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lovelyirony · 5 years

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Made up fic title: i keep praying all day (all day long)// I'm Alive, Ain't That Enough?//you complete me// (I'll send more when i think of em)

Bruce Banner doesn’t really pray, hasn’t since he was around eleven and prayed to whoever would listen to take him away from his family. Then the police came and there was a funeral for his mother and he had to lie on the stand and say that his father was a very nice man, yes he was!

Prayer doesn’t solve anything. He supposes he knows that that is not the purpose, it’s supposed to help, but he just...doesn’t. It’s not the kind of help that he needs. Professional help is what he needs, but his insurance won’t cover it.

For a while, life was actually...okay. He was a grad student all alone at Culver, working on science projects. Working on that high of a level means you meet other people like you. You bond over having train-tracks for braces when you were in high school and relentless bullying by kids who thought they were better than you.

It’s kind of uncomfortable, how friendly people are when they know your circumstances. It’s weird that Bruce can ask someone if they just want to get lunch and there’s no double-edged sword hidden.

This is how he meets Betty, who smiles and laughs like she’s enjoying every minute of life. She is. He asks her about that, how she’s so kind and nice.

“If you can’t maintain kindness, how do you maintain anything else?” Betty asks. “I know what it’s like to have people make fun of me, and I don’t want that for anyone else.”

Bruce loves her for that. He loves her anyway, like the way her eyes light up when their team plays Trivial Pursuit on Sunday nights and she knows the answer to the obscure pop culture trivia from the seventies. He loves her when she asks for an obscene amount of sugar in her coffee and makes little snacks for the middle of the day.

He loves her when they’re lying in bed together and he can feel like his life is working out.

There’s a ring planned. He hasn’t told anyone about that. Ever.

Not since he got too confident and tried to harness a little power of God. Then he turned green, and that was enough.

He couldn’t love Betty. He wouldn’t let her try to be nice and sacrifice what her life should be for what it would be.

She wouldn’t like that he’s making that decision for her, but she would also probably say he was right.

So he’s alone in the world. The government keeps trying to find him, but so far they’ve had no luck. They’re starting to get frustrated, and Ross can’t keep his task force on for very much longer.

It’s sometimes fun, Bruce thinks. Sight-seeing with all this adrenaline and fear in his system. He finally makes it to Rome. He told Betty he always wanted to see the artwork.

She told him about the chemical analysis work she did, and the little coffee shop underneath a tiled building that served the best espresso she’s ever had.

He doesn’t find it. He’s not sure if that means anything. But he sits on a balcony and watches the sun rise and watches a guy give him a look that’s a bit too odd for Italy, and he knows he has to leave.

Not a lot happens, until he makes it back to New York. Or rather, a redhead spy convinces him to help find a magic cube and promises that the Hulk isn’t the primary reason for having him on-board.

On a gigantic, air-borne ship with pressurized air pressing in all around. Fucking great.

He meets new people. Natasha Romanoff, known as Black Widow. She looks at him like he’s a brand new species, nearly. He’s seen that look before. But he also thinks that it’s different, because she can’t kill him and it’s known that Black Widow can kill just damn near about everyone.

Captain America, a man so out of his depth that he can’t help but be the odd one out. He looks at everything and he’s confused, maybe by all the buildings and people and the fact that nothing is the same and it won’t be. Ever.

Not gonna lie, Bruce is kind of glad that for once it’s not him that’s the Very Odd One Out.

Tony Stark is a headache and a half, but Bruce finds himself not minding that so much. Tony doesn’t give a fuck about Hulk.

Bruce knows why.

It’s not because he’s a billionaire who thinks he’s immortal. No, Tony Stark knows that his mortality is unbearable.

But he’s also of the type that would give his life if you casually asked him to. He smiles the way Bruce does when he needs to just get through something. It’s painfully familiar.

Bruce thinks that maybe Tony Stark, if he had been at Culver, would’ve been invited to Trivial Pursuit Sundays.

And then Thor. A giant man--a god, some say, but Bruce isn’t really keen on actually saying that--who is...different.

He handles Hulk like a damned pro. He’s not easy to take down. And Bruce is a bit interested in his perspective of things, if they all survive the imminent alien invasion that’s set to take place.

He really wishes he could get drunk. Or maybe just slightly buzzed. It would make this transformation shtick so much easier.

But after everything, turns out they’ve won. Hulk is even tired. This has been the first challenge for him since...ever.

They eat food together at a restaurant that really should be closed, but he’s too tired to care about it and sits next to Tony, who’s still contemplating his own “small death” and a guy named Clint, who is apparently very good at shooting things with a bow and arrow.

He catches Thor’s eyes, and he smiles.

“You did well, Banner.”

“Uh, thanks.”

Because, you know. Eloquence. That’s exactly what Bruce has when faced with the king of Asgard and supposed god of thunder.

But he doesn’t have to worry too much about that when he hops into Tony’s ridiculous-and-loud-sporty-vehicle and heads to a lab.

“It’s gonna be Candy Land, trust me,” Tony says.

“I don’t trust you, but I do trust that,” Bruce says with a laugh. Tony grins.

“I think I’m gonna like you hanging around.”

Bruce then figures out that Tony’s heart is about the size of the gigantic tower he’s built, because Bruce doesn’t have to go apartment-hunting. Or pay rent.

“I can handle it,” Tony says. “Just try not to hulk out in the living room, there’s a custom art piece that was gifted to Pepper. She’s fond of it, but I hate it. So I guess in a roundabout way, as long as Pepper thinks that it’s an accident, feel free to destroy it.”

“Noted,” Bruce says, bewildered. Tony talks extremely fast, hands making gestures to emphasize certain points. If he wasn’t so dedicated to inventing and building the future as the present, Bruce is almost certain that he would be quite a celebrated actor.

After some time, it seems the Avengers drift together again. Natasha shows up for breakfast one morning, as if she’d been there the whole time.

“Pass the preserves, Bruce,” she says. He does and goes to find Tony to ask when she got here.

Tony yelps, rushes up, and scolds Natasha for not telling him.

“I’m not done painting your room!”

“What color?”

“Olive green.”

“Oh my god, no.”

“It suits you! Pepper approved it and everything! So did Bruce!”

“I did?”

“Well, not really. I think you were in a science-induced haze and said yes to everything I asked. You said your favorite era was ‘yes’ so I thought that meant you liked all of them.”

“Oh. It’s the seventies.”

“Figures,” Natasha says.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bruce questions.

“I guarantee all you have in your wardrobe is maybe four casual t-shirts and maybe one pair of jeans.”

“I have two pairs of jeans, thank you very much.”

“A man full of surprises,” she remarks, smiling coyly. “Tony, Clint’s coming at the end of the week. He’s finishing up a mission in Iran. Something about tracking down a woman for a gift.”

“Well, best of luck to him and all that,” Tony says. “Do you think he’d liked striped pillows?”

“Vertical or horizontal?” Bruce asks.

“Horizontal. I’m not a heathen.”

“Tread carefully,” Natasha says. “More than two is a no-go.”

“Got it. Jarvis, be an absolute dear and put that in my notes?”

“It should be common sense, Sir,” the AI responds, a bite of sass. Bruce smiles. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to that.

Clint trips out of the elevator, says he’s finding a bed, and Bruce doesn’t see him again until he goes to his room to change into one of the four casual t-shirts that Natasha says he has and finds the archer on his bed.

“Well okay,” Bruce says. “Might as well.”

Clint comes down for dinner and announces that Bruce has a very comfy bed, but should invest in more pillows.

“You have, like, two.”

“I don’t really sleep with pillows.”

“You don’t?” Natasha asks, surprised. “That’s...bad.”

“Why? Can’t handle that I don’t require pillows?” he teases.

