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writingfandomfeels · 5 years

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Scott McCall - Stories From Camp

Every kid always has stories from their times at camp. They get excited sharing them and they almost always include something adventurous and amazing. Not you. The idea of being stranded in the woods with strangers telling you what to do, when to eat, what to eat, and basically giving you chores, sounded a bit like the definition of prison, just in the wilderness. But apparently others found that very appealing. You figured once you’d passed grade school the question of summer camp was no longer there, and yet, here you were. All in the name of college applications. Volunteer work looks good on college applications and since you liked kids you thought you’d try out this camp counselor business. Quick into the gig you found yourself having a lot of fun, especially when it came to another camp counselor: Scott. He was amazing with the kids. You’d already had quite a few shifts with him, each one leaving you grinning like an idiot. At the moment you were on your way to conducting arts and crafts with him and his friend, and honestly, you’d been looking forward to it all day.

You stood at the head of the long table where the group of small children were talking and playing around with the craft supplies in front of them.

“If everyone could… if, I could have your attention… if you could please listen…” You stuttered, trying to get the attention of the young group to give the instructions.

“Hey everyone!!! Let’s all listen to what counselor Y/N has to say and then we’ll make our crafts, okay?!!” Scott projected his voice above the many others and the children quieted down for you.

“Thanks” you smiled at him then proceeded to give the instructions on the craft. The kids were given the option of either making a card for someone, or making caterpillars out of cut up egg cartons and decorating them.

“What’s your caterpillar’s name Stiles?” A little boy asked Scott’s friend who was decorating an egg carton next to the child.

“What? It’s an egg carton.” Stiles replied.

You saw Scott (who’s face was covered in stickers a little girl had put on him) give Stiles a look, seeming to ask him to be nice to the kid.

“Uhhh, Jimmy.” Stiles named the carton.

The boy inspected the carton before shaking his head. “No, I think his name is Randall.”

“Okay, fine, then it’s Randall.” Stiles begrudgingly gave in.

As you helped a kid with the glitter glue, you overheard Scott and the little girl he was sitting with.

“Wow! That looks amazing! What do you think it should say inside?” Scott asked her.

“Ummmm, well she has really pretty hair. Maybe you should say her hair is pretty.” The little girl suggested.

“Thats a great idea!” Scott encouraged. “You should write that down for me.”

The little girl spelled it out loud as she wrote it down with a marker.

“I gotta peeeee!!!”

Your attention was quickly stolen from Scott and the girl as a boy stood in front of you, grabbing his crotch and dancing a little.

“Oh! Okay, let’s go now.” You responded and quickly got up to escort him.

When you returned, the group was cleaning up. The little girl Scott was with ran over to you and handed you the card she’d been working on.

“Scott wanted me to help him make it” She beamed.

“Thank you!” You accepted the folded, bright red, construction paper.

On the front was a glitter glue flower and a heart that was still drying. Flecks of extra glitter fell off the card with every touch. On the inside it read:

TO: Y/N. YORE HAIR IS RELY PRITTY. With a few of the letters written backwards. Then it had the word “love” scribbled out and replaced with FRM: SCOTT MADE BY MARIE

You felt a blush heating your cheeks. “That was very sweet of you.”

The boy that you’d returned with from the bathroom grabbed at your arm to try and pull it down for him to see the card too.

“Ewww.” The boy grimaced. “Is Mr. Scott your boyfriend?”

Well if your cheeks weren’t bright red before, they definitely were now. Your eyes darted up, seeing Scott smile from across the room. Quickly you shot your eyes down, trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Umm, no, he’s, he’s not.” You replied awkwardly.

“Oh. Well he should be. People don’t get gross like that unless they’re in love.” The boy informed with a shudder that made you giggle.

Once the craft supplies were completely cleaned up, you found yourself leaving the art cabin at the same time as Scott. You smiled at him bashfully. A moment passed as you were trying to get up the courage to say something to him, when a boy ran by yelling.

“OHHHH, AHHH, OH NOOOOO, IT’S… HAPPENING!!!!!” The boy yelled and fell to the ground, seeming to be in pain.

“Are you okay?!” You worried, rushing to the boy’s side.

“IT’S, IT’S THE FULL MOON, AHHHHH” The boy continued to scream. “I’M. I’M. I’M A WEREWOLF!!!!! AWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!” The boy howled. “RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Unimpressed, you frowned at the child. You really thought something had been wrong when he was, quite literally, just crying wolf. Meanwhile Scott just grinned at him.

“Actually kid, if you get practiced at it you can control when you turn into a werewolf despite the full moon.” Scott disclosed.

“Whoa.” The kid stared at him in disbelief. “COOL!!!!” Then he ran off continuing to howl and growl at other kids, occasionally pretending to eat them.

“Into mythology I take it?” You questioned, relieved to have finally found something to say.

“You could say that.” Scott nodded.

A silence fell on the two of you again. Apparently your conversation starter only scratched the ice rather than breaking it.

“I, uh, I’ve got canoeing next.” Scott gestured behind him to the lake.

“Oh, that must be nice. You can cool off in the water.” You replied nervously.

He smiled. “Uhh, not so much actually. You, don’t really get wet. That’s… kind of what the boat is for.” He chuckled a bit.

“Oh. Right. Yeah, of course, I don’t know why I-” You were cut off when another counsellor called Scott from a distance.

“Scott!”

“Yeah!” He responded.

“We need you at the lake now!”

“Yeah! I’m on it!” Scott replied. “Sorry, gotta run.”

“I-right, yeah, that’s- okay, see you later!” You called after him as he ran off.

***

You didn’t see Scott again until the next night when you were sat across the fire from him. He had brought his guitar and was playing classic camp songs for the kids. After it was discovered that you have a knack for roasting marshmallows, you turned into The Official Best Marshmallow Roaster to most of the kids, receiving many requests to ‘pretty please roast my marshmallow for me Miss Y/N’, and of course you happily complied.

“Alright, who wants to hear me write a song right now about anything you want?” Scott asked after finishing Down By The Bay. The kidlets cheered. “What do you want to hear a song about?” Different kids began yelling out ideas. “BUGS!”

“CATS!” “MY GRANDMA!” “BOOGERS!” “MISS Y/N!” The last one caught Scott’s attention. “Ahh, I don’t know.” he responded. “WHO WANTS COUNSELLOR SCOTT TO SING ABOUT COUNSELLOR Y/N?!” Stiles stood up and asked the kids. “YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” All the kids yelled in response. “The jury has spoken.” Stiles stated and sat back down. “Um, okay,” Scott smiled nervously then fiddled with his guitar, trying to find a certain chord. He then proceeded to play an awkward but extremely cute song featuring how nice you are to everyone, the color of your eyes, how you like to eat toast for breakfast in the mess hall and so does he, and how great you’ve been making the summer for everyone. When he finished there was a brief silence which was rare with so many kids around. A little girl approached you and tapped you on your knee. “Miss Y/N, will you please go out with Mr Scott?” The girl asked politely. You pressed your lips together in an attempt not to smile and blush even harder than the song had made you. “Oh c’mon you guys! What, you don’t think I can get my own dates?” Scott teased the kids before smiling back at you.

“Noooooo!” The kids answered. Another counsellor then changed the topic by starting to sing Baby Shark. Your eyes were still locked with Scott’s, both of you smiling at each other. “Do you want to?” Scott mouthed over the many singers. You nodded your head. All you ever wanted was to go on a date with him. And after that song? It was dumb to say but you were melting. “Okay” He mouthed again, nodding excitedly too. Then he jumped in with his guitar and playing the music for Baby Shark.

***

Just after the campfire was disbanded, a very young child handed you a paper then disappeared without saying a word. You unfolded the note and read it.

Meet me on the dock at 10:30 -Scott

You grinned at the paper before slipping it into your pocket. Once your cabin was tucked in and fast asleep, along with all the other cabins, you walked down to the dock. You found Scott sitting on the edge of it, his feet hanging into the lake. Taking a seat next to his flip flops, you joined him. “I liked your song.” You said, your eyes fixed on the lake, too nervous to look at him. “Thanks,” You kicked your feet in the water a little bit. “So, uh, what brought you to camp this year?” You asked, attempting to make conversation. “My mom suggested it. Volunteer work makes it easier to get into colleges and universities and Stiles and I could use all the help we can get.” He answered. “Where do you want to go? Or, what do you want to do?” “I’d like to be a veterinarian. I’ve been working at a clinic for a few years now and I love it.” He smiled. “That’s so cool! I love animals. Although I guess I don’t really know anyone who hates them… I mean who can look at a puppy and hate it, that’s just inhuman.” You babbled a bit, making him laugh. “No, it’s true.” Scott agreed. Suddenly your stomach let out an embarrassingly loud growl. “Are you hungry?” He asked. “Yeah,” you admitted, “I’m used to snacking a lot at home so I haven’t really gotten used to the set meals and things here yet.” “You know, I have a key to the mess hall. You wanna sneak in and check out what leftovers are in the kitchen?” “Sure!” “Okay, let’s go!” He stood up from the dock, and took your hand, leading you up to the mess hall. Your stomach fluttered in excitement at the feeling of his hand holding yours. He unlocked the door and you crept inside. Unsure of where the light switches were located, Scott used his phone to light your way. Once in the kitchen, the dim light from inside the fridge illuminated the room. “Now what do we have here, chicken, apples, macaroni salad, ooh!” Scott reached in and pulled out an already cut into blueberry pie. “How about this?” “Looks delicious.” You replied, staring at the pie. He cut a slice for both of you and grabbed forks. You stood next to the preparation counter to eat. While eating, the two of you discussed your hobbies, your friends, and your last year of high school approaching. “It’s all happening so fast, you know?” He agreed. “Yeah, in some ways it feels like high school didn’t start all that long ago. But then you remember everything that’s happened since then. All the changes.” “I hate change.” You stated, shaking your head a bit. “I know I’ve been working towards Harvard, what feels like my entire life, but now… I don’t know it just seems so soon. I don’t want to leave my friends and have it all be different.” “Sometimes change can be good though… right?” Scott said, putting down his fork. You shrugged, still eating your pie. “I guess. I don’t know… it depends.” He took a step closer to you and gently brushed a strand of your hair so it was behind your ear. “What about this?” he asked softly. You looked into his sweet brown eyes. “This… is good…” A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “And this?” He leaned in, pressing his lips to yours, his hand cupping your face. Your heart pounded inside your chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Fingers tangled into his hair as you kissed him back. He moved his hands to your waist, his tongue gently grazing your bottom lip, seeking entry. Opening your mouth for him, you felt his tongue glide across yours, you replied back in a similar motion. The kiss was broken too quickly though as you felt him suddenly pull away and the lights flick on. You opened your eyes to find a boy in his pyjamas standing in front of the two of you. “What, uh, what are you doing out of bed?” Scott questioned the boy. “What are you doing in the kitchen so late when you’re not kitchen staff?” the boy replied. “That’s… that’s a good point.” Scott paused, looking at you. You gave him a sheepish grin. Scott looked back to the kid. “I won’t tell if you wont?” “Give me a slice of that pie on the counter there and you got yourself a deal.” he bargained. Scott handed over the last slice in the pie plate to him. “I was never here.” the kid said, leaving with his pie. You giggled when Scott turned back to you, breathing a sigh of relief. “We, uh, we should probably get out of here before that happens again.” he suggested. You nodded your head, stifling laughter at the situation.

That was definitely your best camp story.

#scott mccall #scott mccall x reader #scott mccall imagine #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf x reader #my writing

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princeyitz · 5 years

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[ loner | family oriented | lazy ]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG why r there so many questions </3

@viiavi tagged me(and mayb someone else??? i dont know tumblr notifs are awful)

uhhhmmm i tag @ratboysims @felicitum @bullsim @keysims @bratsims and uhhmmmmm any1 else that wants to do it just say i tag u

also here’s a bad edit of my simselfs outfit its cute and basically what i wear everyday gotta wear those nikes get some good ass arch support u feel me

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? byrd

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? byrdie, b

3. BIRTHDAY? june 3rd babey

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? harry potter

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye s

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? i dont think i have one. picking faves for literature has always been hard for me

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? i listen 2 podcasts

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? ummm dark chocolate or mango

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? awesome

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? thank you next look its a good song ok

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? ridiculous but how my mom says it like a harry potter spell

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? ummmm something by halsey i think

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? im binge watching greys anatomy so that i guess but also my fave show of all time stargate

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? moana

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yea

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? failure

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i give good cuddles

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i have no patience and i worry too much

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? yes(dogs)

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yes! we’re getting married next october :-)

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? no responsibilities!!! no bills!!!! also my moms cooking

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? her name is lauren but also my fiance and my dog

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? dark green

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my fam, my fiance, my dogs, my close friends

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my fiance 100%

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? my parents i worry about their health and also my sister bc she’s in a new relationship

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? my sisters dog just had puppies so im excited to see them

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm rn sims

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? probably rugrats and also x files

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my dad

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? hell yes big time

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? well i still cant drive so like. driving i guess

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?uhhh behind i hate when others take pics of me lol

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? writing and simblr i guess

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? actually i think it was the adventure zone graphic novel does that count

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? the crimes of grindelwald

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i can sing

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? owls

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? i feel like im on the spot ummmmm @felicitum @keysims @smart--milk @surreysimmer @hesitantpixels

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? u ever seen heroes? remember how peter was like a sponge well i wish i could do that but with like, normal knowledge/skills. like if i met someone who was a carpenter or dr i could shake their hand and i knew everything they did about that and could learn new languages that way too. i wanna b a sponge

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my bed w my fiance and dogs in a cuddle pile

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? when we ask blu if she’s a sleepy baby and she tilts her head

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? none bitch

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? water all day every day im a camel hi

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? uhhh probably recently at work

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? as i get older yes

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? when people talk down to me because of my identity or age

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yea!! the last one we went to was p!nk im pretty sure

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? no

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cardiologist

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? hmmmmmmmm probs harry potter tbh

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? money!!!!

