#and also my hader fic

[fandomtransmandom]

When I come up with a new, fucked up fic idea.

#bill hader #ao3 author #therapy #tw swearing #fan fic writer #fic writing #my therapist is kind enough to read my fics. poor man #minors dni #bill's wayward curls bring me such joy #also he's wearing shorts again in this interview. such a comfy king

[sillygooseassociation]

The Year of Us

Request: Holiday fic request: new years w/Jason first new years together fluffy or spicy whichever you prefer ♥️

Description: When Jason invites you to a New Year’s Eve party, someone’s jealousy runs wild but honestly? Might be the best for everyone.

Warning(s): angst, jealousy, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, i just forgot to include them talking about contraception lol, reader is on birth control)

Pairing: JRU, Jason Sudeikis x reader

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: and here it is! angst, smut, and fluff to ring in the new year. the origin story of our beloved JRU couple! while these are not published in chronological order, this shows how Jason and Y/N finally made it official! i think the order of reading the JRU and everything may be a little confusing, so maybe i’ll make a little reading guide? if you’ve read all of JRU, i hope you pick up on all the little callbacks, such as finding out where their little phrase comes from! anywho, happy happy new year, friends! 2022 has had some really sucky things for me, but it’s also had some absolutely amazing things like discovering ted lasso and the light it has brought into my world (plus jason, thank you god). ted and jason have then brought me all of you, my beautiful friends! i am so thankful for all of you and can’t wait for us to grow even more together in 2023!

-

To say Jason’s invitation surprised you would be a massive understatement. Sure, the two of you had hung out multiple times since his appearance on SNL at the end of October. But no one had truly made any moves and it was absolutely infuriating. Maybe you understood his hesitation at the beginning, he was in his late 40s and you were a young PA for SNL, he likely didn’t want to abuse any power someone could perceive him as having over you. However, after his flirting with you during your first real conversation, you didn’t think he would instantly dial back,

But alas, that’s exactly what he did. He spent probably an hour with you at the after-party, apologizing over a drink as promised, and he most certainly let his eyes gloss over your figure more than once, but that was it. You two had hung out almost once a week since then, yet no moves had been made. Could you make a move? Technically, yes. Realistically, hell no. What if you ruin this amazing friendship the two of you had formed just because you had the hots for him? What if he complained to his friends? And by friends, you mean what if he told people like Bill Hader? You’re pretty sure that means your life would be over. So pushed aside feelings and friendly touches on the arm were all there was.

That’s not to say you didn’t do certain things to perhaps prompt Jason to act on his flirty comments. Every weekly hangout, your pants got a little tighter and your neckline a little lower. And not that anyone could prove it, but any onlooker would think you were the most clumsy person ever considering the couple of times you spilled your drink on yourself, specifically spilling on your chest, drawing a certain someone’s attention to the area. Much to your dismay though, it seemed as if your efforts were failing, Jason flirting with you in almost each of your interactions but never following through to show you that he was serious.

So when he texted you to ask if you had any plans for that evening, New Year’s Eve, you were surprised. If he was asking, he must not have the kids, but wouldn’t he want to be spending the holiday with his friends? Ignoring your confusion, you tell him about the wine and leftover pizza awaiting you in your kitchen. After expressing his disgust at the pairing (though you know it's bullshit, the two of you had shared that exact meal at his place before), he tells you to be ready by 9 and then responds to none of your follow-up questions. “Geez, thanks, Jas…” You roll your eyes at the man, how were you supposed to even know what to wear if you didn’t know what you were doing? Surely he wouldn’t want to go out, New York is packed on any given day, nonetheless New Year’s Eve. Plus, you know how anxious he feels about paparazzi seeing you two and reading into things. Not that he had told you such, but it was easy to put two and two together when you only ever hung out at one of your places or a hole-in-the-wall bar with a back entrance.

By the time nine o’clock rolled around, you were anxiously pacing in front of your door, ready for Jason’s text that he was outside. You were dressed up more than normal, in a sparkling outfit that fits you just perfectly and definitely showed skin in all the right places. Were you too dressed up? You put on white Jordans to try and dress the outfit down, knowing heels likely be too much and would leave you regretting it the next day. But what if you still went overboard? Your anxious thoughts were cut off by the buzzing of your phone,

Balls Man: Here :)

If it were any other man or you lived in any other city, it would be a red flag that Jason didn’t come up to your apartment to get you, or at least meet you in the lobby. But with the busy and full streets of the Big Apple, plus the risk of fans, you understood Jason’s hesitation when he explained his texted arrival the first time he picked you up. Rushing out of your apartment and down the stairs, hopefully burning off some of your excited energy, a bright smile crosses your face when you see Jason’s car stalled in front of your building. Opening the passenger, you slide in, not surprised to hear a Mumford & Sons’ song playing, “Hey there, stranger.” You roll your eyes and look at him with a cocked eyebrow, “Really? Could you be anymore midwestern white dad in his 40s?” 

Letting out a hearty laugh, Jason nods as he focuses on the road, pulling into the street when the opportunity presented itself, “Alright, I asked for that one.” You chuckle in response, subtly glancing over to check him out, letting out a small shaky breath at the image of his flexed left arm out with his hand holding to the wheel, his right hand relaxing on the gear shift in between your bodies. You quickly have to ask him something or you may do something drastic and regrettable, “So, what exactly are we doing tonight?” Jason casually shrugs, looking over his shoulder as he merges left, heading in the direction of Manhattan from your Brooklyn apartment, “Thought we’d head to a party my friend’s having at his place. Unless you wanted to do something else, of course.” You hold in a laugh at the second part of Jason’s response, the man seemingly getting nervous over the idea of him just deciding your plans for the night. “That sounds great, Jason. Honestly, I’m fine with whatever, I’m just happy to spend the new year with you.” 

A blush rises to your cheeks as soon as you realize what you say, quickly turning away from Jason to look out the window at the passing buildings, a small smirk appears on Jason’s face, both at your words and your reaction. A silence falls over the car, save for the music playing, though the silence is comfortable, almost as though you and Jason had reached a spot where you don’t need to worry about filling the empty space, you can just sit, together. After about thirty minutes of anecdotes and stories from the week, your’s mostly about the SNL PA group chat and Jason’s mainly about his children, you arrive at a swanky apartment building. Jason pulls into the parking garage, presenting a guest pass to the attendant, hm, okay, this must be a pretty close friend if Jason has a parking pass rather than having to find street parking. 

The two of you get out of the car after he finds a spot and head towards the lobby door, walking close enough that the back of your hands brush against each other, though neither of you attempt to make a move. Clearing your throat, you look around, noticing how nice the cars are in the parking garage, okay, so everyone here is rich, “Um, Jason, how fancy of a party is this? Am I gonna be shunned for how I look?” Jason looks at you like you’re crazy and laughs, stopping when he realizes that you’re seriously asking, “Y/N, what, no, you look…” Jason looks you over, under the guise of examining your outfit though anyone would be able to see that he’s taking in your body, anyone but you apparently, “What? I look what?” Jason clears his throat, looking forward as he holds the lobby door open for you, speaking softly as you pass him through the door, “Perfect, you look perfect.” 

The elevator ride is silent, though it is a different kind of silence than the one in the car, the tension could be cut with a knife. Jason is positive that the tension is one of anger from you, that he crossed the line, meanwhile, your thoughts of mounting him then and there surely mean the tension is sexual. Before either of you can say anything, the doors open to reveal an apartment, your eyes widening slightly when you are reminded that some people have enough money that elevators can just open into their homes. You suddenly realize you have no idea whose house you’re even at, but before you can even ask Jason, a familiar face makes his way through the small circles of people talking, “Sudeikis! You made it!”

Jason Sudeikis was a fucking dumbass. Seth Meyers, that’s who lives here. Sure, working at NBC for a year and a half, you had passed him a couple of times in the hallway, but you had never had a conversation and you sure as hell have never been in his house. Jason and Seth meet for a hug before the two pull away, briefly catching up before Seth not-so-subtly points his eyes in your direction. Jason laughs at himself as he turns to you, putting his hand on your lower back, “Oh, duh, sorry. Seth, this is Y/N, Y/N, Seth. She’s fit so perfectly into my life, I forgot that not everyone knows her.” You’re 99% sure that you got whiplash from turning to look at Jason, but his attention has been caught by someone else and he’s telling Seth they’ll talk later, interlacing your fingers to pull you towards his friends. 

What the actual fuck is happening. Is this what heaven feels like? Or is this hell? Yeah, you’re holding hands with Jason, but it’s surely just so he doesn’t lose you in the crowd. There’s no meaning behind it, there never will be. Jason introduces you to the group, many of whom you recognize as different writers from NBC, including your idol, Amber Ruffin. Not wanting to make a fool of yourself, but also needing some liquid courage if Jason is going to keep touching you and breaking your heart, you slip your hand out of his, turning to head where you see a bar set up. As soon as your touch leaves him, Jason stops talking and turns to you, “Are you okay?” Turning back to him with a tightlipped smile, you give him a nod, “Yeah, just getting a drink. Enjoy your friends.”  Jason nods, though it’s apprehensive, wanting to catch up with his friends, but also not wanting to lose track of you in the crowded living room. 

