The virgin ""Elizabeth is a spoiled brat manipulative bitch evil mastermind"" vs the chad "Elizabeth did bad things and was manipulative but can we also stop pretending that she's this very evil mastermind"
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adelaidedrubman · 7 months
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my toxic oc/canon creator trait is only giving kids to the ships who would be objectively awful parents because it’s funny to see how they’ll fuck it up
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madigoround · 6 months
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My birthday is on Sunday but my aunt can only hang out tomorrow so we’re going to the zoo because I haven’t been before and I’m so excited among all the cool animals they have a cheetah and a dog that are best friends I’m obsessed 😍🥰
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meatheadmutt · 5 days
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why am i having to hold a gun to googles head to show me articles on the long term effects of hormonal birth control on the endocrine system in adult patients who began usage as a teenager
#barks#i just wanna know if having a hormonal iud as a teenager fucked with my shit or not#causeeeeee i switched to copper a few years ago and everything was gucci in the coochie until a bad summer hit#lo and behold i call the gyno and she puts me on nuvaring because my symptoms were a sign of hormonal imbalance#meaning i got my ass fucked up from the first iud. right?#fuck if i know i wish they didnt make it my responsibility and then not actually give a shit as to what really happens#the absolute hell you can go through both on and off of birth control is out fucking rageous#'cool my cramps arent as bad but im a raging bitch i want to rob a bank and i want to kill everyone and then myself'#can you please for more than five fucking seconds think about the actual effects these things have on us that arent 'harder to get pregnant#also never listen to anyone that tells you you cant get your tubes tied and still be able to have children down the line#they always wanna bitch and moan about it but its literally reversible just like a vasectomy. not as easy but still possible!#do we get mad at and blame the kitchen counter when a baby smacks their head against it? no. the baby is at fault#tell me why something i have no control over is the reason i have to bear the cross#instead of the dipshit baby that cause the issue in the first place being at fault?????????????????????#im going to burn this world down i swear to god i hate it more every day#the beauty is evident but the horrors persist#hi if you read all of this
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i’m gonna be real
if nobody gets this for me at my baby shower I’m buying it myself
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heloflor · 9 months
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Recently re-stumbled across the cutscenes of "Yoshi's Crafted World", this is basically my takeaway from them.
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boxwinebaddie · 3 months
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me giggling and kicking my feet whenever i see the "(THIS IS A VERY LONG ASK)" message right before the read more 😍
AAAAAAAA!! PLEASE!!! literally I!!! was giggling and kickin my feet when I!!! got This ask message!!!! you are so sugar sweet, my darling!
( also, i really needed this today; the other guy who does my job is out today [ smh ] so it's only 9am where i am but i'm on my Second Cup of coffee because i have to cover a BAJILLION classes today...cryin )
no, this is seriously made me soooooo happy!!! bc i get worried that the messages are too overwhelming & i'm throwing way too much at you at once, so its very validating to know you like them so much!!! c:
i literally LOVE LOVE LOVE writing them -- i'm sure u can feel the passion which tbh is more like criminal insanity oof -- i think they're so fun and its nice to share something i love with people i love!!!
AKA all of you :)))) <3333
rlly the reason they're so long is bc i have mental problems, ofc, we already kno this, but also i feel like its important that, if you guys take the time to ask me stuff, that you get all the information i can give ya!
because you deserve it and i don't want you to feel confused ever. xx
( my storylore gets rlly complex/weird...so it can def be Perplexin rip )
i actually only like answering questions when i feel Strongly abt the answers ( which is why i held off on answering all the tkak/tsot questions until right now which...thank god bc theyre Girls now, lol!!! )
i also put a lot of love and my heart into those answers, honestly, its kind of a vulnerable thing to put urself out there like that: so it makes me feel really seen and treasured when you guys send me excited anons about receiving all my insane feelings and thots abt my fics!
which needless to say my angel, and all my angels, thank you for being fans of my fictions, interested in my crazy lore, waiting for my stuff and cherishing my cracked out ask answers. everything i do, i do for you my loves! and i am glad that my answers aren't Too Much.
