#and! there were a few kirk mccoy and spock friendship moments that got me :’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spacedancer1701 · 4 years

Text

Another Life - a Star Trek fic - (Chapters 51 - 55)

Sequel to ‘On Borrowed Time’

Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (AOS) Pairing: McCoy x Original Female Character (Dr. Jennifer Hope) Characters: The Crew of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) Rating/Warnings: None Tags: Romance, Friendship, Love, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Angst/H/C, Caring/Protective/Tender/Comforting/Happy/Grumpy/Worried McCoy Word Count: This is a long one. Again. 😄 (71 chapters - 177k)

Read it on AO3: Another Life

Chapter 51

As soon as the Enterprise had taken up orbit around Iridis, Hope and McCoy beamed down to the governmental emergency camp, far enough away from the battle zone to be safe from radiation. The doctor had brought as many relevant medical supplies and tools as he’d been able to justify taking from the Enterprise, which the Iridians gratefully accepted. With time being of the essence, Hope and McCoy were promptly briefed on the current situation and handed their protection suits, before being transported to the most recent bomb site.

McCoy didn’t see much of Hope after that, him being put in charge of the main surgical team, and her being recruited for the search and rescue team. With all that was going on amidst the chaos and devastation, the doctor had his hands full from the moment they arrived, and there was simply no time to worry about her. He was still relieved, though, when, a few hours later, he caught a brief glimpse of her, immediately recognising her in her slightly too big protection suit as she tenderly cradled a dying child in her arms, the heart-breaking image forever etched into his mind and his soul.

When he saw Hope again, almost twenty hours later, after having been decontaminated and transported back to the camp for the compulsory rest period, she was grey-faced and shaking with horror and fatigue. And when she looked at him as if daring him to say, ‘I told you so’, he just wordlessly took her in his arms, holding her tight as they both silently wept for the innocent victims of this obnoxious war.

They still didn’t speak as they made their way to their allocated ‘sleeping cubicle’, grabbing a couple of nutrition bars and water bottles on the way, and, completely shattered, fell on a bunk, not even considering separate beds for the few hours of sleep.

“Talk to me, love,” McCoy said softly, cradling Hope’s trembling body in his arms and taking her hand in his, remembering all the missions where he’d held her hand to go to sleep, which seemed like a lifetime ago.

“I’m fine, Leonard, go to sleep,” Hope mumbled tiredly, her words slurred from exhaustion.

“No, you’re not,” the doctor insisted, pained by her obvious distress and trying to fight his own fatigue. “You need to talk about this, love. Don’t bottle it up, please!”

“And you need to sleep. We both do,” was her short reply, her voice quivering in time with her body.

“There’s no satisfaction in having been right, you know,” the doctor murmured softly, his heart breaking as he pulled her closer against his chest. “You don’t have to pretend you’re not shocked to the core. When I said this would break you and I wouldn’t have time to look after of you, I didn’t mean I wouldn’t be there for you. That you couldn’t let me see how it affects you.”

“I’m so sorry, Leonard,” Hope burst out, clinging to him tightly, her voice choked with anguish. “You were right. I didn’t have the faintest idea how terrible it would be. You just wanted to protect me. Like you always do. But I’m not sorry I came. How could I not have come? Even if it only makes the slightest difference.”

“I’m sorry, too,” McCoy said quietly, caressing her back and resting his cheek against the top of her head. “But I’m also glad you came. We do whatever we can to save as many kids as possible, and yet, it’s still too little too late for so many of them. But if your being here means that even just one child is found that wouldn’t have been found otherwise, or that at least some of the kids who are beyond saving don’t have to die alone but in someone’s loving arms instead, it makes a huge difference.”

The doctor’s voice broke and angry, desperate tears started streaming down his face.

“We’ll get through this together, love,” he whispered. “I’m really grateful you’re here. I need you by my side.”

They both fell silent, just holding each other tightly and drawing comfort from the other’s presence.

Exactly as it should be, Jenny thought lovingly, before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

-x-x-x-x-x-

The next day was a repeat of the first, and so was the day after that, leaving Jenny and McCoy ever more exhausted and frustrated.

Enough! Jenny thought, fighting against her growing lethargy and hopelessness. Something has to be done. We’re Starfleet officers, for heaven’s sake! We have the power, and the responsibility, to change things!

McCoy was up to his neck in fighting to save lives, so finding a solution on a grander scale was left to her. She’d have to find a way to convince the Iridians of re-joining the Federation. Or at least ask for their help. Besides, the Enterprise couldn't stay in orbit around Iridis forever, in fact, three days were about the maximum Kirk could justify. After that, he’d have to take the ship away and leave her and the doctor stranded here for the time being.

But having the Enterprise of all starships at their disposal was the best thing that could have happened to the Iridians, Jenny realised. They should really take advantage of that. She had to make them see reason.

So, Jenny contacted the captain, told him of her plan, and was grateful to get both his and Spock’s valuable advice on how best to proceed. Spock provided her with all the data she needed, and told her who to try and contact, while Kirk coached her on what to say and how best to go about persuading the Iridians to officially request the Federation’s assistance.

Jenny didn’t discuss any of this with McCoy. Before falling asleep, she just told him that she’d been talking to Kirk and would be meeting some Iridian officials the next day, which he acknowledged with a tired grunt but didn’t question any further. He was totally focused on the medical side of things, as he should be, and really needed all the sleep he could get.

Witnessing Leonard’s utter devotion to his job as a healer never failed to melt Jenny’s heart and remind her of how much she loved him. And seeing the tiny sparks of joy for every life he’d saved shine through his general air of despair at not being able to stop all the horror and devastation around them, reassured her that he was still a long way from giving up or breaking down.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Kirk had been relieved to hear from Hope, and was very supportive, if a little doubtful, of her plan to get the Iridian government to consider re-joining the Federation. The condensed version she’d given them of the situation she and McCoy were finding themselves in had been enough to make the captain’s hair stand on end, and he’d been more than happy to share his thoughts on how best to approach the Iridian officials, promising to stand by in case the Iridians wanted to negotiate.

So, knowing Hope, Kirk wasn’t completely surprised when he and Spock were asked to beam down to meet with the Iridian government early the next afternoon. His head of linguistics was certainly a force to be reckoned with, he thought proudly, feeling sorry for anyone who’d underestimate Hope because of her youth or delicate appearance.

Obviously, Hope had got the government officials to agree that being part of the Federation, even if it meant an infringement on their ‘absolute freedom’, was preferable to being all alone and vulnerable, exposed to ruthless attacks like the one they were currently experiencing.

Her reasoning was almost instantly proven right, when even just the news of Kirk’s visit to the government and the Enterprise’s presence in orbit led to an immediate cessation of hostilities. The cowardly rebels apparently didn’t want to take on the Federation. And Captain Kirk was quite obviously a man whom a certain reputation preceded. The stories of his many victories over hostile aggressors were well known all around the galaxy.

Unfortunately, with the Enterprise now officially in the picture, one of the rebel leaders had acted fast and successfully fled Iridis, but Kirk was confident that he wouldn’t get far. His identity was known, and, being one of the most wanted criminals of the galaxy already, it was only a matter of time until he’d be apprehended.

As for the second leader and the co-conspirators, the captain got word of them having turned themselves in before he’d even left the negotiating table. Satisfied with the outcome of his talks with the Iridian government, and immensely happy to know that Bones was finally out of danger again, Kirk requested to wait for his friend’s return at the emergency camp to give him the good news in person. And to reassure himself that the doctor was – at least physically – unharmed.

-x-x-x-x-x-

When McCoy returned to the camp after yet another horrible day knee deep in severely injured patients, most of them children, he was too exhausted to even feel the rage that usually claimed him as soon as his thoughts weren’t fully focused on his job anymore. But when he spotted Jim waiting for him, his heart almost stopped, immediately thinking that his friend was here because something terrible had happened to Hope.

It took his weary eyes and mind a few moments to take in Kirk’s beaming smile, suggesting that the captain had quite obviously come bearing good news, whatever they were, and his legs almost gave out with the sheer relief of that realisation. Jim had to reach out and steady him, his wide grin giving way to a worried frown at the doctor’s dizzy spell, but McCoy quickly waved his concerns away, sitting down in the nearest chair and gruffly demanding to know what Kirk was doing here.

One of the other doctors, who’d just returned with him, handed him a bottle of water as well as a bag of nuts, which McCoy gratefully accepted, before settling back and listening intently as Jim explained that the Iridians had finally asked the Federation for help, and that the attacks were over.

The doctor felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders. There would be no more victims, robbed of any future. No more watching innocent kids suffer and die, no more ghastly injuries that he knew, even as he treated them, would never fully heal, no more saving children from death while knowing they’d never be able to lead normal, painless lives again. It was only when Kirk handed him a tissue and patted his shoulder, that he noticed the tears running down his face.

“How did you manage to do that, Jim?” McCoy asked, impressed, as always, by his friend’s unsurpassed resourcefulness and diplomatic skills.

“I didn’t! Your girlfriend did,” Kirk grinned, to the doctor’s surprise, and McCoy’s heart melted at the pride in the captain’s voice and eyes.

Jim went on to tell him the whole story, finishing enthusiastically with, “She made this happen, Bones! She effectively stopped this war. Hope’s a hell of a Starfleet officer, and more than a little manipulative if she sets her mind to it.”

That made McCoy chuckle, knowing exactly how ‘manipulative’ Hope could be. No matter how annoyed he was with her, he simply couldn't stay angry, when she remorsefully fluttered her eyelashes at him. And her puppy-dog looks certainly made it impossible for him to deny her anything. He was just glad Jenny was such a good person and would never take advantage of the power she held over him. At least not where it wasn’t appropriate.

“Really, Bones, Hope is brilliant,” Kirk went on fervently, and the doctor could see that the captain, despite being prone to exaggeration, meant it. “And courageous as hell. She’s definitely going places.”

“I never doubted that,” McCoy smiled, feeling prouder than ever of the woman he was lucky enough to share his life with.

“Good thing you’re such a great team,” the captain continued more quietly, looking straight into McCoy’s eyes, his expression growing serious. “Because she sure isn’t going anywhere without you. She loves you with all her heart, Bones. I hope you know how much she adores and admires you. She asked for leave just to be here with you, and damn the consequences. Did you know that?”

“I guessed as much,” the doctor replied softly, thinking that, of course, he’d known that Jim couldn't actually have sent her, but only just realising the full implications of her decision to come with him.

Kirk must have seen the amazement on McCoy’s face, as he suddenly started to grin and clapped a friendly hand on the doctor’s back.

“You’re one lucky bastard, Bones,” the captain laughed, fondly shaking his head. “And you more than deserve it. Just, please, don’t ever let her go again. Or drive her away because you think she deserves better or something. You were made for each other. Anyone can see that. You bring out each other’s full potential. There have never been two people better suited for a long and happy life together.”

-x-x-x-x-x-

McCoy and Hope stayed on Iridis for another two days, the doctor refusing to leave before having made sure that every last patient was safe and got the best possible treatment, and Jenny refusing to leave his side.

When they finally returned to the Enterprise, totally worn out but immensely relieved, they went straight to McCoy’s quarters and slept for ten hours straight. By the time they woke up again, it was the middle of the night on the ship.

They knew they should talk. There was certainly a lot to talk about, to help each other cope with everything they’d seen. But they didn’t feel like talking at all. Not just yet. All they wanted in that moment was to feel the warmth and comfort of being alive and together. To make love and forget about everything else.

And that’s exactly what they did. Although not quite the way they usually celebrated their love and enjoyed each other’s bodies. Not hot, not passionate, no teasing, no games. Nothing wild or ecstatic, just slow, and soft, and tender. Quietly, and silently, drawing comfort from each other, finding pleasure in their reassuring closeness rather than in unbridled desire. And once again, in perfect accord with each other on what they wanted and needed.

Chapter 52

A/N: As you’ve probably guessed by now, I’m as passionate about music and dancing as Hope is. 😊 There’s a lot of music from Hope’s past mentioned in this chapter, and if you’d like to have the ‘soundtrack’, I’ve put together a ‘playlist’ at the end of chapter 52.

Jenny and McCoy resumed their duties the next day. She felt it would do her good to go back to her normal routine, and the doctor supported her suggestion. He insisted, however, that they talk about everything in the evening. Properly and at length. He understood that she didn’t want to dwell all day on the atrocities she’d seen, but was convinced that the quickest way to put the traumatic experience behind them was to actively deal with it instead of letting it fester at the back of their minds.

So they talked, and cried, and held each other for half of the next couple of nights, and Jenny had to admit that she really felt lighter with every memory she shared with Leonard. Although she seemed to do a lot more of the sharing than he did. In typical McCoy manner, he’d made it all about her. Yet, she sensed that it was therapy for him just as much as it was for her.

The doctor just couldn't help it, he always needed to be – or at least pretend to be – strong. Strong for her, to make her feel safe and cared for. And she did, for which she loved him. Just as she loved him for the unfailing gentleness with which he coaxed things out of her. But she was also quite aware that it was his coping mechanism as much as anything else. Being strong for others was his very own way of dealing with trauma.

Of course, Jenny knew that Leonard had a lot more experience than she had, that he’d seen horror and devastation like they’d encountered on Iridis before, maybe even worse. But she also knew that it still affected him immensely. Probably just as much as the first time. Hard-bitten and cynical as he liked to present himself to the world, Jenny knew him better. Behind all the talk, underneath all the professionalism, he was the most sensitive and empathetic man imaginable. Another one of the many reasons she loved him so much.

Half a week after their return to the Enterprise, Jenny finally felt positivity starting to fill her soul again. Seeing the beauty of things, feeling optimistic and confident again. And, above all, allowing herself to feel proud of having had a part in ending this atrocious war on Iridis. A fact that Kirk and McCoy didn’t hold back on and reminded her several times a day.

“You’re an awesome lady!” currently seemed to be the doctor’s favourite phrase, always delivered with a wondrous shake of his head and eternal love and admiration in his eyes. And even though Jenny knew that Leonard was biased and enjoyed few things more than boosting her confidence, hearing these words of praise from him was still music to her ears.

-x-x-x-x-x-

During her days of grief and dealing with the aftermath of Iridis, Jenny’s friends had kept a respectful distance, realising that she wasn’t yet ready to sing, or dance, or generally enjoy herself again. But as soon as they noticed her changing back to her old, cheerful self, Uhura practically pounced on her, eager to make that party she’d promised happen.

It had obviously been extremely hard for Nyota to wait that long, but seeing that after what Jenny had been through partying was not the most appropriate thing to do, she’d managed to restrain herself. Now, however, Uhura was adamant to get the party rolling as soon as possible.

“Nothing better to cheer you up than an evening full of music and dancing. Of letting your hair down,” she beamed, and Jenny had to admit that Nyota was right. She could definitely do with a party like that now.

As it turned out, the surprise Uhura and Spock had been working on was a massive compilation of rock, pop, and country songs from the late 1900s. It was an impressive collection of songs, most of which Jenny hadn’t heard since her ‘first life’. How they’d even managed to get their hands on all these tracks was a miracle to her. A miracle which she gave Spock most of the credit for. He was an incredible – and incredibly resourceful – researcher. It must have been nearly impossible, a true labour of love – love for her, in this case, and Jenny deeply appreciated it.

Music had always been an important factor in her life, practically all of her memories, the good ones as well as the bad ones, came with their own ‘soundtrack’. She’d often talked about this with Uhura, who felt very similar about music, and had quite obviously been the driving force behind this project.

Jenny was so overwhelmed when they handed her their gift in form of a record tape, she couldn't stop hugging and kissing Nyota. Or beaming at Spock like a goon, trusting that, the way she knew him by now, he didn’t mind, and even secretly enjoyed her display of overjoyed gratitude.

She was just glad that she’d had the foresight to teach anyone interested a lot of dance moves and styles from that era, and that Chekov, as well as a lot of her friends, knew how to do ‘The Hustle’ or ‘Disco Fox’. Now that she had all those songs at her disposal, this was going to be the party of her life.

Jenny just couldn't wait for evening to come, overwhelmed with joy, anticipation, and a feeling of immense gratitude and love for Uhura and Spock to have put in all those hours just to make her happy. She was truly blessed with her friends. And with the man in her life, who stoically endured her excited babbling and general display of unrestrained exhilaration for hours, the indulgent smile and loving gaze never leaving his face.

-x-x-x-x-x-

McCoy couldn't get enough of watching Hope dancing and moving to the music, completely lost in the rhythm, as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Sitting next to Jim and Scotty, nursing a drink, he was immensely glad to see her in such high spirits again.

Only someone who’d seen similar horror could understand how an experience like Iridis affected your whole being, invading every waking thought the moment you stopped focusing on your job or some other urgent matter, and even following you into your dreams. Of course, the doctor hadn’t told Hope that, no matter how often you saw horrors like these, you never got used to them.

When she’d arranged to come with him, he’d been so scared that her gentle, innocent soul would take permanent damage, but he’d once again underestimated Hope’s strength. Yes, she’d been upset, shocked, horrified by the whole experience, but by taking action and helping to end the terror, she’d turned it into something meaningful, something she could live with and even be proud of. He certainly was.

Looking at her now, McCoy couldn't remember ever seeing her happier. Or more hyped up. His heart was soaring just watching her. She’d always been an incredible dancer, but tonight, every song seemed to have its own choreography. And it probably had, since these were all her songs. Songs she’d grown up with, and which Spock and Uhura had painstakingly researched and accumulated for her.

Just the memory of Hope’s delighted squeals, when she’d skipped through the list of songs that her friends had surprised her with this afternoon, put a fond smile on the doctor’s face. Uhura hadn’t even tried to hide her excitement over their gift. But McCoy could have sworn that he’d detected delight in Spock's eyes too.

The long list of names, singers and bands most of which the doctor had never heard of, had certainly made Hope’s day, and she’d reverently kept murmuring them to herself, like a mantra, while they’d got ready for the party.

“This is going to be just like one of my high school parties!” Hope had gushed, grinning from ear to ear, her delight contagious. “I can’t believe I’ll be dancing to all those Bryan Adams and Bruce Springsteen songs again. Or to Gloria Gaynor and Michael Jackson. And there’ll be Rod Stewart, Elton John, Phil Collins, too! I’m just glad I taught half the ship how to properly disco dance!”

While they’d got dressed, Hope had kept running to him for kisses, or hugs, or just to beam at him, all the time, her happiness tangible, and McCoy hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her ever since.

Right now, she was dancing, or rather bouncing to ‘I Am What I Am’. He’d never heard the original version until now, but Hope had performed this with the band on several occasions, and he’d always thought the song suited her perfectly. She and Uhura appeared as powerful as the words of the song, their dance moves simply mesmerising to watch.

The next song was ‘I Will Survive’ by the same singer, and McCoy saw Hope almost bubbling over with energy. Another perfect song for her, although – hopefully – not quite in the context of the lyrics. But there was no question that Hope was a true survivor. Even though in her skin-tight jeans, white crop top, flats and ponytail, she looked more like the high school girl she’d mentioned earlier, sweet, young, and vulnerable, making him feel even more protective of her than he usually did.

Thinking of her as a high school girl, McCoy was gripped by another strange feeling. Almost like jealousy. But not of a particular person. More of memories he could never share. A whole life he could never share. A world he could never see. Loving her as he did, he wanted to know everything about her, but that just wasn’t possible. Not that he’d tell her, of course. He wasn’t proud of these jealous feelings only ever she seemed to bring out in him. Although she probably knew him well enough to notice them anyway.

Hope had been dancing for two hours straight already, just taking a short break when someone offered her a drink. He’d never known anyone more energetic than her. Once again, McCoy was reminded of their age difference. It was so obvious. Her energy seemed to be never-ending. And while he was certainly fit for his age, he was clearly no match for Hope’s level of fitness. But then, few people were. He’d probably have had a hard time keeping up with her when he’d actually been her age.

Casting a quick glance at Jim, who was trying to have a conversation with Scotty over the almost deafening music, the doctor took a sip from his drink, his old doubts arising again. Did he really have a right to love her? To want her to spend the rest of her life with him, an old divorcee? To rob her of the chance to find someone her own age, someone as full of energy as she was? Someone with a brilliant career still ahead of them, just like her?

He’d been through this a million times in his head. Had asked himself the same questions over and over again. And the answer was always the same.

Yes!

Yes, he had every right. Because, unfathomable and perplexing as it was, he made her happy. He truly did. And she’d told him time and again that they didn’t have to do everything together all of the time. That he didn’t have to come dancing with her if he was tired after a long day. That it was perfectly all right to do separate things. That she didn’t expect them, didn’t even want them to be joined at the hip, as she’d put it.

Unlike his ex-wife, she trusted him completely, and didn’t mind if he couldn't or wouldn’t join her in all her activities. She wasn’t bothered if he did his own thing, disappeared into the depths of a lab, was engrossed in a medical journal or a thrilling history book, or even just met up with friends without her. Quite the contrary, she enjoyed having her own life. And he had to admit that that suited him just fine. Especially on a starship, where everyone seemed to live in one another’s pockets anyway, it was actually quite nice to have something interesting to tell each other in the evenings.

The music was quietening down a little, McCoy noticed, as the lights, which had been dimmed all evening, started to fade even more. Not in volume, unfortunately, but the next song was definitely slower.

‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You’ was sounding from the speakers, and Hope’s gaze met his, the undisguised love in her eyes almost taking his breath away. Trust her to immediately look at him, when the lyrics of a song ‘demanded’ it. And, boy, that song was beautiful, the words going straight to his heart. And to other parts of his body, too. He certainly couldn't take his eyes off her. And she was definitely ‘too good to be true’ as well as ‘heaven to touch’.

The two of them stared into each other’s eyes across the dimly lit space, and the doctor’s heart just melted knowing that Hope had eyes only for him, even when she was dancing with someone else.

“Very subtle Bones!” Jim’s voice suddenly rang in his ear, as the captain shouted over the hubbub, breaking the spell and reminding him that his relationship with Hope was actually still a secret.

McCoy quickly looked away, and straight into Kirk’s grinning face.

“Not sure, you’re actually still fooling anyone, but if you keep staring at her like that, you might as well make a ship-wide announcement,” the captain laughed, then smilingly shook his head when Scotty asked him to repeat what he’d just said, because he hadn’t been able to hear him over the din, as he called it.

The doctor snorted into his glass, then asked Scotty why he wasn’t on the dancefloor, only to be completely taken aback when the chief of engineering put down his glass, shrugged, and got up, heading straight over to Hope, asking her to dance.