At the bar, you make yourself a drink before hearing your name called, turning around to see Mark, a fellow intern from when you started at NBC. The two of you greet each other with a hug, “Mark! What are you doing here?” He fills you in on his job as a PA for Seth’s show while you tell him about working at SNL, “Wait, so how do you know Seth?” You shake your head as you take a sip of your drink, setting it down on the bar, “Oh, I don’t, just came with a friend.” Mark nods and you two catch up, laughing about your intern days and sharing stories from your current jobs. 

About twenty minutes pass before you feel a hand wrap around your hip and a chest meet your back, “There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.” Mark’s eyes widen when he sees who you came with, you didn’t think to mention that it was an NBC legend. “Y/N, you didn’t think to mention that you came with SNL royalty. Or that he’s your boyfr..” Before he can finish, Jason cuts Mark off, “Sorry, where are my manners? I’m Jason, and you are?” Jason lets go of your hip briefly to shake Mark’s, squeezing a bit tighter than necessary, though you are none the wiser, “M-Mark, Y/N and I were interns together when we started at 30 Rock.” Jason nods as he takes his hand back, putting his hand back on your side, a bit lower this time, resting just above your ass. “Oh great, well it was wonderful to meet you, but we really should be going. We were just stopping in.” 

You look to Jason in surprise, what was he talking about? He didn’t mention any other plans, you only got here like half an hour ago, why do you have to leave? Mark nods, the two of you wishing each other a happy new year before Jason’s fingers intertwine with yours, heading towards the door. After thanking Seth for having the two of you, Jason and you take the elevator down to the lobby, which oh my god, you’re just now realizing is the lobby of lobby baby. You cross the parking garage, only letting go of each other when you reach the car. 

This time the silence of the car ride is thick with discomfort. You are not quiet due to imagining sinful acts with Jason and you’re not enjoying peace with your company, you’re practically grinding your teeth out of annoyance. After an hour and a half in the car, your drive time tripled thanks to holiday traffic, Jason pulls into a spot surprisingly open in front of your building. “Y/N, I…” Jason is cut off by you opening the door, “Goodnight, Jas.” You get out of the car and slam the door, so frustrated that you didn’t even notice that you let your nickname for him slip, a nickname you hadn’t used to his face in fear it would cross the line. As you walk up the outside steps of your building, Jason chases after you, “Whoa, Y/N, wait please.” You whip around to look at him, tears of anger and confusion welling in your eyes, “What, Jason? What can you possibly say that will explain how you’re acting?”

Your raised voice catches the attention of those walking past, something you and Jason both notice. Looking at you with desperate eyes, Jason steps closer to you, though you still have the upper ground thanks to the steps, “Can we go inside and talk? Please?” Jason’s plea is dripping with emotion, how can you say no to him? It’s not like he actually did anything wrong, you just need to get over yourself and your feelings for him. Obliging his request, you enter your building, walk up the steps, and enter your apartment, Jason a few steps behind. He walked next to you, always. The only time he wasn’t with you was when he walked a few paces ahead of you to open a door. The man never left your side, and yet here he was, behind you. 

Kicking off your shoes, you walk a few steps out of the entryway so Jason can do the same before turning to him, your arms crossed and an angry expression on your face. Jason looks at you, the guilt in his eyes almost makes you break, but first, you needed to know why he was guilty and what he thinks happened. Jason takes a deep breath, looking down at his socks before looking back to you, “Y/N, I am so sorry. It was not at all okay for me to take you away from your friend. I don’t know what happened, I-I just saw you talking to him and I got so anxious and, and…” Jason cracks his knuckles, obviously regretting what he was about to say, “…and jealous, I was jealous.” 

Your jaw drops slightly as your eyes widen, “What the fuck are you talking about?” Jason runs his hand through his hair, the other on his hip as he starts to pace, “I know, okay, I know I have no right to be jealous. And you have every right to be mad at me for acting like a jealous psychopath. I know, we’re just friends and I’m a fucking grandpa compared to you and you would probably be so happy dating someone your age like Matt…” You hold in your snicker at Jason’s error of your friend’s name, also having to hold back from snorting at his stupidity, “I know, okay, I know that I am the worst and just ruined the entire fucking thing, okay? You just, I swear to god, every fucking time I see you, your shirts are lower and lower and it’s all I fucking see and it’s goddamn torture and now I just admitted to being a fucking pervert, oh god.” Jason sits on your couch, burying his head in his hands, freaking out over everything he just revealed meanwhile, you stand a couple of feet away from him, just watching him before you can no longer hold your laughter in. 

Jason lifts his head, looking like a mix of a sad puppy and a confused toddler, “Wha…” You round the table in front of the couch, sitting on wood furniture in front of him, your knees touching, “I know they say comedians can be dumb, but damn, you’re a fucking idiot.” Jason’s head tilts slightly as his brows furrow, “Okay, not the yelling I thought would happen, obviously you’re going for emotion warfare instead…” You stare at the man with love in your eyes as you chuckle slightly, here he is thinking he ruined everything and yet he’s still cracking jokes, he absolutely amazed you. “Jas, I’m not mad at you for being jealous, if anything, it’s actually really hot.” Jason’s eyes widen, obviously about to ask what you mean by that but you continue before he can say anything, “I’m mad that - well, not even really mad but - that you were fucking doing all these things and, and I knew you didn’t mean them. And holy fuck, I want you to mean them.”

You look down at your legs, anxiously rubbing your hands up and down on your thighs before Jason places his finger under your chin and lifts your head so you’re looking at him, “Y/N, I meant every single one of those things. When I said you looked perfect I meant it, I mean, fuck, you always look perfect. When I grabbed your hand because of the crowds, I wished I was doing that for the rest of my life. Everything I do, every act, every touch, I mean it. I just never thought it meant something to you.” You’re not even sure what to say, for the first time in your life, you’re speechless. To make up for what you can’t put into words, you kiss him. You wrap your hands around the back of Jason’s neck and pull him into you, your lips meeting in a sweet kiss. Jason’s hands grab onto your hips, holding on so tightly that even through your clothes, you wouldn’t be surprised if you have a finger indentation tomorrow.

Running your fingers through the hair at the base of his neck, you pull away just enough to speak softly, “Bedroom.” Jason nods eagerly as he meets you in a kiss again, both of you standing and messily stumbling to your room. Never breaking the kiss, Jason messes with the zipper on the back of your outfit as you stand at the end of your bed, “Fuck, need this off.” You whimper at Jason’s words, the easiest way to agree given your current situation. Finally, Jason pulls the zipper down, groaning when he sees your lacy set as your one piece falls to the floor, “You're telling me I could have seen this two months ago?” You giggle, attaching your mouth to the column of his throat, sucking deeply, as you mess with his belt. As your palm passes over his erection, Jason lets out a groan that you’re pretty sure is the sound angels make when you ascend to heaven. 

You begin to sink to your knees but Jason quickly stops you, grabbing onto your hips, “That sounds like a fucking dream, but right now I need to be inside you, is that okay, sweet girl?” A whine slips past your lips, tugging at his sweater before he pushes you onto your bed. Jason strips off all of his clothes, a moan leaving your mouth when you see his size and the precum leaking from his tip, “Holy fuck, Jas.” Jason practically growls at your comment, crawling onto the bed and laying over you, keeping himself high enough that he isn’t touching any part of you, “I need you to call me that for the rest of my life, honey. I’m all your’s.” A gasp leaves your lips as he slides into you, pausing to allow you to adjust. 

Your core clenches around him as you feel his cock throbbing inside of you, “Fuck Jas, need you to move.” Happy to oblige, Jason begins to rock in and out of you, bringing his thumb down to rub at your swollen clit, “Ya feel so good around me, honey. ‘s like you were made for me.” Jason pulls all the way out before plowing back into you, a cry erupts from your throat, your noises pushing him closer to the edge. “Hm, what’d you say, sweetheart?” As he asks you, Jason increases both the speed of his thrusts and the speed at which he’s rubbing your bundle of nerves. His lips attach to your collarbone, nipping at your skin and leaving marks, to which you bring your hands to the nape of his neck, pulling at his hair, “Y-yes, Jas. All yours.” 

Jason moves his head down slightly, bringing his nipple into your mouth right as he hits your g-spot. You cry out his name as you reach your peak, clawing at his back as you do so, your tight core seemingly holding him in a vice. Pulling off of your nipple, Jason watches you, in a trance, as you cum, “Never seen anyone look so pretty.” Jason continues to work you through your climax, his own groans coming out as his brows furrow, concentrating on reaching the finish line, “Come on Jas, need you to finish in me, bubs, wanna feel all of you.” Your words push him over, Jason filling you up as his movements still, his forehead falling to rest in between your breasts, both of your bodies covered in sweat. 

As your worlds seem to still with this change of your relationship, the world outside begins its countdown, the streets filled with cars and drunk New Yorkers yelling out starting at 10. Jason pulls out and lays next to you, the two of you staring into each others’ eyes as he pulls you close, your legs intertwining. As the crowd outside hits five, Jason places his hand on the side of your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, “We doing this? We starting the year with us?” You smile softly, giving a small nod as your faces grow closer, “I’m in if you are, Jas.” 