-uncle nina, who again, really did need this today <3
#this made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside#thank you baby#i am literally dying today the children of the corn are being so loud like brother i have a MIGRAINE CHILL OUT#anyays love them but oh my god i was going to bash my head in with a rock when i got this lmao#IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE LONG MESSAGES I LITERALLY GOT NERVOUS THAT THEY WERE TOO INTENSE#but like if u ask me specific qs i want to make sure u get detailed and specific answers bc i want u to have Content!!!#idk u deserve everything i can give u and i really like detail so im glad u guys also really like detail!!! i am Passionate okay#esp now that im writing a lot less my ask memes are my way of giving yall little stories/info abt my fics even when im not upHating#but yeah i like to be thorough and im glad you like that bc its hard for me to write short answers...i am a kp girl sometimes and like INFO#thank u for being excited abt my stuff that makes me excited abt writing my answers i feel so validated#idk i often get worried that the stuff im writing is weird or im spamming the dashboard so the fact that u Want them is cool to me#basically i love u i love u i love you THAAAAANK YOU BABES#ALSO IF YOU SENT ME A MESSAGE ASKING ME TO UNDIVORCE RAVESEY HAHA NEVER!!!#just kidding lmaooooooo!!! i will do it and i see them its gonna take a second to block out all that dialogue#hang tight besties#BUT LEGIT WHEN I TYPED THAT BEING TKAK MESSAGE I WAS LIKE THIS IS CRAZY I GOTTA DELETE THIS but just for u it can stay#side note sorry i'm being insane on pinterest i'm having a lot of feelings abt the tsot toxic yuri smh
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voerman · 6 months
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i for one wish mayrina all the best with her undead husband and fey touched baby
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chooey · 11 months
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common kendall L
#THIS IS CRAZYYYY#loved the last episode actually#also rare roman W ?????#when he said youre bullshit we're all bullshit we're nothing like wow FINALLY?????#anyway i found watching the series kind of. insufferable 😭#and like what the hell is this tomgreg endgame lmfao 😭#whatever they have going on i dont wanna know anything ! dont care if it's pride month#roy kids are just a bunch of losers wbk !!!!!!!!!!#not saying logan roy is a good person or that i like him i dont like any of them but according to this show he was a good business man so ?#shivtom ok then!!!!!! shiv though still a nepo baby (semi capable???) i cant really find it in me to hate her#piss babiest award goes to kendall roy idc#ok real talk theres room.... a house for nuance here#ultimately this boils down to logan being a shitty dad to all of them and building a company that encourages toxic shit to fester#but even that piece of shit had his own demons#logan roy unforgivable unreedemable literally hell if it were a man#still... i liked that the last episode at least tried to show his good side (? lol 😭) the scene was the warmest a succession scene can go#also the scene of them acting like children. it was good. it reminded me of the boat scene in s1 at shiv's wedding (probably intentional)#if i could say which character i... didn't like necessarily but people i found interesting/captivating it would be...#kendall tbh... gerri shiv stewy caroline tom (he is SO weird and fucked up) greg??? frank? roman i was on the fence Always#it's bad that in his mind he's the middle child bc im the middle child 😭 I don't identify with this i don't claim it i don't approve of it#........but sometimes........ yeah#logan was right about one thing and that they are just unserious people lmfao 😭 nice parting words huh#unblocking the tag now!!!!!!! wow finally i can see what people were thought of this show/the characters#maybe my view is more cynical and too vanilla i'm sorry i just cant excuse the heinous shit these people did hence i don't have a favorite#it's just a fictional show (!!!!!!) well ok but i just didn't love them as characters!!!!!!! 😭#succession#izza💭
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beannary · 2 years
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Yes i did just come to the realization that I am the same age as Jim, Claire, and Toby
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stolligaseptember · 2 years
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so i maybe finally finished my rewatch of hart of dixie and am having A Lot Of Thoughts