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? yes and no

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yup!!! i dont sing as often as i used to tho its sad

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? no

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? i really love big bear and catalina island

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? doesnt really matter as long as its not a big city and relatively close to family

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? we have 2 doggos

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? tbh i am a mix of both now, tho i used to be a night owl

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunset

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? no :-)

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds sometimes headphones hurt my ears esp bc i always wear glasses

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yes and im getting war flashbacks

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? pretty much anything besides hardcore rap, country, and religious music, also nothing too poppy

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? probs my mama

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? ye

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? when they only brew decaf at work

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? both

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? i really loved english

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? i have two brothers and two sisters

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? flowers for my mother in law

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′7″

75. CAN YOU COOK? yes

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? coffee, purple flowers, the lil potbellies that all puppies have

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? decaf coffee, peas, when people say my name wrong

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uhhh i guess just bc thats who im around more

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? gay af my dudes

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? i live in southern california

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my mom i think

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? a while ago

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? garrett watts is fun

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? sure

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? digit it saves me money

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? im super close with my parents and relatively close w my fiances parents as well

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? hmmm probs middle eastern

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? seattle

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? lmao no

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? both but i tend to lean more towards the ocean

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? not at all im a chicken

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? nope

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? y...es

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? n o?

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when i am wrong lol i dont care too much about being right

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest 100%

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? trust your instincts

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? yes

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? hufflepuff

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? sometimes

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? v big introvert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? no

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? kind of

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? pick it up and return it to its owner

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? yes but they have to believe in it too

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? yes but u cant tell nobody knows ok thanks

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yeah they’re cool

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? my ears and my septum

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? sam carter from stargate shes smart

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yeah i have 10 i think

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? opening up to people

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? 110% yes

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? yeah i want 5 but i dont think i can afford that many someone start a gofundme for my future babeys

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my best friend

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? i told my middle school crush that i liked her and then she told everyone and thats the story of how i repressed me sexuality until i was 20

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? many times

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yes but carefully planned and well thought out adventures where i have a checklist and a binder of all the information i need listen i am v anxious everything is scary

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? when i was a baby i was on the news lmao

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 25

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? to thine own self be true wow super lame and cliche thanks im tired is this done yet

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i dont have much of a sweet tooth

#tagged #about #simself #i stayed up past my bedtime to do this #im sleepy

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djddueces · 5 years

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An Idol in Teal, Chapter 1

Hey guys. I wanted to ask you something. I wrote this years ago, and I’m only just finding it now, nostalgia hitting me, me crying like a little baby (kind of lol). If you have the time to read this, tell me what you think of it, and feedback is greatly appreciated. I am trying to be a journalist, and by writing like this, I think it will help me.

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“Miku, we’re ready for your mic check,” yelled Luka from backstage. The pink haired beauty trotted over to the audio panel.

“Hai! One sec!” said the teal haired diva. She picked up a microphone and walked onto stage. She looked at the empty seats that would be filled up within the hour. Every time she got up on stage, she felt as if her stomach had butterflies in it. She wanted nothing more than to sing to her heart’s content to her loyal fans.

“Luka, ready when you are!” Miku yelled towards backstage. The microphone made a humming noise, indicating that Luka had heard Miku’s request. Miku took a deep breath and sighed into the microphone.

“Hey Luka, if you can hear me, isn’t this crazy? I mean we’re just two average girls who flew halfway across the world to the most famous city in the world. Actually, forget that. TO THE USA! Who would have ever thought I would be doing some kind of mini World Tour like this. It’s surreal. Also, pardon my language I’m just really happy about all of this! Thinking about my life, it’s been such a roller coaster. I’ve had my ups, my downs, my blackouts, my fights, but most importantly, I’m doing what I love. I couldn’t be happier right now.” Miku sat down on the edge of the stage and standing behind her was Luka, who sat down next to the girl with the pigtails.

“Well, you ARE Hatsune Miku you idiot. Everyone loves you. Seriously, what’s up with that? You know I joined your little “group” just so I could get more famous than you.” She sneered and tilted her head away from Miku, who just snickered in response.

“How is this my fault?” Miku giggled. “You WANTED to join me. If I remember correctly, you were all “MIKU LET ME JOIN AND DO A SONG WITH YOU I CAN PROVE IM A BETTER SINGER THAN YOU!” Man, the tears that were rolling down your face was too funny.” She continued to laugh, which just angered Luka.

“Listen you little shit, you wouldn’t be where you are today, and you owe me!” She scowled at Miku. Miku stared up at the ceiling, as if this was some magical anime moment where something sentimental was about to happen. That or a wind would come out of nowhere and over exaggerate the whole scene.

“You’re absolutely correct. I wouldn’t. Not without you, without Len and Rin, Meiko and Kaito. Even the other Vocaloids like Gumi and IA and Yukari. All of you have taught me so much….” She placed her face into her palms. Tears formed at the edge of her eyes. Thinking about all of this caused her to become emotional, and the only one she could really cry in front of besides her mother, was Luka.

“Miku, please don’t cry.” She wrapped her arms around Miku and stroked her hair.

“Everyone’s moved on with their lives. I mean, I know Gumi and IA are around for me still, and there’s the other up and coming Vocaloids, but I miss the original crew. And soon, how do I know that I you’ll still be around Luka? Everyone else left, so how do I know that you’ll still be around. Why am I even thinking about this right now? I shouldn’t be crying over the past…..” She continued to sob as Luka hugged her.

“This is the life of an idol. It’s the life YOU chose. You have to take the good with the bad, and turn it into something positive. You’re creative, you’re talented, and you’re amazingly perfect in every way Miku.” Luka blushed.

“Are you…trying to hit on me or….?” Miku wiped away her tears and glanced up at Luka, curiously. Her eyes were like kaleidoscopes. They glimmered in the stage light due to the leftover tears still engulfed in her eyes. Luka retaliated and pushed Miku away, her words and face flustered.

“Idiot, what are you saying?!?”

‘I’m saying that you’re hitting on me. Do you want to be lesbian lovers? I mean, I’m cool with that and all, and if we are, I’m glad it’s you.” Miku gave no hesitation in her answer, speaking almost as if it sounded believable.

“MIKU HATSUNE WHAT THE HELL?!”

“I dunno, just a thought.”

“Miku, you know you’re like a sister to me right?”

“Ah, friendzoned, the classic.”

Luka sighed and stood up. “Come back to me when you’ve gotten more mature.”

“NO LUKA DON’T LEAVE ME IN MY TIME OF NEED!” She pounced on Luka like a cat and clinged to her waist.”

“GET OFF OF ME! How do you go from happy, to sad, and now to excited?? You are so weird Miku it’s not even funny…..”

“Heh heh, excited.”

“OH GROW UP BITCH.” She stormed off the stage, returning to her dress up counter backstage. Miku scratched her head and yelled towards the backstage.

“NO LUKA COME LOVE ME!” but Luka ignored her. “Seriously, I was just trying to cheer myself up.” Miku looked around once more at the empty ballroom. “I never noticed how pretty Hammerstein is. New York City itself is gorgeous, but there are also the people that give me the creeps.” Goosebumps trailed down her shoulders and a she shuddered.

“Luka is right though, I choose the idol life.” She hopped off stage and towards the back entrance of the ballroom, where hundreds of fans would rush into soon to see her perform. She peaked through the little crack in the door to see if the coast was clear to venture around. It was empty. Slowly, she pushed open the door, which creaked slightly. She walked into the hall, where her merchandise stand was still on display.

“I want a hat of me.” She took the hat out of the box behind the counter, and put it on. She proceeded to take out her phone and open the front facing camera.

“Haha, selfie time.” Just as she was about to snap the picture, a tall figure stood behind her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” said the tall figure, his voice deep and intimidating.

“Umm, selfie time?” Said Miku jokingly.

“What’s with the hat?” He pointed to Miku’s head.

“Ummmm, I’m wearing myself? You know I’m Hatsune Miku right??”

“How do I know that?”

“Wanna check my ID?” She searched for her wallet, which she couldn’t find. “Oh damn I must have left it back stage.”

“Uh huh. Come with me missy.” He snatched the hat from her head and threw it back in the box.

“IM SERIOUS! IM HATSUNE MIKU!!” She screamed, but almost immediately covered her hand with her mouth. She didn’t want the crowd outside to hear her. Who knows what would happen if they found out that Hatsune Miku was live and unguarded. The thought made her fear for her life. She loved her fans and all, but with the good also comes that bad, and she didn’t want to meet the bad.

“I’ll give you one chance to prove it. How do I know you’re REALLY Miku?” The tall figure, who was actually one of the bodyguards from the ballroom, folded his hands across his chest and sneered at her.

“Dude, seriously? Wipe that weird look off your face. It’s creeping me out.” She took out her phone again and dialed a number.

“You’re lucky I’m giving you a chance, don’t tempt me lady.” The phone started ringing and a familiar voice was on the other line.

“Hello?” said the familiar voice.

“OH GOOD LUKA! Thank you for picking up!”

“Huh? Miku? What’s going on? Where are you? Did you get yourself into trouble again?

“E GASP LUKA! Why I never! Why would you accuse me on such grounds?”

“Because I KNOW you Miku. You always wander about and do stupid things and then I come bail you out like always.” She sighed and Miku knew she was facepalming by the “smack” noise that she heard on the other line. “What do you need me to do now, Hime-sama Miku??”

“Here’s the story. So I wanted to get my mind off of what we were discussing before. I strolled around and took a look outside. I got curious about my merchandise here and took one of my own hats and baldy here caught me and is accusing me of grand larceny and I need you to come here and prove to him that I’m Hatsune Miku and not some fan with a wig before he throws me in the slammer and makes me clean bathrooms for a living, okay? Okay. Thanks hun. Love you!”

“Baldy?!” said the bodyguard. Miku chuckled nervously.

“Not happening,” said Luka.

“WAIT? EH!? WHY NOT!?” Miku went into a panic frenzy.

“Because you said we were lesbian lovers and I do not approve against some heinous accusations.” She was about to hang up, but Miku’s constant pleas were annoying Luka, and she eventually succumbed to temptation.

“FINE. Holy shit, shuddup!” Luka screamed and Miku had to pull the phone away from her ear since Luka screamed so loud she might blow her eardrum off.

“Heh heh, you’re picking up a New York accent. I think it’s sexy. Rarwl.” She bursted into laughter but there was no one on the other side of the line. Luka had hung up.

“Huh? Hey? Luka? Luuukkkkkaaaa? DON’T LEAVE ME IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE IN PRISON!” Miku got onto her knees and held out her hands. “Take me away coppa I’ve been a bad girl.” He grabbed her arm and picked her up.

“I know that voice anywhere. That’s the real Luka. And you’re the real Miku. I’m sorry for accusing you….” He bowed his head.

“It’s no worries. I just didn’t want to be cooped up in that ballroom. I mean, it’s beautiful and all, but I really want to explore New York City. I’ve been here before in 2014 when I did my first ever show here, but was confined to a very tight schedule filled with guest appearances and photo shoots and I really never got time to spend alone in the city, ya know? Man, guess I’m picking up your accents huh?”

The bodyguard handed Miku her hat back. “But don’t you have a show soon? You can’t disappoint your fans can you?”

“No, I meant after my two shows here. Sadly, I’m departing from here tomorrow morning. I can still spend one more night here. I always wanted to know what a Saturday night in New York City feels like, but since my show lets out late just like in 2014, I don’t think I’ll have time to.” She slouched her shoulders. “Man, I need a vacation.” Interested in her story, the bodyguard walked towards the ballroom doors.

“They’ll be letting people in soon. About an hour right?” He looked at his watch. It’s 12:30. VIP ticket holders are about to enter. And you’re show starts and 1:30, but you have someone else as your opening act, correct?

Miku nodded. “Yeah, Anamanaguchi, so what?”

“Well,” the bodyguard continued, “that means you won’t start until about 2:15-2:30 since your show initially starts at around 1:30. Since concerts never start on time, we’ll say around 1:45. I’d love to hear about your backstory.”

Miku was shocked. Never once has someone been curious about what her childhood was like and all the struggles it took to get here. A small smile crossed her face and she was really happy. She had so much pent up energy and she wanted to rant but no one would ever listen to her.

“But why?” Miku asked curiously.

“Honestly, to kill time,” the bodyguard said straightforwardly.

“Thanks….” Miku said sarcastically.

“Not only that, but I never get to do shows with idols like you. Most here are stuck up and crazy. But you, I can tell you’re not like that, and deep down, you’re caring and have a lot of sympathy for the ones around you. You’re different.” Miku’s smile was obvious now, and she started tearing up again.