McCoy felt annoyingly miffed, watching Scotty’s arms wrap around Hope’s waist, only to be immediately mollified when she grinned at him over the engineer’s shoulder, motioning for him to listen to the song, which was obviously another favourite of hers.

‘Making Love Out of Nothing at All’. Oh, yes, Hope could certainly do that. ‘I know just where to touch you’. God, had she just winked at him? Of course, she had, the little minx. And she knew exactly what she was doing to him.

Scotty’s stunt at dancing lasted only one song before one of his young ensigns from engineering took over, the music turning even slower.

The sound of ‘Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?’ filled the whole deck, sending thrilling shivers down McCoy’s spine, and he was helpless to keep his eyes from meeting Hope’s again. Gazing deeply into each other’s eyes, the doctor didn’t even mind when he saw the ensign pulling her closer. Not much, anyway.

‘Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness, ease my troubles, that’s what you do.’ He couldn't have put it better himself.

Thank you, Mr. Stewart, for writing a song about Hope and me, McCoy thought, feeling all soft and mellow inside.

Chekov took over from the other ensign, and the doctor saw a teasing smirk appear on Hope’s face as the first bars of the next song rang out, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she winked at him again. ‘Hey little girl is you daddy home?’ were the first words of the song, and he looked at her with mock irritation for poking fun at him like that. Really? Dancing with young Chekov to that song and teasing him about it? As if he weren’t feeling old enough already.

I sure am on fire, missy, McCoy thought, echoing the chorus of the song. And I’m so going to prove it to you tonight.

‘Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You’ was next, and as the song progressed, it seemed to him that Chekov was holding Hope just a tad too tight. And that kind of bothered him. A little. But the doctor found that he also felt a bit sorry for Chekov. It wasn’t his fault that he was so in love with Jenny. In fact, McCoy couldn't imagine anyone not being in love with her. Was the poor guy actually still hoping? Probably.

Hope threw the doctor a meaningful look when the next song started, urging him to listen to the lyrics of ‘I Want to Know What Love Is’. And he did. She knew him so well. Those were his exact feelings. A bit like the story of his life. A lonely life, in a way, despite all his friends, until he’d met her. There’d definitely been heartache and pain in his life, too. And now love had found him. Hope had found him.

Unable to contain his feelings any longer, McCoy got up and started towards the dancefloor. It was his turn to dance with her now. He needed to feel her close. And clearly seeing the infatuation on Chekov’s face, he was probably doing the young man a favour, too. Better bring him back to reality now, before he really had his heart broken.

The doctor knew that Hope had talked to Chekov about her feelings. Or non-feelings. And that she thought Pavel had understood and accepted the way things were between them. She just didn’t get that there was a huge gap between knowing and feeling. Only another man in love with her could really understand that giving up hope, or Hope, was simply impossible, and Chekov needed to be regularly reminded that he couldn't have her. Anything else would be cruel, even though Hope certainly didn’t mean to be.

However, just before McCoy could reach out to tap Chekov on the shoulder, this Michael Jackson guy and some other fellow started to sing ‘The Girl Is Mine’, stopping the doctor in his tracks, feeling ridiculous to claim Hope for exactly this dance. Looking at him from where she was still tightly ensconced in Chekov’s arms, Hope, of course, immediately caught on to his dilemma and started to giggle, just the sight of her happy, amused face instantly lifting his heart.

McCoy waited well into the next song, before finally taking over from Chekov. It hadn’t even been three hours since he’d last kissed Hope in his quarters, but it felt like an eternity to him. Talk about doing their own thing and not being joined at the hip. If he thought he could actually stay away from Hope for a serious amount of time, he was surely deceiving himself.

After she’d let go of Chekov, thanking him and turning towards McCoy, feeling her slide into his arms with such natural ease, made him feel as if he were floating. As if he’d been holding his breath for the longest time, and was finally able to breathe easy again.

‘Just the Way You Are’, another beautiful song. He certainly wouldn’t want Hope to change in any way. She was perfect. And what’s more, she loved him just the way he was, too. A fact that would never cease to amaze him.

“Billy Joel sure knows what he’s talking about,” Hope smiled, looking up at him and comfortably snuggling closer as they slowly moved to the music.

McCoy was suddenly feeling rather self-conscious. They’d never before been this kind of intimate in front of others, and he felt all eyes on them. Although he was probably just imagining it. But, almost drowning in Hope’s eyes, so beautiful, so full of love, he found that somehow, he didn’t even really care if they were the centre of attention.

The song morphed into another. ‘Can’t Fight This Feeling’. The doctor couldn't help chuckling to himself, when he found it another perfectly fitting song. Could this be coincidence? Spock of all people had volunteered to play DJ when Hope had announced that a DJ was absolutely necessary for this kind of party. Could Spock be doing this on purpose? To provoke him into something? Farfetched as it seemed, he wouldn’t put it past his Vulcan friend, who might be subtler than Jim, but was certainly no less of a meddler.

The next song was one McCoy knew well, and possibly Hope’s favourite country song of all times.

‘Amazed’, exactly what I am by her, the doctor thought lovingly, the familiar words seeming truer than ever. I couldn't express my feelings for her any better.

Unthinkingly, he pulled her even closer, moving like in a trance, completely losing himself in her. Everybody around them seemed to fade away, until it was just the two of them. Her head resting against his chest, her arms around his neck, he held her so tight, he was afraid he might squash her. Burying his face in her hair, eyes closed and breathing in her familiar scent, he thought he’d never wanted her more than he did at that very moment.

And just as he thought his heart would burst with love and desire, the first chords of another song he knew rang out. A classic, and definitely one of his own favourites. At least since he’d known Hope, who had performed it so many times. ‘To Make You Feel My Love’.

Hearing this song now, McCoy lost all sense of where he was, slowly moving, swaying to the rhythm, touching, inhaling, drinking in Hope, who was looking up at him now, her soulful eyes telling him how much she loved him, too. And before he knew what he was doing, just before the end of the song, his lips found hers to kiss her tenderly, hungrily, right there in front of everyone.

He heard people cheering and even applauding all around them. Of course, they’d only been waiting for him and Hope to ‘slip up’ and finally bring their relationship out into the open. And part of him registered joy at their crewmates’ obvious approval. But even if everyone were booing and hissing right now, he could never stop kissing her. Which she didn’t seem to mind at all. Matter of fact, she seemed just as eager as he was.

It was strange, they’d kissed a thousand times before, went to bed together every night and had done a million more intimate things already. And yet, McCoy was so used to being distant and acting respectably in public, this kiss almost felt like their first.

And to the sound of ‘Everything I Do, I Do It for You’, they just kept on swaying and kissing, and unabashedly showing their love for everyone to see. It felt great. More than that. It felt spectacular, and incredible, and amazing.

Oh yes, the doctor thought, gazing into Hope’s eyes and seeing right into her heart, Mr. Adams is absolutely right.

He’d do anything for Hope, give anything, including his life. Because there was no love like her love, nothing he wanted more, and certainly worth dying for. Because life without her had become unthinkable.

Playlist (chapter 52):

Gloria Gaynor – I Am What I Am

Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive

Gloria Gaynor – Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You

Air Supply – Making Love Out of Nothing at All

Rod Stewart – Have I Told You Lately

Bruce Springsteen – I’m on Fire

Glenn Medeiros – Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You

Foreigner – I Want to Know What Love Is

Michael Jackson / Paul McCartney – The Girl Is Mine

Billy Joel – Just the Way You Are

REO Speedwagon – Can’t Fight This Feeling

Lonestar – Amazed

Garth Brooks (Bob Dylan) – To Make You Feel My Love

Bryan Adams – (Everything I Do) I Do It for You

Chapter 53

Jenny thought all her Christmases had come at once. Safely ensconced in McCoy’s strong and tender arms, at liberty to show the whole world how much she loved him, she was dancing to some of her favourite music, which she hadn’t heard in ages, and had been convinced never to hear again. If this was cloud nine, she definitely wanted to stay. That Leonard had decided – or at least allowed himself – to kiss her like this in front of everyone had surprised her in the most pleasant and delightful way.

She knew, of course, that the doctor had tried to keep their relationship secret for her sake, and not because he felt ashamed of her or wasn’t committed enough. But she realised that, actually for some time now, she’d felt secure enough in her role as Starfleet officer and department head, had actually started to make a name for herself already on the Lexington, to not be afraid of being branded as Dr. McCoy’s little protégé anymore.

And just the thought of not having to sneak in and out of his quarters any longer, or to have to stop herself from seeking or giving comfort in front of others when the situation called for it, was liberating beyond words. For the first time ever, she could simply be herself on the Enterprise, without having to choose every word and consider every move carefully.

She’d hated the secrecy when it had all been about her past, and then again, when she couldn't openly show her feelings for the wonderful doctor. But now she just couldn't stop grinning. Her friends’ reaction was terrific. And heart-warming. They all seemed to be so happy for them. So supportive. She was incredibly blessed indeed.

The music was suddenly turned down for an announcement of an incoming transmission from Starfleet to Captain Kirk, and the captain quickly disappeared out the door to take the call in private. When he returned a few minutes later, there was a disgruntled and almost worried frown on his face, and Jenny wondered what the call might have been about. Leonard kept throwing Kirk concerned glances, too, but got no reaction from his friend, who just put his party smile back in place and motioned for everyone to continue enjoying themselves.

McCoy pulled her close again, drawing her into another passionate kiss as the next slow song started, only to end up giggling against each other’s lips when Sulu started a chant of “Get a room!”, prompting the doctor to grab her by the hand, pull her towards the exit, and slyly tell his cheering crewmates, “You know, we just might!”

Once outside, they made their way to the CMO’s quarters in record time, laughing and chortling all the way, and Jenny had never felt lighter. Or happier. Or more in love. As soon as the doors had slid shut behind them, they stumbled towards the bed, blindly fumbling with each other’s clothes, their lips firmly connected in a fervent kiss once again.

After having teased and flirted with Leonard all evening, Jenny couldn't wait to be at his – or have him at her – mercy again, but something wasn’t quite right. She could feel that his heart wasn’t in it as much as it should. He almost seemed distracted.

“Are you worried about the captain?” she asked, pausing in her endeavours to rid him of his clothes.

“Why?” McCoy shot back a little too quickly, and Jenny could see a flicker of guilt cross his face.

“Well, he did seem rather preoccupied after the call from Starfleet, don’t you think?” she continued gently, hoping to convey that she understood his concern and wasn’t mad at him for worrying about his friend when, by rights, he should really only be focusing on her.

“You’re right, love,” the doctor sighed, looking at her apologetically, “he seemed really tense.”

“Do you want to go talk to him?” Jenny suggested softly. “Maybe he could do with a friend now.”

McCoy searched her face for a long moment, obviously trying to gauge if she was being serious.

“You need me, too, love,” he finally said, his kind eyes travelling all over her body and back to her face. “After all, I’ve just made our relationship official without so much as discussing it with you first.”

“And we can celebrate later,” Jenny beamed, planting a chaste kiss on his lips, then laughed, “Oh, Leonard, don’t look so conscious-stricken! I have nothing to hide, everybody can know how much I love you. I’m actually glad they do now! But seriously, don’t neglect your duties as a friend. Go see the captain! Bring him some brandy, or whatever it is you usually do.”

When the doctor just kept looking doubtfully at her, she added, “Don’t worry! I have enough music to keep me entertained in the meantime. And I’ll still be here, waiting for you, when you come back. Promise!”

McCoy hesitated another moment, torn between what he wanted to do and what he knew he should do, then nodded reluctantly and started to readjust his clothes.

“You’re one remarkable lady, Jenny,” he murmured, pulling her in for a quick, but tight hug, before taking a few swift steps towards the door. “And you certainly never cease to amaze me. Your perceptiveness is second to none.”

-x-x-x-x-x-

Kirk’s eyes grew wide in surprise when he saw McCoy stepping into his quarters.

“What are you doing here, Bones? Something wrong? I thought you were having the night of your life!”

“I was,” the doctor admitted with a rueful little grin, plonking a bottle on Kirk’s desk and himself into the chair across from the captain. “But Jenny sent me on a mission, practically shoving the brandy into my hands. She thinks you might need someone to talk to, and, frankly, so do I. So, what’s eating you, Jim?”

“You really have an extraordinary woman there, Bones,” Kirk grinned, filling two small tumblers and settling back in his chair. “Are you not sometimes worried that she’s too good to be true?”

“More often than you think, Jim,” McCoy replied, raising an amused eyebrow. “But don’t change the subject! What’s bothering you? I’m here to listen!”

As it turned out, the call from Starfleet and the captain’s subsequent concerns were actually about Hope. Following his glowing report, Kirk had been asked to explain what she’d been doing on Iridis in the first place. And now he was hard-pressed to come up with a plausible explanation that would not put her career at risk.

“Don’t worry, Bones,” Jim smiled at this friend. “I’ll take care of it. I’ve dealt with those paper pushers so many times before, and I’ve always managed to find a way around silly rules and restrictions.”

The doctor, of course, knew that. Probably better than anyone. And he wasn’t worried at all. The captain would never allow anything to jeopardise Hope’s career. But McCoy couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something here.

“Actually, Jim, I don’t quite see what the problem is,” he pondered aloud. “Hope asked for leave, and you granted it. What’s there to explain? She did nothing wrong, and neither did you!”

Kirk opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth as he obviously tried to find the right words.

“Wait a minute,” it suddenly dawned on McCoy, “you didn’t tell them she asked for leave, did you? You’re not trying to save her career. What you’re trying to do is to somehow turn this into an official mission to ensure she gets the commendation she definitely deserves, right?”

The captain raised his glass at that, grinning sheepishly at his friend.

“Guilty as charged, Bones,” he smirked, and the doctor felt immense gratitude and fondness for Jim surging through him, as he realised that he was not the only one looking out for his beloved Hope.

-x-x-x-x-x-

When McCoy returned to his quarters, Jenny was taken aback to see him wordlessly make a beeline to where she was lounging on the bed engrossed in her music. His eyes dark and hungry, he seemed determined to pick up right where they’d left off earlier, deftly removing both their clothes and starting to kiss, touch and tease her in the most delicious ways before she even knew what was happening.

“No more excuses, love,” he almost growled, “I’ve been waiting to show you how ‘on fire’ I am far too long.”

Jenny didn’t even get the chance to process his words, Leonard’s skilled hands, lips and tongue instantly taking her to ecstatic heights. But just when she thought she’d reached paradise, he stopped, making her groan in frustration.

“Just getting even for your teasing me all evening,” he smirked, emerging from further down the bed and bringing his face close to hers, the tip of his nose sporting a tell-tale moist sheen. “One song, particularly, comes to mind. And to make it very clear, I’m not your daddy!”

“You’re not?” Jenny chuckled despite herself, feigning surprise and bashfully fluttering her eyelashes at him, but finding it increasingly difficult to flirt in her current state of burning desire.

“No,” Leonard growled, his voice even deeper this time. “Or would your daddy do this to you? Or this?”

“No, he certainly wouldn’t,” she moaned, all thoughts of Springsteen’s lyrics instantly pushed from her mind again, when the doctor finally ducked his head once more to finish what he’d so expertly started.

-x-x-x-x-x-

The next day, McCoy went to see Hope in her office. A luxury he hadn’t treated himself to very often before, for fear of being too obvious. Unlike her, who’d worked in sickbay for almost a year, and was still treated as one of the team, the doctor rarely had official business in linguistics.

In high spirits after their incredible evening and night, he revelled in the newfound freedom that officially being in a relationship with Hope afforded him.

Everybody knows, he thought happily, savouring the feeling, almost giddy with joy. Everybody knows that the most desirable woman in the whole galaxy is in love with me.

McCoy was only a few steps away from the linguistics department, when he saw Uhura sashaying out of the turbolift and disappearing straight into Hope’s office, seeming excited and in a hurry.

Not wanting to intrude, the doctor stood outside Hope’s office door and patiently waited for the women to finish whatever Uhura had come for. He honestly didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the communications officer’s strong and clear voice was hard to ignore.

“So, it’s official, you and the doctor are an item! And you never said a word!” Uhura practically squealed, sounding a little miffed about having been kept in the dark, but mostly thrilled for her friend.

“Well, we …” Hope began hesitantly, seeming unsure of how to explain herself.

“But then, you didn’t really have to,” Uhura cut in, chuckling delightedly.

“You mean you knew?” Hope asked, perplexed.

“No,” Uhura reassured her, “but, like everybody else, I strongly suspected. It was certainly no secret that you and the doctor cared for each other. Anyone could see that.”

“Okay…” Hope sounded uncharacteristically tight-lipped, very likely a little embarrassed that she’d been so oblivious.

Even though he’d always tried to be discreet, McCoy had long suspected that their relationship might be the worst kept secret on the Enterprise.

“Oh darling,” Uhura giggled, “you were so obvious. Everybody could see that the two of you were crazy in love almost from the moment you first came aboard. And I’m not talking about your return from the Lexington, but the actual ‘first time’.”

“Now wait a little,” Hope protested, “we didn’t even know ourselves until the day before I transferred!”

Uhura laughed out loud at that, and McCoy couldn't help secretly grinning with her.

“Oh my, you two are priceless!” she snorted, seeming unable to get a grip on herself.

“How could you tell?” Hope asked, and the doctor heard genuine curiosity in her voice.

“Hmmm, let’s see,” Uhura replied, pretending to think hard about it. “Your whole face lights up whenever the doctor’s name comes up? You’ve spent practically all of your free time together, and that – again – since you first came aboard? And then there’s the way he looks at you?”

“What way?” Hope wanted to know.

“Phew, how can I explain it?” Uhura sighed. “Just, somehow, so full of tenderness and admiration. Okay, make that completely smitten. We all know that Dr. McCoy is a very caring and compassionate doctor. But there’s caring, and then there’s, you know, love. You’re both wearing your hearts on your sleeves. I remember how devastated Chekov was, when he first suspected.”

“You mean Pavel knew, too?”

“But of course!”

McCoy groaned inwardly, remembering how Chekov had come to practically ask his permission to date Hope when she still had amnesia. For such a brilliant woman, Hope was really clueless sometimes.

“And he still kept dancing with me and being my friend?”

“Honey,” Uhura gave an exasperated sigh, “he’s always loved you. Still does. Even knowing that he can never be more than a friend. Or why do you think, he’s never had the same girlfriend for more than a week or so?”

There was a long silence as Hope apparently contemplated Uhura’s words.

“Don’t worry,” the communications officer continued. “Pavel likes and respects the doctor far too much to ever try to get between you. Not that he could, of course. He's known McCoy for years, and the doctor has saved his life more than once.”

“I wish Pavel would find someone nice, someone who’d really make him happy,” Hope sighed, and McCoy felt his heart melt at how she always wanted everyone to be happy.

“I’m sure we’ll find someone for him eventually,” Uhura smiled. “Anyway, I’m really happy for you and the doctor. You both deserve to be happy. Dr. McCoy is a really fine man. And you are the best friend I could wish for. You two are perfect for each other!”

“Oh, we are!” Hope exclaimed enthusiastically, and McCoy was just about to make his presence known, when she went on. “At least I hope so. I sure couldn't be happier. He's incredible, Nyota! The most wonderful man you can imagine. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I adore him. I could just lie in his arms forever, talking and ... stuff, and not get bored for a minute. But even when we don't have any time at all, because of some crisis or other, just a moment's glance or a fraction of a smile from him feels like being wrapped in the warmest embrace. I just need to know he's there, and everything will be all right.”

McCoy was deeply touched by Hope’s words. She’d told him all of that many times before, of course, but hearing her tell the same thing to her best friend was something else again. Proof that she really felt like this and didn’t just say it to please him.

“Now you're making me jealous,” Uhura said wistfully. “I want what you have. I wish the doctor had a brother. Or a son even.”

Uhura chuckled, then let out an astonished squeal, when Hope playfully shoved her.

“Oh stop it, Nyota! You're being gross!”

“Well, I like my men young. And that McCoy is quite a bit older than you is a fact.”

She was right, of course. The doctor heaved a quiet sigh.

“Really, you're as bad as Leonard,” Hope moaned.

“Does it bother him?” Uhura wanted to know.

“It used to. But, thankfully, not anymore. He's come to accept that I love him exactly the way he is. That he makes me happy in every way.”

“Every way? Oh please, do tell!” Uhura laughed, enjoying teasing her friend.

McCoy held his breath. Now, this was getting interesting.

“Oh, you're impossible!” Hope scolded her friend, then chuckled good-naturedly, “Yes, in every way. The rumours about Leonard and his ‘hands of a surgeon’ are definitely true, you know. And that's as much as you'll hear from me in this matter. Now go badger someone else, girlfriend. I've got work to do!”

The doctor had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud in surprise at that, and quickly stepped through the door into Hope’s office before he got to hear any further details about himself he definitely didn’t need to know, charmingly grinning at a startled and blushing Uhura, as she nearly bumped into him on her hasty way out.

“Leonard! What a nice surprise!” Hope greeted him over-brightly, looking a little flustered at his sudden appearance.

“Glad you think so! I’m certainly glad I came,” he replied, trying to keep a straight face as he waited for the doors to hiss shut behind him. Then he wrapped his arms around Hope, brushed a tender kiss on her lips, and whispered in her ear, “And I can’t wait to show you what this surgeon’s hands can really do.”

Chapter 54

Jenny woke up with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed, her heart racing, as the dream slowly faded away. The dream that kept torturing her. Some nights even more often than once. It was always the same dream. And yet, it wasn’t. Always the same people in it. Kids. Two boys. Although they looked different every time, so she couldn’t be totally sure. But something terrible always happened to them, some accident or illness. Sometimes they drowned, sometimes they fell off a cliff, or got shot or hit by something. Whatever tragedy befell them, the outcome was always the same: Jenny started awake, completely shaken and feeling a terrible loss.

Sammy, she thought, searching her mind and her heart for clues, any memories she might associate with that name. Like she’d done every night for the past week or so. And just like always, she came up with nothing. Yet, the name seemed strangely familiar. One of the kids they’d saved on Iridis had gone by that name. Or at least a very similar sounding Iridian one. And it had triggered something in her mind, although she couldn’t for the life of her fathom out what.

"Come here, love," Leonard’s drowsy voice broke into her thoughts, a gentle hand softly tugging at her shoulder and pulling her down into his loving arms.

He didn’t ask about the dream, knowing by now that she didn’t want to – couldn't – talk about it, just offering comfort, a safe place for her to go back to sleep, and she gratefully sank into his warm embrace, like she had for the past few nights. McCoy thought she was having nightmares from Iridis. And maybe he was right, perhaps she was. She was certainly happy to let him believe it was just that. Even though she had an inkling that there was more to it.