#WE WERE ROBBED OF SEASON FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#we deserved to see the chaos wade and zoe got up to as parents#alsoooooooooooooo y'all can fight me but in my head they don't have another kid for like. Years.#like literally. we're talking at least a decade.#Look an unplanned pregnancy took its toll and then jack was early and they feel like they're constantly playing catch up#and then time literally just flies away from them#and then one day they're just standing there with their lanky little pre-teen and just go 'oh shit. do we want more???'#and then it's a Race Against The Clock#it also didn't help that jack never asked for siblings#he grew up very content with his sprawling bluebell family and never felt the need for them#that being said he's going to be THE MOST DOTING big brother of all time#and then it's his time to play catch up and as soon as he gets to hold his little baby sister for the first time#he's going to demand at least six more#i feel like one unplanned and one late pregnancy is going to be just exactly what zoe and wade will be able to take though#and they're both going to end up pretty miffed that they somehow ended up as a picture perfect nuclear family#them!!!!!!! the two of them!!!!!!!!!! married with two children!!!!!!!!!!! preposterous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hart of dixie#also also you know how tansy's line 'wade you're never gonna be mr doctor hart the bar tending house husband' lives rent free in my head#and how wade FINALLY proved her wrong with this last episode#because he did that!!!!! he DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#LOVE THAT FOR HIM
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tender-rosiey · 5 months
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“GOOD! NOW PUNCH HIS FACE!”
— when your baby and gojo, geto, nanami, toji, and sukuna get protective over you (f!reader)
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a/n: I am alive!! as an apology here is a multi-character post 🙏 btw in toji's part, you're megumi's mom
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GOJO SATORU:
two peas in a pod, twins, copies: these are all things people have called your husband and son.
honestly, they’re not wrong. your son has his father’s looks—satoru swears he has your nose and ears but anyway—and he carries the same protectiveness and love he holds for you, if not amplified.
you can’t count on one hand the amount of times the house has been turned upside down because of their fights for a cuddle session with you.
of course, you have always tried suggesting them simply sharing you, but these problem children would rather eat raw zucchini than ever share the cuddle time.
so while your son is barely six, you can still count on him to team up with satoru against anyone who wrongs you in anyway like what’s happening right now for example.
you’re out with your lovely family to buy some groceries, and since they both were whining about getting some sweets, you allowed them to go and snatch a couple from the next aisle.
on the other hand, you stayed to look for another type of detergent to clean the floor—especially since satoru got this new type of paint for s/n and it’s quite an endeavor to remove it with a regular detergent.
however, being in the cleaning supplies section never guaranteed the lack of filthy men who can’t take no for an answer. this one man approaches you, smug grin on his face as he leans on the wall, “what’s a pretty lady like you doing alone?”
“buying groceries like a normal person; now please leave me alone.”
he quickly frowns, “don’t be so stingy doll,” his hand extends towards your arm, “I can show you a good time; I promise—“
the man is swiftly smacked with an egg on his face, and he is left with the egg dripping down his face, “what’s your wrong with your kid, man?!” he yells at the person behind you.
he then grumbles, “ruined a potential good night.”
“my kid was absolutely right in what he did,” you hear satoru’s voice. you then feel a hand on your shoulder, and you’re pulled into a chest you’re all too familiar with, “’toru—“
your husband shoots a small smile your way, pressing a quick kiss to your lips, before looking at his son, “that last throw was very good, s/n! throw another one but just below his stomach."
a cheshire cat-like grin is plastered on your husband’s face as s/n prepares to launch another egg at the man.
there is a very evident scowl on your son’s face as he yells, “don’t you ever bother mama again, you stinky bum crumb!”
the man gasps and tries to make a run for it, but your son wouldn’t be the son of gojo satoru if he doesn’t manage to land the hit exactly where he wants.
the man quickly crumbles to the ground screaming and alerting literally everyone in the store.
so satoru picks both you and s/n and makes a run for it.
you hold tightly onto him, “wait, ‘toru, the groceries!”