“I haven’t heard someone talk about me like that in a long time that’s not named Luka or my mom. Thank you, er, what’s your name?” She looked around for some kind of ID, a nametag specifically, but found nothing.

“You can call me Jasper,” the bodyguard said.

“OOOH, cool name, and you already know mine,” she giggled. Jasper stood up and pointed upstairs. Come on, I know a place where we can chat quietly. Plus, your fans will be entering soon.” Miku nodded and stood up, following Jasper. They walked up the stairs, and down a long hallway, which led to another flight of stairs. Another hallway soon after led to the upper-most level of the ballroom.

“WOAH! I can see my house from here!” Miku said, jokingly. “But wait; won’t fans be coming here also soon??”

“Yes, in about a half an hour, but we’re not staying here, follow me.” At the back of the upper-most level was a small room, which looked to be some kind of mini-bar that was built into the ballroom. “Come, we can talk here.” Without hesitation, Miku continued to follow along. The room was small and comfy. In the middle was a small bar, filled with all kinds of different assortments of drinks, from kid-friendly such as Coca-Cola and Hi-C to hard liquor like Jack Daniels. Miku could sure use a drink right now.

Surrounding the back of the room were couches with coffee tables. To the inner-most part of the room near the entrance, were small dining tables, no larger than the size of a desk. Jasper directed Miku to one of the tables and sat down.

“We should be fine here. We’re out of sight. If someone comes in, they’re gonna have to look pretty hard at you to see who you are unlike if we sat at the other end of the room where we’re exposed and everyone can see easily.”

“I guess you have a point.” Miku eyed the bar, but knew she would have to wait to guzzle anything down until after her show. She didn’t want to be drunk on stage after all.

“So what do you want to know about me? My name is Hatsune Miku, I’m an idol, I sing, I dance, I do commercials. I’m basically like a puppet that can’t cut its strings loose from this industry.” She folded her hands and sat upright. “I understand I choose this lifestyle, but sometimes it can drain me, both physically and emotionally. I need a break, but I’m doing show after show after show. I’m tired man.”

Jasper looked at Miku not with sympathy, but more of curiosity. “So how goes it?”

“How goes what?” Miku said with one eyebrow up.

“How did the famous Hatsune Miku come to be? What motivated her? What got her in the clear? How did she become “Hatsune Miku?” That is your real name right?”

“YES, that IS my name,” she said sarcastically.

“Sorry, but you know how other singers like to change their names for some reason.”

“Yeah dude I know….They’re dumb. I try not to associate myself with people who are don’t even know their own identity.” Jasper let out a hardy laugh.

“For someone who seems to be so nice, you also have anger issues.” Miku kicked him from under the table and pouted.

“So you really want to know all about me? I guess this is some kind of interview, or oral biography.” Miku nodded her head and folded her arms, smiling confidently.

“Well, here goes. The life of me, the most famous idol, HATSUNE MIKU!”

#hatsune miku #hatsunemiku #mikuhatsune #VOCALOID

4 notes · View notes

ebhenah · 5 years

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Klancemas December 17: Decorating

@monthlyklance

Klancemas 2018

"Candy Cane"

Dec 17: Decorating

(A future Klance-Family Fic)

CW: discussion of surgical repair of a badly broken bone

“I wanna go HOME,” Kashi grumbled, “I don’t like it here.”

“I know buddy, but that’s a bad break,” Lance said, ruffling the five year old’s hair, “and they might need to do surgery to fix it.”

“Am I gonna get a cool robot leg like Uncle Shiro’s arm?” His eyes danced with excitement at the thought.

“Ummm... no… and I’m pretty sure Uncle Shiro would have liked to be able to keep the arm he was born with.”

“Uhhhhh… Papi,” Kashi’s voice was… just far too condescending for a five year old. Someone was being a bad influence on his baby and he was gonna get to the bottom of it- as soon as life was back to normal. “Have you even SEEN Uncle Shiro’s arm? Cuz, it is like SUPER cool. He can open the fridge and get a drink from the couch! THE COUCH, Papi!”

“Hmmm…” he nodded thoughtfully, “yeah. That’s pretty cool. I know your regular old leg must seem pretty boring, but you aren’t getting a robot one. Sorry, dumpling.”

“Awww,” he deflated, flopping back dramatically and knocking his pillows to the floor and Lance had to shake his head at him, moving to restore the pillows to where they belonged.

Before he could say anything encouraging, the doctor popped into the room. “Mr. Um… Ko-gain?”

“Ko-gah-nee,” Kashi said patiently. “Ta-Kah-shi Ko-gah-nee… but everyone calls me Kashi.”

“I see,” the doctor said, “thank-you Kashi, but I was actually trying to speak with your dad. Mr. Ko- LANCE?!?!”

He looked up from where he’d been fussing over Kashi’s pillows. The doctor was a pretty woman. Tall, with honey brown hair and kind eyes, but he didn’t recognize her until she smiled, “oh my God! Xo!”

“Lance McClain,” she laughed, “wow- I was not expecting… Hi.”

“Hi,” he laughed, “this is… definitely a surprise!”

“Ummmm… Hi!” Kashi joined in, “Papi’s name’s not McClain, it’s Kogane.”

“Kashi, don’t be rude! Sorry, Xo… or I guess, I should call you Xiomara? I know you hated the nickname.”

“Yeah, I prefer Xiomara… Dios, it’s been… what? 15 years?”

“At least… closer to 20 I think. Wow… you’re a doctor. That’s amazing! Good for you!”

“Says the Paladin of Voltron,” she laughed, “Kashi- did you know that when your Papi was about your age, he tried to build his very own spaceship. He even named it!”

“He did?” Kashi was hooked, he ate up stories about his parents childhoods.

“Mmhmmm… it was… oh! I remember! Mirador De Estrellas,” she sat in the empty chair beside Lance, “not a bad name for a spaceship.”

“Dr. Marichal was very good friends with your Tia Rachel,” Lance explained, “so she was at our house a lot when I was your age.”

“I’m not allowed to say it, but Tia Rachel is my favorite,” Kashi chirped.

“Seriously Kashi? If you KNOW you aren’t allowed to say it, why did you say it right in front of me?” Lance threw his arms out in exasperation.

“I dunno,” Kashi just shrugged.

“Sorry about him,” Lance said, shaking his head slowly, “he’s… one of a kind.”

“Gee, I wonder where he gets that,” she laughed.

“Tia Veronica is supposed to be my favorite,” Kashi explained, “cuz she grew me in her belly… but she’s too bossy… and Tia Rachel lets me eat raw cookie dough.”

“Takashi Kogane!” Lance gasped, horrified. “Please tell me this is from pain medication!”

She glanced at the chart, and looked sheepish, “sorry… unless he has an unusual response, none of the medications should cause… umm… this.”

Lance dropped his face into his hands, “Kashi, dumpling, you are killing your Papi right now.”

“At least we are in a hospital,” Kashi pointed out.

That made Xiomara choke back a laugh. “Oh man… I like this kid of yours, Lance. Should we go over the treatment plan while I get a look at Kashi here?”

“Yes, please,” he said, shooting Kashi a look.

“Right, so, it… could be worse, but we aren’t looking at an ideal situation.” She checked Kashi’s vitals as she spoke. “Ideally we would want to see a nice clean fracture that would be easy to set, pin in place and let it heal. But what we are looking at here is multiple close together breaks, so we definitely need to get him into surgery, and we will be needing to utilize some… uhh… new technology.”

“You mean alien tech,” Kashi said clearly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Doctors hate to say that they are using alien tech… cuz of bigots. We’re not bigots. You can say alien tech.”

“Alright then, yes, alien tech,” she corrected, ducking her head and listening to his chest to hide her smile, “you know Kashi, most kids your age are afraid to say stuff like that to doctors. You’re a brave guy.”

“He is pretty… umm.. Outspoken, in general. But, his sister has Sandacies Syndrome,” Lance explained, “so we spend a lot of time around medical stuff… and most of her care is overseen by the Olkari.”

“Oh. I am very sorry, Sandacies is a tough diagnosis. How old is she?”

“Talia’s eight,” Lance answered, “and thanks. She’s doing really well, though.”

“Has Kashi been tested for Sandacies markers?”

“Talia’s adopted,” Kashi said, “so’s Rai, but me and Thace are surro-babies.”

“I see,” she said with a smile, “so, as I was saying- we’ll be using some new medical tech from Puig. It’s a biofoam. So, once we stabilize the break, we wrap a sleeve around the affected area, place the screws, and fill the sleeve with the biofoam. Over the course of a few weeks, Kashi’s own bone will replace the foam and he’ll be good as new. The surgery is pretty involved, though, and he’ll need to stay here for at least a week afterwards so we can monitor him. We don’t have a whole lot of information on how human dna interacts with this tech yet, so we like to keep a close watch.”

“A whole WEEK?!?! Papi! No!”

“Kashi, if it takes a week, it takes a week.”

“But… CHRISTMAS!”

The doctor looked confused, “Christmas isn’t for more than three weeks Kashi. You’ll be home by then.”

Lance shook his head, “no, he’s upset about missing out on the decorating. It’s his favorite part- putting up the trees and stuff. We help our friends with theirs so it’s kind of a whole thing.”

“Uncle Shiro said it was my turn to do the star this year, and Coran bought a TRAIN that goes IN the tree!” Tears were welling in the little boy’s eyes, “and I’m gonna miss Thanksgiving pizza!”

“Oh, Kashi,” any earlier irritation at him vanished and Lance drew his son into a tender hug. “I know, dumpling, but we need to fix your leg… and if the doctor says that’s how long it will take, then that’s how long it will take. I’ve known Dr. Marichal since I was your age- she’s almost as smart as Pidge.”

“I HATE RAI,” he wailed against Lance’s chest, “this is all his stupid fault- pushing buttons and pickin’at stuff!”

The doctor checked her chart, “says here Kashi’s leg got caught in some kind of machinery?”

“Yes- he and his brother were poking around in Hunk’s workshop and getting into stuff they KNOW they aren’t supposed to touch. So, now the workshops are completely off limits to the kids. Poor Hunk is absolutely distraught.” He sat back on his heels and wiped the tears from Kashi’s face, “and so is RAI. He feels really bad that you got hurt, Kashi. You know he didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“But it DID, and it’s HIS fault! An’now I’m gonna be STUCK HERE when everyone else is doing fun Christmas stuff! Can’t Allura fix it with her glowy magic?”

“Kashi! Allura’s alchemy isn’t a first aid kit- she only uses it to heal in the most dire situations. You have a broken leg. We don’t need to use MAGIC to fix that.” That pout really shouldn’t be nearly as adorable as it was. As frustrated and worried as he was, Lance was struggling not to coo at his youngest- because he just looked soooo much like a tiny, angry Keith at the moment, with his furrowed brow and purple eyes and scowl. He stood, mussing up Kashi’s hair affectionately. “When should we expect the surgery?”

She glanced at the clock, “hmmm… technically it is emergency surgery because it wasn’t scheduled in advance, so he’ll be ranked for urgency and then as soon as possible. I would say it’ll be before the end of the day.”

“Surgery?” Keith asked from the doorway.

“Daddy!” Kashi wailed, sticking his arms out.

Keith rushed over and hugged him gingerly, pressing kisses to the top of his head and rubbing his little back. “I’m right here, kiddo,” he whispered, “Daddy and Papi aren’t going anywhere.”

“Keith, this is Dr. Marichal, she’s an old friend of Rachel’s, she’s in charge of Kashi’s case. Xiomara, this is my husband, Keith,” Lance returned to his seat, knowing that Keith wasn’t leaving Kashi’s side until they wheeled him off for surgery.

Keith extended his hand to shake hers, “it’s nice to meet you Dr. Marichal, you were saying he needs surgery?”

“Femur breaks are pretty serious,” she said with a nod before running through the surgical plan with him again.

“I’m gonna miss ALL the fun stuff,” Kashi sniffled.

“No, you won’t, precious,” Keith promised, “we’ll save lots of fun stuff for when you are home with us.”

“Shiro’s PIZZA… and Coran’s TRAIN…”

“I’ll talk to Shiro and Coran. I promise.” He pulled back and looked Kashi in the eye, “have I ever broken a promise to you?”

“No,” the little boy hiccuped.

“Right. So, I won’t break this one. I will talk to Uncle Shiro and Coran while you are getting your leg fixed up and I will find a way for you to not miss out on all your favorite stuff.”

“You promise?” he asked, hope blooming in his amethyst eyes.

“I PROMISE. Paladin’s honor.”

“Okay,” sniffled Kashi, “thank-you, Daddy.”

Lance smiled, he should have known that Keith would be able to put Kashi’s worries to rest. People were always surprised at just how good Keith was with kids. They assumed that he’d be awkward and standoffish with them the way he was with adults, but he wasn’t at all. Lance had yet to see a child that didn’t immediately take to Keith and he’d never seen a kid that Keith didn’t like.

“You don’t have to thank me, Kashi,” Keith soothed, “can you get those papers signed, Tumbleweed? I’m gonna chill out with our little guy for a bit.”

“Sure thing babe,” Lance answered, “alright Xiomara, where do I sign?”

“If you come with me, I’ll get you all set up with the paperwork,” she said nodding toward the door. He followed her to a little room that had a little table and a few chairs. It reminded him of signing the adoption paperwork for the twins. “I have to ask- ‘Tumbleweed’?”