Steve comes next. He brings a nice old-fashioned suitcase, the kind that begs for stickers to be plastered all over it. He doesn’t have any, not yet. He tells Bruce that New York has changed, although the only real thing that he truly hates about it so far is the subway system.

“Used to just get on,” Steve grumbles. “And security wasn’t as tight.”

“You still manage to get around it?” Bruce asks, amused.

Steve’s cheeks turn red and they find out that “America’s Darling” hasn’t gotten a MetroCard, doesn’t like paying for it. He’s been finding different areas under construction or charmed certain officers into letting him pass.

“Please tell me you used your lack of technological information,” Tony begs. Steve blinks.

“No, I haven’t. But I’ll use that for next time! That’s a good idea!”

They fool Steve into trying wasabi that night. It’s the hardest Bruce has heard Natasha laugh.

A couple of months go by. They get comfortable with each other, close in a way that Bruce has never been. Clint gets him snacks without even asking. Just comes up to his room, sets the hummus and pita chips on the bed and asks if they can watch the cool documentaries.

Then Thor comes back. He’s been dealing with a lot of ruling technicalities, although his father has regained strength.

“He seems more active,” Thor says, grinning. “I think he’s going to try and interact with the community more.”

“That’s nice,” Bruce says.

Thor is...different. Not just because he pretends he doesn’t know what a microwave is because he wants to hear Steve’s rantings all about how “the microwave is the absolute best thing the twenty-first century has done, are you kidding me?! Who cares about anything else?”

Not just because he speaks with a lilted accent and sees with eyes that are older than they actually know. He talks about meeting humans thousands of years ago, talks about how no one could have imagined what would come for the future.

It’s because Bruce pays more attention to him. To his arms, the way he says things, and everything else.

But it’s fine. Things are fine. He’s focusing on doing some of his lab work and trying to make Tony see that a Rocky Horror Picture Show movie night would be beneficial to the team.

(And not just because he bet Natasha forty bucks that he could get Steve to dress up as Dr. Frank-N-Furter for Halloween, but mostly because of that.)

The days get shorter, the nights get longer, and the weather is colder. Bruce can’t say he really likes it. He’s been living in the cold a long time. Tony, arguably, handles it the worst.

“I have decided I think we should all move to the west coast,” Tony announces, shedding four of the six layers he’s put on himself.

“And what, become the West Coast Avengers? Sounds lame as fuck,” Clint says with a snort. “Who would want to make that?”

Bruce nods.

“You’ll be fine, Tony. Get some blankets and some hot cocoa.”

Thor is the Avenger who loves the season the most, arguably. Steve’s more a Christmas fanatic, and has been blasting Bing Crosby ever since the end of Thanksgiving.

(Natasha has been a Christmas Music Purist, and this was getting on her nerves until December first, when she rolled into the kitchen blasting “All I Want for Christmas is You.”)

But Thor loves seeing snow, loves walking out to get a hot chocolate and seeing the city during the cold. He thinks the jackets are intriguing.

He also doesn’t really need one. He just wears a long-sleeve sweater and calls it good.

Bruce thinks he looks great.

“You want to get some hot chocolate with me?” he asks Bruce one afternoon. It’s been slow today, and Bruce hasn’t been able to focus on anything.

“Why not?” Bruce says with a shrug. “Let me get my stuff on.”

Bruce prepares well for the trip. He gets his boots on, a heavy jacket, and a hat and gloves. Thor smiles.

“I like the hat, Bruce.”

“Thank you,” Bruce says. “Present from a cousin.”

They walk out into the freezing cold, and Bruce can feel his nose immediately turn red from the air blowing wildly. It’s the kind of cold that cuts right to your bones.

“I wish I was like you,” Bruce says, sighing. “It’s too cold.”

“I like it,” Thor says. “Reminds me of how much my brother and I loved the cold. We had a holiday during this time as well. The cold.” Bruce nods.

They get to the shop, frequented by over-stressed college students and a pair of old men playing checkers in the corner, books tossed aside.

Bruce orders cocoa with Thor, and they sit down.

Thor is a surprisingly good conversationalist. Well, not really surprising. Bruce has seen him mingle at parties, able to talk to anyone with no sense of nerves. But what he is surprised about is that Thor can follow along with the work he’s doing, even going to suggest his own theories or knowledge from Asgard.

“When did you get an interest in all this?” Bruce asks. Thor smiles.

“I have to be well-rounded to assume the throne. To not be knowledgeable is to be a foolish king. But I like knowing about life and it’s creation. Our scientists are also very...interesting. They make the best drinks.”

“Chemists here,” Bruce responds, laughing. “I had a couple of friends like that.”

Bruce learns about Asgardian drinking games, the kinds of food they have for their holidays, and what Thor misses most.

“I do like earth, however,” Thor says. “Your people are less--oh damn, I can’t think of the word.”

“That’s okay,” Bruce says. “I get it.”

And he does, to a certain extent. Thor grew up as a member of the royal family, his father a legend even to other people.

Hot cocoa trips become a regular occurrence, until it starts to get a bit repetitive and Bruce offers to show Thor some breakfast meals that are good, like peanut butter and banana-cinnamon toast.

They cook for each other. Bruce shows him some meals.

The thing that makes Bruce realize Everything is when Thor brings some kind of fruit from Asgard.

“You have to try this,” Thor says excitedly. “It’s the best fruit ever.”

And Bruce realizes that he loves Thor. That he wants to take him to dinner, to kiss him breathless, and to go on romantic dates that involve candlelight and soft laughter and and and--

Oh shit.

It feels complete, somehow.

Bruce smiles at Thor, and thanks him.

“This is special,” Bruce murmurs. “I appreciate that you went all the way there.”

“No big deal,” Thor says, smiling. “Not when I care about you so much.”

There’s something else there, but Bruce thinks his bias might be showing. He brings Thor into a hug.

“Well unfortunately for you, I have no magic ability to summon myself to any other part of the country to get you a specialty, so making black bean soup tonight will have to do.”

“My favorite!” Thor cheers.

“Exactly why I’m making it, a favorite for a favorite,” Bruce teases.

Thor smiles at him, and Bruce knows that there’s no going back.

He helps chop the celery and strain everything for the soup. Bruce hums to an old song that Thor sometimes sings on rainy days, when everything is gloomy and comforting.

“You hum beautifully,” Thor says, sweeping the vegetables into the pot. “I enjoy hearing it each time you cook.”

“Then I’ll cook more often,” Bruce says, smiling. “I think Pepper requested a chicken dish from us tomorrow.”

“Who knew we’d be such a great cooking team?” he teases.

Bruce turns on music, and Thor sways to the beat. He likes the older music more, including the old-school love ballads.

It’s Nat King Cole, one of Bruce’s favorites.

He sings “L-O-V-E” in the most ridiculous voice and prances about the kitchen, and this is what this song is for.

They dance together, soup be damned. Bruce laughs as his socked-feet slide on the floor, pushing his body more towards Thor’s.

The song ends with Thor dipping Bruce low, breathing only a bit faster. He looks up, and decides to go for it.

“You gonna kiss me?”

Thor is an excellent kisser, Bruce decides.

“Been wanting to do that for ages,” Thor says. “I was actually going to ask if you wanted to go on a date Friday.”

“I would love that,” Bruce says. “What time? I have a meeting at lunch.”

“Dinner then,” Thor decides. “The burger place we went to a couple weeks ago? You liked their sauces.”

“Ooh, good choice,” Bruce says, smiling. “I would love that.”

They smile at each other as they dish out the soup. It’s nice, honestly. Thor lingers a little bit closer, and Bruce holds on for a bit longer.

He may not believe in prayer. But he doesn’t need to, not when he has this family that’s come together and a love that’s unmatched.