Snuggling closer into the doctor’s arms, Jenny promised herself to talk to him about it, if her nightmares hadn’t stopped by the end of the week. She loved him for being so patient with her. For letting her come to him, confide in him, in her own good time. Especially since, generally speaking, patience definitely wasn’t his strong suit.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell him what was bothering her. Matter of fact, she loved sharing everything with him. Well, except for sometimes, when she really didn’t want to worry him. But some things were just so hard to talk about, or rather, hard to put into words. To find the right words to even begin to describe or explain what she hardly understood herself.

Still, Leonard was always there for her, steadfastly offering comfort and support, no questions asked. Love, and warmth, and security. A safe place for her to work things out. Until she could talk about them. And when she was ready, she knew he’d listen like no one else could. Full of concern, eager to help, but entirely without doubting or judging her.

-x-x-x-x-x-

It had been almost two weeks now, McCoy thought, and during the day, Hope was cheerful and seemingly carefree as ever, visibly basking in the newly official status of their relationship. But Iridis still haunted her dreams, and there hadn’t been a night without her having at least one nightmare since. It wasn’t particularly surprising, of course. The experience wasn’t something you could just easily put behind you. He still had nightmares about it, too.

Hard as it was for him to watch her struggle every night, McCoy accepted that she didn’t want to talk about Iridis anymore. They’d done so extensively after their return, and he’d long established that Hope’s natural coping mechanism was to focus on the positive things in life rather than dwell on the negative. And that was all right, too. He supported that.

So he kept from asking any questions, when he found her sitting up in bed at night, trembling and breathing hard, and just pulled her into his arms, to comfort and soothe her, and to make her feel as safe as he could. It always worked. She was back asleep almost the moment his arms closed around her and her head came to rest on his chest.

The doctor wasn’t overly worried, though. Hope was a strong woman, and the dreams would fade over time. Besides, he was sure that she’d come and talk to him of her own accord, if she felt the need. If something was really bothering, worrying, or even scaring her. She’d done it before. All she needed was to feel his love and support, safe in the knowledge to have his caring, non-judgemental attention once she decided to confide in him.

Furthermore, McCoy couldn’t deny that he loved being there for Hope like that. Holding her safe, giving her all the tender touch and security she needed, never failed to fill his heart with joy and a sense of purpose he couldn’t even begin to describe. Or even really understand. Taking care of this extraordinary woman, whom he loved more than life itself, had become his raison d’être, his whole reason for living. And, strangely enough, the realisation didn’t even scare him anymore.

-x-x-x-x-x-

After Iridis, their relationship had slightly shifted. Even though he hadn’t been aware of it, had actually seen them as equal partners long before then, McCoy now felt a new level of admiration and respect for Hope. Part of her was still, and would always remain, the delicate girl he so desperately needed to protect and keep safe. But he’d never seen more clearly that she’d grown into a truly independent and strong woman. A partner he could always lean on, too. He was no longer afraid of breaking her, of needing her, of not always being the strong one.

What a wonderful team we are!

And now that their relationship was official, McCoy suddenly felt like asking her the big question, surprising himself a little there. It was like a deeply harboured yearning he’d never known he had. Truthfully, he’d thought he’d never even consider marriage again after his spectacular failure the first time. And Hope had certainly never given any hint that it might be important to her, or that she’d even be open to it in the first place.

Besides, everything was perfect between them as it was. There was no need to change anything. And yet, the doctor couldn’t shrug off this growing desire to be married to Hope, to call her his wife. Not because he wanted to make some old-fashioned claim, to ‘possess’ her. Just the idea of Hope being anything but her own, free, independent person was ridiculous. But because he felt the urge to somehow take their love to the next level, which was nigh impossible.

It couldn’t get any better or deeper or more perfect. But marriage would show the whole world their appreciation of each other, their wish to be together. Always and forever. And McCoy felt he really wanted the world to know just how happy he was with Hope. How perfect and wonderful he thought she was. He’d never had this urge before. Certainly not when he’d proposed to Jocelyn. Then, it had just been ‘the right thing to do’, the next logical step, what people - and most of all Jocelyn - expected.

He should have waited for the next shore leave, of course. Should have got a beautiful ring and taken Hope to a romantic place or some first-class restaurant for the occasion. But bearing in mind how quickly bad things could happen in space, the doctor didn’t think he could wait that long.

Hope didn’t need grand gestures, he knew her that well. She didn’t need a ridiculously expensive ring as proof of the depth and sincerity of his love for her. There wasn’t a ring valuable enough to reflect the strength of his love anyway, even if he could afford it. And her self-esteem certainly didn’t depend on swanky public displays of his affection. But he still wanted to propose to her in a romantic setting.

In the end, however, he just more of less blurted out the question when his heart was too full to contain it any longer.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Jenny and McCoy were having an intimate dinner in a secluded corner of the observation deck, and Leonard had been awfully fidgety all evening. Starfleet had issued a commendation praising them both for their exemplary work on Iridis, and the doctor had insisted on organising a celebratory dinner for them. Something special, he’d said, a little more glamorous than the mess, and with a nicer view.

“What’s the matter, Leonard?” Jenny asked, gently placing her hand on top of his, to stop him from restlessly drumming his fingers on the table. “Something’s really bothering you. What is it?”

Looking at him, as he nervously gazed at her from under his eyelashes, an almost shy smile playing around his lips, she couldn't help thinking how handsome he was. A fact he seemed to be completely oblivious of. She’d known him for a long time now, but there were still moments when his looks simply took her breath away.

She loved him for so many reasons. His kindness, his brilliance, his humour, the way he cared. About her and everyone else. For giving her this wonderful sense of security, of being cherished. And for the way he made her feel when he touched her, kissed her, made love to her. A lot of the time, she just took his good looks for granted. But sometimes, at moments like this, she’d look at him, and just get blown away by what a gorgeous man he was, feeling immensely proud to be the woman at his side.

“Jenny, I love you more than you’ll ever know,” McCoy began hesitantly, his eyes darting around restlessly, unable to hold her gaze. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I can’t imagine ever being without you again.”

He clasped her fingers, his hand untypically clammy and cold, and Jenny was growing uneasy. Was this the build-up for some bad news? But what about? His health? It didn’t even bear thinking about. Did he have to leave the Enterprise? Was he going to break up with her for some other reason? She felt her lips getting dry, and her heart hammering frantically against her chest. They’d been so happy!

“Will you marry me?”

The question came so unexpected, Jenny couldn't help the relieved laughter bubbling up inside her, unable to give this pivotal moment the dignity it deserved, and which Leonard had clearly meant to convey.

“Would you really want to?” she all but guffawed, flabbergasted. “I mean, I always thought you were done with marriage.”

The doctor’s face fell. This was clearly not the reaction he’d hoped for.

“Would I ask, if I wasn’t serious?” he retorted, his shoulders sagging, and suddenly looking lost and insecure in a way she’d never seen him before.

He’d tried to make this the perfect proposal, and she’d gone and ruined it, put the mother of all dampeners on this precious moment by questioning his sincerity.

When the enormity of the actual question finally struck home, Jenny jumped up from her chair, hurled herself around the table, and literally fell to her knees at Leonard’s feet. Grabbing his hand and putting it to her lips, she gazed up at the doctor through moist eyes, her heart bursting with a million wonderful emotions.

“Yes, Leonard, oh yes!” she beamed, feeling her eyes spill over with happy tears. “I’d love nothing more than to be your wife.”

Seeming rather overwhelmed by the situation himself, and quite obviously having a hard time processing that she’d just said yes, McCoy pulled her up and onto his lap, wrapping his arms so tightly around her she could hardly breathe, while drawing her into a kiss so intense, her limbs went all weak and started to feel like jelly.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Hope had said yes. McCoy could hardly believe it. After her initial reaction, he’d almost regretted asking her, suddenly feeling incredibly silly and ridiculous, afraid to have made a complete fool of himself. Or, even worse, to have put her in an awkward position. But now the world was a beautiful place again. A dream had come true. The most wonderful woman in the universe, the love of his life, had agreed to marry him. And she seemed really happy about it, too.

Unlike Jocelyn who’d probably been waiting for him to pop the question since their first date, craving the idea of being married to a soon-to-be doctor rather than actual life with him and all that his job entailed, Hope had been genuinely surprised.

No doubt about that, he couldn't help smiling to himself.

And yet, she’d said yes, wanting them to be together for the rest of their lives just as much as he did.

As if on cue, the sound of the bosun’s whistle could be heard across the observation deck, and a call came through, asking Dr. McCoy to report to sickbay.

The doctor was crestfallen. This was unbelievable! Couldn't he even propose in peace? But Hope just giggled as she quickly slid off his lap. Her eyes sparkling with amusement, she seemed to actually find this hilarious! Not a trace of disappointment or annoyance on her face, like any other woman would probably have felt at that moment. She really was something else.

McCoy jumped up and hit the comm on the wall closest to their table, only to learn that there had been an accident in engineering, and M’Benga needed him down in sickbay ASAP.

“Go, Leonard, and good luck!” Hope smiled, giving his arm a comforting squeeze. “This certainly makes the occasion even more memorable. I’ll stay here a little while longer, and if it gets too late, you’ll find your fiancée in your quarters.”

The doctor nodded resignedly, brushed a hurried kiss on her lips, and then raced off towards the nearest turbolift, his heart brimming over with love for this extraordinary woman. His fiancée. He rolled the word around in his mind for a moment, then shut out all private thoughts and emotions, switching to complete doctor mode before entering sickbay.

Chapter 55

Jenny’s heart was bursting with love and happiness. Unbelievably, she was engaged. To wonderful, kind, amazing Leonard. The renowned Dr. McCoy of Starfleet. Jenny was going to be a wife. Leonard’s wife. She honestly hadn’t seen that one coming, not in a million years, and she still had to get her head around it. But she had to admit that it felt terrific. Not least, because it seemed to mean so much to him. Probably the one thing that had surprised her most that evening.

After his countless snide remarks on the subject over the years, leaving no doubt about what he thought of marriage, or, more accurately, how much he’d been hurt by his first encounter with the institution, his proposal had certainly come completely out of the blue. How often had he claimed to be utterly unfit for relationships? Although, the way he’d always been there for her from the very beginning, long before theirs could actually have been called a relationship, even Leonard must have seen how wrong he’d been in his assessment.

To tell the truth, marriage had never been ranking particularly high on Jenny’s list of life goals. She’d never seen it as more than an inconsequential piece of paper, certainly nothing that said anything about the love two people held for each other, or the state of their relationship. A wedding might be an opportunity to have a big party, be the centre of attention for a day, if you liked that sort of thing. But it certainly didn’t provide any lasting security as far as love, loyalty, or fidelity were concerned.

No, marriage had never held the appeal for her it obviously held for so many others. And being with McCoy, and very happily so, she’d honestly never given it much thought. He’d been there, done that already, and she’d always been under the impression that once had been more than enough for him.

And that wasn’t even counting his short, and almost immediately annulled, marriage to Natira, which Leonard didn’t seem exactly proud of and had only briefly mentioned to her once. Apparently, the whole episode had been a bit of a blur for him, having found out about his terminal illness only days before, and feeling dizzy and rather out of it due to that very same illness.

Jenny’s heart ached just thinking about him being ill and scared and trying to deal with it all by himself, and she was eternally grateful to the High Priestess of Yonada for being there for Leonard and loving him at that difficult time.*

Natira must have been a very impressive woman, and Jenny was convinced that McCoy must have had real feelings for her, too – as real as they could be for someone you’d only just met, anyway – or he would never have agreed to marry her, not even in his dazed state. She knew him that well. But from what he’d told her, his main motivators for agreeing to stay and marry the priestess had been his longing to be loved and fear of dying lonely on the one hand, and it being the only way he saw to save Jim and Spock’s lives on the other hand.

Jenny had never asked him for details after that, sensing how embarrassed, and most of all guilty towards Natira, Leonard felt. She certainly didn’t want him to think he had to justify himself for anything in his past. Least of all to her.

Now, however, the doctor seemed positively eager to get married again. The thought crossed her mind that, maybe, he thought it was important to her? Knowing how he would do anything to make her happy, Jenny wouldn’t put it past him. She’d have to find out.

But she also had to admit that she was extremely flattered. And excited. Knowing that he loved and trusted her enough to overcome his mistrust of marriage, made her happy beyond words. Coming from Leonard, a proposal was certainly the greatest declaration of love she could think of. And he’d been so adorably nervous about it, too!

Jenny had been totally committed to McCoy since what felt like forever, wanting to be with him for the rest of her life, married or not, more than anything else. But now that she seriously thought about it, in a way that was hard to explain, the idea of them being husband and wife actually felt like the ultimate connection, an unbreakable bond. All of a sudden, as she’d already told him on the observation deck earlier, she found that she wanted nothing more than to be Leonard’s wife.

Allowing himself to love her like he did, had, of course, made McCoy vulnerable again way before he’d even thought of proposing. Jenny had long realised that and always seen it as the most precious gift, well aware of how much being emotionally vulnerable scared Leonard. It was undoubtedly the main reason why he’d made it his mission to get Spock to actively deal with his human half. To try and prepare him for emotional assault far worse than the doctor’s playful, affectionate jibes. Although few people, apart from Spock himself and maybe the captain and the bridge crew, seemed to get that. A subject that Christine seemed to be particular touchy about.

Jenny would never knowingly do anything to hurt Leonard, of course. He deserved nothing but unconditional love, loyalty and support in every way possible. Underneath his crusty shell, he was probably the softest, most easily hurt person she knew. Unnoticed by most people, and the doctor worked hard to keep it that way, McCoy took everything to heart. Jenny had lost count of the times she’d witnessed him going from confident and happy to insecure and defensive in the blink of an eye after a simple, careless remark of one of his friends. Or, sadly, sometimes even one of hers.

She knew only too well that with the power to make him happy, that she’d been blessed with, also came the power to destroy him. And she vowed then and there to make every effort to take even better care of his heart in the future, to always be considerate of his feelings, in her words as well as in her actions.

Love did make you vulnerable. It was an undeniable truth. But for Jenny, the wonderful side, the beauty of love would always outweigh the hurt it might cause. With Leonard, she even enjoyed being – or rather, making herself – vulnerable. Because, for some reason, she’d known from the start that her heart was safe with him. That he’d never hurt her, since that would break his own heart, too. And being able to drop her guard around him, not having to pretend to be more than she was, or stronger, or cleverer, made her feel safe in a way she couldn't even begin to explain.

It was fantastic to know that she could ask him anything, and not worry about coming across as dim, or naïve, or still overwhelmed by living in the 23rd century even after all this time. Leonard would always take her questions and insecurities seriously, delighting in explaining without being patronising. He might smile at some questions, which Jenny didn’t mind, often seeing the funny side herself, but it was always in a loving, benign and caring way, never to ridicule.

Come to think of it, everything they did, they seemed to do lovingly and respectfully. Even argue. But then, most of their disagreements arose from one of them trying to protect the other, however misguidedly, anyway. What better foundation to build a strong marriage on? Jenny couldn't think of anything she wanted more than to make McCoy the happiest husband ever. She’d have him smiling all day, every day. Get rid of that worried frown once and for all.

Go big or go home, she chuckled to herself, but then she’d always set her goals high.

There was certainly no greater, more fulfilling joy than being able to put one of those glowing smiles on Leonard’s face, the ones that always went straight to her heart, filling it with the warmest, fuzziest feelings and a rush of happiness she hadn’t known until she’d met her science-blue soulmate.

-x-x-x-x-x-

When McCoy returned to his quarters late that evening, still seething from having had ‘their moment’ interrupted so rudely while at the same time trying to comprehend that they were now actually engaged to be married, he found Hope curled up on the couch, still fully dressed and fast asleep. Of course, she’d wanted to wait up for him. She always did when he was dealing with an emergency, he thought fondly. But all those broken nights seemed to have taken it out of her.

Stopping to look at her familiar form, ‘her’ music still playing softly in the background, he felt all his exhaustion from the operation he’d just had to perform ebb away. Simply being in her presence always had this effect on him. Just like he always endeavoured to be her rock, her protector, Hope had become his safe haven, the calm and soothing centre of his rough and stormy universe.

For all I know, she might be an angel, he thought affectionately, and with her serene expression and her hair having come loose and curling softly around her face, she looked exactly as he would picture one.

McCoy still couldn’t quite grasp it. He’d asked her to marry him, and she’s said yes. Just like that! And now he felt on top of the world. How was he so lucky? Nothing had actually changed. And yet, everything had. Funny, how words could do that. Because, really, it had just been words. They were still the same people, still felt the same way about each other. He’d asked a question, she’d given an answer. So, why was he feeling happier than he ever had before? The human soul truly was a mystery.

Letting his eyes trail over her lovely features, so delicate in sleep, it suddenly hit him how much he wanted her to be family. To have a family. Maybe that was one of the reasons he wanted to marry her so badly? To actually give her a family again. To share his family with her. Because every time he thought about how alone in the world she was, it still hurt.

He needed Hope to feel that she was the single most important person in his life. That all his dreams and desires were about her. That she was constantly on his mind, wherever he was, whatever he was doing.

Looking back, McCoy realised that she’d practically taken up most of his thoughts since the day they’d met. He’d worried about her, been fascinated and entertained by her, had watched her at work, taking care of his patients, when she was dancing, or singing, or simply being Hope. Wonderful, lovely, brilliant, amazing Hope.

He’d fallen under her spell faster than he’d ever thought possible. In literally no time, his whole life had started to revolve around her, he’d opened up to her, exposed himself and made himself vulnerable like never before. And he didn’t regret a single minute. Hope had been worth every moment of doubt, or fear, or worry, or pain. Because he’d also been happier, more at ease with himself and at peace with the world, than he’d ever been before.

Wanting her to have a family again might be one of the reasons why he couldn't wait to marry her. But the main reason was certainly that he felt perfectly safe with her. Safe in her love, trusting her implicitly. Because, insecure as he’d always felt in previous relationships, he knew with staggering certainty that Hope would never knowingly hurt him.

Now, she was going to be his wife, and he was determined to make her the happiest wife there’d ever been. He knew she was happy and positive by default, and he’d always admired and envied that. But from now on, he’d make it his mission to make her feel loved, and cherished, and safe beyond anything she’d ever dreamed of.

And, feeling a thrill of excitement running through him, McCoy realised that with Hope, unlike with any other woman before her, he actually believed he could achieve that. Just the thought that he, of all people, had the power, and the chance, to give her all that, made his heart soar with joyful delight.

-x-x-x-x-x-

With all those warm thoughts filling his mind, McCoy crouched down next to the couch, gently whispered Hope’s name, and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. She was wide awake at the first touch, sitting up and groggily blinking her eyes to get rid of the sleepiness.

“How did it go?” she asked, a worried frown crossing her face.

“Everyone’s fine, love,” the doctor smiled, touched that this would always be her first concern, no matter how sleepy she was, or how caught up in her own problems.

He sat down beside her on the couch and pulled her into his arms, sighing contentedly as he felt her comfortably settling against him. Enjoying the warmth and the closeness, McCoy couldn't think of anything more relaxing than feeling Hope’s soft breath caressing his neck, as she snuggled ever closer, practically purring with contentment. He couldn't even remember how he had lived without her tender affections. And he sure as hell didn’t intend to ever go back to that cold and lonely place.

“I had the most incredible dream,” Hope said softly after a while.

“You did?” the doctor replied, curious, but not quite sure if she wanted to share anything else.

When she realised that he wasn’t going to ask, she smilingly volunteered, “I dreamed that the most handsome doctor in Starfleet asked me to marry him.”

“Really?” McCoy chuckled feigning surprise and trying not to let on how ridiculously flattered he was by her calling him handsome. “How forward of him!”

Hope giggled at that, and the delightful sound melted his heart just like it always did.

“And what was your answer?” he asked softly, feeling his heart beating faster, even though he already knew.

“I said yes, of course!” she beamed, not missing a beat and wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. “Yes, with all my heart!”

“You said yes,” McCoy repeated, reverently murmuring the words against her hair, his voice cracking a little as their significance hit him anew.

“I certainly did,” Hope confirmed once more, and he could virtually feel the joyful emotions rippling through her lithe body, as she lifted her sweet face to look at him, drawing him into the bottomless depths of her beautiful, dark eyes.

Pulling back a little, his breath hitching slightly in his chest, McCoy quietly asked, “Are you still sure, love? I mean we’ve talked a lot about how I feel about relationships and marriage, and I couldn't have been more wrong, as it turns out, of course, but you’ve never revealed your own opinion on marriage.”

“I’ve never been surer about anything in my life, Leonard,” Hope said emphatically, reaching up to smoothen out his worried frown with gentle fingers.

“Even though I’ll have to run off all the time?” he just had to make sure. “Hell, I couldn't even finish proposing without being called away!”

“Leonard, we’ve talked about this before,” Hope smiled indulgently, and he could tell that she was trying to be patient with him. “You should really know better than to ask this by now. But I’ll gladly tell you again. As often as you need to hear it.”

McCoy just tilted his head to the side, silently pleading with her to keep talking.

“Of course, I’m sure, Leonard!” she went on, sitting up straight and holding his gaze. “I know what it’s like to be with you. I’ve known that you’re a doctor, and all that entails, from the start. In your line of work, more often than not, time is of the essence. You’ll always be – have to be – a doctor first. And it doesn’t bother me in the least. Quite the contrary! I admire your devotion, I’m proud that you’re such a gifted healer, and I’m grateful for every life you’ve saved and are still going to save.”

Hope paused to plant a gentle kiss on McCoy’s lips.

“I want to support you in every way I can, Leonard,” she continued softly. “Just as I’d like to think that you will support me, when I need to put my work and career first, by the way.”

“Of course, I will, love,” the doctor was almost too choked up to reply, losing himself in Hope’s tender eyes once again.

“I’ve told you before, and I won’t stop telling you until you believe me,” she sighed. “You are the most caring and reliable person I know. And I love you the more for taking your responsibilities seriously. It’s what you do, who you are, and one of the reasons I love you so much. It’s why you’re my hero, why I look up to you, why I’ll always feel safe with you.”

Then she suddenly got very serious, looking at him intently, and her next words touched him to the core.

“But when, at times, you can’t perform a miracle, I want to be there to hold you, to comfort you and remind you that you did your best. Because that’s what you do. Your very best. Always. But even so – although I sometimes have my doubts – you’re still a doctor, not a magician.”

-x-x-x-x-x-

Jenny didn’t mind telling Leonard again and again how wonderful he was, and how much she loved and adored him. In fact, she’d be happy to go on about her feelings for him all day. But she really wished that he’d wake up one morning and just know how amazing he was. Gazing at his beloved face, glad to see the last traces of doubt disappear as her words sank in, she suddenly remembered something else she needed to tell him.

