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corvivale · 12 days

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HELLO OH MY GOD I ! completely forgot to set up asks here I’m . so sorryHEBDBAH

BUT YES !! I DO !! SO. SO MANY HEADCANONS. I’ll list a few of my favorites!!!!! :3

• cecil is the type of guy to Not get sick a lot— and I like to think it’s because of his weird immortality curse . like, he would get sick normally as a child, but after all of the horrors he went through, he just .. never really gets sick. once every blue moon however he gets a tiny little cold and he’s the biggest baby about it ever .just absolutely inconsolable. and carlos indulges him and encourages it every time by taking care of him btw

• cecil is AUDHD . thisisnt even a headcanon at this point this is just factual . I actually……. Have an entire paper about this in the works …… it is currently 16 pages long. let me know if any of you would be interested ..

• often whenever cecil is with carlos, he’ll keep his two main eyes focused on whatever he’s looking at in the moment, but he always has at least one of his extra eyes fondly locked on carlos at all times

• when cecilos first brought esteban home, cecil was an absolute WRECK. he was so filled with anxiety that he spent many sleepless nights just straight up sitting by his crib for hours staring at him to make sure he didn’t spontaneously combust or something. he was very overly protective and obsessively read every single baby book he could get his hands on cover to cover Multiple times. carlos got concerned about this and called abby about it and she told him that he was exactly the same way with janice when she was born, and he just needs to let cecil have his little freak out for now so he gets it all out of his system. eventually, cecil ends up so exhausted he conks out for several hours on the couch and then he’s just normal after that (mostly. he’s still an anxious freak at times and we love him for it)

• cecil was avg. weight during the very early years of wtnv, just like how he was described in the beginning, but I like to think he embodies the ‘character gains weight to signify they’re more fulfilled with life/happier now’ trope. depressed insecure isolated little weirdo in an apartment complex with 0 cooking skills —> more confident little weirdo with a loving husband who cooks for him and reminds him to take care of himself when he forgets/doesn’t feel like it . something something now that he’s with carlos he’s actually aging and changing and growing now .. something something he rediscovered his humanity with carlos… etc….

• part of cecil’s love language is Definitely jjst . sharing sweet little drowsy moments with carlos. those quaint, ‘domestic bliss’ mornings he wakes up to— seeing carlos lay beside him with his hair all frizzy from sleep, brewing a warm cup of coffee in the morning while carlos makes breakfast, cuddling and sleeping in on lazy days .. you get the gist. I like to think he loves little cat nap moments as well- just curling up on the couch, intertwined with one another, the only sound in the room being their respective breathing and heartbeats. it helps cecil relieve a lot of pent up tension

• cecil sleep-hosts sometimes. like carlos will wake up to cecil very drowsily mumbling the details of last week’s community calendar or some shit, completely knocked out. he’s perfect

• since cecil can’t cook very well he definitely is just like an annoying cat every time carlos cooks/bakes. like, carlos will be making something, and cecil will either be standing very close behind him looking over his shoulder, or he’ll be sitting up on the counter beside him licking the spoon or something

• ^ on that note I feel like a lot of their dynamic is jsut. ‘carlos doing something productive while cecil either watches or just sits with him enjoying his company.’ like their afternoons consist of carlos sitting on the couch reading a book while mindlessly playing with cecil’s hair, cecil’s head draped against his lap, and both of them are completely silent. they just like being together! carlos’ love language is more tied into his work and getting things done/achieving some sort of practical goal, while cecil just enjoys being along for the ride

• cecil emotes vaguely like a cat. his tail perks up/gets all puffy when he’s startled, his pupils cartoonishly dilate depending on his mood, his tail flicks at the tip sometimes when he’s just stationary/bored/focused and lashes when he’s agitated, etc.

• cecil is AFAB, and has had top surgery! I draw him with top surgery scars, and I don’t know I just think it weirdly makes sense ? anyway . he’s genderqueer and he has a very lax relationship with gender in which he doesn’t really understand why people make such a big deal out of it, and however people address him is typically fine with him!

• since cecil is very artistic and he often expresses his creative writing skills on the radio, I like to think he writes carlos little meaningful poems and prose here and there<3

• due to his ADHD cecil is often forgetful and has to be (lightly) assisted with tasks sometimes. he’s the type of guy to leave untouched, completely full cups of liquid all over the place, having forgotten he made them (me too girl). carlos makes him very specific and written down grocery lists and gives him gentle reminders about things when he needs to, and cecil is very thankful for his patience. any time cecil messes up on something, he gets really upset and self-critical about it, but carlos is always there to reassure him it’s alright and it’s no big deal and they’ll figure something out

• ^ cecil takes stimulant medication and an antidepressant! just like me fr

• cecil is somewhat strict about routine and can grow pretty distressed when plans spontaneously change. I feel like carlos and cecil are on opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to this, so like. he and carlos will have a plan to do something but last minute carlos is like “hey what if we did [] instead for [insert more practical reason]” and cecil is like “uh no what no what. That is not the plan!!”

• ^ another thing like this is .carlos will try and be helpful and like organize cecil’s space for him without telling him about it in advance but when cecil sees his space organized he’s like really freaked out about it because yeah it was messy but it was methodical. he knew where everything was but now he doesn’t and oh god ohhh no change bad

all of this is just shameless projection. btw .let me know if you all would want more of these ..? I have.too many

ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!! THIS WAS A VERY FUN POST TO MAKE:) @www-pinkhearse

#thoughts #headcanons #asks #wtnv #welcome to night vale #wtnv headcanon #cecilos #cecil gershwin palmer #cecil palmer #wtnv cecil #carlos dave robles #wtnv carlos

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give-soup-please · 1 year

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The "Changing of the Guard"

So this is a concept I've had difficulty explaining to others, and I'm going to try and explain it.

As someone who uses fictional characters to cope, I invented a system many years back that I still use now, even though my living situation is a lot better.

Essentially, I created a space within my head for all of these characters to live. I described this place briefly in my fic, 'what is this, a crossover fic?' But that's not the focus for this post.

So as these characters are accepted into my head, they have a focus of making sure I stay alive, no matter what. I craft their personalities so that they are *slightly* different from canon, and round out their rough edges if they have any. And I carry them with me.

This mechanic was something I designed where I would put focus into one character at a time, receiving serotonin and coming up with creative ideas involving them. The other characters I've had in the past would still be there, but generally I focused on one comfort character at a time. The thing is, this idea grew quickly in complexity as I retreated into my head while living at my parents place. I don't use this creation I built as a child often anymore, but it is something to fall back on when I'm stressed, anxious, or depressed.

Eventually it developed into a series of rulesets where they would act friendly towards each other, and recognize that the time they were spending with me wasn't permanent. And that when the time came, the main character I was focusing on would be switched out for the next one. All of them recognized that keeping me alive was their priority, and if one character was better suited to looking after me, there were no hard feelings involved. And all of them recognized that in an emergency, I might call upon one of them to help, and that was an okay thing to do.

It's not dissociative, these characters didn't take over my brain. I was always aware of myself, and 100% in control of them. It was maladaptive daydreaming, I think.

But then this other concept developed, the 'Changing of the Guard.' The ritual by which one character would be replaced by another to act as the main support. If I trace my past, I can see when one character shifted to the other.

Papyrus from UT was the first, then Cecil from WTNV, then Aziraphale from GO, Julian from DS9 appeared somewhere between those four, you see what I'm saying.