#holy SHIT this is long #i spent all day on this one oops #lovelyirony writes #thorbruce #betty ross #bruce banner #thor #avengers as a family #natasha romanoff #tony stark #steve rogers #clint barton #listen they BOND okay

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mafiamamaj · 5 years

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Here's an Endgame fix-it I would love but don't have the patience to write.

So, Steve goes back in time. Everybody's all pissed because its so out of character, and why is Peggy worth more than Tony or Bucky, all that. But, hear me out.

Steve goes back and the first thing he does is find Peggy and Howard. Convince them its really him, somehow get them to believe the time travel nonsense, all that. They play it up like he survived the crash and found his way home because it's only been like, a week, if that, since the Valkryie went down.

Steve gets Howard and Peggy to help him look for Bucky. He has a vague idea of where he should be at this point, but no solid details, so it takes a little while. This derails any interest Howard had in the Manhattan Project, especially since Steve is Very Vocal about his hatred of the idea.

(Now, I dont have the knowledge to even begin to theorize what would have happened in a reality where Steve Rogers was around to Loudly and Publicly as Captain America declare his disapproval of something as huge and significant as the Manhattan Project. For the sake of my brain, we are going to say that they met a lot more resistance than they otherwise would have, but it still happened because the American Government is awful.)

They find Bucky within a few years of Steve's crash and survival. Obviously he's still all kinds of fucked up because of torture, experimentation, cryo, etc. But 5-6 years is a whole he'll of a lot different than 70+. Shield still gets built, honestly Steve couldn't imagine it with any other name, but Bucky's return reveals that Hydra is still around and that Operation Paperclip was a bad idea (Zola). So they clean house early. Peggy becomes Director because Howard is to busy with his tech, and Steve and Bucky both said no. They do work for the newly built Shield though, running ops and hunting Hydra. They also might as well be married. Its still illegal for the time, so they're careful, but all the people who matter to them know and none of them care that the Captain and his Sargeant are doing the horizontal mambo.

Steve was friends with Tony, even if it didn't work out that well. And for all their differences, well earned and understandable, Tony and Howard had a lot more in common than Tony would ever want to admit. So Steve learns from the mistakes he made with Tony, and keeps Howard from turning into the monster he was in Tony's memories.

He mother hen's Howard into drinking less, drags him out to socialize more(Bucky is a huge help with that), calls him out when he's being a dick, and puts him in his place when his ego, or his head, gets too big for his britches.

Howard gets Steve to actually sell his art, builds him neat gadgets and armor, teases him to no end about Bucky, and is consistently endangering both of their lives on his never ending quest to get Steve drunk. (Bucky might have more sense than both of them, but he's also an adrenaline junkie with a hard-on for mechanical anything, so he is no help whatsoever and Peggy constantly despaired that the fate of the world lies with these overgrown children.)

When Howard marries Maria, Steve stands up for him at the wedding. The first time Howard made Maria cry because he ignored her/forgot something important/said something mean without meaning too, Steve beat him over the head and gave him a Captain America lecture, made Howard bake an apology cake himself, then dragged Howard back to Stark manner to apologize. The second time it happened, Bucky showed up in whatever place Howard had fallen asleep, dressed in full combat gear, cussed him out in Russian and threatened to shoot him. The third and last time it happened, Peggy showed up in Howard's lab, had him tied up before he even new she was there, and calmly informed him of exactly how she would torture him into a slow and agonizing death, as well as how exactly, she would get away with it.

Howard still forgot things, and could be careless with his time, but they never let him get bad, never let him forget how much he Did Not deserve Maria. And when Tony was born they were there for him. Steve refused to let Howard ignore his son, dragged him (figuratively) the first time Howard showed any sign of jealousy towards Tony. It wasn't perfect, nothing could be. But this Tony would grow up with a bumbling inventor of a father who was only forgetful and easily distracted, rather than an alcholic with a mean streak. He would have a mother who wasn't afraid of her husband and would love him even if she didn't always understand him.

He would have a godfather, his Uncle Steve, who would teach him to fight, to stand up for what was right no matter what, who would play games with him, paint with him, love him.

He would have his Uncle Bucky, who would share his interest in all things mechanical, would listen to music with him, take apart and build machines with him, teach him dirty jokes and play pranks on his Dad or Uncle Steve, who would listen to all of his ideas and tell him he could do anything.

He would have his godmother, Aunt Peggy, who would teach him how to play the game that is high society, would teach him how to charm the socks (rather pants) off of anyone, male, female, or otherwise, who would help him when emotions got to difficult, or people didn't make sense the way he thought they should.

Steve would find the others too. Phil did alright on his own, but everyone else...

Shield would be looking for the Red Room from the start. Maybe they find Natasha as a child, or a teenager, but they would find her, because Steve would want to save her after all the times she saved him. She would get placed with a loving family, probably a shield agent and their spouse. She would have therapy, but even a couple of years with the Red Room would mess her up. She would eventually end up an agent herself, still the Black Widow, just a little less damaged. A hero because she wants to be, knows what it means to be saved by one, rather than a way to repent and repay the lives that she took.

They would find Clint probably around the time Barney and Trickshot turned on him, before he had a chance to start on his mercenary career. Therapy, maybe a shield agent foster parent for a year or two depending on his age. They would make no secret about recruiting him, but he would jump at it. Nat would probably already be there, and nothing would stop that friendship. Coulson is probably a few years ahead of them, though not many, and if there is anyone who could reign in Hawkeye, even a slightly less damaged version, it would be Phil Coulson.

Tony meets Bruce. Howard takes Steve's admittedly limited knowledge of Bruce's past and tracks down the kid. Creates a scholarship to get him to a private school and away from his dad. They meet at a Stark expo in their early teens and immediately hit it off. Bruce is one of the only people who can keep up with Tony's genius. When Tony ends up at MIT (sometime between the ages of 14-16) Bruce ends up at Harvard. They share an apartment, because the dorms would have been a disastrous idea. Steve and Bucky live with them because they might be super geniuses but you can't send two teenagers to live alone in another city Howard! Especially not when they have access to dangerous and/or explosive chemicals/tech!

Likely, Howard will still die at some point, probably from all the liquor. Fury will probably still end up as Shield's director because neither Steve or Bucky will want the responsibility. Tony will take over SI, but will still eventually hire Pepper, and eventually promote her, because running a company is never going to be his thing.

Bruce will probably still end up at Culver with Betty, if only because he's actually halfway decent at the whole teacher thing, and the Hulk incident will likely still happen one way or another. Having Steve Rogers alive would not stop men like Ross from wanting the serum. Instead of disappearing for years on end, He'll end up in Tony's tower in NYC. Tony will likely still be kidnapped, though he probably would not have the Obadiah Stane factor involved, and would still end up as Iron Man.

They would "find" the Steve still frozen and thaw him out around that time. Play it off like they found someone for Old Steve to pass the mantle onto. Give Young Steve a new identity, and a family in Old Steve and Bucky.

Young Steve would make friends with Tony, would have time to grieve his lost world without an alien invasion. Would move into the tower and mother hen Tony the way Old Steve used to do to Howard. Tony would not have all the Cap resentment he did in the original timeline, so he would get to know Young Steve as just Steve. Would be able to see him as an entirely seperate person from his godfather, because they are two separate people. Young Steve and Tony would fall in love.

Even if they weren't running it Old Steve and Bucky would still have a hand in Shiled. Would keep an eye on Natasha and Clint. They would have likely met Tony, Bruce, and Young Steve. So when the Chitauri roll in, the only one that wouldn't already be a part of the group is Thor and he fits in seamlessly. Coulson might still get hurt, but Fury wouldn't have to fake his death, because the Avengers would have been a team years before they were needed.

And when the time came to face Thanos again, they would do it as a united front, and they would win. Because together, they are unstoppable.