“I’m sorry I messed up your beautiful proposal,” she smiled ruefully, actually having meant to apologise just before McCoy had been called to sickbay. “You need to know that I wasn’t laughing at you or your words. It’s just that, with you being so nervous all evening, when you started to tell me how much you loved me, I couldn't help thinking you were trying to prepare me for some bad news. And then, when you asked the question, I was just giddy with relief. You have no idea how scared I was for you, for us, at that moment.”

The words had just poured out of her, but seeing the doctor listening attentively, a relieved smile spreading across his face, Jenny was glad that she’d brought it up. She couldn't let him go on believing that her first reaction to his proposal had been to laugh it off.

“You haven’t messed up anything, Jenny,” McCoy lovingly reassured her, tenderly brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face. “If anyone has, it was obviously me. I’m sorry I scared you. I’m not very good at proposing, I guess.”

“But you are!” she exclaimed, needing him to understand how unbelievably happy he’d made her. “It couldn't have been more perfect.”

“Actually, it could,” the doctor hung his head, “and it should. I meant to do this far more romantically, but my heart was threatening to spill over, I just couldn't wait any longer. I don’t even have a ring for you yet.”

McCoy chuckled sheepishly, visibly dissatisfied with the way his proposal had turned out.

“But Leonard, I already have a ring!” Jenny laughed, taking it off and placing it in his hand. “And the most beautiful one, too. You already knew that our love was for life when you bought it for me, didn’t you? And it helped me through so many difficulties and hard times, I’d never even want another. This ring is perfect! Your proposal was perfect! You are perfect!”

The doctor just looked at her for a moment, blinking back emotional tears, then slid off of the couch and went down on one knee, putting on a face so serious, Jenny had to bite her lip not to laugh again. He was just too sweet and adorable.

“Jennifer Hope, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” McCoy asked earnestly, tenderly taking her hand in his and gazing deeply into her eyes.

And when Jenny nodded a tearful yes, he gently slid the dolphin-shaped ring on her finger, got up again and pulled her into a kiss that told her exactly how happy she’d just made him.

A/N: *In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, and who Natira is, I’m referring to TOS s3e8 "For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky", in which McCoy is terminally ill with xenopolycythemia.

x-x-x-x-x-

Continue to: Chapters 56-60 Chapters 61-65 Chapters 66-70 Chapter 71

Go back to: Chapters 1-5 Chapters 6-10 Chapters 11-15 Chapters 16-20 Chapters 21-25 Chapters 26-30 Chapters 31-35 Chapters 36-40 Chapters 41-45 Chapters 46-50

Or read it on AO3: Another Life

************ Disclaimer: Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.

20 notes · View notes

johnsspacesuittight · 4 years

Text

I saw this post and knew I had to write a fic so here you go my first Kirk and Spock fic

Star Trek TOS

Spock pines for Kirk/kind of more turned into him being jealous of his new lady and because of him being gone for a while and realises some annoying human emotions are going on which leads to a lil (aka big) confession

Things had been different since the Captain’s recent disappearance. He had gone missing for 12 days and 11 hours, and, Spock pretended outwardly he didn’t remember this part, 23 minutes. It was just logical, counting the time when such an important person, it being that the Captain was indeed the Captain, went missing. However humans seemed to think it strange, think it personal, and Spock already got enough of them thinking him strange, so he didn’t mention it more than once.

The Captain had returned of course, alive and- well perhaps not well, but at least alive. As his second officer Spock had caught him as he stumbled with exhaustion, and though tired he had given Spock a thankful smile, a smile that even Spock could recognise he rarely gave just anyone. Though Spock received it on a regular basis. He supposed the Captain considered him a close friend, though Spock wasn’t sure how he would begin to return that understanding.

He had been taken to the med bay and Spock had resisted the need to stay until he was better, knowing he not only had a job to do, but that it was a strangely unnecessary sentiment that was highly illogical. Doctor McCoy was quite able to help regain the Captain’s health, Spock’s presence would do nothing but disturb. Yet he lingered outside the door just a bit longer than was normal.

This behaviour, that had kept entering Spock’s mind, only increased as time went on. It had been there every now and then when it came to the Captain, but rarely had it been disturbing. Now it had become just that, illogical thoughts and urges that to Spock’s comparison only seemed like something human. Something he was not.

In fact it got even worse when the Captain introduced the woman who had finally got him out of the situation. She had originally been part of another star ship, but at the Captain’s request had been transferred to the Enterprise. Spock’s logical side saw why, she was bright and capable and they needed another capable officer on the job. The Captain said they had worked very well together indeed, and that he needed people he knew to trust and could understand how they worked. All very logical reasons, and yet something about it bugged Spock. It made little sense, but as he continuously found her leaving the Captain’s quarters or whispering in his ears, things to which he would just respond with that smile, the one he so very rarely gave others, Spock felt a strange urge to be in her place.

That certainly made no sense, as even though Spock’s inexperience with human emotions kept him from understanding multiple things, his experience with the Captain told him that he was quite enjoying this woman. He often did, the Captain, but always said he had no time for them, as his job and his ship came first. Yet, he seemed to have time for this one, which was very illogical to Spock. And he convinced himself that was why he did not like it, even though parts of him seemed not to care that the Captain had shifted his focus from his job, but in fact that the Captain had shifted his focus from him. To which there was absolutely zero logical explanation. So, Spock did the logical thing, he went through all of his knowledge of human and vulcan behaviour, trying to place where all these thoughts and sentiments came from. Coming to the conclusion that there was indeed no logical or command related reason, and that what he was experiencing was some strange form of the human emotion jealousy.

He didn’t like to admit it, of course, as someone who’s focus remained on Vulcan ideals and ideas, he didn’t ever like to think that he could not reason himself out of his own human side. For it was there, and he knew it, though he rarely acknowledged it. He also knew, that the Captain, Jim, was indeed the only thing that ever made him embrace them, if he had to of course. He didn’t know how to call Jim a friend, or anything regarding sentiment, but he was not ignorant to it being there.

In fact, admitting it, took him several weeks, and when he finally did the next step was to attempt to reason with his own mind. Convincing himself that she was in no way taking his place, he was and would always be first officer, and there was no reason to think Jim’s closeness to her should change any of the things Spock appreciated about his connections to the Captain.

This however, only lead him to understand that this was not the reason for this strange human jealousy, in fact it had nothing to do with his postion of command or their work, it was entirely personal.

Spock had few things he considered personal, mostly because that often required emotions or sentiment, two things he very rarely let be part of his experience. However this time there had been no such choice, for no matter how much he attempted, there was no reason to it. Had it been work related that could be considered a somewhat logical reason for his jealousy, at least from a human perspective, but from a personal stand point? There was absolutely nothing to explain it. Yet, the moment he realized it was indeed personal, he knew why. The most common reason for human jealousy was, indeed, love.

Such a word was unheard of for Spock to even begin to consider. And yet his logical and wise mind saw no other explanation. The Captain had formed a love bond to this woman, and Spock had urges and needs to be in her stead. He wished to take her place, however of course, he knew that logically, there was no such option.

Therefore, Spock let it be, using the very slight Vulcan control he did have, to focus on his job rather than the Captain and his lady friend. He set aside his friendship, or whatever it was, hoping that he might escape this strange emotion that he saw no reason to have. Except he did. Jim was brilliant, quick, brave and kind. He was bold and daring, and it was only logical to see his glory. Very few did not admire him, and yet Spock knew that all these things were just him. Not all people saw Jim the way he did, and perhaps that was good. He wouldn’t be special if everyone loved him. He wouldn’t be the man he was if all saw him as perfect. Well, perfection was not a belief Spock held, and the Captain certainly wasn’t it, but he was indeed special.

Not only that, but he understood and respected Spock in a way few humans did. He only had to look a foot to the left at McCoy who struggled to understand Spock’s callous thoughts and decisions. Spock could only imagine his reaction if he knew now what Spock was thinking. McCoy would point a finger and say ‘hah!’ as Spock had somehow been overtaken by emotions finally. McCoy rarely had ill intent however, and Spock did not blame him, but he put human values highly, as a Doctor, kindness and care was part of his nature. It was his most important ideals, and Spock understood his struggle to see the opposite. Just as Spock often did as well. He didn’t like to admit being wrong or making mistakes, but as anyone, he did. But his belief was firm that emotions often made mistakes bigger and worse, more easily commited. He was proven right by his current struggle with emotions towards Jim, as it was very easily distracting.

He still did not say anything. Having emotions was one thing, admitting it out loud was another. It wasn’t until the new officer, Adler, the Captain’s lady friend had left for a few days by orders from command, that he finally did something. He entered the Captain’s room, without asking and was greeted with Jim changing his shirt. The Captain paused and glanced at him. «What is it Spock?» He asked, putting his new shirt on fully. Which had distracted Spock for just a second. «Am I needed?» He added, as he had gotten no response.

«No Captain, I am actually here for personal reasons.» Spock responded finally, and Jim looked at him with slight intrigue, raising an eyebrow.

«Personal reasons?» He reiterated, surprised at the choice of words. He motioned for Spock to have a seat, rather than stand by the door as he always did, and watched on in utter amazement as Spock actually did. He usually always stood stiffly despite the Captain’s attempts at making him feel more comfortable. Usually standing was how he did feel comfortable, but none of this was in Spock’s comfort zone so he responded not fully by choice to the Captain’s movement.

«I wanted to say, sir, that I missed you.» Despite his very informal acknowledgement, Spock could not help but address his superior properly.

«You missed me?» Jim yet again repeated the wording, his face spreading out into a slightly amused smile. The question also seemed to ask when, which was understandable, as it had been several months since the Captain had been missing. Everyone else seemed already to have forgotten. While Spock still attempted to ignore the 12 days, 11 hours and 23 minutes that were stuck to his mind.

«When you went missing, Captain.» Spock clarified and the Captain nodded, now taking a seat as well, opposite him. It had become clear to him now that this was only the beginning of a potentially long conversation.

«That is, quite good to hear.» He said and Spock tore his eyes away, avoiding the Captain’s gaze as he did not know well how to hold it without his entire exterior melting. «Why tell me now?» He asked, though Spock supposed he knew the answer.

«Sentiments are not exactly, my forté.» Spock responded, and Jim nodded, having now confirmed this was certainly a longer and more complicated conversation than they usually had.

«I see.» He begun. «But you felt it important to tell me despite it?» He asked, and Spock did not correct him on the use of the word ‘felt’. It was accurate, and though his Vulcan pride was getting more and more bruised with every word. His enjoyment of correctness kept him from following usual patterns.

«Yes, Captain.» He said and Jim smiled again, still slightly amused.

«You may call me Jim, I think the conversation calls for it.» He said, putting into words what they had both figured out about the current situation.

«Yes, Jim.» Spock repeated, not unable to hide just the slightest twist of his lip into something that would be considered akin to a smile.

«I assume there’s a reason you waited for Adler’s leave?» Jim then asked and Spock frowned just a slight, not fully understanding how he could already pick that out of the so few words shared. Yet he nodded.

«I wanted to be sure we would not be disturbed.» He said and Jim smiled, still with a very amused expression, and it seemed to Spock he somehow knew exactly what the conversation was about already. Which Spock found to be strange.

«Disturbed? Hmm, I believe I could have asked Miss Adler to leave us alone on any occasion, don’t you think?» Jim said and Spock became aware that he most certainly knew more than he had said with words.

«Well, I-… I needed you alone. And you have rarely been seen without her recently.» Spock said only stating facts, and Jim’s amused smile grew into a grin.

«Do I detect just a slight of jealousy Mr Spock?» He asked and Spock gave him a hard stare, not enjoying this slight mockery on Jim’s part, and yet it caught him off guard, because it was indeed correct. And he did attempt to be correct.

«Well, I- yes.» He said and Jim seemed just a slight taken aback at this direct response. As if being direct was not one of Spock’s best used qualities.

«Really? How long have you been feeling that way?» Jim had turned just a slight more serious, as if Spock’s complete directness had made him realize there might be even more than he was expecting to the conversation.

«Since you returned. I attempted all my Vulcan methods to banish the emotion but I realized for once I had no power to.» Spock said and Jim looked at him intently and then surprised Spock by moving closer, even more so it surprised him somewhat that he did not mind.

«I don’t think you have ever admitted to experiencing an emotion to me.» He said, quite wonderingly, taken with emotion of his own it seemed.

«There is no one else I would ever have been able to do so to either.» Spock said and Jim’s expression changed. It softened further, into that way that Spock had been wishing to be looked at for months. The thing that seemed so foolish, but now that it finally happened changed something detrimental within him and his expression softened as well.

«What are you saying Spock?» Jim asked and did something that Spock could never have expected. He moved his hand, placing it on Spock’s thigh, somewhat protectively and warmly. Spock did not mind this either, though his long gone logical senses told him he should. In fact, he enjoyed it.

«I- I don’t know if I have the words to express it, but the most common reason for jealousy, especially of this kind is-» Jim cut him off.

«Love.» He said. And Spock just nodded. Feeling in some way a release from it. He was there, with Jim, alone and everything had been understood. Every ridiculous human emotion that he had wished gone, and then come to accept. They were all just out in the world now. Jim knew them all.

«Do you love me? Have you been jealous because-… because you wanted something more? Because she was getting more of me?» All the questions came tumbling out of him, all the once Spock knew he could perfectly well answer himself, and yet could not believe to be true.

«Yes.» Spock said. «Yes Jim I- love you.» The last two words were a fight to get out, but once he had he knew he could have repeated them a million times without problem. He had spoken the truth and he never wanted to go back. In some ways he did not care about the fact that emotions weren’t even supposed to be a good thing for him. All of a sudden the experience was, it was so good that it was almost painful. He knew then and there that he loved Jim so much that he didn’t even know where to begin to express it.

Jim’s face was a mix of shock and joy. He was looking at Spock that way that he rarely looked at anyone else, and now he could see not even Adler made his eyes just as sparkly and bright as they were when they looked at Spock. Or maybe that was the light, which made logical sense, but the moment was far from logical, so Spock put that thought aside.

«Well I- I don’t know how I am supposed to respond to that.» Jim said, kind of ripping up the whole thing, as Spock realised he may not have felt the same. Everything was telling him so, but logic had no place here, and Spock then knew nothing about anything.

«I’m sorry, I realize- you and Adler-» Spock begun but Jim waved his hand, shushing him.

«No- no forget about Adler, Spock, anyone with eyes can see that I feel the same.» He started. «I just- I had never thought it could be more than that. I was doomed to a one-sided relationship when I became your friend and I accepted it, and when it became more I- I knew that it could never be that for you so I looked for other things.» He looked at Spock still with those eyes that no one else had, and Spock did the only thing he could figure to do. He moved forward and kissed his Captain. Jim froze, and then he kissed him back, not hesitating even a bit.

When they let go both were a bit flushed, it was sort of strange, because neither of them had ever been able to imagine this scenario, and yet both had wanted it.

«I love you too Spock, and I will definitely need some time to wrap my head around being able to say that.» Jim said, smiling, the smirky one that he always did, but better, more happy. And Spock knew that it had indeed all been there for longer than he understood. But when Spock had started to realise things had become different, he could have never imagined exactly how different.

#probably quite ooc cause i don’t imagine that happening but i like love shut up #star trek #spirk #captain kirk #mr spock #kirk x spock #star trek tos #or whatever that’s all i’ve seen so #fan fic

16 notes · View notes

jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets · 5 years

Text

Lost in Translation - Ch 11

Title: Lost in Translation

Fandom: Star Trek

Pairing: Mckirk

Rating: lemon

Tags: minor character death, hurt, little bit of self destruction, stranded, smut

Summary:

“Attention citizens. This is the crew of the Enterprise asking for your aid. On Stardate 2264.78 a shuttle manned by our captain and fourteen cadets was ambushed by an unknown source and chased out of sight of our ship and into open space. Those cadets as well as our captain, James Tiberius Kirk, are still missing. We are asking anyone with any information on their whereabouts, or regarding the attack, to please contact the Enterprise immediately. Our family would appreciate any assistance you can give.”

AO3 Link

Masterlist

A/N: So this turned into a little treat for y’all! There is definitely a very nice scene in this chapter *wiggles eyebrows* (i guess you could call it... smut) Now, that’s not at all how I originally intended for this chapter to go, but I started writing it, and things happened, and I couldn’t stop them from happening, so I just went with the flow and I liked it! So, yeah, please enjoy! ALSO!!!!!! I owe this entire chapter to my dear friend and Boo @goingknowherewastaken She helped me plan out this entire chapter because shes freaking awesome! So if y’all haven checked her out already, you should!! <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 11

As Len rested his head on Jim's chest, still listening to the constant thrum of his heart, the padd he had abandoned on the bedside table chimed at him. Slowly he lifted his head off of Jim and grabbed the padd.

The next log on the screen was flashing, waiting for Len to play it. This time it was one of Jim's.

He found himself slightly hesitant this time. He wanted to know what had happened, to hear the rest of Jim's logs, and Spock had insisted that there was a reason, something at the end that would make everything fall into place and finally make sense. But it still broke his heart straight to the core that the only way he could hear Jim's voice right now was through his logs. He wanted to hear Jim's real voice, speaking to him face to face, but Jim was still showing no signs of waking up.

With a heavy sigh he forced himself to open the next log, sitting back with the padd in one hand and Jim's hand in the other as it started to play.

“Hey, Bones,” Len closed his eyes at the sound. By this point Jim had been on the planet for at least twenty days now, alone and walking across the empty desert. Len had lost track of the exact date in the logs since Jim had stopped adding stardates to his entries. But what really got Len at this point was the change in Jim's voice. Surely he was malnourished, dehydrated, and in pain from his injuries, but there was almost a distance in Jim's voice now. Almost as if he was starting to lose himself to the planet, to the empty desert, to the loneliness. Delirium was what Len would diagnose, at least the early onset of it. He shook his head trying to push the thought of Jim going crazy alone in the desert out of his mind as it played on, “I was thinking about you today, about how worried you must be by now, and probably scared and I'm sorry for that, Bones. But there was one time you really scared the hell out of me. You were missing and I was running my ass all over campus looking for you, but also… something happened that day and I… I don’t know if you remember, you were pretty drunk that night. But if I do die here, Bones, I want you to know what happened, and that I don’t necessarily regret it, but I wish it had happened under different circumstances. But, do you remember that time I had to peel your ass out of the bar… you probably don’t but I wish you did. You were so drunk you probably don’t even know what happened, you might not even remember getting from the bar back to our room. But, Bones, what happened when we got home… I wish I could have told you, but I was afraid. You were drunk and I wasn’t sure if your reaction was true or if it was because of the alcohol, and if it was I didn’t want to ruin us, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But I wish I could have told you how bad I wanted it to be true, Bones, when I had the chance, but I guess if you ever find this comm… now you'll know…”

~~~~~~~~~~~

To say that Jim was worried was the understatement of the year. He was horrified, scared as hell, and on the verge of panic attack number four of the day. He had woke up that morning to find Len gone from their room. His side of the bed was empty and cold, proving he had been gone for a while before Jim woke up, with no note or explanation as to why he had left.

Normally, Jim wouldn’t have been so worried, but it was a rare day. They both had a Wednesday off, the entire day. No classes, no work, just the entire day for themselves, and they had planned out the whole day together. Sleep in, get a late brunch together at the diner in town they both loved, Len had wanted a walk on the beach in the afternoon, a movie after dinner, and Jim had asked if they could lay in the grass at the park that night and watch the stars together.

It was a whole day of just being together, they had both been so excited for the day to come, and now Len was nowhere to be found. It was around eight in the morning when Jim woke up to find him gone, and it was now nearing ten at night. Jim had been from one side of campus to the other, he had asked everyone he could possibly think of that might know of Len’s whereabouts but no one seemed to have any information. He was about to call in a missing persons report when his phone vibrated in his pocket, and he quickly pulled it out to see if it was Len finally returning the fifty voicemails and countless texts he had sent him.

“Bones?!” he had answered the phone so fast he hadn’t even looked at the caller ID.

“Jim,” Jim deflated at the voice on the line, it wasn’t Len's, “hey, it’s Anthony.”

“Hey, man, look,” he sighed, starting up at a run again through campus, “I’d love to talk but now’s not really a good time, I-”

“That’s why I'm calling,” Jim slowed down just slightly to listen better, “heard you were looking for McCoy?”

“I am.”

“I’ve got him here,” Jim released a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding, “unfortunately I didn’t see him on time before he managed to pump himself full of almost two full bottles of bourbon, so he's practically hanging off my bar, but he's here and I’ll keep him here until you can come get him if you want.”

“Yeah!” Jim started up again at a full run, “Make sure he doesn’t move, I'm on my way!”

~~~~~~~~~~

About fifteen minutes later Jim burst through the doors to the bar. It was quiet tonight, exams were in this week so most students were at home studying, save for the few who were just here for a good time. Looking around he instantly spotted Len at the bar, hanging off of it and looking an absolute mess just as Anthony had said.

A glance to the side had Jim looking at the large bar owner, standing in front of Len on the other side of the bar. Jim wasn’t all too happy that Len was very obviously drunk off his ass, but the pure flow of relief that coursed through him when he finally laid eyes on Len was the best feeling he had ever felt in his life.

When Jim reached the bar, Anthony nodded at him before saying, “Sorry, Jim. I tried to get him to down some water but he won’t have it.”

Jim looked down to Len as he just groaned, then back up to Anthony, “I don’t know which one of my employees allowed him to consume this much alcohol, but believe me when I find them, and I will, they’ll be lucky if I don’t hang their ass by the flagpole in the middle of campus. I'm sorry, man.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jim gave the man a small smile, “I'm just glad he's somewhat alright, or in my sights at least. Thanks for keeping him here.”

“No problem,” Anthony held a hand across the bar for Jim to shake, then gave a nod and said, “I’ll give you two some space,” and walked away.

When Anthony was at the other end of the bar, Jim took up the stool next to Len and sat down with a hand on his back. “Bones, what's going on?”

Len just groaned, his head still buried in his arms on the bar.

“Can’t help you if you don’t talk to me, and you know I'm not gunna stop nagging you until you do,” he gave a slight smirk when Len squirmed beside him, “so you can take your pick, easy way or the hard way.”

Slowly, Len forced himself to sit up straight, well, as straight as he could for as drunk as he was. He turned a scrunched face on Jim, more then likely fighting a raging headache.

Jim grabbed the glass of water that Anthony had tried to give him earlier and forced it into Len's hand, “Drink the whole thing, Bones.”