“we can always order! saving my princess and son is more important!”
your son grumbles, “but I want to hit the rude man!”
“me too, champ, but—“ satoru sweat-drops and glances behind him, “I doubt the angry security guards would like that!”
GETO SUGURU:
your twin girls are one of the sassiest to exist.
in a way, they take after their father who is also pretty sassy but very low-key.
the sass of all three combined is terrible to be the victim of. luckily for you, they don’t dare direct their triple ray towards you, especially—in any argument—at least one will try to win you over.
if it’s suguru trying to stay on your good side, then he is hugging you from behind, pressing feather-like kisses on your shoulder and whispering about how sweet you are. if it’s the girls, then they cling to your legs and keep yelling about how much they love you.
so it is safe to say that you have a small squad to protect you from any potential “danger”.
“oh my, dear shouldn’t you focus on refining yourself a bit more?” you hear a woman say beside you.
you turn towards her, offended, “excuse me?”
“I mean,” her eyes scan you, disapprovingly, “you look average at best, and with that you won’t be able to find yourself a husband, let alone have children.”
you’re still processing her audacity as she continues, “but then again, it’s probably for the better that you don’t have children; you can barely take care of yourself.”
“can I help you?” your husband says as he approaches the woman.
she smiles condescendingly before chuckling, “I was simply telling this lady to take care of herself more; she hardly looks presentable.”
geto’s smiles tenses up as he is about to give the woman a calm peace of his mind, but his daughters beat him to it.
your older twin stands in front of the woman, scanning her with pure disgust in her eyes.
she grimaces and voices out her thoughts, “you are like a crunchy lizard.”
the woman gasps, “how dare you—!”
you cut off the woman, curious about your daughter’s conclusion, “why a crunchy lizard, sweetheart?”
your daughter looks at you with a small frown, shaking her head, “a crunchy lizard is an ugly sad lizard.”
a snort escapes your husband, and you’re barely able to contain your smile.
your other daughter follows up, looking at her twin sister, “the lady looks like that one green thingy we saw yesterday,” she taps her little foot, trying to remember and beams at the woman, “shrek! you look like shrek!”
then they both glare at her, frowning, “you’re a monkey!”
your husband doesn’t let it go as he deals the final—subtle—blow, “come on now girls; we shouldn’t bully the lady with the mcdonald’s like hairline anymore.”
it seems like the woman can’t take it anymore as she starts sobbing and running to the hills.
a moment of silence is shared across the four of you, before you carry both of your girls in your arms and start tickling them, “I don’t know whether to be proud of you or scold you, little evil girls!”
they squeal, trying to escape your hold and calling for their father.
geto chuckles and wraps his arms around the three of you, “let them have it for tonight, y/n,” he ruffles their hair, “they were brave and defended their mom, after all.”
“yeah, papa is right!”
“yes mama, please!”
you pout then smirk at geto, “well I don’t mind, and since papa is also very proud of you girls, he will buy any toy that you guys want today!”
the color drains from your husband’s face, and he watches motionlessly as his girls latch onto him, screaming about the toys they want.
you giggle at his expression and blow him a kiss. he reluctantly blows you one back, while the girls excitedly pull him towards the toy store.
NANAMI KENTO:
you and your husband were blessed with the sweetest girl as your daughter, and she was just recently joined by another sweet girl.
you can never forget the happiness on your daughter’s face when she saw her baby sister.
it also seems that no matter how many times you give birth, your husband can’t help but get emotional when he holds your baby. his hands are forever delicate as he cradles her to his chest.
you remember what he said during the birth of your first daughter.