#avengers #avengers endgame #avengers endame spoilers #endgame fix it #tony x steve #stevebucky #steve rogers #stevetony #stony #stucky

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pass-the-bechdel · 6 years

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Marvel Cinematic Universe: The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Two (20% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Eight.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Not as bad as everyone seems to remember, but also, not good.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Martina barely has lines to start with, and she’s not even in the same country as Betty, so...no.

Female characters:

Martina.

Betty Ross.

Male characters:

Bruce Banner.

General Ross.

Joe.

Emil Blonsky.

Stanley.

Jim Wilson.

Samuel Sterns.

Tony Stark.

OTHER NOTES:

Bruce sees a bunch of guys harrassing Martina, and he almost walks away to avoid a conflict that could set off the Hulk, but then he thinks better of it and comes back to confront the guys and save the girl. It’s a shorthand way of showing the audience that Bruce is a good guy, not letting his own fear get in the way of doing the right thing, blah blah. I support that message, obviously, but I do wish they wouldn’t use ‘woman in jeopardy’ as their go-to method for proving something about a man. Martina only exists in the film for this purpose, she’s just a pretty prop so Bruce can prove his morals, and that’s not cool. Female characters existing only as props is not cool, and violence against women being used to demonstrate/further a man’s story isn’t cool either. Get a better lazy shorthand, movie.

Lou Ferrigno cameo is clearly the highlight of the whole film.

At least 60% of Betty’s lines are just her saying ‘Bruce’ with different intonations, usually as a question. “Bruce?” she whispers. “Bruce?!” she calls. “BRUCE!!!” she screams. She also almost definitely yells it in slow motion with the sound cut out during dramatic climactic points in action scenes. I don’t know, I didn’t think to take note of that.

Oh. This movie. It might be the first of the MCU films I ever saw, back before they had committed to the idea of actually doing a Cinematic Universe, so it was just ‘a Hulk film’ that I watched, filed as ‘bad’ in my brain, and never revisited again, even after the MCU got going in earnest and - years later - I got sucked into the vortex and wound up watching and re-watching all the movies in order. It’s easy to leave this film out of the chronology (and many people do); despite a totally pointless scene with Tony Stark at the end of the movie, it doesn’t actually tie in to the rest of the MCU in any meaningful way, and as an intro to the Hulk it isn’t really necessary: firstly, because most people who don’t live under rocks already know who the Hulk is from popular culture, and secondly, for anyone else, they get a perfectly serviceable introduction to him in his next film appearance (The Avengers), in which the role has been recast with Mark Ruffalo, who plays Bruce Banner/Hulk in every future MCU film and leaves this Edward Norton vehicle as a weird outlier better forgotten than incorporated into one’s understanding of the character. Edward Norton is a fantastic actor who has done so much great work over the years, but this was not a good role for him, and having rewatched this movie now nearly a decade after seeing it the first time, I’ll probably go back to giving it a miss whenever I trawl through the MCU. It’s a film with, basically, nothing to offer, neither as a standalone nor as part of a wider franchise. That’s a pretty sad indictment, but there it is.

Is this the worst film in the MCU pantheon to date? Probably. Not absolutely - I think the door remains open for debate (the other contenders for the title, we’ll get to in due time). The thing is, this movie is not as bad as history remembers it: most of it is actually fairly decent. Not remarkable, not impressive, but decent in the sense that it is stock-standard playing to expectation, it isn’t making any negative waves, it’s just there. The bad rep this movie has is owed almost exclusively to the way it ends, with an embarassing and meaningless Hulk/Abomination battle in which the CGI is absolutely not capable of upholding even the basic visual storytelling of two beast-creatures whaling on each other. Bonus features of that fight include: Hulk clapping his hands to put out a fire and SAVE HIS LOVE, and a truly abysmal use of the iconic ‘HULK SMASH!’ line. By the time the final fight mercifully ends, any and all goodwill the rest of the film had built up has been obliterated, much like the neighbourhood and the lives of all those poor collateral-damage civilians that no one cares about. Some beast-creatures whaled on each other in shitty CGI. That’s what we came for, right?

What makes this ending so particularly bad is how out-of-place it is in the rest of the narrative. Yeah, we 100% EXPECT a Boss Battle at the end, because that’s the formula for these things, but the movie does a really awkward job of not actually building up to that climax in a meaningful way that lets it feel earned rather than perfunctory. Let’s rewind; the premise of the whole film is that Bruce Banner is trying to keep his Hulky genetics out of the hands of the military, specifically a program overseen by General Ross, who happens to be the father of Bruce’s former co-worker/lover Betty, because of course he is. This detail is not actually important for any reason, it’s just an excuse for Bruce and Ross to conflict over Betty like she’s a cool shiny object, because ultimately she has no more narrative function than Martina the hot Brazilian chick. Anyway: Bruce is on the run from Ross, Ross is on the hunt for Bruce so that he can experiment on him forevermore, and Betty is there sometimes to say Bruce’s name as a question. Ross chases Bruce with lots of army guys, Bruce Hulks out at various points so that the action sequences can involve more than Edward Norton running away, and there’s a long-term goal for Bruce in the form of getting some Science to another Scientist so that they can Science a cure for his Hulky genes and he can stop running once and for all (it doesn’t work). It’s not a very inspiring script. It’s fairly straight-forward and predictable, but there’s nothing especially bad about it other than the pointlessness of Betty (the same as this is a front-runner for the MCU’s worst film so far, Betty is a strong contender for Worst Inclusion of A Useless Love Interest). Norton may not be a great Bruce Banner, but he does a solid job of giving weight to Bruce’s plight, and the overall effect is at least passable as a film, if forgettable. The problem here is Emil Blonsky, the marine tasked by Ross to head the operation to capture Banner, and the man who eventually becomes the Abomination whom Hulk battles in that cringe-worthy film climax. And the problem with Blonsky is not that he’s some kind of weak link in the script. The problem is, he’s the best character in the movie.

Maybe it’s just that Tim Roth is too good for the material (he is), but Blonsky is easily the most dynamic person in an otherwise flat film, and he’s the only character whose narrative arc isn’t instantly predictable the moment he steps on screen. He’s a consummate soldier, all about the job, and getting into the thick of things himself to make sure it gets done right. His road to becoming Abomination begins partway into the film, as Blonsky grapples with the aftermath of his first encounter with the Hulk - for which he was brutally unprepared due to Ross’ failure to provide essential mission intel - which led to the death of many of Blonsky’s men. As Ross comes clean about the super-soldier serum experiments that created the Hulk, he plucks at a few delicate nerves, noting the physical toll that years of service have taken on Blonsky’s body. Blonsky laments that he can’t take the experience he has now and put it into the body he had a decade ago; Ross suggests that, maybe, they can arrange something kinda like that. It isn’t played as outright manipulation - Ross has just told Blonsky that there were other experimental treatments in the same line as Banner’s work, and Blonsky knows what conversation they’re really having and has already seen what the side-effects could be if it goes badly - but there is plain prompting from Ross, to say nothing of the treatments he then actively facilitates, most notably the second dose which he offers despite having originally stated that if Blonsky experienced any adverse effects (which at that point he has, in limited capacity) the treatments would cease. It’s a situation in which Blonsky rapidly loses his agency, and for which Ross isn’t even a little bit blameless. What’s significant about this is not just that Ross is the ‘villain behind the villain’ in this case, but that Blonsky really...isn’t a villain in the first place.