So for a long time, the narrator was acting as guard, to keep me from doing stupid things, and acting as a voice of reason when stressed. Now, he's no longer in that position. Believe it or not, it's transferred back over to Aziraphale now. There's nothing to note here specifically. In a time of need, I may call upon the narrator again. I can do that, they're all focused on keeping me alive, that's the whole goal. All this to say, I forgot that the concept of 'changing of the guard' is not common among everyone. And I brought up the concept to a few people and got a whole bunch of '??????' in response.

Essentially, the fictional characters I love most take turns holding the line so that I don't make permanent mistakes.

And this is a thing that not everyone does.

#personal #soup rambles

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billdecker · 10 months

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15 questions for 15 mutuals

I got tagged by @mashbrainrot (at first I was like who is this?? and then I was like oh it’s you!!!) and I would tag other people but it’s too warm and I don’t know who would want to be tagged so consider yourself tagged

Were you named after anyone? My great-grandma, Sarah-Jane! Although I’m just a Sarah Ann.

When was the last time you cried? Earlier today. A couple of days ago my dad brought around some homegrown potatoes for me so I made an amazing potato salad, bit into it and one of my teeth just crumbled away. I have a big tooth/dental/dentist phobia and they aren’t taking emergencies unless really serious because of the covid backlog, so I’ve got half a jaggy tooth for the next month. So I’ve been pretty much crying every day because my teeth are like a medieval peasant’s anyway because of breakdowns meaning I neglected myself and I just feel very depressed and sad and embarrassed about it all.

Do you have kids? Nope. I have two nieces. Me and D have been together for 22 years and never even discussed it.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? It depends on the person I’m with.

What's the first thing you notice about people? I don’t even know how to answer this one because I don’t meet any new people because I don’t leave my flat lol

Scary movies or happy endings? Seeing as I don’t like scary movies then it would have to be happy endings

What is your eye colour? Blue

Any special talents? Absolutely nothing

Where were you born? Stoke-on-Trent

What are your hobbies? Writing. I’ve been doing a lot of reading this year too, more than I usually do. Gardening! That’s my new favourite thing to do. The patch by my flat is probably only 2m by 1m but I’ve done a lot with it and I have loads of planters too. My instagram this year has basically just been photos of flowers

Have any pets? I have a cat named Cecil who we adopted in 2016. He’d been hit with a white van and suffered a smashed jaw and other broken bones. He was so anxious at the adoption charity that he remained up a corner and nobody wanted him. The charity were surprised we actually wanted him. He’s a gorgeous, neurotic little pain in the arse who threw up this morning because he insists on trying to eat his moulted hair. If I wasn’t living in a tiny housing association flat then I’d have a couple more cats.

What sports do you play/have you played? I used to play football but that’s it. I love watching sports but hate playing them. Absolutely loathed P.E and felt like I’d been blessed when my GP stopped me from doing it at school because I had a growth disease in my knees. Until then I’d literally purposely injure myself to get out of it

How tall are you? 5ft 5.5inches.

Favourite subject in school? History and art. I kinda enjoyed English but the books we read were shit (apart from Adrian Mole) and I really resented Ted Hughes’ poetry. Once I left school to finish my GCSEs at college, I loved English.

Dream job? I used to say to have my writing published but I’d find that far too anxiety inducing because of people reviewing it. Maybe a florist??

#i got tagged!

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bulkhummus · 3 years

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Carlos and Cecil — but make it college ! A scene I drew from a story I’ve been writing during down time. Cecil has just entered an apartment party to find a drunk Carlos, who normally doesn‘t party, let alone get drunk. Amused but vaguely worried, Cecil takes him home.

Cecil, a 23 year old journalism major who has no regard for his wellbeing and Carlos, a 26 year old workaholic grad student who discovers a new species in Night Vale.

A story of lobsters, learning and love ✨

#wtnv #the legs are Long tonight boys forgive me #wtnv podcast #cecilos #cecil/carlos #cecil palmer #carlos the scientist #wtnv college au #wtnv au #Wtnv fanart #welcome to night vale #Original art #art tag #Carlos has ADD in this #and cecil is anxious and depressed #Old Woman Josie is Cecil’s therapist #dana is student body president #Carlos is clearly into cecil but won’t let himself date bc of his work and knowing how he is with maintaining relationships #Cecil is clearly into carlos but will not make big moves in fear of losing a carefully cultivated friendship #Cecil is an intern at the radio station and does his campus show three nights a week #Cecil helps carlos record things and carlos is impressed by his ability to use according equipment #i have so many THOUGHTS #someone ask me questions im gonna explode #also like my boys are switches #but cecil is a bottom in my heart so #hes too dramatic and too much of a brat to not be a bottom #Especially in this story #And carlos just Deals with him with awe and exasperation bc hes stupidly in love and so curious about everything cecil does #and that curiosity and desire for exploration becomes very Top Energy even if Carlos doesn’t mean for it to he just wants to know and see #ALL of cecil

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nostalgic-pancakes · 3 years

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you look bizarre, in the apricot

two. chatlogs from people who don't exist. (and thomas suffering for a bit)

Summary: the sides get phones, and night vale is night vale. you can guess how this goes.

Pairings: platonic thomas and sides, pintroverts <3

Read on AO3

Word count: 584

Warnings: typical night vale weirdness, unreality.

Other notes: @sometimes-love-is-enough guess who’s on her bullshit again. hope you enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hiya, Thomas!”

“Hey, Pat. It’s weird being on the phone when you’re literally right next to me.”

“Well, yeah. WAIT, CAN I GO TO THE DOG PARK NOW?”

“NO! NO, PATTON. Remember Carlos?”

“Ah. Well, at least there’s flesh-eating snakes.”

“This town’s really messed up our sense of cuteness, hasn’t it.”

“How could you not think those guys are ADORABLE? Monster!”

*a sigh. Thomas is pretty tired, kept awake by the neon lights.* “Don’t get bit then, I guess. Can you guys get bit?”

“You should ask Logan that!”

“I...will take that into consideration. Bye! Don’t forget the groceries at the auction!”

“Love you, Thomas.”

“Love you too.”

… (Yes, apparently sides can get bit by flesh-eating snakes. Well.)

“Logan.”

“Hello, yes, I can hear you. Now may I get back to my experiment?”

“Make sure you keep the ‘NOT A PEN’ stickers on.”

“Of course- who do you take me for, Remus?”

“You guys are so similar sometimes I don’t know the difference.”

“That's probably a good thing. Now I have some Rube Goldberg machines to correct. I love you very much.”

“Awww! Love you too!” *" ONE MINUTE! GLOW CLOUD! (all hail) Just finishing a call!. Now onto Cecil's grammar errors." "Even I don't know if this is worth the me tutoring you in Chemical Engineering, glow cloud." [ALL HAIL]

…

“Thomas Thomas THOMAS-- This is a horrible idea! What if--- Oh this town is a NIGHTMARE. What if the city council notices we haven’t done the New Year’s ritual, or that we put out a tweet on Tuesday by accident?”

“Look, cancel culture is killing us all, and the tweet’s been rescheduled for Wednesday.”

“Thomas I think you’ve been canceled like… four times since we moved.”

“Is it weird that I don’t care about it that much anymore?”

“YES! YES! Loss of interest or care in previously enjoyed activities is a SYMPTOM OF DEPRESSION! Go to a therapist!!”

“I never… liked being canceled?”

“Okay, whatever. I need to make sure Patton doesn’t get himself KILLED, so I’ll see you. Can sides even die….?”

“Uh, sure! Love you big bunches.”

*a chuckle. Thomas hasn’t used that phrase since they were kids.* “Love you even bigger.”