He laughed, “ah... That… I took him on a romantic ice skating date. I thought it would be like rollerblading. I was wrong. He called me Tumbleweed because I couldn’t stay upright until taught me how to ice skate… then he proposed that day, so it stuck.”

“Well, that is straight out of a Hallmark movie! Very cute. Definitely a keeper,” she said, laughing as she organized all the papers, “Kashi looks a lot like him.”

“Yeah, he’s just a lot like him, in general. Brave, stubborn… blunt,” he laughed, and pulled out his phone, bringing up a picture of all the kids, “Thace looks more like me… or, well… like Rachel, I guess.”

“That’s definitely YOUR smile on that little girl,” she laughed, and passed him the stack. He put the phone away and started scrawling his name on the flagged spots. She smiled at him, “I always get a kick of how much adopted kids end up looking like the people that raise them just because of expressions and mannerisms.”

“Yeah, it’s wild… and it carries over, too. Like, sometimes Rai will open his mouth and I SWEAR he’s channeling Shiro… who raised Keith. Family is…” He shrugged, “it’s a kind of magic, I think.”

“I like that, I might steal it to help reassure parents.” She sat in one of the chairs across from him, “you have a beautiful family, Lance. I’m glad I got to meet some of them- although it could have been under better circumstances.”

“I’m sure you will meet the others in the next couple of days,” he laughed, “we’ve got the whole hospital visitation thing down to an art.”

“So… ummm… Kashi said Veronica carried him? How is she doing?”

He glanced up at her between signatures, “are you sure you want me to answer that?”

“Yes… I mean… I think so… Just.. don’t tell me if it is bad,” she blushed, “I don’t want to know if it isn’t good.”

“Roni is great,” he answered, “she pretty much runs the world- although no one seems to have noticed yet. She’s single right now… but she’s got a couple of on again off again things, so that could change.”

“Good. That’s… good. I’m glad she’s doing well. She deserves it.”

“Want me to tell her you say hi?” he asked, signing the last line and returning the pages to a neat stack.

She gave him a wistful smile as she took the paperwork, “yeah. Yeah, tell her I said hi… and give my love to the family.”

“Will do.”

“You are such a charmer,” Keith whispered, wrapping his arms around Lance. “He’s going to be so excited to see this!”

“You were the one that had the idea AND arranged everything,” Lance chuckled, leaning back against his husband, and resting his hands on top of Keith’s. “All I did was convince the nurses to look the other way about the number of visitors.”

Trudy, one of the nurses, poked her head into the room, “he’s awake. They’ll be bringing him down any minute. Everything looks great.”

“Thanks so much,” Lance said. He could FEEL the worry and tension drain out of Keith’s frame. “Babe- it’s a broken leg. He’s fine.”

“It’s a broken FEMUR and he needed surgery, Lance.”

“He’s five and still growing. He’ll be back to driving everyone bonkers before you know it.” He turned in Keith’s arms, “you are such a worrywart when it comes to the kids. It’s cute.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “this again?”

“Mmhmm… my husband is CUTE.”

“Lannnnnce… quit it.”

“CHECK OUT MY CAST! IT LOOKS LIKE A CANDY CANE!!”

They both laughed as Kashi was wheeled into the room. Sure enough the fiberglass cast that encased his leg was red and white candy-cane striped. Lance had to remind himself to breathe when he saw the metal frame and the screws that disappeared into the fiberglass- even though he’d known they’d be there, even though he knew they weren’t hurting his little boy.

“Very festive,” Keith said with an encouraging nod.

“See, dumpling? I told you that Xiomara was awesome. How are you feeling?”

“My skin feels tickle-y and I’m thirsty,” Kashi answered, “but my leg doesn’t even hurt!”

“Are you up to more visitors?”

“Sure- is Tia Rachel here? She can see her friend!”

“Sorry bud, no Rachel,” Keith answered as Lance ducked out of the room to gather the others.

A few minutes later Shiro, Coran, Thace, Talia, Krolia, Allura, and Romelle came into the room, carrying boxes of assorted sizes. A chagrined Rai and weeping Hunk followed and made a beeline to the little boy, tripping over each other to be the first to apologize. Hunk was barely coherent until Kashi patted his back and assured him that it wasn’t Hunk’s fault and he wasn’t mad.

Rai didn’t even speak- not that he was a particularly talkative child- and Lance suspected he didn’t trust himself not to cry. Rai HATED hospitals, always had, but he had insisted on being here for the entire duration of the surgery. He climbed up onto the bed beside his little brother and gingerly wrapped his arm around him while they both glared at spots on the bed somewhere in the vicinity of their knees.

Silent tears spilled out of Rai’s eyes and he dug his hand into the big pocket in the front of his hoodie, pulling out a sloppily wrapped rectangle and handing it to Kashi. Kashi took the gift and cautiously tore the paper off of it to reveal Rai’s handheld gaming system. “What?”

“Gets boring in hospitals,” Rai muttered, “and they keep saying you’re too little, so you can have mine. S’my fault you’re hurt and stuff.”

“You’re GIVING me this???” Kashi’s eyes were so huge they looked like they’d fall right out of his head.

Rai just nodded, not looking up. “M’sorry.”

“Rai, it was an accident,” Kashi said after a moment. “Wasn’t on purpose.”

“You were so mad,” Rai whispered, “said you hated me.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

Lance had to bite his tongue to keep from chiding Kashi about calling his brother stupid, but he managed. He knew they needed to work this through on their own.

“Your cast looks like a candy cane… can I be the first one to sign it?”

“Sign it?”

“That’s what you do with casts, bud,” Thace said, earning ‘cool big brother points’ as Kashi’s face lit up.

“Really?”

“Definitely,” confirmed Keith.

“I’ll see if the nurses have any markers!” Talia was already out the door before she finished speaking.

“Cooooool! Hey! What’s in all the boxes?”

“Well,” said Shiro, “you always help us make our places ready for Christmas, so this year, it’s our turn to help YOU.”

“We brought you a little tree,” Allura added.

“And ornaments,” said Romelle.

“I found some battery-powered lights for your room, sweetheart,” Krolia added.

“And I thought that you might want to have a train running on the tree-gown-”

“-tree-SKIRT, Coran,” Lance chuckled.

“Yes, of course! I thought you might enjoy having a train running on the tree-SKIRT until you come home,” Coran finished, twirling his moustache.

“I get to decorate my hospital room?” Kashi was floored, he didn’t know where to look, his big eyes darting from person to person. “Really?”

“Really,” Keith confirmed.

“And Tia Pidge will be here soon with a little Thanksgiving pizza for you and I to share,” Shiro said as he ruffled Kashi’s hair, “if you feel up to eating.”

“Best. Day. Ever!” squealed the five year old, the prospect of decorating his hospital room seeming to have completely overpowered the reason that he was in one in the first place.

Talia returned with two fistfuls of colorful markers and started handing them out to people as Allura and Shiro began unpacking the boxes and organizing the contents.

By the time Lance was able to get close enough to his son to sign the cast and give him a hug and kiss, the room was looking very festive. Keith and Shiro were singing carols. Rai was showing Kashi all the best games on his system. Thace and Pidge cutting red and green construction paper into strips that Hunk was stapling into a long chain.

They’d attracted the attention of some of the other kids on the ward and a few of the more mobile and energetic ones had joined in on their fun. Allura had quietly ducked out to visit the kids who weren’t up to it. The Paladins, in general, had a certain amount of fame, even now, but Allura, the Alien Princess, was a bonafide celebrity.

“This was definitely a stroke of genius,” Lance whispered to Keith, “you’ve saved his Christmas.”

“I made a promise,” Keith answered, his voice matter of fact.

“I love you, babe.”

“I love you, too, Tumbleweed.”

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Skam Italia episode 8 reaction

there was a Brand New Scene in this episode and it made some people very happy

Episode 8

Clip 1 - Don’t talk to me

The setting really is gorgeous and the music added some good notes of tension.

Tbh, I think Skam Italia’s visuals are usually quite impressive but I found the camera angles here more distracting and show-offy than aiding the content of the scene. I guess they were trying to make the scene askew to represent that everything was messed up and out of order, but instead I felt detached from the characters during what was a really emotional scene. I really wanted to see all the anguish on Eva’s face and the ambiguity on Martino’s but the camera kept cutting to angles that made it hard to see.

I still think Norwegian Eva is far and away the best actress of the Evas, and I’m gonna be honest, I’m not as sucked into Italian Eva’s acting on a realism/believability level (like this scene did feel like Acting, personally); however, I do still really like her and find her sweet and easy to root for, so I did not enjoy seeing her cry.

Also Martino felt noticeably muted/detached when previously he has felt more energized and easygoing in his scenes with Eva, which I’m sure was because of this crappy situation and his own guilt.

Clip 2 - Caught in a bad romance

Awww, poor Eva has to be in class with Gio and wait until he leaves until she can get up. That’s gotta be the worst.

This song choice kind of fascinates because listening as an English speaker, the lyrics seem more from the POV of the person who’s been wronged over and over by their partner and has reasons to leave, when Eva is currently the one who’s done wrong and is on the opposite side of the situation, and it kinda threw me. But this is not a scene in an English-language show (though plenty of Italians understand English, to be clear) so what seems most important is the melancholy and regretful tone that serves the emotional and visual content of the scene, rather than literal adherence to the lyrics. And obviously you could say that about any soundtrack, including ones where the languages line up. Anyway, not to be trite about this rambling observation, but the various Skams have made me think a lot about the different ways film/TV can use music to enhance a scene (and sometimes how music can be used poorly though I’m not referring to this scene here).

Eleonora coming through that crowd like a beautiful striped high-waisted angel.

That was a necessary hug girls, thanks. The gossip, not so much.

Clip 3 - Eva and her mom

Small thing, but I appreciate that they showed Eva having her period and changing her pad as a casual occurrence, considering that so much media treats periods as nonexistent. I don’t know if Italian media is more frank about this than American media, but I usually only hear periods mentioned if it’s a big plot point. The dramatic first period in a coming of age story, the missed period that signals a pregnancy, etc.

But also, she has to deal with all this and she has her period? To hell with that shit.

And the graffiti was there just to ruin even the most mundane, private moment. She can’t escape.

Speaking of music in the previous scene, I liked how quiet this scene was. Sometimes I prefer the absence of music to its presence.

Well, Eva is right, she was not the initial attacker and she didn’t fight back. She shouldn’t be getting blame for it because even if the cheating was motivation, Alice chose to smack her.

Hmmm, how distant is the mom according to Italian cultural norms? She brings her daughter cake in the morning and we’ve seen her invite Eva to do things with her (I think the movies and the market? Something like that). I get there’s some distance but it’s not like Eva doesn’t have a role in this, like I’ve seen Eva scrolling through the phone at the dinner table while the parents are there. Seems like everyone in this family is doing their part to shut each other out.

I’m glad the mom tries not to let Eva shut her out although I guess it didn’t work for very long.

Clip 4 - Eva and Eleonora, Ed Edd and Eddy

Silvia nooooooo stop thinking about Edoardo all the time even if you’re trying to make him regret the way he treated you. That’s hardly better than thirsting over him.

Lol, Eva, it’ll help if you can go somewhere where Giovanni isn’t in your direct line of sight and you can brood in peace.

Eleonora is giving it all with her singing, like she is going to get Eva to smile no matter what. When Edoardo shows up she seems rather bashful.

We saw one of Eleonora’s manipulation techniques earlier this season when she rescued Eva from the overeager theater kids.

Plot twist: Eleonora is a spy posing as a new student, hence her knowledge of manipulation. What is her mission? Infiltrating Eva’s heart.

Clip 5 - My fault

This is one of my favorite scenes in the original show from S1, so they had a high bar to meet. I think I didn’t respond to it as strongly in large part because I don’t care for Giovanni much, and I don’t root for him and Eva together at all, so my reaction is mostly feeling bad for Eva and feeling fine about the breakup if not the way it came about. But it was another nicely shot scene.

Giovanni definitely has a hand in creating this situation. Obviously he didn’t like, push Eva’s lips to Federico’s and make that happen, that’s on her. But when he talks about the irony of her thinking he was cheating when it was her who did … he DID make her paranoid by lying to her.

“If you had told me the truth this would have never happened” - I mean, she’s right? She needs to take responsibility for her actions (which she did) but he’s got to realize he fueled the situation that caused this. (Though I mean, you could say this of all the Jonases, not just these two.)

Giovanni’s whisper acting was getting on my nerves, I know he was supposed to be upset, but it came across as unsettling, which was likely not the intent at all.

“The problem is not that you kissed some guy …. the problem is who you kissed.” Ummmm well, it’s nice that Giovanni acknowledges that these guys are assholes who treat women like crap. That’s good. I’m calling bullshit on the whole “I don’t care that you kissed a guy out of anger, I care that you kissed an asshole” thing. Lol, if Eva kissed Martino because she was mad at Gio, I’m sure Gio would have a problem with it.