“I feel like a piece of heaven has been plucked and placed in my arms.”
the way he always goes soft for the three of you is honestly adorable.
today, you were going on an outing with your—now 6 months old—baby and your older daughter who is almost six.
your husband never brags about his muscular form, but he never misses a chance to carry the baby or the baby supplies.
you have offered to at least carry the bag, but he always refuses, stating that ‘you already carried the baby for nine entire months in your belly; this is the least I can do.’
so yeah, sometimes you wish to smooch your husband till forever, but that’s not the point.
you’re walking hand in hand with your daughter as she sings her favorite song. you hear someone click their tongue, so you look to the side and lock eyes with an old lady. she takes the opportunity and approaches you.
“you should be ashamed of yourself!” she yells pointing at you, “your husband shouldn’t be carrying the baby supplies nor the baby itself for the matter,” she scowls, “that’s your job!”
“with all due respect ma’am, but that isn’t her job, and taking care of the baby should be something we are both responsible for.”
“yeah!” your daughter huffs, “and don’t take out your sad life on my mama!”
your eyes widen as you stare at your daughter.
on the other side, your husband is just as speechless. your daughter pays no one any mind as she continues, “mama works hard every day! you wouldn’t know that! you immature nugget!”
nanami frowns lightly, “d/n, that’s not nice—“
and for the cherry on top, your baby daughter throws the bottle cap she was playing with at the old lady, and frowns at her.
she starts babbling some nonsense that you're pretty sure are curse words in baby language.
having had enough, the old lady huffs, “the utter disrespect,” and starts walking away.
the rest of the spectators’ eyes follow her till she is out of sight. finally then, people start minding their own business, and you and your little family are left to the aftermath.
you giggle, “that was funny.”
“really?!” your daughter beams.
nanami cuts her off, “no,” he then looks at you with a small frown, a sigh escaping his lips, “y/n don’t encourage them—“
your baby daughter screams happily when she sees her sister smile. she starts kicking her feet with the biggest smile on her own face.
your older daughter starts laughing with her and tries to make her little sister laugh more—she was successful.
meanwhile, you chuckle, leaning on your husband’s shoulder, “admit it, kento; it was kind of funny.”
his resolve softens at the sound of laughter from all three of his girls, “okay, maybe a little, but—“
“yay!!”
ladies: 1
kento: 0
FUSHIGURO TOJI:
your husband and son are so alike, save for the part that your husband is a bit more shameless, and your son is more on the shy side.
however, they both have the same bluntness and the tendency to give anyone who they don’t like attitude.
for example, today, you were walking in the park with the both of them to unwind a bit.
not to mention that megumi wanted to walk his dogs which was a plus, since you would be able to watch your dear son play around with them.
it was all going great until you saw an old ‘friend’ who came running at the sight of you. he was someone who has always been way too touchy and in your personal bubble.
you have tried talking to him about it, but you’re confident that he does it to somehow force you into reciprocating the intimacy.
even if you’re a married woman with a freaking kid.
he giddily clasps your hand, “y/n, ‘been a long time!”
“h-hey,” you smile awkwardly.
he laughs, “I was passing by when I saw your figure, and I couldn’t help but come and say hi.”
you nod, “that’s great, but I am busy, so maybe later?—“
“you’ve gotten even prettier!” he exclaims, “I wish you would finally take me out on a—“
“can’t you see that she is uncomfortable?” your son retorts, “also, you should step back; you shouldn’t touch someone like this without asking them.”
megumi squeezes himself between the both you and glares at the man.
the guy was about to reply to your son, but toji pushes him back with ease, pulling you beside him and hand resting on your waist almost by instinct, “kid is right,” he tilts his head a bit, “ever been taught manners or do I have to do the teaching for you?”
the guy is taken back; offended, he snaps “you can’t speak to me like that!”