He did, all in one go, and when he was finished Jim motioned to Anthony for another, forcing that one into his hand as well. “Alright, now tell me what's going on.”

Len took a moment and ran a hand down his face, then reached a hand inside his jacket and handed Jim a folded up envelope. Jim took it, watching Len with worried eyes as he did, and pulled the papers out taking a minute to read them before responding with a deflated sigh, “I'm sorry, Bones.”

“I don’t know what her problem is,” he choked out, “it’s not like I was a bad father.”

“I'm sure you weren’t.”

“I worked extra hours so that we had extra money, so we could give Joanna everything she needed and would ever need,” he shook his head, staring straight ahead as he continued his venting, “and yeah, I know… I know I wasn’t home all the time, but I tried, Jim. I really did. I even tried to make it work with Jocelyn. We both knew long before Joanna came along that we should never have been together, but I tried to make it work for the baby, and she threw everything away, not me. She ruined my life.”

Jim winced at those words, looking away for a moment then turning back. “You can’t think about it that way, Bones. I know things went south for a while after she kicked you out but you got your life back on track. You’ve got a great career ahead of you with Starfleet, you're the head of the medbay at the academy, a few years away from graduating and then you and me will be in space, together, exploring and discovering new things! You have a great life ahead of you, Bones, you can’t look back at the past and let it run your life anymore.”

“Jim, I'm a mess,” he stated firmly, “an absolute, goddamn mess, who obviously can’t keep a handle on it for very long. Says so right in the papers you're holding.”

Jim lifted the papers in front of him and waved them furiously before throwing them on the counter, “These papers are a load of crap, Bones, send them back!”

“I can’t,” he pushed the papers away from him as if they were some kind of plague, “Jocelyn wants to finalize the custody arrangement, that meaning I never get to see Joanna again.”

“Fight it!” Jim leaned in towards Len, “She can’t keep you from your own flesh and blood.”

“I’ve tried,” he replied, sounding more defeated then Jim had ever heard him sound, even at his lowest, “and apparently she can. Because of my track record when she kicked me out, before I got into the academy and straightened out, she's been granted full custody of Joanna. And with the best lawyers this side of the planet, I have no choice.”

Jim sighed with a shake of his head, “I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.”

“Yeah well, guess I had it coming,” he shrugged, “I was obviously a terrible husband, a crappy father, and shit at everything else. I'm only good for screwing things up.”

“Bull!” Jim slammed a fist on the counter making Len turn to look him dead in the eyes, “I would bet my life that you would be the best husband in the world, a fantastic father… an excellent lover. It’s not your fault that this time it was with the wrong person.” Jim hesitantly lifted a hand to Len's face, stroking his thumb across his cheek, and he was sure he heard Len's breath hitch as he did, “Jocelyn doesn’t know what she let go.”

The two of them just stared at each other for a moment, Jim continuing to caress his cheek, and Len not knowing what to do or say. Before the moment could get much more heated, Len turned his attention to the papers on the counter, holding them in his hand.

“I sign these papers, Jim…” he closed his eyes, “I’ve got nothing left.”

Jim nodded, turning away from Len to stare down at the counter and whispered, “You’ve got me.”

Len whipped his head around to Jim, the sodden expression on his face pulling at every heart string he had, “Jim, I didn’t meant it like that, I just-”

Jim lifted his head and turned to Len with a smile, “I know. I just wanted to make sure you knew you weren’t alone, and you never will be again, not as long as I'm around. I promise.”

Those words hit Len like a brick wall. Even when Jocelyn had said her vows, ‘till death do us part’, he knew it was a lie. He knew she wouldn’t be around long, he knew they were never meant to be together and yet he still went through with it. But with Jim… it was different, it had always been different. Right from the start he knew Jim was here to stay, and so was he. He knew that nothing in the world, or the universe could ever tear them apart, but hearing Jim say it out loud, to promise him that when he already knew it was true, meant more to Len then he would ever be able to express in words.

Losing all control over his body, Len leaned into Jim slowly, making sure he had enough time to back out if he wanted to. But he didn’t, in fact Len was sure Jim was leaning in too. If they both wanted this, then why had they waited so goddamn long? It could have been the alcohol talking, but despite his current drunken state, Len still knew he wanted this, he wanted Jim… always had.

He was inches away from his face, he could feel Jim's breath on his lips, their noses touching ever so slightly. He was almost there, almost touching, almost kissing Jim.

He rested a hand on Jim's thigh and was ready to close the gap and make the leap, when his stomach suddenly rolled and betrayed him and before he could kiss Jim, he found himself bending over and completely emptying the contents of his stomach onto Jim's shoes.

Jim groaned throwing his head back in frustration. Not at the fact that Len had just ruined his shoes, but at the fact that it seemed every time they were that close, something happened to completely ruin the moment. Damn it, he was almost there. But maybe it was for the better, Len was obviously not at his best right now and Jim had to concentrate on taking care of him first.

He lifted Len from where he had his head rested on Jim's knee and hooked his arm around his shoulder. As he lifted Len off the seat and began walking with him out of the bar he threw an apologetic look at Anthony, “Sorry, man.”

He merely waved him off saying, “Don’t worry about it, we’ve had much worse. You just make sure you take care of the good doctor.”

Jim gave him a nod in thanks and began the slow trek back across campus to their building.

Half way there Len groaned and laid his head on Jim's shoulder as they continued to stagger across the grounds, “Can’t we just take a cab back?”

Jim chuckled, “Nope. Consider this punishment for ruining my best pair of shoes and making me worry about you all day. And the fresh air will do you good, wake your drunk ass up a little.”

He groaned into Jim's shoulder again as they kept walking.

It took Jim about twice the time it would normally take to get Len home and finally plop him on the couch with a tired sigh of relief. He left him there for a moment to grab him another glass of water and some pain meds for his headache, placing both in his hands before sitting himself on the couch beside him. A quick glance at the clock told Jim it was well past two in the morning already, and he rubbed his tired eyes.

“Jim…”

“Yeah, Bones?” he turned towards his friend who seemed a bit better already. He was sitting up straight and his eyes seemed to finally have some life to them again.

“I… thanks,” he blushed a little in embarrassment, “you didn’t have to do that for me.”

“Of course I did,” he gave Len a stern look, “I told you, I will always be here for you, Bones, no matter what that means. Even if that’s dragging your ass home from the bar at two in the morning, I'm here.”

“You shouldn’t have to be, I'm a grown ass man, I should know better.”

“It’s not exactly your fault. If I got the same letter you got I'm sure I would have also ran to the bar to drink it dry, so I don’t blame you for losing yourself for a while,” he said softly, then turned on Len with a bit of anger in his voice, “but that being said, do not ever do that to me again, Leonard McCoy!” Len flinched at the use of his full name coming out of Jim's mouth, he had never called him anything other then Bones, “I wake up and you're gone?! No note, no message of any kind, not answering calls or texts, no one on campus knows where you are. I thought the worst, Bones! I nearly had a heart attack, and I did, just so you know, have several full blown panic attacks because I couldn’t find you. I was so worried that you were hurt or missing, who knows what could have happened. You scared the absolute hell out of me, Bones, don’t do it again!”

Len had the decency to turn away sheepishly, “Sorry, Jim.”

“You should be,” then he sighed and gave Len a tired smile, “but its okay. You're safe and home with me now, so just next time wake me up or leave a note. Just let me know you're okay.”

‘Safe and home with me’. Len let those words roll around in his mind for a while. He was safe with Jim, and home… home had always been with Jim, where ever he was that’s where Len wanted to be. Jim was his home. It took him far too damn long to figure that out, but there was nothing in his life he knew to be truer then that.

“You know, you were right, Jim,” Jim hummed in response, too tired to do much else, “I wasn’t with the right person, and that’s why it all fell apart. But maybe… maybe the right person was always closer then I thought, right in front of me all along.”

Jim turned tired, almost closed eyes on Len in question, “What do you mean?”

Len watched him for a minute, his eyes going between Jim's own and his lips, and in a rushed decision he whispered, “To hell with Jocelyn,” and before Jim could give any sign of protest he did what he had wanted to do for a long time and closed the gap. He finally kissed Jim.

It was nothing more then a firm press of lips on lips. It lasted mere seconds before Len was pulling back, searching Jim's wide eyes for something, anything, some kind of indication as to whether or not he had crossed an unwanted line. But there was nothing, Jim just remained seated beside him on the couch in… shock?

Len reached out a hand to touch Jim's cheek, to apologize for what he had just done and maybe he could blame it on the alcohol, but before he could say anything Jim leapt forwards and took Len's mouth.

This time the kiss wasn’t so one sided, it was more then Len had ever hoped for in his first time kissing Jim. It was intense, breathtaking, and almost hungry in the way Jim pushed against him begging for more contact. Len pushed back, giving Jim what he wanted and kept pushing until Jim was on his back on the couch with Len on top. Jim sucked Len's bottom lip into his mouth and nipped at it as he opened his legs to let Len settle between them.

There was no tongue, but the two continued to move their lips together in perfect sync. Jim's hands held Len's face close to his, and Len's hands snuck down Jim's body to the edge of his shirt, lifting it up to touch and caress the warm skin there. At the feel of Len's hands on him, Jim bucked up into Len, grinding them together sending pleasure screaming through their bodies. Jim gasped into Len's mouth at the feeling and Len moaned in response, laying his head against Jim's. “Oh, Jim,” he moaned again when Jim bucked once more.

They continued their heated rhythm, sucking on each others lips and Jim bucking and grinding up against Len. After one last kiss, breaking off with a smack, Len trailed his lips down to Jim's neck and began sucking there. Jim's eyes rolled back in his head as he wrapped his arms around Len's neck, weaving his fingers in Len's hair in a tight grip. Between Len sucking on the base of his neck and the friction of their now hard cocks rubbing together through their clothes, Jim was sure he wasn’t going to last much longer. One particularly hard thrust from Len had Jim nearly screaming his name as he tightened his hold on him moaning out a long, “Bones!” before Len's body fell completely against his and stopped moving.

Jim was breathless, his chest heaving and his body shaking, but Len had suddenly stopped everything. His hands were still where they remained pushed up his shirt against his chest, his lips were rested against his neck but no longer sucking on that sweet spot, and his body seemed heavier on his then it did a second ago.

Jim tried to push against Len but he was solid on top of him, and he managed to choke out a breathy, “Bones?” before he heard a soft snore come from the man on top of him.

He had fallen asleep. In the heated throws of their moment, when Jim finally thought he was getting everything that he had wanted and that Len was just as eager for it as he was, he fell asleep.

Jim plopped his head back against the arm rest of the couch with a thud, “You're kidding me…” he sighed.

Maybe this wasn’t the right moment after all. He had been right back in the bar. Len clearly wasn’t himself right now, and he almost felt guilty about taking advantage of his drunken state. This could have ended way worse then it did.

He took a few minutes to calm himself down and catch his breath, before mustering his strength and pushing Len up with him. The man was out cold and didn’t even flinch when Jim stood and carried him bridal across the living room and placed him gently in bed.

He ran a quick shower and hopped in so he could take care of his… current problem, and when he was finished and cleaned off, he changed and hopped into bed beside Len as he did every night. He pulled the blankets up over them both and settled in. He wasn’t surprised when Len turned over in his sleep and wrapped an arm and a leg over Jim and pulled him into his chest. He was tucked right against Len with his head against his chest, his favourite spot to be in the whole world, and how they fell asleep most nights now. But tonight was a little different, it was a little more hopeful after what had happened on the couch.

Len was definitely drunk, but maybe Jim could talk to him about it tomorrow, maybe he would remember something, maybe it wasn’t all an alcohol induced decision. Whatever the case, Jim decided he would cross that bridge tomorrow. Make the choice then whether or not he would talk to Len about what happened.

With that thought pushed aside, he took one last look up at Len's sleeping face and leaned up to place a soft kiss against his lips. To Jim's surprise Len's body responded and pulled him even closer and kissed back just the slightest. When he pulled back and Len's eyes remained closed he smiled and whispered a sweet, “Good night, Bones,” and laid his head back on Len's chest and fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun broke through a crack in the curtains on the window by Len's bed and hit him smack in the face. He covered his eyes with a groan, rolling over in the bed to try and hide his face from the light since he already had the world’s worst headache pounding against his skull. But when he rolled over expecting to roll into Jim's familiar warmth, he found nothing but empty space. Confused, he opened his eyes and confirmed that Jim was gone, and a quick look through the open bedroom door confirmed that he wasn’t in the suite at all.

Len rolled onto his back with an arm over his aching eyes and thought back on the night before. He had kissed Jim, and then Jim had kissed him back. It was hands down the most passionate and breathtaking moment of Len's life and he would give anything to be back in that moment.

He continued through the memory, of pushing Jim back, laying against his chest, roaming his hands over his skin, the kissing, the sucking, the grinding, the pleasure. Did… did Jim actually want this as much as he did, or was that some kind of heat of the moment thing? A part of him wanted to know, wanted to know if Jim really felt that way, the way he seemed to feel last night when he was grinding up into him and moaning in his ear. But did he really want to risk losing Jim only to find out that he was wrong? Maybe he should just wait and see if Jim brought it up. Maybe that was the safest option and he decided that’s how he would play it for now.

The thought only made his headache worse, and so he rolled out of bed to grab more pain meds from the kitchen, but he didn’t have to go far. When he swung his legs over the bed to get himself up, he noticed that Jim had left him a glass of water and meds on the nightstand, but there was also a folded piece of paper leaning against the glass with “Bones” scribbled in Jim's messy writing on the front.

He grabbed the meds and took them both in one go, then grabbed the paper and opened it.

“Bones,

I had to go to an early exam, but I’ll be back around eleven. I just wanted to make sure that this information got to you before you woke up and signed those ridiculous papers. After you passed out last night and I managed to get you in bed, I couldn’t sleep much so I made some calls. This is the number of an old friend of mine, we used to be neighbours in Iowa. His name is Rami Ramesky, and he's a big time family lawyer based out of L.A. I told him your situation last night and he said he would be more then willing to help you out.

He had mentioned that since we would be going into space in a few short years, it wouldn’t make much sense to completely refute the custody arrangement, since its not like you can have weekends and certain holidays with Joanna while we are light years away, but he did come up with a plan. He wants to suggest that an open line of communication is always available between you and Joanna, anytime, and upon docking for shore leave you would have full access to unsupervised visits with Joanna including any holidays we are docked for, since Jocelyn would have Joanna for the entire time we are in space.

I know I may have overstepped a bit but… please call him, Bones. I don’t want to see you kept away from your daughter because of your ex-wife’s unreasonable demands, and I know Rami can help you win this. He's a great lawyer, Bones, I looked him up. He's won ninety percent of all of his cases, and I wouldn’t be recommending him to you if I thought he would only disappoint you.

Please call him, Bones.

Love, Jim”

Bones couldn’t help but smile as he read over the note once more. The fact that Jim had gone out of his way to make sure Len had a second chance at his daughter was beyond anything anyone had ever done for Len in his life, and only solidified his love for Jim that much more. And of course Jim hadn’t overstepped, he never could in Len's eyes, and he was glad he had Jim by his side no matter what.

With a new found determination and a slight swelling in his heart, Len crossed the room and went directly for the computer and called the number at the bottom of the page.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“After that night I was too afraid to bring it up.” Jim's voice came choked through the padd, and Len could feel tears welling in his eyes, stinging, “Now that I'm here, I wish I had though. I was never really sure if what happened that night between us was because you were drunk, or if it was something you actually wanted. But you should know, I wanted it, Bones, so bad.”

Len closed his eyes trying to will the tears away as Jim went on, “And I figured that since you never brought it up after that night, you didn’t remember. So I thought it was because you were drunk after all, and that you never really felt that way about me, so I let it go. Figured if I could still have you as a friend it was better then losing you to a misunderstanding. But you should know, that was the best moment of my life. And looking back now I think maybe we did both hold some feelings for each other, and I wish that we hadn’t wasted all this time dancing around our fears. So, Bones, if I don’t make it back just know, from day one it was always you…”

By the time the log ended Len was fighting with all his might to hold back the sobs he could feel stuck in his throat. He took a moment before he spoke, not quite trusting his voice, then with a shaky breath he looked to Jim, “Oh kid, I definitely remember that night with you, and hell if we aren’t both the biggest idiots in the whole damn universe,” he closed his eyes and shook his head, “of course I felt the same way about you, but like you, I was never sure if you felt that way about me. And you're right, looking back now, we were fools not to say anything and I regret not telling you that I remembered every second of that night.”

He ran his thumb across Jim's fingers before continuing, “I wish I would have told you, but I was so afraid I would lose you, just like you were afraid to lose me, Jim-” he had to turn away for a moment to compose himself before turning back, “damn it, Jim, all the time we’ve wasted, we could have been together like we should have been, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

The wait was killing Len. Going through these logs and hearing Jim's confessions while he was still lying in bed in a coma, where Len could talk but Jim couldn’t hear him. He wanted Jim to wake up so he could tell him everything he should have said years and years ago. Len squeezed his hand and took a shuttering breath, “Everything good in my life has happened because of you, Jim. I stayed in Starfleet because of you, graduated because of you, I am where I am today because of you, and Joanna,” he lifted a hand up to wipe the tear sliding down his cheek, “because of you I was able to keep in contact with my daughter. That lawyer you recommended did exactly what you said he would and I was able to have open communication with her up here, and you sat beside me during every single hearing until we won the case. Without you, Jim, I would have just signed those papers, so you see how bad I need you, kid?”

Len leaned back in his chair, pulling Jim's hand into his lap, “Maybe when we get back, and I take you to Georgia, we’ll pick up Joanna. And the three of us can spend some time together, you can finally meet her. I’ve told her all about you, she always asks about you, but I think its time you two met.” Len nodded to himself, “When we get to Georgia, Jim, when we get home, I… I want us to be a family. You, me, Joanna, the three of us. Now I just need you to wake up so I can tell you all this, so we can actually do that, so please Jim… just wake up.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Soooooo, yeah! That’s that! Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter and if anyone wants to be tagged in the future let me know! Tags: @goingknowherewastaken @medicatemedrmccoy @weresilver-in-space @resistance-is-futile81 @flaminglupine @0dannyphantom0 @bi-e-ne @haveyouseenmymind @jimboy-mccoy @reading-in-moonlight

7 notes · View notes

haveyouseenmymind · 6 years

Text

Boop!

The origin of this fic is to be set in a conversation I had with @medicatemedrmccoy a few months ago, so I’m blaming her for this and I’d also like to dedicate it to her. Sorry sweetheart that it took me so long. ;)

This may be tagged as Kirk x Reader, but the interactions are mostly between the Reader and Bones, so you mainly have to deal with friendly bickering and them being annoyed.

Fandom: Star Trek AOS

Pairing: Jim Kirk x Reader

Rating: Gen

Warning: the usual cursing

Words: 2335

Jim kinda gets drugged up on some alien food and now Bones and the Reader have to deal with him, which ends in trying to find him on the Enterprise.

“Unbelievable. Of course that stupid infant would get himself drugged up on some alien food, though I told him to scan everything before stuffing his mouth. And now I have to deal with this inebriated pain in the ass. Dammit, I’m a doctor not a babysitter.”

With your arms crossed in front of your chest, you were impatiently tapping your foot and throwing annoyed glances at the ranting doctor who held the whirring tricorder over your madly giggling boyfriend. Said nuisance apparently didn’t want to hold still as he was occupied with trying to grab Leonard’s nose, but so far he was failing gloriously.

The away mission had gone a bit differently than intended. Though the aliens Jim was negotiating with were really nice and this was one of the rather rare peaceful missions, it didn’t go as smoothly as everyone was hoping for.

Proof for that was the Captain, currently not in his right mind, draped all over the biobed while his best friend was checking his vitals and more than once slapping those hands away that were trying to get close to his face.

Like the doctor had said, Jim hadn’t dealt well with one of the alien dishes served, so that after the big banquet they had hosted in honor of their new growing friendship with the Federation, he had to be dragged away by you and Cupcake, who really tried to hold his laughter back, before the Captain had the chance to offend their hosts with his kinda drunk rambling.

Thankfully the aliens were really understandable when Spock excused his Captain and explained them that he did not feel well and had to retreat.

After that you and Cupcake took the loopy man straight to Medbay to the CMO.

Where said doctor wouldn’t stop complaining and acting like the worst drama queen ever. As if Jim being a wasted little shit was his problem alone.

Which was the reason you were really pissed at both men and still tapping your foot.

“Well if you could just shut up for one second? That would be really nice. If I may remember you, this is my boyfriend you’re talking about, so stop acting like you’re the only one suffering, when you know that I’m the one who has to deal with him like that all night and tomorrow in the morning.”

Leonard threw an evil glance back at you and kept on grouching.

“Yeah but so far I can’t see him sticking his dirty fingers into your face.”

“Boop!”

Jim had reached his goal and tapped his friend rather ungently on the nose.

“God dammit Jim, would you just stop that bullshit!”

The doctor, even more annoyed now, tried his best to wrangle the drunk Captain back down on the bed.

But of course Jim, still giggling like the loveable idiot he was, had other ideas than his friend.

Once again he reached for his face, but this time he groped the doctor’s nose instead of just booping it. He looked mighty satisfied when he got it between his thumb and pointer.

“Oooh, Bonsey look! Got your nose!”

Suddenly, the room was completely silent, and Leonard had gone still. Shit, that was no good sign.

While Jim was holding onto the brunet’s nose for his dear life, refusing to let go, the doctor turned his head towards you, trying to stare you down with his most threatening glare.

“Get that out of my Medbay, now!”

You tried your best not to laugh, as that would surely make the situation even worse, but it was really hard not to lose your shit, with the brunet trying to give you orders with a really nasal voice. It was just too hilarious.

“Aww, come on Leonard. Wouldn’t it be best if he slept this off here, where he’s just one second away from a hypospray?”

Finally, he got Jim’s hands away from his face, as he grabbed both wrists and held them down on the bed.

Jim tried his best to free himself out of the firm grip, but no squirming and whining made the agitated doctor let go of his hands.

“No way I’m going to let that menace stay here. I made sure that he’s not going to die and now he’s your problem.”

You sighed, cause this was clearly not how you had expected this to turn out.

“Traitor.”

Meanwhile, Jim had stopped moving. His breath had evened out and his eyes were closed, so Leonard felt safe enough to let go of him, though you thought it was odd for your boyfriend to fall asleep that fast, but who knew, maybe he was just that out of it.

Leonard led you away from the biobed where Jim was resting upon, to turn the conversation away from him and make sure you wouldn’t wake him up.

“I don’t think a hypo will help any further. He’s just drunk, so let him sleep it out in his own bed.”