Jason returns your smile, “You and me, baby.” Your lips meet just as the fireworks go off outside, your heart feeling similar to the entire east coast right about now. The two of you pull apart, resting your foreheads together as you repeat the phrase back, “You and me, bubs.”

#happy new year friends! #i love you all!! #jason sudeikis #jason sudeikis fanfiction #jason sudeikis fanfic #jason sudeikis fic #jason sudeikis x reader #smut #angst #fluff #holiday fic #ted lasso #JRU

[gg-university-if]

Okay I have loadsss to say!!!

Apologies in advance! It's a long rant. I'm excited.

Spoilers below!

All my ROs are Male so hence the pronouns my MC is a MLM

1. Beck is the most adorable fucking thing in the history of everything. I love him. Omggggggggggggggggg just how could your brain even come up with such a bean of a dude. He seems so stressed but so sweet. I adored his interaction with Jason it was so funny to read. And how much he actually misses his friend. Loved that I can have a crush on him because come on.

On that note tho:

Can I throw Ethan off a bridge???? Like Jesus dude cut it out. I see I'm gonna have issue with him on a beck route because dude doesn't know when to take a step back and not come off as a di....dingleberry!

2. The farewell with the fam was bittersweet as my MC has very complicated feeling towards the parents but Jace is just the best brother ever. Makes me sad I'm an only child.

3. Sids cute. ♥️ just so cute. Friendly and funny. Quite charming.

4. R is such a little lovebug. I love how we cldnt say no to him. And I had to stand up for him because no one gets to push my roommate around especially if they are really hot.

On that note again: ugh I want to punch Hader so badly... but I also want to romance him.. but I also wanted to throw a can at his head..empty can.. calm down.. 🙄 he can be glad he's hot and that I'm Slightly masochistic when doing IFs.. I also go for the your an asshole but i like you routes.. unfortunately 🥲

5. F seems like he is soooo fun! Very charismatic and DRAMATIC lol

6. Question. You said we would encounter EVERY (yes i saw that) RO.... did I see correctly and is there a secret RO.. and does that mean they are in the chapter? If it's Ethan end me now. It's gonna be an enemy to lovers route cuz he is aloooot.

Hmm what else..

I love the little things. Like choosing our aesthetics. Clothes, dorm room set up. It's a nice touch in customization. You love us awww 😭

Was wondering about customization and if MC is gonna have the option to have any piercings or tattoos their family know nothing about.

Oh I did see a bit of a typo I suppose. After Haders scene and meeting F. After you choose your food in the cafeteria. Instead of saying as you take a "bite out of your chicken katsu curry" it says take a "sip" but that's all I noticed. Also if you ever need beta readers.... 👀👀👀👀

Overall I loved the entire update. I can't wait to interact more with everyone. And as I'm on a music scholarship Hader is gonna have to get used to my MC talking back 🙄 it's great. Your writing is great. This is so fun to read and reading it brought a smile to my face. Thank you for working so hard on it. ♥️

Spoilers under the cut, let's break this down!

I love, love, love all the detail!

So I'll try and answer or have a comment for each bit since you made so much effort to give me feedback when you didn't need to.

Fun fact: Sid and the male form of one of the ROs are actually holdovers from an ill-starred short-lived mlm fic I wrote before GGGLU ever existed.

1. I'm so glad you liked Beck! I was worried that people would get irritated with him or end up not liking his personality but I thought the way I wrote him was most authentic to the story I wanted to tell for his route. He's so exhausted but so willing to help and isn't that just the cutest thing ever?

Ethan is Ethan, you'll definitely get your chance to be snarky and put down some fighting words with Ethan in the future. Infact at no point do you have to come to like him for Beck's Route but I can atleast say that there is a reason that he is Beck's University BFF and to a certain extent in my mind it makes his character a lot more...understandable if not your cup of tea.

2. (Obviously) there's the death of the author and I don't get to dictate how others interpret my writing but I'm so glad that you saw it the same way that I saw that scene when I was writing it because to a certain extent parting is a bittersweet moment for the MC regardless of how they feel about Jace and their parents.

3. Sid is adorable, just a ball of pop punk flavored sunshine. Was definitely one of my favorite characters to write in this part of the chapter and as a music scholarship MC you might be seeing more of them...but I'll shut my mouth for now.

4. Yeah I had debated allowing the MC to deny R and totally skip the cafeteria scene but I thought it was more fun if it was a compulsory event and the idea that R already has so much sway over the MC is sorta funny to me.

Hader is a bag of emotions and definitely stormy ones at that, I can't promise he'll ever be B or R levels of adorable but I can say that Riley wasn't lying when he said Hader isn't always like that and that usually he's a little more hot than scary and broody than angry.

The intended effect for my Hader-mancers was that they would want to punch and kiss him at the same time and seeing as they were already simping I had to ramp up the punching bit.

5. Fred is also good fun to write, I keep on saying this but also one of my favorites to write this time round and also one of the hardest for me. I'm not naturally a very dramatic or big personality so it's hard to write someone who is naturally charming and affable, I'm happy it was able to work somewhat as intended.

6. Hehehe the secret RO is in the demo currently and seeing as they're already implemented it's not a particularly big deal for me to reveal them BUT seeing as you guessed wrong I guess I'll be keeping it a secret for a little while longer.

A little hint: part of the reason H is so angry has to do with our beloved secret RO.

7. Customization is going to come as necessary to the story, things like tattoos and piercings are planned to come in part 2 of chapter one.

At some point you'll have a chance to get bigger tattoos but so early in the story the only tattoos you can have hidden from your parents will be pretty small.

8. I do need beta readers 😭😭😭 but I don't know how to get in contact with anyone through the proper routes and I'm famously awful with Discord amongst my friends.

If I ever figure out how to set up a Discord or interact with readers outside of Tumblr itself through the proper routes of communication then you will definitely be at the top of the list!!!

Finally we're at the end, thank you for giving me such a comprehensive breakdown of your experience. I really couldn't and wouldn't be able to write if it wasn't for your encouragement and excitement to push me forward to write.

I'm glad my writing style is atleast palatable and I'm more than ecstatic that it was able to provide a momentary amount of joy when reading.

Thank you for reading!

#ggglu #author speaks #recer speaks #answered asks #gg university if

[missbabyjay]

New Beginnings - Bill Hader x f Reader

Part 1

Warnings: language! just some fluff, I'd also like to point out that Bill was never married in this dimension lmao. I'm hoping to make this a very detailed multi part fan fic. There isn't too much in this first part... i just wanted to lay out some background details for the remainder of the story! I am feeling really nervous to post this but hey! why not!

Word Count: 2.1 k

You are new to the SNL writing team and you quickly learn that it is impossible to not fall for Bill Hader at a rapid speed.

Part 2

MASTERLIST

. . .

The rain gently trickled against your window as you laid in bed, desperately trying to draw out your time soaking in the comfort of your pillows before you began your first lengthy day at SNL.

Wow. I'm really doing this.

You were nervous, and you had to admit to yourself the affect your feelings had on the motivation you so badly lacked for the day. You let out a groan, and half-heartedly threw yourself out of bed and proceeded to make your way to your washroom.

You should be excited for this.

The thoughts were rushing through your head at a pace you felt were uncontrollable, yet you continued with your morning routine. As the cold water washed over your face you felt a sense of transparency, and for the first time in the past week you felt as though this first day might not be as bad as you anticipated.

. . .

Growing up in a small town made the move to New York much more difficult. You always had an interest in writing and hoped one day you would be able to make a career out of it. Sure, you did stand up, but it wouldn't be able to pay your bills forever. You hopped between serving and bartending as it was a good way for you to make money through tips. Your family undermined your skills and that was just more of a reason for you to push yourself out of your comfort zone, and prove them wrong.

Thankfully you had spent a large chunk of time working in stand up comedy. You had travelled to many places throughout the country and wrote for not only yourself, but a handful of other amateur comedians. You lucked out while working a gig at a comedy club in New York City with a couple of your stand up buddies; John Mulaney just so happened to be at the show with the intentions of possibly scouting out a new writer for this season of SNL, as they were expecting one of the current writers to be leaving only a few months into the season.

As you finished your gig, you felt happiness wash over you. You knew that was your best gig yet. The audience had an energy unlike any other audience you had performed for.

You quickly headed to the bar afterwards, wanting to have a celebratory drink. As you stood waiting at the bar you heard your name being called from behind you, "Y/N Y/L/N?". You turned around, confused, because people didn't typically approach you after your gigs. You were still an amateur after all, and who would want to take photos with someone like yourself? But too much surprise you were face to face with one of your biggest inspirations; John Fucking Mulaney.

You felt your stomach turn while you were frozen with shock, "Y/N, right?" he spoke again with a cheeky smile, clearly recognizing your feelings of anxiousness. "Sorry, yes! That's my name! Don't wear it out!" you mentally face-palmed yourself after the words left your mouth with instant regret. But John just laughed, he was the last to judge someone with a quirky sense of humour as he was just the same.