“and you can’t hold my mom’s hands like that, but here we are,” your son cleverly sasses him.
on the other hand, your—shameless—husband pulls you into one scandalous kiss and smirks at the guy when he pulls back, “and you can’t hit on a married woman, by the way.”
you hear your son gag in disgust at his dad’s actions, but you’re too busy burying your face in your husband’s chest, hoping that the guy disappears before toji makes even more of a bigger scene.
you also hope that the ground would swallow you, but that’s the alternative option.
the guy clutches his fist, before walking away, spewing insults at the sky—since he is too scared to cuss out your buff husband. once the man is out of sight, toji ruffles megumi’s hair, chuckling, “good job, kid.”
your shy bean’s cheeks redden slightly as he looks away, “…thanks.”
you’re still thinking about what just happened when you slap your husband’s chest, “toji, literally why?” you grumble, patting megumi who started holding onto your leg the moment you hugged toji.
“why not,” your husband shrugs with a small smile, taking pride in your flustered form.
“dad, I want ice cream.”
“no, you just want me to let go your mom, so you can hog her for yourself,” toji grumbles, staring down at megumi.
unfaltering, megumi looks up at him ,“dad, I want ice cream.”
“god damn it, listen here you—“
“divine dogs.”
RYOMEN SUKUNA:
there is no denying that both your son and your husband care for you very much, and they both—very aggressively—compete for your attention.
I am talking he literally throws the kid across the room kind of aggressive, and your son, in turn, throws whatever he has at him.
it’s eventful, but you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t one of the reasons why you will get grey hair earlier than everyone else.
so their very aggressive nature is also shown in their protectiveness over you.
a person doesn’t need to insult or even dare flirt with you for your devil duo to make their life a living hell; your husband and son don’t tolerate someone speaking to you if it causes you to ignore both of them.
for example, this one new servant was clueless to where the broom is, and unluckily for him, he saw you sitting with your husband and son in the gardens. he humbly approached you, “excuse me, m’lady.”
you turn to look at him with a smile, “yes?”
he clears throat, a bit flustered by the attention, “I—I wanted to ask where the—“
“up your ass, you disgusting fiend,” your son sneers followed by his father’s ever-permanent scowl.
“who gave you the permission to come and speak to her so casually?” sukuna presses, and the servant quickly falls to his knees.
“m-my apologies, my lord! I did not mean to disturb you!”
sukuna crosses his arms, “well, you did, and you also disturbed your queen and prince,” his eyes narrow at the servant, “what do you have to say for yourself?”
meanwhile, you’re watching all of that, mouth agape and trying to articulate anything to save the poor guy. you finally find your voice, “sukuna, it’s okay; he didn’t mean—“
your son hugs you tightly and glares at the servant, “to think he would so brazenly speak to you like you’re old friends is terrible, mother.”
you can almost see your son’s cursed energy flaring, and you can spot the small smirk on your husband’s face as he watches his son.
before it escalates any further and you find yet another dead corpse in your palace, you pick up your son, kissing his cheek which makes him flustered and causing him to bury his face in your neck.
you look at the servant, “you’re dismissed, and you can ask the head maid about anything you need, okay?”
“y-yes, m’lady!” he, however, stays glued to the ground, “may I have the permission to lift my head?”
sukuna grunts, “sure.”
“thank you, m’lord,” the servant says, before scurrying towards the gate, having secured his freedom after his little mistake.
or at least, that’s what he thought.
your husband slices his legs off with a flick of a finger, and your son, who has inherited his father’s technique, slices the head off.
and so the body falls to the ground, and the other servants hurriedly start cleaning up the mess.
you frown at your husband, “sukuna! he apologized!”
he rolls his eyes, and pulls you by the waist, “do I look like I care? he shouldn’t have interrupted our time together.”
“aww, you’re jealous!”
“no, I am not—“
“hands off, old man!”
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Text
Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)
i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*
Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:
Everything everywhere is queer all at once
Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other
The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.
Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.
God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.
There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me
They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.
Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.
The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.
Terry Pratchett is not fictional.
He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.
They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.
At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.
Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.
During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.
Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.
It's all very queer, just like the fandom.
Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.
They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.
Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.
Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'
It's all ineffably queer my good fellows
Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.
There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.
The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.
There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.
There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.
Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.
The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.
Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.
Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.
Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.
Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.
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