You stared disbelievingly at him, not quite sure if you had heard right.

“Holy shit, I’ll be damned. I never thought I’d witness the day where Leonard McCoy would voluntarily refrain from hypoing Jim Kirk’s ass. I think I have to mark that day in my calendar. Are you sure that you’re not the one who’s drunk and out of his mind?”

Leonard just scowled at you, apparently he was done dealing with you or his best friend for the rest of this day.

“Dammit, just leave and take that pain in the ass with you. I have enough other shit to take care of. “

Well, it would be better to leave of right here and now. So you turned back to the bed.

Which was empty.

Jim was gone and his comm being left back was the only sign that he had been there at all.

Great, exactly what you needed. The Captain getting lost on his own ship.

The doctor wasn’t happy with Jim vanishing either.

“What the hell? Where the fuck did that menace make off now?! God dammit, can’t I just have one calm day with peace and silence?”

Instead of answering him you just groaned. How the fuck were you supposed to find him? He could have gotten to who knows where, and since he wasn’t in his right mind at the moment, he was unpredictable, too.

The brunet turned around, heading for his office, but not before giving you one last smug glance.

“Well, that’s not my problem any longer. Have fun finding that idiot.”

But before he could take one more step, you grabbed his arm, so that he nearly stumbled.

“Oh no, forget it, Leonard! This is all your fault! If you just had him strapped down onto that biobed, we all would have to worry about one less thing! So you’re coming with me!”

“How is this my fault now? If you just had watched out for what your idiotic boyfriend was up to, none of this would have happened at all!”

Damn, this bickering had to stop, or you couldn’t be held responsible for anything else that would happen. So you took one deep breath, trying to calm down.

“Ok, let’s agree that we disagree and don’t waste our energy with arguing. I’d prefer if we’d concentrate on finding that moron.”

The brunet just snorted, which didn’t help at all.

“This is the first valid thing you’ve said this day so far.”

“Oh shut up, Len.”

+++

In hopes of finding your missing boyfriend faster, you and Leonard had split up. While you headed for yours and Jim’s quarters, Leonard grumbingly went for his own, swearing to maim his friend if he’d find him there and his hidden stash of the good bourbon suddenly gone.

But your quarters were empty, and there was no sign that any of its inhabitants had been there recently.

Searching the mess hall and the observation decks had also been for naught, except that now you knew that Jim was a master at playing hide and seek.

You nearly wanted to give up and call it a day, when you’re comm suddenly beeped:

Did you find him? L.H.M

No luck so far. You? Y.N.

No. What places did we miss? L.H.M.

Uhm… The bridge? Y.N.

Fucking hell… Ok, let's meet there. L.H.M.

+++

About ten minutes later you stepped out of the turbo lift and onto the bridge, where Sulu, currently sitting in the Captain’s chair, looked up from his PADD, frowning as he spotted you.

“Lieutenant Y/L/N? Doctor McCoy? Is everything alright? Did something happen to the Captain?”

The rest of the crew manning the bridge stared at you expectantly, Chekov’s eyes wide and so worried that you needed to play it cool and reassure them, before all hell would break loose.

“Oh no, everything’s fine. Just peachy. I just have a rhetorical question. If you had to search for the Captain, where would you look for him, apart from his quarters, the observation decks and the mess hall?”

“And medbay, the training rooms and the labs.”, Leonard added.

“Yeah. Those, too. But you know, just rhetorically.”

Sulu looked at you sceptically.

“Are you saying that you lost the Captain? Aboard the ship?”

“No! We’re just having a slight disagreement about his current whereabouts!”

The pilot’s expression changed, and this time he was clearly mocking you.

“Which means you have no idea where he is. Have you tried asking the computer to locate him?”

You saw Leonard’s left eye twitch, and had the suspicion that he was preparing himself to launch into one of his angry rants, for which you absolutely had no time now, so you clasped your hand, right as he opened his mouth, over it and answered instead.

“That’s not an option, otherwise we would have tried.”

Thankfully, Chekov interrupted the stagnating discussion, at least he was the only decent human being left and trying to help you by making useful suggestions.

“Have you been down at engineering? Sometimes he’s helping Scotty fix things when he needs a distraction.”

Engineering, of course. You nearly slapped yourself, when you realized what idiots you had been.

“Thank you Pavel, we’re gonna look there for him next. Come on, grumpy pants!”

You grabbed Leonard on the collar of his shirt before he had a chance to complain, dragging him behind you as you were making your way to Scotty’s office.

+++

Down in engineering everything seemed to be pretty calm, which was a small miracle. Normally there was always one or more of the engineers meddling with who knows what parts of the ship, most times added with a cheerily rambling Scot.

“Scotty?”

Several minutes passed before you heard an answer, and just as you wanted to call for him again, he whooshed out of his office.

“Shhh! You’re going to wake up the Captain!”

“So Jim is here? Thank god!”

You followed him back into his office, Leonard who hadn’t said anything yet, close on your heels. But when you finally saw Jim, you did a double take.

“What the hell?”

Jim was sitting at the desk, his head resting on his arms crossed right under it and next to him a box that apparently was filled with metal junk, and you realized that he still was holding onto some of it with his right hand.

Leonard looked at the mischievously grinning engineer, clearly surprised but also amused about the scene in front of him.

“How the hell did you do that? Seriously, you need to tell me your secret.”

And Scotty? He just laughed, grabbed his PADD to show the brunet something.

“I just gave him the box and he tired himself out over fiddling with some of my spare parts. Lets see, I got it all on my PADD, no way I could let you guys miss this out.”

Curious, you stepped right to his other side, looking at the PADD in his hands just in time to see Jim’s joyful expression, as Scotty presented him the scrap metal.

“Hey Jimmy, here is a box of shiny trinkets, knock yourself out.”

Jim, looking like he just got an early Christmas present, started squealing excitedly.

“Oooh, so shinyy!”

You watched as he was fiddling around with the metal, his eyelids slowly dropping when he got too tired after a while. Finally his head dropped down on his arms, and a few seconds later, he was out like a light.

It even got better when he started drooling on his shirt sleeves.

This was honest too good so adorable, you just couldn’t stay mad at Jim any longer, when he looked so young and innocent while snoring slightly in his sleep.

“Ok, come on guys we need to get him into a bed. Len, how about some help here?”

But the doctor was still captivated by the PADD, and as Scotty started the video anew, he was grinning madly.

“Scotty, if you get me that video, I’ll give you one free pass the next time something stupid happens down here. This is too good to be not used for blackmailing.”

“Deal!”

Were those idiots even for real? You send one last evil glare into their direction, before you decided to wake up Jim and get him back to your quarters.

“Hey Jim, wakey wakey.”

The blond groaned, but opened his eyes obediently.

“Noo, five more minutes…”

You couldn’t hold back a giggle, which made Jim realize who was waking him up.

“Y/N? I’m cold… Wanna cuddle... ”

“Come on Jimmy, lets get you to bed, there’s enough space for lots of cuddles.”

While Leonard and Scotty were still leaning over the the Scotsman's PADD you were annoyed, since instead of helping you out, they decided to ignore you completely.

Well, they would regret that later.

And with that you draped your boyfriend’s arm over your neck and tried supporting his still wobbly legs while dragging him off to your quarters.

tags: @thevalesofanduin @medicatemedrmccoy @toosouthernforspace @reading-in-moonlight @feelmyroarrrr @0dannyphantom0 @eyeofdionysus @bsotstory @neon-green-bra @loststarlight

If anybody else wants to be added to or removed from my tag list, or has special wishes for being tagged, just let me know. :)

#star trek aos #jim kirk x reader #james t. kirk x reader #james t. kirk #reader insert

96 notes · View notes

thesoftdumbass · 6 years

Text

Together

McKirk

Tia’s Birthday Challenge

A/N: This ended up differently than I expected when I started out, but I’m still pretty proud of it. It’s got sort of a Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagement vibe to it, which I didn’t realize until I was already halfway through writing it haha.

A big Happy Birthday to the amazing, the wonderful, @captainsbabysitter-blog who is hosting this challenge. You’re fantastic and we’re all lucky to have you on our blogs and in our lives 💜💜💜

Word Count: 3.1K

Characters: Jim Kirk, Leonard McCoy, Winona Kirk, Nyota Uhura, mentions of: Spock, John Harrison (Khan), Marla McGivers

Summary: Jim Kirk is a prince, ready to ascend the throne, but before he does so he has to choose a spouse and get married, too bad he’s not interested in any of the people chosen for him. When Jim gets sick and a handsome doctor, Leonard, makes a house call, he thinks his luck may have changed.

masterlist

Winona Kirk looks across the breakfast table at her son James. He refused to meet her eyes or even speak, other than exchange pleasantries with the staff. The blonde woman lets out a long sigh, putting down her cup of coffee. “Will you please talk to me, son?”

Blue eyes flash up with a hardness in them. “What would you like me to say, Mother? I think I’ve expressed my feelings enough on the matter.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, James. It is the law that you have to be married before you can take over the throne.”

“Can’t you change the law? You are the Queen, after all,” James huffs.

“It takes the votes of all of parliament to change, believe me, I tried, but those old men are too set in their ways. They won’t change unless they believe there is a logical reason for it.”

“What about my happiness? What about the fact that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life ruling beside somebody that I barely know? Or how about setting a bad example for our people by settling for less, doing something that I don’t believe in, and lying about my personal feelings? Are those logical reasons enough?” James’ voice getting quieter by the end of his small tirade, emotion thick in his throat at the thought of being stuck with a stranger for the rest of his life.

Winona’s eyes soften and she speaks gently, but loud enough for him to hear. “I know, Jimmy. I’m sorry about that. I know what it feels like to marry a person that you barely know, just to keep your rightful position.”

Jim looks up from where he’s picking at his eggs, confusion on his face as he recalls the few memories he has of his parents together. “I thought you loved Dad?”

“Yes, eventually. At first we didn’t know what we were doing. We got along well enough, and that turned into a friendship, and from there…” Winona trails off as she thinks back on her relationship with George, her eyes glossy.

A deep sigh escapes Jim’s mouth, “I’m sorry, Mom. I’ve been acting like a spoiled child and that isn’t fair to you.”

“It’s alright, son. I haven’t talked about it much, how could you have known?”

The rest of breakfast passed quietly, the subject of conversation staying far from the subject of the argument. The peaceful morning couldn’t last forever though, as today several prospective spouses were arriving. James would have to get to know them, spending hours upon hours with them doing mindless activities, all the while wishing he were far away.

The candidates seemed elegant, nothing too disagreeable about them at first impressions, but Jim wasn’t immediately interested. Maybe the three women and two men were too many to meet at once, maybe they just weren’t that engaging, or maybe Jim was just avoiding making a connection with one of them subconsciously out of pettiness. After all, if he couldn’t find a spouse, he wouldn’t have to get married, right?

Luncheon followed behind an afternoon of walking the gardens outside the palace and taking a tour to view the artwork in the corridors, and after that James was finally given a few moments of peace to read to himself. Sitting in a large chair in a corner of the library, Jim was skimming through an old book that he’s read a half dozen times when he started feeling unwell. Thinking that it may just be exhaustion from a stressful day, Jim made his way to his room and laid down for a nap.

Hours later there is a knocking on his chamber door that goes completely ignored. It takes energy to get out of bed and answer the door, and Jim just does not have any. A few moments later there is a hand on his forehead, Jim barely opening his eyes to find Queen Winona gazing at him with concern.

“When you said you weren’t feeling well I just thought you were trying to get out of this evening’s dinner, but it seems you’re coming down with something.” Jim erupts into a bout of coughs and looks up at his mother pitifully, his throat too sore to speak. “Oh sweetie, it’s okay. I’ll get a doctor to come and see you.”

“Thank you, mom,” is barely croaked out before Winona leaves the room, going to make a call to a physician.

Jim is still asleep a couple hours later when somebody else enters his room, the light clicking on and disturbing his sleep. When a hand checks his forehead he expects it to be his mom again, but the hand is much larger and warmer than Winona’s, making Jim open his eyes in curiosity. Who he finds looking back at him is not his mother as expected, but a man sitting on the edge of his bed.

It’s not somebody that he’s seen before, James can be certain of that. He would have remembered the dark hair, tan skin, and wide shoulders. Not to mention the dimple that shows on the side of his face when one corner of his mouth lifts in a smile.

“Hi,” Jim croaks when he feels he’s observed this man enough to be slightly creepy.

“Hello Prince James, my name is Leonard McCoy. I’m a doctor, I’m here to help you.”

Coughs make their way from Jim’s chest and Leonard opens up his bag, taking out a stethoscope and putting the headset where it belongs. “Can I check that out for you?” A nod is all he gets in return before he’s helping Jim sit up in bed and listening to his lungs.

Doctor McCoy does an examination and asks a lot of questions before finally reaching a conclusion. “It looks like you’ve got the flu, kid. I can give you something to help with the symptoms, but you’ve basically just gotta let the infection run its course.” Leonard gives a dose of medication and makes sure that Jim is comfortable.

“Thank you, doctor,” Jim was able to get out, his voice cooperating with him a little better now.

“You’re welcome. I’m going to update your mom on the situation, I’ll check back in on you after a while.”

When Jim wakes back up a little while later he feels about the same, the medication starting to work. He is able to sit up in bed, the body aches easing off slightly. Jim pushes his back against the headboard of his bed and looks around his room, trying to discern what time, or even day it is. Judging by the darkness outside the window it is late, and Jim has slept since late afternoon but he feels exhaustion in the way he can barely keep his eyes open.

Still studying his surroundings, Jim’s eyes land on the large armchair in the corner of his room that seems to be inhabited. Sitting in the reading chair is Leonard, the handsome doctor from earlier. If he knows that Jim is awake he hasn’t said anything about it, simply reading through what looks like a medical journal under the light of a lamp.

“Hey,” Jim says, getting his attention.

Leonard looks up, slight surprise showing in his eyes when he finds Jim attentive and sitting up in bed. “Hey. How are you feeling, Prince James?”

“I’m alright, and call me Jim. Everybody around here does.”

He got a smile and nod in return before Leonard started to check his temperature, among other things, making sure that he wasn’t getting any worse. Len is writing some numbers down in a notebook when Jim speaks again, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over the room.

“This probably sounds dumb, but this flu couldn’t have come at a better time.”

He gets a confused smile in return. “I won’t pretend to know what you’re talking about, kid.”

“Long story short; I have to get married before I can be coronated. There are five candidates staying here at the palace. I’m supposed to choose one of them to marry so my mother can retire, only none of them are even remotely interesting to me. Honestly I wouldn’t care about being King, it’s just that Mom is tired of ruling, and my brother Sam refuses to lead.” Jim shakes his head and sighs when he realizes that he’s just unloaded too much onto a man that is practically a stranger. “Sorry about that, sometimes I talk too much.”

“Don’t sweat it, Jim, I can understand how that would be frustrating.” A few moments pass as Leonard sits on the edge of the bed. “So can you only get married to one of these five people,” he asks curiously.

“No, it can be anybody I guess, as long as they don’t have anything brought against them. Warrants for arrest, incredible debt, things like that,” Jim shrugs.

“So, student debt from medical school that’s almost paid off, would that count against someone?”

Is he flirting with me? Jim thinks to himself when Leonard smiles and shows his dimples off. And then, he is flirting with me when a beautiful hazel eye winks at him from just a foot away. Jim’s face warms and his cheeks are pink before he can help it.

Before Jim can think up a clever response to that, his bedroom door is opening and his mother is walking in.

“Mom! Hey, what are you doing in here,” Jim yelps just a little too quickly, his blush getting that much darker.

“Can’t I come check on my son?” She chuckles. “You were asleep last time I was in here, I’m glad to see that you’re looking better. Although you do look a little flushed, does he have a fever?” Her question is aimed at Leonard and he shakes his head, a small amused smile on his face.

“No fever, I just checked his temperature. The medicine is doing its job and helping to reduce his symptoms.”

“That’s perfect! That means you’ll be able to continue with your scheduled events for tomorrow. The Duke, John Harrison was asking over you at dinner, you know.”

An image of the man’s cold eyes and pompous smirk flashed through Jim’s mind and he shivered at the man’s stony attitude. Leonard picked up on this and decided to drop him a line.

“Actually, Your Majesty, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Jim may seem better but he’s not yet, the virus is still in his system. It will take at least four days for him to get better altogether.”

The queen huffed not so subtly and bid goodnight to her son before leaving the room, an unhappy expression apparent on her face.

It was hard for him to hold in his laughs at the look on his mother’s face but he managed, at least until the door closed behind her. Leonard chuckled along, his voice deep and sunny at the same time. His amusement doesn’t last long however, as soon Jim is groaning in pain.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Leonard is already checking him over for what could be wrong, concern evident in his voice.

“Nothing, my head just hurts.” Jim groans, putting a hand on his head and rubbing his temples.

Leonard immediately goes to his bag and grabs some aspirin for the pain, giving it to Jim to take along with a glass of water. “Maybe you should go back to sleep, you’ll need all the energy you can get to fight this off.”

Jim just nods, settling back into bed and covering up with his heavy duvet. Leonard picks up his journals and notebooks, placing them in his medical bag before closing it and making his way to the door. “You leavin’?”

Jim’s voice is low, the sound barely reaching Leonard’s ears. “I’m gonna let you get some sleep and I’ll come back in just a little while. Goodnight, Jim.”

“Goodnight, Len,” Jim mumbles, and then he’s out like a light.

The next few days are not as bad for Jim as one would expect, what with having the flu and all. Of course, having Leonard staying in the next room and coming multiple times a day to check on him and keep him entertained is what actually made being sick tolerable.

Their conversations and banter only got more flirty with each passing comment, making Jim feel amazing and terrible at the same time. He was starting to really like Leonard, learning so much about each other and getting along perfectly, but in the back of his mind was always the lingering thought that he is supposed to get married, and soon, to somebody he hasn’t even spoken a dozen words to personally.

That brings them to today. Winona had convinced all of the visitors to stay until the prince got better, and now that he was, Jim was being forced to sit down at a banquet table with all of the guests, as well as several members of the government. One good thing though is that his mother let him invite some friends, including Leonard.

Sitting in the center of the table, so he can get to know the guests, as his mother had urged, Jim was eating quietly and listening to the chatter around him when he felt someone’s eyes on him. Looking up, Jim’s eyes landed on John Harrison who was attempting to ignore the affections of one of the other guests, Marla McGivers, and was staring straight at him.

Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Jim turns his attention to his friends next to him, Spock and Nyota, who are having a conversation with Leonard. About what, he’s not sure, but he just knows he has to focus his attention somewhere other than the man in front of him that makes him uncomfortable.

Nyota, noticing how quiet Jim is being, decides to ask about it. “How are you feeling, James?”

He shakes his head to clear his thoughts and responds. “I’m fine Ny, why do you ask?”

Nyota sends a pointed glance across the table to the man still unabashedly watching her friend. “You don’t look very well, I just thought that maybe you’re still recovering from your illness.”

“I think she’s right, kid. You’ve probably over-extended yourself so soon after being sick. I can walk you back to your room if you want,” Leonard cuts in, picking up on the tension at the table.

Jim nods and excuses himself, telling a short lie to his mom as an explanation. Jim and Leonard walk out of the dining hall beside each other in companionable silence. When Jim starts to turn a corridor in the direction of his room, Len grabs his hand to keep him walking straight and doesn’t let go once Jim has corrected his path.

Jim is satisfied to say the least that Leonard is still holding his hand, although he is a little confused at where they are going. He did say he would walk Jim back to his room, didn’t he? Jim cocks an eyebrow and looks over at Len, his head tilted slightly in question.

Leonard smiles, his dimples once again making an appearance. God, Jim was starting to really love his dimples. “I figured you wanted to get away from the table, but I didn’t want you to be stuck in your room again. You’ve been confined there for almost a week,” Leonard says in explanation.

“Thank you, Len. Not just for tonight but for taking care of me and keeping me company. It’s really easy to be me around you. I can’t do that with just anyone.” Jim smiles at the man next to him and feels his heart skip a beat when he feels Leonard’s hand tighten around his own.

Not knowing or caring where they were going as he was sneaking glances at Leonard, Jim looks up when he feels wind on his face and finds himself in the gardens. Len and Jim walk through the beautiful flowers and budding trees, just enjoying each other’s company and the improving weather. The two of them stop when they reach the center of the walled garden, sitting down on the ivy-covered sides of a large fountain.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jim just shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t really know what to say. I feel like I’ve already about myself enough for the time being...”

“Well I’m here for you if you decide you want to talk. Anything you need.” Leonard’s’ voice is filled with warmth and Jim can feel himself gravitating towards him, laying his head on one of Len’s broad shoulders.

“Anything, huh?” Jim looks up at Leonard, his electric blue eyes almost glowing in the coming darkness.

“Of course, Jim. I hope I’ve made that clear.”

“I don’t…” Jim searches his words, sitting up straight. “I am not going to marry any of those people. I am going to challenge the ruling that says I have to be married to become King. I don’t want my life to be ruled by somebody other than me. What I want to know is… will you stay with me when I do?”

Leonard doesn’t answer right away, letting his mind think about what Jim is saying. Does he really want Leonard to stay around? Leonard hadn’t let himself think that something like this could happen, instead choosing to remain a realist, but now that him and Jim could be together without having to rush, it sounds perfect.

In the few seconds it has taken for Leonard to think this, his mind coming back with an emphatic /yes,/ Jim’s head has lowered, thinking that the silence was a rejection. Leonard put a hand under Jim’s chin, lifting his head gently to look into his eyes.

“I did say anything, didn’t I?”

A large smile takes over Jim’s face, and it’s one of the most beautiful things that Leonard has ever seen. A matching grin comes over his own face and before he knows it he’s smiling into an affectionate kiss, letting himself melt into it.

The kiss breaks off sooner than expected and Leonard places his forehead on Jim’s, breathing deeply, when he hears something he wasn’t really expecting. A laugh is bubbling out of Jim’s mouth, bright and so full of warmth. Leonard raises an eyebrow in silent question and Jim stops to take a breath.

“You do realize that now I have to tell everyone to go home, right? Mom is going to be so pissed.”

This time Len joins in, chuckling a little when he thinks of what Winona’s anger will look like. The corners of Leonard’s mouth lift up and his eyes gleam with adoration. He leans in and places another, chaste kiss on Jim’s lips. “We’ll do it together, then.”