Now, ‘villains’ in stories (and especially comics) who start out innocent/unlucky/well-intentioned and then become twisted are not uncommon, but the key to making those narratives work is that the story acknowledges the pathos of that journey; that this person never meant to end up as the villain, and it’s a sad turn of events that brought them down that road despite themselves. This is where things fall apart for this movie, because they kinda, oops, forgot to either (1) make Blonsky’s pre-serum behaviour clearly villainous, or (2) match his unwilling descent into villainy with a tone of empathy and regret for how his character has been turned astray. He isn’t presented as some paragon of goodness to be torn down, but he also doesn’t act maliciously or imply that he draws sadistic pleasure from his work. He consents to that first dose of serum, but it isn’t for evil reasons, he’s not bloodthirsty, he’s not going after the Hulk as a personal vendetta: the primary emotional motivation he displays is curiosity. He wants to get the job done, and he recognises the threat that Hulk represents, and he’s interested in finding out exactly what kind of a world he’s just been looped into. He may be antagonistically positioned against the protagonist of the film, but his intentions aren’t reprehensible from any angle. Thing is, the serum he takes is depicted as having a narcotic effect, impairing his judgment and fostering an escalating addiction that ultimately creates the Abomination; it’s all downhill for Blonsky after that first dose, the situation spins wildly out of his control, and he loses himself in the process. This is where the pathos should fit in as an essentially good (or at least neutral) person is lost to this drug, but it doesn’t. Instead, Blonsky becomes Abomination for the final act of the movie, and all of his characterisation evaporates so that he can just mindlessly smash things for no apparent reason. If he had been shown to be someone who engages in unnecessary violence and/or enjoys it at some prior point, then Abomination would be an escalation of existing villainous predilections, and it would work, but that isn’t the case. Where Hulk operates off an established base of anger/raised heart-rate/physiological response to heightened situations, and his destructive tendencies and absence of higher cognitive functions make sense in that context of reactionary hind-brain behaviour, Abomination has no established parameters or reasons for developing as he does, and searching the only information we have - Blonsky’s characterisation - for answers turns up no satisfactory results. Abomination’s rampage has nothing to do with ‘getting the job done’ (Banner is in Ross’ custody by that point in the film, in fact, so the job is already done), nor does it have anything to do with the Hulk himself - Blonsky and Banner never had specific personal beef with one another that would make a final confrontation meaningful (Bruce doesn’t even know who the Abomination is/was) - so Abomination’s entire existence feels pretty pointless. It’s just there so that Hulk can pick on someone his own size.

The final fight scene is objectively bad from a technical standpoint, with the dodgy CGI and the way-too-corny contrivances and the muddy uninspired visual mess of it all: it’s just plain bad to watch, but it is also not only devoid of emotional relevance or weight, it’s devoid of emotional logic. We’ve watched this process of Blonsky ‘becoming a monster’ in a literal sense, and it’s been the only part of the movie with any life in it (it’s not a deep well of complexity, but again, I think it works because Tim Roth is fucking making it work), but a boss fight is not a fulfilling conclusion to that narrative because we haven’t been given clear stakes in the outcome. Considering that Blonsky ends up a victim of Ross much the same as Bruce Banner is, it really should be Ross’ villainy that is ultimately defeated to bring us a satisfying conclusion, but the film forgets its own narrative in the course of pretending that Blonsky was the main bad guy all along, to such an extent that it bizarrely turns around and rewards Ross in the end. After transforming into Abomination, no one so much as suggests that Blonsky is still in there somewhere (his name is not even mentioned), he’s just a beast-creature now, and Ross gets to keep him and do all that fun experimenting that he wanted Hulk for this whole time, and no one challenges the idea. Remember how the whole movie was about Bruce trying NOT to get caught and experimented on forevermore by the military? Remember how that’s supposed to be a bad thing that Good Guys want to stop? Eh, who cares? Apparently not Bruce Banner, whose upstanding morals don’t extend far enough to want to save anyone else from the fate he has thwarted for himself. Not very heroic, just kinda leaving some other dude to take your place. As hardcore as Bruce was about keeping the formula out of Ross’ hands, etc, apparently he has no qualms about this derivative, and he just whistles on out of there, and that’s it. The end. Not a second thought for Blonsky’s fate, no fulfilling closure for Bruce’s ACTUAL villain beef with Ross, the bad guy gets what he wants and no one cares, the good guy completely forgets the ideals that he was fighting for the entire time and therefore kiiinda renders the whole journey of the film pointless, and worst of all, there’s no sense that the story comes to these conclusions deliberately, that it’s supposed to be off-kilter in any of these ways. It’s like they got to the final act and literally forgot everything that had happened in the film previously so they just stopped without actually closing any of the storylines, it’s a totally incongruous ending.

I’ve focused largely on how much they screwed over Blonsky in this process because I considered him the film’s saving grace the rest of the time, but really, the ending screws over every character, theme, and narrative thread in the whole story, and that’s the huge disconnect that leaves the audience remembering a bad film, not just a bad ending. Granted, it wasn’t a good film to start with, and if you were less engaged with Blonsky than I was and you didn’t latch on to one of the other slim elements the story offered instead, then the whole thing turning to shit in the end really can’t have been much of a loss. It’s not that they didn’t, at moments, have the makings of something that might be good, or glimmers in scenes that suggested a quality idea that might have shone if someone had polished it a little better. For anyone reading this and going ‘well, don’t you know they had loads of behind-the-scenes issues with redrafting the script and other bullshit?’, yes, I am aware of that. Thing is, it shouldn’t matter. A 150-million dollar major Hollywood franchise project doesn’t get to use ‘oh, we just didn’t really bother making sure the script made basic sense before we filmed it’ as a valid excuse. If everyone’s doing their jobs properly the way they should be at this level of the industry, then the audience shouldn’t be able to see your BTS issues bleeding all over the finished product; major script redrafts should be a Did You Know? trivia point, not an ‘oh, NOW I get what went wrong here’ explanation. At the end of the day, no one cared enough about making this a movie that would matter in the long run for an expansive Cinematic Universe. Tanking the whole film into a forgettable mistake that viewers would gladly leave out of their Marvel marathons was, ultimately, the one thing they did successfully.

#Marvel Cinematic Universe #The Incredible Hulk #MCU #Bechdel Test #female representation

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hulksmashin-bannerpackin · 7 years

Text

Hearts Mend

Pairing:  Bruce Banner X Reader

Summary: Sequel to Heartbreak! You do have to have read the first one to understand it so here it is:

Heartbreak

It had been a year and a half since Y/N L/N had disappeared, a year and a half since she had left a hole in the heart of the Avengers and a year and a half since Bruce refused to stop looking. Whenever he had free time he was finding new ways to track her down. He scanned the news for any sign of a glimpse of her, he built machines specifically designed to track her energy signature he even resorted to weaving codes into the internet he knew she undoubtongly would see asking her to come back.

Bruce sighed for the umpteenth time as yet again he came up with nothing again. His heart sank as he he heard the alarm signalling there was a mission, that meant he’d more then likely have to end his search for today. He thought about all the times Y/N never gave up on him, all the times she helped calm the other guy and all the times she noticed when he was having a bad day and did whatever she could to make him happy. He couldn’t give up on her, not after all the times she never gave up on him.

He stood and felt the bones pop in his crack as he stretched to his full height. He hoped there wouldn’t be a code green today.

————-

Bruce sat huddled in the corner of the jet listening to his headphones, he tried to calm down but all he could think about was how he and Y/N had sat down together and designed the playlist after Tony had bought Bruce a brand new iPod and pair of headphones. The other guy was getting harder and harder to come back from and Bruce knew that it was directly his fault, he almost wanted to stay and smash, vent out all his frustrations and stress at the lack of success in finding Y/N.

He clicked his iPod off and pulled off his headphones, there wasn’t much of a point it wasn’t working so he tuned into the conversation.

“You need to treat this more seriously Tony!”

“I am taking it seriously.” Tony said choosing to ignore Steve’s glare. “And I seriously think it doesn’t matter. Their weapons are always flawed in some way or another, we can still take them out.”