After chatting for some time, John invited you to audition for a writing position at SNL. He enjoyed your sense of humour and thought you would be a great fit in the team, especially as he saw potential for the two of you to write together.

You could say your audition went well, as not only a week later you were contacted with the wonderful news that you were accepted on to the team. You felt so proud of yourself, knowing this is an accomplishment that many people don't get the pleasure of experiencing.

. . .

And that is how you ended up where you were on this dreary New York Monday morning.

Your apartment was small, but enough for you. As you finished getting yourself ready you quickly made a coffee, although the caffeine would most likely make you even more nervous than you already were to begin with.

I've got this. John Mulaney liked me. I wouldn't have passed the audition if they didn't like me. Snap out of this.

You were within walking distance to 30 Rock, so you began your walk embracing the cool colourless weather along the way. It's almost like nature was curing your anxious nerves. As you breathed in the cool air you felt your heart rate slow, and your mind wander to exciting thoughts, rather than nervous thoughts.

Will the members like me? I can't wait to meet some of my favourite comedians... Maybe my sketch will make it this week...

You approached 30 Rock and made your way up to the studio, not sure where to go or who to talk to. As the elevator doors opened you were met with chaos. The floor was filled with people. You assumed majority of these people were the ones working behind the scenes as you were only met with a few familiar faces. Suddenly, your eyes locked with a tall blue eyed man. Your heart rate quickly raised and goosebumps covered your body

Bill Hader. Holy Shit. He's beautiful.

He quickly rushed over to your surprise, and extended his arm to shake your hand, "My names Bill, I'm going to assume you are Y/N? John was telling me you'd be joining the team!". You quickly shook his hand, not wanting him to feel the sweat that had accumulated on your palms since you locked eyes with him. But my God, your knees nearly buckled the second you made contact almost as though you were melting to the ground.

Of course I know who he is. He's Bill Hader. Who doesn't know who he is? Holy shit we just touched.

He flashed you a nervous smile, "Here, follow me. I just saw John a few minutes ago. We'll hunt him down together" he said, followed by a cute little wink.

Just as you thought you had your nerves under control, the world around you felt as though it was spinning. You followed behind Bill through the chaos while he would glance behind him periodically to make sure you were still tagging along.

You arrived at a door that was briefly opened. Bill gently knocked and proceeded to open the door where you were met with John propped up at a desk twiddling a pen between his fingers with a concentrated look washed upon his face; "Y/N! Welcome to your first day!", he said with a big smile while wiggling his eyebrows playfully at you.

. . .

You spent your first day working alongside John, shadowing his work and learning the typical Monday schedule; everyone would settle down at a table, including the host, and sketch ideas would be thrown around. You felt quite nervous to speak up, but you and John had done some chatting beforehand and he assured you that everyone was eager to hear your ideas.

You threw some ideas out, but nothing really stuck, and that took a toll on your spirit for the week. Lorne wrapped up the jam session, and you met Bill's eyes as you looked up from your papers, you flashed him a small smile. It was almost as if he could notice the stress that had consumed you throughout the meeting. As you were grabbing your things and getting ready to meet with John in his office, you felt a hand gently placed on your shoulder; it was Bill.

"Y/N, is everything okay?", he said with great concern. What a sweet soul he has. You sighed, "Yeah, yeah, I just wish I would have been able to get a sketch into the lineup but it's okay, I guess." you said with a soft smile, "You wanna come to John's office with me?".

The two of you began walking towards John's office when Bill wrapped his arm around your shoulders and leaned in, "Seriously, don't let today get you down. You can help John and I write the Stefon sketch for this week. It'll be great". You felt like you were on a cloud. The feeling of his warm breath against your neck; the closeness shared between the two of you in that moment was never something you thought would occur.

Holy Shit. He just put his arm around me. What the fuck is going on right now... Is this really happening?

The two of you entered Johns room and from that moment on you felt a sense of relief. Being around John and Bill just felt right. You felt like a missing puzzle piece that was finally discovered; you felt like you finally found your place in the world.

The three of you chatted for awhile, getting to know each other on a deeper level. John had been working on SNL for three years at this point, and Bill had been there for six years; no wonder these two seemed so content with the regular schedule of SNL, the process was as easy as riding a bike to them. Whereas you felt the process was like a big cloud hanging over you, you were eager for Sunday to arrive already.

You told you life story to the two of them, leaving both of them to be surprised by the experiences you've had in the industry at the ripe age of 25. You felt so young and naive compared to them though. But their lack of judgement on you made you feel even more comfortable to open up to them.

. . .

The three of you finished your conversation and you said your goodbyes. As you walked down the hallway towards the elevators you felt relieved. Today went okay, maybe not exactly how you planned it would go, but it was okay. Not only did it end on a good note but you couldn't believe the instant connection you made with Bill. You tried to not be consumed in your thoughts; keeping a sense of clarity. You couldn't deny the way Bill made you feel, but it was only your first day and you needed to slow your eager thoughts down.

As you stood waiting for the elevator you heard quick paced steps behind you. You turned around and saw Bill nearly out of breath with his hands placed on his knees. "Woah there buddy, you okay?" you said followed by a few giggles, "I didn't want to miss you before you left, I was wondering if you'd maybe wanna grab a coffee and chat a bit more?" he said with almost a flustered look plastered on his face. "Yeah, sure." you managed to get out while feeling your heart rate rise.

He wants to spend one on one time with me?

Bill lead the way, flagging down a cab where he gave the address of a beloved coffee shop he would swing by before a long day at the studio. Little did you know Bill was excited to take you to one of his special places. He felt the same as you, eager to build your friendship and possibly one day be more than just friends.

The two of you conversed for a few hours. At first you felt tense, was this a date? No, no don't get ahead of yourself Y/N. Bill wanted to know everything about your upbringing. He seemed so interested in you and that made you fall for him even more.

"Do you live near by? I would love to walk you home if you don't mind", he said with a sweet, nervous smile. You felt so enamoured by the moment, "Absolutely, I would love that."

The two of you walked shoulder to shoulder through the busy streets of New York. Moments of silence would occur, but at no point did it feel awkward. It was comfortable silence. You kept catching Bill glancing down at you and you'd meet his face with a soft smile. The evening had been everything and more. And as the two of you approached your apartment complex you felt a sense of sadness. You didn't want the evening to end. You had grown so fond of him over the last few hours, your mind wondered where your relationship could possibly end up. He made you excited to be back in the office tomorrow.

"Well! Here's my stop!" you said followed with a giggle. You turned to face him and your eyes met. The both of you enjoyed it for a few moments before you smiled at Bill, "I'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early Hader" followed by a cheeky wink. "You betcha, Y/N".

You walked into your complex, shortly arriving at your front door. You entered your living room, placed your book bag down, and plopped yourself on the couch. It was time for you to get some rest before the frantic week that laid before you.

A new beginning, I cannot wait.

#bill hader x reader #bill hader smut #bill hader imagine #bill hader #bill hader fanfic #bill snl #snl imagine #snl fan ficiton #snl fanfic #bill hader one shot

[izzyspussy]

been obsessed w Freaky since it came out. fucking Love that movie, for a solid three months i was watching it 3-4x a day. i also plotted out a reddie fic for it but we see where that ended up. anyways, jst a big supporter of my friends watching that movie bc its not like,,, super great or anything but its also very very great at the same time yk? 💖

idk i don't think there's anything not great about it, except for a tragic lack of (further) indulgence in my own personal tastes and desires. the writing is funny, the acting is good, the costuming is like nothing special but it's contemporary so what are you gonna do really but it's good, it's transgender, the soundtrack is fun, i like the way the scenes are put together. i suppose the cinematography and the actual character writing are not anything special either, but really there's nothing about it i would say is bad tbh. like it's not groundbreaking but that doesn't mean it's not good. and more importantly i'm in deep romantic love with the concept and we are going to be married and adopt a dog together.

anyway it's the second time i'm seeing it. it really was formulated to make me personally go a little bit stupid. it's like a designer drug. or designer pussy. you know.

anyway, i must confess. i rewatched it very recently and re-entered my bill hader thirst era, and i also just now watched bodies bodies bodies for the first time and was like haha what if richie played the older guy (lee pace, but scrungly) lol wouldn't that be funny. but then he wasn't in it for long enough to satisfy me, so i thought to myself hm. what other horror comedy could i watch and imagine richie in. and so here i am imagining (periodically, because vince vaughn does do it for me as well hwjaskfjks + actually these characters are compelling enough that they take one in!) richie tozier playing the butcher lmfao.

#jack facts #oh to treat vince vaughn like a girl........................ #jack chats #horror tag

[fuji09]

🎤

🎶

💦

💍

💘

💘

📺

🎥

I feel like this ask is practically a first date 😘

🎤 - Top 5 favorite bands

Pierce The Veil, Of Mice & Men, Sleeping With Sirens, Bring Me The Horizon, The Aubreys

🎶 - Top 5 favorite songs?

Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri, Master of Puppets by Metallica, I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik, No Place In Heaven by MIKA, and KARATE by BABYMETAL

💦 - What makes you horny?