…

“Roman.”

“Yeeeeesss, Thomas?”

“Why did I hear about you doing arson with rainbow fire next door to the Ralph’s?”

“Well, Janice wanted to see Rainbow Fire -”

“How did you pronounce that?”

“And we were next to Ralph's!”

“... Remus is rubbing off on you, isn’t he?”

“Brother bonding time!”

“Fair enough. I’m at Slap-Poetry again, so keep Janice busy, if possible. She’s been really anxious about that Volleyball game.”

“Why of course!! Love you veeeeery many :D”

“H-how? And yeah, love you very many more.”

“ 。·:*:·ﾟ★。·:*:·ﾟ☆Magic。·:*:·ﾟ★。·:*:·ﾟ☆ ” *there is incomprehensible screeching on the other end of the phone, before the call cuts off. Roman grins. This town has been good for him and Remus to bond.*

…

“Awwwwww Tommy-boy, why wasn’t I allowed my own phone?”

“Re, I love you, but you would send us to prison like that,”

“Prison could be fun!”

“Just… Janus tell him no. Nico’s sick, and I’m contractually obligated to Slap-Poetry tonight. Keep him in check. Or at least out of the hospital”

“Hmmm…. We’ll see. We absolutely hate your guts, you know. ”

“Yeah, love you too. Have fun!” *a sneeze can be heard from the other side of the line, along with the telltale plop! noise of mini Nico’s being spawned.*

"Good luck." "Good Luck."

"...Thanks, guys."

#sanders sides #Welcome to Night Vale #sanders sides fanfiction #pintroverts #ts logan #ts patton #ts roman #ts remus #do not repost #vee's writing #2021

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moirai-au · 4 years

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Marius Mars D’Aragon

(art commissioned to the super talented Ramvur!)

@immabethehero @bupine @tabbynerdicat @i-maybe-exist @its-ethan-bro @sandinthetardis @honestlyitsjustkenna @taikeero-lecoredier

Character

23 years old

born on August 12 1997 in the south of France (Leo)

grew up in the US

irish/french descent

disaster gay

real powerful magic

fragile health, often gets sick

hella touch-starved, but has gone for so long without human contact that he shies away from it because it overwhelms him

his mask is a comfort to him. If someone tries to touch it he’ll shy away, if someone takes it off he’ll lose his shit

he was homeschooled his whole life and never went out, so his social life/skills are nonexistent

a hermit and a huge nerd

no sense of fashion whatsoever

Personality

introvert, cold

socially anxious, quiet

analytical, observant

immature, jealous, emotional

cautious, serious

pessimistic, cranky

stubborn, vindictive

curious, oblivious (especially when it comes to romance)

eloquent, intelligent

lazy, messy

Issues

depression

sluggishness

lack of appetite, weight loss

sleeping too much

touch-starved

social anxiety

thinks that everyone is watching and judging him

hates talking on the phone

trouble with eye contact

he gets sweaty when talking to strangers, voice shaky, heart beating fast

self-loathing

guilt for hurting his mother with his powers

fear of being a hazard for everyone else

Likes, skills and interests

speaks fluent english and french

can play the piano pretty well (after years of home tutoring)

special interest in birds and plants

green thumb, he likes seeing plants flourish under his care

good at sketching (mostly… birds and plants he sees in his greenhouse)

favorite animal: birds like conures or owls. surprisingly, it’s not cats. he’s actually a bit wary of them since they tend to attack birds and the critters that live in his greenhouse, but he doesn’t dislike them either.

he just keeps the cat mask because he’s used to it at this point

favorite music genres: classical and lofi hip-hop

favorite time/weather: clear night

favorite environment: the forest

favorite drinks: cold milk and hot cocoa

favorite colors: purples and black

Backstory

he was born a normal baby, but his extremely potent magic manifested when he was about 5 years old, and his eyes changed and became golden and slitted

parents were freaked out, and hid him away during his whole childhood

his dad basically ignored him, and his mom was afraid of him and his powers.

“You know I love you, right? I would do anything for you.” “Really? Then why can’t I go outside?” “You’re so cute, I don’t want other people to see you...”

growing up, his emotions would trigger his powers. it’s better now, but extreme anger or distress still makes him lose control.

he burned his face when he lost control once, hence the scars

also hurt his mom at the same time.

now he’s convinced he’s a hazard to everyone. he’s not afraid to leave the property because he fears the outside world, he’s afraid because he thinks he’ll hurt people.

after the incident he went nonverbal for almost a year. Cecil, the private doctor hired by his mother, gave him a journal so he could communicate by drawing and writing.

his parents are loaded

they travel the world and send him a ridiculous amount of money every month

they say it’s for work but the real reason is that they couldn’t deal with having a “freak” as a son but couldn’t abandon him without getting bad PR

so instead they just took their distance and left him to live in a big-ass mansion by himself as soon as he was about 6 years old

they dont really care what he does. last time they called him was when he was 13

last time they sent him a birthday card was when he was 18

since he was basically ignored his whole life by his dad before they both left him in the mansion alone, the only adult and source of human interaction in his life was Cecil

since he has money and home, he doesn’t need a job, so he just stays cooped up in the property and never leaves, he orders his food and groceries to be delivered to him

he tries to use his magic as little as possible, (hello trauma my old friend) so he still has flimsy control over it

by the time he reaches 23 years old, he’s basically heavily depressed and wasting away

then Ollie first crashes into his life...

#mars #oc #character sheet #reference sheet #moirai #FINALLY #a complete and accurate ref sheet!#this boi changed a lot since i first created him #i love him so much #he is my son and i love him

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 4 years

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So you probably have answered this, but any headcanons for Barnaby?

-rosievixen

Barnaby, my boy! My wonderful king of creatures!

He is the sweetest, most friendly boy in the entire school - and not even on purpose. That’s just who he is. You can tell that no one knows what to make of him. I bet McGonagall, Sprout, Flitwick, they all love him. Even Snape is like, “Oh, Barnaby...” with a mild face-palm. Felix tries in vain to teach him the ways of being cunning and crafty, a Slytherin’s bread and butter. But he realizes early on that Barnaby just doesn’t have it in him. So he resolves to protect the boy with everything he has.

Merula initially saw Barnaby as an opportunity and latched onto his kindness when she was still spiraling after Tulip’s betrayal. Ismelda went along with it because she too, could see how useful he might be. But it didn’t take long for his kindness and total sincerity to get to her. By the time MC and Tulip threw the dungbomb at the Slytherin trio, Ismelda had fallen head over heels for him. He of course, had no idea.

That’s the thing about Barnaby. The obvious and most basic things go over his head, but on a deeper, more emotional level - I think that he’s very wise. He may not have cottoned on to different people’s feelings, but once he knew them, I bet he knew how to proceed. I feel like, he’s the kind of friend who knows exactly what to say when you’re in despair. Feeling anxious or depressed. Barnaby helps out with just a few simple words. Or one of his amazing hugs. By the way, Barnaby gives the best hugs.

He may not be cunning, but he’s definitely ambitious - that’s why he’s a Slytherin, after all. He says that he wants to be the best wizard he can possibly be. Another way in which he’s wise - I think he has a very mature understanding and interpretation of what it means to be his greatest self. None of this toxic nonsense that people are indoctrinated to believe. To Barnaby, it means being talented and kind. To wield immense knowledge and power, as a Slytherin should...and then to use that power for the good of others. Because that’s what power should be for.