Post-A/N: So there it is, I hope y’all liked it! If you wouldn’t mind, maybe leave a like and a comment if you’d like to see more from me! And if you’d like to be added to one of my tag lists, please leave your URL on my list HERE

Permanent tags: @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @mad-girl-without-a-box @cd1242 @space-helen

Star Trek tags: @bookcaseninja @musikat18 @kickingitwithkirk @shealwaysreads

#tiasbirthdaychallenge #mckirk #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #jim kirk x leonard mccoy #leonard mccoy x jim kirk #star trek #star trek imagine #star trek aos #star trek reboot #star trek au #royalty au

75 notes · View notes

st-r-trk-fangasm · 6 years

Text

TOS Tag Game

I was tagged by @onedamnminuteadmiral to answer five questions about Star Trek, then write five questions and tag some folks to answer those! I have been chosen!!! :D

1. Which episode do you think best captures the spirit of Star Trek. Why?  That’s tough, but I still say Trouble with Tribbles. Yeah, it’s the most enjoyable and funniest one, but for me, that’s what TOS Star Trek is. They have routine missions to go through and have this amazing crew to do it, but they must also have some ridiculous situations too . I prefer the light-hearted episodes. 2. Which two characters do you wish had interacted more, and what do you think their friendship/relationship would have been like? Uhura and Chapel. One thing TOS needed to improve on was allowing woman to interact together without a man in the picture. TAS gave us that moment when the men get hypnotized by the sirens at least. I feel like they would have a lot of sleepovers and hit the gym together. 3. Who was your favorite actor/actress in TOS, and what do you think they brought to their character? Can I really answer this? Some actors barely got that much screen time to really prove themselves. I'll say De for the sake that he seemed to me like just a genuine good guy. Also the fact that he wanted to be a doctor tickles me. I appreciate De for his take on McCoy because it’s harder than you think to make a character grumpy and yelling at his patience while being the sweetest and most caring person aboard. 4. Tell me about a scene or a story line that meant a lot to you personally. What significance does it have for you? Deep questions here… ummm…*shuffles through memory* Clearly it's been too long since I've watched the episodes through. But I have this moment in mind. “The Deadly Years” Everyone is having symptoms of age and while some are feeling colder or getting bad arthritis, it’s those that are losing their memory (among other things) like Kirk. The insecurity he gets from that and his dismissal of Spock. I've seen enough men into their old age become isolated and more insecure. It’s kind of hard to watch. 5. If you were a costume designer/set designer/hair-makeup designer, etc., what (if anything) would you change about the aesthetics of the show? Imagine you have a bottomless budget, but it’s still the ‘60s so keep technological limitations in mind. :) Nothing XD Ok, maybe make a few changes like what the women wore. But also what the men wore and how they looked. Everyone just had the military cut and women had up-do's. What about pony-tailed men with some make up? Braids! More aliens aboard. Spock seems to be only other crew member aboard the Enterprise who even has an ounce of alien blood. Andorians aren't that hard to believe. And what about taking new members from colonies aboard? Yeah I like the cheapness of the show. It’s supposed to be the future. IN space. Go crazy, bu don’t go overboard.

Create 5 questions of your own and tag others if you want to keep playing.

Questions for you guys!

1. Why did you start watching Star Trek? When did it happen?”

2. What has the show inspired you to do. It could be a career path or just fanwork.

3. Do you love all Star Trek series or do you just take to one(or a couple)?

4. There’s a lot of Star Trek merchandise out there. What is your favorite that you possess? What is one you’d like to own.

5. In your opinion, what is the weirdest/strangest episode of TOS? And why?

And I’ll tag (no pressure if you don’t want to do this!) @dingonato @spockshair @entrenous88 @plaidshirtjimkirk @neetols and whomever else wants to do this! Please tag me if you do! <3

#onedamnminuteadmiral #tag game #q&a

6 notes · View notes

hurt-spock · 6 years

Text

FanFic: The Deep (Spock/McCoy friendship)

“I told you wife that he would not enjoy the experience,” Sarek said as their infant child shrieked while his mother held him in the shallow water and carefully washed him.

“Hush, dear. It's natural for a baby to be unsettled the first couple of times.”

“He is Vulcan. It is not natural for an infant Vulcan to be exposed to water to frequently and so young.”

“He is also human. That side must be nurtured too.”

The baby continued to cry.

Amanda had wanted to object to the school trip.

The Vulcan's believed that it was good for young male Vulcan's to spend time away from their families and experience nature and survival for themselves. They were supervised by adults, but Amanda feared the usual bias would fall upon her son.

At six years old, he was not a baby to be coddled any longer, yet he was her child and would forever be precious to her in a way that she knew Spock and even Sarek would never understand. But she knew that she had to let him do this too. All Vulcan children had such tasks to complete. Not allowing it would make him more of an outcast.

So she waited patiently for the few days to pass by and tried not to appear too anxious when he came home. Tried not to fuss over him.

It was only a split lip. But the hint of a bruise underneath and she knew it had been inflicted and it wasn't the harsh conditions that Sarek implied. And even at six year old, Spock had stopped confiding in her about these types of incidents.

“Spock, get you landing party together and meet in the transporter room in 20 minutes,” Kirk said.

Spock nodded as he looked over the data on his PADD to access the best team for the task. Spock didn't pay much attention to those in the meeting leaving until he was done and found only himself and McCoy left in the room. McCoy was waiting at the door and a quick glance told Spock that McCoy had locked the door to prevent anyone else entering.

Spock raised an eyebrow in question as he eyed the locked door. “Something you wish to discuss, Doctor?”

“You're going to lead that landing party?”

“Clearly,” Spock replied.

“I thought you had a thing about water?”

Spock frowned. “A 'thing' about water?”

McCoy sighed. “The drowning thing?” The change in Spock's face was minimal and he did well to cover his surprise so quickly. But McCoy had noticed it. “So it's true then?”

Spock kept his gaze averted for a moment or two before meeting McCoy's look. “It is of no concern, to yourself or the task at hand,” Spock said, stepping past the doctor and unlocking the door.

Jim had noticed his hoovering, checking the landing party updates. But he didn't say anything.

Sometimes McCoy did do that. If the danger seemed to be high, but as far as Jim was concerned, this was a straight forward mission, so McCoy's presence made him a little anxious.

When they were ready for beam up, McCoy headed to the transporter room along with Jim. The crew debriefed and all was well. Except now Spock was actively avoiding the doctor. He blatantly ignored his presence there and went about finishing his duties. McCoy mulled over how best to approach Spock and ended up heading to his quarters three hours after Spock had been off duty. He made sure he wasn't with Uhura first, nothing to make matters worse than busting in on their quality time together, though it didn't surprise him Uhura was also not present.

He buzzed and the door opened with a simple command from Spock. The scent of incense hung heavily in the air and the lights were low, sure signs Spock had been meditating.

“I wasn't sure I'd be welcome,” McCoy said, hesitating by the door as it closed behind him.

“You are always welcome, Doctor. Although the memories you choose to bring up are not always so welcome.” Spock replied. He remained seated at his desk. McCoy knew that Spock always mediated on a mat on the floor. He wondered if Spock had been about to meditate or had already completed it.

“Just so you know, I wasn't snooping through your files or anything. Stuff like that, which might be an issue, it's flagged up for medical.”

“But you did look further into it,” Spock replied. It wasn't an accusation.

“A long time ago, but yeah. And just so you know, there's a lot of pressure on me not to let you die,” McCoy said, pointing a finger in Spock's direction.

“There is also a lot of pressure on me not to die. But I grant that your job maybe harder. Besides, if I fail, I do not have to live with the consequences.”

“Stop talking like that. It's depressing as Hell.” McCoy said. He moved away from the door and went over to one of the incense burners, a warming orange glow coming from the flame, with deep red at the top. “So is this genuine?”

“It is a replication of one I had on Earth. Many Vulcan's who survived gave any genuine artifacts in their possession to the Elders of New Vulcan. So those genuine items could be immortalised for future generations.”

“I wanted to just, you know, say I'm sorry if that comment I made before the mission threw you at all. I didn't think it through. I shouldn't have mentioned it.”

“Would you like a tea, Doctor?” Spock replied, getting up from the desk.

“I'm not really a big tea drinker.”

“I am afraid I have nothing else I can offer you,” Spock replied as he made himself a drink.

McCoy let out a sigh. “It's okay. I guess I should get going, let you get back to your.... thing.” He turned to leave but Spock spoke out before the door opened.

“I do not have a dislike for water.”

McCoy stopped and turned to the Vulcan. He was still in the darkness of the room, but the flicking from the candles in the room lit up his face.

“Vulcans do not have much association with water. It is rare almost sacred on our planet. Water sources are scarce and heavy rains so rare. Yet they always bring with them so much life and rage.” Spock took a drink from his tea. “My mother bathed me as an infant any human would bathe their child. It was met with much disapproval, from both my Father and myself. But I grew used to it. On an outing as a child, a storm came upon our group. I did not notice the first drops of rain, even though I was further out that the other children. I did not warn them because it did not frighten me as it frightened them. By the time the rain reached them, it was too late to find any real cover.”

“It was only rain.” McCoy shrugged.

“A fierce storm. Thunder and lightning. It was probably the first that most had experienced. Not like a storm on Earth. And very different if you are out and exposed in the middle of it. The elders in the group did their best to shelter us from it. One of the boys fled. In sheer panic he ran. There were only two elders with us, so one of them went after him. We waited. But they did not come back. So once the storm passed, we headed in the direction they had gone to find them.”

“Surely you should have all been taken home first?” McCoy interjected.

“The experience was about nature and survival. What better example than this?”

McCoy shook his head and Spock continued. “It did not take long to find them. Vulcan was home to many wild animals that prowled the deserts for food. That night, in their fear and panic, they had not been thinking about the dangers from animals, just the storm and rain. We gathered what we could find that remained of them, dug a hole and then burnt what was left so the ground would not be disturbed by creatures that could smell the flesh and blood. And we piled stones on top to mark where their bodies were. Then we headed back.”

“What did your parents say when you got home?”

“It took two days to get home. The following morning, we were gathering berries in the woods for breakfast. Two of the boys played a prank on me. I believed they were in danger and went to help, but they were in no danger.”

Spock's voice had been calm and quiet throughout, but it dropped even quieter. “I still do not know if they were aiming to be so violent in revenge or if it went beyond their expectations, however I recall them tripping me when I got close to them. The official report, the one you read, says that I tripped and fell into a body of water and almost drowned. I know that they tripped me, and struck the back of my head with a rock. I woke as they dragged me by my legs through to the body of water. I did not struggle, I did not believe I was in danger. The ground was still damp from the rain before and I lay there looking up at the sky through the trees above. I could hear birds and the elder calling our names. It did not seem dangerous.”

“And what did they do?” McCoy pressed.

Spock looked at McCoy. “Is it not obvious? One of them pulled me into the water and dropped me into it, he pushed me down so my head was submerged and he did not let go. The other.... “ Spock frowned as he tried to remember clearly. “I believe he kicked, or maybe threw stones at my body. I can not say clearly what it was. But they hurt and they left bruises. My eyes were closed. Tightly, I could not see a thing, just darkness. So I do not know when exactly I passed out but the next thing I remember is the elder striking my back and me coughing up water. The boys said I tripped and fell and he nodded his head and that is what he told the others when we returned and that is what I told my parents. Even though I could remember what they did, I did not tell them differently.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Two people died. If I had made an accusation I would have tarnished the deaths of those that lost their lives. And the families of those boys would have argued their innocence. And they would have been believed.”

“They could have killed you.”

“Yes.”

“Don't you ever think that you have a duty to do something about it now?”

“They both perished on Vulcan.” Spock was back to staring blankly at something only he could see. “Doctor, many tormented me as a child as I was different. And most of them are dead. And I would face all of those tormentors again and suffer through it all if I could have my home back.”

McCoy swallowed down his own emotions. Spock didn't need him to go all soft on him. “Fuck,” he muttered quietly to himself. “Okay so for future reference, how do you feel about water?”

“I am indifferent to it. Water did not try and kill me. It is illogical to fear it.”

McCoy nodded. “I'm removing the note then. It's irrelevant.”

Spock said nothing. He seemed to remember the tea he had made for himself and drank the remainder of it. “Have you got the answers you sought out, Doctor?”

“I wasn't looking for answers. Not really. You didn't have to tell me all that.”

“I believe sometimes your human theories of sharing may be of some value. Thank you, Doctor.”

“Your welcome, Spock.”

“I'll leave to your meditation.”

Spock nodded. “Good night, Doctor.”

“Night.”

#Spock #McCoy #babySpock #Hurt!Spock #Bullies #SupportingMcCoy #Star Trek #fanfic

11 notes · View notes

janeykath318 · 7 years

Text

Good Medicine: Kirk x Reader

Note: This was written under the influence of wacky hormones, which usually results in me writing either tear-jerking fluff or soul-crushing angst. Today it was the former. #55 “I fell in love with my best friend” Kirk/Reader

“We’ve been inseparable since the moment in eighth grade when you told off Matt Higgins for rubbing it in about my dad. I was so unused to people sticking up for me, I didn’t know how to handle myself, but you declared we were friends from then on and we were. You wouldn’t give up on me even when I was acting the fool and wasting my life and hurting you. Once I was up in space and we were together again, I felt like I was finally where I was supposed to be. I fell in love with my best friend–my beautiful, amazing, brilliant, caring best friend.”

Your eyes misted over with tears as Jim Kirk spoke these words to you, blue eyes bright with his own emotion. The two of you had eyes only for each other standing hand in hand in front of the small group of wedding guests gathered in the hospital’s quiet little chapel. Jim still wasn’t allowed to leave yet, given his difficult recovery from the radiation, but you’d promised him you’d marry him as soon as he could stand upright long enough, hoping it would entice him out of his gloom.

“Jim, darling,” you started softly, “The world came to a stop for me when I thought you’d left it. I’m glad I followed my instincts that day in PE, because you deserve to be treated right, you deserve to be loved for your own precious self. Your friendship was invaluable to me and thank goodness I’m as stubborn as you are so there was no way I was going to let you convince me to stop being your friend. It’s been a wild ride, but we’re finally here, and there’s no getting rid of me now. Too late to escape now, honey.”

You grinned at him impudently and Jim gave a laugh–a genuine hearty laugh unlike any you’d heard since the Daystrom tragedy kicked off the Khan debacle. It was so good to see him happy again. He’d dealt with a lot of pain and frustration in the aftermath of the coma and it had hurt to see him so frail and tired all the time. He was still very thin, but was starting to gain strength back and was doing physical therapy regularly now.

You thought he looked gorgeous in his pale blue dress shirt, tie, and khakis specially brought in by Winona for the occasion and noticed that Spock and Len had also attired themselves similarly for the occasion as groomsmen.

Across from you, Jim could hardly believe this was happening! After all he’d done and been through he was deeply humbled and touched by your devotion to him. He knew he didn’t deserve you, but he was hopelessly in love and when he’d seen you walking toward him in your wedding gown, he thought he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life. He was glad Bones had let this happen, even though the doctor had told him the honeymoon activities would have to wait “until your heart can take the exertion and I’m sure you won’t break in half, kid.” Jim had mildly protested this as a matter of principle, but admitted Bones was right.

He took a breath and launched into the second part of the vows, repeating this part after the chaplain. He promised to love and cherish you, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death did you part. If your hands tightened a bit on his when he spoke the last line, well, it was quite understandable. He knew you’d been devastated with what he’d had to do to save the ship and both of you had been seeing counselors, both separately and together to help work out the emotional fallout of the trauma you’d been through, But, you’d been his rock through the dark days Post coma and he wanted nothing more than to be your husband.

You, in turn, tried not to let your voice quiver as you repeated your vows, but were unsure of your success. However, given the way Jim was looking at you with an adoring gaze, you decided it didn’t really matter.

As he slid the ring on your finger, you smiled and remembered the day you’d decided to make things official.

Jim had had a very trying day, dealing with reacting badly to the supposedly nourishing liquid they were trying to feed him and needing more IVs then getting disappointing results in his latest blood work which meant he wasn’t progressing as fast as they’d hoped.

When you’d come to visit him, he was in the depths of despair.

“I’m never getting out of here, Y/N,” he sighed resignedly. “Every time I think I’ve made progress, some kind of setback happens. Bones wasn’t happy and I could see it, but he didn’t even pretend to lecture me, so I knew it was bad. I’ll probably never see a Starship again, much less captain one.”

“Jim!” You exclaimed worriedly. “What happened to not believing in no-win scenarios?”

He grimaced. “Khan happened, that’s what. I’ve been a cocky fool and Pike warned me what would happen. He was right.”

There was a poignant silence as both of you missed the Admiral all over again.

“I’m sorry you’re struggling, love,” you consoled, leaning down to rest your face next to his. “But you’re forgetting a few things.”

“What’s that, beautiful?” He asked half-heartedly.

“For one, you’ve only been awake a week, so setbacks aren’t too unexpected at this point, and for another, you’re a medical marvel, and there’s no way to know how long it will take, recovering from being dead and all. You’re looking pretty good to me, baby,” you reminded him. So much better than that awful stillness in the body bag, you thought.

Jim mustered a weak smile. “You make good points, beautiful, but I you know I hate hospitals. The prospect of being in one for another month is pretty daunting.”

“What if I had an idea to make it less terrible for you?” You hinted, kissing his scruffy cheek.

“Now, how would that be possible, babe?” Jim asked skeptically.

“Well, given that we both agreed we’re it for each other, I thought we could get married here sooner rather than later. There’s a cute little chapel on the first floor that would do just fine. Give you something to look forward to and incentive to get back on your feet.”

Jim’s eyes went wide and he got quiet–so quiet that you started to get nervous before he spoke again.

“Here? That would be very effective incentive, Y/N, but didn’t you want to have a nice, medium-sized wedding?”

“Time changes priorities,” you said honestly, squeezing Jim’s hand. “My goal is foremost to see you healthy and happy. The wedding details don’t matter just so long as you’re the one putting the ring on my finger.” You rubbed at his left ring finger affectionately and kissed the knuckle, coaxing a fond, blissful expression to Jim’s face.

“So, what do you say? Will you marry me, James Tiberius Kirk?”

“Absolutely I will,” he murmured, then turned his head to kiss you.

Doctor McCoy had taken some convincing to allow such excitement near Jim yet, but at last he said he’d let it go forward as soon as he felt Jim could handle it, which ended up being two and a half weeks later.

When you slid his wedding ring on, you repeated the little kiss to his knuckle and batted your damp eyelashes at him. Jim responded with a smirk and a wink that showed the old Jim was still in there.

When Jim received the instruction to kiss the bride, you didn’t realize how gingerly you were holding him until he broke the kiss and whispered in your ear, “You can hug me harder than that, Mrs. Kirk. I promise I won’t break.”

“You’d better not, Jim,” you replied, tightening your hold. “I’ve got a honeymoon with a hot husband to look forward to.”

Your friends (the non Vulcans, at least) let loose in cheers and applause as the two of you hugged for a long time.

“Do you think Y/N’s tactic worked in raising the captain’s spirits?” Spock asked Dr. McCoy as you and Jim made your triumphant retreat.

“Given the way he’s grinning like a loon and been acting like an overexcited puppy, I’d say it was a resounding success,” The Doctor replied, genuinely very happy to see his best friend smiling again. Turns out love was good medicine when it came to Jim Kirk.

@feelmyroarrrr

@southernbellestatues

@kingarthurscat

@frostingsfics

@thewaithfuckingannoyme

@kirkaholic123

@star-trekkin-across-theuniverse

@yourtropegirl

#my fics #Kirk x Reader #Kirk/Reader

83 notes · View notes

trekficsandbobs · 7 years

Text

The Captain’s Yeoman (Chapter 5)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Summary: Following the encounter with the Heravic, Amelia finds herself without friends and without Jim. Under Doctor’s orders she decides to give it one last attempt at salvaging their friendship.

Pairing: Jim Kirk x OC

Warnings: language, angst

A/N: So this is the final chapter, thank to everyone who has read it and I hope you enjoyed it.

Words: 2,095

Two weeks had passed since Amelia had woken up. Mr Spock had been fetched and the details of her subconscious encounter with the Heravic had been noted, archived, and sent to the Federation Headquarters to be reviewed. The effects of the meeting had been long lasting and torturous. She could not sleep for every time she did she dreamt she was trapped in a swirling, furious storm being pulled in every direction. She felt helpless and lifeless as the storm picked her up and threw her around, over and over and over, until she eventually woke up slick with sweat and tears.

Life on the Enterprise had been quiet, no further trouble had been met on their journey through uncharted space. But it was quiet for another reason entirely. Amelia felt the eyes of her peers pierce the back of her head, and their whispers sharp to her ears. They all seemed to avoid her, scared of some alien side effects that would bring her out in a murderous rage. She endeavoured to continue her work, and not get trodden down by hearsay but at times she would catch herself wiping away a tear as she walked down an empty corridor to her next destination.

Even being by Jim’s side felt wrong now, as he regarded her with the same suspicion - the same coldness - as others did. It broke her heart more often than not to see his eyes turn away from her as she spoke to him. McCoy was the only person who spoke to her as he did before, he was her Doctor after all, and if anything was wrong he would be the first to know. She was thankful to have someone, but she wanted Jim back.

“He’ll come round, darlin’” McCoy drawled as he scanned her with the medical tricorder.

“Is it really that obvious?” Amelia asked. There was no point denying it any longer, not to herself or to her only friend.

“Yeah, but he’s been off with everyone lately” He sighed, placing the tricorder down on the medical trolley and sitting beside her on the bed. “Think it’s spooked him s’all; he does care about you, it’s just all this has given him a reality check I guess.” He gave her a reassuring smile which she attempted to return with little success. “Just give him time. Maybe talk to him on shore leave, I think Spock is forcing him to take some time off.” He stood up and waved a nurse over to return the trolley to its designated space. “I have to get back to work, but if you need me you know where I am.”

Before she could thank him he was gone. She picked up her PADD and walked out of medbay to her appointment with Mr Scott. As she walked she thought about what Leonard had said. Shore leave started in two days on the planet they were currently orbiting as they made sure it was safe for the crew to go down to. If Jim really was forced to take some time off and take the weight off his shoulders for just a few hours then maybe she could get through to him. If not, then at least she knew where she stood. As the entrance to Mr Scott’s office (it could hardly be called such a thing as it was filled with coils, broken machine parts, and smelt strongly of oil) came into view, Amelia was resolved. She would fix this once and for all in two days’ time.

The time for shore leave came quickly, in her head she had a few words planned out for when she got Jim alone. Lining up for the transporters to be beamed to the surface Amelia practiced it again: Jim, tell me what I’ve done. Tell me why you can’t look at me anymore. I can’t carry on with this shit, you’ve got to tell me where I stand - where we stand - or I have to go. She wished she could come up with something a little more inspiring and emotional, tug on his heart strings a little, but that was all she had. Jim would be one of the last off, alongside the other senior officers, so she probably had an hour or so to kill before she could see him.