I'm ace so I don't really get horny. I enjoy reading smutty fics and books, I also enjoy sexy time with my partner(s), but it's not like a need for me. I dunno if this all makes sense. I do however, desire non-sexual physical touch. Like I constantly want to cuddle.

💍 - Marry me?

I'd need to be taken on a date first 😉

💘 - Be my tumblr crush?

I don't know, am I? If I am then I'm cool with it 🥰

💘 - Top 5 celebrity crushes?

Owen Teague, Bill Hader, Joseph Quinn, Jensen Ackles, and Paul Dano

🎥 - Top 5 favorite movies?

IT Chapter 1 and 2, Star Wars, The Skeleton Twins, Treasure Planet, and The Goldfinch

📺 - Top 5 favorite TV shows?

Supernatural, Stranger Things, American Horror Story, South Park, and Rick and Morty

#fuji rants #ask game #i think this date went well lol #i also feel like i overshared #its hard to only pick 5 things i love

[ollieismegagay]

No one else follows me on here but I'll bite, tagged by the gorgeous @highkingpenny

Currently listening: Revisiting my Linkin Park phase, especially loving Living Things and A Thousand Suns

Anti capitalism ftw

Currently watching: Just finished Better Call Saul and loved it so much -- maybe more than breaking bad?? I also just started Barry with some friends and god it's so good, Bill Hader is just amazing

Currently reading: I don't read much (oops) but naruto tumblr discourse is really interesting, there's some fun fics out there too. Also the one-shot manga that just came out goes hard, absolutely loving the Minato/Kushina content

Current obsession: XENOBLADE! Just started playing Xenoblade 1 on switch and it's a blast. My friend who's obsessed with the series hooked me onto it and I'm here for the ride. Loving this goofy jrpg where everyone's british for some reason

Don't have anyone else to tag lol whatever

#hi emma #linkin park #barry hbo #better call saul #naruto #minato namizake #kushina uzumaki #minato x kushina #xenoblade #shulk xenoblade #:3 #no but seriously theyre all british #Youtube

[z3nitsusgf]

HI VAL!!! i finally found the time to read the homelander fic you wrote because i was sooo busy and I LOVED ITTTT. youre making me feel a little insane....you never let me down🫂 it was perfection. it served cunt! people d1ed!!!

that soldier boy ficlet too.... oh u want me to be sick.

also barry berkman sexy is so real!!!!! i love bill hader too. i have always said this but roman roy/kieran culkin enjoyers are almost always bill hader enjoyers too. it makes perfect sense. -🦋

YOU ARE SO <333 I’m gonna kiss you

Also yes yes!!! I am a Bill Hader enjoyer, he is my scrunkly wife :333

#and what if I wrote for Barry #what then? #🦋 anon #valeries mailbox 📫

[curiositydooropened]

How about 6, 7, and/or 21 for your WIP?

6. Does this chapter/fic have any twists that you’re proud of?

All this fic is is twists, and I'm proud of all 👏 of 👏 them 👏. No, but honestly there's one moment that goes from heated fight to heated... something else. And it's juicy. It's very juicy.

7. What is your favorite scene you’ve written so far?

Okay this is full cheating because I haven't actually written it yet, but I was thinking about it on my walk this morning, and there's a scene with Argyle and the Reader, where he's telling her about the love of his life, and all she can think about is the love of her life... and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

21. Share 3 songs that would belong on a playlist for this chapter/fic.

Can't Help Falling in Love - Elvis Presley (duh), Forever and Always - Taylor Swift, and Bang the Doldrums - Fall Out Boy

(Thanks so much for sending these too me! I'm getting so hyped to get it out! Also, obsessed with that gif. Bill Hader is bae.)

Come chat to me about my current WIP!!!

#wip week #steve harrington fic #eddie munson fic #stranger things fic

[auralioness]

i had another dream i tried really hard to continue thinking about when i woke up and tried to fall asleep back into the dream

i’ve obviously been reading too many reddie fics lol, because it kinda ended up starring richie or someone kinda like him. eddie was in it too a bit at the end. i think its probably bc i see myself more in eddie than i do richie, but i love his character and i’ve been watching a lot of bill haders snl bits. it was like we were all friends

it was mostly a jumble of ideas, but it mostly focused around the will-they-wont-they at the beginning of relationships

it was also partially a hero thing bc it got a little fantasy/sci-fi at the end

i also remember wearing a really nice green satin dress

i wanted to sit with him bc we were at some sort of con/event, but i as a little shy bc i wasnt sure how he felt, but he ended up seeking me out to help me find my stuff since id left it behind

i guess my love languages are gifts and acts of service lol

but i ended up kinda helping avert disaster bc i knew what was going to happen-- which now that i think about it, is a pretty popular trope in a lot of the reddie fics ive read

idk i’ve enjoyed a lot of my dreams lately, but i feel a little bad that i dont want to wake up from them. in the sense that its like a story i want to continue to watch

#//dream #//personal

[fandomtransmandom]

Thank you for all of the amazing writing you do. I have been reading a lot of your Bill Hader works while recovering/adjusting to new life changes. To be completely honesty what got me started on your works was a combination of looking for Barry fics in general and.... Your amazing Dave McLean x OC fics. Dave... Just puts a smile on my face. Thank you for always highlighting the lisp <3 <3 <3 If you have a preferred way to receive fanart let me know, I really want to draw Dave with my own OCs now, but I also want to draw Barry requests, haven't felt this sketchy in years. Thank you!!

Aw you are too kind, thank you sooo much! I'm sorry to hear you're having a difficult time, but I'm glad Bill is making you feel better. I would love to see your fan art! If it's something you post for everyone, please feel free to tag me! Or you can DM me anytime (as long as you're over 18.) Thanks again for your wonderful compliments, they made my day!😊🧡

#ask #personal #Bill Hader fic readers are some of the best people in the world #i think because they emulate his sweetness #thank youuuu!!!

[thisgirlisonfayeeer]

me: I swear I'm gonna finish writing this chapter today.

*writes 5 words*

*blanks out*

*saves to drafts*

*blinks*

me: wtf it's been 6 weeks?

#fic #fic series #fic writer #i swear im gonna finish ch 3 of unforgettable huhu #and also my hader fic #ugh #writing #i hate myself

[neverwasreddie]

Richie would have loved SNL and would have been a huge Chris Farley fan (bc your favorite SNL cast is the one you watched with your friends in hs) but Eddie wouldn’t have been allowed to stay up and watch SNL, so at 1 AM Sunday mornings when the show when the show goes off he’d call Richie’s house, and Richie would be right by the phone to answer it on the first ring and he’d recap the show for Eddie and would practice his Voices replicating the best sketches of the night

#yes this is bc Richie does the Matt Foley sketch to break the tension in the fic im writing now lmao #also this is the rationale behind my bill hader obsession #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie headcanon

[eggocrumbs]

went wild last night

#reddie #reddie fanart #it chapter two #it chapter two fanart #it chapter 2 #it chapter 2 fanart #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #my art #bill hader #james ransone #photoshop cc #Also anyone who asks for the sad af reddie fic (upper right) #its ' in case you don't live forever' by beepbeeprichie (eds_spagheds) on ao3 #cry with me

[foodcourtdetective]

i’ll be yours in any way you’ll have me

summary: y/n waits for her soulmate to return from visiting Gene in the hospital, but there’s good news and bad news when Barry finally gets home.

tags: tw gun violence, tw anxiety attack, soulmate au, love at first sight, nods to canon but obvious twists on it, stressful plot with a happy ending

A/N: thank you for all of your lovely support! this is the end of the soulmark!au but I have another fic half-written if anyone is interested!

word count 1.7k

part 1 x // Part 2 x // AO3 x

Y/N was lounging on the couch, reading her psychology of personal adjustment textbook while mindlessly writing important terms in the notebook precariously balanced on her bent left leg. Barry was visiting Gene in the hospital; the couple had planned on finally celebrating the success of the scenes showcase after the pandemonium that had occurred opening night. Sure enough, Sally upstaging Barry in the scene and getting all the acclaim on the same night as Fuches escaping had been a bit of a dark cloud looming over her boyfriend. Y/N closed her books, her grad work forgotten as her eye caught the Catalina Breeze bottle displayed proudly on her mantle. She sighed happily before turning her glance over to Barry’s phone on the kitchen counter nearby. He had insisted on leaving his phone which her at all times so if Fuches was tracking their devices, the older man would think that Barry was always watching over his girlfriend. NoHank had given him a burner phone for when he had to leave her, even offering to stay nearby if Y/N needed backup.

She chuckled to herself, remembering the instant shine NoHank had taken to her. Any girl of Barry’s is a girl of mine. Despite the contention between the two criminals, Y/N could tell that Barry and NoHank really did have a strong connection. She could only imagine how excited NoHank would be for Barry when he finds out that he got the part in the Jay Roach movie after all. The leading man himself had yet to receive the news and Y/N hoped that the combination of Gene getting better and the huge career score would cheer up her soulmate when he got back. The rattling of the doorknob pulled her out of her happy thoughts, forcing her to confront the idea that someone was breaking into her apartment. Her heart jumped up her throat as she stood up, her books falling silently on the carpet as Y/N reached for the Glock 43 stored underneath the couch. Carefully tip-toeing to hide behind the kitchen island by the door, Y/N pointed the gun at the door with her dominant hand and speed-dialed the burner phone with her other hand. Despite herself, she thought back to how Barry had shown her these safety precautions and how goofy his long legs had looked as he crouched down behind their counter, how he had hindered her giggles with a hard kiss that somehow conveyed the severity of all of his emotions.