Barnaby and Liz is the closest of friendships and you cannot convince me otherwise. Shipping or no shipping, it’s clear that she cares about him, and seeks to protect him the same way that MC and Felix would. Liz was probably at odds with Merula and her gang from day one, but I bet Barnaby was always nice to her. Because that’s the thing about him - he’s nice to everyone except for people that threaten his friends. That was why he was antagonistic toward MC at first. He believed Merula’s version of events, and Barnaby is the most protective friend there ever was. Don’t forget that he saves Rowan from cursing them-self when they were Imperius’d.

His family is at least seven different kinds of awful, but I like to imagine that staying with his uncle Cecil was a kind of safe haven for a young Barnaby. Cecil isn’t exactly the greatest influence, and it would explain the earliest characterization of Barnaby...but it’s still a damn sight better than staying with his parents. Barnaby definitely has some unresolved trauma regarding those days, but he pushes it down, puts it in a box and forgets about it. That probably is not healthy. But it makes him happy, at least for the moment, so why would he stop.

A few miscellaneous things. His wand his made of willow and dragon heartstring. He’s the biggest cuddle-bug you’ve ever seen. The reason he’s so buff is that he helps out Hagrid with manual labor all the time - oh, by the way, he and Hagrid are like best friends. Don’t try to convince me that they’re not. Barnaby also has a pet cruppie.

I’m going to tell you a personal story, but I promise that there’s a point to it, so indulge me for a moment. My parents once took their kitty cat, Franny, to see an animal psychic. I don’t normally believe in the people who make a living out of predictions, but I will say that this woman made several, specific allusions to Franny’s life that led my parents to believe she was genuine. She then told them that Franny had a very unusual perspective on life - that most creatures are keenly aware of their place in the food chain, in where they stand versus other types of animals. Franny was one of the rare animals who saw no distinction between cats, humans, and anything else. It was all the same to her. So, why did I tell this story? Because I believe Barnaby is the same way. I think that’s one trait he absolutely has. Even Liz can see the distinction - she fights for the sake of other creatures, but she’s clearly aware of the difference. I’m not at all sure that Barnaby is. And that is without a doubt, my favorite head-canon for him.

#Barnaby Lee #HPHM Headcanons #Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery

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cupboardgods · 4 years

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feeling so weird because i’ve spent like 3 or 4 years really struggling with my art and really feeling insecure. I’ve avoided drawing a lot, and when I do draw, my creativity feels stunted and strained. My hand moves awkwardly and my drawings are BAD. My grasp on anatomy is weaker than it was when I was drawing every day/in school, and I have to do better.

Tonight i decided to go through my art tag for the first time in probably years (i was looking for something specific) and my emotions right now are surprising

i’m recognizing that I never finished anything. hardly anything. or they never felt finished. That makes me really sad.

i’m also recognizing that my old art was GOOD. i’m looking at some of this stuff from 5-6 years ago and feeling like, damn, wish i could paint like that now. I probably could but have i recently? not at all!!!!!!!!! And i remember hating some of these paintings and drawings when i uploaded them!! I was delusional and stupid to feel that way! They’re leagues better than where I’m at now.

And lastly, i’m looking at all these drawings of my original characters, and i’m falling in love with them. Really, I miss them. I need to interact with them more, they’ve always felt kinda real to me.

I drew Adair and Cecil a week or two ago in my sketchbook and it was like so emotional. I’ve really been pushing myself lately to do even menial arts and crafts and to doodle. I’ve picked up scrap booking. I’ve picked up my sketchbook. I painted my helmet to look like a watermelon. I make stuff in ACNH. It’s been good.

The reality is, 4-5 years ago, when I was drawing this great stuff, I was in a really bad place. My physical and mental health were at an all time low. I had great art habits and practiced (often with friends online) all the time, but I was so depressed and anxious and sick that I was flunking classes. I deflected all that sick by drawing Lupin! I would stay up all night painting as a coping mechanism! I mean I went to doctors too but years went by before I felt ok again.

Ultimately i feel great about those drawings. I have a desire to revisit a lot of them, especially the Lupin ones. The fandom on twitter is having a mega rennaissance. This is truly the golden age of lupin fan art and I want to be a part of it even if I don’t feel as strongly about the series as I did.

I just started a good job. I’m making big changes in my life. My room is fucking CLEAN for the first time in years. I have no reason not to jump into these paintings and get my groove back. I can do it, and I can do it while I’m not depressed and anxious. I might think those paintings are better than what I can do now, but there’s no way that’s true. I can definitely do better now. I’ve grown.

#rant..........#i'm feeling em0 today about a lot of stuff #but this is about my art

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without-school-or-style · 4 years

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(NR)LFRP - Joey Madison

AKA (Not Really) Looking For RP. I mean, if you want to, shoot me up a message on Tumblr. Otherwise I’m not actively seeking RP at this point in time. I saw this Tumblr thing going around and thought it would be a good method of introduction? I hope. :D (I just copy-pastaed this spiel from my other Tumblr.)

Joey Madison

The Basics ––– –

Age: Difficult to determine exactly due to a variety of reasons. He just says he’s as old as he feels and that’s that.

Birthday: 15th Sun of the 1st Umbral Moon (February 14)

Race: Lalafell Dunesfolk

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Demisexual (loves his wife, not interested in a relationship otherwise)

Marital Status: Married

Server: Aether -> Sargatanas

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Blond, medium to long-length bangs parted in the middle, tapered at the back of his neck.

Eyes: Crimson red

Height: 3′

Build: Ye Average Lalafell Potato Body.

Distinguishing Marks: His face has become lightly freckled ever since he came to Eorzea.

Common Accessories: None

Personal ––– –

Profession: Counsellor. Sidekick for hire. Also works as Reonora Aestethe’s retainer and also as an employee at her store. He takes care of duties related to making clothes, books (usually sewing signatures), and anything culinary, manages daily tasks, and also a little bit of customer service here and there.

Hobbies: Playing guitar (acoustic bass, acoustic, Spanish - do these exist in Eorzea?), likes to hang out at the Gold Saucer just for the games and the noise, reading, devising new combat/magic techniques.

Languages: Common

Residence: Currently living at his Free Company (Eidolons) house.

Birthplace: Fortuno, a modern, militaristic city in another world.

Religion: Although he believes and respects all religions, he isn’t particularly religious himself.

Patron Deity: Azeyma

Fears: Being called out as a fraud due to being self-taught in many things, not being helpful or good enough, training where people can see him.

Relationships ––– -

Spouse: Cecille the Brave (aka Iris Hellwind, aka Sana Banana). She is the reincarnation of his wife in many other universes, but even then, Joey fell in love with her on his own. They have a relationship where she takes the lead and he fusses over her, but she takes care of him when he needs it.

Children: None. Unable to have children though he doesn’t want any.

Parents: He doesn’t have parents so much as that he has a couple of people he shares DNA with. It’s a long story.

Siblings: Joey specifically has no siblings.

Other Relatives: N/A

Pets: A fat cat named Lily, though she only responds to ‘Fat Cat.’ While Fat Cat belongs to Reonora officially, Fat Cat became instantly attached to Joey from the moment they first met and follows him everywhere.

Traits ––– -

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Smoking Habit: None because... Drugs: ... he is boring... Alcohol: ... like that.

RP Hooks ––– –

“Welcome to Fortunes & Fancies!” - Need anything WVR, LTW or CUL-related things? He’s there to help to the best of his ability. He also has a small amount of experience related to oracle cards in case you’re seeking Fortune & Fancies’ divination services as well.