But I don’t know what to think about this dialogue change. What does it mean for Eva’s character arc? Jonas pointed out an issue with Eva’s personality that, agree or disagree with him, was an issue with her. He didn’t understand her because he thought she was changing her personality and not thinking for herself, and yes, some of that is Jonas’ perception of her, but we did see her be insecure and rely other’s opinions, and her ultimate conclusion in the season was to find out who she was on her own. It’s also a devastating thing for him to say to her because it’s so personal. What Gio is saying seems more like his problem. She’s doing stuff he doesn’t like, going to parties for people he doesn’t like, he’s got insecurities about it. And he doesn’t know who she is anymore, but ... going to the parties of asshole dudes is not inherently a character flaw for her? She’s mostly doing it for her new friends, anyway, and you might say that’s the flaw, being a people-pleaser, but I don’t know if that’s the intent. Not to mention that Gio himself has been an asshole, and some of the people he hangs out with are assholes, so ... shut up, Gio.

There’s some questioning of who she is toward the end of this scene but it feels like it’s being framed by which guy she wants to be with. I can think of a few ways they could redirect this arc - Eva saying fuck off Gio, don’t judge me for what I’m doing? Eva realizing she doesn’t like all these parties with the asshole Villa dudes? It just feels a lot less personal. I guess it’ll be easier to judge when the whole season is out, to see what point they’re ultimately going to make with her.

It also doesn’t help that we haven’t gotten the reveal scene of Eva’s past with Laura, which was in Skam prior to this scene, so we’re missing a crucial part of her characterization that explained why Jonas felt this way about Eva not having her own opinions.

Clip 6 - Edoardo (!) gives Eva (!!) a ride to school (!!!)

A totally new scene? With two characters who never interacted in the original? What madness?

Sooo let’s break this down.

this was a helpful act of random kindness from Edoardo

also nice that he made polite small talk with Eva about her test

then he drops the line about how he really saved her by offering her a ride and that’s either him responding generally or him making sure she knows that he’s doing her a massive favor and she probably owes him

which becomes evident when he asks for her friend’s name and number

which she realizes and asks whether he’ll kick her out of the car if she doesn’t give him Eleonora’s number

he doesn’t reply as if this is an absurd suggestion and he would never do that, but he also puts down his phone and doesn’t kick her out of the car

because he says he’ll find Eleonora on IG anyway

he gets her to school on time and she thanks him

I was not nearly as excited for this scene as like Eleonora/Edoardo shippers, but it was at least a change of pace, and I appreciate getting new material no matter what. Personally when I saw what this scene was going to be, I was way way way more intrigued by the prospect of seeing the William character interact one on one with anyone besides the Noora character, than the shipper material. Did we ever see him have a conversation with anyone from the girl squad except for when he’s telling Vilde she’s not worth it? Someone from the boy squad? Not even Penetrator Chris, for the most part. Oh, I guess there was the time he broke up the P-Chris/Jonas fight but he didn’t exactly talk to them except telling P-Chris he done fucked up. Every other time I can think of, it’s William in the company of Noora. And this is pretty vital because, while Edoardo is still an asshole, if you want to redeem the asshole, it’s necessary to show him being a non-asshole and doing nice stuff for people that he doesn’t want to fuck. Even if it’s still about who he wants to fuck.

So of course the question is, would he have bothered to pick up Eva if she did not have an attractive friend he wanted to pursue? They could have added little bit more non-Eleonora related small talk just to make him seem less manipulative, but I guess that was the point. He still needs to be shady at this stage.

He and Eleonora will bond over studying the same manipulation techniques.

I’m not going to say he’s a great guy based on this scene, because yeah, he had an ulterior motive in mind, but at least they gave me something to work with toward seeing how he interacts with other characters rather than other characters just telling me he’s a great guy, so another small point toward Skam Italia.

I don’t speak Italian so if I misunderstood some context, feel free to correct me.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamit reactions #skam italia reactions

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dxrkblaze · 6 years

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Give ME ALL FOR THAT MEME BC IM A HO N I LOVE UR WIRITNG U FUCK

this just in: ru is gay and I love her HHDGSHHDDL THAnk u sm homie I cri,,, ❤️❤️

1) of the fic you’ve written, which are you most proud of?Hmm… probably all my colors? Like, there’s a lot I’d like to go back and change, but at the end of the day it was my baby for a good two plus years and there’s a lot of personal stuff sprinkled in there. It kinda shows my emotional progression throughout high school in the story, and while that’s def not why I wrote it, it’s cool to go back and look at it sometimes to see the things I used to say/think about. Plus it’s one of the only massive projects of mine that I’ve actually completed, lol.

Also I have a lot of love for amc just bc it’s so… different, I guess? Like, I’ve never really seen something like it fleshed out into a full-length story, especially not with silver and blaze. And the fact that it rlly touched several ppl and got them rlly into it… that makes me feel kinda accomplished when I’m not being a self-deprecating prick lmao. I rlly rlly wanted it to be my first fic to get to 100 reviews for a reason!

2) favorite tense (past/present/future)Definitely past, I tried present with the unforgiven and it just made it frustrating to write, lmao.

3) favorite POV (first/second/third/etc)I prefer writing in first person, actually. I think it simplifies things for both the writer and reader, and I’ve always found a lot more freedom to be creative when I write in first person.

4) what are some themes you love writing about?Lmao well, obviously romance is priority one for me, so most of my themes stem from that. I rlly love writing about class struggle tho, whether it’s someone low who’s aiming high or a noble who isn’t satisfied with such a high class. Morality also comes up a lot in my writing, I guess; tryna figure out what the right thing to do is, tryna figure out if this character actually did the best thing, all that good stuff!

5) what inspires you to write?Definitely music… sometimes I’ll stray from it and pick up some inspo from movies/stories/etc, but 99% of the time I’ll be listening to a song and suddenly come up w a fic idea from it lmao.

6) thoughts on critiqueI encourage it!! bc I think it’s the only real way to improve. Sometimes it can make me feel bad if I’m in one of those rlly shitty self-deprecation ruts, but still I usually get over it soon even when I’m like that. I know it’s for the better, and I appreciate everyone who’s ever been kind enough, and cared enough abt my writing to give me critique!

7) create a character on the spot…. NOW!UMMMM OKIE,,, what abt a snow leopard named Kyra… she likes to sit around n read n eat noodles… her main hobby other than reading is dancing. she’s v shy but she loves her close friends n BAM I just made her gay. She’s a lesbian, harold.

8) is there a character you love writing for the most? the least? why?Most - probably silver… his personality is always one I’ve gotten a lot of joy out of writing. He’s basically a walking contradiction, lmfao. He’s also pretty easy for me to self-project onto, idk why. Least - I’m gonna say amy for this one, just because it’s been hard for me to focus on more than one aspect of her personality and flesh all of it out. Plus amy is a somewhat overused character lol, I get a lot more fun out of writing blaze/tikal/others when I need a female role, even if it’s something simple

9) a passage from a WIPOh u kno I gotta dip into royalty au for this one 👀

–

It was nearly a fortnight before any word was received from King Pyrus. It came in the form of a small parcel addressed to Blaze, which held a note inside for her. The young princess jumped at the feet of the servant who had brought it in, and once it was lowered into her hands, she hurried to her chamber. Once there, she closed the door behind her and jumped on her bed, unable to contain her excitement. With a careful claw and an eager expression, she tore the parcel’s paper away. Before looking at what it contained, she snatched the note from her father, and brought it to her face. It read:

My Little Flame,

I am sorry I could not write to you sooner. I remain busy, but I finally began exploring, and I found something I think you will simply adore. It is a traditional robe (I believe it is called a kimono) from here in the Eastern Isles. It is just as beautiful as the land, and just as special as you are to I, my dear. We must make plans to bring you here one day, it astounds me each time.

Do not fret about the ongoings in the world, how ever much you have heard. Kiniti watches over us at all times, and she will ensure peace among all kinetics. Hopefully, I will depart in the coming few days, and we will see one another soon.

With love,Father Flame

Blaze, of course, merely skimmed over the second half of the note as a formality. She laid the message aside, and her jaw dropped once she held the kimono out. It was a beautiful shade of dark purple, with an equally enchanting design. Trails of dainty cherry blossoms sat on rugged branches, which climbed up either side of the robe. The silk seemed to melt between Blaze’s fingers; it was the softest material she had ever felt. She rubbed one of the sleeves against her cheek, and purred into it. When she turned the robe over, she gasped. A large, pink bow was already tied at the back, as if it had been made just for her. She slipped the kimono over her shoulders, and although the sleeves hung low over her arms, the length was just right. Blaze tied the pieces of ribbon at her waist, just as Pyrus had taught her, and words could never express how delighted she was with the gift. She could not wait to show her father once he returned.

As Blaze was fitting her tail through the bow on her back, Baxton entered the room. Whenever Pyrus was absent, it was usually Baxton who took up the king’s general duties. He signed letters, addressed the people, attended court; it kept him quite busy. The only responsibility he didn’t inherit was any control of he army - the sole post he would be familiar with. Quite the chore it was, but Baxton was always fond of his temporary sovereign role. At least in terms of the power he held, that is. In fact, Blaze assumed that he had been yelling at some servants not too long ago, judging by his flushed face.

The elder cat scratched his head. “Princess, did the king leave a letter?”

Blaze pointed to the note on her bed. Baxton scurried to it, and frowned as he glanced over the elegant handwriting. “Is this it?” he quizzed.

The princess nodded, and held her arms out with a smile. “Look, Baxi! Look at what father sent me!”

Blaze couldn’t quite tell what Baxton’s expression conveyed, but it was something between a smile and a scowl. The note crumpled in a quick motion from Baxton’s fist, and was thrown back onto the bed cover. Blaze didn’t think much of this as Baxton hurried out, and she walked to her mirror to admire the kimono again.

–

10) what are your strengths wrt writing?Hmm… I get a lot of ppl saying that I’m pretty eloquent when it comes to phrasing/word choices? I’m constantly tinkering with how things are said, even up until like 30 seconds before I publish smth lmao. I also like to think I never just string sentences together and leave it at that when I’m narrating, I pay a lot of attention to how different sentences/phrases flow together.

11) what are your weaknesses wrt writing?My main weakness would probably be going overboard on all the little things, like how a sentence sounds or flows and stuff like that. I end up being a perfectionist with it, and sometimes when I’m crafting/changing phrases around, I end up with a sentence that kinda drags on or tries to do too much.

12) what’s your favorite place for writing resources?Tumblr’s pretty good for me, actually. I rarely ever seek out resources, but I do reblog a lot of them that come to me here and they’ve been very useful to me in the past.

13) who are your favorite writers?Ok first off binch u@aurora-boring-alis (FF: aurora-boring-alis) Then my other peeps who also make the quality goodness™™ I can’t get enough of (some fanfic accounts more active than others)@maliwarm (FF: biteworsethanbark) @lordoftheghostking28 (FF: lordoftheghostking28) @weezernaut (FF: space mercutio)@ebachan (wattpad: witto150)

#asks

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sitkowskiryan · 6 years

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wow i’m upset

but when has that ever changed?

so i write a story one ao3 and fanfiction.net called tipping the scale, and it is a harry potter/rabastan lestrange story that i work really hard on, but as you guys know i am shit at updating. so i first updated like two months ago, which was when i figured out that writing is what helped my anxiety like this story had only a thousand words typed of the third chapter and i busted out like 9k in six hours and i had been so pumped because i actually liked writing and i did not feel like i was being forced to do it.

and the responses help, ( which is why i am kind of bummed about kinktober because i update, but get no feedback ) because everyone was excited for the update and whatever. so i write another chapter in the month that i had not updated, finishing it sunday as a christmas present for my readers and i was happy with it because i finally got it to where it needed to be, even though it felt a bit rushed.

but the response this time bummed me out.

within two hours someone was already asking when i was updating again, despite me just posting an 11k chapter. like i understand you are excited for updates and whatever, but it is fucking insane that you could mention me updating when i just did. i might seem like an asshole, but put yourself into my shoes, you bust your ass for a chapter and people AUTOMATICALLY want another and you are like “ummmm”

but what truly made me upset was this comment that this user on ff.net left me. they read the first chapter, the prologue of the story, and said that it was a bad start and then the second chapter commented that it was a very unrealistic story. it seems like i am just one of those pretentious writers who can’t handle hate, but i honestly can’t. i look to others for approval and for someone to tell me that my FANFICTION is unrealistic really hurts.

any way no one will probably read this so it is just once more me talking to get it out, but this is something that i feel i cannot really let go like i can with my other posts. my writing is my pride and when people do not give me feedback or give negative feedback, it makes me not want to write anymore...

thanks for reading if anyone did

- courtney xoxo

#updates #harry potter fanfiction #rant #writer struggles #harry potter/rabastan lestrange

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fantasysuiteleague · 7 years

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Finale Recap: Oh...Canada...

I can’t say I was all that excited for this finale. Part of this may be due to my 3 week absence, but I think most of it is due to Nick’s limp dick, tears, and inability to think of anyone but himself. Now, I know what you’re thinking: Hey! Nick doesn’t have a limp dick! Raven said he’s “good at what he does.” But don’t let that gross and overstaged post-coitus montage fool you: no man who dresses like this can give a woman an orgasm.

It quickly became apparent that I wasn’t the only one struggling to get hype for Nick’s finale. For example, Chris Harrison spent an equal amount of time mentioning Rachel and the “historic moment” later to come on ATFR as he did Nick’s “desperate search for love.” When Harrison asked the audience who Nick would end up with, the option of “no one” got the biggest round of applause. But why? Well, first of all, both of these women can do and deserve much better than a whiny man-child with no job. Additionally, even though it’s really gross because it happens so often, people enjoy watching Nick cry. Except his parents....