“Steve is right Tony. The fact is AIM’s tech has gotten significantly better in the last year and it’ll only mean problems if it keeps improving.” Natasha pointed out as Tony simply rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know Nat, I’m with Tony on this one.” Clint spoke up as he was fiddling with one of his specialty arrow heads. “They send em in and we knock em right out.” He simulated shooting a bow and arrow while making a little whoosh noise.

“I too agree! They haven’t made anything we haven’t been able to take out yet.” Thor smiled triumphantly in agreement.

Natasha rolled her eyes.

Men.

She turned her gaze to Bruce, noticing he was watching their conversation.

“What do you think?” She turned around fully to face the scientist, her eyes slightly softened.

Bruce gave a small shrug, averting his eyes and pretending to be disinterested. He ignored the rest of the conversation.

—————-

One day Tony ended up finding Bruce sitting pathetically on the floor of his lab surrounded by broken equipment. It had all just gotten too much for Bruce, he let go, he hulked out and ended up destroying all the work he put into finding Y/N.

Tony stepped out of his Iron Man armour and grabbed a lab coat draping it over his friend with a sad gaze. “Bruce, I think it’s time to stop looking for Y/N…” Tony said quietly and reluctantly. Bruce didn’t move or speak, opting to continue to stare at the floor for a while before he exhaled and nodded. He supposed the time finally came to give up.

I’m sorry Y/N, I failed you…

—————

Bruce tried to move on and for the most part it worked. He continued to work and fight and build. He helped Clint design arrows, he had movie nights with Tony and he spent evenings with Natasha. Everything was relatively normal again. Except the dull ache in his heart always remained. The tinge of anger that still flared when he saw internet articles with wild theories about what happened to Y/N, most of which did not put her in a good light.

He just felt incomplete again. He use to feel like this when he was on the run and he had honestly thought the feeling went away because he joined the Avengers, lived comfortably again and had friends now and to be fair most of it was but he lost the feeling of completion when he lost Y/N. It reminded him of the pain he felt whenever he thought about Betty.

How could he be so stupid as to loose two women who had loved him? How could he be so stupid as too continue his relationship with Natasha when he didn’t put his whole heart into it? He had always been close friends with Natasha, they understood each other on a deeper level so they had a stronger connection and he supposed it was because he was so selfish that he didn’t want to loose another important person in his life. It was times like this Bruce remembered what a terrible person he truly was.

————————-

“I don’t think this working out anymore.”

Natasha announced, startling Bruce and causing him to look up from his Starkpad.

“Wha?”

“Us.” She interrupted. “We should break up.”

“Natasha I-”

Once again Bruce was interrupted albeit in a gentle manner as Natasha sat down beside Bruce and held his hand. “I don’t want to loose the close friendship that we have, other then Clint you’re the only person here who understands me.”

She placed a USB in the hand she was holding. “I found her.” Bruce’s eyes widened as he looked almost dumbly at the USB in his hand.

“How?” His voice was quiet as he closed his fingers around the small device.

“There are some things that a computer can’t do that the Black Widow can.” Natasha said proudly.

Bruce pulled Natasha into a tight hug. “Thank you Natasha, you mean so much to me.”

She accepted the hug and allowed herself to enjoy the moment. “And you know I adore you.”

————–

And so Bruce Banner once again took the roads and traveled alone. The difference was he wasn’t running, he wasn’t heading anywhere without a direction or purpose. Now he had a goal and he was going to bring Y/N back.

It took Bruce awhile to find the little down in Alaska she was hiding herself away in. She was definitely off the grid, it was a wonder how Natasha had found her. He got off the bus he had taken and looked around breathing deeply. The air was so fresh. He smiled as he thought for a moment that maybe if he found her they could stay here together, so he could selfishly keep her to himself but he shook the thought from his head. Their place was home with the Avengers.

————

Y/N was sitting at her work bench drawing up designs when she heard her door knock. She narrowed her eyes and cautiously made her way to the door. She wasn’t expecting anyone so she she focused her energy ready to blast whomever the intruder was if they were dangerous. She opened the door and gasped when her eyes met the beautiful brown ones she knew so well. She quickly attempted to slam the door closed but Bruce quickly stuck his foot out, grunting slightly as it stopped the door, he channeled some of Hulk’s strength to force open the door.

Y/N squeaked as she stumbled backwards. She got her footing back and still backed away from Bruce. “How did you find me?” She refused to show how happy she was at seeing him. She scanned him quickly, he looked scruffier then usual, unshaven and he somehow looked more tired then usual and that was saying something as Bruce more often then not looked tired.

Bruce was doing the same as Y/N, eyes taking in her appearance, his hands twitched at his side at how much he wanted to pull her into a hug and never let go. There was so much he wanted to say to her. A thousand possible things words his lips wanted to spill but he could only manage out one small sentence.

“Come home.”

Y/N blinked in surprise before frowning and looking away from the man she longed to see again for over a year. “Bruce, I can’t. You shouldn’t of come.” She said quietly.

“No. You’re lying Y/N. I know you are. You have to come home. The team isn’t the same without you.” Bruce stated stepping closer to her, closing the door behind him.

“I can’t come back Bruce.” Y/N started to tear up and Bruce couldn’t take it anymore. He crossed the small distance between them and pulled her into his arms. Even if Y/N wanted to pull away and fight she couldn’t. Her body moved on its own as her arms wrapped tightly around Bruce’s waist. She inhaled sharply as her head dipped against his neck and she started crying.

“It’s okay.” Bruce placed a hand against her head, holding her in place against him, where she belonged. “I’ve got you now. It’s okay.” Bruce let her cry and held her, trying to remember everything about this moment, take in all the details. He felt the hole in his heart finally start to mend and he knew that she was the reason. “Please come home.”

Y/N finally pulled away, breaking from his grip and wiped her eyes with her palm. “I can’t Bruce. I’m sorry I can’t. Please, leave.” She couldn’t do it, she couldn’t be reunited with Bruce and have that taken away from her by knowing she could never have him. “I can’t go back…” She walked to her work bench, indicating Bruce to follow her as she placed her hand on the large sheet of paper spread across the bench.

“They’d never, accept me back…”

Bruce’s eyes followed her hand. “Y/N…” He knew what the drawings were as soon as he laid eyes on them. “Why?”

“They helped me fix my suit… I was out of control then. I could of killed myself but more importantly I could of killed other people.” She looked at her drawings of weapon designs, when she started running AIM approached her and she had reluctantly agreed to help them build weapons in exchange for a new suit that could channel her energy powers safely. “I always built in defects though, they never noticed. I always made sure they weren’t strong enough to stop you all.” She smiled sadly. “The Avengers would never take me back. You shouldn’t either Bruce. Forget me, go back with Nat and be happy.”

Bruce slowly approached her and once more pulled her into an embrace. “We broke up, we figured we worked better as friends. Besides I got a letter and I found out the one I loved more then anything had actually reciprocated my feelings.”

Y/N’s eyes widened and she craned her head to look up at Bruce only to feel his lips pressed against her own. She was frozen. She couldn’t comprehend what was happening. So she shut off her brain and let her heart take charge for once and kissed him back, allowing all the hurt and all the passion to pass through her.