Mages and the Voidsent Machine - Related to the Thaumaturge quest, Joey has heard that mages are being captured or killed. For this reason, he is seeking out to protect his fellow mages, especially those who are the reincarnations of his former comrades. If you are such mage that’s being chased by voidsent cultists or just related to the THM quest in general, he’s willing to help.

Friend For Hire - Joey is a counsellor/therapist by trade. Need a friend on your travels? He’s there. He’ll also accompany you on your travels and take on any role that you or your group needs. Though if he sees you sad, depressed or downtrodden, he’ll come to you first. Rumors have claimed that he’s good at helping others to train and so he can help you better yourself in that regard as well. Though for a variety of reasons, he’s very, very reluctant to join in himself...

Contact Information ––– –

PM me on Tumblr here or at @aspected-benefic!

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #rp

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darkouter · 5 years

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barty headcanon & general meta: surviving the imperius curse

personals don’t reblog! if mutuals think this is interesting enough to apply to their muses who have been put under the imperius curse before, feel free to tho.

ANYWAYS, time to talk about the implications of being controlled by someone completely for long periods of time! let’s have a psych student ramble about the symptoms of trauma that survivors of the imperius curse are likely to face. in fact, to tie this to cecil’s psychiatric health practice that he opens up on the wizarding side of london, i’d like to think that barty in his care leads to him forming this draft of criteria for a disorder that is closely linked to that of ptsd, but specific to those who are put under the imperius curse.

quick note: i take heavy inspiration from netflix’s jessica jones series when it comes to how mind control works, as i already have an extensive concept built around it for my kilgrave rp blog, and you’ll see that influence throughout this post if you’re familiar with the series (if you expected me to not bring mr. eggplant emoji into this, you’re a foole, as he taints everything that i do and is a pervasive parasite to my very soul). poison ivy, too, provides some direction for this.

first: what does it look and feel like to be under the imperius curse?

what we know: it is pleasant to be under at the time, possible (but hard) to overcome through sheer force of will, it can last for an indefinite amount of time, harry could successfully perform the curse on the fly without having practiced on anyone ever before, and j.k. bowling ball really should have defined it more so i wouldn’t have to write this post.

i think there are three main factors that inform how someone feels, thinks, and acts under the curse: 1.) how much autonomy the spellcaster allows them, 2.) how adept the spellcaster is at the curse, and 3.) the will of the person being controlled. each of these may impact how lucid the cursed individual is/acts.

generally speaking, victims do not find the experience to be unpleasant for the duration of the spell. in fact, it is usually calming and enjoyable. victims are free of stress and responsibility due to lack of control, and it’s akin to being heavily sedated. so. imagine being incredibly high, and that’s how thought patterns and emotions are affected. this may be disrupted when there is a trigger of some sort that causes a victim to fight. an example is extreme cognitive dissonance, such as in situations where the victim is so severely against performing an ordered action that they begin to fight against it. at that point, they may become confused and upset due to conflicting desires. the curse doesn’t simply make people do things, but it makes people feel that they want to do those things, so the artificial desire battling with real desire will cause internal distress and debate over what to do. the caster’s ability will compete with the will of the cursed in this instance.

casters may gain better control by actively engaging with the individual in close proximity, using their wand, and only separating for short amounts of time. on the other hand, the cursed may have a better chance at fighting if there is distance, lack of engagement, and long intervals of separation. the spell is liable to lose its strength over a period of time away, where it is not maintained. i like to kind of think of the spell having a battery life: maintaining strength when the caster is nearby, charged / being refreshed when the cursed is engaged with through use of wand, and draining at other times. a strong will fighting, particularly if due to an outside stimulus’ influence, drains it much faster.

barty remained under control of crouch sr. during his absences, but the dark mark’s appearance and death eaters showing up at the quidditch world cup was enough of an emotional trigger to give him the desire for freedom to act. crouch sr. was not in his presence to strengthen the spell, so he broke out of the curse. however, after being stupefied and taken home, he went back under. the imperius curse’s influence is something that is an active, ongoing mental battle. with crouch sr. back in his presence and without the same motivation inspired by the dark mark, barty could not overcome it. he had to be freed by tom.

now, the curse lasts indefinitely if it is maintained well enough. so how do people operate when they are not actively being given orders? how much autonomy do they have? all of those three factors would have to affect this. the cursed may have more autonomy if the caster gave it, if they are not competent enough with the spell to maintain control that is complex and involves the ability to set rules, and/or if the cursed has a strong enough sense of self for their personality and instinct to show through.

when harry used the imperius curse, the man he cursed (i’m not looking it up, it was some guy during deathly hallows when they broke into gringott’s) had to be given constant orders to operate. when harry wasn’t actively making him do something, he would look mindless. harry had to constantly be cognizant of him if he had wanted the curse to seem natural because he was not good enough at the spell to balance how much control the man had over himself. people who are not good at the spell may have something like this happen, with someone becoming a total zombie, or with the opposite occurring, the cursed are too autonomous (think of playing a video game character normally versus the sims; both need to be actively piloted/monitored for different reasons).

crouch sr. was skilled in his use of the imperius curse, and he established specific rules that served to keep barty isolated but did not otherwise cause friction with anything unnecessary, which allowed him to operate somewhat normally. he was still dazed and would not have been able to pass as someone who was not under the curse, but crouch didn’t need barty to fool anyone because the entire purpose of the curse was to hide him away entirely. their house elf winky helped him function where barty needed it. barty didn’t have a strong enough sense of self nor the will to break free under normal circumstances, as these are large flaws that have always been part of his personality. there have been times where the curse broke by accident of some kind or because something prompted barty to will it, but learned helplessness caused him to not actually do anything about it. with regulus gone, tom fallen from power and disappeared, his mother dead, his friends turned on him after the trial, the last loyal death eaters imprisoned, and him supposed to be imprisoned/dead, there was nothing for barty. even during the few times he managed to gain his freedom from the curse, he didn’t actually have any freedom. there was nowhere to go, no one to turn to, and not much of a life worth living. frankly, being back in control of himself would allow his severe depression to come forward, so the imperius curse was preferable. at least he would be content under it.

second: what happens after escaping the curse? what are its lasting effects?

there are a lot of potential issues, but some concepts i think are important: i feel like people would struggle with their sense of self, trust in their own judgement, and feel the need to make sure they don't feel that loss of control ever again.

immediately upon coming out of the curse, people are likely to be in a fugue state or otherwise very confused. decision making may not feel natural. they may dissociate, as they have not had full control, may feel like they still don’t have it, and the entire ordeal may have felt like an out of body experience. being thrust back into their own body may feel unreal, and they might suffer from depersonalization (feeling that they themself are not real) or derealization (feeling that the world around them is not real).

they might have permanent cognitive side effects from being in a dream-like, trance state for so long (where the above symptoms become chronic). they may have to deal with wondering how much of what they did was themselves and what was the imperius curse. there may be feelings of guilt and general self-blaming for their behavior, for not having enough will (i.e. in their minds, being too weak) to break free, or for being caught in the first place. they may feel violated, used, or dirty. maybe sometimes wonder if they ever actually got out from the curse, wonder if they can trust themselves to make decisions. deal with paranoia that they might be trapped or controlled, whether by means of being cursed again or even just in other, more subtle ways (like socially, wanting to avoid ever feeling obligated to do things for other people; physically/magically, wanting to be able to fight; emotionally/mentally, not wanting to be made to feel weak). they could possibly become hypervigilant and anxious and/or depressed. some may have memory issues, whether amnesia surrounding time under the curse or problems organizing timelines in chronological order. in general, organized thought may be impaired to some degree. it may be hard to form interpersonal relationships due to lack of trust, feeling misunderstood, insecure, and wanting to self-isolate.