The phone was shaking as she raised it to her ear. “C’mon Bear, please pick u—“ her voice betrayed her fear as it cracked on her pet name for him, the one she had coined after comparing him to the teddy bear she used to cuddle as a child. Y/N’s prayers were cut off by the door swinging open, the lock successfully tampered with. She took a shaky breath and mentally prepared herself to jump for the intruder’s legs, to shoot— Her thoughts were interrupted as the intruder fell to his knees, revealing himself to be none other than Barry Berkman. She lowered the gun and put it down slowly, a choked sob of relief betraying her presence to him. He didn’t acknowledge her, staring at the floor with a hopeless look on his face as silent, angry tears streamed down his face. Y/N crawled over to his side, tilting her head downward to try to look into his big eyes.

“Bear-“

“Gene knows. Fuches told him I.. I…” Barry started hyperventilating, the raw emotions of guilt and hurt overwhelming him as his hands flapped like an actor trying to “shake it out.” Y/N intercepted his hands before he could punch something, her warm thumbs stroking his knuckles soothingly. Their soulmarks burned like they always did when they got closer to each other, still visible as his hands were surprisingly clean of any blood. He looked up at her, trying to read her face, trying to see how badly he had messed things up.

“How can he believe the man that framed him for murder? Besides, there’s proof that it was the Chechens…” she tried to reassure him.

“He told me to leave town, to never step into his class again,” he choked on his words, wheezing on the large gulps of air he was sucking in. Y/N shushed him kindly, pulling his long arms around her waist as she pressed her lips to his forehead. Her own hands left his so she could wrap her arms around his neck and stroke his hair, trying to envelop Barry in warm love as he cried into her CSUN sweatshirt. They sat there for a while until he pulled away, in awe of how she supported him unconditionally, without the same self interest everyone else valued in his relationship with them. Taking his observation as a victory, Y/N helped the assassin to his feet and walked him to the couch, kicking the books out of the way. As Barry hesitantly sat on the couch, Y/N pressed her hands atop his thighs and pressed her forehead to his.

“You sit here. Tomorrow morning, I’m going to call Leo and tell him that a con artist named Kenneth Goulet has been manipulating Gene and feeding him lies to isolate him from his loved ones. Then I’ll try to get him to let you go to class next week. You might have to pay extra the first couple sessions or lay low in participating but once he’s off his sedatives, it will be like it never happened. Okay?” She gave him a chaste but sweet kiss as he sat there, stunned by her calculated solution. Not paying his shock too much mind, Y/N headed over to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

“I don’t know if you’re hungry, I know hospital food is terrible. I’m going to heat up my Mediterranean food if you want some. Just promise me you’ll take me to that new hipster cafe next weekend to make it up to me, m’kay?” Pulling the plastic container out and placing it in the microwave, Y/N tapped a few buttons before turning back to him to tell him about the part he had gotten. Barry was looking right at her, a look of epiphany painting his face as he asked her a question that stopped her pleasantries in their tracks.

“Marry me?”

“What!?” She asked, bewildered by his simple request out of nowhere. Suddenly aware of what he asked, Barry sheepishly stood up and scratched the back of his neck.

“Well, we can’t actually get married on paper because of my whole fake identity thing and I know you’re still working on grad school, but you’re my soulmate, literally and emotionally, and I want to prove that I’m gonna spend the rest of my ugly life with you in it and oh god, this was too soon is it—“ mid-rant he noticed that Y/N had closed the distance between them, her face glowing with happiness and her eyes glistening with tears.

“Yes! Of course yes! I’ll be yours in any way you’ll have me!” Emboldened by her response, Barry picked Y/N up into a hug, spinning her around with the same strength that broke a man’s windpipe to share his love for her. As Barry set her down, he placed both hands on her beaming cheeks and laughed in disbelief.

“Wow, I’m sorry I had plans! I don’t even have a ring yet…”

“I do!” Barry pulled a pistol out of the back waistband of his pants, roughly pushing his fiancé behind him as he faced the doorway to the bedroom, the source of the strange voice. NoHank had emerged from Y/N’s walk-in closet with tears in his eyes and his hands in the air, a twinkling ring in one hand.

“What the hell, Hank??”

“I told you I would stay nearby your zuda!” NoHank lowered his hands as Barry stored the gun back in its original spot. The bald Chechen handed him the ring, a bright smile on his face.

“Thank you, Hank,” Y/N smiled at her friend, gesturing for Barry to put the blood diamond on her finger. He simply obeyed, his muttering under his breath about getting her a clean ring later quieted by her soft eyes.

“Oh this is SO beautiful!!! I have shipped you ever since you guys went to the shooting range together!”

“GET OUT HANK!”

“But-“ a flurry of movement and a warning shot cut short whatever NoHank was about to say, the bullet hitting the wall next to the memorial bottle. NoHank yelped, scampering out the bedroom window behind him. Y/N shook her head, a wry smile on her face as Barry made a show of putting his gun away.

“That was a little dramatic, Bear.” He shrugged in response, kissing her earnestly with a joy he had never known. This commitment wasn’t going to be easy with Fuches still at large and Gene still unstable, but the radiance of affection that swelled through his once empty heart told him it would be worth it. After a long, beautiful kiss, Y/N broke it with a smile and tilted her head up at him.

“So am I ever going to know your real name?” He looked down at her, a gentle flush across his features as he pretended to consider her request. Suddenly, Y/N found his lips tickling her ear as he whispered faintly. She laughed, twisting away to get a good look at her fiancé.

“Bartholomew! That is SUCH an actor’s name,” she laughed, ruffling his hair as he just gave her a lovesick look. Heading back to the kitchen to get their food, Y/N failed to notice Barry following her into the kitchen and yelped when he encircled her waist with both arms, kissing her on the cheek.

“You know, you should change your actor’s name to Bartholomew Block for the Roach movie so it’s half real, half fake,” she added, the accidental reveal of the big news not dawning on her until Barry turned her to face him, the complete and blissful shock vibrant on his face.

“I GOT THE PART!” Y/N’s shy little nod prompted Barry to tackle her onto the floor playfully, his fingers brushing against her side accidentally and drawing a laugh from her lips. Kissing right under her ear, he smiled brighter than the sun.

“That is the second best news I’ve heard today!”

#ah what a journey #thanks for the support! #also fun fact #this part was written first and was originally 300 words #I close at the open? #barry berkman x reader #barry #barry hbo #barry block x reader #soulmate au #barry berkman imagine #barry block imagine #barry block #bill hader #hbo #bill hader x reader #my words #engagement fic #proposal fic

[devilgoat]

Tell Me Your Love Is Still Only Mine

Reddie, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, post-chapter 2, 4k

There was a flutter in his chest and his muscles seized. For a moment, Eddie thought he was having a heart attack. Then the thought settled in his brain as a nagging, then screaming, voice.

You’re having a heart attack. Oh my god, it’s a heart attack. I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to die.

His heart fluttered again and blood rushed up to his cheeks.

What is happening to me?

Richie broke the kiss between them.  

An unbearable moment passed. Then another. And another.

“Eddie?” Richie looked at the wild panic that had glazed over Eddie’s eyes. “Oh shit,” he brought a hand up and ran it through his hair. “I shouldn’t have done that. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

Why did I do that, he thought to himself.

Why did he do that, Eddie thought, Why did it feel right?

––––––––––––––––––

Richie had almost lost Eddie down there. Down where It lived. He had gotten so hurt. Richie thought Eddie was going to die, and he along with him. He couldn’t just leave him there. Not after Eddie risked his life for him.

His little scaredy-cat Eds actually threw that damn fire poker at It. To save him. It had hurt him bad, and he almost bled out. But Richie couldn’t leave him. No matter what he couldn’t leave him. With strength he didn’t know he had, he pulled Eddie up and dragged him out of It’s lair. With a little help from Ben, of course. They had nearly died down there. Eddie nearly died down there.

With a stroke of luck Eddie survived. They stayed at the little hospital of Derry Medical as Eddie recuperated. All the Losers stayed for Eddie, at least for a while.

Richie didn’t want to think about what it was like when they first brought him in. The fear he had felt. The blood. The look on Eddie’s face when they carted him away and all Eddie could do was stare at Richie with tear-addled eyes, his mouth soundlessly crying out Richie, Richie, Richie...

The Losers waited and cried. There was nothing else they could do. Despite all they had done to kill It, there was nothing any of them had in their power to help their Eddie. So they waited and they cried.

Finally Eddie had woken up. The first few times he had only a sliver of consciousness. The blood loss and the damage to his body didn’t allow him to stay awake more than a few minutes at a time. At one point he was able to reach out to Richie, but his hand flopped to the bed as he passed out again.