…

The planet was beautiful. It was covered in lush emerald coloured grass, with tall trees of various types and colours. Amelia’s favourite was the bright pink willow-esk tree whose branches waved slowly and sluggishly in the breeze. The flowers were all brightly coloured, unlike anything she had ever seen before. A plant, which had all the appearance of a sun flower, had petals as big as her head. Crew members lay about under the shade of the fruit trees (which had been deemed safe to consume by the biologists) chatting and laughing, while some swam in the crystal blue waters of the lake.

Amelia sat under the shade of the willow tree reading a book she had brought down with her. She wasn’t really reading it, her thoughts were elsewhere as she flicked through the pages. The longer she sat there, the more nervous she got about confronting Jim. What would he say? Would he be angry? Questions she would soon be forced to face as she heard the distinctive sound of people beaming to the surface. It was Jim, accompanied by Mr Spock and McCoy.

Good, if Leonard is there I might be able to get him on his own.

Giving him ten minutes to adjust to his new surroundings, Amelia paced under the protection of the sweeping branches, rehearsing her hello to her Captain. It had been a long time since she had done that. On her first day on the Enterprise she delayed as much as possible, going over her introduction until it was ingrained into her head and she was ready to take up her place.

Right. Let’s get this show on the road.

Amelia grabbed her bag and steeled herself, smoothed over her uniform and took a deep breath. Stepping into the bright sunshine she took a moment to readjust and practice her hello once more.

As she walked towards the three men, her hands started to shake. McCoy noticed her first, giving her a smile, waving her over. Jim looked up to see her approach, he almost looked sad to see her.

“Uh hi” she managed. Good one Amelia.

“Beautiful planet isn’t it?” McCoy said, smiling at her knowingly.

“Yeah, it’s like the Garden of Eden or something, I’ve never seen anything like it” she replied, a little courage returning to her. Do it now while you can get words out. “Captain, I was wondering if I could have a word.” she asked, turning to Jim, whose eyes - for the first time in a long time - were on her.

“Of course” he replied, gesturing with his arm for her to take the lead, “After you.”

Shit. Amelia thought, she hadn’t planned on where to go.

She began to walk back to the tree she had appeared from, all too aware of how strange that was. Jim walked beside her quietly. Amelia glanced over her shoulder to McCoy.

“Good luck” he mouthed while Spock was preoccupied studying the local fauna.

“Step into my office” she said pulling back some branches to form a doorway for Jim to step through. The joke was a reflex reaction to the sheer awkward tension in the air and she regretted it instantly. If she had kept her eyes on Jim for just a second longer before looking to the floor in embarrassment, she would’ve seen the small smile which broke on his face.

Placing her bag on the ground and clearing her throat, she turned to her Captain. Now or never.

“Captain, if I have done something wrong please tell me. You’ve been nothing but cold and distant from me since those bloody monks messed with my head and I can’t deal with all this shit anymore.” Not quite what she had planned but it came out in one go, so it could be deemed a success.

Jim Kirk looked taken aback. Had she crossed a line? This was the worst idea ever, he’s gonna transfer me the second we’re back on the Enterprise. She thought, cursing herself.

“I…I’m sorry Amelia” he replied quietly, looking at the ground.

“Why? Why have we changed?” Amelia breathed, all the fight had gone from her now, she just wanted answers.

“It’s not you, it’s me” He looked at her now, stepping closer.

“I’ve heard that one before”

“No… I really mean it. That day, you were out for hours. I sat by your bed and all I could see was the fear in your eyes when they took over you. I thought you were going to die.” Jim breathed out heavily, as if he had been holding all the words in.

“You sat with me?” Amelia whispered, she didn’t believe it, nobody had said anything.

“Yeah, I told Bones not to say anything… I don’t know why.” He held his hands out towards Amelia. “I thought I lost you. When Bones told me you had woken up and called for Spock I thought you hated me; you didn’t call for me so I figured you blamed me. So I’ve been trying to keep my distance, but I guess that’s just made it all worse.”

“Jim,” she took his hands in her own, stepping towards him, “I don’t blame you. It wasn’t you who nearly fried my brain. I didn’t join Starfleet because I thought it would be the safest job I could have. I joined because I thought I could make a difference, anything that happens to me is not your doing.”

“But…”

“No buts. I don’t want anyone to feel responsible for me, I’ve had a lifetime of it.” Amelia sighed, it was time she told Jim about her past. Sitting down, she signalled Jim to sit next to her and lean against the wide trunk of the tree.

“My mum was very protective, with the whole nearly kidnapped thing when I was little the only time she let me out of her sight was school. Even then she’d call me every break to make sure I was ok. She felt responsible for what happened, and we both had to live with that. You remember that call you walked in on weeks ago? When you came to my quarters to do the reports? That was the last call I ever got from her. She was hit by a driver who ran a red light at a cross roads. I knew something was wrong when I didn’t get a call in first break, then lunch… I was pulled out of my last lesson and…” wiping away a tear she continued: “So as soon as school finished I joined Starfleet, she would’ve hated it but then she wasn’t there to stop me” she smiled to herself, “I watch that call every day to stay close to her I guess. My point is that I’ve had my fill, it tortured my mum until the day she died. Don’t let it torture you.”

“I didn’t know, Amelia. I’m so sorry” he turned to her, taking her hand and gazing into her eyes.

There was silence. The breeze rustled through the branches, the sound of laughter from the crew in the lake could be heard through the natural curtain. Amelia stayed still, looking into Jim’s eyes. It was him who broke the silence.

“I love you.”

It was Amelia’s turn to be taken aback.

“What?” she managed, in complete disbelief.

“I love you, Amelia. That’s why I can’t lose you. It’s killed me the last couple weeks to not be able to be the man you think I am. But I love you, and I don’t want to keep it from you anymore - even if you don’t feel the same.”

She did. She really did.

He was still looking at her. Waiting for a response. But Amelia had no words, not yet, so she did the next best thing. She kissed him.

It was not the most delicate kiss, she pulled him towards her until their lips met. It was passionate and intense as the two desperately tried to make up for lost time and suppressed feelings. After a few seconds Amelia pulled away, Jim smiled at her - dazed. She had finally found her words.

“I love you too, Jim.”

tags: @youre-on-a-starship @feelmyroarrrr @webhoard @yourtropegirl

#jim kirk x oc #jim kirk #jim kirk imagine #star trek imagine #star trek aos

19 notes · View notes

jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets · 5 years

Text

Lost in Translation

Title: Lost in Translation

Fandom: Star Trek

Pairing: Mckirk

Rating: i have recently been advised that i should use the “citrus scale” so... Lemon (eventually)

Tags: minor character death, hurt, little bit of self destruction, stranded, possible smut down the line

Summary:

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Special Thanks: wanted to give a huge shout out to my girl Katie, AKA @goingknowherewastaken for being a huge inspiration for this fic as well as for being a huge help (especially when it comes to putting up with my frantic ramblings lol) you're awesome boo <3

A/N: So this is a work in progress but it’s basically finished and I’ve been making great headway with this recently, so this will be the first fic I’ve ever finished! Woohoo!! And I'm thinking that I’ll probably stick to a Sunday post schedule.

Also a little note for y’all to keep in mind while reading. I have tagged this fic “possible eventual smut” and that’s because right now I don’t have any planned buuuuut… I'm going to leave that option up to you guys! Between the readers here and AO3, if you're still with me by the end of this fic, leave a comment and let me know if you would be interested in an epilogue or end scene with smut. I’ll post a reminder at the end, but keep it in mind while reading.

And if anyone is interested in being tagged for future posts for this fic or any others I may post, please let me know and I’ll add you to the list! Thanks for reading <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 5

Leonard slammed a fist on his desk and ran the other hand down his face, ending the comm. He couldn’t take much more of this. If someone didn’t find Jim soon he was going to have some kind of nervous break down, in fact, he was surprised he hadn’t had one already.

He decided to take himself up on that drink and left his office, not even giving a wave to anyone at the nurse’s station as he stalked past. He was on his way to his room when that old saying popped violently into his head, playing over and over again, “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone,” and hell if that weren’t true.

He’d known Jim Kirk since the day he sat next to him on the shuttle in Riverside, and he’d be the last to admit that there had been something between them right from the get go, but now he wished he had. He’d spent years trying to convince himself that what he felt for the kid wasn’t anything more then friendship, but after a few close calls he started to realize that maybe he couldn’t keep up that charade for much longer. Now Jim was missing, and every emotion that he had tried for all those years to push down and ignore, because ain’t no way the kid would have feelings for a grumpy old man like him, came quickly flooding back to him, pushing him into a sort of self destructive spiral.

It started slow. The first few nights Jim was missing he had spent them locked up in his room, trying to quell the frequent panic attacks that were suddenly plaguing him. Thoughts and visions filled his head of Jim dying in so many different ways. Jim floating in space, mangled in the shuttle crash, by infection, by dehydration or starvation… alone. The thoughts quickened his heart and tightened his chest, but no matter what he did he couldn’t vanquish the thought of Jim dying alone and without knowing what he should have told him years ago.

He had hoped that throwing himself fully into the rescue efforts for Jim and the cadets would maybe help deter these thoughts, but it only made them worse. Each day he would join Spock, Nyota, and a few other members of their crew in mapping out different routes and possible locations. Only, when Leonard started seeing for himself what kinds of planets Jim could have landed on, he was sure one of his panic attacks would turn into a heart attack. As he stood motionless and silent in the ready room off the bridge, looking at pictures and listening to Spock talk about different planets along the shuttles possible routes, “volcanic planet,” “made up of 87.65% water,” “host to a race of hostile inhabitants,” and more, Leonard could hardly contain his very high, and quickly rising, level of anxiety.

He managed to hide it fairly well during these meetings with Jim's rescue crew. Holding the emotions inside and saving his attacks for when he was in the privacy of his own room, alone, where he could drown his fears in a glass of bourbon. And that’s where it quickly went down hill, and fast. What started off as his usual one or two glasses a night, turned into three, then four, and eventually he found that even the entire bottle couldn’t stop the scenes from running through his mind.

Now, eighteen days into searching for Jim and again coming up empty handed, he found himself sitting on his couch, having already emptied bottle number one, and half way through bottle number two. And even that didn’t seem to be enough tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lieutenants log, Stardate 2264.96. It has been eighteen days and still no sign of the captain or our missing cadets. I have sent out alerts in all areas of the quadrant in all native languages as well as several foreign ones, and still no one has reported seeing our missing shuttle or crew members...”

Nyota sighed, running a hand down her face. She had been on the bridge for she didn’t know how long, composing alerts and translating them into as many languages as she knew in an attempt to find Jim, or at the very least have someone come forward with some information that could lead them in the right direction. At this point they were grasping at straws and practically guessing when it came to searching planets. They might as well have closed their eyes and thrown a dart at a map. They had no idea where the shuttle had even gone, and no one in this entire quadrant seemed to know either.

She ended her comm and turned back to the screen where she was working on her latest translation. The bridge had been quiet all shift, everyone solely focused on finding their missing captain and crew.

She heard the rush of air as the turbo lift doors opened and closed, and heard the footsteps as they walked steadily across the bridge and stopped behind her. Though she didn’t turn around and instead continued her work.

A gentle hand touched her shoulder, an attempt to gain her attention. “Lieutenant,” the steady voice of their acting captain broke through the silence, “have you been here for both shifts?”

She turned to face Spock, realizing now that the bridge crew behind him were not the faces her usual shift crew. Quickly turning back to her screen and looking at the time she sighed and slumped back in her chair, “Yeah, I guess I have.”

Spock leaned over her slightly, looking at the screen, “Are you sending out another alert about the captain and the cadets?”

“Yes.”

“How many have you sent out?”

“Not including the thirteen native languages of this quadrant…” she thought for a moment, “this will be the eighth.”

“What language?”

“This one’s in Klingon.”

“May I?” She gestured to the screen and pushed her chair to the side so Spock could better view the message. He leaned fully forwards and began reading the text, “Attention Klingon citizens in the Omarian quadrant. This is the crew of the Enterprise asking for your help. On Stardate 2264.78 a shuttle manned by our captain and fourteen cadets was ambushed by an unknown source and chased out of sight of our ship. Those cadets as well as our captain, James Tiberius Kirk, are still missing. We are asking anyone with any information on their whereabouts, or regarding the attack, to please contact the Enterprise immediately. Our family would appreciate any assistance you can give.”

When he finished reading the passage, he backed away and turned to her, hands folded behind his back, “Do you think the Klingons would help us if they did hold information pertinent to the captain’s rescue?”

She shrugged, “It’s worth a shot at this point. So far everything else has been a bust.”

“You do have a point, Lieutenant.” She nodded in response and Spock watched as her head slowly began to fall into her chest. He placed his hand on her shoulder again, jolting her from her half asleep state, “Come, Lieutenant, you must rest. If any information is discovered I will contact you immediately.”

“No,” she said as she stood from the chair and Spock began gently guiding her towards the lift, “Spock, I have a few more languages I wanted to translate that message into. Just-”

“Nyota,” he stopped her with a hard look, “we will be no help to Jim, the missing cadets, or the rest of the crew if we are not well rested. Get some rest and we can continue the translations tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, getting into the lift, “you're right. I’ll be here tomorrow morning to continue the translations.”

Spock gave a nod as the doors closed and she ordered the lift to her deck. In seconds the lift doors opened again and she slowly made way to her room. She was just about there when a familiar blonde head of hair came towards her from down the hall.

“Christine, what are you doing up so late?”

“Emergency surgery on one of the engineering crew,” she huffed a breath and rubbed her already red eyes, “I was actually already off shift and in bed when M’benga called me in to help.”

“Doesn’t doctor McCoy usually take the reigns on these kinds of things?” She quirked a brow and crossed her arms, “At the very least he's usually present during the surgery.”

“That’s just the thing,” she shrugged, “no ones been able to get him on comms. He left the sickbay around noon without telling anyone and no ones heard from him all day.”

“That’s odd.”

Christine rubbed a hand up her arm, shifting slightly closer to whisper to Nyota, “I'm worried about him, Ny,” she stepped back, not sure if she should disclose this next bit of information to a lieutenant, but she needed to tell someone and she didn’t think that someone should be Spock, considering his track record with Leonard, “I keep finding empty bottles of alcohol all over his office, he's leaving shift early, I don’t think he's done a surgery or even an exam on anyone in weeks, he won’t talk to anyone, spends most of his time in his office gaping at those maps. I know this all has to do with Jim going missing, and believe me we are all feeling the loss right now, but I'm afraid he's spiralling into something he won’t be able to pull himself out of and soon it might… it might get really bad if someone doesn’t pull him out.”

“You’re right,” she nodded, “what's his room number? I’ll check on him.”

Christine pulled up the padd in her hand and tapped away for a second before looking back to Nyota, “Room, 226.”

“Ok, I'm on my way,” she turned to head back to the lift before calling out, “I’ll comm you when I’ve got him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Nyota arrived at room 226, the room of her good friend Doctor Leonard McCoy. She knocked and waited, looking around the deserted hallway. It was long past midnight and the ship was eerily quite as she waited. When she heard no answer or rousing from the other side she knocked again, this time shouting, “Leonard, I know you’re in there, please let me in. I know this change in you is because of Jim but we can talk it out, just open the door. People are worried about you.”

Still no one answered and she would admit that she was starting to get worried too. She took another look around the halls, making sure she was still alone, before quickly hacking into the lock pad beside Len’s door and breaking in.

She entered to the room in complete darkness. She closed the door behind her and called out for Len but again there was no answer. She ordered the computer to turn the lights on and gasped when she was finally able to see. And what she was met with was a room full of countless empty bottles, a passed out doctor on the floor in front of the couch, and a bottle of half empty bourbon slowly leaking in his hand.

She ran over to him, turning him over and taking his face in her hands shaking him gently, “Leonard, wake up!”

When all she got in response was a groan and a still unconscious Leonard, she grabbed her comm and called Christine.

“Uhora!” Christine’s voice came through the comm, “Did you talk to Leonard?”

“Not exactly,” she grunted as she hauled the limp doctor off the floor and slung his arm over her shoulder, “meet me back in sickbay, find an empty room and prep a bed for me. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Before anything else could be said she ended the call and began dragging Leonard across the room and slowly down the hall. He was no help to her at all, only grunting in protest at the upright position and occasionally shuffling his feet and throwing them both off balance. And after what seemed like a life time they finally made it to the lift that would take them to Christine.

When she had first laid eyes on Leonard lying lifeless on the floor, her first thought was to call Spock. He was after all, their acting captain in Jim's stead, but when rethinking that strategy she decided against it. Spock and the doctor did not have the best past and she could only imagine the fight that would ensue when Spock found out that his chief medical officer had nearly drank himself into a coma. And with Jim being gone and tensions already on the rise, she was sure it would most likely end in a blood bath. Instead she decided it best to keep this incident quiet and leave Len in the trustworthy hands of nurse Chapel.

When the lift door opened Christine was already there waiting for them, eyes blowing wide upon seeing the limp state of Leonard hanging off uhora’s shoulder. She quickly ran inside the lift taking up Len’s other side and lead them all to the room she had prepped in the far back of the sick bay.

They landed Leonard on the bed and shaded the windows before closing the door, leaving the three alone.

“What happened?!” Christine instantly began scanning Leonard, checking all vitals while waiting for an explanation.

Uhora sighed, running a hand through her hair before answering, “Jim still missing has clearly put a strain on all of us in many different ways. I found him passed out in his room surrounded by empty bourbon bottles. I can’t even begin to guess how many bottles he drank before he passed out.”

Chapel ran a scanner over him, eyes on her padd. “He’s lucky you found him and not someone else.”

“Those were my thoughts exactly,” she nodded, “I thought about calling Spock for help but I thought maybe it would be best to keep this quiet.”

“You’re probably right.” She pulled the scanner away, placing it back in her pocket and put the padd on the bedside table before turning to Uhora, “He’ll be fine. Nothing I can’t fix with a few good hypos.”

Uhora smirked, crossing her arms and standing, “I’ll be back in the morning to talk to him when he’s more himself, so don’t let him leave this room until I get here.” Chapel nodded, “And you should get some sleep too, Christine. Don’t let this fool keep you up all night.”

“I will. Good night, Nyota.”

“Good night.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

For the first time in a long time Leonard woke up to a blinding headache. His eyes were so heavy and sore they didn’t even want to open, and sitting up was definitely not going to happen right now.

He ran a shaking hand down his face trying to remember what happened. He remembered making it to his room, then soon after receiving a comm from Spock informing him that the mission had yet again been a failure, and they would have to move on to another planet to search for Jim. Next thing, he had a bottle of bourbon in his hand and the rest is a haze.

Though he didn’t remember what happened he was sure he could put two and two together and figure it out, but how he had ended up in the sickbay would remain a mystery.

As he rifled through his jumbled thoughts for an answer the door opened, letting in a little too much light for his over sensitive eyes, and he shot a hand up to cover them.

“Oh, is that too bright for you?” A woman's voice hit his ears and he groaned in response, “I'm sorry, let me just open it a little more then. Or how about I do you one better. Computer, lights one hundred percent!”

As more light flooded the room Leonard hissed and rolled onto his side, which was a horrible idea as he felt his stomach lurch with the motion. Though he was far too stubborn to blow his stomach contents, and also not willing to stand to run to the bathroom, and forced himself to get over the sudden wave of nausea.

He let out one more groan as his stomach screamed at him, along with his liver, and he slit his eyes open just enough to see a familiar figure standing before him, arms crossed. “Uhora. What are you doing here? And why am I here?”

“You don’t remember?” She spat, walking closer to him, “I had to drag your dumb ass here after I found you passed out on your floor last night! I had to pull Chapel out of her room after she already worked a double and assisted on an emergency surgery because you were nowhere to be found, just so she could save your sorry hide from dying of alcohol poisoning!”

Yep, it was just as he had suspected. He clutched his stomach as another wave of nausea hit him and he looked up at her, “Look, Uhora, I-”

She raised a hand to stop him, “I don’t even want to hear your lame excuse Leonard. I had every intention of coming in here this morning and being as sympathetic as I could, but I couldn’t do it. I know your situation is slightly different then the rest of us, but you're not the only one who’s effected by Jim's absence!”

His brows furrowed and he pulled himself up in the bed to sit up slightly, “What do you mean my situation is different?”

She met his confused eyes with ones filled with pity. “Leonard, I know how you feel about Jim, I think everyone knows.”

“How I feel about him?”

She moved to sit on the edge of the bed facing him, all sternness replaced with the sympathy she spoke of before as she placed a hand on his shoulder, “The two of you were made for each other. I’ve seen the way you look at him, and how he looks at you, I’ve seen the way you act around each other and I know it’s more then merely friendship between you. But Leonard, you have got to pull yourself together. Jim is out there somewhere, along with fourteen other cadets who all need our help. No doubt when we find them they are going to need their chief medical officer in top condition to patch them up, and Jim is surely going to need his Bones just the same way.” He laid his head heavily back on the bed, letting it all sink in as she continued, “If you love him as much as I know you do, you'll sober up and get ready for when we do find him. And when he does get back, you should probably do something about that unspoken bond between the two of you. If this is anything to learn from, it’s that our lives are too dangerous and unpredictable to wait until it’s too late.”

She gave his arm a pat and left him alone to wallow in her words. He sighed, thinking over what she had said and decided that as always, Uhora was right… about everything.

He rolled to his side again and searched the room for his comm finding it on top of his shoes beside the bed. He grabbed it and rolled to his back, holding the comm in front of his face, before taking a deep breath and speaking as calmly as he could. “CMO’s log, stardate 2264.97. It’s… it’s day nineteen now in our search for the captain, and I won’t lie… I am struggling with his absence. After some much needed words of wisdom from Lieutenant Uhora I’ve come to realize some things, or rather finally come to fully accept them. All I’ve got to say is we better find you soon, Jim, and we better find you alive, cuz I’ve got a lot to say to you kid… a whole hell of a lot.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: A very Leonard heavy chapter XD And I hope y’all are still enjoying this despite the horrible things I do to our boys, but I promise there are some good times ahead! As always let me know if you would like to be tagged, and thanks for reading <3 Tags: @goingknowherewastaken @bi-e-ne @weresilver-in-space @medicatemedrmccoy @reading-in-moonlight @resistance-is-futile81 @0dannyphantom0 @haveyouseenmymind @jimboy-mccoy @flaminglupine

9 notes · View notes