the trauma is unique to the individual, as it depends entirely on what someone was made to do during their time under the curse and for how long, which can be wildly different from person to person. someone who was controlled momentarily in order to steal something for someone versus someone who was controlled for a long period of time and committed a variety of acts like murder might not have much in common between their emotional responses.

for barty, it really just exacerbated issues he already had — he suffered from dissociation, dependency issues, and insecurities about sense of control before azkaban and the imperius curse, due to crouch’s abuse and his own latent mental illness. because it lasted so long for barty, his brain chemistry and thought patterns have been twisted more severely than most survivors. he suffers from disorganized thought, similar to that of someone with schizophrenia or dementia. emotions are more likely to win over logic at times. there are some actions he simply struggles with doing, and there was a period of time post-curse where he couldn’t write coherently and had to make moody do it for him. he loses his train of thought at times, his memories are fuzzy, and he has no clear understanding of who he is as a person because he wasn’t able to be one for so long. he also has a very hard time communicating with people due to the isolation.

#| OOC: HEY GHOULS!#| HC: BARTEMIUS CROUCH JR.#this is long but ive gotten a few questions abt how i view the imperius curse so here !!!!!!!!#ral told me to write it and i am but her servant..................... perhaps she has put me under the curse ? spooky

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dahliasroses · 5 years

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Could you describe (can be brief if it's too difficult) your alters, what are their personalities and roles I the system? Also , when did you learn you had DID? Thank you!

Oh! Sure! Well first of all, I learned that I had OSDD (which is slightly different than DID but not all that much) about six months ago during a really bad panic attack. Suddenly I heard a voice in my head reassuring me that it was all going to be okay, and I felt my first switch as one of my alters took over.

Here’s a list of everyone I know of! It’s copy/pasted from my notes.

My System

Host:

Alex

* He/they

* 18

* Bubbly, likes talking to people, helpful

* Uses the purple heart emoji

* Calmer than Kevin, but still acts a lot like him

* Autistic

Kevin

* He/him

* Age unknown; is a legal adult

* Hyper!!! Excited!!! Happy!!!

* Has a lot of feelings and they’re all really intense

* Uses the yellow heart emoji as well as this one 😊 a lot

* Sometimes gets depressed and it’s debilitating.

* Can “revert” or “relapse” into a state of mind that is devoid of emotion- it’s twisted and sick. “Happy” but empty.

Remus

* 16-19

* He/him

* Calm, studious, quiet

* He’s a moderator, kinda. He keeps us calm and makes sure things are okay in our head.

* Loves to talk about things he’s done or things he’s learned

* Loves learning

* Is British; will speak in an accent if he isn’t pretending

Juno

* Pronouns vary; genderfluid

* 39

* Cohost

* Tough, sassy, gets pissed off easily, blunt, honest

* Seems like a bad person but actually cares a lot

* A protector of sorts, tends to front when host is experiencing a stressful situation that is angering.

* Don’t be put off by Juno; if Juno likes you they can and will protect you with their life. They just come across as rude.

* Hates liars

Eddie

* He/him

* 16-25

* Spunky, hyper, sassy

* Makes the best comebacks

* Can and will call you out on your bullshit

* Kinda silly

* Tends to ramble

Jeremy

* He/him

* 17

* Quiet, shy, nervous

* Hates confrontation

* Has a hard time with people

* Will only talk to select people

Patton

* He/they

* 5 or 35

* Sweet, hyper, childish

* Kind of both everyone’s dad and everyone’s son

* Always willing to help

Cecil

* He/him

* Age unknown

* Curious, cryptic

* Will talk for hours about creepy things

* Tends to ramble

* LOVES science

Ryan

* He/him

* He’s an ancient being, millions or even billions of years old

* A literal angel

* Loves horror, conspiracy theories, and true crime

* Gets scared easily

* Anxious

* Funny

* Sassy

Rita

* She/her

* 24-25

* Cheerful, helpful, sassy

Benzaiten

* He/him

* 25-26

* Helpful, laid back, easy to laugh with

Aurora

* She/her

* Age unknown

* Princess/knight

* Constantly sleepy

Taako

* He/him

* Age unknown

* Wizard elf

* Chaotic

* Vain

* Possible underlying insecurities

You may have noticed that there’s a lot of fictives (actually, everyone but Aurora is a fictive). That is because I have autism, and my hyperfixations are where all of them are from.

I hope that helps!

#alex answers asks #osdd1b #did #dissociative identity disorder #alters

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glarehand · 5 years

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characterization/traits meme

stolen from: @xleonhart tagging: @runexxknight, @tragicbutinnocent (for any muse, if u feel up to it)

BOLD all that applies to your muse. italicized is applicable in some way.

• sibling(s): sister(s) | brother(s) | none | other

#i cant tell if i finished it the formatting is hard to deal w sometimes #obv i did this instead of doing anything important #im tired #misc #text

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wordsbyjessie · 6 years

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A writing sample for a job I didn’t get

When I talk about podcasts, as I'm forever doing, I often say that Welcome to Night Vale was my first love, or my gateway drug; both are equally accurate. For a long time, this long-form audio drama about a strange fictional town in the American southwest, narrated by the deep, gorgeous voice of Cecil Baldwin, was a casual hobby, something I listened to while walking to class or working out at the gym.

Then I graduated college and found myself commuting between my parents' house in the far northern suburbs of Chicago, an internship in the near northern suburbs of Chicago, and a part-time job in the city proper, and I spent a lot of time staring at the stretches of grey asphalt between exits 13 and 44A on Interstate 94 and thinking about how there was probably no point to anything at all and especially to my own existence. I'd reach my destination, and the thoughts would scatter like roaches at the flick of a light switch.

What brought on all that mid-transit negativity? Was the highway simply cursed? I'm still not ruling out that option, but I think what was really happening was that sitting in traffic was leaving me alone with my depressive thoughts for far too long without anything to pull me out of my dark spiral. What finally broke me out of my cycle of miserable commutes was a return to Night Vale, and later to a dozen-odd other podcasts that offered a unique kind of comfort for a brain run ragged by mental illness.

Depression and anxiety go hand in hand, not like macaroni and cheese or peanut butter and jelly, but more like "drawn" and "quartered" or "assault" and "battery." In the center of the Venn diagram of treatments that have helped me with these conditions are exactly three things: therapy, medication, and podcasts. Depression wants noise; anxiety wants quiet. Podcasts, miraculously, provide both: the sound of a single human voice telling a story, either real or fictional, can both focus the cacophonous racket of anxious thoughts and drown out the constant whisper of depression's lies.

Different podcasts soothe different aches: The Hilarious World of Depression reminds me I'm not alone and that the thing that ails me can be overcome and even laughed at; Up First strikes the balance between staying informed and staying panicked with its compact, ten-minute presentation of the news; Pop Culture Happy Hour and Nerdette give me something consistently light and engaging to listen to; and countless audio dramas—The Penumbra Podcast, Within the Wires, Wolf 359, The Bright Sessions, eos 10—scratch my infinite itch for quality sci-fi with queer representation.

But at the heart of it all is Night Vale, an odd little podcast that brought me joy when I thought there was none left in the world. And for that, I am awed and grateful.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #podcasts #writing #creative nonfiction

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leandadelisle · 6 years

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The Last Tudor and the First Stuart Christmas

At court, the twelve days of Christmas were a time for politics, intrigue and manoeuvre as well as for merry-making. Here I explore the mixed feelings induced in a courtier embroiled in the great affairs of the day, by two very different Christmases, just twelve months apart, in 1602 and 1603: the last Tudor and the first Stuart Christmas.