After he was transferred from the ICU, the doctors had said that he was on his way to recovery. After that, the Losers stayed, but they didn’t cry. Except for Richie. He didn’t cry in front of them anymore. He knew that they would understand how distraught he was, but he didn’t want to face it himself. He cried alone in the bathroom until his head ached.

One by one they had left.

Ben and Beverly were the first leave. They had done it. After all this time they had finally found each other and they were ready for their lives together. Richie understood.

Then it was Bill. He had a life and a career to get back to; there were books to write and movies to make. He understood that too.

Mike was the last to leave. He left Derry, finally, after all these years. He was ready to start his own life that only he could live. Richie understood that most of all.

But Richie couldn’t just leave. Not without Eddie.

There was no sign of Eddie’s wife. Although to be fair, she didn’t make an effort to reach out and neither did Richie.

The hospital chairs were stiff and made Richie’s body ache, but he stayed overnight like so many nights before without complaint. The hospital tried to get him to leave, but he shouted and screamed until they had no choice than to let him stay. He only ever got up from his chair to go to the bathroom or to grab a bit of food from the hospital cafeteria.

This night, he had woken himself up from his own snoring. He cleared his throat and sat up straight. Richie’s eyes immediately drifted towards Eddie’s bed. He heard his name. A chill immediately ran through his spine when his eyes connected with Eddie’s.

Eddie had woken up just a few moments before. At first, he felt like he was underwater. But even before his eyes had struggled open, his mind began to race and juggle a hundred thoughts at once.

Okay I’m awake. I’m alive. I’m still alive. God my stomach hurts. Oh shit, is my stomach fucked it? Is it cancer? Stomach cancer? No, no no. Am I bleeding? It hurts to breathe.

His eyelids were heavy. Things were fuzzy as they always were, but he managed to stay awake for more than a few seconds. He raised his hand to touch his chest and the immediate throb snapped his eyes wide open.

Eddie took in the sight of the room around him. Clean, dull colored walls surrounded him. A single window let the morning light in. A hospital. He didn’t know whether he should be relieved or worried about the diseases crawling through halls that could kill him when It couldn’t.

It.

What happened to It?

All he could remember was being thrown through the air like nothing. He remembered Richie and the fear in his eyes. That was something he would never be able to forget. Never.

Wait. Richie.

Oh god, Richie!

Without meaning to, he had said Richie’s name out in a harsh whisper. And when he turned, there he was.

“Richie!”

“Eddie!”

Richie propelled himself out of his chair with such force that he toppled it over. He ran over to Eddie and wrapped his arms around his friend’s shoulders. Eddie would have done the same if the pain hadn’t shot its way from his chest out to his limbs and his head.

“Ow ow ow ow ow, Rich—“ Eddie groaned in pain. Richie pulled away and his trashmouth stumbled over its words for the first time.

“Oh fuck, oh god, I’m sorry. Ed-Eddie, I’m so sorry. Y-you—you okay?”

Eddie’s head fell backward onto his pillow. “What the fuck do you think?” He smiled before a cough shook it off his face. His cheek ached from his wound.

Richie couldn’t help but to laugh. He genuinely could not. He laughed a laugh of nervousness and panic. Of a mountain of strain and stress suddenly sloughed off of his shoulders. He covered his mouth with his hand and muffled it as best he could.

“What’s so fucking funny,” groaned Eddie. “You flipped a perfectly good chair you inconsiderate asshole.”

Now even Richie’s hand couldn’t stifle his laughter. Richie bent his head down onto Eddie’s bed and rested it there. His laughter started to slow until only his shoulders shook. It became obvious to Eddie that Richie was crying.

With a bit of effort, Eddie raised his hand and placed it on Richie’s head.

Richie’s shoulders stopped shaking. He lifted his head and turned it away from Eddie in order to wipe his tears without them being seen.

“Hey, Rich?”

Richie cleared his throat again and turned back to Eddie, “Yeah?”

Eddie opened his mouth but his words caught in his throat. He wanted to say things were okay, he wanted to say that Richie didn’t need to cry, he wanted to say that it hurt him to see Richie hurt.

But instead he asked what happened and why the fuck was he lying here.

Richie gave him the cliff notes. Pennywise shriveled like the little bitch It was and they had carried Eddie out of there. He left out the part that he couldn’t carry Eddie out on his own.

“I uh...I almost died huh? That happened. That was nice. Totally didn’t see that coming, yeah no.” Eddie looked straight forward and felt vindicated in what he had been saying the whole time. “Just had to be me, right?”

“I mean, but you didn’t, right? That’s gotta count for something?”

There was a moment of silence that filled the air. Richie couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“Hey Rich?”

“Yeah, Eds?”

Richie watched as Eddie’s eyes glazed over with tears. In that moment, Richie saw just how soft Eddie’s features were. Just how gentle and...and sad.

“Thanks,” Eddie swallowed back his tears, “Thank you, Richie. For always looking out for me. I’m sorry...I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t protect you in the house, with that-that thing. I just stood there. And I couldn’t help you down there either. I tried, but I fucked it up. I thought I could save you, Richie, I thought I could do something, I thought—“

Before the first tear could fall, Richie leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Eddie once more, gently this time.

“Just shut the fuck up,” he whispered into Eddie’s ear.

Eddie brought up his arm and wrapped it around the back of Richie’s neck. Fuck the pain.

They stayed in each other’s embrace for what seemed like forever, but even forever ends.

Richie pulled away ever so slowly. Their eyes met, only centimeters apart. He felt it build inside of him until he couldn’t take it anymore. He closed the space between them.

Eddie’s lips felt soft and beautiful against his own.

The two of them connected for the briefest of moments, but there were years behind their kiss.

Eddie felt his heart race and nearly burst out of his chest.

Richie pulled away. Eddie stared up at him.

This doesn’t make sense. Why did he do that. Why does it feel like this. What’s happening?

Richie had turned beet red.

“Eddie?”

Eddie hadn’t realized that he had frozen in place like a statue. He couldn’t say anything. He didn’t even know what he would if he could. He could only stare.  

“Oh shit,” Richie ran his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

Richie righted himself and began to walk in a tight circle.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck,” he muttered under his breath.

“Richie?”

With one final, “I’m sorry,” Richie left the room.

Eddie was—well he didn’t know what he was.

Without even a moment to process, Richie came back into the room. Their eyes locked. Richie came closer but stopped in his tracks. He bent over and picked up the chair and righted it.

And within a second he was gone again.

Eddie turned to the chair and stared.  

——————

What the fucking fuck, Richie, you goddamn idiot why would you DO that?

Richie scolded himself as he walked down the Derry streets in a pace anyone would describe as aggressive and worrying.

He was heading towards the inn. There was nothing he could do now. He had kissed Eddie...Eddie…he shook his head free of thoughts. He had done that and there was no taking it back. The only thing he could do now was cut his losses and get the hell out of Derry as soon as physically possible.

After a while he had made his way to the inn’s doorstep. The entire way over he had been trying to knock his thoughts away from Eddie.

Eddie.

Eddie.

Eddie.

His lips. His eyes—

No, no stop it. It didn’t happen. It didn’t matter. I don’t know where it came from so it’s fine it doesn’t matter it doesn’t mean anything. I just need to move on and get the fuck out of here.

Once in his room, he sat on his bed and looked up the earliest flight he could take out of Derry or whatever town he needed to go to do so.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

The next flight wouldn’t be until tomorrow morning. He would have to stay in Derry for at least another 24 hours.

Richie couldn’t take it, he just couldn’t. All the memories—27 years worth—pounded into his brain and heart. The guilt, the shame, the loneliness. His friends. His friends were always there for him. But they didn’t know his secret. No one could know. But now Eddie knew. He just gave in to what he tried to convince himself was an impulse, but he knew deep in his heart that it was something that he had wanted to do for so, so long.

Richie only ever needed Eddie. Even as his memories had faded over the years, nothing ever felt truly right. He tried to seek a relationship, but his love was never truly love. He didn’t know why until now.

What the fuck was he supposed to do for another 24 hours? He couldn’t just stay here locked in his room. He would drive himself insane.

Thankfully, his stomach answered his question.

Richie’s stomach grumbled from hunger. Once he felt that first twist, he realized just how hungry he was. He hadn’t had a proper meal in what seemed like forever.

In his little room, Richie sat on the edge of his bed and let out a small sigh.

——————

After Richie had left, Eddie’s head was swarming with thoughts. They were indecipherable even to him. They ran and spun around his mind over and over again. But all of them revolved around Richie.

He kissed me.

He actually kissed me.

Why did he do that why did he do that.

No it was just a fluke. It was one of those situations when people get caught up in the moment. Like when team players win a game and slap each other’s asses or kiss each other. Yeah it was just that. It didn’t mean anything.

Then why does it mean something to me?

Mom would be freaking out if I told her about this.

She always told me about the germs. The diseases. The diseases men carried when they kissed other men. I could never risk it. I never risked it. I always stopped myself before. I didn’t want to die. Mom always told me I would die. That I would rot and fall apart and leave a trail of pieces as I walked around.