They are equally as desperate for him to find someone, or just join Match.com, and Bella just wants to go back to middle school. Unfortunately for all parties involved--including Bachelor Nation--Nick signed a contract and has to drag this thing out until the very end (or until we get so bored that they just start the next season of The Bachelorette during the finale).

Family Time

To ease his emotionally exhausted parents into the last week of Nick’s journey, the producers have the “safe/easy choice” come in to meet them first. In addition to Raven having already kind of met Nick’s parents at Bella’ soccer game, she’s the girl who would blindly and willingly accept a proposal from a man wearing a Livestrong band, no matter how embarrassing his lisp was. She’s meant to reassure his parents that at least one girl is interested in being their son’s wife. Raven is as charming as we expected, and the editors did a great job of reinforcing the overarching theme of Raven being the “no brainer” choice. Nick’s mom is still guarded, however, explaining that she has a certain emptiness in her heart (aka shame) due to all the devastation Nick has suffered at the hands of ABC. Nick’s dad, a sleepy garden gnome, seems more optimistic because Nick (unlike his dad) is finally in control “so maybe he won’t get slapped down.”

*Enter Vanessa* Per the editing, Vanessa comes in HOT, telling his mom that she’s not 100% sure she wants to get engaged to Nick and making his dad cry. His parents are understandably incredibly concerned that Vanessa is the same type of girl he always goes for (a brunette alpha), and seeing as it’s never EVER worked out before, this is probably going to end in heartache once again. Seeing as Nick, much like his dad, is clearly a beta, I don’t think his pairing with an alpha female is necessarily a bad thing. His parents make it work--hell, even my parents make it work (sorry mom, but everyone knows you’re the boss, not Ralph). The problem with Nick, however, is that he weaseled his way onto a franchise that consistently recruits women who are just flat out out of his league. He’s not good-looking enough, he has no job, he’s SO insecure, he can’t stop crying, he has a lisp, he wears turtlenecks...you get the point. So it makes sense for his parents to be worried that whatever hot alpha female he chooses is probably not going to stay with him...because she won’t.

Last Dates

Nick’s final date with Vanessa is wack AF. First of all, the last person I want to meet while on a date with my potential future fiance is Finland Santa Claus. Not only that, but I certainly would NOT be interested in hanging out with this man in a small candle-lit shack. Mall Santas in the US already depress me because they’re just lonely fat men. But “real” Santa speaking Finnish and living in a shack with no electricity is some next-level shit. Hard. Pass. After escaping Santa’s rape shack, Nick and Vanessa spend the remainder of the date crying into each others arms. Vanessa wants some reassurance from Nick, but he won’t give it to her because that’s not how this show works. Vanessa’s hesitance is understandable, but also this is a fucking fantasy. Do your homework and watch a full season so you know what you’re doing before you come on and make demands of a man with no dick.

Sticking with the theme of “light and easy,” Raven’s date consists of yet another opportunity for Nick to show of his skating abilities without much substance. Nothing serious is discussed and there’s not much of a takeaway other than “Raven will say yes.” I personally would have preferred more on-camera time for the puppies in lieu of their fireside chat. While the absence of any serious conversation is meant to suggest things are easy with Raven, to me it comes off more as both parties knowing they aren’t going to end up with one another. If you’re supposed to be getting engaged THE NEXT DAY, wouldn’t you want to talk about where you’re going to live, your friends and family, and all that important life shit that exists outside this fantasy world? Obviously the answer is yes, which is why it seems clear to me that they’re just going through the motions at this point. Then again, aren’t we all?

The Proposal

By the time Neil Lane makes his standard cameo I’m barely paying attention. Nick looks at some gaudy rings that you would only accept if you were getting it for free, eventually picking the biggest one because who cares, he’s not paying for it. There’s something very gross and fake about a man picking out an engagement ring on the day he actually proposes. Then again, he also picked his fiance on the day he proposed. To no one’s surprise, Raven is the first out of the limo and the one to get dumped. But not before Nick let’s her give one last speech about how she loves him and is ready to be his pretend wife. Nick shockingly starts to cry as he gives the standard “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you” breakup line. I don’t buy that Raven’s stoic face was due to shock, as she claimed on ATFR. If you’re Raven you’re thinking “phew, I made it to the top 2 and got to travel around the world, I’ll be on Paradise, and MOST IMPORTANTLY...I’m not stuck being engaged to Nick Viall.”

She’s the real winner in this story. And if the lack of gaudy ring on her finger doesn’t prove it, her response of “I know you will” to Nick’s pathetic claim that he’ll miss her seals the deal. Even though she walked away the winner, she still deserved a coat to wear back to the limo. Even though the show tried really hard to make it seem like Vanessa may not accept his proposal and make this whole episode more dramatic than it really was, I don’t think anyone was convinced. As soon as Vanessa walked into the room Nick broke down and launched into a speech about how he had been falling in love with her since the beginning but was scared she didn’t feel the same (despite her repeatedly telling him she did). For all the huffing and puffing Vanessa had done about not necessarily wanting to get engaged, she immediately said yes to Nick’s proposal, disappointing everyone but Nick’s parents. Hooray for “love.”

After the Final Rose

Okay first of all, I have a very hard time understanding why anyone would want to dress up and go to a 3+ hour live watch party of the Bachelor. Some of those women were decked out. Like, watch with your friends in sweatpants? Anyway, the best part of the ATFR was how fucking incredible Raven looked. She had that glow of someone who dodged a Nick Viall bullet and I couldn’t be happier for her and all the kissing/fingering she’s going to do on Paradise this summer. The second best part of ATFR was how MISERABLE Vanessa looked.

That is NOT the face of a woman excited to be engaged. In fact, it’s not even clear if Vanessa knows what it means to be engaged. When Chris Harrison asked if they were going to get married, Vanessa said “we’re taking baby steps.” Ummmm there’s no such thing as “baby steps” on The Bachelor. Also, what do you call the last few months? If anything, that response just confirms that there is no way she is going to marry this walking box of kleenex. And if that answer didn’t convince you, then surely the words used to describe their relationship such as “struggles” and “ never easy” and “I’m a realist” underscores that this “relationship” will last just as long as Nick will on DWTS. The entire interview is so uncomfortable and so clearly filled with tension that ABC had already planned in advance to use the last third of the program to focus on the first ever Blachelorette. Rachel, sporting a new expensive set of extensions, is brought out and *surprised* by being given the opportunity to meet a few of the guys from her season. This “historic” moment that Chris Harrison kept chirping about all night was almost as uncomfortable as Vanessa and Nick’s interview. All in all, the entire finale fell flatter than Nick’s limp dick because no matter how hard he or ABC tries, it’s nearly impossible to find someone willing to marry this manboy.

#The Bachelor #bachelorabc #nick viall #chris harrison #bachelor nation #bachelor recap #fantasysuiteleague #lol

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srtringbean · 7 years

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First Love

Pairing: Namjoon x reader Genre: angst, romance, smut later on, angst Warnings: nothing yet Word count: 3731 Summary: “Don’t fall in love with someone like me… you’ll just be disappointed and leave…”

Part 1 Part 2

Since you moved to Korea about a year ago things have been rather different for you. For starters, because you were a filmmaker Big Hit noticed your work inspired by BTS and so they contacted you for an interview to work for them. I know exciting right? Well you ended up taking the offer and loved it. About a month in you met the boys and boy you nearly melted into a puddle that day but they were very welcoming. It’s been over half a year now working for the company so making friends wasn’t as bad as you thought. The unnies would help you in your korean since you weren’t exactly native speaker fluent but you were fluent enough. It was even better when Namjoon actually spoke to you in english here and there. He was trying to make you feel more comfortable since you started working there so you two became close friends.

It was around the time that their comeback was approaching making it very stressful and busy for them. Filming for the music video, getting the set ready, having to edit, etc. man it was a load on you. “Oh, y/n do you think it’s possible to redo those two scenes this week and have editing finished by Monday?” Your sunbaenim asked knowing you were going to start editing today and thank the gods he asked today and not when you were halfway done. “Ummmm yeah I think I can but i’ll have to stay here all week since it’s a lot of editing to do and filming again.” In all honesty you weren’t very thrilled to stay and do overtime but you got paid more and had no plans either way so you took the offer. “Are you sure it’s not too much to ask? I know you’re one of our best editors and directors but don’t over do it.” Everyone in the company knew how hard you worked within the six months of being there just to go from editing to executive director and the head of the editing department but your sunbaenims were concerned about you since you were also the youngest there being only 20. “Yeah it’s okay i’ll just go home and pack some stuff to stay over the night.” giving him a smile to reassure him he nodded and smiled back leaving the room.

The walk home wasn’t far from the studio though the cold air freezing your body up made it feel far. You approach the building to greet the man letting you in. “Ah y/n there was someone looking for you earlier.” he was the cutest ahjussi ever and he treated you so kindly you being a foreigner. “Really? Who?” “It was a tall handsome young man with blond hair? Pink hair? You kids and your crazy hair colors.” you couldn’t help but chuckle at his remark. It was Namjoon he was talking about so you head to the elevator and press the number 4 button. Namjoon was basically the only best friend you had since moving and he made you feel very comfortable to be around. He wasn’t just an idol in your eyes unlike how most fans viewed him that way. Yeah you liked BTS a lot before working with them but even then you only saw them as human beings who happened to make really catchy music. When meeting them for the first time yeah you literally cried because they’re a group who holds a lot of meaning to your heart. “Oh sunbae what are you doing here?” It was hard to recognize him wearing all black (almost everything he wears really) face covered with a mask and wearing sunglasses but his pinkish blond hair was all you needed to know it was him. “Yahhh y/n you don’t need to be so formal just call me namjoon.” Giggling at his request you did it on purpose sometimes knowing it bothered him so you spoke up, “ Okay Namjoon what are you doing here?” “Oh yeah uhh the boys got you this…” He pulled out small bag with a light blue bow on it. “What’s this for?” curious what was in he gave it to you and before opening it he cleared his throat. “Well we know you’ve been working hard and we wanted to thank you for all the hard work and sleepless nights you’ve had for dealing with us… and uhh yeah open it.” There was excitement in his eyes when you opened the bag as if he was a child getting ice cream and you thought it was cute. “Oh my god….” It was a group photo you being the center of it. It was taken on your first day on the job and you had a bad start messing up but in the end there was a picnic with the boys cheering you up. It was as if it happened yesterday making you smile. “Do you like it? Oh god you don’t like it. I told them it would be stupid i’m s-” “I love it… thank you.” tears started to form in your eyes and out of pure instinct you hugged him tightly and let out a soft cry. As shocked as Namjoon was he returned the hug and man did his heart flutter. “I also got you something too..” He pulled out of the hug not wanting to but had to. “Wait what you did?” As you opened it there was a piece of paper folded nicely and then a locket. Opening it, it was a picture of when you guys visited home in LA recently looking at the other half was a selca of him making you laugh a little. You missed home... “Yah~ why did you put yourself on the other half?” It was funny but very adorable. “Well your best friend is always here for you.” He said with the biggest smile. There it was the smile that won everyone over. The dimples the were the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. “Well i’m glad that I have this to remind myself who my best friend is. Do you want to come in I made some hot coco earlier.” “You sure aren’t you busy? I don’t want to interupt your day.” “Yes I don’t have to go back until like 3 and it’s 1:30.” He came over many times that everyone asked if you were dating but you said no and brushed it off. Of course he was handsome and very good looking yet also a sweetheart who was actually an amazing person that you wished people knew about him like you did but- no no no you didn’t like him stop. “Sorry I didn’t have time to clean up the mess.” Looking at the mess you were too lazy to pick up for the past what two weeks now? Gross you thought to yourself. “If you’ve seen the dorm then this is nothing compared to that. Plus I’ve been here so many times it doesn’t matter.” Well… he is right.