Queen Elizabeth’s godson, the writer and courtier Sir John Harington (1560-1612), arrived at Whitehall in time for the Christmas celebrations of 1602/3. The twelve-day celebrations were expected to be dull, but the new Comptroller, Sir Edward Wotton, who was responsible for the day-to-day running of the palace, had tried to inject fresh life into them. Dressed entirely in white, he had organized dances, bear-baiting and gambling. Courtiers were playing for the highest stakes. As Harington reflected, Elizabeth was sixty-nine: she could not live forever. The country was on the eve of change, and Harington found the prospect as exciting as it was terrifying. For all Sir Edward’s best efforts, this would not be a carefree season, but a time of jockeying for position in preparation for the regime to come, and overshadowed by the declining health of the Queen

Harington was called for an audience with the Queen soon after his arrival, and escorted along a dark passage to the Privy Chamber. Elizabeth sat on a raised platform with the Archbishop of Canterbury, John Whitgift, beside her. His plain clerical garb contrasted starkly with her bejewelled gowns and spangled wigs. People believed that Elizabeth used her glittering costumes to dazzle people so they, ‘ would not so easily discern the marks of age..’. But if so, she no longer considered them enough.

In February 1601 Elizabeth’s last great favourite, the Earl of Essex, had led a palace revolt. The childless Queen had always refused to name an heir, believing that to do so would maker her expendable. Essex hoped to force her to name James VI of Scots and to overthrow her corrupt Secretary of State, Sir Robert Cecil. The revolt had failed, Essex had been executed and his noble followers, the young Earls of Southampton and Rutland, remained in the Tower. But the episode had left Elizabeth depressed and fearful. Anxious that any intimation of mortality would attract speculation on her successor she filled out her cheeks with fine cloths and wore make up down to her breast, ‘in some places near half an inch thick.’ There were some things, however, that she could not hide.

Elizabeth’s throat was so sore, and her state of mind so troubled, that she could barely speak during Harington’s audience. When she did, it was of Essex, at which she wept and struck her breast. ‘She held in her hand a golden cup, which she often put to her lips; but in soothe’ Harington told his wife, ‘ her heart seemed too full to lack [need] more filling.’ He saw the Queen again later that night and the following day, only to discover she was not eating and had grown forgetful: he believed she had months to live. No one dared to openly voice the seriousness of her condition, but he did find, ‘some less mindful of what they are soon to lose, than of what they may perchance hereafter get’.

A new monarch would need to acquire widespread support to secure their position against rivals. That meant an opening up of the royal purse: there would be gifts of land and office and title. Harington was too discreet to name names but he told his wife he had attended a dinner with the Archbishop and that many of Elizabeth own clerics appeared to be, ‘well anointed with the oil of gladness’. The spectacle of Elizabeth misery amidst this feasting saddened Harington, but he too was full of hopes for the future - not all of them selfish.

Harington was a Protestant, but like many at court he had Catholic friends and relations. He hated their persecution by Elizabeth’s government and was aware that although King James – the great-grandson of Henry VIII’s sister, Margaret - was a Protestant his mother, Mary Queen of Scots, was regarded as akin a Catholic martyr. Harington believed James could heal the bitter divisions in England and suggested that he introduce toleration of religion in a Tract arguing James’s right of succession.

As Harington predicted Elizabeth’s health deteriorated that winter and she died in March, the last of the Tudors. Cecil immediately proclaimed James King in London. The nation held its breath for several days. But there were no uprisings in favour of other candidates for the crown, only celebrations. James promised to be all things to all men: courtiers hoped for wealth denied them by the parsimonious Elizabeth, Puritans for reform of the English Church and many Catholics, thinking their sufferings were now over, showed themselves anxious to prove their loyalty.

On April 5th James began his journey from Edinburgh to London. He was to crowned at Westminster Abbey in July, along with his wife Anna. But the celebrations at the time of his accession were now well and truly over. London’s bells tolled for thousands dying from plague, and there were courtiers and priests in the Tower on charges of treason. The optimism of the early days had dissipated and Harington was amongst the disappointed – but he was back at court for the first Christmas celebrations of James’s reign. This time they were at Hampton Court, with its forest of turrets and gilded weathervanes.

The Earl of Essex, who had rebelled against Elizabeth, was now referred to as James’s ‘martyr’, and the Earls of Southampton and Rutland were free men. But their old enemy, Cecil, remained Secretary of State. He was busy promoting the King’s unpopular plan for union between his kingdoms. And everywhere, it seemed, there were Scots, enriched by English wealth and, rumour had it, seeking the confiscated lands of the courtiers found guilty of treason against the new King.

Amongst the condemned was Elizabeth’s Captain of the Guard, Sir Walter Ralegh. He had lost his post to a Scot, Sir Thomas Erskine, in May and was convicted of subsequently trying to overthrow James in favour of his English born cousin, Arbella Stuart. Harington’s Catholic cousin, Sir Griffin Markham, was another convicted traitor, condemned for a separate plot to force James to introduce toleration of religion.

Catholic hopes had shattered as James had journeyed south, ordering general pardons for prisoners, from which Papists were excluded, along with murderers. Markham’s co-conspirators had included two priests who had been amongst James’s most vociferous supporters before his accession. The priests were hung, drawn and quartered in early December. Markham life was spared, at the cost of exile and the promise to act as a spy on his co-religionists. Harington’s hopes of royal favour had come to centre on being granted his cousin’s attainted property. But although he now mourned the Queen he had lost, all around him her memory was treated with contempt.

Harington learnt, to his disgust, that Anna had ordered Elizabeth’s best costumes be taken from the Tower to be cut up and re-arranged as costumes for her forthcoming masque, The Vision of the Twelve Goddesses. Anna herself was to perform as Pallas Athene, in a dress cut to the knee. Some thirty plays were also planned. William’s Shakespeare’s company performed several, including A Midsummer’s Night Dream and Ben Jonson’ s Sejenus, His Fall. There was a new hedonism abroad. Even the court Ladies now played drunken games, and the young heir, Prince Henry found himself being thrown around like a tennis ball by dancing courtiers after his mother’s masque.

James was chiefly occupied with entertaining visiting ambassadors, but he found time to see Harington, who had had the sense to befriend his Scots favourites. After a formal audience in the Presence Chamber, Harington was escorted to a small room furnished with a table covered in James’s paper, ink and pens. James came in shortly afterwards.

At thirty-even, James was a man of restless energy, of good height and build, but with weak legs. He usually leaned on a courtier as he walked. James was in a jovial mood, and said that he had heard a great deal about Harington’s learning. He showed off his own, quoting, ‘Aristotle, and such like writers’ and asked Harington, ‘Whether a King should not be the best clerk in his own country; and if this land did not entertain good opinion of his learning and wisdom?’ Harington reassured James everyone in England admired him. But James had other concerns. Smoking was very fashionable and James told Harington that he believed tobacco, ‘ would, by its use, infuse ill qualities on the brain.. and (he) wished it forbidden’. He was already planning a treatise, ‘A Counter-Blast to Tobacco’ and may have been writing it at the table in the room in which they stood.