That I would turn into a Leper.

At the moment, Eddie mostly felt fear. He feared illness and death and that something terrible would happen.

But Eddie touched his lips and he could still feel Richie’s pressed against them. The fears subsided for a moment, just a moment. Enough for him to realize that it wasn’t as scary as he thought it would be.

It was actually…

Good.

A differently kind of fear settled into his mind. What about Richie? He stormed out. He was so upset. Richie must have hated it. He must have hated him.

Eddie was stuck on the kiss. The kiss the kiss the kiss. But he shouldn’t like it, right? He can’t like it. And yet he did. He really did.

He couldn’t just lie here. No he needed to talk to Richie. He had to ask him why it all happened.

Eddie pulled the sheets off of himself. With quite a bit of difficulty, he stood up. He lifted up his gown and saw the series of stitches and staples going down his torso. He looked fucking terrible.

He called in the nurse who immediately ordered that he lie back down. Any other time he would listen. Any other time he would stay in the hospital and wait. But now he couldn’t.

He had to find Richie.

Eddie could move himself well enough, although the pain definitely was a bitch. Even with the leftover of the pain medication, it was still bad. He refused help from the doctors and nurses. All they could do was give him some pills before he checked himself out and left.

It took him quite a while longer to walk to the inn. The stairs were quite difficult. Eddie knocked on the door.

“Richie?”

After he didn’t hear a response, he let himself into Richie’s room. He wasn’t there.

Eddie checked the bathroom, calling out again. No sign of his friend. He stood still for a few moments. Richie must have left. He left him.

Eddie’s eyes became cloudy. He wiped away his tears and thought about what he could do. But was there anything he could do? Would he ever even see Richie again? He couldn’t bear the thought. Whether he knew it or not, Richie was the missing piece that he needed.

A sudden pang of pain hit Eddie’s stomach. For a moment he was afraid he ripped his stitches, but in the next he realized it was hunger. It was burning need, and no matter how he wanted to stay there in case Richie came back, he had to eat.

Eddie wipes his eyes again as he slowly descended the stairs and left the inn. He tried to remember the closest restaurant from here. He immediately remembered his favorite little place. It was a diner that had been there since the 50s. The Losers has gone there so many times for cheap burgers and milkshakes. Richie and Eddie went there to spend some time alone.

He made his way down the block and crossed the street.

The diner still had its original checkered tile flooring. The booths’ red seats had started to peel along the edges and little strings of the interior hung out. Eddie was immediately annoyed by it. When he opened the door, it hit the small bell above it and signaled his entrance.

Richie stopped mid-bite when he saw Eddie at the door. His mouth snapped shut. Eddie froze in the doorway.

Fuck, should I leave? Should I stay? Should I sit with him or go further in the back? Should—

“Hey, honey, come on in,” said the middle-aged waitress from behind the counter.

Eddie clenched his jaw and let the door close behind him. Light doo-wop played over the speakers. Richie put his burger down and leaned back in his seat, his eyes on the plate in front of him.

Eddie’s eyes shifted from one side to the other. His heart slammed against his chest. He felt pinpricks of sweat as they began to arise.

Okay, okay, okay, here we go.

Each step felt like he was weighed down by a ball and chain. It’s not that he didn’t want to speak to Eddie, but how could he explain what he felt to him. How he felt for him.

Eddie tried to lower himself into the booth. Richie’s sudden movement out of his seat sent a jolt of fear through Eddie’s body. He thought that Richie was bolting again. Instead, Richie wrapped his hand around Eddie’s arm and helped lower him down into the seat.

“Thanks,” said Eddie. Richie still avoided looking him in the eye.

Only now did Richie make his way to the door. Eddie reached out and grabbed his jacket.

“Richie...please...” His eyes looked up and pleaded. He hoped Rich could hear it in his voice.

Richie looked straight ahead for a moment before he turned to sit down once more. He stared down at his burger without a word or a sound.

Eddie watched him. He traced his features with his mind’s eye. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” Richie finally picked up his burger and took a bite.

“Come on, Rich, we both know you’re not that stupid.” He leaned forward and began to whisper. “The...you know—the fucking ki—“

The waitress came up and gently placed a menu down in front of Eddie. He leaned back in his seat and blushed. He gave her a forced smile and nodded at her.

“Take your time,” she smiled.

Eddie thanked her and she walked away. He didn’t bother looking at the menu.

“Richie—“

“I said—!” Richie forced his voice down to a harsh whisper. “I said I don’t want to talk about it!”

“Well I do, asshole!”

Richie forced air out of his nose. For the first time since Eddie came in, he looked him in the eye. “Alright, then talk.” He waved his hand.

“So um...um...” Of course now that he had the chance, Eddie couldn’t think of what to say. “How’s uh...how’s the burger?”

Richie gave him a quizzical look. “Uhhhh, well just about the same as when we were kids: cheap and greasy. They seem smaller now though.”

“Yeah, age...age does that huh? Make things seem different, in a way. I’m sure it’d give you a heart attack now since you’re so fucking old.”

“Well, not too different I’d say. You’re still an anxious, hypochondriac fuck.”

“I’m not a hypochondriac! I have good reason to be worried, okay? It’s my job!” Eddie pointed a finger.

“Yeah, it’s your job to be an anxious fuck,” Richie laughed.

Eddie sighed and crossed his arms. “Well at least I’m good at my other job too.”

“You have another job?”

“Yeah, it’s fucking your mom. She doesn’t really pay well.”

They both laughed at each other. Their smiles slowly faded while their eyes lingered on one another.

“Richie,” Eddie sighed. “Back at the hospital...”

Richie looked away and ran his hand through his hair. “Look, that was an accident, it—it didn’t mean anything.” It pained him to say that. He wanted to tell his Eddie Spaghetti that it meant everything. That every fiber of his being pulled him into it. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let Eddie know what he really felt. Eddie would hate him.

Eddie’s heart dropped. “Oh.” So he was right. It didn’t mean anything. He realized how badly he wanted it to mean everything. If he said what he felt now, he would just look like a fool.

However, neither knew that other just couldn’t let go. They haven’t been able to let go the past 27 years. There was no way they could do it now.

In unison they said each other’s names.

“Eddie—“

“Richie—“

They both stopped themselves.

They sat in silence for a while. They gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Eds,” Richie’s soft voice barely carried over to the other side of the booth. “Can I show you something?”

Eddie nodded. Richie left the money for the burger on the table as well as a nice tip. Richie led the way out of the diner and Eddie followed close behind. The waitress watched them go. They look so cute together, she thought.

——————

The two of them walked through town and out to the outskirts. Richie kept a pace that Eddie could keep in his injured state. Buildings petered out and an increasing amount of trees took their place. Richie knew this area well, and when he saw the bridge, his heart did a backflip. He was slightly ahead of Eddie so he rushed to a side of the bridge and stood in front of a specific portion of it. Surrounding him were carved initials in the wood. Some were new; some had dulled over the years. Hearts encircled some of them in ancient declarations of love. Eddie wondered how many of them lasted.

“What are we doing here, Rich?” Eddie asked. He stuffed his hands in his pockets to stop them from shaking.

Did he want us in private to tell me it was all a mistake? That he regretted it and it was time to part way? But I don’t want to hear it. I can’t hear it. It already hurts so much.

Richie’s voice shook him out of his neuroticism. “Eds? I-I—“ he couldn’t say it. As desperately as he wanted to—as he needed to, he couldn’t. So instead, he took a step to the right.

“What?” Eddie kept his eyes on Rich until they wandered over to the bridge.

R + E.

The gears slowly turned in Eddie’s head. R...Richie. E...Eddie?

Me?

“Eddie,” Richie could already feel his regret, but he couldn’t keep this secret anymore. It had bored into him for years and years. It dug a hole in his heart.

Alright, I just need to say it. Like a band-aid. Just say it Rich, just fucking say it!

The words burst out of him like they had a will of their own.

“Eddie, I–”

Eddie crossed the distance between them. He grabbed either side of Richie’s face and pressed their lips together.

It felt like a bomb exploded between them. Their lips were high-powered magnets clinging to one another with natural force. The buzzing of electricity between them flowed from their mouths to their chest to their fingertips. 27 years passed between them. 27 years of yearning, desire, love, friendship. It was all there between them in a bond that refused to be broken by anything. Not time, or monsters, or fear.

They pulled away from each other, but this time it was not from fear or shame. They needed to see each other. It needed to be finalized in their minds. Eddie’s hands stayed on Richie’s face and held him in a way that he always needed to do. Richie raised his hands up and placed them on Eddie’s shoulders.

“Eds?”

“Yeah, Rich?”

Richie paused.

“I love you.”

Eddie never broke his gaze.

“I love you too, Richie.”

They broke their embrace. Eddie asked if Richie still had his pocket knife on him. Richie nodded and gave it to him.

They carved their initials into the wood once more.

R+E.

#it 2017 #it 2019 #reddie #reddie fic #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #POSTING AGAIN because the previous time it delted the post when i wanted to add a tag #eddie didnt die #my writing #devilgoat writing #bill hader #james ransone #two sad gay boys #im just so so sad since im also a sad gay boy