Watching her heat up the hot cocoa he made his way to her living room and noticed her bookshelf stocked with film books and movies. He loved watching her geek out over blockbuster films or when you would show him the difference in lens or shots and loved it most when you showed him projects you were working on. The work you made was beautiful with the stories you tell making viewers being moved. Looking up and down he saw a photo laying there with y/n and another man who looked a hell of a lot older than her. “Y/n?” You hummed in response while stirring the drink. “Who’s this?” holding up the photo you looked up and immediately froze. God why did you keep that picture? Bringing back awful memories making you feel emptiness you walk over grab the picture and burn it. Taking a deep breath you feel your hand shaking but try to keep calm. “He’s nobody…. Do you want some cake too?” trying not to crack. “Are you okay?” noticing your change in expressions “Did I do som-” “It’s fine Joon…. It’s just nothing…” “Are you sure you’re okay?” Just breath y/n just breath…. “Just…. Just drop it okay? I’ll tell you some other time Joon.” He was concerned but knew not to push any further so he didn’t say anything else. Namjoon knew how difficult it was for you to express your feelings to anyone really but he noticed your efforts in trying to loosen up. He wanted to know more though and just wanted you to trust him, not that you didn’t but obviously there was more to know but your walls were too high up and too thick to break down due to your stubbornness. After eating something he helps pack some clothes and anything else you might need to finish your work. “Hey i’m going to take a quick shower do you mind picking up a little?” “Yeah sure.” “DON’T break my stuff okay?” “What I would never do such a thing! Now go take a shower stinky butt.” Yes it seems odd that he would stay while you shower but you reached that comfort level of friendship with him when you first invited him over. You kind of wish you had a picture of his reaction because it was priceless. After showering you picked out your daily comfortable style that everyone loved not knowing why. It was literally the same thing you were probably the girl version of Jungkook with his white shirts jeans and timberlands. Picking out a black shirt that was lose and a pair of jeans that were high enough to cover your not so toned sides and picking out your favorite long black cardigan that the boys got you since you literally loved cardigans. Especially the long ones. Walking out you saw Namjoon on the couch reading who knows what. “Hey let’s go.” clearing your throat loud enough for him to hear. “Oh okay.” As you guys arrive the other members seemed to be showing up as well. “Y/n!!!” Taehyung ran and picked you up to hug you and embarrassed you pat his back while spinning you. “Yah! Put me down you know I hate being carried.” You did… You really hated it thinking you weighed too much for them so you ended up dropping weight though you still hated being picked up. “But you’re so light!” he said pouting “Anyways… how’ve you been? Why do you have another backpack?” “Oh i’m staying the night here to finish your video and this week we have to reshoot two scenes.” “Yahh paboya Isn’t that too much work since our comeback is next week?” Yoongi was another good friend of yours since he understood you 100% emotionally. “It’s okay sunbae I can get it done if I focus and not get distracted that’s why i’m staying here for four days.” “Aw we wanted to go bowling Saturday but you’re working…” Jungkook was only two years older than you making you the maknae of the group. It boosted his ego tenfold really and you didn’t know why. “We can go some other time oppa.” Also did I mention he loved it when you called him oppa? He loved it knowing that he actually was older than you unlike fans older than him would call him that and he hated it. You on the other hand found it hilarious. “Yah she’s busy with work jungkook-a we shouldn’t even be going out since we have our comeback next week.” Jin and yoongi both scolded the younger one but you couldn’t help but smile. “Yahhh it’s okay to go out without me and plus you should go out and have fun and relax you’ll be busy next week and for the next month and a half or so. It’s okay.” “Are you sure? We’re concerned about you overworking yourself.” Jimin was always concerned about you over doing it with work. “Listen short stuff i’m fine okay i’ll be fine once I finish this i’ll rest okay I promise.” The boys couldn’t help but laugh at you calling jimin short even though he was taller than you slightly. “Yah! I’m taller than you and older!!!” “Yeeees sunbaenim~~!!” As you walked into the building before he would start scolding you. Namjoon stayed in the front talking to boys forgetting he had your stuff. The guys started to head inside for practice before yoongi pulled him to the side. “Hey is y/n okay? She looks exhausted lately and thinner too. I don’t think she’s taking care of herself.” If anyone knew you it was Yoongi and Namjoon. They both worry you being the youngest taking in so much work and them also knowing what it feels like going through their own personal matters. “I don’t know hyung… today she seemed off..” thinking about the picture he saw earlier today. “Why what happened?” Lately yoongi noticed you staying later than usual working on projects that didn’t need to be done until another month. It certainly wasn’t invisible to the naked eye on how tired you looked for the past month and a half but every time a member insisted for you to rest, you’d ignore them and continue to work. It’s been getting worse and out of hand. “There was a picture of her and what I assume her ex and when I asked her she became upset and burned it saying he was a nobody.” “Namjoon... “ putting his hand on his shoulders to help him relax, “ Everyone knows you see her differently, I mean you make it pretty damn obvious and she is either really slow in catching on or she’s afraid to let someone in. She trusts you well us enough but she also shows you her trust towards you differently than towards me. There is obviously something holding her back but her overdoing it with work won’t help her and I know for a fact it’s to distract herself. Even PDnim noticed and is starting to get concerned. She trusts you more since one you’re the only fluent english speaker making her feel somewhat more relaxed. Try to talk to her.” Taking in a deep breath he knew his hyung was right but it wasn’t easy talking to you being so damn stubborn. “Hyung trust me I’ve tried, she’s the most stubborn person i’ve ever met. Way more stubborn than you are and that says a lot but I’ve tried, I really really really have tried. I’m scared she’ll hurt herself.” He sure as hell wasn’t lying about that because every time someone got passed a stubborn wall, good luck getting through the next 50. “Yah it’s okay we’ll talk more about this some other time okay?” Yoongi patted Namjoon back to walk in the building.

You were so focused on you work that you hadn’t realized Namjoon still had your stuff until he walked in. “Oh you had my stuff. Sorry i was working I forgot about it.” “Do you need anything? Food? Anything?” “No i’m okay i’ll call you or yoongi sunbae if i do.” you smiled before you went back to work. He left the room and went to the practice room and the rest of the day was just work.

After a long night the boys left back to their places and Namjoon told the boys he would stay to check up on you. He knocked on the door before entering only to find you sleeping. You looked so peaceful and even though there was some drool he couldn’t help but let out a slight laugh. “Man you really need to let yourself rest.” There was a box of tissues across the table so he grabbed a few to clean you up causing you to move slightly making him become cautious trying not to wake you up but he failed when trying to put a blanket over you. “Hmmm….Joon?” your voice was scratchy and your eyes were squinted trying to figure out what was going on. “Oh sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up. Are you okay?” “Mmm I’m okay just tired….. What time is it?” “It’s almost 11 why?” Rubbing your eyes you take a big sigh and get up leaving him looking at you confused. It’s been about 8 hours of working but technically 5 since you fell asleep. “Let’s go to the convenient store I’m hungry.” Half awake and half asleep walking out with your bag. You didn’t even care how you looked with your messy hair and squinted eyes. “I can order take out if you want? And go to a cafe and get you coffee.” Watching you always eat ramen noodles when working annoyed him and everytime he offered you always said, “No it’s okay joon, it’s close by so I don’t have to walk that far.” There it was, the same sentence making him feel bad. Before he knew it you were already outside going towards the elevator so he caught up. Nope he wasn’t letting you eat another sad bowl of ramen again so he pulled you the opposite way to who knows where. “Yah~ what are you doing the store is that way.” Still trying to wake up but not trying to get out of his grip you being too tired. “Y/n you need to eat a real meal okay not cheap ramen.” Without arguing you let him drag you around. “Ajumma can we have a spicy bulgogi with the dumpling stew!” “Ahhhh Namjoon Ah!! Yes coming right up!” This was your and Namjoon’s favorite place to eat on your days off. After waiting for a while the food came out and it smelled so good you were kind of glad he dragged you here. It took a while for you to convince the ajumah and namjoon that you could eat spicy food and they doubted you but you told them that you were mexican and when they gave you the “spiciest” they had boy were they dumbfounded after you finished barely breaking a sweat. You were sniffling but you weren't dying that you needed milk. You may be a foreigner but you could do spicy food all day every day.

After the meal you thanked the ajumma again. It was already 1:30 into the day and you had to get to work but nope he decided to drag you some more. “Joon i have work to do now isn’t the time~” whining hoping he would comply but didn’t. “Come on y/n you need a break you can go back after the sun rises. Please come on we haven’t hung out in forever since we’ve been busy with work~ pleeeeeease.” “OKAY OKAY OKAY FINE just…. Please stop whining please.” You said burrowing your face into your hand. This boy just didn’t know how to give up didn’t he. Both of you sitting down on a bench looking at the view you couldn’t help but rest your head on his shoulder. He was warm and it felt comfortable you wish- No y/n no stop he’s just a friend. “Hey y/n… can I ask you something?” You looked up at him with a slight smile. “You technically already did.” “You know what I mean.” “Yeah what’s up?” Curious to what the boy had to say you sat up and faced him. “Do you believe in love?” You didn’t expect for such a bold question making you freeze. It was a tough and soft subject for you to talk about and you thought you should tell him how you felt. It was only fair to him. “S-sorry i shouln-” “I do…” looking forward at the river. He seemed shocked that you responded since you normally pushed the subject away. It felt unfair that you had to keep a secret from him because of your fears. So little by little you started to let him in to see if he was worthy of your trust. “I believe in what I fear the most. I believe that it exists yet I don’t know how it feels. It’s scary for me to fall in love so I run away when I feel it approaching me and end up hurting those I love.” He looked at you while you stared out in front of you motionless. It was a bold question to ask but he had to. “Do you feel it approaching you?” Nervous for your answer he mentally prepared himself for rejection. “I do…. But this time, I don’t feel scared. I mean I’m terrified but I have to face it at some point. I can love someone but…. I don’t know how to be in love with someone.” She wanted him to know so badly why she was so fucked up but she was scared he’d leave her. She knew he was a caring person and she knows how he feels but she wants him to tell her when he feels ready and although it’s unsure of what she’ll do, y/n doesn’t want to hurt someone who doesn’t deserve her burden. It’s scares the living hell out of her that she’ll crumble down so hard that nobody would want to put her back together and that’s why she pushes the thought of being “in love” away. “Y/n…. you know I’m here for you right? You don’t have to tell me if you aren’t ready.” You looked at him and gave him a genuine smile. Reaching out to place your hand on his face he took in the warmth of you palm and closed his eyes. “I’m never going to be 100% ready to tell you Joon. I just don’t want you or any of the boys to see me at my worst. It’s not something to be seen knowing people can walk away. Don’t fall in love with me.... You’ll just be disappointed and leave...” But it was too late for him not to. He’d fallen so hard for you that you were a delicate feather to him and he held you so gently thinking you’d break apart at any moment. He didn’t care anymore whether you push him away because he mentally prepared himself to break those walls you’ve built. Or so he thought….

Okay okay okay so I don’t know if it’s good but feedback would be very helpful I hope you guys like it i’m hella nervous ~.~

#Kim namjoon #Namjoon #Fanfic #Bts fanfic #Namjoon fanfic #bts scenarios #rap monster #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #bts romance

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numinousmoons-blog · 6 years

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Finding a home in a place I have never been to

I absolutely adore sleeping. I get excited when I can just brush my teeth and tuck myself into bed, so having a place where I can do that is important.

*deep breath*

🎵 Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down

And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there

I’ll tell you how... 🎵

I am the reason we can’t have nice things. :)

Long story short, I was offered a room at one of the international student's dorm and I decided that a) I wasn’t going to take it and b) I would find an off-campus accommodation that is wayyyyy better and more convenient…. Spoiler alert: that doesn’t exist.

Here is the problem I encountered that I would like to warn others about so they don’t end up looking like boo boo the fool. I am not fluent in Korean, the difference in time zones between where I live and Seoul is 14 hours, and I had no idea where to even begin looking. This stressed me out because by the time I could even find someone to ask about room vacancies, there were communication issues. *TIP* Please do extensive research and give yourself enough time to weigh the pros and cons of your options! And, if you decide not to live on campus, make a reservation at an apartment/sharehouse/goshiwon MONTHS in advance. I’m not kidding. A month before the start of a semester, all the fairly nice places will be booked out. If you wait this long, you will most likely be stuck at the economically friendly but poorly rated places and you will not be happy. I wasn’t.

So before I continue my story, here is a breakdown of what I learned:

Seoul has so many living options because there's a lot of students and office workers who need affordable housing. Your options range based on location, price, size, amenities, etc. and the one that suits you the best depends on what you’re looking to get out of your experience. I’ll break some of the options down for those who need it, but make sure you look at multiple sources!

Apartment: ummmm I actually don’t know much about the apartment scene in Korea since I didn’t really look it up? To my basic knowledge, apartments come out pretty expensive and not as popular as other options, but I’m sure the options vary depending on what apartment type living situation you’re looking for (room/kitchen/bathroom/etc. to yourself) sorreh im useless :(

Sharehouses/AirBnB: the name is kinda self-explanatory, but it’s basically a big house you share with other people. (if you’ve ever seen Hello My Twenties, they live in a sharehouse!) you can either have your own room, or have a roommate(s), but the common areas like the bathroom, living room, and kitchen are shared with everyone who lives in the house. Usually, they’re same-sex (all that I have seen) and the rooms are typically bigger than what you can expect anywhere else. The landowner may live on the property or nearby and they’ll handle issues with basic house things (maintenance and such) but you and your housemates will be in charge of cleaning and cooking. Sharehouses tend to be farther away from schools so you may need to use the bus or subway. A washing machine might be provided but otherwise, a laundromat is usually nearby and the kitchen will have a fridge, stove, cooking ware, etc. There are options to stay at AirBnB’s longterm, and it basically works like a sharehouse type of situation but again it is still pretty expensive and farther away distance wise. Only difference is your housemates could be constantly changing.

Pros: bigger space, homey and generally well looked after, the surrounding area is more slow-paced

Cons: mostly not within walking distance of universities, in medium to high price range, unpredictable roommate compatibility, shared responsibility for house chores

Goshiwon: This is probably the most popular form of housing in Korea, and is popularly seen in dramas (the room Bong Sun gets kicked out of in Oh My Ghostess, and where the students in Drinking Solo lived!) Goshiwons are small rooms that generally fit a twin sized bed, desk/chair, and small storage cabinets/drawers. Goshiwons are on the low to medium price range, but they’re veryyyyy small! You can pay extra to have a private bath/toilet or choose a community style bathroom where you share with the other residents on your floor (segregated by gender). A kitchen is available with the proper appliances you may need for cooking. The amenities of goshiwon vary but are generally some foods such as bread, rice, egg, tea, coffee, and ramen. They have washing machines (but no dryers! As is common in Korea and other countries) and have a designated area for hanging wet clothes. Goshiwons are literally everywhere but communicating may be a problem for some owners. Not all are listed online and many people recommend searching for a room in person so you have a better visual of what you’re getting, but this isn’t an option for most. Goshipages.com is the website I used to begin my research and gave me a better idea of what to expect. I recommend reading any reviews you can find from past residents on any of the goshiwons you’re interested in!