A further cause for alarm, in James’s eyes, was the slack attitude to witchcraft. James asked Harington, gravely, if he knew why it was that the devil so often worked in old women? Harington couldn’t resist ‘a scurvy jest’ and replied that ‘we were taught hereof in scripture where it is told, that the devil walketh in dry places’. James enjoyed the joke, but he was in deadly earnest about the danger from witches and saw to it that witchcraft was made a capital offence in England that spring.

The conversation now led to James’s favourite subject: religion. Toleration for Catholics was a dead letter and the topic of the moment was the Conference on the English Church, shortly to be held at Hampton Court palace. James intended to thrash out a middle ground between those wished to keep the Church as it was and the more radical reforms of Puritans, who had believed James sympathised with their cause. Harington intended to witness the Conference and James closed the audience praying that Harington do him justice in his reports.

Elizabeth’s godson, ‘..made courtesy here at, and withdrew down the passage, and out at the gate, amidst the many varlets and lordly servants who stood around’. Christmas was over and the new age had dawned, but there would be no more seasons at court in which James’s popularity would outshine that of the dead Queen.

#Stuarts #tudors #Queen Elizabeth I #king james #James I

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vow-upon-a-star · 7 years

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Cloti feels!

I just wanted to post some cute Cloud and Tifa stuff for all your cloti needs. Consider this a sort of...trivia? I guess? TRIVIA TO GIVE YOU FEELS!!!!!!!!

1. Cloud and Tifa liked each other romantically for years, and were completely oblivious to it until the lifestream scene in the original game.

For many years, Cloud and Tifa have been holding favor for one another. -25th Anniversary.

Incidentally, Tifa didn’t realize he held favor for her until he informed her in the Lifestream. Even though she was called out for it to just be the two of them, she was clueless? -pg. 25, Ultimania Omega

[FFVII] Both Aerith, who is forthright, and Tifa, who is demure, have feelings for Cloud but he is none the wiser to them. -Cloud’s 10th anniversary profile.

She ventured into Lifestream together with Cloud. Amidst the course of him trying to ascertain his memories, they became aware of the feelings which each other was holding. -Tifa profile 10th AU.

Deep inside Cloud’s heart, feelings were hidden that no one knew about. Even though there were important memories to himself, many of them were forgotten. In the process of looking for the real Cloud, Tifa learns a lesson about the complexity of the human heart, and the feelings are earnestly transmitted. -FF7 Ultimania Omega, pg. 27

2. After becoming aware of their feelings for each other, they live together because of them in both Advent Children AND Dirge of Cerberus. Their romantic feelings for each other are still there and they still live together 3 years after the original game.

In FF7, Tifa is the only one who knows Cloud’s childhood, and furthermore, she holds the key to people involved in the story of Nibelheim’s burning down, which is also depicted in CC. She and Cloud came to realize their feelings for each other in the end of the story, and live together in AC and DC.- Tifa profile Crisis Core Ultimania.

3. The word used to describe Tifa’s feelings for Cloud, and his feelings for her, is the same word used between Cecil and Rosa (a canon married couple who are also childhood friends)

For many years, Cloud and Tifa have been holding favor for one another. -25th Anniversary.

長年、互いに好意を抱いていたティファとクラウド。

ちなみにティファは、クラウドか自分に好意を抱いていたということに、ライフストリームで告げられるまでまったく気づいていなかった。呼び出されてふたりきりになっているのに、結鈍感？

And as stated above, they move in together and live together because of these feelings that stay present all the way to Dirge of Cerberus!

4. After the end of FF7, Cloud was happy to start his new life and live with Tifa by his side.

“Cloud, you’re smiling.”

“I am?”

“Yeah.”

“It all starts now. A new…”

Cloud searched for the right words.

“A new life.”

“I’m going to live. I think that’s the only way I can be forgiven. We’ve been through … a lot.”

“Yeah…”

“But when I think about how many times I’ve thought about how I was going to start a new life, it’s funny….”

“Why’s that funny?”

“Because I’ve always screwed it up.”

“That’s not funny.”

“After this … I think I’ll be okay.”

Cloud became very quiet for a moment.

“Because I have you this time.”

“You’ve always had me.”

“What I mean is kind of different,”

Cloud answered with another smile. -From the novella Case of Tifa.

5. Cloud was extremely happy living with Tifa, and experienced a peace he’s never had before. Fearing he’d lose his happy life with Tifa and the children, (already established they like each other romantically) he became depressed and anxious. Once he contracted Geostigma, he left completely.

In Advent Children The happier he is now, The more Cloud is tormented by painful “memories” of the past. -10th AU Cloud’s profile

The more he realizes how happy he is living with Tifa and the children, the more the fear of losing that and regrets toward the past trouble Cloud… -10th AU Cloud’s profile

Nomura: Even though he found peace, Cloud has lost a lot of people dear to him up until this point. Not only that, but looking at Cloud’s history, this is the first time he’s experienced a ‘peaceful’ environment in the true sense of the word. Cloud is a character who will always keep thinking, regardless of what’s going on around him. -Distance (The Making of AC)

Nomura: Cloud tried to move on once…but he was hurt by the losses he experienced in the battles he fought in the game story. Even after all of that he still found a peaceful life and that made him scared. He lost it all once already and he could lose it all again. even though he was there he couldn’t do anything to prevent it the last time. So the happier he is, the more lonely he becomes. -Distance (The Making of AC)

Nojima: Cloud never had a candid personality to begin with, and although he started living with Tifa and even started working, he obtained a peaceful living he’s never experienced before, and this conversely made him anxious. And in the midst of this he contracts Geostigma himself, and rather than being able to protect the people dear to him, he instead was forced to face his own death, and so ran away. -AC prologue

Nomura: Cloud is scared that the peace he has now might shatter, so he is living on his own.

Because he contracted Geostigma, Cloud left Tifa and the children, and began living in the Slum church. FF7 10th AU Complete Timeline

Because he contracted Geostigma, he left Tifa and the children, and began living in the Slum church. FF7 10th AU Cloud Strife Profile.

Now running a delivery business while helping out Tifa with the newly opened “Seventh Heaven” bar, Cloud, Tifa, Marlene and Denzel lived together like a family. However, when Cloud contracts Geostigma he disappears. Behind these actions lies feelings of guilt towards his past failure to protect people who were important to him, but through his battle with Kadaj’s gang, the legacy of Jenova, he regains the courage to face reality. -FF7 10th AU Cloud Strife profile

6. He moves back in with Tifa and the children once his Geostigma is cured! And continues to live with her in Dirge of Cerberus. (Stated above, they live together because of their romantic feelings)

At the end of a long struggle, she gently welcomes back Cloud on his return home after settling things with himself.-Tifa’s Dengeki profile.

Aerith lends her power to the people suffering from Geostigma in Edge, and personally provides for Cloud’s recovery. Geostigma is cured. Cloud returns to Tifa and the children. FF7 timeline 10th Anniversary

Cloud and Tifa

Cloud and Tifa are childhood friends, both born in Nibelheim. When Cloud leaves the village, he calls Tifa out to the water tower and promises that he will become a SOLDIER. At the same time, he is also made by Tifa to promise that he will come to rescue her if she is ever in trouble.

Following this, the pair experience many hardships, such as the Nibelheim incident which also appears in CC, and the Jenova War in FFVII, and through these the distance between them shortens. And in AC they live together, with Barret’s daughter Marlene and a boy named Denzel. Though there was also a period later where Cloud lived away from them after having contracted Geostigma, they finally reach a commune with each over and return to living together once again. In DC, they rush together to Vincent’s aid, in his battle against Deep Ground SOLDIER. Crisis Core Complete Guide Keyword

#cloti

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