“Come home, if you don’t I’m staying here with you but… Everyone wants you home Y/N.” Bruce said after he pulled away from her lips, keeping his tight hold on her. Y/N smiled shyly as she allowed herself to enjoy the hug, for the first time in years she finally felt… Complete…

“Okay.“

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#bruce banner imagine #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner #hulk #incredible hulk #hulk x reader #hulk imagine #avengers #marvel #avengers imagine #bruce banner fanfic #natasha romanoff

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maidenofiron157 · 6 years

Text

@artistic-ape YOU ASKED FOR THIS

the BASIC PREMISE is that Steve is Raleigh and Sam is Mako. or the other way around. either way. that’s what started it:

Steve n Bucky were a pilot pair vis a vis Raleigh n Yancy for their jaeger Avenger Maverick, and Bucky was killed (or lost his arm, but ‘killed’ fits the movie more and also makes it sadder, lol) in a kaiju attack and Steve had to kill the kaiju and pilot it back to shore alone, where he then left the program because of trauma, which, y’know. understandable. he comes back after Fury goes to recruit him bc jaegers are dropping like flies and the kaiju just keep coming, where he meets ~*~Sam Wilson~*~, the love of his life, who has also been recruited by Fury after having been out of the game for a while after losing his own partner, Riley, and their jaeger, Falcon Dynamite

when they get there its the last open shatterdome in the world bc every other world politician has decided to back General Thaddeus “Shitstain” Ross and his frankly fucking idiotic pacific wall program. there are still only four jeagers available - Aurora Immediate, piloted by Wanda and Pietro Maximoff (think the Kaidonovskys); Strike Team Delta, piloted by Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton (think the Wei triplets; more about them later); and Guardian Renegade, piloted by Thor and Loki Odinson. (think the Hansens; also more about them later)

Panther Maelstrom, piloted by King T’Challa and Princess Shuri of Wakanda, had to leave the program when their father died to take over ruling in his place, but are still helping on the sidelines by providing new technology and calculations and such when and where they can. Defender Olympia, piloted by Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson, was taken out alongside Terra Infinite, piloted by Peter and Gamora Quill, several years earlier after fighting the first Cat 3 on record, though all four pilots did manage to survive thanks to the escape pod tech they had available. (can you tell how much I don’t like people dying lol.) they have not reentered the program bc the program no longer has the money to afford to make new jaegers, and theirs were unsalvageable

Iron Roadhog, piloted by Tony Stark and James Rhodes, had just recently been knocked down for the count au-timeline-wise - Tony came away pretty banged up but otherwise alright, but both of Rhodey’s legs were broken, so even if their jaeger wasn’t completely unsalvageable anyway, they wouldn’t be piloting it any time soon, so both of them have been working with Bruce Banner, Betty Ross, and Jane Foster on breach calculations and how to stop the kaiju in the mean time. their jaeger was the only one that could fly for any length of time on its own aside from Falcon Dynamite (Roadhog utilized thrust from blasters, while Falcon utilized built in jetpack-and-wings combo to get some lift; both worked fine). Tony and Rhodey designed that thing from fucking scratch, and it was one of the best and oldest. the two of them actually worked a little (or a lot) on all of the jaegers, and they feel the hit every time one of them goes down. it primarily used missile, laser, and blaster/repulsor tech as its main weapons; it was also the only one to use an arc reactor to power it, as Tony didn’t trust anyone else with the technology, since practically anyone could get their hands on a jaeger when it goes down, especially in the sea, what with the currents. (cleaning Roadhog up to make sure no arc reactor debris made it into the wrong hands was an Event)

more on Wanda & Pietro: they’re still mutants, but not, like, “artificially made” I guess, they were born that way. the drift makes things really weird for mutants, its been found out, because apparently their powers can transfer in the ghost drift afterward. they don’t keep them, but its wildly disconcerting. their jaeger has a hard time keeping up with them (a giant metal robot can only move so fast no matter how fast you run), but it can handle Wanda’s whole... energy... thing... fabulously. they can make all kinds of weapons with it, its very versatile, which makes Aurora very, very effective

more on Nat & Clint: originally I was gonna go full-on Wei triplets and give them a three-manned jaeger w Coulson as the other piece, but I’m still not 100% on if I want him to be a jaeger pilot or want him to be like Tendo coaching from the sidelines. either way, Clint 100% calls their jaeger ‘STD’ for short bc he’s a little shit and Natasha always hits him for it. their martial arts training doesn’t translate well in a giant body often weighed down not just by itself but by water, but they make it work, and they have built in crossbows on both arms, to utilize Clint’s special skill-set, as well as what can only be described as giant wrist tasers (Widow’s Bites) to pack a punch

more on Thor & Loki: they are still asgardian in this au. just bc I want them to be bc how fucking awesome would an asgardian jaeger be. especially with those two, lightning and vicious storms in the middle of the ocean fucking up the kaiju, meanwhile, Loki has fucking magic, he could make illusions to confuse them, or conjure fire, or ice, or giant blades - its endless. (the only problem for him would be power, but maybe the drift w Thor would amplify it too? who knows!) to be fair though, their first drift was... Not Great. as a matter of fact, some would say it was a downright disaster. Thor fried all the circuitry in the room and destroyed another in a rage, while Loki, ah, vomited, and accidentally dropped the aesir glamor he had, showcasing all his blue glory while simultaneously freezing the entire room. they are very drift compatible (98% in fact, right after Steve n Bucky and T’Challa n Shuri, with Wanda n Pietro taking to top slot of 99%, and Tasha n Clint and Tony n Rhodey bringing up the rear behind them at a slightly lower 98% lol). their first drift was so disastrous because 1) sharing memories from hundred if not thousands of years, instead of just decades, and 2) the whole “you’re the golden child, Odin loves you more, he hates me, you hate me, everyone hates me, I hate me” thing w Loki kind of made Thor realize how fucking shitty his brother’s life was and what kind of impact he had on it and how pissed it made him at himself, and Loki realizing that Thor actually did love him, and just... ugh. brotherly bonding, afterwards. lovely. (I love Ragnarok can you tell)

ANYWAY, the rest of the movie proceeds as such: Steve and Sam, like Mako and Raleigh, test to see that they’re drift compatible (which or course they are), and their first official drift in the newly revamped “Falcon Maverick” goes as poorly as Mako and Raleigh’s because this time they both have shitty my-partner-got-ripped-out-of-the-cockpit-too memories. Sam’s is the one who chases the rabbit first, so to speak (like Mako). meanwhile, Tony, Rhodey, Bruce, Betty, and Jane are all working on the breach, and Tony and Bruce (mostly Tony) come up w the idea to drift with the brain segment they have (like Newt), which the other three resoundly dismiss because its practically suicide (like Hermann), but they DO IT ANYWAY because WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY HAVE TO LOSE. Rhodey and Betty wind up being forced to stay at the shatterdome for calculation work while Tony and Bruce go out to find another kaiju brain from whoever Hannibal is in this au, I have no idea, my first idea was Loki but I wanted him to be a pilot too badly to follow through with it SO, Tony and Bruce go out into the Hong Kong Bone Slums with, surprisingly, Jane in tow, as their babysitter to keep them from doing anything more stupid to compromise the mission, and those three together do the joint drift w the kaiju brain like Newt and Hermann and rush back to give the shatterdome the bad news

during this, Aurora Immediate, Strike Team Delta, and Guardian Renegade (like Cherno Alpha, Crimson Typhoon, and Striker Eureka) are battling it out in the Hong Kong harbor and actually, y’know, doing better, bc they have asgardians and mutants on their side, but its still pretty tight, so Falcon Maverick is sent out to wrap it up. they come out with no casualties, unlike in the movie, but Aurora Immediate and Strike Team Delta are still too damaged to follow through with Operation Pitfall, especially since they definitely don’t have the resources or the time to prepare them for it, so even though Wanda, Pietro, Natasha, and Clint are still alive they still can’t be of much use at that point (and they’re pretty injured, so), so Guardian Renegade and Falcon Maverick face it alone

like in the movie, two Cat 4′s and one Cat 5 leave the breach, but Guardian, having asgardian pilots, does better at fending them off, but they’re still losing. blah blah blah, they blow the bomb and make it out safe thanks to Loki’s magic and also their alien physiologies, and Steve and Sam go in to finish the job. it ends a lot like the movie after that, but with no dead bodies! ayy! good times

#avengers #avengers au #pacific rim #pacific rim au #samsteve #(arguably)#tonyrhodey #(also arguably)#Text Post #this thing is planned the fuck OUT I have WHOLE NAMES for these motherfuckin jaegers #I GOT this #artistic-ape #;)

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fictionalfriction · 7 years

Text

The Doctor

Fandom: Marvel Universe Characters: Bruce Banner|The Hulk, Natasha Romanov|Black Widow, Clint Barton|Hawkeye, Phil Coulson

Summary: Bruce Banner Hulked out in Mauritania and met Agent Phil Coulson for the first time. The Agent was so very different from other government agents he had met.