Pros: inexpensive, pretty great amenities (free food and sometimes even laundry!), tend to be closer to stores/restaurants/school/transportation

Cons: small rooms, located in the streets of the city so people/car noise may be a problem, pictures online can be dated and the rooms could end up being in worse condition than expected

University Dorms: ***this is based on my particular University’s dorm options*** There are specific dorms for international students and, in my opinion, they tend to be catered more towards how dorms are in the US. The rooms are spacious, with the option for a single, double, or triple room. The rooms are situated with either four singles sharing a bathroom/common area, a single and double sharing a bathroom, a single and two doubles sharing a bathroom, or a double and triple sharing a bathroom. There are communal kitchens situated on all the floors, a small gym, washer and dryer machine in the basement (about 1,000 krw per use), and printing/computers. Since this is University property, there are a lot of rules that you MUST follow, such as no opposite gendered or overnight guests, no food in the rooms, etc. The dorms for my school are located about 10-15 minutes from the center of campus but are really close to the stadium (convenient for events!)

Pros: on-campus, affordable, big rooms

Cons: long walk to stores/restaurants/transportation, not really something “new” as I have already experienced a similar living situation at my home university’s school dorms

Now… back to the disaster that is my life :,D

I was offered a dorm, a double as I had requested, and up until I received the notification I was 100000% sure a dorm is what I wanted. AND YET I canceled my housing application.

*sigh*

In the notification that I was assigned a dorm, there was a warning statement which informed us that a year-long construction project would be taking place in the dorm area and may result in dust and noise for the majority of the day and into the night .-. um wut

I don’t know what kind of headspace I was in at the time but a nagging feeling in the back of my mind was telling me that I could find a more convenient and comfortable place to live. And I might have had I made a reservation months before, but I'm sad to report my options were limited and cheap. I spiraled into a stress frenzy and contacted all kinds of goshiwons in Korean, in English, through multiple websites, looked up sharehouses, and yet I was beginning to regret giving up the spacious and secure dorm room. I was torn because I felt that living in a goshiwon on a busy street in Seoul could be a much more authentic living experience. Yet, on the other hand, I worried that maybe the culture shock would be hard to manage, especially in the first few weeks, and having a more familiar dorm could relive some of the stress I’m bound to be under. I decided in the end that I should have just stuck with the dorm and construction, and I was basically screwed. But...

My saving grace came in the form of an email from the University and I was reassigned to my original dorm room. Hehe.

Long story short: I like to make things complicated when it really doesn’t need to be. And do your research. Pls. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

~ a frazzled and embarrassed Lina

#new blog #travel #study abroad #study Abroad 2018 #travel blog #south korea #university student #exchange student #SUMMER 2018 #personal blog #housing abroad #my long story #that literally sucks but #this is who i am #Lina in EA

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theloveshackchronicles-blog · 6 years

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Coping with Depression:

Battling depression is a full time job. In order to keep it from damaging anything going well for you, you must take action. Lets face it, no one likes to be around someone who is always down, complaining, negative and just plain drab. But the person dealing with these issues does NOT do this on purpose. Sometimes, the person battling depression is not aware of how much their depressive behavior effects others.

I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety as a young teenager. After my mom and dad split up and we moved to New York, my whole life changed. I went from living a calm, country life in Pennsylvania to living in a high paced and diverse life in New York. I'll never forget our move here and the strength I witnessed my mother obtain out of the clear blue. She knew no other way of life without my father. We started out with NOTHING! We had some clothes, photo albums and a few other things to get us started but for the most part, our mom had to work so hard to give us our life back. The life we all so desperately deserved.

Here we were. My mom, my sister and I living in a one bedroom apartment that we converted into a two bedroom (my mother has great interior and organizing skills) My sister got the private room as she was the older teenager who needed her space and privacy. And for years, my mom and I were roommates and shared the converted bedroom. We had so little but I was the happiest I had ever been. I started to see my mom flower into this beast of a woman. She gained her confidence back and began socializing and building friendships. We joined a community church where I found myself spending all my time. I sang in the choir and did bible groups with the teen ministry. I was so into it, that I received perfect attendance two years in a row. I enjoyed church more than school...sadly.... I DID NOT LIKE SCHOOL!

Little by little, things started looking up for us. Occasionally, my mom would allow me to spend weekends with my dad. And if you know me, you know that I grew up as daddy's little girl. I was my fathers pride and joy. But after my parents split and I learned why... I didn't really like spending time with my father. I had created this alliance against him because obviously I attached myself to my mother and related to her more and more as the years progressed. Each time I went to stay with my dad, I would get terribly sick with a high fever and would be in bed the entire time. He would try to cheer me up by taking me shopping for clothes or letting me visit my cousins on his side of the family. But my nerves were so bad and I almost felt like I was betraying my mother and would literally make myself get sick with worry. I never had the courage to express why I was so nervous. He was my dad! I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I would rather stay up crying all night, missing my mom than to ever admit that I had looked at my father differently. I think at this point is when I learned to swallow my problems. My problems were a "burden" in my mind. I became the perfect child. I always cleaned and made sure things were organized and sanitized in our home. I got my first job and started contributing to food costs and bills. I became a young woman very quickly. I accepted responsibility without a question.

During this time, my sister had my nephews... my first loves... my twins. I was 14 when they were born. At this time, my dad moved closer to us and my parents tried working things out. My sister had a very high risk pregnancy and required medical attention in a hospital about an hour away. My parents stayed with her day in and day out while I was home and went to school. I never had so much freedom... ever! I took full advantage of my sister absorbing my parents attention. This is when I became a little less perfect and decided to test my boundaries. My first act of rebellion was when I let my best friends step mom frost my virgin hair!!! My mom had a fit!! How dare I BLEACH MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR without permission!!!! It wasn't like me to make decisions like that without consulting mom. Disappointing my mother was my worst fear... but at 14.... you wasn't tellin me shit!! My hair was bleached and my eyebrows.....holy shit my eyebrows were hideous! But I thought I was the SHIT. LOL! I started becoming involved in expensive fashion and started quite the sneaker collection too. I had a stupid boyfriend also (rolls eyes) If you'd even like to call it that. I wasn't allowed to date. So my relationship was hidden and solely a phone relationship. I never saw this stupid boy. He was a bad boy. He smoked lots of weed. I did not. He smoked cigarettes. I did not. He dropped out of school. I wouldn't dare. We were opposite people but he was popular and liked me so why not? Well here's why not. Those bad boys want sex! And girl, you're a Puerto Rican virgin. With a Puerto Rican father who wouldn't think twice about going to prison for killing some hoodlum. Plus, my sister just became a teen mom! NO SEX!! I FEARED SEX!!!! So, because I didn't put out, my stupid boyfriend found other girls who would. Girls with nicer bodies and girls with parents who let them sleep over their boyfriends houses. UMMMM. NO. NOT IN THE CORDERO RESIDENCE. But this jerk wouldn't let me go. He wanted me to be this good girl who waited for his phone call when he got home from his side girls house. That got so old. I felt so insecure. Like what if I just have sex? What if I just see if it works out and he'll stop talking to other girls. But i never gave in. I never let him get the privilege of taking something so dear to me. I let his ass go. I didn't want to feel useless anymore. I didn't want to be second best. He made me feel like I was not worth having something really special. He had to go. I didn't realize that he created a monster. All I craved was the right attention from a good guy. I wanted to hurry up and get married. I wanted a family and I wanted to get the fuck out of my parents house. So I met a man. A man from a wholesome family. He had a career and plenty of money to spoil me with. He drove sick cars and took me on many vacations. This is what I deserved!!!! Or so I thought. Fast forward a few years and this man became my husband. He was my first everything!!! He showed me what it was like to have good work ethic, how to budget money... basically... he taught me how to be an adult. We got married when I was 20.... a few months after my father passed away. My father loved my fiancé. He loved that he didn't have to worry about me anymore. He trusted this man with his daughter. Life was good and I felt like I was doing right by the number 1 man in my life. What I didn't know is what kind of person I would become after losing such a close part of my life to death. Grieving isn't easy for anyone. And for me, I don't think I'll ever be ok with saying my father is gone. The tiny line of depression I once had as a young teen blew up to be the most overwhelming depression for a young adult.

For months, I pretended as if the death of my father didn't exist. I went through with a wedding and marriage that I was not fully emotionally invested in. I became a mother the same year. And for a little while.... I felt heaven. My first born entered my life. Everyone was soooooo excited for Madden. My goodness he was and is still so loved. He made my life so beautiful. I sort of replaced an emptiness I had from losing my dad. Nothing was better than being a mom. NOTHING!! Time passed and while I battled some post-partum depression... things weren't so bad.

But then... the emptiness started coming back. Nothing made me happy. I couldn't get out of bed. I would party all weekend and not come home sometimes. I had zero respect for my marriage. I didn't want to be married anymore. And who was I going to disappoint? The only person I worried about failing is gone!!! I had built a wall of indestructible material. After 3 years of being married and now having a two year old, my husband and I divorced. The story behind that is a whole notha novella.

We didn't always see eye to eye after the divorce and it took us a few years to adjust to co-parenting but we are great now. We have learned how to raise our son without allowing the courts to decide our destiny. We do a better job co-parenting than we ever did as a couple. So although this was bitter, things have gotten 10000 times better. That part I am grateful for. The in between times though... they were rough. I didn't want any money from my ex. I just wanted to be out of the relationship so I didn't take him for money or child support. I just wanted out!! But that meant.... starting from scratch... again. Survival mode is really all I know. And when things are good and calm, my depression and anxiety have a way of sabotaging the good things around me. Then... survival mode kicks in. I am more comfortable in my chaos than my solitude. That,my friend is anxiety!!

From the age of 12 to the amazing age of 30.... all I have done is survive. I have mastered the art of "figuring it out" And if you can imagine.... when you're always figuring it out, there is no time for friendships. There's barely time to think! I was growing at a pace that other girls my age knew nothing about. I did a good job at making it look easy too. But it wasn't! People who I thought were close to me became sooo two-faced and would tell other people things I had confided in them with. Deep secrets and "tea" you thought you could trust friends with. WRONG! I felt like I was always clearing up fires of gossip that involved me but wasn't even true! I found myself explaining myself for no reason to people who held no real substance to my life. I can say that I learned a lot about not only myself but about how awful other can be.

That's when I started to fade out and meet new people and start new adventures. I worked two jobs at all times and on the off times, I spent all my time with my son. Work and being a mother was all I needed and cared about. People would make comments like "you're a bad mother because you don't have your son all the time" GASPS.... why does that make me a bad mother? My son has a father. A father who wants to be there. A father who can provide love and shelter. A father who is present! Why would I take that from my son for my own selfishness? Yes, I WANTED MY SON EVERYDAY. but it wasn't about me!! I had to do what was right for my son. I could have been selfish and been this single mom who does it alone but I didn't choose that life for myself. I chose to have a child with a great man. And I will never regret my decision to split my time with his father. And shame on anyone who makes mothers feel bad for actually putting their feelings aside for the betterment of their child. Its bad enough that you have to make a decision to spilt your family. But to act like you did it alone is fucking stupid! I didn't do it alone and I have the support. And Madden turned out to be an incredible young man!! Not because his parents are fuck ups.

A lot has happened in my life since then. I rekindled a relationship with the love of my life and we had our first child together. We are two AMAZING parents if I do say so myself. Our family is so strong and so focused on love and acceptance that I can now confidently leave depression behind me. Some days are still really really hard. Some days I just want to give up on my relationship. Some days I wonder how I am even going to make it to the next day without checking into an institution of some sort but my support system is unlike any other. I have friends. I have imperfect friends. Friends who check on me but don't require tons of attention. Friends who understand what its like to be spread way too thin. MOMMY FRIENDS WHO ARE THE BEST MOMS EVER!!

The best thing I have gotten from depression is admitting that I am a depressed person. I stopped hiding it. I went to therapy and gained trust in people again. That wall came down a little bit. I want to give partial credit to my age and reaching that level of "fuck it" but mostly the credit goes to learning that life is so unpredictable. People die. People you LOVE SO MUCH! People lie! They cheat!

The lesson I learned is to accept the little, not so perfect things about myself in a way that doesn't haunt me for the rest of my life. My intensions throughout my uncertainty were never malicious. My behavior was only a cry for help and attention. Not knowing that the attention I needed was from myself. To love and care for myself the way I would want a man to. And to stop living my life for others. To speak up when uncomfortable. To love without boundaries or reservations. To allow someone to love me the way i deserve to be loved. To grow amidst such pain and chaos. Depression and anxiety are designed to make you hate yourself.... but you... you are so special. You are so beautiful and so worthy of all the great things you want and WILL GET!!. Talk to someone who cares. Reach out in times you don't always feel so good about decisions of your life.

YOU HAVE A FRIEND IN ME!!

-recovering

#depression beauty overcome love

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