(There is some reference to the Ironman movies but not much.)

The first time Bruce Banner saw Agent Phil Coulson was after a Hulk out in Mauritania. He had fled to sparsely populated areas after the disaster in Manhattan in an effort to avoid the military and the world at large. He left Betty behind, no matter how much the Other Guy wanted to bring her along.

On that fateful day, he had Hulked out after a sandstorm threatened to overwhelm the tiny shelter he had built for himself just outside a city of Mauritania. Thankfully, from the bits and pieces he remembered, the Other Guy had rampaged away from the city, turning to the arid desert instead.

Which still did not explain why he was looking at a man in a suit in the middle of what looked to be a small outpost hastily built. He was also dressed while unconscious, which is a first after one of his ‘transformations’. Previously people had been too intimidated by the Other Guy to approach even after the dust had settled.

Interesting. It would seem that these people, whoever they are, had come prepared for the Other Guy and were none too impressed by him. At the very least, they were not scared enough to leave him alone after he shrunk down.

“Good afternoon, Dr Banner. Welcome back,” the suit said. “W-what? W-where am I? Who are you people?” Bruce asked, trying to get his bearings straight. It didn’t look like he had left Mauritania so whoever these guys were, they had been powerful to pursuade the government of Mauritania to allow a set up of an outpost not too far from their city. Or stealthy enough to do it without consent. Both of which did not spell good news for Bruce as usually any organizations able to any of the two would be at the very least para-military. The Other Guy was not fond of the military-type.

“I am Agent Phil Coulson, of SHIELD. You are still in Mauritania, Dr Banner, all we wanted to is to talk to you,” the man, no, Agent, said. “SHIELD?” Bruce asked, just because it was the easiest question and also because he was curious. Agent Coulson gave an almost imperceptible heave and spoke as though he had to said this too many times in the past, “Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistic Division.”

Bruce stared at him. He had heard rumours of the agency when he was still attached to the agency, but they were only just that, rumours. A top secret agency that operated worldwide? Impossible. Or so he had always believed until today.

“Okay. What does SHIELD wants from me?” He finally looked away, fiddling with the blanket on his lap. “We knows of your abilities, Dr Banner. We wish to recuit you to our agency. “ Agent Coulson said, almost gently. His arms were clasped in front of him, unthreatening but able to move in a split second if nececessary. He looked calm and unruffled.

By contrast, Bruce was not as lucky. “Y-you know about the Other Guy?” When Agent Coulson nodded, he went on. “Then you know that he is uncontrollable. He just mindlessly smash his way when he is triggered. How can you hope to use him?” Bruce was aware he was panicky at this point but he just cannot stop.

“Our analysts disagree with your assessment, Dr Banner. They are of the the opinion that the Hulk can be reasoned with and can be controlled. We hope that you will agree to join us. During the times when the Hulk is not needed, SHIELD will provide you with a lab for your projects.” Agent Coulson paused before adding the last part. “Your projects will not be in any way limited or controlled, by SHIELD. Instead, it will be like working with the university. Grants will be given, although more generous, and will not be limitless.”

“And if I refuse? What then?” Bruce laughed bitterly. “Have those agents you have stationed outside shoot me? If your analysts had forgotten to tell you, I Hulk out when I am shot at and the Other Guy is impervious to bullets. He will just go into a rampage and I really don’t want the blood on my hands. But I would rather blood than to go back to the military! So don’t say I haven’t WARNED YOU!”

Agent Coulson’s expression remained unchanged throughout Bruce’s mini-rant. It was very impressive, more so because at the end of it Bruce had been feeling a little ‘green’ and the words had come out with a growl.

“Agent, Dr Banner. But no, if you refused, then we will leave you alone. However, please be informed that if the Other Guy’s power is needed, SHIELD will be by again.” Agent Coulson stood up. He straightened his already immaculate suit. “Well, Dr Banner, SHIELD will leave you for now. Unless you want to come with us?” Bruce shook his head mutely. He could hardly believe it was so easy to get SHIELD to back off.

Bruce watched as the agent left the little outpost. He watched as another man joined him halfway to the curious flying machine they landed a small distance away, a strange intimacy in their interactions. Then he turned to return to the city of Mauritania.

He was not naive; although SHIELD had left him alone, and the two agents had climbed into the flying machine (Quinjet, he heard them calling it), he knew that it more than likely that SHIELD would keep an eye on him.

Bruce wondered where he can go next to escape the eyes. He had tried hiding in one of the least populated countries in the world, reasoning that the lack of people would make it hard for anyone looking for him to find anyone who know about him. But SHIELD had found him. He had to think who else may find him.

Well, hiding in a country with least population-density would make looking for him like looking for a needle in a haystack. Unfortunately, SHIELD had found the needle and he couldn’t help but wonder whether the other organizations also possess some magic tricks to find needles.

Therefore, Bruce decided to go into one of the most densely populated city in the world, Calcutta. If they can find the needle in the haystack, then he will have to hide the needle in a bunch of needles. Hopefully this time he can stay hidden longer.

“So,” Clint began as he meet up with Coulson striding towards the Quinjet. “Mission’s a bust?” “Not quite. Dr Banner is skittish and has good reasons to be so. The mission objective is never to get him to come to work with us, but to float the possibility of it and to show that we can be trusted.” Coulson had put on his sunglasses. With the suit and tie, he looked as he always did - just like any G-man. Nondesript and forgettable

“Oh.” Clint was silent for a second. “Agents to track but not interact?” “Yes, Barton. You have gotten quite good at this,” Coulson seemed almost surpised (not that his expression say much, but there was that small twitch to his eye and the way his stride faltered for the tiniest bit. Hawkeye noticed things, okay.) Clint shrugged easily. “Been working with you for 7 years, sir. Knew your methods well.”

“You mean 7 years since I rescue the other handlers from your antics, Barton.” The Quinjet started up easily. Clint was at the controls as usual, with Coulson in the co-pilot seat. “Well, if you want to put it that way, sir. Remember to treat me like a grunt in the fields and to ignore my input. Then maybe someone will have to rescue you from me,” Clint grinned as he manipulated the Quinjet to go above the clouds, the banter calm and soothing.

It was an easy mission, but he was still tense. Who wouldn’t be when they see a quiet man turned into a big, green creature who roared and raged, seemingly impervious to all any weapons. Clint had stationed himself outside when Coulson was talking with Dr Banner, one of his arrows nocked and ready. It was not his normal arrows, rather one of those R&D had specially made for him which may be able to pierce the skin of the Hulk and tranquilize him. Even then, there is no guarantee that he would stay down.

But now, home. Clint chuckled suddenly. Coulson looked over at him, a question in his eyes. “Nat would be furious with you when we get back, sir. You sent her to assess Tony Stark.” Coulson’s mouth twitched, but he said calmly, “As an agent, I trust Agent Romanoff will be most professional. Besides, Stark is not too bad once you get past that shiny exterior created to confuse and confund. I believe Agent Romanoff will be able to see past that shield and give the truest assessment of the man.” (Coulson was quietly furious when he realized that Natasha had been fooled by the exterior and given the assessment of ‘not recommended’. Natasha had spent a month on training the baby agents in hand-to-hand.)

#fanfic #phlint if you squint #the hulk #dr banner #phil coulson #clint barton #natasha romanoff

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